Free caregiver training in phx az

me (31f) and my husband (32m) have been together for around ten years. we met in college at 20 and 21 and have been inseparable since then. we have almost all the same interests and lead a very active lifestyle. we have both been very adamant about staying child free since we met. and that isn’t something i pushed him into he actually brought it up first when we got together. he’s pretty neutral to kids but i hate them and we both agreed that a child would ruin our lives.
a year before we met my husband did a study abroad in europe and met Sarah. they had a fling but he lives in the east coast and she lived in california so they agreed to break it off after the semester ended and they didn’t keep in touch after. i’ve known about this since we got together but i didn’t care because it was before we met.
sarah found my husband on facebook and reached out to him 4 months ago. she is sick with an aggressive form of cancer and probably has less than six months. she also has an 11 year old little girl named emily that is my husbands child. we’ve since got a paternity test but as soon as i saw the pictures i knew she was his.
we have been to california to meet with sarah and see how we’ll proceed. right now sarah’s mom has moved in with them as a caregiver but she is very elderly and not a long term solution and there’s no other family. sarah is adamant that we take emily in and raise her like a normal family. it is truly heartbreaking to see them but as far as i’m concerned they are complete strangers to us.
my husband is very conflicted about all of this and its even worse now that sarah has been reaching out to his family about it. his mom reluctantly excepted that we wouldn’t have kids but now she is ecstatic and hounding us about taking emily in.
i can’t be a mother. it will ruin our lives and i will always resent emily and could never love her. she’s a sweet kid but i did not sign up for this and have always known i couldn’t be a mother. we’ve talked about this a lot and he’s not even sure he could be a good dad but he feels very obligated and pressured to take her in which i understand.
we’ve talked about a lot of options but i gave him an ultimatum last week that i wouldn’t allow emily into our home and he would have to figure out an alternative solution. this has already turned our lives upside and i don’t think i can take it anymore. i’ve been called heartless by almost everyone we know but i feel like it would be worse for emily to have a “mom” that feels this way. i feel awful and i love this man so much.
i’ve had to leave out a lot and some details might not be very clear so i’ll try and address things in the comments.

A wurm is an earth dragon. She can't fly, and she's a little ditzy, but she's plenty lovable.
Guide to the script:
(words in italics): Suggested sound effects
(words not in italics): Voice cues and narration
Uaagh: Sleepy wurm
Eeeek: Happy wurm
It's okay to monetize this script, make minor edits to it and genderflip it. Please note that the sound effects are optional.
Script length: About 1.5K words
It's strange. I used to read a lot of monster girl stories before I got into ASMR. I don't do that anymore, but on some days, I'll remember a scene or a sentence from one of those stories. And then I'll want to write.
For the listener:
You return home from work to see your wurm girlfriend coiled up by herself in her ‘pillow fort’. A cold, fierce storm is raging outside and you know how much the thunder scares her. So the two of you snuggle up together and gossip, just the way things should be.
...
SCRIPT:

(Thunderstorm ambience. Rain and low rumbling of thunder are heard.)
Uaagh. Where were you?
I was worried you were stuck somewhere. I was about to go look for you, but you told me not to go outside on my own.
I know. People are afraid of me. Because I can smash through buildings. But I was worried. What took you so long?
Oh. The trains got delayed because of the thunderstorm?
Are you alright at least? (Sniffing) I do not smell any injury on you.
Good. Will you help me sleep? I couldn’t sleep because of the thunder. And I wanted snuggles. I missed you.
I get stressed when I can’t coil around you. And when I get stressed, I get hungry. So I ate all the chicken we had. But I still can’t sleep.
(Ruffling of sheets and pillows)
Yay! Let me coil around you. I can already feel your warmth.
(Coiling sounds)
Mmnnh. You’re so warm. How do you do it? How are you so warm?
Oh. Because humans are warm blooded. Yes, you told me earlier. But I forgot. Sorry.
Yes. You also told me not to apologise. Sorry.
Hmm? Why are you shaking your head? Is there an enemy present in this room?
That’s it, isn’t it? Where are they? I cannot see them. Are they hiding in the wall? Should I tear it down?
Oh. I did tear it down last week. But that’s because I thought you were trapped inside! I heard you calling from the other room but your voice was so faint and you were taking so long. I thought you needed help!
Are you mad at me?
(Sighing) You always say that. That you can never be mad at me. But I am not sure. You never take me outside with you. This morning, I saw some pigeons on the lawn and I went to say hi to them. I even used the doorknob this time instead of smashing through the door. I was really gentle. But the pigeons all flew away when they saw me coming.
It’s not just the birds. I wanted to know why the pigeons were scared of me, and so I asked a human who was walking outside. I only asked him why the birds flew away. But he ran away from me too. I just scare everyone away.
I don’t scare you?
Yeah*. (Coiling tighter)* You’re the only one who doesn’t run away from me. Even though I’m a monster.
No. I am a monster. I attacked you when we first met. I shouldn’t have done that. Friendly wurms don’t attack people.
I know. It was....instinct. That’s the word you used. When I saw you outside my cave, I-I wanted you. I’d never seen anything like you before. And so I just took you. I wouldn’t let you out of my coils! I know it was scary for you. I am sorry.
Yeah. I did agree to move into your house after that. Because I didn’t care as long as I had you. And because you said there’d be chicken. I like chicken.
Eeeek! I like it when you stroke my hair. It’s so soothing. It makes me want to snuggle up closer to you.
(Coiling sounds)
Thank you. For holding me. I don’t like thunder. The sound scares me. I can’t go to sleep when there’s a storm outside. Unless you’re with me.
Yeah. The thunder can’t hurt me. Because it’s far away. And because I’m a wurm. Wurms are strong! I think I’d be okay, if I was in my ancient form. Then I’d be an earth dragon as big as this house! But the thunder still scares me.
Human?
What causes thunder?
Lightning? You mean those bright flashes in the sky before that horrible noise?
Oh. I didn’t know they were called lightning. What is lightning made of?
Plaaz-ma. Ion….Ionized air. I don’t know what they are.
I saw those flashes of light before I met you, of course. I thought it was another dragon challenging me to a fight. And I was terrified of its roar. But I still tried looking for that dragon every time there was a thunderstorm.
Yeah. Because I thought that dragon could be my mother. Maybe she could fly and she was calling me to join her in the sky. But I don’t have wings.
Wurms can’t fly. But I didn’t know anything about mother. When I hatched, I was alone in the wild. There was nothing that looked like me. And there were no humans. No one to teach me how to fend for myself. I went hungry for the first few days and it was cold. It would rain often. I’d hide under a bush but my tail would still get wet. But the thunder was the scariest thing of all. I’d cover my ears with my claws but I’d still hear it. I didn’t know what to do.
Human, why do you look sad? That expression means you’re sad, right? You taught me that. Did I get it right this time?
You’re sad for what I had to go through? But it’s okay. It made me a strong wurm! I learnt how to catch prey, and how to protect myself from the weather by curling up in a cave. And if there was a spring deep inside the cave, then I could also stay warm!
Eeeek! You’re brushing my hair again. That feels nice. I’m so glad I met you in the forest. You’re the first human I ever saw. You’re special. You taught me how to use cutlery, and that I shouldn’t eat the plate along with the chicken. I’m sorry it took me a while to get that one right.
I forgot. You told me not to apologise. I’m sorry.
You’re sighing again. That means I messed up somehow, didn’t I? But I did as you asked! I didn’t leave the house today. I didn’t go outside because I didn’t want to scare any more humans after the first one ran away. I know I can be a burden. I’ve seen how people look at you when you try to defend me. It’s not much different from how they look at me when they think I’ve eaten their chicken or silverware. But I don’t do that. Not after you taught me it was wrong.
I wish I could go outside with you. I wish I wasn’t such a burden.
(Sighing) I know. You always say I’m not a burden. And you get really sad when I keep insisting. I don’t like seeing you sad.
It is true though that I don’t think like a human. I’m not as smart as most humans. But I....I’m not dumb. You always tell me I’m not dumb. And maybe you’re right.
I know if you have money, then you won’t be hungry. I know if you help strangers for free, then you’re kind. And kind people make for good friends. I know a good friend doesn’t leave you alone when it rains and thunders. I know the property of rain is to wet my scales, and of the sun to dry them. I know it gets dark at night because there is no sun, and pigeons can fly because they have wings. And I know something inside me hurts when you leave the house, but the hurt goes away when you come back to me.
I have to hide during the day because I’m not human. People are scared of me. But at night, when no one is looking, I can go outside with you. Slither beside you. Really quietly. And we can count how many streetlamps there are.
I do not know what face you’re making, human. I didn’t make you sad again, did I?
Eeeek! That must mean no. Are you happy with me? Do I make you happy?
Eeeeeek! You make me happy too. I want to try brushing your hair like you brush mine. One of these days....
No, I’m not cold anymore. You always keep me warm. And in the morning, all the pillows smell like you (giggling). Thank you for teaching me how to build a giant pillow fort! It’s just like my cave, but even comfier.
(Yawning) Uaagh. I think I can go to sleep now. The thunder can’t hurt me. (very softly) The thunder can’t hurt me. I have you with me.
Human?
You won’t run away from me, right?
(A brief kiss, as the listener reassures her)
I like it when you kiss me. Eeeek! You make me the happiest wurm in the world! I’ll...I’ll always protect you, okay? I won’t let anyone invade our pillow fort.
Good night. Can we get more chicken tomorrow? I want to eat chicken tomorrow.
Yay! I’ll go with you to the market. The shopkeeper gave us extra last time when he saw me. I don’t know why. I was hungry but I wasn’t going to eat him.
Yeah. I really do feel sleepy now. Good night, human.
Dar....Darling. Sweet dreams.
I love you too. Eeeek.

