Received a job offer from a specialty insurance/risk management firm for an SVP role. I know absolutely nothing about the space, but it is an increase in base from $185k to $325k (total ote is $290k to $400k+)
15+ years of work experience, the last 3 at an MBB consulting firm. I’m part of a group that is new to the firm & under-utilized, so we’re more of venture. 1% raise last year, 7% the other 2.
Will this kill my career long term? Leaving one of the most reputable (and best place to work) according to ratings.

Hi. I am a fresh graduate looking for a job. The first interview went by smoothly with the company's HR, then I was scheduled a second interview in a company days after that.
They scheduled me an interview with the manager at 9:00AM. I got there 8:30AM because I don't want to be late. Then an employee guided us to a waiting area and by 9:15 AM, HR checked my attendance and told us to wait (there are also other applicants, but different positions) so I waited. Almost 1 hour later, HR told us that manager cannot make it, so the interview will be conducted online in the office and told us to wait, AGAIN. Then I started to get bored, even the other applicants. I told myself if another hour passes, I will leave since I still have other important errands to do. I did plan to dedicate my time for the interview because I expected that it will start based on their set time just like my first interview, but NO.
Then 11:00 AM strikes (2 hours passed), and no new updates about the interview. I stood up and left the office without notifying HR because they are located in an office that only employees can enter. Then about 30 minutes later, while I am on a bus on my way to somewhere else, I missed a call from them (my phone is always on silent, not even vibrate). Then I sent them a message saying I am sorry for leaving (because of their delay) and asked if they can just reschedule my interview. I haven't received a reply as of now. I don't know if they will, though.
So am I wrong for leaving? I am still inexperienced with job interviews, so I feel guilty for not waiting long enough even though the interview was supposed to start 2 hours ago.

(As far as scheduling goes, I'm US west coast mostly working nights, so that means I’m good midday relative to North American times and evenings relative to Europe. In addition, Mondays, Wednesdays, and evenings Friday are entirely free for me!)
This might be a really good fit for your campaign if many (not necessarily all) of the following are true:

• You like roleplay that can take itself seriously and a little drama with your storytelling!
• Your writing occasionally and tactfully touches on darker and more mature themes! (Though isn't necessarily grimdark.)
• Stories about mortals in your world are important relative to stories about mythology and gods!
• Your table encourages longer character arcs/relationship building with plenty of room for development!
• The campaign has a defined job to do, an established goal or ideal to work towards; something either set by the party or as a part of a larger faction!

So, this comes from a story I imagine many roleplayers are familiar with: put my heart into fleshing out a character, their themes and personality… and, campaign dies in its infancy. But while I hardly had a chance to play her, this concept is something I’d really want a chance to run! To be very clear, the specifics of her character are something I want to tie into your setting and story - the basic themes of the concept remain, but I want to immerse myself and be a real part of your world! As for what I have in mind, feel free to give this a read: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1s07dPj3m42bqCFecXI0qW8JvjmMQKPhIb_wck_MEFSI/edit
I’m something of a forever DM with years of experience, and I always try to be the player for your group that I would love in mine. I am a queer individual, and I find it very important generally that everybody at the table is comfortable and on the same page. I adore unique homebrew lore and the passion put into unique settings; I’ll read everything you give me, both to immerse myself in your world and steal it for my own! My writing usually puts a special focus on the “human” elements of a story; the people, their lives, cultures, relationships, and motivations - and the conflict between them. My biggest payoff from the game is definitely the storytelling aspect. I absolutely love a well-roleplayed plot arc or a dramatic confrontation!
I think this has gone on plenty long enough, so thank you for your interest if you’ve made it this far! If you have any questions or ideas, or just feel like randomly interrogating me, let me know and we can chat here or move to Discord.

Hi,
I have marked most imporant parts as how long I use each meds in what dose, info of me, my questions, supplements used, nootropics thinking of, new meds for panic disorder treatment, plan to quit benzos, advice about Memantine. If you want, there is whole story and treatment:) Thx I have a lifetime nonmedicated ADHD + OCD (will finally have atomoexin in july after like 8 docs) but mainly severe panic disorder since 12/23 caused by badly burning out and not stopping work + too much stress from all sides, mostly family and workspace/company. It started close to xmas and wanted to finish year and worked until my body completely disabled to it to me but right after it came xmas, which is not my fav time of year ending in keeping me in attacks 24/7. Btw Im 29yo man, 193cm, 90kg, sporting, financial advisor self employed, living alone, used to be really busy all the time, multiple addictions behind me mostly because depression (alcohol),pain (kratom) and stimulants bcs its so addictive with adhd :D But I dont abuse anything since 02/23 when I barely survived WD from forced CT a lot of alcohol every day and I want to be healthy and drugs free!
I am currently getting off xanax and on SSRI, starting my new recovery plan below as previous didnt help enough and asking if you know anything that could help me get my full life back sooner I work as I can/want, mostly 2-6 h/day and only from home, going to multiple types of therapy, investing insane money to get recovered and looking for every possible way. I am open for any tip or advice on nootropic, peptide, maybe even SARMs that could help me get over this. Even if you dont have time or dont want to read all previous treatment and new plan and have idea what could help me, write it please. But I have to be careful with anything interacts with SSRI as I will be also on buspar, I have a safe med for serotonin syndrome if needed.. Also if you see gaps or risks in my meds plan, some ideas, useful info or better ways, I will be glad to know it:) Mostly about Memantine - when to use, in which part of protocol it will be most beneficial or what to expect.
I use/tried almost every useful supplement including adaptogens, herbs, expensive vitamins, mushrooms, gotu kola, NAC, tyrosine, inositol and just anything that could be useful + basics use all year. Also have Alpha GPC which made my adhd brain supercomputer before I got beaten but now doesnt work. Tried before noopept and a lot of racetams, idra21 and some more but with no effect and modafinil before with effect, but mostly anxiety, too much concentrating on one thing and severe insomnia.
I am already pretty sure about Agmatine, Sulbutiamine instead of Benfotiamine (any difference?), not sure of Bromantane on ssri (?), 9-me is no go, maybe NALT (?), Theacrine as Im tired from SSRI all the time and too much coffee makes me axnious, maybe Vinpocetine or Uridine triacetate? centrophenoxine? dihexa?
My treatment from december to now:
I had no idea wth is this, told my psychologist what is happening to me and asking many times if its serious and casually replied that is probably from stress. So I treated it as burnout by resting, then removing original causes and triggers, removing problems from my mind and life, reducing stress to minimum, even leaving my pretty good paid job after 9 yers. But nothing helped besides benzos which made me not feel attacks so much and when I went off after 6 weeks, symptoms came back the same day.
I always said no to ADs but this time I didnt see any other option so I got SSRI citalopram 20, later 30mg now 6 weeks, first weeks were hell of anxiety and tiredness, last 2 weeks they help but effect is enough to keep me attack free only at home, outside flat still almost instant PA + side effects are still bad.
Same with benzos now again for 6 weeks afte break from previous cycle, mostly xanax 1,5-2mg a day, when Im home with no problems I can stay on 0,5mg with no WD. But want to quit asap, Im standing on the edge of little discomfort or living hell WDs. Also it makes me dumb, careless and not caring, but dont have cravings or abuse them, until now there was no other medication in my country :/ Also I already had GABA WDs pretty bad from alcohol many times and from phenibut in february by mistake (3 weeks of 2-3x a week before I had benzos). I would rather skip this opportunity to be on boat walking simulator with scary shadowy guy in my bedroom.
Next week I will make a big changes:
Will to add Buspar in small doses to SSRI, probably 30mg citalopram + 2x7,5mg buspar for long term and propranolol over benzos before I leave flat for panic attacks - I have mostly physical symptoms and over these months my brain has learned to go panic mode when I go around people or noise but im not scared, wanting to hide or anxious, want to go out. Hope this will allow me to relearn the BIOS of my brain and body they wont start panicking as it has learned over months of nonstop attack (january until end of april, just moving on scale 1-10 but never off). Propranolon as beta-blocker should not allow my body to go panic defense mode and mental anxiety I can handle now. My mind is still quite ok, not much depressed or in bad mood, last days even thinking a bit sharper and can handle it but body/brain program are stuck. Hope this will allow me over time to get off SSRI to just Buspar + non addictive anxiety aid as needed or at least switch to SNRI or Wellbutrin as im energetic person but with this SSRI im meeeeeeeh all the time.
As propranolon arrives I will cut benzos to lowest dosage where I wont feel WD, probably 0,5mg/day and switch to Clonazepam (have benzos and can ask doc anytime), keep this dose for 2-3 weeks, taper to 0,35mg, wait and this until i go down around 0,2mg/day. Maybe slower if it will be painful or risk worse WDs when i cut them off.
For quitting benzos I have clonidine (WD reduce, camling, ADHD), pregabalin (GABA substance replacement, anti seizure but addictive), baclofen (GABA substance replacement, anti seizure also addictive)), Etifoxine (nonbenzo anxiolytics, I guess mostly PAWS) and Topiramate (seizure and migraine prevention, WD reduce) and Hydroxyzine (sleepy antihistamine nonaddictive) to get off them asap with no risk seizure and suffering for weeks in terrible WDs. I wont use all the aids together but as needed for current symptoms and not get hooked on none of them as only atarax is safe.
Also finally will get ADHD meds atomoxetin, but as I have no energy, even adhd is not so present and clonidine also helps for adhd. And I have found one super special med you will be interested about- Memantine (bgpharm), do you have experiences about this so called miracle drug? It make you feel softly with unlimited brain power, also it shall lower tolerances to almost all substances and by 30-60% over 7-14 days and then make WDs easier + also helps ADHD. But have no idea when to use it in my plan, I got 2 packs and its cheap so can buy more but dont want to mess with getting off bzs and learning to manage going out. Same question with atomoxetin - when to start? its not stimulant so it should not affect attacks nor benzo WD but idk.
Just in case there would be too much serotonin I will have Cyproheptadine for SS. It should not happen from SSRI+Buspiron but some nootropic or WD med can cause it. And just remembered I shall take some ephedrine/yohimbine if my BP or HB goes too slow from propranolon/clonidine... :/
I will still go for checks to doc and psychiatrist but the medical procedures in my country got stuck in time in year when producers of SSRI/benzos gave some gifts for doctors or politics. So they just give you this combo announcing you it will work (didnt) and you wont get addicted in 3 months of xan (would). Also propranolon is not approved med for anxiety in my county, only bzds and buspirone, but after trying several ADs on you :/
Thank you so much for any knowledge you share with me!

