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2024.05.17 11:22 enduring_lonely_soul 29M left toxic family where brother beat my father and my parents later defended him
Hi, I know this is mostly for couple relationships. But I don't know where else to post this. I can't post in aith as mostly foreigners are there
I'm 29M. I have some trouble in my family would be a major understatement. The situation is so worse that I can't explain to anyone in my real life. Situation became so dire, I left my house and staying away and my parents calling me failure and abandoner. Its a toxic household. My brother hits my parents and I end up leaving the house while my parents defend him.
3 weeks back my brother hit my father, my father started crying profusely and started to scream and saying he'll call police. I asked my brother to leave. He does but comes back and starts acting lunatically, saying he's ready to go to Jail and loose his job but he'll expose my father for what he is. They had an argument coz he's not marrying and he has a girlfriend from work living not less 200 m away in a separate society. Which has come to our house and met my parents as well. My father had a agreement with him to get married by March this year. But such a manipulator and liar he is that was another one of his delaying tactics. Or maybe he said one two many lies and this caught up to him. When my father out of anger said to him to leave the house, he shamelessly said he won't he also contributed to it. The reason behind his fearlessness was my mother as she supported it. She actually supported him hitting him and later tried to justified by saying it was a minor hit and it didn't break his bone or something.
My brother has a history, he broke my mother's hand when I was in school and he was in college first year. He wanted to stay in hostel and my parents didn't let him. I come back from tuition and witness that. Looking back at it, this fueled his shamelessness and fearlessness as all the relatives knew this and it didn't bother him later on.
My family quite disfunctional since very beginning. We have lived in major cities for most part, my father was working in government service and got transferred a lot. My elder brother (4 years elder) and I work both in metro city and lived with my family here. Father retired last year. Mother a housewife.
Now here's the issue part. My father has been a wifebeater and sole earner. Him and my mother had issues since beginning. And they generally didn't have any understanding is what I saw. Trust was less as well. Mother used to bitch about him which my elder brother took quite well and to certain extent me too, but I started to see through it few times and ramblings of a frustrated woman as my father used to like being reveled by relatives so she feared him being more involved there.
One other side of this also the relationship of my mother and elder brother, they both grew some sort of symbiotic relationship where they each were masking each other's shortcomings by excuses and became each other's support system.
So that was in past then as we grew up our father also matured a bit in past few years but not a lot.
Now, so far it seems like every other family's trouble. Here's the main issue, I started observing certain things since past few years which made me really irked and start to distrust my family.
I don't trust my elder brother since few years 6-7 to be precise. And he has a history of beating me as well. Something in him makes me tick. Like he's trying to treat us like he treats outsiders, for profit of his own. I don't consider him my elder brother either. While my parents always try to shame me by saying I hit him as he is my elder brother, while they themselves flaunt society's rules as they like.
Last few years, I saw some issues with myself and loneliness, one time parents asked me and my brother to come to my father's posted place as he was getting retired and help shift. When I reached I'm told they have planned(my brother and them) a trip and invited me. I hadn't taken any leaves and this was extreme short notice so I couldn't get leaves. They just thought it would be very easy for me to get it. Like I was really pissed. I stayed there alone for 1 week while taking care of their stuff.
When they came back I broke down, and cried and told about my struggles with depression, my mother at that time cried. I suggested them to start searching for a bride for me. Before all this, some stuff was already happening with regards to my brother's marriage since that past year and I wasn't on speaking terms with my brother. But I saw them berating him by saying if he doesn't get married, it will be issue for me. So I tried to calm them separately by telling them to start searching for me if he's not cooperating. Mind you I was settled financially and of age, only thing stopping them was my brother was unmarried then. I thought I had managed to make a breakthrough, and could get some support with my issues but no.
My brother had a girlfriend whom I had met and had visited my house met my parents. She ditched him for reasons only he knows and from then onwards I only saw his hippocrit facade like the way he manipulated lied to my parents about meeting with prospects and finding excuses to not get married. He wasn't interested, just kept delaying and this kept frustrating my parents. He also blamed his failed relationship on my father as he said something angrily along the lines of him hitting his girlfriend when he was angry as he witnessed his father do that all his life.
This caused fights too, sometime I got involved as well. Like he threw food plate at my mother and I intervened. I had to say some harsh stuff and fight ensued. Physical too. This has been an recurring phenomenon.
My parents are no saint either. My father last year beat my mother at age of 60 no less. Like I said very disfunctional family.
After my heart to heart with my parents, they completely forgot about it. They say they didn't but they did. They never mentioned one girl, didn't even make JS/Shaadi profile for me. Look the issue is not that marriage was biggest priority for me. But that it wasn't even a priority for them when I specifically said about it.
Now another tragedy happened. I got laid off. I didn't utter a word. Then in between 6 months later from that talk they stuck me with the most shameless question ever asked by them. They tell me they had it enough with my brother's bullshit and wanted to search for me. I was almost about to lose it. But at that point I was at very low coz of my job situation and was seriously doubting my luck. Still am. Been doubting since Covid. I made up some excuse to make them lose interest in it.
Then some months later in another fight I brought it up and gave them an earful.
During all this I tried leaving my house twice for good. One time I actually rented a place. One time I gave an ultimatum that he leaves or I leave but my parents somehow convinced me to stay. Toxicity was through the roof. Parents fighting often, quite on the edge of physicality, my mother doesn't hold bapck a bit if we are around. My father is I feel is semi bipolar always on ego trip. And my brother a lying manipulator angling for his gains.
This time I couldn't hold back and decided to leavd I won't come back at all. I offered to take my father too. I declared my mother's case hopeless as the way she behaved after my brother hit my father and proudly berated him shamelessly like she felt someone took revenge of all those years of beatings and shame she got. While I held my head in shame by looking at what was unfolding. I couldn't hold back and abused them for their behavior. These shameless people started coming at me.
I was irked at the fact that my brother had his girlfriend living in the neighborhood and she used to come and visit and my folks weren't least bit bothered as they thought these guys were getting married. When in fact my folks had not even talked with her parents. Only with her elder sister who was doing a love marriage inter caste after threatening to take poison. So my mother was like believe in love an all that crap and talk about social and family values too. I am not conservative I met his first girlfriend before anyone else in family. But this was too much, if you are such big into love and family values and keeping appearance in society then marry and end it. Apparently the girl wanted to marry only after elder sister marries, so society rules exist for her but not for my family.
All this combined I stated my discomfort shared an ultimatum that he should leave and stay separately till his matter is resolved. My mother and brother came at me. They called me failure and said I was jealous of him cause of my failures to secure a person in my life. So I realised my mother was with him
I know this is too much but coz of this I left and this time I thought I was leaving with my father's blessings, but I was wrong that was just momentary coz of his anger after getting beaten by my brother.
I have been living away now for few weeks just few km away. So that I can go back if required but now the tune of my parents have changed completely. They are calling me deserter coz I left house. How can I live in that toxic family household ? And a lot of other things, as I can't help but scream at their shamelessness.
I wish old age days come back coz then you could call few relatives to sort things out. Or atleast discuss who's wrong, here they justify their doings as everyone is doing it in society, everyone fights, everyone's a little shameless so its fine. While I can't just become ostrich and deal with things when it strictly affects me. My brother's actions deeply affected me. I was depressed and had to deal with it alone, coz my parents were too busy with his bullshit and then I saw their real self. Lots of stuff I haven't mentioned here. Like how my own father defended him getting beaten as his own fruits of his deeds to defend my brother. That broke the straw for me and made me realise he was the favorite son for both of them. No amount of his shameful deeds can change it. And they will bend backwards to justify it.
Worst part is which I can't shake off, I called them selfish, shameless, mental and stupid fools who got cheated by their own son. They are equating it with my brother's beatings. Saying I'm equally as deplorable as him, as its equal as beating. In which world ?
Am I the asshole ? Should I continue on my path. Discussions and talks with my parents result in screamings as I need a neutral party as they changed the rules of civil society to fit their narrative as society has changed so its fine as everyone does it. I told them if they can find even one person their age group who thinks I'm wrong I'll come back and apologise. They told me they have no interest in getting laughed at and this happens everywhere. And I am equally guilty for abusing them. I can't take it any more. Is staying in family means becoming like then ? Is that the rule ?
My family is saying to come back and stay there and my brother will leave after getting married, saying I'm equally guilty in this as I also said harsh stuff. How is happening in this shitty world ?
TLDR: Left toxic family where brother hits father. Has history of hitting me and mother too. Parents fight too physically and defend him and his actions. And asking me to stay in that environment.
submitted by enduring_lonely_soul to RelationshipIndia [link] [comments]
I'm 29M. I have some trouble in my family would be a major understatement. The situation is so worse that I can't explain to anyone in my real life. Situation became so dire, I left my house and staying away and my parents calling me failure and abandoner. Its a toxic household. My brother hits my parents and I end up leaving the house while my parents defend him.
3 weeks back my brother hit my father, my father started crying profusely and started to scream and saying he'll call police. I asked my brother to leave. He does but comes back and starts acting lunatically, saying he's ready to go to Jail and loose his job but he'll expose my father for what he is. They had an argument coz he's not marrying and he has a girlfriend from work living not less 200 m away in a separate society. Which has come to our house and met my parents as well. My father had a agreement with him to get married by March this year. But such a manipulator and liar he is that was another one of his delaying tactics. Or maybe he said one two many lies and this caught up to him. When my father out of anger said to him to leave the house, he shamelessly said he won't he also contributed to it. The reason behind his fearlessness was my mother as she supported it. She actually supported him hitting him and later tried to justified by saying it was a minor hit and it didn't break his bone or something.
My brother has a history, he broke my mother's hand when I was in school and he was in college first year. He wanted to stay in hostel and my parents didn't let him. I come back from tuition and witness that. Looking back at it, this fueled his shamelessness and fearlessness as all the relatives knew this and it didn't bother him later on.
My family quite disfunctional since very beginning. We have lived in major cities for most part, my father was working in government service and got transferred a lot. My elder brother (4 years elder) and I work both in metro city and lived with my family here. Father retired last year. Mother a housewife.
Now here's the issue part. My father has been a wifebeater and sole earner. Him and my mother had issues since beginning. And they generally didn't have any understanding is what I saw. Trust was less as well. Mother used to bitch about him which my elder brother took quite well and to certain extent me too, but I started to see through it few times and ramblings of a frustrated woman as my father used to like being reveled by relatives so she feared him being more involved there.
One other side of this also the relationship of my mother and elder brother, they both grew some sort of symbiotic relationship where they each were masking each other's shortcomings by excuses and became each other's support system.
So that was in past then as we grew up our father also matured a bit in past few years but not a lot.
Now, so far it seems like every other family's trouble. Here's the main issue, I started observing certain things since past few years which made me really irked and start to distrust my family.
I don't trust my elder brother since few years 6-7 to be precise. And he has a history of beating me as well. Something in him makes me tick. Like he's trying to treat us like he treats outsiders, for profit of his own. I don't consider him my elder brother either. While my parents always try to shame me by saying I hit him as he is my elder brother, while they themselves flaunt society's rules as they like.
Last few years, I saw some issues with myself and loneliness, one time parents asked me and my brother to come to my father's posted place as he was getting retired and help shift. When I reached I'm told they have planned(my brother and them) a trip and invited me. I hadn't taken any leaves and this was extreme short notice so I couldn't get leaves. They just thought it would be very easy for me to get it. Like I was really pissed. I stayed there alone for 1 week while taking care of their stuff.
When they came back I broke down, and cried and told about my struggles with depression, my mother at that time cried. I suggested them to start searching for a bride for me. Before all this, some stuff was already happening with regards to my brother's marriage since that past year and I wasn't on speaking terms with my brother. But I saw them berating him by saying if he doesn't get married, it will be issue for me. So I tried to calm them separately by telling them to start searching for me if he's not cooperating. Mind you I was settled financially and of age, only thing stopping them was my brother was unmarried then. I thought I had managed to make a breakthrough, and could get some support with my issues but no.
My brother had a girlfriend whom I had met and had visited my house met my parents. She ditched him for reasons only he knows and from then onwards I only saw his hippocrit facade like the way he manipulated lied to my parents about meeting with prospects and finding excuses to not get married. He wasn't interested, just kept delaying and this kept frustrating my parents. He also blamed his failed relationship on my father as he said something angrily along the lines of him hitting his girlfriend when he was angry as he witnessed his father do that all his life.
This caused fights too, sometime I got involved as well. Like he threw food plate at my mother and I intervened. I had to say some harsh stuff and fight ensued. Physical too. This has been an recurring phenomenon.
My parents are no saint either. My father last year beat my mother at age of 60 no less. Like I said very disfunctional family.
After my heart to heart with my parents, they completely forgot about it. They say they didn't but they did. They never mentioned one girl, didn't even make JS/Shaadi profile for me. Look the issue is not that marriage was biggest priority for me. But that it wasn't even a priority for them when I specifically said about it.
Now another tragedy happened. I got laid off. I didn't utter a word. Then in between 6 months later from that talk they stuck me with the most shameless question ever asked by them. They tell me they had it enough with my brother's bullshit and wanted to search for me. I was almost about to lose it. But at that point I was at very low coz of my job situation and was seriously doubting my luck. Still am. Been doubting since Covid. I made up some excuse to make them lose interest in it.
Then some months later in another fight I brought it up and gave them an earful.
During all this I tried leaving my house twice for good. One time I actually rented a place. One time I gave an ultimatum that he leaves or I leave but my parents somehow convinced me to stay. Toxicity was through the roof. Parents fighting often, quite on the edge of physicality, my mother doesn't hold bapck a bit if we are around. My father is I feel is semi bipolar always on ego trip. And my brother a lying manipulator angling for his gains.
This time I couldn't hold back and decided to leavd I won't come back at all. I offered to take my father too. I declared my mother's case hopeless as the way she behaved after my brother hit my father and proudly berated him shamelessly like she felt someone took revenge of all those years of beatings and shame she got. While I held my head in shame by looking at what was unfolding. I couldn't hold back and abused them for their behavior. These shameless people started coming at me.
I was irked at the fact that my brother had his girlfriend living in the neighborhood and she used to come and visit and my folks weren't least bit bothered as they thought these guys were getting married. When in fact my folks had not even talked with her parents. Only with her elder sister who was doing a love marriage inter caste after threatening to take poison. So my mother was like believe in love an all that crap and talk about social and family values too. I am not conservative I met his first girlfriend before anyone else in family. But this was too much, if you are such big into love and family values and keeping appearance in society then marry and end it. Apparently the girl wanted to marry only after elder sister marries, so society rules exist for her but not for my family.
All this combined I stated my discomfort shared an ultimatum that he should leave and stay separately till his matter is resolved. My mother and brother came at me. They called me failure and said I was jealous of him cause of my failures to secure a person in my life. So I realised my mother was with him
I know this is too much but coz of this I left and this time I thought I was leaving with my father's blessings, but I was wrong that was just momentary coz of his anger after getting beaten by my brother.
I have been living away now for few weeks just few km away. So that I can go back if required but now the tune of my parents have changed completely. They are calling me deserter coz I left house. How can I live in that toxic family household ? And a lot of other things, as I can't help but scream at their shamelessness.
I wish old age days come back coz then you could call few relatives to sort things out. Or atleast discuss who's wrong, here they justify their doings as everyone is doing it in society, everyone fights, everyone's a little shameless so its fine. While I can't just become ostrich and deal with things when it strictly affects me. My brother's actions deeply affected me. I was depressed and had to deal with it alone, coz my parents were too busy with his bullshit and then I saw their real self. Lots of stuff I haven't mentioned here. Like how my own father defended him getting beaten as his own fruits of his deeds to defend my brother. That broke the straw for me and made me realise he was the favorite son for both of them. No amount of his shameful deeds can change it. And they will bend backwards to justify it.
Worst part is which I can't shake off, I called them selfish, shameless, mental and stupid fools who got cheated by their own son. They are equating it with my brother's beatings. Saying I'm equally as deplorable as him, as its equal as beating. In which world ?
Am I the asshole ? Should I continue on my path. Discussions and talks with my parents result in screamings as I need a neutral party as they changed the rules of civil society to fit their narrative as society has changed so its fine as everyone does it. I told them if they can find even one person their age group who thinks I'm wrong I'll come back and apologise. They told me they have no interest in getting laughed at and this happens everywhere. And I am equally guilty for abusing them. I can't take it any more. Is staying in family means becoming like then ? Is that the rule ?
My family is saying to come back and stay there and my brother will leave after getting married, saying I'm equally guilty in this as I also said harsh stuff. How is happening in this shitty world ?
TLDR: Left toxic family where brother hits father. Has history of hitting me and mother too. Parents fight too physically and defend him and his actions. And asking me to stay in that environment.
