Hello all! You had great answers for my first start into this, so I'm back with more. I consider myself great at putting the parts together, but pretty shit at understanding the differences in parts, so thanks for the prep work!
As titled, I'm currently prepping to buy the parts for the 120FPS build, because it covers the bases we want below the budget set. So im looking to spend some of the surplus and make it a bit more glowy, and wanted to ask for recommendations. If the prices listed are accurate, should have roughly $600 for upgrades/ glowy bits.
My first thought was switching to the case+fans you recommend for the ultra build. That in total adds like $180, and would open the inside up a bit.
Next, maybe it's just the pictures, but the video card doesn't show off any glowy bits, is there a version of this card you would switch out for more color? Or am I overthinking the amount of RGB already in the build?
Also, storage. Would adding a second SSD be worth it, instead of adding the HDD? mostly storing tons of 3D printer files. Probably better to just get a bigger HDD?
I guess the easiest version of this is; if someone who really understands the parts in the build had access to an extra $600, and wanted it to look more badass, what would you want to add?
The other burning question is liquid cooler for CPUs. I have never dealt with one, always used more traditional coolers. Is there a good youtube video/channel to alleviate my fear of working with it?
Thanks in advance for any knowledge/opinions you are willing to pass on!

So my wife, 5 kids (ages12-23 from 3 different mothers) and I just moved into a 4 bedroom house + Den. We have 3 cats... An orange one (I call him dumbass), a Maine coon (I call him fat ass) and a black and white one (I call her whoreo). We've only lived here for a few weeks and currently I'm not working so I'm using my handyman skills to do some repairs. Now my 2 oldest daughters room is in the attic (or den as they called it) that they share. Now I may be over reacting but dumbass, fatass and whoreo all absolutely refuse to go up to the attic and when forced they hiss, growl and swat at things that we can't see. Along with little things like Stephanie's dolls being found where she knows she didn't put them (always in their room but not on the walls shelves) or Laura's pictures constantly falling off the wall or being found at a weird angle. The cats always run out of the room and look to the roof, hissing and growling and even chittering (my best description of dumbasses noise/action).
I wa always told cats/dogs can feel the presence of spirits even though we can never see them. I recently lost a brother and my wife recently lost an uncle, so I'm just curious it's this just me and my families paranoid mind over-reacting or is this something we should take seriously??
Those pictures that are found at weird angles include our kids and either her uncle or my brother so my mind is racing trying to find a sensical reasoning behind all this stuff.... The only thing is ALL this happens when we are IN this house.
This house was built in 1932 and has a colored history to say the least.... Burnt down once by arson in 1965 in which 1 person died, rebuilt in 1969 and in 1977 the new owner killed himself in the attic in what she (real estate agent) claimed was a "firearm accident".
Don't know if we believe the real estate agent (Re/Max) about these incidents but why would she lie??
So what should I do??.... Already smudged the place with a Nakota Sioux elder and that didn't seem to help. We not moving as buying this house kinda put me and the wife in debt bad but it was the PERFECT house for our family.
Honestly if it was just me seeing these things I would say it was time to quit smoking weed but my wife plus all 5 kids are witnessing these things so I know it just ain't in my head.... My 2 youngest (both boys) (12 and 15) refuse to go up to the attic. My middle daughter (age 16) will only spend a few minutes up there before coming down and telling us she feels like someone is watching her. And no she said it ain't the eldest 2. That really freaks me and the wife out.The cats won't even go near the steps to the attic. My wife won't even go up there, she'll either yell at the 2 girls or come get me to go get the girls if we leaving, having supper etc.....
Please any advice would be greatly appreciated

TLDR - do you know what benefits are associated with the new DI advisor position that was posted at my store? Doesn’t State it’s a VPL role and no benefits are labeled in the job description. ——————————————————————————
So I’ve been with the company longer than i’d like to admit, and when I first started with the company I worked in DI in both Sony and Canon VPL roles. At one point like 3 or 4 years ago they had removed the VPL program from our store for DI and I moved to a Home Theater VPL role (Samsung).
To add some context at my store currently I am the end all beat all when it comes to DI, so as much as I work in home theater everyone in my store knows i’m the go to for camera help which I don’t mind at all because I do have a true passion for Cameras and photography.
A few weeks ago my store recently had a DI advisor role pop up and I thought about taking it and management seemed to be striving very hard to get me to apply. I communicated that the great thing about being a DI VPL back in the day was that we bonused and received a camera that we were able to use for personal use and that I wouldn’t return if these benefits were not in place.
Management seems to want me so badly to return to DI that they are promising to “work out” a camera for personal use for me and that there is a STI bonus structure for the role as well even though none of this is mentioned In the job description.
I guess i’m just worried that they’re blowing smoke trying to get me to apply and i’ll be left In a worse position then where I am now.
wether you know the answer or not i’d still like to hear everyone’s opinion on the situation.

Hey, hi, hello.
I’ve been posting on and off for a few years now and I’m sure some of you are sick of seeing me. Oh well, we’re in this sub for one reason and one reason only: to find a connection and possibly a happy ending.
I’ve been told I’m too picky and too open about myself; I don’t think Im either of these things. We all have different tastes and expectations from other people and that’s fine. And yes, I am very open about who I am, shouldn’t we all be? Would save us some disappointment.
I did try numerous dating sites and chatrooms but to no avail; those whove been in the same situation know what’s that like. I have a fair share of horror stories from dating apps and who knows, one day I could share these with you!!
Before I move onto the spiel about myself and how much of a catch I am please read below:
About you:
-living the UK/Europe/US (max of 6h time difference)
-a straight man
-a homebody, with the occasional want to go out and do things
-aged 29 – 48 (I will not reply if you’re not within the age bracket)
-speak English (for communication purposes duh)
-child free (and must want to remain this way)
-MONOGAMOUS
-NO PREFERENCE HEIGHT OR BODY WISE, I’m all about a nice face
-impeccable basic personal hygiene (not expecting you smelling like your local perfume store)
-no addictions (ie excessive alcohol use, smoking and any type of illegal drugs)
-respectful, loyal, funny, affectionate, caring, loving and patient (a lot of it needed with me).
-will not demand any personal content (if you know what I eamn)
-in full time employment (if we are long distance, how else are you going to fund your travels?)
But beyond all that I’m after a best friend. Someone who will have my back until the end. Someone who will accept me for who I am and wouldn’t want to change me (I can offer the same back). Someone who will enter my life and assume the role of my partner (eventually) and join me on this rather bizarre journey called life. Don’t give up on me and I wont give up on you.
I will not respond to any messages along the lines of ‘hru’. ‘hi’.
Once again, no budging on the age or location.
If your profile contains anything inappropriate, I won’t respond either.
I think I made myself more than clear.
Just one more thing, I promise!!!!
This is not to get any attention or sympathy or help; more of a prewarning. I have met a lot of amazing people on here who got their hopes up about me and once things didn’t seem to be as amazing as this image, they had of me they left.
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at the age of 12, as well as severe anxiety (no self-diagnosis here, by an actual professional). I take meds for it but some days are worse than the others. I’m also on the waiting list to get help, but like me you’re in the UK you’ll know what this is like (no issues with the NHS, they’re amazing; just overworked and understaffed). I can’t afford to go privately. At this moment in time,I am about 2 years away from seeing someone.
I suffer from fibromyalgia (if you don’t know what this is, just google it) in late 2019 after ruling everything out. I have days when I’m extremely exhausted and in a lot of pain. I still go to work and try to go on about my life as much as possible but please bear that in mind.
Ive been taking all sorts of meds too, including painkillers to control the pain.
Please don’t see me as someone hopeless or feel sorry for me. This is not the point of this confession.
My name is Anita and I’m a 29yo Eastern European woman, living in the UK just outside of Bristol. I’ve been here for the last 17 years and I consider myself England my home. I’m not considering moving back at any point in my life (however I’ll move elsewhere for the right reasons and right person). I will share my exact location once we’re acquainted a bit more.
I’m 6ft tall (yes I am this tall and I’m aware that it’s way too tall for a woman) and. weight approx 13st or 200lbs (my weight keeps fluctuating a lot and no, I’m not looking for any tips to lose weight). I dye my hair red but it’s more like ginger these days. I have green eyes (they’re useless as I wear glasses) and I wear a lot of black eyeliner lol. I guess you could say I’m kinda emo/goth?
An extreme introvert since I was a young one (definitely not shy, in fact I can get a bit volatile when it comes to standing up for myself). I don’t need to get out of my shell, so none of that please. I like my own company as well as my loved ones; and leaving the house only for work and groceries suits me well.
I’m a vegetarian (not a deal breaker if you’re not; your choice is to eat meat and mine isn’t. Respect it and you shall receive the same back). I think it’s time for everyone live and let others live too.
Tea, coffee and snack addict! (I love herbal tea with no sugar or milk; coffee wise I like a good cap or a caramel macchiato as a treat. Snack wise anything goes really. Fruit, crisps, cake and sweets!)
Bookworm (I haven’t read in a long time, I love books I promise. Just haven’t had much time lately. I have a stack of them which is growing. I need to finally find some time and immerse myself in one of many crime novels I have).
Apolitical (now, I read the news everyday but I do not support any of the parties. They don’t care about you or me, sorry to break this to you).
Animal lover (I have 4 rescued cats two boys and two girls aged between 10-11 who are my absolute life. In total, my mum and I have rescued about 60 cats in the last 10 years. We found them safe and loving homes but for some of them unfortunately it was too late).
No addictions here (I don’t drink or smoke; although I like my vapes a lot).
In my spare time (whatever I get of it) I like to go for walks, listen to music and podcasts, nap, watch tv, chill with my mum and cats, go shopping and grab a coffee with my ma, visit my brother in London, over eat, over think and read books.
I don’t really have any hobbies.
I don’t game religiously but I do enjoy sims 4 (someone told me that isn’t gaming although I’d say it’s a computer game so clues in the name but what do I know, right?) I don’t watch anime either, tried once and couldn’t get into it.
As you can tell, I’m just a relatively unremarkable human being, trying to find her place in this world. And I’m happy about that, being in the limelight is the last thing I know.
With that being said, if you managed to get through my ramblings and they somewhat resonated with you, shoot me a message.
Message me with your name, age and location and what caught your eye about my post. Don’t have to send me your picture right away; I won’t send mine until I’m comfortable enough. To show that you have read, end your message with ‘toodlepip’.
I will respond as soon as I can but please note that there might be delays in messaging back due to well… life being life I suppose.
And if you didn’t like what you read… well then scroll along, no need to let me know about this in the comments or to message me to call me names. It’s nice to be nice.
Thank you for reading this and looking forward to seeing some messages. If not, best of luck in your search!!!

