I (15M) have fucked up my life by getting addicted to gaming at around 7 or 8. My mom (54F) and dad (64M) do so much for me and I dont really do much for them. All of this started around 2 years ago, when I got sent to a new, harder school. I slacked off, and got yelled at for it nearly every other day. All I would do is come home and play on my computer. When I got grounded for months on end, I would just continue on my laptop. Around the end of that school year, i got everything back and went back to how I used to, playing games. During the summer, all I did was go to work for 4 days a week then come home and do nothing besides play games. I didnt realize it but it was slowly destroying my mom just being cooped up in my room all day. This continued to about 3 weeks ago, where everything came to a head. I missed a few homework assignments and my mom snapped, screaming at me while I was mid call. I put my PC in the closet for about a week, and took it back out over the long weekend. Instead of studying for my finals, I went outside, and when I did come in and get on, I barely studied and just played games. Tonight things got bad and I realized im messing up my life, destroying my moms mental health, my own mental health and more. My PC is gone again, this time seemingly indefinitely. So thats why I came here, I need help. Just anything at all just please help.
TL;DR: Ive been destroying my and my moms mental health for more then 2 years by me being addicted to gaming, and I need help and advice on what to do.

Noting first that I'm posting this in a few communities because I'd really like a variety of advice, but seeing the recent complaint on here about the inclusion of mental health issues, I did my best to remove that from here.
I'm struggling so much lately as I've finished grad school and started some new jobs. It can't be argued that I'm overworked and underpaid, but I figured I'm starting out at the bottom. The work is entry level for my field, I'm working full time in a sales/marketing job within my interest area, and I'm also a teaching assistant for a community college. Both are WFH which should be nice, but I don't get out and I don't have many friends or time/money to do anything outside of work. I often work from the moment I wake till the moment I sleep.
Again, I try to look at this as a temporary step to get to the career I want, but I'm starting to question my entire plan. Was going to apply for a PhD later this year, I do love talking about my study subject a lot, but I'm terrified of the long term commitment. The original plan was to become a professor, but now I'm worried I won't like it at all if it's even remotely similar to what I do now (non stop computer work, an overwhelming amount of tasks, and advising daft and disrespectful people).
You would think I'd like WFH but staring at a computer screen all day is making me want to die and I feel so disconnected from the world. Nothing interesting happens in my life now. I stay up until 3am scrolling social media content because its the only thing I enjoy doing now. My hobbies feel like a chore or involve my computer, so I never do them.
I've thought about changing career paths, I'm 27 now, but I feel like there is literally nothing I want to do. I feel like a stupid asshole saying that because nobody truly loves working, but full time work has always sent me into a depression spiral like this. Between my ADHD and suspected autism, I get burnt out immediately if I work 40 hours or more a week. I somehow crave both uniqueness and routine. I liked being a student because I still had some free time to go out and do things. But also got extremely stressed because I had no money. I feel like maybe I'd like to be a professional dancer because I love performing and it's been my hobby since childhood, but I live nowhere near any opportunities, can't move, and I know I won't make money with it. I want to have a job that is more active/analog but there aren't many of those anymore.
This overall struggle is starting to interrupt with my work and life tasks and I'm worried it will eventually cripple me so that I can't do work at all. I've told myself I will create healthier routines with breaks but I can't manage to stick to anything and still overwork myself. I either can't start or can't stop. There are too many work and life tasks to do and I'm just so overwhelmed and don't think I'll ever catch up. I don't know what job would remove these feelings or reduce them at the very least.
I feel like even if I abandoned these jobs and changed gears, I would still hate it. I also would feel like a failure because my family doubted the necessity and ROI of my grad degree. I have thoughts about moving back abroad because life is more fun there, but there were tons of aspects to that situation that I hated too, I was even more isolated and I don't think I could find a job there I wouldn't hate either. I'm also stuck here helping my mom out here and she's just getting older. I feel trapped.
I'm sorry this post is so negative, I'm just so burnt out right now. Any advice would hopefully be helpful. thanks

I'm struggling so much lately as I've finished grad school and started some new jobs. It can't be argued that I'm overworked and underpaid, but I figured I'm starting out at the bottom. The work is entry level for my field, I'm working full time in a sales/marketing job within my interest area, and I'm also a teaching assistant for a community college. Both are WFH which should be nice, but I don't get out and I don't have many friends or time/money to do anything outside of work. I often work from the moment I wake till the moment I sleep.
Again, I try to look at this as a temporary step to get to the career I want, but I'm starting to question my entire plan. Was going to apply for a PhD later this year, I do love talking about my study subject a lot, but I'm terrified of the long term commitment. The original plan was to become a professor, but now I'm worried I won't like it at all if it's even remotely similar to what I do now (non stop computer work, an overwhelming amount of tasks, and advising daft and disrespectful people).
You would think I'd like WFH but staring at a computer screen all day is making me want to die and I feel so disconnected from the world. Nothing interesting happens in my life now. I stay up until 3am scrolling social media content because its the only thing I enjoy doing now. My hobbies feel like a chore or involve my computer, so I never do them.
I've thought about changing career paths, I'm 27 now, but I feel like there is literally nothing I want to do. I feel like a stupid asshole saying that because nobody truly loves working, but full time work has always sent me into a depression spiral like this. Between my ADHD and suspected autism, I get burnt out immediately if I work 40 hours or more a week. I somehow crave both uniqueness and routine. I liked being a student because I still had some free time to go out and do things. But also got extremely stressed because I had no money. I feel like maybe I'd like to be a professional dancer because I love performing and it's been my hobby since childhood, but I live nowhere near any opportunities, can't move, and I know I won't make money with it. I want to have a job that is more active/analog but there aren't many of those anymore.
It's getting to the point where my depression and bottomed out dopamine is keeping me from doing anything. It's starting to interrupt with my work and life tasks and I'm worried it will eventually cripple me so that I can't do work at all. I've told myself I will create healthier routines with breaks but I can't manage to stick to anything and still overwork myself. I either can't start or can't stop. There are too many work and life tasks to do and I'm just so overwhelmed and don't think I'll ever catch up. And it doesn't matter if I take my Concerta or not, I'm the same either way and just more irritable on the meds.
I wouldn't say I'm suicidal but I just don't want to do or feel anything anymore. I feel like even if I abandoned these jobs and changed gears, I would still hate it. I also would feel like a failure because my family doubted the necessity and ROI of my grad degree. I have thoughts about moving back abroad because life is more fun there, but there were tons of aspects to that situation that I hated too, I was even more isolated and I don't think I could find a job there I wouldn't hate either. I'm also stuck here helping my mom out here and she's just getting older. I feel trapped.
I'm sorry this post is so negative, I'm just so burnt out and hopeless right now. Almost flaired for empathy but advice would hopefully be helpful. thanks

I'm struggling so much lately as I've finished grad school and started some new jobs. It can't be argued that I'm overworked and underpaid, but I figured I'm starting out at the bottom. The work is entry level for my field, I'm working full time in a sales/marketing job within my interest area, and I'm also a teaching assistant for a community college. Both are WFH which should be nice, but I don't get out and I don't have many friends or time/money to do anything outside of work. I often work from the moment I wake till the moment I sleep.
Again, I try to look at this as a temporary step to get to the career I want, but I'm starting to question my entire plan. Was going to apply for a PhD later this year, I do love talking about my study subject a lot, but I'm terrified of the long term commitment. The original plan was to become a professor, but now I'm worried I won't like it at all if it's even remotely similar to what I do now (non stop computer work, an overwhelming amount of tasks, and advising daft and disrespectful people).
You would think I'd like WFH but staring at a computer screen all day is making me want to die and I feel so disconnected from the world. Nothing interesting happens in my life now. I stay up until 3am scrolling social media content because its the only thing I enjoy doing now. My hobbies feel like a chore or involve my computer, so I never do them.
I've thought about changing career paths, I'm 27 now, but I feel like there is literally nothing I want to do. I feel like a stupid asshole saying that because nobody truly loves working, but full time work has always sent me into a depression spiral like this. Between my ADHD and suspected autism, I get burnt out immediately if I work 40 hours or more a week. I somehow crave both uniqueness and routine. I liked being a student because I still had some free time to go out and do things. But also got extremely stressed because I had no money. I feel like maybe I'd like to be a professional dancer because I love performing and it's been my hobby since childhood, but I live nowhere near any opportunities, can't move, and I know I won't make money with it. I want to have a job that is more active/analog but there aren't many of those anymore.
It's getting to the point where my depression and bottomed out dopamine is keeping me from doing anything. It's starting to interrupt with my work and life tasks and I'm worried it will eventually cripple me so that I can't do work at all. I've told myself I will create healthier routines with breaks but I can't manage to stick to anything and still overwork myself. I either can't start or can't stop. There are too many work and life tasks to do and I'm just so overwhelmed and don't think I'll ever catch up. And it doesn't matter if I take my Concerta or not, I'm the same either way and just more irritable on the meds.
I wouldn't say I'm suicidal but I just don't want to do or feel anything anymore. I feel like even if I abandoned these jobs and changed gears, I would still hate it. I also would feel like a failure because my family doubted the necessity and ROI of my grad degree. I have thoughts about moving back abroad because life is more fun there, but there were tons of aspects to that situation that I hated too, I was even more isolated and I don't think I could find a job there I wouldn't hate either. I'm also stuck here helping my mom out here and she's just getting older. I feel trapped.
I'm sorry this post is so negative, I'm just so burnt out and hopeless right now. Almost flaired as rant or depressing but advice would hopefully be helpful. thanks

I'm struggling so much lately as I've finished grad school and started some new jobs. It can't be argued that I'm overworked and underpaid, but I figured I'm starting out at the bottom. The work is entry level for my field, I'm working full time in a sales/marketing job within my interest area, and I'm also a teaching assistant for a community college. Both are WFH which should be nice, but I don't get out and I don't have many friends or time/money to do anything outside of work. I often work from the moment I wake till the moment I sleep.
Again, I try to look at this as a temporary step to get to the career I want, but I'm starting to question my entire plan. Was going to apply for a PhD later this year, I do love talking about my study subject a lot, but I'm terrified of the long term commitment. The original plan was to become a professor, but now I'm worried I won't like it at all if it's even remotely similar to what I do now (non stop computer work, an overwhelming amount of tasks, and advising daft and disrespectful people).
You would think I'd like WFH but staring at a computer screen all day is making me want to die and I feel so disconnected from the world. Nothing interesting happens in my life now. I stay up until 3am scrolling social media content because its the only thing I enjoy doing now. My hobbies feel like a chore or involve my computer, so I never do them.
I've thought about changing career paths, I'm 27 now, but I feel like there is literally nothing I want to do. I feel like a stupid asshole saying that because nobody truly loves working, but full time work has always sent me into a depression spiral like this. Between my ADHD and suspected autism, I get burnt out immediately if I work 40 hours or more a week. I somehow crave both uniqueness and routine. I liked being a student because I still had some free time to go out and do things. But also got extremely stressed because I had no money. I feel like maybe I'd like to be a professional dancer because I love performing and it's been my hobby since childhood, but I live nowhere near any opportunities, can't move, and I know I won't make money with it. I want to have a job that is more active/analog but there aren't many of those anymore.
It's getting to the point where my depression and bottomed out dopamine is keeping me from doing anything. It's starting to interrupt with my work and life tasks and I'm worried it will eventually cripple me so that I can't do work at all. I've told myself I will create healthier routines with breaks but I can't manage to stick to anything and still overwork myself. I either can't start or can't stop. There are too many work and life tasks to do and I'm just so overwhelmed and don't think I'll ever catch up. And it doesn't matter if I take my Concerta or not, I'm the same either way and just more irritable on the meds.
I wouldn't say I'm suicidal but I just don't want to do or feel anything anymore. I feel like even if I abandoned these jobs and changed gears, I would still hate it. I also would feel like a failure because my family doubted the necessity and ROI of my grad degree. I have thoughts about moving back abroad because life is more fun there, but there were tons of aspects to that situation that I hated too, I was even more isolated and I don't think I could find a job there I wouldn't hate either. I'm also stuck here helping my mom out here and she's just getting older. I feel trapped.
I'm sorry this post is so negative, I'm just so burnt out and hopeless right now. Almost flaired as rant but advice would hopefully be helpful. thanks

These days, when I look at the cover art for old school games especially from the 16-bit era, there is such a jarring difference between the game as depicted on the covebox art and the in-game graphics, it almost feels like false advertising. Even these days, games get criticized when they use footage of scenes that aren't actually in game for advertising, but back in the day, they didn't even bother to pretend - it wasn't in the same universe. How strange it is to modern eyes. Do you feel that it was false advertising back in the day? Did a kid ever open a computer game and get disappointed it looked nothing like the covebox art?

I'm 14 and I don't feel good enough and I need to improve seriously I have friends at school but I feel like the only reason I do is beacause that I'm fat known to be the fat kid I'm not the best at school I have a serious addiction to porn I don't like doing it but I do it everyday I can't control it I try my best at school which I have been improving in some classes my parents tell me I don't try enough my mom tells me that "I'm a dumbass, fucking idiot, she even called me a cocksucker" for some reason I feel so retarded I not really all that good at school I try my best it's not good enough I don't have any female interaction none even wanna look at me even tho I'm not smart I always loved computers and games and I I'm not even good at that anymore if anybody could just help tips pls do.

I'm 14 and I don't feel good enough and I need to improve seriously I have friends at school but I feel like the only reason I do is beacause that I'm fat known to be the fat kid I'm not the best at school I have a serious addiction to porn I don't like doing it but I do it everyday I can't control it I try my best at school which I have been improving in some classes my parents tell me I don't try enough my mom tells me that "I'm a dumbass, fucking idiot, she even called me a cocksucker" for some reason I feel so retarded I not really all that good at school I try my best it's not good enough I don't have any female interaction none even wanna look at me even tho I'm not smart I always loved computers and games and I I'm not even good at that anymore if anybody could just help tips pls do.

It was near the end of high school. I had transferred schools for my senior year. The year things really changed. But that's a story for another time. I remember the incident to an extent but not fully. I remember he was not kind. He was self-centered. He was unsympathetic. I had gone over to his house because there was a showing of our house which had been on the market for a few weeks or months perhaps. But I was laying on my stomach on his bed, working on homework. I didn't want to be there, but I had no where else to go. I told him before I got there that I didn't want to do anything, I was just going to be there until I could go home. He told me to come over and that all that was okay with him. I don't know where my dad was. I just know I didn't have somewhere to go so I went to his house. His mom and sister and nephew lived there too, but I don't remember who was home.
Anyways, I was on his bed working on homework. He was sitting at his computer playing a video game. He came over to the bed and started touching my legs. I was wearing shorts and a T-shirt. I told him I had stuff to do and I wasn't interested. I didn't want to do anything, I wasn't in the mood and I wasn't happy. He straddled me, positioning himself on my thighs. I told him no. I wasn't interested and didn't want to do anything right now. I tried to stay calm. Inside I was panicking and frozen. If I sounded panicked what would happen? would he stop or be encouraged? Would he know he had that power over me? Would be revel in it? So, I stayed calm. He started touching my inner thighs up to my glutes. He was almost systematic with it. I told him no and to stop. He didn't. I tried to turn my body so I could get him off of me (all of my muscle is in my legs and he was holding them down). He started moving my shorts aside...touching me....my underwear was moved next. He seemed almost trance like. Like this was scientific. He was experimenting and learning anatomy but in a way that he had control of. He kept touching me and trying to put his fingers into me, onto me, all over me. I remember I got even more stern and tried to squeeze my legs together so he wouldn't have access to me. I know he stopped. I don't remember how or why.
Days later, I talked to him about it. It was my fault. He thought I was joking. The squirming was just me playing. Me telling him to stop was just me being playful, afterall I "did it all the time". There's a difference when someone is making out with you when y'all should be doing something else (ie homework) and says we should really be doing something else, but they are willing participants and initiants. When you jump on someone and they've said they're not interested, they don't want this, you should stop and get off all in a serious tone and without any participation, that's not the same. That's a hard stop. That's not a fun ohhh we're being so naughtyyyy stop.
I didn't realize what it was. I didn't call it assault or unwarranted. He was just a guy doing dumb stuff. I told a friend about it and she's the one that looked at me with discomfort. Getting into college we had to take surveys where sexual assault was defined, and I sent it to her. It fit. The first of many.

Hey everyone on Reddit! We've been searching online for the best crypto casinos that welcome players from all over the world, and we can't wait to tell you what we've found.
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CryptoWins - the best choice for High Rollers and US players.

CryptoWins Casino is a special place where online gaming meets cryptocurrency. In this review, we'll explore what makes CryptoWins stand out in the world of online casinos.
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BіtStаrz - АskGаmblers awards 2023. Fast games and high odds.

