What a capricorn man likes

I know that she isn't exactly the strongest female character like Mulan nor the most complex necessarily but I find her to be so relatable and to be honest, I think there should definitely be space for this kind of representation.
I think what's interesting about her is how she pretty much depicts this thing that is often criticized about women who just enjoy stuff like sex novels where there are troubling aspects of relationships which wouldn't be okay in a real-life setting. Works like "Twilight" and "Fifty Shades of Grey" where the female lead's space is not always respected and is forced into exploring this sexual journey with the forceful fantasy bf. There's a great video where Contrapoints talks in detail about this phenomenon, which I'm gonna leave the link to in here: https://youtu.be/bqloPw5wp48?si=5e3igMUK7HXSqLWd
But basically Jane Porter is put into a dangerous situation with the monkeys where Tarzan obtains his big scene in which he saves Jane so they get to meet and eventually fall in love with each other. As it is explicitly shown, Tarzan doesn't understand boundaries (with him being a monkey man and all). The movie is pretty much aware about the whole idea that it wouldn't be okay for some guy to act weird like getting close to her face to inspect her and removing her sock to touch her feet. But ultimately, Jane Porter likes this situation she's in. She came for this jungle to find something exotic and special that her mundane life in England cannot give her. But Tarzan can force her to explore something new and exciting for her. To swing around and educate this bizzare man who was raised by gorillas where she fulfills this power fantasy where she gets to saved and attracted to the monkey man as she is able to be the one to educate him about the human world. She gets to give him a reason to explore his identity and to eventually obtain the respect of his adoptive father through his conflict against Gideon.
There's kind of a beautiful empowerment to that. That a woman is just allowed to enjoy herself and her fantasies, even if it might seem questionable, not make her look very empowering and may not be the most productive thing she could do for everyone. This is a journey for her to indulge and that's okay. This is a situation she could never get anywhere except in those novels. She wants to enjoy it and doesn't care if others ridicule her for her tastes. If she wants to be in the jungle with monkey man, then she can be in the jungle with monkey man.
People often become too preoccupied about women having supposedly troubling fantasies. That it can only come with the bad like trauma and self-misogyny. But Jane from what we can tell is pretty much fine. Her father is pretty supportive about her indulgences in a very wholesome way. When he sees her drawing Tarzan on chalkboard as she gets aroused about his sexyness and when she asks that she doesn't wanna come back to England to instead stay with Tarzan, the chad doesn't judge her and completely respects her choiced. She's just kind of a curious nerd who just wants to see something cool like gorillas and it turns out, she finds something a little bit more that she loves.
Idk, I just thought that was a super cool thing to present in the movie and I do rarely ever see that support of "cringe" for what a person likes try out on their own. Jane is a great character and I respect the movie for the way she was written.

When I was in the ninth grade I made some choices I now regret. I needed money and a friend of mine would always talk about how much money he was making from dealing drugs and I asked him how I could get into the game. He introduced me to his supplier or boss, honestly I'm not really sure I just shut up and did what I was told. Made bank doing it too. Things ran smoothly until our boss overdosed. We ditched all the drugs, and shut down the whole gig after the cops found out about our boss's operation. The money was good, not worth jail. After a while the heat died down and my friend found another supplier and starting selling again but I decided not to play with fire again and stay out of it.
One day I was in english class and the teacher of the class was easily distracted by the people outside but for some reason he always left his window open and would point it out whenever someone walked by, he would say look someone's walking their dog in the middle of when he was teaching, or something like look at that guy smoking don't want to be like that guy. Well this day he was telling us some story about his childhood as he always did when he paused and pointed to the window “look at that guy staring at us. He must be really invested in my story”
Then he laughed and moved on, and at the time I did too. I thought he must be tweaking on some drugs and found it kind of ironic that not too long ago I could have been the one selling him his stuff. He started to return a lot though. Always during that english class, always staring in our window. I never connected him to me because I never saw him personally. He was never there during lunch or any of my other classes and I didn't see him outside of school until one night. It was late and I hadn't been able to fall asleep that night.
I needed a glass of water and I got up, poured myself a drink, walked over to a window at the front of my house that has a gorgeous view and just looked at the mountains outside of my window while I drank my water. This was a common routine for me and sometimes I would notice something weird, like the neighbours fighting or someone sneaking into someone's home to cheat. Tonight though there was someone i had never seen before parked in front of my house, it was a black jeep and the windows were tinted so i couldn't see inside. I stared for a while until someone got out of the vehicle, looked up at the window I was looking out of and we locked eyes, I'll never forget those eyes. It was the man outside of class. I went to call the cops and the man quickly hopped back in his car and drove off. I was smart enough to take down the licence plate to tell the police and I made a report right away. Sadly it didnt work though as a night a few weeks later i was asleep when i was awoken to a light tapping sound on my window.
I tried to ignore it and stay asleep but it gets too annoying and when I turn around to look at what's making the noise I see the man's blank face staring at me, he's standing straight up one hand by his side the other tapping on his window. The man remains completely only moving his head and eyes to follow me when I move for my phone across the room. I loudly shout that I'm calling the police in an attempt to get the man to leave but the man just smiles, the first movement he's made besides moving his eyes and head. I tells the police about what's going on. There's a man outside my window that has been stalking me at school, but as soon as I say my address the line goes dead. The police hung up on me. The man starts to laugh slightly and for the first time takes his eyes off me to enjoy his laugh. I run out of the house and made the mistake of turning my head back toward my window. The man was still standing there not staring into the window anymore. He had turned to continue staring at me. Now back to not moving, just standing completely still, I take off and decide to stay at a friend's place. I made a police report the next day and never saw the man again. The police never found the guy. I have no idea if they even looked but to this day he hasn't bothered me again.

Anybody else have a problem with men constantly trying to go into the women’s fitting room in their stores and using their partner or family as an excuse, like not just at the start but in the actual room with the stalls??? This one man tries going in after his girlfriend and when I tell him he can’t go with her, he says “but my girlfriend is in there” yeah okay what about the other 10 naked women???? Do you really think they want a man sitting outside a stall while they’re changing??
I see it from tourists mostly, is this normal in places outside of America? Because they’re so confident about it that I’m really curious if men are allowed in women’s fitting room with them? (I don’t mean to sound rude, genuine question here)

Hi everyone,
I’d like to engage in a thought experiment that touches on the foundations of faith, particularly concerning the concept of sin. Imagine that Jesus wants to radically change the way you interpret the scriptures. This change is fundamental and deep theologically, possibly involving the full meaning of omnipotence, omniscience, and omnipresence, or what it means to be fully God and fully man.
Now, consider this: if you were able to accept this change in theology, you would never have to worry about sin again, in any way. You would no longer feel any kind of worry or anxiety about sin ever again in your life.
My question is: What would it take for you to make such a jump in theological understanding?
To explore this, I believe several factors might come into play:

1. Divine Revelation: The change would need to be rooted in a clear and undeniable revelation from Jesus. This could involve a profound personal encounter or vision that aligns with biblical truths. 2. Scriptural Consistency: Any new theological understanding must be consistent with the core messages of the Bible. A re-examination of key biblical passages with fresh insights that illuminate this new perspective on sin would be critical. 3. Historical and Theological Support: A thorough examination of church history and theological writings would be necessary. Ensuring that the new understanding has roots in the broader Christian tradition, even if it brings a new dimension to it, is important. 4. Communal Validation: The new theology should be discussed, tested, and validated within a community of trusted and knowledgeable believers. Communal discernment helps ensure that the interpretation is not a result of individual error or misinterpretation. 5. Practical Implications and Fruits: The change should produce positive spiritual fruits in the lives of believers. If the new understanding leads to a healthier, more robust faith life, it provides practical evidence of its validity. 6. Philosophical and Logical Coherence: The new understanding should be logically and philosophically coherent. It should make sense within the broader framework of Christian theology, including the nature of God, human free will, and the purpose of creation. 

