Moving in with boyfriend new state is it worth it

Team Fortress 2

2008.07.19 23:52 Team Fortress 2

This subreddit is dedicated to Team Fortress 2, created by Valve Corporation in 2007. After nine years in development, hopefully it was worth the wait.
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2019.05.08 20:22 The_Cactopus Teamfight Tactics

The number one subreddit for all things Teamfight Tactics!
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2020.12.19 11:51 Dkayed9 Yu-Gi-Oh! Master Duel

Yu-Gi-Oh! Master Duel!
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2024.05.19 14:33 Few-Conversation9053 I (22f)don’t know why I keep calling my ex (22m), after meeting new guys ? Can you suggest me how do i manage things ?. Cause I cant keep hurting feeling of someone whom I have started dating recently

I am(22f) probably dating my friend (22m) . We know each other since 7 months . Since last 1 month , we have been bit close. We have met twice in last 1 month . It’s always short meeting once it was 7-8 hr and other time it 2 was around 2 hr . It’s always amazing meeting him . I just love spending quality time and want more as well. I do like him , but there is a complication that if I do like him than how could my heart sink thinking about my ex boyfriend. After meeting him , I felt great but both the times after 2-3 days I called my ex , although didn’t answered my calls . But I do tried to call him . Idk why I went to call him , both the times after 3 weeks . I just felt disgusting why have I done that . On one side I am hugging someone else and than on other side calling my ex after few days . I do told him that I called my ex , he felt bad , but asked me that we should not move ahead until I am over with my ex . That’s completely fine . I really like him , may be not that too much or may be it’s a guilt because I am seeing someone else that I call my ex ( my ex bf broke up with me ) I m really sacred what if when I like him too much , he doesnt want to ride in that ship
submitted by Few-Conversation9053 to u/Few-Conversation9053 [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 14:31 JustImposs Fight with my uncle over non - binary and lgbt. Need tips and advice

Hello. I'm not non - binary but i am a gay male and today i went to have a nice Sunday lunch with my uncle and my aunt. My uncle is my father's brother and since i was little i always viewed him as a second father. I loved him since i can remember. He always loved me like his own kid too. My whole family is extremely religious (greek orthodox) and very traditional and don't approve of everything lgbtq. When my parents found out that i like men a few years ago we had issues for a long time. Then i moved away in the country capital and everything was better. My only relatives close to me here are my uncle and my aunt where i go for a family meal every one or two weeks.
So yeah i went to my uncle, we were cooking and drinking coffee. I always kept personal things to me just because i knew my uncle wouldn't understand and when we discussed about everything else, he was very open and informative. Keep in mind that i always adored him like a superhero. Then i asked a simple question "Did you watch Eurovision?". He immediately said that it was great that he didn't because there was this "demon witch with the pentagram". I understand that a pentagram can scare an orthodox but i never expected what came next:
I understand that he may not understand or like the LGBT, he doesn't have to, but people, the momment he talked about how they should end themselves, i started panicking. I myself struggled with these thoughts and had many difficulties for many years. I have received a lot of support from friends, boyfriends and my sister. But hearing all these mean, inhumane things from a "christian orthodox that preaches love" was devastating to me. Funny thing is he "didn't want to hear a single word about it" but he kept talking to himself over and over as long as the words weren't coming from me. I went out to the balcony alone to try and relax. I was shaking. It was not that i was sad for me as an lgbt who previously wanted to end his life. I was sad that my childhood hero said mean things like these to people who just tried to find themselves. I found it unfair how Nemo grabbed the mic and preached for love and unity as a "satan follower" and the "god follower" wished death upon people. That moment i decided that even if it would hurt my uncle, i would pack and go back home for the day. My uncle said he wanted to talk but i was already packing. I know that maybe i should have stayed and talked but i was scared, sad and didn't have the courage to sit and eat or talk with him. When i was leaving he told me that "i was making him sad and that what i was doing was not right". I replied "you shouldn't go to sacrament (i had to google that) next Sunday in church". I left. I was shaking and crying all the way back.
The internet is a dark place. I know that here i might get some amazing tips about what to do next, a few discussions but also some mean things. Some people will hate the fact that a gay man tried to defend a non binary person. I mean, if people want to be mean to me they will find a way. Still, i felt the need to defend you people, even if it means ruining the relationship with my family members. I hope that i did the right thing. Even if i don't manage to get any more tips about what i should do next, the fact that i took all these thoughts out of my chest and expressed myself makes me feel relieved already. Thank you for reading my story.
P.S: Please don't show a lot of hate to my uncle :)
submitted by JustImposs to NonBinary [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 14:31 tobedeleted-user I [M30]think I broke my wife [F26], and now she hates herself. What can I do to make my wife feel pretty again?

I apologize in advance, as english is not my first language. Pretty much everything here I've translated on google. Two weeks ago, my wife (F26) and I (M30) were at a party, her father's birthday party. It was going well, then her parents ntroduced us to an old couple of friends of theirs, from when they were around our age, and their daughter (F29) too, who I recognized as an old friend from high school. Let's call her Andrea (fictional name). For context, me and my wife are not the jealous type, as our relationship is based on trust, and has always been. So, when Andrea and I sat together on a table and started talking, my wife didn't mind it, and stayed with her family. I remember Andrea as being the fun kid when we were in highschool, and she was still just as funny. We're laughing and having a good time, and she started getting a bit "touchy", but nothing worth worrying about, I thought. I was wrong. She was definitely getting touchy, feeling my arms and asking if I started working out and this type of stuff. That's when I fucked up, because I didn't stop her. In fact, I held her hips at some point, and then my wife came in. She was obviously jealous and angry, but didn't make a scene. She started asking Andrea if she's married, or has a boyfriend, that type of territorial stuff, and at some point, Andrea got uncomfortable and excused herself. I told my wife she was being rude, and she started accusing me or flirting with Andrea. Of course I told her I wasn't, that she was overreacting and Andrea was just an old friend, but my wife insisted that I was flirting and cheating. Then I got mad. Cheating? I snapped at her and said she was being childish and insecure, overreacting. What then if I was enjoying the attention? It is definitely not the same as cheating, is it? She then said something that made me go silent, something along the lines of "cheating starts in thought, you don't need to have sex with someone else to cheat". I insisted I didn't cheat on her, and that I never would, but she just gave up on arguing and tried to enjoy the party with her family. When we got home, later that night, my wife was silent. I didn't say anything either, just assumed that we were over it, since she didn't bring it up. For the next couple weeks, she still didn't mention anything, and neither did I. We didn't talk much, and she was also never in the mood for any intimacy. I thought it was okay, and that everything would be back to normal in a week or two. It didn't, and now I know I made all the wrong decisions. Last night when I got home, my wife was in our bedroom, staring at herself in the mirror with a grimace. I asked if she was alright, and she just shake her head. I kept asking what was wrong, and she broke down in tears saying she looked hideous. For context, my wife is far from hideous. To me, she's the complete opposite, and so to everyone else. I'm not exaggerating when I say she can't even go out for groceries without people ciming to compliment her beauty and her nice hair. So, to hear she say that, it broke me. Of course I told her she's beautiful, but she kept on sobbing and saying she never felt so ugly before. I didn't know what to do or say, I just held her and kept telling her just how pretty she is, but she had that apathetic and gloomy expression on her face, and kept crying herself to sleep. I'm writing this as she sleeps besides me. My heart is completely broken, and I just wish I could go back in time and never hurt her in the first place. My wife mean everything to me, and I don't know how to fix things. Has anyone here ever been through something like this? How do I make my wife feel pretty and special again?
submitted by tobedeleted-user to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 14:31 Strayy00 22 year old friend is dating a 16 year old.

i’ve been friends with this guy for 8 years. i found out this week through a youtube video of the girl calling him her “boyfriend” that my 22 year old friend is dating a 16 year old online. the age of consent in the state she lives in is 16, but my friends and i have still been planning to report it to the authorities, because of the.. things we’ve seen him do with her on video games (namely VRchat) would the police do anything about this?
submitted by Strayy00 to legaladvice [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 14:29 Fujifilm-X100V As a contractor, how do you request higher pay without people treating it as if you're asking for a raise?

I am currently a contractor for a federal agency and have been so since Late 2021.
At the end of 2022 the contracting company I was with, to their surprise, lost the contract with the federal agency I work for. They were applying for a 5-year extension rather than the normal 6-month extension these companies normally get, and I guess whatever amount they were asking for the agency didn't agree with so they dropped them last minute in place of a new contracting company. - This is further solidified by the fact that my recruiter from the previous contracting company texting me asking who the new contracting agency is and how much they're paying me, which I never responded to.
The pay I was offered for the new company was abysmal to be frank. It was a $10,000 pay cut. Given that I live in a high COL area and my position involving a lot of travel around the state I told them this new pay would be impossible to work with. I already wasn't making much to begin with but it was somewhat livable. My new pay is not.
The recruiter told me over the phone to just sign the papers since they needed to get the paperwork filed ASAP, and that they'll handle getting me my former pay rate before I'm officially back on. Absolutely major mistake on my end to not get that in writing because when I contacted the recruiter after my first check they played dumb about the conversation we had over the phone. "Oh it says here on the papers you signed that this is the pay rate you agreed to, if there's an issue we can talk to the CEO." - I knew I was fucked from that moment and got played.
I'm a year and half in with this new agency and have seen 0 raises. I did ask, but was told that decision has to be made by a specific person at the federal agency and that the contracting company doesn't have the ability to provide raises.
Unfortunately, said person at the federal agency has a lot going on in their personal life right now, so getting me higher pay is pretty damn low on their list of priorities right now, and I feel like I'd be overstepping my boundaries trying to contact them directly.
I tried contacting my manager at the federal agency but my email was ignored. Which I don't blame my manager for since they probably have to very careful about how they respond to everything I said.
I get that the government is cheap, and I was told that the new contracting agency I signed on with basically got it because they accepted the lowest offer the gov made. They are hoping to get a 5-year extension at the end of the year, but I was told by a supervisor at the federal agency that that's not going to happen, and that it never happens. They'll just dump the company off once they ask for too much money and repeat the process taking on a new company that accepts the lowest offer.
Am I just SOL? I had to reiterate several times that I am not asking for a raise, just my former pay. I am seriously lost as to how my pay goes down but I'm expected to travel upwards of 700 miles upon request. I've heard FTE's refuse to travel for their managers for significantly less distances under 100 miles.
submitted by Fujifilm-X100V to fednews [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 14:29 Blueredreditor Advice for Prospective NUS Business Student