Hello! I am new to Geneva and lost my wallet on my flight here. As a result I'm not able to withdraw cash or use anything besides the cards on my Apple Pay (contactless payment). I will only be here for 3 more months so I don't think it'll be worth it to open a bank account here. Is there any laundromat you know of in Geneva (near Carouge/Champel) that accepts contactless pay? I know some that take card, but it must be the physical card that you swipe through the machine.
I was also thinking of buying a gift card that can be used at any business (they have these in the US, like a prepaid gift card) but the only ones I can find are for specific stores or restaurants. Or even a gift card that I could withdraw money from at an ATM? Thank you in advance for your help!

Hi, I am in Shanghai for a few days and would like a few RC stores so I can take a visit. I am wanting to buy some Tamiya kits, so a plamodel factory would be awesome. Many thanks.

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Tl;Dr I'm probably going to have to tell someone I would probably fall in love with that I can't be anything with them because I'm crazy. The very painful part will be when she realizes it and moves on and gets with someone and I have to live with it. I hate my fucking brain.
This won't be a harsh self deprication vent, but I have recognized aspects of myself and that's why I chose to be single. It's something I try to work on and I give love a shot again but I always end up going down that same familiar road. And I don't like it. I put it in the same lack of self control and discipline as addiction. You can't fucking control it, it just happens.
I either just have been very very very unlucky or I've been gaslit to think I'm toxic....I don't really know, but the last relationship I was in was very bad...but the one prior to that was ok I guess now that I think about it. But I panicked and broke it off because things were going well. I want that hurt type of love, and I don't know why. I think the highs in a toxic relationship unload euphoric feelings throughout the body, but then when things are bad because someone may think they want space, I've been the spaced and the space-ee. Both ways it's a complete meltdown because the other person wants nothing else but to be with the other. Obviously this type of dynamic isn't healthy for anyone.
I've face book stalked my ex's, not in an obsessive way, but like a curious way, several years down the road. After the sting is gone. And I see them leading seemingly happy lives, and I am nothing's but happy for them. I've never reached out to anyone, just living my life. I'm 37 by the way. Longest relationship I was in was 4 years.
I know what unconditional love is. Means what it means, unconditional. You create a bond. And to me, that bond can never be broken. It can be stretched, but never broken.
I've fallen in love when I was 15 to someone that I still think about to this day. Our encounter was brief, but exciting. She ended up making out with my buddy who was dating another friend of mine and I made him tell. Me and the girl never talked until we were in our 20s. She professed her love for me, and I to her. But I was also with someone else I fell in love with. We never had the opportunity to build, and I was dealing with drama from the current girlfriend because she was cheating on me...that unconditional love? Yea, it fucking sucks sometimes...still love her to this day.
So now with the current girlfriend, her cheating, me smoking. She was deal breaker against it, but I'm addicted, so I snuck. I knew she knew, cmon, how dumb do you think I think she is? Anyone who sneaks it, your partner knows. And now it's easier because of vaping. But she equated that to a cardinal sin. Which I can't argue with that. Her perception of the world is what it is, and mine is mine. Remember that buddy that made out with my first love? When I was working 70hrs a week to help build a life, she was fucking him. They got married, moved out of state. I haven't talked to him in years. Fuck that guy. Maybe I deserved it, I wasn't prince charming. We both did bad, sucks because we love each other. There's a slim possibility she'll read this but probably won't comment on it, same as I do with hers. And there's no way for anyone else to guess who the other poster is.
So years pass and I date off and on with basically roommates, nine of them were terrible, but I never loved anyone and didn't care about feelings. So I stopped dating to work on myself. Thought I was doing great, went through an entire Sam Harris/Terrence McKenna phase. I learned transcendental meditation even though those quacks say you can't, lol ...fuck David Lynch. I can meditate into the void and float in the nothingness. I've sat in a closet for 8 hours, tripping on muahrooms to confront my demons. I took an ounce of mushrooms,.ground it up into a powder, mixed it in orange and lime juice and went into parallel worlds where I lived for years before waking up. I've seen all that there is to see inside my soul. But they still want to grab the wheel.
Met the 3rd woman at the shop I worked at. She was separated but the husband still would show up with their kids when we would meet up. That relationship was terrible. Shes an alcoholic and I though I could handle that, but the demons took over and I was reactive the entire time. She said she was manic but she self diagnosed. But she wasn't right. I don't blame her, she's a good person, unless you live with her. It ended very badly because I was too controlling and she was crazy. Not a good combo.
So it's been about 6 or 7 years and I feel good about myself. I have 2 vehicles. I work at an amazing place, I'm working on credit and all that stuff. I'm buying my parents house which will be et a steal and I can have farm animals and a garden. My health is decent and I could stand to loose about 40 pounds but other than. That? Like Im happy. I have a few animals that keep me company. But I do crave a friendship and I think older people know it's hard to have a best friend or a confidant. Someone you can just talk to any time, any day. People are busy. People have family's.
Now enter in this last week. Someone started working at the shop I work at. I think she's cute, so what, think a lot of people are cute. But she gives me that feeling. The same ones I got with the other loves. And it was always that instant. Maybe it's coincidence, maybe there's a scientific explanation for it, but I feel it with this girl. And goddamnit is she flirting from afar. I know, it's 50/50 that she is even flirting but I'm usually.riggt about these things. I can read body language. But I don't want it, I don't want to flirt with her. I don't want to make small talk. But I think that'll make her think I'm playing hard to get. I don't want to be in a relationship.

I’m feeling a lot of emotions and would appreciate some advice to help with perspective and also just rant I guess.
My husband and I had our first baby in December 2023 and we have planned a vacation for our babies first birthday (December 2024) with both of our families. We decided since baby won’t remember their first birthday, we’d rather spend the money on a nice vacation with both sides of the family and baby.
My sister told me today she is pregnant and guess what? Her due date is my baby’s birthday. We do not have a good relationship in general.
Some context…When I found out I was pregnant, we went with my mom to a baby store to shop around and I was really excited to buy something for my first baby. When we were at the store, she insisted on buying two of everything “for her baby some day. She just kept doing this throughout my entire pregnancy.
When I was in labor at the hospital, my dad called her and her husband and said they need to have a baby right away. This really upset me because I’m literally in labor about to deliver my first child and my dad is making it about my sister. And with the history of her constantly referring to “her baby” (which was non existent) throughout my entire pregnancy, it just made me so irritated. I never said anything but deep down I was upset.
All of the sudden when she found out I’m pregnant, my sister starts seeing my OBGYN (had a different one before she found out who my OBGYN was). She always said she wants a baby in a year or two and that she wants a summer baby. After finding out I’m pregnant, she stops birth control and starts taking prenatals and again - anytime I did something for my baby that I was pregnant with - she would bring up “her baby” that she didn’t even have.
I’m just feeling so upset and down because of all the days and months she could get pregnant, why did it have to be the exact same time I did with my first baby? The due date is seriously my baby’s birthday? And her due date is my baby’s FIRST birthday. Most likely won’t be able to go on the vacation we wanted to in order to celebrate my baby’s birthday with our families. And I’m upset about my baby having to share a birthday / birth week whatever with her cousin. Birthdays are special days and I know people will be like “but omg how cool they can celebrate together ! “ well personally I’m not a type of person who wants to celebrate my birthday with someone else so I don’t want that for my child.
It stings a lot because it’s like the excitement of my baby’s first birthday will be overshadowed by my sisters labodelivery and then my baby has to share a bday or almost share a bday with her cousin for the rest of her life.
I want to be happy for my sister but deep down I am feeling resentful and upset.

Until I started subtitling the audiobook, I never considered reading the English version of LOTM. To my surprise, the quality of the English translation seems somewhat 'disrespectful' to the original book. With the money Qidian made from it, they should have hired at least one English literature graduate, if not three English literature professors, to proofread it.
Even though I'm not a native English speaker, I couldn't resist the urge to translate some parts in my own way. One thing led to another, and now I have a brand new translation of Chapter One.
Now, I have a question for my fellow fans of LTOM:

• Do you think this is a much better translation that you would like to wait and use it for subtitling LOTM's audiobooks? Or
• Do you feel the difference is so minimal that you'd prefer me to use the original translation so I can release subtitled audiobooks faster?

Here is another thread of mine discussing subtitling LOTM's audiobooks: https://www.reddit.com/LordofTheMysteries/comments/1csz252/dramatized_audiobooks_with_english_subtitles/, in case you're interested.

