How to text dirty

So I’m staying at an Airbnb and my allergies have been horrible. Headache, burning eyes, skin is crawling and brain burning kind of allergies. A friend comes over and they check the air filter to see if it needs cleaning. It’s DISGUSTING. I text the owner of the Airbnb and she maintains that she changes the filter “every couple of months,” but I want to put this photo of the dirty filter out to the internet to see how long people think the owner hasn’t changed the filter for? What are peoples experiences with air filters? Do they really build up dust and all this gunk in just a couple of months like the owner said? Or does this filter look like it hasn’t been changed in 6 months - a year? Please help settle my internal debate. I just want some peace of mind that I’m not crazy, or if this is actually what a couple of months of air vent buildup looks like. Thanks!

Hi there,
I’m a parent of a 21 month old boy and I’m just looking for some perspective in this situation. My son goes to a private licensed daycare that is run through an agency. He started last August and we have never had a single issue with our daycare provider. She has been nothing but loving towards our son and he seems to love her too. She is very gentle and soft spoken and in the 8 months that he’s been under her care he has never even come home with a dirty diaper let alone an injury.
In mid March we were notified that an allegation was made against her and she was immediately shut down while child services investigated. For privacy reasons we never heard the full extent of the accusation from CPS but our daycare provider told us that she brought the kids to the park, one of them ran into a tree branch and got a small cut on their cheek. It did not bleed/ need stitches. The parents were understanding when they picked him up but then next thing you know they contacted child services. The investigation lasted less than 3 weeks and the recommendation was “for her to watch the children more closely”. Given how happy our child was there and what seemed to be a very minor event, we decided to return to her daycare All the parents besides the ones who made the accusation chose to return once she reopened as well.
Well we just got another call from the agency tonight that another allegation was made and she has now being shut down permanently. This absolutely breaks my heart for both my son and his daycare provider. But at the same time I’m wondering if I’m just being naive in this situation. I feel like I generally have a very good read of people so I guess I’m just feeling lost that I potentially put my child back in danger for the last couple months? I don’t know if it’s relevant to mention that she is a black Muslim woman and I wonder if maybe there is some discrimination rimation at play here as well?
My son literally runs from the car to her door every day and gives her a big hug when he gets there. He has not displayed any signs of abuse after reading about it but hoping someone might be able to shed some light on signs I might be missing given that he is so young. Sorry for the wall of text I just feel so lost and sad.

We were together two months never official. She texted me she broke up because she got kicked out of school and wasn’t ready to date. She couldn’t call me after I asked. Couple days before we broke up she agreed to be exclusive. I checked in on her around Christmas and she initially responded but then ignored my next text asking if she was okay since she told me she wasn’t okay which left me really upset. She was my first relationship. Me and my ex met up about three months ago at a bar coincidentally. We said hi and she bought me a drink. I asked her how she was. We later met up again at another bar. I bought her a drink and we talked more about the future and her issues. I told her I lost my friends and couldn't find them, but I told her l'd leave if she wanted me to and she never said to. On our second shot we hugged and I told her if she ever wanted to try again that it would be fine with me. She said she really wished she didn’t have to break up and didn’t want things to end that way. She went back to her friends and I just stood by myself at the bar trying to get ahold of my friends on my phone. A couple minutes later I saw her run out of the bar by herself. I was concerned because it's bad area and I didn't want her to be alone. I went out and asked her if she was okay. She said she was trying to go home but her ride canceled. I bought her way back into the bar because they weren't accepting anymore people. She told me she wasn't coming home with me that night and I said I know that. When we got back in we got a drink to make up for me paying for her to get back in. We talked about me potentially visiting at work for ice treatment and she said that would be fine and to text her if I needed anything. Then I stupidly asked her to dance because I was drunk. She said that at that point she just wanted to go home. I just talked to her other male friends as I waited for my friends to respond. They appeared to be friendly with me. I truly wasn’t trying to be a jerk. Her female friends gave me dirty looks. When the bar shut down I asked her what I should do she gave me advice of either walking to my cousins or getting an Uber and told me to text her when I get back home. I texted her and she responded nicely saying thanks for checking in. The next day I asked her about visiting at work and she didn't reply so I followed up the next day. This time she replied with a nasty text saying that I followed her around and that it was very uncomfortable. She said I took the whole situation too far and that she didn't want to date or be exclusive and that she wouldn't feel comfortable with me at her work. She then said that this would be our last conversation and she wishes me the best of luck in my endeavors. I just didn’t reply. She then unadded me on snap. After everything I did for her I felt horrible. All I've ever done for her was protect her and try to make her happy. I just hope she knows that that is not who I am. I recently saw her on a dating app which hurt as well. Then she unfollowed me on instagrams after I posted on my story. I already unfollowed her a while ago.

Sandoval Redemption Arc (Timestamp: 3:43) - Luke: Man, you did great this season though. I feel like there were a number of episodes that you absolutely carried, man. You did the dirty work at times that you had to do, 100%. - Schwartz: Luke, that is the hottest and only time I've ever heard a take like that in my life. I feel like I was kind of like a background character this season. - Kristen: No I don’t think so - Luke: You were absolutely essential to get through to people. You were the bridge that needed to happen. - Kristen: It's always your comic relief too. It's so refreshing. - Schwartz: On that note, Luke, to piggyback off or to continue that thought, I read the comments sometimes. For the most part, I stay out of the comments, but I like to see what's going on in there. And I saw a lot of people saying, we don't want a Sandoval Redemption story. - Schwartz: Ew, stop trying to shove a Sandoval Redemption story down our throats. And I don't know, man, maybe I'm too close to Tom or the whole situation. But I never saw this as a Tom Sandoval Redemption season. - Schwartz: I don't think he got a Redemption arc. I think he was just trying to reinstill a little humanity in someone that was like on the fucking edge of losing his mind. And I'm not here to evoke sympathy for Sandoval, but like I'm just saying, like the guy was on the edge. - Schwartz: He went to a very dark place. And yeah, I watched this entire season. I guess, I guess, I don't know, I didn't see it as a as Bravo trying to shove a redemption story down anyone's story at all. I thought it just trying to add some nuance and like a little civility to it. - Luke: There was nothing you could do. It was the story. You know, it's like it picked up so quick after the scandal broke. So what are you going to do? I mean, no one wanted to be around Tom about Sandoval. So I mean, it's kind of the real dynamic. And that's the whole point of it. - Kristen: For me, I think the quote unquote like redemption arc when I watched it, it wasn't about you. And at points, it wasn't even about Sandoval. I think it was the Lala of it trying to like, I don't know, it was like it just felt it didn't feel very authentic at times with Lala and kind of being Sandoval or like even Scheana. - Kristen: I know Scheana struggled a lot, though, but like, just certain times I felt like, because it wasn't you shoving Sandoval down people's throats, there were other people doing it and it felt like less genuine. But I don't think that you did. - Kristen: I think this is the first time not only on Vanderpump Rules, but really, since I've known you, that I've seen you kind of stand up to him and say like, this is like not you stopped sugarcoating shit. You weren't hurtful, but you just had to be more stern with him. - Schwartz: Well, there was some tough love. In order, it's like, dude, we put a hefty sum, you know, like I try not to think like this because it's not healthy, but you know, I could have bought a beautiful home, a nice appreciating asset and sat back and just chilled out. - Schwartz: But you know, I decided to open a bar and I'm taking ownership of it. But it's like when you do that, you put everything on the line for it, then all of a sudden, the brand name is, you know, severely jeopardized because of someone else's actions. It's hard not to be bitter. - Kristen: But of course, of course, but I think time does heal. And I think is from what I've seen, like there were definitely moments and I even said this on Watch What Happens Live when I was on it, like that I saw the glimpses of like a genuine old Tom who was really feeling his feelings. - Kristen: And even though a lot of people maybe didn't want to believe him, like I could see the difference and I genuinely believed his apologies and I do understand also that like it gets to a point where you do feel so beat down because I've been in that position obviously in the past, where it's like how many more times can I say I'm sorry? - Kristen: Where you kind of just get really frustrated, where it's like what the fuck else can I do? Do you want my firstborn child, like you guys, I'm eating shit a little bit. I just think the problem was Ariana wasn't ready and too many people weren't letting that go. And I think that's what it appeared to be. Like they're going to figure that out. She'll figure that out in her own time. - Kristen: I think when she has, I think this hiatus you guys are having is going to be really helpful for everyone to heal and move on and like live their own lives. - Kristen: So then hopefully you guys come back for a season 12 and we get to watch something more fresh, not like, okay, jump back in, no, we just did the reunion, but now a month later, we're going to keep talking about it again. Everyone's still kind of in the same place, you know?
The show taking a break (Timestamp: 8:15) - Schwartz: But yeah, I think that was beautifully stated. I think people need a little break. I think the show, I like that we're actually taking a little breather that is postponed. - Schwartz: I don't know what the future of the whole looks like, but maybe I'm delusional, but I feel like we're just gearing up for a whole new chapter. I don't know. I think the show needs to breathe a little bit. - Schwartz: There's some overexposure. I think there's some you know what of all fatigue, and it's like it got a little dark. Usually, the show has always been 100% authentic. Doute, you lived it with me. We were friends before the show. I think it was always more levity to it. It just got a little bleak, a little dismal for me the past few years. But I don't know. I think everyone's healing. - Schwartz: That was my mantra for the season, but no one wanted to hear it. Forgiveness is healing.
How the reunion was different (Timestamp: 9:04) - Kristen: At least for part one of the reunion, and I've heard some of you guys talk about this, I think the girls on Watch What Happens Live, that it wasn't as heated of a reunion as it has been in the past. It wasn't screaming and shouting and threatening to fight and things like that, which makes it so much more interesting because it's hard to hear. - Schwartz: I think so too. I love nuance and civil conversation. I'm intrigued by that. Of course, I like drama. I like a little blow up, a meltdown here and there, a mic rip, a signature Kristen Doute mic rip. - Kristen: Oh, totally. - Schwartz: But yeah, we had a pretty civil discourse. I don't want to make it sound boring because it was raw and intense. And I think just seeing some of the sentiment on Twitter and stuff, I think it's like you got to admire Lala's propensity to show up and do the work, do her job. - Schwartz: But at the same time, when you explicitly talk about it as if it's a job, it inherently detracts from the reality. So it's like Doute and Luke, you've been doing it long enough now. It's like an unspoken rule in the biz. - Schwartz: You have to be radically honest, remove your filter, and you have to bring it. But in talking about that and breaking the fourth wall, I don't know, lately I've been feeling like it's jeopardizing the authenticity of it. Because these are our real lives, we're not acting, we're not making up storylines. - Kristen: No, I agree with you about the Lala thing. And I think I've even maybe not explained it in the best way where I've said on our podcast recapping it, it felt like no one else wanted to talk about whatever the thing was like calling Rachel or certain moments or go have hot dogs with Jo. I guarantee that every other female cast member was like, hell no. - Kristen: And so Lala was like, I'll fucking do it. And so that's what I think to listeners, to you guys, like what we're trying to explain about reality TV. The job of it is being authentic and you can't have these conversations privately about Girl Joe or about this or that whatever. - Kristen: And then when the cameras are up, go, no, we're not doing that because essentially it means like, oh, the audience will rip us apart because we can't do that. You know what I'm saying? And so the job that Lala did is just saying the things that were already being said behind, like off camera. - Schwartz: Totally. - Kristen: So I do get her a lot of credit for that. - Schwartz: Me too. Lala brings it without a doubt. You know, she's a star on the show, but you know, it's like when you talk about it explicitly, I think, I don't know, in my mind, I worry that it jeopardizes the autisticity, but there's no doubt about it. Lala shows up. It does the work. - Schwartz: And it's like, the thing is a lot of those conversations are conversations you should have. They're like healthy, therapeutic conversations, ones that you would just rather put off. Let's talk about it a month, three months from now, maybe never, preferably sweep it under the rug, say la vie. - Schwartz: But like, you know, short term, it's like we live almost in a condensed time scale when we do reality TV. And it's as awful as some of those conversations are to have. It's like long term, they're usually therapeutic and probably healthy. - Schwartz: But like in Ariana's case this year at the reunion and everything, in like the grey walling and stuff, and just given that it was like this national global sensation, I think her not wanting to have that conversation with Tom at the end, I think it was earned. But you know, I also see other people's viewpoint, like, you know, we've all had to have such horribly uncomfortable conversations. But anyways, I think it seems polarized online. - Kristen: Of course it does - Schwartz: I think it was earned from Arianna, yeah.
What was it like watching the final act of the show together, live on stage, and then immediately having to talk about it? (Timestamp: 12:47) - Schwartz: I think I cried. It didn't feel like a finale finale to me, but it just it felt like a retrospective. And it got me, I don't know, got me feeling all kinds of nostalgia, you know, we've had like, we kind of even know some of us were in our 30s, we kind of grew up on television, you know, it's like, um, yeah, I don't know. - Schwartz: We really did. And like, we've forged really deep, meaningful friendships. Kristen, you're the second person I ever met in Los Angeles, you know, I love you. You're my family. - Kristen: Love you. - Schwartz: And yeah, it got me feeling a lot of feels.
What are going to do since you aren’t filming this summer? (Timestamp: 20:18) - Schwartz: I'm going to start sidequesting. You know what I mean? I don't know if you remember, Kristen, but before the pandemic, I was getting to the point where I was just confident enough to DJ in the bars. - Schwartz: I want to be able to DJ in my bars. I'm not trying to be like superstar DJ. I just want to be able to DJ in my bars. We're kind of relaunching our whiskey, which I'm super stoked about. We're going to be doing some bottle signings next week. We got distribution in California, which is cool. - Schwartz: I'm going to travel for the first time in my life. I'm planning on playing the World Series of Poker, Kristen, you know, I'm an avid poker player. - Schwartz: Also, this is another dream that I think is finally coming to fruition. I have property in Florida. I'm finally going to build a house for my family there and I have like this little pond. - Schwartz: I've been working out like every day eating healthier and I'm reading a little bit again. I stopped reading for like the past four years.
Jo (Timestamp: 30:25) - Kristen: And I don't want to give this too much attention because I feel like this clip as we're speaking is going to end up on an Instagram Live very shortly. But I just want to say that I, as of her last Instagram Live or whenever that was, you let me read your text to her in its entirety. - Kristen: And my frustration lies in that she was cherry picking bits and pieces and not reading the context behind these things, leaving out things that you said that were very kind, as well as leaving out things that you had to call her out on that frustrated you. And we're not going to say what those things are because that's between the two of you. And we're not going to pull out Jo by talking more about that. - Kristen: But I just want people to know that because everyone's like, well, what happened? What's the main thing? And why did it turn this way so quickly? - Kristen: So I think, is that fair to say that you explained yourself in a very lengthy way and said everything you had to say. And it was you that sent the text. - Schwartz: Yeah, it was firm, but constructive. And yeah, it felt like a major violation when she went and read that. And she cherry picked it to fit her narrative online. And like, I get it. She's going through some feelings, like she's hurt a little bit. You know, like, I know I'm very familiar with the feeling of being rejected. - Schwartz: But it's like, the reasons I pulled away from Jo are very valid and she has to respect those. Like she just, I mean, yeah, I'm not going to get into it because I don't want to do that to her. But like she's she's she's told some egregious lies that I found out and I've debunked and I've called it. - Schwartz: I've called her out on a few of them. But some of them are just so uncomfortable to bring up that I never addressed it. It just we were it just I knew at a certain point that I had to pull away from her. - Schwartz: And, you know, hopefully she can respect that I just it does feel like a violation when she goes on there. And it's like she's kind of spinning this narrative like she's a victim. I played her. - Schwartz: And it's like, poor Jo, I'm like, it's just I don't know, man. I get it that her feelings are hurt. But like if I was to talk about the reasons why I separated from her, which are very valid, I think everybody would be singing a different tune online and like, okay, my god, I'm sorry, I judged you Schwartz. - Kristen: And I will say some of those reasons are reasons why I would not redevelop my friendship with her. Like meaning I've been through some of the things, the lies that you've been through as well. So I just wanted to make that crystal clear for people that I think you handled it so incredibly well. - Kristen: You placed a very intelligent and healthy boundary for yourself, for your relationship, for your mental health, for your sanity, really, so you can have a really healthy, productive, awesome summer. You don't have to film. You don't need all this extra drama in your life. You're just trying to like move on to bigger, better, more positive ways of living, you know? - Schwartz: Yeah, I'm like I'm drama fatigued. And it's like, honestly, maybe it wouldn't have escalated to that. But like over the like while the show was airing, people were continually sending me clips and memes. - Schwartz: Oh my god, she was saying she's making me look bad. And people are rallying against you, you know, Team Jo. And I'm just like, I ignored it for so long. - Schwartz: And I think I just hit my breaking point that day. And there's some other things that happened with my family that I found out that I was very unhappy about. And anyways, anyways, so yeah, I just I cut her off. I blocked her. I don't harbor any resentment. I'm not like harboring ill. - Schwartz: I don't want, you know, I'm not sending bad vibes out there or whatever. - Kristen: Totally. It's just a boundary. - Schwartz: I wish her well, but yeah, she's not in my life in any capacity anymore and never will be. - Luke: Last question about on this topic. Have you seen Baby Reindeer? - Schwartz: No, I have not seen Baby Reindeer. - Luke: Are you familiar with what it is? - Schwartz Vaguely. - Kristen: You need to watch it though. - Luke: It's worth it. - Schwartz: I don't know. But anyways, I'll leave on a positive note, you know, anyways, yeah, no hard feelings no hard feelings at all.
Sandoval and Schwartz living situation (Timestamp: 45:30) - Schwartz: Well, listen, it's kind dynamic right now. I'm thinking about downsizing slightly, maybe a cool little lot. First of all, I've always wanted to live in a loft, a cool artist loft. - Schwartz: I found a really cool one in the valley. I was thinking about possibly downsizing while I build my house in Florida, just to cut costs a little bit. The optics of me moving in with Sandoval are not good for my personal growth and everything. - Schwartz: I also don't mind helping my friend out because I don't know exactly what's going to happen with the house, but I know his mortgage is going to be a lot more should he get to keep the house. I don't mind helping my buddy out either. It's like I'd rather give him some of my money, have a little backyard, a pool, and chill out there while I build my house in Florida, but it for sure wouldn't be anything long term. - Schwartz: As much as we love each other, and we've had very healthy conversations about this. We're like, dude, I don't really want to live with you. He's like, I don't want to live with you either, but I'm thinking it would be fun one last time before we get too old, we get hitched, have kids. Maybe it'd be fun to live together, but it's like, my god, the sentiment online is like, ew, don't do it, loser.
***end of recap

hi guys im new here! i'm not sure if this is totally limerence but i just need some advice, so for starters im me, a senior in high school, and this boy (a junior) started talking and in the beginning i wanted to keep things private and he agreed to which i really appreciated from him. we started talking around feburary of this year and recently just stopped talking around 3 weeks ago. the reason as to why we stopped talking was because i felt he was too friendly around other girls and because he kept standing me up. i told him how i felt in a text message about him standing me up and he agreed that it was wrong and apologized for doing so and we ended off on a positive note with each other because in the begnning i told him we should just be friends. shamely i called him days later and told him i still liked him and still wanted to talk because i did miss him and we agreed to continue talking and to keep things private.
however, he's been walking around with another girl and i keep hearing things about them dating so i completely removed him off everything and would ignore him because it's genuinely weird to me that he didn't even wait to start talking to another girl let alone them both being all in my face every corner i turn at school. i apologize because this sounds like high school drama/bs but he told a mutual friend of ours that he felt i was pushy and that he didn't know if he could take me seriously. it really hurt my feelings because i didn't think he would go and start talking about me to other people especially when i've done nothing but be kind to him especially when i would always give him advice and listen to him when he would rant to me about stuff going on at home, and even got him a gift for his birthday. it hurts because now im rethinking a lot of the type of the person i was in the "relationship" and if i was actually pushy, it hurts my feelings a lot more because he was my first kiss and i feel so ashamed because i've been nothing but kind to him but i don't understand why he didn't let ME know that i was being pushy.
i guess in this perfect reality i expected him to be more mature and not to do me so dirty especially with having another girl in his face in front of me. and i know the "pushy" word he used to describe me to someone else is gonna eat me up for so long and make me feel like there's something really wrong with me and how i'll navigate in my future relationships. can u guys just give me some much needed advice, do you think i was being too pushy or is he just being immature because i’ve been ignoring him for talking to another girl? thank u :)

My best friend is one of those people who makes constant sex jokes, he has a really dirty mind. A little while ago, maybe a month or so, he got a crush on this boy we met at the school's LGBT club. My friend, a freshman, was surprised to find out he was actually a senior. Originally he said he would date him because it would be weird, but recently he told me they are boyfriends. I'm the type of guy who is a people pleaser and I always try to be supportive, so I was. Noone else in our close friend group was, though. I have been sick for the past few days, and my friend just texted me "HELP I JUST ACCIDENTALLY FLASHED [senior]" I was caught completely off gaurd and asked him how the hell you flash someone accidentally. No matter how I asked the question, he kept reply "accident." I said it was okay for him to have secrets and he said "NO" and I asked if he was in the same PE class and got changed together (both my friend and the senior are transgender boys), he replied "NO" again. I decided to ask "so, what situation were you in that caused you to flash him?" and he replied with "uh... drugs." He usually makes weed jokes so it was kinda of obvious that he was lying. He kept spamming me with "weed, crack, cocaine, drugs" and I reassured him it's okay to have secrets, and he just kept going. I told him that drugs would be more concerning than any situation I was thinking of. I said "Okay" and he hasn't responded. I would rather him just tell me he wants to have a secret than keep lying to me. I'm starting to get kind of worried about him, is there anything I should do?