Hi,
I have marked most imporant parts as how long I use each meds in what dose, info of me, my questions, supplements used, nootropics thinking of, new meds for panic disorder treatment, plan to quit benzos, advice about Memantine. If you want, there is whole story and treatment:) Thx I have a lifetime nonmedicated ADHD + OCD (will finally have atomoexin in july after like 8 docs) but mainly severe panic disorder since 12/23 caused by badly burning out and not stopping work + too much stress from all sides, mostly family and workspace/company. It started close to xmas and wanted to finish year and worked until my body completely disabled to it to me but right after it came xmas, which is not my fav time of year ending in keeping me in attacks 24/7. Btw Im 29yo man, 193cm, 90kg, sporting, financial advisor self employed, living alone, used to be really busy all the time, multiple addictions behind me mostly because depression (alcohol),pain (kratom) and stimulants bcs its so addictive with adhd :D But I dont abuse anything since 02/23 when I barely survived WD from forced CT a lot of alcohol every day and I want to be healthy and drugs free!
I am currently getting off xanax and on SSRI, starting my new recovery plan below as previous didnt help enough and asking if you know anything that could help me get my full life back sooner I work as I can/want, mostly 2-6 h/day and only from home, going to multiple types of therapy, investing insane money to get recovered and looking for every possible way. I am open for any tip or advice on nootropic, peptide, maybe even SARMs that could help me get over this. Even if you dont have time or dont want to read all previous treatment and new plan and have idea what could help me, write it please. But I have to be careful with anything interacts with SSRI as I will be also on buspar, I have a safe med for serotonin syndrome if needed.. Also if you see gaps or risks in my meds plan, some ideas, useful info or better ways, I will be glad to know it:) Mostly about Memantine - when to use, in which part of protocol it will be most beneficial or what to expect.
I use/tried almost every useful supplement including adaptogens, herbs, expensive vitamins, mushrooms, gotu kola, NAC, tyrosine, inositol and just anything that could be useful + basics use all year. Also have Alpha GPC which made my adhd brain supercomputer before I got beaten but now doesnt work. Tried before noopept and a lot of racetams, idra21 and some more but with no effect and modafinil before with effect, but mostly anxiety, too much concentrating on one thing and severe insomnia.
I am already pretty sure about Agmatine, Sulbutiamine instead of Benfotiamine (any difference?), not sure of Bromantane on ssri (?), 9-me is no go, maybe NALT (?), Theacrine as Im tired from SSRI all the time and too much coffee makes me axnious, maybe Vinpocetine or Uridine triacetate? centrophenoxine? dihexa?
My treatment from december to now:
I had no idea wth is this, told my psychologist what is happening to me and asking many times if its serious and casually replied that is probably from stress. So I treated it as burnout by resting, then removing original causes and triggers, removing problems from my mind and life, reducing stress to minimum, even leaving my pretty good paid job after 9 yers. But nothing helped besides benzos which made me not feel attacks so much and when I went off after 6 weeks, symptoms came back the same day.
I always said no to ADs but this time I didnt see any other option so I got SSRI citalopram 20, later 30mg now 6 weeks, first weeks were hell of anxiety and tiredness, last 2 weeks they help but effect is enough to keep me attack free only at home, outside flat still almost instant PA + side effects are still bad.
Same with benzos now again for 6 weeks afte break from previous cycle, mostly xanax 1,5-2mg a day, when Im home with no problems I can stay on 0,5mg with no WD. But want to quit asap, Im standing on the edge of little discomfort or living hell WDs. Also it makes me dumb, careless and not caring, but dont have cravings or abuse them, until now there was no other medication in my country :/ Also I already had GABA WDs pretty bad from alcohol many times and from phenibut in february by mistake (3 weeks of 2-3x a week before I had benzos). I would rather skip this opportunity to be on boat walking simulator with scary shadowy guy in my bedroom.
Next week I will make a big changes:
Will to add Buspar in small doses to SSRI, probably 30mg citalopram + 2x7,5mg buspar for long term and propranolol over benzos before I leave flat for panic attacks - I have mostly physical symptoms and over these months my brain has learned to go panic mode when I go around people or noise but im not scared, wanting to hide or anxious, want to go out. Hope this will allow me to relearn the BIOS of my brain and body they wont start panicking as it has learned over months of nonstop attack (january until end of april, just moving on scale 1-10 but never off). Propranolon as beta-blocker should not allow my body to go panic defense mode and mental anxiety I can handle now. My mind is still quite ok, not much depressed or in bad mood, last days even thinking a bit sharper and can handle it but body/brain program are stuck. Hope this will allow me over time to get off SSRI to just Buspar + non addictive anxiety aid as needed or at least switch to SNRI or Wellbutrin as im energetic person but with this SSRI im meeeeeeeh all the time.
As propranolon arrives I will cut benzos to lowest dosage where I wont feel WD, probably 0,5mg/day and switch to Clonazepam (have benzos and can ask doc anytime), keep this dose for 2-3 weeks, taper to 0,35mg, wait and this until i go down around 0,2mg/day. Maybe slower if it will be painful or risk worse WDs when i cut them off.
For quitting benzos I have clonidine (WD reduce, camling, ADHD), pregabalin (GABA substance replacement, anti seizure but addictive), baclofen (GABA substance replacement, anti seizure also addictive)), Etifoxine (nonbenzo anxiolytics, I guess mostly PAWS) and Topiramate (seizure and migraine prevention, WD reduce) and Hydroxyzine (sleepy antihistamine nonaddictive) to get off them asap with no risk seizure and suffering for weeks in terrible WDs. I wont use all the aids together but as needed for current symptoms and not get hooked on none of them as only atarax is safe.
Also finally will get ADHD meds atomoxetin, but as I have no energy, even adhd is not so present and clonidine also helps for adhd. And I have found one super special med you will be interested about- Memantine (bgpharm), do you have experiences about this so called miracle drug? It make you feel softly with unlimited brain power, also it shall lower tolerances to almost all substances and by 30-60% over 7-14 days and then make WDs easier + also helps ADHD. But have no idea when to use it in my plan, I got 2 packs and its cheap so can buy more but dont want to mess with getting off bzs and learning to manage going out. Same question with atomoxetin - when to start? its not stimulant so it should not affect attacks nor benzo WD but idk.
Just in case there would be too much serotonin I will have Cyproheptadine for SS. It should not happen from SSRI+Buspiron but some nootropic or WD med can cause it. And just remembered I shall take some ephedrine/yohimbine if my BP or HB goes too slow from propranolon/clonidine... :/
I will still go for checks to doc and psychiatrist but the medical procedures in my country got stuck in time in year when producers of SSRI/benzos gave some gifts for doctors or politics. So they just give you this combo announcing you it will work (didnt) and you wont get addicted in 3 months of xan (would). Also propranolon is not approved med for anxiety in my county, only bzds and buspirone, but after trying several ADs on you :/
Thank you so much for any knowledge you share with me!

I have never been in a relationship. Recently I got an offer from a girl in my office. The first day I saw her in the office I was never attracted to her romantically, then about a month passed and nothing happened, she and I never talked
Then our office took us all on a trip where I was more open and she and I interacted, on the first day of the trip she got drunk and started flirting with me, I also jokes around and mostly ignored her signals cause she was very drunk
The next day she was much more calm but continued the flirting a little bit, we came back from the trip and she still continued, kept announcing to the whole office (whoever could listen within the vicinity) that she likes me
I never got this much attention from anyone so this made me confused and made me attracted to her a bit
She kept on coming onto me everyday so I made an excuse that I don't date my colleagues, the next day she resigned from her job (she always planned to do it, I was not a factory in her decision to leave)
Then she took my phone number and texted me and same thing started again, I tried to dodge her but she keeps bringing it up so I made another excuse that I can't date her because she is leaving the country for her studies and I don't want long distance, but she still is asking me out that we can manage
I was never interested in her romantically but now I am a bit attracted to her because she is the only woman that gives me this much attention
She is not a bad looking girl but also I don't think I can ever listen to a romantic song and imagine her in that song with me, whenever I listen to a romantic song I imagine my school crush, I don't think I can ever associate a romantic song with this girl
What should I do?