2024.05.17 11:22 Jealous-Rice1293 Pernat: "For Bastianini Pramac is an option, but we are talking to Aprilia"
Link: https://www.gpone.com/it/2024/05/17/motogp/pernat-per-bastianini-pramac-e-unopzione-ma-parliamo-con-aprilia.html
"Marquez has broken the balance, I don't think he will go to KTM. After Ducati's decision the market will accelerate, the first contracts as early as Mugello"
The flames of the market are smouldering under the ashes in the Borgo Panigale offices. Ducati is holding up negotiations by taking its time to decide who will be Bagnaia's team-mate between Martin, Marquez and Bastianini. All that remains for the others is to wait, and then close with the one who will be excluded from the choice. Carlo Pernat, Enea's manager and a great connoisseur of the rider market, knows this well.
submitted by Jealous-Rice1293 to motogp [link] [comments]
"Marquez has broken the balance, I don't think he will go to KTM. After Ducati's decision the market will accelerate, the first contracts as early as Mugello"
The flames of the market are smouldering under the ashes in the Borgo Panigale offices. Ducati is holding up negotiations by taking its time to decide who will be Bagnaia's team-mate between Martin, Marquez and Bastianini. All that remains for the others is to wait, and then close with the one who will be excluded from the choice. Carlo Pernat, Enea's manager and a great connoisseur of the rider market, knows this well.
"Ducati's decision, which will probably come after the Mugello GP, is blocking everyone: KTM, Aprilia, Yamaha - says Pernat - Right now, no one wants to sign contracts, there are maybe some verbal agreements, which have the value they have. I understand Ducati because they have three very strong riders and if at the beginning they thought they would leave two of them out, now their mentality has changed. I have the impression that they want to keep two and so they are putting pressure on Pramac in particular, but Yamaha are pushing hard with Campinoti. These days there will definitely be talks, I think before Mugello even Pramac will decide what to do."Today, Martin seems the favourite for the factory team, at this point Ducati could offer Pramac Marquez or Bastianini, provided they want to go.
"It's a hypothesis, if they decide for Jorge, in my opinion Ducati will make proposals to Marc and Enea to stay with the factory bike in a satellite team. That I think is the route they are taking."Would Bastianini accept being moved to Pramac?
"The priority is to stay with the factory team, everything else is to be seen. Going to Pramac with an official bike could be a possibility, but it's not certain. I speak as a manager, there are the lures of Aprilia, KTM and even Yamaha. I don't hide the fact that Aprilia has important aspects, there would be the combination of Italian bike and rider and a competitive bike, I am negotiating with them as with others. In any case, Enea will be able to find a place in an official team."Does Bastianini still hope to stay in red?
"If Ducati is postponing the decision it is because they still have faith in him. We mustn't forget that Enea was completely lost last year, he had arrived in a new team without Giribuola, with a new bike, he was immediately injured, he hadn't been able to train, he was injured again on his return to Barcelona and, despite being at 70%, he had managed to win a race. Ducati had reconfirmed him because they couldn't judge him for that season and now they also believe - and I also believe - in him.Martin, Marquez and Bastianini are within 40 points of each other in the championship, does the thought of losing the future world champion scare Ducati? What would you do as manager?
"Now it's late, they should have made different choices before. I've always said that the arrival of Marquez at Ducati would upset the balance after having made a policy of young people and winning. Now it's difficult to do something, they've created this problem for themselves."How does a rider react when he is in the situation of having to play for a seat in a few GPs?
"The riders when they race do not remember these things, but it is clear that they think about it when they are at home. There you can see the strength of each one, but that is not the only factor. For example, Enea ran out of fuel in qualifying at Le Mans, as he explained, and started on the fourth row. I am not asking for Bastianini to be lucky in these races, but not unlucky. By starting further in front he could have played with the leaders, he did the fastest lap at the end."What does Bastianini think?
"It is a situation that has never previously existed and we are all a bit, from the riders to the managers, on our toes. Enea hopes to stay with Ducati, but we are ahead in negotiations with Aprilia and KTM and we have an open discussion with Yamaha. The objective is to arrive at Mugello with clear ideas and there we can make pre-contracts, and I am sure that there will already be something written there."Does Bagnaia count for nothing in this decision?
"Rightly they may have asked him for an opinion, but then Ducati goes its own way, makes its own evaluations. It's not what makes the decision."Pit Beirer said that Marquez is not a realistic option for KTM, do you believe him?
"I believe him. Miller and Augusto Fernandez are not doing what they were meant to do and they need a rider for GasGas, in fact I am talking too. Anything is possible, but it's difficult to see Marc in KTM having already Acosta and Binder."Once Ducati has decided, will the market accelerate?
"Absolutely, especially for the big boys, as early as the next day. The manufacturers won't be able to wait, those who do will lose out."In addition to Aldeguer, could someone arrive from Moto2?
"It will depend a lot on whether Yamaha will have a second team or not and also Aprilia has to change something in Trackhouse. People are talking about Joe Roberts, so he could get a seat. Maybe there could be another one at Yamaha, Arbolino would have to wake up a bit, and also Vietti, who would have the jump secured with KTM if he went well."
2024.05.17 11:20 Ok_Aardvark_3669 When a video game wakes you up...and changes your life. (SPOILERS, Personal story)
Bear with me as I describe what amounts to an almost religious experience after finishing the game for the first time. SPOILERS and nigh-rambling. But I just have to share. I hope you'll stay a while a listen. :)
I tried playing Cyberpunk a couple months ago. Corpo Male, strong roleplaying. When the Johnny Silverhand stuff started, I got really frustrated and quit. I didn't like how the game saw fit to ramrod me into this extremely narrow story when I thought the experience was going to be more open than that. I wanted to play a character who tried to rise to the top of Night City's corporate world through double-dealing and backstabbery...and now all the sudden my character is dying and has this voice in his head.
I was not going to be able to tell the story I wanted to tell.
It was that ludonarrative dissonance thing, like in the Witcher 3, I always struggled to justify doing too many side missions, given that Geralt (as I was playing him) was very concerned about finding Ciri, so there just didn't seem to be time to get embroiled in all these other adventures.
But then I saw this randomly come across my YouTube feed: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0gR_C0Pd1k&ab_channel=JekavacTV
Dude. I don't care how linear your story is...that's incredible. And dark.
I've been on hard times lately. While I was never serious about unaliving myself, it was a thought that bounced around in my head here and there at my lowest moments...and this clip just...it hit me. I always believed that self-deletion was deeply wrong, if only because of the harm it did to others who loved you. Whatever was on the table, that solution could never be entertained seriously. I just couldn't do it to my loved ones.
But I've also been struggling with who I am, who I'm supposed to be, what my purpose is. LOL big club I know.
But that video convinced me to give 2077 another try. If an ending could be that hardcore and meaningful...there must be something worthwhile in this game. So I rolled a Nomad Male, and began my love affair with this game. I didn't try to concoct a character so much as just try to play V as myself. I really related to his leaving the Bakkers, and going it alone. Also I moved around a lot as a kid, and my Dad was a hippie biker in his heyday, and a mechanic. So it felt true to form.
And then when you meet Jackie...I mean c'mon, who's more loveable than Jackie?
I really started to get into the game then. And it finally started to dawn on me what the game's story is trying to communicate.
I figured 2077 would devolve into a lot of cynicism, and exploit the violence and sex for cheap thrills. Or maybe it would lean on shock value and become doomeblackpill fodder. But CDPR ain't no slouches. Night City is an exaggerated snapshot of where we are now. And V's predicament is one many of us are facing: we want to make our mark on the world, but is it worth it to step on everyone along the way? Even if we're trying not to die? Or worse, just be erased. Many of us struggle with a voice in our head telling us we're fuckups. We're pussies. We're slaves. We're not worth the trouble.
At first I took Silverhand for an antagonist, essentially. A nasty SOB I had to keep at bay, given that my V was a mostly good guy who just wanted a family again. Especially after Jackie died...man his wake, and helping Misty sort through his things? That got to me.
And of course there's that lingering fear that, no matter how much Silverhand may begin to charm you or appear like he's on your side - he's going to take over. V is actually warned that eventually, Silverhand will just make a play to do just that.
So I was careful with him, but I wanted to know more, because he was such an intriguing character, and its easily one of Reeves' best performances. Period. So I invested in his conversations and eventually his sidequests. I also did what I could to help others in Night City who helped me. I was dying, so...it felt like a good time to be generous. Even if sometimes I had to off a bunch of gangoons with a shotgun. XD
Then as the story developed, I began to see that Silverhand wasn't quite the legend everyone thought. He was a man who had sorely, sorely screwed his life up - as well as the lives of many others. He even seemed to regret it.
I even told Silverhand I'd take a bullet for him, after receiving his dog tags. I never expected that kind of a scene between those two.
It became clear that Silverhand was a ghost, stuck between life and death, looking for absolution, trying to do something right for once. And V could help. So I did. We found Alt Cunningham. We took Rogue on a date. We got Samurai together for one last gig. We tried to track Adam Smasher down. I was putting trust in Johnny, and it was clear that he wasn't really wanting to kill V after all. But he had no choice.
I also met Panam, fell in love, and became a de-facto Aldecaldo. Was never sure about Saul, but Mitch and the others were just salt of the earth man. Great little storyline.
I helped Judy, all the way until she finally left Night City, and was glad of it. I do wish she was romanceable by dudes, but...she was still just too precious, I couldn't turn a blind eye to her problems, or her kindness. Her little story with the underwater town was so moving and unique...I just wanted to give that girl a hug man. What a sweetheart.
Then it all came to a head. V is on his last leg. That fateful scene where you make your big choice. Silverhand pushing me to just take the orange pill and let him do his thing, since he's almost in control anyway. Or I could testify against Yorinobu, and put my trust in Arasaka. OR, I could call on my new family in Panam and the Aldecaldos, but put them at risk.
This entire game I felt like every choice was vital. I felt like one slip up and I could mess up my chances of living, or even worse, do wrong by the people I cared about, just like Jackie. But I stuck to my guns, helped who I could...
Which is why I chose to lean on the Aldecaldos for help. Yes, I was putting them at risk. But even though I was beginning to trust Johnny, this wasn't his fight anymore. Much as Johnny might have a shot, I couldn't just give up now. And I certainly wasn't going to trust anyone at Arasaka.
The raid on Arasaka HQ with the clan was rough. Felt like all my choices had led here, and I worried that CDPR was going to punish me for my past choices, given that Night City takes no prisoners and few get out alive. I also knew that Adam Smasher was bound to appear. And having seen Edgerunners...I knew that wasn't going to be pretty. I saw how Johnny's story ended, for example.
There were rumblings about Saul and Panam still being at odds, and I figured the game was priming me for a betrayal or a horrific upset somehow. But I forged ahead anyway, because I was with my family. I didn't want power. I didn't even want to be a legend. I just wanted to live.
I watched Adam Smasher kill Saul horrifically, heard Panam scream in horror...and I zeroed that MFer. XD
Protip: even on Hard Diff, if you have the right perks and implants, you can be virtually unkillable. Only died once. Not sure if that's impressive, but it felt impressive. XD
My V wasn't sophisticated, but he was tough as nails and determined. I wasn't about to let everyone's sacrifice be in vain. Not Saul's. Not Jackie's. Not Goro's. Not Johnny's.
I informed Smasher of Johnny's resurrection just before blowing his brains out with Johnny's own signature gun. Even though Johnny was subdued by the bluepill, it felt like my last gift to him...even as I was moments from death.
Then the moment of truth...Mikoshi. I asked Panam for parting advice. She said "Just be yourself." Normally I'd roll my eyes at that advice but, something about it felt prophetic.
The final choice. Alt had used Soulkiller on me, in order to save me, but now it seemed I wasn't going to get my happy ending. I could go with her beyond the Blackwall, and finally let Johnny have my body - or I could return, but only have about six months, since the Relic had just caused too much damage.
It wasn't that hard of a choice. Leave everything and everyone I had grown to love behind for some bizarre virtual afterlife? Or let Johnny finally rest, and let V return to the world, Panam and the Aldecaldos? I chose life. As Johnny laid me down in the 'well', gently, he said "Goodbye V." And it felt like two friends parting ways. It felt like he'd made a change, and I helped him get there.
And boy was I rewarded. Even though I didn't have long, I had a chance to start again, and maybe even find another way to live. I had Panam, I had the Caldos, and I could finally leave Night City in the dust. "I have everything I need", V said.
This game absolutely SLAPS with hard choices. Over and over and over, you're reminded about how unfair the world is. But if you keep your head on, and ignore the power plays, stay true to your friends, and don't take no shit - you can get out alive. And not just you. The ones you love can too.
Of course, many of you already know all of this. So why did I bother posting?
All my life I've felt like maybe I've been too nice, or too careful, or too unwilling to take life by the balls. But one thing I've always been good at is helping people in need when I can, and always being available to my friends. But for some reason I always looked down on myself for it. I never felt like I was worth anything. I never felt like I was making a difference in the world. There were so many hard choices, and I felt like I never made the right ones. And that I'd just die one day, and be forgotten. Never having made my mark. Just like so many in Night City...
Some days I'd think "Maybe it'd just be better if I was never born." Because I was such a fuckup. A loser. A nobody.
But the person who helps people, who's there for others even when its inconvenient? That's the kind of person who can make a REAL difference. Fuck money. Fuck politics. Fuck fame. None of its worth a damn if you aren't doing right by others.
And that really came through in the end credits. I'm not ashamed to say I was in tears as all these people from my playthrough reminded me how much I meant to them. How much they cared, and that I mattered. All these people had happy endings because of me. I never let them down, not even when the grim reaper himself was breathing down my neck.
It was like all my IRL friends and family were speaking to me in those moments. And finally, FINALLY, I could see myself as they saw me: a man who cared and was trying to be there for them. A man that made a difference in their lives.
Yeah I didn't save the world, per se. But, really, that's how we save the world for real, lame as it may sound. The sheer contrast between the ending I had earned by just trying to do right by all the people in V's life, and that horrific ending I posted earlier was...stark. If you give up, then everyone suffers, not just you.
This game saw me, and reminded me who I was. It rewarded me for it, and I'll never forget it. For all its flaws, all its quirks and failings, I adored this game and all the effort that went into it. It's clear CDPR were trying to say something with this work of art, and boy was the message received on my end.
I can safely say I'm less likely to despair now because of it. I feel more alive because of it. I feel more prepared for the real world because of it. And I wanted to share my experience, if only to remind one person that:
We can all make a difference. Live for others, not yourself. It pays off. Even if it doesn't seem like it at the time. It's the only legacy worth leaving in this fallen world.
submitted by Ok_Aardvark_3669 to cyberpunkgame [link] [comments]
I tried playing Cyberpunk a couple months ago. Corpo Male, strong roleplaying. When the Johnny Silverhand stuff started, I got really frustrated and quit. I didn't like how the game saw fit to ramrod me into this extremely narrow story when I thought the experience was going to be more open than that. I wanted to play a character who tried to rise to the top of Night City's corporate world through double-dealing and backstabbery...and now all the sudden my character is dying and has this voice in his head.
I was not going to be able to tell the story I wanted to tell.
It was that ludonarrative dissonance thing, like in the Witcher 3, I always struggled to justify doing too many side missions, given that Geralt (as I was playing him) was very concerned about finding Ciri, so there just didn't seem to be time to get embroiled in all these other adventures.
But then I saw this randomly come across my YouTube feed: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0gR_C0Pd1k&ab_channel=JekavacTV
Dude. I don't care how linear your story is...that's incredible. And dark.
I've been on hard times lately. While I was never serious about unaliving myself, it was a thought that bounced around in my head here and there at my lowest moments...and this clip just...it hit me. I always believed that self-deletion was deeply wrong, if only because of the harm it did to others who loved you. Whatever was on the table, that solution could never be entertained seriously. I just couldn't do it to my loved ones.
But I've also been struggling with who I am, who I'm supposed to be, what my purpose is. LOL big club I know.
But that video convinced me to give 2077 another try. If an ending could be that hardcore and meaningful...there must be something worthwhile in this game. So I rolled a Nomad Male, and began my love affair with this game. I didn't try to concoct a character so much as just try to play V as myself. I really related to his leaving the Bakkers, and going it alone. Also I moved around a lot as a kid, and my Dad was a hippie biker in his heyday, and a mechanic. So it felt true to form.
And then when you meet Jackie...I mean c'mon, who's more loveable than Jackie?
I really started to get into the game then. And it finally started to dawn on me what the game's story is trying to communicate.
I figured 2077 would devolve into a lot of cynicism, and exploit the violence and sex for cheap thrills. Or maybe it would lean on shock value and become doomeblackpill fodder. But CDPR ain't no slouches. Night City is an exaggerated snapshot of where we are now. And V's predicament is one many of us are facing: we want to make our mark on the world, but is it worth it to step on everyone along the way? Even if we're trying not to die? Or worse, just be erased. Many of us struggle with a voice in our head telling us we're fuckups. We're pussies. We're slaves. We're not worth the trouble.
At first I took Silverhand for an antagonist, essentially. A nasty SOB I had to keep at bay, given that my V was a mostly good guy who just wanted a family again. Especially after Jackie died...man his wake, and helping Misty sort through his things? That got to me.
And of course there's that lingering fear that, no matter how much Silverhand may begin to charm you or appear like he's on your side - he's going to take over. V is actually warned that eventually, Silverhand will just make a play to do just that.
