I have mentored 4 student teachers in the past two years, with only 1 showing an outstanding attitude and work ethic. My first one helped herself to my secret stash of chocolate, giving it to a work colleague, so I couldn’t stress-eat in my recess break. She also invited herself out to dinner with other (too-nice colleagues) and said “Oops! Can you spot me? I don’t have any money on me.” She did not pay him back. She used to rock up 29 minutes before class, sit at my desk and require reminders to stop being on her laptop when I’d previously arranged for her to supervise a small group. Student 2 used to skip into my room and ask me “What’s your goal that you want to achieve today?” before informing me that she was off her ADHD meds and all over the shop. Which brings me to my current student teacher. I’ve awkwardly been put into a situation where she is a parent at the school. - not even manage to locate the paperwork she needs to record her observations, lesson plans or know what rubric I’m assessing her on (I found it all within 10 minutes of reading the Uni handbook). - Writes lesson plans that require me to spellcheck (I can’t even at this point). Lesson plans arrive 3 days after discussion. - I get emails seeking clarification on things we have already discussed, or I have provided resources for them to research content knowledge, behaviour management etc but then actively asking questions that could be answered by reading the said resources. - Not having access to personal laptop or knowing how to log in to access her Uni things from the school laptop I’ve provided. - I get 3am emails because she’s stressing at how she’ll be able to cope and has stated she wants to cry when some student (Junior kids) needs her support and she doesn’t know how to give it. I mean….this parent has a child in exactly the same age group! - I’ve reassured her that she doesn’t have to do it all and I do not have expectations that everything will be perfect but to prioritise what’s important- observing, getting to know students and writing a lesson plan. Yet I’m the one accessing all of the materials she needs and I cannot believe I am dealing with a grown adult here. -It’s not even a ‘student teacher’ thing for me- I’m just finding it depressing that people who are so obviously unsuited to being a teacher are studying a Masters, and have stated that they are doing this because ‘they’re scared that AI will take their current job’ is setting our profession up for failure. My most competent student teacher who will become a fabulous teacher over time is the only thing that motivates me to keep mentoring. Thanks for the rant….It’s a laugh or cry situation….🤦🏾‍♀️🤯

When your taste buds yearn for the mouthwatering flavor of a perfectly grilled steak, Hesperia, California, delivers like no other. This desert city may surprise you with its variety of steakhouses, each offering a unique twist on the classic steak dinner. Whether you're a local looking for a new favorite spot or a traveler passing through, these six top-rated steakhouses in Hesperia, California, in 2024 are sure to leave you craving more. Let's dive into these sizzling sensations and find out where your next steak adventure awaits!

1. Desert Flame Steakhouse

A Culinary Oasis

Nestled in the heart of Hesperia, Desert Flame Steakhouse is a beacon for steak lovers. Known for its rustic charm and warm atmosphere, this spot offers a dining experience that feels like a cozy retreat.

• Signature Dish: The Ribeye Special – a 16-ounce ribeye grilled to perfection and served with garlic mashed potatoes and seasonal vegetables.
• Ambiance: Rustic décor with wooden accents, soft lighting, and a roaring fireplace.
• Must-Try: Their homemade steak sauce, a closely guarded recipe that perfectly complements any cut.

Why We Love It

Desert Flame doesn't just serve steaks; it serves memories. The staff here treat you like family, ensuring that every meal is a memorable one. Plus, their wine list is top-notch, featuring selections that pair beautifully with their menu.

2. Sierra Peaks Steakhouse

Elevated Dining

Perched on the outskirts of Hesperia, Sierra Peaks Steakhouse offers more than just a meal—it provides an experience. With panoramic views of the Sierra Nevada Mountains, dining here feels like a special occasion every time.

• Signature Dish: The Filet Mignon – an 8-ounce filet wrapped in bacon, grilled to your liking, and served with a creamy mushroom sauce.
• Ambiance: Upscale with floor-to-ceiling windows, offering stunning mountain views.
• Must-Try: Their truffle mac and cheese, a decadent side dish that steals the show.

Why We Love It

Sierra Peaks combines breathtaking views with gourmet cuisine, making it the perfect spot for romantic dinners and celebrations. The attentive service and luxurious setting ensure that every visit is unforgettable.

3. Cattleman’s Grill

Down-Home Comfort

Cattleman’s Grill brings a touch of Texas to Hesperia with its hearty portions and laid-back vibe. This is the place to go when you want a great steak without any fuss.

• Signature Dish: The Cowboy Ribeye – a massive 20-ounce bone-in ribeye that's juicy, flavorful, and cooked to perfection.
• Ambiance: Casual and cozy with checkered tablecloths and country music.
• Must-Try: Their loaded baked potato, topped with cheese, bacon, and chives.

Why We Love It

Cattleman’s Grill is all about comfort food done right. The friendly service and relaxed atmosphere make it a favorite for families and groups of friends looking to enjoy a hearty meal together.

4. Pinnacle Steakhouse

Modern Elegance

For those who appreciate a modern twist on traditional steakhouse fare, Pinnacle Steakhouse is a must-visit. This chic eatery combines contemporary décor with a menu that’s both innovative and delicious.

• Signature Dish: The Wagyu Strip – a melt-in-your-mouth strip steak that's known for its rich marbling and buttery texture.
• Ambiance: Sleek and sophisticated with modern art and ambient lighting.
• Must-Try: Their bone marrow butter, which adds an extra layer of decadence to any steak.

Why We Love It

Pinnacle Steakhouse offers a fresh take on the classic steakhouse experience. The creative menu and stylish setting make it a great choice for date nights and special occasions.

5. Hesperia Chophouse

Timeless Tradition

Hesperia Chophouse is a local institution, beloved for its timeless approach to steakhouse dining. Here, tradition reigns supreme, and every dish is crafted with care.

• Signature Dish: The Porterhouse – a 24-ounce behemoth that's perfect for sharing, cooked to your exact specifications.
• Ambiance: Classic and elegant with white tablecloths and dark wood paneling.
• Must-Try: Their classic Caesar salad, prepared tableside for a bit of old-school flair.

Why We Love It

Hesperia Chophouse is where you go for a tried-and-true steakhouse experience. The impeccable service and attention to detail make it a standout in the local dining scene.

6. High Desert Steakhouse

Casual Excellence

Last but certainly not least, High Desert Steakhouse offers a laid-back environment with top-tier steaks. It's the perfect blend of casual dining and gourmet cuisine.

• Signature Dish: The New York Strip – a 12-ounce strip steak that's juicy and flavorful, served with your choice of sides.
• Ambiance: Relaxed and inviting with a friendly, down-to-earth staff.
• Must-Try: Their house-made chimichurri sauce, which adds a zesty kick to any steak.

Why We Love It

High Desert Steakhouse is all about great food without the pretense. It’s a fantastic spot for a casual dinner with friends or a relaxed family meal.

FAQs

What are the best steakhouses in Hesperia, California in 2024?

The six top-rated steakhouses in Hesperia, California, in 2024 include Desert Flame Steakhouse, Sierra Peaks Steakhouse, Cattleman’s Grill, Pinnacle Steakhouse, Hesperia Chophouse, and High Desert Steakhouse. Each offers a unique dining experience with delicious steaks and exceptional service.

Which steakhouse has the best view in Hesperia?

