3rd week of lent homily, year a

Was given a kousa in a container last year and was finally able to plant it a few weeks ago.
While in the container the top of one of the trunks had started to droop a bit. Now after planting it's gotten worse and both trunks are drooping.
Is this just something to wait out as it establishes itself? Should I use something to support and straighten the top of the trunks?

A bit of context. My (22f) boyfriend (22m) and I got together at the end of 2022, and admittedly it wasn't a great start. This was two years ago and I have learned a lot since then so please don't judge me. He had just joined the hospitality job that I was working at at the time, and we became fast friends. It didn't take long for us to get quite close when I realised that he wasn't bringing his girlfriend up much in conversation. I would try to ask questions about her and he would just give short answers and quickly move on. Eventually, I confronted him about it and he told me that he had fallen out of love with her months ago, but because he had moved across the country for her he didn't have anywhere else to stay if they broke up. I offered my couch, mainly because I had just recently been in a situation where I couldn't leave an abusive relationship for months because of housing issues so I empathised a lot. After he decided that he was going to break up with her, our friendship took a bit of a turn and things became a bit flirty. Please don't hate me for this, I regret it a lot and I feel so horrible for his girlfriend at the time. Anyway, it was all very subtle flirting and at one point I set boundaries about what we were saying because he was still in a relationship and I was uncomfortable with where it was going. He would occasionally push those boundaries, and at one point he said that he hated how much of a 'good person' I was because he wanted to say so much more.
Anyway, we kept those boundaries up until one day he messaged me and asked if I was able to help him move his stuff that night because he was going to break up with his girlfriend. From what I know, he spent all day packing and she came home to boxes and him sitting on the bed waiting for her. They've talked about it since and he regrets how callous this breakup was. Anyway, I swung by, he loaded his stuff into my car, and we left.
He stayed at mine for a bit and spent about two weeks crashing at other people's places before I just offered my place up indefinitely. By that point, he was not sleeping on the couch. We weren't officially together until about two months later but we definitely moved very quickly all things considered.
Anyway, it's been about two years since then. We've lived together the entire time and have both learned a lot about relationships - though we definitely still have room to grow. Overall, we are both very happy and we're in a pretty good spot.
Now some other context, my partner has always had mostly female friends. In most pictures that I've seen of him as a kid he is in a group of girls, and he himself is not extremely masculine by his own admission. However, also by his own admission, he has a flirty personality, and he makes flirty jokes to both men and women. He also struggles to make friends a little bit, so he tends to cling to the ones that he has. Keep these things in mind moving forward.
My feelings of insecurity or jealousy started around mid-last year when he showed me that he had swiped up on a female friend's risky Instagram story of her in lingerie with some sort of flirty joke. It made me feel super icky but I didn't know what to do so I just smiled and said nothing. Then, in October at a Halloween party, we were pairing off for beer pong and he immediately turned to and partnered with that same girl when I was sitting right next to him and turned straight to him. That broke my heart a bit. He went out one-on-one with a female coworker to a cocktail bar after work for drinks, where they both got drunk but she got absolutely wasted so he walked her home. He was also mostly MIA on messages through this event. He's also told me some flirty jokes that he's made to his female coworkers that just give me the ick a bit. All of these situations we've had conversations about and mostly resolved, but I think it's informing the way that I feel now.
Here is my problem. We have a really great relationship and I can see myself spending the rest of my life with him, but I can't shake this feeling of insecurity and jealousy which I can't help but feel like is because of the way that we got together. I can also admit that I am a fairly insecure person and I have pretty low self-confidence which I'm sure is absolutely having an impact on this. It's to a point now where every time he goes out for coffee with a female friend or even just to work I get a twisting feeling in my tummy, and I've had a strong urge to go through his messages. To be completely clear, though, I have not touched his phone or messages, and I have not given him any indication that I am feeling insecure about him just going to work or anything like that. This isn't the kind of person that I am and I feel horrific that I am becoming so jealous.
He has always had female friends, so it is absolutely off the cards for that to just be a boundary, and we've talked about his flirty personality before but it's a hard thing to define and set boundaries around. I genuinely don't think that he is cheating as I don't really think he would have the time, plus our relationship is going well. I'm hoping for genuine advice about either how to approach this or how to check myself. I'd rather not hear "just break up with him".
Thank you for reading!

