I want to love you sayings

Hello there! Welcome to what is likely going to be a long, rambly post. I'm going to structure this as though I were answering job interview questions, because let's face it, dating is a glorified job interview for a relationship/getting laid.
Oh, and to save some of you the time reading this (though I did spend a while writing it mind you), I'm 5'5, and it's perfectly fine if that doesn't work for you. I have preferences too! Anyway...
Tell me About Yourself.
Ah, this one is a classic to start off with, glad you asked (or told me to elaborate? Same idea)!
First and foremost, I am a nerd. My favorite day of the week is Sunday, because that's when my D&D game happens (It's actually Pathfinder, but I say D&D because most people are not into the hobby), and this account is named after the character I play in that very game! Feel free to ask for more details at the risk of an overly excited explanation. I also play video games, usually single-player CRPGs, but lately I've been playing Hades and I like being on voice call when I do that.
Professionally I'm... still in school. Here's a lengthy, detailed discussion as to why that is: anxiety sucks. Phew, that was so lengthy, glad that's over! Anyway, I'm a nuclear engineering major and plan to graduate in 4 semesters. In all seriousness, I don't mind going over the full story once we're talking.
What are Some of Your Hobbies?
Lists are helpful for this one! So here we go:

• D&D. Yes I mentioned it already, I'm doing it here again because it's so nice I'll mention it twice! Also, I find that lists are more impressive with more bullet points. Longer bullet points too, that makes it look even more impressive.
• Hockey. When I'm not looking for potential mates, I spend my time shitposting on the hockey subreddit. I've been to 3 NHL games so far and plan to go to more!
• Anything related to animals. For reference, some of the channels I watch on YouTube are Snake Discovery, Clint's Reptiles and Girl with the Dogs.
• Tech stuff. Electric cars, phones, gadgets, all of it is at least of some casual interest to me.

What do You Want in a Potential Partner?
Someone who's not an asshole, shares some interests with me, willing to do some basic stuff (sharing a picture, voice calling, video calling eventually) and treats me with respect. Honestly, not a long list. Physically, I would prefer someone who's of a thinner-average body type as that is what I am. I've made exceptions to this before though, so if you feel that I'm irresistible and not entirely obnoxious, feel free to reach out.
What I want the most though? Just intimacy. I think that's what we all want at the end. That is why this post is marked as NSFW because I am definitely not opposed to it going that way, but I also go at the pace of my partner and respect their boundaries.
What do You Look Like?
I'm 5'5 as mentioned before, 125 lbs, white, brown hair, green eyes, and have glasses that might as well be made of aquarium glass. Hopefully that gives you a vivid enough picture for now, but an actual picture is worth 1000 words so once we've exchanged a few messages I can share that.
And that, dear reader, is the end of my hopefully well-formatted and not-at-all-obnoxious wall of text. Hope you enjoyed reading it, and I hope to hear from you! If I don't, have a great whatever time of day it happens to be in your timezone!