Sierra Peaks Steakhouse offers the best view, with stunning panoramic vistas of the Sierra Nevada Mountains, making it an ideal spot for a memorable dining experience.

Where can I find the most affordable steak in Hesperia?

Cattleman’s Grill is known for its hearty portions and reasonable prices, making it a great choice for those looking for a delicious yet affordable steak dinner.

Are any of these steakhouses good for special occasions?

Yes, Sierra Peaks Steakhouse and Pinnacle Steakhouse are particularly well-suited for special occasions, offering upscale dining experiences with elegant settings and exceptional menus.

Can I bring my kids to these steakhouses?

Absolutely! Places like Cattleman’s Grill and High Desert Steakhouse offer a casual and family-friendly atmosphere, making them great options for dining with kids.

Conclusion

Hesperia, California, may be known for its desert landscapes, but when it comes to steak, this city is a hidden gem. From the rustic charm of Desert Flame Steakhouse to the modern elegance of Pinnacle Steakhouse, there's a spot for every steak lover. So next time you're in town, treat yourself to a delicious meal at one of these six top-rated steakhouses in Hesperia, California, in 2024. Your taste buds will thank you!

Everyone I spend time with my friend it feel so wonderful. Is it still love after all this time?
I miss her so much every time I leave after a visit.More of a story and a question. I really don’t even know where to start. You need to how painfully confusing this friendship was from the start. Met in grad school 2017, was taken with my friend quite quickly, and she expressed interest and when I followed up on her invites she wasn’t interested. So, I avoided her because I didn’t want to get involved. However, she ended up running into me all the time and something changed. One night right around Christmas at dinner, she just blurted out she’s polyamorous and a few other things. I didn’t know how to react and by the time I knew what the hell was going I, I didn’t know if I wanted to get involved, thought I might get hurt.
There were a number of nights at 3AM when she asked me to come back for coffee or whatever(that I remember), and I wasn’t sure of anything. However, we ended up living close together and then spent way too much time together during the pandemic going on trips alone, with her other partner. I felt myself falling for her again, but then she moved away and my life fell apart. But it didn’t end.
I need to clarify. My life falling apart wasn’t her fault. The pandemic pidgeon-holed me in a toxic job and then both my older parents had health incidents which required that I move back and start taking care of them and 80% of the household items and transitioning them to a smaller house. Couple that with my own health problems which are a result of all this stress and I feel like I’ve lost who I really learned to be.
I know I should be out doing things and looking elsewhere, but I have no time. I waste 2.5 hrs commuting to work, errands after work for my parents, come home cooking, scrape the remnants of myself together, take a sleeping pill (because the tv is never off) and go to bed. This isn’t relevant except to say I hope I’m not simply clinging to my friend for the wrong reasons.
I’ve withdrawn into myself, am nervous and generally don’t feel like dealing with people. Every other aspect of my life is so taxing right now.
Back to my friend. Knowing her changed me. Although I was confused, she still taught me how fulfilling it can be to make someone happy, communicate emotionally with someone and just feel content and happy being with them. Simple things like telling them unabashedly how something small they did made me happy, being more demonstrative with me affection, and how reciprocating is so fulfilling. The constant making fun of me always helped too. I think that I wouldn’t really have these feelings if she didn’t keep doing as much for me as I try to do for her. I don’t know why I feel embarrassed, but I feel content and so much more when I’m with her.
She gave me so much confidence and energy.
A couple months ago, we met up in NYC for four days and just spent time together. When I went pick up my car at the valet service, we hugged, said goodbye and (it sounds stupid) she said she wanted to wait with me. So we sat down on the bench, and she put her head on my shoulder. It just touched me. There’s a quote that always stuck with me from a young age, but it never really meant that much until I met her. It is “Find someone to sit with you, none of us are strong enough to do it alone.” I held it together until I drove away. I know it’s a reflection of how I’m struggling right now, but the time I spent with her, made me perk back up, be myself more.
Then last week we met up again. I drove 8 hours to spend 10 hours with her and a few friends. It made it clear to me how much time spent with her makes me feel more like my ‘actual self’ if that makes sense. She kept up bringing things up she wanted to do, and had already planned another trip.
Yes, I’m pretty sure she knows how I feel. When she moved away, I told her that she means so much to me and all the time we spent together meant the world. She stopped her car, ran back out and just squeezed me so hard. It felt like a stupid Casablanca moment. I’ve probably drunkenly said something I don’t quite remember too. To be clear, I don’t ever expect anything ‘more’. I cherish having her as a friend.
There’s always a part of me that hopes one of us won’t follow up. More often than not she asks me right before I leave if I’d like to do ‘something else’ with her that she’s already started thinking about. Or I’ll get a call right when I get home. I don’t ever say no.
Part of this post is me trying to understand me feelings. I know I want her in my life more, but that won’t work now or possibly ever. What does more mean for me? I don’t know. I get so much energy when I see her, I’m motivated to do so much with her. Seeing her giggle and have fun give me a wonderful feeling. The other 90%of my life is filled with constant stress, and indifference bordering on hate for my parents. And why does she make me feel like a more complete person? I don’t know.

I am an international student graduating from a university in Toronto. In February, I submitted a visitor visa application for my parents to attend my graduation ceremony in June 2024. I included all necessary supporting documents to demonstrate their financial solvency, such as recent bank statements showing ample funds (more than CAD $33,000) for the trip, and a property and fixed asset valuation report from a Chartered Accountant. Additionally, my parents have a strong international travel history including recent visits to the UK, the US and many other countries. I clearly stated in the invitation letter and the purpose of the travel document that their visit was to attend my graduation and that they would return home by the end of June 2024 due to business and property responsibilities.
These were the supporting documents for the application:

• I provided 3 bank statements that accumulate funds equivalent to $33,000 CAD and a fixed asset valuation report of my father’s property from a Chartered Accountant, reflecting its current fair market value of more than 5 Million CAD
  
• ⁠The purpose of travel is to attend my graduation mentioned in the invitation letter and the purpose of the travel document with the proof of solid family ties back home that shows they must come back by the end of June. Both my parents have a good international history with a record of recent visits to the UK, the USA and other countries.
  
• ⁠Documents proving their family ties to Home country are:
  
  • Asset valuation report that reflects property ownership
  • Recent bank statements that accumulates funds of $33,000 CAD
  • The business licence for my enterprise in Home Country
  • Rent receipts from all the tenants of my solely-owned business property with the rental agreement
  • Tax return since 2021
  • National Identity Documents

However, I received a refusal letter from IRCC last night including the following reasons:

I am not satisfied that you will leave Canada at the end of your stay as required by paragraph 179(b) of the IRPR (https://laws-lois.justice.gc.ca/eng/regulations/SOR-2002-227/section-179.html). I am refusing your application because you have not established that you will leave Canada, based on the following factors: Your assets and financial situation are insufficient to support the stated purpose of travel for yourself (and any accompanying family member(s), if applicable). The purpose of your visit to Canada is not consistent with a temporary stay given the details you have provided in your application. 

I have 3 options in hand now: 1. Re-apply (Processing Time: 80+ days) 2. Reconsideration (as quickly as 5 business days) 3. Judicial Review (the most expensive and time consuming option)
I decided to submit a reconsideration letter. However, I am not sure how much of a difference it would make. I would appreciate any support on how to prepare an ideal reconsideration letter. Also, I would like to know if this reconsideration request actually makes any difference.
Thank you!

