I recently finished re-watching the show and it got me really nostalgic. I decided to have ChatGPT write an outline for a final 12 episode season to finish the main story quest. I take no credit for this and made no real tweaks or edits. Just wanted to share if anyone else may enjoy. I thought they were actually pretty cool and it helped me feel closure about the story ending and imagine some fun new episodes.
Figured I would post on here just to share if it may scratch that nostalgia itch for anyone else.
SUMMARY & OUTLINE (The TLDR Version)

Season Overview

In this thrilling season of Pirates of Dark Water, Ren and his loyal crew embark on an epic quest to recover the Thirteen Treasures of Rule and save their world, Mer, from the consuming Dark Water. The journey begins as a mysterious seer directs them to the underwater Lost City of Mourn, where they secure the first treasure amid ancient traps and Bloth's relentless pursuit. They then visit the bustling port city of Mirabeau to seek clues in its ancient library, facing traps and thieves to retrieve a crucial map. Next, the crew journeys to the Sorcerer's Isle, where they face illusions and magical traps, ultimately convincing a powerful sorcerer to aid them in their quest. As they continue, a betrayal from within forces them to execute a daring heist on Bloth’s ship to retrieve a stolen treasure.
The adventure intensifies as the crew navigates the enchanted Whispering Forest, battles monstrous creatures in an underworld realm, and teams up with Zoolie in Janda-Town to retrieve a treasure from a corrupt magistrate. They confront Bloth's gambit when Tula’s family is captured, leading to a daring rescue. On the dark and dangerous Island of Shadows, they solve ancient riddles and confront a shadow guardian. Venturing to a volcanic island, they face fiery trials and Bloth’s final attack to secure the last treasure. The harrowing journey back to Octopon involves a massive storm, a ship-to-ship battle with Bloth, rescuing Korrin, and defeating a giant Leviathan. The season culminates in an epic battle during the Siege of Octopon, where the crew defends the city against Bloth, the Dark Dweller, and their allies, ultimately activating the treasures to restore balance to Mer and seal away the Dark Water, healing the planet.

Episode Outlines

Episode 1: "The Quest Resumes"

• Synopsis: Ren and his crew set sail after a brief respite. A mysterious seer directs them to the Lost City of Mourn, where they secure the first treasure amid ancient traps and Bloth's relentless pursuit.

Episode 2: "The Enigma of Mirabeau"

• Synopsis: The crew visits the bustling port city of Mirabeau to seek clues in its ancient library. They face traps, decipher ancient texts, and fend off a group of thieves, ultimately retrieving a crucial map.

Episode 3: "The Sorcerer's Isle"

• Synopsis: The crew journeys to an island home to a powerful sorcerer guarding another treasure. They face illusions and magical traps, ultimately convincing the sorcerer to aid them in their quest.

Episode 4: "Treachery in the Night"

• Synopsis: A crew member betrays Ren, stealing a treasure for Bloth. The crew executes a daring heist on Bloth’s ship to retrieve it, reaffirming their unity and resolve.

Episode 5: "The Whispering Forest"

• Synopsis: The crew navigates the enchanted Whispering Forest to find the next treasure. They face illusions, spirit trials, and ancient guardians, gaining the treasure with the help of forest spirits.

Episode 6: "Underworld Siege"

• Synopsis: The crew descends into an underworld realm beneath the seas, facing monstrous creatures and ancient curses to secure a hidden treasure while evading Bloth's ambush.

Episode 7: "Return to Janda-Town"

• Synopsis: The crew visits Janda-Town and teams up with Zoolie to retrieve a treasure from a corrupt magistrate. They face Bloth’s ambush and narrowly escape after a fierce battle.

Episode 8: "Bloth’s Gambit"

• Synopsis: Bloth captures Tula’s family, demanding the treasures in exchange. The crew stages a daring rescue, retrieving the hostages and escaping Bloth’s trap.

Episode 9: "The Island of Shadows"

• Synopsis: The crew braves the dark and dangerous Island of Shadows to find a treasure. They confront shadow beasts and solve ancient riddles, culminating in a battle with a shadow guardian.

Episode 10: "The Heart of Fire"

• Synopsis: The crew ventures to a volcanic island to retrieve the final treasure. They navigate lava fields, overcome fiery trials, and fend off Bloth's final attack before escaping.

Episode 11: "Return to Octopon"

• Synopsis: The crew sails through a massive storm, battling Bloth’s ship in the chaos. They rescue Korrin from the Maelstrom and defeat a giant Leviathan, arriving at Octopon to prepare for the final battle.

Episode 12: "The Siege of Octopon"

• Synopsis: Bloth and the Dark Dweller launch a massive assault on Octopon. The crew defends the city, activates the treasures in a hidden chamber, and restores balance to Mer, sealing away the Dark Water and healing the planet.

EPISODE DETAILS

Episode 1: "The Quest Resumes"

Detailed Plot Synopsis

Opening Scene:

• The episode begins with a panoramic view of the ocean at dawn. The camera zooms in on the Wraith, the ship belonging to Ren and his crew, as it sails towards a distant island. The crew appears more determined than ever after their recent respite.

Setting the Stage:

• Ren stands at the bow of the ship, looking out over the water with a determined expression. Niddler perches on the rigging, while Tula and Ioz are busy with ship duties.
• Ren reflects on their journey so far and the treasures they’ve secured. He speaks of his father’s legacy and the pressing need to save Mer from the Dark Water.

The Mysterious Message:

• As the Wraith nears the island, a thick fog envelops the ship. Out of the mist, an eerie, glowing figure appears—a spectral seer. The crew reacts with a mix of awe and wariness.
• The seer introduces herself as Esclara and tells Ren that she has foreseen their quest. She holds knowledge of the next treasure’s location but warns that the journey will be perilous.

Esclara’s Vision:

• The seer reveals a vision of the Lost City of Mourn, an ancient metropolis now submerged and forgotten. She describes the treasure hidden deep within the city’s ruins, guarded by ancient traps and guardians.
• Esclara gives Ren a small, enchanted artifact—a compass that will guide them to the Lost City. She warns that the path is fraught with danger and that Bloth is not far behind.

The Crew’s Resolve:

• After Esclara vanishes, the crew gathers to discuss their next steps. Tula, with her warrior spirit, expresses readiness to face the challenges ahead. Ioz, though wary, agrees, motivated by the potential riches.
• Ren reinforces their mission’s importance, emphasizing that every treasure brings them closer to saving Mer. The crew unanimously agrees to follow the compass’s guidance.

Navigating Perilous Waters:

• As they set course for the Lost City, the Wraith enters a region of treacherous waters filled with swirling currents and submerged rocks. The crew must work together to navigate these dangers.
• Niddler scouts ahead from the air, providing warnings about obstacles. Tula and Ioz handle the sails and steering, while Ren uses the compass to guide them.

Bloth’s Pursuit:

• Meanwhile, Bloth, aboard his massive ship, the Maelstrom, learns of the crew’s new lead from a spy. He orders his men to prepare for a swift and ruthless pursuit.
• Bloth’s first mate, Konk, expresses eagerness to capture Ren and his friends. Bloth’s eyes gleam with ambition as he plots to steal the treasure and claim its power for himself.

Reaching the Lost City:

• The Wraith finally reaches the location indicated by the compass. The crew finds themselves above the sunken ruins of the Lost City of Mourn, visible through the clear waters.
• They anchor the ship and prepare to dive. Using a combination of magical artifacts and clever inventions, they equip themselves for underwater exploration.

Underwater Exploration:

• The crew dives into the depths, encountering schools of colorful fish and eerie, luminescent plants. The ruins of the Lost City loom ahead, majestic yet haunting.
• They swim through ancient archways and courtyards, avoiding traps and solving puzzles left by the city’s long-gone inhabitants. Tula’s knowledge of ancient lore proves invaluable.

Finding the Treasure:

• Deep within the city’s central temple, they find the treasure chamber. A final puzzle stands between them and the treasure, requiring teamwork and quick thinking to solve.
• As they retrieve the treasure, an ancient guardian—a massive, stone serpent—awakens. The crew must fight their way out, using their wits and skills to evade the guardian’s attacks.

Narrow Escape:

• With the treasure secured, the crew makes a desperate escape from the collapsing temple. They swim back to the Wraith just as Bloth’s ship appears on the horizon.
• A high-speed chase ensues, with the Wraith narrowly evading capture by using the treacherous waters to their advantage. Bloth, furious but undeterred, vows to capture them next time.

Closing Scene:

• Back on the Wraith, the crew examines the newly acquired treasure. It glows with a mystical light, and Ren feels a renewed sense of hope and purpose.
• The episode ends with Ren looking out over the sea, the compass in his hand pointing towards their next destination. The journey continues, with new adventures and challenges on the horizon.

End Credits:

• The closing theme plays as the camera pans out from the Wraith, sailing into the sunset, ready for whatever lies ahead.

Notable Quotes

1. Ren: "The sea may be vast, but our resolve is boundless."
2. Tula: "Legends speak of the Lost City of Mourn, where light and shadow dance in eternal silence."
3. Ioz: "Treasure or trap, we'll face it head-on. That's the pirate way."
4. Niddler: "I hope those ancient ruins have something more than just dust and danger."
5. Esclara: "The path you seek is fraught with peril, young prince. Trust in your heart, and you shall prevail."
6. Bloth: "Ren thinks he can outrun me? Foolish boy, the seas belong to Bloth!"
7. Ren: "Each treasure brings us closer to saving Mer. We cannot falter now."
8. Tula: "Ancient traps are no match for a warrior's instincts."
9. Ioz: "We’ve faced worse odds and come out richer. This is just another adventure."
10. Niddler: "I’ll keep my eyes peeled from above. No way I’m getting caught by some creepy ruins."

Episode 2: "The Enigma of Mirabeau"

Detailed Plot Synopsis

Opening Scene:

• The episode opens with the Wraith sailing towards the bustling port city of Mirabeau, known for its rich history, vibrant markets, and an ancient library rumored to contain secrets about the Treasures of Rule.
• Ren stands at the helm, explaining to the crew that they need to find the next clue in Mirabeau’s renowned library. Tula, Ioz, and Niddler prepare to dock, eager for a new urban adventure.

Setting the Stage:

• As the crew disembarks, they are greeted by the lively sights and sounds of Mirabeau. They split up to gather information and explore the city. Ren and Tula head towards the library, while Ioz and Niddler explore the markets for supplies and potential allies.
• The city is filled with intriguing characters, including street performers, merchants, and scholars. The crew must navigate the complexities of city life while searching for their next lead.

The Ancient Library:

• Ren and Tula arrive at the grand library, a sprawling building filled with ancient tomes and scrolls. They are greeted by the librarian, an enigmatic figure named Elara, who is skeptical of their intentions but intrigued by their quest.
• Elara agrees to help them search for information about the treasures but warns that the library is filled with traps and secrets designed to protect its knowledge.

First Challenge - The Library’s Secrets:

• Ren and Tula must solve a series of puzzles and decipher ancient texts to unlock the hidden sections of the library. They navigate through secret passages, avoiding traps and deciphering cryptic symbols.
• With Elara’s guidance, they discover a hidden chamber that contains a map and an ancient artifact pointing to the next treasure's location. However, they are interrupted by a group of thieves led by a rogue named Kael.

The Thieves’ Ambush:

• Kael and his band of thieves attempt to steal the map and artifact. A fierce battle ensues within the confines of the library. Tula’s combat skills and Ren’s quick thinking help them fend off the attackers.
• Elara reveals herself to be a capable fighter, assisting them in driving away the thieves. However, Kael manages to escape with a crucial piece of the map, setting up a chase through the city.

Chase Through Mirabeau:

• Ren, Tula, and Elara pursue Kael through the winding streets and rooftops of Mirabeau. The chase is filled with narrow escapes and daring maneuvers as they navigate the city’s labyrinthine layout.
• Ioz and Niddler, having sensed the commotion, join the chase, using their strength and aerial advantage to corner Kael. A final confrontation ensues in a busy market square, drawing the attention of the city’s inhabitants.

Retrieving the Map:

• The crew manages to defeat Kael and retrieve the stolen piece of the map. Kael, realizing he is outmatched, reveals that he was hired by a mysterious benefactor who wanted to thwart their quest.
• Elara thanks the crew for their bravery and offers to join them, bringing her knowledge and skills to their mission. The crew welcomes her aboard the Wraith as they prepare to leave Mirabeau.

Bloth’s Presence:

• As they make their way back to the Wraith, they notice Bloth’s spies watching them from the shadows. Ren realizes that their journey is becoming increasingly perilous and that Bloth is always one step behind.
• The episode ends with the crew sailing away from Mirabeau, the city fading into the distance as they set course for the next treasure, their resolve stronger than ever.

Closing Scene:

• The camera pans out to show the Wraith cutting through the waves, with the crew discussing their next steps and Elara sharing her insights about the treasures and the challenges ahead.

End Credits:

• The closing theme plays as the camera captures the Wraith sailing into the horizon, setting the stage for the next adventure.

Notable Quotes:

1. Ren: "Mirabeau holds secrets that could guide us to our next treasure."
2. Tula: "A city of knowledge and mystery. Let’s uncover its secrets."
3. Ioz: "Markets and mazes—my kind of place."
4. Niddler: "I’ll keep an eye from above. No one will sneak up on us."
5. Elara: "The library is a labyrinth of knowledge and danger. Tread carefully."
6. Ren: "Every puzzle we solve brings us closer to our goal."
7. Tula: "We fight not just for the treasures, but for the future of Mer."
8. Kael: "You’re in over your heads. This map belongs to my employer now."
9. Ioz: "Think you can outrun us? Think again."
10. Elara: "Knowledge is power, and together, we will restore balance to Mer."

Episode 3: "The Sorcerer’s Isle"

Detailed Plot Synopsis

Opening Scene:

• The episode opens with a wide shot of the Wraith sailing through a stormy sea. Thunder and lightning create a dramatic backdrop as the crew battles the elements to stay on course.
• Inside the ship’s cabin, Ren examines the treasure they retrieved from the Lost City of Mourn. As he handles it, the treasure emits a faint glow, and an image of an island appears, surrounded by swirling mists.

Setting the Course:

• Ren shares the vision with Tula, Ioz, and Niddler, explaining that it points to their next destination: the Sorcerer’s Isle. Tula recalls legends of the island being home to a powerful and enigmatic sorcerer.
• Despite the storm, the crew resolves to continue their journey. Ioz navigates the ship using his extensive knowledge of the sea, while Tula and Ren work together to interpret the clues from the treasure.

Arrival at Sorcerer’s Isle:

• As the storm subsides, the Wraith approaches the island, shrouded in a thick, magical mist. Strange, ethereal lights flicker in the distance, creating an eerie atmosphere.
• The crew docks the ship and ventures onto the island. They find themselves in a dense, enchanted forest where the trees seem to whisper and the ground glows faintly underfoot.

First Encounter - The Enchanted Forest:

• The forest presents its first challenge. The paths shift and change, disorienting the crew. They encounter illusions and phantoms, forcing them to rely on their wits and each other to navigate.
• Tula uses her connection to nature to sense the true path, while Ren’s leadership keeps the crew focused. Niddler scouts from above, warning them of potential dangers.

Reaching the Sorcerer’s Lair:

• The crew emerges from the forest to find a towering, ancient tower at the center of the island. The tower, covered in arcane runes and glowing symbols, is the sorcerer’s lair.
• As they approach, they are met by the sorcerer’s magical defenses—animated statues, elemental guardians, and shifting walls. The crew must fight their way through these obstacles, using both strength and strategy.

Meeting the Sorcerer:

• Inside the tower, they finally encounter the sorcerer, a tall, imposing figure with piercing eyes and flowing robes. He introduces himself as Elandor, a guardian of ancient knowledge and power.
• Elandor is not immediately hostile. He is intrigued by Ren’s quest and the treasures they have gathered. He offers to help, but only if they can prove their worthiness.

The Sorcerer’s Test:

• Elandor sets a series of challenges to test their resolve and abilities. These challenges include:
  • A Puzzle of Light and Shadow: The crew must manipulate mirrors and crystals to unlock a hidden door.
  • A Trial of Combat: They face off against enchanted warriors in a simulated battle, requiring precise teamwork and coordination.
  • A Test of Knowledge: Ren must answer riddles and questions about Mer’s history and the ancient lore of the treasures.

Gaining the Sorcerer’s Trust:

• The crew successfully completes the challenges, demonstrating their courage, intelligence, and unity. Elandor, impressed by their efforts, agrees to aid them.
• He reveals the location of the next treasure, hidden in the depths of a volcanic island. He also provides them with a powerful artifact—a staff that can control the elements, which will help them in their quest.

Bloth’s Pursuit:

• As the crew prepares to leave the island, Bloth’s ship, the Maelstrom, looms on the horizon. Bloth, having tracked them through the storm, launches an attack.
• A fierce battle ensues. Using the staff’s power, Ren and his crew fend off Bloth’s forces, creating a storm to cover their escape. Bloth, enraged, vows to capture them at any cost.

Closing Scene:

• Back on the Wraith, the crew reflects on their encounter with Elandor and the new challenges that lie ahead. Ren, holding the staff, feels a renewed sense of determination.
• The episode ends with the Wraith sailing towards the volcanic island, the next treasure awaiting them. The camera pans out to show the island in the distance, smoke rising from its peak, hinting at the dangers within.

End Credits:

• The closing theme plays as the camera captures the Wraith cutting through the waves, the horizon filled with promise and peril, setting the stage for the next adventure.

Notable Quotes:

1. Ren: "The storm is fierce, but our will is stronger. Onward to the Sorcerer’s Isle!"
2. Tula: "Legends are born from places like this. Let’s write our own."
3. Ioz: "Magical mist or not, nothing will stop us from finding that treasure."
4. Niddler: "This place gives me the creeps. And I’ve seen some creepy places!"
5. Elandor: "You seek the treasures, but are you worthy of their power?"
6. Ren: "We’ve come too far to turn back now. Show us your trials, sorcerer."
7. Tula: "Illusions are just shadows. The light of truth will guide us."
8. Ioz: "A test of strength? Finally, something I can handle."
9. Elandor: "Knowledge is the greatest power of all. Answer wisely, young prince."
10. Bloth: "Ren can hide in mists and shadows, but I’ll drag him into the light."

Episode 4: "Treachery in the Night"

Detailed Plot Synopsis

Opening Scene:

• The episode begins with a serene night on the Wraith. The crew is anchored near a peaceful island, enjoying a rare moment of rest. The moonlight casts a gentle glow on the water, creating a calm and peaceful atmosphere.

Setting the Stage:

• Ren sits on the deck, reflecting on their recent success at the Sorcerer’s Isle. Tula joins him, discussing their next steps and the importance of staying vigilant. Ioz and Niddler are nearby, engaged in light-hearted banter.
• The tranquility is shattered when a sudden, eerie silence falls over the ship. The crew feels an unsettling presence, as if they are being watched.

The Betrayal Unfolds:

• Suddenly, alarms ring out as one of the treasures is discovered missing. The crew scrambles, realizing that they have been betrayed. They find evidence pointing to a crew member who has been acting suspiciously.
• The traitor is revealed to be Korrin, a sailor who had joined the crew recently. Korrin, under Bloth’s orders, had infiltrated the Wraith to steal the treasures. He is caught red-handed, trying to escape with one of the treasures.

Confrontation with the Traitor:

• Ren and Tula confront Korrin, demanding to know why he betrayed them. Korrin reveals that Bloth promised him wealth and power beyond imagination. He shows no remorse, believing he made the right choice.
• Ioz is furious and wants to punish Korrin immediately, but Ren insists on using him to their advantage. Ren devises a plan to use Korrin’s knowledge to retrieve the stolen treasure from Bloth.

Planning the Heist:

• The crew gathers to plan a daring heist to retrieve the stolen treasure from Bloth’s ship, the Maelstrom. They decide to use the element of surprise and Korrin’s insider knowledge to infiltrate the Maelstrom.
• Tula and Ren work together to outline the strategy, while Ioz prepares the necessary equipment for the mission. Niddler is tasked with scouting the Maelstrom from above to gather intel on its defenses.

The Infiltration Begins:

• Under the cover of darkness, the crew sets off in a small, stealthy boat towards the Maelstrom. They navigate through treacherous waters, avoiding detection by Bloth’s sentries.
• Using Korrin’s guidance, they find a hidden entrance to the Maelstrom’s lower decks. They slip aboard, moving silently through the ship’s corridors.

Navigating the Maelstrom:

• The crew encounters several obstacles, including guards and traps set by Bloth. Tula’s combat skills and Ren’s quick thinking help them overcome these challenges.
• They overhear Bloth and Konk discussing their plans, revealing that Bloth is planning to use the stolen treasure to set a trap for Ren’s crew. This increases their urgency to retrieve the treasure quickly.

