Saltpyre from vermintide insists they are beastman who worship a different god, and while the details in the poem where the skaven are first mention doom of Kavzar is intentionally vague we do know two things.
When all remaining survivors of the disaster in their despair turn to chaos, offering human sacrifices and performing rituals to seek aid from the chaos gods nothing happens… with the screaming bell hinted at being the cause. Shortly after the skaven appear out of nowhere and claim to be the lords of the city and all the dwarfs below are dead with the new skaven lords ruling below in their hold.
Whoever wrote this poem was probably either there or had spoken with the survivors who fled before the very end, so not everyone is being included in this account which may have been altered over the years. What if some of the human survivors had become something else?
Assuming the horned rat didn’t exist before the doom of Kavzar then someone in the poem probably becomes the horned rat and who better than the mysterious grey man who fooled them all? All of Kavzar problems started when he finished the tower with a addition of his own god, himself! (Probably) The events of the poem happen slowly at first with endless rain causing a famine snowballing into meteor showers as more people die from starvation. The screaming bell block the aid of good and evil leaving the horned rat in control?
Imagine this situation the logical answer to your food problems were stealing and cannibalism, which would have the group kick you out so lies and deceit became your trade. Whether it was gradual or sudden chaos infesting the city would have turned you into a form that best represents these traits, a rat.
Ironically these ratman would then really be the lords of the city with the black hunger that makes then ravenous a constant reminder of their sins. As far as ratman are concerned everyone in the city still belongs to them and the dwarfs refusal to help earlier and belief they were hoarding halls filled with food made these new ratman attack them and by the time they appear in the poem have likely killed all the dwarfs and eaten whatever food stores were left.
Some among them were probably chosen by the horned rat hearing his voice perhaps for showing particular cunning or because they held power as lords of Kavzar becoming over time grey seers acting on a great plan, a vermintide! But as soon as the poem ends with all remaining humans dead and eaten no food would have cause a civil war that would have destroyed any accounts made by the ratman on the doom of Kavzar and all their education and technology to be lost as most rats don’t care about history. With the horned rat plans constantly failing due to the nature of a rat… Even the name skaven is likely given to them by other races and since be adopted as if they called themselves anything else it would have soon been lost and forgotten in the constant infighting and civil wars, again most rats don’t care about history.
This is my favourite but not the only possibility, they were always rats in the city, maybe they mutated into bigger rats? Children were born deformed maybe maturing quickly into full grown skaven? But these aren’t as twisted as mine, making the choice rather then the choice being made for you is always more interesting… that the people of Kazar in their vanity to touch the heavens fell literally into a hellhole of their own making!
P.s sry for the length of this post but wanted to clue you in on the key parts doom of Kavzar for those who hadn’t read it I have a post somewhere with the full story! Having the skaven being once human implies even they can be redeemed? It also is a warning that humans are more capable of cruelty than any other race in warhammer… on a bad day….

Hi, I wasn't able to find this guide so here you go. Disclaimer 1: Yup, "nothing new" for game experts here, it's a guide for newbies or those who doesn't remember all the details. Disclaimer 2: Please, read carefully. If it says "don't touch any mobs, just run" it literally means it. Disclaimer 3: This guide is made for Gracia Final with rates x1, but probably is applicable for Epilogue and H5 too.
Our goal here is to complete these ~10 quests as fast as possible, so every detail can be crucial. This guide is made for EO (Elven Oracle), coz it's the easiest and the fastest quest for 1st profession. But it will more or less work for all the races except Dark Elves (DE can make even more money with it's chain of quests, but not that fast).
So, let's start:

1. You've created an Elven Mystic and is standing under the beautiful tree. DON'T touch any gremlins or NPC here, just click on SOE to Kamael Village. Talk to Newbie Guide and now you are lvl 2, congratulations!
   
2. Run to the southern (there is "N" on your minimap in top right corner of the screen, works like a compass) exit. Talk to Marcela and take a quest Supply Check. Visit a couple of NPC in village and now you are lvl 5 with wooden set in your bag. Wear helmet, boots and gloves, ignore BP and gaiters.
   
3. Run to Newbie Guide and become lvl 6. Take buffs and a shadow staff with a coupon. Place spiritshots on shortcuts bar and equip a staff.
   
4. Run to Marcela again and take a quest Head of the Hill. Find a Gatekeeper Ragara on a city square and teleport to Stronghold I. Run to the south, find Green Goblin or Werewolf. Kill them until you receive 1 (one) claw. After you get it use SOE to Kamael Village, go to Marcela to report the quest. In dialogue choose "exchange for Adena" - "Say no".
   
5. Run to Newbie Guide (yeah, again). Talk to him and become lvl 10. Choose "Teleport to another village" - "Elven Village" (Note! If you made another a character of another race on this step you need to go to your home village and complete analogue quest for your race).
   
6. Talk to Sentinel Kendell next to the Gatekeeper. Take a quest Skirmish with the orcs. You receive "Kendell's N order" here N will mean the orc you need to kill. Now go google "kaboo orc map" and find a map with all the numbers. According to that map run to find quest monster you are told to kill. Kill it and use Adventurer's SOE. Speak to Kendell again and that lazy ass sends you to kill another one quest orc, so find the new number on the map run/tp to it and kill. Return to Kendell, report the quest and become lvl 11.
   
7. By the Gatekeeper near go to Talking Island Village. On the central square talk to Newbie Guide - now you are lvl 15. Talk to Elias near to take a quest Cure for fever disease. Go to Gatekeeper and teleport to Talking Island, Northern territory. Kill Giant Spiders till you get Poison Sac. Use SOE, go to church, talk to Priest Yohanes about the quest. Go back to Elias, report the quest.
   

Important! If you had to kill to much spiders or didn't listen to instructions and killed more mobs and now you are lvl 16 - sorry, but you need to die. Nothing personal, but you need to be lvl 15 to go on.

1. Talk to Newbie Guide and become lvl 18. Ask for support magic again. Go to Gatekeeper - tp to Gludin - tp to Gludio. Go to church.
   
2. Talk to Priest Manuel. Learn some skills (at least Weapon Mastery, Armour Mastery, Battle Heal, Wind strike. Talk to him again, take a quest Path of the Elven Oracle. (Again, if you aren't Elven Mystic do the quest you need to get the 1st profession).
   
3. Talk to Gatekeeper - tp to Gludin. Run to Gludin Harbour. You can open in-game map, click "Tracking", choose the quest and it will show you the exact position of needed NPC. Talk to Allana, kill 3 mobs that appear after it. Talk to her again.
   
4. Run to the lighthouse on the hill behind the harbour (map - tracking). Talk to Perrin. Kill the ogre, talk to Perrin again. Return to Allana
   
5. Use SOE to Kamael Village. Go talk with the Gatekeeper - tp to Gludio - talk to Priest Manuel in church to report the quest. Talk to High Priest in church about the first class transfer - Oracle - Change the profession. Learn more skills, if you want.
   
6. Talk to Gatekeeper - tp to Dark Elven Village. Find Carlon in warehouse, take a quest Dwarven Kinship.
   
7. Talk to Gatekeeper - tp to Gludio. Find Haprock in warehouse. In quest dialogue choose "Say you will do the favor".
   
8. Gatekeeper - Gludin - Norman in warehouse, report the quest.
   
9. Gatekeeper - tp to Orc village. In the left wing of the King's Hall Talk to seer Livina, take a quest Walk of Fate.
   
10. Gatekeeper - Schuttgart. Go to Orc Guild, talk to seer Moira, take a quest Ominous News.
    
11. Gatekeeper - Crypts of Disgrace. Report both quests to Karuda. Now you are lvl 21 (if you aren't - kill a couple of monsters there around to become 21). SOE to Kamael Village. Gatekeeper - Elven Village.
    
12. Talk to Sentinel Starden on the western exit, take a quest Legacy of the Poet.
    
13. Talk to Trader Creamees in Grocery Store, take a quest Blood Fiend.
    
14. Gatekeeper - Elven Fortress (not forest). Run into the fortress and in first two rooms kill orcs until you get four poems.
    
15. Now you will need to run bravely and unstoppably through the whole fortress (use healing potions if needed) to the last room to find there quest monster Kinurak and kill it (google the quest to find the way if you are not sure where exactly to run). There are guards near to it but if you stand on the max range from it you should be able to kill it before guards reach you about your expired warranty. After killing Kinurak you can fight guards or die and stand to to village. If you are a great warrior and have won - use SoE. Report those 2 quest ti NPCs you got them from.
    

Now you have +/- 277k Adena. You can sell all the things from your bag to get another ~30k (don't sell EAD, enchant scroll, you'll probably need it later).
Thanks for your attention. AMA if needed.

Hi, I wasn't able to find this guide so here you go. Disclaimer 1: Yup, "nothing new" for game experts here, it's a guide for newbies or those who doesn't remember all the details. Disclaimer 2: Please, read carefully. If it says "don't touch any mobs, just run" it literally means it. Disclaimer 3: This guide is made for Gracia Final with rates x1, but probably is applicable for Epilogue and H5 too.
Our goal here is to complete these ~10 quests as fast as possible, so every detail can be crucial. This guide is made for EO (Elven Oracle), coz it's the easiest and the fastest quest for 1st profession. But it will more or less work for all the races except Dark Elves (DE can make even more money with it's chain of quests, but not that fast).
So, let's start:

1. You've created an Elven Mystic and is standing under the beautiful tree. DON'T touch any gremlins or NPC here, just click on SOE to Kamael Village. Talk to Newbie Guide and now you are lvl 2, congratulations!
   
2. Run to the southern (there is "N" on your minimap in top right corner of the screen, works like a compass) exit. Talk to Marcela and take a quest Supply Check. Visit a couple of NPC in village and now you are lvl 5 with wooden set in your bag. Wear helmet, boots and gloves, ignore BP and gaiters.
   
3. Run to Newbie Guide and become lvl 6. Take buffs and a shadow staff with a coupon. Place spiritshots on shortcuts bar and equip a staff.
   
4. Run to Marcela again and take a quest Head of the Hill. Find a Gatekeeper Ragara on a city square and teleport to Stronghold I. Run to the south, find Green Goblin or Werewolf. Kill them until you receive 1 (one) claw. After you get it use SOE to Kamael Village, go to Marcela to report the quest. In dialogue choose "exchange for Adena" - "Say no".
   
5. Run to Newbie Guide (yeah, again). Talk to him and become lvl 10. Choose "Teleport to another village" - "Elven Village" (Note! If you made another a character of another race on this step you need to go to your home village and complete analogue quest for your race).
   
6. Talk to Sentinel Kendell next to the Gatekeeper. Take a quest Skirmish with the orcs. You receive "Kendell's N order" here N will mean the orc you need to kill. Now go google "kaboo orc map" and find a map with all the numbers. According to that map run to find quest monster you are told to kill. Kill it and use Adventurer's SOE. Speak to Kendell again and that lazy ass sends you to kill another one quest orc, so find the new number on the map run/tp to it and kill. Return to Kendell, report the quest and become lvl 11.
   
7. By the Gatekeeper near go to Talking Island Village. On the central square talk to Newbie Guide - now you are lvl 15. Talk to Elias near to take a quest Cure for fever disease. Go to Gatekeeper and teleport to Talking Island, Northern territory. Kill Giant Spiders till you get Poison Sac. Use SOE, go to church, talk to Priest Yohanes about the quest. Go back to Elias, report the quest.
   

Important! If you had to kill to much spiders or didn't listen to instructions and killed more mobs and now you are lvl 16 - sorry, but you need to die. Nothing personal, but you need to be lvl 15 to go on.