Considering these factors, what would it take for you to embrace such a radical theological shift?
I’m curious to hear your thoughts and specifics on what you would need to see, experience, or understand to make this leap in your faith.
Looking forward to a great discussion!

Hi everyone,
I’d like to engage in a thought experiment that touches on the foundations of faith, particularly concerning the concept of sin. Imagine that Jesus wants to radically change the way you interpret the scriptures. This change is fundamental and deep theologically, possibly involving the full meaning of omnipotence, omniscience, and omnipresence, or what it means to be fully God and fully man.
Now, consider this: if you were able to accept this change in theology, you would never have to worry about sin again, in any way. You would no longer feel any kind of worry or anxiety about sin ever again in your life.
My question is: What would it take for you to make such a jump in theological understanding?
To explore this, I believe several factors might come into play:

1. Divine Revelation: The change would need to be rooted in a clear and undeniable revelation from Jesus. This could involve a profound personal encounter or vision that aligns with biblical truths. 2. Scriptural Consistency: Any new theological understanding must be consistent with the core messages of the Bible. A re-examination of key biblical passages with fresh insights that illuminate this new perspective on sin would be critical. 3. Historical and Theological Support: A thorough examination of church history and theological writings would be necessary. Ensuring that the new understanding has roots in the broader Christian tradition, even if it brings a new dimension to it, is important. 4. Communal Validation: The new theology should be discussed, tested, and validated within a community of trusted and knowledgeable believers. Communal discernment helps ensure that the interpretation is not a result of individual error or misinterpretation. 5. Practical Implications and Fruits: The change should produce positive spiritual fruits in the lives of believers. If the new understanding leads to a healthier, more robust faith life, it provides practical evidence of its validity. 6. Philosophical and Logical Coherence: The new understanding should be logically and philosophically coherent. It should make sense within the broader framework of Christian theology, including the nature of God, human free will, and the purpose of creation. 

Considering these factors, what would it take for you to embrace such a radical theological shift?
I’m curious to hear your thoughts and specifics on what you would need to see, experience, or understand to make this leap in your faith.
Looking forward to a great discussion!

Last Sunday, I overheard the conversation between my mom and her friend. They're talking abt their children of course (including me), I stood outside and listen to their conversation.
My mom: Buti kapa 7 ang anak mo, marami kapang chance.
Mom's friend: Ay oo sis, 7 sila lahat impossible naman na kahit isa sakanila walang makapagpayaman saamin diba.
My mom: Oo, hindi ka man sinwerte sa panganay mo at least may 6 ka pang aasahan. Sakin tatlo lang, yung panganay ko alanganin pa.
After hearing those, umalis nako agad sa kinatatayuan ko. Like??? Nag aanak kayo para may magpayaman sainyo? What kind of a mindset is that? Ang maganak ng marami para mas malaki yung chance na yumaman? Jeezzz😬😬😬

I am an ancient millennial who is here to vent some frustration. I have had several regular GPs in my life and have had issues with them. I will say I have had one Dr, a boomer, who was exceptional, the others no. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard older people say “just talk to your Dr” “ask him for a prescription” etc ect. This has never worked for me, only older people. I have had legitimate medical problems that were not only ignored, but scoffed at. Boomer doctors simply do not trust younger patients in my experience.
One time I went to my doctor after breaking several ribs, his advice, nothing. He didn’t even offer any pain relief. I’m not a fan of pills but a few would have been ok just in case. Another time I went in suffering from a severe nerve problem. I was shaking so bad I couldn’t drive. I was very frightened by this. I never will forget what happened. He showed no emotion on his face, leaned over and whispered “you need to check yourself into rehab”. I and am not on drugs Dr? “Well I can’t help you” and gave me the boot. To this day I never knew what happened to me. I felt so beside myself it was horrible. It’s to the point I don’t even like going to the doctor. I realize I might be an exception here, but boy do boomer like their doctors, because boomer doctors treat fellow boomers much better, and actually listen. I’m a man, I’ve heard young women are taken even less seriously! Meanwhile my MIL can walk into her Dr, complain, and walk out with a handful of benzodiazepines! 😂 I don’t want anything like that but WTF 🤷‍♂️

Hi everyone,
I’d like to engage in a thought experiment that touches on the foundations of faith, particularly concerning the concept of sin. Imagine that Jesus wants to radically change the way you interpret the scriptures. This change is fundamental and deep theologically, possibly involving the full meaning of omnipotence, omniscience, and omnipresence, or what it means to be fully God and fully man.
Now, consider this: if you were able to accept this change in theology, you would never have to worry about sin again, in any way. You would no longer feel any kind of worry or anxiety about sin ever again in your life.
My question is: What would it take for you to make such a jump in theological understanding?
To explore this, I believe several factors might come into play:

1. Divine Revelation: The change would need to be rooted in a clear and undeniable revelation from Jesus. This could involve a profound personal encounter or vision that aligns with biblical truths. 2. Scriptural Consistency: Any new theological understanding must be consistent with the core messages of the Bible. A re-examination of key biblical passages with fresh insights that illuminate this new perspective on sin would be critical. 3. Historical and Theological Support: A thorough examination of church history and theological writings would be necessary. Ensuring that the new understanding has roots in the broader Christian tradition, even if it brings a new dimension to it, is important. 4. Communal Validation: The new theology should be discussed, tested, and validated within a community of trusted and knowledgeable believers. Communal discernment helps ensure that the interpretation is not a result of individual error or misinterpretation. 5. Practical Implications and Fruits: The change should produce positive spiritual fruits in the lives of believers. If the new understanding leads to a healthier, more robust faith life, it provides practical evidence of its validity. 6. Philosophical and Logical Coherence: The new understanding should be logically and philosophically coherent. It should make sense within the broader framework of Christian theology, including the nature of God, human free will, and the purpose of creation. 

