Coughing side pain

I'm 16F and I was here a little bit ago for back pain that still hasn't been resolved because money sucks. Shown here is my legs over the last month. On top of the back pain that feels like my bones are pushing against each other I've been noticing something is odd with my legs. Ive been having similar sort of pain all over but I figured this is the most visible and impactful (besides my back). It's been painful to move around and it has felt like it hasn't really gotten better. I've been really careful to avoid strain and I am 100% sure I haven't hit them in any way. I mention that because I have been getting tons of bruises and marks and weird indents that have no business being there. The issue is when you have chronic pain and a history with mental illness that even with what I've said about my back and legs (and honestly everything) it's still not a priority :( If anyone here has any suggestions it's much easier to get an idea of what to bring up or what to try and push for.
To put all my symptoms in one place:
I have uneven shoulders, shoulder blades, and ribs, (that I've been told from people at least) , and I get random bruises and spots (last photo). In my legs they constantly feel weak and for my left one it almost feels like a callus (in the way where it feels attached to me but also not?) which is really unpleasant when walking (and I trip a lot because I'm already pigeon toed apparently). As mentioned my spine feels like it's trying to escape my skin, in the squeezing, pushing pain way and everything else just feels weak and sore all the time. I thought maybe it might be something overall cause it all feels sort of similar in a burning type of way. Overall it seems to be a lot on the left side (being where stuff sticks out more and my shoulder is higher).
Pre-existing (diagnosed) conditions:
I have chronic migraines as well as heart abnormalities (mitral smth or other) , tachycardia and Dysphagia.
I'd appreciate anything because I feel sort of stumped right now.

back in march, whilst doing at lat pull down in the gym (probably overdoing it with the weight) i felt a pop in my left lat, on the lower side. initially i thought nothing of it and went into another set where i felt the pop again in the exact same place. it wasn't painful, but ever since i have felt a tingling sensation in the same spot when i'm sat down or my back is rounded. it's not painful, just a tingle but it flared each time back to the gym (which i've stopped completely now). most signs point to a herniated disc which is what the doctor says it is most likely to be but i've never heard of a lat pulldown causing a herniated disc, which is also what my physio said. after almost 3 months it hasn't improved at all and stretches make it 10x worse. is there any chance it's not a herniated disc and if it is why is it not getting any better? i'm 17M by the way. thanks

i’m 24F and this time last year i was traveling europe, doing 20k+ steps a day seeing amazing sights solo-traveling while working part time in France. i returned to the states in june last year and ever since then i’ve had increasing unexplained pain. i thought it was from my change in exercise, lifestyle, etc. after the move but everything i tried didn’t seem to help. in november, i got bloodwork done and my iron was extremely low. my dr thought my muscle + nerve pain could be related to the low iron. well, i’ve had 3 iron infusions now and it’s still low, but no longer critical. with no change in symptoms. they’re probably even worse. i have an endoscopy scheduled in a few weeks to check for an ulcer, but i just recently got into the hematologist (who kept rescheduling me. WHY does everything take so long?!) and he said he doesn’t think the low iron and pain are related at all. i’ve gone from a fairly active lifestyle to limping to and from bed. i currently have a cold and can’t even sneeze or cough without excruciating back pain. i can’t laugh anymore. i can hardly sleep. i am feeling so discouraged and it feels like i’m grieving the life i used to have. i’ve been to urgent care several times this year, my family doctor several times, the ER twice, a rheumatologist, GI, hematologist, had some x-rays taken, and upcoming i have a sleep study. no one can tell me anything concrete, i just keep getting passed around dr to dr. the rheumatologist and hematologist both said they don’t see anything abnormal other than the iron, and that my inflammatory markers are really high. so they said i should check back in a few months. hematology was who suggested looking into fibromyalgia, though, which i had already been suspecting. but i don’t even know. my family dr started me on 300mg gabapentin about 4-5 weeks ago and i haven’t noticed a single difference. and with the possibility of an ulcer, i can’t take any steroid or anti inflammatory. i just don’t know what to do anymore but i don’t want to keep “living” like this, if that’s what you can even call it. i had big plans this summer to travel, go to grad school, and everything has been put on hold. i’m just so frustrated and depressed. if anyone has any advice or just sympathy it would be much appreciated.

30F, CO USA. History of migraine, pigmented purpuric dermatosis. Medications taken are aimovig, Maxalt as needed, Nurtec as needed, Wellbutrin xl 150mg, progesterone only birth control.
I was having pain in the inner lower portion of my knee/top of shin area on both sides. It was very painful to touch but not just a general pain if I wasn’t. This occurred for many months and finally I asked my doctor who said it was likely pes anserine bursitis. He injected both areas with a steroid like 2+ months ago
It helped and I have very little pain now which is great! In the downside, my legs became discolored at the site of injection. It is not warm, or painful, and doesn’t appear to be any type of infection.
The areas are now red/purple and the skin in only that area is a little dry and scaly. The discoloration tends to vary and they get extra dark if in a warm shower or outside in the heat. They seemed to get more red also when walking a lot (I was in Vegas so tons of walking like 30-50K steps per day).
Pics in comments.
My doctor wasn’t sure he said that steroid injections can cause discoloration but usually hypopigmentation which isn’t the case here. I had some splotchy blood spots a while back that we biopsied and it came back as “pigmented purpuric dermatosis” and nothing serious. Steroid cream cleared it almost immediately. He seemed really stumped what this one could be because it doesn’t seem related to the PPD, looks and acts different. I’ve been using .05% clobetasol on it for 5 days with no changes and I can’t get into a derm for a bit.
Any ideas what it could be?? I’m so curious for input.