The stress of the last six months has nearly killed me. Besides the general cratering of the outside world—political strife, climate change, inflated rents, corporate greed, and the baffling resurgence of crew socks—my internal life was falling apart, too. I'm at the point where I can't see a way out of the darkness, and that feeling has only grown in the last few days.
My struggles ramped up exponentially in the last two weeks. It started when my long-term girlfriend and I called it quits after five years. There was no definitive relationship-altering fight or infidelity. It was simply the boring banality of the "roommate-ification" of our lives together. We both felt the shift but never talked about it. Turns out communication is important.
Truthfully, we'd stayed together for so long because we couldn't afford to live apart. Our rent had nearly doubled the last time we re-upped our lease but even that was a bargain compared to what was out there currently. We were trapped by our need to have a roof over our heads.
My job had stagnated, and I couldn't find anything better. I was stuck. Like me, she'd been job hunting as well. Unlike me, she had a master's, and her prospects should've been higher. They weren't. For five months, she applied to hundreds of jobs and couldn't break through. If she got a rejection email, it was a win. Most of the time, the companies never responded.
Finally, she found a great opportunity at a Fortune 500 company. It was an involved process. She nailed the five interviews, and her "test project" was well received. She was offered the position, and it came with a massive pay increase—double her current salary. I was proud of her—she needed a win. We celebrated with pizza and beer that night.
Two days later, she dropped the bomb that she was breaking things off. The relationship ending wasn't a surprise. The timing was. The discussion was brief, and there was zero chance of reconciliation. She declined when I asked if she could stay until the lease ended. Mentally, it would've been too much for her. Two days after that, she moved out, taking half the rent with her. I was stuck in a lease I couldn't afford on my salary for the next six months.
My free time evaporated as I took on two extra gigs to help make ends meet. In addition to my office nine to five, I drove for a delivery app on the weekends and took a part-time night job stocking shelves at a local grocery store. When I wasn't hustling for housing, I slept or ate. I did nothing beyond that. Nothing brings me joy. There is no spark.
This drudgery has become my daily routine, and it's killing me.
To help cover some cost gaps, I've started selling off some of my stuff online. It was just me here, and I decided that the Spartan lifestyle would have to work for now. Anything I could fetch a decent amount for went up for sale. My apartment is so empty now every noise causes an echo.
Before my shift at the grocery store, I agreed to meet someone who wanted to take a look at my kitchen table. It was a lovely table – my ex had obsessed over it – but I didn't see a need at the moment. Now that I was a bachelor, my TV trays became my default kitchen tables anyway. I wasn't planning on any dinner parties in the future anyway.
A couple showed up later than they said they would. It was a bored-looking guy and a fastidious young woman. She made friendly small talk as she looked over the table. Her boyfriend (I think) stayed quiet and played bodyguard. I gave him a friendly nod at one point, and he just looked away. She said they'd take it without trying to talk me down. I took the small win.
She asked if I could help carry it down to their truck. I was running late, but feeling helpful, even for a fleeting few seconds, was worth it. Her silent boyfriend and I hauled the table through the hallway and even managed to avoid hitting the walls the entire way down.
I placed it in their truck, got my money, and turned to leave. The girl said thanks, and the boyfriend finally returned the nod. I gave a weird half-wave to them both and started to walk away when I heard the passenger window being rolled down.
"Hey man," the boyfriend said, his voice higher pitched than I thought it would. "What was up with your brother giving us the evil eye in the lobby when we got here?"
I turned around, "Huh? I don't have a brother."
"A cousin then?"
"My family lives about a thousand miles away. What happened in the lobby?"
"A dude that looked just like you was hiding in a dark hallway in the lobby and staring at my girl's ass."
"Jacob, really," she said.
"I'm sorry that happened, but I had nothing to do with it. We do have the occasional homeless guy meander in. Maybe you saw one of them," I said. "Did he say or do anything bad?"
"Jacob, I asked you to not say something," the girl said, burying her head in her hands.
Jacob's frosty attitude to me made sense now. "He said something about running up that ass. I dunno, he was mumbling. I told him I'd beat his ass if he didn't stop staring. Seemed to shut him up."
"Oh. Well, congrats," I said. "I'll tell the manager. Thanks for letting me know."
"You should do a better job keeping jokers like that out of the building."
"Jacob, he's not a security guard."
"He should still be a man and protect his home."
"Have a good night," I said, ending the conversation and heading back up to my apartment. I had about five minutes to change and head out before I'd be late. Last thing my ego needed was to be fired from my backup job.
Thankfully, I was able to slip into work and not get spotted by my boss. That was the last of the good news, though. We had a massive weekly order come in, which meant I'd be there late, plus someone had called out. Worse, our hand truck had a flat tire, and I spent the next few hours torturing my muscles, schlepping heavy boxes around the store. I soldiered on, counting down the minutes until I left and fantasizing about going to bed for the night.
If wishing for sleep wasn't a sad statement to my mental well-being, nothing was.
I came home after my shift at the grocery store and plopped down on the couch. I had contemplated selling it, but it was an older Ikea number, and I didn't think the value would replace my desire to sit. I could feel my body sink into the cushions, and the day's tension seep out. I was beat and tired to the point that turning on the TV was a chore.
I picked up my phone and thought I'd doomscroll until sleep overtook me. I didn't expect it to be a long scroll, as even the methadone that is my phone has failed me lately. As I lowered myself from a slumped position to a supine one, I heard footsteps outside my apartment door. This was not unusual, but the noise I heard sounded like kid footsteps. That was unusual, as nobody on our floor had kids, and it was almost midnight.
Despite my body screaming at me to not move, my brain suggested I check it out. I rolled myself off the couch and eventually stood up. I listened again and heard the kid running down the hallway. I walked over to my door and looked out the peephole. I didn't see anyone.
"Maybe I'm dreaming," I said to myself. "Maybe I'm not staring out a peephole, expecting to see a kid running down the hall at midnight, but instead, I'm cuddled up in my bed, snoozing." I pinched my arm and felt the pain. I was definitely in the waking world.
I turned to head back to the couch when I heard the running again, this time louder. I opened my door and peeked out into the hallway. Nobody was there. The door from the apartment across me opened up, too. Gloria, a young at heart grandma who was friendly/constantly buzzed in a wine mom kind of way, gave me a once over.
"You heard that, too?" she asked.
"Kids?"
"No rugrats around. I assumed it was some drunk assholes stumbling home from the bar."
I laughed. Gloria was, as always, blunt. "I didn't see any assholes," I said.
"Then you're not watching the right kind of internet videos," she said with a wink and a hoarse cackle.
I blushed. How do you respond to that? I just kind of nodded in agreement and shrugged.
"Gotta get your jollies while you can," she said before adding, "You need some rest, dear. You look like hammered shit." She shut her door and went back inside.
She was right. I felt like hammered shit. Since I wasn't going to solve the case of the mysterious runner and was sure it wasn't some lost kid, I decided to call it a night. I went back inside, shut down the apartment, and crawled into bed.
I thought about watching one of the "right kind of internet videos" but fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.
***
"Your problem is you think the world owes you something."
John, my elderly coworker at the grocery store, was standing by while I unloaded a pallet of cereal. I liked John, and when I first started, we instantly clicked. He's quick with a joke and fun to talk to. He's also about thirty years older than me and speaks with the Boomer combination of accumulated wisdom, backhanded compliments, and fringe conspiracy nonsense. Still, regardless of how couched the kindness is in gobbledygook, he's usually coming from a good place.
"What?" I said, putting a box of Captain Crunch on the shelf.
"You're complaining about your situation, right? Saying it ain't fair. The world took a paddle to your hind quarters? Hey brother, that's the way the cookie crumbles. Gotta just pick yourself up and start over. You're smart enough – figured this job out right quick – you can do it."
The job was wheeling pallets around the store and stocking shelves. It wasn't much to figure out, but I understood his meaning. The other stuff wasn't necessary, though. "I'm just in a funk. I don't see a way forward."
"Hey, so you've bottomed out. No shame in that. Happens to us all. Silver lining, you can only go up," he said before adding, "Unless some other bad shit happens to you like your car dies or your apartment building burns down. But after that, it's only up."
"The apartment building burning down would be a blessing," I said, hoisting another little Captain on the shelf. "The rent is killing me."
"Have you tried negotiating a lower rent? They used to do that when I was your age."
"I think they'd evict me if I even asked."
"Hell, then you'd have at least thirty days, maybe forty, before they'd kick you out. Plenty of time to turn things around."
"Uh-huh," I said, "Any chance you could give me a hand here?"
"My back is screaming like a pretty young thing after prom," he said, holding his back for emphasis.
