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2024.05.21 20:43 Zestyclose_Buddy8166 I suspect my two close friends are in a relationship and I'm feeling like a third wheel
I (24F) suspect my close friends Jane (22F) and Mike (25M) are in a relationship with each other, but I'm not sure of it. I had my suspicions, but I always just chucked it up to them being comfortable with each other, but recent events have brought things into perspective.
For context, Mike and I became friends at the start of the first semester in our 3rd year of college. We are in the same major (same as Jane), and we bonded over some 2nd year courses we both had to retake due to some issues. Mike and I have become good friends since then. Our rented apartments are a short walking distance apart, so sometimes I go over to his during exams so we study together and share notes and texts, and other times I just go there to hang out and chill with his flatmates, and vice versa. I stay alone, though. At the time, neither of us were close to Jane; I wouldn't call us friends (with her), but there was also no enemity or anything; we just casually exchanged greetings whenever we bumped into each other or when we met in class.
Jane and I had always attended the same church in college, but like i said earlier, we weren't friends, so we always exchanged hello's and hi's, and that was it. I just knew her as one of the smart/intelligent ones in class. We were both appointed as leaders in different departments in our 4th year, despite the fact that we both didn't want the positions. We bonded over our mutual feelings of how wrong it was that the positions were forced on us even after we voiced out that we didn't want them. Naturally, hello's and hi's progressed to longer conversations, and we realised we had some similar interests and views on certain topics like relationships and marriage, and we also live in the same state and are not that far apart either.
She usually talks about how she can't picture herself in love or in a relationship with someone and usually cringes at display of love, when the topic of relationship comes up or when she sees people gushing about their boyfriends. I found it contradictory since she reads a lot of romance novels, but then there are folks like that. On some levels, I related to her feelings, but I'm not as averse to them as she was. In her words, she said, "It's hard for me to like somebody in a romantic way; I've only ever liked one person, and it didn't last that long." She is not the type to go out of her way to cook or join in meal prep because she doesn't like cooking and finds it stressful, which was something else we bonded over.
Jane and Mike connected through me since I'm almost always with Mike in and out of school. He is naturally a free and friendly person so it didn't take long for them to get close, and so it began: our trio's friendship. We would walk back home together, talking about random things or something related to school. Jane's flat is also not so far from ours, so chilling at each other's place wasn't rare. I still remember the first time Jane wanted to go over to Mike's place. She asked me to come along with her since she was new to the group (by group, I mean including Mike's flatmates) and felt awkward. All we did was just watch movies. That concludes the backstory
Fast forward to finals; we got really busy with projects, seminars, and exams. Naturally, there would be no time for hangouts anymore; at least that's what I thought, but Mike and Jane still had solid communication almost every day and met up quite often. which is why i didn't think much of it when i started meeting up with them again and I noticed the dynamics had changed since i was M.I.A. for while, I was under a lot of pressure that period so i was really focused on school. Now they are done and just waiting for graduation, but I still have some exams to take. Recently, she has been hanging at his place a lot more than before with her younger brother, who recently got into the school.
My reason for making this post is that last Saturday was Mike's birthday, and he asked me to come over for a little get-together of friends. It was really fun. After eating, we cut the cake, and he thanked us for coming. Then everyone was just dancing and having a good time. Eventually, the fun began to fizzle out as it was getting late and people had started leaving. When I was ready to leave, Jane said, "Let's see you off." Then she and Mike followed me out of the apartment, and as we walked, there was this awkward silence that lasted for a minute, which is unusual. I felt out of place, like I wasn't supposed to be there, so I decided to bring up the games they played during the party so we could talk about something instead of the awkward silence that hung in the air, and that was all we talked about till we got to my place and they both went back. There are other things I've picked up on, but this one is the most glaring to me because it has never happened before.
I've been thinking of asking Mike about it, but I don't know if it'll come off as me prying, but I feel like I need to know so I can be self-aware about giving them space or privacy whenever they are together. Some other signs are when she'll want him to support her when we have a disagreement on a topic or when she comes to his defence whenever I'm teasing him about something. She always does it in a she-and-him-against-me kind of way, which I find very odd considering that we are supposed to be friends?. Another sign was the fact she helped with the cooking prep for the birthday and doing the dishes, both things she always firmly says she wouldn't do unless she had to, like when her mom says she should or at her own apartment. Any advice will be really helpful.
submitted by Zestyclose_Buddy8166 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
For context, Mike and I became friends at the start of the first semester in our 3rd year of college. We are in the same major (same as Jane), and we bonded over some 2nd year courses we both had to retake due to some issues. Mike and I have become good friends since then. Our rented apartments are a short walking distance apart, so sometimes I go over to his during exams so we study together and share notes and texts, and other times I just go there to hang out and chill with his flatmates, and vice versa. I stay alone, though. At the time, neither of us were close to Jane; I wouldn't call us friends (with her), but there was also no enemity or anything; we just casually exchanged greetings whenever we bumped into each other or when we met in class.
Jane and I had always attended the same church in college, but like i said earlier, we weren't friends, so we always exchanged hello's and hi's, and that was it. I just knew her as one of the smart/intelligent ones in class. We were both appointed as leaders in different departments in our 4th year, despite the fact that we both didn't want the positions. We bonded over our mutual feelings of how wrong it was that the positions were forced on us even after we voiced out that we didn't want them. Naturally, hello's and hi's progressed to longer conversations, and we realised we had some similar interests and views on certain topics like relationships and marriage, and we also live in the same state and are not that far apart either.
She usually talks about how she can't picture herself in love or in a relationship with someone and usually cringes at display of love, when the topic of relationship comes up or when she sees people gushing about their boyfriends. I found it contradictory since she reads a lot of romance novels, but then there are folks like that. On some levels, I related to her feelings, but I'm not as averse to them as she was. In her words, she said, "It's hard for me to like somebody in a romantic way; I've only ever liked one person, and it didn't last that long." She is not the type to go out of her way to cook or join in meal prep because she doesn't like cooking and finds it stressful, which was something else we bonded over.
Jane and Mike connected through me since I'm almost always with Mike in and out of school. He is naturally a free and friendly person so it didn't take long for them to get close, and so it began: our trio's friendship. We would walk back home together, talking about random things or something related to school. Jane's flat is also not so far from ours, so chilling at each other's place wasn't rare. I still remember the first time Jane wanted to go over to Mike's place. She asked me to come along with her since she was new to the group (by group, I mean including Mike's flatmates) and felt awkward. All we did was just watch movies. That concludes the backstory
Fast forward to finals; we got really busy with projects, seminars, and exams. Naturally, there would be no time for hangouts anymore; at least that's what I thought, but Mike and Jane still had solid communication almost every day and met up quite often. which is why i didn't think much of it when i started meeting up with them again and I noticed the dynamics had changed since i was M.I.A. for while, I was under a lot of pressure that period so i was really focused on school. Now they are done and just waiting for graduation, but I still have some exams to take. Recently, she has been hanging at his place a lot more than before with her younger brother, who recently got into the school.
My reason for making this post is that last Saturday was Mike's birthday, and he asked me to come over for a little get-together of friends. It was really fun. After eating, we cut the cake, and he thanked us for coming. Then everyone was just dancing and having a good time. Eventually, the fun began to fizzle out as it was getting late and people had started leaving. When I was ready to leave, Jane said, "Let's see you off." Then she and Mike followed me out of the apartment, and as we walked, there was this awkward silence that lasted for a minute, which is unusual. I felt out of place, like I wasn't supposed to be there, so I decided to bring up the games they played during the party so we could talk about something instead of the awkward silence that hung in the air, and that was all we talked about till we got to my place and they both went back. There are other things I've picked up on, but this one is the most glaring to me because it has never happened before.
I've been thinking of asking Mike about it, but I don't know if it'll come off as me prying, but I feel like I need to know so I can be self-aware about giving them space or privacy whenever they are together. Some other signs are when she'll want him to support her when we have a disagreement on a topic or when she comes to his defence whenever I'm teasing him about something. She always does it in a she-and-him-against-me kind of way, which I find very odd considering that we are supposed to be friends?. Another sign was the fact she helped with the cooking prep for the birthday and doing the dishes, both things she always firmly says she wouldn't do unless she had to, like when her mom says she should or at her own apartment. Any advice will be really helpful.
2024.05.21 20:43 CDown01 J.'s Journals: The Lieutenant
Previous Entry
Writing these things has made me realize how different I sound these days. Back when all this started I’m not sure I even spoke English and I certainly didn’t speak like I do now but to be honest, I don’t remember. Trying to recall things to write has made me realize exactly how many little things I’ve forgotten over the years. The sights, the sounds, all those fade into the background of most events.
Even something as visceral as Archer’s basement still takes me a while to recall clearly. I wonder if it’s more than just my long life, we do age after all. I mentioned before that sunlight is not deadly to vampires like myself but very unpleasant, that and it makes us more normal. In the sun I won’t be as strong as I would be in the dark and by my assessment I age in the sun as well. Not any faster than a normal person but I do age, its why I don’t still look like that little boy stuck in Paris anymore.
I did spend quite some time in Paris before I left or rather, escaped. I’m not sure I ever would have left if not for the war. I didn’t have many friends there save for other… I’m not sure what to call them… entities? Whatever you want to cal it I had some friends in the more supernatural parts of the city. A vampire named Belle had become a sort of mother figure to me over the years spent there.
I met her by chance one night as I sated myself in an alley. I was ready to fight but she just laughed and flashed her own fangs at me, ridiculing me for being so careless. It was under her wing where I learned everything I know now about vampires. It’s where I realized not all vampires endure sunlight as well as I do, if anything that one trait is what’s most unique about me according to her. But thats not the story I want to tell on these pages tonight. I want to tell the story of lieutenant Marsh and the real beginnings of the organization that would become Chimera.
When war came to Paris that summer I was unprepared. I never expected the war to spiral out of hand so quickly or for it to force me out of my home. I was with Belle and a few more of her friends whose names escape me waiting out the worst of it and hoping things would blow over in the city soon. Obviously we were completely misguided, it was that sense of invulnerability again just the same as when I was a boy. The world was our playground and nothing could hurt us. It didn’t help that in some ways I really was invulnerable and it went straight to my head.
Only flashes of my memory from that day remain. I remember the nazi soldier kicking in the door and firing at Belle’s friends. I remember the screaming that abruptly ended in a single gunshot. I remember the trail of blood leading to her friends body where it lay staked to the ground in the sun. We heal fast, not instantly but much faster than a human. Put us in sunlight though, and we’re just as fragile as a normal person. It was the first time I’d seen someone with abilities like ours die and it made me feel mortal again for the first time in decades.
The rest of the day is a disjointed blur. Belle and I fled the city, I blank out on the specifics of it but we made it out with some difficulty. After that we hunkered down for the night in a rickety old shack. I remember wanting to push on through the day but Belle protested, she didn’t deal with the sun as well as I did. When night finally fell we fled to the coast and managed to catch a ship heading towards the United States.
The trip was unpleasant to say the least, neither of us made good stowaways. We weren’t living life in the lap of luxury before by any means but we lived comfortably. This was a far cry from what we were used to in Paris and the welcome we received was even worse. Apparently fleeing for your own survival is a crime, both of us were separated and sent to prison on our arrival to the states for stowing away on the ship.
That was the last time I ever saw Belle, I get letters from her every now and then but I haven’t seen her in person since. She does well for herself, works in D.C. as a sort of handler for the supernatural. Regrettably she does work with Chimera, says they have the best interests at heart for the supernatural but she doesn’t see what I see out here. She doesn’t know the part I played in its creation, what it really stood for in the beginning. Chimera tends to kill first these days rather than actually try to help or give the supernatural some kind of place in the world. I think thats why I haven’t been to visit her, I just don’t want to argue with a friend as old as her. Funnily enough I don’t think anyone knows she’s a vampire. I doubt they’d take that very well, she’d probably lose her position. They must have suspicions though because theres no way she’d be able to get letters to me without Baelen knowing about it. Every few months they keep showing up though and I always make sure to write her back.
Anyways I’m getting off topic, back to my story. I was in prison for months until an offer came my way, serve the rest of my sentence or enlist in the army and be a free man when I came back, if I came back. Of course I took the offer, I didn’t realize how suspicious that deal sounded at the time but it actually played out exactly as they said. I also didn’t have much of a choice in the matter either. It was hard to get my hands on any blood when I was almost constantly under watch and I could feel the effects it was having on me. I figured it would be best to get a change of scenery.
The next week I was off to training then not long after, we shipped out to the trenches and met the commander of the platoon I’d been assigned to. That’s the first time I met Lieutenant Johnson Marsh and what a man he was. That first day I was convinced I’d never see a smile ever again, the trenches were a horrible depressing place. But there Marsh was, laughing and smiling and just generally enjoying life with the rest of the platoon. He was either crazy or stupid, thats what my first thoughts about him were. I remember those clearly even today but I couldn’t have been more wrong. If anything he may have turned out to be one of the smartest men I ever knew.
The first few weeks were spent holding our position from the germans. It was brutal but I found I was a decent shot with the rifle I was given. Marsh on the other hand spent those weeks barking orders at us and keeping us in line. He never used a rifle like most of the soldiers used. Instead he kept a Beretta m9 with him at all times. That weapon was the only one I ever saw him use. I remember the name only because he was so found of explaining everything there was to know about the gun to me whenever I questioned him about it. You could immediately recognize the pistol as his by its strange grip. One side of it had a picture of an idyllic scene of a manor house in the middle of a sprawling field. The other had a painting of a woman, his wife I’d guess but he never actually told me if that was there case. He seemed to spend the nights staring with longing at each side of the artistic grip.
I’d never really had a family, even with Belle I’d always felt like I was a bit of an outsider. There was so much I didn’t know about how normal people lived. Even though I’d had friends in Paris we were always kind of hidden away in our own personal corner. There was this separation between us and normal life, even between the other supernaturals in the area.
Here I felt like I was part of something though. Sure I was still lost but so was everyone else, we could be lost together and Marsh would always set us straight in the end. There was something about the man, some piece of him that just understood what we were all going through. He expected a lot from us but he was never unreasonable and several times even argued with command on our behalf when ridiculous orders came our way. I actually wanted to serve with him. The rest of the platoon wasn’t bad but they’d all been given the same deal as me. They were all just there to get out of prison. I’m still not sure what Marsh’s story was, he always kept that to himself but any of us would’ve taken a bullet for that man.
Our first real assignment came maybe three months into my period of indentured service. Our platoon was tasked with rescuing a captured American scientist and capturing a German scientist. The scientists in question were Frank Smith and Stein Hoffman and no, the irony of those names is not lost on me, fits the two of them though. I’m sure doctor Frankenstein wishes he was successful as those two. But before those orders could be acted on we had to overtake a German trench surrounding the compound they were staying in.
That fight was bloody and we lost several good men in the chaos. At one point a trench gun was shoved into my arms and I launched myself into the German trench. I wouldn’t be surprised if ghost stories are still passed around of what I did that day. After I made my way over and into the German trench I lashed out with all I had. Moving with superhuman speed and lashing out with both the bayonet affixed to my gun and my fangs, I fell upon the Germans. They stood little chance as I tore into them and all by my lonesome I ensured we’d face no more resistance.
Marsh was the first over into the now silent trench, I’m glad it was him because I’m not sure anyone else would’ve understood like him. I was holding the German officer to the trench wall, fangs buried in his neck as I fed when I heard footsteps behind me. I dropped him and turned to see Marsh staring questioningly at me. I must’ve been a sight to see, blood dripping from my mouth and covering my bullet torn uniform. Marsh steadied himself for a moment and shouted back to the rest of the platoon,
“Boys hold up a second! Just get down and stay up there a minute won’tcha!”
All of a sudden he took a step forward and a well mannered grin took its usual place on his lips.
“Though You didn’t care for sauerkraut J.?”
The joke stunned me, I fully expected him to shoot me then and there, put me down like the abomination I must’ve looked like to him.
“Lieutenant I…”
But Marsh raised his hands to cut me off.
“Command’d probably want me to shoot’cha, hell maybe I aught’a but I don’t think it’d be right. You seem decent, little odd sure but you’ve got heart, I see it in the way you look out for the boys. Plus I always figured there was some’n off about you. The way you stay out’a the light always seem a little faster and stronger than anyone got the right to be just didn’t figure it’d be…. That.”
Marsh told me pointing to the punctures in the officers neck.
“Thank you lieutenant, Could we keep this between us though sir?”
“Drop the formalities J. Jesus! We’re all friends here.”
“I just don’t want the others to know, they may not be as understanding as you.”
“No can do, but you can tell em’ yourself. Alright men, get on down here!”
In all my years I’d never had to explain myself to anyone up until that point. I guess that day my number was up but I never knew just how understanding people, normal people could be. I’d always lived around the supernatural in Paris, didn’t interact much with the normal people I saw in the streets every day, I didn’t have to. I’d always assumed there was a reason for that but in the moment I realized there wasn’t, not really. I’d just avoided normal people because I feared what they’d think if it came out that I wasn’t like them.
Of course There were some of the men that objected to… what I was. Most of them took after Marsh though. They didn’t really care what I was, I’d proven to them I was a good person and thats all that mattered. I just wish they’d been right about me back then because the truth was I still hadn’t learned to care, not really. Even the ones who objected came around eventually and that night Marsh finally came clean to me about why exactly he was so accepting.
According to him he’d always assumed there was more out there, things beyond human that lived on the fringes of society. Even he always thought he sounded crazy. I was the proof he needed to convince himself he wasn’t. Marsh also told me what we were really doing with the scientists. Both Frank and Stein researched the supernatural, their projects were as secret as secret could be. Marsh’s interests and theories, as personal as he tried to keep them showed up in his file somewhere. The higher ups had handpicked him for this mission because of it. The official story was that Frank had been captured but in reality he defected to further his own research with a like minded individual. Our mission was really to force Frank back into the fold and take Stein along with him.
The more he talked the more I could tell his heart was fully committed to this mission and the final assault tomorrow. I’d never seen someone so… alive. In my extremely long life I don’t think Id ever felt that kind of conviction myself. So I promised him I’d have his back tomorrow no matter what.
Morning broke and with it our assault began. Intel on the German defenses was shoddy at best but we never expected what we’d actually run into. At least three times our number acted as guards so a distraction was in order to give us a window of entry. A few of the men would handle the distraction “however they saw fit” to quote Marsh. Then Marsh and I would make our way into the compound itself and the rest of the platoon would cover us.
For what its worth most of the plan went off without a hitch. A tremendous explosion signaled Marsh and I to press the advantage and rush the confused soldiers that lay in front of us. Some actually turned and ran from me, apparently word of my stunt in the trenches yesterday had spread quickly. The rest of the platoon followed behind us but then our luck ran out with the roar of an engine.
An honest to god panzer tank rolled out of a tunnel we hadn’t seen that ran under the compound and turned its barrel towards us. I almost didn’t hear the blast from how slow time seemed to move. But move it did as the explosion of the shell’s impact scattered bodies left and right. The shell impacted behind us but the sheer force of the blast threw Marsh and I to the ground, knocking us unconscious.
When I slowly came to my eyes couldn’t believe what I was seeing. A man dressed in red priestly robes with a matching red top hat was walking between the bodies. When he approached one that groaned out with agony he’d kneel down and whisper things I couldn’t hear to them, after that he’d snap his fingers. sometimes the person he was talking with would disappear other times they would fall silent and sometimes it didn’t appear that anything happened at all.
Just the sight of the man terrified me and I wasn’t sure why. It was an instinctual reaction, the second I lay eyes on him I froze up and ice cold fear crept its way up my spine. When people accuse me of being the devil this man is who I think of. Even today I’m not sure what it is he does or why. What I do know is that he never looks the same. I’ve seen him appear as male, female, even as an animal on a few occasions but I can always tell. The second I’m near him no matter what he looks like the same old feeling comes over me.
Once my vision had finally focused in on the man he seemed to notice without ever looking at me. I blinked and suddenly he was there, kneeling over me.
“Would you like to live.”
He rasped down at me with a voice that seemed to boom around me no matter how quiet it must’ve actually been. I felt like a child again, staring at Archer for the first time. I’d never really had to fear death before but here I was, sure I was about to meet my end right here. In all honestly I wasn’t injured all that bad, I probably could’ve survived with or without this man help. But something told me that if I said no he’d make sure I would die right here.
“Ye…y… yes”
I stuttered out, barley able to form the words through the pain that stabbed throughout my body.
“You will be my instrument for one night at a time of me choosing.”
The man replied. I stayed silent as I stared into his eyes, trying to determine if the sunglasses he wore were tinted or if his eyes really did burn with an infernal red light. The man cocked his head as if waiting for a response to his question. I’m not sure if question was the right word though, there wasn’t much of a choice for me.
Looking back there was always a choice, maybe I could’ve survived on my own merits, found another way. In the years to come I’d wish I just said no, even if it would’ve cost me my life. But thats not what happened. I nodded and the deal maker snapped his fingers. As soon as he had dark clouds flooded the sky and blocked out the sun, allowing my body to begin repairing itself. The man moved on to where Marsh’s body lay and probably made him the same deal as I felt my body healing. Despite that, my consciousness faded again as I strained to try and hear what the man would say to Marsh.
We never actually discussed the man at all. Not then and not in the years since. Maybe that was all an unspoken part of Marsh’s deal. Maybe both of us just wished that man was nothing more than a waking dream, a vivid hallucination. Whatever the case neither of us ever mentioned that man to each other.
The next time I woke up I was chained to a table next to Marsh. We had been captured and brought before the very scientists we were here to apprehend. There were guards around but they all seemed to be waiting for some kind of order. I was certainly surprised when that order came in perfect English, even more surprised when the order was to let us down so we could talk.
Frank and Stein ended up being quite reasonable people. The two let us stay in relative comfort in the compound as long as we agreed to stay and leave them to their work. That was all the convincing it took for me. I understand that the men I’d served with were all dead and that these two were in some way responsible. Maybe that should’ve bothered me more, today it certainly would’ve. Back then I didn’t think the same way, they accepted me for what I was but only briefly, only out of respect for Marsh. What did the lives of people I’d known for so short a time really matter? Writing this now just makes me realize how cold I was before, I didn’t care for anything beyond myself. I’d made no efforts to find Belle since we were separated and how long had I known her, 100 years, more? I may have pretended I cared but when push came to shove I simply tried to make sure I survived.
Marsh wasn’t as cold as me, in fact he almost immediately reached for where his pistol should’ve been when he was unchained. It took Frank, Stein, and myself weeks to convince him that helping would be the right decision. He didn’t like it at first but little by little I think the scientists grew on him. The guards I’d seen our first day here seemed to thin out the longer we stayed. Wether that was a gesture of trust or simply because they were needed for more important duties I don’t know but it certainly eased Marsh’s mind.
I merely observed the scientists most of the time until Stein asked me for a sample of my blood. It didn’t surprise me that he knew what I was but for obvious reasons I was hesitant to give it to him, especially considering what I’d seen so called doctors do with vampire blood. Eventually he wore me down and I gave let him take a sample just to shut him up. After that I became more involved in their research though not by choice. They had me showcasing my abilities and tested the effects of sunlight on my blood. On a few rare occasions Stein even injected it into other prisoners that were brought in, something I put a stop to very quickly. T
hat sample of blood is why Frank and Stein are still around today. Somehow they managed to isolate whatever part of my DNA allows me to age so much slower than a normal person. They took that and spliced it into their own DNA against my recommendations. The crazy thing was it actually worked. Sure they had a newfound appreciation for rare steaks but beyond that I didn’t notice any of the effects that combining vampire DNA with your own would usually have.
As Marsh and I assisted the scientist’s research however we could we both came to the realization that they needed each other to function. Stein lacked a moral compass and was prone to suggest unethical or risky procedures, sometimes going so far as to carry them out without informing Frank. Frank on the other hand preferred caution in everything he did and sometimes I noticed him personally taking and shredding requests Stein had written for test subjects, hazardous materials, or samples from supernatural entities. The two kept a very delicate dance of checks and balances. Stein ever the daring mad scientist and Frank always playing the role of overly cautious genius.
Marsh and Frank got along extremely well near the end. The two would be up at all hours of the night as Frank explained what kind of things really existed in the world. Marsh always shared these ideas of a world where the supernatural and the normal could live together and I think Frank shared that vision. It wasn’t possible, still isn’t but treating the supernatural as something other than monsters couldn’t possibly be a bad thing. I think thats where the idea of the Bureau of Supernatural Affairs really came from, those talks Marsh had with anyone who would listen.
Overtime one of our favorite conversations was what we would do when the war was over and we could leave this compound. Stein wasn’t sure he would, if his research wasn’t going to a man who’d simply use it to cause more conflict he wouldn’t mind staying. Frank wanted to return home, if that was even possible and he asked if Stein would join him. Those two had also become close friends through our months in the lab. That checks and balances relationship they had made them basically inseparable. Marsh’s answer surprised me though, he said he wanted to get out of the military and start a program, something to help the supernatural live closer to normal lives. At least keep tabs on them so that the quality of their lives might improve. I was stunned, I couldn’t believe he’d throw his career away just to chase this pipe dream of his. I didn’t even know Marsh was concerned with that kind of thing. I didn’t have an answer of my own so I said I’d join Marsh and help with this program idea of his. Actually, even Frank and Stein seemed to agree with Marsh’s way of thinking. Little did we know the war would end less than a month after our talk and we’d all get the chance to actually put Marsh’s little idea to the test.
Once the Americans had come and discovered the compound pretty much abandoned aside from us we were all taken prisoner and shipped back to America. We were all interrogated and they either heard what they wanted to hear, or decided anyone we’d talk to about our experiences would assume we were just crazy. We were released back into society under constant surveillance. They even gave us a sizable home in D.C., it was certainly bugged to its core but thats exactly what we wanted.
Through the next year we used Frank and Steins knowledge and my supernatural nature to track down entities all over the country. We made sure that everything was discussed and planned out in the house. That way however was listening knew exactly what we were doing and how successful it was. It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows though, some entities would rather we didn’t know about them. Others were naturally aggressive but some we were actually able to help.
Our escapades as a group of four didn’t last much past the first year. Mostly because our master plan of using the bugs worked perfectly. Ol’ uncle Sam had been listening in and wanted his chance at calling the shots but it meant we became a legitimate organization, the BSA. Technically the acronym was already taken but no one ever complained and Marsh never came up with anything better.
We spent 4 years doing everything we could to improve the lives of supernatural beings everywhere. Not every one of our endeavors was a success but we did some good in the world. One such project was blood banks for vampires. While the blood that gets donated is used for transfusions and the like some was put into cold storage for the BSA. That got distributed to vampires who had come to an agreement with us to stop hunting humans for blood. Some vampires were even selected for jobs at these blood banks, under the supervision of BSA agents of course.
The more human supernaturals like werewolves, vampires, and succubi even used us to find jobs in the world. We made in roads for the supernatural in daily life because of it. Werewolves would use their strength for government construction. Vampire’s long lives made them excellent archivists or history teachers because they actually been there for those events. A succubus’s ability to understand and control someones emotions and reactions made them excellent therapists and conflict deescalation specialists. Those are just some of the fields we managed to get the supernatural involved in. While they usually had to hide their natural they were wildly successful.
