Fake divorce papers

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/TASoDHype posting in AITAH
Concluded as per OOP
1 update - Medium
Original - 16th May 2024
Update - 17th May 2024
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AITAH for leaving my fiancée after I learned there were strippers at her bachelorette party?
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What the title reads basically. I(29M) and my ex-fiancée(29F) were together for 5 years. We should have been married now in the normal conditions but I broke up with her and cancelled the wedding 2 days before it because they invited male strippers to bachelorette party. I am personally not a fan of these parties but reluctantly agreed after both groom & bride side confirmed we would keep it simple. I told my ex-fiancée I am not comfortable with strippers or other kind of crazy things. She agreed. I also told my friends if they were to do a stupid thing without me knowing, we would have problems.
We stayed at my friends' summer house and chilled there by the pool, did some wow raids and played board games. My ex-fiancée and her friends went to a restaurant then rented an airbnb. There was no problem during the night and next day I asked how things went. She and her close friends said it was really chill and good. We returned to the city centre after that.
I encountered another bridesmaid that day when I was shopping for a bracelet for my ex-fiancée for her upcoming birthday. I asked that girl how's everything as we were in the same department at the college but rarely talk now. She is closer with my fiancée than me. She said it's going good and last night was crazy with all the strippers. After saying that she looked uncomfortable. I asked her about the details but she was not willing to tell much. I think she realized she should not have talked about it. I laughed, said goodbye and left.
I confronted my fiancée and she seemed surprised about it. She was denying it first, then told me nothing crazy happened and one of the bridesmaids invited strippers. I reminded her that it was a strict boundary for me. I asked about the details but she said there was nothing much with strippers just solo dances and that's it. I told her I need some time to think.
Almost all of the bridesmaids messaged me ensuring nothing happened when I was on my way back home(definitely not coordinated). Things happened after that but in the end I decided to break up and cancel the wedding. I lost some money since it was only 2 days before the wedding. Things are not cool right now. My head is messed up, I get criticism from everyone and no idea about what to do. My sister told me to see a therapist to process my thoughts and feelings. That is what I'll do next. Some mutuals suggested me that I should reconsider things and stop being so whiny about such a small thing. I do not think it's such a small thing especially when they all tried to hide it from me.
AITAH here?
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Comments
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tasty-horse-paste
This is strangely similar to something that happened recently on 90 day fiancé.
Edit: A lot of people saying disagreements about strippers etc. is common, which sure, but it was the detail about playing MMO games by the pool at the bachelor party that got my attention. But I'm not saying OP's story is fake; it just reminded me of the 90 day thing.
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former_farmer
Because this happens a lot. Some people think that cheating in the bachelorette party is correct. It's so dumb.
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boredathome1962
NTA. "It was crazy with all the strippers" is hugely different from "it was really chill and good". This isn't just lying, this is a total reversal of the truth. Even her "it was just solo dances" is not the same as "crazy". So they are lying, all of them, except the first one.

OOP: Everyone is telling different things. One person says it was crazy, my ex says it was just solo dance, another person says it was different. I do not know whom to believe to be honest and that's one of the reasons I lost trust here. Apparently, the stripper was naked and that even alone is a dealbreaker for me. There is no way for me to know what happened that night and why she did not even bother with calling me or telling me about it.

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**Judgement - NTA*\*
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Update - 1 days later
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TL;DR: Bitter truth was revealed bit by bit. Ex-fiancée had sexual interaction with a stripper. It's therapy time.
I read most of the comments in the original post and thank you for the advice. My problem was that not her being blindsided by her friends but lying. Every bridesmaid told different things and none of them gave details about what happened. I believe you can understand it just shatters the trust and makes you think there is something going on.
I thought there was something wrong with me after reading the comments. There were a lot of YTAs and I thought I should apologize. One of the bridesmaid reached out to me last evening. I suspect she saw the post somewhere and recognized it. I knew my fiancée was having problems with her friends since last week but I did not know the extent.
Apparently, my ex-fiancée and her close friends blamed the girl that I encountered at mall about everything. This divided the group and led into a verbal fight. I will skip the personal details here but in the end she told me my ex-fiancée and other bridesmaids got sexual with the strippers. My fiancée was the only one who had boyfriend/fiancée/spouse(at least monogamously) there to my knowledge. Also, I was told by her that my ex-fiancée was not blindsided with stripper invites. She was happy to see the strippers and was relieved she had an excuse. I do not have proof for all of these but I got a short video of girls making out with strippers. One of the girls is my ex-fiancée and that's enough.
She has been trying to reach out to me since we broke up. I confronted her again. At first, she denied it again then it became we just touched, then okay we kissed too, okay I gave him a handjob, finally I was coerced into doing these by others as I pressed on. I just blocked her after the last part. I did not see any need to learn further. I was hurt already but learning that I got cheated on hurt more. I am not sure if it's the full truth even now. I will never know but all I can say is it hurts. I will go to a therapist to not carry my luggage to my next relationship. I lost 15K from the wedding related things and need to focus on filling the hole for a while.
Some misogynists made weird comments about women and I'll just ignore them. Some of the people told me I am an insecure, unfunny nerd for playing WoW on my bachelor party. Isn't the whole point of bachelor parties having "one last fun". It was raiding non-stop with the boys for me, not having one last sexual interaction with a stranger or having a stranger's butt on my face or penis. I will not miss on out these during marriage anyways(omitting the stranger part).
That's it. It's therapy time tomorrow and thank you for the help.
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Comments
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scotswaehey
I will never understand why people like your Ex Fiancée throw it all away for one night
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BigBlackBlasphemer
Not just that, the whole group had banded together in solidarity to lie.
If it wasn't for one person, they would've gotten away with it, while gaslighting OP the whole time
I hope all those votes calling OP, an AH rightly feel like DA's.
15k and a cancelled wedding is still LOADS better than divorce after the fact. You're doing the absolute right thing.
Also, I AM petty enough to blast her publicly with receipts if she wants to play the victim and make me look like the bad guy.
And the first person I'll send the video of her cheating to is her Dad. See how she likes those apples
PSA: Don't be the simp guy who didn't want to send his "wife" to jail after everyone caught her trying to poison him with bleach in the coffee machine.
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SuccessfulSeaweed385
I had a lan party at my bachelor party and it was awesome. Fuck the haters and screw your ex. NTA.
FarquaadStoleMyWig
My brothers bachelor party was pizza, flip cup, and halo reach on system linked Xbox’s. Fucken best night ever
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

As the summer break approaches for Parliament and MP head back to their riding s, I’ve thought up some interesting ways to protest mass immigration.
One idea I have been playing with as a means to protest mass immigration, is to make up fake job fairs at MP and MPP’s local consistency offices as well as the Head Offices of corporations that are benefiting from mass immigration or support the centaury initiative.
Spam a bunch of signs around saying “Job Fair, Indians only” or something along that lines.
Second idea is a bit more cheeky. Put up signs and posts online saying “White Women looking for Indian man” followed by the phone number and or email address of your MP or MPPS constituency office and corporations supporting the century initiative HQ as well. I kinda got this idea from Unifor when they told a bunch of people to phone Doug Ford(Don’t give out personal phone numbers of MP’s)
All three party's are fair game for this, since they all support mass immigration. This is meant to rub their noses in the mess they have created over the decades, and to be honest I think a lot of our representatives live in a bubble where they don’t see the impacts of their shitty dissensions.
What not to do
Do NOT post personal or home phone numbers. Do NOT post their home addresses.
Another Idea I have been playing with is to start discouraging people from coming to Canada or any other western countries for that matter by either making posts online/on social media and buying up news paper space in other countries. This also would also take effort and a lot of people(and abit of money) to pull off, and you would need people fluent in the language(s) of the target country as well. The Danish government does a similar thing to discourage people from immigrating to Denmark, if our government wont do this, then we should.