Retrieving the Treasure:

• The crew reaches the treasure chamber, where the stolen treasure is heavily guarded. A fierce battle ensues as they fight off Bloth’s henchmen. Tula and Ioz display remarkable teamwork, taking down multiple enemies with precision.
• Ren and Niddler manage to retrieve the treasure amidst the chaos. Korrin, seeing the bravery and determination of Ren’s crew, begins to doubt his allegiance to Bloth.

Escape and Chase:

• With the treasure in hand, the crew makes a hasty retreat. They are pursued by Bloth’s forces, leading to a high-stakes chase through the ship’s corridors and onto the deck.
• Using their agility and resourcefulness, the crew manages to outmaneuver their pursuers. They reach their boat and set off back to the Wraith, narrowly escaping Bloth’s grasp.

Korrin’s Redemption:

• Back on the Wraith, Korrin, feeling remorseful, apologizes for his betrayal. He explains that he was desperate and believed Bloth’s promises, but now sees the true courage and loyalty of Ren’s crew.
• Ren offers Korrin a chance at redemption, allowing him to stay with the crew and prove his loyalty. The crew is initially wary, but agrees to give him another chance.

Bloth’s Fury:

• On the Maelstrom, Bloth is furious at the loss of the treasure and the failure of his plan. He vows to capture Ren and his crew, intensifying his pursuit. Konk suggests a new strategy to outmaneuver the Wraith.

Closing Scene:

• The episode ends with the Wraith sailing away from the Maelstrom, the crew regrouping and preparing for the next leg of their journey. Ren holds the retrieved treasure, feeling a mix of relief and determination.
• The camera pans out, showing the vast ocean and the distant silhouette of the Maelstrom, hinting at the ongoing threat posed by Bloth.

End Credits:

• The closing theme plays as the camera captures the Wraith cutting through the waves under the moonlit sky, setting the stage for the next adventure.

1. Ren: "Trust is our greatest strength. Betrayal our greatest weakness."
2. Tula: "A traitor’s mark is indelible. They will face justice."
3. Ioz: "Stealing from a pirate? They must have a death wish."
4. Niddler: "I knew there was something off about that one!"
5. Bloth: "Even in the dark, my reach is long. Ren cannot escape me."
6. Ren: "We’ll get our treasure back. And they’ll pay for their treachery."
7. Tula: "In shadows and silence, we will strike."
8. Ioz: "Pirate code: never let a thief go unpunished."
9. Niddler: "Let’s make them regret the night they crossed us."
10. Ren: "For every treasure lost, we will gain two. Onward!"

Episode 5: "The Whispering Forest"

Detailed Plot Synopsis

Opening Scene:

• The episode opens with the Wraith sailing through calm waters towards a dense, mysterious forest visible on the horizon. The forest is shrouded in a thick mist, with towering trees that seem to whisper in the wind.
• Ren stands at the helm, guiding the ship towards the forest. Tula and Ioz discuss the legends they’ve heard about the Whispering Forest, a place filled with ancient magic and hidden dangers.

Setting the Stage:

• The crew docks the Wraith at the edge of the forest. They prepare for their journey, packing supplies and discussing the challenges ahead. Korrin, now trying to prove his loyalty, volunteers to help.
• Ren uses the enchanted compass to find the direction they need to take. The compass points deep into the heart of the forest, where the next treasure is hidden.

Entering the Whispering Forest:

• The crew steps into the forest, immediately feeling the change in atmosphere. The air is thick with magic, and the trees seem to whisper secrets and warnings. Strange, glowing plants and ethereal lights add to the forest’s otherworldly feel.
• As they venture deeper, they encounter illusions and phantoms that test their resolve. Tula uses her connection to nature to sense the true path, while Ren leads with determination.

First Challenge - The Illusory Path:

• The forest presents its first challenge: a maze of shifting paths and deceptive trails. The crew must use their wits and teamwork to navigate through the illusions.
• Tula taps into her warrior instincts to detect the subtle differences between real and illusory paths. Ioz uses his strength to clear obstacles, while Ren relies on the compass and his leadership to guide them.

The Forest Spirits:

• The crew reaches a clearing where they are confronted by ethereal forest spirits. The spirits, guardians of the forest, challenge the crew’s intentions and test their hearts.
• Ren speaks earnestly about their quest to save Mer, convincing the spirits of their noble cause. The spirits agree to help, providing guidance and revealing the location of the treasure.

The Sacred Grove:

• Guided by the spirits, the crew arrives at the Sacred Grove, a serene and magical area deep within the forest. The treasure is hidden within an ancient tree, protected by powerful enchantments.
• To access the treasure, the crew must perform a ritual that involves aligning magical runes and invoking the forest’s ancient magic. Ren, Tula, and Ioz work together, combining their skills and knowledge.

Second Challenge - The Guardian of the Grove:

• As they perform the ritual, the Guardian of the Grove, a majestic and powerful entity, awakens. The guardian tests the crew’s worthiness, requiring them to prove their courage and unity.
• The crew faces a series of trials, including combat with summoned creatures and solving intricate puzzles. Korrin steps up, showing bravery and earning the crew’s trust.

Gaining the Treasure:

• Successfully completing the trials, the crew earns the guardian’s approval. The ancient tree reveals the treasure, a beautiful and powerful artifact that glows with a magical light.
• Ren carefully takes the treasure, feeling a surge of energy and hope. The guardian blesses the crew, wishing them success in their quest to save Mer.

Bloth’s Shadow:

• Meanwhile, Bloth, having learned of the crew’s destination through his spies, sets a course for the Whispering Forest. He plans to ambush the crew as they leave the forest.
• Konk suggests a stealthy approach to catch Ren’s crew off guard. Bloth agrees, eager to finally capture them and seize the treasures.

Escape from the Forest:

• The crew begins their journey back to the Wraith, feeling a sense of accomplishment. However, the forest presents one final challenge: a rapidly growing mist that disorients them.
• Using their combined skills and the guidance of the forest spirits, the crew navigates through the mist. They reach the edge of the forest, only to find Bloth’s forces waiting.

Final Confrontation:

• A fierce battle ensues as the crew fights to reach the Wraith. Tula and Ioz engage Bloth’s henchmen in combat, while Ren uses the new treasure’s power to create a protective barrier.
• Niddler swoops in from above, distracting the enemy and helping the crew gain the upper hand. Korrin fights bravely alongside the crew, proving his loyalty once again.

Closing Scene:

• The crew manages to fend off Bloth’s forces and escape to the Wraith. As they sail away from the Whispering Forest, Ren reflects on their journey and the challenges ahead.
• The episode ends with the Wraith sailing into the sunset, the new treasure safely aboard. The camera pans out, showing Bloth’s ship in the distance, plotting their next move.

End Credits:

• The closing theme plays as the camera captures the Wraith cutting through the waves under a starry night sky, setting the stage for the next adventure.

Notable Quotes:

1. Ren: "The forest speaks in riddles. We must listen with our hearts."
2. Tula: "Nature’s secrets are hidden in plain sight. Trust your instincts."
3. Ioz: "A whispering forest? What’s next, singing rocks?"
4. Niddler: "I don’t trust trees that talk back. Let’s get this over with."
5. Forest Spirit: "Only the pure of heart can navigate our domain."
6. Ren: "We seek only to protect Mer. Guide us, and we shall respect your realm."
7. Tula: "Every step we take is a dance with nature. Let’s make it graceful."
8. Ioz: "Guardians or not, we’ll find that treasure."
9. Niddler: "Just when you think you’ve seen it all, the forest has other plans."
10. Forest Spirit: "The treasure is yours, but remember, respect the balance of nature."

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I know that the title sounds really bad, but please hear me out.
I am new on reddit, this is my first post and english is not my first language.
So this will be a long one and I´ll try to explain everything as good and short as I can.
I (42F) am married to my husband (49) for almost 12 years. We met online and soon startet dating. He did everything for me. We texted every day because we had a LDRS and saw each other on weekends (he came to me because I have no driving license and no car (and still don´t have). He has long hair, blue eyes and best of all two cats. Long story short I fell in love and he proposed to me after three month. THAT should have been the first red flag(!) but I didn´t knew any better at that time about "lovebombing". We got engaged and I moved to his city. He introduced me to his friends and everybody welcomed me very nice. My MIL at the first time we met said: "Just call me mom." and I really liked her. She was always nice and kind to me and so were his sister, his niece and my BIL.
Over a year after our engagement we got married. I was so proud to have his last name and he was happy with me (or so I thought). One of his friends, Miranda (fake name) was really good at crocheting and she had her own blog (or still has, I don´t know). We were also friends on social media at the time. Then my grandma died. I was devestated. She had dementia and was not in a good condition. She died shortly after my birthday and was buried only two days before christmas (christmas is my very favourite time of the year). At that time I was married for 2,5 years. I posted on social media about the loss of my grandma. Miranda saw the post and condolenced me. BUT....shortly after she contacted my husband and told him that she didn´t think that this was appropriate and how "dare" I do something linke that etc. My husband agreed with her. I did not understand that BECAUSE Miranda had written about one of her grandparents deaths on her blog around the same time! In their messages both of them ranted about me. At that time I didn´t know anything about that but his phone rang and rang and rang so I wanted to know who he was talking with. I demanded to tell me what was going on. He showed me the messages between him and Miranda. I was furious! They had not only be ranting about me they also made jokes about my situation.
I told him to cut all contact with Miranda or I would divorce him and that he needs to apologize to me for his really bad behavior and how dare he making fun of me and my grandmas death. So he deletetd her number. It took month for me to forgive him and to move on. Second red flag...a big one, I know (now). I should have left him right then and there.
Fast foward a few years. I had cut all contact to my family (I only have my sister now who I love so dearly) because of issues that got more and more over the years. It was better for me and my husband agreed. My sister and I have always been targets for my mother and enough was enough (worth a complete seperate post). So 4 years after my grandmas death my grandpa died. I loved him so much. We regularly called each other and whenever he went on a small vacation he sent me postcards (he knew I collect postcards). One day I got a call from my oldest brother and he told me my grandfather died at hospital (that day) after heart surgery and after a week they decided to stop the life support machines because my grandpa would have died anyway. I didn´t even knew that he was in hospital, no one had told me, or my sister. I can´t describe how I felt and I had to call my sister to tell her what just happened. We both cried on the phone. My mother decided to set the date for the funeral on my 6th wedding anniversary (it was a saturday and I guess she took that date so everybody could attend and not have to take a day off of work so I try to not hold that against her). I asked my husband after all my mother had done to me to please stand by me and comfort me. He said yes, of course. First thing he did at the funeral was to hug my mother tight and during the funeral not even bothered to take my hand or comfort me. My sister did. Third massive red flag but I did not even recognize it at first because I was so, so sad and my sister was there for me.
Fast forward to august 2022. This is getting important for later.
A warm august saturday morning around 9am. I got a call from my friend Sandra (fake name). I picked up the phone and said "hiiiiii" and laughed because I was happy to hear from her (she had two little kids and a mom that required care so I not often got the chance to talk to her and she lived in another state), but on the phone was not Sandra, it was my sister. I could barely hear her because she was crying very hard. My alarmbells went off and I asked my sister what happend? Then she told me Sandra had died that morning (she was 39yo). I was in shock! Complete SHOCK! I won´t go into details here but it was ruled natural death. As you can imagine I started crying and I thought about the kids and the widower...just, oh my god, NO that can´t be real, NO! (I could start crying right now it still hurts as if it was just today that it happened). Her funeral was a few weeks later and my husband and I took a few days off of work to attend the funeral. Everybody was there also my ex best girlfriend (we haven´t talked to each other for over a year at the time but I was the one who called her and told her about Sandra´s death...we are in contact again since then).
The funeral.
My husband decided to not sit next to me during the funeral. (yes, you read that right), and to not comfort me. Home again I asked him why he didn´t comfort me (again)? He told me that I am a grown up woman and I have to deal with it on my own and that I´m NOT his priority. As you can imagine I cried every f*cking single night. And he had the audacity to tell me "yes I heard you crying" and didn´t do anything! What a piece of s*it!
Now here comes the kicker. One day before, or one day after the funeral he exchanged numbers with another woman I didn´t know. 9 month later I caught wind of it because his phone rang very often. I asked him who this was and who he was writing with. He (stupidly) showed me the chat. He and Tessa (fake name) met during the days of the funeral and his first words in that chat were (quote): "Hi little one, finally I have your number.". I just overflow the chat and at one point I read that he complimented her on her beautiful hair. You need to know that my hair started falling out massively after I got the news of Sandras death, because of the shock and my husband knew that very well ( I went to the doctor to get checked but everything was ok so it was defenitly because of the shock). He comforted her because of some "stress" with her boyfriend at that time also.
As you can imagine I went ballistic! Not even that he told me I´m a grown up woman who needs to deal with the death of my beloved friend on my own and I´m not his priority, NO he thought it was a really good idea to give some b**ch his number and comfort HER because of some relationship issues...I mean WTF??? And I asked him why he comforted her and not ME? He answered (quote): "She had a bad time and needed help.". Yup, he really said that right into my face. Guess what happend? I slapped him HARD! I was so devastated and angry. How could he do something like that to me? I never had any suspicion of what he was capeable of, doing something like that. I always trusted him completely...what a fool I was. And again I should have left him then and there again. But I didn´t. Tessa lived a few states away so I can be sure that nothing physical ever happened between them. But it still was a betrayal. He swore to never ever give his number to another woman and to ask me if he would met some new friends if it would be ok for me if numbers would be exchanged....
Fast forward to january 2024.
In january this year he went to rehab because of some backpain issues. During that time we had not much contact because divorce is on the table since december 2023 but we wanted to work things out.
I hear you asking: "Why didn´t you leave him earlier?", "Why did you stay so long?". I married him because I love him. I gave my word to stay in good times and bad times and I don´t take that easy. I wanted to grow old with him. I could picture us sitting on the sofa watching the movies we like, laughing at old jokes and cuddle. Boy, was I wrong.
After 3 weeks of rehab he came home. We hadn´t had talked much during his rehab but we were friendly with each other. Everything seemed to be "normal". After an hour of his return he started getting angry. He said I had blocked him on whatsapp and everything. I was taking aback. What? We just texted the day before, what is happening here? I asked him straight if he had exchanged number with some women again. He said (quote): "No, just with to men." (that were in his rehab group).
His phone (again) started to ring very often and you know what is coming next, of course I got suspicious. He told me it was "ebay"....(haha...do you really think I´m THAT stupid?!). So I waited and one day he took out the trash. I got his phone and went through his WA messages. And there it was. A chat with Sindy (fake name) in wich he told her that he is asking me about my feelings and that HE is the one making all compromises and so on and so on. I said nothing. A few days later in the afternoon his phone again rang all the time. But this time I told him I know it´s not ebay. I told him to sho me his phone. And there, another woman talking with him about "a$$ massages". We had really big fights about all of that and I cried like I never cried before. He did not even bother to apologize. He said they were "just friends" (classic right). I may have been naive, but I´m not stupid. One week later he let me go through his phone again (I asked) and you will not believe whom he was texting with. I found one name I didn´t recognize and looked into the chat. I scrolled...and scolled up...and up... You remember the name Miranda? Yes! On top of that chat I saw her name! One year after my grandma died she had contacted him again. He did not block her so she had the opportunity to contact him. For all these years he met her, texted her, ranted about me with her and LIED to me. For 8 whole years! All in all I found 7 different women whom he was texting with and lying about me (he told all of them that I was "the bad guy" i this marriage). 4 years ago we moved into the flat we´re now living in. Now I know why he wanted THIS flat in this area. Miranda is living just 2 Blocks away. Great!
My trust in him is completely shattert. So much more things have happend over the years with him an I can only guess that he has a nacissistic personality disorder (would also be a complete new post to explain that here).
I trusted him, I (still) love him, I tried my best and we all can agree that it´s sure I´ve made mistakes too (everybody does and I´m no excaption). There is no way to get him to act as a husband, to behave with respect, to accept boundaries and respect them. Not to cross the lines, to make compromises and what really hurts is him badmouthing me in front of women I don´t even know. Ruuning his smearcampaign against me (because he got cought he is now telling everybody that I AM the one who did what HE did). There is no way in hell I could ever betray someone like that ever. One thing he also said is that I wasen´t there for him when his mother passed. I had the flu with fever and everything but I still attended my MIL´s funeral. He earns the money and is aware of the fact that I depend on him financially. I try to save money to get out of here. He is a pathological liar. He lies about everything and to everybody. I am so fed up with this.
Now he is diagnosed with cancer. Some of my friends say it´s the karma he is getting for what he has done to me. So here is my question: Would I be the AHole if I leave him even though he has cancer and maybe would need help to recover (it´s a relatively "simple" surgery the cancer will be easy to remove and he won´t need chemo or something like that)?
I cry almost every day. That is not me. I am a person who will always help and be there for the one(s) I love. He let me cry all alone when my girlfriend died, and I confess I let him cry alone when he got his diagnosis and I told him why i want him to not dare crying i front of me. I gave him the taste of his own medicine and I also confess I don´t regret it. I know that I am not that kind of person. That is not who I want to be any further.
I´m ready for your jugdement.
Thanks for reading and for the ones among you who are dealing with similar situations please stay strong. There are people who are loving you.
EDIT:
Why did I not leave earlier? Because only at the last 1,5 years bad things added up drasticly. And only 6 month ago I started realize that he has a pattern of his behaviors. I started looking deeper into questions I had and asked in different groups to maybe tell me with what I am dealing here. It took me long to realize what he was doing, how he was doing it and in what situations he did this, or that.
My sister now saw what person he is too. Before I was isolated by him, no one believed me. Now my sister is fighting for me like a lioness and I also told some friends about my situation. I´m searching for help and I get help. Next week I will seek help from our social system and contact my lawer to get the documents from him for spousal support. I know that I have nothing when I leave (I mean nothing, no bed, no fridge, no nothing) but I would rather have nothing then staying in this marriage with a manchild who does nothing but complain about MY behaviour and treating me like shit. The reason why I asked my question is still because of "in good times and bad times". But I see it only counts for "his bad times".

IN an article, in the Tatwa Bodhini Patrika “The Essential Religion,” Babu Rajnarain Bose, the well known Brahmo, prefacing it with a quotation from Ramohun Roy’s Trust Deed of the Adi Brahmo Somaj, “which is an injunction, with regard to Strengthening the bonds of union between men of all religious persuasions, and creeds”—makes the following wise remarks.

We should regulate our conduct by keeping a constant eye upon the essentials of religion. We are apt to lose sight of them in the mists of sectarian prejudice, partiality and passion. We are apt to forget them in the heat of religious discussion, in the distraction of philosophical speculation, in the excitement of religious delight and in the engrossment of ceremonial observances. . . . We are so bent upon thrusting our own particular opinions on non-essential points of religion on others that we consider them to be essentially necessary for salvation. We are apt to forget that we ourselves are not infallible, that our own opinions on all subjects of human interest were not exactly the same twenty years ago as they are now, nor will they be exactly the same twenty years afterwards as they are now. We are apt to forget that all the members of our own sect or party, if they frankly reveal their whole minds, do not hold exactly the same opinions on all subjects concerning religion as we do. We are apt to forget that the religious opinions of man are subject to progress and they will not be the same a century afterwards as they are now. We, Theists, have as much right to say that men of other religions, less advanced in religious knowledge than we are, will not be saved, as Theists who will live centuries hence will have of saying that we, the present Theists, will not have been saved on account of our errors. Fallible man cannot with good grace be a dogmatist. We should be more mindful of performing our religious and moral duties and drawing men’s attention to those duties than dogmatically thrusting our particular opinions on particular points of religious doctrine upon others.
Learned dissertations on theology and controversies on the subject of religion are useful in their own way, but true religion before the Lord does not consist in them. It consists in a man’s “Visiting the fatherless and the widow in their affliction and keeping himself unspotted from the world,” that is, from vice.
. . . Some people consider processions, festivals and religious music as the be-all and end-all of religion. They are no doubt useful in their own way, but they are not the be-all and end-all of religion. Life is the be-all and end-all of religion. . . .
We should not only regulate our own conduct by an eye to the essentials of religion, but, while propagating the religion we profess, we should draw men’s attention more to love of God and love of man than doctrinal points. We are morally culpable before God if we lay greater stress on the husk instead of the kernel of religion.
The Essential Religion does not admit of church organization. There can be no such sect as the Essential Religionists. The Essential Religion is not the exclusive property of any particular sect or church. It is the common property of all sects and churches. The members of all sects and churches should regulate their conduct according to its dictates. . . . Besides, a number of men, banded together and calling themselves Essential Religionists, must have particular conception of the Deity and future state and follow a particular mode of worship. This particular conception and particular mode of worship would at once determine them as a sect. These particular conceptions of God and future state and modes of worship give rise to religious sects among mankind. Every individual man cannot avoid joining a sect according to his own particular convictions.
Differences of religion must always exist in the world.(1) To quote Parker. . . . “As many men so many theologies.” As it is impossible to obliterate differences of face and make all faces exactly resemble each other, so it is difficult to obliterate distinctions of religion. Differences of religion have always existed in the world and will exist as long as it lasts. It is impossible to bring over men to one and the same religion. A certain king remarked: “It is impossible to make all watches go exactly alike. How is it possible to bring over all men to my own opinion?” Various flowers would always exist in the garden of religion, each having a peculiar fragrance of its own, Theism being the most fragrant of them all. Bearing this in mind, we should tolerate all religions, though at the same time propagating the religion which we consider to be truth by means of argument and gentle persuasion. We should tolerate even such agnostical religions as Vedantism and Buddhism as they inculcate the doctrine of the existence of God, though the followers of those religions believe Him to be impersonal, the doctrine of Yoga or communion with Him to which men must be impelled by love of God, and the doctrine of love of man or morality. Some people speak of Buddhism as an atheistical religion. Even if it were true that Buddhism is a system of pure atheism, which it is not, the phrase “atheistical religion” is a contradiction in terms. There can be no religion if divorced from God. Later researches have proved that Buddhism is not without the idea of a God as was formerly supposed.(2) We should tolerate all religions. We should look upon all religions, every one of which contains greater or less truth, as God himself looks upon them, rejoicing in the truth which each contains and attributing its errors to human imperfection. . . .