Considering these factors, what would it take for you to embrace such a radical theological shift?
I’m curious to hear your thoughts and specifics on what you would need to see, experience, or understand to make this leap in your faith.
Looking forward to a great discussion!

Is it normal for a married man to be speaking to another woman about her relationship? Especially making comments like her boyfriend’s an asshole? I mean isn’t that how most guys pick up girls? Through that “friend zone”?
I overheard my husband talking to his friend about this girl at work and how her boyfriend is an asshole. His friend, newly single actually , straight up said he doesn’t talk to his coworkers like that, of which my husband insisted he should.
I don’t understand if he innocently thinks this okay, but considering he is a play boy type who often talks about picking up chicks, and will blatantly check out other women in front of me(and then deny it to my face even though he clearly has whip lash) it also makes me think he knows exactly what he is doing. Should I be concerned?

Now I know the priorities of most Spider-Man media, there's been too many adaptions of the black suit arc to shift the mold beyond the minor situational stuff. But man, where No Way Home leaves Peter, with the duties and responsibilities of Spider-Man more in command and all-consuming like never before, they could do essentially anything. Shift the tone, tear down the iron walls of modern MCU movies with a vengeance. With how Venom's been adapted, a sentient being with desires, wants,, and needs beyond just a wordless dark influence, wouldn't it be disappointing to not explore these uncharted grounds? To just reduce the black suit to yet another 'KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL' voice?
I wanna see Pete and Venom bond beyond the physical. Peter literally has no one to confide in. I'm certainly not suggesting that Peter can't surround himself with a new supporting web of allies, but the symbiote is always supposed to cut deeper than the interpersonal. It knows Peter better than anyone could ever hope, it's a part of him. It's a certain comfort, to have that one hand to hold, one that will never leave, one that offers so much in return for your love, power, solace, a voice to confide in, a warmth to sink in that washes every linger of the outside world from memory. It's what makes the symbiote so dangerous, but also so unflinchingly irresistible. Seductive. That's one thing I really enjoy about Insomniac's take on the arc, the 'we are your friend'. It was a small and underdeveloped piece of character, but the fact that the symbiote wants Peter as badly as he once wanted it. It's a toxic love story. Isn't it crazy that in all the years since the black suit has slithered past the comics, the whole emotional crux of the story, the whole point that leads to Venom in the first place: 'Symbiosis is a two-way street', that's become the exception, not the rule.
But, with Peter left at his most isolated so far, where Spider-Man could so easily become a demanding and draining leech in his life, the symbiote is practically tailor-fit to meet Peter's outstretched hand with open loving arms. I feel like an actual honest relationship between the two, where they both impact each other for good and ultimately bad, would be such a well-needed added zest of depth, beyond 'kill everyone/take over the world', that most Venom adaptions seem to lean towards?
But, with Peter left at his most isolated so far, where Spider-Man could so easily become a demanding and draining leech in his life, the symbiote is practically tailor-fit to meet Peter's outstretched hand with open loving arms. I feel like an actual honest relationship between the two, where they both impact each other for good and ultimately bad, would be such a well-needed added zest of depth, beyond 'kill everyone/take over the world', that most Venom adaptions seem to lean towards.
And on the topic of Venom, instead of Peter defeating him by ultimately punching or burning him into submission, why not open his heart to the symbiote's pain, and rather than rejecting it, treating it like it's a monster devoid of sympathy, hell-bent on his destruction, he offers his hand to it. Throughout most adaptions, it's always Peter's rejection and the sting of anger that leads to Venom's creation, and the symbiote, now hurt and bloodthirsty, whips from re-bound to re-bound of hosts just as rageful as it is, but 100 times more selfish and solely out to fulfill their own deranged hearts. The symbiote treated Eddie much the same way in the early days, it was Flash that ultimately offered the kiss of a new life. It was always that original rejection from PETER that led the symbiote to become such a feared monster. It's Peter's darkness that rears its toothy grin and lashing tongue. In that sense, Peter's poison is the real Venom, Venom only learned to corrupt others through him. I know in extraneous comic lore, there were original hosts that infected the symbiote with rage, and it bonded to Deadpool which drove it insane after the fact and all this extra unneeded baggage. Peter and the symbiote's original love is what spurned that churning hatred. What if this new trilogy acknowledged how Peter impacted the symbiote and attempted to resolve it? In trying to understand it, feeling its pain alongside it, facing his darkness along with it, rather than inflicting it upon the symbiote and calling it evil. We saw a glimpse of Peter's inner poison in No Way Home, so why not expand on it with the black suit, rather than simply 'unleashing it'.

TRIGGER WARNING! (SA, ABUSE, SUICIDE.)
Hi everyone, I've posted before about this incident but I'm just kinda pissed and sad about it randomly so I need a rant. I've also never really gone into my grandmother's part in the very worst time in my life.
So quick recap, dad has always been abusive, it finally got physical 3 years ago. A quick rundown of what happened because I've already posted about this, my parents threw away my childhood toys without asking me, I was devastated and crying a lot, father told me to leave and never come back, I went a few days without eating in my room crying over it all. Dad came to my room to ask what a noise was that he heard, I didn't respond. Stupidly, I thought if he sees how hurt I am maybe he will finally do right by me and tell me sorry and comfort me. Well I'm a fucking idiot cuz nah he decided to throw a bitch tantrum, slamming shit around, cussing, etc. Finally grabbed me, threw me to the ground, put bruises on me, threatened to call the cops on me, because somehow I did something wrong??? Anyway I went to stay with my grandma, my dad's mom.
So here's what happened, I guess technically me and grandma were close, but not super close because she is a Karen and a freaking idiot tbh so it was hard for me to spend time with her. Anyway, I guess I didn't learn from a few days earlier because I was like, maybe something good will come of this terrible situation, me and my grandma will finally get super close. I was hopeful. Well I spent a bad night crying about what had happened to me and having a panic attack. I woke up to my grandma telling me I need to go home, her words were "I can't live like this." What was she talking about you ask? I had cried so much that night I had used an entire box of tissue and it was pilled up in the trash can. Yes. This bitch kicked me out because of that. I guess I was supposed to take the trash out at 4am or something. Meanwhile the whole house smelled like a garbage dump cuz she puts raw chicken in the trash and let's it fester for like a week before throwing it away. But no, I'm the gross one.
Anyway, I was absolutely crushed. I literally had no one who loved me or wanted me. I almost ended up in a homeless shelter. I came so close to just going to the road and hitch hiking with the first man who stopped. I didn't care if I got raped and murdered. I truly, truly did not care. How can someone be so sick in the head that they abandon their abused grandchild?? Not to mention I literally went a few weeks without eating so I could only walk a few steps before I had to sit down cuz I was so weak. And she just threw me away. No one in my family wanted to take me in. Apparently all were dealing with their own shit. I've never been so close to commiting suicide as I was then. I tried to starve myself to death actually. But somehow I made it through.
Well about a year later my grandma wanted to apologize, I let her text me, and this bitch had the nerve to tell me "I'll always be there if you need me." I almost vomited and historically laughed at the same time. Like bro, I literally almost killed myself or ended up raped and murdered because you abandoned me over some dirty fucking tissue in the trash can. What the fuck.
In the end I learned a lesson, never ever expect someone to treat you well, and never have hope that someone will do right by you in anyway. I know some people will be good to me, but I'll never expect it again. I don't ever want to feel that stupid again.
But I have good news, my grandma decided to sell her house to my parents so that they can take care of her until she dies and she doesn't have to go to a home. Well my parents, I guess as a way to apologize, gave the house to me. I'll be honest, if it was only up to me, I'd evict my grandma. I know it's a vindictive and cruel thing to do but I truly don't care. But sadly it's not only up to me, parents would have to sign off on it. So instead, I'm just going to move in, with my dog and cats and probably a roommate as well. We won't technically be living together though, my parents are having the house divided, I'll have 2 rooms, a bathroom, and a kitchen, and she will have her bathroom, room, and a new kitchen installed. There will be a wall separating us so kinda like an apartment. She is not happy at all lmao and I couldn't be happier. I'm going to be the absolute worst neighbor ever.🤣☺️😈
(Judge me if you want to, maybe I'm evil or something but hey, I get it from my dad's side of the family so it comes naturally.)

