SGI and Scientology - Scientology
Is SGI basically Scientology? - Scientology
Scientology takes a page from SGI's book in promoting itself - hosting a "Charity Coalition" - Scientology
Non-SGI Cult trolls trying to sell their cult at us - Transcendental Meditation (TM) and New Kadampa Tradition (NKT)
[How many of you do well with the "Because I said so" approach? The exaggerated (and exaggeratedly dysfunctional) pseudo-family structure of SGI](https://www.reddit.com/sgiwhistleblowers/comments/uwfo2a/how_many_of_you_do_well_with_the_because_i_said/ - NKT
Similarities between NKT and SGI - NKT, Karmapa, Diamond Way
Anyone ever heard of the NKT-IKBU (New Kadampa Tradition - International Kadampa Buddhist Union) religious cult? - New Kadampa Tradition (NKT), NKT-IKBU (New Kadampa Tradition - International Kadampa Buddhist Union)
We just had a New Kadampa Tradition fanstan show up to sniffily attempt to school us on using "biased" sources
ex-SGI Member speaks out on a podcast - New Kadampa Tradition (NKT), NKT-IKBU (New Kadampa Tradition - International Kadampa Buddhist Union)
SGI Fail: they're on the "Stay Away From These Groups" list in NewBuddhists - New Kadampa Tradition/Shugden, Shambhala, Diamond Way, Triratna Buddhist Community, Soka Gakkai (SGI) Nicheren, Secular Buddhist, Jodo Shinshu Shinrankai Sect, Hanmi Buddhism/Dechan Jueren, Dharma Ocean by Reggie Ray

If you come across any establishment that says the following: SGI, Diamond Way or New Kadampa Tradition (NKT), swiftly walk in the opposite direction. Source

They'll tell you to "Ignore the rumors and 'tabloid gossip'/Don't look them up online because people say it's a cult when it isn't." - Diamond Way Karmapa Tradition
Shambhala - Shambhala
Let's talk about another cult in the news: NXIVM - NXIVM
NXIVM Cult
The cult-shaped hole and cult-hopping - NXIVM
NXIVM, Scientology and Beyond w/Mark Vicente - Sensibly Speaking #404 - NXIVM, Scientology
NXIVM cult parallels - The Vow
Similarities between SGI and NXVIM - NXIVM
USA Cult Leader Sentenced To 120 Years In Prison - NXIVM
How to spot a cult - NXIVM Ted Talk
NXIVM Update: Allison Mack's regrets certainly apply to SGI cult as well - NXIVM
Communal Abuse and Cults: Tactics and Traits of a Cult Leader - NXIVM, LoveHasWon
Is it legal to Mummify Your Cult leader? - LoveHasWon
“I had no idea what I was getting into.” - NXIVM, Children of God/The Family, Moonies
Another woo-based cult of personality: Sydney Banks' "Three Principles" - Sydney Banks, aka Syd Banks, Three Principles, "Psychology of Mind" (POM)
Myths around the 3 Principles Understanding - Sydney Banks, aka Syd Banks, Three Principles, "Psychology of Mind" (POM)
Discussion about 3 Principles - Sydney Banks, aka Syd Banks, Three Principles, "Psychology of Mind" (POM)
Have I been scammed yet again? - Sydney Banks, aka Syd Banks, Three Principles, "Psychology of Mind" (POM)
EXCELLENT podcast about MLM scams - sooooo many similarities to the SGI cult! - MLM
SGI & MLMs - MLM
The Cult Psychology Behind MLMs (Multi-Level Marketing Scams) - MLM
SGI is a pyramid scheme... With zero advantages for their "sellers" - MLM
SGI indistinguishable from any other multi-level marketing scam - I mean "scheme" - MLM
SGI and Lularoe - MLM, LuLaRoe
'Value Creation Society' = Money Making MLM
Ever notice how many SGI members were into MLMs, homeopathy, and other ridiculous woo? - MLM
How SGI exploits the same kind of wish-fulfillment thinking MLMs do - MLM
MLM or Game Show OR Cult? Can you spot the difference? - MLM + the magic suitcase
Financial Cults: MLMs, Christianity, and SGI - MLM
Why Is SGI A Cult - Jehovah's Witnesses
"'If you call me Sifu, mean it…' Everyone just starts calling him 'Sifu'… That' like a fuckin' cult." Finding Parallels between MLM scam and Soka Gakkai. - Dan Lok, fake financial gurus, MLM
Cult Case Study: SoulCycle - SoulCycle
The mechanics of the private language used by cults like SGI - CrossFit
SGI similarity to Werner Erhard's est cult - est was renamed Landmark
My friend was radicalized at a 5 day seminar at a hotel - Mastery in Transformational Training (MITT)
A functional definition of a "cult" - The Supreme Master Ching Hai, vegan cult
The Supreme Master Ching Hai cult - vegan cult
THE SGI IS NOT A CULT!!!! IT'S THE FURTHEST THING FROM A CULT! ITS ABOUT EMPOWERMENT, WORLD PEACE, EQUALITY, EDUCATION, CREATING VALUE AND THE DIGNITY OF HUMAN LIFE! - The Supreme Master Ching Hai
Cults and the Mind-Body Connection: A form of soul murder - Moonies, Transcendental Meditation (TM), Hare Krishna, Children of God, Jesus Freaks, The Way International, the Mormon Church, Aesthetic Realism, est (Landmark), Maharishi International (yoga)
"When was the last time they saw a good family convert?" - Mormons
"This Woman Shared How She Unwittingly Joined A Cult" (tip o' the hat to Starshine333) - kundalini yoga, derivative of Yogi Bhajan
Mikhail Gorbachev also met with Kundalini yoga cult leader Yogi Bhajan - kundalini yoga
From elsewhere on reddit: Disturbing info about Yogi Tea being owned by a cult - Yogi Bhajan, kundalini yoga
Cult eateries: Yogi Tea (Yogi Bhajan); The Loving Hut (the Supreme Master Ching Hai); Yellow Deli (The Twelve Tribes)
SGI is falling apart at the seams: Hurrah!

We'll NEVER be free from that fatass loser because the Soka Gakkai has unlimited money it will continue to need to launder. There are always a few weirdos in society who will join whatever strange, fringe religion is around - look at Scientology, the Moonies, the snake handlers and poison drinkers, the Hare Krishnas, the Supreme Master Ching Hai vegan cult, those loonie "Look at us; we're more Jewish than the Jews" yokels who run the Yellow Deli cult restaurants [The Twelve Tribes], David Koresh's little cult of weirdos, and Jim Jones' People's Temple and the Heaven's Gate suicide cults. That last one even included castration! The moral of the story is that there are ALWAYS a few nutters who will join these groups, no matter how crazy the groups are or how much it costs the joiners. Source

1997 US Newspaper article about cults in wake of Heaven's Gate suicides - Heaven's Gate
A close brush with Heaven's Gate - Heaven's Gate

From anti-cult lawyer Paul Morantz' book "Escape: My Lifelong Fight Against Cults" - Synanon, Scientology, Hare Krishna, Landmark (formerly est), John Walker Lindh and Osama bin Laden, Leslie Van Houten and Charles Manson

But don't mistake me for some cliché bleeding heart. Despite all the time I've spent defending cult victims, despite all the knowledge I've gained about the power of charismatic leaders to manipulate the vulnerable into committing unconscionable acts, I do not advocate some magic get-out-of-jail-free card for their victims. There must be accountability and there must be punishment to deter those who feel justified in taking hte law into their own hands in the name of some twisted political or spiritual master. The Constitution guarantees us the freedom to believe what we want; it doesn't entitle us to commit criminal acts in support of those beliefs, even when convinced they serve a higher purpose. And it makes no difference whether the beliefs are adopted voluntarily or through coercion. Not all who are forced to accept new beliefs commit criminal acts and when they do, they know they are breaking the law.
But I do advocate understanding and compassion. We must temper our fear and outrage against those who might have lived, or could resume living, ordinary lives absent the exposure to destructive cult leaders. Persuasive evidence exists that the effects of brainwashing dissipate quickly when the victim is removed from the influence of the group. Source

Cults in the movies
"Frankly speaking, it's clear that the world doesn't need religion anymore." - Japan's New Religions (including Soka Gakkai) and COVID-19 - Japan's New Religions
Another of Japan's New Religion cults: Happy Science - Happy Science (one of Japan's New Religions)
Normalizing the cult experience

“We want to find out how it is that a difficult childhood reaches across decades to break down the body in middle age and later.” Source

Cult compounds in Florida - Scientology, Supreme Master Ching Hai, Yogi Bhajan

Saturday June 1

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
18th Ward Brewing	New Colossus presents Summer Saturdays feat. Gardenia + Bloody Your Hands + Balloon Snake + The Coral Cables + Vicious Fishes	1pm, FREE
Trans-Pecos	Backyard Matinee feat. Heavenly + Widowspeak + Franz Charcoal	3pm, $30
Berlin	Little Fuss + Parents + Vvii + Looms	7:30pm, $15
The Broadway	Upper Wilds + Mountain Movers + Bong Wish + Discreet Charms	8pm, $15
Brooklyn Monarch	Marcyline + Bedridden + Velvet + Crate	7pm, $12
Main Drag	A Very Special Episode + Catty + Power Pose + Blood of the Bull	8pm, $15
Maker Space (SI)	Punk Rock Mini Golf feat. Mary Shelley + Dead tooth + The Dracu-Las + Engine Hyms	Golf at 3pm, music at 6pm, $15
Market Hotel	HEAVENLY + Trinket	8pm, SOLD OUT
Webster Hall	Passion Pit + Matt Smith (Nervous System)	pm, SOLD OUT
Purgatory	Zine Release Party: "An Oral History of Brooklyn Transcore" feat. Beef + Chico Raro + Adult Human Females	11pm, $15

Sunday June 2

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Union Pool	Summer Thunder feat. Guerilla Toss (5:30) + PC Worship (3:30)	3:30pm, FREE
The Broadway	Fat Heaven + QWAM + Bala Rise + Nostranders	8pm, $15
Gold Sounds	TV Moms + Wifeknife + TitDickAss + The High Stride	8pm, $15

Monday June 3

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Mathilde	Granite to Glass + A Very Special Episode + Nihiloceros	7pm, FREE
Baby's All Right	Grim Streaker + Pure Adult	10pm, $15

Tuesday June 4

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Elsewhere - Hall	of Montreal + Godcaster	9pm, $35
Forest Hills Stadium	Hozier + Allison Russell	7pm, SOLD OUT

Wednesday June 5

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Brooklyn Steel	Microwave + Origami Angel + Heart Attack Man + Carpool Tunnel	6:45pm, $30
Gold Sounds	PYNKIE + Retail Drugs + Laughing Stock + Mariah Houston	7:30pm, $15
Forest Hills Stadium	Hozier + Allison Russell	7pm, SOLD OUT
Hart Bar	Kira Metcalf + Ben Pagano + Robot Princess + Fury Young	8pm, $15
Rubulad	Rat Palace Dust-Free Home record release show + Fair Visions + Wally + Moon Sand Land	8pm, $15

Thursday June 6

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
ALPHAVILLE	Joyce + Church Crush + Lukka + The Plebs	8:30pm, $15
Elsewhere - Zone One	Snarls + Sunshine Scott	8pm, $20
Knitting Factory @ Baker Falls	Razor Braids Big Wave record release show + Strawberry Launch + Jane Lai	8:30pm, $15
Union Pool	Benefit for NYS Mental Health Ass'n feat. Gustaf + Two-Man Giant Squid	8pm, $20

Friday June 7

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Bowery Ballroom	The Killers	9pm, SOLD OUT
Flushing Meadows-Corona Park	Gov Ball Day 1 feat. Post Malone + Alex G + Goth Babe + Donna Missal + Blondshell etc.	12pm, $180/day or $360 for 3-day pass
Rubulad	Happen Twice presents Quiet Light + Trophy Wife + Nara's Room + Jumplink	8pm, $15
TV EYE	Fear City presents Oh Bondage, Up Yours! Vol. 2 (Day 1) feat. Miranda and The Beat + Judy and the Jerks + Mirrored Hell + Linda and the Losers + The Trashers + The Tasteless Treats + Badzy + Femcel	8pm, $30 ($50 2-day pass)
White Eagle Hall (JC)	The Menzingers + Lucero + The Dirty Nil	8pm, SOLD OUT
The Wood Shop	Saint Vitus presents Dosser + Glimmer + Wax Girl	7pm, $15
Mercury Lounge	Gov Ball After Dark feat. Skizzy Mars + Hotline TNT	midnight, $30

Saturday June 8

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Flushing Meadows-Corona Park	Gov Ball Day 2 feat. The Killers + Carly Rae Jepsen + TV Girl + Hippo Campus + The Thing etc.	12pm, $180/day or $360 for 3-day pass
Randall's Island Park	Punk Island 16 feat. over 60 bands including 95 Bulls, Crazy & the Brains Crush Fund, Dead Tooth, Femcel, Francie Moon, Frida Kill, Rats en Zelo, Shred Flintstone, SKORTS, Timeless Clock, TDA and Tula Vera	Noon, FREE
18th Ward Brewing	New Colossus presents Summer Saturdays - Shoegaze Party feat. Book/Spirit + Glimmer + Talking to Shadows + Hesitant + Iceblynk	1pm, FREE
ALPHAVILLE	Beeef + Namesake + DD Island	8:30pm, $15
Baby's All Right	Genesis P-Orridge Tribute Concert feat. Mbrs of Psychic TV + Christeeene + David J (Bauhaus/Love & Rockets + Cynthia Sley (Bush Tetras) + Shilpa Ray + Laura Jane Grace + Tori + Wolf Time Wharp + John Jackson + more	$25
The Broadway	Friendship Quest 5 feat. Ogbert the Nerd + pulses. + Blind Equation + Ultra Deluxe + ok, cuddle + Wifey	6:30pm, $20
Knitting Factory @ Baker Falls	Swansea Sound + Young Adult Friction + Jeanines	8:30pm, $18
Maker Space (SI)	Punk Rock Mini Golf feat. Andy Ellison + Maker Park Radio Stars + Boz Boorer + Big Bliss + The Challenged	Golf at 3pm, music at 6pm, $15
Music Hall of Williamsburg	Say She She + Miranda & the Beat	8pm, $30
Sleepwalk	Consumables + Ruby Lou + Opera	7:45pm, $15
The Sultan Room	Ghost Funk Orchestra + ISTA + Arc of Quasar	8pm, $15
TV EYE	Fear City presents Oh Bondage, Up Yours! Vol. 2 (Day 2) feat. Nikki Corvette + Hayley and the Crushers + Happy Body + FAFA + Silver Dagger + Phagocyte + Frida Kill + Tracy City	8pm, $30 ($50 2-day pass)
Union Pool	Spencer Krug + Lillian King	8pm, $20
White Eagle Hall (JC)	The Menzingers + Lucero + The Dirty Nil	8pm, SOLD OUT

Sunday June 9

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Flushing Meadows-Corona Park	Gov Ball Day 3 feat. SZA + Cannons + Beach Fossils + Geese + Hotline TNT etc.	12pm, $180/day or $360 for 3-day pass
Our Wicked Lady	Jonathan Toubin's Sunday Soul Scream / TV EYE Takeover feat. Miranda & the Beat + Jarito & La Ondo + Mala Vista + Shop Talk + Gargoyle + All Cats Are Grey + Genuine Connection + Dita & The Hurricane	4pm, $20
Berlin	onelinedrawing + Common Sage + Calling Hours	7:30pm, $15
Bowery Ballroom	The Antlers + Okkervil River	8pm, $30
The Broadway	The Macks + Shred Flintstone + Cinemartyr	8:30pm, $15
The Meadows	Alien Ant Farm + Kaleido + Back From Zero	8pm, $25
Mercury Lounge	Gluehead + Book/Spirit + Little Slugger	8:30pm, $15
Trans-Pecos	Shadow Monster + Trash Boy + A Very Special Episode + The Black Black	7:30pm, $15

Monday June 10

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
TV EYE	Bloomsday + daneshevskaya + Lily Seabird	8pm, $15

Tuesday June 11

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Berlin	Anna Altman + Kait Eldridge + The Heart Attack-acks	7:30pm, $15
Bushwick Public House	Husbandwife + Phantom Wave + Navel Grazr	8pm, $15
Radio City Music Hall	WFUV presents Gary Clark Jr.	8pm, $45+
Sleepwalk	The Sees + Karabas Barabas	7:30pm, $15

Wednesday June 12

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Bar Freda	Cash Bribe/DAD tour kickoff show + Challice + Deep Fake + Throbb Dylan	8:30pm, $15
Brooklyn Made	Diary + Trinket + Starcleaner Reunion	8pm, $15
Music Hall of Williamsburg	BOECKNER	8pm, $25
Unit J	Buck Gooter + Centennial Gardens + STUY + Ships In The Night,	8pm, $15

Thursday June 13

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Central Park SummerStage	Kim Gordon + The Sun Ra Arkestra + Slauson Malone 1	5pm, FREE
Baby's All Right	Bnny + Lionlimb + Sister	7pm, $18
Bowery Ballroom	Raveonettes + Soap Horse	9pm, SOLD OUT
Our Wicked Lady	Low Presh + Phantom Signals + Jelly Kelly + Boyscout Marie	8pm, $15
The Sultan Room	Jimi Lucid + Heavy Halo + Arverne + Two Point Oh	8pm, $15
Webster Hall	Saosin + Cove Reber + Secrets + Body Thief	8pm, $30
Baby's All Right	Mind Shrine + Plastic Picnic + Benet	10pm, $15

Friday June 14

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Bowery Ballroom	Raveonettes + Soap Horse	9pm, $30
The Broadway	The Umbrellas + The Smashing Times + Lightheaded	9pm, $15
Gramercy Theatre	Aaron West and the Roaring Twenties + Future Teens	7pm, SOLD OUT
Main Drag	Russian Baths record release show + Parlor Walls + Big Bliss	8:30pm, $15
Purgatory	P.H.0 + Superswell + Alchemy + Toska	7:30pm, $12
The Sultan Room	Short Porch + Good Time Mystery Vision + Nihiloceros + Locations	7pm, $15
Warsaw	Protomartyr + Corridor + Fashion Club	8pm, $25

Saturday June 15

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
18th Ward Brewing	New Colossus presents Summer Saturdays feat. Tygersounds + Real Burn + Outer Shapes + The Meeks + Hiding Places	1pm, FREE
Forest Hills Stadium	Pixies + Modest Mouse + Cat Power	5:30pm, $60+
Heaven Can Wait	Jenny Alien + Prophet Thaddeus + Rat Palace + slowtoe	7:30pm, $15
(le) poisson rouge	Liturgy + Body Void	7pm, $25
Mercury Lounge	Alex Orange Drink + Tall Juan + John Gallagher Jr. + Greensleeves	9:30pm, $18
Sony Hall	Blue Note Jazz Festival feat. Sun Ra Archestra + Yo La Tengo	8pm, SOLD OUT
The Wood Shop	Authentic Productions NYC presents Rebelmatic + Year of the Dragon (mbrs of Fishbone) + Butterbrain + Hecho en Brooklyn	7pm, $20
TV EYE	Wild Yaks Monumental Deeds album release show + Shilpa Ray + Marked for Death	7:30pm, $17
Warsaw	Los Campesinos! + Short Fictions + Los Eclipses	9pm, SOLD OUT

Sunday June 16

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Bar Freda	Balaclava + Shrudd + Jug & the Bugs + B.A.D.G.E.	8:30pm, $15
The Broadway	Sex Mex + Cronies + Joudy	8pm, $15
Our Wicked Lady	Jonathan Toubin's Sunday Soul Scream feat. Puzzled Panther + The Telescreens + La Banda Chuska	8pm, $15

Monday June 17

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Elsewhere - Zone One	Last Dinosaurs	8pm, SOLD OUT
Heaven Can Wait	Torture and the Desert Spiders + Trophy Wife + The Living Roomers	8pm, $15

Tuesday June 18

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Bowery Ballroom	Bad Suns	8pm, SOLD OUT
Knitting Factory @ Baker Falls	Hey Cowboy + Lightheaded + Nara's Room + Starcleaner Reunion	8:30pm, $15
Music Hall of Williamsburg	Bonny Light Horseman + Alpha Consumer	8pm, $35
Our Wicked Lady	Red Tank! + Desert Sharks + Big Band	8pm, $15

Wednesday June 19

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Elsewhere - Hall	White Reaper + Spiritual Cramp + Smirk	8:30pm, $25
Music Hall of Williamsburg	Bonny Light Horseman + Bridget St John	8pm, $35

Thursday June 20

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
The Broadway	Slomo Sapiens + Heavy Feather & The Magic Word + Jet Daisy	8:30pm, $15
Brooklyn Paramount	WFUV presents The Church + The Afghan Whigs + Kristin Hersh	8pm, SOLD OUT
Music Hall of Williamsburg	Pallbearer + REZN + The Keening	8pm, $25
Purgatory	Hey Cowboy! + Lightheaded + April Fools	8pm, $12
Radio City Music Hall	Future Islands + Ed Schrader's Music Beat	8pm, $40+
TV EYE	This Is Lorelei Box For Buddy, Box for Star album release show + Zero Point Energy + Rom Com	7:30pm, $15
Webster Hall	Camera Obscura + Photo Ops	8pm, $35
The Windjammer	The Footlight presents Bob Piggins + No One and the Somebodies + Aisle Knot + Jupiter Boys	8:30pm, $15
Baby's All Right	Airiel + Blushing + Bodywash	10pm, $15

Friday June 21

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
ALPHAVILLE	Lola Star + Boyscoutmarie + Bruiser and Bicycle + Wiring	8:30pm, $15
Beacon Theatre	Wilco + Cut Worms	7:30pm, SOLD OUT
Berlin	Wrong Choice Records presents Hot Sweaty Summer feat. Blanket Approval + Niño Disco + Monarch + The Fictionals	7:30pm, $12
Brooklyn Paramount	Dillinger Escape Plan + Car Bomb + Candy	7pm, SOLD OUT
Main Drag Music	Stay Inside + Arcadia Grey + Summerbruise + The Big Easy	8:15pm, $15
Baby's All Right	Been Stellar Scream From New York, NY album release show + High.	11pm, $15

Saturday June 22

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
18th Ward Brewing	New Colossus presents Summer Saturdays feat. Gardenia + Bloody Your Hands + Balloon Snake + The Coral Cables + Vicious Fishes	1pm, FREE
ALPHAVILLE	Uncle Skunk Uncle Skunk II release show + Wince + Screwbawl	8:30pm, $15
Bar Freda	Castle Black record release show + Onesie + Le Big Zero	8:30pm, $15
Beacon Theatre	Wilco + Cut Worms	7:30pm, SOLD OUT
The Bowery Electric	Rock For Light: A Benefit for HR of Bad Brains feat. Eugene Hutz of Gogol Bordello + Jimmy G of Murphy's Law + more	8pm, $20+
Brooklyn Paramount	Dillinger Escape Plan + The Callous Daoboys + Deadguy	7pm, SOLD OUT
Knitting Factory @ Baker Falls	Kiwi Jr. + Ducks Ltd. + Culture Tax	8:30pm, $15
Knockdown Center	Outline:Summer feat. The Armed + King Woman + Chat Pile + Cloakroom + Ragana + Couch Slut	7pm, $30
Mercury Lounge	Mary Shelley record release show + Pons + Skorts	6:30pm, $15
Union Pool	Couvo + Fina + Reclining Nude	8pm, $15

Sunday June 23

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Union Pool	Summer Thunder feat. Armand Hammer (5:30) + Cavalier (3:30)	3:30pm, FREE
Brooklyn Paramount	Dillinger Escape Plan + Deadguy + Candy + Car Bomb + The Callous Daoboys	7pm, SOLD OUT
Knitting Factory @ Baker Falls	Dogs On Shady Lane + Hello Shark + Sister.	7:30pm, $15
Our Wicked Lady	Jonathan Toubin's Sunday Soul Scream feat. 95 Bulls + Prints	8pm, $15
Warsaw	Ted Leo and The Pharmacists' Shake The Sheets 20th Anniversary + Ekko Astral	8pm, SOLD OUT

Monday June 24

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Beacon Theatre	Wilco + Cut Worms	7:30pm, $80+
Our Wicked Lady	Penny + Nite Music + Hasty + Familiar Looks fka Big Oil	8pm, $15
TV EYE	Fair Visions + Lukka + Diary + Endearments	7:30pm, $15

Tuesday June 25

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Baby's All Right	Echoes for Gaza: A Benefit Concert for Palestine feat. AceMo + duendita + Frankie Cosmos + many more	8pm, $110 ($20 for livestream access)
Bowery Ballroom	Mdou Moctar + J.R.C.G.	8pm, $30

Wednesday June 26

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Berlin	Upper Wilds + Che Arthur + Blank Account + Silversun Pickups DJ set	7:30pm, $12
Mercury Lounge	Lorraine Leckie & Her Demons + Grasping Straws	6:30pm, $15
Our Wicked Lady	OP's Birthday Benefit Show all proceeds go to Willie Mae Rock Camp feat. Strawberry Glass + PYNKIE + Anna Altman + Catty + Toska	7:30pm, $15
Warsaw	Mdou Moctar + J.R.C.G.	8pm, $30

Thursday June 27

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Baby's All Right	PRONOUN + Um Jennifer?	7pm, $20
The Broadway	Rui Gabriel + Foyer Red + Kolb	9pm, $15
Brooklyn Steel	Silversun Pickups	8pm, $45
Central Park SummerStage	Ethel Cain + Teethe	6pm, SOLD OUT
Knitting Factory @ Baker Falls	Bugsy + Scarlet Demore + Crush Fund	8:30pm, $15
Sundown	Anika Pyle + Julia Blair + Trace Mountains + Slight Of	7:30pm, $15
The Wood Shop	Collective Effort NYC presents Foxtails + Satón + Solace + Good for Willow	8pm, $15

Friday June 28

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
ALPHAVILLE	Tennis Courts + Range Life + The Vaughns + Marigold	8:30pm, $15
Bowery Ballroom	Quasi + Marnie Stern	9pm, $30
Brooklyn Bowl	World Music Institute x Blue Note Jazz Festival present Os Mutantes	8pm, $30
Bryant Park	Bryant Park Annual Emerging Artists Festival Day 1 feat. Chanel Beads + Mei Semones + Los Esplifs	7pm, FREE
Gramercy Theatre	The Spill Canvas + Driveways + A Balance Between	7pm, $30
Heaven Can Wait	Joudy + Tooth Lures A Fang + A Very Special Episode + The Planes	8pm, E$12
Knitting Factory @ Baker Falls	New Colossus Festival x Super Bock present King Bug + Prewn + Arverne + Silent Mass + Ready Atlantic	7:30pm, $15
Music Hall of Williamsburg	Middle Kids + Gordi	9pm, SOLD OUT
Our Wicked Lady	Pop Music Fever Dream + Weeping Icon + QIRL + 973 Future Yook	8pm, $15
The Rockaway Hotel	Say She She + Ghost Funk Orchestra	7:30pm, $30

