Label the parts of a fish

The Best Type Of Fishing

2011.01.14 20:52 iPeeOnPeons The Best Type Of Fishing

Ice fishing is the practice of catching fish with lines and fish hooks through an opening in the ice on a frozen body of water.
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2008.12.20 16:40 r/Fish Nature & Wildlife

This subreddit is dedicated to the 33,600 species of fish from all across our planet.
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2008.11.10 20:27 flyfishing

This is a subreddit for anglers who pursue, or wish to pursue, their favorite fish with fly tackle. Whether you throw a 2-weight on bluelines for brook trout or a double-hander for steelhead or chase tarpon with a 12-weight, your contributions and questions will be welcomed and appreciated!
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2024.05.19 16:12 ThrowRA_That_Owl Need some help on my situation (42M) & (33F). How to rekindle love if at all possible?

Hello all,
I am looking for some collective advice, support, and wisdom. My apologies ahead, I can't always be precise and succinct. I'll try to keep it as brief as possible.
I (42M), she is (33F), been with my wife for over 10 years, dated for 2. Have an 11 year old. Always had issue with her depression as she was a stay home mom for many years and I think the routine got to her. We used to yell at each other a lot, the kid also picked this up later in life. This is a toxic environment, imo. She also frequently projects one or two similar events onto many, completely cutting me off from the decision-making, because she thinks my response/reaction to one event will be the same for all of them. Then blames me for what may occur at the many events rather than 1 or 2 initial once.
Last 4 years were especially tumultuous with her going to work and me looking after our 11 yo. This was the beginning of the end, I think.
I got fed up at the beginning of this year and proposed a divorce and said I would leave in the next few months after. We've been all up in arms with each other since then, mostly me being extremely angry with the situation that I didn't know how to fix but this was my like 1000th time proposing a divorce and now it was very serious. I got some good advice since then.
Recently found out my wife has been having an affair since March with some guy she met August-September but according to her haven't spoken much (I believe it) until February. Things escalated quickly after I proposed the divorce. She quickly started a process of adapting to me not being there. I guess she just couldn't stand the idea of being alone after I left but I did not. I cooled down and in April proposed to reconcile. She was stunned. She didn't think it was possible. Doesn't know what to do about the affair after I confronted her about it. It took me a great amount of skill to fish the information out of her as she wasn't forthcoming with it and was lying through her teeth. The whole thing is extremely draining on me. I am not sleeping much these days and always stay up late just so I don't have to go to bed with the negative thoughts circulating in my brain like a swarm of bees. I don't have much of a support group either.
Here is the icky part, she does not mind an attempt at reconciling even though she is angry with me that it took me so long to cool off as it looks like I pushed her into an affair (I am definitely partially responsible for this). Looks like she is willing to put this affair behind her but I know for a fact that she won't sever the contact until she is sure that I will change my way about her. Also, says the "big" love she had for me has gone after she thought I was leaving her even though she acted jealously when I got a telemarketing call that hung up on me without saying anything. Also says she doesnt know if she could forgive me for neglecting her over the years (which is largely true. I got too comfortable). I assume the part about love is her telling me about how her unconditional partner relationship for me is gone. And the part about forgiving the neglect is the part about accepting me in the family for the sole reason of helping her raise our child (or any physical help around the house)? It looks like in a sense she broke down our relationship into two parts, where one are feelings and the other is any physical support around the house. I am extremely uncomfortable by this. I will not be able to stay with her just to have this inorganic relationship of convenience to help her. I will just go nuts and so I'd rather avoid this if I can help it.
I want to give this relationship one last serious effort to put some good advice I got to use, fix my mistakes and never make them again. Help her with her issues as much as I can because I want to keep her. What would be the best and fastest ways to rekindle her feeling of love for me and reassure her that I am the same man she fell in love over 10 years ago.
I'd welcome any other suggestions. Maybe I am not seeing something I need to see. I am sure someone somewhere experienced situation similar to mine and can give me an invaluable advice.
P.S. I will be posting updates and clarifications as I get responses.
submitted by ThrowRA_That_Owl to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 16:04 kurtpvt16 Walleye softbait

Zone 17 here, walleye been open a couple weeks now. Looking to fish Bobcaygeon area had some success past years hitting walleye in deep parts of the channel off pigeon lake in town. Not a big fan of using live bait, what are some good options for soft baits other than jigging fake minnow in deep parts after dusk?
submitted by kurtpvt16 to FishingOntario [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 16:00 BrodogIsMyName Frontier Fantasy - Chap 39

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Edited by WaveOfWire
- - - - -
Two days… It had been two days that Tracy had gone to sleep while Harrison was working, only to come back in the morning to see him still in the workshop. She knew he was damn productive, sure, but that really couldn’t be healthy. Apparently, it had something to do with the weird bowl of orange… soup… that Cera gave him. No way was it just caffeine; any amount of the stuff would have been filtered out of his system by now. He mentioned a tingling feeling too…
Damn, she did not know enough about drugs to even start assuming what that massive alien had Harrison fucked up on. At least the scanner said he was ‘fine’—if you ignore the other glaring issues the machine brought up. Plus, he said he didn’t mind it. Either way, he managed to complete the weaving component and a few other electrical backbones of the fabricator last night, so the project was practically done, and after seeing the engineer work himself half to death, she was dead-set on finishing it.
She was currently tits-deep into the upper manufacturing portion of the towering machine. It took a tall step-stool—on top of the nearby desk—for her to push her small shoulders through the even smaller access panels high on the everything-printer. It was difficult to fit her torso in, but she managed, holding a flashlight between her teeth as she fiddled with a stubborn series of mechanical ‘hands.’ Nothing new. The situation reminded her of the ‘shop back on Mars; it had the same ever-present scent of copper and industrial sealant. All that was missing was her dad’s ancient tunes blasting through some shitty speakers… Hold on…
The modular component in her grip was successfully attached with a resonating thock. Tracy squirmed out of the dim wire-filled crevice, trying her best to not rip her only tank-top on any bolts or corners, and getting a face-full of the bright flood-lights illuminating the workshop. She scowled and blocked out the searing light with a hand, but she was a bit too late to avoid going half-blind.
“Are the mechanical manipulators in?” Harrison grunted, poking his head out underneath the printer’s floor-adjacent maintenance hatch. She looked down at him as she tried to blink off the spots in her vision. His hair was messy, barely kept in line by his habit of combing through it with his fingers. The areas around his eyes were dark and sunken… Guess that’s what two all-nighters did to a man. He’d be seeing the hat man or start hallucinating if he didn’t get any sleep soon… but then again, the two of them were so close to finishing the fabricator…
“You bet.” She gave him a thumbs up, slamming the panel cover closed. “Feel free to test it.”
He nodded and slid back underneath the machine. “Gotcha”
She gently stepped off the stool and slid off the side of the desk, stretching herself out. If her piss-poor sitting posture or her tank-top puppies hadn’t already fucked her spine up, bending over backward to build this fabricator sure as hell would. She sat down next to the panel where Harrison resided, resting her back against the fabrication tower. Her excited voice broke the muffled noises of the engineer’s work. “So… Harrison?”
“Hmm—”
—Mind if I play some music?”
The sounds from the hatch stopped, followed by his muffled, shocked tone echoing from beneath the fabricator. “You have music!?”
She smirked at seeing the expression on his face when his head popped out again. “I sure do… Did you seriously not download any to your data pad?”
He slipped out from beneath the fabricator fully, huffing as he took a knee beside her. The scent of melded rubber, wire, and his liquid labor reached her nose not-so-unpleasantly. “You would not believe how much of a pain it is to repair an entire barracks without it… So, yeah, I didn’t.”
“Sooooooooo, whatcha wanna listen to? I’ve got almost everything on here—besides the super niche, of course.” She pulled her data pad out, swiping to the massive music folder
“You wouldn’t like the kinda music I listen to; It’s ancient.”
She gave him a lighthearted, annoyed glare. “Welcome to the club… Now what’ll it be?”
“It’s Old Earth kind of ancient… but alright” He looked up at the ceiling in thought, lips pursed. “Do you have anything from Styx or Sweet?”
She stared at him incredulously, her smirk turning into a fully-fledged smile. “Oh my God. You are an absolute dork! You actually listen to Golden Age music?”
His brows raised, accusatory. “And you somehow know exactly who those bands were and what age of Old Earth music they came from?”
She smugly leaned in closer. “That’s because I’m just as much of a nerd with that kinda music as you apparently are.” She quickly looked upward, addressing the workshop AI. “Sebas, connect nearby speakers to my data pad’s audio.” Tracy elbowed the engineer lightly as the PA system chirped its affirmation. “Now, Mr. Golden Age music, which albums do ya want me to queue up?”
- - - - -
The two of them listened to music for hours, tossing on songs they liked as they came to mind while they worked. Harrison had a ton of recommendations that spanned all over the Golden Ages and some twenty-first century classics. She didn’t even know half of them, but she was vibing either way, adding on her own taste by intermingling some older rock tracks and newer electronic beats. The playlist was steadily built up as the day went on. Thank God her dad showed her a vast array of tunes; she might not have been able to keep up with the engineer if her old man hadn't.
It made the work go by so fast, their conversations blurring as they jumped from topic to topic. They discussed whatever came to mind—old hobbies, old jobs, and old interests. A lot was left behind in Sol… At least she knew that the only other human on the planet was more interesting than a soulless workaholic. It turned out that he was a pretty big history buff, and he apparently read a lot about the colonization of the Sol system and the various wars of independence thereafter. Curious, she asked where the interest stemmed from, and he explained that his grandfather was an admiral in the Slavic-Europan deep-ice submarine fleet, which explained how Harrison’s mother was able to afford to immigrate to Mars from Europa.
He could also play an acoustic guitar, and, unfortunately for Tracy, he wasn’t even the slightest bit interested in printing one out, citing that it was a waste of time and material that would be better used elsewhere. That didn’t stop her from writing a note on her data pad to do so later, though. She hadn’t seen someone play one of those in years—the last time was probably in some old music video from the early twenty-second century. What a shame. She would have liked to hear some of the Europan songs his grandmother taught him.
On the bright side, the man seemed to take an interest in her odd hobbies. He brought up the folder of 3D models that she accidentally uploaded to the inter-module system and asked where she got the inspiration for what was in it. Boy, was he not ready for her ‘WarHalberd40k’ lore dump. Props to the guy for not standing up and leaving the workshop throughout her rambling. He even asked questions about the different factions and their weapons, which she was more than happy to talk about.
She also ended up going over the other franchises and hobbies she was interested in, such as robotics and the like. The only interruptions to their chat were the occasional Akula or Craftsman asking for insight regarding the various tasks he had allotted to them, or Shar coming in to check up on Harrison between guard shifts.
The new dynamic of the group was pretty interesting, to say the least. Tracy hadn’t been out to interact with the whole lot of Malkrin, but she definitely noticed how they treated the engineer. They’d started to look up to him in a way ever since he started showing off technology. In a little over two days, the man had shown them that he could provide the materials for a brick house, fine clothing—especially by the alien’s standards—armor, and delicious food. That wasn’t even mentioning the other benefits the technician heard a few of the ‘banished’ talking about over their meals: heating, electric lights, and other assorted machines.
She’d be feeling pretty happy about herself if she was in his position, having so many look up to him and be grateful at the same time. He seemed to view it a lot more robotically, however, only striving to get the basics done. Luckily for him, his basics were their luxury.
That wasn’t all there was to the topic; the engineer lamented about how the colony was going through food just as quickly as materials. The meals weren’t the direct issue he had, more that he had to start focusing on long-term resource harvesting rather than directly preparing for a literal horde of monsters—which wasn’t exactly ideal. It was a good thing that they just so happened to take on an influx of Malkrin then…
Either way, they finally finished the ‘totally legal modification’ for the fabricator, meaning they could at least partially address the latter half of his worries. The whole process of ripping out an old printer and replacing the parts for a new one felt a lot easier than she imagined… even if it took her at least forty-eight hours to complete it… with help from Harrison. Maybe that was why it felt so easy… She supposed the colony overseers didn’t choose the man for no reason, so his skills made sense.
“So… what do we want to print out first?” Tracy questioned, having finished testing the last major component.
The engineer stretched his arms up into the air and rotated his shoulders, then pulled back the desk’s chair and took a seat. “I’ve had just one thing in mind since the start of this whole project.”
Her brows raised in a mix of excitement and curiosity. She leaned forward, looking at the computer monitor from over his shoulder. “Oh? What’s that, then?”
A smirk formed along his cheek, the computer mouse rapidly clicking through the blueprint folder. “I’ve had a lot of time to think about what kind of firearm we need since I started dabbling in belt-fed weapon systems.” He opened one final file, a short loading bar preceding the exploded assembly view of… “An M2 Browning machine gun. It’s more than powerful enough to kill in one shot, while also being capable of fully-automatic fire, with a capacity of however many rounds we want in a belt-box.”
“Uh…huh…” She gave a skeptical nod and took a step back, not exactly sold on the idea. “It looks ancient. It’s kinetic, right? Why aren’t we using energy-based weapons? Don’t we have a gunpowder shortage coming up?”
He moved his chair off to the side to look back at her. “We just can’t; Simple as. We’ll need who knows how many more AI cores before we can get started on that level of equipment, Trace,” he huffed, returning his gaze to the specifications of the firearm. “This isn’t the most ‘modern’ weapon we can make, but its twenty-first century counterpart helps with an improved design… somewhat. And, as I said before, it should be more than capable of killing a bug in one shot, so Shar can just tap-fire it to save ammunition.”
Her head tilted quizzically. “Shar?”
“Yup,” he returned confidently. “It’s the perfect weapon for her.”
She raised a brow. “How so?”
He held his hand up, counting his reasons on his fingers. “She’s always on the front line with a shield, she can absolutely handle the weight and recoil, her four arms make reloading it simple, plus she’ll need something with range and power that isn’t a spear. So, why not? And, if for some reason, she doesn’t want to use it, we can just convert it into a turret—which is something I was planning on doing anyways with however more M2s we print out later.”
“I doubt she’ll say no to any gun you give her,” Tracy chuckled while shaking her head, inadvertently causing her bangs to cover her eyes.
“Fair enough,” he conceded with a bob of his head. “What do you think, then? What kinda weapons do you have in mind?”
She reapplied her goggles into an impromptu hairband, feeling a smirk cross her face. “Thought you’d never ask. What purpose do we need these guns to fulfill? Hordes I’m guessing?”
“That’s the idea, yeah. That doesn’t mean they all need to be machine guns, though.” He tapped the belt-fed shotgun beside him.
“Well, lemme see what we’re working with first.” She suddenly stepped forward, leaning over Harrison’s seat to access the keyboard and mouse. Her arms briefly rubbed against him, forcing him to roll his chair backward. She suppressed a giggle at seeing his incredulous frown.
Her eyes quickly traced the hundreds of individual files, clicking through all sorts of folders, each arranged from pre-twenty-first century ‘antiques,’ to more modern iterations of kinetics and particle weaponry. There was… a lot on there—almost too much to reasonably comb through. Why? Did the colony overseers just say ‘fuck it’ and put whatever they could find on here? Were they expecting the pioneers to make a museum of everything?
She sighed, standing up straight and facing Harrison. “Y’know, I’m actually impressed you managed to find that M2-whatever in there…”
He shifted in his seat, resting an elbow on the desk. “Yup, there’s a lot. I’m almost tempted to just make several of those machine guns and just call it a day, but I feel like that’d be too much of a strain on resources, no?”
“I don’t really know enough about how you fight those spider-crab things, or how to get more gunpowder, so… maybe?” She shrugged, biting her cheek in contemplation. “You might just wanna make a few smaller caliber weapons… like, uh… those old kinetic service rifles. If your pump-action shotgun works fine, I’m sure some normal guns would work just fine for now, right?”
He hardily gripped his firearm, hauling it up to his lap. “Depends on what you mean by ‘smaller caliber.’ The whole reason why the KS-23 here works—” he pulled out a massive shell from the ammo belt, displaying it on his palm. “—is because the twenty-three-millimeter round has enough energy transfer to mess up any bug's shell and insides. I’d say the smallest rounds we could use would be point-two-forty-three caliber to get any similar results.”
Brief flickers of grungy orange shells and gnashing teeth marred Tracy’s sight. She forcibly suppressed them, distracting herself with dry humor and a strained laugh. “Guess those fuckers can really take a punch, huh?”
He shook his head somberly. “I couldn’t imagine going up against them without a gun… Anyway, I like your idea of a standard rifle for now. Then, when we have some product lines up, we can go a little more in depth into personal weapons.”
“So are you gonna take one?” She hopped up on the desk, letting her legs swing off the side.
“Don’t think so, no. I’ll stick with my shotty.” The internals of the heavily modified weapon rattled as he held it up and inspected it. “Doesn’t mean I’ll keep it as is. I’m thinking of printing a laser aiming module so I can point-fire it accurately, and maybe a melee-oriented muzzle brake or a lighter chassis to reduce weight… Not sure though.”
She leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees, her cheeks in her palms. “Melee-oriented? Oooooh, like a chain-sword or something?”
His short chuckle coerced a smirk to her face. “No, not like that. More something to use as a bludgeoning tool. Right before the blood-moon, I ended up getting just as much use out of this shotgun as a hammer than as a… well, a shotgun.”
“That’s pretty fuckin’ metal. So are you just gonna make the barrel into a giant bayonet?”
He nodded. “Not exactly a bayonet, but something more like a door-breaching break.”
A short silence settled on their conversation, the faint sounds of the fabricator’s hum and distant woodwork coming to light. Right, there was an outside world… She’d been too caught up talking to Harrison for however many hours it had been. She wondered how successful the fisherwomen were in collecting, and how things had been for the others working on the wood storage shack. Maybe it was already completed? The sun peered through the cargo bay door, proving that it was only about midday. What else would they work on today?
“Hey,” she ventured.
“Hm?” the engineer hummed, his eyes focused on the monitor beside the technician.
She scooted closer to his keyboard. “What’re we doing after this?”
“What do you mean?”
She leaned backward, propping herself up on two hands. “Project wise; what’s the next big thing?”
“Uhmmm…” he muttered, interacting with the computer for a few more seconds before finally meeting her gaze. “Well, I’ve just allocated the fabricator to print out the M2, three FALs—wood furniture, of course—then there’s the magazines and ammunition, so we’ve got a lot of time to kill. The next big thing is definitely going to be metal procurement, and— Oh, right!” Harrison stopped mid-sentence, reaching into his backpack and pulling out several finger-sized metallic cubes, a sudden fire in his eyes. “Okay, so a while ago, during an encounter with three colossi, Shar and Akula found a cave with some ‘surface’ metal deposits. I took a piece off to analyze, but never got the chance to until last night. Anyway, we don’t have any machines to examine the ore, so I made use of the recycler and broke it down to its baser components.”
She nodded along, seeing where he was going with his explanation. “I’m guessing those shiny cubes are the metals from the ore?”
“Sure is. So, as it turns out, we have a pretty damn close supply of not only iron, but also, zinc, sulfur, and a small amount of cadmium. I talked with Sebas about it and did a little research. We believe it’s something akin to sphalerite, given its composition and looks, which implies it’s a sedimentary exhalative deposit. That means there must have been some volcanic…”
Harrison continued talking about underwater deposits and ancient rock formations, bringing up some theories brought forward by the now 4-AI-core-powered Sebas, delving into the current land mass’ history and possible ore output. A lot of it went over the tradewoman’s head, but she still listened intently… Honestly, she could have listened to the man talk about finding metals for hours. It was sort of like the podcasts she used to listen to while completing colonist training, but even more personal and somehow easier to get lost in…
“…find some other minerals further down like silver, but it also might be an active lava zone. Again, these are all theories and this world could just throw the fundamentals of geology away as it does for physics. Anyway, sorry for going on for so long about that, just thought it’d be important for getting some metals in the future.”
“No, no,” Tracy assured, alleviating him of concern with a wave of her hand. “If there’s anything the colony overseers emphasized, it was farming and mineral acquisition. Don’t worry.” She smiled, pointing a thumb to herself. “I just wanna know how I can help.”
“Actually, I’ve a few things only you can do. I’d like to make use of your impressive drone-making expertise for a few applications, if you don’t mind.”
The task of keeping eye contact slipped into an impossible feat in the span of a singular second, planting a pang of embarrassment on her reddened face, forcing her to inspect her fidgeting hands. “I-I wouldn’t say ‘impressive’… b-but what do you have in mind?”
She could see him raise a brow out of the corner of her vision. “Well, after what you’ve shown me with the reconnaissance flyers, I’d like your help in setting up a more permanent ‘net’ of them to scour the meadow and parts of the nearby forest to look out for any approaching hordes. I don’t want to be snuck up on… again…”
‘Again.’
She noted his small frown and sunken eyes, both a little more exaggerated than they already were. It wasn’t like she’d deny his request, but the pangs of empathy over their shared situation all but solidified her resolve. It was the least she could do. She could help him. She would help him.
The technician exhaled slowly, taking on a more serious and understanding tone than before. “I… can do that. For sure. What else?”
“I appreciate it.” He gave a wane smile. “I’ll help you with whatever you need for the project. For the other drones, I’m thinking about a small exploration vehicle to map out caves around us and mark any minerals, as well as a submersible to look for potassium deposits in the ocean.”
“So… search bots?” She crossed her arms, confidence growing; those were her specialty. “Depending on how long the fabricators take and what kind of base drones are in the blueprint folders, I should be able to get those done in no time. All I need to know are the search cues for potassium and how many drones you want.”
He quickly shuffled a few folders on the computer, turning the monitor for her to see some scientific documents with various images and walls upon walls of text. “There’re plenty of resources for that on here for what to look for, and there’s always Sebas, so feel free to ask him since he can just sort through the data for you anyway. If you can, I’d like it if you could focus on the submersible after the reconnaissance drones.”
“Sounds good to me. I’ll be right on it, then.” She gave him a thumbs up, slipping off his desk and toward her own.
“I’ll bring you lunch in a bit. Imma go check on the others,” he called.
Her stomach grumbled at the mention, her head turning to give him an appreciative smile. “Oh! Thanks!”
\= = = = =
Avian creatures chirped from their perches in the trees nearby. The wind softly rustled red leaves as grass gently gave way to calculated footfalls. A warm sun laid its light on Shar’khee’s neck. It was surprisingly pleasant, were one to take the time to notice. The mainland was a confusing place for the paladin, with its disparate representations of nature contrasting so heavily. Some days were filled with blood and ravenous beasts, while others were left within the domain of simplicity and beauty. She was content to have the latter, yet it felt like a facade veiling the former—a soft exterior covering the maliciously spiked interior. Never could she leave herself to carelessness, no matter how welcoming it might be.
Hence why she worked to ensure the safety of the star-sent’s castles and their inhabitants, her days largely spent patrolling for any roaming swarms that may wish to cause them harm. She typically used the routine to think, but today offered little in the way of solitude. This time, she was accompanied by the previously banished guardswoman, and was tasked with instructing the new one, though the specifics of what such lessons should entail were vague. Still, Shar’khee did all that she could so as not to disappoint Harrison, so she could only attempt to meet his expectations of her.
She told the yellow-skinned female of the threats that the settlement faced, how one was to defeat them, and what to expect from the beasts. The guardswoman was directed to practice her form with the spear in both thrusts and throwing for some time afterward, proving herself to be well-built. Such was expected of her profession after all.
It was pleasing to have another capable of patrolling the settlement’s outskirts for swarms, as it would greatly impact how effectively the colony could react to such a threat. If her routine was to suffer for the colony’s well-being, she was happy to show the new one her patrol route and note what to look out for.
The guardswoman was not a perfect student, however. Shar’khee never addressed it directly, but the yellow-skinned female obviously discredited the danger posed by the abhorrent, not-so-subtly shrugging off any warnings.
…That was until they stumbled upon the ‘hyena-boars,’ as Harrison called them.
The beasts resided in a clearing not too far from the castles, carelessly meandering across the sea of tall grass. Shar’khee quickly crouched, dragging the guardswoman down with her. Once she assessed that the creatures were not an imminent danger, she decided it would be an excellent opportunity to show the new one how to properly engage a threat. She was about to propose the idea, yet her speech was silenced just as swiftly.
Orange flashes darted through the trees around the glade. Taloned feet and gnashing teeth tore across the ground toward the unsuspecting beasts at the center. It was much too late for them. They were slow. Surrounded. Unaware. It was as quick as it was vicious, the forest’s reds turning a deeper crimson hue in a moment's notice underneath the abhorrent’s brutality.
Gangly monstrosities gnawed and ripped at the dead creatures, brief glimpses of raw flesh and white bone protruding from the small spaces between the clumped-up beasts. Repulsive wet splatters of blood and gore overlapped the calm noises of the forest, the grisly scene serenaded by the softest of nature’s symphonies. It was a sickening juxtaposition.
Shar’khee bit back the unease and steeled herself. They were within twenty paces—close enough to smell the abhorrent’s vile stench of rot and bile, yet far enough so as not to be noticed. She briefly considered backing away and retreating, her focus bouncing between the different avenues of escape, or how to cover her footst—
Crack.
Several sets of feral, eyeless maws snapped in their direction, the blood dripping off freshly dampened teeth. The guardswoman gasped, Shar’khee’s gaze following to see the mistake: a singular broken branch crinkled as a yellow-colored foot raised off the splintering twig.
The paladin exhaled sharply and smoothly stood up, brandishing two spears and her shield. Her glare settled on the still crouching guardswoman. “You are to stay behind my shield and let them appr—ch. Rem—ber what I have told you. Aim for their maws when you thrust y—r lance.”
The other female nodded, shakily pulling out her own weapons with unsteady placement hampering her grip. There was an obvious nervousness to her gaze. Hesitance. That would not do.
Shar’khee faced the prowling abhorrent her knuckles shifting hue as she prepared for their advance, for there was no chance that they wouldn’t. True to her experience, the stalking turned to a gallop with several clicks of grotesque tongues, the swarm bolting toward her as one. She snarled and slammed her bulwark into the ground, letting the approaching beasts skewer themselves amongst its spikes.
There were only ten—a paltry amount. She had defended against magnitudes more, and yet she still stood. What is more, they were mindless. Uncoordinated. They would be but stains in the cloth she used to clean her armor. Perhaps, if they were fortunate, they might leave a furrow in her shield to remember them by. Her arms tensed as the first leapt.
One by one, the abhorrent fell, their repulsive green blood splattering under her thrusts. Each awaiting corpse tore across the grove’s grass, lunging to their deaths with gaping maws and unfeeling hunger, yet she did not yield. Their shells were crushed by her shield and impaled by her Goddess-blessed spears, becoming but one more smear across their surface. Ten motionless lumps lay before her, seeping their ichor into the soil, none having passed the barrier she became. Dead, just as the Creator intended. She remained vigilant for a few moments longer, watching for any more of the disgusting creatures.
None showed themselves, finally allowing blood to flow to her fingers once again. The shield’s heavy presence weighed down her back, the blood flicked off of her spears before she returned them to their place.
“Are y–u well?” Shar’khee addressed the frozen Malkrin, wiping away the splatter on her bracers. The guardswoman stared at the small pile of deceased creatures, her heavy breaths and widened eyes moving from the spear from her singular kill. The paladin huffed. “We are fort—ate that there were so few.”
“F-Few? God help us…” Her horrified, stunned gaze slowly met the paladin’s. “Y-You said there were hundreds on the crimson nights? H-How do you… They were s-so fast.”*
”As I h–ve warned,” Shar’khee affirmed.
“You are a paladin! You all exaggerate your feats… I thought it was just a facade!”
“I have no r—son to lie,” she returned tersely, shrugging off the insult to her station and shaking her head. “The mainl—d is far more dangerous than ten gnash—g beasts; more so than that of your island hamlet. Pick yourself up. We m—t inform the others of this incursion.”
The yellow-skinned female snarled, furrowing her brows at the ground in frustration. At whom…? Shar’khee? Herself? Regardless, the female promptly gathered her composure, pushing air through clenched jaws. A step forward had her feet splash in the small pool of blood, the Malkrin nodding toward the paladin to continue back to the castles.
“…for the village.”
Shar’khee paused in her stride and faced her, frowning at the determination and anger leaking through the intent. “W—t was that?”
Her question was returned with honesty, a huffed voice marred by vexation. “Paladin, how am I to defend my village-mates as I am now?”
“‘As you are now?’ What do you m—n?”
The guardswoman stared down at her spear, wood creaking under her grip. “I have faltered before what you deem a paltry threat, and the thought of an even greater one sows dread deep within my bones. I wish… I wish to be better prepared to defend those of my village. I cannot help but see their faces on those of the furred creature in the clearing, and yet, even if I am so close, I am just as unable to protect them.”
Shar’khee stared down the yellow female, a long gaze taking in a rare showing of sincerity. “Y—r fears are one we all share, new one. Do not be ashamed of them. All t—t matters is that you do not let them rem—n mere fear, but make them your strength. So tell me, do you wish to impr—e? To ensure they do not fall while you are support—g them?”
The yellow-skinned female released a shuddering breath that bled off the worst of her indecision, a newly invoked flame flaring within her visage. “I do, paladin. I seek to protect and to be of use.”
“Then, if you wish to make y—rself resilient in the face of all that opposes us, it would be my undertak—g to forge you anew. Fortunately, Harrison has ordered such already, and his guidance shall prove ever useful, should you pursue it.”
The guardswoman shuffled in place at the star-sent’s mention, her eyes slipping downwards. “He is of a great many resources, but I would rather receive your teachings than those of a craftsman… or that of a male, deity-sent he might be.”
She placed a palm on the female’s shoulder. “He is far more than you might ever k—w. Regardless of if you ac—pt his guidance, I commend your conviction. However—” Her hand gripped tighter, though not enough to instill hostility. “—understand that you are protecting more than just your vi—age-mates.”
The new one nodded, staring up at the paladin with stallwart resolve. “Of course. I shall be in your tutelage, then.”
Shar’khee smiled. “T—n let us begin.”
\= = = = =
Akula was becoming increasingly certain that she knew how her parents once felt. The green-skinned fisherwoman was currently rotating between the many tasks placed upon her, guiding the newcomers through the minutia of their tasks so they might live up to the potential Harrison saw within them. She was gratified to have her own talents recognized by the Creator, but it also placed a great many responsibilities in her talons. Of course, she handled each new addition with finesse befitting her heritage, never once balking from the increasing demands. If anything, she felt validated; it was required of her as a female anyway, was it not? The more feminine-appropriate labor and management one undertakes, the higher authority they were granted.
It began with a simple assignment to oversee the chef’s introduction to the star-sent’s provided cooking appliances. As fascinating and convenient as utilities were, she held no interest in preparing any more food than she already had, but teaching another to operate the machines would alleviate such requirements of her. She reluctantly accepted the task when it was proposed, especially considering the fact that Harrison was much too busy with his other projects to bother with something as benign as cooking. His work was more valuable elsewhere.
The task itself went well, and the pink-skinned chef was quick to pick up on the use of the various kitchen devices, as well as the smoker. A grin had grown when she considered the possibility of all males understanding such domestic things readily, yet her mirth at removing the masculine job required of her was short-lived. Despite the newly initiated Malkrin’s success, Harrison had Akula frequently return to oversee the numerous cooking operations being conducted. That was in tandem with the back-to-back fishing trips made by both herself and the newly acquired females.
…Which was something else the green-skinned cycle-worshipper was ordered to oversee.
She had left the chef to his devices after producing another batch of partially seasoned meals, returning to the Creator with hopes of a break. He applauded her efforts with a nod and tersely spoken appreciation, then quickly pushed two spearguns into her hand and directed her to the ocean, where the twins were ‘working with jack shit,’ as the busy male said. She was to give the fisherwomen the tools and make sure they were used properly, and offer additional assistance in acquiring ‘enough fish to have us fed for a little bit.’
So, she left to complete the given task, feeling somewhat appreciative that her speargun was of superior quality to those she would be delivering—the newcomers were only afforded the lesser, roped-bolt version. It was only natural that she was in possession of their greatest assets, of course; the star-sent saw her as the only one capable of wielding such fantastic ammunition, showing trust that was rightfully placed in her. That did not mean the gray-skinned females were unsatisfied with their own gifts, however. The twins were swiftly caught up on the ‘manual of arms’ and sent to work, somehow managing to keep up with Akula in spite of their land-based origins. The two were fast enough to outpace the cycle-worshipper in sheer speed, but their lack of numerous winters spent traversing deeper waters meant they required frequent rests, breaking the ocean’s surface after every third captured fish or so.
Still, she had to appreciate their dedication to their task. They never complained about Akula pushing them further to reach the star-sent’s vague objective. Such a task was entrusted to her—and by proxy, the other two—and thus it would be completed, no matter how much her comfortable bed… couch called her tiring muscles.
The group of three hauled net after full net of fresh meat to the chef—and sewist, who later joined him—forcing him to relegate much of the catch to long-term storage as the kitchen simply could not deal with the surplus. At least three-quarters of the fish were put to slow cook in the now Malkrin-sized smoker. The craftsman had upgraded it with a kit provided by Harrison, who had recycled much of the dining room and workshop furniture to accommodate it. The Creator’s showcased urgency to gather materials was clearly not unfounded… It was admirable how he used what little he had left to ensure food would not be scarce. Additionally, the apparatus exuded an excellent scent for all the survivors to enjoy, the earthy aroma drawing in some of the other Malkrin for their breaks or meals.
Those were not the end of the cycle-worshiper’s tasks, however. She was also required to report on Shar’khee’s progress in training the guardswoman—helping to recycle the small swarm of abhorrent they cleared earlier—as well as the wood storage building’s progress. Indeed, she was advising and assisting however and wherever applicable. To say she was seen all around the settlement would be an understatement.
Nevertheless, she was appreciative to see her efforts bearing fruit by sundown. The processing of their meals from sea to plate was quite efficient, and those that Akula taught were now well-practiced in their duties. The twin fisherwomen dove from wave to wave, bringing fish back to the barracks, where the cook and sewist swiftly worked to transfer the meat to pans and smoker hooks alike. Then, the remnants of the Sea Goddess’ aquatic gifts would be subsequently recycled and given purpose anew as biofuel or perhaps future fertilizer.
The endless onslaught of duties and responsibilities had enlightened her, in a way. She could see where Harrison came from now; having a working project go from one point to another without input nor difficulty was a sight to behold, and it made her swell with pride. It was a surmountable feat to teach the barbaric ground-worshippers to do something properly.
…Well, they were not horrible Malkrin, so perhaps simply calling them ‘uninitiated’ was a more apt descriptor…
No matter the tribulations faced, and no matter how draining her new authority might be, her rest at the end of the day would be one that was well-earned, and it would be had with a sense of satisfaction. She deserved it, and perhaps that extended to the rest of the settlement as well.
- - - - -
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Next time on Total Drama Anomaly Island - Mine! Mine! Mine!
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2024.05.19 16:00 TrueTale0 Have you seen this about afterlife and Mrak Conte?

