Graduation dinner prayer

I’ll try to put in as much information as possible, but I’m not sure anything can even be done as I’ve already been kicked out as of 4 months ago, and I turned 18 in December of last year.
My mother died of breast cancer in October of 2019, and she was my primary parent, she had nothing money wise left for her kids as she had been fighting cancer for months and wasn’t able to work. My father was not in the picture. My aunt(SAHM 30) and uncle(30) in law on my dad’s side took me and my younger sister in, she was 10, I was 14. They also have their own child, who is very young, she mightve been 4 when we came?? But For majority of that time it was absolutely horrible, not because my mom died, but because the people who took us in are emotionally abusive and manipulative. They even admitted that they never wanted me or my sister in the first place.
My dad died from drug overdose April of 2022, two years ago. Officially making me and my sister Orphans. I don’t know when my aunt and uncle started getting security benefits, but I know they never saved any of it. Not for me, and not for my sister. We never got allowances, (my sister still isn’t) either. For the first year our living situation was very unstable, we first lived with my uncles mother for a few months before we got evicted, then we lived with my aunts grandpa for a few months, and then we found a place to actually settle down, we lived there for the remainder of the time. I can understand them having been tight on money for the first year, even year and a half. But my uncle had a steady well job for the entire time I lived there, that allowed for them to buy themselves plenty of pleasures(despite claiming to have lived paycheck to paycheck) such as new mattresses for them and their kid, a trampoline(that only their kid could use or she’d scream and cry about it), at LEAST 4 packs of cigarettes a week, as well as vapes and pens and weed too, a Nintendo, a Xbox, maybe 5 controllers, a small pool, new phones, new iPads, new TV’s, so much goddamn food because my aunt is nearly obese and eats 5 meals a day with her toddler, ymca memberships, daycares, every streaming service possible, new furniture for themselves, new cars, too many (expensive)toys for their kid, they put their kid in special therapies and private school too(because she is “autistic”, she’s not, my aunt is just trying to get disability checks) and there’s a million more things I could go on about.
I’ll describe half of my 16th year, and majority of my 17th year for you. When I was sixteen, I got my job and I worked every week, I got paid into my back account every week, and I saved money. I obviously had newfound financial freedom and would spend money and buy myself stuff all the time, when I turned 17, my guardians decided that it was too expensive to drive me to work anymore or school or pick me up(it was my senior year and I had two senior study halls), yet i wasn’t allowed to have a car until I turned 18 because they didn’t want me on their insurance, and also refused to let me get my license until a few days before my 18th birthday because “if you have a license and live here we have to add you on our insurance.” I also had at this point bought my own phone with my money, and paid my own phone bills, I also was working 2 jobs ontop school to afford to Uber to work, to school, and home (the school wouldn’t allow me to stay during my off periods), as well as my phone bills, and feed myself because by the time I would get home it was late and they wouldn’t save me any dinner. I was relying on my older sister, my brother, and my friend’s mom to transport me in the times I couldn’t afford it. The last few months, I was at my friends house more than I was actually at my own. I told my guardians I was going to graduate a semester early, January of 2024, that way I could take a full year break to save money for college. shortly after I told them they told me how much the security benefits have been, 1,200 a month, and that if I graduated early, because I wouldn’t be in a primary school anymore and be 18, they won’t get money anymore. They told me that if I stay for the remainder of the year they would give me my 1,200 every month for the few months I’d be in school until I graduated and they’d charge me rent, but if I DONT stay I needed to be out of the house by February.
They never saved any of the money for me, in all four years of them receiving social security, they never saved it, never bought me anything big or expensive, except some parts for a PC(after they sold my first one.) at some point, when my dad died I inherited a car, they told me they’ll buy it from my grandpa for 1,000 and when I go buy my car, he’ll give that to me. When I asked my grandpa about it, he claimed they never gave him any money, when I asked them about it they told me to talk to my grandpa.
Over the two years I knew for sure they were getting security deposits, I was supposed to have 28k, but I’m pretty sure they were getting it for all four years I lived with them, it would’ve been over 50 thousand.
My brother has been able to help me get a running vehicle, and I live with my sister for cheap rent but even then Im barely scraping by every month, and my sister is moving next month so I’m soon to be homeless if I don’t find somewhere to go, and all my savings were blown trying to buy a car. I can’t imagine how better off my life could be right now if they ever even gave a single fuck about me or my sister.
I’m wondering if there’s anything I could even do now? There isn’t much of a way I could prove they never used the money for me, but you never know. I live in South Carolina.

I am 31F and dating a 34M. I live in a city and he lives with family in a small rural town one hour away. He has 3 siblings, 2 sisters. The eldest sister lives a 17 hour drive away.
We have been dating 2 years. I was invited to his older sisters baby shower in January, which was 17 hours away. I was offered a ride with his younger sister and aunt but declined and sent a gift, as I was so wiped from the holidays and would have to take off work. I was also not confident about my ability to socialize for so long and I didn’t know them very well, I know my social battery is low and I would be probably mute because I just am not very social and it would be a long time together. My boyfriend wasn’t going. I’m not sure if his older sister holds that against me or not.
Yesterday I was invited to his nieces birthday, I went early Saturday, it was an hours drive away. It was nice except his mom who has mental illness and recently divorced their dad came and no one expected that, and my boyfriend and her don’t get along. I had only met his mom one other time almost 2 years ago. My mom also has mental illness so I understand. I have nothing against her!!! I would love to get along with a future in law. But when my boyfriend and I walked in I said hi, and she looked at us and said to my boyfriend, “I am not a stalker” and walked away, and it was pretty awkward.
His older sister and her husband and their new baby flew in to come to the party!
So anyways the party was fun and lovely. I found out there was a wedding reception of his cousins that night. I had no idea about it, I thought my boyfriend and I would go back to my place Saturday night and spend Sunday together like always. But I said I’d go and I went and bought an outfit in his town and went to the reception! It was nice, it was for someone on his mom’s side of the family which I’d never met!
His sister told us at the reception that their mom said I gave her a dirty look, which I didn’t or didn’t mean to! She didn’t say it like she believed I did, but like their mom was starting drama. But their mom is ill and has a lot of negative thoughts about everyone. But it made me feel bad :(
I was feeling shy at the reception, and didn’t dance until the very end to one song awkwardly. His older sister was trying to get my boyfriend to dance, but he wouldn’t, and she said he always does, and it seemed like she was thinking that he wouldn’t dance because I was there, because I didn’t want to. I felt bad.
I was quiet a lot, I think I came off as not wanting to be there? I don’t know! I hope not. But I find socializing hard and I feel I put my foot in my mouth several times.
SO his older sister who flew in found out about a graduation party the next day, Sunday, and invited us all. And also they decided they are going out for their dad’s birthday Sunday evening. His sister invited us and it was sooo loud in the reception I wasn’t hearing everything of what people were saying. My boyfriend said we might be able to make it to the grad party, and I was like yeah I think so I think, but it might have seemed I didn’t want to, but I hope not. They were like, how far is it to your house? How long of a drive tonight and tomorrow? And were like that’s not that far.
So when we left the reception, his older sister was like, you guys should come, I hope to see you there. I thought I saw her roll her eyes at me for being noncommittal. I talked about it with my boyfriend after and said I’d like to go. I really have no idea who the grad party is for and don’t know if my boyfriend wants to go to that, but I definitely want to go to his dad’s bday dinner.
I just felt like his sister was not liking that she felt I didn’t want to do these things tomorrow. I kind of don’t want to but totally will. I hate that I seemed like I didn’t want to. I just had a really rough week at work working overtime and my work is abusive and I’ve been looking for another job, and Saturday day is my chore day but I was at the birthday party, I haven’t gone grocery shopping or done laundry. Which whatever.
His sister also encouraged me to do the single ladies bouquet toss, it was me and like 7 10 and under girls. It got tossed really far away from me and I didn’t run for it as o had all these little girls in front.
TLDR: Why am I like this? I believe I have offended his family and made them not like me. I don’t feel like a very likable person. I typically like to know plans ahead of time but don’t want to turn down these invites, I will go and want to make a good impression. Please help me get my head straight. I fear my boyfriend’s family doesn’t really like me, and thinks I don’t like them or that my boyfriend needs someone more social who fits in.