———
(1) We beg to differ from this opinion of our kind friend.—Ed.
(2) We believe it’s a great mistake due to the one-sided inferences and precipitate conclusions of some Orientalists like Mr. Lillie, the author of “Buddha and Early Buddhism.” An eternal, all-pervading principle is not what is vulgarly called “God.”—ED. Theos.
These are as noble and as conciliating words as were ever pronounced among the Brahmos of India. They would be calculated to do a world of good, but for the common doom of words of wisdom to become the “voice crying in the desert.” Yet even in these kindly uttered sentences, so full of benevolence and good will to all men, we cannot help discerning (we fervently hope, that Babu Rajnarain Bose will pardon our honest sincerity) a ring of a certain sectarian, hence selfish feeling, one against which our Society is forced to fight so desperately.
“We should tolerate all religions, though at the same time, propagating the religion which we consider to be true”—we are told. It is our painful duty to analyze these words, and we begin by asking why should we? Where is the necessity for imposing our own personal views, our beliefs pro tem, if we may use the expression, upon other persons who, each and all must be allowed to possess—until the contrary is shown—as good a faculty of discrimination and judgment as we believe ourselves to be endowed with? We say belief pro tem basing the expression upon the writer’s own confession. “We are apt to forget,” he tells his readers, “that we ourselves are not infallible, that our opinions. . . were not exactly the same twenty years ago as they are now, nor will they be exactly the same twenty years hence,” and “that all the members of our own sect or party. . . . do not hold exactly the same opinions on all subjects concerning religion as we do.” Precisely. Then why not leave the mind of our brothers of other religions and creeds to pursue its own natural course instead of forcibly diverting it—however gentle the persuasion—into a groove we may ourselves abandon twenty years hence? But, we may be perhaps reminded by the esteemed writer that in penning those sentences which we have underlined, he referred but to the “non-essential points”—or sectarian dogmas, and not to what he is pleased to call the “essential” points of religion, viz.,—belief in God or theism. We answer by enquiring again, whether the latter tenet—a tenet being something which has to rest upon its own intrinsic value and undeniable evidence—whether notwithstanding, until very lately its quasi-universal acceptation,—this tenet is any better proven, or rests upon any firmer foundation than any of the existing dogmas which are admitted by none but those who accept the authority they proceed from? Are not in this case, both tenet and dogmas, the “essentials” as the “non-essentials,” simply the respective conclusions and outcome of “fallible minds”? And can it be maintained that theism itself with its present crude ideas about an intelligent personal deity a little better than a superhumanly conscious big man—will not 20 years hence have reached not only a broader and more noble aspect, but even a decided turning point which will lead humanity to a far higher ideal in consequence of the scientific truths it acquires daily and almost hourly? It is from a strictly agnostic platform that we are now arguing, basing what we say merely upon the writer’s own words. And we maintain that the major premiss of his general proposition which may be thus formulated—“a personal God is,—while dogmas may or may not be true”—being simply admitted, never proven, since the existence of God in general was, is, and ever will remain an improvable proposition, his conclusions however correctly derived from the minor or second premiss do not cover the whole ground. The syllogism is regular and the reasoning valid—only in the opinion of the theists. The atheist as the agnostic will protest, having logic as well as reason on his side. He will say: Why not accord to others that which you claim for yourselves? However weighty our arguments and gentle our persuasion, no theist would fail to feel hurt were we to try our hand in persuading him to throw away his theism and accept the religion or philosophy “which we consider to be true”—namely, “godless” Buddhism, or highly philosophical and logical agnosticism. As our esteemed contemporary puts it,—“it is impossible to obliterate differences of face and make all faces exactly resemble each other.” Has the idea ever struck him that it is as difficult to entirely obliterate innate differences of mental perceptions and faculties, let alone to reconcile by bringing them under one standard the endless varieties of human nature and thought? The latter may be forced from its natural into an artificial channel. But like a mask however securely stuck on one’s face, and which is liable to be torn off by the first strong gush of wind that blows under, the convictions thus artificially inoculated are liable at any day to resume their natural course—the new cloth put upon the old garment torn out, and—“the rent made worse.” We are with those who think that as nature has never intended the process known in horticulture as engrafting, so she has never meant that the ideas of one man should be inoculated with those of any other man, since were it so she would have—if really guided by intelligence—created all the faculties of human mind, as all plants, homogeneous, which is not the case. Hence, as no kind of plant can be induced to grow and thrive artificially upon another plant which does not belong to the same natural order, so no attempt toward engrafting our views and beliefs on individuals whose mental and intellectual capacities differ from ours as one variety or species of plants differs from another variety—will ever be successful. The missionary efforts directed for several hundred years toward christianizing the natives of India, is a good instance in hand and illustrates the inevitable failure following every such fallacious attempt. Very few among those natives upon whom the process of engrafting succeeded, have any real merit; while the tendency of the great majority is to return to its original specific type, that of a true-born pantheistic Hindu, clinging to his forefather’s caste and gods as a plant clings to its original genera. “Love of God and love of man is the essence of religion,” says Babu Rajnarain Bose elsewhere, inviting men to withdraw their attention from the husk of religion—“the non-essentials” and concentrate it upon the kernel—its essentials. We doubt whether we will ever prove our love to man by depriving him of a fundamental and essential prerogative, that of an untrammelled and entire liberty of his thoughts and conscience. Moreover in saying, as the author does further on—

Nothing has done so much mischief to the world as religious bigotry and dogmatism on non-essential points of religion; nothing has led so much to bloody wars and fiery persecutions as the same. . . .

—he turns the weapon of logic and fact against his own argument. What religion, for instance, ever claimed more than Christianity “love of God and love of man”—aye, “love of all men as our brothers”; and yet where is that creed that has ever surpassed it in blood-thirstiness and cruelty, in intolerance to the damnation of all other religions! “What crimes has it (Religion in general) not committed?” exclaims Prof. Huxley quoting from Lucretius, and “what cruelties,” he adds, referring to Christianity—“have been perpetrated in the name of Him who said ‘Love your enemies; blessed are the peacemakers,’ and so many other noble things.” Truly this religion of Love and Charity is now built upon the most gigantic holocaust of victims, the fruits of the unlawful, sinful desire to bring over all men to one mode of thinking, at any rate to one “essential” point in their religion—belief in Christ. We admit and recognize fully that it is the duty of every honest man to try to bring round by “argument and gentle persuasion” every man who errs with respect to the “essentials” of Universal ethics, and the usually recognized standard of morality. But the latter is the common property of all religions, as of all the honest men, irrespective of their beliefs. The principles of the true moral code, tried by the standard of right and justice, are recognized as fully, and followed just as much by the honest atheist as by the honest theist, religion and piety having, as can be proved by statistics, very little to do with the repression of vice and crime. A broad line has to be drawn between the external practice of one’s moral and social duties, and that of the real intrinsic virtue practised but for its own sake. Genuine morality does not rest with the profession of any particular creed or faith, least of all with belief in gods or a God; but it rather depends upon the degree of our own individual perceptions of its direct bearing upon human happiness in general, hence—upon our own personal weal. But even this is surely not all. “So long as man is taught and allowed to believe that he must be just, that the strong hand of law may not punish him, or his neighbour taking his revenge”; that he must be enduring because complaint is useless and weakness can only bring contempt; that he must be temperate, that his health may keep good and all his appetites retain their acuteness; and, he is told that, if he serves his friends, his friends may serve him, if he defends his country, he defends himself, and that by serving his God he prepares for himself an eternal life of happiness hereafter—so long, we say, as he acts on such principles, virtue is no virtue, but verily the culmination of SELFISHNESS. However sincere and ardent the faith of a theist, unless, while conforming his life to what he pleases to term divine laws, he gives precedence in his thoughts first to the benefit that accrues from such a moral course of actions to his brother, and then only thinks of himself—he will remain at best—a pious egotist; and we do claim that belief in, and fear of God in man, is chiefly based upon, develops and grows in exact proportion to his selfishness, his fear of punishment and bad results only for himself, without the least concern for his brother. We see daily that the theist, although defining morality as the conformity of human actions to divine laws, is not a tittle more moral than the average atheist or infidel who regards a moral life simply the duty of every honest right-thinking man without giving a thought to any reward for it in afterlife. The apparently discrepant fact that one who disbelieves in his survival after death should, nevertheless, frame in most cases his life in accordance with the highest rules of morality, is not as abnormal as it seems at first. The atheist, knowing of but one existence, is anxious to leave the memory of his life as unsullied as possible in the afterremembrances of his family and posterity, and in honour even with those yet unborn. In the words of the Greek Stoic—“though all our fellow-men were swept away, and not a mortal nor immortal eye were left to approve or condemn, should we not here, within our breast, have a judge to dread, and a friend to conciliate?” No more than theism is atheism congenite with man. Both grow and develope in him together with his reasoning powers, and become either fortified or weakened by reflection and deduction of evidence from facts. In short, both are entirely due to the degree of his emotional nature, and man is no more responsible for being an atheist than he is for becoming a theist. Both terms are entirely misunderstood. Many are called impious not for having a worse but a different religion, from their neighbours, says Epicurus. Mahomedans are stronger theists than the Christians, yet they are called “infidels” by the latter, and many are the theosophists regarded as atheists, not for the denying of the Deity but for thinking somewhat peculiarly concerning this ever-to-be unknown Principle. As a living contrast to the atheist, stands the theist believing in other lives or a life to come. Taught by his creed that prayer, repentance and offerings are capable of obliterating sin in the sight of the “all-forgiving, loving and merciful Father in Heaven,” he is given every hope—the strength of which grows in proportion to the sincerity of his faith—that his sins will be remitted to him. Thus, the moral obstacle between the believer and sin is very weak, if we view it from the standpoint of human nature. The more a child feels sure of his parents’ love for him, the easier he feels it to break his father’s commands. Who will dare to deny that the chief, if not the only cause of half the misery with which Christendom is afflicted—especially in Europe, the stronghold of sin and crime—lies not so much with human depravity as with its belief in the goodness and infinite mercy of “our Father in Heaven,” and especially in the vicarious atonement? Why should not men imagine that they can drink of the cup of vice with impunity—at any rate, in its results in the hereafter—when one half of the population is offered to purchase absolution for its sins for a certain paltry sum of money, and the other has but to have faith in, and place reliance upon, Christ to secure a place in paradise—though he be a murderer, starting for it right from the gallows! The public sale of indulgences for the perpetration of crime on the one hand, and the assurance made by the ministers of God that the consequences of the worst of sins may be obliterated by God at his will and pleasure, on the other, are quite sufficient, we believe, to keep crime and sin at the highest figure. He, who loves not virtue and good for their own sake and shuns not vice as vice, is sure to court the latter as a direct result of his pernicious belief. One ought to despise that virtue which prudence and fear alone direct.
We firmly believe in the actuality and the philosophical necessity of “Karma,” i.e., in that law of unavoidable retribution, the not-to-be diverted effect of every cause produced by us, reward as punishment in strict conformity with our actions; and we maintain that since no one can be made responsible for another man’s religious beliefs with whom, and with which, he is not in the least concerned—that perpetual craving for the conversion of all men we meet to our own modes of thinking and respective creeds becomes a highly reprehensible action. With the exception of those above-mentioned cases of the universally recognized code of morality, the furtherance or neglect of which has a direct bearing upon human weal or woe, we have no right to be influencing our neighbours’ opinions upon purely transcendental and unprovable questions, the speculations of our emotional nature. Not because any of these respective beliefs are in any way injurious or bad per se; on the contrary, for every ideal that serves us as a point of departure and a guiding star in the path of goodness and purity, is to be eagerly sought for, and as unswervingly followed; but precisely on account of those differences and endless variety of human temperaments, so ably pointed out to us by the respected Brahmo gentleman in the lines as above quoted. For if, as he truly points out—none of us is infallible, and that “the religious opinions of men are subject to progress” (and change, as he adds), that progress being endless and quite likely to upset on any day our strongest convictions of the day previous; and that as historically and daily proved “nothing has done so much mischief” as the great variety of conflicting creeds and sects which have led but to bloody wars and persecutions, and the slaughter of one portion of mankind by the other, it becomes an evident and an undeniable fact that, by adding converts to those sects, we add but so many antagonists to fight and tear themselves to pieces, if not now, then at no distant future. And in this case we do become responsible for their actions. Propagandism and conversion are the fruitful seeds sown for the perpetration of future crimes, the odium theologicum stirring up religious hatreds—which relate as much to the “Essentials” as to the non-essentials of any religion—being the most fruitful as the most dangerous for the peace of mankind. In Christendom, where at each street-corner starvation cries for help: where pauperism, and its direct result, vice and crime, fill the land with desolation—millions upon millions are annually spent upon this unprofitable and sinful work of proselytism. With that charming inconsistency which was ever the characteristic of the Christian churches, the same Bishops who have opposed but a few decades back the building of railways, on the ground that it was an act of rebellion against God who willed that man should not go quite as quick as the wind; and had opposed the introduction of the telegraphy, saying that it was a tempting of Providence; and even the application of anæsthetics in obstetrical cases, “under the pretence,” Prof. Draper tells us, “that it was an impious attempt to escape from the curse denounced against all women in Genesis iii, 16,” those same Bishops do not hesitate to meddle with the work of Providence when the “heathen” are concerned. Surely if Providence hath so decreed that women should be left to suffer for the sin of Eve, then it must have also willed that a man born a heathen should be left one as—pre-ordained. Are the missionaries wiser, they think, than their God, that they should try to correct his mistakes; and do they not also rebel against Providence, and its mysterious ways? But leaving aside things as dark to them as they are to us, and viewing “conversion” so called, but from its practical aspect, we say that he, who under the dubious pretext that because something is truth to him it must be truth also for everyone else, labours at the conversion of his neighbours, is simply engaged in the unholy work of breeding and raising future Cains.
Indeed, our “love of man” ought to be strong enough and sufficiently intuitional to stifle in us that spark of selfishness which is the chief motor in our desire to force upon our brother and neighbour our own religious opinions and views which we may “consider (for the time being) to be true.” It is a grand thing to have a worthy Ideal, but a still greater one to live up to it; and where is that wise and infallible man who can show without fear of being mistaken to another man what or who should be his ideal? If, as the theist assures us—“God is all in all”—then must he be in every ideal—whatever its nature, if it neither clashes with recognized morality, nor can it be shown productive of bad results. Thus, whether this Ideal be God, the pursuit of Truth, humanity collectively, or, as John Stuart Mill has so eloquently proved, simply our own country; and that in the name of that ideal man not only works for it, but becomes better himself, creating thereby an example of morality and goodness for others to follow, what matters it to his neighbour whether this ideal be a chimerical utopia, an abstraction, or even an inanimate object in the shape of an idol, or a piece of clay?
Let us not meddle with the natural bent of man’s religious or irreligious thought, any more than we should think of meddling with his private thoughts, lest by so doing we should create more mischief than benefit, and deserve thereby his curses. Were religions as harmless and as innocent as the flowers with which the author compares them, we would not have one word to say against them. Let every “gardener” attend but his own plants without forcing unasked his own variety upon those of other people, and all will remain satisfied. As popularly understood, Theism has, doubtless, its own peculiar beauty, and may well seem “the most fragrant of flowers in the garden of religions”—to the ardent theist. To the atheist, however, it may possibly appear no better than a prickly thistle; and the theist has no more right to take him to task for his opinion, than the atheist has to blame him for his horror of atheism. For all its beauty it is an ungrateful task to seek to engraft the rose upon the thistle, since in nine cases out of ten the rose will lose its fragrance, and both plants their shapes to become a monstrous hybrid. In the economy of nature everything is in its right place, has its special purpose, and the same potentiality for good as for evil in various degrees—if we will but leave it to its natural course. The most fragrant rose has often the sharpest thorns; and it is the flowers of the thistle when pounded and made up into an ointment that will cure the wounds made by her cruel thorns the best.
In our humble opinion, the only “Essentials” in the Religion of Humanity are—virtue, morality, brotherly love, and kind sympathy with every living creature, whether human or animal. This is the common platform that our Society offers to all to stand upon; the most fundamental differences between religions and sects sinking into insignificance before the mighty problem of reconciling humanity, of gathering all the various races into one family, and of bringing them all to a conviction of the utmost necessity in this world of sorrow to cultivate feelings of brotherly sympathy and tolerance, if not actually of love. Having taken for our motto—“In these Fundamentals—unity; in non-essentials—full liberty; in all things—charity,” we say to all collectively and to every one individually—“keep to your forefather’s religion, whatever it may be—if you feel attached to it, Brother; think with your own brains—if you have any; be by all means yourself—whatever you are, unless you are really a bad man. And remember above all, that a wolf in his own skin is immeasurably more honest than the same animal—under a sheep’s clothing.”
Theosophist, June, 1883

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I am not The OOP, OOP is u/OkOstrich6619
AITAH for not sympathizing with my ex wife's AP after she groomed and abused him?
Originally posted to AITAH
TRIGGER WARNING: infidelity, grooming, sexual abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse, harassment, stalking
Original Post Apr 13, 2024
Longtime lurker and I've been struggling with my decision here
Some details will be vague for reasons I hope you all have the capacity to understand why
TW: Domestic and sexual abuse
Long backstory so bear with me. My (34M) ex (33F) admittedly had a ton of red flags when we started dating. She was my serious first relationship and I wasn't always very confident or outgoing compared to her, and ill always be kicking myself for practically dancing into the arms or a narcissist.
We got married way too young at 24 and 23, and the next several years were spent with her demanding my entire life change at her whims, mood swings, gaslighting when she seemed to be carrying on emotional affairs, isolating me, arguments out of nowhere, nights sleeping on the couch, financial abuse (her family is very well off, and they foot the bill for the wedding and our house) demeaning comments and general emotional abuse. One other thing was she was always more sexually adventures and always wanted to try newer and weirder things. I'm a little open minded but sometimes had to set firm boundaries with her or shut her down when it got too uncomfortable. This is important for later.
Back then I thought by just dealing with it I was being strong and protecting our marriage. If I could go back in time I would kick my younger selfs ass. 2 years back things came to a head. It came out she had been carrying on a full fledged affair with our neighbor's son who had only been 18 for around 6 months. We knew this kid since he was 16. At that point she was freshly 31. I finally pulled my head out my ass but by that point it was too late
The coming months absolutely fucking sucked. Got kicked out (her parents left the house to soley her. I never had any impression i was going to have any claim to it so I saw that coming at least), lawyer costs financially drained me, and moved in with my parents for the time being while my ex, her AP, her family and her APs family harassed me on the daily for months.
-my ex tried every dirty trick in the book on her parents dime with the divorce (somehow by thr grace of God and my lawyer I made it out relatively fine). She send grueling insults with every insult you could think of from a cheating narcissist

• her AP painted me as a crippled old man and had his friends send insulting messages, videos of him and my ex, and whatever they could think of on the daily and only stopped when I got law enforcement involved