This is a slightly meandering story. Sorry for the length.
Our daughter - call her Jillian - (38F) got re-married two years ago to, say, Joe (40M). His mother is what I call a "sheeple". She worships the ground a certain Republican walks on. Now we're Republican, but very liberal and I despise this certain 'politician'. Joe warned his mother before we met NOT to bring up politics. We went out to dinner to meet, having a lovely time, then MIL to be starts talking politics. I get up and excuse myself to the restroom. This happened several times, and I always handled it basically the same way. Removing myself from the room.
As an aside, I should mention that I was mobile then. Now I use a rollatewalker because I need a hip replacement and have for several years.
Finally the Thanksgiving before the wedding, I reached my limit. I was in pain and AGAIN MIL to be brings up some case that highlighted gun use. I got up snapped at her something in opposition to what she was saying and starting to "roll" off. She sneered and said I must be a liberal snowflake. My response was that I was a Liberal Republican who believed in women's rights & gay rights. Then I literally told hubby "we're leaving" and stormed out as best I could.
Wedding came, and everything went smooth. MIL sat next to me, we chatted, we were polite. No politics. I thought everything was fine. Though MIL got to sit at head table and we did not. We sat in first table with other family members.
Holidays come around again and we get a phone call from Jillian. We're no longer going to have holidays with her and Joe because they can't put me and MIL together and MIL is single (been divorced for decades), while hubby and I have each other. I was hurt and said it wasn't fair. She has a son from her first marriage - our only grandchiold - and he lives in another state with his father. So we only see him during summer months and a few holidays each year. Jillian decided to compromise. Since her son would be with his Dad at Christmas, she had Easter the following year (2024). She would have us over for Easter,, but MIL would get Thanksgiving. Okay, that sounds fine.
A month before Easter we get a call that our niece and her family would be travelling home from Disney World and spending the Easter weekend with Jillian and Joe. Their house would be too crowded (7 total w/o us), therefore we wouldn't be allowed to spend Easter with them. I wanted to see my niece and her family too. "Maybe you can go out to dinner while they're here." I blew up, I admit it. She has cut us off once before from grandson (don't even remember why), when we ask to be invited to outings with grandson she tells us that it's too difficult for me or I would slow them down. We paid for parts of their wedding, I've given her money when married to first husband to help them out. I have an elderly father in our hometown that she keeps promising to take grandson to visit (he's only met him once and never met Joe), but always has an excuse.
Finally I threw my hands up and have washed them of her. She did send me a text wishing me a "Happy Birthday" last month, but I ignored it. Nothing for Mother's Day. None of us have blocked the others on SM. I just don't want anything to do with her anymore, grandson or not. I'm tired of swallowing my thoughts & feelings so we woudn't be cut off from him. So if we have to lose him too, at this point, so be it. My father is not going to be around many more years and I don't want them at the funeral, either. If she can't be bothered to visit him while he's alive, then don't visit when he passes.
So are WTA in overreacting and should we reach out?

I’m f(21) dating (m21) for 2 years. for a while now ive felt like he’s been getting too comfortable, for example he’s on his phone 24/7. he can’t even brush his teeth without having an AirPod in watching something on his phone. It’s constant. Makes me wonder why I’m even over at his to begin with. Besides the point. I’m over at his house currently after HE invited me over to stay for a week after we hadn’t seen each other in a month, and won’t be seeing each other for another month after this said week. Every day that I’ve been here he’s been wanting to hang out with his friends. Not me. Again im asking myself why am I even here? He went out twice already after a couple of days of me being here, each time saying he’d only go for an hour but ended up being 3 (no exaggeration) while I just sit at his house alone with no communication. Also it was our 2 year “anniversary” yesterday, and he gave me the silent treatment all day and blew off our dinner date all because I said he shouldn’t hang out with his friend on our anniversary, which also I cried myself to sleep next to him that night and he shouted at me to “stop sniffling”. I’m lost and I feel stuck. I struggle with leaving people who are toxic to me. why invite me over when this is how he’s gonna treat me? :(

I’ve been at my current pest control job for 3 months now. During the training process, my manageboss randomly asked me if I’m religious, to which I said “Yes I’m Christian”. Then proceeded to ask if I “Believe in Jesus” to which I said “Yes” and he responded “That’s good”.
With him being the only manageboss at the company, I expected him to keep inviting me to his church, but he’s only invited me twice. The other 3 employees in the company are also Mormon.
Yesterday I stopped by his house to pick up my paycheck, and he let me know he had “New Elders over for dinner to celebrate with my family”, and asked if I would stay for dinner, but I felt like I had no other choice but to say yes. Now we’re sitting at the table talking and my boss tells the Elders “Would you guys mind giving us a lesson”, so they pulled out the Mormon bible and some pamphlets then asked me to choose one.
I picked a card and then scanned the QR code on it which pulled out up verse, and they asked me to read the entire page. I did so and then the whole thing turned into a bible study.
Fast forward 30 minutes and the Elders asked for my number so they can text me later to talk about the verse I read. So I give it to them. Today they texted me again asking if I had time to reflect on the verse but I didn’t respond back.
My biggest fear is since they’re close to my boss they might tell him I’m ignoring them or whatever else, and I’ll end up losing my job. I really need a job right now because it’s hard to go anywhere else.
Does anyone else have experience with this sort of situation and have any advice to give? I’m actively applying to other jobs and hoping I don’t lose my current job before that happens.
(Also I forgot to add the job bulletin my mangeboss had online lied about the salary when I spoke with him. It said $1900 and at the interview he told me $1650. Then when I signed the employee agreement it said I agree to a salary of $1650 per paycheck… but my actual paycheck is only $1350 so he lied three times.)