Key: for later in the story Older sister: Horse Younger sister: llama Me: Bunny My wife: Fox Creepy boyfriend: Leech
Anybody who has more than one kid in the family knows that one of them is a "pick me" child. Well I have one, my older sister. How do I describe her, you know the Pokemon Ditto? Yes just like that, a purple blob that mimics any Pokemon, she mimics anyone. She made my life a living hell. Get ready Reddit it's a long one. I will have to break this up into multiple parts.
Let's start with my childhood/teen years. So my older sister is a couple years older than me and our dad was married to her mom. Anyway our dad ends the marriage when he finds out her mother was cheating on him. A little bit after that my mom and dad got together and well ....they got married and then I was born. A couple of years later my little sister was born. My older sister's mom pretty much screwed my parents and had to take her every other week. God I hated those weekends because we had to do everything she wanted, buy the food that she could only eat, watch only what she wanted to watch, and she made my sister and I her own personal Barbie dolls. When I say personal Barbie dolls, she wanted to be a hairdresser when she was older and practice on us. She thought that she could get better -newsflash! -she didn't. One time she wanted to put curls in my hair so I let her when the curls came out I looked like bloody Shirley Temple. 😤
Adult years: It only got worse as we grew into adults. For some reason my older and younger sisters had competition between each other, which left me in the dark and that was okay, I was too weird for them. At this point I had gone through my own demons. Anyway, we are all "adults" The older sister still acts like she never grew up. In 2016, all hell broke loose my older sister got into sell mlms (yuck!). The only reason why she said that she got into selling mlms is because she was helping her friends, hmm yea no just wanted to be a part of a group. She was selling herbal life, a weight loss program, now she did lose the weight while on this program, but she didn't stick to it. Also at this time she was married to her husband of eight years. She then met her current boyfriend when her family moved to another town. After that her and the husband split up. Now reader ,I never said they got legally divorce so they are still married to this day while she is with another guy. In 2017, I met my lovely wife on Facebook. We had a long distance relationship for a 1.5 years. In 2018 they came over to the states and asked me to marry them and of course I said yes!! They came back over in early 2019 because we had an event plan and while they were here we had a big family dinner. Oh goodie, I would rather go to church then do this dinner. The day of the family dinner comes up and everyone is happy to meet my fiancee, Fox. Well let's get on with dinner. The whole family went and sat down, and even before we started eating, Horse insisted on saying a prayer, now I was raised Christian, but I am pagan and so is my fiancee. After that we went to the all you can eat buffet. Now my mom can't have the buffet because she has a seafood allergy (understandable) ,but Horse and Leech didn't go to the buffet because and I quote, " Oh Leech doesn't eat seafood and neither do I." In my brain I am "What?!? since when?!?" That was a lie 🤥!! She used to eat a pound of shrimp when we were the kids. As we were eating, we were talking to each other, Llama asked me, "Bunny where are you guys going to get married", and I explained that I was going to move to Ireland, (where I live now) and we are going to get married at the register office and later on we are...then Horse butt in and said, "Leech and I are getting married at the lake" All of sudden both Llama and I said,l: "Aren't you still married?!" That shut her up. Yes my reader she never got divorced , so legally she is still married. After that I finally got to say what I was going to say, "Going to have a vow renewal at Ren fest in Kansas City later on down the line." All of a sudden Horse said: "Oh there is no way Leech and I can go because Leech is a convicted CP." In my mind:" Wtf, you are my sister and you are picking a guy over my vow renewal ?!? After that , I lost all my respect for her. Like they say like mother like daughter. Would you like a part 2. Let me know!!! Thanks!!

1. ⁠⁠Age : I’m 22 year old female
2. ⁠⁠Age Range prospects: looking for age 26-30 year old man.
3. ⁠⁠Location & willing to relocate : Currently I live in karachi, Pakistan. Id love to relocate as long as the country is safe
4. ⁠⁠Ethnicity: im Pakistani, Sindhi but speak Urdu. Yes I’m open to mixing but preferably looking for someone who is fluent in urdu. The communication will be easier & our midset will be more compatible.
5. ⁠⁠Marital Status: Single
6. ⁠⁠Ideal Timeline for marriage: Within two years

Looking for:

1. ⁠⁠A Decent God fearing functional male who understands the responsibilities of life & spouse.
2. ⁠⁠He should be observing deen and a proper practicing man - prays 5 times a day fulfils the basics such as charity
3. ⁠⁠A man who understands & is great at conversations, loves having deep conversations about life, experiences and is gentle with his spouse
4. ⁠⁠⁠He knows that his wife is a woman, a human and could make mistakes too in life. No one is perfect.
5. ⁠⁠I ⁠Would love to start a new family but might not be willing to move in with in laws after marriage.
6. ⁠⁠Soft spoken and healthy.
7. ⁠⁠⁠Should not be too attached to the world.

Level of religiosity : I pray 5 times a day, fast in Ramadan & I solely believe in Allah’s power in every single aspect. I don’t call myself an extremist but I’m understanding & Learning My Islam as much as I cqn. I don’t do hijab right now, But I dress modestly.
Level of Education: Doctorate in Physical therapy, currently close to graduating and becoming a physical therapist.
Current Job Status: No job at the moment but might work after graduating in a year.
List of hobbies: Love reading & writing. I paint too at times. I have a thing to have peaceful alone time where I have no distraction. I think and ponder over life during those hours. I believe in meditation, Prayers and Peace. Love travelling to places that teach me something about life. Love exploring different places.

Today I graduated. My family had dinner after the ceremony and my boyfriend joined us. My family started asking him questions about his parents (they have been separated for 15+ years) he got really offended, pissed, sad. For the rest of the evening he was there but clearly his face expression and the whole vibe was off. He didn't try to fake it through. I feel shitty because this seems to be a pattern and this ruined one more special event for me. He is so depressed and won't get help. This is only one example of the many. Am I overeating? I know deep down I need to break up with him but we’ve been together for years. But I am so tired of it. Really on my graduation day?!

