Taking adderall before dodgeball

This is not the witch I wish to be. Tempted early in that day with that "amphetamine paste". Figuring it would be no different from Adderall, which I'd taken for many years. But it was stronger, darker, with consequences. Should have tested my drugs. But I've Always been flighty and impulsive. Part of the reason for the Adderall in the past. A good day turned into a rough evening. The comedown perhaps? Or the consequences of doing too much in a short time span. Never had a reaction like this before. Should have tested my drugs. Wretched painful vomiting of every thing id eaten and drunk that day. Sour burning stomach. Deep hunger but which could not be satiated without more vomiting. I am a mess, In pain . This was not the witch I wish to be.
Bees crammed in my skull. A racket and a pressure and a pain. But it is late now. I curl up by my dog and take my CPTSD nightly meds and I pile myself in blankets.
Wake up two hours later. A dark and liminal night. The bees have departed and taken their pain with them, though a sharp ringing persists through my skull. Loud but not painful. My stomach still rolls.
I need to empty my bladder. I stand up and begin the careful walk. I wake up on the floor between the couch and kitchen. A sore spot on the back of my head. But not too sore. I must have caught myself as I was fainting, or crumpled rather than fallen. It's now light. Dawn and liminal. i aim for that bathroom again and this time am successful. I deliberate where to sleep. A bed is probably best.
I fiddle with a thin sliver of skin torn from thumb. Pull it up off out. No blood flows. This is not for a ward or an offering or a binding. This is just a scratch. Not the witch I wish to be.
I cannot remember which medications I've taken though I do need more sleep. Risk taking excess or wait to see if I slumber? I am no witch. I am an addict with a burning desire to find a purpose that pulls me away from these mistakes and dependencies.
I am a woman shattered repeatedly by the men she loved and now sure there will be no more men. A woman who feels things too strongly. A woman who has buried her traumas over and over. Until Monday. The first day of therapy in ten years. Monday we begin again the process of excavating the embers that burn with anxiety and shame and regret and the back of my throat. That stop me from taking a full breath for fear a bringing a flame to light and choking me in its smoke. Not sure I have skeletons in my closet, but I've got kindling in my esophagus.
So we will dig it up. Pull up the pieces and examine them. Then eat dirt and worms and fallen leaves til I have a healthy bed. And then I will fill my chest and stomach with flowers and magic and light. And I will be I've step closer to being the witch I want to be.
I'm coming to join you. My path is unstable. It may be I that is unstable. But I do understand life, what it's supposed to taste like. Who and what is dulling it and attempting to deny it to those of us that recognize it's power.
And so I suppose I announce my arrival. Or my pilgrimage. I stand at your entryway I declare who I will come to be. I hope this is the place for me. At the least it will be a place of resting and learning for a woman whose feet and back and soul need rest and rejuvenation.
My name comes from Gwenhwyfar, the white witch. But you can call me Jennie. I seek your embrace.

I'm curious because for me it was very different from any other time i've taken them. I was 15 and I'll never forget how I felt the first time I took adderall. I took it before going on a bike ride and all the sudden, while I was out riding my bike, I start to feel this intense feeling of euphoria. It was like I could fly. The effect was too euphoric for it to make me want to study. It was only after the second time I took it it that it made me focused and I've never felt anything quite like it from taking adhd meds again. Prolly for the best since it's basically m3th. Now I take ritalin and it's a better fit for me anyways lol adderall made me moody.

Hello I wanted to speak about my experience since being tested positive with HR HPV & I having bad health anxiety. I’m just constantly spiraling! I feel like after I was told I have HPV my mind turned on the OCD switch to the max. I don’t know if it’s just me but now I get so disgusted any time I clean myself down there and wipe. Just knowing I have HPV disgusts me and I know like 80% of women have it but I just don’t look at myself the same. Every time I wipe down there I wash my hands like 3x and apply hand sanitizer 2x.
(This might be a lil T.M.I.) Before being told I have HPV I would masturbate almost every night to take off some stress. But since being told I have HR HPV my libido is the lowest it’s ever been (& I’ve been a horn dog even when I took adderall for ADHD…..iykyk….) & even after I spoke to my doctor about it and told her my concerns she was basically like “nah girly you got the type that only effects the cervix and even if you have sex with your partner it’s not like it’ll get worse bc you already have it” and I was like “let’s fucking go.. I guess?”. She even told me I can go full on American Pie 🥧 if yk what I mean.
I guess I’m typing this out to see if anyone else feels like this? Am I alone on this? (Also I have a colpo in 2 weeks nd scared after hearing the horror stories from here 🤨)