I can't get the workshop to work, I made several new games, deleted mods and nothing worked, I looked it up to see if I was doing something wrong in getting allied but I did it right, I talked to Deb, did the task, then Kesslers task and she said I could use the workshop (in the NPCs on words) but every single time I go over to the workshop it says I'm not allied with the settlement and is old man stocken supposed to give you a quest when you talk to him, I've been going to bunker hill a lot and I swear on the PlayStation version I think you're able to talk to him and he gives you a quest, Stockton is broken as well, instead of being in the white building he is outside, I know he isn't supposed to be there, I'm pretty sure you're supposed to be able to take to him and he is supposed to say something about his daughter or something, I don't know what mod has broke bunker hill.
Sorry for the many posts, I always do this, I remembered something after I posted the other one that includes pictures of LO.
P.S. on the PlayStation version I never did the bunker hill quests, I'm pretty sure I talked to Stockton directly like a total of two times, that was when I had just starting playing fallout, I was new to exploring bunker hill and I only found out about the quests in bunker hill two days ago, I only recently saw the workshop, the two years I've had this game I didn't notice it, I think at the time I only had: Cheat Room (PS4) then soon after I download STS (PS4) cause the trash bothers me, then I added the Addon soon after and found portable workshop mod and I only used STS, the Addon, portable camping mod, i dont like making myself a god in fallout cause if it's not a challenge it is boring so I don't use much in the Cheat room, I only use unlimited Carry weight, jet boost without armor, i grab all the scrap and consumables and sometimes ammo or some junk to sell so i have caps, I dont like giving myself so much caps cause it's a boring cheat, it made everything too easy for me. The STS mod soothes me, I put I music and clean up the settlement and with unlimited scrap I can decorate how I wish, it's like power washing simulator.
The Dogmeat mod just makes it so you can have Dogmeat and a companion with you at the same time, it doesn't use any cheats, it was originally supposed to be like that from what I read.
Again, you have to see the other post for LO to know what I am saying.
I have not yet had the chance to use the intimate mod and I had a mod where everyone said flirty lines to female character but I think it broke my game so I deleted it as a precaution.

Before we go off on the litany of balance issues, log in issues and all that I just want to say- as least as far as Reddit and ingame chat and role playing goes. The first couple months of HD2 genuinely felt like a once in a generation gaming experience.
Everything was mysterious and hilarious; it didn’t matter if a weapon was shit, it didn’t irritate people. The concept of being in a frankly low-quality military operation with a Orwellian PR team was lighting in a bottle and we ate that shit up.
I think the SONY debacle awoke something really toxic in the community and I have concerns if that genie is ever going back in the bottle.
For reference I’m 91 and play 8-9 exclusively for major orders; I did a small tour on the creek and watched the triumph of the community shattered in an instant when the bots returned with their main fleet; beautiful cruel story telling on display.
In the last week, not because of the mechanics or the game but because of the playerbase I have put the game down. I don’t know if I will pick it back up until the next content drop.
I don’t blame the devs or the corporations, in a rare case I blame the players.
This game is quickly becoming what a lot of seasoned players feared it would. Over concerned with numbers and optimizing the fun out of the game.
The effect is HD2 the hilariously flawed and janky opus it could’ve been is now going to be subjected to the same rote game of number crunching and meta chasing that is emblematic of the live service industry.
SONY bent the knee to community pressures ; what folks don’t appreciate is that force goes in multiple ways.
With our reactions to AH we are giving SONY leverage to dictate the state of the game to AH because we have forsaken our power at the moment of its attainment. We are currently exhibiting little other than an infantile communal weakness.
When we needed unity and focus we devolved to bitching and petty grievance.
Put on your big person pants and fight the bots, use the weapons and learn that coordinating does more heavy lifting than any weapon or stratagem can.
Everyone wants to be a hero or one man army when the reality of this game offers neither; it never did, and once people lost the thread and the joke of it then the community became shittier.
I know this is a rant but good lord the amount of adolescent angst on this and the main Reddit drives a man to distraction.
Have a good day and liberty guide you true.

I'm a '19/F' year old student in college dating a '18/M' guy I been with for going on three years now I have a overall good relationship with my parents though we often butt heads a lot...throughout my whole life I had a "problem with boys" it started when I was '14/F' I started dating of course being young and dumb i did dumb things like texting inappropriately. My parents would go through my phone and find thing an make me break up with them even if we wasn't texting inappropriate as well...When I was '15/F' I met a guy who was Muslim who I started dating when I was '16/F' and he ended up sharing at part of his religion with me I got very close with his family but my parents are Christian so when they saw I was changing my views on my own religion and actually starting to love Islam and wanted to convert they forced me to break up with him i didn't want to because he was also my friend so I left home and this caused a big deal... my grandma called the police on me and I got brought home being forced to now see or talk to him, quite my job( I worked with him), and not graduate early (I was ahead and had great grades in High school). A year later I met my current Boyfriend who I truly love and I know loves me. Me and my boyfriend are '16/M' and '17/F' I am a year older. I try to hide him from my parents because I know they would probably tell me to break up with him or start going through my phone again. Which they did go through my phone and saw I was dating him and wanted me to break up with him but I didn't We continue dating and we wasn't perfect we were young a dumb as well when we first started dating we wasn't allowed to go on dates because we both didn't have a car so I try to sneak to his house ar got caught then a year ago I sneaked him into m house for a day while my parents where gone on vacation he felt uneasy because he knew my parents are strict and didn't want to get me in trouble but we did anyway and we were successful... Until six months later me and my dad had been arguing because of how I felt he treats me (we have a rocky relationship and when me mad he will ignore me for weeks) this turned into a family problem because my grandma and mom got into it and he felt I was putting all the blame on him. So one day I came home after going to meet my boyfriend ate the park (they knew I was meeting him) I came home and we got into a big argument. My dad said he doesn't talk to me because how I act and told me how he had on camera me sneaking my boyfriend in the house. I felt really bad and knew I was wrong but confused why he just now decided to confront me about it. But why forced me to break up with my boyfriend i didn't want to because I love him and we had been dating now for two years as well as I was '18/F' but to go into college so I packed my stuff and tried to leave, my boyfriend wanted me to come stay with him till I could move into my dorm but my dad got mad and got physically aggressive and stoped me( gave me bruises on my arm). I brought all my college supplies myself man's my mom broke it in the front yard with a hammer... I even gave them my car keys and was but to leave to my boyfriend house in the Uber I bought. But they forced me to stay and break up with him also I wasn' allowed to go live on campus anymore. Now a year later my parents hate him and since I live in there house I'm not allowed to see him( we met one a week at my college to see each other secretly). They said I did this to myself and I always blame them… I don’t know what to think.