In kindergarten (sorry I'm from singapore so we follow British but if im not wrong its like 5-6 years old) I already accepted Christ into my life. But my mom is a "I hate Christians!!" kind of person so I didnt dare to tell her anything. I didn't really have a good relationship with my mom cos to her studies are everything and she made me (until now) think that I'm never good enough. And I was only in primary school thinking my mom doesn't like me. I'm worthless, I want to kms. I made plans to grab the knife from the kitchen, jump off and things like that. Eventually I resulted to scratching my own skin cos I feel most pain when it's right at the nerve uk.
My whole life was until the end of primary school (12) was only to do things to make my mom happy. I wouldn't mention a word about Christianity to her. And when my mom was out at night, me, my dad and my sisters would worship. The moment the door opens, I scramble into the room. This also make me walk far from God and I would curse, swear and stuff. One day in P6, the last year of primary school (12 years old) I thought "Hey, I'm Christian so why am I swearing? Isn't this a sin?" So I stopped cursing. Of course, my mom wouldn't want me going around cursing but I didn't really do it for her, but rather for God. But I still didn't want to tell her about it.
When I graduated from Primary school, in Secondary (Sec) school, I finally got to bring my phone to school (13 years old), but my mom still could track me. Anyways I got to listen to some worship songs my dad sent to me and because I didn't have a music player downloaded and wasn't allowed to download any apps, I would listen through the WhatsApp audio player thing😭😭 on the way home. Usually on Sundays whene my mom isn't home,my dad would bring me to church. Then of course my mom would find out and scold me and this continued until sec 2 (14).
In Sec 3 (15 years old), I had whole control of my phone so I would listen to worship music on the way home. One day in, my dad brought me to church. My mom saw my location and immediately got mad because she knew where my dad's church is and also because my older sister attends service too and my mom was not happy. Since then, I was afraid to go to church. My mom even cornered me one day and made me promise not to go to church or I can forget calling her my mom. I kept crying that night and never dared to go to church (mind that i dont even cry often).
But towards mid year(?) I just decided ok Imma go to church. She can get angry but it won't really stop me. Because I got to know God through worship songs and now I wanted to know him more.
I regularly started praying in the morning on the way to school. Eventually my prayers became a ritual and dry. I felt no emotion and no pull towards God. Only on days when I was really upset/angry then I would feel Him comforting me. One day I really wanted to be the captain in my CCA (it's like after school activities but still part of school programs) and I didn't get it. I was so upset I cried on the way home because I actually put in so much effort into it. Then I became vice captain so ig that counts.
Anyways I became really upset and got frustrated because I didn't prove myself enough. I had so low expectations of myself, got depressed again, but I couldn't vent it out because I couldn't hurt myself anymore after learning my body is a temple of God. So I got super frustrated. I prayed for guidance decided to free up my Saturdays I went to church. Youth services for Secondary school students were on Saturdays and not Sundays so yeah. Towards like October last year I cleared up my Saturdays so I could go more regularly to church, and my mom was defo not happy AT ALL that I went with my own initiative. She ignored me for several weeks and of course I felt lonely and all buy eventually I felt okay because she doesn't even know me sooooo.
I'm still trying to patch up my relationship with her. Honestly, it's so strained I don't know what to do. I've prayed that she would accept Christ everyday but uhh nothing. This doesn't mean I don't believe in God if not this would not exist
One day I was fellowshipping with my dad. Why we did that is because of a long story that would be saved for another day.
But this is the part where it's important
Previously I had dreams and I shared with my dad because he is more experience in deciphering gifts and stuff (I'm sorry if you don't believe in gifts but I do!) And he told me to pray about it because I somehow knew these dreams had meaning and relation to God. A number of dreams had direct inference to God. I did pray about it, and also asked God along these lines; "God, give me guidance. I have strayed and I know. Lord please let me understand, and let me also be close to You. I want to know You, and I know, I haven't read the word. Lord, motivate me to read the scripture, and while reading let me also understand the dreams I have been having my whole life."
I can't remember what I said exactly. The one 9f the church sermons on one week talked about how God is not far, but we are far. And I felt that that was for me. Then one day my dad said to me and my older sister "I don't care you have to download the Bible rn" so I downloaded it but did nothing with it. Finally, one day I was late for work (yes I worked when I was 15 because I actually want an electric guitar) and it was New Year's Eve. My colleague texted me saying she'd pick me up and I said and quote "Isokkk I walk over" (me) ... "Give me your block" (colleague) "Omd tyyy" (me)
Part of me didn't want her to fetch me because it would be troubling her. But I don't know why I waited and was thinking "bruh I could've reached by now but she's late" but I just waited. I was wearing full white that day. And this woman must've thought I was going to church because it was a Sunday morning.
And she asked "Hello, are you going to church?"
I said "oh no no, I have church at night because it's countdown service. (basically the youth services brought our church service from Saturday 4pm to Sunday 8pm because we wanted to countdown service together)"
She said," Oh! So you're Christian! Do you read the Word often?"
I blushed because so many signs and I haven't read a single word. "No," I was so embarrassed
She continued "I used to be a teacher, a lecturer in a University (if im not wrong) There is a website called 7 minutes with God. It was originally created for Harvard students because they were busy and didn't have time to spend time with God." Then I couldn't hear what she said because she was talking so fast. All I knew was she was summarizing the website and encouraged me to read it.
I read it like on January 2nd this year on the way to school ( I'm 16 this year!!! But not 16 yet because as I said, it's not my birthday yet or anytime soon)
I was so inspired that I kept on reading the Word and devoted mornings to not only prayers (that I allowed God to guide me and not just pray for the sake of praying) but also for reading the Word!
See, when I prayed to have motivation to read the Word more, God gave me the sign THREE TIMES which I did not pick up until the 3rd sign, the lady. The first time during the sermon I was like "Yes God, I will do it!" but did nothing. The second time when my dad asked me to download the app version of the Bible, I said "Yes God, this is the sign!" and did not do anything. I got discouraged because my dad thinks I'm funny and wouldn't take my words seriously omd 😭. But the third time, God literally sent a random woman I don't know and told me to read. And I read, praise God!
this is the part where it relates to the meme
Because when I went to the shower I kept laughing because I thought of this meme. I didn't read the word or get touched because it was a coincidence. So coincidence? I think not! It's a miracle ❤️❤️❤️
I finished Mark and the New Testament, I'm currently at John right now.
Just now, after a meeting with my cell group (a small group for easier prayers etc in church), I was listening to worship music, and my grumpy dad was like "GO AND SHOWER" liek chill brou. So I went to the toilet with my headphones on and sat on the floor and just continued listening to worship music. Then my dad sent in the family group chat (just me, my older sister and him, my mom got mad and left) an article about this man called Patrick Lee/Bezalel. He is a local artist faithful in Christ
But reading halfway I kept crying because I was so touched (again I do no lt cry, but I related so much I cried even though nothing had to do with me, but it was like my mother's story where she had a hard of stone towards God) and then my phone went flat 😐 So I risked it and ran out to get my charger but thank God (like actually) my dad didn't scream like he would. Then I sat at the toilet floor and continued reading. Tears kept flowing down my face because Patrick Bezalel's story was such a miracle, and God kept giving him signs that God existed! And removed the layer of stone that surrounded the man's heart and made it soft and open to God again!
After that I continued worshipping God and was listening to worship music (yes in the toilet because I literally have 0 privacy because none of my parents think I need it). I kept crying because the songs were so related. Can you imagine? It went in this order:
1.Presence,Power,Glory 2.Hosanna 3.Promises 4.Holy Forever
Again, coincidence? I THINK NOT. It was so planned, like it was in my playlist for so long and I haven't really thought much about it. Tears kept streaming down and kept going and through sobs I silently prayed to God
"Oh my dear God you have been so so good to me, and so faithful to me Lord. You have guided me, guided my heart and nothing has gone wrong in Your hands Lord. I've been through the turning point I've prayed for. You have sent people, songs and my family members to come after me to open up to You Lord. Lord, I was having a CG (cell group) meeting and something just touched my heart. I am now sitting on the toilet floor and typing this, because Lord you have made a way to touch my heart, guide me through a prayer that came deep down from inside of me Lord, thank You for providing. Thank You God for the miracles You have did in my life, and all that I prayed for has came through Lord. The turning point I prayed for was when that lady had spoken to me about how to set aside time for You and the Word. Lord let me not forget this incident, this turning point, this miracle Lord. Let me put my trust in You Lord, and let You take my hand and let my life be walking next to You faithfully Lord. Lord I pray that I would not waver, and I would not take my eyes away from You. Even when I am crossing and walking toward You on water in the sea, let my eyes be on You, and the works You have done for me, and not be distracted by the worls around me, but to keep my eyes on You diligently Lord. Lord, I am a sinner, and now, I was, for You have sent Jesus Christ, Your Son, to die on the cross for me. Lord, I believe in You and I want to accept You in my life Lord, no matter what situation I am in. Lord, let people around me see Your love, joy, and faithfulness in me, and not let them see the girl I was before. Let them see change, and the love and desire I have for You, Lord. Let them see Your greatness, Your goodness and You. I thank You for everything You have done, and in Jesus's name, I pray that I will walk faithfully alongside You, and will not fail to continuously pray and worship You God. Thank You Lord for the miracles, for this turning point. Thank You God for guiding me, and let me be the branch that bears fruit, and let me be the branch that has life only through Jesus, Who is the vine, Who the reason I live Lord, Who is the reason I have life. Praise the Lord! Amen!"
This is the first time I prayed for so long and every one word was truly from deep down fron the depths of my heart. I couldn't stop crying. I really couldn't and I can't emphasize more that I don't cry often! Either it hurt me so much or that God moved my heart. This time was tears of joy.
I hope this could inspire someone out there, because in another prayer I prayed for those who needed God, even if I didn't know them.
Pray. Pray and ask God to help you seek Him. One thing I learnt from a sermon is the fervency in your prayers. I didn't mean to add this in but I suddenly saw this note I wrote on 25th February.
Title: fervency in prayer Fervency: being excited about something keen on something
At the heart of revival is the spirit of prayer • pray fervently • pray with faith
"But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed"
To be fervent in prayer is to pray tenaciously despite our struggles
Hopefully this helped someone out there, inspired you and is one of your signs to start giving your life to Him! It is actually proven 1 in 3 people are Christians. Isn't our goal to have this faith to reach all four corners of the world? It could sound impossible in the past, but now there is social media, anyone could read and realize "Hey God is actually with me!"