Saturday June 29

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
18th Ward Brewing	New Colossus presents Summer Saturdays feat. Gardenia + Bloody Your Hands + Balloon Snake + The Coral Cables + Vicious Fishes	1pm, FREE
Public Records - The Nursery	RJD2	3pm, $30
Bryant Park	Bryant Park Annual Emerging Artists Festival Day 2 feat. Horsegirl + Hannah Jadagu + Bloomsday + Greg Mendez + @	7pm, FREE
East Williamsburg Econolodge	Eye Roller + Navel Grazr + The Plebs	9pm, $10
Mercury Lounge	Strand of Oaks (solo) + Lucas Rinz	6:30pm, $26
Mercury Lounge	Strand of Oaks (solo) + Pat Finnerty	9:30pm, $26
Music Hall of Williamsburg	I Am The Avalanche + BE WELL + Such Gold	7:30pm, $25
Our Wicked Lady	SKORTS record release show + Tea Eater + Balaclava + Debbie Dopamine	8pm, $15

Sunday June 30

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Tompkins Square Park	Gustaf + Shred Flintstone	3pm, FREE
(le) poisson rouge	W.I.T.C.H. + Rahill + Roge	7:30pm, $30
TV EYE	Lip Critic + Shiverboard + Programmique	7:30pm, $20
Union Pool	Cathedral Bells + Middle Part + Video Days	9pm, $15
The Wood Shop	Actor Observer + Sharkswimmer + Sleepwell + Husbandry	7pm, $15

^{last updated 6/6 6:56pm}

Part 1
Part 2
Content Warning: Child Abuse
***
Darkness gave way to dimness as I opened my eyes and saw slivers of gray light printed on the ceiling like lines on the page of a ruled notebook. In the distance, I heard the sound of pans clanking against the kitchen stove, and I became ever-aware of the scent of cinnamon and bacon sneaking in from under my closed bedroom door. For a moment, I was back in sixth grade. My dad was downstairs cooking up his famous from-scratch buttermilk pancakes and cheesy scrambled eggs. It was probably 7:00, maybe 7:05, and I had fifteen minutes to get up, shower, dress, eat, then it was off to Middle School with dad: for me to learn, him to work.
It was the day we were set to be assigned our Ancient Civilizations project. Unless something went terribly wrong, I would be choosing Ancient Rome. I didn't know much about it, other than it was some great empire, but even then I didn't really understand what an empire was. I was just happy that I would get to build something with my dad. I turned on my side and looked at the closed blinds, the source of the gray lines, then the cabinet with all my trophies, and finally the wobbly, firetruck-red chair pushed under my desk. I was home at last. The past fifteen years were nothing but a dream. There was no blinking. No malevolent demon chasing me. No inexplicable chaos…
It was a sweet fantasy. But one that became bitter the longer I tried to chew on it.
I swept my legs out from under the covers and sat, face-down, on the corner of my twin mattress. My feet were adult's feet. My room was my former room. And that was Trent downstairs cooking breakfast. Unless, of course, it was my dad, in which case I'd have bigger problems than merely waking up from a good dream.
After changing into a fresh shirt and pants, I went downstairs and saw that it was, in fact, Trent cooking breakfast. He was wearing a plain t-shirt through which I could see the ripples of his large back muscles as he whisked what I presumed was pancake batter. He must not have heard me, because he didn't turn around when I made it to the end of the hall. I leaned against the wall, arms folded, and watched him for a minute as he finished whisking the batter, then poured it onto a hot griddle (spilling a few dribbles on the counter in the process), watched it bubble, flipped it, then transferred the golden medallion onto a plate stacked five high. Next to the pancakes was a plate filled with bacon, and a small aluminum pan of scrambled eggs.
"Smells good," I said at last. "Find everything okay?"
I thought I might startle him with my abrupt appearance; instead, Trent looked over his shoulder, chewing on a piece of bacon. He swallowed and said, "Oh, it's you. Yeah, I hope you don't mind me using your kitchen. I thought I'd make us some breakfast."
It occurred to me then that Trent likely wasn't a guest in other people's homes very often. Lucky for him, I didn't mind him using a kitchen that hadn't been mine in many years. I was going to tell him as much when I saw an opened box of Bisquick sitting on the counter. I pointed to it and asked, "you found that in the pantry? My dad usually makes his pancakes from scratch."
He turned to look at the box, then back at me. "No, I went out and got that. And the bacon and eggs. I didn't want to dig into your supply without asking, and you were asleep, so..."
I felt my eyebrows furrow as I checked the time on the stove-clock. "It's 8:17 in the morning. Are you telling me you went out to the store, bought all these ingredients, then came back and cooked them? Just how early did you get up?"
"Around five," he answered as casually as if I had asked his dog's name. "I don't usually get much sleep. Around four, five hours is all I need. It's actually unusual for Antennas to need more than that amount. But I suppose you are unusual."
I opened my mouth in disbelief. Not only had he commandeered my kitchen, he was calling me unusual? At 8-fricken-17 in the morning?
"Sorry," Trent said, reading my expression, "I'm… well, let's just say I've not had many personal relationships. I'm used to being blunt. It's just easier that way." He took out a plate and transferred two pancakes, some eggs, and a few slices of bacon onto it. Then he held it up to me as a peace offering.
I sighed. "This better be good," I said with a wry smile and took the plate.
"Trent-certified, but no guarantees. Refunds not allowed." He replied, which made me giggle.
We sat across from one another at the dining room table. The meal was pretty good, but it was no dad's special: the pancakes were clearly box pancakes, the scrambled eggs lacked cheese and had a little too much pepper, and the bacon was… well it was bacon, no complaints there. Still, it was nice to settle down and have a somewhat normal morning.
After we ate, Trent unfurled the long arc of his life, which began as the second youngest brother of eight siblings in rural Oklahoma. Trent's 'pops' was in the logging business, first as a lumberjack, then as an owner of his own logging company. His dad acquired the business while Trent was still young, so school was never a high priority for him—at least not the way contributing to the household was. The rest of his childhood he summed up in two lessons: "Being 'close' has nothing to do with distance," and "don't touch strange plants in the woods."
I asked him if he kept in touch with any of his siblings, to which he responded, saying, "The only reason they haven't had a funeral for me is because it would be too much work." When I asked him to elaborate, he said he'd not had contact with anyone in his immediate family for over a decade. He kept tabs on them. For example, he knew his mother had dementia, and his dad was forced into retirement by his oldest brother (who had gone on to take over the logging company). His sisters were all married and moved to other parts of the country. He considered reaching out several times, but his situation required a degree of security that wasn't conducive of close family ties, not that there were particularly strong ties even before he broke contact. Trent admitted to being a bit of a black sheep.
"It all circles back to one of my jobs as a Home Inspector," he explained. "After I moved out, I tried college and quickly realized it wasn't for me. So I entered the workforce and did a bunch of odd jobs. Construction, carpentry, plumbing. I even drove a garbage truck for a while. But I ended up in Home Inspection. There was one job in particular which made me aware of…" Trent paused and gestured toward the space between us, "our situation. The blinks. You remember what I told you about origin points being like a station where other realms intersect with our world? Well, this house was like Union Station or JFK airport if you prefer a plane analogy. There was a pile of junk up to my knees in the basement of that house; all of it had been blinked in. I spent a couple days on the property, running tests, trying to identify the strange phenomenon, but on day three I rolled up to an army of what I thought at the time were Feds, parading around the property like ants on an anthill and sectioning it off with crime-scene tape." I saw disgust funnel into Trent's expression. "They're not Feds at all though. At least not anymore. I call them "the Organization," a group of people who lead in the formalized understanding of what you know as 'blinking'. And they're the reason I have to take precautions."
I considered this for a moment. Trent's story was certainly plausible, but I was missing a key piece of the puzzle. "Okay, so, what does this 'Organization' want? You make it seem like they're not good people. Have they tried attacking you?"
This caused Trent to laugh for a solid ten seconds. "Sorry, it's just… I mean if you knew what I knew, you might think it's funny, too."
"Then tell me"
Trent took a deep breath, then released. "It's a long story. The gist of it is this. The Organization has a certain device which I call 'the Receiver'. Think of it like a giant antenna—no, not us kind of Antennas, an actual antenna. It's like the machine equivalent of us, but with a billion times the bandwidth. Their goal is to use the Receiver to map our world in relation to other dimensions, then use that map to establish dominion over everyone and everything. In order to do this, they need muscle: both human muscle, and Antenna muscle. They're in the process of harvesting as many of us they can find. They're like a giant diamond company who is taking to the mines. When they find a stone, they take it back to their factory for cutting and refinement. In real terms, they run tests on us and attempt to augment our powers. The ultimate goal is to create a 'Strong Antenna', or an Antenna capable of causing phase shifts—blinks." Trent saw from my expression that he was starting to lose me, so he stood up and began rolling up his shirt.
"What are you doing?" I asked, turning away. Then I saw what he wanted to show me. There was a long scar beginning high up on his ribs and slashing all the way down to his left hip. There was also what appeared to be a patch of burn marks on his stomach.
"It was early on when I got these." Trent explained. "I was naive. I actually thought I'd be able to reason with these people. The only reason I escaped was because of dumb luck and a box of hand grenades. But that's a tale for another time. I learned two important lessons that day. First, the Organization isn't fucking around. And two, they aren't immortal. Most of them are regular, every-day humans, except for their obsession with power." Trent let his shirt fall, covering up the marks. "I ran into them again recently at their Headquarters. My team and I are working on a plan to…" he paused, seemingly weighing his words, then changed gears. "Well, I guess we can go over that another time."
I couldn't help but feel that Trent was holding something back. As much as I tried to resist thinking about yesterday, the old demon-man's words kept ringing in my head. You think he can help you? He's only here to help himself. Then I thought about what Trent said at the deli: "that's the thing that got me really interested in you. Somehow you seem to be able to control it without gear, just by praying." Did Trent think I was a Strong Antenna? Is that the only reason he's helping me? Because he wants to recruit me? And if that is the case, what if I said 'no'?
"Listen, Trent," I started, but I saw Trent was already nodding. Still, I pressed on. "I need you to tell me what I'm actually doing here. Why did you agree to help me? And what does helping me really mean? I want to know the truth."
"The truth is…" Trent started, then stopped and looked out the glass door that led onto the deck. I looked too and saw a sparrow had alighted on our old bird feeder. It tried pecking at some of its non-existent grains, then sang what I assumed was a song of displeasure before taking back off to the skies.
"The truth is: I do want to recruit you. I think you have the potential to be the strongest tool in my arsenal, but I won't require it. To date, I've helped 53 of our kind, but only seven have stayed on. Most decide to go on and live normal lives." Trent scooted his plate to the side. "In our case, this can essentially go one of two ways. In either instance, we pass through Chicago for two stops. First, I need to meet up with an associate who has something to drop off to me. Then I need to stop at a storage locker and trade out some gear that will allow me to open a phase portal. When we arrive at your origin point, I'll open the portal and you'll look inside. Based on everything you've told me, I'm guessing that childhood accident was when the demon appended itself to your life. By seeing how it entered your life, you should be able to figure out how to dispel it. At least that's the working theory. Returning to the origin point has always worked for the other Antennas, although I must admit your situation is different, but I can't imagine it's so different that this method won't work at all. After you return demon-free, you're free. You can walk out and never see me again and hopefully you'll live a happy and peaceful life. Or you can decide to throw your lot in with mine, and I can show you how deep the rabbit hole goes, so to speak." Trent looked into my eyes, and when I didn't respond for a few seconds, he said, "that's it. That's all I got."
I smiled and responded with one sentence.
"When do we leave?"
***
Memories have a strange architecture. In some ways, they are the great safety net of our experiences: collecting them like a bucket under a leaky roof. In other ways, they are an eternal reminder that nothing ever truly lasts. Perhaps a better way of thinking about memories is as the ghosts of our past lingering in the present. As I took one last stroll through my childhood house, feeling that it might be my last time for a long while, I felt the imprints of childhood memories press into my awareness: I could hear my father's voice reading to me at my bedside; I could see him holding one of my stuffed animals above my head as I wrestled him for it; I could recall the times when I'd sneak down the stairs late at night and quietly open the freezer, grab the ice cream carton, then head back upstairs to eat it.
I felt a yearning to return to those memories: to walk into the fictitious pictures my mind was painting on the canvas of my present. I knew I couldn't return, but I still wanted something to hold onto. I went back to my room and grabbed the cotton-stuffed tomato from off my closet cabinet. Then I walked through my dad's study and removed a volume I recalled him frequently reading, a hard-cover book with a green binding called, "A Collection of Great Works". I placed these items by my feet in the passenger seat of Trent's van, and just as we were about to leave, I remembered something else.
"My plant!" I blurted.
"Your what?"
"My plant—and my car. I left them it the deli. Do you think we could swing by and get it?"
Trent checked the time, then said, "Yeah, I guess we can. I just hope it isn't towed."
Luckily, it wasn't. I half-expected to find a ticket on the windshield, but there wasn't one of those, either. I unlocked the door to my Jetta and got into what felt like an active oven. "Hot!" I said and rolled down all the windows, then cranked up the AC. I saw my plant resting in the cupholder that I'd left it in the previous day. I picked it up and touched its soil. It was dry and beginning to crack. Hang on little guy, I thought. Then I led the way back to my house.
When I arrived, I parked at the head of the driveway. I turned off the car, then ran inside with the young tomato plant, bringing it to the upstairs bathrooms sink and dousing it in water. I wasn't sure how much I was supposed to add, but I figured after the sauna experience it had yesterday, I could afford to go a little overboard. Once it was fed, I opened the small purple drapes and placed it on the windowsill which faced East, meaning it would hopefully get plenty of morning sunlight.
"Good, now?" Trent asked after I hopped back in the passenger seat of the van.
"Yeah," I said. "Good now."
"Then lets get a move on."
***
Road tripping with Trent was a much different experience than when we were driving for our lives. For one, Trent wasn't nearly as tense. He drove with the windows down and one hand on the steering wheel like out of a Mustang commercial, talking intermittently about his adventures: people he'd met, jobs he'd done, close calls. He was like a living radio. And when his personal station wasn't on, he was playing one of his CD's—classic rock, mainly. When he was in an 'off' period, I found myself looking out the window at the rolling wheat fields and cloudy blue sky. Journey was playing, and the lyrics to one of the songs crept into my head and reverberated there:
The wheel in the sky keeps on turning.
I don't know where I'll be tomorrow…
I've been trying to make it home,
Got to make it before too long…
Ooh I can't take it, very much longer…
In a strange way, I felt like I was leaving home. But in another way, I was going back. And then it occurred to me that perhaps I didn't have a home at all. Did I ever have one? These past couple days had called everything about my life into question, to the point where the past seemed as mysterious as the future, and both intersected at that one place in the woods. The place where it all began. The place we were headed.
We only stopped once at a gas station to refuel, get snacks, and use the bathroom. Otherwise it was smooth sailing, other than one heated discussion with Trent that began when he addressed his vehicle as "Car" for the fifth time.
"Okay, you need to come up with a better name than that."
"What do you mean?" Trent asked, seeming genuinely confused.
"You have a super-car and you named it 'Car'. That's actually embarrassing."
"But, it is a car."
I facepalmed. "First of all, it's a van."
"A van is a type of car."
"Second of all, would you name your kid, 'kid'?"
Trent thought it over for what I thought was much too long. At last he concluded, "No, I'd probably name him 'boy', or if it's a girl, 'girl'."
After five more minutes of his childish banter, we settled on the name "Ava"—my choice, after rejecting his runner-up name "Scar".
At around the seven hour mark, I dozed off, then woke up a couple hours later to the sensation of the van dipping, then bumping up into an elevated climb. The evening sunlight that was pressuring my eyelids to open, dissipated, and everything was suddenly dark. I opened my eyes and saw we had entered a parking garage. Trent pulled into an open spot on the second level.
"We're here," he said and gathered up his gun which he stashed in a driver's side underboard compartment that I'm guessing he had installed himself.
"I see that"
"You want to wait here, or—"
I opened the car door, which was answer enough for Trent. We both got out and started down Maple Avenue. I had been to several cities before, Chicago among them, but the size of the buildings always struck me with awe. As we walked alongside dozens of other pedestrians, I looked up and traced the closest tower to its peak, guessing how many stories it was in my head. Then I'd be pulled out of my game by the honking of some nearby vehicle.
We continued for two blocks until Trent made a path directly toward the nearest Starbucks. I didn't know what I was picturing for a meeting with his associate, but it definitely wasn't a meetup at a coffee shop. Still, I followed him in. Then when I saw that Trent was leading me to a corner table where a casually dressed Chinese girl who appeared even younger than me was sitting, I blurted in a hushed tone, "her? She's your associate?"
"Took you long enough," said the Chinese girl, looking up from what appeared to be some kind of homework assignment.
"And she's in school?" I asked, incredulous.
The associate looked to me, then to Trent (who nodded), then back to me. "It's just a cover. I'm glad to see it still works, though." She reached out to shake my hand. "I'm Allison. It's nice to meet you."
Trent gave me a smirk, then said, "looks can be deceiving."
I grunted an affirmation and shook Allison's hand. "I'm Lauren. It's nice to meet you, too."
"You have it?" Trent asked, skipping right to business.
"Of course," Allison replied and removed a mailing package from her backpack, setting it on the table. "You want to go make sure it works?" She asked, gesturing up at the ceiling with her eyes.
Trent seemed to think it over for a second, then looked at me. But before he could say anything, Allison cut back in—
"—I'll stay with her. It's been a while since I've had any female company. Why don't you let us girls talk while you take care of that?" She said in a seductive yet authoritative tone which garnered her years that her appearance did not reflect.
Trent hesitated, but only for a moment. "Okay, I'll be right back," he said. Then he hurried out the door in the direction we had come from.
"Come, sit with me." Allison invited. "Tell me about yourself."
I took a seat on the small wooden seat opposite Allison, then crossed my legs. "What do you want to know?" I asked, feeling discomfort rise in my stomach. Nothing about this situation, from the mysterious package, to Trent leaving me alone with this girl, to the girl herself, whose voice was as velvety smooth as the latte she was stirring with a black coffee straw, sat right with me.
"I'm curious about what you think of Trent."
"Trent?" I repeated. I realized this was the first time I was putting any of my thoughts about Trent or our relationship into words. "I guess... he's a pretty straightforward guy. He seems to know what he's doing."
Allison flashed me a small smile, then took a sip of her latte. I saw the sticker on her drink read "Chai". Then she set the cup down and sighed. "Yes, he's very straightforward. Definitely doesn't mince words." She looked up into my eyes. Hers were a rich black, like onyx pebbles, but there was something about the way the light refracted off them which simulated a kind of inward motion, as if they were tiny whirlpools. Her smile spread across her lips. "I'm curious. What did he tell you?"
"Tell me about what?"
"About what you're doing. About where you're off to. What's the plan?"
"Don't you know?" I asked, but it immediately occurred to me that maybe she didn't know. I never saw Trent with a cellphone. Just how did he communicate with his 'associates'? And what if he didn't want her to know what we were doing for a good reason? Should I tell her?
"No, Trent keeps his cards close to his chest. He always has."
"Don't you work together, though?"
Allison waved her left hand in the air. "Of course, but it's because of the nature of our work that most of our communication is done in person, so Trent doesn't tell me much outside of the current job. I was just curious, is all."
"That makes sense. I mean, I'm actually pretty curious about what you do, too."
"Oh?" Allison's voice went high, as if she suddenly sensed an opening. "Then, why don't we trade stories. You tell about your trip, and I'll tell you about mine."
I thought it over for a second. I really did want to hear what Allison had to say, and she was Trent's co-worker, it's not like I was spilling crucial secrets to an enemy. "We're currently on our way to Southern Illinois. Specifically, we're going back to my origin point so I can confront a demon that Trent thinks blinked into my life there."
Allison stopped stirring, but her eyes didn't break from mine. "A demon, huh?" She raised the cup and took a long sip, then placed it back on the table and continued stirring. "I met a demon once," she started, looking up at the walls as if her life was playing on a screen there. "It was back in China, where I was born." She dropped her attention back to me. "Do you mind if I reminisce a little? Maybe you can get something out of it."
I shook my head, but something in my gut started to stir again. Allison continued.
"I was born during the Era of the Once Child Policy. As a result, my mother decided to leave me in a shoebox on the side of the road. I was a girl, so that's just how it was... Like many other babies in my... 'condition', I ended up in foster care. However, for whatever reason, I wasn't adopted. Years passed, and when I turned six, the government decided I'd be of better use building our impoverished town's GDP in a factory that assembled electronic devices for Western countries. Mostly they had me cleaning, but when I turned eight, one of the employees asked for my help with one of the soldering machines. That turned out to be the beginning of the end for me. I sliced open the ring finger of my right hand. I remember specifically seeing the bone underneath the split flesh and thinking it looked so small and white. The employee claimed to have nothing to do with my accident, and the management declared my injury "minimally invasive" and bandaged it up. Two weeks later and who would have guessed that the wound would become infected, and, well..."
Allison dropped the straw into her cup and raised her right hand, spreading the fingers out for me to see. There were only four. Her ring finger was missing, and a small v-shaped scar had taken its place.
"I'm lucky that the surgeon was experienced enough to take out the whole digit, that way it healed in a way which makes it somewhat difficult to notice. You didn't notice, after all. But, then again, is that really luck?" She made a fist and brought it to her lips, stifling a laugh. "No... Now I remember. My luck was still yet to come." She continued stirring. "Because, you see, after that incident, they moved me to a clothing factory with a boss who had a penchant for getting drunk and roughing up his workers, and, well, one night I was walking back to foster care when I heard the outside door to the manager's office slam shut, and there he went, stumbling, slurring insults, curses, and here I was, perfectly in his path. We met eyes, and in them I saw absolutely nothing. A hollow shell of a man, and I can still remember what it looked like to see that shell fill with a demon."
Allison's eyes went wide with some strong emotion that I couldn't place. "He grabbed me by my hair and dragged me out into the field, far away from civilization. I tried to fight at first, but every time I tried to lunge away, I was only ripping a hole in my own scalp. It felt like flames were spewing from my head, and my only respite was when the blood eventually cooled over the wound. By the time he had thrown me against the rock, I'd already all but given up. Then, when my head met the stone, I heard a pop and my grip on the world loosened. The man continued touching me, but it was as if I was disconnected now, floating somewhere above my own head, and gravity was beginning to reverse, causing me to float higher and higher, away from the horrible nightmare below."
Allison paused for a moment, and I suddenly realized I was holding my breath.
"Then I saw the most bright light I'd ever seen. At the time I thought it was either the Sun or Heaven or something like that. It was just too bright for this world. But then after looking for a little longer, I noticed it was in the shape of a person. It reached out toward me, and I had never been so quick to respond. When I touched it, I felt all my pain immediately dissipate. And I felt warm and... peaceful. And I was no longer in the sky. I was back in the field. But when I looked around, the man was gone. Vanished, right out of existence. I didn't understand it at the time, but that was my first experience with the Shifts. All I knew then was that I was free, and I damn well wasn't going to waste that. I ran as far as I could, away from the factories, the foster home, the corrupt governments and corporations. I kept running until I arrived at a City that didn't know me. That didn't want to know me. And I liked it that way, because it's easier to live as a ghost than as a victim."
Allison perked up, and when I turned around to see what for, I saw Trent entering back through the door.
"But you know what's interesting?" Allison blurted out, her voice becoming quieter. "Trent never took me back to confront my demon." Her voice became a whisper. "In fact, I can't recall him ever taking any of us back."
For a moment the whole world became a still frame. Allison's clear, olive skin, and dark eyes, made darker with eyeliner; her narrow nose; her small lips now coiling into a smile. My entire body was a hair trigger hat only needed the slightest force to set it off. And when Trent placed his hand on my shoulder, I whirled around and narrowly missed a haymaker that swept just shy of Trent's face.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa" he said and stepped back with his palms up. "It's just me. Is everything okay?"
I turned back to Allison, but she seemed different now. Her expression was benign; confused, even. "Are you okay?" she asked.
"I—you"
"We were just talking about where you were off to next." Allison said without a hint of pretense.
"Okay, well, chat time is over. It's time to go." Trent said and started guiding me toward the door. I turned back and saw Allison mouth some words which I swear I heard, as if they had been directly transmitted into my brain.
"See you soon" she purred.
She was smiling.
***
The next leg of the trip passed mostly in silence. It was a little over an hour to the storage facility which was located just South of Chicago. My heart was beating wildly in my chest as I pictured Allison's smile. I wanted to ask Trent if demons could possess Antennas, if somehow one of us could become compromised, but then I remembered Allison's words and stopped myself. Because I didn't know if I could really trust Trent. I tried to tell myself I could trust him—that it was Allison who was the liar. Her whole persona seemed fake at best, and possessed at worst. But, then... what if she was telling the truth? What if Trent was the enemy?
He sensed my quietness and tried striking up a couple conversations, but I only gave one-word answers. Somehow, our trust was so brittle that a single, well-placed sentence was enough to snap it. When he asked if everything was okay, I lied and said that I just had a headache and needed more rest. So I leaned my head against the stuffed tomato and tried to sleep, even though I knew I wouldn't be able to.
We arrived at the facility just as the sun was setting for the night. Trent pulled up to the self-service gate and scanned a card which caused the automatic doors to swing open. We looped down a couple rows of the outdoor units until we came to #48.
"We're here," Trent prompted, but this time I didn't budge. I felt his eyes on me after he turned off the ignition. "Hey," he called. "Are you awake?"
I was silent.
I heard Trent quietly click open his door, then close it the same way. I waited a few seconds then turned my head and watched him from the driver's side mirror. He opened the storage locker, then walked inside and turned on a light. It occurred to me then how dimly lit this outdoor storage facility was. There was a weak overhead lantern peeking over every fourth garage like an anglerfish's lure, leaving a large portion of the road not hit by the light bubbles completely dark.
I tried to plan my next move. I could leave Trent and run. But where would I go? Or I could stay and see Trent's plan through. There was a chance this was all an elaborate trap. Maybe Trent was working with the demon, or maybe he was the demon. But then why did he save me? Twice. Maybe he was actually a double agent for the Organization. But he could easily have captured me by now. Unless he needs me to go back to the origin point for a different reason... I considered everything I had learned up until this point: we live at the cross-section of different realms; these other realms interact with our world; Antennas, who are a very small minority of people, can see these interactions; the Organization wants to harness our power and create a 'Strong Antenna' to achieve some kind of universal hegemony; I'm the closest thing to a Strong Antenna to date; Trent knows this; He's taking me back to my origin point, despite not taking the others back to theirs; Trent claims to want to fight the Organization; the best way to fight the Organization would be with a Strong Antenna. What if Trent was trying to make me into a Strong Antenna?
I considered this chain of reasoning. It seemed very plausible, especially after Allison's cryptic messages. Was she trying to warn me of this? But that smile, and the "see you soon"... If she wasn't being possessed, why would she be seeing me soon?
Suddenly my thoughts gave way like a broken dam as I heard a ping come from Ava's radar. I jumped, thinking that all of the electronics turned off with the ignition, but when I looked at the circular sonar map, I saw a red dot had just emerged in the top-right corner. I looked out the window in the direction of the ping, but I couldn't see anything heading down the road.
Ping. Ping. Ping. Ping. Ping.
Four more dots appeared behind the first, and they were approaching.
I jumped out the van and ran over to where Trent was hauling in a large cardboard crate into the back of the van. "Trent, there's pings on the radar. A bunch of them."
He dropped the box next to three others, and I realized I had never seen inside the back of the van. It was filled with what looked like pneumatic tubes wired into circuits, and in the center was a tri-pod which was holding a large halo-shaped ring.
"Pings?" Trent said, then his face widened with shock as he realized what I meant. "Shit, how many?"
"Five, maybe more now. And they're getting closer."
"Five?" He jumped out the back and ran into the storage locker. I thought he was going to close the door, but when I saw him hauling boxes back toward the van, I yelled at him. "What are you doing!?"
"I need to load this up for tomorrow. Here," He tossed me his keys. "Get it started."
"Fuck, seriously?"
Trent didn't respond, only kept shuffling boxes into the van.
I turned and ran to the door and hopped in the driver's seat. As I was turning on the ignition, I saw the row of bushes that was just outside of the facility begin to rattle. The next sweep revealed a whole sea of pings. I rolled down the window and shouted Trent's name.
"One more, that's all. Get in the passenger seat, I'll be there in a sec."
I scooted over the center console and waited, clutching at the bottom of my pants legs. Just as Trent slammed the rear door of the van shut, I saw the first figure emerge onto the road ahead of us. It looked like some kind of large coyote, though it was hard to tell because it was still fifty meters out.
"Now detecting 53 controlled agents." Ava said right as Trent jumped in and shut the driver's side door. "Net anomalies: 53."
"Ava, increase radius to five miles." Trent instructed as he backed up all the way to the end of the lane and spun us around toward the gate. Just as we left, I saw the pack of coyotes stalking toward us, slow at first, then in a dead sprint.
"Increasing radius." Ava responded. "Increased. Recalculating… Recalculating… Re—complete. Now detecting 451 controlled agents. Net anomalies: 451."
"What does 'controlled agent' mean?" I asked.
"Hold on," Trent said and accelerated into the gate, bursting through it. The whole van shook, and I heard my phone fall in the crack between the seat and door. Trent steadied the van, then said, "It means the things chasing us are being controlled by something that isn't detectable."
"The demon?"
"That'd be my guess."
"But why can't Ava detect it?"
Trent switched to the right lane, then merged onto the Interstate-South ramp. "Probably because it isn't trying to kill us."
"Then, what—" I looked back at the map and basically had my question answered. All 451 pings were coalesced in a semicircle on one side of the map. The side of the map that we had just come from. "Is it trying to force us toward the crash site?"
"It seems that way." Trent answered.
"Trent, pull over."
"Huh?"
"Pull over!" I yelled.
He looked at me, eyes wide. Then he did as I had instructed and pulled off in the middle of the ramp. The red dots slowly closed in on our position.
"Now detecting—"
"Shut up, Ava." I said. I could feel my blood boiling. "I'm not going one step further until you tell me the truth. Why are we going to my origin point? What is your real motive?"
"What do you mean? I already told you."
I unlocked the passenger side door.
"Wait," Trent said and reached out toward me. "Just, wait."
There was silence, except for the pings indicating that the beasts behind us had re-encroached on our position to about fifty meters.
"Okay, I didn't tell you everything. But we don't have time now—"
I opened the door.
"Okay, okay. I didn't tell you everything, it's true. I've never done this with anyone else, but the reason is because I never needed to. And if I told you what might happen, you would have refused it."
"Refused what?"
"This—me, my help. Lauren, I am trying to help you. But you have to understand—it's likely that neither of us are going to live past tomorrow. You're basically confronting a dark entity in a place where I can't protect you, and if you somehow do manage to kill it, you'll be coming back to the fight of your life. Because I don't have the power to hide you from the Organization. They're going to show up and try to take you. I really don't know how you've lasted as long as you have. Whatever protection you had growing up, it's gone now. And now I'm all you have. And in some twist of fate, you're all I have."
Ava reactivated. "Now detecting 1,117 controlled agents. Proximity till contact: 20 meters. Net anomalies: 1,117."
I closed my door. "But what if I still don't want to go through with it?"
Trent pointed at the screen. "Then we die right here, right now, together. Because I am one-hundred percent certain that if we don't go to that crash site, we're dead anyway. All of us."
Another ping rolled through. I checked the side-view mirror and saw the swarming pack of dogs reach the van and bound around the rear wheels. I suddenly recalled the conversation I had with Father Martin and the conclusions I had drawn. Father, I've been… wrestling with something, and I think God wants me to confront it. I think I've been running away and hiding from it for so long that I'd convinced myself it disappeared...
"Go," I said just as I felt the collision of the coyotes slamming their bodies against the side doors.
Trent didn't waste any time stepping on the gas. I watched as the coyotes diminished in the distance and the pings receded into the back of the map, never disappearing fully, but covering the flank of our retreat—a reminder lingering on the edge of our awareness that there was no turning back now. That, one way or another, this was ending tomorrow.
And I'd either be dead, or something else entirely.