I (38F) had a special needs child with J (37M). Me and J met while I was going into the military, where he already had a career as a Corporal. I started my military career late, 24, after holding off on this dream to complete college. Me and J had a great long-distance relationship while I was in basic, constantly writing letters to each other and plotting out our future. During my boot leave I went down to go see him and this is when we conceived my child. I again had to go back to training shipping me to the other side of the country. This was a grueling training and they had strict rules, like no outside communication for certain training. While at the training I started to identify the changes in my body and believed I was pregnant and snuck to communicate the news with J. He answered on the first call, which came from an anonymous number, and I informed him that I was likely pregnant with his child, and we may need to talk further about next steps. J went silent, then rushed me off the phone. Any time after that he did not answer the phone when I called. Two weeks go by, and I complete the training and reach out again to J to see if we can discuss the bun in the oven. He finally picks up and tells me that I am ruining his life by being pregnant and he breaks up with me. I cry and feel devasted as I am across the country from anyone, I am close with and in a situation that is new to me I felt betrayed that he did not even want to talk about anything. Two days after that conversation I make up my mind that I will keep the baby and I will do it on my own, as I was headed towards a career in the military. To speak on the timeline, this is December, this information will be important. I continue working and at this time J has made a few attempts to reach out to me, but I did not want to deal with the stress and ignored him. By early February, I started having complications with the pregnancy and was shipped back home to the east coast to manage the situation amongst family. At this point I spoke with J to let him know that the pregnancy is deemed high-risk, and he was showing slight interest in the child, and I would not deny access to my child if the parent was genuine. Throughout my pregnancy J made comments that told me he wanted to get back together with me, but I no longer trusted him and refused to ever go back into the relationship. The lack of interest on my part made him upset and caused him to tell me things that made me realize that we could not be friends either. He asked for a paternity test and also questioned why I wanted to hyphenate my son's last name with mines. His mother also was asking those questions, but that is another story. I was in an out of the hospital and my son was born 24-week gestation as a micro preemie. J was not hands on with my son and did not financially contribute to the care of the child. He stated that it was because he was in the military, but he was never deployed while my son was alive, yet he still never called to check-in. 4 years after my son was born J was discharged from the military and co-parenting was nonexistent, I did everything, and J watched him every other weekend. An arrangement I had to force on him because I worked on weekends and did not think it was fair to constantly rely on my family to take time on their weekend to watch my son when his father lived 15 minutes away. It was during one of those visits that my son fractured his arm. My son is nonverbal and non-ambulatory, so he is unable to say how he is in pain, so as a parent you have to be observant. When I went to get my son, J informed me that my son had hurt his arm, but he woke up that way. My son likely woke up at 8AM Sunday and he handed him to me about 8PM Sunday night. Meaning my son was in pain for at least 12 hours and J was aware and never took him to urgent care to ensure it was not serious. Because his "he woke up that way" explanation the doctors called child protective services on J. J's reaction to this was to "lay low" he did not communicate with us, he never asked how my son was healing. This was the triggering step to cause J to disappear for 7 years no communication. I continued to manage everything for my son. Now my son's passport is expired and we had to go to court to get legal custody (j's name is on the BC) and since we could not find him I had to fight in court to get sole custody. I was in court for 3 years and on the last court date, J shows up and states that he wishes to have a relationship with our son. I was upset and outright refuse to modify our lives to accommodate the whims of a man that did not care for his existence for 7 years. Our last court date is due to come in a week and I will see how the judge is trying to rule.

back in march, whilst doing at lat pull down in the gym (probably overdoing it with the weight) i felt a pop in my left lat, on the lower side. initially i thought nothing of it and went into another set where i felt the pop again in the exact same place. it wasn’t painful, but ever since i have felt a tingling sensation in the same spot when i’m sat down or my back is rounded. it’s not painful, just a tingle but it flared each time back to the gym (which i’ve stopped completely now). most signs point to a herniated disc which is what the doctor says it is most likely to be but i’ve never heard of a lat pulldown causing a herniated disc, which is also what my physio said. after almost 3 months it hasn’t improved at all and stretches make it 10x worse. is there any chance it’s not a herniated disc and if it is why is it not getting any better? i’m 17M by the way. thanks

I think I might need surgery again, but how can you tell? My MD was 2/13. Before surgery I had only pain in my back and hip and only numbness in my leg. After surgery, I still had the numbness but then the burning nerve pain started- in my toes, foot and side of my leg, but slowly all of that was improving. I was doing so well, I returned to work half time in April and full time in May. I was feeling good. Still a lot of numbness but almost no pain. Then all of a sudden on 5/16, the nerve pain came back! My foot feels like it's on fire again, the toe feels like it's being crushed. It's horrible! I can't think of what I did. I know I started back to work and I know I was running around with my kids a bit and running around at work but I felt okay. I am so discouraged and thinking that I'm going to need surgery again! How can you tell the difference between a flare-up and needing surgery again? I now have back pain and pain behind my knee! My Dr mentioned that if it doesn't get better in 2-3 weeks we can do another MRI. But I can't even work while I'm in this much pain, I can't wait 2-3 weeks. I don't know what to do! I'm so depressed and thinking it must have been something I did, thinking it's all my fault. I'm so upset. Can anyone give me their similar experience or advice?
TLDR: How could you tell the difference between a flare-up and needing surgery again?