Y’all, I am 29 years old and escaped with my life via the hospital and child protective services at age 17 like two months before turning 18.
The amount of therapy I’ve had even from as a minor and now as an adult with an actual health plan from a good job, oh my God. Self-help also spirituality shout out to Abraham Hicks and Heidi Prieb.
I am literally learning how to date for the first time because I did take five years basically off besides the occasional first or second date. As a young adult, I exposed myself to the harms of casual relationships, a.k.a. men who wanted to use me for my body, but didn’t give a shit about me as a human being so I stopped doing that around age 21 and had a terrible boyfriend and then took a year long dating break at age 24. it was the pandemic and I took three straight years off which were partially religiously motivated because I got really into religion under the confines of the isolation and the lockdown which were so triggering and retrospect so that’s +3 years now at four years of abstinence and nondating, Then I tried to date a man who really was not respectful of my sexual boundaries, so I waited another nine months before trying to date again and encountered almost the same exact situation and now took another eight months off and dated my first really nice guy ever. Like my college boyfriend was so nice but I was so mentally damaged from horrendous child abuse that I had to focus on myself and go into inpatient eating disorder recovery And just broke up.
Point is, as a new adult who is sort of new to adult dating, especially from a regulated healthy place, I dated this nice guy for about a month before he decided he didn’t want to commit. I was so self-conscious with this guy and even previous first or second dates that I didn’t come from a nice home and a nice family or a nice background. Now I’m realizing? Do you know what the big realization is?
I’ve been my fucking mother for 20 years and I did a fantastic job like I literally turned out so well I’m healthy with no criminal record and a good job and no debt because I worked like a fucking dog to get out of debt and to get so much self-help and so much therapy and so much just pouring into myself even when it felt like I was caving in. I literally have 20 years experience raising a healthy child. So I don’t have anything to be ashamed of when it comes to the dating arena. In fact, I’m meeting a lot of guys who come from “nice families, but they are in mashed with their mothers. I think that’s probably a big step up in general but still. I am dating guys who have partially dysfunctional family dynamics. They just don’t know about it so even if they themselves judge me, I know about enough about myself, especially literally as a mother to myself, I don’t have kids, that I’m like holy shit. I just dodged a bullet on that person where they probably think they dodged a bullet on me too. I’m just so proud of the job. I’ve done parenting myself even though technically I was a new mom at age 9 years old, especially 18 years old reaching my tween years and now at 29 I feel like I’m just now turning 20 mentally although I have the finances of a 29-year-old. I am so fucking proud of myself and I’m so fucking proud of anybody who had to raise them self. Please give yourself credit for that and never feel self-conscious, simply see a dating partner who has enough fucking empathy or understanding of their own privilege. Love you all you are all doing an amazing job

