Does spice show up in a laboratory drug test

Its been 3 months, around 20 failed interviews, 2 offers and alot of time spent catching up with the FE game, just thought its time to share my experience and help some out.
Screening round: Be clear of what you did before, your past employers/projects/teams size, team structure. Show your value (system design, tech stack decision, best features you implemented, planning, coaching, etc...) Prepare the Challenge/Most difficult problem kind of questions. HR might not understand how good you are at Typescript juggling but they want to at least understand you can communicate well with the people waiting for you on your next round. They dont want to introduce someone who cant speak clearly or apprehensive. It annoys their manager and is bad for their year end review.
Technical questions: Ok I will try to go into most FE related stuff now
JS: events loop, async, DOM manipulation are must learn!
React: Some old timer did come up so at least read about them: pure component, HOC. Then the usual stuff: hooks, memo, best practices (props passing instead of local state, components over props, explicit state over variants). Know your side effect, DOM tree, when does React rerender, why state shouldnt be overused. State management: Redux, zustand, react query, contextAPI. What to choose, when to choose.
Vue, NextJS: Similar to React questions, but expect to give comparision between these and React. Especially if you are asked about Next, then be prepared to talk about folder structure, file based routing, and of course SSR and server actions, why data fetching with server is faster than client side fetch. Hydration, invalidation, error boundary.
Testing/Reporting/Web Vitals: Unit test with Jest is NOT enough. You are expected to explain through the entire testing stack: Catching bugs, unit test, integration test, CSS test. Some toolings like Sentry/GCP/Sonarqube are expected too. Know your Chrome dev tool well too especially the network tab (!) waterfall, fetch, response, header etc... Have an opinion about when to unit test vs e2e
Webpack/Optimization Not usual to hear about Webpack anymore but still you should know what it does with your JS files, bundling, treeshaking, dependencies map, code splitting, polyfill...
Deploy Even if its the job of the dev ops guy in your team, you should still at least understand the build/deploy process, dockerizing an app, the content inside .yml files. They will ask questions like when do you perform test in your pipeline, release process, dev/prod environments, how API keys are stored on cloud... Dont get caught off guard!
Micro-frontend/Cloud: These started slowly leaking into the job of a FE dev about 3-4 years ago but now they are asked almost everytime. If you never worked with micro-front end before, use shadcn/ui for example or at least know that its very common for company to have multiple React projects (UI kit v1, UI kit v2, Form kit, client app, legacy app, etc...) and they want you to be comfortable with develop them in parallel. Also learn the basic of deploying on Vercel or AWS to not raise any red flag of a knowledge void.
If you sign up for senior position, prepare to talk about coaching, short term long term planning, change request management, stake holder expectation.
NOT once I was tested about Tyepscript eventho this is one of the toughest shit to deal with in real projects.
Live coding: Leetcode is inevitable. If your lucky, they will ask one or two questions such: how to filter duplicates in an array. You need to practice this and if you dont know where to start, udemy, youtube has some pretty good courses. At the end you should learn by heart to solve the most common problems: Anagram, String Frequency, Two Sum, Remove Duplicate... And at the very least you can tell the interviewer the approach into problem solving (2 pointers, sliding window, divide conquer..) and explain big O. Most of the time, interviewer dont require you to solve problems with good efficiency. So nested for loops or built in JS functions are totally ok.
Take home assigment: One thing that isnt asked or mention in the earlier rounds but always come up in take homes is working with API API API API!!! I have to really stretch this because it might or might not burn you. The commons tasks will be: Connect to the company or some third party API, fetch data, do some data transformation, build some decent UI for the data. If you get the generic stuff like MockJSON, TMDB then you are lucky. There could be trickier stuff like Notion, Stripe, Spotify that requires auth and quite some data transform then it might take you alot of time. Depending how familiar you are with it. My advice: Have your own node server boilerplate ready. Better yet just use NextJS for both server and client. Use at least one state management package (zustand or react-query is fine) Practice setting these up by building smaller Next app (auth, fetch, folder[slug], routing) so when the time comes you can execute it fast. Never ever overlook UI and responsive design. I fucked one up when I built all features perfectly but didnt make the UI to spec like their requirement. One more tip: Once you submit your assignment to github and time is up, as long as you dont hear any feedback from the company, keep improving the app and merge the changes. Make it perfect if you can!
For the rest: Know your taxes and rate. Prompt ChatGPT to prepare you for anything you are unsure about. Its especially good at solving, giving direction in leetcode questions once you already understand the basic. Good luck!

I have a question as a catholic, but my families religious belief are aligned with Judaism because it's tradition for generations. So basically to keep things short. I was talking to my good old grandma a while ago and the whole topic of the messiah came up because of the whole conflict and she hit me with the "Jesus was never the messiah". I was shocked because it's a catholic house hold and she started telling me that the messiah never came and that our family is still waiting bc it's a tradition. She mentioned how the New Testament (Christian bible) isn't real and the Old Testament (Hebrew bible) is the only true book and she kept putting emphasis on the covenant between Moses and the big man. This was all taught from generation to generation verbally bc our family never had a physical copy of the OT(my family doesn’t refer to it as the Old Testament, we say our bible) that she's aware of. But my 2nd great grandmother was religious to where Saturdays she's just stayed home and pray. We pretty much just reject Catholicism, but we are Catholics (Im not really, I never really chilled with Christianity). I don't know, it's weird bc she waited until now to tell me, my mother already knew somewhat of it and didn't tell me. Basically I was wondering if any of y'all know why a supposedly catholic would be aligned with judaism more? We did do dna testing and Sephardic Jewish heritage does show for everyone, obviously distant like 3-5%. Idk if that has something to do with it. I want to speak with a priest in person but I was told to never mention it to the church. Soooo I’m here hoping a priest could give insights.

My family and I are in desperate need for some advice on how to help a family member currently having a complete mental breakdown. We know drugs and alcohol are a factor, but he seems to be showing signs of bipolar or even schizophrenia (whether chemically induced or not, we do not know).
In the past week, he has sent out an email to VPs at work with whistleblowing type accusations, pushed a coworker, kicked off the property of work and told not to come back. He thinks he’s on vacation. After all of this, we receive a call from police Thursday evening saying he has locked himself in his apartment and is destroying it. He is a gun owner so they were afraid to enter. They were called after several neighbors saying he was walking around saying he was lost, then when he made it home he went out on his balcony nude, yelling profanities. After not letting them in for 2 hours, they left to hopefully de-escalate the situation. That night he destroyed his apartment (tore cabinets off walls, ripped faucets out - breaking pipes and flooding his and surrounding apartments).
The kicker is, after that night, he wakes up to said destroyed apartment and acts like nothing happened and everything is fine. Not denial, truly believing nothing is wrong even surrounded by his destroyed apartment. The neighbors took his dog in all of this and he doesn’t even notice until the next evening, then claims the dog has been with him this whole time (he is also saying the dog can talk to him). He truly believes he was asleep this whole time and the police came in and destroyed his apartment. The following evening, he started tearing up the flooded floors in his apartment, making it sound like he was working a job site and fixing the floors.
He refuses to get help (my parents are now with him from out of state) and truly does not believe anything is wrong. Nothing he is saying makes sense to anyone but him. We have tried everything we can think of but he needs to be in a mental health facility. We are afraid he may hurt himself or others if he comes back to reality and realizes all that has happened.
The police have been zero help. We obviously would prefer he be in a facility over jail cell but don’t know what to do. To get an involuntary mental hold (since he is unwilling to walk in), we need medical proof that he needs it (makes zero sense, Texas sucks).
Is anyone in Texas that is familiar with the laws and anything we can do? We just want to help him. This isn’t him, but no one seems willing to help him unless he physically harms himself or others.

Is my 17 yo son a lost cause? My husband and I have 3 kids, 17M/17F, and 9F. My son has always been the type that has lied and steals. Even when he was little. We tried bribing, timeouts, quality time, you name it. He has a really bad tendency of gaslighting people, while looking at them in their eyes, stealing his sisters money. 4 years ago, he stole the keys to my husband's gun safe and my husband had to get physical with him in order for the keys to magically reappear.
He is very respectful when home but acts a complete fool when out and about. He gets into trouble and blames other people. I have suggested therapy but my husband believes that there's no use and he'll just lie to the therapist, Ido agree with him but I feel like this is our last resort. He goes off on girls and won't say anything to boys because he's afraid that they will beat him up. My husband had told him that he's a coward and is very disappointed in him.
He recently broke into a school and recorded himself with 2 other kids and they got caught. He has been trying to meet people off of snapchat to have sex withamd has been speaking to this "lady in her 40s" and was going to have this lady get him from the police.... she's a completely different race!!! When asked about him making the video in the school, he vehemently denied it until it showed his face. He said the other kids talking him into breaking into the school but the burner phone he had showed messages of him asking when they were going to do it and prompting them to do so.
He is my stepson and I have been raising him since he was 1.5 years old. His maternal biological side is into drugs and do the same thing that he does. Is this a situation of nature vs nurture?
My husband has full custody and he doesn't know his maternal side but idk. My husband is asking what went wrong. My husband tried to play video games, movies, anime, quality time, you name it and he never seemed to care. He's on the wrestling team and he would never want us to come to his meets but then he spins it and says that we don't come, even though he doesn't want us to. He has been trespassed from his previous job for an altercation with a girl and being disrespectful and he still went back like nothing could happen to him we are always coming to smooth things out for him.
We have always done family night and have open communication to where they express their feelings but he says everything is fine. They have all been given the same opportunities and experiences and love. For example, I told both him and his sister that if they saved their money and said that they wanted to purchase a car, they could. My daughter is has her permit asks to drive everyday with their dad, and has the money for a car. My son no longer has a job but still has money. Instead of trying to purchase a car, he has spent $1000s on TV, video game consoles, and food. He has his permit but doesn't ask to drive. When I brought up purchasing a car again, he said if his sister get a car before him, it would show favoritism and it wouldn't be fair. They have both been told this since they were around 10.
This is all over the place and I apoligize but hes done so many things that its hard to put them all in here. He get cuddles, hugs, and kisses just like the girls but goes againist everything we say. What should we do?
He's super smart and could have been in advanced classes but decided not to. I'm just sadded to see him choose this path. Suggestions?

First of all I want to say that I really would like to believe. This post is not coming from someone that would like to not believe or hates religion or something. I truly believe Christianity is a good thing in the world and the teachings of Jesus are obviously good. These are all simply questions of its authenticity, not of the values being taught.

1. How can you explain seemingly insane stories like Noah’s Ark? It seems insane to genuinely think that a few guys built a wooden boat thousands of years ago that was able house two of every animal to ever live. On top of that they would need to also pack enough food for all these animals, and finding space for enough food for just 2 elephants would be difficult, let alone that hundreds of thousands or millions of other animals on board. Did the animals just poop and pee on each other the whole trip? How did they keep all the animals around before boarding? Obviously tracking down and catching all these animals would take years at minimum, and then finding a place to keep all these animals without them eating each other or starving to death or just escaping seems unlikely. And what about the insects? How did they catch every species of bug? Did they get them all in a jar? How did they not fly away at any point before boarding the boat?
   
2. If God created Adam and Eve and every other animal at the same time, why are there no accounts of humans interacting with dinosaurs? I would imagine someone would have written something at some time to indicate this, or at least a drawing, and it doesn’t exist. On top of this, how can you explain no dinosaurs existing now, of any kind, and how do you explain the amount of fossils we have found that date them back further than the Bible says the Earth has existed? And how do you explain the amount of fossils we have that shows slow change of species as they evolved and developed of hundreds of thousands and millions of years if they were all created at the same time approximately 6000 years ago?
   
3. Why would God create Satan? You can say that he allows for free will and that is why Satan was allowed to continuing existing, but this doesn’t really follow when there is multiple times in the Bible that God intervened with people’s free will to save people or get what he wants done, so why not get rid of the embodiment of evil? Why allow Satan to interact with Adam and Eve, especially when they were “innocent” and didn’t know any better, and why do we all have to pay for their mistake when God could have prevented it entirely. God obviously knew it was happening considering he is all knowing, so why did he allow it? You could say it was a test for Adam and Eve, but if he knew it would doom all of mankind why would he allow it? He intervened for much less in other parts of the Bible, but not when all of humanity will be cursed due to the actions of 2? And further, why does God allow Satan to have such reign over this world? Why does he allow Satan to control so many parts of this world when he could destroy him at any point he wanted to?
   
4. I don’t think the existence of God answers any real questions about our existence. People say that we are so complex that there is no way there wasn’t a creator and that there is no way we just evolved this way, but doesn’t that bring up more questions than answers? If we are so complex we needed to be created by some higher being, who created God? He is like 10 trillion times more complex than us, and somehow he doesn’t have a creator? And then people would say well God is infinite and he just is and has always existed, but couldn’t I just say that about the universe? And if just by chance God exists and always have, I don’t find it more unlikely that we just happened to evolve by chance to be the way we are.
   

These are not all my questions but I want to keep it relatively short. Thank you for reading and I look forward to reading other perspectives.

Hi. I'm a 25 year old person and I just wanted a safe space to share something personal that happened to me when I was about 18-19 years old. I could find the date it happened... but doing this would mean going to look through a lot of old memories. It's a good thing and also a bad thing. When it happened, one person new about what really happened and another person thought it was something else completely. I didn't think too much about it when it happened but my body body did in fact remember. I use to get full body tremors something. Like my entire body would get tense and it would force itself to shake off all the tension. Afterwards I would just feel tired. As I have gotten older, I began telling some people close to me. My reaction doesn't change at all all these years later. Sometime I think that it was my fault. Sometimes I think that that person should not have done that and I wasn't my fault. Sometimes I think, in comparison, it wasn't a big deal. But it is regardless. It was just something that happen to me.
Anyway, here is what happened. I'll start with some context first. I was always alone. I didn't really have anyone. All I have was my eldest half sister and her husband and I did almost everything with them (more him than her because she was always working). I started living with them right out of secondary school all the way to university. When I got to university, I got mixed up with a person I shouldn't have and he got very angry with me saying that he tried to guide me to be better since my parents were a waste of time. He would get really mad about it because I would talk about how I was feeling (naivety and all) and he would just say that I was stupid to put it lightly. That was the dynamic of the household at this point in time. Him being stressed about his other life things going on, plus being mad at me (especially since I didn't want to hear good reason, which if he wasn't so mean at that time I might have listened to but honestly I don't think I might have). He would curse some times, be mean, make me feel paranoid about anywhere I was (this paranoia existed before and disappeared when I left home but then came back at a point when I started living with them). I wasn't right in this either, I just kept making mistakes, and they didn't trust me.
Another point of context is that I have always had problems with my body since I was young. For this story, the problem was in my private area (I'm a girl fyi) and there was no one to talk to about it at this time and I always ended up hurt myself. I even have tears on my labia from how much I hurt myself.
So when I started getting an allowance from my parents for university and because I'm an impulsive person as well, decided to go to the doctor. I remembered taking a bus to get to school and seeing a gynecologist office. I've known it was there ever since but I just kept it in the back of my mind for a long time. I was done having all these problems so I just went. It was relatively far walk from where I use to live as well. I can't remember why I didn't take a bus but I didn't. I went in and spoke to the receptionist. She told me that the docter wasn't in office yet and I could wait for him to arrive. So I waited. When I got called into his office I was really really really scared. But I was already stuck being there so I couldn't leave . He asked me if I had a boyfriend. And I told him that I did. He asked if I have sex. (This was my long distance person) I said no. I can't remember all the old things he asked. Afterwards, he told me to go in the back room to do the ultra sound and to take off my pants. So I did. He came in the room and did a check up on my breast (over my clothes) and said then said something along the lines of "I can do the ultra sound on your stomach but I can get a better......" At this point in time, I was on a table with a man with my legs spread and I was alone. I was flustered and didn't really understand what he was telling me but I just agreed. I agreed without thing. Fuck I wished I was thinking. He did whatever he was doing and then insert a probe inside of me. It hurt. It hurt so much and he was just talking like it was a normal thing. To me, I was just trying not too move too much and flinch from the pain I was getting. When he was done, he told me to put my clothes back on and left the room. I went in the bathroom and saw that I was bleeding. I was so startled and scared by this and put on a pad that was there in the room and told him that I was bleeding. I can't remember his reaction but he just said to come sit by the table and said nothing was wrong with me. I asked about things like if my discharge was normal and he said it was fine. He gave me my ultrasound, appointment card and sent me to pay. It took all of my savings to say the least. It was raining when I was walking home. I stopped at a fast food restaurant and waited until the rain stopped. I looked at the ultrasound while I was there and called my friend and showed him. He looked at it and said something along the lines of you don't look pregnant. At some point I made it home and hid away all the things and went on with my day. I can't remember my feelings honestly. I was already going through some other things and this was just one of my many mistakes at that point in my life. Maybe that same day, her husband when looking in my room looking for none existent drugs because he saw charcoal tablets in my room. I didn't do any drugs. Maybe I smoked some weed (once in a blue moon) and smoke cigarettes all because of stress but nothing else. He found the ultrasound and appointment card and called the place. When I got back to the house I remember being confronted about something but I can't really remember what happened. I've blocked out a lot of things that happened back then. I went home for that weekend (I never went home on weekends before and when things started happening I started going home) and I received a missed call from a number I didn't know and a voice-mail. I listed to the voice mail and it was the docter. He called me back and said that I should come back to his office and that a concerned family member called. I called my friend and told him and we had a good laugh about it. I was confronted about it at some point in time by him. I only realized that he went through my things because certain things were not put back in place in my diary. When I remember when he confronted me, I asked if he did look though my drawers. I can't remember if he lied or not but I remember the conversation being that I noticed that something was not put back in place in my dairy and he said he usually does but it pack in place but didn't this time. I feel like I could put more but it would be too much. It all happened such a long time ago and I should just move on but honestly I'm still so angry about a lot of things. It's hard for me to get over. This is just one of them. Sometimes I even wonder that when I do find someone, how do I even explain this. That I'm still a virgin but my hymen was broken by a gynecologist or should I just lie and say I've had sex before and just fake it. If I say the truth would my person even want me? All I can say is that I'm trying. Good enough for me.

Hello Sub,
I recently saw the posts on Ishizuchi on this sub reddit and was excited to test the same. Unfortunately the window to enrol was closed. But, I got their prototype box and 3 launched fragrance testers by paying 1200/- and have taken my own sweet time testing it.
Here I am sharing only my honestly, unbiased opinion on how I felt about the prototypes in their box. Please note that these are my opinion and may be subjective. I am not for or against the company and have not received any compensation whatsoever for writing this.
Ishizuchi

1. Jinko - Opening is harsh and abrasive like. But it slowly starts to smell like TF Ombre Leather, but heavier on the spices. It's like TF Ombre Leather and Vicktor spicebomb had a baby. Not my type. 5/10.
   