~First~
A Scion of Many Worlds
Observer Wu was not sure about this next call. There had been rumours, rumours stories and absurdities from first to last. But this was one he would need to investigate thoroughly. He steels his face to a neutral position as the call goes through.
“You’re on a drone observing. I am working.” Is the first thing that comes through. A voice simultaneously deep but accompanied with a chorus of tingling bells. The image shows an enormous figure that appears to be primarily composed of shimmering white fur looking over the 3D model of a building as he directs things through the air with his right hand. Support structures, beams and building materials all soar at his direction and quickly slam themselves into place to quickly construct a large structure. “I am capable of speaking as I work, so if you have questions then ask them.”
“I am Observer Wu from Earth. I am looking for Mister Blue.
“I am one of the Blues.” The enormous figure states. “Jasper Blue, also Emmanuel Skitterway.”
The camera zooms in before something white catches onto it and it’s forced back. “Apologies, the drone is not of the best quality.”
“I would assume that a... God Emperor would have better?”
“I am directing these resources into infrastructure. Things like this sewage processing plant will not build themselves and the components that the camera drone requires are better spent ensuring that pathogens are kept out of the water, or that a medical scanner has appropriate redundancies.” Emmanuel replies as the panelling to the outside of the building start attaching itself at his direction and they’re quickly left with a solid looking structure with numerous tanks to the side.
“Alright the building is finished! Painters! Have your way with it!” He calls out and numerous people rush up with decorating supplies. “There is more for me to do. While many of the relief ships arrived with prefabricated buildings there was an unfortunate and nearly universal blindspot in their considerations.”
“Which is?”
“That while the world is settled by many respects, it was at a late iron age level at best, borderline tribal in other areas. Sewage treatment and sanitation concerns like that are simply not in their proper place. Every major and minor settlement requires a massive overhaul of it’s infrastructure in order to bring the living standards up to even industrial levels, let alone galactic levels.” Emmanuel states.
“This seems rather menial for someone ostensibly in charge of an entire planet.”
“Delegation. I have any communications and status updates relayed to me through that pursuing drone, it’s a hand’s free system, so while it is not always at one hundred percent satisfaction it allows me to lead while I also work. After all, many of the legislative concerns can be easily taken care of by my numerous assistants, but only a handful of people have the sanitation know how and willingness to work and put together sewage containment.”
“A little demeaning for one worshipped as a god.”
“I am a Primal. I’m going to be regarded as such whether I indent a throne with an ever widening rear or gunk out sewer lines, and of the two only one of them actually makes things better.” Emmanuel dismisses.
“Really. Yet you’re still not getting dirty.”
“I could do things less efficiently to look like I’ve been working hard, but honestly it’s all in the Axiom. The truth of the matter is that sewer work with even just a small amount of technology is more boring than dirty.” Emmanuel states before turning, the camera turns with him. It now shows where an entire army of workers are installing the pipes and systems for a proper sewage network. “Still, not bad eh? One year ago this place was an abandoned wreck of a smaller city. The population all but mind controlled by a group of religious fanatics who convinced them to abandon their homes and any dignity. They’ve come a long way since.” Emmanuel states.
“Have they?”
“This was the Greenstone Alliance Territory, a breakaway state from The Empire of Miru. To them the cannon was the military innovation rocking the nation.”
“I see...”
“Now they get air conditioning, indoor plumbing, heating in the winter, canned food for the leaner months, telephones to speak with their loved ones over a distance, radio for alerts and entertainment and far more.” Emmanuel states as he indicates an antenna being set up.
“All that?” Observer Wu remarks. “You seem a little... involved for a supposed god.”
“There are two so called gods on this world.” Emmanuel replies. “I, who have personally conquered much of it, wheeled and dealed with other nations and proved myself as warrior and leader both, and Yserizan. Yserizan is either the mother, grandmother or great grandmother of at least a quarter of the world population.”
“And your relationship to this Yserizan?”
“One of my wives. Our union was also a unification of Lablan as a single strong point on this world and...”
“What’s this?” A new voice asks and the camera reorients to a young woman with glowing golden hair.
“Just a camera drone, nothing to be concerned about.” Emmanuel states.
“Oh. So it’s watching us?”
“Yes.”
“And the image of the person on top of it?”
“The person watching.”
“Who is he?”
“Observer Wu.”
“And why is an Observer needed?”
“Do you recall whenever Earth or the Origins of Humanity are discussed?”
“A little? Every time I seem to get a little bit more education it just lets me see how much more there is.”
“Oh that’s very normal.” Emmanuel replies.
“If I may be introduced?” Observer Wu asks.
“I am Empress Zaviah Enlightened Luxen Divine Ascendant, ruler of Miru Reborn.”
“Miru Reborn is?”
“One of the largest empires upon Lakran. Consisting of Central Miru, The Greenstone Territories of Northern Miru and The Goldlands Unification of Southern Miru. Our population is primarily Erumenta of all types, but other peoples are of course welcome.”
“And what brought about this rebirth?” Observer Wu asks and his eyebrows go up as Zaviah points right at Emmanuel.
“Heh, guilty. Everywhere I turned the planet seemed to just be full of more and more problems that needed to stop sometime ten years ago and no one else was available. So I did the best I could.”
“And then broke armies, nations and all known limits upon people.”
“All presently known limits, what I did is only impressive when it’s weighed in that I started with only Horace’s memories and didn’t even understand how an Urthani body fully worked at the time.” Emmanuel states.
“Yes. I read that report. It was absurd.”
“It was accurate. We have all the parties involved to attest for it here on planet if you care to speak with them.” Emmanuel notes as he checks a device and nods. “All right, next is...”
“Break.” Zaviah tells him.
“Excuse me.”
“Grandmother has given ME the authority to force you into rest father!” Zaviah says with relish in her tone.
“She wouldn’t!”
“She has! If I see that you’re working too hard I can tell you to stop.”
“You do know she legally has no such authority over me right?” Emmanuel asks pointing a diamond plated claw at the comparatively tiny Erumenta who’s grinning widely at this.
“Yes, but she’ll be so disappointed that her little boy isn’t taking care of himself anymore even though he promised to and...”
“It was a mistake working so hard to make the two of you friends.” Emmanuel says in a note of false despair. “Just a moment I’ll instruct the work crew on the next few communities to proceed without me.”
“That sounds like work.”
“A text to go with Plan B rather than Plan A is not work, it’s good manners.” Emmanuel protests and raises an eye ridge as a much smaller girl tries to glare him down. “Are you sure you want to put so much force into your day by day interactions while...”
A tiny dark shape slams into Zaviah to the Erumenta’s audible protest as Magrica starts gushing about how cute it is for the little girl to finally have some grit in her gut and how she’s going to braid her hair and take her monster hunting and get her a battleaxe to go with that attitude...
Emmanuel turns to the politely puzzled Wu and shrugs.
“Motherhood does amazing things to some women. Magrica was much more openly fierce before, but she decided that all my children, adopted and otherwise, were hers to teach and nurture into proper warriors.”
“And how did she take the fact that you are technically the step parent of a quarter of the world’s population if what you told me about Yserizan is correct?”
“She has an entire squadron of Nagasha she’s training to be monster hunters. It’s actually going pretty well. The Jungle Nagasha are really appreciating it more than the other types, but the few Cloud Nagasha they have as scouts and aerial reconnaissance are fully embracing the role.”
“And how are you taking to... godhood?” Observer Wu asks his eyes penetrating.
“It grows more comfortable unfortunately.”
“Unfortunately.” Wu repeats. Not questioning, but certainly prompting.
“I’ve had to put aside my own prejudices in the matter. Humans have a bad track record with self proclaimed gods and messiahs. Too many fakes and too many holy wars. To say nothing of the cults, witch-hunts and the like. And Urthani would follow any number of faiths, but the divine figure was either some kind of Divine Truth, a more abstract theology, gods that embody concepts or something animist for the most part.”
“Did you look to The Nagasha for a better example?”
“I did, and that’s what caused me to grow more comfortable with the title. Primal Nagasha aren’t worshipped in the way humans would a prohet or saint. Seeing them as nigh infallible. No, a Primal Nagasha is simply the very best that a Nagasha can be and it can neither be stopped nor denied. While most of them are indeed leaders to follow, authorities to obey or the sources of philosophy to accept, they are not regarded as unquestionable or infallible.”
“And that is what helped?”
“It is. I was terrified that someone would misinterpret me, either honestly or malevolently, and cause immense damage in my name. A crusade to cull any politician that isn’t in the military through fire and steel, or an Urthani Colony deciding that they deserve the entire world and since not only have the strength now, but a god of their own, that they are righteous in slaughter... I had several kinds of nightmare when I let my mind wander.”
“And?” Wu prompts.
“I had a conversation. An important one with an important person. She helped me put everything in perspective. But she’s not the type to appreciate too much attention. So she’s requested I keep things quiet. But, I can say that she is an authority on the subject. And she had a fair amount to say.”
“So you’ve spoken to other so called gods of the serpent people.”
“Primal Nagasha, and yes. One has arrived already, she lives her life as quietly as she can. Another is soon to arrive. The first wanted my measure, the second wants to ensure that as a more militaristic Primal that I’m up to standard as she calls it.”
“Oh?”
“I’m part of the smallest stable demographic in the galaxy. Primals. Apparently we’re a very self policing people.”
“So in other words, you’re more a celebrity in multiple fields than some object of worship?”
“Closer to actual worship than celebrity worship I’m afraid. Still, it’s not mindless, and those that are looking for an excuse... well they’ll find another one if it’s not me. At least if someone’s trying to use my name to do something horrible it means I have all moral authority to let them know how stupid such a thing is.”
“I suppose that is an upside to an insane cult deciding that it wants to go on a rampage in your name.”
“But that’s just the thing I really had to internalize, if they’re going to do that, then they’re going to do it and I’m just their excuse. They’ll find another if I’m not available. I’m responsible for the example I set, the actions I do and the things I say. I am not responsible for how they are interpreted.”
“Interesting. Still, is there a reason you’re sharing this in particular?”
“I figured the most distressing thing that Earth would consider about my situation was my rise into divine stature. A powerful soldier can be understood, a powerful politician or businessman can also be understood, but someone being regarded as a god can not be understood within a positive context thanks to the rather terrible history of such on Earth.” Emmanuel says.
“That... is an interesting concern. However, you do not think your conquering an entire world to be a bad thing?”
“Considering that it was basically in unending war, competition and self sabotage? Yes. You see, this world was suffering over an unending brain drain due to the fact that all male colonists were lost in the initial crash of the colony ship. There were surviving males, but they were in stasis and could not be retrieved. The method that was used to ensure there would be a future population was flawed, intended as an emergency stopgap. But they didn’t have the means to move past it. So it was used over and over again. This world was nearing the breaking point.”
“And that justifies conquering it?”
“When the nation states are tearing themselves apart through mindless pride? Scheming for the sake of scheming? Or are outright predating the other states? Yes, yes it does. To not intervene would have killed, far, far more people.”
“So you justify things by saying that thye will thank you some day?’
“They thank me now.”
“And it’s sincere?”
“Yes, considering that I’ve had a woman weep with relief at getting something as simple as a pair of glasses, or another outright beg for her child and herself to be healed of the degeneration they’ve suffered. How can I consider it anything but sincere?” Emmanuel asks.
“Oh? Who are you speaking with?” A new voice asks before a massive serpent woman slithers into Wu’s field of view. Her hood is fully flared out to reveal her as Lady Yserizan as she regards things. “A human friend?”
“An Observer from earth, they’re struggling to believe all the things they’ve been told.”
“Considering some mornings I wake up scarcely believing how my life has changed for the better I don’t blame them.” Yserizan notes happily. “Still, is there anything this... Observer wants to know in particular?”
“In particular I want to know many things. I’m just saying my first hello and listening to whatever anyone wants to say to me. I’ll be visiting that world before I return to Earth so make of that what you will.” Observer Wu says.
“Of course, it might be interesting to show you the temple my daughters made for me.”
“I will admit, receiving a tour of a living god’s temple from the god themselves will be a new experience for me.” Observer Wu admits.
~First~ Last

100% of the problems I have in my life is single-handedly caused by my narcissistic parents. Their selfish entitled behavior has fucked my life over a dozens of times, they’re extremely selfish and self centered: they don’t care about my needs AT ALL. My Nmom wants her needs taken care of, even her financially irresponsible ones. She wants me to serve all of them to her with a golden spoon. She wants to be babied like a child. Within the last 2 years I have not been okay at all in any aspect of my life whether it’s education wise, emotional wise, mentally, and physically. I legit have to go to fucking therapy to sort my trauma out that my nparents has caused me. FUCK. I didn’t like a normal life like everyone else who has healthy parents. My parents gave birth to me so I could coddle their ego and serve their needs like a slave. They treat me like shit and dictate how I should be treated, they’re basically indirectly saying how I should be treated as a human being and it’s shit. It’s absolutely awful.
My Nmom is extremely mean to me. Her entire personality is mean, she just a mean person and idk if she’s just like that to me or other people but she’s mean. I live with her and it’s so hard to explain how she treats me. She treats me like a labor slave yk? She wants me to do all her dirty work while she goes out and has so much fun. Shes the type of mother who can help her children out but chooses not to because of her selfish needs and desires matter more.
So I want nothing to do with her. All she does is treat me badly. She doesn’t care about me. She could live her life like normal if I died. My Nmom is always bombarding me with text messages asking if i’m okay and I ate. It boggles my mind because she’s those type of parents who verbally do the most but when it comes to them actually showing that they care they don’t do it. I’m tired of my mother trying to constantly talk to me like she cares about me. She always talks to me if it’s because she wants to talk about herself, the family or if it’s because she needs something or one a rare occasion she wants to act like she cares about me. Like just sto. why can’t she stop? I don’t talk to my Nmom at all unless she talks to me first. I do not speak to my mother at all. The only time we do speak is if she comes to me first, and sometimes I don’t even text back to her because I genuinely don’t wanna talk to her. I hate talking to that women. She only cares about herself. She constantly has to be talking to me and it’s never even about her asking ABOUT ME. About MY life s about what i’m doing and what i’m up to. If she does it’s always because she wants to sabotage it. There’s nothing I want more than my Nmom never speaking to me again. Her actions are TERRIBLE but she fakes a nice caring personality verbally which doesn’t even cost much effort and that’s why she does it.
Her reals self is how she acts towards me physically and personality wise. It doesn’t take much to say ILY to a person you don’t give a fuck about. I’m literally walking to my local job service to help me become employed. This generation is fucked employment wise. I can’t live on good terms with this women because she always picks fights wirh me and always wants something of mine. It’s so toxic and emotionally draining. I cannot. My mom is the problem. I can’t ugh it’s so overwhelming. I can’t find a full time job anywhere and if I do I’ll spend my entire days there because that’s the only way I can decrease my time being around my Nmom.

