Hello,
I am writing to ask for help/ tips how to deal with ongoing narcissistic stalking/ abuse/ public humiliation.
After years of abuse and violence, I went no contact with my N father, who happens to also work in law (he is a judge). I fled the country, and had 12 wonderful years of no contact. Recently, I decided to come back to my home country and start fresh in a different city.
Sadly, he somehow found out where I live (although I was very careful) and showed up at my door. I said I wanted no contact with him and ran away. Afterwards, I went to the police and filled for a restraining order. Unfortunately, and because he works as a judge, he wrote his colegue he was heartbroken and just wanted to "check on me", and absolutely nothing was done to protect me from him... He keeps sending me letters in bright colors (such as red) telling me BS about missing me and some other narcissistic exhibition of his talent has a poet.
The letters don't bother me as much as the fear of him coming back, which I am convinced will happen again. When I was younger he loved to make a scene at my school in front of all my teachers and other students. He would shout, humiliate and even hit me in front of everyone. The same happened at college, so much so, that many of my friends/ colleagues stopped talking to me out of fear of his craziness.
I don't know what to do. He is about to retire and have a lot of free time. Not to mention, he is very likely to decompensate once he stops working. I am afraid he will show up on my door again, or at my work. I am afraid he will try to hurt me or even m*rder me. He has nobody because he is so antisocial, everybody turned his back on him.
Any ideas of how can I protect myself from this monster? I don't want to run away again and put all my life and dreams at pause again.

ONEPIECE 1115 - CHAPTER STARTS WITH REACTIONS ABOUT VEGAPUNK'S WORDS ALL OVER THE WORLD.

• VEGAPUNK SAYS THAT PONEGLYPHS ARE RECORDS OF HISTORY THAT TALK ABOUT A MASSIVE BATTLE THAT TOOK PLACE DURING THE VOID CENTURY.
  
• VEGAPUNK SAYS IT WAS A BATTLE BETWEEN 2 TYPES OF "IDEA" TOO BUT HE CANNOT CONCLUDE WHO WAS RIGHT OR WRONG.
  
• MARS USES CONQUEROR'S HAKI TO KNOCK OUT SOME DEN DEN MUSHI.
  
• NUSJURO CUTS PUNK RECORDS IN HALF WITH ONE MASSIVE SLASH AND FREES SERAPHIM.
  
• VEGAPUNK SAYS JOY BOY DEFEAT MARKED THE END OF THE VOID CENTURY.
  
• BUT WAR CHANGED THE WORLD AND CONTINENTS THAT EXISTED 1,000 YEARS AGO WERE SUNK WHEN SEA LEVELS RISED 200 METERS.
  
• VEGAPUNK SAYS THEY LIVE IN FRAGMENTS OF THAT CONTINENTS.
  
• HE SAYS TOO WAR HASN'T ENDED YET AND ANCIENT WEAPONS WILL BE IMPORTANT IN THIS WAR.
  
• IN LAST PAGE WE SEE IMUS FACE (STILL SHADOW).
  

NO BREAK NEXT WEEK & SECRET SAUCE2024 PEWPIECE

Welcome back to the Community Matchup Threads!

The goal of these threads is to foster discussion, share resources, and overall learn more about the game.

May 21, 2024: Fox vs. Donkey Kong

General Guidelines

Discuss the matchup from any angle you like, whether it's recent tournament results, theoretical labbing, or niche interactions. Not as knowledgeable in the matchup as you'd like to be? Ask questions!
Feel free to discuss which character 'wins' a matchup, but please keep in mind there is more to a matchup than a theoretical winner and loser.
Each thread will stay up for a week and then be switched to a new matchup on Monday.

Resources (pinned comment)

Check the Resources comment to share and find resources for this specific matchup. A "resource" can be broadly defined as something written or created by someone other than yourself that aims to provide insight or knowledge into the matchup. Think YouTube guides, Smashboards posts, Twitter clip examples, previous reddit comments, gifs, etc. If you found it helpful in the past, someone else will find it helpful now!

Feedback

This is a living thread and I welcome feedback for how to make them better! Please reply to the feedback comment if you have any ideas on how to improve these threads.

Memes

Please keep memes and any not-strictly-constructive things regarding the matchup in the Memes comment below. This means you can still post all your spicy takes about how Falcon should pull out his own gun or how Kirby is canonically strongest while not obscuring helpful discussion.

Vote on the matchup here!

Would rather place your vote in another way? Let me know in the feedback section!

	Fox	Falco	Marth	Sheik	Jigglypuff	Peach	Captain Falcon	Ice Climbers	Pikachu	Luigi	Samus	Dr. Mario	Yoshi	Ganondorf	DK
Fox		2024-01-01	2023-12-11			2023-12-04							2024-02-19
Falco	2024-01-01		2024-02-12			2024-03-04	2024-12-18						2024-01-21
Marth	2023-12-11	2024-02-12		2024-01-08			2024-01-29						2024-04-08
Sheik			2024-01-08			2024-01-15	2024-04-15
Jigglypuff															2023-12-25
Peach	2023-12-04	2024-03-04		2024-01-15			2024-04-22
Captain Falcon		2023-12-18		2024-04-15		2024-04-22
Ice Climbers			2024-01-29
Pikachu
Luigi
Samus
Dr. Mario
Yoshi	2024-02-19	2024-01-21	2024-04-08
Ganondorf
DK					2023-12-25

