Pretty much the gist, saw a text from a girl he used to fuck while we were on a break and said that she was free to talk on Wednesday.
I told him that day that he needs to be home on time, I’ll leave work early because I have a night planned for us. We’d watch movies and I’d scratch him to his hearts desire.
Told me Wednesday after work that he’d stay 20 mins late to talk to managers to move him because he’s been having issues with this girl and his ex friend. I knew the truth though. I waited an hour, I called him at least 6 times. No answer, no text.
He gets off at 8:30 and I decide to follow his location at about 9:50? I pull up to his work parking lot and there he is in the car with the bitch.
He says they were just talking so I should the mad.
It’s been 3 days and tonight we talk, I try to talk to him. Tonight was the first night I seen him physically since seeing his stupid ass in the car. He’s all friendly and just not giving me attention. He’s on his phone as I try to talk. I cry, he tells me to get over it and to stop bringing up the whole situation.
I don’t know what to do. I shouldn’t have talked to him again but I just can’t let him go for some reason. Obviously a reason is because I love him and want a future with him. I just don’t understand why he gets so furious and mad when I talk about the situation.
He told me that he didn’t need to give him his full attention while I’m talking to him because we were just talking but I brought up the fact that when I rolled up on him and the girl, he was giving her his full attention and wasn’t on his phone at all because he didn’t answer my calls or even text. He told me I was jealous and I need to get over it. And that their conversation was important that’s why he wasn’t on his phone and that I was just whining.
I really am speechless and I just don’t know what happened to who I loved. He was so cruel. I just don’t know how he can brush off the fact that seeing him in the car has made me sick, physically and it’s been hard to look him in the eyes.
I really need help. I love him and I just don’t want to lose him. I want him to understand.

My friend (26 f) and her fiance (47-50? Not sure M) have been having a lot of relationship issues. She never really sees her friends and it feels a lot like he doesnt want her to have friends, hes pretty useless, probably changed 3 poopy diapers in the span of 2 years and 3 months. He is quite manipulative and standoffish. But im not saying my friend does not have flaws of her own, they obviously have a lot of resentment towards eachother.
On Thursday I went to her house as I havent seen her or bub in months and we had a glass of wine, i am usually good for two glasses and able to drive but her expensive wine was too much for my body and I realised I couldnt drive home after one drink. So she offered for me to sleep over, I have been meaning to do this anyway so that I can learn her buns night routine so i can babysit for her if needed. I said okay because I had work the next morning and wasnt able to afford the 45 minute uber home and back in the morning to get my car. So in the end we decided to just finish the bottle. We were tipsy/semi drunk, i remember the whole night as I am not a light weight, where as she is very skinny and was on her way to drunk but not quite there.
We mainly played with bub (fiance wasnt home until 7pm) and throughout the night we sat downstairs and caught up and chatted. Her bub woke up screaming at about 11:30 do we went up to calm her and put her back to sleep (albiet badly as we were not sober) my friend ended up bring bub to bed with het and fiance and I was heading to bed when I realised we had accidentally switched phones. (Please know i am aware i should not have entered their room without express permission but in sullied mind i thought this is gonna take legit 10 seconds to switch our phone) mine was on her bedside table so, in order not to just randomly walk into theor room i told fiance im just coming in quickly to switch our phones, i placed hers on her charging pad on the bedside table where mine previously was. And crept back out (because bub was in bed sleeping and friend was downstairs doing something idk) then i went to bed.
Got up at 5:30 the next day and left for home and went to work. She was messaging me saying fiance was really mad and was stating I slammed into the room and threw her phone at him being really loud. I doubted myself for a second but thought no, because I remember the whole night, and even if i was black out drunk the worst i would ever do is stumble and maybe talk a little louder then i thoight i was.
I told her to apologise to fiance for me in the case i was loud by accident and for entering the room withoit explicit permission.
On Saturday i had a mutal friend of ours over to play a ages 5 and up riddle game and drink (no way we are gonna be able to do a normal mystery solving game whilst drinking lmao) and we had invited my friend too. She said she really wanted to come but didnt want to upset fiance. We said that in any relationship, why would wanting to spend a night with your friends ve something that would upset him. Its as if he is feeling like having to take care of their child alone, one time, was a huge burden for him, keep in mind she does everything for bub, usually without help.
She said she wanted to come and he responded by saying "fine if you want to leave then im leaving" got dressed and went out to the pub with his mates, leaving her by herself with the bub. So me and other friend said to just cone iver and bring bubba with her, so she did.
Important to know, she takes her ring off at night because its uncomfortable for her to sleep in, he knows this, and it has never been an issue, she had already taken her ring off to bath bub and put her to bed so when she came over she wasnt wearing it. Was a simple mistake. He became irate with her and advised over text that they were done and that she has to move in with her mum and take baby with her. She was obviously very upset but didnt want to reply whilst angry without thinking it through first and he was spam messaging her saying hes packing her stuff and bubs stuff and she has to get out.
Shes now at my house, because her mum and other friend lives over an hour away from bubs daycare. But I absolutely am so happy she and bub is here and safe with me. I would have always offered anyway regardless of distance.
But I am exhausted and she is exhausted and I dont know what to do to help. I am also not used to having a toddler around at all. I am disabled and so I have limitations for caring for a toddler for an extended period of time. She is doing everything herself but i dont want to just sit on the couch while she does everything (unpacking the random assortment of things she needed and stuffed into bags in a hurry and taking care of bub) so i am extremely run down and its been less then 24 hours.
I am not suggesting nor do I want them to leave in any aspect. I was just wondering if anyone has advise.
Fiance also cut off her card, which obviously she uses to buy things for bub and herself to live. I dont make very much money so cannot contribute unfortunately. He said extremely upsetting things like he is not going to pay for her schooling and will send a miniscule amount per month (he is very wealthy and practically convinced friend to be a stay at home mum with no form of income) I said to her that thisnis finacial abuse and if this is serious and sticks then she has a right to an amount that keeps bub in the same level of living conditions she was in whilst together. I dont really want them to get back together to be honest, everyone wants them to split. But this isnthe opposite of the way to do it. And he has money to get a fancy lawyer in the case this goes to family court, whereas she does not.
I am scared that the situation is traumatic for bub and I dont know what I can do to make things better.
This is barely scraping the surface but any advice would be appreciated.
Thank you.

