My (23M) mother (58F), after three weeks of traveling through Europe, came down with the flu or something similar. Her only symptom has been extreme fatigue, and she asked for wheelchair service through the airports and asked me to carry all of her luggage. Traveling with her was difficult, as she is the type to become extremely agitated and lash out whenever things get stressful. Even something as simple as walking to a new hotel would get her dialed to 11 and lead to her snapping at you for suggesting an alternative route. When we got home, she continued to say that she was too exhausted to do anything and has asked me to do her normal share of chores, buy everything and bring her things from the kitchen as needed. I have done all of these things dutifully, but when I was out and about, she sent me a text saying “If I die…” and went on to explain how her life insurance policy worked, gave me the number of her manager and told me to call them to collect her things and said me that she would give me important information later that night. Panicking and thinking something major had happened, I called and asked what happened. When she told me that nothing had changed and she still just felt extremely tired, I became very upset with her and told her to not send me texts suggesting that her death was imminent. In response, she said “You have zero empathy” and hung up the phone.
I confronted her when I got home (and delivered her popsicles and tylenol), and said that she had leveled a very serious accusation at me that I did not appreciate, and that in fact, she was inconsiderate to scare me with death talk when nothing had changed and her doctor had even said that all she needed was bed rest and fluids. Initially she said nothing and asked me about something else. I repeated myself and she kept saying “ok”. I told her that ok is not a response and I wanted a proper answer from her, and she said “you shouldn’t start arguments with people when they’re feeling shitty”. When I pressed she paused for a few seconds and said “you shouldn’t be in here, I don’t want you to get sick”. I refused to relent, and she raised her voice at me that she felt like shit and that she had said I had no empathy because of my demeanor. I repeated that saying I have no empathy when I’m doing everything she asked of me and simply asked her to stop with the death talk is completely unfair and excessive. She then started talking as if she was going to cry and went on about how she’s “done so much for me” and “haven’t I shown you that I love you?”. She has done a lot for me, but it’s a false dichotomy to say I can’t be appreciative of that and critical of her behavior.
After going around in circles, I realized that I was never going to get an apology or acknowledgement that she shouldn’t have said that, and that she would continue to use diversion and manipulation tactics. She asked me to get her another popsicle, which I debated but did despite my frustration. After this conversation, the illusion finally disappeared and I realized what she truly was - a loving but unstable individual with deeply unhealthy attachment patterns and an inability to accept criticism, who will not shy away from underhanded tactics to avoid doing so. Which led me to accepting that I am never going to have a healthy, close relationship with her.

I know I just made a post on here a little bit ago but I will say it again: my bfs family just got over what we thought was noro. The last person was sick 11 days ago and as if im not battling enough in my head my mother in law just made my partner breakfast after going to bathroom/throwing away the bathroom trash and didn’t wash her hands (he has a very old fashioned Mexican family that doesn’t wash their hands a lot) and and he ate it obviously. I tried to intervene but she wouldn’t let me. During this whole time of everyone in the house getting sick, him having his own exposures in the house, and him not being as careful as me, neither of us have gotten sick at this point. I truly believe for him it’s because he’s in a line of work where he’s exposed to germs 24/7 but anyways after the breakfast ordeal, I came into the room and just panic and cried. Full blown anxiety attack. She had prepared food for him the week before last (with her same hygiene practices) right after everyone had been more recently sick and he’s been fine. But this tipped me over the edge. I don’t even know what to say. I know this most likely counts as an exposure idk but I am so upset. I just need someone to talk to right now.

hey :) in 2 Corinthians 7:5-7 Paul talks about how he was comforted through his misery by his friend Titus which God had sent to him. The Bible also says it is not good for man to be alone. I've had some intense periods of isolation and now I'm ready to let go of the fear, and I'd love any new friends!
the good

• me and the color green have a serious love affair going
• im such a gamer (literally only play stardew valley on my switch)
• ive got about 3 months left in a marine biology degree
• i live in the UK but im from Texas
• i love filming and editing
• travel and solo trips are a huge escape for me
• i write poetry, make music (somewhat poorly) and really enjoy cooking

the bad

• i might be going through a breakup
• ive distanced myself from my secular friends so very much in need of some new relationships
• i feel like im entering into a new season of my life, so bare with me if my actions are confusing, im still getting to know the person God created