He is begin accused of rape and Afterlife of more things. The woman post, who is accusing is very long but interesting. Source: https://www.instagram.com/p/C7EylYDgjSX/?igsh=eXF1MTY5aGpndGV4
I translate here:
"What happened, CARMINE MRAK CONTE? Have you already forgotten how you drugged and raped a woman? Have you already forgotten how you touched someone without their consent? I know I’m not the first woman to go through something like this and I wish I were the last. It was so painful when I woke up and saw blood between my legs when I walked. Have you already forgotten how you begged for forgiveness through messages when I sent you the medical prescriptions for the tears you caused me? You won’t get away with what you did to me. Today, I decided not to stay silent anymore! I have all the necessary evidence of my rape. Real-time locations, photos with your team, medical prescriptions from the doctor who attended me and who is a witness to my sexual abuse, photos from the hotel where we all stayed. Today, everyone will know the sexual abuser you are! To give a little context on how I met you all. I had some doubts about the party you held, "AFTERLIFE". I wanted to know the real meaning behind the visuals you used and the message behind them... that was and was my only intention. So I was contacting you for a while on Instagram until on February 26, 2023, you played at a party in CDMX, and that's where I met "TALE OF US". They were staying at the Four Seasons, and I happened to be in CDMX, so we met for dinner and then went to that party. I never imagined what I was getting into...
They were in Argentina for a few days, to be precise from April 4 to April 8, 2023 and they invited me on those days.
On April 7, at the end of the AFTERLIFE party, Carmine Mrak's animal, because I can't find any other way to call that person, drugged me and sexually abused me.
I had lost consciousness and didn't even drink alcohol.
I woke up and I was torn, it hurt a lot when I walked, I couldn't sit down.
I asked him what had happened and he told me "why" I told him what I felt and he told me "ahh it's just that you wanted more, that's how you asked for it."
Without remembering anything, in pain I just thought and said: I can't believe the sinism of this monster.
I told him that I wanted to return to Mexico that I couldn't stand the pain, he told me "it's okay, sorry."
I couldn't even rest on the plane, I was crying without understanding why that had happened to me.
Arriving in Guadalajara I had to go to the emergency room and they told me that I had to sue whoever had done that to me because I was not alone.
What I experienced I wouldn't wish on anyone else...
Returning to the topic of when I met them in CDMX and the doubts I had, finishing the party in CDMX I asked Carmine Mrak about his doubts about Afterlife.
I asked him if it was about TRANSHUMANISM and he just opened his eyes, looked at me and said:
"TRANSHUMANISM, YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT, OF COURSE IT'S ALL ABOUT TRANSHUMANISM THAT IS THE NEXT STEP OF HUMAN EVOLUTION"
For those who don't know what it is, it's about
(improve humanity through technology by questioning humanity's own limits such as the prolongation of life).
That's what you're led to believe... that you can change, master, and override natural events like old age, guilt, suffering, and even death.
They believe they can leave the human body aside by transferring all the information each individual contains into a computer! That is why in its visuals there are cables connecting to the human, robots carrying humans on their legs and they dying while the robot opens its face and a smoke that comes out of the human is passed to the robot.
That is not something that is very far from reality... there are already people who call themselves
"Cyborgs" and you can find videos and documentaries of them where they have already implanted chips in their bodies to control some things in their environment.
Here comes the worst part, this can cause inequalities between countries and continents, increasing the digital divide and the possibility of social conflicts. On the other hand, the debate regarding moral, judicial and ethical laws arises, generating social confusion.
Organ cloning, nanotechnology, prosthetic implants with AI in some cases seem good for humans But surprise! It also has its disadvantages. First of all, and that is more than enough to worry me, is: Man can lose all of his human identity.
One day I noticed a tattoo of a cross on his hand to which I asked: Do you believe in Jesus? And he answered: "No, that was before when I was young, now I like the devil more."
He asked me: do you like the little devil? He immediately showed me his tattoos on both arms with demons and horns, he told me that those little devils had already given him everything he wanted, fame, money, power, I told him that since I was little I watched beings that tormented me and my bad episodes, He said that this was a gift, and to master it.
I constantly repeated the word "Incubus" for those who don't know this means "yaser"
'lie down' engender a demon' inside a woman the victims live the experience like a dream without being able to wake up from it.
This Being can also take the form of a handsome man, sometimes even making its victims fall in love with it. While all this happens, it consumes the energy of the seduced woman.
When it is the incubus who tries to extend the life of his lover, she enjoys health, physical and emotional well-being; An incubus in love can be equally beneficial and dangerous.
Well, I already knew a little about their intention and I was more alert... little by little they began to introduce me to people from their personal circle: managers, producers, backup singers, musicians, even audio engineers, and what I saw and heard was not true. they would believe.
One day Carmine tells me "I want to see what's in your mind"
Tell me some words and I will put them into the artificial intelligence software.
I start to tell him to see "a path, a sun, lines, a sky." Mrak tells me how basic it is to look at what I'm creating... "it's literally the doors to the underworld" and starts laughing.
People here tell me they are crazy "Look at the codes, what they talk about" And they were just words like
"armageddon" "demon" "darkness" "evil" "death" etc.
I was just observing, that had been my intention from the beginning. Little by little I discovered more things that made me sick not only of them, but of everything they do, their work team, the real intention of their parties, how they made fun of other artists... they are not good people .
I imagine many remember one of his last visuals at Afterlife in Tulum about a guy parting the sea with a cane.
(That's the part in the Bible where Moses extends his arm over the sea for everyone to walk)
Exodus 14:21-22
All of these things are against religion and well, I am also very fighting against fanaticism. I will not be the most devout but I believe in repentance and I have faith in God.
I also remembered something with your visuals that I had read in the Bible and this is the verse:
"As you saw, iron mixed with clay will be mixed through human alliances, but they will not be united with each other as iron is not mixed with clay" Daniel 2:43
(We are the mud) that's why the visuals of the trees flooding with metal.
The giant doors representing the portals, everything has a meaning, I understood everything.
I knew what their message was, their objective and the evil rituals of these puppets.
Their afterlife logo represents the upturned cross.
Have you seen the actors' strikes in Hollywood? It's incredible how this is affecting everyone and if you are a musician and you are reading this you should think about questioning who you are supporting, what you want to do with your project and what you can do to achieve change because they are going to replace you in couple of minutes.
When I discovered this I felt disgusted inside! All those parties that I attended years ago in Tulum and in some parts of Mexico believing that everything was good vibes, ecstatic, happy together with my friends without knowing what we were dancing to and what we were contributing to.
Now I feel sorry for all those people I see giving their energy and soul to these satanic parties.
They think that everything is light, love and peace but they don't have the slightest idea of ​​everything these puppets represent. How sad to see all those artists wanting to be part of this label.
I ask for support from the music industry, from all the women who have experienced something similar to all the people who support the women's movement, share so that everyone knows how shitty these people are and what they did to me, how they manipulate and use their festivals as rituals.
Let's raise awareness, I know that many of you see the subliminal messages that they publish, it is not really your imagination if something is happening.
Stop supporting so much evil, the world doesn't need any more of that.
Stop supporting A RAPIST like him.
If I don't raise my voice it could be another woman who ends up suffering like I did."
What do you think?
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2024.05.19 15:53 GothamCitySub Nicknames for all NYC subway lines

Today, I will be giving nicknames to all NYC subway lines. Some are well-known, others I made up. I will be giving a little explanation to why, as well.
1: Best on Broadway. It stops a lot, but man is it good uptown!
2: Seventh Avenue Shuttle. Ripping through midtown at 45-55mph??!! YES PLEASE!!!
3: Red Rocket. Just as fast as the 2 on the express track...or even faster...than still not slow in Brooklyn. Fastest train in the whole freakin' system.
4: Lexington Laser. Soon as it arrives at 125 St you already know it's gonna barrel to City Hall...straight as an arrow and fast as a laser.
5: Dyre Direct. Express in all three boroughs it goes through during rush hour.
6: Pelham Packer. Frequent, but overcrowded as heck!
7: International Express. Most diverse train line in the world.
A: Airplane. Stops are mad far apart. Speedy. And goes to JFK. But also like an airplane, prone to delays.
B: Brighton Blazer. Only way to get to/from South Brooklyn in a good amount of time...all the other trains are slow as heck but B is really fast.
C: Catch the A train. Please do, it's so much better.
D: Dreadfully Delayed. If you want a hyper-express, take the A/4/5, not this garbage.
E: Excellent Express. Sorry, but "Homeless Express" just won't cut it for a line as great as the E. Super fast(48mph) on Queens Blvd, good local on 8 Ave/53 St.
F: Flying Fish. Jumps out of the water on QBL for a little while and zooms...then back to square one cuz it can't actually fly.
G: Garbage. That's just what it is.
J: Joke. Again, that's just what it is.
L: Local Legend. How does a train run every 2 minutes and get from Canarsie to 8 Ave-14 St in 45 minutes while stopping at every stop? The locals say it's just a legend...but others say it's real, it's called the L train.
M: Mystery. Why it won't just do its job and departs the terminal 20 minutes late just to terminate a few miles from it?
N: New Yorker's Nightmare. If New York is the Big Apple, the N train is that brown part so rotten you can't even bite into it. Worst line in the system, or at least up there.
Q: Quiet Queen. While the Q train itself may be quiet, so is the speed of its express runs, and for that matter, its entire route.
R: Rarely Right There. When it is you celebrate, then you rethink your life choices because you go 10mph and get passed by like 15 E/F trains.
W: Weekday Only. And even when it runs it's terrible.
Z: Zombie. Never knew it existed.
So yeah, that's it!(I didn't include shuttles). Comment your thoughts below!
submitted by GothamCitySub to nycrail [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 15:53 Gazooonga [Diary of a Press-Ganged Saurian] #1

