Cute first grade poems

Hey there, I'm looking for someone new to talk to with the possibility of it becoming something more! (as the title says, I do prefer much larger body types as they're cute to me, but please know I'm not looking for sexual chat!) I really love learning about people, and would love to learn about someone new, about their passions and interests, and have someone who loves doing the same in return! I ideally would like to talk on discord eventually!
As the title says, I'm definitely more of a nerd than anything, haha. I love reading, cooking and baking, video games, and generally more homebody hobbies. I currently live in California and I'm going to start my first year of College this fall! To describe myself, I'm around 5'10, dark brown hair, hazel eyes, and I'm on the chubby side myself (although I'm losing weight, down 10 pounds and counting!). I'm also asexual, so I'd like someone who's okay with that!
For a partner, I'd ideally want someone genuine and caring, and while not required, it'd really help if you shared some of my hobbies! I don't have many appearance preferences, tbh!

If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
ASSESSMENTS I CAN COMPLETE:

• Online Courses (1 - 20 Weeks Long)
• Homework Assignments
• Exams Quizzes Tests
• Excel Projects
• Discussion Forum Posts
• Research Papers Term Papers Essays
• Employment Assessments

MY MATH SUBJECTS OF EXPERTISE:
I am very knowledgeable and proficient in assisting students in a wide range of mathematics classes. I can help students complete their homework assignments and other projects get an A on quizzes, tests, and exams (including proctored assessments) answer online discussion posts write essays & papers in MLA APA Chicago format and provide general overall academic help in each math course listed below:

• Advanced Placement Honors High School Level Math
• AP Calculus AB A.P. Calculus BC
• AP Statistics
• Biostatistics Bio-Statistics
• College Algebra Intermediate Algebra
• Business Calculus
• Business Statistics
• Business Math
• Calculus I Calculus II Calculus III (Calc)
• Geometry
• International Baccalaureate (IB) Maths
• Liberal Arts Math
• Logic & Reasoning
• Multivariable Calculus Multi variable Calculus
• Precalculus Pre-calculus
• Probability & Statistics
• Psychology Statistics Psych Stats
• Quantitative Reasoning Quantitative Methods Quantitative Literacy (Quant)
• Statistics (Stats)
• Statistics for Social Sciences
• Trigonometry (Trig)

STATISTICS HELP (MY BEST SUBJECT):

• I have a master's degree in Applied Statistics from a university in New Jersey, USA. As a result, I am very proficient in helping students with various types of Statistics courses including Biostatistics Business Statistics Elementary Statistics Probability & Statistics Psychology Statistics.
• I have extensive knowledge and skill with helping students get through various statistical concepts including all of the following in alphabetical order:
• ANOVA Bar Graph, Boxplot, Dot Plot, Histogram, Pie Chart Bias Binomial, Exponential, Poisson, Gamma, Uniform Distribution Central Limit Theorem Chi-Square Test Coefficient of Determination (R^2) Conditional & Relative Probability Confidence Interval Correlation Coefficient (r) Critical Region Critical Value Descriptive & Inferential Statistics Effect Size Expected Value Experiment vs Observation Goodness of Fit Test Hypothesis Testing Interpolation & Extrapolation Interquartile Range (IQR) Kurtosis Left, Negative, Right, Positive Skewed Distribution Logistic Regression Mean, Median, Mode, Midrange Multiple Regression Nominal, Ordinal, Interval, Ratio I Population Parameter Normal, Symmetric & Bell Shaped Distribution Null & Alternate Hypothesis One & Two Sample T-Test One & Two Sample Z-Test Ordinary Least Squares Outliers P-Value Pooled Variance (Equal Variances) Proportion R^2 Range Regression Regression Line Reject & Fail to Reject Ho Relative & Cumulative Frequency Distributions Relativity & Reliability Right, Left, One, Two Tailed Tailed Hypothesis Test Sample Statistics Sampling Methods (Convenience, Stratified, Simple, Cluster, Systematic) Significance Level (1%, 5%, 10%) Skewness Standard Deviation& Variance T-Score Test Statistic Time Series Type I & Type II Errors Unbiased Estimators Z-Score

ALGEBRA HELP:

• I am well-versed in helping students do well in Algebra 1 & 2 College Algebra Intermediate Algebra Pre-Algebra and I am very knowledgeable and proficient in the following algebra topics in alphabetical order:
• Absolute Values Circle Equation Domain Exponents Graphing Horizontal & Vertical Asymptotes Inequalities, Equations & Functions Inverse Functions Linear, Exponential, Logarithmic, Quadratic Equations Logarithms Maximum & Minimum Values of a Graph Number Lines One-to-One Functions Parallel & Perpendicular Lines Plotting Points & Ordered Pairs Point-Slope Form Polynomial Division Polynomials Radicals Range Rational & Irrational Expressions Rational Functions Real Roots Real Zeros Relations & Functions Slope Slope-Intercept Form Square Roots Standard Form of a Line System of Equations System of Inequalities Variables X and Y Intercepts

CALCULUS HELP:

• I am well-versed in helping students do well in Calculus I, II & III, Calculus 1, 2 & 3, Business Calculus, Multivariable Calculus, Vector Calculus and I am very knowledgeable and proficient in the following calculus topics in alphabetical order:
• Absolute & Local Maximum and Minimum Antiderivative Area & Volume Chain Rule Concavity Continuity Convergence Test Critical Points Curvature Curve of Rotation Curve Sketching Derivatives Divergence Test First & Second Derivative Test Fourier Series Implicit Differentiation Increasing / Decreasing Functions Infinite Series Integrals Integration by Parts Jacobian Matrix Limits L’Hopital’s Rule Maclaurin Series Mean Value Theorem Partial Derivative Product & Quotient Rule Reiman Sum Related Rates Simpson’s Rule Solid of Revolution Substitution Rule Taylor Series

Paid Help from Hiraedu: If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
ATTRIBUTES THAT SET ME APART FROM OTHER TUTORS:

• I firmly believe that I have many attributes and skills that set me apart from other tutors. Below is a list of qualities that makes me an ideal fit to help you master your coursework:

I CAN AID STUDENTS TAKING PROCTORED ASSESSMENTS:

• Proficient in CollegeBoard AP Calculus AB, AP Calculus BC & AP Statistics exams.
• Skilled with International Baccalaureate Math Exams: IB Maths HL & IB Maths SL
• Can intentionally answer a few problems incorrectly at the student's request.
• Can text solutions to the student while they are taking a proctored exam.
• Upon request, can purposely obtain grades below an A (ex: B+, B, C+, C-).
• I can stretch out the time to a plausible length for timed exams and assignments before submitting them.
• Have reliable software that can change my IP address to match the closest major city near the student.
• I have exceptional multiple-choice exam-taking skills. I have mastered the various techniques to make calculated guesses for the correct option in standardized exams such as the SAT & GRE.

I CAN VERIFY MY ACADEMIC KNOWLEDGE & SKILLS:

• I have no problem with requests to solve sample problems upfront to prove my knowledge & proficiency of the course concepts.
• I can provide glowing references & strong examples of work done for past clients to verify my academic skills.
• I can also provide, upon request, complete detailed calculations with explanations for solutions to the problems worked on.
• I am quite skilled and adept in using multiple modernized educational platforms and software, including but not limited to: Brightspace MyStatLab D2L WebAssign Canvas MyMathLab Blackboard ALEKS
• Can format term papers and discussion posts in APA MLA Harvard Chicago Vancouver OSCOLA IEEE format.

I HAVE PAID ACCESS TO OVER 15 STUDY-HELP WEBSITES AND MATHEMATICAL SOFTWARE:

• I have multiple paid subscriptions to a wide range of academic tutoring resources, including Chegg, Quizlet, CourseHero, Brainly, Grammarly, Study. com, Bartleby, Slader, Transtutors, Slideshare, StudocU, Turnitin, Academia, SymboLab, WolframAlpha, and Scribd to help guide to solve exam & homework questions that I may not immediately know.
• However, I am smart enough not to blatantly plagiarize solutions online but instead write them in my own unique words, formatting, & mathematical terminology.
• I have access to a very sophisticated graphing calculator and various mathematical software that provides step-by-step solutions to complex mathematical problems within seconds, allowing me to provide exact solutions to the student in a timely manner.
• I have impeccable handwriting and a high-quality mobile scanner app that allows me to scan written solutions in very legible high-definition JPG, PNG, or PDF formats.

MY AVAILABILITY & RELIABILITY:

• Depending on my availability, I can accommodate immediate tutoring requests, 1-24 hour, and 1-30-day deadlines.
• I can schedule live real-time online sessions and meet deadlines in an impressively timely fashion.
• I can provide quick notifications and updates of progress made in the student's class via email text phone calls.
• I can also be available to tutor students for Fall 2021 Spring 2022 Summer 2022 semesters.

MY EDUCATIONAL SOFTWARE OF EXPERTISE:

• I am very knowledgeable and well-versed in a wide range of educational software to tutor students in including but not limited to: Acellus ALEKS APEX Learning Aplia Blackboard Brightspace Canvas Cengage CengageNow Connect ConnectMath Connexus CPM D2L Discord Edmentum Eviews Examity Excel Hawkes Learning Honorlock Khan Academy Knewton LimeSpring Lumen Maple MasteringChemistry MasteringPhysics MathXL (XL) MATLAB McGraw-Hill Microsoft Word Minitab Moodle MyAccountingLab MyEconLab MyITLab MyLab My Lab MyMathLab My Math Lab MyOpenMath MyPsychLab MySocLab MyStatLab My Stat Lab NCSS Open Source Software Pearson PERT PlatoWeb PowerPoint Prezi R Respondus Lockdown Browser with Webcam Sapling SPSS Stata StraighterLine Straighter Line WebAssign Web Assign Webex (Cisco) WebWork Wiley WileyPlus Wonderlic Zoom

SCHOOLS FROM WHICH I'VE HELPED STUDENTS IN :
As of 2021, I have tutored and helped students enrolled at the following U.S. universities community colleges county & city colleges schools for-profit institutions listed below in alphabetical order:

• A - C: American Public University System (APUS) Arizona State Ashford Brigham Young Brown Broward California State (Fullerton) Capella Chamberlain (Illinois) Colorado Technical Columbia Columbia Southern Cornell
• D - K: Dallas College Dartmouth DeVry Excelsior College Florida International Florida State Full Sail Georgia State Grand Canyon Harvard Houston Community College Ivy Tech Community College Kaplan Kennesaw State Kent State
• L - T: Liberty Lone Star College System Kaplan Miami Dade Michigan State CUNY State University of New York (SUNY) Northern Virginia Ohio State University of Phoenix (UOP) Penn State Princeton Purdue (Davenport) San Diego State San Francisco State San Jose State Southern New Hampshire Southern Nevada Stanford St. Petersburg Strayer Texas Tech
• UNIVERSITY OF: Alabama Arizona California (UC) Central Florida Chicago Cincinnati Florida Houston Illinois (Urbana-Champaign) Iowa Maryland Minnesota Michigan North Texas Pennsylvania Southern Florida Texas Toronto
• U - Z: UCLA Extension Utah State Utah Valley Valencia Walden U Wake Technical Western Governors Wilmington Yale

Paid Help from Hiraedu: If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
I OFFER FLEXIBLE PAYMENT PLANS:

• I offer several unique payment plans, including a weekly plan, a discounted monthly plan, a discounted half-now / half-later plan, and highly discounted up-front rates.
• I can accept the following payment methods for my services: PayPal Debit Cards Square Cash Credit Cards Cash App Venmo.
• Only people located in North America have access to Venmo Cash App Zelle.
• This is an excellent way to determine if the person you're dealing with is from the United States.
• Within reason, I offer a partial or full money-Back guarantee if the student is very unsatisfied with my academic services.