2. Yume - Another harsh opener. Airy and sweet feminine fragrance. Not offensive at all. Smells like a new book in the dry down but much sweeter. Mildly spicy which is enjoyable. Smells like a reception of a luxury spa in the coastline of Bali, but stronger in the middle. And an expensive dessert with coconut milk in it after it completely dries down. Loved this. 8.5/10
   
3. Sei - I got a lot of incense at the opening with underlying leather notes on this one. The leather definitely gets more noticeable as it dries down. It's got a unique smell to it but not everyone may enjoy this. It tries hard to be a YSL Tux. A very faint note of sandalwood was observed after almost 30 mins of spraying it which was enjoyable. But I doubt it's probably the incense playing a trick on my mind. 6/10
   
4. Tsuki - A super sexy and rich fruit salad with musk and topped with a ton of peach in the opening. The opening on this one was one of the most enjoyable amongst all. Jasmine is the highlight of the fragrance and for a good reason. It makes it more enjoyable. Feels like an evening walk in Jasmine gardens somewhere in Korea. This is my favourite of all even though it's feminine. 9/10
   
5. Shio - A strong citrus in the opening and dries down to being slightly leathery that's not enjoyable. Fresh spices in the middle open up really well and try to save the fragrance but somehow don't succeed. Unlike the beginning it smells nice after it dries down completely. Bitter Nutty accord comes up and makes it much more pleasant to enjoy. 6/10
   
6. Kizuna - The peppers (Fresh spices) in the opening are bright. It smells like a gin cocktail once I had in Bangalore but with nice spices added to it. Drydown is a Xerox copy of rasai hawas but not as sweet. Personally, this one is more enjoyable compared to Hawas. 9/10
   
7. Tabako - A high quality scent that smells like a spice drying yard in southern Karnataka on a spring afternoon. Pepper on this one is one of the best I have smelled and really enjoyable. But has lesser character with it dries down. Maybe there is nutmeg in this one and it's not working it's best. I also sighted get a turmeric smelling note when it dries down which I personally find enjoyable. I smell iris in this after about 45 mins and it just is so so good. 8/10
   
8. Hana - A sweet berry opening welcomes you and takes you on a long walk into the Invictus garden. Smells really high quality in the dry down. If you like the PR Invictus line of fragrance, you may like this one too. Dries down again to feel a lot like Invictus or Hawas. 6/10
   
9. Mizu - Citrus heavy, airy, fresh and slightly Woody fragrance that has a very bubblegummy middle to it. It's very fresh but very bubble gummy. Smells like a restaurant cooking Thai lemon soup and cotton candy together. 8/10
   
10. Ishi - A cardamom heavy opening is warm and enjoyable. The spices overpower the attempt of this fragrance trying to be fresh and uplifting. The notes seem like they are wrestling each other rather than being in harmony. But the dry down is so so enjoyable with citruses taking over with a sweet berry nuance. Confused with this one. Works for me for now. A rich Asian in his lexus would want this as his daily use. 8/10
    

The packaging was exceptional and design language was elegant. The response from the seller over WhatsApp was instant and enjoyable.
The quality of all the fragrances in the box was fine. None of them felt cheap like a few of the middle eastern clone houses does. Some notes that were not enjoyable might have felt odd but I can vouch that the quality even there was better than many of the brands that are cloning the deigners and nice perfume makers.
Lastly,I wish the best for the new venture and hope fraggeads get a good brand that they can explore and bank on in the near future. :)

Brutal honest opinions please if I'm the AH fine. I just can't think clear. Grandfather passes away. Haven't seen my partner since its happened he suggested a coffee and call this morning and this is how it played out. I am D.
[19/05, 08:32] D: You OK xxx
[19/05, 08:33] P: Yea babe why. You ok?? Xxx
[19/05, 08:34] P: You gonna go back to sleep? I’m gonna lay here thinking of you xxx
[19/05, 08:39] D: Thought we was going to have coffee xxx
[19/05, 08:40] P: We didn’t say a time xxx
[19/05, 08:49] D: Okay what time xxx
[19/05, 08:51] P: You going to lay down or get up?? You were up at 0200. Depends when your getting up I guess. I’m a lil tired but what do you feel xxx
[19/05, 08:51] D: Okay let's lie down xxx
[19/05, 08:52] P: Wish you were here so I could give you tickles xxx
[19/05, 09:05] D: Yeah xxx
[19/05, 10:42] D: You awake? Not really sure what is happening xxx
[19/05, 11:31] P: I thought you were gonna lie back down. I fell asleep. I’ll get up now and sort the buggers out now xxx
[19/05, 11:32] D: I couldn't sleep xxx
[19/05, 11:32] P: Oh no! Sorry xxx
[19/05, 11:33] P: You got up then yea xxx
[19/05, 11:33] D: Yeah I thought you were sleeping lol xxx
[19/05, 12:11] D: Is everything okay ? Xxx
[19/05, 12:21] P: Yea. Was sorting them out. You wanna call now or it too late? Xxx
[19/05, 12:24] D: In the middle of making J's food now. Xxx
[19/05, 12:24] D: When you said coffee together I presumed it was morning before the kids got up so we could talk xxx
[19/05, 12:26] P: Ok no worries. Yea that was the plan. When you messaged at 0200 it took ages for me to sleep after that. Sorry. I got a lot to sort today so I’m gonna be busy now. Speak later ok babe. Love you xxx
[19/05, 12:26] D: Yeah no worries xxx
[19/05, 12:37] D: What time will you be able to speak to me then? Xxc
[19/05, 12:38] D: Just so you know, things are clear and don't get muddled up like usual xxx
[19/05, 12:42] P: I can’t say a time sorry. I got the garden treatment to do. Go shopping. Take Kay for a walk. Hoover. Do models with Liam. Washing. Quite a lot. So I need to get this sorted so I don’t have to do it tomorrow. I got quite a few calls I need to make tomorrow. Sorry. I can’t really say xxx
[19/05, 12:44] D: No worries 👍. Nice to be prioritised under hoovering when I'm grieving. Enjoy your day.
[19/05, 12:52] P: Oh come on! You could have called me already. Don’t put all this on me. You could have called me when you didn’t sleep. I feel asleep waiting for you xxx
[19/05, 12:57] D: You can't be arsed to take time for us to have a quick conversation and coffee like you said we would. I was looking forward to it and you just can't be arsed. But no worries. Just know I WILL prioritise you when a family member of yours passes away. Multiple times I asked you what time or said what is happening. But yeah I should have just called you when you had already told me you were tired and you also said your tired because I woke you up at 2. My aunt tried to kill herself last night my dad called me late. So no I couldn't sleep and wanting to talk with you over a coffee this morning like agreed. I feel fucking let down by you to be honest. You haven't prioritised me with your actions. You say all the right shit but it doesn't materialise does it.
[19/05, 13:11] P: Ok. Clearly you’re pissed at me so I’ll let you calm down. You’re seeing things completely one sided again. If it was so critical to you should have just called. I’m fed up of you not doing things and expecting me to know what you want and testing my reactions. I have prioritised you this whole time. All the shit I’m doing today is because I don’t want to be doing it all tomorrow when you’re here. So why don’t you go and calm down before you let rip on me again
[19/05, 13:13] D: 10 minute phone call P. Not hard is it. Not hard to put the hoover down and talk to me or talk to me when your walking Kay. Nothing one sided about that or testing your reactions. We agreed to have a call this morning.
[19/05, 13:14] P: Like I said. I couldn’t give you a time. I need to get things done before I do. You want to talk then answer when I call you since your not capable of calling me this morning
[19/05, 13:14] D: Wow. Don't bother.
[19/05, 13:16] P: My thoughts exactly. I have constantly said tx me when you want. Call me when you want. No matter the time! I have all this shit to do today because I’ve waited all morning for a call. Now I am running out of time and liam is here so why don’t you show a lil understand and appreciation for what I’m trying to do instead of thinking I’m doing this to hurt you or because I’m a heartless cunt!
[19/05, 13:17] D: You've waited all morning for a call have you? [19/05, 13:17] P: I will not be replying now.
[19/05, 13:17] P: I replied at 0830 you could have called then [19/05, 13:17] P: I’m not replying have too much to do!
[19/05, 13:18] D: I literally asked you what time I could call [19/05, 13:18] D: You're unbelievable
[19/05, 13:19] D: Don't worry. I don't want to speak to you. You've made yourself clear.

During the height of my high regard for the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU), among the movies of which I had been a major fan were the Captain America releases. At least two of them. The third film in this mini franchise - 2016's "CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR" proved to be a major disappointment for me. However, when I heard that Disney and Marvel Films had plans to air a miniseries about the characters Sam Wilson aka the Falcon and James "Bucky" Barnes aka the Winter Soldier, I must admit that I felt a renewed interest in the franchise again.
When I said a renewal of the MCU franchise, I meant it. Aside from a few movies like "ANT-MAN", "BLACK PANTHER", "CAPTAIN MARVEL" and "ETERNALS"; the MCU had become a major disappointment for me ever since the release of 2015's "THE AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON". One might ask . . . what about the MCU television productions that aired on the Disney Plus streaming channel? Aside from one production that I somewhat liked and one that I loved, most of them have been disappointing to me. Unfortunately, I have to include this follow-up to the Captain America movies, "THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER".
Set six months after 2019's "THE AVENGERS: ENDGAME", "THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER" followed former war veteran/Avenger Sam Wilson, who has resumed working the for the U.S. government, while using his role as the Falcon. When the government recruits Sam to track down and deal with a group of enhanced anarchists known as "the Flag Smashers", former World War II veteran/HYDRA tool/Avenger James "Bucky" Buchannan aka the Winter Soldier decides to join Sam in his mission, due to his lingering guilt as a former HYDRA assassin and their shared experiences as Steve Rogers' close friends and battling Thanos and his army.
Since "THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER" had aired on the DisneyPlus channel in six episodes, I had seriously considered ranking the episodes. But like Season three of the Marvel Netflix series, "DAREDEVIL", the more I watched "THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLIDER", the more it disappointed me. Aside from complaints about its pacing, the limited series had received a great deal of praise from critics and fans alike. Because of this, I believe it was one of the most overrated productions in the MCU history. People had seemed so focused on little moments and scenes that very few had noticed how the series' narrative seemed to be all over the map. For example:
~\Sam Wilson~* - This limited series is supposed to be a follow up to the events of "ENDGAME" in which Sam had received the Captain America shield from an aging Steve Rogers, a sign for him to take up the latter's costumed role. Was this an attempt by Marvel Films/Disney to make Sam a more relevant character? If so, why? Why did a MCU character have to replace Steve as the new Captain America to be more relevant? Why not allow Sam to continue as the Falcon, only push his role to the forefront as one of the franchise's new leading characters? Some might accuse me of not wanting a black man as Captain America, a topic that was brought up in the series. Frankly, I never wanted another character - regardless of race, gender or ethnicity - to become the new Captain America. That includes Bucky Barnes. Allow Steve Rogers to fade into the background and let Sam (as the Falcon) shine as one of the franchise's new leads. However, the die has been cast. One can only sit back and see if moviegoers are willing to accept Sam as the new Captain America.
Perhaps the MCU had to make Sam the new Captain America in order to make him more relevant. Why would I say that? The showrunner for "THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER", Malcolm Spellman, came dangerously close to shoving Sam into the role of the second lead or worst, a role he has been since his debut in 2014's "CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER" - a supporting character. During the series' first three or four episodes, someone other than Sam (either Bucky Barnes or Helmut Zemo - two white men) made decisions that allowed the plot to move forward, not Sam. He was simply regulated to being an observer or reactor. The series even managed to undermine Sam's decision not to support the Sokovia Accords in "CIVIL WAR". In thee 2016, Sam became the first Avenger to speak out against the Accords and declare his intentions not to sign it. Yet, according to Bucky in this series, Sam had merely followed Steve's example in rejecting the Accords. And Spellman did nothing to allow Sam to correct this misconception.
~\James "Bucky" Barnes~* - One of the few aspects of "CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR" I found enjoyable proved to be the interactions between Sam Wilson and Bucky Buchannan. Despite their lingering jealousy and competition over the role as "Steve Rogers' best friend", the pair's interactions proved to be very entertaining, thanks to the screen chemistry between Anthony Mackie and Sebastian Stan. Unfortunately, Mackie and Stan could not save "CIVIL WAR" for me. Nor could they save "THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER", due to its problematic writing. A good deal of that writing surrounded Bucky's character. I have so many questions about his role in this series. For example:
-Why would any official of the Joint Counter Terrorist Center allow Bucky to visit and question Helmut Zemo, the man responsible for the U.N. conference bombing in Vienna, in "CIVIL WAR"? That made very little sense to me. Surely the JCTC authorities remembered how Zemo managed to brainwash Bucky into making his own prison break in "CIVIL WAR"? Also, Bucky was on parole for his activities as a brainwashed HYDRA assassin. Yet, the JCTC had allowed him to visit Zemo? Surely, the showrunner could have allowed Sam, who was serving the U.S. government again, to be the one to visit and question Zemo?
-How on earth did Bucky managed to evade being arrested and charged for helping Zemo escape from the JCTC? The U.S. and other governments should have been suspicious of Bucky after learning about his visit to Zemo.
-Bucky came off as an arrogant school jock, who thought he was entitled to get his way - especially in his interactions with Sam. I found it hilarious that many fans had criticized John Walker aka Captain America aka U.S. Agent for such toxic behavior. Yet, they had turned a blind eye to Bucky's own behavior. And so did the series - up until the last two episodes. Why did the showrunner allow Bucky to get away with this behavior toward Sam for so long without any complaints from the latter?
-I did not care how Bucky had bullied his way into Sam's mission without the latter's consent. What I found even more annoying was the U.S. government's decision to allow Bucky to join Sam's mission after that ludicrous "therapy session" they were forced to attend together.
~\Racism -~* A good number of MCU fans had complained about the inclusion of racism in "THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER". I had no problems with this direction, considering the story was about Sam, an African-American man, becoming the new Captain America. However, I had a good deal of problems with how the production explored the topic of racism.
The story of Isaiah Bradley, Marvel's second Captain America, had originated in the comics. In the MCU, he was a Korea War veteran whom the United States Army used as one of several unwilling African-American test subjects for their version of the Super Soldier serum. I realize that both Marvel Comics and the MCU had attempted to use Bradley's experience as a metaphor for the Tuskegee Syphilis Study. The problem is that I cannot see the U.S. government and the Army - both racist organizations in the early 1950s - be willing to risk the possibility of creating a non-white super soldier. Despite the recent desegregation of the Armed Forces in the late 1940s. And both the government and the Army had been more than willing to use white soldiers in other experiments.
After saving a group of black American super soldiers from a prison camp, Bradly was imprisoned by the U.S. government for thirty years. I saw nothing wrong with this twist in the character's narrative, until I remembered two things - Bradley had been able to free his fellow soldiers without anyone's help; and nearly sixty years later, Steve Rogers managed to break into the Raft and free those Avengers who had refused to sign the Sokovia Accord. Why was Bradley unable to free himself from prison? This is the man who had defeated the Winter Soldier by breaking the latter's metal arm. And he was not powerful enough to make a prison break, let alone evade capture?
I had assumed Sam's difficulty in becoming the new Captain America would stem from the government's reluctance to recruit a black man for the position. That would explain their decision to recruit the blond-haired John Walker instead. But the series never really made it clear whether political racism had played a role in Walker's recruitment. The series also had James "Rhodey" Rhodes had paid Sam a visit, emphasizing the importance of the new Captain America being black. As it turned out, Sam's own insecurities about becoming Captain America had more to do with him not initially assuming the role. There was also that interesting scene outside Bradley's Baltimore home where the police arrested Sam during verbal argument with Bucky. Although the cops backed away when they recognized Sam as an Avenger, they ended up arresting the parolee Bucky for missing his required therapy appointment. This scene was supposed to be a case of racial profiling. But . . . we might as well be honest. In the real world, the police would not have backed down from hassling Sam. What I found more disturbing was the production's handling of Bucky's arrest. Once the police discovers that Sam was an Avenger; they turned to arrest Bucky for failing to show up for his missing his therapy session. Not only did the police arrest Bucky with a more gentle behavior, they did so, accompanied by Henry Jackman's mournful score, something that did not accompany the moment of Sam being arrested. Were the audiences expected to notice the hypocrisy and racism in the police's handling of the two men? Expected to feel sympathy for Bucky? Or both?
The last episode featured a scene of two black kids playing with toy Captain America shields. Someone had commented that the shields (especially in the hands of non-white children) represented hope to the future of race relations in the United States. Why? How? This country had a biracial president for EIGHT YEARS. Yet, U.S. racial policies have remained problematic even to this day. I can say the same for other countries. The so-called symbolism of this scene only reminded me of how human beings put so much faith in imagery and symbolism. And this strikes me as a FALSE FAITH. Why was taking up the mantle of a costumed hero that had been previously occupied by a white man, the only way for Sam Wilson to become relevant within the MCU franchise? What was wrong with him being "the Falcon"? Sam becoming the next Captain America was not going to save the U.S. in regard to race relations - not in real life and not in the fictional world of the MCU. Looking back on the series, the series' only scenario that seemed to expose racism in a realistic manner, proved to be Sam's failure to acquire a bank loan for his family's fishing boat in Louisiana.
~\Sharon Carter~* - I am certain many MCU fans are aware of this. One of Marvel Comics' most iconic couples happened to be Steve Rogers aka Captain America and Sharon Carter aka Agent 13. She also happened to be the great-niece of Peggy Carter, Steve's love interest during World War II. Portrayed by Emily VanCamp, Sharon was first introduced as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent in "CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER" as a potential love interest for Steve. Despite Sharon's appearance in the following Captain America movie, "CIVIL WAR", their romance never really developed. Many blamed the lack of chemistry between VanCamp and Chris Evans. I never had a problem with their screen chemistry. I had a problem with the lack of relationship development between Sharon and Steve. And I blame Kevin Feige's decision to transform the third Captain America film into a third (and badly written) pseudo Avengers movie. The change in the film's narrative, along with Sharon's failure to appear in "THE AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR" and "ENDGAME", left no opportunity for Sharon and Steve to become the romantic pair they had been in the comics. Instead, Sharon became a fugitive from the U.S. government after helping Steve and Sam hunt down Bucky, moved to Madripoor, a city-state with no U.S. extradition and became an embittered criminal known as "the Power Broker".
After "CIVIL WAR", nearly five years had passed before Sharon appeared in another MCU production - namely this series. And what happened? The franchise, with Spellman, ended up completely destroying her character by transforming her into the villain known as Power Broker, the criminal leader of an Indonesian city-state called Madripoor. After helping Steve and Sam acquire their suits and equipment in order to go after Bucky in "CIVIL WAR", Sharon lost her job with the C.I.A. and became a fugitive. She eventually moved to Madripoor, a city-state with no U.S. extradition, to evade capture, survived Thanos' Snap and became an embittered criminal nicknamed "the Power Broker" in order to survive the new world.
What really pissed me off about Sharon's arc between "CIVIL WAR" and "THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER" is that her development into a major villain all happened OFF SCREEN. Off screen. Apparently, screenwriters for "INFINITY WAR" had written a draft that included Sharon in the movie. But according to Christopher Markus, he and Stephen McFeeley could not imagine scenes featuring Steve and Sharon trying to make it work in an apartment, because the 2018 movie did not have time to focus on their personal life. Why did Marvel simply fail to allow Sharon to be part of Steve's vigilante team - like Sam and Natasha Romanoff? I mean . . . good fucking grief! And why did Malcolm Spellman believe the only way Sharon could be interesting was to become a villain in "THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER"? This was his idea of improving Sharon's character?
~\Helmut Zemo aka Baron Zemo~* - Why did Malcolm Spellman, Kevin Feige and the MCU thought it necessary to bring back Helmut Zemo, the Sokovian-born villain from "CIVIL WAR"? What role did he play in "THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER"? I realize that Bucky, of all people, visited the incarcerated Zemo to acquire information on who had created the super-soldier serum that empowered the Flag Smashers. But why did he believe Zemo could provide the answer? Because he thought HYDRA was involved? Bucky or Sam could have searched for information from sources other than Zemo, who had been incarcerated for . . . what? Eight years? Eight years. Zemo managed to become something of a crowd-pleaser, thanks to Daniel Brühl's performance. Otherwise, I found his presence in this series unnecessary.
~\The Big Bad~* - Why on earth did it take this series so long to finally reveal the main villain's identity? At first, the series hinted the Flag Smashers, led by Karli Morgenthau. However, the series tossed other potential candidates for the Big Bad before viewers - John Walker, Helmut Zemo and yes, Sharon Carter. But in the end, Morgenthau and her group proved to be the main villains.
The Flag Smashers were a group of empowered people who believed the world was a better place between Thanos' Snap and the Blip (resurrection of those who had died during the Snap), when Humans around the world managed to unite and form a borderless society, one in which people helped others without any thought to nationalism and bias. Thanks to the Avengers, the world resumed its conflicts between nationalities and other groups. In other words, the borders returned.
Frankly, I have nothing against this ideal. Only Ms. Morgenthau and her followers resorted to violence and terrorism to achieve their goals. Does this sound familiar? It should. The Flag Smashers proved to be another example of characters with a progressive goal, resorting to extremism and becoming villains. This seemed to be a growing trend within the franchise, which I believe began with Erik "Killmonger" Stevens aka Prince N'Jadaka in 2018's "BLACK PANTHER". Since then, the MCU has not looked back at its growing roster of progressive villains. Perhaps I should not have been surprised. The franchise's ambiguous portrayal of an unconstitutional document like the Sokovia Accords, should have been the wake-up call. It seemed as if Kevin Feige, Marvel Films and Disney Studios had finally exposed themselves for the faux progressives they pretend to be. Frankly, this form of villainy has become tiresome to me.
After writing this article, I had considered ranking the six episodes featured in "THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER" anyway. But I decided against it. My dislike of the series made it impossible for me to even bother. Being a fan of the first two Captain America movies, I had truly hoped this series would redeem the franchise. Unfortunately, it proved to be just as disappointing as "CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR". Pity. Perhaps the fourth film, "CAPTAIN AMERICA: BRAVE NEW WORLD" will do the trick. I hope so.