Just another fun little story idea I had. I am still working on Humans are the violent ones but I like to bounce around and experiment with ideas to see what I really like. I also suck at writing more casual stories, as they give me severe writer's block as I try to map out how to make a scene feel genuine in my head, but I promise I'll update that soon. If you like this story and want to see more, then like and comment. I'll gladly continue this series as well.
Start of Personal Log
Humans don't like being told what to do. They don't like being commanded, put in their place, or snubbed. It was an inexorable, inalienable trait of humans, at least any noteable humans, to go against any authority that they believed was against their interests.
Humanity would not fit amongst the stars. Few ever did. It was a trait of most successful species to be willful, ambitious, and to desire more. But once they reached the stars the new (and simultaneously very old) pecking order either quashed any spirit such species had or simply eradicated them. Countless tomb worlds and diaspora served as painful reminders of what became of the nails that chose to stick out. The hammer of order would always strike. There could be no compromise, the very soul of the authority that held the Jurisdiction together relied on a show of unmatched power, or at least the illusion of item.
In reality, the Jurisdiction was an old, fat, and lazy beast. It filled its belly on the corpses of empires far and wide, and sated its bloodlust on the shattered dreams of hopeful cubs. It had every right to, for none could challenge it: there were no new frontiers to explore, nor were there any other enemies to conquer. The Milky Way, as humans had so strangely dubbed our cradle galaxy, as well as Andromeda, had long since been warred over and settled for millennia before humanity had arrived, bright-eyed and with familiar yet otherwise foolish dreams of cooperation and prosperity. The Jurisdiction did not cooperate, nor did it ensure prosperity. Oh, it claimed it did, but in reality it simply took. The rest was just the peace that came with not being the direct target of the biggest fish in the pond. The humans didn't like that, but they had no choice.
Slavery was a common tribute. The Jurisdiction had no use for other resources: it simply took. No, it wanted those who could facilitate that unequal exchange, those raised in a world where the only morality was the one set by your lord. The Jurisdiction was held together by expectations, obligations, and dury more than any kind of shared dream, so when you were ordered to take you did so without question. Humanity was new: they had no niche or value that set them apart, but they had a penchant for killing and taking, so the Jurisdiction gave them a taste of how the galaxy worked. They killed and they took. The humans didn't like that, but what choice did they have?
Humans were strange. They learned, but not in the way most species learned. Most species learned to adapt in a passive way, to adhere to the world around them. They flowed like water, moving past and around obstacles and confirming to the boxes they were assigned too. Humans didn't confirm, nor did they adapt: they made their circumstances fit their desires. They would not move around obstacles, but rather smash through them, and they refused to stay in one box for too long. The Jurisdiction merely saw them as a particularly loud nuisance, but those who faced their wrath knew better.
It is said that when a beast seeks to make an example, it shall humble its rival by killing it's cubs. Children were one of those universal constants that brought entire communities together: the Sok’klar saw their hatchlings as gifts, shaped by the fruitful currents of the universe in perfect harmony. The Yarrack saw each and every newborn whelp as an uncut gemstone, ready to be shaped into something magical. Humanity oftentimes referred to their offspring as angels, or spirits of unbridled good sent by the gods themselves. Children were seen by most of the galaxy as gifts.
The Jurisdiction saw them as a lever to inflict suffering. It had become quite effective at enacting psychological punishments on those that stood up and spoke out. You dare to disobey? You believe you can speak out? Your gifts shall be taken from you, and you shall be without joy.
Humans didn't like this, but the Jurisdiction would have their pound of flesh, and humankind would kneel. And they did. But humans were patient creatures: most species who retained that trait of willful spit also lacked patience.
I had long since become desensitized to the Jurisdiction’s actions: it was simply how the universe worked now, as if it were a constant akin to gravity. Cruelty was the unspoken rule of this seemingly unending age, where our lives never appeared to move forward or backwards, only lay dormant. The Jurisdiction had been the unyielding authority that ruled the galaxy for thousands of years, venerable yet feared all the same.
And for the longest time I was just another cog in its wheel. My name is Kalnuracht Sedjuur-Noumar VII, and was the scion of the noble house Sedjuur-Noumar. I was born into what most would describe as veiled apathy, living a life that could be attributed to the privileged class of feared scribes that enacted the will of those above. I was an administrator and nothing more. And now I am doomed to be far less than that in the eyes of my former constituents within the endless administration. I am the only scion, as is tradition, and without an heir I am the last of my house, our name to be scrubbed from the records, worthless, meaningless, and forgotten.
I am merely Kalnuracht, nothing else and nothing more. I have seen from their eyes, the eyes of the downtrodden, and it makes my crimes of association with the Jurisdiction feel all the more damning on my worthless soul. I am worthless to the world, and this is my story.
End Personal Log #1
Start of Neural Lace Narrative Log #1
They came from the black like carrion birds in the night, encircling our convoy as if it were a dying animal ready to be picked clean without remorse. There was no warning, no list of demands sent out as civilized peoples did, nor was there either any requirement for unconditional surrender nor chance to parlay, as was done so under letter of marque: this was an unmistakable call for violence and nothing else. They sought to reduce us to slag and scavenge the rest.
So, as one would expect, the entire bridge of the ship was nearing a panicked state. This was not the actions of those practicing civility, but rather the common behaviors of despoiling barbarians, the kind that tore their way through the dark reaches of the galaxy as if they owned it.
“Wayfinder, what do your probes see?” Shouted the ship’s sovereign. He was an older Kar’Rowmach, an amphibious cephalopod species with a venerable history within the Jurisdiction going back thousands of years. Normally one such as him would be above me if it weren't for the fact that I was under the authority of the Jurisdiction’s seal of office. He didn't like me very much, but most of his kind shared the same sentiment.
“All dark, honorable Sovereign: the sensor arrays are wailing but the feedback we're reviewing is beyond incomprehensible,” the wayfinder replied with a certain restrained temper in his voice. The Sok'klar wayfinder swayed gently, his tentacled limbs grasping different metallo-liquid braille output arrays, the liquid gallium flexing and reshaping unnaturally to allow him to to take in multiple different sources of sensory output at once, with the primary navigation computer plugged into the cybernetics surrounding his opaque, gelatinous head and plugging directly into his tube-shaped brain.
The Sovereign cursed in Loskat and pointed to his bridge crew while I simply sat in the back, near the Sovereign’s symbolic throne. “Prepare countermeasures and spool up the warp drive, we cannot allow the amanuensis to be taken! He carries sensitive information that only he can translate and transcribe!”
As the bridge crew nodded and began fiddling with their own systems, I preened my feathered hide anxiously. I wasn't a fighter: us nobles of the cloth were the educated minority above all else, not those who waged war or partook in hard labor. Special cybernetics in my brain allowed me to translate triple-encoded messages that usually took a ducal signet codekey or above to parse, but even without that I was a skilled mathematician and logician. I had terabytes worth of knowledge stored within the hardware installed in my head, all well protected of course, but if I were to die it would still be a waste. I could only imagine the damage any malcontenders could do with it if they were able to get their filthy hands on me.
Suddenly, the ship rocked, and the gallium overhead display began to form crescendos like I'd never seen before. “Sovereign, decks A-3 through C-12 are venting atmosphere and our coolant systems have been obliterated,” the Wayfinder spoke in an almost serene voice, as if he was completely unconcerned by current events. I knew they were simply incapable of tonal displays, but it was unnerving nonetheless. “Once we jump, we will not be able to risk another until the vacuum of the void can reduce temperatures to acceptable levels within the plasma capacitors.”
“Damn them,” the armored nautiloid hissed, his barbed feelers coiling in frustration, “May the currents take them. What are our options? what can we see? This fleet cannot fall to the void today, not with such vital cargo.” My hackles rose lightly at the Kar’Rowmach referred to me as some object rather than an esteemed amanuensis of the Jurisdiction, but I bit my forked tongue. Now was not the time to squabble with the sovereign over who was what and what titles I deserved, not while he was so desperately attempting to keep what semblance of order within his fleet that he had left.
I could not blame the crew for being panicked either: wars were practically mythologized now, having been long since rendered obsolete with the rise of the Jurisdiction, and that felt like an eternity ago. Now, either being levied into or joining a ducal naval force was simply another career, more akin to serving as an officer of the law rather than a fully fledged soldier. Minimal training was required, most of it being the technicals of one's duty rather than any kind of combat conditioning, so expecting a fleet to actually be prepared for a combat scenario in a universe where peace was the norm was laughable.
“We are practically blind, Sovereign,” stated the Sok'klar Wayfinder, “our probes are offline, and shipboard graviton displacement sensory arrays have been rendered unreliable at best.”
“What about the particle emission array? Has there been a spike in radioactivity where we were hit?”
The Wayfinder seemed to think for a second, his gelatinous form flexing and morphing a bit before answering. “Affirmative, a jump from negligible to forty billion becquerels along decks A through E-5 on our starboard side.”
“Torpedoes…” the Sovereign hissed, stroking his barbed feelers, “Human Torpedoes. Only those primitives would rely on crude nuclear warheads.” He then turned to his militant leaders on the ship. “Noddos, Rel’ads: organize your phalanxes and prepare to repel boarders. We are bound to be assailed by those rancorous primates, and I want their skulls piled at my feet if they dare set foot on our ship.”
“Your wish is our command, Sovereign,” the two militant commanders spoke as one. Noddos, a large bipedal with multiple sets of curved spines running down his back, a pair of graceful horns sprouting from his head, and multiple rows of sharp teeth in his snout, bowed first, followed by Rel’ads, a marsupial with long saberteeth and thick fur. They both must have been fierce warriors in their own right to each lead a phalanx. They wore thick, semi-powered armor and held dueling polearms alongside their usual plasma casters, and seemed completely unfazed by the situation we were in. As they stomped out of the brightly lit bridge, I let out a quiet squawk of discontentment. “Sovereign, why haven't we jumped again? We are wasting precious time.”
“I am working on it, you spineless beaurocrat!” He warbled back, his feelers tensing in anger, “besides, it's not as if you're the one who will be spilling blood today, amanuensis, so flatten your wretched beak or I shall weld it shut with a plasma torch.
I was about to reply with something indignant, but the ship rocked again, this time causing the lights to flicker and the air to become… thick. The skin under my feathers began to blister, and I became lightheaded and confused. “Seal the damnable vents, initiate radiation scrubbers, and activate secondary life support!” Shouted the Sovereign, “Their nuclear weapons are rendering the ship inhospitable!”
I coughed up magenta blood accidentally, and I could feel more seeping from under my eyes. Some of the crew was in a similar position, but others were more resistant to radiation than I. The Sok'klar seemed completely at ease as he ran his tentacles across his morphic braille arrays before calmly announcing the ship’s status. “I've regained some control over our probes: ten, twelve, and seventeen are active and fully functional, the rest are either still malfunctioning or permanently inoperable. A rapid rise in localized radiation is also interfering with the detection of graviton displacement; we can't sense photon redirection, thus readings will remain inconclusive.
“Wayfinder, damn you, get me some kind of out here! We're easy prey until we can respond in kind!”
“Negative, something has gone awry with our processing hub, I am attempting to troubleshoot-”
And with that, the Wayfinder’s bulbous head exploded in a cascade of opaque lavender blood, covering the front half of the deck crew like a morbid art piece. Some of the crew screamed and shouted in terror before removing their cranial adaptors and choosing to interact with their displays manually. Others died just as quickly, unable to unplug in time as their brain stems fried or their blood boiled. It was a horrible way to go, having your insides neutralized by your own cybernetics, so I was glad I wasn't connected to the system.
“Cybernetic warfare! All systems are to be considered compromised, switch to manual settings or you'll be killed!”
The lights in the bridge flickered again, and the displays went haywire. The bridge crew, which obviously weren't acquainted with working without being hard-linked into the mainframe, moved at a much slower pace.
“Launch missile pods A through F and set to self-target after five hundred kilometers, then rely on their ballistic coordinates to begin firing broadsides! If we can't see the humans due to their meddling, we'll just have to feel them.” Shouted the Sovereign, “and got me a detailed report on the ship’s diagnostics readings. I need to know if this flagship is still capable of escaping or if we'll have to scuttle it and retreat on another.”
“Acknowledged, Sovereign, launching now,” affirmed another deck officer as he swiped across his own gallium output array. I could hear the dull thunk, thunk, thunk of missiles pushing out of their pods before racing off to their intended targets, then the mechanical whirring as the pods rotated to be reloaded by slaves in the lower decks. I was regaining my bearings as the many horrible sensations of being overwhelmed by radiation poisoning were beginning to subside, but I still felt as if I had been microwaved. The air was stale, the crew was horribly sick as well, and even the sovereign himself seemed to be on his last leg. I was beginning to believe that I might die here.
“Sovereign, a message from the lower decks,” shouted a communications officer, his chitin scraping against itself as he turned quickly, “they're requesting reinforcements, something about being overrun.”
“Impossible,” the Sovereign hissed out in a vain attempt to exude confidence, “We must outnumber the humans, they always go for bigger targets out of arrogance.”
“I've received reports that it's not just humans: the primates seem to make up only a third or so of the assailing force, along with some Phaeldaer and Vrex.”
The commander slammed his clawed hands down on his own output array in a fit of rage, obviously overwhelmed by the circumstances, “Then this wasn't just a typical assault, but something more sinister!” The nautiloid warbled, blood seeping from his shell as the full effects of the radiation took hold, “Get Rel’ads on the line, have him divert all spare lances to the lower decks or else we'll lose the only offensive capabilities we can use.”
“Rel'ads has gone dark, Sovereign, his vitals are critical.”
“Then either get me Rel'ads tail-leader or get me Noddos!” He screamed in rage, “don't give me this nonsense! If we don't pick it up we're all going to die, is that what you want?”
“No, Sovereign, I'm simply overwhelmed-”
“We're all overwhelmed! By the tides, I'm dying of radiation poisoning you nincompoop! Get me something I can work with!”
The officer didn't even acknowledge the Sovereign after that, simply turning back to his display. Eventually, the Sovereign was able to get Noddos on the line.
“Sovereign, two thirds of my phalanxes have been decimated by combat with the primitives and the radiation, the rest are in shambles. We must retreat and fortify elsewhere!”
“Then the ship is compromised! Rel'ads is unresponsive and the lower decks are swarming with intruders. We must evacuate the amanuensis to another ship.”
Just as the Sovereign spoke, I heard several gentle thumps rattle against the bridge’s door, and it made me uneasy. Some of the bridge crew seemed to feel the same, as they looked incredibly nervous and some even drew their sidearms. Just as the sovereign turned to give further orders, the door blew inward with a deafening explosion, followed by shouting and gunfire. Several of the bridge officers were dispatched quickly, brain matter and blood splattering against the delicate electronics. Others were shot in the legs, the torso, or in any other exotic yet non-vital body parts. The humans poured in, brandishing primitive ballistic firearms and jury-rigged energy weapons while wearing scavenged, legion-grade powered armor.
The Sovereign was the next to go, but he wasn't afforded an honorable death. He was shot along the arm with a particularly potent plasma caster, burning off his clawed hand and cauterizing the wound, the acrid smell of roasting chitin filling the already hot and cramped bridge. He fell back against his output array, the gallium reaching new highs and lows as more diagnostics and casualty reports were delivered, and he clutched his stump angrily. “I'll burn every last one of you in the foundries! I'll tie you to stakes, cover you in wax and set you alight! Your screams will be broadcasted all over the galaxy!”
One human warrior stomped up and slammed the butt of his rifle into the sovereign’s face, shattering his facial plates and causing blue blood to splatter across his section of the bridge. “Shut the fuck up, you mutant lobster,” the human said before dragging him by both antennae towards the center of the bridge and receiving a stained breeching axe from one of his comrades. “Emmanuel, start recording. We need proof.”
The other human nodded and pressed a button on his armor before lifting up his gun again. The rest of the humans fanned out, holding everyone else at gunpoint. I tried to get up and sneak out, but a human grabbed me by my neck and nearly wrung it out as he forced me to my knees and pointed a sidearm to my skull. “Get down, you piece of shit, before I blow your brains out too.”
“Damnable primate,” I hissed, but he bashed me in my skull with the base of his sidearm’s grip and sent me sprawling, making my already pounding headache worse. Another human shouted at him in a language I didn't recognize, but he sounded furious. The first brought me back up to my knees again, and I complies with a hiss and a groan, blood still leaking from my eyes and mouth and my world was spinning.
The Sovereign struggled, but he was weak from the radiation poisoning and he couldn't exactly resist on account of his lost arm. The human with the breaching ax kicked the Sovereign down and forced him to kneel before lifting up the breeching ax and splitting his chitinous head down the middle with one powerful swing, sending more blood and brains across the floor. “Execution confirmed, take his antennae just in case and we've got ourselves a bounty. Now all we need is that ugly cat’s teeth and the fat hedgehog-thing’s grimy spines and we'll be in business. Although, they do have skulls… we might as well just take their heads.”
The real horror of the situation dawned on me at that moment: they were going to kill us all, or maybe worse. They mentioned a bounty for the commanders, and multiple of the higher ranking ship officers were already dead, their brains splattered against the walls or their bodies torn apart by gunfire. I wasn't dead yet, but that didn't mean much since I wasn't an immediate threat.
“Alright, round them up and bring all the grunts to the hanger bay, then kill the rest,” the leader of the humans said in such a lackadaisical manner that his complete disregard for life almost made me sick… almost. I had seen worse from the Jurisdiction before, but usually that was from me delivering some kind of ordered judgment on a world that had sinned against order. I might have simply been the messenger, but I had seen many of the outcomes. “And make sure to collect whatever proof of bounties you can, we'll need to deliver them to the office to get cashed out. Don't let this be a repeat of last time where Juarez fucking forgot to take a few heads and it ended up cutting our profits in half, the fucking retard.”
Some of the humans chuckled at that as they dragged more of the senior officers away, out of the room and into the hall,where I heard gunshots. The rest of the bridge crew froze in place, different fear instincts kicking in. The remaining Sok'klar corralled together into what seemed to be a singular, semi-congealed mass as if to try and trick the humans into believing that they were much bigger and much more threatening than they actually were. The one Thei’chi on the bridge, an ensign who had clearly thought this would be a simple mission, bore her curved fangs at the humans and growled as they approached, her hackles completely vertical and her eyes dilated. They quickly muzzled and bound her before beating her over the head with a gun stock, sending her sprawling onto the ground. Many others simply cooperated, eyes wide and yet simultaneously empty, as if they couldn't quite process that the ship had been taken and the commanding officers were being executed as the rest were escorted to the hangar.
“Get the damn messenger down to the hanger as well, we need whatever data's in his ugly lizard head, then we can decide on what to do with him.”
I spat at him in spite, as if to try and seem brave, but it was clearly an empty gesture. “You won't get anything, primate! You couldn't possibly crack the encryption!”
The human holding me seemed to wind up for another swing, but the commanding officer simply held up his hand to stop my tormentor before strolling over to me. He knelt down and removed his helmet, revealing a beige-colored face covered in scars, wiry black hair cut down to the scalp, and multiple tattoos. “You're really fucking mouthy for a hostage,” he said before punching me across my beak faster than I could register. I heard a sharp crack as his fist connected, and my head spun again as the metallic taste of blood pooled into my mouth. “I'd advise you to shut up, but I'm sure you won't listen: you aristocratic types are so full of yourselves. Maybe I should have you flogged in the public square until your vocal chords give out once we rip those cybernetics from your head, huh? How's that sound?”
“It won't matter… it won't change anything… the Jurisdiction will hunt you down.”
“Maybe, but I doubt it will happen for some time: they really suck at doing anything that requires effort, even when they're mad enough. They just keep sending their rabid lapdogs to try and smoke us out, and they always end up full of holes,” the human officer said with a smirk, his yellowish-white teeth and green eyes sending shivers down my spine as he drew his knife. “They're just horrible at their job, you know? You've all gotten so lazy and incompetent after being able to just take what you want without resistance, and now that you've met people who are angry and crazy enough to fight back you act as if we're committing some grave injustice,” he placed the knife against my throat, the flat just underneath my now bent beak, “No, we just took a few pages out of your book, ‘cept we've got standards. No kids, for one…” he seemed to look off into the distance as his sneer deepened, “but it's more than that, we don't attack the defenseless in general and we still win against you all in fair fights.”
I went to say something else snarky, but he quickly grabbed my thin tongue with his fingers and yanked it out, blood from my mouth pulling to the floor as he held the blade of his knife against it. “No no, none of that. Say one more thing and I'll cut that rancid little tongue of yours out of your mouth and feed it to you,” he hissed at me, pressing the blade down just hard enough to draw blood. “Do you know what it's like to see a planet turn into a tomb?" he asked me, gritting his teeth, “Do you know what it's like to see everything you've ever known crumble to ash and glass, all the life and the green stripped away leaving nothing but bones? I do. I've seen it happen to countless worlds, and my grandfather always told me stories of how you bastards did it to Earth. He still prays in its direction five times a day, to Mecca, but he knows the Kaaba is gone now, or maybe it's still there, buried in the bones of those who sought refuge there.”
I didn't care for the human’s nonsensical beliefs, but I did care to correct him. “I've seen it before, and I'll see it again. And so will you, it's inevitable. The Jurisdiction will always have its judgment fulfilled, there is no alternative.”
“One day, I hope we can rectify that,” he said, then he sheathed his knife and slammed my head against the metal floor with enough force to nearly knock me out. As I lost consciousness, I could hear him speak. “Take him to the Chop Doc, and make sure the cybernetics don't get damaged: they're supposedly more valuable than any bounty on this ship.”
Warning: Severe radiation poisoning detected. Flush system immediately.
Warning: Neural Lace removal detected, chance of neurological damage high. Proceeded with caution.
submitted by Gazooonga to redditserials [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 15:48 lightingnations I found my girlfriend’s secret Google account and it feels like our entire relationship was built on a lie