(All names are fake, my dad has reddit so precautions yk)
Dad u cunt
Your daughters Zahra and Quinn who you completely disregarded their whole existences and shown you don’t give a shit about are in Australia. And all you can say is “Block Margot” and whine about it. Like ok Dad you had a breakup NOBODY FUCKING CARES. You don’t want any contact with your kids just because you have a problem with the mother? Wow real mature for a 39 year old.
So then why exactly are we in contact? Since you know, you divorced Sloane. Ohh but its different right because of the marriage yap yap yap yap. Well its not, its not different because they are your children JUST as much as I am and you need to get over yourself and stop making excuses.
Margot is upset, she just wants her children to have a fucking relationship with their Dad despite whatever drama yall had (over text) and all you can say about them is… well nothing because you haven’t asked a thing about them and their lives have you? You have taked about everything BUT them.
You have talked about ‘But what if Margot tries to get money out of it’ ‘But Im not moving to England’ ‘But Im not with Margot anymore’ ‘She was rude to my parents’ OH BOO HOO. So all this crap is what matters more than your kids? Wow.
Im not even asking for much. Nobodys asking for you to move overseas. Nobodys asking you to send money overseas. You can still be a Dad when you arent together with the Mum. And can you blame her for being rude to your parents? You know, seeing…well maybe because they were rude to her? Ever thought about that?
All you have done is been negative about this whole thing. You weren’t even just a bit positive about them coming to Australia for quarter of a year. Your choosing your grudge on Margot over them. You spend more time with your fucking girlfriend and her kids than yours. So selfish.
If you still don’t budge after this Im telling your parents all the gossip. If this is what I have to do to get your attention I WILL do it. I’m not asking for much, Im asking for the BARE MINIMUM. At least meet your kids and let me meet my sisters. If after all this you refuse anyway, I’ll skip school when I feel and do whatever the fuck I want, I’ll go on the train ALONE to Docklands and meet them myself.
Dad they are family. And Margot might not have been a good partner or whatever but she is a good Mum and thats all that matters, you need to stop making this about yourself and your complaints, your shit. When you said you want no contact with Margot that genuinely hurt me. Because saying that is also saying you want zero contact with my sisters. They are my family. If you leave this too late they will hate you like the way I hate my Mum, and then Margot actually might try and get money out of you.

Hello dear Reddit-community.
I am asking for a friend who is dealing with the mysterious circumstances of his fathers death - 8 years ago. This is located in northern Morocco
Summary: The departed was found dead - one Monday afternoon - in his home. The family who arrived to the scene describes the body as having blood from the mouth. The doctor - who is related to the suspects - arrived and spend 2 minuttes establishing a cause of death, Heart-attack.
There are many suspicious circumstances surrounding the death of the man.
I will name a few for purpose of context:
2 month prior to the death - the victim wrote a complaint to the district attorney, describing that he feared for his life due to death threats from his 3rd. wife and her father.
The victim died 3 days before finalizing a 3 year long divorce case.
The victim was also in the middle of reclaiming his assets and properties that the 3rd. wife had fraudentyl acquired via a series of falsifications of company papers and deeds. - All felony cases that were in court at the time of death.
So here is the question - Is it possible - in any way - to die from a heart attack and subsequently have blood from the mouth?

Rudy Giuliani got more than cake and presents for his 80th birthday bash – he was also served justice.
The former New York City mayor was tripping the light fantastic with pals in Palm Springs Friday night when he was intercepted outside the party at the home of top GOP consultant Caroline Wren by two officials from Democratic Arizona Attorney General Kris Mayes’ office, sources told The Post.
The pair served Giuliani with a legal notice of his Arizona indictment for allegedly being involved in a plot to overturn the 2020 election in favor of ex-President Donald Trump.
Most of the 200 guests were gone by the time the duo showed up around 11 p.m., but some of the stragglers began screaming – including one woman who cried as Giuliani was handed the papers, according to sources.
Giuliani, however, was not fazed, insisted a source close to the ex-mayor.
“It actually wasn’t that big of a deal,” the person said.
The party’s guests — who received gold-and-black invitations featuring a photo of Giuliani in a tux and another of him wearing aviator shades and a USA hat — included embattled former Trump advisors Steve Bannon and Roger Stone.
“While crime in Arizona is at an all-time high, the Arizona [AG’s] office felt it was a good use of resources to send multiple agents across the country to storm an 80th birthday party like it was Normandy,” fumed Wren.
Giuliani seemed to be enjoying himself throughout the party – celebrated 11 days before his actual birthday on May 28 – even posing for a photo with a bevy of blonde bombshells that he posted on X while taunting Mayes.
https://nypost.com/2024/05/18/us-news/rudy-giuliani-served-with-arizona-fake-electors-indictment-during-80th-birthday-bash-in-palm-beach/

I'll be completing my Bachelors in CS in July and I'm currently an SWE intern(spring intern) at a good company(not as great as Google but it's fine) and I also hold a full time offer. I'm looking for research roles to continue research part time under some good professors who may or may not be working in good colleges. I am interested in Deep Learning and its applications in Healthcare and Biology and have done some work in it too(not a lot though).
I aspire to become a research scientist and I feel like being an SDE feels way too boring and overwhelming for me. Maybe it's my manager and team that made me feel this, but I feel if this would go on, I'll be exhausted very soon(like all these deadlines and faking the work that im doing, etc). Research on the other hand has interested me a lot, I did work under a college professor of mine in 1st yr of uni for a Biotechnology research paper and although the work was a lot, I liked doing that.
So, I need some suggestions about how shall I proceed with it and is it feasible to continue it while working full-time as I'll be beginning it from July/August. Also, any other cons that I might face while pursuing this.
Additionally, if there is someone who is working on such things and can guide me then it'll be really great.
Thanks.

(Father is 42, mother is 47.)
I don't know if this is the right subreddit, but anyhow, I believe that she's right in feeling the way she feels about everything. Not only about what he did, but the fact that his horrible genes passed on down to me as well. I'm the offspring of a deadbeat, so that makes me a piece of shit as well.
My mother says that whenever she looks at me, she sees him, so she can't fully resent him since I remind her of him every day. Which, it's probably safe to say that she does subtly resent me as well.
She couldn't wait until I turned 18, just so she wouldn't have to deal with the stresses of being a single mother. Which does hurt a lot to say the least, but hey, there's nothing I can do about that.
My father has his own trauma from his father being abusive to his mother, and leaving the family when he was 8. He said that he was scared to be a father, and he left me and my mother when I was a toddler.
Anyways, here's the full list of why I believe my mother is right in what she says about me:
1. My father currently owes anywhere between $25k - $30k in back child support, and it accumulated after him and my mother separated when I was a toddler.
2. He was not active at all in my upbringing, and he is selfish. In August of last year, he whined to me about being depressed too much, and that he was seeing a therapist to better himself. Then the next month, he tried to pressure my mother to take him off of paying child support, even after he still owes money.
3. My mother holds resentment towards him, and also me for the whole situation. In October 2022, she got drunk at my uncle's birthday dinner, and told him and his fiancé, whom she just met at that dinner, about an argument me and her had four months prior that involved me not liking her manipulative, and a liar of a best friend who was staying with us at the time. Right in front of me! I had to get up from the table, and go down to the basement to basically cry and let out my emotions.
4. The last five years has really shown me a lot about myself, and my situation. When I was a teenager, I had really horrible attitudes towards my mother (which she says I got from my "father", and she had to bring in her best friend who I mentioned earlier to straighten me out, and make me tougher. They called it "boot camp". It was a rough process, and I could see a bit of a difference, mainly with the attitudes stopping. But overall, I still feel like a weak coward lol. And I am a coward, since I had attitudes towards my mother, who worked her ass off homeschooling me throughout the entirety of elementary school, and worked night-shift jobs. I'm a piece of shit.
5. My mother only married my father because she was pregnant with me. After what will be 21 years later in December this year, him and her are still married. She's sent him divorce papers to sign before, but he wouldn't sign them. I don't know what the process is to get a divorce, but I always that both parties had to consent to get it.
With all of that being said, I believe it's important to disclose that I am currently planning on dying this year. I don't believe that I deserve to live at all. I messed up two people's lives. Plus, I'm the product of a no-good person. I'm taking out the trash (myself), so to speak.