1. Talk to Newbie Guide and become lvl 18. Ask for support magic again. Go to Gatekeeper - tp to Gludin - tp to Gludio. Go to church.
   
2. Talk to Priest Manuel. Learn some skills (at least Weapon Mastery, Armour Mastery, Battle Heal, Wind strike. Talk to him again, take a quest Path of the Elven Oracle. (Again, if you aren't Elven Mystic do the quest you need to get the 1st profession).
   
3. Talk to Gatekeeper - tp to Gludin. Run to Gludin Harbour. You can open in-game map, click "Tracking", choose the quest and it will show you the exact position of needed NPC. Talk to Allana, kill 3 mobs that appear after it. Talk to her again.
   
4. Run to the lighthouse on the hill behind the harbour (map - tracking). Talk to Perrin. Kill the ogre, talk to Perrin again. Return to Allana
   
5. Use SOE to Kamael Village. Go talk with the Gatekeeper - tp to Gludio - talk to Priest Manuel in church to report the quest. Talk to High Priest in church about the first class transfer - Oracle - Change the profession. Learn more skills, if you want.
   
6. Talk to Gatekeeper - tp to Dark Elven Village. Find Carlon in warehouse, take a quest Dwarven Kinship.
   
7. Talk to Gatekeeper - tp to Gludio. Find Haprock in warehouse. In quest dialogue choose "Say you will do the favor".
   
8. Gatekeeper - Gludin - Norman in warehouse, report the quest.
   
9. Gatekeeper - tp to Orc village. In the left wing of the King's Hall Talk to seer Livina, take a quest Walk of Fate.
   
10. Gatekeeper - Schuttgart. Go to Orc Guild, talk to seer Moira, take a quest Ominous News.
    
11. Gatekeeper - Crypts of Disgrace. Report both quests to Karuda. Now you are lvl 21 (if you aren't - kill a couple of monsters there around to become 21). SOE to Kamael Village. Gatekeeper - Elven Village.
    
12. Talk to Sentinel Starden on the western exit, take a quest Legacy of the Poet.
    
13. Talk to Trader Creamees in Grocery Store, take a quest Blood Fiend.
    
14. Gatekeeper - Elven Fortress (not forest). Run into the fortress and in first two rooms kill orcs until you get four poems.
    
15. Now you will need to run bravely and unstoppably through the whole fortress (use healing potions if needed) to the last room to find there quest monster Kinurak and kill it (google the quest to find the way if you are not sure where exactly to run). There are guards near to it but if you stand on the max range from it you should be able to kill it before guards reach you about your expired warranty. After killing Kinurak you can fight guards or die and stand to to village. If you are a great warrior and have won - use SoE. Report those 2 quest ti NPCs you got them from.
    

Now you have +/- 277k Adena. You can sell all the things from your bag to get another ~30k (don't sell EAD, enchant scroll, you'll probably need it later).
Thanks for your attention. AMA if needed.

Hi again!
A couple days ago I asked for some advice about what to expect at Mass. Thank you all so much for responding, I got more answers than I was expecting and everyone was so kind. Well, I finally did it! I went to the Pentecost Vigil and now I can't stop smiling! I wasn't raised religious but the few times I did go to church I was extremely uncomfortable. I always felt un-welcomed because all the Protestant churches I've ever been to always make you stand up if you're new and everyone looks at you and you usually have to fill out a card with all your personal information. But the impression that I got when I first watched the St. Patrick's livestream Mass was that it was a lot more welcoming environment. I was really nervous since I was alone and I've never been to church by myself before but the more the Mass went on the more comfortable I felt (especially since they had printed programs so I could read all the responses. I have the Apostle's Creed memorized but not the Nicene). The only thing that caught me a little off guard was the Penitential Rite and the music was more modern than I was used to. Also, I wasn't expecting the collection basket but luckily I had a dollar on me (is it passed around at every Mass or just for special ones like this one? And is it bad if you don't put anything in?) Luckily, I wasn't the only one who didn't take communion which made me feel better. I also noticed a couple kneeling during the entire Eucharist presentation (is that what it's called?) Is that a standard thing to do? Anyway, I'm definitely going to keep going through the summer but I'm moving to go to grad school so I'm not going to join or ask about RCIA yet. And there was also some holy water by the door and I kid you not, as soon as I touched it, all my doubts and nerves dissipated! Wow! Definitely the best church experience I've ever had. 🙏

No one yet knew how long we lived, but still did they prepare me for a life-long journey. Cheeses and fruits fresh-picked did Our Mother gather to sustain me, and Our Father stowed in woven sacks grain to keep my strength, heaving and strapping barley on our beast's broad back. I looked outwards at the sun setting in its westerly nape, weak in th'numbness of heavy sentence new-laid, when a force struck at my thighs and grasped around my waist. My stomach was in th'dirt, my mouth fined with dust. Above me I saw looming our first father, rock in ready hand, pinning me to th'ground as he raised up his arm to Heaven in twisted invocation, something sick and wicked crinkling in his eyes. Waiting for tight- held stone to shatter my brow, the seconds stretched as centuries, but death stood still. Looking up, the stone and arm that held it sat limp on Adam’s knee as he rose with heavy breath. He reached down his hand, as though to help me rise up to my feet. I held doubts.
"I won't kill you, boy,"
he softly said. after a moment, I took his hand and he then hoisted me upwards. As he spoke he started dusting blotches of earth from my robe.
"No, I won't kill you. It's not a father's place to inherit from the son. I'll let you wander. Let the world do its bloody office. Pity your brother, that he bleeds the fields. Pity your mother, that she mourns two sons,"
his gaze finally meeting mine,
"the better one and you. Don't pity me. As man you bear my shape and name, but you're no son of mine."
His piece then said, he went toward where worm-food Abel lay interred. Ever watchful was Eve. A look half-mad lingered about her eyes as she stood in grief-mute stupor. Maybe by Abel's blood was she made deaf. No matter. I grabbed the halter, starting on my lonesome, weary way. Cresting the hill that would forever stand as sentry between me and home, I couldn't help but look back. There were th'fields from youth I'd tilled. I saw the altar where we made offerings to th'Potter, th'olive tree I had watered with brother's blood. In the midst of it all I saw Our Mother, still where I left her, looking at me. I waved meekly, my arm meeting my side almost as soon as I raised it. She was unmoved. With wavering breath, I turned toward my portion. East had He bid me. East would I then go.

I had an idea a few weeks ago for a poem about Cain after he kills Abel, so that's what this is. I'm a four books into what I think is going to be a five book piece. Just wanted to gauge folk's interest, and would definitely appreciate any constructive criticism. Thanks in advance for reading this monstrosity.
https://www.reddit.com/OCPoetry/comments/1cv3ihc/comment/l4n8uh8/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
https://www.reddit.com/OCPoetry/comments/1cupdbh/comment/l4neah7/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

4 years together. 2 living together. I loved him. He didn’t feel the same way I guess. 18 days since we’ve broken up no contact.
fuck you for not answering me. fuck you for leading me on. fuck you. fuck you for getting that one last fuck in. fuck you for letting me believe we were still gonna be friends. fuck you for being okay. fuck you. fuck you flr never defending me. fuck uou for everything you did during the relationship. fuck you. fuck you. i was never going to be enough for you. i was never going to be what you so dreamed of. no matter what i was never going to be it for you? you were it for me. fuck you for pretending like you loved me. fuck you for letting me believe a lie for years. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you for not moving to Victoria. never ballsy enough to end it but to let me live in misery. fuck you for being miserable with me. fuck you nathan. i hope one day you see this and think about how much you miss me. i hope you think back and realized that i loved you so hard and raw. i hope you realize what you did. i would’ve never slept with you or stayed with u for that night knowing you had no intention of continuing it. fuck you. fuck you. you let me believe you still loved me. you let me have hope for having you in my life. fuck you for everything you did. fuck you for letting me love you. fuck you for the way you handled this breakup. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you for never being there for me. fuck you for letting me cry myself to sleep next you to after i got diagnosed. i made you dinner after i got literal chemo. i had spots on my brain. you didn’t even hold me after. you were not there for me. you let me sob and didn’t even look me in hen eye. fuck you. fuck you. i tried to be a cool girl with you. I will never be cool enough. did i ever mean anything to you? was i just a body to keep you company? how can you just be fine? fuck you for wrecking my college experience. fuck you for pretending to love me. how could you love me and still be okay? fuck you for not wishing me a happy birthday. fuck you for never being vulnerable. fuck you for letting me believe i was worth anything to you. fuck u for becoming this twisted villain. i wish i could go back and erase you. i wish you never dated me. i would never have to feel like this. i would never have to be this alone. fuck uou for not trying. i begged you to love me. i begged to be enough. i sobbed to you BEGGING for a change. i beg and beg and beg and you never verbalized anything. i made you love letters, playlists, poems. i planned our future. you played video games. i am pretty, fun, funny. i am kind. i am a good person, and you destroyed me. do you hear me telling you that? you wrecked me. you took my spark and ate it. you took my beauty and stomped on it. you never said or with your words but your actions. i was worthless to you. i wasn’t even worth making dinner or a date. i wasn’t worth dinner to you. I would’ve been your wife. I would’ve been your wife. I would’ve been your wife. do you hear that? i would’ve started a life with you. actually, i did! i derailed my life for someone who couldn’t even make me fucking dinner. do you feel like a man now? do feel like one of the boys now? fuck you. how can i be friends with a man that so blanatly doesn’t care about me? respect me? did you ever? and now you’re gonna go on and paint me the villain, but i think we both know how hard i loved you. remember when i asked you if you thought we were soulmates? you said you didn’t believe in soulmates. neither did i but my love for you was so intense i started too. your love for me was so dull you can just throw me away. i fell so madly in love with you for so long and you thought i was just fine. i was nothing to you. i was just to keep you company? better than being alone? the most sick and twisted part is i do wish you the best. i want you to live a good life and fall in love and feel so much love. i want you to be okay, just wish you could’ve missed me like i miss you. if only for a little while i wish you couldve loved me like i loved you. i want you to have a wife and kids and the life you deserve, i just wish it could’ve been me. i wish i could’ve been enough for you. you loved me like a first love, but you weren’t my first, just my best. this was puppy love for you, but this was soul crushing intense love for me. you’re never supposed to read this, so if you are i on a whim decided to send it. you can take it however you want. you can paint me however you see fit, but just so you know i loved (love) you. i still crave your skin, your mind, your hair. i think i might forever. you hurt me. you hurt me so deep. i feel used. maybe im angry, or depressed, or maybe i just feel disgusted by how much of myself i gave you. you told me we would continue to see each other after (if only to be friends, or maybe more) but you looked me in the eyes and promised we would still see each other, so we had sex. so i continued to be vulnerable with you. but you never intended to stay friends with me or continue hanging out. you just wanted one last fuck. we had sex better than we have in months. is it because you knew it would be the last time? when you dropped off my stuff you kept the car running. im not even worth it to stop a minute? im not worth a hug goodbye? im completely worthless to you. you never even listened to the playlist i made you. how could i expect you to love me? how could i expect you respect me? how could i expect anything at all? i don’t know how to be a person anymore. you never looked at the posts i sent you. you never wanted to go out. you never wanted me. you never wanted me. you never wanted me. i don’t understand how you can just be ok. im sick to my stomach. everytime something happens i just want to call you. i just want to hear ur voice. i just want to see your face. i know you never want to see me again and it’s so hard. the worst part is i don’t hate you at all. i love you so much. why didn’t you love me? how am i ever going to be okay again? how am i ever going to live with this constant pit in my stomach. how can you not want me back? how can you possibly be ok right now? why wasn’t i good enough for you? how are you still laughing and being funny and having a good time? why didn’t you wish me a happy birthday? why don’t you miss me ? why don’t you miss me? why don’t you miss me?