I’ve been in a relationship for over two years with my current boyfriend and I’m happy but there’s always this part in the back of my heart that feels like this relationship isn’t mentally or physically satisfying me. for the past two years I’ve poured my everything into this relationship. I’ve always gone above and beyond for my boyfriend, whether it came to birthdays, anniversaries, him graduating school, and even small achievements. If we go on a date, I’m the one planning everything in the one making the plans. I take care of absolutely everything and I never feel appreciated or thought of.
On my birthday last year, he had absolutely nothing planned. he gave me a gift which was a kind gesture, but he didn’t have anything planned for the day. no reservations no movie tickets booked, nothing. When I asked him where we were going he just said “oh idk how to plan for these kinds of things you figure it out” because he never reserved anything and it was so last minute we ended up having to go to a chain restaurant that closed in an hour. for my birthday this year, he bought me perfume. which he didn’t even pick out himself. he just decided to meet me at the mall and have me pick it out and left after buying me it. he had a migraine and couldn’t take me out to celebrate but promised he would take me out another time. we never did end up going out and I didn’t end up celebrating with him.
now, for the last two years I’ve gone above and beyond for his birthday. I would reserve places months in advance and plan the entire day for him so he could feel appreciated. last year for his birthday, I bought him a bunch of stuff he uses or has been wanting, we went out for dinner and spent the night together and I even surprised him with a cake. the year before that I took him out for dinner and had a hotel decorated for him. but I in return have never received any gesture like this. I’ve communicated with him about how I always feel like he never plans or does anything nice for me and he says he just doesn’t know these things like I do. I’ve stopped asking for so much from him because I’ve just become so emotionally exhausted that I’d rather keep my mouth closed than have to deal with his excuses. I just want to feel appreciated, I want to feel like I’m being thought of, and I wanna feel like I’m deserving of the love I give out. I don’t know what to do or how to approach the relationship at this point. I love him but it’s so hard maintaining a relationship that feels like you’re giving out 90% and they’re only giving 10%.

I have been dating my current gf for about 2 years now. Her parents are from India and hae been very strict the entire relationship. Even when the relationship with the parents was cordial, they obsessively called me whenever I was with her like I became their child. On my first day of graduate school, the father called me 9 times while I was attending my first class because she hadn't answered their texts in 30 minutes. Another time, we went on a beach trip and were coming home (2 hours before their set curfew) and he continued to call and tell me to drive faster and get her home immediately. Eventually, the relationship with the parents deteriorated. They didn't want us seeing each other at all anymore but we stayed together and made it about a year without their approval.
Today was my girlfriends graduation and it was outdoors, so it was open to the public. The parents didn't want me there and I was not invited to the dinner planned for after the graduation. However, since it was open to the public and a large crowd, she told me that she wanted me there and I could just sit away from them. I went and tried to stay away from the parents, but apparently the father spotted me walking into the stadium and became angry. There was no confrontation, but apparently he wanted to come up to me and tell me to leave but was prevented from doing so. My girlfriend texted me that he had seen me and said to stay out of sight and just leave after they call her name to avoid any crazy drama. I did and left immediately after her name and hadn't been in contact with anyone (including my gf) since the ceremony.
I was driving back home when my gf's best friend called me and said that she had a seizure and I needed to go to the hospital she was going to. I was shocked since she had no medical history and turned around to head to the hospital immediately. I knew the parents wouldn't would be angry, so I called my gf's older sister to tell her everything I knew and see if she was okay (my gf had been staying out late all night and had been feeling sick all morning). The sister told me not to come because it would only make things worse and the dad took the sisters phone and began to yell at me.
He told me that this was all my fault and I'm causing so much stress and anxiety in her life and that I'm the reason she's in the hospital. He told me to never contact her again and I responded by telling him that "This is not okay. You will not blame me for this and you will not speak to me that way." He hung up the phone a few seconds after i began talking and told him that nothing he was saying was accpetable to me.
After hanging up, he grew more angry and I received several follow up messages about how everything is my fault and that I need to leave her alone. When my gf finally regained consciousness, he yelled at her for being "so naive and irresponsible" and he told her that she is throwing her life away with me. I didn't know what to do and obviously wanted to prioritize her well-being when she reached out to me, but when she told me her dad said I had disrespected him and been very rude, I had to share the full story and send screenshots.
I feel liket this pattern of behavior isn't out of a dislike for me or a new thing... She had warned me that her parents were crazy and strict before, but this is unlike anything I've ever seen before. I think that there are deeper issues to this behavior than I can tell from my perspective, but I just dont know what to do or say about any of this.
I absolutely do not want our relationship to end. I also can't continue to let the parents continue to control everything in her life and treat me how they treat their children.
I dont know if I should have skipped the graduation and just stayed as quiet as possible until her parents arent as big a factor in her life anymore.
I also don't know what to say about his comments blaming me for the seizure and yelling at her when she regained consciousness. What should I do in this situation? Is there anything to do/say about overly controlling/manipulative parents? Please help with how to handle this situation.
TL;DR; : Girlfriends father was angry that I showed up to her graduation and sat alone. She had a seizure after I left and he told me that it was all my fault and to never speak to her again. He had tried to limit our relationship and prevent us from seeing each other in the past and I don't know what to do now. How can I confront this and maintain my relationship with her?

I don’t know if it’s just me but watching and keeping up with this woman has been weighing heavy on my mental. Seeing the way she treats them babies has had me legit shaking with anger and in tears because I wish I could save them babies from Nika. How could a mother be so negligent and unloving? If it effects us as viewers so heavily I can’t even begin to image what it’s doing to those babies. In an ideal world CPS would’ve been had them removed from Nikas care….. What really was my last straw was watching Kiyahs graduation. Her hair looked a hot mess on her big day. That dress she wore, Nika didn’t even damn buy it. How could a mother allow their child to be embarrassed like that? All of her children are behind developmentally and are failing in their studies. While their mama plays bingo and stuffs her fat mouth, they sit around with nothing. These kids have absolutely nothing….. I am in no way shape or form a fighter but if I ever run into you Nika I promise it won’t be pretty. No one has had the ability to fill me with so much rage because I am very short to anger but I’ve gotten headaches from being so angry for those BABIES. I swear if I could I would help bring those kids stability but I’m not in the position. I’m not religious anymore but I’m at the point of turning to prayer because there’s nothing else we can do