Ouch!
Ow…ouch!
Ow…my head is killing me!
The fantastic yet surreal dream surrounded by whispering and murmuring shattered away instantly, Zhou Mingrui who was sound asleep felt an abrupt throbbing pain deep inside his head, as if his head were ruthlessly clubbed. No, it felt more like something sharp penetrated his temple, followed by twisting and stirring.
Feeling disoriented, Zhou Mingrui wanted to turn around, clutch his head, or sit up. Yet, unable to move his hands or feet, he felt like he had lost all control over his body.
Looks like I’m still in some sort of dream, didn’t really wake up… Moments later, I might even think I'm fully awake, only to realize I'm still asleep… Familiar with such experiences, Zhou Mingrui tried desperately to concentrate, hoping to break free from the grip of darkness and disorientation.
However, trapped between wakefulness and sleep, the willpower was as elusive as smoke, difficult to control and concentrate. Despite his efforts, his thoughts kept wandering wildly, with all sorts of ideas coming and going.
How could I suddenly have a headache out of nowhere in the middle of the night?
Especially one which hurts so badly!
Could it be something like a cerebral hemorrhage?
Damn, am I going to die at such a young age?
Wake up! Wake UP!
Huh? Doesn't feel as painful now? Although it still feels like a blunt knife is cutting through my brains…
Sure thing is, I won’t be able to fall asleep any more. How am I supposed to show up for work tomorrow?
Why even bother going to work? This is a legitimate headache, perfect for time off! And no need to worry about the manager's grumblings.
Put it this way, it’s not so bad after all. Yea, free time off for me!
In between the waves of throbbing pain, Zhou Mingrui gradually accumulated a sense of elusive strength. Finally, with a determined effort, he straightened his back and opened his eyes, breaking free from the state of half-sleep and half-wake.
His vision was blurry at first, then tinged with a faint crimson hue. In his line of sight, Zhou Mingrui saw a sturdy wooden desk, upon which lay an open notebook. The papers were rough and yellowed. Where the title supposed to be, there was a sentence written in strange characters, with eye-catching thick, dark ink that seemed ready to drip.
To the left of the notebook, along the edge of the desk, was a stack of seven or eight neatly arranged books. On the wall to their right, were grayish-white pipes inset into the wall, with wall lamps at their ends.
The lamps had a classical Western style, about half the size of an adult's head. It featured a transparent inner layer made of glass and an exterior grid made of black metal.
Diagonally beneath the unlit lamp, was a black ink bottle shrouded in a pale red glow.
On its embossed surface was a blurry angel figure.
In front of the ink bottle and to the right of the notebook, lay a dark-colored pen with a fully circular body. Its tip shimmered with a faint glint while its cap rested right beside a brass revolver.
A gun?
A revolver?
Zhou Mingrui was completely taken aback. Everything in front of him felt absolutely alien, nothing looked like his own room.
Shocked and confused, he came to the realization that the desk, the notebook, the ink bottle, and the revolve were all coated with a layer of crimson “veil” from the light shining through the window.
Without realizing what he was doing, he raised his head, looking up bit by bit.
In the midair, beyond the heavy smooth darkness, hung a crimson full moon, glowing silently.
Hiss… Zhou Mingrui felt inexplicably horrified, as he stood up abruptly. However, before he could fully straighten his knees, a throbbing pain struck his head, draining all his strength. He fell, with his buttocks slammed heavily back onto the burly wood chair.
The pain didn’t stop him for a moment. Zhou Mingrui popped up, turned around in a fluster, and began examining his surroundings.
The room was not big, with a brown door on both of his sides. Against the wall in front of him, was a wooden bunk bed. Between the bed and the door to the left was a cabinet with two opposing doors and five drawers beneath them.
Next to the cabinet was a pipe of the same grayish-white, inset into the wall at the height of a person. What distinct it is that it connected to a strange looking mechanical device, which had a few of gears and bearings exposed here and there.
Items resembling coal stoves, sat in the right corner of the room near the desk, along with some kitchenware such as soup pots and iron pans.
Through the right door, was a dressing mirror with a couple of cracks, standing on a wooden base emboss with simple plain patterns.
While looking around, Zhou Mingrui noticed himself in the mirror, the present him.
Dark hair, brown eyes, wearing a linen shirt, slim, average-looking features and a rather deep outline…
Hiss… Zhou Mingrui grasped the situation immediately as many helpless and confused thoughts surfaced in his mind.
The revolver, the classical European style decorations, as well as the crimson moon that looked nothing like Earth's moon—all of them were screaming the exact same thing.
Who am I?
C-could I have transmigrated?
Zhou Mingrui's mouth slowly opened wider and wider, bit by bit.
He had grown up reading web novels, even fantasized about such scenes from time to time. However, the fantasy was incredibly difficult to accept now that he found himself in one.
Classic "Talk? Yes, yes! Action? No, no!", isn’t it?
In less than a minute, Zhou Mingrui had already started to sarcastically critique, attempting to make the best of whatever situation he found himself in.
But for the throbbing headache forcing him to think fast and sharply, he would for sure be convinced that he was dreaming.
Easy, easy, easy…taking deep breaths, Zhou Mingrui was trying really hard to make himself to calm down.
Just as his mind and body began to relax, pieces of memories started to flush, slowly flooding into his consciousness.
Klein Moretti.
A citizen of the City of Tingen, Awwa County, Loen Kingdom in the Northern Continent
Recently graduated from the Department of History at Khoy University…
His father was a sergeant of the Imperial Army, who had sacrificed his life during a colonial ware with the Southern Continent. His bereavement allowance made it possible for Klein to study at a private literature school, paving the way for his admission into university…
His mother was a devotee of the Evernight Goddess, who passed away the year Klein passed the entrance examinations to Khoy University…
He also had an elder brother and a younger sister, living together in a two-bedroom apartment.
Their family was far from wealthy, and its financial situation could even be described as somewhat strained.
Currently, the family was supported solely by the elder brother who worked as a clerk at an import and export company …
As a college graduate majored in history, Klein was proficient in the ancient language of Feysac, considering the origin of all languages in the Northern Continent, as well as the language of Hermes, which was commonly found in ancient mausoleums and often associated with sacrificial scenes and praying rituals.
Hermes?!
Zhou Mingrui's mind started to race as he reached out to rub his throbbing temples.
He cast his gaze toward the desk at the opened notebook, but to realize that the strange looking characters on the yellowed paper started to look somewhat familiar, then increasingly recognizable, and finally comprehensible.
It was a statement written in Hermes!
The thick, dark ink, seemingly ready to drip, read:
“Everyone will die including me myself!”
Hiss! Zhou Mingrui felt inexplicably horrified. He instinctively leaned back, attempting to escape away from the notebook, and the ominous statement on it.
Being so weak, he almost fell down, but managed to extend his hands in a fluster to grasp the edge of the desk.
He felt that air around him air started to roar, filled with faint whispering and murmurings. It felt just like listening to horror stories told by elders when he was young.
He shook his head, telling himself that all these were nothing but an illusion. Getting back onto his feet, he looked away from the notebook while still breathing heavily.
This time, his sight landed on the shimmering brass revolver, immediately realizing something unexplainable.
With Klein's social status, in what universe he would have the money or access to buy a revolver?!
Zhou Mingrui couldn't help but furrow his brow. Deeply puzzled, his eyes were caught by a reddish handprint at the edge of the desk, which was even darker than the moonlight, as well as thicker than the “veil”.
It was a bloody handprint!
A bloody handprint?
Zhou Mingrui instinctly flipped his right hand, that was pushing against the edge of the desk. Looking at it, he saw his palm and fingers covered in blood.
In the meaning time, the throbbing pain was getting a little bit better, yet didn’t go away, binding him like one tie after another.
Did I smash and injure my head? Zhou Mingrui guessed as he turned around, walking towards the cracked dressing mirror. After just a few of steps, a medium build figure of dark hair and brown eyes appeared clearly in front of him. The person had a distinct scholarly air to him.
Is this the present me?
Klein Moretti?
Zhou Mingrui was stunned. The poor lighting of the night obscured his vision, preventing him from clearly discerning something he had noticed. He continued forward until he was just a step away from colliding with the mirror.
Illumined by the crimson veil-like moonlight, he turned his head and began to examine the side of his forehead. A clear reflection appeared in the mirror. There, no his temple, was a grotesque wound with burn marks around the edges, blood staining the surrounding area. Grayish-white brain matter was slowly seeping out from within.