I've been actively applying for roles as have been looking to leave the Met, and 've secured a position after successfully passing the interview stage and now awaiting vetting. However, the vetting process requires a Met Police reference, and here's where the dilemma arises: I haven't informed anyone at my current job about my job search.
Should I consider disclosing my job move to my line manager preemptively, anticipating that the reference check might reach him?

This is gonna be long so bear with me pls. I (f21) used to hook up with this guy (m22), I started liking him a lot, he said he wasn’t interested in a relationship. I didn’t take it personally plus I was transferring to another school abroad at the end of the year and then I’d probably never see him again.
About 3 months after i moved (so march 2023) he spontaneously booked a flight and came to visit me during spring break, he stayed with me and we were together basically the whole time, we hooked up but it was kind of an fwb situation? but throughout he kept dropping hints which I decided to ignore since I knew he wasn’t interested in being more than friends.
I do want to mention that I come from a rather well to do family and i might be a little spoilt in the sense that my family pays my tuition so I don’t have student loans and I get my rent money and some pocket money from home because my family doesn’t want me to work yet so I can focus on school more, but since I moved I have been working 2 jobs (without my family knowing) to save money because I like to live comfortably, go shopping, travel, and I’m trying to save up for my masters so I’m pretty comfortable financially, which he saw on his visit since I paid for p much everything. (Now that I think about it, I took a leave from work and didn’t have school that week so he didn’t actually see how hard I work, to him i was just chilling all day and living rich).
When he went back after his visit he kept talking ab how he has such a good time with me and how he really likes me and we started talking a lot more and I was kinda into him again. After like a month he started telling me that he wants to stop seeing other people and he dsnt want me to see other people either, still no mention of a relationship but he wanted to be exclusive. I had been on a couple dates since I moved but I wasn’t really interested in anyone so I agreed. Within a month of that (so june 2023) he started saying he loves me and for the longest time I hesitated to say it back but eventually i did. He kept saying he wants to visit me again etc but he cnt afford it. I agreed to pay bec i wanted to see him too but I thought that since I didn’t have school all month we could go on a little vacation instead of just him coming over, since I could afford it. We planned an trip for July and decided everything but before I paid for anything I asked him if he sees this ever turning into a relationship and he told me no at first but after i said if it’s not going anywhere (I was going to pay for his flights, all the stay and we would split the money we spend there) I don’t want to invest financially in it like time is one thing but i work really hard for the money, he said he just doesn’t feel like he’s ready for a relationship now but gave me hope saying that might change as we spend time together. I was naive enough to fall for that and we went on our little vacation.
Towards the end of the vacation like 2 days before we were supposed to go back, we were at a club and I was sitting down with my drink while he was on the floor and I saw him make a snapchat call and he was on it for a while and in the middle of it his screen lit up and a girl’s (let’s call her K) bitmoji was on it, so i went up to him to ask who he was talking to, he straight up lied and told me it was one of his guy friends and i just went and sat back down. After he finished the call he came and sat next to me and held his phone in a way that he obviously wanted me to look at the screen bec he had called his guy friend now the bitmoji was on the screen, which was such a failure because his guy friend didn’t even answer the phone he just showed me the “ringing” screen. I didn’t say anything tho because we both were pretty drunk and I didn’t want to start a fight in that condition. The next was our last night there and it went well but on the way back to our hotel at the end of the night i forgot my phone in the uber and used his phone to call the uber driver to ask if there was any way i could get it back. He was almost passed put by the time the uber driver came back around to bring my phone so i asked him if i could take his phone outside while i go to bring my phone just in case I need to contact the driver, he agreed and unlocked his phone and gave it to me. When i was going, K called him and i just rejected the call but then she sent him like a million texts and my suspicion got the best of me and I opened the chat. I barely had to scroll up before I saw several explicit msgs and photos (all very recent) and it made me sick to my stomach. I got my phone back and went back to the room to find him passed out I threw his phone at him and he woke up and we talked about it basically all night, I was crying like the whole time and in the end he promised me he wouldn’t do it again and he only wants to be with me and all this other emo (and in hindsight, toxic) crap that I fell for at the time and the next day we flew back.
Things were okay for like 2 months after that. On Halloween we were both on facetime, getting ready to go to halloween parties (in our respective countries lol) and I was telling him how to do his makeup (he really likes my style and often asks me for advice on clothes, makeup, hair etc) we talked for a while it was all great and after we got ready we ended the call and I went to the party (it was like 10min from my place) and as soon as I got there I tried to send him a snap but couldn’t find him on my snapchat friend list, so i tried to text him on Instagram only to find he had blocked me, on everything.
I DID NOT handle that well. After he had been nc for a week, he called me. Of course, I couldn’t resist and answered. He asked for help with a school project (I would often help him with things like that, even tho he was in a much complex course i would learn his stuff and then help him with homework and stuff). Even tho I was not in good condition physically bec of the withdrawals and even tho he hadn’t even addressed the fact that he had blocked me on everything out of nowhere I decided to help him again because I was just so desperate to talk to him and I basically made the whole thing for him and he got a good grade, he thanked me and stuff and when i asked him why he blocked me he just said “idk i was just upset idk why” he just always refused to talk about it. But i mean social media is so accessible, i did see that he had been commenting on K’s old Instagram posts (he commented on ALL her posts actually) throughout the week, so i’m sure it had something to do with her, but I didn’t ask because he seemed irritable whenever i would bring it up.
We started talking like before again, he graduated (i’m still in school) and we planned for another vacation for new years eve. Big surprise, even tho he was the one who proposed the trip, now he was unemployed so he couldn’t afford it, again. And another big surprise, I agreed to pay for it again. It was all good except I brought about $1000 in cash to spend on the trip and every time I took money out of it he would comment about how it was such a “fat stack” which sussed me out a little but whatever. About halfway through the trip I got really drunk and passed out and when I woke up the next morning all my cash was gone and I asked him if he kept it with him and he refused and got mad at me for losing such a big amount of money (as if I wasn’t stressed enough) and how he was going to have to pay now (hotels and flights were already paid for, he’d be paying for drinks and food basically). I still don’t think he would steal from me bec if he wanted money he could just ask and I would have just given him and not even asked for it back but there’s nowhere it could’ve gone because I never took the whole cash out of the hotel room and it was just us two there. I didn’t want to accuse him of anything so i let that go and never mentioned it. But that was the first time I got sus ab him with the money.
Fast forward to two months ago, we planned another trip (to my home country this time) which was supposed to be two weeks long but while we were there we were having so much fun that we kept extending it and it ended up being a month long. I saved up hella for this trip because I knew exactly what hotels I wanted to stay at, what places i wanted to go etc and i knew it was gonna be kinda expensive but even then because we stayed much longer it also costed way more than expected. At this point he didn’t even have to tell me he couldn’t afford it, it was just understood that i would be paying since he was still unemployed. But this time he had this new credit card and wanted to increase his credit score so he asked if i could use his cards to book everything and pay HIM back instead, i was like sure whatever. So i booked both our flights on my card and hotels and stuff on his. We had the best time on this trip, felt closer to him than ever so I didn’t mind paying. We decided that I would give him a certain amount in cash (to avoid international transfer fee) and transfer the rest (because countries have a limit on how much cash u can bring without having to report to customs). Once again towards the end of the trip I saw he was still talking to that girl, and it wasn’t just sexual, he called her the same nicknames he called me, he sent her the same reels and stuff on Instagram that he sent me it was like reading his chats with me. I didn’t say anything then, but a couple hours later I asked him if we should see other people too, like keep seeing each other but also see other people (i even said “we both” so he dsnt feel the need to get defensive) and he said no he dsnt want to and he dsnt even want me to. Him lying again when i gave him a chance to end his lie really broke my heart completely (bec at this point he was just lying for the sake of it) but it was just 3 days before we were gonna leave so i decided not to ruin the rest of the trip and end things with him after I paid him back for the credit card (I’d already given him more than half the amount in cash as soon as we met). When we were booking flights to go back he insisted that be take pne with a layover in a third completely put of the way country because it was cheaper and i was like sure, but then he also said because it’s two really long flights he wants to stay in this third country for a couple days bec he wouldn’t be too exhausted and wanted me to pay for the airbnb, I already wasn’t a fan of paying for a whole solo trip for him where I wasn’t going (it was one of my bucket list countries too) so i tried to tell him to just suck it up and take a couple hour layover instead but he wouldn’t listen. AND to make it worse, i saw his phone again (I didn’t even checking his phone or anything even once on this trip, he had the conversation open while he was sitting next to me and i could see) and he was talking to this girl who was around that country and asked her if she would travel there for a couple days to meet him and she agreed at first but once he sent her an airbnb and asked what she thought about it, she left him on seen and never responded even after he offered to pay (im guessing bec initially she just thought he meant they would hang out and when he brought up staying together even she got creeped out). THIS MAN WANTED ME TO PAY FOR HIS INTERNATIONAL TRIP TO MEET ANOTHER GIRL WHO HE TOLD HE WAS PAYING FOR EVERYTHING.
That was my last straw i got so mad and we had a big conversation , highlights: (Note: this is all in a very calm tone, i was holding back tears but no one was being aggressive)
Him: she’s just a friend and I haven’t even ever slept with her or anything PLUS that’s not even happening i’m not going to see her Me: because SHE left you on seen, u were clearly trying in fact ur the one who asked her to begin with Him: sighs & shrugs
Me: what about the girl in (hometown)? Him:
Me: why did u block me after halloween Him: i cnt tell u that Me: is it because u were also lying to K, telling her u were not seeing other people n she found out u were talking to me and to keep her from leaving u blocked me till she calmed down? Him: sighs, leans back and looks away
Me: why is one girl not enough Him: bec I’m not 40 Me: so why do u lie instead of just being honest and saying ur also seeing other people Him: bec i dnt wanna hurt feelings Me: i never asked u for anything u were the one who insisted on being exclusive, u were the one who said u loved me first while u knew the whole time u were lying, u really had no reason to lie? Him: u wouldn’t treat me the same if u knew i was seeing other people Me: i was treating u the exact same before u said all that? When u came to visit me i still paid for everything, u really didn’t have reason to lie Him: sighs
Me: what do u expect me to do now? Him: idk i guess u can see other people too(?)
Me: i didn’t mind paying for u if u were seeing other people n honest about it but dnt want to pay for someone who goes out of their way to lie to me for no reason (i p much never get pissed ab anything as long as it’s honest so there’s really no reason to lie which is why i cnt stand when people lie to me) Him: i understand
Me: did u at least use protection with other people (he told me he was clean and wasn’t seeing other people so i agreed to not using protection since i was on birth control anyway) Him: yes u can get tested if u want (i did and turns out he was lying i came home with a nasty std, I haven’t slept with anyone else in about a year)
After the long conversation we went to sleep and he noticed i was still crying so he hugged me and said “i dnt want u to cry talk to me” so i started saying how idk how to feel or what to do it’s just too much to process that he would do this bec i trusted him so much even when I didn’t want to but he rolled his eyes in the middle of my sentence which ticked me off so i turned away and was like “no dont turn away” to which I said “when im not talking u have an issue, when im talking u have an issue, what do u want?” This was the first time i dropped my calm in from of him and picked up an actually annoyed tone, which seemed to set something off in his head and he just blew up at me like YELLING about how im the one making a big deal out of everything and im the one who keeps turning away and refusing to talk to him etc and then he got up from the bed and punched the wall REALLY hard so i grabbed both his hands and sat him down on the bed and told him to shut up and calm down bec he was gonna get hurt if he keeps punching shit. He already hurt his hand p bad and he just held his hand to his chest and i could tell he was trying to hold in screams bec he was so much in pain. I called room service to bring ice and went downstairs to get him a painkiller. He finally calmed down and fell asleep. The next day he didn’t talk to me for 8 hours, didn’t go out or anything, we just sat there in the hotel room in silence, whenever i tried to bring up anything he just shrugged and continued to not say a word, Finally we both got hungry and went to get dinner after which we got drinks, once we got a little buzzed he started talking to me again and told me he got triggered bec i yelled at him (I didn’t yell but i did get annoyed so i got what he meant) and i apologised.
We were fine for the rest of the day and the next day and the night after that we finally flew back home.
He asked me to transfer him the money for his credit card and i asked him how much it was. The number he gave me was ridiculously higher than the number i had on my spreadsheet (since i made the bookings i even had the receipts) so i showed him saying these were the numbers that I had and he said “no but this is what my card got charged” and he sent me his own spreadsheet that me made (v poorly made no dates or anything, there were even some amounts without descriptions) so i said ok this isn’t helpful, just send me the credit card statement and i’ll see what went wrong in my calculations and he has been making dumb excuses for the last 2 weeks every time i ask him to send the statement like “there’s other payments too on the statement so u might get confused” (as if idk how to read??) or “oh i’ll send it when i open the credit card website next” but he keeps asking me to send him the money like constantly. Another thing that’s weird to me is that he completely disregarded the part where I told him I would only be paying for my half of the trip bec of him lying to me, which I already gave him more than half in cash in the beginning of the trip. Thirdly, not only does he want me to pay full he is also disregarding the money i gave him in cash bec he “spent it on the trip so it didn’t go towards the credit card payment” which I never agreed to give him spending money, that’s supposed to be on him, I brought my own spending money separately so it wasn’t even like he had to pay for both of us.
So basically, he wants me to pay for the whole credit card bill (which he won’t send me the statement for) on top of what i gave him in cash which was more than half of the number HE is giving me (and close to 80% of the number I have) ALL AFTER he lied to me, tried to make me pay for him going to meet another girl in a different country, yelled at me, punched a wall and made ME apologise.
The amount he’s asking for is big and I know he’s unemployed and if that’s the actual number, he definitely can’t pay it. While i can afford it (just barely after everything I already paid for including previous trips, flights for this trip and the money i gave him in cash) i did already tell him I would only be paying for my half (which i already did) and he agreed at the time, and i’m still extremely hurt and angry about all the lies and the drama. If he sent me the credit card statement I would still help him a little bit but he even refuses to do that. He hasn’t talked about anything else except asking me to send him the money for the past few days. I was going to cut him off after I paid him but he’s being kind of not cool about it and it’s not like i just have the money lying around. So would I be the asshole if I just ghosted him with his credit card debt that i know he can’t pay?
Also want to add: i keep mentioning his unemployment bec until February i was helping him improve his resume, prepare for interviews etc (I’m studying HR and recruitment) but after this trip he told me he is not even looking for a job bec if he got a job he “wouldn’t be able to travel as much” which pissed me off more bec im working my ass off to afford all this.