Congrats on choosing and making it into NUS Business School! I previously wrote here: https://www.reddit.com/SGExams/comments/118r7cg/all_about_studying_business_in_nussmuntu/ on what are some factors when considering between NUS, SMU and NTU business school. For better or worse, you'll be stuck here for the next 4 years so here's some broad advice on making the best out of it.
1. Put in effort to draft out your own Study Plan; Future you will thank you
What is a study plan? Essentially, it's an outline on what modules you'll be taking throughout your 4 years in University. Especially for a business student, a study plan should go beyond "what majospecialization/double majominor". Yes, figuring what major (or majors) that you want to eventually take is the first step. The next step is also considering whether you intend to take a gap semester (i.e. leave-of-absence) to do internships (which is becoming increasingly more common place; maybe not 1 gap sem but possibly even 2!). The unfortunate truth is that many biz student realize late in Year 2/3 that they might not be as competitive as their peers and usually then seek out LOA internships and end up delaying their graduation (whether its a good or bad thing is debatable). Besides gap semesters for internships, there are student who do credit bearing internships (which counts for some credits/MCs) or even do a part-time internship during the semester while studying (Do modules on Mon and Tues, FT work of Wed, Thurs, Fri). Not every student get's their desired summer internships, and often student have to compensate by applying for Off-Cycle LOA internships.
In your study plan, you would also have to take into consideration possibly going on overseas semester exchange or even the 6M to 1 Year long NOC program if you're interested! Overloading more modules earlier in your Uni (Y1 and Y2) gives you more flexibility to adapt to changes in the future. Of course, you need to gauge yourself whether you're able to cope with the workload. (Overloading in earlier sems, mean being more free in later sems to do internships/explore other modules or minors).
Additionally, most higher-level modules have pre-requisites (mostly ACC1701). If you delay taking these pre-requisite modules, your whole study plan can be delayed by a semester. My advice is to take ACC1701 (and consequently FIN2704) earlier rather than later, because these two mods open up the other majors/specializations available to you. You'll also figure out whether you'll want to to take the finance major after taking these two modules.
  1. CCAs
There's a ton of CCAs available NUS-wide or Business School related. I strongly encourage you to take multiple CCAs (importantly taking into consideration what you can manage and your workload) so that you're able to meet new people and learn new skillsets. NUSC/RCs/Hall activities also count here. The unfortunately truth is that portfolio does matter in business school, and simply being good in academics (which can be competitive in itself) isn't enough. You GPA/CAP allows you to have your foot in the door; your portfolio and experience allows you to enter it. Consulting CCAs in general are great an improving your eye of aesthetic and detail which I recommend. You'll be surprised that many biz kids are outright bad and atrocious at making PowerPoint slides even at Year 4... I would say that the CCAs you join do shape your uni experience in a large way.
  1. Group Mates
Find good friends and group mates! Those in NUSC/RCs/Halls have an easier time for this. For most of your basic core 1k modules, you group is usually randomized and you have no say on who you're working with. It is during these randomized group that you'll figure out the pain of having poor group mates, and things get worse if you're taking higher level and tougher modules alone. On this note, try to find friends that will do various modules together with you! Having friends doing the module together with you is a huge advantage, from extra resources, dead line reminders, doing quizzes/tests together etc. 5 brains working on a problem set is always better than 1 brain by itself, these 5 ppl will often get a better grade than the one hardworking individual working alone. Implicitly, those who stay on campus have a huge edge over those who don't.
  1. Business is ultimately not a technical degree
Controversial to some, but business school at the end of the day doesn't really teach you much. The only thing that it does teach is showmanship (and even then sometimes not taught well enough). Business School arguably teaches you how to carry yourself well, make fancy PowerPoints, use some excel, working with people (?) etc. Many of the more relevant things you learn, you learn them in your internship and your own experiences outside of the classroom e.g. CCAs. To me, doing well in Biz School is focusing on everything outside of academics (ensuring that you have some baseline CAP/GPA).
5. Figure out early whether you prefer Excel or Power Point.
The corporate world only runs on two applications, Excel and Power Point. Dabble in both, figure out early which application you prefer more and find a relevant internship/role/job that you enjoy decently that uses one over the other. Truly, Excel and PPT are the only takeaways when you leave the university. Great consultants are adept at handling PPT, navigating through them quickly with many templates in their desktops. Finance peeps do a little more excel work and have to do them well, fast and creatively. Even at the end of uni, there are still many students who can't use excel proficiently at a high level.
6. Internship Hell is real for those who care
Internship application period in itself can be a full-time commitment (for those that care). When internship applications open, you can will going through your own interview prep, doing several recorded interviews, applying to new internships etc. Many moving parts to juggle and a lot of ground work to be done. From preparing for interview questions, writing cover letters, tailoring your CV etc alot of the hell you experience in Biz school actually comes outside of academics contrary to popular belief (as Jean-Paul puts it, "hell is other people", bad group mates im looking at you). For those applying to more technical roles, you might also need to prep extra for technical questions e.g. IB 400 questions, consulting cases, market sizing brain teasers etc.
7. Not so much of an advice, but rather a plea from me to you
I really hope business students can be more code literate and savvy i.e. being able to read (and to a lesser extent implement) coding e.g. python or SQL. ~90% of the biz population are code illiterate (having only taken just 1 "coding module"). In a normal corporate workplace, you'll never have to code. But being able to think computationally, knowing the steps you can take to automate your task, time and workflow brings you more benefits than you can imagine when most corporate work that people do and typically repetitive and administrative.
In conclusion, do your best in biz school. I think effort correlates strongly to how well you do here. You don't need to be smart (it makes life easier) but with enough forward thinking and future planning, you'll be able to grow through the next 4 years (and hopefully be worth it).
Feel free to ask any question in the comments, or for any seniors to elaborate and share their own experience! Left out a lot of controversial views not wanting to trigger anyone or NUS. Edit: I'm a graduating student from Biz, later they dont let me grad
Some extra links:
  1. An event calendar regularly updated by NUS Careers, usually has lots of interesting and relevant events, competitions, webinars (if that's your thing): https://nus.edu.sg/cfg/events
  2. Grading rubrics to apply for SEP, there is an actual rubrics to secure an SEP, please refer for those wanting to go: https://bba.nus.edu.sg/wp-content/uploads/sites/37/2019/07/SEP-Place-Allocation-Grading-System-2018-10.pdf
submitted by Blueredreditor to nus [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 14:27 Alive-Flatworm-4273 The case for Eminem dissing Drake on Kamikaze

The ‘evidence’:
  1. “You got some views, but you're still below me. Mine are higher, so when you compare our views, you get overlooked. And I don't say the hook unless I wrote the hook”. This is the most overt to me, and it’s self-explanatory.
  2. Ghostwriter references. These are littered across the album - see Lucky You, Kamikaze etc. The context is important, Drake was being destroyed at the time (and still is) for having Ghostwriters. Eminem has always been one for topical disses and this feels very in-character for Em. Yes, the use of ghostwriters have been referenced in popular rap songs for years (see Kendrick - Kunta Kinte), but for Em to reference it multiple times with pretty strong vitriol feels highly suggestive of a Drake diss.
  3. Normal feels pretty much like a parody of Drake’s cadence and delivery. There’s also what sounds like an imitated Drake ad-lib around 3:18-3:23, hear it for yourself. If Em was dissing the Migos flow in The Ringer and Not Alike, then a case can be made that Normal is a Drake sub.
  4. “Sorry if I took Forever”. While this is more of a playful jab, that he stole the show on a posse cut with pretty much the 3 most coveted hip hop artists at the time, it’s obviously partly in reference to Drake.
I’ve ranked these in terms of pertinence to Drake (obviously, this is subjective).
To me, the first two weren’t even subliminal. They were overt, he name dropped Views, and the only artist that was topically associated with ghostwriting at the time was Drake. He also name dropped Forever, obviously.
As much as Em likes to say he doesn’t do sublims or sneak disses, he’s been doing it a long time, post hiatus too. Look at Recovery and the features around the time, his scathing of the main players in the rap game was a big inspiration, and it’s a fairly commonly accepted notion that his collabs with Lil Wayne were full of sublims (mostly as (un)friendly competition). “You wear your heart on your sleeve, I sport that white tank boy” was also most likely for Wayne. There is also a case for several Kanye subs over the years. Em can be a petty man at heart, that’s what gives him fire.
My theory is that he had a disliking to Drake being a top hip hop artist despite not being an emcee at heart. This made Drake in-scope as part of his general frustration at the rap game at the time (a key inspiration for Kamikaze), obviously not helped by the Drake ghostwriting news. So, he wanted to bait Drake into writing a diss response to initiate a full on battle, hence the overt but ultimately inexplicit nature of these ‘disses’. We have to remember Em’s frame of mind around writing Kamikaze. He wanted all the smoke with anyone, and was fully ready to enter a battle with anyone that responded - see MGK.
I think he probably had a sense of regret on reflection, hence the daughter’s birthday party interview, once the fire in his belly he had while writing Kamikaze diminished, but I do think the intention was there. Also, he had played his hand, it was Drake’s move and he chose peace - let’s remember that rap beefs have been started on more subliminal and ‘reach’ disses than those above.
For what it’s worth, think it would have played out similarly to the Kendrick - Drake beef only Drake would have been charred rather than his armour being badly chinked.
submitted by Alive-Flatworm-4273 to Eminem [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 14:27 Spirited_Apricot1093 DRS after buying?