2024 May: Every day I wake up to get on the computer, possibly download a game I won't end up playing but its nice the thought that I have a game waiting for me to play.
If not spent fully in front ont he computer monitor in a blackedout room for most days. I might chance at a morning walk then shower, then eat.
Its been over a decade I've been on meds I was forced on medications after I was voluntary patient in hospital at 17-18 years old. Im now 33.
My life before hospital was filled with movies, music and video games. Enough to keep me somewhat happy, just not that eager to be social. And thats before I knew I had autism (diagnosed at 15) the entertainment was a distraction from all the effed up crap I either experienced or witnessed.
Between 5 and 8 my parents split up, to this day I don't know why. I tried asking both of them but they both had variable different answers that changed. I was left trying to figure it out going back and forth between parents. But not having the social skills or the social knowhow to actually get answers I might need.
We lost the family home when I was 8. After that the neighbourhood friends dropped off. The family friends and their kids that I thought I got along with either left the area or just stopped having much to do with my parents.
Its annoying becasue I got along good with the girls my age. But once we all grew up things got complicated.
At school, I suspect the teachers gave me good marks when I was a troublesome kid. Looking back I was a lot meaner than I thought I was, I was bullied quite a bit and some years heavily, every day was worriesome. Like a cycle, I started off bad, then pulled my head in when my father found out and tried to work good, only that made the bullying worse. Like a cycle, I entered high school with the notion I won't be bullied again, I started acting up and it worked for 2 years. Then eventually I pulled my head in and tried my best regardless of how much people turned on me and abandoned me. Their was points were people were literally fighting over getting the seat next to me, I managed to get the whole class to form a big group for recess and lunch, the girls took a liking to me. But I was too stupid to do anythiing with it.
And once I started to try to work hard, the grades told another story, I wasn't that good. I had my moments, bookwork for science class. Maths above average. and more, if only 'he had applied himself a bit more.'
I still remember the end of high school, during science class (I didn't really get the work but I liked making diagrams and science writings) I had one book me mum got me, well, turns out it was one of those "cheap" "half" books (exercise book) that was half as big as a normal exercise book. Well, I ran out of space and pages very quickly. I was embarassed. I had to borrow a4 paper fromt he teacher just to do my work, i couldn't.
Another thing that was bad around that time was a old kid from my school moved back in town and started creating havok for me (his supposed best friend) and the rest of town. I hanged around with this kid for too long, he came back trying to milk off my "popularity" i "had" since he came back. He didn't realise I wasn't as popular any more. And it was obvious he was using me just like he was using everyone he could.
He got me started on smoking and drinking around 15. Damn near nearly smoked pot but we didn't know how to roll it properly.
I regret falling out with the popular group to make this kid the leader of a new group that was just shit. I fell out with the group because I realised that they weren't inviting me to their parties (Im probably glad though they were mostly males) and some of my better friends were going and going out on BMX's weren't as much a thing anymore.
Anwyays fast forward.
I stopped drinking with this kid, so caled friend of mine. and stopped being his friend. Maybe it was alcohol withdrawal but I felt depressed having no friends I could call and just hang out, no big commitments just woulda been nice some of my old friends could have been there. But they have made friends with beighbourhood bullies, and this kid that I stopped being his friend is in my opinion worse than a bully. He is a fr-enemy, a fake friend. Least a bully you can understand their intentions hwoever coarse or harsh and realise they are the bad one. But this kind of "friend" I have never came across, a fricken enigma of assholery. And by me giving him let, it let others just as bad flock to us and me, and use me for a place to party, drink, smoke whatever. I was there, but I was drinking myself through it in a probably chicken way to deal with it but I tried many times to push this kid away and he'd just manipulate his way back into you life. At the end I just broke down in tears and he said "Well if we're not friends you wont have any friends" then I said "If that means not having any friends like you, so be it"
I took about a year and I stopped working in a trade.
At the end of the year life got chaotic in my family and I felt trapped with my mum, so I tried to take a leap of faith. I went to hospital.
Now there is a lot I can share about life after the first hospital admission. A sorta err to caution for those that feel hospital "might" help. But I will summarize here and leave it up for discussion as I need to go to sleep.
Met my first love, now a girl I used to know.
Tried to work multipe times, and failed.
Went back to school, still didn't finish ha ha
Working through it, working with therapies in place and trying to help myself, with "their" help included.
Its been more than a decade on and off meds, but this time I'm trying to stick with it until I'm good and ready.
Recently I have gotten a case of gout (during last hospital stay, last year) and now I might also have "vertigo" so I can have sudden loss of bodily control if in a car, walking and other uncomfortable scenarios.
I share this hoping to give a peek into the life and trials of someone with autism. and if its wanted I may share my exp with schizo - type disorder as well as more about my hospital stays.
thanks

Worked at Nottingham British School, in Jleeb. Genuinely the worst school I've taught at.
Ownership: Here is where the murkiness and shadiness begins. The owner on paper is a Kuwaiti man, but the real owner is an Egyptian. The former is at best an accessory to criminality, the latter is devoid of morals and a thug. The Egyptian owner has lied, stolen, intimidated and threatened staff on a regular basis. He shouldn't be near a school. The Kuwaiti one acts holier than thou, but is part of the problem. They have children in the school and they are treated like royalty, they will bully staff and students and their will be no consequences because they will run to daddy.
Management: Inept, corrupt and spineless. They are habitual liars and will sell you the moon only to stab you in the back and then play victim. They have no clue how to manage a school, they are in these positions because they are slippery enough to throw actual good teachers under the bus and sabotage them infront of parents.
Resources: There are none. No systems. No SIMs. No SoW or SoL. No CPD. No labs that actually work or items for experiments. You're on your own and many times you won't even be able to get a board pen without the Spanish inquisition taking place.
Curriculum: Watered down. Dumbed down. No real education happens in this 'School'. It's an exam centre where tutors will leak answers and then charge students for them. Criminals.
Parents: Majority of the parents will target teachers and expect you to pass their children despite failing. Many expect you to award full marks because they were able to write their name on the paper. They will target teachers if you do not cave in to their unrealistic demands. Not every student can get 100%, that's not realistic, it's better having a real indication of your level than having a fake one because you bullied teachers.
Accommodation: Cockroach infested, mould, tiny apartments that were actually broken down from.larger living Accommodations so the Egyptian owner can save money at the expense of his teachers (as usual)
Overall, if you get an offer from this place, RUN. Do not even entertain it, they will genuinely ruin your mental health and then blame you. It's happened to countless teachers. Don't make the same mistake... RUN.
TL;DR: Stay away from Nottingham British School.
If you have similar stories, please share below.

Hi everyone,
My parents were divorced in Shanghai 5 years ago and my mother recently passed away so now I am trying to process her estate in Canada. The documents need to be translated into English to be valid there. All I can find in her belongings is a very lengthy summary of her court proceeding. Is there a legal document I am missing? Something along the lines of a divorce certificate? Any ideas where I can obtain something like that?
Any help is appreciated, thanks!

Hello guys, In my previous post I was asking if my sig sp2022 9mm was fake, and most of you said it was. I called back the seller and he said that the gun is real, he bought it brand new a long time ago, and case buldging never happened to him (it happened to me with every single shot with bullets from multiple manufacturers). And he won't take it back and give me my money.
He said he can send it to someone to fix it, but I don't trust him.
I uploaded multiple pictures here: https://imgur.com/a/fUxHfqp
Would you guys be able to tell, based on the pictures, if I can shoot this thing without it blowing up in my hand? And did any of you contacted Sig through email as a non-US customer? I haven't had any luck calling them and their website says email is only for US customers.
And also what is this yellow color on the barrel? I am worried the barrel is made out of weak materials, and that it might explode.
And I also want to ask does the sp2022 come with made in Italy Mec-gar mags? The gun came with 2 of them, a sig sauer box, cleaning tools, and a paper showing how to disassemble it, but I am not sure if the seller intentionally got them to make the gun look real.

It’s been almost 2 months since I found proof of his infidelity on his phone, sexting other women and having multiple hook up apps and messages he’s been participating in over the past couple of years of our marriage. I’m working up the courage to separate from him, slowly donating my extra things to Goodwill and moving my belongings to a relative’s spare room, planning logistics etc. I’ve given myself another month timeline to work up the courage to confront him and move out.
It’s so strange to finally see him in this new light for who he really is, a lot of the dots are finally connecting and the recent cold shoulder treatment now makes sense. I feel so foolish for having been deceived for over a year and as we go about normal day to day stuff now, I can’t see any signs of remorse or hints, and that’s unbearable to realize how well he is been faking everything is okay. It’s taken all my effort to go about business as usual and not scream.
What advice do you have for finally confronting him? i already have proof but don’t really want to be in a situation where im the one proving it. I’m rehearsing what I’m going to say, whether I should go no contact immediately, pursue a divorce, or give him a chance to rectify the situation.
While I’m resenting him, we still are getting along for the most part, like I’m savoring the last moments we will have together. But this grin-and-bear-it approach is really destroying me and my self esteem. I’m trying to remind myself of my self-worth and self respect, regain my dignity, etc but so much easier said than done.

