Hey sorry if I’m posting in the wrong place my phone won’t let me choose a space to post it just hoping anyone with advice sees this so to get started I’m 16 make with excrutiating ptsd and dissotiation to the point where it’s at multiple points me into phycosis that thank God I was able to get out of without medical attention I’ve almost overdosed probably 15 times I went to a 3 programs escaped one and was on the run for a month before somehow being able to come home after calling my mom on a stolen phone I’ve been around actual killers for years people who don’t give a single shit about a human life and would end someone just for their convenience and pride I went to juvy before for a month wasn’t bad tbh but due to my perspective then it was horrible I got out thank God and was able to for the most part change my life around slowly quitting the huge list of drugs I was using I’m really big into woodworking now about a year and a half later I can make beautiful things when I put my mind to it which just makes me more mad when I realize how I’m not doing much with it right now and I mean the past couple weeks because I recently pretty much became an alcoholic I grew up in an amazing family my brother is an alcoholic but my sisters all 5 of them are doing great one in the navy and btw I’m Christian to the death Jesus is the only reason I’ve been able to come out of the absolute hell whole of my phycotic drug fueled mind I take adderall 25mg which I’m addicted to severely somehow even though it’s a low dose and btw I’ve taken up to 200mg in a day in my any drug goes days but somehow my broken mind can get basically the same high every day not in a bad way I mean it’s pleasant and helps me to stay sober from everything but porn which holy shit is a whole nother story my addiction with it I need help holy shit I jus zoned tf out but yeah I’m at this point mentally self reliant but I’m rapidly degrading from the alcoholism and porn which I try not to watch but fall into watching it about once every 5 days and I’m so serious I’m pretty sure as in Ive been and am completely convinced is caused by the porn because I have to fight the urge to kill myself every time I give into it reminding myself my family loves me every time but that fight I put up fades each time I give in and I have to drink to battle the suicidal thoughts I have for days after I can’t take it I need help I believe I can do it I’m just stuck right now and need help I know I can do it to the depth of my soul I’m the biggest fighter I’ve seen in my life mentally speaking I’m partially crazy but you’ll never ketch me saying something that sounds crazy but yeah Idek what I’m asking for advice or a second hand summary just please understand if you can imma pose more context if you want message me if u want it I got pages on pages I need help bro I know it doesn’t sound much like urgency if it does thanks for listening but I need help I’ve been screaming silently for years please just tell me something I need to know help me to come back

28, F. Concerned with heart beat pauses. Diagnosed w/ ADHD, anxiety, depression. Prescribed adderall IR, 10mg, twice a day. I’m 4’11” and about 110 lbs.I consume nicotine via vaping- have been doing so since about 2015. I also drink alcohol often (used to be a daily drinker from 2020-2023 ~1-2 bottles of wine per day), but now only drinking maybe 1-2 seltzers per day (5% alcohol), but will have times regularly where I drink only half of one seltzer, or drink no alcohol for a few days at a time with no sort of withdrawal symptoms at all.I drink one cup of coffee in the morning (just regular coffee, not a latte/espresso/etc) usually 5-6 days of the week. No other caffeine.I went through a bad period of health anxiety, sepcifically around my heart about a year ago after being diagnosed with COVID. I was having daily panic attacks at that time but haven’t had any bad panic attacks in months now. My blood pressure was high-ish at the time last year. This is also around the time where I started wearing an Apple Watch and tracking my heart rate, which was always high. I saw my doctor about these issues, temporarily was on a beta blocker but only for a few months then stopped as my blood pressure was getting too low. Blood pressure is usually normal or high-normal. I stopped wearing my Apple Watch as doctor said it was only increasing my anxiety and obsession with my heart rate so I don’t track my heart rate anymore but typically it was in the 90s-110 range at rest, 120-140ish range after a meal or when doing any sort of physical activity (even such as just walking around the house, cleaning, etc).I had bloodwork done last April, along with an EKG last June. Both came back perfectly normal. Except for having a high heart rate. I have been experiencing heart beat pauses now like once or a few times per day for like a few months now at least- sometimes I don’t notice them happening at all so maybe not every day but it’s hard to say for sure. It only happens for like a few seconds at a time then goes back to normal. I only notice the pauses when I’m checking my pulse by placing my fingers on my neck. So maybe it’s happening more (or less) than I even realize, because it does not cause me any physical symptoms such as dizziness, shortness of breath, etc. It does not seem to pause then best fast to “make up for” the missed beat, I don’t think? Just seems like it literally just pauses for a second then goes back to normal for a few beats, then will pause again once, etc. Never for extended periods of time. Doctor acts like this is not a concern unless it starts causing me physical symptoms. She has listened to my heart beat w stethoscope a few times since the EKG and said my heart sounds fine. Just wanted to get some more opinions on this and see if I should be asking for additional testing or just continue to try not to worry about it unless it is causing me other symptoms. I will bring up to my doctor when I see her again in July. I typically only go in once every 3 months for a med check since I don’t have insurance.

I'm a 38F, 5'2", 188lbs, Caucasian, with chronic pain and elevated WBC for 1.5 years, and I do NOT smoke or drink alcohol. Current DX of PCOS, ADHD, OCD, and depression. I take Adderall XR 25mg and Sertraline 125mg daily.
Symptoms are: FATIGUE. Does not matter if I sleep 8 hours. I will be tired. I still drink coffee on top of Adderall, which I've only been on for the last year. It has helped, but I still marvel at how exhausted I feel. I work for 6 hours daily, come home and NAP for an hour. Sleep 6-8 hours night on average, maybe 8-9 on weekends. My job is not strenuous.
Sweating. I do wake up dripping a lot of the time, but it also happens during the day, even when I'm sitting down.
Feeling feverish... I say "feeling" because it's not always detected on thermometer. I get chills, body aches, weird feeling in the back of my throat and feel like I'm coming down with something, but then will be fine the following morning the majority of the time.
PAIN. I have constant, daily pain in my hands. I can barely grip a pen or my phone without having to stop and rub my hands to get sensation back. The pain and numbness is on the back of my hands and fingers (all but pinky) on both sides. It wakes me up at night and I have to switch positions because my hands randomly go numb. The pain is also in my neck. This causes constant tension headaches, knots in my traps and if I'm having a particularly bad "flare", I can feel it radiate down my upper arm and into my hands. I also get pain in the top of my feet, but it's not as frequent and mild in comparison.
THE LABS:
CBC DIFF WBC-- Elevated 6x within the last year, at every lab that was taken (12 to 16 THOU/uL) Everything else within normal ranges, except for Neutrophils (high, 12.82THOU/uL last test) and Monocytes (1.12THOU/uL last test).
So, my question is, what should I ask my doctor to look for as next steps? I was screened in 2022 for SED rate, rheumatoid factor and C reactive protein and the tests were normal, but my symptoms were not as severe then. Should I ask to check again? What should my concerns be with these symptoms and lab?