I’ve already posted one post. No damn judgement. I need to find Adderall and at this point as sad as it is I need to find it illegally. And before you judge the life I’ve been thru is one that people watch movies over and cry that if you heard it you thought it was fiction. People like me need help a lot don’t get it and become addicts I healed I got help I got diagnosed and have been diagnosed since 10 been taking 7 fucking medications my entire life. So tell me how the mental health system is coming into to fail me now. I need it I’m not someone who takes the shit for fun trust me I wish I could just take it for a high but I don’t I live daily taking my meds just to live life normally. So just because there’s people out here that choose to get high on things (which is okay I never am the shitty person that judges cuz I’ve been there it gets low and sometimes when you go thru enough shit numbing it is the only way out some people can never find the help to heal) crazy thing is I made it my life mission to heal so right now I have to be anonymous I help so man damn people heal from there trauma and I have children I need to somehow buy adderall I’ve been thru every avenue. But it’s been two weeks of trying anything legally just to get a prescription I’ve been on since 17 years! And have been denied wow just wow way to go Americas health system your failing another damn person. Problem is I can’t even function properly without it I’ve tried. You never need something to live with a Karen will say well yea Karen come back to me when you have a chemical imbalance and lash out at damn near anything when it gets to a certain point you completely lose yourself as a person when you’ve worked so damn hard to find yourself and even try to help others. I don’t care how when or where someone please freaking help me here for the love of god I screamed and yelled at my children a 1 and 3 years old. I’ve worked so damn hard to break the cycle to love and cherish my kids to actually give them a real loving mother that would always be here I discipline them yes but yelling and spanking just isn’t what I do. I’ve completely done a 180 and for the past week I’ve never seen my kids look at me the way they’ve been. So never thought I’d come here illegally idc the government doesn’t care about me well now I don’t give a damn just someone fucking help me. I’ve found these online pharmacies and some people say they are legit and some say they aren’t all I need is any kind of 30mg stimulant at this point and I have to dish out 300 just for 30 so shit man I don’t have the most money and not trying to dish out money for getting screwed over so some for the love of god please point me in the right direction. Btw I’m in Maryland/princess Anne. They cut off most adult on adhd medication due to abuse of it and investigating who actually needs it but it’s now been 2 weeks with no answer so here I am begging for anything. And watch nothing happen that’s the worse part.

i’ve been on adderall since 2016 or so. started at 5mg xr and made my way up to 20mg xr and have been taking that dose since probably around 2018 or 2019. it’s been very effective until probably about a year or so ago. i always felt it “kick in” before, i could feel my heart start beating a little more, the background noise inside my head got quieter, and i felt way more compelled to get shit done. now, i feel almost nothing. it’s been that way since the shortage. after the shortage was over, and the meds started rolling into pharmacies again, i no longer feel like it’s working. maybe they changed the formula, or maybe im going crazy. i’ve taken tolerance breaks before. usually a week or two, and i felt like it worked better after the breaks. with the shortage, i went almost a whole year without it and it just feels like it’s not working.
is anybody else feeling like this? or does anybody have any recommendations?? i’m about to start up college again and im worried i will not be able to focus how i need to focus without drowning myself in caffeine.
side note, i have the kind of ADHD where im thinking about multiple things at once and also have two songs in my head at the same time. listening to lectures while that is happening in my brain is very very very difficult. and adderall used to quiet the brain noise, but now it does not.