Bіtstаrz is one of the oldest and most popular Bitcoin casinos. In this article, I'll tell you about the games it offers, bonuses, licensing, and its pros and cons. Check it out to learn more. If you want to compare Bіtstаrz with other crypto casinos, you can do that too.
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Bіtstаrz is a highly respected and licensed Bitcoin casino. It uses a special method to make sure its games are fair for both the casino and the players. They offer over 2800 games and various bonuses like free spins and a 100% deposit bonus (or 150% for 99Bitcoins readers).
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From Bіtstаrz Review - READ THIS Before You Play (2024 Updated)
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The casino is owned and operated by Direx N.V., which also runs other online casinos. It's registered under the laws of Curacao. The Direx N.V. master gambling license has the registration number 131879 and is registered at Heelsumstraat 51 E-Commerce Park, Curacao.
When it comes to Bіtstаrz terms of service, it's important to read them carefully. If you break the rules, even accidentally, Bіtstаrz might not give you your winnings and could freeze your account. One key rule is that only one account is allowed per household, IP address, or computer. If you try to open more than one account, they might block or close them, and any bets or winnings could be canceled.
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The fees vary depending on the currency you use. You can deposit, withdraw, and play with both cryptocurrency and regular money.
If you play with Bitcoin or other cryptocurrencies, there are usually no fees for deposits or withdrawals. It's quick and easy to deposit Bitcoin by scanning your account's QR code from your personal wallet.
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Bіtstаrz gives out several bonuses, like a 100% bonus on your first deposit and 180 free spins. They also offer bonuses of 75%, 50%, and 25% for your next three deposits. Plus, when you sign up, you get 20 free spins without having to deposit any money, which is pretty cool.
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Bіtstаrz offers over 2800 casino games, including slots and table games. There are tons of slot games to choose from, like Dragon’s Element, Fire Lightning, and Elvis Frog in Vegas. I spent a while playing Elvis Frog in Vegas; the gameplay is easy, and you can start spinning in no time.
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Bіtstаrz is available in many countries, but there are some where it's not allowed due to local laws. These countries include the United States, United Kingdom, Spain, France, and others.

Kаtsubеt - the best Live dealer games.

KаtsuBеt Review Summary
KаtsuBеt is an online casino with an Asian theme. It's operated by one of the big players in the online casino industry. They're licensed and accept cryptocurrencies. KаtsuBеt offers over 7,000 games from top developers, and many of their games are provably fair.
KаtsuBеt is an online casino that's cool with cryptocurrency, started in 2020 by Dama N.V., a company that owns other big online casinos like Wildtornado. They've got a whopping 7,000 games including slots, jackpot, table, live dealer, and BTC games. All their games are from top-notch developers, so you can trust they're fair.
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(Yes I am using a throwaway acct bc I don't want people to harass me on my main lmao.)
So basically, there's this one ktuber I used to look up to a lot: vixxo. I loved her videos, and would follow her on twt, always stay tuned for her lives, etc. but recently (well for the past year) she's done a lot of things that hadn't sit right with me and I'm really disappointed bc I used to look up to her so much. I don't really know how to deal w all this. I already unfollowed her and blocked her on all platforms but since I used to be so obsessed w her content it's rlly hard not to check back in sometimes, and what I noticed is everyone constantly kisses her ass and acts like "the only reason people hate you is because they can't handle critical opinions about their faves" and it feels very invalidating.
Here's a list of things she's done I dislike. Honestly I know some of these things aren't that bad but I just wanted to talk about everything that made me stop liking her. - she just has a very self centered attitude in general. she’s very smug and seems to think she can never be wrong. whenever someone has a positive opinion on a song she dislikes, she implies that they’re forcing themselves to like it. - one example of this: once some guy named berts bayou said that get up (nwjns) was the only kpop ep he liked. then there was a hit tweet quoting him saying “the reason why it’s the only ep you can listen through is bc it’s 12 minutes and your attention span is too low for anything else” or something like that. vixxo replied to that qrt calling it “fucking hilarious” and i just find it so ironic bc she constantly whines about how people don’t respect her opinions, but she can’t respect others. - her account is just a constant cesspool of negativity and it gets rlly tiring after a while. she’s always complaining about how music has gone downhill, there’s no real vocalists in kpop anymore, etc. and yeah ig she can post what she wants but it’s just tiring like girl nobody is forcing you to consume newer kpop. (again it’s ironic bc whenever someone rightfully complains about a hate train their fav group is going thru she’s like “idc i have no sympathy ur responsible for what u consume” ok then that means it’s ur choice to consume newer kpop and u don’t need to shit on it every 2 seconds. also again she has complained about hate trains HER faves went through so it just feels hypocritical) - she has some kinda weird views? like she said it’s “definitely not” okay for a 17 yo and an 18 yo to date each other even if they’re both in high school. like girl be so fr 😭😭 - she talked shit about a bunch of other ktubers when she was 19 and the other ktubers were like 13. like im sorry that’s pathetic behavior 😭 how you an adult and bullying people who just became teenagers like. she was also extremely xenophobic towards them, mocking the way they phrased things and how their voices sounded when english wasn’t even their first language. tbf she did apologize, but she also deflects and victimizes herself every time it’s brought up instead of just admitting she did wrong and people have a right to not want to support her after what she did, especially if they’ve had to deal w xenophobia in their personal lives. she also stays friends with someone who also participated in talking shit about those ktubers and even blocked the victims, AND i saw her initial responses to the victims and they were gaslighty af. “let’s just all do the mature thing and move on” girl what do you mean “let’s” when you were the one who started it and who do you think you are telling literal children they’re being immature for rightfully feeling betrayed. - she cannot ever admit she is/was wrong. one example is the garam situation. basically she wasn’t on garams side (which i think is understandable at first bc it did seem like the evidence was against her) but she also acted like she was a terrible, irredeemable person (ironic asf bc like i said it’s not like vixxo has never bullied anyone before) and referred to her supporters as “followers who cannot construct an original thought”. then when it came out that garam was the victim and was just defending her friend from sexual harassment, vixxo never apologized even though she said she would if garam was proved innocent. when someone brought it up she was like “im not gonna apologize for supporting the victim lol check yourself?” like no you need to apologize for hating on an innocent minor eventually causing her to lose her career, and defending a sexual predator. - she also constantly complained about how garam stans brought her up to praise her after she left lsf, but meanwhile she brought her up even after she left the group to HATE ON HER. she stated that she had “sinister energy” (very weird to say about a minor ESPECIALLY when you’re an adult) and made a tweet about “i cant believe hybe made garam the center when chaewon was in the group”. this was all after garam left the group btw, it’s giving obsessed. if you’re going to drag an innocent girl even after she stopped being an idol, don’t get mad when people support her after she left lesserafim. - when moonbin and sua performed my ear candy together, she commented about how it was “weird” and “creepy” for siblings to perform that song together. then after 4/19/23, she rted a tweet talking about how the performance was so cute. like girl maybe apologize and hold yourself accountable instead of being fake? - she claims to be a “girls girl” but has done many things proving the opposite. for example when illits final lineup was announced, she liked and rted a tweet calling them “r u rigged” and “I’ll-flop”. she also once said something like “no 16 year old except boa and britney has ever slayed hard enough to be called mother” like why are you putting down 16 year old girls if you’re a girls girl? also it’s just pathetic bc she was like 21 when she said that - she supported addison rae (a tiktok influencesinger with a long history of antiblack racism) even after KNOWING about her actions. and i don’t just mean listening to her music, i mean actively supporting, calling her mothecunty, responding “teehee <333” to a comment that said “laurve you being a low key addison rae stan”, and rting her new years eve post. she eventually unstanned her (for a very good reason, idk if im allowed to say why tho) but it just hurts that she didn’t think antiblackness was a big enough dealbreaker. (she’s white btw lmao) - she went along w the nwjns eta conspiracy theory despite the fact that it’s literally based on right wing propaganda?? also it’s just really stupid in general so idk how vixxo sees herself as some great critical thinker when she goes along w whatever people say just to hate on a group. even though this narrative literally feeds into the oppression of basque people, she doesn’t care - once some guy posted about margot robbie in i, tonya and said something like “i always find it so amazing how actors basically have to become just as good as the profession they’re playing” and vixxo responded very rudely like “open up the schools… you don’t know what a stunt double is?” like no girl, not everyone is as smart and educated on film as you are 😱😱 you could’ve just explained instead of being unnecessarily rude. someone pointed out in her retrospring that it wasn’t that serious for her to be rude and she, again, responded rudely, saying something like “he’s literally spreading misinformation” acting like he had some malicious intent. and idk i could be overthinking but the whole incident felt very racially motivated imo (the guy who made the original post was black, vixxo like i said is white). idk it just feels like a white person who doesn’t see black people as worthy of respect so when a black guy gets something wrong, her immediate response is to be hostile and act like he has bad intentions / is purposefully trying to spread misinformation rather than correcting him in a respectful way. like i said i could be overthinking but the way she treated him definitely felt at least slightly racist. she probably didn’t intend to but that’s how it came off - she made a video about problems in ktube where she talked about nonblack people using aave. during it, she provided a list of commonly used aave terms and said something like “ive used these terms before im sorry and ill never use them again” which would be fine… except for the fact that she used some of those terms again (ex. slay) AFTER making that video. tbh im so used to nonblacks using (or misusing) aave so im not even mad at her for that, im more mad at the fact that she KNEW it was wrong and did it anyway. just feels v performative - she constantly encourages her viewers to have a parasocial relationship with her (which is weird bc she’s not a celebrity) by referring to them unironically as vixxonators, responding stuff like “teehee i love this <33” whenever someone admits to having a parasocial relationship with her, etc. but whenever someone criticizes her she pulls the “some of you guys expect too much from me im not media trained nor do i wish to become a celebrity” card. like you can’t encourage people to have a parasocial relationship with you but then complain about it ad soon as you’re criticized for your actions. also you don’t have to have a parasocial relationship with someone to criticize them - I think there’s a few more things but ive already written a lot so that’s all for now
So yeah. Like I said idrk how to deal w these feelings. It almost feels like she betrayed me, and I know this is a dumb/delusional view to have, but it just sucks bc I used to look up to her sm. Feel free to comment advice, tell me what you think of her actions , validate me, invalidate me, etc.

I need advice 9-1-1 I (f45) and my partner (m43) met 19 yrs ago through a mutual friend. It was love at first sight and we started talking and we both fell head over hills and decided to move in together since we couldn’t be apart for more than a week. We finally made the move and moved in together. He had a descent job and I was on the hunt for any kind of job. Since I had 2 daughters 9 and 5 at the time. He had 3 children m7 f5 and m of literally months. At the beginning it was bumpy but any new relationship is. It took about 10 yrs for our family to finally cope in between his family his ex and me with my daughters. A month into me moving with him 3 hrs away from my family he was laid off his job I had been looking for a job since day one so finally one day I found a job as a waitress working graveyard at a restaurant at a not safe area. I struggled since the biological father of my daughters cut ties after I moved he came to visit once or twice and then he vanished. We struggled financially for a long time. I was new on the online job search thing but I suggested he posted on Craigslist his painting since he’s a magnificent painter. It was a hit it. It went too good I left my job to help with the driving since it was mostly out of town. I got too bored that I asked to help him so it wouldn’t take too long. Our days were 10 hr days we did the murals for about 8 or 9 yrs. We argued constantly over simple things. So I told him I love him but I couldn’t do it any more. I started working from home doing clothing alterations it didn’t pay a lot but it helped. He then open a business selling and repairing video games and consoles it did good for a few yrs and he started an apprenticeship at a tattoo shop. He is very creating smart and extremely talented. I then started helping a friends mom doing alterations at her bridal shop that was next to an embroidery place that actually shared a room and the stomps of the machines hypnotized. As soon as there was a chance I got the opportunity to work there as well. I’ve been jumping from job to job to help with the expenses of the house and the shop my partner still owned. At his apprenticeship he had a slip and was fooling around with this other female it ended. He finally decided to close ip his shop bc it just wasn’t working. When he finished his apprenticeship he went on and decided to open his own shop. He got his keys December 2019. Most expenses fell on me since he had no income at the time. He was working very hard to get the place standing it was a mess he demolished painted installed plumbing electric the whole 9 yards. He opened his doors June 2020. We couldn’t be any happier. He is also a musician so he would get gigs all the time. I have to mention I was doing the house work the kids rides the cooking and when he needed me I was there all while I had 2 jobs I would take the kids to and from school and drop off my step kids too (I hate the word step kids) they’re my children too. Any how September 2020 he got this new gig job and by October same yr he didn’t want me to go see him play when he was blocks from home. He started acting weird like dressing differently and caring about his looks I had my suspicions but he would always tell me it was just in my head. I could see his call logs and I found out who he was talking to it was the lead singer of this new band. I confronted him and he said I was crazy. Ok. I kept seeing weird behaviors and talked to him about it since we are not legally married I offered to open a relationship since it would be months at a time w/o intimacy he said no cause nothing was happening. There were times he would take my car on a Sunday nights and act mad so he won’t come home. He ever told me once he couldn’t remember where he parked my car so he left it 2 hrs out of town which caused me to call off work many times. I was loosing my mind I knew something was wrong and I did everything to fix the situation. I decided to place a tracker in my car so he won’t have to strand it again. Next weened he took my car again and left it by the airport all night. I confronted him with pics of my car where he had left it and he admitted he carpooled with this other female that is married should I add. FF to may 17 2022 I got a hold of all his ig user names and passwords, he was talking to at least 6 females but I didn’t confronted him this time that day I had a terrible migraine and was feeling aweful I needed to rest my head and be calm so I went home he rejected me as if I was a piece of trash I sat up and told him it felt like he didn’t want to be with me so I asked him to leave he got up and he left. Right away he started dating this scumbag not the singer but this other person. He had a dinner date may 18th with a 26 yo and on and on. All in a span of 2 months after he left my home. We started talking again and we were fine I told him everything I felt and how much he had hurt me he told me I didn’t deserved that and no I don’t. When he moved out and finished fooling around he got this god and I loved her she was the sweetest dog. After my second job I would go to his place and puppy sat for him he would help me financially when I needed and things were working out it was like we were dating. September 2023 we got into a huge argument and things were bad I went zero contact for a month and it was bad. Until. He had one of his panic attacks and called me to take him to the er so did I saw the dog again and things were calm for over a month. By December same yr he gave me a check I couldn’t cash, on the 23rd I went to his place to return the check and give him his Xmas gift it was a large print of his dog on a makeup trip we did in march it wasn’t much but it was with so much love. He didn’t let me in to see the dog he said I was not welcomed he opened his door about an inch and the dog came out running to me. He called the cops on me I explained the situation and they talked ti us individually. I left and had Xmas eve with my children. I forgot to mention that my youngest f22 and his daughter f21 are currently living with me. Xmas day I was home alone and he calls me I pick up and it was him he was stressed he said that his dog was acting weird since Saturday she couldn’t bark she tried but was just wizzing we rushed her to a hospital 2 hrs away we came back without her she didn’t make it on our way back he told me that the day he called the cops on me she ran to his room sat in a corner and just looked down. He spend the rest of the week in my place I didn’t know what to do but be by him and help him. He decided to get another dog he just turned a yr I love that dog too. I’ve spent the night at his house every other night to help with the puppy while he works. I still had 2 jobs and his place is about 20 mins from mine. About 3 months ago he asked me to lend him some cash so he can get a car to play with so I did. 2 weeks ago my sister invited me to celebrate my nieces graduation and I asked him if our youngest had a date for his and he said no so I told my sister I was attending. Last Wednesday my kid told me he had a ceremony ticket for him and another one for me I arranged as crazy as it sounds to ask for Thursday off to drop off my daughter to my sisters which is 3 hrs away saw my mother for 20 or 25 mins and started my drive back because on Thursdays we take his dog to the street fair so by 1 pm I was back in town I took a quick nap and started getting ready for the fair. He calls me at 7 pm to ask if everything was ready I said yes I’m just getting his cooler ready we take ahi’s bowl a portion of kibble ice packs snacks and a spray bottle. I couldn’t find the spray bottle. I went to my car to check if it was there and I saw him pulling up in his truck I asked if he could come over and kept looking I check again and he walks right inside so I closed up and went in with him I told him I can’t find the spray bottle and he lost it he was cussing out the spray bottle and I was in shock I mean dollar tree has them we can replace it but he was mad at the bottle. He had been doing this same thing for 3 weeks he looses it and he goes into his bedroom extremely upset last time he was like that I let him know I can’t do these kinds of arguments they’re ridiculous. I told him I needed to go home with my dogs and I left. We have a mutual friend that has a dog like ours and that night he posted a pic of both dogs and the lost spray bottle was hanging from the side pocket of the wagon. I texted him Sunday so I could go see the dog and he said ok I spent an hr with I walked him and ate snacks then I left I called him yesterday and he said he had 2 walk ins so I visited the dog for 2 hrs walked him played with him and ate snacks. We both as an agreement we talked about me quitting my second job and puppy sit and he’d pay me what my second job did and so he can get hands on on his shop it’d be a win win it’s been very slow like scary slow and he needs to build his portfolio so we all happy. I talked to him about a bill I owe is 1200 and he said we’ll figure it out well it’s due today since things aren’t smooth I texted him and asked him to please call me he said about what I said about the dog and other things he asked is something wrong with the dog I said not really but we need to talk and he said there’s nothing to talk about I send him a pic of the bill and it’s due date which is today and he said not my problem ask for a loan or something. He owes me 2k I was trying to figure out how we can still help each other and he told me I was harassing him and that I can’t come see the dog and he will get a restraining order. I know his financial situation isn’t good but neither is mine he blocked me again. I know he’s a narcissist and very self centered. His actions don’t have an affect on me but the dog does I’m afraid something would happen to the dog like it did to the other one. I can’t say I don’t care about the money but I barely make ends meet for myself nor can I say I hate him I want him to be ok and succeed like I should too. I know it’s toxic that is why I left. I sent that payment today on time but now I will be behind on all my bills including my rent and car payment. I don’t want to go to his house I don’t know what I did wrong. All I’ve done is is be by his side when no one is he has literally no true friends and he’s not close to his children on his son graduation I was there there was his grandma his stepdad his biological mom me sitting next to her my stepdaughter her boyfriend and then him who got there 30 min late and on the phone for most of the ceremony.