This might be a slightly philosophical post. But the aim is to get to the bottom of what you should be truly doing. To truly get the most results.
There seems to be a MASSIVE amount of conflicting information online about how to do this.
“Do stuff that moves the needle forward”
“Do stuff that brings in revenue”
What does this truly mean though. And is it even the right thing. That’s the purpose of this post, to uncover.
When I’ve spent my time on actual needle-moving forward things, like taking business from 0 to revenue, doing all offer development, operations, sales process, marketing myself, it generally has taken me about 6 months to fully ‘try out’ a business idea I’ve had.
Most times it hasn’t worked.
Either it wasn’t profitable. Or there was a big problem somewhere.
I believe fundamentally it’s because I’m moving too slow.
Because it usually takes me around 6 months to ‘validate’ whether a business has good potential.
When you haven’t sold it or developed expertise in it yourself yet.
And I would say about 5% of the time it does work.
So if it takes 6 months and only 5% of the time it works (where you bring in revenue, no major issues), and each time it doesn’t work you try a new variation of it or something new based on what you learned, then it might take 10 years of trying different things to get the business to work.
Which sounds like it takes way too long.
So I thought about how the top companies move much quicker.
What separates them and my strategy.
And realized they simply had much more people on their team.
If you think about any successful organization who has achieved great things, and is world-leading, usually there is not 1 person on the team.
There seems to be a correlation between number of people on the team and speed of progress they can make in business.
Which goes against what most conventional startup wisdom tells you, most small business content creators etc all tell you to do it all yourself.
Which I’ve done for quite a few years and it’s gone so slowly in terms of overall progress.
If you should ‘do everything yourself’ then most Fortune 500 companies would’ve had single founders, and 1 person on their team. But the vast majority of successful Fortune 500 companies had co-founders.
And most successful businesses I know of, had co-founders.
And as they succeeded, they got more people on the team, and these people helped bring more success, then they brought more people.
Obviously there can be bad staff and not everyone contributes to the success of the company.
But I do believe, based on this, and observing top companies, that generally the more successful they are, the more people were involved with bringing about the success.
Which completely contradicts most information given to startups about ‘lone wolf’, ‘go it alone’. If that were true, Google would have 1 employee. Apple would have 1 employee.
And they would have never gotten off the ground.
Anyway, I may not have explained this perfectly but I do strongly believe the more & higher quality people are working together on something, the stats show these companies tend to do better, and successful companies you see often have more people than less working on them.
From the very beginning and now.
Regardless of the stage they were at.
So going based off this information, that the more people, the better, I have hired 30+ different people for different roles. Over the past few years. Across different businesses. To help speed up the progress in different areas.
From marketing roles, sales process roles, web development, app development, customer service, delivery of services.
And I would say there have been maybe 1 or 2 of them where I was actually happy with the result.
Most times, I would hire someone to do a job, and they didn’t do the job well, despite saying they were experienced.
And showing past examples of their work. And telling me everything I wanted to hear about how good they were.
It would often be that they would end up performing badly in the KPIs I set for them, giving many excuses, asking for help/questions/not solving anything on their own.
And just so many other problems. Like when there were multiple people at the same time on a team, working on the same project, they would blame each other and no one took responsibility despite clear responsibilities.
All telling me how other staff were bad and they were good, but getting conflicting info from all staff where they blame each other for everything so it’s difficult to know who to trust and who is being truthful.
Oftentimes not being reliable or doing what they were clearly asked to do.
Oftentimes trying to outsource the work I game them, to other people and not caring about the quality.
At my expense.
So I lost lots of clients, had low performing areas in the areas I hired for a lot of the time.
To be fair, things happened faster the more people there were.
But they often needed much more from me than they were contributing.
Like they always wanted to get paid more, for doing less work, weren’t reliable, did low quality work, didn’t hit KPIs, missed clear deadlines, always gave excuses, blamed others/external things, always asking how “I” wanted their job to be done, to the point where I was having to literally tell them every single thing to do and become an expert at their job myself, and show them how to do what they were put there to do, or do it myself, and still get a low quality result from them.
Anyway, the list goes on in all the problems I have experienced hiring people.
It really seems like a minefield.
But there were 1-2 people who did actually do well, who were responsive, who did what they committed to do, who hit deadlines, who did what they were asked, who didn’t give excuses. Who were actually honest hard workers who figured out how to solve problems and actually do the job that was asked from them.
Because of the amount of people I hired and the very low % of people who seemed to do their job well, it made me think that I am probably the problem here. If so many people are doing a bad job and not doing what they were actually hired to do. When most other companies seem to succeed at hiring people.
Then it must be a problem with myself and how I am hiring and managing them.
So it makes me think I need to level up in how I hire and manage people.
I’ve tried lots of different businesses and variations of them and some have done okay, some have not.
Mainly the most success I’ve had is in my own freelancing, where I don’t have other people on my team.
Because it’s kind of turned into a headache working with others. Who just seem to have mostly never been able to deliver what they promised without it becoming pointless to hire them in the first place with all the work I’m doing on their behalf and trying to pick up after all the problems and failures they’ve done.
So I’m not sure exactly what to spend my time and resources on.
I have money saved up from freelancing.
Where I can continue to hire people.
But I do feel I’ve had many many bad experiences.
And I believe it’s mostly my fault. Maybe my training, my hiring, my management, at places along the line I’ve not done it well enough.
I’ve tried to make improvements each time but it has kind of seemed like luck to get people who do actually do their job well.
I genuinely want to hire people and succeed in this.
Because if I can successfully work with people to achieve outcomes, rather than relying only on myself, I can build a real business and not just do freelancing.
In freelancing, I was able to make $3k-5k/month but it was very stressful and I hated speaking with clients, and was constantly stressed.
I generally really don’t like socialising with people. Including clients and staff.
And staff often try to get me to socialise unnecessarily so they can avoid doing their job, and pull me away from mine.
So trying to make it work.
I want to make it work with hiring people because if I can do this, I can make 10x-100x-1000x faster progress with other people on the same team.
But I do have a very bad track record so far. So it’s kind of painful returning to it and continuing to have bad experiences.
But at the same time I know it’s me who’s probably at fault because there can’t be this many bad people I’ve hired and it surely can’t be this bad for everyone.
I think the reason is that I’ve been better at managing myself and doing things successfully solo throughout my life.
Like I’ve achieved very good things in solo sports, in academia, and in many areas that don’t require a team, but often become frustrated working in a team.
But I don’t want my business success to be limited to 1 person.
So I truly want to make it work in improving my ability to manage (ideally a large amount of) people in a way where they can actually deliver and it work well.
Because I was capped in freelancing to making $3k-5k/month because I couldn’t take on more clients because I was undercharging and overdelivering and couldn’t handle more due to being massively stressed out and hating it. I was able to work with less clients at times and charge higher, but they never wanted me to ‘outsource’ my work to others or bring on a team, and I felt bad about it because had bad experiences where I had felt like I let clients down, and oftentimes they told me they had hired me because of me, and not wanted me to ‘outsource’ the work.
But I want to make it work.
Building a real business with a team. Not just doing freelancing and relying just on myself.
So I have time and money and resources to put into this.
I have 1 staff member currently who is unproductive. But we have an equity deal so it doesn’t cost me money for them to perform. But costs me lots of time and their performance is extremely weak. Don’t even want to go into detail, but it’s a nightmare. Their performance is about 1/10 but I believe I can raise their performance if I improve my ability to raise their performance.
Anyway. I want to build a team, but not sure exactly what activities are best ways to spend my time.
If I am physically making improvements, I feel I am slowing down the business progress.
Whereas I want to hire and manage people.
I’ve built training so that this co-founder is able to hire people. And these people can use the same training to hire people.
But I don’t currently have training to enable them to manage people.
My fear is that without training, people just ask unlimited questions on how to do something in their role and it becomes pointless to have hired them because I have to do everything they should have done to do it, so they basically just become a robot following very specific instructions. Rather than a human being who can achieve things independently.
So for example, if I made this training, it would take up all my time, whereas I have savings I’ve accumulated from freelancing which I can put into either having the co-founder manage staff, or have the co-founder make management training at the same time to enable more and more staff to hire and manage new staff. To achieve overall objectives and KPIs.
Or I could have the co-founder hire someone to make the training.
Then that frees up my time, my co-founders, time and only takes financial resources to accomplish.
What I want to achieve, is a scenario where I can give staff KPIs and objectives, and they are enabled to hire and manage people who can meet these objectives. Independently without my help required.
They give feedback, and I have a system for feedback to internal improvements can be made based on staff feedback.
Without it being unfiltered, it’s structured and organised so people can’t just get unlimited help/training/whatever from me.
Where they should be able to take actions, iterate, learn, improve, and act as independent thinking people who can achieve objectives themselves. Or within a system where it’s not all tied directly to me.
E.g. I have direct reports going to me.
But they have direct reports who go to them.
Previously I had a system where I did this, but then staff at the bottom of the hierarchy would ask their managers questions, and the managers wouldn’t know the answer so would then ask me the questions, and so jumping over the managers and making me deal with everything.
Whereas I want to build a system where people can make business progress in their specific area, independently without everything going to the CEO. Only important/urgent things are feedbacked to the CEO.
This way I believe much faster progress can happen.
Because I won’t be bogged down by exponentially growing problems.
Like with how it works in any successful organisation.
Tim Cook has only a handful of direct reports. Who each only have a handful of direct reports. And so on.
He’s making the most important decisions, dealing with what’s most important and strategic, with top authority, dealing with everything as a birds eye view, but not doing every employee’s job for them, teaching every employee how to do their job. Picking up the pieces after every employee misses their deadlines, doesn’t do their work, gives excuses, does poor work that doesn’t help the company.
Even in any successful organisation. Each unit/person is making their own decisions, taking their own action, learning from it, practicing themself at improving, gaining their own experience, not all relying on 1 person, every single person in the organisation, just for them to do their job.
In successful organisations, people at every level experience new problems all the time, and don’t need to contact the #1 person at the top just to deal with it.
They come up with a solution and go for it. And iterate. Learn, try to do something better next time. And there’s a constant learning/feedback process going on across the organisation which everyone takes part in, not just 1 person doing every part for everyone.
I believe this structure of modelling what actually successful organisations do is the correct way. Because they’re successful for a reason.
Not this ‘hustle grindset’ BS in the startup/business world where lots of information seems to be saying the wrong thing. It just makes no sense to make every single person 100% reliant on you for them to do their job.
Anyway so I’m thinking about what I should do with my time.
What I want to do, is tell my co-founder what to do, which involves hiring and managing people who do things that move the needle forward in the business, as defined by me, and some of those people also hire and manage people. To have an exponentially growing system of people growing the organisation. And a communication and feedback and learning system and autonomy within the system itself so it can take action, learn, grow, thrive. As a system within itself.
I believe if hypothetically, I did everything myself, then it takes about 6 months to ‘validate’ whether a business has good potential, and 5% of the time it does. So if I do everything myself, I believe it will take me 10 years to get a business off the ground.
But if I utilise my money and time more efficiently, I can have as many people working on each part involved in validating these businesses as possible.
I don’t know if that is lazy or smart.
I believe it’s both. But mostly smart. Because I believe I can convince, hire, organise, manage people to either work on equity deals or pay in a way where businesses can realistically bring in profit.
My co-founder does very little of what I ask him to do.
And he wants me to be doing individual things.
He objectively is financially and intelligently very poor and has very minimal skills or experience.
Not to be offensive. Just to paint a picture. So since there is conflicting information everywhere in the business world and you need to choose who to trust, I don’t trust what he believes.
Objectively I am much richer in all these areas than him.
So I used to operate on a democratic system with them. But it’s kind of like, in a vote for president, if you have 80% of the population being easily controlled by the media and being very dumb and easy to sway and manipulate into believing anything, and they vote for things which are objectively dumb and go against what the smartest and objectively most valuable people vote for, I don’t want to be held back by a dumb population having authority or being listened to, if they have a clear, long track record of making very bad decisions.
If you were to take business advice from a homeless person with no experience, money or intellect, or a Fortune 500 CEO, who let’s say objectively has massive experience, money, intellect and success. Then I would probably take what the CEO has to say.
If you had to listen to what a scientist vs 12 year old had to say about a scientific topic, you’d probably want to listen to the scientist who studied the topic and is well respected in their field.
So I believe it would be dumb for both of us, if he made decisions, objectively.
But at the same time it’s difficult to truly know what the truth is.
The Fortune 500 CEO could be telling you what you want to hear, and could have an incentive to lie to you to send you in the wrong direction with bad business advice so you don’t become competition to them, and the homeless person could be honest.
The scientist could be trying to gain fame and get attention to themself to build their career on a lie and fake experiments whereas the 12 year old could be a science savant.
So it’s difficult to truly know what the truth is.
If I should listen to him or myself.
Objectively.

1. I believe if I spend time building the business via this logic I’ve described above, it can grow much faster, with unlimited people working on it and performing well, if the necessary improvements are made.
   
2. And I believe if I were to do the individual things necessary to do it, it would take 6 months to ‘validate’ each’s potential. I.e. try everything in that timeframe to make it work, build a good service/product, build good sales process, build good marketing, deal with customers, etc, all on your own.
   

