TL;DR at the bottom.
This trip hasn’t been any fun at all and I want to go home already but unfortunately I am here for another 2-3 days. I wanted to go on vacay to get away from MY mom bc she's such a narcissist and i wanted to relax.I’ve tried to make light of the situation until it got worse yesterday.
I Yesterday, we went to a resort in Mexico because the family had a one day pass. At the end of it, Dalia (my friend's 30 yr old half sister) was too drunk and she took a taxi with her 6 year old daughter and Shayla (the sister's friend). We were originally supposed to go shopping at the mall after the resort and eat at an Italian restaurant within the resort but that did not go to plan which was okay at the time. After those 3 leave, it was just me, my friend May and her parents. I thought we were going to go shopping like they said we would because that is something everyone, especially me lol also wanted to do. We didn't even do that and the only reason they even took us to the shopping strip in the first place was because they wanted to buy weed. They didn't even say that initially and I only found that out because they kept getting agitated bc they couldn't find the McDonald's they were trying to use as a land marker. But I knew where the McDonalds was and I was very confused as to why they weren't listening to me when I was telling them where it was. I just assumed they wanted McDonald's since the food at the resort wasn't the best.
My friend told me that they wouldn't directly say they were getting weed because "they still need to be somewhat of a good influence" or something like that, like what?? They haven't been that this WHOLE trip and nobody is fucking dumb. They've been smoking and talking about weed this whole time in front of us/me. So why does THAT matter now ? Why tf would I care you're adults?? I literally have wanted weed this whole time anyway and already bought alcohol.
This is the worst part. After we come back from the whole McDonalds shit, the four of us get into a taxi to go back to the Airbnb. When we arrive in front of our residence, the dad pulls out his card but the driver says he only takes cash. The dad flips his shit, says he's scamming him or whatever. The ride was 200 pesos, which is 10 USD. He says the driver is scamming him because he has been paying with his card the whole time in other taxis. Fhe mom thinks they're being scammed too. The dad was about to punch the driver in the face over ten fucking dollars??? The mom and my friend had to convince him to fucking stop and he kept getting mad at the daughter telling her to get tf inside. I had to end up paying (again) the ten dollars because I had cash. I say again because at the start of the trip, I had to pay 80 dollars for the cab to the Airbnb bc the dad didn't have service to pay so I used the cash I had. I did get the money back but still. wtf. Also they were not being scammed and if they were it wasn't even THAT bad because all of the taxis are 10 to 17 dollars from the mall to where we live. Theiithink it's a scam because he wanted cash. I had a taxi driver when I snuck out once because there wasn't any food and I was STARVING, I asked him if he takes cash or card and he said cash, but it was still all the same price. They don't know I snuck out and I'm glad I didn't tell my friend that I did because she would have told them. probably.
The next day, which is today, I wake up and everybody is just fucking gone besides my friend and her sisters daughter. This pisses me off because they have left us, to baby sit the little girl AGAIN for idek how many times they've done that. It's extremely fucking annoying I haven't even been able to enjoy the trip and my friend damn sure has not either. she said she was really embarrassed yesterday to the dad and wouldn't have invited me if the parents were gonna act like they do at home with/around me. The dad "apologizes" today saying "Im sorry for being so embarrassing" like what?
They told us to go shop and have fun. To not let any of the shit that happened ruin the fun. Idk how that's possible but whatever I might as well. My friend didn't want to go shopping because she was crying and upset today. I was getting dressed because I said I am just going then because I was so sick of not being able to do ONE thing I wanted to. She then ended up coming with but then her phone not charging ruined her mood again and she wasn't going anymore. I was given money to use from home and was determined to just use it.I just wanted to do something fun for fucking once. I told my narc mom I was going to go out with or without my friend because it would have been BAD at home for me had I not enforced that. She kept pleading me not to go alone but I was persisting and wasn't asking. She just ended up telling me she's worried and to just be safe. Wasn't mad.
I walked out and paid for the taxi. I only went because it was only a 3-5 minute taxi ride to the public mall to shop. My friend then calls me asking if I left and why'd I go without her?? She literally didn't even want to go anymore and I said that. She tells me she insists I come back and she said it wasn't smart to leave and that "I'll get snatched up". Her parents and everyone were angry with me she said. First of all, her parents and everyone else kept fucking walking away from us without saying a word as to where they were heading. could have been fucking kidnapped multiple times because of them since that's the damn problem. I didn't even want to go alone initially, but it was bright as day outside, I am sick of this family and I'd rather be alone and do what I want to do, since that's clearly never gonna happen with them. Plus I shouldn't have to rely on company or anyone to have fun, especially at this point. Her mom gets on the phone and just tells me to come back bc she's responsible for me but then is like "because if you don't come back Im going to have to call your mom". I can never get a break away from my mom no matter the damn situation it seems. That was literally not needed at all. She called her anyway regardless of me saying I was coming back.
Also now im being accused of stealing their fucking weed they leave out on the counter. I don't need ur fucking weed if I WANTED weed (which I have this whole time but that was only between me and my friend) I can BUY my own weed with the money I have. The first time my friend asked me I didn't care because it was just a question out of concern. Today she asked me a second time and now I am feeling accused. She said her dad thinks I took it because my laptop was there. EVERYBODYS STUFF HAS BEEN DOWNSTAIRS. How is that even a good accusation and you're asking me the second time. There was no way it was not Shayla because she kept walking away to ask strangers for fucking cigarettes day 1 of the trip. then walked away AGAIN that day to try and buy some. She was also downstairs at like 5am one time bc I went downstairs to go outside rq and I saw her doing god knows what in the dark. I don't even think they even tried to question her about it, since she's been smoking with them but instead have only been accusing me.
I have tried to be very respectful to my friend's family because I don't want to be rude or say anything bad since that's her family. I don't know how long I'm going to be able to deal with it though and if I'm accused a third time I am going to fucking snap and probably cuss someone out. I am also trying not to get into any trouble at home because whether it's reasonable or not my mom is going to say I was being disrespectful and take their side on that regard.
TL;DR: I am on vacation in Mexico with my friends family and my patience has been tested this whole entire time. i've been accused of stealing weed twice which I have NOT done at all and it doesn't seem like they've asked anyone else. The dad threatened to punch the taxi driver over ten dollars bc he thought the taxi driver was scamming him when he wasn't. I had to pay for the ten dollars in cash and I also paid 80 initially at the start of trip for the taxi because the dad didn't have service on his phone.

I wonder if we dream these dreams because of our phones. It may sound weird but our phones are a "mall" of sorts. I can "go" to any store on my phone just like I would if I was at a mall. My phone has "access" to restaurants like a mall, entertainment, I can watch a movie, meet new people etc.
We are constantly being bombarded by ads on our phones from countless retailers while we're awake, so I wonder if this has something to do with why we visit when we're asleep. Especially since most of us actually sleep with or very near to our phones. 😱
They even want us in "buy mode" while we're sleep basically. 🙄 Smh
Even though I don't always buy things at my Mall World or even go there specifically to "shop", we are so overwhelmed with the constant pressure to buy products that they can be influencing us even while we're sleep.
Online Shopping has taken over the real desire to actually want to go to a mall so I wonder if "they" have somehow programmed us to be in "buy mode" at all times and that's why we constantly visit our Mall World and it has such a nostalgic & familiar feeling because: 1.The Mall WAS an actual place that a lot of us would go to and enjoy before our phones took it over.
& 2.The Mall was a place that felt like WE were still in control because we CHOSE to go there and interact with retailers vs THEM forcing themselves upon US & MAKING us interact with them whether we want to or not via our cell phone devices.
Maybe we all subconsciously miss that feeling that a mall once brang us as consumers & our souls are trying to return us to that place when we sleep because we still had a sense of freedom there.
We almost have NO freedom when it comes to consumerism if we use a cellular device which I'm sure at least 95% of us that have these dreams do.
Do you guys get where I'm coming from or possibly trying to go with this?