Long story short, I just got in a heated argument with my father over how he treats my 13 year old brother (more on that later). I am 21 years old and they still control a lot of my life. I am financially independent (technically, more on that later as well).
For some background. I was raised VERY religious. Those Christian moms you see on social media that was my father. I never went to prom (because godforbid I got out in the world). I went to a public high school but was still super sheltered. My life outside of school consisted of coming home and working on homework, the extra homework he assigned me, yelling because I never did "good enough," and church youth group (which I hated because I am not a Christian). I made good grades, mostly As, the occasional B, and one C (in chemistry, but I mean come on that shits hard). That was never good enough. Every single assignment I did he had to look at. Study guide for an exam. He had to look at it. Discussion board reply. You guessed it he looked at that too. I didn't get a phone until sophomore year of high school and when I did I got one of those shitty 80 dollar Samsung phones that you couldn't do shit on (and where he checked all my texts, notes, and emails). I was very sheltered. The extent of my fun was shooting the shit with my friends in the cafeteria at lunch and on the bus. I wasn't allowed to go to birthday parties or sleepovers or even go over to a friends house. He is raising my brother the same way, but way worse. If I am ever blessed with kids one day he has taught me what not to do.
Thankfully I am now in my third year of college. I picked a school he didn't want me to go to. Not because of money or anything he just said "you aren't going to a party school. There are too many idiots there you don't need to be around." I rebelled and committed to that school. Hands down the best decision I have ever made. I have a full ride scholarship that pays for my tuition (although it is dirt cheap for in-state already). I also have a scholarship that pays for rent for my 1100 dollar a month apartment and gives me about 500 spending money every month. I consider this my second best accomplisment as screwed up as that may sound. My father controls my money. All of it. I have a credit card that I use and then he pulls that money out of my account. I have no idea how much money I have and what he is doing with said money. He also has access to my Schwab and Vanguard accounts. He says he does this to help me with investing but I know there is more to it. He still wants to control me. I don't even know my damn login to the banking app for Christ sake (sorry not sorry dad for using the Lords name in vane). I know I should have fixed this issue sooner but I didn't want to fuck up our relationship. I am not sure what to do about this.
Another major problem came from this sheltered/overbearing environment I grew up in is my inability to say no to things I have never done before. Throughout my time in college I have experimented with drugs and alcohol (cocaine, weed, molly, lsd, shrooms, xans, oxy, you name it, pretty much with the exception of meth and heroin, I've done it and not just once). I am not proud of this (minus the fun I've had on psychs and even then not one of my better attributes). As a result of his abusive parenting style I have a hard time saying no and give in super easily to peer pressure. So much so that the first friends i met at college I still hang around with. These guys I probably shouldn't be around (the type where daddy pays for everything so they get a four-year drug fueled adventure in college). Don't get me wrong they aren't all that bad but just not the type of people I though I would be hanging around. I never thought I would be sleeping around, going to clubs on a Tuesday, and doing lines of coke off my island at 4pm but here we are. I am not proud of this but feel like I started doing these things because I was finally free. It is so hard to stop now. I think that I hang around them as a sense of rebellion to my parents and a sort of "f u" if you will. I know it is wrong but it feels good to finally be free. I have developed a raging nicotine addiction as well (something I am definitely not proud of). My parents have no idea. I have had to lie to them about things for the past three years.
I don't know if that is a result of my own actions or the years upon years upon years of constant yelling by my father. I mean for fucks sake the man never told me good job on anything. I got an A on a test it wasn't good job. It was "show me the test and what you got wrong," followed by a thirty minute yelling match about how I fucked up on the test. When I got into college on a full ride it wasn't good job it was "that is all because of me and the things I gave you." When I graduated high school it wasn't good job. It was my mom, god bless her she is great but tied down by my father, putting on a dinner party for me with all the neighbors and my parents friends. My dad was there but never even spoke to me (he just bullshitted to his friends about how I was such a hard worker (mind you he never told me this) and other things that narcissists do). I never was told good job when I got Eagle scout. That fucked me up, all of it. I am not one to want praise or one of those participation trophy people but come on that's fucked up at least in my mind. I never heard good job once.
He does the same shit to my brother but worse. My brother is 13 and in seventh grade at a private Christian K-12 school (one of those rich schools where the parents drive benzs and the kids have gucci shoes and shit). My father doesn't send my brother there because it is a better school, trust me, it is not by any stretch of the word. He sends him there to look better (aka "my kid goes to a private school you peasants" type of behavior). Recently, my brother was caught playing a computer game (papa's pizazaria on coolmathgames). Off topic but that is still the best one and you cannot change my mind. When he caught my brother they went at it for four hours. Now my dad checks my brothers search history, backpack and every single piece of paper in every binder every single day. He has moved my brothers desk into the living room and made my brother buy, with his own money, 300 dollar noise cancelling headphones to somehow be able to focus down there. My brother now has developed a twitch and the habit of twirling his hair. It was gotten so bad that some of his hair is falling out because of it and my dad refuses to take responsibility for it. The kid is so stressed that you would think he is on coke or meth the way he acts. He told me that he is scared when my dad comes home from work. I brought this up with my dad and asked him how he feels about his child being scared of him. My dad said nothing. Not one word. I am asking advice/thoughts on this situation.
To end things off I want advice on what I should do moving forward. I am home for the summer and working a job up here but am really considering not working and going back down to my school. I never had a normal childhood and can't stand my brother being treated this way. He is not allowed to go outside and play with the neighbor kids, watch TV, search ANYTHING on his computer, and take breaks longer than dinner away from his "schoolwork." I can't handle this shit anymore. I understand that part of my situation is my doing but I think it partly stems from the years of manipulation and control on behalf of my father. Am I overreacting? What would you do?
P.S. One final thing I wanted to say to get off my chest is that I do not respect this man. He yells at my mother constantly about how when she lets him be a kid and do kid things she is "setting him up for failure." I don't mean yelling I mean cussing and screaming to the point when I go to bed I can hear my mother crying. It hurts me to hear her cry it really does. I'm a bigger dude, 6 foot, 210, built. But that shit hurts. A fucking lot. I'm at the point where he needs to be confronted about it. I have lost every ounce of respect I have ever had for him. This may be an overreaction but I don't think so. He still controls my life. He tracks where I go in school, what I buy, etc. I have to lie to him sometimes but I am okay with that. This is the first real fun I have had in my life. I am doing pretty good in school, 3.1 gpa in a major I (not him) am happy in. I already have a job lined up outside of school making 58k straight out the gate. He has no idea because I don't tell him shit, he doesn't deserve to know in my mind. This is a man who will act super nice around everyone but our family. He is super active in the church and scouting, although he doesn't let my brother go anymore. He constantly gives to charity and volunteers around the community. You would never know this if you watched how our family operates on any given day behind closed doors. The only conversations I have with him now are about "why is there a charge for mexican food on the credit card. you should be studying," or my personal favorite "why is there a charge for x amount of dollars at a convenience store at 9:00 at night. Only bad people hang outside after dark (by bad people he is referring to everyone who is non-Christian by the way)."
This man has held me back so much even in college. I understand that this is partly my fault because as a legal adult I could have stopped this but I did not want to ruin our relationship. He stopped me from going on trips because "people could be drinkng" and has told me that on my 21st birthday (last week) that if he ever catches me drinking or vaping or anything I will not be allowed back into the house. I want to get clean but I do that shit as a fuck you to him. I apologize about cussing so much in here I'm just frustrated and need to get some stuff of my chest. I can't be the only one with parents like this. Right? I refuse to let this situation continue on. Should I do something about the way he treats me and my brother and mom? What do I do? What would you do? FYI cutting him out of my life entirely is not ideal because my mom and I still get along great. I would do it if there was a way to still be able to see my mom as they live in the same house. Minus certain political issues (mostly economic stuff) my dad and I don't agree on anything. He is the most judgemental person I have ever met in my life. I have met upwards of 1000 people in the past couple of years and he is by far the most judgemental person I have ever met. There is not even a close second.
Am I overreacting? What would you do in this situation? God bless and thanks for any and all responses/similar stories you all are willing to share. This seems like a great group of people. Stay blessed and if you need someone to talk to I am here for anything.