In 2010, I was facing felony charges for distribution of drugs. I was a drug addict. Hook line and sinker. But never admitted that to myself. My drug of choice? Anything I could get my hands on. Cocaine, ecstasy, weed, Xanax, Oxycontin, ciggys, alcohol, ativan, seroquil, spice, mushrooms.. You name it.
Desperately wanting to avoid prison time, I did whatever I could to turn my life around. The potential pain in carrying on was too great to tolerate. This was my rock bottom.
I enrolled in college, started working out every day, got rid of any "friends" that wanted to continue that lifestyle.
And quitting my daily drug use?
It wasn't a factor. I was too scared. I was willing to do anything to escape my prison sentence so I dropped them all without looking back. I was lucky. Lucky I had hit rock bottom. Lucky that everything collapsed around me. I needed a push and this was it.
Apparently the judge saw that I was making real change and I was able to avoid prison. I was slapped with a couple of felonies, fines, and drug and rehab classes.
Having felonies on my record was hard. I couldn't get a decent job. Even Walmart was excited to hire me, but then rejected me because of my record. I knew that I had turned a new leaf. I just needed someone to see that I was changed now.
Luckily, I found a family that needed help with their special needs kid.
I worked for them for long enough to get my felonies reduced and expunged off my record.
When hard drugs turn into soft drugs.
I thought I was "drug free" because I had stopped all illegal drugs. But soon I found myself consuming copious amounts of caffeine in order to lose weight and get "Jacked". You see, I found a passion for natural bodybuilding and Jiu-Jitsu around 2011.
I consumed endless content on how to lose body fat so I could finally get a six pack. A lot of YouTubers at the time were promoting pre-workouts like Jack3d. Which also had another stimulant called 1,3 dimethylamylamine - or DMAA. Which was banned after it had become known to be problematic.
So there I was, taking Jack3d, working out, and trying to figure out how to get a six pack. I hired the same coaches that my favorite YouTuber Matt Ogus had. 3DMuscleJourney. I got very serious with Diet and training.
When I started with 3DMuscleJourney in 2012, I had been working out for a solid year. I had gotten down to 195lbs from 215. Not a huge difference. And I had put on a good amount of Muscle in that time.
3DMuscleJourney taught me and guided me on how to train effectively while dieting and how to diet efficiently by tracking macros. But my preworkout and caffeine use had spiked up 1,500mg a day. I used caffeine as a substitute for food. After 12 weeks, I was down to 160lbs.
I was fit by any person's definition. My new found glory would soon collapse as my caffeine and DMAA use caught up to me. I started having bad shoulder pain, my joints were achy and cracky, popping every time I moved. I started stretching and doing mobility exercises but the pain in my body only got worse. I was unable to sleep. I would have fits of rage followed by lows of doubt and depression.
Then, I broke. I was no longer able to exercise because of the pain. I started eating more to see if it would help my joints. I quickly gained 30lbs. Probably within only a few weeks. I ended my coaching and started to slip back towards the abyss
That's when I figured out that caffeine and DMAA were both a huge problem.
I had been consuming caffeine my whole life. But never thought twice about it. It was a legal substance that a kid could go buy in a vending machine. How bad could it be? Broken, I decided to quit.
I was quickly able to cut out DMAA. But every attempt at quitting caffeine left me in so much pain that I would quickly rationalize going back to it. I never made it past two weeks.
Why was this harder than quitting all of those harder drugs?
I guess decades of using a softer drug still carves out some pretty steep ravines in your reward pathway. Caffeine was my last vice. Or so I thought..
I read the book "Caffeine Blues". This book explained that caffeine is not healthy in any way. It is a stimulant that causes your body to break down over time just like any drug. The book outlined some of the negatives associated with caffeine.