I just joined this company recently. My coworker whos in her 20s who worked here more than a year kind of reviews what I do and give me feedback. (I am in 30/ and have more experience than her. Just not at this company) Sometimes she has to give me back up documents so that I can do my job.
Her manager emailed my pod for some incorrect entries that were posted. I noticed she gave me wrong back up document. I requested nicely to provide updated document. She didnt respond to my email but said its all taken cared of.
I Slacked her asking what do you mean its all taken cared of? She responded she updated everything so no follow up needed.
She never has corrected what I did before until that point. Never. She even tells me to update something my pod did incorrectly. She also deleted the back up document and posted another.
I got very annoyed. I emailed her ccing her manager asking to provide all the work she hasnt done for awhile and requested to follow up.
She sent me Slack saying she should reach out to her privately if I need something. She requested not to talk to her manager before (she doesnt know a lot of things she does and she spends too much time figuring it out I sometimes ask her manager directly) Her manager is not my manager but we are all in the same team constantly communicating with each other. Idk why I have to go through her just because she wants it that way. - Shes very ambitious works hard but cant stand her if her imperfection is noticed by her manager. I dont think he cares at all. Hes super nice boss.
I sent her another Slack asking she should provide correct back up and I wanted her manager to have visibility since he has more knowledge. She was bitching about working late and she had so much work. (Is that my prob?) Never apologized for providing wrong back up.
I didnt respond to her last Slack and moved on doing my work.
I saw her being dishonest before (she deleted something I did and when I asked she said no but updated that later)
I can maintain working professionally but if she keeps deleting something behind my back pretending she didnt make any mistake. I will be soooo pissed.
How should I handle this going forward????

I'm really enjoying this game, but I do think it's weird Cal can only have access to two stances at a time. There isn't any particular in game reasoning for this. Say I have double blade and single blade stance, what's stopping Cal from using the blaster? It's right there on his hip, but he needs to meditate?
If they just gave us a wheel or something in the pause menu to access other stances that would have been really nice.

I need some advice.
I tend to complain a lot. It’s not always on purpose but I will say everything on my mind and it is coming off really bad to others.
For example, If I am doing a chore around the house and experience a minor inconvenience, I’ll curse under my breath or something like that. I’ll also just speak my mind and it often looks like I am complaining about everything.
Also, I have a terrible sound to my voice when I am trying to be neutral. All of my sentences seem to end on a low, negative tone so it sounds like I am pissed off 24/7.
I am trying to fix this because it’s making my husband seem as if I am annoyed at him and complaining in a rude way. It’s hard to sound not annoyed even when I am neutral.
Does anyone know any tips? I need to sound happier.