I didn't push. "Hey, I meant to tell you about some weird shit that happened the other night."
"Lay it on me. I love the strange."
"So, after my shift the other day, I got home around midnight and was flopped on the couch. I heard someone running down the hallway outside my apartment. I wasn't the only one. A few other neighbors heard it, too. When we checked, though, nobody was there."
"That ain't strange," John said, waving his hand, "that's a man who's plowing another man's wife running for his life."
I laughed. "That's not the weird part. So, for the next two nights, it's the same thing. Around midnight, someone runs down the hallway. Only this time, they're trying the door handles as they pass. So, I asked the front desk to check the security cameras, and they do."
"They see a man running away holding his clothes?"
"There wasn't anyone running down the hall," I said, "But the weird thing was, you could see the door handles turning on the video."
"Damn, that's a good one," John said, "You sure it wasn't just a camera glitch. These new ones from overseas aren't as reliable as they want you to think. Chinese probably using them to spy on you, too."
He continued as my brain tried to reconcile John's two opposing comments. "Weird shit happens at night, man. Before working here, I only worked the day shift. Even when they offered me more money to work nights, I turned it down. Even when they promised me a promotion, I turned them down."
In a previous life, John had worked as a paramedic. He came by it after serving in a medical unit in the army. He'd told me he loved the rush of the job, but after a while, the death and hurt in people's eyes got to be too much to handle. But he worked there for almost twenty years. So, the man had a tolerance for shenanigans and odd occurrences.
"Why'd you agree to work nights here?"
"Shit, we're home before the witching hour. This is like late afternoons, at best. But if it was overnights, hell no. Captain Crunch can anchor his own ship to the shelves. I'd take my ass to 7-11 for a day shift before agreeing to work an overnight."
"Something happen to you during the army?”
“I got the clap,” he offered.
I sighed. “What turned you off nights?"
"Oh. I heard enough stories from coworkers to know I didn't want to experience any of that hoo-doo shit," he said, "trying to save someone's life is hard enough without adding in demon kids and ghosts."
"Did your coworkers see demon kids?" I asked, moving on from the good Captain to the Trix rabbit.
He nodded, "They saw too much. I find it odd, even with all the surveillance we have now and all the science we know about these days, that the night still scares us. You ever know someone who worked a night shift?"
I had. My ex. During college, she worked the overnight desk at a hotel for a while. She quit because the job gave her bad vibes. I told John as much.
He pointed and laughed, "See! Don't you find it odd that every person who works at night always has a story of something eerie happening to them? Every person, buster. That's what they call an irrefutable fact."
"Maybe the ghost running down the hallway is an old employee still doing his rounds."
"In that case, keep that door double locked. I'd even wedge a towel under the door just in case."
"Maybe they're friendly? Casper-like in that way."
"You ever heard someone tell you about a friendly ghost outside the funny papers?"
"I'm sure it happens," I said, "The scary ghosts are more popular though."
“We think we know everything there is to know but we are just babes in the woods when it comes to night things.” John shook his head. "Imma tell you one or three things that happened to a guy I worked with back when I first got hired on to chase after corpses in the ambo. Guy's name was Gil. Quiet man, kept to himself. Didn't rock the boat or demand a bigger paddle. Just rowed with us. Good cat to learn under," John said, finally handing me a cereal box.
I took it, and he kept going, "Now, Gil, ya see, he had a little wifey that would pester him about working days. She was a cop and worked evenings at that time, so they never saw each other. When married people can't align their genitals every now and then, it spells doom."
"A little too much information but sure," I said, shelving another box of Trix.
"Probably part of what happened with you and yours," he said. He wasn't wrong, but that didn't mean I wanted to hear it.
John kept on, "Gil finally got approved to move to nights. Little pay boost and a happy, 'fulfilled' wife should've made that man happy. But it didn't. I saw him a few months later, and he had changed. He might've been quiet when he was working with me, but he'd talk to you if you engaged. When I saw him that time, though, oh boy. He looked sick."
"Wasn't a fan of working nights?"
"Wasn't a fan of living anymore is the feeling I got," John said, "After some prodding, he got to talking with me some. Told me he missed days because the nights were messing with him. I thought it had to do with the schedule change, but that wasn't the case. He said he saw things in the dark he couldn't explain. Things that would turn James Brown into James White, ya dig?"
"I...dig," I said.
"Told me they got a call to an abandoned apartment building one night, around three in the morning. Wasn't unusual. Old buildings in the city are where hop-heads congregate and share drugs. Sometimes, the drugs are too much. Sometimes, they find a person passed out or, worse, dead. When you work in the ambo, you aren't scared of death like a civilian. You've been around it. Probably seen a few folks take their last breaths. It doesn't bother you the way Mother Nature intended it should."
He handed me another box, continuing his assist streak, and kept going, "Ambo pulled up, Gil stepped out and looked for someone to talk to. Nobody there, though. Not uncommon. Some people want to help but not be involved. There's not a soul around. He calls out, but nothing comes back. Tells me he turns to get back in the ambulance when he hears a scream from inside the run-down building. They're calling for help. He's gotta go in the abandoned building in the dark."
"No thanks," I said.
"But it don't bother a medic like that. Gil's done a million of these calls. No big deal. He runs into that building but doesn't come back out until twenty minutes later. Just goes missing. After five, the crew heads in to back him up but can't find him. Gil tells me his crew called the cops. It was like he had vanished."
"What happened?"
"I asked him and he got real quiet. Said he fell into some place that looked like here but wasn't here. Said he felt their eyes on him. Judging him. Told me they followed him home and wouldn't leave him be."
"Who?"
John shrugged, "He didn't say. Shut down after that and left. Just walked past me like I was shit on the sidewalk. He quit about a week later. Heard he had a stroke a year later and was a tombstone owner three months after that. Good guy, though."
"Your aversion to overnights makes a little more sense."
"Never in a million years. You don't want something like that coming after you."
"In my case, could it get much worse?" I said with a half-smile.
"Man, I wouldn't even joke about that," he said, making the sign of the cross, "You don't want that shit attachin' itself to you. With your luck, you'd bring him in here, and it'd hop over to me. I can't have a ghost crimping my style."
After a bit, he got called away to sign off on a delivery. I finished out my shift and headed out to the parking lot. When I exited the building and spotted my car, I froze. My doors were all open, and the interior lights were on. Someone had broken in.
I glanced around the lot to see if the thief was still around, but there wasn't another person near me. I walked over to the car and peered inside. My glovebox had been ripped open, and my registration was pulled out, but nothing else was missing.
I found little hand prints in the dirt all along the body and the windows. I held mine up for comparison, and they were about half the size. It must've been some tweens or teens who did this. Maybe they were going to steal some things and got cold feet. I contemplated calling the cops, but since nothing had happened and they wouldn't do anything anyway, there was no reason to delay sleep any longer than I had to. I closed all the doors and climbed inside.
I started the car and heard something rattling in the AC vents. I pulled out my phone and shined the light at the vent. There was a small piece of paper inside. I looked around my car for some tool to pull it out and only found an ink pen and a bent-up paperclip. After McGuyvering the vent for a bit, the paper finally came out.
I held it up and unfolded it. There was a handwritten note. It simply read, "I know you're here. I know you're hiding him. I will find you both, and then it'll be your turn to run the race. We all have to run at some point."
I had no idea what that meant, but my body still provided goosebumps. Who was trying to find me? Who was the second person? Why leave a note in my AC vent? What the hell did run the race mean? I hadn't run a race since elementary school and wasn't planning to do so any time soon. Did they mean the rat race? Because I was basically marathoning that motherfucker already.
"Jesus Christ," I said, shaking my head. "What else, universe?"
As if it were a well-practiced comedy routine, the universe responded. My back passenger door swung open, and I heard footsteps running away from my car. I sprung up and scrambled to get out. There wasn't anyone else in the lot that I could see, but very clearly, someone had been hiding in my backseat.
My nerves were shot already, and this was not something I wanted to deal with at the moment. My brain decided that to avoid a breakdown, I needed to shift into automatic mode and just get back to the safety of my apartment. I'd be more prepared to deal with this – whatever it was – in the morning.
Either that or I'd jump in front of a bus. Both sounded satisfying, albeit in different ways.
***
"There he is," Gloria said as soon as I turned down the hallway. I looked up and noticed a small cabal of my neighbors standing in a semi-circle, waiting for me. They all look displeased.
"Hey guys," I said, confused. "I miss an invite for a block party?"
"What do you have to say for yourself?"
"About?"
"Don't play dumb," another neighbor said, jabbing their finger in my direction.