Whereas in the first option, other people could do all these things.
Human development over history has happened due to the input of millions, if not billions of people.
There wasn’t 1 person who did all the work to get Carnegie or Bill Gates or Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk or Mark Zuckerberg to gain the success they’ve achieved.
They all build an empire off the backs of others.
Did the slave owners do the slave work themselves when they brought slaves to America? No.
Does Elon do all the individual parts necessary to grow the company? No. He leads and controls the people in order to do that.
Does Mark Zuckerberg single handedly get Facebook off the ground? No. There were 10+ people involved. He stole code from others. Who sued him.
All of these people had exponentially growing staff as the company grew, as fuel to grow the company.
So if you have the money and strategy to lead them to success, I believe it surely is possible.
So long story short this is a long rambling piece of writing but I believe there’s very little impact 1 individual person has on the success of a company. Controlling and amassing an army of people who build the company up and contribute to the company sounds more true.
Does 1 person do everything involved in every sports team? No. Each player plays their respective part. Directed by the coach/manager.
Does 1 person do everything involved in musical orchestras? No each musician plays their part. Directed by the conductor.
And so on.
If you can build an exponentially growing team of staff who effectively work together, bring others on, take action to grow the business, learn from mistakes, make improvements, are highly motivated, are led successfully, it can achieve great things. I feel like it’s a delusion that individual people single-handedly grow companies without others.
So what should that person spend their time doing?
Doing all the millions of things necessary to grow the company? Or bring and manage others who some make progress themselves, some bring and manage others, to gain more and more resources to make progress at faster and faster rate.
Do successful people really have only 1 person responsible? No. They have teams of people behind them.
So trying to do the work of 1,000 people as 1 person sounds 1,000x as hard as getting 1,000 people to each do the work of 1 person.
So if you can finance the growth of the company via hiring others.
Let’s assume I can finance this exponential staff growth. Then surely I should do it right?
Like if I were to compete with 1 person trying to grow their business, and I had 1,000+ people, all doing their jobs effectively, being organised, working as a system not all relying on me, the competition where it’s 1 staff member on average would get beaten.
And surely any excuse you could give, I could just hire someone to solve that excuse.
Like “oh but what roles do you hire these people to do?” well I could hire someone whose role is to figure out what roles they should do. “But what if x?” well I could hire someone whose role is to solve that too. And so on. “Oh but do you have enough money to pay these staff?” Yes. And I can hire people whose job is to bring in money. Whether it’s fundraising, raising from
Did Hitler fight WW2 with 1 person? No. He fought it with millions, if not hundreds of millions of people.
Did Amazon/[insert any Fortune 500 company] get to their size today from having 1 staff member who did everything? No. They had thousands if not hundreds of thousands of staff.
Did any successful mom and pop shop/small business get to their size today from 1 staff member? No. They are one of the largest employers in the USA. Which means they hire a lot of people. Successful mom & pop shops generally have more staff the more successful they are.
Armies generally have more success the bigger and more effective they are.
Companies generally have more success the more staff and more effective the staff are.
So surely we shouldn’t hold ourselves back, to use the example of war, it’s like trying to go to war with others who have hundreds of thousands of people in their army, with just 1 person, yourself. Who is going to win? Them.
How are you going to compete with companies with way more staff, and way more effective staff than you? You would have to become exponentially more effective as 1 person which I just don’t know if it’s realistic.
I think it’s more delusional to believe that 1 person can do as well as 10 or 20 or 50 or 100 or more people who are each as effective as that 1 person.
So if you were to win, you would probably want to expand your army/staff and make them more effective, rather than try to make yourself somehow perform on the same level as armies/companies with thousands or hundreds of thousands of people. It’s just delusional to believe you can beat them in my opinion.
In business, you’d have to be extremely skilled at hundreds of different skills, spend 10+ hours on 100+ individual areas of the business each week to compete with 1,000+ staff who, if performing effectively, would crush you.
This is just my thoughts.
Am I being delusional? Come on…
I just feel like this is the way. Just look at the most successful organisations in history. Was it 1 person?
No, 1 person cannot realistically win a war against 100,000+ people. No matter how good they are. They would need to be top 0.00000000001% in skill in the world at what they’re beating the other side at.
Could 1 footballer beat a football team of 100 people of equal ability than them? No.
Could a company of 1 person outperform a company of 1,000 people? No.
So I believe if I can solve the ability to do this, I can grow a team of unlimited size to conquer and beat any problem thrown at us.
It’s just down to control of people.
Money doesn’t exist.
Even biggest most successful companies in the world mostly didn’t get there on their own.
I believe less than 1% of Fortune 500 Companies were bootstrapped. Or something similar.
And this is what I’m saying.
People in the small business/entrepreneur world tell you you need to have everything yourself.
How are you going to outfinance, outcompete companies on complete other levels without acquiring these resources from others? Just relying on yourself.
How could 1 person get more financing/investment in a company from investors compared to 1,000 of equal ability.
It’s never 1 person ‘beating the world’. Or beating the industry on their own.
Maybe if your aspiration is to be an average business.
“Oh but you should do what is best at each level, and it’s different for each level. Start just by yourself until you get X revenue. THEN hire people”
…..Well if you struggle to get X revenue on your own, how are you ever going to hire others?
The others help you grow the revenue in the first place.
I feel like the small business world is too overreliant on the founder and delusional about the capabilities of 1 person when competing against units 100-1,000x + bigger than them.
Come on.
Anything you want to compete in. In business.
Generally you already have competition.
And if you manage to somehow “spot” something they’ve “missed”, they could just copy you and wipe you out with their massive resources anyway.
In my opinion you need to expand your resources as FAST as possible.
Not this BS “oh wait until you get X profit on your own to hire other people”
Well if you’ve only made good profit on your own as a freelancer, and you’ve spent a lot of years trying to get a business off the ground solo, what are you meant to do?
“Oh just make it work” Great advice.
I just feel like there’s too much delusion into what it actually takes.
In a job or as a freelancer. It’s easier to make $3k-5k/month revenue because you’re only competing against individuals.
But when you try to compete against other businesses to make $3k-5k/month profit, you’re competing against businesses with 10x-100x the people, the money, the resources, the everything, to beat you.
So how are you meant to realistically beat them on your own? Without expanding your resources as quick as possible.
So because of this I believe if 1 person on their own is somehow meant to take a business from $0 to $10k/mo profit, then surely it will happen quicker if more people, of equal ability, are trying to make the business $0 to 10k/mo profit.
To be honest I don’t know what the truth is. This is just what I believe the truth is.
Because I’ve consumed so much wrong information from people acting like they have the correct advice in business.
All Youtube videos, articles, courses, claiming to make you successful in business, when in reality it’s just advice that sounds either easy to say or easy to hear.
Like it’s easy to say as a comment to this post, a response that takes 5 seconds to write, like the first thing that comes to your mind, like “just figure it out on your own”. But that’s not necessarily the truth, it’s just easy for you to say as a commenter. Comments aren’t necessarily the truth.
And on the other side business advice is easy to hear. Like “work on your own, make $1m/month, move to X country, live the life, working 2hours/day” which is just pure delusion. And most of the time the content/advice’s purpose is to benefit the business who made it, not the receiver of the advice. Because it’s selling a course or they have ad sense so they just want maximum engagement and views.
And anyone who is successful in business doesn’t need to give any advice. Because they’re applying the advice. Not giving it. Bill Gates or Jeff Bezos etc have no strong incentive trying to help others get to their level because they could just make an extra $10M-100M from spending the same time/energy/resources giving advice into growing their business.
They’re never gonna have advice that would help you beat them because otherwise they would’ve applied it themself.
And they are actually incentivized to not want others to truly succeed. Because it means more competition for them and less success for them.
So 99%+ of info online just seems like it’s not true.
I’m trying to figure out what is true and what isn’t.
Honestly though it’s difficult to even trust what anyone says in business. Any advice or feedback. For the reasons given.
Because 99% of feedback is either from people who haven’t truly grown a successful business, or it’s not related to you, or it involved luck, or it’s just like a motivational quote they tell you, or it’s a snarky comment they tell you.
It’s only helpful to them. And you are actually their customer or viewer or their entertainment. Not a successful business yourself. Because it’s just all misinformation that all contradicts with the truth.
So not even sure if it’s worth trying to get advice or if it’s all just pointless, just to figure it out myself from experience, trial and error and learning from my own thinking than relying on any other thinking.
Anyway do you think this is just crazy and I’m going crazy or is there any truth to what I’m saying?
Let me know your brutal honest feedback