I (18F) have always known my dad (53M) wasn’t the most healthy person in the world. For some context on my family and to make sure it’s a whole picture i’m basically going to trauma dump, so TW for sexual assault i guess? When i was two he and my mom(48F) got a divorce because he was using drugs and alcohol to cope with some of his past traumas, while never putting in any work to get past them. After the divorce he ended up being put in prison after receiving multiple DUI’s (im not entirely sure how it happened exactly, i was two or three when he was locked up) and it got him locked up till I was six. My mom, despite having every reason to speak badly of my father, never said anything negative about him. She would take me to visit him, let me read the letters he sent me (when i actually could read, and she would write my replies down for me), and always let me talk to him when he called. We lived with my grandparents while he was locked up. After he got out he spent a long time working to get past his unhealthy coping mechanisms. He lives with his parents for two years and i would visit often. When i was eight he finally had a stable enough job to have both me and my mother move back in with him. I was young, and stupid, and when they asked me if i was okay with it I said yes. We moved into a single wide mobile home in my dad’s home town. My entire life was uprooted and replanted. I began classes in my new school and was bullied for most of my time there. I was told to “suck it up, bullies aren’t that bad.” even though in middle school i was pushed down a very steep flight of stairs and almost broke my arm. My grades began slipping and i went from a gifted child to a burn out really quick. My dad would yell at me and my mom for my grades, then get mad when i couldn’t understand how explained something to me. By thirteen i was suicidal and it was “an attempt to get attention” according to my dad. He had begun to pick fights with my mom over the littlest things. The house wasn’t clean enough, she didn’t make dinner fast enough, my room was a mess. (it was the size of a medium sized walk in closet.) And then my older (half) brother moved in with us. He (32M, let’s call him Michael) had never had a stable life and my dad coddled him because he felt like he had failed him. He had, but Michael was always a screwed up dude, so it only added into it. Anyways, over the course of the next three years my older brother would come to sexually assault me about five times over the next three years. We ended up moving into a larger house when i was about fifteen and i ended up going into counseling and learning that i had been groomed and conditioned to be basically unaware of the trauma inflicted on my by my brother since i was a kid. My dad, when i was seven and my brother a teenager, would turn a blind eye to Michael basically bashing my head into the island counter whenever he would steal something like food from me. My grandparents would always intervene and he would call me a whiner. At night he would tell me all sorts of things and make it seem like he was my only friend in the world. He kept doing it my entire life. My father, who had stopped drinking, had begun again because my grandfather was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer and has been fighting for him life since, it’s been about eight years i think since they had to pull him out of remission because the cancer came back. This is when he really became a nightmare. Depending on what type of alchohol he drinks his mood goes a few ways. Whiskey and he gets angry. Tequila and he gets all sappy and lovey dovey(this makes me very uncomfortable because he hasn’t ever been very openly affectionate), beer and he’s just a happy drunk, and wine and he gets sad. Sometimes it switches up but normally this is how it goes. After i finally told my parents about my brother and what he had done and him getting kicked out, he began to bury himself in alcohol. I had to get over it fast because he was blaming anyone within pissing distance. Eventually he would cry to me about how he had failed him son, to the daughter that his son had raped. it was really fucked up, and he only ever said that when he was drunk. (I want to say that my dad isn’t an inherently terrible person, he didn’t have a good life growing up and generational trauma hits hard.)He has been using drinking as a way to escape reality for a long time. It’s caused a great deal of arguments and both of my parents asking “what they do to deserve this” while my dad accuses me of treating him like garbage (he says the same thing to my mom). We’ve had to leave the house and spend a few days with other people before because i was scared he was going to hit us instead of the walls next time, multiple times. The most recent bought of fighting has been happening over the last three days. (for more context i moved out right after i turned eighteen, i became a manager at my workplace and was able to live with friends) I’ve been visiting my family and spending time with them since i haven’t really had time the past few months. I guess my mom found out that he had been receiving nudes from other women on messenger and wanted AT LEAST an apology. My dad blamed it on a married friend who was using his phone. it was a lie because he’s been receiving them almost every day. and commenting on them. it makes me sick to think about. he has begun blaming my mom for it. saying she ruined our old house, that she has to one up him, and saying “do you really wanna go there?” while he was the one who fucked up. After screaming at each other for nearly an hour he said he wanted to break up. My mom spiraled and wanted to kill herself. Her psychiatrist that she had a tele-health call with that day, asked me to basically watch my mom to make sure she doesn’t kill herself. I took her pills and asked my dad to lock up his guns. he took this as her “one -upping him”. Yesterday while i was back at my apartment i got a call from my mom explaining that he had gotten drunk and had told her to kill herself. She had left and was at a bridge to watch the water. I drove back in a panic since i live a town over. Today, my father was drunk again and asked me to go spend time alone so he could screw my mom. I didn’t want to be there so i showered and got ready to leave. Turns out their conversation had shifted and he was berating her for “not letting him discipline me”. I guess that after years of pent up anger never being touched on, i finally snapped and began yelling at him. I called him a hypocrite and he called me a bitch. And basically i left as he began to destroy things around the house. That was after i told him if he kept going this way i would cut contact. I’m currently sitting at our outdoor sports complex writing this because everyone i know is busy and i don’t want to bother them. I just needed to get it out. I don’t know if cutting contact is the right thing to do. Of if it makes me an asshole. I’m only eighteen. I don’t know what to do anymore.

Last week, I invited my sister-in-law, who loves cooking, to stay with us. She offered to cook dinner as a way to show her gratitude. However, I have a meticulously organized and spotless kitchen due to my severe anxiety around mess and disorder, something that my family is well aware of.
Despite this, after she cooked, the kitchen was left in what I would consider a disastrous state—spills on the counter, pots not cleaned properly, and utensils misplaced. It took me hours just to calm down after seeing the mess. The next day, I calmly explained how distressed it made me feel and asked if she could cover the cost of a professional cleaning service to restore it to its original condition.
She was shocked and upset by my request, arguing that she had already contributed by buying groceries and spending her evening cooking for us. My husband thinks I was too harsh and should have cleaned it myself or let it go this time. This has caused tension between us and his sister.
So Reddit, AITA for insisting she pays for the cleaning service knowing my issues with anxiety and cleanliness?

So I guess this is a double post because two things happened with this friend last night. For some background knowledge I’m 27 yrs old and I weigh 119. I suffer from body dysmorphia and this is something my friend knows. She weighs 130 and she always talks about wanting to lose weight and exercise but never does so. For me, I’m very big on portion control and I exercise everyday with going on a mile walk and I attend yoga on Thursdays.
Last night my friend and I were going out for dinner. I’m getting married this fall and it’s a very small scale wedding it will only be up to 50-60 people. My friend asked me if her boyfriend can come to my wedding as she’s always talking to him about it. From what she told me her boyfriend is a horrible person. He’s very verbally and mentally abusive. I wish she had the courage to leave him. I guess now they are doing well because she hasn’t told me anything bad in a while. But my mind is made up from all the horrible stuff I heard he’s not coming to my wedding. My friend told me that he also made a nasty ignorant comments about Koreans that “they all look the same”. My fiancé he is Korean and I love him and his family way too much to let some ignorant ass attend our wedding.
I simply told my friend that I don’t feel comfortable if he attends due to the stuff I have heard about him. She instantly looked sad and disappointed. She told me that it’s awkward because he really wants to come to my wedding and doesn’t know what to say when he asks about my wedding. In actuality my friend never let me meet him or hang out with him. She always keeps me far away from him and according to her the only way I can hangout with him is when my fiancé comes back from South Korea. Because in her words “everyone will be comfortable” when my fiancé is there. Back from that little side note I told my friend that I’m sorry but he’s not invited. Luckily conversation shifted after that but it was terribly awkward and I’m sure this isn’t the last time we talk about this.
We went to dinner to the Cheesecake Factory. I had a bit of my dinner and saved my cheesecake for when I get home and for tomorrow. My friend finished all of her food plus the cheesecake. We decided to go to Marshall’s afterwards. As we were shopping I heard my friend ask me “did you get your period?” I am expected to get it in two days. I panicked and looked down to see if I was bleeding and then looked up realizing I was safe and didn’t have it. I asked her “no why?” and she quickly said “it’s nothing don’t worry”. I said to her “but there’s a reason why you asked” and she said “well it’s because you look really bloated”. I didn’t expect to hear that and I was really shocked. She then said “well we eat a lot maybe that’s why”. I didn’t say anything and ignored her.
I know some friends comment on each other’s weights and bodies. Our friendship isn’t one of those friendships. We never comment on each other’s bodies as I know she has her own body issues. I told my mom all of this and she thinks my friend did this out of petty revenge because I’m not letting her boyfriend come to my wedding. Overall I’m just shocked and upset by last night and I would love to hear everyone’s opinions!