This will be a bit long so there will be a tl,dr at the end if you don't want to read all of it. I'm new at this so bear with me.
Bit of background about myself I [18F] have diagnosed combination type ADHD though for my entire life my doctor has recommended I be tested for Autism and my school has always been saying that I have Autism for as long as I can remember. I have never been emotionally attached to my parents while I am grateful for all they have done for me I have just never been attached to them like I would care if they were gone. When I was in elementary school I was a very hyper child and I was not well behaved at all due to this in kindergarten my teachers would often tell me to go off to another part of the room away from everyone else and give me things to play with so that I would be distracted and they could teach the rest of the class without me disrupting them so I would pretty much be isolated from everyone else. I have been in special needs classes since kindergarten and I have only been put on medication for my ADHD once which was when I was 8 but I was taken off it by my parents as it turned me into a "zombie" I believe the medication was Adderall but other than that I have been unmedicated for ten (10) years. My parents have been married 18 years, I believe they got married because my mother became pregnant with me
I discovered that my mother was cheating on my father about two (2) or three (3) months ago though I had been suspecting it for over six (6) months I just never had any solid proof until two (2) to three (3) months ago. Recently I had my friend send my father the proof of my mother's affair that I have collected but to my surprise after they talked for around 15 about it their relationship has improved significantly compared to how it's been for over a year. This all started in 2023 my mother began constantly face timing this guy we'll call P I had never seen before whenever my father wasn't around when I asked about it she said P was just a friend and so I believed her and I had even spoken to the guy though he didn't sit well with me as he seemed like a prick. After about a month of my mother constantly on the phone with P whenever my father wasn't around I began to wonder if there was more to this, so I began listening in on their conversations whenever I could to see if I could hear anything that indicated that was an affair but I never got anything out of it besides lewd jokes and comments from P about black women. During this time she was giving my father zero affection and had even stopped telling me that she loved me even I said it to her.
Eventually I got fed up with them constantly talking to each other and I was very angry with my mother for taking me and my three (3) year old brother to the park for as she called it "family time" only for her to be off on her own away from us and on her phone the entire time texting and face timing P and even flat out ignoring me numerous times whenever I tried to talk to her or asked her to watch me do something, this upset me because I like getting attention from others and she had denied me that. So after I was fed up with them I went off on my mother for the first time ever while she on the phone with P and said some not nice things to her and said not nice things about P, I also brought up my suspicion of her having an affair which she denied and when I pressed her about why said lied to me about things regarding P such as where he lived, how she knew him, why she only ever called him whenever my father wasn't around, and why she started talking to him she told me it was because she "wasn't allowed to have friends" which is not true she has many friends many of which I know. After that all happened I stopped talking to her for a while and she stopped calling him whenever I was around and I began to wait for opportunities for when I could take her phone and go though it as I knew her password. I couldn't just wait for her to go to bed as she is a light sleeper and my father goes to bed a different times from her so he would see me and question me as to why I was taking her phone or she would end up waking up and question me so I had to wait for when she left her phone unattended which wasn't very often.
Two (2) months ago I was able to swipe her phone and go though it and it was all right there. I love you's, naked pictures, sexual conversations, talk of divorcing my father for P and taking my brother with, and I made sure to get plenty of pictures of it and I even found out that on a trip she took to "Ohio" in which is paid 300$ for plan tickets to and from she had actually not went there and instead went to the state P lives, I also found P's Facebook where he had pictures of himself with my mother together and the dates the pictures were posted and the date my mother left for her trip matched up, during that trip she had actually never even called back home to talk to me, my father, or my brother. For a while after I confirmed my mother was cheating on my father I blamed myself because P asked me if I was okay with him talking to my mother (This was when I still though he was just her friend) and I said I was and it made me feel like I was the one that allowed this to happen but I realized it wasn't my fault and the only one to blame was my mother. After my mother returned from her trip she had actually wanted to have sex with my father for the first time in a while though I suspect she only did it because she had sex with P and wanted to do it with my father in case she became pregnant though I have no evidence to prove this but I do know that birth control does not work for my mother as when she conceived me, my sister, and my brother she was on birth control same as her mother though take that with a grain of salt as my mother is terrible at taking medication at the same time everyday. After that I began to plan out what to do, I didn't care about what would happen to me if they got divorced I was thinking of how I could try and get this to work out best for my brother. My at the time boyfriend had gone though a similar situation as to what I was going though, his mother cheated on his father and divorced him and ran away with her affair, leaving behind her children and leaving her ex-husband in lots of debt from legal fees. I didn't want that to happen to my father so I talked with my at the time boyfriend and my friends as for what I should do and I also looked into what the divorce laws in my state which my state does not count adultery as grounds for divorce.
Eventually I got another chance to go though my mother's phone and it was more of the same old stuff but in one part she told P that she was in the process of filing some kind of legal paperwork and P seemed excited about that there was also a "protected files" thing on her phone that needed a password to get into but since it wasn't the same password as the one to her phone I couldn't get it. Once I saw that I knew I couldn't wait any longer and I had my friend send my father the proof though a burner phone number so none of it was connected me and they wouldn't know I had all of the evidence then I waited for him to confront my mother. It didn't take long for that to happen as soon as she came home from work he was on her about it but he never raised his voice or showed any kind of aggression towards my mother they just calmly talked for about 15 minutes. During so my mother never showed any kind of regret or remorse, she never even said sorry mostly just saying "believe what you want to believe" she told my father that he was just a friend from high school (Though I think there is more to it than that) and that he was obsessed with her and wanted her to divorce my father for him and even her parents where egging her on to do it but she said she didn't want to give up her family and home just to start all over and that if she wanted to leave she would have already left, but that doesn't really make sense to me as if you cared so much about your family and the life you built then wouldn't you show some kind of emotional response when all of that was threatened? she also implied that the lewd pictures she had sent P he had paid her to send them. After they finished talking they hugged and carried on with their day like nothing had happened and they have been doing things they hadn't done in years, cuddling in bed together, kissing, and hugging. Today I checked my mother's phone again and it seems she has stopped talking to P all together and doesn't even have him as a friend of Facebook anymore and I can't find their messages on Facebook messenger anymore though I doubt she really stopped.
TL,DR: My mother cheated on my father but after exposing her cheating to my father their relationship began to improve, I want to try and fix my relationship with my mother for the sake of my brother but I don't know how to go about it
While their relationship is improving my relationship with my mother is in the trash I have told her to stop talking to me or doing anything with me period as I despise cheating but I would like to attempt to fix my relationship with my mother because I want to be in my brother's life and I feel if things between me and my mother sour she will prevent me from being around him and I plan on moving out as soon as I am able to. I have two (2) older half sister's 21 and 25 respectively (Same father different mother) but I don't get to see them much since they have their own lives and one of them even has her own family, my mother also doesn't like them and I feel she played a role in keeping me from seeing them when I was growing up and I have one (1) younger sister that was put up for adoption though it is an open adoption so I still see her every now and then, I have never been able to form any kind of relationship with my siblings as I never grew up with them and I scarcely saw them during my childhood but my brother is the only one I have been able to be with long-term and I want to be able to build a relationship with my brother as he grows up and I believe fixing my relationship with my mother will help me be able to do this. I want to be able to fix things between me and my mother for my brother but at the same time I don't want to reveal that I was the one that caused her little affair to get exposed as I feel that will damage our relationship even more. How should I approach mending things with her without damaging things further? I don't believe cheaters should be given a second chance with the person they cheated on but I want to fix things between me and mother at least temporarily for my brother.