(~50F) Attempting to build a regimen and was looking for some assistance. Skin type/concerns: 1. Acne-prone - primarily hormonal cysts. Concentrated on chin, some minor comedones on forehead. Cheeks are usually clear. 2. Eye milia...any ideas about what may be causing? How to get rid of? 3. I am guessing somewhat dehydrated? Can be oily to (which I understand is common). 4. Sebaceous filaments on nose.
Requirements: 1. Fragrance Free 2. Non-comedogenic (prefer to avoid silicones, shea, coconut). 3. Not sure about Hyaluronic Acid, Niacinamide. Prefer to avoid and add in if needed. 4. Pumps or tubes, NO TUBS or POTS.
Current "Routine":
Cleansers: TO Glucoside Foaming Cleanser, Neutrogena Fragrance Free Ultra Gentle, CeraVe SA Cleanser, Cera Ve Benzoyl Peroxide cleanser, Cosrx Good Morning Gel, or TO Squalene Cleanser AM: TO Argireline (forehead) AM: TO Matrixyl (stopped using...to see if it was causing acne). AM: Financea Gel 15%. Entire face AM: Elf Pure Skin Moisturizer or LRP Sensitive Fluide (this one burns a bit). AM: LRP Mineral (face ....tinted ultra-fluud lotion) or Vichy Capital Soleil mineral ultra light UV lotion. (I have some Korean ones coming!! The BoJ, Inistree, Canmake Mermaid...) *I usually don't wait particularly long between applications * Usually stop the Financea/Retin-A Micro on Monday as I do IPL on upper lip/chin on Wed. Depending how I respond, I may start again on Friday/Sat
PM: TO Argireline (forehead) PM: TO Matryxil (stopped using) PM: might use Cosrx BHA (on nose only...sebaceous filaments) PM: Retin-A Micro 0.04%...been using for 6 months. Seem to be tolerating well, have Rx for 0.1%, so am mixing 1 pump of each (for about 0.07%). I use the 0.07% every second night and do 0.04% other nights). So far no flaking/peeling a week in. Will aim to increase slowly. PM: TO Natural Factors + HA or TO Natural Factors + Phytoceramides
Additional: I have a Rx for 5% spironolatone in Cleoderm base. Not sure where/how to fit in. Feel I should solidify routine before adding. I was on yhis previously and it did help with hair growth. I tried oral spiro, and had nasty side effects. I also have TO glycoild acid and M2 mandelic/lactic serum, Skinceuticals Blemish & Age Defense, and Epionce Lytic Tx that I sometimes add in, but these aren't regulars.
I also have a few Korean sunscreens on the way. 🤞 no eye-stinging or I will be searching for a mineral sunscreen as I don't love LRP and the Vichy is even worse.
I have tried oil cleansing for 2 minutes to get sebaceous filaments out. Never, ever, have I seen this be of benefit. No success, whatsoever.

1. Moisturizers Suggestions!

AM: Definitely looking to try something new. I find the Elf doesn't absorb well, and the LRP may be too light (plus it stings). I may(?) find the Korean sunscreens hydrating enough, but definitely want something in my back pocket. Please offer suggestions.
PM: If I up my Retin-A micro, I think I will need a better moisturizer.

1. How to better utilize what I have?

A little background on everything. I work at a bank so there’s only 12 employees. This new woman transferred about 3 months ago and I wasn’t interested in her at first. After a week she started coming over to my desk a few times a day with little questions or just to sit and chit chat. The chit chat quickly turned into the flirty teasing and banter between coworkers. Every time I’d walk to the printer or copier she would make eye contact and give a big smiles or a little cute look. We related being close in age while all of our other coworkers are +/- 10 years from us, her birthday is 3 days before mine both being in May. The more we talked the more I liked her but I was told by others that she did have a boyfriend. So about 2 months ago I helped her open a new account and as I’m opening the account we’re talking, I tell her this I am diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, I have a son that’s 2 and half, and that me and his mother broke up a few years ago. Fast forward about a week later she tells me she’s going to a walk that benefits my disease and asked if I would want to attend or if I think any of our coworkers would be interested as a group. I told her I wouldn’t expect people to go to a walk for me but I may be interested and I would let her know. A week later she ask about my plans for the weekend to which I tell her I’m with my son this weekend, and he’s always my #1 priority. About two weeks later she’s telling me about new shelves she’s getting and installing over the weekend and that she’s probably going to be doing it herself, while just looking at me. At this point I’m thinking she’s hinting that she wants me to help her but I’m also saying that if she has a boyfriend will this be awkward, so I didn’t say anything. The following Monday I asked how were the shelves and as she’s showing me pictures she’s says she got her boyfriend to help. Now I’m thinking ok she has a boyfriend she’s probably just very nice, so I started to suppress any feelings at had. So I chose not to go the benefit walk because it would’ve felt weird with her having a boyfriend. We still had a little banter and flirting but tried to keep it professional, especially if she has a boyfriend. Since then she will still lock eyes with me as I go to the printer and give me smiles and the cute look, but when I try to talk to her there’s something wrong or she’ll look at her phone. After all this another coworker told me that she is single. This weekend was her birthday and I texted her and wished a happy birthday and we joked about her only turning 22. We’re both off for our birthdays, with mine be this week I felt like asking her to hangout but I’m not sure if it’s smart. Was there anything there or was a miss reading signs, and if there was did I miss my opportunity?

Hey ! I'm Lou, 23 years old from France. I've been cardist for several years and I really like to spend my free time with a deck in my hands, had fun and learn new moove.
I discovered this subreddit a few years ago and I really like following all the posts, reading, leaving comments etc....but I have never posted here ! I decided to post a new flourish per day to share it all with you !
If you have any advice, don't hesitate, I would be happy to discuss and exchange ideas about Cardistry ! So....see you tomorrow 😊⏳🃏

This question has probably been asked a million times, but here goes. I have pretty crappy credit, just under 600. I had a car that I financed before, and my interest rate was over 20%. My boyfriend crashed said car and thank god for gap insurance, everything got paid off. However I’m sure insurance will be ever harder and pricier this time around. My question is, would it be a better idea to just save up and buy a used car outright? Is leasing even an option with a lower credit score? What is recommended when buying a car given my credit issues? Thanks for any advice.

The below is my analysis and I would like to share it with you for your opinions and insights. Please feel free to correct my mistakes with references, since I am certain that I am always missing something.
House and Bloodline: Lysander comes from house Au Lune, which was established by Silenius of the same bloodline. Which means genetically Lysander is a part of Silenius. And when speaking of genetics I believe that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Hence knowing what Silenius has done during his time, I don't think that Lysander would be any better.
Background: With the information that we already know, we are aware that earth's population were "the last natural born humans" which means they had no colors and no carvings. I am not sure if we know when was the -start- of the carvings and when did people decide to implement color coding into people to create the current hierarchy, but I am going to assume that it would be prior to the Conquering Era, and probably few hundred years at the very least. Because when war started, "Many notable golds established themselves and their familial houses for centuries to come" which means that the making of this culture was already cooking for a while and they had a structure that was already culture and tradition. You might want to argue that The Sons of Ares has mentioned " The Conquering occurred within a hundred years of Luna first being colonized", however, I presume that color grading and carving has starting before the colonization of Luna.
Revelations: The year 5 PCE, which is only 5 years (allegedly) after the society has won the war on earth and "Breaking the chains" that earth's held upon them. Silenius ;and probably other political parties; have agreed to purge earth's population by "dropping Solocene into the Earth's troposphere". One might argue Lune's perspective for taking such decision shortly after conquering, however, his motives and intentions become much clearer when we realize that he decided to create "Eidmi". Whichever perspective you choose to look at, this man was... a very angry man. He was obsessed with and/or afraid to lose control, he needed to be in control of everything, probably because he had an ideology of how the society is "supposed to be" or probably some other reasons, but he was looking for a guaranteed result, had he decided to take action. Which brings me to some questions that are yet to be answered:
More than 700 years ago, the idea of Eidmi surfaced, whether Silenius and Akari verbally mentioned it to anyone or not, it was written and recorded in the vault of the sovereign (as mentioned by Atlas) by someone from that time and it was kept as a "secret?"