This might be a slightly philosophical post. But the aim is to get to the bottom of what you should be truly doing. To truly get the most results.
There seems to be a MASSIVE amount of conflicting information online about how to do this.
“Do stuff that moves the needle forward”
“Do stuff that brings in revenue”
What does this truly mean though. And is it even the right thing. That’s the purpose of this post, to uncover.
When I’ve spent my time on actual needle-moving forward things, like taking business from 0 to revenue, doing all offer development, operations, sales process, marketing myself, it generally has taken me about 6 months to fully ‘try out’ a business idea I’ve had.
Most times it hasn’t worked.
Either it wasn’t profitable. Or there was a big problem somewhere.
I believe fundamentally it’s because I’m moving too slow.
Because it usually takes me around 6 months to ‘validate’ whether a business has good potential.
When you haven’t sold it or developed expertise in it yourself yet.
And I would say about 5% of the time it does work.
So if it takes 6 months and only 5% of the time it works (where you bring in revenue, no major issues), and each time it doesn’t work you try a new variation of it or something new based on what you learned, then it might take 10 years of trying different things to get the business to work.
Which sounds like it takes way too long.
So I thought about how the top companies move much quicker.
What separates them and my strategy.
And realized they simply had much more people on their team.
If you think about any successful organization who has achieved great things, and is world-leading, usually there is not 1 person on the team.
There seems to be a correlation between number of people on the team and speed of progress they can make in business.
Which goes against what most conventional startup wisdom tells you, most small business content creators etc all tell you to do it all yourself.
Which I’ve done for quite a few years and it’s gone so slowly in terms of overall progress.
If you should ‘do everything yourself’ then most Fortune 500 companies would’ve had single founders, and 1 person on their team. But the vast majority of successful Fortune 500 companies had co-founders.
And most successful businesses I know of, had co-founders.
And as they succeeded, they got more people on the team, and these people helped bring more success, then they brought more people.
Obviously there can be bad staff and not everyone contributes to the success of the company.
But I do believe, based on this, and observing top companies, that generally the more successful they are, the more people were involved with bringing about the success.
Which completely contradicts most information given to startups about ‘lone wolf’, ‘go it alone’. If that were true, Google would have 1 employee. Apple would have 1 employee.
And they would have never gotten off the ground.
Anyway, I may not have explained this perfectly but I do strongly believe the more & higher quality people are working together on something, the stats show these companies tend to do better, and successful companies you see often have more people than less working on them.
From the very beginning and now.
Regardless of the stage they were at.
So going based off this information, that the more people, the better, I have hired 30+ different people for different roles. Over the past few years. Across different businesses. To help speed up the progress in different areas.
From marketing roles, sales process roles, web development, app development, customer service, delivery of services.
And I would say there have been maybe 1 or 2 of them where I was actually happy with the result.
Most times, I would hire someone to do a job, and they didn’t do the job well, despite saying they were experienced.
And showing past examples of their work. And telling me everything I wanted to hear about how good they were.
It would often be that they would end up performing badly in the KPIs I set for them, giving many excuses, asking for help/questions/not solving anything on their own.
And just so many other problems. Like when there were multiple people at the same time on a team, working on the same project, they would blame each other and no one took responsibility despite clear responsibilities.
All telling me how other staff were bad and they were good, but getting conflicting info from all staff where they blame each other for everything so it’s difficult to know who to trust and who is being truthful.
Oftentimes not being reliable or doing what they were clearly asked to do.
Oftentimes trying to outsource the work I game them, to other people and not caring about the quality.
At my expense.
So I lost lots of clients, had low performing areas in the areas I hired for a lot of the time.
To be fair, things happened faster the more people there were.
But they often needed much more from me than they were contributing.
Like they always wanted to get paid more, for doing less work, weren’t reliable, did low quality work, didn’t hit KPIs, missed clear deadlines, always gave excuses, blamed others/external things, always asking how “I” wanted their job to be done, to the point where I was having to literally tell them every single thing to do and become an expert at their job myself, and show them how to do what they were put there to do, or do it myself, and still get a low quality result from them.
Anyway, the list goes on in all the problems I have experienced hiring people.
It really seems like a minefield.
But there were 1-2 people who did actually do well, who were responsive, who did what they committed to do, who hit deadlines, who did what they were asked, who didn’t give excuses. Who were actually honest hard workers who figured out how to solve problems and actually do the job that was asked from them.
Because of the amount of people I hired and the very low % of people who seemed to do their job well, it made me think that I am probably the problem here. If so many people are doing a bad job and not doing what they were actually hired to do. When most other companies seem to succeed at hiring people.
Then it must be a problem with myself and how I am hiring and managing them.
So it makes me think I need to level up in how I hire and manage people.
I’ve tried lots of different businesses and variations of them and some have done okay, some have not.
Mainly the most success I’ve had is in my own freelancing, where I don’t have other people on my team.
Because it’s kind of turned into a headache working with others. Who just seem to have mostly never been able to deliver what they promised without it becoming pointless to hire them in the first place with all the work I’m doing on their behalf and trying to pick up after all the problems and failures they’ve done.
So I’m not sure exactly what to spend my time and resources on.
I have money saved up from freelancing.
Where I can continue to hire people.
But I do feel I’ve had many many bad experiences.
And I believe it’s mostly my fault. Maybe my training, my hiring, my management, at places along the line I’ve not done it well enough.
I’ve tried to make improvements each time but it has kind of seemed like luck to get people who do actually do their job well.
I genuinely want to hire people and succeed in this.
Because if I can successfully work with people to achieve outcomes, rather than relying only on myself, I can build a real business and not just do freelancing.
In freelancing, I was able to make $3k-5k/month but it was very stressful and I hated speaking with clients, and was constantly stressed.
I generally really don’t like socialising with people. Including clients and staff.
And staff often try to get me to socialise unnecessarily so they can avoid doing their job, and pull me away from mine.
So trying to make it work.
I want to make it work with hiring people because if I can do this, I can make 10x-100x-1000x faster progress with other people on the same team.
But I do have a very bad track record so far. So it’s kind of painful returning to it and continuing to have bad experiences.
But at the same time I know it’s me who’s probably at fault because there can’t be this many bad people I’ve hired and it surely can’t be this bad for everyone.
I think the reason is that I’ve been better at managing myself and doing things successfully solo throughout my life.
Like I’ve achieved very good things in solo sports, in academia, and in many areas that don’t require a team, but often become frustrated working in a team.
But I don’t want my business success to be limited to 1 person.
So I truly want to make it work in improving my ability to manage (ideally a large amount of) people in a way where they can actually deliver and it work well.
Because I was capped in freelancing to making $3k-5k/month because I couldn’t take on more clients because I was undercharging and overdelivering and couldn’t handle more due to being massively stressed out and hating it. I was able to work with less clients at times and charge higher, but they never wanted me to ‘outsource’ my work to others or bring on a team, and I felt bad about it because had bad experiences where I had felt like I let clients down, and oftentimes they told me they had hired me because of me, and not wanted me to ‘outsource’ the work.
But I want to make it work.
Building a real business with a team. Not just doing freelancing and relying just on myself.
So I have time and money and resources to put into this.
I have 1 staff member currently who is unproductive. But we have an equity deal so it doesn’t cost me money for them to perform. But costs me lots of time and their performance is extremely weak. Don’t even want to go into detail, but it’s a nightmare. Their performance is about 1/10 but I believe I can raise their performance if I improve my ability to raise their performance.
Anyway. I want to build a team, but not sure exactly what activities are best ways to spend my time.
If I am physically making improvements, I feel I am slowing down the business progress.
Whereas I want to hire and manage people.
I’ve built training so that this co-founder is able to hire people. And these people can use the same training to hire people.
But I don’t currently have training to enable them to manage people.
My fear is that without training, people just ask unlimited questions on how to do something in their role and it becomes pointless to have hired them because I have to do everything they should have done to do it, so they basically just become a robot following very specific instructions. Rather than a human being who can achieve things independently.
So for example, if I made this training, it would take up all my time, whereas I have savings I’ve accumulated from freelancing which I can put into either having the co-founder manage staff, or have the co-founder make management training at the same time to enable more and more staff to hire and manage new staff. To achieve overall objectives and KPIs.
Or I could have the co-founder hire someone to make the training.
Then that frees up my time, my co-founders, time and only takes financial resources to accomplish.
What I want to achieve, is a scenario where I can give staff KPIs and objectives, and they are enabled to hire and manage people who can meet these objectives. Independently without my help required.
They give feedback, and I have a system for feedback to internal improvements can be made based on staff feedback.
Without it being unfiltered, it’s structured and organised so people can’t just get unlimited help/training/whatever from me.
Where they should be able to take actions, iterate, learn, improve, and act as independent thinking people who can achieve objectives themselves. Or within a system where it’s not all tied directly to me.
E.g. I have direct reports going to me.
But they have direct reports who go to them.
Previously I had a system where I did this, but then staff at the bottom of the hierarchy would ask their managers questions, and the managers wouldn’t know the answer so would then ask me the questions, and so jumping over the managers and making me deal with everything.
Whereas I want to build a system where people can make business progress in their specific area, independently without everything going to the CEO. Only important/urgent things are feedbacked to the CEO.
This way I believe much faster progress can happen.
Because I won’t be bogged down by exponentially growing problems.
Like with how it works in any successful organisation.
Tim Cook has only a handful of direct reports. Who each only have a handful of direct reports. And so on.
He’s making the most important decisions, dealing with what’s most important and strategic, with top authority, dealing with everything as a birds eye view, but not doing every employee’s job for them, teaching every employee how to do their job. Picking up the pieces after every employee misses their deadlines, doesn’t do their work, gives excuses, does poor work that doesn’t help the company.
Even in any successful organisation. Each unit/person is making their own decisions, taking their own action, learning from it, practicing themself at improving, gaining their own experience, not all relying on 1 person, every single person in the organisation, just for them to do their job.
In successful organisations, people at every level experience new problems all the time, and don’t need to contact the #1 person at the top just to deal with it.
They come up with a solution and go for it. And iterate. Learn, try to do something better next time. And there’s a constant learning/feedback process going on across the organisation which everyone takes part in, not just 1 person doing every part for everyone.
I believe this structure of modelling what actually successful organisations do is the correct way. Because they’re successful for a reason.
Not this ‘hustle grindset’ BS in the startup/business world where lots of information seems to be saying the wrong thing. It just makes no sense to make every single person 100% reliant on you for them to do their job.
Anyway so I’m thinking about what I should do with my time.
What I want to do, is tell my co-founder what to do, which involves hiring and managing people who do things that move the needle forward in the business, as defined by me, and some of those people also hire and manage people. To have an exponentially growing system of people growing the organisation. And a communication and feedback and learning system and autonomy within the system itself so it can take action, learn, grow, thrive. As a system within itself.
I believe if hypothetically, I did everything myself, then it takes about 6 months to ‘validate’ whether a business has good potential, and 5% of the time it does. So if I do everything myself, I believe it will take me 10 years to get a business off the ground.
But if I utilise my money and time more efficiently, I can have as many people working on each part involved in validating these businesses as possible.
I don’t know if that is lazy or smart.
I believe it’s both. But mostly smart. Because I believe I can convince, hire, organise, manage people to either work on equity deals or pay in a way where businesses can realistically bring in profit.
My co-founder does very little of what I ask him to do.
And he wants me to be doing individual things.
He objectively is financially and intelligently very poor and has very minimal skills or experience.
Not to be offensive. Just to paint a picture. So since there is conflicting information everywhere in the business world and you need to choose who to trust, I don’t trust what he believes.
Objectively I am much richer in all these areas than him.
So I used to operate on a democratic system with them. But it’s kind of like, in a vote for president, if you have 80% of the population being easily controlled by the media and being very dumb and easy to sway and manipulate into believing anything, and they vote for things which are objectively dumb and go against what the smartest and objectively most valuable people vote for, I don’t want to be held back by a dumb population having authority or being listened to, if they have a clear, long track record of making very bad decisions.
If you were to take business advice from a homeless person with no experience, money or intellect, or a Fortune 500 CEO, who let’s say objectively has massive experience, money, intellect and success. Then I would probably take what the CEO has to say.
If you had to listen to what a scientist vs 12 year old had to say about a scientific topic, you’d probably want to listen to the scientist who studied the topic and is well respected in their field.
So I believe it would be dumb for both of us, if he made decisions, objectively.
But at the same time it’s difficult to truly know what the truth is.
The Fortune 500 CEO could be telling you what you want to hear, and could have an incentive to lie to you to send you in the wrong direction with bad business advice so you don’t become competition to them, and the homeless person could be honest.
The scientist could be trying to gain fame and get attention to themself to build their career on a lie and fake experiments whereas the 12 year old could be a science savant.
So it’s difficult to truly know what the truth is.
If I should listen to him or myself.
Objectively.

1. I believe if I spend time building the business via this logic I’ve described above, it can grow much faster, with unlimited people working on it and performing well, if the necessary improvements are made.
   
2. And I believe if I were to do the individual things necessary to do it, it would take 6 months to ‘validate’ each’s potential. I.e. try everything in that timeframe to make it work, build a good service/product, build good sales process, build good marketing, deal with customers, etc, all on your own.
   

