How to make a rosary with head pins

Like the title says, don't give a fk about people crying and disliking this post, this is just so annoying
Im literally more mad at you people than at the players, like you keep watching a 4 split 200 seat LEC bs tournament where the trophy is a piece of sh*t shaped like a shield and then wonder why they don't perform internationally, I have been watching this sh*T since S5, saying is ok , is ok , is ok every single time and acting like the people that are critical are the evil ones, is insane, nothing has ever changed, especially these last 4 years, saying things like they won over TES, and who didn't? like worlds 2022, 2021 both FPX and TES were 2nd seed and didnt make it out of group, aint SPECIAL, is literally normal at this point for LPL 2nd seed to be inters especially if they have Tian in it apparently
Im not saying to send death threats or anything but like you people don't wanna criticize them even a little bit, like god forbid anyone says anything even a little bit critical of the gameplay cause we will kill him, like how dare he say that, here G2, let me just buy 2 more $100 t-shirts, I will also support you at Saudi Arabia's worlds cup, bcs you deserve it, same way for FNC, you all deserve all the money in the world, actually perform like how league esports is supposed to be about, NAAH, just exist there and we will give you money forever
and is always same bs, we will get back up, bro you have been saying that since the dawn of time, im not saying is bad to be positive, LIKE I LOVE, I LOVE POSITIVITY BUT DAMN, damn this is just stupidity, not positivity, is like running head first into a wall over and over and over again and expect change, like HOW? how tf do you expect to get better when you people also defend any change, remove bs bo1 and make it a bo3 while giving bottom tier teams actually a change to improve instead of removing them completely after like 3 weeks and then we wonder why teams like KC are still at the bottom when those ERL players had only fking 18 games in the last 5 months played in LEC, 18 FKING GAMES, and we wonder why they suck, are you all for real at this point or what? is bcs omg the viewership and money and sh*t, oh yeah and what have they done with the amount of viewers that they keep getting?? did they do anything amazing, do you love the new HUGE studio? the amazing new trophy? the amazing finals?? do you love them, like I hope you do

My almost 4 year old used to be so easy to put to bed. He slept in a cot in our room, until about 3. We could put him in his cot, say goodnight and walk out and turn the light off. He’d be asleep in minutes. Same for naps. Once he started climbing out, just around his 3rd birthday, we took the side off the cot and converted to the toddler bed set up. Since then he has never again slept in that bed. He has slept with us. This wouldn’t bother me, but now it takes on average 2-3 hours to get him to sleep. He’s awake most nights until 10, sometimes even 11. The last year has been hell.
I’m 36 weeks pregnant and at my absolute wits end. The nightly struggle to get him to sleep is exhausting. I have no idea how it’s going to work once baby #2 arrives in a few weeks.
Ever since he started sleeping in our bed, he becomes extremely hyperactive. He jumps all over the bed, does somersaults, kicks his legs endlessly, climbs the bed head and launches off it. He lies horizontally and kicks me in the back. He gets out and runs around, opens the bedroom door and wanders out. Any attempts we make to stop this are met with laughter and more jumping/kicking etc. Unfortunately he has kicked my pregnant belly, landed on it and rolled into it.
This kid is such a great kid the rest of the time. It’s just at bedtime. We read to him, we’ve tried various games, wrapping him up like a burrito and other OT recommended activities. We’ve been working on his bedroom, with a new ‘big boy’ bed, decor themed around his favourite things etc and are very keen to transition him to his room. We’ve got him a king single so my husband can lay with him too.
I am desperate to hear any suggestions to get my kid to go to sleep, in his own bed, at a reasonable time without literal kicking and screaming.

I am currently away on a month long vacation and NF has been slightly bitter about it (saying things like “you abandoned us and made our life harder but we love you haha!”). We don’t have a contract so I don’t have allotted PTO but I always give a heads up and never cancel day before or even week before. I also offer to work on other days of the week to make up for missing work on regular work days.
Here’s my issue - A week after I return, my husband has to attend a conference in another city for 3-4 days. I would like to go with him because I have family there I haven’t seen in a long time. Even if I don’t go with him, I won’t have a vehicle because we share one so I can’t get to work (40 min drive away). I want to let NF know asap but know they are going to make a fuss about it. I’m planning to work immediately after I return (which will suck because of the long flight and time difference but I feel guilty) and and going to offer to work up until the conference trip. How can I word that I need more time off in a way where they will understand?

Actually he is my uncle but he has been the father figure since I was around 10. I'm 23 now.
So I did something (cooked some onion) and he commented about how "that's not how it's done". I thought it was (mistakenly so) so I said "it is done like this". He repeats himself and so do I two or three times, after which he was getting visibly angry. Just his face, he was actually containing it, which was apparent.
But this was enough to trigger me (if you wish to know why this was triggering there's a recent post about it on my profile, trigger warning for physical violence and humiliation). He started to leave after doing some explaining and when he was walking away I said smt like "you're already getting crazy!" (Which in our language sounds kinda worse but idk how to translate) Meaning the visible anger on his face that triggered me was overreacting to me just contradicting him. Supposedly, me just bluntly replying "yes it's done like this" is provocative.
Anyways after hearing that he comes back and gets in my face. He wasn't going to hit me, that's "in the past", but he feinted and I turned my head, expecting a hit. Somehow we ended up talking for like two hours, there were many points we both wanted to get across to the other and I doubt there was much mutual understanding , but what's relevant to this post is that he made it known that things would be "worse" if I ever spoke to him like that. That he would beat me if I called him an idiot.
He showed me how he has been containing himself all this time, and that even know after saying you're going crazy he didn't hit me. That's true.
He said he really hates being offended. He told me that one time when he asked a worker that was doing stuff in our house for something, the dude just turned his back to him and my dad screamed so loudly the dude was startled. Like did a little jump.
I'm like: you think that's good for your health? You've been containing your temper lately, you think it's good? Repressing it even further will only make it worse in the long run and you will stop being so effective at restraining yourself when you want to. He seems to think he knows a thing or two about psychology so he replied with condescension at my suggestion that he needs to fix the anger issues instead of just controlling himself when they arise. Whatever.
It sucks. What's even worse is that most lf the time he is normal. Like 999/1000 times. Our baseline is good terms right now. But my subconscious still remembers, I haven't unpacked all those things yet. I don't like knowing that my father would beat me up for offending him. I don't like not saying something to him (even if it is calling him stupid) only because of fear of physical responses.
I told him many things, like how it sucks fearing my own father and he said "don't provoque me then".I painted a hypothetical situation in which I called him an idiot to ask him what would happen if he didn't react in an aggressive/violent manner, he replied and finished with "but better never call me that". I was like "wouldn't you stop to think why would your son call you that? Why would anybody call their dad that way if everything was good? Or why I said you were getting crazy?" And whatever the fuck his reply was to that it probably boiled down to "you have no business saying those things". Sure, calling someone an idiot isn't good. Focus on that. .
My repressed emotions to his attitude all this years were there in the conversation. I kept stopping because the knot in my throat wouldn't let me talk, tears on my eyes. This didn't seem to communicate anything to him.
I wonder what I'll do when I get stronger than him. I'd be so tempted to start something just to show him he can't overpower me anymore. I wouldn't even hit him, just restrain him and faking a hit just so he sees what it feels like. Even then, I don't think it compares to an adult doing that to a kid or teenager. He has heart issues though, and as much as I wish for payback, I feel like his rage would be so much worse after being restrained that his heart could worsen (also I understand revenge makes no real sense, forgive them Father for they not what they do, if he could understand he would).
Anyway. We hadn't had an altercation like this in a while, and it's the first time I actually said something like that to him. He won't hit me if I don't insult him. But his intimidating nature is still present at times, for example when I don't listen to him and stubbornly oppose him (it happens sometimes but I only with him, surprised?) And knowing he can get like violent or just verbally aggressive doesn't make the "good times" worth it. He is a "good charismatic person" basically all the time except when these things happen. But I'm at odds with the fact that if I ever fail to contain my subconscious resentment to him and call him something (motherfucker, idiot, stupid high-iq but low-eq controlling dumbfuck) I'll get beat up. I understand that healing is on me to stop walking on eggshells when he is around, but I'm starting to dislike him on a more conscious level now. Which is confusing too because everytime I've brought this up to my mother, she seemed to understand part of how I was feeling, but ultimately it boiled down to "he's family and will catch a bullet for you, will always drop anything he is doing when we need help". WHICH IS TRUE BUT I DON'T CARE
AITAH for wanting to keep interactions with him at the bare minimum?
EDIT: I'd love to move out. I live with my mom, grandma and grandpa. He lives in the city and comes by 1/2/3 times a week, frequently spending the night or two. I still love them, and especially my mom and her parents, but being able to fuck off whenever I need to without resorting to going some place or park would be great. But I can't. I'd put an extremely tough burden on my mom, she'd have no live left: she works a lot, grandpa is getting very old but main thing is taking care of my grandma, there are some things like lifting her that only I can do because grandpa is too old and uncle can't due to some tendon issues on his arms. Besides the option to start earning a metric shitload of money to retire her and be able to afford 24/7 elderly care personnel, do you have any ideas about how to approach this?
EDIT: at some point he brought up the "how much love we gave you" situation. Now here is what disturbs me. It's true, I've been given tons of love, patience, opoortunities, the works, not only from the rest of the family but from him as well. So I imagine myself as a parent that loves their kid so much, and then I imagine myself intimidating him because he called me crazy, or hitting him because he didn't listen and did something different from what we had agreed on, behind my back, for the millionth time. It feels wrong, it feels ignorant. I'd be wondering why the fuck does my son agree to do a certain thing and when it comes time to it, he does a different one. I'd start thinking about why he keeps lying about school grades, failing to pass the year even when he sees how bad it stresses his mother out... Instead of hitting him in the face with a closed fist (but hey, it wasn't full force!!) because he keeps lying and driving his mom crazy.
But hey, that's me. I'm "not the one to teach him about psychology"