• If he already had the technology, why didn't Silenius try to recreate it?
• If the vault was accessible to the entire lines of sovereigns, why didn't any of them try to recreate it? if not search for it?
• When Darrow was on the way to Athena, he was drugged by the gas "that doesn't affect Reds", is he considered a 100% gold now and wouldn't get affected by Eidmi for the reds?
  • If Darrow is indeed a gold now, and Virginia is as well by default, how is Pax biologically "Unclassified"?
• Sevro is biologically born from both Gold and Red genes*, what is his technical definition?

Despite of the technicalities, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. If Papa Lune was indeed as described above, pixie Lune will not be much different.

My boyfriend has recently been talking a lot about his coworker (20somethingF) who’s been put on their team in the past year or so. He’s been very stressed at work and we hardly see each other —live apart and see each other 1-2times a week.
Lately, every time I ask him how work was that day or what he was up to at work, he will eventually start talking about this coworker, lets call her Sasha. About what him and Sasha did today (coffee catch-up and lunch together usually) or just andecdotes about Sasha (“Sasha’s weekend hobby is swimming and last week she swam xyz metres in open ocean). Cool.
I have never minded this —in part because my bf has a tendency to have a new female best friend every year. I totally believe and support friendship across genders. However, my…spidey senses have been tingling for the past month because Sasha and him have been spending a lot of time with each other at work based on his stories but we hardly ever text during the week now and we only see each other 1 night on a weekend —late at night and ready for bed— as his job is very demanding atm. Two mos ago he also told me that Sasha broke up with her long term bf.
Anyway long story short, I ended up snooping on his texts with her and I feel torn, reddit friends. There was nothing malicious, but she texted him asking him if he wants to come over and share a pizza with her on a Saturday night!! Two weeks before that, she also invited him on 1:1 drinks out on a weekend night. He rejected both invites saying he already had plans. But she would send him selfies of her every now and then, mundane stuff like what she’s cooking for dinner, picture of her chilling on the couch (he asked her if she was wfh that day) and also picture of her at the salon (he wondered why she tool a day off). He would sometimes respond with photos of his dinner or his computer screen.
The problem is that he is very very private about his personal life at work (only 1 other female and 1 coworker knows our relationship because they are close feiends outside of work). So Sasha doesn’t know I exist. If she was hitting on him, technically its fair game from her perspective. Admittedly, I am upset that my bf is not forthcoming with our relationship in general. It took me 1.5 years to meet his friends. I’m sure he enjoys the female attention but idk if he is being oblivious with her trying to shoot her shot. I can’t confront him because he’ll figured out I snooped. I know I know its not my finest moment.
But I would like to ask him for me to meet some of his closer coworkers (which are essentially friends as they regularly hang out after work/on the weekend including Sasha)…in part to actually get to know his coworkers and also to let Sasha know I exist…is this a good idea? Or am I being too territorial?

I am a Christian deconstructing my faith (and not on purpose!). I can’t seem to reconcile the problem of evil with the attributes of God. It appears, that with the Biblical/traditional Christian framework, you must sacrifice at least one of the O-O-O-O attributes of God in order for evil to exist. Is this as big an issue for my faith as I think it is? As someone with ASD, I can't just sit with a paradox, I really need things to make at least some sense.
Traditionally, most, if not all, major Christian sects seem to hold to several core ideas about God and his relationship to the universe. These are typically denoted as O-O-O-O, omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent. The sum of these attributes is, in theory, perfection, complete and utter perfection. The concept of perfection is extremely important when arguing for the existence of an ultimate deity as to be anything else would mean there is something better than it, in theory. But what is perfection? When we say God is perfect, what do we mean? Surely, if all things flowed from the nature of perfection, we would expect perfection… wouldn’t we? And since the universe is clearly not perfect by Biblical standards, how does the universe relate to God and vice versa?
This seeming paradox is often nicknamed “the problem of evil”. It is a juvenile concept at first glance. Typically, the astute apologist will fish into his pocket, pull out his trump card, and with a grin, set it down on the table. Free will. Argument over. Of course! God gives us the freedom to make decisions on our own and as a result, some of those decisions result in unfavorable and sometimes downright despicable outcomes. Just think about it! Poverty? Caused by the pride and greed of the wealthy. Wars? Also pride and greed. A child with cancer? Probably caused by the greed and pride of some sleazy company improperly disposing of some type of toxic waste. Rape, murder, adultery, theft? Pride and greed. Thinking you deserve something that you don’t have. In short, selfishness. And surely the desperate atheist will bring up hurricanes, droughts, and earthquakes but those aren’t moral evils, those are physical evils. They hurt, sure. They kill, sure. But they aren’t inherently bad. And who is to question the ways of the Lord? And on all these points I would generally agree. I don’t think that natural disasters disprove the Christian God, and in general, moral evils are the results of human actions. But there is a caveat… Why does free will entail evil?
Think about it for a second. If indeed free will exists, I may have the free will to jump a foot or so in the air, but I don’t have the free will to jump into outer space. There are constraints on our free will. If there are four supermarkets in town, I have the free will to go to whichever one I please. None of those options involve pride or greed but I still, in theory, have free will. So, it is completely possible for a divine being to endow humans with free will while still having constraints in place to prevent them from choosing evil. But he doesn’t… One might say that we have moral free will. But do we even have that? Can I choose to be morally perfect all the time? No. In fact, according to the scriptures, “No one is good. No, not one”. Because of “The Fall”, it is physically impossible for humans to be truly good… Now that doesn’t sound like free will at all. “But it was the result of humanity’s choice to sin”, the apologist might say. So, let’s grant them that luxury and take a look at free will in regard to all of humanity as a single entity.
In the beginning, God created mankind and called it “good”. God warns perfect humanity not to eat of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. However, an evil entity tempts perfect mankind into eating of the tree. Mankind’s sin ushers in evil and free will and curses all future generations to be predisposed to sin as well. I don’t think I need to point out the flaws in this story, but I will just be thorough anyway. God created a perfect world, yet it contained an evil entity that tempted humanity. God created perfected humanity, yet humanity yielded to temptation. The knowledge of good and evil ushers in free will, implying that humanity did not have the free will to eat of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. On top of that, the knowledge of good and evil implies that evil already existed in the “perfect” world. Whether or not you believe the Genesis account to be literal or simply a parable or poetry, the main issue is still present. The world is imperfect but supposedly has a perfect creator.
This contradiction leads us to several internal models for how Christian sects have traditionally thought of God in relation to the problem of evil while still maintaining that God himself is all good. Unfortunately for these sects, this involves neutering at least one of God’s divine attributes. These models are indeed a somewhat reductive oversimplification of the complexity of the varying beliefs between followers of Christianity, but I think they help illustrate this issue. I don’t mean to say that this is what all Christians believe in these different sects either, this is simply my observation of how Calvinist and Arminian circles tend to deal with the problem of evil when I have pressed them on the topic.
The first is, evil is just the absence of God. This logically leads to God not being omnipresent.
The second is, God brought evil into the world on purpose in order to accomplish some grand plan. This logically leads to God not being omnibenevolent (in both the utilitarian and deontological sense).
The third is that God had to bring evil into the world even though he didn’t want to in order to accomplish some grand plan. This logically leads to God not being omnipotent since he relies on something that he would rather not rely on.
The fourth is God was unaware of evil when he created the world. This logically leads to God not being omniscient.
The fifth is that evil is a force external to God’s domain which he could not prevent. This also leads to God not being omnipotent.
The most logical choice seems to be that God is neither good nor bad, just morally neutral but that isn’t Christianity at that point, that sounds like Deism.
Alternatively, saying the creator God is evil and that the redeemer Christ is good is pretty much Gnosticism.
Of course, we could just say “God’s ways are higher than our own” or “as humans there is now way we could comprehend” but we can’t use a belief being as a proof that our religion is supernatural, otherwise, all religions might as well be equally valid no matter how absurd they are.
Additionally, if we go the opposite direction, we could say that evil and free will must exist together because God is a logical god and can’t break his own rules of logic. On first glance, this makes sense, but if we posit that, for example, God can’t make a square circle because he must comply with his own logic, then we make other logical paradoxes such as the Trinity not possible.
The last and probably most popular solution is the relational God model. God wants a dynamic redemptive relationship with his creation and the only way for true love to exist is for there to be the choice to accept or reject God as well as a reason for God to demonstrate his love as well. In this view, the end result of a restored humanity recasts how we view evil in the present. This indeed sounds like the most convincing model but it still has some major issues. If God is all powerful and all knowing, there should be no reason why he couldn’t create a humanity that truly loves him from the start without being simple automatons. But even if that wasn’t the case, the restoration we see in the Bible doesn’t appear to be the result of free will but of an ultimatum. Creation doesn’t have the option to reject God and continue to exist, it is either repent and live or refuse and suffer for eternity and/or be destroyed. It isn’t love at that point; it is coercion. Right?
Am I thinking about this the wrong way?