Hey guys, I know this is a long shot but I saw an Instagram reel today with a woman reciting a poem about motherhood. The theme was "I carry your weight."
At first inside her belly,
Then rocking in her arms,
Then cuddling beside her,
Then carrying the weight by throwing in the air,
Then when she could no longer carry the weight of her child, she said she holds the weight in her heart.
Obviously she did a much better job than me but you get the gist. I can't find it anywhere and I would really like to know who wrote it and the name. It was so beautiful that it made me cry.
Thank you for any help!

Tissue
Polysemous title- Tissue • Tissue- paper + skin (human life is fragile [criticises arrogance, encourages us to protect]) • Also paper (not alive) + skin (alive)- criticises monotony of life, not really living • Tissue paper- found in bibles and holy texts, but fragile (overinflated importance of identity causing wars and discrimination, really it’s very fragile and identity isn’t real, we’re all just people (tissue as in skin)) • Tissue- used to wipe away tears, togetherness can reduce suffering • Tissue- medical term for deep skin- poem shows deeper nature of humans and our potential for goodness, can be wounded and damaged by outside influences but can always heal
"Paper that lets the light shine through, this is what could alter things" - reference to religious texts paper, light as Jesus and Allah (power of religion) - or coexistence with nature (Dharker is a Muslim Calvinist)
Enjambment- freedom, lack of control of humans, rejecting constraints
Free verse- same thing
"Let the daylight break through capitals and monoliths" - power of nature, criticism of authority, weakness of humans- “break” violent personification, destroying authority, daylight + break = sunrise + hope
"The sun shines through their borderlines" - nature overcomes human segregation identity, criticism of war, power of nature) sibilance shows power, “their” still shows separation, criticise that
"fly our lives like paper kites" - childish metaphor, mocking control of money over life (criticism of authority)
"the back of the Koran" - “the” repetition shows importance, “back” shows it is hidden/shunned by society, still holding onto identity
"Transparent" - repetition, criticism of dishonesty of authority
Exposure
"Merciless iced east winds that knive us" - personification of wind shanking people (first line not about war but nature- more significant) (power of nature)- subtle sibilance (just as dangerous as bullets but most people don’t realise)- Germans were in the east, but the only thing from there is wind
ABBAC rhyme, structure is built only to be taken down (tension of soldiers expecting fight but let down)
Pararhyme- unsatisfying for reader, reflects how the soldiers are always nervous but never get to chill
“What are we doing here?” Rhetorical question to criticise authority, or actual question to show PTSD confusion, can be asking what they are DOING or why they are HERE
"For love of God seems dying" ok 1. The soldier's love of God is dying 2. God's love for the soldiers is dying 3. To show love of God, you should die
"forgotten dreams" - juxtaposition, loss of hope, forgotten dreams on purpose to be less sad? war made them forget? “forgotten” disassociated from PTSD, “dreams” as happiness from the past that seems unreal
“a dull rumour of some other war" reference to the Bible and Armageddon, metaphorical end of the world for the soldiers be suffering "sudden successive flights of bullets streak the silence" - sibilance represents sound of bullets, jolting reader out of relative lack of noises, feel like soldiers
Epistrophe "but nothing happens" cyclical structure, stuck in suffering
“we” “us” “our” collective pronouns, shared experience, comradeship, loss of identity, relatable to all soldiers
Kamikaze
Title- single word, only military rank- only seen as a kamikaze pilot by others
Structure- 6 lines per stanza but free verse and lots of enjambment- conflict between control and freedom (military/social expectations/duty vs love for family/nature/memories/life)
Constant shifts between first person and third person- disconnect from family due to shame
“Her father embarked at sunrise” -sunrise as power of nature + Japan’s military flag- conflict
“a shaven head full of powerful incantations” -incantations are deliberately vague- orders from military? prayers? inner conscience against it? It’s “powerful” tho and influences him, and it’s “full” showing his distress, shaved head like most kamikaze pilots
“green-blue translucent sea” beautiful imagery, “translucent” shows how things are unclear but getting clearer- nature helps him decide what to do
Describes fishes “like a huge flag”- patriotic semantic field shows brainwashing, but reduces as the poem goes on, simile shows how he is starting to disconnect and change his mind,
also as “a figure of eight”- shows thoughts of pride and prosperity-
“The dark shoals of fishes/flashing silver as their bellies/swivelled towards the sun” - • sibilance shows ocean noises and beauty, “dark” -> “flashing silver” things get brighter and easier to see- knows what to do thanks to nature • “Silver”- medals he would have gotten for being a kamikaze pilot, but true reward is in nature • “Sun”- represents beauty of nature and also Japanese flag- conflict but now there’s also nature in the mix • Belly up- death on his mind
“bringing their father’s home safe/-yes, grandfather’s boat- safe” repetition of “safe” shows reason to come back- wants to return to family, memories
“a tuna, the dark prince, muscular, dangerous.” • first mention of danger = power in the whole poem, danger to the mission as it causes the pilot to have doubts, true power is in nature and memory • First full stop in the poem and lots of commas- makes us stop and think like the pilot about what he’s abt to do
“laughed” “loved” at the end of the poem- all in past tense- nothing left for the soldier
“we too learned to be silent”- “learned” should be positive but contrasts with what they learnt- criticises how they were taught shame by the older generations- but it’s said in first person, the daughter is criticising this and teaching her children not to think that way
Poppies
Title- honours and grieves dead soldiers, short single word title shows full intent of the poem and how the mother’s life is consumed by grief
Dramatic monologue- emphasis on the domestic impact and how the soldier isn’t present in the poem
Free verse, enjambment- chaotic, lack of control over the son, distressed
Domestic + military semantic fields- life has been ruined by war
“Spasms of paper red, disrupting a blockade of yellow bias”- mix between war + domestic • “spasms” and “red” is injury and pain- mother is worried or is hurt by letting go (spasms is involuntary muscle action- involuntary letting go), • “paper” is the fragility of the son • “blockade” is military language showing her worry abt the conflict, how she wants to “block” her son from going into the military • “disrupting” the fabric - the son becoming a soldier disrupts the peace or she is trying to disrupt him from going to war
“The dove pulled freely against the sky, / an ornamental stitch”- dove represents peace and grief- she and her son is at peace with death, “pulled freely” is an oxymoron- inner conflict with grief or letting her son go, the comma shows a pause to reflect on the grief, the “ornamental stitch” metaphor for the mother (pretends to hold it together)
“I was brave”- takes down ideas of just the soldier’s bravery but also the mother’s, but past tense shows current weakness from grief
“Sellotape bandaged around my hand” • Bandage shows wounds • Sticks them together one last time- cat hairs are removed, no more reason to stay • Claustrophobic feeling- stuck in the domestic role, can’t go and protect the son
“Blackthorns of your hair”- religious connotations of Jesus on the cross, sacrificed for the country- metaphor for the son
History Boys
"Enemy of education" war metaphor and alliteration, opposition between true understanding of literature and grades only used shallowly “Cheat’s Visa”
"a fact of life" indisputable and unchangable, in opposition with Irwin's views on history (truth does not matter to him until now?)
Drummer Hodge: Intertextuality, Tom Hardy (the poet) represents Hector, sympathising with the ordeal of the youth, Drummer Hodge represents the Boys, thrown into the chaos of life without proper guidance
"She's my western front" war metaphor objectifies Fiona, personal pronoun further expresses how women were seen as objects to be owned
“... all the other shrunken violets you people line up" [you people] segregates gay people, [shrunken violets] derogatory language
"Some of the literature says it will pass" looking to literature for solace and comfort during a sexuality crisis
"All literature is consolation" Dakin changes his mind on literature symbolising him changing to Irwin's side. No need to look for solace in literature when he can pursue Irwin
Parallels with "all knowledge is precious" from Hector - A.E. Housman, one of the first intertextualities and used in the intro to establish his character
“cunt-struck” “a cunt”- Mrs Lintott repeats the colloquialism “cunt” twice, to describe Dakin as “cunt-struck” and Headmaster as “a cunt”. This is the hardest swear in the play and is used show that it wasn’t a slip of the tongue, and to break down stereotypes of women being gentle and passive
“history is women following behind with the bucket” - her big scene about women in history at the end of the play (which is typical for Alan Benett’s plays such as “Kafka’s Dick”) so it would be recent and stay in the audience’s mind when the show ended
Irwin intro as politician in the future "etc., etc." while talking abt freedom- that man gives no fucks about freedom really, just waffling on (first impression for the audience too!!)
Parallel with Holocaust debate- Lockwood uses the SAME EXACT PHRASE while talking abt how the holocaust was bad, (dismissiveness of mass genocide? in this education system? it’s more likely than you think) then goes on to argue that they should be unique with their arguments- Irwin passed on thr mindset even on such an important subject
Hector is set up to be looking cool and all (motorcycle scene dramaticness, greek name connotations, fav teacher) but is absolutely uncool when we get to know him- purposeful? "studied eccentricity" and all. clinging onto youth?
Posner is actually rather helpful as the "dictionary person" bc i doubt the audiences know what "otiose" means
SCRIPPS IS THE MOST RELIGIOUS ONE AND CLOSEST TO POSNER it can dismantle the idea that religion is against queerness
Irwin didnt know how nietzche was pronounced bc from what we know of him he would call Dakin out on that

I'm going to try to translate those top comment from Hupu for MSI, I might skip some of them as they are Chinese internet memes that I've no idea how to translate, and those comment related to Honor of Kings, a popular league like mobile game made by Tencent.
The rating is user poll generated, you can give a rating between 2 and 10, and average is used. A total of 725k people participated in this series' rating.
Hupu rating is an in APP feature so it doesn't really have a link, but here is the post match thread for the match, and on the top there is an link you can click on that get you to that page. link

MATCH 1: BLG vs. T1

Bilibili Gaming

	Player Rating	Top Comment
Bin Twisted Fate	9.8	This is our BLG's double marksman!
Xun Xin Zhao	8.3	Good tempo, but what give you the confidence to so steal blue by yourself?
Knight Taliyah	9.7	This game Trist kept getting fed kills, while you are the one controlling the tempo of the game, and give all the kill to your teammates, you are the true MVP of this game.
Elk Kalista	3.7	This game just treat Kalista like Tahm Kench.
ON Renata Glasc	9.6	"I didn't say you could go, did I?"
BigWei	5.5	Don't ban Nid against Gen.G but ban it against T1, are you drunk?

T1

	Player Rating	Top Comment
Zeus K'Sante	6.0	I often think what if Sang-hyeok brother is 10 years younger.
Oner Sejuani	3.8	Tarzan: I logged on.
Faker Tristana	2.8	Hey bro, maybe you should go tryout for the Old Guy Cup.
Gumayusi Senna	3.6	That herald in the baron pit, directly give BLG a way to go in, pure comedy.
Keria Nautilus	7.9	Looks a bit red from player cam.
kk0ma	3.4	Kenzhu: I'm going to keep picking Neeko next game.

MATCH 2: BLG vs. T1

Bilibili Gaming

	Player Rating	Top Comment
Bin K'Sante	8.9	So weird, you are the most in form, but bot lane is getting the highest priority.
Xun Wukong	3.5	You the only one pick Wukong this whole MSI, and last time you tried you got giga gapped, why pick it again, J4 and Xin would be so much better.
Knight Neeko	8.6	Not your fault, same like last series against Gen.G, bot feed a lot of kills and then blame you invisible.
Elk Varus	2.6	You were not human in any of the recent games.
ON Kalista	2.7	If you keep playing like this, I'm gonna go watch KPL.
BigWei	2.7	BigWei and rest of the coaching stuff come out and face the flame, why are you so focused on strong lanes, didn't you learn. Don't waste so many ban for mid, just tell left hand be more confident and pick a tempo champ, don't always think about laning. Pick some engage champ like Naut, Rell, Alistar, Camille for On, Xun could pick carry jungle like Nid or Kindred if there are engage already, else just pick J4, Sej, Maokai, Wukong. Bin watch out for Zeus last pick counter pick, don't be cocky, BLG fighting, please win this!