• Poor sleep, even if you didn't consume caffeine close to bedtime
• Joint pain from increased muscle tension.
• Poor vitamin and mineral absorption.
• Energy crashes and mood swings.
• Irritability.
• Psychosis.
• Masking negatives of caffeine with drugs and alcohol.

The list goes on. This was crazy. The book recommended tapering off of caffeine. While I was able to wean down to 300-600 most days. I couldn't get myself to fully commit. I started to look for some help.
Maybe I needed something to give me energy and focus while I quit?
I started to look at "Nootropics" to help me focus. I tried a large variety of them.

• Noopept
• Modafinil
• Piracetam
• Aniracetam
• L-Theanine
• Phenibu
• Kratom
• Nicotine
• A large variety of other supplements.

Non of this helped me quit caffeine. I soon realized that these legal "Performance enhancers" were just drugs. With their own highs and lows. And negative effects over time. I ended up quitting all of this after a year.
It was back to the drawing board.
Around the end of 2015, I ended up doing a 3 month or so long caffeine taper. Using caffeine powder and a mg scale I bought off Amazon. The plan was slow and steady. 1-2mg per day. I didn't want to notice my caffeine levels were dropping. After about a month under 25mg, I started feeling great.
My joints felt great, Arizona heat was more comfortable, I craved healthy food and exercise, I slept like a baby, the list goes on. I had raised my testosterone levels from 320ng/dL to 575ng/dL.
But then, just as I finally let go of caffeine. There was a surprise. A curve ball that would change my life forever.
The boy who lived...
My first child was to be born. The 24 hours in the hospital was an introduction to the lack of sleep I would face over the next few years. I caved..
One or two cups of coffee later, my son was born, and a new cycle of baby wake me up > being tired > caffeine to get me through the day > poor quality sleep > baby wake me up had begun.
I got got even more dependent on caffeine. I could no longer just take a nap whenever I wanted. I was a mess. Feeling like shit, with high stress, I also started drinking alcohol and smoking weed again. My testosterone levels plummeted down to 275ng/dL.
Great move dad..
I wanted to get healthy again. I started reading books about health, nutrition, meditation, etc. I wanted to attack this problem from multiple angles. I started eating a plant-based diet, meditating, exercising, taking ice baths, etc. I quit alcohol and weed again. Tapering my caffeine down below 100mg again.
I was starting to feel better. Even got my testosterone levels all the way up to 575ng/D
The girl who lived..
Sorry about the Harry Potter references...
Just when I thought it was over, another curve ball to my health goals. Something that would start the lack of sleep cycle all over again.
You guessed it.. another child! This time, there was a baby girl in my house. This new baby came with new challenges. Our daughter was born with cataracts. She had to have surgery at around 3 months old to get them removed. So not only did we have to deal with the lack of sleep stress again, and boy did she excel in that area, we had to deal with putting contacts in a baby...
Imagine a grown man squeezing their fist closed. And you have to delicately open up their fist, and place a sticky note on their palm without bending the paper. And the grown man is also having a seizure at the same time. Also, you haven't slept a quality night of sleep for weeks.
Needless to say, but I'm going to say it, our stress levels shot through the roof. We had new worries and fears about our daughter's condition and the caffeine cycle ramped back up again. All while trying to focus on my new career in IT and raising our other child.
Testosterone Replacement Therapy
I think sometime early 2023, a friend told me he was on Testosterone replacement therapy (TRT). I knew my low test levels were due to stress, caffeine use, lack of sleep, belly fat, poor eating habits, etc. But I was desperate for some edge that would help me finally quit caffeine and get healthy again.
I thought, if I can use Testosterone to help me get healthy, then I can get off of it later and not suffer any consequences.
Boy was I wrong
TRT did give me more drive and gusto to get stuff done. It also made me work harder than my body wanted. I started getting more back pain from harder weightlifting session, I actually started doing more caffeine, and even weed again. I was like 6 years clean from weed at this point.
This made me over confident. Like I could handle anything, which led to poor decisions. I felt like a horny teenager and it made it hard to focus. I started masturbating furiously..
After 4 months stabbing myself in the ass, and draining my life essence, I decided to quit TRT cold turkey. I knew this wasn't what I needed.
Withdrawals from TRT were bearable. I had waves of depression, lack of energy, etc. But I got through it. I'll probably get my levels tested again soon. As I write this, I have been off of TRT for 12 months now.
I leaned more heavily on caffeine while I was coming off of TRT. My current levels are around 400mg per day. But tapering off is my primary focus. Or maybe I should try cold turkey again? Not sure how I can afford to be a useless zombie for weeks while I have a full time job and 2 kids to look after.
"Semen retention" and NoFap
For years, I had made half ass attempts at doing No Fap and quitting porn. The benefits claimed by people who have tried it are:

• Increased energy
• Vigor
• Willpower
• Can function on less sleep
• Increased confidenc
• Better focus and concentration
• Muscle growth
• Increased Libido

I started to read some books about the topic. This big two were "Your Brain on Porn" and "Cupid's Poisoned Arrow". These books took a more Science-based approach. There were also a couple books that were a little off tilt such as "Bliss of the Celibate" and "Why You Should Never Masturbate". These books included a lot of hokey about chakras and religion.
I never made it passed two weeks.
After TRT, I decided to give it a real go. NoFap/ Semen retention felt like my final try at getting an "edge". I lasted over a month. Just around the 3 week mark, I had felt the same benefits of TRT without all of the negatives. I also learned, that you have to be all in.
Any sexual thoughts had to be banished. Just think of something else. If you entertain lust at all, you will fail. Stay off social media where you may run into soft porn, which can start the spiral that leads you to porn, etc.
I was able to control my caffeine intake finally, my sleep was better, my wife was more attracted to me, I was more patient with the kids. I finally found the answer.
But then, I relapsed. And lost sight of the benefits. I had forgotten.
Slowly everything started slipping again. With small nofap stints here and there never lasting more than two weeks.
As I write this, I am realizing that caffeine was never my problem. It was a symptom of something else. I am currently on day 6 of retention and have made it my number one priority again. I need to remember this. I need my edge back.
The journey continues..
Life is full of ups and downs. And decisions you make (good or bad) compound over time. I know all of the positive effort, and commitment to personal development has paid off over time. Even though it may have been slower than I had hoped.
This story leaves out a lot. But I'd love to have a conversation with anyone who has had similar struggles. I have been going at this alone. I can only imagine how much more growth there can be surrounding yourself with like-minded individual
Ta Ta for Now.

What’s the best way to ensure you get a raise when you ask?
I’ve never had a raise but I am constantly told I’m doing an awesome job at my work. Soon a colleague of mine is leaving and I’ve been told I’ll be picking up the jobs she was doing as well as continuing my own. I want to ask for a raise but I want to make sure they say yes! How should I go about this?

Hi all, I’m a recently-ish administered clinical psychologist. I don’t want to trauma dump, but I feel this is relevant to my problem, so I will try to keep it brief. I’m a survivor of extreme childhood abuse of all kinds including long-term sex trafficking and torture. I also used to live in a developing country where violent crime and other related problems were quite prominent, so I’ve witnessed things like someone being beheaded, which are unheard of in the country (one of the safest in the world) I live in now.
My transition into adulthood was rough and I certainly blew my life up many times as I struggled to find connection/my place in society after being isolated/abused for so long. It took many, many years of therapy to become a more functional person, and I went into psychology to ‘pay it forward’ as I wouldn’t be where I am today if it weren’t for the psychologists and counsellors I’ve had over the years. Due to my experiences and severe mental health struggles, my main area of interest is complex trauma.
However, the thing I’m struggling with is that whilst I empathise with my clients, I don’t tend to find anything ‘shocking’ or ‘heavy’. It’s like, I just don’t find anything ‘surprising,’ as I’m well-aware of what humans can be capable. I feel for my clients, I really do, but it’s more from the angle of the human condition rather than the content of the experiences, if that makes sense. When people ask me how I can do the job that I do and not be burdened by stories of human suffering, I don’t know what to say, but I feel terrible. I wonder if there’s something I’m missing, whether I think I’m being empathetic but possibly am actually not.
I’ve spoken to my supervisor about it, and he doesn’t seem to think it’s an issue. He’s likened it to how if therapists deal with their own suicidality, then client suicidality isn’t so confronting either. We’ve also discussed how a lot of psychologists that deal with trauma and abuse cases burn out, but that maybe because of my experiences I’ll just be more resistant to burning out. We’ve also discussed that it could be due to the varying grades of dissociation I experience, and that maybe the ‘mild’ manifestations are helpful in these circumstances for separating my personal life/work. But I just don’t know… I’m worried there’s something I’m meant to give to my clients that I’m missing.
Conversely, the most helpful clinician I personally had was one assigned to me at a specialist treatment centre for refugees, torture and trafficking survivors, and who really encouraged me to share as they never found my case ‘too heavy.’ So maybe there’s something like that at play, I just have no idea.
So yeah, I don’t know whether my supervisor is right or wrong and would really appreciate some outside perspectives. My worries about this have been so strong that I’m considering quitting complex trauma, working on my neuropsychology endorsement and just moving into assessments/interventions instead.
Thanks and apologies for length