When I was a kid, I lived in a abusive household. Long story short, when I was about 5 years old, the police arrived to breakup a dispute between my half brother and my dad. I remember how scared I was before they arrived, and immediately relieved when the officers put a stop to it. I remember them being very kind to me. They were my first interaction with a stranger that was gentle and sweet. Due to the trauma surrounding that moment, it really stuck with me my entire life. Since then, I have felt that it has been my sole singular purpose to give others that feeling of safety, just like that police officer did for me.
Well, the trauma to my life didn't end that day, and I grew up with some really unhealthy habits, and developed a panic disorder in my 20s. I have been treated with 8 different anti-depressants throughout my life, and just recently found out I have ADHD, which I am now treating with Adderall. Things feel better now, but I spent the entirety of my 20s self medicating with drugs and alcohol. Cocaine, MDMA, Ecstasy, Acid, Shrooms, Marijuana, sometimes a combination of most of it simultaneously...basically everything outside of Heroin, Meth, Crack, and DMT. These certainly contributed to my panic disorder.
Given how fear was in control of most of my life, and my history with drug use and multiple mental health conditions, I've come to terms that this career is off the table for someone like me.
It has been hard to shake, though, as no other career path I've researched has brought me anywhere near the same level of interest as Law Enforcement. I don't want to be a desk clerk either, or working behind the scenes, I wanted to be out on patrol, and a face for people to see. I want to comfort someone fearful, and let them know it would be okay. I wanted to be in the position where I can say that without lying to them. Where they can find relief that having me around makes them feel safe.
Though my panic, anxiety, and depression all feel under control after my ADHD treatment, first responder professions still seem unlikely for me as I do not want to find out my panic disorder is back in the middle of a life and death situation.
Mental history aside, it seems being a police officer these days makes people fearful. The opposite of what I found appealing of the profession to begin with.
Everything is leaning toward "don't do it"
What sort of career is there left for someone like me?

Why do I have to take something every day?
TLDR: The past two years, since graduating high school, I have found myself unable to resist taking something each day.
Long wall of text, but this is a summarization of my life/experience and I’d appreciate it if anyone has advice/thoughts/their own experiences.
I would really appreciate it if even just one of you took the time to read this and share your thoughts.
Is there something wrong with me based off what you’ve read? Some solution that pops out at you? Please, just help me identify a diagnosis or something. I’m getting sick of this cycle.
I never tried anything until the summer after graduating high school. I had always been a caffeine fiend, drinking 300-400mg just about every day. Now I was occasionally using weed, alcohol, and kratom.
As I went off to a college far from home with only a handful of people I knew, at 18 years old, I eventually turned to alcohol and weed every couple of nights until I discovered adderall.
My first time taking a 30mg XR I was crying tears of happiness, sending texts to everyone I knew saying how I much I loved and appreciated them, etc. I hadn’t felt this happy and secure ever since beginning college.
This went up a level when I got onto the dark net, I began popping addy pressies (meth) and went down a months long dark route that ended in me breaking down, flushing it all, and having my mother fly out to talk to me.
I told her I was abusing adderall (didn’t mention meth pills or anything else) and that life was so bleak, that my only interactions with others were with flings and one night stands…
She helped me develop an approach to finish the year strongly, I was only half way done with the school year at this point.
I was ready to reapproach with a sober intention. I turned to psychedelics, using 4 AcO DMT or lsd every 5-7 days. I was alone. No friends and nothing better to do than trip, receive beautiful epiphanies and keep myself alive until something better came along.
I used adderall when I could get it. 30mg XR at $2.50 a pop from basically my one and only friend, this was script grade and he was empathetic, I claimed I was treating my own ADHD…
Thankfully I met a girl who was accepting of my faults and helped me regulate my use… I tried FXE, Xanax, a few times. I ended the year with just my about every 2-3 week psychedelic use…
I broke up with her in order to keep messing around and receiving short gratification from flings as I went home for summer. We still see each other occasionally, as friends (mostly). We genuinely care about each other.
Freshman year complete. Returned home for summer. Had a job with my best friend and loved it. Still abused kratom, weed, and alcohol (I’ve never really been an alcoholic, I just mean that I would drink a couple beers in order to cope, I consider this abuse.)
Now I’m off to begin my sophomore year. This time I have 3 random roommates I’ve never met.
Move in week im abusing kratom and drinking a lot with my family. I’m very anxious. Literally vomiting from kratom overdose in bathroom while we’re eating at a restaurant.
The first week of school I trip LSD with one of them, we become great friends. I get into obscure drugs. I have a 1,4 BDO scare just weeks into the school year, end up being fine.
The entire year I used weed about every night. 1,4 BDO in increasing frequency until I’m using it every night. I’m using adderall and vyvanse whenever I can get it. Kratom whenever I have it.
LSD, 3CP, and 4AcO DMT microdoses when needed.
Ketamine, 2FDCK, and canket at scary frequencies.
The school year ends. As I’m writing this, I am on summer break, about to enter my Junior year. I’m 20 years old and have done dozens of substances, many unlisted.
At the moment I most often abuse 1,4 BDO, taking it practically every night just to take the edge off even though it doesn’t affect me too much anymore, nicotine pouches (only been using these for a couple of weeks), and I take lsd/dxm microdoses as needed
I do it strategically, with the goal of minimizing harm to my body and keeping myself healthy and alive. I could’ve gone off the rails so many times. I could’ve killed myself so many times but that is not my goal. My goal is to be content.
In my mind, I have to use something every day or else I’m not living/performing at the level I desire.
At times I convince myself I was born with a chemical imbalance, but then I see this was never an issue until college. At times I look back and see how much I was bullied in middle/high school.
Deep rooted insecurities and sense of worthlessness? Maybe just an extended 2 year bender? Every waking moment of these past 2 years I have been completely self aware of what I’m doing.
I question it often. I journal often. I meditate and search for answers all the time. I genuinely can’t find the source/what is wrong with me that leads me to do this.
Just recently, I’ve gotten to the point of taking from my old prescriptions (mom is pharmacist, doesn’t want me to take opioids unless necessary) like from my hydrocodone prescription a few years ago. I wanted to experience it. I just love experiencing a new feeling/drug alongside the obvious contentness it brings me.
This past week I have taken 10mg of hydrocodone and 100mg of tramadol from some very old prescriptions my grandparents have. Took them on separate days, I came out here on vacation with a slight intent of rehabbing myself but I find myself taking LSD microdoses often and abusing nicotine pouches.
The lsd tolerance in my body is high at the moment, probably for the next few days, and I’m out of pouches. So today I took 30mg dxm. Just to have that aknowledgment that I’ve taken a mood improvement substance.