Says if she can’t fall asleep she’s going to the ER “for my health” AND she’s never ever ever had this problem before.

1. Taking multiple Adderall XR in a day is why you can’t sleep you lying ass female dog.
2. You’ve never ever had this problem before? Honey we just did this same exact thing in Nov/Dec. Same exact alleged symptoms.
3. You’re a POS. Not relevant to this particular post but always valid.

That is all.

My psychiatrist just put me on adderall recently and told me to stop taking the bupropion in fear id be overstimulated with the two medications. I started adderall and stopped bupropion on the same day, and I’ve been feeling very heavy headed and have been experiencing a lot of brain fog. Is this anything you guys have experienced before? How long does it last?

I switched from Adderall to Dexedrine about 5 months ago. Since then, I've had remarkable success with maintaining commitment to productive habits which I had been neglecting for several years!
But I still have a tendency of rushing things, and that is not what anyone should be doing if you're doing really delicate work, like working the plaque and rotten bits of food out from between your teeth.
Flossing too hard can ERODE YOUR GUMS!!
so if you want to start building a flossing habit, here's my advice:
TAKE YOUR TIME!!
Proper flossing technique is a challenging skill to master, you need to practice at it.
Do it in the evening before bed! That way, you won't be stressing about running out the door in the morning to catch the bus!
Gently wiggle the floss between your teeth and gums, and slowly bring it all the way down until you feel the tiniest of pressure. It's important to maintain a calm & relaxed state when you gently work it up, and all the way back down again!
Remember, you're not sanding wood here!
Repeat this 3 times before switching to the adjacent gum, and soon you'll be all finished!
Same goes for brushing, THE TINIEST BIT OF PRESSURE! You want a soft-bristle toothbrush, and you'll gently glide it across your teeth and gums.
Take. your. TIME! You don't have to tug as hard as you can, donshaknow!
THE END