I met Luna on a train two years ago. I’d just escaped from a toxic relationship, so romance was the last thing on my mind, but then she sat across from me in the carriage and asked about the book I was reading. She had a copy in her bag and wanted to know if it was any good.
I'd never felt such an instant, effortless connection with anybody before. I took a chance and asked her to dinner, and by the time the waiters cleared away our desserts, I already felt comfortable being vulnerable around her. So we went on a second date. And a third. And next thing I knew, we were planning our second anniversary.
In all that time she never gave off any 'creeper' vibes. Until a few months ago, when I stayed the night over at her place...
She'd gotten up early to use the bathroom. I grabbed her laptop off the side desk so I could catch up on some work e-mails, and the incognito tab was just sitting there. My first thought was: either she's having an affair or she's got a secret fetish.
What I found instead was a Google account with a photo album called ‘Michael’s EX’. In it, there were 427 photos of my former girlfriend turned psycho stalker, Sadie. This included shots of ‘Sadie the stalker’ with her family, screenshots of her passport—the works. On Facebook, Sadie's latest post said Moving to the Philippines, and since then she’d become a social media church mouse, so how did Luna keep her under surveillance? And how did you even get PERSONAL ID from a person halfway across the globe?
Down the hall, I heard the bathroom door swing open. Quickly I closed the laptop and pretended to be asleep until Luna planted a kiss on my lips. “Wakey wakey Bugs.”
I faked a stretch. “Morning Lola."
(At school, the other kids christened me ‘Bugs’ because of my cartoonishly large front teeth; I called Luna ‘Lola’ because of her blonde bangs and heart-shaped face.)
“How about we grab a fry for breakfast?” Her smile didn’t seem genuine, more like she was wearing a mask.
“Crap. I forgot I’m doing overtime today, I’ve gotta get to work.” With that, I shot out of there faster than a bullet train to Tokyo.
Because I didn’t wanna believe the worst about someone I cared so deeply about, I didn’t contact the police (not that anybody could’ve guessed what Luna was up to) and made excuses whenever she asked to meet, delaying the decision whether to end our relationship.
At night, I couldn’t sleep. Every time a hedge rustled outside, I’d run to the window and pull back the curtain only to discover a black cat skulking around the garden. I put this down to my previous relationship leaving me with a mountain of unresolved PTSD.
Sadie the stalker also seemed normal until we moved in together. After that she started picking fights if she caught me talking to another woman, even just distant relatives or childhood friends. The screaming matches went from weekly to nightly, only ever ending when I conceded to her every wish and gave her full access to my phone and social media accounts. I literally needed to grab my clothes into a bag and run away one night, and then I started hearing noises outside my new apartment. And although I never found any evidence, I was pretty sure she’d broken in at one point because the books on my side table were suddenly out of order one day. What hurt the most was Luna knew all this and still acted the way she did.
Right as I reached my lowest point, my close friend Gertrude called and said, “The universe is telling me you could use a sympathetic ear.”
I told her the universe didn’t know the half of it.
I’d met Gertrude—aka my surrogate mother—on a flight to London. Passing over Wales the aircraft hit heavy turbulence, and the grey-haired hippie in the seat next to mine squeezed my hand so tight that my fingers turned blue. After we levelled off, she apologized and said, “So what’s calling you to London?”
“A job.”
A few glasses of wine from the service trolley later, she blurted out, “You know your aura is strikingly similar to my husbands.”
“Uhh, thanks. Where is he now?”
“Oh, he burned to death in a house fire.”
Gertrude’s eyes started welling up. To take her mind off the subject, I said, “I lied earlier. I’m going to London because I fell in love with a Londoner.” I pulled up pictures of Sadie (back in her pre-stalker days) on my phone. “We met in Italy. She looked flustered trying to read a map book so I offered to help. Next thing I knew, we were planning a trip to this place called Orvieto.”
“Michael, I need to know how this story ends. Gimme your number.”
Since then, we’d met two or three times a year.
I laid the whole mess out over pizza. It was the first time since finding the Google account I didn’t feel hidden eyes crawling all over me.
Just as I wrapped up the story, over in the corner booth, a family burst into a chorus of happy birthday. A waiter appeared carrying a chocolate cake, capped by a giant candle that looked more like a flare. Gertrude tensed up.
“So what do you think about all this?” I asked.
She looked back at me and said, “It’s possible your reaction has been a touch on the dramatic side.”
“DRAMATIC??”
“Well consider things from Luna’s point of view. Your last relationship lasted for, what, three years? Maybe she felt threatened.”
“I don’t believe this.” I grabbed a cigarette from my pocket, but Gertrude snatched it away.
“You know how I feel about you poisoning your lungs, Michael.”
“Don’t you start. I got enough of that crap from Luna.”
Gertrude always encouraged me to work through my romantic problems. Ultimately, I decided her love of fairytale romances clouded her judgement and ghosted Luna instead. But I couldn’t escape her shadow. She always felt close. In fact, it got so bad that at a friend’s costume party several weeks later, my eyes kept compulsively scanning the crowd as if she was there in disguise, ready to pounce.
I stood off to the corner until, over the sea of heads, I spotted a beautiful stranger dressed as Jarlath the Goblin King. I took a shot of liquid courage and made a B-line towards her.
Halfway across the crowded room, beer splashed across the front of my Ziggy Stardust outfit.
“I am so sorry,” a female pirate said, patting me dry.
“Don’t worry about it.” Every time I tried circling her, she moved to cut me off.
“I am such a klutz. Why don’t you come into the kitchen so I can clean up this mess?”
I put my hands on her shoulders and steered her out of the way. “It’s fine. Trust me.”
Approaching Jarlath from behind, heart slamming against my chest, I said, “Well this is awkward. One of us is gonna have to change.”
Jennie had bright blue eyes and dimples impossible to miss. Ten minutes into our debate about David Bowie’s greatest album, I said, “You know Absolute Bowie are playing the Half Moon next week. I could take you?”
“Sorry. I’m going with my boyfriend,” she said with a sympathetic smile. From beside the buffet table, the pirate stared daggers in our direction.
“No worries,” I replied, despite the fact I was brimming with jealousy.
The next day, as I jogged off my hangover, a brown-haired lady cut across my path and we both went spinning to the ground.
“Flip, sorry.” I rushed to pull her up by the hands. “I’m like a bloody zombie lately.”
She did a doubletake. “Ziggy, right?”
There was no mistaking those eyes. “Jarlath?”
“Well, Jarlath or Jennie. Eithers fine.”
“Right. Well, sorry again. Enjoy Absolute Bowie.”
Before I could jog away, she said, “Hey, so that guy I was seeing? Turns out he’s a total prick.”
Jennie and I went for coffee. Coffee morphed into drinks. Drinks morphed into a steamy make-out session on my sofa.
But as she covered my neck in soft kisses, my stomach turned. It felt like cheating. So, I put the brakes on things and said, “I can’t do this. I’m really sorry. You’re amazing, but I just got out of a serious relationship…and…it’s just…”
“Hey, don’t worry about it.”
We agreed we’d let our connection blossom in its own time.
Jennie had a playful mystique to her. Within a handful of dates, we’d developed inside jokes and could tell what the other was thinking. But Luna’s imprint was hard to shake, to the extent I almost mixed up the two ladies’ names multiple times.
To detox, I suggested Jennie and I spend a romantic weekend in the Lake District, because after two days of hiking and kayaking my ex would no doubt be a spec in the rearview mirror.
Hours before we set off, however, Luna’s mom called. She wanted to meet and wouldn’t accept any excuses.
“Look, it’s obvious why I’m here,” she said, sitting across from me in Starbucks. “Ever since you and Luna broke up, she’s been acting…different.”
“Different? Different how?”
“I call but she hardly answers. I go over to her place but she’s never there. Now she’s telling me she needs to find herself. Says she’s moving to Australia.”
Her fingers tightened around her cup. “I need to know what happened between you two. And I don’t care if that paints anybody in a bad light. I’m just worried about my daughter is all.”
I told her about the Google account.
“Did you confront her about it?”
“Hell no. I ghosted that crazy bitc—” I cleared my throat. “I mean, I just…stopped seeing her.”
She started crying so loudly customers at nearby tables paused their conversations. I touched her forearm, promised I’d call if I remembered anything else, then set off for my romantic weekend.
But while Jennie and I enjoyed all that fresh air and pub food, a thought nagged at me. Luna adored London, so why move to Australia? It seemed so out of character. Back at our rented cottage, I was so fixated on the thought I needed a smoke, badly.
“What the hell is that?” Jennie demanded, as she stepped onto the front deck.
I glanced at my hands. “Uhh, a cigarette.”
“Michael! Don’t be sarcastic. You know how I feel about those things.”
“…Do I?”
“Uhh, well it’s the same as anybody else. Quit poisoning your lungs and put that thing out.”
“Alright alright, geeze. Sorry Luna.”
“That’s okay.”
A knot formed in my stomach as she went back inside. I’d called Jennie Luna by mistake. And she hadn’t noticed. In fact, her reaction to me smoking was identical to Luna’s—even the snappy way she said the ‘poison your lungs’ line.
I followed Jennie into the lounge, where she’d curled up on an armchair with a Colleen Hoover novel. She was hiding something. What else did she know about Luna? Maybe I could trick her into revealing some details…
From behind, I started massaging her shoulders. “Sorry for being rude before. I know what you said came from a place of love.”
“That’s okay.”
I waited until her eyes drooped shut, then said, “It really is perfect here, huh? Maybe we should stay forever.”
“Wouldn’t that be amazing?”
Her little groans of pleasure, the rhythm of her breathing, it all felt so familiar. I waited until the tension in her neck dissolved, then I pushed my lips against her ear and whispered, “So how about we take this into the bedroom…Lola.”
“Hmm. Sure thing Bugs.”
My hands froze. Jennie jumped up. “Uhh, that felt so good, why’d you stop?”
“What did you just say?”
“What did you just say?”
“I called you Lola,” I replied, my arms frozen in midair. “And you called me bugs.”
“Like the cartoon, right? I thought it’d be a cute nickname. Anyway, I’m tuckered out.” She forced a yawn. “Why don’t we get some sleep?”
As her hand laced with mine, an image of me waking up drugged and gagged and tied to the bedposts flashed before my eyes.
I said, “Sure. I just…need to use the bathroom first.”
The second the door shut behind me, I flew out of the house, climbed in my car, and sped away.
Within seconds my phone started blowing up with calls, followed by texts. Where are you going? Is everything okay?
No, I wanted to reply. I’m onto your sick little game. Whatever it is, I’m onto it.
Luna stalked my stalker, now Jennie somehow knew Luna and I’s nicknames. How? Did all women take turns drawing straws and whoever picked the short one needed to become my girlfriend?
I couldn’t go home. For all I knew, my exes would’ve been there burning effigies of me. I needed a safe place. Somewhere I could lie low until I got all this straightened out.
“Of course you can stay,” Gertrude said over the phone. “I’m out with some friends, but I’ll meet you later. If you hop the side gate there’s a spare key under the kissing gnomes out back.”
Gertrude lived in a detached house in Wembley. It took a bit of foraging to find the gnomes hidden beneath the weeds in the brown, patchy garden.
I needed to shoulder the door open. Inside, a mountain of letters and flyers had piled up on the welcome mat.
Down the hall, a huge archway connected the landing with a lounge, where a bar sat against the far wall, surrounded by upholstered sofas, a low table, and tie dye sheets strung over the filthy carpet. Everything had a real elegant vibe, despite the musty air.
I’d drained two glasses of whiskey before Gertrude arrived.
“Looks like you’ve had a rough evening.”
I said we could talk in the morning.
“Not a chance. You can’t take negative energy to bed. Come on, confession is good for the soul.”
She sat on the sofa and patted the empty seat next to her. So, with a weary sigh, I shared a tale of deranged exes.
“Crazy,” she said.
“I sure can pick ‘em, huh?”
“No, I mean you’re crazy.”
“What?”
“Think about it. What’s more likely: that your ex’s are secretly in collusion, or you’re being paranoid? Look how bloodshot your eyes are. When’s the last time you got a good night’s rest?”
She made a great point; teenagers on the street occasionally shouted ‘Bugs’ or ‘Thumper’ at me. Jennie might’ve come up with the nickname herself. I pinched the bridge of my nose, groaning.
“Look, sleep here tonight. Tomorrow we’ll brainstorm ways you can make it up to Jennie.”
I fumbled through my pockets for a cigarette.
“Really?” Gertrude said. “If you insist on poisoning your lungs, can you at least do it away from my home?”
“Well if I can’t smoke, I’m gonna need a refill.” I shook my empty glass.
On my way toward the bar, a wave of wooziness hit me. My first instinct was to blame it on the alcohol, but there was something else.
It was her reaction to the cigarette. My finger ran through the thick layer of dust along the bar’s countertop. Why was it like the place had been abandoned? Why did Gertrude always pressure me to stay with my psycho girlfriends? And how come she always reached out, as if on cue, whenever my relationships hit problems? It couldn’t be coincidence…
I poured two glasses of whiskey and carried them to the sofa. “So, you’re really against the whole smoking thing, huh?”
“Of course. It’s a filthy habit.”
“Yeah. Plus, there was that mess with your husband. House fire, right?”
“I’d rather not discuss it.”
“Sure, sure.” I ignited the lighter with a roll across my trouser leg.
Gertrude grabbed a cushion and hugged it. “What are you doing?”
“Alright, cut the crap. What the hell’s going on? Have you been sending your friends to date me?”
“What are you talking about?”
I wrestled the cushion from her and held the lighter beneath it. “I want an explanation right now or I’m torching this place.”
This was an empty threat. I wasn’t some pyromaniac—I just wanted answers. Inch by inch, I raised the flame. “Last chance. Why are the women in my life acting weird?”
Gertrude grabbed for the lighter. As I swatted her wrists away, we both got scorched, and for a moment her skin went wild with spasms, a sensation I can only compare to reaching inside a bucket of wet, writhing maggots. My gaze whipped between her face and her hands, which vibrated like plucked guitar strings.
Before I could scream, she yanked me up, clamped a cold, wrinkled palm across my mouth, and forced me against the wall. I thrashed around, unable to move. For a lady old enough to collect a pension, she was crazy strong.
She waited until I ran out of breath, then said, “Michael, please. I’m not going to hurt you. Open your heart and listen.”
What else could I do?
“You were right before. I have been keeping a secret from you. The truth is, I’ve been in love with you since we met. I’d never flown before. And you were so so sweet. You started talking about this other woman, but I knew our energies were perfect for each other. And it’s like I always say, love makes us do crazy things. You can’t begrudge me that can you?”
She looked as if she expected me to respond, so I shook my head.
“But I think we’ve reached a point where our connection is so deep we can be completely transparent with one another.” She took a slow, steady breath. “Michael, all your ex’s, Luna, Sadie, Jennie. They’ve all been…well, me.”
I stared at her, confused.
She sighed. “It’ll be easier if I just show you.”
Out of nowhere her hand wriggled again, then her face tightened, as though the skin was being stretched over the bone. Wrinkles smoothed out and colour bled into her grey hair, turning it brown, and within seconds I found myself face-to-face with Jennie. Even her vintage clothes morphed into a green blouse and white slacks.
“See?” she said in Jennie’s voice, her now blue eyes locked on mine.
I screamed into the soft flesh of her palm.
“Sssh, it’s okay. I’m not gonna hurt you. Watch.”
Her entire body jerked and twitched, the muscles spasming as she shifted from Jennie to Luna. “See? Think of these as costumes”—from Luna to Sadie—"the important thing is what’s underneath. And you’ve fallen in love with what’s underneath three times. Now I’m going to let go, but I need you to promise you won’t overreact. Understand?”
On the verge of a panic attack, I nodded furiously.
The second she pulled away I made a break for the exit. The thing posing as Sadie grabbed me and hurled me backwards against the wall.
Like a disappointed teacher, she put her hands on her hips. “I’ve been so patient with you, Michael. So very, very patient.”
She blocked off any hope of escape. I sidestepped around the outer edge of the room, towards the bar.
“All those years moulding you. Trying to grow you into the man I know you can be. I really thought we had it this time. For the record, I wanted to do this the easy way. But drastic times...”
I was so scared I slammed right into the cabinet and yelped. Glass bottles chattered together, and then something wet ran down the back of my shirt. It was whiskey, leaking from the overturned bottle onto the carpeted floor.
Speaking more to herself now, Gertrude said, “I’ll just have to keep you here until you love me as much as I love you. Of course, that means posing as you so nobody gets suspicious, but that’s no trouble. I’ll tell your dad you’re moving to Italy. You always loved Italy.”
Pose as me? She'd been killing my ex's and taking their place, I was just the latest in a long line. She’d keep me as a personal sugar baby if I didn’t escape, but how? She was impossibly strong, and the only thing that seemed to scare her was…
Snatching the bottle, I doused the remaining whiskey all over the carpet and furniture. As I flicked the lighter open, Sadie’s hands shot up.
Bugs…darling…what are you doing?”
I took three slow, steady breaths. “Breaking up with you, you crazy bitch.”
I tossed the lighter forward. Within seconds flames sprung up all around us, spreading as far as the sofa. Sadie’s shoe caught fire, and as she stamped around, unintentionally fanning the blaze, her body writhed again, starting with the ankles. Fat boils climbed up every inch of exposed skin, milky white and with the consistency of frog spawn, like she’d had a killer allergic reaction to poison ivy.
She dropped to her knees, wailing like a wounded animal. This was my chance.
I made a break for the exit, giving the creature as wide a berth as possible. But as I got one foot planted in the hall something clamped tight around my ankles. My chin hit the floor, then I started sliding backwards.
I twisted onto my back. Where Sadie’s left arm should’ve been, a tentacle-like appendage stretched across the length of the room, a distance of over twenty feet. It reeled me toward her like a fish on a line. Whatever that thing was no longer looked human. It melted like an ice statue, with no bones or connective tissue inside, its lips nose and mouth becoming hideously elongated before dripping off in huge globs like melted candlewax. A fire alarm started wailing as the tentacle dragged me through the flames, scorching my arms and legs.
The loose mass of skin reached out and encased me like a mother bird sheltering its eggs.
“WHY WON’T YOU LOVE ME?” all my ex’s voices screamed at once. Whichever direction I looked, silhouettes of faces rose and fell, as if trying to burst through. Parts of them dripped inside my mouth, disgustingly warm with a bitter taste worse than Vaseline.
I put everything into clawing my way out if there. What was left of the beast had the consistency of wet clay and came apart just as easily. I tore away chunks until there was a hole large enough to squeeze through. Then, I crawled along surrounded by black smoke.
At the far side of the room I risked a glance back and saw a bumpy, uneven hand reaching out of a puddle of ooze. Soon I was crawling over the bristly welcome mat, then fumbling for the door. All I remember after that are paramedics wrestling me into an ambulance…
A specialist officer came to see me at the hospital the next morning. They’d been unable to contact the homeowner, Gertrude Huyton, and through his line of questioning I could tell they hadn’t found her ‘remains’ inside the charred house. Like the wicked witch of the West, my stalker had melted. I told the officer she said I could stay the night, and that I probably started the fire by dropping a cigarette.
“In that case, we’ll keep trying to reach her.” He walked to the curtain surronding my bed and paused. “Oh, and I almost forgot to mention, her cat is missing.”
“Her...cat?”
“Yeah. The little black one. One of the firemen pulled it out of the wreckage. The poor thing had burns over its legs but it ran off before anybody could take it to the vet.”
I swallowed a gulp and thanked him for telling me.
And now I’m still sitting here listening while nurses rush back and forth, terrified any one of them might be Gertrude…
submitted by lightingnations to nosleep [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 15:42 SimplyYulia Do you feel like it's harder for you to abandon trans label than for those who started younger?

So, I've been seeing a lot of binary trans people people who later in transition abandon label of trans entirely, go completely stealth and assimilate. A lot of heterosexual trans people really hate being called queer. My best friend (who is 19 and started transition like three years ago) has decided to completely disengage from trans community and just thinks of herself as a tall bi cis girl (with medical condition that requires bottom surgery)
I don't really feel I'm able to do that. I've started at 28 (which is not that late, so not even sure if I qualify for this subreddit, but it still seems to be later than a lot of people on main subs). Even ignoring the fact that a lot more people knew me pre-transition (I'm leaving country anyway) and that I'm still planning to stay "soft stealth" (like, not disclosing it unless really necessary, but also not really going out of my way to hide that). It's just too much of my life was shaped by me being a trans woman in repression/denial/closet. It made me who I am. When I talk about my past, I cannot just switch pronouns around.
I might be a straight(-leaning) binary woman, and this isn't really the most queer thing, but my experiences are queer experiences, and my attraction to men is queer attraction - it feels like that, and I've been repressing it for far too long, because society would hate me for it. I'm only 1.5 years in transition, and maybe ten years later I'll say something else, but right now I don't feel like I can just abandon this part of myself.
What do you think?
submitted by SimplyYulia to TransLater [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 15:38 Zephxan A full out fallout farming game : Survival apocalyptique farming sim

~Player always get better or cooler reward for helping other~
Player race - fiver options for customization
Ghoul
No radiation damage + slow regeneration + npc more mefiant and discrimination
Glowing ghoul =
No radiation damage + slow regeneration + npc shoot on sight need to convinced them you’re sane
Super mutant =
No radiation damage + Npc are scared and treat you like an idiot and discriminate
Synthétique =
The compount will hunt you down eventually
Human = no malus or bonus

Character background :
Ghoul / glowing ghoul : Old ghoul ; new ghoul ; vault
Human : Vault ; settler ; brotherhood ; institute
Super mutant: amnesiac
Synthétique : Railroad ; Mister handy (Miss nanny) Old, new, vault.
START
New arrivant decided to etablished themselves in an old farm close to the local town and become farmer.
First objectif :
- rebuilt home by scavenging in delapited town

Mechanics

Upgrade house by collecting enough scavenging material (metal, stone, tape, glue, etc…) and paid the town entrepreneur to do so.
Possibility to upgrade town by the same way : drinkable water ; defense ; radio tower ; museum ; school ; etc…
Defend home from wild attack (animal, raiders, super mutant, ect…) with gun and eventually autonomous turrets (later game) and engage mercenary to defed (late game). The more the player amass money, the more frequent the attack will be.
Scavenger will gossip about big event and some minor event that occurred in the settlement that you participated in.
Settlement gestion :
Thirst gestion.
Can recolt skin, meat (and bones?) of wild animal.
Can recolt material, used to very used weapond, (rarely) health item, (meat and corpse body parts?) on intelligent humanoïds ennemy
Carrying can either be by weight of the item or by the number of item player can carry.

Farming

Season : Spring (middle season) ; Summer (high season) ; Automn (middle season) ; Winter (low season)
Tool: Hoe ; Scynthe ; Watering can ; Pickaxe hamme
Base crop value vs transform product :
Spring : -- ++
Summer : --- +++
Automn : ++ --
Winter : +++ ---

Can sell crop and other to nearest settlement (help with settlement relationship at first) or to traveling marchant.
The river close to your home have fish in it. It take two day for fish to repopulate. If seasonal fish have all be take out, it will take two years
Can raise different mutated animal. Sell them to the town for meat (or kill them and sell them yourself ?) or keep them alive for animal product. (Animal have life span?)
Transform product : Wine ; beer ; jelly ; dried spice,meat, fish ; cheese ; mayo ; butter
Farm building :
- Wind mill
Crop seed that can be found in the town :
Seed you can buy for traveling marchants :
( - Flower and house plant seed ? (Aloes??))

Fight

No power armor for the player :(
Can buy stimpack and radaway from settlement healer or from scavenger in the town (for a more expensive price). When reach high enough relationship with healer, he will give you the recipe for both. The only way to regain life and get rid of radiation (sleep and food don’t heal). (Sickness (malus) if health too low for too long?)
Gain radiation by drinking
The main fight zone of the game is the town. In the edge : house, a small commerce (tiny to small dungeon) ; Closer to the center: Office, appartement (small to medium dungeon) ; Center : Commercial center, sky scrapper, (subway?) (normal to big dungeon.
Some raiders and some synth will drop their weapons and beg for their life if the health is low enough. Spare enough of them and you will receive letter from either : the minuteman ; the brotherhood or the railroad to thank you for sending more recruit their way. Two or three will regularly visit town.