It was a short time and I really fell for this girl.
She was close (30 mins away) and had a falling out with a roommate after snapping at the roommate's child (lied about it) and so she had to move back home (almost 3 hours). said we could make it work.
brought up she was being distant one day and snapped at me and we didn't talk for an entire day. She broke it off the next day saying she wasn't happy anymore and hasn't been for a long time... out of nowhere.. No communication or anything during the relationship. Total blindside. it destroyed me.
Find out some time later she's addicted to Adderall and Alcohol and that's kind of what's killed me the most... I should have seen it. She had open sores in her scalp saying they came out of nowhere. where, if you look online abusing Adderall can dry the heck out of your scalp and irritate it can do that with all your skin in general. I had to get on to her about washing her hair thinking she just didn't wash it sometimes. she would drink sleep aid nightly to stop herself from going on 3 days no sleep with all the Adderall and vodka running through her system. Would also get mad at the slightest inconvenience of anything (hence the breakup over me asking for reassurance)
I don't know if I'm sadder that the relationship is over. or the fact that I let myself get into a relationship built on lies.
like on one hand it feels like it was a favor but on the other I can't help but feel so lost. and it was a bad break up no communication since I've reached out once after finding out from the ex-friend/roommate.
I think about it all day every day and it just eats away at me. Almost a Month later.

After starting adderall, I have had improvements in so many areas, some that are separate from ADHD. I have stopped two antidepressants and my depression is gone. My PTSD symptoms are so much better. My emotional regulation exists. I am sleeping better. I am not perpetually exhausted. Therapy techniques work. My gastrointestinal issues are improved because I can actually deal with the prep work for food. I don't have any cravings for sweets or alcohol. My auditory processing has improved. I am going to the gym more and the exercise makes me feel better for once. My POTS is improved and I don't black out anymore, though I do still deal with some symptoms. Generally speaking, my dysautonomia symptoms have improved. My CFS/ME symptoms have improved. Getting off of several medications also helped because while I needed them, they made other issues worse. I also don't have new cavities from dry mouth.
I'm half mad that this is all improved so much from getting off of medications that were giving me side effects and actually treating the correct mental issue. I also want to cry with joy.
For those who caution me that depression and mh issues might pop back up after I have been on meds for a while, I know. I am stopping therapy and meds not because I assume I am magically cured of all woes. I am stopping therapy because I have five years of therapy and already know coping skills. Plus my therapist is a trauma therapist and has helped me to the limits of her abilities. It's just so weird to not be in therapy or on meds for depression and I'm doing well. I'm monitoring all of these conditions and issues for future problems, but even if temporary, this reprieve is so nice.

I haven’t had a regular PCP since my early 20’s.
I’m 5’6”, 147 lbs, white (mostly French Canadian), sedentary lifestyle due to remote work and hatred of exercise, smoker (1 pack p/day) intending on quitting, weed daily, no alcohol for past 2 years. Only psych issues in family history.
No medical diagnoses but psych diagnoses are depression, anxiety, and ADHD for which I take Effexor (150mg daily), clonodine (.1 mg as needed), and adderall (60mg daily) respectively. I also have been taking calcium, vitamin d, and a multivitamin for the past couple months.
Over the past 6 months or so my energy has completely depleted. I get up, walk 10 ft to my desk, work, and then lay down. I force myself to go do things with my boyfriend but it’s exhausting.
My memory is trash - can’t think of words, forget important dates and appointments, lose train of thought mid-sentence unless it’s text. It’s as if my brain is out of storage and can’t process new information normally.
My hands and feet get insanely cold all the time and my feet turn purple/dark. My pinky and ring fingers regularly go completely numb now mostly on the left side (my dominant side if that’s relevant). This morning I stepped out of bed and when I put my weight on my right leg I collapsed. But it was the weirdest feeling ever - like there was no floor. And my leg wasn’t tingly like as if it were asleep. Tried to get up and same thing happened. Eventually regained feeling but leg has felt super weak since.
I’m terrified of doctors but I’m thinking I should go get seen. Am I reading into this too much? Is this probably nothing to be worried about? Do I just have shitty lifestyle habits and this is the result? Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

I recently turned 56. I've been experiencing this "brain fog" for 3 or so years. For the past few years I've been mostly focused on fixing my chronic back pain and getting stronger in the gym. That part of my health and fitness is finally headed in the right direction and my back is way better. So now I'm turning my attention to solving my brainfog.

1) Brain MRI: I've had a brain MRI done recently. It shows some age related changes. Doc said some people experience symptoms and some don't. He did his usual exam and said everything appears fine. So not totally sure my brainfog has anything to do with this. Doc said something about brain blood vessels getting narrower as we age, especially if we've had high cholesterol, which I do have, but not super high - though recently made a decision to start a statin to get my #'s in range.

2) Brain Blood Flow from Training: My brainfog certainly seems blood flow related. For example, when I go the gym and strength train, this brainfog feeling definitely increases while I'm at the gym. So this sounds physiological - blood flow getting shunted from my heavy set of squats, deadlifts, benches, etc.. About an hour or so after my workout my brainfog is back to normal. Same happens for cardio.

3) Check for Sleep Apnea: I did the expensive in-lab sleep test a few weeks ago. I'm a bit chunky as I just went thru a year-long bulk as part of my strength training. Probably at 30% bodyfat. 185 lbs at 5'7". I snore more with this excess weight. But even 25 lbs lighter (like I was last summer) I still had this same brainfog. My sleep test results - mild apnea. The doc said most people stop breathing throughout the night as they relax - but it's the number of episodes that determine apnea. The doc that probably not necessary to treat unless I was having difficulties with being sleepy during the day and other sleep-deprived symptoms. But I tend to have plenty of energy throughout the day and wake up ready to hit the day. So I'm not if my mild apnea could cause brainfog. I have about 10 events an hour some hours throughout the night - at least during this test. So that's "mild". "Normal" would be 5 or less events. So I'm not convinced sleep apnea is my issue but wouldn't know for sure unless I used an appliance or got a CPAP (the "gold" standard). From what the doc said CPAP isn't usually recommended for "mild" apnea.

4) Caffeine. I drink 3 coffees a day. Two of them are Dunkin Donuts medium coffees and I recently switched my 3rd coffee to half-caff. Some research on amount of caffeine in a dunkin donuts medium coffee was fairly high - over 300mg. So with these 3 coffees I am probably getting over 500mg of caffeine a day. I have been drinking these 3 cups of coffee a day for decades with no issues but maybe my body is more sensitive to caffeine as I've gotten older. Some quick research on caffeine shows mixed results. Some say 2 or 3 cups a day is fine, others say that's perhaps excessive. And quick research also shows that caffeine does (or may?) constrict brain blood vessels - so this is the important part for me. I know caffeine is a vaso-inhibitor and if it's really restricting my brain blood vessels alot then I can definitely see how this could cause issues over the years as my blood vessels have narrowed from age-related buildup of arterial plaques. And the fact that I always feel 1000 times better in the morning than a night also makes me suspect caffeine. But this is something I really enjoy and quitting coffee isn't going to be easy. But I am thinking of a 90-day challenge to go without and see how this affects my body.