I think one of the worst things that you see a lot of the big YEC speakers do is the misrepresentation of science and the scientific method. It's one thing to argue with the evidence, this I accept as it is at least an attempt to engage in actual scientific discourse (excluding those who just baselessly decry the science). Even Tomkins with his apparent inability to do genomics is at the very least attempting to perform scientific experiments. However, these attempts to re-define science in a way that is beneficial to a creationist agenda is insanely frustrating, since it totally ruins all form of good-faith debate, and heavily misinforms people without a scientific education, and who don't really know how scientific process takes place.
To bring this point to light - I'm going to discuss this article from AIG: https://answersingenesis.org/what-is-science/what-is-science/. It displays basically all of these claims, and I consider it to contain some of the worst of AIG's mental gymnastics.
The article opens with a spiel about how science originated in Christian Europe, and refer to how Johannes Kepler, Francis Bacon, Isaac Newton and Galileo Galilei were all Christians who believed in a young Earth. Funnily enough, However - they fail to mention that Galileo was arrested by Christians due to his ideas contradicting a literal interpretation of the Bible - that being geostaticism (the idea that the Earth is stationary). I wonder why they excluded this piece of information?
They also state that "If the universe is a product of random chance or a group of gods that interfere in the universe, there is really no reason to expect order in nature". I could probably write an entire post on why this statement is false, so I won't go into this here. Maybe I'll do a follow up to this one just about this idea.
Now comes one of AIG's points that annoys me to no end - the ideas of 'Operational Science' and 'Historical Science'. AIG frames these terms as such:
Operational: "deals with testing and verifying ideas in the present and leads to the production of useful products like computers, cars, and satellites."
Historical: "involves interpreting evidence from the past and includes the models of evolution and special creation."
These terms do not exist in actual academia. They only exist within AIG's fantasy science land where they decide the rules, so that they can lend a fraction of legitimacy to their outdated ideas. The main reason they do this is to boil the argument down to one of faith. 'Evolutionism' vs Creationism is just a debate between two religions - same as Muslims and Christians arguing over which god is the real one. They present this in a slightly different way, but the meaning is the same: "The argument is not over the evidence—the evidence is the same—it is over the way the evidence should be interpreted." Essentially, 'we have different interpretations of the same stuff, so it's a matter of faith'.
What AIG are doing here is creating an unnecessary distinction. The worst bit is the reference to 'evidence from the past'. What they really mean here are things like the fossil record, radiometric dating, the geologic column - all the things that completely and utterly gut their belief in a 6000 year old created Earth. Instead of addressing them, they claim that it's a matter of interpretation.
Actual science doesn't create this distinction. Its purpose is to provide us with a method that lets us explain things we cannot observe directly, by looking at the things we can observe. No human has ever seen an atom with their own eyes - they are too small. Instead, we used observable evidence to figure out their structure, such as Rutherford's alpha particle scattering experiment - showing how most of the gold foil he was shooting the particles at allowed them to pass through, implying atoms being mostly empty space. Now Rutherford never saw an atom, but he inferred this about them through observation, as well as repetition of an experiment to minimise error. This is how science works. Of course, AIG would call Rutherford's work 'Operational Science', so we'll have to go somewhere else.
Let's use murder as an analogy (jolly, I know) - a person was killed 3 days ago, and their body was just discovered: we never saw them die, and we can never repeat their murder - because they are dead (truly groundbreaking stuff here). However, there is a gash across their neck, and a bloodied knife sat next to them. Moreover, this knife is covered with a person's fingerprints. We can then go to the house of the person who these fingerprints match, and ask them if they know anything - which they deny, despite lacking any alibi and having a definite motive. Do we have enough evidence to determine how the person died, as well as who killed them? Absolutely we do - there's a gash, and a knife covered in blood that matches the victim's: conclusion, they were killed with that knife. The knife is covered with fingerprints that lead to a person with no alibi at all, and a good motive: conclusion, they're the murderer. Now all of these data are from the past - the blood was put on the knife in the past, the wound was made in the past, the fingerprints were put on the knife in the past - by all metrics, this murder case falls into AIG's 'Historical Science'. As such, convicting this person is simply a matter of interpretation. We can only interpret that the fingerprints perfectly match those of the suspect. Who are we to say that they didn't somehow change over time? See how nonsensical this distinction is?
AIG then go on to the subject of theories - and again, they separated 'operational theories' from 'historical theories'. The idea is pretty much the same as discussed above, though there are a few points that I want to address. Firstly, they don't do the thing that I see many creationists (and other science deniers) state - that being the 'it's just a theory' thing, and draw a distinction between the colloquial and scientific definitions, though not without the prerequisite 'Evolutionists claim' line. This point has been beaten into the ground already, so I'll just leave it at that.
They go on to discuss how biological evolution is not an 'operational theory' as it contains 'interpretations of past events' and is 'not as well founded as testable scientific theories like Einstein’s Theory of Relativity or Newton’s Theory of Gravity'. It seems that AIG don't know that while Newton's law of universal gravitation remains as a very well-substantiated piece of science, his actual mechanism for how gravity works was in fact supplanted by Einstein's theory. Good scientific knowledge from AIG, as always. The big part of this section is how they refer to predictability as a method of validating a scientific theory: "These theories offer predictable models and the ability to conduct experiments to determine their validity in different circumstances." Once again, they conveniently omit the immense predictive power of evolutionary theory, instead choosing to claim that it lacks such a property - even going as far to directly claim "Molecules-to-man evolution does not offer this opportunity because these events happened in the past", once again ignoring that one of the key tenets of evolutionary theory is that it both has happened, and is currently happening - considering that we've observed speciation events occurring in the wild: https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.0911761106; https://www.cell.com/current-biology/fulltext/S0960-9822(09)01925-301925-3); https://evolution.berkeley.edu/evo-news/speciation-in-real-time/. The predictive power of evolution is immense, and we are only getting better at making evolutionary predictions as science progresses:
https://ncse.ngo/predictive-power-evolutionary-biology-and-discovery-eusociality-naked-mole-rat,
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9850016/#:~:text=Evolutionary%20predictions%20are%20often%20based,will%20adapt%20to%20their%20environment.
There's also the brief bit where they conflate evolution and abiogenesis "molecules to man evolution". They're two different ideas - and YECs reading this post, stop conflating scientific theories, they are distinct ideas. Evolution deals with how life adapts and develops, it has nothing to do with how life on Earth began - that's abiogenesis. It's the same thing as the Big Bang: it only deals with how the universe formed, not what came before it.
There's a short aside about naturalism, but in order to stop this post turning into a thesis, I'm going to gloss over it and move onto the next bit. Here, AIG describe how "Evolution also relies heavily on the assumption of uniformitarianism— a belief that the present is the key to the past. According to uniformitarians, the processes in the universe have been occurring at a relatively constant rate.". Of course, they fail to consider that, as is the case with all other science, we have evidence to infer that processes do occur at a constant rate. They proceed to discuss rock formation erosion as one of these thing which we assume to have a constant rate - even though I'm pretty sure this is not the case - and that the rate at which these processes takes place is highly variable. To me, this feels like them taking the worst example - and borders on a straw man. Correct me if I'm wrong though - I'm not a geologist, so my understanding is limited here.
I have no doubt that the actual aim of this paragraph is also to sow doubt about other systems reliant upon constant rates of change - such as radiometric dating. Yes, if decay rates were not constant, the values given by radiometric dating would be highly inaccurate, and it would be a useless dating method. However, this would also require a total rewrite of fundamental physics - as the concept of constant nuclear decay rates is backed up by a literal mountain of maths and physical evidence.

However, the Bible makes it very clear that some events of the past were radically different from those we commonly observe today. Noah’s Flood, for example, would have devastated the face of the earth and created a landscape of billions of dead things buried in layers of rock, which is exactly what we see.

Another claim that would take up a post on its own - so I'll skip this and tackle it later. Honestly though, just watch Gutsick Gibbon's stuff on the Genesis flood - she gives a far better explanation than I ever could.

Just as evolutionists weren’t there to see evolution happen over several billion years, neither were creationists there to see the events of the six days of creation. The difference is that creationists have the Creator’s eyewitness account of the events of creation, while evolutionists must create a story to explain origins without the supernatural.

More totally neutral and unbiased claims by AIG, as expected. There is no 'story' being created - scientists observe the (sometimes literal - pun very much intended) mountains of evidence for evolution. The fact that they have to make up a nonsense distinction to split science in two, so that they can put the bits they don't like (Big Bang cosmology, fossils, radiometric dating, geologic column, etc.) in a separate spot to the bits they do like, such as technology and medicine.

Just because many scientists believe the story does not make the story true.

Ironic, considering how much Ken Ham loves to show his lists of creationist scientists. Practice what you preach buddy.

Ok, so I've tried for a few weeks to figure this out on my own but I have acknowledged defeat.
I have been a plex guy for probably 10 years now (plex pass, etc) and have read a lot here and elsewhere and so I feel pretty well versed, but this has stumped me.
On to my issue. At some point I used unmanic to convert a lot of my content from 264 to HEVC 265. While that appeared to go ok (lots of space savings, etc), I started getting some complaints from my users (content not loading, or fast forwarding takes forever, etc). In doing some testing, I too am having some trouble with the reported content, even on my own network. In many cases, I say screw it and just redownload it and it works fine. (both 264 and 265). However, I would like to be proactive and seek out which of my content has the issue. But I can't seem to find a pattern to identify, as it's not all files that had been converted. I'm trying to use 'mediainfo' (this is an Ubuntu based plex server) to try to differentiate content that works and content that doesn't. (Bit rate? Encoder? What??) My goal is to find whatever is the problematic culprit/pattern and go ahead and replace that content with fresh copies, and leave the rest alone (because it's 20+TB). I of course don't want to attempt to watch all my content just to test it. So hoping I can script something that gives me the 'bad' list and go from there.
Note, this is does appear to be a transcoding or subtitle issue or anything like that. I have the same trouble whether it's with my iphone or browser (even same machine as the server). Roku however seems to work ok for playing the video, but if I attempt to fast forward, it automatically restarts the video from the beginning. In this particular test/reproduction using iphone, the server doesn't acknowledge the stream for a good 10 seconds and when it does it says buffering for something like 2 minutes before it starts playing. It does start playing after the 2 minutes. Note that content that works by contrast shows up immediately and takes a second only.
If you look at the screen shots, this is direct play, and the amount of data the server is sending to the client is crazy (is it trying to download the whole thing before playing??). The file itself is only 850 MB. It plays fine in VLC. I'd be happy to upload the content itself if someone wants to take a look. Also note that I had already deleted my 'Codec's folder and it redownloaded them but the content still has the issue.
Media info: https://pastebin.com/1JfnHbW0
Plex dashboard: https://imgur.com/a/ulXcdAG including Tautulli screenshot (and plex logs)
As for Plex logs, it does show errors, but from googling they seem to be somewhat common and doesn't seem to reference this content attempting to be played (please correct me if I'm wrong) and again, it does play after 2 minutes of seemingly doing nothing except sending huge amounts of data over the network.
In case it matters:

- CPU very low, server is not working hard at all to serve this content - Linux office 6.5.0-35-generic #35-Ubuntu SMP PREEMPT_DYNAMIC Fri Apr 26 11:23:57 UTC 2024 x86_64 x86_64 x86_64 GNU/Linux - sudo snap info plexmediaserver ..etc.. plexmediaserver: simple, enabled, active snap-id: 85SmCU9pNtVq5DHmKJwbZsgbNqkG7wPR tracking: latest/stable refresh-date: 31 days ago, at 22:04 EDT channels: latest/stable: 1.40.2.8395-c67dce28e 2024-04-18 (436) 91MB - latest/candidate: ↑ latest/beta: ↑ latest/edge: ↑ installed: 1.40.2.8395-c67dce28e (436) 91MB - 

Help!!!

stealing u/epiccabbage123 idea, feel free to ask any questions!!
FALL 2020
Adam Kane- WR120, first year writing, nonsense fiction. very fun class honestly with a lot of interesting discussions, and super interesting and thought provoking material with very interesting perspectives. recommend
Laura Brusetti- LI111, first sem italian, fun professor but tbh i was just in the class for lang requirement, but made learning the language easy and didn’t put a ton of pressure. recommend
Dan Dill- CH101, gen chem 1, i mean everyone knows dill what do i say, took it online which made it a lil easier tbh but i guess that may depend who you talk to. talks really slow and i felt like the book explained concepts better than he did
Mark Howe- NE101, intro to neuroscience, this class moves pretty fast and is very content packed, also took it online. i really enjoyed this class since i was super interested, but could be tough if you’re not. don’t think he teaches this class anymore tho (take it with gobrogge in the summer if he still does that!)
SPRING 2021
Walter Hopp- PH248, existentialism, idk this is where i found out academic philosophy wasnt for me, but jf you’re interested in the subject you’d probably like it, remember doing some kant and nietzche but i stopped reading the material halfway through the class tbh
Rita Cote- LI112 (2nd sem italian), LI211 (3rd sem), more difficult professor people say but tbh if you pay attention to the questions she asks they are the same she puts on oral exams and paper tests so just write them down in class and prepare an answer (if she hasn’t changed how she teaches)
Lucia Pastorino- NE102, Intro to cell and molecular bio, really great professor but i didn’t get to take her courses outside of this one and it was online, so i didn’t get to know her that well. class was great tho and she is a great lecturer, neuro department is great here. recommend
Binyomin Abrams- CH102, gen chem 2, explained things better than dill but still found the best help was reading the textbook, honestly just taught myself that one
Kyle Gobrogge- NE102 Lab, NE203 Lab (Principles of Neuro), NE456, the absolute goat, i love him to death. probably my favorite professor i’ve had and a huge part of what makes the neuro department great. truly cares about all his students and is willing to talk about anything and everything. will push you to reach your potential and it feels like he truly believes in you. he will open doors for you if you really want, and you can get anywhere you want if you want to work for it, he will offer paths to publish papers, undertake whatever experiment you can come up with that he has the facilities to support. they run a lab as well called the gobrogge teaching lab where he gave me access to whatever resources he could to come up with experiments and do whatever i wanted with them. very low pressure on the research as well, it truly felt like a perfect learning experience and through him i was able to start learning how to actually undertake research. take their sex and aggression class, it’s something everyone should be exposed to at some level and gives you an opportunity to talk about topics on human sexuality, neuroscience, philosophy, psychology, sociology, anything and everything freely and openly. i could go on for a while about them. highly highly recommend take any classes they’re teaching
FALL 2021
Cote, 3rd sem Italian, above
Rebecca Kinraide- WR152, Medical debates, seemed like a class but i wasn’t super engaged tbh. she was super nice though from what i remember and i don’t have any bad things to say about her
Jeff Gavornik- NE203, principles of neuro lecture, moves quick but i found it interesting, explains basic functions of the brain and builds a good foundation for future classes, he specialized in the electrical side of things so the class was slightly heavier in that aspect. felt like he explained things well though, didn’t go to office hours much so i don’t know him very well
huge shoutout to Caroline Dugan, think she is currently teaching NE203 lab which was easily my favorite lab class at BU. got to design our own experiment on fruit flies and this class has only improved since. you get access to some really powerful tools that you can do some really interesting things with. caroline was a LA when i took the class and she was always a great help, great at explaining concepts from lecture or lab and i highly recommend.
also huge shoutout to John Tullai, i didn’t have the pleasure of taking one of his classes directly since i did 203 lab under gobrogge, but every interaction I’ve had with tullai all the way through graduation has been great. another huge part of what makes the neuro department great, great person and great teacher. highly recommend.
Tracy Dunne- PS101, intro to psych, she was good but i wasn’t always super engaged and honestly wish i did a different minor. great professor though with interesting lectures and funny stories, i’d recommend if you are looking at this class
SPRING 2022
Zeynep Demiragli- PY105, physics 1, honestly felt like she went over some concepts a little too quick and found reading textbook to be really helpful to supplement, but was super nice and seemed to care about her students a lot.
David Somers- NE202, Intro to Cognitive neuro, this class was also interesting and he brought up a lot of interesting experiments, definitely have to study for this one. his lectures were engaging enough imo but not standout. recommend
Arash Yazdanbakhsh- NE212 (Intro to Matlab), NE204 (Intro to Computational Neuroscience), both classes are matlab, expects his students to do well and put in effort but is also more than willing to explain things to the most minute detail and repeat whenever you’re confused. go to office hours and ask questions, exams are open note and open internet as well so take notes and use them. his lecturing style is a bit different than most, instead of directly telling you information he tries to lead you there with questions and student input. he wants you to try to make the steps that people discovering these things did and think about everything is presented, he will give you all the information you need. recommend
FALL 2022
Paul Trunfio- PY106, physics 2, loved this man honestly, he wants his students to do well and will explain and answer any questions you have. gave great lectures and very accessible but also felt textbook material/assigned work pretty helpful. recommend
Brett DiBenedictis- NE333, drugs and behavior, really interesting class and he is a great lecturer, but the professors for this class change all the time. he gives a lot of detail and a very wide perspective outside of just how drugs work, but also touches on how they’ve impacted society. recommend if you get the chance
Steve Ramirez- NE337, Memory Systems, this man is incredible and i wish i got to interact with him more. leads a really interesting lab as well doing sick memory research. learned a ton in this class about how human memory works, things that can apply outside of just neuro knowledge but you can apply to your life. engaging lectures, funny professor with great stories and is great at explaining concepts. highly recommend.
Alice Cronin-Golomb- NE338, neuropsychology, learned some really interesting information in this class and she brought in some interesting guest lecturers. great lecturer herself, can expect a lot but is very informative. recommend.
SPRING 2023
Andrey Vyshedskiy, MET BI366, Neurobiology of Consciousness and Imagination, this guy is a genius, like seriously. go read his book, titled on the origin of the human mind, especially if you are interested in neuro and human evolution. he proposes a super interesting theory on what makes humans unique and is doing some really interesting research trying to examine his theory. unfortunately idk if you can get into this class anhmore unless you are in MET, and i took this class with 4 other people. super super interesting though and really pushed my understanding of the brain but also began to build a much more holistic overview of how the cortex works and how humans can do what we do. highly highly recommend and seriously read his book if you’re interested in this kind of thing.
Rachel Denison- PS222, perception, she seemed like a super sweet woman but i didn’t enjoy the class much, felt very surface level and memorization based honestly and i wasn’t engaged. also didn’t let students leave the classroom after finishing midterm/final until the whole allotted time was up even if you finished early so idk what that was about?
Michael Lyons- PS371, psychopathology, again i wish i did a different minor but old psych white guy vibes, seemed fine enough but lectures weren’t very engaging and felt like they consisted of either some random story that was only slightly related or reading off entries in the DSM
Stephen Prothero- RN106, Death and Immortality, this was the last class that he taught but i would recommend if i could. didn’t read much of the material but lectures were interesting and discussion based, even with a large class. impressed how they managed that tbh. recommend this class for more than just hub recs even tho we all know that’s what you’re taking it for
FALL 2023
Kyle Gobrogge, NE456, above
Kevin Barents/Jeremy Yudkin MH408/AM336, bob dylan: music and words, love these guys, lowkey penn and teller vibes but very interesting professors. class is super fun, listen to bob dylan and discuss his music, influence, life, ideas, whatever. recommend
Meg Younger- NE520, Sensory Neurobiology, great class and great professor. not only do you get to look at the groundbreaking discoveries in sensory neurobio, she teaches you how to read and digest scientific articles and prepares you to move into a lab. runs her discussion sections like a lab would run a journal club which i found super helpful. also will always engage with student feedback and is willing to challenge students if she doesn’t feel like we are putting in enough effort. really enjoyed her class and teaching style, this was a smaller class that allowed for open discussion and lots of perspectives. she also runs a really interesting mosquito lab investigating olfaction, so she has some really interesting insights there. highly highly recommend.
Kevin Gold, DS110, intro to Data Science with Python, good professor and chill dude, didn’t go to office hours so i didn’t know him much. cool class tho, helpful information to know and a good beginyning exposition to python and data science. recommend.
SPRING 2024
Arash Yazdanbakhsh, NE204, above
Leonidas Kontothanasis, DS210, Programming for Data Science, difficult and demanding class but good professor, gives some interesting stories in office hours and fun to talk to. good lectures but definitely need to do some reading outside of lecture as well. his class began to spark my interest in programming. recommend.
Tanima Chatterjee- DS120, Foundations of Data Science, seemed like a great professor but honestly i didn’t attend lecture much, seemed super nice from her recordings and didn’t actually require lecture attendance, gave really detailed lecture notes that were super easy to teach myself from. class itself was just basic topics in probability, proofs and logic, calculus, and linear algebra, i didn’t find it too difficult. she’s good at explaining concepts and if i didn’t take this class as a second semester senior i probably would have been more engaged. recommend.