Hello,
I am writing to ask for help/ tips how to deal with ongoing narcissistic stalking/ abuse/ public humiliation.
After years of abuse and violence, I went no contact with my N father, who happens to also work in law (he is a judge). I fled the country, and had 12 wonderful years of no contact. Recently, I decided to come back to my home country and start fresh in a different city.
Sadly, he somehow found out where I live (although I was very careful) and showed up at my door. I said I wanted no contact with him and ran away. Afterwards, I went to the police and filled for a restraining order. Unfortunately, and because he works as a judge, he wrote his colegue he was heartbroken and just wanted to "check on me", and absolutely nothing was done to protect me from him... He keeps sending me letters in bright colors (such as red) telling me BS about missing me and some other narcissistic exhibition of his talent has a poet.
The letters don't bother me as much as the fear of him coming back, which I am convinced will happen again. When I was younger he loved to make a scene at my school in front of all my teachers and other students. He would shout, humiliate and even hit me in front of everyone. The same happened at college, so much so, that many of my friends/ colleagues stopped talking to me out of fear of his craziness.
I don't know what to do. He is about to retire and have a lot of free time. Not to mention, he is very likely to decompensate once he stops working. I am afraid he will show up on my door again, or at my work. I am afraid he will try to hurt me or even m*rder me. He has nobody because he is so antisocial, everybody turned his back on him.
Any ideas of how can I protect myself from this monster? I don't want to run away again and put all my life and dreams at pause again.

Hello everyone! I have never read TGCF but my best friend is a huge fan and her birthday is coming up. Anyone have any ideas of what I can get her? I think TGCF has some nsfw elements but I want her gift to be sfw lol. She has read the whole thing so no need to worry about spoilers! I'm open to descriptions of gift ideas (like "Xie Lian figurine") or links where I can buy merch online. Thanks!