As the last orange light of day drained from the sky, the living dead in Club Vlad rose. Max the skeleton and Jessie the…not skeleton…sewed up the gaping Y-shaped incision on Dom’s chest under Merrick’s direct supervision. Dom sat there, feeling nothing, thinking nothing. He’d woken with a headache and a feeling of cold, and even now, he could feel the dull throb above his left eye. It felt like someone was tearing his brain apart with a fork. He had told Merrick, and Merrick had nodded sadly. “Is my brain rotting?”
“Most likely,” Merrick had said.
There was a certain peace in the idea of losing his cursed humanity. As Merrick had said, he would feel no pain, know no quandaries. He would live only for the night and for his master. On the other hand, watching someone like Matt sit and stare into the distance, drool coursing down his chin and nothing happening behind his dead eyes, scared Dom. He didn’t want to be a braindead idiot. He didn’t care about keeping his emotions, he just wanted to function.
Like Merrick.
There wasn’t much he could do, however. He was dead and that was the end of it.
Once Dom was patched up and dressed in a pair of jeans and a hoodie, Merrick called his children before him. “I have done my best to love and protect all of you,” he began. “Jessie, you were miserable with your grandmother, were you not?”
“Yes,” Jessie said tonelessly.
“You were depressed, bipolar, and cut yourself. Now you’re happy.”
“Yes,” she replied again.
“Joe, you were a two bit nobody staring down a ten year stretch in jail.”
“Yes.” Thin yellow liquid dripped from his nose.
“But now you are free.”
“Yes.”
“You appreciate what I’ve done for you.”
“Yes.”
Merrick flashed then, slamming his fist onto the arm of his wheelchair. “Then why do you keep fucking up? The police were here earlier. They have messages between you and Jessie. I told both of you to delete those. Then I find out that you bit someone and turned them despite my orders. We have an endless supply of blood here but you still went off on your own. How many are there?”
“Just one,” Joe said.
“Are you being honest with me?”
“Yes.”
Merrick sagged back in his chair, looking somehow older. “Joe, take Matt and go to her. Bring her back here before she causes any more problems. God alone knows how many people she’s changed. Too many vampires without a father will bring heat on us, and you know what happens in that case? We get pieces of wood shoved in our chests.”
Turning to Dom, Merrick said, “I have a job for you and Jessie. We’re nearly out of embalming fluid. You haven’t had your first dose and the rest of us are starting to get ripe as well. I have a contact at a funeral home. He texted earlier that the order he placed on my behalf has come in. I want you to pick it up and to pay him.”
Dom had never been picked for anything in his whole life. No one had ever wanted him on their team and no one had ever placed their trust in him the way Merrick was now. He was honored, proud, and would do anything to not let Merrick down.
“That cop who came here might be a problem,” Merrick went on. “We may have to deal with him, but we’ll leave that for another night. In any case, I want this place cleaned from top to bottom. If the police come, I want them to see nothing out of the ordinary.”
Now that everyone had their marching orders, they dispersed. Merrick handed Dom an evelope stuffed with cash, and Dom slipped it into the pocket of his hoodie. The other team - Joe and Matt - left, while the remaining vampires began tidying up.
A fleet of vehicles waited in the parking lot behind Club Vlad. Dom and Jessie took a black pedo van with no back windows. They drove in silence, the radio off. Dom did not want to hear music, nor did he wish to speak to Jessie. Their kinship was one of blood and circumstance, not one of words and emotions. He had no questions for her and wished to answer none of his own. The only thoughts he had were of the mission ahead and of the growing pain in his skull. He thought of the staring stupid Matt, of the decayed Max, and a shiver went down his spine.
What was left of his humanity recoiled at the idea of becoming like them.
The pain grew hotter, more intense. He forced it away and focused on driving.
The funeral home was on North Allen Street, next to a restaurant called Pepperjack’s. A tall, white house with dark shutters and a sign out front, it looked like a quiet, peaceful place. “Pull around back,” Jessie said.
Dom pulled the van around back and parked under a balcony, killing the headlights. They got out and went to the back door, Jessie in the lead. He assumed that she had done this before and that the seller would recognize her. She knocked, and a few moments later, the door opened. A youngish man with a shaved head appeared, wearing an apron and gloves. He saw them and tensed a little. Dom could smell, rather than sense, his fear, and his throat panged with thirst. “Come on,” the man said quickly. He stepped aside and allowed them to enter. Dom noticed that he walked behind them, wary of putting his back to them. “Do you have the money?”
“Do you have our order?” Jessie countered.
“Yes,” the man said, “I’m really risking my neck for this. They don’t just give embalming fluid away, you know. They keep track of it and if they realize I’m over ordering, someone from the state’s going to come down here and check.”
He led them into an embalming room. Three boxes sat on a table. Dom gave the man his money, and he and Jessie carried the boxes outside, loading them into the van. The whole time they were there, the man was edgy, like he was afraid they were going to attack him. Dom would be a liar if he said that the hot smell of the man’s blood didn’t excite him. Perhaps once his brain rotted away, he wouldn’t be able to control himself, but for now, he could.
A lightning bolt of pain shot through his head and he nearly dropped the last box onto the ground.
Once the man was paid, Dom and Jessie drove back to Club Vlad. In fifteen minutes, they were drinking side by side from two passed out partygoers, their reward for a job well done.
Meanwhile, across the city, Joe and Matt weren’t doing as well. They were standing outside of Heather’s apartment. Joe, slightly annoyed (anger being another emotion vampires could feel, along with fear) pounded on the door. He knew she was in there; he could smell the putrid odor of decay. “Let us in,” he said. “We won’t hurt you.”
Joe could barely remember changing her. He didn’t mean to, it just…happened. Like an unwanted pregnancy. You can bite someone as much as you want and drink as much as you want, but if you take too much at once and they die, you get the vampire equivalent of a baby. Joe liked the hunt. It was exciting. Having his meals brought to him Club Vlad didn’t arouse the same level of excitement. It was like shooting an animal tied to a tree. Or hiring a prostitute instead of wooing someone. No real satisfaction to it.
That was probably his greatest downfall. He had lured Jessie the same way, though Merrick was indeed interested in rescuing her from her grandmother. People you have saved obey just as well as people with no brains.
He felt fluid on his upper lip and sniffed. “Come on, let us in,” he said.
No response.
He looked at Matt and nodded to the door. Together, they rammed their shoulders against it. It shook in its frame. They were both dead and weak, but modern American architecture is even weaker, and the door eventually slammed open. The apartment beyond was dark, messy, and reeked of death. They searched high and low, and eventually found Heather huddled in a corner, trying to hide. She was naked save for a pair of panties, her body bloated and beginning to turn black. Her skin hung from her frame and her eyes were filled with blood and fear. It was a wonder no one had called the police yet. The smell was overpowering. “We’re here to help,” he said. “You have to come with us.”
She shook her head and trembled. Maybe she remembered that he was the one who did this to her. Maybe her memories had rotted away. Those were usually the first to go. Then your emotions, then your personality. Finally, your capacity for higher reasoning. “I’m sorry I did this to you,” he said. That was a lie. He was not remorseful. Nor was he proud, for that matter. It just happened. Like rain. “But I want to help you. We can fix you.”
No amount of coaxing or conjoling could induce her to move. Joe weighed his options. He doubted anyone would call the cops even if they heard the door coming down - people who lived in places like this rarely called the cops, which helped Joe and his cause immensely. Even so, there was the possibility. Every minute they spent here was a minute that something could go wrong, and Joe had a lot to lose.
So, too, did Merrick.
Giving up, Joe took out his cellphone and called Merrick. “She refuses to come,” he said simply.
The line was quiet for a moment, then Merrick’s voice came back. Cold. Calculating. “Then do what you must.”
That was the go ahead.
Hanging up, Joe looked around the apartment and found a wooden chair in the kitchen. He lifted it over his head and slammed it on the counter, shattering it into a million pieces. He selected the longest, sharpest, and sturdiest looking one. He went back into the room and directed Matt to hold her down. She fought, kicked, and spat, but she was weaker than even they were. They had been embalmed. She hadn’t.
Matt pinned her hands above her head and Joe straddled her. Animal terror filled her eyes and she whipped her head from side to side. Joe lifted the makeshift stake with both hands, and brought it down as hard as he could, driving it deep into her heart. Her eyes bulged from their sockets and a high, otherworldly scream ripped from her throat. She bucked, thrashed, and kicked her feet. Her resistance began to ebb away until she was twitching…until she was still.
Heather from OKCupid was dead.
Truly dead.
Joe couldn’t help wondering what it was like.
Pulling the stake out, he tossed it aside and got to his feet, Matt doing likewise. A soul petrifying scream might be cause for even the tightest of lips to start talking. “Let’s go,” he said. And together, he and Matt fled, leaving the poor, dead body of Heather behind.
***
As it turned out, one of Heather’s neighbors did call the cops. At 10;13pm, Vanessa Rodregiez arrived with two patrolmen and found the front door of Apartment 237 knocked down. Guns drawn, they entered, Vanessa at the head. The first thing she noticed was the smell. It jammed itself into her nostrils, shoved its tongue down her throat, and violated her - all without even buying her dinner first.
Vanessa hadn’t been at this as long as her buddy Bruce had, but she knew a dead, rotting body when she smelled one. They searched the premises, and sure enough, they found a vic in the bedroom, lying in the gap between the bed and the wall; it looked like the former had been moved, perhaps in a struggle. Vanessa knelt down to check the vic’s pulse, but stopped.
There was no need.
The vic - who looked like a female but could have been an overweight male - hadn’t had a pulse in a very long time.
Examining the body, Vanessa found a wound in the chest, just above the heart. Black, stinking goo leaked from it, and Vanessa gagged. She fisted her hand to her mouth, retched, and then ran for the kitchen sink. Her partner for the night, Jim Walsh, stared down at the stiff before him, and his face turned a sickly shade of green. He avoided puking because he didn’t nose fuck the wound like Vanessa had, but he wasted no time in getting out there, dry heaving in the hallway where the air was somewhat fresh.
After leaving her lunch in the sink, Vanessa radioed back to headquarters, and before long, the place was crawling with cops. The assistant medical examiner - who had taken over after Ed Harris quit the previous night - knelt over the body and studied it. A solidly built black man with a mustache, his name was Leon and he knew death just as well as his old boss, so when he said the vic had been dead nearly two weeks, Vanessa accepted it.
That begged the question: Who broke in and screamed just now? A relative? The caller clearly heard screaming and peeked out her door to see two males fleeing on foot. Maybe they found the vic and freaked out? Or maybe they were the killers returning to the scene of the crime. After all, the vic had clearly been murdered.
In fact, they found a likely murder weapon. A long sliver of wood soaked in black goo. Blood turns black after a while, but there was something different about this stuff. “What is it?” Vanessa asked Leon.
“I’m not sure,” Leon said and pulled off a pair of Latex gloves he’d donned to examine the vic, “could be blood or…”
“Or what?” Vanessa asked.
“Or something,” Leon said. “Give me a few hours.”
And a few hours it was. Just before 1am, Leon called Vanessa at her desk. “I think you should come down here,” he said.
Fifteen minutes later, Vanessa stood over Leon as he pulled the vic’s chest open with a pair of tweezers. “That’s the heart,” he said, “whoever stabbed her scored a direct hit, but this…this is what concerns me.”
He prodded a furry lump with the tip of his scalpel.
“What is it?” Vanessa asked.
“I don’t know,” he said, “it looks like mold.”
That word - mold - triggered a memory in her brain. “Ed said something about mold last night. He found it in -”
“The Mason boy,” Leon finished.
“Yeah. The one who got up and ran off.”
Leon turned away from Vanessa and looked at the dead woman - for it was a woman. Vanessa got the impression that he didn’t want her to see his expression. “I’ve known Ed ten years. I know something happened last night, but a stiff getting up and walking off? I thought he was confused. Now…I don’t know. That makes two bodies in 24 hours. And get this. The chest wound? It was done post-mortem. I can’t find a cause of death anywhere. Except maybe blood loss but it’s hard to tell at this point. And speaking of blood…”
“What?” Vanessa asked quickly.
“When I opened her stomach up, a whole shit load of blood spilled out. And a lot of it was a lot fresher than she is.”
Vanessa furrowed her brow in confusion. “You mean…?”
“It’s not hers,” Leon said. “I can’t be 100 percent sure until I run tests, but I’d put money on it.”
Vanessa’s head spun with information both new and old. You know that full, heavy feeling you get when a poo is brewing in your guts? That’s kind of what Vanessa was feeling, only in her head instead of her stomach.
Leon was just as mystified by the whole thing as she was and stayed up late to run a few preliminary tests. By sunrise, he had confirmed that the blood inside of Heather’s stomach was not hers. In fact, it had come from at least three different sources. “Is it human?” Vanessa asked over the phone.
“Yes,” Leon said, sounding troubled, “it’s human.”
In the cobalt hour before sunrise, Vanessa sat at her desk and tried to piece this whole thing together. They had:

1. A corpse that (allegedly) woke up and dipped out
2. A dead girl who’d been stabbed in the heart with a piece of wood after somehow ingesting the blood of three different people.
3. Some missing kids
4. Oh, and both bodies - the girl’s and the runaway corpses’ - had the same weird fungus in their heart cavities.

All of this - even the missing kids, Vanessa felt - was related. She just didn’t know how. The only answer that half way fit was that both of those bodies were vampires. Like…what’s a vampire but a dead body that gets up and walks around at night? And how do you kill a vampire? Why, you drive a piece of wood through its heart.
The idea that vampires were real was dumb, but the more she turned it over in her mind, the more she became convinced that it was at least an option. A lot of things people thought were fantastic and made up turned out to be real, so why not vampires too?
Shortly after 8, Bruce came in. He was just sitting down when Vanessa came in and slapped her report on the desk. “Buckle up, bitch,” she said, “things just got weirder.”
He stared up at her with one of those grumpy - but cute -expressions he was so good at putting on. As he read, however, his brow knitted. “Jesus,” he muttered to himself. He pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a weary sigh.
“I have a theory - kind of,” Vanessa said, “but I don’t want to say it.”
“You might as well,” Bruce said. “It can’t be more kooky than reality these days.”
“Okay,” Vanessa started, “what if - and I’m just thinking out loud here - what if there are vampires in Albany?”
She expected Bruce to give her a dirty look, but he chewed it over, actually taking it seriously. “And those missing boys are victims?” he asked finally.
“Yeah,” Vanessa said. “That girl’s been dead two weeks. Maybe she bit Dominick Mason and he came back for revenge after realizing he was cursed to be a goddamn shit sucking vampire forever.”
Bruce nodded. “Yeah, but who turned her?”
“I don’t know,” Vanessa said, “I don’t know.”
***
Before dawn painted the eastern sky, Merrick Garvis sat in his chamber like a withered king, a mess of IVs hooked into his arms and neck. The vault was silent save for the soft noise of the machines as they filtered out the old embalming fluid and replaced it with new embalming fluid. Embalming fluid always made him spacy, like a drug. The others had gone first, and even now lay near comatose around him like addicts in an opium den.
As far as he knew, Merrick was the oldest vampire in the world, perhaps, even, the oldest vampire to ever live. Though he was not fully honest with Dom, he was not lying when he said that vampires rotted like any other dead thing. Conditions considered, you had a few weeks tops if left untreated. There may be living vampires in remote corners of Egypt or the northern most reaches of Russia, where the climate preserved dead things, but unless you made it to one of those places, you were pretty well fucked.
Merrick was not a proud man, nor was he concerned with saving face - the dead have no need for that. He was being truthful when he said that he feared death. What’s more, he feared being helpless. Deep down, vampires are people, and people don’t exactly have the greatest track record with caring for their infirm. He read once that the first sign of a civilization was a broken leg that had healed, as it showed that someone stayed with and cared for a fellow human long enough for them to get well again. In Merrick’s opinion, that was true…and thus there was no civilization. Merrick was fifty-one when he died in the year 1982. In his lifetime, he had seen The Great Depression, World War II, and a million small acts of cruelty and selfishness in between. He’d seen beggars starving in the streets, abused children shuffled out of sight and out of mind, and disdain for the poor and the weak.
The living were awful, and the living dead were no different. Once their humanity rotted away, they cared only about filling their stomachs. They were like ticks - they would drink until their bellies literally ruptured…and then keep on drinking.
That left him in a precarious position. He was old, his body was weak. He couldn’t stand unassisted and if left to fend for himself, he would decay into a pile of bones within days. He would be cursed to lay in one spot for all eternity, aware and hungry, little more than a ghost tethered to a black and still beating heart.
He refused to let that happen to him. Thus, he had created a family, a clan of vampires loyal to him and to him alone. He did this through acts of simple kindness and understanding…but also through deception. He knew, for instance, how to preserve the brain. He’d figured out how to do it early on - you pickle it. Like a fetus preserved in a jar. He sawed off the top of his own head and filled it with a special solution that kept his brain - and his intelligence - intact. It slowly drained out through the nose and ears in a thin, yellow liquid, but it worked well enough. He couldn’t save everything, however, and had lost vital things in the process, such as most of his human memories, his sense of humor, and some motor functions. He shared this secret with only Joe, and a few others before, because he needed a strong captain. He kept the others in the dark because vampires - like people - are easier to control when they don’t think for themselves.
Right about now, however, Merrick was beginning to regret sharing the formula with even Joe. Joe had brought him nothing but grief. Joe, you see, could think for himself. He could make decisions. He could go behind Merrick’s back. Joe had something called free will, and free will is a worse affliction than vampirism. Free will is messy, free will is dangerous.
Free will could very well turn Merrick into a pile of bones.
That was, of course, if they weren’t discovered first. Joe had made several mistakes lately, not least of which was the turning of Heather. Sitting there in the predawn hour, attended by Tony, his gay bartender and human familiar, Merrick decided to have Joe killed. There are only two ways to kill a vampire: The stake and the flame. The latter seemed somehow appropriate in this case. After Joe, there would be no more captains, only him, one father with absolute power. That was how it had to be. One man, one vision. Democracies didn’t work. That was especially clear today. Everyone was so divided and nothing ever got done. If the humans had one strong leader, they might go in the wrong direction, but at least they would go somewhere. Instead, they stagnated.
Merrick didn’t particularly look forward to killing Joe, but it had to be done. To protect the family. To protect him.
And Merrick would do anything…anything at all…to protect himself.
***
Vampires.
Bruce kept coming back to that single wor, hoping each time that he would chuckle at the absurdity of it.
But he never did.
Did that mean he believed it? Not necessarily, but damn it, he considered it a possibility, and that alone was enough to make him feel like a fucking clown. All the evidence he had pointed to vampires, but then again, it might point to other things as well. Like aliens.
But let’s say the whole vampire thing was real. Who, like Vanessa asked, was patient zero? Who started this whole mess?
A name came to mind.
Merrick Garvis.
He had not had time to check into Garvis the previous day, but by God, he was going to do it now. He ran his name and social through the system and everything seemed to check out. Merrick Garvis was born on June 31, 1963 in -
Wait a minute. Weren’t there only 30 days in June?
Bruce checked, and there were, indeed, only 30 days in the month of June. Hm. Bruce did a little digging and found something out. Before 1987, social security numbers weren’t issued at birth. You had to sign up, using other forms of ID. Merrick Garvis applied for his in April 1984 and the date of birth on his state issued driver’s license was June 31. Bruce spent an hour on the phone with the DMV and learned that they had never issued a license to a Merrick Garvis. He then spoke to the Social Security Administration, and after much wrangling and frustration, he managed to get a photocopy of the license Garvis used to get his social security number. It was dated 1983.
The face staring back at him was almost exactly the same face he’d seen at Club Vlad, except maybe a touch less stiff and waxy. Though not as rough looking, there was no way in hell Garvis was 20 in that picture. It had to be a fake,
Bruce thought back to the events of the previous two days. Missing bodies, staked corpses, hearts that still beat after death.
Vampires didn’t seem like such a crazy explanation.
And if anyone was a fucking vampire around here, it was Merrick Garvis.

