I want to preface this with the fact that I am not an amazing player, I have not ran ghosts much only 4 times and 2 of those were after my solo. The reason to run it now is we have an amazing artifact, we don't know whats coming so why not just get it done now. The builds i used were not my own as if i was going to try this I would have used Hunter. I will be doing this again on my PS5 account but I don't see why it would be any harder than on my PC account.
The guide that gave me the idea to even attempt this was made by ItzTizzle on Youtube, he makes great guides i highly recommend checking him out.

• Link to the video: Again Credit to ItzTizzle
• Here's a link to the maps I used, I needed them as i had only done the dungeon once 2 seasons ago.

Now on to my tips, for the first 2 encounters they are incredibly easy as a solar titan the only spot where you might die would be to moths in the first encounter and drowning in the 2nd. I used a machine gun instead of a sword though I never really fired it for the first encounter..
For Echtar the only troublesome spot was the underwater section, my biggest tip is to only go for 1-2 symbols at a time if you aren't 100% sure the path to take. I almost died the 1st phase trying to get all 3. Its a marathon not a sprint, you're better off taking an extra 30 seconds to get your bearings before diving back down than wiping and having to do encounter 1 again.
Now onto the one that gives everyone trouble, Simmumuh. Honestly wasn't that bad there are some steps to follow to make it pretty safe.

1. Once you crush the ghost to start, kill the moths don't worry about anything else she always spawns them at the start. Simmumuh will spawn moths every time Volgath the knight spawns meaning 3 times per damage phase.
2. Kill the boomers, if you leave them up they will kill you if they target you while the boss has line of sight on you. They re-spawn after every damage phase and are the 2nd thing to focus after moths.
3. Take the time to double check the symbol before you crush the lightbearers ghost, you have ample time after killing before they re-spawn to spin the camera around.

Now here is where i differed from the guide above, loadouts. Tizzle used his super to break her shield and sleeper simulant for dps. After my 1st damage phase i quickly realized I suck at throwing hammers, it would have taken me 8~ phases with the damage i dealt. I decided to just rock arbalest and initially planned on using briars contempt alongside the trace from RoN but I dont have 1 crafted so i went with doomed petitioner with enhanced surrounded.
With arbalest breaking the shield, unloading all linear shots and finishing with my super I got the kill in 4 phases. Now I don't know if it would have been a 3 phase as my first i did so little damage only landing 5 sleeper shots but it feels possible.
Here's the 3 loadouts i used:

• https://dim.gg/w7lgldq/Pre-boss - After echtar I re-saved the same loadout but changed the super to throwing also swapped the scavenger to void but if you decide to use sleeper or briars keep it as is.
• https://dim.gg/hz6fmri/Echtar-dps - my initial plan was to avoid using any raid weapons so I used supercluster which worked fine, I had planned to try using slice but only successfully did it once. It does unravel if you pick up an orb which was quite nice.
• https://dim.gg/pb7khqa/Si-mommy-DPS - I only used the trace because it had reconstruction on it but really ammit works fine too, you just need something for moths I don't think i got a single kill with it.

I know some people really hate loadout swaps but its really not bad in this dungeon, for echtar swap before you deposit the last vestige and for Simummuh I swap while crushing the final ghost before heading back through the water.
For controller players, you will want to rebind your charged melee and uncharged. With auto it's very easy to yeet your hammer and that could be fatal. I use right on the d-pad for my charged melee and r1 for uncharged but i've been doing it for a long time now so i am quite used to it. The reason you want separate bindings is the way roaring flames works, it turns your uncharged melee into a pseudo-charged melee. This lets you create sunspots as well as orbs every punch with 3x heavy handed.
I know solo flawless runs always seem so daunting, and normally they are however for this dungeon specifically with the amount of healing we have currently as long as you can shoot moths and punch acolytes there is nothing in here that can even bring you close to death. 2x arc resists with concussive dampener and restoration lets you sit there and DPS Simummuh as if you were in a well. With the extra 15% from solo op, plus whatever the debuff is from revitalizing blast it really cuts down on the phases especially if you mess up a rotation. Less phases, less room for failure.
~~ I hope at least some of you give it a try, I absolutely hated this dungeon on launch still kind of do as the traversal and opening encounter are too long. However at least for now, titan survival trivializes any real difficulty.

So one random day about 2 years ago a random Turkish Facebook account messaged me and started calling me, at first i thought it was some scammer but turned out to be just 2 chicks messing around and i just played along with it. With one of them i just started talking and we kind of clicked, but I've never taken it too seriously, this is the main girl, we'll call her H. To be completely honest i was just a trash guy that felt nothing towards H, however she fell for me and really started caring about me. H sent me nudes, as she said for the first time in her life and she was the initiator of all conversations. Looking back it feels like H always was head over heels in love with me without ever seeing me.
Fast forward about a year and a half, i started gaining a liking towards H as well, we started video calling like every evening. She would get mad when i chose gaming with the boys or going out and not gave time to her, it was really wholesome and one evening she surprised me, she told me that she got accepted into an Erasmus program in Italy, she was finally coming to Europe and we can meet each other. Honestly - I didn't believe that we would ever meet at first, but i started asking her around about her past relationships just feeling out her.
So allegedly H had one past relationship with a Spanish guy it was long distance as well, we'll call him M. She was madly in love with him, they've met in Istanbul once, only had two "very romantical kisses" and nothing else, yes she's still a virgin. That relationship ended abruptly when M's brother found out about that and apparently M was engaged and had a fiancé. H was absolutely heart broken, M's brother called her, started calling her names and told her the full story. She felt betrayed, lost and fell into a deep depression. This is a year before me and her started talking at all.
She came to Italy, everything was fine, she'd tell me about all the people she would meet, tell me about guys that were into her, honestly nothing out of the ordinary, because she is really beautiful and has this calm and collected aura around her. But what bothered me - she would tell me when she found guys handsome. The weird things started happening from then on, since she was Muslim in Italy was the first time she tried alcohol and there were a couple of club nights where she got so wasted she couldn't remember the night before, but she was always with a friend of hers that i trusted and that knew about our relationship, lets call her B.
There was one time that she went out to the club with her student friends and an incident happened - a guy left a hickey on her neck. She told me that while crying the next morning and she told me that it was abrupt and she didn't realize that that was happening, allegedly she was just dancing in the club with him, not romantically she said and he just went in for it from behind her. Allegedly she pulled him off with B and B told him "she's not a girl like that". H came out to me, told me everything about it, i trusted in her that that was a dumb mistake.(Remembering this now kind of makes me feel mad for not giving this that much thought)
Everything turned out ok, we continued talking, no more incidents happened, i didn't shit on her for that incident and i was happy that she was honest and actually as a person that has been more years in relationships in my life than not - i communicated from the beginning that honesty and truthfulness is my top priority in a partner. Honestly i was even a little snake in terms of that i never told her anything i didn't like that she said from the fear that she would close up. So i don't think i created an atmosphere where there would be a motive to keep any secrets, no matter what happened.
We continued talking and H kept pushing me to come to Italy and i will admit - that was way beyond my comfort zone, i told her that i would and that i need time to organize things. Things took a while and eventually she said "i'm sick of waiting, i'm coming to Lithuania myself". And guess what, she bought the tickets with a weeks notice for me. She was coming with her friend B that i had to drive to Latvia for her to meet up with her other friends. Basically after day 2 there would only be the 2 of us left, just me and H.
The day comes and i drive to pick them up from the airport i was anxious and nervous as shit. She comes out of the airport running to me, hugged me for a long time and it felt good. That's when i realized that i really like this girl. But i still have my doubts, i still think of the different cultures, how would she talk to my mother if we ever get married, what culture would our children be, how would i talk to her parents? Basically i didn't see long term viable at that point, in this i'm a piece of shit, because she was in this state of delusion that i'm her everything and i'm her last man ever.
So we live together for that week, we have good adventures, i show her and her friend around the city, outside of the city, they love everything, they're super happy. At night me and H are in the same bed, we kiss and it gets naughty, but at the back of my head i have this guilt of not seeing a future with H, so i don't commit to taking her virginity and we play around with everything around it and she was passionate as shit.
The time i spent with her was very lovely, it was honestly so refreshing and it kind of brought a new light for me, i started imagining the future together but still with many doubts. It is time for her to leave, she's clinged on to me, doesn't want to let me go, is really sad that she has to leave, but eventually she does and she has to leave to Berlin to live there.
Everything was fine, one night i went to play pool with a buddy that lives in the UK, for context he used to date a Chinese girl, we got a little drunk and high and i started talking about H, told him all my doubts and he kind of debunked them with his prior relationship. He basically left me feeling like maybe i should commit to H. He outlined that i do have a lot of prior trauma due to having so many relationships, having been cheated on, having been left for other men and basically i have a very thick shield and never let anyone close. That is very true and i knew the answer was to try to commit and so quietly i did.
H went to Germany, first she went to a city where her friend lives, they both had a good time, she sent me snaps and kept me updated, it was really nice, we continued calling each other. Now this is where the situation started, when she took the train to Berlin, she came in on Monday. She lived in some sort of camp seemed like, she disappeared for that day, in the evening she tried calling me and i called back in an hour. She looked normal to me and i tried asking her what did you do that day. At first she changed the topic, then i asked again - she said they went on a group trip, it was super fun. Then i asked again what happened, she told me this strange story about a guy that she called handsome to her friend in Turkish and was talking about him a lot. After a while the guy turned around and answered to them in Turkish, which made her feel really bad. Then i asked another time, what happened next - she said she got blackout drunk and doesn't remember anything....
Hmmmm. You got blackout drunk like a couple hours ago and now you seem normal talking to me... Alright, i got my suspicions up and reminded her that honesty is number one for me, she said she understands and is 100% honest with me.
Alright, the next day rolls around, LITERALLY THE NEXT DAY AFTER HONESTY CONVERSATION, she sends me a snap of her having lunch with her friend and some guy. I don't think much of it and in the evening we video call, i ask her about the day and she doesn't say anything about no guy, that is pretty weird knowing her past honesty. I directly confront her about it and tell her "What are you talking about, you sent me a snap with you and him at the table", she starts pulling all sorts of bullshit and says she only took pictures of food and sent me those pictures. Lo and behold the tables are black glass and there's a reflection of a dude sitting on his phone at the table. At first she start pulling more shit "I don't see anyone, maybe it's a waiter, i don't know what you're talking about" and i tell her stop acting stupid.
She then starts crying and says that she promised a friend to keep that guy's presence there a secret. Allegedly he's getting an unlawful marriage with his fiancé that neither his nor his fiancé's parents can know about. Wow, what the actual fuck? Who would've i told, going to lunch with guys in secret is normal? Anyway, i told her that she broke my trust and i'm not sure if there's possibility of recovering this. She started begging while crying and said she'd do anything to fix it and that it was a stupid mistake. Alright, i tell her that it will need time, but that she will have to be 100% honest with me. Another talk about honesty.
Next day rolls around and i'm suspicious, i started checking her instagram activity and snap location(very not healthy, i know). i see instragram last active 7h ago and same in snap, all gucci - she asleep. Next time i check - instagram activity has been turned off and snap last active 9 hours ago? I confront her as soon as she gets on snap, which is about 6 hours from the first check. We call and she says she wasn't on insta and she didn't turn off shit. I asked her to share screen and show me - she was messaging B 5 hours ago :)
So i told her that the first mistake i was willing to work through, even though we had a convo literally a day before it. But now this.... I told her that i can't see me trusting her ever again and now she's crying and begging me for days, she gave me all her social media passwords unasked, she said she can delete everything and disappear from everyone's lives except mine. She's basically non stop begging me for forgiveness and saying she'll do anything to fix it and that she will never forget me if she looses me.
She then proceeded to trauma dump me how her father was never present in her life, she never even touched his hand, how she would get beaten by her father side aunts and grandmother, they allegedly kept her starving while her father was not present. They had to hide food because that would get taken away from them and shit. And call me whatever, but at that point, i heard that voice lying though it's teeth, i just did not know what to trust and if this is a manipulation tactic to become a victim.
So this is the part where i need advice, i left it off by saying we'll be friends from now on, we can keep contact and if you ever earn back my trust maybe something will come of it. But I'm very conflicted, i don't know if i can ever trust her again, her behavior after we met turned really shady. What would you do in this situation? AITAH if i leave her?
I left some context out because it turned out way longer as is, ask in the comments if any questions arise.

My dog is a 10 year old, male American Akita who weighs 111 lbs. So far…his history has only recently shown skin dryness that seems to clear up on and off with daily allergy pills (as needed). On top of that, he has random soft stools that I assume are just because of age; I keep a strict leash on his diet because his stomach has been so sensitive recently.
Well, I’m here because I was deciding to switch his vet due to an awful experience that started over a year and a half ago. I walked in and said can you evaluate him for allergies? They told me it’s not allergies and put him on an awful antibiotic and something else for about two weeks. Then it came back. And wild…they told me it was allergies! Then another round of awful pills and a prescription that was written wrong, so he was back on the round of antibiotics for a third time when I asked them to check his thyroid. He was showing signs that he may be having an issue, and with the skin and his breed I assumed this was it. The blood work showed his thyroid was a little high, but they said it’s because he was sick. Then three months later, they wanted to test him for thyroid…I declined because he had already been through enough and was doing just fine and could wait another month or so until his annual. His annual rolls around, and I bring up his stomach looking even more distended. The vet then tried to gaslight me saying nobody told me it may be his thyroid (even though his chart has her notes), and I realized later that she was covering up everything she had missed. So of course, I’m having major trust issues with her professional opinion.
We skipped the vaccines, and we did X-rays. I have the three they sent me, but for some reason they’re cut off a little. The vet pointed to a circular mass you can see on nearly every X-ray saying it is a tumor on his spleen. She said surgery at his age wouldn’t make sense, and that at this point I need to just make him comfortable. She told me that it could bleed and become serious…but other than that - she offered no advice or any help. Aside from what you can see in the X-rays, he also has really bad arthritis in his right hip, and I mentioned him walking sideways a little, but again…they didn’t offer X-rays until NOW. I got him a Librela shot already for the pain; however, since the shot he has been chewing on his leg a little more than usual, and I assume it’s the pain now that I know. Also, in the x-rays you will see that his intestines are pushed all the way to the (she said “right”) side.
I guess my question is, for those who are educated, does that truly look like a mass on his spleen? I need to get a second opinion before spending hundreds on a different vet and new images (which are hard to get on a 120 lb dog who doesn’t like being man handled). I also need to know because I’m not left with the decision to either let him go peacefully or wait until the tumor bleeds and it becomes an emergency.
I will also add that Yogi still loves his walks; he’s always hungry; he is drinking A TON of water to the point where sometimes I have to go over and physically move the water away from him. He’s always drank a lot of water but not like this. He’s been up and moving a lot more at night. Sometimes he seems very confused, mostly around what time it is when he’s asking for dinner.
Please be kind in your response. I’ve had Yogi for his whole life, and a huge chunk of that he was my service dog. He’s my soul dog, and I just need to make sure I’m getting all the facts from these images that I can. This is my first dog, and definitely my ONLY experience with anything like this…I just need to know the X-rays are accurate to what I have been told.
Yogi’s X-Rays

So.... Last Post I had made... I had some of her angry loyal fans swearing up and down that I was being "insecure" because I pointed out her narcissistic behavior and self obsession with men being absolutely crazy about her and her needing to brag it to the world for some reason, on top of showing it in her videos that she's vain herself DESPITE her saying in the past that she doesn't think it's right when women are vain and obsessed with social media and this that and the third. You know her christian spiels. So pointing out the hypocrisy and narcism is considered being insecure according to her fans. And yes, being on social media on your brother or husband's accounts or secret accounts counts as being on social media 😐 One thing about her, is she holds everyone to false standards except herself bc rules don't exist for her.
In her latest video...... once again, she's talking about men. Are we surprised??? Because at 32:32, randomlyyyy, out of nowhere she just starts gloating again about how cool she was in school and going off about 10 diff stories of how many guys had crushes on her, going crazy for her, and like passionately telling the story. It's like atp, everyone in her kid school has moved on with their life but she's stuck on the ones that big up her ego 😆 And Jordan again, once again sitting there like.... yes 😀 tell me about all the guys that had crushes on you.... Pick me vibes for real for real.
You just can't make it up. She is insufferable. It's like she is this way because she's received attention and she gets high off of it and then just becomes entitled from it- and this is the reason why she thinks that everyone is crazy about her and just the whole world revolves around her. Even her saying that the teachers called her ms little pretty thang, and her being the golden child (thinks she's the best of them), and men in public approaching her- like all of it has gone to her head to make her feel like she's the world's most highest. That's probably where the narcism and attention craving and glorification began. When you live your life spoiled by everyone, you think you're the best and become entitled and a narcisst. And the whole "bc my wrist is super tiny" or "she's a little firecracker" again just plays into her view of herself that she's a kwoot wittle feisty gworl >3< uwu
TL;DR version: You possibly have come to watch a hygiene video or something but instead you'll see:

1. Your local drama queen gloating about her maturity yet proceeds to act like a kid many times with the tiara, mini tantrums, and emotional outbursts
   
2. Once again, the tales of her many suitors in this world that's feeding her pick me girl ego. No surprise.
   
3. Her being an icky type of person in school and being proud of it..... no surprises there too.
   
4. 52:06- "there was this girl at garage today, she literally made everyone tell me happy birthday. Tell her happy birthday, girl you better tell her happy birthday. to which Chloe proceeds to say, "okayyy, we can be friends" yes. Ofc that's what she feels. Anyone that will war for their kween like this and glorify her- yes ofc they can be friends with her 😂 she expects nothing less out of her relationships in her life. if you don't plan to worship her, don't think you're gonna be around her for too much. She don't like that.
   