I am from a third world country, and my family is totally messed up. My parents are extremely poor, dysfunctional, emotionally unstable, toxic, manipulative liars, and we have been suffering from financial hardship since I was born. One thing I don’t understand is why my parents decided to have children when they were already struggling with poverty. Why did they get married and start a family if they couldn't afford it? They take out their daily frustrations on us, and as a result, I am suffering both psychologically and socially due to their neglect and lack of awareness.
I'm dealing with major depressive disorder and anxiety disorder, which affects my day-to-day life and can't afford any treatment. My parents are the root cause of many problems in my life, whether it’s in school, social situations, or other aspects. It feels like they had children just to ensure someone would take care of them in their old age. They are extremely selfish and don't care about their kids, only their retirement plans.
Over the last two weeks, I’ve been thinking about confronting my parents. We haven’t talked for the last four years, and I’m just a 19-year-old guy without a source of income. Despite living with them, I feel the need to speak out against them for the trauma and mental health issues they have caused me. I want to hold them accountable for their irresponsibility and the mistakes they made. Why did they have three kids when they couldn’t even afford a dog? I want to have a lengthy discussion with them, but I’m unsure if I should. I don’t know what the outcome would be; it might turn violent or emotionally hurt them.
I talked about this with a counselor, and she advised against it, saying it could hurt them and further ruin our relationship. She mentioned that I might regret it later in life. I’m really unsure and would like to hear from people about what is right or wrong. Please share your experiences, thoughts and insights on this matter.

I (34F) am getting married next year to a wonderful man. I'm an American living abroad, and we are getting married in his home country where we both reside. Our guests are very dispersed globally, so we've given over a year's notice to our guest list, some of whom are coming from as far as Thailand or the West Coast of the US to celebrate with us. My own family lives about 6,000 miles away, and I need to make decisions fairly soon about invitations to give them enough time to arrange and budget for travel.
I have been estranged from my parents for a very long time, after a childhood where I was violently, emotionally, and psychologically abused by my mother, and my father was largely absent due to his work schedule (he was away from home in excess of 40 weeks per year for the majority of my childhood). My mother was never particularly kind to me, but the worst of the abuse was when my father was away and so he never saw or likely knew the full extent of it at the time. I think it's important to note that the abuse I'm talking about is not "borderline" or covered by "we tried our best" - it likely rose to the level of criminal abuse and should have been reported to CPS. The physical abuse stopped only when I threatened to hit her back as a teenager, but of course she remained narcissistic and emotionally cruel for years.
We had a tumultuous relationship through my early adulthood until I finally cut contact with her about 10 years ago. I tried to explain to my father that our conflict goes beyond normal mothedaughter friction and over several conversations was finally explicit with him about how abusive and violent she was. He has consistently pleaded with me to reconcile, forgive, move on, and told me how much he believes she loves me. He has apologised and passed along her apologies in fairly vague terms - "I'm sorry for how hurt you are" "I'm sorry I was not there for you and your mother when you needed me", etc., but never a real acknowledgment of how bad it was and that it was wrong, full stop. He has generally adopted a view that he believes I am holding on to anger in an unhealthy way.
I have tried several times over the intervening decade to reconcile with my dad, setting a condition of our contact that he not ask me to have a relationship with my mom. Without fail, every time we have been in touch, he eventually brings it up. Finally, almost two years ago I broke contact for the last time and said that I could not have a relationship with him until he gets professional help to understand why it hurts me when he consistently does this. He has not - and as far as I am aware, he has never even discussed the abuse with my mother (I have asked).
As a consequence of this, I lost touch with all of my other family as well - my father's siblings, my aunts and uncles, and their kids - many of whom I was very close with as a child. I didn't know how to explain the rupture with my parents and didn't want to "air dirty laundry" by explaining, especially as I hoped for a very long time my parents would seek professional help and try to repair our relationship. I was ashamed, thought that I was a bad person, and felt incredible guilt for being a poor member of the family. I missed weddings, holidays, and most shamefully ignored attempts from some of them to reach out to me because I dreaded explaining why I was not in touch with my parents.
After a lot of therapy, I've slowly gotten back in touch with some of my family and it is incredible how much I missed them. I have explained the gruesome details behind the estrangement only to one aunt and uncle, but have expressed remorse to the others for not being in touch. I have a lot more family members I'd like to get back in touch with and would love to see at the wedding.
I want to send all my cousins and aunts and uncles invitations and a note that says more or less "sorry for dropping off the face of the earth for a decade, I had some issues with my parents I didn't know how to handle, but I miss you and would love to see you if you'd like to come celebrate."
The problem is this feels...selfish of me. I haven't spoken to many of them in so long, and now I will invite all of them but not my parents - my dad will surely find out, and I know how much this will devastate him to miss his only daughter's wedding. But I cannot stand the thought of reaching out to him again only to be implored to reconcile with my mother, or hear more admonishments from him about the importance of forgiveness for family. The thought of not having him there is incredibly painful for me - missing him walk me down the aisle, or a father daughter dance...many of the things I've wanted since I was young and important parts of a wedding. The whole family will now also know to some extent that something has happened with my parents, and I am sure that it will come out (or I will tell people) exactly what has happened. I feel like I will be rubbing it in my parents' faces that they were not invited if the rest of my entire family is.
Am I the asshole for inviting my whole family who will see my parents are not in attendance? Am I the asshole for being unwilling to try again with my father? Or should I just invite none of them and let sleeping dogs lie?