TLDR -
Our relationship began last summer, although we initially met in grad school during a Zoom class and later in person during our internships. I had an immediate crush but was too nervous to approach her. Fast forward to last April, we matched on Tinder, hit it off quickly, and went on our first date almost exactly a year ago. Despite my nerves, it was the best date I could have hoped for, and we connected deeply. Over the summer, we continued seeing each other, often spending late nights watching movies. Even though she initially said she wasn’t ready for a relationship, we spent a lot of time together, and eventually, we became a couple before I moved away for an artist residency.
The long-distance relationship was challenging but manageable, as we talked all the time, and became very ingrained into each other's lives. I often drove long hours to see her, and we communicated regularly. We had started talking about moving in together when I returned, as well as the possibility of marriage. However when I moved back, my workload increased, particularly with a ceramics, and our relationship began to strain, without me noticing. The stress from my work and the disappointment from a failed kiln firing led me to shut down emotionally, affecting our communication. She felt neglected, especially since I didn’t discuss my struggles in fear of worrying her about my health. As I feared I was borderline depressed, from the lack of motivation and burn out. I also applied to a different residency assuming we were on the same page about the situation, which would affect our plans of moving in together. Despite our deep connection and mutual support, my preoccupation with work and lack of communication caused her to feel pushed away. Now, she's unsure about her feelings for me, overwhelmed by her own challenges she needs to face within the next month, and needs time to think about our future. I’ve been trying to show her she is my priority, but I’m unsure what else to do and desperately seeking advice on how to assure her of my commitment and rebuild our relationship.
Things had been fine for 7-8 months until I started shutting off emotionally from the constant failure and disappointment of work outcomes. When I realized to make an effort to see each other more, it was too late as she felt too pushed away at that point. We talked yesterday and came to the conclusion that we're not breaking up, but she needs some time and space to herself while she decides how she feels about the relationship.
The long explanation
I guess I should start off with how the relationship started and how it's been for first 7-8 months.
We started seeing each other last Summer after her graduation. We had originally met in grad school, we had a Zoom class together and we met in person for the first time during our internships. I immediately got a crush on her, and tried to just say Hi to her whenever I got the chance. I saw her as someone way out of my league, and was nervous to talk to her.
Flash forward to last April, we match on Tinder and we really hit it off quite fast. I was still nervous about the whole thing, thinking she wouldn't be into me. I eventually got the guts to ask her out, and we finally went out almost exactly a year ago. I was worried the date would be awkward and she wouldn't like me, at this time I also hadn't been out with anyone else in years, I had gotten out of a very long term relationship previously and hadn't met anyone new yet.
It was honestly the best first date I could have hoped for, better than I could have hoped for. Since the moment of picking her up to dropping her back off, we were talking non stop. We got to know so much about each other that night and I fell for her almost immediately. We almost kept the workers at the restaurant late, we didn't realize an hour had gone by after we finished eating. We just sat there talking. Then we went to karaoke night at a bar, we didn't do karaoke as we're both very shy in front of crowds. Overall it was literally the best night I had in a very long time.
After our 3rd time going out, I thought I would ask her out properly, and see if she would like to be a couple. I did, but she said it was too early for her to start a relationship as she had gotten out of one 2 months prior. But that she enjoys our time together and just needed some time before going into a new relationship. Which was fine, I wanted to respect her space and gave her the time she needed. We still saw each other multiple times throughout the Summer. I went over to her place late at night quite often to watch movies until 3 or 4am.
During this time, I of course still had huge crush on her. I also drove by her work when I got the chance to drop off coffee. If she texted to ask if I wanted to watch a movie, I would drop everything I was doing. I just wanted to spend as much time as I could with her. Because I also knew that she was moving away, just two hours away from where we both were, but that was still pretty far and I thought the distance would ruin any chance. It also didn't help that I was also moving out of state, 10 hours away from her. I was willing to do anything to make long distance work. I just needed to ask her again.
Before I actually asked her if she wanted to be in a relationship together, we finally had our first kiss while watching a movie, and that whole week we basically acted like a couple, but hadn't made it official yet. I told her my feelings, and she told me hers. Turns out she was very into me as well. I asked her if she was sure, since we were both moving far apart. We agreed that we could make it work. We had gotten along so well over the last 2 months. We like all the same stuff, music, tv, movies, games, etc. It felt like she was the person I was missing in my life for so long. Literally my second half.
She moved before I did, but I drove to her every weekend before I moved. And I always stayed from Friday to Monday. I helped her explore her new city, and move all of her stuff over. I fell for her more and more every day. After I made my move, we agreed to call each other every other night, to play games together or to watch a show or movie. It was hard, but we managed to do it. The roughest parts were having to deal with no phone service up there, or very little access to internet. But we made it, and she even drove all the way up to see me for one weekend. Which meant so much to me.
Over the next few months, I had started to struggle at my new place and in the position I was in in my career. I also managed to make time to see her once, sometimes twice a month. My drives would last 10-12 hours depending on traffic, but it was always worth it just to be able to see her.
I eventually left my position, due to very poor management, and for it being a nearly abusive situation. So in December I packed everything up and moved back home. Here's another important detail. My position was to be just for a year, which is one of the reasons we worked so hard to make long distance work. As we knew eventually we'd be close again. Our original plan was this. I'd move and work for a year, and when I come back we would look for a place together and hopefully move in. A this point, marriage had been brought up. We both knew we love each other so much, and that marriage was in our future.
I guess I should clear up what I do. I'm an artist, and the last few years have been spent with me participating in artist residencies. These vary in length, but the one I moved for was a year. I had hoped that I could gain experience in my field, in a proper studio setting, and develop my work further with the studio access I would have. It's specifically in ceramics. This was my first residency that was long term. In the past the max was 2 weeks. As a ceramic artist, woodfired ceramics is my thing.
Anyways, I moved back. Everything went back to the way it was before I moved. We alternated who drives to who on the weekends. We spent the entire week of Christmas/new years together. Before that on my visits, she was able to meet my family and friends. Everyone points out how well she and I get along, and that we're such a great match.
Starting in January, I was back in the mood to work on ceramics related projects. I had managed to get into some woodfirings, which for those unfamiliar, they're not very common. It's also a very demanding type of firing as we're stoking the kiln with wood constantly. These can be anywhere from 12 hours, to 100 hours straight. during this time I had also started working for my family's business again.
During January and February I was in my home studio constantly making work, often well into the night. Some deadlines started coming up, and as they got closer I was rushing as much as I could, and making as much work as I could. But it hadn't affected my life much, yet. Everything had still went well, and we were still calling each other at least twice a week, and seeing each other every weekend. Every other Sunday was D&D night with my friends, which she joined into as well. Everything was still going great.