So one random day about 2 years ago a random Turkish Facebook account messaged me and started calling me, at first i thought it was some scammer but turned out to be just 2 chicks messing around and i just played along with it. With one of them i just started talking and we kind of clicked, but I've never taken it too seriously, this is the main girl, we'll call her H. To be completely honest i was just a trash guy that felt nothing towards H, however she fell for me and really started caring about me. H sent me nudes, as she said for the first time in her life and she was the initiator of all conversations. Looking back it feels like H always was head over heels in love with me without ever seeing me.
Fast forward about a year and a half, i started gaining a liking towards H as well, we started video calling like every evening. She would get mad when i chose gaming with the boys or going out and not gave time to her, it was really wholesome and one evening she surprised me, she told me that she got accepted into an Erasmus program in Italy, she was finally coming to Europe and we can meet each other. Honestly - I didn't believe that we would ever meet at first, but i started asking her around about her past relationships just feeling out her.
So allegedly H had one past relationship with a Spanish guy it was long distance as well, we'll call him M. She was madly in love with him, they've met in Istanbul once, only had two "very romantical kisses" and nothing else, yes she's still a virgin. That relationship ended abruptly when M's brother found out about that and apparently M was engaged and had a fiancé. H was absolutely heart broken, M's brother called her, started calling her names and told her the full story. She felt betrayed, lost and fell into a deep depression. This is a year before me and her started talking at all.
She came to Italy, everything was fine, she'd tell me about all the people she would meet, tell me about guys that were into her, honestly nothing out of the ordinary, because she is really beautiful and has this calm and collected aura around her. But what bothered me - she would tell me when she found guys handsome. The weird things started happening from then on, since she was Muslim in Italy was the first time she tried alcohol and there were a couple of club nights where she got so wasted she couldn't remember the night before, but she was always with a friend of hers that i trusted and that knew about our relationship, lets call her B.
There was one time that she went out to the club with her student friends and an incident happened - a guy left a hickey on her neck. She told me that while crying the next morning and she told me that it was abrupt and she didn't realize that that was happening, allegedly she was just dancing in the club with him, not romantically she said and he just went in for it from behind her. Allegedly she pulled him off with B and B told him "she's not a girl like that". H came out to me, told me everything about it, i trusted in her that that was a dumb mistake.(Remembering this now kind of makes me feel mad for not giving this that much thought)
Everything turned out ok, we continued talking, no more incidents happened, i didn't shit on her for that incident and i was happy that she was honest and actually as a person that has been more years in relationships in my life than not - i communicated from the beginning that honesty and truthfulness is my top priority in a partner. Honestly i was even a little snake in terms of that i never told her anything i didn't like that she said from the fear that she would close up. So i don't think i created an atmosphere where there would be a motive to keep any secrets, no matter what happened.
We continued talking and H kept pushing me to come to Italy and i will admit - that was way beyond my comfort zone, i told her that i would and that i need time to organize things. Things took a while and eventually she said "i'm sick of waiting, i'm coming to Lithuania myself". And guess what, she bought the tickets with a weeks notice for me. She was coming with her friend B that i had to drive to Latvia for her to meet up with her other friends. Basically after day 2 there would only be the 2 of us left, just me and H.
The day comes and i drive to pick them up from the airport i was anxious and nervous as shit. She comes out of the airport running to me, hugged me for a long time and it felt good. That's when i realized that i really like this girl. But i still have my doubts, i still think of the different cultures, how would she talk to my mother if we ever get married, what culture would our children be, how would i talk to her parents? Basically i didn't see long term viable at that point, in this i'm a piece of shit, because she was in this state of delusion that i'm her everything and i'm her last man ever.
So we live together for that week, we have good adventures, i show her and her friend around the city, outside of the city, they love everything, they're super happy. At night me and H are in the same bed, we kiss and it gets naughty, but at the back of my head i have this guilt of not seeing a future with H, so i don't commit to taking her virginity and we play around with everything around it and she was passionate as shit.
The time i spent with her was very lovely, it was honestly so refreshing and it kind of brought a new light for me, i started imagining the future together but still with many doubts. It is time for her to leave, she's clinged on to me, doesn't want to let me go, is really sad that she has to leave, but eventually she does and she has to leave to Berlin to live there.
Everything was fine, one night i went to play pool with a buddy that lives in the UK, for context he used to date a Chinese girl, we got a little drunk and high and i started talking about H, told him all my doubts and he kind of debunked them with his prior relationship. He basically left me feeling like maybe i should commit to H. He outlined that i do have a lot of prior trauma due to having so many relationships, having been cheated on, having been left for other men and basically i have a very thick shield and never let anyone close. That is very true and i knew the answer was to try to commit and so quietly i did.
H went to Germany, first she went to a city where her friend lives, they both had a good time, she sent me snaps and kept me updated, it was really nice, we continued calling each other. Now this is where the situation started, when she took the train to Berlin, she came in on Monday. She lived in some sort of camp seemed like, she disappeared for that day, in the evening she tried calling me and i called back in an hour. She looked normal to me and i tried asking her what did you do that day. At first she changed the topic, then i asked again - she said they went on a group trip, it was super fun. Then i asked again what happened, she told me this strange story about a guy that she called handsome to her friend in Turkish and was talking about him a lot. After a while the guy turned around and answered to them in Turkish, which made her feel really bad. Then i asked another time, what happened next - she said she got blackout drunk and doesn't remember anything....
Hmmmm. You got blackout drunk like a couple hours ago and now you seem normal talking to me... Alright, i got my suspicions up and reminded her that honesty is number one for me, she said she understands and is 100% honest with me.
Alright, the next day rolls around, LITERALLY THE NEXT DAY AFTER HONESTY CONVERSATION, she sends me a snap of her having lunch with her friend and some guy. I don't think much of it and in the evening we video call, i ask her about the day and she doesn't say anything about no guy, that is pretty weird knowing her past honesty. I directly confront her about it and tell her "What are you talking about, you sent me a snap with you and him at the table", she starts pulling all sorts of bullshit and says she only took pictures of food and sent me those pictures. Lo and behold the tables are black glass and there's a reflection of a dude sitting on his phone at the table. At first she start pulling more shit "I don't see anyone, maybe it's a waiter, i don't know what you're talking about" and i tell her stop acting stupid.
She then starts crying and says that she promised a friend to keep that guy's presence there a secret. Allegedly he's getting an unlawful marriage with his fiancé that neither his nor his fiancé's parents can know about. Wow, what the actual fuck? Who would've i told, going to lunch with guys in secret is normal? Anyway, i told her that she broke my trust and i'm not sure if there's possibility of recovering this. She started begging while crying and said she'd do anything to fix it and that it was a stupid mistake. Alright, i tell her that it will need time, but that she will have to be 100% honest with me. Another talk about honesty.
Next day rolls around and i'm suspicious, i started checking her instagram activity and snap location(very not healthy, i know). i see instragram last active 7h ago and same in snap, all gucci - she asleep. Next time i check - instagram activity has been turned off and snap last active 9 hours ago? I confront her as soon as she gets on snap, which is about 6 hours from the first check. We call and she says she wasn't on insta and she didn't turn off shit. I asked her to share screen and show me - she was messaging B 5 hours ago :)
So i told her that the first mistake i was willing to work through, even though we had a convo literally a day before it. But now this.... I told her that i can't see me trusting her ever again and now she's crying and begging me for days, she gave me all her social media passwords unasked, she said she can delete everything and disappear from everyone's lives except mine. She's basically non stop begging me for forgiveness and saying she'll do anything to fix it and that she will never forget me if she looses me.
She then proceeded to trauma dump me how her father was never present in her life, she never even touched his hand, how she would get beaten by her father side aunts and grandmother, they allegedly kept her starving while her father was not present. They had to hide food because that would get taken away from them and shit. And call me whatever, but at that point, i heard that voice lying though it's teeth, i just did not know what to trust and if this is a manipulation tactic to become a victim.
So this is the part where i need advice, i left it off by saying we'll be friends from now on, we can keep contact and if you ever earn back my trust maybe something will come of it. But I'm very conflicted, i don't know if i can ever trust her again, her behavior after we met turned really shady. What would you do in this situation?
I left some context out because it turned out way longer as is, ask in the comments if any questions arise.

PART ONE THOUSAND AND THIRTEEN
[Previous Chapter] [The Beginning] [Patreon+2]
Sunday
Lucas tapped the flat of his finger twice on the partially open door, more to let Boyd know he was coming than actually requesting permission to enter. He pushed it open and strode through as the somewhat welcoming grunt came from within.
“Hey, sexy,” he said, crossing the two rooms to zoom in on Boyd sitting at his bench. On the spinner before Boyd was a larger figure than he had ever done before: an eighteen-inch figure of a woman with an hourglass figure wearing a form-fitting formal gown that flowed to the floor, swaying as if she’d just stepped to her right. Her hands were curled as if she were holding something or someone, but that part was missing.
“Ooooh,” Lucas said, resting his head on Boyd’s shoulder to examine the piece closer. “She’s pretty.”
“She’s also the viscount’s granddaughter, who I think is married to a prince somewhere in Eastern Europe. I’d have to pull out her details again, but she’s already got two kids, and she still looks this good.”
“She doesn’t look old enough to have two kids.”
“That’s what happens when you marry when you’re still a teenager.”
“Please tell me it wasn’t an arranged marriage.”
Boyd did a slow pan to level an annoyed look at him.
“What? They used to.”
“Slavery was a thing in America back in the day, too.”
Lucas made a deflating raspberry. “If you want to get technical,” he grumbled.
Boyd twisted his seat to face him, loosely curling his arms around Lucas’ waist. “Where are you off to, Mister Soon-To-Be-Masters?”
Oh-ho. Someone’s feeling playful. “I thought you were going to become a Dobson,” Lucas countered, leaning in to give him a quick morning kiss.
“Yeah, but then I was reminded I do have family that I care about.”
“None of which are Masters. Your mom and Aunt Judy are sisters who changed their names when they married. If you were going to take any of their names, we’d both be changing to Davenport.”
Boyd looked down at where their abdomens rested against each other.
“Hey,” Lucas said, sliding his hand under Boyd’s chin and lifting it so he could see those beautiful baby blues focusing on him. “What’s going on, love?”
Boyd opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He tried twice more. “Ten years,” he finally croaked. “They took me in and gave me a home within the family for nearly two years, and I repaid them by cutting them out of my life the second I could. Who does that to their own?”
“Somebody with a lot of fear,” Lucas answered honestly. "And that somebody isn’t you anymore. You’ve invited Emily to be our accountant, and personally, I hope you know what you’re doing there…”
“Emily has always been good with money. The only time she’s ever been off is when she borrows money from you, and you go to get it back. By the time she’s finished explaining all the financial movement around the transaction, you end up owing her twice as much, and she’s really convincing. Computerised flow charts and everything.”
Lucas hoped he was exaggerating. If Emily had been that quick and deceptive to separate Boyd from his money when she was a teenager, she might have been even more cunning now. Lucas would remain attentive until she proved herself because the love of his life had earned this break. “Okay,” was all he said since he didn’t want to argue.
Boyd nipped the tip of his nose. “Don’t you ‘okay’ me in that tone of voice.”
Lucas pulled back and rubbed the back of his hand against his nose. It hadn’t hurt, but it was weird. No one had ever done that before. “I’m a cop, love. In my world, it’s guilty until proven innocent.”
“Getting back to my original question. Where are you going?”
“I’m going to go and get some supplies for Levi and Maddy. The dumbass has been worrying himself sick over where he can leave Maddy on short notice if he and Austin get called out to a fire together. They can’t waste up to an hour each way getting over to Queens and Brooklyn.”
“Tell him she can stay with us,” Boyd said without hesitation. I’ll be here all the time, and if I’m out and it’s an emergency dump-and-run, I can drop whatever I’m doing and call someone to teleport me back.”
Lucas leaned in and kissed him again. “And that’s just one of the many reasons I love you,” he said once they parted. “Charlie will be here too, which means Robbie won’t be far away either. Levi still wants to run it past Llyr since it’s his place, but so long as we keep her on our side and away from Miss W, it won’t be a problem.”
“You’ll need to remember to lock up your guns when she’s here.”
Lucas nodded thoughtfully in agreement without speaking. It would devastate everyone if Maddy somehow managed to get her hands on one of his work firearms and fire it. He’d need to get a thumbprint safe – something that he could get at very quickly in a crisis.
“How is she with beds?”
“What?”
“Don’t little kids have those hospital guardrail things, so they don’t roll out of bed and hurt themselves? I mean, your bed isn’t that far from the floor, but if you’re getting supplies, you might want to think about some of those things to keep her in.”
Lucas hadn’t thought about that. “Okay, then it’s going to be a bigger shopping trip than I thought, but that’s alright. Levi and Maddy are going to chill in the apartment until I get back.”
“Do you want me to check in on them?”
“Nah, it should be fine. Levi knows where Charlie’s office is, and if he’s going to annoy anyone while they’re at work, it should be our sister.” Lucas turned Boyd back to his carving and leaned his head on Boyd’s shoulder. “You keep outdoing yourself, you know that, right?”
“These tools are magic. I can’t do a thing wrong with them.” With a slight grimace, he added, “Hey, have you ever heard the story about the kid who gets the magic piano?”
Lucas squinted warily. “Am I going to like this story?”
“It’s a cautionary tale. This kid finds a magic piano, and all he has to do is work the pedals, and the piano plays itself. No one notices it’s not the kid, and the kid’s ego grows with each performance until he’s an international sensation. Then, he has a fight with the piano over who the star really is. The following night, the piano refuses to play, and the kid is booed off the stage. His family is left financially ruined.”
“I will beat you within an inch of your life if you equate that to you.”
Boyd looked at him. “How can I not? I mean, when I relax and just let the tools do what they’re made to do, the pieces come out flawlessly—every time. But the second I worry, minor defects creep in. Nothing I can’t counter and fix, but still…”
“If it concerns you that much, why not do a piece every now and then without the divine tools to prove to yourself that the skill is yours and the tools are just tools?”
Boyd looked over the divine toolset, then back up at the shelf where his older tools were. “That’s a good idea,” he admitted.
Lucas lightly kissed him on the lips and stepped out of his grasp. “I’ve been known to have them now and again. Oh, and don’t forget we’re going to Angus’ this afternoon. Just the six of us.”
Boyd raised his left hand in acknowledgment, but his focus was back on the carving even as his right hand picked up a scalpel of some kind and drove it across the carving’s middle. The blade was then smoothly passed to his left hand to make an incision from that side while his right reached for a new tool.
As he’d said, his motions were flawless, with chips and shavings flying at the speed of a professional wood chopper. Lucas could watch him work all day, but if he was going to make it to Angus’, he needed to leave now.
He let himself out and headed for the main front door to the level.
A little over an hour later, after grabbing several sets of clothes in his brother’s size, Lucas was standing in the middle of the children’s clothing section, blinking in confusion at all the options. He would go to touch one, then back away, unsure.
He must have looked pitiful because a staff member in her mid-thirties took pity on him and approached with a warm smile. “Can I help you?”
“Yeah, this is crazy,” he answered, gesturing to the millions of clothes options before them. “My brother asked me to look after my niece in an emergency, and I want her to have whatever she’ll need at my place in case he doesn’t have time to take her home.” He looked at all the clothes. “Whatever that entails.”
“That’s really sweet. Is your brother a doctor?”
“Fireman.”
The woman gave Lucas the once over. “I can see that.”
Lucas chuckled. It wasn’t anything he hadn’t heard before. Between him, Levi and Mav all sharing their dad’s muscle, they’d always caught people’s eye. “Anyway,” he said, wanting to move this along. “My niece is three going on four, and she’s about this high,” he said, showing her height as an inch or two under his hip.
“Does she have any favourite TV shows?”
“Spongebob,” Lucas said, incredibly grateful for his conversation with Levi over breakfast. He’d have never had that answer otherwise. “And if you’re not doing anything after we get her clothes sorted, my fiancé mentioned something about bed rails since she’ll be sleeping in my old queen-sized bed. This is an all-in shopping trip for her, and I have no idea what to get.”
“Do you have any toys for her? And no, I’m not pushing for a commission here. Little minds need to be kept stimulated, or little hands will end up in places they have no business being. If this is your first time looking after her, you’re going to want a few toys, books, and things to keep her busy.”
“My brother is already nagging me about buying her the basics. What would you recommend that won’t make it seem like I’m trying to buy her affection?”
“Are you okay with electronics, or are you trying to steer her away from that?”
“It doesn’t faze me. It’s more the cost. I don’t want to buy her what my brother hasn’t or can’t afford. I’ve been into too many households where kids have every version of PlayStation, Xbox and Nintendo and every known game that goes with them. Those kids appreciate nothing, and that’s not something I’m okay with.”
“You see a lot of people’s houses?”
“I was a beat cop for over eight years before my promotion.”
“A policeman and a fireman? I’m sure there's a joke involving a bar in there somewhere.”
“If there were, the third person would be an ice hockey player,” Lucas chuckled again, already liking this woman. As they wandered through the aisles, she added things to his cart. Clothes were first, but they quickly moved on to toys. A couple of generic soft toys. and the board game “Candyland”. Lucas grabbed ‘Hungry, Hungry Hippos’, as that was one he and his brothers had played when he’d been Maddy’s age. Then came two large boxes of Duplo.
Not once did it feel like the sales assistant was pushing an agenda. She even paused to consider the options as if she were buying them for her own kids. Lucas really appreciated that.
As they were walking the isles, Lucas came to a screeching halt and stared at a range of doctor, nurse and vet play sets. Two jumped out at him. One had a plastic pet carrier with a handful of bulky instruments, and the other came in a bright blue bag with red handles and a white pawprint on the side. It had a comprehensive range, including toy bandages, pill bottles, cream jars, syringes, a stethoscope and even a cone of shame. Both went into the cart after he checked to make sure the two soft animals would fit in the carrier.
Mason’ll have a field day showing her exactly how to simulate using all this stuff, he thought to himself with a grin.
“You’re really very thoughtful,” the woman said after he explained why they both had to be purchased.
Lucas specifically asked for books after that. Real books with paper pages. He was sure his mother (as a high school English teacher) would murder him in his sleep if he didn’t buy Maddy at least ten books ranging from ones she could memorise and pretend to read (which, in her grandmother’s eyes, taught her word structure and was the first step in learning to read), with ones he could read to her. And that, of course, required Spongebob bookends to hold them together.
“Your fiancé is a lucky woman if you’re willing to do all of this for your niece,” she said once the cart was full and they were heading back to the checkouts.
“Yes, he is,” Lucas agreed, deliberately sliding in Boyd’s gender without making a huge issue of it.
Her eyes widened in horror. “Oh, I’m so sorry. Wow, I really shouldn’t make that assumption anymore, and I apologise.”
Because this was New York. “Apology accepted,” Lucas said, waving it aside. Boyd might have been embarrassed, but thankfully, he wasn’t here. “Thanks again for all your help.”
* * *
((Author's extra-long note:
Heya guys! Just letting you know I need to take a week off. [It’s nothing to do with the community here, I promise! I love writing this, and I’ll be back as soon as I can.]
In fact it's … you know what? Stuff it. You guys might as well know. Remember how I mentioned earlier this year we were fighting for more care for my special needs daughter?
That’s the issue.
Our support coordinator has our written authority to act on our behalf. Yet we’ve been told in writing from the government department that if she doesn’t back off, the whole request, including thousands of dollars of specialists interviewing our daughter and reporting their findings, will be deleted, and our request, including all-new interviews and reports, will have to start all over again.
I’m almost at the point where I’m not sleeping, but our support coordinator has promised us to fight because, in her words, “This is getting ridiculous.”
I’ve been really struggling to write this week with everything going on in the background. I’ve finally admitted I need to pull back (just for one week—I mean it when I say how much I love this writing and the little community we’ve formed) to focus on sorting out the mess, so that my writing isn’t tarnished by the battlelines that are being drawn up in the background.
(I already scrapped a page and a half because my anger at things [I bounce between anger and depression] had people who were usually very chill (Robbie) acting in a very aggressive manner that simply wasn’t them. Because of this, I’ve already used up several of my backlog this week and I loathe to lose any more, given how hard they were to build up. (The thought of using them up without others to take their place was also adding to my stress.)
And I was told by my beta reader, ‘Given you’ve been doing this for over three years, and you’ve only had the occasional day off due to sickness, take the week and regroup, stronger than ever.
I agreed. This means my next post will be on Monday, the 27th, Australian Time.
This means my next post will be on Monday, the 27th, Australian Time.
I hope with all my heart that you’ll all still be with me when I return next week.
Karen. ))
((All comments welcome. Good or bad, I’d love to hear your thoughts 🥰🤗))
I made a family tree/diagram of the Mystallian family that can be found here
For more of my work, including WPs: Angel466 or an index of previous WPS here.
FULL INDEX OF BOB THE HOBO TO DATE CAN BE FOUND HERE!!

Unfortunately, following a somewhat crowded outdoor event, I ended up getting COVID for the second time. This was definitely worst than the first time because it caused all sorts of GI symptoms. I was ok for a bit, but started to notice ll my food was digesting super slowly and it kept going downhill from there. Now I thought it was just gastroparesis, and I was suffering from severe weight loss as well, and bloodwork showed some high cholesterol, so my primary recommended an ultrasound, and after that that I see a gastroenterologist and a liver doctor as well to rule out anything else. Ultrasound showed mild fatty liver and sludge in the gallbladder.
Liver doctor was useless and dismissive. According to her, my GERD was managed by "weight loss" (it was not; it was managed by not fucking eating onions all the time mainly LMAO and reducing other triggers like tomato sauce and oddly and specifically, chocolate mousse). She also recommended I see a nutritionist, which considering I just said I could barely tolerate any food and wasn't eating and experiencing rapid unexplained weight loss what good would that do? Didn't bother doing a follow-up.
Gastroenterologist was my savior frankly. She listened for one, had me do an endoscopy just to make sure I had no other stomach issues (just mild gastritis and a hernia, which I knew about), and after getting all my ultrasound scans as well, recommended surgery after some more spasms, pain, and my symptoms just not improving and experiencing more food sensitivities and intolerances. I went to the ER because my pain was getting worse and I couldn't take it, ultrasound was done there only for the sludge to have completely vanished even though i still had pain, got sent home because why would they do anything extra even though my pain was almost 24/7, but you know, no fever = oh you're fine lol. The ER doctor did recommend additional scans though, so I went back to my gastro, who ordered a HIDA scan.
HIDA scan gave me the proof I needed; my gallbladder had an EF of 19%, and she recommended a surgeon to me, had my appointment with him, gave him all of my medical results, told him my symptoms, and he immediately explained to me how laparoscopic surgery would work and boom, surgery ended up getting scheduled for the next week, and I was his first one of the day. Got that done yesterday, and while the anesthesia had me super down and out for the count and peeing afterwards sucks and is very very slow and irritating, it still doesn't compare to the gallbladder pain; I had to stop eating dinner and was living off of cream of wheat and baby snacks up until the surgery, and even water triggered pain. Didn't have any gallstones, but it turns out my gallbladder was "partly intrahepatic" and inflamed and I had a short cystic duct, so it was probably a matter of time before it started fucking up, but COVID might have accelerated it since I never had issues prior to getting it the second time, and i see other people in the sub have had similar (the first time I got COVID, it just attacked my lungs mostly, also messed with my motor skills and I had a lot of fatigue and heat intolerance).
That's my story, and I'm sharing because maybe it'll help someone else who was just as lost as I am. It's absolutely shitty, and the US healthcare system is a nightmare especially when you're a femme person of color, and I will say I got very lucky with my gastro. Just gotta keep trucking along and keep fighting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, rooting for yall!
EDIT: oh forgot to mention that my period started the literal day of surgery, but it didn't seem to affect much and the nurses were very kind enough to offer me two pads and surgical underwear!