So I was careful with him, but I wanted to know more, because he was such an intriguing character, and its easily one of Reeves' best performances. Period. So I invested in his conversations and eventually his sidequests. I also did what I could to help others in Night City who helped me. I was dying, so...it felt like a good time to be generous. Even if sometimes I had to off a bunch of gangoons with a shotgun. XD
Then as the story developed, I began to see that Silverhand wasn't quite the legend everyone thought. He was a man who had sorely, sorely screwed his life up - as well as the lives of many others. He even seemed to regret it.
I even told Silverhand I'd take a bullet for him, after receiving his dog tags. I never expected that kind of a scene between those two.
It became clear that Silverhand was a ghost, stuck between life and death, looking for absolution, trying to do something right for once. And V could help. So I did. We found Alt Cunningham. We took Rogue on a date. We got Samurai together for one last gig. We tried to track Adam Smasher down. I was putting trust in Johnny, and it was clear that he wasn't really wanting to kill V after all. But he had no choice.
I also met Panam, fell in love, and became a de-facto Aldecaldo. Was never sure about Saul, but Mitch and the others were just salt of the earth man. Great little storyline.
I helped Judy, all the way until she finally left Night City, and was glad of it. I do wish she was romanceable by dudes, but...she was still just too precious, I couldn't turn a blind eye to her problems, or her kindness. Her little story with the underwater town was so moving and unique...I just wanted to give that girl a hug man. What a sweetheart.
Then it all came to a head. V is on his last leg. That fateful scene where you make your big choice. Silverhand pushing me to just take the orange pill and let him do his thing, since he's almost in control anyway. Or I could testify against Yorinobu, and put my trust in Arasaka. OR, I could call on my new family in Panam and the Aldecaldos, but put them at risk.
This entire game I felt like every choice was vital. I felt like one slip up and I could mess up my chances of living, or even worse, do wrong by the people I cared about, just like Jackie. But I stuck to my guns, helped who I could...
Which is why I chose to lean on the Aldecaldos for help. Yes, I was putting them at risk. But even though I was beginning to trust Johnny, this wasn't his fight anymore. Much as Johnny might have a shot, I couldn't just give up now. And I certainly wasn't going to trust anyone at Arasaka.
The raid on Arasaka HQ with the clan was rough. Felt like all my choices had led here, and I worried that CDPR was going to punish me for my past choices, given that Night City takes no prisoners and few get out alive. I also knew that Adam Smasher was bound to appear. And having seen Edgerunners...I knew that wasn't going to be pretty. I saw how Johnny's story ended, for example.
There were rumblings about Saul and Panam still being at odds, and I figured the game was priming me for a betrayal or a horrific upset somehow. But I forged ahead anyway, because I was with my family. I didn't want power. I didn't even want to be a legend. I just wanted to live.
I watched Adam Smasher kill Saul horrifically, heard Panam scream in horror...and I zeroed that MFer. XD
Protip: even on Hard Diff, if you have the right perks and implants, you can be virtually unkillable. Only died once. Not sure if that's impressive, but it felt impressive. XD
My V wasn't sophisticated, but he was tough as nails and determined. I wasn't about to let everyone's sacrifice be in vain. Not Saul's. Not Jackie's. Not Goro's. Not Johnny's.
I informed Smasher of Johnny's resurrection just before blowing his brains out with Johnny's own signature gun. Even though Johnny was subdued by the bluepill, it felt like my last gift to him...even as I was moments from death.
Then the moment of truth...Mikoshi. I asked Panam for parting advice. She said "Just be yourself." Normally I'd roll my eyes at that advice but, something about it felt prophetic.
The final choice. Alt had used Soulkiller on me, in order to save me, but now it seemed I wasn't going to get my happy ending. I could go with her beyond the Blackwall, and finally let Johnny have my body - or I could return, but only have about six months, since the Relic had just caused too much damage.
It wasn't that hard of a choice. Leave everything and everyone I had grown to love behind for some bizarre virtual afterlife? Or let Johnny finally rest, and let V return to the world, Panam and the Aldecaldos? I chose life. As Johnny laid me down in the 'well', gently, he said "Goodbye V." And it felt like two friends parting ways. It felt like he'd made a change, and I helped him get there.
And boy was I rewarded. Even though I didn't have long, I had a chance to start again, and maybe even find another way to live. I had Panam, I had the Caldos, and I could finally leave Night City in the dust. "I have everything I need", V said.
This game absolutely SLAPS with hard choices. Over and over and over, you're reminded about how unfair the world is. But if you keep your head on, and ignore the power plays, stay true to your friends, and don't take no shit - you can get out alive. And not just you. The ones you love can too.
Of course, many of you already know all of this. So why did I bother posting?
All my life I've felt like maybe I've been too nice, or too careful, or too unwilling to take life by the balls. But one thing I've always been good at is helping people in need when I can, and always being available to my friends. But for some reason I always looked down on myself for it. I never felt like I was worth anything. I never felt like I was making a difference in the world. There were so many hard choices, and I felt like I never made the right ones. And that I'd just die one day, and be forgotten. Never having made my mark. Just like so many in Night City...
Some days I'd think "Maybe it'd just be better if I was never born." Because I was such a fuckup. A loser. A nobody.
But the person who helps people, who's there for others even when its inconvenient? That's the kind of person who can make a REAL difference. Fuck money. Fuck politics. Fuck fame. None of its worth a damn if you aren't doing right by others.
And that really came through in the end credits. I'm not ashamed to say I was in tears as all these people from my playthrough reminded me how much I meant to them. How much they cared, and that I mattered. All these people had happy endings because of me. I never let them down, not even when the grim reaper himself was breathing down my neck.
It was like all my IRL friends and family were speaking to me in those moments. And finally, FINALLY, I could see myself as they saw me: a man who cared and was trying to be there for them. A man that made a difference in their lives.
Yeah I didn't save the world, per se. But, really, that's how we save the world for real, lame as it may sound. The sheer contrast between the ending I had earned by just trying to do right by all the people in V's life, and that horrific ending I posted earlier was...stark. If you give up, then everyone suffers, not just you.
This game saw me, and reminded me who I was. It rewarded me for it, and I'll never forget it. For all its flaws, all its quirks and failings, I adored this game and all the effort that went into it. It's clear CDPR were trying to say something with this work of art, and boy was the message received on my end.
I can safely say I'm less likely to despair now because of it. I feel more alive because of it. I feel more prepared for the real world because of it. And I wanted to share my experience, if only to remind one person that:
We can all make a difference. Live for others, not yourself. It pays off. Even if it doesn't seem like it at the time. It's the only legacy worth leaving in this fallen world.
2024.05.17 11:20 Upper-Knowledge-3986 Male(32) broke up with my gf (23) with bpd or we broke up with eachother. And I’m struggling with the loss and regret that it may be my fault.
We both tattoo and met 9 months ago at the tattoo shop I worked at, she was an apprentice and we just clicked and started talking. In the beginning looking back I think we both love bombed eachother but at the time I didn’t see it that way I just saw it as love at first sight and I was so into her and her I. But I recall her telling me I told her I love you sooner than normal, I want to prefise this as to say I may also have some undiagnosed issues. I have an identical twin who has bipolar I dnt know the specifics but he could be very irrational and angry most of the time. But I’ve never been that way. I’m typically passive and try my best to avoid conflict, a people pleaser. But back to the story we fell in love and in the beginning our age gap was an issue for her but over time that became a non issue. I became part of her family and she became part of mine. But at least once a month she would break up with me for various reasons one main reason being she was confused about her sexuality, we are both bi, she would always come back saying she loved me and I’m just confused and we would have the most amazing sex and special moments. When we met she had a male friend that she told me was only a friend but after 4 months randomly confessed he wasn’t just a friend, he was an ex she met though a dating app. Which really shocked me because they talked everyday which isn’t a problem and I wouldn’t typically care but the fact she chose to lie for so long made me uncomfortable. Which she insisted on continuing to talk to after I expressed that it made me uncomfortable. She also had a mutual friend lie to me so they could spend time together without my knowledge saying that she did this because she thought I would be mad considering she’s bi and our mutual friend is lesbian. And again I was shocked that she did this. I found this out by looking in her phone which I’m not proud of but if I didn’t this information would have never been known. after this she treated me with so much love for a small period of time and I always wondered if it was only an attempt to make up for the things she’d did as it soon stopped and we went back to the ways things were. Her withholding affection silent treatments and lack of communication. But she wanted to regain my trust and so I chose to forgive her and build back the trust. Fast forward to now she would txt me I love u every morning and we had plans for the future and all the things in a relationship and suddenly and randomly again she messaged saying I can’t do this I’m confused and I no longer have feelings for you. Obviously I was confused and deeply hurt, I regrettably begged her to work on this with me because she has done this in the past and hasn’t been taking her medication throughout our relationship and since I’ve met her I’ve learned so much about her condition. She has quiet bpd and disorganized attachment. And I’m anxiously attached so in my mind I thought could this be a repeat of her past behaviors and with time this may pass. She agreed but said she only would do it to make me happy and that because her family loved me it made sense but deep down I knew and she vocalized that she didn’t want to and that she was putting on a mask to satisfy me. Which hurts because I want her to be happy but I also wanted her to want to fix this like I did. The plan was to take things slow so I invited her over for dinner and movies and told her I would refrain from serious talk but the problem is with her I was never able to talk about my feelings. Anything serious or relationship related and she would shut down and it stifled any communication. we had a few drinks and regrettably I brought up my frustrations and how it wasn’t just the two of it was us and her bpd. Like usual she shut down and I tried to be present while she explained her feelings. The mistake I made was that while she was crying I was smirking this is what she said and that wasn’t my intention to make her feel crazy but she said my facial expressions made her feel that way .so she left and has blocked me on everything. I kind of vommitted all my backed up feelings on her because I repressed it for so long and I feel bad, I didn’t want to hurt her but I never felt safe telling her how I felt out of fear of her reaction but since it may very well be the end I wanted to at least tell my truth. I loved her so much and regret my inability to hold to what I said and not bring up serous talk if u will but I also feel like it’s not fair to me that I can’t express my self to my partner. Through our relationship she said some of the meanest things anyone has ever to me that anyone. I guess this is kind of a rant and idk what opinions you may have because I don’t think she will ever speak to me again but the saddest part is I truly loved her and her family and would have done anything for her and I tried every day to be there for her and learn about her condition so that I could be the best partner possible . I’m scared about my future and the pain I will face in the coming months, I built my life around her. But I think deep down I knew this wouldn’t work I just so badly wanted it to. I love u Andrea always and forever. I’ll never know how much of our relationship was steered by her bpd but I know that she has an amazingly loving and kind person and just has her own set of problems. I want to say that I know I have issues to and in no way want to be negative towards her or undermined my issue I just can only write so much in this post. I’ve never felt a pain like this and I’ve had other serious relationships. Sry for the rant I just need to vent my feelings and I just miss her already and I dnt see a point in anything anymore but I’m to weak to unalive myself.
submitted by Upper-Knowledge-3986 to BreakUps [link] [comments]
2024.05.17 11:18 Leather_Fig1840 My friend has cut me off because he has a crush on me and I can’t get him out of my head
My (19M) friend (19M) texted me 3 months ago to tell me that he could no longer speak to me because he is in a committed relationship and he was starting to develop a crush on me. In order to prioritise his boyfriend, whom he loves very much, he had to cut contact with me, for a non-specific amount of time. In his words, it is “dangerous” for us to speak.
This all starts when we were 16- 3 years ago. Something important to know: this did not start platonically. We were two 16 year old boys who had similar interests and who could sustain one another intellectually, and thence began a romantic long-distance summer fling. He is a classical musician and actually composed me some pieces. After a while, it died out because of the distance. We remained friends after the fact, but I most certainly did not forget him. He told me at 16 that I was one of those people you’re told your whole life that you’ll meet. Those words have stuck with me.
For the next two years that followed, contact remained spotty. Any conversation we had revolved around music (mostly), philosophy, life, anything. Usually long conversations, but very infrequent.
Then August 2023 rolls around. I’m 18 and I’m about to begin uni on the other side of the country. In a new city….. in his city. Yes, I moved to his city. Not on purpose. I post my arrival on my Instagram story, and he replies that we must get coffee together sometime soon. Basically, I was head over heels. I had a crush on this guy. He’s a local, so he ended up picking a pizza restaurant. I arrive first and I’m waiting in front of the restaurant, facing the window. All of a sudden, I see his reflection in the window; a guy wearing a violin case like a backpack. I turn around and he crosses the street to come give me a hug. This was our first meeting in person.
We spoke a while in the restaurant. Spoiler: He has had a boyfriend since March at this point (I HAD NO CLUE). At one point in our pizza-filled conversation, he mentions his boyfriend. However, in our language, the word he used can mean either boyfriend or friend. I really didn’t think he was in a relationship, so my delusional ass interpreted it in the platonic sense. After the restaurant, we walked to his music school, where we found a room. I sat on a chair and he took out his violin. He asked me to name any composer and he would play a piece from said composer. I neglected to mention that he is extremely talented. One in a million. If it isn’t obvious, I thought this was a date. It was not a date; not for him at least.
After said encounter, I felt quite disappointed that I didn’t get any romantic vibes from him (duh, it was not a date. He literally mentioned his boyfriend lol). I complained to my old roommate for days about this. My roommate, on some intoxicated bender, texts this guy and tells him that he needs to let me know if he has feelings for me or not. I was furious. My roommate guiltily confessed this to me the following morning. He told my roommate that he is not single and that he is not at all interested in me. He does say, however, that “we would have been the perfect match”; something that he probably shouldn’t have said but it is not something that I will contest. What my roommate did was a gross violation of my boundaries, of course I’m upset. However, in a way, it almost needed to happen. A few days later, I reply to his story about some other restaurant, and he says that his bf/friend (the word is ambiguous in our language) recommended it to him. I ask him if he has a boyfriend and he clears it up then and there. It was after this interaction that my crush dissipated. Knowing that he wasn’t interested in me really helped with me moving onto other guys.
Over the following months, we speak every now and then. When we spoke, the conversations would not end. The kind of conversations where you know that you have to go to bed, so you wished the other person goodnight, yet there you are talking about fucking Ligeti 50 minutes later. Anyways, while I was supposed to working on a philosophy assignment, I told him that I USED to have a crush on him, but I was firm on the fact that I no longer did. I told him the “date” story as a funny anecdote. He had no clue that I ever liked him like that at any point. The conversation got a little awkward, but he told me that he really loves his boyfriend, but that he “does not forget”. He tells me that we would have been a perfect match. Funny.
A little while after, he invites me to one of his concerts at the museum. There, I meet his mother and grandparents. Also, his boyfriend. The concert was great, and the three of us chat for a while afterwards. Unfortunately, he has to leave, but he suggests that I tour the museum with his boyfriend, so his boyfriend and I tour the museum together. Interesting experience. Something important to know: I don’t have the best impression of his boyfriend. Their relationship is (was???) an open relationship and it felt like this guy really had to convince him to join his polyamory, based on what he told me in their conversations. Also, they were apparently on a break at one point earlier in the year because my friend’s mental/physical health was really bad, so to me it seems as though his boyfriend abandoned him in his time of need because the relationship “got hard”, so I already don’t have the best impression of him based on what my friend has told me. Anyways, I honestly thought that his bf was flirting with me??? (I guess he is allowed to because it’s an open relationship, but still…).
Fast forward the following month: we were supposed to see a concert together but something bad happened so he couldn’t attend. I end up buying him a CD which I had signed because this is a very famous pianist who just happened to visit our city. For like 3 months, we didn’t see each other, but I reminded him regularly that I had a specially-signed CD to give him. He has classes next to my apartment sometimes, but we can’t seem to get our schedules to fit…. until the end of February.
He has this class thing where you can invite people to watch you play and get critiqued, which he invited me to! After watching him play, I greet him outside the room and one of his colleagues. Let’s call her F. We all chat a little and I give him his disk. Literally such a mundane interaction.
BUT THEN THREE DAYS LATER, he texts me that he is very sorry, but that we have to cut contact. He has been dishonest toward himself and toward his boyfriend, because he has a crush on me. He doesn’t WANT to have a crush on me. And look, I get it. His relationship is important and he is putting the guy he loves first. You can’t control how you feel about people, but you CAN control what you do about it. So I get it. Wouldn’t I do the same? I told him to promise me that he wouldn’t forget about me completely. I screamed “what the actual fuck” multiple times because I didn’t know how to process this. This is definitely not an event I expected to have in 2024… The only links we have in common are now: we have each other’s phone numbers, we are Facebook friends, and I am friends with F on Facebook because she also happens to be in my programme at uni. But we have not spoken. Not a single word between us since February 24th. I respect his decision, so I will not speak to him.