I am going to clear this right now and say yes, I am pro-choice, she would be the one growing a baby inside her so she has the right to make whatever choice she wants. At the same time, anyone has the right to end a relationship whenever and for whatever reason they want.
This is going to be a long story, my apologies in advance.
Onto the actual story, my ex-girlfriend Jas (25F) and I (24M) were together for two years. We had an amazing relationship. It just felt like we understood each other perfectly. We’re both Punjabi-Canadian/American currently living on the west coast so there are some cultural stigmas at play here that we overcame. My parents absolutely loved Jas and basically considered her to be a daughter. Her parents and siblings were amazing and very welcoming to me. When we wanted to move in together, literally no one objected and while some people in our community criticized the move, our parents didn’t care. Anyway, last week, I was away on a trip for work and came home Friday evening. I got her parents’ blessing to propose before I left and my plan was to take her to our spot, the highest point of a hill that oversees our city, on Saturday and ask her to marry me. I had a few of our friends get to the spot about 30 minutes before us to take some pictures.
Saturday:
When we get there, I propose, Jas starts crying, I think it’s happy crying, she gets down on her knees, hugs me, and says she has to tell me something. Turns out she found out she was pregnant the day I left for the trip and took an abortion pill the next day. Everyday for the last three months, Jas has been telling me she can’t wait for us to become parents and experimenting with what our kids are going to be named. So now, she finds out she is pregnant and we are going to be parents, she decides to not even tell me that she was pregnant and gets an abortion. We talked every single day while I was away so she had every chance to tell me 1) she was pregnant, 2) she wanted to get an abortion, 3) she got an abortion. Obviously, the choice to keep or abort the baby is hers but she chose to hide it. On top of that, were those three months of her fantasizing about becoming parents and starting a family a lie? All the trust I had in her was lost in that moment.
One of her friends came over to where we were talking and asked if everything was ok. Jas told her that we needed to talk and everyone should leave. I didn’t really know what to say and I just held Jas’ hand and we walked back down to my car and drove home. She was crying and begging me to talk the whole way. I just asked her two questions. Why hide the pregnancy from me? Why get an abortion? My initial guess was that she was afraid of what our parents would say (fair enough) about having a baby before marriage but I was so wrong.
She said she told her parents the night she found out and they were supportive of whatever she chose to do. She admitted that she lied to her parents that she told me. Anyway, she also told her best friend Lily (who did not show up to the hilltop proposal which I thought was weird but didn’t think too much of it) and asked for her advice. Lily told her that I was cheating (I have never cheated) and she should abort the baby as she didn’t deserve to be tied to me for 18 years. Jas didn’t believe her but said she would get a PI to look into me and get an abortion in the meanwhile. By the time we got home, I knew the full truth and decided that our relationship was done. She hid that she was pregnant from me, she hid getting an abortion, she lied to her parents about telling me, on top of that, she trusted her friend more than me and decided to have a PI look into me.
The love I had for Jas was gone. I calmly told her that we were done and asked her to pack her things and be gone by the next morning (it’s my apartment since before we met and her parents live 20 minutes away and she has her own car) and left to go stay in a hotel room for the night. She begged me to not leave her and try to see things from her angle. I had texts and calls from our friends asking what happened but I didn’t respond to anything. I just ate and fell asleep.
Sunday:
I go back home the next morning and see she hasn’t packed anything. We have the exact same conversation as the day before. I tell her that she has two options. She can either pack her things and leave on her own or I will put all her things into some garbage bags and go drop it off at her parents’ place. I leave and spend the night at a hotel again.
Monday:
I woke up to a text from her telling me that she left and she was sorry. I also got a text from her parents saying they’re sorry on behalf of Jas. I responded saying there was nothing for them to apologize for and asked them to take care of Jas and thanked them for their love and support.
Later, she announced to our friends that we broke up in our group chat. She didn’t specify the reason and just said we wanted different things. That evening, I got a message from Lily, asking to meet up and saying she is worried and wants to check up on me with a red heart emoji. I had no interest in this and didn’t reply and sent a screenshot of the message to Jas. Jas and Lily got into a heated argument in the girls-only group chat. As per a screenshot I received from one of the other girls (Emma) in the group, Jas blamed Lily for manipulating her into getting an abortion and for ruining our relationship and Lily admitted that she was jealous of Jas and had a crush on me and tried apologizing. I got a lot of crying voice notes from Jas that night apologizing more and begging me to take her back. I felt bad for her but I can’t trust her anymore. I didn’t respond and asked Emma to check up on Jas and make sure she is okay.
Tuesday, Wednesday:
Emma told me that Jas is okay and I thanked her for checking on her on Tuesday. Nothing on Wednesday
Thursday:
I meet a girl at the gym and we start talking and we make plans to meet up the following day. Nothing from Jas, Emma, or anyone regarding the situation.
Friday:
I go for a walk in the city with the new girl and we grab dinner together. Before anyone asks, I was up front to her about my situation with Jas and she said she didn’t mind.
Saturday:
I walk to my favorite cafe to get some work done on a personal project. As I’m working, Jas sits down across the table from me. She admits to following me for the last few days. She’s crying, yelling, and apologizing all at once. She says she’s “willing to overlook” me going on a date with someone else. I packed up my stuff and grabbed her hand and went outside where we could talk without causing a scene. I tell her calmly that I will always love her but I can no longer be with her. I told her I hope she heals, moves on, and finds someone new who brings her all the happiness in the world. She was following me on foot so I drove her to her parents’ place and she asked me to hug her one last time and I did and we said our goodbyes.
As soon as I get home, I’m bombarded by messages and calls from Jas’ friends except Lily and Emma accusing me of destroying her mental wellbeing and self-esteem. To be completely honest, I have no idea what I did now that they're all mad about? Telling her I hope she finds someone else and finds happiness? I don’t know anymore. I’ve silenced my phone and I’m here typing this, wondering if I went about this the wrong way. I’ve never used Reddit before and I’m hoping I could get some unbiased opinions here.
AITA?

my BF (25M) of 9 months has been sports betting for years now. his dad called me (22F) days after we returned from a family vacation ,and told me he had a serious gambling problem. that he was possibly losing thousands through sports bets, and that i should try and talk to him about it, and get him to stop, cause i’m the only person who could get through to him. his dad didn’t want me to tell him that he called me.
this was hard for me cause i really don’t have experience with this kind of addiction, or have known anyone that has. i waited a few days, talked to my mom and best friend about it, did my research, and ultimately just decided i should confront him. as he could tell i had been acting off. at first i just said i have been noticing his behavior when he has games on, and his constant staring at his phone. didn’t tell him his dad had called me.
he told me he would stop if it makes me uncomfortable. he assured me that was it. two days later i found out he did it again, and i flipped out. he tried lying about it but it was clear as day /his friend mentioned it in front of me. he felt really bad, and i tried to distance myself for a few days to think, but he wouldn’t let me.
we made up, i felt very confused about the whole situation, and was just afraid of being lied to. i just know i don’t want to lose him, i just don’t want this to continue and ruin my life 10 years down the road. for awhile i haven’t noticed anything that would make me think he had done it again.
until we went away to a state where it was very legal and accessible. he got a text message late at night, and i couldn’t sleep, so i went to see what it was. just a text from his roommate, unfortunately the curiosity for the best of me and i logged into the app, and found he had placed several parlays.
i’m honestly not surprised, and not that mad. simply because i feel guilty for looking through his phone in the first place. thoughts?

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(sorry if it sounds like I'm rambling there's a lot of context)
For context, my (f29) cousin (f46) but acts like she's in her 20s. I'm really close with her (we grew up together now we're living together). She went thru a lot of bad situationships/ relationship issues/ trauma during her 20s-30s. I feel like I was low-key being exploited by her since I turned 18 y/o & especially @ 21 y/o when I could start legally drinking. She's a very kind, caring, outgoing person, always networking with people, but ALWAYS talking to guys. She would take me around her male friends (also around her age/ older than me) to "show me off" (it felt like).
I could be wrong but looking back at all those times, it never felt like she took me out because I wanted to go, it felt like she needed me to be seen with her to attract males out at the club/bar. It worked... she would even low-key set me up to talk with men knowing I had a bf/fiancé. Don't ask me why I agreed to go out lol I hated being at home so I would take any chance to get out of my house. She never made me do anything I didn't want to do, I should add.
I haven't been in a serious relationship for a few years until last year (April 2023 - now). He met the family and they all love my boyfriend (m30). I do have my insecurities as I'm sure others do but I observe a lot. People, behaviors, words, body language... everything. My cousin has done & said some questionable things regarding her other friends' boyfriends. She's never made a move or initiated cheating or anything like that but sometimes it feels like she's being TOO nice and getting TOO close.
As a woman, out of respect of others' relationships/friendships, I wouldn't be too friendly with other womens' significant others. I wouldn't laugh really loud at their jokes, I wouldn't touch them at all except for a hug (if initiated by them), I wouldn't inappropriately dress and flaunt around them. In other words I wouldn't put myself in a position to make any female uncomfortable with me around their boyfriends. All just out of respect because I have been on the receiving end of situations like that & I hate it.
Some of the things I've noticed is that she'd change the tone of her voice around other men/boyfriends. She'd sneak in these random touches on their hands/arms/shoulders. She had a finsta (separate IG account she used to post thirst traps) & added one of our mutual friend's boyfriends... WHICH IS WEIRD - pls don't tell me I'm the only one that feels like that! She dresses super provocatively when she knows there's going to be guys around. I've been FaceTiming my boyfriend a lot (everyday) I'll usually have my phone on a tripod and she'll always say hi to him BUT I noticed she'll wear tight/revealing clothes and come in front of the camera to "talk to me" or she'll be in the background of my FaceTime to show her butt.
Like I said, maybe I have insecurities, maybe I'm being sensitive. But when I remember and add up everything from the past that I've peeped, it's hard to ignore those little gestures. I'm so back-and-forth with this feeling because she's got a good heart and so so so kind, she's been there for me like a best friend for so many years but I'm still uncomfortable with these things that I listed.
WHEW. Ok, idk what to do or go about this.