"I'm not playing," I said, realizing the self-burn only after the words escaped my lips.
Gloria showed me the screen on her phone. It was a static shot of her door from across the hall. She pressed play, and nothing happened for a beat until something darted across the screen. That was the whole thing. I looked up at her, my face twisted up in confusion.
"Well," she said, "What do you have to say?"
"What was that?" I asked.
"That was you!" the pointing neighbor said, pointing harder than I thought possible.
"What?" I said, laughing. "Are you all serious?" They didn't laugh, and I realized they weren't joking. "How can you even tell it's me? It's a blur. Never mind the fact I've been at work for the last five hours. Plus, this blur is half my size. I get we're all weirded out about the Phantom Runner, but it's not me. I swear to God. I don't even have the energy to think about running, let alone the physical desire to."
"Then explain this," Gloria said, slightly swaying from the half bottle of Pinot Noir coursing through her blood. She rewound the video and froze it on a specific frame. I couldn't believe my eyes, but I was looking at...me. Or, rather, something pretending to be me.
"What the fuck?" I said, my jaw dropping.
"Still think we're lying?" the pointer said smugly.
"No, but, guys, this isn't me. I... I've been at work. Wanna see my schedule?"
I reached into my phone and pulled it out. There was an email with my work schedule that confirmed what I was saying. They relaxed, and, for the first time, anger gave way to fear. Their very plausible explanation was suddenly invalid. It left two implausible answers floating in the ether: either I had a pint-sized doppelganger terrorizing the hallways of my apartment, or a ghost was haunting the building.
"I'm...gonna go inside," the pointer said, walking back to their home. Everyone else drifted away until it was just Gloria and I standing alone in the hallway.
She looked at me and sighed, "I feel like an asshole," she said. "Sorry I accused you of causing the racket."
"If I had seen the video, I would've thought the same thing," I said. "We're good."
"What do you think it is?" she asked.
I shrugged and let out an exhausted sigh. "Honestly, Gloria, I've had a screwed-up night already, and this is the cherry on top of the shit sundae; forgive my language. I don't have the mental bandwidth to even comprehend what's on the video at the moment."
"Think it's after you?" she asked, though I suspected the wine had forced her to put that idea out into the universe. As I had already seen, the universe seemed to take requests on my behalf.
"Maybe it's after you?" I said, coming off a little meaner than I intended, but I didn't care. I left her there to contemplate that scenario and went into my apartment.
As soon as the door shut behind me, I felt on edge. Just because I didn't have the mental bandwidth to discuss the doppelganger didn't mean it wasn't dominating my thoughts. I saw the frame of the video. The damn ghost looked exactly like me. What could that possibly mean? I know I had wished for death, but I was very still alive. I had rent due to prove that.
Did I happen to live in a place haunted by a ghost that looked strikingly like me? Was it some kid with a passing resemblance just causing chaos? Was it something else I couldn't even comprehend – an alien? A clone? A secret government project?
There was a thumping coming from the hallway. The mini Usain Bolt was at it again. I knew the neighbors would ignore it. Since they had all thought it was me, which was proven to be untrue, they would avoid the running man from now on. While curious and confused by the creature, they'd never put themselves in harm's way to discover what it was. They were not a brave lot.
Neither was I, but maybe my life crumbling around me had forced my hand. I walked over to my door and swung it open. I hit record on my phone, stuck it out like a periscope, and glanced around the hallway. Nobody was there. No neighbors were looking. No person was running.
"You gotta stop, man. I need to go to sleep," I said to the empty space. No response, not that I was expecting one.
I turned to walk back in, and I caught something out of the corner of my eye. A face at the end of the hallway peeked around the corner. For a quick second, we locked eyes, and it was like I was looking into a mirror. This thing was me. But...how?
I tried to get it on video, but it ducked back into the shadows. I took that as a cue to shut and lock my door. My heart was racing, and I didn't want to think about this anymore, but I couldn't help it. There was a me in the hallway who enjoyed pestering my neighbors. Worse, they liked to run for some ungodly reason.
I put my phone on the counter, the video still rolling, when there was a knock at my door. It echoed in my near-empty apartment. I tried to ignore it and convince myself it was something else, but it wasn't. The ghost was knocking on my door. Even with my brain paralyzed, I couldn't help but think that it was awfully polite to knock.
Another knock, this one more forceful. I wondered if the neighbors thought I was making this up?
"I know you're in there," a voice said. It sounded just like me. "This is about the race. We all have to run the race. It's your turn now."
I froze. My legs went wobbly like a boxer on the brink of a blackout, but I stayed tall. I opened my mouth to speak and found the words dying in my throat. I grabbed a nearby bottle of water and took a chug.
"We all have to run the race."
"What race?" I choked out, "What are you talking about?"
"Open up. They're in there already, and I need to get them."
I glanced all around my empty apartment. I didn't see anyone else in here. I didn't hear anything. Whatever this thing was, it was lying. I grabbed my phone and held it in my hand. I wanted to document this to prove that I wasn't crazy.
“Did you leave the note?”
“I know they’re in there with you,” it repeated.
"There's no one in here," I said.
"They're hiding. I think I know where. I can hear them."
"You've gotta get out of here," I said. "There's nothing here, and you're scaring people."
"I'm scared, and you should be! You have to run the race, man! Open up, and I can show you."
The handle started to shake. I peered through the keyhole and only saw the top of the other me's head. They began to shoulder the door, and it crunched against my nose. I screamed out in pain and stumbled back. I tripped over my feet and landed hard on my ass.
The thing slammed into the door two more times, shaking the walls. The strength seemed unnatural. On the third hit, the door burst open. I finally got a view of the thing. It was me. Scaled down by half, but it was me. We both seemed shocked.
"You're so much taller up close," the other me said.
"Who the fuck are you?"
I felt a buzzing in my feet that seemed to climb up my body until it reached my brain. There was an intense pain that rippled through the folds of my mind. Through the pain, I could hear a disembodied voice whisper, "We all must run the race. We all have to run. Chase it. Chase yourself." It felt like my skull was going to split in two. I clutched the sides of my head and let out a primal scream that hurt my own ears.
Then it was gone. But I could still feel the echoes in my mind. "We all have to run the race. We all have to run." The thought would waver between making no sense and making complete sense. One second, I was questioning what was happening to my mind, and the next, all I felt was the desire to continue the race.
"There he is!" the other me yelled, pointing at the hallway.
I glanced over and saw another version of me standing in the hallway. It was half the size of the other me that had broken into my place. When tiny me locked eyes with my intruder, he ran for the open hallway closet.
The other me followed, screaming that it would catch the little bastard if it was the last thing he'd do. I pushed myself up to my feet and felt queasy. I watched as the other me ran head-first into the closet without slowing. I expected to hear a loud thump as it hit the back wall but none came.
"We all have to run the race," the voice in my head said, soothing my nerves. "It's your time to run the race."
I moved down the hallway, each footfall echoing loudly in the empty apartment, each step bringing me closer to the closet door. Something was drawing me there. The voice's words echoed in my mind as well: "We all have to run the race. It's your turn now."
I grabbed the door and stopped. Something was compelling me to move forward. To go into the closet. To chase myself. To run the race.
"No," I whispered and yanked my hand from the door. I pulled out my still recording phone, and stared into the camera. My face was devoid of color, and you could see the fear etched into me. "I'm freaking out because...because…"
I stopped. I felt an invisible hand grab my body and tug. "Because...because if I don't run the race, something bad will happen. I have to chase it. I...I have to."
My phone dropped from my hand, and I didn’t care. The force pulling me forward stopped but my body kept going. I could feel the last strands of my rational mind splintering. My thoughts became focused on one thing: I had to catch myself, find out what was happening, and run the race. If I ran, maybe I'd win.
I needed a win.
I walked into the back of the closet and felt a door handle sticking out of the wall. I'd been in that closet a million times before and never had seen this. But a sense of calm washed over me. This….this was supposed to be here. This was perfectly fine.
I turned the handle and pulled open the invisible door. In front of me was a hallway that looked strikingly like the one outside my apartment. At the end of the hallway, I saw Gloria step out of their home to leave for the night. She was huge. Twice my size, easy.
Another door opened, and I saw...me—a giant version of me. The Hulk version of me was getting ready to go to the grocery store for work. I watched as the giant Gloria and giant me joked and laughed. I was stunned.
I stared, and a new thought came to me. I have to find the smaller me and talk to it. I needed to find out if there's a way out of this...this….
"It's your turn to run," the voice said.
Calm embraced me. "It's my turn to run," I repeated. As the giant me took off and the giant Gloria re-entered her apartment, the hallway beckoned.
"We all have to run the race," I said softly, "It's my turn now."
I started running.