Whereas in the first option, other people could do all these things.
Human development over history has happened due to the input of millions, if not billions of people.
There wasn’t 1 person who did all the work to get Carnegie or Bill Gates or Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk or Mark Zuckerberg to gain the success they’ve achieved.
They all build an empire off the backs of others.
Did the slave owners do the slave work themselves when they brought slaves to America? No.
Does Elon do all the individual parts necessary to grow the company? No. He leads and controls the people in order to do that.
Does Mark Zuckerberg single handedly get Facebook off the ground? No. There were 10+ people involved. He stole code from others. Who sued him.
All of these people had exponentially growing staff as the company grew, as fuel to grow the company.
So if you have the money and strategy to lead them to success, I believe it surely is possible.
So long story short this is a long rambling piece of writing but I believe there’s very little impact 1 individual person has on the success of a company. Controlling and amassing an army of people who build the company up and contribute to the company sounds more true.
Does 1 person do everything involved in every sports team? No. Each player plays their respective part. Directed by the coach/manager.
Does 1 person do everything involved in musical orchestras? No each musician plays their part. Directed by the conductor.
And so on.
If you can build an exponentially growing team of staff who effectively work together, bring others on, take action to grow the business, learn from mistakes, make improvements, are highly motivated, are led successfully, it can achieve great things. I feel like it’s a delusion that individual people single-handedly grow companies without others.
So what should that person spend their time doing?
Doing all the millions of things necessary to grow the company? Or bring and manage others who some make progress themselves, some bring and manage others, to gain more and more resources to make progress at faster and faster rate.
Do successful people really have only 1 person responsible? No. They have teams of people behind them.
So trying to do the work of 1,000 people as 1 person sounds 1,000x as hard as getting 1,000 people to each do the work of 1 person.
So if you can finance the growth of the company via hiring others.
Let’s assume I can finance this exponential staff growth. Then surely I should do it right?
Like if I were to compete with 1 person trying to grow their business, and I had 1,000+ people, all doing their jobs effectively, being organised, working as a system not all relying on me, the competition where it’s 1 staff member on average would get beaten.
And surely any excuse you could give, I could just hire someone to solve that excuse.
Like “oh but what roles do you hire these people to do?” well I could hire someone whose role is to figure out what roles they should do. “But what if x?” well I could hire someone whose role is to solve that too. And so on. “Oh but do you have enough money to pay these staff?” Yes. And I can hire people whose job is to bring in money. Whether it’s fundraising, raising from
Did Hitler fight WW2 with 1 person? No. He fought it with millions, if not hundreds of millions of people.
Did Amazon/[insert any Fortune 500 company] get to their size today from having 1 staff member who did everything? No. They had thousands if not hundreds of thousands of staff.
Did any successful mom and pop shop/small business get to their size today from 1 staff member? No. They are one of the largest employers in the USA. Which means they hire a lot of people. Successful mom & pop shops generally have more staff the more successful they are.
Armies generally have more success the bigger and more effective they are.
Companies generally have more success the more staff and more effective the staff are.
So surely we shouldn’t hold ourselves back, to use the example of war, it’s like trying to go to war with others who have hundreds of thousands of people in their army, with just 1 person, yourself. Who is going to win? Them.
How are you going to compete with companies with way more staff, and way more effective staff than you? You would have to become exponentially more effective as 1 person which I just don’t know if it’s realistic.
I think it’s more delusional to believe that 1 person can do as well as 10 or 20 or 50 or 100 or more people who are each as effective as that 1 person.
So if you were to win, you would probably want to expand your army/staff and make them more effective, rather than try to make yourself somehow perform on the same level as armies/companies with thousands or hundreds of thousands of people. It’s just delusional to believe you can beat them in my opinion.
In business, you’d have to be extremely skilled at hundreds of different skills, spend 10+ hours on 100+ individual areas of the business each week to compete with 1,000+ staff who, if performing effectively, would crush you.
This is just my thoughts.
Am I being delusional? Come on…
I just feel like this is the way. Just look at the most successful organisations in history. Was it 1 person?
No, 1 person cannot realistically win a war against 100,000+ people. No matter how good they are. They would need to be top 0.00000000001% in skill in the world at what they’re beating the other side at.
Could 1 footballer beat a football team of 100 people of equal ability than them? No.
Could a company of 1 person outperform a company of 1,000 people? No.
So I believe if I can solve the ability to do this, I can grow a team of unlimited size to conquer and beat any problem thrown at us.
It’s just down to control of people.
Money doesn’t exist.
Even biggest most successful companies in the world mostly didn’t get there on their own.
I believe less than 1% of Fortune 500 Companies were bootstrapped. Or something similar.
And this is what I’m saying.
People in the small business/entrepreneur world tell you you need to have everything yourself.
How are you going to outfinance, outcompete companies on complete other levels without acquiring these resources from others? Just relying on yourself.
How could 1 person get more financing/investment in a company from investors compared to 1,000 of equal ability.
It’s never 1 person ‘beating the world’. Or beating the industry on their own.
Maybe if your aspiration is to be an average business.
“Oh but you should do what is best at each level, and it’s different for each level. Start just by yourself until you get X revenue. THEN hire people”
…..Well if you struggle to get X revenue on your own, how are you ever going to hire others?
The others help you grow the revenue in the first place.
I feel like the small business world is too overreliant on the founder and delusional about the capabilities of 1 person when competing against units 100-1,000x + bigger than them.
Come on.
Anything you want to compete in. In business.
Generally you already have competition.
And if you manage to somehow “spot” something they’ve “missed”, they could just copy you and wipe you out with their massive resources anyway.
In my opinion you need to expand your resources as FAST as possible.
Not this BS “oh wait until you get X profit on your own to hire other people”
Well if you’ve only made good profit on your own as a freelancer, and you’ve spent a lot of years trying to get a business off the ground solo, what are you meant to do?
“Oh just make it work” Great advice.
I just feel like there’s too much delusion into what it actually takes.
In a job or as a freelancer. It’s easier to make $3k-5k/month revenue because you’re only competing against individuals.
But when you try to compete against other businesses to make $3k-5k/month profit, you’re competing against businesses with 10x-100x the people, the money, the resources, the everything, to beat you.
So how are you meant to realistically beat them on your own? Without expanding your resources as quick as possible.
So because of this I believe if 1 person on their own is somehow meant to take a business from $0 to $10k/mo profit, then surely it will happen quicker if more people, of equal ability, are trying to make the business $0 to 10k/mo profit.
To be honest I don’t know what the truth is. This is just what I believe the truth is.
Because I’ve consumed so much wrong information from people acting like they have the correct advice in business.
All Youtube videos, articles, courses, claiming to make you successful in business, when in reality it’s just advice that sounds either easy to say or easy to hear.
Like it’s easy to say as a comment to this post, a response that takes 5 seconds to write, like the first thing that comes to your mind, like “just figure it out on your own”. But that’s not necessarily the truth, it’s just easy for you to say as a commenter. Comments aren’t necessarily the truth.
And on the other side business advice is easy to hear. Like “work on your own, make $1m/month, move to X country, live the life, working 2hours/day” which is just pure delusion. And most of the time the content/advice’s purpose is to benefit the business who made it, not the receiver of the advice. Because it’s selling a course or they have ad sense so they just want maximum engagement and views.
And anyone who is successful in business doesn’t need to give any advice. Because they’re applying the advice. Not giving it. Bill Gates or Jeff Bezos etc have no strong incentive trying to help others get to their level because they could just make an extra $10M-100M from spending the same time/energy/resources giving advice into growing their business.
They’re never gonna have advice that would help you beat them because otherwise they would’ve applied it themself.
And they are actually incentivized to not want others to truly succeed. Because it means more competition for them and less success for them.
So 99%+ of info online just seems like it’s not true.
I’m trying to figure out what is true and what isn’t.
Honestly though it’s difficult to even trust what anyone says in business. Any advice or feedback. For the reasons given.
Because 99% of feedback is either from people who haven’t truly grown a successful business, or it’s not related to you, or it involved luck, or it’s just like a motivational quote they tell you, or it’s a snarky comment they tell you.
It’s only helpful to them. And you are actually their customer or viewer or their entertainment. Not a successful business yourself. Because it’s just all misinformation that all contradicts with the truth.
So not even sure if it’s worth trying to get advice or if it’s all just pointless, just to figure it out myself from experience, trial and error and learning from my own thinking than relying on any other thinking.
Anyway do you think this is just crazy and I’m going crazy or is there any truth to what I’m saying?
Let me know your brutal honest feedback

My dog Winston just completed 8 weeks of crate rest. On advice of our neurologist vet, I started taking him on short walks in the neighborhood. Lots of dogs here, well-behaved and always on leash. Winston is a Cavalier and his favorite thing in the world is meeting and greeting people on his walks, he’s a very friendly dog. The downside is he gets super excited, pulling hard on his harness to drag me over, bouncing in a circle, standing on his hind legs, etc. Obviously none of this is good for his back. I let him get away with this behavior before IVDD (I always asked permission to approach people and dogs). But, I had limited success in the past getting him to modify his super-excited mode. It was not a serious problem then; now it’s a problem. W is free of pain and can walk without issues and I’m so grateful for that. I feel badly for him about taking away his joy. However, it’s my job to protect him. (I’m aware I’m paranoid and anxious.)
So, we’re back in training mode. Winston knows all the commands (heel, leave it, sit, go sniff, etc), but he has selective hearing and is stubborn, so it’s going to take time to get him retrained. The issue is other dog walkers. They don’t know Winston has a bad back. Most people don’t know what IVDD is. And W is very cute! Unfortunately, no matter what I try (walking early AM, swiftly changing routes when another person is approaching), we invariably encounter other walkers. If they know Winston, they call out his name. This morning, even when it was obvious I was struggling, people kept walking toward us saying “my dog is friendly, he just wants to say hello”. I don’t want to offend anyone, but I can’t let W meet and greet until I have better control of him. I’ve tried to explain briefly about his bad back, but I get puzzled looks, and glances that make me feel like a monster.
If you’ve read this far, thanks. I’m just feeling guilty and depressed and needed to get this off my chest. I’m so sad that Winston’s life has changed for the worse. Thanks, IVDD community.