It is what it is. It was kinda absurd how I came to my parents home on Tuesday, cause my beloved dog lives there and my aunt was there, noone was expecting her. She always scans me, she is extremely toxic and draining person to be around.
I forced myself to come down and "chat a little" out of obligation, I should not have done that. To this day, she thinks Im unemployed, as the rest of my extended "family" thinks too and she would ask in a very controling tone: "How are you doing?" , well, what is one supposed to answer to this automatic question? So I replied "fine" and she went on: "Well, who could be more fine than you right?" (You have a fairytale life)...Then my mom was talking about some gardening work she was doing, and the aunt said "You should make her help you!". I felt like a shit, erased and humiliated.
The thing is, she automatically assumes, that I dont do anything, that I never work. Plot twist. I am the one, who does the lawn moving every week, I do usually do the works, she insisted my mom should ask me to do, I am the chores lover in the house, I am the one who will paint the fence just because I want to, I buy groceries and bring them by walk to our house. She saw me riding electric scooter, so she assumes Im lazy to walk, I am very dynamic person in general. And the list of assumptions goes on and on.
My entire family does this, they never asked, not even once, where do I work, strangers ask that, they never do. So they know nothing, they have no updates on my life for years. My dad is considered to be high status person, everyone thinks we are rich, so they think, that my occupation is being daughter. They can´t be further from the truth, my dad is a scrooge, he is the "me,me,me" person, my money, my house etc. His job, his status, his life is something that has nothing to do with us, he lives it in the big city and comes "home" to our little town on weekends, it´s almost like he lives a double life. We dont know anything about his job, my mom does not know where he lives whole week.
He does not know me at all, he never supported my life decisions, he has different values and views on everything, I have always been my own person, he never understood me, always mocked me for being different (you are antisocial, abnormal etc) and yeah, we are basically like strangers. My mom does not work, and she needs money from him, but he gives her too little, so you know...the situation we live in vs what people think is two completely different universes.
My extended family never perceived me as a real person I guess, as someone, who actually lives and exists, they see me as an npc character with some name, but not as real person. Im 31, but grandpa will wish me happy birthday, give me money and tell me to buy some ice cream, this aunt, that I mentioned would always bully me, she would observe if I eat, constantly projects onto me, that Im on a diet (Im not), cause she has trouble with her weight, so she compares herself to me, she is like 70, Im 31.
Another aunt and my cousins, they have always created conspiracies about my family, they too think we all never work and just have holiday all the time. Their kids - my cousins all live at home and they are between ages 20-40. My brother is still at home too. So you know, it feels absurd, that this inept caricature, that they see in me, moved out, pays her rent with her money, that she has earned in her job, that she found by herself by sending CV.
I know, that if they knew this, this narrative would follow: They would be convinced, that my dad pays for it, that I dont have real job, or if I do, then he must have help me get it. My own landlord thinks this! This was the real bad luck, she pushes this narrative onto me, because as soon as they found out whose daughter I am, she and her family, who know him, made their mind immediately. They even asked me, when I was signing the contract, if we had an argument and parted on wrong terms with my family, they could not understand, how come I am about to be paying rent, cause they too assumed, that in "such families" parents buy apartments to their kids and then they kinda started another narrative, that this is all about me trying it in "real world" and trying to be on my own, but since I dont really have to, it´s just a funny attempt. And that is how Im being looked at.
This is beyond insane! It´s all lies, assumptions and total dehumanization of me as a person. The fact, that I managed to get apartment and pay rent is a huge deal for me, that I myself provided for me with nobody´s help but mine, and I am forced to do a performance in front of them all and pretend, that nothing has changed, so they can see that inept thing in me forever, so they will not taint my success with gossip, lies and conspiracies. I should cut them off, and I did those that I could, some I avoid at all cost, as that toxic aunt, but sometimes I cant avoid them, and they still are connected to me through my immediate family, that I cannot cut off as I have no balls for it.
Can anyone relate?

In 2010, I was facing felony charges for distribution of drugs. I was a drug addict. Hook line and sinker. But never admitted that to myself. My drug of choice? Anything I could get my hands on. Cocaine, ecstasy, weed, Xanax, Oxycontin, ciggys, alcohol, ativan, seroquil, spice, mushrooms.. You name it.
Desperately wanting to avoid prison time, I did whatever I could to turn my life around. The potential pain in carrying on was too great to tolerate. This was my rock bottom.
I enrolled in college, started working out every day, got rid of any "friends" that wanted to continue that lifestyle.
And quitting my daily drug use?
It wasn't a factor. I was too scared. I was willing to do anything to escape my prison sentence so I dropped them all without looking back. I was lucky. Lucky I had hit rock bottom. Lucky that everything collapsed around me. I needed a push and this was it.
Apparently the judge saw that I was making real change and I was able to avoid prison. I was slapped with a couple of felonies, fines, and drug and rehab classes.
Having felonies on my record was hard. I couldn't get a decent job. Even Walmart was excited to hire me, but then rejected me because of my record. I knew that I had turned a new leaf. I just needed someone to see that I was changed now.
Luckily, I found a family that needed help with their special needs kid.
I worked for them for long enough to get my felonies reduced and expunged off my record.
When hard drugs turn into soft drugs.
I thought I was "drug free" because I had stopped all illegal drugs. But soon I found myself consuming copious amounts of caffeine in order to lose weight and get "Jacked". You see, I found a passion for natural bodybuilding and Jiu-Jitsu around 2011.
I consumed endless content on how to lose body fat so I could finally get a six pack. A lot of YouTubers at the time were promoting pre-workouts like Jack3d. Which also had another stimulant called 1,3 dimethylamylamine - or DMAA. Which was banned after it had become known to be problematic.
So there I was, taking Jack3d, working out, and trying to figure out how to get a six pack. I hired the same coaches that my favorite YouTuber Matt Ogus had. 3DMuscleJourney. I got very serious with Diet and training.
When I started with 3DMuscleJourney in 2012, I had been working out for a solid year. I had gotten down to 195lbs from 215. Not a huge difference. And I had put on a good amount of Muscle in that time.
3DMuscleJourney taught me and guided me on how to train effectively while dieting and how to diet efficiently by tracking macros. But my preworkout and caffeine use had spiked up 1,500mg a day. I used caffeine as a substitute for food. After 12 weeks, I was down to 160lbs.
I was fit by any person's definition. My new found glory would soon collapse as my caffeine and DMAA use caught up to me. I started having bad shoulder pain, my joints were achy and cracky, popping every time I moved. I started stretching and doing mobility exercises but the pain in my body only got worse. I was unable to sleep. I would have fits of rage followed by lows of doubt and depression.
Then, I broke. I was no longer able to exercise because of the pain. I started eating more to see if it would help my joints. I quickly gained 30lbs. Probably within only a few weeks. I ended my coaching and started to slip back towards the abyss
That's when I figured out that caffeine and DMAA were both a huge problem.
I had been consuming caffeine my whole life. But never thought twice about it. It was a legal substance that a kid could go buy in a vending machine. How bad could it be? Broken, I decided to quit.
I was quickly able to cut out DMAA. But every attempt at quitting caffeine left me in so much pain that I would quickly rationalize going back to it. I never made it past two weeks.
Why was this harder than quitting all of those harder drugs?
I guess decades of using a softer drug still carves out some pretty steep ravines in your reward pathway. Caffeine was my last vice. Or so I thought..
I read the book "Caffeine Blues". This book explained that caffeine is not healthy in any way. It is a stimulant that causes your body to break down over time just like any drug. The book outlined some of the negatives associated with caffeine.

• Poor sleep, even if you didn't consume caffeine close to bedtime
• Joint pain from increased muscle tension.
• Poor vitamin and mineral absorption.
• Energy crashes and mood swings.
• Irritability.
• Psychosis.
• Masking negatives of caffeine with drugs and alcohol.

The list goes on. This was crazy. The book recommended tapering off of caffeine. While I was able to wean down to 300-600 most days. I couldn't get myself to fully commit. I started to look for some help.
Maybe I needed something to give me energy and focus while I quit?
I started to look at "Nootropics" to help me focus. I tried a large variety of them.

• Noopept
• Modafinil
• Piracetam
• Aniracetam
• L-Theanine
• Phenibu
• Kratom
• Nicotine
• A large variety of other supplements.

Non of this helped me quit caffeine. I soon realized that these legal "Performance enhancers" were just drugs. With their own highs and lows. And negative effects over time. I ended up quitting all of this after a year.
It was back to the drawing board.
Around the end of 2015, I ended up doing a 3 month or so long caffeine taper. Using caffeine powder and a mg scale I bought off Amazon. The plan was slow and steady. 1-2mg per day. I didn't want to notice my caffeine levels were dropping. After about a month under 25mg, I started feeling great.
My joints felt great, Arizona heat was more comfortable, I craved healthy food and exercise, I slept like a baby, the list goes on. I had raised my testosterone levels from 320ng/dL to 575ng/dL.
But then, just as I finally let go of caffeine. There was a surprise. A curve ball that would change my life forever.
The boy who lived...
My first child was to be born. The 24 hours in the hospital was an introduction to the lack of sleep I would face over the next few years. I caved..
One or two cups of coffee later, my son was born, and a new cycle of baby wake me up > being tired > caffeine to get me through the day > poor quality sleep > baby wake me up had begun.
I got got even more dependent on caffeine. I could no longer just take a nap whenever I wanted. I was a mess. Feeling like shit, with high stress, I also started drinking alcohol and smoking weed again. My testosterone levels plummeted down to 275ng/dL.
Great move dad..
I wanted to get healthy again. I started reading books about health, nutrition, meditation, etc. I wanted to attack this problem from multiple angles. I started eating a plant-based diet, meditating, exercising, taking ice baths, etc. I quit alcohol and weed again. Tapering my caffeine down below 100mg again.
I was starting to feel better. Even got my testosterone levels all the way up to 575ng/D
The girl who lived..
Sorry about the Harry Potter references...
Just when I thought it was over, another curve ball to my health goals. Something that would start the lack of sleep cycle all over again.
You guessed it.. another child! This time, there was a baby girl in my house. This new baby came with new challenges. Our daughter was born with cataracts. She had to have surgery at around 3 months old to get them removed. So not only did we have to deal with the lack of sleep stress again, and boy did she excel in that area, we had to deal with putting contacts in a baby...
Imagine a grown man squeezing their fist closed. And you have to delicately open up their fist, and place a sticky note on their palm without bending the paper. And the grown man is also having a seizure at the same time. Also, you haven't slept a quality night of sleep for weeks.
Needless to say, but I'm going to say it, our stress levels shot through the roof. We had new worries and fears about our daughter's condition and the caffeine cycle ramped back up again. All while trying to focus on my new career in IT and raising our other child.
Testosterone Replacement Therapy
I think sometime early 2023, a friend told me he was on Testosterone replacement therapy (TRT). I knew my low test levels were due to stress, caffeine use, lack of sleep, belly fat, poor eating habits, etc. But I was desperate for some edge that would help me finally quit caffeine and get healthy again.
I thought, if I can use Testosterone to help me get healthy, then I can get off of it later and not suffer any consequences.
Boy was I wrong
TRT did give me more drive and gusto to get stuff done. It also made me work harder than my body wanted. I started getting more back pain from harder weightlifting session, I actually started doing more caffeine, and even weed again. I was like 6 years clean from weed at this point.
This made me over confident. Like I could handle anything, which led to poor decisions. I felt like a horny teenager and it made it hard to focus. I started masturbating furiously..
After 4 months stabbing myself in the ass, and draining my life essence, I decided to quit TRT cold turkey. I knew this wasn't what I needed.
Withdrawals from TRT were bearable. I had waves of depression, lack of energy, etc. But I got through it. I'll probably get my levels tested again soon. As I write this, I have been off of TRT for 12 months now.
I leaned more heavily on caffeine while I was coming off of TRT. My current levels are around 400mg per day. But tapering off is my primary focus. Or maybe I should try cold turkey again? Not sure how I can afford to be a useless zombie for weeks while I have a full time job and 2 kids to look after.
"Semen retention" and NoFap
For years, I had made half ass attempts at doing No Fap and quitting porn. The benefits claimed by people who have tried it are:

• Increased energy
• Vigor
• Willpower
• Can function on less sleep
• Increased confidenc
• Better focus and concentration
• Muscle growth
• Increased Libido

I started to read some books about the topic. This big two were "Your Brain on Porn" and "Cupid's Poisoned Arrow". These books took a more Science-based approach. There were also a couple books that were a little off tilt such as "Bliss of the Celibate" and "Why You Should Never Masturbate". These books included a lot of hokey about chakras and religion.
I never made it passed two weeks.
After TRT, I decided to give it a real go. NoFap/ Semen retention felt like my final try at getting an "edge". I lasted over a month. Just around the 3 week mark, I had felt the same benefits of TRT without all of the negatives. I also learned, that you have to be all in.
Any sexual thoughts had to be banished. Just think of something else. If you entertain lust at all, you will fail. Stay off social media where you may run into soft porn, which can start the spiral that leads you to porn, etc.
I was able to control my caffeine intake finally, my sleep was better, my wife was more attracted to me, I was more patient with the kids. I finally found the answer.
But then, I relapsed. And lost sight of the benefits. I had forgotten.
Slowly everything started slipping again. With small nofap stints here and there never lasting more than two weeks.
As I write this, I am realizing that caffeine was never my problem. It was a symptom of something else. I am currently on day 6 of retention and have made it my number one priority again. I need to remember this. I need my edge back.
The journey continues..
Life is full of ups and downs. And decisions you make (good or bad) compound over time. I know all of the positive effort, and commitment to personal development has paid off over time. Even though it may have been slower than I had hoped.
This story leaves out a lot. But I'd love to have a conversation with anyone who has had similar struggles. I have been going at this alone. I can only imagine how much more growth there can be surrounding yourself with like-minded individual
Ta Ta for Now.

Actually he is my uncle but he has been the father figure since I was around 10. I'm 23 now.
So I did something (cooked some onion) and he commented about how "that's not how it's done". I thought it was (mistakenly so) so I said "it is done like this". He repeats himself and so do I two or three times, after which he was getting visibly angry. Just his face, he was actually containing it, which was apparent.
But this was enough to trigger me (if you wish to know why this was triggering I have a post about it, trigger warning for physical violence and humiliation). He started to leave after doing some explaining and when he was walking away I said smt like "you're already getting crazy!" (Which in our language sounds kinda worse but idk how to translate) Meaning the visible anger on his face that triggered me was overreacting to me just contradicting him. Supposedly, me just bluntly replying "yes it's done like this" is provocative.
Anyways after hearing that he comes back and gets in my face. He wasn't going to hit me, that's "in the past", but he feinted and I turned my head, expecting a hit. Somehow we ended up talking for like two hours, there were many points we both wanted to get across to the other and I doubt there was much mutual understanding , but what's relevant to this post is that he made it known that things would be "worse" if I ever spoke to him like that. That he would beat me if I called him an idiot.
He showed me how he has been containing himself all this time, and that even know after saying you're going crazy he didn't hit me. That's true.
He said he really hates being offended. He told me that one time when he asked a worker that was doing stuff in our house for something, the dude just turned his back to him and my dad screamed so loudly the dude was startled. Like did a little jump.
I'm like: you think that's good for your health? You've been containing your temper lately, you think it's good? Repressing it even further will only make it worse in the long run and you will stop being so effective at restraining yourself when you want to. He seems to think he knows a thing or two about psychology so he replied with condescension at my suggestion that he needs to fix the anger issues instead of just controlling himself when they arise. Whatever.
It sucks. What's even worse is that most lf the time he is normal. Like 999/1000 times. Our baseline is good terms right now. But my subconscious still remembers, I haven't unpacked all those things yet. I don't like knowing that my father would beat me up for offending him. I don't like not saying something to him (even if it is calling him stupid) only because of fear of physical responses.
I told him many things, like how it sucks fearing my own father and he said "don't provoque me then".I painted a hypothetical situation in which I called him an idiot to ask him what would happen if he didn't react in an aggressive/violent manner, he replied and finished with "but better never call me that". I was like "wouldn't you stop to think why would your son call you that? Why would anybody call their dad that way if everything was good? Or why I said you were getting crazy?" And whatever the fuck his reply was to that it probably boiled down to "you have no business saying those things". Sure, calling someone an idiot isn't good. Focus on that. .
My repressed emotions to his attitude all this years were there in the conversation. I kept stopping because the knot in my throat wouldn't let me talk, tears on my eyes. This didn't seem to communicate anything to him.
I wonder what I'll do when I get stronger than him. I'd be so tempted to start something just to show him he can't overpower me anymore. I wouldn't even hit him, just restrain him and faking a hit just so he sees what it feels like. Even then, I don't think it compares to an adult doing that to a kid or teenager. He has heart issues though, and as much as I wish for payback, I feel like his rage would be so much worse after being restrained that his heart could worsen (also I understand revenge makes no real sense, forgive them Father for they not what they do, if he could understand he would).
Anyway. We hadn't had an altercation like this in a while, and it's the first time I actually said something like that to him. He won't hit me if I don't insult him. But his intimidating nature is still present at times, for example when I don't listen to him and stubbornly oppose him (it happens sometimes but I only with him, surprised?) And knowing he can get like violent or just verbally aggressive doesn't make the "good times" worth it. He is a "good charismatic person" basically all the time except when these things happen. But I'm at odds with the fact that if I ever fail to contain my subconscious resentment to him and call him something (motherfucker, idiot, stupid high-iq but low-eq controlling dumbfuck) I'll get beat up. I understand that healing is on me to stop walking on eggshells when he is around, but I'm starting to dislike him on a more conscious level now. Which is confusing too because everytime I've brought this up to my mother, she seemed to understand part of how I was feeling, but ultimately it boiled down to "he's family and will catch a bullet for you, will always drop anything he is doing when we need help". WHICH IS TRUE BUT I DON'T CARE
AITAH for wanting to keep interactions with him at the bare minimum?
EDIT: I'd love to move out. I live with my mom, grandma and grandpa. He lives in the city and comes by 1/2/3 times a week, frequently spending the night or two. I still love them, and especially my mom and her parents, but being able to fuck off whenever I need to without resorting to going some place or park would be great. But I can't. I'd put an extremely tough burden on my mom, she'd have no live left: she works a lot, grandpa is getting very old but main thing is taking care of my grandma, there are some things like lifting her that only I can do because grandpa is too old and uncle can't due to some tendon issues on his arms. Besides the option to start earning a metric shitload of money to retire her and be able to afford 24/7 elderly care personnel, do you have any ideas about how to approach this?
EDIT: at some point he brought up the "how much love we gave you" situation. Now here is what disturbs me. It's true, I've been given tons of love, patience, opoortunities, the works, not only from the rest of the family but from him as well. So I imagine myself as a parent that loves their kid so much, and then I imagine myself intimidating him because he called me crazy, or hitting him because he didn't listen and did something different from what we had agreed on, behind my back, for the millionth time. It feels wrong, it feels ignorant. I'd be wondering why the fuck does my son agree to do a certain thing and when it comes time to it, he does a different one. I'd start thinking about why he keeps lying about school grades, failing to pass the year even when he sees how bad it stresses his mother out... Instead of hitting him in the face with a closed fist (but hey, it wasn't full force!!) because he keeps lying and driving his mom crazy.
But hey, that's me. I'm "not the one to teach him about psychology"
TLDR: father is very intimidating sometimes and capable of violence if I offend (as in insult) him. We talked for 2 hours I expressed him my concerns and his response boils down to "don't provoque me and we'll be good". Provocation is "reasonable", he had never screamed at me or put a hand on me for leaving the lights on or breaking smt or whatever some very abusive parents out there do, but for "insulting, lying repeatedly driving us crazy". And since he is only aggressive in a justifiable way, it would seem weird and sad to the rest of my family when they notice I'm getting cold to him and keeping interaction in the house to a minimum. They wouldn't fully get it, I know because I talked to my mom several times at least and while she seems to understand a bit she will beg me to "fix things with him". And to them it will boil down to something like "he does this because his dad can beat him for calling him an idiot? What did he expect?"