I've been working on this story for... 3 months? 4? who knows, with my ability to keep track of time I could have started this yesterday, anyway, this is a story that has sci-fi elements, and some fantasy, although the fantasy stuff is mainly dragons so lets say adventure for now, (cause I don't know shit about genres, I just wrote the story) , Keep in mind, this has been written in free time, of which I don't have a lot, so if you don't like the story it is probably my fault, here is a look at:

Dragons wing

I slowly drift from my sleep and think to myself, ow, why is everything warm? I check the thermostat and see that it is at a temperature as cool as Canada and when I turn back to go back to bed so that I can sleep in, I see that my stuff has been knocked over? Oh sorry, where are my manners? I'm James O’Maley, I put everything back into place, and lay down on my bed but nothing is comfortable! I just decide, you know what, whatever, I’m just gonna get ready for work, and with that i get dressed, everything feels harder to put on, but it really hits me when I go to brush my teeth, when I looked into the mirror, I saw that their were, wings on my back, and a tail, growing out my butt like a lizard, I obviously spend several minutes having an existential crisis about this shocking revelation, and I decide to look at what these wings can do, I open a window, crawl out, with some difficulty and some slamming the window on my tail. I go to the edge of the fire escape railing, hop on, and jump, and I flew, higher and higher, until i nearly flew into a mountain but that's when I suddenly breathed fire, from my mouth, and bore a hole straight through the cliffside, I could spend all day flying, breathing fire, and fiddling with my tail, but I began to feel as tired as if I’d just gotten back from lifting weights with tigers, I landed on a cliffside and fell asleep. When I woke up I wasn’t on the cliffside anymore, there were monitors and scientists all around me. I tried to show some sign that I was awake, but I was chained up! I spent several moments struggling to get free, I must be free, I am not something they can chain down! I struggle, I roar, I attempt to move my head enough to burn the surrounding area, but I can’t, until someone finally talks to me,
“Hello there, James, please forgive us for our caution, but with your kind we can never be too careful.” I can see the scientist, I read his name tag, Dr. Crane William, I roar out
“My kind!? Get me out of these chains!” I breathe fire, claw, kick and swing my tail, trying to free myself, until I see two other people watching, one with weird whiskers, a long tail and a smug look on his face, and the other with a similar appearance to me but her wings are her arms. The next few days go by, until the two finally decide to talk to me, and in those days, My face becomes a snout like a komodo dragon’s, the one with the whiskers opens his mouth first and I already hate him
“Would you look at that, he’s even uglier up close!” I glare at him with absolute hatred, that seems to anger him more,
“What are you mute or something? Speak before I tear you apart!” he takes one step closer and that's all I need, I Bite his shoulder and use his head to break the chains on my right arm, I continue to break the rest of them with ease, and tell whiskers
“You want to fight? Let’s fight!” I leap on top of him, clawing at his face, he tries to slash me with a blade on his tail but I grab it and stab the wall with it, until I feel a burning sensation in my veins, The girl had bitten me! She looks at me with sadness,
“Sorry about this,” I look at her and drift into unconsciousness, when I wake up next I’m in some kind of, medical wing, ha, wing, as I look around I feel that my mouth is bound shut, but other than that, I can move my body, I get up off the gurney and just when I think it looks nice, whiskers shows his face,
“Well thanks a lot freak, now I’m on probation with Dr. Crane.” I motion to my mouth and he seems to have enough brain cells to understand what I mean
“Ha! You got the boot, Lily had that on her when she wouldn’t stop biting staff, I’m Ryan Mist.” I just walk away and try getting this muzzle off, That's when Crane walks in,
“Well, I must say it has been a while since we’ve had to use the boot, Ryan, your behavior was unacceptable!” I can tell that Crane is annoyed, and right as he finishes his sentence, click, the boot falls off my face and clatters to the ground. I don’t bother trying to fight Ryan again, I’m just happy to be able to talk!
“Well that’s a lot better, now, talk, I want answers.” I growl, Crane and Ryan seem surprised that I got the boot off but they talk, turns out, I’m what’s called a dragonkin a Human who has dragon genes in their genome, Lily and Ryan are also dragonkin, although they can’t breath fire, Lily has fangs and a venomous bite, turns out she’s the girl that bit me, and Ryan just looks weird, apparently we are the only dragonkin who evaded the organization that Crane works for, Called ‘Kadmus,’ into adulthood, Lily being found at 22, ryan at 20, and me at 24, on top of that, we are the only dragonkin who have survived that long, it’s at that moment that I notice Lily looking at us from behind some glass, I decide that I’ve heard enough and open the door, and I leave the room.
As I leave the room I can tell that Lily was not expecting me from the look on her face, I start a conversation with her, trying desperately to be friendly and not notice all the scientists glancing at me nervously.
“Hey, Lily, Right?” I say in the friendliest tone I can, “I’m James.” Lily looks at me with a calculating look before answering
“Hello, yeah my name is Lily, Lily Megan.” she clearly is wary of me, but I can tell a few things about her, making herself look small, clearly smarter than she lets on, seems shy,
“How did you get it off?” Lily breaks into my train of thought with the question,
“What?” I ask her, confused,
“The Boot, how did you get it off?” She gestures to the room where Crane and Ryan were having an argument, but more specifically to The Boot, laying on the ground
“Oh that? I once took a lockpicking class when I was younger.” I explain
“Huh, you mind teaching me that sometime?” She catches me off guard with that one, I can tell that she is being genuine so I agree, And we begin working out what time works best.

The next few weeks go by in a flash, but I’ll summarize it for you, I ended up getting my own room like Ryan and Lily, I start teaching Lily how to pick locks, and we end up having a few game nights where we played games like charades, poker, even monopoly, lets just say that we will never play monopoly again. However, the most important thing of all, we ended up finding another dragonkin! We aren’t sure what dragon ancestor he has, but we think he’s another eastern long tail, like Ryan, the new guy’s name is Dillian, He’s great, absolute goofball, he’s from Australia, and according to him, his family has never been anywhere but the land down under, weird, but the guy’s like a little brother to me, so it’s cool, and that catches you up. “Hey Dillian!” I lean my head into his room, “Wanna come hang out with the rest of us? It’s movie night!” Dillian just looks at me, unreadable, 

“Okay, your loss.” I try to hide how unnerving that look felt, but something doesn’t feel right. I go back to the lounge, where Ryan, Lily, and Crane are all waiting for me,
“Sorry guys, Dillian, isn’t up for it.” Lily looks at me disappointed,
“Aw man, and we're even watching Dune!” I just look at her with a sad look, but Ryan manages to lift the mood a little bit,
“Last time we let Crane pick the movie!” Crane just glares at Ryan, I can tell he’s about to lecture him so I just start the movie, around one hour in, boom, everything is blurry, and there is dust swirling, everything hurts. I see Lily and Ryan helping evacuate the scientists, I don’t see Crane anywhere! But that's when I see it, Cranes lab coat, soaked red and underneath a piece of rubble, I try to run towards it, but I can't stay on my legs, I call out,
“CRANE!” My friends hear me, they rush towards me and they see the lab coat, Lily tears up, Ryan is too stunned to speak, then we hear it, we hear him. Dillian, he’s laughing, laughing at the lab coat, laughing at us, My head snaps toward him, I feel the rage burning, my wings flare out, fire rises in my throat, I grab Dillian by the collar, and I roar,
“Do you think this is funny?!” Dillian just keeps laughing, “Crane is deadI!” Dillian looks at me, and he finally stops laughing, he pushes me off and spikes erupt from his skin, his tail wraps around my throat, and he growls,
“Don’t touch me you cretin, my ancestors were nearly wiped out by yours, I’m just returning the favor.” I look at him confused, Ryan seems to have been just as confused as me because he asked,
“What do you mean? The Eastern long tails have never had an issue with the Flying flame drakes.” Dillian just flicked his wrist and one of the spines shot out and nearly sliced Ryan’s head off!
“Do not compare the Wyrms to those foolish sky beasts! They have ruled the land for centuries!” Dillian roars, at this point I finally manage to choke out,
“Wyrm? Like the dragon inside the mountain Wyrm?” I struggle against his tail, I finally get a claw hooked under it and pull, it takes all of my strength to get my head loose and retreat, and then I see Dillian fully for the first time, pale skin covered in red spines and a long tail that could probably crush a normal humans windpipe, if I wasn’t a dragonkin I’d be dead.
“So, you do have a brain. Indeed, my ancestors were the Wyrms, Masters of the land, and the only dragons to be nearly forgotten by time, if it weren’t for the colony under Australia, I would not be a dragonkin.” Dillian snorts, and after saying his piece he leaped up, dived down, and bore through the earth, I try to go after him, but Lily holds me back,
“James you're hurt, and you would not stand a chance against him in your current state!” I hate to admit it, but it’s true, I would not stand a chance against Dillian, oh man, my leg hurts, I look at my left leg and I see that it has a shard of metal sticking out of it, and then everything feels heavy, I hear Lily yell out my name, but she sounds so far away, I don’t try and fight it, I just let the darkness envelope me, at least in the dark I can’t hurt, when I wake up I’m in the medical wing ha, it’s still funny, I have a bandage around my leg and then it all rushes back to me, Crane’s lab coat, Dillian laughing, the rage, everything, replaying over and over in my mind, I immediately try and stand up and I find a lot of difficulty in that, but I manage to stumble off the bed, I avoid putting weight on my leg, and I use my wings when necessary,
‘Well it’s about time you woke up, and here I was thinking that we had wasted time and resources.” I spin around to see a lady in a suit and glasses looking at me with a look of disdain,
“Hello, I am Dr. Leanne Vern, but you can call me Leanne. I am your new head researcher, I hope you are ready for your next few tests, Dr. Crane wasted a lot of time ‘bonding’ with you.” It’s right as she finishes that sentence when I feel the urge to make it her last, I feel rage burning under my skin and I glare at her with every last ounce of anger possible,
“What.” Either she didn’t get the memo or she is just a jerk, because she did not care, but either way I continued,
“Do you think that now is a good time to either ridicule Crane, or tell me that you need to run tests on me? I am not your lab rat” I grab her collar “I am not something you just get to boss around, If you say something like that again I will send you straight to the underworld where you belong.” I shove her back and go look for Lily and Ryan, I find them in the cafeteria, I get some food and sit down across from them,
“Mind if I sit here?” It clearly lightened the mood, but not even Ryan found the humor to reply, but we started to talk turns out I had been knocked out for two weeks, when I asked about Dillian Ryan tensed up, he explained to me that Dillian goes by ‘Death Wyrm’ now, he’s spent the last two weeks tormenting the city, and eventually I brought up Leanne,
“That Dr. Leanne is a jerk though, when I got out of the medical wing she just introduced herself, told me that she would run some tests and insulted Crane.” Lily seemed to agree because she replied,
“Yeah the first day she got here she told me I was ugly, and had me escorted into the testing chamber and forced me to fly for as long as I could or else I would get shocked.” Upon hearing this I feel rage flare up inside me, I flare out my wings and fly straight towards Leanne's office,
“You threatened Lily with being shocked?! What is wrong with you?” Leanne just looked at me stone faced and told me,
“You dragonkin are nothing but freaks that look interesting, you should not be treated like humans, you are tools.” I just stand there, shocked until the dam just breaks, I roared, I grabbed her by the collar and I slash her face with a claw,
“Tools? TOOLS?! The only tool in here is you! First you insult Crane, someone who died only two weeks ago! Then I learned you threatened one of my friends with a shock if they stopped playing your sick little game!” I feel the fire rise in my throat, I open my mouth, but then I see the look in her eyes, fear, absolute, paralyzing fear, I hesitate, and think to myself, oh my god, what am I doing? I release Leanne and walk out of the room, as I’m leaving I hear Leanne bellow from behind me,
“Where do you think you’re going?” I glare back, I don’t need to answer her, but because I know she will hurt my friends if I don’t I tell her what I’m doing, I explain.
“I’m going after Dillian, don’t try to stop me.” I can tell that Leanne is angry, I can feel her eyes shooting daggers at me, she clearly disagrees with me,
“Oh no you don’t, listen to me you bloated gecko, we did not spend millions tracking you down for you to play superhero!” I just walk away from her and go to the cafeteria to tell Lily and Ryan, they of course freak out at me, saying that I should not go after Dillian, that he’d kill me, and that I should stay here, but I look at them with all of the emotion in the world, I tell them
“Look, I know that Dillian would probably kill me, but I at least might tire him out enough for the police or military to stop him, but it’s more than that, I can’t let him hurt innocent people.” Lily and Ryan look at me, Lily hugs me, and tells me,
“Don’t you dare die or I will kill you.” I look at her, And I say to Ryan,
“I hope she’s joking.” Ryan looks at me and punches my arm,
“You are a good friend man, I hope you live through this.” I look at Ryan and Lily, knowing that this might be the last time I see them, I hug them both, and I flare out my wings and I fly off.