Hi! This is going to be a long one/rant and story because I really don’t know who to talk to about this in real life because I’m not in therapy and I’m so embarrassed to be feeling this way knowing I made all the choices to be here and people are already flying in from out of state to come to our wedding. Also I’m diagnosed adhd incase any of yall are wondering what’s wrong with me once I tell you all the decisions I made to get here. I am getting married in three months and have a son who is 15 months old. My now fiance 28m and I 27f met whenever we were thirteen years old in middle school and started a tumultuous up and down / on and off again relationship. We were together all the way up until junior year in high school and we broke up. I come from a broken home and he does not. Looking back I realize how much of me staying with him and trying to keep his attention stemmed from my abandonment issues that I must have had from my own parents. After we broke up he joined a gang in my local hometown and I was still in love with him so I decided to still be involved with him even though I was not in a relationship with him. I ended up losing my virginity to him while we were not together just because I wanted to be with him and we said we were friends with benefits but really I was just in love with him and thought by doing that maybe he would want to be with me again but he didn’t and continued to sleep with other girls and do drugs. I also started doing drugs like Xanax and smoking to fit in with him and be cool. I ended up getting a horrible tattoo because one of the other girls he was also seeing had a bunch of tattoos. I dropped out of my high school college courses and ended up going to jail for marijuana in high school and got kicked out of cheer and softball. I ended up on probation and having to be drug tested for a year. Within that year after being heart broken and realizing nothing I did would make him change into who he was before he got involved in our local gang or make him want to be with me… I ended up enrolling in college and getting accepted to a university where I would move about two hours away from our home town to live on campus and study to be a nurse. While on probation, so I couldn’t really party or anything in college which was good (even though I was never really addicted to anything and it wouldn’t be that hard for me) I wanted to save money for a car so I ended up getting a job at the hooters next to my college and was in college full time and working at hooters. My sister happened to go to that same college before I did and live in that town with her ex bf and they would give me rides to and from work back to campus. Low and behold after about two semesters of me being in college and finally feeling like I was moving on from him, he came back messaging me and telling me he missed me and wanted to be with me again. I was stupid and so excited that I agreed and asked him to come see me at college where he would stay for the weekend and we would have an amazing time. I felt so good about myself doing what I was doing and being able to show my growth. Despite all that he was still able to convince me to leave school and come back to be with him and live with him and go to the college near our hometown and work at the hooters near our hometown. I had already felt like I didn’t want to be a nurse at the time because my sister who was a nurse told me you could never leave the state as a nurse if you get your license there (which she didn’t know at the time that you could) and I knew I didn’t want to stay where I was from and wanted to eventually travel. So I decided to leave and move back with him in his bedroom at his parents house where I would work at the hooters close to our home town and never enroll in the college. He would eventually break up with me while I was at work one day even though I was living with him and since I didn’t have a car he continued to take me back in forth from work and I continued to live with him and continued to be in love with him while he committed to the fact that he didn’t want to be in a relationship but wanted to marry me one day and just wasn’t ready for anything right now and still wanted to have sex with me which I did. From working at hooters I had auditioned for the calendar and ended up being really liked by the photographer and started doing some modeling from that which was super exciting for me because I always was interested in that and the pictures we took would blow up and I started getting well known in my area for modeling even though they were just pictures and I wasn’t making any money off of it. Eventually a guy came into hooters telling me about working as an exotic dancer and how much they could make and I still needed a car really badly and was desperate to get out of my ex’s (now fiance) house. So I told him I would be waitressing and that I heard the waitresses make good money there and asked him to give me a ride there one day and so he started giving me a ride everyday. The money was so good to me and the most money I had ever seen. I ended up staying in a hotel closer to the club I worked at and sometimes he would come stay with me and I would just uber to work. Eventually I had gotten a car which I was so happy about. A couple of weeks after I got a car I ended up getting sucked into human trafficking with a friend where I would live in a house with multiple girls for 6 months and go to work at the club every day of the week except Saturday and Sundays. I wasn’t doing anything extra just dancing but the money was going to some random guy. It’s crazy I know. I was stupid and young and my family were not concerned for me at all or involved in my life. unfortunately my friend is just now leaving that situation. I got out without anything no car or nothing and had nowhere to go so back to my exes I went where I decided I was going to buy a cash car again and I worked everyday like I was used to saved money and got a car. Moved to my sisters and stayed with her for a little where i decided I didn’t want to dance anymore and I got a job as a bottle service girl and then waitressing at another waitress. I continued modeling because it made me happy and I never told anyone the truth about the deep things that were happening in my life except for my now fiance. So nobody had no idea about me dancing or the human trafficking or anything. Everyone just knew I modeled. I ended up getting an apartment with some friends and One day I got the urge to go to California randomly and at my waitressing job I was handed $800 and I took it as a sign and booked a flight the next day. Where I went by myself my first time ever on a flight with no plans at all. The day I got there I got asked to be in a commercial two days later. My roommate and her friends flew out there to get me and she ended up being able to be in the commercial with me which ended up on tbs but I had to go back home to my apartment and responsibilities and couldn’t leave my roommate stranded. Even though months later we would end up getting in an argument and I’d move out and move back with my ex (now fiance) where I would continue to work and model (for free) and went back to the club to dance and then my sister ended up going to California for a travel nursing assignment and her and her bf broke up and she asked me to move with her. I had nothing else here, my ex was still saying he didn’t want to be in a relationship, he was consistently sleeping with other girls while we lived together and expected relationship things from me. I was paying for everything for him. I paid for him while he was in school for audio engineer, his gas, lunch, school clothes, shopping, I helped him open his own studio and bought his equipment and Mac for it, even though his parents were very involved in his life. I got all his family bday gifts and Christmas gifts every year. He was honestly just using me but I was so in love and blind. He encouraged me to go to California too so I had nothing else there for me, if he had told me to stay and he wanted to be with me I would’ve. I flew out on my 21st birthday and met my sister and Vegas where we would have such a great time and my ex spent that day hanging out with a girl that tried to fight me and didn’t even tell me happy birthday, I was crying in the bathroom in Vegas until my sister shook me and told me to get it together we’re in Vegas. I was so heart broken to be leaving him but he didn’t care. I got to LA and I instantly started modeling on day one I booked a photo shoot where I met a guy that reminded me of my ex (I know) but we instantly clicked and he was 7 years older than me. We ended up talking for a little bit and pursuing something even though I wasn’t ready emotionally but he didn’t really care and I was kind of star struck a little because he was a music producer for a very famous musician and he was very persistent but that’s another story. I ended up booking a music video as a main girl for my ex’s (now fiance) favorite artist. When it came out it was crazy because I felt like the universe and God was just blessing me for leaving that situation and I knew he would see it because he was so obsessed with that artist and it shook up the whole small town I was from. After that I booked a lot of cool jobs like Sephora and worked with a lot of companies, and did some music videos for other super famous artists, and walked in fashion shows and modeled for clothing brands etc. I was working all the time as an extra to pay my bills and I was meeting cool people. I was always getting invited to celebrities parties and just having such a fun time. I decided to start getting into acting instead and started going to acting school where a lot of well known celebrities also went to and I started having meetings with very popular directors and I was being mentored by famous directors and another person that created an tv entertainment channel that I won’t say here also mentored me a lot and got me a lot of meetings with these people and would go to dinners and stuff etc with a list celebrities. I truly was living the life. And coming from where I can it was almost a dream. I had gotten in a relationship my first year there with that other guy I mentioned who ended up being super possessive of me but he treated me like a queen in the sense of paying for everything, giving me a safe space to tell my feelings, open up, the sex was amazing, he would take me on trips, took me out of the country for the first time. We ended up not working out due to lifestyle differences and just being at two different places and wanting different things. He wanted to move out of the country and have a farm and I wasn’t ready to do that as I wanted to focus on my career. (But I would die to move out of the country on a farm now ironically and he is doing just that now like he said he would haha) anyway, I ended up having my own studio apartment by myself that I loved so much and was so proud of. My sister had moved to Montana and it took a lot for me to get my apartment like staying in a house with other girls for a little to sleeping in my car and at a spa for a couple days. When I would fly home or drive home to see my family I would always see my ex, everytime. We kept a friendship and sometimes I would still help him out if needed, he was interning at a church through his school for audio engineering and recording people at his studio in our hometown. By this time I was going to New York and Miami also sometimes and doing work there. I wasn’t as stressed about bills anymore. I was seeing guys every now and then but not at all interested in a relationship, my heart was still healing from the past and both my exes but mainly my first (now fiance). I was super focused on my career and optimistic, I was used to the grind and in no way ever thinking of quitting. It just wasn’t an option because I knew I would make it wherever that would be because to me that is all I had for me and all I ever knew I wanted and the only thing that saved me. Skip to around October 2019 I had found out about a girl my ex was seeing and it crushed me. He was doing with her just like he was with me though. Just “friends with benefits” I was living in my apartment in LA still and my uncle that helped raise me was getting really sick back home and put on hospice so I decided to take a trip back to see him. I would go to restaurants in my state and near my home town and people would ask to take pictures with me, and at the little ceasars drive through someone asked if I was me and stuff it was crazy because I hadn’t been home in awhile and I felt like what I was doing was finally paying off and people were recognizing me. It was surreal. I ended up going to see my ex. I had such a fear of losing him to this other girl for some reason. I was so scared he would get her pregnant or get in a serious relationship since I was gone so far away and I would never be with him, I would end up sleeping with him again and the girl found out and drove by his house mad and cussing me out and throwing stuff at me. We ended up getting in a fight which is so embarrassing and beneath me. I ended up crying to him that I wanted to be with him and don’t know why he never wanted to be with me which at this time he honestly was not even in my playing field anymore. He told me if I wanted to be with him I had to move back to my hometown.. my heart dropped to my stomach and I knew it wasn’t what I was supposed to do but I said okay… all because this is what I had wanted all those years. I decided to stay where the next two years all I would think about everyday was I was making the wrong decision and needed to go back to my life. My hometown had nothing for me.. COVID hit a couple months after me being there and we were terrified. We ended up getting everything out of my apartment and moving into a house around the corner from his parents. I had to tell him how I liked to communicate now without yelling and stuff which I learned from the boyfriend I had in LA and that I wasn’t going to put up with that disrespect but he never listened. Eventually everything went back to normal. I ended up going back to the club again dancing because I didn’t want to go backward and model here. He never wanted me to go back to LA even for a little bit even though that’s where my career and heart was so I had no idea what to do with my life. I started waitressing as well and getting back on my adhd meds. People started pressuring us to get pregnant and we tried for a year and 6 months. The month I found out I was pregnant before I knew, I quit my job and decided I was going to move back and get my life back. Two days later I found out I was pregnant…. Finally after trying for over a year. Our relationship was toxic just like the past he always yelled, I could never talk to him about my feelings without him saying I was trying to fight, he spit in my face once, threatened me, put his hands on me, he would tell me he was going to take my baby away from me as soon as I had it. I started asking him about getting married while I was pregnant and the proposal wasn’t even that. He got mad at me for asking one day and walked in the room and handed me the ring. It didn’t fit because I was pregnant & it was $27 (not that that matters but the proposal sucked).. he drained both my bank accounts and they closed it, charged my credit card up and put me in debt, he has not let me do anything I want to do like school or anything. He is so bad with money. He has an action figure addiction and at one point was spending 3k on action figures every month and turned one of the rooms in our house into a collection room so I had to take everything out of my closet and put my sons crib in there for the first year of his life. we have good times and I feel comfortable with him. He knows everything about me but he doesn’t respect me and sometimes I feel like he is intimidated by me. The sex isn’t good at all we always just ask “do you want to have sex” he never gives oral or foreplay, I never get pleasure. He’s an amazing dad though and loves his son. We have the most sweet and beautiful little boy now who I love so much and he loves him also. He’s very attentive to his son. But I still feel unheard. I can’t talk about my feelings. If I do it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t change anything. He is so defensive and we never communicate for a solution it’s always just pointing fingers. I have started yelling again because I’m so used to it now and I hate it because I grew up like that and I finally grew out of it until I got back with him and recently started again and now he throws it in my face and knows I begged him not to do it forever but he never stopped and now I am too. I’ve asked him to take me to the movies and he hasn’t still. I just ask for more romance and stuff but it just feels like I have a roommate. I have nothing now. I had my car and we traded it in for a new car that he wanted. I always dreamed of the next car I’d get once I paid it off but he got it & it’s in his name now so I paid it off for nothing. I’m driving around his dream car. I’ve been planning our wedding since I birthed our son and everything is going good. Money is tight. He works at the church now full time and makes about 45k a year or so, my son has been waiting to start daycare for awhile so I have been home with him. I’ve tried starting jobs multiple times but he is against it unless it’s super fast money like going to the club which I am so repulsed by and absolutely hate it now. I tried going back to college but my old college won’t release my transcripts for fasfa because I owe them money. I started cosmetology school a few months ago which he was all for but two months in freaked out and him and his mom guilt tripped me that we can’t handle this right now and he was having a hard time doing the night time routine for the baby while I was at school so I had to leave and now owe that’s school for my kit unless I enroll again in 128 days. I also miss modeling so much and sometimes think I can start again but it’s been five years. My body is so different too after a baby. Everything I want is a no go. Especially moving out of our hometown. He says he wants to but I don’t think he does. We are constantly at his moms and dads and they tell us all the time we aren’t moving anywhere which is really hard for me as this place is super toxic for my soul. Anytime I get money he spends it. Anytime I save money he spends it. Even if it does go towards our bills. His action figure habit is almost nonexistent now and he has grown a lot in the past few months from that since I demanded my son have his own bedroom after his first bday and all his figures are in boxes now and told him he could turn the shed into his man cave. He says we can’t save because we have nothing to save after bills but I believe in saving anything even $5 a paycheck. It’s doable. I grew up poor so this is nothing to me but after living the lifestyle I lived in LA and going out with guys that respected me and cherished me it’s hard. I know nobody is perfect but we are about to get married and I’m scared… I have nothing though anymore. I’ve threatened to leave a couple times and he says he will take me to court and take my baby. I’m scared he might. I don’t want my son to be angry like him or not respect women how he does. In public he’s a saint. He also has a very supportive family that it’s almost toxic. They all blame me for his anger issues and say I make him that way. But he’s been punching walls since I met him in 8th grade. I know it’s not because of me. But I have nobody else and nowhere else to go. No money. No car. I’m at the bottom again where I was before. Only difference is now I have a son. And we are getting married in three months and I can’t call it off. I am older now and looking back on my life I realize he maybe truly never loved me and I was just so desperate for love. I got myself here nobody else. I accepted everything, even when my gut told me not to. ( he is not just horrible, he’s a great person just with some bad qualities like everyone but I’m tired of feeling stuck with someone that never truly wanted me and doesn’t care to grow in some ways or show me )
Please help.. what do I do?