So I was in a wlw relationship for about a year and things didn’t work out. Around 6/8 months later I met this really sweet baker (man) and now we’ve been in a relationship for about 5 months. I love him and he’s so sweet and tries to be as understanding as possible when it comes to my identity. Recently though, there have been little things that he does that remind me he’s just a man. I catch myself being frustrated and thinking about how in a wlw relationship I’d never have to deal with this whenever he does something that usually only men do. Like for example we were talking about tattoos and he showed me multiple tattoos and one of them was a drawing of a naked girl. I express that I’ve always felt weird about people especially men getting naked bodies tatted on them with no subjective meaning behind it, it feels very objectifying to me. And he was like “eh beg to differ, tattoos don’t always have to be that deep” and then we got into this whole big conversation of me explaining that yes tattoos don’t have to be that deep but it’s not just a tatt it’s a body and bodies should be something your Intentional with and it makes me uncomfortable that he isn’t uncomfortable enough with my discomfort to agree with me and change his stand point. I even went as far to look up if other people felt the same way and a lot of women agree it’s just weird and ornamental. He didn’t seem to care about my findings, This made me even more mad because as a woman if I am saying you are objectifying and using women’s bodies as decorations then as my man I’d want you to immediately want to change that behavior. Like most of these conversations he ended up agreeing with me and telling me what I needed to hear to feel safe and comfortable again but during the convo I couldn’t help but circle back to my past relationship and Lana del Rey’s Norman fuxking Rockwell just kept replaying in my head. Is this gender culture shock normal? Am I wrong for thinking about being w a woman in these times? Help pls!

Actually he is my uncle but he has been the father figure since I was around 10. I'm 23 now.
So I did something (cooked some onion) and he commented about how "that's not how it's done". I thought it was (mistakenly so) so I said "it is done like this". He repeats himself and so do I two or three times, after which he was getting visibly angry. Just his face, he was actually containing it, which was apparent.
But this was enough to trigger me (if you wish to know why this was triggering there's a recent post about it on my profile, trigger warning for physical violence and humiliation). He started to leave after doing some explaining and when he was walking away I said smt like "you're already getting crazy!" (Which in our language sounds kinda worse but idk how to translate) Meaning the visible anger on his face that triggered me was overreacting to me just contradicting him. Supposedly, me just bluntly replying "yes it's done like this" is provocative.
Anyways after hearing that he comes back and gets in my face. He wasn't going to hit me, that's "in the past", but he feinted and I turned my head, expecting a hit. Somehow we ended up talking for like two hours, there were many points we both wanted to get across to the other and I doubt there was much mutual understanding , but what's relevant to this post is that he made it known that things would be "worse" if I ever spoke to him like that. That he would beat me if I called him an idiot.
He showed me how he has been containing himself all this time, and that even know after saying you're going crazy he didn't hit me. That's true.
He said he really hates being offended. He told me that one time when he asked a worker that was doing stuff in our house for something, the dude just turned his back to him and my dad screamed so loudly the dude was startled. Like did a little jump.
I'm like: you think that's good for your health? You've been containing your temper lately, you think it's good? Repressing it even further will only make it worse in the long run and you will stop being so effective at restraining yourself when you want to. He seems to think he knows a thing or two about psychology so he replied with condescension at my suggestion that he needs to fix the anger issues instead of just controlling himself when they arise. Whatever.
It sucks. What's even worse is that most lf the time he is normal. Like 999/1000 times. Our baseline is good terms right now. But my subconscious still remembers, I haven't unpacked all those things yet. I don't like knowing that my father would beat me up for offending him. I don't like not saying something to him (even if it is calling him stupid) only because of fear of physical responses.
I told him many things, like how it sucks fearing my own father and he said "don't provoque me then".I painted a hypothetical situation in which I called him an idiot to ask him what would happen if he didn't react in an aggressive/violent manner, he replied and finished with "but better never call me that". I was like "wouldn't you stop to think why would your son call you that? Why would anybody call their dad that way if everything was good? Or why I said you were getting crazy?" And whatever the fuck his reply was to that it probably boiled down to "you have no business saying those things". Sure, calling someone an idiot isn't good. Focus on that. .
My repressed emotions to his attitude all this years were there in the conversation. I kept stopping because the knot in my throat wouldn't let me talk, tears on my eyes. This didn't seem to communicate anything to him.
I wonder what I'll do when I get stronger than him. I'd be so tempted to start something just to show him he can't overpower me anymore. I wouldn't even hit him, just restrain him and faking a hit just so he sees what it feels like. Even then, I don't think it compares to an adult doing that to a kid or teenager. He has heart issues though, and as much as I wish for payback, I feel like his rage would be so much worse after being restrained that his heart could worsen (also I understand revenge makes no real sense, forgive them Father for they not what they do, if he could understand he would).
Anyway. We hadn't had an altercation like this in a while, and it's the first time I actually said something like that to him. He won't hit me if I don't insult him. But his intimidating nature is still present at times, for example when I don't listen to him and stubbornly oppose him (it happens sometimes but I only with him, surprised?) And knowing he can get like violent or just verbally aggressive doesn't make the "good times" worth it. He is a "good charismatic person" basically all the time except when these things happen. But I'm at odds with the fact that if I ever fail to contain my subconscious resentment to him and call him something (motherfucker, idiot, stupid high-iq but low-eq controlling dumbfuck) I'll get beat up. I understand that healing is on me to stop walking on eggshells when he is around, but I'm starting to dislike him on a more conscious level now. Which is confusing too because everytime I've brought this up to my mother, she seemed to understand part of how I was feeling, but ultimately it boiled down to "he's family and will catch a bullet for you, will always drop anything he is doing when we need help". WHICH IS TRUE BUT I DON'T CARE
AITAH for wanting to keep interactions with him at the bare minimum?
EDIT: I'd love to move out. I live with my mom, grandma and grandpa. He lives in the city and comes by 1/2/3 times a week, frequently spending the night or two. I still love them, and especially my mom and her parents, but being able to fuck off whenever I need to without resorting to going some place or park would be great. But I can't. I'd put an extremely tough burden on my mom, she'd have no live left: she works a lot, grandpa is getting very old but main thing is taking care of my grandma, there are some things like lifting her that only I can do because grandpa is too old and uncle can't due to some tendon issues on his arms. Besides the option to start earning a metric shitload of money to retire her and be able to afford 24/7 elderly care personnel, do you have any ideas about how to approach this?
EDIT: at some point he brought up the "how much love we gave you" situation. Now here is what disturbs me. It's true, I've been given tons of love, patience, opoortunities, the works, not only from the rest of the family but from him as well. So I imagine myself as a parent that loves their kid so much, and then I imagine myself intimidating him because he called me crazy, or hitting him because he didn't listen and did something different from what we had agreed on, behind my back, for the millionth time. It feels wrong, it feels ignorant. I'd be wondering why the fuck does my son agree to do a certain thing and when it comes time to it, he does a different one. I'd start thinking about why he keeps lying about school grades, failing to pass the year even when he sees how bad it stresses his mother out... Instead of hitting him in the face with a closed fist (but hey, it wasn't full force!!) because he keeps lying and driving his mom crazy.
But hey, that's me. I'm "not the one to teach him about psychology"