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I I guess I'm looking for validation that this is textbook, and I am looking at this correctly. I guess that is the effect of being gaslit - you don’t know your reality is really your reality. But I am here, and asking for help, because I will need to see him for the next 12 years (our kids go to the same school). This will be in passing and at events, but I am traumatized, still recovering, and just scared. I am looking for some insights because I spent about 2 months trying to fit my story into a box of emotional and narcissistic abuse…. But it's not that....I see that now. If you are able to share tidbits of knowledge, or point me in the direction of more clarity, I would appreciate it so much. Thank you so so much.
I am going to write out the cliff notes. I imagine a lot of you can fill in the parts I leave out as from what I read on here, it’s typical.
I met him walking my kid to school. He walked the same way every day. Over time, we became friends, and I learned he was trying to leave his marriage. Once he did, the relationship happened fast – too fast. He seemed so 100 percent sure of me and it was odd. I often looked disheveled walking to school and tired….I am not sure what he saw in me. But, I felt sure of him too, but wanted to go slower. I tried to slow it down, but at the same time, didn't. I am responsible for that. I felt like a hamster on a wheel after a few weeks and was able to tell him that I need the weekdays for myself, for my work, and for my kid. He seemed to respect that.
But he often romanticized the first few weeks together....even in the last days.
Quickly, I started to notice the emotional dysregulation. There was a lot going on for him: moving out, going through the divorce, parenting, work….so I understood it. I was also still getting to know him. Then severe trauma responses and triggers started happening. They would lead to these large child-like reactions with a lot of tears and anger. I didn't understand it but knew enough to know he had trauma to work through, and perhaps was feeling it for the first time. Each time this happened, there was nothing I could say to help or get him out of it, he would blame me a lot and say I was the cause, and he expected me (without saying it) to be there for him 110% even though I couldn’t. And truthfully, I didn’t want to….I wanted him to be able to handle that for himself or realize it was an issue. I didn't have the tools to deal with it and suggested he try deeper therapy. He agreed.
When he first met with the therapist, she told him it is like a virus takes over his brain and he is convinced in those moments. That was music to my ears at the time. But that is the last time I felt that way.
After a few months of this cycle continuing, I started detoriating. First my mental health, and then my physical health. I couldn’t breathe. I felt like we couldn’t go a few days without him reacting to something small. I wrote in my journal many times “there's no amount of validation I can give this person.”
I didn't point it to excessive adoration and validation, I could not see that really, but if he texted me 5 things and I responded to all 4 logistical ones and ended with "love you too" I was chastised. If I was driving and did not respond to an “i love you,” I was called out for it. At the end of October, I told him I needed the weekend to clean my apartment. It happened to be 60 degrees that day and of course, I would have preferred to be outside, but I am an adult and could not blow off my commitment to myself to clean. That day he messaged me 18 times that me missed me. He kept inviting me out. I kept asking him to stop, because clearly I would prefer to do something else than clean, but needed to. The missing was excessive. I didn’t even know what he meant. We lived next door to eachother. That night, I had to work, and he was upset with me because to him, it was optional and I should have chose to see him.
There were so many moments when he wanted so much comfort I couldn't provide. We were both single parents. That kind of affection goes to my kid....and I couldn't give it to him in that way. He would even want the affection when he hurt me.
He would see my daughter freak out at me and then say that I don’t love her enough, and he would joke they are the same….
It wasn’t a joke?
As time went on, and his therapy went on, and he felt validated by the therapist, the blame came on more and never left. It started in August, and even when I'd get an apology, it would be for the impact (what I'm responsible for) and not his intent. He'd argue with me over seeing his intent clearly. I'd say I don't care about your intent, you're killing me. It didn’t matter, nothing did.
I never felt like we could repair any incidents. As the blame went on, I really questioned myself. I wondered if he was right. What if I don't love enough? What if I don't receive love well? I've been in therapy for 20 years and know I have limitations but I'm not an asshole…
I felt coerced a lot of the time.
I felt he wanted me to change a lot....he wanted me to be less blunt, more loving, more balanced, work less even though he was awful with money, have sex when sick, injured or mentally dead from the day, always be happy to see him, don't be affected by the trauma responses and don't try to talk to him about it, don't take space and if I do, prepare for some kind of punishment, love him and miss him endlessly, do everything together, if I am dysregulated, he wanted me to regulate with him….
I noticed I started taking precautions to keep myself dafe. I didn’t realize I was setting boundaries to prevent the abuse but I was. I’d say I was busy when I wasn’t. I wouldn’t accept or ask him to get me from the airport, knowing I would not be 100% happy after a flight and that would cause a fight (as it did). I didn’t ask for help, and when I did ask for help, I would expect the help to not happen. I did not communicate anything he did “wrong” (like, you said you would drop off quarters for laundry on monday….do you have them?)
There were a lot of moments we would have deep conversations and I felt like we were getting somewhere, that he heard me.
I'll fast forward to the end because this is already way longer than I wanted….and it’s sad that I know it could be so much longer.
In the last month, he reacted and blamed me for everything. There were at least 5 major incidents. After the last one, I told him I was done. It was really bad and left me spending $50 to uber home in the snow, when I could barley walk as is (I had a herniated disc in my back and could barley walk). That month, I lost health insurance, and after begging for time to just take care of the injury, he told me we need intensive couples counseling. I had asked to just continue our therapist until we could change. That wasn't enough. The next weekend he asked me to go to a Gottman weekend. I said I couldn't leave my kid to do that right now and needed to take care of my help.
After that snow episode, that was really bad, laced with blame in the unpacking, I said I'm done, I can't do it. I was crying uncontrollably. I was scared. I really did not know who I was speaking to. After an hour, right when I needed to leave, he snapped out of whatever mindset he was in and told me he'd do anything, that he would work on anything, to please stay. I had to go, I could not think anymore. So in desperation, the only thing I asked for was to go alone on a trip with my daughter. He was scheduled to come with us. I said I needed time just with her. He agreed.
And honestly, he held up his end of the bargain....until he didn't.
3 days before the trip everything fell apart. I worked 12 hours that day and at the end of the day, went to pour water in a cup at home. It was the only time we had together before I left for the week. He hugged me from behind while I was pouring the water (....remember herniated disc in my back). I asked him to please stop and just let me have a second to pour the water.
He said "there's no turning back from this" and got his stuff to leave. I was floored. I was so upset because I knew where this was going - the blame game. He left, wouldn't come back, and then continued to blame me for the next 2 days about how I was an asshole the days before, only spent time with him out of obligation (not true), and rewrote history. I had a stomach bug all weekend and could not eat, but still tried to hang out as much as I reasonably could, and that was not enough.
The water incident was Wednesday, Thursday he had therapy and reinforced the blame, and I ended up leaving without saying goodbye. It was a week. I wanted to believe this relationship could survive a week. But I was clear with him days before: I am working up until I need to leave Friday so I can have real time off with my kid. He was upset I did not find him to say goodbye, even though he made no attempt to make peace earlier. But of course, my fault.
That night, he claimed down. Was nice. But it was a trap. After 12 hours of him being nice in text he said he was only doing it hoping I felt remorse and realized how wrong I was. He told me over and over he wouldn't see it differently. He said he read the transcript of our texts to 2 therapists and his friends and it’s clear: I am wrong. May be important to name here that we are both in our late 30’s.
I said that I want to work this out and I'll talk when we can actually discuss it and I'm willing to hear his side but not willing to blindly take all responsibility. He nailed me on every response, telling me how wrong my response was and what I should have done differently.
I was with my kid and could not talk. When I said "why are you doing this now, you know I can’t really respond" he told me to stop avoiding.
That night, he ghosted me for the first time in the relationship and I panicked. I called him a few times. No answer.
The next day, despite him never doing that to me before, he called me controlling for calling.
At 7am the next morning he told me our relationship was over in a text. This man, who 7 days before was professing his love and understanding of me ended the engagement in a text. This of course continued with a back and forth. I asked him to please stop. To please pause and talk to me when i'm back in 5 days. He told me to fight for the relationship or it was over. I said “I am just waking up with my 7 year old, in a hotel, please stop.” I asked him to attend couples therapy in 3 days to talk this out. He said “you accept all responsibility and change your behavior or we are done.” I asked if he was willing to talk and he said the problem was my perception and that it's wrong, so unless I change we are done. I knew this wasn't ok but I was so blindsided I did not know what to do. He agreed to go to couples therapy Thursday. We barley talked. There were a few more messages of him telling me he needs to know I can live a drama free life and celebrate his love and see it all as beautiful (almost verbatim). At this point, all I wanted to do is keep the dial down. I pushed back saying, “I cannot teach my daughter that someone can just tell her that her emotions and feelings are wrong, I hope you will be willing to talk and we can get on the same page.”
He agreed to go to couples therapy, and then didn't show up. He texted me 10 minutes before saying he was not going. I begged and pleaded. But he had the couples therapist to tell me he wasn't going to go. He had her tell me. I lost it. I lost my mind. I had been reeling for days. Not sleeping. Putting on a fake smile all day with my kid while I was dying inside. Staying up late to cry, process, read, figure out wtf was going on…
I called him about 10 times and of course, he told me it was inappropriate. He then picked up and gave me 10 minutes. He again wanted me to take all responsibility for everything. I was so shaken, I just fawned. I said ok. When I'm back I hope we can talk but if you want me to accept blame for now, fine.
Everything was calmer for 2 days until we were heading back and he texted me something along the lines of "don't fool me" I was like wtf? He said "there's no turning back. There's no other chances." I was like wait what? And then it was "don't make me look like a fool" I had no idea what was going on. I was like "um what is this?" He essentially was reinforcing his stance: I am to blame for everything in the present and past. If I try to talk to him about his side I'm wrong. I need to repent and one wrong move (defined by him) is a misstep and there's no room for error (his words). I was like....I will be in a relationship based in reality, and I will own my part and parts, but i will not be in something that i'm to blame for everything. That is not healthy. I have also been in abusive relationships before.
He then stopped messaging me. Didn't care that we got into flight issues. Didn't care we made the flight back. That night he came over and was a victim. Claimed in the 5 days I was gone he found himself. That he wasn't focused at work because of me and now he is. He wanted to try to be together. I had no idea what reality I was in. We slept together. He left. And told me we'd talk the next day. All of this felt so weird but I was just hoping he would snap out of this and back to reality and we would be able to talk. But I also knew this had to end at this point.
The next day, he didn't answer me all day. This was the opposite of behavior I ever experienced from him. Did not respond to texts or pick up the phone. We had a training appointment and he had the trainer tell me he wasn't coming. I broke down in tears. I begged him to just answer a text. He didn't. He drove by me while walking the dog and did not stop. I emailed him, expressing my confusion, telling him this is not what we agreed to. He blocked me. That night I got an email from him letting me know he was moving 10 min away. He lived next door in another apt building. He actually assured me the day before he “was not going anywhere.” In that email, he listed out the calls and texts I sent and how inappropriate it was. He never said we were done. He said taking space, needing space…so in my head I was confused but see it now.
I was inconsolable. I didn’t respond.
But here is the issue I am still in: I needed to see him dropping his kid at school the next day. I will need to see him for the next 12 years unless I move.
The following Friday he stood next to me at a school event. I purposely stood in the back to have space and be able to leave if I needed to. He went next to me. When I told him he should sit, he said he didn't want to make it obvious to his ex wife. I asked him to speak that Friday. He said ok but he was moving. I cried instantly. Already? I said ok.
On Saturday am, I saw the truck pull up and left the house. I called him that Saturday. I was blocked.
The next wednesday he asked me for a series of logistics in a text. None of which I handled yet. Wanting me to cancel flights and settle up money spent together. No mention or responsibility for all the money wasted on tickets we will never use. But then…in the text, asked for my engagement ring back.
I responded to logistics. Not the ring
He then called me 3 hours later because something went really wrong in his legal case. He wanted me to understand and validate him. I did....I just turned off my feelings for a moment. At the end he said, so about the flights. Can you handle it? "If i cancel it for you and your son i also have to do it for me and my kid. It's all on the same reservation" "well if you can go and not make sexual advances on me then we can try to go together.” I was like wtf? I could not have sex for months due to my injury. But he wanted to. Was this way of setting up blame that if we DID sleep together I would be to blame? I was like “I will cancel it for all of us.”
He then ran down more logistics and I said honestly you didn't seem done. I don't understand what you're doing. He said "im done" i hung up the phone.
He asked me for the ring again that night in a text. I said no, I need time to process this.
Everything since then has been a transaction. If i have a genuine emotion, he gets upset that i have it at all. He continues to sit next to me at school events because he claims he does not want his ex-wife to think we are done (this is insane to me….). I realize now that if it is a “good” interaction he is happy. If I am sad, then it is a “bad” one.
He never told his son we broke up, and shamed me for telling my daughter.
Recently he asked me a question and I was annoyed, and he said "can you not be mad at me?" I said “no, I can't not be mad at you…”
In the last 3 months, he’s said "I don't want to confuse things" has come up a lot. I don’t know if he is saying that to me or himself.
I have been so stuck trying to understand how I could not take space at all from him, to being totally discarded. I know he went back to spending, and drinking, but I don’t think he is seeing anyone.
He only responds when he wants to. He ignores other things. I never was able to get an MRI for my back because the claim went through a DR he set up for me and he never sent me the info when I asked.
I got the money back he owed me, but still lost so much money.
He told me he missed me one time.
I don’t know who this person is.
I will have to see him for the next 12 years while the kids are in school unless I move. I am not going to move just to avoid him, but I need to heal so I can be strong enough. I don’t know if he is going to try to come back. I have been in therapy and am getting clearer about what brought me into this in the first place.
Any clarity you can help me with, on this, and what may come from here, would be really helpful. It will help me direct some of my searches and begin to piece things together to process in therapy. I have severe anxiety when I run into him at school.
I have never had to heal from something like this before. At first, I thought it was healing from a narcissistic discard….this feels like so much more.
Does it sound like he will want to come back?
Is there ever closure?

Hey yall, I’ve been with my current employer for roughly 5 years now. To keep things vague i work in cosmetology and am a full time hourly paid employee in Texas. My boss brings in outside educators for training days, however will ONLY do this on Sundays when the actual business is closed. These are mandatory (often around 6-8 hours) and unpaid. I have been told that if you do not attend your raise is withheld. I so far have been the only one to push back against this and it’s started to cause some issues. I am being told I should be grateful to be getting this education for free (while continuing education is necessary for cosmetology, we are under a strict noncompete so these training days would benefit no one other than my employer as they are brand specific) this is not somewhere I wish to work longer term however I’m in the midst of trying to change careers so I will have to continue here for at least 6 more months/end of year. I am getting push back from HR as well as team leads about not attending these classes. Curious if anyone has any recommendations for recourse/how to respond, thank you!

I'm sure most of Chicago/Booth/Kellogg have heard of this company by now, but they also started recruiting consultants/MBA for their other branches (T25) so I made a post.
TLDR: If you're toxic, there's more worthy places to climb. If you aren't toxic, you will either be disgusted or turn toxic. This place will tank your resume/career progression if you stay for more than 2-3 years.
Quick Intro: McMaster-Carr is the Amazon of Industrial Supplies. They ship to the US Miltary, manufacturers, engineers, technicians, etc... Their customers are the engineers but the bills are paid by the Finance Dept hence as long as McM do a consistent good job delivering to the engineers, they can charge exorbitant amount (e.g $30 screw and $50 shipping; real example.) Their margins on most items are between 50% to 250% and revenue is $5B+. This is how they can pay entry managements with 0yoe $170k (bonus included, deferred saving excluded; see more below) and middle managers (3-10YOE) up to $300k.
Path/Exit: You will get a random rotation every 6-18 months. The rotation can be literally anything from Warehouse Operations Management Role to HR to Finance/Fraud. Management Trainee (0-18m depending on your background/initial performance). Supervisor (no pay raise as MT are expected to become Sup eventually; can be skipped if you have pre-MBA exp and did well in your initial performance.) ManageSeniorM (3-5yoe/5-8yoe; most people languished here until they decided to go all in or all out with McMaster.) After this come Regional ManageDirectoVP. You can leave at M/SM and might still be able to transition to a new careeindustry afterward. Otherwise, it's a tough sale. Even before the mid-2023 general market downturn, I knew Regional/Directors who took 1+ year just to switch to another manufacturing/industrial/supplychain job. Not even an industry switch.
Their Targets: In the past, 95%+ of management came from straight out of Ivy/Top Liberal Arts undergrad. This breeds an incredibly toxic environment since many of them are not mature/don't have leadership experience (the cream of the crop don't consider McMaster) and it's a case of the blinds leading the blinds. McM had a purge of toxic leaders back in mid-2010s but this problem returned. Since then, they have tried to recruit a few more consultants rather than depending solely on fresh grads. This recruiting effort has and continued to go miserably. Despite mass reach-out effort every single year, they only got some ex-B4 (1 Parthenon but the rest is regular B4), but they couldn't get anyone from T2 or MBB.
Nature of the work: (Micro)managing individual contributors and troubleshooting outdated issues (that are only found in 40yo+ warehouses) if you get a warehouse rotation. McM tries to sell you on these, but from my post-McM interviews as well as McM managers' outcomes, these skills are worthless. For once, the ICs get paid quite well so they work very hard. Management, in an attempt to justify their outrageous salary, tries to micromanage all the time even when outclassed by 20+ years of knowledge. IC vs Management issue will be further discussed in the Cons section. Another issue is that managing blue-collar is no way the same as managing white-collar so most hiring managers don't really care for this exp. The company doesn't really do marketing, M&A, or new market (it took them 30+ years to just now opening a new branch in Texas because McM's tech couldn't handle having 6 warehouses instead of 5.) I'm not kidding. They passed on growth opportunity for 30+ years because they didn't want to change... Also because the company doesn't do marketing, they are not good at customer behavior analytics, resulting in their website redesign that took 2+ years to get scraped ater 1 week due to customer complaints.)
Pro:
• Their pay. McM has a 2.9 Glassdoor rating despite having a 4.6 rating in Compensation and Benefits. Pay include:

 •Base (0yoe: ~115k; ~$10k for each add year; ~$160k for Manager) •Profit Sharing (average 50%+ of base; lowest was ~33% in 2008 & 45% in 2020; 2022 was ~50%+ and 2023 was ~60%) •Deferred Saving (25% of Base&PS. Vest schedule 0%/20%/40%/60%/80%/100% over 6 years.) 