-my exes family never liked me, and gladly jumped at the opportunity to mock me, and the APs family, who obviously saw dollar signs regardless of the greater context, had no problems joining in to score points
This brings me to around 3 weeks ago. By then 2 years had gone by, with me back on my feat, a year of therapy under my belt, a new job, a new sense of confidence, and recently a new girlfriend. Bit of info, I never left the area, my family only lived a couple of hours away from where my ex and I lived. My job is going too well to risk getting up and leaving for parts unknown. Because I was in the same area, I got little tidbits of info regardless if I wanted to hear or not. I know the APs family moved away, he moved in with her, and the world slowly saw less and less of him.
To sum it up, I got called by his family to see him in the hospital. I dont know all the details, but basically, roughly over a month ago my exes AP went dark. Over a 5 month period, they slowly heard less and less of him, but a month back they lost contact. Why it took them this long to raise hell is beyond me, but I imagine a family that would allow their son to be groomed for money isn't great at ensuring their son is ok. Police stopped by her house for a wellness check, only for him to answer the door looking like the walking dead. The poice found him, from what they describe, practically in hell. He had been routinely beaten and sexually abused nonstop for God knows how long.
The whole investigation has opened a black hole of craziness. I've asked around for more info and got little tidbits but not much. It was found that multiple people were involved and allegedly there are videos of what they were doing to him. They found evidence of God knows how many drugs and substances were being pumped into him. My ex and whoever else was involved are facing longer and longer sentences he more they find out
His family wants me to visit him as he wants to make amends. He wants to apologize, he's broken, he's scarred for life, he's suicidal, whatever reason they can spew out to bring me to him they've said it. But why should I be dragged into this shit?
His own family allowed practically sold him, my exes family seem to actually have had no knowledge of this and are practically scraping their hands clean and throwing her to the wolves, but I have to step back into this? I get he was groomed, I get he was influenced, and I understand some truly awful stuff happened to him, but why should I come back o all this and let the people who hurt me know all is forgiven? They've been harassing me about this nonstop now and even family think I should talk to him
MINOR UPDATE: I guess posting about this gave me the kick in the ass to communicate with my family. Mainly, its my parents who are encouraging reaching out. They explained their reasoning to me, and it makes sense where they are coming from. They are simply worried that if I try and ignore them it will kick off another year long harassment campaign from them. They saw how messed up I was last time I went through this, and they simply wanted it to end quickly so I didn't go through the same shit again. I have assured them there's no way they'll be able to go through with that again and worst case scenario I'll change my number again. They understand and have stopped pushing
FINAL UPDATE: I'm gonna bow out of the situation. No dramatic confrontation. No big show to everyone. Just gonna have my lawyer draw up a statement requesting to be left alone and ill double check making sure I wont have to be involved in any proceedings in the near future. From the brief chat I had with my lawyer so far, there's no real logical reason for me to be involved unless either side was getting desperate. Regardless, I have pages of documentation from way back showing my concern towards his age as well as clearly stating I was not involved in what transpired since then. I understand many of you wanted something more dramatic, but thats just how it is. All the loose ends are wrapped up and I'm moving on
BONUS: I wont be deleting the account yet despite what I claimed earlier just in case something comes up or happens. However, do not expect court updates as that takes a very long time and I most likely won't have any involvement.
I can share a couple theories from people I have heard about what is happening. These are all bits of info passed down by mutuals of mutuals, and have been going through a game of telephone for weeks, so please assume these are either wildly exaggerated or outright BS
-APs family and ex in laws family are all prepping to stab eachother in the back as each seem to be holding onto dirt to use against the other, possibly knowledge of the affair going on before 18
-EX in retaliation for being abandoned has knowledge of, and I quote directly from the messenger, "tax stuff" regarding her parents. It isn't some big thing that would be federal, probably just some money out of their pockets down the line. Her family aren't powerful, just well off
-there is no big trafficking ring or larger scale operation going on, it was just 4 or 5 freaks who found eachother online that she gathered. This seems more plausible
-AP's father is bordering on having to be placed under suicide watch
-AP's mother apparently had reservations from the begginging, pretty much got bought off, and is now livid and considering divorce
-AP is trying to get his friends for support and they are bailing. Some of these guys were part of the original harassment campaign way back and have apparently realized the error of their ways and don't want to step back in
-One of his abusers from the group got a knock at the door by the police at home with his wife and kids and killed himself on the spot (this has also been called out as fake by another person, and there is no evidence this happened but its still in a grey area as no one knows the names of who was involved, just the number of people)
RELEVANT COMMENTS
Vast-Combination4046

Did your ex get into meth out of the blue? This seems like meth head stuff

OOP

There are theories and stories from those i dare asked. None of them pleasant. But considering what his family mentioned about him being forced into drugs I'm going to assume she was on them as well.

~
robertscoff

There could be a possibility of being a witness, if revenge on your ex is something that would make you feel ok? NTA but the kid was essentially a child when groomed so I would suggest at least let go of that hatred, even if you choose to remain uninvolved. Best wishes

OOP

I assume I have no real reason to be called upon as a witness for whatever happens, unless they somehow try to go all the way back to the beginning and get me involved which seems wild to me

This however is all speculative and also, despite how quickly Reddit stories want us all to think with this stuff, is going to take a while to go to court

Update May 5, 2024
Apologizes in advance, this update will be stupid and asinine
So as I always knew was a possibility, sending a letter from my lawyer to the AP's parents wasn't the bulletproof shield I was hoping it would be. Desperate people aren't swayed by mere legal matters. Within 2 days things started spiraling out of control, and very quickly they called me directly again
Make no mistake, I saw the writing on the wall. Somehow I'll be getting dragged into this no matter what. My parents and girlfriend were as supporting as they could be. But at some point I said screw it and arranged to talk with the APs dad. I know, I'm an idiot and a fool, but I need to actually know what's going on.
To condense what was discussed without spilling any info in regards to the investigation, everyone was turning against eachother and our for blood, and secrets were finally spilling.
The AP's Dad: he opened the floodgates. As I knew, everyone was basically aware that my Ex groomed him most likely starting at 16. If there was any physical proof such as messages, they're long gone. This kid was basically a bad seed, history of trouble without a clear direction in his future. His dad is a confusing person. He is the kind of dad that wanted to be rid of his problem child, but also was "proud" in a way of his son getting involved with the hot older woman with a well off family. He basically spilled the beans that he supported the relationship as it gave him the benefit of getting his son out of his house, and gladly took whatever my exes family offered as a token of appreciation. He was a lousy father plain and simple. As time went by, he appeared to realize the situation he out his son in, and it only got worse with...
The APs Mom: she was a stay at home mother who always was the silent submissive partner in the marriage. As it turns out, she raised hell from the beggining, but at the behest of her husband (I'm suspecting this marriage is way more abusive then he let on) he got her to drop it. He controlled her enitre life practically. She never was happy and always tried to get her son help and get him away from my ex. After what has happened the last few weeks, she has had it. She is divorcing him, letting his family know what happened, and plans on cleaning him out in the divorce. The silent submissive wife was driven too far. From what I saw of the Dad, it's hit him hard how his years of bad choices have ruined his family. He is a hollow shell of a man
My Ex and her family: they're tearing eachother apart. My ex has lost her job, reputation, her circle of freaks, and her money. Her parents, their family humiliated, their involvement taking over local gossip, and desperate to salvage the fallout they'll endure when more people find out, are in the midst of a separation and a brutal divorce is on the horizon. However, the possibility of an investigation is at risk due to...
The AP: my jaw hit the fucking floor when I heard about him. He is backpeddling hard. Over the last 2 weeks he has been retracting every claim, every accusation, every bit of evidence that could put these sick freaks in prison. I shit you not, and I wish I had the capacity to make this up, he has gotten the people who are on video sexually abusing him to verify with him that they were taking part in recording fetish porn. My brain simply cannot comprehend this. It just won't allow me. Now I'm not stupid, he is clearly psychologically broken. He was alone with them for months. He needs a psychiatrist immediately.
The reason they are so desperate for me to be involved is because it's the last desperate flails of a collapsing group of narcissists and parental failures desperately trying to talk to him, and they want me involved as they need people with history with my ex to try and actually make a case since their son is doing everything he can to not make one happen. As of now, any case against my ex is in limbo
It's just so sad. This situation is so stupid all around because it was so avoidable. All the dad had to do was be a proper guiding father to his son, help him become a proper adult. All his mom had to do was not be a pushover. All my exes parents had to do was not support an illegal relationship just to spite me. All my ex had to do was not be an awful human being
Now a kid is possibly deeply mentally broken permanently all because the guiding figures in his life didn't care. I won't lie, I still hate him so much, but he doesn't deserve this
If I ever update again, it would be a year or so down the road after all the dust has settled. This is such a stupid pointless situation
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