I'd been interested in running/playing CoC for a while now, and after rewatching Seth Skorkowsky's video about Uncle Timothy's Will I decided the role play focus would be fun for the group I play with. It couldn't have gone better. There was enough interest that I ended up running 2 Sessions: one last week and one last night.
If you're unfamiliar with the scenario, it centers on 6 cousins being called together to the family estate to hear the reading of their uncle's will, and they're all awful. My players loved role playing these terrible, rich, petty people. My second group ended up with 2 players fairly new to ttrpgs ,and they also threw themselves into rping these awful characters.
Unfortunately, only one group sort of succeeded in the scenario. The dead uncle requires 6 fresh hearts to complete a ritual of immortality. The first group, although many died or were maimed, managed to blow up the house and escape, killing everyone who was helping the Uncle with his ritual. With no one alive and no hearts to collect, he eventually ran out of propane to keep him malleable, and is now trapped as a block of fat in a pot underground.
2 PCs escaped in that first session. The party girl managed to climb out of a second story window, and she decided to just disappear. She traveled the world and left her name and connections behind. The other survivor was the college dropout, writer, and political activist. His survival was a minor miracle aided by Luck. When the supernatural elements of the scenario unveiled themselves, he suffered psychosomatic blindness and spent the majority of the fight blind. That on its own would have been bad enough, but another player managed to set the house on fire, the blind player pulled an unlit oil lamp on himself, soaking himself in oil due to a failed pushed roll, and then he pushed a second roll, failed, and caught fire. He managed to get outside, strip his burning clothes off, and as the blindness wore off ran to the town at the bottom of the mountain. He then wrote a novel based on his experiences, which became a bestseller.
This first group didn't get an opportunity to really investigate what was happening since one PC was snooping around very early in the morning, saw the maid going into the woods, followed her to where the Uncle's melted body fat was being kept in a liquid state, and kind of caused every bad thing that would have happened throughout the weekend to all happen at once.
The 2nd group, who played last night were doing much better overall, but had terrible luck, and I rolled several statistically improbable extreme successes in the last hour of the session. Unfortunately, when they confronted Uncle Timothy's, he managed to kill 2 of them with extreme successes on his attacks gaining his 3rd and 4th heart, the remaining PCs had retreated, but left behind one bound NPC and and one unconscious PC which gave him his 5th and 6th hearts completing his ritual. The 3 surviving PCs hopped in their car, but due to the storm and general danger of the road and a failed push roll, they ran off the road and rolled down the mountain side, leaving no survivors.
Despite neither group "winning" the scenario, both groups had a blast with it. Last night, I laughed so hard I got light-headed at their antics and petty comments toward one another in-character. If you have a ttrpg group that loves roleplay, this is a great scenario. Both of my groups spent the first 2 hours of each session just talking in character with each other and the help. My first group also immediately started making alliances and blackmailing each other. It was great.
I don't know that I have a point, but I wanted to share our experience since everyone had such a great time. If you've run this scenario, I'd live to hear how your investigators faired.

Hi everybody.
I'm new to the diet and I just can't comprehend what's the situation with fat.
Some people say to eat a lot of it, then I see pics of people's meals and they're not drowning in fat, so how does it look in practice?
I'm really bad at undestanging procentages and weighed amounts, could anyone just explain it to me in some practical way? That I could understand it and know once and for all? Maybe some pics of your meals too? I just can't wrap my head around it.
Not knowing it makes it harder for me. I'm basically on meat, eggs and some semi hard cheeses (unfortunately have cheat days too), and I feel way better then before, but I wanna do it the right way.
When I add too much fat I've worse stomach issues and diarrhea (which I already have by default) and I feel sick. When I add some fat, it's all good but I've no idea what the proper amount should be and then I overthink and cheat and all goes to hell.
Thanks in advance for your help.

So I was in a wlw relationship for about a year and things didn’t work out. Around 6/8 months later I met this really sweet baker (man) and now we’ve been in a relationship for about 5 months. I love him and he’s so sweet and tries to be as understanding as possible when it comes to my identity. Recently though, there have been little things that he does that remind me he’s just a man. I catch myself being frustrated and thinking about how in a wlw relationship I’d never have to deal with this whenever he does something that usually only men do. Like for example we were talking about tattoos and he showed me multiple tattoos and one of them was a drawing of a naked girl. I express that I’ve always felt weird about people especially men getting naked bodies tatted on them with no subjective meaning behind it, it feels very objectifying to me. And he was like “eh beg to differ, tattoos don’t always have to be that deep” and then we got into this whole big conversation of me explaining that yes tattoos don’t have to be that deep but it’s not just a tatt it’s a body and bodies should be something your Intentional with and it makes me uncomfortable that he isn’t uncomfortable enough with my discomfort to agree with me and change his stand point. I even went as far to look up if other people felt the same way and a lot of women agree it’s just weird and ornamental. He didn’t seem to care about my findings, This made me even more mad because as a woman if I am saying you are objectifying and using women’s bodies as decorations then as my man I’d want you to immediately want to change that behavior. Like most of these conversations he ended up agreeing with me and telling me what I needed to hear to feel safe and comfortable again but during the convo I couldn’t help but circle back to my past relationship and Lana del Rey’s Norman fuxking Rockwell just kept replaying in my head. Is this gender culture shock normal? Am I wrong for thinking about being w a woman in these times? Help pls!

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For a moment I am shocked. If I had expected anyone to be here, aside from the Librarian herself, it would be Ricardo! But I guess the world is trying to surprise me today? Then again, considering the rumors, miss Pelafina wasn’t that much of an outrage either.

Then it hits me. What does she mean ‘took you long enough’, huh!?

“She was waiting for y—”

Yes I get that part! Was this whole deal a game for her?

I take my first steps towards her, a little indignant and I feel it is justified, but then I notice something in the corner of my eye. Movement. I immediately turn on my heels to face it: there’s shades of black in the darkness, at least in one spot. Soon, a figure steps up from the corner of the room, dressed in a long black cloak, dressing pants and elegant shoes. The hood covers their head and some magical darkness obscurs their eyes, but I can see a few locks of green hair slip from underneath the shadow.

The figure lifts a hand, they are even wearing black gloves! That’s some commitment to the bit.

“Yo. The name is Lucía. Sorry for skulking around but it is kind of my job; I assume you already know Overseer Pelafina?” She smirks. “She gets around! She said she was waiting for a Bastard to arrive but, Hell, we thought it was just an excuse of hers to skip work!”

“I am very responsible, excuse you.” Pelafina frowns, shaking her head softly. “Ignore Lucy, dear. She’s just my assigned guard, here to keep me safe!”

Her assigned guard? So she IS with the Cloaks after all! I mean, if the cloak she’s wearing wasn’t indication enough. I don’t like her, not one bit. She’s smiling too much, just balancing on her heels and toes while I stand there. I don’t wanna say I hate her, we’ve barely exchanged words… but I don’t like her. Not one bit.

I decide to take Pelafina’s words to heart and ignore her, when another thing hits me.

“Overseer Pelafina!? But you’re just the lady from the bookstore!” I think my eyes are going to jump right out of my skull like in one of those old cartoons.

“A girl has to move up in this world if she wants to survive.” The old lady chuckled, just a little bit. “You know my name, but I never truly caught yours though. How do we call you, dear?”

Fuck, here we go with names again… but hey, maybe this is a great chance to build a new identity for myself!

“People call me Tav.” I say, trying to puff up my chest a bit.

“That was not what she asked though!” Lucía intervenes with a singsongy voice.

“Oh let her have her own nom de guerre, Lucy. It’s adorable!” Having these two messing with me is really going to be bad for my health. I’ll have to endure it though. “Alright then, Tav. If you’re here, I assume you managed to read through the book at least a bit?”

I flinch. Just how much does this woman know? Did she know the contents of the book from the start? Is this a weird ‘Hero’s journey’ situation? A mysterious adventure she has sent me into so I grow as a person?

Or is she just fucking with me.

“Well? Don’t keep me waiting! It’s been days!” Pelafina insists with a twinkle shining in her eyes.

“... I have a few words translated.” I managed to say.

“Oh great! So Humiko left you hints. That’s great.”

“Miss Pelafina–”

“Please, just call me P.”

“Uhm. Miss P.” I gulp. “Just how much do you know of the book, exactly?”

“Well, Humiko asked me personally to keep it safe, so that’s one thing.” The overseer counts with her fingers. “I know it is written in Magic Runes, which… shouldn’t be possible, and yet, there it is! I trust Humiko enough to know it has to be real.”

“Wait.” I blink. “What do you mean ‘shouldn’t be possible’?”