Hey guys, I’m new to the DRS thing. I bought GME (and other stocks) on Moomoo before I knew about it. A few questions:
  1. When I go to the below website, I can’t even find moomoo on the list of brokers. Does anyone know what else moomoo goes by? I searched and saw maybe Futu something.
https://www.drsgme.org/register-from-broker
  1. In your opinion, is DRS essential for buying all stocks or just volatile stocks like GME?
  2. Lastly, I saw that the fees to switch from moomoo or questrade (which my husband uses) to DRS are about $300-$400. Is that right? If so, I don’t think it would be worth it for us to make the switch based on how much skin we have in the game. In that case, would it be better probably to just buy any future GME with DRS instead?
If you have any recommendations on educational videos or instructions about starting with DRS I’d be happy to read up/watch.
Thanks a bunch to any who respond!
submitted by Spirited_Apricot1093 to Gamestopstock [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 14:26 Sweet-Count2557 Best Things to Do in Montauk Ny

Best Things to Do in Montauk Ny
Best Things to Do in Montauk Ny Welcome to Montauk, where adventure and relaxation await.As avid explorers, we've compiled the best things to do in this charming seaside town.From historic landmarks like Montauk Point Lighthouse, to picturesque beaches such as Ditch Plains and Hither Hills State Park, there's something for every traveler's taste.Indulge in luxury at Gurneys Star Island Resort & Seawater Spa, or immerse yourself in local culture at Deep Hollow Ranch.Quench your thirst at Montauk Brewing Company and feast on fresh seafood at Gosman's Dock.Montauk truly offers the freedom to create your perfect getaway.Key TakeawaysMontauk offers a variety of outdoor activities and attractions, including the Montauk Point Lighthouse, Montauk Point State Park, Camp Hero State Park, and Ditch Plains Beach.Visitors can enjoy beautiful ocean views, engage in water sports, go hiking or fishing, and explore historical sites in Montauk.The area also offers luxurious resorts and spas, such as Gurneys Star Island Resort & Seawater Spa, as well as unique experiences like horseback riding tours at Deep Hollow Ranch.Montauk is known for its local craft brewery, Montauk Brewing Company, as well as fresh seafood restaurants and shops at Gosman's Dock. Visitors can also explore local farmers markets for fresh produce and artisanal products.Montauk Point LighthouseWe absolutely love the rich history and breathtaking views offered by the Montauk Point Lighthouse. As one of the oldest lighthouses in the United States, it stands proudly on the easternmost tip of Long Island, New York. Constructed in 1797, this National Historic Landmark is a must-visit attraction for anyone exploring Montauk.When you arrive at the Montauk Point Lighthouse, you'll be greeted by its iconic white tower and picturesque surroundings. Step inside and embark on a guided tour to learn about the fascinating history of this maritime beacon. Explore the museum, which showcases artifacts and exhibits that highlight the lighthouse's significance. Don't forget to visit the gift shop to pick up some souvenirs to commemorate your visit.After immersing yourself in the history of the lighthouse, take a moment to soak in the captivating oceanfront views. The panoramic vistas of the Atlantic Ocean are simply breathtaking. Feel the cool sea breeze on your face as you gaze out towards the horizon.As you leave the Montauk Point Lighthouse, you'll be eager to continue your exploration of this beautiful area. Luckily, just a short distance away, you'll find Montauk Point State Park. This expansive park encompasses 862 acres and offers a wide range of activities and amenities for visitors to enjoy. So, let's head over to Montauk Point State Park and discover even more things to do in Montauk!Montauk Point State ParkLet's explore the expansive Montauk Point State Park, which encompasses 862 acres and offers a wide range of activities and amenities for visitors to enjoy. Here are five reasons why you should make a stop at this popular attraction:Picnic tables and playgrounds: Take advantage of the park's amenities and enjoy a relaxing picnic with your loved ones. The park offers plenty of picnic tables and playgrounds for children to enjoy, making it a perfect spot for a family outing.Fishing and stand-up paddleboarding: If you're a fan of water activities, Montauk Point State Park has got you covered. Grab your fishing rod and cast your line in the park's fishing areas, or try your hand at stand-up paddleboarding and explore the beautiful coastline.Stunning scenery and ocean views: Prepare to be captivated by the breathtaking views Montauk Point State Park has to offer. As you explore the park, you'll be treated to stunning scenery and picturesque ocean views that will leave you in awe.Hiking trails: Lace up your hiking boots and hit the trails at Montauk Point State Park. With a variety of trails to choose from, you can immerse yourself in nature and discover the park's diverse wildlife and plant species.Wildlife watching: Montauk Point State Park is a haven for wildlife enthusiasts. Keep your eyes peeled for a variety of bird species, including ospreys and peregrine falcons, or spot seals lounging on the rocks along the shoreline.Montauk Point State Park is a true gem on the eastern tip of Long Island, offering a little something for everyone. Whether you're seeking adventure, relaxation, or simply a connection with nature, this park has it all. So pack your bags and get ready to explore the beauty and freedom that Montauk Point State Park has to offer.Camp Hero State ParkCamp Hero State Park, located on a sprawling 754 acres, offers a captivating blend of historical significance, outdoor activities, and scenic beauty.As one of the premier destinations for fishing, the park boasts hiking trails, a beautiful beach, and opportunities for shopping and dining.From exploring the park's rich history to immersing oneself in the stunning natural surroundings, Camp Hero State Park has something to offer every visitor.Historical Significance and PreservationCamp Hero State Park, spanning roughly 754 acres, offers a fascinating glimpse into the historical significance and preservation of the area. Here are some highlights:Historic Military Base: Camp Hero was once an active military base during World War II and the Cold War, and remnants of its history can still be seen today.Bunkers and Coastal Defense: Explore the park's iconic bunkers and coastal defense structures, which played a crucial role in protecting the coast during wartime.Historical Interpretive Signs: Learn about the park's history through informative interpretive signs placed throughout the area, providing insights into its military past.Nature Trails: Take a stroll along the park's nature trails, where you can enjoy the serene beauty of the surrounding landscape while learning about the area's natural history.Scenic Beach: Relax on the park's beautiful beach, which offers stunning views of the ocean and a peaceful atmosphere.With its rich history and natural beauty, Camp Hero State Park offers a unique experience that combines historical exploration with outdoor recreation.Now, let's move on to the section about outdoor activities and recreation.Outdoor Activities and RecreationWe can explore a variety of outdoor activities and recreation options at Camp Hero State Park, such as hiking, beachcombing, and birdwatching. This sprawling 754-acre park offers something for everyone, with its beautiful beach, scenic trails, and abundant wildlife. Whether you're a nature enthusiast or simply looking to enjoy the great outdoors, Camp Hero State Park has it all. Take a leisurely hike along the well-maintained trails and immerse yourself in the stunning natural beauty of the park. Beachcombing is also a popular activity, allowing you to discover shells, stones, and other treasures along the pristine shoreline. And for those who enjoy birdwatching, the park is home to a wide variety of bird species, providing an excellent opportunity to observe and appreciate these feathered creatures in their natural habitat.Outdoor ActivitiesRecreation OptionsHikingBeachcombingBirdwatchingScenic Beauty and ViewsOur favorite part of Camp Hero State Park is its breathtaking scenic beauty and views, making it a must-visit destination. Here are five reasons why you should experience the stunning vistas at Camp Hero State Park:Cliffs overlooking the Atlantic Ocean: Stand atop the rugged cliffs and gaze upon the endless expanse of the majestic ocean.Rolling hills and lush greenery: Take a leisurely stroll through the park's picturesque landscapes, surrounded by vibrant vegetation and rolling hills.Pristine sandy beach: Enjoy a relaxing day at the beach, where the soft sand meets the cool ocean waters.Panoramic views from the bluffs: Hike up to the bluffs and be rewarded with panoramic views of the surrounding coastline.Spectacular sunsets: Witness the beauty of the setting sun as it paints the sky with vibrant hues, creating a truly magical experience.Camp Hero State Park truly offers an escape into nature's beauty, where you can immerse yourself in the breathtaking scenery and enjoy the freedom of the great outdoors.Ditch Plains BeachDitch Plains Beach offers miles of sandy shoreline and is renowned as a top-rated surfing destination. As we step onto the beach, the salty ocean breeze instantly fills our lungs, creating a sense of freedom and adventure. The crashing waves beckon us to dive in and experience the thrill of the ocean.With its wide expanse of sand, Ditch Plains Beach is perfect for sunbathing and picnicking. We can spread out our beach towels and soak up the sun's warm rays, feeling the sand between our toes. Lifeguards patrol the beach, ensuring our safety as we enjoy the refreshing waters.For those seeking a more active day at the beach, Ditch Plains offers excellent swimming and fishing opportunities. The clear blue waters are inviting, inviting us to take a dip and cool off from the summer heat. As we swim, we can't help but marvel at the beauty of the surrounding coastline and the vastness of the Atlantic Ocean.However, it's surfing that truly sets Ditch Plains Beach apart. With its consistent waves and strong swells, this beach attracts surfers from all over the world. Whether we're beginners looking to catch our first wave or experienced surfers seeking an adrenaline rush, Ditch Plains Beach provides the perfect playground. The crashing waves provide an exhilarating challenge, allowing us to ride the ocean's power and feel the freedom that comes from conquering nature.Ditch Plains Beach isn't only a paradise for surfers, but it also offers a sense of freedom and escape for anyone who visits. The expansive shoreline, the endless horizon, and the crashing waves all combine to create an atmosphere of boundless possibilities. It's a place where we can let go of our worries, embrace the present moment, and experience the pure joy of being alive.Hither Hills State ParkLocated on the beautiful Montauk peninsula, Hither Hills State Park offers a stunning beach facing the North Atlantic Ocean and a variety of outdoor activities such as hiking, skiing, and paddleboarding. Here are five reasons why you should visit Hither Hills State Park:Campgrounds and Nature Trails: Immerse yourself in the beauty of nature by camping at Hither Hills State Park. With spacious campgrounds surrounded by lush greenery, you can enjoy a peaceful night under the stars. The park also features well-maintained nature trails that allow you to explore the diverse flora and fauna of the area.Pristine Beach: The beach at Hither Hills State Park is a true gem. With its golden sands and crystal-clear waters, it's the perfect spot to relax and soak up the sun. Whether you want to take a refreshing swim or simply lounge on the beach, this idyllic setting won't disappoint.Hiking Trails: Lace up your hiking boots and hit the trails at Hither Hills State Park. The park offers a variety of hiking trails, ranging from easy strolls to more challenging treks. As you traverse the trails, you'll be rewarded with breathtaking views of the ocean and surrounding landscapes.Skiing: During the winter months, Hither Hills State Park transforms into a winter wonderland. With its gently sloping hills and well-groomed trails, it's the perfect place to enjoy cross-country skiing. Glide through the snowy landscape and marvel at the beauty of the park in winter.Paddleboarding: For those seeking a more adventurous experience, paddleboarding is a must-try activity at Hither Hills State Park. Explore the calm waters of the North Atlantic Ocean and enjoy the tranquility of the surroundings. Whether you're a beginner or an experienced paddler, this activity is sure to provide a memorable and invigorating experience.With its stunning beach, diverse outdoor activities, and serene atmosphere, Hither Hills State Park is a true paradise for nature lovers and adventure seekers alike. So pack your bags, embrace the freedom of the Montauk peninsula, and embark on an unforgettable journey at Hither Hills State Park.Lake MontaukWhen it comes to Lake Montauk, there's no shortage of boating and fishing options. The lake's sandy beaches and bustling marinas make it the perfect destination for water sports recreation.Whether you're looking to go fishing, boating, or jet-skiing, Lake Montauk has it all. Additionally, the waterfront attractions like restaurants and shops provide the perfect setting for a scenic cruise or a leisurely stroll along the lake.Boating and Fishing OptionsOne of the best boating and fishing options in Montauk is Lake Montauk, where we can enjoy sandy beaches, bustling marinas, and the opportunity to go fishing, boating, and jet-skiing.Here are some highlights of what Lake Montauk has to offer:Sandy beaches perfect for sunbathing and picnicking.Bustling marinas with a wide range of boats and watercraft.Excellent fishing opportunities, with a variety of fish species to catch.Exciting boating experiences, from leisurely cruises to thrilling water sports.Jet-skiing adventures for those seeking a more adrenaline-fueled experience.In addition to these activities, Lake Montauk is also home to waterfront attractions such as restaurants and shops, where you can enjoy delicious meals and browse for unique souvenirs.Waterfront Attractions and ShopsOur favorite part of Lake Montauk is its waterfront attractions and shops, where we can indulge in delicious meals and browse for unique souvenirs.The sandy beaches and bustling marinas offer a picturesque backdrop for a day of water sports recreation. Whether it's fishing, boating, or jet-skiing, there's something for everyone.The waterfront restaurants serve up mouthwatering dishes made with fresh seafood caught right from the lake. After a satisfying meal, we love exploring the various shops and boutiques, where we can find one-of-a-kind treasures to bring back home.And for those looking to relax and take in the scenic views, there are scenic cruises available to enjoy the beauty of Lake Montauk from a different perspective.With its vibrant waterfront atmosphere, Lake Montauk is a must-visit destination for those seeking freedom and adventure.Scenic Cruises and RestaurantsWe love taking scenic cruises and dining at the restaurants along Lake Montauk, as they offer a delightful combination of breathtaking views and delicious food.Here are some highlights of what you can expect:Sandy beaches: The lake boasts beautiful sandy beaches where you can soak up the sun and enjoy the cool breeze.Bustling marinas: The marinas along Lake Montauk are filled with boats and yachts, creating a lively and picturesque atmosphere.Fishing: Whether you're a seasoned angler or a beginner, the lake offers excellent fishing opportunities for various species.Boating and jet-skiing: Explore the lake's crystal-clear waters by renting a boat or a jet ski and enjoy a thrilling adventure.Waterfront restaurants: Indulge in mouthwatering seafood and other delectable dishes while overlooking the serene beauty of Lake Montauk.Gurneys Star Island Resort & Seawater SpaLocated on a private island, Gurney's Star Island Resort & Seawater Spa offers us stunning ocean views and a wide range of luxurious amenities. This luxurious resort and spa is the perfect destination for those seeking relaxation and rejuvenation in Montauk, NY.As we arrive at Gurney's Star Island Resort & Seawater Spa, we're greeted by the breathtaking beauty of the ocean surrounding the island. The resort boasts a private beach where we can lounge under the sun and take a refreshing dip in the crystal-clear waters. For those looking to unwind even further, the resort offers a tranquil pool area where we can lounge on comfortable sunbeds and enjoy poolside service.When it comes to dining, Gurney's Star Island Resort & Seawater Spa doesn't disappoint. The resort features several on-site restaurants and bars, offering a variety of culinary delights and refreshing beverages. From fresh seafood to gourmet cuisine, there's something to satisfy every palate.For those seeking ultimate relaxation and pampering, the resort's spa is a must-visit. With a wide range of spa services and wellness activities available, we can indulge in massages, facials, and body treatments that will leave us feeling refreshed and rejuvenated.Gurney's Star Island Resort & Seawater Spa truly offers us the freedom to escape from the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Whether we choose to relax on the private beach, indulge in delicious cuisine, or pamper ourselves at the spa, this luxurious resort provides the perfect setting for a truly memorable getaway.Frequently Asked QuestionsWhat Is the History Behind the Montauk Point Lighthouse?The history behind Montauk Point Lighthouse is fascinating. Constructed in 1797, it's a National Historic Landmark and a must-visit attraction in Montauk, NY.The lighthouse offers guided tours and houses a captivating museum. You can explore the gift shop, which sells souvenirs.The highlight is the breathtaking oceanfront views that will leave you in awe. This historic landmark is a testament to the rich maritime history of the area.Are There Any Fees for Entering Montauk Point State Park?Yes, there are fees for entering Montauk Point State Park.The fees vary depending on the time of year and the type of vehicle.For pedestrians, the fee is $10 per person.For vehicles, the fee is $10 for cars and motorcycles, and $20 for buses and RVs.There is also a fee for fishing, which is $8 per person.These fees help support the maintenance and conservation of the park.Can Visitors Swim at Ditch Plains Beach?Yes, visitors can swim at Ditch Plains Beach. It's a top-rated surfing destination with miles of sandy shoreline.The beach provides amenities such as lifeguards and beach wheelchairs. It's perfect for sunbathing, picnicking, swimming, fishing, and of course, surfing.The captivating ocean views and the sound of crashing waves make it an ideal spot for water enthusiasts.What Are the Amenities Available at Hither Hills State Park's Campgrounds?At Hither Hills State Park's campgrounds, there are a variety of amenities available for visitors. These include well-maintained campgrounds, where you can pitch your tent or park your RV.You'll also find nature trails, perfect for hiking and exploring the park's beautiful surroundings.Additionally, the park offers easy access to a stunning beach facing the North Atlantic Ocean.Whether you're into camping, hiking, or simply enjoying the beach, Hither Hills State Park has something for everyone.How Can Visitors Access Lake Montauk's Waterfront Attractions?To access Lake Montauk's waterfront attractions, visitors can take advantage of the sandy beaches and bustling marinas. Whether you're into fishing, boating, or jet-skiing, there's something for everyone.Plus, you'll find waterfront attractions like restaurants and shops that offer delicious food and unique souvenirs.And if you're looking for a scenic experience, don't miss out on the opportunity to take a leisurely cruise on the lake. It's the perfect way to relax and enjoy the beauty of Montauk.ConclusionAs we bid farewell to the beautiful town of Montauk, we can't help but reflect on the adage, 'Time flies when you're having fun.'Our journey through historic landmarks, picturesque beaches, and luxurious amenities has been an absolute delight.From the captivating views at the Montauk Point Lighthouse to the adrenaline rush of surfing at Ditch Plains Beach, Montauk has truly captured our hearts.So, until we meet again, remember to seize every moment and cherish the memories made in this charming seaside town.
submitted by Sweet-Count2557 to worldkidstravel [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 14:26 Feeling-Examination6 "Lunatic Ignus" - New Black Myth: Wukong trailer is out! Another trailer at Summer Game Fest.