Hey there!
I’m a 24-year-old woman and I've never been in a “real” relationship. I’m not unattractive. I’m 6’1”, curvy, brunette, and I care about my appearance. People often say I look like a main character with my styling and dressing.
Background information: (Bear with me, you’ll see where I‘m going with this ...)
When I was 13, I met someone online (he was also 13), and we started dating. At school, I was getting bullied, and my “online” ex was my escape, my safe space. I never told him about the bullying because I wanted to enjoy our time together and keep it positive. I loved him, but after 6 years together and meeting once, we grew apart.
In 2021, I had bariatric surgery and lost 130 lbs (60 kg). I gained a lot of confidence and self-esteem.
Three years ago, I started dating someone I met in GTA V RolePlay (he was 25 at that time and I was 21). We spent nights talking , playing games, would motivate each other to go out for walks or hit the gym, shared playlists to listen to the same songs at the same time (while me liking every single song that he chose even though it’s not my taste but because knew he liked it so I loved it even more uncontrollably), watched movies and series while on calls playing and pausing at the same moments
Would look up at the moon at the same time remembering we’re looking at the same moon and hundreds of miles basically can’t separate us, no distance is so far, no time is so long, believing our two hearts were meant for each other
But there were some not-so-pretty aspects of our relationship.
He’d throw tantrums, accuse me of cheating and lying, and try to control my life. He’d contact people around me and in the game to find out “lies,” bring up the past to make me feel guilty, and project his behavior onto me. I always tried to fix it and explain myself but the problems got even worse overtime. (Btw: Been to his city where he lives and wanted to say hi, turns out he‘s never lived there, or another instance: He‘d send old pictures claiming he was at Coachella and his friend uploaded the same pic on facebook on which they tagged the location, they were on another small festival in the UK and definitely not Coachella) I guess he‘d even lie about small things expecting me to be the same as him.
I've been in therapy for three years now. I started therapy to fix myself in order for our relationship to work. After six months of dating, endless calls, and never meeting in person, we broke up.
The idea of him, us, and our future was too beautiful to let go, and I lost it after.
Also, my dad has always been emotionally unavailable, and my mom overly protective. My siblings and I were her therapists from a very young age.
My therapist is a genius. Through many sessions, they helped me realize that love was what saved my life back then and that I’m always seeking love to fill a void (that‘s why I have him the chance to manipulate me). They emphasized the need for self-love instead of seeking validation from others.
I know it’s trauma, but how?
I lost my virginity after the last break up. I’ve tried dating again. I kinda realized most of them define me by my looks, by my curves and wanting just sex. I feel like most of them can‘t imagine a relationship with me beyond that. Like I‘m not good enough for a relationship. I’ve experienced men talking to me in different stages, until we end up having sex, and from that moment on they would only call me when they feel down bad.
Now, I’m ready for a real relationship. I’m ready to fall in love again, for the honeymoon phase, for that limerence. But it just doesn’t happen when I meet someone. I get the ick so fast. I don’t feel a spark or motivation to reply, and I can’t let things evolve.
I’ve asked myself... Do I miss my ex? I thought I did until he messaged me after his breakup, and I realized I don’t miss him at all (even ghosted him lol). I’m cool with both my exes.
I also asked... Is it because I haven’t met the one yet? Or do I need someone to chase me to develop interest? I thought the right person would come someday. But even when someone treats me right, giving me the attention I need and actually chasing me, it’s the same situation after a few weeks.
I recently got diagnosed with ADHD and BPD. I don’t think they’re stopping me because it worked with both my exes.
So what is it? I want to love again. Why is my unconscious blocking it?
I’m not pressuring to find that one person. But I’m desperate, feeling like I can never love like I did before, losing hope that I’ll ever be capable of being in a relationship.
What do you think about this situation? Have you ever been in a similar situation? I‘m still continuing therapy btw. Things take time. This topic is pretty much complex and I guess reading from people who can relate is a form of therapy as well. Do you have any suggestions?
Thanks for bearing with me, guys. Thanks for reading and taking the time. I truly appreciate it.

Number One: My Brother
There were plenty of times when I was growing up that my older brother would try to scare me. When I was really young, he was somewhat successful with it. But of course, when someone tries scaring you over and over again, you normally get used to it. Then it doesn’t scare you very much.
As we all got older, things changed quite a bit. He wasn’t getting the reactions from me that he previously had been, so he wasn’t scaring me as much. It was kind of a good feeling, you know, feeling that you have defeated your older brother when he was just trying to torment you. But also, I soon began forgetting that he was ever doing things like that to me.
When he was 17, he stopped hanging out at home very often. We assumed he was just out with his friends all the time. But he really had grown distant from everyone else in the family. He would rarely show up for meals. If he did, he would take his food and eat it away from everyone else.
My parents didn’t really think much of the change in my brother’s behavior. They insisted that teenagers all go through things like that. So I took them at their word and didn’t assume that they had anything to worry about.
I was home once after school and I was the only one there. My parents both worked a lot of hours and this was pretty common. My brother wasn’t home either so it was only me there. So, I set about trying to decide what I was going to have for dinner.
I remember this day for many reasons, but the first being that it was very windy outside. So I was hearing a lot of noises from outside. Also, the house was pretty old so it was making a lot of creaking noises.
What bugged me the most though was how sometimes our screen door in the kitchen would become unlatched on those windy days. When that happened, the win would cause the door to bang open and bang closed. And unless you went and put the hook lock onto it, it would keep doing this.
So, I went and made sure that the screen door was secured after hearing it bang several times in the wind. And then I went and I tried to finish making myself something to eat. Once I was done, I went into the living room and I tried to watch some television while I ate.
It wasn’t long until I heard what sounded like the door had gotten loose again. Since I used the hook lock, I wasn’t sure what it could have been. But if the door got torn of its hinges, it would have made things a lot worse. So I got up and went back in the kitchen, annoyed, to go and secure the door once again.
However, the door wasn’t open. My older brother was at the back door. And he was banging on the screen door for some reason. He was complaining about the door being locked and told me that I had to open it for him.
I asked him why he didn’t just come in through the front door like everyone did. The question seemed to just make him angry, however. He began pounding on the door harder and telling me to just open the damn door.
I went over to open the door, but the look on his face got me to stop. I wasn’t sure what it was, but there was just something in his eyes that I didn’t recognize. I am not sure how else to put it, but it didn’t seem like I was looking at my brother. There was some vacant, other person behind those eyes.
My pause made my brother pound on the door harder and I could tell that he was really pissed off. I thought he was trying to scare me for only a second because I wasn’t sure what to think about what was going on. He began then pulling the screen out of the screen door in order to get to the lock I couldn’t imagine he would ever be stupid enough to deliberately destroy part of the house; my parents would have killed him.
He started yelling at me, threatening all sorts of things to do to me once he got into the house. I was about to run off, but I didn’t because part of me still thought he was just trying to scare me, albeit that part was really small.
When he got through the door, though, he didn’t stop anything. He went right over to a knife block and that was when I turned and ran. I went quickly up to my stairs and into my bedroom, locking the door behind me.
We lived in an old house with some good, solid doors. There was no way my brother was going to break through them. However, he did pound on the door and yell and scream at me for a while, demanding that I open the door. However, a while later, he gave up and everything went quiet.
I didn’t come out of my room until my parents got home. They had found my brother, sitting in the bathtub upstairs, shivering; the kitchen knife beside him. He claimed to not really know what was going on and my parents were confused. I relayed the whole story to them and he seemed to sincerely have no memory of what happened.
So, it seemed my brother had a psychotic break down or a fugue state or something like that. I believe the last one is what the doctor said. But to this day, he denies that he ever faked what happened as a practical joke. He had admitted to every joke beforehand so I have no reason not to believe him. I have no idea what would have happened if I hadn’t gotten to my room.

Number Two: Bullies
I moved around a whole lot when I was growing up. I have lived in the city, in the country and the suburbs. I moved so much that I really didn’t get to know a lot of kids my age very well while I was growing up. And after having this be the case for a long period of time, I stopped trying to make friends when I reached a certain age. It didn’t seem worth it if my family would just pack up and move a few months after I had made a friend.
There was a period of time where we moved out to this house out in the country. It was a poorer area, I guess, where the only houses you came across were mobile homes. I never tried to make any friends with the kids who might have lived there, though. I also didn’t really make friends at school.
I don’t know what it was about this area, but for some reason it was the only time in my life where I was bullied. I think it might have been because I kept to myself and did well in school, instead of playing football during recess. But whatever it was, the bullies were real jackasses and caused me a lot of Hell for the year when we were there. Weekends and school vacations were my favorite times because it was the only times I could get away from the bullies at school and the teachers never did anything to make the bullying stop either.
This happened during a weekend in the fall. I remember because I was out wearing a jacket and taking a walk. I tried to go out for walks whenever I could on days home, because it felt good to get out of the house for a while. So, I was heading down a gravel road, just strolling along and lost in my own thoughts.
It was after a while, I heard some sounds coming off ahead of me and to the side of the road. I was curious to see what was going on, so I walked up to the area and noticed that there was a fenced off field in that area. It sounded like there were some people off doing something and I began to wonder why. However, I wasn’t curious enough to try and find out.
It was pretty suddenly though that someone approached me on the side of the road. I was surprised to have seen it, because I hadn’t noticed anyone else out there. Plus, I was really afraid to see it was a kid name John, who was one of the bullies who bugged me at school.
John made some comments at me but none of them were mean. In fact, he had heard the noises out in the field too and was wondering what they were. John asked me if I was curious and wanted to go see what was going on.
I wasn’t sure how to feel. I mean, part of me thought that this bully might have been warming up to me. But another part of me definitely didn’t want to go with him walking in a field.
In the end, I decided to go with him because I was mostly afraid that he might beat me up if I didn’t go with him.
After walking for a while, we finally noticed a few other guys up in front of us. It didn’t take long for me to recognize them also for school. I was a bit scared when I noticed that they were guys who normally hung out with John and tormented me. That probably meant that he had known they were out there all along and was meeting up with them.
I wanted to turn around and go back to the road, but I couldn’t force myself to do it. Besides, if those four kids wanted to catch me, they easily could and beat the crap out of me. I didn’t want that so I just decided to try to not seem scared. Perhaps they would respect me that way and let me take part in what they were doing.
But as we got closer to them, I realized that they had rifles and were shooting at things. At first I assumed they were pellet guns, but they were actually rifles. And I found myself even more wanted to get away as quickly as I could.
John asked me if I wanted to fire one of the rifles. I definitely did not and told him that was okay. I didn’t want to take any of their fun away from them. So, I would just watch them if that was all right.
“Oh I have a better idea,” John laughed with his friends. “How about we use you for the target? Now that would be really fun.”
Of course those words scared the hell out of me. These were bullies that I knew were not scared to get physical with someone. It wouldn’t surprise me if they were willing to shoot me either.
There were only two rifles amongst the four boys and they both pointed them at me. I tried to tell myself that they wouldn’t be stupid enough to try and shoot me. If they did, they would get into a lot of trouble. But I had no idea whether that was true or not.
“Well that’s not what I thought would be fun,” John told his friends. “I mean we could just shoot at anything you know. We could shoot at trees, bushes, rocks. But what would be really fun would be a moving target.”
All the boys laughed and I just got even more scared. Now, I didn’t want to run because that would give the boys what they wanted. But I didn’t want to stand there either. I am probably pretty lucky that I didn’t wet myself at some point.”
“Well run,” John urged me. “It would be a lot harder to shoot you if you’re running that if you’re just standing there like a dumbass.”
I still didn’t move. I was too terrified to do anything.
“Run!” John yelled and he sort of lunged at me.
That was enough to scare me enough to get me running. So, I took off and began running. I began telling myself again that they were just trying to scare me. But no sooner did I think that then I heard a gunshot.
I was so startled by the gunshot that I tripped and fell on the ground. I hadn’t been hit by anything, but that didn’t mean that they hadn’t been trying to hit me. So, I got back and began running again. It wasn’t too long before I heard another gunshot. It was followed by another and another and each time, I kept expecting the gunshot to hit me. I couldn’t even be relieved when they didn’t hit me because I was too terrified.
I made it to the fence and I jumped back over it. Getting on the gravel road, I kept running and I didn’t stop running until I got home. I was out of breath and in pain, but I hadn’t been shot and I was glad about that.
Here is the part that might get you though. I didn’t tell anyone about what happened right away. I was too scared about what the bullies might do to me if I got them in trouble. So I kept it to myself and didn’t tell anyone until years after we moved away from there.
I really don’t know how much trouble they would have gotten into anyway. They would have just denied it and I have found the parents of bullies rarely discipline their children for bullying.

Number Three: The Tunnel
I can’t say that I was bullied much when I was growing up. Rather than being unpopular, I was just the sort of kid that everyone ignored. If people talked about me or had any strange impressions of me, I definitely never knew about it. I spent a lot of time by myself.
However, I wasn’t one of those people who liked spending a lot of time by themselves. I would often try to insert myself into a conversation or to join up on a ball game if extra players were needed. I wanted to get along with people and to have those interactions, but it was normally always a bust. I just had a problem making friends. But that didn’t keep me from trying to.
So one day I was walking home from school. I had a pretty long walk as I lived out of town but still close enough that the district did not provide a bus for me. I didn’t mind the walk, though, as I had been doing it all of my life and it gave me time to think.
When I was walking by a field, I noticed a bunch of kids from high school that I knew walking off in the field. So, my curiosity got the better of me and I decided I would follow them to see what they were doing. This might seem strange to you and it certainly does to me now, but recall that this was something that I did very often.
The kids all had a pretty big start on me so it would take me a while to catch up with them. However, when I did eventually catch with them, they were hanging out and smoking pot. They noticed me and actually invited me over. They didn’t seem worried that I would narc on them or anything and even offered me to smoke with them. I had never done that before but I wanted them to like me so I did. Of course as many first time pot smokers out there will tell you, the first time can be the roughest. Much to the amusement of the other guys, I was coughing my lungs out for quite a while afterward.
After hanging out for a little while-and I hadn’t done much talking really, just listening- one of the guys told us that he had an idea. There was an old tunnel under an old road that had been closed down for years and they thought it would be cool to check it out.
I was all for it and I walked with the guys for a while until we came to this tunnel. It wasn’t long and I am sure you have seen this sort of things before. I could definitely see to the other side of it. Still, it had a sort of creepy vibe to it. You couldn’t see the dirt road that ran over the tunnel anymore because it had completely grown over. Plus there were tons of trees and bushes grown up over everything.
One of the boys noticed something. It looked like, on the far end, that there was a human body laying in the tunnel. After he pointed it out, I noticed it too. However, I didn’t get a bit curious about it like the other guys did. It freaked me out and I wanted to just get away from it, but there was no way that I could tell them that.
The guys then began daring me to go and check it out. This scared me, of course, because I really didn’t want to do it. But I also wanted them to like me so after they prodded me for a little while, I decided to go ahead and do it.
The tunnel seemed kind of dank, but it wasn’t wet or anything. It was just unpleasant walking in it, especially knowing that I might be approaching a dead body. I walked as slowly as I could, trying to draw this out as long as possible. Seems silly in retrospect, I know. Most people would want to get it over with as quickly as possible.
As I got closer to the figure in the tunnel, I could see him a lot better. It didn’t look like he was breathing either. This scared me but I also kept thinking about how cool the guys would think I was if I had approached a dead body. So I kept creeping closer.
Right when I had gotten next to the body, I heard this loud clanging, echoing noise ring out across the tunnel. I turned behind to look and see what it was but my attention was drawn back to the body when it tried to grab me.
I stumbled backwards and fell over. I watched the body get up to my horror. I could hear the guys laughing but I wasn’t concentrated on that. I was concentrated on the scary figure in front of me that was suddenly yelling at me and coming toward me.
I got up and began running out of the tunnel. I couldn’t even tell you what the figure was yelling at me as I ran out. I just knew that he sounded very angry and I was terrified.
The guys were running back to the area that they had originally been in and I followed them. I checked behind me at one point and did not see the figure from tunnel following me. However, the guys were all laughing their asses off.
They explained to me that the guy in the tunnel was a homeless guy who had been living in that tunnel for who knows how long. He always hates it when people come along and go into the tunnel. So, that clanging sound I heard was one of the guys throwing a rock into the wall of the tunnel to wake the guy up and scare the hell out of me.
The guys were all laughing but I didn’t find it very funny. However, I began to laugh too because I wanted them to like me. So they seemed to accept me and I was invited to keep smoking with them and hanging out.
So, I had finally made some friends, some who I continued to know until long after high school was over. And all it took was for them to scare me so bad I nearly shit my pants.