5) ADHD: I have suspected my whole life that I have ADHD. But I've never been diagnosed and I've lived a fairly normal life. But over the years I was a bit impulsive and a party animal - drank like a 1980's rock band. And drank alot for decades. These days I don't drink much and haven't been hungover in about 4 years. But for sure all those years of partying and alcohol abuse could have done some brain damage. Who knows. Anyway, I have been reading that brainfog is a common symptom of ADHD and that got me thinking that maybe a stimulant like Adderall would help.

6) Cardio: In 2018 and 2019 I started jogging and found it very addictive. I've never been a runner before this. But overtime I jogged more and more and in 2019 I ran over 1600 miles and felt mentally very good. But I messed up my back with all that pounding and haven't done much cardio over the last few years while I've been working on my strength. I've heard that cardio also builds new blood-flow channels. My cardio sucks at the moment, though I do walk about 10K steps a day. But I don't do much higher intense cardio. Though I have recently started adding this back in as my back is feeling alot better and stronger. So wondering if perhaps my brainfog would get better if I significantly increased my aerobic base and VO2-Max?

7): TRT: About 2 months ago I started TRT, 100mg a week of Testosterone Cypionate. My testosterone was a little low - 330 to 250 and my free and bio available testosterone were below the lowest threshold. So we'll see how the year goes with my body having some decent testosterone levels.

8) KETO: I eat a normal lifter's type diet, high in protein, and fill the rest with a combination of fats and carbs. I have listed to alot of health podcasts over the last few years and hear a ton of people talk about their brainfog going away once they cut out carbs. This got me thinking that maybe a good year on a KETO diet and using keytones for brain fuel - that this could help heal things? Not even sure if that's possible and I definitely don't like the idea of going low-carb forever. But it's on my list of things to investigate if need be.

With all that said - does any of this sound like you and your symptoms? Especially better in the morning and gets worse as the day goes on. I don't even like to go out and do stuff at night anymore as I'm too foggy feeling - like a zombie at times....though this has gotten better over the last year or so and not sure why.
I'm not even sure where to begin as there are so many areas to investigate. I'm thinking of continuing to work on increasing my cardio and giving up caffeine for 90 days and then re-evaluate things.
Thoughts? Thanks!!

I used to be a regular drinker and then took a long break, during which I was diagnosed with ADHD and prescribed Adderall. I’ve tried alcohol a few times since then, and it never feels the way it used to, even on days that I don’t take any medication. Does this have something to do with my dopamine receptors? I suppose it’s a good thing but I don’t really enjoy alcohol at all anymore and I’m just curious if it’s related and if anyone else has had a similar experience.

I’m a 42 year old female. I have a history of many “diagnoses” over the years. Depression, anxiety/panic disorder, alcohol abuse disorder, c-ptsd, borderline personality, ocd, bipolar etc. Really just depends what therapist or doc you talk to. Then years ago I convinced a doctor to let me try adderall for school. I had done poorly in college my first time with a GPA of 2.67. With the adderall I ended up graduating with my second degree from a much more difficult program with a 3.86 GPA. After college, I stopped taking the Adderall because it wasn’t a drug that I thought I needed to be on. I really just thought I was getting an edge for school. Finally a few months ago I started taking my Adderall exactly as prescribed. Not just when I needed it to do something. My entire personality changed. My impulsiveness seemed to dissipate and my desire to drink. Alcohol was about 80% gone. My reactive anger was almost nonexistent. I wasn’t lazy anymore. I felt happy and motivated and my anxiety was gone. I have been on 15 mg of extended release in the morning and 10 mg IR in the afternoon. Unfortunately, I feel like I built a tolerance to this and I am afraid to take more. I have attempted to take some days off. Today I was talking to my mom and it is one of my days off from work so I didn’t take my medication today. She admitted she can’t stand being around me when I’m out on it. It hurt my feelings a lot and I felt that “click” of anger inside immediately but calmed myself down and didn’t react. I realize she is right. I am very much on edge when I’m not medicated. She tries to talk to me a lot of mornings before I have my medication and I tell her to please not do that right when I wake up until after I’ve taken my Adderall. (I don’t live with my mom. I am just staying with her temporarily while I am on a work contract near her.) I kind of just feel like a freak that my baseline is a short fuse, my mind races but I feel tired and like I can’t get up but also can’t sleep. I’ve felt like this my whole life until I started taking adderall. Then I was wondering if the way I feel on Adderall is the way Neurotypical people feel on a regular basis or am I just on drugs and everybody else actually feels the same way I do but are better at hiding it?
Idk I feel like I’m rambling. Does anyone else have a similar experience? Were all of those random diagnoses just undiagnosed ADHD my whole life and that is why every single SSRI only made me worse?