TUTORING AVAILABLE FOR OTHER SUBJECTS:

• For other subjects, you can reach out to me, and I can connect you with one of my tutoring partners who can provide general academic assistance for the following subjects:
• Art & Design: Art History Design Film Studies
• Business: Accounting (Acc) Biz Courses Business Administration (Biz Admn) Business Calculus Business Law Business Statistics Corporate Finance Economics (Econ) Finance (Fin) Financial Accounting Intermediate Accounting Intermediate Microeconomics (Micro) Macroeconomics (Macro) Management (Mgmt) Managerial Accounting Marketing MBA
• Computer Science: C C++ Computer Programming (Comp) Java Python R (Introduction & Intermediate Level Only)
• Humanities: Communications (Comm) English Literature Essay & Term Paper Writing, Editing, Proofreading Essays History Papers Philosophy (Phil) Religious Studies Theology (Theo)
• Mathematics: A.P. Calculus AB & BC Psychology Statistics AP Statistics Bio statistics Calculus I (1) Calculus II (2) Calculus III (3) College Algebra Differential Equations Discrete Math Finite Math Functions General Math Geometry Liberal Arts Math Linear Algebra Multi-variable Calculus Partial Differential Equations Precalculus Probability Quantitative Reasoning Real Analysis Statistics Trigonometry (Trig) Vector Calculus
• Science & Medicine: Anatomy & Physiology (A & P) Biochemistry Biology (Bio) Biostatistics Earth Science Environmental Science General Chemistry (Chem) Healthcare Medicine Nursing Nutrition Organic Chemistry Physics (Phys)
• Social Sciences: Anthropology Economics (Econ) Geology Law & Justice Liberal Arts Liberal Studies Political Science Psychology Sociology

THE OBLIGATORY "IS THIS A SCAM?" QUESTION:
Considering the fact that you found my contact information online, it’s understandable to be skeptical regarding the legitimacy of my services. Therefore, I’m willing to do all of the following to help you feel more secure in trusting me with your academic needs:

• 1) Speak with you on the phone and answer any questions you may have so that you have the opportunity to assess and analyze my tone, articulation, accent, diction, dialect, regionalisms, pitch, vocabulary, word choice, intonations, and inflections.
• NOTE: I’m a New Jersey-born Irish/Italian-American, but I have been told that I speak in an erudite & articulate suburban American accent with a “professor style” voice somewhat resembling the voice of actor: Ben Stein.
• 2) Agree to do some homework questions of yours upfront with the work fully shown in real-time to prove my mastery of the course content.
• 3) Send you screenshots of at least five past scores I attained from completing exams & homework assignments for other students in the same type of class you need help with.
• 4) Send you full screenshots of written exam solutions I wrote up by hand for students in the past in the same course that you need help with so that you can see my neat handwriting.
• 5) Provide you with the contact information of students who have utilized my services in the past who would be more than willing to vouch for my skills.

MY REBUTTAL TO THE OBLIGATORY “IS THIS A SCAM?” QUESTION:
At the risk of sounding arrogant, I consider myself to be at least marginally more intelligent (both academically & socially) than the average person. Therefore, if I ever decided to suddenly risk prison time, risk my reputation, and risk enduring the wrath of modern-day “cancel culture” by scamming people out of their money:

• I certainly wouldn’t do it for such paltry amounts of money. (i.e., anything less than $1,000 per victim.)
• I certainly wouldn’t choose high school & college students as my “target audience” to scam, considering that most people without college degrees have abysmally low annual incomes. Why choose low-income victims when it would be much more profitable to target high-income, high-net-worth individuals earning at least six figures a year? I have knowledge in business consulting, and I promise you that a business owner would be a MUCH more lucrative mark than a low-income college student.
• I wouldn’t choose such a time & energy-draining method of scamming people. Also, communicating back and forth with potential clients is an absurdly long time sink since only less than 10% of all potential clients who reach out to me actually become paying clients of mine. This means that 90% of my time communicating with potential clients ultimately proves to be a colossal waste of my irretrievable time & energy.
• If you pay me to provide academic services and I don’t deliver, you can always dispute the payment with the payment app and easily get your money refunded. If I were in the habit of swindling money from people, then all of my payment accounts would have been investigated and be completely shut down by now. And I would have been permanently banned from opening new accounts. Therefore, the fact that all my payment apps have been fully active for years should be sufficient proof that I haven’t had people consistently disputing payments sent to me.

HOW TO CONTACT ME:
Paid Help from Hiraedu: If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641

• I take my work as a tutor very seriously, and I always aim to do my best to help my students excel in school. I have a solid and sincere passion for academic achievement, and with my help, I am positive that I can help students obtain very high grades with minimal stress and effort.
• Please feel free to contact me if you're interested in my services and would like to learn more. I'm available 24/7 via phone call, email, and text. Again, thank you for taking the time to read my Reddit tutoring ad, and I hope to hear from you soon!

My contact details:
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
Email: [info@hiraedu](mailto:info@hiraedu). com
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Hi. First time ko dito, wala lang talaga akong mapaglabasan ng sama ng loob, im F(25) callcenter agent. Isa akong ampon, inampon ako ng mag partner na lesbian, 3yrs old ako nung namatay yung isa sa mga nanay ko, sya din yung nakapangalan sa birthcert ko. Natira yung isa ko pang "nanay" na nakasama ko habang lumalaki ako, actually kilala ko rin mga magulang ko eh. Di ko parin talaga alam kung ano yung totoo bat nila naisip na ipamigay ako, basta ang kwento lang sakin e after manganak ng nanay ko sa bahay ng umapon sakin umalis nalang syang psrsng walang nangyare. So fast forward nung 5yrs old ako, may nakilala yung nanay ko na lalaki, pinapasok nya sa buhay namin, kinalaunan namolestya ako, nag try ako mag sumbong mga 9yrs old na ata ako nun, pero di ako pinaniwalaan. Ang sabi nya pa sakin "malandi ka kasi!" Para sa siyam na taong gulang na bata hindi ko alam bakit nasabi nya yun, ano bang alam ko? Sobrang sakit. Hanggang sa nag tuloy tuloy, hinayaan ko nalang para bang naging parte na sya ng buhay ko. Tapos nung graduation ko ng grade 6, pinasok nya akong katulong, all around, laba, linis, bantay sa matanda sa totoo lang di ko nga alam pano ko nasurvive yun hanggang 2nd yr hs haha. Minsan sinasama nya kong maglako ng paninda sa mga construction site at ayos lang sa kanyang bastusin ako, customer is always right daw eh. Alam ko namang mahirap ang buhay at mahirap mag palaki ng bata ng mag isa, pero putangina ang sakit kasi, ninakawan nila ko ng kabataan. Paulit ulit narin yung chismis sa brgy namin noon na pokpok ako, malandi, mabubuntis ng maaga dahil hinahayaan nya kong gaguhin ng lalaki nya!. May long time bf ako noon na ayaw nila, kasi ang sabi nya para daw akong namamangka sa dalawang ilog kung pagsasabayin ko yung bf ko at yung lalaki nya. Di ko talaga maintindihan yung logic nya tangina. Wala akong magawa noon kasi sabi ko hindi ko pa kaya.
Dumaan yung mga taon pinilit kong makatungtong ng kolehiyo, di ako nakapag tapos pero sapat na yun para mapunta ako kung nasaan man ako ngayon, lumayas ako iniwan ko sya, iniwan narin sya ng lalaki nya. Sumama ako sa bf ko at nakipag live in. Sa wakas naranasan kong sumaya, maging malaya. Makain mga gusto kong pagkain, pumunta sa mga lugar na noon pinapangarap ko lang puntahan. Maswerte ako kasi mabuting tao yung sinamahan ko, mabuti rin ang pamilya nya.
Pero parang ayaw ako tantanan ng nakaraan ko, matanda na yung nanay kong umampon sakin, senior na. Nag papadala naman ako pag kaya ko pero minsan tinitiis ko kasi nalalaman kong sinasabi nya pala sa iba na pabaya ako at ni minsan di ako nag bigay, kaya tinotoo ko na yung kwento nya. Ang sabi nya pa sakin nung huling tumawag ako e wala akong utang na loob, pinalaki nya daw ako para mabayaran ko sya sa lahat. Ang sabi ko kung tutuusin quits na kami sa lahat ng pinagdaanan ko sa kanya, sa kanila. Ngayon pati mga kamag anak nya inaaway at sinumbatan narin ako, kaya sabi ko kung kaya nya palang mag sumbong sa kanila at gumawa ng kung ano anong kwento bat di nya ring subukan manghingi ng tulong tutal ang lakas naman ng loob nilang pag salitaan ako ng kung ano ano
ABYG? Di ko alam bakit ko sya natitiis ng ganito, pakiramdam ko wala na akong awa sa kanya, puro sakit nalang. Pero tuwing naaalala ko sya umiiyak parin ako, iniiyakan ko lahat. Nasasaktan ako pag naiisip kong mag isa sya, pero hindi ko rin kaya na magkasama kami, sobrang sakit nyang kasama to the point na gusto ko nalang mamatay kesa makasama sya. Di ko na alam nararamdaman ko, ano ba to? Ano na ba ako? Tulungan nyo naman ako.