Apologies for this one being so late; Been sick for the last week or so, and the friday i was meant to post this, I think from memory I was busy :/ But I'm starting to get back into the swing of things, and the Glossary Addendum has also had a bit of an overhaul :D I'll be applying that tonight as well, to each of the currently released chapters.
[First] [Glossary Addendum] [Previous]
[From the Abyss Artisanry, Wolfreach Commercial District, Halsion Reach Region, Haldios IV, 12th of Emheraldis, 5011 TE]
[Boltz] The door chimed, though it sounded... Off today, and I sighed. I'd have to replace the old beeper with something else now that it had broken. As I walked towards the counter, I heard Chit's voice from around the corner as she said,
"I'll be right with you!" I frowned, noticing the strain in her voice. I stepped around the counter and poked my head around the corner, and then immediately rushed to help. She was trying to move a Draekkan mace, and causing gouges in the floor as she dragged the heavy weapon.
"Seriously? Leave Draekkan weapons to me, beloved." I said, and Chit nodded as I lifted the massive, spiked club-like weapon. Made of Luunic steel, the metal was cool against my hand as I cautiously hefted it, a dark blue color akin to the Lunwatch sky on a clear night with few stars. I slowly walked over to the storage racks, and hung the mace on a pair of large hooks. Then I turned back to my lover, and looked her up and down for injuries.
Finding none, I shook my head with another sigh. "Well at least you didn't hurt yourself on it." I said, stepping up to her and wrapping my arms around her lower back. I pulled her cool body towards mine, and she happily melted into my embrace. Chuckling, I planted a kiss on her hair, and gently ran a finger down one of her drit'onthke. Her entire body shivered and she giggled, before wrapping her arms around me and giving me a tight hug.
"So what's on the list for today?" I asked, resting my cheek on her head.
"Just a few armour sets which need some minor repairs, thankfully." Chit replied. I nodded, and then the beeper went off, indicating a customer.
"Solahra's Light, what an awful noise to greet a customer with!" A deep, male-sounding canine voice rumbled from out in the customer area. We reluctantly pulled apart and both went out to see what he needed.

As Chit rounded the corner, she automatically greeted the customer by saying,
"Welcome to From the Abyss Artisanry, how can we help today?" But as I stepped around after her, I froze. The canine man was holding a box filled with shattered pieces of art, it looked like. I stepped closer and realised that they weren't shattered pieces of art, at least not in the traditional sense. Rather, they were the parts of what was formerly a weapon. I felt my eyes widen as I realised what it was. I looked at the canine man, and realised he was a Labardon. I looked back at the pieces of plasma caster, which appeared to, on closer inspection, actually have catastrophically failed at a structural level upon attempting to fire a shot.
"I went to the Lunhaekin blacksmith over in Aellandendil, cos they said that fishing my ancestral plasma caster would be an exceedingly simple affair. Instead, the next time I went to fire it, the blasted thing fell apart in my hands!" The man growled, and then asked,
"How bad is it... Is... Is there any way to restore it?" His eyes went wide as if to wordlessly plead with me, and I gestured for him to give me the box of parts. He hesitantly handed the box over and I gently placed it on the counter before pulling out one of the furcloth rolls underneath and unravelling it. Then, one by one, I pulled out each of the pieces, and with each new item, my heart sank.

This would not be a simple fix of just re-assembling the pieces. I let out a heavy sigh, and, leaning on the counter, covered my mouth with the side of my hand while looking at the arrayed parts.
"This is... At this point you might as well just buy a new plasma caster." I said finally, still looking at the parts. I looked up at the man and said,
"If I reconstruct this, because that's what it will take, a full reconstruction, it WILL cost more than buying a new caster." I looked down at the parts again, and swore under my breath.
"The focusing plate has been shattered, and those things are near indestructible when carved right, the prism chamber is cracked, so that's no good any more, and the magnetic acceleration rings..." I trailed off, and swallowed before looking up at the man.
"They're not rings any more..." I whispered, and the man's face seemed to break.
"Is there anything we can salvage of the original parts?" He asked, his voice shaky. I looked down at the parts, and realised that there was just one piece that was fully intact. With a mirthless chuckle, I picked it up.
"The plasma compression chamber. That's it." I laid the small metallic chamber down again, and sighed.
"The rest is just... Junk. Scrap even." I shook my head, running the numbers in my head. When I finished, I swore again, and dropped the bombshell.
"You're looking at around fifty thousand in parts alone." I said, and the canine's shoulders slumped.
"If that's the price it takes..." He said.
"I will try and recover as much material as I can though; I might be able to melt down the mag rings for example and re-energise them."

[A Cycle Later...]
[Chit'eiwu]
The Labardon stepped into the store, a simple digital bell sounding, and he sighed, his tail wagging a little as he did so.
"Much better than last time!" He joked, and Jakob walked around the corner holding a box, grinning from ear to ear.
"Just in time, good sir!" He exclaimed. He set down the box, and the Labardon's gaze instantly honed in on it. Jakob laid a hand on the lid, and said,
"Behold, your restored heritage!" And with that, he lifted the lid like he was proposing to the customer, and the canine's eyes lit up, his tail suddenly zipping back and forth as though it were some kind of demented metronome. As he lifted the ancient weapon, my own eyes widened; It was truly a thing of beauty.

[Boltz]
I smiled as the Labardon man admired my handiwork, and in a voice that sounded like it was half pure air, he whispered,
"It's as beautiful as the day my sire first showed it to me..." My smile widened, and I said,
"I was able to salvage more than I thought, in the end. I managed to keep the primary focus cone; I simply had to melt and recast it due to a crack in it, the laser projector's crystal matrix casing also was salvageable, though I did have to replace the crystal matrix. So it now has a Kaurine crystal for providing the first round of focusing." The man froze, and his gaze flicked to me. His hands still raise, he asked,
"A Kaurine crystal? Genuine?" I nodded.
"Cut the crystal free from the rock myself." I replied. The man laid the plasma caster on the counter gently, though it rattled slightly from his shaking paws as he ceased to support it.
"My sire said that it originally had a Shell crystal as its matrix..." He said, voice trembling as much as his paws.
"They are great crystals for energy conduction as well as for energy focusing. It took a bit to set the frequency for the right channels though." He nodded, and shakily handed over his Orionpay card. I handed it to Chit'eiwu, right as he asked,
"So how much was it all up?" I grinned and replied,
"An even fifty five thousand." He blinked, and asked,
"But... the crystal... Surely that alone would be a few hundred thousand!" I shook my head, and replied,
"It's not a Blade. And it doesn't need to be anywhere near as big. Only came to around three thousand." He nodded, and Chit'eiwu input the numbers and scanned the card. The system registered a successful transaction, and she handed the man back his card.
"Thank you for choosing From the Abyss Artisanry!" I said, and he nodded, his eyes turning shiny with unshed tears.
"No, thank you. All of my friends will be hearing about this, and you will be my first stop for anything artisanal." I nodded to him, and he left, carefully cradling the restored plasma caster in its box. Looking over to the clock, I noticed that it was indicating less than an hour before Lunrise. I jerked my head towards Chit'eiwu and asked,
"Think we should close up the shop early, or wait until Soldown before we stop operating?" She looked up at the clock as well, then back to me, and shook her head.
"No, I think we can afford to close early this evening." I nodded, and pressed the button to activate the end of Watch sign system, and a moment later, a holosign in the window came to life and began a 10 minute countdown.

We always did the countdown so that prospective customers knew how long they had to enter to the store before we stopped taking new customers prior to closing down for the Lunwatch. As usually happened however, the sign completed its countdown and flicked to the "Closed" display, and I pressed a second button to lock the door remotely, and arm the security system. As I did so, Chit'eiwu walked into the apartment, and soon after, I heard the sound of her cooking. I smiled, knowing that she was bound to make an incredible dinner as per usual, and let out a contented sigh as the system went through the arming process. Life with her was... Good. Not necessarily great by any stretch of the imagination; Most of our days were spent working after all. But it was at least a good life. A life I was more than happy to lead.

When the system indicated full armed status some minutes later, I followed my aquatic lover into our home behind and above the shop, and arrived just in time for her to serve up dinner. As I sat down, a stupid grin spread across my face as I beheld what she had cooked up. On the plate was a kind of "nest" made of purple coloured strands of pasta, and topped off with a green-sauced mince of some kind. I looked up at my lover, who was watching me expectantly. My grin refusing to go away, I obliged her apparent intent, and used a fork to collect some mince with sauce, and some of the pasta.

As the food reached my mouth, it was like an explosion of flavours; An earthy, slightly spicy flavour issued forth from the sauce, and the mince tasted somewhat like yuron, a kind of cattle animal from Zehllukarn Prime, and it was followed up by a surprisingly sweet flavour from the pasta as it rotated around in my mouth as I chewed. Swallowing, I said,
"This is incredible! I can't even properly describe it; it's... It's like an explosion of all different flavours coming together in my mouth!" Chit's face turned a fierce azure, and my grin widened. The grin morphing into a smirk, I added,
"You're definitely getting rewarded this Lunwatch, beloved."

[A Few Hours Later...]

[Boltz]

As Chit'eiwu walked into the bedroom we shared upstairs, I put the dishes from our dinner into the automatic dishwasher, and followed her up. As I reached the laundry room, I stripped off my clothes from the Solwatch, and tossed them expertly into the laundry, each garment hitting the wall and bouncing off slightly to fall into the clothes basket waiting below, before walking into the bedroom entirely unclad. Chit'eiwu was laying in the bed, the blanket covering her amethyst body from view, and in such a way that I knew that she too had put her clothes in the laundry. I walked around the bed, and pulled down the blanket to get in beside her, and after that, things turn rather hazy for a little while.

[A Week Later...]

[Chit'Eiwu]
Jakob and I stepped off of the transport, hand-in-grasper, him looking absolutely divine in a glacial blue suit with silver trimmings, seeming to be a walking ice sculpture. Complimenting him, I opted for a taste of my birthplace; Trimmed with onyx hems, I was wearing a deep, abyssal purple dress, showing off my relatively lighter purple skin, becoming a shadow of the Abyss to act as the dark counterpart to my Warrior of the Overwaves. I looked towards him as we stepped inside the Fortress of Kaur'Ainda together for the first time since I was Ascended by both him and Cewa together.
He looked back at me, smiled and squeezed my hand reassuringly, before saying over our rarely-used connection,
There's no need to be nervous; It's just a Greenmarch Feast, my Siren. As I did every time he called me that, I giggled; At first I had been confused by him calling me an alarm sound, until he showed me one of the few surviving Terran records from... Wherever it was that they came from. Terran, or at the time, Human, women of extraordinary beauty, totally uncovered, and singing some kind of song that lured male sailors to their deaths.
Then he had sent me an image of how he viewed me; My plain purple skin instead appeared almost... Luminous, and my average green eyes were glittering emerald gems. My hair, an equally unremarkable azure, was a brilliant blue that resembled the Azuresheet high above even the Overwaves, and in his mind's eye, my cheeks were flushed slightly blue. I had never considered myself to be attractive by any means; In the Abyss I would have struggled to find a mate...
But here in the Overwaves? I had been chosen by a Terran, that enigmatic, smooth-skinned, near-prey-like biped species who were renowned for absurd feats of strength and endurance. I was not as fragile as I seemed, even before my Ascension...
But Jakob seemed to realise that early on; The first time we lay together, an eye-rolling, mind-erasing experience, he showed such gentleness that it was hard to believe the stories... Until the very next day when I had struggled to move a shipment of materials that had come in, even barely raising it, and he had simply come in and told me to let it go, before seeming to effortlessly pick up the heavy box and carry it into the Forge, before placing it down and rapidly sorting the material inside for me. I had asked him about it, and his response was a mere shrug, and to say, It wasn't that heavy for me; Absolutely awkward, but not anything that will break my back.

In the present, we stepped into the Great Hall, and froze. It had been totally transformed, becoming a verdant green forest canopy under which wooden tables seemingly made from the trunks of trees, with seats formed from sections of log from great tree branches. Seiranha saw us enter, and rushed over to greet us.
"Boltz! Chit!" She exclaimed, and hugged us both in turn. It felt... Odd, to be given a hug by a Vampyris, but this particular one was a friend, and so I happily returned the hug, albeit reluctantly letting go of Jakob's hand to do so. We held the hug for a few eternal moments, before she let go and did the same to Jakob, who greeted her warmly.
"You look great!" Jakob said to the Vampyris warrior, and she blushed a deep golden color on her pale cream skin. It looked almost like golden Skyblaze rays were touching her cheeks as she giggled. But Jakob was right; She was garbed in a flowing set of obviously ceremonial armour which appeared to have been made by first weaving a suit of leaves, and then attaching segments of bark to the resulting garment. And combined with her silver-in-crimson eyes...
"You look sort of like a vengeful forest spirit in this armour, Master Seiranha!" I said, and the woman grinned.
"That's sort of the idea. Not many people remember that the spirits of the forests of all our worlds yet live... And for those who do not respect the forest's inhabitants, only death can be anticipated, or worse."

Over the course of what remained of the Solwatch, we enjoyed the Greenmarch Feast, and soon enough, it was time to scatter to our homes once again, to rest away the overindulgences of the Feast.

[Boltz]
As the transport landed at the Wolfreach starport, Chit and I walked down the ramp, though she was somewhat unsteady on her legs. Chuckling, I asked her,
"Would you like me to carry you home?" She looked at me, her face blazing sapphire, but through our connection, she, apparently not realising she was 'speaking', replied, I thought you'd never ask... My mighty Skybright, carrying me like an Inkle in his powerful arms... As the thought travelled over our connection the azure spread, and I shook my head with a grin. I really was the luckiest guy in the Reach to have landed such an exotic life partner. She happily stepped in closer to me, and I swept her off her feet, much to her almost drunken delight, and she let out a whoop of surprise.
However, as her intoxicated brain realised what had happened, she melted into my embrace, burbling away in my ear as though she had been returned to her youngest of Watches. I was all too happy to carry my lover home of course; The sound of her tripled heartbeat like a three-beat rhythm pulsed against my own heart, and her emerald gaze was transfixed on my face, the look in those beautiful green orbs one of utter and complete adoration.

After around 10 minutes, we reached the shop, and I swiped my wristcomm over the new sensor, first up-down, then right-left. The two-part verification proved my identity, and the door swung open automatically, a recent addition I had also made. As we cleared the door, I swept my foot around and behind me to close the door again, and carried Chit to the bedroom in our apartment, before laying her gently down on the bed, and saying,
"Unfortunately, I've gotta take that incredible dress off you or it will be ruined in your sleep." Chit vaguely nodded, and I helped her stand back up. Having done this routine together before, she laid her arms on my shoulders for added balancing support, and I bent down to grab the bottom of the dress, before slowly pulling it up to her chest. Feeling the garment fully above her hips, Chit carefully sat down on the bed, and I carefully pulled the dress up and over her head, then down her arms.

Turning around, I draped the dress across a nearby dresser, smoothing out any wrinkles in it, and then returned my attention to my lover, who was now completely undressed. Once again taking up the role of caregiver, I wrapped an arm around her and scooped her up once more before laying her on the bed sideways, where she let out a small gasp as the cold fabric touched her bare skin. I gave her a reassuring smile and said,
"I'll have you nice and warm soon enough, Heartstreasure." And with that, I stripped off my own suit, carefully draping it over a chair, and then pulled off the underwear I had worn for the Feast, and climbed under the covers beside Chit. Upon feeling me enter the bed, she shifted over, hissing a bit as she moved off the warmed area, and melted her body against my own. As she settled into a comfortable position, one of her legs across mine, she said through repeated yawns,
"May... May you swim... With the... Blessing of... Of Drynedaea... My.... Sky-Warrior..." Chuckling as I wrapped an arm around her back, I kissed her gently on the forehead and over our connection, replied,
"May Luunah Guard your Dreams, Heartstreasure of the Depths." And with that, as if it were a cue, Chit's breathing shifted to become deep and regular, and the sound along with the rising and falling of her amethyst chest against my skin sung its own siren song, dragging me down into...
[Next: To Tread the Shaded Path]

Actually he is my uncle but he has been the father figure since I was around 10. I'm 23 now.
So I did something (cooked some onion) and he commented about how "that's not how it's done". I thought it was (mistakenly so) so I said "it is done like this". He repeats himself and so do I two or three times, after which he was getting visibly angry. Just his face, he was actually containing it, which was apparent.
But this was enough to trigger me (if you wish to know why this was triggering I have a post about it, trigger warning for physical violence and humiliation). He started to leave after doing some explaining and when he was walking away I said smt like "you're already getting crazy!" (Which in our language sounds kinda worse but idk how to translate) Meaning the visible anger on his face that triggered me was overreacting to me just contradicting him. Supposedly, me just bluntly replying "yes it's done like this" is provocative.
Anyways after hearing that he comes back and gets in my face. He wasn't going to hit me, that's "in the past", but he feinted and I turned my head, expecting a hit. Somehow we ended up talking for like two hours, there were many points we both wanted to get across to the other and I doubt there was much mutual understanding , but what's relevant to this post is that he made it known that things would be "worse" if I ever spoke to him like that. That he would beat me if I called him an idiot.
He showed me how he has been containing himself all this time, and that even know after saying you're going crazy he didn't hit me. That's true.
He said he really hates being offended. He told me that one time when he asked a worker that was doing stuff in our house for something, the dude just turned his back to him and my dad screamed so loudly the dude was startled. Like did a little jump.
I'm like: you think that's good for your health? You've been containing your temper lately, you think it's good? Repressing it even further will only make it worse in the long run and you will stop being so effective at restraining yourself when you want to. He seems to think he knows a thing or two about psychology so he replied with condescension at my suggestion that he needs to fix the anger issues instead of just controlling himself when they arise. Whatever.
It sucks. What's even worse is that most lf the time he is normal. Like 999/1000 times. Our baseline is good terms right now. But my subconscious still remembers, I haven't unpacked all those things yet. I don't like knowing that my father would beat me up for offending him. I don't like not saying something to him (even if it is calling him stupid) only because of fear of physical responses.
I told him many things, like how it sucks fearing my own father and he said "don't provoque me then".I painted a hypothetical situation in which I called him an idiot to ask him what would happen if he didn't react in an aggressive/violent manner, he replied and finished with "but better never call me that". I was like "wouldn't you stop to think why would your son call you that? Why would anybody call their dad that way if everything was good? Or why I said you were getting crazy?" And whatever the fuck his reply was to that it probably boiled down to "you have no business saying those things". Sure, calling someone an idiot isn't good. Focus on that. .
My repressed emotions to his attitude all this years were there in the conversation. I kept stopping because the knot in my throat wouldn't let me talk, tears on my eyes. This didn't seem to communicate anything to him.
I wonder what I'll do when I get stronger than him. I'd be so tempted to start something just to show him he can't overpower me anymore. I wouldn't even hit him, just restrain him and faking a hit just so he sees what it feels like. Even then, I don't think it compares to an adult doing that to a kid or teenager. He has heart issues though, and as much as I wish for payback, I feel like his rage would be so much worse after being restrained that his heart could worsen (also I understand revenge makes no real sense, forgive them Father for they not what they do, if he could understand he would).
Anyway. We hadn't had an altercation like this in a while, and it's the first time I actually said something like that to him. He won't hit me if I don't insult him. But his intimidating nature is still present at times, for example when I don't listen to him and stubbornly oppose him (it happens sometimes but I only with him, surprised?) And knowing he can get like violent or just verbally aggressive doesn't make the "good times" worth it. He is a "good charismatic person" basically all the time except when these things happen. But I'm at odds with the fact that if I ever fail to contain my subconscious resentment to him and call him something (motherfucker, idiot, stupid high-iq but low-eq controlling dumbfuck) I'll get beat up. I understand that healing is on me to stop walking on eggshells when he is around, but I'm starting to dislike him on a more conscious level now. Which is confusing too because everytime I've brought this up to my mother, she seemed to understand part of how I was feeling, but ultimately it boiled down to "he's family and will catch a bullet for you, will always drop anything he is doing when we need help". WHICH IS TRUE BUT I DON'T CARE
AITAH for wanting to keep interactions with him at the bare minimum?
EDIT: I'd love to move out. I live with my mom, grandma and grandpa. He lives in the city and comes by 1/2/3 times a week, frequently spending the night or two. I still love them, and especially my mom and her parents, but being able to fuck off whenever I need to without resorting to going some place or park would be great. But I can't. I'd put an extremely tough burden on my mom, she'd have no live left: she works a lot, grandpa is getting very old but main thing is taking care of my grandma, there are some things like lifting her that only I can do because grandpa is too old and uncle can't due to some tendon issues on his arms. Besides the option to start earning a metric shitload of money to retire her and be able to afford 24/7 elderly care personnel, do you have any ideas about how to approach this?
EDIT: at some point he brought up the "how much love we gave you" situation. Now here is what disturbs me. It's true, I've been given tons of love, patience, opoortunities, the works, not only from the rest of the family but from him as well. So I imagine myself as a parent that loves their kid so much, and then I imagine myself intimidating him because he called me crazy, or hitting him because he didn't listen and did something different from what we had agreed on, behind my back, for the millionth time. It feels wrong, it feels ignorant. I'd be wondering why the fuck does my son agree to do a certain thing and when it comes time to it, he does a different one. I'd start thinking about why he keeps lying about school grades, failing to pass the year even when he sees how bad it stresses his mother out... Instead of hitting him in the face with a closed fist (but hey, it wasn't full force!!) because he keeps lying and driving his mom crazy.
But hey, that's me. I'm "not the one to teach him about psychology"

Tiny mentioned on stream the other day that we need to start cooking up some strategies for tearing apart common talking points we might run into. Figured I'd kick it off with this thread - dont care about I/P or anti lefty stuff so going to focus on election rhetoric
Talking Points for the Election

1. What has Biden done?

We cant use this much at home but if someone whips this out in a talk with Destiny this is probably one of the biggest slam dunks he can get. A professional political commentator openly admitting they haven't kept up with the latest legislation is damning, and it gets a followup - "If you actually followed what was happening you might've known that the policy you said you loved so much with Trump was actually put into practice by Biden" (China tariffs are a huge win for Joe)

1. Senility

The first response to this is always to call it theater. If they push, you pivot this into "If he's senile then why is everything going right?". This is a big point for destiny - you *have* to stop pivoting away from "do you even like biden?" to "wait but trump is worse." Biden has genuine positives you should be leaning on, and at this point people are good at people picking up on that particular pivot so it often ends up looking very political and potentially dishonest. Its especially important to bring up the wins that are bipartisan or that have appealed to any of the versions of the republican party over the last 20 years

1. Immigration

I notice Destiny generally avoids asking questions in arguments because he thinks it can lose for rhetorical reasons, but this is a spot I think it works really well - you lead in with "What issue do you have with Biden's immigration policy?" and when they follow up with one of their halfbaked answers you cut them off with "no no no, whats your issue with *Biden*'s immigration policy?". The point is you want to direct the conversation to the bill thats currently on the floor of congress and either A) fuck them for not knowing about the bill or B) win the back and forth on what you like or dont like about the bill

1. Wokeness

Tiny's been doing great on this topic lately, downplaying the role of college students and throwing a few zingers to show how stupid it is to base political discourse off some suped up 18 year old. The broader followup to make here is you want to make it clear to the audience that you think the democratic party is moving away from immigration and woke. Having this observation aired is so insanely strong among neutral / conservative audiences its almost criminal not slip it in somehow. Destiny's already has it is in arsenal to mention how the far left hasn't seemed to infiltrate the actual democratic party very far, however I think he can be much stronger on this point and you can use the recent immigration bill to group that in here as well

1. "Trump came up with it first!"