For background context, I’m 33, gayer than christmas, and a nervous wreck.
Since 2019, I’ve experienced the death of (In order) my Step Dad, Grandmother, Sister, Mom, older Brother, and Step Mom. After my Grandmother passed, a sizable Family Trust was set up for me and my Dad. After my Mom passed, the state gave me custody of my little brother, so I used some of that money for a down payment for a nice house in a nice area— I wanted to get something stable and safe-feeling for my brother after such a tumultuous early childhood.
My husband has always tried to be supportive, or so I thought. I keep looking back though, and all I can remember are the times he’d give me shit for going to visit my grandmothemom when they were fighting their cancer battles. At one point, he even tried convincing me that my Mom was faking her illness, I think because he just didn’t like the area she lived in— a fairly ‘rough’ trailer park. He’s never had a job. I’ve tried here and there, but my depression always sucks me back underwater, and the Trust has effectively cut me off which lead to a wonderful case of ch 13 bankruptcy.
A year ago, I worked up the courage to try and file for divorce. Talked to an attorney, paid the retainer…. And then his dad (a family attorney himself) started listing all the ways he could have my little brother removed. I caved. I can’t lose my brother. I told myself that I was the problem somehow, and dropped the whole thing.
This past Tuesday, I woke up in crippling abdominal pain. Told the husband, who said he needed a shower. I waited ten minutes before I just grabbed my keys and left with a quick text on the way to urgentcare. I stumble into the waiting room and promptly pass out, night-night style. I guess they werent equipped to deal with that kind of thing because I then woke up in an ambulance (with the HOTTEST ems, I stg) being taken to a hospital. My phone is dead. Car is left at urgentcare. No idea where tf I’m being taken. Get rushed into a room and then get left for 30 minutes alone, bawling my eyes out with the thought that the cancer that took half my family has finally come for me. A nurse is kind enough to lend me her charger. My phone turns on… no calls or texts. Nothing. I call the husband who is asleep, irritated that I left without him, and that I woke him up. I don’t fight, I just tell him whats happening and where I am. A few agonizing hours later, I hobble out waiting for him. The last of my phone juice goes to the location I send him, and then I wait. And wait. And wait for two more hours (The hospital is 15 miles from our house).
I am a broken human being. Each death of my family chipped a little away, and on top of having to financially support myself, my teenage brother (who is a BLACK HOLE OF FOOD), and my… I gotta say it, my deadbeat husband… Underneath all of that, its hard to find the energy for.. anything, really. I just want to be happy again. I just want to feel like I have the freedom to heal. But I dont know where to find the strength to start. Therapy only goes so far, and meds only do so much. It takes action on my part, but I have no action left in me. I’m so tired. I miss my family.

Salam everyone,
I 25f was married (technically still am as it's my Iddah) to my husband 28m.. We met off of Muzz, and he asked for my hand within a few weeks. We ended up married after a month or so.
Things went downhill drastically. I have mentioned elsewhere on Reddit that, he wouldn't want to hug me, he wouldn't want to sit with me. I had to "quickly" kiss him. He wouldn't provide for me usually, I was a uni student, and my mum would help me out, and I would tutor. He didn't look after me when I was sick with the chickenpox or when I partially tore my muscle. If I chew gum for longer than a few minutes he doesn't like it because my breath smells, I can't walk normally apparently, I am too loud, etc.
His family would be mean. They'd laugh at my suggestions of baby names, tell me I'm not their blood, that I'm psychotic and jealous because my family don't sit with me, or jealous because I can't have a baby (don't think that's true...I think I can).
I have tried hard believe me. I tried to soothe him when he wanted to divorce me over another woman. I tried to be patient when his family were being awful. I tried to be patient when he didn't want me. I tried to be patient when I moved to my mum's after uni for a job and he didn't come to visit me because he doesn't want to or he's tired.
Except..in the marriage he would threaten to divorce me. Every few months. First over another woman, then, because he is overwhelmed, and now...he has actually divorced me on paper because apparently my personality is different to his. I am bubbly and outgoing and he wants to be left alone. He says our marriage is causing fitnah for everyone else and he can't cope.
I tried reconciling, I even have paid for him in the past, got him gifts, you name it. He said, he's not interested. And he can't balance me and his family. He's sorry. He blocked me off everything too, except text.
Recently...he's unblocked me. He hasn't messaged me.
The thing is I know I should move on, but here's where it gets more complex. My father SA'd me and was emotionally and physically abusive, so I no longer have contact with him, I have been raped. And I don't really have a wali except for my paternal cousins who can be toxic.
I have 19ish days left of my Iddah, but I am struggling. I feel like I am turning towards sin. I am struggling immensely, crying, doing haram.
I have previously also sinned. The abuse started when I was 5 and then became sexual at 15ish onwards till I was 20ish. I know it's no excuse, but I am diagnosed with BPD, I struggle immensely.
I want to find someone else. I'm worried of the judgement and worried that the wali thing may put them off. I don't know how to approach people, my mum has a very small circle. I feel so let down. I thought my husband would be my final stop after all this abuse...
The divorce happened over the phone and was formalized in writing. He hasn't come to see me since Jan.
When I tell people my divorce is due to my personality, they think I'm joking, until some of them see the texts.
I feel terrible. It's not getting easier. Idk what to do.
Posting here too as from an Islamic point of view people may understand more.
Jzk! Any advice would be appreciated.

A few years ago very well known terrible and violent person with a history of assaulting women and being arrested for it fled my town after the public found out he was arrested yet again for assaulting a woman (a friend of mine too). He moved towns, laid low for a few years, and is now trying to run a most likely unlicensed and illegal small venue. This appears to be the second time he has done this in his life.
I caught wind of this venue and found he was booking an all female band passing through the town, so naturally I sent them an email with a burner account with screenshots and links to his public record proving he is particularly violent towards women to warn them of him, I also included a link to an old public twitter profile a victim of his made to show his patterns of abuse. They responded thanking me for the information, then from a separate email address sent me another request for proof, I resent the info to that email address as well, and that was that. I believe they went on to play the show regardless, and I don't blame them being a touring musician is hard.
Fast forward a few months and I accidentally opened up that burner email and noticed he directly sent an email (assuming the band gave it to him) to the account threatening that he has contacted the police for me harassing him, his business, faking public records, that he has a lawyer, he has a paper trail, that he has received credible threats of violence by third parties (he was threatened at a concert by unrelated people who knew who he was), he named two people who he thinks run the account (both wrong), and claims to have a case with the police department that is currently being investigated.
I panicked for a second and deleted the burner account before doing a bit of research and found that he would need a court order to get any further identifying info from that email address. And considering his past criminal record, the fact he is probably a drug dealer (as he has always been), and that he is an obsessive liar, this case he claims to have is either fake or not really going anywhere.
Did I do anything actually illegal? Will the police even do anything if he's telling the truth? I'd like to think he's just blowing smoke, as he has been publicly melting down online and threatening anyone who talks bad about him.
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tl;dr court proven beater of several women and all around terrible person is threatening me for emailing a band playing at his business his assault and domestic violence records