Recently I moved out and away from my boyfriend of 7 months. I moved in with a friend about an hour away. During the 7 months, it felt like a giant roller coaster. There were an insane amount of highs and lows. When things were good, they were really good, but when they were bad, they were really bad. It became very exhausting over time. On top of it, there were a ton of miscommunication, unresolved conflicts, him refusing to apologize or take accountability, him cutting me off constantly in conversations, not having my basic needs met, and resentment developing due to all of it. I spent months trying to communicate anything to him which always led him to being very defensive and shutting down. I was accused of creating problems and a bunch of "I didn't start anything so nothing was wrong or my fault" statements from him. If an issue was brought up and discussing it turned into an argument, he would physically become cold and distant from me for a couple of days after. In arguments he always spun it around about his abuse growing up, his abandonment issues, his ego problems, etc. It always made me feel worse for even trying to bring anything up to him. I always felt sorry and sad for him to have experienced so much pain in life. I eventually gave up on trying to communicate and shut down for the last 3 months of living with him.
Some other things that went on:
I am a full time student and I work on top of it. Finding time to do my school work without him pestering me became difficult. If I tried to do any homework at home, he would play a game or music loudly, ask me what I was doing, attempt to show me videos, etc (he worked from home so he was constantly there.) It felt like it was more than he could stand I couldn't give him attention 24/7. If I took my laptop to a cafe or the library, he was texting me asking me where I was and getting upset if I ignored him. It would blow up into arguments later on so I stopped doing that.
My job I worked second shift as a manager at a local store. He would constantly criticize it and say it wasn't a good job, the pay wasn't good enough, it wasn't giving me the relevant experience for my degree, I should change it, I should get a work from home job instead, I'm constantly gone at night, etc. I enjoyed the job because it got me out of the house and interacting with people.
He rarely cleaned. Dishes with food caked on them always left in the sink for me to clean up later. If I didn't, he would let them sit for days or even weeks. I would mention for him to do them but he never would. I always washed my own dishes and put them away when I was done. He would live out of a laundry basket mixed with clean and dirty clothing. He never vacuumed, mopped, picked up after himself, and constantly forgot to fill the water bowl for the cat and dog.
There was a bunch of other things too but those are just a couple.
The day I moved, I didn't tell him I was moving. I listened to my family and friends to not tell him anything. He was incredibly mad and upset with me. I was a monster, normal people don't just move out, a liar, a cheater, must be some other guy, etc. The person I moved in with is a female friend. I moved everything on my own into a moving van.
Since I moved, he has been making attempts to keep the relationship going. I feel vulnerable, tired, and exhausted. My brain has been extremely foggy since then. I feel confused and like I am having "withdrawal" symptoms from him. I have talked to to him on 2 occasions on the phone regarding everything since. He tells me he is changing and becoming a better person. He recognizes all the mistakes and wants to work stuff out. He even said he would see a couples therapist, even after he made multiple statements about how therapists give bad advice in the past. Part of my brain keeps holding on to him and I don't know why. It makes me feel sick. I have attempted to break things off with him and talked to him about how everything has made me feel but he refuses to take no for answer. He's like a totally different person.
I am not sure what to do I feel stuck, tired, vulnerable, and cloudy. I have never experienced someone like this before. My previous relationship were very different and ended on fairly amicable terms. Part of me wants to find out if he truly is willing to change and step up but part of me says don't do it.
I feel so torn on what to do?

My girlfriends had a rough night last night and has been very dry today not talking to me once. Then she wouldn’t even text unless it was a one worded response. But then she talks to a guy friend she has.. and for the record she had a rough night bc of home issues but anyways she talks to him and says it was abt me and wouldn’t even tell me what it was abt until I kept asking and she said it was abt me giving him dirty looks and her saying I have a resting bitch face.. first off she knows I don’t feel comfortable with him and today was also the day we got in a lil argument because of how she was acting towards me like it’s my fault and it really hurts and idk what to do everything is just a mess and when I tried to communicate it with her she just went on dnd we have been dating for seven months. Can you guys give me any advice?

Updated with autopsy results.
Morphew Case Map - Google My Maps - Barry's iPhone Data - Google My Maps - Barry's Truck Events - Google My Maps
August 5, 1994 – Suzanne Moorman marries Barry Morphew The Alexandria Times-Tribune Alexandria, Indiana 05 Jan 1994, Wed • Page 4
December 1999 – Barry and Suzanne Purchase 26040 Cal Carson Rd, Arcadia, IN This is the house where he dug a hole in the yard and buried everything he didn't want to move to Colorado. (AA ft 55 page 53)
November 2013 – Suzanne Inherits $208,000 upon the Passing of her Mother. MB provided documents that Suzanne inherited approximately $208,000 in 2013 at the passing of her mother.
August 2016 – Suzanne inherits $217,000 upon the death of a grandmother. Suzanne’s grievance list included multiple references to Barry controlling the finances.
April 12, 2018 – The Morphew’s Purchase 19057 Puma Path Barry and Suzanne Morphew purchase 19057 Puma Path for $1,575,000.
June 1, 2018 – The Morphews move to Colorado. (PH – Harris) SA Harris: Yeah, they moved in 2018. I believe they left around June 1st, 2018. to move to Colorado. So roughly a year and a half of the time is what Sheila originally said in that.
September 2018 – Suzanne sends “Howdy stranger” message to JL First contact since high school.
Fall 2018 – Libler’s daughter sees messages from Suzanne on his phone. Libler breaks it off.
Thanksgiving 2018 – Barry obsessive/possessive. While Suzanne was at the Oliver’s house, she had stepped away from her cell phone to use the restroom, and Barry tried calling her several times within a few minutes, then tried calling Sheila, then tried calling Darin.
Holidays 2018 – Suzanne finds Libler’s LinkedIn Page. Relationship Rekindled
January 2019 – The Mexico trip where Barry took Suzanne’s phone Mexico trip mentioned in the grievances list where Barry took Suzanne's phone.
February 11 – 14, 2019 – Suzanne in New Orleans with Libler Barry admitted to questioning Suzanne about the New Orleans trip, further evidence he suspected the affair.
April 2019 – Suzanne meets up with Libler in Indiana She does not see SO on this trip.
July 2019 – Suzanne and Libler meet up in Michigan Barry called SO while Suzanne was in MI visiting her fatheJL, wanting to know why Suzanne wasn't returning his calls.
September 2019 – Barry stalks Suzanne and Shelia Oliver, creeping through woods. Barry stalked Suzanne and Sheila at the Puma Path house in September 2019. This is upon his early return from a trip to Arizona.
October 2019 – Libler and Suzanne in Dallas Suzanne and Libler spend two nights at the Galleria.
September – November 2019 – Barry aggressively pursues KW around Salida. From the first time KW met Barry, she said it felt like "he was putting his tentacles out."
Holidays 2019 – Suzanne and Libler stop talking on the phone because she is afraid Barry will find out. They shift to more covert ways to communicate. Barry's second device makes its first appearance.
January/February 2020 – Suzanne in Florida, gets spy pen, sees Libler Suzanne in Florida, SO gives her the spy pen during this trip. Suzanne records a conversation with Libler on this trip.
Late February 2020 – Suzanne in Florida, sees father and Libler. Suzanne skips out on time with her father to see Libler. Barry goes to Florida.
March 2020 – Spy pen records argument between Suzanne and Barry. “It’s money. It’s about money.” “… I have lived for years being told how I should feel, how I should act, how I should look, what I should drink, what I shouldn’t drink, what I should put in my body, what I shouldn’t put in my body … ”
March 20, 2020 – Jekyll and Hyde text exchange between Suzanne and SO, MM2 suggests restraining order. "It’s Jekyl and Hyde again … Pretty much told him I can’t be healthy and stay in this."
March 22, 2020 – Spy pen records Barry listening to Forensic Files episodes, call with Suzanne on drive to Pueblo Coincidentally one of the episodes involved a woman "disappearing" after a bike ride.
April 21, 2020 – Messages between Suzanne and Libler “I want to be with you,” “I can only be me with you,” I love you,” “I need you.” “You know I was born to love you.”
May 4, 2020 16:05 – Barry makes 3 second outgoing call to Suzanne This was the first logged call in Barry’s phone to or from Suzanne since February 7, 2020.
May 5, 2020 – Suzanne drives MM2 to Gunnison Suzanne drives Macy to Gunnison, CO to meet MM1 for a road/camping trip through Utah and Idaho with MM1's best friend.
May 6, 08:44 – Suzanne sends MM2 a text “Good morning! I miss you already!”
May 6, 10:13 – Suzanne: “I’m done. I could care less what you’re up to and have been for years.” From 14:43 to 17:00 Barry replied, “When I’m dead,” “Going to see my savior,” and “This life on earth is a mear (sic) grain of sand compared to eternity.”
May 6, 2020 – 14:43 – From Barry to Suzanne: “I’m sorry if things went the way they did. I have a problem dealing with the way you accused me of hiding checks. If you think I’m as terrible of a person to hide our accounts and have ones you don’t know about you don’t know me. All I do is for you and the girls. All. When I'm dead, which won't be long, you guys will be taken care of. Please stop being angry. If I can control my hurt heart I think I can overcome your distant unlovingness toward me. Honey, I swear it's the hardest thing I've had to do. I love you I always will.”
May 6, 2020 – 15:51 – Barry to Suzanne: “I promise you were wrong about all the crazy thoughts about me. I have always been faithful. Always. Why would I ever want another when I'm married to the most beautiful, sweet, kind, loving, woman as you? Only a fool would stray from an angel like you.”
May 07, 2020 – Suzanne messages Libler about how magical past days had been. Barry wants a new truck. 16:43 - “Been studying all afternoon. I’m gonna bike now. I’ve got veggie soup on for supper.”
May 7, 2020 – SB puts new tires on Suzanne’s bike Bike mechanic was interviewed by law enforcement.
May 7, 17:13:52 – Barry Works Out at GD’s House Truck log files place Barry at GD's home at 5:13 pm.
May 7, 2020 23:00 – “I finally got the job” text from MM1 goes unanswered. Q (Lindsey): Anything on May 6th that didn’t seem normal? Was there a text from Mallory to Mr. Morphew? A (Grusing): I believe that’s the night of May 7th. Mallory, Macy, and their friend Holly are out on a trip towards Utah and Mallory is sending pictures to both Suzanne and Barry but I was ... Read more
May 08, 07:03 – The Grievance List: Suzanne’s phone backs up a list of 50 reasons why she wanted to leave marriage on “Notes” Not safe alone with you. Can’t be trusted - Oppressive - Slam on brakes when angry - Threaten to jump out of car - Gun ...
May 08, 08:43 – “I will continue to do your invoicing when you need to.” "When FBI Agents showed Barry these texts during interviews in 2021, he said he did not think Suzanne was serious."
May 08, 09:28 – Suzanne texts sister about Barry’s abuse. “It’s hard dealing with the harsh abrasiveness and having to show respect. He’s also been abusive, emotionally and physically. There’s so much … I went thru a period of acceptance and I feel more angry now. Anger at what I’ve allowed.”
May 08, 10:55 Barry: “I Love You, Suzanne.” “But, in the afternoon, it (the text fight) was like it never happened. She texted me back and it was just like, ‘Hey, what time are you coming home? Hey, this or that. Just pick this up or pick that up.'”
May 08, 13:18 – Barry texts Salida Stove and Spa about getting the hot tub fixed. "Asking when he could come out to the home."
May 08, 15:43 – Barry’s iPhone receives an SMS message associated with the unknown device This second device was first used on November 30,2019 and was associated with Barry’s iPhone 91 times since then, compared to 1,701 associations with the primary User ID since November 2019.
May 8, 19:06 – Moonlight Pizza and Phone Calls Barry convinces Suzanne to meet him at the Tailwinds site before going to pick up Moonlight Pizza together.
May 08, 21:04 – 20 Facebook friend requests, 3 men named “Jeff.” Barry’s lurking at the River. Barry was asked about his phone pinging down by the river during the Facebook posts on Friday night and asked if he was outside. Barry said, “I could have been. I don’t remember. I chase critters around the house all the time.”
May 09, 00:02 – Incoming call on Suzanne’s phone (PH CAST) Incoming call on Suzanne’s phone (PH CAST)
May 09, 02:07 – Outgoing call on Suzanne’s phone (PH CAST) 02:07 am outgoing call on SM’s phone (PH CAST)
May 09, 06:00 – Barry’s phone received call (PH CAST) 06:00 am BM’s phone received call (PH CAST)
May 09, 06:46 – Barry’s phone registered “Power On” Comes out of Airplane mode.
May 09, 07:19 – Barry’s cell received signal (PH) Barry’s cell received signal (PH)
May 09, 07:22 – 07:39 – Barry at “Tailwinds” worksite Barry’s phone registered locations at his “Tailwinds” work site near Poncha Springs.
May 09, 07:35 – Suzanne texting SO Discussing Sheila's daughters wedding on Sunday.
May 09, 08:00 – MG was with Barry working on the rock beach site until 10am(?). Gentile: “He said that he had to go make the wife happy – do some hiking or biking.”
May 9 – Morning – Suzanne messaging Jeff “He’s still wanting Arizona.”
May 09, 09:50 – Barry to Suzanne: Want to go on hike? *Text Exchange\* Barry to Suzanne: Want to go on hike?
May 9, 2020 – 11:14 – Suzanne received a second password reset message from Facebook Previous reset was while Barry was down by the river on the evening of the 8th.
May 09, 11:15 est. – Barry tells Morgan Gentile he could “bury a body” and it “would never be found.” Gentile: “He seemed stressed. He definitely seemed weird on Saturday.”
May 09, 11:55 – Dead Turkey Hunt or Barry Takes Down His Trail Cameras Barry said he was looking for a turkey that Mallory had shot previously with a bow, but they had never found.
May 09, 13:35 – Barry leaves home again. Checked on job at Kim Gyms
May 9, 13:40(?) – Suzanne texts Libler Guess who is alone again?
May 09, 13:46 – Barry and the backhoe After texting, Barry drove by TK's house to see the backhoe, but did not get back in touch to buy it. In 2018, Barry used a backhoe to dig a large hole in his front yard, fill it with items to include furniture, and cover it over, planting alfalfa on top.
May 09, 13:51 – 14:13 – Barry at DSI, replacing Bobcat blade He was wearing a blue t-shirt and khaki shorts.
May 09, 14:03 – Suzanne sends sunbathing pic to Libler, last proof of life. “Well, look at her. She’s obviously drunk. Look at her eyes. Do you know what drunk eyes look like?
May 09, 14:11 – Suzanne sends last LinkedIn message to Libler: “I’m on wa.” Libler sent response messages at 2:39PM, 2:46PM and 2:47PM that Suzanne did not answer.
May 09, 14:26 – Barry texts Suzanne, “Done headed back.” He texted Suzanne that he was done and was headed home.
May 09, 14:31 – Barry texted Suzanne, “Did you leave.” At 2:31 PM, Barry texted Suzanne, “Did you leave.”
May 09, 14:39 – Libler messages Suzanne, she does not respond. First unread. Messages from LinkedIn show they were talking about how Suzanne is in love with Jeff before she went missing.
May 09, 14:43 – Barry’s phone and F-350, per telematics, arrive at the Morphew residence. "The photo is shown in the courtroom, Suzanne smiling. Truck GPS coordinates show Barry’s truck goes into park at 2:43:59. Phone coordinates show he walks around the house. You can hear a pin drop in the courtroom as tension is high." - Carol McKinley, PH Tweet
May 09, 14:44 – Shooting Chipmunks? Barry had a .22 in the moments when Suzanne ceased the communicate with everyone she loved in the world. Shooting Chipmunks? Barry had a .22 in the moments when Suzanne ceased the communicate with everyone she loved in the world. (See: https://www.reddit.com/SuzanneMorphew/comments/17lfboz/barry_and_the_chipmunks_aa_excerpts/ )
May 09, 14:46 – Libler messages: “Hey … your weather looks great” Second unread. No response from Suzanne.
May 09, 14:47 – Jeff sends another messages to Suzanne with no response. Third unread. Jeff sends last message if the day to Suzanne with no response.
May 09, 16:00 – 17:30 – Defense says Barry was at Salida Stove and Spa Salida Stove and Spa's posted hours have the store closing at 2pm on Saturday. Telematics show Barry's truck in his garage during the time he was supposedly at Salida Stove and Spa.
May 09, 16:44 – Barry parks his truck in the garage. Barry claims to have been loading his truck and cleaning off his workbench. (See: https://www.google.com/maps/d/edit?hl=en&mid=1FSqlFRrywR8FkytAYkNM-bdSxvKVK5MP&ll=39.173623131314%2C-105.63244&z=8)
May 09, 17:33 – Barry’s truck system manually rebooted Barry attempted to disable the trucks GPS and SYNC features.
May 09, 18:40, 18:46 – SO sends two Snapchats to Suzanne that were never opened SO sends two Snapchats to Suzanne that were never opened
May 09, 21:25 – Barry’s truck goes into reverse, backs 96.8 feet down driveway Barry backs 96 feet out of the garage.
May 09, 22:17 – Barry’s Phone Exits out of Airplane Mode Barry's phone comes out of airplane mode at the Morphew residence.
May 10, 02:53 – Outgoing call on Suzanne’s phone Possible glitch.
May 10, 03:25 – 03:48 – Barry’s truck door opened and closed "SA Hoyland noted over eighty events involving the F350 during this timeframe."
May 10, 03:58 – Barry’s phone moves from home to near where Suzanne’s bike found 3:58 am BM cell moves from home to near 225/50 where bike found Carol McKinley PH Tweets (read from bottom tweet up): 431 am 5/10 Barry’s phone goes back into airplane mode at the his home. 5:37 am – morphew turns into buena vista & heads towards broomfield. 538 he texts his mom “happy ... Read more
May 10, 04:10 – 04:23 – Last Activity from Suzanne’s iPhone Sergeant Mullenax asked dispatch to ping the number given for Suzanne’s cell phone. Dispatch informed Mullenax that the cell phone appeared to be off and last known activity was at 4:23AM on the present date, with a general location about 11.5 miles west of a cell tower in Poncha Springs, CO.
May 10, 04:32 – Barry’s Phone Goes Back into Airplane Mode Barry's Phone Goes Back into Airplane Mode
May 10, 04:32 – 05:14 – Chasing Elk, or Staging Evidence? Barry's trip to Garfield adds an approximate five miles each way to his morning trip, and places Barry and his vehicle in the direction the helmet was discarded - west from the bicycle.
May 10, 05:00 – Morgan Gentile Hears Barry’s Truck on Hwy 50 Gentile stated she did not see the truck but that his truck has a very distinctive exhaust.
May 10, 05:14 – 06:56 – Barry on the road to Broomfield. Barry phone exits airplane mode while heading towards Buena Vista, CO.
May 10, 08:10 – Trash Dump #1 – RTD Bus Stop Hwy 36 Agent Grusing: "Yes. He would have time -- with the passenger door opening and closing -- like it would say passenger door opened at 8:10:36 am and then passenger door closed at 8:12:13 am. So it took about a minute and a half and that trash can is only 10 to 15 steps away from where the truck was parked."
May 10, 08:14 – 08:20 Holiday Inn Express, Broomfield. Trash Dump #2 Grusing: "He said he parked there because he hoped someone would come out and he could go in the hotel before checking in and get a free breakfast." (Note: It was mid-COVID lockdown, building capacities were down to single digits.)
May 10, 08:41 – 08:46 – “I made it to Broomfield call me when you get a chance” Barry texts Suzanne.
May 10, 08:46 – Barry carries items into the Holiday Inn Express “If there’s clothes in my truck, there was probably old clothes I threw away.”
May 10, 10:06 – Barry exits hotel room. He's carrying a charcoal long-sleeved shirt, two white bags, and a pair of boots.
May 10, 10:20 – 10:41 – McDonald’s – Trash Dump #3 SA Grusing said Barry had a small item in his hand and used one arm to push it down, then both to push it further down as Barry was shown the photos.
May 10, 10:47 – 11:18 – Men’s Wearhouse Trash Dump #4 Barry was told he was there for about 40 minutes and asked if he remembered what he was doing there. Barry said, “I think I was still cleaning my truck, umm, yeah, yeah I mean, like I said, I just uh, I would, I was probably getting crap out of my truck like I said, which I’ve done my whole entire life.”
May 10, 11:18 – Barry calls MG "Barry called he was out of breathe (sic) panting but fatigue, kind a like hungover but he doesn’t drink, honestly when I hung up I thought to myself he sounded like he had the worst night of his life.” - MG
May 10, 11:23 – 11:36 – Barry back at the HIE Barry carries in disorganized papers in a binder. Carries out an organized binder.
May 10, 11:57 – 12:25 – Barry at the worksite Barry spent 28 minutes removing a few blocks from the wall.
May 10, 12:28 – 12:41 – HIE Trash Dump #5 A camera recorded Barry throwing away: a small item, one white trash bag, larger in size than the previous bags in one hand, a black container, along with a piece of clothing, possibly a camouflage coat.
May 10, 12:42 – 18:03 – Barry remains in his HIE room. ”At 3:30PM, Barry sent an outgoing message to Suzanne 'Call me'"
May 10, 2020 (Time Unknown) – Libler wishes Suzanne a Happy Mother’s Day Commented that it would be a hard day because she missed her own mother.
May 10, 2020 – 15:30 – Barry texts Suzanne from his hotel room. At 3:30PM, Barry sent an outgoing message to Suzanne “Call me”
May 10, 15:50 – 17:45 – Suzanne is discovered “missing” “I’m just so sad and REDCATED and I texted mom for Mother’s Day and she still hasn’t answered and I’m scared her and dad probably got in a big fight and I don’t even know it just made me want to be gone even more because I don’t want to be around them it hurts me and I know if REDACTED is working I might have to be home a lot more and it’ll probably be the worst summer of my life.”- MM2 text.
May 10, 17:55 – 19:10 – Barry leaving Broomfield 6:10 pm - Barry entered the lobby carrying two shovels and placed them beside the front desk. He made subsequent trips, placing more tools in the same spot.
May 10, 19:31 – Chaffee County finds the bike “Something is up with the front tire,” Deputy Brown
May 10, 20:42 – Barry arrives at CR 255 & US 50 "Barry is heard asking if deputies saw any “cats” on the road and a deputy says not recently."
May 10, 21:37 – CCSO Commander Avila brings Barry into the house for scent items. Barry does not call out or look for his wife in the home.
May 10, After 21:47 – Barefoot prints in the Bobcat Bucket Deputy Brown was walking in the driveway when Deputy Defurio told him that there were barefoot marks inside of the bucket on the Bobcat. Deputy Brown went with him to examine and found that the cutting blade on the bucket of the Bobcat appeared to be newly replaced, along with the nuts and bolts.
May 10, 22:00 – MG and JP smell chlorine and have the wrong tools in Broomfield. “It looked like Barry had removed top caps that was it. We also did not have the tools we need like a packer or gravel.”
May 11, 2020 – First Interviews, Puma Path Searched "On May 11, 2020, at about 7:00AM, Barry called Morgan and said that Suzanne was missing and he thought a mountain lion may have attacked her. Morgan explained that Barry was initially crying but then abruptly shifted to the specifics about the Broomfield job."
May 11, 2020 – 14:47 – Libler sends last message to Suzanne. Wishing her well for her scheduled final cancer treatment that day.
May 12, 2020 – 20:00 – Barry found digging in the trash at Poncha Market “He went to write down a description of maybe what she was wearing,” Butala said. “I just thought it was weird because he didn’t explain what the color of her eyes were or her hair or anything about her, like how tall she was or anything.”
May 13, 2020 – Deputy Carricato took photos of scratches on Barry’s left arm and hands. These injuries appeared to be healing, several days old scratches.
May 13, 2020 – Fundraiser created $33,552 raised
May 17, 2020 – 11:13 – Barry’s “plea” video is released on Facebook. “Oh Suzanne, if anyone is out there and can hear this, that has you, please, we’ll do whatever it takes to bring you back. We love you, we miss you, your girls need you. No questions asked, however much they want – I will do whatever it takes to get you back. Honey, I love you, I want you back so bad.”
May 19, 2020 – Interviews, Pneu-Darts, Range Rovers "CCSO Deputy Scott Himschoot was present during the search at 19057 Puma Path, in the laundry room, and was asked to collect a “pneu-dart box, empty,” one plastic hypodermic cover, one Pneu-dart book from safe in garage, one dart from box under bench in garage, among other items. The plastic cover was located by evidence search teams in the dryer, inside of the sheets belonging to REDACTED bed." (At some point we had confirmation of a to-do list Suzanne left including MM1s bedding in hopes that the older girls would spend the night. Cannot remember the source.)
May 20, 2020 – Spy Pen found. "The pen was located in a cloth bin amongst women’s bras. The cloth bin and pen were inside the walk-in closet in the master bedroom, located on the ground level of the residence. Detective Hysjulien located, with the pen, the controller and headphones for playback and a USB cable."
June 1, 2020 – Barry files for guardianship. Within a month of Suzanne’s disappearance, Barry began to liquidate assets.
June 1, 2020 – TD interviews Barry on camera. "So, uh -- we uh --. We had two daughters that were coming home from a trip. And I got a job in Denver that I wanted to get started on on Sunday. Set it up for my work because my rookies are coming in Sunday night. (Unintelligible) Monday but I, being the owner, I wanted to get everything lined up so that (Unintelligible).
June 6, 2020 – Barry closes on IN home. Pockets $750,000
June 25, 2020 – Barry purchases the Longhorn Ranch property for $165,000 Property Address 8366 LONGHORN DR
July 13, 2020 – Barry sells Suzanne’s Range Rover. Leaves Suzanne's sunglasses in the car.
Aug 20, 2020 – Lauren Scharf Interviews Barry “People don’t know the truth, so they’re gonna think what they’re gonna think.”
October 05, 2020 – Barry lists Puma Path home for sale. Originally listed for $1,759,000.
November 2020 – Barry Commits Voter Fraud Barry filled out Suzanne's ballot and mailed it in.
February 17, 2021 – Barry Sells Longhorn Ranch property for $150,000 A $15,000 loss. Same property sold on 04/21/2021 for $175,000, indicating Barry needed the money fast.
March 3, 2021 – 19057 Puma Path sells for $1,625,000. Barry and Suzanne Morphew purchased the home on April 12, 2018 for $1,575,000.
May 4, 2021 – Warrant Issued for the Arrest of Barry Lee Morphew CRS/CHARGE: 18-3-102 (1), (a) Murder in the First Degree, a class 1 Felony, 18-8-610. Tampering with Physical Evidence, a class 6 felony, 18-8-306, Attempt to Influence a Public Servant, a class 4 Felony.
May 5, 2021 – 09:15 – Barry Lee Morphew Arrested for the murder of Suzanne Renee Moorman Morphew "Morphew was arrested around 9:15 a.m. on Wednesday, May 5 near his home in Poncha Springs. FOX31 News has obtained video of the arrest, which shows his truck stopped on the side of the road near several police vehicles. He can be seen standing just off the road with an officer." AA: https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/21065843-21cr78-morphew-redacted-affidavit
August 9-12, 2021 – Preliminary Hearing. Day One: https://docs.google.com/document/d/15wZ86C3zQ6kh9VGOUCJcr0ipCoFeaXkdowmwyaruiIQ/edit?usp=drive_link
Day Two: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QKa1jcH2dAqe9Wezew-KbLCDuicrm1HgfwC4oGwM8Dg/edit?usp=drive_link
Day Three got corrupted so it's gone.
People's exhibit images: https://imgur.com/a/hgvlBUt Defense exhibit images: https://imgur.com/a/VC3ZfUZ
April 19, 2022 - Case against Barry Morphew Dismissed Without Prejudice. Prosecution asked for the case to be dismissed.
May 2, 2023 – Barry files $15,000,000 lawsuit against Chaffee County, et.al. https://www.9news.com/article/news/local/barry-morphew-lawsuit/73-3cea50c2-cdae-4338-8de9-9e113d33db6c
May 8, 2023 – Fraud Lawsuit filed against Barry in Indiana. Property dispute. https://denvergazette.com/news/courts/barry-morphew-sued-fraud-allegations-land-dispute/article_1c7cd90e-f4f5-11ed-9778-47c9c303d16d.html
September 22, 2023 – Suzanne's Remains Found Near Moffat in Saguache County While SCSO was searching for another (unrelated) missing woman. https://www.cbsnews.com/colorado/news/suzanne-morphew-remains-found-colorado-missing-mother-barry-chaffee-county-disappearance/
Sept. 27, 2023 – Autopsy Completed. Awaiting Toxicology. https://cbi.colorado.gov/news-article/suzanne-morphew-autopsy-results-cbi-update-0https://www.cbsnews.com/colorado/news/autopsy-complete-remains-missing-colorado-mom-suzanne-morphew/
April 29, 2024 – Toxicology finds BAM in Suzanne's bone marrow. “Homicide by undetermined means in the setting of butorphanol, azaperone, and medetomidine intoxication.” https://www.scribd.com/document/727780041/Suzanne-Morphew-autopsy-results https://www.cpr.org/2024/04/29/suzanne-morphew-died-by-homicide-with-tranquilizer-chemicals-present-in-body-according-to-autopsy-report/
Complete Case Overview (Official News Reports and Documents)
What Suzanne Left Behind (PH Exhibits)
Suzanne's Texts with SO Sept 2019
Barry's Unstableness: Suzanne's Text Conversion with SO September 1 (PH Exhibits)
Where was Barry on the 9th - Preliminary Hearing Exhibits
Barry and the Chipmunks (AA Excerpts)
Barry's dirty truck and poorly maintained rifle. PH Exhibits
Suzanne's Last Days - Timeline - May 4th - May 9th, 2020
Barry Buries a Body - May 10th, 2020 - Timeline
Barry Busy in Broomfield Part One (Preliminary Hearing Exhibits)
Barry Busy in Broomfield Part Two (PH Exhibits)