Everything went well until that fourth year when I first met Baelen. He was headstrong from the beginning, the powers that be were grooming him for leadership. He was everything they wanted, he followed orders and didn’t question things to much. In short, he was the perfect solution to the inconvenience the four of us caused running the organization as we saw fit. But baleen had a mean streak, he didn’t want to protect the supernatural so much as he wanted to put them in their place. Unfortunately a lot of the research we provided had scared pretty much everyone above us who had never even entertained the idea of the supernatural until now. That meant Baelen’s ideas of monitoring and segregating the supernatural population were popular. So popular that suggesting culling their numbers to keep them in check and under the thumb of the BSA was an idea they actually entertained. That sentiment caught on and our orders became more and more militant.
Every time we disregarded them to do things the way we had envisioned the consequence grew steeper. Eventually Frank, Stein, Marsh, and I just couldn’t stand to see what our BSA had become so we left. We couldn’t do anything else to stop what was coming from the inside, no point in going down with the ship.
After that Baelen quickly ended up heading the whole operation. He still took orders directly from government officials and when the BSA became part of homeland security it became Chimera division. Why they chose such a stupid name I’ll never know but the organization was a shadow of its former self. Before we looked out for the supernatural, tried to help. Under Baelen Chimera just exists to monitor the supernatural and “correct” any issues uncle Sam decides to have with them. They’re glorified enforcers that don’t give a damn how the supernatural actually have it. That’s not to say some good people don’t work for them, people like Belle and even Marsh’s own daughter as far as I’m aware.
It sickens me to think I was a part of it though, for all the good we did maybe it would’ve been better if Johnson Marsh’s pipe dream would’ve stayed just that. I can do a lot but I can’t change the past so I guess we’ll never know. A while ago I heard that something had happened in a little nowhere town out in New Mexico. Pretty much dropped off the face of the Earth. The only reason I even heard about it was through Belle’s letters. Apparently Chimera had to do some huge cover up job and decided it was better if the town just never existed. Maybe I should go myself and see if I can’t piece what happened together. Could be that someone else out there has it in for Chimera and is a whole lot more direct about it than me. I’m just imaging it was some runaway experiment Frank and Stein got up to. I wonder where those two ended up, I’ll have to check up on them sometime. This journal writing is digging up a lot of memories for me but thats probably a good thing. Write them down before I forget again. I think that’ll be all for today then, why do I keep addressing these like someone’s reading them? Not much point to that is there?
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Writing these things has made me realize how different I sound these days. Back when all this started I’m not sure I even spoke English and I certainly didn’t speak like I do now but to be honest, I don’t remember. Trying to recall things to write has made me realize exactly how many little things I’ve forgotten over the years. The sights, the sounds, all those fade into the background of most events.
Even something as visceral as Archer’s basement still takes me a while to recall clearly. I wonder if it’s more than just my long life, we do age after all. I mentioned before that sunlight is not deadly to vampires like myself but very unpleasant, that and it makes us more normal. In the sun I won’t be as strong as I would be in the dark and by my assessment I age in the sun as well. Not any faster than a normal person but I do age, its why I don’t still look like that little boy stuck in Paris anymore.
I did spend quite some time in Paris before I left or rather, escaped. I’m not sure I ever would have left if not for the war. I didn’t have many friends there save for other… I’m not sure what to call them… entities? Whatever you want to cal it I had some friends in the more supernatural parts of the city. A vampire named Belle had become a sort of mother figure to me over the years spent there.
I met her by chance one night as I sated myself in an alley. I was ready to fight but she just laughed and flashed her own fangs at me, ridiculing me for being so careless. It was under her wing where I learned everything I know now about vampires. It’s where I realized not all vampires endure sunlight as well as I do, if anything that one trait is what’s most unique about me according to her. But thats not the story I want to tell on these pages tonight. I want to tell the story of lieutenant Marsh and the real beginnings of the organization that would become Chimera.
When war came to Paris that summer I was unprepared. I never expected the war to spiral out of hand so quickly or for it to force me out of my home. I was with Belle and a few more of her friends whose names escape me waiting out the worst of it and hoping things would blow over in the city soon. Obviously we were completely misguided, it was that sense of invulnerability again just the same as when I was a boy. The world was our playground and nothing could hurt us. It didn’t help that in some ways I really was invulnerable and it went straight to my head.
Only flashes of my memory from that day remain. I remember the nazi soldier kicking in the door and firing at Belle’s friends. I remember the screaming that abruptly ended in a single gunshot. I remember the trail of blood leading to her friends body where it lay staked to the ground in the sun. We heal fast, not instantly but much faster than a human. Put us in sunlight though, and we’re just as fragile as a normal person. It was the first time I’d seen someone with abilities like ours die and it made me feel mortal again for the first time in decades.
The rest of the day is a disjointed blur. Belle and I fled the city, I blank out on the specifics of it but we made it out with some difficulty. After that we hunkered down for the night in a rickety old shack. I remember wanting to push on through the day but Belle protested, she didn’t deal with the sun as well as I did. When night finally fell we fled to the coast and managed to catch a ship heading towards the United States.
The trip was unpleasant to say the least, neither of us made good stowaways. We weren’t living life in the lap of luxury before by any means but we lived comfortably. This was a far cry from what we were used to in Paris and the welcome we received was even worse. Apparently fleeing for your own survival is a crime, both of us were separated and sent to prison on our arrival to the states for stowing away on the ship.
That was the last time I ever saw Belle, I get letters from her every now and then but I haven’t seen her in person since. She does well for herself, works in D.C. as a sort of handler for the supernatural. Regrettably she does work with Chimera, says they have the best interests at heart for the supernatural but she doesn’t see what I see out here. She doesn’t know the part I played in its creation, what it really stood for in the beginning. Chimera tends to kill first these days rather than actually try to help or give the supernatural some kind of place in the world. I think thats why I haven’t been to visit her, I just don’t want to argue with a friend as old as her. Funnily enough I don’t think anyone knows she’s a vampire. I doubt they’d take that very well, she’d probably lose her position. They must have suspicions though because theres no way she’d be able to get letters to me without Baelen knowing about it. Every few months they keep showing up though and I always make sure to write her back.
Anyways I’m getting off topic, back to my story. I was in prison for months until an offer came my way, serve the rest of my sentence or enlist in the army and be a free man when I came back, if I came back. Of course I took the offer, I didn’t realize how suspicious that deal sounded at the time but it actually played out exactly as they said. I also didn’t have much of a choice in the matter either. It was hard to get my hands on any blood when I was almost constantly under watch and I could feel the effects it was having on me. I figured it would be best to get a change of scenery.
The next week I was off to training then not long after, we shipped out to the trenches and met the commander of the platoon I’d been assigned to. That’s the first time I met Lieutenant Johnson Marsh and what a man he was. That first day I was convinced I’d never see a smile ever again, the trenches were a horrible depressing place. But there Marsh was, laughing and smiling and just generally enjoying life with the rest of the platoon. He was either crazy or stupid, thats what my first thoughts about him were. I remember those clearly even today but I couldn’t have been more wrong. If anything he may have turned out to be one of the smartest men I ever knew.
The first few weeks were spent holding our position from the germans. It was brutal but I found I was a decent shot with the rifle I was given. Marsh on the other hand spent those weeks barking orders at us and keeping us in line. He never used a rifle like most of the soldiers used. Instead he kept a Beretta m9 with him at all times. That weapon was the only one I ever saw him use. I remember the name only because he was so found of explaining everything there was to know about the gun to me whenever I questioned him about it. You could immediately recognize the pistol as his by its strange grip. One side of it had a picture of an idyllic scene of a manor house in the middle of a sprawling field. The other had a painting of a woman, his wife I’d guess but he never actually told me if that was there case. He seemed to spend the nights staring with longing at each side of the artistic grip.
I’d never really had a family, even with Belle I’d always felt like I was a bit of an outsider. There was so much I didn’t know about how normal people lived. Even though I’d had friends in Paris we were always kind of hidden away in our own personal corner. There was this separation between us and normal life, even between the other supernaturals in the area.
Here I felt like I was part of something though. Sure I was still lost but so was everyone else, we could be lost together and Marsh would always set us straight in the end. There was something about the man, some piece of him that just understood what we were all going through. He expected a lot from us but he was never unreasonable and several times even argued with command on our behalf when ridiculous orders came our way. I actually wanted to serve with him. The rest of the platoon wasn’t bad but they’d all been given the same deal as me. They were all just there to get out of prison. I’m still not sure what Marsh’s story was, he always kept that to himself but any of us would’ve taken a bullet for that man.
Our first real assignment came maybe three months into my period of indentured service. Our platoon was tasked with rescuing a captured American scientist and capturing a German scientist. The scientists in question were Frank Smith and Stein Hoffman and no, the irony of those names is not lost on me, fits the two of them though. I’m sure doctor Frankenstein wishes he was successful as those two. But before those orders could be acted on we had to overtake a German trench surrounding the compound they were staying in.
That fight was bloody and we lost several good men in the chaos. At one point a trench gun was shoved into my arms and I launched myself into the German trench. I wouldn’t be surprised if ghost stories are still passed around of what I did that day. After I made my way over and into the German trench I lashed out with all I had. Moving with superhuman speed and lashing out with both the bayonet affixed to my gun and my fangs, I fell upon the Germans. They stood little chance as I tore into them and all by my lonesome I ensured we’d face no more resistance.
Marsh was the first over into the now silent trench, I’m glad it was him because I’m not sure anyone else would’ve understood like him. I was holding the German officer to the trench wall, fangs buried in his neck as I fed when I heard footsteps behind me. I dropped him and turned to see Marsh staring questioningly at me. I must’ve been a sight to see, blood dripping from my mouth and covering my bullet torn uniform. Marsh steadied himself for a moment and shouted back to the rest of the platoon,
“Boys hold up a second! Just get down and stay up there a minute won’tcha!”
All of a sudden he took a step forward and a well mannered grin took its usual place on his lips.
“Though You didn’t care for sauerkraut J.?”
The joke stunned me, I fully expected him to shoot me then and there, put me down like the abomination I must’ve looked like to him.
“Lieutenant I…”
But Marsh raised his hands to cut me off.
“Command’d probably want me to shoot’cha, hell maybe I aught’a but I don’t think it’d be right. You seem decent, little odd sure but you’ve got heart, I see it in the way you look out for the boys. Plus I always figured there was some’n off about you. The way you stay out’a the light always seem a little faster and stronger than anyone got the right to be just didn’t figure it’d be…. That.”
Marsh told me pointing to the punctures in the officers neck.
“Thank you lieutenant, Could we keep this between us though sir?”
“Drop the formalities J. Jesus! We’re all friends here.”
“I just don’t want the others to know, they may not be as understanding as you.”
“No can do, but you can tell em’ yourself. Alright men, get on down here!”
In all my years I’d never had to explain myself to anyone up until that point. I guess that day my number was up but I never knew just how understanding people, normal people could be. I’d always lived around the supernatural in Paris, didn’t interact much with the normal people I saw in the streets every day, I didn’t have to. I’d always assumed there was a reason for that but in the moment I realized there wasn’t, not really. I’d just avoided normal people because I feared what they’d think if it came out that I wasn’t like them.
Of course There were some of the men that objected to… what I was. Most of them took after Marsh though. They didn’t really care what I was, I’d proven to them I was a good person and thats all that mattered. I just wish they’d been right about me back then because the truth was I still hadn’t learned to care, not really. Even the ones who objected came around eventually and that night Marsh finally came clean to me about why exactly he was so accepting.
According to him he’d always assumed there was more out there, things beyond human that lived on the fringes of society. Even he always thought he sounded crazy. I was the proof he needed to convince himself he wasn’t. Marsh also told me what we were really doing with the scientists. Both Frank and Stein researched the supernatural, their projects were as secret as secret could be. Marsh’s interests and theories, as personal as he tried to keep them showed up in his file somewhere. The higher ups had handpicked him for this mission because of it. The official story was that Frank had been captured but in reality he defected to further his own research with a like minded individual. Our mission was really to force Frank back into the fold and take Stein along with him.
The more he talked the more I could tell his heart was fully committed to this mission and the final assault tomorrow. I’d never seen someone so… alive. In my extremely long life I don’t think Id ever felt that kind of conviction myself. So I promised him I’d have his back tomorrow no matter what.
Morning broke and with it our assault began. Intel on the German defenses was shoddy at best but we never expected what we’d actually run into. At least three times our number acted as guards so a distraction was in order to give us a window of entry. A few of the men would handle the distraction “however they saw fit” to quote Marsh. Then Marsh and I would make our way into the compound itself and the rest of the platoon would cover us.
For what its worth most of the plan went off without a hitch. A tremendous explosion signaled Marsh and I to press the advantage and rush the confused soldiers that lay in front of us. Some actually turned and ran from me, apparently word of my stunt in the trenches yesterday had spread quickly. The rest of the platoon followed behind us but then our luck ran out with the roar of an engine.
An honest to god panzer tank rolled out of a tunnel we hadn’t seen that ran under the compound and turned its barrel towards us. I almost didn’t hear the blast from how slow time seemed to move. But move it did as the explosion of the shell’s impact scattered bodies left and right. The shell impacted behind us but the sheer force of the blast threw Marsh and I to the ground, knocking us unconscious.
When I slowly came to my eyes couldn’t believe what I was seeing. A man dressed in red priestly robes with a matching red top hat was walking between the bodies. When he approached one that groaned out with agony he’d kneel down and whisper things I couldn’t hear to them, after that he’d snap his fingers. sometimes the person he was talking with would disappear other times they would fall silent and sometimes it didn’t appear that anything happened at all.
Just the sight of the man terrified me and I wasn’t sure why. It was an instinctual reaction, the second I lay eyes on him I froze up and ice cold fear crept its way up my spine. When people accuse me of being the devil this man is who I think of. Even today I’m not sure what it is he does or why. What I do know is that he never looks the same. I’ve seen him appear as male, female, even as an animal on a few occasions but I can always tell. The second I’m near him no matter what he looks like the same old feeling comes over me.
Once my vision had finally focused in on the man he seemed to notice without ever looking at me. I blinked and suddenly he was there, kneeling over me.
“Would you like to live.”
He rasped down at me with a voice that seemed to boom around me no matter how quiet it must’ve actually been. I felt like a child again, staring at Archer for the first time. I’d never really had to fear death before but here I was, sure I was about to meet my end right here. In all honestly I wasn’t injured all that bad, I probably could’ve survived with or without this man help. But something told me that if I said no he’d make sure I would die right here.
“Ye…y… yes”
I stuttered out, barley able to form the words through the pain that stabbed throughout my body.
“You will be my instrument for one night at a time of me choosing.”
The man replied. I stayed silent as I stared into his eyes, trying to determine if the sunglasses he wore were tinted or if his eyes really did burn with an infernal red light. The man cocked his head as if waiting for a response to his question. I’m not sure if question was the right word though, there wasn’t much of a choice for me.
Looking back there was always a choice, maybe I could’ve survived on my own merits, found another way. In the years to come I’d wish I just said no, even if it would’ve cost me my life. But thats not what happened. I nodded and the deal maker snapped his fingers. As soon as he had dark clouds flooded the sky and blocked out the sun, allowing my body to begin repairing itself. The man moved on to where Marsh’s body lay and probably made him the same deal as I felt my body healing. Despite that, my consciousness faded again as I strained to try and hear what the man would say to Marsh.
We never actually discussed the man at all. Not then and not in the years since. Maybe that was all an unspoken part of Marsh’s deal. Maybe both of us just wished that man was nothing more than a waking dream, a vivid hallucination. Whatever the case neither of us ever mentioned that man to each other.
The next time I woke up I was chained to a table next to Marsh. We had been captured and brought before the very scientists we were here to apprehend. There were guards around but they all seemed to be waiting for some kind of order. I was certainly surprised when that order came in perfect English, even more surprised when the order was to let us down so we could talk.
Frank and Stein ended up being quite reasonable people. The two let us stay in relative comfort in the compound as long as we agreed to stay and leave them to their work. That was all the convincing it took for me. I understand that the men I’d served with were all dead and that these two were in some way responsible. Maybe that should’ve bothered me more, today it certainly would’ve. Back then I didn’t think the same way, they accepted me for what I was but only briefly, only out of respect for Marsh. What did the lives of people I’d known for so short a time really matter? Writing this now just makes me realize how cold I was before, I didn’t care for anything beyond myself. I’d made no efforts to find Belle since we were separated and how long had I known her, 100 years, more? I may have pretended I cared but when push came to shove I simply tried to make sure I survived.
Marsh wasn’t as cold as me, in fact he almost immediately reached for where his pistol should’ve been when he was unchained. It took Frank, Stein, and myself weeks to convince him that helping would be the right decision. He didn’t like it at first but little by little I think the scientists grew on him. The guards I’d seen our first day here seemed to thin out the longer we stayed. Wether that was a gesture of trust or simply because they were needed for more important duties I don’t know but it certainly eased Marsh’s mind.
I merely observed the scientists most of the time until Stein asked me for a sample of my blood. It didn’t surprise me that he knew what I was but for obvious reasons I was hesitant to give it to him, especially considering what I’d seen so called doctors do with vampire blood. Eventually he wore me down and I gave let him take a sample just to shut him up. After that I became more involved in their research though not by choice. They had me showcasing my abilities and tested the effects of sunlight on my blood. On a few rare occasions Stein even injected it into other prisoners that were brought in, something I put a stop to very quickly. T
hat sample of blood is why Frank and Stein are still around today. Somehow they managed to isolate whatever part of my DNA allows me to age so much slower than a normal person. They took that and spliced it into their own DNA against my recommendations. The crazy thing was it actually worked. Sure they had a newfound appreciation for rare steaks but beyond that I didn’t notice any of the effects that combining vampire DNA with your own would usually have.
As Marsh and I assisted the scientist’s research however we could we both came to the realization that they needed each other to function. Stein lacked a moral compass and was prone to suggest unethical or risky procedures, sometimes going so far as to carry them out without informing Frank. Frank on the other hand preferred caution in everything he did and sometimes I noticed him personally taking and shredding requests Stein had written for test subjects, hazardous materials, or samples from supernatural entities. The two kept a very delicate dance of checks and balances. Stein ever the daring mad scientist and Frank always playing the role of overly cautious genius.
Marsh and Frank got along extremely well near the end. The two would be up at all hours of the night as Frank explained what kind of things really existed in the world. Marsh always shared these ideas of a world where the supernatural and the normal could live together and I think Frank shared that vision. It wasn’t possible, still isn’t but treating the supernatural as something other than monsters couldn’t possibly be a bad thing. I think thats where the idea of the Bureau of Supernatural Affairs really came from, those talks Marsh had with anyone who would listen.
Overtime one of our favorite conversations was what we would do when the war was over and we could leave this compound. Stein wasn’t sure he would, if his research wasn’t going to a man who’d simply use it to cause more conflict he wouldn’t mind staying. Frank wanted to return home, if that was even possible and he asked if Stein would join him. Those two had also become close friends through our months in the lab. That checks and balances relationship they had made them basically inseparable. Marsh’s answer surprised me though, he said he wanted to get out of the military and start a program, something to help the supernatural live closer to normal lives. At least keep tabs on them so that the quality of their lives might improve. I was stunned, I couldn’t believe he’d throw his career away just to chase this pipe dream of his. I didn’t even know Marsh was concerned with that kind of thing. I didn’t have an answer of my own so I said I’d join Marsh and help with this program idea of his. Actually, even Frank and Stein seemed to agree with Marsh’s way of thinking. Little did we know the war would end less than a month after our talk and we’d all get the chance to actually put Marsh’s little idea to the test.
Once the Americans had come and discovered the compound pretty much abandoned aside from us we were all taken prisoner and shipped back to America. We were all interrogated and they either heard what they wanted to hear, or decided anyone we’d talk to about our experiences would assume we were just crazy. We were released back into society under constant surveillance. They even gave us a sizable home in D.C., it was certainly bugged to its core but thats exactly what we wanted.
Through the next year we used Frank and Steins knowledge and my supernatural nature to track down entities all over the country. We made sure that everything was discussed and planned out in the house. That way however was listening knew exactly what we were doing and how successful it was. It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows though, some entities would rather we didn’t know about them. Others were naturally aggressive but some we were actually able to help.
Our escapades as a group of four didn’t last much past the first year. Mostly because our master plan of using the bugs worked perfectly. Ol’ uncle Sam had been listening in and wanted his chance at calling the shots but it meant we became a legitimate organization, the BSA. Technically the acronym was already taken but no one ever complained and Marsh never came up with anything better.
We spent 4 years doing everything we could to improve the lives of supernatural beings everywhere. Not every one of our endeavors was a success but we did some good in the world. One such project was blood banks for vampires. While the blood that gets donated is used for transfusions and the like some was put into cold storage for the BSA. That got distributed to vampires who had come to an agreement with us to stop hunting humans for blood. Some vampires were even selected for jobs at these blood banks, under the supervision of BSA agents of course.
The more human supernaturals like werewolves, vampires, and succubi even used us to find jobs in the world. We made in roads for the supernatural in daily life because of it. Werewolves would use their strength for government construction. Vampire’s long lives made them excellent archivists or history teachers because they actually been there for those events. A succubus’s ability to understand and control someones emotions and reactions made them excellent therapists and conflict deescalation specialists. Those are just some of the fields we managed to get the supernatural involved in. While they usually had to hide their natural they were wildly successful.
Everything went well until that fourth year when I first met Baelen. He was headstrong from the beginning, the powers that be were grooming him for leadership. He was everything they wanted, he followed orders and didn’t question things to much. In short, he was the perfect solution to the inconvenience the four of us caused running the organization as we saw fit. But baleen had a mean streak, he didn’t want to protect the supernatural so much as he wanted to put them in their place. Unfortunately a lot of the research we provided had scared pretty much everyone above us who had never even entertained the idea of the supernatural until now. That meant Baelen’s ideas of monitoring and segregating the supernatural population were popular. So popular that suggesting culling their numbers to keep them in check and under the thumb of the BSA was an idea they actually entertained. That sentiment caught on and our orders became more and more militant.
Every time we disregarded them to do things the way we had envisioned the consequence grew steeper. Eventually Frank, Stein, Marsh, and I just couldn’t stand to see what our BSA had become so we left. We couldn’t do anything else to stop what was coming from the inside, no point in going down with the ship.
After that Baelen quickly ended up heading the whole operation. He still took orders directly from government officials and when the BSA became part of homeland security it became Chimera division. Why they chose such a stupid name I’ll never know but the organization was a shadow of its former self. Before we looked out for the supernatural, tried to help. Under Baelen Chimera just exists to monitor the supernatural and “correct” any issues uncle Sam decides to have with them. They’re glorified enforcers that don’t give a damn how the supernatural actually have it. That’s not to say some good people don’t work for them, people like Belle and even Marsh’s own daughter as far as I’m aware.
It sickens me to think I was a part of it though, for all the good we did maybe it would’ve been better if Johnson Marsh’s pipe dream would’ve stayed just that. I can do a lot but I can’t change the past so I guess we’ll never know. A while ago I heard that something had happened in a little nowhere town out in New Mexico. Pretty much dropped off the face of the Earth. The only reason I even heard about it was through Belle’s letters. Apparently Chimera had to do some huge cover up job and decided it was better if the town just never existed. Maybe I should go myself and see if I can’t piece what happened together. Could be that someone else out there has it in for Chimera and is a whole lot more direct about it than me. I’m just imaging it was some runaway experiment Frank and Stein got up to. I wonder where those two ended up, I’ll have to check up on them sometime. This journal writing is digging up a lot of memories for me but thats probably a good thing. Write them down before I forget again. I think that’ll be all for today then, why do I keep addressing these like someone’s reading them? Not much point to that is there?
2024.05.21 20:43 Kryptic4l Adding couple pictures to Facebook
Ok how long are most people waiting after first meeting : dating before updating your profile picture to include someone else. .
Is it normal for after 1-2 months of knowing someone for them to plaster their Facebook with couple pictures . I move slow so to me it just seems really off . But I have been wrong before.
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Is it normal for after 1-2 months of knowing someone for them to plaster their Facebook with couple pictures . I move slow so to me it just seems really off . But I have been wrong before.
2024.05.21 20:43 Yuqi_Tenshi Was it wrong for me to end things with my close friend just because she started talking to a guy I had history with?
I (19F) and my close friend (18F) been friends since high school. Our friendship might not be as long as my others but I love her so much and she was always that one friend that showed me kindness and love, overall she was just a very kind person and friend.
Not too long ago I started talking to this guy that was introduced by my guy friend. My friend was holding a birthday party and he invited all his close friends that’s when I met him since they’re best friends. We found out that we liked each other and started talking. He took me out on dates and we started getting physical towards each other but not sex. It was my first time ever doing anything with someone and he was also my first kiss. But there were so many red flags. After we hung out he would never text me or any of the sort saying “I had fun with you” or all that. We would just vc with everyone else in the friend group in discord. He was a really nice guy but thinking back now I could tell he was definitely not ready to be in a committed relationship. Even before talking to him he mentioned that he just got out of a really bad relationship where his ex cheated on him. I know I should’ve known better than not to talk to a guy who wasn’t fully healed yet because even when we were talking he would bring his ex up often. But his best friend keep telling me that he’s not using me as a rebound and he genuinely liked me and I believed him. I gave them both the benefit of the doubt but turned out that I was wrong. He was wrong. Whenever I was tripping over something they would make me feel like I was the crazy one when all I wanted was the bare minimum. In the end he ended things because he “wasn’t ready” to be in a relationship and he was sorry that if he gave me the impression of leading me on. He DID led me on, but the thing is that all before this I asked him if he still wanted to work on us or not he told me yes he still want to work on us even if he have issues. He gave me a clear answer that from now on he’ll do better but the very next day he ghosted me. I thought I was overthinking but I knew I wasn’t because if a guy really wanted you they would have the decency to simply text you but he didn’t. I was already committed to this guy. We talked for 2 whole months already, went on dates, had sleepovers, slept on the same bed and I let him touched me, and I don’t let just anyone do that because I cherish my body.
I then texted his best friend to tell him to text me and tell me what’s going on because it isn’t fair for me. I even texted him myself before that but he just left me on delivered. After awhile and texting his best friend he finally texted me back saying he’s sorry for ghosting me and that he needs time to think. I understood and patiently waited. Whole week went by and I heard nothing from him. This is when my close friend of mine, let’s call her kam.
Kam was the one I vented to the most whenever I was sad because of him, when I started overthinking, when I cried, she been there for me and saw how shitty he treated me. Kam told me that he plan to write a paragraph to me ending things, she knew she wasn’t supposed to tell me but she wanted me to move on from him quick cause she knew what he did to me wasn’t fair. I thanked her so much for it because it gave me time to prepare and it made me not feel like I was being left in the dark not knowing what was going on. I loved her so much. So then after a whole two weeks he finally sent the paragraph coming up with all these excuses why things won’t work out between us. I was understanding, more than I should’ve been. We ended on a decent note. But something happened with him and that was when I started to despise him and left the friend group and mind u this right after all of this I also ended things with my very best friend of 11 years, that is a whole another story but I had very good reasons to. And when I was dealing with all of that Kam was the one that was there for me, she was the only one in the friend group that understood why I ended my friendship with my bsf and why I despised the guy I use to talk to. She’s aware of everything I went through because of him. But recently she came out to tell me that she’s talking to him.