In kindergarten (sorry I'm from singapore so we follow British but if im not wrong its like 5-6 years old) I already accepted Christ into my life. But my mom is a "I hate Christians!!" kind of person so I didnt dare to tell her anything. I didn't really have a good relationship with my mom cos to her studies are everything and she made me (until now) think that I'm never good enough. And I was only in primary school thinking my mom doesn't like me. I'm worthless, I want to kms. I made plans to grab the knife from the kitchen, jump off and things like that. Eventually I resulted to scratching my own skin cos I feel most pain when it's right at the nerve uk.
My whole life was until the end of primary school (12) was only to do things to make my mom happy. I wouldn't mention a word about Christianity to her. And when my mom was out at night, me, my dad and my sisters would worship. The moment the door opens, I scramble into the room. This also make me walk far from God and I would curse, swear and stuff. One day in P6, the last year of primary school (12 years old) I thought "Hey, I'm Christian so why am I swearing? Isn't this a sin?" So I stopped cursing. Of course, my mom wouldn't want me going around cursing but I didn't really do it for her, but rather for God. But I still didn't want to tell her about it.
When I graduated from Primary school, in Secondary (Sec) school, I finally got to bring my phone to school (13 years old), but my mom still could track me. Anyways I got to listen to some worship songs my dad sent to me and because I didn't have a music player downloaded and wasn't allowed to download any apps, I would listen through the WhatsApp audio player thing😭😭 on the way home. Usually on Sundays whene my mom isn't home,my dad would bring me to church. Then of course my mom would find out and scold me and this continued until sec 2 (14).
In Sec 3 (15 years old), I had whole control of my phone so I would listen to worship music on the way home. One day in, my dad brought me to church. My mom saw my location and immediately got mad because she knew where my dad's church is and also because my older sister attends service too and my mom was not happy. Since then, I was afraid to go to church. My mom even cornered me one day and made me promise not to go to church or I can forget calling her my mom. I kept crying that night and never dared to go to church (mind that i dont even cry often).
But towards mid year(?) I just decided ok Imma go to church. She can get angry but it won't really stop me. Because I got to know God through worship songs and now I wanted to know him more.
I regularly started praying in the morning on the way to school. Eventually my prayers became a ritual and dry. I felt no emotion and no pull towards God. Only on days when I was really upset/angry then I would feel Him comforting me. One day I really wanted to be the captain in my CCA (it's like after school activities but still part of school programs) and I didn't get it. I was so upset I cried on the way home because I actually put in so much effort into it. Then I became vice captain so ig that counts.
Anyways I became really upset and got frustrated because I didn't prove myself enough. I had so low expectations of myself, got depressed again, but I couldn't vent it out because I couldn't hurt myself anymore after learning my body is a temple of God. So I got super frustrated. I prayed for guidance decided to free up my Saturdays I went to church. Youth services for Secondary school students were on Saturdays and not Sundays so yeah. Towards like October last year I cleared up my Saturdays so I could go more regularly to church, and my mom was defo not happy AT ALL that I went with my own initiative. She ignored me for several weeks and of course I felt lonely and all buy eventually I felt okay because she doesn't even know me sooooo.
I'm still trying to patch up my relationship with her. Honestly, it's so strained I don't know what to do. I've prayed that she would accept Christ everyday but uhh nothing. This doesn't mean I don't believe in God if not this would not exist
One day I was fellowshipping with my dad. Why we did that is because of a long story that would be saved for another day.
But this is the part where it's important
Previously I had dreams and I shared with my dad because he is more experience in deciphering gifts and stuff (I'm sorry if you don't believe in gifts but I do!) And he told me to pray about it because I somehow knew these dreams had meaning and relation to God. A number of dreams had direct inference to God. I did pray about it, and also asked God along these lines; "God, give me guidance. I have strayed and I know. Lord please let me understand, and let me also be close to You. I want to know You, and I know, I haven't read the word. Lord, motivate me to read the scripture, and while reading let me also understand the dreams I have been having my whole life."
I can't remember what I said exactly. The one 9f the church sermons on one week talked about how God is not far, but we are far. And I felt that that was for me. Then one day my dad said to me and my older sister "I don't care you have to download the Bible rn" so I downloaded it but did nothing with it. Finally, one day I was late for work (yes I worked when I was 15 because I actually want an electric guitar) and it was New Year's Eve. My colleague texted me saying she'd pick me up and I said and quote "Isokkk I walk over" (me) ... "Give me your block" (colleague) "Omd tyyy" (me)
Part of me didn't want her to fetch me because it would be troubling her. But I don't know why I waited and was thinking "bruh I could've reached by now but she's late" but I just waited. I was wearing full white that day. And this woman must've thought I was going to church because it was a Sunday morning.
And she asked "Hello, are you going to church?"
I said "oh no no, I have church at night because it's countdown service. (basically the youth services brought our church service from Saturday 4pm to Sunday 8pm because we wanted to countdown service together)"
She said," Oh! So you're Christian! Do you read the Word often?"
I blushed because so many signs and I haven't read a single word. "No," I was so embarrassed
She continued "I used to be a teacher, a lecturer in a University (if im not wrong) There is a website called 7 minutes with God. It was originally created for Harvard students because they were busy and didn't have time to spend time with God." Then I couldn't hear what she said because she was talking so fast. All I knew was she was summarizing the website and encouraged me to read it.
I read it like on January 2nd this year on the way to school ( I'm 16 this year!!! But not 16 yet because as I said, it's not my birthday yet or anytime soon)
I was so inspired that I kept on reading the Word and devoted mornings to not only prayers (that I allowed God to guide me and not just pray for the sake of praying) but also for reading the Word!
See, when I prayed to have motivation to read the Word more, God gave me the sign THREE TIMES which I did not pick up until the 3rd sign, the lady. The first time during the sermon I was like "Yes God, I will do it!" but did nothing. The second time when my dad asked me to download the app version of the Bible, I said "Yes God, this is the sign!" and did not do anything. I got discouraged because my dad thinks I'm funny and wouldn't take my words seriously omd 😭. But the third time, God literally sent a random woman I don't know and told me to read. And I read, praise God!
this is the part where it relates to the meme
Because when I went to the shower I kept laughing because I thought of this meme. I didn't read the word or get touched because it was a coincidence. So coincidence? I think not! It's a miracle ❤️❤️❤️
I finished Mark and the New Testament, I'm currently at John right now.
Just now, after a meeting with my cell group (a small group for easier prayers etc in church), I was listening to worship music, and my grumpy dad was like "GO AND SHOWER" liek chill brou. So I went to the toilet with my headphones on and sat on the floor and just continued listening to worship music. Then my dad sent in the family group chat (just me, my older sister and him, my mom got mad and left) an article about this man called Patrick Lee/Bezalel. He is a local artist faithful in Christ
But reading halfway I kept crying because I was so touched (again I do no lt cry, but I related so much I cried even though nothing had to do with me, but it was like my mother's story where she had a hard of stone towards God) and then my phone went flat 😐 So I risked it and ran out to get my charger but thank God (like actually) my dad didn't scream like he would. Then I sat at the toilet floor and continued reading. Tears kept flowing down my face because Patrick Bezalel's story was such a miracle, and God kept giving him signs that God existed! And removed the layer of stone that surrounded the man's heart and made it soft and open to God again!
After that I continued worshipping God and was listening to worship music (yes in the toilet because I literally have 0 privacy because none of my parents think I need it). I kept crying because the songs were so related. Can you imagine? It went in this order:
1.Presence,Power,Glory 2.Hosanna 3.Promises 4.Holy Forever
Again, coincidence? I THINK NOT. It was so planned, like it was in my playlist for so long and I haven't really thought much about it. Tears kept streaming down and kept going and through sobs I silently prayed to God
"Oh my dear God you have been so so good to me, and so faithful to me Lord. You have guided me, guided my heart and nothing has gone wrong in Your hands Lord. I've been through the turning point I've prayed for. You have sent people, songs and my family members to come after me to open up to You Lord. Lord, I was having a CG (cell group) meeting and something just touched my heart. I am now sitting on the toilet floor and typing this, because Lord you have made a way to touch my heart, guide me through a prayer that came deep down from inside of me Lord, thank You for providing. Thank You God for the miracles You have did in my life, and all that I prayed for has came through Lord. The turning point I prayed for was when that lady had spoken to me about how to set aside time for You and the Word. Lord let me not forget this incident, this turning point, this miracle Lord. Let me put my trust in You Lord, and let You take my hand and let my life be walking next to You faithfully Lord. Lord I pray that I would not waver, and I would not take my eyes away from You. Even when I am crossing and walking toward You on water in the sea, let my eyes be on You, and the works You have done for me, and not be distracted by the worls around me, but to keep my eyes on You diligently Lord. Lord, I am a sinner, and now, I was, for You have sent Jesus Christ, Your Son, to die on the cross for me. Lord, I believe in You and I want to accept You in my life Lord, no matter what situation I am in. Lord, let people around me see Your love, joy, and faithfulness in me, and not let them see the girl I was before. Let them see change, and the love and desire I have for You, Lord. Let them see Your greatness, Your goodness and You. I thank You for everything You have done, and in Jesus's name, I pray that I will walk faithfully alongside You, and will not fail to continuously pray and worship You God. Thank You Lord for the miracles, for this turning point. Thank You God for guiding me, and let me be the branch that bears fruit, and let me be the branch that has life only through Jesus, Who is the vine, Who the reason I live Lord, Who is the reason I have life. Praise the Lord! Amen!"
This is the first time I prayed for so long and every one word was truly from deep down fron the depths of my heart. I couldn't stop crying. I really couldn't and I can't emphasize more that I don't cry often! Either it hurt me so much or that God moved my heart. This time was tears of joy.
I hope this could inspire someone out there, because in another prayer I prayed for those who needed God, even if I didn't know them.
Pray. Pray and ask God to help you seek Him. One thing I learnt from a sermon is the fervency in your prayers. I didn't mean to add this in but I suddenly saw this note I wrote on 25th February.
Title: fervency in prayer Fervency: being excited about something keen on something
At the heart of revival is the spirit of prayer • pray fervently • pray with faith
"But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed"
To be fervent in prayer is to pray tenaciously despite our struggles
Hopefully this helped someone out there, inspired you and is one of your signs to start giving your life to Him! It is actually proven 1 in 3 people are Christians. Isn't our goal to have this faith to reach all four corners of the world? It could sound impossible in the past, but now there is social media, anyone could read and realize "Hey God is actually with me!"

As the title suggests my S22 Ultra (Freedom Mobile, Ontario Canada) has recently updated to One UI 6.1 and after a few days I have noticed a few things.
First and most noticeable is the extremely fast battery draining. I have always used battery protect (85%) and had no problem getting through my day without NEEDING to plug in. I do plug in in my car for Android auto when driving though. But after the update I find I am forced to plug in or use my wireless charger to make it to bed time.
Second I now see that battery protect is reduced to 80%. I know it is only 5% difference, but with the new massive battery drain why make it worse?
Third my phone app previously used Bixby for call screening when I wanted it. Now it is no longer Bixby but it is called "Text Call" Bixby is no longer available. Unless they moved it somewhere not intuitive. I liked Bixby and it was fairly accurate. Why change it?
Fourth, I was used to the hidden navigation gestures and could swipe up accurately to go home, bring up open apps (left of center) and go back (right of center) but after the update can not get it to work at all. The direction in the settings seems to indicate that it is now a swipe IN from the sides? With the curves of the screen and a robust case (Otterbox) and fat fingers forget it.
I do like some of the new Ai uses and I am sure I will learn more as the days go on. But these are my first thoughts.