Yea but you need an adult to put it into practice. Easy shot. Using rhetoric to consistently frame trump as juvenile or incompetent is super important, and it works x10 if you slip it in on a separate point (because they cant respond to both your point and your insinuation)

1. "But people clearly like the guy!"

The most piers morgan take you can get, takes some tact but you should be able to turn this into your favor by slipping in a "well people like a lot of dumb shit" and then go into a longer point either about celebrity worship or about how the dont focus on policy. Potential TMZ zinger here? Also, when you do this dont say republicans, say "The trump movement" or something similar. Simple word change to make it appeal to tradcons

1. You're just saying that to be a contrarian!

This goes for any point where they try to come up with a background reason for what you're saying. I remember this specifically happening in the candace debate, but it comes up all the time. This is an opportunity because it actually gives you a chance to frame your position in your own words. I'll get into this more in the optics section but pivoting this into "No, I believe this because I've always believed in [good thing]" or "No I believe it because I've read [relevant document] and I found the evidence compelling / hard to deny".

1. Ukraine - Isolationism / The libertarian position

"Just ignore the world until its on your doorstep". Easy zingers here
Content / "Optics" Analysis for Mr. Tiny

1. Clips & Breakdowns

We just had a post this week asking for Destiny to do video essays - that shit's stupid, but its the right energy and a good litmus test for what people are looking for. The way Destiny makes this work is by taking the explanations he already does on stream - you know, when someone asks him a good question in chat and he does the little drawings - and [aieifndc] that into a machine. First step is to approach it correctly - dont wait for the good question to be asked. Come in to the stream ready to launch into an explanation on immigration, I/P, trump lawsuits, vaccine conspiracies, etc. When you find what you want, clip it and edit it either into 8 minutes for youtube or 15s for tiktok and let the algo gods do their thing. You make high quality content because you're generally knowledgeable on the topics at hand - lean on that, the higher quality your explanation the more likely someone's going to share it to their friends

1. Topic Selection

We have a number of opinions we believe, which of those opinions do we lean on to serve me best in this conversation? This is the main game you play if you're ever trying to be smart *and& honest about talking politics. For Destiny this means - younger audiences you lean on anti-conspiracies and avoid I/P, for boomers you focus on bipartisan issues and interest rates, for rightwingers and libertarians mention the guns you have and talk about how much you love america.

1. Positive Optics - Research Streams and dunking on Conspiracy Theorists

Tuning into a destiny stream to see that he brought two lawyers on to read through the latest trump case earned an unbelievable amount of respect for him in my head, I bring it up every time he comes and people are rightfully impressed - this is positive optics. Many aspects of Destiny's day to day work are incredibly impressive and a breath of fresh air to the average joe learning about his work, nearly every American is going to have respect for the guy who actually reads the bills and court cases he's talking about. So yeah, mention that shit more.
Destiny completely underestimates how crucial his takes on conspiracies are right now. When my uncle brings up voting machines or bats in China, I have no idea what to say - Destiny does. You see that big write up I did for talking points about the election? *Nobody* has the anti-conspiracy version of that talking point list - except Destiny. Voters under 26 dont give a fuck about the economy or healthcare, give them ammo to fire at the nutjob on the other end of the dinner table and they'll be willing to look past whatever stupid slur crusade you're on this week.

1. Chummy Buddies :)

"I dont see any possible argument for trump so Im really curious what Ben comes up with here" is possibly the only time I've seen Destiny tip into the most powerful rhetorical tactic of all time - camaraderie. When you kick off with some mildmannered joshing around, you give the impression you're just a couple of reasonable guys who happen to disagree on key topics. Americans splurge at even the idea of that scenario. The Trump supporter guy on the piers morgan appearances tries this approach a lot, and he's a good example of it - often makes concessions to Destiny's points in an effort to seem palatable & visibly laughs at a lot of oneliners from Destiny and Piers. It also throws the opponents off sometimes, because they feel like they cant get as combative when you're being friendly. Its also a good tactic in 2v2 debates, if it looks like you're super friendly with one of the two the other one comes off poorly

1. Hedging on I/P

"Hey listen I know its a contentious topic, I understand why people feel the way they do but from digging more into the topic its just really a lot more complicated from how it looks on the surface"

1. The Next Research

Pretty clear to me that Tiny was a bit disappointed by how shallow the immigration topic was, but this was the wrong perspective on it. Turns out, most of the crucial election topics are this simple. The only hard ones (I/P and the lawsuits) have already been covered. So if you make a big lineup of election topics there's good odds you're done with it by August - Economy, geopolitics, climate change, CHIPS act. I've noticed economics is something especially Destiny tries to toe around, interest rate stuff really isnt that complicated but hey maybe worth bringing Noah Smith on Bridges to help out (he's literally just written a piece on the economic arguments for Biden)

1. Bridges

Milking guests for followup guests. Sometimes you can just directly ask them who'd be a good fit, but its also just a generally good question to ask "Who are the prominent figures in the field right now?" "What books should be people be reading up on if they want to dive deeper?" (And then contact the author). For science and art features its always good to ask about recent work - "Is there any cool research you've seen in the past year or so that the public should be excited about?"

1. Commit to a position! State it clearly!

David Pakman's really good about this - he has a firm stance and he'll keep reiterating it throughout a conversation. Destiny OTOH tends to continuously circle around a conversation by adding evidence and making points - this is important, but if you dont state your point as well then it looks like you're avoiding giving an answer and people become confused on what your position is. The other thing is if people dont have a clear answer on what you believe, they'll start inferring it from the rest of the conversation - they have to guess, and that guess will never be favorable to you. A lot of conservative commentators *have* to circle the point because they dont have a position to stick to, there's no reason for Destiny to be doing it (and should be nailing the conservatives who rely on this tactic)
Thats all I got for now. Sorry in advance if there's any typos

(Originally posted to selfhosted)
Over the past few months, I've tested several self-hosted reverse proxy solutions for my local network and I decided to share my experience for anyone else in the market. Full disclosure: I'm not an advanced user, nor am I an authority on this subject whatsoever. I mainly use reverse proxies for accessing simple local services with SSL behind memorable URLs and haven't dipped my toes into anything more complex than integrating Authentik for SSO. I prefer file-based configuration, avoid complexity, and don't need advanced features; so this list certainly won't be valuable for everyone. Feel free to share your opinions; I'd love to hear what everyone else is using.
Here's my opinionated review of the reverse proxy solutions I've tried, ranked from most likely to recommend to newcomers to least likely:

1. Caddy: As easy as it could possibly get, and by far the most painless reverse proxy I've used. It's extremely lightweight, performant, and modular with plenty of extensions. Being able to configure my entire home network's reverse proxy hosts from a single, elegantly formatted Caddyfile is a godsend. Combined with the VS Code Server for easy configuration from a browser, I couldn't recommend a more painless solution for beginners who simply want to access their local services behind a TLD without browser warnings. Since I have my own FQDN through Cloudflare but don't have any public-facing services, I personally use the Cloudflare DNS provider Caddy addon to benefit from full SSL using just a single line of configuration. Though, if your setup is complex enough to require using the JSON config, or you rely heavily on Docker, you might also consider Traefik.
2. Traefik: Probably the most powerful and versatile option I've tried, with the necessary complexity and learning curve that entails. Can do everything Caddy can do, perhaps even better depending on who you ask. The Docker label configuration is fantastic, and I still use it on systems I haven't migrated away from Docker. I find the multiple approaches to configuration and the corresponding documentation hard to wrap my head around sometimes, but it always seems to pay off.
3. Zoraxy: Despite being relatively new, it's the best GUI-based reverse proxy solution I'm familiar with. I grew out of it quickly as it was missing very basic features like SSL via DNS challenges when I last tried it, but I'm still placing it high on the list solely for providing the only viable option for people with a phobia of config files that I currently know of. It also has a really sleek interface, although looks can be deceiving. YMMV.
4. NGINX: Old reliable. It's only this far down the list because I prefer Traefik over vanilla NGINX for more complex use cases these days and haven't used it for proxy purposes in recent memory. I have absolutely nothing bad to say about NGINX (besides finding the configuration a bit ugly) and I use it for public-facing services all the time. If you're already using NGINX, you probably have a good reason to, and this list will have zero value to you.
5. NGINX Proxy Manager: Unreliable. It's this far down the list because I'd prefer anything over NPM. Don't let its shiny user-friendly frontend fool you, as underneath lies a trove of deceit that will inevitably lead you down a rabbit hole of stale issues and nonexistent documentation. "I've been using NPM for months and have never had an issue with it." WRONG. By the time you've read this, half of your proxy hosts are offline, and the frontend login has inexplicably stopped working. Hyperbole aside, I recognize this may not be the case for everyone and if it works for you, good. For some reason I've never self-hosted anything as fragile and prone to sporadically breaking as NPM in its current state (which is especially unappealing for something you might be putting all of your self-hosted services behind. From what I can tell, development is primarily focused on a major overhaul (v3) rather than fixing current issues in v2. I'd recommend anything else until then, including nothing at all. Just my experience though, and I'm curious how common this sentiment is.

Honorable mentions:

• SWAG: Haven't used this one since I moved away from Docker, but I've seen it recommended a ton and it seems the linuxserver.io guys are held in pretty high regard. It's definitely worth a look if you use Docker or want an alternative Traefik.
• HAProxy: I didn't include it in the list because I was using the OPNsense addon and nearly went insane in the process. It might have just been the GUI, but it's the only reverse proxy solution I've used that made me actively feel like a moron. Definitely has its purpose, but I personally had no reason to keep putting myself through that.

I've watched a couple of streamers play through the 2.2 story line, and I think at least most of us can agree that the hsr dev team really cooked with this one. However, I think Shaoji was lying to us when he said that version 2.3 is just going to be an easy going epilogue.
​

1. Credits

The credits at the end of 2.2 \"true ending\"
This is probably one of the biggest red flags raised at the 2.2 ending. In hsr, credits have only appeared twice outside of the 2.2 story line:

1. In 1.0, if you choose not to board the Astral Express, the first fake ending plays and the credits roll. The game kicks you out and makes you restart it.
2. In 2.0, if you choose not to follow Aventurine to witness Robin's "death", another fake ending plays and the same procedure plays.

In 2.2, there are also two credits. One that we are analysing right now, another at the end of the end of Ena's dream. Again, the one at the end of Ena's dream can be considered a fake ending, where it seems like everything is good, the IPC chose peace over war, we get to go to any planet that we want and so on.
It's unusual for Hoyo to break this tradition, as credits are typically considered pretty important in all sorts of things, like movies or other games. Hence, I think the credits imply that we are not truly out of Penacony yet.
​

2. Firefly's third death

Firefly has become a very popular character within the community during Penacony. As a member of the Stellaron Hunters, she has received a script from Elio, mentioning that she would "die" three times in total in Penacony.
Currently, she has "died" twice. Once by the hands of Sleepie, who I totally did not farm for 100 times at the end of 2.0. Another time when she woke up to bring crucial information for everyone so that we could survive Ena's dream.
The third death has yet to occur, but as Firefly stated, as far as we are concerned, the script is impossible to defy. And yet, Shaoji said 2.3 is no more than an epilogue. Firefly's third death is unlikely to occur in nothing more that a "positive and wholesome" ending to Penacony's story.
​

3. Razalina, the third Nameless

Contrary to the other two Nameless that got off at Penacony, Mikhail and Tiernan, Razalina did not get a clear ending in 2.2. As one of the Nameless before us, it only makes sense for her to also have at least somewhat of a story line about her life. This is one of the major things that 2.3 probably has to talk about, unless we continue her story on another planet.
In 2.2, we only learned that she went into the hole in Penacony's memory zone. It is quite likely that we will learn more about her later in 2.3.
​
https://preview.redd.it/axehyxw8yy0d1.png?width=1031&format=png&auto=webp&s=9d6140b1ac02e7a7868eb0f67baa5c01891b9145
​

4. Who actually owns this dream?

As we can see from the screenshot above, Gopher Wood acted as "Dreammaster", while "Dreammaster" acted as Sunday's servant. However, from 2.2, it doesn't actually feel like Gopher Wood was Sunday's servant. In fact, it felt like quite the opposite.
This is further supported by the fact that Sunday explicitly states that Gopher Wood was not the one controlling the Stellaron and taking advantage of its power, yet the true mastermind behind the utilisation of the Stellaron is yet to be revealed.
Another suspicious "coincidence" is that the material "gopher wood" was used to construct Noah's Ark in the Bible. It is highly unlikely for this to be nothing more than a coincidence. The one who used gopher wood to construct the Ark was Noah, who was informed by God. Hence, it is very possible for there to be another final boss of Penacony.
Then, if Sunday was not the master of the dream, and Gopher Wood was not the master of the dream, and the Stellaron was controlled by neither of them, then who actually owns this "Ena's dream?". We might find out more about this in 2.3.
​

5. Sparkle

Sparkle is a masked fool, and a considerably important character in the Penacony arc. However, there are two major problems with her right now.
One, Sparkle has been handing out the denomination buttons. This has been happening since 2.0, given to Black Swan. At this point, both Robin and Sunday has one. 2.3 has to resolve this, likely with all of them going boom.
​
Sparkle's Button
Two, we know from Sparkle and Black Swan's companion mission that Sparkle was hired by someone. However, now that the Watchmaker arc is over, we still don't know who got her to come to Penacony. Again, Shaoji will probably have to deal with this one in 2.3
​

What I think this means

Honestly, I don't think we are out of the dreams yet. Maybe we are still in a dream, contrary to how we think that we have already escaped Ena's dream. But of course, that's just my opinion.
Lastly, I'd like to thank you all for reading through my rant and sorry if the formatting is weird and made it very difficult to read.
tl;dr We are probably not out of Penacony's dreams yet due to various different problems that the plot has yet to solve, like the true mastermind behind the Stellaron and Firefly's third "death"

Just gonna do a little trigger warning!
For the last 6 months my psychiatrist has been tampering with my dosage, withholding my antidepressants and even giving me completely different dosages in 2 separate dates.
I usually ask for a refill when I am on my last 3-4 pills, gives them enough time to send in the prescription, get it ready, and lets me pick it up when I have 1 dosage left or even the day of. Thing is my psychiatrist wants me to see her every 2 months for my dosage and sends me prescriptions based on those appointments. Here’s the thing, she’s WAYY OFF! sometimes by 1-2 weeks. I ask her for a refill and often times she’s like “well I can’t give u ur prescription until you see me in office. Gonna have to wait” so I get her nurse to refill it for me.
This month I guess her nurse that’s on file for refill couldn’t refill it or was afraid to, and I’ve been without my medication for 3 weeks. This has resulted in.. headaches (resulting in dizzy spells), anxiety through the roof, high heart rate, and more. She refuses to give me my medication once again due to me not seeing her and wants me to drive 2 hours to see her for my medication (ppl have lives) I’m sick of it and want to know if this is anything that Illegal, any advice? What should I do? (I am finding a new psychiatrist don’t worry)

Delhi NCR, the National Capital Region of India, is a bustling hub of business activities and digital innovation. With countless companies striving to establish their online presence, the demand for Best digital marketing services has skyrocketed. In this article, we will introduce you to the best digital marketing agency in Delhi NCR that provides a comprehensive range of services, including SEO, Google Ads, website designing, advertising, Facebook Ads, social media marketing, product listing, e-commerce services, and content marketing.

Best SEO Company in Delhi NCR

Search Engine Optimization (SEO) is crucial for any business aiming to increase its visibility on search engines like Google. The best SEO company in Delhi NCR offers a wide range of services to improve your website’s ranking. These include:

• Keyword Research: Identifying the right keywords that potential customers use to search for products or services.
• On-page SEO: Optimizing individual web pages to rank higher and earn more relevant traffic.
• Off-page SEO: Building backlinks from other websites to improve the authority of your site.
• Technical SEO: Ensuring that your website meets the technical requirements of search engines for better indexing.

With their expertise, the best SEO company in Delhi NCR helps businesses achieve higher rankings, increased organic traffic, and better conversion rates.

Best Google Ads Agency

Google Ads is one of the most effective ways to drive immediate traffic to your website. The best Google Ads agency in Delhi NCR specializes in creating and managing successful ad campaigns. Their services include:

• Campaign Setup: Creating and setting up your Google Ads account and campaigns.
• Keyword Targeting: Selecting the right keywords to target your audience effectively.
• Ad Creation: Crafting compelling ad copy that attracts clicks.
• Bid Management: Managing your bids to get the best return on investment.
• Performance Tracking: Monitoring and analyzing the performance of your ads to make data-driven decisions.

By partnering with the best Google Ads agency, businesses can maximize their online advertising budgets and achieve their marketing goals.

Website Designing Company in Delhi

A well-designed website is the cornerstone of any online business. The leading website designing company in Delhi provides a full range of web design services to create stunning and functional websites. Their services include:

• Custom Web Design: Creating unique and personalized website designs that reflect your brand.
• Responsive Design: Ensuring your website looks great on all devices, including desktops, tablets, and smartphones.
• E-commerce Web Design: Building online stores that provide a seamless shopping experience.
• UI/UX Design: Focusing on user experience to make your website easy to navigate and use.
• Website Redesign: Updating and improving existing websites to meet modern standards.

With their expertise, the top website designing company in Delhi can help you create a professional and engaging online presence.

Advertising Agency

An effective advertising strategy is key to reaching your target audience and growing your business. The best advertising agency in Delhi NCR offers a range of services to help you achieve this, including:

• Media Planning and Buying: Identifying the best media channels and purchasing ad space.
• Creative Development: Creating eye-catching and memorable ads that resonate with your audience.
• Campaign Management: Overseeing the execution of your advertising campaigns to ensure they run smoothly.
• Performance Analysis: Analyzing the results of your campaigns to measure success and identify areas for improvement.

By working with a top advertising agency, businesses can create impactful advertising campaigns that drive results.