This guy occupied my mind rent-free. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Frustrating because when he told me that he wasn’t interested back in August, that was enough to help me move on. And all of a sudden, my mind can’t let go of the fact that this guy has a crush on me. This guy, whom my type is kind of based on honestly. Middle of March rolls by, and I meet F (his colleague) again at an event hosted by our programme. We all got drunk, especially me 🤦🏻♂️. And of course, being drunk, you have a tendency to bring down your inhibitions. We’re on the bus and she asks me how I know the friend. I tell her it’s a long story, but that I can’t speak to him anymore. I say that “he’s soooo dramatic”. She asks me to explain further, but I tell her that I can’t.
The next day, I felt like an idiot!!! Wow. I almost told her what happened. I don’t need that spreading around his school. I saw a uni therapist at the beginning of April, which didn’t really help much. Every time I took the bus, I would check to see if he too was on the bus. Never was.
BUT THEN, I met someone new. We’ll call him T. T has been successful in getting my mind off of the friend. It’s quite recent, but we’re seeing each other and it’s moving along smoothly. Beginning of May, I barely think about the friend anymore. I have a new guy in my thoughts and I’m very happy about it. So T and I go to see a concert together. Guess who just had to be doing a pre-concert in the waiting hall. The violinist friend. T and I are walking up the stairs and all of a sudden the violinist and I made eye-contact and I basically just had a hot flash. I had not seen this guy since February… And I seriously had to make eye-contact with him while I’m on a date with T???
I feel like my progress is ruined. Ever since I saw him at the concert hall, he is on my mind again. I keep checking his Facebook. I can’t listen to my favourite music without thinking about him. But I refuse to give up the music that feeds my soul just because he likes the same stuff. I feel awful toward T, because I have another guy in my thoughts.
All I know is that this person is special. I have known this for years and he is not someone I could accept never having in my life again. He has never forsaken me. I have a deep desire to share my life with him and to be apart of his, and I am perfectly okay with it being platonic. I just don’t know how I’m supposed to live my life without it being a soap opera.
TL;DR: An old friend that I had a crush on, but no longer had a crush on once I found out that he was in a relationship and was not interested in me, ended up having a crush on me and has had to cut contact with me in order to not be dishonest toward his boyfriend. I can’t stop thinking about him. It’s driving me mad.
submitted by Leather_Fig1840 to relationships [link] [comments]
This all starts when we were 16- 3 years ago. Something important to know: this did not start platonically. We were two 16 year old boys who had similar interests and who could sustain one another intellectually, and thence began a romantic long-distance summer fling. He is a classical musician and actually composed me some pieces. After a while, it died out because of the distance. We remained friends after the fact, but I most certainly did not forget him. He told me at 16 that I was one of those people you’re told your whole life that you’ll meet. Those words have stuck with me.
For the next two years that followed, contact remained spotty. Any conversation we had revolved around music (mostly), philosophy, life, anything. Usually long conversations, but very infrequent.
Then August 2023 rolls around. I’m 18 and I’m about to begin uni on the other side of the country. In a new city….. in his city. Yes, I moved to his city. Not on purpose. I post my arrival on my Instagram story, and he replies that we must get coffee together sometime soon. Basically, I was head over heels. I had a crush on this guy. He’s a local, so he ended up picking a pizza restaurant. I arrive first and I’m waiting in front of the restaurant, facing the window. All of a sudden, I see his reflection in the window; a guy wearing a violin case like a backpack. I turn around and he crosses the street to come give me a hug. This was our first meeting in person.
We spoke a while in the restaurant. Spoiler: He has had a boyfriend since March at this point (I HAD NO CLUE). At one point in our pizza-filled conversation, he mentions his boyfriend. However, in our language, the word he used can mean either boyfriend or friend. I really didn’t think he was in a relationship, so my delusional ass interpreted it in the platonic sense. After the restaurant, we walked to his music school, where we found a room. I sat on a chair and he took out his violin. He asked me to name any composer and he would play a piece from said composer. I neglected to mention that he is extremely talented. One in a million. If it isn’t obvious, I thought this was a date. It was not a date; not for him at least.
After said encounter, I felt quite disappointed that I didn’t get any romantic vibes from him (duh, it was not a date. He literally mentioned his boyfriend lol). I complained to my old roommate for days about this. My roommate, on some intoxicated bender, texts this guy and tells him that he needs to let me know if he has feelings for me or not. I was furious. My roommate guiltily confessed this to me the following morning. He told my roommate that he is not single and that he is not at all interested in me. He does say, however, that “we would have been the perfect match”; something that he probably shouldn’t have said but it is not something that I will contest. What my roommate did was a gross violation of my boundaries, of course I’m upset. However, in a way, it almost needed to happen. A few days later, I reply to his story about some other restaurant, and he says that his bf/friend (the word is ambiguous in our language) recommended it to him. I ask him if he has a boyfriend and he clears it up then and there. It was after this interaction that my crush dissipated. Knowing that he wasn’t interested in me really helped with me moving onto other guys.
Over the following months, we speak every now and then. When we spoke, the conversations would not end. The kind of conversations where you know that you have to go to bed, so you wished the other person goodnight, yet there you are talking about fucking Ligeti 50 minutes later. Anyways, while I was supposed to working on a philosophy assignment, I told him that I USED to have a crush on him, but I was firm on the fact that I no longer did. I told him the “date” story as a funny anecdote. He had no clue that I ever liked him like that at any point. The conversation got a little awkward, but he told me that he really loves his boyfriend, but that he “does not forget”. He tells me that we would have been a perfect match. Funny.
A little while after, he invites me to one of his concerts at the museum. There, I meet his mother and grandparents. Also, his boyfriend. The concert was great, and the three of us chat for a while afterwards. Unfortunately, he has to leave, but he suggests that I tour the museum with his boyfriend, so his boyfriend and I tour the museum together. Interesting experience. Something important to know: I don’t have the best impression of his boyfriend. Their relationship is (was???) an open relationship and it felt like this guy really had to convince him to join his polyamory, based on what he told me in their conversations. Also, they were apparently on a break at one point earlier in the year because my friend’s mental/physical health was really bad, so to me it seems as though his boyfriend abandoned him in his time of need because the relationship “got hard”, so I already don’t have the best impression of him based on what my friend has told me. Anyways, I honestly thought that his bf was flirting with me??? (I guess he is allowed to because it’s an open relationship, but still…).
Fast forward the following month: we were supposed to see a concert together but something bad happened so he couldn’t attend. I end up buying him a CD which I had signed because this is a very famous pianist who just happened to visit our city. For like 3 months, we didn’t see each other, but I reminded him regularly that I had a specially-signed CD to give him. He has classes next to my apartment sometimes, but we can’t seem to get our schedules to fit…. until the end of February.
He has this class thing where you can invite people to watch you play and get critiqued, which he invited me to! After watching him play, I greet him outside the room and one of his colleagues. Let’s call her F. We all chat a little and I give him his disk. Literally such a mundane interaction.
BUT THEN THREE DAYS LATER, he texts me that he is very sorry, but that we have to cut contact. He has been dishonest toward himself and toward his boyfriend, because he has a crush on me. He doesn’t WANT to have a crush on me. And look, I get it. His relationship is important and he is putting the guy he loves first. You can’t control how you feel about people, but you CAN control what you do about it. So I get it. Wouldn’t I do the same? I told him to promise me that he wouldn’t forget about me completely. I screamed “what the actual fuck” multiple times because I didn’t know how to process this. This is definitely not an event I expected to have in 2024… The only links we have in common are now: we have each other’s phone numbers, we are Facebook friends, and I am friends with F on Facebook because she also happens to be in my programme at uni. But we have not spoken. Not a single word between us since February 24th. I respect his decision, so I will not speak to him.
This guy occupied my mind rent-free. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Frustrating because when he told me that he wasn’t interested back in August, that was enough to help me move on. And all of a sudden, my mind can’t let go of the fact that this guy has a crush on me. This guy, whom my type is kind of based on honestly. Middle of March rolls by, and I meet F (his colleague) again at an event hosted by our programme. We all got drunk, especially me 🤦🏻♂️. And of course, being drunk, you have a tendency to bring down your inhibitions. We’re on the bus and she asks me how I know the friend. I tell her it’s a long story, but that I can’t speak to him anymore. I say that “he’s soooo dramatic”. She asks me to explain further, but I tell her that I can’t.
The next day, I felt like an idiot!!! Wow. I almost told her what happened. I don’t need that spreading around his school. I saw a uni therapist at the beginning of April, which didn’t really help much. Every time I took the bus, I would check to see if he too was on the bus. Never was.
BUT THEN, I met someone new. We’ll call him T. T has been successful in getting my mind off of the friend. It’s quite recent, but we’re seeing each other and it’s moving along smoothly. Beginning of May, I barely think about the friend anymore. I have a new guy in my thoughts and I’m very happy about it. So T and I go to see a concert together. Guess who just had to be doing a pre-concert in the waiting hall. The violinist friend. T and I are walking up the stairs and all of a sudden the violinist and I made eye-contact and I basically just had a hot flash. I had not seen this guy since February… And I seriously had to make eye-contact with him while I’m on a date with T???
I feel like my progress is ruined. Ever since I saw him at the concert hall, he is on my mind again. I keep checking his Facebook. I can’t listen to my favourite music without thinking about him. But I refuse to give up the music that feeds my soul just because he likes the same stuff. I feel awful toward T, because I have another guy in my thoughts.
All I know is that this person is special. I have known this for years and he is not someone I could accept never having in my life again. He has never forsaken me. I have a deep desire to share my life with him and to be apart of his, and I am perfectly okay with it being platonic. I just don’t know how I’m supposed to live my life without it being a soap opera.
TL;DR: An old friend that I had a crush on, but no longer had a crush on once I found out that he was in a relationship and was not interested in me, ended up having a crush on me and has had to cut contact with me in order to not be dishonest toward his boyfriend. I can’t stop thinking about him. It’s driving me mad.
2024.05.17 11:16 Murky-Way9488 Do you go back and read your old journals?
Hey I’m new here but was curious to see if any of you look back on what you wrote in the past. I’ll go back and read my entire from a year ago that day (for example I’d look back at May 17, 2023 today). I enjoy it cause it helps me see how far I have in term of progress.
submitted by Murky-Way9488 to Journaling [link] [comments]
2024.05.17 11:15 Ill-Exchange6157 Experience Tranquility: Discovering Pacific Inn, the Ultimate Nature Resort in Rishikesh
In the heart of the mystical city of Rishikesh, where the Ganges flows with divine grace and the Himalayas echo with ancient whispers, lies a haven nestled amidst nature's embrace – Pacific Inn. As the sun rises over the majestic peaks and the tranquil river glistens in its golden hues, this nature resort in rishikesh emerges as a sanctuary for seekers of peace and rejuvenation.
Unveiling Nature's Symphony
Nature has a unique way of serenading the soul, and at Pacific Inn, every moment is a symphony of tranquility. From the lush greenery that envelops the resort to the melodious chirping of birds, every sight and sound resonates with the essence of nature's beauty. As you step into this enchanting retreat, you are greeted by the gentle rustle of leaves and the sweet fragrance of wildflowers, inviting you to surrender to the rhythm of the natural world.
Embracing Sustainable Luxury
At Pacific Inn, luxury coexists harmoniously with sustainability. The resort is designed to minimize its ecological footprint while offering guests a truly indulgent experience. From eco-friendly architecture that blends seamlessly with the surrounding landscape to organic farm-to-table dining experiences, every aspect of Pacific Inn reflects a commitment to preserving the environment. As you unwind in your elegantly appointed suite or savor a delectable meal crafted from locally sourced ingredients, you can do so with the knowledge that your stay is contributing to the preservation of the planet.
Reconnecting with Mind, Body, and Spirit
In a world that is constantly bustling with noise and distractions, Pacific Inn offers a sanctuary for introspection and renewal. Whether you choose to start your day with a serene yoga session overlooking the Himalayas or embark on a soul-nourishing meditation journey by the riverside, you will find ample opportunities to reconnect with your inner self. For those seeking a more adventurous experience, the resort offers a range of outdoor activities such as trekking, river rafting, and nature walks, allowing you to immerse yourself fully in the breathtaking beauty of the Himalayan foothills.
Culinary Delights and Cultural Experiences
No journey is complete without the exploration of local flavors and traditions, and Pacific Inn invites you to embark on a culinary and cultural odyssey like no other. Indulge your senses with a culinary journey that celebrates the rich and diverse heritage of Indian cuisine, from traditional Himachali delicacies to contemporary fusion creations. As you savor each bite, you will not only tantalize your taste buds but also gain a deeper appreciation for the culinary artistry that thrives in this vibrant region.
A Gateway to Spiritual Enlightenment
Rishikesh has long been revered as the "Yoga Capital of the World," drawing seekers and sages from far and wide in search of spiritual enlightenment. At Pacific Inn, you have the opportunity to immerse yourself in this ancient spiritual tradition and embark on a transformative journey of self-discovery. Whether you choose to participate in daily yoga and meditation sessions led by experienced instructors or engage in insightful discussions with spiritual leaders and practitioners, you will find ample guidance and support on your path to awakening.
Conclusion:
In the serene embrace of Pacific Inn, amidst the awe-inspiring beauty of Rishikesh, you will discover a sanctuary where nature's wisdom converges with human ingenuity to create an experience that is truly transcendent. Whether you seek solace in the tranquility of the mountains, nourishment in the flavors of the earth, or enlightenment in the depths of your soul, Pacific Inn offers a gateway to a world of infinite possibilities. Come, embark on a journey of discovery and rejuvenation, and let the magic of Rishikesh unfold before you.
submitted by Ill-Exchange6157 to Pacificinn [link] [comments]
Unveiling Nature's Symphony
Nature has a unique way of serenading the soul, and at Pacific Inn, every moment is a symphony of tranquility. From the lush greenery that envelops the resort to the melodious chirping of birds, every sight and sound resonates with the essence of nature's beauty. As you step into this enchanting retreat, you are greeted by the gentle rustle of leaves and the sweet fragrance of wildflowers, inviting you to surrender to the rhythm of the natural world.
Embracing Sustainable Luxury
At Pacific Inn, luxury coexists harmoniously with sustainability. The resort is designed to minimize its ecological footprint while offering guests a truly indulgent experience. From eco-friendly architecture that blends seamlessly with the surrounding landscape to organic farm-to-table dining experiences, every aspect of Pacific Inn reflects a commitment to preserving the environment. As you unwind in your elegantly appointed suite or savor a delectable meal crafted from locally sourced ingredients, you can do so with the knowledge that your stay is contributing to the preservation of the planet.
Reconnecting with Mind, Body, and Spirit
In a world that is constantly bustling with noise and distractions, Pacific Inn offers a sanctuary for introspection and renewal. Whether you choose to start your day with a serene yoga session overlooking the Himalayas or embark on a soul-nourishing meditation journey by the riverside, you will find ample opportunities to reconnect with your inner self. For those seeking a more adventurous experience, the resort offers a range of outdoor activities such as trekking, river rafting, and nature walks, allowing you to immerse yourself fully in the breathtaking beauty of the Himalayan foothills.
Culinary Delights and Cultural Experiences
No journey is complete without the exploration of local flavors and traditions, and Pacific Inn invites you to embark on a culinary and cultural odyssey like no other. Indulge your senses with a culinary journey that celebrates the rich and diverse heritage of Indian cuisine, from traditional Himachali delicacies to contemporary fusion creations. As you savor each bite, you will not only tantalize your taste buds but also gain a deeper appreciation for the culinary artistry that thrives in this vibrant region.
A Gateway to Spiritual Enlightenment
Rishikesh has long been revered as the "Yoga Capital of the World," drawing seekers and sages from far and wide in search of spiritual enlightenment. At Pacific Inn, you have the opportunity to immerse yourself in this ancient spiritual tradition and embark on a transformative journey of self-discovery. Whether you choose to participate in daily yoga and meditation sessions led by experienced instructors or engage in insightful discussions with spiritual leaders and practitioners, you will find ample guidance and support on your path to awakening.
Conclusion:
In the serene embrace of Pacific Inn, amidst the awe-inspiring beauty of Rishikesh, you will discover a sanctuary where nature's wisdom converges with human ingenuity to create an experience that is truly transcendent. Whether you seek solace in the tranquility of the mountains, nourishment in the flavors of the earth, or enlightenment in the depths of your soul, Pacific Inn offers a gateway to a world of infinite possibilities. Come, embark on a journey of discovery and rejuvenation, and let the magic of Rishikesh unfold before you.
2024.05.17 11:13 Leather_Fig1840 My friend has cut me off because he has a crush on me and I can’t get him out of my head
My (19M) friend (19M) texted me 3 months ago to tell me that he could no longer speak to me because he is in a committed relationship and he was starting to develop a crush on me. In order to prioritise his boyfriend, whom he loves very much, he had to cut contact with me, for a non-specific amount of time. In his words, it is “dangerous” for us to speak.
This all starts when we were 16- 3 years ago. Something important to know: this did not start platonically. We were two 16 year old boys who had similar interests and who could sustain one another intellectually, and thence began a romantic long-distance summer fling. He is a classical musician and actually composed me some pieces. After a while, it died out because of the distance. We remained friends after the fact, but I most certainly did not forget him. He told me at 16 that I was one of those people you’re told your whole life that you’ll meet. Those words have stuck with me.