My aunt F(40) and I F(25) agreed to both get an apartment with both of our names on the lease. She was in a rush to get an apartment as she had just had a divorce, and I wanted my own place after moving out of my boyfriend’s parent’s house.
She was in a rush to sign the papers and move in because she had nowhere else to go. Her sister (my other aunt) allowed her to live in her house rent free for a couple months before she needed to look for a place. So once she found out, I was breaking up she took it as an opportunity to get a roommate.
I feel like me being naïve and new to the lease signing process was seen as an opportunity to take advantage. The day of signing the lease they told us that we couldn’t view the unit because it wasn’t ready and I told her that I didn’t sign it because I don’t know what the condition is but she insisted that we do and that we can fix it later, so I did trusting her.
Once we move in, it’s a very old department and we are paying roughly 1,500 in rent. It’s a two bed two bath. It comes with the garage for a single car, which she has claimed since she pays more. She has the master bedroom with a standup shower and a bathtub as well as “his and her sink”. I have the guest restroom, which is just a simple small bathroom with a tub shower, toilet and sink.
Initially, the agreement was the I pay a portion of the rent, electricity and Internet. Her mother, which is my grandmother was trying to help us get us into our own place so sent her $5000 which was supposed to be divided by two which would give $2500 to her and $2500 to me. I didn’t know about this until recently as she hid it and was acting like it was given to her for months, and even made it seem like she was being nice by helping me out since I couldn’t afford some stuff during she furniture shopping. So when we went shopping for the apartment, I tried to help pay for half of groceries and little furnishings that I could afford out of my pocket. When it came to picking out couches, she made it seem like a very carefree experience (not paying attending to price) and was looking for a very big couch that was lavish and when I told her I couldn’t afford it, she said don’t worry Grandmother is helping us out. (but we’re just spending my portion of the money on the couch she wanted) If I had known that MY money was going towards that couch, I would’ve definitely chose a cheaper one and put more thought into selecting it.
I had a gut feeling about the spending and asked my grandmother about the “help she gave us”, she told me the truth: that $2500 should have gone to me, and she’s sorry that she didn’t clarify it soon as she sent it. She thought my aunt would’ve done the right thing and give it to me to help me purchase my furniture for my room. Later she went shopping for a brand new mattress and began shopping for more furniture and decor. Meanwhile, my room is full of free furniture that is used and that I’ve gotten from family members storage and IKEA furniture that I bought out of my own pocket.
I am a full-time student, receiving assistance from the gov receiving 1400/month as a Veterans dependent. And I also do commissions on the side to make extra money. So I live very frugally naturally and am a minimalist tbh and yes I CAN afford bills and own groceries. I’ll also watch all her animals while she’s out of town for free (2 cats and 1 dog). I only have one cat and often clean the whole apartment, including helping her with her laundry that sits in the washedryer. Since i see it as a contribution and helping her out.
The agreement has changed in the past four months that I’ve lived with her. We are 4 months into a 14 month lease. She pays $1200 a month for rent, I am responsible for everything else. That being: whatever is left of rent, water, electricity, Internet, and I have to pay for my own parking every month at the apartment we stay (she gets garage so she doesn’t have to pay parking)
Lately she’s been asking me if I’m going to get a job and to start contributing more towards the rent, which caught me off guard as I thought we had already come to an agreement on the rent/bills situation before signing the lease and revisiting about a month ago. Right now I’m roughly paying $600-$700 in utilities and rent combined. If it gets more expensive and bills go up I am responsible for the overages and she seems to like to leave the AC low and lights on. She’ll leave her clothes in the washer and forget to throw them in the dryer and end up washing them again. The same thing with the dryer. Even if it’s dry she’ll, have to redry it to “freshen it up”.
I’m also probably undiagnosed OCD, my only complaint to her is to be clean and at least keep common areas tidy. She likes to leave things in the sink overnight, dump her weeks worth of coffee cups that she brings from work in the sink and leave them for hours. Her dog will pee around the apartment and I find it after it dries up and becomes sticky after I step in it. I’ve mentioned these issues before, but she seems to shrug them off and give me excuses.
I’ll leave for days at a time and give her a notice on when I leave and come back because I know I am leaving my cat with her, but I make sure he always has food and I come by and check on him, clean litter box and tidy up around the place if I’m staying at my boyfriends, which is only 20 minutes away. She complain the fact that I’m gone too long. And when I’m at the apartment, it seems to bother her that I do school from home and can work from home doing commissions. I’m an introvert.
She is a shopping addict and is in debt and also runs a business that is in the red, she has no children and she seems to be living above what she can afford. Her ex husband is needing help financially and I think it’s affecting her financially. In the end she’s asking for me to help her as she is struggling with her lifestyle, relationship, and business.
Some people might say that my situation isn’t that bad or that I’m overthinking, but since this is a family member, it’s hard to set boundaries as well as stand up for myself when I respect her as an aunt.
She’s came to me offering to help me in the beginning when I was looking for a place and now it seems like a trap. My parents asked me to move back in so that I could save money and avoid rent but she said if I move out I’m fully responsible for breaking the lease or paying for her to downsize into a single bed room unit, which would be $1300 in fees or more. I want to stand my ground since my name is on that lease and we made an agreement. I’m frustrated and really need advice. Am I wrong, should I help more or is she just taking advantage.

I had a couple uncomfortable dreams, and was unable to stay asleep. I woke up at every hou40 minutes. If I managed to sleep past 15-20. I was dehydrated as well, because I ate too much flour right before going to bed. My first dream was about being watched.
There was probably a dream before that. After that one, I dreamt about a unveiled claim that billy corgan was molested by his mom. I was with my parents, sitting in the car by myself. A guy walked past who I acted like was serj tankian, even though he looked nothing like him. He had round features and looked almost mexican. Later, I had another dream where I had the awareness that my dreams were important. For a spiritual reason. Some godly, reason.
In the next dream, I was in a strange building with my family members. There was halloween decoanimatronics near the entrance or exit door. It felt like a ride as we slowly approached the walkway. I gracefully did so, probably trying to not look up at the animatronics. It's usually a reaper, constantly. Once we all were getting ready to leave, I carried a handful of things/candy. We walked outside off the porch, and I saw a younger version of my nephew. He took a piece of candy that was mine and ate it. I punched him square in the face. I vaguely remember seeing baby blankets. Before we walked outside. Everyone stood around, including my nephew at his current age. He was only a toddler. Around this time, we were in a room with some old ladies and boomers. Astrology was relevant for some reason, since I brought it up, likely. 'Leos are excessive, aries are misjudged as mean, and sags are suspicious and paranoid. About the people around them, their friends. About the world..' I paused before describing Sagittarius, feeling uneasy around the old lady who was listening to me. My mom stood at my side, probably bored or indifferent. Just like the lady seemed. She was a bitch; I could feel how much she appeared indifferent towards me. She must've been a sagittarius.
In the other side of the room, I was looking at a packet of paper that was laid in the filing drawer. It talked about the different eras of victorian houses. I saw it mentioned, 'fake doors' under victorian. That would make my house victorian, maybe. It's from the early 1900s, so just barely is it real victorian. I do not have fake doors in my house at all. I was picturing the banister on my stairs that doesn't have a lid that detaches. It's molded into the classic shape. A old lady walked over to me, pushing the filing cabinet away. Bitch, I was reading that.
At home, I went up into my bedroom. Cats were sleeping in it. A black kitten looked up at me, precious, as I tossed a cord across the floor, behind/above him. It was a cord with a plastic kitten arm on the end, like it was supposed to go to a handheld device. I thought of a gameplay controller that you plug into the tv. But it was too thin and obviously made to inject into something else. It had been laying on another kitten.
I took notice of a spider that was crawling on my bookshelf. It was white and pregnant. On one of my books, there was a spider sack on it. It was little. I don't know what happened to I assume was a second spider sack. A book with a white cover got my attention, because black specks ran over every inch of it. My little brothers had came into the room, before the infestation happened. Behind me was a rubber tub full of stuff with fabric on the top. My cats were sleeping on it. I saw my siamese in the room as well, looking at me. I woke up, itchy and scared. I hate this dream, and I also happen to hate spiders. Obviously, I have someone fake in my life. A domineering female/mother figure. Since it was both cats and spiders.

So we started talking in August and him and his baby momma had been separated since 2020. He always stated he hated her and couldn't stand to be around her. Flash fwd to November he calls me and tells me his baby moms is pregnant by a one night stand. I ask questions like is she gonna tell him and he said no she didn't want him involved which I thought was strange. This lie goes on for months until he finally confessed to me as she threatened to tell me herself that the baby was his. I always knew in the back of my head it was secretly his. As I always questioned why he couldn't file the divorce papers. I loved him so I just didn't wanna push the issue. We are still together to this day. I got my tubes tied 2 days into talking to him and have always wanted a boy. They have 2 girls together I have 2 girls as well and the new baby is a boy.... am I crazy for staying and I crazy for being excited it's a boy? Maybe I'm just delusional 🤦‍♀️

Ministers apologise and return £7,000 in benefits to woman, 93, with dementia
Government ministers have formally apologised and repaid £7,000 to a 93-year-old woman whom they held responsible for running up benefits overpayment debts even though they were told she had dementia and was unable to manage her affairs.
The case, which the minister for disability, Mims Davies, admitted was “disturbing”, was brought to light by the Guardian as part of its investigation into carer's allowance overpayments.
The agreement to write off the debt of the 93-year-old, whom the Guardian has chosen not to name, comes as ministers have promised to try new ways of sharing information with carers to try to prevent them building up months and years of overpayments.
Read the full article on theguardian.com
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DWP confirmed that it is developing an ‘enhanced notification strategy’ to alert carer’s allowance claimants to possible overpayments
Notifications designed to encourage claimants to report changes in income and so reduce the risk of being overpaid.
As part of its policy paper, Fighting Fraud in the Welfare System: Going Further, that was published earlier this week, the Department says (at paragraph 78) -

'In carer’s allowance we are progressing an enhanced notification strategy as part of our existing commitment to improve customer engagement, building on our existing communications with customers. As part of this notification strategy we are considering all forms of targeted contact to find the most effective and efficient solution, such as exploring the use of targeted text messages or emails to alert claimants and encourage them to contact the Department when the DWP is made aware of a potential overpayment.'