Just out of curiosity. Would you ladies accept a lower ppm from a man that you found attractive? Like in a vanilla life you’d likely sleep with him for free anyway. So as a SD offering a lower ppm than you’re used to, would you take it? Or would you stick to your standards of what a ppm should be? 🤔

Honestly, it's emotionally draining, to be honest. I know that I’m young, that I’m only 27, but giving myself the opportunity to meet new people and date and watch them never choose me is quite sad. Everything’s always going great, and then they just disappear or choose another woman.
It’s like no one’s ready for me. I know I’m young, but this age makes it so hard, especially during the weekend. All my friends have their relationships, are planning or about to get married. Even my sister, who’s the same age as me, and is never home cause she’s always with her boyfriend who adores her.
I have a great job. Great friends. Great family. I have hobbies. I travel whenever I want which is what I love the most. But sometimes it gets so lonely, not having another person at the other side of the bed hearing how my day went. I know that I don’t need it, that I’m a full and complete person, but I just crave it.
I know my boundaries. I know when to leave when another man says he’s not ready for a relationship or not looking for anything serious. But I’ve walked away so much… I’m tired of meeting people and then walking away.
It’s like that first interest in me is very ephemeral. It’s like I don’t have the capacity of making someone stay.
I know I’m a great woman, and I have accomplished and went through many things in life that show me how strong and capable of anything I am. I learned how to take care of myself at a young age, and I know take care of my family. But sometimes I can’t help but wonder who takes care of me? Who listens to me?
I haven’t had healthy relationships or relationships that last more than a year. Even if it’s been a while, I take full responsibility for past relationships and staying where I wasn’t that appreciated.
But now I feel like I’m ready, because I know what I deserve and the love, loyalty, and respect I’m able to give. But I’m just so tired of the process… of meeting people who won’t give two shits about me in two weeks. Of meeting men who treat you like the best for two months and then tell you they just wanted to fuck and are not ready for commitment. I’m tired of lies, of everyone playing out a fucking character, etc.
It’s lonely. It’s tiring.
I know this is irrelevant and I can’t find words to make it sound less pathetic, but I’m very physically attractive. I tend to get a lot of compliments from men, but that’s just it. It’s just like I’m beautiful, or sexy, or gorgeous, but at the end of the day I’m not the woman someone wants to meet and have dinner with.
I don’t attract people that truly want to know me. That ask about me. I never feel that reciprocity, and if I do, it never lasts.
There’s always another woman or life or just something better than being or try anything with me.