First, thanks again to u/Dandechii
If you dont recall, a few weeks ago I was selected for a giveaway. I've been playing as much as I can and loving the experience of being able to just pew pew everything! Life has caught up and I can't play as much so I figured instead of letting this great build sit - it should go to someone else! (PAY IT FORWARD!)
To Enter: Simply answer what is your luckiest moment in this league and why do you want to play BAMA Necro?
I'll select a winner tomorrow (5/22) at 12pm PST.
I haven't changed a thing since I was provided the build: here is the PoB.
https://pobb.in/yiQ4ZMXrLCce

Girls, my best friend is visiting for her birthday this weekend. So far, I’m taking her to a jazz club and nice dinner in the WV Friday night and we are attending a daytime party on Saturday with another nice dinner.
This girl is beautiful and high maintenance. I want to give her an awesome birthday weekend here. What recommendations do you have? I should mention - it’s her first visit to NYC.
I don’t want to do touristic stuff. What’s a good rooftop to take her to? I was thinking a spa Sunday. What would you do Monday? I’d love some recommendations! Budget is not a concern.

It’s actually pretty astonishing!
So many of you appear to have pretty well-honed knowledge on the subjects of space, technology, and physics.
So are half of you scientists, or what?
I have a PhD in a mental health related field. I actually do psychoanalysis for a living. I was only able to grasp the books because of additional research into certain concepts. YouTube was a great help. But my point is that (even though I act like an absolute child in private), I have a PhD level education and still struggled to have a “complete” understanding of the series.
I realize that formal education isn’t always about intelligence.
My guess is that many of you are autodidacts on the subject of physics or a related field? Which is crazy impressive.
Or is the sub actually full of formally educated individuals? It seems as though this series has attracted some of the brightest people I’ve come across on any sub.
So many of you are awesome and your comments are fascinating and mind blowing!
Just wanted to say thanks and get a gauge of the general educational backgrounds of some of you (formal or self-taught). 🖤✌️

Important context but I'll be brief; I was raised in foster care, had it very rough, lots of starvation and abuse. Grew up, got out, and became studious/serious and tried to be a good person. I try to do little acts of charity when I can, I try to learn about things that affect people, I am part of the world. I work about 40-45 every week-- I only missed one day in 4 months due to heat stroke. That's who I am as a person.
My father was sick when I got out of college and I wanted to know him before he passed away, and frankly, I thought maybe he'd get to meet grandbabies. (Fail lol) I moved across the country so I could be family to him in times when you need family-- like in the hospital or when you need help at home. Tried to help him, but he kept going missing intentionally and lying about where he had been, etc. why? Bc he was having strokes and whatnot BECAUSE he's been using again. He had me move in to help, and I didn't know about the using at that point. I stay away from that life-- far away. I didn't know the signs I was missing.
When I started to figure it out, because I was finding "kits" and googling it, and alcohol everywhere, he became very very cruel to me. He insisted to me over and over that the stuff was mine. He tried to tell other people I am an addict. He tried to scare me. He just...he crossed every line, and made all of it up. I know it's not true shit, he knows it's not true-- what the heck is he doing it for? Who is he performing for? God? God knows too! I'm so confused.
I was ready to help him. I did a lot. I had to pay thousands in debt to get his utilities back on. I fixed all the appliances-- even the fridge didn't work. I never got anything, even a happy birthday call from him as a kid and I still wanted to love him with my actions. I even kept his low moments a secret and just encouraged rehab and therapy. Can anyone help me understand what goes on in their heads?

TDLR: my (25f) partner (29m) has been unemployed for nine months (combined over two years in our four year relationship) and relies on me financially but has given no indication of marriage or leveling himself up.

my partner and i have been together for almost four years (four years in june). our relationship this past year has been horrible. bad fights, him leaving etc. he’s been laid off three times since we’ve been together and for the past nine months i’ve paid 100% of all living expenses.
in the beginning of our relationship he definitely paid for most things but i always helped with groceries dates smaller bills etc. so it’s never been completely on him. i’m at my breaking point right now. i’m very serious about money and i also want to be someone’s wife. he has a gambling problem (used to be casinos, then sports betting, now it’s trading memecoins) where he can and has lost thousands of dollars at a time. he’s also made thousands of dollars at a time. that said, in NINE months he hasn’t paid a dollar towards any of our shared living expenses. i’ve sent him so many job recs, offered to make intros with my network, etc and he hasn’t done any of it. i work at a startup so sometimes im literally working 12 hour days; ive brought up how it feels like i have no support and that it could also just be him cleaning or cooking because i do all of that too (and honestly i would prefer me doing this if he had a literal job :/) and he gets angry and says he’s carried the load for so long…. i genuinely feel like it’s sexist and he refuses to see the effort and the monetary constraints im under. when he’s left i feel like he’s only come back because he’s broke. he’s asked me to pay for his vapes and i even paid off his overdraft on top of our regular living expenses this matters because well he made 10k last night and hasn’t expressed how he intends to help at all. i feel taken advantage of and like i can’t bring up money without him redirecting to another time i got upset or overreacted about something in the past or he’ll make jokes about bankruptcy etc which i find frustrating. he doesn’t come on to me either and is literally just on the computer 24/7. how do i approach this??? am i wasting my time??? he literally never talks about the future and i just feel sick giving my literal dollars and effort to someone im not married to and like im a placeholder being taken advantage of by an adult child. what do you recommend? am i not being supportive which he’s said?