I am a bsc 3rd year student. Confused about government jobs and research. I had zero interest in pcb but had to take due to parents. Now I am just stuck....can someone please guide me. Thinking about IIT jam , tifr gs , bioinformatics , MSc chemistry . I am ready to do anything which has greater scope , instead of interest.

First I want to apologize for the long post that you're about to read but I'm really losing my sanity at this point.
I (f 21) was dating a guy (20) for about two months, he was a virgin and I was his first ever , everything was going so so well , we are very compatible and I really liked him a lot and still do like him , he also liked me a lot , until..
Before we had sex for the first and last time ever he had talked to me about STDs and I told him that he has nothing to worry about because I have never had an STD , so two weeks later we have unprotected sex , and it was really really good , ten days later he started experiencing some symptoms like a burning sensation when he pees , white or clear discharge, his penis was red and swollen, and he was going crazy and he was very very anxious and scared (rightfully so) he went to a doctor and the doctor told him that it's probably gonorrhea and he told him to start with the medication that he prescribed to him after he got a test , the test came back negative, and I also did all the STDs tests and all of them came back negative as well . (For the record we are syrians and we live in syria , so we are very tight on money and the whole process of going to doctors and taking all the std tests was very dangerous because any kind of sexual activity before marriage is not okay here) .
This guy is now convinced that I gave him something and he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore, and he keeps calling me reckless (which I know I am I was diagnosed with BPD 5 years ago but my parents refused to believe it and didn't get me medication or treatment) .
My problem is that I was also too ignorant to believe it (because mental health is not really a thing in Syria) and now I feel like I desperately want him to stay in my life because I didn't do anything wrong, and I feel like my world is collapsing, and I know that I need to go to therapy and get treatment but I don't have any money, therapy is very expensive here and I don't know how to cope anymore, I truly saw something in him , and I feel like shit for losing him as a friend and as a lover , I didn't want things to go that way at all , and I don't know what to do.