Am I the asshole for not wanting a relationship with my dad’s side of the family?
Me, 23F, have a pretty good relationship with my parents, but a point of conflict in our family ever since I was a child is my relationship with my dad’s side of the family.
My dad’s side of the family lives on another city so that automatically reduced the contact I had with them in comparison with the contact I had with my mom’s side of the family, most notably my grandma and my uncle.
My dad’s family has never really put into the effort to have a closer relationship. The most I would get from them were usually birthday and Christmas calls when I was a kid. Now, it’s, at best, a Christmas call from my grandmother and a DM from one of my aunts. At the same time, my grandparents often showed they cared more about my cousins than me. They would often be more affectionate towards them and give them rather expensive gifts and even help with paying for their eduction. One of them got a car recently and the other got help in affording their MBA.
I get it, they live closer to my grandparents so it’s understandable they’d be closer to them than to me, but these things weren’t as clear to me when I was about 6/7 I often wondered what I’d done to make them not like me.
My dad always insisted we visited them during summer break or other holidays when I was in school. I never felt like these people cared for me so I hated wasting my off time visiting them instead of spending time with my friends or doing other activities I enjoyed, especially given that I struggled with bullying in school so the summer break was always the time I had to just be left alone. Instead, almost every year I got dragged for a week or two to another city and forced to live under the same roof as my grandparents. They weren’t mean to me, but I often felt completely left out when I was there. My mom would often be the only one who tried to do something I’d enjoy.
Sometimes his family would come to visit and more than once he gave away some of my toys to my younger cousins. He’d hardly ask me in advance if it was okay, instead he’d ask in front of my cousins if they wanted it and if I was okay with giving it to them. I felt pressured to say yes, because I didn’t want to disappoint my dad nor upset my younger cousins.
His goal whenever he was with his family was to prove to them how successful he was. How he’d been the first to have higher education in the family and how he was a businessman when, in reality, my parents were somewhat struggling financially.
Over the years, I began to make my position more clear and tell my dad I didn’t want to visit them nor that I wanted them in our house. He often said I was being selfish and that I needed to put in the effort to be closer to his family. He also said I was close to my mom’s relatives and that it was unfair I didn’t have the same relationship with his family. It became an endless point of contention, including between my parents who’d often get into arguments over the situation. My mom always taking my side as she doesn’t really get along with them as well.
It also didn’t help that my grandmother and aunts seemed to dislike the way my parents were raising me and told my dad I was too spoiled. My dad told my mom about it and she told me about it once she felt I was old enough to know as she “didn’t want to hurt my feelings.”
Recently, things got worse. There was one person I liked in that family and that was my uncle, he too often felt left out by the family so we could relate in some ways. My family was actually pretty horrible to him as he struggled with mental health and they think that’s bs. He died during the COVID pandemic and now the family basically acts as if he’s never existed. I get it may be grief, but the way they never talk about him feels weird to me. He was the only person that made my family more tolerable and now he’s gone so there’s not much left.
More than that, my dad’s family is more on the conservative and religious side and I’m not. They post a bunch of fake news on their stories about the government (to the point one of my aunts often has her posts suspended) and supported a candidate who was openly lgbtphobic and I’m gay so you can imagine that did not land well with me. Still, I never tried to argue with them for the sake of my dad, but I would still post something about politics every now and then. In the end, one of aunts went into my DMs to say how stupid I was for supporting the other candidate. That escalated to a whole argument… my dad was not happy about it and said I should tone down on my posts.
More recently, my dad has begun to visit them on his own as my work schedule makes it harder to take me with him, but he keeps talking about how my grandparents are old and don’t have much time left and how the “whole family” should be there for them.
Still, I can’t bring myself to really care. I genuinely feel nothing for them. I expect nothing from them and I trust they expect nothing from me.
I do feel bad for my dad because it’s his parents and family so I don’t complain about them anymore, but I still don’t want any contact with them.
Am I the asshole?

My boyfriend and I have been planning a roadtrip to Canada for a few months now. We’re set to spend 5 days there and leave this Thursday for the long weekend. I’ve been saving up a bit of money so I decided to book and pay for our hotels in Quebec City and Montreal. I normally try to book hotels with free cancellation when traveling because you just never know- but this time I wanted us to be in a comfortable place that was within walking distance of places we wanted to see or visit so, I caved and booked them. Thursday morning my boyfriend gives me a call around 4am, which is when he normally goes into work (we don’t live together yet btw, but we’ve been together almost 4 years now) he’s in a panic saying that he thinks somebody stole his car! Of course, this woke me up instantly and I was in total disbelief but as he’s talking he goes on to mention that he missed 1 or two monthly payments and maybe they took his car… I thought 1-2 months behind was too little for the bank to repossess your car and he says oh well maybe it was more like 3-4 months behind and he kept stressing and worrying about where he was going to get the money to pay. He was a bit shaken up so I didn’t want to question him about any savings, tried to help him calm down and advised him to just wait, call his lender as soon as they opened & let me know what they said he could do to get his car back. At first Santander demanded that he pay the full 21k loan for his car outright if he wanted it back, then they decided to work with him and asked him to pay $3,500 to get the car back. His monthly payment is something around $600 so that would mean he probably owed somewhere around 4/5 months. Since he didn’t have the money, I gave it to him & I’m not expecting that money back. I’m now worried about the fact that we’ve never actually had a conversation about our finances and we were planning on moving together this year. He always seemed to be doing fine- sometimes he needed a little help to get by and I’d send him $100 to keep him afloat through the week until payday but, this is a bigger problem than what 100 little dollars can fix. I’m starting to wonder where his money is going and I don’t know how to approach that conversation. Especially because he makes more than I do and we both have around the same bills, from what I know. I also now have to reconsider this trip, I’m very excited about it since we’ve been planning for a while now but I’m worried about having to spend all of my savings over there.. Any advice on how I can talk to my boyfriend about all this without making him feel uncomfortable :/ and what should I do about Canada? The hotels are paid for so I’d be losing about $1000 if I don’t go, but can I afford a trip for two with around $2000? I’d have to factor in gas, activities and food, and we love food :( any thoughts/ideas would help greatly! I just don’t know what to do.