Part 1
Part 2
Darkness gave way to dimness as I opened my eyes and saw slivers of gray light printed on the ceiling like lines on the page of a ruled notebook. In the distance, I heard the sound of pans clanking against the kitchen stove, and I became ever-aware of the scent of cinnamon and bacon sneaking in from under my closed bedroom door. For a moment, I was back in sixth grade. My dad was downstairs cooking up his famous from-scratch buttermilk pancakes and cheesy scrambled eggs. It was probably 7:00, maybe 7:05, and I had fifteen minutes to get up, shower, dress, eat, then it was off to Middle School with dad: for me to learn, him to work.
It was the day we were set to be assigned our Ancient Civilizations project. Unless something went terribly wrong, I would be choosing Ancient Rome. I didn't know much about it, other than it was some great empire, but even then I didn't really understand what an empire was. I was just happy that I would get to build something with my dad. I turned on my side and looked at the closed blinds, the source of the gray lines, then the cabinet with all my trophies, and finally the wobbly, firetruck-red chair pushed under my desk. I was home at last. The past fifteen years were nothing but a dream. There was no blinking. No malevolent demon chasing me. No inexplicable chaos…
It was a sweet fantasy. But one that became bitter the longer I tried to chew on it.
I swept my legs out from under the covers and sat, face-down, on the corner of my twin mattress. My feet were adult's feet. My room was my former room. And that was Trent downstairs cooking breakfast. Unless, of course, it was my dad, in which case I'd have bigger problems than merely waking up from a good dream.
After changing into a fresh shirt and pants, I went downstairs and saw that it was, in fact, Trent cooking breakfast. He was wearing a plain t-shirt through which I could see the ripples of his large back muscles as he whisked what I presumed was pancake batter. He must not have heard me, because he didn't turn around when I made it to the end of the hall. I leaned against the wall, arms folded, and watched him for a minute as he finished whisking the batter, then poured it onto a hot griddle (spilling a few dribbles on the counter in the process), watched it bubble, flipped it, then transferred the golden medallion onto a plate stacked five high. Next to the pancakes was a plate filled with bacon, and a small aluminum pan of scrambled eggs.
"Smells good," I said at last. "Find everything okay?"
I thought I might startle him with my abrupt appearance; instead, Trent looked over his shoulder, chewing on a piece of bacon. He swallowed and said, "Oh, it's you. Yeah, I hope you don't mind me using your kitchen. I thought I'd make us some breakfast."
It occurred to me then that Trent likely wasn't a guest in other people's homes very often. Lucky for him, I didn't mind him using a kitchen that hadn't been mine in many years. I was going to tell him as much when I saw an opened box of Bisquick sitting on the counter. I pointed to it and asked, "you found that in the pantry? My dad usually makes his pancakes from scratch."
He turned to look at the box, then back at me. "No, I went out and got that. And the bacon and eggs. I didn't want to dig into your supply without asking, and you were asleep, so..."
I felt my eyebrows furrow as I checked the time on the stove-clock. "It's 8:17 in the morning. Are you telling me you went out to the store, bought all these ingredients, then came back and cooked them? Just how early did you get up?"
"Around five," he answered as casually as if I had asked his dog's name. "I don't usually get much sleep. Around four, five hours is all I need. It's actually unusual for Antennas to need more than that amount. But I suppose you are unusual."
I opened my mouth in disbelief. Not only had he commandeered my kitchen, he was calling me unusual? At 8-fricken-17 in the morning?
"Sorry," Trent said, reading my expression, "I'm… well, let's just say I've not had many personal relationships. I'm used to being blunt. It's just easier that way." He took out a plate and transferred two pancakes, some eggs, and a few slices of bacon onto it. Then he held it up to me as a peace offering.
I sighed. "This better be good," I said with a wry smile and took the plate.
"Trent-certified, but no guarantees. Refunds not allowed." He replied, which made me giggle.
We sat across from one another at the dining room table. The meal was pretty good, but it was no dad's special: the pancakes were clearly box pancakes, the scrambled eggs lacked cheese and had a little too much pepper, and the bacon was… well it was bacon, no complaints there. Still, it was nice to settle down and have a somewhat normal morning.
After we ate, Trent unfurled the long arc of his life, which began as the second youngest brother of eight siblings in rural Oklahoma. Trent's 'pops' was in the logging business, first as a lumberjack, then as an owner of his own logging company. His dad acquired the business while Trent was still young, so school was never a high priority for him—at least not the way contributing to the household was. The rest of his childhood he summed up in two lessons: "Being 'close' has nothing to do with distance," and "don't touch strange plants in the woods."
I asked him if he kept in touch with any of his siblings, to which he responded, saying, "The only reason they haven't had a funeral for me is because it would be too much work." When I asked him to elaborate, he said he'd not had contact with anyone in his immediate family for over a decade. He kept tabs on them. For example, he knew his mother had dementia, and his dad was forced into retirement by his oldest brother (who had gone on to take over the logging company). His sisters were all married and moved to other parts of the country. He considered reaching out several times, but his situation required a degree of security that wasn't conducive of close family ties, not that there were particularly strong ties even before he broke contact. Trent admitted to being a bit of a black sheep.
"It all circles back to one of my jobs as a Home Inspector," he explained. "After I moved out, I tried college and quickly realized it wasn't for me. So I entered the workforce and did a bunch of odd jobs. Construction, carpentry, plumbing. I even drove a garbage truck for a while. But I ended up in Home Inspection. There was one job in particular which made me aware of…" Trent paused and gestured toward the space between us, "our situation. The blinks. You remember what I told you about origin points being like a station where other realms intersect with our world? Well, this house was like Union Station or JFK airport if you prefer a plane analogy. There was a pile of junk up to my knees in the basement of that house; all of it had been blinked in. I spent a couple days on the property, running tests, trying to identify the strange phenomenon, but on day three I rolled up to an army of what I thought at the time were Feds, parading around the property like ants on an anthill and sectioning it off with crime-scene tape." I saw disgust funnel into Trent's expression. "They're not Feds at all though. At least not anymore. I call them "the Organization," a group of people who lead in the formalized understanding of what you know as 'blinking'. And they're the reason I have to take precautions."
I considered this for a moment. Trent's story was certainly plausible, but I was missing a key piece of the puzzle. "Okay, so, what does this 'Organization' want? You make it seem like they're not good people. Have they tried attacking you?"
This caused Trent to laugh for a solid ten seconds. "Sorry, it's just… I mean if you knew what I knew, you might think it's funny, too."
"Then tell me"
Trent took a deep breath, then released. "It's a long story. The gist of it is this. The Organization has a certain device which I call 'the Receiver'. Think of it like a giant antenna—no, not us kind of Antennas, an actual antenna. It's like the machine equivalent of us, but with a billion times the bandwidth. Their goal is to use the Receiver to map our world in relation to other dimensions, then use that map to establish dominion over everyone and everything. In order to do this, they need muscle: both human muscle, and Antenna muscle. They're in the process of harvesting as many of us they can find. They're like a giant diamond company who is taking to the mines. When they find a stone, they take it back to their factory for cutting and refinement. In real terms, they run tests on us and attempt to augment our powers. The ultimate goal is to create a 'Strong Antenna', or an Antenna capable of causing phase shifts—blinks." Trent saw from my expression that he was starting to lose me, so he stood up and began rolling up his shirt.
"What are you doing?" I asked, turning away. Then I saw what he wanted to show me. There was a long scar beginning high up on his ribs and slashing all the way down to his left hip. There was also what appeared to be a patch of burn marks on his stomach.
"It was early on when I got these." Trent explained. "I was naive. I actually thought I'd be able to reason with these people. The only reason I escaped was because of dumb luck and a box of hand grenades. But that's a tale for another time. I learned two important lessons that day. First, the Organization isn't fucking around. And two, they aren't immortal. Most of them are regular, every-day humans, except for their obsession with power." Trent let his shirt fall, covering up the marks. "I ran into them again recently at their Headquarters. My team and I are working on a plan to…" he paused, seemingly weighing his words, then changed gears. "Well, I guess we can go over that another time."
I couldn't help but feel that Trent was holding something back. As much as I tried to resist thinking about yesterday, the old demon-man's words kept ringing in my head. You think he can help you? He's only here to help himself. Then I thought about what Trent said at the deli: "that's the thing that got me really interested in you. Somehow you seem to be able to control it without gear, just by praying." Did Trent think I was a Strong Antenna? Is that the only reason he's helping me? Because he wants to recruit me? And if that is the case, what if I said 'no'?
"Listen, Trent," I started, but I saw Trent was already nodding. Still, I pressed on. "I need you to tell me what I'm actually doing here. Why did you agree to help me? And what does helping me really mean? I want to know the truth."
"The truth is…" Trent started, then stopped and looked out the glass door that led onto the deck. I looked too and saw a sparrow had alighted on our old bird feeder. It tried pecking at some of its non-existent grains, then sang what I assumed was a song of displeasure before taking back off to the skies.
"The truth is: I do want to recruit you. I think you have the potential to be the strongest tool in my arsenal, but I won't require it. To date, I've helped 53 of our kind, but only seven have stayed on. Most decide to go on and live normal lives." Trent scooted his plate to the side. "In our case, this can essentially go one of two ways. In either instance, we pass through Chicago for two stops. First, I need to meet up with an associate who has something to drop off to me. Then I need to stop at a storage locker and trade out some gear that will allow me to open a phase portal. When we arrive at your origin point, I'll open the portal and you'll look inside. Based on everything you've told me, I'm guessing that childhood accident was when the demon appended itself to your life. By seeing how it entered your life, you should be able to figure out how to dispel it. At least that's the working theory. Returning to the origin point has always worked for the other Antennas, although I must admit your situation is different, but I can't imagine it's so different that this method won't work at all. After you return demon-free, you're free. You can walk out and never see me again and hopefully you'll live a happy and peaceful life. Or you can decide to throw your lot in with mine, and I can show you how deep the rabbit hole goes, so to speak." Trent looked into my eyes, and when I didn't respond for a few seconds, he said, "that's it. That's all I got."
I smiled and responded with one sentence.
"When do we leave?"
***
Memories have a strange architecture. In some ways, they are the great safety net of our experiences: collecting them like a bucket under a leaky roof. In other ways, they are an eternal reminder that nothing ever truly lasts. Perhaps a better way of thinking about memories is as the ghosts of our past lingering in the present. As I took one last stroll through my childhood house, feeling that it might be my last time for a long while, I felt the imprints of childhood memories press into my awareness: I could hear my father's voice reading to me at my bedside; I could see him holding one of my stuffed animals above my head as I wrestled him for it; I could recall the times when I'd sneak down the stairs late at night and quietly open the freezer, grab the ice cream carton, then head back upstairs to eat it.
I felt a yearning to return to those memories: to walk into the fictitious pictures my mind was painting on the canvas of my present. I knew I couldn't return, but I still wanted something to hold onto. I went back to my room and grabbed the cotton-stuffed tomato from off my closet cabinet. Then I walked through my dad's study and removed a volume I recalled him frequently reading, a hard-cover book with a green binding called, "A Collection of Great Works". I placed these items by my feet in the passenger seat of Trent's van, and just as we were about to leave, I remembered something else.
"My plant!" I blurted.
"Your what?"
"My plant—and my car. I left them it the deli. Do you think we could swing by and get it?"
Trent checked the time, then said, "Yeah, I guess we can. I just hope it isn't towed."
Luckily, it wasn't. I half-expected to find a ticket on the windshield, but there wasn't one of those, either. I unlocked the door to my Jetta and got into what felt like an active oven. "Hot!" I said and rolled down all the windows, then cranked up the AC. I saw my plant resting in the cupholder that I'd left it in the previous day. I picked it up and touched its soil. It was dry and beginning to crack. Hang on little guy, I thought. Then I led the way back to my house.
When I arrived, I parked at the head of the driveway. I turned off the car, then ran inside with the young tomato plant, bringing it to the upstairs bathrooms sink and dousing it in water. I wasn't sure how much I was supposed to add, but I figured after the sauna experience it had yesterday, I could afford to go a little overboard. Once it was fed, I opened the small purple drapes and placed it on the windowsill which faced East, meaning it would hopefully get plenty of morning sunlight.
"Good, now?" Trent asked after I hopped back in the passenger seat of the van.
"Yeah," I said. "Good now."
"Then lets get a move on."
***
Road tripping with Trent was a much different experience than when we were driving for our lives. For one, Trent wasn't nearly as tense. He drove with the windows down and one hand on the steering wheel like out of a Mustang commercial, talking intermittently about his adventures: people he'd met, jobs he'd done, close calls. He was like a living radio. And when his personal station wasn't on, he was playing one of his CD's—classic rock, mainly. When he was in an 'off' period, I found myself looking out the window at the rolling wheat fields and cloudy blue sky. Journey was playing, and the lyrics to one of the songs crept into my head and reverberated there:
The wheel in the sky keeps on turning.
I don't know where I'll be tomorrow…
I've been trying to make it home,
Got to make it before too long…
Ooh I can't take it, very much longer…
In a strange way, I felt like I was leaving home. But in another way, I was going back. And then it occurred to me that perhaps I didn't have a home at all. Did I ever have one? These past couple days had called everything about my life into question, to the point where the past seemed as mysterious as the future, and both intersected at that one place in the woods. The place where it all began. The place we were headed.
We only stopped once at a gas station to refuel, get snacks, and use the bathroom. Otherwise it was smooth sailing, other than one heated discussion with Trent that began when he addressed his vehicle as "Car" for the fifth time.
"Okay, you need to come up with a better name than that."
"What do you mean?" Trent asked, seeming genuinely confused.
"You have a super-car and you named it 'Car'. That's actually embarrassing."
"But, it is a car."
I facepalmed. "First of all, it's a van."
"A van is a type of car."
"Second of all, would you name your kid, 'kid'?"
Trent thought it over for what I thought was much too long. At last he concluded, "No, I'd probably name him 'boy', or if it's a girl, 'girl'."
After five more minutes of his childish banter, we settled on the name "Ava"—my choice, after rejecting his runner-up name "Scar".
At around the seven hour mark, I dozed off, then woke up a couple hours later to the sensation of the van dipping, then bumping up into an elevated climb. The evening sunlight that was pressuring my eyelids to open, dissipated, and everything was suddenly dark. I opened my eyes and saw we had entered a parking garage. Trent pulled into an open spot on the second level.
"We're here," he said and gathered up his gun which he stashed in a driver's side underboard compartment that I'm guessing he had installed himself.
"I see that"
"You want to wait here, or—"
I opened the car door, which was answer enough for Trent. We both got out and started down Maple Avenue. I had been to several cities before, Chicago among them, but the size of the buildings always struck me with awe. As we walked alongside dozens of other pedestrians, I looked up and traced the closest tower to its peak, guessing how many stories it was in my head. Then I'd be pulled out of my game by the honking of some nearby vehicle.
We continued for two blocks until Trent made a path directly toward the nearest Starbucks. I didn't know what I was picturing for a meeting with his associate, but it definitely wasn't a meetup at a coffee shop. Still, I followed him in. Then when I saw that Trent was leading me to a corner table where a casually dressed Chinese girl who appeared even younger than me was sitting, I blurted in a hushed tone, "her? She's your associate?"
"Took you long enough," said the Chinese girl, looking up from what appeared to be some kind of homework assignment.
"And she's in school?" I asked, incredulous.
The associate looked to me, then to Trent (who nodded), then back to me. "It's just a cover. I'm glad to see it still works, though." She reached out to shake my hand. "I'm Allison. It's nice to meet you."
Trent gave me a smirk, then said, "looks can be deceiving."
I grunted an affirmation and shook Allison's hand. "I'm Lauren. It's nice to meet you, too."
"You have it?" Trent asked, skipping right to business.
"Of course," Allison replied and removed a mailing package from her backpack, setting it on the table. "You want to go make sure it works?" She asked, gesturing up at the ceiling with her eyes.
Trent seemed to think it over for a second, then looked at me. But before he could say anything, Allison cut back in—
"—I'll stay with her. It's been a while since I've had any female company. Why don't you let us girls talk while you take care of that?" She said in a seductive yet authoritative tone which garnered her years that her appearance did not reflect.
Trent hesitated, but only for a moment. "Okay, I'll be right back," he said. Then he hurried out the door in the direction we had come from.
"Come, sit with me." Allison invited. "Tell me about yourself."
I took a seat on the small wooden seat opposite Allison, then crossed my legs. "What do you want to know?" I asked, feeling discomfort rise in my stomach. Nothing about this situation, from the mysterious package, to Trent leaving me alone with this girl, to the girl herself, whose voice was as velvety smooth as the latte she was stirring with a black coffee straw, sat right with me.
"I'm curious about what you think of Trent."
"Trent?" I repeated. I realized this was the first time I was putting any of my thoughts about Trent or our relationship into words. "I guess... he's a pretty straightforward guy. He seems to know what he's doing."
Allison flashed me a small smile, then took a sip of her latte. I saw the sticker on her drink read "Chai". Then she set the cup down and sighed. "Yes, he's very straightforward. Definitely doesn't mince words." She looked up into my eyes. Hers were a rich black, like onyx pebbles, but there was something about the way the light refracted off them which simulated a kind of inward motion, as if they were tiny whirlpools. Her smile spread across her lips. "I'm curious. What did he tell you?"
"Tell me about what?"
"About what you're doing. About where you're off to. What's the plan?"
"Don't you know?" I asked, but it immediately occurred to me that maybe she didn't know. I never saw Trent with a cellphone. Just how did he communicate with his 'associates'? And what if he didn't want her to know what we were doing for a good reason? Should I tell her?
"No, Trent keeps his cards close to his chest. He always has."
"Don't you work together, though?"
Allison waved her left hand in the air. "Of course, but it's because of the nature of our work that most of our communication is done in person, so Trent doesn't tell me much outside of the current job. I was just curious, is all."
"That makes sense. I mean, I'm actually pretty curious about what you do, too."
"Oh?" Allison's voice went high, as if she suddenly sensed an opening. "Then, why don't we trade stories. You tell about your trip, and I'll tell you about mine."
I thought it over for a second. I really did want to hear what Allison had to say, and she was Trent's co-worker, it's not like I was spilling crucial secrets to an enemy. "We're currently on our way to Southern Illinois. Specifically, we're going back to my origin point so I can confront a demon that Trent thinks blinked into my life there."
Allison stopped stirring, but her eyes didn't break from mine. "A demon, huh?" She raised the cup and took a long sip, then placed it back on the table and continued stirring. "I met a demon once," she started, looking up at the walls as if her life was playing on a screen there. "It was back in China, where I was born." She dropped her attention back to me. "Do you mind if I reminisce a little? Maybe you can get something out of it."
I shook my head, but something in my gut started to stir again. Allison continued.
"I was born during the Era of the Once Child Policy. As a result, my mother decided to leave me in a shoebox on the side of the road. I was a girl, so that's just how it was... Like many other babies in my... 'condition', I ended up in foster care. However, for whatever reason, I wasn't adopted. Years passed, and when I turned six, the government decided I'd be of better use building our impoverished town's GDP in a factory that assembled electronic devices for Western countries. Mostly they had me cleaning, but when I turned eight, one of the employees asked for my help with one of the soldering machines. That turned out to be the beginning of the end for me. I sliced open the ring finger of my right hand. I remember specifically seeing the bone underneath the split flesh and thinking it looked so small and white. The employee claimed to have nothing to do with my accident, and the management declared my injury "minimally invasive" and bandaged it up. Two weeks later and who would have guessed that the wound would become infected, and, well..."
Allison dropped the straw into her cup and raised her right hand, spreading the fingers out for me to see. There were only four. Her ring finger was missing, and a small v-shaped scar had taken its place.
"I'm lucky that the surgeon was experienced enough to take out the whole digit, that way it healed in a way which makes it somewhat difficult to notice. You didn't notice, after all. But, then again, is that really luck?" She made a fist and brought it to her lips, stifling a laugh. "No... Now I remember. My luck was still yet to come." She continued stirring. "Because, you see, after that incident, they moved me to a clothing factory with a boss who had a penchant for getting drunk and roughing up his workers, and, well, one night I was walking back to foster care when I heard the outside door to the manager's office slam shut, and there he went, stumbling, slurring insults, curses, and here I was, perfectly in his path. We met eyes, and in them I saw absolutely nothing. A hollow shell of a man, and I can still remember what it looked like to see that shell fill with a demon."
Allison's eyes went wide with some strong emotion that I couldn't place. "He grabbed me by my hair and dragged me out into the field, far away from civilization. I tried to fight at first, but every time I tried to lunge away, I was only ripping a hole in my own scalp. It felt like flames were spewing from my head, and my only respite was when the blood eventually cooled over the wound. By the time he had thrown me against the rock, I'd already all but given up. Then, when my head met the stone, I heard a pop and my grip on the world loosened. The man continued touching me, but it was as if I was disconnected now, floating somewhere above my own head, and gravity was beginning to reverse, causing me to float higher and higher, away from the horrible nightmare below."
Allison paused for a moment, and I suddenly realized I was holding my breath.
"Then I saw the most bright light I'd ever seen. At the time I thought it was either the Sun or Heaven or something like that. It was just too bright for this world. But then after looking for a little longer, I noticed it was in the shape of a person. It reached out toward me, and I had never been so quick to respond. When I touched it, I felt all my pain immediately dissipate. And I felt warm and... peaceful. And I was no longer in the sky. I was back in the field. But when I looked around, the man was gone. Vanished, right out of existence. I didn't understand it at the time, but that was my first experience with the Shifts. All I knew then was that I was free, and I damn well wasn't going to waste that. I ran as far as I could, away from the factories, the foster home, the corrupt governments and corporations. I kept running until I arrived at a City that didn't know me. That didn't want to know me. And I liked it that way, because it's easier to live as a ghost than as a victim."
Allison perked up, and when I turned around to see what for, I saw Trent entering back through the door.
"But you know what's interesting?" Allison blurted out, her voice becoming quieter. "Trent never took me back to confront my demon." Her voice became a whisper. "In fact, I can't recall him ever taking any of us back."
For a moment the whole world became a still frame. Allison's clear, olive skin, and dark eyes, made darker with eyeliner; her narrow nose; her small lips now coiling into a smile. My entire body was a hair trigger hat only needed the slightest force to set it off. And when Trent placed his hand on my shoulder, I whirled around and narrowly missed a haymaker that swept just shy of Trent's face.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa" he said and stepped back with his palms up. "It's just me. Is everything okay?"
I turned back to Allison, but she seemed different now. Her expression was benign; confused, even. "Are you okay?" she asked.
"I—you"
"We were just talking about where you were off to next." Allison said without a hint of pretense.
"Okay, well, chat time is over. It's time to go." Trent said and started guiding me toward the door. I turned back and saw Allison mouth some words which I swear I heard, as if they had been directly transmitted into my brain.
"See you soon" she purred.
She was smiling.
***
The next leg of the trip passed mostly in silence. It was a little over an hour to the storage facility which was located just South of Chicago. My heart was beating wildly in my chest as I pictured Allison's smile. I wanted to ask Trent if demons could possess Antennas, if somehow one of us could become compromised, but then I remembered Allison's words and stopped myself. Because I didn't know if I could really trust Trent. I tried to tell myself I could trust him—that it was Allison who was the liar. Her whole persona seemed fake at best, and possessed at worst. But, then... what if she was telling the truth? What if Trent was the enemy?
He sensed my quietness and tried striking up a couple conversations, but I only gave one-word answers. Somehow, our trust was so brittle that a single, well-placed sentence was enough to snap it. When he asked if everything was okay, I lied and said that I just had a headache and needed more rest. So I leaned my head against the stuffed tomato and tried to sleep, even though I knew I wouldn't be able to.
We arrived at the facility just as the sun was setting for the night. Trent pulled up to the self-service gate and scanned a card which caused the automatic doors to swing open. We looped down a couple rows of the outdoor units until we came to #48.
"We're here," Trent prompted, but this time I didn't budge. I felt his eyes on me after he turned off the ignition. "Hey," he called. "Are you awake?"
I was silent.
I heard Trent quietly click open his door, then close it the same way. I waited a few seconds then turned my head and watched him from the driver's side mirror. He opened the storage locker, then walked inside and turned on a light. It occurred to me then how dimly lit this outdoor storage facility was. There was a weak overhead lantern peeking over every fourth garage like an anglerfish's lure, leaving a large portion of the road not hit by the light bubbles completely dark.
I tried to plan my next move. I could leave Trent and run. But where would I go? Or I could stay and see Trent's plan through. There was a chance this was all an elaborate trap. Maybe Trent was working with the demon, or maybe he was the demon. But then why did he save me? Twice. Maybe he was actually a double agent for the Organization. But he could easily have captured me by now. Unless he needs me to go back to the origin point for a different reason... I considered everything I had learned up until this point: we live at the cross-section of different realms; these other realms interact with our world; Antennas, who are a very small minority of people, can see these interactions; the Organization wants to harness our power and create a 'Strong Antenna' to achieve some kind of universal hegemony; I'm the closest thing to a Strong Antenna to date; Trent knows this; He's taking me back to my origin point, despite not taking the others back to theirs; Trent claims to want to fight the Organization; the best way to fight the Organization would be with a Strong Antenna. What if Trent was trying to make me into a Strong Antenna?
I considered this chain of reasoning. It seemed very plausible, especially after Allison's cryptic messages. Was she trying to warn me of this? But that smile, and the "see you soon"... If she wasn't being possessed, why would she be seeing me soon?
Suddenly my thoughts gave way like a broken dam as I heard a ping come from Ava's radar. I jumped, thinking that all of the electronics turned off with the ignition, but when I looked at the circular sonar map, I saw a red dot had just emerged in the top-right corner. I looked out the window in the direction of the ping, but I couldn't see anything heading down the road.
Ping. Ping. Ping. Ping. Ping.
Four more dots appeared behind the first, and they were approaching.
I jumped out the van and ran over to where Trent was hauling in a large cardboard crate into the back of the van. "Trent, there's pings on the radar. A bunch of them."
He dropped the box next to three others, and I realized I had never seen inside the back of the van. It was filled with what looked like pneumatic tubes wired into circuits, and in the center was a tri-pod which was holding a large halo-shaped ring.
"Pings?" Trent said, then his face widened with shock as he realized what I meant. "Shit, how many?"
"Five, maybe more now. And they're getting closer."
"Five?" He jumped out the back and ran into the storage locker. I thought he was going to close the door, but when I saw him hauling boxes back toward the van, I yelled at him. "What are you doing!?"
"I need to load this up for tomorrow. Here," He tossed me his keys. "Get it started."
"Fuck, seriously?"
Trent didn't respond, only kept shuffling boxes into the van.
I turned and ran to the door and hopped in the driver's seat. As I was turning on the ignition, I saw the row of bushes that was just outside of the facility begin to rattle. The next sweep revealed a whole sea of pings. I rolled down the window and shouted Trent's name.
"One more, that's all. Get in the passenger seat, I'll be there in a sec."
I scooted over the center console and waited, clutching at the bottom of my pants legs. Just as Trent slammed the rear door of the van shut, I saw the first figure emerge onto the road ahead of us. It looked like some kind of large coyote, though it was hard to tell because it was still fifty meters out.
"Now detecting 53 controlled agents." Ava said right as Trent jumped in and shut the driver's side door. "Net anomalies: 53."
"Ava, increase radius to five miles." Trent instructed as he backed up all the way to the end of the lane and spun us around toward the gate. Just as we left, I saw the pack of coyotes stalking toward us, slow at first, then in a dead sprint.
"Increasing radius." Ava responded. "Increased. Recalculating… Recalculating… Re—complete. Now detecting 451 controlled agents. Net anomalies: 451."
"What does 'controlled agent' mean?" I asked.
"Hold on," Trent said and accelerated into the gate, bursting through it. The whole van shook, and I heard my phone fall in the crack between the seat and door. Trent steadied the van, then said, "It means the things chasing us are being controlled by something that isn't detectable."
"The demon?"
"That'd be my guess."
"But why can't Ava detect it?"
Trent switched to the right lane, then merged onto the Interstate-South ramp. "Probably because it isn't trying to kill us."
"Then, what—" I looked back at the map and basically had my question answered. All 451 pings were coalesced in a semicircle on one side of the map. The side of the map that we had just come from. "Is it trying to force us toward the crash site?"
"It seems that way." Trent answered.
"Trent, pull over."
"Huh?"
"Pull over!" I yelled.
He looked at me, eyes wide. Then he did as I had instructed and pulled off in the middle of the ramp. The red dots slowly closed in on our position.
"Now detecting—"
"Shut up, Ava." I said. I could feel my blood boiling. "I'm not going one step further until you tell me the truth. Why are we going to my origin point? What is your real motive?"
"What do you mean? I already told you."
I unlocked the passenger side door.
"Wait," Trent said and reached out toward me. "Just, wait."
There was silence, except for the pings indicating that the beasts behind us had re-encroached on our position to about fifty meters.
"Okay, I didn't tell you everything. But we don't have time now—"
I opened the door.
"Okay, okay. I didn't tell you everything, it's true. I've never done this with anyone else, but the reason is because I never needed to. And if I told you what might happen, you would have refused it."
"Refused what?"
"This—me, my help. Lauren, I am trying to help you. But you have to understand—it's likely that neither of us are going to live past tomorrow. You're basically confronting a dark entity in a place where I can't protect you, and if you somehow do manage to kill it, you'll be coming back to the fight of your life. Because I don't have the power to hide you from the Organization. They're going to show up and try to take you. I really don't know how you've lasted as long as you have. Whatever protection you had growing up, it's gone now. And now I'm all you have. And in some twist of fate, you're all I have."
Ava reactivated. "Now detecting 1,117 controlled agents. Proximity till contact: 20 meters. Net anomalies: 1,117."
I closed my door. "But what if I still don't want to go through with it?"
Trent pointed at the screen. "Then we die right here, right now, together. Because I am one-hundred percent certain that if we don't go to that crash site, we're dead anyway. All of us."
Another ping rolled through. I checked the side-view mirror and saw the swarming pack of dogs reach the van and bound around the rear wheels. I suddenly recalled the conversation I had with Father Martin and the conclusions I had drawn. Father, I've been… wrestling with something, and I think God wants me to confront it. I think I've been running away and hiding from it for so long that I'd convinced myself it disappeared...
"Go," I said just as I felt the collision of the coyotes slamming their bodies against the side doors.
Trent didn't waste any time stepping on the gas. I watched as the coyotes diminished in the distance and the pings receded into the back of the map, never disappearing fully, but covering the flank of our retreat—a reminder lingering on the edge of our awareness that there was no turning back now. That, one way or another, this was ending tomorrow.
And I'd either be dead, or something else entirely.