So, I have a raft of chronic health problems. As best we can figure, I have post-viral stuff~ going on, from a stomach bug when I was in my early teens (I'm in my mid-30s now).
Basically, I have IBS, MDD, GAD, ADHD, CPTSD, IST, POTS, PCOS, GERD (hiatal hernia), chronic rhinosinusitus, sleep apnea (essentially untreated because the CPAP is intolerable), severe (very severe) bruxism, I'm technically Dx'd with fibromyalgia but none of my current doctors seem to hold much with it, and a couple handfuls of apparently solitary problems; stuff like migraines, some true allergies, dental issues despite good dental hygiene. For my allergies, some more or less certain than others: severe nickel allergy, Dx'd ethyl alcohol allergy by history (any and all alcoholic drinks give/gave me hives and made me flush and turn red, upset my stomach and make me feel immediately hungover, though it was an off and on thing until I quit drinking entirely), HDM, cats (I've been allergic to cats on and off since I was a teen and two immediate relatives developed the allergy either after pregnancy or puberty. I have owned cats for over 10 years.) Also I'm lactose intolerant. I'm... unclear on if I'm allergic to dairy or not, my doctors are disagreeing and no one seems interested in destabilizing me since I'm doing okay-ish on my meds atm, of which there are a fuckton.
It's been suggested I have: EDS, MCAS or histamine intolerance, some kind of primary immunodeficiency I guess. I'll be seeing an allergist/immunologist soon about the chronic sinus infection and the possible-MCAS stuff too. I was previously seen nearly a decade ago by an allergist/immunologist and that's when I found out about the chronic sinus infection thing, I did a bunch of antibiotics and a vaccine but it never totally resolved the issue and the infections are becoming a quarterly event again. I had basically no titers for Strep pneumoniae. Sorry for any unnecessary info, there's just a lot been going on, particularly since around January, and I'm just so in it that I feel like I'm drowning. I was seeing an allergist for a couple months around March but all of my loved ones hate him, my patient advocate says he's an asshole, and my best friend wants to fistfight him, to give you an idea of what kind of doctor he is.
I've had food issues since I was a teenager and the stomach bug, I became lactose intolerant/dairy allergic a year or two later. I got covid January 2022 (was vaccinated and boosted) and by mid March I decided to cut beef out of my diet entirely because eating it was agony. Basically my GI symptoms were constant but manageable when I became an adult, but after I got covid they drastically worsened back to the level of when I was a teen, and things have gotten worse since then. I started reacting to more and more foods and my triggers had already been mostly a mystery. I lost around 20% of my bodyweight in three months I think during that time, and my weight has been unstable in a 15lb range since then, when it's been pretty stable otherwise my whole life. My GI insisted that even though vomiting and weight loss aren't typical of IBS-D that my symptom presentation is typical enough that it's fine and not worth investigating. I had a colonoscopy/endoscopy last year and it was all normal excepting the hernia.
Last year around July I picked up a cross stitch hobby and forgot that needles probably have nickel in them. I started reacting within a week (hives, dyshidrotic eczema) and immediately started following my normal protocol when I've had too much nickel exposure, cutting out all suspect metal contact with the exception of house fixtures since that's always been sufficient in the past. It took a year for things to calm down after my first really bad nickel flare but I've been able to manage it before. Well, it didn't work this time and I remained super reactive. I was also stung a couple times by bees during this time, I was allergic to them as an adolescent but seemed normal this time. I started getting hives constantly, my stomach was an absolute disaster, my face and chest were flushed and I developed a minor rash on my face, my IST/POTS is normally fairly well controlled but I've been more symptomatic (my electrophysiologist has raised my ivabradine to compensate). Anyway, I ended up in the ER early February because I just couldn't eat or hydrate and even when I have to stop eating for a couple days so my gut will calm tf down I've always been able to tolerate water. I've also had a marked increase in my respiratory infections the past couple years. They never really went away and I did have a few years where I was getting bronchitis instead of sinus infections, but they've become much more frequent, though I do routinely get pretty sick when I'm feeling rundown. Idk if I'm just so run ragged that's why I'm getting sick or what. I also WFH and have become, well, a bit of a shut-in, so I'm not exposed to other peoples' illness as much, though my husband does interact with people with his work.
I got prescribed an epipen by my PCP a couple days after the ER, I'd never had one before. I started Allegra and Pepcid once a day on my own, my PCP got me an emergency appointment with an allergist who raised me to twice a day. Pepcid has had the single greatest and most positive impact on my gut symptoms to date, it's kind of maddening. Here I was thinking the anti-spasmodic my GI put me on was a miracle drug, and Pepcid of all things has had more of an effect with less side effects. I was taking azelastaine and Flonase (as needed) but the azelastaine made my nose bleed and I hate how they make me feel so I was told to stop.
The asshole allergist acknowledged that I might have MCAS or systemic nickel allergy syndrome but also said I definitely don't have it because my tryptase came back only slightly elevated twice and SNAS is incredibly rare. I know that that's a bad reason to rule out MCAS but I just don't know what to think or believe. He also said he thinks I have "too much histamine in [my] gut" on a phone call but when I asked him about it at my next appointment he claimed he didn't remember saying that and refused to discuss it further. He doesn't think I'm allergic to dairy (bloodwork came back .25 kU/L) because it would be super rare to have developed a dairy allergy and it not be congenital. I told him I wanted to do an oral challenge (based on several studies, I didn't just come up with it for no reason), he said there was no point and I could just drink milk at home and see what happens, I told him I knew that I would immediately and violently vomit because that's always what happens if I drink regular milk, he said okay then I should avoid lactose (which I already do) and he guesses I could avoid dairy entirely if I want to make my life even more difficult. I hate him. His resident tested me for common variable immunodeficiency, those levels are normal which she said is reassuring. My total IgE has been floating around 95-110, which I guess is abnormal enough to remark upon but also not indicative of anything? My new ENT (sinus specialist) said I almost certainly am allergic to dairy. She was very insistent that I not see asshole allergist anymore and I'm gonna see an allergist she works closely with "on cases like mine". She suggested I have a MCAD and said I may need to start taking a biologic like Xolair, but that's up to the allergist. I'd heard of it because of this sub but I did some more reading and it seems like an awfully intense medication considering all the ???? surrounding me, and I didn't know it's an injection. She put me on a pretty intense antibiotic sinus rinse and oral antibiotic regimen for the next 4-6 weeks and recommended I add a probiotic, I chose the Seeking Health probiota histamineX one. I think it's helping but it could be I recovered well after the antibiotic bomb to treat the most severe sinus infection I've ever had in my entire goddamn life a couple weeks ago.
I have no goddamn clue what is happening to me. Like, I've been a polypharm patient for half my life, but this is getting truly ridiculous. I had to add a potassium supplement because I had to stop eating bananas and the POTS stuff made the lack very noticeable, I can't eat chocolate, if I even look at beef it comes for my soul, now that I know I have a house dust mite allergy I need to worry about developing a shellfish allergy if I don't already have one and I know it sounds stupid but having to give up sushi and seafood makes me want to cry, I've already had to give up so much. The only reason I'm not surviving on like, rice right now is because my husband is the best home cook that's ever existed. I'm putting my cats on an additive to neutralize their dander. It would be insanely cost-prohibitive to dehumidify our home, I live in an extremely humid environment. Raising the ivabradine brought back the light phosphenes so now I can't drive at night again, the antihistamines make me drowsy. I had to have my birth control implant changed because the end of its life + covid booster late last year has had me bleeding constantly since then so I had to replace it early so on top of all this other BULLSHIT I'm bleeding too. I'm up to 17 pills a day and the antibiotic rinse which I've realized I literally cannot bring myself to do. I have a phobia of drowning or suffocating and I didn't think twice a day for a month would be so much worse than what I did before (once a day for two weeks), but I just can't do it, I really can't, I've been trying and doing it but it's just so fucking stressful. I'm incredibly fortunate to have the job that I do, because I don't know how I'd be employed with a less understanding boss. I've been having weekly breakdowns if I think about all of this too personally, I bought Dr Afrin's book and read part of it but now it seems more like I might have histamine intolerance than MCAS? I want to read more but I'm just so overwhelmed. Idek if I belong here.
I know I probably have EDS, it's been getting brought up since I was a teenager. I know I have POTS, I knew MCAS was a possibility when I first learned about it, about four or five years ago. I've had weird allergy issues for a long time. I know that doctors lie and gaslight and that asshole allergist was literally trying to gaslight me right in front of my husband, but I also worry that I'm... borrowing trouble? Doctors said I might have EDS and me and my advocate and the referral department tried everything to get any genetics clinic in the state to see me, or to get me to see another specialist who would actually look at the diagnostic criteria and it didn't work. Not even a HSD consideration. I'm scared that's going to happen now, that everyone's gonna give up and I'm gonna have no choice but to give up, when I'm so unstable. I tried to cut back on the Allegra and started developing hives again within 24 hours. I thought, because I'd been feeling more and more better as I've been on the antihistamines that maybe I'd have more breathing room, I guess? Now I feel like I've been on the edge of a cliff but thought I was six feet back. And if this is me, medicated, so unstable that lowering my Allegra dosage had such an immediate response, where the fuck was I before then??
Idk what I'm doing here. I originally made this post because there was another one that mentioned medical alert bracelets and idk if I should get one? I don't want to get one and then forget I'm wearing it and go to a doctor appointment and have them flip out on me. You guys might tell me that this is not a possible MCAS thing at all. I want to be safe, but I don't want to damage what credibility I have with my doctors and I know I already look bad with all the problems and medications. I am aware that I'm not really able to think clearly about this stuff. When asshole allergist was going on about the tryptase and getting another test (that he was 100% sure would be normal) I did seriously consider going to town on all the stuff that makes me sick before and during the specimen collection. My husband said no though, and he's not super medically aware outside of my dietary requirements.
Can someone please give me a reality check? Part of me worries that I'm not even actually that sick and my doctors are just throwing stuff at me to shut me up. I'm terrified they're gonna change my meds again, I've had so many new meds and dosage changes, they're usually always so careful to not change too many things at once. I'm also worried that I'm underreacting and my doctors up until the ENT sinus specialist haven't been educated enough to give me a clear idea of the risks.
My meds are: - Omeprazole 40mg (intending to lower back to 20mg bc of the Pepcid) - Bupropion XL 300mg - Klonopin .5mg (Respectfully, I don't want to hear anything about stopping this. That's the goal, it's just not advisable atm and I agree with the three docs who want to keep me on it for now.) - Adderall ER 20mg as needed - Famotidine 20mg twice a day - Ivabradine 7.5mg twice a day - Metoprolol 25mg twice a day - Fexofenadine 180mg two pills twice a day - Potassium supplement - Vit D supplement - Seeking Health Probiota HistamineX 10 billion CFU - Antibiotic