Hey everyone,
I am an active duty Marine who is getting out in a few months and have joined Civil Air Patrol to continue on in my military service in some capacity. Are military rifle marksmanship badges authorized for senior members on their dress blues? I know there is an NRA badge, but was curious about this because I could find no regulation on it. Thanks!

Hi guys my modded Fallout 3 is without HUD, it never activates, and when I approach to talk to someone the interaction is black, I tried setting the gamma color from the menu (and it is the standard) and even tried disabling all mods (even Immersive HUD, which should equally show the HUD when you perform certain actions) but it doesn't appear at all!
I also downloaded Pulse ENB by downloading the ReShades and putting them in the game folder (also replacing dxgi and d3d9, now I don't remember the process exactly), I'm afraid the problem might be coming from there although I wouldn't know how that's possible.
This is my list of mods:
00 - Improved Male Vanilla Body - FOMOD Installer
4K Capital Wastescape with 4K Normals
Accurate Stars 4k
AmaccurzerO's Animated Wasteland
Andy's Darker Grass v2
Animated Interior Decorations
Animated Park Equipment v4 big update
Animated Statics - Anim
Animated Utility Poles (Ashens2014) Fallout 3
Animated Wasteland Trees (recommended)
Animation Compilation (First Person)
Animation Compilation (Third Person)
Archivelnvalidation Invalidated - Program Version - Recommended
ATMOS Ambient Sound Overhaul
CivisRomanus Unofficial Fallout 3 Dialogues Fixes - italiano
CivisRomanus Unofficial Fallout 3 Fixes
CivisRomanus Unofficial Fallout 3 Fixes Cheat Items
CivisRomanus Unofficial Fallout 3 Fixes Dialogues
CivisRomanus Unofficial Fallout 3 Fixes italiano
CivisRomanus Unofficial Fallout 3 Fixes Optional
Clean-Deluxe - Dust Away vO-22
Clean-Deluxe - Paper-Shredder
Clean-Deluxe - Rock-Out
Clean-Deluxe GOTY Edition
Command Extender
Desolation Flora
Devastated City
Energy Visuals Plus
Enhanced Blood Textures
Enhanced Camera
EXE - Effects teXtures Enhanced - EXE FULL RES V1
Fallout 3 HD Overhaul
Fallout 3 Realistic Wasteland Lighting plus GOTY
Fallout 3 Rebirth - GOTY Version
Fallout Script Extender (FOSE)
Fallout Street Lights - Traduzione Italiana
Fallout Street Lights Version 2
Flashlight v1-5
F03 Redesigned Standard (No DLC) Edition
Games for Windows LIVE Disable
Gutsy Handy Animated Eyes
Helm Pov 2
HR Armored Vault 101 Jumpsuit_4k
Immersive HUD - iHUD
Iron Sights Plus
Kyu's Ballistics F03
Loot Menu
MGs Neat Clutter
MGs Neat Clutter - Ammo box
More Modest T4 - Main
MTUI
no more dots v01
NV Compatibility Skeleton - NVCS Installer
NVAC - New Vegas Anti Crash
Out Of Memory Fix
PCldles03b
Power Armor Footstep SFX vl-2
PowerArmor Increases Height
RADiant Light Overhaul vl.2
Rustic Grass HQ 4K Version 1
Simple Sprint F03
Size Variable HD Moon Cycle Textures - F03 - NickKens Moon Cycle
Smaller Holotapes
Stewie Tweaks
Street Lights Bug Fix
The D.C. Interiors Project - DCinteriors_combo Edition Total Merge
TYPE4 - Body and Armors - T4 - Main
TYPE4 F03 - Body and Armors - T4 - Main
UIO - User Interface Organizer
Updated Unofficial Fallout 3 Patch - OGG
Vandr HD Creatures
Wastelander Backpacks
Weapon Enhancement Pack
Wider Street Lights
zzjay's body and face textures workshop - Type 3 - 4 and 6 - 00 - Default Version - CORE