I don't know if I'm doing this right or if I'm in the right place, but my life has felt pretty rough recently. It's nothing compared to what some people are going through but it still sucks to me. I got my first "job" a couple of weeks ago although it's actually just work experience and training in a coffee shop. I'm struggling, I still don't know how to make Coffee, most of the time I don't know what to do with myself and I feel like I have literally no time for anything I enjoy. I'm also still a student which is why I feel like I have no extra time. I'm quitting next week, since I'm not getting paid and I've been told that there's a lot I should improve on and that I "have to want to learn" which I do, but I also just want to not break down with all the stress. I also feel like I'm messing other stuff in my life up. I've been declining invites to family and friend events (small stuff like dinner and a day out), and I was trying to run a Dungeons and Dragons session earlier but I felt like I was just saying all the wrong things. I've got a project due soon that I'm no where near finished on. I keep abandoning craft work in progresses. I can't sleep or do anything I need to. I feel useless and helpless and like I'm hanging on by a thread. I don't know what I'm looking for here, maybe I just want someone who I don't know and who doesn't know me to hear my story so I feel less alone. If you're still here, thanks for reading. I hope your life feels a little better than mine does right now

Hi Reddit, throw away account for obvious reasons but y’all are a lot cheaper than therapy so here we go. I know this is long but I feel that the context is important.
TL;DR - I need advice for how to tell my mom that I intend to go no contact with my mom because I can’t deal with her husband’s alcohol fueled innappropriate behavior in my life anymore especially now that I have a family of my own. I already had a long heart to heart explaining where I’m coming from and she appeared to understand and even agree, but she still makes excuses for her husband.
I (31 F) have a young daughter only a few months old. My mom (57 F) has been married to my stepdad (60 M) for 28 years, and I’ve never gotten along with him. He’s an alcoholic, and for lack of a better description, turns into a belligerent asshole when he’s drunk, which is of course all the time. He’s extremely inappropriate and vulgar in public and even at important family events (weddings, funerals, etc), and generally makes everyone, including his own family members uncomfortable. Unfortunately, my mom has been with him for so long that she makes excuses for him, and is constantly manipulated by him. There have been prior domestic violence incidents where I’ve called the police, and she lies for him. They’re both retired, and she’s super intelligent so is constantly wanting to learn new things, but he prevents her from doing any hobbies or additional education that makes her happy - especially if alcohol isn’t involved or if it’s inconveniences him.
So this weekend, both of them flew in from out of town - we live almost 1,000 miles away across a few states - to spend some time with my daughter, and to celebrate my birthday and Mother’s Day. We also scheduled our daughter’s baptism for this same weekend so my mom could attend since she’s recently taken up an interest in my religion.
I knew there would be a problem pretty quickly after they landed. We have small a local airport only 10 minutes away from us, but they always choose to fly to a larger international airport in a different state, rent a car, and drive over 2 hours to get here. There was an issue with their rental car and my mom started texting me to complain about it. I tried to brush it off and not get annoyed, but this happens every single time they come and there are obviously more convenient options. It took them over 3 1/2 hours to get to our city from the airport and I get texts like “omg we finally just now made it to our airbnb”.
I called her and it was clear that they had been drinking either on the plane, in the airports, or more likely than not, both - even though it was barely noon. She was annoyed and asked about our impending dinner reservation, which was several hours away still. I asked if she was going to come to our house to see her granddaughter beforehand, but she wanted to “relax” at the airbnb (aka drink more) and that my stepdad was trying to find a last minute barber in town because he was apparently unhappy with how his hair was overgrown. Never heard him mention a barber in my life so this was extremely strange to me.
A few hours go by and we’ve got about 30 minutes before we have to leave for dinner. I get a text from my mom asking if we can go pick her up at the airbnb alone. Due to my stepdads history I asked if everything was ok, and all I got in reply was “no”. I sent my husband over there and she was waiting on the street. When she got in his car and he asked if she was alright, she jokingly said “oh well I’m single now”.
I didn’t get much info out of her except he was “cranky” about their travel day and mad he couldn’t find a barber - again - so fucking random. They had gotten into a verbal altercation and he locked himself in the bathroom for over an hour. We’re talking about a 60 year old man here.. some people never grow up I guess. So she comes to dinner with the rest of our group of family and friends and acts like everything is ok. I tried to insist that she stay at our house that night because I didn’t feel that it was safe, but she went back to the airbnb anyway.
When she got back there, my stepdad and their rental car was gone, and he had turned off his location from her view. I called her and had a long hour conversation about how this behavior isn’t ok, that he’s manipulative, and that we’d be happy to let her live with us if that’s what it takes to get her out of this toxic relationship. She cried and agreed that what he does isn’t ok and that it’s a huge struggle for her and said “I’m not 100% sure but I think this is it for me finally”.
I wasn’t happy that it had come to this but I was glad to have a breakthrough with her, and be able to be blatantly honest. Also needs to be mentioned that when I talk to her on the phone, it is ALWAYS on speaker and he’s listening in. Even if he’s in the bathroom, she asks me to recap what I said if he comes back. Not just me, other family members notice this too.
While on this hour long conversation we talked about how he is no longer invited to my daughters baptism the next day or to my house and I offered to have my husband and I tell him ourselves, which she insisted that she wanted to handle herself to “soften the blow”.
So all this transpires, he apparently came back to the airbnb very late and apologized to her, and today she attended my daughter’s baptism alone. She was clearly upset about his absence, but I stood my ground. She asked if I had changed my mind about the rest of the weekend because “he was so apologetic” to her, and I again said no. It’s not the first time and it won’t be the last time but I’ve had enough over the last 28 years of him manipulating my mom. While we were packing up to leave the church she told me that she would probably be spending time with him because “he wouldn’t be ok” hanging out alone for the rest of the weekend. She also suggested that she would try to fly out again in a few weeks alone after the dust settles to spend time with me and my daughter.
When we were walking to our cars, my mom was borderline crying, didn’t say goodbye to me or my daughter, got into the car (she hitched a right with one of our friends since we didn’t have room in our car) and left. She didn’t come to our house, she didn’t show up for our planned lunch reservation, and she hasn’t said a word to me since.
At this point even if she does reach out and not just fly home in the next few days I’ve decided that the option is 1) she can be a part of my life and my family’s life if her husband isn’t around or 2) no-contact. I wish I could say this is the first time I’ve gone no-contact with them, but there were a time period over 10 years ago that I didn’t speak to them either and that lasted 3 years.
I know she’s not going to take it well when I tell her, and I’ve accepted the fact that she’s likely going to stay with him even if it means never seeing her granddaughter again. Or IF I get to tell her at all since she is not talking to me. Her airbnb is literally 1/2 mile from my house and we can see each other’s location so I know she’s just there with him and ghosting me.
So now I feel that I’m in a stalemate waiting for her to talk to me, just so that I can tell her that I can’t have her as a part of my life if her husband is always tagging along. I also want to make it clear that while I think it would be better that she divorce him, that’s not the ultimatum I’m wanting to communicate to her.