I never felt like that in my life. I loved her so much I thought to myself how could she do this to me? She said she wanted to tell me because she didnt wanna do it behind my back. But does it really make it any better? She knew what kind of person he is and how he hurt me but how could she just go to talking with him. When I brought up girl code her excuses were that we weren’t even dating and that she’s not serious about him, but that doesn’t matter. It doesn’t changed the fact that he was the person who’s hurt me and she been there for me through all that. It’s the principle of things. And how is he suddenly crushing on her, one of my CLOSEST friend right after telling me he’s not ready for a relationship and that he needs to focus on himself. She then blamed me for getting hurt. I never would’ve done this to her. I knew that she were still healing from her ex too and I would’ve never blame her for getting hurt no matter what, alone TALKING to her ex. She told me that if I started talking to her ex she wouldn’t mind as long as I give her a heads up. Like what??…do you have no self respect? No matter how much I love her I have my morals and principles and she crossed the line for me.
She asked me if I’m really gonna end our friendship just because of this one thing after all we been through. I kept trying to tell her it’s more than that. It’s deeper than how simply she made it sound. I asked her if she’s gonna keep talking to him even if it means risking our friendship, she said yes. Because she likes him and “it’s not that serious” that answer alone tells me she values talking to him more than our friendship. I don’t need a friend like that.
So tell me, was I wrong for ending our friendship because of this?
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Not too long ago I started talking to this guy that was introduced by my guy friend. My friend was holding a birthday party and he invited all his close friends that’s when I met him since they’re best friends. We found out that we liked each other and started talking. He took me out on dates and we started getting physical towards each other but not sex. It was my first time ever doing anything with someone and he was also my first kiss. But there were so many red flags. After we hung out he would never text me or any of the sort saying “I had fun with you” or all that. We would just vc with everyone else in the friend group in discord. He was a really nice guy but thinking back now I could tell he was definitely not ready to be in a committed relationship. Even before talking to him he mentioned that he just got out of a really bad relationship where his ex cheated on him. I know I should’ve known better than not to talk to a guy who wasn’t fully healed yet because even when we were talking he would bring his ex up often. But his best friend keep telling me that he’s not using me as a rebound and he genuinely liked me and I believed him. I gave them both the benefit of the doubt but turned out that I was wrong. He was wrong. Whenever I was tripping over something they would make me feel like I was the crazy one when all I wanted was the bare minimum. In the end he ended things because he “wasn’t ready” to be in a relationship and he was sorry that if he gave me the impression of leading me on. He DID led me on, but the thing is that all before this I asked him if he still wanted to work on us or not he told me yes he still want to work on us even if he have issues. He gave me a clear answer that from now on he’ll do better but the very next day he ghosted me. I thought I was overthinking but I knew I wasn’t because if a guy really wanted you they would have the decency to simply text you but he didn’t. I was already committed to this guy. We talked for 2 whole months already, went on dates, had sleepovers, slept on the same bed and I let him touched me, and I don’t let just anyone do that because I cherish my body.
I then texted his best friend to tell him to text me and tell me what’s going on because it isn’t fair for me. I even texted him myself before that but he just left me on delivered. After awhile and texting his best friend he finally texted me back saying he’s sorry for ghosting me and that he needs time to think. I understood and patiently waited. Whole week went by and I heard nothing from him. This is when my close friend of mine, let’s call her kam.
Kam was the one I vented to the most whenever I was sad because of him, when I started overthinking, when I cried, she been there for me and saw how shitty he treated me. Kam told me that he plan to write a paragraph to me ending things, she knew she wasn’t supposed to tell me but she wanted me to move on from him quick cause she knew what he did to me wasn’t fair. I thanked her so much for it because it gave me time to prepare and it made me not feel like I was being left in the dark not knowing what was going on. I loved her so much. So then after a whole two weeks he finally sent the paragraph coming up with all these excuses why things won’t work out between us. I was understanding, more than I should’ve been. We ended on a decent note. But something happened with him and that was when I started to despise him and left the friend group and mind u this right after all of this I also ended things with my very best friend of 11 years, that is a whole another story but I had very good reasons to. And when I was dealing with all of that Kam was the one that was there for me, she was the only one in the friend group that understood why I ended my friendship with my bsf and why I despised the guy I use to talk to. She’s aware of everything I went through because of him. But recently she came out to tell me that she’s talking to him.
I never felt like that in my life. I loved her so much I thought to myself how could she do this to me? She said she wanted to tell me because she didnt wanna do it behind my back. But does it really make it any better? She knew what kind of person he is and how he hurt me but how could she just go to talking with him. When I brought up girl code her excuses were that we weren’t even dating and that she’s not serious about him, but that doesn’t matter. It doesn’t changed the fact that he was the person who’s hurt me and she been there for me through all that. It’s the principle of things. And how is he suddenly crushing on her, one of my CLOSEST friend right after telling me he’s not ready for a relationship and that he needs to focus on himself. She then blamed me for getting hurt. I never would’ve done this to her. I knew that she were still healing from her ex too and I would’ve never blame her for getting hurt no matter what, alone TALKING to her ex. She told me that if I started talking to her ex she wouldn’t mind as long as I give her a heads up. Like what??…do you have no self respect? No matter how much I love her I have my morals and principles and she crossed the line for me.
She asked me if I’m really gonna end our friendship just because of this one thing after all we been through. I kept trying to tell her it’s more than that. It’s deeper than how simply she made it sound. I asked her if she’s gonna keep talking to him even if it means risking our friendship, she said yes. Because she likes him and “it’s not that serious” that answer alone tells me she values talking to him more than our friendship. I don’t need a friend like that.
So tell me, was I wrong for ending our friendship because of this?
2024.05.21 20:42 lol_fennec I need advice or something
Hi I have kinda had a really bizarre dating experience that’s left me kinda mentally all over the place I’ll explain.
So I met this girl online (judge me if you want) She’s from American I’m from the uk we started of as friends talking for a while until I began to like her and I got really drunk on Christmas last year and asked her out she said yes yada yada.
After that we then dated for around a 2 months we were going perfectly fine no arguments nothing we told each other personal stuff our traumas and other personal shit.
Then all of a sudden she blocks me on everything even stuff I couldn’t text her on I had a few breakdowns got back into some self harm wasn’t very fun but after like 3 weeks she messages explaining that she tried to end her own life and went to a mental hospital and she blocked me because it would be embarrassing if I knew and she’d rather I think she hates me then I knew she tried that.
After that we continued to talk as friends she told me she doesn’t think she is stable enough for a relationship which I thought was a good thing to say and mature I told her I would wait because I genuinely care for her but everytime we talk I feel drained and get sad feel like I’m about to cry after it I don’t know why.
I know it may be idiotic to wait but I feel different with her that sounds stupid I know. I also know that just because I’m waiting for her to get batter doesn’t mean she will take me back I tend to overthink a lot so that doesn’t help. I genuinely care about her and love her maybe she told me to much personal stuff to soon idk.
Sorry if this is long I just want some advice about all of it also sorry if this ain’t the right Reddit for this I barely use Reddit and this seems right.
submitted by lol_fennec to BreakUps [link] [comments]
So I met this girl online (judge me if you want) She’s from American I’m from the uk we started of as friends talking for a while until I began to like her and I got really drunk on Christmas last year and asked her out she said yes yada yada.
After that we then dated for around a 2 months we were going perfectly fine no arguments nothing we told each other personal stuff our traumas and other personal shit.
Then all of a sudden she blocks me on everything even stuff I couldn’t text her on I had a few breakdowns got back into some self harm wasn’t very fun but after like 3 weeks she messages explaining that she tried to end her own life and went to a mental hospital and she blocked me because it would be embarrassing if I knew and she’d rather I think she hates me then I knew she tried that.
After that we continued to talk as friends she told me she doesn’t think she is stable enough for a relationship which I thought was a good thing to say and mature I told her I would wait because I genuinely care for her but everytime we talk I feel drained and get sad feel like I’m about to cry after it I don’t know why.
I know it may be idiotic to wait but I feel different with her that sounds stupid I know. I also know that just because I’m waiting for her to get batter doesn’t mean she will take me back I tend to overthink a lot so that doesn’t help. I genuinely care about her and love her maybe she told me to much personal stuff to soon idk.
Sorry if this is long I just want some advice about all of it also sorry if this ain’t the right Reddit for this I barely use Reddit and this seems right.
2024.05.21 20:42 Aware-Tune2117 VITRUVIA magazines
 | I am trying to find my permanent art style. Please give me your feedback. submitted by Aware-Tune2117 to FearAndHunger [link] [comments] |
2024.05.21 20:42 CDown01 J.'s Journals: The Lieutenant
Previous Entry
Writing these things has made me realize how different I sound these days. Back when all this started I’m not sure I even spoke English and I certainly didn’t speak like I do now but to be honest, I don’t remember. Trying to recall things to write has made me realize exactly how many little things I’ve forgotten over the years. The sights, the sounds, all those fade into the background of most events.
Even something as visceral as Archer’s basement still takes me a while to recall clearly. I wonder if it’s more than just my long life, we do age after all. I mentioned before that sunlight is not deadly to vampires like myself but very unpleasant, that and it makes us more normal. In the sun I won’t be as strong as I would be in the dark and by my assessment I age in the sun as well. Not any faster than a normal person but I do age, its why I don’t still look like that little boy stuck in Paris anymore.
I did spend quite some time in Paris before I left or rather, escaped. I’m not sure I ever would have left if not for the war. I didn’t have many friends there save for other… I’m not sure what to call them… entities? Whatever you want to cal it I had some friends in the more supernatural parts of the city. A vampire named Belle had become a sort of mother figure to me over the years spent there.
I met her by chance one night as I sated myself in an alley. I was ready to fight but she just laughed and flashed her own fangs at me, ridiculing me for being so careless. It was under her wing where I learned everything I know now about vampires. It’s where I realized not all vampires endure sunlight as well as I do, if anything that one trait is what’s most unique about me according to her. But thats not the story I want to tell on these pages tonight. I want to tell the story of lieutenant Marsh and the real beginnings of the organization that would become Chimera.
When war came to Paris that summer I was unprepared. I never expected the war to spiral out of hand so quickly or for it to force me out of my home. I was with Belle and a few more of her friends whose names escape me waiting out the worst of it and hoping things would blow over in the city soon. Obviously we were completely misguided, it was that sense of invulnerability again just the same as when I was a boy. The world was our playground and nothing could hurt us. It didn’t help that in some ways I really was invulnerable and it went straight to my head.
Only flashes of my memory from that day remain. I remember the nazi soldier kicking in the door and firing at Belle’s friends. I remember the screaming that abruptly ended in a single gunshot. I remember the trail of blood leading to her friends body where it lay staked to the ground in the sun. We heal fast, not instantly but much faster than a human. Put us in sunlight though, and we’re just as fragile as a normal person. It was the first time I’d seen someone with abilities like ours die and it made me feel mortal again for the first time in decades.
The rest of the day is a disjointed blur. Belle and I fled the city, I blank out on the specifics of it but we made it out with some difficulty. After that we hunkered down for the night in a rickety old shack. I remember wanting to push on through the day but Belle protested, she didn’t deal with the sun as well as I did. When night finally fell we fled to the coast and managed to catch a ship heading towards the United States.
The trip was unpleasant to say the least, neither of us made good stowaways. We weren’t living life in the lap of luxury before by any means but we lived comfortably. This was a far cry from what we were used to in Paris and the welcome we received was even worse. Apparently fleeing for your own survival is a crime, both of us were separated and sent to prison on our arrival to the states for stowing away on the ship.
That was the last time I ever saw Belle, I get letters from her every now and then but I haven’t seen her in person since. She does well for herself, works in D.C. as a sort of handler for the supernatural. Regrettably she does work with Chimera, says they have the best interests at heart for the supernatural but she doesn’t see what I see out here. She doesn’t know the part I played in its creation, what it really stood for in the beginning. Chimera tends to kill first these days rather than actually try to help or give the supernatural some kind of place in the world. I think thats why I haven’t been to visit her, I just don’t want to argue with a friend as old as her. Funnily enough I don’t think anyone knows she’s a vampire. I doubt they’d take that very well, she’d probably lose her position. They must have suspicions though because theres no way she’d be able to get letters to me without Baelen knowing about it. Every few months they keep showing up though and I always make sure to write her back.
Anyways I’m getting off topic, back to my story. I was in prison for months until an offer came my way, serve the rest of my sentence or enlist in the army and be a free man when I came back, if I came back. Of course I took the offer, I didn’t realize how suspicious that deal sounded at the time but it actually played out exactly as they said. I also didn’t have much of a choice in the matter either. It was hard to get my hands on any blood when I was almost constantly under watch and I could feel the effects it was having on me. I figured it would be best to get a change of scenery.
The next week I was off to training then not long after, we shipped out to the trenches and met the commander of the platoon I’d been assigned to. That’s the first time I met Lieutenant Johnson Marsh and what a man he was. That first day I was convinced I’d never see a smile ever again, the trenches were a horrible depressing place. But there Marsh was, laughing and smiling and just generally enjoying life with the rest of the platoon. He was either crazy or stupid, thats what my first thoughts about him were. I remember those clearly even today but I couldn’t have been more wrong. If anything he may have turned out to be one of the smartest men I ever knew.
The first few weeks were spent holding our position from the germans. It was brutal but I found I was a decent shot with the rifle I was given. Marsh on the other hand spent those weeks barking orders at us and keeping us in line. He never used a rifle like most of the soldiers used. Instead he kept a Beretta m9 with him at all times. That weapon was the only one I ever saw him use. I remember the name only because he was so found of explaining everything there was to know about the gun to me whenever I questioned him about it. You could immediately recognize the pistol as his by its strange grip. One side of it had a picture of an idyllic scene of a manor house in the middle of a sprawling field. The other had a painting of a woman, his wife I’d guess but he never actually told me if that was there case. He seemed to spend the nights staring with longing at each side of the artistic grip.
I’d never really had a family, even with Belle I’d always felt like I was a bit of an outsider. There was so much I didn’t know about how normal people lived. Even though I’d had friends in Paris we were always kind of hidden away in our own personal corner. There was this separation between us and normal life, even between the other supernaturals in the area.
Here I felt like I was part of something though. Sure I was still lost but so was everyone else, we could be lost together and Marsh would always set us straight in the end. There was something about the man, some piece of him that just understood what we were all going through. He expected a lot from us but he was never unreasonable and several times even argued with command on our behalf when ridiculous orders came our way. I actually wanted to serve with him. The rest of the platoon wasn’t bad but they’d all been given the same deal as me. They were all just there to get out of prison. I’m still not sure what Marsh’s story was, he always kept that to himself but any of us would’ve taken a bullet for that man.
Our first real assignment came maybe three months into my period of indentured service. Our platoon was tasked with rescuing a captured American scientist and capturing a German scientist. The scientists in question were Frank Smith and Stein Hoffman and no, the irony of those names is not lost on me, fits the two of them though. I’m sure doctor Frankenstein wishes he was successful as those two. But before those orders could be acted on we had to overtake a German trench surrounding the compound they were staying in.
That fight was bloody and we lost several good men in the chaos. At one point a trench gun was shoved into my arms and I launched myself into the German trench. I wouldn’t be surprised if ghost stories are still passed around of what I did that day. After I made my way over and into the German trench I lashed out with all I had. Moving with superhuman speed and lashing out with both the bayonet affixed to my gun and my fangs, I fell upon the Germans. They stood little chance as I tore into them and all by my lonesome I ensured we’d face no more resistance.
Marsh was the first over into the now silent trench, I’m glad it was him because I’m not sure anyone else would’ve understood like him. I was holding the German officer to the trench wall, fangs buried in his neck as I fed when I heard footsteps behind me. I dropped him and turned to see Marsh staring questioningly at me. I must’ve been a sight to see, blood dripping from my mouth and covering my bullet torn uniform. Marsh steadied himself for a moment and shouted back to the rest of the platoon,
“Boys hold up a second! Just get down and stay up there a minute won’tcha!”
All of a sudden he took a step forward and a well mannered grin took its usual place on his lips.
“Though You didn’t care for sauerkraut J.?”
The joke stunned me, I fully expected him to shoot me then and there, put me down like the abomination I must’ve looked like to him.
“Lieutenant I…”
But Marsh raised his hands to cut me off.
“Command’d probably want me to shoot’cha, hell maybe I aught’a but I don’t think it’d be right. You seem decent, little odd sure but you’ve got heart, I see it in the way you look out for the boys. Plus I always figured there was some’n off about you. The way you stay out’a the light always seem a little faster and stronger than anyone got the right to be just didn’t figure it’d be…. That.”
Marsh told me pointing to the punctures in the officers neck.
“Thank you lieutenant, Could we keep this between us though sir?”
“Drop the formalities J. Jesus! We’re all friends here.”
“I just don’t want the others to know, they may not be as understanding as you.”
“No can do, but you can tell em’ yourself. Alright men, get on down here!”
In all my years I’d never had to explain myself to anyone up until that point. I guess that day my number was up but I never knew just how understanding people, normal people could be. I’d always lived around the supernatural in Paris, didn’t interact much with the normal people I saw in the streets every day, I didn’t have to. I’d always assumed there was a reason for that but in the moment I realized there wasn’t, not really. I’d just avoided normal people because I feared what they’d think if it came out that I wasn’t like them.
Of course There were some of the men that objected to… what I was. Most of them took after Marsh though. They didn’t really care what I was, I’d proven to them I was a good person and thats all that mattered. I just wish they’d been right about me back then because the truth was I still hadn’t learned to care, not really. Even the ones who objected came around eventually and that night Marsh finally came clean to me about why exactly he was so accepting.
According to him he’d always assumed there was more out there, things beyond human that lived on the fringes of society. Even he always thought he sounded crazy. I was the proof he needed to convince himself he wasn’t. Marsh also told me what we were really doing with the scientists. Both Frank and Stein researched the supernatural, their projects were as secret as secret could be. Marsh’s interests and theories, as personal as he tried to keep them showed up in his file somewhere. The higher ups had handpicked him for this mission because of it. The official story was that Frank had been captured but in reality he defected to further his own research with a like minded individual. Our mission was really to force Frank back into the fold and take Stein along with him.
The more he talked the more I could tell his heart was fully committed to this mission and the final assault tomorrow. I’d never seen someone so… alive. In my extremely long life I don’t think Id ever felt that kind of conviction myself. So I promised him I’d have his back tomorrow no matter what.
Morning broke and with it our assault began. Intel on the German defenses was shoddy at best but we never expected what we’d actually run into. At least three times our number acted as guards so a distraction was in order to give us a window of entry. A few of the men would handle the distraction “however they saw fit” to quote Marsh. Then Marsh and I would make our way into the compound itself and the rest of the platoon would cover us.
For what its worth most of the plan went off without a hitch. A tremendous explosion signaled Marsh and I to press the advantage and rush the confused soldiers that lay in front of us. Some actually turned and ran from me, apparently word of my stunt in the trenches yesterday had spread quickly. The rest of the platoon followed behind us but then our luck ran out with the roar of an engine.
An honest to god panzer tank rolled out of a tunnel we hadn’t seen that ran under the compound and turned its barrel towards us. I almost didn’t hear the blast from how slow time seemed to move. But move it did as the explosion of the shell’s impact scattered bodies left and right. The shell impacted behind us but the sheer force of the blast threw Marsh and I to the ground, knocking us unconscious.
When I slowly came to my eyes couldn’t believe what I was seeing. A man dressed in red priestly robes with a matching red top hat was walking between the bodies. When he approached one that groaned out with agony he’d kneel down and whisper things I couldn’t hear to them, after that he’d snap his fingers. sometimes the person he was talking with would disappear other times they would fall silent and sometimes it didn’t appear that anything happened at all.
Just the sight of the man terrified me and I wasn’t sure why. It was an instinctual reaction, the second I lay eyes on him I froze up and ice cold fear crept its way up my spine. When people accuse me of being the devil this man is who I think of. Even today I’m not sure what it is he does or why. What I do know is that he never looks the same. I’ve seen him appear as male, female, even as an animal on a few occasions but I can always tell. The second I’m near him no matter what he looks like the same old feeling comes over me.
Once my vision had finally focused in on the man he seemed to notice without ever looking at me. I blinked and suddenly he was there, kneeling over me.
“Would you like to live.”
He rasped down at me with a voice that seemed to boom around me no matter how quiet it must’ve actually been. I felt like a child again, staring at Archer for the first time. I’d never really had to fear death before but here I was, sure I was about to meet my end right here. In all honestly I wasn’t injured all that bad, I probably could’ve survived with or without this man help. But something told me that if I said no he’d make sure I would die right here.
“Ye…y… yes”
I stuttered out, barley able to form the words through the pain that stabbed throughout my body.
“You will be my instrument for one night at a time of me choosing.”
The man replied. I stayed silent as I stared into his eyes, trying to determine if the sunglasses he wore were tinted or if his eyes really did burn with an infernal red light. The man cocked his head as if waiting for a response to his question. I’m not sure if question was the right word though, there wasn’t much of a choice for me.
Looking back there was always a choice, maybe I could’ve survived on my own merits, found another way. In the years to come I’d wish I just said no, even if it would’ve cost me my life. But thats not what happened. I nodded and the deal maker snapped his fingers. As soon as he had dark clouds flooded the sky and blocked out the sun, allowing my body to begin repairing itself. The man moved on to where Marsh’s body lay and probably made him the same deal as I felt my body healing. Despite that, my consciousness faded again as I strained to try and hear what the man would say to Marsh.
We never actually discussed the man at all. Not then and not in the years since. Maybe that was all an unspoken part of Marsh’s deal. Maybe both of us just wished that man was nothing more than a waking dream, a vivid hallucination. Whatever the case neither of us ever mentioned that man to each other.
The next time I woke up I was chained to a table next to Marsh. We had been captured and brought before the very scientists we were here to apprehend. There were guards around but they all seemed to be waiting for some kind of order. I was certainly surprised when that order came in perfect English, even more surprised when the order was to let us down so we could talk.
Frank and Stein ended up being quite reasonable people. The two let us stay in relative comfort in the compound as long as we agreed to stay and leave them to their work. That was all the convincing it took for me. I understand that the men I’d served with were all dead and that these two were in some way responsible. Maybe that should’ve bothered me more, today it certainly would’ve. Back then I didn’t think the same way, they accepted me for what I was but only briefly, only out of respect for Marsh. What did the lives of people I’d known for so short a time really matter? Writing this now just makes me realize how cold I was before, I didn’t care for anything beyond myself. I’d made no efforts to find Belle since we were separated and how long had I known her, 100 years, more? I may have pretended I cared but when push came to shove I simply tried to make sure I survived.
Marsh wasn’t as cold as me, in fact he almost immediately reached for where his pistol should’ve been when he was unchained. It took Frank, Stein, and myself weeks to convince him that helping would be the right decision. He didn’t like it at first but little by little I think the scientists grew on him. The guards I’d seen our first day here seemed to thin out the longer we stayed. Wether that was a gesture of trust or simply because they were needed for more important duties I don’t know but it certainly eased Marsh’s mind.
I merely observed the scientists most of the time until Stein asked me for a sample of my blood. It didn’t surprise me that he knew what I was but for obvious reasons I was hesitant to give it to him, especially considering what I’d seen so called doctors do with vampire blood. Eventually he wore me down and I gave let him take a sample just to shut him up. After that I became more involved in their research though not by choice. They had me showcasing my abilities and tested the effects of sunlight on my blood. On a few rare occasions Stein even injected it into other prisoners that were brought in, something I put a stop to very quickly. T
hat sample of blood is why Frank and Stein are still around today. Somehow they managed to isolate whatever part of my DNA allows me to age so much slower than a normal person. They took that and spliced it into their own DNA against my recommendations. The crazy thing was it actually worked. Sure they had a newfound appreciation for rare steaks but beyond that I didn’t notice any of the effects that combining vampire DNA with your own would usually have.
As Marsh and I assisted the scientist’s research however we could we both came to the realization that they needed each other to function. Stein lacked a moral compass and was prone to suggest unethical or risky procedures, sometimes going so far as to carry them out without informing Frank. Frank on the other hand preferred caution in everything he did and sometimes I noticed him personally taking and shredding requests Stein had written for test subjects, hazardous materials, or samples from supernatural entities. The two kept a very delicate dance of checks and balances. Stein ever the daring mad scientist and Frank always playing the role of overly cautious genius.
Marsh and Frank got along extremely well near the end. The two would be up at all hours of the night as Frank explained what kind of things really existed in the world. Marsh always shared these ideas of a world where the supernatural and the normal could live together and I think Frank shared that vision. It wasn’t possible, still isn’t but treating the supernatural as something other than monsters couldn’t possibly be a bad thing. I think thats where the idea of the Bureau of Supernatural Affairs really came from, those talks Marsh had with anyone who would listen.
Overtime one of our favorite conversations was what we would do when the war was over and we could leave this compound. Stein wasn’t sure he would, if his research wasn’t going to a man who’d simply use it to cause more conflict he wouldn’t mind staying. Frank wanted to return home, if that was even possible and he asked if Stein would join him. Those two had also become close friends through our months in the lab. That checks and balances relationship they had made them basically inseparable. Marsh’s answer surprised me though, he said he wanted to get out of the military and start a program, something to help the supernatural live closer to normal lives. At least keep tabs on them so that the quality of their lives might improve. I was stunned, I couldn’t believe he’d throw his career away just to chase this pipe dream of his. I didn’t even know Marsh was concerned with that kind of thing. I didn’t have an answer of my own so I said I’d join Marsh and help with this program idea of his. Actually, even Frank and Stein seemed to agree with Marsh’s way of thinking. Little did we know the war would end less than a month after our talk and we’d all get the chance to actually put Marsh’s little idea to the test.
Once the Americans had come and discovered the compound pretty much abandoned aside from us we were all taken prisoner and shipped back to America. We were all interrogated and they either heard what they wanted to hear, or decided anyone we’d talk to about our experiences would assume we were just crazy. We were released back into society under constant surveillance. They even gave us a sizable home in D.C., it was certainly bugged to its core but thats exactly what we wanted.
Through the next year we used Frank and Steins knowledge and my supernatural nature to track down entities all over the country. We made sure that everything was discussed and planned out in the house. That way however was listening knew exactly what we were doing and how successful it was. It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows though, some entities would rather we didn’t know about them. Others were naturally aggressive but some we were actually able to help.
Our escapades as a group of four didn’t last much past the first year. Mostly because our master plan of using the bugs worked perfectly. Ol’ uncle Sam had been listening in and wanted his chance at calling the shots but it meant we became a legitimate organization, the BSA. Technically the acronym was already taken but no one ever complained and Marsh never came up with anything better.
We spent 4 years doing everything we could to improve the lives of supernatural beings everywhere. Not every one of our endeavors was a success but we did some good in the world. One such project was blood banks for vampires. While the blood that gets donated is used for transfusions and the like some was put into cold storage for the BSA. That got distributed to vampires who had come to an agreement with us to stop hunting humans for blood. Some vampires were even selected for jobs at these blood banks, under the supervision of BSA agents of course.