Hello,
First of all thanks in advance for any help or advice on this topic. I'm honestly stumped and wanted the community's help and advice on my situation. I'm 24(M) half white, half asian and have some Vietnamese friends. I've always been fascinated and eager to learn more about Vietnamese culture and the language. Fast forward to the end of 2022 - I live in the states and met this amazing Vietnamese woman (27F) at a family business. For reference, her and her family are full Vietnamese and are citizens that have been living here for a few years now.
I met her about a year and a half ago and we've been friends since day one. Over this course of time, we've talked consistently. What started from meeting her at her family business, grew to her adding me on social media and talking through DM's, to getting her phone number. Although we talk almost all the time, we both haven't "hung out" outside of the family business. We've talked about hanging out and we always try but either side always has something that pops up. Between her and I we're both extremely busy, I own my own business, she works for her family, and is a full time university student.
We talk almost every day and I've learned a lot about her, her family, and Vietnamese culture. I've actually met the majority of her family that live here in the states and they seem to really like me. Her and her parents teach me Vietnamese on the side. The family has even talked to me about certain things or congratulated me on accomplishments which means she's mentioned stuff about me to them regularly.
I'm not a stranger to relationships but this particular girl has me so confused and I feel so many mixed signals. She hasn't been in a relationship since high school and is extremely independent. About 70% of the time she texts me/reaches out first, 30% of the time I'm texting or reaching out to her first. Her consistency with texts are so strange because she will rapid fire text me and then randomly continue then conversation almost 24 hours later. To elaborate, sometimes she responds instantly for the entire day/night and sometimes she'll text me a few times within the hour then randomly continue conversation the next day. I know the saying goes like if someone's interested in you, they'll make time for you no matter how busy. I've never encountered this with the women I've dated in the past.
She is super friendly, caring, and very open to talking to me about family issues, stress, future plans etc. Her and I talk a lot about our goals and succeeding in life. She also has stated that she wants to travel with me and her family someday. It's crazy to be so close, keep in constant contact, and know someone so well but never hung out outside of family business.
Aside from the texting thing and hanging out issue, her other mixed signal (which may be just a slight culture difference) is that she refers to me sometimes as "em trai, bro, brother, dude, man, girl." I know that em trai translates to little brother in Vietnamese and I refer to her as Chi (older sister) sometimes too because I was taught that but I'm not sure how to feel about bro or brother lol.
I'm afraid to break the great friendship that we currently have by asking her out but I feel like it's the only way to get a proper answeresponse. I understand she's independent, as am I. I also understand she has priorities, that she needs space, and is very busy with work and focusing on school. I admire her drive and motivation/determination to win in life and her want to be successful.
Questions:
Am I too young for her, is the age gap (24M) vs (27F) uncommon especially in Vietnamese culture?
Does the random inconsistencies with text response times mean she's not interested?
Am I overthinking the brothebro thing?
Is it possible there a cultural gap that I'm overlooking and she's just being friendly?
What else can I do to figure things out?
Thanks so much for your help!

Disclaimer: I don't want unsolicited advice or anyone telling me what to do. I want to know if you relate or have been what I've been through.
I'm in 12 step recovery. Specifically AA. And I've been sober for almost 11 years. About a year and a half ago I found myself in what I didn't know at the time was a very emotionally abusive friendship with another alcoholic who had significantly less time than me. Pretend I'm not a bad guy and take my word for it. I felt gaslighted. When I confronted him about things he was doing that were bothering me, he ghosted me deliberately and blocked my number without warning me. I went crazy after the fact that that happened. And then after that we talked about a month later and he basically said he refuses to believe any narrative where I was victimized by him. And he proceeded to tell me I'm crazy and implied I was delusional because I had a different take on things he was doing that I accused him of. And I just couldn't believe what I was hearing. This dude and I were inseparable best buds in a bromance together and then one day he just decided to be extremely cold, and rather than just admit that he was wrong and sorry he hurt me, he really doubled down on the fact that he had "every right" to ghost me. And it got really out of hand. Bc I went missing and left AA bc I was so heartbroken and upset that someone I was so close to could so thoroughly violate my trust. And so everyone's looking for me and showing up at my house and I'm not there. They all think I either relapsed or killed myself. I didn't. And at one point, unbeknownst to me, a mutual friend of ours gets him to call me. He called and didn't leave a voicemail. I eventually start texting everyone letting them know I'm alright. And I call him and he doesn't answer or text me back for 48 hours so I was pissed bc I thought he was playing games. And so I blow up on him and lose control of my anger and I'm like I know where you live, where you go to meetings, play games with me fucker I dare you to. And the last text I ever got from him was extremely callous, basically trying to make me feel like a bad person for blowing off all my friends for a month, and he basically said he called me to tell me that and then he said bc I threatened him, he'd call the police if I ever contacted him again. And I'm just in absolute shock that the dude I was once sleeping at his house, hanging out with him nonstop, someone I took care of when he was sick. Someone I gave rides to meetings. He was like for a minute there my ride or die. And now he's being so fucking cold as to call the police on me. And ok... Normally I would be like valid, I threatened him. But I've called the cops on his neighbors once before back when we were friends bc they were assaulting one another and he called me a "snitch" and flipped out on me for getting the cops involved bc he was still on probation. So he's a goddamn hypocrite.
And ever since this bullshit happened, I think about it almost at any point where I have idle time in my day. I think about it CONSTANTLY. I want JUSTICE. I want to feel like this douchebag got a dose of karma for acting like the biggest asshole on the planet to me. I want him to lose custody of his child. I want him to relapse and go back to prison. I want him to suffer. And I know for a fact I'm not crazy the way he said I was because so many other ppl including his own mutual friends have heard my side of the story and have had my back saying I didn't deserve that. And not to mention, I've met several men since him that I've had very healthy relationships with and they treat me with respect. Like I have one best friend I can talk to on the phone for 6 hours. We're going to Europe together later this year. I'm going out to Vegas to see him. He's seen me at my very worst when all of this was going on. He tells me he loves me constantly. So I know based on the actions of other people that this guy was a total dirtbag to me.
And like I said, I'm angry, and I'm traumatized and I remember every finite detail as if it happened yesterday. And at times, I find my wheels are just spinning thinking crazy shit like oh I'm gonna go find that fucker and bash his windows in on his car. And I'm constantly thinking about how if there is a God, why haven't I found something out about him like oh he lost his job. Oh he quit school. Oh he did this or did that. But radio silence. And if anything he's outwardly doing "really well" according to some of my friends. And I'm over here just ready to do everything short of killing him. And all day long I think of either the day he reaches out to make amends to me, or the day we bump into each other somewhere and what I'm going to say, and it ranges from emotional to pissed off to violent to this to that. And I'm losing my mind. And I am fully aware of resentment being like drinking poison expecting the other person to die. NONE OF THOSE BULLSHIT SAYINGS HELP!!! I get temporary relief when I'm either hanging out with friends or I get relief when I'm doing something to help someone else out. But I just want serenity. And no. I don't want to forgive him. I don't want to in any way let him back into my life. I'm not interested in making amends for anything at all if there even was anything bc I'm not about to sit there and get manipulated again even if I'm being the better person by admitting where I was wrong.
And I haven't been to an Al Anon meeting in over a year. And I'm scared to go back. I automatically feel like I'm a porcupine ready to shoot my quills out at anyone who personally attacks me, bc the worst part about abusive people is they make us have to constantly defend ourselves and our actions when they don't have to do shit! And lately I've been very seriously thinking once my service position at this one meeting I chair at is up, I'm fucking dipping out of AA for good. I don't need these manipulative people anymore. I've gone through enough hell. I constantly see examples of shady fuckers like him "working the steps" and "calling their sponsosponsee" and all this horse shit, when like that best friend of mine who I'm going to Europe with, he hasn't been to a meeting in over a year and somehow he's the most understanding compassionate person I know but he's "dry" and all of them are "working a spiritual program of action"... Then where the f** is my amends?? And yes, I don't care if that makes me sound entitled. You're lying if you've never felt that way about someone else in your life... I'm just done. Lately I just am so exhausted that I just wanna work and never talk to anyone ever again except for like maybe 3 people. Everyone else can go suck it. Especially him.