“Magic is not a language, or at least it hasn’t been understood as one until… well, right now.” The old lady smiles a bit wider. “If you manage to make more sense of it than a few phrases, you’d be making history, boy!”

Again with the damn gendering… I frown a little bit but, try not to make it too visible. I gotta focus.

“Yeah, get it together. This is not the time for your ridiculous whining.”

Sigh.

“So you know what the book is, but you don’t know what it says.”

“To be honest, I am not really sure what it is either.” Pelafina admits with an embarrassed grin. “All I know is that it is a project Humiko had for a long time already, and according to her express instructions, the hints could only be read by a sleeper.”

I haven’t really checked if I can no longer check Humiko’s note in the book, so there’s homework for when I return.

“I am sorry we put this on you with deceit and all, but would you have really believed me if I said ‘You have to study magic’ just like that?” The old lady shrugs. “It was necessary, and if Ricardo could see the potential in you, then this was surely the correct choice.”

“Is Ricardo an Overseer too?” I feel like that is a sensible question.

“Oh heavens no, he’s a Sleeper. Not a word of this to him, you hear me?” P’s gesture grows severe for a moment. “I don’t want him involved in such things at his age. He had enough adventures already.”

I guess the rumors of Ricardo being a world-trotting adventurer are also true. Huh.

“So. Tell me, what did you learn?”

She’s very eager… I can notice Lucía’s gaze on me, too. They are both very, very eager.

“This doesn’t make sense.”

Right? It’s all wrong.

The book’s first warning was to avoid the cloaks, and yet here’s P! Just hanging out with this one, talking about the book like it’s nothing!

Well, if it’s true that she doesn’t know the contents, I can lie through my teeth!

“Well… I’ve learned a few characters. Do you have somewhere to write?” My body suddenly relaxes, my demeanor tightens. I may be bad at many things, but lying? I was born lying in this world and I can keep it up no matter what.

“Ah, sure. Lucy!”

The guard walks up to me casually, offering me a fancy black leather notebook decorated with a golden apple and a silver arrow piercing it. She even opens the yellow pages for me, and provides a cheap plastic pen.

I nod, and quickly begin scribbling.

I scribble ‘Tlo’i’, ‘Golthoi’ and ‘Thako’ with their respective symbols.

“There. These are the ones I’ve learned.”

Lucía looks at me dead in the eye for a moment. I can feel the sharpness of her wit, she’s trying to read me… but it will be useless. I am in a dissertation now, bitch. I’ve been doing these for years, it’s my one skill.

“Interesting.” Lucía nods.

“So, what do these mean?” Pelafina approaches us to check on the symbols. “Terrible calligraphy, by the way.”

“Yeah, I know.” The confidence abandons me for a moment, before I puff up my chest again and begin talking. “The first one is the word for ‘Butterfly’. The second one is a word for the action of turning something on, the third one… I am not sure yet.”

“When used on a spell, it makes the effect happen upon touching the glyph.” Lucía knows. “It’s a very common one.”

“Glyph?” I tilt my head.

“She means a combination of Runes, dear.” P smiles warmly. “Alright, so ‘Butterfly’, ‘Ignite’ and ‘Touch’, then?”

I never said ‘Ignite’ for Golthoi, but I guess that is a interpretation of it?

… Interesting. That these things have different meanings in different contexts, would that affect casting?

“Ah, I also found this.” I draw ‘Jo’ in the book. “Does this mean anything?”

“That one is used to counteract spells. If you draw this in a Glyph, it cancels its effect.” Lucía seems happy to provide the knowledge I lack.

I actually appreciate it, for it immediately made something click in my brain.

“It means ‘No’.” A voice whispers in my head, my own voice.

Yes. It’s a negative. That’s why it isn’t so common on its own. When added to another symbol, it negates it. ‘No-Light’ must be a way to say ‘Darkness’ or such… or… backwards, ‘No-Darkness’ equals ‘Light’.

Would this be dependent on the culture?

I smile a little bit to myself. This knowledge I will keep up my sleeve for now.

“What’s that smile for? Did you see something new?” Lucía is way too sharp to keep that smile from. I have to make something up quick.

“I realized I now know how to counter spells. That’s so cool…” I whisper to myself, channeling some of that wonder into my lie.

She seems to buy it, for she immediately focuses on correcting me.

“Knowing the Counterspell Rune is not enough, there are other factors to consider, so don’t go around trying to counter every spell so quickly.” She give me a smile I really dislike.

“Hmmm… well, that’s plenty for now,if that is all.” Pelafina shrugs softly. “It is quite late already… go back home for now, Tav.”

“B-But. I have so many questions!” I immediately pout. Saints damn it, so close to learn actually useful stuff!

“Yes, but sadly I cannot teach you. As the Overseer, I am bound by oath to remain neutral and not show favoritism for anyone.” The woman shrugged. “So, I can’t really teach you much. But, if you identify more words, I can definitely give you a few more pointers!”

“Fine…” A defeated sigh escapes my lips. So I’ll have to buy knowledge with knowledge, hmm? I look at Lucía for a second.

“Nope. I am too young to teach.” She immediately denies me.

“Tsk.” I look down… but then, an idea comes to me. Just a confirmation I need to get. “Can I check more stuff online? Maybe there’s resources out there…”

Pelafina frowns, looking at Lucía and waiting for her to explain. She eventually does, with a sigh.

“The process of getting on the internet as a mage is hard. You need a special router and everything, it’s honestly not worth it.” The guard shakes her head. “If you want, we can provide you one next time. But really, there aren’t many resources online for this… mages are isolationists, usually.”

Ah hah! So they don’t know of the forum! Alright then, that’s another point to my advantage.

“I don’t think I’ll need that, I have enough with mundane internet thank you very much.” I chuckle a little bit.

“I never got the so called ‘interwebs’ to be honest.” P grins. “Now, off to bed you go. Shoo, shoo. Remember coming back here at night, alright? That’s when it is nice and empty.”

Honestly, a nice and empty place to try and translate sounds fine to me. But I can just do that at home…

Besides. These people are dripfeeding me the information I need, so they are probably not trustworthy in the slightest.

I feel a little bad for not trusting Pelafina immediately, but…

“She threw you into this mess without consent.”

“Yeah, fuck her.”

Right.

“Alright then, I am going. Thank you again for everything, miss P!” I fail to hold back a yawn as I turn around and stand on the stairs. They… are still going up. “Uh.”

“The other stairs dear, there’s a magic escalator down.” Lucía tries not to laugh at my face, and fails.

“A-Ah, thank you.”

With a heavy sigh, I take the right escalator this time and disappear down the stairs. Looking at my clock, it’s already three in the morning…time to sleep for sure.

With some luck, the pillow will make this all make much more sense.


As Tav finally disappeared from the Elysium, and the sound of a closing door echoed through the room, Pelafina let out a little sigh, shaking her head.

“This isn’t going to work.” She commented, crossing her arms. “This girl is no good.”

“She seems smart enough. The type to keep notes….” Lucía suggested, her smile growing slowly.

“What are you suggesting?”

“Well. If we give her a few months and turns out she doesn’t make any breakthroughs, we can always… you know.”

“I don’t.”

“We can take her stuff.” Lucía finally said. “Just erase her memory and take the book and the notes back! With some luck, she probably took notes of the hints.”

“...Lucy, you’re diabolical.” The old crone chuckled loudly. “Ohhh, I guess we will get our chips back no matter how this gamble goes, then!”

“Of course! But I still don’t know why we can’t just go to a family of Mages and put this on their sleeper child!”

“That bitch Humiko probably thought of something like that.” A grumble escaped from the old lady. “This is our safest bet.”

“Well, I am just saying. If this experiment of yours doesn’t pay up, I may have to talk about this with the rest of the Coven…~” Lucía’s eyes were, for a moment, fully visible under that hood, brightly green. “And you know the captain wouldn’t like you skulking around with unapproved knowledge.~”

“Oh shush, you won’t.” Pelafina seemed quite confident of this. “Not after coming this close to finally finding that bitch…”

The overseer sighed, looking up to the fake stars for a moment while rubbing her hands together. What was this she felt? Anxiety?

“... It has to work, Lucía.” She finally said. “It has to.”

“What if it doesn’t though?” The guard tilted her head.

“It has to… it is our only way to free our King from his cell.”

“Welp, let’s hope this girl works fast!”

“I know. After all, King Hamil isn’t a patient man.”