"Lunatic Ignus" stated that the new Black Myth: Wukong trailer is out with a price of 40$ in China. While it's not available to pre-order globally, they will wait until a big western show like Summer Game Fest.
"They still have a full CG trailer in works.."
https://x.com/ignusthewise/status/1792168833790140419
submitted by Feeling-Examination6 to PS5 [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 14:26 Otherwise-Teaching71 Unique retirement dentist/lawyer discussion

Hey all. Long time lurker on multiple forums.
Long story, not very short. 38/M.
I’m a dentist that grew to 5 offices, around 9.5M collections with a few partners. We joined a hybrid type financial model 4 years ago that has lead to massive undo stress in my life. I have a ton a debt from previous deals (~1M currently) in buying offices. When I joined with this new group, I essentially upped my pay significantly and got ownership in a much larger group (~55M collections). I did not receive any money, but when I retire I’ll get about 1.2-1.5M in a bulk sum.
The selling point of the whole model is that you still own your percentage of the company after you retire. Thats the main difference between selling to a PE firm and getting a higher one time payment. I essentially was intrigued by the passive income of this. This amount is currently 160k/yr (it’s part of my current pay, which is confusing).
I currently make around 800k (160k of which is a dividend that I will continue to get if I don’t work 1 day next year). This number is supposed to grow 5% or so each year indefinitely - I’m not planning on that.
I had a 3 year commitment, that’s done now. I’m considering turning in my retirement - without going into massive detail, this model is not built correctly for the type of offices that we brought into it. There is a ton of HR headaches I deal with each day and I have the stress of trying to keep expenses really low while still collecting the same amount. We have 8 associates and around 60 employees that I’m responsible for and it’s always something. I sit on multiple boards, which has led to a ton of time being spent in meetings.
When we came in, we are tied to a “management company” for 15 years that honestly charges an arm and a leg, but does not do much of anything to help me on the front lines. I can’t control this expense because the contract is 15 years long (!!!). My offices pay around 800k a year to this management company. I struggle with this mentally to be honest. I’ve lost control of my P&L, but I am still responsible for it.
To get to the point, I’m trying to decide about retirement/reset on life:
2M in brokerage account 400k 401k 100k cash 50k in various investments 30k in real estate fund 60k kids 529 House worth 700k (350k remaining loan at 2.1%/9 yrs remaining)
Expenses are higher than I’d like due to private school:
Large items: I would pay off all remaining practice debt with my bulk sum payment. I’d probably have 200-300k left over.
36k/yr house 10k/mo credit card (includes most commons stuff) 50k/yr private school (5 and 7yr old) 20k/yr vacations
For practical purposes, around 225k/yr expenses
Income after “retirement”: 160k/yr dividend 125k/yr (wife is lawyer who works remote. Health insurance is here. She may want to stop this at some point) 150k/yr (I will want to to work 2-3 days a week to keep my hands wet and have no responsibilities of management)
Total: Around 400k to be safe
My plan would be to never touch my nest of around 2.5M in investments, and just let it grow for another 10-15 years. At very conservative numbers (3-4%) I think it could be 4M. At that point, it we had no income other than the dividend of 160k/yr (assume no growth), we could draw down if needed. I know I should have money left over each year to invest, but I’m being overly conservative.
Considering this stuff, would you all give up the 800k salary to get rid of the stress/headaches? (Remember, I get the bulk payment when I “retire” that will pay off all my debts). I feel like I have grinded pretty damn hard for 13 years and it may be time to take a break before I totally burnout.
submitted by Otherwise-Teaching71 to Fire [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 14:25 mywritingit [RF] Then and Now