A few years ago during that time when I was in high school, me and my ex friend went to different schools, I wanted to go to the same school as her but I couldn't since it was too far.
I told her that I couldn't go to the same school but she told me she was glad I didn't go to the same place as her because if I did, me and her wouldn't be friends at all.
You know the reason why she said that? She said if I went there, other people would take me away from her and that she would hate me which I found that stupid. Fast forward a few years later I had a boyfriend during college (he's now an ex) When I went out to town with my family, she called to me crying (while I was in a resturant) because apparently I've been ghosting her and ignoring her saying I've been too busy to even talk.
During this time I was struggling with my mental health, my relationship and college, She would start arguments with me saying I don't have time for her, not texting back saying I'm drifting away from her. Not to mention she wrote a poem about me(I have the poem on my phone) , I didn't know what to say and she asked you're not mad I wrote a poem about you? You won't sue me right?
And I was like it's fine but in my head it wasn't fine. She would make it about herself, I listened to her constantly complaining and she would trauma dump the past. She brought up the fact I didn't turn up to choir practice while I was getting bullied.
She blamed me for that not the girl who bullied me, not to mention she and the bully were friends on Facebook, the girl who bullied me would talk trash about me to her and she would tell me the horrible things the bully said about me, I was so hurt and betrayed yet I still kept her as a friend.
2 years go by and this was before Covid hit, the day she arrived I took her to my dance practice so she could watch before my day. She complained saying that she's tired, didn't take her meds, telling me she wasted her money to come visit me. I was embarrassed when she was having a tantrum infront of everyone that I had to take her somewhere else.
It felt like a burning iron everytime she complained I was flustered and I felt tired just by listening to her. On the evening the day before my birthday party, there was no food at the house since my mother was busy preparing for my debut. She hasnt eaten food or taken her meds but blamed me again, so we both had to walk to mcdonalds in the evening around 8pm just for her to eat.
The day of my birthday party, everything was going well, I introduced her to my college friends and others but after the party we went back to our rooms getting ready for bed, she asked me why didn't you introduce me to those boys? Why didn't you spend time with me? I didn't know what to say anymore because I was tired genuinely that we didn't talk until morning.
Then after a few days I haven't heard from her, She was talking to one of my guy friends but the thing is she would only talk to me if she had problems with him and would come crying in call and texting me about it. I have been reassuring her every time she had problems with my guy friend and it was tiring, he even mentioned to me she was controlling and bossy and he was right .
I never complained about anything between me and her but she wanted to make problems that I didn't talk to her or wasn't talking to her enough, I gave her space and I gave myself space but she still complained why I didn't message her but I did several times but in other days I wouldn't talk to her because I was scared.
I never talked about my mental problems and my trauma with my SA past to her because she'll make me feel worse and trauma dump and mention the past about me leaving her repeatedly when I was bullied by the same girl she was friends with.
I wanted to cut ties with her but I was afraid that she will get mad at me because she had issues with her behaviour for always getting angry and shouting at me when we get into an argument in call and would blame me.
But I was genuinely afraid at the same time losing my only friend because I had no one else to talk to. After a month or two I was messaging her and she brought up the vaccine topic, during that time she was a student nurse and I didn't really want to talk about it but she insisted telling me I should take the vaccine. If I didn't take it apparently I would affect her "family, friends and patients" but what about me? What am I to her? Me and her live in different cities 1 hr away from each other, so how can I affect them if I live so far away? That doesn't make sense.
She told me If I didn't take it she told me people would think I'm a dirty pest and a scumbag.
I was so done, honestly so done after she posted our private conversation on her private story but apparently she deleted it afterwards just for me to see? Not sure if I believe that. I blocked her on every social media and after that I felt better, the heavy burden I held for so long was gone. I was happier without her.
I never even got birthday gifts from her even when I gave hers every year so I stopped gifting her. I wasted 9 years of friendship and stopped trusting people after that.

Back in 2012, I started the process of leaving my abusive ex husband. While his abuse was mostly verbal and emotional, during the divorce, he got physical.
I had filed for default in the divorce and this set him off. He called the bank and had my bank account frozen and then came to my house to take things. I went in the garage to try and stop him and he hit me in the face. I called the cops and he was arrested. I went down to the court house the next day and got a restraining order.
During this time, child support opened a case. This enraged him even more and he made contact via a third party, claiming I was psychotic. I documented the restraining order violation with a police report and went about my life.
A few weeks later, I was out with the kids on the 4th of July, when I got a call from the Sheriff’s Dept. My ex had called them and claimed I was suicidal. They looked and saw I had a restraining order against him so they were calling to check on me. I told them I was fine and I was out watching fireworks with my kids. They said to have a good night. I thought that was the end of it.
About a month later, I had taken an Ambien, but instead of laying down, I did the dishes. Then I couldn’t remember if I had taken my pill or not, so I took it again, not realizing I had already taken it. I was looking over old messages in my email and found an email from my ex. I felt bad about how things were between us. I texted him, “I’m not gonna bother you anymore. Let’s just try to be amicable from now on.” . I put my phone down and fell asleep.
A short while later, I saw flashlights in my bedroom window. I got up to find the Sheriff’s Dept at my door. I opened the door and they told me that my ex had called them and said I was suicidal. I told them I had a restraining order against him. They asked to come inside and I let them in. A fatal mistake.
I explained that things were very stressful between us and that I had texted him I wasn’t going to bother him anymore and requested that we try to be amicable. I showed them my phone. I told them that I had taken an Ambien and went to bed. They asked to see my pill bottle. I gave it to them. They counted the pills and that’s when it was discovered that I took 2 pills instead of 1. The Sheriff wanted to take me to the hospital to get checked out. I cooperated with them.
They called my ex to come and get the kids, but his phone was off. I had to give them his room mates number. I told the Sheriff, “If he really thought I was suicidal, why would he turn his phone off after calling you out here? He is just harassing me.” They got ahold of him, he came and got the kids and they drove me to the hospital.
The hospital counselor comes and talks to me. I explain that I have a restraining order against the person claiming that I’m suicidal. I took the extra Ambien by mistake. It was an accident. I’m not suicidal. I’m under the care of a therapist as my divorce is very stressful. She refuses to call my therapist and instead places me on a 5150 psych hold. Now I am terrified. I’m being locked away at the request of someone I have a restraining order against.
They put me in an ambulance and ship me two hours away to the looney bin. Because it is Saturday, I didn’t see the psychiatrist until Monday. I spent that two days in utter shock. My abuser made me disappear and he used the Sheriffs to help him do it.
Monday comes. I see the psychiatrist. I explain that I have a restraining order against the person claiming I’m suicidal. The Ambien thing was an accident. My therapist can verify everything. He tells me if my therapist backs my story, he will end the hold and send me home. He calls my therapist. My therapist demands that they release me immediately. Psych tells me he will work on getting me out of here.
I used the phone at the nurses station to check my voicemail. I have a vm from my ex’s attorney saying that my ex filed for sole custody of the kids and the hearing was tomorrow. That’s when it hit me. He had me locked away on a 5150 to get the kids in his possession to file for custody to get out of paying child support. I played the message for the nurse. They got my discharge done and got me out of there within an hour.
I showed up to court the next day. His attorney approached me and asked if I would be willing to sign custody over to my ex. I stared at him until he backed away from me. When they called our case, it turned out the filing fees weren’t paid so the court refused to hear the case. We were rescheduled to the next day.
I left the court house, got a letter from my therapist and copies of all police reports. I came back the next morning and provided everything to the judge. The judge refused to give my ex custody and referred us to mediation. He instructed my ex to return the kids to me immediately. My babies were home that night.
After this incident, I was afraid to pursue the restraining order. If he was able to weaponize the Sheriff’s Dept against me in my own home with a restraining order in place, I would never be safe in this town. I had to find a new plan. I had to find a way to leave town.
6 months later, after giving away everything I owned and moving out of my place, I showed up to the court house on a crisp spring morning where I was granted permission to leave the state of California with my babies. We walked out of the court house, got in the car and drove away. We reached Las Vegas by midnight. That wasn’t our final destination, just the first part of our journey. And that is the story of how I escaped my abuser.