I am in need of some advice on breaking up. I've never had to break up with someone before and am unsure on how to hopefully go through this process. For reference I (M28) and my partner (F26) have been together for 7 ½ years and reside in Texas.
Not sure how much detail I need to go into, but am willing to answer any questions for advice.
I bought a house (without her) about 3 years ago. She moved in the same day I did, along with her friend's, animals, and kids (not per my permission). They've since left, but have left a considerable amount of damage to the house along with the damage my partner's animals have done. Probably will end up costing me 15-20k to repair.
Ever since her friend's moved out I've noticed inconsistencies with how she talks about her and the stuff she does around the house. It's honestly nerve wrecking then she will treat and speak about my like I don't do most of the cooking, cleaning, and bill paying.
Since she had moved in we have had several conversations about helping out around the house. I use to clean every week, but it would return to the state it was in the next couple days. Now, I don't mind helping pick up after her, but not if I'm doing the cleaning by myself a majority of the time.
During our conversations I discussed how I was not content with how little she helps out. I would 50-60 hours a week to her 40 or less. I don't expect her to do everything, but to just help or just pick up after herself. However, within these 3 years we've had about 5 conversations about her cleanliness and lack of helping. She showers maybe once a week and wears the same underwear (I only know because I do the laundry on my 1 day off) brushes her teeth only if she is going out which is about twice a week or less. We had agreed on splitting/alternating chores for it to only fall on me. Now I will say after the conversations she will improve for a week or two, just to fall back into her normal habit. She also leaves food out. As much as I hate I've even let the sink fill up when it is her turn, but I end up doing it. I'm fighting a battle with cockroaches since a few weeks after she moved in because of this.
Also during our conversations we have talked about our bedroom life. She use to give me head just because saying she enjoyed seeing me get off. Since she has stopped and since she has moved in I've also stopped going down on her because of the.. well I think you can imagine. She has complained about it when I would ask for head and I would respond with that she needs to shower more before I do that. For reference I shower everyday after work because of my job. I also brought up that she would get mad when I would decline intimacy because she does it a couple hours before, but need to get up in a couple hours for work (4-5am), but I wasn't allowed to complain that she always tells me no when I tried to initiate during the day. Not to mention the duration between acts has increased to about 1-2 months imbetween acts.
I guess in all I'm tired of paying most of the bills, doing most of the chores/cooking on a constant basis while also working 50-60 hours and trying to start a business. I feel like she is holding me back. Not to mention pur decor style, money managment, and child wants are complete opposite.she is into old stuff and is a maximalist. She constantly spends her money as soon as she gets it (generally on Amazon) which generally leaves me with the bills. She also wants to have kids (4+), adopt, forcing exchange, and foster care on top of the kids and I'm not even sure if I want kids, let alone with her.
We live in Texas (as stated above) and we aren't common lawed. She tells everyone that we are married, but when they call me her husband I shoot it down. Her name is not on the title, nor did she put any money towards the initial payment process.
I know I want to do this now. It's been on my mind for a while (other circumstances that made me think she just may not be the one). I am just unsure how to go about it.
She has 2 cats and 4 dogs (1 dog I would probably keep because she only listens to me). I don't think she has anywhere else to go let alone a place to put her animals. I don't think she could find a place to rent that would a) allow all the animals b) be in her price range c) because of her poor money managment.
I hate to be the dick in this relationship, but I can't take this anymore. Especially with her gaslighting and manipulation that has taken me 7 yeats to recognize as what it is.
Please, any advice would be great. Im desperate..
TLDR: Relationship of 7 years (28m 26f) in Texas. She is very unhygienic with poor money managment, lots of animals (that have left me with about 15-20k in repairs). Not sure if she has any other place to go, but I need her gone for my sanity and well being. Please, advice.

Hello, new to the game but before I really start creating my zoo I kinda need a plan. You see, the standard version is great and all but tbh I despise the gorillas and anything related to a monkey. So.. I was kinda hoping on finding something more appealing to me. There’s the DLCs and all but idk if I want fork out the cash for them. Do mods allow you to like have a DLC animal? Such as I had seen a mod that has quarter horses (which I will extremely love to have) but it requires the przikkoana horse or whatever the hell you spell the name. The Wild horse that has a sweet ass Mohawk. Love them. Just can’t spell for shit. So is there like a way to get the said horse that’s through the conservation DLC through mods instead? I know it’s kinda cheating but money is tight 😆

Hey! So I'm really struggling and could use some advice from other autistic adults. For context, my wife and I have been together for about eight years now (married for one) and she's the best person on the planet. Genuinely my best friend, favorite brain to pick, life partner, and someone who I deeply love. She had ADD and I have AudHD, depression, and anxiety.
I just recently found out that I'm autistic in the past few years. I only found out because I was having frequent shutdowns and ultimately had to do some intensive outpatient therapy to avoid being hospitalized. Finding out that I was autistic was a huge game changer. It contextualized a lot about myself and my relationship. I also found out that a significant portion of my depression is autistic burnout (explaining why depression was medication treatment resistant). My partner has been my biggest supporter. She's spent countless hours researching autism, burnout, and trying to understand the way I work. In addition, she has picked up a considerable amount of slack around the house and is doing virtually all of our combined finances. I left my solid paying job to soul search and find something that would be more compatible with who I am. Unfortunately, truly taking time off was not an economic option.
Ultimately, I decided to follow my passion to become a teacher. It has been great, it's routine oriented, comes in spurts, always has an end date, and gives plenty of time off. I am looking forward to celebrating my first summer break of my adult life (and teaching career) in the coming weeks. The only problem, is that in addition to being a first year teacher I had to go through the certification process. This was extensive. I took a half dozen test, a bunch of undergrad classes in my subject, and 30 graduate credits - all in a little over a year.
This was a crazy schedule and, predictably, left me more burnt out. I have now graduated with my masters, finished the licensure process, and have settled into my role. Over course of this process my wife has been nothing short of amazing. As I mentioned above, she took on the lions share of the work and assured me that it was to help me get to the finish line, get better, and be able to recover over the summer. As time has gone on, doing all of this is starting to, very understandably, leave her burnout. She's made it clear to me that “just because an action has a negative consequence doesn't mean it's wrong.” However, seeing ten stress she has been under and her burnout increase has absolutely ruined my already shaky confidence and ability to feel like an equal partner. To be frank I haven't been one. I simply have not been able to. Everytime I try to add more housework, or even just little things for my wife like making her coffee in the morning, my burnout induced demand avoidance makes my fight or flight kick in. As we get closer to my break, the cracks in her facade of being OK with taking on such an extra burden has begun to appear. To be clear, I do not begrudge her for that. She's doing so much for us, and just for me.
I am really struggling to find things I can do to help her feel valued and to take back on more of the household load. I know summer about to start and things might change then, but the idea of taking on even something as innocuous as the litter box or dishes absolutely terrifies me. I want to do these things, and so much more, to lessen her load and make her feel appreciated but simply fail at being able to turn that will into action. As a result, this has made me very insecure about our relationship which only frustrates her more.
I really don't know if this is a rant or if I'm asking for advice - either way I appreciate you for making it this far. I just really want to be a better partner but feel so limited in the ways I can do so. I feel terrible as my wife will suggest things that aren't household load/management related like planning nice dates but my brain turns even those into demands that need to be avoided. In many ways I feel like I have become like an injured pet she needs to take care of rather than a proper husband. I hate feeling like this. I'm afraid that when summer comes I won't magically have more spoons and it'll continue like this. That will only make us both more frustrated as it's definitely not fair for her to be working, paying our bills, and doing the housework while I, uh, do nothing over the summer. I need to figure out how to step up and be the husband deserves.
Since being diagnosed, I have found so much autistic joy and many strategies to make my life better. This is truly the one area that makes me feel lesser than for being autistic. Even then I feel like I am just autisming wrong somehow and that this is a personal failing.
If you have any advice on how to set myself up for success, recovery, and being a better partner this summer I would love to hear it.