So they conditioned you to be addicted to the dopamine hits, no matter how small, that they gave you.
Narcissistic relationships are much like other self-harming relationships you would have with substance abuse. Alcohol, drugs, food, video games, etc.
If you look at other areas of your life, there’s probably a larger pattern of addiction cycles that mimic this type of relationship. Soo good at the beginning. But the 100th line of coke or shot of heroin is never as good as those first few is it? Yet people keep up their drug habits. Change their entire lives to chase those first hits.
Withdrawal is hard. But that’s the no contact solution. You have to go to rehab from the cheap dopamine your narc was providing.
So you really have a few options. Keep your addiction, fully realizing that it’s toxic and terrible for you. Replace with another addiction - I see a lot of folks choosing the self-medication route with unhealthy substances (see above).
Or you go to rehab. You go through no contact and work towards being addicted to yourself (in a sense).
And by the way. They’re an addict too. Low dopamine is a motherfucker. So a narcissist will chase the new high of new relationships, career achievements, materialistic things, and plenty of narcissists are getting high and drunk too. There’s a lot of adderall use to boot from what I’ve read.
Stop being an addict and fix yourself. This is the way.

The Baclofen would be my alternative to alcohol with Klonopin.
I recently started on .5 mg Klonopin which I intend on taking once daily for the next 2 years. Besides this, I also take 10 mg Adderall daily (for my ADHD), and 10 mg Propranolol 3-4 times weekly (for my social anxiety).
Yes, I’ve done lots and lots of therapy weekly for many years, and am extremely well-read on the risks of daily Klonopin. Despite this, I’ve decided to go forward with daily Klonopin — at no dose greater than .5 mg. My reason for wanting to include 10 mg Baclofen now is to achieve even greater relief from social anxiety. Previously, alcohol would do this via a beer on rare occasion, but I’ve always been a sober person and alcohol isn’t a route I’m ever going to consider for relief from social anxiety.
The .5 mg Klonopin has been such a clutch though. It’s like I can live again. I can be me. I can be around others, including my immediate family. Underneath the crippling social anxiety, I actually am outgoing, hilarious, pleasant, personable, and charismatic — and can outshine and excel in professional and academic environments. I’ve done so before, many years ago, after all.
Baclofen was prescribed to me a few months ago as a safer alternative to Klonopin, and it honestly works well, but not as well as Klonopin.
For those curious, my social anxiety situation is so severe and crippling that it previously has cost me posh lofty jobs I obtained from my (then outstanding) credentials and achievement, but years ago was let go because of how out of hand my social anxiety was in workplace setting. My career for years then went on a standstill before I broke through in my highest paying white collar job I have now that’s entirely remote. How my social anxiety manifests is, when seeing extended family, friends (who I don’t see often because of this condition), coworkers — heck, just being in an office setting around other people, or talking on the phone where others can hear me, my heart rate exponentially increase and so too my breathing, my face with tense up entirely and begin trembling to where I struggle smiling or having normal facial expressions. My arms and legs will tremble too. And then the awful racing thoughts about just how anxious I’m appearing at the moment, and seeing how uncomfortable the person interacting with me or those around me are at how unwell I am further leads to aforementioned symptoms continuing and escalating.
Additionally, for further context about me: I’m really fit, have an excellent exercise regimen, get sunlight and immerse myself in lush green spaces (that includes creek and lake) every day, and for years now have been devoted to eating healthy (think Mediterranean diet, but all organic and without bread or added sugar). Of course will have a cheat meal from time to time. But this is me!
All that said, would including my little Baclofen dose with my Klonopin be a safe thing? How risky would this be? My prescribing med manager told me to not take them together — not specifying why I shouldn’t. Doing some searching online and nothing suggesting seriously risky comes up.