March is when I think everything started going downhill. Besides the fact that I had a ceramics conference coming up, and that was a ton of pressure. I also had the biggest firing of the year happening 2 weeks after the conference, and I was one of the key leaders necessary to make the firing happen. There was tons and tons of pressure on me in March/April. I had to rush work for the conference AND the firings. And the previous firings I had earlier in the year turned out to not be very great, and left me very disappointed. But the biggest firing of the year was happening, and I need work. Because I had also been considering applying to another residency, I was so screwed over by the last place, that I wanted one more shot. It also didn't help that I also started up a Minecraft community my friends and I ran, but one that I mostly ran. I didn't realize how much time that took up either.
The conference went well, she went with me and she got to meet all of my ceramic friends, and we had our first road trip. the conference was a 12 hour drive for us. As soon as I got back from the conference, I knew I had to rush a lot of work and start prepping out at the kiln. I still set aside the weekends to see her, but I was just so busy during the week not just with the kiln, but also working for my family. I shifted my free time to playing Minecraft, as it's always been a comfort game for me since I was in high school. Some days I'd be so exhausted I didn't want to do anything else but just place blocks mindlessly for a few hours. At the conference, I met lots of people, and the hype from it all made me want to reapply to a residency. I had brought up that I was thinking about reapplying, and it felt like she was supportive of that decision. She was very aware of everything that happened at the last place.
the week of the firing I needed to be there as much as I could, I did 12 - 16 hour shifts on the kiln at a time, and I did overnight shifts. This meant for the whole week, she would work all day while I slept, and then I went and worked all night while she slept. I didn't realize how much this would affect her. I don't even think we saw each other that weekend, we waited until the next so she could come unload the kiln. That was the first time we spend more than a week without each other since I moved back.
I wanted to try another residency, and the deadline for the only place I was interested in was a few days after we finished firing. So I took that weekend to write out my application and send it in.
When we finally unloaded the kiln, it really really, really, disappointed me. So much time in the studio, so much time making work and starting over, so much time spent working on firing the kiln. Everything went wrong, and 90% of work I made was ruined. It really hit me hard, but I didn't want to show it. It affected me mentally and emotionally more than I thought it could. I kind of shut down for a bit. I went back to work, and when I came home in the afternoons I didn't do much, I just stayed in bed. On my off days during the week, I'd spent most of the day in bed. Barely talking to anyone. It just really sucked. So much. It sucked because I had hyped this up to everyone. I hyped myself up. I posted about it every day promising to update my followers on social media. I put in SO MANY hours into this. Just for almost all of my hard work to be ruined.
I didn't talk about how I felt. I didn't talk much.
I don't want anyone to think I'm trying to make excuses. I just shut down for a bit, and I didn't realize how much that would affect her. I had noticed since march, and especially in April we hadn't talked much during the week anymore. Maybe once a week we called to play something, or watch something. I was busy, and she was busy and going through her own struggles. She's a middle school teacher, and she's really been struggling the whole year in her position. I was always there to comfort her, and to be someone to listen to her about everything that's been going on. But all of that time just focusing on my work put a lot of strain on our relationship. You'd think that after the firing was over, I'd be free again and have time. But I was so disappointed I spent the whole week after making work again and rushing again, since I had a market to do, and I needed work to sell. the sale also wasn't great, and all of that just really hurt me. I didn't want her to worry about me. So I kept a lot of my thoughts to myself, of how I was feeling about the firing, and in general the career I've been trying to build in ceramics.
Me focusing on my work, and only my work, really really affected our relationship more than I ever though it would. And it was never intentional. And the rest of April/beginning of May was just rough. We saw each other maybe one day a week, or not at all, one day it was just for a few hours, since we had other things to do on the weekends. The market was out of state, and she wasn't able to go with me due to her work. I also realized I wouldn't get the residency, which was honestly kind of a relief.
Two weeks ago, I felt as everything finally cleared and I was starting to feel better. I went to see her on a Sunday, and I had taken a few days off so I could stay at her place until Wednesday. We hadn't had time together for more than a day in a really long time. So this was time to make up for some of it. Something had felt off that day though. I wasn't sure what it was, but I started to get worried. We would often tell each other "I love you" followed by "you promise, you swear?" It was always playful, while also being a little bit of a reassurance. I asked her that day, and it felt mostly normal. Later that nigh while getting ready for bed, she was just looking at me, and I asked "What's wrong"
This is when everything came out. She said she was afraid that we wouldn't make it. And then said that over the last 2 months, she felt pushed away and like she wasn't a priority to me. That it hurt that I applied to a residency without talking to her about it first, especially since our original plan was to move in together. I thought, we were on the same page on that. She seemed supportive, but we never had a real conversation about it. It was, "hey I applied for this thing" and "I hope you get it, you really deserve another chance!" She even looked for teaching jobs in the area I would move to, if I did get the residency.
Since that firing I wasn't there for her. I didn't tell her about my days where I just wanted to rot in bed. Some days I didn't now what to talk about. I felt borderline depressed. And I didn't talk, or talk about it, or talk to her much. I kept looking forward to the days when we would see each other on the weekends, but other things got in the way most times, and we didn't have the regular amount of time we had gotten used to. In person when we did see each other, things felt normal. I guess the weekdays after work are when she needed me the most, while I either stayed in bed all day, or got on Minecraft to mindlessly place blocks. Sometimes I didn't even do anything productive in game, I just ran around. I was sad. I just didn't want her to see me like that.
It sucks that I noticed too late. I knew we hadn't been able to have a lot of time together. I had planned to finally dedicate a few days together like before, and I brought over some board games so we could have stuff to do together. I knew that we would have to talk about moving in and planning out the rest of the summer.
The time apart, and the time of me not talking much really hurt her so much. I feel so terrible about it. Like I said it was never intentional. She said that her days for the last month were just going to work and coming home, hoping she would get a chance to talk to me. She said that night, that she doesn't know if she feels the same way about me anymore. She felt pushed away so much, and felt like she's already mourned the relationship. And she said it wasn't just that, that's made her afraid about our relationship. She's having trouble finding a new job, and her lease is up at the end of June, and she can't look for a new place, until she gets a new job. She's been applying for a lot of jobs closer to my area. But she also doesn't know if she needs to move back to her parents to take care of them, as they're not doing well either. And they live on the opposite side of the state. She has a lot of pressure on her right now and is very overwhelmed by everything going on, and all the decisions she's having to make in such short notice.