• Their Education tuition policy: After the first 3 months, You can take any part-time program (e.g PT-MBA, PT-MS, PT-MA) or Certificate completely free, doesn’t have to be work-related, and no string attached. You can literally leave after they paid for your tuition and can still finish your course.
Cons: Glassdoor Reviews:
• There’s another purge/headcount reduction going on right now. A tidbit is that management above your level can see the performance review of everyone below them. This contributes to how much drama, backstabbing, and rumors float internally. Recently, an ex-Trainee even wrote a long post calling out his spineless manager and backstabbing coworkers in a GroupMe with 100+ members of management. The manager left soon after. The ex-Trainee even told McMaster to blacklist his undergrad for recruiting. Absolute legend.
• The operations and tech stack are very constrained and not replicable. The company uses 80s IBM Tech for CRM/ERP so unless you’re working on a Website-related project (which you can sometimes use Python/SQL), you will be writing outdated queries to pull data. McM also doesn’t use Powerpoint so you will have to learn Adobe Indesign. The company’s warehouses themselves have a ton of makeshifts and outdated stuff. If you get a warehouse assignment, you will be putting out fires arose from issues not addressed by the original warehouse design. If you think you will be value-add to a company like Amazon after your McMaster’s experience, you are wrong. Amazon warehouses are built in the early/mid 2010s and have about 30 years of new automation/technology integrated to them. McM is still tinkering with their first automated warehouse. Experience putting out fixed/nonexistent issues is worthless.
• This company hire fake review writers. You will notice the positive reviews are all generic and one line whereas the negative reviews (from both Managements and ICs) are all super long and super informative. You will also notice that there’s no longer a “Most Helpful” sort on Glassdoor. This is because all the negative reviews get liked so much. Now it’s just “Most Popular” which is just fake reviews with 0 like/dislike.
• Relationships between Management and Individual Contributors are more fraught than ever. The situation has always been incredibly tense because ICs were viewed with incredible disdain by Management (most of whom are rich Ivy/Top School graduates) but has only gotten worse with automation and market uncertainty.
• Management’s official policy is to never promote Individual Contributors. A fresh grad (0YOE) can instantly become a supervisor but somehow an IC needed 8+ years of consistent excellent performance to be considered. Management can become Manager in as little as 2yoe out of Undergrad, whereas IC -> Manager is so rare I can count the Chicago Branch on two hands. And no, it’s not because ICs are not qualified/hardworking. Just imagine how hard it is to work at Amazon-pace for EIGHT YEARS just to be equal to a college brown-nose.
• Management’s unofficial policy is to avoid eye contact or saying hello to ICs unless the ICs initiated it. ICs were afraid to take more than one food/souvenir item during an open house event even though we had so much leftover. A manager even complained that other managers were making fun of ICs for work-place injuries (think Amazon warehouse-like injuries such as overexertion, nerve damage, wrist/knees/back issues.) Absolutely devoid of humanity.
• The company had been automating part of the Atlanta and Chicago warehouses. Managements assigned to be tour guides of these automated warehouses were told to lie say that no IC headcount reduction will occur. Obviously, there were a rise in suspicious performance evaluation after these were built. Also, I was one of the tour guides and were asked by multiple ICs where the observation cameras will be in the ceiling. The fact that multiple raised this seemingly-joking-yet-alarming question tells you just how much Management has trained ICs to become paranoid over time. If you’re a new-hire consultant at McM and feels related to this meme, just know you will be holding the mop to clean up and not the lightsaber.

Wonder is a new concept food hall which serves dishes from dozens of some of the most popular restaurants across the country such as Difara Pizza, Bobby Flay Steak, Streetbird by Marcus Samuelson, Tejas BBQ, etc. all in one place! Now you can order many items from different cuisines and restaurants all in one order! This new concept food hall trains their chefs to precisely cook all of these recipes and is specifically designed for localized delivery so that your food is always hot or you can order takeout. There are no fees for pickup.
They have 39 locations across Brooklyn, Manhattan as well as New Jersey. If your nearest Wonder location is out of their delivery area, you can simply just order pickup. Use this referral link to get $15 off your first 2 orders! After your first order, they will email you a very short survey asking how your order was and you get an additional $5 credit making your second order $20 off! It's like eating free twice! https://www.wonder.com/order?auto_applied_promo_code=JOHN412

Wonder is a new concept food hall which serves dishes from dozens of some of the most popular restaurants across the country such as Difara Pizza, Bobby Flay Steak, Streetbird by Marcus Samuelson, Tejas BBQ, etc. all in one place! Now you can order many items from different cuisines and restaurants all in one order! This new concept food hall trains their chefs to precisely cook all of these recipes and is specifically designed for localized delivery so that your food is always hot or you can order takeout. There are no fees for pickup.
They have 39 locations across Brooklyn, Manhattan as well as New Jersey. If your nearest Wonder location is out of their delivery area, you can simply just order pickup. Use this referral link to get $15 off your first 2 orders! After your first order, they will email you a very short survey asking how your order was and you get an additional $5 credit making your second order $20 off! It's like eating free twice! https://www.wonder.com/order?auto_applied_promo_code=JOHN412

I’ve been dealing with my mental health for the last couple of years and I’m just exhausted of not seeing any changes in my life. I’ve no girl friends to hand out with and do girl stuff. I’m always working or at home playing video games and I just think it’s time to start a new hobby and a reason to get out of the house and deal with my depression. I’m very shy and sometimes socially anxious but my local gym has a free training program and I figured might be a good starting point. What do you guys think?

Wonder is a new concept food hall which serves dishes from dozens of some of the most popular restaurants across the country such as Difara Pizza, Bobby Flay Steak, Streetbird by Marcus Samuelson, Tejas BBQ, etc. all in one place! Now you can order many items from different cuisines and restaurants all in one order! This new concept food hall trains their chefs to precisely cook all of these recipes and is specifically designed for localized delivery so that your food is always hot or you can order takeout. There are no fees for pickup.
They have 39 locations across Brooklyn, Manhattan as well as New Jersey. If your nearest Wonder location is out of their delivery area, you can simply just order pickup. Use this referral link to get $15 off your first 2 orders! After your first order, they will email you a very short survey asking how your order was and you get an additional $5 credit making your second order $20 off! It's like eating free twice! https://www.wonder.com/order?auto_applied_promo_code=JOHN412

Wonder is a new concept food hall which serves dishes from dozens of some of the most popular restaurants across the country such as Difara Pizza, Bobby Flay Steak, Streetbird by Marcus Samuelson, Tejas BBQ, etc. all in one place! Now you can order many items from different cuisines and restaurants all in one order! This new concept food hall trains their chefs to precisely cook all of these recipes and is specifically designed for localized delivery so that your food is always hot or you can order takeout. There are no fees for pickup.
They have 39 locations across Brooklyn, Manhattan as well as New Jersey. If your nearest Wonder location is out of their delivery area, you can simply just order pickup. Use this referral link to get $15 off your first 2 orders! After your first order, they will email you a very short survey asking how your order was and you get an additional $5 credit making your second order $20 off! It's like eating free twice! https://www.wonder.com/order?auto_applied_promo_code=JOHN412

I’ve been dealing with my mental health for the last couple of years and I’m just exhausted of not seeing any changes in my life. I’ve no girl friends to hand out with and do girl stuff. I’m always working or at home playing video games and I just think it’s time to start a new hobby and a reason to get out of the house. I’m very shy but my local gym has a free training program and I figured might be a good starting point. What do you guys think?

• A new Creed is born: experience the intertwined stories of Naoe, a skilled shinobi Assassin from Iga Province, and Yasuke, the legendary and mighty real-life African samurai. Against the backdrop of the eventful late Sengoku period, these two formidable warriors will discover they have a common destiny and will help usher in a new era of Japan.
  
• Explore feudal Japan: discover the vast territories of fascinating feudal Japan and discover the wonderful castle cities, thriving ports, silent shrines and the most fascinating landscapes. Face unpredictable weather conditions, observe the passage of the seasons and move in lively and vibrant environments.
  
• Become a Shinobi Assassin: as the irreverent, agile and stealthy shinobi Naoe, use noises, lights and shadows to confuse enemies and harness the environment to your advantage. Distract guards using kunai, shuriken, and smoke bombs, infiltrate enemy bases by taking advantage of the crampon and your acrobatic running skills, then assassinate your goals with the hidden blade.
  
• Become a legendary Samurai: as the charismatic samurai Yasuke, hit opponents with lethal power and precision. Use his combat-driven abilities to attack your enemies, parade, or repel their attacks, so as to defeat them. Learn to master a vast arsenal of weapons at your disposal (such as katana, kanabō, bows, naginata and much more) and free Japan from its oppressors.
  
• Informations are your weapon: travel the world, explore and scour your surroundings to get valuable information. Create your own network of spies to have eyes and ears everywhere and to discover new areas or the location of your targets. Along the way, you'll be able to recruit new allies and leverage their unique abilities to complete your missions.
  
• Play as you want: you will be the one to choose whether to play as a shinobi or a samurai. Master the complementary combat styles of two very complex protagonists and tackle each mission with the character you prefer: each will have progress, attributes, equipment and exclusive talents.
  

Then, there’s little information on Naoe’s story:

• After training in Iga Province as a shinobi assassin, Naoe embarks on a journey across Japan seeking revenge and trying to keep an impossible promise.

This week I started working in a "luxury nursing home" that is currently on a provensional license by the state. Im in Pennsylvania. Im an activities staff trying to hopefully switch over to be a caregiver while I'm in school. This entire place is chaotic. It's corporate ran with no organization or real training. They have no low staff and patient ratios. A lot of patients need to one to ones. I worked in a nursing home while college, I mainly have uncertified experience. My first job I had at least a month of training before I was even by myself. This place, I started at the same time as a caregiver and she has not been trained at all. Just thrown into the dementia floor. Also during my first week, they had a state visit due a complaint. My co worker quit my third day so I've been solo while trying to juggle two units. I have never in all my work experience seen a chaotic facility. I can definitely tell that they're choosing profit over giving these proper care.