I couldn’t remember if I had taken my Adderall before leaving for work. Normally I can tell right away which it is but was having a hard time of it. At one point I mentioned my internal debate aloud. One of my coworkers reminded me of a feature in the Apple health app for tracking when you take meds. It’s a simple feature that involves manually pressing the button for the day to indicate you took your meds.
I laughed.
My brand of brain functioning reads those words as a new layer of hell waiting to happen. I instantly imagined myself still wondering if I took the pill and wondering if I updated the app accordingly.
Did I take the pill but forget to mark it? Did I forget the pill and that’s why it’s not marked? Did I take the pill and accidentally mark the wrong day?
It would add more confusion and illuminate nothing for me! Not to mention I try and stay as far away from my phone as possible due to how prone I am to rabbit holes and distractions. I’d be halfway to taking my pill, not want to forget to mark it so go to pull up the app, see a notification or just have straight up instant amnesia, and end up scrolling myself late and unmedicated. I see it 🔮
He could not understand why I rejected the idea but I appreciate his efforts. I’m sure it works well for many in this community but I also know there’s a whole lot of you that can relate.
Edit: I very much love y’all’s suggestions for remembering! There’s some really good stuff here. I should have clarified that I have a good system in place already, I just moved recently and am still getting my routine and everything worked out in the new digs 😎. Appreciate u guys!

So my friend on PlayStation got into Sea of Thieves and as such the rest of my friends have gotten back into it over on Xbox. I'll start by saying that I didn't get very far in terms of progression back when I played a couple years ago.
My friends and I have always felt completely out classed in all forms of combat with other players. When it comes to naval combat (not including them boarding us like they're Sam Fisher) we can't seem to damage them enough to sink them. Our performance when it comes to hitting with cannons is varied but generally ok I would say. We can hold out fine with repairs and all that, but the fight just doesn't seem to get anywhere.
I'm aware of the basic strategy and have watched numerous videos as well as asked other players (when they weren't actively trying to kill me) what I should do to better my skills in combat. The general consensus is don't be an idiot and keep your cannons on them whilst keeping their cannons off of you where possible. Aim for the mast with chainshot and drop their anchor if you manage to board them, at which point you can circle around them and blast them from all sides. If their mast is down then try to keep them from getting it back up via cannons or even blunderbombs. All that is just common sense more or less, but we can't seem to get to that stage because we keep getting boarded and obliterated instantaneously via blunderbuss.
When it comes to boarding I don't understand how it feels this unfair. I'm well aware of the "controller only" option and I always opt for that because I know I wouldn't stand a snowball's chance otherwise. Obviously boarding via ladder means you're gonna get blasted immediately, but when I get launched into their ship via cannons I feel like I wouldn't be getting disintegrated by a blunderbuss within the first second of landing. I've been told numerous times, and have experienced more than enough times, that the blunderbuss is the best weapon to have. I know it's possible to get a one shot kill if you can blast them from point blank range and as such, I always keep the blunderbuss equipped.
This is where I'm gonna sound like a kid in a Call of Duty lobby. Whenever I blast people from unfathomably close range with the blunderbuss, I rarely get the one shot kill. What's even more baffling to me is that even after getting a close range hit, the proceed to take three or more shots from about three or four feet away and then I'm getting killed from two to three shots on average.
Two points that need to be brought up are helping and accuracy. I know you can heal, but the problem is that in these instances, that are the source of my frustration, they never put their weapon away and I see them reloading before firing again and they rinse and repeat. When I do see them heal then obviously I can understand why their tanking as many shots as they are, especially if it's a pineapple that they scarf down. As far as accuracy there's obviously a lot of variation because the blunderbuss fires pellets in a spread. Understandably not all of the pellets are going to connect (unless the barrel is down their throat) but a good portion of pellets hitting would lead me to believe that they've received a fair bit of damage. The fights that are the most infuriating is when we're both hopping around like rabbits and firing the blunderbuss whenever we see fit like it's a no-scope battle from mw2 (the good one from 2009), contrary to a no-scope battle, there's no luck involved which makes me feel like I'm playing with a handicap. I'm pretty good at hopping around and hitting shots, but am I just not hitting enough with enough pellets and their just hitting me with a couple more? It feels really bad when I've spent all this time sailing around looting or whatever and when a fight comes around I just can't win.
Given the variation in schedules, if I'm playing with somebody it's almost always on a sloop, but sometimes we have enough people online for a brig. When it comes to fighting on the Brigantine I feel less confident because there's a lot more to cover and the slower speed definitely throws a wrench in the usual way we maneuver during combat (which is obviously a skill issue). When it comes to Sloop vs Sloop combat, I feel fine and can maneuver the ship comfortably and efficiently. But when we get in a fight we can NEVER sink them. I believe I've sank an enemy sloop three times throughout my entire career. We can blast them to hell with cannons and knock down their mast, but then we get boarded and get blasted while they repair their ship and keep the pressure on us. Given that you can only have two people on a sloop, they must be on Adderall to be performing all those tasks that quickly whilst their crewmate assaults us onboard our ship. The best we can manage is killing them when they board while we still get hit from their cannons. We can hold out for a long time and keep some pressure on them with our cannons, but between them boarding and needing to repair, we wind up losing any kind of momentum we had in the fight. We're good enough at the naval combat, but can't get ahead in the fight when it comes to the player combat.
I'm honestly not sure what hope there is for me because I feel like I'm doing everything I can, but I'm just not good enough to compete with other players. I know there's the safer seas option, but that takes the fun out of it for me. I want to have conflict and I want there to be danger, but I just wind up losing every fight I get into. I'm not expecting to win every fight, I'm just wanting to not lose every fight.