Whats up my dudes, we are back at it with another chapter for you all. We are getting the swing of things and have another chapter or two to start the main plot fully, we are just getting to know our leads for now. I hope you enjoy
Lets get this bread
-----
The movement from the nightclub to Stitch’s clinic was grueling. Typically lugging a passed-out HVI or some other sod halfway across the city's district would not be a challenge. With his cybernetics, Conor was in decent enough shape and could sprint ten kilometers in full battle rattle without breaking a sweat, but Conor had pushed himself and didn’t need to wax a few Voodal in his way.
Conor had heard that Kurlatra were dense, but his assumptions about how heavy they were came nowhere close to the reality of picking one up.
Whatever this woman's name was, she likely weighed north of eighty kilograms. It was a shock because she was a meter and a half tall at most. For Urka’s sake, Conor only weighed one hundred and fifty kilograms despite being two meters tall and filled to the brim with wires.
He thought a bit about the woman's build and realized why she must weigh so much. She had hips and legs that could crush a man's skull. Along with a pair of tits just big enough that they would overflow from your hands.
Conner was made all the more well aware of those traits as he adjusted her to ensure he would not drop the little lass. Her fatty chest and plump thighs would try to swallow his hip each time he did. No sentient this small had any right being heavier than his entire breacher kit, explosives, anti-rifle armor, and all.
If not for Brakul expecting this rosey scag to be delivered to Stitch’s place, Conor would have lugged her to his safe house, which was far closer. But no, he had another job and order to follow.
The only shining light on this impromptu extraction was that the Voodal did not follow him. He had been worried about that last ganger he had shot; they had only eaten one round through the midchest. At the time, it looked like it might not have been a heart shot, and since he was picking this bimbo up at the time, he did not have a chance to ensure they were put down permanently.
Conor took a deep breath as he rounded the corner into a dirty alleyway, leaving the bustling thoroughfare behind. Thankfully, the residents of Heavalun knew better than to mess with him or anyone else who regularly did mercenary work, especially when they were carrying a body—alive or not.
Those who stopped his type tended not to live long, so he was ignored other than a few passing glances.
After traveling a few meters into the alleyway, Conor stopped and tucked behind a dumpster. His feet squelched in a puddle of rank trash water leaking from the impromptu cover. While Conor was reasonably sure no one had followed him, a quick double-check was always good for his skin.
Conor did not want to bring trouble to Stitch’s place. He did not have the slightest idea where he would find another techy who could synthesize the cocktail of stimulants Stitch made to keep his broken body held together. Pissing the tech head off was not high on his priority list.
Over the next ten minutes, the only thing his thermal vision picked up between him and the main road was a few Zlit rats scurrying atop discarded food. Their fleshy tendrils groped the garbage and pulled it into maws of razor-sharp teeth.
The sight of them sent a shiver down his spine. Those foul little mammals were high on his list of hated creatures, having been bitten by them more than once since he was a kid slinking around the gutters of Heavalun.
Pushing those memories away, Conor traveled deeper and rounded a blind corner. The sounds of the crowd's chatter entirely vanished as he entered the backstreet where Stitch’s clinic was nestled.
The rest of the journey was only a few hundred meters and only required Conor to sidestep some used needles and shit; He also had to kick one homeless bum who tried to grab the girl out of the cover of his jacket. Usually, he would have just shot the piece of hreck shit, but with his hands full, a swift boot to the jaw got the message across.
With the bum limping away, broken jaw clutched in pain, Conor hammered on the metal door; its frame and the neon sign to its side quivered under his brute strength. Then began the worst part of dealing with Stitch, waiting for the asshole to open the door.
Conor waited until ten minutes had passed and received no answer. Then he punched the door harder, his metal hand denting the surface. Several seconds later, a heavily synthesized voice echoed out of the speakers hidden around the area—speakers that Conor had never been able to locate, no matter how fervently he tried.
“What do you want, Conor?” Stitch questioned. “Did you break more of your wiring?”
Conor sighed heavily, knowing Stitch had this entire block wired with multispectrum cameras and could see him a kilometer out. If this were a visit for his wiring, Stitch would know. The man was just being paranoid and wanted Conor to state his business.
“I got a girl I need you to check up on,” Conor said, pushing his jacket slightly open and letting the girl's ref scales shine.
“What another hooker pass out on a bad trip?” Stitch chuckled cruelly. “This is the fourth this month; you are getting soft merc.”
Rolling his eyes, Conor could admit he was softer than most of the other mercenaries and gangsters in the city's neutral sections. Having seen his fair share of how bad this city can be, Conor did his best not to fuck over those who were just down on bad times and were not trying to cause him issues.
Life was arduous enough for them. So he gave back by lugging hookers and junkies to the nearest tech head and paying for their treatment or the closest Zential clinic. The Zentials were more than willing to treat the downtrodden for free, unlike the other medical services in Heavalun—stitch included.
He considered it his way of giving back and maybe finding Urka's good grace. Perhaps the god might forgive him for being a general piece of hreck shit if he continued to until he did. But he would not know until he finally kicked the bucket.
His intervention was a drop of clean water in the ocean of venom in this city. The other locals were more than willing to pick those he aided clean in minutes. They might as well be a swarm of bealit beatles eating carrion with how ravenous they were.
“It ain’t that. Just open the damn door,” Conor growled, punching the door again.
“Hold on, you greased-up cyborg,” Stitch frantically complained, worried that Conor would break his door again.
Conor smirked, glad the strange form of tolerance he and Stitch had built over the years was still strong. At this point, it was their modus operandi. Neither hated the other; no, they respected one another's role in this shithole.
Both toles put them in harm's way and brought them respect and infamy.
However, Conor found the way the denizens of Heavalun treated them funny. If you asked the average COS or GU citizen, who was more brutal: a mercenary with a pension for hyper-violence and little regard for collateral damage—-or a skeletal Itelv doctor who regularly performs life-saving surgery? They would choose Conor ten out of ten times. They did not know Stitch like Conor, Brakul, or most of the people in this city section.
They would tell you the truth of the good doctor.
They would weave you a tale of a greedy, crit-pinching asshole and that Stitch was the type of man who would stitch up for pay but would just as quickly harvest your organs for sale, or Urka forbid he would stick some experimental tech inside you and wait for your inevitable death to retrieve his property.
The door at long last opened with a vile hiss, and a gangly grey-skinned hand forced it open.
Stitch was just about as tall as Conor. But his thin grey limbs made him look one stiff breeze away from taking flight, with only his heavy artificial spider-like legs keeping him firmly on the planet.
Draped over his pencil-thin neck was a once-white apron. After years of use, it was stained with blood, oil, and hydraulic fluid.
“If she ain't one of your precious hookers, put her on the table. I will get my tool ready,” Stitch hissed, jamming his thumb over a shoulder.
“I ain’t selling this one to you either. Girlie got tagged by visage, and I need yah to treat her,” Conor replied, pushing past and laying the blonde on the recovery bed.
“You said she ain’t some hooker,” Stitch complained following, having gotten tired of Conor no longer bringing him fresh meat to sell.
Once Conor turned around and was about to explain the situation, Stitch pressed a bony finger into Conor's chest. “I told you, I'm selling the next one. She is it,”
“Can it doc. She is a client,” Conor replied. “Or are you going to explain to Brakul why you cut her up?”
Stitch clicked his tongue but did not try to move closer. His glassy, verdant eyes pulled Conor and the girl apart as he weighed the pros and cons of allying with Conor and Brakul another time.
“What is in it for me?” Stitch questioned, tapping a finger on a scalpel attached to his tool belt.
Conor sighed, realizing he should have expected this question, but he was not the broker of deals. That was Brakul’s schtick, and he was running late.
“You can take her jewelry and any credsticks you find on her. Alright?” Conor replied, knowing Brakul likely would have made a similar deal.
Stitch nodded and slinked closer to the woman. He lifted the necklace from her chest and carefully examined the jewels with a prudish eye any good businessman should have. After Stitch activated his magnified eyes, his cornea glowed gold, letting him see the atoms of the shiny trinket.
The doctor grinned cruelly, letting his crystalline teeth show proudly. The sight was unsettling and made Conor grip his pistol, fearing the doctor would flip his shit and decide it was not enough payment and try to cut the girl up.
But he did not start to slice her skin open. Instead, he sniggered nearly uncontrollably for a few moments, then spoke. “Yes, yes, yes. This will do just fine,” He sneered.
Conor was unsure what the jewels were, but they must be worth far more than he initially thought. For Urka's sake, Stitch was drooling on the necklace and the passed-out girl's chest.
“Good. So you will take care of her?” Conor questioned, needing to hear an assured answer.
Quickly slipping the jewelry into his pocket, Stitch looked back at Conor, his demeanor having done a complete one-eighty. “Of course, I always have room for paying customers.”
“Oh sweet, Conor, you handled the deal,” Brakul said, having just stepped in through the doors.
Why Brakul was allowed unfettered access to Stitch’s clinic and Conor was not something Conor had wondered for years but had accepted it as something to do with their role in the duo.
“Yeah, and he will watch the client. But we had yet to lay out the finer details,” Conor explained.
“Ah, no issue, I can take it from here,” Brakul replied.
-----
so what did you think? a decent chapter or total trash? either way I wanna know. I will see you all in the comments. please don't forget to comment and updoot.
your baker
-Pirate
-----
Prev
Next
Buy My Novels