Hello! I’m a first year teacher teaching K-3 at 3 different schools. I have two girls who are coming in for singing lessons on Tuesdays during their recess and I’m an instrumentalist so I’m still trying to figure out what to do in a singing lesson (I say singing because I’ve been told by others to look at it more as a singing lesson instead of vocal because they are both in second grade and maybe not teach a lot of technique? Idk). My colleague is letting me borrow a couple of books, one has tongue twisters with specific goals (which seriously helps me too so I know what to have them do/look out for) and the other has some cute little fun/folk songs.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to teach singing lessons? We have only met up once and we talked about singing posture while standing up, how to breathe/where you should feel your breathing, and we did some tongue twisters. I also asked what they both want to get from our time working together and they told me these things: - practice singing more songs - how to be less scared performing in front of others - how to act in front of audience - learn how to read notes (just one, the other already knows) - want to also learn how to play more instruments
One of them has also asked me if I can give her some homework to do over the week until the next lesson. They both have said they want to be singers and one of them is in the talent show coming up soon where she’s singing with a friend.
Here are my questions for you guys: - What suggestions do you have? - I’ve been told I should try to use this time to teach solfège but how do I do that? In college we used scale degrees so when I got my elementary job I also had to start learning solfège. What do I do to teach it? I just sing the solfège with the signs and have them copy me or what? I feel so lost with solfège. - how do you personally teach kids how to sing? Whether it’s as a class or singing lessons? - what kind of homework would you give? The student who asked for homework is the one who already knows how to read music and play some piano - any other tips or ideas pls? Book recommendations? Anything?
Thank you❤️

im in 10th grade, its my first year taking physics and my old school didn’t teach us physics (for whatever reason) every single time i study really hard but i just cant comprehend anything im studying. its even worse on the exams and tests. By the time my exam came i just completely gave up on the subject. I wrote my name and handed it in because i know either way i would fail. I’m taking computer science next year and i heard i have to take physics which is really sad because its the one subject thats affecting how i do in school and i dont think i can keep taking physics honestly.

Chapter 4
Location: Glimmer Fate
POV: Faror Hend
No rain on the plains in Glimmer Fate. High black grasses make the area extremely hot. Faror Hend is patrolling the edge of the Vitr Sea with her cousin Spinnock Durav. The shore of the Vitr Sea is devoid of life and the breeze coming off of it stings the lungs. The liquid of the sea dissolves almost anything it comes into contact with including stones. Spinnock is sharpening his Hust blade on a stone that has been worn away by the sea. His blade is very old and therefore does not sing. It's new to him, but has been passed down for generations. A third rider in their party, Finarra Stone, was scouting the shoreline out of sight. Nothing lived this close, so it was safe to go alone. Today the Vitr is calm, but recently it has not been and storms had resulted in its claiming more land for the sea. The sea is expanding. Eventually it will come to the border of Kurald Galain if they cannot find a solution. The Tiste have no idea what the source of the Vitr is and how to stop it's expansion. Tiste scholars are also unwilling to consult with anyone outside the Tiste.
Faror Hend is extremely attracted to Spinnock Durav, but their houses are too close in relations for her to act on this attraction. Plus she is betrothed and older, although these would not be a barrier to her. Faror thinks of a line from a Gallan poem, "The ground is bare and hard / and will hold all secrets / and the sky cares not / for the games of those beneath it." She desperately wants to act on her lust, but so far has kept in control. Faror is a big Gallan fan. Spinnock seems to know how his cousin feels and teases her.
POV: Captain Finarra Stone
During her patrol of the Vitr coastline, Finarra finds a carcass. This is puzzling as she has never seen one this close to the sea. It appears to have come out of the sea itself. The corpse is huge with scales and a tail. But a lot of the body eaten away by the Vitr. The head and neck were missing and the top of the torso appears chewed. Very few Tiste had ever claimed to have seen a dragon, but this could be one. However, those legends all had them with wings and Faror did not see any evidence of wings on this beast. A breeze brought the stench to the horse and this caused it to back up a few steps making noise. At this the stump where the neck should be lifted. The creature begins shuffling towards her. With an unbelievably fast lurch it closes the distance and swipes at Faror and her horse with two arms catching the horse with both swipes. Faror finds herself tumbling through the air. She lands on her shoulder and breaks something. The beast is still again after decimating her horse. She decides to head for flatter ground to make better time back to her party. She is the daughter of Hust Henarald and possesses his sword. Her biggest threat now were the naked wolves that roamed Glimmer Fate. Faror contemplates the meaning of dark and light and the impossibility of either without the other. She also says that Mother Dark had been a mortal Tiste woman before embracing darkness. While Finarra is contemplating, something screams at her intending to freeze her with fear. Finarra mortally wounds it as it streaks by.
POV: Faror Hend
Hearing the screams of the wolves and no sound of their prey, Faror fears Finarra is the prey. She has not returned and it has been too long. Faror decides to leave Spinnock at camp and go to investigate. He tells her to be careful and he doesn't want to lose her. She responds by saying that he has many cousins. Faror can hear at least a dozen wolves and knows that it is likely that Finarra is fighting by herself without her horse. Thinking of Spinnock's face, she attempts to replace it in her mind with her betrothed, Kagamandra Tulas. A Tiste who the war had made gaunt. Tulas was of a low house and was under the command of Vatha Urusander. This alone would not have made house Durav attempt a betrothal. However, in the war he had saved the life of Silchas Ruin and by doing so had earned the favor of Mother Dark who would reward him by making him the head of a new High House. She thinks that the war stole Tulas's ability to love anything and she is not sure she can love him either, but she will try.
Eventually she finds the place of the wolf attack. There are many dead wolves. The fighting is over, but she does not see Finarra. She thinks further down the trail she will find wolves eating her corpse. Finarra comes out from behind some boulders. Faror begins to speak, but Finarra tells her to speak softly as something has walked out of the Vitr. Finarra chastises Faror for beginning to follow the path through the grasses that would have led to her death. Faror discovers that she had almost welcomed it. Finarra was tracking whatever had walked out of the Vitr when she came upon Faror. "Small footprints, puddles of Vitr pooled in them" She tells Faror that it is their duty to track it.
POV: Finarra Stone
Finarra in a lot of pain from her shoulder and wolf bites, contemplates the look she caught in Faror's eyes. One that told her she was seeking death. She thinks the cause may be Faror's betrothal to a broken man that may be incapable of love and being in close proximity to Spinnock who oozes it. "Spinnock Durav had been pursued by women and men since he had first come of age. He had learned to not give up too much of himself, since those hands reaching for him desired little more than conquest and possession." Finarra has also caught Spinnock's adoration of his cousin turning in to something else. She knows this kind of torture between them will ruin them. She contemplates how to fix the situation. Transferring one might work, but also thinks of another more sure answer.
POV: Faror Hend
Faror and Finarra are both on the back of Faror's horse. Finarra is unconscious and Faror is having a difficult time keeping her on the horse. She thinks about Finarra only being a few years older than her, but already being a battle veteran. She realizes that the wolves she found were not the ones killed by Finarra, but those of the someone that came from the sea. Faror makes it back to the camp. They treat the unconscious woman's wounds fearing infection.
POV: Spinnock Durav
They had burned away the dead flesh and infection on Finarra's leg hoping they got it all. Finarra has not woken up and is fevered. Spinnock outlines their options whether to stay until Finarra wakes up or to try to transport her as is. Faror informs him that Finarra wanted them to track the stranger from the Vitr. Faror tells Spinnock that Finarra needs a healer and soon, but they also need to track the stranger. Faror will go after the stranger and Spinnock will take Finarra to the outpost. Spinnock follows orders, but now there is a coldness between the cousins.
Following the trail she had discovered the previous night, Faror Hend found several more wolf corpses all killed with savage blows. The path she now followed, if kept straight, would lead directly to Kharkanas. Eventually she comes to a clearing and finds a fair-skinned, blonde woman clothed only in a scaled wolf hide over her shoulders. Everywhere else was sunburnt. She appears young and has no weapon, which is curious considering her roughly cut hair and several wolf corpses. Faror says she means no harm and asks if she is an Azathanai. To this the woman responds, "I know your language. But it is not mine. Azathanai. I know that word. Azat drevlid naratarh Azathanai. The people who were never born." After a few questions that the woman cannot answer, she tells Faror that she recalls nothing not even the sea she came out of or her own name. Faror tells the woman that she will escort her to Kharkanas to meet with Mother Dark and gives the woman a Tiste name until she can recall her own. The name is T'riss. Upon hearing this the woman smiles and says, "I am “born of the sea”. Faror asks if she will walk or ride with her. T'riss says that Faror's horse looks useful and she will have one too. She turns to the grasses and conjures a horse out of them. It seems that it's weight is too much for the grasses used. Looking at Faror, T'riss then conjures clothes, lance, and a sword out of the same grasses. This scares Faror because it is god-like sorcery. "‘Mother Dark.’ T’riss smiled. ‘That is a nice title.’"
Location: 3 days out from Neret Sorr
POV: Sharenas Ankhadu
Sharenas likes the heat. She tans nice unlike most of her cohort. She hates the cold and remembers her time in the campaign against the Jheleck unfondly. She is the commander of her cohort. Her sister and cousin, Infayen Menand and Tathe Lorat, are greatly renowned in the legion and being related to them saw high expectations settled onto Sharenas's shoulders. Her relatives are not currently with the legion. Hunn Raal and Osserc are in the vanguard and Ilgast Rend was not happy to be with them. He questions whether or not Urusander knows what Hunn Raal is doing. Osserc backs up Raal and so Ilgast drops the inquiry. Sharenas thinks Osserc is lying when he says his father knows of and approves this expedition. Sharenas thinks, "Hunn Raal is honourable. He knows what he is doing, and he knows, as do we all, that what he is doing is the right thing to do" She thinks Osserc is impulsive and has a thin skin, but Hunn Raal keeps him from making brash decisions. 3 cousins of Hunn Raal also accompanied them. Serap, Risp, and Sevegg all sleep with Hunn Raal, but their second cousins so it's not illegal. The last of their party is Kagamandra Tulas. He is forbidding and dangerous and hadn't spoken since their departure. They are heading towards the Warden outpost where Tulas's betrothed is stationed. Sharenas asserts that every woman could see that Tulas is dead inside and left his soul in the war. That he longs for death. She contemplates that once Urusander remakes the Tiste into a meritocracy, that arranged marriages will no longer be. Ironically because Tulas had given so much in defense of the Tiste he would be a prize as a husband. She pities Faror Hend and her future with this man. However she considers that Faror, just days after the betrothal, signed up with the wardens to get herself as far away as possible. Sharenas is very interested in witnessing the meeting between Tulas and Faror. She resolves to help Faror out of her predicament although it is only for her own amusement.
POV: Ilgast Rend
Ilgast does not like Hunn Raal or Osserc, thinking the former vain and arrogant and the latter nothing like his father except in appearance. Ilgast does not approve of all the debauchery that his fighting had bought for the Tiste. He thinks that Urusander has lost the plot himself. It wouldn't be long before the legion rebelled under his indifference. He would love it if Draconus was put in his place, but fears this would result in great bloodshed and does not want that. He also knows that if Hunn Raal is allowed to lead the legion in Urusander's absence, civil war was assured. "In a world of blood, everyone drowns". Ilgast is disappointed in Sharenas, thinking she would be wise enough not to fall into the wake of Hunn Raal. He feels he is in the middle of this brewing conflict being of a major house and also a cohort commander in Urusander's legion. Hunn Raal thinks he will help him convince the wardens to join his cause. However, he knows Calat Hustain will not join Hunn Raal. He is far too loyal to his own house. Ilgast remembers when Mother Dark was just a Tiste woman until she found the Gate. "Darkness was many things; most of all, it was selfish"