For starters, I'm not an avid SYTYCD watcher, so this is from the perspective of a normal person watching a reality show. This also won't go into the mechanics of the season changing (from what I heard) for the same reason.
Anyway, first, SO MANY SOB STORIES. Like I know you need a sob story to make it on a reality show but as we got closer to the end I could tell that the show was reeeeally relying on sob stories. The most egregious case of this was the semifinals, when they brought in Dakayla's absent father??????? Like, omg????? I think Dakayla's a great dancer but my god they lean hard on her relationship with Anthony and her reunion with her father. I want there to be more about dancing and less behind the scenes. This also goes for the weird shoved in scenes of them in the house, it's so awkward because they talk about nothing except for vague show related convos and WEIRD shipping between Anthony and Dakayla.
Secondly, there feels like an unfair advantage towards the contemporary dancers. Now I'm not a dancer, so sorry if this is objectively horribly wrong, but there's just so many contemporary dancers. In my opinion (OPINION), contemporary dance is just.... not as fun. And there's just so much of it. I feel like almost every dance is contemporary, if not mostly contemporary. Jaylin was my favorite dancer, and even if he wasn't, you can't deny he was a great personality and an all around great guy on the show. But man, it hurt to see all the dances catered to everyone else and not him. He even killed it at all the dances, even though he's a hip hop dancer! I just felt like it was piled against him.
Speaking of Jaylin, WHY IS THERE NO AUDIENCE VOTE??? I feel like for some dances where they do basically nothing or are just not good, the judges are excessively emotional, and then for others that are great the judges rip it apart. Jaylin did fantastic and I CAN'T BELIEVE he got eliminated before Mariyah. The audience vote needs to be added! Please!!! Also why is Jojo judging please don't this isn't Jojo hate I just don't think she fits on this show.
Also, please take Madison off the show, she's injured and keeping an injured contestant on the show while others who are just as good and healthy get eliminated just seems unfair, and like it's putting the injured players' health at risk. (well, not now that it's over, take future injured players off though please)
I like a lot of the dances. But man, I just want the dances, not the weird forced drama. And I want them to mix it up! I loved the Broadway competition, and I loved when they mixed up the excessive amount of contemporary dances with Jaylin's hip hop! The ballet dancers and tap dancers were great too, and I loved the ballroom. Just not all contemporary.
Thanks for reading my rant!

I’ll start by saying my clinic tells you to resume normal life after FET. They really emphasize normal living, normal movement, but no big exercise / lifting, and no bed rest. They emphasized I can’t dislodge or hurt the embryo!
After FET yesterday, had some blood work onsite, then about 30 min later we went to our fav coffee shop. I grabbed a decaf cappuccino and my husband and I were feeling excited and happy. We took the day off work so wanted to enjoy. At that point I recommended we walk to our favorite lookout point, and sit on a bench we’ve sat on hundreds of times together. Before I even gave it another thought we’re on the incline walk to the bench. And as I’m walking I had to stop because of a pinching pain on the lower right side. It lasted 8-10 seconds. Pinching type pain that pulsed until it stopped.
My husband has told me not to stress. The nurse convinced me I am fine. Etc. Etc. but I am concerned.
Then again, a pinching pain would be a good thing and represent connection/implantation? It wasn’t anywhere near where catheter went in. Could the embryo be attaching THAT quickly? 30 min from procedure? And ironically at the same time I’m on an incline walk?
Anyone else have similar stories and it turned out ok? Today I’ve had a heaviness in abdomen.
Namaste! 🧘🏽‍♀️

About a month ago my ex (29m) broke up with me (26f) after 4 years in the worst possible way. The night before we said goodbye and he texted me that he would be at a show. Next thing you know he doesn’t come home and disappeared for 20+ hours. When I finally get a hold of him after thinking he was dead he texted me "I think we should break up". I was livid and called him screaming to face me because he is a coward. When he did come back home he reeked of booze and couldn’t stop crying saying things weren’t lining up for us and he was falling out of love. We cried and he left to stay at his friends place and he said I love you. A few days pass and I have this nagging feeling there is someone else. He comes back home, I beg him to work things out and he is closed off and still very emotional. We do this a few times until one night he comes over and we get into a big fight because I know he likes someone else, one thing leads to another and we end up having sex and he tells me after that he cheated on me the night before he broke up with me. He also confesses that he is falling in love with her and that she knows about me and that we live together etc.
For a little context, a few months before he ended things he started heavily drinking everyday, partying and basically stopped communicating with me. He was overwhelmed and kept spreading himself thin. He thought that breaking up with me with bring him some sense of relief but it didn’t. He is still full of guilt and he keeps saying he wants to make things right with me and wants me in his life forever and be my creative partner and collaborate in the future. He says that he still loves me but "not like that" or when I ask him if he still has romantic feelings for me he says "not right now". I am moving out in a week but I still want to make it work despite him dating someone else. He is the avoidant type so I know he is using her in part to numb the pain. They do drugs together (cocaine/molly) and knowing him he is love bombing her. I can’t see a relationship based on betrayal becoming genuine.
I understand how toxic this is but he tells me things that give me hope. We talked the other day about our issues and they were all resolvable if he would have just opened up more. He says he is sorry and I think he is realizing that he made errors too. He keeps saying that he wants to be friends and when I mentioned that he cant have her and me as a friend he started crying. He says that maybe we can be together in the future. I dont know what to do, we still sleep in the same bed sometimes, we can still hangout a bit but my heart aches because he still goes to her. I am becoming seriously ill tying to figure him out and I need help. Is he manipulating me? Or is he genuinely confused?

It only been a month but with how things ended and the people she would always hang around with, it wouldn't surprise me if she already fucked at the very least 1 other person from her friend group... and yet here I am masturbating in my parents basement...
Now I am by no means ready to start dating again but, I saw a girl from my highschool today at the store, and she was one I always found attractive and is known to be a bit promiscuous, but I was to nervous to say hi and I'm beating myself up for atleast not saying hi... I should've atleast said hi. I don't think she noticed me though as she didn't look at me at all, or atleast I didn't notice if she did, but fuck I should've said hi atleast... honestly, I just saw her thought how my ex is probably fucking someone else right now I should see if she (the girl from my highscool) would want to get dinner...
I have no friends, after graduating college we all went our separate ways and lost contact so this break up made me lose the one and only person I really had... my ex fiance got a big new friend group and pretty much since she wanted nothing to do with me other then free dinners and occasional sex. I think she got frustrated that I kept wanting to do things with her and got upset when all she would do was hang with her friends until midnight and yet she'd always tell me she's to tired to do anything with me and she wouldn't ever want me to come with her when she went to hang with her friends...
It's been a month and I'm definitely not ready to be dating yet, but thinking about how my ex easily could have already fucked someone else pisses me off... like she dumps me out of the blue then ghosts me... then starts posting things like "when be dumps you but it's right before summer *evil laugh", "at a new low time to get tinder" and other things like that on her social media's like wtf! We were engaged and you're already planning a hot girl summer and telling everyone I dumped you!!?? I have since removed her from all social media.
I'm horny as shit, angry, and idk man I just need to vent and blow off some steam and bust a fucking nut but I can't stop thinking about how my ex is probably already getting railed by atleast one other person but I have a feeling it's more.
Re reading this post makes me sound like such a degenerate but idc... I went from having consistent sex to none, and I can't shake this feeling about what my ex has been up to and it makes me want to go against my beliefs and just try fucking around in hopes it'll make me forget about her...