Hi throw away, I’m at a loss I 25f 27M have been married for 5 years coming up in September and together for 7. We grew up extremely religious /in a cult and we just 2 years ago officially (mentally) have left.
Our religion really put our sexuality to shame and I realize that it’s a big play in this problem. And therapy is very needed. I have been in therapy for a few years, but haven’t been a couple months (money).
However we’ve been together for 5 years and our sex life has not been fantastic, it was chaotic and crazy and good in the beginning, and technically before we were married it was considered “wrong” and so that added some thrill, guilt, shame and a range of emotions I’m still confused by. Right before we got married he did a cycle of testosterone and then stopped after a couple months which I know leads to a decrease in desire. He recently went back on last year as his levels never went back to what they were.
Anyways ok my problem, my husband is a very loving caring man, that doesn’t seem to want to fuck me. He started using pornography back in December 2022 and lied about it when I asked if he did, even when I suspected it I tried to ask him to use it together. He shot this idea down . In October 2023 our anniversary I see he’s been using looking at these pretty ladies and I get the idea, I’m devastated as we barely have sex maybe twice a month IF THAT. Anyways I lose it I try to breakup with him because I’ve had multiple discussions on wanting more sex/wanting to be desired. He goes to say the ladies spark his desire for porn blah blah whatever he whacking it I get it but he says he does it 3 times a week. What I have previously voiced how much I would like to have sex in a week. He used this as an outlet I get it, some people might think porns ok it’s just not something I’ve been super comfortable with and I’ve vocalized this. The lack of sex and porn and just the overall way he’s acted about this has just really devasted me and broken me and killed my confidence.
So in October I gave him a year to get his shit together and try to woo me a bit, I’ve tried so many things to try to entice him I’ve tried lengerie, toys, wigs anything to make him happy and he doesn’t seem to want any of it. He verbalizes he wants me and he wouldn’t be here if he didn’t but his actions say otherwise. I’m the only one to initiate sex, it’s breaking me down so much I’m so numb to it I feel like an ugly thumb. I’m so desperate to be fantasized by him I’m just so lost.
I’ve asked him to go to therapy and us to go to couples counseling and he’s been twice now since October when I’ve asked him to. He has denied couples therapy and when I gave him an ultimatum a couple weeks ago he agreed but still hasn’t booked any therapy .
Nothing has changed I’m so fucking upset he’s such an amazing guy otherwise, but I feel like we are roommates there’s not sexuality. I don’t want to knock the actual sex but it’s so boring he seems like an inanimate doll, that wants to eat pussy and wants to fuck but like is soulless if that makes sense. He never verbalizes anything and I’m losing it I think it might be over I don’t want it to be over please anyone please give me advice. I’ve never barely dated or had much experience with anyone else and a life without him sounds so awful and heart wrenching but I’m not getting what I need I have no idea what to do. Everything is falling apart
Edit1: I realize this is really garbled I might make another post when I’m not freaking out as much

My best friend (25F) is currently living with her parents (56 years old) and brother (21M). She is currently applying for a loan to fund her master’s degree. While in the midst of this, her mother constantly degrades her saying she is “committing sins by not doing anything around the house”, called her a “whore” for having dated multiple guys in the past (mind you she is now two years single), and blaming her for her dad having a stroke simply because she is still living at home and not having a job, and “do more around the house”.
My best friend, let’s call her Jane, sleeps in her room a lot and feels tired all the time. She said sleeping is the only way she can mentally escape. At first I thought the environment at her house must be bad, but lord, I underestimated how bad it is. I saw everything first hand during a video call. Her mom would barge into her bedroom at random times and spew verbal abuses, then leave to do something else and hum a song, then after a few minutes comes back into her bedroom to hurl another barrage of verbal abuses. It’s was like an unpredictable switch being turn on and off. Jane can’t even lock the bedroom door because the banging would never stop and her mom would never stop shouting. When Jane enjoys something, like watching Netflix or reading a novel, or eating her favorite dish, her mother seems unable to let her be happy and always bring up Jane’s insecurities and whether she will get to go to university in a passive aggressive, jabbing way.
Jane got into Queens Mary University and is waiting for her loan application to be processed. She cooks breakfast for her family everyday and help around the house around 1/3 of the time. She helps looking after her sibling. She takes online certification courses and is actively applying for jobs. But doing these things are not yet yielding results in ways that her mother wants to see. She lost do much weight and since last year was diagnosed with Bipolar Personality Disorder.
I don’t know what I can do to help. Her father is a calm and kind man who is the only one that treats her gently in the house, but the way he goes about intervening with Jane’s mother behavior is too passive. He always calmly telling his wife to “calm down and talk to her nicely” but there is no sense of authority at all. The father is also the only one financially supporting the entire family and recently got a stroke diagnosis. His advice for Jane was “don’t stay in your room and sleep all the time. Come outside and nice to your mom, don’t take her words seriously”.
What do y’all think Jane can do if leaving the house is impossible at the moment?

I'm not sure exactly what I'm looking for. Assurance that it gets better from people who have been here? Advice on what you'd do in my position? Commiseration from those who understand?
I have been with my DH for 9 years. BM is very narcissistic and used to be extremely HC but we don't really hear from her anymore. DH has sole physical and legal custody for nearly a year and a half of SS14 due to HCBM being emotionally abusive and educationally neglectful. But now that some time has passed, SS has placed her back on a pedestal and makes all kinds of excuses for her behavior. I get the eye rolls and silent treatment for asking him to pick up after himself and she gets a daily phone call, "I love yous," and constant excuses made for her behavior. She can do no wrong and most days, I can do no right.
I feel like I'm in an abusive relationship if I'm being honest. Not with my DH, but with my SS. Our relationship feels so fragile. I can't parent him because he'll just snap at me, or give me the silent treatment. I can't treat him like I treat my bio kids because he doesn't love me like my bio kids do. His feelings for me are extremely conditional, plus he has been trained by a spiteful, terrible "mother" that he has to choose between us.
I only have four more years of SS living in my home, but do I really want to feel this way about one of the adult children in our lives forever too? And do I really want to feel this way in my home for the next 4 years of my other kids' lives? I'm really not sure. I can't fathom not being with my husband or putting our kids through a divorce but man...I'm not sure I can handle this forever.