So my husband is going away on a retreat with a group of friends for just one night. It's a group of friends he met through work and everyone in that group knows me pretty well. They get all together once a week to hang out and whenever they do, they also invite me. A new girl (who has a bf already) joined this group a couple months ago and she flirted with my husband even though she knew we were married. This happened in OUR home when we invited people over for dinner! My husband told me right away after this incident and we also told some of the other people in the group about it; one of his friends (let's call them friend A) said that if this happens again, my husband should tell friend A and they'll make sure to talk to the new girl.
So for the last month or so, new girl hasn't been hanging out with them but she is part of the retreat group this time.
Earlier, she messaged my husband about going to Costco with her to get food for everyone on the retreat b/c another girl couldn't make it and my husband was the only one who had a Costco card. I said no to that, he agreed with me and I thought it was the end of that matter.
Fast forward several hours and I find out that my husband ended up going to Costco anyway but he said there were 2 other people with him and not just the new girl. The stupid thing is is that the new girl borrowed her mom's Costco card and the girl who said she couldn't make it actually showed up. I'm just upset with my husband b/c he decided to help with the Costco run when he knew it made me uncomfortable. He called me and explained that he didn't ride in the same car as her and that he's just waiting by the cart while everyone goes to get food from the aisles. I ended up telling him that I loved him and trusted him to do the right thing, but wished he didn't volunteer to go, and that I'm upset with the new girl.
Because the retreat place is only 30 min from our house, I initially wanted my husband to come home and sleep at home at the end of day 1, then go back the next morning to finish off day 2. But I didn't want to spoil his fun and so told him it was fine to stay overnight.
Does anyone else have intensely elevated feelings of jealousy during pregnancy? I've always been a little jealous but it's gotten worse after I became pregnant. 😭😭

I’ve worked for my company for 4.5 years in England and had no real issues until recently. A co worker found a piece of paper on the printer with my name at the top and items to ask me for including any company property, keys and passwords. Obviously sounded like I was being sacked. In the afternoon I was pulled in for a “chat” where I was told I was being given a written warning. I accepted this verbally as I was just glad to still have a job! But now some time has passed I’m wondering if this is a breach of contract on their part due to them not actually inviting me to a formal disciplinary meeting? The way it was communicated to me during this informal meeting was if they did a proper disciplinary meeting I’d be suspended and possibly sacked for gross misconduct. Is this worth doing anything about or do I just keep my gob shut and carry on? I’ve not actually received this written warning in a letter or anything and I’m leaving in the next few months.

Long story short my old boss (who became a friend) was/is highly unstable. Im fairly certain she has undiagnosed BPD and had mentioned it to her in the past. She had no boundaries for work or personal. It was only her and I who worked together each day so I have no one to really speak for the experience I went thru (anyone who did work there quit by week 6 because she was bad. They don't want to write testimony letters in my appeal case due to fear of her retaliating). My boss ensured I quit via email and not fired so i could not get unemployment. I did get approved for unemployment due to a toxic work environment. She claims she did not receive the documents in time to dispute the claim.
Here's a quick overview of why I quit below: We where on a "worktrip" (I was not paid) at a medspa conference. I am not a injector but she is and I was her model. She got mad at me during lunch for inviting one of the girls to go out with us later that night because she was alone. My boss decided to be rude and say ACTUALLY NO THIS IS MY ASSISTANT AND WE ARE NOT GOING OUT TONIGHT (we where and had already had plans on the night for weeks) and then she said COME ON LETS GO and I said no Im going to finish lunch and the conversation and she rolled her eyes and walked away. After that she ignored me for the rest of the day and would pretty much walk away from me if I tried to engage her. She started to be rude to the people running this thing and throwing a fit because she was one of the last injectors. She threw such a fit that they ended up giving her thousands of dollars in free product to get back into her good graces. I was around for this and it was super akward. There was no reason for her to be so rude and disrespectful and she knows I dont play that game and dont want to be associated with people that do cause its not a good look (I had almost quit a few months back due to her being so rude to a sales person that she almost cried and told her then I would not be apart of that ever again and she said she would fix it). After the conference there was a reception for drinks and snacks. She went straight to bar and I sat where she could see me and she just walked away so I went downstairs to the lobby to call and check on my kids. When I went to go back up to the room she had a call on speaker and she was saying terrible things about me and lies. After 15 mins of this she realized I was outside the door and could hear her and asked me to come in and talk. I was pissed at the time so I said no not right now and she slammed the door. I went downstairs to call my husband and calm down and about 20 mins later she comes down with glass of wine in hand telling me we had to speak now. I said no I'm speaking to my husband right now and I'll speak with her later. She said OH YEA REALLY THATS HOW ITS GNA BE THEN I GOT YOU and went back upstairs. A few minutes later a text comes thru from the girl I met at lunch asking about plans for the night. I go to respond and my boss had locked me out of the work account so I go and check my other work accounts and I was locked out of those as well. Then I see her go into the lobby bar and I was not wanting to play her mind games and her "forcing" me to talk to her so I went up to the hotel room to pack my stuff and go to another hotel. I get to the door and try my key and it won't work so go down to the lobby asking for assistance. They called her 3x on speaker with no answer and then go to the back office and 5 mins later come out saying security would be escorting me to get my things. After getting my stuff with security I'm in the lobby and she's like where are you going and I said I'm leaving I'm not doing this with you and she freaks out so I said I was serious to leave me alone and we would discuss it once we got into the office on Monday. She went on to text me at least 70 text messages during the night saying how I wasn't suppose to hear her saying those things (backstory: she has been caught doing this multiple times to me either clients, coworkers, friends, and even directly in front of me. I had spoken to her about it previously saying to stop and she said would and was always just teasing). The next morning (aprx 8 hours later) we fly home. I changed my seat so I wasn't next to her and she kept walking the aisles trying to get my attention and after the 4th time dropped a note on my lap apologizing again). I didn't speak with her and had my husband pick me up from the airport. A few hours later she ends up sending a text that says HEY DID YOU QUIT? I said no I assumed I was fired since I was locked out of all accounts and I'm fine with that. She said no your not fired but if you want to quit please send a resignation letter so I did and it said I QUIT DUE TO A TOXIC WORK ENVIRONMENT. As the days and weeks passed she continued to message me apologizing and asking me to come back to work and each time I refused telling her until she is under the care of a mental health professional for at least 6 months I would not consider it. Once she realized I filed for unemployment and got approved she lost her shit and started to report me saying that I am working and frauding the system (I'm not) and that I quit because I was mad that she told me I was not hitting work standards. Eventually she filed the appeal and it's filled with lies and aprx 40 fake document "writeups" and where the employee should sign it says EMPLOYEE REFUSED TO SIGN on every single one (this is not true as I never received any write up in my 1 year). The appeal hearing case was the other day and she brought her brother inlaw/part owner of company/lawyer with her. I know this guy and have watched his child for him and we have always been on great terms. He came at me hard. So hard to the point that when I was answering the officers questions I had to ask that he be muted due to him laughing or repeatedly yelling at me saying REALLY or ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?! They denied ever receiving my documents concerning the case (they did I sent them to her email where she sent her documents to me from) and insisted they not be used. This went on for over a hour leaving the officer to say we need to continue this at another date and the packet will be in the mail with the new date and time. He went on to argue about why it should be settled now and she had to keep repeating herself that it would be continued as she has other appointments. I expect this next hearing will be just as crazy and if I am still approved for unemployment that they will appeal it again and again until they win or are out of appeals. I'm not sure if I should continue to fight it or just say screw it because I have really bad anxiety over it all (even typing this my heart is racing and hands are sweating) and she is pretty crazy so I'm kind of worried how she will retaliate if I do win. I also know if I lose that I have to repay all money received plus interest and I can't afford that at the moment..obviously. Really the only reason I am at this point is due to principal and wanting to let's her know what she doesn't isn't acceptable. If I give up I feel like she will win and continue on her merry path of destruction and hate. Should I get my own lawyer for this? I'm sure it will cost me more that I will even get from unemployment in total (I have a max benefit amount of 2k) but I have never done this before and feel like I might need someone with experience.