I 29F live with my mom, older brother by 6 yrs and 95yr old grandma. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety from about 20yrs old and have probably been living with it since I was a child but didn't know what it was. Since I was a child I have had a lot of responsibility placed on me as the "gifted kid" that would "save and protect" the family and hold it together. Now, I wasn't aware I was being put into that role until I got to live and work abroad and had some time to reflect and also talk to peers to realise that most people don't live their childhood, teens and twenties supporting their family of adults - especially not as the youngest member of the household.
That job abroad felt like it was the first time doing something for myself and by myself but quickly became supporting the family financially and at every beck and call from abroad. My mom would vent to me about whatever is daunting on her emotionally, stressing her financially etc and being so used to it - I always made it become my problem to fix it. This lead to a problem where, I have no savings, no property that isn't tied to/shared with someone else, and I am constantly mentally drained and emotionally exhausted till I just don't have the mental capacity to work on my own goals and aspirations. Further stressing me out is I actually have a lot of big goals and aspirations and expectations I set to myself. Being so far behind, esp when it seems like its mostly not my fault (apart from my enabling it etc) doesn't do wonders for my mental health.
The usual pattern in my life is as soon as the slightest good thing happens, or even just a shift in my mental health (say motivation comes from somewhere and I really start to put plans into action) - something much worse happens that forces me back into my abyss. Except, it gets deeper and deeper every time. I'll spare you several examples.
So upon my realisation that I was probably "parentified", that my mom is far too reliant on me as a second breadwinner and that I am functionally her husband - I wrote her a letter saying I was pulling the plug on all that, that they all needed to learn how to live without relying on me because I don't even want kids and don't see why I am supporting adults when I don't even live there at the moment. I was going to express that they are fundamentally holding me back and that it has to and would stop.
Unfortunately, before I could finish that letter, mom calls to say she was diagnosed with cancer. Now this too would be somehow my issue to fix cause my brother though working always made less than me and he was extremely unwilling to take care of mom. Even to just take her to doctors appointments he couldn't be bothered to do, preferring to just work instead. While I was abroad I had to ask my friends and mom had to ask her friends for that kind of support and I eventually hired a caregiver that I sent money back home (in addition to my usual financial aid). Eventually it would come to pass that mom would need chemo and the possibility she may not survive. I was afraid to come home lest all the burden of this naturally high stress situation fell on me - but at the same time what if she doesn't make it and I never saw her again?
I couldn't afford a roundtrip airfare and the arrangement with my job was if I terminated at the end of my contract without renewing I could go home at my employer's expense. I decided to quit and come home after a less than hopeful conversation with my mom's oncologist. This meant financially we'd be reliant on mom's regular burdened by debt income, her insurance and my brother's income (this never happened btw) to get by since I am now jobless.
What I feared happening happened exactly AND more! Not only did the caregiver I hired eventually walk off the job which made me mom's primary caregiver, her nurse, her chauffer, personal assistant and courier. I also became the housekeeper, the shot caller, the household manager, the cook, the plumber... you get the idea. On top of that, my brother would be a regular thorn in the side because he would throw tantrums when I needed the car to do things for mom (mom and I own the car but mom started to let him drive it while I was away since he recently got his license). He was highly uncooperative with handling his own personal responsibilities (eg taking care of his cats), as well as anything where I would need extra help with mom. My grandma also would complicate things ( she has always been a narcistic bitch and no one in the family likes her but mom insists she has to stay cause mom is a pushover - you see who I get it from yes. Grandma would actively compete with my mom for pity points, faking sickness, deliberately making herself sick, exerting herself unnecessarily to then feign weakness and guilt trip me - all because she wanted the same attention that I gave the cancer patient.
Mom too, would put me under emotional duress cause in all this she also wanted me to do everything and be happy about it even if I had to pretend. She would start to make demands, oddly specific meal requests of someone who does not cook at all, demand having access to me at all times of day, and if I were to take free time out of the house by myself, she would insist I need to do something for the house or for her while I was out esp if I was going to use her car (the car we both own, that when we bought she told me it was mine and the car that is officially willed to me - yes that one). We also had several arguments where I learned she always thought that cause I was the "smart one" she expected that I could be fully left to my devices and I'd turn out fine and she could rely on me to take care of my deadbeat, driven-less, lazy, lonely, woman-blaming incel and approaching sexually deviant brother after she eventually passes. Cause she is confident that he may never learn to fully adult. And she is likely right by her own fault was she coddles him and shields him from every form of consequence of his action or inaction and is very hesitant about any kind of tough love for him but when it comes to me - even with the slightest of things/benefits she will quickly withhold because "I am inherently more privileged" than he is.
In all of this, my friends when I reach out for support never want to show up. They don't want to deal with any of my problems. No one wants to let me stay even for a week to get a break from my household. Most of them anyway I can't even trust cause they see me as their scapegoat for female touch and affection and since I am no longer willing to pity their loneliness they have gone extremely cold and some try to skirt around touching me inappropriately when they're around me.
Now, I also live in a poor country where pay is always shit. I still only have a bachelors in something that pays extra shit at entry level esp in my country. Peers in my country have very different interests than me usually which is how I am still with the same circle of misfits I have from high school as friends. There's not really anything to do at home that interests me - career wise or entertainment wise. Which is why getting out was such a high priority. But as you can see that's always been and continues to be put on the back burner.
Now that mom is doing much better, its back to looking at exiting cause I will not ever feel better if I stay in this house or even in that country. And my family can thank themselves for finally pushing me to the point where I really don't care what happens to them once I am confidently gone.
So I have shit family, shit friends, no job, my family is actively trying to strip me of any kind of power or leverage with what I do own, changing the conversation as necessary if it means I stay trapped. All because I unfortunately expressed that I want out and that I am not of the opinion that family is everything or blood is thicker than water. Once I get a job, it probably won't pay well enough to rent and apparently the car I part own isn't really mine while I live in my mom's house (which is also legally, partially mine) by her logic. Public transit is very expensive, so if I rent without a car that's even more money I'd have to make. I'd also have to accept the risks that come with public transit in a murder-loving country esp a murder-against-women-loving country vs just brute forcing the mental trauma of staying at that pitiful excuse of a home.
This was a lot longer than planned and if you read all of that, thank you. Sincerely. If you have any tips on how to cope in a high stress, high pressure environment besides hobbies, meditation and exercise - enlighten me. If you skipped to the end, I am not doing a TLDR. I will just wish you blessings and I hope that your life is on a better trend than mine ever was.