As she lets me in, the real estate agent says that I am responsible to return the house to its original condition for the new tenants, otherwise the landlord will hire professional cleaners and claim the bond to cover the cost. She threatens to pursue the estate if the bond money does not cover the clean. I don’t know what gave her the idea that there is an estate.
‘A good family would do at least that much for each other, wouldn’t they? I’m sure there is lots of family… treasures in there you’d like to keep safe.’ she says, but I can see the disgust on her face as she discovers the state of the house. My stomach drops and squeezes my throat as her words bring back the guilt from our phone call.
Seeing this place makes me pity them. They had nothing. Why had I been so angry with them?
The agent was able to find me because legislation requires real estate agencies to have a next of kin for tenants. My parents nominated me as next of kin. Hearing that made me feel guilty. There was nobody else they could nominate.
I don’t reply to the agent and stare into the house. Roots of overgrown junk seek out space across the floor and holes in the wall break up the colour scheme of brown dirts, grey/green moulds, and black holes. One hole must be above a horizontal wall stud because a bottle of rum is sticking out at a 3 o’clock angle from it with its lid off.
The agent continues to talk, walks away to her car, and then drives away. At least, I assume she did when I finish staring into the house.
I walk through the house and open the door to my bedroom. It is the same as I left it years ago. The mattress festers, the walls remember cigarettes, and stains remain the only decoration. It hasn’t changed since I was born.
I know that there are thousands of events that make me who I am, but there a few which I like to remind myself of. I like to remind myself of absorbing the project slides of ENGIN103: Engineering for Transit and dreaming about what it would feel like to ride a train route that I had designed. I like to remind myself of arriving for an internship at Foley and Sons and not leaving until 10pm, so that I could see the nightworks for the motorway. I like to remind myself of sitting with Foley as he assigned me as project manager for the tunnel across the river. Last month, I apologised for the project issues so far.
“Projects have issues. That's why there is a project manager. We are lucky to have you,” he said.
I like to remind myself of that.
This house makes me remember what I don’t remind myself of. I remember my mother telling me that nobody she knew was smart enough to be an engineer and refusing to drive me to campus because it would be a waste of her time. I remember getting a sore back at 21 from having to study on my bed and staying at university all day so that I had a space to study. I remember studying on the 90-minute bus commute with only a single ham and cheese sandwich for lunch that sometimes made me sick because the fridge wasn’t cold enough at home. I remember my father telling me that I, “Don't know shit,” and that I would be dead in a week if I moved out in a housing crisis when I said being closer to university would be good for me.
A lump in my throat forms and it brings back a memory where I cannot speak, “You have one new message. Message received today at 8:55 PM. I knew you could do it. Looking good in those grad pics that Auntie Shirley posted. Let me kn–Message deleted. You have no more messages.”
Couldn’t I even text them back?
I pull my old bed out from against the wall, and it rattles the room as it grips the old timber flooring. There is still a loose floorboard. I pry up with a key and part the old collection of junk which I had stored over the years. I see a single scrunched up piece of paper. I pry it out of its ball and see the floor through numerous holes chewed out by rats. This is my first academic transcript. I showed this to my family after finishing my first semester of engineering. It reads that I was in the awarded a certificate for academic achievement after scoring in the top 5% of the grade. I had never worked so hard for anything. I had never achieved anything. My eyes swell with tears, and I hear them laughing, ‘Lot of good that does us. They only accept money at the grocery store.’
My guilt returns to anger.
I knew it was right then and I remember it now.
I turn around and I leave.
submitted by mywritingit to shortstories [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 14:25 Feeling-Examination6 "Lunatic Ignus" - New Black Myth: Wukong trailer is out! Another trailer at Summer Game Fest.

"Lunatic Ignus" stated that the new Black Myth: Wukong trailer is out with a price of 40$ in China. While it's not available to pre-order globally, they will wait until a big western show like Summer Game Fest.
"They still have a full CG trailer in works.."
https://x.com/ignusthewise/status/1792168833790140419
submitted by Feeling-Examination6 to GamingLeaksAndRumours [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 14:25 ConsequenceWest2080 27 and still figuring it out

Hi all -
I (27F) have entered my first dating relationship that has gone past a few dates as an adult and I’m unfortunately feeling like a fish out of water. I’m currently on week 6 of getting to know someone after being extremely content to be single for the last 5 years. I am hoping to gain some insight before I make any further decisions on what I want/am looking for.
At the beginning of April, I matched with 27M and after a couple days of chatting we met up for drinks. Since then, we have seen eachother almost everyday with the exception of a few days and a trip that 27M previously had planned with his family.
Here are the details:
•We live 30 minutes apart but he drives to see me at some point throughout the day whether after work or at some point during the weekend and I would say until 2 weeks ago it was mostly him initiating.
•We have spent time hanging out at home, going to the gym, going on a hike, eating out, getting drinks/going to happy hour
•He is very physically affectionate and sweet with his words - compliments are common.
•at the very beginning he paid for everything and now it’s a bit more equitable because I have insisted
•He took a clear nterest in learning things about my life. Whenever I randomly would mention something tough or a bit hard (not to be evasive but not to delve too much personal info too quickly) he would gently ask to know more and be very supportive in his response.
•We don’t text all day but we have communication daily
•He does mention the future often (3+ mos advance) and it is more so ideas “we can do this/we can go here/next time”. He does consistently bring up the same ideas
•He shares details about his family, his days, his friends without me having to ask
•We are intimate but not every time we see each other
•He and his family are immigrants and he has been up front about the pressure they put on him/expectations they put on him to be married/have kids m and he has openly communicated (not in a DTR convo) that he doesn’t want to think about marriage for another 2 years ish
•we have not DTR’d
•we have not met each others friends
Here is where I’m getting stumped:
I am personally not in a rush to be in a marriage-focused relationship. I am very content to continue to get to know eachother in the trajectory we’re moving and let things happen organically, especially because he has gently but consistently pulled the pace during this experience. The problem is that I am constantly inundated (without even having to look!) with the terms like “situationship” and constantly seeing all of these saying rules that people swear by that are making it hard to navigate this relationship without being fearful of all these added things people suggest/swear by etc. I want to disregard them and live my life and but i admittedly have such little relationship experience that part of me wonders if i feel resistance to these things because i am simply unaware.
Ultimately, before i decide on whether to DTR (not necessarily to be bf/gf but to just check in) I want to have a clear picture of what I’m working with with this person and be made aware of any signs that I am not aware of that I should be aware of.
Do you see any red flags? Yellow flags that I can keep an eye on? Green flags? If you’ve been in a similar experience, how would you navigate it? Do you need anymore info?
I am somewhat new to posting on Reddit so my apologies if I have done something wrong!!
*edited for formatting
submitted by ConsequenceWest2080 to dating [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 14:24 TarotLessTraveled Analogical Features paragraph 3: Le Mat and the Dog

Analogical Features paragraph 3: Le Mat and the Dog
https://preview.redd.it/elpfrqvsld1d1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=78d4a1ace797468df1931c82e96a3717645d9434
Le coin de chair visible chez l’homme, et sur lequel s’appuie le chien, est la partie la plus basse de lui-même, la partie restée animale en lui. Elle est nue, parce que malgré les habits qu’il s’est créés au cours de l’évolution, il ne peut s’en détacher. Le chien signifie également un reste des erreurs du passé qui trouble l’homme dans sa marche en avant. Ce chien symbolise encore un plan de vie inférieur qui tend à s’élever et à suivre l’homme; de même que l’homme s’est élevé au-dessus du plan animal, celui-ci ne devant pas oublier qu’en marchant vers son évolution, sa chute l’a ramené au rang de l’animalité et que dans sa marche il doit faire évoluer autour de lui les créatures inférieures.