First off, big thanks to the dozen or so users who sent me this book through PDF files or Google document links. Seriously, I got maybe a dozen messages, so thanks!
Written in 2002 with the help of journalists Kristie McLellan, this is a truly wild book that is honestly a mess to read. It's structure was fucked up, it jumped around with no focus and just featured Diana shading literally everyone.
As always, I kept this as much in chronological order as possible, hope y'all enjoy.
In the first paragraph of the book, she says Davey Boy Smith was doping her drinks so he could r*pe her every night. She said she never should have married him.
Diana had a massive crush on Dynamite Kid when he first came to Calgary, but describes him as a sadistic masochistic psychopath who did so much steroids that he developed gross boils all over his body. She remembers that he would literally cut the boils off with a razor blade, saying how he hates to squeeze them but also hated to look at them.
"Smith is quite warped, but he's not a pervert." This is the first thing Diana says about her oldest brother Smith.
Diana says that Smith once ran over a bird and, not wanting to "waste anything," he took the creature home, cooked it, and served it to his family for dinner. Everyone put their forks down when Owen Hart told them where their meal came from and Diana says that Smith was hurt that no one wanted to eat his road kill.
Diana talks about Smith knocking up someone named Marla that their dad would refer to as an "arena tramp." Smith hid the pregnancy from his parents until they spotted Smith with the 8 month pregnant girl. Diana says that because the mother Marla was known to sleep around, Stu refused to acknowledge the baby girl as a Hart. Diana says the girl grew up nice enough but the Hart's really have nothing to do with her.
Diana doesn't expand much on the mother, but Bret did say in his book that the first person Smith knocked up was an ex girlfriend of Bret's. This would be the first of many times in this book where Diana casually mentions an adult knocking up a teenage girl.
Diana says Smith would have a couple more children out of wedlock. Bret says the number of kids Smith truly had is a mystery. One of the girls he knocked up was a 15 year old who later became a prostitute and gave the child up for adoption. The girl would later die, wether it was suicide or overdose is anyone's guess.
Diana says that Stu made it clear that she and Owen were his favorite children. Good grief. All the Hart kids suffer from this "Stu loved me more than the rest" ideology.
Diana describes how a 14 year old Bret would fight with his 15 year old sister, leaving bruises on them that they would later show Stu. Diana says Bret is the only Hart boy who had to be routinely told not to hit girls.
Diana remembers how Bret would routinely hide from Stu, who would track him down and cuff him hard upside the head. Diana praises her dad's "cuffing ability" because it would hurt, make a loud noise, but not do any damage. So she claims.
Diana casually mentions someone called "Bob Johnson" as a wrestling fan who moved into the Hart House in 1989 to help with their mom's office work, but Diana says he stayed there for nearly a decade. She describes him as a pretty gross individual who left his child pornograohy lying around. She doesn't go into more detail on who he is or why he was there for over 8 years but it's just a big "What the fuck" moment while reading her book.
Diana describes how all the kids had to show up for Sunday dinner, regardless of who you were angry at or what was going on. Diana says by the time all the kids got married, these weekly dinners would be super hostile get together full of fights and catty remarks.
Diana makes a point of saying "on the rare occasion that Owen's wife Martha came to one of these dinners, she would just contradict everything anyone says." Diana paints Martha in a pretty bad light in this book.
Diana says that if these dinners got the slightest big chaotic, Owen and Martha would always just immediately leave. She says the family would always react poorly to this and accuse Martha of pulling Owen away from his own family. Diana suspects Owen just had enough fighting and didn't want to subject his wife and kids to it. Smart man.
She doesn't talk much about her brother Ross, but in a chapter dedicated to Dean, she points out the differences between the two, despite sharing the same birth date, five years apart. She calls Dean open and honest, and describes him with love and affection, while describing Ross as the opposite, and even randomly saying, "He still harbors big secrets." Ross is one of those Hart's who I have literally never heard a negative thing about tbh, him and Wayne are always regarded well. So it's weird to hear someone speak badly about Ross.
Diana says one time in Hawaii visiting Dean who was loving there, Dean got her to help him move some boxes. The boxes were owned by a guy named Ronnie Ching, who once spent time in jail for murder. In the boxes was ammunition and other criminal paraphernalia and Diana says she and Dean got their fingerprints all over the boxes that day. Dean was storing the boxes at his apartment for this Ronnie Ching fellow.
A Honolulu city prosecutor named Charles Marsland was convinced that Ronnie Ching had murdered his son, but couldn't prove it, but he was absolutely out to get Ronnie. Diana says the police chief actually warned wrestler King Curtis Ikea to get ahold of Dean and get him back home asap, because this prosecutor Charles "isn't taking prisoners."
Charles Marsland eventually got ahold of the boxes and brought Dean in for questioning based off his fingerprints. Dean didn't say anything and after he was released, fled back home on King Curtis's advice. The boxes were eventually linked to Ronnie Ching, and he got indicated on 11 counts. The boxes were filled with guns and ammunition. Ronnie, mistakenly believed that Dean flipped on him and years later, after Dean thought things had cooled down, actually went back to Hawaii where Ronnie tracked him down and along with several other men, beat Dean near to death. Most think that Ronnie (or whomever attacked Dean) thought they had legitimately killed Dean that night. He was fucked up and most people think this is when his kidneys really got fucked up. It's impossible to say though since Dean rarely went to a doctor about it and never followed their advice.
This was all from Diana's POV but it's honestly the most in depth account that I've heard when it comes to how Dean was nearly beaten to death.
Diana talks about how fucked up Dean was afterwords with his kidneys failing. She said he would sit in front of the oven, open it up and crank it to 500 as he ate shaved ice. His kidneys couldn't even process water so Dean couldn't eat or drink, he just chewed on shaved ice as he deteriorated further and further.
Diana talks about something that I have always had an issue with, Dean just needed a basic kidney transplant and had 13 viable doners right there who all just watched him die. Don't get wrong, he wasn't following doctors advice so there is a chance the donation would have been wasted, but it's still shocking that no one stepped up. Bret talked about this in his book, and spoke in shame about how he didn't want to derail his career before it got going in the late 80s when Dean needed the transplant.
Diana says no one talked about a potential transplant too much and no doctors ever really pushed them to do it. They didn't know how fast Dean was dying and didn't realize the timetable he had. Diana spoke earlier in the book about how Stu hated being sick and trained his kids to think they were immune to illness. No one took Dean's kidney failure as seriously as they should have because they all thought the Hart's were indestructible at the time. How times change.
The last time Diana saw Dean, she asked him, "how are you doing?" To which Dean replied, "Barely functioning." They had a laugh and Diana didn't think much of it, but two days later, Diana says Allison's daughter Brooke found Dean dead, naked and laying on the bathroom floor.
Diana was at Bret Hart's house when Dean died. She says she was trying to bury the hatchet with Bret's wife Julie after Diana alledgedly said that Bret only married her because she got knocked up. Diana doesn't deny saying this, but does comment that she thinks Bret and Julie would have gotten married with or without a kid, so it sounds like she did say that. Diana says Julie refused to return her calls for over a year.
While visiting together, Diana remembers Julie answering the phone and Diana remembers seeing Julie's face fall and darken before she quickly hung up. Julie just told Diana to call home, where her sister Allison told her that Dean had died. She and everyone else in the family was blindsided by this, and I think it's because of how Stu raised them all to think they were above being sick.
Owen was wrestling in Germany when Dean died and Diana thinks his wife Martha convinced him not to come home for the funeral because Martha was with him in Germany. Martha's sister and mother attended the funeral and read a card that Owen had written. Diana makes fun of the way Martha's mom pronounced her name like "Marta."
Diana says Martha's sister was very nice but didn't understand why she was so nice to Martha, who Diana said was "always a bitch to her."
Diana says that Martha's mom got super drunk at Dean's funeral and "pushed drinks" on Diana's mom Helen.
Diana says after they scattered Dean's ashes, everyone but Bruce's wife joined hands as her brother Wayne sang "Hallelujah." Bruce's wife is a young girl named Andrea, who will eventually leave Bruce for Diana's husband Davey Boy.
Diana talks a bit about Wayne (no one ever does so I wanted to hear anything on the guy) and describes him as a bit of a hippie who got a long much better with his mom than his dad. Stu never liked his long hair or his smoking, she says Stu attributed that type of stuff to peer pressure and felt his kids were above any sort of society type pressures.
Diana remembers how Stu would be backstage before a Stampede show and trying to get the guys to cut out the weapons and over the top angles, but right after he left, Bruce would stand up and say, "Fuck him, he's senile. I'm the one who calls the shots around here."
Truly horrifying tale incoming. Dynamite Kid's manager was John Foley, an old school shooter from Europe who helped train Billy Robinson. By the time John Foley got to Calgary he became a drunk, and used the death of his son as the excuse for his drinking. John had a daughter who was in a minor car accident when she was 20 years old. John thought he had a big settlement payday coming, but was disappointed when the xrays showed his daughter was fine. This is the fucked up and truly sickening part. John took his daughter to Dynamite Kid and asked Dynamite to break his daughters legs so they will have a a chance at a settlement. They did it. They gagged her mouth with a towel and held her down as Dynamite Kid smacked her knees with a mallet until both of them were broken. The insurance company awarded them 20 grand but the poor girl's legs never recovered and she never walked normally again. Last Diana heard, she was very heavy with completely useless knees. This story didn't come out until Dynamite Kid went back home and his terrified wife Michelle was able to tell someone. Dynamite alledgedly beat her all the time and poor Michelle was too afraid to tell anyone.
Diana says Michelle would often call her and Davey Boy up in the middle of the night, panicked and crying, saying how Dynamite is threatening her with a loaded gun. Dynamite would often pull the trigger of an empty gun pointed at Michelle and menacingly tell her how one day it may be loaded.
Another horrifying tale here, Diana claims that Michelle once confided to her how one time while partying with Wayne's girlfriend Sandra, Dynamite Kid spiked their drinks and r*ped them both.
Chapter 15 is titled "Bruce and Andrea" and I was wondering how much Diana would talk about her creepy 33 year old brother knocking up his 17 year old student.
Good lord, while Ive read that Bruce was 33 and Andrea was 17 when they met, Diana says here that Bruce was actually 37 and Andrea was only 14.
Diana calls Andrea a "ring rat" who would hang around the wrestling shows looking to hook up with guys.
Diana says Bruce was heartbroken over some former girlfriend (who was also younger than him and also a high school student) when he met Andrea, and soon enough, Andrea was tagging along in the van with Bruce to shows. Diana even claims that the two would have sex in the van while the other guys had to awkwardly not look or pay attention because Bruce was technically their boss.
When Andrea was 15, she told Bruce she was pregnant, despite saying she was on birth control. Diana suspects Andrea was never on birth control and her plan all along was to get knocked up by one of Stu's kids. Andrea's mom Bunny, confronted Stu shortly after Andrea got knocked up and said if Bruce doesn't marry her and take care of Andrea, then they would go to the papers with a story about Stu Hart's 38 year old son knocking up his 15 year old student.
Diana calls this Bunny woman the stupidest person she ever met and legitimately insane. Diana says that Bunny later confided to the Hart's that she ordered Andrea to get knocked up by Bruce. What the fuck am I reading?
After Bruce and Andrea got married, Diana claims Andrea would throw a ton of parties while Bruce was on the road, and that she was having sex with multiple men each night, with her baby in the next room.
Diana says Andrea lied about having a miscarriage in late 1990, saying she instead got breat enhancement surgery that Stu and Helen Hart paid for.
Diana was very angry that her mom was giving Andrea $800 per week as just spending money, meanwhile Diana claims that Stampede Wrestling couldn't afford to pay Davey Boy for some shows he worked. Diana is also upset that Bruce was making $1000 per week to run Stampede Wrestling in its sorry state on its last legs. The amount of money I hear about Stu Hart wasting, always shocks me.
Diana says her mom would routinely threatening to kill herself over financial struggles.
Diana talks about how her and Davey were struggling financially and that Davey would let Allison Hart's piece of shit husband, Ben Bassarab and Hermesh Austin park all their sketchy stolen cars on their property in exchange for a loan to cover their mortgage. Diana says she isnt sure how involved Davey Boy got with Hermesh's criminal activities and she genuinely doesn't want to know.
Diana talks about about this Hermish person and says he is the one who got Davey hooked on coke and how this Hermish guy would brag about slitting a guys throat in Germany. Hermish Erach Austin would later be convicted to life in prison after he tortured and murdered some poor fellow, incorrectly believing he stole $10,000 from him. Austin crushed the man's hands in a vice, his ears cut off with scissors and the soles of his feet burned with a blow torch, all while this poor man begged and pleaded for his life. Austin then drove him a few miles out of Calgary where he slit his throat and shot him in the head before burrying him. A few years later one of his accomplices would flip on him and tell the police everything, leading to his arrest and sentencing. Diana expands on this a bit in her book, saying that she thinks Hermesh killed around 50 people.
Diana says Jim Neidhart is the most wicked man she ever met and calls him a moster. Jim married her sister Ellie, and says Jim left her body bruised and lumpy from years of being her punching bag.
Diana actually talks about Ellie dating a man named John who was her soulmate. They dated for 4 years until her family convinced Ellie she needed to leave him because he was paralyzed and in a wheelchair. Apparently Stu and Helen hated seeing Ellie push him around and said a girl as pretty as her shouldn't be doing that. They also hated that John couldn't have kids so Ellie wouldn't give them grandchildren if she stayed with him. Diana then casually mentions how Ellie broke up with John after he made a pass at their sister Alison.
Diana says that Jim Neidhart was on a University scholarship for Shot Put, but was eventually expelled after he tried to extort the school for money. He didn't go to class and demanded money in exchange for him being on the shot put team. He was tossed in jail and expelled.
After thir 3rd child, doctors informed Ellie that she would have to have her tubes tied. It sounds like Stu and Helen were heartbroken over this and Jim was furious because he wanted a son.
Diana says Jim would go on the.road for a couple weeks and only leave Ellie with $10 and order her not to leave the house.
Diana says Jim was doping Ellie's drinks and rping her every night. She says that Jim would teach this "trick" to Davey Boy. Diana also says the repeated rping left Ellie with bad hemeroids and she could never afford the cream to treat it.
Diana says Davey Boy knocked some other girl up just a few weeks before they got married. She later says that Alison's husband Ben moved in with a girl named Monique, and Diana says that Monique later claimed to get knocked up by Davey Boy before Diana married him. I'm unsure if Diana is referring to the same person here, or if Davey Boy knocked someone up and another girl also claimed to have been knocked up the same time.
Diana and Davey Boy moved to Florida in the early 90s where her sister Ellie and Jim Neidhart were as well. This is where Diana says that Davey Boy started drugging and r*ping her. She says that Duke "The Dumpster" Droesse showed Davey how to make liquid GHB (Gamma-hydroxybutyrate) to "help with sleeping." She was confused why she had hemeroids and was waking up sore and with bruises. When she explained this to Ellie, Ellie just casually said "That's what Jim would do to me."
Diana says Bruce's wife Andrea would drink and smoke pot and do drugs through all her pregnancies. Really helps explain their 3rd child being born 2 months premature and nearly dying.
Diana says that Andrea was getting pregnant again and again and again with hopes of Helen and Stu giving her and Bruce the Hart House.
Diana says Davey Boy failed a WWF drug test in early 1992 for Ecstacy and MDMA. She says Vince told Davey that he would wind up killing himself if he continued down this road.
Diana puts over her preformance leading up to the 1992 SummerSlam where Davey Boy and Bret wrestled in the main event. She says that Vince McMahon asked Bret and Davey to come up with the finish on their own so he would be suprised. First time I've heard Vince doing this, I think Diana got worked by someone here.
Diana remembers seeing Davey Boy after the match and him asking her how the match was because he couldn't remember it. She thought he was joking initially.
Diana compares Davey Boy being fired to Bret winning the WWE title following their match. Davey was fired after Ultimate Warror ratted on Davey Boy to the Drug Enforcement Agency. Vince apparently told Davey that he would hire him back once things cooled down. She legitimately believes that Davey Boy would have won the WWF title instead of Bret, had he not been fired.
Diana says Davey Boy and WWF battled over legal rights to the Bulldog name. Diana is bitter and points out how Vince still sold Bulldog merchandise after he fired Davey and they never saw a dime.
Diana says Davey Boy hated working for WCW and calls out Vader for being reckless in his matches with Davey.
Diana randomly says that she finds Sting to be overrated.
Diana talks about the event at a bar in July 1993, where Davey Boy alledgedly assaulted someone for hitting in Diana. She describes it as Davey putting some drunk asshole in a front face lock, and walking him over to the bounces to let him go. She says when Davey let him go, the man fell and hit his head. Eye witness accounts claim that Davey Boy just picked the guy up and spiked him down on his head. Diana vehemently denies this claim, calling it impossible. The man would sue Davey Boy and risk sending him to jail for a serious assault charge. Diana says while tye judge eventually ruled in their favor, it cost her and the Hart Family over $500,000 in legal fees.
Diana says WCW used the pending lawsuit and legal battles to withhold a bonus they promised him. She says at one point in a meeting, Eric Bishoff pulled out his false teeth, slapped them on the table and challenged Davey Boy to a legitimate fight over the money.
Diana says WCW let Davey Boy go after he failed a drug test and refused rehab.
When WWF reached out to Davey Boy in 1994 about returning, Diana claims Hulk Hogan called up Davey Boy to pitch him coming back to WCW and says Davey Boy struggled to pick where to go. She said Davey Boy really trusted Hogan but didn't trust WCW.
Diana says WWF wanted her to be a heel on the road with Davey Boy and cutting promos but Bret nixed the idea and pushed against it. She thinks Bret was afraid of having multiple family members in kayfabe shitting on him and what that would do to his reputation. Diana says the WWF was really impressed by her promo work.
She would do some valet work though for Davey Boy and Owen, Diana puts over that time as well as Jim Cornette who got involved as well.
Diana says that WWF wanted her to be an on screen heel who makes a move on Shawn Michaels, who turns her down. So she goes and tells Davey Boy that she turned down his advances to kickstart a big rivalry. Davey Boy hated the idea and Diana says that her parents and Bret talked her out of doing it. Though she does wonder if this could have been her big break and become a wrestling star.
Diana spends a chapter talking about the saddest tragedy in the entire Hart Famlily history, little Matt Hart. Allison and BJ's 13 year old son Matt contracted a rare and deadly flesh eating disease that tore through him in under 2 weeks before he passed away. Both Diana Hart and Nattie Neidhart talk about how disfigured Matt became before his death. Diana says the doctors told them that Matt was the sickest child in the country at that time.
Diana spends a chapter taking about Owen and Martha Hart, and all but calls Martha a ring rat. No one has ever made that claim about Martha as far as I know.
Diana randomly brings up how Martha's sister Virginia had an affair with her son's hockey coach. She says Owen wanted nothing to do with Martha's sister.
Diana says that Owen fell in love with some girl in England named Louisa, and that Owen confided to Diana that he wanted to leave Martha and that Louisa was everything he wanted. Diana says Martha "wouldn't have it" before describing how Martha manipulated Owen into staying with her. She says that Owen had never broken up with a girl and didn't want to hurt her. Diana says that Owen told her, "I just can't hurt her, so I'll live with it then. Christ."
Diana calls Martha "a dominating and controlling partner in their relationship."
Diana describes how Martha's aunt got too drunk at Owen/Martha's wedding.
Diana says Martha was always victimizing herself and making Owen feel like he needed to take care of her.
Diana says that while on the road with Owen in 1995, he confided to her how unhappy he was with his marriage and specifically calls out Martha's mother who was living with Martha and Owen. Diana says Martha's mother had a big drinking problem.
Diana says that none of the Hart's were invited to Owen Hart's son's christening and Diana says Helen was especially hurt. Owen defended this by claiming they wouldn't have bothered to even show up on time.
Diana says Martha didn't want to tell the Hart's when she was pregnant because Martha believed it would curse her baby.
Diana says that Davey Boy tried morphine for the first time the weekend of the Calgary Stampede show in 1997. She says she heard about this from her son Harry because Davey Boy decided to confide about using morphine to his 13 year old son.
Diana randomly shades Ken Shamrock, calling him out for having a ton from stripper girlfriends in Calgary, while always pretending to be a devoted family man.
When Davey Boy and Shawn Michaels headlined the One Night Only ppv in September 1997, Diana says that Bret was furious that he wasn't main eventing. She says Bret made a big stink over it and even threatened to quit the company.
Diana says she first figured out Davey had a drug problem on Halloween in 1997 when Davey was suffering from withdrawl and couldn't even sit up on his own one night.
Diana criticizes Bret, calling him a hypocrite for not trusting Vince while Bret was secretly wearing a wire and recording their conversations. She is referring to the Wrestling with Shadow's documentary crew and how Bret was mic'd.
Diana remembers being at the show for the Montreal Screwjob and how Davey Boy thought it was weird how Vince wasn't wearing a big suit like he usually does.
Diana says that Davey Boy hurt his knee during the post-match kerfuffle.
Diana repeats a claim that Bruce Hart made in his book, that Bret disowned Owen as a brother following the Montreal screwjob. Bruce and Diana both say that Bret was furious when Owen didnt quit WWF and was given a massive raise instead. Diana even says she remembers Bret screaming, "That fucking Martha! She's got Owen so fucking p*ssy-whipped! Fuck her, she doesn't know what she is talking about, she doesn't unsterstand the wrestling business!" Bruce Hart maintained in his book that Bret and Owen never really talked again or repaired their relationship before Owen died. Bret denies this and describes tons of times him amd Owen kept up following the Screwjob.
Diana says that Owen got tired of Bret calling him all the time and says Owen eventually told Bret, "I'm sick of you, I'm sick of all this." She says Owencjust wanted to retire to a remote place where no one knows his or the Hart name. She remembers all he wanted was for people to leave Martha and him alone.
Diana says Bret never got over the Screwjob.
Diana describes how Bret hounded Davey and her every day trying to get Davey to leave WWF just like Bret was doing by calling Owen and Martha daily.
Davey Boy's first WCW match back in 1998 was against Steve "Mondo" McMichael and Diana claims that Eric Bishoff told Davey Boy to break Steve's arm for real. Apparently Eric said he was tired of dealing with him.
Diana also says that backstage before the match, Arn Anderson told Mondo to go do some coke so he could preform better. She says Davey Boy was mortified by the lack of care to the wrestlers in WCW.
Diana says Davey Boy immediately regretted jumping to WCW and says Bret refused to help him backstage or with his booking. Diana remembers a day when Davey Boy broke down crying at the dinner table, saying how he shouldn't have left Vince and how he hates Bret.
By mid-1998, Diana says Davey was "like a vegetable," and described how he just laid on the couch all day and needed help doing everything other than using the bathroom or shooting up.
Diana says he family didn't believe her when she tried to confide to them about how bad Davey was. Diana says she was told that she was being hysterical.
Diana describes how she would use a water pistol on Davey Boy when he became despondent and her sisters would act like she is abusing him. She describes how tough it was to keep care of big Davey Boy when his body would shut down.
Diana remembers how her kids would ask her why their dad has sores all over his arms and why he behaves like a zombie.
Diana says Davey Boy became a "public embarrassment."
It was Friday night in early December when Diana remembers watching Edward Sissor Hand with her son Harry while Davey spent the day shooting up morphine and being a vegetable on the couch. She says after she put Harry to sleep, she wrote a letter to herself and then got worked up and wanted to confront Davey. He was passed out in bed, so a manic Diana grabbed a bottle of Xanax and downed what she thinks to be 100 pills. She told Davey if he loves her he will call an ambulance for her. She watched as he struggled to sit up and realized she doesn't want to die. She called 911 and confessed what she done and they told her to get dressed, unlock the door for the ambulance and lay down.
Diana says her heart stopped 4 times on the way to the hospital.
Keith Hart says Diana was never the same after her suicide attempt and that she was a shadow of herself.
Diana says her mother Helen was more concerned about some party she was planning in a few weeks and wanted to know if Diana could make it. Diana also says Helen told her not to tell anyone what happened to her.
Diana says her brother Keith confided to her afterwards that Davey is "as bad as Elvis" when it comes to his drug problems.
Diana also remembers her brother Owen Hart lecturing her about never doing that again because she would have been leaving her kids with a drug addict.
Diana says she filed for divorce in January 1999, and with the help of her brother Bret Hart and his wife Julie, the 3 of them confronted Davey over all his issues and eventually got him to agree to rehab and Diana agreed to put off any divorce for now.
Diana claims that Davey Boy would cheat on her with nurses from the rehab clinic.
Diana says Davey checked himself out of rehab a week early, citing kidney problems that no doctors agreed were actually present. She says he then tried to fake every illness or sickness he could to get administered to a hospital where they would give him drugs.
Diana says she desperately called WWF in 1998 and asked if they would hire her as a valet/manager, and she even pitched working with Owen. She says Owen later scolded her for this and told her she shouldn't get involved in wrestling and that it would only make her more unhappy.
Shockingly enough, Davey would get his wish when he got a legit staph infection and had to go to the hospital. Diana remembers watching the nurses or doctors struggle to find a vein on Davey.
The doctors told Davey that his career was over, and Diana says "this eclipsed Bret's retirement," but this was 1998, and Bret hadn't retired yet. I'm not sure what she means.
Diana says WCW released hum by fax while Davey was in the hospital for over a month. Diana says Owen got Davey back in touch with the WWF and claims that Vince promised Davey a job even if he couldn't wrestle.
Diana says she and her kids were watching the 1999 Over The Edge ppv by coincidence because Diana wanted to get up to speed on WWF storylines as Davey was heading back. She said she stepped away for a few minutes before a TSN reporter called her and asked about Owen's condition and that they were praying for him. After she hung up, her son Harry came running over, saying something happened to Owen.
Diana says that Stu called her first to tell her Owen died because of how close she and Owen were.
Diana said she later found out that Bret spent that night at Martha's to console her. But she hints at an affair which is just wild, though she tries to cover her ass by saying "I'm sure it was platonic, but" before ranting about how Bret manipulated Martha into wanting to sue Vince.
Diana says she spoke to Vince McMahon on the phone the morning of Owen's funeral, and she puts over how compassionate and loving Vince was.
Diana says that Bret will kill her for saying this, but she believes Owen Hart was like a son to Vince McMahon.
Diana says that only Bret and Ross were allowed to speak at the funeral and is very upset that her parents weren't asked to speak. Their older brother Smith wrote a lovely poem that he had hoped to say, as well as Bruce and Ellie, both hopeful they would be allowed to speak. Like Bret, Diana featured Smith's poem in her book and some of what Bruce and Ellie would have said. But Bruce mentioned in his book how he wanted to use Owen's funeral as a platform to make some passionate speech that he believed would bring Vince and Bret and the whole world together.
Diana says that Martha didn't thank Diana during Martha's speech at the funeral. Martha thanked each of Owen's siblings, except Diana. Diana says that later, Bret would bring this up and tell her that Owen thought Diana was useless and didn't like her.
Diana gave an interview to the Calgary Sun, where she said that Vince feels awful and called Owen's death an accident. She said Bret later called her screaming about how that undermines the investigation and accusing her of trying to get her and Davey jobs with WWF.
Diana says that Bret threatened to kill her during that call and promised that if he saw her on the street, he would run her down with her car. He then threatened to publish articles about Davey being a drug addict and Diana's suicide attempt. At the time, Bret had a weekly column in the Calgary Sun about whatever he felt like. Though, Bruce Hart claims to have written most of it until a jealous Bret fired him.
Diana says that Bret was adamant that Vince intentionally killed Owen that night, and there was nothing accidentally about it.
Diana remembers her sister saying that Owen's death would hit Diana and Bruce hardest since they were closest to Owen.
Diana says she tried to bury the hatchet with Martha after the funeral, but Martha's mom wouldn't let Diana in the house and told her, "Martha doesn't need anything from you."
Diana says Davey Boy fumbled every opportunity WWE gave him after Owen died, and one cold night in late 1999, she caught him injecting morphine into his arm. He tearfully begged her not to tell Vince.
Diana remembers her sister Ellie stopping by while Davey Boy was passed out on the couch. Diana pulled back his sleeves to show Ellie all his track marks from needle injections.
Diana served Davey Boy divorce papers in January 2000, and she remembers her parents berating her choice to leave him. She specifically remembers Stu saying to her, "You're no spring chicken!"
Diana says she told called Vince McMahon herself and told him about Davey's drug problem. Vince ordered Davey into rehab, and Diana remembers getting dozens of manic phone calls a day from Davey and how they terrified her.
Diana was dating and not wanting to be secretive about, told Davey Boy. She claims Davey reached out to some of his criminal friends, and her new date started getting phone call death threats.
Diana bought herself a place to stay away from Davey, but when Davey checked himself out of rehab, he moved right into Diana's place. She said she called the cops and was advised to leave. She had nowhere to go and moved in with that guy she was seeing.
Around the time WWF finally released him, Diana says Davey Boy, and some accomplice showed up at her boyfriends place with a tire iron and ski masks on, but the building security stopped them
Diana says Davey would regularly shoot up morphine in front of the kids.
Diana says Davey Boy OD'd 6 times from March to September in 2000.
Diana says she didn't care that Davey Biy was dating, but shocked when she found out Davey Boy and Bruce Hart's young wife were having an affair together. Diana says Bruce asked her to take Davey Boy back so that Bruce's wife Andrea would have to go back to Bruce.
Diana says Davey Boy threatened to "bootf*ck" her and her new boyfriend and threatened to slit her throat.
Once, Davey actually broke her door down, so she called 911 and remembers how one of the cops actually asked Davey for an autograph.
Diana points out how Martha dropped all contact with the Hart's after the Owen lawsuit and notes how Martha says whatever mean things she wants now, despite the fact that Stu and Helen paid her legal fees.
Diana ends her chapter on Owen and Martha by casually suggesting the Hart's should sue Martha.
Diana says at a WWF show in 2001, she ran into Owen's old valet, Deborah, who screamed at her for using the talent bathroom, saying that no one wants to catch whatever Diana has. Diana assumes Deborah was threatened by her when she saw Diana talking to Deborah's husband, Steve Austin. This is such a random little story she brought up at the very end of her book.
The book ends with Diana mentioning the RAW show in Calgary in 2001, where she and Bruce dragged Stu to the show after Bret and Martha asked them not to go. She says Bruce purposely sat her behind someone so the camera wouldn't see her. Smith got on camera with a sign that said, "Hi Bret."
She says Bret came to the house afterward and took baby pictures of Owen off the wall while yelling at them all for being selfish. She says Martha called the house and screamed at Helen, telling her to go to hell! Both of these have more or less been confirmed to have happened. Martha and Bret asked them not to go to the WWF show, with Stu and Helen both agreeing. But Bruce and Diana showed up the day of the show and literally dragged Stu to the show. Poor Helen didn't go and still got yelled at for it.
The book ends with her saying she is close to her kids and living with her boyfriend still.
She wrote this book before Davey Boy's death so we don't get any details there and I would have loved to hear some since Davey Boy was still with Andrea when he died, though Diana claims that Davey Boy reached out to her, just days before he passed, hoping to reconnect.
Both Andrea and Diana put on separate funerals, and Bruce said in his book that they were trying to outdo the other one. I would have loved to hear Diana's take on that.
Diana Hart went on record, saying that the book twisted her words and had been changed from how she written them originally. Though when Martha initially threatened legal action, Diana was quoted as saying, "Martha has money to fight me on it, and I don't. I know what I have written is true."
Tom "Dynamite Kid" Billington confirmed most of the stories involving him in the book are true. Why would anyone admit to what Diana said about him?
Co-wroter Kristie McLellan has stated that Diana Hart took her on "an amazing journey" when writing the book. Kristie continued her writing career, including helping pen one of the best sports books I've ever read, "Playing With Fire," the story of Theo Fleury of the Calgary Flames. I can't believe she helped write both of these books. One is in the top 5 sports books, and the other is in the bottom 5 books of all time for me.
Bret had publicly expressed skepticism to Diana's claim of ignorance on the book.
Diana actually went on to write a trilogy of romance novels that were well regarded and won some awards. Diana calls this book "a failure as a journey."
Diana still does the odd appearances and anything to help promote her dad and family, and in 2015, she sold all the rights to the British Bulldog to her son Harry. She seems close with all her siblings these days, except Bret.
I hope to find Martha Hart's book next, and then I think that would be the last of the Hart Family books that I've been looking for over the past year. Big thanks again to the users who helped me out with this book!