So,
I’ll admit, I’m a huge fanboy of TiviMate. I love everything about it. EXCEPT dependable recording to an external hard drive.
I’ll start by saying I am lower user, and love to learn the ins and outs of everything to a point of overkill. I have no issue spending hours and hours trying to resolve a simple issue that probably isn’t an issue in the first place. Thank you, ADHD.
My setup is a 2019 Nvidia Shield Pro 2019 with a 2TB Samsung SSD attached via USB.
My provider offers a great catchup plan, so I am not too worried about record tons of stuff all of the time, so when I DO need it, I want it to work reliably.
As you may already know, recording with TiviMate is very much a hit-or-miss operation.
No matter what combination of settings, or drives, or connection, or setup I use, it seems that about 85% f my TiviMate Recordings fail.
I have 5 concurrent connections allowed, so no issues there.
I’m well aware that any small bit of buffering or “glitching” will send TiviMate into fit when it’s recording and the recording is almost always cancelled or stopped right at that moment. It’s the worst feeling ever sitting down to play an hour long episode you’ve been waiting to watch, only to find that TiviMate says that the recording is 8 minutes long. Oof!
I’ll continue on…
I have tried Sparkle Player in the past, and liked it, but since I was such a heavy user of TiviMate, I didn’t see any reason to have two similar programs running - so I stopped trying that out and stuck with TiviMate. It should be noted that I never bothered testing the recording setup in Sparkle Player as I assumed ALL similar apps would lose/cancel a recording when there was a small buffe“glitch” in the stream - since occasional buffering (even as good as one second ever few hours) is simply the nature of the beast with the current state of the providers we use.
I simply figured recording was the same across the board, and that was just gonna have to be accepted.
UNTIL RECENTLY….
The other day, I came across a random post where someone said something as simple and to the point as “…Sparkle Player does a great job of continuing recording even when a program pauses or buffered - unlike TiviMate.”
I was so fed up recently with TiviMate bot being reliable, that the above statement was enough for me to give it t another shot - this time, a deep dive, needed.
I installed Sparkle Player once again (paid for the license to enable all features, obviously), and set up a bunch of recording. Spaces out as well as some overlapping. There’s even the option to record an entire series now, thanks to latest update.
Well, slap my ass and spit in my mouth - NO ISSUES AT ALL WITH SPARKLE TV RECORDINGS. I’m pretty sure I screamed like a little school girl when I saw that all my recordings were full-length and played back perfectly.
I couldn’t believe it. I’m now just recording random stuff for fun since it’s so satisfying that it actually worked. The ONLY issue that I saw was, there was one show I recorded that was an hour long. The next day, I say that there were two partial recordings that were each about 10 minutes long. I felt devastated, lol. BBUTT, lo and behold, right next to those two entries was a third entry for that recording that was the FULL length and was perfect. If Sparkle Player uses some sort of Voodoo to accomplish this, that’s fine with me.
That’s all, I figured that since so many people are into trying to record things that this thread would be of some assistance.
For what it’s worth, I always see the creator u/sparkle-hk poking around Reddit and responding to posts and working on updates. The TiviMate creator may very be that was as well, but I don’t recall seeing it myself.
Thanks for reading,
Rock On!

I don’t know where to start with this. There is so much and I’m pretty sure this is above reddits paygrade. I just don’t know where to turn too. I (38f) have been with my fiancé’ (38m) for almost 4 years now. I love him but I think I want out of the relationship. I can’t imagine being with someone else but I also cant imagine doing this for my entire life. There is so much to go over but I’m pretty sure at the end of this I am a huge double triple huge asshole for how I feel. I won’t make excuses. All I’ll say is that this has been happening long before we got to here. There is a lot of context but the first thing I guess I should address is that we both have chronic health issues. His is much more life threatening if not maintained but for the most part is healthy. He rarely gets sick but when he does it’s pretty bad. He has a rare form of anemia that is only treatable by lifelong steroid use or bone marrow transplant. I always keep up with his health and his hemoglobin levels are good but I don’t schedule his apps or attend all visits. He does all that. About a year and a half ago transplant talk was put on the table and he was vehemently against it. But after about a year he realized there wasn’t a choice his meds aren’t working anymore. I’ve always asked if hes in pain or struggling he makes it very clear he is fine and that he would tell me if he wasn’t. I am super aware of when things look off, or if he looks really pale. I always ask questions and when I do go to the doctors apps I pay attention.
I have an autoimmune disorder. It varies from being annoying as fucking hell to down right painful and I can’t walk. He has been less than sympathetic to just down right making fun of me. He’s told me I need to live in a bubble to you’re always sick, to what doesn’t hurt on you. Not much dude. Not much. To be clear I don’t whine, I don’t miss work unless is unavoidable, I went to work with Flu A, B and covid before I almost out right couldn’t set up. I’ve had full blown asthma attack on the bed and in-between breathes asked for him to get the nebulizer because I didn’t have a rescue inhaler anymore. My daughters cat laid on me because I was so sick and doing the treatment and while most cats love me, I’m not this cats favorite but even he was like mom needs me. He looked annoyed and thought I was being dramatic. It wasn’t until the doctor told me I was super mega sick that he relented. Im on immunosuppressants and I have two small school age kids who are walking petri dishes, I catch a lot. Its not for a lack of trying no too. One of the biggest I have a bad tendency to get yeast infections, its chronic and not entirely unavoidable. Sex is a huge factor in this and it’s a snow ball effect, it starts with a yeast infection that blooms in to a full on UTI then my lichen Sclerosis flares, and lots and lots of sex exacerbates these issues. He likes to bring up the first year we were together that we had a lot of sex but we didn’t live together and had to many days apart. I spent 100s of dollars on yeast meds and suppositories. I still ended up in urgent care for a UTI that caused a fever so high they were convinced I was septic. I wasn’t but I felt super awful. When we moved in together the sex things seem to bother him more. He had issues with all the things wrong and I tried to explain and give him things to read but it seemed to fall on deaf ears. We fought about it constantly. We had full blown arguments over sweatpants and sexy clothing. To when he actually told me unless I wore sexy panties sex didn’t matter to him. He apologizes after but I know that he meant what he said. I’ve never lied to him about any thing, I’m not an overly sexual person and not usually open about being attracted to someone but I have tried to meet him halfway. I knew my illness was causing a lot of problems so I tried so hard to be better. I had gained a lot of weight from steroid use so I went and got help to loose the weight, Ive lost like almost 80lbs. Ive gotten down to only one suppressant medication. But the skin issues still linger. I was told there wasn’t much I could do about it. I’ve gone to the doctor multiple times just for this issue. I’ve tried supplements and boric acid suppositories. Its helped but not enough to really notice. We just had to make changes to the way we have sex, we are still having it 2-3 times a week but we have to have days in-between and we have to minimize sperm contacting my skin. I was also diagnosed with seminal plasma hypersensitivity which is common with my skin disorders and it is an allergic reaction. But I have to put a huge wall up for spontaneous sex which is a huge bummer and he is 100% reliant on me being the one that’s spontaneous. Which he doesn’t think is fair. I understand all that but I’ve explained if sex hurt him or caused the issues I’ve had you’d understand why I have to do it this way. There have been times where I’ve had issues and had to abstain for sex or a week but It’s never been much longer than that and he’s constantly asking if its better or if we can do it. He rushes care and a lot of times I’m reinfected or I just never went away cause its never had time to heal. The only time he doesn’t press as bad is when I’m on my period and even then he makes comments about putting a towel down. He talks about sex constantly, asks for blow jobs when I can’t and insists on trying to lick me when I’m not in the mood. When someone has a yeast infection they aren’t thinking about anything going anywhere near this vag, they are uncomfortable and wished they could rip it off and throw it away. I have counted how many times hes brought up having sex in an hour and the most he’s done it is 23 times the least is 8. He can’t have a conversation with me without bringing it up. I could be talking about something completely different and he’ll go we doing it today? Completely off topic. ITs so much worse now that hes going to have to have transplant and has to go at the very least 30days with out sex. The first questions he asked whenever this was happening had nothing to do with will I live it’s been when can I have sex? He’s willing to risk my health and his health for it. I just can’t anymore. His main concern this entire time is don’t find someone else and don’t fuck anyone else. Not I love you and all of our kids, its’ been just about this and that he’s going to be ugly after the transplant. To which I could give a fuck about. I want to be clear I love him, I love having sex with him but this is just really hard to deal with. I’ve tried talking to him Ive tried expressing that this isn’t normal. He gets super defensive that why are you in a relationship for if you aren’t going to touch them and the entitlement to just grab at me has more than once sent me on edge. I’ve tried to explain it just devolves into fight where he just shuts down and says I just won’t fucking touch you period. Then spins it as I’m the one making a big deal. Its just sex.
These aren’t the only issues, we both have children from previous relationships my kids are much younger and hes jealous of the attention they get, hes so worried about me and him he doesn’t even pay attention to his own kids who are now teenagers. During this whole transplant talk hes made comments that he can’t wait to be alone and have a break from work and no kids around. His kids have heard him. All 4 are taking this super hard, he doesn’t care, he just says my kids are clingy and can’t do anything on their own. My kids are 7 and 5. I can go into more details but this would be so effing long if I did. And to be clear about this he has had these behaviors probably for the past 2 years way before we had the transplant conversations.
I know that I’m supposed to be one of his carers after the transplant. His mom will be primary as I am the main caregiver of my bio children and he will be located about 3 hours away. We were gone to testing this week and things were pretty fun we played and best friend game and for once no topics of sex came up. And it was like I got a glimpse of the person I fell in love with. But the next day it was right back to talking about sex every time he looked at me. When were seeing doctors, I had to excuse myself at one point because I realized if the roles were reversed he wouldn’t do this for me. If I lost any part of my beauty or ability to have sex this would be over. IT was so sobering and I was devastated. I tried talking to him when we got home and it caused a fight that we are still currently in. He says I’m not interested in sex every and he doesn’t try anymore cause Im never in the mood. Ive explained that constantly talking about it ruins it. Ive showed him time and time again if you just stop you get more from me. He doesn’t care. I don’t want to be his carer anymore. And I know that makes me a horrible person. Please excuse typos I am on voice text.

If you're feeling offended already from this post, I highly suggest you click off and make yourself some tea. Please do yourself that favor
[Scroll to the bottom for TDLR]
So there’s this online trend going on right now (it's sort of dying off I think, I could be wrong) where people are asking women if they’d rather be stuck alone in the forest with either a random man or a random bear.
I’ll say it again. Would these women rather be stuck ALONE in the forest with a random man or a bear? Lots of the women are picking a bear. And I also picked the bear. I asked my mom, my aunt, and my dad this question. They all said bear. And here’s why *I* personally chose to pick the bear.
First of all, it’s because God gave me permission. I’m a Christian. Literally, in the Bible, in Proverbs 17:2, it says, “It is safer to meet a bear robbed of her cubs than to confront a fool caught in foolishness” (NLT version). Even God is saying I should pick the bear. If God tells me I’m allowed to do or pick something, trust and believe I’m gonna take it.
Secondly, let’s say that Bibilicality or Christianity had nothing to do with this conversation. I’d still pick the bear and here’s why. Humans in general are completely unpredictable. Yes, a human is smart. Yes, a human could help you survive. But that’s the scary thing. Humans are incredibly freaking smart. So if that person–not just a man—wishes to kill me, abuse me, or whatever—they’re gonna find the best way to do it.
Even then, I’d rather be stuck in the woods with another woman because statistically, women commit violent crimes significantly less than men do. I’m sorry, that’s just the truth. That’s not to say that women aren’t capable of committing crimes either and there’s a chance that the rate women commit crimes is higher than we know—there’s still a consistent pattern in who predominantly commits the overwhelming majority of the crime—men.
Literally, according to the United States Sentencing Commission, women accounted for only 13.5% of crime in the U.S. during 2022 and even then, the majority of the time, those women were being arrested for drug related offenses. Not rape, not kidnapping, not sex trafficking, not murder—DRUGS. And the craziest part is that the number of women committing those crimes had not changed much at ALL during the years between 2013-2022.
If that’s still not enough for you, according to the Bureau of Prisons (BOP – an official site from the U.S. government), women only make up 6.8% of inmates in prisons, whereas men make up 93.2%. Try to discredit this all you want but at the end of the day, men are MUCH more likely to commit crimes than women. Which, by association, would also mean that women are less likely to commit VIOLENT crimes than men are.
So yeah, pardon me if I’m gonna be scared crapless to be completely alone in the woods by myself with a man I do not KNOW. If that’s the situation I’m in—where I’m completely vulnerable, by MYSELF, and civilization isn’t around because I’m STUCK in the forest—what incentive does that man have to be a good person to me (especially considering that no other witnesses are around)? HE HAS NONE.
Note that us women picking the bear is not a man-hater thing. I do not hate men as a whole. But I am cautious of men. I have men in my life that I love and admire like my father, my brothers, and my cousins. If I was plopped in the woods with any of them, I would be 100% fine with it. But if you’re seriously asking me to be stuck ALONE by myself with a random guy, I may as well be playing Russian roulette with my life. A bear is predictable. Humans are not. I am built like a string bean, I cannot fight. So if a man chooses to cripple me for whatever reason, I’m done for.
When it comes to women picking the bear, it’s not necessarily us thinking that the bear is inherently ‘safer.’ We know the bear could eat us. All we’re doing is choosing which worst-possible outcome we’d rather deal with should that worst-possible situation show up. The worst thing a bear can do is kill you. You wanna see the worst a man can do? Search up the Junko Furuta case and then get back to me. Even then, there's probably some sicko who managed to rival THAT.
Don’t even try to act obtuse on the subject, boys. Because I know for a fact that when y’all have daughters, wives, girlfriends, cousins, sisters, etc—and they’re out somewhere late at night, you tell them, “Get home safe.” Safe from what? A bear? (LOL)
You guys know full well how dangerous other men are. That’s why you tell the women in your life not to wear certain stuff. Not to go out late at night. Not to go anywhere alone. Because you know full and dang well that other men are flipping crazy and I’m tired of being gaslit from you guys wanting to play dumb to suit your narrative.
The fact you guys are THIS pressed about a HYPOTHETICAL situation, insulting us and whatnot, is only proving our point. You are the exact type of man we wouldn’t wanna be in the woods with.
If a bear attacks us, it’s not doing it out of malice. It’s doing it because it sees the woman as a threat. If it’s a female bear attacking you, it’s because you were too close to her babies. If it’s a male bear attacking you, he’s most likely hungry. With men (or humans in general), you cannot predict them. There’s actually MORE protocols and steps you can take to avoid or prevent a bear attack. But there is absolutely NOTHING you can do in this situation to prevent the other human from wanting to harm you—especially if they’ve already chosen to do so.
If you’re a dude and still pissed off that we chose the bear, I hope God gives you more empathy when it comes to women and their struggles. Maybe then you’ll understand the reason why God ALSO says we should pick the bear.
Peace.
TLDR: I'd pick the bear because a bear is more predictable than a man, and even then, worst-case scenario---I'd rather be killed by a bear than be subjected to whatever sick intentions a RANDOM man could potentially have. Because humans are unfortunately very creative when it comes hurting each other. Bears are not.