The Department added -

'The new strategy will help claimants understand when they may have received an earnings-related overpayment or are at risk of doing so, and will encourage claimants to contact the DWP to meet their obligation to inform the Department of changes in their income and other relevant circumstances. This will reduce the risk of those customers being overpaid.'

Note: having expressed concern that the DWP had 'done nothing' to stop carers building up huge overpayments of benefit despite knowing what people are earning, Work and Pensions Committee Chair Stephen Timms called on the National Audit Office to investigate problems with the carer's allowance system and, in particular, its failure to prevent or rectify overpayments.
Stephen Timms has also written to Secretary for State for Work and Pensions Mel Stride highlighting concerns about the DWP's lack of progress with overpayments since the previous committee's report in 2019. Mr Timms' letter repeats the committee's recommendation that the DWP increase the rate of carer's allowance and goes on to call for the DWP to review both the amount and the cliff-edge nature of the earnings limit and for the removal of the 21-hour study rule.
For more information, see Policy paper: Fighting Fraud in the Welfare System: Going Further from gov.uk
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Carers UK has welcomed the DWP's plans, noting this is the 'minimum' they've been calling for to tackle carers' overpayments. However, Director of Policy and Public Affairs Emily Holzhausen also highlights that implementing the strategy is 'urgent', asks that the whole issue be moved out of being branded benefits fraud, and that carer's allowance be reviewed as it should be 'modernised to reflect the realities of caring'.
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DWP-commissioned research highlights how the carer’s allowance earnings threshold influences decisions about how many hours carers work
Report also makes clear that the Department was made aware three years ago that there was room to improve claimant understanding and possibly reduce mistakes leading to overpayments by improving its communications.
The research, Experiences of claiming and receiving carer’s allowance, explores how and why people claim carer's allowance; their caring roles; experiences of combining paid work and care; and how well claimants understand the rules associated with the benefit. While carried out in 2020/2021, the research has been published today against a backdrop of calls for the wholescale reform of carer's allowance as a result of evidence that claimants who have earned above the carer's allowance earnings limit have been left with large overpayments and, in some cases, prosecuted for fraud.
While the research found that many claimants in employment felt there was a practical limit to the hours they could work, with many saying it was only feasible to be working part-time due to their caring responsibilities, it also found that -

• the earnings threshold appeared to influence decisions about how many hours some people worked. Even though claimants often denied that the threshold influenced their choices, they acknowledged being mindful to stay below the threshold. One claimant felt he had to refuse shifts at work that would take him over the threshold;
• in another example, the earnings limit led a claimant to reduce her hours as her wages increased, and eventually she was working so few hours that her employer felt it was not worth employing her due to her limited availability; and
• some claimants in paid work felt they might work more hours if not for the earnings threshold, and even suggested tapering the carer’s allowance earnings rule to encourage claimants to work more.

Published on the same day that the Work and Pensions Select Committee said that there has been insufficient progress in addressing the problems with carer's allowance that it highlighted five years ago, the research makes clear that the Department has been aware of the issues for some time. For example, it highlights confusion relating to the complexity of the earnings calculation, including how deductions such as childcare expenses and pension contributions are taken account of, and whether wages can be averaged if you earn more in a particular week.
In addition, with the Chair of the Select Committee Stephen Timms having said recently that the DWP has done nothing to stop carers building up huge overpayments despite knowing what people are earning, and the Committee having called on the National Audit Office to investigate the problems with the system, the research found that -

• poor communication on the part of the DWP meant that not all of those that had been overpaid benefit were clear on the reason for the overpayment;
• some said that while they were initially notified or questioned about an overpayment there was then no follow-up from the Department; and
• when the overpayment was initially raised, several claimants felt that they were spoken to or treated by DWP as though they had intentionally committed fraud when the overpayment had been a misunderstanding.

As a result, the research says -

'... there is room to improve claimant understanding and possibly reduce mistakes leading to overpayments by improving communications around eligibility criteria. Since claimants did not engage with the detail of their benefit regularly, possibly only considering it once a year when they received their annual letter, more frequent communications may improve clarity of knowledge around carer’s allowance.'

Other key findings include that -

• most claimants cared for close relatives, with two in five caring for a child (39 per cent), a quarter caring for a spouse or partner (25 per cent), and one in five (22 per cent) caring for a parent;
• caring was a long-term and high-intensity commitment, with half of claimants (52 per cent) spending 65 or more hours caring per week and more than half (54 per cent) caring for between 5 and 20 years;
• only 16 per cent of carer's allowance claimants were currently in paid work, tending to work part- time in lower paid jobs that they were able to fit around their caring responsibilities, with most (81 per cent) working 20 hours or less a week;
• of those not currently in paid work, seven in ten (69 per cent) said this was due to their responsibilities as a carer, with other barriers including a lack of flexible working options, claimants’ own health and confidence issues; and
• there was a lag between starting caring and claiming carer's allowance, with seven in ten claimants (70 per cent) caring for 5+ years, but only 3 in 10 (34 per cent) having claimed carer's allowance for that length of time.

For more information, see Experiences of claiming and receiving carer’s allowance from gov.uk
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Almost 135,000 people currently have an outstanding carer's allowance debt, with more than £250 million owed in total, according to figures supplied by DWP Minister Paul Maynard
DWP Minister also confirms that women represent 68 per cent of those with an outstanding debt.
Responding to a written question in Parliament from Work and Pensions Committee Chair Stephen Timms, Mr Maynard said -

'As of 14 May 2024, the volume of people who have an outstanding carers allowance debt is 134,800 with a total value of £251 million. This figure represents the total stock and as such the total monetary amount may have been accrued over multiple years. Those who have an outstanding carers allowance debt may no longer be in receipt of the benefit.'

Mr Maynard added that -

'Women make up the majority of carer’s allowance claims, and this is reflected in the proportion of those with an outstanding carer’s allowance debt. As of 14 May 2024, there were 42,800 (32 per cent) males, 91,900 (68 per cent) females and 100 (less than 1 per cent) not identified, with an outstanding carer's allowance debt.'

The Minister also confirmed that, as of November 2023, there were more than 991,000 people in receipt of carer's allowance, consisting of around 271,000 (27 per cent) males and 720,000 (73 per cent) females.
Mr Maynard's written answer is available from parliament.uk
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Total value of benefit overpayments in 2023/2024 increased to almost £10 billion, representing 3.7 per cent of benefit expenditure for the year
New DWP figures also show that official error underpayments remained at around £1 billion, and that people could have claimed more than £3 billion more 'if they had provided accurate information about their circumstances'.
In Fraud and error in the benefit system: financial year 2023 to 2024 estimates, the DWP calculates how much money it overpaid or underpaid as a percentage of total benefit expenditure for the year (£266.2bn) - for benefits including universal credit, housing benefit, personal independence payment, employment and support allowance and pension credit - and how many claims were paid an incorrect amount.
Note: the statistics no longer include estimates of claimant error underpayments as these are now published separately, as confirmed in recent DWP guidance.
In relation to incorrect payment rates across all benefits for the financial year ending (FYE) 2024, the figures show that the total rate of benefit expenditure overpaid was 3.7 per cent (£9.7bn), compared with 3.6 per cent (£8.3bn) in 2022/2023. In addition, the total rate of benefit expenditure underpaid was 0.4 per cent (£1.1bn), compared with 0.5 per cent (£1.2bn) in FYE 2023.
Looking in more detail at the figures for individual benefits, the statistics include data showing that -

• for universal credit, expenditure increased to £51.9bn in 2024 with an overpayment rate of 12.4 per cent (£6.5bn) and underpayment rate of 0.3 per cent (£180m), compared to expenditure of £43.4 bn, overpayments at 12.7 per cent (£5.5bn) and underpayments at 0.6 per cent (£240m) in FYE 2023;
• for personal independence payment (PIP), the overpayment rate was at the lowest recorded level of 0.4 per cent (£90m), compared with 1.1 per cent (£200m) in FYE 2023. However, the underpayment rate went up to 0.4 per cent (£80m), from 0.3 per cent (£60m) the previous year;
• for pension credit, the overpayment rate was 9.7 per cent (£520m) in FYE 2024, compared with 6.8 per cent (£330m) in the previous year, with underpayments remaining unchanged at 0.3 per cent (£50m) for both years; and
• for housing benefit, almost £1bn (£980m) was overpaid in FYE 2024 (6.3 per cent of expenditure), compared with £860m (5.7 per cent) in 2023. Underpayments remained stable at 0.4 per cent of spending (£50m in FYE 2024 and £60m in FYE 2023).