So after 12 years with VM at the same property we are moving home…
I looked up the new property address online and was delighted to see we could get the top speed internet etc. so begun the move process.
I received a connection date of 22nd May and was at the property a couple of weeks ago when the VM subcontractor (Svella) attended to investigate as the new property has never had VM before.
He explained that they would need to run a new cable from the point in the main road about 20 meters up our driveway and into the house, he explained this wasn’t an issue and would probably be done a few days before the connection itself and marked out the driveway with green spray paint.
I rang VM yesterday to check everything was still on track as the cable had not yet been installed and they told me the connection had been cancelled because the property was non-serviceable.
I spent around 4 hours on the phone yesterday being bounced around various departments to not get anywhere, being told that I “may as well go to another service provider as this won’t be resolved in the next 12 months” as it is not financially viable for VM to install the cable to our new property.
Is there anything I can do? Any advice on alternative approaches? I am willing to consider anything as the only other options are 60mb broadband packages which may not meet our needs…

It was the relationship that broke me. I was the 3rd-party. Engaged sila when we met.
I did know na sila, and yes, alam ko super masama. Pero don't worry na-karma ako ng MALALA.
The whole relationship was a series of heartbreaks.
She would disappear on me days or weeks at a time. Then come back to me telling me she loves me. And I would believe her.
Umabot sa point na kami na nung guy ang nagpapili sakanya kung sino samin kasi parehas niya kaming ginag@go.
Initially pinili niya ko. It was 3 days before Christmas. And since ako na nga ang pinili, we decided to meet for Christmas eve and have dinner at 8PM.
That day, I arrived at the location (meet-up lang sa gilid ng Riverbanks) an hour early. Flowers in hand, gifts sa bag. Handwritten letter. All the works.
Then 8PM arrived, 9PM, 11PM, 1AM. 3AM. Nakaupo ako sa gutter umaasa na late lang siya. Hanggang sa na-realize ko nag-pasko na ko sa gutter. Hahaha P*ta.
First week na ng January nung nakausap ko siya uli. Biglang dumating sa bahay.
Apparently they had sex that night. Pero tinanggap ko parin. Hahaha Tnga tanga ate mo!
After a month, nalaman ko nabuntis siya. Lol Based sa due date, mukhang yung gabing hinihintay ko siya gutter, busyng busy sila. Haha
We broke up ng totoo after ko malaman na buntis nga siya.
What's more f*cked up was after 3 years, I found out she named the kid after me (my full first name). WTH! Lol
This happened 9 years ago. After the relationship, I rebuilt myself and 3 years later, I would meet the love of my life, my now fiance.
I have no ill feelings towards her or what happened anymore. Natatawa lang ako sa katangahan ko nung bata ako. I was emotionally and psychologically abused. Karma is real people.

So i’m an ICU nurse but wanted a side job to replace amazon flex. i have been a waitress for several years prior to nursing and was successful (at applebees, buffalo wild wings, and AMC theater) so i was honestly very excited to get back into it.
my training shifts that were from 11a-4p seemed promising. I had to give the tips to the server training me of course but tips ranged from $10-25 per table consistently for the morning shift. with that i was expecting to be making, at minmum, $100 per shift.
fast forward to now, i've been in the high top/bar section during the evening happy hour on week days and it really hasn’t been worth my time. for the past few nights i’ve been coming home with $50-70. i’m convinced it’s my personality… it has to be? i am on the spectrum so i know i can sound monotoned and flat at times. i try my best to laugh at dad jokes, i always smile, but i can feel that im awkward and normal people pick up on that, i suppose.
mother’s day was the worst. long wait times & a few kitchen errors, angry moms, came home with $65 after seven hours. cried.
so now i’m debating quitting because i’m not driving anywhere to make under $18 an hour. i have my first solo brunch shift scheduled for today & i’m excited to see how it goes but if im still making $50-70 then i’ll know it’s definitely something off putting about me.
i’ve noticed happy hour attracts people who are pressed for cash, i had a very nice mom and daughter yesterday who i had an amazing conversation with & she was honest with me and said she can’t afford to tip. yesterday i also had 3 tables of foreigners (i made the rookie mistake of accepting someone’s request to transfer the table to me) and got $0 each time. the server who transferred the table to me told me they had a caste system and it was on their culture to treat servers poorly and not tip. so idk.
overall so far CCF just doesn’t have the crowd that i expected i’m hoping my morning shift today will be better.
i’m yapping this much because i’m wondering does anyone have a similar experience to mine? is anyone here on the spectrum? and most importantly, should i hang in there or just quit?