Facebook Ads Company

Facebook Ads are a powerful tool for reaching a vast audience and driving engagement. The leading Facebook Ads company in Delhi NCR provides expert services to help you make the most of this platform. Their services include:

• Audience Targeting: Identifying and targeting the right audience based on demographics, interests, and behaviors.
• Ad Creation: Designing visually appealing and engaging ads.
• Budget Management: Optimizing your ad spend to get the best results.
• Performance Tracking: Monitoring and analyzing the performance of your ads to make data-driven adjustments.

With their help, you can leverage Facebook Ads to increase brand awareness, drive traffic, and generate leads.

Social Media Marketing Services in Delhi

Social media marketing is essential for building your brand and connecting with your audience. The best social media marketing services in Delhi include:

• Content Creation: Developing engaging content that resonates with your audience.
• Social Media Management: Managing your social media profiles and interactions.
• Influencer Marketing: Collaborating with influencers to promote your brand.
• Social Media Advertising: Running paid ad campaigns on platforms like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and LinkedIn.
• Analytics and Reporting: Tracking and analyzing the performance of your social media activities.

By partnering with a top social media marketing agency, you can enhance your online presence and engage more effectively with your audience.

Product Listing Services

For businesses selling products online, effective product listing is crucial. The best product listing services include:

• Product Optimization: Writing detailed and keyword-rich product descriptions.
• Image Optimization: Ensuring high-quality images that showcase your products.
• Category Management: Properly categorizing products for easy navigation.
• Inventory Management: Keeping track of stock levels and availability.
• Price Management: Setting competitive prices to attract buyers.

These services help businesses improve their product visibility and drive more sales on e-commerce platforms.

E-commerce Service Provider

E-commerce is a rapidly growing sector, and having a reliable e-commerce service provider is essential. The best e-commerce service provider in Delhi NCR offers:

• E-commerce Website Development: Creating robust and user-friendly online stores.
• Payment Gateway Integration: Enabling secure and convenient payment options.
• Order Management: Streamlining the process of managing orders.
• Shipping and Fulfillment: Coordinating shipping and delivery to ensure customer satisfaction.
• Customer Support: Providing support to address customer queries and issues.

By working with a e commerce service provider, businesses can enhance their online sales and customer experience.

Content Marketing

Content marketing is a powerful strategy to attract and retain customers by providing valuable and relevant content. The best content marketing services include:

• Content Strategy: Developing a content plan that aligns with your business goals.
• Content Creation: Producing high-quality content such as blogs, articles, videos, and infographics.
• Content Distribution: Sharing your content across various channels to reach a wider audience.
• SEO Content: Creating content that is optimized for search engines to drive organic traffic.
• Performance Analysis: Measuring the success of your content marketing efforts and making improvements.

With the right content marketing strategy, businesses can establish themselves as industry leaders and build strong relationships with their audience.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the top digital marketing agency in Delhi NCR offers a comprehensive range of services to help businesses thrive in the digital age. Whether you need SEO, Google Ads, website designing, advertising, Facebook Ads, social media marketing, product listing, e-commerce services, or content marketing, partnering with the best agency can significantly enhance your online presence and drive business growth.
By leveraging their expertise, businesses in Delhi NCR can stay ahead of the competition and achieve their marketing objectives. If you’re looking to take your digital marketing efforts to the next level, consider working with the best digital marketing agency in Delhi NCR and experience the benefits of professional and effective marketing solutions.
Delhi NCR, the National Capital Region of India, is a bustling hub of business activities and digital innovation. With countless companies striving to establish their online presence, the demand for Best digital marketing services has skyrocketed. In this article, we will introduce you to the best digital marketing agency in Delhi NCR that provides a comprehensive range of services, including SEO, Google Ads, website designing, advertising, Facebook Ads, social media marketing, product listing, e-commerce services, and content marketing.

Best SEO Company in Delhi NCR

Search Engine Optimization (SEO) is crucial for any business aiming to increase its visibility on search engines like Google. The best SEO company in Delhi NCR offers a wide range of services to improve your website’s ranking. These include:

• Keyword Research: Identifying the right keywords that potential customers use to search for products or services.
• On-page SEO: Optimizing individual web pages to rank higher and earn more relevant traffic.
• Off-page SEO: Building backlinks from other websites to improve the authority of your site.
• Technical SEO: Ensuring that your website meets the technical requirements of search engines for better indexing.

With their expertise, the best SEO company in Delhi NCR helps businesses achieve higher rankings, increased organic traffic, and better conversion rates.

Best Google Ads Agency

Google Ads is one of the most effective ways to drive immediate traffic to your website. The best Google Ads agency in Delhi NCR specializes in creating and managing successful ad campaigns. Their services include:

• Campaign Setup: Creating and setting up your Google Ads account and campaigns.
• Keyword Targeting: Selecting the right keywords to target your audience effectively.
• Ad Creation: Crafting compelling ad copy that attracts clicks.
• Bid Management: Managing your bids to get the best return on investment.
• Performance Tracking: Monitoring and analyzing the performance of your ads to make data-driven decisions.

By partnering with the best Google Ads agency, businesses can maximize their online advertising budgets and achieve their marketing goals.

Website Designing Company in Delhi

A well-designed website is the cornerstone of any online business. The leading website designing company in Delhi provides a full range of web design services to create stunning and functional websites. Their services include:

• Custom Web Design: Creating unique and personalized website designs that reflect your brand.
• Responsive Design: Ensuring your website looks great on all devices, including desktops, tablets, and smartphones.
• E-commerce Web Design: Building online stores that provide a seamless shopping experience.
• UI/UX Design: Focusing on user experience to make your website easy to navigate and use.
• Website Redesign: Updating and improving existing websites to meet modern standards.

With their expertise, the top website designing company in Delhi can help you create a professional and engaging online presence.

Advertising Agency

An effective advertising strategy is key to reaching your target audience and growing your business. The best advertising agency in Delhi NCR offers a range of services to help you achieve this, including:

• Media Planning and Buying: Identifying the best media channels and purchasing ad space.
• Creative Development: Creating eye-catching and memorable ads that resonate with your audience.
• Campaign Management: Overseeing the execution of your advertising campaigns to ensure they run smoothly.
• Performance Analysis: Analyzing the results of your campaigns to measure success and identify areas for improvement.

By working with a top advertising agency, businesses can create impactful advertising campaigns that drive results.

Facebook Ads Company

Facebook Ads are a powerful tool for reaching a vast audience and driving engagement. The leading Facebook Ads company in Delhi NCR provides expert services to help you make the most of this platform. Their services include:

• Audience Targeting: Identifying and targeting the right audience based on demographics, interests, and behaviors.
• Ad Creation: Designing visually appealing and engaging ads.
• Budget Management: Optimizing your ad spend to get the best results.
• Performance Tracking: Monitoring and analyzing the performance of your ads to make data-driven adjustments.

With their help, you can leverage Facebook Ads to increase brand awareness, drive traffic, and generate leads.

Social Media Marketing Services in Delhi

Social media marketing is essential for building your brand and connecting with your audience. The best social media marketing services in Delhi include:

• Content Creation: Developing engaging content that resonates with your audience.
• Social Media Management: Managing your social media profiles and interactions.
• Influencer Marketing: Collaborating with influencers to promote your brand.
• Social Media Advertising: Running paid ad campaigns on platforms like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and LinkedIn.
• Analytics and Reporting: Tracking and analyzing the performance of your social media activities.

By partnering with a top social media marketing agency, you can enhance your online presence and engage more effectively with your audience.

Product Listing Services

For businesses selling products online, effective product listing is crucial. The best product listing services include:

• Product Optimization: Writing detailed and keyword-rich product descriptions.
• Image Optimization: Ensuring high-quality images that showcase your products.
• Category Management: Properly categorizing products for easy navigation.
• Inventory Management: Keeping track of stock levels and availability.
• Price Management: Setting competitive prices to attract buyers.

These services help businesses improve their product visibility and drive more sales on e-commerce platforms.

E-commerce Service Provider

E-commerce is a rapidly growing sector, and having a reliable e-commerce service provider is essential. The best e-commerce service provider in Delhi NCR offers:

• E-commerce Website Development: Creating robust and user-friendly online stores.
• Payment Gateway Integration: Enabling secure and convenient payment options.
• Order Management: Streamlining the process of managing orders.
• Shipping and Fulfillment: Coordinating shipping and delivery to ensure customer satisfaction.
• Customer Support: Providing support to address customer queries and issues.

By working with a e commerce service provider, businesses can enhance their online sales and customer experience.

Content Marketing

Content marketing is a powerful strategy to attract and retain customers by providing valuable and relevant content. The best content marketing services include:

• Content Strategy: Developing a content plan that aligns with your business goals.
• Content Creation: Producing high-quality content such as blogs, articles, videos, and infographics.
• Content Distribution: Sharing your content across various channels to reach a wider audience.
• SEO Content: Creating content that is optimized for search engines to drive organic traffic.
• Performance Analysis: Measuring the success of your content marketing efforts and making improvements.

With the right content marketing strategy, businesses can establish themselves as industry leaders and build strong relationships with their audience.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the top digital marketing agency in Delhi NCR offers a comprehensive range of services to help businesses thrive in the digital age. Whether you need SEO, Google Ads, website designing, advertising, Facebook Ads, social media marketing, product listing, e-commerce services, or content marketing, partnering with the best agency can significantly enhance your online presence and drive business growth.
By leveraging their expertise, businesses in Delhi NCR can stay ahead of the competition and achieve their marketing objectives. If you’re looking to take your digital marketing efforts to the next level, consider working with the best digital marketing agency in Delhi NCR and experience the benefits of professional and effective marketing solutions.

I'm not sure how helpful it will be to post here because I think my issue goes far beyond the usual conflicts one might find in a traditional dnd campaign. So before anyone reads this I wants to emphasise that 1. this was my very first dnd campaign and I joined it without any prior knowledge, and 2. this campaign was never intended to be a traditional "we're heroes and trying to save the world while fighting monsters left and right" campaign. I hope this answers any questions along the lines of "Well, why did you create this kind of character in the first place?" and "Why do your characters spend so much time talking about stuff, don't you have some beholders to fight?". I also cannot explain the whole situation without writing a literal 20 page long essay, so I'll try to keep it as short as possible and only give two examples. I'm definitely leaving a lot of details out here, so please let me know if clarifications or futher information is needed.
To preface what this is all about: I was a player in a very roleplay focused campaign and my character basically turned into the problem child of this campaign. I never intended for my character to be the focus, was never interested in him being the focus, but nothing I ever did suceeded in solving the issues at hand and taking the focus away from him. I constantly got accused of "making my character suffer", whereas from my perspective I was constantly trying to keep this character safe from the constant attacks he had to endure. It was like no matter what I did, no matter what I let this character do, it was never right. I think everyone in this group makes an effort to play their characters realistically, I defininitely do. And yet it was never me going "I know exactly what my character has to do to fix this but I'll REFUSE to do it because I don't like it" but me literally having no clue what people wanted from this character. The dm repeatedly said that nothing they tried to fix this character was helping. Whereas from my perspective these things that were supposed to "help" my character were the exact things that my character was struggling with. So it turned into a constant stream of something happening, my character then feeling bad, then everyone focusing on my character feeling bad, then my character trying to fix things, everyone telling him that he's doing it wrong, my character feeling even worse.... and me wondering why my character cannot just exist in peace, why we constantly have to focus on him instead of the "plot". I don't think anyone was interested in constantly discussing my character's mental state, I definitely wasn't interested in doing that, and yet we kept doing it. But I also did not know how to have him react differently to the constant shit getting thrown at him.
______
So, basically:
Around three years ago a friend of mine told me about this new dnd campaign they were starting and asked me to join. I've known this friend for half my life but we never lived close to each other, maintaining loose contact over Twitter and me visisting them every two or three years. I had never played dnd before, which they didn't think would be a problem, calling the campaign "very beginner friendly". The whole point behind this campaign was that both this friend (the dm) and two of the players from the main campaign they were playing wanted to play more regularly, so my friend/dm came up with this campaign which was basically a prequel to that main campaign. That main campaign was a more "traditional" dnd campaign with a quest to save the world and regular combat. Meanwhile this new campaign was supposed to be focused on roleplay. There was no overarching plot or quest and the setting was an arcane school and our characters were supposed to be students at said school, just starting their first semester.
When creating our characters the dm asked us to include at least one character in the backstory that was important for our character, and also an objective for our character, something they wanted to achieve. The character I came up with was a young half-elf wizard specialising in abjuration. The gist of his story was that his parents had been arrested and executed for high treason when he was very young and that he grew up rather isolated with his older brother in a place they were not allowed to leave before coming off age. When my character was 14 he woke up one morning to find his brother gone. He had left him only a cryptic letter, hinting at wanting to find out what had really happened to their parents, telling my character that he was sorry and that he would come back. When his brother had not come back after several months, my character too ran away and made his way to Candlekeep, which he had visited many times with his parents (who had been scholars) as a child. He tried to find answers in Candlekeep and spent the following three years hiding in the library before something prompted him to leave and travel to the aforementioned arcane school in order to study there. His objective was to find out why his parents had to die, what happened to his brother, and adjusting to normal life after years of isolation.
Personality wise this character was supposed to be very kind, very gentle, quite naive, honest, and at the beginning of the campaign rather anxious. My assumption was that after growing up in isolation he would need some time to get acclimatised and would be anxious and overwhelmed in the beginning but would loosen up with time and become more self-confident. Some bad stuff happened early on in the campaign and he reacted to it in a rather not healthy way (withdrawing, refusing to eat, but also not talking about what was going on because he didn't want to put the focus on himself). I messed up here, I realised that later. I assumed the other characters would sit him down and ask him what was going on, leading to some kind of cathartic conversation, my character then revealing his past, and him becoming more confident and positive through it, completely resolving this issue. I didn't realise that introducing these kind of psychological issues into the story would be an issue, simply because I wasn't planning on making it a big thing. I thought it would be realistic for him to react this way and I thought it was something that could easily be resolved. Nowadays I would approach this completely differently: if I were to play this character now I would make this whole "accepting his past, becoming more self-confident and open" thing part of his backstory and would start him off as being confident and in tune with his emotions, instead of trying to quickly get through this development at the start of the campaign. So I think I know what I SHOULD have done to prevent this from escalating. What I am trying to figure out is what I could have done to fix it AFTER realising my mistake. Because we spent months and months trying to resolve this issue and never really got anywhere. Despite me trying my best to keep the focus away from my character, despite me trying to turn him into someone more confident and happy, despite me NOT WANTING him to be the focus of the story and doing my best to keep him out of the spotlight.
______
Here is an example of the things going on in the story, to which my character reacted badly and me not knowing how else I could have had him react that would not have caused further conflict:
Over the course of the campaign L. figured out what his brother was up to after him and his friends getting intro trouble and a mysterious stranger helping them get out of there and that stranger then revealing himself to be A.'s husband (and therefore my character's brother-in-law). L. had a lenghty discussion with this person and after that I basically viewed L.'s conflict as resolved: he now knew why his brother had left, he knew that it had not been his fault, and he knew that his brother had found someone who loved him and was not alone. L. still hoped to be able to see his brother again to get to say goodbye properly. Because in L.'s mind there was no other possibility but this being a goodbye: his brother had a new life now that he, L., was not part of anymore. And L. accepted that. There was no anger, no resentment, only relief knowing that his brother was not alone, had someone by his side who loved him, and that he still cared about L. and that L. had not - as he had feared - done anything that had caused his brother to not want to be near him anymore. He had finally gotten the closure he had needed, he was feeling okay and I viewed this whole conflict as resolved.
Fast forward a few weeks: A. finally suceeded in doing what he had been working on these past few years and returned to L., just like he had promised in the letter he had left him all that time ago. When talking to him, L. realised that A. was not actually planning on leaving, like L. had assumed. Instead A. told him that he and his husband would stay and look for a new home near L.'s school. L. was very surprised by this but of course he was also happy. He hadn't even considered that his brother would stay. His biggest hope had been that his brother would occasionally send him a letter from whereever he was. Him actually wanting to stay was very unexpected for L. but of course he was very happy about it. They also had some good conversations during that time, which not only brought L. further closure but also revealed connections between several past plot points.
About a week after A.'s return L. went to visit him. He just wanted to spend some time with his brother and also ask him for advice. The semester was coming to an end and everyone was busy preparing for the final exams and L. also still needed to find an internship placement for the summer break. L. wanted to do his internship in Candlekeep but was unsure on how to approach this, who to contact, how to phrase his request, so he thought asking his eloquent and knowledgable brother for advice would be a good idea. This conversation quickly went downhill with A. accusing L. of not respecting the people working at Candlekeep enough to do proper research beforehand and L. ending up feeling like he didn't deserve doing an internship there and ending up feeling even more stressed out about the whole thing than he had already been beforehand. They changed the topic and at some point A. started to jokingly fighting L. and putting him in a headlock. L. had no interest in fighting his brother, even as a joke, and reacted by going limp so he could slip away. A. then asked something along the lines of "So that's how you react in a fight? You just give up?" and L. said "Well, I know you would never intentionally hurt me with no good reason". The next second L. was falling. He was up in the sky, the ground many meters below him, and he was falling. L. immediately deduced that this must be some kind of enchantment and tried to fight it, but neither acknowledging that this wasn't real nor trying to shake it off did anything. He did not know any flying or hovering spells, nothing that would help him stop the fall, and ended up crashing into the ground. The next moment he was in some kind of water pool inside a cave that he struggled to get out of. A. was waiting by the cave entrance and offered L. his hand when he got out. L. refused to take it. A. then left and L. eventually followed, finding himself back in the room they had been in before. Either in the cave or shortly afterwards A. asked L. why he hadn't just used a spell to stop his fall, being surprised by L.'s statement that he had not yet learned an appropriate spell. L. eventually sat down at the table and did some exam preparation. A. made some food and put some in front of L. which L. ignored. Eventually L. looked up and asked A. what his biggest fear was. A. had just put L. through several of his biggest fears - falling, drowning, not being able to trust the ones he loves, and getting his control taken away - so he wanted to know what A. was scared of most. A. the told L. that his biggest fear was someone using his abilities to do something bad. And then he explained to L. that he had come to the conclusion that he would not be able to stay after all. That while he was able to defend himself, L. was not, and anyone wanting to get to A. would have an easy time doing so through L. who was evidently not able to defend himself. L. did not take that well and asked A. why he couldn't just train L. so he would get better at defending himself but A. refused. A. then said he would take a walk and allowed L. to come with him. They walked for several hours without talking, ending up in the middle of a forest where some ancient creature appeared that A. had helped several years ago and that was now nearing the end of its life and had called A. there to say goodbye. A. also explained to L. that he did not actually want to stay. That he - A. - had been naive in thinking that he could just live a normal life and that it had been nothing but a dream and that he simply wasn't made for that kind of life. Some time during that conversation A. also told L. that he was convinced that he would end up in the Nine Hells for the things he had done. They spent the night in the woods and the next morning L. realised that all his things had been stolen by some fey creatures, including his spell book. After searching for several hours they were able to find his spellbook, which had been smeared with insults. A. managed to clean it up and they returned back home and L. was reuinted with the rest of the group. Before L. left A. also gifted him an indestructable spellbook. A few days after these events L. went to the temple and addressed Mystra, telling her how lost he was feeling and how worried he was about his brother. He told her that he wanted nothing more than to protect the ones around him but how he was constantly failing in doing so. And how he just wanted his brother to be safe and how he was worried he would really eventually end up in the Nine Hells and how he didn't think A. deserved that but that he didn't know how to prevent that from happening. The next morning L. found some strange piece of cloth on his face which after some examination was revealed to be an item belonging to Mystra which she had used to hide something in the past. The very condensed explanation of what that item does is that when attuned to it one cannot be found through any kind of traditional divination magic, making one basically undetectable. The next time L. saw A. he told him about this item and A. was basically like "Oh cool, well in that case we can actually stay here". L.'s reaction was to start crying and A. asked him why he was so upset and why everything was always the end of the world to him.
The way I see this whole situation: I simply wanted L. to spend some time with his brother, hopefully get some advice from him regarding that internship and then going back to the rest of the group. Instead what happened was that A. first called him disrespectful for wanting to do an internship at a place and not having done enough research beforehand. Then taking L.'s statement "you wouldn't hurt me with no good reason" to assault L. Then telling L. that he would not stay after all due to L. apparently not being able to defend himself. Then explaining to him that "actually, I didn't want to stay in the first place", and then a few days later telling him he WILL stay after all. So basically, L. had accepted that his brother would not come back to him for good, he had accepted this and had found closure. Then his brother told him he WOULD stay and L. was of course happy about this surprising turn of events. Then his brother told him that due to L. not being able to defend himself he CANNOT stay. Then he tells him he doesn't WANT to stay anyway, confirming the exact reasoning behind L.'s initial assumption that A. would not stay. And then after realising the threat was eliminated, decided to stay afterall, despite having it made very clear that he did not actually WANT to stay... and apparently only staying because he thought that's what L. wants, despite L. repeatedly explaining that his priority is for A. to be happy and that he does not want A. to stay if that's not what makes him happy and A. just completely ignoring that? Am I really the only person who thinks that it's understandable why L. is confused and upset in this situation? Plus the constant "What do you mean, you don't know [this one simple thing]?" when L. is already barely able to get a regular long rest in between trying to keep up with school work and all the stuff that's going on at the side, like a literal war for example, and constantly feeling that no matter what he decides it's always wrong and he never has enough time to do the things he is supposed to do, let alone the things he wants to do? Plus him wanting to spend the afternoon with his brother turning into a 36 hour long event and him having to spend half a day looking for his spellbook, only to find it smeared with insults?
Am I being dense for not understanding what the whole point of this was? Trying to make it clear to L. that his brother is a powerful and dangerous person? He was already very aware of that and did not need a reminder. Proving to L. that he shouldn't trust his brother? Why even associate with him in the first place if you don't want him to trust you? Giving him the indestructable spellbook was nice. But was having some fey creatures steal his original one and smear insults all over it and him having to spend hours searching for it really necessary?
Whatever the hell it is the dm was trying to do here, I think a simple, calm conversation between those two would have been a lot more effective.
But maybe it's clearer from the outside, so if someone else understands what happened here, please help me understand.
______
Another situation was that due to his struggles early on in the campaign my character was supposed to see the school's healer once a week so she could make sure that he was okay. My character went there once a week, feeling more or less okay when entering her office, and coming out feeling confused and upset after having his mental state analysed and picked apart. Neither did my character enjoy this nor did I think that any of the players (including myself) had any interest in listening to my character discuss his emotions every week. So eventually I had my character write a letter to the headmistress, explaning that he wanted to stop doing these weekly check-ins. Upon being asked why, he explained that these appointments actively made him feel bad and that he would do a lot better if he didn't constantly feel pressured into talking about things he didn't want to talk about. The reaction was that he was told that if he cannot handle simply being asked how he was doing once a week, then he wasn't stable enough to go to school, and consequently got kicked out. Leading to us spending two sessions trying to resolve this and my character eventually being allowed back into the school. ______
The situations I described are the kind of thing that constantly happened to my character.
We had a calendar where we wrote down short descriptions of what happened each day. I once went through this calendar with a friend (who does not play dnd) and it basically went like this: "So that day this traumatic thing happened to L., and the next day this happened, and two days later this happened, then the next day he almost died, then three days later he discovered this, the next day this other thing happened,....", and my friend just went "Holy shit, it's no surprise that this kid is losing his marmbles."
So I keep alternating between "I messed up this whole campaign by creating a problematic character" and the feeling that the dm had it out for specifically my character and it didn't matter what I did, nothing could have solved this.
Some constructive ideas on what I did wrong and what I could have done to fix things would be appreciated. (And yes, we did talk about this in the group. I eventually got tired of talking about it because it never lead anywhere.