Hi guys my modded Fallout 3 is without HUD, it never activates, and when I approach to talk to someone the interaction is black, I tried setting the gamma color from the menu (and it is the standard) and even tried disabling all mods (even Immersive HUD, which should equally show the HUD when you perform certain actions) but it doesn't appear at all!
I also downloaded Pulse ENB by downloading the ReShades and putting them in the game folder (also replacing dxgi and d3d9, now I don't remember the process exactly), I'm afraid the problem might be coming from there although I wouldn't know how that's possible.
This is my list of mods:
00 - Improved Male Vanilla Body - FOMOD Installer
4K Capital Wastescape with 4K Normals
Accurate Stars 4k
AmaccurzerO's Animated Wasteland
Andy's Darker Grass v2
Animated Interior Decorations
Animated Park Equipment v4 big update
Animated Statics - Anim
Animated Utility Poles (Ashens2014) Fallout 3
Animated Wasteland Trees (recommended)
Animation Compilation (First Person)
Animation Compilation (Third Person)
Archivelnvalidation Invalidated - Program Version - Recommended
ATMOS Ambient Sound Overhaul
CivisRomanus Unofficial Fallout 3 Dialogues Fixes - italiano
CivisRomanus Unofficial Fallout 3 Fixes
CivisRomanus Unofficial Fallout 3 Fixes Cheat Items
CivisRomanus Unofficial Fallout 3 Fixes Dialogues
CivisRomanus Unofficial Fallout 3 Fixes italiano
CivisRomanus Unofficial Fallout 3 Fixes Optional
Clean-Deluxe - Dust Away vO-22
Clean-Deluxe - Paper-Shredder
Clean-Deluxe - Rock-Out
Clean-Deluxe GOTY Edition
Command Extender
Desolation Flora
Devastated City
Energy Visuals Plus
Enhanced Blood Textures
Enhanced Camera
EXE - Effects teXtures Enhanced - EXE FULL RES V1
Fallout 3 HD Overhaul
Fallout 3 Realistic Wasteland Lighting plus GOTY
Fallout 3 Rebirth - GOTY Version
Fallout Script Extender (FOSE)
Fallout Street Lights - Traduzione Italiana
Fallout Street Lights Version 2
Flashlight v1-5
F03 Redesigned Standard (No DLC) Edition
Games for Windows LIVE Disable
Gutsy Handy Animated Eyes
Helm Pov 2
HR Armored Vault 101 Jumpsuit_4k
Immersive HUD - iHUD
Iron Sights Plus
Kyu's Ballistics F03
Loot Menu
MGs Neat Clutter
MGs Neat Clutter - Ammo box
More Modest T4 - Main
MTUI
no more dots v01
NV Compatibility Skeleton - NVCS Installer
NVAC - New Vegas Anti Crash
Out Of Memory Fix
PCldles03b
Power Armor Footstep SFX vl-2
PowerArmor Increases Height
RADiant Light Overhaul vl.2
Rustic Grass HQ 4K Version 1
Simple Sprint F03
Size Variable HD Moon Cycle Textures - F03 - NickKens Moon Cycle
Smaller Holotapes
Stewie Tweaks
Street Lights Bug Fix
The D.C. Interiors Project - DCinteriors_combo Edition Total Merge
TYPE4 - Body and Armors - T4 - Main
TYPE4 F03 - Body and Armors - T4 - Main
UIO - User Interface Organizer
Updated Unofficial Fallout 3 Patch - OGG
Vandr HD Creatures
Wastelander Backpacks
Weapon Enhancement Pack
Wider Street Lights
zzjay's body and face textures workshop - Type 3 - 4 and 6 - 00 - Default Version - CORE

Background: presently my mother (f 60s) lives with me (male 30s) in my house that she helped me purchase (she gifted the down payment and contributes towards major purchases) about 3+ years ago. The reason my mom lives with me is because she presently can't afford to live on her own and has gone through some severe health issues from which she's recovered from but will have some permanent side effects from that make living on her own hard as well. She has also gone through severe trauma in her past.
Lately her and I have been at odds as I've been dating. I'm currently in a great relationship with a very understanding girlfriend about my situation with my mom. Specifically, that we could make the living arrangement work long term where my mom could live with us due to her health issues.
However, situations have arisen where my mom will not like or feel comfortable with certain things or times I want to do in my relationship and sometimes this creates A conflict. Things can wind being at odds when my mom will try tocontrol me and say things like this:
"Your girlfriend needs to come over later, we need to do things around the house"
"This is Mother's Day weekend. Don't talk to your girlfriend on the phone. If you do, I won't go out on Mothers day"
"We agreed for you not to go to her church regularly. You're not a man of your word"
These are paraphrased too. For reference, I typically don't see my girlfriend Thursday, Fridays or saturdays to devote time to the house and taking care of my mom (my sister works night these days so she could help outside of these nights). Although if there's certain events I do wind up doing them. My girlfriend has been very very understanding here.
The issues wind up being if there's something I want to do that's she's not comfortable with or if she's feels I'm not being responsible to the house (taking care of the yard, dogs watching, cleaning , her medical needs, etc.), she will throw tantrums or say things like above.
Has anyone dealt with this before? My inclination is to do things based on how I feel things are getting done with the house while prioritizing my relationship. I do tend to feel guilty because of all of things that have happened to her but it feels like her wants are too much.