FYI, this is a story COLLECTION. Lots of standalones technically. So, you can basically start to read at any chapter, no pre-read of the other chapters needed technically (other than maybe getting better descriptions of characters than: Adam Vir=human, Krill=antlike alien, Sunny=tall alien, Conn=telepathic alien). The numbers are (mostly) only for organization of posts and continuity.
OC Written by Charlie Stastarrfallknightrise,
Typed up and then posted here by me.
Proofreading and language check for some chapters by u/Finbar9800 u/BakeGullible9975 u/Didnotseemecomein and u/medium_jock
Future Lore and fact check done by me.
*Starts to cry* I am so so happy! Isn’t that great? Finally some good news and great things to go forward!
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Breaking News tonight from the Apollo 11 memorial landing site, as Admiral Adam Vir and Captains Warren Richards and Mary Chavez were rescued from the Pacific Ocean, following a journey that was supposed to be historical, turned harrowing. Amy Grey comes to us this morning with the story.
Thank you Julie, it was only a week ago here on the historic Cape Canaveral launch site, that the reconstructed Saturn V rocket was launched by the UNSC International Space and Aeronautics Division on the two thousand and fifty first anniversary of the original Apollo 11 mission. On board The reconstructed rocket were astronauts Fleet Admiral Adam Vir, head of the UNSC deep space exploration division, Captain Warren Richards five year veteran and historical aeronautics expert, and Mary Chavez, six year shuttle pilot veteran, and communications specialist.
The reconstructed Saturn V rocket took off thirty minutes behind schedule at 10:03 GMT July 16 after delays attributed to engineering standbys. However, reports by UNSC investigation early this morning indicate that the delays were called for by engineering head Jade Clein who noticed something strange during her final checks of the Saturn V recreated rocket.
In an interview early today, flight director, Aaliyah Seif of the Apollo re-creation mission informed outlets that there was evidence of attempted tampering on the hull of the Saturn V rocket. The tampering case in the shape of these small silver tape strips covering loosened bolts along one of the Saturn V side panels. Engineers stated that the tape was not heat resistant and would have burned off in time to rattle the bolts loose and, likely, cause a devastating spin that would destroy the rocket.
While this attempted tampering was thwarted, the mission would only become more dire. A sudden and shocking report by Mericanda News 5 showed an uncut image of an unknown alien hybrid woman claiming that the UN President had ordered the attempted assassination of Admiral Vir, in conjunction with an audio recording by Admiral Colter Massie, Head of the Galactic intelligence division and known isolationist, that admitted to the attempted assassination of Admiral Vir, and the acquisition of twenty Thunderhawk’s, which were used to harry the Saturn V on its way to the moon. Admiral Kelly, longtime friend of Admiral Vir, corroborated the story, saying she caught General Massie just after he ordered the deployment of the twenty Thunderhawk’s. During their conversion, he attempted to kill her, before being detained by two members of Admiral Vir's crew, and was later seen being escorted into custody by Military Police.
Indeed, footage has been captured from the hull of the Saturn V, showing approximately twenty Thunderhawk’s attempting to destroy the rocket while Rundi remote piloted drones and an unknown group of what appear to be racing jets, fought back to delay the attack, while word was sent to the UNSC to deploy F-90 Darkfire pilots to assist. This all after communications between Houston and the rocket were sabotaged shortly after leaving orbit. The F-90 Darkfire pilots were able to arrive on time to rescue the rocket, though a hole was reportedly torn in the hull, sucking Admiral Vir out into space. Luckily, he was later recovered and returned to his ship without any injuries. Patch teams were then able to repair the torn hull and the astronauts completed their mission landing to crowds on the moon and returning to earth on time, landing in the Pacific Ocean only nine miles away from the waiting ship.
All three astronauts were recovered and are reported to be in good health.
The investigation into the UN president's involvement is still ongoing at this time, however preliminary reports from the Global Bureau of Investigation suggest evidence is both staggering and damning to the current UN president, who earlier today, attempted to cut all ties to the sabotage efforts, saying she was framed. Political experts report that, even assuming her innocence, she will likely not last to the end of her term.
International News Network was able to interview Admiral Vir shortly after his landing while still on board the rescuing ship UNSS Victory.
Here is what the Admiral had to say:
"I find it... Really very disheartening that someone we all trusted, and someone that we all should have looked up to could do something like this. It really is a heinous demonstration of what political corruption can lead people to do."
"And how do you feel, personally about all of this?"
"Personally, I... well to be honest I am hurt and appalled. Not to mention that I fear for the safety of my family and my friends. Every day I wonder if my involvement with them is going to get someone I love killed... The thought haunts me, but I hope after all of this is over I... and all of us can breathe a little easier."
"Were you scared?"
"I don't think that even needs to be a question. Of course I was scared, getting sucked out of your spaceship isn't ideal."
"What do you hope will happen now?"
"I hope that justice can be upheld to those who deserve it."
"What do you have to say to the UN president."
”...”
”So?”
"I have nothing to say. Wouldn't want to waste the air.”
[…]
What followed would be one of the largest scandals in recent political history. At some point an unknown number of classified government documents was leaked onto the internet, and after that it was all over for the Presidency. Thousands of enterprising humans, and aliens alike, viewed the documents to discover all the underhanded and dirty things which had been going on in the UN governmental body over the past few years. Forensic accounting experts (mostly Tesraki), uncovered plenty of fiscal tampering which shed light on plenty of isolationist related projects and bank accounts. There was even evidence that they had something to do with the original assassination attempt against Admiral Vir so many months ago. The drama had even managed to capture the attention of Rundi political experts and Vrul computer science geniuses, and together they unearthed a world of unfathomable, but not unexpected corruption. The process to remove the UN president from office was probably one of the fastest movements of human government ever seen by UN congressional leaders, who were likely trying their very best to distance themselves from association with the president, who despite not being the only one involved, had become the political scapegoat for everyone else that had a supposed link with isolationism.
Even the VP fell under suspicion and was watched closely for the rest of his term.
Admiral Massie and the UN President were placed under arrest and set up for court dates in the nearing future, though everyone saw a long and arduous litigation process ahead. Even Ramirez's family had filed for damages against the government after the news came to light, confirming that their son had been shot as collateral in one of the UN presidents plans to assassinate Admiral Vir. They settled out of court to the tune of an unknown, but impressive sum of money.
No one really knew how much, but a couple months later Ramirez's younger sister was seen training at one of the most prestigious Olympic academies on earth.
Ramirez himself was suddenly able to afford housing on the moon in a condo just next door to his best friend, though no one else inquired further.
The Rundi chairwoman came forward with her own investigation, admitting to being suspicious for a long time though she feared accusations without proper proof. Admiral Vir was seen having lunch with her not so many months after the events took place, suggesting that the trust between the two of them had not been completely dissolved. With much of the isolationist element gone from government, public policy began to lean heavily towards integration with the alliance. The occasional isolationist demonstration or protest was held, but none of them managed to gain traction.
Admiral Vir was finding himself more important than ever, though it was to his chagrin that his ship was grounded for the intervening months while the investigation continued.
No one was entirely sure what the future held.
[…]
Admiral Vir stepped into Admiral Kelly's office. The last time he had actually visited her here had been over a few years ago, before his promotion to captain of the Harbinger. It seemed so distant now, and he never expected to walk into her office with a star on his shoulder. She stood as he entered, and the two of them shook hands, ignoring all the stuffy formalities that usually come with the meeting of two military officers.
The wall behind her was decorated with a myriad of metals and awards she had received over her career, and he couldn't help but note the slight tinge of grey he could see forming in her hair. He knew that feeling, he was going prematurely white much to his chagrin. She stood and the two of them shook hands.
"Vir."
"Kelly."
She motioned him to sit, and he sat, sighing lightly as he had been on his feet all day consulting with political figures and other members of the UNSC.
"A strange couple months wouldn't you say?”
"Tell me about it."
Kelly reached under her desk and withdrew an amber bottle which she placed between them,
"I always forget; do you drink?"
"On occasion."
"Well consider this an occasion."
She said, popping off the top and pouring two glasses for them. She handed his across the desk and he leaned back in his seat cupping the cool glass in both hands.
She swirled the amber liquid around in her glass,
"So what are your plans after all this?”
He took a sip of water warmed by the burning liquid,
"Hoping things will go back to normal and I can go back to traveling the galaxy."
Kelly grunted,
"A simple man with simple motivations."
He laughed,
"Sometimes I think a stupid man with simple motivations."
She chuckled then grew serious,
"A lot of people make the mistake of assuming simple people don't have the intelligence to match. Some people assume that trusting means gullible means dumb. Just because we are trusting and expect others to do the right thing is not necessarily a fault. I believe there is a kind of beauty in assuming the fundamental goodness of humanity."
Admiral Vir shook his head,
"How can you after seeing what we have seen?”
"How can you not?"
She shrugged,
"We always knew that politicians were corrupt, but think about everything else we have seen."
Admiral Vir nodded slowly,
"The enthusiasm for the Apollo 11 recreation mission, the people who flew up to help us. All of those people who went digging through years of information just to uncover the truth."
She raised her glass,
"Precisely. Goodness in humanity is all around us, but we tend to overlook the good in favor of the bad."
She placed her hat on the desk and sighed,
"It is up to good people to keep their goodness going even when it might seem easier to give into the bad. I have and will always believe in the fundamental good of humanity. Some may call it naive, or even stupid. Others have said I have a romanticized view of a species that is fundamentally broken."
She turned her head to look out the window, a contemplative expression on her face before turning back to look at Adam.
"You understand me, I think."
He nodded slowly.
"People need to be believed in. You tell someone for long enough that they are fundamentally bad at their core and they will begin to believe you. For thousands of years pessimists have gotten it into our heads that we are no better than animals, worse even since animals don't fight in wars. But I believe that is wrong, I have seen people, I have met people, and I have interacted with people who prove to me that humanity cannot just be fundamentally bad or else these people wouldn't exist."
She tapped her nails against the glass,
"I think it is easier to corrupt purity than wash away a stain."
He listened quietly as she continued.
"Humans are born good, Adam, and life stains us. We aren't born stained while some of us are wiped clean."
She shook her head,
"Doesn't make sense to me."
She caught him with a look, pinning him to the spot with her intense stare,
"People like you convince me of this every day."
"Me!?..."
She held up a hand.
"Adam Vir, I am convinced that the best outcome this universe ever had, was when a happy go lucky science fiction freak was lucky enough to be the first man to meet aliens. Any other way things would have gone horribly wrong."
She leaned across her desk,
"The universe needs men and women like you, and not only that but the universe needs people who are going to support men and women like you."
She sat back,
"Which is why I have made a decision…"
He raised an eyebrow in curiosity, not entirely sure where this could be going.
She smiled,
"I have decided to run for UN President."
He nearly spit his mouthful of expensive scotch onto the table, but managed to choke it mostly down.
Eyes wide he set his glass down,
"Are you serious?”
She smiled,
"Seriously serious."
"Well shit, you have my vote for sure."
He raised his glass to her,
"I couldn't think of a better outcome."
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Intro post by me
OC-whole collection
Patreon of the author
Thanks for reading! As you saw in the title, this is a cross posted story written by starrfallknightrise and I'll just upload some of it here for you guys, if you are interested and want to read ahead, the original story-collection can be found on tumblr or wattpad to read for free. (link above this text under "OC:..." ) It is the Empyrean Iris story collection by starfallknightrise. Also, if you want to know more about the story collection i made an intro post about it, so feel free to check that out to see what other great characters to look forward to! (Link also above this text). I have no affiliations to the author; just thought I’d share some of the great stories you might enjoy a lot!
Obviously, I have Charlie’s permission to post this and for the people already knowing the stories, or starting to read them: If you follow the link and check out the story you will see some differences. I made some small (non-artistic) changes, mainly correcting writing mistakes, pronoun correction and some small additional info here and there of things which were not thought of/forgotten or even were added/changed in later stories (like the “USS->UNSC” prefix of Stabby, Chalar=/->Sunny etc). As well as some "biggemajor" changes in descriptions and info’s for the same stringency/continuity reason. That can be explained by the story collection being, well a story collection at the start with many standalone-stories just starring the same people, but later on it gets more to a stringent storyline with backstories and throwbacks. (For example Adam Vir has some HEAVY scars over his body, following his bones, which were not really talked about up till half the collection, where it says it covers his whole body and you find out via backflash that he had them the whole time and how he got them, they just weren't mentioned before. However, I would think a doctor would at least see these scars before that, especially since he gets analyzed, treated and goes shirtless/in T-shirts in some stories). So TLDR: Writing and some descriptions are slightly changed, with full OK from the author, since he himself did not bother to correct these things before.