So I'm from a server where the new season is coming in about a week's time so I just wanted to get a clearer picture as to what I will be diving into . So these are the few things that I read and understood from what I have seen in this subreddit . As I said, this is from what I have read so please do correct me if I'm wrong !

1. Noble Path - The new season's noblepath rewards were slightly nerfed, there is no more epic selection chest where we can get a free thoran/rowan/etc and they also removed the 20 epic letters which was replaced by rateup letters(unsure of the amount but I'm assuming 20-30) . Which is people are saying is arguably worse, but personally I think it's a fair trade if they give us slightly more rate up tickets in the noble path (maybe 30-40, I would think 30 is fair since 20 epic letters would be almost pity so 30 rateups would make sense) . Also EXP books are given way lesser in the noble path BUT the amount it takes to level up the characters is significantly lesser as well ( I haven't seen anyone do any calculations or anything yet so I'm not sure if the amount of EXP books they give in both seasons are equal in terms of ratio, would be great if someone can give some insight on this) . Other than these 2 rewards, acorns and soulstones should be the same or if not more than what we got from the first season .
2. Server ranking rewards (dream realm, arena, glory expedition) - From what I understand, Server rankings are still a thing, I am unsure if the rewards for server ranking remained unchanged or if it's slightly better ( please give me some numbers, I would love to know, I'm sure some people in the newer servers might want to know as well ) . On top of the server rewards, there are also district ranking rewards, which are better rewards than server ranking rewards . Also, I only know Dream Realm has both server and district ranking rewards, I believe arena technically has it as well, except they are seperated, the new supreme arena rewards is basically the district ranking rewards for arena ( at least that's how I see it, I understand it's technically is kind of a completely different thing ) so I kinda want to know if glory expedition has a server reward and a district ranking reward or how does glory expedition work now ?
3. DPS charts/ranking (honestly quite clueless on this and would love to get more insight) - From what I have seen, since the nerf of true damage, apparently Odie is top dps now, followed by Marilee then comes Alsa/Korin ? I have seen people saying Bryon is a sleeper OP unit as well ? Also I believe that devs(?)/people have been saying/speculating that Marilee/Korin will still be actually STRONG and be better than odie in endless mode with the new artifact .
4. Dream realm ranking - I believe I saw a post saying that the rankings have been alil buggy or that they haven't made it so that we are able to see both server rankings and district rankings ? Has this issue been fixed ? Are you guys in the new season able to see your server ranking and district ranking, have they been separated out ?
5. Keith's Treasure Hut - I'm unsure if this is not a thing in the new season, have they completely removed this feature out of the new season or is this still a thing and we are able to get some random XP books, A tier soul stones just from defeating some overworld mobs and get some currency to exchange .
6. Glory expedition - I mentioned it slightly in point 2 but I'll ASSUME here first that glory expedition points can ONLY be obtained from district rankings if that's the case, are guilds still server locked ? or are we going to be able to invite people from other servers in your district in a guild ?

Lastly, I'm curious as to how they group each district, how many servers are in each district, aren't all if not most servers going into the new season on different days ? I believe there's only maybe 1-2 servers that are created on the same day itself ? If anyone knows any details to this please enlighten me .
So basically these are the points that I have been seeing on reddit and understood and would love to know if I'm wrong on anything and get a clearer picture of what I will be going into in a week's time . If you have made it this far and read everything, please get yourself a cookie, you for sure deserve it ! Apologies if this is messy, there's quite afew things I laid out and honestly this is not my cleanest/neatest work but hopefully my intentions get through . Thanks in advance for all the answers and everyone that read all of this , cheers !
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My wife, a PhD student in the US, will be attending a 60-day training under a professor in the Czech Republic. I am currently on an H1B visa in the US and wish to accompany her. We are both applying for tourist visas, as her training is informal. She received an invitation letter from the professor, stating that the Czech university will cover her accommodation and travel expenses, but my name is not mentioned in the letter. What is the best approach for me? Should I book separate accommodation and use that as proof, even though this might conflict with the purpose of accompanying my spouse?

Bit of context of how everything happened here: I recently broke up with my partner of 6 years, it was not a nice break up. My mom has started to date a man 20 years younger than her and invited us over for a dinner to meet him, and by us I mean my sister, my brother and me. There has always been bad blood between my sister and me, long story but we have never been close at all.
I want to make clear that I have not gotten over my ex yet, so regarding my feelings, i might be more sensitive than usual. My sister brought to the table the children topic, that she might want to have another child and stuff related to that. My mom decided to make one of her "spicy" jokes mentioning how she also practices on making children without getting pregnant any more, to which I responded that I found inappropriate what she was saying in such serious conversation.
All of a sudden my sister calls me salty and envious, and says the words that really triggered me "It's not mom's fault he left you for her". I instantly got in full fury mode and I had to tell her "Yeah sure, if im jealous its certainly not of you, with a husband that's an inch far from becoming part of the furniture and thinking about raising ANOTHER child functionally alone"
She called me names and left with my mother behind trying to calm her down, I left afterwards.
My mother has written me saying she does not want me anywhere near her house (I dont live there, she means visiting or talking to her) unless I apologize to both my sister and her husband for what I have said. I have no intentions in doing so. Why doesnt she have to apologize as well for being a witch? Would I be the ah here?

Bit of context of how everything happened here: I recently broke up with my partner of 6 years, it was not a nice break up. My mom has started to date a man 20 years younger than her and invited us over for a dinner to meet him, and by us I mean my sister, my brother and me. There has always been bad blood between my sister and me, long story but we have never been close at all.
I want to make clear that I have not gotten over my ex yet, so regarding my feelings, i might be more sensitive than usual. My sister brought to the table the children topic, that she might want to have another child and stuff related to that. My mom decided to make one of her "spicy" jokes mentioning how she also practices on making children without getting pregnant any more, to which I responded that I found inappropriate what she was saying in such serious conversation.
All of a sudden my sister calls me salty and envious, and says the words that really triggered me "It's not mom's fault he left you for her". I instantly got in full fury mode and I had to tell her "Yeah sure, if im jealous its certainly not of you, with a husband that's an inch far from becoming part of the furniture and thinking about raising ANOTHER child functionally alone"
She called me names and left with my mother behind trying to calm her down, I left afterwards.
My mother has written me saying she does not want me anywhere near her house (I dont live there, she means visiting or talking to her) unless I apologize to both my sister and her husband for what I have said. I have no intentions in doing so. Why doesnt she have to apologize as well for being a witch? Would I be the ah here?