The more human supernaturals like werewolves, vampires, and succubi even used us to find jobs in the world. We made in roads for the supernatural in daily life because of it. Werewolves would use their strength for government construction. Vampire’s long lives made them excellent archivists or history teachers because they actually been there for those events. A succubus’s ability to understand and control someones emotions and reactions made them excellent therapists and conflict deescalation specialists. Those are just some of the fields we managed to get the supernatural involved in. While they usually had to hide their natural they were wildly successful.
Everything went well until that fourth year when I first met Baelen. He was headstrong from the beginning, the powers that be were grooming him for leadership. He was everything they wanted, he followed orders and didn’t question things to much. In short, he was the perfect solution to the inconvenience the four of us caused running the organization as we saw fit. But baleen had a mean streak, he didn’t want to protect the supernatural so much as he wanted to put them in their place. Unfortunately a lot of the research we provided had scared pretty much everyone above us who had never even entertained the idea of the supernatural until now. That meant Baelen’s ideas of monitoring and segregating the supernatural population were popular. So popular that suggesting culling their numbers to keep them in check and under the thumb of the BSA was an idea they actually entertained. That sentiment caught on and our orders became more and more militant.
Every time we disregarded them to do things the way we had envisioned the consequence grew steeper. Eventually Frank, Stein, Marsh, and I just couldn’t stand to see what our BSA had become so we left. We couldn’t do anything else to stop what was coming from the inside, no point in going down with the ship.
After that Baelen quickly ended up heading the whole operation. He still took orders directly from government officials and when the BSA became part of homeland security it became Chimera division. Why they chose such a stupid name I’ll never know but the organization was a shadow of its former self. Before we looked out for the supernatural, tried to help. Under Baelen Chimera just exists to monitor the supernatural and “correct” any issues uncle Sam decides to have with them. They’re glorified enforcers that don’t give a damn how the supernatural actually have it. That’s not to say some good people don’t work for them, people like Belle and even Marsh’s own daughter as far as I’m aware.
It sickens me to think I was a part of it though, for all the good we did maybe it would’ve been better if Johnson Marsh’s pipe dream would’ve stayed just that. I can do a lot but I can’t change the past so I guess we’ll never know. A while ago I heard that something had happened in a little nowhere town out in New Mexico. Pretty much dropped off the face of the Earth. The only reason I even heard about it was through Belle’s letters. Apparently Chimera had to do some huge cover up job and decided it was better if the town just never existed. Maybe I should go myself and see if I can’t piece what happened together. Could be that someone else out there has it in for Chimera and is a whole lot more direct about it than me. I’m just imaging it was some runaway experiment Frank and Stein got up to. I wonder where those two ended up, I’ll have to check up on them sometime. This journal writing is digging up a lot of memories for me but thats probably a good thing. Write them down before I forget again. I think that’ll be all for today then, why do I keep addressing these like someone’s reading them? Not much point to that is there?
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Writing these things has made me realize how different I sound these days. Back when all this started I’m not sure I even spoke English and I certainly didn’t speak like I do now but to be honest, I don’t remember. Trying to recall things to write has made me realize exactly how many little things I’ve forgotten over the years. The sights, the sounds, all those fade into the background of most events.
Even something as visceral as Archer’s basement still takes me a while to recall clearly. I wonder if it’s more than just my long life, we do age after all. I mentioned before that sunlight is not deadly to vampires like myself but very unpleasant, that and it makes us more normal. In the sun I won’t be as strong as I would be in the dark and by my assessment I age in the sun as well. Not any faster than a normal person but I do age, its why I don’t still look like that little boy stuck in Paris anymore.
I did spend quite some time in Paris before I left or rather, escaped. I’m not sure I ever would have left if not for the war. I didn’t have many friends there save for other… I’m not sure what to call them… entities? Whatever you want to cal it I had some friends in the more supernatural parts of the city. A vampire named Belle had become a sort of mother figure to me over the years spent there.
I met her by chance one night as I sated myself in an alley. I was ready to fight but she just laughed and flashed her own fangs at me, ridiculing me for being so careless. It was under her wing where I learned everything I know now about vampires. It’s where I realized not all vampires endure sunlight as well as I do, if anything that one trait is what’s most unique about me according to her. But thats not the story I want to tell on these pages tonight. I want to tell the story of lieutenant Marsh and the real beginnings of the organization that would become Chimera.
When war came to Paris that summer I was unprepared. I never expected the war to spiral out of hand so quickly or for it to force me out of my home. I was with Belle and a few more of her friends whose names escape me waiting out the worst of it and hoping things would blow over in the city soon. Obviously we were completely misguided, it was that sense of invulnerability again just the same as when I was a boy. The world was our playground and nothing could hurt us. It didn’t help that in some ways I really was invulnerable and it went straight to my head.
Only flashes of my memory from that day remain. I remember the nazi soldier kicking in the door and firing at Belle’s friends. I remember the screaming that abruptly ended in a single gunshot. I remember the trail of blood leading to her friends body where it lay staked to the ground in the sun. We heal fast, not instantly but much faster than a human. Put us in sunlight though, and we’re just as fragile as a normal person. It was the first time I’d seen someone with abilities like ours die and it made me feel mortal again for the first time in decades.
The rest of the day is a disjointed blur. Belle and I fled the city, I blank out on the specifics of it but we made it out with some difficulty. After that we hunkered down for the night in a rickety old shack. I remember wanting to push on through the day but Belle protested, she didn’t deal with the sun as well as I did. When night finally fell we fled to the coast and managed to catch a ship heading towards the United States.
The trip was unpleasant to say the least, neither of us made good stowaways. We weren’t living life in the lap of luxury before by any means but we lived comfortably. This was a far cry from what we were used to in Paris and the welcome we received was even worse. Apparently fleeing for your own survival is a crime, both of us were separated and sent to prison on our arrival to the states for stowing away on the ship.
That was the last time I ever saw Belle, I get letters from her every now and then but I haven’t seen her in person since. She does well for herself, works in D.C. as a sort of handler for the supernatural. Regrettably she does work with Chimera, says they have the best interests at heart for the supernatural but she doesn’t see what I see out here. She doesn’t know the part I played in its creation, what it really stood for in the beginning. Chimera tends to kill first these days rather than actually try to help or give the supernatural some kind of place in the world. I think thats why I haven’t been to visit her, I just don’t want to argue with a friend as old as her. Funnily enough I don’t think anyone knows she’s a vampire. I doubt they’d take that very well, she’d probably lose her position. They must have suspicions though because theres no way she’d be able to get letters to me without Baelen knowing about it. Every few months they keep showing up though and I always make sure to write her back.
Anyways I’m getting off topic, back to my story. I was in prison for months until an offer came my way, serve the rest of my sentence or enlist in the army and be a free man when I came back, if I came back. Of course I took the offer, I didn’t realize how suspicious that deal sounded at the time but it actually played out exactly as they said. I also didn’t have much of a choice in the matter either. It was hard to get my hands on any blood when I was almost constantly under watch and I could feel the effects it was having on me. I figured it would be best to get a change of scenery.
The next week I was off to training then not long after, we shipped out to the trenches and met the commander of the platoon I’d been assigned to. That’s the first time I met Lieutenant Johnson Marsh and what a man he was. That first day I was convinced I’d never see a smile ever again, the trenches were a horrible depressing place. But there Marsh was, laughing and smiling and just generally enjoying life with the rest of the platoon. He was either crazy or stupid, thats what my first thoughts about him were. I remember those clearly even today but I couldn’t have been more wrong. If anything he may have turned out to be one of the smartest men I ever knew.
The first few weeks were spent holding our position from the germans. It was brutal but I found I was a decent shot with the rifle I was given. Marsh on the other hand spent those weeks barking orders at us and keeping us in line. He never used a rifle like most of the soldiers used. Instead he kept a Beretta m9 with him at all times. That weapon was the only one I ever saw him use. I remember the name only because he was so found of explaining everything there was to know about the gun to me whenever I questioned him about it. You could immediately recognize the pistol as his by its strange grip. One side of it had a picture of an idyllic scene of a manor house in the middle of a sprawling field. The other had a painting of a woman, his wife I’d guess but he never actually told me if that was there case. He seemed to spend the nights staring with longing at each side of the artistic grip.
I’d never really had a family, even with Belle I’d always felt like I was a bit of an outsider. There was so much I didn’t know about how normal people lived. Even though I’d had friends in Paris we were always kind of hidden away in our own personal corner. There was this separation between us and normal life, even between the other supernaturals in the area.
Here I felt like I was part of something though. Sure I was still lost but so was everyone else, we could be lost together and Marsh would always set us straight in the end. There was something about the man, some piece of him that just understood what we were all going through. He expected a lot from us but he was never unreasonable and several times even argued with command on our behalf when ridiculous orders came our way. I actually wanted to serve with him. The rest of the platoon wasn’t bad but they’d all been given the same deal as me. They were all just there to get out of prison. I’m still not sure what Marsh’s story was, he always kept that to himself but any of us would’ve taken a bullet for that man.
Our first real assignment came maybe three months into my period of indentured service. Our platoon was tasked with rescuing a captured American scientist and capturing a German scientist. The scientists in question were Frank Smith and Stein Hoffman and no, the irony of those names is not lost on me, fits the two of them though. I’m sure doctor Frankenstein wishes he was successful as those two. But before those orders could be acted on we had to overtake a German trench surrounding the compound they were staying in.
That fight was bloody and we lost several good men in the chaos. At one point a trench gun was shoved into my arms and I launched myself into the German trench. I wouldn’t be surprised if ghost stories are still passed around of what I did that day. After I made my way over and into the German trench I lashed out with all I had. Moving with superhuman speed and lashing out with both the bayonet affixed to my gun and my fangs, I fell upon the Germans. They stood little chance as I tore into them and all by my lonesome I ensured we’d face no more resistance.
Marsh was the first over into the now silent trench, I’m glad it was him because I’m not sure anyone else would’ve understood like him. I was holding the German officer to the trench wall, fangs buried in his neck as I fed when I heard footsteps behind me. I dropped him and turned to see Marsh staring questioningly at me. I must’ve been a sight to see, blood dripping from my mouth and covering my bullet torn uniform. Marsh steadied himself for a moment and shouted back to the rest of the platoon,
“Boys hold up a second! Just get down and stay up there a minute won’tcha!”
All of a sudden he took a step forward and a well mannered grin took its usual place on his lips.
“Though You didn’t care for sauerkraut J.?”
The joke stunned me, I fully expected him to shoot me then and there, put me down like the abomination I must’ve looked like to him.
“Lieutenant I…”
But Marsh raised his hands to cut me off.
“Command’d probably want me to shoot’cha, hell maybe I aught’a but I don’t think it’d be right. You seem decent, little odd sure but you’ve got heart, I see it in the way you look out for the boys. Plus I always figured there was some’n off about you. The way you stay out’a the light always seem a little faster and stronger than anyone got the right to be just didn’t figure it’d be…. That.”
Marsh told me pointing to the punctures in the officers neck.
“Thank you lieutenant, Could we keep this between us though sir?”
“Drop the formalities J. Jesus! We’re all friends here.”
“I just don’t want the others to know, they may not be as understanding as you.”
“No can do, but you can tell em’ yourself. Alright men, get on down here!”
In all my years I’d never had to explain myself to anyone up until that point. I guess that day my number was up but I never knew just how understanding people, normal people could be. I’d always lived around the supernatural in Paris, didn’t interact much with the normal people I saw in the streets every day, I didn’t have to. I’d always assumed there was a reason for that but in the moment I realized there wasn’t, not really. I’d just avoided normal people because I feared what they’d think if it came out that I wasn’t like them.
Of course There were some of the men that objected to… what I was. Most of them took after Marsh though. They didn’t really care what I was, I’d proven to them I was a good person and thats all that mattered. I just wish they’d been right about me back then because the truth was I still hadn’t learned to care, not really. Even the ones who objected came around eventually and that night Marsh finally came clean to me about why exactly he was so accepting.
According to him he’d always assumed there was more out there, things beyond human that lived on the fringes of society. Even he always thought he sounded crazy. I was the proof he needed to convince himself he wasn’t. Marsh also told me what we were really doing with the scientists. Both Frank and Stein researched the supernatural, their projects were as secret as secret could be. Marsh’s interests and theories, as personal as he tried to keep them showed up in his file somewhere. The higher ups had handpicked him for this mission because of it. The official story was that Frank had been captured but in reality he defected to further his own research with a like minded individual. Our mission was really to force Frank back into the fold and take Stein along with him.
The more he talked the more I could tell his heart was fully committed to this mission and the final assault tomorrow. I’d never seen someone so… alive. In my extremely long life I don’t think Id ever felt that kind of conviction myself. So I promised him I’d have his back tomorrow no matter what.
Morning broke and with it our assault began. Intel on the German defenses was shoddy at best but we never expected what we’d actually run into. At least three times our number acted as guards so a distraction was in order to give us a window of entry. A few of the men would handle the distraction “however they saw fit” to quote Marsh. Then Marsh and I would make our way into the compound itself and the rest of the platoon would cover us.
For what its worth most of the plan went off without a hitch. A tremendous explosion signaled Marsh and I to press the advantage and rush the confused soldiers that lay in front of us. Some actually turned and ran from me, apparently word of my stunt in the trenches yesterday had spread quickly. The rest of the platoon followed behind us but then our luck ran out with the roar of an engine.
An honest to god panzer tank rolled out of a tunnel we hadn’t seen that ran under the compound and turned its barrel towards us. I almost didn’t hear the blast from how slow time seemed to move. But move it did as the explosion of the shell’s impact scattered bodies left and right. The shell impacted behind us but the sheer force of the blast threw Marsh and I to the ground, knocking us unconscious.
When I slowly came to my eyes couldn’t believe what I was seeing. A man dressed in red priestly robes with a matching red top hat was walking between the bodies. When he approached one that groaned out with agony he’d kneel down and whisper things I couldn’t hear to them, after that he’d snap his fingers. sometimes the person he was talking with would disappear other times they would fall silent and sometimes it didn’t appear that anything happened at all.
Just the sight of the man terrified me and I wasn’t sure why. It was an instinctual reaction, the second I lay eyes on him I froze up and ice cold fear crept its way up my spine. When people accuse me of being the devil this man is who I think of. Even today I’m not sure what it is he does or why. What I do know is that he never looks the same. I’ve seen him appear as male, female, even as an animal on a few occasions but I can always tell. The second I’m near him no matter what he looks like the same old feeling comes over me.
Once my vision had finally focused in on the man he seemed to notice without ever looking at me. I blinked and suddenly he was there, kneeling over me.
“Would you like to live.”
He rasped down at me with a voice that seemed to boom around me no matter how quiet it must’ve actually been. I felt like a child again, staring at Archer for the first time. I’d never really had to fear death before but here I was, sure I was about to meet my end right here. In all honestly I wasn’t injured all that bad, I probably could’ve survived with or without this man help. But something told me that if I said no he’d make sure I would die right here.
“Ye…y… yes”
I stuttered out, barley able to form the words through the pain that stabbed throughout my body.
“You will be my instrument for one night at a time of me choosing.”
The man replied. I stayed silent as I stared into his eyes, trying to determine if the sunglasses he wore were tinted or if his eyes really did burn with an infernal red light. The man cocked his head as if waiting for a response to his question. I’m not sure if question was the right word though, there wasn’t much of a choice for me.
Looking back there was always a choice, maybe I could’ve survived on my own merits, found another way. In the years to come I’d wish I just said no, even if it would’ve cost me my life. But thats not what happened. I nodded and the deal maker snapped his fingers. As soon as he had dark clouds flooded the sky and blocked out the sun, allowing my body to begin repairing itself. The man moved on to where Marsh’s body lay and probably made him the same deal as I felt my body healing. Despite that, my consciousness faded again as I strained to try and hear what the man would say to Marsh.
We never actually discussed the man at all. Not then and not in the years since. Maybe that was all an unspoken part of Marsh’s deal. Maybe both of us just wished that man was nothing more than a waking dream, a vivid hallucination. Whatever the case neither of us ever mentioned that man to each other.
The next time I woke up I was chained to a table next to Marsh. We had been captured and brought before the very scientists we were here to apprehend. There were guards around but they all seemed to be waiting for some kind of order. I was certainly surprised when that order came in perfect English, even more surprised when the order was to let us down so we could talk.
Frank and Stein ended up being quite reasonable people. The two let us stay in relative comfort in the compound as long as we agreed to stay and leave them to their work. That was all the convincing it took for me. I understand that the men I’d served with were all dead and that these two were in some way responsible. Maybe that should’ve bothered me more, today it certainly would’ve. Back then I didn’t think the same way, they accepted me for what I was but only briefly, only out of respect for Marsh. What did the lives of people I’d known for so short a time really matter? Writing this now just makes me realize how cold I was before, I didn’t care for anything beyond myself. I’d made no efforts to find Belle since we were separated and how long had I known her, 100 years, more? I may have pretended I cared but when push came to shove I simply tried to make sure I survived.
Marsh wasn’t as cold as me, in fact he almost immediately reached for where his pistol should’ve been when he was unchained. It took Frank, Stein, and myself weeks to convince him that helping would be the right decision. He didn’t like it at first but little by little I think the scientists grew on him. The guards I’d seen our first day here seemed to thin out the longer we stayed. Wether that was a gesture of trust or simply because they were needed for more important duties I don’t know but it certainly eased Marsh’s mind.
I merely observed the scientists most of the time until Stein asked me for a sample of my blood. It didn’t surprise me that he knew what I was but for obvious reasons I was hesitant to give it to him, especially considering what I’d seen so called doctors do with vampire blood. Eventually he wore me down and I gave let him take a sample just to shut him up. After that I became more involved in their research though not by choice. They had me showcasing my abilities and tested the effects of sunlight on my blood. On a few rare occasions Stein even injected it into other prisoners that were brought in, something I put a stop to very quickly. T
hat sample of blood is why Frank and Stein are still around today. Somehow they managed to isolate whatever part of my DNA allows me to age so much slower than a normal person. They took that and spliced it into their own DNA against my recommendations. The crazy thing was it actually worked. Sure they had a newfound appreciation for rare steaks but beyond that I didn’t notice any of the effects that combining vampire DNA with your own would usually have.
As Marsh and I assisted the scientist’s research however we could we both came to the realization that they needed each other to function. Stein lacked a moral compass and was prone to suggest unethical or risky procedures, sometimes going so far as to carry them out without informing Frank. Frank on the other hand preferred caution in everything he did and sometimes I noticed him personally taking and shredding requests Stein had written for test subjects, hazardous materials, or samples from supernatural entities. The two kept a very delicate dance of checks and balances. Stein ever the daring mad scientist and Frank always playing the role of overly cautious genius.
Marsh and Frank got along extremely well near the end. The two would be up at all hours of the night as Frank explained what kind of things really existed in the world. Marsh always shared these ideas of a world where the supernatural and the normal could live together and I think Frank shared that vision. It wasn’t possible, still isn’t but treating the supernatural as something other than monsters couldn’t possibly be a bad thing. I think thats where the idea of the Bureau of Supernatural Affairs really came from, those talks Marsh had with anyone who would listen.
Overtime one of our favorite conversations was what we would do when the war was over and we could leave this compound. Stein wasn’t sure he would, if his research wasn’t going to a man who’d simply use it to cause more conflict he wouldn’t mind staying. Frank wanted to return home, if that was even possible and he asked if Stein would join him. Those two had also become close friends through our months in the lab. That checks and balances relationship they had made them basically inseparable. Marsh’s answer surprised me though, he said he wanted to get out of the military and start a program, something to help the supernatural live closer to normal lives. At least keep tabs on them so that the quality of their lives might improve. I was stunned, I couldn’t believe he’d throw his career away just to chase this pipe dream of his. I didn’t even know Marsh was concerned with that kind of thing. I didn’t have an answer of my own so I said I’d join Marsh and help with this program idea of his. Actually, even Frank and Stein seemed to agree with Marsh’s way of thinking. Little did we know the war would end less than a month after our talk and we’d all get the chance to actually put Marsh’s little idea to the test.
Once the Americans had come and discovered the compound pretty much abandoned aside from us we were all taken prisoner and shipped back to America. We were all interrogated and they either heard what they wanted to hear, or decided anyone we’d talk to about our experiences would assume we were just crazy. We were released back into society under constant surveillance. They even gave us a sizable home in D.C., it was certainly bugged to its core but thats exactly what we wanted.
Through the next year we used Frank and Steins knowledge and my supernatural nature to track down entities all over the country. We made sure that everything was discussed and planned out in the house. That way however was listening knew exactly what we were doing and how successful it was. It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows though, some entities would rather we didn’t know about them. Others were naturally aggressive but some we were actually able to help.
Our escapades as a group of four didn’t last much past the first year. Mostly because our master plan of using the bugs worked perfectly. Ol’ uncle Sam had been listening in and wanted his chance at calling the shots but it meant we became a legitimate organization, the BSA. Technically the acronym was already taken but no one ever complained and Marsh never came up with anything better.
We spent 4 years doing everything we could to improve the lives of supernatural beings everywhere. Not every one of our endeavors was a success but we did some good in the world. One such project was blood banks for vampires. While the blood that gets donated is used for transfusions and the like some was put into cold storage for the BSA. That got distributed to vampires who had come to an agreement with us to stop hunting humans for blood. Some vampires were even selected for jobs at these blood banks, under the supervision of BSA agents of course.
The more human supernaturals like werewolves, vampires, and succubi even used us to find jobs in the world. We made in roads for the supernatural in daily life because of it. Werewolves would use their strength for government construction. Vampire’s long lives made them excellent archivists or history teachers because they actually been there for those events. A succubus’s ability to understand and control someones emotions and reactions made them excellent therapists and conflict deescalation specialists. Those are just some of the fields we managed to get the supernatural involved in. While they usually had to hide their natural they were wildly successful.
Everything went well until that fourth year when I first met Baelen. He was headstrong from the beginning, the powers that be were grooming him for leadership. He was everything they wanted, he followed orders and didn’t question things to much. In short, he was the perfect solution to the inconvenience the four of us caused running the organization as we saw fit. But baleen had a mean streak, he didn’t want to protect the supernatural so much as he wanted to put them in their place. Unfortunately a lot of the research we provided had scared pretty much everyone above us who had never even entertained the idea of the supernatural until now. That meant Baelen’s ideas of monitoring and segregating the supernatural population were popular. So popular that suggesting culling their numbers to keep them in check and under the thumb of the BSA was an idea they actually entertained. That sentiment caught on and our orders became more and more militant.
Every time we disregarded them to do things the way we had envisioned the consequence grew steeper. Eventually Frank, Stein, Marsh, and I just couldn’t stand to see what our BSA had become so we left. We couldn’t do anything else to stop what was coming from the inside, no point in going down with the ship.
After that Baelen quickly ended up heading the whole operation. He still took orders directly from government officials and when the BSA became part of homeland security it became Chimera division. Why they chose such a stupid name I’ll never know but the organization was a shadow of its former self. Before we looked out for the supernatural, tried to help. Under Baelen Chimera just exists to monitor the supernatural and “correct” any issues uncle Sam decides to have with them. They’re glorified enforcers that don’t give a damn how the supernatural actually have it. That’s not to say some good people don’t work for them, people like Belle and even Marsh’s own daughter as far as I’m aware.
It sickens me to think I was a part of it though, for all the good we did maybe it would’ve been better if Johnson Marsh’s pipe dream would’ve stayed just that. I can do a lot but I can’t change the past so I guess we’ll never know. A while ago I heard that something had happened in a little nowhere town out in New Mexico. Pretty much dropped off the face of the Earth. The only reason I even heard about it was through Belle’s letters. Apparently Chimera had to do some huge cover up job and decided it was better if the town just never existed. Maybe I should go myself and see if I can’t piece what happened together. Could be that someone else out there has it in for Chimera and is a whole lot more direct about it than me. I’m just imaging it was some runaway experiment Frank and Stein got up to. I wonder where those two ended up, I’ll have to check up on them sometime. This journal writing is digging up a lot of memories for me but thats probably a good thing. Write them down before I forget again. I think that’ll be all for today then, why do I keep addressing these like someone’s reading them? Not much point to that is there?
2024.05.21 20:41 mish_mish_ Done with social media for good
I deactivated my instagram a couple months ago because I found it difficult to navigate my current life circumstances (basically rediscovering who I am on deeper levels, career change, chronic illness la la la) while constantly comparing myself to what I was seeing online. I know it’s all an image, a projection, even downright fake, but even with that knowledge it’s like your mind plays tricks - I think it’s impossible to not compare yourself.
I got active in the political posting which is honestly so futile. Long standing conflicts or human rights violations aren’t going to be solved or even significantly affected by strangers arguing in a vacuum. It was all such an energy suck, one sided (the algorithms don’t help) and kind of cultish. And some of the “humanistic” activists I met in real life turned out to be the most selfish and self-centered people who argue for human rights all day long but treat the people around them like shit and pick and choose their definition of human rights (ie deep misogyny). I’ve met Instagram models with massive followings (mostly creepy men) who look put together online but are a complete mess in real life. I’m not bashing these women I’m referencing, it is quite heartbreaking.
We’re all human, people are complex and layered so I want to give folks grace, but why do we keep forcing ourselves to forge this fake online reality? Feels like escapism more than anything else. Feels like this widely accepted mental illness of delusion that we’ve all just welcomed into our lives and refuse to let go of because it feeds our ego. When will we as a society reject these machines that are set up to make us fail by becoming addicted cult members of whatever our algorithm shows us?
It’s pure ego. Instagram isn’t the “innocent” app it used to be. It was fun when it first started, now it’s all about self branding even if you’re a regular person who doesn’t want to sell anything, there is pressure to sell yourself.
I reopened a new account last week thinking maybe I just need to start fresh. I wanted to post my art work and promote my Etsy shop. I so quickly ended up just doom scrolling and didn’t even want to share my art work because for lack of a better term it just doesn’t feel like a safe space to do so. To be truly vulnerable and real. Everything is curated and identity politicized and narcissistic. I deleted it and have no desire to go back.
Twitter is a cesspool. Facebook is lame. It’s all just so meaningless and addictive and me me me. What a shitty combination.
Anyway, glad I found this sub. If you made it this far thanks for reading. Godspeed to everyone here finding a more analog way. Man do I miss the 90s.
submitted by mish_mish_ to nosurf [link] [comments]
I got active in the political posting which is honestly so futile. Long standing conflicts or human rights violations aren’t going to be solved or even significantly affected by strangers arguing in a vacuum. It was all such an energy suck, one sided (the algorithms don’t help) and kind of cultish. And some of the “humanistic” activists I met in real life turned out to be the most selfish and self-centered people who argue for human rights all day long but treat the people around them like shit and pick and choose their definition of human rights (ie deep misogyny). I’ve met Instagram models with massive followings (mostly creepy men) who look put together online but are a complete mess in real life. I’m not bashing these women I’m referencing, it is quite heartbreaking.
We’re all human, people are complex and layered so I want to give folks grace, but why do we keep forcing ourselves to forge this fake online reality? Feels like escapism more than anything else. Feels like this widely accepted mental illness of delusion that we’ve all just welcomed into our lives and refuse to let go of because it feeds our ego. When will we as a society reject these machines that are set up to make us fail by becoming addicted cult members of whatever our algorithm shows us?