This is the most plausible answer. I think this is exactly how he did it using facts from sermons, emails, texts, news, interviews, maps, and extensive experience with parasitic Narcissistic sitic abuse. If there is anything that I am incorrect on please let me know and I will recalculate. After typing this up two days ago, I stumbled upon Mica’s father‘s interview, and it completely solidified it to the point where I started violently shaking. I think this is what happened.
I was told Winslow‘s property backs up against that state forest. 200 acres. Right down the road. Now remember. Somebody on his staff was told to go and trim back the overgrowth on that specific property shortly before all of this happened,
I think Mica at some point had conversation with Winslow and agreed to come and talk to him at his property, a “safe place JP wouldn’t know.”, thinking she could trust him. I think mica went to winslows and JP was waiting there for unknowingly.
I think Winslow has JP‘s phone and I think JP has Winslow‘s phone so they’re not gonna ping the towers. All they saw was the license plate they never verified He was actually there.
I think JP and Winslow met at a undisclosed location and swapped vehicles. JP went up to Winslow’s NC property with Winslow‘s vehicle and cell phone, and Winslow went down south with JP cell phone and truck. I can’t quite place the girlfriend, but she is an alibi therefore she is aware that something has happened or is going on. I cannot figure out whether or not Winslow was with JP and she took the vehicle down south either or we need to find out the location of where the girlfriend was and where Winslow was. That could all be found by bank financial records of the days in question. Nobody uses cash in 2024 for an entire getaway.
Didn’t they say he got a new truck? There was something new about the truck? Did he get a new one so it wouldn’t have any of Winslow’s DNA inside of it? If Winslow drove it, his DNA/finger prints on the steering wheel would easily be on the steering wheel. Why else would he need to drive Winslow‘s vehicle if there were indications, he was driving the vehicle. Now remember one of them is a lawyer he knows what they look for. JP‘s and Winslow‘s vehicles both need to be tested for gunpowder residue.
Mica shows up to Winslow’s property, JP is there with Winslow’s vehicle, ambushes her OR Winslow is there too and the girlfriend took her phone and truck south. He already has a plan of where he’s going to take her to unalive her before she arrives. JP drives Mica’s car with Mica in it to the final location parking lot, walks her into the woods kills her, puts her stuff down and walks back to Winslow property through the woods. Girlfriend says she was with him, I think she stayed at the property or she drove a vehicle to come get him after he was done if she was there. either way Winslow or girlfriend somebody picked him up or was waiting or he went back to the property and gotten Winslow‘s vehicle and left. Remember it’s not that far away..
Now, after reviewing the 911 recording again, I do not think it is AI. The biggest reason why I know it wasn’t AI is because if you listen to the fast response when asked for the phone number, there wasn’t enough time to record that and send it at the same time. So she replied too fast. Now, when have you ever heard a 911 operator asking somebody for their phone number? That never would have been written. You still have the type stuff in the AI creators. Also, she delayed pause between every number, how would she have replied in half the time it would have taken to type all of that out. Think about it, he would have had to type a number hit space type a number hit space over and over. In a rush I know I mess up you don’t think he would have messed up? He never would have been able to get that recorded smoothly quickly in the time it took for her to respond. Again, when have you ever heard of 911 asking for your phone number?. I believe he is in the car with her after they just left Winslows property. I believe he’s sitting right next to her in the car and allows her to make the call thinking it’s going to cover up everything and benefit him. She was sending out the whistle to her family and She’s trying to buy time for them to locate her. He knew to turn off the location because she mentioned She turned it on notice how it ended at that?. My point with this is at the end.
Logically speaking if she was purposely driving to that park, she would have known the name to GPS it. She would’ve known the name of the park to give the operator. That’s why she was pausing, probably looking to him to see where they’re at. That’s why she says “yes that’s it” cause he nodded. he had enough time to process what the operator was saying before Mica was able to answer that’s why she was able to reply quickly because the operator was speaking slowly. He heard the first word and nodded. She didn’t know, but now suddenly she knew? If she was going to purposely take her own life, and she really wanted her body found, why wouldn’t she have found the name of the park before she called to give them proper location?
She would have seen oh look it’s a park and read the sign and pulled into it. She didn’t know the sign because she was terrified because he was with her. She just knows she’s in a park.
I would possibly look to see if there was any dirt roads that led to where her vehicle is at back to Winslow’s property. That might be why she didn’t see a sign. I haven’t looked too much into that part but it’s a suggestion if anybody wants to do any homework.
SO That’s why the phone was put on airplane mode so cops wouldn’t track them into the woods at the site of the incident and he would be able to get away in time into the woods without being seen.
Also airplane mode was turned on while in the car, at the end of the 911 call, I think he took the phone put the airplane mode on which is why the airplane mode was put on because she mentioned it out loud specifically, he knew the cops were coming time to MOVE, can’t follow us to the woods though. THATS why there’s no bird sounds, they did it in the car after they got to the parking lot. I think subconsciously she thought knew this was going to happen. Kinda like I told my family this was going to happen, and then it clicked what she needed to do. He brought the phone with them to paint the picture. Why would she turn off her location herself if she wanted to be found? She was already going to enter her life right? She was obviously not going to wait a long time right? Listen to her voice when it got emotional when she said she was going to kill herself. If she was unsure, why did she skip up in the exact moment? She was almost free, she had fought so hard. When you’re almost free, what would make you think she would want to stop now? Listen to me clearly, he was in the car. She needed to send out a dog whistle to the people she had told she she told him she would admit to the suicide if she could have her body found. She knew she was going to die and she knew she needed to make sure her family could piece this together. Therefore the only plausible answer is he was in the car with her. She was emotionless probably because the gun was already on her, the phone was removed from her because she mentioned the airplane mode specifically he thought they can’t trace us out to the woods, airplane mode goes on. He walked out to the woods. He needed Time to get away and couldn’t have them knowing exactly where he was to go to first so he could escape right after.
Now he goes into the woods by possibly dragging her which is why she has a bruised wrist. That might be why she started crying. She might have tried to get away when she knew what was going to happen or that it was happening hence why there’s multiple rounds. This led to possible yanking, and then the gunshot, which is why the fisherman heard the crying. Then it was over. Put her in the water he placed her belongings and Then he walked back towards Winslow‘s property. I want to know if there’s a phone call between mica and Winslow, was this drive scheduled day of or days prior and gave enough time for it to be planned. I believe at that time he got back into Winslow’s vehicle met somewhere with Windlow switched vehicles again. JP going to his home and Winslow going back to his home. The funeral and everything was already preplanned and scheduled due to the fact they already knew what was going to happen and already had it pre-planned and needed to make sure it was swift and left no room for delay. Her family, knowing they would want to see her, he manipulated them into signing the cremation holding her body over their heads. Taunting them via text message blaming them to create the narrative. Otherwise, what would be the big deal of allowing them to see the body without needing something in exchange? He knew they would have questions afterwards. At that time all they had was the 911 call and a body, sometimes you need time to process. You know when something happens and then later on you’re like wait what? He wanted to make sure that body had no stop on the cremation process to get rid of all evidence before thosequestions inevitably came. He got ahead of it so there was no hiccup in delays because he knew he had to allow them to see the body to the public that would be the moral right thing to do. Not allowing them to see the body would be suspicious. He figured out how to make it work for both. He talks about laying with her body four times and trying to raise her from the dead, was this guilt or was it like when somebody puts a deer head on the wall?
Now remember, she has already been predisposed to trust Winslow. He mentions Winslow in an email to her previously, obviously showing that he & his wife were a trusted friend of hers as well. It’s 100% a possibility that Winslow told her to come up and talk where she was protected and JP wouldn’t find them, and Winslow left with the truck and met with JP and they switched. Winslow south, JP north. Winslow had asked his staff to clean up that overgrowth on the property. It being a wooded area, was this done so that the roadway was assessable for the plan? she probably drove down some type of dirt road, and he ambushed her in some manner. North Carolina Woods are dense, therefore easily to hide when she pulls over.
Now, how do I think that JP convinced Winslow to help, I believe JP convinced Winslow , Mica was going to tell on all of them and ruin their lives. This could have been backed up by the fact that all the documentation that she had previously collected had gone missing, and was brought to Winslow to paint Mica as an enemy so this was enough for him to convince Winslow that their future and freedom was inJeopardy. When JP was actually afraid she was going to tell on his abuse and life and ruin him. So they killed her to protect their life.
They said something yesterday about breaking news how they found that the notary was forged? Thats enough for me to draw speculation because it was done by Winslow that he is now in on the dirty dealings. He is a part of the actual dirty dealings against mica He knows something is being done wrong and he is condoning it.
That notary that was done on the power of attorney from mica was falsely notarized. Mica was not present for the notary. There was an article on earlier I was looking at but I was in information overload. I just know It was not legally notarized. This shows that Winslow does not have integrity. How far is he willing to go to protect JP and all of their secrets?
I think she told JP she just wanted her body to be found for her family and she would go without a fight. I believe that it was a dog whistle to her family. The clue they would need to know this wasn’t suicide. She told them and now she needed them to remember. She knew she was going to die and everybody needed to know about the gunshot specifically that she warned everyone about days prior. He didn’t know she told people close to her that that. That’s why her voice broke up when she said she was going to unalive herself. She did not want to die. She just wanted people to be able to solve the crime. She manipulated him into thinking he was going to get away with this because she is admitting to it being a suicide. Not knowing She had whistled what was going to happen, she needed people to listen. She offered up no extra information during the 911 call which then delayed the process hoping they would find her location. She told her dad days prior she’s getting a gun for protection. I think she got it before she drove up there just incase and the bruises on her hand may be him wrestling it from her. Maybe at arrival.
A search and rescue dog can smell from weeks to months after somebody has left the area, and if anybody can get something of his and be able to place him there in the woods, you have convincing beyond a reasonable doubt.
After writing this up yesterday when I was complete, I got super sick to my stomach. I was shaking. I could see it completely out in my head where all the facts completely aligned. I believe tthis is the only plausible theory there is.
What people need to realize at the end of the day the good attention and bad attention is still attention to a narcissist. He is enjoying the intention is getting from this primarily from getting away with it. That’s why I believe he visited her body four times after she was deceased. Because he already had a girlfriend, he already talked about going and getting a hot wife and then after she dies, he does an interview about how she’s the most incredible wife and supportive. He made the obituary about how awesome he thought she was to still collect her validation and the validation he got from being her husband because she was good. She was light and he was jealous of that. He wanted that that’s why he had that position. She loved him so much he claimed and how she was so wonderful he claimed yet she didn’t want him when she had a no contact order and wanted a divorce obviously, he wasn’t that. and if you guys don’t think he groomed her go to the memorial of life sermon and listen to the poem again. Now switch the words, “school” and “church.” And follow the story line.
He killed Mica Miller.

This is the most plausible answer. I think this is exactly how he did it using facts from sermons, emails, texts, news, interviews, maps, and extensive experience with parasitic Narcissistic sitic abuse. If there is anything that I am incorrect on please let me know and I will recalculate. After typing this up two days ago, I stumbled upon Mica’s father‘s interview, and it completely solidified it to the point where I started violently shaking. I think this is what happened.
I was told Winslow‘s property backs up against that state forest. 200 acres. Right down the road. Now remember. Somebody on his staff was told to go and trim back the overgrowth on that specific property shortly before all of this happened,
I think Mica at some point had conversation with Winslow and agreed to come and talk to him at his property, a “safe place JP wouldn’t know.”, thinking she could trust him. I think mica went to winslows and JP was waiting there for unknowingly.
I think Winslow has JP‘s phone and I think JP has Winslow‘s phone so they’re not gonna ping the towers. All they saw was the license plate they never verified He was actually there.
I think JP and Winslow met at a undisclosed location and swapped vehicles. JP went up to Winslow’s NC property with Winslow‘s vehicle and cell phone, and Winslow went down south with JP cell phone and truck. I can’t quite place the girlfriend, but she is an alibi therefore she is aware that something has happened or is going on. I cannot figure out whether or not Winslow was with JP and she took the vehicle down south either or we need to find out the location of where the girlfriend was and where Winslow was. That could all be found by bank financial records of the days in question. Nobody uses cash in 2024 for an entire getaway.
Didn’t they say he got a new truck? There was something new about the truck? Did he get a new one so it wouldn’t have any of Winslow’s DNA inside of it? If Winslow drove it, his DNA/finger prints on the steering wheel would easily be on the steering wheel. Why else would he need to drive Winslow‘s vehicle if there were indications, he was driving the vehicle. Now remember one of them is a lawyer he knows what they look for. JP‘s and Winslow‘s vehicles both need to be tested for gunpowder residue.
Mica shows up to Winslow’s property, JP is there with Winslow’s vehicle, ambushes her OR Winslow is there too and the girlfriend took her phone and truck south. He already has a plan of where he’s going to take her to unalive her before she arrives. JP drives Mica’s car with Mica in it to the final location parking lot, walks her into the woods kills her, puts her stuff down and walks back to Winslow property through the woods. Girlfriend says she was with him, I think she stayed at the property or she drove a vehicle to come get him after he was done if she was there. either way Winslow or girlfriend somebody picked him up or was waiting or he went back to the property and gotten Winslow‘s vehicle and left. Remember it’s not that far away..
Now, after reviewing the 911 recording again, I do not think it is AI. The biggest reason why I know it wasn’t AI is because if you listen to the fast response when asked for the phone number, there wasn’t enough time to record that and send it at the same time. So she replied too fast. Now, when have you ever heard a 911 operator asking somebody for their phone number? That never would have been written. You still have the type stuff in the AI creators. Also, she delayed pause between every number, how would she have replied in half the time it would have taken to type all of that out. Think about it, he would have had to type a number hit space type a number hit space over and over. In a rush I know I mess up you don’t think he would have messed up? He never would have been able to get that recorded smoothly quickly in the time it took for her to respond. Again, when have you ever heard of 911 asking for your phone number?. I believe he is in the car with her after they just left Winslows property. I believe he’s sitting right next to her in the car and allows her to make the call thinking it’s going to cover up everything and benefit him. She was sending out the whistle to her family and She’s trying to buy time for them to locate her. He knew to turn off the location because she mentioned She turned it on notice how it ended at that?. My point with this is at the end.
Logically speaking if she was purposely driving to that park, she would have known the name to GPS it. She would’ve known the name of the park to give the operator. That’s why she was pausing, probably looking to him to see where they’re at. That’s why she says “yes that’s it” cause he nodded. he had enough time to process what the operator was saying before Mica was able to answer that’s why she was able to reply quickly because the operator was speaking slowly. He heard the first word and nodded. She didn’t know, but now suddenly she knew? If she was going to purposely take her own life, and she really wanted her body found, why wouldn’t she have found the name of the park before she called to give them proper location?
She would have seen oh look it’s a park and read the sign and pulled into it. She didn’t know the sign because she was terrified because he was with her. She just knows she’s in a park.
I would possibly look to see if there was any dirt roads that led to where her vehicle is at back to Winslow’s property. That might be why she didn’t see a sign. I haven’t looked too much into that part but it’s a suggestion if anybody wants to do any homework.
SO That’s why the phone was put on airplane mode so cops wouldn’t track them into the woods at the site of the incident and he would be able to get away in time into the woods without being seen.
Also airplane mode was turned on while in the car, at the end of the 911 call, I think he took the phone put the airplane mode on which is why the airplane mode was put on because she mentioned it out loud specifically, he knew the cops were coming time to MOVE, can’t follow us to the woods though. THATS why there’s no bird sounds, they did it in the car after they got to the parking lot. I think subconsciously she thought knew this was going to happen. Kinda like I told my family this was going to happen, and then it clicked what she needed to do. He brought the phone with them to paint the picture. Why would she turn off her location herself if she wanted to be found? She was already going to enter her life right? She was obviously not going to wait a long time right? Listen to her voice when it got emotional when she said she was going to kill herself. If she was unsure, why did she skip up in the exact moment? She was almost free, she had fought so hard. When you’re almost free, what would make you think she would want to stop now? Listen to me clearly, he was in the car. She needed to send out a dog whistle to the people she had told she she told him she would admit to the suicide if she could have her body found. She knew she was going to die and she knew she needed to make sure her family could piece this together. Therefore the only plausible answer is he was in the car with her. She was emotionless probably because the gun was already on her, the phone was removed from her because she mentioned the airplane mode specifically he thought they can’t trace us out to the woods, airplane mode goes on. He walked out to the woods. He needed Time to get away and couldn’t have them knowing exactly where he was to go to first so he could escape right after.
Now he goes into the woods by possibly dragging her which is why she has a bruised wrist. That might be why she started crying. She might have tried to get away when she knew what was going to happen or that it was happening hence why there’s multiple rounds. This led to possible yanking, and then the gunshot, which is why the fisherman heard the crying. Then it was over. Put her in the water he placed her belongings and Then he walked back towards Winslow‘s property. I want to know if there’s a phone call between mica and Winslow, was this drive scheduled day of or days prior and gave enough time for it to be planned. I believe at that time he got back into Winslow’s vehicle met somewhere with Windlow switched vehicles again. JP going to his home and Winslow going back to his home. The funeral and everything was already preplanned and scheduled due to the fact they already knew what was going to happen and already had it pre-planned and needed to make sure it was swift and left no room for delay. Her family, knowing they would want to see her, he manipulated them into signing the cremation holding her body over their heads. Taunting them via text message blaming them to create the narrative. Otherwise, what would be the big deal of allowing them to see the body without needing something in exchange? He knew they would have questions afterwards. At that time all they had was the 911 call and a body, sometimes you need time to process. You know when something happens and then later on you’re like wait what? He wanted to make sure that body had no stop on the cremation process to get rid of all evidence before thosequestions inevitably came. He got ahead of it so there was no hiccup in delays because he knew he had to allow them to see the body to the public that would be the moral right thing to do. Not allowing them to see the body would be suspicious. He figured out how to make it work for both. He talks about laying with her body four times and trying to raise her from the dead, was this guilt or was it like when somebody puts a deer head on the wall?
Now remember, she has already been predisposed to trust Winslow. He mentions Winslow in an email to her previously, obviously showing that he & his wife were a trusted friend of hers as well. It’s 100% a possibility that Winslow told her to come up and talk where she was protected and JP wouldn’t find them, and Winslow left with the truck and met with JP and they switched. Winslow south, JP north. Winslow had asked his staff to clean up that overgrowth on the property. It being a wooded area, was this done so that the roadway was assessable for the plan? she probably drove down some type of dirt road, and he ambushed her in some manner. North Carolina Woods are dense, therefore easily to hide when she pulls over.
Now, how do I think that JP convinced Winslow to help, I believe JP convinced Winslow , Mica was going to tell on all of them and ruin their lives. This could have been backed up by the fact that all the documentation that she had previously collected had gone missing, and was brought to Winslow to paint Mica as an enemy so this was enough for him to convince Winslow that their future and freedom was inJeopardy. When JP was actually afraid she was going to tell on his abuse and life and ruin him. So they killed her to protect their life.
They said something yesterday about breaking news how they found that the notary was forged? Thats enough for me to draw speculation because it was done by Winslow that he is now in on the dirty dealings. He is a part of the actual dirty dealings against mica He knows something is being done wrong and he is condoning it.
That notary that was done on the power of attorney from mica was falsely notarized. Mica was not present for the notary. There was an article on earlier I was looking at but I was in information overload. I just know It was not legally notarized. This shows that Winslow does not have integrity. How far is he willing to go to protect JP and all of their secrets?
I think she told JP she just wanted her body to be found for her family and she would go without a fight. I believe that it was a dog whistle to her family. The clue they would need to know this wasn’t suicide. She told them and now she needed them to remember. She knew she was going to die and everybody needed to know about the gunshot specifically that she warned everyone about days prior. He didn’t know she told people close to her that that. That’s why her voice broke up when she said she was going to unalive herself. She did not want to die. She just wanted people to be able to solve the crime. She manipulated him into thinking he was going to get away with this because she is admitting to it being a suicide. Not knowing She had whistled what was going to happen, she needed people to listen. She offered up no extra information during the 911 call which then delayed the process hoping they would find her location. She told her dad days prior she’s getting a gun for protection. I think she got it before she drove up there just incase and the bruises on her hand may be him wrestling it from her. Maybe at arrival.
A search and rescue dog can smell from weeks to months after somebody has left the area, and if anybody can get something of his and be able to place him there in the woods, you have convincing beyond a reasonable doubt.
After writing this up yesterday when I was complete, I got super sick to my stomach. I was shaking. I could see it completely out in my head where all the facts completely aligned. I believe tthis is the only plausible theory there is.
What people need to realize at the end of the day the good attention and bad attention is still attention to a narcissist. He is enjoying the intention is getting from this primarily from getting away with it. That’s why I believe he visited her body four times after she was deceased. Because he already had a girlfriend, he already talked about going and getting a hot wife and then after she dies, he does an interview about how she’s the most incredible wife and supportive. He made the obituary about how awesome she thought HE was to still collect her validation and the validation he got from being her husband because she was good. She was light and he was jealous of that. He wanted that that’s why he had that position. She loved him so much he claimed and how she was so wonderful he claimed yet she didn’t want him when she had a no contact order and wanted a divorce obviously, he wasn’t that. and if you guys don’t think he groomed her go to the memorial of life sermon and listen to the poem again. Now switch the words, “school” and “church.” And follow the story line.
He killed Mica Miller.