Hi everybody.
I'm new to the diet and I just can't comprehend what's the situation with fat.
Some people say to eat a lot of it, then I see pics of people's meals and they're not drowning in fat, so how does it look in practice?
I'm really bad at undestanging procentages and weighed amounts, could anyone just explain it to me in some practical way? That I could understand it and know once and for all? Maybe some pics of your meals too? I just can't wrap my head around it.
Not knowing it makes it harder for me. I'm basically on meat, eggs and some semi hard cheeses (unfortunately have cheat days too), and I feel way better then before, but I wanna do it the right way.
When I add too much fat I've worse stomach issues and diarrhea (which I already have by default) and I feel sick. When I add some fat, it's all good but I've no idea what the proper amount should be and then I overthink and cheat and all goes to hell.
Thanks in advance for your help.

I didn't know how to describe this on google, but I am trying to put up the typical 41" Ikea Lack floating shelves in my apartment and I think I bought the wrong drywall anchors, but I wanted to make sure. I got these.
I am using anchors because I was able to find one stud and drill a screw into the center of that stud (for the center hole of the shelf bracket), but there are no studs close enough on either side to screw the other holes of the shelf bracket into a stud. Hope that makes sense.
Anyway I got it level, got these anchors in the wall (started a couple holes with my drill), got the bracket up and went to put the screws into the anchors, but they stop at a certain point, like this. It felt like if I kept drilling, the anchor would crack or something. Are the anchors too stubby for the screw? The screw can't stick out this far because the shelf won't be even close to flush with the bracket once it's done.
I also made sure the anchor was basically flush with the wall, maybe not perfect.
I'm new to this stuff so go easy on me! Thanks

A couple of weeks ago, I had a really stressful day - I was driving a long distance and I was trying to focus and be present, but was dissociating constantly and getting lost in my maladaptive thoughts and behaviours, all while feeling that deep ache chest feeling (if you know, you know) I was literally shaking while driving from the stress and anxiety.
I felt so so vulnerable and scared of my being, of my thoughts and maladaptive behaviours, especially the dissociation (one of the scariest symptoms to deal with).
When I got to my destination, I felt so raw and built up with anxiety and emotion, I felt I could cry at any point. But I couldn’t because I was staying with people and didn’t want to be vulnerable with them yet.
Then when I got to bed that night, I just allowed myself to cry (which is really hard for me to do) - there was a lot of conflict internally for me to cry, but the tears kept coming. I showed myself compassion and felt how scared I was, how scared of myself I am, how much shame there is for being me, for being ashamed of how I function and who I am. I started to do EFT tapping, repeating affirmations to myself, while tears were streaming (so dramatic lol 🙈)
After the cry sesh, I randomly started thinking of my mum, and how lonely and hurt she must be. I FELT it inside, where there’s usually that deep pain in my chest - it felt whole and warm and fuzzy and light, it wasn’t joyous or anything, it just felt whole and warm, connecting. I felt like I understood how my mum might have felt, I felt for her, not for me, but for her.
Ive been dabbling in IFS a little, tryna understand myself through parts etc - and in IFS you can feel and visualise parts sometimes. In this moment, I saw in my head this weird fuzzy, illuminated white thing, (looked a lil bit like lions mane fungus) at the same time as feeling it inside.
I’ve never experienced that before. I have to add, maybe TMI, but this all happened a day before my period started - so maybe it was a whole load of emotions and hormones that influenced this. But I find PMS makes me more sensitive and brings up a lot that I wouldn’t usually notice (repressed stuff, periods being it forward iykwim).
I haven’t experienced that since, and I was wondering how can I keep exercising this muscle? I didn’t know I had this inside of me, but maybe I do, or maybe I’m deluded, idk? How can I connect to that part again?
Also, that whole day I was feeling unbelievably anxious, I felt so vulnerable and scared - and it felt terrible, but it also felt kinda whole, in a way. The vulnerability I felt, almost felt whole, despite feeling like I was loosing my mind.

Actually he is my uncle but he has been the father figure since I was around 10. I'm 23 now.
So I did something (cooked some onion) and he commented about how "that's not how it's done". I thought it was (mistakenly so) so I said "it is done like this". He repeats himself and so do I two or three times, after which he was getting visibly angry. Just his face, he was actually containing it, which was apparent.
But this was enough to trigger me (if you wish to know why this was triggering there's a recent post about it on my profile, trigger warning for physical violence and humiliation). He started to leave after doing some explaining and when he was walking away I said smt like "you're already getting crazy!" (Which in our language sounds kinda worse but idk how to translate) Meaning the visible anger on his face that triggered me was overreacting to me just contradicting him. Supposedly, me just bluntly replying "yes it's done like this" is provocative.
Anyways after hearing that he comes back and gets in my face. He wasn't going to hit me, that's "in the past", but he feinted and I turned my head, expecting a hit. Somehow we ended up talking for like two hours, there were many points we both wanted to get across to the other and I doubt there was much mutual understanding , but what's relevant to this post is that he made it known that things would be "worse" if I ever spoke to him like that. That he would beat me if I called him an idiot.
He showed me how he has been containing himself all this time, and that even know after saying you're going crazy he didn't hit me. That's true.
He said he really hates being offended. He told me that one time when he asked a worker that was doing stuff in our house for something, the dude just turned his back to him and my dad screamed so loudly the dude was startled. Like did a little jump.
I'm like: you think that's good for your health? You've been containing your temper lately, you think it's good? Repressing it even further will only make it worse in the long run and you will stop being so effective at restraining yourself when you want to. He seems to think he knows a thing or two about psychology so he replied with condescension at my suggestion that he needs to fix the anger issues instead of just controlling himself when they arise. Whatever.
It sucks. What's even worse is that most lf the time he is normal. Like 999/1000 times. Our baseline is good terms right now. But my subconscious still remembers, I haven't unpacked all those things yet. I don't like knowing that my father would beat me up for offending him. I don't like not saying something to him (even if it is calling him stupid) only because of fear of physical responses.
I told him many things, like how it sucks fearing my own father and he said "don't provoque me then".I painted a hypothetical situation in which I called him an idiot to ask him what would happen if he didn't react in an aggressive/violent manner, he replied and finished with "but better never call me that". I was like "wouldn't you stop to think why would your son call you that? Why would anybody call their dad that way if everything was good? Or why I said you were getting crazy?" And whatever the fuck his reply was to that it probably boiled down to "you have no business saying those things". Sure, calling someone an idiot isn't good. Focus on that. .
My repressed emotions to his attitude all this years were there in the conversation. I kept stopping because the knot in my throat wouldn't let me talk, tears on my eyes. This didn't seem to communicate anything to him.
I wonder what I'll do when I get stronger than him. I'd be so tempted to start something just to show him he can't overpower me anymore. I wouldn't even hit him, just restrain him and faking a hit just so he sees what it feels like. Even then, I don't think it compares to an adult doing that to a kid or teenager. He has heart issues though, and as much as I wish for payback, I feel like his rage would be so much worse after being restrained that his heart could worsen (also I understand revenge makes no real sense, forgive them Father for they not what they do, if he could understand he would).
Anyway. We hadn't had an altercation like this in a while, and it's the first time I actually said something like that to him. He won't hit me if I don't insult him. But his intimidating nature is still present at times, for example when I don't listen to him and stubbornly oppose him (it happens sometimes but I only with him, surprised?) And knowing he can get like violent or just verbally aggressive doesn't make the "good times" worth it. He is a "good charismatic person" basically all the time except when these things happen. But I'm at odds with the fact that if I ever fail to contain my subconscious resentment to him and call him something (motherfucker, idiot, stupid high-iq but low-eq controlling dumbfuck) I'll get beat up. I understand that healing is on me to stop walking on eggshells when he is around, but I'm starting to dislike him on a more conscious level now. Which is confusing too because everytime I've brought this up to my mother, she seemed to understand part of how I was feeling, but ultimately it boiled down to "he's family and will catch a bullet for you, will always drop anything he is doing when we need help". WHICH IS TRUE BUT I DON'T CARE
AITAH for wanting to keep interactions with him at the bare minimum?
EDIT: I'd love to move out. I live with my mom, grandma and grandpa. He lives in the city and comes by 1/2/3 times a week, frequently spending the night or two. I still love them, and especially my mom and her parents, but being able to fuck off whenever I need to without resorting to going some place or park would be great. But I can't. I'd put an extremely tough burden on my mom, she'd have no live left: she works a lot, grandpa is getting very old but main thing is taking care of my grandma, there are some things like lifting her that only I can do because grandpa is too old and uncle can't due to some tendon issues on his arms. Besides the option to start earning a metric shitload of money to retire her and be able to afford 24/7 elderly care personnel, do you have any ideas about how to approach this?
EDIT: at some point he brought up the "how much love we gave you" situation. Now here is what disturbs me. It's true, I've been given tons of love, patience, opoortunities, the works, not only from the rest of the family but from him as well. So I imagine myself as a parent that loves their kid so much, and then I imagine myself intimidating him because he called me crazy, or hitting him because he didn't listen and did something different from what we had agreed on, behind my back, for the millionth time. It feels wrong, it feels ignorant. I'd be wondering why the fuck does my son agree to do a certain thing and when it comes time to it, he does a different one. I'd start thinking about why he keeps lying about school grades, failing to pass the year even when he sees how bad it stresses his mother out... Instead of hitting him in the face with a closed fist (but hey, it wasn't full force!!) because he keeps lying and driving his mom crazy.
But hey, that's me. I'm "not the one to teach him about psychology"