Pri’Darya, Alcoranth Male, Pirate Captain
Oh where did it all go wrong? Me crew is dead, and my boy was brutally murdered.
In this void of sensation, I am only left with my thoughts. That stun baton has completely paralyzed me, and I know I’m being taken to a cryopod for holding, so I may as well dwell on my thoughts.
Was it taking the job where we messed up? No, I don’t think so. It was probably the bait. It worked too well. We caught too big of a Trorish.
I sigh internally as I can feel them lifting me up somewhere.
And we had such a good plan too. Well it wasn’t my plan, it was my boy’s plan. To send out a drone ship with a fake weapon system as a decoy so we can sneak up on them, it worked so well that they actually thought it was us.
I can feel them placing me down on a soft platform as a shadow seems to begin looming over me.
That Altrin girl could have gone for a pretty credit if we got her, but what the hells was that rifle she was using? I thought a fully automatic BYR was impossible due to the recoil and explosive payloads. But that white… whatever she was… She is completely terrifying. I thought she would just sell for a lot more since she kept her fur in good condition, so I thought she was just an assistant to that Altrin girl. Never in me life, would I expect a pretty girl like that to be so… terrifyingly deadly.
The air begins to turn cold.
Ah, I’m out of time to think… At least wherever I end up, I hope I don’t see that white furred girl again.
Cerelia, Altrin Female, Captain of The Opal Star
I sigh as we finish escorting the remaining crew to their quarters or work quarters, taking in consideration to take longer routes around the ship to avoid bodies that we haven’t had time to clean up yet. There were a few crewmembers we had to either escort back to their work areas or to communal areas due to bodies that we couldn’t avoid.
It’s going to be a long few days…
My attention is grabbed by my wrist data pad as I get a call from Triwt.
“Hey, Triwt, how are things going on your end?” I ask with a tiredness in my voice as I’ve been awake for roughly 13 or so hours now.
“Well, we’ve managed to move the majority of the bodies. Galactic Law doesn’t allow for spacing bodies.”
“It would be an easier clean up if we could.”
“Yes, but we still have to obey the law.”
We both sigh at the same time while I use my other hand to rub my face, trying to make my exhaustion go away with such a pointless attempt.
“Right, right…” I sigh again before continuing to speak, “Anyways, I’m setting up an autopilot course to take us to Verglas.”
“Verglas?”
“Yeah, sending you the information now.”
There’s a moment of silence from Triwt before she speaks, “You’re kidding me, right?”
“I wish I was.”
“An ice covered planet?
“Mhm.”
“Known to snow almost all the time?”
“Yes, but the cities and spaceport are built around a natural heat signature.”
“... You’re lucky I have a snow coat and that I have fur, but my fur isn’t really good at keeping out the cold.”
I hear her sigh on her end before I chime in.
“Wanna go meet up at Med Bay 07? Check in on Jordan?”
“Jordan? My my, Captain I didn’t know you were interested in him where you're already shortening his name.”
“It’s not like that! He said it was weird to hear everyone saying his ‘full name’ and prefers being called by his ‘first name’.” I huff in slight annoyance and embarrassment.
“Ah okay, does that mean we should all refer to him as Jordan then?”
“I believe so if that’s what he wishes.”
I mean I felt special when he wanted me to call him Jordan, but oh well.
“Okay, I’ll see you there, Cerelia.”

I slowly walk down the hall. It’s been quarantined due to the fact that there’s still blood and bullets on the walls and floor of the corridor. It seems that the trail of blood from Jordan has gone from red to more of a brownish black color.
I look up at a sign in the hallway that reads, “MEDICAL ROOM 07” which I smirk a little.
I always find it funny that despite it being a medical room, everyone calls it a Med Bay. I wonder where that name for it came from.
“Hey Triwt, I’m here-” I cut myself off as before me in the room is Triwt, Lys, and every crew member from the compromised safe room. Well all except for R’dorn.
I’m glad that prick isn’t here, but I wasn’t expecting everyone else to be here.
“Oh uh, hey everyone. Are we all here to see, Jordan Cores?”
Lys nods and speaks up, “Yes, and Triwt did inform us about his name preference. It’s a little bit weird, but we can do it if it’s what he wishes.”
I admit, I was almost a little bit annoyed that others were calling him Jordan now, but I have to let that emotion go for now as I’m here to see how he’s recovering, not to try and be an overprotective mother. I nod and walk over to the stasis regeneration tube as I look inside.
Part of me is glad that his arms and hands have already been fixed, but…
Not everything is going to be truly healed 100%.
I think to myself as I can see the formations of scars on his skin tissue. I noticed it the first time, but I don’t think he noticed it himself when he woke up after his first big injury. His wrists and knuckles are the most scarred, due to probably when he was punching that orange Alcoranth, but his wrists are from when he broke out of his restraints when we first found him.
Not the best memory to think back on… It hasn’t even been a full day yet. Oh, and where is Jordan going to sleep?
I then slowly bring myself to look at his face, which is almost finished healing. There’s a scar on his chin and a scar leading to under his right ear where the shot left his head. It’s not a major scar except for the entrance and exit wounds, but it’s still somewhat noticeable. If anything the white tissue of the scars make it stand out against his [tan] skin.
If only we had some higher grade Stasis Regeneration Tubes, maybe we could heal those scars as well… All we can do now is wait…
Jordan Cores, Human Male, Part-Time Security Worker
I take in a deep breath, gasping for air as I sit straight up in a cold sweat, holding onto my face and chest. My heart beats quickly and I sit there panting. I quickly check myself to make sure I’m not missing any body parts or anything.
“That is not an okay feeling!” I say aloud before shuddering.
It’s hard to describe how it feels to be in pain, everything slightly red in my vision, I was hearing my own heart thumping in my chest all the while I couldn’t hear out of my right ear, and then in the blink of an eye everything is fine, there’s no more pain just the sensation that something is missing while sitting on a bed of some sort surrounded by aliens.
Oh right the aliens.
OH RIGHT THE ALIENS
I turn my head and look around me, and while I’m a little panicked, I’m able to calm down as most of them are sitting further back or standing near the walls. The only ones closer to me are Lys, Cerelia, and I think the white snake lady is Triwt if I remember correctly.
“Um… good morning?” I ask nervously as I look around the room. “Is it even morning?”
“No, it’s technically the middle of the night, Jordan.” Cerelia says as she puts her paw on my head and rubs my hair like my parents used to when I was younger. “But, we all wanted to be sure you would be fine when waking up and it would be cruel to leave you alone when waking up. That, and these crewmembers wanted to express their thanks for protecting them. Though, hopefully next time it won’t be such a violent display.”
“S-Sorry, I wasn’t really thinking when that happened.”
“To be fair you were shot in the head. I think they were more scared that you seemingly came back to life.”
“Y-Yeah… Uh, if it’s okay, can I maybe say hi to them then?” I ask, peering around her shoulder to look at the other crew members. She nods and steps to the side as a line forms of aliens who want to speak to me.