AITA- My family and I have always had issues, particularly with my dad. I'm turning 20 soon, and in February, I asked my dad about having a birthday dinner. He's always struggled with dates, so I confirmed the date with him multiple times through various means. He assured me it was okay each time. To accommodate him, I didn't invite my maternal grandpa and step-grandma because he doesn't get along with them, nor my mum or maternal grandma to avoid him feeling 'outnumbered.'
I live with my maternal grandpa and step-grandma while at college, which my dad isn't happy about, even though it saves money. Since my brothers likely couldn’t make it due to work, I invited my maternal grandpa and step-grandma after clearing it with my dad. He disliked it. During this conversation, he mentioned he was working on my birthday and couldn’t attend, despite his previous confirmations. Upset, I went to my mum's house to cool off.
A few days later, I visited my dad’s house to see my younger brothers. My dad was rude to us, so I left and texted him to cancel our camping trip. We've always gone camping, but this year was special because we planned to go in May and do a hike we've wanted for years. Given his rudeness and lack of apology, I felt it wouldn’t be fun anymore.
In response, my dad blew up about me missing the last seven Christmases. When I was younger, Christmas was split between my parents, but from age 14, I could choose where to spend it. Often, my dad had work and didn’t make plans, so I went with my mum to visit family. I always spent time with him during the holidays, just not always on Christmas Day. Despite this, he still holds it against me.
Now, we're arguing over text. It's not about him missing my birthday but his lack of remorse for messing up again. I've given him several months' notice and even considered not inviting my grandparents for his sake. This pattern has happened multiple times: he almost missed my high school graduation, dinners, dance recitals, concerts, and even needed coaxing to attend his niece's baby shower. I'm frustrated because I’ve tried everything, but he only seems to be mad about me not spending Christmas with him when I was younger. AITA?

I think I've unknowingly known my whole life I was trans, but only really had the knowledge to out it into words when I was 16. I'm 23 now and it's been a ride.
I spent most of my teens researching and longing. All on my own. All through a phone. I was terrified of being found out. I would only use my phone with my back against a wall so no one could sneak behind me and see my screen. I stopped commenting and liking Instagram posts when my family started following me there (this was back when Instagram had a whole section dedicated to showing what the people you follow had liked and commented). I unfollowed so many pages because I was terrified they would go through my following and see them. How could I answer the question 'why are you following (queer account)?' without telling on myself? I used to lie a lot. About the movies I'd seen (couldn't admit I'd seen any queer movie because why was I watching that, you know?), the music I liked, the YouTubers I followed, etc. I was so scared whenever my parents used my phone because what if a notification from a channel I followed popped up and the title of the video was queer? What then? I was very anxious, scared and I used to think a lot about ways they could find out, so I could take care of them.
And it went like this for years. I went through an entire self discovery process and no one even knew it or ever found out. Years passed and I slowly started to make peace with it all. Graduating high school and leaving that place behind was crucial on this. I started uni and eventually got a job, started making my own money and I felt I was millions of miles away from the whole I was in during my high school years. My relationship with my mom became better after a few delicate moments during my senior year of high school because of my queerness (she asked me if I was and I said no and it didn't go too well). I became very okay with myself and who I am and I accepted myself completely.
Around this time I began exploring the possibility of never ever coming out. It wasn't ideal, but it was doable and to me became the only way out for me. It took me a while but I accepted it. And I decided that being as worried and anxious as I'd been when I was a teenager was not good for me. So I stopped hiding. I wouldn't come out, not ever, but I also wasn't going to hide. I started following queer accounts again, and being vocal about liking movies that had a gay plot, and not being supportive of if their homophobia. I was doing whatever I felt like, but nothing too obvious.
A few days ago a news page my entire family and I follow published a post about a man talking about being gay. The news page is mostly right leaning, so many of the comments were things like 'and what do I care about this guy's sexuality ' 'you can be gay, just don't talk about it' 'literally no one cares about this' and things like this, completely disregarding what the news piece was about. I, fully knowing my family followed that page and if they came across the post they would surely see any comments I made, decided to reply to one homophobic comment I saw. This was huge to me. It was the kind of thing 16 year old me would have died from. Just the chance of my family seeing me supporting gay rights was enough to keep me up at night. And now I was doing it fully aware of the consequences. I posted the comment and went about my day. The next day at dinner the topic of gayness comes up (it usually does and it's never in a nice way), and my brother mentions the article the news outlet had publish about this man talking about being gay. I instantly knew what post he was talking about. My mom immediately said she'd seen it too. My heart dropped to my stomach instantly. What she said next was the same kind of homophobia as the comments under that post. By this point I was terrified of any of them having read my comment. I was terrified that if they had they would bring it up there, over dinner in front of everyone. I was suddenly 16 again and only ever using my phone with my back against a wall. I stood up in panic and pretended to be looking for napkins. I made such a fuss about not finding them that they dropped the subject to help me get some.
I'm just ashamed really. After all this time, all this progress and learning I thought I'd done and I still felt like I did when I was 16. Is it ever gonna end? What if I leave this place but never really stop feeling 16 and terrified of being found out? Is never coming out not really an option? Or it is, and the price to pay is always looking over your shoulder? The one thing I used to think about at 16 and that I still very much agree with, specially at times like this is how unfair it is. I didn't choose this. Some people just get to be and I don't. I didn't choose to feel like this, growing up on their couch while they talk homophobia in the background. It really feels so unfair. The one thing I take as a win is that I think it's made me a better person. A more accepting and understanding one. It's helped me known myself a lot more too.
I choose to focus on the positives.

I'm so sick of this. We have two kids, a toddler and a baby. I work full time on top of caregiving for the kids and managing the home. He gets to come home from work and work on his pet projects and do fuck all while I'm busy taking care of the kids, cooking dinner and preparing for the evening. I ask him to do one thing and it's this huge inconvenience for him that he rants and raves about it like I'm some lazy SOB and he's doing all the work.
Most recently we went on a trip to see my sister graduate Mother's Day weekend. He complains about hanging with my family the whole trip. He complains about not being able to sleep in. He complains because he needs to relax this vacation and I'm ruining it by wanting to see my family (8 hrs away from us). I take the kids to my parents house from the hotel giving him a 5 hour break. I tell him that when I get back, I'll need him to watch the baby so that I can catch up on some work. The moment I get back he's in a horrible mood because I am "bossing him around". Never mind the break or anything like that. He then claims I left him at the hotel. We end up in a fight where I finally pour my eyes out telling him how miserable I've been because I have no support. Do you think he acknowledged it at all? Oh and this was Mother's Day of course were he acted like a selfish asshat the whole time. Can anyone relate? I'm just so tired.