Relationship

Can get a dog as a perm. Companion (can choose race?) (Can breed you dog and gitf puppy to the settlement?)
Npc relationship possible bonus :
- Discount (from marchant)
- Recipe
- Special cut scene
- (Sometime) help on the farm
Some npc love receving gift other will be inconfortable with it. But after (wedding?) no adverse reaction to receive gift.
MAX : 2 gift a week
Might meet some settler in the edge of the town, scavenging like you.
Cause of relationship decay :
There’s a vault “near” the settlement. Gain their trust by doing quest (# depend on race of the player). Once they trust you and when you become mayor, they will become full allied and allow circulation between their vault and the settlement.
Romanceable npc
- # Ghoul
- 1 Traveling npc
Special romance
- Mysterious stranger (need 10 Luck and insert condition)
Will randomly pop out of your house and pop back in. Will tell you about a lone wanderer, courrier or vault survivor he helped. Will come to your help in combat with baby in hand (if kid in the game)
Rival ? Date ?
If there’s kid in the game
Player will be able to have two kids. (Hatchling deathclaw will count as one if in a relationship with Deathclaw).
If player or spouse can’t have a kid (Super mutant ; ghoul ; Synth); player will get a quest about a raider camp in town. Discover all prisoner are dead except one human baby hidden by the body of his dead mother.
Quest reward : Congradulation you are a parent :D
If player can have kid; if spouse is a women, player will have to catter to their wife food craving (nothing with rare item) or face a penality in the relationship. If player is a women ; Malus in health, energy, slower deplacement and carrying capacity decrease the more and more the pregnancy advance. New choice of answer : pissed as fuck and hormonal. Spouse will insist to become a companion until end of pregnancy
Kid will go to school (town upgrade) for three day, help on the farm for three other and have a free day.

Stats

Strenght : carrying capacity (?) ; combat ; energy ; health ; defense
Perception : detect ennemy ; scavenging ; npc interraction
Endurence : health ; energy ; resistance
Charisma : batter ; persuasion ; Npc weariness ; # limit of resident npc in settlement
Intelligence : crafting farm upgrade (fertilizer ; spinkler) ; used weapon fixing
Agility : sneak ; weapon ; defense
Luck : loot quality ; gambling (?) ; crit chance (max starting points : 5)

Skill

Tree skill style possibility : Path of exile ; Outer world
Farming: Tilling - Watering
Fight: Heavy weapons- Light weapons- Melee
Defence : Dodge - Block
Stealth: Sneak- Lockpick - Hack
Endurance : Poison resistance - Radiation resistance - Thirst resistance
Persuasion: Batter - Intimidation - Persuation (?)
Scavenging : Deconstruct - Descerning eyes
Thinkering : Crafting - Engineering - Medecine
(Upgrade skill to upgrade stat? Once you upgrade a skill enough, it allow you to upgrade the stat?)

Quest :
Attempt murder on the player by the mayor once town upgrade and settler relationship high enough. Scare that they would lose their place to you to engage mercenary or try to poison you to keep their place. Force the mercenary to tell you who paid them or find a note on one of them or talk to the mayor after the attack (will be surprise to see you alive). You can :
- Bring him to justice and let the settler decide of his fate. (Will be possible to talk to him in prison)
- Execute him (will have to prove to the settler that this was auto-defense. Lose some relationship with settler)
Result : Become mayor next election!
Raides have created a camp close to the settlement. Remove them. Player will find two npc in cage. You can :
-Help them out
-Kill them inside the cage
Result :

You’ve find a mister handy (or miss nanny) in the town. Why not fix them?
Result : They will propose you to help you on the farm. Accept and they’ll start working the day after. Refuse and they’ll becom settler. (Possibility to make them synth when relationship high enough?)

Find a sorry scene : deadraiders; a dead deathclaw; a nest with two crushed egg a one intact egg. You can :
-Hatch the egg
Result :

The river close to your house is drying. Discover the reason. The river goes into a cavern and to a lake.
Result : new fish
There’s a thirsthy and hungry homeless man at the edge of the settlement. You can :
-Give him food and water for a week
-Let him there
-kill him
Result :
-They get back on their feet and eventually open an inn in town. Will sometime offer you free drink an talk to you about stranger he hepled by following your exemple.
-They will slowly die an talk with more and more difficulty. (Which led to kill him)
-Burry him and make a small tomb or let him root there. Will get eaten by wild animal.

Guiding an injured npc to the town
Result :??

The settlement don’t have enough food for the winter and ask for your help. You can :
Result :

Help to defend the settlement (before settlement defense upgrande)
Result :??

The scientist of the vault ## think they can help you rediscover old world crop see.
Result : new seeds :D

End game quest :
The vault now trust you enough to tell you about the G.E.C.K.S. The received one that ended up defective and never received the second. They want you to go to the vault building in the center of the town and see if you can find any information about it. Vault tower will be the most difficult dungeon in the game. Beat it to find that the G.E.C.K.S was sent to a second vault that was either unfinished or an experimentation. Go the the vault ## to discover that the G.E.C.K.S had taken some damage from bad condition and bad storage. Get all the item to fix it and either fix it yourself (no money cost) or ask to a vault scientist to fix it (+++ money cost)
Result : The map surrounding your house, the vault and the town will become more and more green with beautiful tree (Process will take ### day or month or years)
submitted by Zephxan to gameideas [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 15:36 JesusDaBeast Ignore this post if you want

I'm writing a recap of the beef in my own eyes, based on what has been shown out there.
If anyone sticks around to the end to read all this shit, if you have any comments on what I missed or should be edited, lmk. Also go touch grass.
* October 2023: Cole/Drake dropped First Person Shooter, which sees Drake take shots at Kenny and while he gives props to the Big 3, Cole also claims he’s the best rapper alive. The verse from Cole is a bit disingenuous, calling themselves the Big 3, but referring to himself as Ali and saying "me and Drizzy shits like the Super Bowl," which in turn refers to KDot as the third best in the group. Also calls himself "Muhammed Ali," who is considered the greatest to ever do it. In Jermaine's eyes, its Cole Drake Kenny.
* March 2024: Metro Boomin (rap producer) and Future drop “We Don’t Trust You,” an album which sees them take multiple shots at Drake. One song (Like that) features Kendrick, who is practically inviting him to throw gloves with Drake (and Cole). Responds to the Big 3 claims with "Fuck the Big 3, it's just Big Me." A lot of his verse is going at Drake directly, calling his best work a "Lyt pack," and playing up the MJ Prince comps with the "Prince outlived Mike Jack" bar.
* Two weeks later: Cole drops Might Delete Later, a 12 song EP. The last song (7 minute drill) is his response to Kendrick. However fans were pretty critical of his reply, with some claiming that as a diss it was pretty tame at best. Other fans claimed it was just a warning shot, and that it wasn't meant to be a diss back. A few days later, Cole apologized to Kendrick at Dreamville fest, and backed out of the battle. It is rumored that TDE member Schoolboy Q advised Cole to drop out of the beef, as it was between Kendrick/Drake, and it would get more personal.
* April 2024: 3 weeks after “Like That”, Metro and Future drop another album, “We STILL Don’t Trust You." This album features multiple artists who also throw disses at Drake. ASAP Rocky for dissing his BM, Weeknd calling out "leaks in the operation."
* A day after Metro/Future drop their 2nd album, Drake's “Push Ups” leaks online. This song clapped back at everyone that took shots at him on We don’t trust you, from Kendrick to Rick Ross to ASAP to Metro to Weeknd. In the song, Drake makes fun of Kendrick’s height, shoe size, his label split (supposedly he had to give TDE 50 of his publishing), and had a subtle jab at Kendrick’s wife Whitney.
* Drake also dropped a song that featured an AI voice of Tupac (Kendrick’s idol) and Snoop Dogg. Both west coast legends, but encouraging Kendrick to drop and stop being scared. A controversial track that was polarizing to say the least. Some fans praising its creativity in the rap beef, along with great verses from Drake. Others calling it disrespectful to a rap legend, and a bad precedent to allow AI in music. The Tupac estate ended up sending a C&D to Drake, who later removed the song from all socials.
(Note that here the public perception was for Kendrick to drop a reply, that Drake had come back correct with Push Ups and that if Kendrick was going to start a battle, he shouldn't duck when met with a reply)
* Two weeks after “Push Ups:" Kendrick drops “Euphoria,” which goes in on Drakes parenting ability, legitimacy in the rap game, and so on. A very solid dissection into the man we know as Drake, its a very good diss track that shows Kendrick's lyricism in full display. Also acknowledged that the industry is out to get Drake "wtf is this a 20v1," and told Metro to "shut yo hoe ass up and make some drums."
(He replied to this with an IG story of a merengue remix of that Metro bar, which was hilarious lmao. That and the band peforming outside Magic City in ATL were the funniest parts of the beef)
* A few days after, he followed up with “6:16 in LA" on Instagram. Not really a diss track in my opinion, it felt more like a track that had some warnings to Drake. Dot questions the loyalty of OVO and their legitimacy in the group, planting seeds of doubt in the mind of Drake. The cover this song is a black Maybach glove.
* Drake replied with “Family Matters” later that night, claiming Kendrick as a phony, attention whore, and worst of all a wife beater. Also claims that Dave Free (Kendrick’s manager), is the father of one of his kids. He drops this song with a full on music video, crushing the GKMC van, showing off the jewelry of rap legends like Pharrell and Pac, and so on.
(Honestly some of Drake's best work, and fans see it as such. Honestly some of his best writing since at least IYRTITL. That along with the beats make it a top 10 Drake song in my opinion. Some claim it's the best song in the diss. However, I just don't see it, for the reason I'm mentioning below:)
* Not even half an hour later: Kendrick drops “meet the grahams” which has heavy accusations. The cover of this song contains some of Drake's items. It includes: Ozempic/Adderrall/Zolpidem prescriptions, a receipt for the chains that Drake bought, presumably the ones in the FM video, and a visit card. Song claims Drake is a terrible person, has pedophilic thoughts/tendencies, runs a underground sex ring, and has a daughter that he’s hiding who’s at least 11 yrs old. It is a haunting track that sees Alchemist produce the beat.
(In my opinion, the clear turning point of this battle. For Kendrick to drop the time that it did, took the wind out of the sails that was Family Matters. And did it at a time where EVERYONE was reacting to it in real time. If the track didn't hit as hard as it did, it probably does not have an impact and Drake would have been the winner. Which is why IMO it's the best diss song in the battle. Despite the fact that daughter claims are mere allegations, he hit home on every other point that was made, with the cover art being proof of his verses holding truth. Which can't be said about any other diss in this battle, bar Euphoria.)
* He then dropped “Not Like Us” a day after FM/Meet the Grahams, which doubles down on the pedo claims, and also calls him a colonizer. This song is an instant hit and a West Coast banger, as it is currently the top song on the Billboard 200 as of the time writing this post.
(This song shifted the tide to "Drake is cooked" status. Prior to this song, people were still reeling from the back to back disses and asking that both sides bring receipts to the table. But with Not Like Us being a colossal hit, fans flocked to Kendrick's side. This track felt like the equivalent to a 3rd quarter run from the 2017 Warriors. Once it happens, you're done.)
To make matters worse, Metro also dropped a disstrumental called "BBL Drizzy," encouraging fans to drop a verse on the song, giving the winner 10k and a free Metro beat.
(Also a pivotal moment. If Drake wasn't losing the battle before, he lost the internet game with this combo. Now social media was clowning on him)
* A day later, Drake replied with "The Heart Part 6," a play on the The Heart series that Kendrick Lamar has. This song sees Drake claim that he set Kendrick up with fake information, and planted all this from the start. He also continues to apply pressure on the DV claims, and dispells the accusations made against him about him being a pedo. Also claims that he understands why Kendrick is so pent up, as Drake believes that Kendrick got molested as a child, referencing "Mother I Sober." Fans believe this track was a white flag of sorts, with the bars saying "You could drop a hundred more records, I'll see you later," and:
"That's why these pedophile raps and shit you so obsessed with, it's so excessive They actin' like it's so aggressive, but you just never known affection I don't wanna diss you anymore, this really got me second-guessin."
The last bar seems to question Kendrick's motives in the beef, and that Drake wants no parts in a battle that is really just projecting trauma. Regardless, the song was met with criticism for questionable lyrics and disses in the song. Shortly after, both sides alluded to move on, with Punch/Top of TDE declaring Kendrick the winner, and Drake saying "Good Battle, summer vibes up next," with the beef ending there.
submitted by JesusDaBeast to hiphop101 [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 15:34 SwaMaeg Wife (42f) has new prescription (BPD/bipolar med) that concerns me (44m) but has not shared about diagnosis or even having a new prescription; should I ask her about it? If so, how do I ask without seeming to violate privacy?

We’ve been married 15 years and have 4 kids.
Wife has history of various mental health issues — extreme anxiety, severe post-partum issues, depression, etc.
Within the last two months she started taking a new medication, prescribed by her psychiatrist, that is primarily for borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder. It’s front and center in our medicine cabinet. I just noticed it. I say primarily but as far as I can tell those are the only approved uses and I don’t see any common off-label uses. She’s never told me about having or being diagnosed as BPD or bipolar disorder.
Should I ask about it? If so, how would you suggest?
Within the last year or so she was diagnosed with PMDD Neither with the PMDD nor the newer medication has she said anything about it to me. I learned about PMDD from her family/friends indirectly. A friend of hers referred to potential side effects of the new medication she had just started recently - so I was similarly tipped off indirectly.
I’m very private about health matters myself. But I always share with her — just not with others outside of immediate family typically.
I’m glad she’s finally seeing a psychiatrist (but wish she was seeing a therapist too — which she was doing for a while).
The last few years have been terrible and often abusive emotionally and it is a relief to know she is privately figuring out (PMDD for example) that she has things to fix and I’m not crazy for objecting to behaviors of hers.
Im sure the unwillingness or inability to share diagnoses and reveal the vulnerability or “being wrong” is somehow part of the mental health picture. But it would be huge for me if she could just talk openly about what is going on — I worry that if I pry (eggshells etc) that she’ll blow up or even stop trying new medication. And, seriously, the last few weeks have shown improvement — much better than usual. I think this medication is helping.
I’m less concerned about her being private about health matters than making sure she’s addressing things. However, it seems obvious that not being able to tell me about medication or diagnoses is not good. We have four kids in the house and her mental health stuff doesn’t just affect me. Seems weird that friends but not husband know what she’s taking.
I don’t know if she’s been diagnosed with BPD (which, as a non-doctor seems like a match — but also stigmatized — her friends partner has it and she’s ripped on him for years about it and encouraged the friend to leave him because of it, for example). Or maybe it’s off label use for PMDD?
I think she should share with me what she’s taking and why. But I don’t want asking about it to backfire, turn into a crazy fight or set back her efforts to finally get some help. Seeking advice? Btw, I don’t want to mention her friend sharing about new medication because I don’t want to throw that friend under bus for over-sharing.
submitted by SwaMaeg to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 15:21 leafshaker Words of caution for ordering out: assume incompetence and lax adherence to law. Something of a rant, but I hope its instructional for new dairyfree folks

Its frustrating how complicated dining out is. Really has made me realize how much its a privilege; if my reactions were more serious I doubt I would ever eat out. Its not just about the food, either, there is a social and logistical cost, too. I really feel for people who experience that.
I feel bad being that customer, but I've been burned so many times. How do you navigate these issues?
-needing to literally define dairy at every interaction. I have to say "no milk products, cheese, or butter" Its not eggs.
-needing to explain to waitstaff to check every part of the meal. The bread, the sauce. The grill.
-labels, if they have them, can be misleading. Plant-based and dairy free certainly imply safety, but arent certain. Plant based can mean majority plant, and dairy-free can mean lactose free, and still contain other compounds
-the bread! So many places I go cannot tell me what is in their bread! Local places that get fresh local bread, its great, but no ingredient list. Fairly sure you need to know what you are serving people.
-missing out on other ingredients, because they assume I can't have eggs or mayo, or other people in the party getting something without cheese. Sorry buddy
-now that the group has had to listen to my multiple negotiations, the topic turns to why I'm dairy free and now the we're talking about my poo before dinner.
-cost. Cheese is usually factored into the cost, when I sub it out for avocado or grilled peppers or what-not, I'm often getting double charged, but at this point I've interrogated so much I can't really ask.
Have you found any short cuts here?
I've had luck with calling ahead during off hours, and (sadly) going with corporate places, and using online guides.
Its important that we speak up when we eat out, even those of us with more mild reactions. These places clearly need practice.
submitted by leafshaker to dairyfree [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 15:12 Extra-Place488 Tired of creepy man doing unhinged shit

I'd like to vent a little since this is mainly what this sub is for. I (20F) have been working as a gas station/truck stop clerk for almost 5 years. It was my first job and hopefully not my last. I've seen a lot of shit. A bag of dildos, someone who shat their pants and left their shitty underwear in the toilet for us to fish out, cum shot on the walls, crackheads doing crackhead shit, a trucker who literally had a heart attack in our parking lot, piss jugs, so many piss jugs, but the worst part of my job is by far, men. Now, I know know it's not all of them and most of the man clientel I have is so nice and fun to serve. However, the minority is very loud, annoying and sometimes scary. Here's just a few incidents that have made me genuinely uncomfortable and scared at times.
This is the only one that genuinely made me fear for my safety. I work evening shift form 16h-00h. I was outside taking out the indoor garbage bags when a trucker approached me. He was older, mabe late 40's. It was already dark out and being a women alone at night already makes me shit my pants. He told me he had a problem with his fuel card and asked for help. Thinking I'm just overthinking like always, I go instead of asking the guy i was working with to help him out. The fuel card reader is very far away from our building, who is already in the middle of the woods on the side of the highway. Once there, i put it in and it didn't seem to work as his fuel limit was exceeded. Now, he started on and on about how it just worked and that he wanted to show me the receipt from the day prior at a different gas station of the same branch as mine. We went back forth, him insisting I come close to his truck so I can check the receipt, me telling him that there's nothing I can do and to call his dispatch. He eventually grabbed my arm to lead me closer to his door. I pulled away and told him to leave me alone, throwing his card at him. He didn't seem to like that but my co-worker, who was smoking a cigarette outside, approached us and told him the same thing I did. The trucker didn't say much else and just left in his truck. I have no idea why he couldn't just grab the damn receipt from his truck and show me or why he felt the need to put his hands on me. Thankfully, my male co-worker was there
(sorry truckers I live you thank you for your hard work. My dad is a trucker and I know how hard you work. I have nothing against you)
We have this one trucker who is a semi regular. I don't know if he's missing some braincells but having a conversation with him takes years off my life. His only eye contact is with my tits and he just has that creepy smile stuck on his face. He's asked me about my love life, sex life, he's asked me to marry him, come wash him in the showers, he purposely gets Belmonts cigarettes because I have to bend down to get them, but I know for a fact his cigarettes of choice is Next since that's what he orders from my male co-workers and older workers.
I have much more stories but I'm realizing the post will be long as fuck so I'll get to the one that made me write this post.
I'm currently at work and I just had a man come in. Off the start, he was giving me creepy vibes. I'm sure the ladies know that one stare. I started serving him and something was just off with him. At the end of the transaction he ask me to shake his hand telling me his name, Alex, and told me I had beautiful eyes. I like getting compliments on my eyes, but I almost threw up in my mouth. After some more uncomfortable staring he walked off. He came back a minute later asking me for cash back. Charged him 1 cent so he could take out 30$. I was genuinely sweating at how uncomfortable it was. He then ask me for the bathroom, I told him down the first hall at the right. He asked me to show him. Red flags but it's my job so I took a few steps away from my podium and pointed at the hallway. A fucking 3 year-old could've found it so I knew something was off. He went and came back barely 10 seconds later, telling me he couldn't find it and to show him. As I was walking down the hallway, I realized he probably wanted to get me away from the front window of the store where a group of nice old men I had just served were talking outside. Once there, he took my hand and ask me if I could help him in there. Which meant some sexual or I don't know I'm still so fucking confused. I took my hand away, told him no, laughing. I hate myself for laughing. I wish I had more of a back bone but I was still trying to be nice. I walked off, not looking in his direction as I continued some paperwork I was doing. He left without saying much else.
I'm sure some of you guys have some more unhinged stories. I live in a very safe part of Canada and, outside of my work, I've only rarely encountered people who genuinely made me uncomfortable. I just genuinely can not comprehend how people think this is okay behavior. I'm not a monkey or a robot, i have fucking feelings. I only am nice to you because I get paid to do it, i'm not flirting with you. What passes through some of their minds to think this is something I would be comfortable with. I just don't understand. I hate it here. Also, fuck Alex
submitted by Extra-Place488 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 15:08 GoroTerror 30 [M4F] Rochester/Online- engineer, looking for someone connect to!

Hey there! I am a 30 year old guy from Upstate New York looking for someone that wants to make an emotional connection, and would like to put efforts into conversations.
A bit about me: I'm 6’1". I get height can be a big deal for some women so I think it's best to just put it out there first 😅 I've got black hair, brownish black eyes. Average body, I'm muscular and wanting to start exercising both for health and a little bit for better shape. I like to think I'm fairly attractive but then most of us grew up with a relative always telling us we were not handsome or cute, etc. we can share pictures once we establish some comfort zone. If education is important, I am a college graduate with post-graduation degree as well. Now working as an engineer.
I have to lead with the fact that I can be pretty sarcastic at times. I also joke and (playfully) tease. I'm pretty easy going/chill and I like to keep things light and fun, but also enjoy getting into the really deep conversations as well. I'm a sucker for the whole good morning and goodnight text thing as well as checking in on those busier days. That doesn’t mean we have to just message good morning and good night for the whole week. Haha. I think most important part of knowing someone via online platform is initial conversations and if you don’t have enough time let me know otherwise that conversation is dead in no time.
I love animals. I've always felt very connected and attached to them and just enjoy interacting with them. While I am more of a dog person pet-wise, cats are still pretty cool in my book. Cats are more complex though I love the mysterious nature.
Anything outdoors is great in my opinion. Just feel like going for a walk? Let's do it. I do kayaking a bit in the summers, fish, hike, go for drives. I have the habit of occasionally stopping and taking pictures of plants and flowers I see around (I'm always down to share!). While sending me message write code - “I3U” so that I know it’s someone who actually read my post. Didn’t write in the end cuz some people might just skip to end. This doesn’t mean that you just send me the code. I am strictly gonna monitor now. I have skimmed through soo many texts and my innocent heart always gives chances, I am gonna try to be little strict this time.
It's not just the outdoors I love. I can also get down with chill days at home binging something on Netflix or playing something on my PC. Let's face it, I'm a bit if a nerd (everyone has something nerd about themselves) and if you like Jurassic park, board games, Any Mafia movies, gaming, etc we will get along great. I'm a sucker for horror movies as well and am always looking for recommendations. I listen to a lot of music. I shouldn’t brag but I listen to english ,german, Spanish, french and Hindi songs. Born and brought up in India. Hence, hindi songs.
A bit about (possibly) you: I'd prefer if you were in some sort of professional environment and ambitious. I'm not extremely picky about things like hair and eye color. Height is also not a big deal. If you're alot smaller than me and worried that it's something you’ll be insecure about, it's not. The big thing for me is personality. I think personality can make us a lot more or a lot less attractive. I want someone that is genuinely kind and sweet, someone that likes to laugh, someone that's not afraid to be goofy.
A final note: I'm a single guy and looking for someone dynamic. Sometimes I can respond immediately and sometimes it takes a minute due to the obvious circumstances. I also don't expect you to respond immediately to every message, I get that we all have lives and can be busy at times. It would be awesome if you are up for a voice chat. And please please when responding write something about yourself.
If any if this sounds remotely interesting to you, feel free to reach out via reddit dm or chat!
submitted by GoroTerror to r4r [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 15:08 GoroTerror [30/M] - Searching for the one.