Kevin Kelly is a forward thinker, speaker and author. He founded Wired magazine and writes with great insight. Six years ago he turned 68. For each year of his life, he gifted a piece of advice to his children; things he wished he had known at their age. Each year since, on his birthday, he has added to that initial list. Below are ten pieces of advice from Kevin’s 74th birthday update, relating to happiness, habits and progress.

Happiness

1.Where you live (what city, what country) has more impact on your well-being than any other factor. Where you live is one of the few things in your life you can choose and change. In my biased option, Bath is a beautiful city. It’s been my home for the last 30 years and brings me great joy.

1. The highest form of wealth is deciding you have enough. My instinct is to believe that if I had more money, I’d be happier. However, those richer and wiser than me have persuaded me otherwise.
   
2. You’ll never meet a very successful pessimistic person. If you want to be remarkable, get better at being optimistic. I can choose how I interpret the world. I chose to be optimistic with a dose of realism.
   
3. Asking “what-if?” about your past is a waste of time; asking “what-if?” about your future is tremendously productive. I can’t change the past, but I can influence the future.
   

Habits

1. What is important is seldom urgent and what is urgent is seldom important. To get the important stuff done, avoid the demands of the urgent. I try to ensure that activities with longer term benefits are addressed.
   
2. If you are out of ideas, go for a walk. A good walk empties the mind and then refills it with new stuff. My daily walk gives me space to think and reflect. A life changer for me.
   
3. You have 5 minutes to act on a new idea before it disappears from your mind. If I have an idea, I note it down in my mobile notes app.
   

Progress

1. The best way to criticise something is to make something better. I love building things and seeing others use them.
   
2. The more persistent you are, the more chances you get to be lucky. I find the concept of increasing one’s luck surface area to be an enpowering idea. I try to position myself to take advantage of lucky breaks.
   
3. Decisions like to present themselves as irreversible, like a one-way door. But most deciding points are two-way. Don’t get bogged down by decisions. You can usually back up if needed. Few things in life are permanent. While hard to comprehend, this reality is liberating.
   

Other resources

Kevin Kelly Advice for Geeks (and others) post by Phil Martin
How 3 Books Rewired my Brain post by Phil Martin
I agree with Kevin Kelly when he suggests, Your behaviour, not your opinions, will change the world.
Have fun.
Phil…

that have most amount of bosses are already completed ex:70- bosses as soon as you join the server.
why you would say? from a pvp player perspective its a pvp server, going thro 80+ bosses to kill every wipe every week and grind again is counter to whats called"pvp"
whats the goal? the goal of wipes is to reset the loot, bases, territories, shards but ease the 80+ boss progression, just make bosses below 70 lvl already completed.
let people fight for territories, shards, loot and farm legendaries again it will still keep the game fresh even if it wipes every 2-3days, people will comeback as long as there is no big progression wall after a wipe.
yes i know there are arena servers but many of us prefer open world server.
i am just burned already doing the same thing grinding for 1-2 days hoping to pvp then as soon as i reach endgame server is dead, and when it wipes the numbers still go down than the previous wipe, don't tell me its pve part what keeps people active its not.