I guess I'll start off by giving backstory. I am a (18F) college student in a relationship with my boyfriend (18M) who is about to graduate highschool next week. We originally met back in February on a dating app, and we are long distance (of an hour away from each other), and our relationship is a secret from my dad (strict parent). My mom is aware of the relationship however because she is concerned for me getting found out, she limits my hangouts with my boyfriend. My boyfriend and I try to see each other every week, sometimes every other week.
I just want to make it clear: from the beginning of our relationship I have been the one to mess things up. Or that is how (him and me) mostly see it. I think I've come to realize it's because I have a lot of mental immaturity. From what I recall, one of the first arguments we had was my inability to communicate properly with my boyfriend. Such as: texting him small updates or, checking things he would send me on social media and not reply to his iMessage back. Very minor communication. The others were a bit more extreme. One of the more extreme ones stemmed from the whole strict parent thing. See, originally my boyfriend asked me out the first month in which we met. However, I turned him down because although I wanted to say yes, I didn't want to lie about the status of my relationship to my parents. Eventually, I wanted the two of us to become official after a few months of us talking, so I can then introduce him as my boyfriend to my parents. This created a big issue between us, in which he started developing a sense of not having security in the relationship. This would be the cause of many arguments. I think my fault in this was instead of reassuring him and making him feel heard; I would apologize over and over again trying to offer solutions. On his birthday I wrote him a long love letter and I told him I wanted to make things official, the truth is I felt pressured because a week before his birthday we had the same reoccurring argument. We've had a lot of arguments piling since then, many of them having to with me such as: making conversations about his feelings about myself, in which then he feels pressured to comfort me. Our most recent argument was completely my mistake and I recognize this.
About three weeks ago, one of my friends was preforming at my former highschool. It was going to be a concert like event in which students and their rock bands would preform. So I invited my Best Friend (18M) and my Boyfriend. (To clarify, my best friend has been my friend for 7 years and he is gay, this doesn't have to do with my best friend being a man; my boyfriend himself is comfortable with our relationship.) I had not seen my boyfriend for a week or so prior to this event and so I would constantly tell him about how I miss him and how I was looking forward to see him, hence why I invited him. Before the event started, the three of us (me, Boyfriend, and Best friend) decided to go to a cafe to get a drink since it was a 5min walk from my former highschool (where the event was being held). I thought I was giving him attention by being affectionate in holding his hand, trying to include him in conversation, and clinging to his arm would be enough: showing my boyfriend that I missed him. However, when we walked back from the cafe to line up outside the event, I noticed he was going quiet and even got out of line to sit down at a nearby bench. When we entered the event, us three sat down and my Boyfriend put his head down immediately. I knew from that, that this wasn't his vibe. After the first two songs, he got up and left (with letting me know) and went back to his car. I asked him if he was okay, and he just told me he wanted to lay down. The event was three hours, I stayed for the first hour almost two, before receiving a text from my boyfriend. In which he said "should I just leave", so I left the event and went to his car to talk to him. He told me that he felt unappreciated especially because I said I had missed him so much, that I didn't even say "thank you baby for driving an hour to be here". We ended up talking this out and we went to dinner after. The reason why I am bringing this up is because my best friend was actually quite annoyed at this. This week, me and my best friend went out to Koreatown which we were talking about my boyfriend. My best friend brought up his behavior from the event, and demonstrated the way my boyfriend had his head down expressing how annoyed it made him feel that I left early, and even missed some of my friend performance which was the reason why I went. I made the mistake of mentioning this to my boyfriend. He got extremely upset, and took my best friend as mocking him and disrespecting him, he got mad at me for not defending him. This was a very big argument. My boyfriend has expressed and even shown throughout the arguements we've had, that he is losing his patience and feels as though I am abusing him ;"Let me continue to beat you mentally and ask for forgiveness with no promise of a promising future for myself in change (he told me this)". Lately, although I should have been doing this from the beginning have been trying to put my best foot forward in changing attitude, I've been trying to be more supportive and not making conversations about myself, in making sure that he knows that I understand him, however I keep messing up and its very frustrating to me.
I've talked to my therapist and my own mom about my problems, because I really want to stay with my boyfriend and I really want to change. My last relationship I was sexually and verbally abused, and although me and my boyfriend have a lot of problems he really is the best and the first person I have seen a future with. I sometimes struggle with the trauma from my last relationship, which is why sometimes I get scared of expressing myself (my ex would call me stupid or a manipulator when I expressed myself so I get scared of retaliation). My boyfriend gets sometimes frustrated when I explain this because he tells me "well I'm not him and you know that".
Although I love this person, I don't know whether to break up with him or not. We have both stayed with each other because we want to work things out, however as he has expressed to me and I have noticed: this creating an unhealthy environment and he feels like he is in an unhealthy environment. I never want to keep my boyfriend in an environment in which he feels unsafe and not happy. To clarify, I am willing to work things out with him through and through. But, lot of the time I worry because of the several arguements we have had, that he is not happy but yet he stays. I cry a lot and I feel terrible. I never open to my mom about things ever but, I did the last argument because of how terrible I feel about it all. I feel like I'm not enough. I find myself trying but even I know my efforts aren't enough for this relationship. Any advice will help which is why I've taken it to here. I can't fully explain my whole relationship and timeline of events but hopefully this was enough information (if not I will try to update this) thank you if you read this.

Looking for places to have a nice graduation dinner next week with parents. No budget limit and was looking at Lacroix but wondering if there were any places people prefer more. Thanks in advance!

So I (33M) proposed to my fiancée (30F) a few months ago, and we’ve been planning the wedding ever since. She wants a traditional Catholic wedding, but I suggested something that may be a little abstract. I suggested having our wedding on a boat. Ever since I was a kid, I’ve been obsessed with aquatic life, and I thought the next best thing to having a scuba diving wedding was one that involved being on a boat! My fiancée was heavily against this idea. When I asked why, she said that she is “deathly afraid of water, especially deep water, and would not want to be at risk of drowning if she fell in the water due to being in a heavy dress." I thought this was crazy of her to say, because clearly, if we were on a boat, there would be lifesavers and trained professionals that could save anyone that fell over. I asked if the cost was the true reason why she did not want to do my concept, and she said no, but I doubt that. We are both in graduate school and are in a decent amount of debt, but we have family members willing to contribute to the cost. Additionally, I have a family member willing to donate their boat for the wedding. The argument got pretty heated, with her calling me “ignorant” and saying that I’ve known about her fear of water for years and never listened, but this is the first time I’ve heard of it. She stormed off, and the argument ended there.
I am a deep believer in not letting fear guide your decisions, so when she said her only objection was being scared, I thought of a way to make her less scared. That night, while she was asleep, I ordered a water bed on Amazon, got two-day shipping, and set the delivery time to when I knew my wife would be at work. I called up a few friends to ask if they were free, and I planned to have everyone meet up to help me remove the old mattress and replace it with the new one. When it finally got delivered, I started working on removing the mattress.
Essentially, we were done by late afternoon, and I had enough time to cook dinner and get ready before my fiancée got home. We had a good night, and everything was going fine until she came to get into bed. I made sure to wash the sheets and covers and remake the bed so everything looked identical. When she got in, she said, “What the fuck is this?” so I told her what I had done and why. I just did it to make her less sensitive to the feeling of rocking in water! She started yelling at me, telling me that I never respected her decisions and that she wasn’t sleeping in our bed tonight, and locked herself in the guest room. The next morning, when I got ready to go to work, she still hadn’t left the room, and I assumed that that night she would be willing to talk. However, when I got home, the door was still closed and her shoes were unmoved. I texted her a few times, asking her to talk, before deciding just to go to sleep. When I sat on the bed, I sank incredibly deep. This was because she POPPED HOLES INTO THE WATER BED. It leaked everywhere, causing the carpet underneath to be SOAKING WET and damaged. I went to try the knob on the door to tell her to come out so we could talk, but the door was unlocked. The room was empty, and when I looked at the bed, there was a note stating she went to her parent’s house for a few days to think about this and us.
I told my friends this, and almost everyone is saying I am an asshole for doing this, but I don’t think I am. I just wanted my fiancée to see that a boat wedding is not that scary. AITA?