"Provider"
Justine has all the unstable rage of Faith but with neither the charisma nor a valid beef with the main characters.
Angel's channeling S1 Cordy, the constantly talking about money. I guess the cost of living for just himself was pretty low, as he's not living. Pig's blood probably doesn't cost much since the butchers just throw it away otherwise.
Damn, Jeffrey Dean Morgan! I wasn't sure it was him at first, because I'm not used to seeing him clean-shaven. It almost seems wrong for him to play a character that isn't a badass.
Angel talks about Connor going to Notre Dame, class of 2020, but that would be the year he graduates high school. He'd be college class of 2024. ...Fuck. I'm glad the little bastard got aged up, so he'd be like 38 now. He deserves it.
The way Sam talks about his best friend, going to all this trouble for the watch, the first thing he ever bought him, makes me think they were lovers.
This zombie ex-boyfriend subplot isn't working for me.
I swear the way Gunn and Wes are acting around Fred is exactly the way I and two friends acted around a certain girl when we were like 14, plus or minus. ...One of us did date the girl, and it wasn't me.
Aw, so sweet, watching Cordy feed her future baby daddy.
"Doublemeat Palace"
In the cold open, Xander looks like he's reacting to the idea of spending the rest of his life with specifically Anya. As much as I think he doesn't want to be married, I think he wants to be married to Anya even less.
Ah, I remember the old-ass training videos to start working at a restaurant chain. I'm triggered.
I'm suddenly noticing the bright red lipstick Buffy's wearing to work in a fast food joint.
I'm pretty sure that anywhere in the country, they'd be legally required to clock Buffy in before making her watch the training video.
I just don't like mixing red meat with white meat. Bacon on a hamburger, fine, goes really well. But chicken and beef? Pass.
So much of the humor of this episode is in SMG's facial expressions.
Are Spike and Buffy dry-humping or what? That particular activity really should be renamed, BTW.
Halfrek is a classic passive-aggressive frenemy.
That was a jumpscare when the worm thing stuck its head back out of the grinder.
Amy's nasty.
Oh, Buffy. She should have just extorted them for a large amount of money. Bet she could have gotten six figures, maybe seven.
"Waiting in the Wings"
Don't know where anyone gets the idea that Angel and Cordy don't have chemistry. I mean, they're not Buffy and Faith, but got some sparks going. And I'm a fan of deep friendship as a foundation for romantic love.
Summer Glau's acting debut, pretty awesome.
I wish the ballet troupe was free to live their lives in the 21st century. It's thematically appropriate, though, that freeing them from Kurskov means only that they fade away; in Giselle, Giselle manages to break free of the Wilis through the power of her love for Albrecht, then bids him goodbye and returns to her grave to rest in peace.
Fucking Groo.
"Dead Things"
The closer I get to "Seeing Red", the less I want to keep going.
The first time I watched this, when Buffy said, "I think the New Kids on the Block posters are starting to date me," I was unfamiliar with that phrase and thought she meant she was going nuts and starting to imagine they were real.
"Willing sex slave." And none of the Trio sees the contradiction. To them, "consent" is just an obstacle that they've discovered can be overcome by magic.
Huh. Amelinda Smith, the actress who played Katrina used to be married to Ethan Embry, which made me do a double-take because when I looked up the actress who played Allison (zombie ex-boyfriend subplot in "Provider"), I saw that she is married to him now.
Smith had one uncredited role after Buffy, and that's it. I'm surprised by how brief her career was.
Xander and Dawn's dance practice for the wedding = practice for their eventual wedding.
The cerebral dampener lasts, what, an hour? Less? And on one charge. Pretty useless. Fortunately.
Warren has a REALLY hairy chest.
If Warren hadn't panicked he might have realized, what's Katrina gonna do, tell the cops that Warren brainwashed her with a flash of light?
You'd think Buffy and Spike would have realized Katrina's body was cold.
And Buffy somehow gets blindsided next episode by Dawn having abandonment issues. Her insistence on turning herself in isn't heroic. It's self-loathing. It's prioritizing her own feelings over Dawn being left with no family at not even 16.
"Older and Far Away"
Why anyone would think Buffy needs to be set up is beyond me. She's not a wallflower. She could find a boyfriend if she really wanted to.
Spike and Halfrek recognizing each other. Weird moment.
Not Dawnie's best episode.
"Couplet"
Also, the closer I get to "Sleep Tight", the less I want to keep going. They were really determined to ruin just, like, everything this year, huh?
I could do without Gunn and Fred staring sappily at each other. Now I had to look up "sappily" because Firefox says it isn't a word, but it is, so ha!
Angel's jealousy toward Groo reminds me of Buffy's reaction to Joyce and Hank bringing Dawn home from the hospital.
Was there any reason to cut Groo's hair beyond making him look more like Angel? He needed modern clothes, yes, but some men in L.A. have long hair. Maybe Mark Lutz requested it.
"Loyalty"
Wesley's being a dick, but Gunn doesn't have much of a leg to stand on considering he and Fred are just coming off a fuckup where they lost sight of someone they were supposed to be watching because they couldn't stop sucking face.
I know Sahjhan traveled through time to rewrite the prophecy, but how'd he get the talking hamburger to go along with it? It's not a very helpful source if all it does is tell you that whatever ancient prophecy you've read is true and you're an idiot for thinking otherwise, even if it's not true.
Refusing to make a distinction between Angel and Angelus is one way Xander pissed off a lot of viewers, and it's what Holtz is doing, though his irrationality is easier to understand. Also, he doesn't want to fuck someone who's in love with Angel. Still, he does a lot of fucked-up things and calls it justice. Jenny's uncle at least admitted that justice had nothing to do with their tribe's vendetta.
"As You Were"
I hate it when the recap spoils the episode, like making it blindingly obvious Riley's coming back, even though I'm past being spoiled. I mean, I could have been watching with a newbie.
Right before Sam shows up, Buffy and Riley spend a really long time looking at each other like they're about to fuck.
I feel like they're trying to do too much with Sam in one episode, having her quickly endear herself to each of the Scoobies in a way that doesn't feel organic.
Riley's reappearance was a good way to shake things up for Buffy so she'd stop hooking up with Spike.
The helicopter couldn't land to pick Riley and Sam up? Are they just gonna dangle from the line all the way to Nepal?
"Sleep Tight"
Wesley isn't talking to Fred or Gunn about the supposed prophecy because he's butthurt. That's pretty much it.
I think Holtz would have killed Justine if she hadn't mouthed the party line. He doesn't deserve the blind loyalty she gives him. He doesn't care about anyone or anything except his revenge.
I'm really looking forward to when Wesley gets to threaten to take away Justine's bucket.
Threatening to murder a baby...No, Holtz is a monster. And Justine witnesses this and is fine with it. She's a monster too.
You know, I read some of a fic once. I liked the concept, but it was just this awful mess of typos that made it borderline incomprehensible, so I gave up. Anyway, Buffy arrives for some reason during the standoff, and she rather than Holtz ends up falling through the portal with Connor. Connor being a few months old, he can't eat solid food (and he's shown in this episode to still be on formula), and Buffy manages to induce lactation in herself to feed him. WTF did Holtz do here in canon?
"Hell's Bells"
Holy shit. That guy playing Xander's dad, Casey Sander--he played Bernadette's dad on The Big Bang Theory.
Man, the way Willow and Tara are making eyes at each other while helping Anya with her dress, it's a wonder they wait another two episodes before jumping each other's bones.
It's nice how Buffy and Spike can kind of just be, the way they did before they started fucking.
That string quartet is REALLY bad at reading the room.
The lame attempts to entertain the guests are certainly the kind of things Buffy would do.
Xander sucks. This might be the worst thing he ever did. No one held a gun to his head. He proposed, completely unsolicited, and persisted even when Anya thought it wasn't sincere. He had every opportunity to speak up after that. He waited until the worst possible moment.
Stewart's plan never would have worked if it weren't for Xander's insecurities. What was he going to do if the groom wasn't secretly terrified of turning into his drunkard father?
"Normal Again"
I've repeatedly seen assertions that the other Scoobies didn't do anything for Anya in this time, therefore they're bad friends, but she just vanished. They don't know where she's gone. What exactly are they supposed to be doing?
It rings false, the way this "doctor" talks about Buffy like she isn't even there. I'm not a mental health professional, but it seems harmful.
I noticed some time ago that the nerds always call Buffy the Slayer, never by name. Makes it easier if she's less of a person to them. Jonathan might have used her name a couple of times, but not Warren or Andrew. It's all part of their twisted cosplay.
Dawn misunderstands what the hallucination is about. It's not Buffy's ideal world. That would be too suspect, too easy to reject. And what about having been in a mental institution from 15 to 21 is ideal? But it is a world that, in many ways, is easier. There's no one she has to take care of; instead, others are taking care of her. No bills to pay. She doesn't have to fight monsters to the death. Her mom's alive, and her dad actually loves her.
Here's where you see the great writing. In another show, the challenge would be getting the demon and making the antidote. Buffy's hallucination would just be something that happens while she waits, and in a good show, it would provide insight into the character. But in Buffy, she has to overcome the hallucination, because getting the antidote was the relatively easy part; she has to choose real life over something that tempts her away from it.
Spike knows exactly how to make everything worse. People usually jump to the attempted rape, but him giving her that speech and threatening to tell the Scoobies about Buffy fucking him was high-grade toxicity. The assault really was the culmination of it all.
Kill, kill, kill. Kill, Buffy. Kill everybody. You know you want to.
Jokes aside, prescribing murder is an interesting treatment plan, even supposedly fantasy murder. I mean, in that situation, would you want to set the precedent that the way to get rid of the world you've decided isn't real is by killing the people in it?
I had the idea that the speech that lifts Buffy up came from the real Joyce thanks to TPTB, but the part where she talks like Hank's NOT a deadbeat...nah.
Circling back to the great writing, we don't see the part where Buffy takes the antidote. That part is irrelevant; she's already rejected the hallucination.
Joss Whedon on reality versus fantasy: "If [viewers] decide that the entire thing is all playing out in some crazy person's head, well, the joke of the thing to us was it is, and that crazy person is me."
Marti Noxon: "It was a fake out; we were having some fun with the audience. I don't want to denigrate what the whole show has meant. If Buffy's not empowered then what are we saying? If Buffy's crazy, then there is no girl power; it's all fantasy. And really the whole show stands for the opposite of that, which is that it isn't just a fantasy. There should be girls that can kick ass. So I'd be really sad if we made that statement at the end. That's why it's just somewhere in the middle saying 'Wouldn't it be funny if...?' or 'Wouldn't this be sad or tragic if...?' In my feeling, and I believe in Joss' as well that's not the reality of the show. It was just a tease and a trick."