Hey there! I am a 30 year old guy from Upstate New York looking for someone that wants to make an emotional connection.
A bit about me: I'm 6’1". I get height can be a big deal for some women so I think it's best to just put it out there first 😅 I've got black hair, brownish black eyes. Average body, I'm muscular and wanting to start exercising both for health and a little bit for better shape. I like to think I'm fairly attractive but then most of us grew up with a relative always telling us we were not handsome or cute, etc. we can share pictures once we establish some comfort zone. If education is important, I am a college graduate with post-graduation degree as well. Now working as an engineer.
I have to lead with the fact that I can be pretty sarcastic at times. I also joke and (playfully) tease. I'm pretty easy going/chill and I like to keep things light and fun, but also enjoy getting into the really deep conversations as well. I'm a sucker for the whole good morning and goodnight text thing as well as checking in on those busier days. That doesn’t mean we have to just message good morning and good night for the whole week. Haha. I think most important part of knowing someone via online platform is initial conversations and if you don’t have enough time let me know otherwise that conversation is dead in no time.
I love animals. I've always felt very connected and attached to them and just enjoy interacting with them. While I am more of a dog person pet-wise, cats are still pretty cool in my book. Cats are more complex though I love the mysterious nature.
Anything outdoors is great in my opinion. Just feel like going for a walk? Let's do it. I do kayaking a bit in the summers, fish, hike, go for drives. I have the habit of occasionally stopping and taking pictures of plants and flowers I see around (I'm always down to share!). While sending me message write code - “I2U” so that I know it’s someone who actually read my post. Didn’t write in the end cuz some people might just skip to end. This doesn’t mean that you just send me the code. I am strictly gonna monitor now. I have skimmed through soo many texts and my innocent heart always gives chances, I am gonna try to be little strict this time.
It's not just the outdoors I love. I can also get down with chill days at home binging something on Netflix or playing something on my PC. Let's face it, I'm a bit if a nerd (everyone has something nerd about themselves) and if you like Jurassic park, board games, Any Mafia movies, gaming, etc we will get along great. I'm a sucker for horror movies as well and am always looking for recommendations. I listen to a lot of music. I shouldn’t brag but I listen to english ,german, Spanish, french and Hindi songs. Born and brought up in India. Hence, hindi songs.
A bit about (possibly) you: I'd prefer if you were in some sort of professional environment and ambitious. I'm not extremely picky about things like hair and eye color. Height is also not a big deal. If you're alot smaller than me and worried that it's something you’ll be insecure about, it's not. The big thing for me is personality. I think personality can make us a lot more or a lot less attractive. I want someone that is genuinely kind and sweet, someone that likes to laugh, someone that's not afraid to be goofy.
A final note: I'm a single guy and looking for someone dynamic. Sometimes I can respond immediately and sometimes it takes a minute due to the obvious circumstances. I also don't expect you to respond immediately to every message, I get that we all have lives and can be busy at times. It would be awesome if you are up for a voice chat. And please when responding write something about yourself.
If any if this sounds remotely interesting to you, feel free to reach out via reddit dm or chat!
submitted by GoroTerror to MeetNewPeopleHere [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 15:07 GoroTerror 30 [M4F] New York - engineer, looking for someone!

Hey there! I am a 30 year old guy from Upstate New York looking for someone that wants to make an emotional connection.
A bit about me: I'm 6’1". I get height can be a big deal for some women so I think it's best to just put it out there first 😅 I've got black hair, brownish black eyes. Average body, I'm muscular and wanting to start exercising both for health and a little bit for better shape. I like to think I'm fairly attractive but then most of us grew up with a relative always telling us we were not handsome or cute, etc. we can share pictures once we establish some comfort zone. If education is important, I am a college graduate with post-graduation degree as well. Now working as an engineer.
I have to lead with the fact that I can be pretty sarcastic at times. I also joke and (playfully) tease. I'm pretty easy going/chill and I like to keep things light and fun, but also enjoy getting into the really deep conversations as well. I'm a sucker for the whole good morning and goodnight text thing as well as checking in on those busier days. That doesn’t mean we have to just message good morning and good night for the whole week. Haha. I think most important part of knowing someone via online platform is initial conversations and if you don’t have enough time let me know otherwise that conversation is dead in no time.
I love animals. I've always felt very connected and attached to them and just enjoy interacting with them. While I am more of a dog person pet-wise, cats are still pretty cool in my book. Cats are more complex though I love the mysterious nature.
Anything outdoors is great in my opinion. Just feel like going for a walk? Let's do it. I do kayaking a bit in the summers, fish, hike, go for drives. I have the habit of occasionally stopping and taking pictures of plants and flowers I see around (I'm always down to share!). While sending me message write code - “I4U” so that I know it’s someone who actually read my post. Didn’t write in the end cuz some people might just skip to end. This doesn’t mean that you just send me the code. I am strictly gonna monitor now. I have skimmed through soo many texts and my innocent heart always gives chances, I am gonna try to be little strict this time.
It's not just the outdoors I love. I can also get down with chill days at home binging something on Netflix or playing something on my PC. Let's face it, I'm a bit if a nerd (everyone has something nerd about themselves) and if you like Jurassic park, board games, Any Mafia movies, gaming, etc we will get along great. I'm a sucker for horror movies as well and am always looking for recommendations. I listen to a lot of music. I shouldn’t brag but I listen to english ,german, Spanish, french and Hindi songs. Born and brought up in India. Hence, hindi songs.
A bit about (possibly) you: I'd prefer if you were in some sort of professional environment and ambitious. I'm not extremely picky about things like hair and eye color. Height is also not a big deal. If you're alot smaller than me and worried that it's something you’ll be insecure about, it's not. The big thing for me is personality. I think personality can make us a lot more or a lot less attractive. I want someone that is genuinely kind and sweet, someone that likes to laugh, someone that's not afraid to be goofy.
A final note: I'm a single guy and looking for someone dynamic. Sometimes I can respond immediately and sometimes it takes a minute due to the obvious circumstances. I also don't expect you to respond immediately to every message, I get that we all have lives and can be busy at times. It would be awesome if you are up for a voice chat. And please when responding write something about yourself.
If any if this sounds remotely interesting to you, feel free to reach out via reddit dm or chat!
submitted by GoroTerror to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 15:01 ibid-11962 Writing and Publishing Eragon [Post Murtagh Christopher Paolini Q&A Wrap Up #6]

As discussed in the first post, this is my ongoing compilation of the remaining questions Christopher has answered online between August 1st 2023 and April 30th 2024 which I've not already covered in other compilations.
As always, questions are sorted by topic, and each Q&A is annotated with a bracketed source number. Links to every source used and to the other parts of this compilation will be provided in a comment below.
The previous post focused on details about the writing of Murtagh. This installment will focus on The Writing and Publication of Eragon, including the early abandoned starts and drafts the preceded the self-published version and Christopher's journey towards getting traditionally published. In this post the topics are arranged in almost a chronological order. The next post will focus on the writing of the Fractalverse, and so will be posted on /Fractalverse.

Writing and Publishing Eragon

The Original Idea
[When I start to write a new book] I have an image. There’s always a strong emotional component to the image, and it’s that emotion that I want to convey to readers. Everything I do after that, all of the worldbuilding, plotting, characterization, writing, and editing—all of it—is done with the goal of evoking the desired reaction from readers. In the case of the Inheritance Cycle, the image was that of a young man finding a dragon egg (and later having the dragon as a friend). [10]
Who's your favorite character to write? Well, for me, it's the dragon Saphira. She's the reason I got into writing a dragon. She came first? She came before Eragon? Like she was the catalyst? The relationship came first, her and Eragon. [33]
I was specifically inspired by a YA book called Jeremy Thatcher Dragon Hatcher by Bruce Coville, which is a delightful book. I just loved that idea so much of finding a dragon egg, I was like, "Well, what sort of a world would a dragon come from?" And I knew I wanted the sort of bond between rider and dragon that Anne McCaffrey had, but I wanted the intelligence of the dragons that you find elsewhere, and the language and the magic. And I wanted sparkly scales because it just seemed like dragons are fabulous creatures and they ought to have sparkly scales. That's the fun thing about writing your own books. You can make them exactly the way you want to make them, and hopefully then that appeals to the audience as well. [30]
All of that kind of was swirling around in my head, and I wanted to write about dragons in a way that kind of combined a lot of elements in a way that, "I like this", and "I like this piece", and "I like this piece", but I kind of wanted to have all these different pieces in one type of dragon, and no one had quite done it exactly the way I wanted. [30]
I live in Montana, and our library is an old Carnegie or Rockefeller library, and especially back in the 90s, it didn't have that many books. So once I read all the fantasy in the library, I thought I had read all the fantasy there was to read. Because I was not the smartest kid in the world sometimes. And I kind of thought, "Well, it's the library. They have all the books that exist, right? All the books that matter are in the library." And I really had no idea what to read after that. So I decided to start writing myself and to try and write the sort of story that I would enjoy reading. And of course, what I enjoyed reading was books about flying on dragons and fighting monsters and having adventures. [35]
Reading and literature was always important in our family. My father's mother was a professor of comparative literature and wrote books on Dante and all sorts of stuff like that. Was the myths and folklore part of your life at this time? Yes, but I should clarify that it wasn't formally introduced to me. It was in the house. People weren't wandering around talking about. It was just like the Aeneid is sitting on the shelf. I would go read things. I have a great uncle. He's 90 now, my mother's uncle. Guy is still sharp as a tack. It's amazing. But he gave me a set of cassette tapes of Joseph Campbell, who did Hero of a Thousand Faces. So that was my exposure to his theories of the monomyth and the eternal hero and all sorts of things like that. That got me very much interested in and thinking about the origins of the fantasy that I was reading because I was reading Tolkien and David Eddings and Anne McCaffrey and Raymond Feist and Jane Yolan and Andre Norton and Brian Jaques, and all of these you know authors who were popular at the time. I was very curious where does this come from. Tolkien, of course, felt like sort of the origin in a lot of cases but then I was discovering that, there are earlier stories that even Tolkien was drawing from. That was really a revelation to me. I really sort of got enamored with it. A lot of fantasy is nostalgic and that appealed to me because I was homeschooled and my family didn't really have a lot of relatives in the area, so I felt very unmoored from the rest of society. I think I was looking for a sense of tradition or continuity with the past and fantasy helped provide that. That's an incredibly articulate thought for a 15-year-old author. Or has that come with age? No, it was something I was feeling at the time. You were conscious of it at the time? Well, listening to the Joseph Campbell stuff, I was looking: Where are our coming of age traditions? Where is the great quest to go on to prove yourself as a young adult, as a man? Where's the great adventure? What do I do in life? Those are all things that are part of the adolescent experience and always have been which is why so many mythic stories about coming of age deal with those questions. I think it's a universal thing. That's why Harry Potter, Eragon, Twilight, all of these have appealed so much because they deal with adolescence. They deal with finding your place in the world as an adult when you're starting as a young adult or a child. [28]
What games have taught you to be a better writer either in creating characters or worldbuilding or plotting even? All of my gaming experience was computer games, video games. One that had a huge influence on me was the old Myst series. Personally I love solving puzzles, so that's the first thing. And also the concept of the series, especially with the second game, Riven, it's all based around people writing books that create new worlds. And you get to go in them and solve puzzles and understand how that world works. And that just tickled every single part of my brain back in the day. Now, I'm going to be slightly unkind here, and I apologize if the author [David Wingrove] is listening to this, but there were a couple of novels based off of Myst. And I was such a fan of the series that I got the books, and I started reading them. And my first thought was, "I could do better than this." And so I decided to rewrite the first Myst novel. And I created a document in MS Word, and I got exactly three sentences into my rewrite. And I thought to myself, "okay, I think I can do this, but I could never sell it. So I better go write something of my own." And the next thing I did was Eragon. So video games kind of had a direct influence on me writing. But actually reading something that I felt was not particularly successful was such an inspiration. Because it was like, "this got published, I know I can at least get to this level." And it was published. And then maybe I can shoot for a little bit higher. [pause] I think some people have had that experience with Eragon. [26]

Early Abandoned Starts

I had the original idea, the concept of boy finding dragon egg, and I tried writing a couple of very short versions of Eragon when I was fourteen, and none of them panned out so I stopped writing for a while. [28]
Real World Version
What do you remember about the early days of writing “Eragon?” Originally, Eragon was named Kevin and the story was set in the real world. But I only finished around 10 pages. [16]
I wrote three versions of Eragon before I wrote the version that had the unicorn, which was the first major draft. The first version was set in the real world, and that's why he's named Kevin. And the reason it was set in the real world is I was inspired by Jeremy Thatcher Dragon Hatcher, which is set in the real world. [32]
I was specifically inspired by a book called Jeremy Thatcher Dragon Hatcher by Bruce Coville. By the way, Bruce knows this. If you haven't read it, it's a great book about this young man in the real world who, spoiler, goes into an antique shop and buys a stone that ends up turning out to be a dragon egg. And I really loved that idea of a stone that was actually a dragon egg and the young man becoming joined with the dragon. And so I tried writing the story. And I got exactly five pages or six pages into it and I ran into a brick wall, because a boy finding a dragon egg is a good event, but it is not a good story. And I needed to figure out what was going to happen after that. I didn't know that at first. [36]
Arya Opening Fantasy Version
But then I was going down the rabbit hole of, "Well, if there's a dragon, where did the dragon come from? What if it were an actual fantasy world where the dragons were native?" And then that led me to then write a second beginning--I didn't get very far with this--that was more of a traditional fantasy story, and it opened with Arya and a couple other elves escaping a dungeon with a big battle, and at the very end of the battle, they send the dragon egg away, and Kevin finds it. But I didn't have the rest of the story, so I stopped writing it in that format. [32]
So I tried writing a second version of the story. So the first version of that story I wrote was set in the real world. Second version was more of like a fantasy world. [36]
I had the original idea when I was fourteen. I even wrote an early version of the story where it was set in the real world. But I soon realized that it was a lot more interesting to have a dragon in a fantastical setting. [8]
Research Break
I tried writing before and I always failed because I would only get like four to six pages into a story and then I didn't know what to do next. And that was because I didn't actually have my story. All I really had were the inciting incidents, like a boy finds a dragon egg in the middle of a forest. Great. But that's not a story, that's just one event. What happens as a result? So before starting Eragon, I was very methodical about this. I read a whole bunch of books on how to write, how to plot stories. [35]
I realized I wasn't getting anywhere. And I didn't know how to do what I was trying to do. Now, fortunately for me, my parents had noticed that I was getting interested in writing. And all of a sudden, books appeared in the house. There was no comment, no one forced it, these just magically appeared, and I read them. Some of the books that were incredibly helpful to me were these books that were called The Writer's Handbook, which was a collection of essays published each year by The Writer's Digest magazine. I had one from 1998, and I had one from, I think, 1993, or something like that. And there were essays from Stephen King and John Grisham and I think Ursula Le Guin and all sorts of other authors about what it was like to be an author both professionally and creatively. And that was incredibly helpful to me because again, the internet was not a resource. But the book that really made the difference for me was a book called Story by Robert McKee. It's a book for screenwriters and it's all about the structure of story. And up until that moment, I had never really consciously thought about the fact that stories have structure and that you can control that structure for the effect on the readers. So I devoured that book and I said, okay, I'm going to try this again. [36]
Did you very much sit down and study structure and character development and etc? I did. It wasn't a formal course or anything, it's just that my parents started buying these books and they started showing up. In fact, I still have them here on my shelf. This bookcase to my right is full of research books, technical books, language books. I read a book called Story by Robert McKee, which is a screenwriting book, that was and often has been very popular in Hollywood. It's a fairly technical look at story structure. I would never say do everything he says because of course you shouldn't necessarily follow any one formula, but that book really got me thinking about the fact that stories do have structure, which I hadn't really thought about before that. And that one can control that structure, and that this gives you something to work with. Before Eragon, I tried writing a number of stories and I never got past the first four to six pages, ten pages, because I never had the plot. All I would ever have was the inciting incident which, in the case of Eragon, is a young man finds a dragon egg. Ok, fine, but that's not a story. So when I read that book, then I was like wow, so I can control the structure of this. [28]
The problem with all of my early writing was that I’d get an idea and just start — I didn’t actually have a plot. But I was a pretty methodical kid, so I started reading about how to write. Fortunately, my parents are observant, and these kinds of books magically began appearing in the house. And I read all of them. [16]
Unused Arya Outline
So at this point, I was 15, that's when I graduated from high school and I was very methodical about it because I hate failing. So I said, okay, I'm going to create a fantasy world. And I did that. And then I said, I'm gonna plot out an entire book in this fantasy world. And I did that too. And then I said, but I'm not gonna write this. This is just a thought exercise. I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna stick it in a drawer. And I still have that to this day, that world and that story, I still have it sitting in a drawer somewhere. [36]
Then I spent some time and I created an entire fantasy world and I plotted out an entire fantasy novel in that world and I did not write it. I just stuck it in a drawer and that's where it's been sitting for 25 years now. And then I just did that to prove to myself that I could plot out an entire book. [35]
Before writing Eragon, again I was very methodical even as a teenager, I created an entire fantasy world. Wrote pages and pages about the worldbuilding, and then I plotted out an entire story in that world just to prove to myself that I could plot a story, create a world, and then I didn't write it. I put it aside. I still have it all saved. Put it in a drawer. [28]

Kevin

Writing The First Full Draft
And then I decided okay now I'm going to plot out a trilogy, because all great fantasy stories are trilogies. I'm going to do it as the heroic monomyth, because that is, at least my understanding back then, is this is one of the oldest forms of stories. I know it works on a general sense. It's going to give me a safety net, and then I'm going to write the first book as a practice book just to see if I'm capable of producing something that's three, four, five hundred pages long. And that's what I did. That was about two and a half months of worldbuilding, plotting, creating this. Then I wrote the first book and that was Eragon. That was my practice book. I never actually planned on publishing Eragon. It was only after I'd put so much work into it and my parents read it that then we proceeded with it. I was aware of story structure. I continue to read lots of books on it. [28]
And then version three is the version that everyone generally knows. And that's where I spent the time to plot out the whole series before writing, because having a idea of where you're going seems to help with the writing, at least for me. Usually. [32]
I originally saw Eragon as a practice novel, which is part of why it’s a very typical hero’s story. I knew that structure worked and it gave me the safety net I needed. [16]
The first draft went super fast. It went really fast because I had no idea what I was doing. And I just wrote that sucker. I wrote the first 60 pages by hand with ballpoint pen, cause I didn't know how to type on a computer. And then by the time I typed all that into the computer, I knew how to type. I did the rest in the computer. But this was back in the day when computers were fairly new. We had a Mac classic, which only had two megabytes of RAM. And the problem is that the operating system chewed up some of that memory. And my book file was around two megabytes large. So I actually had to split the book into two because I couldn't open the whole file on the computer or the computer would crash. So I had to open half the book and then close that and then open the other half. [35]
The First Draft
Once I finished the first draft, I was super excited and I thought, "well all of these things on how to write say that you should read your own book and see if there's any tweaks you wanna make." But I was really excited because I was getting to read my own book for the first time, and I thought this is gonna be awesome. And it didn't take very long while reading it to realize that it was awful. It was horrible. And just to give you an idea of just how bad that first draft was, in the very first draft of Eragon, Eragon wasn't named Eragon, Eragon was named Kevin. And there was also a unicorn in that first draft at one point, so you know it wasn't very good. [35]
If I heard correctly as I was reading, Eragon wasn't originally called Eragon? No, in the first draft of the book he was called Kevin. There's a reason! Look I have an explanation for it, okay. The explanation is that my original inspiration was Jeremy Thatcher Dragon Hatcher which is set in the real world. The original version of Eragon that I was developing was set in the real world and when I decided that it would make more sense to have a world where the dragons were native to and switched it over to this fantasy world and began to develop that, I just kept the name that I'd been working with, which was Kevin. Naming a main character is hard, especially when you get used to a certain name. I don't want to say I was lazy. I want to focus on the world building and writing the first draft and I'll worry about the name later. [28]
There is an early version of Eragon that no one's seen, that even my editor at Random House never saw. And that was my first draft. And in that first draft, Eragon encountered a unicorn in the Beor Mountains on the way to the Varden. And the unicorn touches him and essentially affects the transformation that he goes under during the blood oath ceremony with the elves in the second book, in Eldest. And his whole storyline with the Varden once he gets to Farthen Dûr is completely different because now he has these abilities and he and a team of people ends up getting sent on a scouting mission in the dwarven tunnels to go find the Urgal army and then they have to flee back through the tunnels to warn everyone of this huge army and I had a underground cave full of lava, and multiple shades, and a huge Urgal army. There was there was a lot of dramatic stuff. Finding the Ra'zac in Dras-Leona was completely different. This is the draft where Eragon was named Kevin. [32]
I haven't thought about that version in ages. I think Arya was awake all the way from Gil'ead to Farthen Dûr in that version. That's right, I had to completely rewrite that. It's an unpleasant ride for her. No, no, no, she was awake and healed. She was awake. That's right, God, I had to rewrite most of the last chunk of the book now that I think back, it's been a long time. [32]
The worst thing is, I think Kevin would actually take a larger budget [to adapt to film]. No, stop. Why would Kevin take a larger budget? Because the battles were bigger, there was more stuff going on. Seriously, there were more creatures, more travel. Yeah, I think Kevin would actually take more money than Eragon. [32]
You said that Eragon's name was originally Kevin. Was Eragon's name originally Kevin? It was. And I really regret I didn't stick with it because I think that as many books as I've sold, the series would have been at least twice as successful if it had been about the adventures of the great dragon writer Kevin. Especially just seeing Kevin on the front cover. Imagine the appeal to the modern youth. Kevin the dragon writer. I mean Eragon, it's confusing with Aragorn. Oregano. Oregon. But Kevin, Kevin stands out, Kevin's original. That's why I had to move away from it. [31]
Releasing the Kevin Cut
So do you wanna share some of those drafts with us, Christopher? Just kidding. Well, I actually had a fan reach out to me. He's one of the big members of the online fan community on Reddit and elsewhere. And he's kind of interested in some of these early versions from almost an archivist point of view, a scholarly point of view. Which is certainly an interesting idea. I mean, there is an early version of Eragon that no one's seen, that even my editor at Random House never saw. ... I cannot describe how much the Internet absolutely needs for you to put out an edition of Eragon that just says Kevin. Should this be like Mistborn or Way of Kings Prime? This is the Kevin edition of Eragon. The Kevin cut. Oh my god. It's "Eragon: Kevin's Version". ... We absolutely need Kevin's Version of Eragon. That's something we need. It's bad. It's bad. Look, there are certainly people who can look at Eragon, the version we have now, and say, "we can tell this was a younger writer." I look at it and I can tell. I could do so much more now with the material than I could then. But if you think that about the published version of Eragon, man, if you saw the unpublished version, the early version, it really is the raw writing of a homeschooled 15-year-old, who wrote a 500 page book about Kevin. I don't know, the internet is very unhinged these days. They would love this. It needs to exist somewhere on the internet. [32]