PLAYBOY Interview With Conan O'Brien Interview by Kevin Cook For Playboy Magazine February 1998
A candid conversation with the preppie prince of "Late Night" about his rocky start, his show's secret one-day cancellation and how David Letterman saved the day.
He was polite. He was funny. He gave us a communicable disease.
At 34 Conan O'Brien is hotter than the fever he was running when we met in his private domain above the "Late Night" sound stage. A gangly freckle-faced ex-high school geek he is "one of TV's hottest properties" according to "People" magazine. The host of "Late Night With Conan O'Brien" has become his generation's king of comedy.
Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. Congested too, but O'Brien has far more to worry about than his head cold. A perfectionist who broods over one bad minute in an otherwise perfect hour of TV, he worries he might be anhedonic, "I have trouble with success," he says, "I was raised to believe that if something good happens something bad is coming." Sure things look good now "Rolling Stone" calls "Late Night" "the hottest comedy show on TV." Ratings are better than ever, particularly among 18- to 34-year-olds, the viewers advertisers crave.
But O'Brien only works harder. Despite his illness he taped two shows in 26 hours on three hours' sleep. He smoothly interviewed Elton John then burst into coughing fits during commercials. Later in his crammed corner office overlooking Manhattan traffic Conan the Cool gulped Dayquil gel caps. He coughed spewing microbes.
"Sorry, sorry," he said. Of course O'Brien can't complain. He came seriously close to falling to being banished behind the scenes as just another failed talk show host.
At his first "Late Night" press conference he corrected a reporter who called him a relative unknown, "Sir I am a complete unknown," he said. That line got a laugh, but soon O'Brien looked doomed. His September 13, 1993 debut began with O'Brien in his dressing room preparing to hang himself only to be interrupted by the start of his show. Before long his career was hanging by a thread. Ratings were terrible. Critics hated the show. Tom Shales of "The Washington Post" called it as "lifeless and messy as roadkill." Shales said O'Brien should quit.
Network officials held urgent meetings discussing the Conan O'Brien debacle. Should they fire him? How should they explain their mistake?
In the end of course he turned it around. The network hung with him long enough for the ratings to improve and the host of the cooler-than-ever "Late Night" now defines comedy's cutting edge just as Letterman did ten years ago.
Even Shales loves "Late Night" these days. He calls O'Brien's turnaround "one of the most amazing transformations in television history."
O'Brien was born on April 18, 1963 in Brookline, Massachusetts. His father, a doctor, is a professor at Harvard Medical School. His mother, a lawyer, is a partner at an elite Boston Law firm. Conan, the third of six children became a lector at church and a misfit at school. Tall and goofy, bedeviled with acne, he tried to impress girls with jokes. That plan usually bombed, but O'Brien eventually found his niche at Harvard where he won the presidency of the "Harvard Lampoon" in 1983 and again in 1984 - the first two-time "Lampoon" president since humorist Robert Benchley held the honor 85 years ago.
After graduating magna cum laude with a double major in literature and American history he turned pro. Writing for HBO's "Not Necessarily The News." O'Brien was earning $100,000 a year before his 24th birthday. But writing was never enough.
He honed his performance skills with the Groundlings, a Los Angeles improv group. There he worked with his onetime girlfriend Lisa Kudrow, now starring on "Friends." But Conan was not such a standout. In 1988 he landed a job at "Saturday Night Live" - but as a writer, not as on-air talent. In almost four years on the show O'Brien made only fleeting appearances, usually as a crowd member or security guard. His writing was more memorable. He wrote (or co-wrote) Tom hanks' "Mr Short-Term Memory" skits as well as the "pump you up" infosatire of Hanz and Franz and the nude beach sketch in which Matthew Broderick and "SNL" members played nudists admiring one another's penises. With dozens of mentions of the word that hit was the most penis-heavy moment in TV history. It helped O'Brien win an Emmy for comedy writing.
In 1991 he quit "SNL" and moved on to "The Simpsons" where he worked for two years. His urge to perform came out in wall-bouncing antics in writers' meetings. "Conan makes you fall out of your chair" said "Simpsons" creator Matt Groening. O'Brien's yen to act out was so strong that he spurned Fox's reported seven-figure offer to continue as a writer. He was driving for the spotlight.
By then David Letterman had announced he was turning shin - leaving NBC taking his ton-rated act to CBS. Suddenly NBC was up a creek without a host. The network turned to Lorne Michaels, O'Brien's "Saturday Night Live" boss. Michaels enlisted Conan's help in the host search planning to use him in a behind-the-scenes job. But when Garry Shandling, Dana Carvey and almost every other star turned down the chore of following Letterman, Michaels finally listened to Conan's crazy suggestion, "Let me do it!" Michaels persuaded the network to entrust it's 12:30 slot which Letterman had turned into a gold mine to an untested wiseass from Harvard.
O'Brien was working on one of his last "Simpsons" episodes when he got the news. He turned "paler than usual," Groening recalled. The Conan moseyed back to where the other writers were working, "I'll come back with the Homer Simspon joke later. I have to go replace Letterman," he said.
NBC executives now get credit for their foresight during those dark days of 1993 and 1994. They snared the axe and now reap the multimillion-dollar spoils of that decision. In fact, the story is not so simple. We sent Contributing Editor Kevin Cook to unravel the tale of O'Brien's survival, which he tells here for the first time. Cook reports:
"His office is chock-full of significa. There's a three-foot plastic pickle the Letterman staff left behind in 1993 - perhaps to suggest what a predicament he was in. There's a copy of Jack Paar's 'I Kid You Not' and a coffee-table book called 'Saturday Night Live: The First 20 Years.' His bulletin board features letters from fans such as John Watters and Bob Dole and an 8" x 10" glossy of Andy Richter with the inscription: "To Conan - Your bitter jealousy warms my black heart. Love and Kisses Andy."
"Of course it's all for show. From the photos of kitch icons Adam West and Robert Stack to the framed Stan Laurel autograph, from the deathbed painting of Abraham Lincoln, to the ironic star taped to Conan's door - they're all clever signals that tell a visitor how to view the star. Lincoln was his collegiate preoccupation: stardom is his occupation. Somewhere between the two I hoped to find the real O'Brien.
"As a Playboy reader he wanted to give me a better-than-average interview. I wanted something more - a definitive look at the guy who may end up being the Johnny Carson of his generation."
"Here's hoping we succeeded. If not I carried his germs 3000 miles and infected dozens of Californians for no good reason.
O'Brien: Yes, this is how to do a Playboy Interview -- completely tanked on cold medicine. I'll pick it up and read, "Yes, I'm gay."
Playboy: We could talk another time. O'Brien: (coughing) No, it's OK. I memorized Dennis Rodman's answers. Can I use them?
Playboy: You sound really sick. Do you ever take a day off? O'Brien: No. The age of talk show hosts taking days off is over. Johnny Carson could go to Africa when he was the only game in town -- "See you in two weeks!" But nobody does that now. I will give you a million dollars on the first day Jay takes off for illness.
Playboy: Do you ever slow down and enjoy your success? O'Brien: If anything, the pace is picking up. Restaurateurs insist on giving me a table even if I'm only passing by, so I'm eating nine meals a night. Women stop me on the street and hand me their phone numbers.
Playboy: So you have groupies? O'Brien: Oh yes. And other fans. Drifters. Prisoners. Insomniacs. Cab Drivers, who must watch a lot of late night TV, seem to love me lately. They keep saying, "You will not pay, you will not pay, you make me happy!"
Playboy: How happy did your new contract make you? O'Brien: Terrified. The network said, "We're all set for five years." I said, "Shut up, shut up! I can't think that far ahead." Tonight, for instance, I do my jokes, then interview Elton John and Tim Meadows. We finished taping about 6:30. By 6:45 my memory was erased and my only thought was, Tomorrow: John Tesh. And I started to obsess about John Tesh. Sad, don't you think?
Playboy: Not too sad. You got off to a rocky start but now you're so hot that People magazine recently said, "that was then, this is wow." O'Brien: I try not to pay much attention. Since I ignored the critics who said I should shoot myself in the head with a German Luger, it would be cheating to tear out nice reviews now and rub them all over my body, giggling. Though I have thought about it.
Playboy: Tell us about your trademark gag. You interview a photo of Bill Clinton or some other celeb, and a pair of superimposed lips provide outrageous answers. O'Brien: We call it the Clutch Cargo bit, after that terrible old cartoon series. They saved money on animation by superimposing real lips on the cartoons. I wanted to do topical jokes in a cartoony way -- not just Conan doing quips at a desk. TV is visual; I want things to look funny. But we're not Saturday Night Live; we couldn't spend $100,000 on it. Hence, the cheap, cheesy lips, You'd be surprised how many people we fool.
Playboy: Viewers believe that's really the president yelling, "Yee-haw! Who's got a joint?" O'Brien: It's strange. You may know intellectually that Clinton doesn't talk like Foghorn Leghorn. Ninety-eight percent of your brain knows the president wouldn't say, "Whoa Conan get a load of that girl!" But there are a few brain cells that aren't sure. When Bob Dole was running for president we had him doing a past-life regression: "My cave, get away." And then back further, "Must form flippers to crawl on to rocky soil," he says. There may be people out there who believe that Bob Dole was the first amphibian.
Playboy: Do you ever go too far? O'Brien: The fun is in going too far. It's a nice device because you get Bill Clinton to do the nastiest Bill Clinton jokes. We'll have Clinton making fart noises while I say "Sir! Please!"
Playboy: Are you enjoying your job now, with your new success? O'Brien: Well, there are surprises. I hate surprises. Like most comics, I'm a control freak. But I am learning that the show works best when things are out of control. Tonight I ask Elton John if he likes being neighbors with Joan Collins. He says he isn't neighbors with Joan Collins. He lives next door to Tina Turner. So I panic -- huge mistake! But Elton saves the day. "Joan Collins, Tina Turner, it doesn't matter. Either way I could borrow a wig," he says. Huge laugh, all because I fucked up. Later he surprised me by blurting out that he's hung like a horse. The camera cuts to me shaking my head: That crazy Elton. What can I do? Of course, I'm delighted that he went too far.
Playboy: That "What can I do?" look resembles a classic take of Jack Benny's. O'Brien: There's an old saying in literature: "Good poets borrow; great poets steal." I think T.S. Eliot stole it from Ezra Pound. Comics steal, too. Constantly. When I watched Johnny Carson, I noticed that he got a few takes from Benny and Bob Hope. When a comedy writer told me how much Woody Allen had borrowed from Hope, I thought, What? They're nothing alike. Then I went back and watched Son of Paleface, and there's Hope, the nervous city guy backing up on his heels, wringing his hands and saying, "Sorry, I'll just be moving along." Now look at early Woody Allen. You see big authority figures and Woody nervously saying, "Look, I'll just be on my way." Of course Woody made it his own, but he must have watched and loved Bob Hope.
Playboy: Who are your role models? O'Brien: Carson. Woody Allen. SCTV. Peter Sellers. When Peter Sellers died I felt such a loss, thinking, There won't be anymore of that. There's some Steve Martin in my false bravado with female guests: "Why, hel-lo there!" And I won't deny having some Letterman in my bones.
Playboy: You were surprise as Letterman's successor. At first you seemed like the wrong choice. O'Brien: I didn't get ratings. That doesn't mean I didn't get laughs. Yes, I had a giant pompadour and I looked like a rockabilly freak. I was too excited, pushed too hard, and people said, "That guy isn't a polished performer." Fine! But it isn't my goal to be Joe Handsomehead cool, smooth talk show host. Late Night with Conan O'Brien is supposed to be a work in progress, and now that we've had some success there's a danger of our getting too polished and morphing into something smoothly professional. Which would suck.
Do you know why I wanted this show? Because Late Night with David Letterman played with the rules and it looked like fun. Here was a place where people did risky comedy every night for millions of people. We had to keep this thing alive. There should be a place on a big network where people are still messing around.
Playboy: How bad were your early days on the show? O'Brien: Bad. Dave left here under a cloud: his fans and the media were angry with NBC. Then NBC picks a guy with crazy hair and a weird name. And the world says, "Harvard? Those guys are assholes." I sincerely hope that the winter of December 1993, our first winter, was the worst time I will ever have. I'd go out to do the warm up and the back two rows of seats would be empty. That's hard to look at. I would tell a joke and then hear someone whisper, "Who's he? Where's Dave?"
Playboy: You had trouble getting guests. O'Brien: Bob Denver canceled on us. We shot a test show with Al Lewis of The Munsters. We did the clutch cargo thing with a photo of Herman Munster. Unfortunately, Fred Gwynne, who played Herman, had recently died, and Al Lewis kept pointing at the screen, saying, "You're dead! I was at your funeral!"
Playboy: For months you got worried notes from network executives. What did they say? O'Brien: They were worried. The fact that Lorne Michaels was involved bought me some time. But Lorne had turned to me at the start and said, "OK, Conan. What do you want to do?" Now television critics were after me and the network was starting to realize what a risk I was. Suggestions came fast and furious. I kept the note that said, "Why don't you just die?"
Playboy: Did they suggest ways to be funnier? O'Brien: They were more specific and tactical. The network gets very specific data. Say there was a drop in ratings between 12:44 and 12:48 when I was talking to Jon Bon Jovi. I'll be told, "Don't ever talk to him again" Or they'll want me to tease viewers into staying with us: "You should tease that -- say, 'We'll have nudity coming up next!'"
Playboy: You did come close to being cancelled. O'Brien: We were cancelled.
Playboy: Really? You have never admitted that. O'Brien: This is the first time I've talked about it. When I had been on for about a year, there was a meeting at the network. They decided to cancel my show. They said, "It's cancelled." Next day they realized they had nothing to put in the 12:30 slot, so we got a reprieve.
Playboy: Were you worried sick? O'Brien: I went into denial. I tried hard not to think, Yes, I'm bad on the air and my show has none of the things a TV show needs to survive. We had no ratings. No critics in our corner. Advertisers didn't like us. Affiliates wanted to drop us. Sometimes I'd meet a programming director from a local station where we had no rating at all. The guy would show me a printout with no number for Late Night's rating, just a hash mark or pound sign. I didn't dare think about that when I went out to do the show.
Playboy: Are you defending denial? O'Brien: How else does anyone get through a terrible experience? The odds were against me. Rationally, I didn't have much chance. Denial was my only friend. When I look back on the first year, it's like a scene from an old war movie: Ordinary guy gets thrown into combat, somehow beats impossible odds, staggers to safety. His buddy say, "You could have been killed!" The guy stops and thinks. "Could have been killed?" he says. His eyes cross and he faints.
Playboy: How did you dodge the bullet? O'Brien: There were people at NBC who stood up for me. I will always be indebted to Don Ohlmeyer, who stuck to his guns. Don said, "We chose this guy. We should stick with him unless we get a better plan." He was brutally honest. He came to me and said, "Give me about a 15 percent bump in the ratings and you'll stay on the air. If not, we're going to move on."
Playboy: Ohlmeyer started his career in the sports division. O'Brien: Exactly, his take was, "You're on our team." Of course, it wasn't exactly rational of Don to hope I'd be 15 percent funnier. It was like telling a farmer, "It better rain this week or we'll take your farm away."
Playboy: What did you say to Ohlmeyer? O'Brien: There wasn't time. I had to go out and do a monologue. But I will always be indebted to Don because he told me the truth. Wait a minute -- you have tricked me into talking lovingly about an NBC executive. Let me say that there were others who were beneath contempt -- executives who wouldn't know a good show if it swam up their asses and lit a campfire.
Playboy: Finally the ratings went your way. Hard work rewarded? O'Brien: Well, I also paid off the Nielsen people. That was $140,000 well spent.
Playboy: Ohlmeyer plus bribery saved you? O'Brien: There was something else. Just when everyone was kicking the crap out of the show, Letterman defended me.
Playboy: Letterman had signed off on NBC saying, "I don't really know Conan O'Brien, but I heard he killed someone." O'Brien: Then I pick up the paper and he's saying he thinks I am going to make it. "They do some interesting, innovative stuff over there," he says. "I think Conan will prevail." And then he came on as a guest. Remember, this was when we were at our nadir. There was no Machiavellian reason for David Letterman, who at the time was the biggest thing in show business, to be on my show.
Playboy: Why did he do it? O'Brien: I'm still not sure. Maybe out of a sense of honor. Fair play. And it woke me up. It made me think. Hey, we have a real fucking television show here.
Of six or seven pivotal points in my short history here, that was the first and maybe the biggest. I wouldn't be sitting here -- I probably wouldn't even exist today -- if he hadn't done our show.
Playboy: The Late Night wars were hardly noted for friendly gestures. O'Brien: How little you understand. Jay, Dave and I pal around all the time. We often ride a bicycle built for three up to the country. "Nice job with Fran Drescher!" "Thanks, pal. You weren't so bad with John Tesh." We sleep in triple-decker bunk beds and snore in unison like the Three Stooges.
Playboy: You talk more about Letterman than your NBC teammate Leno. O'Brien: I hate the "Leno or Letterman, who's better?" question. I can tell you that Jay has been great to me. He calls me occasionally.
Playboy: To say what? O'Brien: (Doing Leno's voice) "Hey, liked that bit you did last night." Or he'll say he saw we got a good rating. I call him at work, too. It can be a strange conversation because we're so different. Jay, for instance, really loves cars. He's got antique cars with kerosene lanterns, cars that run on peat moss. He'll be telling me about some classic car he has, made entirely of brass and leather, and I'll say, "Yeah, man, I got the Taurus with the vinyl." One thing we have in common is bad guests. There are certain actors, celebrities with nothing to say, who move through the talk show world wreaking havoc. They lay waste to Dave's town and Jay's town, then head my way.
Playboy: You must be getting some good guests. Your ratings have shown a marked improvement. O'Brien: Remember, when you're on at 12:30 the Nielsens are based on 80 people. My ratings drop if one person has a head cold and goes to bed early.
Playboy: Actually, you're seen by about 3 million people a night. Your ratings would be even higher if college dorms weren't excluded from the Nielsens. How many points does that cost you? O'Brien: I told you I'm an idiot. Now I have to do math too?
Playboy: Do you still get suggestions from NBC executives? O'Brien: Not as many. The number of notes you get is inversely proportional to your ratings.
Playboy: What keeps you motivated? O'Brien: Superstition. We have a stagehand, Bobby Bowman, who holds up the curtain when I run out for the monologue. He is the last person I see before the show starts, and I have to make him laugh before I go out. It started with mild jabs: "Bobby, you're drunk again." Bobby laughs, "Heehee."" Then it was, "Still having trouble with the wife, Bobby?" But after hundreds of shows, you find yourself running out of lines. It's gotten to where I do crass things at the last second. I'll put his hand on my ass and yell, "You fucking pervert!" Or drop to my knees and say, "Come on, Bobby, I'll give you a blow job!"
"Ha-ha. Conan, you're crazy," he says. But even that stuff wears off. Soon, I'll be making the writers work late to give me new jokes for Bobby.
Playboy: Did you plan to be a talk show host or did you fall into the job? O'Brien: I was an Irish Catholic kid from St. Ignatius parish in Brookline, outside of Boston. And that meant: Don't call attention to yourself. Don't ask for too much when the pie comes around. Don't get a girl pregnant and fuck up your life.
Playboy: Were you an alter boy? O'Brien: I wanted to be an alter boy, but the priest at St. Ignatius said, "No, no. You're good on your feet, kid," and made me a lector. A scripture reader at Mass. He was the one who spotted my talent.
Playboy: What did you think of sex in those days? O'Brien: I was sexually repressed. At 16 I still thought human reproduction was by mitosis.
Playboy: How did you get over your sexual repression? O'Brien: Who says I got over it? My leg has been jiggling this whole time.
Playboy: What were you like in high school? O'Brien: Like a crane galumphing down the hall. A crane with weird hair, bad skin and Clearasil. Big enough for basketball but lousy at it. My older brothers were better. I would compensate by running around the court doing comedy, saying, "Look out, this player has a drug addiction. He's incredibly egotistical."
I was an asshole at home, too. My little brother Justin loved playing cops and robbers, but I kept tying him up with bureaucratic bullshit. When he'd catch me, I'd say, "I get to call my lawyer." Then it was, "OK, Justin, we're at trial and you've been charged with illegal arrest. Fill out these forms in triplicate." Justin was eight; he hated all the lawsuits and countersuits. He just cried.
Playboy: Were you a class clown? O'Brien: Never. I was never someone who walked into a room full of strangers and started telling jokes. You had to get to know me before I could make you laugh. The same thing happened with Late Night. I needed to get the right rhythm with Andy and Max and the audience.
Playboy: So how did you finally learn about sex? O'Brien: My parents gave me a book, but it was useless. At the crucial moment, all it showed was a man and a woman with the bed covers pulled up to their chins. I tried to find out more from friends, but it didn't help. One childhood friend told me it was like parking a car in a garage. I kept worrying about poisonous fumes. What if the fumes build up? Should you shut off the engine?
Playboy: For all your talk about being repressed, you can be rowdy on the air. O'Brien: The show is my escape valve. When I tear off my shirt and gyrate my pelvis like Robert Plant, feigning orgasm into the microphone, that shows how repressed I am -- a guy who wants to push his sex at the lens but can only do it as a joke.
Playboy: Aren't you tempted to live it up? O'Brien: I always imagined that if I were a TV star I would live the way I pictured Johnny Carson living. Carousing, stepping out of a limo wearing a velvet ascot with a model on my arm. Now that I have the TV show, I drive up to Connecticut on the weekends and tool around in my car. I could probably join a free-sex cult, smoke crack between orgies and drive sports cars into swimming pools, and my Catholic guilt would still be there, throbbing like a toothache. Be careful. If something good happens, something bad is on the way.
Playboy: Yet you don't mind licking the supermodels. O'Brien: At one point a few of them lived in my building, women who are so beautiful they almost look weird, like aliens. To me, a woman who has a certain approachable amount of beauty becomes almost funny. It's the same with male supermodels. They look like big puppets. So while I admire their beauty I probably won't be "romantically linked" with a model. I'd catch my reflection in a ballroom mirror and break up laughing.
Playboy: The horny Roy Orbison growl you use on gorgeous guests sounds real enough -- O'Brien: Oh, I've been doing that shit since high school. It just never worked before.
Playboy: Your father is a doctor, your mother an attorney. What do they think of their son the comedian? O'Brien: My dad was the one who told me denial was a virtue. "Denial is how people get through horrible things," he said. He also cut out a newspaper article in which I said I was making money off something for which I should probably be treated. So true, he thought. But when I got an Emmy for helping write Saturday Night Live, my parents put it on the mantel next to the crucifix. Here's Jesus looking over, saying, "Wow, I saved mankind from sin, but I wish I had an Emmy."
Playboy: Ever been in therapy? O'Brien: Yes. I don't trust it. I have told therapists that I don't particularly want to feel good. "Repression and fear, that's my fuel." But the therapists said that I had nothing to worry about. "Don't worry Conan you will always be plenty fucked up."
Playboy: When a female guest comes out, how do you know whether to shake her hand or kiss her? Is that rehearsed O'Brien: No, and it's awkward. If you go to shake her hand and her head starts coming right at you, you have to change strategy fast. I have thought about using the show to make women kiss me, but that would probably creep out the people at home. I decided not to kiss Elton John.
Playboy: Do you get all fired up if Cindy Crawford or Rebecca Romijn does the show? O'Brien: I like making women laugh. Always have, ever since I discovered you can get girls' attention by acting like an ass. That's one of the joys of the show -- I'm working my eyebrows and going grrr and she's laughing, the audience is laughing. It's all a big put-on and I'm thinking. This is great. Here is a beautiful woman who has no choice but to put up with this shit.
But it's not always put on. Sometimes they flirt back. Sometimes there's a bit of chemistry. That happened with Jennifer Connelly of The Rocketeer.
Playboy: One guest, Jill Hennessy, took off her pants for you. Then you removed yours. Even Penn and Teller took off their pants. O'Brien: Something comes over me. It happened with Rebecca Romijn -- I was practically climbing her. Those are the times when Andy and the audience seem to disappear and it's just me and this lovely woman sitting there flirting. I keep expecting a waiter to say, "More wine, Monsieur?"
Playboy: Would you lick the wine bottle? O'Brien: It's true, there's a lot of licking on the show. I have licked guests. I have licked Andy. Comedy professionals will read this and say, "Great work, Conan. Impressive." But I have learned that if you lick a guest, people laugh. If I pick this shoe off the floor, examine it, Hmmm, and then lick it, people laugh. I learned this lesson on The Simpsons, where I was the writer who was forever trying to entertain the other writers. I still try desperately to make our writers laugh, which is probably a sign of sickness since they work for me now. Licking is one of those things that look funny.
Playboy: Johnny Carson never licked Ed McMahon. O'Brien: We are much more physical and more stupid than the old Tonight Show. Even in our offices before the show there's always some writer acting out a scene crashing his head through my door. A behind-the-scenes look at our show might frighten people.
Playboy: One night you showed a doctored photo of Craig T. Nelson having sex with Jerry Van Dyke. Did they complain about it? O'Brien: I haven't heard from them. Of course I'm blessed not to be a part of the celebrity pond. I have a television show in New York, an NBC outpost. I don't run with or even run into many Hollywood people.
Playboy: You also announced that Tori Spelling has a penis. O'Brien: I did not. Polly the Peacock said that.
Playboy: Another character you use to say the outrageous stuff. O'Brien: Polly is not popular with the network.
Playboy: You mock Fabio, too. O'Brien: If he sues me, it'll be the best thing that ever happened. A publicity bonanza: Courtroom sketches of Fabio with his man-boobs quivering, shaking his fist, and me shouting at him across the courtroom. I'm not afraid of Fabio. He knows where to find me. I'm saying it right here for the record: Fabio, let's get it on.
Playboy: Ever have a run-in with an angry celeb? O'Brien: I did a Kelsey Grammar joke a few years ago, something about his interesting lifestyle, then heard through the network that he was upset. He had appeared on my show and expected some support. At this point my intellect says, "Kelsey Grammar is a public figure. I was in the right." Then I saw him in an airport. Kelsey didn't see me at first: I could have kept walking. But there he was, eating a cruller in the airport lounge. I thought I should go over. I said hello and then said, "Kelsey, I'm sorry if I upset you." And he was glad. He looked relieved. He said, "Oh, that's OK." We both felt better.
....See my other post with the last third of the interview