That night I, possibly stupidly, asked her if she wanted me to leave, after she said maybe she just needs some time and space. I say stupidly, because after I got home I felt like leaving wasn't the right decision. Before I left though, I told her everything. About how I had been feeling, and how I don't even know if I want to do a residency anymore. But she told me not to say that because of her. Of course not doing it would mean I get to stay with her, but I assured her this is something that's been on my mind. I told her that maybe we're just having a rough patch in the relationship and we should work together on it, and apologized for not being there for her. She said that with everything else going on with her, her parents, her work, her lease, everything, she needs some time to think about our relationship.
Since that night, I've been doing everything to assure her that she IS my priority and trying to prove to her that I do care and love her very much. I've been trying so hard to put myself back together, and just been reflecting on everything that's happened since we met. And thinking about the future, and trying to plan things out.
I wrote her a 6 page letter explaining all my feelings and how I felt about her, and reminding her of all the absolutely great times we had together. As well as highlighting my mistakes, and promising to never make her feel pushed away again.
She came over last weekend, I assume originally to return my stuff and call it off. It was different, there was a big elephant in the room, and I finally asked her how she's felt. And she says she still doesn't know. She had some time to think about everything, but doesn't know what she wants to do. We agreed that she would need some more time. We ended up going out for food and a movie, and she stayed the night. Though, opposite sides of the bed, and no kind of intimacy. Which is fine, she needs the space. She read the letter, and said it was very sweet and wished I put that much effort over the last two months. and I just said "I do too"
She came back this weekend, and stayed again. It almost felt back to normal. We spent Saturday and Sunday together, we went out, went shopping, went to one of our favorite restaurants, and another movie. I didn't bring anything up because I didn't want to ruin what felt like a regular weekend with her again. But before she left I just felt like I need to ask how she had been feeling. She said that she came over because she was wanting to feel it out, see how we would do together. And that she had fun with me.
She just still doesn't know if she feels the same way anymore. But that there's something keeping her from saying she wants to break up. She said that she still likes me a lot, and doesn't want to lose contact with me, and that she doesn't want to never see me again. That maybe, she just needs to settle down with her job, parents, and moving. I asked a question, I said "This might be a dumb question, but did we break up?" She said she doesn't know. We kept talking about stuff, and we came down to we didn't break up, but she still needs some time to get everything sorted out. Because, like I said, she's very overwhelmed with a ton of stuff. She still doesn't know where she's gonna move to, if she's gonna be able to move. But she said that she and I make a really good match, that we're best friends.
She's coming back over on Friday, and Saturday we're gonna spend the day looking at some apartments, in the general area where she's looking for a job.
I just don't know what else I can do. And I'm desperate for any advice anyone has to offer.
Here are my thoughts on from my side.
I know I can say she's my priority all I want, but I really need to show it. I've been more active in showing her that. Everything else aside, the last two weeks we've been talking more than we have been in a while. We still call to watch shows. We've been on Survivor, 90 Day Fiance, and Sopranos. I haven't suggested 90 Day lately though given the situation. She's gonna get Stardew soon, and we'll start playing together hopefully this week. Yesterday we started Shogun. I know that the last two weeks isn't going to magically fix all of our problems. I'm very aware of that. But I'm trying to show her she IS my priority.
Career wise, I've reflected a lot on this. I need to use my teaching degree, and get a job as a teacher. It's still my plan to be an artist/teacher. Part of the reason I wanted so badly to do a residency, besides having a studio, I thought it would help a lot on a resume. Plus more actual studio experience, felt like it would be great for my future students. It's always been my plan to teach. If I don't use my teaching certification for 3 years, I have to renew, which I've heard is a pain and expensive. this was my last year before I have to renew, so I felt I could get a residency out of the way before going into teaching full time.
But I'm 100% okay with not getting to do that. Like I said previously, I was honestly a little relieved when I realized it wasn't happening. I'm starting to look for job openings in the area, and I have an interview to be an instructor at a local studio tomorrow. Besides that I have no set in stone plans for a job and where I'm living. Since leaving the residency in December, I've had to move into my parents for the time being. I think no matter what I need to start looking for a new place soon. I hadn't looked before, because I was thinking I'd either move out of state again or move in with her.
If she were up for it after all of this, assuming it goes well, I'd move in with her anywhere she ends up moving to. I half jokingly said that if she has to stay in her current job, and city, that I looked into it and there's a place there I could potentially teach at as well. But she said she doesn't want to feel like she's making me uproot my life for her. But I would have anyways if things went well this whole time. And that if she moves back in with her parents, there's another place up there I could work out of.
Again, I know stuff like that isn't going to magically fix everything. If I said hey let's move in, I know that's not the solution. But I'm not saying let's move in, in hopes that it fixes everything.
She feels like I would be giving things up to be with her. I just don't know how to assure her that it's not me "giving things up" If we were to be together for sure, I would be more than happy to do what it takes to be with her. How to I assure her that "giving things up" isn't a bad thing. I feel like she feels that me staying with her, is the bad option. I also feel like she's afraid that I'd make her feel pushed away again. She asked what happens during the firing next year, and I gonna ignore her again? I assured her I wouldn't, and that I'm over woodfiring a bit. This year was just really rough in terms of my work being woodfired. Just disappointment after disappointment. I've also learned that my professor, who runs the firing, has been cutting off a lot of our regular shift leaders lately. He kept saying that they really needed me this year. I felt bad about our key people missing out, and felt pressure to work as much as I can do make it happen. Which is why I did up to 16 hours a night on the kiln, and spent so much time prepping it the week before, as well as all the pressure of having to rush work. After hearing everything that's going on, I feel almost taken advantage on with this whole situation. Since the firing I've learned about all the people he cut off, and accusations he's made about people.
Also, sorry about such a long post. I wanted to be as detailed as I can, so people don't get the wrong idea about things. I've tried to keep everything clear, while still leaving very personal details to a minimum.
I really thought she was the one, since day one we've gotten along so well. We quickly became each other's best friends. She's my best friend and my favorite person. It's really scary, the thought of losing her. But I hurt her so much, and I didn't even realize it until it was too late, and I feel so terrible about it. There's a part of me that's cautiously optimistic. If we break up what if we never talk again? She's become so ingrained into my life, it's scary to think one day I'll go a whole day without talking to her. I know she's really thinking about it, and taking her time. Instead of jut saying that. I'm very aware of my mistakes, and that I should have done things differently. I'm trying my hardest to make up for it. I know that it'll take some time, it's not something that'll be instantly fixed.
I just don't know what else to do, if I should just keep going the way things are right now, who to talk to about all of this. I just need any kind of advice and/or reassurance. She said that in the worst case scenario, we're just best friends, and she doesn't want us to stop hanging out at all or lose contact. Because we make such a good match.