This isn’t a question of what to do ( find a new one) but how to handle this. My stylist is relatively new ( less than 4 years in the business ) and four months ago I made an appointment for my wedding day to have my and my daughter’s hair done. She suddenly texted me the other day ( the wedding is 2 weeks out) and says she’s going to be out of town that day for a friends wedding and can’t do my appointment. I basically just responded with “ oh” because I didn’t know what to say without sounding really mean.
Is there a correct way to say “ this is really unacceptable and you’re going to tank your career at this rate?” Or should I just say nothing and move on.

Ok so I've be replaying Death Stranding PS4 on a 2nd PSN Account
And have noticed that the roads are not degrading.... When I originally played the game a couple years ago I would have to go round repairing all the roads every 2 to 3 days of play time.
Now I've not had to repair a single section in weeks and the roads show no sign of wear what so ever.
So either other online players are repairing them before they even show signs of degrading (Which I find unlikely) or They patched the game so roads no longer degrade?
Only other thing I can think of is my Game is Glitched...
Anyone else notice this?

I got banned a week ago for „usage of third party programs”. I have never used any and i said so in the ticket i subbmited. The ticket was answered by bot and i got no response after. I tried to log into support site and i just could not because some error popped every time i tried to log in. I used my friend account to log into support site and created another ticket where i explained everything. I finally got response from human employee and they just pretty much said: nah the ban is accurate and you wont bet unbanned. I don’t know what to do now. I played on that acc for 5 years and spent like 400$ on skins, sent drawings to support cuz i needed 4 RP for skin and the thing that hurts me the most: i had every champion unlocked and so much shards that i could get like 10 next champs on release day. Im putting some screenshots of my opgg and support responses.

hi reddit, mtf here on hormones for a few years and I'm pretty scared.
I ran out of cypro, my T blocker, yesterday and the brand recently stopped making it. I tried telling my endo about it a week ago but he didn't answer my emails, and when I tried calling yesterday and today it's always outside of the hours. Now he's closed until monday and I'm out of blockers. I still have estradiol though.
Should I call their emergency number (not even sure they can do anything), or can I wait? If I wait it will be 4 days without it, assuming I get a prescription the day of. I thought about going to the pharmacy asking for a replacement but I doubt they can do anything either.
Does anyone have experience stopping blockers for a short amount of time? I sometimes forget a day or two but never that long..

Unless there is a catalyst on the way (which I am not hopeful for because NONE of the raid weapons outside of returning ones have catalyst (legends of acrius you anomaly you.) or there is another buff coming next week, was one k really gonna be that cracked? I think this is the only raid exotic that has been meh since it released. The reserve mess just got fixed finally after 6 years 😭.

Hi All
I'd love to hear from those of you who have been on Sema for 3 months or more with a starting weight between 200-250. How many lbs did you lose in the first 3 months? Did you change your habits?
I am just starting with a sw of 228 (first shot at .5 ml last night). I've been working out for 3 years and lost 85 lbs but had undergone 2 surgeries in the past year - when I had to stop working out I gained back 15 lbs. I've been trying to get back to the routine since the beginning of April but it's been a struggle and I haven't lost anything.
It's been so disheartening knowing I'm too big for the clothes I was so excited to buy last summer (size 14 which I hadn't seen for 10 years). I'm hoping to kickstart weight loss and think seeing the scale start to move will motivate me to fully get back to the workout routine. I'm so frustrated with myself for not being able to after 2 months.
For some added background, my former workout routine was 2 Orange Theory classes and 1-2 yoga claases per week, and then on Saturday morning hit the treadmill and do a mile as fast as possible, then lift some weights (walk/run - I got it under 14 min at one point starting at over 18)
My current workout routine is 1 orange theory class and 1 yoga class per week. I haven't even attempted the mile - I'm afraid it's back at over 18 min again.

okay, so this week I JUST NOW moved my traditional IRA, to my 401k, so I can now do a back door ROTH. How soon can I do it? I know the rule is you don't want to do a back-door-ROTH the same year you had ANYTHING in a traditional IRA. So does that mean I need to wait past 04/15/25 (tax day of NEXT YEAR) before I even think about doing a back door ROTH?
If you have any other strategies I'd love to hear them.
Right now I make about 270k, max out ROTH 401k and HSA. Haven't started a brokerage yet, because I am focusing on paying off house, have a 6 month emergency fund of 30K and slowly getting it to 50K (20% of every pay check goes there)
If you got any advice feel free to let me know!