T1

	Player Rating	Top Comment
Zeus Camille	8.7	Using the T1 formula, if Zeus can carry, this game will be a stomp.
Oner Sejuani	8.7	You tempo is so good, so why are you kept picking Viego.
Faker Akali	7.1	Dude, what use do you have? I mean seriously, you are not really useful.
Gumayusi Draven	9.3	Why kept picking me Senna, am I weaker than them?
Keria Ashe	7.4	If you didn't ult the real Wukong, that last fight will turn out different.
kk0ma	6.8	No difference compared to Ham. (Laker coach.)

MATCH 3: BLG vs. T1

Bilibili Gaming

	Player Rating	Top Comment
Bin Twisted Fate	9.9	Fine red wine glitters in a jade chalice that glows in the night, next card will be a ace of heart. (The first part is a famous Chinese poem "葡萄美酒夜光杯", and the second part rhymes with that in Chinese.)
Xun Xin Zhao	9.2	That flash for flash at top was so critical, as a Yasuo main I felt the pain.
Knight Annie	9.8	Knight: Yagao, I don't know what to do. Yagao: ZhuoDing, maybe its time for Annie.
Elk Senna	9.5	WE.Jiumeng, UP.ELK, BLG.Husband is fighting for control of the body, husband is winning right now. (past name and nickname for Elk.)
ON Ornn	9.7	Gift a kill when fountain diving, champion at karma.
BigWei	7.7	Wow, did you just first pick Senna? (This was a 1 star rating comment, probably made right after the draft.)

T1

	Player Rating	Top Comment
Zeus Yasuo	2.5	Come duo with me, I'm silver, my username is weird top. (It is the name for a steamer 霸哥 that is known for been bad，farming under tower, and possibly using 3rd party software to cheat.)
Oner Nidalee	2.8	Oner: Nidalee, I don't know what to do now. Nidalee: What, who are you again?
Faker Zac	2.8	This Zac pick is like a summary of T1, once Faker dies, four turd pop out.
Gumayusi Kalista	2.8	So you are really an egg, either fried egg, or egg drop soup. (Those are dishes in China, and dish is called 菜, which also means bad when used in league.)
Keria Nautilus	2.9	OP
kk0ma	3.1	Kenzhu:Hmm, did you reuse your old password? 1557, such an easy password.

MATCH 4: BLG vs. T1

Bilibili Gaming

	Player Rating	Top Comment
Bin Twisted Fate	9.6	Tried your best.
Xun Vi	2.4	Fully responsible.
Knight Corki	7.2	When Chovy's Corki had an advantage, his teammate didn't decide to int.
Elk Varus	3.5	You finally got you condition under control, your jungler's is acting up again.
ON Nautilus	6.6	OK I guess, the support Naut is the only one that could face check.
BigWei	3.2	Xun's Vi, Elk's Varus, game is GG at BP.

T1

	Player Rating	Top Comment
Zeus K'Sante	8.0	Showmaker.jpg.
Oner Viego	8.5	Oner: Viego, I don't know what to do now. Viego: Who are you? Oner: I'm Zhao "JieJie" Li-Jie, don't turn around to look.
Faker Aurelion Sol	6.5	Head scratcher, inted at least 4 times.
Gumayusi Senna	8.3	Your ult is so clutch, so many key shields.
Keria Ornn	8.1	I upgrade based on age, Zeus sad :C.
kk0ma	6.0	Kenzhu: You still haven't change your password yet, I get to pick Senna and Asol again.

MATCH 5: BLG vs. T1

Bilibili Gaming

	Player Rating	Top Comment
Bin Camille	9.9	Best top in the world, LPL's pride, you deserves it!
Xun Xin Zhao	7.6	Your entire purpose this game is to facecheck.
Knight Neeko	9.7	Watching you whole game, you were laughing the whole game.
Elk Senna	9.3	I think I kinda get LCK's love for Senna now, and your Senna last year G5 against Gen.G, maybe Senna is actually good.
ON Ornn	9.8	Everyone is even before Letme.
BigWei	5.7	So dumb, I guess you've made enough money and want to retire, how did you BP like this?

T1

	Player Rating	Top Comment
Zeus K'Sante	2.8	Now you really became Bin's son.
Oner Viego	2.6	Viego: Wait, your are not Zhao "JieJie" Li-Jie, byebye.
Faker Taliyah	3.2	Faker, now its time to wake up from the sweet dream.
Gumayusi Varus	2.8	A kid came to T1, his Varus is flying. (A copy pasta for TheShy, original one is something like: A kid came to WE, his Riven is flying. It was an compliment, but in this case Guma's Varus was literality in the sky.)
Keria Nautilus	2.6	That flash hook clone is a bit cringe.
kk0ma	4.1	Password too hard, let me try other side's.

“Leaving is not enough. You must stay gone. Train your heart like a dog. Change the locks, even on the house he's never visited.
You lucky, lucky girl. You have an apartment just your size. A bathtub full of tea. A heart the size of Arizona—but not nearly so arid.
Don't wish away your cracked past, your crooked toes. Your problems are papier mache puppets you made or bought because the vendor at the market was so compelling you just had to have them.
You had to have him. And you did. And now you pull down the bridge between your houses, you make him call before he visits, you take a lover for granted, you take a lover who looks at you like maybe you are magic.
Make the first bottle you consume in this place a relic. Place it on whatever altar you fashion with a knife and five cranberries.
Don't lose too much weight. Stupid girls are always trying to disappear as revenge. And you are not stupid.
You loved a man with more hands than a parade of beggars, and here you stand. Heart like a four-poster bed. Heart like a canvas. Heart leaking something so strong they can smell it in the street.”
from “Frida Kahlo to Marty McConnell” by poet Marty McConnell
I came across this powerful poem and it deeply resonated with me. I wanted to share it here because I believe it encapsulates the journey many of us are on, navigating the complex dynamics of relationships with ex-partners who have BPD.
"Leaving is not enough. You must stay gone. Train your heart like a dog. Change the locks, even on the house he's never visited."
These lines are a clear reminder that stepping away from a damaging relationship is only the first step. The real challenge lies in staying away and protecting your heart from being pulled back into a cycle that might be harmful. It talks about creating a safe space, even if it means metaphorically changing the locks in your life.
"You lucky, lucky girl. You have an apartment just your size. A bathtub full of tea. A heart the size of Arizona—but not nearly so arid."
This passage celebrates the new life you've crafted for yourself. It's a testament to the strength and resilience you possess. Despite the vastness of the love you can give, it's crucial to ensure that this love is directed towards mending and enriching yourself.
"Don't wish away your cracked past, your crooked toes. Your problems are papier mache puppets you made or bought because the vendor at the market was so compelling you just had to have them."
This calls for acceptance of your past and imperfections. When people regret their choices, I like to say that no one wakes up and makes a list of ways they're going to fuck up their life. What became problems today were like impulsive purchases we made back then.
"You had to have him. And you did. And now you pull down the bridge between your houses, you make him call before he visits, you take a lover for granted, you take a lover who looks at you like maybe you are magic."
It acknowledges the irresistible pull we felt towards our pwBPD but advocates for setting and enforcing boundaries. It highlights how essential it is to be with someone who truly values you.
The poem concludes with a reminder to cherish your existence and not let grief or revenge overshadow your worth. It encourages us to transform our scars into symbols of resilience.
I hope these words bring some comfort and inspiration to everyone here ❤️

Mastering the Repetitive Beauty of the Triolet**
Summary:
A triolet is a short poetic form with eight lines, typically characterized by a specific rhyme scheme and repeated lines. The first, fourth, and seventh lines are the same, as are the second and eighth lines. This creates a rhythmic and melodic pattern within the poem.
Examples:

1. "A Triolet" by Christina Rossetti.
   
2. "Triolet on a Line Apocryphally Attributed to Martin Luther" by A. E. Stallings.
   
3. "Triolet" by Robert Bridges.
   

Tips for Creative Writing:

• Choose a Captivating Refrain: Craft a refrain that can be interpreted in multiple ways.
  
• Explore Emotional Layers: Use repetition to emphasize different emotions with each iteration.
  
• Mind the Syllabic Count: Maintain a consistent syllabic count for each line.
  

Questions for Exploration:

1. How does the repetition of lines contribute to the triolet's impact?
   
2. Can you think of everyday situations or emotions that could be beautifully expressed through a triolet?
   

Additional Resources:

• Explore triolets by French poets from the 17th century for historical context.
  
• Read contemporary poets like Mary Jo Bang for innovative approaches to the triolet form.
  

Creative Writing Prompt:
Step 1: Choose a theme or emotion for your triolet.
Step 2: Craft a captivating refrain that encapsulates the essence of your chosen theme.
Step 3: Develop the narrative or emotion within the remaining lines, incorporating the refrain.
Example: In twilight's embrace, shadows softly fall (A) In twilight's embrace, shadows softly fall (A) A dance of darkness, a poetic sprawl (B) In twilight's embrace, shadows softly fall (A)
Remember: The triolet's concise structure offers a canvas for exploring depth within brevity.

This will be rambling as I’m typing this quickly on mobile without thinking it through, so patience please.
What the title says. As a writer I was curious what these voice memos sounded like— especially as my cousin who is a huge Swifty has told me my iPhone notes app to finished product pipeline is apparently very similar to Taylor’s process, according to her.
I was only able to find the “Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me!” voice memo and… it’s literally the complete finished song? Not a first draft at all. I don’t think any of the lyrics changed, the composition was all the same, just un-produced… it’s the finished, most polished version of the song that can possibly exist without the production., in fact.
And it’s bullshit. A complete and utter fabrication. A masterpiece she put hours into and then told the world it was simply a “doodle”.
The creative process isn’t easy— and sure, the more you write, the quicker and better your editing becomes. You edit while you write, even , once you’re worth your salt as a professional. Still, as a published and paid writer (poetry, opinion pieces, marketing material, white pages, short fiction, website copy, songs… you name it, I’ve been paid to write it at some point, even if on a small scale), my Notes app doesn’t have a single finished product in it. Even poems that were written entirely in Notes change a little when transcribed to a Word document— the page changes, and so the distribution of lines and appearance on the page does as well. It sounds stupid and fickle, but it’s the truth. But Taylor’s poetry? Perfection, apparently, instantly in her notes as if she’s only capable of finished products.
Or, as many have theorized— she didn’t edit this album at all.
I don’t know what I expected; I knew artistic integrity was likely a very lofty goal for her, but I decided to check because maybe, in the pursuit of the “tortured artist” label, she would release a real first draft— something messier, more raw, with lines that changed later. Something that revealed the artistry step she took to make the final record. Alas, she could never stomach the shame of artistic misunderstanding that might result. It’s why her metaphors are… well, hardly metaphoric, to be generous.
This is why you don’t release drafts. They aren’t supposed to be pretty or make sense. They’re supposed be redlined and crowded out in the margins by frantic notes and ideas, a testament to the artistic vision overtaken by the polished thing that emerges only at the very end, lifting itself out of the scramble of scratched out words once all the hard work of editing, of murdering darlings, has been done. I love all of my drafts, and I keep the marked up and co-edited versions for times when my creativity lacks. I can go to those pieces and see, on paper, the ways they changed for the better— I can access my process even in times it’s lacking. I am inspired by my own past messiness, the weak lines and word choices because a long time ago I internalized the humility needed to make truly great art.
I don’t know what I expected— I was genuinely shocked that her fans care about these fake “first drafts”. These glorified, lazy acoustic versions of her apparently always-perfect, never changing art.
She wouldn’t last a day in the workshop where they raised me, that’s for sure.
Can anybody confirm if this is how all of the notes drafts are?
Edit: Also, another thought. I think this really bothers me because the artistic process is what artists are taught to be afraid of— it’s where we’re the most judged, made to feel the most ashamed of our pursuits. Non-artists read drafts or look at unfinished canvases and judge, often vocally, the unfinished work without any consideration of how tumultuous a process that can be in pursuit of an unrealized, unknown end goal. So how is the biggest “artist” in the world making a falsehood of the most precious of parts of artistic pursuit without so much as a thought?
Other artists learn to grow protective of this process because of its fragility, its rawness, its necessity. She just chose to abandon the rest of us to the wolves and lie about what that actually looks like, and its feels like a sacrificial betrayal for me.
View Poll