In order to understand the third paragraph of Marteau’s Particularités Analogiques, we have to place his card within the historical context of Tarot de Marseille tradition, which starts with the 1639 deck attributed to Philippe Vachier, the earliest known TdM. Vachier’s Le Fol is depicted as the quintessential wanderer, with his bindle hanging off the end of a staff balanced over his shoulder and trekking pole in his right hand. He is out in the open, journeying we-know-not-where, dressed in the motley and floppy crown of a court jester; his face and hands are white – absent of color – which matches the broad white stripe below his golden belt. His face and hands are an even whiter shade of non-color than the featureless backdrop, but interestingly, his leggings and long sleeves are flesh-colored. Behind him is an animal which some recognize as a dog, others a cat; Marteau identifies it as a dog, so that is how I will also refer to it from this point forward. It appears the dog is reaching at a rent in Le Fol’s hose: perhaps it is responsible for shredding the leggings, or perhaps the tear was already present and caught the dog’s attention; we cannot say for certain. Nor do we know what the relationship between Le Fol and the dog is: it may be the dog is a companion on the road, or it may be that, as some have suggested, the dog is chasing a stranger away. In either case, Le Fol’s expression suggests that he is either unaware or unconcerned; his eyes are raised toward some distant horizon only he can see.
What is most intriguing, however, is that beneath the flesh-colored hose is dark green under-hose; what is revealed, then, is not the man beneath the costume but more of the costume. We cannot know for certain what Vachier was thinking when he elected to portray Le Fol in this way, but we can hypothesize from more general patterns.
Typically, clothing symbolizes persona, the person as presented rather than the person as is. An individual covers himself in a persona to fit into a collective social structure and identify what role he plays in said structure, but typically also, when we tear away the constructed outer layer, we find the individual within, which would be represented by his flesh. A common dream motif for many people is discovering that they are naked, “exposed.” This not only separates them from those around them (who are all fully clothed) but makes them vulnerable to judgments. Another function of the persona is it protects us from being seen, preventing others from observing those bits of us we do not want them to see because they embarrass us or because they are the aspects of us most sensitive to criticism and other attacks.
A few years after Vachier, a cardmaker working out of Paris, Jean Noblet, marketed a deck in which the most iconic image featured a similarly clad figure also named Le Fol but whose leggings were torn to a far greater degree, revealing underneath not only fleshy buttocks but fully exposed genitalia as well. Again, unfortunately, we cannot know what message, if any, Noblet meant to convey with his ribald depiction; however, we can note another striking difference between these two cards: while the Vachier figure’s flesh is white, Noblet’s is ruddy with blood and human warmth, except for his hands, which retain the strikingly bloodless white coloring consistent with the Vachier.
https://preview.redd.it/w9zn0tn1md1d1.png?width=949&format=png&auto=webp&s=7de0dee0327aa23d48ccb76915c24e69f6041596
Ensuing cardmakers in what became the Tarot de Marseille style mostly elected to follow the Vachier model. There were a few exceptions that did not go as far as Noblet but did show naked flesh-colored flesh under the rent hose; however, they were a decided minority until Paul Marteau released his deck in 1930 and introduced a kind of revival in this presentation.
Marteau did not break with tradition in this matter arbitrarily; his commentary makes evident that he thought deeply about the meaning of every detail, and we might have hoped that, being an expert in Tarot de Marseille symbolism, he would have compared and contrasted his deck with historical counterparts, meticulously explaining how the choices he made brought the cards into alignment with his philosophy. This, however, was never really an option, as Marteau promoted his deck as a faithful reproduction of the one published by Nicolas Conver in 1761, a master cardmaker in Marseille who, himself, “preserved the woods and colors of his remote predecessors” – a fiction that enabled Marteau to market his own work as the “Ancien Tarot de Marseille”; thus, any discussion of changes he made would only have served to undercut that claim.[[i]](#_edn1)
Marteau opens the third paragraph of his Particularités Analogiques writing that the visible region of flesh (“Le coin de chair visible”) represents man’s basest aspect, the part of him that remained animal (“est la partie la plus basse de lui-même, la partie restée animale en lui”).
Marteau’s premise is that Le Mat is on an evolutionary journey; his clothing typifies the collective aspect of that evolution, as it is the most obvious outward symbol of how man has risen from a purely instinctive and unconscious mode of being into a state of expanded awareness, not only of himself but his role within a social collective. When this is torn away, a far more primal and universal truth is revealed, one which has been increasingly concealed under layers of acculturation; it is the part of us that cannot be refined through education or social status and, thus, remains the source of our most profound shame, yet this is where the dog is able to make contact. In this paragraph, Marteau not only explains the nature of this contact but its wider significance.
My attempts at translation differ from those of Kitos Digiovanni, who writes that the dog “nips” at the “lowest part of him,” [[ii]](#_edn2) and Marius Høgnesen’s, who writes that “the dog hassles … the lowest part of man, the part representing the animal, that remains in him.” [[iii]](#_edn3) Both Digiovanni and Høgnesen characterize the nature of this contact as active, if not aggressive, and that coincides with what seems to be popular consensus. The respected tarot scholar Robert M. Place writes, “In the Tarot of Marseilles.... The seat of the Fool’s pants is being torn by a dog. This is meant to be comical, but it also signifies that the dog is treating him as a stranger, an assumption that is further supported by the fact that he is carrying a bag of belongings on his shoulder. The early Franciscans, who wandered through the countryside preaching and begging, found that they were treated with suspicion at first, and, like our Fool, they had to fend off the attacks of dogs.” [[iv]](#_edn4)
It is not my intention to argue whether this is a correct or incorrect interpretation of the image; tarot cards reflect the psychological motifs through which we view and make sense of the outer world. They help us to become more self-aware; thus, there are no right or wrong answers any more than there are correct or incorrect responses to picture interpretation or inkblot tests. My only concern is what Paul Marteau meant when he wrote, “sur lequel s’appuie le chien.”
“Le chien” is dog; “sur lequel” is the equivalent of “on which.” The key to comprehending Marteau’s interpretation of the image resides in how we translate “s’appuie,” which I understand to come from the infinitive “appuyer” and means “to press,” “to push,” or “to lean,” according to the Collins dictionary translator. This coincides with the Google, Reverso, and Bing translators as well, which also add “to support” to the list. Thus, the dog is not attacking and driving off an unwelcome stranger, nor is it tearing at Le Mat’s hose; the contact is less aggressive.
“S’appuie” is the reflexive form of the infinitive; therefore, it would mean “the dog leans itself” or “presses itself” upon the visible region of flesh; I translate it as “supports itself,” and render the first sentence, “The visible region of flesh in man, on which the dog supports itself, represents his [man’s] basest aspect, the part of him that remained animal.”
The commentary continues, “It is bare because despite the habiliments he has created for himself throughout the course of his evolution, he cannot deny it. The dog also represents a vestige of past failures that disconcert man in his forward march.” (Elle est nue, parce que malgré les habits qu’il s’est créés au cours de l’évolution, il ne peut s’en détacher. Le chien signifie également un reste des erreurs du passé qui trouble l’homme dans sa marche en avant.)
Marteau suggests Le Mat is looking forward rather than paying attention to the dog trailing him because the presence of the dog is an unwanted reminder of his failings and the fundamental nature that he would prefer to shed. In this sense, the dog is like the bindle, which contains man’s collective inheritance resulting from the Fall into carnal existence: it is attached by fixed rings to the staff he carries to prevent Le Mat from removing it and freeing himself of its weight. We may refer to ourselves as individuals and adhere to the mythology that we are singular, but this arcanum reminds us our lives are burdened by the accumulated history and transgressions of all mankind.
Finally, Marteau writes, “This dog furthermore symbolizes an inferior stage of life that tends to lift itself up and follow man; just as man raised himself above the animal plane, he must not forget while advancing toward his evolution his fall brought him back to a primeval state, and in his march he must inspire the lower creatures to evolve around him.” (Ce chien symbolise encore un plan de vie inférieur qui tend à s’élever et à suivre l’homme; de même que l’homme s’est élevé au-dessus du plan animal, celui-ci ne devant pas oublier qu’en marchant vers son évolution, sa chute l’a ramené au rang de l’animalité et que dans sa marche il doit faire évoluer autour de lui les créatures inférieures).
The dog is a less-evolved animal, yet it too feels the call to advance; it cannot accomplish this alone. Le Mat’s evolutionary march is not solely for his benefit; he has a responsibility to all living things, for he also arose from a primitive state, and just as he is inspired to become something more, he must engender this same inspiration in others.

My translation: The visible region of flesh in man, on which the dog supports itself, represents his [man’s] basest aspect, the part of him that remained animal. It is bare because despite the habiliments he has created for himself throughout the course of his evolution, he cannot deny it. The dog also represents a vestige of past failures that disconcert man in his forward march. This dog furthermore symbolizes an inferior stage of life that tends to lift itself up and follow man; just as man raised himself above the animal plane, he must not forget while advancing toward his evolution his fall brought him back to a primeval state, and in his march he must inspire the lower creatures to evolve around him.
[[i]](#_ednref1)Marteau, Paul. Le Tarot de Marseille. Arts et Métiers Graphiques, Paris, 1948. Imprimé en Suisse 1984. The quote comes from the “Introduction.”
[[ii]](#_ednref2)Kitos Digiovanni’s blog https://smallcabin.org/le-tarot-de-marseilles-by-paul-marteau/
[[iii]](#_ednref3)Paul Marteau. Tarot de Marseille. Trans. Marius Høgnesen. Published by circleandtriangle, 2021.
[[iv]](#_ednref4)Place, Robert M. Tarot: History, Symbolism, and Divination. New York: Jeremy P. TarchePenguin, 2005.
submitted by TarotLessTraveled to SeekingMarteau [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 14:24 broccolikiwi concerned about new cat

hello! i just got my first cat (a 2-year old male) 2 days ago but i have some worries.
i expected that he would take longer to warm up, but he’s purring and grooming himself and he even slept next to me. what’s worrying me is that he keeps asking for pets until he gets overstimulated and bites. even at night he will wake up every 2 hours to request pets. even after he bites my hand he will purr and rub against me.
i’ve tried to play with him with all the toys i bought (a cat tree with dangling pom-poms, catnip kicker toys, teaser toys, multiple scratchers), but no luck.
i’ve also tried engaging him in hunting-type play by chasing him or quickly moving a teaser toy around, but he has no response and just keeps asking for pets.
another thing scaring me is that despite warming up to me so easily, he isn’t eating much. he’s had maybe 2 nibbles of wet food and half a plate of kibble since i got him. i know cats’ eating habits can change in a new place but he seems to be so friendly already.
am i overreacting? should i purchase more toys or food or wait it out? is there anything else i can do to help his boredom?
submitted by broccolikiwi to CATHELP [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 14:24 FiveFrights CPG × FF × 3D FredWare Studios × ??? - FNaB 5