English it's not my first language so I'm sorry If there's any grammatical errors
So you see, not exactly today but 3 weeks ago I decided to confess to a guy I was having a huge crush on since 3 months ago beforehand but I didn't got the courage to talk to because of struggling before in socializing, love relationship and in resume not too sure if I wanted a relationship with him. These reasons weren't any new, since I got these thoughts from the start so I tried to brush them off during those months but I couldn't manage to do so, since he got friends in common with me, was in my class and constantly standing out by his grades just made it hard for me to do so in general. But there was this time, a friend of mine that knew I had a crush on him and her seat was near to his and his friend, heard that they were talking abt relationships and somehow ended talking about one particular time he (my crush) went out in a date with a girl he wasn't interested in just for her to pay him to eat, and was laughing abt it with his friend. Ofc I knew this kinda thing was pretty messed up, and I'm a person that gets the "Ick" pretty fast with this things but somehow my crush in him didn't vanish away STILL knowing that. There was this other time he was somehow embarrassed of his culture, and pretty much talked abt part of his family being from Europe to "defend" himself (where I live it's pretty common this type of things) and it did pretty much upset me bcs I don't support any kind of this behavior, but my crush in him still didn't vanish away?? I somehow thought at a certain part I was straight up just obsessed or just in love with the person I thought he was in my head, so I tried quitting that feeling by uninstalling social media, tried switching classrooms (I didn't got to do so) straight up making like he didn't exist, everything you could do to get over it while attending the same classes. Before all this my parents were gonna make me switch high school by the end of these 3 months so my friend proposed me to confess; see this was a crazy idea but somehow to me atm made sense since if he rejected me directly, I was gonna lose hope in all type of ways (part of the complications to get over it was this type of holding eye contact time-to-time in class) so I got the courage, and pretty much put my mind in it for what to say if I somehow got the courage to do so.
Surprisingly, even for me, I did it and in the last day I was gonna attend I asked him that if we could talk for a moment, he accepted and we went to talk to a park, I started with how sorry I was if I got to make him uncomfortable in any way, that I didn't got to talk to him but we got to attend classes together, that I wished we could've got to know better but I was gonna retire soon, and I wanted to get what I felt off of my chest. That I pretty much understood if he rejected me, and wished that I somehow didn't get to make him feel discomfort in any way, that in fact I wasn't pretty much sure if it was the right time to be in a relationship in my perspective and he interrupted me by saying: "ohh no, don't say that, we still can get to know each other, I'm pretty much sociable" and asked for my number. As you can imagine, I pretty much didn't expect that, just wrote my number in my phone and pretty much started disassociating in the moment because I didn't knew what to do next 😭 the moment got awkward, and I got to comment my points of view still of why I thought was a wrong time for dating, and he started saying his. The Convo pretty much got lighten up after that, and then he started wanting to know me better, asking by my music interests, talking about his childhood and his struggles in high school with education. We talked about 3 hours, time went flying and by the end of the conversation he said he would text me, somehow I still got this feeling at the back of my head that even after having a good talk, he didn't wanted to do so but I gave it a chance then figured out I was right, in some type of way.
I still, illusionated somehow and was anxious the whole day since all of this conversation dated in the morning. He texted me the next day by that in the night after that, we somehow talked by approximately 4 days but not too much and a pretty much average/short conv. Here's when it got pretty much awkward, he told me straight up, at 8pm that he was looking into something more "intimate", by what I replied that I wasn't searching the same and that it was okay still if he doesn't want to keep talking after this (this is the first time I handle a situation like this) by what he replied that it was okay still, that he was sorry if it made me uncomfortable, that he wasn't pretty much interested in relationships too, I replied that I understood and wished him the best, he asked me to please don't mention this to any friends, that he wouldn't do so too and I agreed. But then, I pretty much stopped to go to high school just 2 weeks and my parents decided to put me back in (it's hard to explain the real high school situation) and started to go again in the Friday. One of my friends, that sits next to them (my ex-crush and his friends) heard them tease him about this "dirty jokes" with a girl and constantly ask him to look at the back of the class, him pretty much embarrassed by the comments too, but they were a bunch of friends, pretty much 5 boys teasing him abt it and now, I'm attending high school in this situation and no, since according not to talk about it with our friends, we haven't talked again.
TL;DR I confessed to the person I loved thinking I wouldn't see him again He offered me a relationship only for sex and I rejected him, went back to high school and now the whole situation it's embarassing

This is my first time posting so I’m sorry if it doesn’t make much sense or I’m trauma dumping a lot also a couple trigger warnings, I’m not sure where to start off with. Me and my mom used to be pretty close I’d say up until I started high school. Middle of eighth grade I moved to a new city so I was back to trying to find some friends. I’ve been moving around since I could remember, I used to live in Germany where I moved twice, then moved to the US around the Silicon Valley, moved again, and again and again now we’re here. I wouldn’t be explaining this part of my life if I felt like it didn’t have any weight in this situation. Middle school I found a friend, me and her got pretty close, stuck through Covid together. My mom hated her and not even two years into our friendship my mom started accusing her of stealing from us, being a bad influence and overall just being trashy. Her parents were in the middle of getting a divorce and she had a lot of things going on in her life. I dyed my hair red during this time too while being friends with her, she probably was a huge influence on me but that’s also because it was covid and I was bored and who doesn’t start irrationally bleaching and coloring their hair at 14. I think my mom thought she was a bad influence on that part too because she's the one that first started off coloring her hair like purple and pink etc. My mom never of course said anything to my friend but she made sure I would hear of her disapproval concerning her bad influence in my life. I stopped being friends with her freshman year since my parents banned me from having her over or going to her house, I couldn’t drive neither could she and hanging out at each other's houses was pretty much what we did 80% of the time. I was so frustrated and felt trapped because the only friend I really cared about was someone I wasn’t allowed to associate with anymore. I told her I was done being friends with her over text and blamed it on me just being in a dark place and breaking it off. She was confused and called me a week later about something personal but I just dismissed it. Granted there were other things going on in our friendship but I felt terrible about it especially since her parents were going through that divorce and I just left during such a sensitive time. I hate to admit it but I felt so much better since I started making new friends quickly and started sitting with a new group the next day. Mostly guys and other two girls, it worked out fine for the next year. Junior year my grades started dropping so my parents got stricter, started taking my phone, looking through it, screen time etc. I felt like it was a huge invasion of privacy since my mom would look through my texts. Me and my mom also started arguing weekly about whatever it was but when I mean arguing I mean like full on yelling for two hours down in the living room with no stopping. I can’t do anything about it because whenever I say something remotely disproving her so called “facts'' since she always speaks with so much authority on subjects she wouldn’t even know about I’m the one that has to quiet down from my fathers perspective, and I know this will be mostly about my mom but me and my dad have always been close even when we’re fighting within a week we at least make it up. We play the same sports, have the same humor etc. I understand this might look like us disregarding my mom and I know she cares and loves me yet in certain circumstances she doesn’t show it so of course there’s going to be reasons as to why I’m closer with my dad than her. For example I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes in 4th grade and of course I wouldn’t expect anyone to know that when you're low you need carbs or when your blood sugar is high you need insulin but my mom to this day still does not understand it. I wouldn’t care even if it’s my friend but as my mom you take so much authority over my life and who I can’t or can hangout with but you don’t know the basics of how I have to manage my life behind closed doors in the house that you and I live in every day. That might sound overdramatic but it’s just something I think about. Also growing up, I’m an only child by the way, I would always play by myself whenever we went on vacation for example to the beach etc. it was always my dad that came and played with me in the sand while at sharing his time with me and my mom so my mom wouldn’t gets upset over him leaving her to go play with me. Even now I notice how my mom would always make snarky comments regarding how my dad always treats me like a princess and cares too much over me. Anywho, since I know this is getting pretty long I’ll try to sum it up a bit more. I started liking one of the guys from that group, I would text him on a daily basis just about whatever. We were pretty awkward in person since I’ve never really talked to that many guys and I don’t think he really had much experience either so we stuck it to mostly phones, everyone else in the group also didn’t know. Once my mom went through my phone on one occasion that night, because she would collect it on some nights and read through my messages in bed she saw one message from that guy calling my mom bipolar and me responding with something like it’s fine like I still love her she freaked out. She told me to never talk to him again and that I’m a brat for talking about my family issues outside of the family etc. I honestly had nobody to talk to. The other two girls in the group didn’t really talk to me at this time, I later became really close with one of them though more on that later and I had no other friends in that town so it was really only him. He had a plethora of family issues that I couldn’t even imagine so I felt like he understood where I was coming from at times better than other kids with American parents. Not sure I mentioned but my parents were both born in Eastern Europe and grew up during heavy communism so that definitely affected them and their parenting style. Anywho, my mom sent me a paragraph to show to him, basically telling him to never talk to me again and that he has to apologize to her etc. After a couple months I think he took me out on a date. I'm not sure what to make of it since it was pretty casual. We just got ice cream. I told my parents that he was only picking me up so we could meet with the rest of the group when of course we’re not. The rest of the guys saw us downtown and found out about it. That kinda really sucked since I’m pretty sure one of them liked me so he got really mad and it kind of ruined the group dynamic. The guy I liked stopped talking to me a couple months in since I couldn’t really do much or go anywhere and dating as a result would be hard so he stopped really talking to me it was pretty off and on since I would get mad stop texting him and then he would try to get back texting at me and once I showed him I cared he’d stop. I was so mad at him and the situation that I refrained myself from talking to him, two weeks later he killed himself. I found out because one of the guys from the group faced me and told me. I went downstairs and started crying and formed the sentences explaining it the best I could, pushing a couple words out at a time. In that very moment I felt so hurt and vulnerable by what just happened my mom responded by just looking at me and saying that he had it coming for him since he probably vaped and drank. My dad ran downstairs since he probably heard me crying and the first thing he did without asking me any questions was hug me. For the first time ever he told my mom to shut up since her trying to ask me questions about how he died just made me sob harder. Over the next week my mom was pretty lenient about letting me go out. The next week she started asking what happened to him. Me and my mom were not close at all anymore at this time. You see mothers and daughters talking about guys or what dress they’re gonna wear to the prom etc in the movies. Me and my mom are not like that. On top of that I was overwhelmed with what happened and as someone does overthinking how things could have played out differently. Anyway I refused to tell her anything saying I was too uncomfortable and over the course of the next couple months of senior year she would get progressively mad and irritated at me to the point of arguing and yelling at me for not trusting her and telling her how he killed himself. I to this day told her nothing but she stopped asking. I don’t know how my dad feeds into this since he’s always so Switzerland about everything when I know I’m right in an argument between me and my mom, however when my mom has leverage he takes her side. Anyway, the beginning of senior year was rough. I hated being in that house and really started seriously considering the only options I felt like I had at the time. I started becoming closer to that one girl from the group earlier, spoiler alert my mom strongly dislikes her now too since she’s a liar and since she’s close with her mom but not her dad that means her parents are having marital issues and therefore her mom is a cheater etc. I don’t understand how she goes from one topic to another and sorts these things into her head. She’s my only friend that I’m really close with and I have been for the past these almost two so hearing this is very disheartening since I’m sending off senior year and I can’t do this again being so close to the end of the year. I forgot to mention but during homecoming I drank for the first time and I had one of my guy friends with his girlfriend and that friend that I’m not friends with drop me off. When he dropped me off he didn’t wave to my mom so she now thinks he’s a bastard in her words and disgusting and she deserves and apology for all the times he’s been over to my house etc. which I honestly think is insane because how do you always have so many issues over my friends and why are you so obsessed with 16 year olds, like you really have beef with high school kids as a 50 year old. Anyway the reason I bring that up is because I invited him over a couple weeks ago for some drills to help one of my other friends with mma since me and him used to wrestle and my mom got mad despite him not being there for me but for my other friends benefit. I’m not sure if this makes any sense. I'm trying to explain the issue best I can without saying too much. Anyway my friend, the one that I’m friends with now, the girl and that guy from the group that didn’t wave at my mom are both Latin so my mom started calling them cheaters and dirty etc when they had nothing to do with anything. This argument spiraled over me asking my mom if I can have a sleepover with those friends since we want to bring a new series on Netflix. Also during prom I asked my parents for 10 dollars since I already had twenty in my account and I wanted to buy hair stuff for prom. They gave me the 10 and I said how I was going to catch a ride with friend A so that when friend A picked me up but friend B that I did not mention in the plan picked me up my parents started calling and texting me. To give some background friend B has been close with me since freshman year, probably the only friend my mom has liked and also the only white friend I have not sure if that has anything do with it but there’s that. She’s really sweet and has been invited over multiple times to my house by my parents, they do really like her. Anywho yet since I didn’t mention that friend B was driving the car since my parents didn’t recognize the new car and knew it wasn’t friend A driving yet assumed it was indeed friend B but since I didn’t mention that they took all the money I had in my account which was only 30 dollars but it was what I needed to get my nails and hair gloss and hair spray for prom, I just started breaking down in the middle of target. I was so excited to get my stick on nails etc since I couldn’t afford to get the acrylics since I was paying for all my prom stuff for the most part. By the way I know that the 10 dollars was initially there so I understand taking away that but the other 20 I made selling my clothes on mercari and I had nothing else like no other cash nothing that was the money I worked on to get my prom stuff. It was mostly my dad actually that got mad at this point taking my money etc and than following a got a text from my mom saying I got what I was coming for by acting the way I have been. There were 3 others with me while I was at target so having three of my friends see me breakdown from me only having 14 cents left in my account was so humiliating. I ended up looking great at prom neither less so don’t even worry about that, my hair looked great and I found some old stick-ons in my laundry room and painted them white lol a couple of them popped off during prom but whatever. This has been really long and thanks to whoever spent their time reading through all of this I’m sorry if the read is a bit of a struggle but I just don’t know what to think or do of this situation. Keep in mind I’m 18 now, never have had a boyfriend, never have do anything, kissed, even held hands romantically etc. it’s one thing you know to not care about any of that but the thing is I do and I want to experience being a teenager and going out and going on dates and not worry about my mom flipping out on one of my friends. While we were in Italy one of the tour guys told her to move on the bus to make more room for others and she started cussing him out telling him to f himself etc for telling her a paying customer where to sit. Everyone started staring at us. I did not want to be there. I just kept my head down the entire time and didn’t really talk to my mom out of embarrassment for the next two days. Also after that prom incident I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere after as a result of go to friend B's birthday bash the next day so my mom texted her without my knowledge and told her not to tell me about how I’ve been acting up and one day I’ll learn when I’m her age but it will be too late and that I don’t know what I’m doing and finishing off my apologizing on my part for my behavior and I’m the reason why I can’t go to her party. Which I find so infuriating because one of the main reasons why I don’t tell my mom anything about my personal life is because I simply don’t want her to have that control of knowing what my life is like, I probably tell the teacher I TA for more than my own biological mother. The fact that she preached family issues in the family so heavily and that you should never talk about issues to others yet goes behind my back and tells my friend that my indecent behavior is the reason why I can’t go is so beyond me because where did your ideals go that you preached so heavily about. Every time I’m around my mom especially when she has her flares of anger I just start shaking like you know when you drink something with a lot of caffeine in the morning and you don’t eat anything so mid way through the day you just start getting jittery and anxious, kind of like that. Ok I think I’m done anyway thank you for tuning in cause I really have to start studying for human geo, thanks for reading up until here 🙂.