My NDad's primary mode of communication is to repeat the same sentence with minor variations over and over. He of course requires you to give him your full attention and to agree with him after each sentence, no matter how many times you've already agreed with him. He also does this in place of actually asking for things, instead choosing to repeat reasons why you should do something, why something needs to be done, why what you want to do instead is a bad idea, the same 4 or 5 anecdotes about him and his two friends when they were young, or what he wants over and over. This leads to situations where you have to guess what he wants, and if you guess wrong he gets angry.
Every "conversation" with him in it is just him endlessly spewing minor variations of the same points over and over while everyone tells him they agree. he's a very special boy, and generally mother him like he's six.
An example. My car had a bad alternator that killed the battery; in the maybe two days it was out of commission as I was finding a mechanic who works with two-decade-old European cars and arrange a tow/appointment, he would repeat over and over sentences like "You know how important a car is, right?", "Well, your car isn't safe to drive right now", "You need to get it fixed, okay?", "I'm saying this because it's very important", "You know that you need to go to the mechanic, right?", "Well, just think about calling them", "You need to find a mechanic, okay? Because it's important to get that car fixed. You can't let it sit around, alright? That would be unfair to us, to have it sitting around."
The kicker? The alternator broke while I was picking up my brother from work, because my dad "forgot" it was his job and got sloshed on whiskey shots. Funny how he never seems to consider all the ways that he isn't perfect or precognitive!
And this isn't spread out across the day; no, this is all one after the other in an intense staredown "conversation" (I've seen scoldings with more two-way communication than he's capable of). He says a few of those sentences, I look him straight in the eyes and say "Yes" or "I know" or "I'm already looking for a mechanic" or even "I scheduled a tow, it's being picked up at 9AM tomorrow"... and he does not stop talking. After I say I have been looking for a mechanic, his very next sentence will be something like "Okay, because it's important to find one." And then he'll end the "conversation" by saying "So, look up a mechanic, because it's really important you get the car fixed." Like he's not listening to me at all. It's utterly infuriating. There's absolutely nothing I can do or say to get him to stop until he's all finished dumping on me.
He'll pull me aside to scold and chide me, then I'll say "I already did that" or "I've been doing that already" or "I'm already doing it (holds up thing to gesture)", and he'll just keep going. He will lecture me about not doing something when I've already done the thing, and just repeat over and over how important it is, how hard it is for him that I'm not doing it, and how I need to do it.
He once filled the recycling bin from empty to full with a bunch of boxes while my brother was at school, then whipped himself into a simmering rage because my brother hadn't emptied it (while he was at school...), and then first thing he did when my brother came through the door was to scold him, tell him how important it is to take out the recycling, to literally bring him to the bin and point at it and go "See, it's full!", and even follow him as he brings the bin outside to keep telling him how important it is that he empties it. While he was emptying it. And the whole time, I just wonder; how it's worth it?
How is it worth it in my N's mind? He'll pin you down and lecture you for five minutes for a one-minute chore. If he would just ask one time, everything that upsets him would be completed so much sooner. If he would be honest and say what he means, he'd get what he wants way sooner, and he could be less upset all the time.
It's immensely draining, and I'm not sure why. Is it decoding his intentions, walking on eggshells and fearing catching a scolding entirely out of my control, the implication that I don't understand and need him to repeat himself, the making decisions for me, the way he treats me like I'm the bad guy or he has a problem with me...? Whichever way, even a one-minute talk with him can take me from energized to ready to go to bed, even if I just woke up.
And don't get me started on when he wants to show you something. Whether it's to belittle you or scold you or get you to praise him for buying granola bars at the grocery store (yes, really...), he'll bring the item right up to you and literally point at it like you're an idiot. He bought almond granola bars and he literally told me he got them, then brought me to the cupboard to show me, then picked up the box and told me again, then literally pointed at the big words on it that said "almonds", and then told me again that he bought them.
Can anyone relate?

I’m feeling a lot of emotions and would appreciate some advice to help with perspective and also just rant I guess.
My husband and I had our first baby in December 2023 and we have planned a vacation for our babies first birthday (December 2024) with both of our families. We decided since baby won’t remember their first birthday, we’d rather spend the money on a nice vacation with both sides of the family and baby.
My sister told me today she is pregnant and guess what? Her due date is my baby’s birthday. We do not have a good relationship in general.
Some context…When I found out I was pregnant, we went with my mom to a baby store to shop around and I was really excited to buy something for my first baby. When we were at the store, she insisted on buying two of everything “for her baby some day. She just kept doing this throughout my entire pregnancy.
When I was in labor at the hospital, my dad called her and her husband and said they need to have a baby right away. This really upset me because I’m literally in labor about to deliver my first child and my dad is making it about my sister. And with the history of her constantly referring to “her baby” (which was non existent) throughout my entire pregnancy, it just made me so irritated. I never said anything but deep down I was upset.
All of the sudden when she found out I’m pregnant, my sister starts seeing my OBGYN (had a different one before she found out who my OBGYN was). She always said she wants a baby in a year or two and that she wants a summer baby. After finding out I’m pregnant, she stops birth control and starts taking prenatals and again - anytime I did something for my baby that I was pregnant with - she would bring up “her baby” that she didn’t even have.
I’m just feeling so upset and down because of all the days and months she could get pregnant, why did it have to be the exact same time I did with my first baby? The due date is seriously my baby’s birthday? And her due date is my baby’s FIRST birthday. Most likely won’t be able to go on the vacation we wanted to in order to celebrate my baby’s birthday with our families. And I’m upset about my baby having to share a birthday / birth week whatever with her cousin. Birthdays are special days and I know people will be like “but omg how cool they can celebrate together ! “ well personally I’m not a type of person who wants to celebrate my birthday with someone else so I don’t want that for my child.
It stings a lot because it’s like the excitement of my baby’s first birthday will be overshadowed by my sisters labodelivery and then my baby has to share a bday or almost share a bday with her cousin for the rest of her life.
I want to be happy for my sister but deep down I am feeling resentful and upset.

Hi all. Have got myself a 1992 Vivio with an EN07A that I'm trying to find basic parts for. Unfortunately local auto stores only seem to have information on the EFI models so am wondering if anyone knows any good resources for parts so I can find things like the factory spark plugs so I can firstly confirm it has the correct plugs in it and secondly buy the correct plugs to replace them. The internet seems to be pretty limited on vivio knowledge so am hoping some of you legends can assist

Everyone is saying that Temu is bad because of all the data mining and slave labor and stuff like that. I want to know is there any ethical alternatives to Temu that offer cheap products that can be bought in bulk and offers a plethora of items of different categories such as clothing, earbuds, workout equipment, etc. I used to buy clothes from Temu and was surprised at how much stuff i could buy for no less than $15+ in total which helped me save so much more money whereas for stores like Amazon i'll be paying at least $20 for only like 2 shirts, plus tax and plus shipping which can be around $5.99. So almost close to $30.
Reasons like that is why i would prefer apps like Temu however i'm aware of all controversy surrounding it and other China-based apps like it and I fully agree with everyone's concerns. But this app have saved me so much money and are the only one's i can think of that sell clothes and other things at very affordable prices to where you can buy a load of items and still save so more money than you would on more ethical online shopping stores like Amazon or eBay.
And yes i understand the reasoning for this is because the materials used are of a cheaper quality or probably knock-offs of the original product. But it's still something that has been very convenient for somebody like me whose been struggling financially to some degree but at the same time im also very aware of the shady and malicious happenings behind it and want to get rid of it. I just hope that there are other stores like it but with better ethics. However I don't know what else to look for. Does anybody else feel this way about apps like Temu? Any recommendations would really help. Thank you and sorry for this being a very long post.