if i could have a few seconds of time it would be great.
my teacher used to have this child attached to her ribs at all times (not literally carrying but she would follow wherever she went) this girl is in grade 6 and oh my god. i get she was probably bullied and is scared, but she is so rude, condescending and tries to hang out with my group of friends who are all in high school (grade 9). that teacher recently left on short notice, and she (my teacher) told me “she’s my responsibility now.” first i was like “why?? why me??” but then i showed up to school this morning and i want to kms
okay, im here for me, my education, not to raise goddamn children and she won’t leave me alone, i can’t get a breath of air without a condescending comment, she’s annoying my friends, she’s annoying me, im just trying to get by with my education considering my entire school is falling apart (which is a separate problem) and i have a bunch of work - making my own notes, im practically teaching myself.
on the work front, she’s stopping me from getting my work done. i have a really, really important maths task for marks and she won’t even leave me alone when i ask for my space so i can think. i only have time to talk with my friends and get my work done during our grade 9 classes when she’s gone for her classes. exams are in a week, i can’t study, i can’t breathe, i can’t do anything. my teacher left yesterday (hence the short notice) and i don’t know how im going to get through to the end of the year😭😭😭
also, you might ask, why does she not have any friends her own age? well because she’s a bitch to literally EVERYBODY. she calls people slurs, she argues with my friends, she argues with the seniors, she argues with teachers, she argues with her own age group, she argues with EVERYBODY - im no exception. she’s so GODDAMN RUDE!!!😪
advice to tell her to go away without seeming like a complete bitch? keep in mind she’s like…11 or 12, i just don’t know how to intervene, i feel like i should bring this up to my head teacher and let her sort it out because it’s actually becoming a problem for me now. i’m literally going to see my ass with these exams if she doesn’t go away. it’s not even tests, MID-TERMS.
sorry for my rant by the way, i just have nobody else to talk with 😪

Hi, I just finished watching the series Ripley and I would like to share some opinions with you (there will be spoilers).
So, I really liked the series, at least until 2-3 episodes from the end. In the first half, I loved the style, the slow images, the black and white, the tension and suspense of a film noir, and the composition of the images in terms of objects and subjects. I liked that the series, for the first time or at least in rare cases, had actors speaking in English if they were American, otherwise all in Italian since it is set there, but with some devices where, for example, some Italians speak fluent English. In short, I was loving it, but by the last episode, I couldn't stand it much anymore and it saddens me because it's a series with style. I believe that some narrative problems already seen in the early episodes, as the episodes went on, grew considerably, leading to a rushed finale with many small lines opened and closed hastily and with several errors.
For example (I'm not going in order, but as they come to mind):
Marge: I just don't get her. She seems extremely in love with Dickie, but in the end, she starts flirting with Tom (completely unnecessary) and becomes stupid in her behavior. You'd expect her to have doubts (she was warned, she didn't get along with him) and to play a double game to understand who Tom was, but instead, she was genuinely infatuated with Tom and completely forgot about Dickie. I really don't understand this huge change in personality.
Dickie and Tom: Why did Dickie, if he wanted to get rid of Tom, take him alone in the middle of the sea on a boat 1500 km away? Did he want to get himself killed? You don't trust someone and you go together to an isolated place, without a reason?
The detective: He's a character I love, well-realized and wonderfully portrayed by the actor. Serious, intelligent, shrewd, and likable. Then he gets to the last episode and even he loses depth. An intelligent detective, who looks at details, who notices everything and makes appropriate conjectures and connections: he didn't want to personally verify Tom's passport, he never requested an investigation of his apartment (being a suspect) of Tom or Dickie, and on top of that, he goes all the way to Venice, sees Tom in person and doesn't question the fact that this man uses a wig, has the same voice as Tom and the same features as if he were his brother (light or no light, he shook his hand five centimeters from his face)? None of this makes sense. Moreover, he was looking for him so much, they gave him false leads, saying he was in Rome, he checked all the hotels, and when he meets him he doesn't solve the case by asking him in which hotel he had stayed after looking for him so much? Verify, don't find him, know he is lying. Instead, no. Then, why does he believe the boat story when the boat keeper had filed a report the same day? And what explanation does he give to a boat with blood and full of rocks that had been stolen?
Why does Tom buy six train tickets when he returns from Palermo?
The private detective arrives in grand style from America, already knows him, knows he is a scammer who changes identity, and when he talks to him believes everything Tom says, but what did he also get hit on the head?
In the last episode, all tension is lost, every scene that should make us jump out of our seats leads nowhere but to a dead end and a scene that is overcooked.
John Malkovich: Where did he come from? Casually in the last 20 minutes of the series, he goes to a dinner and he is also the stranger who always changes identity. What, two playmates found each other there by chance and without ever talking about it, they understand each other about what they do for a living?
In the entire series, no one ever saw a photo of Dickie? Even when they were on the table and at home?
The bank makes all that fuss from America for a false signature, then someone writes a letter and they believe it immediately.
Tom in the house in Venice introduces himself as Ripley, he has to stay there for at least six months and then disappears changing name and passport, how is that possible?
In Palermo, they recognized him after five minutes and no one remembers Dickie's face or in Venice no one recognizes him after months of newspapers talking about the case.
What is the time difference when Tom arrives in Venice (he already has a beard but it seems the day after) and when the detective receives the book?
The Camorra guy: He's there for two episodes, he's interesting, mysterious, and scary, and then he lets Tom walk all over him in three seconds and his only job in the series was to sell a boat? And the secret deliveries? And the art pieces?
Dickie's family: They come from America and for the English boy Miles, no one comes, this young man doesn't even interest his parents.
The night of the murder, Tom (I don't know how he transported a body standing up) drags it down the stairs, dirties everything, and then in four minutes cleans the entire staircase (or it was just slightly dirty after dragging a body by the head) with a single cloth. And the lady of the building believes they are mice? Mice as big as pigs? Also, excuse me, but here in Italy if someone makes all that noise on the stairs every three minutes, whether it's four in the afternoon, midnight, or three in the morning, you go there and look or call someone. He went back and forth (why didn't he take off his shoes for the noise of the heels?), elevator, doors, not even the lady of the building came out.
Moreover, the biggest of all: how long is the night of the murder and how does Tom go from the historic center of Rome to the Via Appia all those times back and forth if: the distance by car is about 30 minutes and on foot it is a good 1 hour and 30 minutes?
In short, I think this is a bit of everything that makes me frown and that, in my opinion, narratively creates a real imbalance and makes no sense. Moreover, the ending is really banal: wouldn't it have been better to catch him? Who really deserves a spin-off is the detective. Even the actor playing Ripley had no charisma, always the same expression, the same cadence in his voice, and that accent... for me, it could have been a 9 but it turned out to be a 6.