I feel really, really sad right now. And I think it’s because I just feel so alone. I wish I had a partner. I wish I had someone to call. I wish I had someone to say I love you and for them to say it back. I’m 31 and I’ve never had an actual relationship and I’ve been single since high school and I don’t count that relationship because we were children at the time. I also don’t like sex and I suspect that I’m asexual, which makes gay dating 1 million times harder. and I just wish that I had a genuine connection with a person, someone to cuddle with someone to talk to and understand each other. I’d say im a fairly attractive and I never really understood why it was so hard for me to date or to talk to someone consistently for more than a month other the sexual aspect ofcourse.
Dating is frustrating for me. I’ve tried probably every app that’s out there. I don’t have DM’s flooding on Instagram or Facebook. I don’t have DM’s or text messages or people blowing up my phone asking for my attention. I actually am alone and I have been for a very very long time. I’ve lost hope that I would ever find a partner to be honest with you. It just seems so hopeless and my life seems very validating that I’ll forever be alone. It’s just not in my cards.
I guess it doesn’t help that I struggle with clinical depression and ADD. Currently experiencing some mental health issues that I’m trying to work through. So my mood is obvi going to be affected by these things as well.
I’m pretty sure there are some people on here that are going to tell me to focus on myself and to do what’s best for me, but I can assure you that I feel like that’s what I’m doing. I just can’t help with the feel of these feelings of lonelyness. Especially around this hour 😞
Any encouraging words would be great. Thanks for reading

Theres alot to this story but i feel like i could also be overreacting?? I know im sensitive and sometimes selfish but i just need an outside POV since i cant seem to detach myself.
Starting off, one of the girls in my friend group (theres 4) had recently found out her boyfriend was cheating on her. This guy has done so much unbelievable shitty things to her and we all hate how much CONTROL he has over her. Shes not aloud to smoke anymore because he greened out the first time he tried it. He took another girl to prom. And on top of all that he hit her and gave her bruises. To cut it short, we found out she was still texting him. Not only that, he was still coming over and they were still hanging out with each other?? To cut it even shorter, we looked at her location and she was at his house so we told her mom. Some may think this is over reacting but if u SAW THE BRUISES. When she came back she sent us a message saying that she wasnt mad at us, but to stay in our lane and out of her business. She also said that she was the one that cheated first and was basically trying to justify him hitting her. Which is super uncalled for since we are teenage girls and tell each other everything.
So we made this groupchat without her and with her ex bestfriend (she used to be in the group until she moved states but we involved her so she could talk some sense into our friend) we talked ALOT of shit about how our friend was lost and how embarrassing it was for her to still be talking to him. We left the topic alone after that night but then next day at school we all acted like everything was alright. This made me feel SO UNCOMFORTABLE i could not even lock eyes or speak to the friend we were talking shit about. My boyfriend also sits with us during lunch so i was just talking to him the whole time. It made me feel even worse that the other girls in the girl were acting like nothing happened.
This whole thing has left me feeling like i couldnt trust any of them anymore.
Moving on, Ive just always felt like the odd one of the group. Theres this unspoken rule in our group about how we cant hang out with any of the members 1 on 1 because as girls we get jealous i guess. Its hard because me and the other girl used to be best friends and hung out all the time before the group became a thing. But the 2 other girls made her cry when they found out we hung out 1 on 1 so shes been avoiding me everytime i try to make plans so I stopped. I just hate her for actually giving into that rule. its been MONTHS since weve hung out 1 on 1 but recently i found out the 2 other girls made plans without us and were HIDING it from us. I texted the one i was closer with and she apologized and said it was them “trying to get their lick back”. I told her i didnt get it because weve been stopped hanging out and havent even tried it since we found out how they felt about it. Its also weird because me and the other girl that im not so close with had already made party plans on the same day weeks before (we are the only ones who drink so its okay if we hang out to do that)and she was avoiding me when I asked her if the plans were still on. The party ended up getting cancelled so it doesnt even matter anymore.
They also let me go to a concert alone when I practically begged at least 1 of them to go with me (the tickets were only $30). They said they didnt go because they didnt like the music but I spent $75 to go with them to a concert when i hated the music as well. The point is to go together because anything was funner together especially if it was a concert. I ended up going to the concert alone and cried in the bathroom. I left early and got sexually harassed in streets downtown (and i was drunk). Last time I go to a concert alone😭. Can you see why I hate them?
The other day they invited me to starbucks afterschool. At the end of my last hour I rushed to go see them and theyre gone. Im so pissed because the same exact situation has happened before so I call one of them and Im just going off about them not giving me a heads up about going anymore. It makes me feel like the forgotten one.
Theres a couple more situations I can name but these are the main ones. All these little things are adding up and its really overwhelming me and I feel embarrassed to speak on it because of what theyll say. ive told my boyfriend how I feel about it and he said he would hate them too. I cant tell if im just being a big cry baby or if i need to find better friends. its just hard since ive know them for so long.

Ok a little background: I have epilepsy with 99% of my seizures are nocturnal TC but I have had auras while awake and maybe 10 generalized seizures after an aura, over 20 years with epilepsy.
I’ll provide more detail below but my question summarized: has anyone ever had a (unique for them) generalized seizure and lost memories preceding it with no post-ictal period?
The situation: I got evacuated from a hotel during a fire alarm in the middle of the night. I woke up fine and made it downstairs 5 floors all good. Was thinking clearly, texting family and friends complaining about it. I decide to walk a little away from the fire exit where most of the people were huddled together. I texted again.
Next thing I remember I’m deciding to sit on the ground and I’m annoyed because it’s cold. Then I notice there’s a guy asking me if I’m okay. Yeah why? And he told me they found me on the ground and “my eye”. I didn’t feel anything but when I touched my face it was numb and I got blood all over my hand. Turns out I had a broken eye socket which can break the nerve and that side of your face will go numb. Meanwhile I looked around and realized I’m much further away from the crowd than I was before. Actually I’m close to my car. I don’t feel post ictal but something ain’t right. (Thinking pretty clearly actually for having been unconscious with a broken eye socket!) So I look in my cars mirror and it’s bad. Had to go to the hospital and got 11 stitches. Face was numb for months. But as the ambulance is taking me away some guy starts yelling that I broke his mirror on his car. I wasn’t sitting near his car and the guy who helped me up didn’t know what he was talking about either. But the ambulance gave him my phone number. Found out later that he had a broken mirror on his car that was supposedly nearby in the parking lot but it wasn’t near me as far as I remember. And I remember exactly where I was in relation to my car. His wasn’t parked in front of mine. It wasn’t there when I got back from the hospital either.
Later on he admitted there was no blood on the mirror and he didn’t see me there either but he said there was blood on the ground. I don’t think I was there long enough for blood to pool on the ground but I dunno. Based on the texts and police report etc, this all took place in like 3-5 minutes. From me texting family to the ambulance being called on site. So I walked across a big parking lot, something happened, somebody saw me on the ground and walked across the parking lot too, woke me up and called 911.
So it’s a mystery. I made the mistake of mentioning I have epilepsy but that I didn’t feel like I had a seizure. I was brainstorming what could have happened. Another indication I didn’t have a seizure. 🤣 normally after a seizure I’d probably have laid down on the ground and tried to sleep.
The police didn’t investigate because the witness said I said I had epilepsy (apparently that means a seizure happened to them). They wouldn’t go back and try to talk to other witnesses or anything. They would try to look at video footage though but there were no security cameras at the hotel except one on a conference center door. In that footage, he said someone that might be me walked in frame, stop, turn around and start to run off. (Supposedly it’s hard to tell bc it’s low quality video). But it was the right time frame and general location.
I’m just wondering what you all think. A very odd type of seizure? Or was it a mugging in a dark parking lot during a false fire alarm? (Btw there was no fire in the hotel. Someone pulled the alarm)
What I decided was someone was messing with that guys car and I saw them. They popped me in the eye. I collapsed straight down (I didn’t have any other injuries besides the eye. No bruises or scratches). Hotel tried to cover the incident up so I got nowhere further in my investigation.
But a possible but unlikely situation is a new type of seizure for me with no post ictal recovery period that made me fall forward hitting just my left eye socket on a cars mirror and broke it off without any other injury. With amnesia for a few minutes before the seizure took place and it was a very short seizure with a fast recovery.
What’s the consensus? It’s already been a year or two at this point so I don’t care but I figured I’d ask. If that is a feasible seizure situation I’d like to know. Stress and sleep are two of my triggers but I’ve never had a seizure like that before. Oh and there was no warning aura or anything that I remember. Thanks! It’s a good story right!? And if someone is considering a stay in Tigard, OR I don’t recommend Embassy Suites! 🤣