For the next two years that followed, contact remained spotty. Any conversation we had revolved around music (mostly), philosophy, life, anything. Usually long conversations, but very infrequent.
Then August 2023 rolls around. I’m 18 and I’m about to begin uni on the other side of the country. In a new city….. in his city. Yes, I moved to his city. Not on purpose. I post my arrival on my Instagram story, and he replies that we must get coffee together sometime soon. Basically, I was head over heels. I had a crush on this guy. He’s a local, so he ended up picking a pizza restaurant. I arrive first and I’m waiting in front of the restaurant, facing the window. All of a sudden, I see his reflection in the window; a guy wearing a violin case like a backpack. I turn around and he crosses the street to come give me a hug. This was our first meeting in person.
We spoke a while in the restaurant. Spoiler: He has had a boyfriend since March at this point (I HAD NO CLUE). At one point in our pizza-filled conversation, he mentions his boyfriend. However, in our language, the word he used can mean either boyfriend or friend. I really didn’t think he was in a relationship, so my delusional ass interpreted it in the platonic sense. After the restaurant, we walked to his music school, where we found a room. I sat on a chair and he took out his violin. He asked me to name any composer and he would play a piece from said composer. I neglected to mention that he is extremely talented. One in a million. If it isn’t obvious, I thought this was a date. It was not a date; not for him at least.
After said encounter, I felt quite disappointed that I didn’t get any romantic vibes from him (duh, it was not a date. He literally mentioned his boyfriend lol). I complained to my old roommate for days about this. My roommate, on some intoxicated bender, texts this guy and tells him that he needs to let me know if he has feelings for me or not. I was furious. My roommate guiltily confessed this to me the following morning. He told my roommate that he is not single and that he is not at all interested in me. He does say, however, that “we would have been the perfect match”; something that he probably shouldn’t have said but it is not something that I will contest. What my roommate did was a gross violation of my boundaries, of course I’m upset. However, in a way, it almost needed to happen. A few days later, I reply to his story about some other restaurant, and he says that his bf/friend (the word is ambiguous in our language) recommended it to him. I ask him if he has a boyfriend and he clears it up then and there. It was after this interaction that my crush dissipated. Knowing that he wasn’t interested in me really helped with me moving onto other guys.
Over the following months, we speak every now and then. When we spoke, the conversations would not end. The kind of conversations where you know that you have to go to bed, so you wished the other person goodnight, yet there you are talking about fucking Ligeti 50 minutes later. Anyways, while I was supposed to working on a philosophy assignment, I told him that I USED to have a crush on him, but I was firm on the fact that I no longer did. I told him the “date” story as a funny anecdote. He had no clue that I ever liked him like that at any point. The conversation got a little awkward, but he told me that he really loves his boyfriend, but that he “does not forget”. He tells me that we would have been a perfect match. Funny.
A little while after, he invites me to one of his concerts at the museum. There, I meet his mother and grandparents. Also, his boyfriend. The concert was great, and the three of us chat for a while afterwards. Unfortunately, he has to leave, but he suggests that I tour the museum with his boyfriend, so his boyfriend and I tour the museum together. Interesting experience. Something important to know: I don’t have the best impression of his boyfriend. Their relationship is (was???) an open relationship and it felt like this guy really had to convince him to join his polyamory, based on what he told me in their conversations. Also, they were apparently on a break at one point earlier in the year because my friend’s mental/physical health was really bad, so to me it seems as though his boyfriend abandoned him in his time of need because the relationship “got hard”, so I already don’t have the best impression of him based on what my friend has told me. Anyways, I honestly thought that his bf was flirting with me??? (I guess he is allowed to because it’s an open relationship, but still…).
Fast forward the following month: we were supposed to see a concert together but something bad happened so he couldn’t attend. I end up buying him a CD which I had signed because this is a very famous pianist who just happened to visit our city. For like 3 months, we didn’t see each other, but I reminded him regularly that I had a specially-signed CD to give him. He has classes next to my apartment sometimes, but we can’t seem to get our schedules to fit…. until the end of February.
He has this class thing where you can invite people to watch you play and get critiqued, which he invited me to! After watching him play, I greet him outside the room and one of his colleagues. Let’s call her F. We all chat a little and I give him his disk. Literally such a mundane interaction.
BUT THEN THREE DAYS LATER, he texts me that he is very sorry, but that we have to cut contact. He has been dishonest toward himself and toward his boyfriend, because he has a crush on me. He doesn’t WANT to have a crush on me. And look, I get it. His relationship is important and he is putting the guy he loves first. You can’t control how you feel about people, but you CAN control what you do about it. So I get it. Wouldn’t I do the same? I told him to promise me that he wouldn’t forget about me completely. I screamed “what the actual fuck” multiple times because I didn’t know how to process this. This is definitely not an event I expected to have in 2024… The only links we have in common are now: we have each other’s phone numbers, we are Facebook friends, and I am friends with F on Facebook because she also happens to be in my programme at uni. But we have not spoken. Not a single word between us since February 24th. I respect his decision, so I will not speak to him.
This guy occupied my mind rent-free. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Frustrating because when he told me that he wasn’t interested back in August, that was enough to help me move on. And all of a sudden, my mind can’t let go of the fact that this guy has a crush on me. This guy, whom my type is kind of based on honestly. Middle of March rolls by, and I meet F (his colleague) again at an event hosted by our programme. We all got drunk, especially me 🤦🏻♂️. And of course, being drunk, you have a tendency to bring down your inhibitions. We’re on the bus and she asks me how I know the friend. I tell her it’s a long story, but that I can’t speak to him anymore. I say that “he’s soooo dramatic”. She asks me to explain further, but I tell her that I can’t.
The next day, I felt like an idiot!!! Wow. I almost told her what happened. I don’t need that spreading around his school. I saw a uni therapist at the beginning of April, which didn’t really help much. Every time I took the bus, I would check to see if he too was on the bus. Never was.
BUT THEN, I met someone new. We’ll call him T. T has been successful in getting my mind off of the friend. It’s quite recent, but we’re seeing each other and it’s moving along smoothly. Beginning of May, I barely think about the friend anymore. I have a new guy in my thoughts and I’m very happy about it. So T and I go to see a concert together. Guess who just had to be doing a pre-concert in the waiting hall. The violinist friend. T and I are walking up the stairs and all of a sudden the violinist and I made eye-contact and I basically just had a hot flash. I had not seen this guy since February… And I seriously had to make eye-contact with him while I’m on a date with T???
I feel like my progress is ruined. Ever since I saw him at the concert hall, he is on my mind again. I keep checking his Facebook. I can’t listen to my favourite music without thinking about him. But I refuse to give up the music that feeds my soul just because he likes the same stuff. I feel awful toward T, because I have another guy in my thoughts.
All I know is that this person is special. I have known this for years and he is not someone I could accept never having in my life again. He has never forsaken me. I have a deep desire to share my life with him and to be apart of his, and I am perfectly okay with it being platonic. I just don’t know how I’m supposed to live my life without it being a soap opera.
submitted by Leather_Fig1840 to gaybros [link] [comments]
This all starts when we were 16- 3 years ago. Something important to know: this did not start platonically. We were two 16 year old boys who had similar interests and who could sustain one another intellectually, and thence began a romantic long-distance summer fling. He is a classical musician and actually composed me some pieces. After a while, it died out because of the distance. We remained friends after the fact, but I most certainly did not forget him. He told me at 16 that I was one of those people you’re told your whole life that you’ll meet. Those words have stuck with me.
For the next two years that followed, contact remained spotty. Any conversation we had revolved around music (mostly), philosophy, life, anything. Usually long conversations, but very infrequent.
Then August 2023 rolls around. I’m 18 and I’m about to begin uni on the other side of the country. In a new city….. in his city. Yes, I moved to his city. Not on purpose. I post my arrival on my Instagram story, and he replies that we must get coffee together sometime soon. Basically, I was head over heels. I had a crush on this guy. He’s a local, so he ended up picking a pizza restaurant. I arrive first and I’m waiting in front of the restaurant, facing the window. All of a sudden, I see his reflection in the window; a guy wearing a violin case like a backpack. I turn around and he crosses the street to come give me a hug. This was our first meeting in person.
We spoke a while in the restaurant. Spoiler: He has had a boyfriend since March at this point (I HAD NO CLUE). At one point in our pizza-filled conversation, he mentions his boyfriend. However, in our language, the word he used can mean either boyfriend or friend. I really didn’t think he was in a relationship, so my delusional ass interpreted it in the platonic sense. After the restaurant, we walked to his music school, where we found a room. I sat on a chair and he took out his violin. He asked me to name any composer and he would play a piece from said composer. I neglected to mention that he is extremely talented. One in a million. If it isn’t obvious, I thought this was a date. It was not a date; not for him at least.
After said encounter, I felt quite disappointed that I didn’t get any romantic vibes from him (duh, it was not a date. He literally mentioned his boyfriend lol). I complained to my old roommate for days about this. My roommate, on some intoxicated bender, texts this guy and tells him that he needs to let me know if he has feelings for me or not. I was furious. My roommate guiltily confessed this to me the following morning. He told my roommate that he is not single and that he is not at all interested in me. He does say, however, that “we would have been the perfect match”; something that he probably shouldn’t have said but it is not something that I will contest. What my roommate did was a gross violation of my boundaries, of course I’m upset. However, in a way, it almost needed to happen. A few days later, I reply to his story about some other restaurant, and he says that his bf/friend (the word is ambiguous in our language) recommended it to him. I ask him if he has a boyfriend and he clears it up then and there. It was after this interaction that my crush dissipated. Knowing that he wasn’t interested in me really helped with me moving onto other guys.
Over the following months, we speak every now and then. When we spoke, the conversations would not end. The kind of conversations where you know that you have to go to bed, so you wished the other person goodnight, yet there you are talking about fucking Ligeti 50 minutes later. Anyways, while I was supposed to working on a philosophy assignment, I told him that I USED to have a crush on him, but I was firm on the fact that I no longer did. I told him the “date” story as a funny anecdote. He had no clue that I ever liked him like that at any point. The conversation got a little awkward, but he told me that he really loves his boyfriend, but that he “does not forget”. He tells me that we would have been a perfect match. Funny.
A little while after, he invites me to one of his concerts at the museum. There, I meet his mother and grandparents. Also, his boyfriend. The concert was great, and the three of us chat for a while afterwards. Unfortunately, he has to leave, but he suggests that I tour the museum with his boyfriend, so his boyfriend and I tour the museum together. Interesting experience. Something important to know: I don’t have the best impression of his boyfriend. Their relationship is (was???) an open relationship and it felt like this guy really had to convince him to join his polyamory, based on what he told me in their conversations. Also, they were apparently on a break at one point earlier in the year because my friend’s mental/physical health was really bad, so to me it seems as though his boyfriend abandoned him in his time of need because the relationship “got hard”, so I already don’t have the best impression of him based on what my friend has told me. Anyways, I honestly thought that his bf was flirting with me??? (I guess he is allowed to because it’s an open relationship, but still…).
Fast forward the following month: we were supposed to see a concert together but something bad happened so he couldn’t attend. I end up buying him a CD which I had signed because this is a very famous pianist who just happened to visit our city. For like 3 months, we didn’t see each other, but I reminded him regularly that I had a specially-signed CD to give him. He has classes next to my apartment sometimes, but we can’t seem to get our schedules to fit…. until the end of February.
He has this class thing where you can invite people to watch you play and get critiqued, which he invited me to! After watching him play, I greet him outside the room and one of his colleagues. Let’s call her F. We all chat a little and I give him his disk. Literally such a mundane interaction.
BUT THEN THREE DAYS LATER, he texts me that he is very sorry, but that we have to cut contact. He has been dishonest toward himself and toward his boyfriend, because he has a crush on me. He doesn’t WANT to have a crush on me. And look, I get it. His relationship is important and he is putting the guy he loves first. You can’t control how you feel about people, but you CAN control what you do about it. So I get it. Wouldn’t I do the same? I told him to promise me that he wouldn’t forget about me completely. I screamed “what the actual fuck” multiple times because I didn’t know how to process this. This is definitely not an event I expected to have in 2024… The only links we have in common are now: we have each other’s phone numbers, we are Facebook friends, and I am friends with F on Facebook because she also happens to be in my programme at uni. But we have not spoken. Not a single word between us since February 24th. I respect his decision, so I will not speak to him.
This guy occupied my mind rent-free. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Frustrating because when he told me that he wasn’t interested back in August, that was enough to help me move on. And all of a sudden, my mind can’t let go of the fact that this guy has a crush on me. This guy, whom my type is kind of based on honestly. Middle of March rolls by, and I meet F (his colleague) again at an event hosted by our programme. We all got drunk, especially me 🤦🏻♂️. And of course, being drunk, you have a tendency to bring down your inhibitions. We’re on the bus and she asks me how I know the friend. I tell her it’s a long story, but that I can’t speak to him anymore. I say that “he’s soooo dramatic”. She asks me to explain further, but I tell her that I can’t.
The next day, I felt like an idiot!!! Wow. I almost told her what happened. I don’t need that spreading around his school. I saw a uni therapist at the beginning of April, which didn’t really help much. Every time I took the bus, I would check to see if he too was on the bus. Never was.
BUT THEN, I met someone new. We’ll call him T. T has been successful in getting my mind off of the friend. It’s quite recent, but we’re seeing each other and it’s moving along smoothly. Beginning of May, I barely think about the friend anymore. I have a new guy in my thoughts and I’m very happy about it. So T and I go to see a concert together. Guess who just had to be doing a pre-concert in the waiting hall. The violinist friend. T and I are walking up the stairs and all of a sudden the violinist and I made eye-contact and I basically just had a hot flash. I had not seen this guy since February… And I seriously had to make eye-contact with him while I’m on a date with T???
I feel like my progress is ruined. Ever since I saw him at the concert hall, he is on my mind again. I keep checking his Facebook. I can’t listen to my favourite music without thinking about him. But I refuse to give up the music that feeds my soul just because he likes the same stuff. I feel awful toward T, because I have another guy in my thoughts.
All I know is that this person is special. I have known this for years and he is not someone I could accept never having in my life again. He has never forsaken me. I have a deep desire to share my life with him and to be apart of his, and I am perfectly okay with it being platonic. I just don’t know how I’m supposed to live my life without it being a soap opera.
2024.05.17 11:11 AdVisual4404 Who else can not follow routines?
I am a M26 awaiting diagnosis and I seem to not be able to follow routines/schedules/programs, or just confused about the topic in general.
I am not really sure how to formulate my problem so this may be more of a rant but here it goes. If I decide to create and follow a routine of some sort, lets say a workout program or a daily schedule. I become extremely inflexible and feel "restricted and locked". If I create for example a workout schedule, I will ALWAYS start to question everything about it. "Why pick this exercise before this one?" "Why not work these muscles 3 times a week" "What if I travel and dont have access to a gym that day?" "What if this leads to overtraining?" "What if I dont want to start with Cardio one session?" and I end up trying to rearrange and organize every little detail to an obsessive level, but then I just end up feeling like there is no perfect Program or schedule and one is better off without one. It just seem to create this terrible never ending dialogue in my head of me THINKING about the damn routine over and over, eventually generating a meltdown. "Why not this order?" "Why not workout in the morning instead of night?" and I always end up deleting whatever schedule I wrote because "there is no Perfect way to organize things". I guess the alternative way to live is to do things spontaneous and impulsive, intuition living? There is alot of talk about autism and routines so I thought I could post this here and maybe someone, somehow can enlighten me?
I do seem to do the same activities over and over again in a repetetive/similair manner, but I dont want to do schedule them?
submitted by AdVisual4404 to autism [link] [comments]
I am not really sure how to formulate my problem so this may be more of a rant but here it goes. If I decide to create and follow a routine of some sort, lets say a workout program or a daily schedule. I become extremely inflexible and feel "restricted and locked". If I create for example a workout schedule, I will ALWAYS start to question everything about it. "Why pick this exercise before this one?" "Why not work these muscles 3 times a week" "What if I travel and dont have access to a gym that day?" "What if this leads to overtraining?" "What if I dont want to start with Cardio one session?" and I end up trying to rearrange and organize every little detail to an obsessive level, but then I just end up feeling like there is no perfect Program or schedule and one is better off without one. It just seem to create this terrible never ending dialogue in my head of me THINKING about the damn routine over and over, eventually generating a meltdown. "Why not this order?" "Why not workout in the morning instead of night?" and I always end up deleting whatever schedule I wrote because "there is no Perfect way to organize things". I guess the alternative way to live is to do things spontaneous and impulsive, intuition living? There is alot of talk about autism and routines so I thought I could post this here and maybe someone, somehow can enlighten me?
I do seem to do the same activities over and over again in a repetetive/similair manner, but I dont want to do schedule them?
2024.05.17 11:11 maxikaz19 Does Bitfinex have fees?
Yes, Bitfinex does have fees associated with its services. The platform charges fees for various activities, including trading, deposits, and withdrawals.