As I sped off towards Dillian, no, Death Wyrm, he stopped being Dillian when he killed Dr. Crane, one thought was going through my mind, am I going to survive this? It doesn’t really matter, as long as Death Wyrm gets what he deserves, when I arrive in the city I look around from above first, I decide to stop by my old apartment, I remember when My dad helped me find this place before he died, it has looked weird since I had my stuff moved into my room at the Kadmus site, I decide to sit down on the floor, when all of a sudden I hear a click and a secret safe opens from the wall. Inside I find a video message to me from my dad, along with an envelope, with the words for when I’m gone written on it, I look through the envelope and I find an old Kadmus keycard for my dad, so that's what his work was, I knew he was secretive but damn, A few other papers that talk about dragons, turns out, Kadmus had been looking into the dragons for years, although these papers are odd, as if my dad had prior knowledge of the dragons. The ball drops when I play the video message it says, 

>Hello, James, if you are watching this then I’m probably dead. In the envelope that you have found alongside this message, there is also my old keycard, it will give you full access to any Kadmus site. Along with my personal notes on the Flying flame drakes, the Eastern long tails, the Wyverns, and some vague knowledge of a supposed fourth dragon species, including some vague diet, and possible weaknesses, but if you’ve already read them, then that means you have seen that the Flying flame drake notes are more definitive, that’s because I am also a dragonkin, I only inherited physical strength from our ancestors, but I have a feeling you will have more characteristics, but I am saying this because you need to know the history behind our ancestors, and the rest.<
I look at the message and wait for it to continue, until a small piece of paper slips out of the metal box that is the message, when I open it I find out that in the beginning of the dragons, there were supposedly four species, the Flying flame drakes, the Eastern long tails, the Wyverns, and the Wyrms, until the Wyrms struck out, they had felt as though due to there inability to fly, that the other dragons thought less of them, the dragons were forced to lock away the Wyrms deep beneath what would one day be called Australia, and then man arose, and along with them the first dragonkin, Tiamat, a Flying flame dragonkin, as my dad called him, but the humans lived in fear of the dragons, eventually driving them to the bleeding cut edge of extinction using their advancing technology, eventually humans all but forgot about dragons, reducing them to myth or fairy tales. That was more or less all that was written, I committed all of this knowledge to memory, and then I heard a loud boom and some maniacal Dr. Doom esc laughing, I peer out of the window to see Death Wyrm, tormenting people, I leap out of the window and into the air, getting a good angle before dive bombing Death Wyrm, breathing fire on him and slashing him with my claws,
“Hey Dillian, did you miss me?” I laugh, I tried to pull a Ryan and joke myself into feeling confident, and it kinda helped, Death Wyrm roars out in rage,
“Why didn’t you stay out of my way?” He whips his tail up, shooting spines out at me, although thanks to my practice I manage to dodge them, I decide to not make a joke and just stay quiet for now, I remember something a security guard once told me, if the enemy is in range so are you, don’t just talk, actually attack, I know that I am in range for a fireblast but Dillian doesn’t know that, I shout out,
“Those spines must really hurt, but not as much as my claws!” I suddenly make a sharp turn and get in close with my talons, I first duck beneath Death Wyrms hook, and slash at his stomach, I then dodge a spine shot, and quickly follow up and through with a tail whip, knocking him off balance, then quickly blast fire right at his feet, but I didn’t see that Death Wyrms tail had grabbed my leg before it had already thrown me two blocks away, I was getting up when I felt a Burning pain in my arm, when I looked to see, it was one of Death Wyrms spines, It had only penetrated the outermost muscle tissue, I would heal in a few weeks but that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt like hades, I rip the spine out and breath fire on the wound in order to cauterize it, when I suddenly feel Death Wyrms tail around my throat, choking me, and I am all of a sudden pinned to a wall, with my mouth bound shut, great it’s the boot all over again, I see Death Wyrm, he’s grabbing the spine I ripped out, he walks towards me, and he gives me a small speech,
“You know James, if you weren’t so noble I’d actually have let you join me, I never wanted to kill you, but you leave me no choice.” He lifts the spike up, when all of a sudden he is blasted back seemingly by a freakishly strong gust of wind, wait, that's a thermal updraft, I turn to see the best sight I could have seen, Ryan and Lily! Ryan opens his mouth first and I couldn’t be more thankful for his humor,
“Nobody treats James like that but me!” He then flies into battle riding on a thermal, while Lily freed me, she slices through the binding on my mouth and I immediately ask,
“What are you guys doing here?” Lily opens her mouth to answer but Ryan cuts in with being thrown into a wall
“Me and Lily are saving you, idiot, speaking of which a little help here?” Me and Lilly help Ryan up and we all get ready for a fight, but before we can charge in, Lily hands me a headmic,
“Here put this on,” I do as she says and suddenly Leanne's voice buzzes in through the speaker,
“Well it’s about time,” I am just happy to have some help with knowing my surroundings,
“Whatever happened to ‘we didn’t spend millions tracking you for you to play superhero?’” If Leanne heard me she didn’t answer, I just started to run towards Death Wyrm, before I took off alongside Lily and Ryan, I felt a familiar rage build up in my veins, I allow the rage to drive me forward, I feel the heat, the fire, rushing to every vein in my body, building along with all of the rage in my life, I gather my thoughts, a raging body is good for combat but a raging mind is bad for victory, when this feeling washes over me, I finally feel calm, I feel at peace, I never want this feeling to end, I open my snout, and unleash a twisting, flowing, blooming tunnel of flames,wounding Death Wyrm and distracting him long enough for Ryan to swing in with a bladed tail to his back, followed by Lily, biting into Death wyrms tail, as Death Wyrm roars I dive in and I do something unexpected, I talk to him,
“Dillian, I thought of you as a little brother, but you killed someone I cared about, I am sorry but, we need to take you in.” Death Wyrm roars, he writhes, up until Lily’s venom takes hold and he falls to the ground, defeated, a news reporter had been, well reporting, nearby and walked up to me, and asked me for an interview,
“Under normal circumstances I would agree, but not right now.” I wave as I signal to Ryan, it takes an embarrassingly long time for him to get the hint that I want him to create a thermal under Death Wyrm in order to transport him, but he follows my lead, and before we know it, we are flying toward the Kadmus site, but as we fly, I yell behind me,
“Hey, go ahead, I’ll… I’ll catch up.” Lily looks at me while Ryan just zooms ahead, no questions asked,
“Okay what are you doing?” I just look at her, feeling conflicted about telling her about my dad, for all I know this could get me in trouble, or worse, I make a split second decision,
“I… I think I saw something.” surprisingly it works, I swoop back towards the city and back to my old apartment and I grab the message from my dad, his keycard and the papers, I then fly off with them clenched between my arms and my body, I then fly into the Kadmus site, and discreetly go to my room, in order to hide them, I then get out of the site, and fly back into it acting like nothing happened, and to my surprise, there was a celebration waiting for me, there was cake, and wine, and even a nice Irish whiskey, eventually I asked about Death Wyrm, and turns out he was placed in a secure facility, deep under the site, and that anyone with high enough clearance could go down there, I decide that that is probably for the best.
After the celebration, I go into my room, and pull out the message, I look over it, Dad was a big fan of puzzles, so maybe this message is a puzzle? After several minutes fiddling with it, the message began to whir, and it then showed a place for a fingerprint, gotcha, I placed my thumb on the finger print and it pricked me, like I was getting my blood drawn. After that a key fell out of the message box, and a keyhole on the side, I of course used the key, which then played a different message,