The kids, and even early elementary students, are so used to staring at screens, they can't focus on a show. They want to play computer games, AND watch a movie at the same time.
I understand, because I sometimes end up looking at my phone while watching something. But for kids, it's just horrible.
When I was young, the teacher put on a movie for us and they did report cards. We were so happy and so grateful.
I tried this.
I had to stop our end of the year movie. They're not watching it anyway. They're roaming around, rolling on the ground, yelling, burping, arguing, humming, singing, laughing, squeeking. Fuck that. So they get out their grammar books, open to page 144, and get to work.
That's the end of the year party for this group of rude little kids. No icecream, no party. Just sit your but in your chair and work.
I love these kids but they're not receiving any consequences for shifty behavior. Now I gotta do collective punishment, and the Rude kids don't care.
If my admin did their jobs I'd be able to send out 4 of the students and the 20 left would be able to learn.
Anyway, it's naughty behavior, and no attention spans and little baby mindsets. I'm over it. I'm fairly liberal, and hippy in attitude and demeanor, but I'm ready for corporal punishment. I want these shitty kids paddled in front of the entire school. How am I gonna give a fuck about their little sore bottoms and brused egos, I'm too far gone.
Sorry, rant over.

Seasonal Allergies Immunotherapy
Hi I’m planning on applying for OCS when I graduate in May. But im currently taking allergy shots for my seasonal allergies. I would have no problem pausing them during basic etc. Resuming when I’m past training, but is this something I have to do? Is it worth having to get a medical waiver for it? Do I need to tell my recruiter?
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Currently in the process of reenlisting as a prior service who was chaptered out in AIT for SI. Submitted and turned over all my paperwork to my recruiter and awaiting MEPS. My recruiter said this is the longest part of the waiting game from his experience. How long should I be expecting to wait realistically? I would ask my recruiter but I feel like I've bothered him enough over the past few weeks lmao. - Thanks!
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Hey guys l need some advice so i'm gonna get straight to the point. I am 20 and a junior in college. I ship in June and i have 3 Mos choices so far. 19D, 11b and 19k. Which do y’all recommend?I'm hardworking and not lazy so yeah. I am joining for many reasons but one of the main reasons is travel. Would I get to do tha much? Thank you
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Hey guys, I enlisted with an airborne contract that has my first assignment at Fort Liberty. How likely is it that I get assigned to the 82nd?
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Weight loss
I'm currently 5% body fat over for the arms 2.0. I'm eating way better and consuming 12-1,500 calories and losing an average of 3,000 calories a day. I've been running/walking 2 miles a day of hill terrain. My recruiter said I need to lose 10 pounds by May 17. I need tips and tricks on how to lose those pounds by then
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Army National Guard recruiter says at MEPS you can choose from several dates to start basic. Is that accurate?
If so, typically how many dates are there to choose from and how far in the future? I have a great civilian job, so would like to know my date as far in advance as possible.
Edit: would go on to traditional state OCS (yea, I know the internet’s opinions on it but it fits my life really well) afterwards.
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I've got 4 years active and 3 years guard under my belt and I've always put in to my tsp to get the match. I know you need 8 years to keep the matching, but my unit has drained what little motivation I had left for the army, and I've decided I'm done. I'm curious if anyone can help me figure out if there's any option that will help me keep my tsp matching besides a 1 year extension. I doubt the IRR counts towards 8 years, and from what I understand, the inactive guard is simply a pause button. So instead of pushing me to 8 years, it's just delaying my 7th till next year or something. I'm also wondering if a future federal job would contribute to that 8 years or if it has to be all concurrent. Thank you for any help or any resources or links yall can send me to figure this out.
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I was wondering if I could join the army with depression, anxiety, and OCD. All diagnosed. I have no suicide attempts or anything like that, no inpatient care either. All of these are somewhat mild and manageable, and I haven't been on any medication. But that was another concern of mine, if I was to get on any medication, would that disqualify me? Thanks a lot.
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Im currently a senior in high school trying to enlist in the army since December but I’m at a loss of what to do. I took the asvab scored a 61 but autism came up on my records from when I was a kid. I had to get a full medical Record for meps then they wanted my pharmacy record and now they want some more records my recruiter made me sign a form for my old doctors to get it from them about a month and a week ago. I called him the earlier this week and he said he Kentucky or Kansas (I didn’t hear him well and forgot) doing some training I honestly just don’t know what to do I’ll graduate from high school in a few weeks and I probably have a month after that before my parents kick me out any advice?
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Hey all, I wanted to get some insight on whether you all think I would be able to enlist with Crohn's. I've seen online that it's generally marked as an "unwaivable medical condition" but sometimes goes on a case by case basis. My IBD is very mild, I honestly forget that I even have the damn disease because it doesnt effect my daily life at all. I have it managed by taking an 8-week biologic but have gone on extended breaks from it before due to insurance reasons (roughly 2-3 months without any meds) and had no flare ups or any issues of the sort. However, my doctor is thinking of switching me to a daily pill (Rinvoq). I don't have any food sensitivities like a lot of Crohn's patients have (caffeine, alcohol, dairy, etc.) and have never had any surgeries nor does my GI doctor think i'll ever need one. I wanted to enlist for a 17C contract as im already in college for tech anyhow, I'm not sure if that would effect my standing. However, dream MOS is 18X but I figure that may be tougher to get by a recruiter. Any advice or thoughts? Army has been my dream forever and I don't want to have to give it up, so I'd really do anything haha.
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I have 2 non violent felonies from 2011 and PTD from 2022 for possession. I've been upfront and honest with my recruiter. He sent me to test today and I scored 63 on Asvab and GT of 113. Is there a chance for me? Thanks in advance. 30 and in great health and shape.
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What bases would you do bmt if your in cyber security and aviation mechanics?
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I ship out in a week. Went to meps and signed in March. Can I change my MOS? Or is it too late ?? I want something language related because I’m fluent in Arabic (already passed DLPT)
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For anyone that has done OSUT at Fort Moore, how long does it typically take before they’ll tell you where your FDS is?
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I have read a few horror stories where someone enlisted with X,Y, or Z in their contract, but after basic they where told something else and could not confirm the original. For example, someone claims they had a specific location through Option 19, only to later be told they are going somewhere else.
My first question is: has this happened to anyone here, and if so and how was it resolved?
My second question is: after signing your contract, how do you gain acess to it later? Do you receive a physical copy for yourself? Can you download a copy? Is there someone you can ask in the Army to retrieve it for you? Will it be acessable on a portal of somekind?
I am considering enlisting with option 19 and the location is very important to me. Thank you!
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Is phone use in BCT only delegated to calls? Also does phone use depend on what phase you're in, like, red phase 20 minutes, blue 30 minutes? Going to jackson
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Not the best time to swear in, waivers
I have all of my waivers approved, however, I won’t be swearing in due to job circumstances. If things change, can I still go back into the army or will I blocked out of it forever?
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I have an AAM and 3 COAs which S1 has been tracking for months but which have yet to reflect on my PPW. Do I have any recourse?
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my recruiter says that I can't get option 4 in my 35W contract but I really want to be airborne as a 35p/m so I have a higher chance of having my skills be put to use. Can i put in for airborne at DLI or AIT? what is the earliest I can do this and how would I go about it? I just went through the normal MEPS process not the airborne physical fyi
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Is a bonus worth choosing the Army over the AF?
In general, I’ve heard that the army’s QoL is less than that of the Air Force. However, the army has way more jobs w bonuses that I’d be interested in. And it’s the same or similar jobs as the Air Force, but w a bonus. I know the Basic Training for army is also longer, but a bonus can be convincing. I have the same question, but in regards to joining the navy as well. I want to focus on my education during my enlistment & get my bachelors & id also like travel opportunities. I haven’t taken my ASVAB yet, it’s scheduled the 16th. I scored rlly well on the PiCAT, and according to those scores I qualify for some army jobs w a bonus. I know it’s not as simple as that, and it’s a whole process & based on what’s available. Just want some opinions on if I was offered an army job w a bonus as opposed to the same/ similar Air Force job without, would you consider it worth it based on your experience?
I already got some answers from a post I made about this, but moderator deleted it and said to comment here. But any additional info/ insight is greatly appreciated. I want to make the best choice for my future in the case that I don't want to do 20 years.
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I'm joining up rn and working with a recruiter. We've got my waivers and everything. Pretty much just have to pick a job. For background I was an IET separation back in 2009. From what I've read and what me and my recruiter have gone over I am glossary non-prior service. I could have sworn I read (albeit a while ago) that business rules did not apply to GNPS, so I should be free to pick my MOS. However, I talked to my recruiter earlier today and he wants me to sit with his 1SG and go over the job options available for prior service. Am I wrong and I just get what I get?
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Please help!
I was looking to join the guard but in my medical records it shows I had Guillan barre. I was feeling some numbness in my legs, but looking back at it, it was very cold outside and I was just a bitch who would try to get out of school by any means possible. They did a spinal tap and never found any trace of the disease however. I was in the hospital for a couple of days, the gave me immunoglobulin and then I went home and nothing ever came of it. I am currently completely asymptomatic This was when I was 12 or 13 years old. Now I’m 18 and want to join but my recruiter said I have to get all the records and stuff. What is the chance that I will still be able to join? I tried looking it up online but I couldn’t find an answer. Also if I’m able to join, will I need a medical waiver?
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My MOS is 68W, I'm shipping out in June and I'm taking the OPAT in a couple of weeks. I'm 5'2 and 115ish pounds. I'm pretty fit. My biggest worry is the standing long jump. I want to pass the OPAT with flying colors and keep my MOS. Is there any advice or tips y'all can give me?
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I’m looking to graduate and enlist in a month but can’t decide on what MOS I want. I think 11B because I don’t want to individuate and do army shit or 68W but I’m not sure if I can get advanced combative training or other schools I want. I want to do something that’s “high speed” and meaningful while working my way towards Ranger reg. Is the 82nd Airborne a good pathway to that? How is civil affairs? Can you enlist directly into it while being active duty?
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Thinking about reenlisting to army with 8.5 PS in USMC. Been out < 5years. Will I have to repeat AIT if I keep my same MOS? I know this is the wrong channel for USMC feedback but also considering going back there if it would mean not repeating AlT. Thanks in advance!
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Hi everyone! I’m a high school student planning on joining the military. I’m Muslim, so I want to be sure that whichever branch I join is accommodating to Muslim needs. If it changes anything, I’m planning joining through the ROTC route.
My main concerns are, does the Army give beard waivers for Muslims? Is it possible to take short breaks throughout the day to pray? Can you fast during Ramadan? Can you be provided with halal (no pork/no alcohol) food?
Also, I’m interested in infantry or armor (or any kind of ground forces officer in general). Would these accommodations interfere with being selected for these careers or being mission ready? (Such as a beard, fasting, etc.)
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i’m a current nasty girl and i’m looking to transfer to Active duty. i understand i need a conditional release in order to sign a new contract and need my G-1 to sign off on it. i’m looking for info on the process from someone who’s gone through the process.
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What are the odds of getting a waiver for ulcerative colitis? I was EPTS’d out in march 2023 after being diagnosed while I was at 30th AG. My GI said I was in remission as of jan of this year. I take 4 Lialda pills a day and get an entyvio infusion every 2 months. I feel perfectly fine now though. Scored a 74 on the asvab.
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Medical record
In the navy currently and getting out in a year. I had a back injury prior to enlisting that I didn’t disclose. I plan on entering the army after my contract. If this comes up will my discharge from the navy be lowered or my benefits revoked?
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So my recruiter told me that I have to get a lease first, but the thing is, is that we don't have one with our landlord. It's more like an oral lease and he's a slumlord who never tries to communicate with any of us. That being said, my recruiter then said that I should find a lease online and edit it to where I state that I'm paying the rent to my sister instead (who has a valid ID) He also stated that my sister and I have to go to a check-cashing place to get it notarized. Is this all ok to do and will the BHA be approved? Also if it's approved, does this mean that the rent we pay which is $1,365.50, is going to be paid for while I'm away and how exactly??
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Can I enlist if I have a Mexican highschool diploma? (I am american, just finished highschool in mexico) And don't have a address in the USA???
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I am thinking of finishing up my bachelors and joining as an officer, my question was whether it was possible or not to guarantee mos 17c in the army if I join as an officer.
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I just got told that I cant enlist for 2 years after my waiver got denied for a history of depression. I stopped feeling depressed last August but got officially cleared into remission in February. I was told theres no point in a consult and the most I can do is reach out to a congressman. Other than reaching out to a congressman, is there really nothing I can do?
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Questions about Virginia National Guard
I want to do OCS! Now here’s my confusion. My recruiter is saying that the moment I swear in is the moment my contract is going to start and will count towards that 6 year! So, if he is right, I will basically complete 2 years training if I do state OCS. But I would like to have more control on what branch I get! My top 3 are: cyber warfare, signal, and intel. Should I do accelerated in that case? Also how likely am I to get one of those aforementioned three if I do state OCS of 18 months? My bachelor was in Computer Engineering, and I am currently enrolled in ASU for master’s pursuing Computer Science! Will I get that 24k a year tuition fee because he said there’s a possibility I might get it since it’s fully online? Can I get tuition assistance and loan repayment both? Does getting either one incur additional service time?
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im thinking of joining as a officer and going into ocs, what is the best branch for a well paying civilian job after completing my service, for context my major right now is relg studies plus maybe bio.
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I leave for Future Soldier Preparatory Course for the fitness aspect on the 21st, has anyone gone through it recently? There’s not a whole lot of information on it online, I was just wondering what it’s like, and what to expect. Do you get issued all of your gear since you will be going to bmt after? What is reception like? Any and all information and tips is greatly appreciated!
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So my husband is going to meps next week. he has 2 different sets of scars on his left arm. He works at a mobile home plant building houses. One was from when he got caught on a nail so it's a little deeper looking and another was from some sheet metal at work. He didn't disclose it to his boss because he works on a line and it would've put his team behind so he just put some bandaids on it and went about his day and cleaned it up when he got home. This was about 1-2 years ago. What is his meps experience going to be like? They aren't self harm obviously but we've heard horror stories about the doctors at meps not believing people and DQ them. He honestly forgot about telling his recruiter and his recruiter has already sent in all his medical history and got him scheduled for meps. Should he still go ahead and tell his recruiter or just wait and disclose it at meps?
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Should i go in as 17c or try my luck at ocs?
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I'm currently in process Enlisting in the Reserve, while holding an associate's degree in mechanical engineering technology, with some side education in programming. While I am working towards my bachelor's degree, I'm looking to pick an MOS that will help my career, or at the very least, be interesting. I don't remember my scores, but my Recruiter told me whatever I pick, my score won't be the limiting factor.
Top of the list for career jobs is 15 series, from what I've heard from currently enlisted in my friend group, wrenching on aircraft in general is a fast track to a cushy job on the outside with my education. 25 series looks boring but useful as anything IT/electrical complements my degree. On the more interesting side, I was looking at 91 series, either 91F or 91P.
Am I going anywhere wrong with any of these jobs? Anything I should be keeping in mind?
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25D or 35T I just wonder which MOS would be better for career. I am really interested in IT. I know 25D is not entry MOS. Let’s say you meet requirements for both MOS. If you stay as enlisted side, what would you recommend?
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I’m heading to ait now at fort Moore for 91M do I get my phone and am I in a dorm how is that like
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Hi all,
I am a permanent resident here is the US, and last week I finished my ASVAB mock test with a 95 on my AFQT. The recruiter says I am eligible for everything that doesn't require a security clearance which is kind of a problem as my dream MOS are the 35-series and 17-series (As both of these are locked behind clearance requirement)
After some thinking, I narrow down to the following, but there are still too many so I hope I can get your feedback on what I am doing. My aims are: a/I want something that will translate into the civilian world well if my time in the army doesn't go well, b/I want an MOS that can advanced through warrant or becoming a commission officer if my time in the army does go well, and c/I want to push myself to the limit and break out of my comfort zone to see where I can go. If I sound arrogant, please forgive for that: I am just trying to be as careful as possible. I am nearly reaching my thirty, and I want to take deliberate steps because I no longer have the luxury of youth and family to try and fail.
The MOS are:
11-series, 12B and 12D: I have a soft spot for these despite knowing they don't translate into the civilian world. But in my heart somewhere is a wild child that wants to test my physical prowess and wants to blow things up. I do know my knees and lower back will hate me for picking this.
15 series: With exceptions to 15C, 15J, and other works related to flying or being mechanics of sensitive equipment, I can be an aircraft technicians. I read that there are demands for airplane mechanics but I don't know much about this field other than a/I got to repair planes, b/people seem to hate it because you have to sign a long contract if you become a warrant.
68A: I did see this MOS getting recommended a lot but after reading its description, I am not very sure if I want to do it either both in the army or afterwards. I must also admit I don't have a good insights onto the day to day life of this job. Can someone shed some light about this MOS for me?
68C: Becoming a nurse seems like a very safe choice out of the military given that the BLS projects nurse to be in high demand and being able to take care of your family sounds like a big plus to me; however, I don't know if I like being a nurse. My parents were doctors, and having seen the hospital environment I can say I am not a fan. I also look into 68A but BLS prospect for it didn't seem good, and the training on 68E, 68D, and 68V look a little bit too short. Do you really become a dental assistant just with 10 weeks of training?
68W: I must admit, I have a soft spot for 68W as it allows me to be both learn some medical skills and be on the field. However, I do notice that 68W only translates to paramedic/EMT post-army, while 68C translates to becoming a nurse (which is more valued and regarded as "better" than paramedic or EMT and thus in higher demand)
88H, 92A, 92F, and 92Y: I pick these because, according to BLS, there is a projected increase need for people in warehousing and transportation. From my limited understanding of the fields, you will be in charge of handling logistics such as maintaining unit inventory, ordering supplies and weapons for your units, etc. but I am not very sure on the difference between, say, 92Y and 92A.
So, can you give me a suggestions? May anyone who has been in these MOS share their experience to help me pick? What are some of the MOS I miss?
Thank you, and I look forward to hearing from you.
Best regards,
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Is the 09m program ending at the end of may?
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How does one secure a religious exemption before basic training? My recruiter said we would talk about it down the line but it’s getting down to the wire and I’d rather it not get forgotten.
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Hi my duty station is at JBLM I’ll hopefully be there around May of 2025. I still have too go through basic and AIT but I was hoping that I could get some info about the barracks and hopefully get in touch with some of the people that are getting stationed/ already stationed There that are aviation, specifically 15Y. Thank you
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How can i improve my chances of success after the military?