For trading, Bitfinex employs a maker-taker fee model. The fees you incur depend on whether you are a maker or a taker in the trade. Makers, who provide liquidity by placing limit orders, generally incur lower fees compared to takers, who remove liquidity by matching existing orders. As of the latest fee schedule, makers can expect fees ranging from 0.1% to 0.0% depending on their 30-day trading volume, while taker fees range from 0.2% to 0.055%. These fees are subject to change, so it's advisable to check Bitfinex's official website for the most current information.
Deposits can also incur fees, though this depends on the method and currency used. For instance, cryptocurrency deposits are usually free, but some exceptions apply, particularly for small amounts. Bank wire deposits typically have a fee of 0.1%, with a minimum of $60.
Withdrawal fees vary significantly based on the currency and method. Cryptocurrency withdrawals often have a fixed fee in the respective currency, for example, 0.0004 BTC for Bitcoin withdrawals. Fiat withdrawals via bank wire transfer usually cost 0.1% of the withdrawal amount, with a minimum fee of $60.
In addition to these, margin funding and borrowing on Bitfinex come with their own set of fees. Lenders earn interest, which is paid by borrowers, and the platform takes a 15% fee on the interest earned.
For the most accurate and updated fee information, visiting the Bitfinex fees page on their official site is recommended.
J0IN THE BEST CRYPT0 EXCHANGE
submitted by maxikaz19 to cryptoQandA [link] [comments]
For trading, Bitfinex employs a maker-taker fee model. The fees you incur depend on whether you are a maker or a taker in the trade. Makers, who provide liquidity by placing limit orders, generally incur lower fees compared to takers, who remove liquidity by matching existing orders. As of the latest fee schedule, makers can expect fees ranging from 0.1% to 0.0% depending on their 30-day trading volume, while taker fees range from 0.2% to 0.055%. These fees are subject to change, so it's advisable to check Bitfinex's official website for the most current information.
Deposits can also incur fees, though this depends on the method and currency used. For instance, cryptocurrency deposits are usually free, but some exceptions apply, particularly for small amounts. Bank wire deposits typically have a fee of 0.1%, with a minimum of $60.
Withdrawal fees vary significantly based on the currency and method. Cryptocurrency withdrawals often have a fixed fee in the respective currency, for example, 0.0004 BTC for Bitcoin withdrawals. Fiat withdrawals via bank wire transfer usually cost 0.1% of the withdrawal amount, with a minimum fee of $60.
In addition to these, margin funding and borrowing on Bitfinex come with their own set of fees. Lenders earn interest, which is paid by borrowers, and the platform takes a 15% fee on the interest earned.
For the most accurate and updated fee information, visiting the Bitfinex fees page on their official site is recommended.
J0IN THE BEST CRYPT0 EXCHANGE
2024.05.17 11:08 Yurii_S_Kh Genoa: Father Giovanni's journey to Orthodoxy
 | Priest John (Giovanni) La Michela submitted by Yurii_S_Kh to SophiaWisdomOfGod [link] [comments] Genoa is an ancient Italian city located on the shores of the Ligurian Sea. The city is known as the largest seaport in Italy. Genoa is famous for its mild climate and wonderful beaches; it is also home to one of the best aquariums in Europe. Genoese, as well as other Italians, mainly profess Catholicism. Orthodoxy in Genoa is represented by churches of three jurisdictions: Ecumenical, Romanian, and Moscow Patriarchates. The most numerous church (as almost everywhere in Italy) - Romanian. The church of the Ecumenical Patriarchate is attended mostly by local Greeks (and the Greek church in Genoa is the first by date of foundation). The Church of the Moscow Patriarchate is the most multinational and, apparently, the most missionary. The abbot of the church, Archpriest John (Giovanni) La Michela, is a native Italian who came to Orthodoxy through a difficult spiritual search. Reference. Priest Giovanni La Michela was born in Genoa. He was baptized in Catholicism, but as a teenager he withdrew from the church; for some time he even held atheistic views. He converted to Orthodoxy in 1989. In 2000 he was ordained to the priesthood; since the same year he has been rector of the Church of the Transfiguration in Genoa.Genoa I was able to travel to Genoa from Turin, where I was attending an academic event. In the first half of the day I familiarized myself with the city, and towards evening I went to meet the Batiushka. While Father Giovanni was telling his story, a whole picture of how a Genoese man became an Orthodox priest began to emerge in my mind. It was an amazing picture - how a man born in northern Italy in a Catholic family went from practicing the Roman faith to becoming a priest in the Orthodox Church. Streets of Genoa Giovanni became disillusioned with Catholicism around the age of 12. Moreover, the oppressive emptiness of atheism burst into his soul. It seemed to him that the world was devoid of meaning, but at the same time in the mind of the future priest an idea clearly formed: there is something that gives a person inspiration; there is something that a person lives by. Giovanni began to search for this meaning; he turned to various political teachings, was interested in Eastern religions. He studied, looked closely, but did not get carried away, for he found that beyond a certain line there was nothing, only a spiritual emptiness. Everything was cold and did not warm; everything seemed devoid of true meaning and inspiration. Then the future shepherd came across a work on the history of religions, which also dealt with Christianity. The presentation of the material was quite objective.
Time disappeared, it simply didn't exist. I lived the liturgy. I came before the service - I was afraid of losing the beginning of the service, the beginning of everything....
Genoa. The throne with the relics of St. John the Baptist in the Cathedral of San Lorenzo Even before these events, priest Ambrosius Bozzo had left for the Dominican Republic (in the mid-1990s), so Father John shouldered all the work of parish life. For many years the community prayed in a small room on Via Salita della Seta and only at the end of 2012 moved to St. George's Church, in a space provided by the Catholics. This was done for practical reasons: the number of parishioners far exceeded the capacity of the old church building. For a long time in Genoa were two Orthodox parishes: Russian and Greek. The Church of the Transfiguration of the Lord became a home for Orthodox Christians of various nationalities - Russians, Bulgarians, Poles, Italians. Romanians also went to it, until the opening of the Romanian church in Genoa in 2000. Now the parish is dominated by Ukrainians and Moldovans, there are also Russians, Italians and other nationalities. According to Fr. John, despite the impressive size of the Romanian church, the parishes of the Moscow Patriarchate in Italy play a more significant missionary role.
According to my interlocutor, Italians continue to come to Orthodoxy, and for a variety of reasons. For example, one teacher, Loretta, accepted the true faith thanks to a Georgian student who introduced her to Orthodoxy. Franco, an Italian, learned about Orthodoxy from his Russian friends. Priest Marian (Mario) Selvini (ordained December 2013) learned about Orthodoxy as an apostolic faith from Fr. Ambrosius Bozzo. Mario converted to Orthodoxy in 1992 when he was 19 years old. Today, the parish of the Transfiguration of the Lord is led by native Italians, priests Giovanni and Marian. But at the services, along with Italian, sound Church Slavonic and Romanian languages. Both bishops carry out their ministry in their spare time - the community is not yet able to support the clergy. But the zealous service of the Italian priests, combined with unselfishness and sincere missionary work, allows us to hope for a good future of the parish - even in the conditions of growing secularism and difficult Catholic environment. Sergey Mudrov |
2024.05.17 11:08 eyedle416 Idea: a service that watches Instagram stories instead of you. What do you think?
Hi! I got an idea of a service that could reduce surfing time and make social media usage more thoughtful. The service that checks the Ig stories of your friends and cherrypicks important ones. For example, such a service could filter out casual selfies and scenery photos if they do not interest you, but spotlight special news, for example, achievements, help requests, announcements, etc.
The Instagram content format is what gave me the idea. It is really overwhelming to check stories (and feed) every day. But my followings on Instagram are people I am generally interested in, so I would be happy to stay informed about their life updates. So, "smart filter" for others' media is something that could make life easier without losing touch with people online.
submitted by eyedle416 to nosurf [link] [comments]
The Instagram content format is what gave me the idea. It is really overwhelming to check stories (and feed) every day. But my followings on Instagram are people I am generally interested in, so I would be happy to stay informed about their life updates. So, "smart filter" for others' media is something that could make life easier without losing touch with people online.
2024.05.17 11:05 Best_Technician_7772 My mother in-law is planning my bridal shower
Ever since before my boyfriend had proposed to me, I’ve always told everyone that I don’t want a wedding. It just seemed like an expensive hassle when my only goal was to marry the love of my life. Since then my fiance has shared that it’s his dream to have a big wedding so I learned to love the idea and plan it with him. But less than one month into being engaged, his mom starts asking me about my bridal shower. It caught me off guard as I’m trying to plan a wedding for 280 people, why would I even think about a bridal shower? My mom is mentally and physically disabled and my maid of honor is out of state so I figured I would just skip the whole thing since I had no one to plan it. Then one day I meet my fiance at his mom’s house after he’s had a few beers and he goes “just ask her mom, she won’t care!” So she asks me if she can plan my bridal shower for me. She goes onto say how she knows that no one can do it for me and that I deserve one so she’d love to do it. I told her yes and i genuinely appreciated the offer.
Now this is where it gets weird. The first issue is the prizes. I tell her that there’s this great store nearby that sells gift baskets for cheap and she goes “oh that store stresses me out” so I tell her that it’s no big deal, I go there all the time anyway and I buy a bunch of prizes. She buys a single pickle ball set. I ask her if she wants me to drop the prizes off at her house and she tells me to just leave them at mine until she’s ready for them. And again, I tell her that fine.
Then she chooses the hall and caterer. She asks if I don’t mind, she really wants it close to her mom (my fiancés grandma). It’s a little bit further of a drive for my family, but I agree. It annoyed me a little bit that she thought my finances grandma came before mine for my shower though. Then she asks if her mom can cater because she’d really love it and again I say that’s totally ok if she wants to do it, it’s just going to be a lot of women to cook for
Next my fiance calls me and tells me that he has to run to the store because chicken is on sale and his mom asked him to buy it for the shower. He pays for it all and puts it in our deep freezer.
A little bit later, she’s trying to get in touch with my bridesmaids to make sure the date of the shower works out for everyone. Then they start talking about planning the shower and one of my bridesmaids suggests a cocktail for the shower. My MIL then informs her that the hall she booked doesn’t allow alcohol so it’s a DRY shower. She never talked to me about this at all so I started to get super irritated. At this point we have paid for everything except a single pickleball set and the low fee of renting the hall. Yet I’m sacrificing mimosas at my shower so she can look good for her mom.
She hasn’t come up to me with any ideas for this shower other than the games. If I try to send an idea to her, she just asks me to get a quote. I was even gifted a box of wedding decor and it had a tiered cupcake holder so I sent her a picture and said we can use this and she goes “oh you want cupcakes?” I tell her I love German chocolate and we need a dessert anyway but she can’t figure out how to plan this out so she goes “How many cupcakes does it hold? How many cupcakes do you think we’ll need?” And then sends me a picture of a cupcake that fits with the theme she chose and it isn’t even German chocolate. Again, I am in the middle of planning a wedding I did not want for almost 300 people. It really irked me that she asked to plan this thing but can’t even figure out how to bring cupcakes to a party without me doing it.
Now the shower is three months away and the only thing done is my FULL garage because she still hasn’t taken any of the decor or prizes and it’s already full with decor for my wedding. Gift baskets aren’t made, invites aren’t sent out, a menu hasn’t been discussed, and the only idea discussed on her end is the games and the theme.
I don’t want to be ungrateful and I’m sure other girls would love to plan their bridal shower. But all of this is stuff that I simply don’t want. Yet, we have paid and planned almost all of it. I am DREADING this shower. It feels like it’s more about my MIL being able to tell everyone she planned it instead of actually doing it and none of it is even what I like.
The wedding is killing me. I literally quit my job because it’s becoming so much (we had talked about me quitting after we were married and my fiance can support me financially until I find something else ) you better believe my MIL took me quitting and ran with it. Because last I heard, she was telling my fiance that “it’ll never work out” and implied that I’m a gold digger. And telling the whole family about me.
I’m such a mess about it all and I feel like I’m going crazy. There’s so much more, and I can answer any questions in the comments. Does anyone have any ideas or thoughts?
submitted by Best_Technician_7772 to weddingdrama [link] [comments]
Now this is where it gets weird. The first issue is the prizes. I tell her that there’s this great store nearby that sells gift baskets for cheap and she goes “oh that store stresses me out” so I tell her that it’s no big deal, I go there all the time anyway and I buy a bunch of prizes. She buys a single pickle ball set. I ask her if she wants me to drop the prizes off at her house and she tells me to just leave them at mine until she’s ready for them. And again, I tell her that fine.
Then she chooses the hall and caterer. She asks if I don’t mind, she really wants it close to her mom (my fiancés grandma). It’s a little bit further of a drive for my family, but I agree. It annoyed me a little bit that she thought my finances grandma came before mine for my shower though. Then she asks if her mom can cater because she’d really love it and again I say that’s totally ok if she wants to do it, it’s just going to be a lot of women to cook for
Next my fiance calls me and tells me that he has to run to the store because chicken is on sale and his mom asked him to buy it for the shower. He pays for it all and puts it in our deep freezer.
A little bit later, she’s trying to get in touch with my bridesmaids to make sure the date of the shower works out for everyone. Then they start talking about planning the shower and one of my bridesmaids suggests a cocktail for the shower. My MIL then informs her that the hall she booked doesn’t allow alcohol so it’s a DRY shower. She never talked to me about this at all so I started to get super irritated. At this point we have paid for everything except a single pickleball set and the low fee of renting the hall. Yet I’m sacrificing mimosas at my shower so she can look good for her mom.
She hasn’t come up to me with any ideas for this shower other than the games. If I try to send an idea to her, she just asks me to get a quote. I was even gifted a box of wedding decor and it had a tiered cupcake holder so I sent her a picture and said we can use this and she goes “oh you want cupcakes?” I tell her I love German chocolate and we need a dessert anyway but she can’t figure out how to plan this out so she goes “How many cupcakes does it hold? How many cupcakes do you think we’ll need?” And then sends me a picture of a cupcake that fits with the theme she chose and it isn’t even German chocolate. Again, I am in the middle of planning a wedding I did not want for almost 300 people. It really irked me that she asked to plan this thing but can’t even figure out how to bring cupcakes to a party without me doing it.
Now the shower is three months away and the only thing done is my FULL garage because she still hasn’t taken any of the decor or prizes and it’s already full with decor for my wedding. Gift baskets aren’t made, invites aren’t sent out, a menu hasn’t been discussed, and the only idea discussed on her end is the games and the theme.
I don’t want to be ungrateful and I’m sure other girls would love to plan their bridal shower. But all of this is stuff that I simply don’t want. Yet, we have paid and planned almost all of it. I am DREADING this shower. It feels like it’s more about my MIL being able to tell everyone she planned it instead of actually doing it and none of it is even what I like.
The wedding is killing me. I literally quit my job because it’s becoming so much (we had talked about me quitting after we were married and my fiance can support me financially until I find something else ) you better believe my MIL took me quitting and ran with it. Because last I heard, she was telling my fiance that “it’ll never work out” and implied that I’m a gold digger. And telling the whole family about me.
I’m such a mess about it all and I feel like I’m going crazy. There’s so much more, and I can answer any questions in the comments. Does anyone have any ideas or thoughts?
2024.05.17 11:04 cloroxprincess Calculate and recur by full weeks
Is there a way for ClickUp to calculate the first full week (aka Sunday to Saturday) of a month and have recurrences be based off of these full weeks instead of the days of the week (such as every second Friday)?
This is because my tasks are scheduled by full weeks of the month. So for example in May 2024, since May 1-4 were Wednesday to Saturday, that was not a full week. The first full week of May was May 5 (Saturday) to May 11 (Sunday). In this case, setting ClickUp to recur a task on the first Wednesday of each month would have set it to occur on May 1 which would have not worked for me since I would need it to happen on the first Wednesday of a full week, not just the first Wednesday.
Any solution for this on ClickUp OR anyone know of a different project management app that can do this?
submitted by cloroxprincess to clickup [link] [comments]
This is because my tasks are scheduled by full weeks of the month. So for example in May 2024, since May 1-4 were Wednesday to Saturday, that was not a full week. The first full week of May was May 5 (Saturday) to May 11 (Sunday). In this case, setting ClickUp to recur a task on the first Wednesday of each month would have set it to occur on May 1 which would have not worked for me since I would need it to happen on the first Wednesday of a full week, not just the first Wednesday.
Any solution for this on ClickUp OR anyone know of a different project management app that can do this?
2024.05.17 11:03 Vivid_Music_1451 After a psychiatrist visit I'm confused on what ADHD is.
I told.my psychatrist I suspect some form of ADHD but he said it's unlikely. I told him the truth that I can focus on things like video games or for example reading about something that interests me but I can't so shit like clean my room or study for an exam (dropped from college 3 times already). He said people with ADHD don't have focus to do anything, doesn't matter whether they like it or not. Soemone with ADHD wouldn't be able to sit in a chair for one hour and play his favorite video game without any meds. Is he right?