After the heresy, Rose desperately tried to find the cure for the nails biting into the head of his beloved. Countless experiments from “borrowed” convicts, stolen STC’s, and scans all led him to the same grim conclusion: death. Each time he moved the bodies to the back for the nails to be removed after the day’s trials were over. The nails had taken everything—her smile, her laugh, her mind. No matter how much time passed, the nails remained, and his efforts to find a cure were all in vain. The sight of them taunting throughout the trials, a constant reminder of what had been taken.

After countless attempts, he heard a sound—humming, coming from the nails on the dissection table. It sounded just like when the nails were activated, yet they lay there on the cold, bloodied table, motionless. Had the dark gods infested the remaining sanity he had left? Did he have any sanity left? Dismissing it as sleep deprivation, he returned to his quarters, hoping to ease the pain of failure. Yet the sound of the nails followed him even into his dreams, along with—. Screams too many to discern yet one he could make out. Rageful and brutal yet through all the malice it brought remembrance.

He blinked awake to a landscape of red sand, flowing violently in a storm. He remembered these sands from when he met her. A shadow formed in the sandstorm—it was her! Running as fast as his legs could carry him, each step sinking slightly into the red sands below. Reaching out for her after all this time.

“Atalanta, it's me! Your Rose!”

Treading across the red sands, the storm grew stronger the closer he got to the shadow. Joy and determination drove him to see her again, no matter the obstacle. A sliver of doubt crept into his mind about how she seemed too quiet, but he dismissed it. No, she would be happy to see him after all this time. Steadying his pace as the sandstorm grew thicker, he made it to what appeared to be the eye of the storm. There she stood atop a hill of red sand. Her back turned, with her two chainaxes in hand bloodied as much as her armor.

“Atalanta, I'm here! Don't worry about the heresy; we'll run away together, just you an—“
Creaking ceramite made him pause, his heart sinking in silence. World Eaters—no, loyalist Space Marines—bodies lay beneath the sand, the blood of countless battle brothers soaking the ground. Looking up, he saw her standing on a mountain of corpses, both her sons and loyalists. The thought of running away slithered into his mind. No, not when she needed him more than ever before. Casting out doubt, he trod up the corpses of their fallen sons, each step burdened with regret of our sons and fellow astartes.

“Rose?”
Though raspy and tired it brought him shivers and comfort. Before a word to her response was formed, her figure seemed to change. Her skin began to take on the color of the red sands. Limbs sprouted from her back, wings overshadowing her figure with a barded tongue of a tail, running down to her feet.

“R-Rose?
“Oh, I remember now. . .” he said under his breath watching his beloved turn to him heaving rageful breath. Memories of the heresy hit full force almost as much as the sound of revving chainaxes bleeding into his ears. All he could do was look up at the two weapons drenched in gore, ready for the kill. And smile.

Waking up hand clenched to his chest gasping for air after such a nightmare. Leaning off the side of the bed to calm himself catching what breath he could. Turning towards the empty side of his bed before getting ready to start the cycle of progress. Dressing up and eating what seemed necessary, the crew worried but they all knew his focus was unshakable. Returning to the lab alone the sound returned. Subtle it was for the screams of convicts and documentation seemed to work well enough to ignore. Failure after failure it grew in pitch with it being the only thing now occupying his mind. Lumbering around the lab attempting to find focus with another dead convict on the table, the nails got to him. Grabbing the lifeless cables still stained with blood with a boiling rage.
“This is ALL YOUR FAULT!” growling at them only to hurl them at the equipment he once handled with care. Metal fell and glass shards flew across the lab. Still the nails laid on the floor unscathed by his rage. Before his grip could once again hold the things he hated most a sudden sting flowed through his body. Looking down he saw a shard of glass poke his flesh. The pitched screeches of the nails seemed to lower from this pain. Rose began to cackle with madness from an idea formed.
“I see now it was all so obvious. You were at my side along how could I be so naïve?.” Holding the nails close, removing the shard that prodded him, and shaving his head. Pushing away the dead convict off the table, he readied himself. “To find the cure all I need to do is to. . .” Slowly pushing the nails against his skull “Understand her pain.” One by one he sunk each nail into his skull. Teeth gritted and his body straining under such an invasive and painful procedure although his pseudo blank powers helped reduced the pain somewhat. Stopping only when all the nails made their home in his skull. A laugh of insanity rang out in the messy laboratory.
“No no no! This isn’t enough, my red angel is a PRIMARCH! I need to understand HER PAIN!” Scrambling off the dissection table before grabbing the nails or ripping them off the dead convicts. Crazed laughter rang out into the hallways of the ship with before long someone peeked inside as silence set in.
A simple crewmate looked inside worried for Rose’s sake. “A-are you alright sir?” Speaking meekly as their eyes saw the mess of blood, corpses, glass, and metal all over its interior. Though the true horror wasn’t what was dead but living as they saw a man stumble forward into the flickering light. Cables of varying diameters seemingly jammed into his body. Arms, shoulders, legs, head, and collarbone hosted these cables.
“Oh, I’m just fine.” His hand reached out and rested on their shoulder, his head twitching with a grim smile as if possessed. “Now let’s go find my angel, shall we?”

The Rose has gained its thorns.
(If you made it here, thanks for reading and I hope to post the next part soon.)