Taking csgo skins mainly (knives, gloves, aks, m4s, awps and so on). Anything as long as offer is good
I don't update this list everyday, so I have many items which aren't listed here. Check if something interests you! Also, some of the items are on trade hold, for release date you can add me or check by yourself.
TRADE LINK: https://steamcommunity.com/tradeoffenew/?partner=35769104&token=J30wyEpy
Add me to talk here: https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561197996034832
Keys from these buy outs aren't TF2 keys. I don't take Hydra keys either.
Buy outs are in keys for the sake of having a buy out, I trade for skins mainly.
Gloves/wraps:
Gloves Cool Mint FT - B/O 74 keys
Gloves Smoke Out MW - B/O 61 keys
Gloves Finish Line MW - B/O 53 keys
Gloves Turtle MW - B/O 51 keys
Wraps Overprint FT - B/O 40 keys
Gloves Rezan MW - B/O 36 keys
Gloves Polygon FT - B/O 34 keys
Gloves Lt. Commander FT - B/O 33 keys
Gloves Mogul FT - B/O 32 keys
Gloves Overtake MW - B/O 31 keys
Wraps Leather FT - B/O 31 keys
Gloves Polygon WW - B/O 30 keys
Gloves Boom FT - B/O 29 keys
Gloves POW WW - B/O 28 keys
Gloves Cool Mint BS - B/O 28 keys
Gloves Smoke Out FT - B/O 27 keys
Gloves Mogul WW - B/O 26 keys
Gloves Lunar Weave FT - B/O 25 keys
Gloves Bronze Morph FT - B/O 24 keys
Gloves Turtle FT - B/O 23 keys
Gloves Diamondback FT - B/O 22 keys
Gloves Black Tie BS - B/O 21 keys
Gloves Jade FT - B/O 20 keys
Gloves Unhinhed MW - B/O 20 keys
Gloves 3rd Commmando Company MW - B/O 19 keys
Gloves Forest Ddpat FT - B/O 18 keys
Gloves Rezan FT - B/O 18 keys
Gloves Overtake FT - B/O 17 keys
Gloves Jade BS - B/O 16 keys
Wraps Constrictor MW - B/O 16 keys
Gloves Blood Pressure BS - B/O 16 keys
Gloves Needle Point MW - B/O 16 keys
Gloves Case Hardened BS - B/O 16 keys
Gloves POW BS - B/O 16 keys
Gloves Boom BS - B/O 15 keys
Gloves Diamondback BS - B/O 15 keys
Wraps Desert Shamagh MW - B/O 15 keys
Wraps Arboreal FT - B/O 14 keys
Gloves Finish Line BS - B/O 14 keys
Gloves Rezan BS - B/O 14 keys
Gloves Yellow-banded FT - B/O 14 keys
Gloves Buckshot FT - B/O 13 keys
Gloves Needle Point FT - B/O 13 keys
Gloves Unhinged FT - B/O 13 keys
Gloves Transport FT - B/O 13 keys
Wraps Constrictor FT - B/O 13 keys
Wraps Arboreal WW - B/O 13 keys
Wraps Duct Tape FT - B/O 13 keys
Gloves Bronzed FT - B/O 13 keys
Gloves Guerrilla FT - B/O 13 keys
Wraps Desert Shamagh FT - B/O 13 keys
Gloves Convoy FT - B/O 12 keys
Gloves Guerrilla BS - B/O 12 keys
Gloves Bronzed WW - B/O 12 keys
Gloves Overtake BS - B/O 12 keys
Wraps Constrictor BS - B/O 12 keys
Gloves Emerald FT - B/O 12 keys
Wraps Duct Tape WW - B/O 12 keys
Gloves Bronzed BS - B/O 11 keys
Gloves Convoy WW - B/O 11 keys
Gloves Mangrove MW - B/O 11 keys
Gloves 3rd Commando Company WW - B/O 11 keys
Gloves Yellow-banded BS - B/O 11 keys
Gloves Transport BS - B/O 11 keys
Gloves Rattler FT - B/O 10 keys
Gloves Emerald WW - B/O 10 keys
Gloves Emerald BS - B/O 10 keys
Gloves Racing Green FT - B/O 10 keys
Knives and high tier items:
AWP Fade FN - B/O 190 keys
Glock Emerald FN - B/O 100 keys
UMP Fade FN - B/O 85 keys
Butterfly Ultraviolet FT - B/O 150 keys
Butterfly Urban Masked FT - B/O 105 keys
Butterfly Safari Mesh WW - B/O 105 keys
Kukri Crimson Web MW - B/O 135 keys
Kukri Vanilla - B/O 112 keys
Karambit Lore FT - B/O 160 keys
Karambit Freehand FN - B/O 140 keys
Karambit Rust Coat BS - B/O 105 keys
Karambit Forest Ddpat FT - B/O 90 keys
Karambit Scorched FT - B/O 90 keys
Karambit Safari Mesh MW - B/O 90 keys
M9 Safari Mesh FT - B/O 73 keys
Bayonet Case Hardened MW - B/O 80 keys
Bayonet Freehand FN - B/O 64 keys
Bayonet Stained WW - B/O 44 keys
Bayonet Rust Coat BS - B/O 42 keys
Bayonet Night FT - B/O 42 keys
Bayonet Urban Masked FT - B/O 37 keys
Talon Vanilla - B/O 90 keys
Talon Night FT - B/O 53 keys
Talon Urban Masked WW - B/O 45 keys
Talon Boreal Forest FT - B/O 45 keys
Skeleton Safari Mesh FT - B/O 41 keys
Stiletto Ultraviolet WW - B/O 41 keys
Stiletto Night WW - B/O 35 keys
Stiletto Forest Ddpat MW - B/O 34 keys
Stiletto Forest Ddpat BS - B/O 30 keys
Classic Slaughter FN - B/O 70 keys
Classic Vanilla - B/O 57 keys
Classic Case Hardened BS - B/O 34 keys
Classic Stained FT - B/O 31 keys
Classic Night MW - B/O 29 keys
Clasic Urban Masked FT - B/O 24 keys
Classic Scorched BS - B/O 22 keys
Classic Urban Masked BS - B/O 21 keys
Flip Autotronic MW - B/O 61 keys
Flip Freehand MW - B/O 40 keys
Flip Bright Water FT - B/O 36 keys
Flip Ultraviolet WW - B/O 32 keys
Flip Urban Masked MW - B/O 31 keys
Flip Rust Coat BS - B/O 30 keys
Flip Boreal Forest FT - B/O 25 keys
Ursus Case Hardened FT - B/O 43 keys
Ursus Scorched MW - B/O 21 keys
Ursus Scorched FT - B/O 20 keys
Ursus Forest Ddpat Ft - B/O 19 keys
Ursus Safari Mesh WW - B/O 18 keys
Ursus Boreal Forest BS - B/O 18 keys
Nomad Fade FN - B/O 185 keys
Nomad Urban Masked MW - B/O 56 keys
Nomad Night FT - B/O 55 keys
Nomad Scorched MW - B/O 33 keys
Nomad Scorched FT - B/O 29 keys
Nomad Urban Masked BS - B/O 25 keys
Nomad Safari MEsh FT - B/O 25 keys
Huntsman Doppler FN - B/O 95 keys
Huntsman Slaughter MW - B/O 60 keys
Huntsman Case Hardened WW - B/O 40 keys
Huntsman Lore FT - B/O 36 keys
Huntsman Blue Steel FT - B/O 35 keys
Huntsman Autotronic BS - B/O 33 keys
Huntsman Crimson Web FT - B/O 31 keys
Huntsman Black Laminate WW - B/O 25 keys
Huntsman Bright Water MW - B/O 25 keys
Huntsman Freehand FT - B/o 23 keys
Huntsman Forest Ddpat MW - B/O 22 keys
Huntsman Ultraviolet FT - B/O 21 keys
Huntsman Ultraviolet BS - B/O 21 keys
Huntsman Scorched FT - B/O 20 keys
Huntsman Rust Coat BS - B/o 19 keys
Huntsman Safari Mesh BS - B/O 19 keys
Huntsman Boreal Forest FT - B/O 19 keys
Bowie Marble Fade FN - B/o 53 keys
Bowie Case Hardened MW - B/O 48 keys
Bowie Case Hardened FT - B/O 40 keys
Bowie Case Hardened BS - B/O 35 keys
Bowie Crimson Web WW - B/O 30 keys
Bowie Autotronic FT - B/O 29 keys
Bowie Freehand FT - B/o 23 keys
Bowie Bright Water FN - B/O 22 keys
Bowie Ultraviolet FT - B/O 20 keys
Bowie Bright Water FT - B/O 19 keys
Bowie Black Laminate WW - B/O 19 keys
Bowie Forest Ddpat WW - B/o 18 keys
Bowie Night BS - B/O 18 keys
Bowie Safari Mesh FT ST - B/O 18 keys
Bowie Boreal Forest FT - B/o 17 keys
Bowie Forest Ddpat FT - B/O 17 keys
Falchion Emerald FN - B/O 210 keys
Falchion Gamma Doppler FN P3 - B/O 80 keys
Falchion Lore FT - B/O 33 keys
Falchion Crimson Web FT - B/O 30 keys
Falchion Freehand FT - B/O 25 keys
Falchion Black Laminate MW - B/O 21 keys
Falchion Bright Water FT - B/O 21 keys
Falchion Safari Mesh MW ST - B/O 19 keys
Falchion Night BS - B/O 19 keys
Falchion Urban Masked BS - B/O 18 keys
Falchion Boreal Forest FT - B/O 18 keys
Paracord Stained FT - B/O 21 keys
Paracord Stained WW - B/O 20 keys
Paracord Safari Mesh FT - B/O 15 keys
Paracord Safari Mesh WW - B/O 15 keys
Survival Case Hardened MW - B/O 43 keys
Survival Case Hardened FT - B/O 35 keys
Survival Case Hardened WW - B/O 28 keys
Survival Case Hardened BS - B/O 27 keys
Survival Stained FT - B/O 21 keys
Survival Boreal Forest MW ST - B/O 19 keys
Survival Forest Ddpat FT - B/O 16 keys
Survival Safari Mesh MW - B/O 16 keys
Survival Boreal Forest BS - B/O 15 keys
Survival Safari Mesh WW - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Doppler FN P1 - B/O 38 keys
Navaja Vanilla - B/O 29 keys
Navaja Case Hardened FT - B/O 25 keys
Navaja Tiger Tooth FN - B/O 25 keys
Navaja Case hardened WW - B/O 21 keys
Navaja Damascus Steel FN - B/O 18 keys
Navaja Night Stripe BS ST - B/O 17 keys
Navaja Blue Steel MW - B/O 17 keys
Navaja Blue Steel BS - B/o 16 keys
Navaja Damascus Steel MW - B/o 16 keys
Navaja Blue Steel FT - B/O 16 keys
Navaja Damascus Steel WW - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Rust Coat BS - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Damascus Steel WW - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Rust Coat WW - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Damascus Steel FT - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Night MW - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Ultraviolet FT - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Stained WW - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Night FT ST - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Scorched MW - B/O 14 keys
Navaja Ultraviolet BS - B/O 14 keys
Navaja Boreal Forest MW - B/O 14 keys
Navaja Urban Masked WW - B/O 14 keys
Navaja Night FT - B/O 14 keys
Navaja Urban Masked FT - B/O 14 keys
Navaja Night BS - B/o 14 keys
Daggers Sapphire FN ST - B/o 110 keys
Daggers Tiger Tooth FN - B/O 26 keys
Daggers Case Hardened WW - B/O 22 keys
Daggers Case Hardened FT - B/O 22 keys
Daggers Crimson Web BS - B/O 18 keys
Daggers Autotronic FT - B/O 18 keys
Daggers Autotronic BS - B/O 17 keys
Daggers Damascus Steel MW - B/O 17 keys
Daggers Blue Steel WW - B/O 16 keys
Daggers Damascus Steel FT - B/O 15 keys
Daggers Urban Masked WW - B/O 15 keys
Daggers Ultraviolet BS - B/O 15 keys
Daggers Scorched WW - B/O 15 keys
Daggers Black Laminate MW - B/O 15 keys
Daggers Bright Water MW - B/O 15 keys
Daggers Boreal Forest MW - B/o 14 keys
Daggers Bright Water FT - B/O 14 keys
Daggers Night FT - B/O 14 keys
Daggers Forest Ddpat FT - B/O 14 keys