Hello, first of all English is not my first language. So im sorry if i make any mistakes. A few days ago, i saw a quote on tiktok. "I like girls because I like YOU, I don't like you because i like GIRLS" And i just thought how similar this sounds to the experience i am having right now. I am in highschool, and this is my first year. I have 2 friends in my class that i hang out with. Three of us are girls. (Quick disclaimer: In my country teachers switch classes, not students so you have the exact same classmates for the entire year)
And one of them, im going to call her Esther, (this is not her real name) is making me feel some feelings i didnt even know i could feel. From the beginning of the year, i become friends with these girls. They are kind, funny and i really love them. But this is about something beyond friendship. And i think i am the only one who feels that way.
Everything started when we started to go out after school to have fun. When we continued to go out, and talk more about our lives i became so close with these girls. I love them, maybe they are not perfect but they are amazing friends.
I always knew something was a bit odd about me, now i dont think it is odd of course. When i was in kindergarten, when i played games with my friends i was always the saviour, the hero who saved the princess and i was so passionate about it too lol. Growing up, i had some thoughts about wanting to be a boy so i could hold girls like boys did, i can touch them but not in a friendly way. Like i just wanted a girlfriend. I didnt even know what being gay meant until i was 8. And these happened before that. After 8, i still thought about these but i was so STRICT about not being gay.
Some time passed, i become more and more aware of my feelings and my opinions. I became the biggest ally, if someone asked my if i was gay i was straight! Just straight. So i always kept my feelings as a secret. But they become bigger and bigger by each day. I started to listen queer songs, i started to research bisexuality and i even read that one comphet lesbian essay. But the thing that made me realise my sexuality the most is that i felt disgusted everytime a boy showed a "masculine" gesture. But i liked men? I have SO many celebrity crushes. But i just cannot get myself like a guy in my town. The other day when i was out with Esther, a guys came up and asked for my instagram. I gave it to him, we talked a bit and i just never felt excited. He was handsome, he was really cute and respectful but i just couldnt. But i HAVE celebrity crushes so i really dont know. I think men are hot, i would like to have a boyfriend. But i just cannot imagine marrying a men, so i just thought i was not made for marriage. But the idea of having a female partner... felt almost comforting. Its like i wouldnt dislike that.
I had lot of conversations with my mom about queer people. My parents are allys, they were always chill and cool about that stuff. But my mom told me something.
"I support their rights to live, but i think i would get so shocked, and i would have a hard time if my child was gay."
I dont think these words really affected me much because i know my parents would accept me if i was gay or not. But there is just SO much difficulties of accepting yourself.
So i want to talk about Esther, the main topic of this post.
She is really pretty, and smart. I just feel so nice and free with her. When we go out, she understands me, i understand her. She is a bit shorter than me, so petite and just so cute. She even has some piercings haha. She is an atheist just like me, and she is like one of the few people besides my parents that i can talk about atheism. She is very experienced, very mature but fun at the same time. She has a lot of exes, but i never thought one of them was good enough for her. I just met her this school year but i dont want to leave her side. Today, when i was laying my head on her thighs she stroked my hair with her fingers, it felt amazing. She always looks at my eyes while i speak, and i am the type of person who LOVES eye contact. So i told her that i loved this the best about her. Her eyes are really pretty too, like very dark brown. Today i compared my light brown, almost honey coloured curly hair with her black, straight hair and i just become so happy, i dont know why. I am a bit selfish. Like everytime i have friends i just dont like them a lot, you know? But she is different. I adore her.
My other friend in our trio is really nice. I just know i like her in a friendly way. But when Esther laughs, and her voice sometimes makes this very cute voice shen she laughs i melt. I had crushes in middle school, i even had a crush this year, but i just liked the way they looked. I can never compare the emotional connection i have with Esther with any guy i could talk.
Esther has a boyfriend. She is straight. She sat on my lap, we hug everyday. She kisses my forehead and we both play with eachothers hair. I did these exact things with my old friend but i NEVER felt anything. Like just friendly love, thats it. With Esther, it feels intimate. It feels wrong but she doesnt know. She just loves me. I dont hate her boyfriend, he is just not good enough for her. You can ask, do you think you are good enough for her? Well yes. I understand her better than any men ever could. She had 2 boyfriends in this school year and both of them are just some stupid teenage boys. They wouldnt listen her ideas about the universe, they wouldnt like it if she made a dirty joke, but i did. And i loved it too.
But the problem is she wants a guy, and she is only going to see me as her bestfriend. I am a bit taller than her, but i am a girly girl. She wears dresses when we hangout, i wear skirts. She tells me everything about her boyfriend, and i just know that when they broke up, i am going to listen and comfort her. I will be there. And i just want to cry everytime she does these little cute gestures towards me. Do i love her? Am i gay? Am i bisexual? I dont know. I am so confused. I dont want to ruin or friendship so i will NEVER say anything about this. I dont really want advice, but i would be happy if you guys just tell me your opinions. Thank you...

Had a troubled youth involving my mother having severe and life-threatening illnesses and experiencing domestic violence from my father. Classmates used to bully me heavily. Compensated with a lot of sports, stayed away from drugs. Been alone all time, grades were horrible. Managed to graduate from high school (german Abitur), dealt with my past for 3 years doing all kinds of jobs such as cashier, bartender etc. - spending a lot of time reflecting and fighting depression. Been working out and eating healthy since then. I g ot over with all but I had no idea what to do with my life. I then graduated with a B. Sc. Biotechnology but I hated/regret it. W ent on for chemistry and started all over. Now in my last semester with one of the best GPA of my semester. Getting appreciation from professors and research assistants. Working as a low-paid lab instructor for the physics department, but it get's the rent paid. While I am really content with my decision of doing a second degree which I truly enjoy (even though it's so time consuming and stressful that I've only got time for sports), I'm having the worst time. I recently broke up with my fiancé. I was in a toxic relationship with her 6 years in total. Due to many reasons (especially jealousy from her side and manipulation) I lost nearly all my friends except of 2-3. Besides them, I only had her and a few cousins from her. After attending the wedding from one of my three only best friends, I got to know another woman I fell heavily in love. Although she told me she had a boyfriend, she also assured it wasn't going well between them. So I kept flirting ultimately knowing into what trouble it can cause me. She didn't rejected my whole bunch of flirting but instead was telling me how sweet etc. she found the stuff. I just figured from a close friend of the lady that she was on very good terms with her boyfriend. I acknowledged this and respect that, but it is already to late. I broke up with my fiancé naturally since I fell in love with the other one - and the relationship was toxic and horrible anyway. I don't want to interfere with the other lady's relationship, so I stopped contacting her. Now I feel I'm stuck with my career choice and having no social life at all. I decided to break up contact to all the friends I had since everyone just reminds me of this situation. Some of them fueled the situation by motivating me into the choices I did. I know it's all my fault, so I do not really blame them. I feel empty, mad, angry, confused all at the same time - but in total I feel I screwed up big time. There are no excuses. I feel lonely but fear that I won't have time for dealing with this properly. At least I haven't any ideas how to go on from here. My life is a mess... After all this trouble in my life, I just want somebody I can give love to - and be happy with the other part. It's really dragging me down and I don't know how to deal with it.