It would be my alternative to alcohol with Klonopin.
I recently started on .5 mg Klonopin which I intend on taking once daily for the next 2 years. Besides this, I also take 10 mg Adderall daily (for my ADHD), and 10 mg Propranolol 3-4 times weekly (for my social anxiety).
Yes, I’ve done lots and lots of therapy weekly for many years, and am extremely well-read on the risks of daily Klonopin. Despite this, I’ve decided to go forward with daily Klonopin — at no dose greater than .5 mg. My reason for wanting to include 10 mg Baclofen now is to achieve even greater relief from social anxiety. Previously, alcohol would do this via a beer on rare occasion, but I’ve always been a sober person and alcohol isn’t a route I’m ever going to consider for relief from social anxiety.
Baclofen was prescribed to me a few months ago as a safer alternative to Klonopin, and it honestly works well, but not as well as Klonopin.
The .5 mg Klonopin has been such a clutch though. It’s like I can live again. I can be me. I can be around others, including my immediate family. Underneath the crippling social anxiety, I actually am outgoing, hilarious, pleasant, personable, and charismatic — and can outshine and excel in professional and academic environments. I’ve done so before, many years ago, after all.
For those curious, my social anxiety situation is so severe and crippling that it previously has cost me posh lofty jobs I obtained from my (then outstanding) credentials and achievement, but years ago was let go because of how out of hand my social anxiety was in workplace setting. My career for years then went on a standstill before I broke through in my highest paying white collar job I have now that’s entirely remote. How my social anxiety manifests is, when seeing extended family, friends (who I don’t see often because of this condition), coworkers — heck, just being in an office setting around other people, or talking on the phone where others can hear me, my heart rate exponentially increase and so too my breathing, my face with tense up entirely and begin trembling to where I struggle smiling or having normal facial expressions. My arms and legs will tremble too. And then the awful racing thoughts about just how anxious I’m appearing at the moment, and seeing how uncomfortable the person interacting with me or those around me are at how unwell I am further leads to aforementioned symptoms continuing and escalating.
Additionally, for further context about me: I’m really fit, have an excellent exercise regimen, get sunlight and immerse myself in lush green spaces (that includes creek and lake) every day, and for years now have been devoted to eating healthy (think Mediterranean diet, but all organic and without bread or added sugar). Of course will have a cheat meal from time to time. But this is me!
All that said, would including my little Baclofen dose with my Klonopin be a safe thing? How risky would this be? My prescribing med manager told me to not take them together — not specifying why I shouldn’t. Doing some searching online and nothing suggesting seriously risky comes up.

Hey guys, I’m felling pretty stir crazy today. I feel like I have lost something and am constantly searching for it all day. My body is searching for how to refill my dopamine receptors. What I used to do was binge adderall, alcohol, nicotine, pornography and fapping on the weekends. This is the first weekend that I’m trying to give all of it up except for nicotine. I don’t have any friends to go hang out with or a SO, so I’m curious if you guys can think of any other ways I can healthily relieve these feelings of being lost?

I’m a 47 year old male. I started feeling weird this past February. I went in for a CT scan in March that revealed an old stroke/strokes (chronic lacunar type infarct in left basal ganglia). I live in NYC with so-so insurance, and have been passed around from my general practitioner to a cardiologist to a neurologist. I’m scheduled for more scans in June. In the meantime, no action is being taken. I feel off all day every day and am terrified that I’m suffering from early onset dementia or alzheimers.

I’m writing this for two reasons. For one, I kind of just feel like I need to write this and get it out there. Second, I’m hoping someone reads this and has some sort of relatable experience and perhaps could offer some advice. This whole thing is so scary, but also very lonely. My wife is the only person who knows what I’m going through and I don’t talk about it very much with her as, even though she’s incredibly supportive, I know the whole thing freaks her the fuck out. I don’t want to cause her any additional stress by constantly complaining about my situation.

That’s really all you need to read, but I’ll go into more detail below in case you feel like catching up on the whole thing.

I was diagnosed with high blood pressure about 15 years ago. As I was in my early 30’s then, my doctor at the time felt I could stay off medication with some lifestyle changes. I did that for several years. It wasn’t until about 6 years ago, after the birth of my son, that I decided to get checked again. I knew I wasn’t living the healthiest and wasn’t feeling great. I found out then that my blood pressure was off the charts (210/160 territory). I’ve been on medication ever since. I mention all of this, as this may very well be the period when my undetected stroke happened.

The feeling I began experiencing in mid-February was similar to the feeling I’ve come to associate with high blood pressure – a lightheadedness and disconnect that feels more like being slightly inebriated than dizzy or confused. It would come and go at first, but by early March and up to now, it had become a feeling that stays with me all day every day.

It doesn’t seem to be progressing any further than this, though I’m certainly overly sensitive to any potentially progressive symptoms. It freaks me out to no end to get a slight headache. Most recently, I’ve kinda felt slight passing dizzy spells coming on in the second half of my day, as I begin to get tired. And that’s really it.

Sometimes, the feeling sits really heavily and other times I’m able to kinda forget about it while I get on with my day, but it’s always there to some degree. I had an initial screening with the assistant of a neurologist I was meeting for the first time. She was very nice and positive and even though no real new news came from that meeting, I felt much better over the course of the following week.

I then met with the neurologist, who informed me that I had been mistakenly referring to what had happened as a “ministroke” and that it was actually a small stroke. He was a bit flippant and I didn’t get the overall best vibe from him. He ordered the next round of scans I’m awaiting in June, but I started feeling more consistently bad again following that meeting.

The positive and then negative experience of meeting with the friendly assistant and then the dismissive doctor has me wondering how much of my condition is possibly psychological.

After my meeting with the neurologist, the results of some in-office ultrasounds came back, showing no issues with arteries in my head.

I’m incredibly physically active. I walk on average between 3-5 miles every day. I try to work out additionally a few times per week. I eat leafy greens and try to lay off added salt and sugar. I read and write daily as well as work on sudoku puzzles. I don’t drink alcohol or smoke. I drink tons of water.

Around the time this all began, I had just signed up for an improv class. I’ve kept with it throughout and have been told by many folks in the class that I’m very good, one of the best in the group. While in class, though, I feel disconnected and distracted. I find it hard to focus.

This brings me to the last complication. About two years ago, I was diagnosed by an online physician as having ADHD. This diagnosis has never come from a real doctor I’ve met with. I was initially prescribed Adderall, which provided some benefits with my focus, but was never any kind of cure-all. I was then switched to Wellbutrin (strictly for adhd purposes, I’ve never been diagnosed as depressed and have fortunately never struggled with that). I took the Wellbutrin daily until around the time this whole thing started in February, at which point I stopped.

So this is where I’m at. If the small stroke happened a long time ago, why would I just start feeling the effects of it recently? No one in my life even suspects I’m dealing with any cognitive issues, which means either it feels worse to me than it actually is or I’m just great at not showing the effects. There’s nothing else for me to do while I wait for MRI’s to be taken in June. In the meantime, I have ok days and bad days, all the while worried sick that I’m slowly losing cognitive abilities while also wondering if I’m having issues stemming from untreated ADHD.