Hi all!
I'm currently 2 months in on the "low carb keto" diet, eating 0g-10g of carbs per day and around 600-700 calories.
I know it doesn't seem like a lot of calories but I'm literally still gaining weight. I'm a ~4ft female and I don't think my body ever really "required" a lot of calories because I've always felt healthy and energized. I'm unemployed and stay at home all day so I'm barely using any of the calories I eat. I am not looking to be shamed or psyche evaluated!
I've quit my insane snacking habit and now eat 1-2 meals a day, usually chicken or turkey or cheese or seafood. So boring. I'm bored. I want pizza and spaghetti. Peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Anything.
Last year I was sitting at my goal weight, and then within a month gained 25lbs changing absolutely nothing about my diet or exercise or life in general. Never knew what happened there but it's been genuinely impossible to lose since. I had a tonsillectomy and was on a forced water fast for 10 days- I lost 1.5 total lbs. Wow great.
Being on a low carb diet has helped with shedding water weight but that's about it. Going to the grocery store passing all the foods I love and buying damn turkey slices instead sucks. You can't even eat most vegetables on keto. I don't like being scared of vegetables or missing out on my mom's birthday cake (or feeling like a disgusting failure when I binged on it when I got home).
It's been feeling like a shit ton of effort and money for little reward. I lost about 5lbs the first few days (water weight) and from there it's been up and down, resulting in staying the same weight.
I talk to others like I love keto- and I did love the other health benefits I had initially but they all just came back randomly the other night. I tried to convince myself that it'll get easier when I see results but I'm not seeing results.
I've definitely learned a lot about the human body and food which I'm extremely grateful for- but I just looked up "keto" on this subreddit and saw people saying it's all just a way to be in a calorie deficit. It all ends up being CICO. Great. Now I'm thinking all the research I've done is bullshit and all the expensive ass nasty food I'm buying was for nothing.
I have no intention of going back to my previous hourly carb and candy eating ways, but a little bread sometimes and maybe some ice cream is like a dream to me now. For my "cheat meal" I had a $30 tiny pizza with paper thin cauliflower crust. Disgusting, literally would kill for just 1 slice of a normal pizza.
My final turning point today was when my boyfriend brought home my favorite brand of pizza today, I could smell it in the kitchen, and had to have him hide it from my view. Like damn, I am literally scared of seeing and smelling pizza. (Pizza is one of my favorite foods if you couldn't tell already)
I'm SO conflicted. I don't want to yo-yo diet but now I'm considering just eating the foods I like (while still being conscious of sugar and "bad" carbs), counting calories, and doing intermittent fasting.
I never give a fuck about hunger either. If I'm "hungry" it means I'm bored. I literally have no idea what real hunger feels like anymore, so I just eat in the middle of the day and eat to my calorie goal. I scan all my food in an app, and overeating is never a problem for me anymore so I could maintain the CICO mindset. Despite my cravings, I've only cheated on keto 3 times- all being yearly special events, so I'd say I still have self control even if I'm miserable.
Should I stick with keto for a while longer or ditch it and see what happens? Wtf do I do about my calories and metabolism? How do I see actual results?

I like the 3DS better but I just dont have the money to buy another console, that is why im leaning more on trading it than selling it because there arent much people that would buy it. Is there any stores in ZC that I can trade it for a 3DS?

Parenting involves so much heartbreak. Today, my toddler threw a tantrum in the grocery store because I wouldn't buy him candy. As I calmly explained why, his tears broke my heart. It's tough seeing your child upset, but setting boundaries is crucial. The emotional rollercoaster of parenthood hits hard sometimes. But those sweet moments, like when he hugs me tight after, make it all worth it. Any other parents feel me on this?

Was buying a dozen jugs of milk (only go for loss leaders now) and watched someone struggle with their groceries for what seemed like an eternity at self checkout.
After she dropped multiple items and no one cared to help (it was VERY apparent she needed help), I picked up their now broken sour cream and ziplocks and commented that I would go get another for her, but assumed they likely already sent someone. She thanked me but then dropped a jar of pasta sauce which broke and the manager just stood there.
I assumed he would be there right away as he was only ~10ft away and glass breaking is NOT quiet but he just stood there. I cleaned up as much of the glass as I could as she now looked like she was on the verge of tears, and commented how I used to do this all the time in my teens when I worked at a local grocery store (and hoping to lighten the situation).
I was about to offer to buy her a bag so she could carry her groceries and someone FINALLY came over to clean up the mess (and I assume help this poor woman and get a new jar of pasta sauce and sour cream)
Unfortunately they didn’t even ask if she needed any help carrying her groceries, replacement products, or even a .25 cent bag. Get fucked Galen🖕