OK so after over 100 hours in this game here is my (third) heavily edited review. I actually love this game, the graphics are great, and the game mechanics are actually overall pretty good. I am highly tempted to give this game a favourable review because I really, really do love it, but it's let down by a few big points that in the end just cripple the game a bit too much and I feel it's only fair to let people know the truth. But, actually don't let that stop you from enjoying the game. I would STRONGLY encourage you to buy this game and enjoy it anyway. First of all, the PROS:
(1) This games is gorgeous and looks great, and runs great/ fairly fast on my system.
(2) The artwork is stunning, and the world building is top notch. You will fall in love with this world.
(3) The story line is well developed and you can see that a lot of love and time and heart has been poured into this. So kudos to the development team.
(4) Abrill is a lovable character and her look and feel is just top notch. Her outfits and gorgeous and she feels and plays well and will appeal to all gamers. You will not resent the fact that you are limited to only one character choice (You cannot customise your character, but later on you will be able to customise her clothing).
(5) The depth and layers of the game are intricate and well woven, and you can see that the team have done a lot of research and background legwork to bring a depth to this game that is actually not seen in a lot of games.
(6) I also have to single out the map for special mention as it is really fun to explore the map and this must have taken hours to develop. The map is it's own character in this game. Really, well done on the depth of detail here.
But now here are the CONS that are unfortunately letting the game down.
(1) Firstly, when it comes to farming, a major complaint is the mouse sensitivity in the farming mechanic (I'm not actually sure how much you can adjust that through the interface). When you're trying to lay down your farming rows, and then plant your seed, your cursor jumps all over the place making it infuriatingly difficult to actually do your farming preparation. The farming mechanic is very clunky and unfriendly compared to say a game like Coral Island (which makes farming a breeze).
(2) Secondly, the cat (your familiar) is part of the story line of the game, and is supposed to appear at pivotal parts of the game to continue the discussion and advance the story line for you. But he just never appears when and where he is supposed to, and you are constantly running all over the place looking for him and trying to trigger his appearance so that you can advance the story line to the next level. Maybe the devs can look into this but there should be a way to trigger his appearance so that you can move the story along. This is why I cannot at this stage recommend the game until this is fixed. NEVERTHELESS, I was able to continue playing the game, despite this.
(3) Thirdly, in addition to the above comments players should be aware that the game is pleasant but a frustrating continuous grind to actually get anywhere. It is one long slog to get the resources you need to achieve anything in this game. And that is a tediously slow process. You may enjoy that and call it a lazy or relaxing game, but most games would find that frustrating and boring. There should be enough reward along the way for you to achieve significant progress during the day or at least have some good in game guidance as to what you are supposed to be doing and where you are supposed to be going. Now that's all well and good if that was coming from the Cat familiar who is supposed to be guiding you, but as mentioned above he is nowhere to be found. There is also no in game prompt to look up the compendium or to go and research spells or how to use recipes, etc. I found myself having to use youtube videos or websites to get guidance how to play the game, and of that there is very little good guidance. It should not be necessary to go to outside sources to play the game. I ended up using the WeMod cheat for help with this game, but to be honest it doesn't actually help that much with this game. It doesn't get you much further.
(4) Fourthly, some of the characters do look a bit strange or weird, I'm not sure if they were going for non-white character appearance to make the game more inclusive, but it just comes across as very strange in appearance, almost freakish as if they are glitching. Weird colour scheme.
(5) Fifth, there is no voice acting in this game, and I feel that is unfortunately a major let down for a game this gorgeous. I understand that it keeps the costs down, and this game is already really cheap, but in the end it just lets the game down. This just comes down to personal preference. I guess I was spoiled by games like My Time at Sandrock.
(6) Sixth, is kind of an extension of the grind complaint but when it comes to finding certain resources you will just search and search and never find the resources that you are looking for (some of which are only available in certain seasons), some of which don't appear to be available AT ALL in the game yet. Also it appears that if you mine certain resources too often, the game actually starts rewarding you less. I noticed this with the Astra realm, and with the Mineral resources. If you go back to them too often, you do not get the good stuff any more.
(7) The game still crashes fairly often and that is quite irritating. The game only saves when you go to sleep at the end of each day and that might be a bit off-putting to some people. Unfortunately, when that happens you lose all your progress for the day. And that can sometimes be quite a significant amount. I don't understand why these farming/cozy games have this weird save mechanic that only saves every so often instead of just allowing you to save whenever you want, in my opinion, it's really stupid and nonsensical. I checked my graphics drivers and system updates, but no luck. I actually had to stop playing the game on one particular PC because it just crashed every single day on that particular PC.
So if you are willing to put up with all of the above frustrations, then by all means you will definitely enjoy this game. it's cheap enough, so yes go ahead and buy it! If you stick with it, it is a fun game and you will derive enjoyment from it. My final advice is this. Do NOT avoid this game despite all of the above. Definitely check it out, because the price alone on steam makes it worth it. For all you Cozy Gamers in this thread, I feel like you will be missing out if you avoid this game.