What’s in the closet, Kirsty?
He knew I hid a secret.
I smiled, tried to look confused.
He waited, crossing his arms.
I worried that he'd already seen. He had.
What else could he think about the pile?
His wife’s a cheater. She has another life. Another husband. Children.
He’d never believe the truth: I’m not a cheater; there’s no other life; no other man; I don’t know who the children are who visit me at night.
But I did have a secret. And maybe it’s fair to say another life, even if was smaller and against my will.
I should have destroyed those frames, burned the photos within. Now it looked like I saved them, cherished them. The truth couldn’t be farther. I feared to touch anything to do with… whatever they are…with one exception.
“It started last Halloween,” I said to George, my husband, my real husband.
He stopped packing for a moment, working out the impossibility of this statement. “I’m taking the girls to my parents.” He resumed the tossing of shirts, pants, etc. into our big suitcase.
“It’s true,” I said, but weakly. The children in the picture are at least six and four respectively. They were born six months ago.
“They’re not… my kids,” I said of the boys in the photos. They’re not kids is what I almost said.
George stopped and squeezed the bridge of his nose between thumb and forefinger. “Kirsty,” he said slowly, “there are baby pictures. I saw them.”
“That’s-”
He quickly raised his finger, exasperated, angry, done.
“The first picture is you holding a newborn, and…” He swallowed painfully, his throat gone dry. It always does when he’s upset. “And the father in that picture, with his arm around you, isn’t me.”
When I couldn't deny it, he nodded like he knew all along our marriage would end.
We were happy. We really were. George and I had managed to overcome the typical breakdown that often comes with raising children. Only since last Halloween had distance been made by me.
I should have told him as soon as it started.
“Girls!” he called as I followed him down the stairs to the front hall of our lovely home. We’d scrimped and sacrificed to buy and keep this place, our dream by the lake. He’d been so proud. I couldn’t tell him I wanted to leave the first night sleeping there.
Cara and Ella protested through play, ignoring the adults, continuing to jump on an old box they’d long since flattened. Rays from the western sun placed my daughters into an inspired, hallowed light, and I started to cry. He was going to take my babies away.
George opened the door, intending, I’m sure, to drop the suitcase in the car before returning to physically carry the girls out.
But he hesitated in the doorway.
“George?”
The suitcase fell with a solid thud on the floor. “There’s no way,” he said.
“What?”
“There’s no way,” he said, with emphasis on the last word, “you would have had time for…this…”
Not defining "this" as cheating was progress. “Yes!”
He glared, quieting my desperate enthusiasm. I wasn’t off the hook. “Tell me. The truth.”
“I can’t.”
He reached for the suitcase.
“No, not because I don’t want to,” I protested. “I don’t know what’s happening!” I sat on the carpeted steps and stared through blurred vision at my trembling hands. The shriek I’d filled the house with - “happening!” - had put a halt to the box's obliteration. Cara and Ella hesitated for a few seconds before leaping into action.
Cara, the oldest, six, punched her dad in the buttocks. “You have to be nice!”
Ella, four, sat beside me and patted my trembling hands. “It’s okay, mummy.”
Such lovely daughters. Nothing like the boys in those photos when they were this age.
George grasped Cara's wrists and gently walked her back into the house, using his foot to kick the suitcase from the swing of the front door.
"It's alright, girls," he said with weak resolve. "Go and play."
"No!" Cara shouted. She kicked at her father and he pulled her close into a bearhug. Gradually, the girls calmed and were convinced to return to the box in the front room.
"Kirsty," George said, "you have to tell me." He sat down on the step beside me. "Please." I would do anything to take away the hurt in his eyes. "Please."
"I can't. But… I can write it down. Maybe." I took out my phone. We shared Google Drive. When I made a new document, he reluctantly started his phone. The man was a dream. He watched his screen, and waited patiently for my words to appear.
Without preamble, I returned to the awful moment when it all began: a strange and disturbing dream. Words came like an infection from beneath a torn scab. The wound had been opened. Nothing could stop this now.
Sex with another man has never been a desire of mine. I love George. He loves me.
Plus, the man in my dream was a stranger, and not particularly handsome. He has a plain face set to unwavering boredom and unkempt male pattern baldness. Our dream sex felt obligatory, just something we had to do.
I awoke on the wrong side of midnight. November 1st and I was craving ice cream instead of the girls' gathered candy. The freezer left by the previous homeowners came with unopened ice cream. Freezer burned or not, I wanted some.
After retrieving a spoon from the kitchen, I intended to destroy a brick of neopolitan. He waited in his flannel pajamas, barefoot on the concrete floor. His arms were crossed.
"Cravings?" he said.
I dropped the spoon. It clattered down the basement steps. Before I could run away, he disappeared like someone had erased him from head to foot in one clean sweep.
Had to be a dream. That's what I told myself. The spoon stayed in the basement until daylight. Ghost or nightmare, there was laundry to do the next day.
I crossed the concrete floor fast and only felt safer when I'd closed the door to the more modern laundry room. Never thought builder's grade tiles and track lights would make me feel anything but sad.
His voice caught me sorting.
"Kirsty!"
I dropped the cup of detergent all over the floor.
"Shit."
I came out of the laundry room, figuring George had been looking for me in uncharacteristically rude fashion. He hated speaking between rooms. Shouting throughout the house was highly impolite. It must have been important, I figured.
As soon as I stepped onto the bare concrete, however, deep sadness, the kind that seems to physically leech the strength from your body, dominated the room.
"Hello?" I don't know why I said that. The basement is a low ceilinged rectangle. There are no hiding spots except for the laundry room I'd come from. After a deep breath, I walked briskly to the stairs.
"Any day now," a raspy voice breathed into my ear. I jolted and slipped forward, falling and clipping my chin off a step. It made my teeth click painfully. Nobody there, of course. I ran upstairs and George had gone outside with the girls to play hide and seek.
I wanted to tell him. He looked so happy. It's hard to convey in words the kind of smile he showed me through the window. Imagine contentment mixed with unreserved joy and hope. Yes, it's difficult to picture. So few of us can ever have such a moment. Sort of like finding a natural view completely untouched by humanity. Beyond rare and precious.
I’m rambling now to avoid writing about what followed. The point is I couldn’t tell him. I hoped it’d go away and stop.
But, of course, it didn’t, and things got much worse.
I awoke in a great deal of pain. Having already given birth to children, the feeling was familiar. Despite getting up and gasping, George continued to snore in our bed. He’s a deep sleeper, but a quick and early riser. I’ve never heard him complain about getting out of bed either, especially when there’s an emergency.
I might have woken him up but I was disoriented and confused. Part of me believed I was still pregnant with Ella. It wasn’t until I’d gone all the way to the kitchen to avoid waking up the girls, that my brain caught up: Girls. Plural. Ella was asleep in her bed upstairs.
“Ohhhhhhhh shiiiiiiiiiiit.” I knew the signs of labour. This couldn’t be happening. “Ohhhhhhhhh.”
I was definitely going to wake everyone up if this continued.
My phone was upstairs by my bedside table. We don’t have a landline. I should have called 911. I should have woken up George.
Instead, I went downstairs where I could vocalize pain without disturbing anyone. Such a pathetically passive response. But that’s how I was raised. Keep it down, don't you frown.
His hands seized mine as soon as I descended the last step. Serious and bald without dignity is how to best describe his physical appearance. Cold and cruel is what he is. The lights turned off and, in the perfect darkness of the basement, he was all that I could see.
He produces a red light from his body somehow but his touch is literally frosty.
"Kristy, it's time," he said. No joy there. Just straight facts. Something was coming. I was going to give birth to it. In the dull red glow of his being, the first boy came.
"His name is Hadad," the man said, placing a large, infant boy with a lot of hair and, I swear, a hint of beard, on the bare concrete. Hadad looked like a three month old they use as newborns on TV. He didn't cry. He hardly seemed to breathe as his dark eyes roamed the darkness. His light resembled the man's, a less intense red.
I felt another contraction, and winced.
"She comes next," the man said.
I felt so weak. "Who are you?" I asked him.
At last, he smiled and I wished he hadn't. It made me feel small, insignificant, and beneath his concern. "You know who I am," he said. "I'm your husband."
Pain wracked my entire body. Something didn't feel right. The birth of Cara and Ella had been without difficulty.
"Push," my "husband" ordered. "She is upset with you, and will kill you if you don't get her out now."
"It has to be a nightmare," I told him. Sweat poured in streams down my face. The unborn "she" in question writhed and damaged my insides. I screamed. I couldn't help it.
"Push!"
I obeyed and the second boy spilled onto the bare concrete, coated in blood and dust.
"It's a boy," I said.
The man looked displeased. "The body is male. She is Hebat. No wonder she is angry." Like the other infant, Hebat appeared aware of her surroundings and had far too much motor control for a newborn. The light pouring from her body was dull silver. Her eye sockets were two pits of concentrated despair. I had to look away.
The babies were pressed into my arms.
The man stretched out beside me. "Open your eyes and smile." I resisted. "Do it. Now." What choice did I have? The flash from his cell blinded me. They were all gone by the time my sight recovered. Only the sweat remained as evidence of the ordeal.
It had to have been a hallucination. Some very bad food poisoning maybe. The source could be as simple as an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of underdone potato. I had been stress eating since we'd moved in. I stood up and took some comfort in a Charles Dickens' reference.
"More of gravy than of grave about you," I said. My words seemed consumed by the dreadful weight of the air. "Whatever you are."
Whatever you are: something bad in any case. At best, I'd hallucinated prolonged and traumatic labour and needed medical attention. Yet, when I limped up the basement stairs, all thoughts of waking George vanished. There on the kitchen island sat a propped frame containing the photograph taken only moments ago.
The man looked happy. Only Hadad appeared in this picture, which meant another one was somewhere. I didn't panic. I worried more about what George would think if he saw the photos. I had to find them all.
Hebat and his father and I were mounted in a dark wood frame by the master bedroom. It'd be the first thing anyone saw if they woke up. I plucked it off the wall and, together with the first photo, tucked it under some blankets in the dresser we'd shoved in the small walk-in closet.
You might not believe this, but I went straight to sleep after. I climbed under the blanket in my sweaty pajamas, shut my eyes, and didn't have enough time to deny what had happened. I was unconscious until morning.
George placed a coffee on my nightstand. That's what I remember. He rubbed my feet while I slowly awoke. The girls were watching TV downstairs, munching on apple slices. There was forty minutes still before we had to seriously consider getting ready to take Cara to school.
George would drop her off on his way to work downtown. He chose his hours and always chose convenience for his wife and kids. Ella and I planned to spend the morning gardening. Then we would nap much of the afternoon away until George and Cara returned. A life so perfect is so very rare.
I didn't want to spoil things with a very convincing nightmare. Besides, I felt fine. Not so good that I wanted to look in the dresser to see if those photos really were there, but not ill. So I remained silent again.
November started fine. Idyllic days and nights filled with laughter and joy and television. Just as I started to believe in the dream we'd made, they came again.
The wail of a child's hunger is a powerful call for a parent. When it's a chorus, even of two, it cannot be ignored. Only I awoke to Hadad and Hebat's cries for their "mother" from the basement.
Half asleep, I drifted into the kitchen and searched for their milk bottles. When no bottles could be found, I remembered they were newborns. Milk swelled in my breasts and made my nipples ache. Just like when Cara or Ella would awaken in the night. It was a relief to feed them.
But what the fuck was I doing?
I was acting like the man in the basement and the devil babies were mine. It'd been less than a week since Halloween and that horrible nightmare illusion. I had already taken on the beleaguered newborn mother role without question.
Their cries intensified and flayed the weak resistance of exhausted reasoning.
Don't wake George. Don't wake my babies, my real babies.
"What took you so long?" the man critized, his voice monotone, the question unrhetorical.
"I… was sleeping. I went to the fridge first." Under his severe gaze, I stopped in the midst of the dark room. Hadad had quieted. Hebat cooed as if laughing at her own joke. I couldn't see them because the lights were off. They liked the dark better. Somehow I knew that about them and him.
"You should sleep down here," he said. "A mother should always be close to her babies."
The statement was nonsense but not altogether wrong. I wanted to be close to my babies, the daughters sleeping in bliss upstairs, away from the evil fermentation in the basement.
"Kirsty," he said. "Are you listening?" His hand touched the small of my back. The gentleness surprised me. I squawked and flinched away. "What’s wrong with you? They're hungry." He pressed on my shoulders until I sat on the cold floor.
They came from the shadows, already walking. I wanted to go, but I knew he wouldn't allow it. He pulled my cat t-shirt off over my head and their fierce mouths suckled, relieving the pressure of excess breast milk quickly. It felt physically good and psychologically alien.
I looked down at them once and immediately regretted it. Their emanated light had intensified to a point where perception of them hurt.
Each time I blinked my eyes were drawn to some isolated part of their bodies. The vision got closer to the point of disgust. Everything is gross if you're close enough. There is no beauty under a microscope. If you think there is then you're not using the right magnification.
Hebat's eye drew me in. At first, I saw the dark sphere, and then the strands of her eyelashes. Her gravity kept pulling until the creatures that live in eyelashes were revealed: Demodex folliculorum. I looked the microscopic horrors up.
The babies had more parasites than any child should. They wanted to show me and could somehow do so.
I asked him about it. "Why are they showing me these worms?"
He smiled, contemptuously as usual. "Trying to impress mother. Neither of them understand your horror and insignificance. You are the ant who knows they're an ant. Lucky you. They think you will be proud of the life their corporeal forms produce and host. Give them a few hours. It will pass."
"Why are you doing this to me?"
"I'm not sure what you mean. We're married. Now, prepare to smile." His cell reappeared and I noted the lack of features; it might have been a singed rectangle of spent firewood. He frowned when I failed to smile. "Smile, Kirsty. These are your children."
I managed to stave off the tears and hold the babies close. The smile was more difficult. In the inevitable aftermath of their sudden disappearance, the frames depicted an exhausted, wrinkly woman smiling painfully. It took a second to recognize myself.
The things in the basement sapped my strength. I looked dehydrated, beleaguered. The scale in the bathroom said I'd dropped six pounds. I'd weighed myself the morning before.
"Whoa, you've lost weight," George noted, thinking I'd be pleased. "This place has been so good for us, eh?'
To produce another smile proved as draining as the previous night. "Y-yes," I stuttered too late for him to ignore.
"Hey," he said, touching my forearm.
I flinched.
"Whoa, you okay? What's wrong?"
I should have told him. "Nothing. Bad sleep. A nightmare. I'll be fine."
A lie is an agreement. George wanted to agree, I think. He wanted life to be fine because he was happy for once. We struggled so hard before we came to Bridal Veil Lake. It was supposed to be our dream.
Guilty if I told him the truth. Guilty because I didn't. I began to resent his happiness, though he had done nothing but be the wonderful man he'd always been.
To Cara and Ella I became a body in motion, No brain left to guide them away from harm or answer their questions about nature and the universe.
"I don't know." That's what I told them often.
So they began to treat me like a kind of butler.
"Can I have some juice, please?"
"Sure, sweetheart."
"Mommy, can I have a snack?"
"Of course." And I'd run off to fetch it.
"Cookies."
"Yes, dear."
When Christmas came, I had two and they induced the same level of joy. Visiting the basement to feed and nurture Hebat and Hadad became a nightly occurrence. I'd learned to awaken, if I could get to sleep at all, and go quietly.
He berated me severely if I missed a night, and there were subtle threats made casually.
"I may have to squash you yet," he said, his tone as deep and cold as always.
"It won't happen again," I promised. "They’re getting big." In fact, they were no longer infants. Both had grown to the approximate age of six or seven in a few months. Still, they never spoke. Their dark eyes watched me as they ate food from the kitchen upstairs, food I'd hidden from my family.
"More meat," the man demanded.
"Of course." And I ran to the freezer and gave them frozen sausages in the package. They never complained or demanded the food be prepared a different way. No objections from my "husband" either.
Hebat tore the styrofoam and plastic wrap away and flattened the row of sausages stuck together between powerful molars. Hadad contented itself with licking them like a popsicle.
I'd stay until the photo. Then they'd release me by vanishing. Always with an exhausted breath, I'd trudge up the stairs and search for the frames and hide them in the same place.
They only smiled in the pictures. At no other time did they express any kind of emotion unless indifference counts.
My own children and husband weren't doing much better. Their concerns about my fatigue and ruminating slowly ceased as I repeated the excuse: I’m just tired. It'll pass.
Of course, I did not know when the nightmare would stop.
"When will it end?" I asked him one night, while Hebat and Hadad exercised like they had a mission.
"What do you mean?" he said.
I was surprised he answered. He usually didn't. "This. This. When can I go back to normal and not come down every night? I'm so very tired."
He frowned and I thought some punishment must be coming. Instead, he looked more confused. "I don't understand. You aren't happy? Your children grow into power and strength and will take their place in the world. They will be great and you - you, of all the tiny things, made that happen. Ask yourself what you want out of life, and see if Hebat and Haddad aren't your answer."
Too many words, all at once, for an exhausted mother. I didn't speak for the rest of the night. The infernal trio vanished, and the latter moments of the ritual I carried out with his challenge in mind.
I want my children to be strong, happy, and safe.
"Juice," Cara demanded the next morning, a Saturday, while she watched cartoons.
"Get it yourself!" I hissed, from tired to angry in a second.
"But I can't," Cara accurately pointed out. She didn't look away from the TV. Looking at me wasn't safe, and she knew it. Her and Ella held hands and sat a little straighter. It broke my heart. What had I done?
George came downstairs, attracted by my shouting. "What’s going on?"
Empathy became sadness, and the constant burden rekindled to anger swiftly. "Just children treating me like a servant."
He smiled. "Ah, yes, and how are the royal princesses this morning?"
His levity irked me. "You would know if you didn't sleep in so much."
The smile vanished from his face, and instead of the fight I seemed to want, he mumbled a quiet apology and joined the girls. They climbed onto him as he wrapped them into a cuddle.
"What are we watching?" George restarted his smile, his calm, for the girls. I hated myself. It had to end. Tonight.
After another dreary day of going through the motions, and the girls and George had fallen asleep, I went to the kitchen and chose the knife I thought sharpest.
"Kirsty," he said, his voice a whisper rising from the depths of the house.
"Coming," I whispered back.
"Mom," said another voice, a girl's, and I knew that Hebat had, at last, found herself and the wholeness of her being had been corrected.
I started to cry. I went downstairs and there she was with her brother and her father. He looked tired but some of the grimness had cracked to allow the first real contentment I've ever seen him express.
"Is that for the cake?" he asked. "We already have one."
I remembered the sharp knife. "Meat," I said. "There’s ham in the freezer."
He nodded, seeming to accept the answer.
"Mom," Hebat said, "Do you think I'm…" She gestured to herself, her face, and her body, and I understood the question, born from doubt and a desire to be validated.
I pulled her close. "You are the most beautiful girl in the whole world." We cried together. Hadad cut into a poorly made, asymmetrical cake by the light of his aura. No one cared that he did so on the floor. I brought out the ham from the fridge and we ate slices with our hands.
"It's almost done," he said. "They’re nearly grown. They are strong, and they are happy. You've done a good job, Kirsty." He watched our children fight to smear icing on each other's faces. "I'm sorry if I was mean. Or cold. I've never done this before." And he meant raising children. "It was the hardest, scariest thing anyone can try. I shouldn't have blamed you for… Hebat… It wasn't your fault."
Before I could pat his hand, he and the kids vanished. Darkness so familiar couldn't extinguish a new fear. I went upstairs and found the last frame. I held my daughter in the photo, my beautiful Hebat. He must have taken the photo without my notice.
I took it upstairs but couldn't bring myself to hide it.
I didn't see that one, George wrote into the document.
I forgot he was watching.
He typed again: Are you saying there is something in the basement?
Yes, I replied.
He stirred in the living room. I hadn't moved from the stairs, but I could tell by his stomping how angry he'd become. All of his negative, violent traits he saved for those in the world who would harm his family. George the Protector was fearsome to behold.
But he had no chance against my other husband.
"Come out! Come out you coward!" George bellowed. At first, nothing happened. The moment before calamity, even when the specific consequences aren't known, is still in slow motion. He carried on shouting. The girls rushed into the hall and didn’t hesitate to investigate.
"No!" I shouted. "Cara! Ella!"
Their feet padded down the steps. A violent commotion followed, screams and raging voices, both deep and childishly shrill.
The most unsettling quiet followed.
I chewed through the fear and the horror tearing me apart and finally moved.
No evidence of violence could be seen from the top of the stairs. The concrete looked bare and dusty and the light revealed nothing more. They were gone, all of them.
"Hebat," I whispered. "Cara? George?"
Him, I thought of, the nameless husband and felt no hint of his presence. He'd always been there. I know that now. It had nothing to do with the house. His absence was felt more than his insidious presence. Yet, I felt no relief. George and the girls were gone. I sat on the floor and cried for all my missing children.
When I finally emerged from the basement, the whole house had been filled with night. Their photos were everywhere. The others were upstairs. I gathered them on the kitchen island. How could I explain any of this to the police?
I needed help. I called my parents. It took twenty minutes before my father picked up.
"Kirsty? What's wrong?"
"Dad," I whimpered. "George is gone. Cara. Ella."
"What? What did you say?"
"They’re gone, dad. George. The girls are gone."
I heard his bed springs protest as he rolled out of bed. My mom said something I couldn't hear, and he shushed her.
"Kirsty," he said, "are you alright? Are you hurt? Are you in danger?"
Why was it so hard to understand? "Dad. George is gone."
"Kirsty, who the hell is George?"
It was my turn to be confused. "He's my- you know him. My husband…"
"Kirsty," he said very slowly, "are you on drugs? Did you take something?"
"No. Are you?"
"Excuse me?"
I hung up.
I have their photos. I have all of their photos. That's what I brought to George's parents before the sun rose. They wouldn't open the door and spoke to me through an intercom.
"George is gone," I said.
"We'll call the police."
"This is your son. These are your granddaughters."
I heard my mother-in-law say, "Who is she?"
"We don't have a son," my father-in-law said. "Go away."
I left.
Back to the house. Our dream sat empty and I live there, but none of the people in my family photos are my family.
I remember but the world never does. My parents think I'm ill and that I used AI to create the family I apparently never had.
How did I buy the house without a job or income? With deep concern for my mental health, they showed me a news story. I had won the lottery the day I turned eighteen.
His influence there, payment for services rendered.
A lie is an agreement.
What had I agreed to? I'm afraid I know the answer: I never wanted a family.
God help me. God help them.
I don't know what to do with these pictures.