Title says it all!
So about me, I’m a huge horror fan, it’s basically my life. This includes movies, books/poems, and art/photography. (Take guess which time of year I like most)
I read a lot and I’ll watch any show or movie once. Give me your recommendations!
I love memes a lot lol. I have thousands I’ll gladly share if you ask.
VC would be cool but is kind of awkward at first for me. But movies with friends would be dope asf.
I hope to talk to new people and learn about you!
P.S. if you guessed a tie between Christmas and Halloween, your correct 😂😂

My Dad is bringing up a very important word,
"No"
Actually, I think that was his favorite word.
I had a great habit of using it when I was under his roof. What he said is usually what happens first. He was the head of the house and the leader of his own reality. When he was intoxicated or not, what he saw and thought in his mind came to life, even when it never took place in real time.
Why did I give him so much respect when he clearly was showing me toxicity in our relationship at home?
He pretended to be a person of high stature when we are in public. No one would have guessed his bad habits with substances at home and the way he acted behind closed doors. When I reached out for emotional support at school or church, I was mostly shunned by anyone that listened to my story. They taught me that my feelings were wrong and asking for help gets me in trouble. When I told my mom anything, she was busy at work and came home tired. She trusted everything my father would tell her and I got in trouble for speaking out for his behavior. I was kept at home and if anything that could get me out of the house was already planned to be declined if I asked to do anything.
It was hard to please anyone at this point.
I kept my room spotless and vacuumed everyday, just so my dad couldn't say no and tell me to clean my room if I had a friend standing next to me wanting to hang out.
I had one friend in my life that saw my father for who he really is and he scared her pretty bad. He chased me to her car when I was trying to leave my house, he was on oxy at the time. My friend hesitated and kept the car in the driveway and told me to go do what he said. I wanted her to drive as fast as she could away from him, because he took the battery out of my car and I couldn't leave to be with Suz.
Well, after that incident, I lost my friend. She told her parents what happened and she broke all contact with me and stopped talking to me at church. Rumors went around and her mom I sang with on stage started to be disrespectful towards me.
I learned a valuable lesson that day....
When you feel safe enough to speak out and let someone see your true self, you scare people away.
When I trusted someone, I was abandoned when they saw my life for what it is.
The truth was hard to swallow and I had to stay around my father regardless of trying to find help in some form of way I felt heard. I tried to be emancipated, I went to church and sought out resources, I researched about how to prevent suicidal tendencies, I was speaking to a child psychologist. I was working on being more respectful towards my parents, but when my dad got high and made up stories to be angry and attack me. I had no way to protect myself and prove that it was just my father being an addict going through a psychotic episode.
This is why the Lord forced me into psychology.
I didn't want anything to do with it! (Working in a psych ward.... It sucked.)
Suz was the first person to really allow me to learn how to understand it with her version of explaining reality. She is a psychic medium. A very good one! She was very outspoken, rude and funny.... I can take the hard criticism. Nothing amounted to the trauma my father already caused me to feel. I survived high school band.... My director was exactly like my father and I was verbally abused at school by certain individuals.
I kept it all to myself and I planned very strategically my way to "heaven". I kept a journal on purpose for someone to find later. I wrote about everything I was feeling and how I was being treated, my poems, other interesting facts about spirituality, death and dying.
Suz taught me how to have a "book of shadows"..... Well, she is a witch..... It shouldn't be scary when I say that, she was a very proud "light witch". She only worked for the good of humanity. Christianity shuns such practices, but it really is part of the culture before religion became a thing. She taught me so many things that my Dad made me swear I would never get involved in.....
My Dad went into psychology after he decided he wasn't going to be a pastor. His past marriage was a major roadblock for him that he lost faith in God and didn't feel it was right for him to lie on stage to other believers when he wasn't being honest about his own walk in faith anymore.
A divorce would literally kill my soul. I can't imagine what betrayal feels like until you promise your life in vows to someone and it doesn't work out....My Dad made sure to show me that marriage is a special connection and I had to be very cautious who I accept as my spouse. I never forgotten how important it was for him to see me with the right man, but he was so overprotective, he never allowed me to learn how to date or even go to a school dance.
I blame the drugs for interfering in our relationship as a family. My Father was a very smart man, until he took a pill, shot up, or drink... My dad worked in anesthesia, he knew how to mix his own concoction and by pass the system to get his fix. He was forced to retire don't worry, but his knowledge to get drugs was phenomenal all that he knew about medicine.
It really sucked that he knew psychology and ways to manipulate people to get what he wanted. He was a very skilled hypnotherapist on top of that. My family is the result of a head narcissist raising more products of himself.
If you see my family now, we are estranged for good reasons, but they still hurt me personally. I really tried to keep us together after my father passed away, but the rest of my family chose to ignore my advances to keep in contact. I'm not even invited to the family reunions.
It's okay, because we have a lot of family history of incest and "S.A." and I understand why we are not invited.... I know a lot of things about our family after my father passed away. I know why he turned to be a pastor and then went in psychology to help himself and others, but then he lost his way and turned to drugs to mask his pain. The enemy stepped in and my Dad gave into his weaknesses..... He tried and he fought hard. Even when he attacked me my whole life. I still sat there and listened to him and I was forced to listen and not leave the room, but then God showed me to talk back to my Dad.....
So, I started to read more about the Bible and relate to him.
That's why I went to church...
I went to church 4 times a week to get away from the house, but to also just understand why I want to end my life and know that I would go to heaven if I actually tried it.....I was worried about my Mom and how my actions would affect her, she was a big reason why I stalled my plans and then my Dad had this wise idea to get me to work at a mortuary. Told me to walk into one and ask for a job.
Crazy how I jump topics all of a sudden, but this is how my Dad and I got along with each other. Weird and comical. lol
If it wasn't about music, it was about spirituality. I was into a lot of death related shows because I was suicidal. If you remember any of these, they came out around the time I was in high school.
Six Feet Under
Dead Like Me
Dr. G Medical Examiner
1000 Ways to Die
Ghost hunters
Crime Scene Clean Up Crew shows.
I would walk in the dining room while he was chillin in his hospital bed. Watching Finding Big Foot.
"Hey DAD! check this out."
It was a nice distraction to his day. It brought up his own fears with common daily interactions because of my odd obsession with the topic of dying.
My father at this point in his cancer diagnosis, he was on something they call,
Palliative care.
My mom explained to me that it means he was going to die. Lovely how blunt my mother is, but that's how she said it without sugar coating it....
But it was in a way it would be under his terms. My father at this point died once while receiving radiation therapy. His heart stopped and was revived. When he woke up angry and violent towards at the medical team. He yelled at my mom that he was ready to "go". So, after that incident he got the right person to sign him up for his new journey to his death.
That was a weird way of telling you what palliative care is, but that's how I found out and understood that he had a "DNR" to his name after that incident. Sometimes he was in a hospice home for a few months to give us a break at home dealing with his drama.
My Dad was surrounded by death, so it made me really research death and dying very deeply. I was afraid for anyone to see the books I read because they were about taboo topics you shouldn't see a teenager obsessing over. Death and dying, crossing over, letting go of loved ones, suicide survivors, decomposition of human remains, the death process, how a body is embalmed, what medical examiners while cutting open a corpse.
Then I got into the spiritual side of things that involve the devil and crossing over. How to avoid walking back towards hell when you are deceived by dark forces. How to fight your inner hell and not be trapped in that mindset when you are passing away.
I would have the craziest dreams after learning about these topics. But in a weird way, all I wanted to do was sleep to escape my reality. I would talk to my Dad about the stuff I found about those topics and it helped him be closer to me as a father. Something my little brother doesn't understand and ridiculed about me when he criticized my relationship with him. He had his own way to being with Dad, but my way, was with deeper meaning and serious topics. Stuff only Dad and I knew what that meant. It wasn't supposed to make sense to my mom or brother the special talks we had when he was in pain laying in bed.
I showed my Dad the other side to life....
I helped my Dad not be afraid to die, and do it with dignity and strength.
I helped my Dad understand that his addictions didn't ruin our connection as father and daughter and that I wanted to forgive him for his past before he died. He really appreciated my understanding that the drugs turned him into a different person, but inside of him, God was always there. My father told me, because of me, I allowed him to find love for God again and he was closer to his Mom because I showed him to not be afraid of my friend Suz.
That my friend wasn't evil and she taught me so much about angels and spirits, he was learning about them because I had the best mentor in the world. She helped me find my relationship with my Dad, that brought me to be closer to God and because I learned about God in a metaphysical way, I helped myself grow in my own understanding to where I wasn't going to end my life.
I found a reason to live even through the pain of watching the enemy run through my family and take away everyone and everything that means something to me.....
(I would like to post this, but I know it's not ready. I have so much to say and I know my story will help someone else not be afraid.)
I am still writing my story.
This is the book I was supposed to write about....
The one about death and dying.
Not about my background in psychology.
*That is a message for someone else. hint hint... That is your topic to write about. I hope you receive that message with understanding and go forth wisely. You asked me to remind you, so I am, quietly...
I am working with others in a way the Lord leads me.
It takes up my energy from writing and I have to prioritize what is more important. When it comes to someone's transition. I feel led to help someone cross over. I've done this since I was a child. No one taught me to understand how I do this. I also dream about meeting certain individuals and speak to them about life and death, God allows me to remember my dreams and I share them with the people it is about.
Most times, God will send people to talk to me and then I learn about them dying or having a terminal illness that is difficult to get through. That is where I am reminded of my life with my father and my jobs in the medical field and bring up all that I learned about death, dying, spirituality, religion, crossing over, eastern medicine, etc....
Then I become friends, or we have nice conversations that are very engaging and healing in general. I am later told that I have helped them in some way and they are happy to have met me. Then my dad shows up in my presence and shows me how I am doing what I am supposed to and to trust my gut feelings from now on. He promised me when he was alive, he was always going to be by my side and teach me about life.
Now I finally understand what he meant by that and I now that I know how to
"Listen with my HEART"
That is how he spoke to his mom before he crossed over. I taught him how and he was able to go deeper with it since his soul was ascending and leaving the physical body. The dream state plays a big part of crossing over and communicating with loved ones. That is where my gifts come into play. I am sensitive enough to feel him and learn his lessons that he encourages me to write it all down.
I'm not the writer I wish to become yet, but as long as it's getting out there for someone to find, that's all that matters.
Don't forget to realize that we are all dying. Don't allow your diagnosis or reality to have you feel stuck in misery until you die. Don't allow the pain and confusion to stop you from gaining understanding to the karma you're experiencing.Being a medium for me has been traumatizing, because I had to earn my way to understanding. I had to experience hell in order to seek solitude and want to create peace with my sanity and not let the forces around me cause me to go insane. I went "within" so I can heal my trauma and know what triggers me to thinking about the negative side to things.
That is all the enemy fighting with you spiritually.
When we die, we lose our vessel, not our spirit.
We are the spirit having the human experience.
This isn't forever.
Thank God for that!
Pain does end, but learn what the pain wants to teach you about life around you. You will help someone else with your story when you're meant to cross paths.
Everyone in your life is there to teach you something.
Are you ready for the lesson?
Are you ready to understand your lesson?
So, it's crazy how I end up writing these posts, but they are all for a reason that I don't understand right now, but I'm doing as I'm told.
I'm not afraid of death, I'm not afraid of anyone stalking me because I speak of life in a way no one else has, because this is my story.
I don't know why I wrote it this way before I got here.
My destiny, I mean.....
I know my purpose now and of all the things I pushed away in my life, God forced me to go back into it and learn more about myself. The things I didn't want to face and be reminded about my Dad.... I just want to live my life in peace. I didn't want to think about my past love, but I meet people that remind me of my life back home and that person in particular.....
So, it's all hitting at once. It's a slow process, my father has been gone for 11 years now. I'm getting the hang of it now...... Writing this isn't a race for me, the lessons are exciting to finally understand why I went through them, but again.... Time helps me explain things better when I see it in a different perspective. I couldn't have accomplished that goal until I went through the pain and worked on my character to change my outcomes to my problems. I had to change myself first.
I hope those that are part of this journey with me understand that I am only putting out there tools to help them succeed.
I'm not going out of my way to create another trauma bond or narcissistic injury towards anyone. I love them very much and I want them to work on themselves and gain abundance correctly, not with the use of black magic and occult practices.
That's another story for another day. Suz wants them to know that she was in my life to warn me about my lessons in my future, but I can't run from them. I am here to learn lessons and teach others how to learn theirs.
That's all this is about.
Life is a stage, how do you want to play it?
I choose to grow and allow myself to see the positive to where I feel the emotion of bliss, love, joy and acceptance of all things coexisting together.
I be back soon,
I hope you have a nice weekend.
<3,
Tina,