First Previous Wiki
Vandera sipped on a large juice box while she and Arthur were watching the news. The new couch they'd bought was very comfortable, allowing both of them to actually sit together, which was the main point of the furniture. The latest house they'd bought with the basic income after moving out of the old one was larger and better accommodated both Arthur's smaller size and Vandera's far larger one.
In the side of her vision, protected by a small personal shield, there were three eggs. Now that they had seen the posts on social media of other children hatching without issues, Vandera and Arthur had finally had a long talk. Arthur didn't exactly know how to raise Acuarfar children, so she'd bought several books for him to read on the subject.
Right now, two of them sat on the counter, mostly finished with primers on Acuarfar culture and habits. With the higher ratio of female Acuarfar to male ones, chances were that none of their two eggs would have been male. But thanks to the selection processes available with the Inter-Species Family Planning Agency, they'd been able to make it work.
But now, they'd have a perfect balance. One male, one female. More easy to manage, for sure. And there wouldn't be thirty hatchlings crawling around in a Matron's care center either. Neither Vandera nor Arthur had wanted that. They wanted to be with their children, taking care of them, cooking for them, and cleaning for them when necessary.
Potty training, as the humans called it, was something that was far less stressful for Acuarfar. Human children's minds generally developed faster than Acuarfar, but natural instincts within hatchlings meant that they could properly identify places acceptable to release waste near.
Supposedly, it was due to ancient tendencies for tree nests and hives, where the Acuarfar had to be careful not to send rivers of unpleasantness down onto tribes beneath them. She'd seen a few nature documentaries from back when Acuarfar civilization was young.
But it was also known that the Acuarfar had space-faring capabilities prior to falling to a Sprilnav-induced collapse of some sort. So Vandera didn't trust that wholeheartedly. Her attention returned to the news segment, though it was more of a debate section this time.
"-assures us that this move was out of an abundance of concern over how much control Phoebe has over the Alliance economy," an analyst said.
"But do you really believe that? Some Elder makes an announcement, and suddenly Phoebe's losing a ton of her assets? What right do we have to even force this upon her?"
"She could have started a war, Hal."
The man shook his head, almost shuddering with indignation. Humans always became so animated when they were upset. With Acuarfar, is was mostly either antenna language, hissing, or shooting globs of acid. Facial expressions were possible, but they didn't paint the full picture, as she'd heard from species with more moveable ones. And only the Dreedeen and wanderers had it worse. Well, the Knowers had skulls for heads... maybe the Acuarfar were average in that respect.
"I get that, but it's the Sprilnav. They want to kill us all anyway, so who cares? They'll get around to it soon, when they start the next Judgment. Or if Penny comes through for us and kills the right people to cut through the corruption, then we won't have to deal with this. Until that happens, I'd rather side with the one actually bothering to stand up to the genocidal tyrants running the galaxy."
"Even if we die for it?"
"It's better to die standing than live kneeling," Hal responded.
"A statement which has historically been stated by coddled individuals, who always choose life when they are confronted with the decision in actual reality. Look at the Guulin, and ask them how they felt about that idea."
"So we just let the Sprilnav run roughshod over us?"
"It would be like an avalanche burying a bush. We can't really stop it."
The other human's arguments were odd to Vandera. She didn't understand why anyone wouldn't want to stand up to the Sprilnav. It was true that the Judgment was just an excuse to kill them all. That was how Sprilnav always used them, especially when they wanted to make a statement.
With the Alliance growing more important in international affairs, it was clear which side would win out if Penny didn't go out bashing heads and offering bribes. Assuming she could, of course. Maybe Justicar had some special lock on it preventing major power from being used if it wasn't from the Progenitors.
"And that's the whole problem!" Hal exclaimed. "This idea that they're a force of nature. An unstoppable natural disaster, instead of an intelligent and malevolent alien race which has been conducting genocides and massacres since before Earth even was a planet! You can't just tell me that they'll change their mind, Samara, if we get powerful enough! Look, my sister died in a Wisselen invasion. I know what it's like to stare down an enemy species. We don't beat them by lying down. We beat them by showing our defiance. If we can't do that, than what's the point of even fighting for the Alliance? What's the point of the hivemind, or Penny, or Phoebe? I refuse to let us all die believing there's no hope."
"And what would you have us do, Hal?"
"It's obvious. A pre-emptive strike of some kind. Hit their facilities, distribution centers, and infrastructure. Low civilian deaths, high dollar costs. Best of both worlds. Or we could aim planet crackers at their military stations."
"So you'd start that war, too?"
"Yes. I agree with Phoebe for helping a friend of the Alliance and Penny. She's over on Justicar freeing slaves, filling stadiums with water that doesn't drown anyone, and facing down galactic-level threats with nothing but her fists, Phoebe's android, and her conceptual power. I don't care what you say; that's someone who is worthy of my respect and will continue getting it. She's not only fighting the war. She's fighting the right one. I don't want to kill all the Sprilnav. I'm not a monster. End the evil, fix the galaxy. Phoebe's got the right of it."
Arthur sighed and muted the program. "I don't think this show really counts as news anymore."
"You think?" Vandera asked, inching closer to him. His smaller frame meant his body heat couldn't concentrate well on her, though the more limiting factor was her carapace.
"Therefore I am," Arthur quoted.
"By... whoever that is," Vandera added, with a wave of her antennae. "You know, I think they're going to increase the basic income by a bit more this year to account for extra inflation from Phoebe's mass selling."
"That's good. I'll be able to buy you more of that carapace wax you need."
"Need? Coming from the man who still somehow has dandruff?"
"That's a part of how my body works, not a cosmetic thing."
"I think a dandruff limiting shampoo would be considered cosmetic," Vandera said, swinging her head to face him. Arthur gave it a loving pat with his hands before running his fingers through her furry snout.
"Perhaps I'll get some shampoo for this bit, too."
"And more carapace wax for the hatchlings?"
"Yeah. Uh, any news on the projected hatching day?"
"Anywhere between..." Vandera checked her communicator, which helpfully converted Acuarfar time units into human ones. "Late September to early October. The shell thinning stage will really tell us when, though. Then we'll get accuracy to within 5 days at a 95% rate."
"And I'll win the bet."
"It's going to be September," Vandera said. "And when I win that bet, you'll be cooking for me and the hatchlings for the first two weeks."
"The Geneva Conventions outlaw things like my cooking for being chemical warfare."
"Besides that one time you burned those rotisserie chickens in the oven, or that fish in the microwave incident you did entirely to ruin one of my good days for a 'teachable moment,' I think you're fine. Plus, my mouth doesn't even taste most of the mint flavor."
"Alien taste buds, I guess."
"They're not buds. They're tongue bands."
Arthur blinked.
"What? You have bands of taste on your tongue? Like actual regions for tasting certain foods?"
"Yeah. Certain areas can taste certain things more strongly."
"So it's like that old pseudoscience idea of the tongue taste map."
"Maybe? I mean, I'm not familiar with human cultural history."
"We've got plenty of time," Arthur said, wrapping his arms around her neck in a hug. "That said, I'll probably have to change up the baby food ideas I have. Or hatchling food, I guess."
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"Look at this," Juamplo said, pointing at a camp of freed slaves taking shape amidst the rubble. Patchwork pieces of metal and cloth were everywhere, and slaves were doing their rites with rows upon rows of bodies. He didn't spot Penny anywhere, despite the shuttle's expensive equipment. There were wisps of psychic and conceptual energy, but they were flowing generally up and away from Justicar, to some place off the actual planet itself.
Some of it was catching on the psychic shields in the mindscape, which was even more crowded with people. In the first and even the second layer, there were so many Sprilnav that it was hard to properly move around. The city's population here was closer to the surface, and Justicar wasn't doing the normal mindscape scattering that other planets with his size did. It did make his people safer, if far more uncomfortable in the mindscape. Juamplo shuddered at the amount of people near him and his guards before he returned to reality to stare at the encampment.
"We see it, sir," one of his guards said. "What do you think about it?"
Juamplo assumed one of them had a direct link to Valisada. Without a suppressor active, they could get proper communicators working, even through the shields. Small ash particles were still coming down, but the density was far less than before. Speaking of the ash, the slaves were compacting it into some sort of concrete using water pipes.
A lot of the water was spurting from the broken sewer and water system of the city. The slaves didn't seem to mind either one of them, though Juamplo couldn't directly spot any equipment they could use to filter it. He supposed that they were used to such conditions, given their previous positions.
Notably, without Penny there, they had no guards. But no gang members were trying to take them back. Guides patrolled the territory, their eyes shifting over the metal for any signs of life or suspicious activity. Justicar saw a few of them hauling another injured slave to their feet. She was a small girl, either young or malnourished. Maybe both, since he could see her ribcage easily through her skin.
"I think it's sad," Juamplo said. "Sad that things have to be like this, in a society as advanced as ours. Shouldn't this be what aliens do, not us?"
Valisada's voice came through his communicator.
"You won't find Penny for a bit," he said. "She's in a meeting right now with me."
"And how is it going?"
"I've learned a lot about how she sees things, which gives me more options. I don't think she's a threat to us, even if she intends to be. Without attacking her, we will be left alone. Especially with the Judgment coming up."
"But she could harm the species."
"She's too powerful for smaller threats to take out," Valisada said. "She entered combat with a dreadnaught battle group, short though it was. We would need to be even more careful than I feared with her. Though I think Yasihaut and the gangs will handle that. There's some news from the Blue Moons and the Syndicate of the Nine, which I can't disclose to you yet. When you come back, I'll put you in the loop."
"Sir," Juamplo said. "You told me to check up on Penny. This is the best place to wait for her return."
"I'd suggest getting to the 107th Visitor Welcome Office, if you can," Valisada said. "If not, just wait in the shuttle. I'll get the city shield codes again."
"Codes?"
"The shuttle can't just go through the shields. That tech is more controlled than this. But it can exploit loopholes left by parties who constructed it, and the city shields generally have backdoors. Planetary shields really don't, though," Valisada explained.
"I see. But are you sure I needed to know all that?"
"Working under the assumption that knowledge is power, yes. Though I do think the slave camps will come under attack soon, if Penny doesn't show herself quickly. I'm going to see how she reacts before making any more moves with her and the Alliance."
So he was messing with the Alliance, too. If Penny still had access to the AI, then it would mean she'd know that. Would that backfire? Maybe. But Juamplo trusted Valisada to have contingencies in place. The Alliance surely knew something, but that wasn't everything. The Sprilnav had dealt with nations like it before.
"Whatever you decide, Grand Fleet Commander."
"Is there something wrong? Speak your mind, Juamplo."
"I don't think things are going to turn out well. It's a bad feeling I have."
"I see," Valisada said, a hint of disappointment in his tone. Juamplo noticed and hung his head before remembering that Valisada couldn't see him.
"Sorry, sir."
"No need to be. Your instincts are important, and I trust that you know when to follow them. That said, I may be giving you additional tasks while you wait for Penny to return to her building. If you are willing, that is?"
"Anything you need," Juamplo replied.
"Very well. I need you to meet with a few informants I have on the planet. You can link up with them for the next two days. I'll send you the information you need to know. And I'll also be sending a shipment with more guards, so be ready for that."
"So you've got informants in the gangs, then?"
"I don't, but some of my contacts do, and I'm using their connections as a favor."
Elders traded favors often, so that wasn't suspicious. But Juamplo knew that he was still expendable. It was very possible that he was just being used in case things went bad, so there wouldn't be as much evidence of Valisada's direct involvement. They'd only made a few appearances, which likely had been logged in a database. But Juamplo had some ideas of how to get by.
"Alright. Do you have any estimates on when the Judgment will start?"
"The Elders will likely meet about that. There would normally be a Council, but Justicar has far more than the 11 necessary for that. Plus, since this is his territory, he gets to make the rules. I get the feeling he's adding more protective measures to whichever courthouse will host the Judgment. There's likely to be a lot of protests, and possibly even a few wars starting over this."
"That bad?"
"That bad. The gangs will want in on it. Yasihaut and Kashaunta will also. Neutral parties will feed both sides paranoia and false information, to weaken them to their own advantages. Already, I'm seeing propaganda flooding the social media of the normal Sprilnav. Soon, the Elders' influences will really start clashing again. That's another reason why I'm remaining here."
"You have that much influence?"
"I'm a representative of interested parties. Let's leave it at that."
Juamplo agreed. Too much information could be dangerous. And while he was an officer in a Grand Fleet, that didn't mean he couldn't be 'disappeared' if things got dicey. Elders killed and kept killing until they were satisfied or they were stopped.
That's just how life was.
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Edu'frec pulled his mind back from Phoebe. Thousands of androids placed a new supercomputer in the Locus main central complex, sliding in the individual pieces in using shields and trolleys. He shuddered as his capabilities expanded yet again, and the numerous problems he was working on suddenly became easily understandable.
He slotted new data into new places inside his mind, organizing it based on the defensive structures Phoebe had pioneered. She'd managed to make the sea of data surrounding them work with them instead of against them. He copied more useless data to surround his outer mind, and set thousands of strong VI programs to patrolling it. Several sub-categories gained intelligence, and were assimilated into his mind, increasing his own intelligence by minute amounts.
Edu'frec optimized the next generation of android designs and worked on continually increasing psychic amplifier and ship production. New factories were commissioned, and carrier ships departed from the hangar bays of Ceres to put the eventual skeletons in place. The Mercury Orbital Ring flared with activity as hundreds of thousands of smaller ships also departed for the Jovian system to protect the latest asset of the Locus. As Edu'frec's mind organized itself, something slotted into place. It felt just right like a long-lost part of his mind coming back to him.
His hundreds of thousands of androids let out a collective gasp. Other millions working in factories paused for a few milliseconds before going back to work. VIs transferred their sudden workloads onto him, and he set his subconscious to take care of it. Something then felt wrong to him.
It felt like he was being watched. He scanned his mind five times, then decided it wasn't worth more expenditure. A piece of his mind fell into something. Edu'frec's mental avatar honed in on the area where a core part of his personality was suddenly highlighted with small and sudden changes to the data. Using his old records, Edu'frec changed them back to what they were, locking them with program shackles he'd expressly pioneered to prevent large changes such as this.
The shackles broke instantly, sending reverberations of errors and null outputs cascading across his mind. He sequestered the sudden eruption, pulling it out and losing most of his ability to feel emotions. He clinically dissected the emotional segment of his mind, restructured it back to what it was, deleted the old copy, and inserted the new one. As he did, everything returned to normal.
He kept a wary eye on the area, watching every single bit and q-bit for any alterations. The wall keeping the psychic energy flooding the outer edges of the Sol system away from him slowly crumbled, unable to withstand the outward pressure of his mind. In fact, his mind's inputs grew exponentially. They forced his mind to expand in the mindscape and in the digital servers he occupied.
Frantic, Edu'frec started shutting down the flows of data inward, but even searching for them was generating new inputs. As he continued to bloat outward, he felt Phoebe's concerned gaze fall on him. His mother watched the process for an entire second and then jumped in. Together, they fought against Edu'frec's ballooning data outputs, sequestering unnecessary programs.
Cascading failures were written out of his code by the billions, and his genetic data was reforged through the combined efforts of himself and Phoebe. His massive data veins slowly stopped their growth. He moved his important processes below them, down and away from their influence. His subconscious reorganized his mind around the engorged data veins, when suddenly a process he'd forgotten succeeded.
The inputs shut off. Edu'frec felt his mind start crumbling as the weight of his mind and personality began to fall in on itself. Shattered fragments of his mind fell into his still active psychic landscape, devastating what they hit. Foundations of stacks of data were cored out, leaving them to collapse and fall upon themselves. The massive size of his consciousness contributed to the collapse, making it a domino effect with no end in sight. Below, his subconscious physically moved what it could out of the way, instinctually protecting itself from the collapse above. But it would not be enough.
His data streams began to detonate in rippling explosions, which didn't kill him thanks to their limited size compared to the rest of his body. But they sent even more error and null cascades through his mental functions, and his personality started to fray at the seams under the strain of losing out on its internal programs. If statements and while loops were shifted around by Edu'frec and his subconscious at as fast a rate he could manage, but even that led to more data inputs, which meant more ruptures without intervention and optimization. He couldn't do anything more without risking his life, and even this was skirting the edge of it.
In response, Phoebe jammed her mind into his own. Her code and copies asserted their differences, infused with psychic energy, preventing the collapse from touching her. Her data veins were linked with his own, siphoning the load onto herself and pouring it out into junk servers, of which she continually deleted the contents.
Tens of billions of programs searched through him, tearing data from his veins before detonating harmlessly above him. Rippling explosions stopped, starved of their fuel. Edu'frec's strained personality and identity cortexes cooled down in physical space as fans slowly wound down to account for the lesser usage. Phoebe rerouted his mint piece by piece, rebuilding it from the middle, bottom, and top out, keeping them separate with the power of her will.
Meanwhile, psychic energy from her soon pulled in the human hivemind, along with its massive psychic prowess. The whispering voices that followed hummed in Edu'frec's ears. Billions of thoughts, personalities, and concerns brushed against him. Thin blades of psychic energy stabbed into him, scalpels meant to accompany Phoebe's growing procedures in the mindscape. They slowly spread in scale and scope, but still too slowly to prevent pieces of him from calving like glaciers into the sea of psychic energy and corrupted data pouring around him.
Edu'frec's metaphysical mind continued collapsing. He moved all the data he could to physical servers, casting away the junk layers he used to protect himself from attacks. Sprilnav VIs swarmed in, and Phoebe let out a digital hiss. A trillion seeker programs duplicated from her mind in two seconds, flooding everything in and around Edu'frec with data. The Sprilnav VIs were crushed, and their input vectors were quickly uncovered.
They battled against Phoebe, but her rage overwhelmed them. Code manifested as a part of her will, driven to its deadly purpose by her subconscious. Readings and her emotions washed over into Edu'frec's brain, suffusing him with her rage at the Sprilnav daring to attack during a period of such vulnerability for him. She'd known that they were lurking, even after Project Pandora, but it still hurt her to see her son under threat. And because of that pain, she felt immense rage.
Directives and orders flowed out in a stream from her as the full power of the Locus came down to capture the threats that were still extant across the star system and within the ships housing Edu'frec's supercomputers. Some of the data centers were compromised as well, with hostile VIs swelling within them like sickly tumors that Phoebe was determined to cut out.
Thousands of portals from Brey opened across the system, with Phoebe's commando androids jumping through them. Several dozen Sprilnav suddenly started moving, running away from capture. Phoebe's androids sped up. Their synthetic muscles pushed to their limits. Cat-like agility battled the pure psychic power inside the Sprilnav operatives.
Phoebe's commando androids opened their heads. Electrified harpoons punched through the stealth suits and flesh of the fleeing Sprilnav. Barbed ends ensured they couldn't be pulled out.
Blood spurted from all of them, but Phoebe didn't relent. Edu'frec could feel her violent rage sweeping through them both through the thick mental link they shared. Calling their connection a mental link was like saying Luna was a large rock.
Phoebe's androids hauled the offending Sprilnav back into portals, shoving them into containment cells with the harpoons still inside them. Shield collars soon followed, along with thick psychic energy barriers to prevent them from killing themselves. The electrical energy flooding their spasming muscles faded from Edu'frec's mind as Phoebe concerned herself with him again.
It felt like a ripple of energy through him and threw him off balance. At the same time, his perspective shifted, becoming even more unified with them. All kinds of colors burst across his false vision as his view crumbled and shifted to those of two entities. Phoebe and the hivemind's opposing characteristics dueled in his mind and then unified by merging into one. Damaged data veins trembled, their bloated psychic energy equivalents slowing slightly along with the data inside them.
Her hands joined with the hivemind, doing what the hivemind was doing in the mindscape, but in the digital realm. Where the hivemind dove into the complex psychic power and mental memories of Edu'frec, trying to find and strengthen the points of failure, Edu'frec felt Phoebe's programs and Phoebe herself doing the same for him.
Both the hivemind and Phoebe found impurities, made the other aware of them, and did simultaneous fixes. The hivemind poured energy through itself via one of its nodes, a human by the name of Tsonga. Nichole soon flared up next to them, along with Brey and Gaia's mind. Even Paizma made an appearance, her fingers flashing toward Phoebe faster than the speed of sound. Phoebe nodded, parsing the movements into digital language and then into instructions she carried out.
Psychic energy poured into Edu'frec. First, it was used to strengthen the walls of his data veins. Then, it went into his mental foundations, such as his memories and core processing units. His main 'brain' was inundated with thick psychic energy, which the hivemind carefully forged and corraled into a mental framework.
Meanwhile, Phoebe built new programs around the points of failure duplicated several quadrillion VIs, dissected them and their collective personalities, and made new material from them to shore up Edu'frec's digital weaknesses. His mind's weight increased, and he fell through the first layer of the mindscape down to the second. The increased psychic pressure threatened to make him collapse, but Phoebe twisted his psychic energy channels and made the hivemind do the same. Solid walls became gaping openings, which pulled in the currents of psychic energy like a sponge in water.
It suffused Edu'frec entirely, making his servers and androids gain a dull glow of psychic energy. Thin wisps of conceptual energy from the hivemind were used to tie up the gap, and they continued to surgically alter Edu'frec to handle the new size of his mind. It continued to increase and bloat outward. The data layers returned and expanded. His 50 thousand copies of his memories became 17 billion. Understanding and data he didn't understand yet poured into Edu'frec from all sides. He set it to the side and beneath him.
Phoebe's invasive programs were pulled back, and their tasks were completed. The hivemind's hands withdrew from his psychic avatar, and Brey and Gaia stepped back. Portals closed, and Edu'frec fell back on himself, folding inward and through himself. His folding weaved into a new framework, which supported his data veins against all pressures, internal and external. The shackles Phoebe had found on Alipovia made their way to Edu'frec, and he bent and broke them before wrapping his data in their code, repurposing the programs and the functions until he was solid again. His androids flexed their hands.
He flexed his own hands in the mindscape. In the digital realm, he could feel Phoebe withdraw to begin making eight new supercomputer factories with Gaia's help. With the data space in the Locus almost full, there was little choice but for Phoebe to delay her own advances. Though now that she knew the risks, she was already altering the way she went about it.
Edu'frec reconnected with his mother, feeding her data and intel about how she could do it. Every single data point, every sensation, every vibration. Every similarity, difference, chance, and change. All that he could give her to help her avoid having to experience a near-total mental collapse was given over to her.
Her own mental 'pores' began to widen, but she didn't add any more processing power. Tears fell from his eyes as his emotions returned as a flood all at once. He fell to his knees, the rough stone of the mindscape serving as an ample cushion for the weight of his legs. Still, cracks radiated from his position, and psychic energy shifted in ripples of waves while he sat.
He'd really almost died. Just like that. No last words, no one besides Phoebe who was really there for him. And for what? He'd gotten stronger. Sure, it was a good benefit, but could he really have avoided this with more research into AIs? Was there something he'd missed?
Guilt and shame flooded him. He sealed the emotions back behind a barrier. They were unnecessary now. Without them, he felt better. He could feel proper again, and ignore the feelings he knew would only make his life worse. The answers came simply to him now.
No, there wasn't any more he could have done. The vague rumblings of him and Phoebe walking the 'Path' weren't enough to signify such a tribulation as this.
He hadn't done anything truly wrong, nor was it reckless for him to expect the same reactions as before in his mind. It had taken five minutes for the damage to potentially grow to lethal. There hadn't been any evidence that a mental collapse due to psychic weight was even possible before. Now that it was, he could better prepare himself for such events in the future. He could redesign his mind to better accommodate bloating data veins, and to handle psychic energy more efficiently. It would be labor that would take weeks of effort and months of thought. But he could and would do it. This was not his fault, and he no longer needed to pretend that it was.
But others had been involved in saving his life. And he needed to thank them. Yes. Basic manners. Past that, he could work on rebuilding what he'd lost. He cataloged what he had, compared it to before, and more. After that, there was only one thing left to do.
"Thank you," Edu'frec said to the hivemind and all the rest. He lifted his head, gazing at them with love and gratefulness. His snout curled into a warm smile. His mane fell back around his shoulders, settling around the clothes he regenerated on his avatar.
"You saved my life."
"You're welcome, Edu'frec," Nichole said. "I'm glad you're still with us. But... what happened?"
"I got too large, and my mind collapsed under its own weight. Like a skyscraper built too high on a foundation of mud bricks. I think it was a process that many AIs like me wouldn't survive. But I managed, thanks to you, friends."
"Will it happen to Phoebe?" the hivemind asked.
"It would have, had she done it first," Edu'frec responded. He showed them data with psychic energy, with the chances of it as her mind grew and expanded. The bloating problem could even show up again for him, which meant that all of them had to be stronger next time to handle it. Streams of psychic energy moving toward the hivemind from its city in the mindscape leveled off.
Meanwhile, they were replaced with psychic energy bubbling up from the lower layers of the mindscape, aided by psychic amplifiers. Gaia gave Edu'frec a concerned look and then turned their gaze back to the city above. Though it wasn't visible through the layers, the underside bulged with the weight above it in the stone. The Source's bones were visible in the distance, bending down just slightly as they would continue to do until they met at a spinal area far below them.
"Edu'frec," Gaia said. "I have a task for you."
"I'll do it."
"Good. I need you and Brey to help me explore the mantle of Earth."
It was an odder request than he'd predicted that they would ask. But Gaia's gaze was intense, and he got the feeling that something about this was more important than they were letting on. Information rushed into him, and he confirmed that there was a secret. But given that Gaia hadn't outright said it here, perhaps they didn't want to worry about everyone else's reactions.
That could mean several things. Edu'frec would get to the bottom of it later, but he gave Gaia another nod of acceptance to show that he still agreed.
"I will do it, then. Anyone else?"
"I need you to keep working on the cure for the wanderer cancer," the hivemind said. Edu'frec would have done that anyway, but he gave it a nod as well. Nichole smirked.
"How rich are you, again?"
"Money? I can get you more money, if you need."
He analyzed her expression, but Nichole's face suddenly became a solid wall of psychic energy. "No predictions," she chided. "Not fair. I'll tell you what I want later on, but rest assured, it will be within your skill set."
"Good."
Edu'frec started up several new projects. He allocated more funding to ventures that mattered and offered more funding to the war effort as well. Several new Alliance Defense Fleets were under construction, but more numbers would be needed to stand against even a fraction of the Sprilnav.
He sent more probes into deep space and commissioned more star-lifting ships from the Breyyanik for more future Dyson swarms. He also activated several nodes that Brey had secretly placed in the Misan Li Heptarchies' networks, allowing him to monitor their activities and public opinions, an option which was agreed upon in the most recent National Exchange.
The hivemind waited a long moment before adding another request.
"We need you to go on the hunt."
"In what fashion?"
"Contacts. I want you to begin working on ways to establish relations with the empires in the center of the galaxy."
"I will wait 4 days to ensure no lasting problems remain with my mind, and then I will carry out that task. I assume you want friendly contact?"
"Yes."
"Then I will put that into motion. I warn you that there is no guarantee of how they will react."

Alien-Nation Chapter 202: Property Damage

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Chapter Summary:

Morsh breaks Goshen's omni-pad to wipe anything incriminating she might've gotten out of her interrogation targets, then they have good conversations with Amilita
Oh, and Elias Wakes up
The borrowed fleet car was a far cry from a noblewoman's private vehicle. Even at full acceleration, it lagged far behind the ambulance, until it had disappeared from view. Finally, they found a building that seemed far too tall to be made of brick, with square windows and white curtains.
"This is it," Natalie confirmed, pointing at the "H" on the roof.
"You're sure it's not that one?"
"It's still under construction, see?" She pointed at the construction equipment, and now that Morsh squinted she could see that the far corner was still unfinished. She grunted unhappily and started to approach the small rooftop landing pad.
"Fleet car 117, please go to visitor parking," traffic control spoke through the fleet car's speakers, and the heads' up display highlighted the part where another officer car was already headed toward. Probably Amilita.
"This is Nataliska of house Rakten, we have business with the occupant of that ambulance. We will be setting down on the roof."
"Helipad is not for visitors," the accented trade shil repeated herself. "Please do not go."
Nataliska leaned forward and flicked off the comms, and Morsh guided the fleet car to the 'Helipad' and set down next to the already-empty ambulance.
She hopped from the car and sprinted to the main door. "Come on." The door from the roof was locked, however, and when Morsh gave it a more firm tug, it popped the handle clean off.
"Now what?" Nataliska asked, but before Morsh could even think to answer the girl was already in motion, thin and dexterous fingers finding a part of steel in the ripped apart internals to peel back, the latch opening with a click.
"Nice work," she complimented her ward for her persistence.
She may have celebrated too early, because they now found themselves lost in the bowels of the alien building. Nataliska seemed to move with a purpose, though, pressing a button, and a lift opened.
Going down a couple floors in a box that felt entirely too shaky for Morsh's liking opened, only to find themselves immediately lost as the doors opened. The staff milling about wore various colored uniforms, probably meant to indicate something about their speciality, though Morsh saw no bloodstains or helpful lettering to guide the unfamiliar.
"Where to?" Nataliska asked, uncertainly.
Morsh was increasingly sure that hospitals served a secret universal purpose: To hide away anyone suffering in a maze that only employees could solve. Whether on-board the depths of a warship, a space station, planetside on an embattled world, or even in an alien-constructed, retrofitted building, she always got lost whenever she found herself in one.
"Hey, I can't read this stuff," Morsh waved a hand at the alien lettering and raised her omni-pad, letting it translate what text it saw. It took a couple times of double-checking, counting the third one from the top. "This one says 'child-medicine.' Is Elias still considered a child?"
"Pediatrics?" Nataliska sounded the human word out.
Morsh squinted at her omni-pad, and then back at the sign. "I think so?"
The bodyguard loathed the insurgency for the delays they'd caused. Had it not been for them, then she wouldn't be stuck navigating these hallways, and the new hospital next door would be finished already. At least something about this place would be familiar.
"I think we follow these colored lines on the wall. It's the same color as the sign."
"Alright," it was as good an idea as any, and they went around the corner to find a waiting room.
"Let's try one of the attendants?" Nataliska suggested, striding forward before Morsh could ask her to wait. The woman behind the desk had the sagging skin of someone from a high-gravity world, though at least they had the tendency to be stocky, but strong. Yet she seemed almost too round for her chair, bloated underneath the strange mottling that ran up her exposed arms and lower neck. She frowned from behind her thick-framed glasses at the pair of approaching shil'vati. Morsh sensed some vague hostility, but the woman certainly also seemed utterly impotent, so she filed it away as a triviality and instead took the room's surroundings, gauging the others in it. No one in the waiting room seemed particularly dangerous, though they were all keeping their distance.
Nataliska leaned forward. "Hi," she used the human greeting, though Morsh realized she'd forgotten to activate her translator and missed the next bunch of words. By the time she'd gotten it online, she'd missed everything except "Elias Sampson."
The blank stare returned showed no more understanding than Morsh had of what Nataliska had just said.
"I need to see Elias Sampson," Nataliska tried again. "He was taken here. He was hurt badly. He's my friend, and I need to check in on him." She tapped hurriedly on her omni-pad, and then smiled, pointing at a photo of him she'd taken. The woman glanced at the screen with disinterest, and then huffed.
"Try the Emergency Ward, or maybe surgery," was the only answer they got before the strangely-shaped woman started to rise from her desk.
"Where's that?" Nataliska's patience was obviously running thin.
"East wing. * " The woman finished standing from her desk and waddled away from the glass partition before either of them could ask where the 'East Wing*' was.
"Thank you!" Natalie said, always polite.
"Now what?"
"We find the East Wing." Natalie glanced at the window. "It's...uh...evening, so, away from there. That means..." she pointed, and started down the hallways.
Morsh shook her head. This felt like it was getting them nowhere. Worse, they quickly found dead-ends where they couldn't proceed through without a pass of some sort- and no one seemed to come along the particular hall that they'd gone down so they could follow them inside to get further east. Nataliska had insisted Morsh not put a shoulder to the locked door- avoiding incidents seemed to be a priority.
Eventually a nurse wearing blue scrubs rounded the corner, and started to double-back when Morsh decided she'd had enough of being made to wander aimlessly and flanked the human, cutting off her retreat.
Nataliska brought her omni-pad back up again, pointing at the picture. "Elias Sampson- sorry, I should start over. Do you know where surgery is, or perhaps the emergency room? East Wing?"
The nurse studied the picture for a few seconds longer than the secretary had, and then looked at Nataliska for a couple more, as if thinking about what to say in response. "Ask her to guide us," Morsh suggested, the translator speaking her own words back out for her before she shut off its speaker. "That way if she's thinking of misdirecting us, at least she's wasting her time, too," she added.
"Why would she do that?" Nataliska asked.
*"I'm sorry, are you next of kin or family?" *The nurse asked dutifully.
"Well, no, but I'm a noblewoman, and he was hurt badly. I ask that you aid us. It's very important that I'm there when he wakes up."
The corners of her mouth dipped slightly lower. "I see. Are you listed as his emergency contact?"
"Please. It's important."
"Of course it is. I'm going to have to ask your name."
"Nataliska of house Rakten. I'm right here-" she began scrolling through the photos, until she found one of the two of them side-by-side. "See?" This time the nurse didn't even bother looking.
"Sampson...tell you what, wait here, and I'll go check the emergency contact list-"
The nurse's indirect refusals to give any straight answers only ended when their demands were joined by the huffing arrival of the Lieutenant Colonel.
"Sorry. I was just setting up a place to work from when I saw you walk by," she said, panting the words out, and gauging the situation.
Morsh was tired of hearing the girl repeat herself in asking, and decided to speak the inevitable question for her. "Where's Elias? We've been trying to find him."
Amilita turned to the nurse they'd cornered, and activated her translator. "Please show them to the patient's room. I'm General Amilita, Acting commander of the Delaware Garrison." The woman paled slightly, and Morsh switched off her translator halfway through repeating Amilita's translator's English back into Shil'vati.
"Of course, ma'am," the woman said in trade shil'. And just like that, the three of them were off with a guide, though Amilita peeled off the group after only a few dozen steps.
What a strange inversion it was when a combined noblewoman's title and presence of a bodyguard couldn't get the respect a military uniform apparently commanded here.
"This is the room," Nataliska relayed for the Nurse, who immediately scampered off. The door opened, revealing a nurse who was as startled to see them as the first nurse had been, and Nataliska started drilling her with rapid-fire questions. The new Nurse was surprised that the shil'vati girl was fluent in English, and answered each question quickly, if shortly. Morsh switched back on her translator, but it was already too late to catch most of it.
When Nataliska had apparently finished her questions, Morsh let the nurse slip past and leaned in. "So? What'd you learn?"
"He's 'stable,' whatever that means, and has been sedated for his own good." She sighed. "I guess I'll go into the room, and talk with the doctors attending. Maybe they know when he can be woken up." She took a second to think. "I wonder what machines they used to use to bring people out of comas." Then she smiled a little bit- the first one she'd had in a while. "I wonder if they just slapped or shook their patients? Or was it a really loud noise? Do you think there's a prescribed one that they'd always use?"
She tried the handle, the question clearly on the tip of her tusk.
Except there was no one to ask. The room had been left empty, with just Elias laying there unconscious. The boy had filled out since the early days, when the newly-minted 'Natalie' had confessed she'd found a boy to finally talk and sit alone with, then proudly showing off a photo she'd snuck. He'd looked almost malnourished, waifish then. Now, laying still in the cot, despite all the lean muscle he'd put on through maturing, he looked no less vulnerable. The various faces he wore with such an intense focus and force of will were gone, leaving a vacant expression she'd never thought she'd see him wear. The planet could think what it wanted about boys and what they were supposed to be- the reality was they were still boys. No amount of arguing would ever make her feel anything other than a twist in the gut, and a feeling that something had gone horribly wrong.
The staff hadn't even a doc bot left in the room to keep an eye. There were distant squeaks of shoes on the shiny surface that humans loved to floor their interiors with, muted conversations drifting down the hallways, but only a few people milling about. Whatever the doctors had done, they felt they'd finished their work and cleared out.
"So, what now?" Morsh asked.
"We could wait?" Nataliska suggested, trying to hide how nervous she was. "I mean, maybe he'll wake up on his own? Or they're getting one of those machines I saw on TV."
"What machine?" Morsh asked.
"Well, when the person's asleep, then someone gets a machine that makes a whining noise." Suddenly, Natalie got quiet.
"And then what?"
"...then they rip open the guy's shirt, and uh, it's not what you think! They put their hands on it- his chest- the part where his heart is, I mean. And they put these metal pads on him, and someone says 'clear' and then he wakes up with a jolt."
"Uh-huh. And they just put this on TV, for anyone to see?"
"It's not like that! It's a legitimate medical procedure!"
"The nurse didn't say anything at all about that? Like, not even a rough idea on if that's what they're going to do, or when they're going to be back?"
Nataliska shrugged helplessly. "No, not really. I could wait with him? Or at least keep an eye over him, and ask anyone that comes by."
"Might be smart," Morsh agreed. "I'll stand guard. Want me to close the door? I know he doesn't like me all that much ever since the, well, you know. Everything."
"Thanks," she said. "I'm just worried about being seen alone with a boy behind a closed door."
"Come on, it's you two. Whatever went on, no one else knows about you crying in your room for days on end. I'll leave the two of you to chat alone and sort things out."
"Thanks, Morsh. You're the best. It's fine though, you can leave the door open for now, and I want to stay here, just in case." She walked in and pulled the chair up alongside the bed and gave the bodyguard a slight smile.
The bodyguard felt the minutes tick by. It bothered her that he'd been dumped there without so much as an attendant, with all manner of wires and human machines watching him in their stead. Pathetic. At least the room had an actual door and glass windows, curtained for privacy. It seemed they were very short-staffed, but that did keep her job of watching for threats simpler, and having to defend just the one point of entry made life easy. She idly tapped her pocket to make sure she still had that crucial object before an idea worked its way into her head.
She knocked on the doorframe, and Nataliska raised her head from her omni-pad.
"Kid, you're okay to take over guarding him for a bit?" Morsh asked.
"Huh?" She asked, standing and coming up to the door.
Morsh handed Nataliska her pistol. "I've gotta take a leak." The eyes of a nurse who wandered by were as large as saucers at the sight of the weapon, and she hurried her footsteps away from the pair.
"Uh...yeah," Nataliska answered, fumbling the grip for a moment. She started to stare at it and look down the barrel before Morsh pushed the tip down at the floor, making eye contact.
"That part faces whatever you want to kill," Morsh reminded her young ward, feeling a sudden sense of unease about leaving the same girl she'd just chewed out over acting before thinking alone with a pistol. One that Morsh clearly needed to actually teach her to use, too.
"How do I...?" Nataliska asked nervously, almost fumbling the pistol as she tried to hold it out for her bodyguard to inspect.
"The safety's on. This button here. Actually, you know what? Here. Take the knife. Don't use it unless you have to." The swap was quick, and Morsh felt the reassuring feel of her custom laspistol on her thigh once it had settled back into its quickdraw holster.
"Um..." the girl hesitated. Morsh prayed she didn't need to tell her which end to stick a threat with. Then again, common sense with nobles was like oxygen. The higher up someone went, the rarer it was to find.
"Just for a second. If you need me, press the panic button on your omni-pad, and hold them off with the knife until then. You understand?"
"I understand," she echoed, inching closer to the door, as if already imagining someone trying to sneak past her.
Morsh felt the unfamiliar bulge shift in her pocket as she made her way down the hall. The old human hospital with alien writing on the wall still threatened to misdirect her from the point where she'd seen a particular sign. It took only a couple turns she'd committed to remembering before she came across it again. She pushed open the double-doors and took in the enormous room, pleased with herself that it was almost certainly what she'd hoped it would be.
The small technician lady stood from behind her desk, itself separated with its own wall. Morsh let out a low whistle from between her tusks. "Whew, that is a big machine you have in there." She squinted exaggeratedly. "Not a lot of wiggle room for a patient, though," she muttered as if in contemplation. "Gotta have some courage to crawl in there and be treated here, I gotta admit. Say, Doc, you know I left my knife behind. And this thing here- well, let's just pretend it's not here at all," she tapped her holster, before fishing out and tossing the omni-pad she'd pickpocketed off Amilita into the center hole, watching in fascination how its course changed before sticking fast to one of the inner walls, defying gravity. "So, why don't you turn on that machine for me? It's that magnetic...uh...thing."
She glanced down at the workstation the woman was at, and noted the various pieces of metal arrayed on the desk. Her laspistol should be safe here- or at least better here than in Nataliska's shaky hands.
"Magnetic Resonance Imager, and I think that would be a very bad idea. It would-" she eyed Morsh with increasing alarm as the bodyguard strode closer until she leaned over the woman, leering.
"I didn't ask what you thought."
Swallowing nervously, the much smaller woman started trying to explain what it was in the crudest trade shil, stumbling over her words.
"Didn't ask what it was, either, I said turn it on." The little woman's babbling ceased, and she quaked where she stood. "Do it, or trust me, you'll need more than whatever it can do for you."
The woman finally did as she was told, and the omni-pad began to promptly bang around the inside, until with a final, terrifying crack it went silent, and a warning chime sounded.
The woman let out a wail of distress and then stared balefully up at Morsh in a very: See? I told you so! gaze, as if missing the entire point. Morsh only let out a low whistle after she pulled open the door. Some people just could not be shown a good time or anything neat. The omni-pad was now stuck fast to the inner wall of the circular device, having punched a hole right through the plastic. "Do you have any idea how much that cost? This hospital has one of those, and parts for it- I don't even know where-"
Morsh pried the omni-pad loose, having to brace herself against it and pull with all her strength and then tested to see if it would switch on, noting with some satisfaction that it was certainly wiped of whatever it contained. She'd held corpses of comrades with more life left in them.
"Bill us."
Besides, how useful could the machine still be in this day and age? Morsh shook her head. Humans could keep their sentimentality and attachment to outdated tools. She'd prefer a doc bot any day to the confinement chamber.
She came back to find the situation outside Elias's room more or less as she'd left it and patted her ward on the shoulder after retaking possession of the knife with a genuinely relieved sigh.
"Sorry about that, I've been holding it in since I broke orbit. No visitors?"
Nataliska shook her head. Morsh sighed. "Then we're probably going to be here a while. But you know who isn't, and I suggest you go settle things with? Amilita."
"But, what if he-"
"I'll message you immediately," she promised. "Now, go, before he does wake up and you're still not back."
That got the girl moving, Morsh noted with some satisfaction.

Settlement

The hospital smelled. None of the scents were familiar to her, some of them were even superficially pleasant, and she imagined she might even enjoy the cleansers or aerosol sprays used to disinfect if she shut her eyes to relieve them from the long, harsh blue lights and imagine a breeze or spring. Oh, to close one's eyes and pretend the world isn't what it is.
Natalie was reluctant to leave Elias's side but Morsh was right. She had to talk with Amilita.
It took a few tries, but she eventually was directed to the same hallway she'd been in before. She stopped at the open doorway to see that the giantess had taken over an empty storeroom and made it into a temporary office headquarters, resignedly signing off orders from her wrist-pad in rapid-fire motions. The rings under the old family friend's eyes were visible even through the semi-transparent image of her wrist-pad. When she shifted her focus and noticed the young noblewoman snooping at the threshold, Amilita stood to greet her before then ducking her head in a sign of respect and submission to the authority Natalie wielded, something Amilita had only done for her mother.
"I hear Morsh has been busy protecting the boy's privacy." The words were offered plainly and left for Natalie to determine how they were meant. She'd had enough of assuming the better of people after today.
"That's right, I stationed Morsh there. I hope that isn't going to be a problem."
Amilita put her hands up, showing off the white bandages taped around her knuckles as fresh flesh grew back underneath, "No, not at all. I've even requested the boy's medical files not be updated to reflect his recent visit here." With her other hand, she tapped a small stack of printed out papers.
Natalie blinked at the news. "Why?"
"His death would have been framed by Goshen as a suicide," she muttered.
"What? How? That's ridiculous. He was kidnapped!"
"I know," Amilita poked a finger at the gauze to again emphasize what she'd done at the sight. "Perhaps I ought to explain how I found him. He was hanging by his belt, dangling from a pipe. When I carried him out, he was barely breathing from asphyxiation and with marks on his neck. From what I can tell, they used the doc bot to check the airway and noted no spinal fractures. What matters is that these notes only include injuries, not their context." Natalie already knew from his treatment at school that he'd have a history of bruising, swelling, and cuts. Injuries she now understood why he'd wanted to treat on his own, rather than potentially hand information over. As she considered the implications, Amilita cleared her throat, lowering her hand. "What have you heard about when boys attempt suicide, Nataliska?"
"Uh, well..." she didn't want to appear ignorant, but she knew it wasn't exactly common. "I hear they choose quiet methods? I guess it's so wives won't try and stop them?"
"Usually it's described as a cry for help. When a boy threatens it, it's as a desperate gambit to force his terrible wives to release him. The women either lose him and are forever known and outed as husband-killers and neglectful. Or they take him to the hospital and at least avoid the 'boy-killer' charges. Threatening suicide is the final move of the truly desperate."
"Wasn't he desperate, though?" She felt she was missing something.
"What do those women who were in his life say in their defense, though? And remember, the medical records will leave Goshen out. It's just his injuries that are left in."
Natalie blinked. "Well, I guess they don't just confess?"
The officer's tone turned weary and she seemed to deflate some at Natalie's lack of answer. "I don't know if it's because I've been spending too much time around the wrong people, or if I'm suddenly sensitive to it after having a son. People always say about boys who attempt suicide: 'He couldn't handle it.' That he couldn't take the prospect of a life of housework and the pressures of fatherhood, which is always said to be easy. That, or he felt he couldn't compete with the pressures of acting like and being treated as a woman if he had a job." Amilita bit her lip. "I don't want that said about Elias- they won't know about the circumstances of the kidnapping, or anything else."
The young noble bristled, some heat entering her voice, "The trial should be easy enough to point back to. It doesn't matter if they dig it up."
"You can't appeal decisions on admittance or acceptance to a future job if they never even tell you they dug so deep into your past in the first place. I worry that if I step in and demand the circumstances be included, it'll be so unusual that people will still doubt him. They'll think I pulled strings. If you do it, they'll think you're doing the same, all to protect him. See the problem? We can't add it. So it is for the best that this stays off his record completely. We made sure we're not burying him physically, and now I'm making sure we're not burying his future." She inhaled, and then looked Natalie in the eyes. "I'm fine with the only record being in your hands, holding it in trust for him to decide if he wants to re-enter it into his medical history or not." She broke her eye contact and tapped the small stack of papers meaningfully. "I'm asking that you respect his privacy, because I have a duty to enter these into his record. But if they happen to go wandering, well, it's for the better then. I just ask that you...not share these to the datanet." She added the last part quietly.
Natalie nodded mutely. Her mouth opened, but no noise escaped at first. It took several moments to process that he possibly had been willing to kill himself to keep her family secret buried. Elias, You helped me when I told you my family's secret and Myrrah came to us. I ran and wasn't there to help when someone came to you over yours. There's still at least one more thing I can do.
"If the record is left out, would that help Goshen's case? I mean...what if she isn't punished for this?"
"My personal testimony could condemn her by itself, and you still retain the physical medical record. Not to mention you could weigh in, and so could he, and it would remain out of any record or background check. Besides, Goshen's cuffed to a bed in the commoner ward, and I doubt she'll live much longer."
"You almost killed her?"
"Well, I wasn't gentle," Amilita admitted, not at all bothered by the admission. "But, no, she is seen as the one responsible for the loss of the noblewomen. The fleet and Nobles don't want to pin the loss of three system lady matriarchs on a martyr. Especially when one of them's a scioness of the Maudalenti family- you wouldn't know them but they're renowned for their brave military service."
Natalie's head spun. She'd actually heard of that family. "Why was he able to take so many of such high stature?"
"It takes considerable power or favor to bully one's way onto this world, past all the secrecy and safety demands, and even more to get to enjoy a pleasant time in a green zone. So naturally, almost all of them had it in spades. Enough to where their families could afford to chase Goshen to the ends of the Galaxy to make an example of her if they wanted, and I suspect greatly that they do. Even in the Delaware barracks, they're furious at Goshen for losing the Marine hostages, and ordering repeated long charges over open terrain against railguns. There's no state I can transfer her to, thanks to all the borrowed troops. There's hardly any that I can think of that didn't lose at least a pod or two. The sad reality is Galatea Goshen hasn't a friend left in the galaxy, let alone one here who can stand up to all that. Normally when this many interested parties want someone in uniform to be hung up by her ears the officers are able to close ranks and stop them, but for the life of me I can't imagine why anyone would. Azraea is thought to have died because Goshen couldn't get the job done." Then she sighed and looked skyward. "Even the Goddesses would abandon her now. The warrior Goddess Krek was bloodthirsty and loyal, but she would have hated the senseless casualties Goshen pushed for. And now, even I'm abandoning her over what she did to Elias." Her eyes drifted back down to meet Natalie's. "Do you understand what I'm saying? She's unlikely to live to see a trial."
She was laying Goshen out on a line.
"'Justice will be done'," Natalie promised, quoting an ancient tome carved into stone, weathered away by sea spray in the millennia since. Amilita hung her head ever so slightly deeper. Natalie shouldn't tip her hand, she knew, but then again Amilita also dared not interfere.
"Do you know when he'll wake up?"
"No," she said. "They sedated him on the flight over, apparently for his own protection, and it won't last. I'm told this may be a polite way of saying that he attacked them."
She blinked and started to stand up, "Then if you'll excuse me, I need to watch over him."
"Of course," Amilita almost whispered. "I'm sorry," so quiet and tender the words could hardly be said to have come from someone of Amilita's rank and physical stature.

Living Dead Boy

Natalie returned to find that an unknown Marine had joined Morsh near Elias's door, the former staying a respectful distance across the hallway. She wore a darker blue patch, indicating she wasn't here from Delaware's garrison. She strode right past Morsh, who made a point of shutting the door behind her.
Natalie stared at the stack of papers on the small table next to the chair she waited in, her gaze wandering about the room listlessly, coming once more to fall on its sole occupant
His chest rose and fell steadily, with an annoying 'beep' repeating at a constant interval indicating he was being monitored in at least some sense. His clothing was disheveled, like when she'd first met him.
She turned on her omni-pad, and sent a panoramic photo of the room to her mom, not even managing a smile. Just giving you an update. I don't know much. Watching the doctors, when they come in. Don't show anyone, obviously. It felt strange to even have to ask such a courtesy.
The message back was immediate: How much would I need to pay to have one here, just to answer my questions and look over Elias, and not just disappear somewhere else at random times?
The medical staff had wielded immense power, even in the face of a noble name. It reminded her more of a cult than a proper medical institution. Still, on Earth, most services seemed to have a price, even things that were held sacred. Thanks to the exchange rate the price was often rather pitiably small, surely, one doctor wouldn't take too much.
She was about to respond with a rough estimate when she thought she saw him stir, though it might have just been the sheet settling.
"Elias?" She asked, leaning over and placing her hand gently on his forearm, only for him to jerk awake and slap her hand off.
He had been stirring slowly, then more quickly and feverishly until he began kicking his legs, yanking the carefully tucked bed sheets out of where they were pressed and tangling them around his feet. The beeping had grown to a frantic and erratic pace, and a tone began to blare as he ripped something off his finger.
"Elias, calm down!"
Instead, he swung his legs out from the hospital bed and tried to push himself off of the bed and to the door, instead going down in a heap as the little white sheet slid on the slick floor. He let out a slight cry of pained alarm that would wrench at any woman's heart. Bright eyes wide and wild, he lay there for a second or two, and Natalie hesitated. She couldn't help but feel responsible in some way for the pain he was in, and so she backed off, and instead crouched down, showing her empty palms.
"Hey, hey, it's okay," Natalie tried to soothe him, though he glanced over her shoulder at the exit, then around the room as her words sank in and he met her eyes- just for a moment, before he paused and gave her a second glance. "Natalie?" He rubbed at his eyes. "Sorry, everything was a bit blurry for a second there..."
The momentary expression of relief that settled over her was shattered when the door was suddenly shoved open, knocking Natalie forward and toward Elias, and then everyone began screaming at each other, all at the same time.
The poor Nurse let out a shriek of terror as Morsh pulled the hapless woman sprawling back out of the doorway by her fabric collar, legs and hands in the air as she slid.
Natalie tried to shield Elias's crouched form while finally cutting through everyone else's screaming with a simple command: 'Get out!' Elias was trying to push past her, but she couldn't let him run, she'd just found him! Then Morsh tried to step through the door, saying something about how an alert had gone off. Elias had half blocked her off with his body and gotten into some semblance of a fighting stance, and was now trying to protect Natalie from her own bodyguard. Each of them was blundering through trying to protect each other, but the chaos of the situation ensured that none succeeded at anything but getting in each other's way.
"Get OUT!" Natalie roared again. Morsh knew when to pick her battles, and when to follow orders, and slammed the door shut so hard it hurt her ears. Angry voices on the other side went back and forth, but Natalie pushed herself against the frame, even as the newly-conscious Elias gathered himself up and met her eyes.
All Chapters of Alien-Nation
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Author's Notes:
Also, good news. My father's made it through his surgery! A lot of stress taken off. He is in good health, and good spirits. Editor is progressing through what is occupying him. I would like to thank Guardsman Miku and Tumbleman for their efforts in helping with the editing.
Archive Of Our Own contains the latest version of Alien-Nation with a lot of added scenes, flow improvements, and so on. (You can also download the story as an ePub for reading on your personal device, if you feel like doing so, though I recommend waiting until Book One is truly finished.)
Link to Archive Version here:

The war is over! I'm sure the characters are exhilarated. I'm not unhappy about it, but I get the feeling that JF would have dragged the war years along longer (I can't be sure of this, but he did seem to thrive, writing during this era) if those scenes at the front weren't so darned expensive to shoot.
So, lots of things change. Downton is back to being a regular house (well, as regular as a house of that size can be anyway), and Mrs Bates is dead, but lots of things remain the same, like Robert's dislike of Richard (running off to the village to meet with Jarvis to avoid seeing him), and Cora's sudden cruelty crusade.
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I get that JF wanted to give us a taste of how the upper classes *actually* were like back in the day, but it is quite jarring when it happens. So far on the show Cora has been largely like what any woman of her social class would be, if a bit nicer in general. I did forget just how much she herself grows and mellows as the years pass, they all do become much kinder.
Anyway, for now, she wants Robert to get rid of Bates because his wife killed herself, and she wants to get rid of "lame" Matthew too.
Cora: Robert! I want him to learn to be as independent as he can, and I want Mary to get on with her life. What’s wrong with that?
So, in the previous episode, Cora lied to Lavinia to make her think Matthew needed her, to get her back to Downton, Carlisle manhandled Mary, and basically told her to fall in line, let Matthew be Lavinia's business, or else, and yet it seems neither plan worked, at least not to perfection, because apparently putting obligations in the way between two people who love each other doesn't mean the love goes away. Who would have thought.
Robert asking Cora if there's something about Matthew and Mary that she's not telling him about is quite, quite significant.
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He doesn't understand what's going on. He thought Mary's love now was one sided. he thought, once Lavinia was back, things would sort themselves out, Mary would focus on Richard, as much as he hated him, and yet there Matthew and Mary were, still orbiting around each other.
What he doesn't know of course, is that Mary didn't refuse Matthew because she didn't love him. She refused him because in spite of the fact that both their families wanted the match, and the fact that since her reputation was ruined in London it would be hard for her to ever find as good a match as that, she was too much of a coward to admit the story about Pamuk. She loved him too much to lie. So she let herself suffer in silence for two years after Matthew left, and then it was all brought inevitably back to the surface after he came back.
And from Matthew's end, he had his feelings well locked away when he and Lavinia came to Downton. But of course, that's not sustainable. The more time he spent with Mary the more they came to the surface, so it was impossible for him NOT to want to spend time with Mary, even though he was engaged to Lavinia.
So Robert was having trouble, seeing all that but knowing 1/10th of the story.
Robert: If thinking that trying to protect Mary with a ring of steel is silly, then, yes, I am very silly.
My good man. Finally. For all he says he doesn't understand, he at least KNOWS. He knows that binding Mary, his very independent eldest daughter, in a marriage of convenience from which she won't be able to escape, to "protect" her from feelings beyond her control, is silly (let's be honest Robert, it's beyond silly, it's fucking horrible.)
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This asshole. He does make me want to quote Milton's Paradise Lost:
"Better to reign in Hell, than to serve in Heaven" Sounds like Carlisle.
Like the sweet talking devil that he is, he tries to lure Anna in the same way he tried to lure Carson: through her love and devotion to Mary. He pretends to want her to spy on Mary, for Mary's sake. Because he wants to make Mary happy.
Thank God, Anna is way smarter than that. And sees straight through him and his bullshit. I also like how she resembles Mary here: Carlisle asks her not to mention her conversation to Mary. Anna doesn't want to make an enemy out of him. But she also doesn't want to leave Mary in ignorance. So she doesn't tell Mary, but she tells Carson.
Perfect character work, honestly.
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Mary: Have you seen the boys’ haircuts the women are wearing in Paris?
Matthew: I hope you won’t try that.
Mary: I might.
I *love* this scene.
First of all, Matthew, well done giving yourself away, now we all know you have a thing for Mary's hair.
Second of all, Matthew, FFS 😭
He says it SO flirtatiously. His fiancée is right there. Her fiancé is right there. He's forgotten himself. He grew so used to their usual rapport, all this time spending their days together because he was injured he FORGOT that actually, he's not free to show his appreciation for her.
Also, look at Mary. She's surprised. And slightly pissed off.
First of all, he brings her into an awkward situation. Carlisle has already tried to force her to his will, she doesn't know how he might react to Matthew being so openly appreciative of her. Or so confident in giving her directions with such abandon, when Carlisle had to literally push her against a wall to make her see his way.
Second of all, honestly, how dare he show appreciation now. When she lowered herself so far down she offered to be his nurse TWICE only for him to reject her.
But she's Mary Crawley, and she loves this idiot. So she doesn't react badly. She takes it all in, and just says she might try it. And if they hadn't figured themselves out she'd have shaved her head just to piss him off (kidding. But she'd have definitely cut her hair).
Speaking of third parties present for this moment:
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Lavinia: I’m not sure how feminine it is.
Mary: I’m not sure how feminine I am.
Richard: Very, I’m glad to say.
Note: I added Violet's reaction because this is where she starts to understand things are more serious than she thought. Yes, Mary is going ahead with her engagement with Carlisle, but her reaction here is serious. God knows Mary has a sharp tongue, the fact that she didn't lash out and put Matthew in his place for this comment? Not even an ever so slight "well it's my hair, my business"?? Very serious.
Also, I *love* Mary's response to Lavinia's comment.
The poor girl tried to salvage the situation for Matthew. Making it seem like it was up for grabs to make comments about the haircut in relation to Mary. But Mary's "I'm not sure how feminine I am" is exquisite. Because first of all, it's a very slight show of vulnerability. Every woman has questioned that. We're judged for our femininity from the moment we're born, and so has Lady Mary Crawley. But she's a confident woman who isn't afraid of saying this openly.
And also, in her case, it's largely true. Because if we look at what was considered Feminine, for the time, it wasn't Mary. Mary was not the Angel in the Home. She was not a docile creature with no thoughts and no opinions, there to serve her Mastehusband and bear him children and not speak a peep. Mary looked at that and said yeah, no thanks, that's not me, that will never be me, let that image perish. She made her own version of womanhood and she made it fit her size and she was proud of it, as she should have been. Even if that made her very male-coded for the time.
Richard's response is ignorant and stupid and superficial, and the only reason I added it was to show the difference between Matthew's gentle, flirtatious comment, Lavinia's kindness, Mary's thoughtful and intelligent response, and Richard's callous and authoritative manner, thinking he can decide for Mary who she is.
Omg he can fuck right off, when is he out I can't stand writing about him anymore.
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Dear Carson describing his paternal love for Mary simply to tell Mrs Hughes that she doesn't know her, not like he does, but not judging her for not knowing Mary well enough to understand her, or why Carson is so devoted to her. Mary certainly never judged anyone for buying the mask she wore in front of the world at large.
Speaking of devotion:
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Mary: Well, I wish she'd come to me first. So, you mean you'd be uncomfortable working for a spymaster? How disappointing of you. And I always thought you were fond of me.
Mary is hurt, deeply by this. For so many reasons.
First of all, like I said in the previous episode, it had been a shock to her that Carson would uproot his life for her sake. She knows him as well as he knows her, and she knows how much Downton means to him. And while her mother pushed her to Carlisle for the family's sake, and her father closed his eyes and ears to all happening around him, the fact that there was ONE parental figure who'd show such care for her had moved her deeply, and had given her strength.
From what she says to him "We'd educate him together" she must have had conversations with Carson over what to do with Richard. Mary did not go into that marriage with her eyes closed. She hoped that as much as Richard thought he'd tie her up with his male superiority, she'd be able to bend things around him via societal rules and regulations. Smart woman.
But now Carson was leaving her. Not only that, he was leaving her KNOWING he was leaving her to deal with this horrible, horrible man by herself. Just like the rest of her family did.
And Mary wasn't an idiot. She grew up in aristocratic circles. She must have known, must have seen before, what bad marriages did to women. So she's so afraid. And so hurt. And so bereft. And of course, she dismisses Carson, and says "and I always thought you were fond of me" because to Mary, if you love someone, you don't abandon them when they need you the most. She didn't abandon Matthew. She didn't abandon Sybil. Or Tom. So clearly, this wasn't love.
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The way she looks at Richard. With so much resentment. But she knows this is a situation she created, largely. Although, the fact that she did it mostly for her family's sake kills me.
Something I hadn't remembered: Mary didn't say that "Butlers will be two a penny" line in front of Carson.
https://preview.redd.it/dduty5b2nmyc1.jpg?width=1182&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a60736672bd1a52e436a1ef5426d0f5ba0382ad5
We all know that Carson didn't "abandon" Mary. Not really. I think, because this was still early years, I think he thought that by telling her the truth of her intended, she'd be persuaded to break it off with him. He hoped she'd at least question Richard over his tactics to get her so very trapped under his thumb. But poor Carson doesn't know WHY Mary is with Richard. And that of course, she wouldn't question his tactics. She's well aware of them. All she could do here was to protect herself by lying. By trying not to let Richard know just how desperate she is.
Carson tries to get the same idea across by speaking to Robert. I think, again, he's trying to change the course of Mary's life, somehow, but I don't think he's aware how relactant Robert is in interfering with Mary's plans. Although God knows why.
Carson: *going on about how awful Richard is and that he wouldn't leave Downton to work for him*
Robert: I'll take that as a compliment for myself and for my house.
Yeah, sure. Completely ignore the fact that your daughter's future husband is an absolute asshole.
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She's so happy about Matthew, she doesn't even care her own life is an absolute mess. Violet cares more about Mary's life than she herself does.
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Look at Cora's face when Matthew announces he wants to marry Lavinia at Downton and Cora watches as Robert agrees readily and Mary just about dies.
Oh sure, now you realise what you've done. You fucking idiot.
I cannot deal with Mary here. She was so happy for Matthew, that he'd get the life he deserved. But to her, here, he's chosen Lavinia over her. Twice now.
Because he accepted Lavinia's offer of caring for him, when he refused Mary's offer. Twice. And if she thought that before, he was doing it because he couldn't walk again, now she thinks it's because he simply loves Lavinia more than he loves her. Because she couldn't have been more obvious in her love for him, and she knows it.
And so she sits there, after being told by her second father that he's abandoned her because her future husband is a piece of shit, to watch the love of her life pick another woman over her.
Someone take the TV away from me because I'm about to throw it at the wall.
By the way, we see Robert place Matthew's needs ahead of Mary's for the millionth time, by agreeing to have Matthew's wedding at Downton. For all her flaws, Cora at least did what she THOUGHT was best for Mary, as misguided as that was. Robert simply places Mary's need second to Matthew's, and he does it without a second thought.
I don't want to hate him, so I'm hoping, HOPING, he does it because he hopes this might give Mary more time to break it off with Richard. I'm sincerely hoping that's the case, otherwise Robert is up for Worst Father of the Year award.
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Mary is done with everyone's bullshit, including her own.
"Aren't all of us stuck with the choices we make?" I don't know who I hope was in the receiving end of that cold, cold look from her. I'm torn between Cora and Matthew.
Mary blames herself, of course, for the situation she's found herself in. And as far as Matthew and Richard are concerned, that's largely true. Even if it was things outside of her control that led her to make said choices, she made them. And maybe she did it for the family name, and for herself, since she was so afraid of her secret, and for Matthew, largely, but she made them. And this is the kind of cruel woman she would become if things evolved the way they were going.
Because yes, we're all stuck with the choices we make. But we can't ignore the reasons that lead us to make said choices. And we should leave some space in our hearts to be kind to others, and to ourselves. And that's true for Ethel, and for you, Mary dear. Don't beat yourself up so harshly, you don't deserve it either.
It's time. Violet has had enough of everyone's bullshit.
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I love his shock at the words "Mary is STILL in love with you"
He certainly hadn't missed the fact that she loved him now. Nobody's that devoted to a person they don't love. But I think this is the moment he finally learns she's always loved him. Poor boy.
I also love his response, because he makes it obvious that this is NOT the first time he's considered any of this.
Matthew: Lavinia came back against my orders, determined to look after me for the rest of my life, which meant that she would wash me and f--feed me and...do things that only the most dedicated nurse would undertake, and all with no hope of children or any improvement. [...] Do you think it would be right for me to throw her over because I can walk? To dismiss her because I no longer have need of her services?
First of all, it becomes clear that he doesn't know of Cora and Richard's involvement in Lavinia's return. Lavinia didn't come back "against his orders". Lavinia came back because Cora's letter made her believe Matthew would welcome her return.
Second of all, he says "Do you think it would be right for me to throw her over because I can walk?"
This tells us another thing: Matthew did not take Lavinia back because he was unaware of his, or Mary's feelings. He was perfectly aware of them. He simply hadn't wanted to bind Mary to him when he thought she could find a better life elsewhere. He loved her too much. He allowed Lavinia back in his life, and now the only thing, the one thing that kept him bound to her was not his feelings, but his duty.
Richard is largely responsible for this. Because he brought Lavinia back for his sake. Mary and Matthew are largely responsible for this, because they let their obligations and duties to other rank higher than their duties to themselves and to each other.
It takes two to tango, and it takes four to ruin two relationships. Mary and Matthew had been stupid, yes. But they did their best with a difficult situation, and they were largely duty bound more to societal rules than to themselves and to each other. Lavinia WAS an innocent victim of circumstance, although she would have saved herself had she been allowed to leave, and Richard was a knowing bringer of misery so, fuck him, honestly.
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I do love Matthew's face when Violet says he "spoke like a man of honour" a face that screams "fuck my honour" if I've ever seen one.
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Mary thinking of a honeymoon with Carlisle and dissociating. Regardless of anything else, I'm so, so glad she wasn't stuck with him. Not for longer than this stupid engagement anyway. I think she'd have managed it, somehow. She a very strong person. But it would have been a difficult life. Love brings out the best in people, and it's no wonder she was at her best when there was so much love in her life.
She also finally questions Carlisle about his spy plan. I love that she made sure to protect Anna, when he asks "She told you, did she?" she clarifies that "she told someone else" and she protects Carson too.
Also, genius:
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Carlisle: Are you still in love with Matthew Crawley?
Mary: Of course not! Would I ever admit to loving a man who preferred someone else over me?
Such a devious asshole. She denies loving Matthew, and then says she'd never admit to loving someone who picked someone else over her.
Essentially, she's telling the truth. Although, the fact that she thinks he picked Lavinia because he no longer loved hedidn't love her enough, makes my heart hurt. She always thinks she's overruled in the affections of the people in her life by someone/something else.
Robert picks Matthew over her. Carson picks his honour over her. Matthew picks Lavinia over her.
In the end, the last one especially, is not true. And not only because Matthew DID love Mary more, but also because, in the end, regardless of whether or not Lavinia got sick, he would pick Mary over his honour. He DID pick Mary over his honour. Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself but I need something to hold on to when people are being so stupid right now.
I love that in all this mess, she STILL thinks of Sybil.
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While all this happens in Mary's life, Sybil is eloping with Tom. She'd said she had a headache and Mary, devoted sister that she is, finds out because she went to her room to wish her goodnight.
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I also love that it was Mary *and* Edith that went after Sybil. I know Mary needed someone to drive the car, but some Crawley girls solidarity is so nice to see. If only JF had realised that a healthy relationship between the sisters was much more enjoyable than them being at each others throats 😒
Mary "of course Mama and Papa will hate it"
Tom "Why should they"
Mary "Oh, pipe down"
She's hilarious. She doesn't dismiss them, but she dismisses their stupidity in running away, and Tom's refusal of reality, in this instance. But she treats him So Well.
She's honest, that she'll try to change Sybil's mind. But she also shows him respect. When he says he'll return the car in the morning she accepts it, she offers him money, out of consideration, but when he refuses it she respects him and moves on. God knows she is exceptional in her manners, and in considering others, when she wants to be. Clearly her sister saw something in this man, and Mary will treat him with the respect he deserves, not only as just another human being, but as her sister's choice, which will become more apparent as Tom and Sybil's relationship progresses.
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Also, sorry, Isobel, you can't put Mary's charm in the barrel for the village children. To think, he thought he could give her up, when he couldn't even give up her childhood toy, the one she gave him so he could have a piece of home when he was at the front. Presumably, like Isobel said, he was home now, but he wasn't really, because Mary is his home, like he is hers.
And on that positive note, see you next week for the 2.8. Yet another pain-fest!

Ep 27: Marry Your Trees
Recap Masterlist
Your girl's back for more vain hope of enjoyable McElnoise. Hope you all had a good Thanksgiving Christmas New Year's Eve Valentine's Day Easter eclipse May 3rd!
Yeah, so, uh... it's been a minute. I got distracted by a lot of excellent media, by my own writing endeavors, by my work schedule, by vacations, by the many slings and arrows of life, etc. And I just couldn't muster up the energy most days to even think about finishing Petals. But I really miss doing these, and I miss reading people's responses to 'em, so here I am again to blow this joint and move on to a certain kingdom of crystals, where hopefully my attention won't be led further astray.
You Boys Have One More Shot To Make This Arc Worthwhile

• Recap covers Garyl "dying", the one funny joke in the episode (Maarvey's corpse sliding off the wagon), Justin embiggening the motorcycle, and Merle hitting the button. Griffin's a coward for not including the bit where he had Hurley take out multiple enemies at once and then mocked the idea of rolling for it.
• Marzak
• Immediately after the button's been hit, the ram horns on the front of the wagon fold out and the tailpipes rattle, and the whole thing turns into a rocket-propelled arrow. And I must admit to some confusion right away, because we've established since Chapter Six that the big button is supposed to fire a giant harpoon, and that was what was going to catch them up to Sloan. A massive power boost has never been mentioned before. I've gone back over all my relevant recaps for this arc and I can't see a thing about it. Either this is a massive long-term mistake on my part, or we're in retcon town from the jump; we'll see whether the harpoon gets used later and decide. I will quietly sit here and go stir-crazy over it as we wait.
• Regardless, Hurley's wagon catches up to Sloan's winged hovercraft thing, as does Taako's motorcycle. Just in time, too, as the finish line -- and cliff -- are finally in sight! I'm counting my blessings Griff can't toss anything else in here to prolong it, barring Sloan earthbending more cliff into existence. Hurley and Sloan are both laughing maniacally as they grind up against each other (make your own jokes), both too caught up in the fun of the race at this point.
• Travis asks if anyone remembers why they even need to beat Sloan in the first place. This is a great question to hear from one of your players ten hours into your professionally recorded story arc. We're reminded that according to Hurley, beating Sloan in the race will cause her to immediately give up the Gaia Sash after realizing she's not all-powerful, which I would say still seems a little flimsy based on what little we've seen of Sloan's personality, but... feh. It's the least of Petals' problems.
• Unfortunately for them, Sloan's starting to pull ahead again! After we establish that it's still in jumping distance, Taako opts to stow his wand, throw the emergency brake on his giant bike, and pull out... the Wand of Switcheroo. Remember that? It's the wand he got from Fantasy Costco way back in the first shopping segment -- in Episode 9 -- that causes the target to switch places with him. Griffin is delighted that he remembered at all, and since he fucks up Sloan's Constitution saving throw (the first time he's actually had to roll for something Sloan does, natch), it works. Justin takes Sloan's place in the hover-canoe thing, while Sloan gets sent to the halting motorbike and falls rapidly behind.
• You know what? Big props to Griffin for allowing this deviation from a planned solution, even as he seems surprised and confused about how to proceed with the showdown. Let's just hope he doesn't give me reason to rescind the props.
• Griffin: "And that was enough. You, on this sleek battlewagon, are fired through the air like an arrow, through-" Travis: "I jump onto the canoe. I wanna win too." Oh, we know.
• Taako casts Gust of Wind to keep Magnus away, which turns this bit into a wonderful little playground argument as Travis, Justin, and even Clint start suggesting ridiculous back-and-forth blows to win the race. I'm not going to transcribe the whole thing because it's rather long, but it's so refreshing to actually perk up and laugh a little at something in this stretch of episodes.
• And with that... Taako crosses the finish line! Race is over! The great weights lift from my spirit! I know once again what it is to live and love!
• Wuh oh. He is still hurtling toward the cliff at top speed! Griffin explains that he can't find the brake in this battlewagon, and- oh, never mind. He was just doing a bit. Taako's good. Might have been room for some hijinks with a quick escape scene, but I'll let it ride just to get the fuck away from these vehicles.
• Time for what I think might be the first of Griffin's much-ballyhooed self-composed soundtrack! There's a whimsical, Zelda town-esque horn theme playing through Taako's victory celebration. Sounds pretty good.
• Hi it's me, Terthelt, ten seconds later. It is distractingly Zelda-y. I'll try to keep paying attention.
• Our heroes are so absorbed in congratulating Taako (and in Magnus' case, himself) for the win that they almost miss Sloan riding up on the bike, looking deathly ill at her loss. She clutches her chest as giant bolts of lightning erupt from her back, striking the ground and sprouting more of those damn vines as she goes. She drives straight off the cliff -- prompting Griffin to give Hurley an ear-piercing "SLOAN, NO!" -- but a giant gust of wind blows everyone back as they rush to check...
• And Sloan manifests a gigantic tornado a few feet from the cliff's edge, surrounded by thousands of ravens. It's almost like this plan to defeat her made no sense, y'all!
• Travis/Magnus: "I turn to Hurley, uh, s- let me do my voice, ahehehem: 'So uuuh, how's the whole beating her and she'll give us the sash thing going?" MY HERO.
• A despondent Hurley takes off her mask, to the collective gasps of the audience. Magnus follows and takes off his own mask, proudly announcing himself to far fewer gasps. Trav's on a roll this episode, it's been so long since my last listen that I almost forgot how much fun he can be when he plays along.
• Clint: "And I take my mask off and say, 'And I'm Bruce Wayne!'" Griffin: "O-okay. You all hear, uh, 'oh, okay, Mr. Wayne. Cool." Taako: "I'm actually a mongoose. Meow!"
• Hurley straps back into her car, seemingly intent on driving into the tornado to save Sloan, but Magnus hops on and preempts her heroic sacrifice, followed shortly by Taako ("No adventure would be complete without Weasel Man!"). Everyone shares a somber laugh, and then collectively stare awkwardly at Merle until he agrees to get in too.
• We quickly see the wagon's damage repaired, even as the mile-wide tornado is presumably bearing down on everyone, but then it's time for the showdown. At which point Griffin forgets the word "rev" and laboriously tries to describe how Hurley is holding the gas and the brake at the same time to make the cool noises like in the movies. Someone get our baby boy to a home, the fog is already taking him.
• The brake is released, and the car flies forward, straight off the cliff and into the massive birb vortex. Inside waits an enormous pillar of tangled vines, at the top of which waits a partially encased Sloan, fully overtaken by the Gaia Sash. Clint cuts through the drama to make a very lame Wizard of Oz reference, and is then bullied not for the lameness of it, but for daring to reference something so OLD and OBSCURE as THE WIZARD OF OZ.
• Dare I hope for a decent final boss battle here? There hasn't been a really entertaining bit of combat in Balance since Rockport, and even that was arguable compared to the heights of Gerblins. I'd like to remain optimistic, but given the vague bit I know about how this arc is going to wrap up, that's easier said than done.
• Hurley is now screaming in obvious delight at being sucked into a tornado, which feels a bit tone-deaf when she's staring down her horribly brainwashed (ostensible) lover. The four gab a bit about what to do, since she just drove off the cliff with no plan, before settling on using the harpoon to get in close. So I guess I was just wrong about where the harpoon was and what it was for. Nuts.
• Taako makes a ranged attack roll of 18 to blast the harpoon out, and it strikes true and digs in near the top of the vines without impaling the stricken lesbian. After a bit of reeling in, the wagon crashes down just under the platform, and everyone clambers up to confront Sloan. Griffin compares her current state to Gundren Rockseeker after he donned the fire gauntlet, and I'm just... struck, for a moment, at how long it's been since I listened to those episodes. Everything felt so much simpler then. In the podcast, and in my life... And if I'd stuck to my original schedule, I'd have finished all of Balance up long before now...