TL:DR: My fiance is messaging another woman, and i am devastated. And very pregnant. How do i navigate this?
Background: We've been together for 5 years, engaged for 2.5. We have an 18-month old together and I am currently 32 weeks pregnant. I also have a 9 yo from a previous marriage. We bought a house together 2 years ago. I lost my job in March and he has his own business.
Full disclosure: I've been in some rocky relationships. I've been cheated on, I've been the cheater. But I have never loved anyone like this, and I've never even considered cheating on my fiance. In fact, I outgrew my "wild" phase when we started getting serious, and I have never been more happy, loved, satisfied, and wanted.
Until recently. 2 weeks ago, he had to go out of town for work. He asked me to go, but we had nobody to take care of our dogs, so I stayed home with my 18-month old (my 9 yo was with other parent). We had been in a weird funk for a couple of weeks before this, and I really didn't know why. I thought the distance would maybe help, and it did. We flirted, talked dirty, said how much we missed each other, & we were both super lovey. I couldn't wait for him to get home.
However, one odd thing happened. He told me he'd like to watch me with another woman. This immediately sent up red flags, because he knows that I HAVE done that before but he's never said he wanted that to happen. All kinds of thoughts went through my head.. "Is he wanting to see someone else? Am I not good enough anymore? am I not satisfying him sexually?" But, I told him I would do that since it was his fantasy. I asked him who he had in mind, because I KNEW he had to be thinking of someone. He said he didn't know, but suggested the person I did it with before, which happens to be my best friend. We were young and experimenting, we've grown past it, and I'm not interested in that with her at this point. So, i told him as much. He said okay, then we can go on a dating app or something together, and reassured me that he would NOT go on any without me or look for anyone without me.
Nothing much more has been said about it.. he worked at home for a week, then last week our son and I joined him out of town. I thought we were good.
Last night, I was in the bathroom getting ready for a surprise congratulatory dinner I threw for him for obtaining a new license for his business, and he left his phone in the bathroom with me. His Snapchat went off, it didn't phase me, but he hurried into the bathroom and snatched his phone up. It ended up being his brother and he announced that to me like.. I care? So it was weird. Later, he ran into the store and left his phone in the car and I snooped.
There was a message thread from a lady that I don't know. His last message to her was along the lines of, "I hope I didn't freak you out last night by asking you to fool around." She hadn't yet responded. I almost threw up. I didn't dare scroll up to see the rest of the conversation because I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it. I closed Snapchat and set his phone down, and drove home like nothing happened. I got my kids to bed, then sat in my bed and cried for 3 hours. He was in the basement watching TV.
I vented to my aforementioned best friend, who confessed to me that after we had talked about his fantasy, he messaged her to ask if she would be interested.. after I told him I didn't want that. Why didn't she tell me when it happened? Because she's an awful friend and always has been, but I can tell her anything. Now, though, I don't even want to talk to her.
I had no idea what to do. I'm broken. I text him to say that I wanted to get my tubes tied after this baby (we'd been debating on having another) because if something happened to us, we'd have 4 kids with split parents. Idk why, it was the only thing I could think of that would alert him to the fact that something was wrong, without having the full-on conversation. He asked why I was thinking like that, said that he would never leave me, blah blah blah, a bunch of total horse shit in my opinion. I eventually went to "sleep" (if you can even call it that), and he came to bed and snuggled up to me. I pretended to be snoozing.
We had a big fun day planned today, so I didn't want to ruin it for my kids. Which is why I chose to not confront him last night. I held it together pretty well, except in the shower and now. But he can tell something is wrong. He asked me about 100x what's wrong, if he did something wrong, etc. He also had a very bad upset stomach today. Maybe nerves?
Anyway, I'm now getting my kids to bed and then I'm going to sit down with him. I really don't know what to expect. I don't think there is anything he could say that will make me ever feel secure again. I truly thought this was my forever, my happy ending. I could go on and live this life, where I'm constantly second guessing myself and being suspicious any time he kisses me, but I don't want that. I'm in the most vulnerable position I've ever been in, and it is fucking terrifying. I have no one. I have no job, soon to be 3 kids, and hell, maybe homeless.
Please send me good vibes, prayers, whatever you believe. And if you have a similar story and you were able to move past it and be happy again, please tell me how.

Need to vent - please read if you can
Just had a really rough day and need to vent as I don’t have many friends.
Met my wife in college (2010) and everything was going great, We moved in together, graduated, both started working full time and got married in 2014. We have 2 daughters, ages 7 and 5
I was working 3rd shift and would come home, watch my 7 year old when she was a baby until my wife got home and then I would eat dinner, take a nap and wake up for work. I did this for a year or 2 and then my mother in law started to help out. Got a text from my wife saying her mom just walked out of the house yelling at my daughter and went home. Supposedly was calling her a brat and spoiled (to a 2-3 year old) etc.
We then had baby number two in 2020. This was especially difficult with Covid. I worked in drug manufacturing and was required to be on site. So I would work 3rd shift and come home and sleep during the day as we had a nanny at this point (non vaccinated which is important later on). With Covid my wife was super cautious. I was cautious, but she was very cautious. Everyday when I got home from work I had to immediately take my shoes off outside, come in and throw my clothes in the washer and immediately shower. I was the only one doing grocery shopping which had to be wiped down etc etc. my parents lived next door to us but were unsure of getting vaccinated and my wife then did not want them anywhere near the kids. This goes for my aunts uncles and my 2 sisters who were not vaccinated as well.
After our children were born, my wife changed pretty drastically. I was always nervous about having a child from a financial aspect and if we could literally even afford it etc but she assured me we could and I was madly in love with her and wanted to be a father. But once they were born, especially after baby number 2, it felt like everything I did I couldn’t do right. Couldn’t do the dishes right, the laundry correctly, or anything for that matter. But it was only me. Example if I forget to put my shoes away when I come inside, she would call me out about it whereas if she didn’t put her shoes away, I would be a total asshole if I even mentioned it.
She wanted me off of third shift because the girls were too much for her to handle at night by herself, so I took a role on 1st shift where I was home more at night but it didn’t really change anything.
We saved up and were able to purchase a house. Things had gotten so tense between the two of us because she was getting mad at our kids for any reason, ignoring them and just staying in her room while leaving all chores to me (and I mean everything, breakfast dinner lunch, laundry dishes cleaning the bathroom cutting the lawn etc etc) all while she just relaxed in our room.
It got to a point that on the first day we moved into our new home July 2021, I told her that I think she needs to get help and that I would help her and support her etc and she responded by telling me she wanted a divorce.
We talked things through and were together, things seemed to be better. I worked hard and got a new job at work which ended up being a majority remote once I talked to my boss and told him I would like to be home more for the kids wife etc.
So fast forward a year and in the summer she said she had an appointment for a massage 1.5 hours away near her parents lake house. I was never really a fan of the lake house as it’s kinda where she grew up, it’s all her mom talks about and she has people up there still that she has been with in the past.
So I stay home with the kids for the weekend, and I found text messages of her to a guy who lives up there basically saying it was nice seeing him again and that she thinks he was always the one etc etc and sending quotes from a book to him. When she came home I asked her at night about it and she lied. We went to marriage counseling and tried to work on things. One thing I was frustrated with was the sex aspect as we had not had sex in 2 years. She told me that she would not have sex with me unless I got a vasectomy. So I did. And we’ve had sex less then 8 times since then, none of which have been in the past year or so.
One thing I was really against now at this point was going to the lake as the guy she met up with lives on the lake near her parents house. So she ended up booking an air bnb for a week and we all ended up going up there and I was miserable the whole time.
Fast forward a year, I asked if she was sure she wanted to file for divorce and she said yes so I got a lawyer and filed for divorce. We are in the midst of figuring out what to do with the house but it’s going to kill me refinancing my rate. But this morning she wakes up and asked if we have anything planned. I told her I needed to go to the bank and she asked our girls if they wanted to go their with me or if they wanted to go with her to her parents lake house. Of course the girls wanted to go to the lake so I was home by myself today without the girls. I cleaned up the house for everything cleaned ups and tidy for everyone.
I know I’m ranting but it made me so sad and so mad about her going there. I feel like we were meant for each other but we both hold so much in because we hate confrontation which I think is how we ended up in this position. Just sad all around.
I feel like sometimes we are making the wrong decision for our kids and the family and it makes me sad thinking of her with someone else and now having to compete against someone else being my girls dad etc.
Just needed to rant and will be looking at comments if anyone has any advice for me or just encouragement. I would really appreciate it