I have been dating my current gf for about 2 years now. Her parents are from India and hae been very strict the entire relationship. Even when the relationship with the parents was cordial, they obsessively called me whenever I was with her like I became their child. On my first day of graduate school, the father called me 9 times while I was attending my first class because she hadn't answered their texts in 30 minutes. Another time, we went on a beach trip and were coming home (2 hours before their set curfew) and he continued to call and tell me to drive faster and get her home immediately. Eventually, the relationship with the parents deteriorated. They didn't want us seeing each other at all anymore but we stayed together and made it about a year without their approval.
Today was my girlfriends graduation and it was outdoors, so it was open to the public. The parents didn't want me there and I was not invited to the dinner planned for after the graduation. However, since it was open to the public and a large crowd, she told me that she wanted me there and I could just sit away from them. I went and tried to stay away from the parents, but apparently the father spotted me walking into the stadium and became angry. There was no confrontation, but apparently he wanted to come up to me and tell me to leave but was prevented from doing so. My girlfriend texted me that he had seen me and said to stay out of sight and just leave after they call her name to avoid any crazy drama. I did and left immediately after her name and hadn't been in contact with anyone (including my gf) since the ceremony.
I was driving back home when my gf's best friend called me and said that she had a seizure and I needed to go to the hospital she was going to. I was shocked since she had no medical history and turned around to head to the hospital immediately. I knew the parents wouldn't would be angry, so I called my gf's older sister to tell her everything I knew and see if she was okay (my gf had been staying out late all night and had been feeling sick all morning). The sister told me not to come because it would only make things worse and the dad took the sisters phone and began to yell at me.
He told me that this was all my fault and I'm causing so much stress and anxiety in her life and that I'm the reason she's in the hospital. He told me to never contact her again and I responded by telling him that "This is not okay. You will not blame me for this and you will not speak to me that way." He hung up the phone a few seconds after i began talking and told him that nothing he was saying was accpetable to me.
After hanging up, he grew more angry and I received several follow up messages about how everything is my fault and that I need to leave her alone. When my gf finally regained consciousness, he yelled at her for being "so naive and irresponsible" and he told her that she is throwing her life away with me. I didn't know what to do and obviously wanted to prioritize her well-being when she reached out to me, but when she told me her dad said I had disrespected him and been very rude, I had to share the full story and send screenshots.
I feel liket this pattern of behavior isn't out of a dislike for me or a new thing... She had warned me that her parents were crazy and strict before, but this is unlike anything I've ever seen before. I think that there are deeper issues to this behavior than I can tell from my perspective, but I just dont know what to do or say about any of this.
I absolutely do not want our relationship to end. I also can't continue to let the parents continue to control everything in her life and treat me how they treat their children.
I dont know if I should have skipped the graduation and just stayed as quiet as possible until her parents arent as big a factor in her life anymore.
I also don't know what to say about his comments blaming me for the seizure and yelling at her when she regained consciousness. What should I do in this situation? Is there anything to do/say about overly controlling/manipulative parents? Please help with how to handle this situation.
TL;DR; : Girlfriends father was angry that I showed up to her graduation and sat alone. She had a seizure after I left and he told me that it was all my fault and to never speak to her again. He had tried to limit our relationship and prevent us from seeing each other in the past and I don't know what to do now. How can I confront this and maintain my relationship with her?

I have been using open phone from past 6-7 month and I was having preety good time, but yesterday I just send 10-15 follow up message to my old clients with whom I was already in touch maybe their bot just detected span texting or what and they just freeze my account, I just want the team to look into it and unfreeze my account as it has a lot of important data in my workspace and alot of important chat and numbers, please just don’t block my account as it will affect my business. My account email is m.saram030888@gmail.com and the Ticket ID is 407257 which I got after replying to that email..

openphone #openphonesupport

my boyfriend ( 20M ) has cheated on me ( 20M ) 3 times so far. but not physically. basically the first time he did, we were a month into our relationship (1.5 years now) and we were in first year university so we spent a lot of time together and basically lived in eachothers dorms. he had his own dorm, and i had a roommate. so later on i moved into his dorm. i found out that he had been texting his ex girlfriend that he broke up with not too long before he went to university, id say a couple weeks maybe a month. he had been texting her saying that he loves her but that he has a new gf. she was mad because she assumed that they would get back together during the winter break (assuming he wouldn’t have gotten with anyone else i guess?) i dont exactly remember details because it was a year ago but it was cheating.
we had been saying i love you to eachother at that point and i saw their messages by sheer coincidence on his phone. so i broke up with him, but he was crying and hadn’t left his room / eaten in days and told me and convinced me he was different and learned his lesson. since then he has never talked to another girl or had any issues like that. recently, id say about 2-3 months ago he confessed to me that he has been watching p0rn.
now, i know a lot of people dont consider p0rn cheating and are okay with it, but i had talked to him multiple times and set my boundaries about this and we both had agreed it was cheating. so when he told me i was crushed. i felt i wasn’t good enough and that he needed to look at other women to actually feel satisfied. he assured me against it and that it was a p0rn addiction and that he wouldn’t do it again and he’s stopping cold turkey. recently i found out he had lied quite a lot about the p0rn he was watching.
i saw he had been watching joi p0rn and things that i know he liked in bed, he watched in p0rn. from a year ago. now he told me about him watching p0rn so it wasnt that bad, but i saw he had been searching up where to get a pr0stitute and details of it in our area while in the middle of all his p0rn search history, as well as omegle and where to find best girls noodes and leaked noodes of famous girls and s3xting snapchats and “why is ___ so hot” (some instagram 0nlyfans famous girl)
he was asleep next to me at the moment so i woke him up and asked if there’s anything he needs to tell me. now ik people will say “ don’t look through his phone that’s private “ but he tells me all the time that he doesn’t care what i do on his phone and that i can look through anything i want. because of the cheating in the past. so when i asked of course he acted all confused and when i brought up p0rn he told me that he slipped up and watched p0rn recently. i didnt know this at the time but just went with it.
so basically he says he’s changed and that after it he as going to tell me but didn’t know how blah blah blah but he’s changed and he’s never going to do it again. crying and begging at my feet not to leave him. now i know im the dumbass in this. i keep letting him get away with stuff and there also a lot i’m leaving out of the sake of summary. but i can’t leave him, im too invested and he’s an amazing man and boyfriend to me.
i just don’t know if i’m over reacting or if maybe i’m just under reacting. i just don’t know what to think or even how im feeling. i feel more self conscious than i’ve ever felt in my life , and im a very confident person. i know that im a relatively good looking person, so i can’t really understand how to deal with the feeling of being less than and not being able to satisfy someone i thought i knew so well. i feel like i don’t know him anymore. any advice? i’ll answer questions too.
TL;DR my boyfriend has a p0rn addiction that he says is done with but i don’t believe him cuz he’s cheated in the past.

I 20M love her and she 19F broke up with me. How can I get over this?
Hello everyone. As my post says, I love her and she broke up with me. This happened about 26 hours ago, it's still fresh. Things are confusing and don't feel real, and it's shattering me. We love each other, still, but she needed to be alone to work through some trauma that she thought she worked past when we got together. It's been 3 months of absolute beauty, I fell in love with her for her, and vice versa. It was passionate and strong and perfect, just until a few days ago where months of terrible luck for her finally caught up. She continued to tell me that I was her world, that she loved me like nothing else and I was "undeniably her other half" and, "I can't wait to be your future fiancé, wife, and mother to your children." This was all said and meant wholeheartedly until yesterday.
She said it was a case of "right person, wrong time." And that we may even be able to rekindle this after she fights these demons, well, possibly, she was fully yes on this, and "I don't know" a bit after, so that part is wishy washy.
She went from loving me with her whole heart, to breaking mine over a text and phone call, where she cried and kept apologizing and saying that she still loves and adores me. She's also the sweetest woman you could imagine.
So, what do I do reddit? I want to be there, to help her fight through these demons together, but she didn't want that. I'm going to wholeheartedly respect those wishes. But, what are the steps I take from here? Both with her, and also with myself. I'm neurodivergent so I'd like some help and explanation on how exactly to go about this healing process.
Thank you for reading