Sorry I am writing this as I try to fall asleep thus it may be a bit fucked up. I have been experiencing this sharp, shock or stab-like pain in my genitals centralized to my clit or somewhat left side of my labia for the past week. I first noticed it in the morning moving my leg at an awkward angle getting out of bed, it felt similar to an ingrown hair but on my labia. So as the week progressed maybe two days later (Sunday) I was trying to sleep and became increasingly itchy around my genitals, mind you I'd showered and am a fairly hygienic person. It was bot dirty. It was this sharp, stabbing pain that seemed to occur even when nothing was touching it. It seemed to occur whenI flex my kegel muscles. It's been keeping me up at night and interfering with my daily life, walking around, exercising, sitting, etc. What should I do? Does it go away? For reference I've been taking finasteride for years, even prior to testosterone and it has affected my bottom growth; almost none in 2+ yrs in. My dosage has not changed and I am certain it is not an std/i. I have bot noticed any physical appearance changes

Post got deleted.
Am I the Asshole?
I'm gonna keep this brief as there is a lot of details.
When me and my youngest father broke up, he wanted to have contact with his son, AND my son from a previous marriage. And how he had requested to spend more time with his son, but not my own own son, who I have full custody of, which he requested at first?
When the youngest dad and I first broke up, he wanted to see the kids every evening. He used to have them, make them dinner and I would go out. He would used to go through my drawers, bins and house when I wasn't there. One time I actually watched him going through my bins, and then denied he ever did that. Sometimes when I got back home, he would ask what I was doing, even though it was none of his fucking business. So he started making excuses to why he couldn't come and see the kids. He didn't like the fact I have 2 hours of freedom per day. Then we agreed he came 4 nights a week. Which he did for a little bit then again, started making up excuses why he couldn't see the kids. On a Sunday afternoon I used to go and have a nap. He said there should be no reason why I am napping on Sunday afternoons. I said if I want a nap, I'm gonna have a fucking nap. So one afternoon when I took a nap, he waited till I was asleep, then texted me he was taking his own son out, and not my other kid. I didn't respond because A) I was napping B) I'd thought I'd put my kids with someone who was trusted. When I woke up and realised what he did, left a 6 year old autistic kid home alone, I threw him out. He said it wasn't his fault, my kid isn't his kid and never said he wanted to see him (untrue I have messages to say he wanted to see both children) So I lost my shit and told him he is only allowed to see the kids on a Sunday afternoon, supervised. I actually told my landlord's Mrs and she bollocked him for it. He was still denying fault and saying everyone he spoke to saying it was my fault. Just to make me seem like an asshole. He couldn't be bothered to even wish my own son birthday or got him anything. Said wasn't his child and not his fault. Spoken to my landlord again about this, and he even saidhe was a dickhead. (This is relevant later) He wasn't brought up like this as his younger brother's father still sends my youngest son's dad birthday and Christmas money and card. So anyway Sundays were going well, but then I found out when he had the kids, he spent most of his time on his phone, huffed and puffed because the children didn't fit his idealism. Then he started getting excuses to why he couldn't come and some of them were bullshit. (This was the part when I realised he was seeing someone and getting sex was more important than seeing his own child) He then started complaining that he was missing out on seeing them and worried they won't know who he is. I basically told him to grow up, it's his own fault for not showing up. The kids started to much rather be with me and got bored of him within 10 minutes of him visiting. He's complained it's my fault because I wasn't allowing him to see the kids (like wtf)
Anyway, recently he has requested to see his son every other weekend. It hasn't even been 2 years, he's requested change of visitation 4/5/6 times (I've lost count) and still couldn't be bothered to show up, whether it's sickness ( and yes, we live in the same town, and even declared this still saw him working).
My youngest son is a safe guarding risk, (very highly likely of special needs, recent theory is ADHD with low Autism). If his dad can't cope with 3 and a half hours, which he chooses to when to visit, how can he cope with a weekend?
Like I said, there is more to the story, but to help you all visualise it, the path we are going down is coming to these conclusions, either the dad fucks off, or the child to tell him to fuck off, or the contact as it is, and in 5 years time my youngest son, I have put into therapy because he isn't the child that his dad has visualised in his head, and has issues.
So AITA for not letting extra visitation.
Questions are welcome when I get round to answering.