I'm going to meps in 2 weeks and im shooting for a 25 series mos. 25H was what was available at the recruiters after i took my practice asvab. I'm not the brightest bulb but, hey, I'll take it. Aside from college ,which i want to continue to pursue throughout my time in the army (or after depending on my mental fortitude once i'm actually in,) how can i set myself up for success in the civilian world? Any input from past 25h or 25 series who somehow translated their career into decent paying jobs will be much appreciated.
I'll add I'm only joining the army for the college benefits and free training as i come from a poor household and have no other feasible way to pay for it.
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Hello everyone,
I was recently laid off from a $64k job, and honestly, I'm not too upset. I was already feeling burnt out and unhappy, staying primarily for the promised educational benefits to facilitate a career change, which obviously fell through with the job loss. Now, I'm considering my options and the military as a new path has been sounding appealing to an extent. The VA loan and GI Bill are particularly enticing because they would help me pursue a degree without getting into debt, and enabling the career change I've been considering. And the thought of being able to buy a house at this age/economy seems awesome.
At 28, I'm weighing the implications of joining now, especially considering the pay cut and spending four years AD without the guarantee of going overseas which for me would make it much more worthwhile. Also, I'd likely be one of the older members among younger peers, which is another factor to consider. My entry rank would be E3 due to my associate degree told by the Air force recruiter I met, but I'll need a moral waiver for a misdemeanor I had at 18, which might limit my job options not to mention she told me I would have to be at the disposal of whatever the Air Force wanted me to do? Which I am assuming means that I could enlist for one thing that they tell me nope get your doing this.The Air Force recruiter told me that I would be just fine and I would be able to get in as long as my ASVAB score is high enough.
I'm torn about whether to commit to AD and save myself or a longer term in the military via reserves but still stuck in the same loop of feeling in fulfilled, unable to afford university and in a place I would rather leave. Insights from anyone who joined the military later or faced similar decisions would be incredibly helpful.
Thanks for any advice!
P.S I am also ok with the idea of the military as a career as I would still be able to retire earlier than many of my peers if I pursue the 20 year route..
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I’m reenlisting at the end of this month (was NG but going active). My husband is also active and I was wondering how likely is it that I can be in the same battalion as my husband? I know married couples aren’t supposed to work directly together but would that still be considered “working together”?
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Hi All, I'm 23F graduating college with my bachelor's in international relations at the end of July. I speak intermediate Spanish and would be open to learning more languages. I am looking for a mos that doesn't restrict me to behind a desk or sitting on my ass all day. I was thinking of something intelligence related. I would appreciate any advice/help.
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So i have hemorrhoids right now and I go to MEPS monday. I have a Drs visit from about 2 years ago where she prescribed me the cream to use. The cream says to only use it when you have hemorrhoids. I still have the cream. Will I pass MEPS if I bring that the Dr visit. or should I get a new one the day before? It's Saturday so my recruiter won't answer.
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So I enlisted on Friday. (25H) and I ship to BT in August. I’ve made my mind up before enlisting that I was going to make a career out of it. So now I’m here before you all to ask… what’s some advice you could give someone looking to do 20. Like what’s steps would you take if you could go back to make the most of your Army career? I remember my dad who served in the navy would always say “choose your rate choose your fate” and I think I started off on the right foot. Any suggestions to help make the correct steps in my new career path?
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Going back in. Needing some suggestions on different MOS.
So when I was in the first time I was a 25U. I was 16 when I swore in to secure my mos and left at 18YO. I’ve decicided to go back in. Im picking between 19 jobs, I qualify for all of them as I keep my old asvab scores. I scored over a 105 in everything so I have a pretty big list to pick from. These jobs have good jobs outside of the army and that’s my angle, I know 25U translates to a good job outside of the army but it’s not my cup of tea. So any info on the jobs in the army and civilian life for these mos would be greatly appreciate. The jobs are: 68L 68X (specifically because I want to help vets who are/have suffered) 88H 35F 25B 35M 35G 35L 88K 88N 88U 27D 31E 12M 15Q 15N 25U 88L 88M
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Already signed my contract but I really really wanna change my MOS by the time I ship out for BCT in mid-July, what would be the best way to approach and ask my recruiter to change my MOS? The one that I want is really in demand (19K) so maybe that might help?
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Background: Greencard holder, 6yr+ experience in IT field. No degree. Married.
Always wanted to join the military and finally have the opportunity to do so.
What I want to experience from the military;
I want the opportunity to grow in the IT field and have military experience and later on attain a contractor job in overseas installations. Very interested in being able to move overseas for a few years specially Japan.
My biggest interest is to grow in my career + experience other countries.
Recruits have also told me that for active duty they are allowing first duty station to be chosen because the army apparently has a shortage of people joining so they want to motivate people to join by allowing them to choose duty stations. This has made me consider going active IF they aren't lying about this + the job security has always been a plus to me.
My primary plan was :
Going reserve, getting my citizenship while in basic training, changing my mos to 25B then finding government contracting job overseas preferably (Japan) and changing my unit to Japan to drill there (Camp Zama). Overall my biggest goal is to move overseas and be in the IT field.
What is the best route? Advice is greatly appreciated in advance:)
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I want to enlist as a 19D Wont be for a year or so still but trying to do my research and evrything and make sure this is what i want, So far it looks like it is but i have a couple of questions that i need answering before i decided to enlist. 1. as a 19D with 19C coming will 19D still be manning Bradleys 2. What are my chances of being assigned to a cav unit i really dont wanna be assigned to an infantry or god knows what else 3. Am i able to enlist as active at 17?
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Is it hard to get a self harm waiver? It happened one time three years ago. My recruiter is pushing for it now
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I'm going to MEPS this week and I was told that the Job I'm really interested in (12w) is rare and to not get my hopes up. I'll be doing research about some other jobs, but if I really want that job should I just wait for a slot to open up or go with alternate choices?
Does anyone have any experience with this job and how often slots show up?
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Vision Waiver Acceptance Probability
So I’m wanting to enlist as an 11x OP 4in the army, went to MEPS a few weeks ago, and am currently waiting on a current injury to be waived. I’m just kind of worrying about my vision waiver. Recruiter said we have to wait for this to be cleared first, then we can launch the vision waiver.
What’s the probability that a vision waiver will be accepted with Visual Acuity of 20/30 20/50 corrected vision. I understand everything is case to case, I’m just kind of worrying that it’ll end up being denied.
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Is there a list of all the different Options in contracts? Like Option 40, Option 4, Option 19, etc?
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In the process of renegotiating my contract before shipping out and I'm seriously considering 19K (M1 Armor Crewman). Recruiter told me that anyone can volunteer to go to airborne school at BCT and I really want to go airborne but it seems like 19Ks don't really do it as much as other MOS's. Is it true that i will have the opportunity to volunteer myself for airborne school at basic? If not, how can I attend Airborne or any other specialized school as a tanker?
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Leaving for BT in 2wks. First stop Ft Lenwood and then ft sill for AIT. Then off to Ft Drum for my 1st duty station. Can anyone offer insight on what to expect at each location/stage? 13F if it matters. Much appreciated.
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Just reserved mos 88L Water craft engineer.
Was excited at first as I’ve e heard a lot of good things about this mos, but i have a wife, 6yr old and another on the way and am worried that i wont be home that often given this mos. Im supposed to go to meps in 4 days and swear in. Im really not trying to be away from my family all that often. Is this mos bad for family life? Have i made a mistake? Or should i keep it and roll with it. Any recommendations on what i should do?
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Hello, I’m in ROTC right now but I’m about to go to CST. I have been looking into branches as much as possible and am pretty set on ADA but I wanted to ask if anyone here has been on a HIMAD or SHORAD deployment that can give me some insight on what it’s like, more specifically SHORAD but I do want to hear both sides.
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Joining the army
hi, I am 17 turning 18F, and im joining the army and going to boot camp soon. What are some advice or anything you would tell someone before they go to boot camp or thinking about joining the army?
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Hello, I'm currently a high school senior who is interested in joining the ROTC. I've reached out to ROTC recruiters in the colleges that I will be attending however, they never picked up their phones nor responded to their emails after multiple attempts. I've also scheduled appointments with them only for them to not show up multiple times. I've also called the army and they said they would have someone call me but they never did either. I was wondering if anyone could help me get in touch with an ROTC recruiter as I got a few questions about the Army ROTC as well as the process to proceed.
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Can you go to an maritime academy before your service then get it paid when you join? Can you take maritime academy while active duty?
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What are possible first duty stations for Army officers out of ROTC by MOS?
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Seasonal Allergies Immunotherapy
Hi I’m planning on applying for OCS when I graduate in May. But im currently taking allergy shots for my seasonal allergies. I would have no problem pausing them during basic etc. Resuming when I’m past training, but is this something I have to do? Is it worth having to get a medical waiver for it? Do I need to tell my recruiter?
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Currently in the process of reenlisting as a prior service who was chaptered out in AIT for SI. Submitted and turned over all my paperwork to my recruiter and awaiting MEPS. My recruiter said this is the longest part of the waiting game from his experience. How long should I be expecting to wait realistically? I would ask my recruiter but I feel like I've bothered him enough over the past few weeks lmao. - Thanks!
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Hey guys l need some advice so i'm gonna get straight to the point. I am 20 and a junior in college. I ship in June and i have 3 Mos choices so far. 19D, 11b and 19k. Which do y’all recommend?I'm hardworking and not lazy so yeah. I am joining for many reasons but one of the main reasons is travel. Would I get to do tha much? Thank you
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Hey guys, I enlisted with an airborne contract that has my first assignment at Fort Liberty. How likely is it that I get assigned to the 82nd?
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Weight loss
I'm currently 5% body fat over for the arms 2.0. I'm eating way better and consuming 12-1,500 calories and losing an average of 3,000 calories a day. I've been running/walking 2 miles a day of hill terrain. My recruiter said I need to lose 10 pounds by May 17. I need tips and tricks on how to lose those pounds by then
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Army National Guard recruiter says at MEPS you can choose from several dates to start basic. Is that accurate?
If so, typically how many dates are there to choose from and how far in the future? I have a great civilian job, so would like to know my date as far in advance as possible.
Edit: would go on to traditional state OCS (yea, I know the internet’s opinions on it but it fits my life really well) afterwards.
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I've got 4 years active and 3 years guard under my belt and I've always put in to my tsp to get the match. I know you need 8 years to keep the matching, but my unit has drained what little motivation I had left for the army, and I've decided I'm done. I'm curious if anyone can help me figure out if there's any option that will help me keep my tsp matching besides a 1 year extension. I doubt the IRR counts towards 8 years, and from what I understand, the inactive guard is simply a pause button. So instead of pushing me to 8 years, it's just delaying my 7th till next year or something. I'm also wondering if a future federal job would contribute to that 8 years or if it has to be all concurrent. Thank you for any help or any resources or links yall can send me to figure this out.
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I was wondering if I could join the army with depression, anxiety, and OCD. All diagnosed. I have no suicide attempts or anything like that, no inpatient care either. All of these are somewhat mild and manageable, and I haven't been on any medication. But that was another concern of mine, if I was to get on any medication, would that disqualify me? Thanks a lot.
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Im currently a senior in high school trying to enlist in the army since December but I’m at a loss of what to do. I took the asvab scored a 61 but autism came up on my records from when I was a kid. I had to get a full medical Record for meps then they wanted my pharmacy record and now they want some more records my recruiter made me sign a form for my old doctors to get it from them about a month and a week ago. I called him the earlier this week and he said he Kentucky or Kansas (I didn’t hear him well and forgot) doing some training I honestly just don’t know what to do I’ll graduate from high school in a few weeks and I probably have a month after that before my parents kick me out any advice?
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Hey all, I wanted to get some insight on whether you all think I would be able to enlist with Crohn's. I've seen online that it's generally marked as an "unwaivable medical condition" but sometimes goes on a case by case basis. My IBD is very mild, I honestly forget that I even have the damn disease because it doesnt effect my daily life at all. I have it managed by taking an 8-week biologic but have gone on extended breaks from it before due to insurance reasons (roughly 2-3 months without any meds) and had no flare ups or any issues of the sort. However, my doctor is thinking of switching me to a daily pill (Rinvoq). I don't have any food sensitivities like a lot of Crohn's patients have (caffeine, alcohol, dairy, etc.) and have never had any surgeries nor does my GI doctor think i'll ever need one. I wanted to enlist for a 17C contract as im already in college for tech anyhow, I'm not sure if that would effect my standing. However, dream MOS is 18X but I figure that may be tougher to get by a recruiter. Any advice or thoughts? Army has been my dream forever and I don't want to have to give it up, so I'd really do anything haha.
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I have 2 non violent felonies from 2011 and PTD from 2022 for possession. I've been upfront and honest with my recruiter. He sent me to test today and I scored 63 on Asvab and GT of 113. Is there a chance for me? Thanks in advance. 30 and in great health and shape.
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What bases would you do bmt if your in cyber security and aviation mechanics?
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I ship out in a week. Went to meps and signed in March. Can I change my MOS? Or is it too late ?? I want something language related because I’m fluent in Arabic (already passed DLPT)
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For anyone that has done OSUT at Fort Moore, how long does it typically take before they’ll tell you where your FDS is?
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I have read a few horror stories where someone enlisted with X,Y, or Z in their contract, but after basic they where told something else and could not confirm the original. For example, someone claims they had a specific location through Option 19, only to later be told they are going somewhere else.
My first question is: has this happened to anyone here, and if so and how was it resolved?
My second question is: after signing your contract, how do you gain acess to it later? Do you receive a physical copy for yourself? Can you download a copy? Is there someone you can ask in the Army to retrieve it for you? Will it be acessable on a portal of somekind?
I am considering enlisting with option 19 and the location is very important to me. Thank you!
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Is phone use in BCT only delegated to calls? Also does phone use depend on what phase you're in, like, red phase 20 minutes, blue 30 minutes? Going to jackson
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Not the best time to swear in, waivers
I have all of my waivers approved, however, I won’t be swearing in due to job circumstances. If things change, can I still go back into the army or will I blocked out of it forever?
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I have an AAM and 3 COAs which S1 has been tracking for months but which have yet to reflect on my PPW. Do I have any recourse?
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my recruiter says that I can't get option 4 in my 35W contract but I really want to be airborne as a 35p/m so I have a higher chance of having my skills be put to use. Can i put in for airborne at DLI or AIT? what is the earliest I can do this and how would I go about it? I just went through the normal MEPS process not the airborne physical fyi
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Is a bonus worth choosing the Army over the AF?
In general, I’ve heard that the army’s QoL is less than that of the Air Force. However, the army has way more jobs w bonuses that I’d be interested in. And it’s the same or similar jobs as the Air Force, but w a bonus. I know the Basic Training for army is also longer, but a bonus can be convincing. I have the same question, but in regards to joining the navy as well. I want to focus on my education during my enlistment & get my bachelors & id also like travel opportunities. I haven’t taken my ASVAB yet, it’s scheduled the 16th. I scored rlly well on the PiCAT, and according to those scores I qualify for some army jobs w a bonus. I know it’s not as simple as that, and it’s a whole process & based on what’s available. Just want some opinions on if I was offered an army job w a bonus as opposed to the same/ similar Air Force job without, would you consider it worth it based on your experience?
I already got some answers from a post I made about this, but moderator deleted it and said to comment here. But any additional info/ insight is greatly appreciated. I want to make the best choice for my future in the case that I don't want to do 20 years.
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I'm joining up rn and working with a recruiter. We've got my waivers and everything. Pretty much just have to pick a job. For background I was an IET separation back in 2009. From what I've read and what me and my recruiter have gone over I am glossary non-prior service. I could have sworn I read (albeit a while ago) that business rules did not apply to GNPS, so I should be free to pick my MOS. However, I talked to my recruiter earlier today and he wants me to sit with his 1SG and go over the job options available for prior service. Am I wrong and I just get what I get?
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Please help!
I was looking to join the guard but in my medical records it shows I had Guillan barre. I was feeling some numbness in my legs, but looking back at it, it was very cold outside and I was just a bitch who would try to get out of school by any means possible. They did a spinal tap and never found any trace of the disease however. I was in the hospital for a couple of days, the gave me immunoglobulin and then I went home and nothing ever came of it. I am currently completely asymptomatic This was when I was 12 or 13 years old. Now I’m 18 and want to join but my recruiter said I have to get all the records and stuff. What is the chance that I will still be able to join? I tried looking it up online but I couldn’t find an answer. Also if I’m able to join, will I need a medical waiver?
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My MOS is 68W, I'm shipping out in June and I'm taking the OPAT in a couple of weeks. I'm 5'2 and 115ish pounds. I'm pretty fit. My biggest worry is the standing long jump. I want to pass the OPAT with flying colors and keep my MOS. Is there any advice or tips y'all can give me?
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I’m looking to graduate and enlist in a month but can’t decide on what MOS I want. I think 11B because I don’t want to individuate and do army shit or 68W but I’m not sure if I can get advanced combative training or other schools I want. I want to do something that’s “high speed” and meaningful while working my way towards Ranger reg. Is the 82nd Airborne a good pathway to that? How is civil affairs? Can you enlist directly into it while being active duty?
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Thinking about reenlisting to army with 8.5 PS in USMC. Been out < 5years. Will I have to repeat AIT if I keep my same MOS? I know this is the wrong channel for USMC feedback but also considering going back there if it would mean not repeating AlT. Thanks in advance!
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Hi everyone! I’m a high school student planning on joining the military. I’m Muslim, so I want to be sure that whichever branch I join is accommodating to Muslim needs. If it changes anything, I’m planning joining through the ROTC route.
My main concerns are, does the Army give beard waivers for Muslims? Is it possible to take short breaks throughout the day to pray? Can you fast during Ramadan? Can you be provided with halal (no pork/no alcohol) food?
Also, I’m interested in infantry or armor (or any kind of ground forces officer in general). Would these accommodations interfere with being selected for these careers or being mission ready? (Such as a beard, fasting, etc.)
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i’m a current nasty girl and i’m looking to transfer to Active duty. i understand i need a conditional release in order to sign a new contract and need my G-1 to sign off on it. i’m looking for info on the process from someone who’s gone through the process.
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What are the odds of getting a waiver for ulcerative colitis? I was EPTS’d out in march 2023 after being diagnosed while I was at 30th AG. My GI said I was in remission as of jan of this year. I take 4 Lialda pills a day and get an entyvio infusion every 2 months. I feel perfectly fine now though. Scored a 74 on the asvab.
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Medical record
In the navy currently and getting out in a year. I had a back injury prior to enlisting that I didn’t disclose. I plan on entering the army after my contract. If this comes up will my discharge from the navy be lowered or my benefits revoked?