Hey fellow gamers (again)(again)(again)(again)(again)(again)(again)(again)!
I am a 16-year-old (human) gamer. I love Futuristic and Sci-Fi games. Cyberpunk seems like a dream come true in this regard. Futuristic and cybernetic game? Sign me up.
The description of the game is awesome: "an open-world, action-adventure RPG set in the megalopolis of Night City, where you play as a cyberpunk mercenary wrapped-up in a do-or-die fight for survival. Explore the dark future, now upgraded with next-gen in mind" Now that sounds absolutely insane. I first heard about it when I heard a song about it. My favorite song artist (Miracle of sound) made several songs including the City of Light) about this game. I have also played a bit at my friends house and found it amazing.
Story: Following an economic collapse sometime during the early 21st century, the United States is forced to rely on large corporations to survive. These corporations deal in a wide range of areas, such as weapons, robotics, cybernetics, pharmaceuticals, communications, and biotechnology; many of these companies operate above the law. The game follows the story of V — a hired gun on the rise in Night City, the most violent and dangerous metropolis of the corporate-ruled future. A robust character creator will allow players to choose V's gender, visual appearance, as well as historical background — all of which may influence the shape of the game.
The story sounds super cool with the choose your own adventure feel to it. However this is not all the game offers. Stunning visuals are a major plus. seeing all the colors of Night City down to the metallic gleam of cyber-ware is mind-boggling
I have always dreamed about having powers and super abilities, and this is the closest I can get to it.
I wrote a short poem about the game:
Blinding lights and endless colors,
Glass towers reaching to the sky,
The possibilities are endless,
And you can damn near fly
There is infinite things to do
Be who you want to be
So many choices to make
Further than than a Kiroshi (eye replacement) can see
Shining metal covering the people,
Cyber-ware replacing natural skin,
His story has just begun,
And V is the most free he's ever been
Cyberpunk came out with a new update and DLC and I'm thinking this is my chance.
Can someone please help me achieve my dream of being the ultimate net-runner?
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561199100245964/
I thank you all in advance, for reading this.

To this day, your tears still haunt me
Your bitter voice still taunts me
Drifting in your boundless eyes
Ears still ringing from your voiceless cries
OH! I remember the days of old
How I fucked, How I whored
Your memories invade me like an incessant hound
I have searched and searched but nothing is to be found
I catch glimpses of your shadow when no one is around
I have dug your grave and lowered you into the ground
I wasted my life in pursuit of the euro and pound
But now I have gone blind and deaf, and I hear no sound
I was thin and small and weak
When you found me by the creek
Now I am a giant
And people call me a freak
When I was a thief and full of strife
You saw in me only a missed life
Pressed against my neck. a serrated knife
You took it away and became my wife
OH! you are an angel made of the purest light
Your eyes are blue, your skin the purest white
I have done many wrongs and I wish I could set them right
For you I lived, For you I still fight
I am rich now but what am I to do with all this money
I miss your laughter, OH! it was sweeter than honey
A bastard from the middle east
Subhuman, a feral beast
Cocaine was my food and heroin my feast
A living zombie, nearly deceased
You are gone now but I am still here
This world is cruel and so very unfair
Are you in heaven or are you in hell
I guess only time will tell
Is there an afterlife or just the endless dark
Rest assured though, you certainly left your mark
THE WORLD IS ENDING
THE ANGELS ARE FALLING
THE DEMONS ARE CRAWLING
AND YOUR VOICE IS CALLING
Calling...... me.........
First of all, thank you for reading my poem. Secondly some context. I have random flairs of creativity and I just write a few lines without knowing where it's going or what is the theme or anything like that. This is what happened to me when writing this. After a few lines, I knew that this poem was about an old man who in his younger days used to be a thief and all-around bad person. However, after finding his lover and wife, He became happy. This poem is written through the perspective of this old man after his wife's death.
I am quite new to poetry, and this is one of the first long poems I have written. I would love to hear any critiques you have. Also, what did you think the poem was about before reading the context. I hope you enjoyed my little poem and thank you for reading it. I hope you have a nice day!

I don't know why I had trouble finding this sub earlier. With Abuse locked, and AITA excluding violence, I wasn't sure where to go for more perspective and advice. I swear I still remember calling the Domestic Abuse hotline and being told how their services and advice are more geared towards Spousal situations... but I also remember the first time I called them, after being recommended them by my work ERP, and how all of the symptoms of what I'm going through point directly point towards an abusive situation.
This is hard to work through, so I'm gonna just repost something I already posted in /AITAH. But I'd be happy to post any additional information; I'd do just about anything to get through what I'm currently dealing with.
I'm about to be 33 years old, male. I'm adopted since birth, and I've lived my whole life with my family so far. I have clinical depression and chronic anxiety, to the point of extreme intrusive thoughts and That kind of ideation.
My parents both come from horrible families themselves. Going into the military was a blessed relief for each of them from what I know of their pasts. They met each other, got married, and eventually adopted my siblings and then me.
Mom is a fixer. And regardless of everything that happens, I love her. She has always had my back, always been in my corner, always bent over backwards or fought for me. When I was younger, we used to struggle a bit here and there in regards to some moments, but once we realized how badly the entire family had been ignorant in regards to mental health, and started trying to be willing to talk about our different perspectives while being civil, our connection has never been stronger. Or at least I'd like to say that, and I'd like to keep it that way.
The man who I will keep calling Dad, for lack of a better term... is not the worst man in the world. He paid for things growing up. He's present for a decent amount. We had some bonds over video games and dragon ball and godzilla. There was love there. And Mom has made it clear that love is still there, at least from her point of view. She says he's gotten better, and the problems aren't as frequent, true.
But for me, the negatives have started eclipsing the positives in my memory. Particularly as my problems started manifesting while I struggled with life, and my opinions stopped being so simple. Particularly politically, where they come from a different time, and I couldn't be more opposed to them.
With Mom, we can still talk and honor each other's right to have differences.
With Dad, because of his past and mind, he doesn't do well with opinions that don't match his own. Even when he's being civil, he'll give politician type answers to yes or no questions while never addressing the point. It makes him insufferable to talk to. And he hates being challenged. He gets shouty. He gets angry. He gets threatening.
I'm 6'2, 260lbs of mix between fat and muscle, with 2 permanent injuries and struggling with fitness. He's taller than me, a veteran, a former prison guard, and can still weight lift like double his weight in his old age.
When we've had disagreements, he gets terrifying. Looming over me while yelling with his deep voice; that's his go-to, but sometimes there's violence. Folk needing to wrestle him off me. Him punching me in the face. Chasing me down a hill while I was in crutches and on the phone. Busting down my barricaded door and screaming at me, then holding my dog (18 long years, RIP) by her neck when she (a rescue in and of herself) got between me and him and started barking at him.
The last time Mom and I talked, she mentioned that I shouldn't still be holding these against him, both that it's not good for me and because the relationships would never mend, particularly that I'm not blameless in regards to family drama. But I've never hit anyone. I've never threatened to kill anyone, regardless of the invasive voices. I've never said "I"M GONNA SQUEEZE THE LIFE OUT OF YOU" while pressing my elbow into someone's neck, over a literal quarter.
I sincerely could be being too sensitive about this. It could be me not remembering enough of the good, and still being too bothered by the bad. Mom mentioned me hurting folk as well, so it's not like my emotional outbursts are that much better than his, even if I'm actively trying to deal with mine with antidepressants and trying to acknowledge and understand my behavior, and trying to avoid touchy subjects in general to help keep the peace.
Mother's day 2024; I come downstairs, read Mom a poem I came up with, and small talk is made. Eventually Mom jokes to me and my sister (who I also find troubling to talk with because she can be bitchy at times, though never to the point of intimidation and violence) that we should have married for money, not love, so that we'd have an easy life. I reply that I could never do so, particularly because I'm too ugly to do so, and the conversation shifts to recent therapy and my mental health, to which I say I have to battle with my lack of confidence every day.
To which Dad says "[my] problems are [my] choice". To which I start getting heated in the moment, and tell him "No, you're wrong." We both repeat, louder. He assumes his 'rearing Grizzly' stance, yelling "I'M NOT GOING TO ARGUE WITH YOU!", and after Mom tries to use Mother's day to coo him down, makes another scathing comment from the kitchen that I could hear.
I go upstairs, and when Mom follows me, I try to talk about other things. But she's determined to ask me if I hate him. I keep trying to dodge, and beg her not to push me into answering, to which she just confirms the unspoken and walks off.
Fully triggered, I try to leave before I make things worse, but when Dad tries to ask me not to go, I tell him to Fuck Off before just driving. Apparently while I was gone, he punched and broke a door in his rage that he still can't connect to me. And when Mom went to buy a new door, their truck hit a pole. And then when I come back, and she tries to talk to me, I scream at her. (I couldn't handle being told "Oh, it's okay. I don't deserve a mother's day because I didn't birth any of you.") Best. Mother's. Day. Ever.
While I was gone, the family called me almost 30 times. I wanted to leave, to de-stress, to get this venom in my arms to settle, to not lash out. I ended up calling multiple emergency phone numbers to try to vent. And I tried to go to the arcade to vent. Invasive thoughts about stabbing a family member? Terrible. Thoughts of shooting zombies for a few hours? Much better. But I couldn't at all relax and distract myself as Mom and sister wouldn't stop calling me.
Next day, Mom and I try to talk again. With her wanting me to find forgiveness and peace, even as I both despise him for these lows, and myself for this guilt I feel about the family dynamics. And we fail to reach a resolution, with her depression and my own only making each other worse. Thinking I wouldn't be allowed to leave the house to cool-down, I go upstairs, max out my music, and scream. A bit of floor slamming, but largely screaming as much as I can, to try force out the venom I can feel inside me. Understandably, Mom came up to stop the noise. Unfortunately, that noise was the only think suppressing my worst thoughts, and the feel of venom in my arms. Fortunately, Mom came back quick enough that my first (and hopefully only) scars are largely scratches that will fade. If anything, her pulling the work knife out of my hand nicked those fingers even worse. And understandably, even as her former Marine tried to force more conversation that day, I just remember feeling defeated inside. I contact as much of my support group as I can muster, take a sick day, and go to sleep.
Next morning, my therapist calls me, and we talk. And I share all of my feelings. All of this. Unfortunately, the appointment was later in the morning than normal, family were up and about in the living room, and I didn't realize they were basically all just listening. And they heard. Every. Word. Everything of this. Apparently I reduced Dad to tears, let alone offending everyone else.
For the second time in multiple days, I thought I was going to get kicked out. Mom did offer me my own place, but being trapped with my mixed feelings would make that a complete waste of money and effort. I'm basically just not on speaking terms with the family, and I feel like a Pariah.
To the point where after crying about it for an hour at work, I eventually sucked it up, called Mom, asked Dad to be on speaker, and suggested family counseling, at an attempt at an olive branch.
But isolated in my room away from everyone else (to the point of not even showering, eating, and largely not even touching my computer), and then at my next day of work, I've had time to think. Think about how these lows still keep happening. About how the schism between me and the family has always been growing politically. How previous therapists, emergency numbers, friends, coworkers, and the domestic abuse hotline, all say it's a cycle of (unintentional) abuse. How as is, I wouldn't take back like 90% of what I expressed because it feels true. How he also used to blow up on other people as well. How his senselessness can lead him to yelling at a 2nd Rescue Dog that barks too much. Or sending pictures of Tarantulas to a cousin with extreme mental illness (think drugs in the womb type mental troubles) as just casual texting.
But I also still feel guilty. Even with personality, interest, and political opinions differing, they do still try to care. I've been with them all my life. And it makes me feel horrible when they help by trying to cook or clean or anything, when the interpersonal relationships are so low.
And as much as I reflect on the lows being so unbearably low with him, I can't pretend they've been not as frequent, nor that I grew up 1000x better than how they did. My problems are first world as all hell, and plenty would kill to be as privileged as I am. This can not be understated. I don't think it justifies his behavior, but to say that it makes sense is at least fair.
And I want to stay connected, at least to Mom. And even if my sister and I don't have a really personal feeling relationship, I like being the cool uncle to one of my nephews. Teaching him about video games and sonic and dragon ball has been great. I don't want to let that go.
And as bad as his worsts have been... others don't even have their families. And others still have been hurt even worse by family, or outright thrown out by now, and similar...
I keep having these crying episodes. I'm struggling with mixed feelings of love and hate, indignation and guilt, and I don't know how to proceed from here.