For context: 23F, bipolar disorder 1 (stable w meds), now seeking treatment for ADHD. Other disorders diagnosed as well but irrelevant.
I got my official diagnoses when I was 21. Everything finally made sense. Started treatment for bipolar disorder and am officially stable. Now currently treating ADHD.
If you don’t know, stimulants can cause hypomanic/manic episodes in individuals with bipolar disorder. Stimulants are widely discouraged if the patient isn’t taking a mood stabilizer and/or antipsychotic. (This is also true for antidepressants as well).
Now that I’m medicated and stable for that, we tried Strattera first. The starting dose didn’t help, and the second dose made me so incredibly nauseous I couldn’t even work. Now we’re trying guanfacine. I’ve heard it makes you super groggy even when taken at night. I already struggle tremendously with low energy and low motivation.
Prior to my diagnosis, I had taken Adderall XR in my teens. Obviously, it worked as intended rather than make me speed. That is what led to my self-diagnosis. My brain was just… quiet. It’s like all the tabs closed and the radios turned off and I could have one singular thought at a time. If I thought about something I needed to do, I just got up and did it. No pep talk. No procrastination. No beating myself up because I just simply couldn’t. I just did it.
I haven’t told my psych about the adderall because.. ya know. Illicit use still. But I’m getting tired of this trial and error (I was previously medicated for MDD and bipolar 2 for roughly 10 years before my bipolar 1 diagnosis) with medications, and I know that Adderall at least helps. But I also can’t afford to come across as drug seeking. ADHD is really starting to impact my job and my personal life. I have a husband, a toddler, two cats, work full time, college part time starting in the fall, etc.