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So my recruiter told me that I have to get a lease first, but the thing is, is that we don't have one with our landlord. It's more like an oral lease and he's a slumlord who never tries to communicate with any of us. That being said, my recruiter then said that I should find a lease online and edit it to where I state that I'm paying the rent to my sister instead (who has a valid ID) He also stated that my sister and I have to go to a check-cashing place to get it notarized. Is this all ok to do and will the BHA be approved? Also if it's approved, does this mean that the rent we pay which is $1,365.50, is going to be paid for while I'm away and how exactly??
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Can I enlist if I have a Mexican highschool diploma? (I am american, just finished highschool in mexico) And don't have a address in the USA???
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I am thinking of finishing up my bachelors and joining as an officer, my question was whether it was possible or not to guarantee mos 17c in the army if I join as an officer.
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I just got told that I cant enlist for 2 years after my waiver got denied for a history of depression. I stopped feeling depressed last August but got officially cleared into remission in February. I was told theres no point in a consult and the most I can do is reach out to a congressman. Other than reaching out to a congressman, is there really nothing I can do?
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Questions about Virginia National Guard
I want to do OCS! Now here’s my confusion. My recruiter is saying that the moment I swear in is the moment my contract is going to start and will count towards that 6 year! So, if he is right, I will basically complete 2 years training if I do state OCS. But I would like to have more control on what branch I get! My top 3 are: cyber warfare, signal, and intel. Should I do accelerated in that case? Also how likely am I to get one of those aforementioned three if I do state OCS of 18 months? My bachelor was in Computer Engineering, and I am currently enrolled in ASU for master’s pursuing Computer Science! Will I get that 24k a year tuition fee because he said there’s a possibility I might get it since it’s fully online? Can I get tuition assistance and loan repayment both? Does getting either one incur additional service time?
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im thinking of joining as a officer and going into ocs, what is the best branch for a well paying civilian job after completing my service, for context my major right now is relg studies plus maybe bio.
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I leave for Future Soldier Preparatory Course for the fitness aspect on the 21st, has anyone gone through it recently? There’s not a whole lot of information on it online, I was just wondering what it’s like, and what to expect. Do you get issued all of your gear since you will be going to bmt after? What is reception like? Any and all information and tips is greatly appreciated!
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So my husband is going to meps next week. he has 2 different sets of scars on his left arm. He works at a mobile home plant building houses. One was from when he got caught on a nail so it's a little deeper looking and another was from some sheet metal at work. He didn't disclose it to his boss because he works on a line and it would've put his team behind so he just put some bandaids on it and went about his day and cleaned it up when he got home. This was about 1-2 years ago. What is his meps experience going to be like? They aren't self harm obviously but we've heard horror stories about the doctors at meps not believing people and DQ them. He honestly forgot about telling his recruiter and his recruiter has already sent in all his medical history and got him scheduled for meps. Should he still go ahead and tell his recruiter or just wait and disclose it at meps?
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Should i go in as 17c or try my luck at ocs?
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I'm currently in process Enlisting in the Reserve, while holding an associate's degree in mechanical engineering technology, with some side education in programming. While I am working towards my bachelor's degree, I'm looking to pick an MOS that will help my career, or at the very least, be interesting. I don't remember my scores, but my Recruiter told me whatever I pick, my score won't be the limiting factor.
Top of the list for career jobs is 15 series, from what I've heard from currently enlisted in my friend group, wrenching on aircraft in general is a fast track to a cushy job on the outside with my education. 25 series looks boring but useful as anything IT/electrical complements my degree. On the more interesting side, I was looking at 91 series, either 91F or 91P.
Am I going anywhere wrong with any of these jobs? Anything I should be keeping in mind?
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25D or 35T I just wonder which MOS would be better for career. I am really interested in IT. I know 25D is not entry MOS. Let’s say you meet requirements for both MOS. If you stay as enlisted side, what would you recommend?
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I’m heading to ait now at fort Moore for 91M do I get my phone and am I in a dorm how is that like
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Hi all,
I am a permanent resident here is the US, and last week I finished my ASVAB mock test with a 95 on my AFQT. The recruiter says I am eligible for everything that doesn't require a security clearance which is kind of a problem as my dream MOS are the 35-series and 17-series (As both of these are locked behind clearance requirement)
After some thinking, I narrow down to the following, but there are still too many so I hope I can get your feedback on what I am doing. My aims are: a/I want something that will translate into the civilian world well if my time in the army doesn't go well, b/I want an MOS that can advanced through warrant or becoming a commission officer if my time in the army does go well, and c/I want to push myself to the limit and break out of my comfort zone to see where I can go. If I sound arrogant, please forgive for that: I am just trying to be as careful as possible. I am nearly reaching my thirty, and I want to take deliberate steps because I no longer have the luxury of youth and family to try and fail.
The MOS are:
11-series, 12B and 12D: I have a soft spot for these despite knowing they don't translate into the civilian world. But in my heart somewhere is a wild child that wants to test my physical prowess and wants to blow things up. I do know my knees and lower back will hate me for picking this.
15 series: With exceptions to 15C, 15J, and other works related to flying or being mechanics of sensitive equipment, I can be an aircraft technicians. I read that there are demands for airplane mechanics but I don't know much about this field other than a/I got to repair planes, b/people seem to hate it because you have to sign a long contract if you become a warrant.
68A: I did see this MOS getting recommended a lot but after reading its description, I am not very sure if I want to do it either both in the army or afterwards. I must also admit I don't have a good insights onto the day to day life of this job. Can someone shed some light about this MOS for me?
68C: Becoming a nurse seems like a very safe choice out of the military given that the BLS projects nurse to be in high demand and being able to take care of your family sounds like a big plus to me; however, I don't know if I like being a nurse. My parents were doctors, and having seen the hospital environment I can say I am not a fan. I also look into 68A but BLS prospect for it didn't seem good, and the training on 68E, 68D, and 68V look a little bit too short. Do you really become a dental assistant just with 10 weeks of training?
68W: I must admit, I have a soft spot for 68W as it allows me to be both learn some medical skills and be on the field. However, I do notice that 68W only translates to paramedic/EMT post-army, while 68C translates to becoming a nurse (which is more valued and regarded as "better" than paramedic or EMT and thus in higher demand)
88H, 92A, 92F, and 92Y: I pick these because, according to BLS, there is a projected increase need for people in warehousing and transportation. From my limited understanding of the fields, you will be in charge of handling logistics such as maintaining unit inventory, ordering supplies and weapons for your units, etc. but I am not very sure on the difference between, say, 92Y and 92A.
So, can you give me a suggestions? May anyone who has been in these MOS share their experience to help me pick? What are some of the MOS I miss?
Thank you, and I look forward to hearing from you.
Best regards,
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Is the 09m program ending at the end of may?
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How does one secure a religious exemption before basic training? My recruiter said we would talk about it down the line but it’s getting down to the wire and I’d rather it not get forgotten.
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Hi my duty station is at JBLM I’ll hopefully be there around May of 2025. I still have too go through basic and AIT but I was hoping that I could get some info about the barracks and hopefully get in touch with some of the people that are getting stationed/ already stationed There that are aviation, specifically 15Y. Thank you
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How can i improve my chances of success after the military?
I'm going to meps in 2 weeks and im shooting for a 25 series mos. 25H was what was available at the recruiters after i took my practice asvab. I'm not the brightest bulb but, hey, I'll take it. Aside from college ,which i want to continue to pursue throughout my time in the army (or after depending on my mental fortitude once i'm actually in,) how can i set myself up for success in the civilian world? Any input from past 25h or 25 series who somehow translated their career into decent paying jobs will be much appreciated.
I'll add I'm only joining the army for the college benefits and free training as i come from a poor household and have no other feasible way to pay for it.
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Hello everyone,
I was recently laid off from a $64k job, and honestly, I'm not too upset. I was already feeling burnt out and unhappy, staying primarily for the promised educational benefits to facilitate a career change, which obviously fell through with the job loss. Now, I'm considering my options and the military as a new path has been sounding appealing to an extent. The VA loan and GI Bill are particularly enticing because they would help me pursue a degree without getting into debt, and enabling the career change I've been considering. And the thought of being able to buy a house at this age/economy seems awesome.
At 28, I'm weighing the implications of joining now, especially considering the pay cut and spending four years AD without the guarantee of going overseas which for me would make it much more worthwhile. Also, I'd likely be one of the older members among younger peers, which is another factor to consider. My entry rank would be E3 due to my associate degree told by the Air force recruiter I met, but I'll need a moral waiver for a misdemeanor I had at 18, which might limit my job options not to mention she told me I would have to be at the disposal of whatever the Air Force wanted me to do? Which I am assuming means that I could enlist for one thing that they tell me nope get your doing this.The Air Force recruiter told me that I would be just fine and I would be able to get in as long as my ASVAB score is high enough.
I'm torn about whether to commit to AD and save myself or a longer term in the military via reserves but still stuck in the same loop of feeling in fulfilled, unable to afford university and in a place I would rather leave. Insights from anyone who joined the military later or faced similar decisions would be incredibly helpful.
Thanks for any advice!
P.S I am also ok with the idea of the military as a career as I would still be able to retire earlier than many of my peers if I pursue the 20 year route..
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I’m reenlisting at the end of this month (was NG but going active). My husband is also active and I was wondering how likely is it that I can be in the same battalion as my husband? I know married couples aren’t supposed to work directly together but would that still be considered “working together”?
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Hi All, I'm 23F graduating college with my bachelor's in international relations at the end of July. I speak intermediate Spanish and would be open to learning more languages. I am looking for a mos that doesn't restrict me to behind a desk or sitting on my ass all day. I was thinking of something intelligence related. I would appreciate any advice/help.
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So i have hemorrhoids right now and I go to MEPS monday. I have a Drs visit from about 2 years ago where she prescribed me the cream to use. The cream says to only use it when you have hemorrhoids. I still have the cream. Will I pass MEPS if I bring that the Dr visit. or should I get a new one the day before? It's Saturday so my recruiter won't answer.
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So I enlisted on Friday. (25H) and I ship to BT in August. I’ve made my mind up before enlisting that I was going to make a career out of it. So now I’m here before you all to ask… what’s some advice you could give someone looking to do 20. Like what’s steps would you take if you could go back to make the most of your Army career? I remember my dad who served in the navy would always say “choose your rate choose your fate” and I think I started off on the right foot. Any suggestions to help make the correct steps in my new career path?
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Going back in. Needing some suggestions on different MOS.
So when I was in the first time I was a 25U. I was 16 when I swore in to secure my mos and left at 18YO. I’ve decicided to go back in. Im picking between 19 jobs, I qualify for all of them as I keep my old asvab scores. I scored over a 105 in everything so I have a pretty big list to pick from. These jobs have good jobs outside of the army and that’s my angle, I know 25U translates to a good job outside of the army but it’s not my cup of tea. So any info on the jobs in the army and civilian life for these mos would be greatly appreciate. The jobs are: 68L 68X (specifically because I want to help vets who are/have suffered) 88H 35F 25B 35M 35G 35L 88K 88N 88U 27D 31E 12M 15Q 15N 25U 88L 88M
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Already signed my contract but I really really wanna change my MOS by the time I ship out for BCT in mid-July, what would be the best way to approach and ask my recruiter to change my MOS? The one that I want is really in demand (19K) so maybe that might help?
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Background: Greencard holder, 6yr+ experience in IT field. No degree. Married.
Always wanted to join the military and finally have the opportunity to do so.
What I want to experience from the military;
I want the opportunity to grow in the IT field and have military experience and later on attain a contractor job in overseas installations. Very interested in being able to move overseas for a few years specially Japan.
My biggest interest is to grow in my career + experience other countries.
Recruits have also told me that for active duty they are allowing first duty station to be chosen because the army apparently has a shortage of people joining so they want to motivate people to join by allowing them to choose duty stations. This has made me consider going active IF they aren't lying about this + the job security has always been a plus to me.
My primary plan was :
Going reserve, getting my citizenship while in basic training, changing my mos to 25B then finding government contracting job overseas preferably (Japan) and changing my unit to Japan to drill there (Camp Zama). Overall my biggest goal is to move overseas and be in the IT field.
What is the best route? Advice is greatly appreciated in advance:)
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I want to enlist as a 19D Wont be for a year or so still but trying to do my research and evrything and make sure this is what i want, So far it looks like it is but i have a couple of questions that i need answering before i decided to enlist. 1. as a 19D with 19C coming will 19D still be manning Bradleys 2. What are my chances of being assigned to a cav unit i really dont wanna be assigned to an infantry or god knows what else 3. Am i able to enlist as active at 17?
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Is it hard to get a self harm waiver? It happened one time three years ago. My recruiter is pushing for it now
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I'm going to MEPS this week and I was told that the Job I'm really interested in (12w) is rare and to not get my hopes up. I'll be doing research about some other jobs, but if I really want that job should I just wait for a slot to open up or go with alternate choices?
Does anyone have any experience with this job and how often slots show up?
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Vision Waiver Acceptance Probability
So I’m wanting to enlist as an 11x OP 4in the army, went to MEPS a few weeks ago, and am currently waiting on a current injury to be waived. I’m just kind of worrying about my vision waiver. Recruiter said we have to wait for this to be cleared first, then we can launch the vision waiver.
What’s the probability that a vision waiver will be accepted with Visual Acuity of 20/30 20/50 corrected vision. I understand everything is case to case, I’m just kind of worrying that it’ll end up being denied.
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Is there a list of all the different Options in contracts? Like Option 40, Option 4, Option 19, etc?
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In the process of renegotiating my contract before shipping out and I'm seriously considering 19K (M1 Armor Crewman). Recruiter told me that anyone can volunteer to go to airborne school at BCT and I really want to go airborne but it seems like 19Ks don't really do it as much as other MOS's. Is it true that i will have the opportunity to volunteer myself for airborne school at basic? If not, how can I attend Airborne or any other specialized school as a tanker?
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Leaving for BT in 2wks. First stop Ft Lenwood and then ft sill for AIT. Then off to Ft Drum for my 1st duty station. Can anyone offer insight on what to expect at each location/stage? 13F if it matters. Much appreciated.
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Just reserved mos 88L Water craft engineer.
Was excited at first as I’ve e heard a lot of good things about this mos, but i have a wife, 6yr old and another on the way and am worried that i wont be home that often given this mos. Im supposed to go to meps in 4 days and swear in. Im really not trying to be away from my family all that often. Is this mos bad for family life? Have i made a mistake? Or should i keep it and roll with it. Any recommendations on what i should do?
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Hello, I’m in ROTC right now but I’m about to go to CST. I have been looking into branches as much as possible and am pretty set on ADA but I wanted to ask if anyone here has been on a HIMAD or SHORAD deployment that can give me some insight on what it’s like, more specifically SHORAD but I do want to hear both sides.
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Joining the army
hi, I am 17 turning 18F, and im joining the army and going to boot camp soon. What are some advice or anything you would tell someone before they go to boot camp or thinking about joining the army?
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Hello, I'm currently a high school senior who is interested in joining the ROTC. I've reached out to ROTC recruiters in the colleges that I will be attending however, they never picked up their phones nor responded to their emails after multiple attempts. I've also scheduled appointments with them only for them to not show up multiple times. I've also called the army and they said they would have someone call me but they never did either. I was wondering if anyone could help me get in touch with an ROTC recruiter as I got a few questions about the Army ROTC as well as the process to proceed.
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Can you go to an maritime academy before your service then get it paid when you join? Can you take maritime academy while active duty?
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What are possible first duty stations for Army officers out of ROTC by MOS?
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Hi, I am currently working as a para in a 6-8 self-contained classroom. I have wanted to be a special ed teacher ever since I was in kindergarten but due to the intense behaviors in my classroom and the lack of discipline in response to it, I am starting to question that decision. I have been looking into getting certified in both Childhood 1-6 and Social Studies 5-9 instead but a friend of mine has recently suggested I look into becoming an SLP.
I have a very mild-mannered / calm type of personality and am worried that I will not be able to take control of a classroom and have good behavioclassroom management. The smaller group setting of SLP appeals to me since it would be easier to control and manage plus, if you have a behavioral child you only have to deal with them for 1-2 times a week for 30 minutes. The intense workload, pressure, lack of support, and disrespect teachers face daily having to grade endless amounts of work, manage a classroom of 20-30 kids, and especially communicate with parents constantly seems like torture. I am also worried that I will not be able to understand all the content that I need to teach especially in Math which has always been my weakest subject. I also am worried about co-teaching and especially if I am the special ed teacher in the room I would naturally fade into the background or be seen as the weaker teacher. I am already seen this way as a para due to being in my early 20s. However, I do enjoy going into the Middle School Gen Ed Classroom for Clusters and find that I could possibly do that job. I love social studies and am really good at it which is why I want to go for that since I already have the 30 credits to go for additional certification in that area. I also would enjoy teaching ELA I just am worried about whether or not I would be an effective teacher.
Another thing about SLT that I like is that you have much more autonomy over what you can do with kids and it is usually a lot more on the fun side and you can mostly focus on ELA / Language stuff and not have to teach math which is my worst subject. I had speech and language therapy as a child and always loved going there because we always played games and read interesting stories. It was my favorite day of the week.
I also like that you can really tailor what you are doing towards the individual needs of the child and aren't micromanaged by parents and admin. My only hesitation is the coursework required to obtain the master's. The amount of clinicals, prerequisites, and science required for this degree is insane. I am very much an ELA/SS type person and am horrible in Math/Science. I also have ADHD and a Learning Disability and am worried that the coursework will be way too challenging for me. I also do not want to work with adults in clinicals and learn all this medical stuff when all I want to do is work in the school. I am also worried about the distances of the clinicals from whatever college I go to and want everything close by. I currently work within walking distance from my house and am worried that resigning and going for SLP is a risky move since I most likely will not get a job there. If I went for teaching I would be able to do it while still being a para since they have many online or weekend programs. I also would be able to do my student teaching there and wouldn't have to worry about going to these 50 million clinical sites far away from home. I also feel I would have a much higher chance of getting a teaching job there than if I were to do SLP but I am also worried about the workload of teaching which is why I am looking into SLP. I know being an SLP is probably way better than being a teacher nowadays but the schooling just sounds awful. If someone could give me some guidance that would be great.