This collaboration project between CommonPresent Games, Five Frights, 3D FredWare Studios, and an anonymous music producer have all collaborated to make the ultimate conclusion to the Five Nights at Bingo's games.
Explore the abandoned Bar & Grill that was said to be nothing but an urban legend... 55 years after it's closing.
Your name is Cory. You go to explore the ruins, inviting your friends Clyde and Jack to come along with you.
A large sinkhole has formed underneath the building in the show stage, leaving the place in ruins and mostly caving in, especially in the middle of it.
INTRODUCTION CINEMATIC
You arrive there at 11:30 PM, and you text Clyde and Jack to come. They say that they will be there by 12:00 AM. You then walk in, and you explore the place, and then you enter the security office at 11:59 AM. You then get a text from Clyde saying that he is almost there, and that he gave Jack a ride, as well.
NIGHT 1 - It is now officially 12:00 AM. The building has entered it's lockdown state, not letting anyone or anything get in.. or out. You run to look at your phone, and then you very quickly connect it to the barely functioning security cameras in the building, and once you go onto the Show Stage camera, you will see Moltenstein emerge from the old sinkhole, who is a melted together fusion of the extremely rotted Bingo and Blossom animatronics.
DIALOGUE: What even was that thing?! I have to get out of here! This bulletin board right here says that lockdowns can take 14-21 days to end?! 14-21 DAYS?! It's okay.. I can do this. I brought my portable wireless charger for my phone. I just need to get that.. thing... away from me.
Moltenstein will sometimes appear at one of your doorways. You have a left doorway, a right doorway, and an opened ceiling vent. Turn off your phone's flashlight if you see it, in order to get it not to kill you, and activate a nearby camera's flashlight in order to attract it towards that camera's location.
There are only 6 functioning cameras. They are all the Show Stage, New Lobby, Left Hall Entrance, Right Hall Corner, and the Dining Area.
The Show Stage is where Moltenstein will emerge from. It will then make it's way towards the New Lobby, Left Hall Entrance, or the Dining Area.
The Dining Area's camera is broken, forcing it to face the right side hallway, where there is a vent entrance nearby.
All of the cameras have an internal flashlight that was applied during the investigation of the premises right before it's closing. These internal flashlights all work surprisingly well on the still functional cameras, and they are good for attracting light sensitive animatronics nearby. Moltenstein is very, very sensitive to bright lights.
Your phone's flashlight will always be on by default. Hold down CTRL in order to shut off your phone's flashlight, making it incredibly hard to see, but stopling Moltenstein from killing you, and sometimes even making it leave.
Your phone will lose 1% battery power every 2 seconds (you instead will lose 1% of your phone's battery power every 5 seconds whenever your flashlight is turned off..). Using a camera's internal flashlight will make it lose an extra 3% of it's battery power.. immediately. You can recharge it to get an extra 35% but this takes roughly 5 seconds to do......
NIGHT 2 - Ugh.. I need to get out of here! I am starting to see things. I can't do this anymore, come on!! Why me??? It's whatever.. Clyde and Jack called me this morning, and they said that they were worried. I told them about my situation, and they said that they have notified the authorities, but they didn't believe them. Those people really think that this place is fake. How funny of them...
Memory Citrus and Memory Lizzy can now be seen. These are just hallucinations, however. If you ever see the original Citrus flying through the Dining Area, put down your phone quickly, or Memory Citrus will jumpscare you, causing for you to throw your phone onto the ground in panic, attracting Moltenstein towards the light, giving him a 20% chance to kill you after somewhere in betweenn 7.26310-8.54790 secondssss.
If you ever see the original Lizzy standing in the middle of the lobby, put your phone down quickly, otherwise Memory Lizzy will appear floating in front of both of your doorways, and all of your cameras, making you unable to see them, all while you lose 1% of your power every 0.552 seconds. This effects lasts.. just about..... 10 seconds. And yes, this does cause your phone's flashlight to glitch out as well, luring Moltenstein to your location.
NIGHT 3 - This has to be the last night.. Surely the police have realized that I have very suddenly gone missing... Right? Please, just let this end. No more!
Memory Buttercup can now sometimes appear in one of your doorways. Shine your phone's flashlight at her in order to make her go away, or else, she will jumpscare you very suddenly, causing for you to have a heart attack.. and... well, die.
Memory Caesar and Memory Chuck seek to both be always found together now, and they can now sometimes appear in one of your doorways. Pull out your phone and look at it in order to deter them away from the security office that you are hiding inside of.
NIGHT 4 - Hey, hey! It's me, Jack! I just wanted to tell you that Clyde called the police... yet again.. and now they are starting to take us WAY more seriously! They said that they are attempting to locate your phone.. But it needs to stay charged up to at least 50% from now (12 AM) up until 6 AM, or we will not able to locate you, AND YOU WILL DIE. You gave us the wrong directions for what reason, anyway, you idiot?!
If your phone's battery drops down below 50%, you will be immediately just.. killed by Moltenstein.
NIGHT 5 - Hey, hey! It's me, Jack! We got your location! The police are headed there, now... Let's go, man! You're gonna make it home, by tonight!!! But.. You need to stop yourself from using the camera's built-in internal flashlights. Apparently, the cameras share a union power generator system, hence why they still work, and they only have about.. 8 charges left. It is pretty crazy, actually, right??? So just.. be careful, dude. Bye, now!!!,,,
If you use the camera flashlights 8 times, they will be disabled, and Moltenstein will be immediately teleported to your door, and he will kill you after approximately 2.5-3.5 seconds.
NIGHT 6 - Listen, man. I'm sorry, okay? But you entering that establishment has awakened and set free the mess in there, and I cannot afford to be chased down by that thing... You see, my grandpa was at that place for a re-evaluation of it's safety.. for... an incident. And that was not even his first time there! I'm sorry.. But you will not be making it out of there alive. I have released an overwhelming amount of a special secret gas recipe into the building, causing your hallucations to feel the most real possible, meaning that they have a 50-50 chance of giving you a heart attack and.. well, kill you. I also adjusted the union power usage to only allow for 6 camera flashes, and.. now, you must also always keep your phone charged. You can NOT recharge it. Have fun, Cory.
(This night ends at 4 AM, as the police and Clyde will break into the building and save you at that time.. exactly.)
ALL ENDINGS
Good Ending - During Nights 1-5, keep your phone's battery above 30%, and do not ever use any more then 6 camera flashes in each night. This will give you access to the Old Lobby, where you will find Buttercup, Citrus, Lizzy, Caesar, Chuck, and an unused Endoskeleton during the Night 6 Escape Scene. You will then get the option to scrap or take with you each and every single one of them as you walk up to them, letting them rest now as nothing but legends if you scrap them all. You will then see a scene of Jack getting trapped inside of the building, right as you guys escape...
Bad Ending - Follow Jack's instructions, and leave with Clyde and the police on Night 6 without making any discoveries. You will then see a scene of Jack escaping the building, right as you guys escape...
Happy Ending (Canon) - During Nights 1-5, keep your phone's battery above 30%, and do not ever use any more then 6 camera flashes in each night. This will give you access to the Old Lobby, where you will find Buttercup, Citrus, Lizzy, Caesar, Chuck, and an unused Endoskeleton during the Night 6 Escape Scene. You will then get the option to scrap or take with you each and every single one of them as you walk up to them, but if you take them all with you, you will then see the location rebuilt with the recovered and repaired Bingo, Blossom, Citrus, Buttercup, Lizzy, Caesar, Chuck, and the brand new Tropico The Toucan animatronics. Tropico The Toucan is an amazing newly built counterpart friend for the now happy Citrus The Toucan animatronic character.
We will be collaborating on FNaB 6, just as we did with this game, to introduce the continuation to the game series, and it's amazing and wonderfully unique storyline. We have amazing plans for this next entry of the series, and they will all be shared on here.. very, very soon.
submitted by FiveFrights to u/FiveFrights [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 14:23 Automatic_Science_68 Is my relationship over?

I have been trying to be supportive and patient but i don’t know how much longer i can do it.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for not too long now. And from the start we just clicked. We have friends that said it was like we’d known each other for our whole lives when we’d only known each other for a very short amount of time before we started dating. Everything was going great up until this last week.
Backstory: My bf joined the marines after his dad died last year. He’s from oregon but was stationed out in my state. Recently some news has come up regarding his father’s autopsy report in the last week and my bf has been a silent warrior since.
I have barely spoken to him in the last week with the last 4 days being the hardest. He’s been busy with work but only works 7am-4:30/5pm. He hasn’t been texting or calling like he used to everyday. Thursday morning he sent me a text after not talking to me for almost 24 hours saying he wanted to break up. I decided that if he was going to do that then I needed to give him his things back so I went to see him that night. That night he told me after trying to speak to him about what’s been going on he said he still wanted to be with me. and was saying things like “i’m scared i’m going to fk up” and “i just don’t want to end up like my dad” as well as giving me news he was being shipped off to california (we’re in NC currently) possibly at the end of next week (aka this week we just entered). so it was my understanding that we were still together but i was going to give him a little more space. It is now sunday morning and i have only spoken to him during a 5 min phone call yesterday around 4:30pm. He hasn’t read a single message I’ve sent him since thursday night.
Is my relationship over?
submitted by Automatic_Science_68 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 14:22 Sharkyyy12 AOC27G2 Monitor dying?

AOC27G2 Monitor dying?
I apologise if this the wrong subreddit, unfortunately, my post over at techsupport didn't gather any traction.
Lately, my AOC27G2 monitor has taken to glitching out of nowhere whenever I power it on, resulting in unsettling flickering lines along the bottom.
https://preview.redd.it/r3q4fug5ld1d1.jpg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0fe19f8f28cbc69f60716c5d5915b830419e9e31
I haven't done anything to my PC other than play games recently, as my friends have asked if I tried overclocking or anything. As seen in the video below moving my cursor over it causes lag to occur, as the cursor becomes very slow to update. The lag sometimes causes the bottom of my screen to remain frozen on the desktop when I open applications like Chrome. Despite my efforts, including installing the new and old drivers and executing a driver reset with "win + ctrl + shift + b," the issue persists.
After conducting some testing, I discovered that this flickering is exclusive to this particular monitor; as when I switch my display to use only my alternate monitor, it functions flawlessly. I've bought a new Displayport cable and switched both the cable, and the port which hasn't yielded any positive results. However, what perplexes me is that when I connected my laptop via HDMI, the monitor functioned perfectly, yet upon returning to my PC's port, the flickering resumed. This has led me to believe it's a PC issue rather than a monitor issue, but I can't pinpoint what.
It's worth mentioning that the problem has continuously worsened each day, from being a temporary occurrence upon bootup to becoming a permanent issue with the monitor.
I'd be happy to provide any additional info or video proof if needed! Any help would be greatly appreciated! Thanks :)
PC Parts list
CPU AMD Ryzen 5 5600X (Base: 3.70GHz, Boost: 4.60GHz / 35MB Cache / AM4 / 6 Core / 65 Watt / Wraith Stealth Cooler / Vermeer)
PSU Corsair RM750 750W Power Supply, 80 PLUS Gold, Fully Modular
RAM G.Skill Ripjaws V 16GB (2x8GB) PC4-28800 (3600MHz) DDR4, 16-19-19-39, 1.35V, Intel XMP 2.0, Dual Channel Kit
GPU MSI GeForce RTX 3060 Ti VENTUS 2X 8G OCV1 LHR (Boost: 1695MHz), 8GB GDDR6 (14000MHz), PCI-E 4.0, 3x DisplayPort 1.4a, 1x HDMI 2.1, Backplate, TORX Fan 3.0, Lite Hash Rate
submitted by Sharkyyy12 to pcmasterrace [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 14:22 Reasonable-Figure300 My past situationship roped me into helping her cheat, but that’s not what I’m really annoyed about