Actually he is my uncle but he has been the father figure since I was around 10. I'm 23 now.
So I did something (cooked some onion) and he commented about how "that's not how it's done". I thought it was (mistakenly so) so I said "it is done like this". He repeats himself and so do I two or three times, after which he was getting visibly angry. Just his face, he was actually containing it, which was apparent.
But this was enough to trigger me (if you wish to know why this was triggering there's a recent post about it on my profile, trigger warning for physical violence and humiliation). He started to leave after doing some explaining and when he was walking away I said smt like "you're already getting crazy!" (Which in our language sounds kinda worse but idk how to translate) Meaning the visible anger on his face that triggered me was overreacting to me just contradicting him. Supposedly, me just bluntly replying "yes it's done like this" is provocative.
Anyways after hearing that he comes back and gets in my face. He wasn't going to hit me, that's "in the past", but he feinted and I turned my head, expecting a hit. Somehow we ended up talking for like two hours, there were many points we both wanted to get across to the other and I doubt there was much mutual understanding , but what's relevant to this post is that he made it known that things would be "worse" if I ever spoke to him like that. That he would beat me if I called him an idiot.
He showed me how he has been containing himself all this time, and that even know after saying you're going crazy he didn't hit me. That's true.
He said he really hates being offended. He told me that one time when he asked a worker that was doing stuff in our house for something, the dude just turned his back to him and my dad screamed so loudly the dude was startled. Like did a little jump.
I'm like: you think that's good for your health? You've been containing your temper lately, you think it's good? Repressing it even further will only make it worse in the long run and you will stop being so effective at restraining yourself when you want to. He seems to think he knows a thing or two about psychology so he replied with condescension at my suggestion that he needs to fix the anger issues instead of just controlling himself when they arise. Whatever.
It sucks. What's even worse is that most lf the time he is normal. Like 999/1000 times. Our baseline is good terms right now. But my subconscious still remembers, I haven't unpacked all those things yet. I don't like knowing that my father would beat me up for offending him. I don't like not saying something to him (even if it is calling him stupid) only because of fear of physical responses.
I told him many things, like how it sucks fearing my own father and he said "don't provoque me then".I painted a hypothetical situation in which I called him an idiot to ask him what would happen if he didn't react in an aggressive/violent manner, he replied and finished with "but better never call me that". I was like "wouldn't you stop to think why would your son call you that? Why would anybody call their dad that way if everything was good? Or why I said you were getting crazy?" And whatever the fuck his reply was to that it probably boiled down to "you have no business saying those things". Sure, calling someone an idiot isn't good. Focus on that. .
My repressed emotions to his attitude all this years were there in the conversation. I kept stopping because the knot in my throat wouldn't let me talk, tears on my eyes. This didn't seem to communicate anything to him.
I wonder what I'll do when I get stronger than him. I'd be so tempted to start something just to show him he can't overpower me anymore. I wouldn't even hit him, just restrain him and faking a hit just so he sees what it feels like. Even then, I don't think it compares to an adult doing that to a kid or teenager. He has heart issues though, and as much as I wish for payback, I feel like his rage would be so much worse after being restrained that his heart could worsen (also I understand revenge makes no real sense, forgive them Father for they not what they do, if he could understand he would).
Anyway. We hadn't had an altercation like this in a while, and it's the first time I actually said something like that to him. He won't hit me if I don't insult him. But his intimidating nature is still present at times, for example when I don't listen to him and stubbornly oppose him (it happens sometimes but I only with him, surprised?) And knowing he can get like violent or just verbally aggressive doesn't make the "good times" worth it. He is a "good charismatic person" basically all the time except when these things happen. But I'm at odds with the fact that if I ever fail to contain my subconscious resentment to him and call him something (motherfucker, idiot, stupid high-iq but low-eq controlling dumbfuck) I'll get beat up. I understand that healing is on me to stop walking on eggshells when he is around, but I'm starting to dislike him on a more conscious level now. Which is confusing too because everytime I've brought this up to my mother, she seemed to understand part of how I was feeling, but ultimately it boiled down to "he's family and will catch a bullet for you, will always drop anything he is doing when we need help". WHICH IS TRUE BUT I DON'T CARE
AITAH for wanting to keep interactions with him at the bare minimum?
EDIT: I'd love to move out. I live with my mom, grandma and grandpa. He lives in the city and comes by 1/2/3 times a week, frequently spending the night or two. I still love them, and especially my mom and her parents, but being able to fuck off whenever I need to without resorting to going some place or park would be great. But I can't. I'd put an extremely tough burden on my mom, she'd have no live left: she works a lot, grandpa is getting very old but main thing is taking care of my grandma, there are some things like lifting her that only I can do because grandpa is too old and uncle can't due to some tendon issues on his arms. Besides the option to start earning a metric shitload of money to retire her and be able to afford 24/7 elderly care personnel, do you have any ideas about how to approach this?
EDIT: at some point he brought up the "how much love we gave you" situation. Now here is what disturbs me. It's true, I've been given tons of love, patience, opoortunities, the works, not only from the rest of the family but from him as well. So I imagine myself as a parent that loves their kid so much, and then I imagine myself intimidating him because he called me crazy, or hitting him because he didn't listen and did something different from what we had agreed on, behind my back, for the millionth time. It feels wrong, it feels ignorant. I'd be wondering why the fuck does my son agree to do a certain thing and when it comes time to it, he does a different one. I'd start thinking about why he keeps lying about school grades, failing to pass the year even when he sees how bad it stresses his mother out... Instead of hitting him in the face with a closed fist (but hey, it wasn't full force!!) because he keeps lying and driving his mom crazy.
But hey, that's me. I'm "not the one to teach him about psychology"

Hi, I just finished watching the series Ripley and I would like to share some opinions with you (there will be spoilers).
So, I really liked the series, at least until 2-3 episodes from the end. In the first half, I loved the style, the slow images, the black and white, the tension and suspense of a film noir, and the composition of the images in terms of objects and subjects. I liked that the series, for the first time or at least in rare cases, had actors speaking in English if they were American, otherwise all in Italian since it is set there, but with some devices where, for example, some Italians speak fluent English. In short, I was loving it, but by the last episode, I couldn't stand it much anymore and it saddens me because it's a series with style. I believe that some narrative problems already seen in the early episodes, as the episodes went on, grew considerably, leading to a rushed finale with many small lines opened and closed hastily and with several errors.
For example (I'm not going in order, but as they come to mind):
Marge: I just don't get her. She seems extremely in love with Dickie, but in the end, she starts flirting with Tom (completely unnecessary) and becomes stupid in her behavior. You'd expect her to have doubts (she was warned, she didn't get along with him) and to play a double game to understand who Tom was, but instead, she was genuinely infatuated with Tom and completely forgot about Dickie. I really don't understand this huge change in personality.
Dickie and Tom: Why did Dickie, if he wanted to get rid of Tom, take him alone in the middle of the sea on a boat 1500 km away? Did he want to get himself killed? You don't trust someone and you go together to an isolated place, without a reason?
The detective: He's a character I love, well-realized and wonderfully portrayed by the actor. Serious, intelligent, shrewd, and likable. Then he gets to the last episode and even he loses depth. An intelligent detective, who looks at details, who notices everything and makes appropriate conjectures and connections: he didn't want to personally verify Tom's passport, he never requested an investigation of his apartment (being a suspect) of Tom or Dickie, and on top of that, he goes all the way to Venice, sees Tom in person and doesn't question the fact that this man uses a wig, has the same voice as Tom and the same features as if he were his brother (light or no light, he shook his hand five centimeters from his face)? None of this makes sense. Moreover, he was looking for him so much, they gave him false leads, saying he was in Rome, he checked all the hotels, and when he meets him he doesn't solve the case by asking him in which hotel he had stayed after looking for him so much? Verify, don't find him, know he is lying. Instead, no. Then, why does he believe the boat story when the boat keeper had filed a report the same day? And what explanation does he give to a boat with blood and full of rocks that had been stolen?
Why does Tom buy six train tickets when he returns from Palermo?
The private detective arrives in grand style from America, already knows him, knows he is a scammer who changes identity, and when he talks to him believes everything Tom says, but what did he also get hit on the head?
In the last episode, all tension is lost, every scene that should make us jump out of our seats leads nowhere but to a dead end and a scene that is overcooked.
John Malkovich: Where did he come from? Casually in the last 20 minutes of the series, he goes to a dinner and he is also the stranger who always changes identity. What, two playmates found each other there by chance and without ever talking about it, they understand each other about what they do for a living?
In the entire series, no one ever saw a photo of Dickie? Even when they were on the table and at home?
The bank makes all that fuss from America for a false signature, then someone writes a letter and they believe it immediately.
Tom in the house in Venice introduces himself as Ripley, he has to stay there for at least six months and then disappears changing name and passport, how is that possible?
In Palermo, they recognized him after five minutes and no one remembers Dickie's face or in Venice no one recognizes him after months of newspapers talking about the case.
What is the time difference when Tom arrives in Venice (he already has a beard but it seems the day after) and when the detective receives the book?
The Camorra guy: He's there for two episodes, he's interesting, mysterious, and scary, and then he lets Tom walk all over him in three seconds and his only job in the series was to sell a boat? And the secret deliveries? And the art pieces?
Dickie's family: They come from America and for the English boy Miles, no one comes, this young man doesn't even interest his parents.
The night of the murder, Tom (I don't know how he transported a body standing up) drags it down the stairs, dirties everything, and then in four minutes cleans the entire staircase (or it was just slightly dirty after dragging a body by the head) with a single cloth. And the lady of the building believes they are mice? Mice as big as pigs? Also, excuse me, but here in Italy if someone makes all that noise on the stairs every three minutes, whether it's four in the afternoon, midnight, or three in the morning, you go there and look or call someone. He went back and forth (why didn't he take off his shoes for the noise of the heels?), elevator, doors, not even the lady of the building came out.
Moreover, the biggest of all: how long is the night of the murder and how does Tom go from the historic center of Rome to the Via Appia all those times back and forth if: the distance by car is about 30 minutes and on foot it is a good 1 hour and 30 minutes?
In short, I think this is a bit of everything that makes me frown and that, in my opinion, narratively creates a real imbalance and makes no sense. Moreover, the ending is really banal: wouldn't it have been better to catch him? Who really deserves a spin-off is the detective. Even the actor playing Ripley had no charisma, always the same expression, the same cadence in his voice, and that accent... for me, it could have been a 9 but it turned out to be a 6.