So this happened almost 10 years ago but it still plagues me, so hoping getting it out stops the thoughts going round.
From the age of 13 up to 19, I have been a target of sevral advances from a lot older men, I did often sleep with these people and enjoyed the attention, mostly. However as I got older, being close to the age of the men that I had interactions with (20-30) I realised how fucking sick it was. I also started to process some of the darker incounters that I had, manipulation, pressure, getting me intoxicated.
When I turned 20, I had been seeing a guy casually for a few weeks. When we had sex, I started to cry part way through, this has happened before and since. I apologised profusely, asked to stop, explained it wasn't them but my past.
I was pretty shook, I told them how I felt pressured to do it and I hadn't really wanted to. I apologised again, new it was my own fault for going through with it even though I didn't want to. They got dressed and were about to leave when I asked if I could have a cigarette for once they left so I could calm my nerves, they seemed happy enough to ablige.
I messaged them a few days later asking how they were, they blew up at me, saying that I'd said that they'd r*ped me, but I couldn't have been to upset as "you asked me for a fucking cigarette". I was shocked and just blocked them cause I couldn't deal with more drama. Ever since I wish I had defendes myself and said "I never once used that word, implied that, I was just uncomfortable with what happened"
I am also now petrified that if I do want to report someone for some of the things that have happened to me in the past that this person will come out of the woodwork and say that I have lied about them r*ping me so I'm probably lying again.
Was I an Arsehole to say what I did to them? To block them without explanation?

Me S (f22) and my best friend K (f21) have been friends since 9th grade. we became fast friends and since then we have stuck together. So the problem started when we went to college despite the fact that we were in the same college huge coincidence and had classes in the same building we hardly meet During COVID she broke up with her then boyfriend and had started dating a new guy. I think she cheated but she swore she never did even though she posted about the new guy barely a week after she broke up with her boyfriend of two years. The problem started then. after covid we met up for the first time and when I went her boyfriend was there. I have never meet this guy and she didn't tell me he is coming but was like okay no problem. I can't emphasises how much I don't like this guy first of he was not vaccinated which is fine but the reason he is not vaccinated is not because it could be bad or health reason but because his religion said so. next he has a younger sister and asked him about her he was like she is not allowed to date because she is a girl she needs to come straight home after school she was in class 11 that time. She can't go to friends parties even in restaurants and is not allowed to leave without any male. It would have made sense if we lived in an unsafe place but we don't. When it came to paying the bill I though we will split in three ways because obviously three of us were eating but no we only split it half as she didn't want her boyfriend to pay so I had to pay for his food too. Fastforward three weeks I was at my internship and I got a call from my friend in Singapore to check my bf's snapchat story and I was like it must be funny that she is calling me from Singapore no it was not funny it was rather a video of him pleasuring her. he put that on snapchat my friends was trying to call her but she was not picking up and it had been up for twenty minutes so I called her and she finally picked up after informing she thankfully took it down but I thought she would surely dump him. I mean it takes a lot of steps to post on snapchat she said he was just sending it to himself. I left it there because what more can I say. that is when the real problem started anytime I wanted to hang out he was always their and it was getting really annoying I tried telling her that I just want us to hang out as I wanted to talk about stuff. Her other friends tried making plans but she cancelled everything saying she is busy or sick even when she was posting that she is out with her boyfriend. FFORr 2 years I this was going on I meet with her alone once that was on my birthday but she ditched me early to hang out with and told me to lie to her mom if she called. we were 21 then I said I am not going to lie where you are in school it was fine as we are young and stupid but as adults we need to realise about our own security. she was like fine and left with him.