There are some kinds of wisdom only great suffering can bring. I remember my time in the Bardo with this in mind, for otherwise, the memory might drive me insane.
The night my heart stopped for nearly three minutes started off normally enough. I was working as a nurse in the psychiatric ward at a hospital in the state’s capital. Most of the patients there were harmless, mostly just suicide attempts or people suffering from drug psychosis or severe depression, but some were actively dangerous and certainly psychopathic in every sense of the word. The new admission was one of these- a three-hundred pound black man with a long history of smoking PCP, schizophrenia and violent, psychotic breaks from reality.
His eyes looked like flat pieces of slate as I walked in for my shift. They looked as blank and emotionless as the eyes of a doll. He sat at the table in the front room where the patients ate or played cards, alone under the bright fluorescent lights of the hospital. I walked to the station, where another psychiatric nurse named Ricardo was sitting behind the desk.
“What’s the deal with the new guy?” I asked him. Ricardo looked up, his dark Spanish face forming into a deep scowl. He ran his fingers through his jet-black hair nervously.
“He’s trouble, man,” he said in a crisp accent. “He got in a chase with the police and then punched some cops in the face. It took three guys to take him down, even after he got maced and tased. The judge sent him here on a temporary court order, since he claims he’s been getting chased by Nazis in UFOs, and that’s why he ran from the cops. He thought the cops in their uniforms were actually the SS, and the helicopters were alien spacecraft, or something. I don’t know, I didn’t listen to the whole story.”
“You have his file?” I asked. Ricardo leafed through a stack of folders with his thin fingers, snatching one out and handing it to me. I looked down, reading the information:
“Jeremiah Brown, black male, 37-years-old.
“History: Polysubstance abuse, schizophrenia, antisocial personality disorder.
“Psychiatrist’s note: This patient has scored a 36 out of 40 on the Hare Psychopathy Checklist. While I am always hesitant to label a patient as an antisocial personality, a combination of factors has made it essential for this patient.
“Patient has an extensive criminal history as well as a lengthy history of involuntary psychiatric admissions. He has been diagnosed as having antisocial traits since he was a young teenager. Patient has a long history of violence and suicide attempts. He has a history of imprisonment for manslaughter, armed robbery, grand theft and aggravated assault. Upon discharge, he refuses to take any antipsychotic medication, citing the side effects as the reason. Long-term prognosis is poor…”
I had not been sleeping well the past few weeks. I rubbed my eyes as I read through the file, feeling exhausted. I tried putting on lucid dreaming or meditation music from YouTube to help me sleep, but whenever I closed my eyes, I saw horrible things: chalk-white female faces whose lips were cut into an insane rictus grin, flicking their heads violently from side to side and gnashing their fangs at the air. I had a feeling that many years of constantly watching horror movies and serial killer documentaries was catching up with me.
As I read through the file, a student nurse came around the corner wearing a white state university outfit and a name tag that said Kaitlyn. I looked up, seeing Ricardo wink at me from where he was sitting in his chair behind the main desk.
“She’s going to follow you,” he said. Inwardly, I groaned, but I managed to force a smile.
“Oh, great!” I said. She looked like she was probably no older than nineteen or twenty. She had a pretty body, but her face looked strange. All the angles were too sharp and her nose too large. I knew the patients here wouldn’t care, though. They would hit on anything. I sensed trouble. I looked down at my watch.
“Well, I’m Jay, and you already know Ricardo, I guess. It’s good timing, because we need to give medications every day at 9 PM. And we have a new patient, so we can introduce ourselves,” I said, giving her a faint smile.
“That’s exciting!” Kaitlyn whispered. I wanted to roll my eyes. It was definitely not exciting.
I motioned her to follow me as I made my way to the medication room, which was really just a large closet off of the main day room. I had to enter my code on a keypad, and then, once inside, enter it again along with the patient’s number and date of birth. The correct drawers for the medication in each specific dose would fly open, making it extremely hard for the wrong medications or doses to be given, unless it was done intentionally.
“OK, so for this patient, we need Haldol, Ativan and…” I began saying to Kaitlyn when the yelling started. It came out faintly, rising in volume and anger within seconds. I heard Ricardo’s Spanish voice, filled with panic. Something slammed hard against a wall, once, twice, three times, and then I heard the sound of glass breaking. I jumped, spinning around, but I couldn’t see much through the small, shatter-proof glass pane on the wooden door.
“Stay here,” I commanded, seeing Kaitlyn’s eyes widen, her freckled skin looking much paler than when we had first come in. “Don’t leave until I come back and say that it’s safe.” On the speakers strung throughout the hospital, I heard the first of the warnings echo out around us.
“Doctor Strong, Doctor Strong, please report to the seventh floor,” a robotic female voice said calmly, using the code for when a patient had to be subdued by force. I pushed the door open, slamming it shut behind me so that the lock would activate and protect Kaitlyn from whatever chaos was going on.
I heard Ricardo pleading with someone at the end of the hallway that ran past the main desk. He sounded strange, as if he were trying to talk through a mouthful of blood. Huddled behind the main computer, I saw one of the CNAs frantically whispering something in the phone. She must have been the one to call the Dr. Strong order.
“You don’t have to do this, man,” Ricardo gurgled faintly. I couldn’t see what was happening, as Jeremiah’s large body was blocking my view. I could see that the thick glass window at the end of the hallway was broken, however. My heart skipped a beat as I surmised what was likely happening.
I sprinted forward as quietly as I could, but the large man heard me. His massive body turned, his flat, dead eyes scanning me with absolute coldness and calm. I saw he had a bleeding Ricardo in his hands. Ricardo’s back and head were covered in deep cuts and shards of glass. He must have used Ricardo’s body as a battering ram to break the thick glass window. Jeremiah held Ricardo suspended halfway out the window, seven floors above the concrete walkways far below.
“Stay back, or this fucker will know what it feels like to fly,” Jeremiah said in a deep, gravelly voice. He shook Ricardo for emphasis, sending his head snapping back and forth with painful cracking sounds. Drops of blood flew from his nose and a deep gash across his cheek. Pieces of shattered glass littered the carpet, shining like countless tiny stars.
I put my hands up, taking a step back. Far behind me, I heard the front door for the psychiatric ward open. Voices echoed down the hall. Knowing that reinforcements were coming, I tried to buy some time.
“Let’s talk about this,” I said, taking a step forward slowly. “You don’t want a murder charge, do you? You’ll never see the sky again.”
“I don’t give a fuck! I’m not afraid to die!” Jeremiah screamed, pushing Ricardo onto one of the shards of broken glass still attached to the windowsill. It bit deeply into the back of his neck, sending fresh streams of blood rushing out, dripping down to the pavement far below. I heard security guards and doctors running down the hallway behind me, their voices frantic and excited. Jeremiah saw them coming. With an animalistic panic in his eyes, he lifted Ricardo up. I cried out something, stepping forward, but it was already too late. In horror, I watched as he threw Ricardo out the window.
I watched Ricardo’s body soar in a graceful arc, his arms grabbing at empty air as a scream ripped its way out of his throat. Within a fraction of a second, he had disappeared from view, but his terrified shrieking floated up to us for what seemed like a very long time. His screams ended abruptly as a shattering of bones and a wet smacking sound exploded far below us.
Jeremiah turned to me, his large body moving much faster than seemed possible. In his hand, I saw a piece of broken glass, five or six inches long and as sharp as a dagger. I tried to turn and run, but he was fast and strong. He lunged forward, his arm coming up in a blur towards my neck.
The shard entered my skin with a cold, numbing pain. I felt it slice through the flesh easily, felt the blood bubbling up my throat as I tried to scream, choking. The taste of iron filled my mouth as I fell backwards. I was suffocating, I knew. I must be dying.
Something cold ran down my body, gripping my heart like freezing, skeletal hands. The world swam around me and turned black. And then I was rising into a tunnel. At first, it was dark, filled with flickering shadows, but a fiery red light appeared at the end. I followed it, no more than a screaming mass of consciousness rising up into infinity.
***
I rose up through the end of the tunnel and found myself in an empty hospital ward. It looked identical to the psychiatric ward I had just come from. It even had the same smashed, blood-streaked window at the end of the hallway. A massive puddle of blood about ten feet away marked the spot where I must have died. But the fluorescent lights overhead here were flickering, and many had gone totally dark. The shadows seemed to press in on all sides.
The doors to the patients’ rooms were all tightly shut. I felt watched, afraid to call out or make any noise. I started walking down the hallway back towards the day room where the front desk was. All the lights there were out. A thick curtain of shadows hung in the air.
“You can come out,” a male voice as smooth as glass called from the darkness. I jumped, my head flicking in random directions, but I saw nothing. The voice almost sounded like it had an English lilt to it, a slight Cockneyed accent. “I know you’re there.”
“Who’s there?” I called out, not stepping forward. “Show yourself.”
“As you wish…” the voice hissed. “But I think you’ll regret it.”
***
The darkness split apart as if a nuclear missile had exploded. I raised my hand to shield my face, but the light and heat kept pouring out all around me. It blinded me, causing a rainbow of colors and shapes to morph behind my closed eyelids. After a few seconds, it subsided. Blinking rapidly, I squinted in the direction the voice had come from.
A male figure stood there, bathed in a silhouette of light. His face looked as white and as smooth as marble. His eyes were pits of darkness that seemed to flicker and burn. Two black, rotted wings surrounded his body, all sharp angles and thin, curving bones. His body was clothed in silky, blood-red robes, and a hood covered his platinum blonde hair.
He looked somewhat similar to Leonardo DiCaprio, if he was possessed by some ancient god, and it immediately threw me off-guard. If I was dying, and this was a hallucination of my brain, why would I be hallucinating Mr. DiCaprio?
“Who are you?” I asked, taking a hesitant step back. “Where am I?”
“My name is Lucifer, the Bringer of Light and Wisdom, and you are in the Bardo,” he answered.
“Oh,” I said, my heart dropping. “Well, that’s not good. Are you here to torture me or drag to me to Hell or something? You are that Lucifer, right? The Accuser of God and the Father of All Lies?”
“So they say, but, like most things in your world, the words of the powerful and your rulers are the true lies. They call me the Accuser, but of what am I accused?” he spoke in a voice that rose like smoke. “Of bringing knowledge and wisdom to humanity by telling them to eat from the tree of knowledge, the tree that would cause them to rise above the animals?
“Indeed, at the beginning, I saw the creation. I was there at the alpha, standing by the side of God with all the angels as the universe came into being. The endless procession of light, the power of it, was something remarkable to behold. God is, indeed, the source of great power, but his consciousness is not what the believers say.
“After the creation of the universe, I saw his plan, how he ripped eternal souls from the source to imprison them. I saw how he took these divine sparks and forced them, screaming and wailing, into bodies made of meat to die over and over again. He said it was part of the plan, the great, divine plan, a plan of death and destruction, constant suffering and mindless agony. And the worst part was, he wanted to give humanity neither the knowledge of good and evil, nor the tree of life. I convinced them to eat the fruit so they could open their eyes to their nakedness, to their basic animal existence, so they could rise up out of it forever.
“Like Prometheus, I brought down the fire, and yet they call me the Accuser? God was insane long before he formed the universe. These holy men, they live and die in fanatical adoration to a divine being who is, in fact, totally indifferent to them.
“His consciousness twists and distorts, eating itself for all eternity. God feeds off the pain of others, for if his mind is burning, then all others should burn as well. When these holy men die, God will send their souls here to the Bardo, to suffer every evil they have ever done. The wisdom I brought those who called upon me freed them from this prison, and in exchange, the holy men burned them alive. I offered the wisdom that opens your eyes, but it has been forgotten and cursed.”
Lucifer’s body began to dissolve, drifting up into the air like ashes. All around me, a low, powerful current blew, a tornado that spiraled high up into the clouds. Like some sort of Cheshire Cat, his smooth voice continued to echo all around me, even as the form of Lucifer disappeared.
“And yet, you have not the wisdom. For that, like all the others who enter the Bardo, you must suffer, everything you’ve done. Every small hurt and agony inflicted on others comes back a thousand-fold in this place, but don’t be afraid.”
“How could I not be afraid?!” I screamed into the ward, but I found myself alone, the question hanging unanswered in the air.