The title is a bit misleading. It's been a few months since this happened. You may be asking, why did you wait until May to post it? Well, what I did was pretty fucked up. I'll start on the day it happened.
My ex-girlfriend, let's call her S, had asked me to come visit her at her school in NYC. She goes to a great school in the City and, me, being a 16-year-old boy in love, decided, "hmm, let me ask my parents." Now I live in the Hudson Valley here in New York. It's not like getting to the City is a tall task at all. It would have been way simpler if my parents had let me. My mom conferred with a NYPD Officer in that location and came to the conclusion that her school wasn't in a safe neighborhood and didn't want me to go.
Anyway, a few weeks go by. I'm sitting down, and once again, S (who is 15) is pestering me about coming to her school. I want to say that the ex I had before her was extremely abusive. I was scared of breaking up. In an effort to make S happy, I said "I'll get over there as soon as I can." Well that was a major mistake, because for days, S pesters me requesting me to go. One cold Thursday afternoon, I said "fuck it." I told my mother I would be at extra help for my film class to finish filming (which I really did do, just not that day), turned off my tracking app, and walked my ass all the way across the bridge to the Tarrytown Metro-North Station.
Now here's where things get a little stupid. It took me an hour to cross the bridge. My school lets out at 2:15 and I had been at the station at 4. If you know anything about the MTA and Metro-North (and LIRR), there is Peak and Off-Peak fares. So obviously, I didn't come equipped with any money to pay the fare. I stupidly boarded the train, but fortunately for my dumbass, I met a very kind conductor, who was willing to let me travel for free, after I told him the whole story. He printed out a ticket, and I got out in Spuyten Duyvil, which is a neighborhood in the Bronx. Now, this in itself was a stupid choice. If I was really planning on making it to her school, I should have travelled further south to Harlem-152nd or Marble Hill. Anyway, it doesn't matter. I walked out of the station, and about 5 minutes into my walk, I looked around and saw some buildings.
It was PITCH. BLACK. outside. The only light were the street lights. I ended up on Broadway, not the Manhattan one, and thought I would glance at my phone. Well, boy, would you look at that. I'm at 5% battery! So I say, "you know what, fuck it!" I run my tiny ass back to Spuyten Duyvil Station, and board the next train back up North. The conductor is obviously pissed that I didn't have a ticket. This train terminated in Irvington, which meant I needed a last leg to get to Tarrytown.
On the train going to Tarrytown, the conductor did what nobody else did, and asked to scan my Learner's Permit. This stupidly included my address, phone, everything. I got off at Tarrytown, and boarded HudsonLink. The bus operator let me pay a reduced price. My mom calls me as I'm disembarking in my town, and she's furious. Obviously, I'm not at school right now. And obviously, I didn't take the Late Bus. I had my mom go pick me up from the town next to mine, and my only excuse was that I took the Late Bus and it dropped me off in the wrong spot.
My parents fell for it until 3 months later, when my dad goes marching up the stairs into my room, with a bill from Metro-North. The bill essentially read that I skipped a Peak fare. I tried to make up some bullshit, and say I boarded it and got off, but clearly, that's impossible because they wouldn't charge that fast. So my dad calls Metro North and made me pay for it. It was $11.75 because it was a Peak Hudson Fare.
Me and my ex have been broken up for a while now. I held off on posting this because I wanted to see if anything else would come from it, but it hasn't. If I get updates of any future bills, I'll be sure to update. Thank you for reading :), and don't put your life on the line for a girl who doesn't give a shit, it's not worth it.
TL;DR: A few months ago, I did something pretty reckless. My ex-girlfriend, S, asked me to visit her school in NYC. Despite my parents' concerns about the neighborhood, I decided to go without their permission. I lied to my mom, turned off my tracking app, and walked to the Tarrytown Metro-North Station. With no money for the fare, a kind conductor let me travel for free. I got off at Spuyten Duyvil in the Bronx but quickly realized I was lost and had a nearly dead phone battery. I rushed back to the station and headed home. Another conductor scanned my Learner's Permit, which led to a bill being sent to my house. My parents eventually found out when the bill arrived, and I had to pay $11.75 for the Peak fare. S and I have since broken up, and I learned not to risk so much for someone who doesn’t care.

I'm sure most of Chicago/Booth/Kellogg have heard of this company by now, but they recently started recruiting consultants/MBA for their other branches (T25) so I make the post.
Quick Intro: McMaster-Carr is the Amazon of Industrial Supplies. They ship to the US Miltary, manufacturers, engineers, technicians, etc... Their customers are the engineers but the bills are paid by the Finance Dept hence as long as McM do a consistent good job delivering to the engineers, they can charge exorbitant amount (e.g $30 screw and $50 shipping; real example.)This is how they can pay entry managements with 0yoe $170k (bonus included, deferred saving excluded) and middle managers (3-10YOE) up to $300k.
Path/Exit: You will get a random rotation every 6-18 months. The rotation can be literally anything from Warehouse Operations Management Role to HR to Finance/Fraud. Management Trainee (0-18m depending on your background/initial performance). Supervisor (no pay raise as MT are expected to become Sup eventually; can be skipped if you have pre-MBA exp and did well in your initial performance.) ManageSeniorM (3-5yoe/5-8yoe; most people languished here until they decided to go all in or all out with McMaster.) After this come Regional ManageDirectoVP. You can leave at M/SM and might still be able to transition to a new careeindustry afterward. Otherwise, it's a tough sale. Even before the mid-2023 general market downturn, I knew Regional/Directors who took 1+ year just to switch to another industrial/industrial job. Not even an industry switch.
Their Targets: In the past, 95%+ of management came from straight out of Ivy/Top Liberal Arts undergrad. This breeds an incredibly toxic environment since many of them are not mature/don't have leadership experience (the cream of the crop don't consider McMaster) and it's a case of the blinds leading the blinds. McM had a purge of toxic leaders back in mid-2010s but this problem returned. Since then, they have tried to recruit a few more consultants rather than depending solely on fresh grads. This recruiting effort has and continued to go miserably. Despite mass reach-out effort every single year, they only got some ex-B4 (1 Parthenon but the rest is regular B4), but they couldn't get anyone from T2 or MBB.
Nature of the work: (Micro)managing individual contributors and troubleshooting outdated issues (that are only found in 40yo+ warehouses) if you get a warehouse rotation. McM tries to sell you on these, but from my post-McM job interviews as well as McM managers' outcomes, these skills are worthless. For once, the ICs get paid quite well so they work very hard. Management, in an attempt to justify their outrageous salary, tries to micromanage all the time even when outclassed by 20+ years of knowledge. IC vs Management issue will be further discussed in the Cons section. Another issue is that managing blue-collar is no way the same as managing white-collar so most hiring managers don't really care for this exp. The company doesn't really do marketing, M&A, or new market (it took them 30+ years to just now opening a new branch in Texas because McM's tech couldn't handle having 6 warehouses instead of 5.) I'm not kidding. They passed on growth opportunity for 30+ years because they didn't want to change... Also because the company doesn't do marketing, they are not good at customer behavior analytics, resulting in their website redesign that took 2+ years to get scraped ater 1 week due to customer complaints.)
Pro:
• Their pay. McM has a 2.9 Glassdoor rating despite having a 4.6 rating in Compensation and Benefits. Pay include:

 •Base (0yoe: ~115k; ~$10k for each add year; ~$160k for Manager) •Profit Sharing (average 50%+ of base; lowest was ~33% in 2008 & 45% in 2020; 2022 was ~50%+ and 2023 was ~60%) •Deferred Saving (25% of Base&PS. Vest schedule 0%/20%/40%/60%/80%/100% over 6 years.) 

• Their Education tuition policy: After the first 3 months, You can take any part-time program (e.g PT-MBA, PT-MS, PT-MA) or Certificate completely free, doesn’t have to be work-related, and no string attached. You can literally leave after they paid for your tuition and can still finish your course.
Cons: Glassdoor Reviews:
• There’s another purge/headcount reduction going on right now. A tidbit is that management above your level can see the performance review of everyone below them. This contributes to how much drama, backstabbing, and rumors float internally. Recently, an ex-Trainee even wrote a long post calling out his spineless manager and backstabbing coworkers in a GroupMe with 100+ members of management. The manager left soon after. The ex-MT even told McMaster to blacklist his undergrad for recruiting. Absolute legend.
• The operations and tech stack are very constrained and not replicable. The company uses 80s IBM Tech for CRM/ERP so unless you’re working on a Website-related project (which you can sometimes use Python/SQL), you will be writing outdated queries to pull data. McM also doesn’t use Powerpoint so you will have to learn Adobe Indesign. The company’s warehouses themselves have a ton of makeshifts and outdated stuff. If you get a warehouse assignment, you will be putting out fires arose from issues not addressed by the original warehouse design. If you think you will be value-add to a company like Amazon after your McMaster’s experience, you are wrong. Amazon warehouses are built in the early/mid 2010s and have about 30 years of new automation/technology integrated to them. McM is still tinkering with their first automated warehouse. Experience putting out fixed/nonexistent issues is worthless.
• This company hire fake review writers. You will notice the positive reviews are all generic and one line whereas the negative reviews (from both Managements and ICs) are all super long and super informative. You will also notice that there’s no longer a “Most Helpful” sort on Glassdoor. This is because all the negative reviews get liked so much. Now it’s just “Most Popular” which is just fake reviews with 0 like/dislike.
• Relationships between Management and Individual Contributors are more fraught than ever. The situation has always been incredibly tense because ICs were viewed with incredible disdain by Management (most of whom are rich Ivy/Top School graduates) but has only gotten worse with automation and market uncertainty.
• Management’s official policy is to never promote Individual Contributors. A fresh grad (0YOE) can instantly become a supervisor but somehow an IC needed 8+ years of consistent excellent performance to be considered. Management can become Manager in as little as 2yoe out of Undergrad, whereas IC -> Manager is so rare I can count the Chicago Branch on two hands. And no, it’s not because ICs are not qualified/hardworking. Just imagine how hard it is to work at Amazon-pace for EIGHT YEARS just to be equal to a college brown-nose.
• Management’s unofficial policy is to avoid eye contact or saying hello to ICs unless the ICs initiated it. ICs were afraid to take more than one food/souvenir item during an open house event even though we had so much leftover. A manager even complained that other managers were making fun of ICs for work-place injuries (think Amazon warehouse-like injuries such as overexertion, nerve damage, wrist/knees/back issues.) Absolutely devoid of humanity.
• The company had been automating part of the Atlanta and Chicago warehouses. Managements assigned to be tour guides of these automated warehouses were told to lie say that no IC headcount reduction will occur. Obviously, there were a rise in suspicious performance evaluation after these were built. Also, I was one of the tour guides and were asked by multiple ICs where the observation cameras will be in the ceiling. The fact that multiple raised this seemingly-joking-yet-alarming question tells you just how much Management has trained ICs to become paranoid over time. If you’re a new-hire consultant and feels related to this meme, just know you will be holding the mop to clean up and not the lightsaber.

I'm currently 42 years and I'm considering joining the local carpentry union because they are offering a free apprenticeship. I've worked for a few companies in the past and have experience using most power tools and basic understanding of the theory of construction. I worked for a few really bad non union construction companies in the past that turned me off from the trades but I'm really considering getting back into it due to having experience but not for non union company.
I went to an event at the local carpentry/millwright union hall this weekend. It was basically a laborer test. Move these things here then back, carry this there back and move a couple sheets of 5/8 osb plywood. Then drive a few framing nails into a 4x4 and run 5 dry screws into a sheet of drywall. The last part was scribe a line onto a sheet of drywall. The instructor was trying to show me how to do this left handed even though I'm right handed. It felt weird to do so I did it the way that felt right lol. But I did it to the correct measurement so who cares I guess. Last spot was run a couple 2 inch bolts into a 90° piece of metal and tighten then with a open ended wrench and deep well socket wrench. Over all it was very easy.
After I was finished I had 3 come up to me to talk about jobs. They all told me I should join the apprenticeship so they can hire me as they only hire union workers. When I asked about my prior experience they ask said they could work with me to move me along quicker. I'm not sure what that meant but it seemed like having me do the job of normal carpenters. I'm not sure if my pay would be that of the apprentice or not.
While I know how to do some things, I don't know how to do others as well. I'm worried if I don't go through the apprenticeship I won't be properly trained and will lack knowledge. But with my age I'm concerned with not being able to work so I can earn the pension. I'm a strong and fit guy so I'm not too worried any my body giving out on me anytime soon but would appreciate some insight from others.

Hi everyone!. I AM studying for data engineer certification for Amazon. Is it possible to get an free account o creditos for train with hands on?. Thanks in avance!