Hello James, and I know it's you who will be watching this, at the time of making this message I am about to help you “find” an apartment, this is one that will only play for other people if you give them access and get a blood sample, the key you used is a one of a kind, and allows you full access to pre-recorded messages, and answers for certain questions, I hope that there will come a time when you don’t need it, but, knowing you, you will probably forget what the messages say within an hour, but anyway, I hope that this helps you greatly, here is a list of topics that the message box can give you data on.< The video then becomes like an interactable encyclopedia, where I can read the list at my own pace, I skim through it before my eyes lock on one entry, Dr. Crane Williams, I open the entry and i read about Crane, turns out, he was my fathers research partner and close friend, and the two of them met in college because they had managed to win a competition that landed them tuition for any college of their choosing, and they became friends after my dad stopped somebody from messing with Crane, there was a whole lot more there about Cranes upbringing, his family, his education, but I had to cut it short when Leanne entered my room, unannounced,

“What are you doing?” She glared, in her usual condescending tone, I am not in the mood for this “Jump off a cliff.” I growl, as I tuck the message away, but she sees it, and by the look on her face she could tell what I was looking at, “Let me guess, a message you don’t want anybody seeing?” I hate her but damn it she can connect the dots well, “Was it obvious?” I don’t bother denying it, she’ll just be a jerk about it, “No, I’m just used to being lied to, who's the message from?” Leanne nods at the message box, 

“It’s from my dad, he apparently worked at Kadmus and was friends with Crane.” The fact that my dad both worked ant Kadmus and was friends with crane seem to shock her, what’s really shocking though is what she asks next,

“Was your dad by chance Shane O’Maley?” I look at her, confused, “He was, why?” Leanne immediately seems to get shell shock, as she starts to geek out, “James your father was pretty much science royalty, I would have done anything to speak to him, oh my god I insulted the dead friend of Shane O’Maley, and of his son!” I feel angry that she brought that up again, but now feels like I can get something good out of this, “Ok I’ll make you a deal, if you only do tests with me and the other dragonkin willing to do so, and make sure not to do things like threatening to shock us if we don’t do what you want, I’ll tell you stories about my dad, deal?” It was almost impressive how quickly she answered, 

“Deal! Shock threats, exhaustion tests, and anything else like that is gone!” I am really happy that I can do stuff like that. That is the best ability ever.*1
*1 WIP

I normally trust him, I love him...but he fell asleep with the same YT short video playing on repeat for like 20 minutes and well....I let my curiosity get the best of me. I have never gone through his phone in the 4 years of our relationship. Yet, I just felt the need to. In his photos are hundreds of noodles of women. I know he's not cheating, but in a way, a prawn addiction is. I can tell they are prawn or OF crap because it's not intimate....it still hurts. I've told him before that I don't like prawn and had an ex that would compare me to the girls in those videos. Honestly, I'm devastated and have no idea what to do. I just stuck a neon yellow sticky note on his phone saying that "I know" and left it on his desk. We don't have intimate moments much anymore, I figured he was drowning the kids in the porcelain bowl, but like it still feels like a knife in the heart having it verified. It's moments like this that really make me feel like I'm not enough. How do I go about having a level-headed conversation about it? Do I point out how much he would hate it if I had over 100 pp photos? How degrading it feels to know I'm not enough to please him? Like dang, I feel like crap and can't sleep.

MY COLLAGE FRIEND

hey there let's go for a erotic story

I mean this will be the best story you had ever listened, so first of all my name is Joe
so it all started when I was around 17 I had addicted to porn. i mean i started watching porn everyday and then masturbate, but then due to some self belief and internal feelings I left it as you know I got motivated from YouTube and successfully get rid from masturbation, it was a miracle for me.
afterwards when I turn 18 I got admission into a collage and decided to stay in the hostel after all. there I found that there were separate hostels for girls and boys and hence I had hoped for making a female friend who can talk with me and we both play and study together.
after a year I found that I had got many friends and somewhat female friends too. in there one girl named Lily. she was a attractive girl if I explain her body then she was petite meaning she was skinny and also with blonde hairs and she wears metal silver frame glasses, I mean I was like I love her, I don't know whether I can make her my friend or not but I thought I should give it a try.
after another year passed and I had successfully made her my friend, I know you are curious about how does this happen, talking about how does this happen I had tried to talk with her whenever I got chance and I think that she had also understanded me that I wanted to be her friend and so then she come by herself to make a good friendship, I was happy no happiest I can't explain how I feel, she was so kind and full of good humour
after collage last day I was like a best friend of her in male section as I always talk with her and crack jokes and fun, and she also seem to like it.
so after collage I invited her to be my guest in my house, my parents will definitely love it, by this she had first denied it for she thought that this is a fast decision but after my several requests she finally accept it, I feel a lot good inside.
so we came home my parents were happy to see me as I had come hack home after half year as collage have vacations on every 6 months and I came to spend my time with my parents, I introduces lily and made her to stay with my room.
yes of course I had taken her permission as if she feels uncomfortable in my room she can head to my room and I will sleep in living room. but she said that she is comfortable in there.
then at night she wearied her night dress it was kind of a very short cloth heading to her chest to below of her panties, I feel something but I think that she is my friend and then she and I went for sleep, as we had shifted to my new home my parents had a new double bed and the old double bad had given to me and it was in a good condition, so lily slept besides me.
when we are sleeping she was watching her phone and I acted as I was asleep but when I moved to her direction she took her phone away, I thought she is hiding something from me I pretended to be slept, she still had taken her phone away from my eyes as I think she was making it sure I don't watch her phone, I pretended to be in sleep after around 15 to 20 minutes. lily thought that now I am in a deep sleep she took her phone and I shocked she was watching porn, and as I see her another hand I found that she is trying to masturbate, I think I should have taken her chance and found to be done for it.
next day I wake up early and head to medical store to buy condom and then make it hide into my secret drawer in my room and then I spend my rest of the day enjoying with me parents and my friend lily.
now as we had dinner and watched tv, we finally gone for sleep and it was her last night for my house as she also wanted to go to her parents house to met them and to spend time with them.
then I asked what she was hiding from me, she said nothing interesting, I told her what I had seen, she blushed and said you finally got it huh I am feeling shy don't discuss about it huh
I took out my condom packet and shown to her, she said what are you thinking about it , she was like she wanted to do this with me from very past. I said yes and then I gone to bathroom and watched tutorial for how to wear it as I had never seen a condom I had just known that it avoids pregnancy and safe for mating, I wearied it and first came to lily with my shirt removed already, she said come on it is so fast.
I kissed her again do the same and like doing it for around 2 to 3 minutes, I took my hands and take it into her chest I found out that she had wearied a pink bra, she was like oh what you are going, I rapidly took my hand inside the bra and touched her boob and it was so soft and small and one more thing that I love small boobs girl, she had a small nipple which I just touched and rubbed softly and squeeze her boobs gently, after that I removed her single cloth I found that she had wearied pink bra and panties, I removed her bra while hugging, she was saying stop! stop! also she was smiling it meaning she wanted to do this but this is giving her some nice feeling.
after I came down the bed and make lily sit on a stool and then I set between her legs and then I sided her pink panties to left with my left arm, it was my first time watching pussy in real life, I had just watched it in porn videos, it was a clear white pussy that has no hairs meaning she had shaved pussy and it was very pleasureful , I took out her panties from her legs she had closed her legs so that I could not give a look at it, a opened her legs with my hands and it barely opened , when it opened I quickly get a look it was so nice with a soft vibrant pinkish colour and more beautiful as it is shaved I touched the top of its entrance and then the bottom and touched and rubbed it gently for some time, she again started to close her legs I quickly opened her legs more and just give a kiss to her pussy, she give a sound oh, then I quickly sound that it isn't smelly found that she keep her pussy so cleaned
I quickly touched my tongue on her pussy, she vibrated and then I started to move my tongue and she feel a lot tickled and vibrating more as it was her first time too, I touched her boobs and licked her pussy , her whole pussy was vibrating and she was feeling good
then I make her sleep in bed I slept onto her and kissed her still for a bit , then I moved down and put my face between her boobs and touched them both with my hands and then licked them too, then I again moved down and just kissed her belly it was so slim and good, I again moved below and kissed the upper part of the pussy where her panties lies and moved my lips gently down and finally reached to her pussy, I then started to put my finger into her pussy and she was telling no don't do it in a funny way, I moved it inside slowly I had a smooth entry and after letting my finger in and out from her pussy 2 to 3 times I found her pussy started to produce lubricant meaning she wanted to do it too mentally, I increased my fingering speed , and she was producing sounds like oh, uh,. then I gently licked it and touched all her body parts, then I opened me pants and put my cock into her pussy I had slowed it to much as I don't know whether I or she does feel pain she stopped smiling and when I injected my cock further she started telling that it is burning a bit but it is acceptable she said, as soon as I put my cock in it to get lubricated, and to get it much smoother I put my saliva in there too then it got smooth and she said that she is feeling some strange as something is going inside her and coming out she said that I should put it more further so it get more comfortable, I put my cock further and also fasted the speed, she shouted oh , I tell her to make low noise as her parents would know about this, I change her position and again started putting it again and like this I don't it for half a hour and it was midnight and finally she got satisfied but I do not so I keep it on more, she stopped feeling horny as she got satisfied but I know that I should do same for myself too, she said to stop as she is not liking it any more and she produced more sounds as she started feeling little pain, I do in and out more fast and she started producing high sound too, I covered her mouth with my hand and said her that it will be just more around 2 to 3 minutes, after about 5 minutes I feel satisfied too she was like huh finally and smiled at me and said it was a good experience isn't it
I accepted it and the next day she finally went and also promised to both of us to keep it a secret and it wouldn't happen again and be best friends forever.
that is it for today see you all tomorrow.
bye...