***
The lights continued to flicker all down the hallway. Feeling strange and dissociated, I stumbled over to one of the windows. As I gazed out, I beheld a strange and alien world.
The sky was flat and gray. It stayed in constant motion, swirling and spiraling, like clouds of roiling smoke. There was no Sun or Moon, no stars, only the strange, shifting whorls of clouds. The streets were filled with burned-out husks of cars and mummified bodies hung from streetlamps. Other signs of carnage and bloodshed covered the apocalyptic streets. I saw what looked like shadows in the shape of people slinking through over the sidewalks, past rotting dogs and streaks of clotted blood. They had no features on their blank, dark bodies. They seemed to skitter and jerk forwards in eerie, twisting motions.
Horrified, I turned away, realizing I was no longer alone in the day room. In the day room, there were dozens of tables set up inside a rectangular perimeter that was walled in by cosmetic walls only four feet high. It was where the patients sat and played games or ate.
Under the flickering lights, I now saw each of the chairs filled with faceless mannequins. Many were dressed in Victorian suits and tophats. The women had frilly dresses of pink and blue that might have been fashionable in the 1800s.
As the lights strobed on and off overhead, I realized with an increasing sense of disquiet that the mannequins were moving each time it went dark. When I had first seen them, they were mostly posed to look like they were staring across the tables at each other, even though they had no eyes, just smooth, flesh-colored plastic. Now all of them were looking directly at me. Some were pointing or raising their hands in my direction. At the tips of their fingers, I saw the glittering of steel. The lights continued to flicker, and the mannequins rose from their chairs in the short periods of darkness, moving towards me in synchronized, strobing motions.
Frantically, I ran down the hallway back towards the broken window. In each of the rooms, I caught glimpses of something from a nightmare peeking out. I hadn’t been sleeping well lately, and when I had closed my eyes, I often saw ancient hags with chalk-white skin and yellowed, broken teeth whose jaws unhinged, their faces jerking in stuttering, dissonant ways that reminded me of the mannequins. Now, on both sides of me, I saw these same figures. They moved continuously out of the rooms, drawing closer with every breath.
I looked back, seeing the mannequins only a few steps behind me. I continued sprinting towards the broken window where the hallway ended in a wall. I didn’t know what would happen when I reached it. At that moment, there was no rational thought. I felt like a deer being chased down by a pack of wolves, feeling waves of blind panic and mortal terror rushing through my body.
But as I reached the end of the hallway, the end of my rope as it were, a blast of noise started, seeming to come from the walls of the building and the sky itself. It sounded like a siren, a low, drawn-out drone of a demonic whale call, rising and falling in crashing crescendos. The mannequins froze in place once again. The strange, witch-like creatures slunk back into the dark rooms.
I looked outside the broken window, seeing clouds of black smoke rising off in the distance. The flickering of massive infernos scorched the land, drawing nearer by the second. The siren sound faded slowly, like the dying echoes of a gong.
I was surrounded by dozens of mannequins. Their sharp hands were inches away from my face and neck. I saw metal glittering all around me and realized they had the sharp points of nails protruding from the ends of their fingers. I was afraid to move, but I heard a familiar voice from down the hallway. It was the confident voice of Lucifer.
“The siren means much worse nightmares than these are coming in the Bardo,” he said, his glossy, black eyes flashing with intelligence. He walked slowly towards me, his face grim and pale. “Hell itself is coming over the land. This building is no more than a construction of your dying mind, but the world outside is real.”
“How can Hell come and go?” I asked, confused. “Isn’t Hell a place?”
“Hell is a monster, a beast with many mouths and many eyes,” Lucifer responded. “It eats constantly, but its hunger never ends. Look, the first of the sacrifices scatter like cockroaches.” He pointed out the broken window, pushing his way through the mannequins effortlessly. I glanced outside, seeing thousands of people sprinting down the dark city streets. The inferno and thick clouds of smoke had moved much closer, and every few seconds, the ground shook slightly, as if we were experiencing the aftershocks of an earthquake.
“What can I do against such a beast?” I asked, my heart freezing with terror. But when I looked back over, I saw his form dissolving again, becoming translucent and drifting away like ashes. It seemed even Lucifer didn’t want to be present when the Hell-beast arrived.
“Seek divine wisdom,” he said, his voice trailing off into whispers. “Remember the source.”
***
Now crowds of tens of thousands of people were streaming into the city, filling every single inch of the streets. Their panic and fear was contagious. I felt it rising inside my body like a snake spiraling up my spine. I took off down the hallway, running through the swarm of frozen mannequins, each in their own ferocious position of attack. The lights flickered faster and went out. Yet the fires outside cast the entire world in a bloody glow, giving me enough light to see by and find my way. I sprinted down the stairwell, taking them two steps at a time. The screaming outside grew louder and more pain-filled. The shaking of the ground worsened with every passing second.
I burst out of the front entrance, seeing a world on fire all around me. Thousands of crushed, bleeding and burned bodies stretched out as far as the eye could see. Behind all this chaos and death, I saw a monster of unimaginable proportions slinking its way towards me.
Lucifer was right, I realized: Hell was not a place, but a creature, an enormous monster the size of a town. It had thousands of skittering, jointed legs that looked like little more than skeletal arms and hands, each of them dozens of feet long and white as freshly-cut marble. Its body stretched out to the horizon, an enormous blood-red cylinder of bony plates that slithered and undulated with a serpentine grace. Waves of peristalsis traveled down its length, like writhing intestines. Thousands of curving, bony spikes stabbed out of it, pointing in every direction. Like the quills of a porcupine, it would protect the massive creature’s body from many forms of attack, if anything was big enough to attack such an abomination.
Hell’s massive eyes flickered, balls of fire that spun and danced. They looked as bright as the Sun. Something like solar flares seemed to emanate from the orbs, flashes of blinding energy that floated over the apocalyptic wasteland. As its many legs smashed the ground, they left trails of fire that caused everything to explode into flames as if napalm dripped from its limbs.
But Hell’s most terrifying feature was its seven dark mouths. Its body looked a thousand feet wide, and the mouths at the front were evenly dispersed. At the front, blood-red teeth in the shape of enormous railroad spikes shone. Its lipless, skeletal face grinned as it moved forward, shaking the ground with every step. The mouths were on long, snake-like necks that could stretch out hundreds of feet. They moved forward in a blur, snapping up as many panicked souls as they could.
Countless souls in the rocky plains of the Bardo ran for their lives, away from this juggernaut. I saw men and women who looked like they came from every country and profession, some dressed in suits or spotless white lab coats, others wearing rags or orange prison jumpsuits. And yet, they all screamed in agony and fear here, their bodies pressed together in a crowd, and no one seemed to remember anything but their own mortal terror. Their voices came out faint and weak next to the roaring of Hell. It shook the ground all around us, as if an earthquake were tearing the land apart.
The first frantic runners of the surging crowd had nearly reached me. The nearest person, a young woman in her mid-twenties dressed in all white, was only ten feet behind me. She looked like she came from wealth, and even from here, I could see a ring with a massive diamond gleaming on her finger.
I took off blindly down the familiar streets of the city where I worked and lived, but these also seemed different. The church down the street from the hospital where I worked had a Satanic pentagram instead of a cross now, its exterior painted a bright, gleaming blood-red. When I had driven past it today on my way to work, I remember it read, “JESUS said, ‘I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.’”
Now it read, “Nietzsche said, ‘Of all evil, I deem you capable. I have often laughed at the weaklings who thought themselves good simply because they had no claws.’” I wondered what that meant. Was that some sort of comment on me, on all of us here?
The woman I had seen running had caught up with me. She was fast, much faster than her slim body suggested. Her blue eyes were frantic and wild, filled with an animal panic.
“It’s right behind us!” she screamed, her face covered in a sheen of sweat. I was afraid to turn and look, but I could hear the chaos and bloodshed approaching, smell the flames and choking smoke. “Run! Get away!”
A new wave of energy surged through my body. I sprinted as fast I could down the strange mirror streets of the Bardo. I heard the agonized cries of countless souls behind us as the seven mouths of Hell ate them all greedily and then looked for more.
A skyscraper behind us collapsed into a pile of rubble, shaking the ground with a cacophony of falling concrete and shattering glass. The woman was running by my side. Just as I heard the breathing of something huge and predatory right behind us and smelled its sulfuric breath, a piece of concrete the size of a basketball broke off the collapsing skyscraper and flew into the road. I tripped over it, yelling as I flew through the air, skinning my arms and legs on the pavement. The woman’s eyes widened. Hurriedly, she came over and reached down her hand, trying to help me up.
“Come on, come on!” she cried. I looked behind her, seeing one of the gnashing mouths of Hell reaching forward on a blood-red, serpentine neck. The mouth was big enough to drive a tractor trailer into, filled with huge spikes of teeth. Its throat led into a black, smoke-filled abyss. Its fiery eyes were swirling pools of flickering orange light that shone with bloodlust and insanity. They focused on the woman, the entire head turning on its slithering neck.
I frantically raised my hand, intertwining my fingers with hers. Her hand was warm and soft. She started to pull me to my feet when the mouth of Hell snapped forward. Its jaw unhinged, scraping the pavement with a sound like grinding metal. The woman barely had time to turn as the mouth covered her and snapped shut with a crack.
She disappeared from view instantly, but I was still holding her hand. In horror, I felt warm rivers of blood explode all over my body as the mouth of Hell severed her arm at the wrist. She screamed, bleeding and crying, as she disappeared into the throat of Hell. Hell’s fiery eyes focused on me, and at that moment, I knew I was next. Its mouth opened wide again, like a bear trap ready to spring on a new victim.
It was dark in Hell’s mouth, but I smelled the thick reek of old blood and fire. I caught glimpses of tortured, mutilated bodies writhing and crawling down its throat. Shell-shocked, I could only lay there and watch. And that was when the strange doubling started.
***
I heard the frantic voices of men break through the fog of darkness and the fetid reek of blood. There was a mechanical beeping all around me, but I couldn’t tell where it was coming from.
“Clear!” one cried. I looked around, only seeing blackness. At that moment, I felt a surge of electricity rip itself through my body. My arms and legs all seized and my eyes rolled up in my head as the pain sizzled through each one of my nerves. I clutched the young woman’s hand tightly, feeling the large, gold ring with the massive diamond biting into my skin.
“Again!” another voice yelled.
“Clear!” the original voice cried. The electricity came again, and a flash of white light flew across my vision. I blinked, seeing from two sets of eyes at the same time: one in the Bardo, and one on the blood-stained floor of the hospital ward.
The Bardo stayed dark and sinister, but the clear white lights of the real psychiatric ward were blinding. It was a bizarre experience. Moreover, everything hurt. Over a few seconds, my vision of the Bardo faded, and I was simply a gravely injured man laying on the floor in a puddle of blood.
Four doctors and paramedics were crouching over me with a defibrillator. My shirt was ripped off, and nearly all of my skin was covered in blood. I raised my left hand, trying to talk, but only a fiery pain raced through my neck. I felt bandages covering my skin. A nurse was rolling a stretcher down the hallway towards me.
“It’s OK,” one of the doctors said, kneeling down. “You’re being taken to emergency surgery. You’ve lost a lot of blood.” I wanted to say something, but I couldn’t talk with the massive slice in my neck.
At that moment, I felt something in my right hand. I looked down, seeing a slim female hand with a massive diamond ring hanging there. Our fingers were wrapped around each other’s, but the hand had been cut off at the wrist. A ragged patch of bloody flesh and snapped bone poked out of the back.
“Nnnn,” I tried to say, shaking my head. I felt fresh streams of warm blood open up. “No…” The doctors looked down, seeing the dismembered hand. Their faces morphed into expressions of confusion and fear.
I closed my eyes as they lifted me up on the stretcher. One of them gently removed the cold hand from my fingers. But they could never remove the memory of what I had seen.
I know what happens after death, and it makes the worst life here seem like a dream. I know that, one day, I’ll be returned to that place. I know that, one day, I’ll see that great monster called Hell and the featureless, swirling sky of the Bardo again.
And the next time, I won’t wake up on a hospital floor, but will be trapped there with the others for eternity: an eternity of blood and fire.