First of all, I’d like to preface this story with a piece I wrote in my journal 2 months ago while still in my relationship.
Here it is:
I’m almost 30M, and wonder how you would deal with this situation?
Backstory: I didn’t have my first girlfriend or even sex until age 20. I was very sheltered when I was younger and shy. I also moved several times so never got the chance to meet girls from social circles. I had almost a 2 year long distance relationship from age 20-22 (seeing each other in person only a few times a year). Well that didn’t work out and it devastated me. I did truly love that girl and she was also my first so it took 3 years to get over.
In that time following the relationship, I slept with more than 10 people, gained experience, and eventually found another girlfriend in person at age 25. That ended at age 26, but was off and on until age 27. It ended for good reason, because it was a tumultuous relationship with a lot of fun, but also arguments. She was super attractive which made it hard to let her go even though I knew it had to be done.
Following that relationship, I yet again worked on myself, dated and slept around, and eventually met my current girlfriend midway through age 28. It was one of those situations where you start out just hanging out and eventually see each other every week… then the question of “what are we happens”… I went along with it even though my eyes were still peeled.
Well now, I’m almost 30, a few months away and I’m scared. A part of me feels like I missed a part of my youth and I’ll never find that stunner I’ve always looked for. Being sheltered all my life and not meeting anyone via social circle messes with me emotionally. I’ve dated beautiful woman, but it’s not like I can change time and go back to 25 again and date around 20 year olds… right?
I also moved to a completely different state and started a new life 2 years ago. But every day I think about my last relationship and the life I used to live in that state. “The good old days” I like to say. I have a new life now and good situation, but a part of me feels lost.
That’s what I wrote back in March. I knew I had a good situation, a very stable relationship and job, but I almost felt like I was still unfulfilled. Mostly because I never really experienced the kind of girls that truly interest me I guess? I hate to sound superficial, but if you read below it will make further sense. It wasn’t all about looks. While she was nice and sweet, she was rather boring and didn’t banter with me.
So fast forward the story to today, my recent ex broke up with me a few weeks ago. We had been dating about a year and a half.
I met her about a year and a half after that toxic relationship to a really manipulative, yet attractive girl I talked about above. This new relationship was the complete opposite, almost to the point of being cringey. She was really loving but it was almost overwhelming. She also was not as atractive as my last gf in terms of looks. Not unattractive by any means, but I certainly didn’t feel super proud walking around with her or introducing her to people. For much of the early part of meeting this new girl, I did still constantly think of the toxic ex and compare, but I was ready for something new and thought I was so far removed from the last relationship - I went along with it.
Anyway, Eventually she asked if I would be her bf at about the 3 month point after meeting. At first I was apprehensive of the idea because I wasn’t sure about committing and if I wanted to keep “searching.” I got to the point that I was done with hunting as I had tried tirelessly to find someone for over a year. She was a great girl but I wasn’t sold on a full on relationship. Instead of being excited to be official like I was in past relationships, with her I was hoping for more a fwb situation like it was the first 3 months. But I decided to go along with it. I told her I still wanted to be able to approach or work on social skills with other girls even if just plutonicly. I didn’t do that and did commit. Fast forward another several months and the I love you statement came up. I wasn’t entirely sure about how I felt but I again went along with it, even though I didn’t actually feel it at at the time.
This gf was a very loving, loyal, committed gf, and did anything for me. Unfortunately I didn’t really find her incredibly magnetizing. She was cute, but not crazy attractive in my eye. Like I mentioned above, I didn’t feel that proud feeling when going out.
I found that taking pictures with her also made me unsure. The first couple weeks of hanging out we never took pics. And then I took a picture with her and looked at it and was repulsed. When she would send me pictures of her with with her family, I didn’t like what she sent. Maybe she’s just not photogenic and actually good in person, but whenever she would send me a photo or FaceTime me I’d get turned off.
Also, the fact that she was so wholesome, it didn’t allow for much banter. Conversations were mostly plutonic, where I’m more of the sarcastic type.
She always wanted to pull out the calendar and schedule plans months in advance every week, even after telling her I prefered being spontaneous. She did all of these crazy google calendar overlays and I felt like I was always being sucked into things I didn’t want to do. She became more clingy than I had realized when I first met her. She asked me about 3 months ago, if we could spend not just weekends together, but also Wednesday nights. (We lived just over an hour apart). I suggested it could be every other week (the opposite)…I didn’t like going to her place because of the road noise where she lived and I would really only see her when she would visit me. I know, all of this sounds really one sided and like I’m an asshole. But I was very loving to her in person and she knows that, hence why it lasted so long.
Unfortunately a lot of things she did turned me off. She was too readily available, always trying to lock up my calendar, talk about marriage and kids in the next 3-5 years and I felt trapped. I was unsure.
We had great sex but it wasn’t crazy passionate, neither was our kissing. When alone, and was feeling aroused, I generally didn’t think of my ex. I constantly found myself checking out other girls places I went (but never talked to them). I felt like wow I wish that was the kind of girl I was with.
It wasn’t all bad though. The sex was phenomenal in terms of the movements. She made $100k plus which is phenomenal for someone at 24, but also had over $100k in student loans. With her wanting to get married within 5 years, I considered those loans as a big issue. She was super loving and would have been a great mother.
In the end she left me. She said we weren’t compatible. I have been a wreck and now I’m wishing I had her. Maybe not for the right reasons though?
I’m trying to figure out why if I wanted to end things myself and that I felt trapped for so long, how come all of a sudden I want her back? Is it just the void of not having someone loyal who’s there for me? The loss of a potential good wife and mother? Who can make plans and bake me things? The fear of not meeting someone as smart? She’s already talking to other guys and I’m just a wreck and need some advice. I can’t go an hour without thinking of her. I think I need to rewire the way I am thinking. I can’t stop thinking that maybe I made a mistake and should have put in more effort, but I feel like if I truly loved/had that spark for her I would have tried more all along. I would have been excited to make plans with her instead of going a week at a time seeing her. Now all I want to do is see her. Should I have stayed in it and worked harder? Are my standards too high? I feel like my first ex and my recent one were so polar opposite. One had the looks and I thought of her when thinking of sex but was toxic and the other was sweet but not as attractive. It even got to the point that to feel emotion, I had to finish inside her. Which did help.
At the time of the breakup, I tried very hard to tell her how I was looking forward to making a fun summer filled with plans together. Just 2 weeks prior she was about it. Now nothing. It’s been total silence on the other end for weeks. I know she loved me more than any guy.
Do you think this was a good thing this happened? How do I rewrire my brain? She was my only friend. This was a relationship that I went into going through the motions, and even a couple weeks before we broke up I wrote that journal entry / question that I shared above. What is going on?