I never expected to spend the next 20 minutes receiving thanks from complete strangers, aliens nonetheless, but it was still nice. I also apologized if I potentially scared them for what they saw me do.
Also aliens apparently hug. A lot.
That would probably explain why Cerelia was petting my head as well…
The last person I expected to approach me was Triwt.
She slithered up to me and offered me one of her four hands, which I accepted, gently shaking it before she pulled me into a hug like the last 13 people did. After a few seconds she lets me go.
“Jordan, since you will probably be with us for a while, could I potentially offer you a job while you are on this ship?”
“H-Huh? A job?”
Triwt, Female Valis-Trobat Hybrid, Security Commander
I try to stay focused on giving Jordan this job offer, but something is really distracting me, especially with our upcoming destination of Verglas.
Goddess, he is super warm…
And that is Chapter 10! I know it's probably a bit more on the boring side, but it's to try and set up our trip to Verglas (which is a thin coating of ice on a rock. Ice Rock. Ice Planet)! I really liked the suggestions of an ice planet so thats where we're heading. Major Cities and spaceports are built on natural heat signatures which cause a lot of natural hot springs (ooo fun!). Also for our theorizers, no, Pri'Darya will not be recurring, I just wanted to give him a name and their side of things in the aftermath.
Also it's time for Jordan to finally get a job! It hasn't been a full day and Triwt wants him on her team! This also means I can have an excuse for him to be around Lys and Cerelia more often. That being said, does Jordan get his own room, or does he have to bunkbed with somebody?
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Mark as you can tell the situation at work has been growing increasingly more tense day by day. You have expressed concern with my performance, I have been making attempts to improve. Yet I see a lack of concern with the issues I have expressed to you. At the moment of writing this latter I have been operating for 2 months with Frank and Devin as members of my WR team. I have expressed concern about having Mike taken away from WR before this has become “the norm”. As you know he is a valuable team member due to the knowledge he accumulated from working with the company for a long period of time. I found it acceptable for Jack to barrow him on an occasion for help when needed (now I understand that perhaps I have been way to linnet when it comes to this). You have expressed that there were days when you had only 3 team members (perhaps you were including yourself in the count). I can see how complaining about a lack of team members for 2-4 days can seem childish, 1 week can be written off as an unfortunate set of circumstances (maybe there is an audit coming up, maybe a higher up visitor from the company). At 2 weeks this begins to raise some concern (perhaps the buys season is upon us and we are training up new team members that we just hired). 3 weeks a MONTH is getting very frustrating (at this point all kinds of explanations are rapidly deteriorating). One would begin to ask himself “why has this been happening for so long?” or “Am I being taken advantage off”. I see the XDock team expand, I see yours and Bella’s team expand, but there isn’t even a whisper of my team expanding or even returning to the usual size. I have been working as a Supervisor and a Bagger with no compensation for the fact that I am preforming a job 2 people. It is only now that my base pay has risen 10 cents above what is offered to new team members who join with no experience. There are people on 1st shift making 22.50$/hr. Working 3rd shift should have a significantly larger compensation (working 3rd is unnatural, not only dose it derail a person’s day to day life, but it is also more stressful). You wouldn’t want nor be able to work 3rd shift. (As a man with a family) At the same time whilst I’m down a team member you have made strides to expand my responsibility as a supervisor (I understand where you are coming from, the buys season is here, the workload for everyone has expanded, you are not able to complete tasks leftover by me or anyone else) But I believe that the timing of this is wrong, you should not have thrown more responsibly on me as a supervisor while I’m already doing the workload of 2 people for a prolonged period of time. I would like to remind you that unlike Bella or Tim I didn’t spend 1-2 weeks shadowing a person in this position. I was thrusted into working as Supervisor with no prior training. You have taken time to show me how to bill out SunSets, kick out an empty flatbed, call in a compactor exchange etc… But learning a task is better done in person (what I mean is this should be done when I can see it happen, not a hypothetical scenario of billing out a flatbed which I never see picked up, I see what I’m supposed to do on my end but I can’t tell if it is done correctly because I have no interaction with a person on the other end) All the tasks like billing out a partial pallet or Dock 69/72, which involve using AniTa(which is outdated and not intuitive program) should be in a binder as a step by step guide for a new or existing supervisors as a reference point .(Like we have done with Sunset, and PRA allocations). I feel that there is a lack of understanding when it comes to expectations. I am held to the same standards as 1st and 2nd shift whilst having a considerably worse team and less resources. What I mean by less resources? I am not completely sure how accurate my information is, but during 3rd shift the number of departments that are operational is cut in half, I believe that there is us the WR, Xdock, Block and Bagging. For a long period of time, we didn’t have a maintenance team (now that we have CJ it is better, but there are still nights when we have issues and he is nowhere to be found, you can ask Scott from bagging about this). We didn’t have a Yard horse driver until recently (although we do have one now, the WR is always last on his priority list, there have been nights where move on a Sunset has been put in before I even got here and wasn’t touched all night) In general, there is a feeling that WR is not important in comparison to other areas on the plant. We are the ones who have to give up the things that we have to others, be it team members, lifts, access to assistance from maintenance team, we always seem to come last. What I mean by a considerably worse team? Me and you had a conversation about this outside couple of months ago. I believe I used an expression “I am given everyone’s bad Appels but expected to make orange juice” I believe you laughed when I said that maybe you didn’t understand what I meant. First Mike while he is useful and knowledgeable when it comes to Bagging, he is very difficult to work with. He has gone from one site to another because of that reason. He drags his feet when asked to do something, or avoids doing it all together, or assigns other team members to do the tasks for him. He leaves the plant without letting me know to complete other tasks instead of cleaning. Recently with him coming to stay 10:30pm-12:00am to join his brother outside he has gotten even worse. He will come and spent 30 minutes talking to Devin then to Rob then to other team members, he might complete 1 bagging load. When asked to do anything else he takes a 10-minute break by that time it is already 11:40pm and he leaves. (At this point I would rather not have him here; he would be way more useful if he was outside taking mulch pallets left by 2nd shift or Clamp Hand Staking on Xdock). Second Frank. We had many conversations about him and his performance. To give you credit you have been very tolerant of him and when asked you did help(example being the new cameras, potential improvement coming to the Pallet Sorter). I have spoken to you about him falling asleep for 2-5 seconds at a time. I believe that I have told you that he expressed to me that he is suffering from Narcolepsy (A chronic sleep disorder that causes overwhelming drowsiness). We have already seen consciences of that. Most of his accidents involving the Forklift were caused by it. There were multiple times when he has been kicked of the lift for weeks on Xdock. I see this as a very dangerous situation not only for him but the safety of other team members, yet I have not seen any attempts to get this addressed. (He could fall asleep, fall down and hit his head on something) He has been sleeping before heading home as a safety measure to prevent himself from getting into an accident (I believe that’s why he had issues with his previous vehicle and doesn’t wish the same thing to happen to his new one). Devin. I am satisfied with him. He has good communication skills; he completes the tasks assigned to him in a reasonable amount of time. He has expressed to me that he is looking for other jobs (more in the tech sector to match his education). We have been fortunate that he hasn’t left us yet. I have been doing my very best to teach him how to preform different tasks, but I strongly believe that we are starting to push him too far. Now that we don’t have Mike and I have to run the bagging plant. Devin had to step up to pallet sorting during Franks lunch everyday (previously we had a rotation between me, Mike and, Devin). He has been a very good team member but I believe that he had picked up some bad habits primarily from Mike . Recently when I asked him to give me a hand with a clan up in bagging he has avoided coming, and began taking breaks to postpone it until I had no choice to do it all alone (whilst I might have been upset with him at the moment I understood that he has already been doing a lot) Backhallers. They are not backhallers they are Xdock team members which Jack uses to do backhalls. They might complete 4-6 backhalls in a given amount of time, but if Jack needs them for something else they have to do the work he assigns them (because there is an understating that Xdock work is more important). When I ask them to do something they don’t take me seriously unlike you and Bella I have almost no authority over them. If I ask them complete a task and Jack askes them to do something else they have to listen to him as his authority supersedes my (same if you asked me to do something nut if Neel asked me to do something else I would have to listen to him). Between running the bagger and keeping an eye on Frank and Devin and doing the clean up I have no time to watch over them, I have no way of reprimanding them if they do something wrong, but yet I am held accountable for the actions of people I have no power to influence. I can see how I can come off aggressive in this letter, but I am trying to communicate my frustrations with the current state of affairs. This is not an attack on you mark. The only reason I haven’t walked away from this, is out of my respect for you and understanding how difficult of a situation I would be putting the WR plant in. I often find myself asking one question. Why did you make me a supervisor and not someone else? (As I recall Mike was offered this position too). Maybe you chose me because of my good work at the Pallet Sorter, maybe because of my communication skills. But now I find myself pulled by the thought that in me you saw an individual who would do more for less, a sucker who is fine getting pushed around and will do more than what he is getting paid for. Perhaps I am wrong to think in this manner, but as time goes on and I see no attempts to improve this situation I grow increasing more frustrated.

I am almost in the role for three months now and already feeling burnt out. I’m not sure if it’s that my store is one of those stores that’s particularly bad or disorganized or if it’s just how the role is.
Typically I am able to start HR work and get all reports and payroll done. After that, I am usually given no time to do anything else. At some point very early into my shift, I am called for reshop, OPU (which I don’t mind), or backstock. Usually it’s all three in one day. This leaves me no time to clean the break room or TSC, facilitate appreciation events, or even get the calendar out on time (we’ve been a week late every month since before I started working there). In this time that I am doing other jobs, my ETL is giving me her work and putting most of her responsibilities on me. Training is a big one. No TLs or ETLs really help get their team to do trainings and half of them don’t do their trainings anyway. l
I know people get pulled all the time to help out but it feels like I have no time to do what I was hired for with more work piled on. I wouldn’t mind helping either, it’s just the idea of the role I was presented is completely different than what I do.

Hi. I am a fresh graduate looking for a job. The first interview went by smoothly with the company's HR, then I was scheduled a second interview in a company days after that. They scheduled me an interview with the manager at 9:00AM. I got there 8:30AM because I don't want to be late. Then an employee guided us to a waiting area and by 9:15 AM, HR checked my attendance and told us to wait (there are also other applicants, but different positions) so I waited. Almost 1 hour later, HR told us that manager cannot make it, so the interview will be conducted online in the office and told us to wait, AGAIN. Then I started to get bored, even the other applicants. I told myself if another hour passes, I will leave since I still have other important errands to do. I did plan to dedicate my time for the interview because I expected that it will start based on their set time just like my first interview, but NO.
Then 11:00 AM strikes (2 hours passed), and no updates about the interview. I stood up and left the office without notifying HR because they are located in an office that only employees can enter. Then about 30 minutes later, while I am on a bus on my way to somewhere else, I missed a call from them (my phone is always on silent, not even vibrate). Then I sent them a message saying I am sorry for leaving (because of their delay) and asked if they can just reschedule my interview. I haven't received a reply as of now. I don't know if they will, though.
So am I wrong for leaving? I am still inexperienced with job interviews, so I feel guilty for not waiting long enough even though the interview was supposed to start 2 hours ago.