I have been on wegovy for 1.5 weeks. I was hoping it would take away my appetite. I still feel hunger pains. What it does for me is make me feel very full after eating a small amount, but then I feel hunger pains again very shortly after. Side effects so far: burping, nausea, headache, dizziness only the day after the first injection, loss of all desire for alcohol, shopping, motivation and slightly depressed. Tried drinking a bottle of wine and didn’t even feel any effects of the alcohol at all. Did more research about dopamine suppression and this seems all normal. Just not happy that I still feel significant hunger pains. What is your experience?

Last week, I had an unbelievable sore throat without coughing. Went to CVS and got some antibiotics, which made things slightly better. Strep diagnosis was negative.
... until Thursday midnight, when I inhaled some of the medication I was taking. I felt like I had something stuck in my throat, so I forced myself to spit it out by coughing really hard. Some stuff got out, and I felt relief, like I could breathe better.
I went to the ER, checked for aspiration pneumonia with an x ray, and all was good.
... however, I might have fucked up something in my throat in the process. Fast forward to today, and now I find it difficult to eat or drink anything. I feel pain if I try talking normally. My voice is hoarse. I also feel slight acid whenever I eat something. But this isn't a "cold" type pain - this feels like injury type pain, right in my throat. I also feel pain when I look up.
Reddit, wtf do I do?

Age 20
Sex male
Height 5’9
Weight 170?
Race: white
Duration of complaint: about 4 days?
Location: united states
Any existing relevant medical issues: i dont think so no
Current medications: Guanfacine
on to the meat now: my chest hurts mainly on left and center, but rarely the right side(i could be wrong maybe it never hurts on the right side?) its never a pain where i have to make a noise because of how much it hurts, but i can definitely tell that it hurts. max time for pain ive had was probably under 2 minutes.
on May 26th: i work a pretty physical job(unloading containers at UPS), and when i got home, i decided to lay on my bed on my chest, and then my body randomly started shaking and my chest started hurting(same amount as in the first paragraph).
granted, i was reading about some stuff that made me worried about my future like a few minutes before that happened, so that could be a cause, but im not sure i was thinking about the worrying stuff when the stuff in the second paragraph happened.
ive also gotten some pain in my back like once(left side).
when i layed down on my back about 1 hour after i got home from UPS today, my chest felt like it had a weight on it(didnt hurt mind you). i got up and i think it was gone maybe idk.
now every time i lay down on my back it feels like i have a weight on my chest maybe? maybe its just my ribs against my muscle/skin? idk. the weight is separate from the pain. the weight does not hurt
i think that weight is just my abdomen getting kinda sucked down when i lay down on my back. i had a tendency to suck it in when i was standing literally ALL THE TIME for over a month.
i also started stressing about trans fat about 5 days ago, so that could be a cause, but idk. i also have sometimes very extreme ocd.
this is as much info as i have.
edit: also, the pain starts and stops on its own

27 female - 5'3 - 175lbs - not a smoker. I got sick over a week ago with presumably covid. Fever, body aches, skin sensitivity, chest pains, laryngitis(still is going on, my larynx is tender to the touch). And a horrible cough that started out dry but has become very productive with copious amounts of thick, green and yellow sputum. Sometimes with streaks of blood if I've been coughing hard enough.
Yesterday I coughed up a couple mouthfuls of a watery substance, no idea what it was. It looked kind of "dirty" for lack of better explanation. The cough is a bit better during the day, nights have been a complete nightmare. I've been laying elevated on a mountain of pillows but it isn't really doing anything at all. Once I settle into bed the coughing starts in and will not stop, I'm usually gasping in between fits. I usually don't fall asleep until daylight and it's only in 1-2 hour stints before I wake up coughing.
As of today I feel like my breathing may be slightly more shallow but I'm honestly not sure if I'm just psyching myself out. I also feel generally more sick again. I'm seeing a ton of conflicting information about how I should treat my symptoms, some say hospital and some say it's normal for covid and to wait it out. I've been doing everything I've been reading, taking cough suppressants/anti-inflammatories, drinking a lot of hot teas, baths/showers, deep breathing.
I don't have health insurance so I've been trying to avoid visiting the hospital, but if I do have pneumonia then I'd rather have it treated then it get worse.

Just needed some advice regarding an incident that had happened while at work.
I live in Kansas and my job requires me to drive around the county fairly often. They provided a fleet of cars. The cars are insured by them.
Today I was driving along with a coworker who was in the passenger seat. I was going south and had stopped to make a left turn into a street. The other side of the street had cars backed in their left lane due to a car wanting to take a left lane as well so my view was obstructed. When I thought it was safe and clear to go, I proceeded with a left turn and was immediately hit by a car going north about 35 to 40 mph. From what I can remember my car felt like it spun multiple times. Two car accident. My airbags went off. The driver of the other car stayed in his car until paramedics came and was taken to the hospital by ambulance. He seemed disoriented. Our car definitely sustained a lot of damage and I believe it will be totaled. As soon as I recovered from the shock I got out the car to check on my coworker who seemed disoriented and in shock still. I had a bystander call the police. Plenty of witnesses to see what happened. Firefighters came first and then EMS and then the police. We declined an ambulance since I told them that we could get a ride to the hospital (I had my GF come and pick us up). I promptly notified administration at work of the accident and the maintenance man was sent out to tow the car and provide insurance information of the car. Administration also had HR send me workers compensation information to fill out. The police took my statement and had me fill out an accident form. I put the company auto insurance down. I was cited for failure to yield to right of way - left turn.
We then went to the hospital to get checked out since my ankle was hurt and my worker seemed to have a concussion. She and I both provided our personal insurance information. They then learned we were on the clock for work and stated it changes things since it’s considered worker’s compensation.
They ran 3 x rays on my ankle and deemed no fractures or dislocation. I do feel a sharp pain when I fully extend it backwards and forwards. I can walk on it but there is a bit of discomfort. My coworker stated her head really hurt and they had her do a CT scan.
When I got home I called to pay the citation and they said there’s no notice to appear and it’s just a fine.
Is there anything thing I need to be aware of since I was considered at fault by the police? How will this affect my insurance? Will I be needing an attorney? Is there anything I should or shouldn’t be doing?