I am a 16 year old girl and my brother is 27 years old. Growing up, it was mainly just me and my brother. My dad left shortly after I was born and my mom wasn’t around much. I know that my brother took all of the work to make sure that I was healthy and happy, and I can’t thank him enough for what he has done for me. He got a job at 15 to provide for us both while my mom was off doing God knows what. I was around 9 years old when my brother left for college at the age of 20. I remember he promised me that he would always come every weekend to check up on me and give me groceries for the week. For the first two years he kept true to his word. He would come by with food and hang out with me. I was lonely and sad without him, but I managed as best as I could for a child. It wasn’t until he met his girlfriend (now wife) that he changed. He stopped coming over as often, leaving me going hungry. I would text him, asking when he’d be back, and he would give me vague answers. I remember for two weeks I could only eat plan turkey sandwiches because that’s all I had to eat. Those vague answers soon turned into no answers. He would also make promises to me that he wouldn’t keep (e.g. buying me more food, clothes, money, etc.) I think I was around 12 or 13 when he stopped coming by entirely. He would no longer answer my texts and I would get no information about his life. He even had a kid when I was 14 that I didn’t even know about until a few days ago when he messaged me. I had honestly given up in ever contacting him again because it had been years since we last talked. He says that he wants to make up for lost time and that he misses me. I honestly felt so mad in that moment that I wanted to block him, but I didn’t. I instead agreed to meet with him. We met a few days later at the park we grew up nearby. He was there with his wife and son. When he saw me he got teary eyed and tried to hug me, but I pushed him away and told him I don’t like hugs anymore. He seemed hurt and that made me just the slightest bit happy. He started talking about what life was like in and after college and what he’s doing now. He said that now that I’m older he wants to be able to do more stuff with me that he missed out on. To put it bluntly, I went crazy on him. Here is a gist of what I said: “I’ve missed you a lot. I remember always turning on my phone to see if you had even responded to even one of my countless messages. For years I heard not one word out of you. I went hungry and dirty because you were no longer around. I get that you had to live your own life, but I didn’t know it included kicking me out of it. I was basically an orphan because Mom was never around. I was 13 when my period started and I didn’t have any money to buy what I needed. And why do you think that my texts randomly stopped one day? It’s because I have up on you. I gave up on you ever being able to care about me like you used to. Because of you I can’t trust people and what they promise me because I’m afraid they will leave me like you did. So I don’t care if you want to make up for lost time, and I don’t think you can because it’s your fault.” By the end of my rant he was crying and his wife was giving me the death stare. He started apologizing and saying that he didn’t know that was how I felt. I called BS because there is no way he never saw any of those texts I sent. After that I left and sobbed when I got home. I love my brother, I really do, but I don’t think it’s fair for him to try and come back like nothing happened.

I fucking hate my life, let me tell you how it went. First 6 years went well, then dyslexia and school happened, then parents that hit and cursed at me (they weren’t good parents but are good people and tried to make up for it). Then i started emotional eating so i got fat, and i was pretty big already. Oh and acted like a boy, so the result is that everyone was afraid or ‘disgusted’ by me. The years passed and i got pretty fat like 110kg in my 21 years. Have had only two boyfriends who weren’t long distant, had about 6 guys who were interested in me romantically.
Now i am with my boyfriend/fiance, long distance but have been together for 3 years but for the past 1 year he hasn’t showed sexual interest, i tried lots of stuff like sending dirty texts and pics but he hasn’t reacted, which doesn’t help my self esteem.
I feel awful and hideous. I criticize myself always, the only things i like about my body is my hair. I hate my nose, my thin lips, my fat body all of it. I feel like i will never be truly loved.

Hi. This is a throwaway.
I'm not sure what information to include but basically I have a toddler with a man I am not married to but have been living with (even broken up) for a couple years and dated for roughly 4-5 years. I am 25f and he is 34m. We have not been together romantically or sexually for about a year or more but have been living together for both convenience and for our toddler.
However, I am coming to this realization that he is incredibly abusive, physically, emotionally, even financially. I desperatelyneed to leave this man. He is not a danger to our toddler and he is a great dad but a horrible partner. He has other kids that he doesnt have custody of and does not see often at all and it upsets him greatly. Because of this, anytime we fight or i mention leaving him he goes off about how he wont let me take his kid like the other women did and thatll be the biggest mistake i ever make. I dont believe hed actually hurt me but i do see it as a threat and i know hed say anything to make me look bad.
I'm okay with him seeing our child obviously because this is his child, as well, but I'm scared of leaving him and trying to keep full custody of our child. He's not incompetent or anything but I'm not fond of him making decisions for our child or our child staying wih him overnight if he's living with his family.
This is a point where I'm concerned. If we live separately he will move in with his family and he has a family member that is severely mentally disabled. I worry that this borders on seeming ableist but please hear me out. This person is a man in his 20s but is at a point mentally where he cannot possibly care for himself. He cannot speak in sentences, only uses 2 word sentences if that, cannot use rhe toilet, etc. I say this not to shame any persom involved but to stress that he literally can never live on his own. He also has some issues with anger where he has attacked his mother physically and bruised her up, all she could do was hold her arms up until he calmed down. He also does not understand personal boundaries and... really likes women. He has actually pulled my pants and grabbed my v*gina before and constantly sneaks into bed with you if you stay over. He is not good at playing with kids because hes still a grown man amd not a child so hes rough and can get tempermental. He also runs away very often, leading them to makeshift their own special way of locking their doors which makes it impossible to exit the home quickly in case of danger as the only key is in one specific spot. This wouldn't be the worst thing except he also has a lengthy history of setting things on fire. He has burned down one of their homes and has set several fires in their current home and other homes as well.
Ik this is long but what I'm trying to stress or say is that I know if we live separately my child's father will fight me and try to take him, he has threatened to call cps on me for painting our childs nails, my family's house being dirty, me being mentally unwell (I miraculously feel great when he's not around), etc. I also know that he will want our child living with him but I do not, under absolutely any circumstances, want my toddler staying the night in that house and I also know that house is where my child's father will be staying when we live separately. Idk if this is making sense or is easy to follow but I hope you all get my point. He will want him, he will be in that house, that house is so unsafe to sleep in, visiting is something entirely different but my toddler will not stay in that house overnight with every adult asleep except for the one person who likes fire a little too much.
I need advice on what I can even do when all of this inevitably happens. I can't say to my child's father he can't stay the night bc of his family member or he and his family will freak out as they are (understandably) very hypersensitive about this family member.
Is there any possible way I can have some kind of legal understanding that my child can't stay there overnight ever but he can obviously stay with his dad when he gets his own place somewhere.
I also was wanting any general advice or knowledge on my rights as a mom in Texas and if him saying I'm "unstable" will make anything much more difficult.
Edit to add
If any resources are available online please point me to them. I am currently without a job and he has the car and job. I am stuck at the house were currently living in 24/7 unless I manage to convince him to let me make a trip to the local dollar store. I don't have a lot of options for visiting anyone else immediately but am hoping I'd be able to once we are separated somehow. We can't afford daycare so full time child care is on me, hence why I can't keep a job. I had a parttime job but was unable to save any of my checks and the full time job started early in the day and my child's father called me and texted me every morning about me needing to quit and come home because he couldn't deal with our son crying for me in the mornings. So I'm currently without money, a job, or a car. However I'm trying to look into certifications that may lead to wfh jobs, daycare options, and I did just graduate with a bachelor's degree.

I apologize in advance for how long this is going to be. So I 24F started teaching for first time last year so I’m currently in my second year. While in my first year I befriend another teacher let’s call her Patty who was also new to the school and was going to be teaching the same grade and subjects as me. Last year all was great and I learned a lot from her as she already had a year of teaching under her belt. In this school year of teaching we were still really close but a few things were different. I was more independent from her as I became more confident in who I am as a teacher and I became close with two other coworkers. One friendship just came along and another came due to us doing the same after school activity together. At the beginning of this year, all 4 of us were close. We talked everyday ate lunch together, texted in a gc the works.
Now for the weird part. One day during lunch Patty comes in late and then mid conversation gets up and leaves. Which left the three of us super confused. She later text me asking if everything was okay between us. I told her I thought all was fine but I wanted her to stop making comments that I liked our other two friends better than her because it really hurt me that she could think that of me. She apologized and everything seemed okay. The following few days Patty didn’t join us for lunch. I thought maybe she needed time and I didn’t want to push her. Time goes by and she never returns to eating lunch with us. Patty then pulls our one friend aside let’s call her Amy and ask if she hurt me in any way and she’s not sure why our relationship has changed. Amy pushed her to talk to me about it but that never happened. I honestly didn’t know why she was feeling this away because truly nothing had happened between us in my perspective. Patty never came and talked to me. Some time passes and Patty and I aren’t as close anymore but are still professional. In this time Patty gets close with her co teacher Sally. Which I found weird considering Patty made many comments about not liking Sally. I also was wary of Sally as I noticed she would change her personality depending on who she was around. Patty is very conservative so Sally would be conservative. If Sally talked with other staff who tend to be a bit more loud she would then act like them. Which I understand everyone is different depending on the friend but I personally have had bad experiences with people who do this. So I am aware of my own bias here. Either way I remain at professional length with Sally.
Fast forward to February we have a professional development day, where Patty and I go to the same building since we teach the same subject. She pulls me to the side and expresses that she’s not sure what happened between because she doesn’t feel Like she did anything to me and I did nothing to her. She states that it hurt her seeing me, Amy and our other friend match at our staff Christmas. I apologized for this and stated that it was wrong of us to match without her but I felt so awkward asking her to match because we hadn’t talked in months. We both apologized and it felt good. For the rest of the day Patty seemed like her old self but she had made a couple comments about our principal that made me feel weird. She stated that she wasn’t sure how she felt about our new principal who used to be our old VP. That she doesn’t feel like she makes the school feel like a family like our old principal. I would like to say that Patty and our Old principal were very close and she was favored. Patty was often in the spotlight last year due to our old principal raving about her. I think Patty sees our new principal is very professional and keeps friendship and work separate. I expressed that I like our new principal as I feel like she’s kept thing very orderly and I did feel like our school was a family. The conversation ended there and I thought all was fine. But when we returned to school she was back to being awkward as if as if we didn’t talk. I started to notice that in front of Sally she was acting as if we didn’t talk but if Sally wasn’t there she was her old self with me. So things went back to being awkward. I continued to hang with Amy and our other friend and Patty continued to hang with Sally. Now remember when I said that Patty is conservative? this is due to her religion. as Patty and Sally became closer I noticed that Sally started to dress like Patty. With Patty being so conservative due to her religion she often dresses in skirts/dresses never leggings or pants Sally used to dress in jeans, leggings, pants, but more more started to only dress in skirts/dresses, which I found weird.
Fast-forward to this past March, both Patty and I got nominated for teacher of the year. This is Patty‘s second time being nominated as she was nominated last year but did not win. This is my first time being nominated and I would like to say that I am extremely grateful to be nominated in my second year of teaching. Both Patty and I congratulate each other. Now jumping ahead to the day before applications submissions for teacher of the year were due. My friend (not Amy) was sat down by our vice principal to say that there was an efficacy complaint about her coming to lunch with me to pick up my students, this made me very angry as Patty runs the efficacy committee in our school. I felt that the timing was weird as my friend has been coming to pick up my students with me at lunch all year long and there was never an issue but then the day before applications are due someone complains? This made me feel like Patty and Sally were playing dirty to help Patty possibly win and me to look bad? And I have noticed Sally staring at me and side eying me and I really wasn’t sure why until the complaint. But I can say I have a tendency to show how I feel on my face. I can’t hide my emotions which is something that I have been actively working on. So this past week was teacher appreciation week and Patty reposted Sally story where Sally posted the card that Patty gave her saying how thankful she was for her and she is so grateful that she is in her life. Now I know this may seem like I’m a bit jealous but honestly I am just so confused because when Patty pulled Amy to ask what was going on between me and her, she stated that her and Sally were cool, but she does not view her as a best friend, but then writes her card how grateful she is to be her friend?
With all this information I guess I’m just asking how do I move on from feeling weird and uncomfortable by this friendship between Patty and Sally? any advice on how to fake it until I make it when I have to work with Sally and Patty since we are all in the same grade level? Honestly, I feel very uncomfortable by both of them. I’m not really liking either of them too much because of the complaint that they put in any advice?

Sorry for the length of this, trying my best to clearly explain everything.
About two months ago, my boyfriend and I both started new jobs. We’ve lived together previously but currently do not, I live with my parents and three months ago he moved into his first apartment. This is the first time we’ve lived separately from each other while both being employed, so it was expected that we would come across some obstacles to start.
My initial concern began when I started to notice how withdrawn he seemed from our conversations. Gradually as we spoke on the phone, he showed less and less interest in our conversations. We had an agreement before to call each other twice a day that he had set up, I wasn’t opposed to the idea but despite it being what he wanted he seemed to have a lot of trouble keeping up with this. I wouldn’t mind talking once a day, every other day, or just sending a quick ‘I love you’ text, but he doesn’t like texting and insisted that this would work. Between our work schedules this wasn’t ideal for either of us, and despite asking him repeatedly if he wanted to change this, he again said it was fine. Now at this point, it’s a once a day call, and while I don’t mind this at all, it wasn’t communicated whatsoever. It felt like it just happened. When I realized it had gotten to this point I was more frustrated that we couldn’t have just simply said “hey let’s do a daily call” instead of repeatedly asking him if this was genuinely working for us.
Part of the reason this bothered me was because there would be an increasing number of conversations where he would say little to nothing, be generally unresponsive, just not present at all. Even now with a once a day chat, it feels like this. I don’t understand what the point is, I get being tired after work because good grief I’m exhausted after being on my feet all day after an eleven hour shift but hey, if you don’t want to talk, don’t call me. Or call me when you WANT to talk, not out of obligation to fulfill a schedule that you can’t keep up with. He knows I’ve never been keen on this and would be fine not talking every day, so I don’t understand why he’s pushing this when he doesn’t even seem interested in talking.
Another aspect that was upsetting was that he would call, talk about himself for a majority of the conversation, and not ask a singular question about me. Not a how are you, how was your day, how’s work. I started withdrawing after this and kept our conversations short because frankly it was just getting sad and awkward. I don’t want to and never expected to feel awkward with my partner of four years. The only way I knew how to interpret this was that he was giving me very clear signals that he wanted space so I gave it to him. I know sometimes conversations might lean heavier on one person more than the other, but I don’t want constantly to be a dumping ground for him, or to feel talked at, and especially as if whoever I’m talking to doesn’t care enough to ask me how I’m doing. I wouldn’t even call it a conversation at that point.
When I brought this up to him he said it was unfair to treat him like this and do what he did to me back to him, and said that he was tired after working so much and talking all day and that he didn’t really want to talk much but he would rather listen. I replied by saying that if this is what’s up then great, maybe ask about how I am and I’ll have something to say to you because I want to feel like I don’t know like you actually want to talk or that you care about what’s going on with me. He said “you know I care, I shouldn’t have to always ask how you are for you to talk. Just start saying something about yourself.” I tried to see his side and took this as an opportunity to do just that. Frankly maybe I’m not adjusting to this well but he still seems so distant. We have talked more and he’s put in effort to our conversations but they feel so flat, it’s like he’s never entirely there.
The other big issue we’re dealing with is hanging out. I’m borrowing my parents car because mine recently stopped working, he doesn’t have a car and walks to work. While I did have my car, it was getting to a point where I was the only one going to his place. I understand not wanting to be around your partners parents, but I’ve had plenty of opportunities where the house is empty and we have our own space. His reason though, when he told me he didn’t want to come over to my place is because there’s “bad energy”. He’s very spiritual/religious and is fully committed to his beliefs but I just. Is there just an expectation I always drive to you? When I don’t even have my own car? When this was discussed he said he’d be open to the idea of splitting an Uber for when I come over or to meet me somewhere but seemed reluctant. Like the last time we had plans, “I just don’t want to spend money on an Uber or for you to go to to trouble if finding a ride just so you can stay a night. I work tomorrow at ten and I have to do my morning routine and go to bed early so.” Self care is great, I’m fully there, I’m very particular and do not skip out on any of my own routines. But frankly if I want to see someone I’m willing to rearrange something or do it soonelater, whatever it is, to see them. If I want to I will and I can and I am set on making it happen. I know this is a big adjustment for him, we’ve both been out of work for around a year now, so it’s not like he’s in this change alone. Maybe I’m not adjusting well, but it’s so frustrating to feel like I’m putting in effort to something and getting nothing reciprocated. My job is very physically demanding, the hours are long, it’s dirty and it’s extremely tiring. My dad just moved in with my mom and I, he’s sick with cancer and I have gotten barely any sleep at night because I can hear him moaning as he rests. My money is tight, my nerves are fried, and I have a lot to keep up with, but I’ve still put in my effort and energy to see him, talk to him, listen to what he says and ask about him and show him the extent of how much I care. He called me last week in a rare talkative mood and filled me in on so many details of his life that I’ve apparently missed in the month I haven’t seen him and I just felt so uninvolved with him. He’s out with his friends, he’s going to bars and concerts and getting dinner and having what sounds like a really good time. Of course I’ve kept in mind that they all go to see him or pick him up, he doesn’t Uber to anyone or gets a ride from his roommate if he really needs something.
We’ve had a lot of ups and downs, and it feels so stupid to have to end a relationship over this honestly. There have been so many other issues we’ve overcome that were far bigger than this, and it hurts to think that this is why it had to end. Over something that could so easily be fixed. I can’t tell if I’m already on edge and not thinking clearly, maybe we need more time to adjust to this and I’m inpatient. I’ve tried to talk to him about this and he doesn’t seem to get it or take this seriously. I’m at a loss .
TLDR : my boyfriend isn’t showing up for our relationship anymore and I don’t want to regret leaving him if he just needs time to adjust to a new lifestyle.