[First] [Previous] [Next]
Edited by WaveOfWire
- - - - -
Two days… It had been two days that Tracy had gone to sleep while Harrison was working, only to come back in the morning to see him still in the workshop. She knew he was damn productive, sure, but that really couldn’t be healthy. Apparently, it had something to do with the weird bowl of orange… soup… that Cera gave him. No way was it just caffeine; any amount of the stuff would have been filtered out of his system by now. He mentioned a tingling feeling too…
Damn, she did not know enough about drugs to even start assuming what that massive alien had Harrison fucked up on. At least the scanner said he was ‘fine’—if you ignore the other glaring issues the machine brought up. Plus, he said he didn’t mind it. Either way, he managed to complete the weaving component and a few other electrical backbones of the fabricator last night, so the project was practically done, and after seeing the engineer work himself half to death, she was dead-set on finishing it.
She was currently tits-deep into the upper manufacturing portion of the towering machine. It took a tall step-stool—on top of the nearby desk—for her to push her small shoulders through the even smaller access panels high on the everything-printer. It was difficult to fit her torso in, but she managed, holding a flashlight between her teeth as she fiddled with a stubborn series of mechanical ‘hands.’ Nothing new. The situation reminded her of the ‘shop back on Mars; it had the same ever-present scent of copper and industrial sealant. All that was missing was her dad’s ancient tunes blasting through some shitty speakers… Hold on…
The modular component in her grip was successfully attached with a resonating thock. Tracy squirmed out of the dim wire-filled crevice, trying her best to not rip her only tank-top on any bolts or corners, and getting a face-full of the bright flood-lights illuminating the workshop. She scowled and blocked out the searing light with a hand, but she was a bit too late to avoid going half-blind.
“Are the mechanical manipulators in?” Harrison grunted, poking his head out underneath the printer’s floor-adjacent maintenance hatch. She looked down at him as she tried to blink off the spots in her vision. His hair was messy, barely kept in line by his habit of combing through it with his fingers. The areas around his eyes were dark and sunken… Guess that’s what two all-nighters did to a man. He’d be seeing the hat man or start hallucinating if he didn’t get any sleep soon… but then again, the two of them were so close to finishing the fabricator…
“You bet.” She gave him a thumbs up, slamming the panel cover closed. “Feel free to test it.”
He nodded and slid back underneath the machine. “Gotcha”
She gently stepped off the stool and slid off the side of the desk, stretching herself out. If her piss-poor sitting posture or her tank-top puppies hadn’t already fucked her spine up, bending over backward to build this fabricator sure as hell would. She sat down next to the panel where Harrison resided, resting her back against the fabrication tower. Her excited voice broke the muffled noises of the engineer’s work. “So… Harrison?”
“Hmm—”
“—Mind if I play some music?”
The sounds from the hatch stopped, followed by his muffled, shocked tone echoing from beneath the fabricator. “You have music!?”
She smirked at seeing the expression on his face when his head popped out again. “I sure do… Did you seriously not download any to your data pad?”
He slipped out from beneath the fabricator fully, huffing as he took a knee beside her. The scent of melded rubber, wire, and his liquid labor reached her nose not-so-unpleasantly. “You would not believe how much of a pain it is to repair an entire barracks without it… So, yeah, I didn’t.”
“Sooooooooo, whatcha wanna listen to? I’ve got almost everything on here—besides the super niche, of course.” She pulled her data pad out, swiping to the massive music folder
“You wouldn’t like the kinda music I listen to; It’s ancient.”
She gave him a lighthearted, annoyed glare. “Welcome to the club… Now what’ll it be?”
“It’s Old Earth kind of ancient… but alright” He looked up at the ceiling in thought, lips pursed. “Do you have anything from Styx or Sweet?”
She stared at him incredulously, her smirk turning into a fully-fledged smile. “Oh my God. You are an absolute dork! You actually listen to Golden Age music?”
His brows raised, accusatory. “And you somehow know exactly who those bands were and what age of Old Earth music they came from?”
She smugly leaned in closer. “That’s because I’m just as much of a nerd with that kinda music as you apparently are.” She quickly looked upward, addressing the workshop AI. “Sebas, connect nearby speakers to my data pad’s audio.” Tracy elbowed the engineer lightly as the PA system chirped its affirmation. “Now, Mr. Golden Age music, which albums do ya want me to queue up?”
- - - - -
The two of them listened to music for hours, tossing on songs they liked as they came to mind while they worked. Harrison had a ton of recommendations that spanned all over the Golden Ages and some twenty-first century classics. She didn’t even know half of them, but she was vibing either way, adding on her own taste by intermingling some older rock tracks and newer electronic beats. The playlist was steadily built up as the day went on. Thank God her dad showed her a vast array of tunes; she might not have been able to keep up with the engineer if her old man hadn't.
It made the work go by so fast, their conversations blurring as they jumped from topic to topic. They discussed whatever came to mind—old hobbies, old jobs, and old interests. A lot was left behind in Sol… At least she knew that the only other human on the planet was more interesting than a soulless workaholic. It turned out that he was a pretty big history buff, and he apparently read a lot about the colonization of the Sol system and the various wars of independence thereafter. Curious, she asked where the interest stemmed from, and he explained that his grandfather was an admiral in the Slavic-Europan deep-ice submarine fleet, which explained how Harrison’s mother was able to afford to immigrate to Mars from Europa.
He could also play an acoustic guitar, and, unfortunately for Tracy, he wasn’t even the slightest bit interested in printing one out, citing that it was a waste of time and material that would be better used elsewhere. That didn’t stop her from writing a note on her data pad to do so later, though. She hadn’t seen someone play one of those in years—the last time was probably in some old music video from the early twenty-second century. What a shame. She would have liked to hear some of the Europan songs his grandmother taught him.
On the bright side, the man seemed to take an interest in her odd hobbies. He brought up the folder of 3D models that she accidentally uploaded to the inter-module system and asked where she got the inspiration for what was in it. Boy, was he not ready for her ‘WarHalberd40k’ lore dump. Props to the guy for not standing up and leaving the workshop throughout her rambling. He even asked questions about the different factions and their weapons, which she was more than happy to talk about.
She also ended up going over the other franchises and hobbies she was interested in, such as robotics and the like. The only interruptions to their chat were the occasional Akula or Craftsman asking for insight regarding the various tasks he had allotted to them, or Shar coming in to check up on Harrison between guard shifts.
The new dynamic of the group was pretty interesting, to say the least. Tracy hadn’t been out to interact with the whole lot of Malkrin, but she definitely noticed how they treated the engineer. They’d started to look up to him in a way ever since he started showing off technology. In a little over two days, the man had shown them that he could provide the materials for a brick house, fine clothing—especially by the alien’s standards—armor, and delicious food. That wasn’t even mentioning the other benefits the technician heard a few of the ‘banished’ talking about over their meals: heating, electric lights, and other assorted machines.
She’d be feeling pretty happy about herself if she was in his position, having so many look up to him and be grateful at the same time. He seemed to view it a lot more robotically, however, only striving to get the basics done. Luckily for him, his basics were their luxury.
That wasn’t all there was to the topic; the engineer lamented about how the colony was going through food just as quickly as materials. The meals weren’t the direct issue he had, more that he had to start focusing on long-term resource harvesting rather than directly preparing for a literal horde of monsters—which wasn’t exactly ideal. It was a good thing that they just so happened to take on an influx of Malkrin then…
Either way, they finally finished the ‘totally legal modification’ for the fabricator, meaning they could at least partially address the latter half of his worries. The whole process of ripping out an old printer and replacing the parts for a new one felt a lot easier than she imagined… even if it took her at least forty-eight hours to complete it… with help from Harrison. Maybe that was why it felt so easy… She supposed the colony overseers didn’t choose the man for no reason, so his skills made sense.
“So… what do we want to print out first?” Tracy questioned, having finished testing the last major component.
The engineer stretched his arms up into the air and rotated his shoulders, then pulled back the desk’s chair and took a seat. “I’ve had just one thing in mind since the start of this whole project.”
Her brows raised in a mix of excitement and curiosity. She leaned forward, looking at the computer monitor from over his shoulder. “Oh? What’s that, then?”
A smirk formed along his cheek, the computer mouse rapidly clicking through the blueprint folder. “I’ve had a lot of time to think about what kind of firearm we need since I started dabbling in belt-fed weapon systems.” He opened one final file, a short loading bar preceding the exploded assembly view of… “An M2 Browning machine gun. It’s more than powerful enough to kill in one shot, while also being capable of fully-automatic fire, with a capacity of however many rounds we want in a belt-box.”
“Uh…huh…” She gave a skeptical nod and took a step back, not exactly sold on the idea. “It looks ancient. It’s kinetic, right? Why aren’t we using energy-based weapons? Don’t we have a gunpowder shortage coming up?”
He moved his chair off to the side to look back at her. “We just can’t; Simple as. We’ll need who knows how many more AI cores before we can get started on that level of equipment, Trace,” he huffed, returning his gaze to the specifications of the firearm. “This isn’t the most ‘modern’ weapon we can make, but its twenty-first century counterpart helps with an improved design… somewhat. And, as I said before, it should be more than capable of killing a bug in one shot, so Shar can just tap-fire it to save ammunition.”
Her head tilted quizzically. “Shar?”
“Yup,” he returned confidently. “It’s the perfect weapon for her.”
She raised a brow. “How so?”
He held his hand up, counting his reasons on his fingers. “She’s always on the front line with a shield, she can absolutely handle the weight and recoil, her four arms make reloading it simple, plus she’ll need something with range and power that isn’t a spear. So, why not? And, if for some reason, she doesn’t want to use it, we can just convert it into a turret—which is something I was planning on doing anyways with however more M2s we print out later.”
“I doubt she’ll say no to any gun you give her,” Tracy chuckled while shaking her head, inadvertently causing her bangs to cover her eyes.
“Fair enough,” he conceded with a bob of his head. “What do you think, then? What kinda weapons do you have in mind?”
She reapplied her goggles into an impromptu hairband, feeling a smirk cross her face. “Thought you’d never ask. What purpose do we need these guns to fulfill? Hordes I’m guessing?”
“That’s the idea, yeah. That doesn’t mean they all need to be machine guns, though.” He tapped the belt-fed shotgun beside him.
“Well, lemme see what we’re working with first.” She suddenly stepped forward, leaning over Harrison’s seat to access the keyboard and mouse. Her arms briefly rubbed against him, forcing him to roll his chair backward. She suppressed a giggle at seeing his incredulous frown.
Her eyes quickly traced the hundreds of individual files, clicking through all sorts of folders, each arranged from pre-twenty-first century ‘antiques,’ to more modern iterations of kinetics and particle weaponry. There was… a lot on there—almost too much to reasonably comb through. Why? Did the colony overseers just say ‘fuck it’ and put whatever they could find on here? Were they expecting the pioneers to make a museum of everything?
She sighed, standing up straight and facing Harrison. “Y’know, I’m actually impressed you managed to find that M2-whatever in there…”
He shifted in his seat, resting an elbow on the desk. “Yup, there’s a lot. I’m almost tempted to just make several of those machine guns and just call it a day, but I feel like that’d be too much of a strain on resources, no?”
“I don’t really know enough about how you fight those spider-crab things, or how to get more gunpowder, so… maybe?” She shrugged, biting her cheek in contemplation. “You might just wanna make a few smaller caliber weapons… like, uh… those old kinetic service rifles. If your pump-action shotgun works fine, I’m sure some normal guns would work just fine for now, right?”
He hardily gripped his firearm, hauling it up to his lap. “Depends on what you mean by ‘smaller caliber.’ The whole reason why the KS-23 here works—” he pulled out a massive shell from the ammo belt, displaying it on his palm. “—is because the twenty-three-millimeter round has enough energy transfer to mess up any bug's shell and insides. I’d say the smallest rounds we could use would be point-two-forty-three caliber to get any similar results.”
Brief flickers of grungy orange shells and gnashing teeth marred Tracy’s sight. She forcibly suppressed them, distracting herself with dry humor and a strained laugh. “Guess those fuckers can really take a punch, huh?”
He shook his head somberly. “I couldn’t imagine going up against them without a gun… Anyway, I like your idea of a standard rifle for now. Then, when we have some product lines up, we can go a little more in depth into personal weapons.”
“So are you gonna take one?” She hopped up on the desk, letting her legs swing off the side.
“Don’t think so, no. I’ll stick with my shotty.” The internals of the heavily modified weapon rattled as he held it up and inspected it. “Doesn’t mean I’ll keep it as is. I’m thinking of printing a laser aiming module so I can point-fire it accurately, and maybe a melee-oriented muzzle brake or a lighter chassis to reduce weight… Not sure though.”
She leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees, her cheeks in her palms. “Melee-oriented? Oooooh, like a chain-sword or something?”
His short chuckle coerced a smirk to her face. “No, not like that. More something to use as a bludgeoning tool. Right before the blood-moon, I ended up getting just as much use out of this shotgun as a hammer than as a… well, a shotgun.”
“That’s pretty fuckin’ metal. So are you just gonna make the barrel into a giant bayonet?”
He nodded. “Not exactly a bayonet, but something more like a door-breaching break.”
A short silence settled on their conversation, the faint sounds of the fabricator’s hum and distant woodwork coming to light. Right, there was an outside world… She’d been too caught up talking to Harrison for however many hours it had been. She wondered how successful the fisherwomen were in collecting, and how things had been for the others working on the wood storage shack. Maybe it was already completed? The sun peered through the cargo bay door, proving that it was only about midday. What else would they work on today?
“Hey,” she ventured.
“Hm?” the engineer hummed, his eyes focused on the monitor beside the technician.
She scooted closer to his keyboard. “What’re we doing after this?”
“What do you mean?”
She leaned backward, propping herself up on two hands. “Project wise; what’s the next big thing?”
“Uhmmm…” he muttered, interacting with the computer for a few more seconds before finally meeting her gaze. “Well, I’ve just allocated the fabricator to print out the M2, three FALs—wood furniture, of course—then there’s the magazines and ammunition, so we’ve got a lot of time to kill. The next big thing is definitely going to be metal procurement, and— Oh, right!” Harrison stopped mid-sentence, reaching into his backpack and pulling out several finger-sized metallic cubes, a sudden fire in his eyes. “Okay, so a while ago, during an encounter with three colossi, Shar and Akula found a cave with some ‘surface’ metal deposits. I took a piece off to analyze, but never got the chance to until last night. Anyway, we don’t have any machines to examine the ore, so I made use of the recycler and broke it down to its baser components.”
She nodded along, seeing where he was going with his explanation. “I’m guessing those shiny cubes are the metals from the ore?”
“Sure is. So, as it turns out, we have a pretty damn close supply of not only iron, but also, zinc, sulfur, and a small amount of cadmium. I talked with Sebas about it and did a little research. We believe it’s something akin to sphalerite, given its composition and looks, which implies it’s a sedimentary exhalative deposit. That means there must have been some volcanic…”
Harrison continued talking about underwater deposits and ancient rock formations, bringing up some theories brought forward by the now 4-AI-core-powered Sebas, delving into the current land mass’ history and possible ore output. A lot of it went over the tradewoman’s head, but she still listened intently… Honestly, she could have listened to the man talk about finding metals for hours. It was sort of like the podcasts she used to listen to while completing colonist training, but even more personal and somehow easier to get lost in…
“…find some other minerals further down like silver, but it also might be an active lava zone. Again, these are all theories and this world could just throw the fundamentals of geology away as it does for physics. Anyway, sorry for going on for so long about that, just thought it’d be important for getting some metals in the future.”
“No, no,” Tracy assured, alleviating him of concern with a wave of her hand. “If there’s anything the colony overseers emphasized, it was farming and mineral acquisition. Don’t worry.” She smiled, pointing a thumb to herself. “I just wanna know how I can help.”
“Actually, I’ve a few things only you can do. I’d like to make use of your impressive drone-making expertise for a few applications, if you don’t mind.”
The task of keeping eye contact slipped into an impossible feat in the span of a singular second, planting a pang of embarrassment on her reddened face, forcing her to inspect her fidgeting hands. “I-I wouldn’t say ‘impressive’… b-but what do you have in mind?”
She could see him raise a brow out of the corner of her vision. “Well, after what you’ve shown me with the reconnaissance flyers, I’d like your help in setting up a more permanent ‘net’ of them to scour the meadow and parts of the nearby forest to look out for any approaching hordes. I don’t want to be snuck up on… again…”
‘Again.’
She noted his small frown and sunken eyes, both a little more exaggerated than they already were. It wasn’t like she’d deny his request, but the pangs of empathy over their shared situation all but solidified her resolve. It was the least she could do. She could help him. She would help him.
The technician exhaled slowly, taking on a more serious and understanding tone than before. “I… can do that. For sure. What else?”
“I appreciate it.” He gave a wane smile. “I’ll help you with whatever you need for the project. For the other drones, I’m thinking about a small exploration vehicle to map out caves around us and mark any minerals, as well as a submersible to look for potassium deposits in the ocean.”
“So… search bots?” She crossed her arms, confidence growing; those were her specialty. “Depending on how long the fabricators take and what kind of base drones are in the blueprint folders, I should be able to get those done in no time. All I need to know are the search cues for potassium and how many drones you want.”
He quickly shuffled a few folders on the computer, turning the monitor for her to see some scientific documents with various images and walls upon walls of text. “There’re plenty of resources for that on here for what to look for, and there’s always Sebas, so feel free to ask him since he can just sort through the data for you anyway. If you can, I’d like it if you could focus on the submersible after the reconnaissance drones.”
“Sounds good to me. I’ll be right on it, then.” She gave him a thumbs up, slipping off his desk and toward her own.
“I’ll bring you lunch in a bit. Imma go check on the others,” he called.
Her stomach grumbled at the mention, her head turning to give him an appreciative smile. “Oh! Thanks!”
\= = = = =
Avian creatures chirped from their perches in the trees nearby. The wind softly rustled red leaves as grass gently gave way to calculated footfalls. A warm sun laid its light on Shar’khee’s neck. It was surprisingly pleasant, were one to take the time to notice. The mainland was a confusing place for the paladin, with its disparate representations of nature contrasting so heavily. Some days were filled with blood and ravenous beasts, while others were left within the domain of simplicity and beauty. She was content to have the latter, yet it felt like a facade veiling the former—a soft exterior covering the maliciously spiked interior. Never could she leave herself to carelessness, no matter how welcoming it might be.
Hence why she worked to ensure the safety of the star-sent’s castles and their inhabitants, her days largely spent patrolling for any roaming swarms that may wish to cause them harm. She typically used the routine to think, but today offered little in the way of solitude. This time, she was accompanied by the previously banished guardswoman, and was tasked with instructing the new one, though the specifics of what such lessons should entail were vague. Still, Shar’khee did all that she could so as not to disappoint Harrison, so she could only attempt to meet his expectations of her.
She told the yellow-skinned female of the threats that the settlement faced, how one was to defeat them, and what to expect from the beasts. The guardswoman was directed to practice her form with the spear in both thrusts and throwing for some time afterward, proving herself to be well-built. Such was expected of her profession after all.
It was pleasing to have another capable of patrolling the settlement’s outskirts for swarms, as it would greatly impact how effectively the colony could react to such a threat. If her routine was to suffer for the colony’s well-being, she was happy to show the new one her patrol route and note what to look out for.
The guardswoman was not a perfect student, however. Shar’khee never addressed it directly, but the yellow-skinned female obviously discredited the danger posed by the abhorrent, not-so-subtly shrugging off any warnings.
…That was until they stumbled upon the ‘hyena-boars,’ as Harrison called them.
The beasts resided in a clearing not too far from the castles, carelessly meandering across the sea of tall grass. Shar’khee quickly crouched, dragging the guardswoman down with her. Once she assessed that the creatures were not an imminent danger, she decided it would be an excellent opportunity to show the new one how to properly engage a threat. She was about to propose the idea, yet her speech was silenced just as swiftly.
Orange flashes darted through the trees around the glade. Taloned feet and gnashing teeth tore across the ground toward the unsuspecting beasts at the center. It was much too late for them. They were slow. Surrounded. Unaware. It was as quick as it was vicious, the forest’s reds turning a deeper crimson hue in a moment's notice underneath the abhorrent’s brutality.
Gangly monstrosities gnawed and ripped at the dead creatures, brief glimpses of raw flesh and white bone protruding from the small spaces between the clumped-up beasts. Repulsive wet splatters of blood and gore overlapped the calm noises of the forest, the grisly scene serenaded by the softest of nature’s symphonies. It was a sickening juxtaposition.
Shar’khee bit back the unease and steeled herself. They were within twenty paces—close enough to smell the abhorrent’s vile stench of rot and bile, yet far enough so as not to be noticed. She briefly considered backing away and retreating, her focus bouncing between the different avenues of escape, or how to cover her footst—
Crack.
Several sets of feral, eyeless maws snapped in their direction, the blood dripping off freshly dampened teeth. The guardswoman gasped, Shar’khee’s gaze following to see the mistake: a singular broken branch crinkled as a yellow-colored foot raised off the splintering twig.
The paladin exhaled sharply and smoothly stood up, brandishing two spears and her shield. Her glare settled on the still crouching guardswoman. “You are to stay behind my shield and let them appr—ch. Rem—ber what I have told you. Aim for their maws when you thrust y—r lance.”
The other female nodded, shakily pulling out her own weapons with unsteady placement hampering her grip. There was an obvious nervousness to her gaze. Hesitance. That would not do.
Shar’khee faced the prowling abhorrent her knuckles shifting hue as she prepared for their advance, for there was no chance that they wouldn’t. True to her experience, the stalking turned to a gallop with several clicks of grotesque tongues, the swarm bolting toward her as one. She snarled and slammed her bulwark into the ground, letting the approaching beasts skewer themselves amongst its spikes.
There were only ten—a paltry amount. She had defended against magnitudes more, and yet she still stood. What is more, they were mindless. Uncoordinated. They would be but stains in the cloth she used to clean her armor. Perhaps, if they were fortunate, they might leave a furrow in her shield to remember them by. Her arms tensed as the first leapt.
One by one, the abhorrent fell, their repulsive green blood splattering under her thrusts. Each awaiting corpse tore across the grove’s grass, lunging to their deaths with gaping maws and unfeeling hunger, yet she did not yield. Their shells were crushed by her shield and impaled by her Goddess-blessed spears, becoming but one more smear across their surface. Ten motionless lumps lay before her, seeping their ichor into the soil, none having passed the barrier she became. Dead, just as the Creator intended. She remained vigilant for a few moments longer, watching for any more of the disgusting creatures.
None showed themselves, finally allowing blood to flow to her fingers once again. The shield’s heavy presence weighed down her back, the blood flicked off of her spears before she returned them to their place.
“Are y–u well?” Shar’khee addressed the frozen Malkrin, wiping away the splatter on her bracers. The guardswoman stared at the small pile of deceased creatures, her heavy breaths and widened eyes moving from the spear from her singular kill. The paladin huffed. “We are fort—ate that there were so few.”
“F-Few? God help us…” Her horrified, stunned gaze slowly met the paladin’s. “Y-You said there were hundreds on the crimson nights? H-How do you… They were s-so fast.”*
”As I h–ve warned,” Shar’khee affirmed.
“You are a paladin! You all exaggerate your feats… I thought it was just a facade!”
“I have no r—son to lie,” she returned tersely, shrugging off the insult to her station and shaking her head. “The mainl—d is far more dangerous than ten gnash—g beasts; more so than that of your island hamlet. Pick yourself up. We m—t inform the others of this incursion.”
The yellow-skinned female snarled, furrowing her brows at the ground in frustration. At whom…? Shar’khee? Herself? Regardless, the female promptly gathered her composure, pushing air through clenched jaws. A step forward had her feet splash in the small pool of blood, the Malkrin nodding toward the paladin to continue back to the castles.
“…for the village.”
Shar’khee paused in her stride and faced her, frowning at the determination and anger leaking through the intent. “W—t was that?”
Her question was returned with honesty, a huffed voice marred by vexation. “Paladin, how am I to defend my village-mates as I am now?”
“‘As you are now?’ What do you m—n?”
The guardswoman stared down at her spear, wood creaking under her grip. “I have faltered before what you deem a paltry threat, and the thought of an even greater one sows dread deep within my bones. I wish… I wish to be better prepared to defend those of my village. I cannot help but see their faces on those of the furred creature in the clearing, and yet, even if I am so close, I am just as unable to protect them.”
Shar’khee stared down the yellow female, a long gaze taking in a rare showing of sincerity. “Y—r fears are one we all share, new one. Do not be ashamed of them. All t—t matters is that you do not let them rem—n mere fear, but make them your strength. So tell me, do you wish to impr—e? To ensure they do not fall while you are support—g them?”
The yellow-skinned female released a shuddering breath that bled off the worst of her indecision, a newly invoked flame flaring within her visage. “I do, paladin. I seek to protect and to be of use.”
“Then, if you wish to make y—rself resilient in the face of all that opposes us, it would be my undertak—g to forge you anew. Fortunately, Harrison has ordered such already, and his guidance shall prove ever useful, should you pursue it.”
The guardswoman shuffled in place at the star-sent’s mention, her eyes slipping downwards. “He is of a great many resources, but I would rather receive your teachings than those of a craftsman… or that of a male, deity-sent he might be.”
She placed a palm on the female’s shoulder. “He is far more than you might ever k—w. Regardless of if you ac—pt his guidance, I commend your conviction. However—” Her hand gripped tighter, though not enough to instill hostility. “—understand that you are protecting more than just your vi—age-mates.”
The new one nodded, staring up at the paladin with stallwart resolve. “Of course. I shall be in your tutelage, then.”
Shar’khee smiled. “T—n let us begin.”
\= = = = =
Akula was becoming increasingly certain that she knew how her parents once felt. The green-skinned fisherwoman was currently rotating between the many tasks placed upon her, guiding the newcomers through the minutia of their tasks so they might live up to the potential Harrison saw within them. She was gratified to have her own talents recognized by the Creator, but it also placed a great many responsibilities in her talons. Of course, she handled each new addition with finesse befitting her heritage, never once balking from the increasing demands. If anything, she felt validated; it was required of her as a female anyway, was it not? The more feminine-appropriate labor and management one undertakes, the higher authority they were granted.
It began with a simple assignment to oversee the chef’s introduction to the star-sent’s provided cooking appliances. As fascinating and convenient as utilities were, she held no interest in preparing any more food than she already had, but teaching another to operate the machines would alleviate such requirements of her. She reluctantly accepted the task when it was proposed, especially considering the fact that Harrison was much too busy with his other projects to bother with something as benign as cooking. His work was more valuable elsewhere.
The task itself went well, and the pink-skinned chef was quick to pick up on the use of the various kitchen devices, as well as the smoker. A grin had grown when she considered the possibility of all males understanding such domestic things readily, yet her mirth at removing the masculine job required of her was short-lived. Despite the newly initiated Malkrin’s success, Harrison had Akula frequently return to oversee the numerous cooking operations being conducted. That was in tandem with the back-to-back fishing trips made by both herself and the newly acquired females.
…Which was something else the green-skinned cycle-worshipper was ordered to oversee.
She had left the chef to his devices after producing another batch of partially seasoned meals, returning to the Creator with hopes of a break. He applauded her efforts with a nod and tersely spoken appreciation, then quickly pushed two spearguns into her hand and directed her to the ocean, where the twins were ‘working with jack shit,’ as the busy male said. She was to give the fisherwomen the tools and make sure they were used properly, and offer additional assistance in acquiring ‘enough fish to have us fed for a little bit.’
So, she left to complete the given task, feeling somewhat appreciative that her speargun was of superior quality to those she would be delivering—the newcomers were only afforded the lesser, roped-bolt version. It was only natural that she was in possession of their greatest assets, of course; the star-sent saw her as the only one capable of wielding such fantastic ammunition, showing trust that was rightfully placed in her. That did not mean the gray-skinned females were unsatisfied with their own gifts, however. The twins were swiftly caught up on the ‘manual of arms’ and sent to work, somehow managing to keep up with Akula in spite of their land-based origins. The two were fast enough to outpace the cycle-worshipper in sheer speed, but their lack of numerous winters spent traversing deeper waters meant they required frequent rests, breaking the ocean’s surface after every third captured fish or so.
Still, she had to appreciate their dedication to their task. They never complained about Akula pushing them further to reach the star-sent’s vague objective. Such a task was entrusted to her—and by proxy, the other two—and thus it would be completed, no matter how much her comfortable bed… couch called her tiring muscles.
The group of three hauled net after full net of fresh meat to the chef—and sewist, who later joined him—forcing him to relegate much of the catch to long-term storage as the kitchen simply could not deal with the surplus. At least three-quarters of the fish were put to slow cook in the now Malkrin-sized smoker. The craftsman had upgraded it with a kit provided by Harrison, who had recycled much of the dining room and workshop furniture to accommodate it. The Creator’s showcased urgency to gather materials was clearly not unfounded… It was admirable how he used what little he had left to ensure food would not be scarce. Additionally, the apparatus exuded an excellent scent for all the survivors to enjoy, the earthy aroma drawing in some of the other Malkrin for their breaks or meals.
Those were not the end of the cycle-worshiper’s tasks, however. She was also required to report on Shar’khee’s progress in training the guardswoman—helping to recycle the small swarm of abhorrent they cleared earlier—as well as the wood storage building’s progress. Indeed, she was advising and assisting however and wherever applicable. To say she was seen all around the settlement would be an understatement.
Nevertheless, she was appreciative to see her efforts bearing fruit by sundown. The processing of their meals from sea to plate was quite efficient, and those that Akula taught were now well-practiced in their duties. The twin fisherwomen dove from wave to wave, bringing fish back to the barracks, where the cook and sewist swiftly worked to transfer the meat to pans and smoker hooks alike. Then, the remnants of the Sea Goddess’ aquatic gifts would be subsequently recycled and given purpose anew as biofuel or perhaps future fertilizer.
The endless onslaught of duties and responsibilities had enlightened her, in a way. She could see where Harrison came from now; having a working project go from one point to another without input nor difficulty was a sight to behold, and it made her swell with pride. It was a surmountable feat to teach the barbaric ground-worshippers to do something properly.
…Well, they were not horrible Malkrin, so perhaps simply calling them ‘uninitiated’ was a more apt descriptor…
No matter the tribulations faced, and no matter how draining her new authority might be, her rest at the end of the day would be one that was well-earned, and it would be had with a sense of satisfaction. She deserved it, and perhaps that extended to the rest of the settlement as well.
- - - - -
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Next time on Total Drama Anomaly Island - Mine! Mine! Mine!