I feel guilty.. I suggested she (dx) talk to a doctor about some of her issues which I attributed to adhd. The doctor prescribed her and our marriage of 15 years is going down the drain. I am not perfect and I do not pretend to be but we are to the point she has told me she isn't sure if she wants to divorce or not. She was never like this before Adderall but now I am to the point I do 10 things right and mess up on 1 and I am back down to -20. I am a chronic pain sufferer with 25% of my back fused with spinal cord damage thrown in and everyday is pain. I do what I can and before it was good enough but now its not.
She had workaholic tendencies before and now its kicked it into full gear. She is working 12+ hour days at home and then crashing. There is rarely us time. I recently lost my job due to hospital stays that was (wrongly) denied FMLA and now that I am at home all the time she excepts me to do everything around the house. That is fine but at the same time she wants me to spend 10+ hours a day applying for jobs. As well as taking care of our kid. I just cant keep up.
She was unable to take any criticism before and now its completely out the window. So asking about lower dose or changing meds is out the window. I am coming to terms with our relationship is may be over even though I am fighting like hell for it but I cant get past the idea of not being near my kid all day everyday. We have had somewhat heated discussions and I felt like at points she was saying stuff just to try to egg on a reaction. I am not a yeller and never have been but it seems like she is trying so she can say I am the bad guy.
Example: She talked about heading to visit her mother with our kid for a small vacation and i broke down balling. Her reaction... "Ohh that hurt"
I don't know what I can do. We share the same doctor I don't even know if I can a consolation she would listen to me about my wife or the extra stress. Any ideas?

I was diagnosed with adhd and have had trouble with providers that weren’t “comfortable” prescribing controlled substances. I had to switch providers just to actually start treatment.
I am currently on Bupropion (300mg) and Methylphenidate (40mg) but I still feel shaky/restless/ anxious, won’t stop bouncing my legs or doing rocking motions trying to relax in bed. Going to sleep is a pain because I can’t stop my mind from thinking.
Paying attention during tasks that I hate doing like practicing my driving has improved, I definitely don’t space out as much and don’t tense my body as much but I still do and it’s scary because I could get someone really hurt and I don’t mean to.
I have used adderall before (partying with a girl who had ADD. When I didn’t get high and instead started focusing on sorting the card game we were playing she said I most likely had ADHD which prompted me to seek diagnose and treatment.) and it worked to make my mind quieter and focus on the tasks I had to do. Hell, I even enjoyed doing said tasks.
Because of previous providers denying even the possibility of me getting an adderall prescription now I’m really scared and anxious that when I ask for it if I do ask I will be treated as a “seeker” and not taken seriously.
Any advice? Should I just come clean and tell my psychiatrist that I have used adderall before and that’s the reason I want to take it?
TIA.
Edit: I also want to add that I am able to have off days from Ritalin and most of the times I sort of use it as needed (I don’t know if this is a thing but I don’t like that it makes my personality dull and sometimes bitchy.) when I have a lot of things to do in the day or if I have to drive.

I've refrained from using my Vyvanse since a month before surgery, and am now 3 weeks post SmartSurface PRK.
Vyvanse and Adderall are well known to cause dehydration issues for skin, mouth, and eyes... Which I've personally experienced.
I'm wondering if anyone else has also taken a break from their meds and, if so, when did you begin taking them again?

I've never had a lucid dream before, but would like to learn how. My current problem is I get little to no REM sleep. I currently take escitalopram, wellbutrin and adderall every morning and been taking triple magnesium complex, vitamin c, active vitamin B complex, l-theanine, fish oil, MSM, and recently added 5mg of melatonin to my evening supplements.
I do consume caffeine throughout the day, usually just one redbull, and indulge in some Marijuana smoking or gel capsules (I mainly use it to treat nausea, so I can eat without feeling like I'm going to vomit) but usually is worn off by the time I go to sleep.
I have no problem falling asleep, I can take adderall, or drink a redbull before bed and fall asleep without issue.
Regardless, my Garmin watch is constantly showing that I hardly get any rem sleep, and always have poor sleep score. I tend to go to bed late and naturally wake up early which decreases the amount of sleep I actually get.
Honestly any advice is welcome, whether it's routine, supplements, lifestyle changes please do so. I know that Marijuana can effect REM sleep but my nausea can be crippling and i haven't had success with anything else.