I (21M) have recently got back in contact with a girl (20F) I was really close with at one point in my life. It ended pretty badly, about 2.5 years ago, after 3 years of on and off type stuff, but about a week ago her name popped up and I figured it had been long enough that we could catch up and it not be weird or there be any emotional stuff.
We got to talking and after a few days, it got a bit flirty. Nothing crazy, but it was comfortable so, you know, why not? She was giving me the same energy back. I don’t really trust this girl after the way she hurt me in the past so I made it VERY clear early on that it was just flirty chatting, nothing more, and she was fine with that.
Aside from the flirting we spoke about a lot of things…her ex, my ex, our relationships that hadn’t worked out, why she was still working the same dead end job she had been since 16 even though she had qualifications in engineering, lots of things about her life both past and most definitely currently.
Fast forward to last night and we’re talking some more and I realised she kept disappearing. When I’d ask ‘what’ve you done today?’ she’d say ‘I’ve been out’, which is kind of out of character for her. Like I said we were super close to the point where I can read her like a book, and every time we’ve spoke since getting back into contact there’s been no evasiveness until I’d ask about her day.
I’m no idiot, and I know her well enough to know she was hiding something from me so I asked her straight up ‘what aren’t you telling me’ and she told me that she’s seeing someone. I asked ‘is he your boyfriend?’ She replied ‘kind of’.
I was more concerned with getting a straight yes or no, because if this guy is her boyfriend and not a situationship or something I’ve been unintentionally homewrecking for the past 3 weeks. She told me they broke up but she’s been seeing him again a lot recently but doesn’t know how she feels about it because me and her started talking again.
She told me he’s really controlling and it was nice for her to feel free again for a bit. I used to be a support worker for victims of abuse so I understand why people go back, but that’s even if it’s true and she’s not exaggerating as a form of damage control, I really don’t know.
I’ve tried to advise her and help her, in amongst the flirting we’ve had some really serious conversations about her life stagnating. She’s never looked for another job even though she’s hated hers for years (since 16), refuses to go to the gym because she’s scared of people, won’t eat more than 1 meal a day even though she knows she’s getting to a dangerous level and keeps going back to this abusive guy cos she’s scared of being alone, and the only thing that might change one of those things is her latching on to me rather than Mr control freak, which she admitted herself.
I feel slightly guilty for getting annoyed about it but it’s so frustrating trying day-in day-out to help someone who says they want your help but refuse to take even the smallest step. I feel a bit hopeless, and I don’t want to cut her off again but if it keeps draining me like this I don’t want to sacrifice my own happiness to help someone unwilling to accept the help she’s asking for.
She’s got no healthy coping mechanisms at all and every day I’m trying to at least start getting used to the idea, asking if she’s eaten or just chip away at that social anxiety so she starts working out and meeting new people, but I also don’t want her to attach herself to me because I don’t feel that way about her at all, emotionally anyway, something I’ve communicated to her multiple times in the past few weeks, and knowing I’ve technically helped her cheat even though the guys an asshole doesn’t make me feel good at all.
I care about her a lot, and I just see the potential she has, I know healing is a process, but it seems like the only time she’s willing to do anything is if I tell her to do it, all she says when I ask her what she’s been doing for 3 years I’ve not been around is ‘just nothing haha’ or ‘I don’t know’.
She won’t talk to her friends cos she’s the ‘happy friend’…but she’s never even tried talking to them, she’s just bottled it all up and then as soon as I’ve appeared again she’s dumped everything on me and it’s a little bit draining, on top of the dragging me into her messy relationship by not telling me about the other guy straight away.
Yeah, pretty crazy, and idk if that all even makes sense I’m sure you can grasp how messy it is from how all over the place that story is. There’s so much more to it but yeah, just needed to get it off my chest.
submitted by Reasonable-Figure300 to offmychest [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 14:21 Electronic_Lake_4618 Thoughts on relationships dynamic

Hello, guy here, discovered this subreddit yesterday and I’ve read tons of posts here. Long post coming:
Reading posts in this subreddit I’ve noticed a pattern: one party of the relationship overinvesting, trying everything in order to change the other party, only to be left so heartbroken, so confused, or in a state of shock sometimes, missing the other party obsessively . After all, it makes no sense, I’ve shown all this good intention and willingness to sacrifice for the relationship, only to be ghosted or cut out by the other party like all our previous interactions and memories never existed. Why??? This why question is what creates the obsession, you feel empty and you feel exploited. You want them to explain to you why they gave you coldness when you gave them only love and support, this confusion kills you.
Being at some point a victim of this pattern, I’ve thought about this dynamic/topic a lot and I will share my perspective on it since it saved me from a lot of emotional suffering. My perspective is of course an oversimplification of an infinitely complex topic, lots of factors being dismissed, ofc it can be just completely wrong, but I think it’s still a perspective worth keeping in the back of your mind all the time. It only addresses the people who make sacrifices for their partner over and over and over thinking they reciprocate only to be heartbroken and getting murdered emotionally.
If you think about it, a relationship means 2 people coming together and exchanging attention and love. Because we are all different, our attention and love is different and unique in some ways, that’s why we connect with some and we dont connect with others. Both parties like what kind of unique attention/love/personality the other offers, this exchange is fundamental to what a relationship is.
Now, if 2 people really want to establish a long term relationship (stability, either because they want to have kids or just to have a life partner), both of them essentially have a single mission: they need to make sure that the exchange of attention/love is a fair one, and kept that way, all the time. If this exchange is not kept fair and starts to slide in one direction, with enough time and no correction applied , it will end in exploitation, and the overcommited party will suffer for all the unreciprocated commitment when the breakup happens. If one party puts in a love/attention level that is not reciprocated, and makes no attempt to correct the other party, the relationship is over from that point. Most of the time it will only get worse, because most of us, when we don’t get the love/attention we put in, we give even more thinking this will correct the imbalance.
If you are in a relationship and you feel the partner reducing their attention and love for you, the only way to adjust the imbalance is to reduce yours too. If your partner doesnt care or doesnt make and effort to correct the imbalance …. Well …. I think you can conclude they are not very serious. You never had a serious relationship to begin with. LOVE YOURSELF ENOUGH SO YOU ACCEPT THIS BRUTAL REALITY, AND SAVE YOURSELF A LOT OF EMOTIONAL SUFFERING. YOU WILL MOST LIKELY BE SUFFERING MORE LATER IF YOU DONT RESPECT YOURSELF AND ASK TO GET WHAT YOU GIVE.
In my personal experience i see women doing this very often(men do it too, but i find women to be way more attention oriented and capable to adjust their attention/love based on their partner preferences), boyfriends start to disrespect or ignore, or in general reduce attention/love saying a bullshit excuse like i need space i am not ok, bla bla, and the women give more attention and love in spite of disrespect thinking that their partner is going through a tough time and they try to be supportive only to be met with more coldness.
Each party, when they notice they put in more than they receive, should ruthlessly reduce their input until the other party adjusts. It’s not a selfish act, you holding your ground and fighting for this balance is what allows the relationship to function long term and become stronger, no matter how emotionally hard it might be, if you dont keep your ground over time the imbalance will grow and the relationship is over. If you dont correct it or act as if nothing is happening, you will become frustrated and start to slowly degrade your self-esteem. The sooner you address it the better.
If the partner is not willing to understand the issue , or address it, or is giving bullshit excuses, the relationship is over , its just a matter of time. If you keep going with this imbalance, or you make it worse by raising your love/attention thinking they will raise theirs, at breakup time you will cash out in suffering currency all that difference in commitment.
Conversely, if you see your partner overcommiting, you need to find a way to balance it out. This is more tricky, you need to approach it based on your partner, if you pull away thinking they will pull away only to actually invest more, you made the problem worse. Here is where you need to communicate it, a hard thing to do and unique to everyone.
Watch this exchange of attention of love/attention at all times. The health and lifespan of the relationship depends on it. Do yourself a favour and leave if the other party is not willing to understand and try to balance it out. Dont fall for any bullshit excuse, if they truly care they would adjust immediately for you. If they dont adjust ,you leave them and leave them for good. Dont ever think they mean it when they say they want to adjust after you broke up with them. If you go back, what you are doing is accepting the unbalanced exchange, nothing happened really, they won and they are exploiting you.
Also, learn to adjust the balance when your partner overcommits. Don’t exploit that overcommitment. It’s only downhill from there, you might feel more powerful/important to just accept it and take it for granted, but you will create tons of suffering for your partner later, if you care about the relationship, try to make your partner lower their attention/love or be more laid back. Fair exchange being kept or the relationship is over. What causes in my opinion a good chunk of suffering is some people receiving an overcommitment in love and attention from their partner, and instead of making it fair trying to keep the relationship healthy, they get used to it or even try to exploit them more, in an egotistical short sighted way. They are using them, there is no genuine human love there. The balance must be kept at all costs. When you look for a partner, think if they would try to keep the balance, anything else like money, status, beauty, charisma is a facade, ultimately meaningless for the relationship health.
I might be wrong, or I just came across bad people in my life, (i hope i am wrong actually)but I came to realize that most people dont care about that balance. In their ‘relationship’, they completely dissmiss their partners and this whole dynamic, and they exploit them emotionally for validation, instead of trying to validate their skills by challenging themselves trying to become better. Their partners are just there to keep their ego inflated and feel some sort of ‘power’ or ‘dominance’. Very pathetic if you ask me. And their exploited partners dont respect themselves, for many potential reasons.
Maybe in some of the cases, we obsess with an ex, thinking about them like mad, maybe what we are actually doing is we expect them to give us all the unreciprocated attention/love back, we feel robbed, despite loving them a lot, they robbed us.Or at least in some cases we want them admit they didnt treat us fairly and we expect an apology so we can move on, we knew subconsciously the interaction was imbalanced.
Long post already, I am really curious what you think.
submitted by Electronic_Lake_4618 to BreakUps [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 14:21 58246286426 I am embarrassed to invite people to my house.

This is probably a Queen of Tears moment for me. I am not rich and my parents are not rich, but we are all comfortable, as in we don't really have any problems with the bills. However, my parents never really moved out of our shabby apartment even if they have the means to buy even two houses somewhere far north or far south.
You know old apartments where the unit is poorly maintained and things have obviously accumulated over the decades? It's like that.
I'm not ungrateful because deep inside I know we're more financially stable than most people with their own new houses. It's just that I can't help but feel embarrassed inviting women to my house to meet my family, especially when they come from well-to-do families.
I know for a fact that some part of them thinks that my retired parents haven't achieved anything in their lives. It's customary for adults to buy a house for their families once they have the money for it. Dating as adults, I know for a fact that people take everything into considering, including your future partner's family. You'd be ignorant to deny this fact. That's why I'm envious when I see others inviting their girlfriend to their houses and having dinner with their families. We don't even have a decent dining table.
I have already brought up getting a house to my parents even if I pay half. They don't want to because they say they're already comfortable here. It's also senseless for me to move out and get my own condo just for the sake of appearance.
This post can come off as something petty. It is. But don't we all desire to live with some dignity commensurate to our hard work? I feel like I am stuck between two stones.
submitted by 58246286426 to OffMyChestPH [link] [comments]

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