^{(note: this post is directed at O2 students, basically those who have given their first CAIES this session - and will be giving the rest the next year. I believe it is Year 9 / Year 10 in most schools})
Okay so starting off - many of you think you should go through the chapters and learn all the syllabus again, etc.
I'd say no.
Rather go ahead looking for summer schools and stuff - learn a programming language, do some courses, etc. bascially EC's to help you later on (uni applications etc)
i personally feel like if you start studying those subjects - you're just going to start to feel overworked and fed up by them when school starts - which is the worst thing you'd want.
You want to be geared up and willing to study them. Like you haven't studied them for SO LONG - so it needs to be fun doing them again
so till the result (mid-august) - go with the flow,, revise chapters here and there, just light prep when you feel like it. School will have started by then, but dont go crazy just then. Understand your new schedule/timetable. Do your homework like you did bfr the whole CAIE session,, and basically just get used to the life.
After it,, work like a crazy madman for the rest of the year lol -this is the most important part, really

unrelated note here : ive seen somany people who literally work nothing and then complain on their grades. and then theres others, who also work nothing but get perfect grades. both are equally infruriating
PLEASE dont do this. work hard.
By ''work hard'', i mean sacrifice.
Not like sacrificing sleep, or outdoor hours, etc. sacrifice your wants. Whenever you feel like you want to do something, especially if its something small that you ALWAYS do, like watch a movie/read a book while you eat instead of studying while you eat -think of this: ''this is my sacrifice. this is the thing that will give me my grade. i just need to sacrifice this leisure time, and ill get my grade''

if you're a Muslim - i'd like to add - these are the things that Allah see's. Allah watches every single one of these small acts, and they amount to something big.
''What could such a small act do?''. Allah is watching your mental struggle, the way you sacrifice your want. the mental discussion and debate you do when you think this. The ''This wont hurt'' - ''It dosent matter''- ''Just 2 more minutes''. If you suceed in defeating this, you suceed in your grade (realise that in the end, only Allah can give the grade to you - and He gives it by looking at your hardwork and struggle in moments like these)

and repeat. repeat this the whole year - till your summer break, which is when you regenerate your mental health.

hehe thats my infruriating speech over - but please come back to this and read it when you're not feeling lazy or procrastinating. please
Anyhow, on a less serious note, continuing
Do not waste your break.
create a healthy schedule - outdoors + good sleep. get READY for O3 (the next class) - like have your schedule, plan etc, made. I'd say do this a few weeks into school life so that you know exactly what's happening when. EC's as mentioned in the first para
also - have abit of fun here and there. refresh your destroyed mental health. go back to your hobbies, download all your new games, read books, hangout with friends, etc.
You want to be kind of ''fresh'' when entering O3 - while at the same time not ''lazy''
OG post on olevels : (do check it out too tbh,, very sweet community<3) O2's - what to do in the summer break? :
bestofluck everyone<3
(hope this helps anyone wondering how to spend this time! <3)

i had meet my friend lets call her ( A ) at around grade 3 and we have known each other for more than a decade, recently around three years ago, our school decided to some change in our syllables and unfortunately we were the test class, due to this, we got shuffled at grade 10. we were so devastated but when we into the different section of class, she had some classmates with her while I was alone but that was fine. for a year and half I didn't know people's name that much and didnt really talk to anyone but my old group of friends. in grade 11, a classmate introduce themselve to me and we started to a talk a little. my old friend took a notice of it but didn't say anything, a few days later, when the food break started as I was keeping my books back into my bag, my classmate asked me a question about something real quick, my friend A saw me (we have big window in classes that any one can look through) she got a bit mad( I don't know how to describe it) but she asked me who it is was. i told her it was one of my class mate then she told me that I was always talking to them and she started saying that I'm her new friend and that how I will leave her. i reassured her that I won't because she was my friend for a long time. she hesitated at first but later accepted it, slowly I also stopped talking to that class mate now once again I was alone in my somewhat new class. before the summer vacation we had a school trip in which my teacher adviced us all to stay together or she would to complain to our head teacher and I saw how strict our head teacher is so I decided to stick to my class when my friend A saw me with my classmates that I sticked to for safety she got angry at me, later at the School trip,when everything seemed eased out, I went to her call to her to join with trip. she refused and told me she was not interested and then at the end of trip my other old friends told me how A was mad at me. i tried to explain to them but they wouldn't listen. the whole summer vacation she didn't talk to me and all of a Blue, she cooled down and we started talking again it wasn't as same as before but hey at we were back together. i was a little bit surprised how she lost her cool but I didn't mind. in the end of grade 11, another group of classmate invited me in their group because they saw how alone I was in the class and we went together good pretty fast. at least I had someone to sit with and talk in class. my friend A again saw me with another batch of classmate but I think she didn't say anything but that's what I thought. As usual in the food break I went to meet with her and again she complained how I started to leave her and all that nonsense once again but this time I told I couldn't do anything because they sit beside me and plus can I really tell them to change their seats because someone that they don't know is uncomfortable that someone sits with me? obviously I can't. with all the final exams got done. grade 12 started and once everyone got shuffled with the subject that they chose. unfortunately now me and friend A are not in the same class but we can see more of each other now instead of seeing each other in food break,, we could see each other every other class. remember the new class group that I was in they also got shuffled into different section of class so every here and there I visit them but my friend A got more angry when ever I talked to them and she would bring the same thing that I always talked to them. now listen I get you get jealous when your friend is excessively talking with someone else but this is not it this is how are you chat that happens here and there. and do you want to know the worst part she also have friends that she talks to but she wants me to have no problem with them but see I have no problem with them but if you are getting mad at me talking to someone else but you are doing the same do you really have right for something like that? i told her what was the issue with other new class mate that got shuffled that I used to talk to, she told she doesn't like them , I was like why? she told me they changed me. i asked her how? she took a time to answer that and she brought one of my old classmate to answer that. she told me I became a 'bit' straight forward...... wow really? not only that now she is trying to put a restrictions on me by saying that I can only talk to them once a week for maximum of 5 minutes (no joking, serious ) and she was indirectly saying that I have to tell her where I'm going in school to make sure I'm not going to them and I will not leave. this behavior is irritating for me and I'm actually losing trust and interest in her because of this obsessed and overprotective behavior. I get you don't want to lose me all but this is too much. so fellas is this valid?
LSS : I've been friends with A since grade 3, but our classes got shuffled in grade 10. A became jealous and upset when I started talking to new classmates in grade 11 and continued to accuse me of abandoning her. Her controlling behavior escalated in grade 12, imposing restrictions on how often I could talk to others. This overprotectiveness is causing me to lose trust and interest in our friendship. Is my irritation valid?