This happened yesterday and I’m still in complete shock. Here’s a short background into my ex (all fake names). So I (22F) was with Brandon (22M) for only a few months last fall. Overall he was not a good boyfriend. He was very selfish and r*ped me on multiple occasions. Then would proceed to gaslight me into thinking it wasn’t a big deal and I gaslit myself into thinking it too. It wasn’t until I finally had enough and I dumped him right before new years after being together for 3 months. I was sad for about 24 hours and then I was completely fine and over him.
Fast forward to March and I met a new guy Charlie (23M). He seemed great and we truly hit it off. To make a very long story short this man was not who he said he was. It was really messy but I cut that off immediately when I got the “hey girlie” text that he was seeing a total of 4 women that we know of. There was a lot to that story and all the lies he was telling weren’t adding up. I was truly scared for my safety.
The evening of me ending everything with Charlie my ex Brandon requested to follow me on instagram. This was all too much of a coincidence. I was in a not healthy state of mind that day so I convinced myself that he knew what had happened to me that day. I dm him a question mark trying to figure out what he could possible want. He said he just wanted to check in on me. That’s when I asked him if he knew what had happened to me and I told him I was not doing well. Next thing I know I end up in his apartment telling him the hour long version of the story I mentioned above. To top it all off there were then tornadoes that night. I felt like the universe was simply out to get me.
After I told him everything he asks if he can give me a hug. I said yes cause I really needed one in that moment. He then proceeds to leave the hug and bend down and kiss me. He asks if that was ok and I was simply shocked. He then confesses his love for me and tells me he can’t stop thinking about me and all the good times we had. In my opinion there were very few of those but even after everything I still cared about him as a person. I had absolutely no romantic feelings but he was still in love with me.
We come to the conclusion that we will be fwb. He was leaving to go on vacation in a week and was going to be gone for a month. This was only going to be a short arrangement. We hooked up several times and it was a million times better than when we were together. Interesting how that works. I still had no feelings for him it was simply just sex to me. He kept trying to get back with me and I kept telling him no. I asked him several times if he could handle just fwb and he said he could and that he didn’t want to lose me again.
Now I met Luke (22M) a week ago. We hit it off and went on several dates. He’s such a sweet man and something I haven’t found in a while. Yesterday he invited me to go kayaking with him and his best friend. I very happily agreed and we had a wonderful time. We kayaked down the river, had a lot of drinks, made friends with the other kayakers and just continued to get to know each other. At one point Luke saw that there was a woman who was stuck in the brush on the side of the river. He tries to go and help her (shoutout to him for being so kind) but tips his kayak losing his phone in the river.
We make it off the river and back to his truck. He needed to call his mom about losing the phone and having to go to the store to get a new one. He uses my phone to call her and then hands me my phone back still on but I didn’t realize it at the time. Me and his friend were both several drinks deep and having a great time. I don’t even know what we were talking about but I look down at my phone and see that I had called Brandon. I have no idea if he picked up or if I was leaving a message but it was 3 mins long. I freaked out and hung up the phone in complete shock. The guys were very confused and I had to explain what just happened.
We make it back to his house and I need a minute to be alone. I couldn’t believe that just happened. I really like Luke and I don’t want to mess anything up. The guys go inside not realizing that I then went to just sit in my car (I did not turn it on I just needed a minute to break down without anyone with me). I break down and immediately go to block Brandon on everything. The guys come out quickly after to see me just sitting in my car. They come over and are being goofy not realizing I was sobbing. I could not stop apologizing thinking I just screwed everything up. He was so kind to me and mostly just felt bad for the unfortunate circumstance I found myself in. Luke and I have only been talking a week so obviously there hasn’t been any commitment to each other type of conversation just yet. Both guys did their best to make light of the situation and just try and make me laugh which is what I needed in that moment. I pulled myself together and when I got out of my car Luke pulled me into a big hug.
So yeah. My ex is completely blocked on everything. I have no idea what he heard or how he feels. I realize that I am probably an asshole in all of this. But what are the odds that out of everyone in my phone he was the one I called? It’ll be funny in probably a couple months but I’m currently embarrassed and petrified.

This is inspired by so many posts in the jobs and debt subs where people seem genuinely helpless and distressed.
Obviously, finances and lifestyle are deeply personal and, in reality, no one would allow another person to see the full situation and/or make suggestions, so financial coaches and teachers sort of just have to believe the person with only a cursory idea of the person's situation (like official income and bills).
Still, I can't help to think that, for so many people who claim they can't save or make ends meet, etc., if they could be fully observed 24/7 for a full month (hell, even a week or day) and have full access to their finances (including all income, debt, financial records, etc.), as well as habits; how they spend their time, etc., then their problems could be diagnosed and a plan could be devised to fix their situation; like, "Why are you spending this much on this?" "Did you realize this subscription - that you don't even use - is costing you $50 a month?" "You claim to have no free time to get a second job, but you just watched 4 hours of TV/YouTube each night this week..." etc. I'm not suggesting no one should have any fun or a new iPhone or get coffee from a shop, but it'd be interesting to see the full picture in context.
Again, this would be super invasive and would probably offend the person who was under the microscope, but I was thinking about this while watching "My 600lb Life" last night, since obviously the camera doesn't follow them around 24/7 and they tell Dr. Now that they're sticking to the diet, yet they often don't lose any weight by the follow-up appointment...
Now, assuming someone actually wanted to face the truth of their financial situation and was willing to undergo the potential embarrassment and vulnerability, do you think there'd be a market for this sort of total scrutiny to get a person back on track financially? I'm sure the person themselves wouldn't be able/willing to pay for it, but perhaps a non-profit service? I just know that when I was doing DR's plan, I certainly wasn't as gazelle intense as I could have been and someone delivering this kind of service could have had a million and one ways to tear me apart.
On a side note, I often wonder how much is willful blindness to one's own bad decisions versus genuinely being unaware of problems or bad habits which trap people into poverty or not being able to get ahead financially.