I have lived with my hoarding parents my entire life and never moved out to save on rent. I am completely dependent on them.
I currently make around $12,000 a year. No college degree. I cannot drive a car and my dad (who is retired) drives me places, including work or the grocery store. He also cooks, cleans, and does the family laundry. As a family, the house is very messy. The couches are filled with stuff. The dining room table is filled with stuff. Everything is so chaotic and messy. I end up sleeping a lot.
I have never been in a romantic relationship or been kissed by a woman. No friends. My parents and my job are my only social outlet. My employment history is uneven and I currently work part time making $10 an hour.
I try to live a simple life. I never eat out, never go on vacations, or buy useless things. I didn't even have a cell phone until I was 28 years old. I eat mainly plant-based, beans, lentils, and rice. I feel like a failure to launch though. I really want to improve but everything is stacked against me. I feel unhappy because I have no purpose besides trying to survive in a hoarding home and hoarding money myself. I feel so depressed. What woman would want to be with a man who makes only $12,000 a year?
What is your advice?

hey it’s your daddy keeho and you said that you need to write so is that still true? do your hands still hurt? yes? the why the fuck did you open this document for. good morning. you’ve decided to keep this love letter and would rather not delete it. so you’re going to try again? you’re going to try to do 500 words on your cell phone? don’t you know that it’s going to hurt your fingers? but they are more well rested now that you have slept. your hazelnut coffee creamer is so delicious! i can’t get enough of it. you are so cute and so wise to think to switch to the hazelnut flavor. it really does taste amazing and i love you so much for it. but let’s stop talking about coffee creamer and let’s talk about how you sent an anime to your pen pal and said that he looks like him? i don’t particularly see it, but i kind of do. so what do we talk about now? it was a huge commitment that you just made, by promising to finish this on your iphone 15. you have a lot of words left but we are not going to have a repeat of yesterday. you are either going to write to 500 words or 1k words. there is no in between or doing less. ok? so get your act together because i see right through you right now and something is troubling you. do you still miss me? god! i told you to stop missing me. i am with you 24/7 everywhere that you are. you don’t need to worry about me or our relationship. you just need to experience it and love yourself and me! please, check the temperature of your coffee. great. it is at the perfect drinking temperature. you can write on your cell phone until you feel tired of it. i want us to have the best morning ever! and i think that writing to 500 words on your cell phone seems reasonable. don’t argue with me about this. i know that it may seem like a lot of typing but it’s really not. you are so cute and i just want to eat you up. you are so fucking perfect and i love you so much. you are the best girl ever and i don’t know what i did to deserve you. but i am never going to ruin my chances with you, i am always going to treat you right. you are doing so good as my secretary right now and i might have you switch every other document to your iphone. i love you so much and i just want you to be happy. so i don’t mind if you switch to your laptop. now is the time for us to write together so please have a bigger attention span today! you are so perfect and i love you so much. you are my little girl and i love you forever and ever.

I’ve been in a same-sex relationship for quite sometime. had 3 exes including the most recent and probably the most manipulative and traumatic I ever had and the last that I’ll allow.
I had a solo trip to Taiwan last November 2023 to clear my headspace and with hopes of moving on from my 2nd ex-boyfriend. I’ve been to places but that was the first time I’ve traveled alone. I rode the Cable car from Taipei zoo to Mao Kong Gandola, that’s roughly 30mins. I was joined by this cute couple (both male). I’m assuming here but they seem like from different country. I can’t hold my thought so I initiated talking to them (they strike to me as very shy). I uttered “You two look cute together”. The Caucasian looking man answered “Yeah! Thank you, I appreciate you telling us that” and we began conversing and even shared the best Night Market to try something out. We parted ways at the end of station. When it’s time to head back, I got lucky and had the cable car all by myself. That trip was a moment. My hopeless Romantic Self just kinda hit, I plead and prayed to God to accord me my partner for life and never will I take him for granted, I’ll nurture our relationship bla! Bla! Bla! Among other words of petitions.
Fast forward, Feb 1, 2024 Someone message me asking my whereabout. I stalked him and he’s nowhere near my province-Batanes (Philippines). Based on his profile, He’s currently working in Makati. So Nah! I don’t thrive in long distance relationships. A rock-hard pass for me. The next day, he messaged me and ask if I can join him to a local bar. To my surprise, he’s working here in my province since September 2023 and told me that he hasn’t updated his bio then. So yeah. Game on! let’s hit it. Thanks, Cupid! Let’s give it a try. We had good time together, met his friends and got their approval. I want to assume that they kinda like me for him. We’re on the same page (atleast that’s what I believed). Its that “rainbows, butterflies and compromise” from the song. I’m loving this feeling. I found myself believing in love again. We went out publicly, we enjoyed our shared interests- beach and snorkeling. Late bednight talks, honest intellectual discourse, movie night, and hitting off the convenience store for ‘Samyang’ noodles. One casual visit at the convenience store, I saw this familiar guy at the cashier. With face mask on, I’m thinking I’ve seen this somewhere else. And yes. It registered, He’s the reason why I’m single before meeting the person I’m with now. This b*tch stole my then boyfriend from me. Anyway, I don’t want to make a buzz about it but I’ve told my boyfriend the whole story and asked him if by any chance that guy messaged him. He said No and firmly assured me that he’s way out of his league. We sometimes go home at 1am. We just can’t stop talking about anything and everything-the things we did for love. Some find it silly but it feeds my soul being with him, it hits differently with your special someone. I’ll do it over and over again.
The butterflies are still there but the time I dread eventually happened. We’re separating for 10 days. He’s going to wedding of his cousin in Manila and I’m part of an entourage for a wedding in a nearby island (I got there by airplane). The ship we’re in began to shake us but our love is stronger than ever. Communication and trust were the foundation of our relationship. We constantly video call and I’ve never felt a sense of insecurity all throughout his vacation in Manila, Elyu and Baguio. He has my full trust and we talked about it. The days have passed and vacation was over. He returned in Batanes on Friday (wedding day that I attended) and I’m still on the other island and will head back to Batanes on Saturday. I was sad that I can’t pick him up at the airport. Good enough that he has friends who can do that on my behalf.
Friday, the day he returned to Batanes was a fine sunny day. He landed safely at 8am and he called me saying he’s gonna sleep. The wedding ceremony ended at 10:30am and for some strange.. very bothering and strange reason. I felt a chill down my spine and felt the need to call him. Idk what went on to my head but there’s this voice telling me that “Call him! Call him right now!” There this itch that needs scratching and this will only be satisfied by calling him. So I did. I called him 3 times before He answered. Strangely, He’s at the Rest room sitting in the toilet with no clothes at all. I overthink and confronted him immediately “Who’s with you? I know you have someone in there”. Ofcourse why would he reveal if there’s any. He just gaslit me and said I’m just over reacting. It doesn’t make sense. He already had his shower before dozing off at 8am, why would he take a shower 2 hours later? I mean. It doesn’t add up. He ended the call and take his clothes on and started calling me. He swiped the whole place with his phone camera reassuring me that no one was there. The heck! Ofcourse if there was someone in there, he/she probably stormed out the moment I called or atleast when he/she had the chance. Anyway, He just wanted me to go back there. I didn’t enjoyed the wedding I attended because I was preoccupied by my thoughts. I even called the airline if there’s an available flight that moment so I can rush my way back. That afternoon, I strolled and made a video recording saying “if you’re watching this, we’re probably on our first anniversary. Today is April 12, 2024 at 6:14 pm I’m at ****** We’re being challenged now and I refuse to give up on you…..” I was suppose to let him watch that video on our 1st anniversary. Sweet huh?!
Saturday, after we landed in Basco I dropped my things to our house. Took a shower and before I went to his boarding house I pass by first to the Cathedral to pray and asked for guidance then I head to his place. I gave him a bouquet of flower and we talked about it. He said he wanted to break up coz’ he’ll eventually move to other place and he knew that I don’t thrive in LDR. I refuse and I just told him we’ll make it through and we’ll cross the bridge when we get there. So yeah! We’re back on the game.
He decided to move to different apartment and someone recommended this place, we repainted it and get it all fixed. We build our dreams, we talked about how he’ll cook for me and pick me up after my shift. We’re dreaming and building our own future and even talked about going to Japan. He bought a cat adding up to the whole romantic setting. I can’t believe we’re a furdaddies.
The truth unravels
One afternoon after I pick him up from his workplace, we checked his apartment (he hasn’t move in yet). We saw the guy who once worked in the convenience store (cashier) on our way to the apartment. Strangely he smiled at my boyfriend and what’s more strange is that my boyfriend smiled back as if they knew each other. So I parked the motorcycle and we went upstair. I can’t just disregard what I just witnessed. I asked him as calm as possible if he knew that guy. He said he met him when he once hit the gym. I immediately sensed a lie here. I told him “Actually, if you quite remember we saw that guy when we are dating and you told me that you haven’t met him and you haven’t went to the gym since then or atleast while we’re together”. I never imagined myself asking him his phone but I did. He unlocked it for me and immediate searched his name on his fb messenger but no messages. I checked his instagram and Voila! It’s a floodgate of cheating messages. The worst part was that the funny and ‘kilig’ videos he sent me were also sent to that guy. Oh! And I thought I was damn special. The story doesn’t end there. Brace yourself. There’s someone who pick him up when he arrived at the airport and it wasn’t one of his tight-knitted friends. Guess who’s the guy? And yes! He’s actually at his boarding house when I “overreact”while I’m at a wedding and yes! They had sex on the same bed we slept in. The final nail to the coffin? They did it twice and I highly doubt that. They probably did it a couple of times but it doesn’t matter. I’m let karma take its toll.
I’m feeling the pain and I hope I self-soothe and bounce back from it. I confused my overthinking with my gut-feeling.