Vana Galvenniere, "Rightful" heir to the Throne of the Marble Steppes
Pre-Sisters Coronation: Vana Galvenniere, daughter of Avasa Galvenniere, was born nine years prior to her sister Vala. This period of her life was what one would expect for one born into her family; being taught history, that in the past first borns take the Throne, and that she'll have to learn how to take over once her mother passes. During this time, Vana's mother seemed to care for her as any other mother would. However, her mother's attitude towards Vana would shift dramatically when Vala was born. Vana would now suddenly be treated with cruelty by her mother. Vana's grades when being taught were never enough for mother. Vana's combat abilities were never good enough for mother. And when Vana "underperformed", mother would punish her in extreme ways. Beatings, withholding food, and making her sleep in the castles stables were what Vana's mother would deem appropriate for her daughters "failings". To others, Vana did extremely well in every subject she was being taught, but mother seemed to think otherwise. Or worse, simply enjoyed causing her daughter pain.
During this period, Vana would rarely see her sister, and the few times she did only grew her jealousy. Vala was given all the love and praise Vana wanted, and occasionally their mother would have them duel. Vala always won. After these sparring sessions and any "disappointing" test results, Vana was to spend the night in the stables. It was dark, cold and there was nowhere to sleep. She would only be allowed to take the clothes she had already been wearing at the time. These made the worst days in Vana's life. Some nights, servants and guards, who either had issues with her mother or simply wanted to hurt someone, would pay Vana visits. The men and women who would come to hurt Vana as some form of retaliation were bad enough, but the ones who simply wanted something to torture were far worse than Vana could have ever imagined.
There was only ever one period of time when Vana would be treated well while staying in the stables. One night, a boy about her age was sent to fetch a tool, but came across Vana, curled up and crying. He took the tool he needed, but returned shortly after with a blanket and some food. He would spend time each night with her, simply talking or letting her vent her sadness and anger. After two weeks, he stopped showing up. Unknown to Vana, her mother has transferred the boy and his family to another part of the city when she found out what the young man had been doing. Vana never found out that it was her mother's doing, and had thought that she herself was what pushed the boy away. This was the happiest she had been in years, and she couldn't help but have grown feelings for him, so once he had "left her" a bitter sense of betrayal lingered.
Post-Sisters Coronation: Years later, Vana and Vala's mother was finally dead, leaving a will that would be read before the most powerful families in the empire. Vana, naturally, could not be more relieved. She would finally become Empress and prove her mother wrong after all the horrors she had been put through. As the event went on, Vana only grew happier, she felt as though her excitement knew no bounds. As the will was about to be read before the guests, Vana stood at the ready. She was going to walk up to that podium and retrieve the title she so desperate craved. The title she had quite literally suffered for. But their was something unique in that will, something the Empire hadn't seen in generations. In it, Vana's mother specified that Vala would be her successor. Vana dropped the glass she had been sipping from, as tears began to form in her eyes. Even after all this, her mother still won. Vala stepped up, somewhat confused but apparently excited all the same. Vana retreated into the castle halls to leave the ceremony altogether.
As the ceremony began to slow down, Vana returned, donning an outfit more suitable for combat and her favorite sword. Before the empire itself, Vana challenged her sister for the rights to the Throne. Vana knew she would lose to her sister. She always did. There were a couple of ways Vana hoped the duel would end: either she manages to defeat her sister and become Empress, or she would perish by her sisters hand. She believed either way would work well enough, even if the odds of winning were astronomical. In front of the entire empire, Vana fought Vala and was down within minutes, losing not only the match in the most humiliating amount of time possible, but also a small piece of her veil (frill). She could remember the silence that overtook the room, where even though there were over one hundred guests, the only noise she could hear was the blood dripping to the floor from her new injury. Vana remembers clearly looking up from her kneeling position to her sister, the one whom mother pampered with everything she could ever want. Without saying a word or retrieving her lost flesh, Vana stood and left her sister behind. Before she left, accessed the family treasury, taking as much as she could before leaving for good.
She purchased a large plot of land far away from the city, on a plateau high enough she would still be able to see her old home in the distance, towering into the clouds, a massive spire that would always serve as a reminder of what she deserves. Despite being so far away, however, she can't outrun her past. Most nights, she can hardly close her eyes without being back in the stables, the hungry eyes of those who committed such unspeakable acts upon her when she was younger closing in around her. It's a rare luxury when she doesn't wake up frightened or crying. Despite her living so far away, she still travels to the city occasionally for large parties and events to keep up her image and to gather possible allies that may be willing to help her in the future. That being said, the Vana the public knows isn't the real Vana. She puts on an act, a friendly facade to interact with those she doesn't trust or know well. And those she does trust and know well are few and far between. At the end of the day, however, she really only has one goal to work towards. And she will wait as long as she has to to make sure it's perfect. Eventually, she will be Empress, or die trying.

I (23F) have a boyfriend (24M) for almost 1 and a half years. He is my first relationship (a bit late since I never explicitly wanted to be in a relationship before because I thought I could work more on myself) while I'm his second. He had a messy relationship before and used to vent to me, I acknowledged him as my other brother (typical in Korean culture) and genuinely saw him that way, so I tried to be neutral and gave really basic advice because I didn't want to be any part of this and more because I was hearing things from his side and I didn't know the girl and she could be right too.
Fast forward to a few months, they keep getting together and breaking up and finally, they do it for real and he has a crush on another girl. He went out with her once, like lunch or something and she told him she has a situationship with someone else but they remained friends.
Later that year we had a group trip among our friends and we grew close and kinda caught feelings. He seemed passionate about me and expressed that he loved me already (too soon if I'm honest), I really enjoyed having him as my best friend and didn't mind dating him and in fact I reciprocated his feelings and we started dating.
With time he started being weird like when we are at class (we attend the same uni) and we are talking and someone calls me, and I look to reply to them and answer their question and return back to our conversation, he gets mad at me and refuses to talk to me like I did something bad. It was a big red flag and I tried to explain how that was really awful and when I tried to mildly get back at him like when he's not listening to me, I'd jokingly say don't talk to me you always do the same when I don't listen and he'd never even entertain me and would get mad. And me explaining how we shouldn't just be fighting over stupid things is just a waste of time, he'd never try to even understand.
Eventually, he gets it and stops doing it. With time I felt really unloved in the relationship as he rarely complimented me or said that he loved me and I had to initiate it, in fact, he stopped replying to them with a love you too or you're cute or something in general. In fact, my man here previously told me how he feels uncomfortable having female friends, so I never had any fear or even thought of him talking to other girls. Having friends who are girls is fine, but hiding that is weird. Plus whenever we joked about exes or people who liked us, he always used to say that he doesn't even talk with that girl.
So here are those instances:
When I'm on my phone beside him he jokingly presses on buttons and also views different chats especially if it's with a guy and jokes about sending something stupid. Now I never even thought of doing that to someone but he once left me with his phone and I was gonna do something like that and while finding a chat I clicked on one accidentally. It was the same girl he had a crush on before, and he is still talking to her, sadly he has been sending the same jokes and messages to her (nothing romantic explicitly) but everything is like any joke he told me, he told her and also was that he met her. My man always told me everything about his day but hid this which was like why do you tell me everything except this, meaning you want to hide it? I never even asked him about his day in detail like that. I tried to be rational and tried not to react as he never handled me saying anything I didn't like, nicely and I didn't want to fight. I wanted to be sure and this time I saw another girl WHOM I NEVER EVEN KNEW ABOUT. The girl was sick so he even went to the house to give her food and my man doesn't even check twice when I am sick. And he beautifully kept that part out of his narration of his days. I peacefully confronted him about it the first time I saw the texts accidentally. He denied it all and I tried to not have a bigger fight.
Later one day I was called to his place to finish the work that he had due and couldn't do himself, I came to help while he showered and on his laptop, the girl's text kept coming in, they talked about what kind of partners they wanted, they went out for walks many times and all this time he told me that he was sleeping or was out alone, the LIES. I was so mad but I finished the work and we went to print his assignment and later I ended up confronting him. He denied and gaslit me in believing he didn't even do any of that. Plus both the girls and he had profile pictures he drew for himself and them, mind you I don't have one.
I went home and the next I confronted him again and he finally said that she is just a friend and since he lives alone she's the only one who doesn't drink or smoke like him hence he goes on walks with her. He was paranoid from his previous relationship that I would get mad and that's why he didn't tell me. I was like when did I say that and the hiding makes what he's doing wrong like he knows it but still is hiding it. My man also doesn't even consider them friends like bro what are they then?
ANYWAYS, he apologizes and kinda makes me feel bad by saying he won't have any friends at all like I caught you lying???? He says he won't do it anymore and he just hung out with them. I forgive him.
We had small stupid fights about him not talking enough when I saw him texting so nicely with them and all.
Fast forward to almost when we were done with a year, I caught him drawing his previously mentioned crush on class and then got mad I got mad at him for drawing him and also yelled at me like I never even raised my voice. He with his mouth told that he only draws people he loves. And felt valid being mad like you see her story and take a screenshot and start drawing her what??? We fought, and he threatened to break up which he does always like I'm the problem.
Then he apologized and we went back to normal and then we maybe had a few fights in between, it was mostly us being frustrated with work but then last week I saw him always clutch his phone when I'm grabbing something next to it, comically exactly like those unfaithful bf tiktoks lmao. This bothered me a lot like what is it hide, to have no fights, I reassured him that you don't have to hide having friends.
Now some days later we went on a date and he was like distracted once in a while to check his phone or try to check messages but when I looked he was pulling down the notification bar (where he has the message app muted you can't see anything). I was trying to brush it off, but then we decided to head home and I was like let's go to your place, we can watch a movie or something, he said his rent owner doesn't allow anyone because last day his friends caused a ruckus. Valid but his friends have been coming to his place for the past 4 days and when I asked if I wanted to go, even in the daytime, he had something to say. Maybe that is the truth but he adds we can sneak you in, I felt a bit desperate to agree to that so I said no and refused to be dropped by him at my home. He realized I was mad and left me, something I never even do to him but okay, I broke down and started having a mental breakdown and having no one, I decided to call him back to vent, which is something I never do because venting to him or anyone never makes me feel validated.
I know how you can make friends feel heard if not good when they have to let something out and at the moment no one around me does that at the moment which is fine like no one should be giving me therapy or something. Anyway, I was crying and he said he'd listen and not get mad I explained to him that being secretive makes me feel weird and what is to hide leading to a conversation where I asked him to show the texts. He denies which is weird so after a lot of pressing like if you don't show it agree that you're hiding something, he shows it. My man was singing her songs and she was too while he told me he would sleep, at 3 am and is calling her voice cute like it's so hard to get called cute as his girlfriend like wtf. I was like bitch wtf it's over but my low self-esteem ass wanted to fix stuff. I go home and beg him to talk and after lots of begging we talk, he first invalidates me then I break down and admit that he is wrong. This somehow leads to him having a full-blown mental breakdown of crying and throwing up and I feel bad.
Things got better then and we were normal, we'd move away after a while so really wanted to hang out at his place but he never said it himself anymore which he used to do it all the time before. This makes me sad, anyways he keeps making me feel bad saying always blame him, LIKE YOU DID THOSE THINGS TF? I was tired of that, and he started a fight saying I always blame him when I just said that I have been wanting to come to his place and you don't tell me to come by yourself, it always you can if you want to, you will have to sneak in. Liken it always felt like it was all from my side so although I tried to understand him, I told him again that I wanna hang out at his place like the desperate idiot I am, and after his same reply, I said it feels like you don't want it and he said I'm again blaming him. This was still funny banter until he started yelling again. Like just refused to listen like I did something.
So here is where I stand now. I am someone who tries to maintain a healthy relationship and can leave when things go bad but since my
My self-esteem is so low I end up staying with him. He isn't a good boyfriend I know it, but maybe I'm too stupid and this is what I deserve. He is way cool and prettier and seems to be beyond my league sometimes and the girls he talks to are so much prettier but I just can't. I keep forgiving him and it's so stupid. I don't know what to do or how to start to leave. What should be the exit plan if needed? And the reason why I wrote this, many times I just feel like, I am the asshole.