How the hell do I even pursue help for ADHD while knowing I suffered a small stroke a long time ago? I feel like any psychologist is going to tell me my issues are stroke related, and not actually ADHD.

Oh, I also wondered if this feeling was related to my BP medication. I switched medication, and even stopped taking it altogether for a week. Nothing helped. So I’ve kinda ruled reaction to medication out.

I own a small business which allows me to set my own pace most days. My focus there hasn’t been great either though, and I’m worried my wife is having to carry more of the weight there while I deal with my issues.

Yuck! Even typing this all out is just serving to remind me of what a mess the whole thing is. I don’t know what advice anyone can offer, but if you made it all the way to the end, I appreciate you more than you know. Thank you for any words you may have to offer.

Episode 03 Summary - no guest
Everything in quotations is something one of them said (or talking about what a third person said, it'll be clear though).
This one is short because they only talked about PLL for ~29 out of 46 minutes.
They talked about: - tammin has never blacked out before, Lindsay has, and lindsay has driven blacked out - tammin feels bad after three drinks of alcohol - after COVID (so after PLL): Lindsay had walked naked (but with an open robe) to her local gas station (two blocks away). She kept asking the gas station guy to sleep with her, Lindsay doesn't remember any of it. - Lindsay's drug abuse with Adderall and Xanax. That was a really dark and sad section of their podcast. - Tammin (about the drug abuse): "And look at you now! Look how far [you've come]!" - tammin's family has a lot of doctors/surgeons, so she was always wary of drugs, even Advil - Tammin: "My drug of choice was perfectionism for a very long time. [...] I don't even wanna get out of bed to do the thing unless it's going to be incredible." - tammin's bulimia and anorexia, tammin said she was addicted to hating herself - Tammin: "I have never seen what anyone has seen in me, ever." - tammin: "It takes just one yes (for your life to change)." - the Wilden and Ashley (Marin) storyline has bothered Lindsay the most so far (six episodes in) - tammin lost her virginity at 18 to a 30 year old, she didn't understand it being wrong at the time - Lindsay: "I didn't realize Spencer was such a homewrecker." Ma'am they were grown men 🫠, also Lindsay: "They try paint her (Spencer) as this innocent, smart one." - Lindsay thinks the wren and Ian thing was to get her (Spencer's) parent's attention - tammin accidentally called Mr. Fitz "Fritz" 😭 just like Mona - Hanna wanting to have sex with Sean, but he didn't want to - they don't think Hanna should've crashed Sean's car, but tammin assumes this was probably just for the storyline (so Hanna would have to help at the dentist's office) - they are confused about Hanna not being injured from the crash
Memorable/funny quotes: - Tammin: "And look at you now! Look how far [you've come]!" - tammin: "It takes just one yes (for your life to change)."

30F/SW: 220/ CW: 215 I've been chunky most of my life. Previously I had lost about 70 pounds in super unhealthy habits and I managed to maintain that for about 5 years while even increasing what I ate.
After having my son via c-section, having bad ppd, nursing school, and a ton of loss over the last 4 years I've gone back up. The lowest I've managed to get back down to is 208.
I finally got a new doctor after my previous one blew me off and she's actually willing to help me. I started phentermine 3 weeks ago, dropped down to 213, gained a pound last week when a friend died and I drank a lot the whole week, decided to cut out alcohol again because I know how bad it is calories wise, health wise, and metabolism wise.
I'm starting at the gym in the morning (I got a membership a month ago and have just been so anxious to go). It's like my phobia of the gym is being scared of overdoing it again and becoming obsessive along with the judgement of other people...
I started tracking every gram of food again this week to look for hidden calories. I know I'm probably over eating a ton and not realizing how much I'm eating. I also work the cushiest night shift nursing job. I barely get any steps in at my tiny hospital so the gym is a must for me. I also invested in a walking pad for when I'm watching a show or my husband and I are playing games (although I'm scared to fall off while I'm playing games lol).
Also, the phentermine hasn't had much effect. I started off at 15mg and it did nothing. I'm on 30 now and it does seem to be helping my appetite some. I also take adderall so I'm probably just used to stimulants at this point.
Anyways just venting, looking for friends going through similar things, looking for advice, mostly just ranting.

After 5 months he has had 8 episodes of crazy drinking which ends with him having night terrors at the end of a day or two of absolute binge drinking, I don’t know what to do. I try to get him to stop drinking all day but he insists he is fine and accuses me of controlling him. He yells, argues, tries to pick a fight over anything- like if I don’t laugh at his joke or not respond to a funny moment on the TV. It’s agonizing. Now he has finally passed out on the floor next to the bed since he was flailing on the bed for 2 hours. I had to wake him up repeatedly because he was so loud he could wake up the neighbors and almost broke the lamp on the table.
I’ve begged him the first 6 times and broke up with him and the day before he was to leave, I caved and let him stay because I loved him and don’t want him to be alone with his demons and I don’t want to be alone as a 55 yo guy and have him feel abandoned and unloved. So unsure what to do. I don’t drink much. I don’t have much of a taste for it. I’m not sure what to do about this situation. I want him to want to quit drinking but he doesn’t seem interested. Help? Thank you for your advice.

Hey, so I’m not formally diagnosed right now because previous specialists didn’t take my case seriously. The first time I tried to get tested they said it was anxiety, the second time they administered a 3-minute long orthostatic blood pressure test (poor man’s tilt table) and told me there was nothing wrong with me. I’ve been dealing with daily symptoms for almost 3 years now: HR increase of 30-80bpm upon standing, headaches, blurred vision, and feeling weak when standing, general sleep issues, digestive issues, flip flopping all day between sweating and freezing, I’ve collapsed a few times after standing (never passed out), frequent brain fog, chronic fatigue, exhaustion after caffeine consumption and alcohol and more. I just started seeing a new psychiatrist and have been wanting to try a different adhd medication because concerta made me disgustingly nauseous. She wants to put me on 10mg of adderall, and I’m currently on 112.5mg of Venlafaxine XR (Effexor) for anxiety, and 15mg of Mirtazapine (Remeron) for insomnia. She wants me to decrease from 15mg to 7.5mg of the Mirtazapine (which I’m perfectly fine with, I think the lower dose has been more helpful anyway) to minimize the risk of serotonin syndrome, since all 3 medications contain it. She sent me a pamphlet on serotonin syndrome for me to see the symptoms: dilated pupils, sweating, chills, diarrhoea, tachycardia, muscle jerks/spasms, and more. The problem is, I deal with a lot of those daily lol, so I’m not super sure how to tell the difference between my normal and the syndrome. Has anyone on more than one or on high doses of drugs containing serotonin experienced this? I guess I’m looking to find how common it is, and what it feels like.