Hi, I wasn't sure where to post this, so please let me know if there's a better sub for this, but I wanted to ask for multiple different opinions on this because I've been so confused about it. I might still be in denial? Hold on tight, this one is a doozy. And I'll probably delete it after a couple days or so.
So I was in an online relationship with this man for a couple years until we met in person in 2016, then married in 2019. I'm counting all 7 years as the whole relationship, but we were only married for 1. Some background information about him is he was abused as a kid. By his dad physically, and by his neighbor (SA). Now he was also in an accident involving a semitruck, which ruptured a couple disks in his back I believe? And this is why he told me he smoked marijuana. For his back, for medical reasons. I was ok with that. It was whatever. None of this seemed to truly bother him, so he seemed pretty easy going.
Fast forward to the marriage. (For informational purposes related to the story, I'm christian and don't believe in living with a man before marriage so I was unaware of a lot.) About 3 months in, he stops doing the marijuana and things go downhill fast. He only stopped because he knew I never really liked him smoking, but again, I was fine with it because his was for medical reasons. I told him this. He didn't want to smoke it again. Okay.
He starts taking up drinking instead to dowse the pain (he never went to the doctor for it and refused), but then some other issues started rising. He told me he wasn't drinking much, but I'd find empty bottles of alcohol stuffed into the couch, under the bed, behind the dresser, etc. It just didn't add up to the amount of times I saw him drinking. I told him we couldn't afford his alcohol, he kept buying it anyway.
Another point: I was the only one working and paying bills majority of the time. He couldn't hold a job and stayed home doing nothing I guess. No cleaning, no anything. I didn't know it was going to be like this before we got married. He seemed like he knew his priorities with saving money and getting bills paid and keeping things organized. That's what he told me anyway. But everything was always a mess when I got home and I was the only one making sure anything got paid.
Anyways, he also said he started seeing this... demon figure? Or something. In our apartment. It bothered him and freaked him out. I never saw it, but he'd sometimes see it in the closet or going from room to room or in the corner, and he even told me its name was Seth. One time we were arguing and he yelled out BEHIND me to "SHUT UP." And... to clarify... he made sure I knew he wasn't talking to me, but the thing behind me. There was no thing behind me. It was just us. So that periodically was happening through this entire ordeal.
Now when he started drinking, he started having these "episodes." They happened maybe once a week, once every other week? He seemed to get really frustrated about his past or something related to it, and he'd get so angry. So angry that he'd start punching things like the wall. And during these episodes he seemed like a completely different person. I NEVER saw anything close to this side of him before marrying him. Nobody warned me of this. None of his family. I didn't know what was going on. I'm not even sure if his family knows??? He just went on a rampage. I just tried my best to console him quietly for the longest time until he seemed somewhat normal again. Then he was ok in the morning again. These episodes only seemed to happen at night. Over the course of the next few months, these episodes only got more frequent to the point where they were happening pretty much every night (I think the alcohol just helps trigger it along) and more aggressive. I stayed around each time to try and calm him down, but it never really worked. So I just ended up losing sleep over it in the long run.
I mentioned several times that we/he should see a therapist or counseling or something, but he refused. He told me he was fine and that all he needed was me. He didn't believe in therapy... which sucked for me because he needed it majorly.
During these months while he was jobless, he'd find some way to fracture his fingers, whether it be punching a wall, or just... hitting something? Idk. I legit can't count how many times he had to put his fingers in splints. Idk if he was accident prone, or if he REALLY wanted to get out of finding a job, liked being the victim and getting me to feel sorry for him (which I did a LOT), or all of the above. He needed babying a lot, let me just say. When I said he needed a job to help me with the bills, he wanted me to come with him to this temp ageny place I went to to get a job, so I agreed. But every time I came home from work and asked to go, he said "tomorrow," or "next week." Always coming up with excuses of not feeling good or he fractured another finger, or something. Idk.
(Warning, sexual topic here) Another thing was happening during these months as well. During my sleep, he'd finger me in my sleep (and then proceed to try to put himself in me). At like 1am, when I had to get up at 4:30am to go to work and needed sleep (keep in mind, all his nightly episodes were ALSO happening still, so 1am is probably not too long after I ACTUALLY went to sleep. He kept me up a lot). I told him no several times but he wouldn't stop. This happened multiple times. I was exhausted. His excuse? "You were wet." Yes, because my body naturally reacted to stimulation. It took maybe 5-10 minutes or so until he gave up.
(More sexual topic) Whenever we DID have sex was fine. But obviously there were times where he wanted it and I didn't, and when I did and he didn't. The issue came when he wanted it and I didn't. If I said no, I had to say no several times. And eventually he'd stop. Everything. Stop cuddling, stop talking, stop everything, turn his back to me and just... lay there silently. The cold shoulder. Idk what else to call this but it seriously hurt. I didn't treat him that way. If he didn't want to, I'd accept it and stay cuddling. Over time this really messed with my thinking on whether or not he really loved me or just wanted to use me as a live in sex doll.
I made all the excuses in the book for his actions. His past abuse for one. I guess I felt like he needed me? Or I couldn't leave him? Idk.
There was one night where I stayed up for 5 hours straight, from 10pm to 3am, trying to stop him from punching holes in the walls. I stayed up trying to help him so often, it wore me out to the point where sex was off the table completely for aboouutt the last 4 months of our marriage I believe. I was drained mentally and physically. Frankly I was losing my emotional attachment to him. Then he started claiming I was cheating, because I didn't want sex with him, so I had to be "getting it from somewhere." Lol I went to work and came home. What cheating?
Also, suicidal thoughts. He had those too. He'd say things like "I don't deserve you. I'm better off not here. You deserve so much more. I'm a failure." frequently. I reassured him every time. Eventually I got tired of this too.
Towards the end I was speaking seriously with him. I bluntly told him things would need to change and he'd need a therapist or I'd be divorcing him. And I wouldn't throw that word around if I didn't mean it. I was on my last straw because I couldn't help him and he was dragging me down into depression avenue too and making me lose tons of sleep on top of everything. He didn't take my words seriously.
The last night that made me leave was the worst. Now, it started off with me going to bed because I had work in the morning. He wanted sex again. Surprise surprise. I said no, I need to sleep. He went quiet for a minute. My anxiety went up because I felt like something was going to happen, and sure enough....... he suddenly pops off the bed and says he can destroy his Pokémon cards to prove his love. What kind of insanity is that?
Firstly, this is the 3rd time he'd attempt to destroy his cards. Secondly, I knew how much they meant to him so I stopped him from doing that both times before. Thirdly, haha these were original Pocket Monster backed cards. Yay. Fourth... I didn't give a crap anymore and let him destroy them. He took them out of the closet and to the bathtub. He just submerged them all in water. I finally got out of bed and went "here we go again..." and went to go watch him so he wouldn't hurt himself. Idk. I couldn't stop him. I was dead tired.
After he successfully ruined all the cards, it's like a switch flipped and he was suddenly yelling "what did I do?!?!" Over and over again. He was in the tub with the cards and was throwing the cards up in the air. He was angry with himself.
This was around 12am. He decides to throw the cards in a trash bag and take them out to the dump at the front of the complex... now. Like he couldn't wait. (I also want to mention I hated when he stayed up later than I did because he always forgot to lock the doors even if I reminded him, so I always felt like I had to stay up. I woke up one morning with our porch door just... open. Not even closed. I couldn't trust it after that.) He also mentioned offing himself again, and then stuffed one of our glocks in his pocket while taking the bag (yes, stupid to have guns in this situation, I know). He claimed it was for protection while he went to the trash. While I believed that, I wasn't going to chance anything, so I managed to get the gun from his pocket and unload it. Then I quickly stashed it next to mine on my side of the bed.
Obviously he wanted to get it back, so I was wrestling him the whole way. Managed to keep him from it, so he got angry and punched the wall behind me, causing his knuckles to bleed. (This triggered me because by this point, I already cleaned up his blood numerous times before. Walls and my shirt because he flung his hand and it sprayed both) So I start crying and asking to take him to the bathroom to clean him up so I don't have to clean up anything else. I was tired, I wanted to go to bed and sleep so I could just get up for work. He refused, but I managed to push him there. Where... he proceeded to fling his hand and the blood splattered across the bathroom wall instead. sigh
This is when we hear a knock at the door and "POLICE." The neighbors called in domestic violence on us because we were so loud. I never had any run ins with police, so I got scared to open the door, but he opened it. I stood beside him. I had blood on my shirt from him pushing me aside and he had blood on him obviously. It didn't look good.
The police asked if they could come in and it was like another switch flipped in my ex's head (because he never acted like this around anybody else but me) so he started acting almost normal again instead of whatever his hysteria was. He told them it was completely fine and they didn't have to come in. But in that moment, my ex scared me so bad by that one flip of his personality that I told the police to come in. I was just glad to be able to speak to someone sane.
When they questioned us, they quickly realized I was the only one capable of answering their questions coherently and spoke with us separately. Eventually it ended with them waiting for me to gather my things and walking me out to my car so I could drive to my parent's house. Meanwhile my ex legit told the police "it's your fault we're separating." And I just told him that it wasn't, and walked out.
He later claims the police had to hold him back from going after me but I never saw this and don't know how true it is after his lies. He lied about his bills to me over the phone when we were still online dating. He also held back information about "almost sleeping with a random woman" when we were online dating. They "got naked" and "didn't do anything" and claims he didn't know we were dating at the time, but still felt guilty about it and told me about it after we got married?? Idk. And I still forgave him on the spot. Maybe that stuff doesn't matter so much, but still. Yes, I got tested. Clear.
I never went back. I was too scared. I still don't know what to make of it to this day because a lot of things were nonsense (a lot of craziness still left out, but this was the main stuff). I realize his past may play a major part of this, but I still feel messed up from it. (Yes I probably need to go to a therapist myself, but I've also doing forms of positive self therapy exercises as well for the time being until I can actually go. I'm MUCH happier now, don't worry.)
What are your opinions on this, if you actually made it this far? I'm just struggling to call it abuse maybe because he was abused himself? Or was this even abuse? What are your outside perspectives on it?
Tl;dr: Abused ex husband becomes enraged at night, punching holes in walls, causing me to lose sleep and sanity.