I'm so addicted to the "Love is Blind" international seasons. I feel US and Sweden are very similar regarding the level of intimacy in the first face to face meeting and the honeymoon. LIB Brazil though...... everyone is so passionate. Even the level of energy in the bromances in the man's living quarters!! I love it though!!! They are so uninhibited!! I was reluctant to watch Japan because the drama level would be so different. But they are so cute!!!! And grateful!!! I've just watched the first three episodes of Japan. It's like night and day from Brazil. Especially the women's reveal clothes!! They are so sweet and kind though!! I love all of the dynamics from the different seasons. Anybody else appreciating these differences??

I received admission on Computer Science with Minor in Business as an international student. I have some questions:

1. Is it really hard to manage the minor at year 1? Some seniors told me that it's a bad choice because the first year is really tough and minor can be applied at any time during main major course so no need to hury
   
2. Some seniors also told me that they chose one Business subject to fill in their BDEs, but they found it really hard to they had to switch from grading to S/U. Do I still have to fill in BDEs and am I eligible to switch to S/U on my minor.
   
3. Is there a chance that I can apply second major in the second year in Business or Entrepreneur. I search on NTU website and they only offer to College of Science or Engineering students
   

Yesterday afternoon, I was driving east from Hellsinky and stopped in some town called Lovisa, where I asked if there were any good places nearby to boulder outdoors for a beginner. The locals said I should try a boulder called Biden of Dreams, which seemed like a weird name for a Finnish rock, but maybe he’s really popular here. The locals warned me the problem might be a bit airbagged. Having only climbed indoors before my first thought was, "wow, the chalk marks from previous climbers make it really obvious where the best holds are". My fingers felt fine, and I didn’t need much finger strength because the rock was nice, and the holds were very easy to grab. I had some trouble seeing the footholds, but I was generally surprised by how little I needed them because I was able to easily flash the problem by campusing. I heard that spotting might be useful for other boulders, but I don’t know what that has to do with climbing, maybe I’ll bring a maxi pad next time to deal with the spotting.
All that to say, outdoor climbing feels like a totally different sport. The theory remains the same but the implementation consists of an entirely different set of challenges. I found that this v17 felt like ~v4 in the indoor setting. I understand now why gym grades are different: These outdoor boulders are very welcoming to beginners.
I had few safety concerns. I had no crash pads (which are, of course, aid), the landing zone was level and clear, and generally safe downclimbs meant everything had a minimal element of danger. It makes me really appreciate gym setting and the thrill of higher risk indoors.
This post is meant as a show of appreciation for both types of boulder sports. Outdoors for the ease and forgivingness and as a fallback plan for when the gym is closed, and indoors for the creativity, longevity, and fewer mosquitoes.

Glowing Red Fist - Shock Release
Widely documented in history as Glowing Red Fist, this is a cursed technique that has been very often seen in members of the Tsuyoi Clan, one of the many sorcerer clans found in the past.
Currently known as Shock Release, this is an inherited technique passed down in the Tsuyoi family. This technique manifests the imaginary concept of kinetic energy as a measurable substance that can be interacted with through the manipulation of the user’s cursed energy.
While any member of the Tsuyoi Clan has an average chance of hereditarily gaining access to this technique, it is similar to limitless in that it can only be truly used to it's full extent if the user also has access to a special type of cursed energy, like how the Six Eyes are required for Limitless to be mastered, although not nearly as rare to occur.
Tsuyoi Clan
Although not nearly as ancient, powerful or famous as the three great sorcerer clans of the jujutsu world, this is still a very influential family that has raised exceptionally talented individuals, mostly known for their physical strength and enhancement techniques that have been passed down through generations.
While not equally as influential in the politics of the jujutsu world, the Tsuyoi Clan is still regarded as a very important organization within society due to their past as frontline soldiers in the war against cursed spirits, their powerful members have been of great importance in protection of humankind and that is what granted it's members certain authority within the association.
Special Cursed Energy
Almost half of the members of the Tsuyoi Clan are born with a distinct cursed energy, one that is hard and very dense, almost solid flame, this is what has always protected them from harm and assisted in fighting against cursed spirits while using only their bodies and martial arts, something that made them famous in the jujutsu world. The main properties of their special cursed energy are how it’s toughness can act as a shield that can stop an attack before it reaches them, which creates an absolute defense if enough energy is released while paired with powerful reinforcement, and how it can be used as a weapon, since even a small output of cursed energy can harm most enemies if what is being released is a heavy and hard blast of stone-like energy.
Although it is very commonly seen in members of the family, there is a very different degree of hardness that each member demonstrates, some of the members of the clan have a dense but just a little less softer energy than the average sorcerer, while others have what could be compared to a concrete wall surrounding them, this is usually not an issue as it doesn’t make that much a difference between most members, however, Shock Release is a cursed technique which’s efficiency is directly associated with the toughness of the cursed energy of it’s user.
Shock Release is, at it’s most basic form, a technique that releases accumulated kinetic energy, it doesn’t however accumulate it by itself, this can only be done mainly by cursed energy, but also by the body of it’s user, although at a much lesser degree. But cursed energy only accumulates excessive kinetic energy efficiently if it is a special type, one that is tough like found in members of the Tsuyoi clan, but for a user of this technique to use it to it’s full extent, having very dense energy is a minimum requirement as it tells not only how easily it takes in shock but also how much of it can be stored inside, therefore a certain degree of luck is involved when it comes to people born with the famous Glowing Red Fist.
The secondary property that occurs for users of Shock Release and allows them to use the technique efficiently is that this dense cursed energy has a function of acting like a sponge for kinetic energy, accumulating any excessive display of it and storing it within itself, this happens whenever it’s user performs any physical action such as moving, breathing, fighting, there is always a small percentage of the shock generated by these motions that leaks and gets caught in the user’s aura. Although higher reserves of cursed energy can lead to a higher storage capacity for shock, this is mostly influenced by the toughness of the energy, which also tells how high a percentage of what is leaked can be absorbed.
Description
Glowing Red Fist is a cursed technique that allows the user to bring the idea of kinetic energy into reality, as a bright red, flame-like substance, that can be interacted with if cursed energy or organic matter is used as a medium for it to flow through. It can be used for a great variety of situations and applied in many different ways, limited only by the user's imagination of what they can do.
Shock can be employed in many ways while utilizing this technique, enhancement to physical attacks by injecting kinetic energy into a target while hitting them with your fists is a very common application of the technique, although it can also be used for something such as movement bestowal, applying the force in a way that causes an object to move as intended without the need for direct interaction with it,
As with any cursed technique, Shock Release's efficiency and strength depend on the user, a low-grade sorcerer might require rituals to inject an object with enough kinetic energy for it's manipulation to be worth it while one of a higher grade, being able to freely use the technique during a fight, could be an unstoppable force, one that destroys anything in their path and fights in a manner completely unpredictable due to their unexpected movements, which are caused by the application of the technique on themselves for unnatural maneuvering that doesn't necessarily follow the laws of physics.
The user is also limited by the toughness of their cursed energy and it's reserves and output. Too soft an energy leads to almost no kinetic energy being taken in and not enough stored for large-scale applications and a low output might make it difficult to employ the shock that has been saved up.
Usage and Applications
The techniques is used, firstly, by saving kinetic energy that is usually absorbed by the user’s cursed energy, then, it is injected into a target that could be anything from an inorganic object such as a rock to the organic matter of the user’s body, doing so charges the target and allows the user to activate the shock that has been stored within it, an activation means the actual Lapse of the technique which involves causing the shock to interact with the target, resulting in any chosen result as long as it could be done through actual force, such as causing an object to be thrown upwards. As long as there is enough shock inside an object, it can move as far or as fast as the user wants depending on their cursed energy output.
Shock can only be manipulated through cursed energy or organic matter, injecting inorganic matter with it will only be temporary, as it will leak and return to being just an imaginary concept very fast, it only remains manifested if it remains within a solid enough aura or inside organic matter such as a person or the user himself. Therefore, injecting a target with shock requires the source to make contact with it, if stored within cursed energy, imbuing an object with it after releasing it is enough, but if stored within a person, physical touch is required.
Usually, whenever an object is injected with manifested kinetic energy, it glows red, this is the reason the technique was once called Glowing Red Fist as it’s users always had their fists glowing red due to how much force they applied to them before hitting an enemy, cursed energy also becomes red when carrying shock which causes all users of the technique to always have red cursed energy as their energy is always taking in the kinetic energy from the surrounding area. The more that is stored within a target, the brighter it glows.
The most common application of this cursed technique is to enhance physical attacks, the Tsuyoi Clan is known for enhancement-related cursed techniques and this is one of them, injecting the user’s body with shock and releasing it while attacking greatly increases the harm they can cause, with a lot of shock and powerful reinforcement, they can destroy any target with a single punch, once again reminding all why it once had “fist” in it’s name. This isn’t a rule, as any movement performed by the user can be enhanced, running, moving their arms to block an attack or their entire bodies to move away from one, an action can be improved by applying kinetic energy to it, it is even possible for capable users of the technique to apply shock to something that is about to hit them so that they can stop it in it’s tracks, such as pushing back on an enemy’s fist so that the punch isn’t as strong or can’t even make physical contact if there is enough force being used.
Another very common application of Shock Release is movement bestowal, which is the injection of force within an object and activating it to move it in any way deemed possible by how much force is injected, through swift manipulation of cursed energy, one could do this with such accuracy that it would be essentially the same as telekinesis, but it is usually used to maneuver mid-air by applying it on yourself or to control the trajectory and speed of projectiles. A high-grade sorcerer who uses Shock Release can even move other sorcerers either to cause them harm by throwing them somewhere or pulling them in for a punch or to assist allies in moving away from attacks or reaching an intended location faster than they could move themselves. With enough difference in power it is likely possible to completely control the movements of someone and bind them to the user’s will as long as the technique is active and there is enough force for such.
Cursed Technique Reversal
By activating the technique with positive energy, one can cause the opposite effect of the technique and drain kinetic energy instead of releasing it, this is a major improvement to the technique in general as it not only makes it a lot easier to fuel the user’s storage of shock but also because it makes one capable of completely negating the damage from most attacks and grants them a multitude of newer applications to use in a fight.
It is said that a user of Shock Manipulation, which is the name of the technique for someone who can use it’s reversed form, becomes so powerful after learning this that they are essentially more than twice as powerful as they were before, this can be considered an exaggeration as one would have to train in order to properly use this newly acquired application but it is true that one who has mastered both the use of positive and negative energy with this technique becomes a powerful individual who should not be underestimated.
Usage and Applications
Mastery over both positive and negative versions of Shock Manipulation grants the user complete control over kinetic energy, any application they were already capable of using is improved due to how fast the user can accumulate force to charge them and they can not only modify them for a different result but use new techniques altogether, such as not only changing the trajectory of a projectile but also stopping it mid-air as to confuse or avoid the defense of a target before allowing it to go forward again without having lost any of it’s speed, even the user’s ability to maneuver becomes even greater as they can deny the effects of gravity on themselves by absorbing the kinetic energy that is generated by it’s interaction with their mass and redirecting it towards movement bestowal, making it possible to fly.
Someone capable of draining the kinetic energy generated by the attacks of an enemy becomes a beast when it comes to physical combat, they are hardly harmed and become even stronger hitters after taking in the force they stole from their aggressors and using it against them.
Strengths and Weaknesses
The most famous advantage of this technique is how it’s user can freely maneuver during a fight in ways that are normally impossible and are therefore unpredictable, when combined with their enhanced attacks, this makes anyone who uses Glowing Red Fist a powerful closed-quarters fighter no matter how strong they are, but those of the Tsuyoi family usually have very strong bodies so it is only an improvement on an already great strength.
The biggest strength of the technique is it’s diversity, although lower grade users don’t have as much freedom as those of higher grade when it comes to using the technique, they still can inject and manipulate the shock imbued within an object to great heights, and there are thousands of ways of using the ability to move things however you want to your advantage. Higher-grade sorcerers are simply absurd because through subtraction, they become capable of using the technique with so much freedom that they simply control the battlefield without chants or hand signs, just the manipulation of their cursed energy as a medium for the accumulated force to flow through is enough to move, harm and confuse any enemy to great extents.
The most famous weakness of the technique is that it is an accumulative type, something that can also be a strength as it is a sorcerer can become a lot stronger than their peers if they are fully charged, but makes it so they pretty much don’t have a technique once they run out of kinetic energy, but this can be bypassed once the user learns cursed technique reversal. Another known weakness is how kinetic energy can easily be seen as not only it is carried by cursed energy but it also glows red. The red glow from force-filled cursed energy can’t be hidden, but a very precise manipulation of the force can hide it within objects by burying it deep, using organic matter as storage can also be used to bypass the weakness of glowing cursed energy.
TLDR: Negative energy releases kinetic energy and positive energy drains it, think about the first Noumu or Fat-Gun from My Hero Academia, kinetic energy can be used to move things.
I plan on posting an OC that uses this technique eventually and I will provide more information on how it can be used, I will also write about some of it's extension and maximum techniques, I also have a few ideas on a domain expansion that has this technique as it's guaranteed hit. This is actually something that I first thought about as a Hatsu for a HxH oc but I think it works better as a cursed technique due to how nen works.