Let me start off by saying I am a classic middle-aged introvert. The older I get the pickier I am about who I want around me so now that I work at home my human interactions are limited. My mom on the other hand is an elderly— people loving extrovert. She is someone who thrives off of lots of interactions with lots of different people and is extremely patient even among people who I consider to be rude. Before my father‘s death, for example she tolerated his bad moods and his verbal abuse. Where as I had no tolerance for his abuse or anyone else’s since then.
Most of my adult life naturally me and my mom have not lived under the same roof, but now we do due to my father death and her being alone in the house that was way too large for just her. The difficulty I am having is that my mom loves to socialize with just about anyone and always expects me to be the social wingman whether I want to or not(some of the people she likes to have over I consider to be somewhat obnoxious, but she constantly says to me you have to find the best in everyone). She invites people over and assumes that I will want to socially interact with the same people. Also when I have told her that doing so often makes me uncomfortable (cringe). She is a typical extrovert in that she does not believe that being an introvert is actually a “thing”. When I say I don’t want to she says that I actually don’t really mean it or she thinks that I am just being plain mean when in fact, I require alone time to recharge my batteries so that I can be available for the people I love-like her.
Just like most families the caregiving of my elderly parent has fallen on one person which is me. I look after her (mobility issues) in addition to maintaining a full-time client facing job and being a full-time pet parent. Very recently, my mom complained that she misses the dinner parties and luncheons that were held in my childhood home I personally absolutely hated because she invited people over for dinner parties each and every week ! Now she has this idea that she would like to have summertime tea parties in her backyard for women in our local area. To an introvert that sounds like a horror show, but I cannot get that across to her. Of course my mom being happy pleases me very much but why is it that so often the things that please her so much send me into a panic!
My mother and I both reside about 3000 miles from my childhood home and we have many family members that still live in the town I grew up in. Recently due to a death in the family we are planning a trip back to my childhood hometown and my mother is already planning all of the social interactions with people and wants to include me in all of them and also expects me to involve her in any of my social interactions on the trip, which will be very limited because the trip I think should be focused on supporting our family member that lost a son.
The thought of having to spend five straight days with my extrovert mother who is planning on spending time with relatives and mostly her friends without having much time to myself alone is sending me into a panic. When I try to explain how this is making me feel my feelings are usually dismissed as being invalid and she makes remarks when I try to explain how this is making me feel—my feelings are usually dismissed as being invalid—-she says “once we get there, you will have such a good time around everyone (she is the one who has a great time with everyone) I want mom to be happy and I want to support my relative that lost her adult son so I am not sure how to approach this. I told mom we really need to go to support our relative that lost her child and she agrees, but she is also calling almost everyone she knows in our hometown to tell them we will be there.
How do I tell my elderly mom that I do not have to be involved with every interaction with every social occasion because I need to reserve my energy to be able to care for myself and her ? Or should I swallow my feelings because after all, I am just being a selfish asshole?

I (F22) have a friend we can fall Max M(21) we started out as co-workers in college (January 2022) Max was in a long term relationship with his HS gf and I had just gotten out of a super toxic relationship. We were purely platonic and in a friend group together. I started dating guys causally and he stayed with his girlfriend often times doing group dates. Everything was going well. Fast forward to August 2022 Max broke up with his girlfriend. I wasn’t seeing anyone at the time and we hung out in friend groups, he was a little flirty and a mutual friend we had (Ashley) would always ask me if I would ever be into Max and would say we would be so cute together. At the time it was so platonic I couldn’t see myself with him at all, he was cute and kind but I just couldn’t imagine myself being sexual with him. I didn’t think too much about Ashley’s comments and I assumed she was just being a typical girl trying to be a match maker. I also didn’t think much about Max’s flirty vibe because he was naturally like that and he had mention he was crushing on a regular customer we had at work. I even encouraged him to date her. And after a while he did date her, it lasted 4 months and he dumped (February 2023) her because it wasn’t going well.
Fast forward to April 2023 I was about to graduate college and move across the country when Max started asking to hang out one on one, we went on three unofficial dates and it finally hit me that he did actually like me, I still did not like him in that way but I hadn’t had sex in about a year and didn’t want to move to a new place with out having had sex in such a long time and being rusty (I know stupid logic) so we started sleeping together and it went from friends, to friends with benefits, to just hooking up and leaving without speaking much really quickly. We did this for a month and half and then I had to move (May 2023). At this point I had finally developed feelings for him but he now only saw me as a sex object (I assume).
His brother lived where I was moving so in July 2023 he went to see his brother and came to see me a few times. I did not treat him too well, I let him sleep over one night and didn’t make him breakfast and kinda rushed him out the next morning, in my defense I was acting like the sex object he saw me as, I wasn’t going to act like a girlfriend and do things he didn’t deserve. (He did Uber 40 minutes one way to see, I don’t think any guy in their right mind would do that for just sex) I then over the course of next year flew home a few times and saw him each time, when I flew home he would take me out to dinner first and then we’d go back to his place. We never texted or talked unless I was flying home and it was only to set up our “date” then we’d go back to never texting.
Then he went to basic training in April 2024. He asked me to write him letters everyday and I did. In one of his letters he sent to me he wrote that if he saw me he would cry, elope, and run away with me. When he got out of basic training it was a complete 360 from our usual behavior , he texted me every day for about 2 weeks and called me a few times. He even sent me a picture of himself and asked me to put it in my wallet. He also asked me to keep writing him letters even though he was out of basic training. He said he would re-read my letters and that they made him so happy, he said thought a lot about me while at basic and after. He was being very flirty again.
Something I forgot to mention: We both have jobs that make us move around a lot and would be difficult to ever be in the same place.
It seems like thing went from him liking me> him treating me like a sex object> back to friends with benefits but only speaking when I flew home> him speaking to me everyday> to now?
The advise I’m looking for is: Does he like me or is it just a typical case of a man playing games and wanting no strings sex ?
Are his intentions pure and this is just a confusing situation?
could this ever work and how would it work?
And just generally what the fuck is going on here?
Thanks Reddit! This is my first post so apologies if it’s long and poorly written!
Real life Max if you read this pretend like you didn’t.

Currently up at 4am with our two month old. Wife was supposed to go out for a local mom's meetup tonight. I was looking forward to having some alone time to catch up on some gaming once the baby was down (she usually goes down around 8pm then wakes up again around 3am for a feed), for the first time since baby was born.
Instead wife had a hard time going to sleep the previous night and decides she's too tired to go out tonight. So there goes my alone time even before baby goes down. Wife asks if it's OK that I still handle baby's bedtime and night feed as that was the arrangement we agreed on had she gone out because she's very tired from the previous night. Of course I say yes.
I get the baby down at 8pm, come downstairs and we decide to watch a movie. Literally 10 minutes into the movie, baby wakes up (literally only the third time in the past month or so that she's woken up after she's down for her night sleep). Wanting my wife to get a proper break as if she had gone out, I go up and spend an hour putting the baby back to sleep. By the time I was done it's pretty much my own bedtime.
Now I'm up doing the night feed, doomscrolling and I see that a "friend" who recently got married and who I helped with getting her marriage documents sorted had a dinner party to celebrate their marriage registration, didn't invite me, despite saying while I was helping her with the marriage documents that her new husband has to leave the country soon after their marriage registration but hopes that I can meet him "next time". Who was there though? My other friend who's the kind of deadbeat dad you see moms ranting about on the mom subreddits. Always out going to his car meetups or parties leaving his wife at home with their kids. Now he's there at the wedding with his wife and kids because they're less strict about their kids bedtime and can actually go out at night. Other friends there are all childless.
I know, stay off social media, comparison is thief of joy etc. Just hard to ignore when you're up at 4am trying to put baby back to sleep an your earphones are out of battery so can't watch anything.
Rant over.