It’s pure ego. Instagram isn’t the “innocent” app it used to be. It was fun when it first started, now it’s all about self branding even if you’re a regular person who doesn’t want to sell anything, there is pressure to sell yourself.
I reopened a new account last week thinking maybe I just need to start fresh. I wanted to post my art work and promote my Etsy shop. I so quickly ended up just doom scrolling and didn’t even want to share my art work because for lack of a better term it just doesn’t feel like a safe space to do so. To be truly vulnerable and real. Everything is curated and identity politicized and narcissistic. I deleted it and have no desire to go back.
Twitter is a cesspool. Facebook is lame. It’s all just so meaningless and addictive and me me me. What a shitty combination.
Anyway, glad I found this sub. If you made it this far thanks for reading. Godspeed to everyone here finding a more analog way. Man do I miss the 90s.
2024.05.21 20:41 Naked_Hippo6942 Pro tip to remember before buying PCs on fb marketplace.
So, I know this person who uses cheats in video games. They've cheated in practically every game imaginable and have been hardware ID banned in all of them. Afterwards, they go on to sell their PC on Facebook Marketplace. The buyer takes a look at the PC, thinking everything is good, but then they open their favorite game only to discover that their main account is banned, leaving them unable to play games on their PC anymore. Unfortunately, there isn't a definitive method to check this before making a purchase, but it's something to be mindful of. Additionally, some individuals purchase PCs from retailers like Best Buy or Amazon, use cheats, and then return them, which is equally frustrating. So, stay safe out there!
submitted by Naked_Hippo6942 to pcmasterrace [link] [comments]
2024.05.21 20:41 Fresh-Ad7925 Probably very dumb question
I’m in the US. This will sound weird but I am 28 and have never owned / bought / rented a car. I of course know how to drive and have a license, but I moved to a big city when I was 18 and never needed a car. Now I am back in the suburbs and need to buy a car.
So I have very good credit and a long relationship with my bank which pre-approved me for a 69k loan. I am looking at a 2024 Kia Soul from a local dealership that is listed on my bank’s auto page. The Kia is about ~22k and I will be making ~380$ monthly payments for 60 month term, at ~6.5 apr, with 5k down. All of this I am okay with and actually prefer because I trust my bank a lot more than a random dealership sales person.
So my main question is that I am planning to go to the dealership directly this weekend. What can I expect? I know I will ask to test drive the car, but do I just come out and immediately show my pre-approval letter? Will the dealership itself have to do any of their own finance checks (income, credit, etc) — or is that just a tactic to get me to use their financing? I am just very nervous of getting fucked over. TIA
submitted by Fresh-Ad7925 to askcarsales [link] [comments]
So I have very good credit and a long relationship with my bank which pre-approved me for a 69k loan. I am looking at a 2024 Kia Soul from a local dealership that is listed on my bank’s auto page. The Kia is about ~22k and I will be making ~380$ monthly payments for 60 month term, at ~6.5 apr, with 5k down. All of this I am okay with and actually prefer because I trust my bank a lot more than a random dealership sales person.
So my main question is that I am planning to go to the dealership directly this weekend. What can I expect? I know I will ask to test drive the car, but do I just come out and immediately show my pre-approval letter? Will the dealership itself have to do any of their own finance checks (income, credit, etc) — or is that just a tactic to get me to use their financing? I am just very nervous of getting fucked over. TIA
2024.05.21 20:41 dickles_pickles 27 [M4F] #USA #NJ - Aspiring goth, "gamer" guy, and tall girl appreciator looking for loving GFD/RR (gentle femdom/role reversal) relationship. Pictures included, open to relocation!
Here's a very informative post because I'm very serious about finding the right person for me. I've clearly marked and categorized everything for your viewing pleasure.
What brings me to reddit for dating: For the short of it, I've been doing online dating for about 9 years, and could only describe my experience as a sisyphean struggle. With more traditional dating platforms having beenabsolutely torturous and a complete waste of time, god it hurts to live less than productive, I'm hoping this will give me a better result.
Age: 27, open to 20-32~. I’m less about age, more about attraction/maturity.
Appearance: 5'8", medium length blond hair (pictures are from when it was short), blue eyes, white skin, slim-fit body type. I dress almost exclusively in black if I can help it, hence "aspiring goth". I've been told I'm fairly handsome, but I'm including a few (very amateurly taken) pictures, so you can decide for yourself whether or not I've been lied to!
Face: https://imgur.com/a/ykiCkwQ
Body (Warning: Shirtless): https://imgbox.com/g/fI9YOozvlP
Location: Currently in central NJ, somewhere in the no man's land between nyc and philly. For practical reasons I'm currently open to dating and relocation within the US, but outside of it sadly complicates matters a lot. I'm not looking for a long distance relationship, so feasibly being able to regularly interact and see each other in person is important.
Looking For: A mutually loving and caring relationship with a partner and best friend in one. I feel that what I'd like the most in life is to find someone very special to me, who I can love with all my heart and spend my life with. Not really looking for a "domme", but a real relationship with some gentle femdom/role reversal elements.
Traits I want in a partner: Kind, loving, trustworthy, understanding. Good sense of humor, emotionally intelligent, communicates well. I wouldn't ask for anything I don't freely give you.
Non-sexual interests: Many of my interests fall into the "nerd" category. Games (video and tabletop), anime, music, art, sci-fi and fantasy stuff of all varieties. I enjoy a lot of RPG's, and some of my favorite game series include kingdom hearts, fire emblem, dark souls, and a fair few others. Former high level league player who's currently retired.
Recently my friend got me into magic the gathering, although we've only been playing commander so far.
In general, I like to keep in shape, play games with friends, share music, watch tv/movies/anime (horror and psychological stuff especially), share memes, read, and do some amateur writing. I'm also rather intelligent/insightful, which I think you'll appreciate as you get to know me.
Personality: Generally cool headed, laid back, and kind. Introverted, but can be extroverted when I'm in my element and otherwise comfortable. Deceptively intelligent despite how incredibly basic my pictures look, but I also tend to be silly a lot so that's not easy to discern at first.
I’m also very reasonable, with a strong preference for peacefully resolving issues, so you can expect very little to no drama and good communication skills. One moral concept I'm quite fond is the law of equivalent exchange, so fairness and reciprocation is a big deal for me.
Fun facts: I have a deep and sexy voice which many people don't expect, and a great many people tell me I should get into radio or voice acting.
Sexual stuff
Are you fully sub or a switch?: Probably a strongly sub leaning switch, although I'm not terribly sure about the particular category I'd fit into. I find being the submissive (but reciprocal) partner to be most fulfilling by far.
Are you just sexually sub or enjoy nonsexual aspects as well?: I enjoy both sexual and nonsexual aspects, although my particular tastes might be unusual to those with harder femdom interests. I'm perfectly happy being your adoring subby boyfriend even in public, in case you're into PDA and flaunting that aspect of our relationship.
Sexual (and relationship) interests: I'm fairly new to a lot of things, so this isn't an exhaustive list. I'm very open minded and willing to try most things once, even if I think it wont work for me. I'm also more than happy to try and indulge your interests, so feel free to message me and talk to me about what you like too!
Partner preferences: I'm a big fan of goth/alt/tomboy looks. Short hair is a very big plus, somewhere between pixie and neck length. Height difference (taller than me) is also a very big plus, as you may have guessed from my title. But these aren't explicitly dealbreakers! As long as I find you attractive then it works for me.
Dealbreakers/Requirements: Similar interests are a requirement for me. Being able to enjoy my favorite things with my favorite person is something I want dearly in a relationship. I do have a strong preference for body type that I unfortunately can't get past, being the thinner end of the spectrum when it comes to proportions/body fat. So basically slim/fit/lighter end of average. PLEASE DON'T BE A SOCIOPATH, OR ACT LIKE ONE.
submitted by dickles_pickles to r4r [link] [comments]
What brings me to reddit for dating: For the short of it, I've been doing online dating for about 9 years, and could only describe my experience as a sisyphean struggle. With more traditional dating platforms having been
Age: 27, open to 20-32~. I’m less about age, more about attraction/maturity.
Appearance: 5'8", medium length blond hair (pictures are from when it was short), blue eyes, white skin, slim-fit body type. I dress almost exclusively in black if I can help it, hence "aspiring goth". I've been told I'm fairly handsome, but I'm including a few (very amateurly taken) pictures, so you can decide for yourself whether or not I've been lied to!
Face: https://imgur.com/a/ykiCkwQ
Body (Warning: Shirtless): https://imgbox.com/g/fI9YOozvlP
Location: Currently in central NJ, somewhere in the no man's land between nyc and philly. For practical reasons I'm currently open to dating and relocation within the US, but outside of it sadly complicates matters a lot. I'm not looking for a long distance relationship, so feasibly being able to regularly interact and see each other in person is important.
Looking For: A mutually loving and caring relationship with a partner and best friend in one. I feel that what I'd like the most in life is to find someone very special to me, who I can love with all my heart and spend my life with. Not really looking for a "domme", but a real relationship with some gentle femdom/role reversal elements.
Traits I want in a partner: Kind, loving, trustworthy, understanding. Good sense of humor, emotionally intelligent, communicates well. I wouldn't ask for anything I don't freely give you.
Non-sexual interests: Many of my interests fall into the "nerd" category. Games (video and tabletop), anime, music, art, sci-fi and fantasy stuff of all varieties. I enjoy a lot of RPG's, and some of my favorite game series include kingdom hearts, fire emblem, dark souls, and a fair few others. Former high level league player who's currently retired.
Recently my friend got me into magic the gathering, although we've only been playing commander so far.
In general, I like to keep in shape, play games with friends, share music, watch tv/movies/anime (horror and psychological stuff especially), share memes, read, and do some amateur writing. I'm also rather intelligent/insightful, which I think you'll appreciate as you get to know me.
Personality: Generally cool headed, laid back, and kind. Introverted, but can be extroverted when I'm in my element and otherwise comfortable. Deceptively intelligent despite how incredibly basic my pictures look, but I also tend to be silly a lot so that's not easy to discern at first.
I’m also very reasonable, with a strong preference for peacefully resolving issues, so you can expect very little to no drama and good communication skills. One moral concept I'm quite fond is the law of equivalent exchange, so fairness and reciprocation is a big deal for me.
Fun facts: I have a deep and sexy voice which many people don't expect, and a great many people tell me I should get into radio or voice acting.
Sexual stuff
Are you fully sub or a switch?: Probably a strongly sub leaning switch, although I'm not terribly sure about the particular category I'd fit into. I find being the submissive (but reciprocal) partner to be most fulfilling by far.
Are you just sexually sub or enjoy nonsexual aspects as well?: I enjoy both sexual and nonsexual aspects, although my particular tastes might be unusual to those with harder femdom interests. I'm perfectly happy being your adoring subby boyfriend even in public, in case you're into PDA and flaunting that aspect of our relationship.
Sexual (and relationship) interests: I'm fairly new to a lot of things, so this isn't an exhaustive list. I'm very open minded and willing to try most things once, even if I think it wont work for me. I'm also more than happy to try and indulge your interests, so feel free to message me and talk to me about what you like too!
- Role reversal/gentle femdom are the big favorites! I enjoy having a partner that's assertive/aggressive/possessive in a romantic/sexual capacity. One who enjoys initiating intimacy and sex, and hugging/kissing/touching/groping me throughout the day for example.
- I'm perfectly happy with displays of affection and you taking the lead, whether that's holding me tightly in public and being a bit territorial, whispering in my ear that I belong to her and no one else, or proposing to me and putting a ring on my finger. I'd be quite happy with the prospect of being a house husband who handles the home stuff, and I can also make you a sandwich from time to time!
- Pegging, prostate massaging, and penis/prostate milking. Although my experience is a bit limited, I'm intensely curious about it.
- Continuing on the possessive aspect, it's really very flattering for me to see someone desire me so much and be possessive over me. I'm very happy to show my devotion even to the point of wearing a collar for you. So if you're a semi-yandere girl who enjoys that kind of dynamic, I think you'll like me a lot. Just make sure to treat me well!
- Play wrestling/fighting. Having you win and pin me down while kissing me is just ugh, incredibly hot.
- Kissing/licking/biting (both giving and receiving) are massive favorites. Lipstick marks and hickeys all over my body are a huge turn on, and definitely makes me feel like I belong to you. I'm very into the idea of putting my lips and tongue all over.
- Cuddling, being held, holding you, affection, spending time together, adoring you, seeing you be happy, sexually pleasing you. I love casual and emotional intimacy, and I'm extremely loyal and affectionate once I get attached to someone. You will be my favorite person ever and your happiness/enjoyment will always be as important as my own. I'll always be there to support you, and seeing that I made the difference for you is incredibly satisfying for me.
- Oh, and of course, the dirtiest, most vile, and disgusting fetish of all, handholding. I'm a sick bastard who tramples upon all that is good, I know.
Partner preferences: I'm a big fan of goth/alt/tomboy looks. Short hair is a very big plus, somewhere between pixie and neck length. Height difference (taller than me) is also a very big plus, as you may have guessed from my title. But these aren't explicitly dealbreakers! As long as I find you attractive then it works for me.
Dealbreakers/Requirements: Similar interests are a requirement for me. Being able to enjoy my favorite things with my favorite person is something I want dearly in a relationship. I do have a strong preference for body type that I unfortunately can't get past, being the thinner end of the spectrum when it comes to proportions/body fat. So basically slim/fit/lighter end of average. PLEASE DON'T BE A SOCIOPATH, OR ACT LIKE ONE.
2024.05.21 20:41 Imaginary-Goose5183 AITAH for being annoyed with my partner for copying all my interests??
I 24F and my partner 26M have been together 5 years this year. When we started dating he would “bully” me for all my hobbies and interests. For example…. I played Fortnite and Minecraft heavily when we met. He used to absolutely rip into me about it… I have always read smutty fantasy books or romance books that are more on the adult end. He used to be very snarky about them… I have loved anime since I was younger I used to be bullied at school for it and then he used to make very harsh comments about my love for it and called me names and would join his friends in bullying me for it too then play it off as a “joke”. And my taste in music is very eclectic from heavy metal and deathcore to musicians like anson seabra etc. he would call me names again and would intentionally turn my music off in the car etc and I’d be forced to listen to his music which was all very old school songs like streets of London etc. They weren’t bad but weren’t my taste. And there are more but I’ll spare you the rest of the list. He was obsessed with knives and guns, war history, violent books, and only really played racing games because he self admittedly wasn’t good at shooter games. Though they aren’t my taste when he’d talk about them I’d listen and be interested because they’re what he was interested in, but I never took over any of his interests.
Fast forward to the last few years and he started off small by invading my hobby of Minecraft and started playing it and decided he actually liked it. He made it his personality for around 8 months where he’d talk down to me about it when I’d talk to him about the game and would behave like he’s played the game since it was released and would try to “correct” me on things. Then it went onto Fortnite and the same thing happened. He played it once, decided he liked it then suddenly he was the god of Fortnite and Fortnite lore. The anime situation. He started off small with AOT and then suddenly he’s an anime lover and was bragging to the guys he works with that he’s a huge anime nerd and was making himself the office anime lore guy when he hated anime fans and used to bully me and others online for it.
Well it also happened with my music he’d start playing songs that he’d used to pick on me for and when I’d mention that he didn’t like that music he’d snap my head off and get nasty and try to claim he’d always listened to it. Well I voiced my issue not too long ago and it was met with defensiveness and arguing that I am not that special and unique and he can do what he wants. Which is fine he can. But I’ve slowly lost love for all the things I used to enjoy because I don’t have anything to myself anymore.
Well I made the mistake of talking to him about some of the books I’d been reading and he initially made his usual comments and wouldn’t listen to me when I’d talk or he shut me down. These last few months he’s started listening to the audio book versions of a handful of my favourite smut books and keeps talking down to me about them and keeps going on about them making them his whole personality again. He’s slowly killed me love for reading these books because he treats it like a race to finish them before I do when I talk about a new book and then spoils it for me or gets a god complex because he’s gone out of his way to look up the other books and spoil them for me too. It’s obsessive and is killing all of my hobbies slowly but surely. I haven’t impeded on any of his likes and interests because I know how important it is to have things that are sacred to you to escape to and enjoy. But I don’t anymore.
TLDR / AITAH for being annoyed with my partner for ruining all my hobbies and invading my personal space when it comes to things I enjoy.
submitted by Imaginary-Goose5183 to AITAH [link] [comments]
Fast forward to the last few years and he started off small by invading my hobby of Minecraft and started playing it and decided he actually liked it. He made it his personality for around 8 months where he’d talk down to me about it when I’d talk to him about the game and would behave like he’s played the game since it was released and would try to “correct” me on things. Then it went onto Fortnite and the same thing happened. He played it once, decided he liked it then suddenly he was the god of Fortnite and Fortnite lore. The anime situation. He started off small with AOT and then suddenly he’s an anime lover and was bragging to the guys he works with that he’s a huge anime nerd and was making himself the office anime lore guy when he hated anime fans and used to bully me and others online for it.
Well it also happened with my music he’d start playing songs that he’d used to pick on me for and when I’d mention that he didn’t like that music he’d snap my head off and get nasty and try to claim he’d always listened to it. Well I voiced my issue not too long ago and it was met with defensiveness and arguing that I am not that special and unique and he can do what he wants. Which is fine he can. But I’ve slowly lost love for all the things I used to enjoy because I don’t have anything to myself anymore.
Well I made the mistake of talking to him about some of the books I’d been reading and he initially made his usual comments and wouldn’t listen to me when I’d talk or he shut me down. These last few months he’s started listening to the audio book versions of a handful of my favourite smut books and keeps talking down to me about them and keeps going on about them making them his whole personality again. He’s slowly killed me love for reading these books because he treats it like a race to finish them before I do when I talk about a new book and then spoils it for me or gets a god complex because he’s gone out of his way to look up the other books and spoil them for me too. It’s obsessive and is killing all of my hobbies slowly but surely. I haven’t impeded on any of his likes and interests because I know how important it is to have things that are sacred to you to escape to and enjoy. But I don’t anymore.
TLDR / AITAH for being annoyed with my partner for ruining all my hobbies and invading my personal space when it comes to things I enjoy.
2024.05.21 20:40 kwil449 Forgiveness
I've been thinking about forgiveness for a long, long time.
I've come to realize, it's a more personal choice for your own wellbeing than anything. It doesn't mean you condone someone's actions. Just that you stop feeling angry and resentful for them.
I do not believe it was right for you to speak to me on a dating app for six months, and in the end, reject me for three reasons you could have found out either by asking, or by looking at my responses to the OkCupid questions. Because I'm difficult to talk to. Because I'm not close with my family. Because I haven't dated before. All of these were in my profile. Dragging things out only leads to heartbreak.
I don't believe you should have waited so long to meet in person. I asked you on a date a month after talking. At first, you lied to me by saying you were busy, and when I asked about your schedule, you told the truth that you weren't ready. I was more patient with you than any self respecting man should be.
I believe you should have started more conversations. I've spoken to several autistic girls. They might eventually ghost me, but they put in the effort to keep a conversation going. It was unfair of you to put that weight entirely on me, and then judge me for being hard to talk to. Letting me message you, responding a couple times, then going silent for a week, isn't something that anyone else has thought it was okay to do. I can't build to bigger, more interesting conversations if you don't respond.
I believe you should have been on time for VC where we talked about OkCupid questions. You told your friends that we didn't have a scheduled time, but that was a lie. You knew about the time we set, because you messaged me at exactly 7, saying that you're going to be late because you're playing Zelda. Again, something that no self respecting man should have had to deal with.
I believe that you should have told me about the lewds early on. You told your friends that I implied that you have to do it "immediately", but that's another lie. I said well before six months. This is important information in dating, as important as any of the other basic information on a dating profile. My reaction to it was fine. I said that it hurt me to see, but I did not ask you to stop. I set my boundary that I just didn't want you to do anything too explicit. That should have been the end of the conversation.
I did not do anything wrong by asking for another chance. And your response of insulting me before blocking me without so much as a conversation was entirely inappropriate. I am more than capable of staying friends with someone I have feelings for. And I have more experience than you in handling it from the other end in a healthy way. Instead, you felt the need to scar me.
I've done my apologizing for my actions after that. I've suffered enough from the guilt and shame. And I'm finally ready to forgive myself. Even if I don't condone your actions... I think I'm ready to forgive you too. I sincerely hope that you can reflect on the things I've mentioned here and build a healthy relationship with someone moving forward. But this post is for me. I hope that with it, I can let go of my resentment and finally start to heal. As always, I wish you the best.
submitted by kwil449 to u/kwil449 [link] [comments]
I've come to realize, it's a more personal choice for your own wellbeing than anything. It doesn't mean you condone someone's actions. Just that you stop feeling angry and resentful for them.
I do not believe it was right for you to speak to me on a dating app for six months, and in the end, reject me for three reasons you could have found out either by asking, or by looking at my responses to the OkCupid questions. Because I'm difficult to talk to. Because I'm not close with my family. Because I haven't dated before. All of these were in my profile. Dragging things out only leads to heartbreak.
I don't believe you should have waited so long to meet in person. I asked you on a date a month after talking. At first, you lied to me by saying you were busy, and when I asked about your schedule, you told the truth that you weren't ready. I was more patient with you than any self respecting man should be.
I believe you should have started more conversations. I've spoken to several autistic girls. They might eventually ghost me, but they put in the effort to keep a conversation going. It was unfair of you to put that weight entirely on me, and then judge me for being hard to talk to. Letting me message you, responding a couple times, then going silent for a week, isn't something that anyone else has thought it was okay to do. I can't build to bigger, more interesting conversations if you don't respond.
I believe you should have been on time for VC where we talked about OkCupid questions. You told your friends that we didn't have a scheduled time, but that was a lie. You knew about the time we set, because you messaged me at exactly 7, saying that you're going to be late because you're playing Zelda. Again, something that no self respecting man should have had to deal with.
I believe that you should have told me about the lewds early on. You told your friends that I implied that you have to do it "immediately", but that's another lie. I said well before six months. This is important information in dating, as important as any of the other basic information on a dating profile. My reaction to it was fine. I said that it hurt me to see, but I did not ask you to stop. I set my boundary that I just didn't want you to do anything too explicit. That should have been the end of the conversation.
I did not do anything wrong by asking for another chance. And your response of insulting me before blocking me without so much as a conversation was entirely inappropriate. I am more than capable of staying friends with someone I have feelings for. And I have more experience than you in handling it from the other end in a healthy way. Instead, you felt the need to scar me.
I've done my apologizing for my actions after that. I've suffered enough from the guilt and shame. And I'm finally ready to forgive myself. Even if I don't condone your actions... I think I'm ready to forgive you too. I sincerely hope that you can reflect on the things I've mentioned here and build a healthy relationship with someone moving forward. But this post is for me. I hope that with it, I can let go of my resentment and finally start to heal. As always, I wish you the best.
2024.05.21 20:40 Electronic-Elk5686 Cheating Spouse
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2024.05.21 20:40 AdventurousApple5023 Two faced “friends” stab me in the back / boyfriend drama
Hi so I’m not sure where to start I am 18 and in my last year of Highschool. I have been talking to a guy, let’s call him Thomas also 18, since last August. We started texting every day, hours at a time, I personally thought that we got very close since we shared quite a lot of personal stuff from family dynamics to our deepest thoughts. Because a big part of this time was during our prelim and exam phase we didn’t see each other in person. In the start of November he suddenly stopped texting and I didn’t hear anything from him anymore. I was actually really worried that something happens since he was on a farm during that time. Turns out he just ignored me that stung. I am a person that does everything very head on so I absolutely confronted him end of November after exams and right before the holidays. He looked and me like he wasn’t sure what to say and answered with I’m so sorry my mama didn’t raise me like this I’m so sorry but it’s some personal reasons. Personally I thought that that’s a stupid response but fair enough. During the holidays I visited a friend overseas. We had fun going to parties having fun with guys, some of her friends, spend doing fun stuff like skiing and spending time together she really helped me get over Thomas. So fast forward to march. A friend invited me to her birthday and we somehow got on the topic of crushes/ boyfriends. We are 6 girls and since we all are in about the same classes we knew each other quite well. Let’s cal one of the girls Mary, Mary was right before the birthday party on a date with a friend of mine let’s call him Matt. Matt just joined us during this school year and I kinda included in my friend group( 4 guys plus me) and since he was a nerd and most of my friends where it fit amazing. I talked a lot with Matt and we got close but just as friends. So Mary tells the whole table that she knows who my crush is. I thought she is talking about Thomas and was like was I that obvious. She responded with is it Matt. I answer with a hell no. She is taken aback and no everyone is looking at me like who is it. Since I still have a crush on Thomas even after last year I say well it’s Thomas. Immediately everyone is like aww you would be such a sweet couple and are you talking. I share the general details as in this post and with that I thought it was done. Nope. Mary’s best friend Theresa even pushed me to start talking to him again as well as Mary throughout the whole evening. This was on a Friday, that same weekend I get absolutely drunk and drunk call Thomas. He picks up “hi are you ok I’m at a family dinner is everything ok or can I call you back later” me even surprised that he picked up explained him that I was drunk and that I’m so sorry. He’s absolutely fine with it and since then we have been texting every day and again for hours. So during the time from march till now every time i got close to Matt ( just as friend) Mary has been asking me how things with Thomas are if I’ve been texting with him telling me that I should just go with him for coffee, you get the point. Fast forward to yesterday. Another friend at that parity let’s call her Daphne came to me and asked me what i knew about Theresa. I was like “ nothing why” turns out that Theresa has been texting Thomas since start of January, meanwhile telling me to be brave and put myself out there. Daphne told me because she was close friends with Theresa till on Monday when Daphne texted Thomas( as friends) and Theresa saw the name and took the phone out of her hands. Apparently there was a whole argument between them and Daphne realised what had happened and what Theresa did. Daphne when to me and spilled the beans. There is a little bit more drama involving Thomas Theresa me and another girl regarding prom but that is less important. I’m sorry it got so long. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I feel like I’m in a game of cat and mouse, and I’m the mouse. I was completely shocked when I found out and can’t honestly wrap my head around. I hope someone has advice for me who I should confront or what I should do in general.
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2024.05.21 20:40 CDown01 J.'s Journals: The Lieutenant
Previous Entry
Writing these things has made me realize how different I sound these days. Back when all this started I’m not sure I even spoke English and I certainly didn’t speak like I do now but to be honest, I don’t remember. Trying to recall things to write has made me realize exactly how many little things I’ve forgotten over the years. The sights, the sounds, all those fade into the background of most events.
Even something as visceral as Archer’s basement still takes me a while to recall clearly. I wonder if it’s more than just my long life, we do age after all. I mentioned before that sunlight is not deadly to vampires like myself but very unpleasant, that and it makes us more normal. In the sun I won’t be as strong as I would be in the dark and by my assessment I age in the sun as well. Not any faster than a normal person but I do age, its why I don’t still look like that little boy stuck in Paris anymore.
I did spend quite some time in Paris before I left or rather, escaped. I’m not sure I ever would have left if not for the war. I didn’t have many friends there save for other… I’m not sure what to call them… entities? Whatever you want to cal it I had some friends in the more supernatural parts of the city. A vampire named Belle had become a sort of mother figure to me over the years spent there.