Current:
Patrick Weekes, Lead Writer: Writers Mass Effect: They wrote several side quests, including Citadel: Family Matter and Presidium Prophet.
Additional Design Dragon Age: Origins
Writers Mass Effect 2 and Writers and Manager on Lair of the Shadow Broker: They co-wrote Miranda, and I believe also Garrus, co-wrote Liara during LOTSB. They wrote Tali, paraphrased Thane's romance dialogue, and contributed writing to other characters. They also contributed to the ending content for the game.
Senior Writer Mass Effect 3: Alongside John Dombrow, they assisted Lead Writer Mac Walters in managing the rest of the writing team. They co-wrote From Ashes and served as Senior Writer for Leviathan. They were also the Senior Writer Manager, working with John Dombrow as a co-lead (Basically) on Citadel. They wrote Kasumi, Tali, Mordin, Jack, Traynor, Joker, and Jondum Bau, and co-wrote Legion. Additionally, They wrote Liara's conversation with Matriarch Aethyta and Priority Eden Prime. They co-wrote Priority: Tuchanka and wrote Priority: Rannoch.
Senior Writer Inquisition, Lead Writer Jaws of Hakkon, Consultant The Descent, Lead Writer Trespasser: They wrote The Bull's Chargers, Cole, Krem, The Iron Bull, Solas, and Svarah Sun Hair. They also wrote the majority of Here Lies the Abyss.
Lead Writer Canceled Project Joplin DA4
Dragon Age Finaling Team Mass Effect Andromeda: Wrote several note texts.
Short stories: Dragon Slayers, Glass Beads, I Am Looking for a Book..., Why the Elders Bare Their Throats, When She Grows a Soul, Injure the Corners, Release the Knot, Shepard Off-Duty and Unleashing the Flyers of L
Comics: They co-wrote the story for Mass Effect Homeworlds #2 with Mac Walters.
Books: They are the writer of the Rogues of the Republic Trilogy, which consists of The Palace Job, The Prophecy Con, and The Paladin Caper. They also wrote Dragon Age: The Masked Empire and contributed to The World of Thedas Volume 2. Additionally, they served as both writer and editor for Dragon Age: Tevinter Nights, writing Three Trees to Midnight and The Dread Wolf Take You. They also wrote the novel Feeder.
John Epler, Franchise Creative Director since January 2022, formerly Narrative director until December 2021:
Prior to joining Bioware, he spent several years volunteering for various fan sites and dabbling in the modding community for various games.
QA Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood
Term Testers Dragon Age: Origins and Cinematic Designers for Witch Hunt
QA Story Team Mass Effect 2, additional QA on Normandy Crash Site, Zaeed - The Price of Revenge, Firewalker Pack, Kasumi - Stolen Memory, and Overlord.
Cinematic Designers Dragon Age II, Cinematic Designer The Exiled Prince, Cinematic Designers on Legacy and Mark of the Assassin
Cinematic Designers Dragon Age: Inquisition, Lead Cinematic Designer on Jaws of Hakkon and Trespasser: Working with the animation team, he worked to remove the race-gating on Iron Bull's romance
Dragon Age Finaling Team Mass Effect Andromeda
Animation Systems Designers/Storyboard Supervisor for Anthem
Executive Producers Dragon Age: Absolution
Books: Writers Dragon Age: Tevinter Nights, wrote The Horror of Hormak and Half Up Front
Sylvia Feketekuty, Senior Writer:
Writers Lair of the Shadow Broker: Wrote Feron and Glyph, wrote Liara from the beginning of the DLC until the scene after the defeat of the Shadow Broker, and wrote a few lines of her dialogue after that.
Writers Mass Effect 3, also the Resurgence, Rebellion, Earth, Retaliation, and Reckoning Multiplayer Expansions: Wrote Glyph, Liara, and Samara. Also, she wrote the final version of Kallini: Ardat-Yakshi Monastery, wrote Rannoch: Admiral Koris and Geth Fighter squadrons, contributed to much of the content on the Citadel, including various quests, the refund guy, and various other background material. she also co-wrote Legion.
Writers Dragon Age: Inquisition, also on Jaws of Hakkon and Trespasser: Wrote Josephine, Champions of the Just, and the final versions of Before the Dawn and Under Her Skin.
Writers/Narrative Designers Anthem
Short Stories: The Flame Eternal
Comics: She co-wrote the story for Mass Effect Homeworlds #4 with Mac Walters.
Books: Writers The World of Thedas Volume 1-2, Writers Dragon Age: Tevinter Nights, wrote Down Among the Dead Men and Luck in the Gardens
Sheryl Chee, Senior Writer:
Writers Dragon Age: Origins, also co-writer for The Stone Prisoner, Return to Ostagar, and Awakening, and the writer of Golems of Amgarrak. Writers Witch Hunt, Wrote Cullen, Dog, Leliana and Wynne, as well as Oghren, Sigrun, and Velanna during Awakening. Also wrote the Magi Origin, Broken Circle, and the Urn of Sacred Ashes.
Writers Dragon Age II, also on Legacy and Mark of the Assassin: Wrote Isabela and All That Remains
Writers Dragon Age: Inquisition, also on Jaws of Hakkon and Trespasser and writer for the Multiplayer: Wrote Blackwall, Leliana and the multiplayer characters
Writers Mass Effect Andromeda: Wrote Vetra and Suvi
Writers/Narrative Designers Anthem: Wrote Mathias
Short Stories: Isabela, Minrathous Shadows
Books: Writers The World of Thedas Volume 1-2
Brianne Battye, Senior Writer:
Assistant Writer Leviathan credited as Additional Design
Writers Citadel
Writers Dragon Age: Inquisition, also on Jaws of Hakkon and Trespasser: Wrote Cullen
Writers/Narrative Designers Anthem
Short Stories: The Next One, Won't Know When and Each Minute Closer
Books: Writers The World of Thedas Volume 2, Writers Dragon Age: Tevinter Nights, wrote Hunger and The Streets of Minrathous, and the writer of wholehearted (poetry collection)
Poems: Short Poems
Former:
Lukas Kristjanson, Senior Writer until September 2023 laid off:
Lead Writer Baldur's Gate and the Tales of the Sword Coast expansion: Wrote Minsc, Jaheira, much of the main story and main campaign, and many of the side quests Also contributed manual editing and compilation.
Writers MDK 2
Designers and core design team for Baldur's Gate II: Shadows of Amn and additional design on Throne of Bhaal: Wrote Jon Irenicus and also contributed manual writing/editing.
Designers, Core Design Team, Manual Writers and additional programming on Neverwinter Nights
Designers Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic: Wrote parts of Taris, Manaan, and Korriban, much of Tatooine and Kashyyyk, and also contributed manual writing.
Lead Writer, later Co-Lead on Jade Empire.
Writers Mass Effect: Wrote Kaidan and Joker, co-wrote Kirrahe, wrote Feros, and co-wrote Virmire.
Writers Dragon Age: Origins, and the Writer of Leliana's Song: Co-wrote A Paragon of Her Kind
Writers Mass Effect 2: Wrote Jacob and Joker, contributed writing to other characters, wrote Joker's Mission on the Normandy, contributed to the game's ending, and advised Dusty Everman in the writing of the non-companion NPCs on the Normandy.
Writers Dragon Age II, also on Legacy and Mark of the Assassin: Wrote Arishok, Aveline and Carver
Senior Writer Dragon Age: Inquisition: Wrote Sera, In Your Heart, and several codex entries.
Writers Mass Effect: Andromeda: Wrote Liam
Comics: Co-wrote the Baldur's Gate promotional comic.
Short Stories: Aveline and As We Fly
Books: Writers The World of Thedas Volume 1-2, Writers Dragon Age: Tevinter Nights, wrote Callback and Genitivi Dies in the End
John Dombrow, Senior Writer left in August of 2023:
Writer Universe at War: Earth Assault
Petroglyoph Studio staff on Panzer General: Allied Assault
Writer Overlord
Senior Writer Mass Effect 3: Alongside Patrick Weekes, he assisted Lead Writer Mac Walters in managing the rest of the writing team. He co-wrote From Ashes and served as Supervising Writer for Leviathan. He were also the Senior Writer Manager, working with Patrick Weekes a co-lead (Basically) on Citadel. He wrote Wrex, Garrus, Javik, Padok Wiks, Wreav, Eve, and Victus. He also wrote Liara during From Ashes and contributed writing to Kai Leng and The Illusive Man. He wrote Priority: Sur'Kesh, co-wrote Priority Tuchanka, and wrote Priority Thessia. Additionally, he developed the initial Grissom Academy mission and wrote the first draft. He also edited Garrus and Javik.
Senior Writer Bioshock Infinite: Burial at Sea
Writer Telltale's Game of Thrones Episode 3 and additional writing on two of the other episodes
Writer and associate producer Mytheon
Writers and later co-lead for Mass Effect: Andromeda following the departure of original lead writer Chris Schlerf: Wrote Prologue Hyperion, Planetside, and the Salarian Ark Mission.
Senior WriteNarrative Designer Anthem
Short stories: Ruins of Reality
Comics: He co-wrote the story for Mass Effect Homeworlds #3 with Mac Walters and the story for Mass Effect Discovery
Books: Oversaw the development of the Andromeda novels.
Films: Production Assistant Sliver, Writer Control Factor, Screenwriter Deadly Swarm
Writer and developer The Sixth Extinction (Unproduced
Writer original screenplay The Hills Run Red
Films: Production Assistant Sliver, Writer Control Factor, co-screenwriter Deadly Swarm. Also, writer and developer The Sixth Extinction (Unproduced). Additionally, wrote the original screenplay for The Hills Run Red.
Left to go join Sucker Punch Productions as a Senior Writer
Mary Kirby, Senior Writer until September 2023 laid off:
Writers Dragon Age: Origins: Wrote Cauthrien, Sten, Loghain, much of the Qunari lore and the Chant of Light, and most of the Landsmeet.
Writers Dragon Age II, also on Legacy and Mark of the Assassin: Wrote Merrill and Varric
Writers Star Wars: The Old Republic: Wrote the companion conversations for Fideltin Rusk
Writers for Dragon Age: Inquisition, also on Jaws of Hakkon and Trespasser: Wrote Varric, Vivienne, and In Hushed Whispers
Writers/Narrative Designers Anthem: Wrote Max
Short Stories: Merrill, Varric and The Wake
Books: Writers and editors The World of Thedas Volume 1, writers Volume 2, Writer for Dragon Age: Hard in Hightown
Courtney Woods, Writer left in February of 2020:
Prior to joining Bioware, she worked as an Editorial Intern at DC Comics for 3 months and as a Contributing Writer at Newsarama where She specialized in video game journalism, including previewing and reviewing video games and related projects. She provided written and photographic coverage of pop culture conventions such as Star Wars Celebration V, New York Comic-Con 2010, and E3 2011
Community Coordinators Star Wars: The Old Republic also on the Rise of the Hutt Cartel and Galactic Starfighter expansions. Lead Community Coordinator on Galactic Strongholds and Shadow of Revan. Writers on Knights of the Fallen Empire
Co-writer The Descent
Writers Mass Effect: Andromeda: Wrote Lexi, Reyes and much of Kadara
Senior WriteNarrative Designer Anthem
Books: Writers Dragon Age: Tevinter Nights, wrote The Wigmaker Job and Eight Little Talons. She also contributed to the Development of the Mass Effect Andromeda: Nexus Uprising Novel
Left to work on the Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic as the Lead writer left in September of 2022
Currently a Senior Writer as Sucker Punch Productions
Arone Le Bray, Narrative Quality DesigneAnalyst left in April of 2021:
Contact Testers Jade Empire: Special Edition
QA Term Testers Mass Effect
QA Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood
QA Analysts Dragon Age: Origins
QA Story Team Lead Mass Effect 2, additional QA on Normandy Crash Site, QA Zaeed - The Price of Revenge, additional QA Firewalker Pack, QA Kasumi - Stolen Memory, and Lair of the Shadow Broker.
Additional QA Star Wars: The Old Republic
Content Analysts Mass Effect 3
Analysts Dragon Age: Inquisition, also on Jaws of Hakkon and Trespasser
Analysts Mass Effect: Andromeda
Analysts Anthem
Books: Writers Dragon Age: Tevinter Nights, wrote An Old Crow's Old Tricks
Theatre: Founders Basic Acid Theatre company. Director and an Actor in Finer Noble Gases, Writer and Director of Occupied.
Left to join THE CHINESE ROOM LTD as a Narrative Designer on Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines 2. Currently serving as a Principal Narrative Designer on the game.
FormeUnknown:
Alexis Kennedy, Freelance Writer:
Founder and former CEO Failbetter Games Left in August of 2016
Original developer and lead writer Fallen London
Creative Director Tales of Fallen London: The Silver Tree
Creative Director Machine Cares!
Creative Director Dragon Age: The Last Court
Creative director, lead writer and Designers Sunless Sea
Co-founder Weather Factory
Writer and Designers Stellaris: Horizon Signal
Writer, designer, and coders for Cultist Simulator and its DLC."
Initial Concept Sunless Skies
Writer and Designer Book of Hours
He also worked on an unspecified research and development project with Telltale Games
In August 2019, he was accused of harassment by Meg Jayanth and Olivia Wood, a writer at Failbetter. Bioware has cut all ties with him.
Unknown
Ben Gelinas, Consultant:
Prior to joining Bioware, he worked as a staff writer for Guelph Mercury, Multimedia Reporter for The Waterloo Region Record, Crime Writer, and later Arts Writer for the Edmonton Journal, and as a Freelance Journalist.
Writing Special Thanks Mark of the Assassin
Editors and Additional Design for Mass Effect 3 and From Ashes. Editors on Leviathan and Citadel. He collaborated with the programmers to design the games Kinect voice command system
Editors Dragon Age: Inquisition, also on Jaws of Hakkon and Trespasser: Product owner for the game journal
Editors on Star Wars: The Old Republic: Knights of the Fallen Empire and Knights of the Eternal Throne
Editors and Writers Mass Effect: Andromeda: Some writing for Drack and additional story content.
Founder Copychaser Games Inc.
Writer and Designer Speed Dating For Ghosts
Game Design Instructor Sheridan College Jan 2018 - Apr 2018
Narrative Designers Control, Co-writer Control Expansion 1 - The Foundation."
Writers Gotham Knights
Writer and Designer Times and Galaxy
He is also working on a game about sleep paralysis
Books: Lead Writer and co-project Lead The World of Thedas Volumes 1-2, contributed an essay to Shy: An Anthology, Writer The Art of Dragon Age: Inquisition, worked on the English language version of The Legend of Zelda Encyclopedia, and wrote BioWare: Stories and Secrets from 25 Years of Game Development. He also contributed to the Development of the Mass Effect Andromeda: Nexus Uprising Novel