This completely broke me because this means I won't ever get ADHD meds and I will waste my life away. It's another psychatrist visit. I'm getting prescribed another SSRI that will not work. It's 6th time I'm trying new SSRIs. It always ends up the same. They don't work. I lie in my bed all day and want to kill myself. I quit them and stop seeing a psychatrist and after few months I feel better. I feel closed in a cycle. Like there is no escape. I'm 23 years old without driver license, no college, can't even force myself to get out from the bed to clean my room. It's hell. I don't want to live here.
submitted by Vivid_Music_1451 to ADHD [link] [comments]
This completely broke me because this means I won't ever get ADHD meds and I will waste my life away. It's another psychatrist visit. I'm getting prescribed another SSRI that will not work. It's 6th time I'm trying new SSRIs. It always ends up the same. They don't work. I lie in my bed all day and want to kill myself. I quit them and stop seeing a psychatrist and after few months I feel better. I feel closed in a cycle. Like there is no escape. I'm 23 years old without driver license, no college, can't even force myself to get out from the bed to clean my room. It's hell. I don't want to live here.
2024.05.17 11:02 Apprehensive_Dog5431 Discord Images to OBS/Twitch stream
I've been looking for something like this for a long time and I am astounded and frustrated nobody has made anything like this. I found plenty of people asking for this, but no one actually showed a solution.
I stream with friends on twitch as we are in a discord call, and they will often post pictures in discord, but there was no way for me to easily show the picture on stream without toggling the entire discord window so twitch chat can actually see what we are talking about. What I wanted was some way for it to be automated, at least as much as possible.
Through the use of a custom discord bot, I was able to make something work.
Before I get into how to make this work, let me briefly explain how it works so you can tell if this is something you're willing to do. I will be highlighting all areas you need to fill out. The rest is mostly copy paste.
Discord Bot has reading access to a discord channel of your choice>a code tells the bot to monitor this discord channel for image links and image attachments>Upon detecting a new image, the bot will edit an HTML file somewhere on your computer with the link to the image along with some other things to make it readable for OBS>OBS uses that HTML file as a local browser source.
The only potential issue here that can benefit from some improvements is the source will not properly update unless you hide and then unhide the source. If its already hidden, simply unhiding it will prompt the correct image. (Just be sure the source has "Shutdown source when not visible" enabled, to allow it to update and take less resources while not visible) I simply made this a hotkey to easily toggle the source, however there is a way to create an OBS script that will automatically hide the source after a period of time, and reveal it upon updating, I was unsuccessful in this though.
To get this to work, you will only need to create 2 text files, paste some code, and change 3 lines to match your details so it properly links to the correct channel, bot, files, etc. I will highlight these things so you wont have to go searching.
1. CREATE YOUR DISCORD BOT
-Go to https://discord.com/developers/applications -Hit "New Application" at the top right, accept terms and name it whatever you want. -On the left under Settings/Installation be sure User Install and Guild Install are checked. -Navigate to the "Bot" tab on the left and turn OFF "Public Bot" and turn ON "Message Content Intent" -Head over to the "OAuth2" tab on the left. -Under "OAuth2 URL Generator" You will see a big list of "scopes" All you need is to check "bot" -A new portion will be revealed called "Bot Permissions". For simplicity sake since you can give it "Administrator". If you are concerned about security, you can check off only what would be needed like read messages and maybe read message history. This area you will have to experiment to see what is absolutely needed. -Copy the generated URL and paste it into your browser and select what server you would like to add it to. -Once added it should have all the needed permissions to do its job, but double check roles and default permissions to make sure its not conflicting with anything on your server. -Go back to the "Bot" tab on the left and hit the "Reset Token" button. You will be given a code. (Copy and paste this somewhere for you to refer to later.)
2. PYTHON (DONT PANIC) You barely need to mess with it.
-Head over to https://www.python.org/downloads/ and download the latest version. -When installing, make sure to check the box that says "Add Python X.X to PATH" during the installation process. This ensures that Python is added to your system's PATH environment variable, allowing you to run Python from the command line. (Just stay with me here, its not as bad as it sounds) Otherwise if you don't see this, its fine.
-Open Command Prompt as an administrator.
-Create a new text file and name it "discord_bot.py" (Be sure to change the file extension from .txt to .py) -Right click the file and hit "open with" and select notepad. -Go ahead and paste the following code into the file:
'YOUR BOT TOKEN HERE' 'YOUR CHANNEL ID HERE' -and- 'YOUR TEXT FILE PATH'
-You need to replace these. Refer to your token you saved earlier and paste it in place of YOUR BOT TOKEN HERE. When you replace it, it should still have the (') at each end. Example: TOKEN = 'adnlkn34okln2oinmfdksanf342'
-For the Channel ID, head over to Discord>Settings(cogwheel bottom left)>advanced and turn on Developer Mode. -Head over to the Server where you want OBS to grab from and where you invited the bot. -Right click the text Channel you want OBS to grab pictures from and hit "Copy Channel ID" -Go back to the text file with the code and paste the ID you just copied place of YOUR CHANNEL ID HERE. (again make sure not to delete ' ' in the process.
So far we have the Bot Token and the Channel ID done.
-We need to create another text file. Create one and find a place to save it where you'll remember it. Somewhere like your documents folder will work fine. -Name it whatever you want, but be sure to save it as a .HTML file, rather than a .txt file. (for the sake of the tutorial, lets assume you named it "showimage.html" ) *-*Right click the html file you just made and click properties -Here you can see the file "Location". Go ahead and copy it. -Go back to that discord_bot.py file and replace YOUR TEXT FILE PATH with the address you just copied.
HOWEVER: BE SURE TO ADD EXTRA SLASHES TO THIS. I DONT KNOW WHY BUT ITS NEEDED. Example: TEXT_FILE_PATH = 'C:\\Users\\YOURNAME\\OneDrive\\Desktop'
There. The code is finished so go ahead and save it. Now you need to implement it into OBS
4. OBS BROWSER SOURCE
-Go ahead and open OBS. Go to your desired Scene and create a new Source, and make it a Browser Source. -I made the width and height 600x600, but you can adjust it once we get a picture on screen. -Toggle ON "Local File" and "Shutdown source when not visible" -For the local file, browse your computer for that "showimage.html" file we made earlier and select it.
5. (FINAL) LAUNCH THE BOT
We are almost done. You will have to launch this bot every time you want this image thing to work, so maybe save this last part on a note.
-Type CMD in your start menu on windows. -Right click "Command Prompt" and hit "Run as administrator" -Navigate to where the discord_bot.py file you made was saved. You can do this by typing "cd" followed by the address and hitting enter
Example: cd C:\Users\YOURNAME\OneDrive\Desktop Enter\*
-Then type: python discord_bot.py Enter\*
You should see a few lines of text that say: "Logged in as (whatever your bot name is)"
You're done!
When someone posts a link to an image, or uploads one directly to your desired channel, the bot will create a link for the obs source to refer to, and it should pop up in your scene, assuming its visible. If you still dont see anything, try restarting OBS and or go into the source properties, scroll down, and click the "refresh cache of current page" button at the bottom. Keep in mind the picture will not update unless you force the source to refresh somehow. If you dont want to keep going back to obs to hide/unhide the source to update it, you can set a hotkey to it, create an OBS script, or use a separate program like streamerbot to automate the process to your liking.
This was a huge pain in the ass to do, and I dont want anyone to go through what I did, so I wanted to have it all in a janky guide to get people started. Also I made it so the pictures have a minimum and maximum w/h size so small images arent so darn small, and big ones dont take up so much space. You can adjust this in the .py file, just be sure to close command prompt and start the bot again for the changes to go through.
Please let me know if you guys have any questions or suggestions, and Ill try my best to help/ respond. I hope someone makes use of this and it pops up in search results because I couldnt find anything like this anywhere.
submitted by Apprehensive_Dog5431 to obs [link] [comments]
I stream with friends on twitch as we are in a discord call, and they will often post pictures in discord, but there was no way for me to easily show the picture on stream without toggling the entire discord window so twitch chat can actually see what we are talking about. What I wanted was some way for it to be automated, at least as much as possible.
Through the use of a custom discord bot, I was able to make something work.
Before I get into how to make this work, let me briefly explain how it works so you can tell if this is something you're willing to do. I will be highlighting all areas you need to fill out. The rest is mostly copy paste.
Discord Bot has reading access to a discord channel of your choice>a code tells the bot to monitor this discord channel for image links and image attachments>Upon detecting a new image, the bot will edit an HTML file somewhere on your computer with the link to the image along with some other things to make it readable for OBS>OBS uses that HTML file as a local browser source.
The only potential issue here that can benefit from some improvements is the source will not properly update unless you hide and then unhide the source. If its already hidden, simply unhiding it will prompt the correct image. (Just be sure the source has "Shutdown source when not visible" enabled, to allow it to update and take less resources while not visible) I simply made this a hotkey to easily toggle the source, however there is a way to create an OBS script that will automatically hide the source after a period of time, and reveal it upon updating, I was unsuccessful in this though.
To get this to work, you will only need to create 2 text files, paste some code, and change 3 lines to match your details so it properly links to the correct channel, bot, files, etc. I will highlight these things so you wont have to go searching.
1. CREATE YOUR DISCORD BOT
-Go to https://discord.com/developers/applications -Hit "New Application" at the top right, accept terms and name it whatever you want. -On the left under Settings/Installation be sure User Install and Guild Install are checked. -Navigate to the "Bot" tab on the left and turn OFF "Public Bot" and turn ON "Message Content Intent" -Head over to the "OAuth2" tab on the left. -Under "OAuth2 URL Generator" You will see a big list of "scopes" All you need is to check "bot" -A new portion will be revealed called "Bot Permissions". For simplicity sake since you can give it "Administrator". If you are concerned about security, you can check off only what would be needed like read messages and maybe read message history. This area you will have to experiment to see what is absolutely needed. -Copy the generated URL and paste it into your browser and select what server you would like to add it to. -Once added it should have all the needed permissions to do its job, but double check roles and default permissions to make sure its not conflicting with anything on your server. -Go back to the "Bot" tab on the left and hit the "Reset Token" button. You will be given a code. (Copy and paste this somewhere for you to refer to later.)
2. PYTHON (DONT PANIC) You barely need to mess with it.
-Head over to https://www.python.org/downloads/ and download the latest version. -When installing, make sure to check the box that says "Add Python X.X to PATH" during the installation process. This ensures that Python is added to your system's PATH environment variable, allowing you to run Python from the command line. (Just stay with me here, its not as bad as it sounds) Otherwise if you don't see this, its fine.
-Open Command Prompt as an administrator.
- Enter the following command: pip install discord
- That's about it for python.
-Create a new text file and name it "discord_bot.py" (Be sure to change the file extension from .txt to .py) -Right click the file and hit "open with" and select notepad. -Go ahead and paste the following code into the file:
import discord import os import time import re TOKEN = 'YOUR BOT TOKEN HERE' CHANNEL_ID = 'YOUR CHANNEL ID HERE' TEXT_FILE_PATH = 'YOUR TEXT FILE PATH' # Create an instance of discord.Intents intents = discord.Intents.default() intents.messages = True intents.guilds = True intents.message_content = True # Pass intents to the discord.Client() constructor client = discord.Client(intents=intents) # CSS style to limit image dimensions CSS_STYLE = """ """ .event async def on_ready(): print(f'Logged in as {client.user}') .event async def on_message(message): if == int(CHANNEL_ID): print(f'Message received in correct channel: {message.content}') print(f'Attachments: {message.attachments}') if message.attachments or any(re.findall(r'(http[s]?:\/\/[^\s]+(\.jpg\.png\.jpeg))', message.content)): image_url = message.attachments[0].url if message.attachments else re.findall(r'(http[s]?:\/\/[^\s]+(\.jpg\.png\.jpeg))', message.content)[0][0] try: # Generate HTML content with image URL embedded in an ![]()
tag html_content = f""" Show Image {CSS_STYLE} Include CSS style 
""" # Update the HTML file with the generated HTML content with open(TEXT_FILE_PATH, 'w') as file: file.write(html_content) print(f'HTML file updated with image URL: {image_url}') except Exception as e: print(f'Error updating HTML file: {e}') else: print('No attachments or image links found in the message') client.run(TOKEN)message.channel.id -A few lines into the code you will see three lines that read:'YOUR BOT TOKEN HERE' 'YOUR CHANNEL ID HERE' -and- 'YOUR TEXT FILE PATH'
-You need to replace these. Refer to your token you saved earlier and paste it in place of YOUR BOT TOKEN HERE. When you replace it, it should still have the (') at each end. Example: TOKEN = 'adnlkn34okln2oinmfdksanf342'
-For the Channel ID, head over to Discord>Settings(cogwheel bottom left)>advanced and turn on Developer Mode. -Head over to the Server where you want OBS to grab from and where you invited the bot. -Right click the text Channel you want OBS to grab pictures from and hit "Copy Channel ID" -Go back to the text file with the code and paste the ID you just copied place of YOUR CHANNEL ID HERE. (again make sure not to delete ' ' in the process.
So far we have the Bot Token and the Channel ID done.
-We need to create another text file. Create one and find a place to save it where you'll remember it. Somewhere like your documents folder will work fine. -Name it whatever you want, but be sure to save it as a .HTML file, rather than a .txt file. (for the sake of the tutorial, lets assume you named it "showimage.html" ) *-*Right click the html file you just made and click properties -Here you can see the file "Location". Go ahead and copy it. -Go back to that discord_bot.py file and replace YOUR TEXT FILE PATH with the address you just copied.
HOWEVER: BE SURE TO ADD EXTRA SLASHES TO THIS. I DONT KNOW WHY BUT ITS NEEDED. Example: TEXT_FILE_PATH = 'C:\\Users\\YOURNAME\\OneDrive\\Desktop'
There. The code is finished so go ahead and save it. Now you need to implement it into OBS
4. OBS BROWSER SOURCE
-Go ahead and open OBS. Go to your desired Scene and create a new Source, and make it a Browser Source. -I made the width and height 600x600, but you can adjust it once we get a picture on screen. -Toggle ON "Local File" and "Shutdown source when not visible" -For the local file, browse your computer for that "showimage.html" file we made earlier and select it.
5. (FINAL) LAUNCH THE BOT
We are almost done. You will have to launch this bot every time you want this image thing to work, so maybe save this last part on a note.
-Type CMD in your start menu on windows. -Right click "Command Prompt" and hit "Run as administrator" -Navigate to where the discord_bot.py file you made was saved. You can do this by typing "cd" followed by the address and hitting enter
Example: cd C:\Users\YOURNAME\OneDrive\Desktop Enter\*
-Then type: python discord_bot.py Enter\*
You should see a few lines of text that say: "Logged in as (whatever your bot name is)"
You're done!
When someone posts a link to an image, or uploads one directly to your desired channel, the bot will create a link for the obs source to refer to, and it should pop up in your scene, assuming its visible. If you still dont see anything, try restarting OBS and or go into the source properties, scroll down, and click the "refresh cache of current page" button at the bottom. Keep in mind the picture will not update unless you force the source to refresh somehow. If you dont want to keep going back to obs to hide/unhide the source to update it, you can set a hotkey to it, create an OBS script, or use a separate program like streamerbot to automate the process to your liking.
This was a huge pain in the ass to do, and I dont want anyone to go through what I did, so I wanted to have it all in a janky guide to get people started. Also I made it so the pictures have a minimum and maximum w/h size so small images arent so darn small, and big ones dont take up so much space. You can adjust this in the .py file, just be sure to close command prompt and start the bot again for the changes to go through.
Please let me know if you guys have any questions or suggestions, and Ill try my best to help/ respond. I hope someone makes use of this and it pops up in search results because I couldnt find anything like this anywhere.
2024.05.17 11:00 AutoModerator May 17, 2024 - Weekly FAQ and Beginner Q&A Thread If you are new to Neville, please post your questions here! How do I manifest X? What does Y mean?
Feel free to ask any type of question on this thread. More importantly, feel free to answer questions that have been asked!
Additionally, please refrain from posting multiple questions in the subreddit, and instead post the question in here. Moderators may remove or lock posts that are asking frequently asked questions.
If you believe you have a question that hasn't been answered, or would like to open a broader discussion that you feel it deserves its own thread, feel free to create an individual post! If you make an individual post, make sure to add as much context as possible, and be sure the question hasn't been answered elsewhere, or the post will be disapproved.
Old Scheduled Q&A Threads
Neville's Basic Manifestation Techniques:
If you want a physical copy of his books, publishers continue publishing new copies of Neville's works. Please check your library, locally owned book store, or search online for Neville's works. If you purchase a new physical copy, we recommend The Power of Imagination: The Neville Goddard Treasury, as it contains all of Neville's books in one volume.
All of Neville’s books and lectures are in the public domain and can be searched online for free, and are included in the Wiki and Sidebar links mentioned previously.
See also: Revision: The Complete Guide
submitted by AutoModerator to NevilleGoddard [link] [comments]
Additionally, please refrain from posting multiple questions in the subreddit, and instead post the question in here. Moderators may remove or lock posts that are asking frequently asked questions.