I met her by chance one night as I sated myself in an alley. I was ready to fight but she just laughed and flashed her own fangs at me, ridiculing me for being so careless. It was under her wing where I learned everything I know now about vampires. It’s where I realized not all vampires endure sunlight as well as I do, if anything that one trait is what’s most unique about me according to her. But thats not the story I want to tell on these pages tonight. I want to tell the story of lieutenant Marsh and the real beginnings of the organization that would become Chimera.
When war came to Paris that summer I was unprepared. I never expected the war to spiral out of hand so quickly or for it to force me out of my home. I was with Belle and a few more of her friends whose names escape me waiting out the worst of it and hoping things would blow over in the city soon. Obviously we were completely misguided, it was that sense of invulnerability again just the same as when I was a boy. The world was our playground and nothing could hurt us. It didn’t help that in some ways I really was invulnerable and it went straight to my head.
Only flashes of my memory from that day remain. I remember the nazi soldier kicking in the door and firing at Belle’s friends. I remember the screaming that abruptly ended in a single gunshot. I remember the trail of blood leading to her friends body where it lay staked to the ground in the sun. We heal fast, not instantly but much faster than a human. Put us in sunlight though, and we’re just as fragile as a normal person. It was the first time I’d seen someone with abilities like ours die and it made me feel mortal again for the first time in decades.
The rest of the day is a disjointed blur. Belle and I fled the city, I blank out on the specifics of it but we made it out with some difficulty. After that we hunkered down for the night in a rickety old shack. I remember wanting to push on through the day but Belle protested, she didn’t deal with the sun as well as I did. When night finally fell we fled to the coast and managed to catch a ship heading towards the United States.
The trip was unpleasant to say the least, neither of us made good stowaways. We weren’t living life in the lap of luxury before by any means but we lived comfortably. This was a far cry from what we were used to in Paris and the welcome we received was even worse. Apparently fleeing for your own survival is a crime, both of us were separated and sent to prison on our arrival to the states for stowing away on the ship.
That was the last time I ever saw Belle, I get letters from her every now and then but I haven’t seen her in person since. She does well for herself, works in D.C. as a sort of handler for the supernatural. Regrettably she does work with Chimera, says they have the best interests at heart for the supernatural but she doesn’t see what I see out here. She doesn’t know the part I played in its creation, what it really stood for in the beginning. Chimera tends to kill first these days rather than actually try to help or give the supernatural some kind of place in the world. I think thats why I haven’t been to visit her, I just don’t want to argue with a friend as old as her. Funnily enough I don’t think anyone knows she’s a vampire. I doubt they’d take that very well, she’d probably lose her position. They must have suspicions though because theres no way she’d be able to get letters to me without Baelen knowing about it. Every few months they keep showing up though and I always make sure to write her back.
Anyways I’m getting off topic, back to my story. I was in prison for months until an offer came my way, serve the rest of my sentence or enlist in the army and be a free man when I came back, if I came back. Of course I took the offer, I didn’t realize how suspicious that deal sounded at the time but it actually played out exactly as they said. I also didn’t have much of a choice in the matter either. It was hard to get my hands on any blood when I was almost constantly under watch and I could feel the effects it was having on me. I figured it would be best to get a change of scenery.
The next week I was off to training then not long after, we shipped out to the trenches and met the commander of the platoon I’d been assigned to. That’s the first time I met Lieutenant Johnson Marsh and what a man he was. That first day I was convinced I’d never see a smile ever again, the trenches were a horrible depressing place. But there Marsh was, laughing and smiling and just generally enjoying life with the rest of the platoon. He was either crazy or stupid, thats what my first thoughts about him were. I remember those clearly even today but I couldn’t have been more wrong. If anything he may have turned out to be one of the smartest men I ever knew.
The first few weeks were spent holding our position from the germans. It was brutal but I found I was a decent shot with the rifle I was given. Marsh on the other hand spent those weeks barking orders at us and keeping us in line. He never used a rifle like most of the soldiers used. Instead he kept a Beretta m9 with him at all times. That weapon was the only one I ever saw him use. I remember the name only because he was so found of explaining everything there was to know about the gun to me whenever I questioned him about it. You could immediately recognize the pistol as his by its strange grip. One side of it had a picture of an idyllic scene of a manor house in the middle of a sprawling field. The other had a painting of a woman, his wife I’d guess but he never actually told me if that was there case. He seemed to spend the nights staring with longing at each side of the artistic grip.
I’d never really had a family, even with Belle I’d always felt like I was a bit of an outsider. There was so much I didn’t know about how normal people lived. Even though I’d had friends in Paris we were always kind of hidden away in our own personal corner. There was this separation between us and normal life, even between the other supernaturals in the area.
Here I felt like I was part of something though. Sure I was still lost but so was everyone else, we could be lost together and Marsh would always set us straight in the end. There was something about the man, some piece of him that just understood what we were all going through. He expected a lot from us but he was never unreasonable and several times even argued with command on our behalf when ridiculous orders came our way. I actually wanted to serve with him. The rest of the platoon wasn’t bad but they’d all been given the same deal as me. They were all just there to get out of prison. I’m still not sure what Marsh’s story was, he always kept that to himself but any of us would’ve taken a bullet for that man.
Our first real assignment came maybe three months into my period of indentured service. Our platoon was tasked with rescuing a captured American scientist and capturing a German scientist. The scientists in question were Frank Smith and Stein Hoffman and no, the irony of those names is not lost on me, fits the two of them though. I’m sure doctor Frankenstein wishes he was successful as those two. But before those orders could be acted on we had to overtake a German trench surrounding the compound they were staying in.
That fight was bloody and we lost several good men in the chaos. At one point a trench gun was shoved into my arms and I launched myself into the German trench. I wouldn’t be surprised if ghost stories are still passed around of what I did that day. After I made my way over and into the German trench I lashed out with all I had. Moving with superhuman speed and lashing out with both the bayonet affixed to my gun and my fangs, I fell upon the Germans. They stood little chance as I tore into them and all by my lonesome I ensured we’d face no more resistance.
Marsh was the first over into the now silent trench, I’m glad it was him because I’m not sure anyone else would’ve understood like him. I was holding the German officer to the trench wall, fangs buried in his neck as I fed when I heard footsteps behind me. I dropped him and turned to see Marsh staring questioningly at me. I must’ve been a sight to see, blood dripping from my mouth and covering my bullet torn uniform. Marsh steadied himself for a moment and shouted back to the rest of the platoon,
“Boys hold up a second! Just get down and stay up there a minute won’tcha!”
All of a sudden he took a step forward and a well mannered grin took its usual place on his lips.
“Though You didn’t care for sauerkraut J.?”
The joke stunned me, I fully expected him to shoot me then and there, put me down like the abomination I must’ve looked like to him.
“Lieutenant I…”
But Marsh raised his hands to cut me off.
“Command’d probably want me to shoot’cha, hell maybe I aught’a but I don’t think it’d be right. You seem decent, little odd sure but you’ve got heart, I see it in the way you look out for the boys. Plus I always figured there was some’n off about you. The way you stay out’a the light always seem a little faster and stronger than anyone got the right to be just didn’t figure it’d be…. That.”
Marsh told me pointing to the punctures in the officers neck.
“Thank you lieutenant, Could we keep this between us though sir?”
“Drop the formalities J. Jesus! We’re all friends here.”
“I just don’t want the others to know, they may not be as understanding as you.”
“No can do, but you can tell em’ yourself. Alright men, get on down here!”
In all my years I’d never had to explain myself to anyone up until that point. I guess that day my number was up but I never knew just how understanding people, normal people could be. I’d always lived around the supernatural in Paris, didn’t interact much with the normal people I saw in the streets every day, I didn’t have to. I’d always assumed there was a reason for that but in the moment I realized there wasn’t, not really. I’d just avoided normal people because I feared what they’d think if it came out that I wasn’t like them.
Of course There were some of the men that objected to… what I was. Most of them took after Marsh though. They didn’t really care what I was, I’d proven to them I was a good person and thats all that mattered. I just wish they’d been right about me back then because the truth was I still hadn’t learned to care, not really. Even the ones who objected came around eventually and that night Marsh finally came clean to me about why exactly he was so accepting.
According to him he’d always assumed there was more out there, things beyond human that lived on the fringes of society. Even he always thought he sounded crazy. I was the proof he needed to convince himself he wasn’t. Marsh also told me what we were really doing with the scientists. Both Frank and Stein researched the supernatural, their projects were as secret as secret could be. Marsh’s interests and theories, as personal as he tried to keep them showed up in his file somewhere. The higher ups had handpicked him for this mission because of it. The official story was that Frank had been captured but in reality he defected to further his own research with a like minded individual. Our mission was really to force Frank back into the fold and take Stein along with him.
The more he talked the more I could tell his heart was fully committed to this mission and the final assault tomorrow. I’d never seen someone so… alive. In my extremely long life I don’t think Id ever felt that kind of conviction myself. So I promised him I’d have his back tomorrow no matter what.
Morning broke and with it our assault began. Intel on the German defenses was shoddy at best but we never expected what we’d actually run into. At least three times our number acted as guards so a distraction was in order to give us a window of entry. A few of the men would handle the distraction “however they saw fit” to quote Marsh. Then Marsh and I would make our way into the compound itself and the rest of the platoon would cover us.
For what its worth most of the plan went off without a hitch. A tremendous explosion signaled Marsh and I to press the advantage and rush the confused soldiers that lay in front of us. Some actually turned and ran from me, apparently word of my stunt in the trenches yesterday had spread quickly. The rest of the platoon followed behind us but then our luck ran out with the roar of an engine.
An honest to god panzer tank rolled out of a tunnel we hadn’t seen that ran under the compound and turned its barrel towards us. I almost didn’t hear the blast from how slow time seemed to move. But move it did as the explosion of the shell’s impact scattered bodies left and right. The shell impacted behind us but the sheer force of the blast threw Marsh and I to the ground, knocking us unconscious.
When I slowly came to my eyes couldn’t believe what I was seeing. A man dressed in red priestly robes with a matching red top hat was walking between the bodies. When he approached one that groaned out with agony he’d kneel down and whisper things I couldn’t hear to them, after that he’d snap his fingers. sometimes the person he was talking with would disappear other times they would fall silent and sometimes it didn’t appear that anything happened at all.
Just the sight of the man terrified me and I wasn’t sure why. It was an instinctual reaction, the second I lay eyes on him I froze up and ice cold fear crept its way up my spine. When people accuse me of being the devil this man is who I think of. Even today I’m not sure what it is he does or why. What I do know is that he never looks the same. I’ve seen him appear as male, female, even as an animal on a few occasions but I can always tell. The second I’m near him no matter what he looks like the same old feeling comes over me.
Once my vision had finally focused in on the man he seemed to notice without ever looking at me. I blinked and suddenly he was there, kneeling over me.
“Would you like to live.”
He rasped down at me with a voice that seemed to boom around me no matter how quiet it must’ve actually been. I felt like a child again, staring at Archer for the first time. I’d never really had to fear death before but here I was, sure I was about to meet my end right here. In all honestly I wasn’t injured all that bad, I probably could’ve survived with or without this man help. But something told me that if I said no he’d make sure I would die right here.
“Ye…y… yes”
I stuttered out, barley able to form the words through the pain that stabbed throughout my body.
“You will be my instrument for one night at a time of me choosing.”
The man replied. I stayed silent as I stared into his eyes, trying to determine if the sunglasses he wore were tinted or if his eyes really did burn with an infernal red light. The man cocked his head as if waiting for a response to his question. I’m not sure if question was the right word though, there wasn’t much of a choice for me.
Looking back there was always a choice, maybe I could’ve survived on my own merits, found another way. In the years to come I’d wish I just said no, even if it would’ve cost me my life. But thats not what happened. I nodded and the deal maker snapped his fingers. As soon as he had dark clouds flooded the sky and blocked out the sun, allowing my body to begin repairing itself. The man moved on to where Marsh’s body lay and probably made him the same deal as I felt my body healing. Despite that, my consciousness faded again as I strained to try and hear what the man would say to Marsh.
We never actually discussed the man at all. Not then and not in the years since. Maybe that was all an unspoken part of Marsh’s deal. Maybe both of us just wished that man was nothing more than a waking dream, a vivid hallucination. Whatever the case neither of us ever mentioned that man to each other.
The next time I woke up I was chained to a table next to Marsh. We had been captured and brought before the very scientists we were here to apprehend. There were guards around but they all seemed to be waiting for some kind of order. I was certainly surprised when that order came in perfect English, even more surprised when the order was to let us down so we could talk.
Frank and Stein ended up being quite reasonable people. The two let us stay in relative comfort in the compound as long as we agreed to stay and leave them to their work. That was all the convincing it took for me. I understand that the men I’d served with were all dead and that these two were in some way responsible. Maybe that should’ve bothered me more, today it certainly would’ve. Back then I didn’t think the same way, they accepted me for what I was but only briefly, only out of respect for Marsh. What did the lives of people I’d known for so short a time really matter? Writing this now just makes me realize how cold I was before, I didn’t care for anything beyond myself. I’d made no efforts to find Belle since we were separated and how long had I known her, 100 years, more? I may have pretended I cared but when push came to shove I simply tried to make sure I survived.
Marsh wasn’t as cold as me, in fact he almost immediately reached for where his pistol should’ve been when he was unchained. It took Frank, Stein, and myself weeks to convince him that helping would be the right decision. He didn’t like it at first but little by little I think the scientists grew on him. The guards I’d seen our first day here seemed to thin out the longer we stayed. Wether that was a gesture of trust or simply because they were needed for more important duties I don’t know but it certainly eased Marsh’s mind.
I merely observed the scientists most of the time until Stein asked me for a sample of my blood. It didn’t surprise me that he knew what I was but for obvious reasons I was hesitant to give it to him, especially considering what I’d seen so called doctors do with vampire blood. Eventually he wore me down and I gave let him take a sample just to shut him up. After that I became more involved in their research though not by choice. They had me showcasing my abilities and tested the effects of sunlight on my blood. On a few rare occasions Stein even injected it into other prisoners that were brought in, something I put a stop to very quickly. T
hat sample of blood is why Frank and Stein are still around today. Somehow they managed to isolate whatever part of my DNA allows me to age so much slower than a normal person. They took that and spliced it into their own DNA against my recommendations. The crazy thing was it actually worked. Sure they had a newfound appreciation for rare steaks but beyond that I didn’t notice any of the effects that combining vampire DNA with your own would usually have.
As Marsh and I assisted the scientist’s research however we could we both came to the realization that they needed each other to function. Stein lacked a moral compass and was prone to suggest unethical or risky procedures, sometimes going so far as to carry them out without informing Frank. Frank on the other hand preferred caution in everything he did and sometimes I noticed him personally taking and shredding requests Stein had written for test subjects, hazardous materials, or samples from supernatural entities. The two kept a very delicate dance of checks and balances. Stein ever the daring mad scientist and Frank always playing the role of overly cautious genius.
Marsh and Frank got along extremely well near the end. The two would be up at all hours of the night as Frank explained what kind of things really existed in the world. Marsh always shared these ideas of a world where the supernatural and the normal could live together and I think Frank shared that vision. It wasn’t possible, still isn’t but treating the supernatural as something other than monsters couldn’t possibly be a bad thing. I think thats where the idea of the Bureau of Supernatural Affairs really came from, those talks Marsh had with anyone who would listen.
Overtime one of our favorite conversations was what we would do when the war was over and we could leave this compound. Stein wasn’t sure he would, if his research wasn’t going to a man who’d simply use it to cause more conflict he wouldn’t mind staying. Frank wanted to return home, if that was even possible and he asked if Stein would join him. Those two had also become close friends through our months in the lab. That checks and balances relationship they had made them basically inseparable. Marsh’s answer surprised me though, he said he wanted to get out of the military and start a program, something to help the supernatural live closer to normal lives. At least keep tabs on them so that the quality of their lives might improve. I was stunned, I couldn’t believe he’d throw his career away just to chase this pipe dream of his. I didn’t even know Marsh was concerned with that kind of thing. I didn’t have an answer of my own so I said I’d join Marsh and help with this program idea of his. Actually, even Frank and Stein seemed to agree with Marsh’s way of thinking. Little did we know the war would end less than a month after our talk and we’d all get the chance to actually put Marsh’s little idea to the test.
Once the Americans had come and discovered the compound pretty much abandoned aside from us we were all taken prisoner and shipped back to America. We were all interrogated and they either heard what they wanted to hear, or decided anyone we’d talk to about our experiences would assume we were just crazy. We were released back into society under constant surveillance. They even gave us a sizable home in D.C., it was certainly bugged to its core but thats exactly what we wanted.
Through the next year we used Frank and Steins knowledge and my supernatural nature to track down entities all over the country. We made sure that everything was discussed and planned out in the house. That way however was listening knew exactly what we were doing and how successful it was. It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows though, some entities would rather we didn’t know about them. Others were naturally aggressive but some we were actually able to help.
Our escapades as a group of four didn’t last much past the first year. Mostly because our master plan of using the bugs worked perfectly. Ol’ uncle Sam had been listening in and wanted his chance at calling the shots but it meant we became a legitimate organization, the BSA. Technically the acronym was already taken but no one ever complained and Marsh never came up with anything better.
We spent 4 years doing everything we could to improve the lives of supernatural beings everywhere. Not every one of our endeavors was a success but we did some good in the world. One such project was blood banks for vampires. While the blood that gets donated is used for transfusions and the like some was put into cold storage for the BSA. That got distributed to vampires who had come to an agreement with us to stop hunting humans for blood. Some vampires were even selected for jobs at these blood banks, under the supervision of BSA agents of course.
The more human supernaturals like werewolves, vampires, and succubi even used us to find jobs in the world. We made in roads for the supernatural in daily life because of it. Werewolves would use their strength for government construction. Vampire’s long lives made them excellent archivists or history teachers because they actually been there for those events. A succubus’s ability to understand and control someones emotions and reactions made them excellent therapists and conflict deescalation specialists. Those are just some of the fields we managed to get the supernatural involved in. While they usually had to hide their natural they were wildly successful.
Everything went well until that fourth year when I first met Baelen. He was headstrong from the beginning, the powers that be were grooming him for leadership. He was everything they wanted, he followed orders and didn’t question things to much. In short, he was the perfect solution to the inconvenience the four of us caused running the organization as we saw fit. But baleen had a mean streak, he didn’t want to protect the supernatural so much as he wanted to put them in their place. Unfortunately a lot of the research we provided had scared pretty much everyone above us who had never even entertained the idea of the supernatural until now. That meant Baelen’s ideas of monitoring and segregating the supernatural population were popular. So popular that suggesting culling their numbers to keep them in check and under the thumb of the BSA was an idea they actually entertained. That sentiment caught on and our orders became more and more militant.
Every time we disregarded them to do things the way we had envisioned the consequence grew steeper. Eventually Frank, Stein, Marsh, and I just couldn’t stand to see what our BSA had become so we left. We couldn’t do anything else to stop what was coming from the inside, no point in going down with the ship.
After that Baelen quickly ended up heading the whole operation. He still took orders directly from government officials and when the BSA became part of homeland security it became Chimera division. Why they chose such a stupid name I’ll never know but the organization was a shadow of its former self. Before we looked out for the supernatural, tried to help. Under Baelen Chimera just exists to monitor the supernatural and “correct” any issues uncle Sam decides to have with them. They’re glorified enforcers that don’t give a damn how the supernatural actually have it. That’s not to say some good people don’t work for them, people like Belle and even Marsh’s own daughter as far as I’m aware.
It sickens me to think I was a part of it though, for all the good we did maybe it would’ve been better if Johnson Marsh’s pipe dream would’ve stayed just that. I can do a lot but I can’t change the past so I guess we’ll never know. A while ago I heard that something had happened in a little nowhere town out in New Mexico. Pretty much dropped off the face of the Earth. The only reason I even heard about it was through Belle’s letters. Apparently Chimera had to do some huge cover up job and decided it was better if the town just never existed. Maybe I should go myself and see if I can’t piece what happened together. Could be that someone else out there has it in for Chimera and is a whole lot more direct about it than me. I’m just imaging it was some runaway experiment Frank and Stein got up to. I wonder where those two ended up, I’ll have to check up on them sometime. This journal writing is digging up a lot of memories for me but thats probably a good thing. Write them down before I forget again. I think that’ll be all for today then, why do I keep addressing these like someone’s reading them? Not much point to that is there?
submitted by CDown01 to DrCreepensVault [link] [comments]
Writing these things has made me realize how different I sound these days. Back when all this started I’m not sure I even spoke English and I certainly didn’t speak like I do now but to be honest, I don’t remember. Trying to recall things to write has made me realize exactly how many little things I’ve forgotten over the years. The sights, the sounds, all those fade into the background of most events.
Even something as visceral as Archer’s basement still takes me a while to recall clearly. I wonder if it’s more than just my long life, we do age after all. I mentioned before that sunlight is not deadly to vampires like myself but very unpleasant, that and it makes us more normal. In the sun I won’t be as strong as I would be in the dark and by my assessment I age in the sun as well. Not any faster than a normal person but I do age, its why I don’t still look like that little boy stuck in Paris anymore.
I did spend quite some time in Paris before I left or rather, escaped. I’m not sure I ever would have left if not for the war. I didn’t have many friends there save for other… I’m not sure what to call them… entities? Whatever you want to cal it I had some friends in the more supernatural parts of the city. A vampire named Belle had become a sort of mother figure to me over the years spent there.
I met her by chance one night as I sated myself in an alley. I was ready to fight but she just laughed and flashed her own fangs at me, ridiculing me for being so careless. It was under her wing where I learned everything I know now about vampires. It’s where I realized not all vampires endure sunlight as well as I do, if anything that one trait is what’s most unique about me according to her. But thats not the story I want to tell on these pages tonight. I want to tell the story of lieutenant Marsh and the real beginnings of the organization that would become Chimera.
When war came to Paris that summer I was unprepared. I never expected the war to spiral out of hand so quickly or for it to force me out of my home. I was with Belle and a few more of her friends whose names escape me waiting out the worst of it and hoping things would blow over in the city soon. Obviously we were completely misguided, it was that sense of invulnerability again just the same as when I was a boy. The world was our playground and nothing could hurt us. It didn’t help that in some ways I really was invulnerable and it went straight to my head.
Only flashes of my memory from that day remain. I remember the nazi soldier kicking in the door and firing at Belle’s friends. I remember the screaming that abruptly ended in a single gunshot. I remember the trail of blood leading to her friends body where it lay staked to the ground in the sun. We heal fast, not instantly but much faster than a human. Put us in sunlight though, and we’re just as fragile as a normal person. It was the first time I’d seen someone with abilities like ours die and it made me feel mortal again for the first time in decades.
The rest of the day is a disjointed blur. Belle and I fled the city, I blank out on the specifics of it but we made it out with some difficulty. After that we hunkered down for the night in a rickety old shack. I remember wanting to push on through the day but Belle protested, she didn’t deal with the sun as well as I did. When night finally fell we fled to the coast and managed to catch a ship heading towards the United States.
The trip was unpleasant to say the least, neither of us made good stowaways. We weren’t living life in the lap of luxury before by any means but we lived comfortably. This was a far cry from what we were used to in Paris and the welcome we received was even worse. Apparently fleeing for your own survival is a crime, both of us were separated and sent to prison on our arrival to the states for stowing away on the ship.
That was the last time I ever saw Belle, I get letters from her every now and then but I haven’t seen her in person since. She does well for herself, works in D.C. as a sort of handler for the supernatural. Regrettably she does work with Chimera, says they have the best interests at heart for the supernatural but she doesn’t see what I see out here. She doesn’t know the part I played in its creation, what it really stood for in the beginning. Chimera tends to kill first these days rather than actually try to help or give the supernatural some kind of place in the world. I think thats why I haven’t been to visit her, I just don’t want to argue with a friend as old as her. Funnily enough I don’t think anyone knows she’s a vampire. I doubt they’d take that very well, she’d probably lose her position. They must have suspicions though because theres no way she’d be able to get letters to me without Baelen knowing about it. Every few months they keep showing up though and I always make sure to write her back.
Anyways I’m getting off topic, back to my story. I was in prison for months until an offer came my way, serve the rest of my sentence or enlist in the army and be a free man when I came back, if I came back. Of course I took the offer, I didn’t realize how suspicious that deal sounded at the time but it actually played out exactly as they said. I also didn’t have much of a choice in the matter either. It was hard to get my hands on any blood when I was almost constantly under watch and I could feel the effects it was having on me. I figured it would be best to get a change of scenery.
The next week I was off to training then not long after, we shipped out to the trenches and met the commander of the platoon I’d been assigned to. That’s the first time I met Lieutenant Johnson Marsh and what a man he was. That first day I was convinced I’d never see a smile ever again, the trenches were a horrible depressing place. But there Marsh was, laughing and smiling and just generally enjoying life with the rest of the platoon. He was either crazy or stupid, thats what my first thoughts about him were. I remember those clearly even today but I couldn’t have been more wrong. If anything he may have turned out to be one of the smartest men I ever knew.
The first few weeks were spent holding our position from the germans. It was brutal but I found I was a decent shot with the rifle I was given. Marsh on the other hand spent those weeks barking orders at us and keeping us in line. He never used a rifle like most of the soldiers used. Instead he kept a Beretta m9 with him at all times. That weapon was the only one I ever saw him use. I remember the name only because he was so found of explaining everything there was to know about the gun to me whenever I questioned him about it. You could immediately recognize the pistol as his by its strange grip. One side of it had a picture of an idyllic scene of a manor house in the middle of a sprawling field. The other had a painting of a woman, his wife I’d guess but he never actually told me if that was there case. He seemed to spend the nights staring with longing at each side of the artistic grip.
I’d never really had a family, even with Belle I’d always felt like I was a bit of an outsider. There was so much I didn’t know about how normal people lived. Even though I’d had friends in Paris we were always kind of hidden away in our own personal corner. There was this separation between us and normal life, even between the other supernaturals in the area.
Here I felt like I was part of something though. Sure I was still lost but so was everyone else, we could be lost together and Marsh would always set us straight in the end. There was something about the man, some piece of him that just understood what we were all going through. He expected a lot from us but he was never unreasonable and several times even argued with command on our behalf when ridiculous orders came our way. I actually wanted to serve with him. The rest of the platoon wasn’t bad but they’d all been given the same deal as me. They were all just there to get out of prison. I’m still not sure what Marsh’s story was, he always kept that to himself but any of us would’ve taken a bullet for that man.
Our first real assignment came maybe three months into my period of indentured service. Our platoon was tasked with rescuing a captured American scientist and capturing a German scientist. The scientists in question were Frank Smith and Stein Hoffman and no, the irony of those names is not lost on me, fits the two of them though. I’m sure doctor Frankenstein wishes he was successful as those two. But before those orders could be acted on we had to overtake a German trench surrounding the compound they were staying in.
That fight was bloody and we lost several good men in the chaos. At one point a trench gun was shoved into my arms and I launched myself into the German trench. I wouldn’t be surprised if ghost stories are still passed around of what I did that day. After I made my way over and into the German trench I lashed out with all I had. Moving with superhuman speed and lashing out with both the bayonet affixed to my gun and my fangs, I fell upon the Germans. They stood little chance as I tore into them and all by my lonesome I ensured we’d face no more resistance.