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𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐈 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐂𝐔𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐒:
Exams & Quizzes: Final rates for exams and quizzes depend on various factors including: whether or not there is proctoring, how many hours the exam is, total number of questions including sub-parts, preferred method of me delivering solutions, whether it's show all work or just the answer only, and whether the assessment has a flexible window of time to complete or a fixed & rigid start and end time.
Full Courses: Final rates for full class help depend all the foregoing plus: total number of hw, quizzes, exams, discussion posts, and other academic tasks left that need to be completed, total number of weeks or modules left in the class to complete.
Essays Papers Discussion Posts: Final rates for writing tasks depend on the required number of words or pages. topic of interest, type of citations, required number and type of sources & bibliography style , level of research required, and type of additional software required to complete the essay like: Excel, R, or Minitab.
𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐌𝐘 𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐒 & 𝐏𝐀𝐘𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐎𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒:

• Rationale for My Rates: I sincerely believe my rates are more than fair considering my education, skills, legitimacy, and the substantial amount of value, stress relief, and saved time & energy I’d be providing you in exchange for my valuable, irretrievable time, energy, and effort.
• Disclaimer About Rates: Services that are reliable and deliver high-quality results are difficult to find and are very high in demand. Thus, I expect to be compensated fairly for all the value, stress relief, and saved time & energy my services provide.
• Payment Methods: Zelle, Apple pay, Btc

I’m willing to do all of the following to help you feel more secure in trusting me with your academic needs:

• Engage in a Telephone interview: Speak with you on the phone and answer any questions you may have.
• Provide Telephone References: Provide you with the contact information of students who have utilized my services in the past who would be more than willing to vouch for my skills.

My Mission: Thank you for taking the time to read my Reddit post. I take what I do very seriously and I always strive to get the highest possible grades for all students who entrust me with their coursework.
Closing Words: Please feel free to reach out to me if you're sincerely interested in having help you with your school work. I am available via text and phone almost 24/7/365.
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