I’m two weeks away from my move to Fairbanks. I’m a truck driver and have a job lined up with an old buddy of mine who is an owner operator with 2 tractors. He’s been driving the Dalton highway for 30 years and does it safely. We will be teaming together for the summer while I learn the road and he teaches me the ropes. Then we will convoy together during the winter. I’m not fearful because I’m in good hands here. The money is going to be really good.
I’m a healthy mid 30s guy. Very fit and active. My wife and 2 kids are staying in the lower 48 until I make it through my first winter. I don’t want to uproot them, and my wife doesn’t want to be uprooted, until we know I can make it working in those conditions. My wife is a stay at home mom and homeschools our kids. We stay involved in our local church and do our best to be sociable. We’ve been raising our kids with very limited technology because we observed early on how too much screen time causes them to be emotionally disregulated. This means they spend a lot of time outside playing, or inside playing with legos and barbies.
I’m going to do everything in my power to make it through the winter. I’ve taken care to make sure i have no vitamin deficiencies. My vitamin D is good, and I supplement daily. I have some UV lights I will be using once the sun disappears. I keep weights in my truck and stay fit despite all the long days.
Our reasons for picking Alaska is mostly to do with their laws. My wife and I had a very bad time riding out the pandemic in an authoritarian third world country. After that experience we are keen to live somewhere that will leave us alone as much as possible. We are intimidated by the weather. All that being said, my salary will be large enough that we should be able to afford all the toys you need to truly experience what Alaska has to offer. We’ve talked about it at great length and would end up looking for a property in the hills outside fairbanks, high enough so its above the fairbanks inversion layer that makes life so miserable during the winter. Our current house is offgrid, so it isnt anything new. Just the climate is much harsher.
Any locals have any advice, or have any thoughts that jump out at you from my post?

For context, my girlfriend (25F) and I (30M) have been dating for 3 years now. We are both from a lower middle class family and grew up in a religious country that english is not our first language. She graduated from the university 2 years ago with a degree in Psychology and I have a stable job working in Finance. She is compassionate, smart and soft spoken. I honestly see my future with her. She is the most beautiful human being l've ever seen and she is purely good. All of my friends love her and my family adores her. The only problem is she's been having a hard time trying to start pursuing her dreams. She talks big about finding a job, pursuing all her dreams, buying a home and raising a family but I don't see her taking the necessarily steps to achieve it. I'm trying my best to support her by encouraging her to apply for jobs at any company just to get a feel on what will the interview be like, she refused. I also tried to help her draft interview questions and answers, she refused to let me see her drafted answers. I offered to do a mock interview with her but she refused saying that I will just make her laugh and she'll get distracted. I also tried by showing her, I applied for a promotion and she was with me when I did the online interview, got the promotion but sadly that didn't help motivate or boost her confidence. I tried showing her agair that there is nothing to be afraid in a job interview so l decide to apply for a job in an another company, I got accepted and went through all the new hire process, but sadly it didn't help her. It gotten to the point that whenever I try to ask her about this issue or basically ask her what can I do to help, we just end up fighting and not speaking for days. I really don't know what to do. I am running out of options. I can't ask my friends or family for advice, I don't want them thinking less of her. I know that she is in a lot of pressure and she might be overthinking everything causing her to have anxiety over the interview or job seeking process. I just want to know if there is any other ways to help her overcome this.

FIRST off let me say it was his idea to share locations to begin with. We’ve been having a lot of issues lately regarding not spending time together. He is always working 4 am- 10 am then 10 am-5pm & lately he’s spending a lot of times at his moms house. I work a full time Job and never have any time to myself I’m always taking care of the kids I do 95 percent of everything for them. While cleaning the house. He does the cooking or he buys the food if we eat out. I feel like we spend no time together on top of feeling like I have no life. The other night he left work early and our dog had to get a rabies vaccine. He had time to stop home before tending to his grandma but I still had to take an extra long lunch break to take the dog to get it done. Even though technically it’s his dog I told him I didn’t want a dog but I take more care of it then he does. So anyway besides the point. The other night he was at his moms I could see his location and he said he wouldn’t be long. He ended up running errands for her at 11 o’clock at night . And I could see it from his location. I was pissed and confronted him about why why never spend time together and he could do that for her but can’t help me out with HIS dog or spend time with me. He turned it off that night and hasn’t turned it back on since. I finally decided to ask him what’s up. We’ve shared it for 5 years and you just turn it off now. Saturday night he spent the whole night out and didn’t come home. I did confirm where he was but I was up all night and couldn’t sleep. And that’s not something he typically does. It would’ve saved me a nights sleep if I had the location since he stopped communicating with me. I asked him about the location and this is how the convo went. I really need input and another perspective about this.
I called him on the phone to ask him then his phone died so he text me back
Him : Babe do as you please. My location settings is off which means I can’t see your location anyhow. When I turn it back on you can see mine.
Me : I know that babe but why do you turn it off ? You either want to share or you don’t. That’s what I’m asking babe. You never used to just shut it off so I am confused as to the random ons and offs.
Him: Cause I’m not worried about it. I feel like shit though babe
Me: I am worried about it though. So do you want to just turn it off and be done with it ? Cause it would’ve came in handy when I was wondering where you were on Saturday night all night. Would’ve saved me some anxiety.
Him: Do what you want babe. Thank you babe. What time y’all leaving?
Me: I don’t know but I’m asking you collectively. It was your idea to share the locations to begin with and I’m telling you something is bothering me. It’s literally as simple as pressing a button to fix it. If you don’t want to do that babe let me know.
Him: I’ll press the button when it’s important babe. It’s not like I can see yours. That’s all I have to say about it. Are yall going to the aquarium or the boys being bad.
Me: We’ve done it for 5 years I don’t understand why it’s suddenly different now though suddenly you aren’t worried about it ? Right when we’re going through hard times. We are about to go I’ve got to get myself together.
Him: Why are you pressing it so bad like I go so many damn places? Like damn it’s not that serious especially when I’m a call or FaceTime away. Because I don’t care to turn it on unless I’m in an unfamiliar place where you got to worry about me. As of now I don’t do shit I only go to family house so I’ll turn it on when I need to.
Me: Then what was the point of all this time having it on constantly ?
Him: Why is this even a debate? We shouldn’t even be going back and forth over this. It’s not even that serious Smfh. Let’s just spark more problems
Me: I just figured turning it back on would be a simple fix but I’ll just be quiet. My reasoning is that I’m used to it so I wanna know what’s different now. Clearly there was a change of heart for some reason. But it’s ok. Do what you think is best.
Him: Why do you go through these phases? Drilling shit in your head so that you put yourself in a bad place
Me: If your spouse does something for years then suddenly changes it puts you in a weird mindset. Especially when there’s no compromising or reason behind it.
Am I wrong ? Am I overreacting or acting controlling ? I just feel there was no explanation as to why especially when we’re not going through the best time in our marriage why wouldn’t you just want to put your wife’s mind at ease ??
his location was off before the Saturday night thing.. about a week before when he was at his moms he turned it off when he was home
Also I was typing this in an emotional state Saturday night he said he was drunk I told him just stay the night. I’ve told him that before and he never has he always said he would always find a way home to me even if that meant sobering up. After a few texts I didn’t hear from him for the rest of the night . Idk if that changes anything I just thought it was important information that may need to be added….

Context: I’m a M30 with wife 28, currently have one daughter who is 1.5years old and we want a second. Life is pretty manageable because my in laws currently take care of her during working hours on the weekdays, and my wife and I look after her at night and on weekends.
BUT, I know that if we have a second kid, we might need more help + first kid will probably go to childcare. We haven’t conceived yet hahaha but planning for a second kid next year, so that the age gap isn’t too wide. Wife is also ready to take longer no pay maternity leave and my job is flexible enough for me to work from home more.
That being said, I am really anxious about finances and the lack of free time altogether. Right now it’s still ok because if either of us is tired, the other can take over.
What are the difficulties you faced when transitioning from one child to two children + do you have any advice on how to mentally prepare for a second baby? How shag is it?? 🫠🫠🫠
Thanks in advance!

Hey all.
I’m currently drowning in $30k+ of medical debt because I was a silly 22 year old with no knowledge about insurance.
Ok, let me explain- Its 2020. I have a rocky relationship with my parents and I was worried about being booted off their health insurance since I had started my first full-time big girl job. Therefore, I enrolled in benefits through my job, leaving with me two insurances. I had both insurance plans from 2020-2022. I had no clue that if you had two insurance plans you had to let them know about each other to decide a primary and secondary insurance. I continued to use my parents insurance plan as their dependent since I was never removed from their plan and all of my providers already had this insurance on file. Honestly, I kind of forgot about the second insurance plan until I quit that job and was notified about my loss of benefits.
Fast forward to a year after quitting my job… I get a packet in the mail from the second insurance company with 150 pages of denied health insurance claims from 2020-2022. It also included paperwork stating that they will not be covering these claims since the date of service is greater than 6 months from the time of submitting the claim. At this point, my providers were also calling me to tell me that the first insurance company has withdrawn all the money they paid for all my appointments from 2020-2022. It had now become my responsibility to start payments plans with my providers to pay them back for their services.
I know that I fucked up by having two insurance plans. I am fully aware this is my fault. But I’m just wondering if anyone would think it might be worth it to lawyer up and take this case to court to have one of these insurance companies help with payments. I’m absolutely drowning in debt.