In addition to the fraud and error statistics, the DWP has also issued Unfulfilled eligibility in the benefit system: Financial Year Ending (FYE) 2024, in line with its decision to remove claimant underpayments from its main fraud and error estimates. The new statistics set out the percentage of benefit expenditure that could have been paid to people with unfulfilled eligibility 'if they had provided the correct information', and show key findings that include -

• the unfulfilled eligibility rate for 2024 is 1.2 per cent of expenditure (£3.1bn), compared with 1.0 per cent (£2.3bn) in the previous year; and
• universal credit, PIP and disability living allowance (DLA) account for around three-quarters of the total value of unfulfilled eligibility (at £730m, £870m and £750m respectively in FYE 2024).

The DWP highlighted that -

'PIP has the second highest unfulfilled eligibility rate [4 per cent] of all benefits and fairly high expenditure [£21.6bn], so due to this combination, PIP accounts for around one-quarter of total unfulfilled eligibility in FYE 2024. DLA has the highest unfulfilled eligibility rate [11.1 per cent] but relatively low expenditure [£6.8m], so even though its rate is higher than PIP, it accounts for a similar amount of total unfulfilled eligibility in FYE 2024. Universal credit has a lower unfulfilled eligibility rate than DLA and PIP [1.4 per cent] but its high expenditure means that it also accounts for a similar amount of total unfulfilled eligibility in FYE 2024.'

For more information, see Fraud and error in the benefit system: financial year 2023 to 2024 estimates and Unfulfilled eligibility in the benefit system: financial year 2023 to 2024 estimates from gov.uk
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Work and Pensions Secretary Mel Stride has set out the DWP's plans to scale up its 'fight against fraudsters'
New measures include using machine learning to detect and prevent fraudulent claims, as well as introducing a new Bill to enable benefit fraud to be treated like tax fraud.
Issuing a written statement in the House of Commons on 13th May, Mr Stride said -

'In the continued fight against fraud, today the Government will publish a new paper setting out the progress we have made in tackling fraud and error in the welfare system - Fighting Fraud in the Welfare System: Going Further. The paper sets out the progress we have made in delivering the commitments in the Government's 2022 command paper Fighting Fraud in the Welfare System and it demonstrates where we are going further to protect taxpayers’ money from fraudsters.'

Highlighting that the Data Protection and Digital Information Bill, currently before Parliament, will enable the Department to work with third parties such as banks to identify claims that signal potential fraud and error, Mr Stride says that the new measures being introduced include -

• bringing forward a new Fraud Bill in the next parliament to treat benefit fraud like tax fraud, by providing for the ability to make arrests and conduct searches and seizures by warrant;
• exploring a new civil penalty to punish fraudsters, potentially broadening the scope of cases that can receive a penalty when the courts are not prosecuting, and increasing the value of the civil penalty;
• tripling the size of the Targeted Case Review programme to reach almost 6,000 staff with the aim of saving £6.6 billion by 2027/2028; and
• making changes to universal credit including new partly automated checks on self-employed income, new online prompts for claimants to re-declare their circumstances (such as if they have moved in with a partner), and increasing checks on capital when people claim the benefit to ensure they are eligible.

Note: the Department confirms that final decisions on accepting or stopping a claim will, however, continue to be made by a member of DWP staff.
For more information, see DWP updates Fraud Plan from gov.uk
In response to the above article the Disability News Service reported that the government's fraud policy paper ignores coroner’s concerns over review of disabled woman’s universal credit claim. Read the DNS article on disabilitynewsservice.com
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Less than half of legacy benefit claimants who were sent a migration notice between July 2022 and March 2024 have made a claim for universal credit, according to new figures from the DWP
However, new DWP statistics also show that 60 per cent of households that claimed universal credit have been awarded transitional protection.
In Completing the move to Universal Credit: statistics related to the move of households claiming Tax Credits and DWP benefits to Universal Credit: data to end of March 2024, the DWP sets out figures for the period since July 2022, noting that -

'In the period covered by this bulletin, the vast majority of migration notices have been sent to tax credit households whose likelihood of claiming universal credit and receiving transitional protection may be different from DWP legacy benefit claimants, the majority of whom had not yet been sent a migration notice in the period covered in this bulletin.'

The statistics include that -

• a total of 824,050 individuals (in 540,070 households) were sent migration notices up to March 2024 - up by around 300,000 and 200,000 respectively compared to the totals for December 2023;
• a total of 400,940 individuals (49 per cent of those sent migration notices), living in 275,980 households, have made a claim for universal credit;
• of households that have claimed universal credit, 166,860 (60 per cent) have been awarded transitional protection;
• a total of 238,990 individuals who were sent migration notices are still going through the managed migration process; and
• a total of 184,120 individuals who were sent migration notices have had their legacy benefit claims closed.

Move to Universal Credit statistics, July 2022 to March 2024 is available from gov.uk
Note: the DWP has also published Universal Credit statistics, 29 April 2013 to 11 April 2024­ which show that there were 6.7 million people on universal credit in April 2024 (300,000 more than the 6.4 million in January 2024) and that half of households on universal credit that received a payment in February 2024 included children.
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Department for Communities also confirms that claimants in receipt of other legacy benefits will be issued with migration notices 'in the coming months'
The Department for Communities (DfC) has confirmed that the 'Move to UC' rollout in Northern Ireland has expanded this week to include people receiving tax credits along with housing benefit.
Announcing the expansion of the process, Deputy Secretary of Work and Health at the DfC Paddy Rooney said -

'We continue to take a measured and carefully managed approach to migrating legacy benefit recipients to universal credit. We have already successfully completed issuing migration notices to tax credit only recipients and we will continue to take every step possible to ensure that everyone receives the help and support they need during this next phase of Move to UC.'

The Department also confirmed that once it has issued migration notices to all those receiving tax credits with housing benefit, the following groups will be contacted in this order -

• people claiming income support;
• people claiming housing benefit only, and those claiming child tax credit with income-related employment and support allowance (ESA); and
• people claiming income-based jobseeker's allowance.

In relation to the bringing forward of managed migration for ESA and ESA/housing benefit claimants in Great Britain, announced by the Prime Minister on 19 April 2024, the DfC says that it is working to assess the impact of this on the region. It also confirms that it will align with the DWP's aim to complete the migration of legacy benefit claimants to universal credit by March 2025.
For more information, see Tax credit with housing benefit recipients next to 'Move to UC' and Rollout of Universal Credit for Tax Credit and Legacy Benefit customers - screening from ni.gov.uk
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57,000 adverse universal credit sanction decisions were made in January 2024, according to new DWP statistics
DWP statistics also highlight that around 95 per cent of decisions are as a result of failure to attend or participate in a mandatory interview.
In Benefit sanctions statistics to February 2024, the DWP reports on both the rate and duration of sanctions for universal credit claimants who are in conditionality regimes where they be applied.
Key findings include that -

• in February 2024, 30.1 per cent of claimants were in conditionality regimes that were subject to sanctions and, of these, 6.52 per cent were sanctioned - down 0.64 percentage points from the previous quarter;
• over the last year, 94.9 per cent of adverse sanction decisions were for failure to attend or participate in a mandatory interview; and
• in February 2024, there were 20,000 completed sanctions in the 4 weeks to 13 weeks sanction duration band, 4,800 in the over 13 weeks to 26 weeks duration band, and 4,000 of over 26 weeks duration.