We are on the phase where we fight almost everyday. We got too comfy with each other and unconsciously become mean with one another. For example, my joke is offensive for him, but for me it’s just a plain joke and vice versa. This often leads to arguments. Our arguments are always abt being disrespectful (yelling at me, being mean). We always try to find ways to fix it and we’re both willing to work for it but we still unconsciously say mean things.
Now, he suggested that we should take a 2 week break (No contact) but it is not a break up. Our photos are still posted and all. He wants time to be alone since he is also dealing with his own problem. The thing is he won’t exactly be alone bcs he often hangs out with his friends. I feel like he doesn’t really wants to be alone but wants to stay away from me.
Do you guys think this is really the only option? I’m thinking that this may bring us to being contented alone and without each other. Will this really help us fix ourselves and our relationship? Please, I want to understand him.
TL;DR: We are in the we-fight-almost-everyday phase of a relationship (7 months in) bcs of unconsciously being mean of e/o. BF suggests we take a break but not break up. Is it really needed or we can fix this together without the break?

I’m a 17 yr old female who is ok at art and or creating things so I get asked from family and others to do stuff art related for them a lot. I usually don’t mind and do it for them sometimes for money and sometimes for free so they’re pretty comfortable asking me for art favors.
(Since I don’t want to ramble too much I’ll get to the point) My sister K (30) asked me to do my nieces J (8) artwork for her school contest so she could win. I told her no because I don’t feel comfortable being used to cheat so my niece could win a contest when she could draw something herself and it would feel more rewarding if she won that way. After that she totally blew up in my face saying that I didn’t want to do it because I hated her kid and that since I’m her auntie I should just do it.
A little context before I show why you might think I’m an asshole: I love my niece but her mom hands everything to her on a silver platter. She could ask for the clothes off some girls back and her mom would give it to her. Now because of this I have gotten into lots of verbal arguments with her mom about how spoiled she was and how her mom just pretends not to see it so ever since then she’s just concluded that since I “didn’t have as much stuff as her” I was jealous and hated her kid.
Because of all of this I still refused regardless of what she said and I told her “The world isn’t fair and she has to learn that. If she doesn’t win this art contest it won’t be the end of the world she’ll be fine” She flipped out some more and then told my mom who flipped out EVEN HARDER. I was called selfish and weird but imo they’re the ones who asked me so I have a right to refuse.
I know depending on who reads this I’m gonna sound like someone who just needs to suck it up but I swear it goes much deeper than this post.
I know reddits a ruthless place which is why I’m asking y’all…AITA?

Hello. I have a single block wall I'd like to insulate out.
It's about 1800 wide and 3000 height at its tallest point. I just had the roof redone and will be insulating and boarding the ceiling too, but that should be more straightforward.
There were a few leaks when I moved in 4 months ago. The place was empty for 8 years so I can't say how long it was there for. Would any remaining moisture in the wall cause problems if I cover it?
I'd like to have shelves across the wall, so I imagine I'll need studs running up? Is it best to frame it out, put insulation in the holes, and board over the top?
Thanks :--)