I'm a 27 year old guy and started taking sertraline a day after my 27th birthday, about 4 months ago and honest to God I should have started taking this shit way earlier.
I have OCD / General Anxiety Disorder with some autism sprinkled in (Asperger's) which has made my life quite fucking difficult, especially in aspects like getting a job. I've suffered in other aspects so long that I didn't even care about those aspects.
After losing the one job where they needed a silent awkward Analytical autist last november (they loved me but had to close down my department because of a bad financial year) I started getting rather depressed, it took me a lot of energy and help from a friend who happened to be a recruiter at the time to even get into that job and I felt like I was fucked, that I was gonna be a no job loser living with his mom forever, never having money for vacations with friends again and plenty of other dark thoughts that I don't intend on sharing here.
So I started going to job interview after job interview, constantly getting rejected and each rejection made me feel worse.
One of my friends noticed that I wasn't chatting with her as often as I used to and when she called me I finally broke down, I was at the ends of my wits, she encouraged me to finally seek help again.
I've tried therapy in the form of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy before, which I found to be worthless and I was offered Mindfulness as an alternative which I think of as a scam. (I'm certain mindfulness in the traditional sense is fine, but the westernized version is optimalized for capitalism)
So I asked my therapist to put me on medication for the first time in my life, I never wanted to have meds because I didn't want to be dependent on something and always thought it would mess with my brain, that I needed to fix my mental health issues through other means like exercise and meditation, which I always failed to keep doing consistently.
So here I am, 4 months on Zoloft:
My anxiety and OCD are still there, they probably won't ever leave but I am way more in control of them. Where they used to make me ponder anxiously for hours if not days, it now feels like Zoloft has created some insulation between my anxieties and myself, it's easier to just observe those anxieties, set them aside and go on with my day.
Now this is not to say that Zoloft is a miracle drug that makes life better automatically without any effort on your part but here's what I've been doing in the past 4 months thanks to being on Zoloft

• I signed the lease for my new apartment a week ago,
• I've started going to theatre classes, something I've always wanted to do but never could before because of my anxiety, it's super enjoyable and was a great way to test whether this shit was working.
• I started taking more care of my health, working out once a week, eating healthier.
• I genuinely feel like I am living a rather normal life instead of feeling like im surviving on a day by day basis.

I'm not entirely where I want to be, for example I still have a lack of motivation often (executive dysfunction) and I still get clammy/sweaty/vibrating in certain social situations like during theatre classes and job interviews but I feel a whole lot less worried about it all.
Next week I'm gonna talk with my therapist to up my dose from 100mg to 150mg and hoping that will help me fix my last issues, even if it does not I'm already a whole lot happier than I used to be.
So far I haven't shat myself knock on wood to not jinx myself and I haven't noticed any weird side effects other than my thyroids acting up on the very first day and never again after.
I can also drink with my friends just fine, which I started again after about 2 months carefully with one beer and very slowly building up my alcohol intake to the point where I can easily have a few beers and a few strong drinks at a party, nothing too excessive.
So yeah, I'm happy I started taking sertraline, also known as Zoloft, I initially started with the idea of taking it as an experiment to see what it does and go off it as soon as I could again but now I don't think I wanna do that anymore, not if I can live like this.
I still wish I started way younger, would have saved me a lot of pain and student debt, but I'll figure out something eventually, now that I'm on Zoloft I'm certain I will some day.

Let's not expect other teams to do our job for us. If we don't finish in the Top 2, it's because we didn't do our job well enough when it mattered most.
🔆 The pitch was a murder story brewing to happen, and the victims were the bowlers. We could go on and on about how we didn't get any wickets in the powerplay and allowed two domestic batsmen to plunder runs against us, but it doesn't change the fact that the pitch had nothing to offer the seam bowlers. And no, new ball and overcast conditions don't mandatorily induce swing. This pitch was as barren as the white Rann of Kutch. So a decent mix of non-threatening bowling coupled with brave shot-making of the PBKS batters resulted in that inflated powerplay score. The team selection was definitely done keeping the pitch in mind. Cummins more or less should have been aware of the batting conditions, and accordingly, a batting-heavy team was selected to both test our chasing capabilities and put the primary bowlers under pressure before the crucial playoffs.
🔆 Vijayakanth was bashed a lot during his spell by the fans. But people need to stay connected to the fact that he's not a mystery bowler. He's not going to extract something out of nothing. As a traditional leggie, he did what he was conditioned to do under these situations. He went on the defensive and stuck to a leg line to save himself from the attack. A match and a player in cricket should truly be judged after the conclusion of both innings. Given the PBKS spinners gave away at an economy of 11.3, VV's economy of 9.2 looks mild in comparison. That being said, he didn't bowl a perfect spell. When the ball was gripping a bit around his first spell, he continued bowling a defensive line and length. More often than not, he bowled short to the PBKS batsmen, for which he was punished accordingly. Would I still keep him in the squad? Yes, absolutely yes. More than another enforcer with the bat, this team desperately needs a wicket-taker in the middle. That's the very reason SRH should continue gambling with VV over GP, even if it doesn't pay off. Similarly, Nitish will be branded as a fraud with the ball looking at his stats at the end. And it's fair to an extent. Bowling your first ball of the spell as a no-ball more often than not spoils spells for fast bowlers, and it happened as such for NKR. Despite being hit for a couple of boundaries, he remained persistent with his lengths. This predictability worked against him against Russow and Jitesh. It's a good thing that Cummins entrusted him to bowl three overs under these tough conditions. Figures as such can make a bowler or break his confidence for good. It's a trial by fire, and let's hope we get the better version of NKR, the bowler, out of it.
🔆 Head's wicket was a brain fade. As explained by Brian on-air, he was too late to bring his bat down and the ball just snuck through. He showed signs of rustiness after the long break and he definitely would have benefited from being subbed during the latter part of the first innings. Abhi is a frustrating tale for me. Those who have followed my posts for long should know that I've been one of his biggest supporters ever since his arrival. That's why it's so frustrating to see him be so inconsistent with his batting this season. Despite suffering so much because of the lack of feet movement, he continues playing lazy shots far away from his body. Bowling far away from him and having a dominant off-side field has been the plan against him ever since the CSK match, and he continues giving in to those tactics. Even in this match, he played a couple of unnecessary slices over the point region to the very same area where CSK managed to hole him out. The couple of times he did move around and try to cover the line, he managed to hit handsome boundaries. This modification in technique does not happen overnight and usually takes a fair bit of discipline and time. That's why it's very important for him to keep his head down, block out outside noises, and work on that issue. That being said, he beat the allegations of being ineffective without the support of Head. And that's a step in the right direction.
🔆 Trips turned back the clock! I've always emphasized Trips to be more suitable for opening than batting first down with a semi-new ball. When the ball doesn't move that much and is still hard enough to be hit well, Trips is a different kind of batter. And from the very first ball, he showed glimpses of his past self. Rahul Tripathi is and always has been a confidence player. His performances on the field are reminiscent of the peripheral confidence he gathers before and during his stay in the crease. The less he gets beaten, the fewer Dot Balls he faces, the more confidently he goes through with his shots. I won't say anything new regarding him that I've not said already in here.(Do give it a read if you've not already) Judging by his innings tonight, he'd definitely get his place back in the playoffs. The onus is entirely upon himself to turn the situation around and not ruin his legacy with us. NKR had a decent partnership with Abhi despite struggling initially. He did have luck in his favor a couple of times there, but he made sure to keep up with the RRR to never let the match get away. Klaas, on the other hand, teed off at the start and eventually slowed down after the fall of wickets to secure the win. It's shame that he didn't finish the chase, but that's a discussion that should've taken place had we bottled this.
🔆 This win was necessary for multiple reasons. I wanted a 200+ chase before the end of the group stage so that our batsmen don't carry a burden into such a crucial phase. The RCB match set a precedent for the opposition to score 200+ by batting first against us, and rightfully so, our batsmen failed to comply with the NRR pressure. It showed a definitive weakness in our batting for opponents to exploit, and this match mitigated those worries to some extent. I said 'to some extent' as we made it a little more difficult at the end than we should have. It wasn't 100% confidence-inducing, but it was something at least. There's always a place to start, and I'm glad we started in the right direction.