If you believe you have a question that hasn't been answered, or would like to open a broader discussion that you feel it deserves its own thread, feel free to create an individual post! If you make an individual post, make sure to add as much context as possible, and be sure the question hasn't been answered elsewhere, or the post will be disapproved.
Old Scheduled Q&A Threads
New to Neville's teachings? Start here!
The below links contain essentially the entirety of Neville's teachings.Frequently Asked Questions
Can I manifest xyz?
Yes, anything is possible.How do I manifest xyz?
All manifestations use the same technique(s). To get good simply takes practice and imagination.Neville's Basic Manifestation Techniques:
What scene should I choose?
Any scene which you believe you would encounter after your wish is fulfilled.What should I start reading?
We recommend The Law and The Promise or The Power of Awareness first for beginners. This is because Neville includes several examples and success stories from students, in addition to being lighter on Bible references, which can be off-putting or confusing to beginners.If you want a physical copy of his books, publishers continue publishing new copies of Neville's works. Please check your library, locally owned book store, or search online for Neville's works. If you purchase a new physical copy, we recommend The Power of Imagination: The Neville Goddard Treasury, as it contains all of Neville's books in one volume.
All of Neville’s books and lectures are in the public domain and can be searched online for free, and are included in the Wiki and Sidebar links mentioned previously.
What is an SP?
Specific Person. Usually in reference to a person’s romantic interest or crush. The term was popularized by so-called, self-professed online manifestation coaches and "experts". /NevilleGoddardSP is a dedicated, expert subreddit for that.What is a Mental Diet?
Avoiding negative conversation and media, paying attention to positive conversation and media.What is SATS?
State Akin To Sleep (SATS) refers to the deep state of consciousness during meditation or just before falling asleep. In SATS, the body is relaxed, but control over the mind is retained. It is used to create vivid visualizations in imagination for the purposes of manifesting.After you have decided on the action which implies that your desire has been realized, then sit in your nice comfortable chair or lie flat on your back, close your eyes for the simple reason it helps to induce this state that borders on sleep. The minute you feel this lovely drowsy state, or the feeling of gathered togetherness, wherein you feel- I could move if I wanted to, but I do not want to, I could open my eyes if I wanted to, but I do not want to. When you get that feeling you can be quite sure that you are in the perfect state to pray successfully.
Neville Goddard, 1948 Lecture Series, Lesson 4
What is the Lullaby Method?
In SATS, instead of visualizing, repeat an affirmation to oneself again and again, building the feeling of it being true.What is Revision?
Revision is revising in imagination events that have happened in the past as a way of mitigating their effects in the future.See also: Revision: The Complete Guide
What is Door Slamming/You are in Barbados/Living in the End/State of the Wish Fulfilled?
Closing your mind to any other possibility besides your outcome. Assuming your desire is true and not questioning it.Do we have Free Will?
Yes, and no. It’s complicated. See here.What is "Everyone is You Pushed Out" (EIYPO)?
On a practical level, what you believe is what you get. The world only shows you your own beliefs. On a metaphysical level, we are all the same God interacting with Itself through an infinite number of different points.The whole vast world is no more than man's imagining pushed out. I must qualify that by saying that the world outside of man is dead, but Man is a living soul, and it responds to man, yet man is sound asleep and does not know it. The Lord God placed man in a profound sleep, and as he sleeps the world responds as in a dream, for Man does not know he is asleep, and then he moves from a state of sleep where he is only a living soul to an awakened state where he is a life-giving Spirit. And now he can himself create, for everything is responding to an activity in man which is Imagination. "The eternal body of man is all imagination; that is God himself." (Blake)
Neville Goddard, The Law lecture
What if everything is going wrong? What if I am manifesting the opposite of my desire?
Failure is generally due to a lack of consistent faith or belief in the outcome, not feeling as though it had already happened. However, if the one has consistently been loyal to their faith, then we are reminded that all manifestations have their appointed hour (Hab 2:3). Neville writes about the causes of failure here.What about (my sick mom, my crazy grandpa, the homeless, starving children, etc.)?
In Neville's view, there is one being that is God (who is pure imagination), and has split Itself into infinite smaller forms to undergo a series of good/bad experiences across lifetimes until these smaller pieces realize they are God and reintegrate. The less fortunate are to be helped, not looked down upon, but understanding it is necessary for God to realize Itself (to experience bad and good).What happens after I die? What is The Promise?
Neville’s prophetic vision of an individual’s reintegration with God.Can I manifest multiple things at once?
Yes. Here is Neville's answer regarding how to manifest multiple things from Lessons Q&A:\5. Question: Is it possible to imagine several things at the same time, or should I confine my imagining to one desire?
Answer: Personally I like to confine my imaginal act to a single thought, but that does not mean I will stop there. During the course of a day I may imagine many things, but instead of imagining lots of small things, I would suggest that you imagine something so big it includes all the little things. Instead of imagining wealth, health and friends, imagine being ecstatic. You could not be ecstatic and be in pain. You could not be ecstatic and be threatened with a dispossession notice. You could not be ecstatic if you were not enjoying a full measure of friendship and love.
What would the feeling be like were you ecstatic without knowing what had happened to produce your ecstasy? Reduce the idea of ecstasy to the single sensation, "Isn't it wonderful!" Do not allow the conscious, reasoning mind to ask why, because if it does it will start to look for visible causes, and then the sensation will be lost. Rather, repeat over and over again, "Isn't it wonderful!" Suspend judgment as to what is wonderful. Catch the one sensation of the wonder of it all and things will happen to bear witness to the truth of this sensation. And I promise you, it will include all the little things.
What if I have another question?
Please use Reddit's search feature or post it here in the Q&A thread.2024.05.17 10:59 W1nger_69 KIT CBS MEI
Hello everyone, just got accepted to KIT Carl Benz School Mechanical Engineering International program. As I understood they offered me an indirect admission, so I have to attend PreSemster.
submitted by W1nger_69 to germany [link] [comments]
- Is there is a way to avoid preSemester? Cuz I don’t wanna spend over 5k euros for that + I got invited couple days ago, so I have to apply for visa which takes 3weeks to 3 month. Open a blocked account with 11,208 euros on it. (I kinnda accepted the fact that I cant avoid it, but still, if some1 knows something)
- I am confused on enrollment application. They ask me for a health insurance, “Please fill in whether you are legally insured or exempt. In the case of applicants with legally health insurance, it is mandatory to provide their health insurance number. Please do not enter a health insurance number if you have an exemption.” Is it the same insurance I apply for a visa? Or something else? I also received this in my letter of admission “Present this letter of admission to a German public health insurance company and apply for "Meldegrund 10" for enrollment. The health insurance company will send us the legallcy required confirmation directly in electronic form. Persons with a private health insurance status should contact any public health insurance company to be exempted from compulsory insurance. The notification will be sent directly to KIT” Pls help, I am so confused
- What would you generally say about accommodation? I have heard that it is very hard to get one, so you should apply as soon as possible. I am probably going to apply for a HaDiKo student residence, and hope to get admitted. Is there any tips or reccomendations?
2024.05.17 10:58 DumButFun Please think before you criticise Christopher Alvarez.
like, people need to understand that typical social rules don't apply to a lot of disabled people, you can't hold them up to the same expectations. for example in a relationship between 2 autistic people you may not speak to eachother for 3 days, but you're both perfectly happy. in a typical relationship people would find that insane and rude.
we have not looked at any information about what his cognitive function is, but with a condition like his, it's not wild to speculate that there is some cognitive impairment. he needed help to write an article, that's something that suggests this might be the case.
he may be 26, but he may have neurodevelopmental problems. he could have a functioning age lower than 26 for all we know.
I mean for gods sake he has the heart of a 9month old!
I really hope he isn't getting too stressed. Personally I respect him for using his 10 minutes of fame to draw attention to the struggles of disabled people. i think that's a badass thing to do.
Alvarez sir if you see this i hope you're doing okay
Edit: Mods can we ban the accusing of this disabled man as a pedo with zero evidence in this sub to get rid of the qanon?
submitted by DumButFun to DarkKenny [link] [comments]
we have not looked at any information about what his cognitive function is, but with a condition like his, it's not wild to speculate that there is some cognitive impairment. he needed help to write an article, that's something that suggests this might be the case.
he may be 26, but he may have neurodevelopmental problems. he could have a functioning age lower than 26 for all we know.
I mean for gods sake he has the heart of a 9month old!
I really hope he isn't getting too stressed. Personally I respect him for using his 10 minutes of fame to draw attention to the struggles of disabled people. i think that's a badass thing to do.
Alvarez sir if you see this i hope you're doing okay
Edit: Mods can we ban the accusing of this disabled man as a pedo with zero evidence in this sub to get rid of the qanon?
2024.05.17 10:58 Foreign_Biscotti4975 Hardstuck Immo (help me)
Hey everyone, I have been playing Val since EP 5 act 2 and I’m currently stuck immo 1. I feel like I’ve hit my skill ceiling here. I’ve hit immortal 3 250 rr EP 7 act 3 but it honestly felt like luck. All my opponents feel so much better than me and I genuinely don’t know how to improve. My gains are also cooked I played 6 games yesterday went 3W-3L and was down 18rr on the day. I really do want to hit rad but I don’t understand the skill difference. For example, I que into Prod a lot and slam him constantly but he’s almost radiant now. I’ve played against pros and lots of higher ranked players before and performed great and then I get games with some ascendant players and they dunk on me and it feels like there’s no counter play.
submitted by Foreign_Biscotti4975 to VALORANT [link] [comments]
2024.05.17 10:57 W1nger_69 KIT CBS MEI
Hello everyone, just got accepted to KIT Carl Benz School Mechanical Engineering International program. As I understood they offered me an indirect admission, so I have to attend PreSemster. 1) Is there is a way to avoid preSemester? Cuz I don’t wanna spend over 5k euros for that + I got invited couple days ago, so I have to apply for visa which takes 3weeks to 3 month. Open a blocked account with 11,208 euros on it. (I kinnda accepted the fact that I cant avoid it, but still, if some1 knows something)
2) I am confused on enrollment application. They ask me for a health insurance, “Please fill in whether you are legally insured or exempt. In the case of applicants with legally health insurance, it is mandatory to provide their health insurance number. Please do not enter a health insurance number if you have an exemption.” Is it the same insurance I apply for a visa? Or something else? I also received this in my letter of admission “Present this letter of admission to a German public health insurance company and apply for "Meldegrund 10" for enrollment. The health insurance company will send us the legallcy required confirmation directly in electronic form. Persons with a private health insurance status should contact any public health insurance company to be exempted from compulsory insurance. The notification will be sent directly to KIT” Pls help, I am so confused
3) What would you generally say about accommodation? I have heard that it is very hard to get one, so you should apply as soon as possible. I am probably going to apply for a HaDiKo student residence, and hope to get admitted. Is there any tips or reccomendations?
submitted by W1nger_69 to KaIT [link] [comments]
2) I am confused on enrollment application. They ask me for a health insurance, “Please fill in whether you are legally insured or exempt. In the case of applicants with legally health insurance, it is mandatory to provide their health insurance number. Please do not enter a health insurance number if you have an exemption.” Is it the same insurance I apply for a visa? Or something else? I also received this in my letter of admission “Present this letter of admission to a German public health insurance company and apply for "Meldegrund 10" for enrollment. The health insurance company will send us the legallcy required confirmation directly in electronic form. Persons with a private health insurance status should contact any public health insurance company to be exempted from compulsory insurance. The notification will be sent directly to KIT” Pls help, I am so confused
3) What would you generally say about accommodation? I have heard that it is very hard to get one, so you should apply as soon as possible. I am probably going to apply for a HaDiKo student residence, and hope to get admitted. Is there any tips or reccomendations?
2024.05.17 10:55 chueffen The Revolution Begin With STYLE PROTOCOL
STYLE Protocol is a gaming project,designed as the ultimate gaming party where everyone's invited, the protocol rewards contributions such as community assistance, innovative ideas, and collaborative efforts. This ensures everyone has a chance to join in the excitement and benefits from the shared success.
STYLE Protocol revolutionizes the concept of non-fungible tokens (NFTs) by transforming them into dynamic, 3D assets that transcend the boundaries of individual games and virtual environments. Imagine owning a coveted item in one game and seamlessly deploying it in another, or transforming your favorite NFT into a living, breathing character. With STYLE Protocol, such feats are within reach, ushering in an era of true interoperability in gaming.
Through its meticulously designed infrastructure, STYLE Protocol enables NFTs to become multi-world assets, bridging across various blockchains and virtual realms. This opens up a myriad of opportunities for gamers, including the ability to multiply the value of their prized collectibles across different gaming platforms. For example, a rare in-game item could be rented out as an avatar in another virtual world, unlocking new revenue streams for its owner.
STYLE Protocol is more than just a technological innovation; it's a catalyst for empowerment and innovation within the gaming community. By providing gamers with the tools to transcend boundaries and unlock new realms of creativity, STYLE Protocol empowers individuals to shape their gaming experiences like never before. Whether it's transporting digital assets across virtual worlds or creating personalized avatars with Al assistance, STYLE Protocol enables gamers to explore new frontiers and push the boundaries of what's possible.
Built on the Polkadot network, STYLE Protocol embraces the principles of Web3, championing interoperability and decentralization. By leveraging the capabilities of Polkadot's "blockchain of blockchains," STYLE Protocol ensures compatibility across a wide range of EVM-compatible chains, including Ethereum, Binance Smart Chain, Polygon, and Avalanche. In doing so, it creates a unified gaming ecosystem where digital assets are no longer fragmented but seamlessly interconnected.
As STYLE Protocol continues to evolve, its mission remains clear: to revolutionize the gaming landscape and empower gamers worldwide. With a relentless focus on innovation and interoperability, STYLE Protocol is poised to lead the charge towards a future where gaming knows no bounds. From immersive virtual experiences to novel revenue streams, STYLE Protocol is paving the way for a gaming ecosystem that is as dynamic and diverse as the players who inhabit it.
STYLE Protocol is changing the game - literally! It's tearing down the barriers between different gaming worlds and making it easier for players like you to explore, create, and connect. So get ready to level up vour gaming experience with STYLE Protocol
STYLE Protocol represents a paradigm shift in virtual worlds, offering unparalleled interoperability, utility, and engagement. By bridging platforms and empowering users with decentralized governance and reward mechanisms, it heralds a new era of connectivity and creativity in the digital landscape. As users embark on this transformative journey, the STYLE Protocol invites exploration, innovation, and the redefinition of virtual reality boundaries.
Web https://www.protocol.style/
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STYLE Protocol revolutionizes the concept of non-fungible tokens (NFTs) by transforming them into dynamic, 3D assets that transcend the boundaries of individual games and virtual environments. Imagine owning a coveted item in one game and seamlessly deploying it in another, or transforming your favorite NFT into a living, breathing character. With STYLE Protocol, such feats are within reach, ushering in an era of true interoperability in gaming.
Through its meticulously designed infrastructure, STYLE Protocol enables NFTs to become multi-world assets, bridging across various blockchains and virtual realms. This opens up a myriad of opportunities for gamers, including the ability to multiply the value of their prized collectibles across different gaming platforms. For example, a rare in-game item could be rented out as an avatar in another virtual world, unlocking new revenue streams for its owner.
STYLE Protocol is more than just a technological innovation; it's a catalyst for empowerment and innovation within the gaming community. By providing gamers with the tools to transcend boundaries and unlock new realms of creativity, STYLE Protocol empowers individuals to shape their gaming experiences like never before. Whether it's transporting digital assets across virtual worlds or creating personalized avatars with Al assistance, STYLE Protocol enables gamers to explore new frontiers and push the boundaries of what's possible.
Built on the Polkadot network, STYLE Protocol embraces the principles of Web3, championing interoperability and decentralization. By leveraging the capabilities of Polkadot's "blockchain of blockchains," STYLE Protocol ensures compatibility across a wide range of EVM-compatible chains, including Ethereum, Binance Smart Chain, Polygon, and Avalanche. In doing so, it creates a unified gaming ecosystem where digital assets are no longer fragmented but seamlessly interconnected.
As STYLE Protocol continues to evolve, its mission remains clear: to revolutionize the gaming landscape and empower gamers worldwide. With a relentless focus on innovation and interoperability, STYLE Protocol is poised to lead the charge towards a future where gaming knows no bounds. From immersive virtual experiences to novel revenue streams, STYLE Protocol is paving the way for a gaming ecosystem that is as dynamic and diverse as the players who inhabit it.
STYLE Protocol is changing the game - literally! It's tearing down the barriers between different gaming worlds and making it easier for players like you to explore, create, and connect. So get ready to level up vour gaming experience with STYLE Protocol
STYLE Protocol represents a paradigm shift in virtual worlds, offering unparalleled interoperability, utility, and engagement. By bridging platforms and empowering users with decentralized governance and reward mechanisms, it heralds a new era of connectivity and creativity in the digital landscape. As users embark on this transformative journey, the STYLE Protocol invites exploration, innovation, and the redefinition of virtual reality boundaries.
Web https://www.protocol.style/