Okay. First of all, my English is rusty AF, so please be patient with me.
So I (31NB) was in a relationship with my partner Matthew (34M) for the past five years, we've known each other for over seven years. At the very beginning of the relationship it was all cute and fluffy, because he was my first everything. He basically showed me how it should be in a "healthy" relationship. I have severe trauma ( I was graped when I was 12) and I am very autistic - so for my own sanity, I was avoiding every human interaction that wasn't purely friendly. I also suffer from few disorders (especially emotional blockage) and was raised by military officer who never showed any emotions, whatsoever ( this is important). From the start I told him that he wouldn't be happy with me, because I don't know how to show love and affection, I am not in any position to be like his "dream girls" and whatnot. He always told me that he doesn't care about those things, because he "loved me" for who I am. (note: I am a heavy person, who trained heavy sports for nearly 15 years - I am literally disgusting to look at, while he's like a feckin' godsend - fit, handsome like the Devil and all that - he's also very intelligent).
Everything was relatively normal, I was learning how to show affection, I even got past my trauma, so I don't think he could say that he wasn't taken care of, intimacy-wise. He was a typical Golden Retriever or Teddybear if you will. He was cuddly, loved kisses and all that romantic stuff. He was also very into vanilla stuff when it comes to intimacy. I have very good adaptation skills, so learning how to please him, wasn't that big of a deal for me, especially when I knew he was very important to me ( you can say I loved him in my own way or smthn).
Shait went down few months ago, when he got some sort of "change of heart" and started reading those books that are all over booktok ( tiktok shait and all). At fist I was totally cool with it, because it's normal. It's just books. But then he bought himself a Harley, started to wear more black clothes ( it was my thing to wear only black and dark colors) and his whole demeanor started to change. Like from fluffy, cuddly man, he became some sort of douche-bag who was all into "you're mine" " you belong to me" and whatnot. Initially I thought that he was just taking a piss, because he told me that he found those characters hilariously unrealistic, but then he literally did full 180. I even put up with the total 180 when it comes to the bedroom action, because - like I said - I'm fat and I wouldn't do certain stuff, because I hate myself, but I wanted to make him happy.
I was putting with his behavior, because, like I said, he was very important to me. But then his cousin - Max (36M) told me, that Matthew hooked up with some random chick at the club they went to, this past weekend.
When it comes to infidelity, this is a total deal-breaker for me, so I automatically blocked him and his family on my phone and socials. I went literally full NC, because I didn't and still don't see any reason to stay in touch with any of them. He made his choice.
The problem here is the fact that when he came to my apartment, he got some audacity to tell me that I cannot break up with him, because he loves me and he will marry me. I was just standing there, looking at him like the clown that he is and said nothing. One thing about me: When I'm truly enraged, like to the point I have violent urges to hurt someone, I will just stare at someone before exploding (thanks to my father and his "training"). Matthew, apparently forgot about that fact, I have anger issues, just like my dear father. So when he told me - for the god knows how many times - that I'm his and I CANNOT break up with him, he grabbed my arm and tried pulling me to him. That's when I basically lost my shit and just sold him a right hook straight into his jaw. Usually I'm trying to be composed, because violence is never the answer (we all know it's the solution).
How do I deal with his bullshit, because at this point (week have passed) I am tired and all I want to do is just run after him with an axe, just to scare him off. Matthew that approached me few years ago is long gone, and I am not willing to put up with this bullshit anymore, because I don't have mental capacity for this.
Any advice on how to say "fuck off" in a productive way, or should I do something different, because this is just tiring.
** Before someone will come for me - the communication was there all the time, because I am all about talking things out, I need people to be straight forward to my face, because I don't get social ques. And yes - I have already thought about everything that I DID WRONG to him, that pushed him to change that way - but again...I didn't do anything, aside that I maybe wasn't too vocal about my feeling ( I have hard times expressing them, and he was well aware of that).

So netong Friday lang, me (F) and my friends were supposed to go out na museum date ganun. There were originally 6 of us na pupunta, but last minute nag cancel yung apat so isa nalang natira. And itong isang to, he was an ex-crush of mine back when we were in SHS. Aware naman siyang naging ex-crush ko siya HAHAHAHAAH kasi I confessed to him around 2020 pero dahil friends naman kami even before ako nagkacrush sakanya, it became awkward man for a short while pero di siya naka-bother kumbaga sa friendship namin.
Anyway, balik sa gala, so kaming dalawa lang yung natuloy, and first after four years to na kumbaga, kaming dalawa lang uli gumala together, pero instead na museum pinuntahan namin, nag BGC nalang kami kasi nag aya siya na photoshoot nalang daw HAHAHAHA
Edi ayun, while we were there, it was really fun, and he's the type of guy kasi na ang hilig makipag deep talks, and since we walked around a lot, nakapag catch up kami with a lot of things. Then around 9:30 pm, nag aya siya na sponty inom daw. Mag bar daw kami ganun, eh napaka kaladkarin ko kasing tao kaya edi go HAAHAHAHAH
So ayun, while we were there at dahil marami siyang pera, naghati kami sa iisang bote ng Cuervo para masulit HAHAHAHAHA and we're celebrating lang din talaga since parehas mga thesis defended yarn. Pero all throughout the evening, medyo iba na rin makatingin ang bwiset, na di ko malaman kung ano bang nais. like em having some intrusive thoughts na that time na mag make ng move pero kasi HAHAHAHAH BAKA AFTER NAMAN NG GABING YUN, DI NANAMAN KAMI MAG USAP ULI. pero I have some self control naman kaya chill lang.
Then mga bandang 1 am ganon, since siya yung mas extroverted saming dalawa, he started befriending yung mga katabi namin. Then one of the girls dun sa kabilang table said "we actually want to ask for your consent earlier kung pwede namin kayo i-vid kasi you look so sweet together. Gaano katagal na kayo?". At that point medyo nagkatinginan kami and nagpapatagalan kami na ewan sumagot HAHAHAHAAH so sinabi ko nalang na "ay di po, we're good friends lang". Tapos tong other girls pa sa table na yun nagdagdag pa ng "sayang, ang cute niyo pa naman" pero siyempre, forda segway nalang ako ng ibang topic kasi ang tagal tagal niyang sagutin. Pero ayun, may mga kasama rin kasing mga guys yung nasa kabilang table na yun, and one of them were trying to make a move na ganun. Eh medyo hilo na ko that time but still conscious naman HAAHAHAH he held my hand that time na talagang pang-jowa holding hands, na medyo kinainisan ko, sabi ko sakanya "kaya walang lumalapit eh, bakod na bakod ka masyado", sinagot niya nalang ako na "iba na rin kasi hilo mo, I'm just looking out for you lang din."
So fast forward, lumabas kami ng bar kasi nahilo na ng tuluyan ang ate niyo HAHAHAHA tapos habang yakap yakap niya ko dun kasi nagpapa-sober up nalang talaga ako dun, after an hour siya naman tong nahilo hilo't nagsuka HAHAHAHAHAH NAKAKAINIS. Eh parehas pa kaming may mga klase sa morning that time kaya with all my power (and with the help ng mga iba dun sa bar, thank God), nag-grab nalang kami pabalik ng dorm ko kasi di niya na rin keri umuwi.
To add to that, habang nasa biyahe kami, ibang level of lamig yung car tapos parehas pa naman kaming hilo hilo na talaga sa likod, tapos tanungan pa ni kuyang driver, "lasing na lasing po asawa niyo ma'am ha", at that point, nananakit na nga ulo ko kaya sabi ko kay kuya "ay di po kuya, kaibigan lang po. grabe kayo, di pa nga po nakakagraduate, pinag asawa niyo na hahaha" tapos dumaldal pa si kuya na sa ganto raw kasi sila nagsimula ng asawa niya pero di ko na rin napakinggan ng matino kasi di na maprocess ng utak ko yung hilo HHHAHAHAHAH
So pagkarating ng dorm, akbay akbay ko siya kasi mas hilo na talaga siya sakin at that point, and nung nakarating dorm, edi I laid him down sa sofa, eh nagkatinginan na ang landi pa rin ng bwisit para i-push back yung hair ko like KSKSKSSKSKSKSK tapos sabi pa ng bwisit "cuddle tayooo", sabi ko nalang sakanya "ayoko, amoy suka ka, sira". Mga after nun, I just went ahead na palitan damit niya (pang-itaas lang aba), then gave him some meds para mawala hilo niya. And nung I'm all setup for bed na, nanghihingi siya hugs kasi sama raw pakiramdam niya, edi sige, mga 30 mins kaming magkayakapan dun na naabutan pa kami ng roommate ko HAHAHAHAH pero after that, may another sofa pa kasi samin, so dun nalang ako nahiga para kahit papano may kasama siya.
Morning came, tapos medyo sober na kami and buti nalang parehas kami nakareceive notif sa mga class gc namin na malelate daw mga prof namin HHHAAHAHA pero ayun, he said lang na uwi na raw siya, and medyo nagsosorry siya kasi alam niyang ibang level of wasted version of him ang nakita ko HAHAHAHAH edi ayun, he booked for a grab para uwi raw muna siya sakanila then saka siya pupunta school. Nung pagkababa namin ng condo, he hugged me bago umalis and said, "next time uli?" with a smirk, and I just nodded.
So ayun, it was a really nice evening kasi akala ko di na kami makakauwi HAHAHAHAHA DEFINITELY A CORE MEMORY, pero ewan ko ba kung mixed signals or delulu lang talaga ako sa pinaggagagawa netong friend ko, eh medj marupok pa naman ng slight ang ate niyo HAHAHAHAH anyway, just wanted to share this for fun lang din