Publishing

Editing
So I wrote Eragon, and then I read the first draft and it wasn't particularly good, so I spent a good chunk of a year rewriting it as best as I could. I didn't know what I was doing but I was trying. I've heard it said that being displeased with your own work is actually a good thing because it means you know what is good work, and if you're not happy with your work because it's not good, it means you could at least have a goal to shoot for. If you read your work and you're like this is the best thing that's ever been written, you're never going to get any better. [28]
But I could see that the book needed work, so I decided to try to fix it as best I could, and I spent the better part of that year revising, rewriting, changing Kevin to Eragon. And then I gave the book to my parents and fortunately for me, they actually enjoyed what I had done. And they said, we think you have something, let's try to take it out into the world and see if anyone else wants to read it. [35]
Self-publishing
[We] decided to self-publish the book as a joint venture since we didn't know anyone in the publishing world. That was again a good chunk of a year where we were editing the book as best the three of us could. Preparing it for publication, formatting, I drew the cover. [28]
Now you have to understand, my parents were always self-employed, have always been self-employed and we were always looking for things we could work on together as a family business. And Eragon was like the perfect opportunity for that. They'd had some experience self-publishing a couple of small educational books my mom had worked on. Because she was a trained Montessori teacher, and so she was trying to use that expertise to write some material herself. But I don't even think we sold 100 copies of those. So we spent another good chunk of a year preparing the book for publication with doing more editing, doing the layout, designing the cover. [35]
The first set of 50 books showed up while we were watching Roman Polanski's Macbeth, which seemed fitting because those first 50 books were all miscut from the printer. And as a result, we had to rip the covers off, send them back for credit from the printer, and then burn the insides of the books. So we had a proper book burning in our yard, and I actually saved some of those burnt pages just as a memory of that event. [35]
Self publishing wasn’t as viable then as a pathway to a career as an author as it is today. Why did it work for you? Everything completely changed because of e-readers. If you wanted to read an e-book, you had to have a PDF on your computer. There were no distribution systems like Amazon and Barnes & Noble. Back then, the lowest amount you could print and not have the book be too expensive was probably about 10,000 copies. But we were fortunate because print-on-demand had just become a thing, so books were just printed as needed. Self publishing is a lot easier these days. Of course, today’s marketplace is a lot more crowded as a result. [16]
Promotion
My family and I were going around the western half of the United States with the self-published edition of Eragon. I was cold calling schools, libraries, and bookstores to set up events. I was doing two to three one-hour long presentations every single day for months on end at various times. You have to understand that because my parents were self-employed, the time they took to help prepare Eragon for publication was time they weren't working on other freelance projects that would have been bringing in money. So by the time we actually had Eragon printed and in hand, if it had taken another two to three months to start turning a profit, we were going to have to sell our house, move to a city, and get any jobs we could. Because of that financial pressure I was willing to do things I probably would have been too uncomfortable to do otherwise. Like doing all those presentations. [28]
We were doing a lot of self-promotion. I was cold calling schools and libraries and talking them into letting me do presentations. And that worked pretty well because the librarians could take pre-orders for us. If we went into a bookstore, by hand selling, I could maybe sell anywhere between 13 to 40 books in a day. 42 was like the best I ever did, but usually it was around 15 or so books, which just didn't cover printing costs and travel and food and all of that. But going into the schools, we were doing about 300 books a day, which was excellent. [34]
Can you tell me a little bit about how you and your family self-published the first Eragon book and what marketing strategies you did? Oh, it was all nepotism, you know. I wouldn't have gotten published without my parents. There's nothing as powerful as a publishing company that's four people sitting around a kitchen table in the middle of rural Montana. So yeah, without Nepotism, I wouldn't have gotten published. You have to embrace something like Nepotism if you really wanna succeed in today's world. In fact, people don't realize that you actually get a Nepotism card. There's a secret club. You go to New York and there's huge network opportunities. There's branches of the club everywhere, especially strong in Hollywood, of course, in music. Taylor Swift is an example. So if you can get into the nepotism club, I won't say you're guaranteed success, but you got about 80% chance of actually making it that you wouldn't have otherwise. Do you think your mom and dad would be willing to be my mom and dad? No, absolutely not. No, no. You don't have brown hair, so it doesn't work. You have to have brown hair to be a Paolini. Okay, I'll try to find a different way in, I guess. [31]
Getting traditionally published
So you were very much looking for that partnership? Well we were wary. But the thing is is we were selling enough copies of Eragon that to scale it up we were going to have to start duplicating all the things that a regular publisher does. We were actually looking at partnering with a book packager or a book distributor just to get more copies out. To do everything a traditional publisher could do for me was a huge amount of work so it made sense to pair with Random House or someone else at that point. But it was still nerve-wracking because the book was being a success and then handing it off to another company, we didn't know if it was just going to end up in the remainder bin two weeks after it came out. [28]
People in the book world were starting to take notice because of course, if you've been to public school, you may remember the Scholastic Book Fairs and all of the Scholastic reps in the different schools were seeing me come to the schools and selling these books and hearing the kids talk about it. And it was getting attention. So we would have gotten a publisher, I would have gotten a publisher eventually. [34]
The book sold enough copies and bounced around enough that we'd heard that Scholastic—because Scholastic does all the Book Fairs in schools in the US—was interested and that we might get an offer from them. Before that happened though... [34]
Eventually another author by the name of Carl Hiaasen ended up buying a copy of the self-published edition of Eragon in a local bookstore. Which now that I'm older, I'm rather shocked at because it takes a lot to get me to buy a self-published book. It's got to look really good. [35]
Carl Hiaasen wrote the young adult book Hoot as well as many adult books. He comes up to Montana, I think he's got a vacation home here in the valley, but he was up here fly fishing and he bought a copy of Eragon for his then 12 year old son, Ryan. And fortunately for me, Ryan liked the book and Carl recommended it to Random House and it sort of bounced around among the editors for a couple of months before my editor-to-be grabbed it and said, "Yes, we will. I want to take a chance on this teenage author and we're going to offer him money for a trilogy that only exists in his head and see what happens." [34]
How did you find an agent? We had the offer from Random House, and like two days later, we had the offer from Scholastic. And so we knew we didn't know what we didn't know. My dad participated in some online self-publishing forum sort of thing. So he posted up a question and said, look, this is the situation we're in. Does anyone have any advice? And another one of the members said, "well, I was just at this publishing writing conference and there was this young agent there and I was really impressed with his presentation, or him talking about the industry." So my dad got his information online and did what you're never supposed to do, which is he called the agent directly and left this long rambling voicemail message because it was lunchtime in New York and you take your lunch breaks in New York. And only at the end of the message did he say, "oh, yes, and by the way, we have two competing offers from two publishing houses." And when I asked him, I said, "why did you do that?" He said, "well, because if he's any good as an agent, he's going to listen to the whole message before he deletes it." And we found out later that he nearly deleted the message. Because my dad started off like, "I got this teenage son, and he's written this book", and yeah, that, OK. So it was like two hours later we got a call from Simon. And Simon said overnight me a copy of Eragon and if I like it I'll represent you. And Simon has been my agent for 21 years now. [34]
It was a big risk for Random House. And it was a big risk for me because the book was successful, self-published, and we knew that giving it to a publisher, you lose the rights to a degree, and most books don't turn a profit, and it could have just ended up in the remainder bin. So what really worked in my favor is that Random House, and specifically Random House Children's Books, and specifically the imprint of Knopf, which is where I'm at were looking for their own Harry Potter, essentially. Scholastic was publishing Harry Potter. And Scholastic also gave me an offer for Eragon, but I could tell that Random House was the one that really loved the book and Scholastic was doing it because they thought it was a good business opportunity. Scholastic actually offered more money than Random House. But I went with Random House and it was the right choice. And I found out after the fact that Chip Gibson who was the head of the children's department at the time basically chose to use Eragon as sort of something to rally the troops and put the entire children's division behind it, and I was the very fortunate recipient of that love and attention. Which of course would only get you so far if people didn't enjoy reading the book. But fortunately for me, they did a great job marketing it and then people actually enjoyed the book. Which is why when people ask me how to get published, it's like, what am I supposed to say? The answer ultimately is you write a book that people want to read, and that's a facile answer, but it is true. If people want to read it, it makes everything else easier. The agent wants you, the publishers want you, and ultimately the public wants you. [34]
And I didn't realize how much was behind that email, because large publishers do not just casually say, "hey, we want to publish your book". There was a whole plan there, and they had a plan. And so they did. Eragon came out and then I had to figure out how to write a book with everyone expecting the sequel. [36]
So you kind of went and peddled your books at schools, as I understand, right? It seems to have paid off though, because it eventually landed in the hands of bestselling author Carl Hiaasen, but not right away. First, your book got in the hands of his stepson, and the kid liked it so much that he told Hiaasen about it, who then got Eragon fast-tracked with Penguin Random House. I really admire the way that you went for the weakest links, manipulating the minds of our youth and using them to shill your book for you. It's a tried and true marketing strategy from Girl Scout Cookies to coupon books, and I applaud you for your ingenuity. My biggest question here is, do you pay Carl Hiaasen's stepson the agent royalties he so rightfully deserves? He tried to collect one time, but I had to hire a couple of guys to drive him off. But, no, you always go for the weakest link. Back when I was self-published and all that I even tried to get Eragon reviewed by Entertainment Weekly, so I called up the subscription number on the back of the magazine and told them I'd made a mistake and asked them to transfer me over to corporate, and managed to get right to their book reviewer and tried to talk him into reviewing Eragon. So you always go for, as you said, the weakest link. Which is corporate. Ryan, Carl's son, though, yeah, I probably owe him a ridiculous amount of royalties. I'd say so. He made you. Oh, he did, absolutely. Without him, I'd be nothing. I guess the lesson here for aspiring authors is that it's not really about finding your target audience, necessarily. You just have to find your target prolific author's stepson and let the kid take it from there. Yeah, absolutely. As I said, that's part of the nepotism package. The sort of networking inside the industry. This is the stuff that you can never access otherwise, and you'll never get published otherwise. So it's not like you can just grow up in the middle of nowhere in Montana, self-publish a book, and then just become a success, by promoting it. You have to have connections. That's genius. I think you could have had an incredible career in designing loot boxes for mobile games based on how good you are at manipulating the world. Absolutely, microtransactions are God's work. [31]
Gaining Confidence
Was anxiety something you felt moving to this deal with Random House? Was that quite pressuring? Yes, it was a big change to go from writing for yourself as a teenager, homeschooled, living in the middle of nowhere, to knowing that there was a large audience for your next book and that they had expectations. I got criticized quite a bit, critiqued quite a bit when Eragon came out for, shall we say, my lack of experience on the technical side of things with the writing. I'd say some of those were certainly fair critiques. The great advantage of youth is that you don't know how difficult things are and you have a lot of energy. The great disadvantage of youth is you don't have experience, and there's no fixing that aside from time and effort. All of that was definitely in my head when I really started work on Eldest and it was pretty nerve-wracking quite honestly. [28]
When you finished the book, I mean your parents believed in it obviously. Did you too? Or were you like, "You know what, maybe the second book, maybe go all in on the second one?" I didn't feel like I was actually an author until my third book was published. Because the first one, well, that could be a fluke. Well, the second one, yeah, but you know. But once the third book came out, then I was like, okay, maybe I'm actually a writer. But even then, even after I finished the series, I still felt like, okay, now I have to write something that's not Eragon, just to prove that I can. So every book has been its own challenge and has been a way for me to keep feeling like I'm growing as an artist and learning to become a better and better writer. [2]
It took me, I wanna say almost 10 years to feel like I wasn't an imposter and that it wasn't just gonna get yanked away. You know what my dream was when Eragon was was going to get published by Random House? Like this was my pie in the sky because I didn't think it was going to happen. But this was my dream. I did all the math and I was like, man, if I could somehow someday sell 100,000 books, which is impossible. But man, if I could sell 100,000 books, that's a darn good living. Man, I could really make a living off that. I could support a family and 100,000 books. Man, that'd be amazing. And then it kind of took off from there. [33]
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2024.05.19 14:40 ThatOneEvilTwin What would you advice me for quitting something for the second time, because i'm losing fun and it is messing with my personal interests?

Hey guys!
Disclaimer 1: I originally wrote a post which I just scrapped, because it would have been not quite fitting, because my story was very long and it involves depression and i don't want to post a sob story as it is not allowed - I am here to look for advice, so i'll cut it down to whats really necessary. If something is missing or you would like to know something feel free to ask me under this post.
Disclaimer 2: Please excuse me if my english is not perfect, I'm a foreigner. If there are any questions coming up due to a language barrier feel free to ask them under this post.
Disclaimer 3: I know making a decision like this is not always easy. I don't want any of you to take that decision for me, I'm generally looking for advice to my situation.
About me:
I'm a 27 year old male, currently studying Media Engineering at my local university, i am about 6 semesters in, tho not even close to that with the classes I took and the classes i should have taken. My biggest hobbies are video games, wrenching and informing myself about cars and predator fishing.
Highschool:
I got my highschool degree at a local highschool, which focuses on design and media engineering. After graduating I wanted to start an apprenticeship in media, as messing around with cameras, editing and design software aswell as programming have been a big part of me during my teenage years. Fast forward: Even with sending out a ton of applications within one and a half year I failed to get the apprenticeship I wanted.
In the meantime I worked gastation jobs for a bit until I got a fulltime job in a car factory of a big manufacturer - partially in production, partially assissting mechanics in QA and repair. This was a student-job (eventhough fulltime), so they sadly could only give me a timed contract, which I was able to extend twice until they had to cut down student jobs. This job is gonna have an important role later on. During this job i had the time of my life.
Apprenticeship:
After failing to get the apprenticeship I wanted and the next starting time for apprenticeships coming closer I decided i have to take an apprenticeship which was more or less an emergency solution. Once again fast forward: I quit that apprenticeship because I hated the job and part of the company, which was foreseeable as it was just an emergency solution.
University:
While working some part time jobs again I saw a university course my local university had to offer, which was media engineering and basically what i wanted to do as an apprenticeship before. This was right about when covid hit the world, just for reference.
In the first 2 semester I really enjoyed everything. I got more involved with programming, 3D but also 2D art and started getting closer toward game development - because you know, i love video games, but i also started to notice that I generally lost almost all interest I had in videogames, even playing them so also university started to become more and more a chore for me. I started only taking one class over the course of 2 semesters and started to lack motivation. I started hating everything about working on it, especially the more and more it would come to a professional level it just wasn't what I imagined and had fun with anymore.
After taking less classes and even one semester off i started to notice i had fun with videogames as a freetime activity again.
Now:
Over the course of the past months I still continued wrenching whenever there was something to do on my car or my family members cars that I could fix on my own. I also love to teach myself about it. Thats where the job at the car factory comes in. I never had the feeling that while I was working with cars that I couldn't do it in my freetime, i still enjoyed it in my freetime. Even family members told me that they could really see me in that field while i was working on cars and that they saw that i really enjoyed it.
Two weeks ago i spoke about random stuff with my neighbor, who is about same age as me, and working for a car shop as a mechanic in my area. He told me that they were having trouble finding apprentices for this year and offered me a job aswell. (Struggleing to find apprentices or skilled workers over here this is really a sad normal case nowadays in trade jobs)
I kind of started thinking more about it and could also really see me working in that trade and also talked to one of my sisters about it, who wasn't opposed to it.
What would you guys advice me to do? I'm just really unsure about quitting something for the second time. Theres always coming a lot of judgement with it, especially from those people around who got to do what they love after just getting it first try. In general I think I'm really not too old yet with only 27 years of age, but also not the youngest anymore, as I graduated highschool already 7 years ago. I'm not really close to a university degree that I would say i have to finish it, i would say i'm about halfway done only.
I generally am a big fan of doing what you love to do and not doing something you don't love, since it accompanies you for a big chunk of your lifetime.
I may be naive, but well this is how I feel about this situation.
Thanks ahead for all the comments already!
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2024.05.19 14:34 Fun-Spring-9956 my bestfriend is angry i am friends/reconciling w her ex.

the title sounds terrible, so let me explain. me and this guy, lets call him beck, dated for over a year, and we eventually broke up due to infidelity on his part. then, 4 months after we had broken up, he started talking to a girl, ill call her ashley. ashley and i didn’t know eachother, but she hated my guts. beck and i remained friends, and we’d text about ashley and my boyfriend at the time. just for advice, sometimes i’d sell to him, but we weren’t too close in a way that would upset ashley any more. one night at a party, i had let it slip that beck texted me he had missed me (before they got together) and she heard and confronted me. i told her everything, and we became somewhat friends. she soon after broke up with beck, and we just hit it off. same sense of humour, everything. we didn’t bond over beck really, just over our own personalities. after my boyfriend and i at the time broke up, beck and i became closer as we had the same class. ashley saw this, and said i was betraying her, as if beck and i weren’t friends the entirety of the time ever since our breakup. i tried to explain that it felt unfair that i was being labelled as betraying her when beck and i had been friends before her and i ever were, and she didn’t seem to understand. i told her i acknowledged and cared for her hurt, that i adored her and didn’t mean to look as if i were intentionally hurting her, but she told me i needed to just cut him off. beck and i were friends before lovers, we met in middle school and had been friends all throughout highschool. it seemed unfair. now, beck and i have recently started talking again, and she sees it as betrayal. i love ashley. shes a great friend. but i feel as though it’s something between beck and i, not her and beck, if that makes sense. i understand it is hurtful, and i feel terrible, but she seems to push aside that beck and i have our own history. i’m trying to be there for her as much as i can and tell her i understand its hurtful, but there’s nothing i can do. advice or opinions?
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2024.05.19 14:26 Sweet-Count2557 Best Things to Do in Montauk Ny