In addition, while the total number of claimants in conditionality regimes where sanctions can be applied has remained largely stable since May 2022 (currently at 1.95 million), the total number of adverse sanction decisions stood at 57,000 in January 2024, the highest since March 2022.
The DWP notes that -

'Comparisons with universal credit prior to February 2024 ... should not be made. This is because the data sources, methodology and rules of the benefits differ from those used for universal credit currently.'

However, it adds that, following the reinstated duration measures and rate methodology improvements, the data is now determined stable and fit for purpose and, as of May 2024, it is published under the 'Official Statistics' label as opposed to 'in development'.
For more information, see Benefit sanctions statistics to February 2024 from gov.uk
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DWP has admitted missing multiple opportunities to record the 'vulnerability' of a disabled woman whose death was later linked by a coroner to failings at the heart of its UC system
The Disability News Service reported on the case of Nazerine (known as Naz) Anderson, from Melton Mowbray, who died of an overdose in June last year, after receiving a UC review notice.
According to a prevention of future deaths (PFD) report sent to the department by coroner Fiona Butler, the DWP missed six opportunities to record Anderson’s “vulnerability” on its IT system while it was reviewing her universal credit claim, and had failed to act on the mental distress she showed in phone calls about her claim. It also repeatedly failed to act on requests to direct its telephone calls and letters to her daughter.
The DWP admits multiple universal credit failures before disabled woman’s death article is available on disabilitynewsservice.com
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Number of emergency food parcels distributed across the UK by the Trussell Trust has increased by 90 per cent over the past five years
Food charity reports that it distributed more than three million parcels last year, with more than a million of them going to children.
In Emergency food parcel distribution in the UK: April 2023 - March 2024, the Trust says that it distributed 3,121,404 food parcels, the most parcels that it has ever distributed in a financial year, representing a four per cent increase on last year's record-breaking numbers for 2022/2023 and a 94 per cent increase since 2018/2019.
The charity also highlights that the number of parcels provided to children has continued to rise, exceeding 1.1 million in 2023/2024, and that food bank support is provided disproportionately to children, compared to the proportion of children in the UK population. In addition, it notes that pension age households are increasingly likely to need to use a food bank, with food bank support for these households having more than quadrupled between 2018/2019 and 2023/2024 (an increase of 345 per cent), compared to an 81 per cent rise amongst households without someone of pension age.
Also sharing statistics on the reason for referral for an emergency food parcel - which include health, benefit issues, work hour changes, insecure housing, changes in personal circumstances, immigration status and domestic abuse, as well as income and debt levels - the Trussell Trust says -

'Across all households the most common reason for referral was due to issues with income and debt levels. The vital role of the social security system in driving these trends is clear from the fact that the majority (78 per cent) of people referred to food banks were reported to solely have income from the social security system, with a further 8 per cent having earned income as well as income from social security.'

Trussell Trust Chief Executive Emma Revie said -

'It’s 2024 and we’re facing historically high levels of food bank need. As a society, we cannot allow this to continue. We must not let food banks become the new norm ... A supportive social security system is the bedrock on which we end hunger for good. Building on this, we need much more effective employment and financial support for parents, carers and disabled people, and action to ensure everyone can have the security we all need to access opportunities and have hope for the future, through more secure and flexible jobs and investment in social housing. Food banks are not the answer. They will be there to support people as long as they are needed, but our political leaders must take bold action to build a future where everyone has enough money to afford the life’s essentials. The time to act is now.'

For more information, see End of Year Stats from trusselltrust.org
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Employment Minister Jo Churchill has provided a House of Lords Select Committee with an undertaking that the administrative earnings threshold (AET) in universal credit will not be increased again without a 'sound evidence base'
However, Minister's evidence to Lords Committee fails to address its dissatisfaction with DWP's explanation for not publishing robust evidence to support previous increases in the threshold.
Further to the Lords Secondary Legislation Scrutiny Committee's report on new regulations that implemented a further increase in the AET from 13 May 2024 - that criticised the ‘inexplicable’ lack of data evaluating previous increases in the threshold in September 2022 and January 2023 - the Committee held a one-off evidence session yesterday to question the Minister and DWP officials.
Introducing the session, Committee Chair Lord Hunt acknowledged that the DWP had agreed to share its informal findings supporting its AET policy. However Lord Hunt added that -

'... similar, no doubt to the material that the Social Security Advisory Committee saw but correctly declined, if information is not available to the House and the public, then we feel unable to consider it either.'

The Committee then questioned the Minister about the Department's failure to publish evidence providing an assessment of the impact of increasing the AET either before or after implementing the change.
In response, Ms Churchill highlighted that the Department did publish a randomised controlled trial evaluation in 2018 providing the highest level of evidence on the impacts of increased in-work conditionality that Ministers have had sight of. When challenged that this evidence is somewhat outdated and 'a bit threadbare' - as it has been relied on for three increases in the AET - Ms Churchill indicated that Ministers also had early sight of unpublished research (a Regression Discontinuity Design (RDD) study) that compares the experiences of claimants who are just below and just above the AET.
When pressed on the expected publication dates for this and further evidence, Mr Churchill said -

'I have asked for [the RDD study] to be available as soon as it can be, and the date I was given was spring 2024 ... I would like it out the door as soon as possible, so you have more data ... RDD is the next piece, the next building block and then, the longitudinal study will come through in 2025.'

Concluding the session with a final question, Lord Hunt, speaking on behalf of the whole Committee, said -

'... we're looking for an undertaking from you, not to further expand the cohort until the Department can publish robust evidence of its effects. Are you able to give us that undertaking?

Ms Churchill responded -

'So are you alluding to us holding 15 hours or with this latest laying at 18? Because I could certainly say to you, I think with all confidence that at 18, we want to understand the iterations and make sure that we've got a sound evidence base from there.'

NB - the increase in the AET in January 2023 was based, for individuals, on the equivalent of them working 15 hours per week at the National Living Wage, and this week's increase to the equivalent of them working 18 hours per week.
Despite welcoming the Minister's reply, Lord Hunt went on to say -

'... we accept your undertaking, except we are still as dissatisfied as we were because you haven't provided, in the view of the Committee, sufficient explanation yet. We are awaiting this robust evidence, which I think that we now expect in June 2024.'

The evidence session Regulations to increase the Administrative Earnings Threshold (Legislative scrutiny) is available from parliament.tv
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Work and Pensions Select Committee has called on the government to bring forward proposals to compensate women born in the 1950s who suffered as a result of the DWP's communication failures when their pension age was increased, and asks that it does so in the current parliamentary session
Committee chair highlights lengthy delay and urgency for affected women and calls on government to act on Parliamentary Ombudsman recommendations before summer recess.
Writing to Secretary of State for Work and Pensions Mel Stride, Committee Chair Stephen Timms requests government support for 'urgent action' following the Parliamentary Ombudsman's final report in March 2024 which recommended a remedy based on level 4 of its severity of injustice scale, putting awards at between £1,000 and £2,950.
Mr Timms says that the Committee does not seek to question the Ombudsman's proposal for compensation at level 4, but instead has focused on what a remedy may look like -

'The evidence we received indicated support for a rules-based system. This would be a system where payments would be adjusted within a range (based on the PHSO’s severity of injustice scale) to reflect the extent of change in the individual’s State Pension age and the notice of the change which the individual received. This would mean that the less notice you had of the change and the bigger the change in your SPA, the higher the payment you would receive. While not perfect, the advantages of such a system are that it would be: quick to administer; applying known data to a formula to determine the amount due; and relatively inexpensive (compared to a more bespoke system).'

The Committee's recommendation also includes some flexibility for individuals to make the case for further compensation in the event that they have experienced direct financial loss, for example where a woman whose divorce settlement was less than it would have been because it was based on the expectation that she would receive her state pension at 60.
Mr Timms also asks the government to consider -

'... the need for urgent action, given that the Ombudsman started to look at this issue in 2018 and that every 13 minutes a woman born in the 1950s dies ... Implementing a remedy will need parliamentary time, financial resources, and the data and technical systems only available to your department. It cannot happen without government support. We would ask you to bring forward proposals for a remedy by the summer recess.'

Mr Timms' letter to the Secretary of State for Work and Pensions is available from parliament.uk
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