26/01/2014 - WWE Royal Rumble
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentated by Jim Ross, JBL, and Michael Cole
We see some footage of superstars arriving to the arena today. The Authority arrive in a limousine; WWE Champion Randy Orton, Triple H, Stephanie McMahon, and Kane. Daniel Bryan is shown walking with Brie Bella. "The Animal" Batista shows up in a truck and flexes for the camera. The feed cuts and glitches out revealing a dark room with a empty rocking chair moving slowly. "We're here."
The iconic voice of Jim Ross welcomes us to the 2014 Royal Rumble as pyro erupts from the stage and the fans go wild. The Authority's music plays and the mood quickly shifts, the crowd rains down boo's. Here comes the WWE World Champion Randy Orton. Orton talks trash to some fans in the front row while Triple H, Stephanie McMahon, and Kane make their way out as well. Orton raises the title as HHH passes him a microphone. Orton is in a great mood tonight. He's got the night off and there will be 30 men all vying for a chance to get RKO'ed in the main event of Wrestlemania 30. The crowd chants, “Daniel Bryan” as Orton laughs and promises that Bryan doesn't stand a chance. If you want to win the Royal Rumble you have to be taller than these marks in the crowd, you can't be a front row wrestler like Daniel Bryan or CM Punk. The crowd breaks into a deafening “DANIEL BRYAN/CM PUNK!” chant as Orton highlights some of the past winners like himself, Triple H, and Batista. True superstars who all pass the airport test. Triple H takes the microphone and tells the fans to shut the hell up and respect greatness. The reason The Authority are out here is because they want an answer from Batista. Will The Animal join them, take the #30 spot, and win the Rumble to make the biggest Wrestlemania main event a reality? Batista's music hits and he gets a great reaction. First of all, Batista thanks the Pittsburgh fans and everyone in the WWE for welcoming him back with open arms. Batista has a ton of respect for Triple H and Orton after all those years in Evolution. They all shake hands and it looks like he's accepting the offer. Triple H tells Batista to make the right decision and do whats best for business. Batista gives the THUMBS UP! The Authority are all psyched up until.... Batista, who still has his thumb in the air, says "What's best for business.... is listening to these fans! Doing things the hard way, the same way he did it through his whole career. Batista didn't come back to be handed anything, he came back to prove he can still be The Animal. The man who beat Triple H in the main event of Wrestlemania.... The thumbs up is turned into a THUMBS DOWN! Kane charges at Batista but gets clotheslined! Randy Orton and Tripe H flee from the ring as The Animal delivers a Spinebuster to Kane and rattles the ropes! Triple H screams that Batista is going to regret this decision.....
A video package of the feud between Divas Champion AJ Lee and Mickie James is next. After AJ Lee defeated Naomi to retain her title on RAW, AJ declared she had no competition in the locker room. Cue the surprise return of Mickie James! Former psycho versus current psycho, legend versus future legend. They exchange verbal barbs over the next few weeks, with Mickie picking up some big wins and earning a title match. During a contract signing on the final RAW before the Royal Rumble, things finally turned physical and Mickie put AJ Lee through a table with a huge bulldog from the top rope! Everything comes to a head tonight with the championship on the line.
Tony Chimel lets us know that this contest is scheduled for one fall as Mickie James makes her entrance and gets emotional at the ovation from the audience in Pittsburgh. Divas Champion AJ Lee is next and she gets a mixed reaction; the fans love her but are definitely backing Mickie in this one.
AJ Lee (c) vs. Mickie James for the WWE Divas Championship
The match kicks off with AJ slapping Mickie across the face! James returns the favour and tackles AJ, raining down a flurry of punches. AJ Lee cowers into the corner but then takes advantage by slamming Mickie to the mat by her hair! AJ taunts Mickie and stomps her in the corner but when the champion charges, Mickie backdrops her over the ropes! Mickie hits a Thez Press from the apron and tosses AJ into the barricade!
They battle on the apron until AJ sends Mickie head first into the ringpost. Mickie seems genuinely hurt and the referee goes to check on her, allowing AJ to expose the turnbuckle on the opposite side of the ring. She shows no regard for her possibly injured challenger, ignoring the ref and dragging Mickie back into the centre of the ring. Out of nowhere, James nails the Mick Kick! AJ is down! 1-2-AJ gets her foot underneath the bottom rope! James goes for the Stratus-faction but AJ Lee launches her into the exposed turnbuckle! Mickie James is out cold! 1-2-3! AJ retains!
Result- AJ Lee wins by pinfall via exposed turnbuckle shot. (12:58)
The Royal Rumble tumbler is back! Stephanie McMahon is overseeing things as superstars enter to pick their spots in the Royal Rumble. We see Alberto Del Rio, Brodus Clay, and other superstars pick their numbers. Triple H and Paul Heyman in the background; they shake hands and it appears that HHH hands Heyman something before he walks off.
"The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes is here! He introduces his sons, the WWE World Tag Team Champions Cody Rhodes and Goldust! The champions hug their father and make their way to the ring for a Six Pack Challenge Elimination Match! After being on the wrong side of The Authority, The Rhodes Brothers have been put in quite the predicament as they look to retain their title's against all odds.
Cody Rhodes and Goldust (c) vs. The New Age Outlaws vs. The Prime Time Players vs. Truth & Consequences vs. Hunico and Camacho vs. The Uso's in a Six Pack Challenge Elimination Match for the WWE World Tag Team Championship
Everything breaks down right off the bat. Bodies are flying everywhere. The Uso's hit a pair of dives over the ropes onto a pile of opponents. Back in the ring Hunico and Camacho eat a pair of Superkicks. Uso Splash to Hunico! 1-2-3!
Jey Uso pins Hunico via Uso Splash (Hunico and Camacho are eliminated)
The Prime Time Players take their turn dominating. Titus hits a Sit-Out Spinebuster to Billy Gunn. Darren Young launches Road Dogg from the ring and dropkicks an incoming Jimmy Uso. Xavier Woods comes out of nowhere with a springboard DDT on Titus O'Neil! Darren Young gets hit with a spinning elbow from R-Truth! Woods and Truth connect with a double Scissor Kick on Titus for the 3 count.
R-Truth pins Titus O'Neil via Double Scissors Kick (The Prime Time Players are eliminated)
Road Dogg chopblocks R-Truth immediately and throws him into the ringpost. Woods gets some shots in on Dogg but turns around into a Fameasser from Billy Gunn! 1-2-3!
Billy Gunn pins Xavier Woods via Fameasser (Truth & Consequences are eliminated)
Road Dogg grabs one of the tag title belts and brings it in the ring. The referee tries to stop him but Billy warns the referee that Triple H will fire him if he gets in their way. Billy holds Goldust as Road Dogg charges with the title ---- Goldust low blows Billy Gunn and ducks; Road Dogg knocks out Billy Gunn with the title belt! Cody Rhodes grabs Road Dogg and hits the Cross Rhodes!
Cody Rhodes pins Billy Gunn via Cross Rhodes (The New Age Outlaws are eliminated)
We are down to two teams. The Rhodes Brothers and The Uso's. The teams gather themselves in opposite corners as the crowd swells to a fever pitch. All four slug it out in the middle. Double Superkick to Goldust sends him to the floor. Cody hits the Bionic Elbow to Jimmy! Alabama Slam to Jey! Cody is all fired up! Cody goes for the Cross Rhodes but nearly gets pinned on a roll up. Double Superkick to Cody! Both The Uso's climb to the top rope but Goldust comes back in and drops Jimmy right on his yambags! Goldust meets Jey on the other side and delivers a giant superplex! BUT JIMMY RECOVERS AND FLIES OFF THE TOP! USO SPLASH TO GOLDUST! 1-2-CODY BREAKS UP THE PIN! Cody hits a Disaster Kick to Jimmy but gets Superkicked by Jey! With his last gasp of energy, Goldust nails Jey with the Final Cut! 1-2-3! Cody and Goldust retain!
Goldust pins Jey Uso via The Final Cut
Result- Cody Rhodes and Goldust retain the WWE World Tag Team Championship. (15:59)
CM Punk is taping his wrists in the locker room when Corporate Kane approaches with a bunch of security. Punk stands up ready to defend himself. But Kane tells him to calm down. He's here with a gift from The Authority. Kane hands Punk a Rumble number from the tumbler and tells him on behalf of The Authority, they wish him luck tonight. Kane leaves as punk opens the ball and shakes his head.
A video package showcases the rivalry between the United States Champion Dean Ambrose and Rob Van Dam. After RVD became # 1 Contender, The Shield brutalized him in a 3 on 1 beatdown. The next week, Rob Van Dam attacked Ambrose with a steel chair and delivered a devastating Van Daminator. Ambrose got busted open but the blood seemed to turn him into some kind of maniac. A bloodied Ambrose cut an iconically intense promo backstage in the boiler room where he challenged RVD to a Hardcore match at the Royal Rumble. Rob Van Dam accepted and began to tap into his hardcore style, even going as far as to bring back his old friend Sabu to help him fend off repeated attacks by The Shield. Tonight this rivalry concludes in a Hardcore match for the US Championship.
Dean Ambrose (c) vs. Rob Van Dam for the United States Championship in a Hardcore Match
Van Dam starts off hot with a barrage of kicks to Ambrose. RVD hits his signature barricade legdrop from the apron! He pulls out a kendo stick and starts unloading on the champion. Ambrose stops the beating by raking RVD's eyes and then snapping the kendo stick in half. Ambrose goes berserk, stabbing RVD with the sharp part of the broken kendo stick repeatedly in the corner as JR tells the TV audience to put their kids to bed because "this match is going to be bowling shoe ugly folks". Van Dam slides out of the ring and we see he's bleeding profusely. Ambrose stalks his prey on the outside but RVD tosses a steel chair full speed at his head! RVD goes under the ring and grabs a couple of trash cans and a lid. He smashes Ambrose over the head with the lid and throws him in the ring. RVD sets up a table on the outside but is momentarily distracted, trying to wipe the blood out of his eyes which allows Ambrose to crush one of the trash cans over Van Dam's head. Like a shark that smells blood in the water, Ambrose pounces on RVD and unloads punches to his open cut. The referee pulls him off and checks on RVD. But Ambrose is not done. Far from it. He goes under the ring and grabs a barbed wired baseball bat! As he gets in the ring, RVD kicks the barbed wired bat into Ambrose's face! Spike DDT! Van Dam puts a trash can over Ambrose's head and props him in the corner. VAN TERMINATOR WITH A STEEL CHAIR INTO THE TRASH CAN! RVD slowly drapes his arm over Ambrose. 1-2-Dean somehow kicks out! They exchange punches in the middle of the ring until Ambrose bites RVD's bloody head!!! RVD punches Ambrose just to get him off of him but Dean rebounds with a lariat that turns RVD inside out! Instead of going for the pin, Ambrose picks up the barbed wired baseball bat and smashes RVD in the back repeatedly! Van Dam rolls to the apron but Ambrose follows him and starts grinding the barbed wire in RVD's face! Using the pure adrenaline of survival instinct, RVD reverses into a suplex over the ropes, sending he and Ambrose crashing through the table on the outside!
The fans chant "Holy shit!" as the announcers question how much more these guys, specifically RVD, can take. RVD is first to his feet and throws Ambrose in the ring. RVD climbs to the top rope but Ambrose hits the ropes and causes him to lose balance. He tosses RVD off the top rope onto a trash can! Ambrose goes under the ring and grabs a bag..... The referee tries to stop him but Ambrose shoves him to the ground and empties the contents all over the ring ---- IT'S THUMBTACKS! He turns around and catches a steel chair hurled at him by RVD! VAN TERMINATOR! Ambrose falls into the tacks! RVD goes up top! FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH INTO THE TACKS! "BY GAWD!" Cover! 1-2-Ambrose kicks out by shoving a handful of tacks into RVD's face! Van Dam screams in pain as a now bloody Ambrose pulls himself to his feet and smiles. DIRTY DEEDS ON THE TACKS! 1-2-3!
Result- Dean Ambrose wins by pinfall via Dirty Deeds onto thumbtacks! (22:22)
Rob Van Dam is taken out on a stretcher as Dean Ambrose sits bloodied in the corner, with thumbtacks all over him and the United States Title over his shoulder, admiring his work.
Writer's Note: This match writes RVD out for the foreseeable future to give him a well deserved break. Ambrose is put over as a sadistic, hardcore, psycho path on RVD's way out.
We cut backstage where Mark Henry and The Big Show are picking their numbers. Stephanie McMahon plays nice with the legendary giants, telling them that there are always advantages to helping The Authority. Mark Henry laughs her off and walks out but Big Show appears to contemplate her words. Daniel Bryan walks in and has a face off with Triple H. Bryan wants to pick his Rumble number but HHH tells him there's only one ball left. He teases not giving it to him but places it in his hands. Bryan opens it, shakes his head and smiles, saying he wouldn't expect anything less from The Authority.
A video package on the history of the Royal Rumble match is next, highlighting past winners, elimination records, and obscure statistics. Ladies and gentlemen. We promised you a great main event.
Main Event- 30 Man Royal Rumble Match
1. Daniel Bryan
2. CM Punk
The two heroes of our story; enemies of The Authority that have been given the insurmountable task of winning from the opening spots if they want to main event Wrestlemania. They slug it out and the fans love every second of it.
3. Big E Langston
The Intercontinental Champion gets a chance to showcase his abilities in full spotlight. He tosses Bryan and Punk around much to the chagrin of the crowd. Punk and Bryan team up to stop the onslaught and slow the big man down.
4. Mark Henry
The World's Strongest Man double clotheslines Punk and Bryan before squaring up with Big E. The two meaty men begin slappin' meat until Henry squashes the IC Champion in the corner and takes advantage.
5. Alexander Rusev
The Bulgarian Brute from NXT goes nose to nose with Mark Henry. Rusev kicks Henry in the head and then charges full speed, clobbering him and sending Mark crashing from the ring for our first official elimination of the night!
Alexander Rusev eliminates Mark Henry
6. Evan Bourne
Bourne quickens the pace of the match and hits a barrage of high flying moves until he meets the brick wall known as Rusev. Rusev gets Bourne in a precarious position and clotheslines him so hard that he takes a nasty backflip bump off the apron ala Paul London 2005.
Alexander Rusev eliminates Evan Bourne
Rusev turns around and realizes he's surrounded by Bryan, Punk, and Big E! He fights valiantly but it's no use. YES+ Knee by Bryan! Rusev is rocked but still standing! GTS by Punk! Rusev is STILL somehow on his feet but falls back against the ropes ..... A clothesline from Big E sends Rusev over the ropes for another elimination!
Big E Langston eliminates Alexander Rusev
7. Alberto Del Rio w/Ricardo Rodriguez
As a former World Champion and Royal Rumble winner, Del Rio has to be considered dangerous in this match. He hits a nasty double foot stomp on Big E and trash talks the fans as they boo him out of the building. Bryan and Punk hit a Hart Attack on Del Rio to a massive pop!
8. Kevin Nash
It looks like The Authority have a couple of tricks up their sleeve tonight. Nash immediately targets Punk and Bryan, savouring the boo's from the audience. Meanwhile, Big E nearly has Del Rio eliminated until Rodriguez hops on the apron and allows Del Rio to get the advantage by jamming him thumb in Big E's eye! Del Rio kicks Big E in the face and eliminates the Intercontinental Champion!
Alberto Del Rio eliminates Big E Langston
Del Rio and Nash team up to beat down Punk and Bryan.
9. John Cena
Business is about to pick up! Cena hits the ring and takes the fight to Del Rio and Nash! AA to Del Rio! Nash immediately takes Cena down with a big boot and mocks the fans, pretending to cry. Jackknife Powerbomb to Cena! Nash tosses Punk over the ropes but Punk skins the cat and starts kicking Nash in his surgically repaired knee's.
10. Big Show
Nash throws Punk into the ring post and has a face off with The World's Largest Athlete. Nash extends his hand, wondering if Show is going to take The Authority up on their offer. Big Show teases joining him --- psych! Knockout Punch by Big Show! Nash crumples to the mat. The fans love it as Big Show gets hyped up and then starts chopping Del Rio in the corner.
11. X-Pac
Another surprise return! But is this another legend doing the bidding of The Authority? Pac does some crotch chops and gets a good reaction as he fist bumps The Big Show and hits a Bronco Buster to Del Rio! But X-Pac cannot be trusted as he kicks Big Show right in the family jewels! Kevin Nash pulls himself to his feet and two sweets X-Pac! Nash goes to stomping on The Big Show as Pac charges for a Bronco Buster on Punk ---- Cena takes X-Pac's head off with a clothesline and then AA's him from the ring!
John Cena eliminates X-Pac
Cena, Punk, and Bryan all attack Kevin Nash and buy enough time for Big Show to recover. Show grabs Nash by the throat and pushes him back over the ropes!
Big Show eliminates Kevin Nash
Show, Cena, Punk, Bryan, and Del Rio all fight and try to eliminate each other as the buzzer sounds for the next entrant.
12. Bray Wyatt
The mood has shifted in the arena! Bray Wyatt comes in like an absolute killer, wrecking everyone in his path. Sister Abigail to CM Punk! Daniel Bryan is the last one standing and the crowd breaks out into thunderous "YES!" chants as Bryan and Wyatt exchange stiff slaps and beat the piss out of each other!
13. Erick Rowan
A coincidence or the puppet strings of The Authority? The Wyatt Family now has two members and begin to dominate. Big Show grabs their throats but Rowan breaks free with several headbutts! Big Show slumps back against the ropes --- Wyatt and Rowan dump him to the floor!
Bray Wyatt and Erick Rowan eliminate Big Show
Wyatt sits in the corner moving his hands like a orchestra conductor as Rowan chokes Daniel Bryan on the opposite side of the ring. Del Rio tries to eliminate John Cena.
14. Brodus Clay
The Funkasaurus is in no dancing mood, he knows how serious this opportunity is and he also knows what he's up against. As soon as he slides in the ring, Wyatt and Rowan put the boots to him. Clay fights back but it's no use. It's Wyatt Family domination as Bray hits a Sister Abigail and then Rowan throws the big man over the ropes.
Erick Rowan eliminates Brodus Clay
CM Punk is Bray Wyatt's next target but he fights for his life and hits a big roundhouse kick to Rowan! Bray has to fend for himself and he smiles, it's time to dance!
15. Kofi Kingston
Kingston is a house of fire, flying all over the ring. SOS to Bray Wyatt! Trouble in Paradise to Del Rio! Kingston springboards off the ropes but gets caught by Erick Rowan! Rowan press slams Kofi to the outside ---- Kofi lands on the barricade! He trust falls back into the crowd and they surf him around as the arena breaks out into huge "KOFI!" chants.
16. Santino Marella
Santino breaks out THE COBRA! Wyatt does the creepy spider walk which freaks Santino out ---- he eliminates himself and walks to the back!
Santino Marella eliminates himself
17. Ezekiel Jackson
As Jackson walks down to the ring, the crowd bring Kofi back to the barricade and he hops to the apron! Bray Wyatt launches himself into Kofi, sending him flying into in the arms of Ezekiel Jackson! Kofi is all pumped up at avoiding elimination twice but Jackson bodyslams Kofi on the floor! Kofi is now out and Big Zeke has his first elimination before he even gets in the ring!
Ezekiel Jackson eliminates Kofi Kingston
Jackson joins the match and exchanges some shoulder blocks with Erick Rowan. Bray Wyatt continues to brawl with Daniel Bryan while John Cena fights Del Rio.
18. Christian
Captain Charisma joins the match and finds himself squaring off with his old rival Ezekiel Jackson. Jackson gets him up for a Powerslam but Christian fights out and hits the Killswitch! Christian then ducks a Bray Wyatt clothesline and hits a Spear! Del Rio cheapshots Christian and tells the fans to shut up as he chokes Captain Charisma in the corner.
19. Chris Jericho
Y2J makes quite the entrance with a boatload of pyro. Jericho slaps Del Rio and locks in the Walls of Jericho! The ring begins to fill up now as strategy changes this late into the match; nobody wants to risk elimination at this point.
20. The Boogeyman
JBL gets real quiet all of a sudden as the legend crawls out and smashes a clock on his head! Boogeyman gets in the ring and begins eating a handful of worms! This gets Bray Wyatt's attention and the two spooky guys have a staredown. The Eater of Worlds vs. The Eater of Worms. Boogeyman sets Wyatt up for the Pumphandle Slam but Erick Rowan boots him in the head and then tosses him from the ring!
Erick Rowan eliminates The Boogeyman
21. Fandango w/Summer Rae
As Fandango dances his way to the ring, Christian and Jericho team up to eliminate Ezekiel Jackson.
Christian and Chris Jericho eliminate Ezekiel Jackson
Fandango sets his sights on Jericho and shows a more vicious side of himself, stomping Y2J relentlessly. Bray Wyatt and Erick Rowan try to eliminate Christian.
22. Luke Harper
The Wyatt Family is now at full strength. They dominate the field and Luke Harper clotheslines Fandango off the apron!
Luke Harper eliminates Fandango
Bray instructs them to eliminate Bryan but Punk and Cena have something to say about that.
23. Bad News Barrett
As Barrett picks the most opportune time to enter, The Wyatt Family gang up on Christian and Bray Wyatt tosses him out!
Bray Wyatt eliminates Christian
Chris Jericho puts up a fight, nailing Rowan with a Codebreaker! The numbers game is still in The Wyatt Family's favour --- Harper decapitates Y2J with a clothesline, and Wyatt eliminates him as well!
Bray Wyatt eliminates Chris Jericho
The clock begins to countdown so Barrett is forced to roll in the ring and Harper attacks him.
24. Shelton Benjamin
AIN'T NO STOPPIN' ME, NOOOO! The Gold Standard makes his return to WWE and gets a nice ovation from the Pittsburgh crowd. He single handedly ends The Wyatt Family's domination by diving onto all three of them! As Bray Wyatt scurries to his feet, Shelton greets him with a T-Bone Suplex! Erick Rowan charges full speed at Daniel Bryan but Bryan avoids him by pulling the rope down and Rowan crashes to the floor!
Daniel Bryan eliminates Erick Rowan
Rowan is pissed and starts dismantling the announce table until the referee's force him to leave. The ring is full of superstars with full intentions of headlining Wrestlemania. Bryan and Punk are spent. Cena too. Del Rio hides in the corner to stay alive. Shelton battles it out with Barrett and Harper. Wyatt pulls himself to his feet.
25. Batista
THE ANIMAL IS HERE! Batista is a one man wrecking crew. Spinebuster to Luke Harper! Batista Bomb to Barrett! Del Rio sneaks up and attempts to toss Batista out but The Animal reverses his momentum and eliminates Del Rio!
Batista eliminates Alberto Del Rio
Batista and Bray Wyatt lock eyes. Wyatt loves it and yells "Show me that Animal, David!" Batista crushes him with a Spear and then finds himself face to face with John Cena. Cena is much more exhausted and ends up getting Spinebustered for his troubles.
26. Roman Reigns
The powerhouse of The Shield enters the ring with bad intentions; Spear to Shelton Benjamin! Superman Punch to Daniel Bryan! Reigns and Batista do battle until Wyatt and Harper attack them ---- Batista and Reigns hit a pair of Spears to The Wyatt Family!
27. Dolph Ziggler
Ziggler comes down with a microphone and tells everyone in the ring that this is his year. Number 27 is the most coveted position as more people have won the Rumble from this spot than any other. He smashes Batista with the microphone and unloads punches on The Animal! Dolph with a Superkick to Barrett and a Zig Zag to John Cena! 10 superstars are left in the ring with 3 more to make their entrance.
28. Seth Rollins
The Architect of The Shield is here and he joins Roman Reigns as they go face to face with Wyatt and Harper! Electricity in the air folks! Things break down; Bray and Roman fight in the corner as Harper drops Rollins with a clothesline! John Cena hoists Luke Harper up and sends him to the floor with an AA!
John Cena eliminates Luke Harper
Bad News Barrett sneaks up and dumps Cena from the ring! John Cena is eliminated! Revenge for The Nexus at last!
Bad News Barrett eliminates John Cena
29. Sheamus
The Celtic Warrior imediately Brogue Kicks Shelton off the apron!
Sheamus eliminates Shelton Benjamin
Everyone fights as the clock counts down for our final entrant.
30. Brock Lesnar w/Paul Heyman
Now we know what Triple H gifted Paul Heyman earlier! The Beast enters the ring and F5's Bad News Barrett to the floor!
Brock Lesnar eliminates Bad News Barrett
Dolph Ziggler jumps on Brock's back and tries to choke him out but Lesnar reverses into an F5 position! Lesnar sends Dolph flying over the ropes!
Brock Lesnar eliminates Dolph Ziggler
Lesnar now targets Batista and hits a series of shoulder blocks in the corner. He picks The Animal up for an F5 but Batista fights out and clotheslines Brock out of the ring!!!
Batista eliminates Brock Lesnar
Brock is in shock along with the announcers and everyone in the arena. He starts pacing around the ring as Batista sets Bray Wyatt up for a Batista Bomb. Lesnar shoves the referee to the ground and slides back in the ring, tossing Batista out!
Brock Lesnar eliminates Batista
Lesnar smashes Batista with the steel steps and then F5's The Animal through the announce table! We're down to five as Rollins and Punk fight on the apron until Punk hits a GTS! Rollins crumbles unconscious to the floor!
CM Punk eliminates Seth Rollins
The final four of the 2014 Royal Rumble: CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, Bray Wyatt, and Roman Reigns. Punk and Bryan entered at number 1 and 2. Incredible accomplishment for them. Roman Reigns Spears Daniel Bryan and then sidesteps Bray Wyatt, sending him flying from the ring!
Roman Reigns eliminates Bray Wyatt
CM Punk hits a GTS on Reigns and all three men are down. Triple H walks down to the ring and rips his jacket off. Kane follows behind him. Punk pulls himself to his feet as tells them to bring it. Randy Orton RKO's CM Punk out of nowhere! The WWE Champion soaks in the boo's as he and Kane throw CM Punk out! "This is bullshit" yells the fans and JR agrees!
Randy Orton and Kane eliminate CM Punk
Triple H smiles and grabs the sledgehammer. Orton and Kane hold Daniel Bryan as HHH charges with the hammer ---- Roman Reigns Spears Triple H! CM Punk pulls Orton from the ring and they brawl into the crowd! Daniel Bryan takes Kane out with the YES+ Knee! With everyone out of the equation, Reigns and Bryan get three minutes of back and forth action, a proper finish to the Rumble. Reigns gets locked in a triangle choke but shows tremendous strength, lifting Bryan up and over the ropes! Bryan holds onto Roman and drags him over with him! They battle on the apron until Bryan viciously kicks Roman in the head! Reigns falls to the floor! Daniel Bryan wins the 2014 Royal Rumble!
Daniel Bryan eliminates Roman Reigns
Winner of the 2014 Royal Rumble: Daniel Bryan
Fireworks explode as Daniel Bryan leads the fans in a YES chant and points at the Wrestlemania sign.

Hi everyone, I would appreciate any imput form people who might have had similar situation or know more than I do because I am not sure what to do now.
I've been having problems with mild diarrhea and bloating for months now (I think it started after antibiotics that I took a year ago for h pylori plus I think my motility was overactive even before that). I didn't do much since it was not that bad but it got progressively worse and I developed something like rosacea during this time too.
I got viral infection a month ago and around this time I started having watery diarrhea every 2-3 days. Usually one or two watery stools, then either very mushy, foul smelling non watery stools or small, soft non smelly stools for a day or two and then another sudden watery situation and this lasted around 3 weeks (viral sickness cleard up much faster). This face flusing/rosacea got worse too. I tried taking s bouldari probiotic for a couple of days but it did nothing. Got mildly dehydrated.
I went to the doctor and got cbc and crp, showed only mild neutropenia and ultrasound that didn't show any issues. Doctor concluded it is SIBO and IBS (considering my issues before infection). She prescribed rifaximin 400x3 for 10 days and sodium butyrate after. She said if rifaximin won't help after a couple of days to stop taking and come back. I started taking it yesterday and my stools are still mushy but seem to be a bit better, no watery diarrhea (although it happened to me every 2-3 days so it might still come).
I've been reading this forum for a while and I have to admit I am kinda scared and confused rn. First of all I didn't get any SIBO test done so diagnosis is just purely based on my symptoms. In that case I am starting to worry what if my problem is caused by c diff instead? Then taking rifaximin will only put me in danger of getting a really bad case of c diff as far as I understand? Is it even possible to have SIBO for months with mild/medium symptoms and suddenly it causes watery diarrhea? Also does it make any sense to do c diff test done right now while on rifaximin?
I also see conflicting opinions about probiotics with rifaximin. Does it make any sense to take it or not? Is it better to start after finishing treatment or right now to minimize the risk of c diff?
Can anyone tell me if you were diagnosed without sibo test and rifaximin helped? Or did you have c diff and how is it different? Did you have watery stools or bloating while on rifaximin? I'm not sure how I can tell my doc whether it is helping or not if it has side effect similar to the very problem I have on the first place.
I will be grateful for any imput