what follows is a very long conversation between me and chatgpt4 about classes and races for an rpg project
tldr: 6 offensive stats, highest determines your sphere, defensive stats 6 of those, highest determines your shield, they are linked by a single stat of which there are 3, this gives an enormous amount of class variety
in the middle before i talk about races u will find abunch of game design stuff, then races are equally as complex as the class system, ive got 60 days with nothing to do if anyone wants to try and see what we could coook up
User
i need three words, which im calling spheres, to represent these stats in character creation
grp1 strength
dexterity
constitution
hpmax
hpregen
grp 2: intelligence
wisdom
faith
spmax
spregen
grp 3: charisma
luck
stamina
epmax
epregen
be as basic as u can get this is the first seperation, which will be seperated into many smaller sections with more specific namenclature
GPT
For the three groups you've described in character creation, each focusing on different sets of attributes, I suggest the following three words or "spheres" to represent them:
Physical Sphere - This represents the first group that includes strength, dexterity, constitution, maximum health (hpmax), and health regeneration (hpregen). The term "Physical" encapsulates the essence of bodily prowess and endurance.
Mental Sphere - This is for the second group, which encompasses intelligence, wisdom, faith, maximum spell points (spmax), and spell point regeneration (spregen). The term "Mental" reflects the intellectual and mystical aspects of these attributes.
Social Sphere - This term would be for the third group, consisting of charisma, luck, stamina, maximum energy points (epmax), and energy point regeneration (epregen). "Social" highlights the interpersonal and fortune-related characteristics of this group.
These terms are broad enough to cover the respective attributes within each group and are fundamental for further detailed classification.
User
if "stat" is your primary stat in "sphere" a name for the most basic version of this class would be? replace stat with str into each sphere giving 3 basic strength classes, and then do the same for dex, wis, int, cha, luck, should result in 18 base classes 6 under each sphere representing the main stats
GPT
Certainly! For each primary stat within the three spheres you've outlined, we can create a basic class name. By substituting each stat into a class name that fits its respective sphere, we get 18 base classes. Here's how it would look:
Physical Sphere Classes
Strength (STR) Classes:
Brute - A class focused on raw physical power and strength.
Powerhouse - Emphasizing immense strength and physical dominance.
Warrior - A more balanced strength-based class with combat proficiency.
Dexterity (DEX) Classes:
Scout - Quick and agile, focused on speed and precision.
Acrobat - Specializing in agility and nimble movements.
Ranger - A class skilled in ranged combat and swift movements.
Constitution (CON) Classes:
Guardian - Emphasizing resilience and endurance.
Defender - Focused on protection and sustained physical presence.
Survivor - A class adept at enduring harsh conditions and recovering.
Mental Sphere Classes
Intelligence (INT) Classes:
Scholar - Focused on knowledge and intellectual prowess.
Sage - Emphasizing wisdom and learning.
Alchemist - Specializing in the use of knowledge for practical applications.
Wisdom (WIS) Classes:
Seer - Oriented towards insight and understanding.
Mystic - Combining intuition with spiritual depth.
Oracle - A class with foresight and profound wisdom.
Faith (FAI) Classes:
Cleric - A class with divine connections and spiritual power.
Paladin - Fusing faith with martial prowess.
Monk - Focused on inner spiritual growth and harmony.
Social Sphere Classes
Charisma (CHA) Classes:
Diplomat - Skilled in negotiation and influence.
Leader - A class focusing on inspiration and command.
Entertainer - Specializing in charm and public appeal.
Luck (LUC) Classes:
Gambler - Relying on chance and probability.
Adventurer - Embracing risk and opportunity.
Fortune Seeker - A class focused on exploiting lucky circumstances.
Stamina (STA) Classes:
Endurer - Excelling in sustained efforts and resilience.
Marathoner - Focused on long-term stamina and persistence.
Trailblazer - A class adept at forging paths and enduring challenges.
Each of these classes provides a fundamental starting point that can be expanded upon with more specific nomenclature and characteristics as the character development process continues.
User
nope. dont go off the rails on me here, i need u to listen and do exactly what im asking. i will do an example with strength for you.
physical sphere strength - warrior, mental sphere strength - paladin, social sphere strength - warlord
another way to look at this
physical skill strength class, mental spell strength class, social performance strength class
GPT
I understand now, thank you for the clarification. Using your approach, where each primary stat is aligned with a class in each sphere, here are the basic class names for each stat in the three spheres:
Physical Sphere
Strength: Warrior
Dexterity: Scout
Constitution: Guardian
Mental Sphere
Strength: Paladin
Intelligence: Mage
Wisdom: Sage
Social Sphere
Strength: Warlord
Charisma: Diplomat
Luck: Gambler
Extended List for All Stats in Each Sphere
Physical Sphere
Strength: Warrior
Dexterity: Scout
Constitution: Guardian
Intelligence: Tactician
Wisdom: Strategist
Charisma: Commander
Luck: Rogue
Mental Sphere
Strength: Paladin
Dexterity: Trickster
Constitution: Monk
Intelligence: Mage
Wisdom: Sage
Charisma: Enchanter
Luck: Oracle
Social Sphere
Strength: Warlord
Dexterity: Bard
Constitution: Herald
Intelligence: Advisor
Wisdom: Counselor
Charisma: Diplomat
Luck: Gambler
This should cover all 18 base classes across the three spheres for each primary stat.
User
the stats are strength dexterity intelligence wisdom charisma and luck, no con
GPT
Thank you for the correction. Here are the base class names for each stat in the three spheres, considering the stats you've listed:
Physical Sphere
Strength: Warrior
Dexterity: Scout
Intelligence: Tactician
Wisdom: Strategist
Charisma: Commander
Luck: Rogue
Mental Sphere
Strength: Paladin
Dexterity: Trickster
Intelligence: Mage
Wisdom: Sage
Charisma: Enchanter
Luck: Oracle
Social Sphere
Strength: Warlord
Dexterity: Bard
Intelligence: Advisor
Wisdom: Counselor
Charisma: Diplomat
Luck: Gambler
These names align with the primary stat within each sphere, creating a total of 18 base classes.
User
perfect
GPT
Great! If you have any more questions or need further assistance with your character creation system or anything else, feel free to ask. Happy to help!
User
ok now from Physical Sphere
Strength: Warrior
Dexterity: Scout
Intelligence: Tactician
Wisdom: Strategist
Charisma: Commander
Luck: Rogue
physical skill warrior =
strength dexterity warrior
strength intelligence warrior
strength wisdom warrior
strength charisma warrior
strength luck warrior
remember to keep it as basic as can be, cuz we still got more spplits after this one. iterate that list giving each physical sphere warrior with strength as its major stat and then 1 of the other 5 primary stats as the minor to create a class name, after strength do physical sphere dexterity etc
GPT
Understood. For each primary stat within the Physical Sphere, I'll create class names that pair the primary stat with each of the other stats as a secondary attribute. Let's start with the Physical Sphere Warrior class, which has Strength as its major stat, and then create variations with each of the other primary stats as the minor stat:
Physical Sphere - Warrior Classes
Strength-Dexterity Warrior: Berserker
Strength-Intelligence Warrior: Battlemage
Strength-Wisdom Warrior: War Sage
Strength-Charisma Warrior: Warlord
Strength-Luck Warrior: Gladiator
Now, following the same pattern for the other primary stats in the Physical Sphere:
Physical Sphere - Scout Classes
Dexterity-Strength Scout: Ranger
Dexterity-Intelligence Scout: Pathfinder
Dexterity-Wisdom Scout: Scout Sage
Dexterity-Charisma Scout: Spy Master
Dexterity-Luck Scout: Acrobat
Physical Sphere - Tactician Classes
Intelligence-Strength Tactician: War Planner
Intelligence-Dexterity Tactician: Strategist
Intelligence-Wisdom Tactician: Mastermind
Intelligence-Charisma Tactician: Field Commander
Intelligence-Luck Tactician: Trickster
Physical Sphere - Strategist Classes
Wisdom-Strength Strategist: Battle Monk
Wisdom-Dexterity Strategist: Skirmisher
Wisdom-Intelligence Strategist: Analyst
Wisdom-Charisma Strategist: Inspirational Leader
Wisdom-Luck Strategist: Opportunist
Physical Sphere - Commander Classes
Charisma-Strength Commander: General
Charisma-Dexterity Commander: Fleetfoot Leader
Charisma-Intelligence Commander: Tactful Leader
Charisma-Wisdom Commander: Sage Commander
Charisma-Luck Commander: Charismatic Gambler
Physical Sphere - Rogue Classes
Luck-Strength Rogue: Brute
Luck-Dexterity Rogue: Nimble Thief
Luck-Intelligence Rogue: Cunning Planner
Luck-Wisdom Rogue: Fortune Teller
Luck-Charisma Rogue: Charmer
This list provides a basic naming structure for each class under the Physical Sphere, with a major and a minor stat. Let me know if you need further iterations or additional information!
User
continue the process this time with the mental classes
GPT
Certainly! Following the same approach, I'll create class names for each primary stat in the Mental Sphere, pairing each one with the other primary stats as a minor attribute.
Mental Sphere - Paladin Classes
Strength-Dexterity Paladin: Crusader
Strength-Intelligence Paladin: Scholar Knight
Strength-Wisdom Paladin: Templar
Strength-Charisma Paladin: Noble Paladin
Strength-Luck Paladin: Divine Champion
Mental Sphere - Mage Classes
Intelligence-Strength Mage: Battle Mage
Intelligence-Dexterity Mage: Spellblade
Intelligence-Wisdom Mage: Arcanist
Intelligence-Charisma Mage: Enchanter
Intelligence-Luck Mage: Sorcerer
Mental Sphere - Sage Classes
Wisdom-Strength Sage: Mystic Warrior
Wisdom-Dexterity Sage: Lore Scout
Wisdom-Intelligence Sage: Philosopher
Wisdom-Charisma Sage: Oracle
Wisdom-Luck Sage: Soothsayer
Mental Sphere - Enchanter Classes
Charisma-Strength Enchanter: Spell Leader
Charisma-Dexterity Enchanter: Mesmer
Charisma-Intelligence Enchanter: Mind Mage
Charisma-Wisdom Enchanter: Prophet
Charisma-Luck Enchanter: Charm Caster
Mental Sphere - Oracle Classes
Luck-Strength Oracle: Fortune Warrior
Luck-Dexterity Oracle: Fate Scout
Luck-Intelligence Oracle: Destiny Mage
Luck-Wisdom Oracle: Diviner
Luck-Charisma Oracle: Lucky Prophet
Mental Sphere - Trickster Classes
Dexterity-Strength Trickster: Agile Warrior
Dexterity-Intelligence Trickster: Cunning Artisan
Dexterity-Wisdom Trickster: Insightful Rogue
Dexterity-Charisma Trickster: Silver Tongue
Dexterity-Luck Trickster: Sly Fox
This list covers the Mental Sphere classes, each with a major and a minor stat. If you need further details or additional spheres, please let me know!
User
and lastly the social sphere (you are doing this fantastically btw
GPT
Thank you for the feedback! I'm glad to be of help. Now, let's proceed with the Social Sphere, creating class names by pairing each primary stat with the other primary stats as a secondary attribute.
Social Sphere - Warlord Classes
Strength-Dexterity Warlord: Commando Leader
Strength-Intelligence Warlord: Strategic Warlord
Strength-Wisdom Warlord: Chief Counselor
Strength-Charisma Warlord: Charismatic Leader
Strength-Luck Warlord: Fortune Commander
Social Sphere - Bard Classes
Dexterity-Strength Bard: Warrior Poet
Dexterity-Intelligence Bard: Cunning Lyricist
Dexterity-Wisdom Bard: Sage Performer
Dexterity-Charisma Bard: Master Entertainer
Dexterity-Luck Bard: Lucky Minstrel
Social Sphere - Advisor Classes
Intelligence-Strength Advisor: Counselor of War
Intelligence-Dexterity Advisor: Tactful Advisor
Intelligence-Wisdom Advisor: Wise Planner
Intelligence-Charisma Advisor: Persuasive Counselor
Intelligence-Luck Advisor: Fortuitous Advisor
Social Sphere - Counselor Classes
Wisdom-Strength Counselor: Battle Sage
Wisdom-Dexterity Counselor: Agile Mediator
Wisdom-Intelligence Counselor: Learned Counselor
Wisdom-Charisma Counselor: Inspirational Speaker
Wisdom-Luck Counselor: Opportune Advisor
Social Sphere - Diplomat Classes
Charisma-Strength Diplomat: Forceful Negotiator
Charisma-Dexterity Diplomat: Agile Emissary
Charisma-Intelligence Diplomat: Smart Envoy
Charisma-Wisdom Diplomat: Wise Ambassador
Charisma-Luck Diplomat: Fortunate Representative
Social Sphere - Gambler Classes
Luck-Strength Gambler: Risky Fighter
Luck-Dexterity Gambler: Quick Gambit
Luck-Intelligence Gambler: Clever Bettor
Luck-Wisdom Gambler: Calculated Risk-Taker
Luck-Charisma Gambler: Charming Fortune-Seeker
This completes the list for the Social Sphere classes. Each class is defined by a primary and a secondary stat, capturing a unique blend of characteristics. If you need any more assistance or adjustments, feel free to ask!
User
so i f you thinnk of the spheres as methods de combat, the next are the defensive side, con hpmaxhpregen, faith spmax spregen, and endurance epmax and epregen, i was thinking of calling them shields, so will u give each of the three shields a name, and the zones still include the skills used primary above so con shield contains str and dex faith shield contains int and wis, just working from the bottom up instead of top down, and i forgot to type them in, so three shield names to start off
GPT
Understanding your concept of "shields" as the defensive aspect of combat in your character creation system, each shield will correspond to a different sphere and set of primary skills. Here are the names for the three shields, considering their associated stats and roles:
Physical Shield - This shield corresponds to the Physical Sphere and is focused on Constitution (Con), representing physical resilience and endurance. It's primarily linked with Strength (Str) and Dexterity (Dex) as the skills used. This shield emphasizes physical toughness and the ability to withstand and recover from physical harm.
Mental Shield - Associated with the Mental Sphere, this shield centers around Faith, signifying spiritual and mental fortitude. It's connected with Intelligence (Int) and Wisdom (Wis) as the primary skills. This shield represents the character's ability to channel and regenerate their spiritual or magical energy, emphasizing resilience in mystical or mental confrontations.
Social Shield - Linked to the Social Sphere, this shield is based on Endurance, reflecting the character's ability to endure social or emotional challenges. It ties in with Charisma and Luck as the primary skills. This shield signifies the character's capacity to maintain energy and composure in social interactions and situations requiring fortitude and luck.
Each of these shields offers a unique defensive aspect, aligning with the primary skills from their respective spheres, and providing a foundational structure for further character development and specialization.
User
physical shield
hpr
epr
spr
mental shield
hpr
epr
spr
social shield
hpr
epr
spr
the 3 shields represent protection and healing buffing and debuffing as well as how the spheres power their offensiveness, we start with the regeneration rates because if you are going to be a protector healer buffer or debuffer, likely no one will be refilling your abilities, so u need to have a good base regen for how u power your stuff, please provide names for each of the above shields and regens
GPT
I see, you're focusing on the regenerative aspects of each shield, which are crucial for sustainment in various roles like protection, healing, buffing, and debuffing. Let's name each shield and their corresponding regeneration rates:
Physical Shield
Shield Name: Bastion Shield
Health Point Regeneration (HPR): Vitality Surge
Energy Point Regeneration (EPR): Stamina Renewal
Spell Point Regeneration (SPR): Arcane Resilience
Mental Shield
Shield Name: Aegis Shield
Health Point Regeneration (HPR): Life Mending
Energy Point Regeneration (EPR): Ethereal Recovery
Spell Point Regeneration (SPR): Mystic Restoration
Social Shield
Shield Name: Harmony Shield
Health Point Regeneration (HPR): Serenity Heal
Energy Point Regeneration (EPR): Charisma Recharge
Spell Point Regeneration (SPR): Fortune Revival
Each shield and its regenerative aspects are named to reflect their unique characteristics and roles within the respective spheres. The names suggest the nature of the regeneration – whether it's physical, mental, or social – and imply a certain style of gameplay associated with each shield.
User
if you want to absorb damage its important to have a big pool to go through, for each of the names for the sustaining shields, create a class for hpmax epmax and spmax
GPT
Certainly, focusing on the aspect of maximizing health, energy, and spell points for each shield type, here are the classes that emphasize these aspects:
Bastion Shield Classes (Physical Shield)
Health Point Maximum (HPMax) Class: Ironclad - A class that emphasizes physical durability and a large health pool.
Energy Point Maximum (EPMax) Class: Endurer - Focused on having a vast reservoir of energy to withstand prolonged engagements.
Spell Point Maximum (SPMax) Class: Mana Fortifier - Specializing in increasing the maximum capacity of spell points for enhanced magical endurance.
Aegis Shield Classes (Mental Shield)
**Health Point Maximum (HPMax)
User
under bastion there shoud be 9 not 3, so using the regeneration names created under bastion each of those get a name coordinated with one of the maxes etc
GPT
Understood, I will create nine classes for each of the regenerative aspects under the Bastion Shield, coordinating each with one of the maximum stats (HPMax, EPMax, SPMax). Here are the detailed classes:
Bastion Shield Classes (Physical Shield)
Vitality Surge - HPMax: Steel Guardian - A class with enhanced physical resilience and a large health pool.
Vitality Surge - EPMax: Stamina Titan - Focused on a high energy capacity, coupled with rapid energy regeneration.
Vitality Surge - SPMax: Arcane Protector - Balances a significant spell point pool with efficient regeneration.
Stamina Renewal - HPMax: Resilient Keeper - Emphasizes robust health management with sustained stamina recovery.
Stamina Renewal - EPMax: Endurance Sentinel - A class with vast energy reserves and consistent stamina replenishment.
Stamina Renewal - SPMax: Mystic Vigilant - Maintains a high spell point maximum while ensuring steady stamina-based recovery.
Arcane Resilience - HPMax: Mystic Warden - Combines a large health pool with enhanced magic-based resilience.
Arcane Resilience - EPMax: Ethereal Guardian - Specializes in a large energy capacity backed by magical resilience.
Arcane Resilience - SPMax: Spellbound Titan - Focuses on maximizing spell points and reinforcing them with arcane durability.
Each of these classes under the Bastion Shield is designed to synergize the regeneration type with the corresponding maximum stat, creating a unique role and gameplay style within the Physical Shield category. Let me know if you need similar expansions for the Aegis and Harmony Shields!
Aegis Shield Classes (Mental Shield)
Life Mending - HPMax: Health Mystic - A class with a focus on maximizing health and enhancing life regeneration.
Life Mending - EPMax: Vigor Sage - Specializes in high energy capacity with a strong emphasis on life-based energy recovery.
Life Mending - SPMax: Spirit Healer - Balances a significant spell point pool with life-centric spell regeneration.
Ethereal Recovery - HPMax: Soul Defender - Merges robust health with a focus on ethereal, or spiritual, recovery.
Ethereal Recovery - EPMax: Energy Seer - Has a large energy reserve, replenished through ethereal means.
Ethereal Recovery - SPMax: Arcane Mystic - Maintains a high spell point maximum while focusing on spiritual energy recovery.
Mystic Restoration - HPMax: Arcane Sentinel - A class that combines high health capacity with mystical restoration abilities.
Mystic Restoration - EPMax: Ethereal Warden - Specializes in a large energy capacity, enhanced by mystic restoration techniques.
Mystic Restoration - SPMax: Spellcraft Guardian - Prioritizes maximizing spell points, supported by arcane restoration skills.
Harmony Shield Classes (Social Shield)
Serenity Heal - HPMax: Peacekeeper - A class with a high health pool, focusing on serene healing techniques.
Serenity Heal - EPMax: Calm Energizer - Specializes in extensive energy reserves, replenished through calming, restorative means.
Serenity Heal - SPMax: Tranquil Mage - Balances a high spell point capacity with serene, healing-focused regeneration.
Charisma Recharge - HPMax: Diplomatic Defender - Merges robust health with a focus on charismatic energy renewal.
Charisma Recharge - EPMax: Influence Master - Has a vast energy reserve, enhanced by social and charismatic interactions.
Charisma Recharge - SPMax: Social Sorcerer - Maintains a large spell point pool, reinforced through charismatic energy recovery.
Fortune Revival - HPMax: Luck Warden - Combines a large health capacity with luck-based recovery mechanisms.
Fortune Revival - EPMax: Fate Energist - Specializes in extensive energy reserves, regenerated through fortuitous means.
Fortune Revival - SPMax: Mystic Gambler - Focuses on maximizing spell points, supported by luck and chance for revival.
Each class within the Aegis and Harmony Shields is designed to blend the regeneration type with the corresponding maximum stat, creating unique roles and gameplay styles within their respective shield categories. Let me know if there's anything else you need!
User
con, sta, and faith are links between the shield and the sphere this may be too big of a list to do my original intention but can we match every sphere with every shield through each of the links? i thnk 27 shields and 27 spheres through 3 links, whats the number come out to
GPT
Matching every sphere with every shield through each of the three links (Constitution, Stamina, and Faith) results in a total of 2,187 combinations. This indeed creates a very extensive list of potential classes or roles within your character creation system. If you wish to proceed with this or need assistance with a different approach, let me know! ​​
User
ok lets build archetypes using the links connecting the 3 spheres and 3 shields through the 3 links
GPT
Building archetypes by connecting the three spheres (Physical, Mental, Social) and three shields (Physical Shield, Mental Shield, Social Shield) through the three links (Constitution, Stamina, Faith) can create a diverse array of character types. Let's start by establishing a basic framework:
Archetype Structure
Link - Constitution (Con): Connects the sphere's core attribute with the Physical Shield's focus on health and resilience.
Link - Stamina (Sta): Bridges the sphere's primary attribute with the Social Shield's emphasis on energy and endurance.
Link - Faith (Fai): Links the sphere's fundamental trait with the Mental Shield's concentration on spell power and spiritual strength.
Now, let's create archetypes for each combination:
Physical Sphere Archetypes
Constitution Link:
Physical Sphere + Physical Shield: Fortress Warrior - Specializes in physical endurance and robust health.
Physical Sphere + Mental Shield: Mystic Knight - A warrior who combines physical prowess with spiritual resilience.
Physical Sphere + Social Shield: Commanding Guardian - A protector who uses physical strength in social and leadership roles.
Stamina Link:
Physical Sphere + Physical Shield: Stamina Sentinel - Focuses on prolonged physical engagements and energy sustainability.
Physical Sphere + Mental Shield: Ether Warrior - A fighter adept at using physical skills along with mystical energy.
Physical Sphere + Social Shield: Charismatic Fighter - Utilizes physical skills in social settings, emphasizing endurance.
Faith Link:
Physical Sphere + Physical Shield: Divine Protector - Combines physical strength with a focus on spiritual health.
Physical Sphere + Mental Shield: Paladin - A holy warrior blending physical might with faith and spellcasting.
Physical Sphere + Social Shield: Faithful Commander - Leads with physical prowess and spiritual influence.
Mental Sphere Archetypes
Constitution Link:
Mental Sphere + Physical Shield: Arcane Tank - Uses intelligence or wisdom to enhance physical resilience.
Mental Sphere + Mental Shield: Sage Guardian - A wise protector focused on mental and physical health.
Mental Sphere + Social Shield: Diplomatic Mage - Combines mental acumen with social adeptness and health.
Stamina Link:
Mental Sphere + Physical Shield: Mystic Endurer - Focuses on sustaining mental abilities through physical stamina.
Mental Sphere + Mental Shield: Ethereal Sage - A scholar who uses mental prowess to manage energy effectively.
Mental Sphere + Social Shield: Enigmatic Leader - Uses intelligence and wisdom in social contexts with a focus on endurance.
Faith Link:
Mental Sphere + Physical Shield: Spiritual Warrior - Merges mental skills with faith-driven physical strength.
Mental Sphere + Mental Shield: High Priest - A spiritual leader focusing on mental strength and spiritual health.
Mental Sphere + Social Shield: Charismatic Seer - Combines mental wisdom with faith and social influence.
Social Sphere Archetypes
Constitution Link:
Social Sphere + Physical Shield: Resilient Diplomat - Focuses on social skills and robust health.
Social Sphere + Mental Shield: Counselor of Resolve - Uses social charm in tandem with mental resilience.
Social Sphere + Social Shield: Influential Guardian - A social leader who excels in maintaining health and presence.
Stamina Link:
Social Sphere + Physical Shield: Energetic Envoy - Specializes in using social skills with sustained physical energy.
Social Sphere + Mental Shield: Mystic Envoy - Combines social charisma with the stamina to wield mystical energies.
Social Sphere + Social Shield: Enduring Diplomat - A social specialist who excels in energy management and charisma.
Faith Link:
Social Sphere + Physical Shield: Charismatic Protector - Uses social skills and charisma to bolster physical and spiritual health.
Social Sphere + Mental Shield: Faithful Ambassador - Combines social acumen with a deep spiritual connection.
Social Sphere + Social Shield: Spiritual Leader - Leads with charisma, backed by faith and social strength.
Each archetype represents a unique blend of sphere attributes and shield focuses, mediated by the links of Constitution, Stamina, and Faith. This framework allows for diverse character roles and play styles within your game. If you need further elaboration or additional concepts, feel free to ask!
User
pick a random shield class and sphere class and link class
mental sphere enchanter prophet, aegis shield soul defender, mental link constitution=> mental to mental through constitution = sage guardian
result enchanter prophet, soul defnder, sage guardian
GPT
Randomly selected classes from each category are:
Sphere Class: Bard
Shield Class: Endurance Sentinel
Link Class: Counselor of Resolve
Combining these, we get an archetype that merges the artistic and charismatic qualities of a Bard, the stamina-focused resilience of an Endurance Sentinel, and the social adaptability and conflict resolution skills of a Counselor of Resolve. This unique blend creates a character adept in social situations, with a strong emphasis on endurance and the ability to navigate and resolve conflicts effectively. ​​
User
u would still need to pick one of these exterity-Strength Bard: Warrior Poet
Dexterity-Intelligence Bard: Cunning Lyricist
Dexterity-Wisdom Bard: Sage Performer
Dexterity-Charisma Bard: Master Entertainer
Dexterity-Luck Bard: Lucky Minstrel
and endurance sentinel is physical so your link would need to be social to physical so charismatic protector or energetic envoy or resilient diplomat
GPT
Thank you for the guidance. Let's refine the archetype using the specific classes you've provided. Since the randomly chosen Sphere class is a Bard (Dexterity), we'll select a subclass of Bard that best fits the theme:
Bard Subclass: Dexterity-Charisma Bard: Master Entertainer
For the Shield class, we have the Endurance Sentinel (Physical), and we need to link it from the Social to the Physical. Let's choose an appropriate link class:
Link Class (Social to Physical): Charismatic Protector
Combining these selections, the resultant archetype could be described as a Master Entertainer who is also an Endurance Sentinel, tied together through the qualities of a Charismatic Protector. This character would excel in captivating audiences and handling social situations with charisma while possessing remarkable physical endurance and protective abilities.

The martial arts which I have the most experience in is Wrestling, Bjj, Judo, and then Sambo. For striking, Muay Thai, kick boxing, boxing in that order. I've done these for a few years, not equally though, so I did striking for one year, but then transitioned to grappling more, and I do striking now and again. I'm well acquainted with the culture of all of these with the exception of boxing due to mainly training at an mma gym and not a boxing club. From all of these arts, the worst culture I experienced was in Bjj and no other art comes close. After Bjj, I don't really have any negative views on the culture of any martial art, and by culture, I mean the broader community aspect, not individual clubs or methods, and so while boxing gyms may make you do a ton of cardio, I think that's more about training methods and the effectiveness of those can be questioned as part of another discussion.
Here are some of my observations:
Hierarchy
While Judo also has a hierachy and it is part and parcel of Judo culture, it is rooted in Japanese culture, and so there's an emphasis on honour, respecting your teacher, and taking care of your partner. This is a remnant of the culture in which it came from, and the only real effect of it is in bowing, lining up in belt order, and not doing things like putting your belt on the floor. While some clubs may have a traditional culture in Judo, the sports clubs keep the honour system and emphasis on hierachy to a minimum, at least in the West. So while there is a hierarchy, you'll never see things like mocking lower belts, but instead they are encouraged and are included in the club as equals, you won't see instructors saying you're doing 5th Kyu moves and so on.
I can't say the same for Bjj, the hierachy is present in Bjj, and yet there are additional elements which make it toxic. Seeing higher belts making jokes about white belts and saying "that's such a white belt move" is very common, calling anything ineffective as a lower belt move is common, and anything that's negative is called "white belt". Then there's also the social media aspect where the instructors share memes mocking white belts or making generalisations about other belts such as purple belts skipping warm ups or brown belts being overweight.
I think this is uncouth and undignified since these are people who have decided to take part in a martial art, and instead of them being made to feel included and valued, they're basically worthless until they've proven themselves to be in it for the long run which is usually when they're grades to blue belt, and then they're given respect. There is a bit of this in boxing where the coach will pay no attention to the beginners unless they show up for a few months and then the coach will say these are serious people and then pay attention. However, this is almost a self fulfilling prophecy in the sense that, the coach pays no attention, the beginners leave due to not receiving attention, the coach then says these weren't serious people and deserves no attention, however had they received attention, perhaps they would have stayed.
The hierachy is generally in the form of how different belts are perceived, and the respect they are given. Sambo and Wrestling doesn't have ranks but there's no mockery of amateus of beginners either. I'm not talking about your instructor, team mates etc making a off handed comment, I'm sure that happens in every art but Bjj alone makes a big deal of saying things like white belts do xyz, blue belts quit, and so on.
Sexual jokes/gay jokes/mocking your own art
You have a ton of "gay jokes", I'm not the sort of person who is offended by this, not just because I'm not gay but also because some of these comments in other areas are part of banter, albeit it's outdated and some people may not like it. What I find weird is when you're doing this to your own art, it's pretty dumb and insecure. It's a sort of insecurity masked by jokes rather than tackling it head on. If we take wrestling, then the things which make Bjj sexual apply more to wrestling and yet in wrestling, there's no degrading your own art and trying to "recognise the absurdity".
The angle I'm coming from is not, "that's homophobic" but rather, you're so insecure that you're mocking your own hobby and art rather than defending it. I get that in the U.S some people may make jokes about wrestling being gay etc, but where I'm from, Pehlwani (wrestling) is highly respected and you'd never see any comment like that, albeit the culture doesn't give room for sexual jokes, but even then, it's given respect. Bjj has a huge emphasis on respect within the community enforced through the hierachy, but to others, they openly mock their own hobby. It's quite difficult for me to place my finger on what I find particularly problematic but it's almost as if these people don't have the guts to challenge perceptions and to distance themselves from it being seen as sexual which would no doubt increase participants, but instead they're playing in on it. While the example is not good, what comes to mind is pole dancing. No doubt there is a sexual element to it, but it's also an art, and there's a lot of push back on it being seen as sexual, but there's no push back in Bjj. People like Craig Jones openly encourage others to recognise the absurdity and to play in on it. No doubt this will put many people off, especially women.
Hazing
When I got my belts in Judo, I did the grading, bowed, got my belt, and then bowed again. That was it. In Bjj, this doesn't happen, there's a sort of "frat culture" where getting a belt is an opportunity for a bit of hazing where you get whipped by everyone or there's a shark tank where you roll with everyone. The latter isn't degrading or harmful, but I find it odd that it's a thing to be hazed when being graded. Why exactly? Shouldn't this be a moment of celebration rather than a punishment masquerading as comradery?
instructor worship
There is this element in Judo too, but the Judokas don't really use their position as a Sensei to act like philosophers and nor do they act like they deserve special treatment for being a black belt. I'm sure this exists in some places, but not in the West from what I've seen. In Bjj, not only do the instructors want a special form of respect, they use this position to insert themselves as specialists in all other areas.
Right wing culture
My Judo club is mostly left wing, my Bjj club is mostly right wing. The latter is full of racism, bigotry, conspiracy theories, and bigotry.
Bjj does seem to attract the right wing crowd in a way that Judo does not do, perhaps it's due to Judo being more "proper" and an Olympic art, but I find it odd how out of all the arts I do, Bjj has a horrible right wing culture. While the people in the Judo club are left wing, they do not seem vocal about their beliefs and are generally not trying to make associations between being left wing and being a Judoka, whereas the Bjj guys are very vocal about being anti-vax, and they're constantly trying to associate doing Bjj with being right wing by linking it with being tough and manly and contrasting it with being weak and "liberal". This also exists in wrestling where I'm from albeit it's more mixed so you have some left wing people too, but in my Bjj club, I'd say 99% are right wing, and the people I've spoke to who are left wing are maybe around 5 or 6.
I get that all these elements will be present in every other martial art, Bjj is not unique in this and nor are other martial arts free from toxicity. These elements exist in those martial arts too, but I feel that this seems to be very common in Bjj and the extent to which it exists in Bjj surpasses the extent to which it exists in other martial arts.
Edit: Spelling errors, rewording some stuff.