Fucking tgirls
DL M 150 6'0 7" bbc with girth 24 years old long story I usually use this page to jerk so I might aswell help out 100% real life
I fucked my first tranny at 18 I used to jerk off to a lot of porn from a young age and even got to shemale porn. I lost my virginity to a girl but I was just very horny at that age one day downloaded Grindr scrolled for a while but got distracted went and got high at a friends house and took a few shots aswell hanging out with buddies. I went to the bathroom opened my phone opened Grindr and saw a pretty Latina tgirl and I messaged her. Not a long convo she gave me an address and I left my friends telling them I'm done for the night. I pick up the tranny and she has a tight skirt on smooth thighs and nice ass I was already getting hard leaving her apartment. I park up in the next apartment and we hop in the back seat I already have a completely hard dick cause to me I basically had Jane Marie in the back of my car with me. She is playing with my dick sucking it getting her lipstick everywhere but she keeps answering her phone I think it was her boyfriend calling her. I see her ass and decided to fuck but between the condom and it being my first time I keep getting soft and she is too tight for my soft dick. I stop focusing on her asshole and just feel her body her soft ass and her nice hair with blonde streaks. I get hard and inside and her moans got me so hard I fuck the shit outta her she moans load as hell.(she keeps stopping to text this man in all caps and in Spanish ). After wards I take her to McDonald's and I wasn't even shy at the window cause she looked like a girl so much She gave me her number but I lost it never went back at that time I didn't know how much of a gem she was lol
My second time was off of Grindr again this time a older tranny she was also Latina but heavier then me big ass and tits and she was older 40+ hopefully not 60 lol. I fucked her the first time for free but after I got her number she kept making me pay but I liked her so used to never mind. One time she didn't answer her number and I was so horny I knocked on her door she opened it and said No! I pointed at my pocket I got money and she was mad but let me in. I followed her into the kitchen she was cooking and I put 60$ on her table and started grabbing her ass pulling out my dick and kissing her neck like usual. She said no fuck. I kept kissing her neck and then her mouth she kept saying no fuck I was very hard and she felt it on her ass . I start sucking her big tits doing anything to get her horny and she pushes my head down to her ass I never ate ass before. I had no choice started kissing it and got my tounge in there eventually got really into it and started jerking until I came on her kitchen floor she played in my cum with her feet and then rubbed it all over my clothes I licked her feet she was so experienced she knew exactly what she was doing I stood up kissed her so hard and really just hugged her I still miss that one
Over the years I used some escort websites to find some but I never paid over 100$ I make sure when I'm talking on the phone I flirt with them calling them baby so they get interested and in person I give them a little cash and start the process quick and most of them fold cause I'm in pretty good shape or they wanna smoke some weed with me if I offer them. I've done it probably like 5 times.
Last story I was in Chicago for work not my home state . I found a black tranny online and went to her hotel. I was very high smoked right before I went to her so I was on edge very paranoid of any funny business and Chicago is a rough city.I found her in the lobby and I was surprised she kinda looked like a girl. We get to her room and I give her 40$ and try to grab her ass make her horny she denies me and tells me 200$. No way was I paying that so I just keep flirting trying to make her horny and she is hard to beat keeps touching my pockets. She had a school girl skirt on while sitting on the wall of the bed she lifts her skirt up. I see a floppy 7 inch black cock with shaved pubeses and a belly ring on a flat stomach. I slowly dive across the bed and for the first time suck a dick she knew exactly what she was doing after only 30 seconds she pushed me off and says she wants her money. I hop off the bed and my dick somehow was already out. I start jerking watching her and when she sees my big dick she starts stroking herself. Seeing her finally get horny I automatically cum. I zip up and leave cause I didn't trust this bitch and I heard something in the bathroom of the room I forgot to check. I literally came so hard across the room though she was like omg .

I am going to be completely honest and unbiased because I want to get clarity on this situation since it’s been causing me lots of distress
Last year, I (21F, TEXAS) got a dm on Twitter from A (22M, ILLINOIS). He was replying to one of my down bad tweets where I said “oh I want a boyfriend” I replied and decided to talk to him for a little bit because I believed the relationship between us wouldn’t go anywhere. After messaging on Twitter for a couple of days, I decided to give him my phone number. This involved us talking a lot more and building a weird connection. At first, he would chase me but I had adapted this mentality of “I don’t need a man” so I didn’t really pursue it. After a disagreement, I decided to cut this off because I believed that if we were to ever pursue a relationship between us it would just result in it being extremely toxic. Same day, he would spam me voice messages and talk about how he really wanted something with me and believed he was even developing passionate feelings towards me. A couple of weeks later, we started messaging again. I don’t really remember how it happened, but I know that we eventually stopped talking because I told him I wouldn’t change my mentality of not begging a man and letting a man walk away if they wanted to. So that led to me being blocked and I don’t know why but the first couple of weeks it was like I was able to survive without him but then I eventually felt like I needed him. So I kept messaging his # in hopes of maybe getting a response one day. A week or two go by and he replies saying he was getting my messages on his Apple Watch. I was so happy so relieved we could talk again. I asked him if we could talk again and I clearly remember him saying “yes but I want to make this clear, more to me than u, but we were never dating and we still aren’t” we talked for a solid 5 months everything was fine, yes we would have our little disagreements but it was never anything that would make us cut contact completely until one day we got in an argument and he decided to take a break from me to focus on his studies. Mentally, I was respectful of his decision but physically I just kept trying to talk to him spamming his phone every day waiting again to talk to him. He later blocked me since I wasn’t able to leave him alone. I kept trying to contact him for the longest time but nothing. I spent all summer of last year crying. I would ask the universe for a sign “if I’m meant to be with him please show me something” I would then go on with my day and would see all these little things that reminded me of him. People say I was looking for them, but I truly wasn’t. Maybe like 2-3 months later, I had started a new job and I remember seeing so many angel numbers and so many people that looked/smelled/talked like him. It was like I couldn’t escape/move on from my feelings. This situationship/talking stage/ whatever u wanna call it really messed with me in the head it took me over a year to get over it. I thought of him every single day. Not one day went by where I didn’t think of him. A year later, I’m finally in a better mental state really just focusing on me when all of a sudden I get a text from A. and that messed with me even more, on the way home I teared up because I thought I was over my feelings. We texted for a bit to catch up and whatever. He told me he would’ve liked to remain friends but I could never move on. I told him ,”well I’m over u now” knowing that I’m not even 100% there. We then started talking more and more and I told him about how I’m gonna be in Illinois this August and he said he would take me to dinner and now I am just so confused. After that night, he messaged me the next day but we didn’t even talk. I later on texted him “hey” but no response. It’s been a week now without talking and I know it may not be much and maybe I’m overreacting but I just feel so anxious about it. I don’t know if this is some sort of twin flame connection to better myself or if it’s something else. Can someone please be brutally honest with me and help me see what I can’t

Hey there just wanted to share my experience a week later to show people what to expect and how I’ve handled my situation
7 days ago I was messaged from an account with 400 followers and roughly 200 following, account was on Instagram and was supposedly a 19 year old girl from Nevada with bible verses in her bio
She texted me, I was suspicious and somehow she managed to convince me it was really her and even sent photos holding up 4 fingers which I thought for sure would let me know I was being scammed - but after asking a few ways of photo verification I was convinced as my requests were fulfilled
Yada yada yada we exchange pics and I get hit with the ultimatum of send $800 or have my pictures sent to my family and friends (they had screenshots of my following from tiktok, Facebook and instagram).
I’ve never been in this situation before so of course I was frightened but I felt the best thing to do was convince them I genuinely had no money, I managed to convince the scammer I only had $150 in my account (I have 2 bank accounts and this one had $200 in it so I transferred $150 into an empty savings account to show) and I stupidly sent the money. If I knew then what I know now I would not have sent the money. After sending the money my phone died and when I turned it on I came back to multiple threats and more screenshots of the scammer making group chats with many family members and friends. After reading up on what to do and looking through this subreddit I decided to block on both instagram and my phone number (I gave them my phone number as they wanted to talk over messenger instead)
After blocking, I changed my profile picture to black, changed my account name and deleted my bio, I also deleted my tiktok as I don’t really have a need for it anyways
It took 4 days for them to reach out again over a different phone number except it was a different person and they had no clue about my situation as they thought I was still in school and they were threatening things to do with the principal of the school (I’m 22 lol)
I immediately blocked and haven’t responded - I went to instagram to check if I’d been messaged again there and turns out the original account that scammed me had been deleted so that was a plus
I asked some friends who were supposedly in the group chats and they said they never saw a request so I believe somehow they fake the group chats even if it’s on instagram
But yeah it’s now been 7 days since the initial text, it took about 4 days for me to realise they have nothing over me and if I don’t comply there’s a very high chance they’ll do fuck all so even though I can’t be 100%, I feel 99% certain they won’t do anything
TL-DR ;
I sent $150, blocked and reported and nothing came from it Was messaged days later from a different scammer with my pictures and immediately blocked The people they made group chats with to threaten me have assured me they haven’t even seen a message request As stressful as the situation is, these people think of us as dollar signs and if we block them and give them no feedback - we turn into question marks and question marks are worth fuck all to these people so they move on
My best piece of advice I can give after doing research and experiencing it myself ; Block, report and don’t even respond to the messages I sent them money, I also blocked them and will continue to do so with confidence they won’t do anything
Stay safe everyone and trust me when I say no girl just wants to exchange nudes for nothing, it’s either a scammer or it’s a cruel prank xoxo