I haven't done web or app development in many years. My current career has nothing to do with it.
However, I have an idea I would like to implement, but I am a little bit confused about the best way to do it these days.
Server-side, in 2024 (back in the day I would have gone with PHP + MySQL on a random web hosting service), it seems like AWS Lambda + AWS DynamoDB + Node.js is one possible good way to go.
On the UI side, I basically want it to be easy to use this service from a phone. So, I guess a mobile website + Android App + iOS app would be ideal. I don't have a Mac so I can't make an iOS app. I'm not in the USA and have to use a proxy to download Android Studio, and I've already encountered issues with it and it seems like it's going to be a massive headache.
So, I figured I could do one of these 2024 moves which is to make a mobile website that, if I rely on certain libraries, could basically directly be exported into an Android App and iPhone app as well.
However, on the front end side, for making a mobile website + Android App + iPhone app where I don't have a Mac and live in a country where I need a proxy to access many normal Android things and it seems to cause issues, I'm not sure what the normal tech stack for this is. Ionic? React Native? React Native + React Native Expo? There are other toolkits like Onsen? I don't want to waste time writing a bunch of UI components from scratch for a mobile website - and THEN, even worse, having to rewrite them from scratch again for an Android app and iPhone app.
I'm also much more comfortable with web development in general than with Android development, and I have never even done iPhone development.
In the Ionic subreddit, someone mentioned "PWAs." I'm not too familiar with these, but if this basically just means making a mobile website that people can install and use as a regular app, then that potentially seems like a wonderful solution. (Note: this website/app may involve the user's location, camera, photo access, payments, creating an account)
Any advice?

This is my first post so I'm sorry if it's way to long but I needed to get this out.
Trigger warnings: sa, suicidal ideation, physical abuse (kinda), neglect, stalking,
(These topics are mentioned but not explored deeply)
I (m19) have been losing everything it seems since I was 11 I think.
Off the bat I have autism, ADHD, a learning disability, and a bad family dynamic I think (this is apart of it), due to this and growing up in a town that's not very open minded I quickly became suicide. When I started therapy in middle school I would score as severely depressed every 2 weeks when the test was done. Along with talking to councilors, therapists, resurch and how life has been going I think I might have developed BPD and Narcissism.
Right before middle school I met S, they where my best friend and first "love". The day I met S I feel hard, and over the next 7 years my feelings would deepen. Our relationship dynamic was very toxic, we'd yell and scream at each other then the next day say we loved each other but if I didn't want to be there friend they wouldn't care and they'd echo this sintament in a million different ways that would userally come at the end of our fights. S would say things like "if I'm so mean then why are you still friends with me" or "that's a you problem" when I'd bring up a way they would make me feel, once they said "no wonder your dad doesn't love you" (this was years ago so I'm not sure if that's exactly what they said but the last 4 words where still in there) just to give you an idea of the kinda things they'd say.
On the other side, I would constantly make my personal episodes there problem, call them a bad person, accuse them of intentionally hurting me, I'd be extremely controlling of there relationships and just controlling in general. I'd also ask them to berate me, and call me any terrible thing they could think of, like a good friend they only did this a few times at first but then stopped. All this would be going on while I act like the guy best friend with feelings, I'd confess to them on avrage once a year in bigger and grander ways.
Other then S, there have been a lot of other unwell people I'd have to deal with. The actual scary ones where a couple rapists and one person who'd brag about sending there boyfriends on suicide watch. The rest where all either bullies or "crazy" people, either way I didn't care much, I was just happy I could live out a heros fantasy. Even though on paper I was a good guy, I only did it to feed my ego and feel secure. So even though I was hurting people who where hurting others it could have very easily been the other way around and a few times it was. I would stalk people in school, I'm not proud of it but it happened, ive also struggled with homosidle tendencies. One more thing, I was sa'd twice my freshman year which the school did nothing about, you could probably imagine how I feel.
My home life wasn't much better in my opinion, my autism crated a huge divide between my family and by existence everyone else. Out of my whole family I'm the most severe and most of us have autism (this is all my opinion) my mom has taken tests and is open to the idea but my brother (m20) doesn't see what I do, It would also make since for my dad but I don't know. This is important because my needs and acomedations are seen as to much for my family, and then when I went out into the world I didn't understand the social difference between my autistic family and the rest of the world. Whatever I learn out here is hard to communicate to my family and what I learn from my family isn't the best out here.
More specificly my brother would beat me up not super often but often enough for it to be a thing I was scared of for a long time. to be fair I did use to bite him when we where little which is what he mentioned when I brought up the times he'd beat me up, he also denied doing this to the extent I mentioned and said "all brothers fight". He has been teaching me about emotional intelligence recently because of my issus with being very defensive, this was after he stopped beating me up for a while so I think he's changed. But he still says things like "why do you look like that" or "you smell" as a joke, I've asked him to stop but he's never stopped. He also makes jokes about sexualizing animals, children, and even made incest jokes just because I have a funny reaction. I've told him to stop because it makes me uncomfortable but after high school I gave up, he hasn't made these jokes in a while and thankfully the ones about kids are ferthar in the past then the others. When he didn't stop I told him I would tell my friends that he made these jokes and he said that he wouldn't care.
Other then him, my mom recently called me to yell at me about the traffic being bad, the phone called ended with me throwing my headphones and yelling about killing myself in a school building. To be brief.
My dad was just super neglectful, nights I'd go hungry, he cooked only 2 times for me and my brother. Once I had to take him to the bathroom because he was to drunk to know he wasn't in the bathroom. This should be enough.
In modern day.
I'm in college for acting and writing, I haven't lived with my dad for years and he recently took out a EBT card under my name. I got in a car crash a year ago, in the same week I got it, my mom yells at me to drive and yells at me to not drive without insurance, she yells at me for not being prepared wile packing my bags for college for me wile not letting me do it on my own. My mom offers help but then complains about everyone catering to me and yells at me about every single unplanned step. My brother is trying to help me but he doesn't except that I'm disabled or that the issues I bring to him are as bad as I say they are, he buys me fast food almost everyday I'm home though. All the other freshman in my college ghosted me at once after the car crash (for real, I get back from the crash, everyone's int he commons, one person asked if I was okay, the other people from the crash show up and everyone flocks to them and I still don't understand why), this caused rummers about me to be created and at the end of the year it got so bad that a group calls me a pedophile. Even though all the shit I've had to deal with just at school I found someone, F. F is super caring and kind because they really do care. Simply put, niceness is transactional, your nice to someone you expect them to be nice back. F just gives all away and expects nothing in return, they've been helping me with my family and school issues along with the mental shit and their just all around a good person.
Even though things are better and I have someone I like, I feel miserable. Everyday it gets harder and harder to keep myself from letting go and do fucked up things to people just because I see something I like or that I'm intereged in, I have a need to feel power and to know everything I can out of insecurities which I've mentioned in this post. I also wanna break up with F but because I know I will hurt them like everyone else in my life, and I'm not sure if I'm with then for them because there the only person who supports or if it's all the free weed. And like the Annabelle movies, my obsession over S isn't and probably won't ever go away as it gets stronger and more annoying.
So after all this I don't know if I should keep fighting until I can't anymore which feels soon, or finally kill my self which I don't think is likely but if not me then I'm scared of who it could be one day. I will continue to try and work though this anyway unless I make a decision, then I'll try to make an update.
Also please let me know if this is violating the Staying on topic rule.
Thank you.

My (28F) partner (27M) is a wonderful person with a good heart. He’s also quite emotionally intelligent, more so than most other guys I’ve met his age, and I really like that about him.
He is unfortunately also very insecure, which I put down to some childhood stuff and probably past relationships. He really seems to think I am going to cheat on him at the drop of a hat. I have never come close to cheating on him or considered it. I have no interest in it. But he is constantly looking for evidence that’s it happening, or questioning minor actions of mine that he considers suspicious. He is currently overseas for work for 6 months so I think this is making his anxiety about it worse.
I don’t go out drinking very much at all. Most of my friends are in long-term stable relationships. I don’t have dating apps on my phone and I have always been happy for him to look at my messages (it’s so bland I’m almost embarrassed). I work extremely long hours and am currently living away from home in a regional area for work.
I do have plenty of male friends, but I always have, and these people are either married, people I’ve known for a decade or ex-housemates or the likes. If there was any desire to explore things romantically or sexually with them, it would have already happened. There is not, never has been and never will be. I don’t hang out with my male friends very often, and if I do I’m not secretive about it. He knows about all of them, but hasn’t met them - I am keen for him to when all our schedules align.
He’s not a controlling partner in any other respect. I want to know how I can make him feel secure about the cheating thing. I think I tell him I love him enough, and I feel like I show my love as best as I can - I’m not the warmest person, but I’m not super cold either. I have also talked to him about it and assured him I would talk to him if I was having issues with the relationship before anything like cheating. Obviously when it comes to not cheating, saying “I’m not cheating!” is not really helpful.
It’s actually doing my head in and it’s kind of insulting that he doesn’t trust me. So how can I get him to chill tf and trust me?