Backstory: Before having my kids I nannied full time for years. I drove the kids to classes, took them places daily, and had no stress or fear or depression. I was truly happy. Important to note, I have ADHD and was on 54mg of concerta at this point.
After some significant life changes happened I began working downtown in a really bad area and I worked nights with no issues. My doctor switched me to 50mg of adderall shortly after this and I went into psychosis and had to quit taking any form of ADHD medication.
Covid shutdown happened, and I never felt more relief, happiness, or sense of safety in my life. It was one of the last times I remember consistently feeling happy every single day. I developed hobbies and just felt so at peace. When things reopened I went back to work downtown and my husband and I found out we were expecting. Everything started changing at this time and my anxiety got so bad I quit my job. *something did happen that caused me to quit that was very traumatic - a man out of his mind on drugs broke into our work with a weapon and destroyed everything and I had to run to the bathroom and hide and I thought he was going to kill me. I pressed charges but the police sent him to the hospital and he was released and because he was homeless nothing happened.
I had my first child and within weeks it was like my entire personality switched. I developed extreme OCD, anxiety, horrible depression, constant crying, fear of leaving the house alone, complete fear of driving, and starting having intense daily rumination about my childhood traumas or any sort of interaction that felt "negative." I had to go on Lexapro, stayed on it for a few months and then quit taking it because it was quieting my OCD and made me have no desire to clean or do anything.
Around the time my child was 1 year old things started to go back to normal, I was leaving the house a lot, and feeling a lot better. 2 years passed and we got pregnant with our second child. When second child was born, I had no postpartum depression and I thought I was past what I had gone through. Around the time second child was 4 months old everything restarted and it's been worse. I physically cannot leave the house alone, I can't drive without my heart racing and my hands going completely wet. I will do anything to avoid leaving the house alone. I wait for my husbands days off or a family member to have availability to go anywhere. Anything we need from the store I get through order delivery or pickup. When I drive, it's like I can't remeber any rules of the road and I have an intense fear that I will be pulled over and taken to jail for driving badly. I have had 2 tickets in my life, this is an unrealistic idea but it's so intense I can't override it with logic.
I am curious if anyone with similar experiences had a success with wellbutrin.

I’ve been trying to fix up my schedule for the best of my mental health by waking up early in the morning going to the gym before my partner goes to work but usually I’m still really tired I heard Celsius was pretty good and I drank some this morning maybe like 3/4 of the can and that stuff had me feeling like I was on crack I mean, I take Adderall I didn’t with the drink, of course but it literally has the same effects but worse , tho I’d love to say it does work because it does within minutes does anybody else drink this ?

I have a strange issue where I go through these periods of waking up too early - like 6-7 hours after bed and it kills me because I KNOW I need sleep.
Unquestionable N2 diagnosis in 2016, dealt with a loooot of imposter syndrome and have been medicated consistently since 2021.
Basically I wake up early, crave more sleep and lie there in that weird REM/awake zone, but everytime I start to drift off my arms and legs get so uncomfortably tingly and spasm. I know this is a rem/sleep paralysis kind of thing, and doesn't feel like RLS because it doesn't last. My body just jerks awake every time I start falling back asleep and it's TORTURE. plus I get all these very confusing lucid dreams just in my room and it's allllll messed up haha.
I take Armodafinil and Adderall XR 20mg (I take that one in the afternoon and don't have trouble falling asleep bc I sleep around 1am). I'm also on Lexapro and Lamictal for BP and just stopped Wakix and Sunosi a few days ago, but this has been an issue my whole life.
Lexapro 20mg morning, Armodafinil 150 morning, Lamictal 150 morning and 100 around 2pm (it's activating for me), Adderall around 12-1
Thankfully I know to take long naps to make up for it, but it's really inconvenient and feels awful. I wake up not only feeling like a groggy human piece of garbage (lol) but I know it exacerbates everything else and makes work really difficult.
I feel like I'm an outlier here. Anyone else struggle with this?
Side bar: I'm generally very good and lifestyle treatment. I eat low carb, intermittent fasting bc it works great for me, no food 3-4 hrs before bed, strict sleep hygiene with extreme, goody blue light glasses everyone makes fun of me for and no screen time, I do meditation and yoga and exercise and all the things. So it's not anxiety or anything like that. Pls don't tell me to cut carbs haha I already do.

Hi! I’ve been taking 60mg of Strattera (non stimulant) daily for over a year and I love it. My Dr added Ritalin a few months ago to help with focus on days that I need it, not every day. But, I feel like it’s making me more irritable/angry, which is something I struggle with without meds so making it worse is not ideal. Has anyone gone from Ritalin to adderall or vyvanese and had a good experience? She picked Ritalin because it’s the least likely to cause anxiety/irritability but I know everyone is different. Just wanted to get others input before talking to her or giving up on stims all together because they do help with focus, which is the one thing that Strattera doesn’t help with very much.