I have a situation that bothers me and i gotta clear it SOOn. People , even the ones lower in the power scale tend to disregard me despites me having shown to be able to be social , these uni class in particularly traumatized me and tore my hard won recovery from therapy to pieces so you guys know that i need HELP.
I left the group that had traumatized me and lived in uni in post trauma state terrified of people , thanks to analysis i am recovering again and realized that my classmates hold extremely outdated views of me that are harmful. They saw me when i had "low self esteem" and no people skills. I lifted a life of being excluded and i was doing great and was confident BUT my classmates kept pushing the whole "mentally ill" poor thing on me so bad i relapse bad and dumped anyone that held that view. I ended up suffering immense reputational damage and couldnt get into another group after what they did.
These people think i am childish and actively try to pity me. Funily enough i had a part time job while in post trauma and ouside people told me all the time that i was very social and i talked about the uni situation briefly and they all go surprised "How come you've got no friends there? no fucking way!" "I thought you had had a blast with your uni classmates too!"
So its these people that are purposely fucking me up. Few examples:

• gym bros calling me in affectionate nicknames that only my very few close ppl use. Why? cause they wanted my homework and think im lonely and dying for them . Well i played a few cards, first thing first i started leaving without them the only class we share and they pity waited me, i also didnt tell them about an exam date and they bombed it and the day of the exam they went "oh do you have a cheat sheet? do you need one?" trynna act nice like five mins before. I told them no need i would figure anyways. When i asked for help they would disregard me and come up with excuses as to why they couldnt help me knowing damn well i depended on them back them, once they didnt reply and i went to the other unknown classmates an hour before the exam and went "OI GUYS ANYONE THAT KNOWS HOW TO DO QUESTION X,Y,Z? " in a loud voice and someone did help me and it massively saved my grade , later on those gym asses showed up and went "you didnt reply we waited for u at x place, is it all alright?" and i went "no need someone already helped me" notice that was ten minutes before the exam and they were slow as fuck replying and i knew they would leave me hanging, also i gave em excuses as to why i didnt have my homework and when they kept asking in a whatsapp group for homewrok days later i went "For fucks sake, you coulda done your homework in the time you have been asking for it" . They have completely stopped talking to me and sitting nearby :) stopped calling me by these fake ass names and i like it, except for this other shit guy the one i targeted with the homework thing and only talked to me when convenient and we stays around idk why but pisses the shit out of me.

I dont greet anyone at all, i am allowed to frown and be disrespectful, people think im such a poor cause that they let me be mean as fuck and even a professor gives me grace. I cheated in an exam and got forgotten just like that, i tricked another professor into reapplying an exam to me and even used my dads ghost bussiness to hand in evidence of job so i could have access to that privilege and it worked.
A professor went once " you look very sad". I was actually furious that day. My anger can be read as sadness often.
Most of this class think i am dumb , in fact they go "You didnt read the honesty clause part of the exam did you ?" i innocently asked "what clause". That was during the time they had weakened me but i was still social with people. Of course i had read it, what amazes me is how stupid they all think i am while all that has been happening is that i grew too fucking lazy and dependent, OF COURSE I READ THE CLAUSES AND DECIDED TO CHEAT. I have adhd and used that to cover up for those nasty nasty traits of mine and became dehumanized. Now i need myself back and idk how to clean up
The pity greetings have stopped a long time ago. Again since a year ago i dont greet any of my classmates.
About the other people , i am forced to worked with the folks that none respects cause turns out i ruffled the feathers of everyone in my first recovery so hard people exclude me out of some shit envy . Got rid of the classmates that knew me since ighschool and keep seeing me as disadvantage and as if i couldnt make authentic friends. Trust me , not true. My friendships do fail but not for the whole "poor thing" narrative. I am quite charismatic and in good mental health i am downright fantastic.
The highschool uni ex friends stopped talking to me overly friendly and switched to formal. I am going more formal. The plan is , go lone wolf and recover my mental health entirely while excelling at my internships and pursuing a social life somewhere this shit stain isnt present. I know its not me but this fucked up view of me that i wont ever be able to shake off their heads. At this rate i am planning to go independent in my studies so i dont need to ask anything from none of these asses and move onto my adult life healed.
Here's the public view on me:

• Poor dumb thingy
• Weird in a "good" way
• Naive , unrestrained
• Yknow mabel pines, THATS who they used to compare me in the past. IT PISSES THE SHIT OUT OF ME NOW
• Reject, poor thing no one likes
• Mentally ill
• Vulnerable

I cant go back to people cause i am in an addiction that gets triggered by being close to these people and they will most likely harm my mental health. they have seen all my vulnerabilities so i do feel hopeles. Given i will have to move onto a career that needs political skills at this rate i was thinking of using this situation to practice cause tbh long gone the days i wanted to be friends with these assholes.
I am also making a priority understanding things in class and taking my meds consistently cause whats the need of being a slave of these assholes. Even professors try to give me "life lessons" about psychology concepts that i am a thousand times more well acquitanted with than themselves. I also started being more formal when needing to deal with people. My hair is well done always due to expensive treatments and i dress in a fashionable way on the days i dont go "full hobo" due to exams. Maybe that why people outside uni react positively upon meeting me. On contrast there is this other bitch that has disheveled hair , dresses in a non fashhionable way and yet they all respect her and she helps in class and is the gf of the class president. Same bitch that goes around with the attitude of "oh no i know nothing" clearly shes just pretending . Fucking bitch i really do hate her jesus.
Externally i have good things , i am a polyglot , i can put effort into my appeareanced despites not bein gvonventionally attractive and i can be charismatic when in good health SO WHY AM I LOSING IN THIS DYNAMIC? i am very self aware and intellectually curious , far from dumb, i am ambitious, far from the lazy image , i like fashion , talented at working my mindset and are one of the rare people that massively benefits from therapy and can improve greatly with it , external stuff doesnt ruffle me if i am healthy, also like electric guitar and so much more.
Objectively speaking i HAVE HUGE POTENTIAL I HAVE VALUABLE EXTERNAL SHIT yet dont want to base myself off of it because those things are fleeting. WHY AM I LOSING HERE?
I am not well versed in power dynamics , reading 48 laws and the prince and becoming attuned. Need a way to strategically break free of this thanks in advance

For context I'm in College now, the first year. Up until the 7th grade my life was great. I had friends who I loved, good mental and physical health. But it all went downhill after that. For my 8-10 th class/year i was in a hostel away from all my friends and family- while i did make friends there none of the friendships continued after 10th. While I was away for what i now consider some of the most important years that I lost on, all my old friends and i drifted apart(literally we all moved to different places and I had lost basically all connections to them) Then when I changed neighbourhoods any remaining friends/acquaintances were lost as well. I struggled making friends in the 11th and 12th (mostly due to covid and online classes). Now in college I have a handful of good friends, don't get me wrong I know a lot of people, and a lot of people know OF me but I feel like I don't really have any friends because they're all just basically acquaintances.
I had joined the gym in order to improve on myself and it helped quite a bit with my mental health too, but now even the gym is not helping. At one point I even turned to pornography just so i could take my mind of all this but even that stopped helping.
Tonight I went on an hour long walk just to clear my head. I ended up realising all of this and don't know what to do.
Now I'm 19, barely any friends, never had a gf. I just spend my days going to the gym, studying and being sorry for myself. I really have no clue what I'm even doing anymore just living day to day hoping it gets better but it never does.
Thank you for reading, i appreciate any and all feedback/advice and i could Really use it, thanks

Hello fellow Redditors,
I've been dating this man for 7 months, and I already knew that I loved him a few months in, but wasn't quite ready to say it. Neither of us has said it so far. Another complicating factor is that I don't necessarily feel romantic love (I'm somewhere on the aro spectrum), and really wanted to find a time to first talk about my conception of love and what it means to me before telling him. Mortifying, this morning we were exchanging cute GIFs, and I accidentally sent a hug that came with an 'I love and miss you.' He glossed over it completely -- he said that he wanted to hug me like that (we're currently long distance), and has periodically sent virtual kisses for the past few hours.
I don't really know how to handle things from here on out. I'm tempted to backtrack a bit because I'm embarrassed, and pull a 'haha I didn't see that, oops', but that also feels ingenuine to me. I just really didn't want to let it slip out the first time I said it - at all, not to mention in GIF form and over text - and I'm anxious how he took it. This is also my first serious relationship, and I'm scared that he doesn't feel the same.
Help!