Link to original nosleep post:
https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/comments/1akrt76/my_friends_and_i_went_on_a_hike_to_watch_a_total/
It was August 21st, 2017, and the future was...
...Dark. Literally dark.
That day, the first total solar eclipse visible from anywhere in the mainland United States since February, 1979, which some media outlets were calling “The Great American Eclipse,” was due to cast its shadow over America.
And it just so happened, that my city, and the surrounding area, would be in the path of totality that afternoon, putting us in its umbra - its darkest shadow, and allowing us to witness the moon completely block the sun and reveal its corona.
"You packed light." My best friend Josh pointed out to me that morning, gesturing to my obviously lightly packed backpack, as we walked from the parking lot to the trail.
"Don't these things only last a few minutes?" I replied, having only barely researched the lunar event.
But why should I have? After all, it had been Josh's brilliant idea, to propose to his girlfriend, Allison, during the total eclipse, and bring me along for the ride to take photographs, aka third wheel.
As a city guy, I never had any desire to go hiking in the wilderness, and had been dreading the trip ever since he told me about it. But Josh had been my best friend since elementary school, and had done more than enough favors for me over the years. So, I just swallowed my pride and went along with it.
"They're saying about two and half minutes from where we are, specifically." Allison corrected.
She's always been the best kind of nerd. I thought to myself, enviously.
But I tried not to make eye contact with her. There was too much history there, too many emotions. And on top of all that, she and Josh were about to get engaged.
"Got it." I replied, staring down at my feet, as I trudged along the rocky path, my boots crunching into the ground with every step.
What were you thinking? Agreeing to this? I internally kicked myself, immediately regretting the decision.
"You okay?" Josh asked. "You were pretty quiet in the car."
"Yeah, I'm okay, thanks."
I was not okay. But what was I supposed to say? "I'm still in love with your future wife?"
Let's take these photos and get the fuck out of here. I thought to myself, before sneaking a few shots of Josh and Allison holding hands, as they walked ahead of me, careful to not make Allison suspicious, and while also throwing up in my mouth a little bit.
—
But when we finally made it to the summit of the hill, where Josh had chosen to host the two-pronged occasion, I was pleasantly surprised to discover, that I was not third wheeling after all.
There, sitting side by side in beach chairs, each with a beer in hand, were Bob and Cara, a married couple that Josh and I had befriended at a bar one night a couple months prior, and, in a very short amount of time, had completely infiltrated our friend group.
"There they are!" Bob called out.
"Eclipse party!" Cara yelled out even louder.
"At least I have other people to talk to." I mumbled to myself, before turning to Josh and asking, "You didn't tell me Bob and Cara were joining?"
"Thought I'd surprise you." He said, with a cheeky smile.
"Theme of the day." I replied sarcastically, before immediately heading for the cooler, opening it, and reaching into its deepest depths, for the coldest beer I could possibly find.
But after I removed a bottle, and opened it with my keychain, I looked down, and happened to notice, that my finger was bleeding.
I didn't think much of it, so I just held up my bloody finger to the group. "Hey, anybody got a bandage?"
"Already?" Josh teased, shaking his head, "We can't take you anywhere."
"Take him anywhere?" Allison chimed in, "I blame Bob and Cara. What kind of weapons are you keeping down there, at the bottom of your cooler?"
The married couple simply sat there in silence for a moment, before turning to each other, then back at us, and bursting out laughing.
"Got us!" Cara said.
"Busted!" Bob added, before Josh tossed me the first aid kit and pivoted the conversation.
"Speaking of Bob and Cara. I just want to shout them out, for coming up with the eclipse party idea in the first place."
Everyone raised their beers, and cheered, as I wrapped a bandage around my finger.
Fucking Bob and Cara. I thought to myself, as I faked a smile and raised my bottle.
—
A few hours, and a lot of beers later, we were all sitting at the top of the hill, doing as friends do, and bantering about absolutely nothing of actual significance, when Bob looked down at his watch, and made an announcement.
"Ladies and gentlemen, the moment we've all been waiting for has finally arrived!" He declared, slurring his words a bit.
"Everyone, get your sunglasses!" Cara added, as she stumbled over to her backpack, and removed five pairs of cardboard sunglasses, specifically made for looking at eclipses, or so they claimed in the ads.
We all put them on...
...And looked up at the sky...
...But nothing happened.
Then, Josh lowered his sunglasses and started winking profusely at me.
"Oh, right!" I said, before reaching for my camera and pointing it at Josh, just in time to catch him getting down on one knee, removing a ring from his pocket, and holding it out to Allison.
At first, she was completely confused, and looked around at everyone, as if to ask, "What's going on?"
But then Josh uttered the words, "Allison, you're the love of my life... The apple of my eye... The moon to my sun."
Allison, Bob, and Cara all chuckled at the timeliness of the joke a bit, but I couldn't bring myself to laugh at it. I just stood there, hiding behind my camera, snapping photos, hoping it would end quickly.
Just get it over with already.
"Will you marry me?" Josh asked, to a dramatic pause, before Allison finally replied.
"Oh my! Yes! Of course I will!"
And like that, Josh placed the ring on her finger, hopped up, and the two kissed, still wearing their sunglasses, just as the moon began to eclipse the sun.
I snapped one last photo, which I'll admit, was pretty beautiful, before I couldn't bear to take it anymore, and had to put my camera down.
And that's when, things got...
...Weird.
As the moon continued to pass in front of the sun, the sky grew darker and darker, and, in combination with the eclipse sunglasses that I was still wearing, caused me to lose visibility.
Suddenly, I felt what I assumed was a raindrop...
...Before realizing that rain would have been impossible, given the clear visibility of the eclipse that day.
I removed my sunglasses, and whipped around, to see what the droplet could possibly have been, only to witness a gruesome sight...
...Bob, dimly lit, being hacked away at, by a shadowy figure holding a strange object...
...Blood spraying everywhere.
That's not rain.
It must have happened so fast, that Bob never even had a chance to scream.
But Cara, on the other hand, had a chance.
She immediately began wailing and crying at the top of her lungs, so loud that Josh and Allison were jarred out of their loving embrace, and began calling out to her.
"Cara?" Josh yelled out.
"What's wrong?" Allison added.
But then...
...Cara went silent.
I tried to will myself to warn Josh and Allison, to shout out, "Run!" but I was so paralyzed with fear, that I couldn't bring myself to utter the word.
So, I just followed my own advice, and darted away as fast as I could, knowing that whoever had just killed Bob, and seemingly now Cara, was close by.
But before I could get far, I heard what sounded like Josh grappling with the shadowy figure, and immediately stopped in my tracks.
I turned around, and tried to make out what was happening, against the sky, but it was still pretty dark, and the only thing I could see, was the glowing corona of the sun encircling the moon, the total eclipse now at its peak.
"Get away from her!" Josh cried out, before I saw what looked like him charge at the man.
But something must have gone terribly wrong, as the next, and last word, I ever heard out of Josh's mouth, was "No!"
As the moon began to move out of the total eclipse, and pass by the sun, enough light began to pour in, that I was able to see my best friend's body tumble to the ground.
And then...
...Silence...
...Until I heard Allison begin to scream.
"Help! Help!"
Now able to see her, dimly lit, and cowering in fear on the ground a few feet away from me, I jumped in front of her.
For a brief moment, we locked eyes, in what felt like four parts horror, one part longing, before we both looked back and saw, now fully illuminated....
...The slayer that had just wreaked havoc on our party, his face and body, covered in blood, his hands gripping what I now saw... was a scythe.
A fucking scythe!?
He slowly began to approach us, weapon in hand...
...Until he got a few feet away...
...And suddenly stopped, to look up at the moon...
...But it was gone.
In the moment that followed, he appeared to process what that meant, and what to do next, before...
...He simply turned around and walked away.
Allison and I sat there on the ground, shaking violently, as we clung to each other, paralyzed with fear, and watched him drift away into the distance...
...Until he was gone.
When we eventually conjured enough energy to stand up, we hobbled back to the parking lot, and drove Josh's car, to the closest police station we could find, remaining silent almost the entire time.
And after finally arrived at the precinct, it took us a good while to bring ourselves to speak, and describe to the authorities, the atrocities that had occurred in the shadow of the eclipse that day.
The cops immediately raced to the trail, and recovered the bodies of Bob, Cara, and Josh, but the man with the scythe...
...The eclipse killer, as the detectives joked...
...Was never found, left to roam the world and live amongst us, likely waiting to strike when the next eclipse arrives.
And as for Allison and I... while the events of that day could just as well have bonded us, or been taken as a sign that we were meant to be together, we never talked about it again, and slowly drifted away...
...Just as the moon had drifted away from the sun on the afternoon of August 21st, 2017.
Still to this day, whenever I hear that an eclipse of any sort is coming, I think back to that hike, and worry for those who dare to venture out of their homes to observe it.
While, I, however... stay the fuck inside.

w

Imagine yourself as one of the characters in the show. Think about the important moments of the show and consider what you would do or how you would react if you were in their shoes. You could also create your characters and explore how they would fit into the story.
(You can stop reading from here the rest down is what I would have done)
I’ll be honest I would be the worst😂 I’m team Black so I would be Rhaenyra If my friend dated my dad after my mom had died I didn’t know she was making the moves on him. I would be mad I wouldn’t want to be in the same room. I wouldn’t want to talk to you. I wouldn’t want to do anything that we have done before that friendship we had is no longer there, and from the point of view of Alicent she has the right to want a friendship but she doesn’t have the right to think that everything is OK and that nothing seriously has changed changed
If I had my first time experiencing what it’s like to be a commoner instead of a royal person, and I saw what she had seen - those people talking about how she could never rule properly and making fun of her because she was a girl - I probably would’ve said the same thing. It doesn’t matter what they think; who cares what they think? I probably would’ve been very selfish. Especially if their opinions were only based on the fact that I’m a girl, it doesn’t make sense. ’t matter what you think doesn’t matter what you want just be happy that you’re getting someone to rule
When Alicent questioned Rhaenyra about whether she had slept with Damon, I would have said the same thing Rhaenyra had said, which is 'No, I swear on my mother's grave I didn't do anything that you're accusing me of with that man'. I only say that because if you give me the ability without technically lying, I will. So if you ask me, 'Did you see that boulder fall down the cliff?' I'd say, 'Yeah, I saw the boulder.' Then you later found out that someone pushed the boulder and then you ask, 'Hey, do you know anyone that pushed the boulder or did you push the boulder?' Yeah, I did push it because I'm only answering what you directly ask me. To me, it doesn't matter whether or not I knew what the person was implying because if I wanted to go into more detail, I would have. Given who Rhaenyra was with that night, yeah, I would have lied too because I'm also a guilty person. I don't like it when other people get in trouble for me and my choices, so yeah, I would have kept that quiet because I wouldn't want him getting in trouble.
When Aemond got his eye cut for this one I will be Alicent because I could see from both sides honestly but if I was Alicent , I would have never tried to go after a child its very immature very dumb of me I would have went after the parent obviously I will go after your parenting skills it doesn’t matter if your a good parent or if I think you are a good parent you don’t have to know what I think but I would have went after the parent and not the child. From similar experiences I never got cut, but I was hit in the face with a weight pipe in the eye. I did need stitches. I could not see because of how the bandage was. My mom never went after the child that had did that she had went after the mother not the child so that’s what I would have. As Rhaenyra I would have again been the same way you’re not cutting my kids eye out just because my child got into a fight at most have him pick up dragon shit for three months but you’re not cutting my kids eye out, especially because he was the youngest there, so yeah, have him pick up dragon shit have him be your kids maid until his wound heals, but you’re not gonna make his eye out because if you do cut my kids eye out, then I have to cut both of your eyes out and that’s not gonna be fun.
I do believe her sons are bastards. I mean, it’s obvious. But I would have done the same thing. With the idea that I'm going to be the queen and the first queen, I still have my role of giving birth and giving an heir. And if the man that I was with, within the circumstances that they were in, couldn't conceive, having a... child, then I would've done the same thing. Because either way, it probably would've ended in someone having to do something. Also, on a side note, how was divorce back then? Could they get divorced? And if a man couldn't have a child, would it be blamed on the woman or could they investigate that?
I'll give credit while I'm probably being biased, but it doesn't matter because there's a fake scenario and I'm putting myself in there and just seeing what happens to that. I would do the same things as her. It's not up for debate. This purely is just for interest in what other people think and what you would have done whether or not it lines up with what the character is doing or you will cause chaos of your own.
I would have sat Alicent down at some point when I realized that she was getting more aggressive with her moves. I'm not gonna lie, I would've felt threatened by certain things that she was doing, and I think Rhaenyra realized that. I wouldn't have gotten up and walked across the whole castle just to show this girl my baby. I would have said, 'Tell her to bring her butt down here.'
I’m not walking I don’t care if you’re the queen or not. I don’t care if you’re the queen or not but I did see somewhere that explained why Allison had asked to see the baby we all know why, but it talked about how within the castle there must be some hidden secret passage, so Rhaenyra walking out openly free without using those passages. She was kind of showing people what Alicent was having her do. but besides that, I would have asked Alicent to sit down because I feel like I would have noticed things were getting too severe at that point I just have to ask questions. Like why are you doing all of this?
Why do you hate me? Why are you causing these issues? And what can I do to just get you to ignore me? You live your life and I live mine. Because I am the way I am. If she had said the truth and admitted that she knows I am going to get rid of her kids once I come into power, even though her kids are crazy besides Helena, when have I ever been mean to them? would’ve said what proof do you have that I have ever been mean to your kids? Even though your kids are crazy besides Helena, when have I ever been mean to them?

We all know Joey, a crazy old man who used an impressive piece of technology to bully his ex-friend from some odd years ago. So how could that and the forgivable and kooky supposed dad of Audrey be the same?
Unless cycle Joey isn't the real Joey and a fake like Allison and Henry?
Either cycle Joey is a recreation of the persona he puts off and he is trying to cover up his mistakes,
OR
He did it for good reason and so he could at least try to amend what he did before he passed away. He was too old to just go in there himself, so he made a fake to continue inside of the cycle.

​
To follow up with my last entry, it’s been about 3 months. I’ve been recovering from my injuries with the wendigo in the mine. Today I was finally able to head back to work. I was met with warm welcomes and greetings from my co-workers when I got in the break room that morning. I spotted Allison and she made her way over to me. She greeted me with a big hug. All the guys started whistling and making kissing noises.
​
“Screw off!” I yelled at everyone while smiling.
​
Our shift leader finally walked in with his normal greeting.
​
“Good morning everyone! First let's give a warm welcome to Renaes!” Tyler said.
​
Everyone began clapping and hollering for me. I sheepishly put my hands in the air like a proud boxer who won his first match. Tyler then started handing out shift sheets. Just like last time, my name was next to bio. My heart began sinking. The only thing I could think of was the deal I made with the wendigo. I hadn’t come up with a plan yet. On the ride down all I could think was “how am I gonna sneak a wendigo out of here?” I made my way around the mine, slightly paranoid, waiting for a wendigo to pop out of nowhere.
​
I dropped everyone off at their respected machines with no issues. I made my way over to the fuel depot. I parked the truck and grabbed my things and limped my way over to the now newly-furbished and repaired fuel truck. I opened the door and was met with a pleasant squeak. The mine shop team had completely repaired the truck and detailed it.
​
I threw my things into the cab and began performing my walk around. I walked to the back of the fuel tank and there standing in the darkness, were two glowing red eyes. My skin ran cold. I dropped my clipboard.
​
“You’re back…” I heard a low menacing voice whisper.
​
I was frozen with fear. The wendigo emerged from the shadows and approached me. The beast towered over me and I tried my best not to piss myself.
​
“Y-y-yeah. I’m back.” I stuttered.
​
Wendigo: “So have you figured out our escape?”
​
I began locking up.
​
Me: “Ummm-not really quite yet, but I’m going to figure that out-”
​
The wendigo raised a hand and cut me off.
​
“We had a deal. I gave you time to recover as requested. You will assist me in escaping tonight.”
​
And with that said, the wendigo turned and ran into the darkness.
​
I let out a sigh of relief. My mind was now racing. How would I possibly break him out, let alone tonight?
​
I finished my inspection and hopped in the semi. I began thinking to myself.
​
The mine closes late at night and I could possibly borrow a trailer and hide the wendigo inside. But there’s no way I would be able to do it alone. I started my truck and began making my way to the one person I knew would help me.
​
I drove through the mines doing my regular fuel runs. The engine brake echoing off the walls and transmission whining. I spotted Allison in her scaler. I tugged the airhprn signalling I was there to give her fuel. I backed up to the scaler and pulled the parking brake.
​
I hopped out and Allison met me. She looked nervous.
​
“Did it find you yet?” Allison stammered with a worried expression,
​
“Yeah it did. It wants me to break it out tonight,” I replied.
​
Allison: “But you just got back today! How can you possibly break it out? You’re not on haul truck duty.”
​
I began explaining the plan to her.
​
Me: “Your brother still has that racing trailer, right?”
​
Allison: “Yeah”
​
Me: “Ok so here’s what I'm thinking. Tonight we come back here when the mine closes. I'll bring my duramax with the racing trailer and I’ll tell Tyler I'm taking some pallets home tonight. We can load it in the trailer and bring it up with no problems. I don’t know where it wants to be released but I’m sure we could figure something out.”
​
ALlison: “Don't you think it's trying to trick us? What if we release it and it kills us?”
​
I stopped and thought of that. That thought had come across my mind.
​
Me: “I trust it, it would have killed you by now if that was the case.”
​
Allison’s expression went ice cold. I could tell she understood. I began unwinding the fuel reel and handed the nozzle to Allison as she climbed back up her scaler. I began pumping fuel into her machine. Then I heard the low elk whine. The wendigo appeared from the tunnel in front of me and Allison. It approached slowly and Allison jumped down and raced to my side. She grabbed my hand and began crying softly.
​
Allison: “Renaes I’m scared.” she whimpered softly.
​
The wendigo stopped in front us.
​
“Glad to see you two again.” the wendigo boomed. “Have you figured out my escape plan?”
​
I nodded my head slowly and began explaining the plan.
​
The wendigo stood expressionless as I began explaining the plan to it.
​
“This plan sounds very thought out. And what happens if it fails?” it chimed.
​
I hadn’t thought of that. Surely the mine security guard would want to search the trailer before I left.
​
“We’ll cross that bridge when it comes to that.” I stated. The wendigo nodded and turned. “I will see you all tonight.” it stated looking away from us. The wendigo sprinted off into the darkness and I let out a sigh of relief.
​
Allison released her grip and looked at me. “I’ll meet you at your place tonight,” she managed to croak.
​
Me: “Sounds good”
​
I finished the rest of my shift without any run-ins. I clocked out and began the drive home, Allison following me in her Jeep.
​
We pulled into my driveway and I parked my truck outside the garage. I led Allison inside and I headed to the bedroom to change my shirt. Allison followed me, not knowing her way around my house. I took off my reflective shirt and eyed my old airsoft vest in the corner. I was obsessed with airsoft as a kid. I had all the plates and everything. It could protect me slightly if the wendigo turned on us. I decided to brush the idea off and turned around to head to the dresser where I saw Allison staring at me biting her lip. I made eye contact and she immediately started blushing.
​
Allison: “Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to…”
​
I began blushing profusely as well. “It’s all good,” I stammered with a slight chuckle. You can hang out in the living room. I’ll be done in a second.” Allison stumbled her way out of my room down the hall. I found my t-shirt and put it on. I headed over to my gun rack in the corner. I unlocked my gun cabinet and grabbed my 12 gauge Remington shotgun and 9MM Glock. I checked the clip, making sure it was fully loaded. I put on my belt holster and loaded the slots with 3 extra mags. I opened a box of steel slug-shot rounds and stuffed 10 shells into my side pockets of my cargo pants. I put on my plated vest and threw a hoodie over top of it. I exited the bedroom and walked out to the kitchen where I saw Allison on her phone sitting at the dining table, rapidly texting something.
​
Allison: “Ok, so my brother is bringing the trailer here right now. He’ll be here in about 15 minutes”
​
“Perfect,” I stated as I cocked the shotgun and handed it to her. “You ever shot one of these?”
​
Allison: “My dad took me hunting all the time. I’d say I’m the best shot in the state!” Allison chuckled to herself.
​
“Looks like we’re covered then,” I added heading to the fridge grabbing two bottles of beer. I handed her one and she began drinking it rapidly.
​
Allison: “So Mr.Hotshot, where are we gonna drop him off?” Allison said through drinks.
​
Me: “My plan is to take him to the old abandoned farmland about 30 miles west of here. There's not a town for a 40 mile radius so there’s no possible way the thing can hurt anyone. At least not for a while.”
​
Allison: “What if he follows us?”
​
I took another drink. “Then we stop him. There’s gotta be some way to kill him.”
​
Just then, I heard the sound of a diesel truck pulling into a driveway. I looked out the front window to see Allison’s brother pulling in with the enclosed trailer. Me and Allison headed outside to help her brother unload it. I opened the garage door and pulled my Duramax outside and backed up to the trailer. Allison helped me hook it up. I thanked Allison’s brother for letting me borrow the trailer and he sped out of the driveway. By this time it was about 9PM. The mine didn't close for another two hours. Allison and I headed back in and sat down on the couch. I opened my phone and called Tyler, explaining to him my game plan.
​
Tyler [phone distorsion]: “Yeah that's fine. Just check in with Pete when you get there. And be careful since your taking your personal truck down there. Hate to see that thing get scratched”.
​
I chuckled to myself. That was the least of my fears. I hung up the phone and gave a thumbs up to Allison who was sitting next to me. She looked at me with a smile.
​
Allison: “Renaes, I should’ve told you this sooner,” Allison began, blushing profusely. “But if we end up surviving tonight, I’d really like to get to know you more,” she stated with a smile.
​
I felt a smile creep across my face.
​
Me: “Uh yeah, I’d absolutely love that. I think we could become closer than just cow-workers” I stammered.
​
Allison: “You know what? I’d love that.” I put on a quick movie for us to watch as we waited for the clock to hit 11PM.
​
We finished the movie and I put my boots back on. Allison followed me out of the house, shotgun in hand. We stepped into the cool night, crickets chirping away in a symphony. I started my pickup and the engine roared to life. Allison hopped in the passenger seat. I put the truck into drive and rolled out of the driveway, heading onto the gravel road. As we drove, Allison told me more about her. How she ended up working at the mine, and her current situation. The engine hummed, and I started slowing as we neared the mine parking lot entrance.
​
I pulled up to the security gate, where the night guard Pete met us both. I made sure to tuck the pistol deep into the holster, not to alert Pete.
​
Pete [old voice]: “Evening fellers!” Pete greeted us with an enthusiastic tone. He was old but the man still had years of energy in him.
​
Me: “Evening Pete. You talked to Tyler?”
​
Pete: “I did! I’ll open the gate for y’all! Make sure y’all are careful down there. Rumors is that there's a ghost down there late at night!” Pete let out a slight chuckle, and me and Allison fake laughed along with him. The gate began to rise up and we rolled through. We drove slowly through the yard and made our way down to the mine entrance. I turned on my lightbar so I could see better. I pulled the pistol from my holster and set it on the center console. Allison reached around and grabbed the shotgun from under the backseat. I noticed she was breathing faster. We drove down the grade and I let out a sigh of relief. Soon, we were underground. WE began slowly driving around the mine roads. I opened the window and began listening for the distinct wendigo noise. I came to a stop and parked the truck. I grabbed the pistol from the dash and cocked it, clutching it in my hand.
​
Me: “You ready?” I asked Allison.
​
Allison: “Lets freakin do this.” she said cocking the shotgun, and smiling at me.
​
Allison and I hopped outside. I raised my gun down the long tunnel and fired a single shot. The loud pop echoed off the walls. In the gun flash, I saw a silhouette in the distance. I lowered the gun and waited. The thundering of footsteps grew louder and louder. Soon I saw those red eyes emerging from the darkness. Allison raised her shotgun, ready to fire.
​
The creature stopped and stared at her. I motioned to Allison to lower her gun. She gave me a look of doubt and I nodded with reassurance. Allison lowered the shotgun and the wenidgo began to approach.
​
“So, you kept your promise.” the wendigo growled.
​
Me: “I did. Now I will go over the rules. We’re gonna hide you behind the pallets tacked in the back. We’ll drop you off somewhere isolated.” The wendigo let out a shriek and with lightning speed, it sped over to me. I tried to raise my pistol but it was too fast. It picked me up by the throat. It ripped the pistol from my hands. Allison raised her gun and pointed it at the creature.
​
Wendigo: “You dare try and command me after we had an agreement?” it snarled. The wendigo wreaked decaying flesh and rotting corpses.
​
Allison: “Put him down now or I’ll blow a hole in your freaking skull!” Allison yelled. The wendigo turned his head and threw me into the side of a wall. It grabbed the shotgun from Allsions hand before she could get a shot off. It snapped the gun clean in half as if it was nothing but a twig. The wendigo picked Allison up by the arm and threw her to the ground. Allison stopped moving and tried to get back up but the wendigo stood on her back. I got up and raced over to her but the creature raised a hand.
​
Wendigo: “This is my proposal. You will shelter me at your dwelling. Once the others get wind of my disappearance, they will for sure come for you. This is my final offer. If you refuse, i will tear her apart limb from limb right in front of your eyes.” the wendigo snarled. I heard Allison start crying softly. I heard her whisper under her breath.
​
Allison [weakly]: “Renaes do what it wants.”
​
I clutched my leg. I had no options. I felt like a deer in headlights. I couldn’t stop this thing. I stood up all the way.
​
Me [in pain but with agitation]: “Fine. Get in the trailer.”
​
Wendigo [menacing tone but slightly energetic]: “Splendid.” The wendigo raised it's foot off of Allison’s back. She let out a coughing fit and I helped her up. I led the wendigo to the back of the trailer. The beast had to duck down to fit inside. I watched it crawl its way to the front of the trailer. Allison and I began moving pallets behind the beast. Just as I was about to close the trailer, the beast called out to me.
​
Wendigo: “I’m hungry. Find me something to eat now.” it growled.
​
Me: “Slow your god damn roll. Let’s get out of here first.”, I barked back. The wendigo let out a small roar of dissatisfaction.
​
Allison and I headed back to the truck. Allison was crying and I rubbed her back to try and comfort her. We made our way back up the grade to the entrance of the mine. I floored it up the steep grade, my truck loudly growling fighting with the newly added weight in the trailer. We made our way back up to the guard shack, where Pete was waiting for us. I slowed the truck to a stop, heart racing. Pete got up from the guard shack. Allsion and I hopped out and made our way to the trailer. I slowly opened the trailer door, and showed Pete the stack of pallets.
​
Pete: “Looks good! Alright, y’all are good to head ou-” Just then the wendigo stood up and stared at Pete. We were compromised. With lightning fast speed, the wendigo crashed through pallets and lunged at Pete picking him up by the throat. Pete tried to scream for his life as the wendigo plunged it's razer sharp claws into Pete’s stomach. Pete didn’t have a chance to make a sound. I watched as the wendigo retracted it's arm from his stomach, guts and entrails falling onto the trailer ramp. It threw Pete onto the floor and began viciously tearing him apart in the back of the trailer.
​
“No!” I screamed as I grabbed the pistol and raised it to the wendigos head. “Stop!”
​
Allison began screaming uncontrollably, racing inside the now blood soaked trailer as the beast tore Pete apart in front of our eyes. It ripped a leg off and took a chunk out of his leg. The beast turned its head to us and let out an ear piercing scream. Allison stopped in her tracks and turned to me, still frozen in fear.
​
Wendigo: “Drive. Or you are next.” it said expressionless, blood dripping from its mouth.
​
Allison and I looked at each other too shocked to speak. We both nodded and lifted the trailer door close. We both got in the truck and exited the mine, heading onto the main road. The trailer rocked and teetered as the beast devoured Pete in the back. I saw Allsion start crying. I reached over to hold her hand and she flipped the center console up and began snuggling up next to me. I began to get teary eyed. We reached my driveway and we turned in slowly.
​
Part 3 in a couple of days.
​