Marsh was the first over into the now silent trench, I’m glad it was him because I’m not sure anyone else would’ve understood like him. I was holding the German officer to the trench wall, fangs buried in his neck as I fed when I heard footsteps behind me. I dropped him and turned to see Marsh staring questioningly at me. I must’ve been a sight to see, blood dripping from my mouth and covering my bullet torn uniform. Marsh steadied himself for a moment and shouted back to the rest of the platoon,
“Boys hold up a second! Just get down and stay up there a minute won’tcha!”
All of a sudden he took a step forward and a well mannered grin took its usual place on his lips.
“Though You didn’t care for sauerkraut J.?”
The joke stunned me, I fully expected him to shoot me then and there, put me down like the abomination I must’ve looked like to him.
“Lieutenant I…”
But Marsh raised his hands to cut me off.
“Command’d probably want me to shoot’cha, hell maybe I aught’a but I don’t think it’d be right. You seem decent, little odd sure but you’ve got heart, I see it in the way you look out for the boys. Plus I always figured there was some’n off about you. The way you stay out’a the light always seem a little faster and stronger than anyone got the right to be just didn’t figure it’d be…. That.”
Marsh told me pointing to the punctures in the officers neck.
“Thank you lieutenant, Could we keep this between us though sir?”
“Drop the formalities J. Jesus! We’re all friends here.”
“I just don’t want the others to know, they may not be as understanding as you.”
“No can do, but you can tell em’ yourself. Alright men, get on down here!”
In all my years I’d never had to explain myself to anyone up until that point. I guess that day my number was up but I never knew just how understanding people, normal people could be. I’d always lived around the supernatural in Paris, didn’t interact much with the normal people I saw in the streets every day, I didn’t have to. I’d always assumed there was a reason for that but in the moment I realized there wasn’t, not really. I’d just avoided normal people because I feared what they’d think if it came out that I wasn’t like them.
Of course There were some of the men that objected to… what I was. Most of them took after Marsh though. They didn’t really care what I was, I’d proven to them I was a good person and thats all that mattered. I just wish they’d been right about me back then because the truth was I still hadn’t learned to care, not really. Even the ones who objected came around eventually and that night Marsh finally came clean to me about why exactly he was so accepting.
According to him he’d always assumed there was more out there, things beyond human that lived on the fringes of society. Even he always thought he sounded crazy. I was the proof he needed to convince himself he wasn’t. Marsh also told me what we were really doing with the scientists. Both Frank and Stein researched the supernatural, their projects were as secret as secret could be. Marsh’s interests and theories, as personal as he tried to keep them showed up in his file somewhere. The higher ups had handpicked him for this mission because of it. The official story was that Frank had been captured but in reality he defected to further his own research with a like minded individual. Our mission was really to force Frank back into the fold and take Stein along with him.
The more he talked the more I could tell his heart was fully committed to this mission and the final assault tomorrow. I’d never seen someone so… alive. In my extremely long life I don’t think Id ever felt that kind of conviction myself. So I promised him I’d have his back tomorrow no matter what.
Morning broke and with it our assault began. Intel on the German defenses was shoddy at best but we never expected what we’d actually run into. At least three times our number acted as guards so a distraction was in order to give us a window of entry. A few of the men would handle the distraction “however they saw fit” to quote Marsh. Then Marsh and I would make our way into the compound itself and the rest of the platoon would cover us.
For what its worth most of the plan went off without a hitch. A tremendous explosion signaled Marsh and I to press the advantage and rush the confused soldiers that lay in front of us. Some actually turned and ran from me, apparently word of my stunt in the trenches yesterday had spread quickly. The rest of the platoon followed behind us but then our luck ran out with the roar of an engine.
An honest to god panzer tank rolled out of a tunnel we hadn’t seen that ran under the compound and turned its barrel towards us. I almost didn’t hear the blast from how slow time seemed to move. But move it did as the explosion of the shell’s impact scattered bodies left and right. The shell impacted behind us but the sheer force of the blast threw Marsh and I to the ground, knocking us unconscious.
When I slowly came to my eyes couldn’t believe what I was seeing. A man dressed in red priestly robes with a matching red top hat was walking between the bodies. When he approached one that groaned out with agony he’d kneel down and whisper things I couldn’t hear to them, after that he’d snap his fingers. sometimes the person he was talking with would disappear other times they would fall silent and sometimes it didn’t appear that anything happened at all.
Just the sight of the man terrified me and I wasn’t sure why. It was an instinctual reaction, the second I lay eyes on him I froze up and ice cold fear crept its way up my spine. When people accuse me of being the devil this man is who I think of. Even today I’m not sure what it is he does or why. What I do know is that he never looks the same. I’ve seen him appear as male, female, even as an animal on a few occasions but I can always tell. The second I’m near him no matter what he looks like the same old feeling comes over me.
Once my vision had finally focused in on the man he seemed to notice without ever looking at me. I blinked and suddenly he was there, kneeling over me.
“Would you like to live.”
He rasped down at me with a voice that seemed to boom around me no matter how quiet it must’ve actually been. I felt like a child again, staring at Archer for the first time. I’d never really had to fear death before but here I was, sure I was about to meet my end right here. In all honestly I wasn’t injured all that bad, I probably could’ve survived with or without this man help. But something told me that if I said no he’d make sure I would die right here.
“Ye…y… yes”
I stuttered out, barley able to form the words through the pain that stabbed throughout my body.
“You will be my instrument for one night at a time of me choosing.”
The man replied. I stayed silent as I stared into his eyes, trying to determine if the sunglasses he wore were tinted or if his eyes really did burn with an infernal red light. The man cocked his head as if waiting for a response to his question. I’m not sure if question was the right word though, there wasn’t much of a choice for me.
Looking back there was always a choice, maybe I could’ve survived on my own merits, found another way. In the years to come I’d wish I just said no, even if it would’ve cost me my life. But thats not what happened. I nodded and the deal maker snapped his fingers. As soon as he had dark clouds flooded the sky and blocked out the sun, allowing my body to begin repairing itself. The man moved on to where Marsh’s body lay and probably made him the same deal as I felt my body healing. Despite that, my consciousness faded again as I strained to try and hear what the man would say to Marsh.
We never actually discussed the man at all. Not then and not in the years since. Maybe that was all an unspoken part of Marsh’s deal. Maybe both of us just wished that man was nothing more than a waking dream, a vivid hallucination. Whatever the case neither of us ever mentioned that man to each other.
The next time I woke up I was chained to a table next to Marsh. We had been captured and brought before the very scientists we were here to apprehend. There were guards around but they all seemed to be waiting for some kind of order. I was certainly surprised when that order came in perfect English, even more surprised when the order was to let us down so we could talk.
Frank and Stein ended up being quite reasonable people. The two let us stay in relative comfort in the compound as long as we agreed to stay and leave them to their work. That was all the convincing it took for me. I understand that the men I’d served with were all dead and that these two were in some way responsible. Maybe that should’ve bothered me more, today it certainly would’ve. Back then I didn’t think the same way, they accepted me for what I was but only briefly, only out of respect for Marsh. What did the lives of people I’d known for so short a time really matter? Writing this now just makes me realize how cold I was before, I didn’t care for anything beyond myself. I’d made no efforts to find Belle since we were separated and how long had I known her, 100 years, more? I may have pretended I cared but when push came to shove I simply tried to make sure I survived.
Marsh wasn’t as cold as me, in fact he almost immediately reached for where his pistol should’ve been when he was unchained. It took Frank, Stein, and myself weeks to convince him that helping would be the right decision. He didn’t like it at first but little by little I think the scientists grew on him. The guards I’d seen our first day here seemed to thin out the longer we stayed. Wether that was a gesture of trust or simply because they were needed for more important duties I don’t know but it certainly eased Marsh’s mind.
I merely observed the scientists most of the time until Stein asked me for a sample of my blood. It didn’t surprise me that he knew what I was but for obvious reasons I was hesitant to give it to him, especially considering what I’d seen so called doctors do with vampire blood. Eventually he wore me down and I gave let him take a sample just to shut him up. After that I became more involved in their research though not by choice. They had me showcasing my abilities and tested the effects of sunlight on my blood. On a few rare occasions Stein even injected it into other prisoners that were brought in, something I put a stop to very quickly. T
hat sample of blood is why Frank and Stein are still around today. Somehow they managed to isolate whatever part of my DNA allows me to age so much slower than a normal person. They took that and spliced it into their own DNA against my recommendations. The crazy thing was it actually worked. Sure they had a newfound appreciation for rare steaks but beyond that I didn’t notice any of the effects that combining vampire DNA with your own would usually have.
As Marsh and I assisted the scientist’s research however we could we both came to the realization that they needed each other to function. Stein lacked a moral compass and was prone to suggest unethical or risky procedures, sometimes going so far as to carry them out without informing Frank. Frank on the other hand preferred caution in everything he did and sometimes I noticed him personally taking and shredding requests Stein had written for test subjects, hazardous materials, or samples from supernatural entities. The two kept a very delicate dance of checks and balances. Stein ever the daring mad scientist and Frank always playing the role of overly cautious genius.
Marsh and Frank got along extremely well near the end. The two would be up at all hours of the night as Frank explained what kind of things really existed in the world. Marsh always shared these ideas of a world where the supernatural and the normal could live together and I think Frank shared that vision. It wasn’t possible, still isn’t but treating the supernatural as something other than monsters couldn’t possibly be a bad thing. I think thats where the idea of the Bureau of Supernatural Affairs really came from, those talks Marsh had with anyone who would listen.
Overtime one of our favorite conversations was what we would do when the war was over and we could leave this compound. Stein wasn’t sure he would, if his research wasn’t going to a man who’d simply use it to cause more conflict he wouldn’t mind staying. Frank wanted to return home, if that was even possible and he asked if Stein would join him. Those two had also become close friends through our months in the lab. That checks and balances relationship they had made them basically inseparable. Marsh’s answer surprised me though, he said he wanted to get out of the military and start a program, something to help the supernatural live closer to normal lives. At least keep tabs on them so that the quality of their lives might improve. I was stunned, I couldn’t believe he’d throw his career away just to chase this pipe dream of his. I didn’t even know Marsh was concerned with that kind of thing. I didn’t have an answer of my own so I said I’d join Marsh and help with this program idea of his. Actually, even Frank and Stein seemed to agree with Marsh’s way of thinking. Little did we know the war would end less than a month after our talk and we’d all get the chance to actually put Marsh’s little idea to the test.
Once the Americans had come and discovered the compound pretty much abandoned aside from us we were all taken prisoner and shipped back to America. We were all interrogated and they either heard what they wanted to hear, or decided anyone we’d talk to about our experiences would assume we were just crazy. We were released back into society under constant surveillance. They even gave us a sizable home in D.C., it was certainly bugged to its core but thats exactly what we wanted.
Through the next year we used Frank and Steins knowledge and my supernatural nature to track down entities all over the country. We made sure that everything was discussed and planned out in the house. That way however was listening knew exactly what we were doing and how successful it was. It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows though, some entities would rather we didn’t know about them. Others were naturally aggressive but some we were actually able to help.
Our escapades as a group of four didn’t last much past the first year. Mostly because our master plan of using the bugs worked perfectly. Ol’ uncle Sam had been listening in and wanted his chance at calling the shots but it meant we became a legitimate organization, the BSA. Technically the acronym was already taken but no one ever complained and Marsh never came up with anything better.
We spent 4 years doing everything we could to improve the lives of supernatural beings everywhere. Not every one of our endeavors was a success but we did some good in the world. One such project was blood banks for vampires. While the blood that gets donated is used for transfusions and the like some was put into cold storage for the BSA. That got distributed to vampires who had come to an agreement with us to stop hunting humans for blood. Some vampires were even selected for jobs at these blood banks, under the supervision of BSA agents of course.
The more human supernaturals like werewolves, vampires, and succubi even used us to find jobs in the world. We made in roads for the supernatural in daily life because of it. Werewolves would use their strength for government construction. Vampire’s long lives made them excellent archivists or history teachers because they actually been there for those events. A succubus’s ability to understand and control someones emotions and reactions made them excellent therapists and conflict deescalation specialists. Those are just some of the fields we managed to get the supernatural involved in. While they usually had to hide their natural they were wildly successful.
Everything went well until that fourth year when I first met Baelen. He was headstrong from the beginning, the powers that be were grooming him for leadership. He was everything they wanted, he followed orders and didn’t question things to much. In short, he was the perfect solution to the inconvenience the four of us caused running the organization as we saw fit. But baleen had a mean streak, he didn’t want to protect the supernatural so much as he wanted to put them in their place. Unfortunately a lot of the research we provided had scared pretty much everyone above us who had never even entertained the idea of the supernatural until now. That meant Baelen’s ideas of monitoring and segregating the supernatural population were popular. So popular that suggesting culling their numbers to keep them in check and under the thumb of the BSA was an idea they actually entertained. That sentiment caught on and our orders became more and more militant.
Every time we disregarded them to do things the way we had envisioned the consequence grew steeper. Eventually Frank, Stein, Marsh, and I just couldn’t stand to see what our BSA had become so we left. We couldn’t do anything else to stop what was coming from the inside, no point in going down with the ship.
After that Baelen quickly ended up heading the whole operation. He still took orders directly from government officials and when the BSA became part of homeland security it became Chimera division. Why they chose such a stupid name I’ll never know but the organization was a shadow of its former self. Before we looked out for the supernatural, tried to help. Under Baelen Chimera just exists to monitor the supernatural and “correct” any issues uncle Sam decides to have with them. They’re glorified enforcers that don’t give a damn how the supernatural actually have it. That’s not to say some good people don’t work for them, people like Belle and even Marsh’s own daughter as far as I’m aware.
It sickens me to think I was a part of it though, for all the good we did maybe it would’ve been better if Johnson Marsh’s pipe dream would’ve stayed just that. I can do a lot but I can’t change the past so I guess we’ll never know. A while ago I heard that something had happened in a little nowhere town out in New Mexico. Pretty much dropped off the face of the Earth. The only reason I even heard about it was through Belle’s letters. Apparently Chimera had to do some huge cover up job and decided it was better if the town just never existed. Maybe I should go myself and see if I can’t piece what happened together. Could be that someone else out there has it in for Chimera and is a whole lot more direct about it than me. I’m just imaging it was some runaway experiment Frank and Stein got up to. I wonder where those two ended up, I’ll have to check up on them sometime. This journal writing is digging up a lot of memories for me but thats probably a good thing. Write them down before I forget again. I think that’ll be all for today then, why do I keep addressing these like someone’s reading them? Not much point to that is there?
2024.05.21 20:40 _jodomin05 Should I stop being friends with my best friend?
I (19F) and my best friend Neesh (not real name) (19F) have been friends for 3-4 years. We met in high school and we got really close since we have really similar personalities and interests. To make a really long story short, Neesh has been through a lot of crap in a short amount of time; turbulent family relationships, mental health, living in a homeless shelter, couch surfing, losing her job, and now currently lives with her dad. She's developed a drinking and vaping habit and has dabbled with some hard drugs, and I'm starting to get worried. We both have ADHD, and if you don't know, people with ADHD run at a far higher risk of falling into addiction due to the defaulting deficit of dopamine in our brains. Neesh constantly goes out to bars, drinking god knows what with bar friends that she's met by going to these bars all the time and I'm starting to notice how her drinking is physically affecting her voice (she loves to sing), her skin, constant coughing, etc. I've tried my best to be there for her, and help her understand that if she needs any help or wants to talk about anything, she knows I'm here for her and that I'll do my best with anything I can. What really got me to this point was when almost a month a go, she told me she went on a bender staying up for three days after doing some coke ( I literally have no idea how she got it, or how much she took. Considering she was up for three days, you can make your guess). I'm at a point now where I'm now just waiting for a call or something notifying me that Neesh is either pregnant, over dosed and in the hospital, or dead. She doesn't have anyone else to help her, I know I can't be her saviour and it's going to take a serious rock bottom for her to come to her senses, but is there anything else I can do to help her? Or should I just slowly stop talking to her?
submitted by _jodomin05 to makemychoice [link] [comments]
2024.05.21 20:40 PsychologyAfraid2800 AITA for not wishing my friend happy birthday
The main events take place in the summer of 2023, but before that there’s some pretty crucial information you need to know.
Many moons ago, three or four years before I was forced to live with the burden of knowing my dear friend, some shit went down.
Sophomore year of high school, Heather and my now boyfriend Tony were besties with another girl, that I will call Jane (the sweetest person I’ve ever met, by the way). At some point, Jane and her boyfriend went on a break, and Heather decided, for some reason to this day unknown, to try and sext her best friend’s ex boyfriend. I say “try” because he never really indulged her, which made the whole situation all the more embarrassing. Heather, however, lacking self-awareness and critical thinking skills, decided to keep this up for over five months, after which Jane and her ex got back together, and he told her everything. Contrary to Heather, Jane decided to be a good friend and wait for Heather to come clean about her actions without revealing she already knew everything.
And so she waited. But Heather never said anything.
Keep this in mind, it’ll be important later.
Fast forward to February 2022, yours truly is introduced on the scene by becoming Heather’s roommate during our first year of college. Surprisingly we got along pretty well, we became really close friends in a very short time. She was also the extroverted one (also important) of the two and really helped me come out of my shell, so for a while I was really grateful to her. Anyway, throughout the three months we lived together she was constantly talking about her friends Tony and Jane from back home, but especially referring to Jane as her best friend, the only one that really knew her and that she really trusted.
Her friend Tony was also a very popular topic in conversations, and the reason she convinced me to visit her home country that summer, which resulted in us dating but I will spare you the details of that because it’s a different story (although a good one too).
The summer ends. She moves back to her country, I go back to mine, now pursuing two long distance relationships, the one with my boyfriend and the one with my only friend. So, in January 2023 plan a trip there with Tony but I decide not to tell Heather, and to let it be a surprise instead.
This is where the thing I told you to remember comes back for the first time, and I get front row seats for this years-long conflict finally unraveling.
Jane decided she had enough of waiting for her friend to become decent and slowly started growing apart from Heather, who had actually started the fight by accusing Jane of ignoring her.
When asked about the reasons for her behavior, some of Heather’s responses were, and I kid you not, “BRO I HAD A PLAN” and “IT’S LITERALLY NOT MY PROUDEST MOMENT”.
So. Yeah. Needless to say, they stopped being friends.
Now, for some reason, Heather decided to start this fight on the groupchat with my boyfriend, which meant I had access to everything, and after learning about everything I started to question my friend’s actions for the first time. Like, yes I knew she was a bit stubborn, and annoying, but who isn’t. Betraying someone you have talked about multiple times as your best friend and then lying about it for years, however?
But I decided to put my worries aside for the moment and just be more careful around her before I actually formed an opinion. I also had never met Jane before so at that point it probably wouldn’t have been my place to intervene.
During my trip, I get the idea to plan a surprise party for Tony in the summer and I share it with Heather who seems on board and ready to help.
That aside, the rest of my visit was pretty uneventful up until my last day there.
It being my last day, I wanted to spend it with all my friends, so me, Tony, and Heather met up at a mall to hang out. After a while, I noticed Heather looking pretty down so I asked her if she was alright. She told me she was feeling a bit worried because she got the impression that Tony was growing more distant from her. She revealed to me that this actually already happened before, during Tony’s last relationship, and she was scared it was going to happen again. “And I’m so sorry for involving you like this but do you think you could talk to him for me?”
Now, you have to know Tony and her were never the best of friends; he’s always been closer to Jane than he was with her, simply because they don’t have many things in common. Heather also had the habit of constantly bringing up his ex in my presence, by making weird comparisons with me about literally anything. “Oh, you’re dyeing your hair red? Tony’s ex also dyed her hair red for a while. Omg your eyeliner is so good, you know Tony’s ex actually—”
No. I do, in fact, not know and I would like to keep it that way.
So when she mentioned his ex, being the idiot that I am, I felt so bad because I somehow assumed it was my fault, that I distracted him from his friends with my psychic evil girlfriend powers and therefore it was my responsibility to fix it.
So in May, I start planning Tony’s birthday party and Heather decided that for some reason it was her job to invite people and plan activities and literally plan the whole fucking party actually. She kept making suggestions I knew he would hate and inviting people he outright said he couldn’t stand, until I had enough and was forced to put my foot down. I let her invite her boyfriend and a friend of hers and handled the rest myself. In the meantime, I contacted Jane. Because unlike Heather, I know my boyfriend well enough to understand who his friends are so I always knew Jane was going to make the list, which I anticipated to Heather back in February. Her response was something along the lines of, “It’s okay for me if it’s okay for her”, which I thought was good enough. After all, I wasn’t expecting them to chat like nothing had happened but I assumed they would both be mature enough to put their differences aside for their friend’s sake.
The day of the party comes and Heather and I get there early to set things up, and when we’re in the bathroom doing our makeup she goes, “Hey, this might be a weird question but did Jane mention if she was bringing anyone?”.
This is where I might have been a bit of a bitch. Because Jane did actually ask me if she could bring her boyfriend, the same guy from the story that keeps coming back, and she even apologized for that, but knowing there were going to be three couples at the party already, including Heather and her own boyfriend, I didn’t even think twice before saying yes. However, I also failed to mention that to Heather until the day of the party.
When she found out, she was gone. Completely lost the plot, would not hear reason. She spent the whole evening sitting on the couch next to her boyfriend, with her back to the rest of the party, ignoring everyone else unless they asked her a question directly or forced her into conversation. After the umpteenth failed attempt of including her I felt so guilty I went to cry in the bathroom thinking I had ruined my boyfriend’s party because Heather was not having fun.
Days later, when all of this turned into a paragraph fight via text, instead of apologizing she kept attacking Tony for being rude to her and not understanding that she is very introverted and has “major anxiety”, and that was the reason why she didn’t even try to celebrate his birthday with him once throughout the night. Something I found hard to believe as I had been in that position before, while she was the one to help me out of it, introducing me to new people. So I am well aware of what it means to feel out of place, which is why I tried my best that night, and I also know that if she really wanted to do more, she would’ve.
During the fight, I finally had the opportunity to really talk to Jane for the first time and finding out about some things Heather did to her while they were friends reminded me of something else she did to me.
Back in November 2022, I got on birth control. Naturally I texted my friend, telling her about it.
Her response was, and I quote: “I have a theory. I’ve noticed a pattern where all of Tony’s girlfriends (ex and you) have started taking birth control since dating him soooo he either forced the girls or the girls don't care about STDs and accidental pregnancies. And the side effects obv.”
So I brought this back up during our fight. She tried to deny and to claim she was simply in “shock” because of my sudden interest in birth control, but I sent her back the proof of how she ignored everything I was trying to tell her only to keep trying to prove her hypotheses. My message said: “I was excited because I had done my research, I found a gyno and I went on my own and I texted you knowing that I couldn't share that excitement with my mother so I thought my friend would understand but instead you just came up with conspiracy theories about Tony forcing his girlfriends to get on BC or his girlfriends not caring about accidental pregnancies which was extremely insulting and I still don't know what your intention was because if you were joking it wasn't funny. I was being really vulnerable and you just basically chastised me. I can understand not agreeing but there's ways and ways to say that, you can still be happy and supportive while disagreeing, which was not what you did at all.”
She apologized but also said “I’m sorry you felt that way”. I decided to leave it at that and forget about it.
A couple of weeks later she angrily texted me wondering why I didn’t wish her a happy birthday.
So, AITA?
submitted by PsychologyAfraid2800 to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]
Many moons ago, three or four years before I was forced to live with the burden of knowing my dear friend, some shit went down.
Sophomore year of high school, Heather and my now boyfriend Tony were besties with another girl, that I will call Jane (the sweetest person I’ve ever met, by the way). At some point, Jane and her boyfriend went on a break, and Heather decided, for some reason to this day unknown, to try and sext her best friend’s ex boyfriend. I say “try” because he never really indulged her, which made the whole situation all the more embarrassing. Heather, however, lacking self-awareness and critical thinking skills, decided to keep this up for over five months, after which Jane and her ex got back together, and he told her everything. Contrary to Heather, Jane decided to be a good friend and wait for Heather to come clean about her actions without revealing she already knew everything.
And so she waited. But Heather never said anything.
Keep this in mind, it’ll be important later.
Fast forward to February 2022, yours truly is introduced on the scene by becoming Heather’s roommate during our first year of college. Surprisingly we got along pretty well, we became really close friends in a very short time. She was also the extroverted one (also important) of the two and really helped me come out of my shell, so for a while I was really grateful to her. Anyway, throughout the three months we lived together she was constantly talking about her friends Tony and Jane from back home, but especially referring to Jane as her best friend, the only one that really knew her and that she really trusted.
Her friend Tony was also a very popular topic in conversations, and the reason she convinced me to visit her home country that summer, which resulted in us dating but I will spare you the details of that because it’s a different story (although a good one too).
The summer ends. She moves back to her country, I go back to mine, now pursuing two long distance relationships, the one with my boyfriend and the one with my only friend. So, in January 2023 plan a trip there with Tony but I decide not to tell Heather, and to let it be a surprise instead.
This is where the thing I told you to remember comes back for the first time, and I get front row seats for this years-long conflict finally unraveling.
Jane decided she had enough of waiting for her friend to become decent and slowly started growing apart from Heather, who had actually started the fight by accusing Jane of ignoring her.
When asked about the reasons for her behavior, some of Heather’s responses were, and I kid you not, “BRO I HAD A PLAN” and “IT’S LITERALLY NOT MY PROUDEST MOMENT”.
So. Yeah. Needless to say, they stopped being friends.
Now, for some reason, Heather decided to start this fight on the groupchat with my boyfriend, which meant I had access to everything, and after learning about everything I started to question my friend’s actions for the first time. Like, yes I knew she was a bit stubborn, and annoying, but who isn’t. Betraying someone you have talked about multiple times as your best friend and then lying about it for years, however?
But I decided to put my worries aside for the moment and just be more careful around her before I actually formed an opinion. I also had never met Jane before so at that point it probably wouldn’t have been my place to intervene.
During my trip, I get the idea to plan a surprise party for Tony in the summer and I share it with Heather who seems on board and ready to help.
That aside, the rest of my visit was pretty uneventful up until my last day there.
It being my last day, I wanted to spend it with all my friends, so me, Tony, and Heather met up at a mall to hang out. After a while, I noticed Heather looking pretty down so I asked her if she was alright. She told me she was feeling a bit worried because she got the impression that Tony was growing more distant from her. She revealed to me that this actually already happened before, during Tony’s last relationship, and she was scared it was going to happen again. “And I’m so sorry for involving you like this but do you think you could talk to him for me?”
Now, you have to know Tony and her were never the best of friends; he’s always been closer to Jane than he was with her, simply because they don’t have many things in common. Heather also had the habit of constantly bringing up his ex in my presence, by making weird comparisons with me about literally anything. “Oh, you’re dyeing your hair red? Tony’s ex also dyed her hair red for a while. Omg your eyeliner is so good, you know Tony’s ex actually—”
No. I do, in fact, not know and I would like to keep it that way.
So when she mentioned his ex, being the idiot that I am, I felt so bad because I somehow assumed it was my fault, that I distracted him from his friends with my psychic evil girlfriend powers and therefore it was my responsibility to fix it.