i’m gonna try to make a long story short but i’m happy to elaborate on any details.
for about two months (more or less), i let a woman live in my house rent free. she asked me for money every single day under the pretense that she would pay me back.
we never signed a contract or anything. the only evidence i have that she owes me money is her texting me screenshots of the calculator app with the total. my only other evidence is the following text exchange: “if you don’t pay me back i will take you to court.” her: “okay love bug no worries i understand”.
i am 97% sure that i violated the terms of my lease by having her live with me, i rent out a single room in a townhouse. so, i am not trying to recoup rent money.
HOWEVER. she also stole some stuff from me that she is now refusing to give back. she won’t answer the phone. i had the police escort me to her house, and she pretended not to be home. they told me that now, i have to take her to court, and bring receipts for things i have them for.
what do i do? i am broke as fuck, i can’t afford to get a lawyer for civil court. i’ve accepted that i’ll probably never get my money back, but she stole items that have sentimental value and i cannot afford to replace. can i summon her without a lawyer? is it even worth trying? can’t she just pretend that all of it has been hers to begin with, except for the ones i have receipts for? the item i want back most, i DONT have a receipt for.

It’s been 78 days since he walked out my door after breaking up with me. He hugged me twice and kissed me one last time before he left. And the moment I saw him drive away, my heart shattered to the floor and it’s been there ever since. He was the first person in my 35 years of life that ever showed me what it was like to be loved. Not just told, but actually shown. I was only with him barely 4 months. And I had been married before for a decade. It felt like before he was in my life, I was just existing, going through the motions, not really living. And then I met him, spent time with him and he breathed life into me. It felt like nothing I ever felt before. He stopped responding to my texts 10 days after he broke up with me. And I stopped texting him 15 days after that. I want to so badly text him, “I guess I really did love you more.” I don’t know how he is but I imagine he doesn’t even think about me. That I don’t even come across his mind. He’s too busy with his house, his work, his life to even remember I was apart of it for a brief period of time. But for me, all I feel is the emptiness. The lack of his good morning texts, his calls, having someone to game with and chat with after work. Someone I looked forward to seeing on the weekends or his weekends. I’m in therapy and I’m taking things one day at a time, but I don’t want to miss him anymore. I just want to wake up tomorrow and not have that sense of emptiness in my life anymore.

Pretty simple right? I honestly just want someone who, either it be daily or on and off etc, will send me pics for me to give detailed compliments and / or critique. Selfies, outfits, gym/post workout pics etc
Id also love to chat and be bros, bond but we don't have to but if you, dear reader, want to then some info about me. I like gaming, playing a lot of overwatch lately but I love RPGs and shooters. I like horror movies, running, socializing and getting to know people. I'm fairly relaxed, easy breezy kind of guy so no worry about offending me.
If you're interested then message me with some info about yourself, user is hype._.

Hey there folks! I'm looking to make some sweet, lasting connections after some of the ones in my past fizzled out. I'm pretty experienced with online (for starters at least) communication and have made some lovely connections over the years of varying levels of, I don't know, "seriousness" I suppose, be it romantic or friendship.
A little about me: I'm figuring out my shit! I'm someone whose really interested in exploring in life, but it's also left me feeling a little behind others my age. Not very relationship experienced but I do love connecting with others, and been coming out of my shell socially of late. Essentially, I used to think I was an introvert, but I'm possibly more like an ambivert.
Career-wise I've finally, after a while of searching, gotten into a program that will at least allow me to have some decent income while gaining great experience. I want to continue schooling (I have a bachelor's degree in English), but really don't know in what field! All I know is, I love to write. Always dreamed of becoming an author, but I won't rant about the book industry right now (unless you want me to).
In general, I'm a nerdy guy. I have varied interests but gaming has always held my heart, as well as art and animation. So, naturally, manga/comics/anime and all that jazz is up my alley.
As for games, I enjoy mostly single-player stuff. Roguelikes and indie games will always be something I love, but I generally love RPGs! Hades II currently holds all my attention, and if there are any Balatro players out there, I'll marry ya.
As for other interests, I love making fancy cocktails strangely enough. Big whiskey fan, and wine, but I try to save it for one day a week. I'm also highly interested in learning languages, though I'm still essentially just fluent in English. But I have learned to read some Japanese and have decent Italian skill.
I consume a good deal of media, including on YouTube through copious, endless video essays on topics I'd normally not care about. I also enjoy reading; typically fantasy but I'll give anything a go.
I love animals and probably would've been a marine biologist in another life! I have a beautiful dog for now though, which I guess is just ... a land seal.
Let's see what else ... I'm kinda interested in spirituality to an extent? I'm a hard-sell on all things supernatural, but it has not stopped me from attempting to learn astrology and tarot cards and chaos magick. I'm at least interested in these concepts for sure!
Appearance wise certainly don't mind exchanging selfies, even if down the line. I'm a bigger guy working on health and I enjoy a good workout. Blue-green eyes, curly light brown hair, 5'7".
Not sure what to tag this as considering the two extremes in this silly tag system. I guess NSFW lends itself to the idea of potential flirtiness? Which I am all for, so ultimately I'm down for anything organically!
Anyway, this was absolutely a ramble. But if my particular brand of insanity appeals to you, by all means reach out. Down for anything really. I find I've clammed up in the past and like to take things slow, but I'm an open book and am really just looking for a nice vibe.
No time limit to respond!

My fiancées parents got divorced about ten years ago—a few years before we met. His dad had cheated on his mom with one of his friend’s moms. Ever since, his mom and older sister don’t have a relationship with the dad. Even though this was a decade ago, you could still cut the tension with a knife.
His mom and two sisters have always had a bad attitude. Super quiet, cold and judgmental whenever they’re around me. No matter how I’ve tried to bond with them over the years, it has always been criticized and rejected.
I’m at a point now where im questioning why my fiancée doesn’t seem let down by them for being so obvious with their dislike of me. Why can’t they be fake at the very least? They are loud in it and I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve it. It feels like I’m being bullied. At least if there was a reason we could resolve and move forward. He says he’s asked what the issue is before and received a mix of explanations but never anything direct. Most recently, he visited and when he brought up the wedding his family changed the subject.
I have been telling myself for too long that my fiancée is the way he is because he grew up in a family where they had to walk on eggshells or risk being shunned or ex communicated. He started therapy a few months ago and has been more vocal with me about their neglect. I feel so bad for him that this is his family dynamic and I want to be respectful. But I also feel bad for myself, marrying into a family where they want nothing to do with me and won’t explain why. My parents both had cancer when I was young and my dad died when I was 17. I always dreamed of my in-laws being the extended family of my dreams and the disappointment is overwhelming.
I don’t know how our marriage can survive their rejection, or my fiancees solution of just moving on and forgetting about it. We live on the other side of the country so don’t see them often but our wedding is in 3 months.
hugs to anyone who’s been in this situation before because it’s very difficult and emotionally exhausting

Just wanted to say thanks to everyone for being so kind and respectful! Never felt safer in such a large crowd! I didn’t dress too crazy so I got asked a lot of it was my first time and everyone was just so happy for us! Get memories! THANK YOU HEADLINERS!