[dont read this part] My name is Renaes. It’s pronounced
​
[Reh-nay-es]
​
I woke up to the worlds most annoying alarm clock, screaming that annoying beep for about a minute. I decided to acknowledge it. I rolled over in bed and looked at the time; 7AM. I reached my arm out from under the covers and slapped the snooze button.
​
This was a normal routine for me every morning. Wake up hit the snooze button twice and groan out of bed. I lifted the covers up and sat hunched over in my bed. I put my hands to my face, feeling quite dead inside. I did my morning stretches and made my way upstairs. The stairs freaked as I walked up each one before my bare feet hit the dining room floor. I began to slowly make my way to the kitchen, grabbing a bowl and a spoon. I opened the fridge and grabbed some milk, pouring into the bowl almost halfway. People always make fun of me for this but I don’t really give a damn. I shut the fridge and grabbed the Lucky Charms box, filling the bowl up. I sat at the table and slowly ate my food, while scrolling through Reddit. I finished eating and put the bowl in the sink before heading back downstairs. I turned on the shower, and hopped in after undressing. The water was refreshing.I scrubbed away yesterday’s dust, I stepped out and wrapped the to around myself.
​
I don’t wanna go to work today, I groaned.
​
I made my way upstairs and changed into my work clothes. Bright reflective orange shirt, khaki carhartt work pants, and my favorite pair of cowboy work boots. I slid my cap on and grabbed my backpack, after shoving my lunchbox in it. I snatched the keys for my Silverado off the counter and headed outside.
​
The sun was still coming up and the air was cool. I hated summer. I liked the winter time. No bugs or anything that would kamikaze dice your eyeballs. To be honest, the worse the weather the happier I am! I started the engine and started Spotify on my phone. I put on my favorite playlist before pulling out of the driveway and heading down the gravel road to the highway.
​
I was so worried this morning. But I didn’t know why. I stopped at the stop sign and made a left. I headed to the gas station to talk to the cashier Megan. I always stopped by every morning. I walked in and walked past her.
​
“Good morning Reneas!” she said as i walked in.
​
“Good morning.” I said with no emotion. I grabbed the usual: a Nestle double chocolate milk and slice of fresh breakfast pizza. I pulled out my wallet as she was scanning the milk.
​
“Anything exciting happen at work yesterday?” she asked. “I found a cool rock” I said.
​
“Nice! You gotta show me them sometime” she stated with what seemed like fake amusement. I stuck my card into the chip reader. It flashed with the normal debit card options and I punched in my pin. I grabbed my stuff and headed out the door. “See ya tommorow!” She hollered as I headed out the door. “See ya!” I said back. I got in my truck and began the 10 minute drive to work.
​
I arrived in the gravel parking lot and exited my truck, making my way to the doors. An explosion of cool air conditioning hit me as I walked inside. I pulled out my company ID card and swiped it through the clock in machine. A pleasant beep chimes and ai turned to my right to enter the locker rooms. I walked over to my locker, opening it up. I grabbed my helmet, mine respirator, headlamp, and the walkie talkie off the charger. I shit the door and headed back to the break room. I set my gear on the table and plopped my backpack on the ground, pulling out the chocolate milk and slice of pizza. I began to eat as other guys started walking in doing the morning clock in procedure. Just as I finished eating, Tyler turned himself around to talk to me.
​
“Hey so yesterday I blew a hose in my excavator. I’m gonna need some hydraulic fluid. Mind getting me some?” he said.
​
“Yeah I got you,” I replied pulling out my tiny notepad, scribbling down his request. Our shift leader Mike walked in with his normal look. Sunglasses, bandana, yellow reflective shirt, and jeans.
​
“Alright y’all shut the hell up time for meeting.” he said. This was his language for ‘good morning’. He began passing out shift sheets telling people what sections needed drilled, scaled, and bolted. My name was always up top. A single word next to my name said “BIO”, meaning Bio Fuel. Nothing unusual. I was the underground fuel truck driver of the mind. I drive a 2007 Peterbilt 357 that has an extended frame with a giant fuel tank. trailing it was boxes and compartments full of supplies for other people and machines. The back side of it had hose reels for fuel, grease, hydraulic fluid, oil, and other fluids.
​
We finished up meeting and I got into my assigned pickup truck to take people to their machines. We headed out to the decline to enter the mine. It was a road on a 23% grade, heading down 250 ft. to the mine entrance through a big tunnel.
​
We drove down the tunnel. It was dark. Swallowed by blackness. The mine is about 32 miles all the way around. I dropped off James, Brett, and Lisa at their specified machines and I headed to the depot to retrieve my semi. I put the truck in park and hopped out. I grabbed my backpack and crossed the dirt path to the semi. I proceeded to complete my pre-shift, checking the tires, lights, brakes, and other important stuff requiring the truck to operate.
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I signed the sheet, and opened the door to the cab. It squeaked as I opened the door pulling myself inside. I sat down on the air ride seat, dropping 2 inches. I set my clipboard on the passenger seat and turned the key. The truck grunted and rumbled to life with a mesmerizing roar. My truck had a CAT C10 engine in it, one of my favorites. I let the air build up before pushing in the parking brake. I pushed in the clutch and grabbed the shifter for the 13 speed transmission. I threw it into 1st gear, and let off the clutch. I took a left to get onto the main road. I shifted smoothly as I drove down the road. I approached section 38 and made a right. I spotted Allison in a scaler and made my way towards her. I blew the air horn to let her know I was there. She honked back to me, signaling I was good to back up to her. I reversed into the heading and stopped about 3 feet away from him. I pulled the park brake and hopped outside.
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“What’s up idiot?” she yelled jokingly. “I don’t know. By the looks of it so far it’s your shitty heading.” I hollered back. I saw her laugh as I approached her. Allison was about a year younger than me but without a doubt I could see her beating the shit of anyone here. She’s what we call the she-redneck. Me and her kinda had a thing for each other but I never attempted to make on her. I grabbed the fuel hose and pulled it from the reel, handing it up to her.
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“So… how’s it going?” she asked.
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“Splendid.” I replied.
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“Did you hear about Jeremy?”
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“No, why?”
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“Well apparently yesterday he got so freaked out he literally drove his haul truck up top and went home!” she said. “He said he’d seen a tall monster chasing his truck!”
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I chuckled to myself a little. People around here, mainly haul truck drivers, will claim to see Native Americans standing in corners, freakish deer like creatures. One even said they saw a girl on a tricycle.
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“Jeremy’s gettin old. He’s probably losing his mind!” I said slightly laughing.
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“Yeah without a doubt!“
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I opened my mouth to speak but just as I did, we heard the sound of crunching and rumbling. It stopped and it was quiet. Just the low idle of the truck provided sound for us. Then it hit us.
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A huge gush of wind slammed us hard, followed by an insane amount of dust as it blew my over. I hit the ground on my ass and stumbled to my knees. I yelled to Allison.
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“Hey are you ok up there?!” I yelled over the dust. No response.
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“Yeah I’m fine! What the hell is happening?!” she shouted over the wind.
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“A section of the mine must’ve collapsed! We’re gonna have to EVAC!” I yelled. “Shut off the fuel valve and hand it to me!”
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She leaped overtime the hose and took it out, handing it to me. The dust was still flying everywhere. The collapse had to be very big. Allison jumped down from her scaler as I reeled in the hose.
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“Get to the cab of the truck!” I yelled to her. She nodded her head and lifted her arms to her head, trying to see through the dust.
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I managed to open the door and climbed inside slamming the door behind me. Allison was already inside, panting heavily.
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“Oh my God. Oh my god oh my god!! It’s gotta be close to us!!” she yelled panicking.
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“Hey hey hey, calm down. We’re inside the cab we’re fine right now. We gotta wait for this dust to settle then we’ll EVAC. I can already imagine Mike has called for one right now.” I grabbed my radio and called for Mike. “Hey Mike you got a copy?” I said. We waited for a response. 10 seconds… 20 seconds… then 30. Nothing. Not a peep from the radio.
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We sat for a minute in the cab as the wind and dust settled.
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“Maybe it collapsed right next to us.” Allison said, finally breaking the silence. “Imma go take a look. Wanna come?” she asked. “Sure.” I said. We both opened our doors and hopped down. We walked up to the opening of the heading and made a right. We walked about 40 feet before we saw it. The ceiling had collapsed right by us, blocking the main road. Our only exit.
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“Son of a bitch.” I mumbled.
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“What are we gonna do?” cried Allison. “That’s our only way out!”
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“I’m thinking, I’m thinking. calm down we’re alright.” I reassured her. “Let’s head back to the truck maybe we can find an old cross cut that will get us out of here.”
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I should make this clear real quickly. Cross cuts are basically roads that you follow in the mine. We walked back to the truck and I got inside as Allison went to grab her stuff in her scaler. She returned five minutes later and hopped back inside. I pushed in the parking brake and eased into first. The truck slowly made its way around the corner and I threw it into third. The engine echoed off the wall around us as we drove. Allison rolled her window down and stuck her hand out the window.
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“It got really cold all of a sudden…” she murmured.
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I rolled down my window and stuck my hand out. She was right. The temperature had definently dropped. The mine was almost always 56 degrees but now it felt like it was 40. “That’s weird.” I said. As we were driving things began to happen. My trucks engine brake would turn on , without me doing it. Lights would start to flicker.
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“What the fuck…” I said as I pressed buttons. I slowed the truck to a stop and let it idle.
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“What’s wrong with the semi?” Allison asked.
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“I’m not for sure. Maybe the dust got in the electrical system or something.”
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Allison raised her head up. “Taillights!” she said with joy. I looked out the windshield and sure enough, she was right. I grabbed the radio and called out to whoever was in front of us.
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“Hey who’s in front of me right now?” I called. No response. I pressed the talk button again. “This is Renaes in the fuel truck. I’m on…” I looked at the pillar spray painted with the number on it. “…crosscut 10. Who’s in front of me?” Still, no response came. We looked at the lights. Then they…. wait no that impossible. Did they just blink?
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“You saw that too, right? Or am I going crazy?” Allison said.
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“No I saw it too.” I replied. The lights linked again then they just simply, turned away.
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“We don’t get paid enough for this shit.” Allison snorted.
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I drove forward slowly finally reaching the spot we saw the lights. “You see anything?” I asked. Allison stuck her head out the window turning on her headlamp.
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“Nope.”
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A loud roar rang out around the area.
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“Oh my god what was that?!?” Lisa cried, frantically rolling up her window. “Something’s down here!!”
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“Chill out maybe another part collapsed.”
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It then got louder again. A huge roar that had an elk whine or something to it. I started getting antsy. “Ok that ain’t no coyote or anything.” I put the truck in reverse and began backing up. I looked up at the reverse monitor and got a giant cold rush through my body.
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A tall creature was standing right behind the truck. It had dark fur, but parts of it were missing, revealing exposed tissues, bones and organs. The head was some kind of deer skull. My mind instantly shouted at me.
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Wendigo.
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A god damn wendigo.
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I shut down. Allison looked up at the monitor and screamed. “OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT?!?!”
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“Lock your door! NOW!” I yelled. I threw the truck into first and slammed on the gas. We began tearing down the road. Well… somewhat. The truck is governed to 35 miles per hour and the beast was still on our tail. It ran on all fours, vapors pouring out of its nostrils. I made a left at a random cross cut and slammed the gas.
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“LOOK OUT!!” Allison yelled.
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I looked forward to see the beast in front of us. How the hell did it get in front of us? I put the brake pedal to the floor as we skidded to a stop.
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“BACK UP! BACK UP!!” She screamed. I began backing up as fast as I could but there was an issue. The truck died. I frantically reached down and turned the key. The truck struggled to start.
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Come on come on come on come on! Don’t fail me now! I screamed in my head. There was a loud shatter of glass and I raised my hand as glass flew everywhere. Allison screamed. A rock the size of my head laid between us.
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I looked up to see The monster charging for us. I turned the key once more and the truck started.
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“Fuck it!” I screamed and slammed the truck into first.
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The truck pounced forward and we hit the beast, throwing us up in our seats. I floored the truck as we drove.
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I was bleeding from the glass on my face and realized a piece of it was stuck in my head. “Allison pull this shit out of my head.” I said, sounding pissed. She reached over and grabbed the piece, pulling it out.
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“W-w-what is that thing?!” she cried. I’m from a heavy Native American bloodline and I began telling her the story my grandma told me many years ago.
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Just as it seemed we were safe, My door made a loud crack. I turned my head to see what it was and the second I did, the door was ripped off its hinges. The next thing I knew was that I was tumbling over in the ground, watching the truck roll forward. I rolled probably 20 feet before laying on my side. The loud jake brake kicked on and the truck began to slow down. I could barley see. I scrambled to my feet, reaching up to turn on my headlamp. I felt nothing on top of my head. My helmet must’ve came off when I was pulled from the truck. I stood up but the second I did, I felt a giant hand on my back. The wendigo had grabbed me. I was picked up and thrown like a toy that a toddler didn’t want to play with anymore. I flew through the air, head spinning. I hit the side of a wall with a thud. I heard something crack and I fell face first on the dirt. I rolled over, thinking to myself. Is this where I’m gonna die? The wendigo began to approach me. It snarled loudly and kept forward. CRACK! Allison came up to it with a roof bolt and smacked it on the head. It howled in pain as it began rubbing its snout. Roof bolts weigh almost 20 pounds. They are almost 6 feet long, so they can deal some damage. I forgot I kept them on the back of the truck. Allison dropped the bolt and came to my side, lifting me up. Damn she is strong.
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“Come on!” Allison yelled. “Get up!”
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I was pulled to my feet and began trying to run to the truck. Allison was about 5 feet in front of me, as I slowly trailed behind her. I was limping on my left foot as I ran. I must’ve screwed up my foot when I hit the wall. I made it to the cab and put my foot down on the first step.
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Thwump. I felt something in my leg. At first I thought it was something from the cab but then It burned. Bad. I looked down at my leg. There, sticking through my right leg, was the roof bolt. Allison moved over to drivers side and stared down at me before letting out a shriek. I looked up at her and blankly told her, “Get out of here. Now.”
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“No! I’m not leaving you! Come on! Please Renais!”
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“GO!” I shouted.
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She hastily began to get in the seat. “Try and find a way to the depot!” I yelled. She nodded her head as she wiped tears from her head.
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“Give me your helmet!”
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Allison swiftly took hers off and threw it to me. She began to drive away slowly.
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I turned and looked around as the headlamp through the darkness. I looked at my leg and grabbed the bolt. Slowly, I began trying to pull it out, yelling out as I pulled it through my leg inch by inch. With one final grab, I pulled it through, blood coming out of my leg. I grabbed a small roll of duct tape I carry in my pocket and began wrapping the wound. I put the tape back in my pocket and looked around, bolt in hand now.
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“Where are you at?!” I shouted. “Get out here now!”
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“Renais!” I heard Allison call out from my left. I turned immediately and began trying to find her.
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“W-where are you? Where’s the truck?!” I shouted.
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“Help me please I’m over here!” I heard her cry from behind the pillar. I limped my way over to the pillar and found the corner.
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She wasn’t there. I stopped in my tracks. “Oh shit…” I mumbled. Just then J was knocked to my face. I turned over to my side to see the wendigo staring at me. It looked over me, those red eyes staring into my soul. I got to my feet and held the bolt in my hands.
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“Alright. Let’s tango.” I grunted. I charged over to the wendigo with bolt and swing with all my might. The beast easily dodged my attack and turned to claw me. I ducked as I felt the wind of the hand as it passed over my head. I swung the bolt right into the beasts snout and it cried out. I raised the bolt over my shoulder again and began beating the monster over and over as it tried to recover. After about 4 hits to the beast it raised its hand up and grabbed the bolt mid air. It stood on its hind legs and ripped the bolt out of my hands throwing it over a berm. I wasn’t giving up easy. I charged at it full throttle and toppled over it, sending us both flying to ground. I began punching it’s chest, but I could see it had no effect on the beast. It grabbed my side and threw me almost 30 feet onto the ground. Just as I was standing up, I felt it grab my legs and it raised me in the air string at me. It then spoke. “You’re a daring one.” It said in a low menacing voice. “What compels you to think you can just take over my kingdom?”
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“I-I didn’t know it was yours.” I sputtered. “I’m just here to do my job-“
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It cut me off.
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“I will propose you a deal,” it boomed.
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The wendigo stared at me. Steam pouring from its nostrils. It spoke.
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“Release me from my prison. I wish to be outdoors where I deserve to roam. The others have kept me here.” it spoke.
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“O-others? There’s more than one of you?”
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“There are many of us here. They prefer to hide in the deeper parts of this cave. They won’t let me leave but I decide my own path now.”
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“So what do you w-want from me?” I coughed.
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“Do you have a way to get me out of here? Perhaps I could ride in one of those massive machines with boxes on them” it said.
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“Those are called haul trucks,” I remarked. “And no, because they dump rocks into a big crusher. They never go up top.”
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We stared at each other.
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“Perhaps I could hide in a small…haul truck that I see others drive.”
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My thoughts began racing. This wendigo was just a foot taller than me, so maybe he could curl up in a ball and I could cover him in a tarp. But it made no sense. How would I get him out without others noticing? Surely I didn’t want to let him out to kill others.
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“Won’t you just kill others once release in the daylight?” I spat.
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“If I’m provoked to the point, maybe. Why do you think I’m letting you live still?” it said.
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It had a point. Truly this thing was now counting on me, despite almost leaving me dead right now. I took in a deep breath.
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“I can get you out, but it won’t be for a bit. You’ve done some narly damage to me,” I winced.
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The wendigo tilted its head. “How long?” it asked, sounding annoyed.
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“I don’t know maybe a month or two? You fucked up my leg man. There’s a hole the size of a quarter in it!” I spat back. The wendigo stared.
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“I will allow this deal, but if you break this promise I will rip your spine from your back and flay your skin. I’ve seen you many times. I know where you are.” it said.
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I shuddered. “Ok. Done deal. Take me to my truck and bring back Allison now!” I said.
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The wendigo nodded, and picked me up in one hand carrying me over to the truck which was smoking. I didn’t see Allison anywhere. The wendigo set me up against the cab.
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“I will return shortly with your companion. “ it said.
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“Her name is Allison.” I told it.
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“Ok…. I will return with Allison shortly.” The wendigo turned and bolted into the mine. Minutes later it came soaring into view, Allison over its shoulder setting her down beside me.
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“I saw a small haul truck approac-“
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“Just call it a pickup dude.” I said cutting it off. It stared me down shortly then continued.
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“I saw a pickup truck approaching on my way back. I will return to hiding. Remember our deal. I’ll be watching for your return.” it said before sprinting into the darkness. Allison coughed as she continued sobbing.
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“Did it hurt you Allison?” I asked.
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“No…” she whimpered. “When I was driving it got in the way and I crashed into it….” She looked at my leg, which was covered in blood and dust. I don’t know what compelled me to do it, but I reached over and grabbed her hand softly. She looked at my eyes and we both smiled.
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“We’re gonna be ok… I’ve got a plan.” I said just as headlights came into view.
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​