I’ve had so many issues with this tooth I wanna scream. First it was a filling that caused me pain and sensitivity after so it needed a root canal. Got my root canal and then a temp crown. The temp crown fell out 10 days before perm appointment and dentist said it was fine to be out. It was not because when I went for my perm crown it didn’t fit. So had to get another one done and wait 3 more week.
That one fell out a few days before. When I went back new one didn’t fit either. There was some issue with my gums and I needed to have them lasered. Got another temp crown after that and waited another 3 weeks.
Then got my permanent crown finally and all seemed good. I even swished cold water around that week to test it out and no issues. Until this week. Now it’s getting bad cold sensitivity. I know it’s the tooth that got the root canal. This tooth also bleeds on the sides of it when flossing.
For reference: I got my root canal on 2/29 and didn’t have my permanent crown on til 5/9. So 2.5 months in between.

It’s time to beat/reduce your anxiety for good! This is a perfect way to do so and you’re not going to like it at first! But first we need to accept some things and understand some things about anxiety.
1: understand that those physical symptoms and mental symptoms you are feeling is only anxiety. That head pressure, ear ringing, tingling/“hurting” chest, the arm pains, the finger feet and hand tingling, the “blurry vision”, the muscle twitches, the palpitations, the skipped beats, the memory loss or brain fog, the dizziness, nausea, butterflies, unsure feelings, ETC. the list goes on ITS ANXIETY!
2: anxiety’s rating of 1-10 (1 being low 10 being extreme) is majority determined by our reaction
3: anxiety is only adrenaline and worry mixed when it’s not needed therefore it’s sitting idle in your head with no reason or way to exert itself that’s why you get all these physical symptoms
4: anxiety can’t kill you
5: 100% recovery is possible.
You have got to ACCEPT your anxiety.. stop trying to hide from it or make it stop with your tactics. Sit with it. Accept it. Be uncomfortable and let the thoughts flow yes it’s absolutely horrible at first but the more you sit with it and let it eat you up the more your brain starts realizing that there was no threat or bad outcome and that you turned out fine so over time it becomes the norm and doesn’t faze you all the way to the point of it not existing. When those attacks happen say out loud “I accept this anxiety” “do whatever it is you are going to do anxiety” this has brought me to a 99.9% recovery. I had HORRIBLE health anxiety that then made me fear death I went to therapy it helped I took Wellbutrin it helped but they never cured me only numbed it kinda. I started studying every side of anxiety and all of its characteristics and I learned that it’s only fear we have to overcome and be comfortable with.

It’s time to beat/reduce your anxiety for good! This is a perfect way to do so and you’re not going to like it at first! But first we need to accept some things and understand some things about anxiety.
1: understand that those physical symptoms and mental symptoms you are feeling is only anxiety. That head pressure, ear ringing, tingling/“hurting” chest, the arm pains, the finger feet and hand tingling, the “blurry vision”, the muscle twitches, the palpitations, the skipped beats, the memory loss or brain fog, the dizziness, nausea, butterflies, unsure feelings, ETC. the list goes on ITS ANXIETY!
2: anxiety’s rating of 1-10 (1 being low 10 being extreme) is majority determined by our reaction
3: anxiety is only adrenaline and worry mixed when it’s not needed therefore it’s sitting idle in your head with no reason or way to exert itself that’s why you get all these physical symptoms
4: anxiety can’t kill you
5: 100% recovery is possible.
You have got to ACCEPT your anxiety.. stop trying to hide from it or make it stop with your tactics. Sit with it. Accept it. Be uncomfortable and let the thoughts flow yes it’s absolutely horrible at first but the more you sit with it and let it eat you up the more your brain starts realizing that there was no threat or bad outcome and that you turned out fine so over time it becomes the norm and doesn’t faze you all the way to the point of it not existing. When those attacks happen say out loud “I accept this anxiety” “do whatever it is you are going to do anxiety” this has brought me to a 99.9% recovery. I had HORRIBLE health anxiety that then made me fear death I went to therapy it helped I took Wellbutrin it helped but they never cured me only numbed it kinda. I started studying every side of anxiety and all of its characteristics and I learned that it’s only fear we have to overcome and be comfortable with.

Early in the morning to let other birds know they survived the night.
I sing terribly off key, some songs I really feel and I think sound better, some I sing as sarcastically as possible.
Would you laugh at my constant one woman karaoke show or would you snap at me to let the professionals do the singing?
I really thought about it last night. The very first time I thought I was going to die.
Sometime in high school, when playing sports, an incident happened and had I not been wearing my safety gear I probably would have died on the field that day.
I wore a neck guard, a helmet, chest pad and more. The hard plastic ball chipped into the air off a rock with so much force it snapped my neck guard in half and it scratched my neck.
I heard the guard snap, felt the pressure on my neck and saw all white (most likely from holding my breathe), thought I was gonna meet Jesus that split second. I coughed, walked it off and had it in my bag for years as proof of how hard my teammate could crack off a shot.
The sound. I thought it broke my neck and was waiting for the pain to hit. Took me a minute to realize I wasn’t even injured.
Yoi should know I was trying to figure out my feelings on you doubling back, from “I’ll try” to “leave me alone”. That’s when I remembered how I thought for a split second I was about to be in a world of pain, then I realized I was fine.
I’m disappointed, Im a bit confused, and I wish there had been more effort to connect.
Turns out I’m still competitive in my field and did make it to a second round interview this week. And I have an interview for a part time child friendly job I’m kinda excited about on Thursday, I get to bring my girls!
I’m making a lot of changes, evolving and adapting. If you can’t see that, idk.
Did you just plan to be the rebound?
Are you just hoping for an edible arrangement thank you card from the next guy that dates me, since you did help me get to be a bit more stable than when you found me?
I mean, I guess I can do that, if that’s what you wanted to begin with.
Can’t argue with silence, so sometimes I let my strange thoughts fill in the blanks. This is the convulsion I’ve drawn, and maybe some day, you’ll get your fruit basket of appreciation for showing up a time or two when it was key. 🤷🏼‍♀️✌🏻👋🏻