Best Things to Do in Montauk Ny
Best Things to Do in Montauk Ny Welcome to Montauk, where adventure and relaxation await.As avid explorers, we've compiled the best things to do in this charming seaside town.From historic landmarks like Montauk Point Lighthouse, to picturesque beaches such as Ditch Plains and Hither Hills State Park, there's something for every traveler's taste.Indulge in luxury at Gurneys Star Island Resort & Seawater Spa, or immerse yourself in local culture at Deep Hollow Ranch.Quench your thirst at Montauk Brewing Company and feast on fresh seafood at Gosman's Dock.Montauk truly offers the freedom to create your perfect getaway.Key TakeawaysMontauk offers a variety of outdoor activities and attractions, including the Montauk Point Lighthouse, Montauk Point State Park, Camp Hero State Park, and Ditch Plains Beach.Visitors can enjoy beautiful ocean views, engage in water sports, go hiking or fishing, and explore historical sites in Montauk.The area also offers luxurious resorts and spas, such as Gurneys Star Island Resort & Seawater Spa, as well as unique experiences like horseback riding tours at Deep Hollow Ranch.Montauk is known for its local craft brewery, Montauk Brewing Company, as well as fresh seafood restaurants and shops at Gosman's Dock. Visitors can also explore local farmers markets for fresh produce and artisanal products.Montauk Point LighthouseWe absolutely love the rich history and breathtaking views offered by the Montauk Point Lighthouse. As one of the oldest lighthouses in the United States, it stands proudly on the easternmost tip of Long Island, New York. Constructed in 1797, this National Historic Landmark is a must-visit attraction for anyone exploring Montauk.When you arrive at the Montauk Point Lighthouse, you'll be greeted by its iconic white tower and picturesque surroundings. Step inside and embark on a guided tour to learn about the fascinating history of this maritime beacon. Explore the museum, which showcases artifacts and exhibits that highlight the lighthouse's significance. Don't forget to visit the gift shop to pick up some souvenirs to commemorate your visit.After immersing yourself in the history of the lighthouse, take a moment to soak in the captivating oceanfront views. The panoramic vistas of the Atlantic Ocean are simply breathtaking. Feel the cool sea breeze on your face as you gaze out towards the horizon.As you leave the Montauk Point Lighthouse, you'll be eager to continue your exploration of this beautiful area. Luckily, just a short distance away, you'll find Montauk Point State Park. This expansive park encompasses 862 acres and offers a wide range of activities and amenities for visitors to enjoy. So, let's head over to Montauk Point State Park and discover even more things to do in Montauk!Montauk Point State ParkLet's explore the expansive Montauk Point State Park, which encompasses 862 acres and offers a wide range of activities and amenities for visitors to enjoy. Here are five reasons why you should make a stop at this popular attraction:Picnic tables and playgrounds: Take advantage of the park's amenities and enjoy a relaxing picnic with your loved ones. The park offers plenty of picnic tables and playgrounds for children to enjoy, making it a perfect spot for a family outing.Fishing and stand-up paddleboarding: If you're a fan of water activities, Montauk Point State Park has got you covered. Grab your fishing rod and cast your line in the park's fishing areas, or try your hand at stand-up paddleboarding and explore the beautiful coastline.Stunning scenery and ocean views: Prepare to be captivated by the breathtaking views Montauk Point State Park has to offer. As you explore the park, you'll be treated to stunning scenery and picturesque ocean views that will leave you in awe.Hiking trails: Lace up your hiking boots and hit the trails at Montauk Point State Park. With a variety of trails to choose from, you can immerse yourself in nature and discover the park's diverse wildlife and plant species.Wildlife watching: Montauk Point State Park is a haven for wildlife enthusiasts. Keep your eyes peeled for a variety of bird species, including ospreys and peregrine falcons, or spot seals lounging on the rocks along the shoreline.Montauk Point State Park is a true gem on the eastern tip of Long Island, offering a little something for everyone. Whether you're seeking adventure, relaxation, or simply a connection with nature, this park has it all. So pack your bags and get ready to explore the beauty and freedom that Montauk Point State Park has to offer.Camp Hero State ParkCamp Hero State Park, located on a sprawling 754 acres, offers a captivating blend of historical significance, outdoor activities, and scenic beauty.As one of the premier destinations for fishing, the park boasts hiking trails, a beautiful beach, and opportunities for shopping and dining.From exploring the park's rich history to immersing oneself in the stunning natural surroundings, Camp Hero State Park has something to offer every visitor.Historical Significance and PreservationCamp Hero State Park, spanning roughly 754 acres, offers a fascinating glimpse into the historical significance and preservation of the area. Here are some highlights:Historic Military Base: Camp Hero was once an active military base during World War II and the Cold War, and remnants of its history can still be seen today.Bunkers and Coastal Defense: Explore the park's iconic bunkers and coastal defense structures, which played a crucial role in protecting the coast during wartime.Historical Interpretive Signs: Learn about the park's history through informative interpretive signs placed throughout the area, providing insights into its military past.Nature Trails: Take a stroll along the park's nature trails, where you can enjoy the serene beauty of the surrounding landscape while learning about the area's natural history.Scenic Beach: Relax on the park's beautiful beach, which offers stunning views of the ocean and a peaceful atmosphere.With its rich history and natural beauty, Camp Hero State Park offers a unique experience that combines historical exploration with outdoor recreation.Now, let's move on to the section about outdoor activities and recreation.Outdoor Activities and RecreationWe can explore a variety of outdoor activities and recreation options at Camp Hero State Park, such as hiking, beachcombing, and birdwatching. This sprawling 754-acre park offers something for everyone, with its beautiful beach, scenic trails, and abundant wildlife. Whether you're a nature enthusiast or simply looking to enjoy the great outdoors, Camp Hero State Park has it all. Take a leisurely hike along the well-maintained trails and immerse yourself in the stunning natural beauty of the park. Beachcombing is also a popular activity, allowing you to discover shells, stones, and other treasures along the pristine shoreline. And for those who enjoy birdwatching, the park is home to a wide variety of bird species, providing an excellent opportunity to observe and appreciate these feathered creatures in their natural habitat.Outdoor ActivitiesRecreation OptionsHikingBeachcombingBirdwatchingScenic Beauty and ViewsOur favorite part of Camp Hero State Park is its breathtaking scenic beauty and views, making it a must-visit destination. Here are five reasons why you should experience the stunning vistas at Camp Hero State Park:Cliffs overlooking the Atlantic Ocean: Stand atop the rugged cliffs and gaze upon the endless expanse of the majestic ocean.Rolling hills and lush greenery: Take a leisurely stroll through the park's picturesque landscapes, surrounded by vibrant vegetation and rolling hills.Pristine sandy beach: Enjoy a relaxing day at the beach, where the soft sand meets the cool ocean waters.Panoramic views from the bluffs: Hike up to the bluffs and be rewarded with panoramic views of the surrounding coastline.Spectacular sunsets: Witness the beauty of the setting sun as it paints the sky with vibrant hues, creating a truly magical experience.Camp Hero State Park truly offers an escape into nature's beauty, where you can immerse yourself in the breathtaking scenery and enjoy the freedom of the great outdoors.Ditch Plains BeachDitch Plains Beach offers miles of sandy shoreline and is renowned as a top-rated surfing destination. As we step onto the beach, the salty ocean breeze instantly fills our lungs, creating a sense of freedom and adventure. The crashing waves beckon us to dive in and experience the thrill of the ocean.With its wide expanse of sand, Ditch Plains Beach is perfect for sunbathing and picnicking. We can spread out our beach towels and soak up the sun's warm rays, feeling the sand between our toes. Lifeguards patrol the beach, ensuring our safety as we enjoy the refreshing waters.For those seeking a more active day at the beach, Ditch Plains offers excellent swimming and fishing opportunities. The clear blue waters are inviting, inviting us to take a dip and cool off from the summer heat. As we swim, we can't help but marvel at the beauty of the surrounding coastline and the vastness of the Atlantic Ocean.However, it's surfing that truly sets Ditch Plains Beach apart. With its consistent waves and strong swells, this beach attracts surfers from all over the world. Whether we're beginners looking to catch our first wave or experienced surfers seeking an adrenaline rush, Ditch Plains Beach provides the perfect playground. The crashing waves provide an exhilarating challenge, allowing us to ride the ocean's power and feel the freedom that comes from conquering nature.Ditch Plains Beach isn't only a paradise for surfers, but it also offers a sense of freedom and escape for anyone who visits. The expansive shoreline, the endless horizon, and the crashing waves all combine to create an atmosphere of boundless possibilities. It's a place where we can let go of our worries, embrace the present moment, and experience the pure joy of being alive.Hither Hills State ParkLocated on the beautiful Montauk peninsula, Hither Hills State Park offers a stunning beach facing the North Atlantic Ocean and a variety of outdoor activities such as hiking, skiing, and paddleboarding. Here are five reasons why you should visit Hither Hills State Park:Campgrounds and Nature Trails: Immerse yourself in the beauty of nature by camping at Hither Hills State Park. With spacious campgrounds surrounded by lush greenery, you can enjoy a peaceful night under the stars. The park also features well-maintained nature trails that allow you to explore the diverse flora and fauna of the area.Pristine Beach: The beach at Hither Hills State Park is a true gem. With its golden sands and crystal-clear waters, it's the perfect spot to relax and soak up the sun. Whether you want to take a refreshing swim or simply lounge on the beach, this idyllic setting won't disappoint.Hiking Trails: Lace up your hiking boots and hit the trails at Hither Hills State Park. The park offers a variety of hiking trails, ranging from easy strolls to more challenging treks. As you traverse the trails, you'll be rewarded with breathtaking views of the ocean and surrounding landscapes.Skiing: During the winter months, Hither Hills State Park transforms into a winter wonderland. With its gently sloping hills and well-groomed trails, it's the perfect place to enjoy cross-country skiing. Glide through the snowy landscape and marvel at the beauty of the park in winter.Paddleboarding: For those seeking a more adventurous experience, paddleboarding is a must-try activity at Hither Hills State Park. Explore the calm waters of the North Atlantic Ocean and enjoy the tranquility of the surroundings. Whether you're a beginner or an experienced paddler, this activity is sure to provide a memorable and invigorating experience.With its stunning beach, diverse outdoor activities, and serene atmosphere, Hither Hills State Park is a true paradise for nature lovers and adventure seekers alike. So pack your bags, embrace the freedom of the Montauk peninsula, and embark on an unforgettable journey at Hither Hills State Park.Lake MontaukWhen it comes to Lake Montauk, there's no shortage of boating and fishing options. The lake's sandy beaches and bustling marinas make it the perfect destination for water sports recreation.Whether you're looking to go fishing, boating, or jet-skiing, Lake Montauk has it all. Additionally, the waterfront attractions like restaurants and shops provide the perfect setting for a scenic cruise or a leisurely stroll along the lake.Boating and Fishing OptionsOne of the best boating and fishing options in Montauk is Lake Montauk, where we can enjoy sandy beaches, bustling marinas, and the opportunity to go fishing, boating, and jet-skiing.Here are some highlights of what Lake Montauk has to offer:Sandy beaches perfect for sunbathing and picnicking.Bustling marinas with a wide range of boats and watercraft.Excellent fishing opportunities, with a variety of fish species to catch.Exciting boating experiences, from leisurely cruises to thrilling water sports.Jet-skiing adventures for those seeking a more adrenaline-fueled experience.In addition to these activities, Lake Montauk is also home to waterfront attractions such as restaurants and shops, where you can enjoy delicious meals and browse for unique souvenirs.Waterfront Attractions and ShopsOur favorite part of Lake Montauk is its waterfront attractions and shops, where we can indulge in delicious meals and browse for unique souvenirs.The sandy beaches and bustling marinas offer a picturesque backdrop for a day of water sports recreation. Whether it's fishing, boating, or jet-skiing, there's something for everyone.The waterfront restaurants serve up mouthwatering dishes made with fresh seafood caught right from the lake. After a satisfying meal, we love exploring the various shops and boutiques, where we can find one-of-a-kind treasures to bring back home.And for those looking to relax and take in the scenic views, there are scenic cruises available to enjoy the beauty of Lake Montauk from a different perspective.With its vibrant waterfront atmosphere, Lake Montauk is a must-visit destination for those seeking freedom and adventure.Scenic Cruises and RestaurantsWe love taking scenic cruises and dining at the restaurants along Lake Montauk, as they offer a delightful combination of breathtaking views and delicious food.Here are some highlights of what you can expect:Sandy beaches: The lake boasts beautiful sandy beaches where you can soak up the sun and enjoy the cool breeze.Bustling marinas: The marinas along Lake Montauk are filled with boats and yachts, creating a lively and picturesque atmosphere.Fishing: Whether you're a seasoned angler or a beginner, the lake offers excellent fishing opportunities for various species.Boating and jet-skiing: Explore the lake's crystal-clear waters by renting a boat or a jet ski and enjoy a thrilling adventure.Waterfront restaurants: Indulge in mouthwatering seafood and other delectable dishes while overlooking the serene beauty of Lake Montauk.Gurneys Star Island Resort & Seawater SpaLocated on a private island, Gurney's Star Island Resort & Seawater Spa offers us stunning ocean views and a wide range of luxurious amenities. This luxurious resort and spa is the perfect destination for those seeking relaxation and rejuvenation in Montauk, NY.As we arrive at Gurney's Star Island Resort & Seawater Spa, we're greeted by the breathtaking beauty of the ocean surrounding the island. The resort boasts a private beach where we can lounge under the sun and take a refreshing dip in the crystal-clear waters. For those looking to unwind even further, the resort offers a tranquil pool area where we can lounge on comfortable sunbeds and enjoy poolside service.When it comes to dining, Gurney's Star Island Resort & Seawater Spa doesn't disappoint. The resort features several on-site restaurants and bars, offering a variety of culinary delights and refreshing beverages. From fresh seafood to gourmet cuisine, there's something to satisfy every palate.For those seeking ultimate relaxation and pampering, the resort's spa is a must-visit. With a wide range of spa services and wellness activities available, we can indulge in massages, facials, and body treatments that will leave us feeling refreshed and rejuvenated.Gurney's Star Island Resort & Seawater Spa truly offers us the freedom to escape from the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Whether we choose to relax on the private beach, indulge in delicious cuisine, or pamper ourselves at the spa, this luxurious resort provides the perfect setting for a truly memorable getaway.Frequently Asked QuestionsWhat Is the History Behind the Montauk Point Lighthouse?The history behind Montauk Point Lighthouse is fascinating. Constructed in 1797, it's a National Historic Landmark and a must-visit attraction in Montauk, NY.The lighthouse offers guided tours and houses a captivating museum. You can explore the gift shop, which sells souvenirs.The highlight is the breathtaking oceanfront views that will leave you in awe. This historic landmark is a testament to the rich maritime history of the area.Are There Any Fees for Entering Montauk Point State Park?Yes, there are fees for entering Montauk Point State Park.The fees vary depending on the time of year and the type of vehicle.For pedestrians, the fee is $10 per person.For vehicles, the fee is $10 for cars and motorcycles, and $20 for buses and RVs.There is also a fee for fishing, which is $8 per person.These fees help support the maintenance and conservation of the park.Can Visitors Swim at Ditch Plains Beach?Yes, visitors can swim at Ditch Plains Beach. It's a top-rated surfing destination with miles of sandy shoreline.The beach provides amenities such as lifeguards and beach wheelchairs. It's perfect for sunbathing, picnicking, swimming, fishing, and of course, surfing.The captivating ocean views and the sound of crashing waves make it an ideal spot for water enthusiasts.What Are the Amenities Available at Hither Hills State Park's Campgrounds?At Hither Hills State Park's campgrounds, there are a variety of amenities available for visitors. These include well-maintained campgrounds, where you can pitch your tent or park your RV.You'll also find nature trails, perfect for hiking and exploring the park's beautiful surroundings.Additionally, the park offers easy access to a stunning beach facing the North Atlantic Ocean.Whether you're into camping, hiking, or simply enjoying the beach, Hither Hills State Park has something for everyone.How Can Visitors Access Lake Montauk's Waterfront Attractions?To access Lake Montauk's waterfront attractions, visitors can take advantage of the sandy beaches and bustling marinas. Whether you're into fishing, boating, or jet-skiing, there's something for everyone.Plus, you'll find waterfront attractions like restaurants and shops that offer delicious food and unique souvenirs.And if you're looking for a scenic experience, don't miss out on the opportunity to take a leisurely cruise on the lake. It's the perfect way to relax and enjoy the beauty of Montauk.ConclusionAs we bid farewell to the beautiful town of Montauk, we can't help but reflect on the adage, 'Time flies when you're having fun.'Our journey through historic landmarks, picturesque beaches, and luxurious amenities has been an absolute delight.From the captivating views at the Montauk Point Lighthouse to the adrenaline rush of surfing at Ditch Plains Beach, Montauk has truly captured our hearts.So, until we meet again, remember to seize every moment and cherish the memories made in this charming seaside town.
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2024.05.19 14:25 ConsequenceWest2080 27 and still figuring it out

Hi all -
I (27F) have entered my first dating relationship that has gone past a few dates as an adult and I’m unfortunately feeling like a fish out of water. I’m currently on week 6 of getting to know someone after being extremely content to be single for the last 5 years. I am hoping to gain some insight before I make any further decisions on what I want/am looking for.
At the beginning of April, I matched with 27M and after a couple days of chatting we met up for drinks. Since then, we have seen eachother almost everyday with the exception of a few days and a trip that 27M previously had planned with his family.
Here are the details:
•We live 30 minutes apart but he drives to see me at some point throughout the day whether after work or at some point during the weekend and I would say until 2 weeks ago it was mostly him initiating.
•We have spent time hanging out at home, going to the gym, going on a hike, eating out, getting drinks/going to happy hour
•He is very physically affectionate and sweet with his words - compliments are common.
•at the very beginning he paid for everything and now it’s a bit more equitable because I have insisted
•He took a clear nterest in learning things about my life. Whenever I randomly would mention something tough or a bit hard (not to be evasive but not to delve too much personal info too quickly) he would gently ask to know more and be very supportive in his response.
•We don’t text all day but we have communication daily
•He does mention the future often (3+ mos advance) and it is more so ideas “we can do this/we can go here/next time”. He does consistently bring up the same ideas
•He shares details about his family, his days, his friends without me having to ask
•We are intimate but not every time we see each other
•He and his family are immigrants and he has been up front about the pressure they put on him/expectations they put on him to be married/have kids m and he has openly communicated (not in a DTR convo) that he doesn’t want to think about marriage for another 2 years ish
•we have not DTR’d
•we have not met each others friends
Here is where I’m getting stumped:
I am personally not in a rush to be in a marriage-focused relationship. I am very content to continue to get to know eachother in the trajectory we’re moving and let things happen organically, especially because he has gently but consistently pulled the pace during this experience. The problem is that I am constantly inundated (without even having to look!) with the terms like “situationship” and constantly seeing all of these saying rules that people swear by that are making it hard to navigate this relationship without being fearful of all these added things people suggest/swear by etc. I want to disregard them and live my life and but i admittedly have such little relationship experience that part of me wonders if i feel resistance to these things because i am simply unaware.
Ultimately, before i decide on whether to DTR (not necessarily to be bf/gf but to just check in) I want to have a clear picture of what I’m working with with this person and be made aware of any signs that I am not aware of that I should be aware of.
Do you see any red flags? Yellow flags that I can keep an eye on? Green flags? If you’ve been in a similar experience, how would you navigate it? Do you need anymore info?
I am somewhat new to posting on Reddit so my apologies if I have done something wrong!!
*edited for formatting
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2024.05.19 14:13 smallcapsteve Behind Putin Visit, Unease in Beijing Over His Potential Next Stop: North Korea

In the days leading up to Vladimir Putin’s just-finished visit to China, speculation rippled through diplomatic circles that the Russian leader planned to tack on a trip to North Korea—a possibility that irritated Beijing, according to diplomats and other officials with knowledge of the matter.
Chinese leader Xi Jinping has felt growing unease as ties between Putin and North Korean leader Kim Jong Un—two of his most important but also most volatile international partners—have grown more intimate, the diplomats and officials said. A combined visit to China and North Korea by Putin could also have reinforced Western fears of a trilateral authoritarian axis, leaving Beijing diplomatically more isolated, they said.
To China’s relief, Putin didn’t head to Pyongyang straight from the northern Chinese city of Harbin, just some 460 miles away from the North Korean capital.
On Saturday, Putin’s spokesman Dmitry Peskov told Russia’s state news agency, TASS, that arrangements for a visit by the Kremlin leader to North Korea are progressing well. “Preparations for the visit are under way,” Peskov said. He didn’t announce a date for the planned trip.
It couldn’t be determined whether Beijing exerted any pressure on Moscow ahead of Putin’s meetings in China, his first foreign trip after starting a new term earlier this month. But the Chinese side has made clear to the Kremlin that Beijing’s preference is to develop bilateral ties, as opposed to more of a three-way alignment that Russia has previously floated.
“China is avoiding the optics of a trilateral cooperation among the three countries,” said Yun Sun, director of the China program at the Stimson Center, a Washington think tank. “The goal is to avoid being locked in by two unpredictable partners.”
Putin in September accepted an invitation from Kim to visit North Korea. An analyst from the Russian International Affairs Council think tank in Moscow, which has close ties to the Kremlin, wrote in a recent analysis that after the meeting with Xi, the Russian leader “will consider the possibility of visiting a number of other non-Western capitals,” including Pyongyang.
The diplomatic dance among the three countries, which share an interest in dulling the U.S.’s influence in the world, has grown more complicated as Kim has sought to reduce his country’s reliance on China—most dramatically by wooing Putin with public support and weapons for the Russian war effort.
Since Beijing and Moscow declared a “no-limits friendship” just weeks before Russia’s invasion of Ukraine in February 2022, China and Russia have built on a trade relationship that has become a lifeline to Putin in the face of Western sanctions. Washington and its European allies say China has helped Russia revive its military production by providing it with drone engines and other dual-use material—products Beijing labels as part of its “normal trade.”
Still, facing pressure from the Biden administration, Xi has refrained from offering weapons to Putin, according to U.S. and Ukrainian officials.
As the Russian war against Ukraine turns into a drawn-out conflict, Putin has instead turned to North Korea to help restock his depleted armory. Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin told lawmakers earlier this month that North Korea’s munitions and missiles helped the Russians “get back up on their feet.”
Both countries have denied arms exchanges, including a rebuttal from Kim’s sister issued in state media on Friday.
Russia and North Korea have kept Beijing in the dark about what was discussed when Putin and Kim met for a rare summit in the fall, leading Chinese diplomats to ask their Western counterparts about what was agreed between the duo, according to people familiar with the matter.
Beijing worries that Russia might help China’s erratic neighbor build up its nuclear capabilities, the people said.
Russian analysts who follow Moscow’s relations with Pyongyang said Kim’s visit to Russia last year was a landmark event that allowed North Korea to overcome its foreign policy isolation and Russia to continue its pivot to the East.
“China is very worried about this new entente,” said Dennis Wilder, a former U.S. intelligence officer and now a fellow at Georgetown University.
Wilder noted that Beijing, while not willing to try to slow the Kim regime’s missile or satellite launches, has appeared to weigh in to persuade Pyongyang to hold back from conducting another nuclear test. “China wants a North Korea that presents a latent threat in Northeast Asia while maintaining the status quo,” he said.
Putin last visited Pyongyang in 2000 when he went for discussions with Kim’s father, Kim Jong Il, in a trip that was telegraphed by Moscow as demonstrating to the West the reluctance of the Kremlin to join the collective ostracizing of North Korea. On that trip, Putin traveled directly to Pyongyang from Beijing.
Analysts who follow Russian-North Korean relations say Kim has to tread carefully because he needs to preserve ammunition stocks for the defense of his own nation should there be an all-out war on the Korean Peninsula. But Kim is eager to have Putin in his corner, as a possible resource for improving his missile and nuclear programs, the analysts said.
“Broadly speaking they have immediate desires of each other,” Derek Grossman, a senior defense analyst at the global policy think tank and research institute Rand, said of Putin and Kim. “So it is, I think, a quid pro quo, if you want to look at it through the lens of the war in Ukraine and the lens of what North Korea wants to do vis-à-vis South Korea and Japan and the U.S.”
One reason why Xi didn’t want Putin to add Pyongyang to his itinerary following his trip to China lies with Beijing’s strategic intention to prevent China from being grouped into an axis that could deepen a demarcation in geopolitics—particularly in Northeast Asia, with China, Russia and North Korea on one side and Japan, South Korea and the U.S. on the other.
It is little secret in either Beijing or Pyongyang that the relationship between Xi and Kim is less trusting than the ties previous Chinese leaders had with Kim’s father, who was more intent on maintaining stability while challenging the West. The younger Kim since coming to power in 2011 has carried out more than triple the number of missile tests than his father and grandfather combined.
Those kinds of activities make China nervous because Beijing is eager to maintain the strategic buffer zone in North Korea in relation to South Korea, which is aligned with the U.S. and Japan. To do this, Beijing needs stability.
But Kim looks like he is more willing “to rock the boat” than his father, which worries Beijing, Rand’s Grossman said.
During Putin’s latest visit to China, he and Xi issued a joint statement with a relatively lengthy section accusing the U.S. of escalating tensions on the Korean Peninsula. The statement urged Washington to “abandon intimidation, sanctions and suppression” of North Korea.
The Chinese and Russian leaders also pledged to intensify their cooperation. Andrew Belousov, the new Russian defense minister, was with Putin on this trip, which analysts say signaled military cooperation likely was at the top of the Russian’s leader’s agenda. In recent months, Moscow has spoken of the benefits of stepping up joint military exercises between the two countries.
For Moscow, what Pyongyang can provide beyond the war in Ukraine is limited, and strengthening the bilateral relationship with Beijing for economic support will be much more valuable to Putin, said John Everard, a former U.K. ambassador to North Korea and Belarus.
“North Korea is not a priority for Putin,” Everard said. “North Korea is just having a wild fling with Russia.”
https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/world/ar-BB1mDStd
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