To follow up with my last entry, it’s been about 3 months. I’ve been recovering from my injuries with the wendigo in the mine. Today I was finally able to head back to work. I was met with warm welcomes and greetings from my co-workers when I got in the break room that morning. I spotted Allison and she made her way over to me. She greeted me with a big hug. All the guys started whistling and making kissing noises.
“Screw off!” I yelled at everyone while smiling.
Our shift leader finally walked in with his normal greeting.
“Good morning everyone! First let's give a warm welcome to Renaes!” Tyler said.
Everyone began clapping and hollering for me. I sheepishly put my hands in the air like a proud boxer who won his first match. Tyler then started handing out shift sheets. Just like last time, my name was next to bio. My heart began sinking. The only thing I could think of was the deal I made with the wendigo. I hadn’t come up with a plan yet. On the ride down all I could think was “how am I gonna sneak a wendigo out of here?” I made my way around the mine, slightly paranoid, waiting for a wendigo to pop out of nowhere.
I dropped everyone off at their respected machines with no issues. I made my way over to the fuel depot. I parked the truck and grabbed my things and limped my way over to the now newly-furbished and repaired fuel truck. I opened the door and was met with a pleasant squeak. The mine shop team had completely repaired the truck and detailed it.
I threw my things into the cab and began performing my walk around. I walked to the back of the fuel tank and there standing in the darkness, were two glowing red eyes. My skin ran cold. I dropped my clipboard.
“You’re back…” I heard a low menacing voice whisper.
I was frozen with fear. The wendigo emerged from the shadows and approached me. The beast towered over me and I tried my best not to piss myself.
“Y-y-yeah. I’m back.” I stuttered.
Wendigo: “So have you figured out our escape?”
I began locking up.
Me: “Ummm-not really quite yet, but I’m going to figure that out-”
The wendigo raised a hand and cut me off.
“We had a deal. I gave you time to recover as requested. You will assist me in escaping tonight.”
And with that said, the wendigo turned and ran into the darkness.
I let out a sigh of relief. My mind was now racing. How would I possibly break him out, let alone tonight?
I finished my inspection and hopped in the semi. I began thinking to myself.
The mine closes late at night and I could possibly borrow a trailer and hide the wendigo inside. But there’s no way I would be able to do it alone. I started my truck and began making my way to the one person I knew would help me.
I drove through the mines doing my regular fuel runs. The engine brake echoing off the walls and transmission whining. I spotted Allison in her scaler. I tugged the airhprn signalling I was there to give her fuel. I backed up to the scaler and pulled the parking brake.
I hopped out and Allison met me. She looked nervous.
“Did it find you yet?” Allison stammered with a worried expression,
“Yeah it did. It wants me to break it out tonight,” I replied.
Allison: “But you just got back today! How can you possibly break it out? You’re not on haul truck duty.”
I began explaining the plan to her.
Me: “Your brother still has that racing trailer, right?”
Allison: “Yeah”
Me: “Ok so here’s what I'm thinking. Tonight we come back here when the mine closes. I'll bring my duramax with the racing trailer and I’ll tell Tyler I'm taking some pallets home tonight. We can load it in the trailer and bring it up with no problems. I don’t know where it wants to be released but I’m sure we could figure something out.”
ALlison: “Don't you think it's trying to trick us? What if we release it and it kills us?”
I stopped and thought of that. That thought had come across my mind.
Me: “I trust it, it would have killed you by now if that was the case.”
Allison’s expression went ice cold. I could tell she understood. I began unwinding the fuel reel and handed the nozzle to Allison as she climbed back up her scaler. I began pumping fuel into her machine. Then I heard the low elk whine. The wendigo appeared from the tunnel in front of me and Allison. It approached slowly and Allison jumped down and raced to my side. She grabbed my hand and began crying softly.
Allison: “Renaes I’m scared.” she whimpered softly.
The wendigo stopped in front us.
“Glad to see you two again.” the wendigo boomed. “Have you figured out my escape plan?”
I nodded my head slowly and began explaining the plan.
The wendigo stood expressionless as I began explaining the plan to it.
“This plan sounds very thought out. And what happens if it fails?” it chimed.
I hadn’t thought of that. Surely the mine security guard would want to search the trailer before I left.
“We’ll cross that bridge when it comes to that.” I stated. The wendigo nodded and turned. “I will see you all tonight.” it stated looking away from us. The wendigo sprinted off into the darkness and I let out a sigh of relief.
Allison released her grip and looked at me. “I’ll meet you at your place tonight,” she managed to croak.
Me: “Sounds good”
I finished the rest of my shift without any run-ins. I clocked out and began the drive home, Allison following me in her Jeep.
We pulled into my driveway and I parked my truck outside the garage. I led Allison inside and I headed to the bedroom to change my shirt. Allison followed me, not knowing her way around my house. I took off my reflective shirt and eyed my old airsoft vest in the corner. I was obsessed with airsoft as a kid. I had all the plates and everything. It could protect me slightly if the wendigo turned on us. I decided to brush the idea off and turned around to head to the dresser where I saw Allison staring at me biting her lip. I made eye contact and she immediately started blushing.
Allison: “Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to…”
I began blushing profusely as well. “It’s all good,” I stammered with a slight chuckle. You can hang out in the living room. I’ll be done in a second.” Allison stumbled her way out of my room down the hall. I found my t-shirt and put it on. I headed over to my gun rack in the corner. I unlocked my gun cabinet and grabbed my 12 gauge Remington shotgun and 9MM Glock. I checked the clip, making sure it was fully loaded. I put on my belt holster and loaded the slots with 3 extra mags. I opened a box of steel slug-shot rounds and stuffed 10 shells into my side pockets of my cargo pants. I put on my plated vest and threw a hoodie over top of it. I exited the bedroom and walked out to the kitchen where I saw Allison on her phone sitting at the dining table, rapidly texting something.
Allison: “Ok, so my brother is bringing the trailer here right now. He’ll be here in about 15 minutes”
“Perfect,” I stated as I cocked the shotgun and handed it to her. “You ever shot one of these?”
Allison: “My dad took me hunting all the time. I’d say I’m the best shot in the state!” Allison chuckled to herself.
“Looks like we’re covered then,” I added heading to the fridge grabbing two bottles of beer. I handed her one and she began drinking it rapidly.
Allison: “So Mr.Hotshot, where are we gonna drop him off?” Allison said through drinks.
Me: “My plan is to take him to the old abandoned farmland about 30 miles west of here. There's not a town for a 40 mile radius so there’s no possible way the thing can hurt anyone. At least not for a while.”
Allison: “What if he follows us?”
I took another drink. “Then we stop him. There’s gotta be some way to kill him.”
Just then, I heard the sound of a diesel truck pulling into a driveway. I looked out the front window to see Allison’s brother pulling in with the enclosed trailer. Me and Allison headed outside to help her brother unload it. I opened the garage door and pulled my Duramax outside and backed up to the trailer. Allison helped me hook it up. I thanked Allison’s brother for letting me borrow the trailer and he sped out of the driveway. By this time it was about 9PM. The mine didn't close for another two hours. Allison and I headed back in and sat down on the couch. I opened my phone and called Tyler, explaining to him my game plan.
Tyler [phone distorsion]: “Yeah that's fine. Just check in with Pete when you get there. And be careful since your taking your personal truck down there. Hate to see that thing get scratched”.
I chuckled to myself. That was the least of my fears. I hung up the phone and gave a thumbs up to Allison who was sitting next to me. She looked at me with a smile.
Allison: “Renaes, I should’ve told you this sooner,” Allison began, blushing profusely. “But if we end up surviving tonight, I’d really like to get to know you more,” she stated with a smile.
I felt a smile creep across my face.
Me: “Uh yeah, I’d absolutely love that. I think we could become closer than just cow-workers” I stammered.
Allison: “You know what? I’d love that.” I put on a quick movie for us to watch as we waited for the clock to hit 11PM.
We finished the movie and I put my boots back on. Allison followed me out of the house, shotgun in hand. We stepped into the cool night, crickets chirping away in a symphony. I started my pickup and the engine roared to life. Allison hopped in the passenger seat. I put the truck into drive and rolled out of the driveway, heading onto the gravel road. As we drove, Allison told me more about her. How she ended up working at the mine, and her current situation. The engine hummed, and I started slowing as we neared the mine parking lot entrance.
I pulled up to the security gate, where the night guard Pete met us both. I made sure to tuck the pistol deep into the holster, not to alert Pete.
Pete [old voice]: “Evening fellers!” Pete greeted us with an enthusiastic tone. He was old but the man still had years of energy in him.
Me: “Evening Pete. You talked to Tyler?”
Pete: “I did! I’ll open the gate for y’all! Make sure y’all are careful down there. Rumors is that there's a ghost down there late at night!” Pete let out a slight chuckle, and me and Allison fake laughed along with him. The gate began to rise up and we rolled through. We drove slowly through the yard and made our way down to the mine entrance. I turned on my lightbar so I could see better. I pulled the pistol from my holster and set it on the center console. Allison reached around and grabbed the shotgun from under the backseat. I noticed she was breathing faster. We drove down the grade and I let out a sigh of relief. Soon, we were underground. WE began slowly driving around the mine roads. I opened the window and began listening for the distinct wendigo noise. I came to a stop and parked the truck. I grabbed the pistol from the dash and cocked it, clutching it in my hand.
Me: “You ready?” I asked Allison.
Allison: “Lets freakin do this.” she said cocking the shotgun, and smiling at me.
Allison and I hopped outside. I raised my gun down the long tunnel and fired a single shot. The loud pop echoed off the walls. In the gun flash, I saw a silhouette in the distance. I lowered the gun and waited. The thundering of footsteps grew louder and louder. Soon I saw those red eyes emerging from the darkness. Allison raised her shotgun, ready to fire.
The creature stopped and stared at her. I motioned to Allison to lower her gun. She gave me a look of doubt and I nodded with reassurance. Allison lowered the shotgun and the wenidgo began to approach.
“So, you kept your promise.” the wendigo growled.
Me: “I did. Now I will go over the rules. We’re gonna hide you behind the pallets tacked in the back. We’ll drop you off somewhere isolated.” The wendigo let out a shriek and with lightning speed, it sped over to me. I tried to raise my pistol but it was too fast. It picked me up by the throat. It ripped the pistol from my hands. Allison raised her gun and pointed it at the creature.
Wendigo: “You dare try and command me after we had an agreement?” it snarled. The wendigo wreaked decaying flesh and rotting corpses.
Allison: “Put him down now or I’ll blow a hole in your freaking skull!” Allison yelled. The wendigo turned his head and threw me into the side of a wall. It grabbed the shotgun from Allsions hand before she could get a shot off. It snapped the gun clean in half as if it was nothing but a twig. The wendigo picked Allison up by the arm and threw her to the ground. Allison stopped moving and tried to get back up but the wendigo stood on her back. I got up and raced over to her but the creature raised a hand.
Wendigo: “This is my proposal. You will shelter me at your dwelling. Once the others get wind of my disappearance, they will for sure come for you. This is my final offer. If you refuse, i will tear her apart limb from limb right in front of your eyes.” the wendigo snarled. I heard Allison start crying softly. I heard her whisper under her breath.
Allison [weakly]: “Renaes do what it wants.”
I clutched my leg. I had no options. I felt like a deer in headlights. I couldn’t stop this thing. I stood up all the way.
Me [in pain but with agitation]: “Fine. Get in the trailer.”
Wendigo [menacing tone but slightly energetic]: “Splendid.” The wendigo raised it's foot off of Allison’s back. She let out a coughing fit and I helped her up. I led the wendigo to the back of the trailer. The beast had to duck down to fit inside. I watched it crawl its way to the front of the trailer. Allison and I began moving pallets behind the beast. Just as I was about to close the trailer, the beast called out to me.
Wendigo: “I’m hungry. Find me something to eat now.” it growled.
Me: “Slow your god damn roll. Let’s get out of here first.”, I barked back. The wendigo let out a small roar of dissatisfaction.
Allison and I headed back to the truck. Allison was crying and I rubbed her back to try and comfort her. We made our way back up the grade to the entrance of the mine. I floored it up the steep grade, my truck loudly growling fighting with the newly added weight in the trailer. We made our way back up to the guard shack, where Pete was waiting for us. I slowed the truck to a stop, heart racing. Pete got up from the guard shack. Allsion and I hopped out and made our way to the trailer. I slowly opened the trailer door, and showed Pete the stack of pallets.
Pete: “Looks good! Alright, y’all are good to head ou-” Just then the wendigo stood up and stared at Pete. We were compromised. With lightning fast speed, the wendigo crashed through pallets and lunged at Pete picking him up by the throat. Pete tried to scream for his life as the wendigo plunged it's razer sharp claws into Pete’s stomach. Pete didn’t have a chance to make a sound. I watched as the wendigo retracted it's arm from his stomach, guts and entrails falling onto the trailer ramp. It threw Pete onto the floor and began viciously tearing him apart in the back of the trailer.
“No!” I screamed as I grabbed the pistol and raised it to the wendigos head. “Stop!”
Allison began screaming uncontrollably, racing inside the now blood soaked trailer as the beast tore Pete apart in front of our eyes. It ripped a leg off and took a chunk out of his leg. The beast turned its head to us and let out an ear piercing scream. Allison stopped in her tracks and turned to me, still frozen in fear.
Wendigo: “Drive. Or you are next.” it said expressionless, blood dripping from its mouth.
Allison and I looked at each other too shocked to speak. We both nodded and lifted the trailer door close. We both got in the truck and exited the mine, heading onto the main road. The trailer rocked and teetered as the beast devoured Pete in the back. I saw Allsion start crying. I reached over to hold her hand and she flipped the center console up and began snuggling up next to me. I began to get teary eyed. We reached my driveway and we turned in slowly.
Part 3 in a couple of days.

[dont read this part] My name is Renaes. It’s pronounced
[Reh-nay-es]
I woke up to the worlds most annoying alarm clock, screaming that annoying beep for about a minute. I decided to acknowledge it. I rolled over in bed and looked at the time; 7AM. I reached my arm out from under the covers and slapped the snooze button.
This was a normal routine for me every morning. Wake up hit the snooze button twice and groan out of bed. I lifted the covers up and sat hunched over in my bed. I put my hands to my face, feeling quite dead inside. I did my morning stretches and made my way upstairs. The stairs freaked as I walked up each one before my bare feet hit the dining room floor. I began to slowly make my way to the kitchen, grabbing a bowl and a spoon. I opened the fridge and grabbed some milk, pouring into the bowl almost halfway. People always make fun of me for this but I don’t really give a damn. I shut the fridge and grabbed the Lucky Charms box, filling the bowl up. I sat at the table and slowly ate my food, while scrolling through Reddit. I finished eating and put the bowl in the sink before heading back downstairs. I turned on the shower, and hopped in after undressing. The water was refreshing.I scrubbed away yesterday’s dust, I stepped out and wrapped the to around myself.
I don’t wanna go to work today, I groaned.
I made my way upstairs and changed into my work clothes. Bright reflective orange shirt, khaki carhartt work pants, and my favorite pair of cowboy work boots. I slid my cap on and grabbed my backpack, after shoving my lunchbox in it. I snatched the keys for my Silverado off the counter and headed outside.
The sun was still coming up and the air was cool. I hated summer. I liked the winter time. No bugs or anything that would kamikaze dice your eyeballs. To be honest, the worse the weather the happier I am! I started the engine and started Spotify on my phone. I put on my favorite playlist before pulling out of the driveway and heading down the gravel road to the highway.
I was so worried this morning. But I didn’t know why. I stopped at the stop sign and made a left. I headed to the gas station to talk to the cashier Megan. I always stopped by every morning. I walked in and walked past her.
“Good morning Reneas!” she said as i walked in.
“Good morning.” I said with no emotion. I grabbed the usual: a Nestle double chocolate milk and slice of fresh breakfast pizza. I pulled out my wallet as she was scanning the milk.
“Anything exciting happen at work yesterday?” she asked. “I found a cool rock” I said.
“Nice! You gotta show me them sometime” she stated with what seemed like fake amusement. I stuck my card into the chip reader. It flashed with the normal debit card options and I punched in my pin. I grabbed my stuff and headed out the door. “See ya tommorow!” She hollered as I headed out the door. “See ya!” I said back. I got in my truck and began the 10 minute drive to work.
I arrived in the gravel parking lot and exited my truck, making my way to the doors. An explosion of cool air conditioning hit me as I walked inside. I pulled out my company ID card and swiped it through the clock in machine. A pleasant beep chimes and ai turned to my right to enter the locker rooms. I walked over to my locker, opening it up. I grabbed my helmet, mine respirator, headlamp, and the walkie talkie off the charger. I shit the door and headed back to the break room. I set my gear on the table and plopped my backpack on the ground, pulling out the chocolate milk and slice of pizza. I began to eat as other guys started walking in doing the morning clock in procedure. Just as I finished eating, Tyler turned himself around to talk to me.
“Hey so yesterday I blew a hose in my excavator. I’m gonna need some hydraulic fluid. Mind getting me some?” he said.
“Yeah I got you,” I replied pulling out my tiny notepad, scribbling down his request. Our shift leader Mike walked in with his normal look. Sunglasses, bandana, yellow reflective shirt, and jeans.
“Alright y’all shut the hell up time for meeting.” he said. This was his language for ‘good morning’. He began passing out shift sheets telling people what sections needed drilled, scaled, and bolted. My name was always up top. A single word next to my name said “BIO”, meaning Bio Fuel. Nothing unusual. I was the underground fuel truck driver of the mind. I drive a 2007 Peterbilt 357 that has an extended frame with a giant fuel tank. trailing it was boxes and compartments full of supplies for other people and machines. The back side of it had hose reels for fuel, grease, hydraulic fluid, oil, and other fluids.
We finished up meeting and I got into my assigned pickup truck to take people to their machines. We headed out to the decline to enter the mine. It was a road on a 23% grade, heading down 250 ft. to the mine entrance through a big tunnel.
We drove down the tunnel. It was dark. Swallowed by blackness. The mine is about 32 miles all the way around. I dropped off James, Brett, and Lisa at their specified machines and I headed to the depot to retrieve my semi. I put the truck in park and hopped out. I grabbed my backpack and crossed the dirt path to the semi. I proceeded to complete my pre-shift, checking the tires, lights, brakes, and other important stuff requiring the truck to operate.
I signed the sheet, and opened the door to the cab. It squeaked as I opened the door pulling myself inside. I sat down on the air ride seat, dropping 2 inches. I set my clipboard on the passenger seat and turned the key. The truck grunted and rumbled to life with a mesmerizing roar. My truck had a CAT C10 engine in it, one of my favorites. I let the air build up before pushing in the parking brake. I pushed in the clutch and grabbed the shifter for the 13 speed transmission. I threw it into 1st gear, and let off the clutch. I took a left to get onto the main road. I shifted smoothly as I drove down the road. I approached section 38 and made a right. I spotted Allison in a scaler and made my way towards her. I blew the air horn to let her know I was there. She honked back to me, signaling I was good to back up to her. I reversed into the heading and stopped about 3 feet away from him. I pulled the park brake and hopped outside.
“What’s up idiot?” she yelled jokingly. “I don’t know. By the looks of it so far it’s your shitty heading.” I hollered back. I saw her laugh as I approached her. Allison was about a year younger than me but without a doubt I could see her beating the shit of anyone here. She’s what we call the she-redneck. Me and her kinda had a thing for each other but I never attempted to make on her. I grabbed the fuel hose and pulled it from the reel, handing it up to her.
“So… how’s it going?” she asked.
“Splendid.” I replied.
“Did you hear about Jeremy?”
“No, why?”
“Well apparently yesterday he got so freaked out he literally drove his haul truck up top and went home!” she said. “He said he’d seen a tall monster chasing his truck!”
I chuckled to myself a little. People around here, mainly haul truck drivers, will claim to see Native Americans standing in corners, freakish deer like creatures. One even said they saw a girl on a tricycle.
“Jeremy’s gettin old. He’s probably losing his mind!” I said slightly laughing.
“Yeah without a doubt!“
I opened my mouth to speak but just as I did, we heard the sound of crunching and rumbling. It stopped and it was quiet. Just the low idle of the truck provided sound for us. Then it hit us.
A huge gush of wind slammed us hard, followed by an insane amount of dust as it blew my over. I hit the ground on my ass and stumbled to my knees. I yelled to Allison.
“Hey are you ok up there?!” I yelled over the dust. No response.
“Yeah I’m fine! What the hell is happening?!” she shouted over the wind.
“A section of the mine must’ve collapsed! We’re gonna have to EVAC!” I yelled. “Shut off the fuel valve and hand it to me!”
She leaped overtime the hose and took it out, handing it to me. The dust was still flying everywhere. The collapse had to be very big. Allison jumped down from her scaler as I reeled in the hose.
“Get to the cab of the truck!” I yelled to her. She nodded her head and lifted her arms to her head, trying to see through the dust.
I managed to open the door and climbed inside slamming the door behind me. Allison was already inside, panting heavily.
“Oh my God. Oh my god oh my god!! It’s gotta be close to us!!” she yelled panicking.
“Hey hey hey, calm down. We’re inside the cab we’re fine right now. We gotta wait for this dust to settle then we’ll EVAC. I can already imagine Mike has called for one right now.” I grabbed my radio and called for Mike. “Hey Mike you got a copy?” I said. We waited for a response. 10 seconds… 20 seconds… then 30. Nothing. Not a peep from the radio.
We sat for a minute in the cab as the wind and dust settled.
“Maybe it collapsed right next to us.” Allison said, finally breaking the silence. “Imma go take a look. Wanna come?” she asked. “Sure.” I said. We both opened our doors and hopped down. We walked up to the opening of the heading and made a right. We walked about 40 feet before we saw it. The ceiling had collapsed right by us, blocking the main road. Our only exit.
“Son of a bitch.” I mumbled.
“What are we gonna do?” cried Allison. “That’s our only way out!”
“I’m thinking, I’m thinking. calm down we’re alright.” I reassured her. “Let’s head back to the truck maybe we can find an old cross cut that will get us out of here.”
I should make this clear real quickly. Cross cuts are basically roads that you follow in the mine. We walked back to the truck and I got inside as Allison went to grab her stuff in her scaler. She returned five minutes later and hopped back inside. I pushed in the parking brake and eased into first. The truck slowly made its way around the corner and I threw it into third. The engine echoed off the wall around us as we drove. Allison rolled her window down and stuck her hand out the window.
“It got really cold all of a sudden…” she murmured.
I rolled down my window and stuck my hand out. She was right. The temperature had definently dropped. The mine was almost always 56 degrees but now it felt like it was 40. “That’s weird.” I said. As we were driving things began to happen. My trucks engine brake would turn on , without me doing it. Lights would start to flicker.
“What the fuck…” I said as I pressed buttons. I slowed the truck to a stop and let it idle.
“What’s wrong with the semi?” Allison asked.
“I’m not for sure. Maybe the dust got in the electrical system or something.”
Allison raised her head up. “Taillights!” she said with joy. I looked out the windshield and sure enough, she was right. I grabbed the radio and called out to whoever was in front of us.
“Hey who’s in front of me right now?” I called. No response. I pressed the talk button again. “This is Renaes in the fuel truck. I’m on…” I looked at the pillar spray painted with the number on it. “…crosscut 10. Who’s in front of me?” Still, no response came. We looked at the lights. Then they…. wait no that impossible. Did they just blink?
“You saw that too, right? Or am I going crazy?” Allison said.
“No I saw it too.” I replied. The lights linked again then they just simply, turned away.
“We don’t get paid enough for this shit.” Allison snorted.
I drove forward slowly finally reaching the spot we saw the lights. “You see anything?” I asked. Allison stuck her head out the window turning on her headlamp.
“Nope.”
A loud roar rang out around the area.
“Oh my god what was that?!?” Lisa cried, frantically rolling up her window. “Something’s down here!!”
“Chill out maybe another part collapsed.”
It then got louder again. A huge roar that had an elk whine or something to it. I started getting antsy. “Ok that ain’t no coyote or anything.” I put the truck in reverse and began backing up. I looked up at the reverse monitor and got a giant cold rush through my body.
A tall creature was standing right behind the truck. It had dark fur, but parts of it were missing, revealing exposed tissues, bones and organs. The head was some kind of deer skull. My mind instantly shouted at me.
Wendigo.
A god damn wendigo.
I shut down. Allison looked up at the monitor and screamed. “OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT?!?!”
“Lock your door! NOW!” I yelled. I threw the truck into first and slammed on the gas. We began tearing down the road. Well… somewhat. The truck is governed to 35 miles per hour and the beast was still on our tail. It ran on all fours, vapors pouring out of its nostrils. I made a left at a random cross cut and slammed the gas.
“LOOK OUT!!” Allison yelled.
I looked forward to see the beast in front of us. How the hell did it get in front of us? I put the brake pedal to the floor as we skidded to a stop.
“BACK UP! BACK UP!!” She screamed. I began backing up as fast as I could but there was an issue. The truck died. I frantically reached down and turned the key. The truck struggled to start.
Come on come on come on come on! Don’t fail me now! I screamed in my head. There was a loud shatter of glass and I raised my hand as glass flew everywhere. Allison screamed. A rock the size of my head laid between us.
I looked up to see The monster charging for us. I turned the key once more and the truck started.
“Fuck it!” I screamed and slammed the truck into first.
The truck pounced forward and we hit the beast, throwing us up in our seats. I floored the truck as we drove.
I was bleeding from the glass on my face and realized a piece of it was stuck in my head. “Allison pull this shit out of my head.” I said, sounding pissed. She reached over and grabbed the piece, pulling it out.
“W-w-what is that thing?!” she cried. I’m from a heavy Native American bloodline and I began telling her the story my grandma told me many years ago.
Just as it seemed we were safe, My door made a loud crack. I turned my head to see what it was and the second I did, the door was ripped off its hinges. The next thing I knew was that I was tumbling over in the ground, watching the truck roll forward. I rolled probably 20 feet before laying on my side. The loud jake brake kicked on and the truck began to slow down. I could barley see. I scrambled to my feet, reaching up to turn on my headlamp. I felt nothing on top of my head. My helmet must’ve came off when I was pulled from the truck. I stood up but the second I did, I felt a giant hand on my back. The wendigo had grabbed me. I was picked up and thrown like a toy that a toddler didn’t want to play with anymore. I flew through the air, head spinning. I hit the side of a wall with a thud. I heard something crack and I fell face first on the dirt. I rolled over, thinking to myself. Is this where I’m gonna die? The wendigo began to approach me. It snarled loudly and kept forward. CRACK! Allison came up to it with a roof bolt and smacked it on the head. It howled in pain as it began rubbing its snout. Roof bolts weigh almost 20 pounds. They are almost 6 feet long, so they can deal some damage. I forgot I kept them on the back of the truck. Allison dropped the bolt and came to my side, lifting me up. Damn she is strong.
“Come on!” Allison yelled. “Get up!”
I was pulled to my feet and began trying to run to the truck. Allison was about 5 feet in front of me, as I slowly trailed behind her. I was limping on my left foot as I ran. I must’ve screwed up my foot when I hit the wall. I made it to the cab and put my foot down on the first step.
Thwump. I felt something in my leg. At first I thought it was something from the cab but then It burned. Bad. I looked down at my leg. There, sticking through my right leg, was the roof bolt. Allison moved over to drivers side and stared down at me before letting out a shriek. I looked up at her and blankly told her, “Get out of here. Now.”
“No! I’m not leaving you! Come on! Please Renais!”
“GO!” I shouted.
She hastily began to get in the seat. “Try and find a way to the depot!” I yelled. She nodded her head as she wiped tears from her head.
“Give me your helmet!”
Allison swiftly took hers off and threw it to me. She began to drive away slowly.
I turned and looked around as the headlamp through the darkness. I looked at my leg and grabbed the bolt. Slowly, I began trying to pull it out, yelling out as I pulled it through my leg inch by inch. With one final grab, I pulled it through, blood coming out of my leg. I grabbed a small roll of duct tape I carry in my pocket and began wrapping the wound. I put the tape back in my pocket and looked around, bolt in hand now.
“Where are you at?!” I shouted. “Get out here now!”
“Renais!” I heard Allison call out from my left. I turned immediately and began trying to find her.
“W-where are you? Where’s the truck?!” I shouted.
“Help me please I’m over here!” I heard her cry from behind the pillar. I limped my way over to the pillar and found the corner.
She wasn’t there. I stopped in my tracks. “Oh shit…” I mumbled. Just then J was knocked to my face. I turned over to my side to see the wendigo staring at me. It looked over me, those red eyes staring into my soul. I got to my feet and held the bolt in my hands.
“Alright. Let’s tango.” I grunted. I charged over to the wendigo with bolt and swing with all my might. The beast easily dodged my attack and turned to claw me. I ducked as I felt the wind of the hand as it passed over my head. I swung the bolt right into the beasts snout and it cried out. I raised the bolt over my shoulder again and began beating the monster over and over as it tried to recover. After about 4 hits to the beast it raised its hand up and grabbed the bolt mid air. It stood on its hind legs and ripped the bolt out of my hands throwing it over a berm. I wasn’t giving up easy. I charged at it full throttle and toppled over it, sending us both flying to ground. I began punching it’s chest, but I could see it had no effect on the beast. It grabbed my side and threw me almost 30 feet onto the ground. Just as I was standing up, I felt it grab my legs and it raised me in the air string at me. It then spoke. “You’re a daring one.” It said in a low menacing voice. “What compels you to think you can just take over my kingdom?”
“I-I didn’t know it was yours.” I sputtered. “I’m just here to do my job-“
It cut me off.
“I will propose you a deal,” it boomed.
The wendigo stared at me. Steam pouring from its nostrils. It spoke.
“Release me from my prison. I wish to be outdoors where I deserve to roam. The others have kept me here.” it spoke.
“O-others? There’s more than one of you?”
“There are many of us here. They prefer to hide in the deeper parts of this cave. They won’t let me leave but I decide my own path now.”
“So what do you w-want from me?” I coughed.
“Do you have a way to get me out of here? Perhaps I could ride in one of those massive machines with boxes on them” it said.
“Those are called haul trucks,” I remarked. “And no, because they dump rocks into a big crusher. They never go up top.”
We stared at each other.
“Perhaps I could hide in a small…haul truck that I see others drive.”
My thoughts began racing. This wendigo was just a foot taller than me, so maybe he could curl up in a ball and I could cover him in a tarp. But it made no sense. How would I get him out without others noticing? Surely I didn’t want to let him out to kill others.
“Won’t you just kill others once release in the daylight?” I spat.
“If I’m provoked to the point, maybe. Why do you think I’m letting you live still?” it said.
It had a point. Truly this thing was now counting on me, despite almost leaving me dead right now. I took in a deep breath.
“I can get you out, but it won’t be for a bit. You’ve done some narly damage to me,” I winced.
The wendigo tilted its head. “How long?” it asked, sounding annoyed.
“I don’t know maybe a month or two? You fucked up my leg man. There’s a hole the size of a quarter in it!” I spat back. The wendigo stared.
“I will allow this deal, but if you break this promise I will rip your spine from your back and flay your skin. I’ve seen you many times. I know where you are.” it said.
I shuddered. “Ok. Done deal. Take me to my truck and bring back Allison now!” I said.
The wendigo nodded, and picked me up in one hand carrying me over to the truck which was smoking. I didn’t see Allison anywhere. The wendigo set me up against the cab.
“I will return shortly with your companion. “ it said.
“Her name is Allison.” I told it.
“Ok…. I will return with Allison shortly.” The wendigo turned and bolted into the mine. Minutes later it came soaring into view, Allison over its shoulder setting her down beside me.
“I saw a small haul truck approac-“
“Just call it a pickup dude.” I said cutting it off. It stared me down shortly then continued.
“I saw a pickup truck approaching on my way back. I will return to hiding. Remember our deal. I’ll be watching for your return.” it said before sprinting into the darkness. Allison coughed as she continued sobbing.
“Did it hurt you Allison?” I asked.
“No…” she whimpered. “When I was driving it got in the way and I crashed into it….” She looked at my leg, which was covered in blood and dust. I don’t know what compelled me to do it, but I reached over and grabbed her hand softly. She looked at my eyes and we both smiled.
“We’re gonna be ok… I’ve got a plan.” I said just as headlights came into view.

Casting directors serve a vital role in the success of TV shows. Casting directors are tasked with sifting through thousands of actors in an attempt to cast the perfect person for each role, large or small. I can't think of many shows where the casting directors did a better job than Drake & Josh. Every leading and supporting actor fits their role perfectly. Drake Bell and Josh Peck's chemistry is undeniable. Jon Goldstein and Nancy Sullivan seem like a real married couple. Miranda Cosgrove perfectly portrays a sadistic little sister. There isn't a single miscast.
Even all of the reoccurring characters are cast perfectly. Allison Scagliotti was the perfect choice for Mindy Crenshaw; she expertly portrays a teenage brainiac with a hard shell and a warm heart. Yvette Nicole Brown is hilarious as Helen Dubois and who could forget Jerry Trainor as Crazy Steve? I couldn't imagine another actor as Crazy Steve.