So in May, I start planning Tony’s birthday party and Heather decided that for some reason it was her job to invite people and plan activities and literally plan the whole fucking party actually. She kept making suggestions I knew he would hate and inviting people he outright said he couldn’t stand, until I had enough and was forced to put my foot down. I let her invite her boyfriend and a friend of hers and handled the rest myself. In the meantime, I contacted Jane. Because unlike Heather, I know my boyfriend well enough to understand who his friends are so I always knew Jane was going to make the list, which I anticipated to Heather back in February. Her response was something along the lines of, “It’s okay for me if it’s okay for her”, which I thought was good enough. After all, I wasn’t expecting them to chat like nothing had happened but I assumed they would both be mature enough to put their differences aside for their friend’s sake.
The day of the party comes and Heather and I get there early to set things up, and when we’re in the bathroom doing our makeup she goes, “Hey, this might be a weird question but did Jane mention if she was bringing anyone?”.
This is where I might have been a bit of a bitch. Because Jane did actually ask me if she could bring her boyfriend, the same guy from the story that keeps coming back, and she even apologized for that, but knowing there were going to be three couples at the party already, including Heather and her own boyfriend, I didn’t even think twice before saying yes. However, I also failed to mention that to Heather until the day of the party.
When she found out, she was gone. Completely lost the plot, would not hear reason. She spent the whole evening sitting on the couch next to her boyfriend, with her back to the rest of the party, ignoring everyone else unless they asked her a question directly or forced her into conversation. After the umpteenth failed attempt of including her I felt so guilty I went to cry in the bathroom thinking I had ruined my boyfriend’s party because Heather was not having fun.
Days later, when all of this turned into a paragraph fight via text, instead of apologizing she kept attacking Tony for being rude to her and not understanding that she is very introverted and has “major anxiety”, and that was the reason why she didn’t even try to celebrate his birthday with him once throughout the night. Something I found hard to believe as I had been in that position before, while she was the one to help me out of it, introducing me to new people. So I am well aware of what it means to feel out of place, which is why I tried my best that night, and I also know that if she really wanted to do more, she would’ve.
During the fight, I finally had the opportunity to really talk to Jane for the first time and finding out about some things Heather did to her while they were friends reminded me of something else she did to me.
Back in November 2022, I got on birth control. Naturally I texted my friend, telling her about it.
Her response was, and I quote: “I have a theory. I’ve noticed a pattern where all of Tony’s girlfriends (ex and you) have started taking birth control since dating him soooo he either forced the girls or the girls don't care about STDs and accidental pregnancies. And the side effects obv.”
So I brought this back up during our fight. She tried to deny and to claim she was simply in “shock” because of my sudden interest in birth control, but I sent her back the proof of how she ignored everything I was trying to tell her only to keep trying to prove her hypotheses. My message said: “I was excited because I had done my research, I found a gyno and I went on my own and I texted you knowing that I couldn't share that excitement with my mother so I thought my friend would understand but instead you just came up with conspiracy theories about Tony forcing his girlfriends to get on BC or his girlfriends not caring about accidental pregnancies which was extremely insulting and I still don't know what your intention was because if you were joking it wasn't funny. I was being really vulnerable and you just basically chastised me. I can understand not agreeing but there's ways and ways to say that, you can still be happy and supportive while disagreeing, which was not what you did at all.”
She apologized but also said “I’m sorry you felt that way”. I decided to leave it at that and forget about it.
A couple of weeks later she angrily texted me wondering why I didn’t wish her a happy birthday.
So, AITA?
2024.05.21 20:40 joshua0005 I'm bad at math. Should I give up the idea of a CS-related field?
20M from the US
TL;DR: I don't like math and as a result of that I don't understand it and struggle immensely in my math and physics college courses. I'm majoring in CS but I think I should quit because I don't like programming or math. I just don't know what other skill to learn so I'm not stuck being a cleaner or fast food worker for the rest of my life.
Long version: I don't think I'm inherently bad at math but I've always found it boring so I didn't pay much attention and my teachers aren't always good anyway and as a result of that I have a ton of gaps in my knowledge of math and don't understand it but also don't care about it at all. It's the same for anything that uses a lot of math like physics.
Even when I started programming I brushed it to the side because I was able to do what I wanted to in programming (make Roblox games and make web pages). I've now completed two semesters of college and am taking summer classes and last fall I struggled immensely with trigonometry and now I am struggling with physics although not as bad. I'm signed up to take trig again later this summer but I'm thinking about quitting it before it starts so I don't waste my money.
I don't even like programming anymore and was in it for the money but I've heard the web dev market is very oversaturated and unless you're really passionate about the field it's very hard to get a job. I just don't know what to do anymore and I'm afraid I'm going to be doomed to minimum wage jobs for the rest of my life because I'm too stupid to learn how to do any career.
The only thing I'm "good" at is learning languages and the only reason I'm "good" at it is because I'm extremely interested and passionate about learning languages. I don't think I'm actually any better than any other person. I'm just so passionate about it that I've had the drive to push through the hard moments and I have put thousands of hours into practicing Spanish.
Speaking intermediate Spanish is literally the only skill I have and it's pretty useless in terms of making money. I'm not interested in learning a single skill besides acquiring more languages and I know I have to if I want to make more money but I don't know what to learn. I also want to move abroad or be a digital nomad but I know if I don't figure out what to learn and learn it I have no hope of doing that.
submitted by joshua0005 to findapath [link] [comments]
TL;DR: I don't like math and as a result of that I don't understand it and struggle immensely in my math and physics college courses. I'm majoring in CS but I think I should quit because I don't like programming or math. I just don't know what other skill to learn so I'm not stuck being a cleaner or fast food worker for the rest of my life.
Long version: I don't think I'm inherently bad at math but I've always found it boring so I didn't pay much attention and my teachers aren't always good anyway and as a result of that I have a ton of gaps in my knowledge of math and don't understand it but also don't care about it at all. It's the same for anything that uses a lot of math like physics.
Even when I started programming I brushed it to the side because I was able to do what I wanted to in programming (make Roblox games and make web pages). I've now completed two semesters of college and am taking summer classes and last fall I struggled immensely with trigonometry and now I am struggling with physics although not as bad. I'm signed up to take trig again later this summer but I'm thinking about quitting it before it starts so I don't waste my money.
I don't even like programming anymore and was in it for the money but I've heard the web dev market is very oversaturated and unless you're really passionate about the field it's very hard to get a job. I just don't know what to do anymore and I'm afraid I'm going to be doomed to minimum wage jobs for the rest of my life because I'm too stupid to learn how to do any career.
The only thing I'm "good" at is learning languages and the only reason I'm "good" at it is because I'm extremely interested and passionate about learning languages. I don't think I'm actually any better than any other person. I'm just so passionate about it that I've had the drive to push through the hard moments and I have put thousands of hours into practicing Spanish.
Speaking intermediate Spanish is literally the only skill I have and it's pretty useless in terms of making money. I'm not interested in learning a single skill besides acquiring more languages and I know I have to if I want to make more money but I don't know what to learn. I also want to move abroad or be a digital nomad but I know if I don't figure out what to learn and learn it I have no hope of doing that.
2024.05.21 20:39 Electronic-Elk5686 Confirm If Your Spouse Is A Cheater
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submitted by Electronic-Elk5686 to u/Electronic-Elk5686 [link] [comments]
2024.05.21 20:39 IndependenceNo9027 Quinn's reaction to (SPOILER) was so irritating ugh
Quinn's extremely childish and irresponsible reaction to Debra's refusal to marry him in season 6 was really pathetic. She's not ready to marry him, so he tries to pressure her into accepting, and when he realizes that this heart-shaped cake he made later won't be changing her mind, he slams the door and goes sulking like an angry 4 year-old kid, and then proceeds to immediately break up with her and fuck as many women as possible, including one person of interest in a major investigation, all of this in a lamentable attempt at making Debra jealous, as if that could possibly... what, suddenly make her want him so badly that she'll accept to marry him? What kind of logic is that?? Or was his goal simply to hurt her? If so, why??
Her rejection of his proposal was perfectly reasonable! I mean, come on, Quinn, think about it: the one previous time where a guy professed his love for Debra and asked her to marry him, it didn't go very well for her now did it? Quinn should know that! Besides, she was just promoted to lieutenant, she's leading the team in charge of capturing the new serial killer who put a dismembered dead body on four horses and had them walk in the streets in the middle of the day without getting caught or even identified, so she doesn't have the time for that bullshit! And then he knowingly fucks a suspect in that very same investigation and when Debra is understandably and rightfully mad about this, he assumes that oh it's because she's just so jealous that the loser who broke up with her decided to screw another woman, that no, it can't possibly be because he's endangering this first major investigation she's leading! Ugh.
Oh, and did I forget to mention that he also goes on a drinking binge, manages to forget his gun in some random lady's car, gets high on marijuana when he's supposed to be on duty and crashed Debra's party while drunk and very rudely and inappropriately hits on Batista's younger sister (who's clearly not interested in him at all)? Yeah. Great work, Quinn, really. Clearly you're the best at not letting your personal life influence your professional one. Almost as bad as season 2's Esmée.
On top of that, his proposal to Debra was very clumsy and obviously not the right thing to do when it comes to Debra specifically. He shouldn't have proposed in the first place, nonetheless the way he did it was also inadequate for her. We've seen that Debra is into romantic stuff - in the first season, it's clear that she loves it when "Rudy" brings her flowers and says cheesy romantic things, and she seemed to really love his proposal with a shitload of flowers, costly champagne, a yacht and overall in ridiculously expensive and way over the top surroundings (I'll never understand the point of wasting money like that, but at any rate, Debra appeared to appreciate it a lot; maybe she just likes the idea of some guy spending that much money solely to please her? Who knows). Now, after her misadventure (to put it lightly) with "Rudy", obviously Debra isn't going to like anything too similar to what he did, however I'm assuming that her core tastes did not change - which means that she still likes classical romantic things; in consequence, proposing to her first thing in the morning, by putting the ring in the freaking fridge (was that really the only place Quinn could think of?) while they're making breakfast and pancakes are being cooked, was definitely not the best method. Furthermore, correct me if I'm misremembering, but wasn't it the morning of a work day? What, he couldn't wait until the evening, or better the weekend to propose, when they'll have way more time to talk about that and have fun? Personally I don't get why a specific setting is necessary to propose (just like I don't get most romantic things tbh), but I do understand pragmatism - which was obviously completely absent from Quinn's proposal. Was he so sure that she'd want to marry him (when she's never discussed marriage with him before and considering the debacle with her previous fiancé) that he thought she would say yes at once, and then they could go right back to eating breakfast and going to work without being late and that's it, it will be settled? Or was he trying to pressure her into accepting at once? If so, what a fucking dick. That marriage would never work. Oh, and the fact that they left the fridge open for like a whole minute was annoying - you're not supposed to leave the door of the fridge open for so damn long! You're supposed to just take what you need and then close it, so the food will stay cold! Grrr. Perhaps that's just me, because some of my relatives have the bad habit of uselessly leaving the door of the fridge open for too long, but anyway. And the pancakes burning was 100% predictable.
I'm not even a fan of Debra (maybe I'll elaborate on that in another post, and I'll do my best to not just repeat what others who dislike her have already mentioned about her), but in that situation I think she was entirely right to reject Quinn and that he was completely out of line.
I don’t know if anyone at all will give this a read, that’s just my opinion, but lately I feel like there’s been a little many so-called shitposts on this subreddit, and though sometimes it can be funny overall I much prefer discussion, so I decided to contribute to it. I’ve already seen some about Quinn, however I don’t think there’s been any about this particular element of that character in the sixth season.
So agree/disagree about this take? If you think there’s anything I got wrong, feel free to point it out!
submitted by IndependenceNo9027 to Dexter [link] [comments]
Her rejection of his proposal was perfectly reasonable! I mean, come on, Quinn, think about it: the one previous time where a guy professed his love for Debra and asked her to marry him, it didn't go very well for her now did it? Quinn should know that! Besides, she was just promoted to lieutenant, she's leading the team in charge of capturing the new serial killer who put a dismembered dead body on four horses and had them walk in the streets in the middle of the day without getting caught or even identified, so she doesn't have the time for that bullshit! And then he knowingly fucks a suspect in that very same investigation and when Debra is understandably and rightfully mad about this, he assumes that oh it's because she's just so jealous that the loser who broke up with her decided to screw another woman, that no, it can't possibly be because he's endangering this first major investigation she's leading! Ugh.
Oh, and did I forget to mention that he also goes on a drinking binge, manages to forget his gun in some random lady's car, gets high on marijuana when he's supposed to be on duty and crashed Debra's party while drunk and very rudely and inappropriately hits on Batista's younger sister (who's clearly not interested in him at all)? Yeah. Great work, Quinn, really. Clearly you're the best at not letting your personal life influence your professional one. Almost as bad as season 2's Esmée.
On top of that, his proposal to Debra was very clumsy and obviously not the right thing to do when it comes to Debra specifically. He shouldn't have proposed in the first place, nonetheless the way he did it was also inadequate for her. We've seen that Debra is into romantic stuff - in the first season, it's clear that she loves it when "Rudy" brings her flowers and says cheesy romantic things, and she seemed to really love his proposal with a shitload of flowers, costly champagne, a yacht and overall in ridiculously expensive and way over the top surroundings (I'll never understand the point of wasting money like that, but at any rate, Debra appeared to appreciate it a lot; maybe she just likes the idea of some guy spending that much money solely to please her? Who knows). Now, after her misadventure (to put it lightly) with "Rudy", obviously Debra isn't going to like anything too similar to what he did, however I'm assuming that her core tastes did not change - which means that she still likes classical romantic things; in consequence, proposing to her first thing in the morning, by putting the ring in the freaking fridge (was that really the only place Quinn could think of?) while they're making breakfast and pancakes are being cooked, was definitely not the best method. Furthermore, correct me if I'm misremembering, but wasn't it the morning of a work day? What, he couldn't wait until the evening, or better the weekend to propose, when they'll have way more time to talk about that and have fun? Personally I don't get why a specific setting is necessary to propose (just like I don't get most romantic things tbh), but I do understand pragmatism - which was obviously completely absent from Quinn's proposal. Was he so sure that she'd want to marry him (when she's never discussed marriage with him before and considering the debacle with her previous fiancé) that he thought she would say yes at once, and then they could go right back to eating breakfast and going to work without being late and that's it, it will be settled? Or was he trying to pressure her into accepting at once? If so, what a fucking dick. That marriage would never work. Oh, and the fact that they left the fridge open for like a whole minute was annoying - you're not supposed to leave the door of the fridge open for so damn long! You're supposed to just take what you need and then close it, so the food will stay cold! Grrr. Perhaps that's just me, because some of my relatives have the bad habit of uselessly leaving the door of the fridge open for too long, but anyway. And the pancakes burning was 100% predictable.
I'm not even a fan of Debra (maybe I'll elaborate on that in another post, and I'll do my best to not just repeat what others who dislike her have already mentioned about her), but in that situation I think she was entirely right to reject Quinn and that he was completely out of line.
I don’t know if anyone at all will give this a read, that’s just my opinion, but lately I feel like there’s been a little many so-called shitposts on this subreddit, and though sometimes it can be funny overall I much prefer discussion, so I decided to contribute to it. I’ve already seen some about Quinn, however I don’t think there’s been any about this particular element of that character in the sixth season.
So agree/disagree about this take? If you think there’s anything I got wrong, feel free to point it out!
2024.05.21 20:39 Mawksie Pulling and Team Building for beginners
Hi everyone!
Likely the most common type of post in this sub is asking for guidance about what current/upcoming characters would most benefit their account to pull. I've dipped into a few of these threads to offer what insight I have, but I feel like there are some basic principles that are easy to see once you've played for a while that are less obvious when you first start, and talking about those might help more people than handing out fish individually.
Disclaimer: I'm not a hardcore player. I don't whale (monthly passes and NH only). I couldn't recognize a damage simulation calculation if it hit my mother. My main qualification to talk about this is being a person who has played every day since release, and since about three months after that, hasn't gotten less than max stars in every MoC/PF. I'm what I assume most would call a "successful casual" player. So if that's your current goal, I'm hoping I can help.
Second Disclaimer: YOU ARE HERE TO HAVE FUN, IF SOMEONE LOOKS COOL TO YOU, PULL FOR THEM. Everything below is for getting your account on it's feet as fast as possible, but ultimately the only factor in HSR is time. No matter who you pull, your account will have everything it needs eventually, and you WILL get all those stars. If you're in no rush, skip my post since it will only be as valuable as who-to-pull advice as /okbuddytrailblazer. Remember: If you aint mirin' your fun is expirin'
Why?
Because with a reasonable investment, the 4* damage units on your team will do just fine (for now). Pulling a damage unit is tempting in the beginning because big numbers and flashy animations are cool (and listen, I know thats why we're all here), but you don't get to see those big numbers and animations if your damage dealer is dead. The biggest jump in the power and confy-ness of my account was upgrading Bailu to Fu-Xuan. Suddenly my team was surviing long enough to finish fights that seemed like close-calls at best a day prior. My damage was still middling, but at least I was surviving long enough to deal it.
"The basics" just refers to two things, mainly:
Luocha
Gallagher:
1. Is your DPS going to struggle if the enemy is not weak to their element?
But did they? or was it the Silver Wolf and Pela standing behind her?
The real excitement now, is in the buffers/debuffers
Limited Harmony (and utility Nihility) units are the last piece to the puzzle. Not only will they give you screenshot-worthy damage numbers, but they have much more broad appeal to teams than other roles.
While certain teams want certain stats more than others, ultimately, stats are stats, and whether that means you're going faster, hitting harder, or getting more energy for ultimates, your DPS units will almost always benefit from a limited support unit.
There aren't that many of them, so lets talk about all of them and what makes them good.
1. Bronya
1. Do you already have units that have synergy with the new units?
submitted by Mawksie to StarRailStation [link] [comments]
Likely the most common type of post in this sub is asking for guidance about what current/upcoming characters would most benefit their account to pull. I've dipped into a few of these threads to offer what insight I have, but I feel like there are some basic principles that are easy to see once you've played for a while that are less obvious when you first start, and talking about those might help more people than handing out fish individually.
Disclaimer: I'm not a hardcore player. I don't whale (monthly passes and NH only). I couldn't recognize a damage simulation calculation if it hit my mother. My main qualification to talk about this is being a person who has played every day since release, and since about three months after that, hasn't gotten less than max stars in every MoC/PF. I'm what I assume most would call a "successful casual" player. So if that's your current goal, I'm hoping I can help.
Second Disclaimer: YOU ARE HERE TO HAVE FUN, IF SOMEONE LOOKS COOL TO YOU, PULL FOR THEM. Everything below is for getting your account on it's feet as fast as possible, but ultimately the only factor in HSR is time. No matter who you pull, your account will have everything it needs eventually, and you WILL get all those stars. If you're in no rush, skip my post since it will only be as valuable as who-to-pull advice as /okbuddytrailblazer. Remember: If you aint mirin' your fun is expirin'
~-~Okay, but who should I pull??~-~
You're first priority should always be a powerful sustain unit.Why?
Because with a reasonable investment, the 4* damage units on your team will do just fine (for now). Pulling a damage unit is tempting in the beginning because big numbers and flashy animations are cool (and listen, I know thats why we're all here), but you don't get to see those big numbers and animations if your damage dealer is dead. The biggest jump in the power and confy-ness of my account was upgrading Bailu to Fu-Xuan. Suddenly my team was surviing long enough to finish fights that seemed like close-calls at best a day prior. My damage was still middling, but at least I was surviving long enough to deal it.
"Okay, but what makes a sustain unit good? Aren't all limited sustains better than 4*/Bailu?"While most/all limited sustains will broadly be better than 4*/Bailu, they are not all going to be equally valuable to an in-progress account. As of right now, pretty much all of the released sustain units are top tier and worth getting for new accounts, but as more are released, you're going to see units fit more into niches that are much more valuable to more established accounts that can take advantage of those niches, and much less valuable to new accounts that mostly just need to cover the basics.
"The basics" just refers to two things, mainly:
- Can your sustain unit heal/block enough damage to keep your units alive?
- Can your sustain cleanse/prevent CC effects that would hamper your team's ability to do their job?
Luocha
- Potent single target heals with free casts, and potent off-turn healing means any damage that doesnt outright one-shot your team is healed back to full quickly and easily
- His ability when triggered manually or through his passive, cleanses, allowing for quick reactions to CC
- Extreme damage mitigation and small heals allow teams to easily survive all but the most punishing content
- Once-per-cast ability blocks single or team-wide CC
- Insane ability healing output, plus consistent off-turn healing keeps teams alive, albeit at an SP cost
- Her ability's target, as well as all recipients of her off-turn healing are cleansed, making pretty much all negative effects complete non-issues.
- High value shields that self refreshes if they survive long enough give comfy margins for even big incoming damage
- Self-CC immunity plus reasonable CC resist on his shield mean your only real enemy is bad luck
But what about upcoming sustains? Will they be just as good?Maybe! We can look at the kits of some 4* sustains to see what more niche sustain kits may look like in the future:
Gallagher:
- Fair healing output, but requires the injured party to attack or else costs 1SP to heal directly.
- Cleanse on ability, but locked behind E2. Only on-turn, costs SP.
- Break effect debuff on ult/EBA means synergy with teams that benefits from debuffs/BE.
~-Okay, I have a plan to get a sustain, can I blow something up now?-~
Yes! But, just like sustains, there are going to be things to look out for to get the most out of your first limited damage-dealer.1. Is your DPS going to struggle if the enemy is not weak to their element?
- Seele or JingYuan are great for on-element battles, but are going to struggle a lot more if the enemy is resistant to their damage.
- JingLiu and Acheron care a lot less about if the enemy is weak to their element, and much more about why they have the audacity to still be alive
- Look for future units that either bring their own weakness penetration, can implant their element's weakness, or deal damage that reduces toughness regardless of type
- DHIL is great, but without Sparkle/Luocha, is going to have to compromise a lot of his turns to deal 5 digit numbers, and like, who wants that?
- Black Swan is amazing, but a whole different level of cracked with Kafka.
- Look for units that act as their own support unit. Ultimates/Passives that grant high crit or penetration values make these characters much more forgiving to build and play in a wide variety of teams.
- Argenti is the PF Konami code, but probably isn't going to breeze you through MoC, or the SU modules
- Acheron/JingLiu/DHIL can can handle almost all content at least passably well, and where they shine they dazzle
- Look for units that deal with big health bars, but don't ingore other enemies. As of right now, Limited Destruction units seem to be skeleton keys for most content.
So are other DPS units not worth getting?Every limited DPS unit in the game has a place and team that makes them amazing. Once your account is getting its full value out of the biweekly challenges, then the best value comes from building synergies.
~-Okay I have my damage dealer, and they're staying alive. Why are my numbers so much lower than the ones I see in screenshots and videos?-~
When you first start HSR, it seems like the real heroes are the damage dealers "WoAw That Acheron just hit an Ult for 850k!"But did they? or was it the Silver Wolf and Pela standing behind her?
The real excitement now, is in the buffers/debuffers
Limited Harmony (and utility Nihility) units are the last piece to the puzzle. Not only will they give you screenshot-worthy damage numbers, but they have much more broad appeal to teams than other roles.
While certain teams want certain stats more than others, ultimately, stats are stats, and whether that means you're going faster, hitting harder, or getting more energy for ultimates, your DPS units will almost always benefit from a limited support unit.
There aren't that many of them, so lets talk about all of them and what makes them good.
1. Bronya
- Attack/crit buffs are great for most damage dealers
- More turns for the turn god. As long as you have the SP to fund it, giving your main units more actions is always amazing.
- More stats for the stat throne. Free dmg% just for existing, and SP generation with her cone are pretty universally useful. Self-action advance on auto-attack means even wasted turns aren't wasted.
- Speed tuning is not essential, but a great way to make Bronya even better when you get the opportunity to stop and fully invest in her.
- She's not even a limited 5* and she's amazing. That's how powerful Harmony units are
- Put her on any team with excess SP
- Truly uses the entire buffalo with no wasted stats at all. DMG% Penetration% and Break are desirable on pretty much every team, and she bring a truckload of all of them.
- Getting the stats to enable said truckload does require some time and effort, but once done, you have a unit that can fit in pretty much every team and make them that much better
- Break seems to be an upcoming focus akin to DoT or FuA, and she will be top tier in every one of those teams.
- Put her on any team that has other characters
- Enormous single target crit buffs, action advance, and huge SP generation make for a near-universally useful hypercarry enabler.
- More forgiving with speed-tuning than Bronya, but with just as much room for big dividend payouts with investment
- Put her on any team that gets most/all of its damage from one source (Avoid DoT teams, unless they can crit somehow in the future)
- More hits, harder hits. Already hit hard and often? Hit harderer and oftener.
- Full team advance means more damage AND more SP generation while putting herself on the shelf and passively generating energy from the team.
- One of the easiest buffers to build, since her desired stats are basically just attack, speed and energy gen.
- Put her on any team that attacks enemies, the more attacks the better
- Tsunami of debuffs for teams with Acheron/Ratio.
- Great for teams that are generally underbuilt since she also weakens the enemy's atk and spd
- Enables off-element DPS teams, albeit one target at a time.
- Put on any team that needs to deal off-element damage, benefits from debuffs, or is only fighting one main target.
- Everyone gets one!
- Likely top tier for future break teams
- Deals a ton of damage on their own, and allows the same for other non-damage dealers on the team.
- Only comes online during Break windows, but when pairs great with Ruan Mei for fastelonger break windows
~-I have a character for all three roles! Now what?-~
At this point, you should be able to capable handle at least one side of MoC/PF, and you'll want to shift focus to your second team, but this is much more open ended, so let just talk about some considerations that will make choosing new characters easier. Remember that ultimately your goal is to have teams that can reliably clear the biweekly challenges and SU modules.1. Do you already have units that have synergy with the new units?
- You picked up Robin for general support use, but now have a top tier Follow-up buffer. So units like Topaz and Aventurine will be more valuable to pull in the future.
- While pulling for 5*s, you E6'd Pela. So units like Acheron, JingLiu, or DHIL have a great support waiting for them if pulled.
- You have a great JingLiu hypercarry team, but you struggle to clear PF. Units like Argenti or Jade (Or Himeko from the 300 selector) will bring a ton of value and become invaluable in their current PF niche.
- In high MoC floors, your B-team keeps getting CC'd/dying. Getting your second sustain unit will not only make your B-team much more comfy, but also you'll be free to not pull another sustain for a long time, if ever.
- Remember that your A-team doesn't have to always stick together. If your buffers and DPS are clearing their floors quickly, move your sustain to your B-Team since they'll need to survive longer to finish their floor
- Some units are amazing, but are going to suck up your resources for a while until they fully come online. Hitting the Break threshold on Ruan Mei or Firefly might keep you from either getting the most out of them while you build up your other characters, or delay getting a full team until you farm a lot of gear.
~-TLDR;-~
- Pull for units you like
- Have a plan to get a Sustain > Damage Dealer > Support unit for your first team
- Focus more on broadly effective units early on while you're still building your teams
- Look for strong synergies with characters you already have
- Build outward from your current roster once you have one solid team built