Hello everyone, first of all I'd like to apologize for my English level, it's not my native language, so I'll try to be as clear as possible.
I (M33) have been married to F (F34) for almost 5 years and in a relationship for almost 7 years and have been living apart again for 1 year.
We have been officially separated for 2 months.
I'm posting this message today to get your opinion on my situation to help me make some decisions.
F and I have spent several difficult years, starting with COVID, then the death of my parents, the death of her father, the war in Ukraine and the launch of a business project together. You should know that my wife is Russo-Ukrainian, so the war affected her a lot. You should also know that we live in a European country, which is my native country, but obviously not hers.
All these elements have greatly affected our relationship, particularly through the reduction of my wife's libido, and my estrangement both emotionally and physically (cuddles).
Our relationship was going badly and F decided to end it two months ago for several reasons:

• She no longer felt anything, not just towards me, but towards the world, no more joy, happiness, only sadness or a state she always called a neutral state.
• She feels suffocated in the relationship, in her obligations as a woman (especially with regard to sex) and wants to find herself again.

Let me say straight away that there was no infidelity, my wife being very honest, she wouldn't have hidden it. What's more, she's not a girl who runs after one-night stands, she's only had a few men in her life.
Our breakup was made official by F two months ago. Keep in mind that we work together and therefore see each other almost every day.
From then on, my wife quickly took the initiative of registering on a dating site, despite the fact that she had explained many times that she didn't want to be in a relationship, but rather to find herself and boost her ego.
She kept on meeting new people. At the same time, we often talked about her dates and I knew all about them. At that point, the questions started to pop into my head. We were very close, and I felt she needed to talk and I needed answers to reassure myself. That's when she met a man we'll call M. She went on her first date with him and told me she found him normal and interesting, but that she should always initiate conversations. As the days went by, I learned that this man M called her every day. In parallel, one evening my wife and I went to a restaurant and ended up sleeping together and spending the next two days glued together, like a couple. We talked a lot and she told me all about M. Of course, it had only been one date and nothing had happened.
We also talked about our relationship and she told me that at the end of her two days we should stop. She also told me that maybe one day our paths will merge, but for the time being we won't.
To make it easier for you to understand, I'll add one more information: my wife doesn't want a divorce. She doesn't mind if I ask, but for her part she doesn't want a divorce.
During our conversations I asked her what this Man M meant to her and she always answered Nothing. When I asked her how things would evolve between them, she answered I don't know. And finally, when I asked her why she didn't ask for a divorce when she was rebuilding her life, she replied “I don't feel the need to, I don't want to and I will the day our marriage is a hindrance to the progress of my life and know that I'm trying to move forward, I'm not rebuilding my life, I don't want to be in a couple, with you or with anyone else. You're an ideal man, don't doubt it”. For her, marriage is an important and symbolic event.
Those two days came to end and we each went home.
Several days went by, and we ended up going to a restaurant together because our day at work had gone badly. During that evening, I learned that she had seen this man M again, and that he was into her, so much so that he sent her poems. I also learned that this man M had the same family history as me (quite tragic, but that's not the point), which made my wife cry when she told me. She even started asking me if heaven was sending her signs. However, this man M doesn't have the same personality as me at all.
At the end of our evening, I took her home and we decided to talk like colleagues from then on and not talk about our private lives, ending up kissing several times before saying goodbye.
A few days went by and my wife U wanted to talk to me because she had a question about one of my dates that I had told her about earlier. Talking about it, I ended up learning more about her relationship with this man M. On their third date, he had tried several times to kiss her and she finally agreed. So they kissed. From then on, my decent life in hell began.
At the same time, work obliged me to leave for 2 days in a faraway country (15 h flight) at the end of July, and she was free to go with me or not. She wanted to go with me, and when I asked her why? she said she liked my company and visiting countries with me, and that it was a good opportunity to do so at lower cost (financed by the company). I asked her if she wasn't afraid of our situation, and she replied that she wasn't thinking about it. I didn't dare ask her about this man M, all I know is that she told him about our trip and he replied: “I trust you, don't betray me” (in my native Lanque this means “don't set a trap for me”). It turns out that this man is aware of my existence and our marriage, but my wife has assured me that she told him nothing about what happened between us.
You see, I don't understand her anymore, it seems obvious that something is going to happen between her and this man M. During her 3 weeks this man M talks to her every night. She plays a game of back and forth with him, which gets him even more hooked on her. When I ask her how she feels about him, she tells me nothing or I don't know but assures me that she doesn't want to be in a relationship. She even admits that there's something about him that bothers her and that, unlike me, she wouldn't be able to introduce him to her friends or family. She even admits that they've had little altercations. This doesn't stop her seeing him every week and talking to him every day.
We had one last conversation where we came to the definitive conclusion that we shouldn't talk to each other except about work. During this last conversation she asked me to accept that we're separated, to live my life, and to understand that she's free to do whatever she wants with whomever she wants. She confessed that she believes it's possible for us to get back together, but only time will tell. In the meantime, I have to live my life, enjoy and grow. So I stopped talking to her several days ago. I know there was a 4th date between them but I don't know more.
My questions are as follows:

• Does my wife / ex find escuses to go elsewhere?
• Have I become a spare wheel?
• Should I expect anything?
• How can I overcome seeing her every day while being in this constant loop?
• Is it kindness on her part when she talks about the possibility of our paths crossing, or does she really mean it?
• What should i do ?

Thank you all, I'll read your messages and keep you posted.