Hi Reddit,
I can’t believe I’m writing this post, but this has been on my mind for the past few months and I really need some external input. I need help to figure out if I’m in a toxic relationship, if there’s something I can do to fix it, if I’m over sensitive, or is it time for me to end this?
Context: I ‘M26’ and my girlfriend ‘F25’ have been together for 2.5 years, and known each other for 8 years. We both live in the U.S. but I’m from Europe and she’s from Central America, met in college. Issues started 2 years ago but when things are good she’s amazing (funny/beautiful/caring/makes me feel unconditionally loved/etc) and I always thought the issues were friction we could iron out together. With time I have grown increasingly skeptical of that. This is my first relationship (longer than 3 months) so at the same time I’m worried that maybe I am overly skeptical, that I only see my perspective and fail to see hers. I want to be fair to her, because I love her and care deeply for her as a person, I am just starting to resent the relationship.
History of issues: To me the issues are all centered in my girlfriends anxiety. Frequently, rather than being vulnerable, she projects her anxiety on me and accusing me of all kinds of things. I have both tried to shake off those moments, to recognize that this isn’t her but her anxiety talking, but it still affects me deeply. Not only when it occurs, but when I am doing something and she seems fine I still worry that maybe I will do something wrong and she will snap and this moment will turn to a life or death situation. I have also obviously communicated my concern over this behavior repeatedly, and every time after she takes things too far she apologizes and takes ownership and we come up with a strategy to avoid the issue from repeating. This all sounds very healthy, I think, but the problem is that we’ve had these issues and conversations 25+ times and here we still are. Some things have gotten better for sure but it still feels unbearable to me. Let me provide three examples to illustrate our issues (from my perspective).
Example 1 - 1.5 years ago My best friend and I were victims of attempted robbery from people affiliated with organized crime, the event went to court, and after the trial we wanted to get away from everything. My girlfriend and I had planned to go to a Caribbean island shortly after, so I invited my friend to come a week before my girlfriend and leave the day she arrived. We were both pretty shaken up and just wanted to talk things out and enjoy a tropical paradise. The first night my friend and I arrive (girlfriend still in the US) she starts texting fervently that my friend and I shouldn’t see any of the sights so she and I can see them together for the first time. I get where she’s coming from but this is also a challenging time for me and my best friend so I am not willing to completely sacrifice his week with me to appease my girlfriend. Things escalate and she demands my attention all the time. When my friend and I is out she is calling me 50+ times in a row, texting me that if I love her I would respond and that I am ruing hers and mine vacation and though I’m trying to deescalate I don’t see how to. I end up turning off my phone, although she begs me not to, but I’m still in my head unable to enjoy the night. When I turn my phone back on next day there’s a picture of herself with a cut (very shallow but still) saying I made her do this. This event is the low point of our relationship, and I told her if she ever hurts herself or threatens to hurt herself I’m out, and to be fair to her she has not once since hurt herself. Nonetheless, the calls continue after this (50+ a day) and I spent 3-4h a day on the phone with her and neglecting the trip with my best friend. Damn writing this out really makes me ashamed for not standing my ground back then. Anyways, this really colored the trip with my childhood friend and I think I still resent myself and her for making that happen.
Example 2 - 0.5 years ago I visited a close childhood friend in South America for 2.5 weeks. Because of the events that transpired in example 1, my girlfriend was nervous for my trip. She expressed worry that she would act out in the same way as my last trip. I really appreciated this self-awareness. We therefore talked extensively about how to avoid issues. The first few days were alright, with her being anxious but being vulnerable about it and we managed well, calling once a day and texting 15-20 messages a day (more than I’d want, but that’s a compromise I’m okay with). At this point I make a mistake, but her reactions to it is (in my head at least) not proportional. I told her I was going out with my friend and his friend that weekend, and she expressed that this would make her anxious that I would cheat on her. So I asked what can I do, and we decided I’d send her a text once I left the pre-game, once I left the club, and call her once I got back to my friends place. A little bit much I thought, but I love her so a fair compromise for now. Unfortunately, I got caught up in the moment at the pre-game, and forgot to text my girlfriend. I realized as I was walking home from the club with 25+ missed calls and a bunch of emotional messages about how I forgot because I was around beautiful women and how I don’t love her. Here I understand her pain. She was vulnerable, I agreed to a compromise and I didn’t fulfill my end. 25+ calls is never productive but hey I had some blame here. The following day I call her for 1.5 hours apologizing and we talk things out, and it feels like though she is feeling anxious that she accepts my apology and we have now managed to resolve my mistake. The same night my friend and his friends are going to someone else’s house for a BBQ (which I told my girlfriend about days before). An hour before we are about to leave my girlfriend starts telling me to talk to her on the phone, because I hurt her so bad and when I say I can’t because we are 10 people having a beer before we head out she says she doesn’t care and that I hurt her and now she “wants to make my life miserable”. I tell her “hey I understand you’re upset but I never want to hear those words from the person I love. I know I hurt you but never intentionally”. She says she doesn’t care and keeps calling me non-stop for 40 minutes and I’m worried that if I don’t pick up she will start to call my friend. I try to deescalate and beg her to take a step back and that she is pushing me away by doing this. The whole thing culminates by me getting out of the Uber towards the barbecue and telling my friends that I think my girlfriend and I are breaking up and I need to deal with it. I am crying as I say this and feel so damn embarrassed. Even writing it now I can’t believe this actually happened. Damn. Anyways, as soon as I tell her that I am no longer going to the bbq and I left my friends car she becomes a different person (the person I love) and tells me she is so sorry and realize she took it too far and begs me to order an Uber to the BBQ. She says she’ll pay for it and begs me to go. At that point I’m just so embarrassed at the whole thing and tell her something along the lines of “why the fuck did you push me this far then. I told you you are pushing me away”. I head home, and wonder how someone who loves me so much can intentionally cause me so much harm and I seriously begin to doubt if her and I will ever work. I tell her I don’t think I want to be in the relationship, but that I recognize I’m emotional so I need 7 days without contact to process my thoughts. I won’t block her, but if she reaches out I will. She does reach out (albeit with a nice message) but I still block her.
I probably should have left the relationship here, but damn I love her, we live together, and at this point she was depending on me for her visa to stay in the country. I don’t want to rip all that apart from her. So I say I don’t know if we’ll ever feel okay, but I’m willing to give this one last chance.
To her defense, she take a lot of new steps at this point. She tells her mom and sister everything that happened (including her trust issues and jealousy), she starts with anxiety medication and starts being more vulnerable with her therapist. I am still skeptical that things will actually be okay, but I recognize the effort she puts in and I really appreciate it. The frequency of our arguments decrease, and more disputes now end before they become arguments.
Example 3 - Yesterday My GF flew to Vegas with three of her girlfriends (I know two of them very well) and I know it’s a high risk trip for someone in a relationship but I honestly have complete trust in my GF. I decided to do a dinner with 3 of my friends (who my GF knows equally well, we’re all in a group chat together and do things regularly together) and they invited a 4th person who was part of our sports team (my girlfriend met her 2-3 times, just like me).
She texts me from Vegas asking who’s coming to the dinner and once she finds out this 4th person is coming she asks nicely if we cannot be in someone else’s apartment. When I say hey I’m sorry but I already said we could be at my place she asks at least don’t smoke weed together (my friends are stoners so 100% chance they’ll bring weed), and I say “I’m sorry but I won’t tell them not to and I’ll join In too if they bring it but you have nothing to worry about. I love you and I’ll call you as soon as they leave?” My girlfriend then goes into panic mode and calls me nonstop throughout dinner. I go to the bathroom and begs her to stop, tells her she is ruining this for me, and ask her to trust me. She still calls nonstop until they leave. I try to keep a brave face but again it really ruins the dinner for me.
At this point I have told her how actions like these makes me feel uneasy and prevents me from enjoying life. I told her I need her to trust me. I told her that I won’t have it anymore. And if anything the idea that she doesn’t trust me around 3 people she knows well with a 4th stranger while she’s at a pool party in bikini in Vegas just seems so hypocritical it makes me ever more frustrated.
In her defense: - Her dad cheated multiple times while she was growing up. I understand this makes it excruciatingly difficult to trust a partner. - She started seeing a therapist ~8 months ago. - She now takes medication for her anxiety. - She now has told her mom and sister about her trust issues for the first time in her life. - She began attending codependency meetings regularly. - She says she doesn’t want me to limit my life just for me to communicate better what I’m doing (I think it’s really possible that I’m bad at communicating, because to me this request feels like it comes from a lack of trust).
She is putting in immense effort, but I just feel like I can’t do this anymore. Even when things are good I’m worried that she’s going to explode and that prevents me from enjoying the good times too. I love her and she’s amazing in many ways, but I don’t like feeling responsible for her suffering. I know that by trying to end things she’s going to suffer so much and she’ll beg me to give her another chance. I don’t want to but in those moments I feel like she’s the rational version of herself and that maybe she’ll never explode again. Can I solve my relationship with her? Is it time to leave? Is it fair to leave when she is putting in so much effort? How do I find the courage to go through with it?
Thanks so much in advance, and I’m sorry for such a lengthy post.
TL;DR I think my relationship is toxic and I don’t know if it is fixable, or if it’s time for me to end it? Is it fair to end it when my partner is putting so much effort into the relationship?