Many spoilers. Obviously.
While watching the movie I could not stop thinking about about my two favorite shows Twin Peaks and Buffy the Vampire Slayer and how much they influenced the structure of the film. Not just in cultural references but in the very concept of the universe the characters inhabit.
The key concept that kept coming up for me was the pocket universe concept and how much that is the basis of the Midnight Realm. When someone asked why Owen seemed like he was 89 even though, if you did the math, he was likely in his 40s, I was taken back to the third season premier of Buffy. In it Buffy, escaping her friends, family and obligations, flees to another town and takes on the identity of Anne. While working at a dinner she uncovers a mystery of young people suddenly disappearing, then returning a few days later but in their old age and dying.
What she discovers is demons capturing them and taking them to another dimension to work at a factory as slaves. In that dimension time moves very differently, so while they are gone for only a few days in our world, they age decades in the factory universe. Just like time moves in the Midnight realm. In fact middle aged Owen looks quite like one of these former teenagers dying of old age in the makeup.
The idea of time moving differently comes up again in season three two episodes later in Faith, Hope and Trick when Angel returns from a hell dimension as a feral creature with little memory of his past. Buffy learns that while he was only gone for a few episodes in her world, he’d been tortured for centuries in the hell dimension of Acathla.
These pocket universes in Buffy also appear in the underlying mythology of the Black Lodge in Twin Peaks. The black lodge (the place with red curtain and wavy tiles) is another dimension where agent cooper gets trapped at the end of the show and remains trapped in The Return before coming back as Douggie. In the real world his form is a vessel for BOB.
In both of these fictional worlds there is a real world and side dimensions of it. I saw the TV Glow turns this on its head by positing that the world you think is real, the boring suburbia, is actually the Midnight Realm, and the Pink Opaque is reality. The Midnight Realm was a pain created by Mr Melancholy to trap the characters and make them forget who they really are.
Clues of this abound. The most visually striking is the presence of TV static throughout the Midnight Realm. From the reflection of staticky fire above the campfire Owen sets or the glowing static above him when he sleeps over Mattie’s. Also, when Mattie returns, likely through the downed power line, the gap in the road is filled with static. The most obvious being when he watched the season 5 finale and tries to escape back into the real world by thrusting his head into the TV then, when his father pulls him out, saying You’re not my dad and this isn’t my house. Finally, the very end when he opens up his chest, we see TV static.
This is what Mattie tried to explain to him, quite plainly, but the film essential becomes him wrestling with his denial that he’s in the Midnight Realm, and is dying there while his real self and body are buried underground, heartless, in the pink Opaque. As it becomes more and more obvious the world he inhabits isn’t real, maintaining his denial causes more and more psychic stress until he eventually breakdown at a children’s party.
This real world/pocket world also forms the basis of the trans allegory at the heart of the film. In the Midnight Realm he isn’t in the body that is his actual body, which reflects his true self. His father, like a Midnight Realm policeman tries to keep him in denial so he doesn’t realize he’s in the wrong body in the wrong world, by discouraging him from watching the show through menacing gender policing to literally pulling him out of the TV show world. It’s a pretty power metaphor to say that, as unbelievable as it might seem, your true reality is the world resembling the Buffyverse, that you need to bury yourself alive to return.

Hi, I just finished watching the series Ripley and I would like to share some opinions with you (there will be spoilers).
So, I really liked the series, at least until 2-3 episodes from the end. In the first half, I loved the style, the slow images, the black and white, the tension and suspense of a film noir, and the composition of the images in terms of objects and subjects. I liked that the series, for the first time or at least in rare cases, had actors speaking in English if they were American, otherwise all in Italian since it is set there, but with some devices where, for example, some Italians speak fluent English. In short, I was loving it, but by the last episode, I couldn't stand it much anymore and it saddens me because it's a series with style. I believe that some narrative problems already seen in the early episodes, as the episodes went on, grew considerably, leading to a rushed finale with many small lines opened and closed hastily and with several errors.
For example (I'm not going in order, but as they come to mind):
Marge: I just don't get her. She seems extremely in love with Dickie, but in the end, she starts flirting with Tom (completely unnecessary) and becomes stupid in her behavior. You'd expect her to have doubts (she was warned, she didn't get along with him) and to play a double game to understand who Tom was, but instead, she was genuinely infatuated with Tom and completely forgot about Dickie. I really don't understand this huge change in personality.
Dickie and Tom: Why did Dickie, if he wanted to get rid of Tom, take him alone in the middle of the sea on a boat 1500 km away? Did he want to get himself killed? You don't trust someone and you go together to an isolated place, without a reason?
The detective: He's a character I love, well-realized and wonderfully portrayed by the actor. Serious, intelligent, shrewd, and likable. Then he gets to the last episode and even he loses depth. An intelligent detective, who looks at details, who notices everything and makes appropriate conjectures and connections: he didn't want to personally verify Tom's passport, he never requested an investigation of his apartment (being a suspect) of Tom or Dickie, and on top of that, he goes all the way to Venice, sees Tom in person and doesn't question the fact that this man uses a wig, has the same voice as Tom and the same features as if he were his brother (light or no light, he shook his hand five centimeters from his face)? None of this makes sense. Moreover, he was looking for him so much, they gave him false leads, saying he was in Rome, he checked all the hotels, and when he meets him he doesn't solve the case by asking him in which hotel he had stayed after looking for him so much? Verify, don't find him, know he is lying. Instead, no. Then, why does he believe the boat story when the boat keeper had filed a report the same day? And what explanation does he give to a boat with blood and full of rocks that had been stolen?
Why does Tom buy six train tickets when he returns from Palermo?
The private detective arrives in grand style from America, already knows him, knows he is a scammer who changes identity, and when he talks to him believes everything Tom says, but what did he also get hit on the head?
In the last episode, all tension is lost, every scene that should make us jump out of our seats leads nowhere but to a dead end and a scene that is overcooked.
John Malkovich: Where did he come from? Casually in the last 20 minutes of the series, he goes to a dinner and he is also the stranger who always changes identity. What, two playmates found each other there by chance and without ever talking about it, they understand each other about what they do for a living?
In the entire series, no one ever saw a photo of Dickie? Even when they were on the table and at home?
The bank makes all that fuss from America for a false signature, then someone writes a letter and they believe it immediately.
Tom in the house in Venice introduces himself as Ripley, he has to stay there for at least six months and then disappears changing name and passport, how is that possible?
In Palermo, they recognized him after five minutes and no one remembers Dickie's face or in Venice no one recognizes him after months of newspapers talking about the case.
What is the time difference when Tom arrives in Venice (he already has a beard but it seems the day after) and when the detective receives the book?
The Camorra guy: He's there for two episodes, he's interesting, mysterious, and scary, and then he lets Tom walk all over him in three seconds and his only job in the series was to sell a boat? And the secret deliveries? And the art pieces?
Dickie's family: They come from America and for the English boy Miles, no one comes, this young man doesn't even interest his parents.
The night of the murder, Tom (I don't know how he transported a body standing up) drags it down the stairs, dirties everything, and then in four minutes cleans the entire staircase (or it was just slightly dirty after dragging a body by the head) with a single cloth. And the lady of the building believes they are mice? Mice as big as pigs? Also, excuse me, but here in Italy if someone makes all that noise on the stairs every three minutes, whether it's four in the afternoon, midnight, or three in the morning, you go there and look or call someone. He went back and forth (why didn't he take off his shoes for the noise of the heels?), elevator, doors, not even the lady of the building came out.
Moreover, the biggest of all: how long is the night of the murder and how does Tom go from the historic center of Rome to the Via Appia all those times back and forth if: the distance by car is about 30 minutes and on foot it is a good 1 hour and 30 minutes?
In short, I think this is a bit of everything that makes me frown and that, in my opinion, narratively creates a real imbalance and makes no sense. Moreover, the ending is really banal: wouldn't it have been better to catch him? Who really deserves a spin-off is the detective. Even the actor playing Ripley had no charisma, always the same expression, the same cadence in his voice, and that accent... for me, it could have been a 9 but it turned out to be a 6.