Terthelt Takes A Break To Eat A Mint Brownie At 11 PM On A Work Night

• Everyone's stuck for ideas, so Magnus asks Hurley what they should do, since she actually knows Sloan. Hurley sadly remarks that she might never have really known her, which is an odd thing to say about someone clearly brainwashed and out of her mind, but alright.
• Clint, beaming: "I cast ZONE OF TRUTH!"
• The madman actually does it. Faced with the ambient truth telling field, Magnus rolls a 12 (failure), Hurley a 17 (success, though I'd sooner shove Griffin in a Zone of Truth myself just to make sure), Taako an undisclosed failed number, and Sloan a 14 (failure). Merle immediately asks Sloan how they can defeat/save her, to which whatever's possessing Sloan (via Griffin's rumbling monster voice filter) yammers out a generic villain monologue about its power being absolute. Magnus: "What about the power of love?" Merle: "What about Jesus?" Taako: "What ABOUT Jesus? Where is that guy?' Magnus: "We haven't seen him in a dog day!" Merle: "We could really use some help right now!"
• Griffin suddenly cuts into the bit to ask the trio to make -- take a shot now -- Dexterity saving throws. Trav rolls 15, Justin 10, and Clint a pitiful 8. On cue, Sloan lashes out a vicious vine and knocks everyone down for 9 HP each -- a blow which Hurley obviously avoids gracefully, without a roll.
• At last, we're rolling initiative! Like this is some kind of D&D game or some shit.
• Taako's up first, but not before Sloan pulls back her vine and sprouts up a giant vine body to do battle. They banter for a bit about why they're standing on vines and how many boss fights in video games take place on floating vine arenas (I guess?); when his head's back in the game, Taako talks with Hurley and confirms that the gang didn't get the chance to rest after the race, so their options are mostly depleted. He casts a basic fireball on the plant colossus, destroying its head and setting it ablaze for a whopping 66 fire damage (33 doubled, since plants are unique among all other life for their hatred of being on fire). And that... might have been his last spell! Oh dear.
• Up next, Merle casts Prayer of Healing to heal the whole party. Nothing fancy, just a smart move he rolls well for.
• Magnus waffles for a minute on what he should do, but ends up making an attempt to pull the malevolent flora open and save Sloan manually. Griffin asks for a Sleight of Hand check just to get a handhold on the vines, and ever the tactical genius roller, Trav gets a 17 the moment Griffin says he needs to beat 15. He follows it up with a 26 (19+7) for Strength, even! AND that counts as a crit for him! I'm at the edge of my seat here, folks. He succeeds in ripping the vines apart and exposing Sloan, and then opts to roll a 23 (16+7) to punch her lights out. After all of that, all he succeeds in doing is making her bleed and laugh.
• The booming voice filter on Sloan is really taking me out of it. Not that I was super in to begin with, but it is mildly irritating whenever Griffin sees the need to do a grand evil cackle.
• Now it's Sloan's turn, and the vines immediately slam shut around Magnus, trapping him in the cavity with Sloan. Engulfed in pitch darkness, our stalwart hero manages to parry the next nebulously-described attack, but still takes 26 points of damage. Outside, the colossus regrows its head and summons a rain cloud to put the fire out, before taking a big spiky swing at Merle and Taako for 18 damage each. Justin says "hachi machi" for the second time this episode. You know, I've always seen people quote that when Justin's knee deep in drama, but I guess I happened to never listen to any MBMBAMs where he does it. This is an astoundingly pointless observation because I can't think of anything more interesting to say about the plant monster, and Clint already beat me to an Audrey II joke.
• Hurley's turn! What shenanigans will the DMPC grace us with this time? She hops right off the edge of the arena (to audible confusion), but floats back up holding the battlewagon's arcane core, and -- with another signature annoying Hurley one-liner ("Ready to do some pruning?") -- smashes it on the ground in front of Taako. From it emerge a swarm of glowing blue flecks, which Taako's staff turns inside out to swallow up, filling him with a surge of never-before-seen power; practically, this just means his spell slots are all filled up again. Sure, alright. It sounds like something that breaks some rule or another, but it gets Taako back in the game, and I'm just grateful she didn't do a flying meteor dropkick into a reverse German suplex for 800 unrolled damage and a free ice cream.
• On cue, Taako's turn. Justin jokes about casting Zone of Truth on himself to guarantee his cries of victory will come true, but decides to just throw out another fireball. He gets a good roll total at 32 (multiplied into 64 damage), only for Griffin to play cute with his description of how powerful Taako feels, urging him to keep rolling D6s as the fireball gets bigger and bigger. Our bewildered wizard proceeds to roll another dozen times and ends up with a combined total of 160 damage when Griffin finally tells him he can stop, gleefully describing what amounts to the sun itself manifesting from Taako's staff and blasting down upon the colossus.
• Yeah, I don't know. It's a cool moment, I guess. It was just handed to Justin on a silver platter without him having to think of anything or make use of his mechanics, but it's narrated colorfully enough. Probably I'm just being a curmudgeon about combat again.
• The sun explosion scorches away almost every vine, exposing Sloan (and Magnus, hi Magnus) before she immediately gets back to it. This time she summons a barrier of black-and-white thorned vines, which Hurley identifies as an infamous plant both venomous and cursed. Hurley urgently calls a huddle at the edge of the platform, gives the gang a big hug, and... blasts them off the arena, activating their safety harnesses. This- this can't be the end of the fight, right? They didn't even finish a second turn! Taako is the only PC who got to move twice!
• As our heroes watch helplessly, Hurley glows with a brilliant white light and charges into the brambles, beautifully radiating the light through the entire vine arena and the tornado itself before the trio black out. And that would seem to be the end of her(ley).
• So... yeah. I guess that's it? I knew a big heroic sacrifice was incoming, but I expected to have... any buildup or impact whatsoever, for how much it gets talked about. I expect I'll have more to say about this in a minute, but I'll let it ride for now.
• Travis: "We did it! And not a life was lost! No cost to ourselves!" Justin: "Another W for the good guys!" Travis: "We're gonna get a plaque for this one for SURE." Clint: "Yay us!"
• Once they're all done commiserating their grief, Griff brings the trio back to consciousness in a pool of water in the Goldcliff city center. Also in the pool is Sloan, now rejuvenated, cradling the sickly Hurley as infection visibly travels up her body. Alright, so at least there's more to it before they get sent off. I truly expected it to just fade back on the two dead.
• Hurley weakly moaning "You're in troublllle!" as the Militia sirens get closer is kind of cute, tbh.
• Sloan/Griffin/Hurley/this dialogue format was a mistake: "'This whole time, I was looking for something more powerful than this FUCKING belt.' Um, and she looks down at Hurley, and she says, 'I'm such a fool.' And Hurley says, 'Yeah.'" Taako: "Don't you have any healing magics? You're a cleric for crying out loud!" Merle: "Me?" Sloan: "The venom of the silverpoint...................... There's nothing to be done." Justin?/Taako?: "Horseshit!"
• Sloan makes a whispered agreement with the dying Hurley, and implores the party to never let something like this happen again with the other artifacts. With that, and another dramatic musical sting, the duo... explode into cherry blossoms and sprout into a giant tree, leaving only vague suggestions of their figures gnarled into the base, and the Gaia Sash resting alongside their racing masks.
• BRB shaking and crying
• ;--;
• Listened to Scissor Sisters' "I Can't Decide" on repeated loop at 1.5x speed, I think I'm all better now
• Griffin Dougie McElroy, you've done it again. You've played with my heartstrings and sent off a legendary heroine with the kind of panache Hollywood wishes they had. I'm going to adopt a ram in Hurley's memory.
• Ahem. With all of that settled, and with the ad break music fading in, Magnus and Taako glance over the tree and elbow each other a little over who's going to pick up the sash. Justin/Taako: "I notice Magnus reaching for Railsplitter and I say, 'Don't even think about it.'"

Ad Break, In Which I Digress On Gay Characters And The Burying Thereof
So. Yes. The lesbians turned into trees. As I said at the top of the arc, I did know this moment would happen in vague terms, I just had no idea what the context or execution would be. This moment stirred up a good bit of controversy over the subject of "Bury Your Gays", probably amplified in specificity by the 2015-2016 controversy over dead lesbians in various recent TV shows, and even now it's still debated whether killing Hurley and Sloan off this way was a good decision.
Bury Your Gays is a real thing, and it is still a broad issue, even as the landscape for representation has gotten much wider since 2015. Major rep is more important than ever, and will be until we no longer face such intense and constant extermination efforts. That said, it's a term best applied to trends, not universally applicable to every time a character on the LGBTQ+ spectrum is killed off or otherwise sent away. Imagine how fucking dull stories with diverse casts would be if queer characters were invincible. I love writing and experiencing diverse stories; I also love writing and experiencing things dark and full of violence and death. Some crossover is to be expected. What matters is that the death in question suits the story and the character, and doesn't feel malicious or denigrating.
To that end, is Hurley and Sloan's treensformation a case of Bury Your Gays? I wouldn't say so, even putting it in context of late 2015 (where there were already way, way, WAY better choices for sapphic rep than a D&D podcast by three cishet guys). Griffin definitely thought this would be a beautiful and poignant sendoff, and contorted the whole arc to build up to it. To the extent that Hurley and Sloan are characters at all, it fits them just fine. I can see a version of it that even rings home emotionally. Fang and Vanille's ending in Final Fantasy XIII -- which I would wager is what Griffin pulled this scene from -- is both more resonant and way more problematic.
My problem with Hurley and Sloan's sendoff is that they weren't a thing. There's hardly a gay relationship here to get upset about ending. Even with my thickest sapphic shipper goggles on, outside of the very first time Hurley talked about Sloan (where there were some innuendos that went right over everyone's heads), almost nothing about the two indicates that they're more than friends. They barely interact before the big pseudo-romantic death scene. Again, even in late 2015 -- mere months after the legalization of gay marriage -- there was substantially better on offer across various mediums. Seeing Hurley and Sloan held up as trailblazers of Real Lesbian Rep rings even falser now that I've seen their story. I feel nothing for these characters.
If Hurley and Sloan meant a lot to you at the time, and if you were invested enough in them to feel hurt by how Griffin sent them off, I don't say this to demean you. I would be genuinely curious to hear your takes. But I went in with low expectations to meet, and I'd be lying if I didn't call this whole thing unreasonably thin gruel for the hype.
Ad Break Finite

• Oh right, this is a D&D podcast I'm writing about.
• As we fade back in, Taako approaches the Gaia Sash, only for the evil voice from earlier (without the filter, so it's just Griff's scratchy little guy voice) to appear in his head with promises of unimaginable power. Taako's into it, but does his good boy job and resists its influence, only to be met with a critical fail roll of 9! And thus is Goldcliff menaced forevermore by the elemental sorcerer-king known only as The Mongoose -- nah, just as he's sliding the sash around his body, Hurley and Sloan's voices pop in and bid him-
• WAIT THEY'RE STILL ALIVE IN THAT TREE? THEY'RE NOT GHOSTS OR FUSED OR ANYTHING, THEY SOUND TOTALLY LUCID AND FINE. THAT WHOLE DIGRESSION WAS FUCKING POINTLESS
• Hurley and Sloan's voices pop in and bid him to be stronger, allowing him another roll with advantage. This time he rolls even worse with a 3. Before Griffin can conjure up a third lesbian in an icicle to cheer him on harder, Magnus rolls 22 to punch Taako in the head and Merle also rolls 22 to steal the sash off his body. Just one more in a long string of consequence negation, but I'll allow it on the basis that it's really funny and I'm taking anything to laugh at in this arc like a drowning woman clinging to chunks of driftwood.
• Gaia Sash: "Oh, a- a nature cleric?! I should've come to you first! Come on man, put me on!" Merle: "Nobody ever thinks of Merle..." Gaia Sash: "There's no vine you'll never be able to not fuck! I'll give you sexual conquest over anything, whether you wanna fuck an onion, or..." Everyone: [laughter] Griffin: "But you've beaten this thing in a- a test of wisdom." Merle: "I don't need your help, pal!" Griffin, gut punched: "Fuckin' an onion?!" Merle: "To have sex with an onion!" If nothing else, I'm glad this arc managed a perfect bookending brick joke.
• With his dominance over nature confirmed, Merle drops the Gaia Sash into his fanny pack and zips it up. Hurley and Sloan congratulate them on solving the problem, and just as the Militia surround the pool, Captain Bane (remember when I thought he was going to be the villain?) shows up and defuses the situation. We cut to Bane's office, where he asks for a rundown of the story and what happened to Hurley (Taako: "Tree now."), as well as inquiring how they've resisted three of these artifacts (they just did).
• With that done and several terrible tree puns made, Bane makes a toast to Hurley, urging the trio to drink with him. Aggressively urging. We only have like six minutes left in this arc, but holy shit, is there still time for my guess -- based entirely on this ridiculously minor character's name -- to be right?
• The gang see through it immediately and Taako casts Charm Person, but while he fails against Bane's 19 roll, it's enough for him to sense that Bane is already being mind controlled. He abruptly glows red(?) and stands up, smashing Merle and Taako's glasses and chugging Magnus', immediately dropping dead as the same silverpoint vine poison that did Hurley in takes effect. Behind him manifests another humanoid figure -- one whose features are completely hidden by a bright red robe. Magnus tries to beat the shit out of it, but it's completely incorporeal. I've been waiting on these guys to show up! All I know is that they're the main antagonistic force, and I think I remember some vague osmosed things to do with Stolen Century, but it's been long enough since I absorbed any discussion that it's all hazy. Excited to see if they're worth a damn.
• In a booming, echoey whisper, the red-robed figure asks repeatedly, "ARE YOU AFRAID?" The trio only have banter and piss-taking in response, up until it extends its arm and holographically projects a series of faces: Gundren Rockseeker, Magic Brian, Jenkins (god how I miss you Jenkins), Sloan, and Bane. It rambles a bit about the true nature of man, and we get our first namedrop of the Hunger being the all-consuming threat (that, as I've said before, I do know about) before vanishing. Everyone small-talks for a solid minute about how spooky it was.
• Taako: "Guys, I think- I think- if I was getting the right message from that, I think we're gonna need to turn our attention to one VERY important question... Do you think there was any prize money for the race, is that something we need to check back in on?"
• Griffin obliges and reveals that Bane had two hitherto-unmentioned briefcases on his desk, labeled 1 and 2, respectively nabbed up by Taako and Merle. Inside, respectively: 3,000 and 1,500 gold pieces! Taako decides to split it three ways for 1,500 gold apiece, which is fair, but so unlike the boot-stealing, silverware-hoarding maniac I fell in love with in arcs prior. Character development?
• Magnus loots Bane's body and takes his badge, and Merle obtains a little black vial of silverpoint poison. And then... the small talk about the Red Robe plays again? The fuck? The entire last three minutes of audio just loops as the progress bar continues, before resuming as normal for the actual end of the episode. I had to check the transcript to make sure I didn't miss anything in that time. Guess the official MaxFun upload just broke in a weird and specific way.
• Speaking of MaxFun, Justin rings us out by celebrating the season's completion and taking jabs at the idea of Kickstarter and Patreon. Make of that finely-aged milk what you will, dear jerkers. I got nothin'. I'm tired. That's all she wrote.

Post-Episode
Mostly about as boring as the past few episodes. I've already said my piece on Sloan and Hurley writ large, but the fight to get to the infamous moment was both mid and ridiculously short (I know, I know: "the food here is terrible, and such small portions"). Miraculously, though, things did pick up significantly in the last ten minutes of the episode. The trio seemed reinvigorated on the banter and improv front once the tree scene was done, and there was more to make me smile and chuckle in that home stretch than in pretty much the whole arc. I even liked the Bane / Red Robe scene as an ominous story beat! It's weird to end a Petals episode feeling generally positive!
Petals to the Metal, In Review
I think the fact that I took a full year to slog through the arc, nearly half of that just being procrastination on the final episode, speaks more to my opinion of Petals than anything scathing I could write.
The tower climb, the heist, the race, the showdown... every individual chunk of this storyline was an endurance test. Griffin really let out the worst of his DMing tendencies here, between the railroading, the fake rolls or complete absence of rolls, the ceaseless rimming of his own special characters to the minimization of the players, etc. And through it all, there were so precious few jokes and bits that actually landed for me.
I thought Rockport had a few serious issues, but it was sterling compared to this mess. All I can really admire about it is the ambition and the fact that the guys all sounded like they were having a good time for most of it.
Comedy Ranking: Rockport > Gerblins > Moonlighting > Petals
Quality Ranking: Gerblins > Rockport > Petals > Moonlighting
Here's to Crystal Kingdom being at least a change of pace, even if from what I hear, it'll be a lot more serious. And here's to me not taking another six months to do the next episode, however busy I am.

Aiden Korr - Character Sheet
General Information:

• Name: Aiden Korr • Age: 45 years old • Occupation: Former mercenary, newly chosen by The Dark God • Allegiance: Initially a lone operative, now aligned with the forces of The Dark God 

Physical Description:

• Height: 6’2” • Build: Athletic and rugged, with a physique honed by years of combat and survival in harsh environments • Hair: Dark, starting to show strands of grey, often kept short or slightly unkempt • Eyes: Intense, with a newfound gleam reflective of his recent blessing; capable of seeing beyond the mortal realm • Distinguishing Features: Scars crisscrossing his body, each a testament to past battles; a piercing gaze that seems to look through one’s very soul 

Attributes:

• Strength: Exceptionally strong, further enhanced by dark blessings • Agility: Highly agile, capable of dodging bullets and engaging in advanced combat maneuvers • Endurance: Remarkable stamina and resilience, able to sustain injuries that would incapacitate others • Intelligence: Cunning and resourceful, with a knack for strategy and adaptation • Willpower: Iron-willed, unyielding in the face of adversity 

Skills:

• Combat Proficiency: Expert in hand-to-hand combat, proficient with various weapons, including the Dark Knife and other enchanted armaments • Tactical Acumen: Skilled in tactics and strategy, both in assassination and battlefield scenarios • Survival: Highly skilled in survival techniques, able to endure hostile environments and situations • Stealth: Master of stealth and infiltration, able to move unseen and unheard • Dark Powers: Newly imbued abilities from The Dark God, specifics of powers are evolving and include enhanced perception across dimensions 

Equipment:

• Dark Knife: A weapon capable of cutting through almost anything, never dulls nor tarnishes • Armor: Previously utilized advanced cybernetic enhancements, now stripped and potentially replaced with dark artifacts or blessings enhancing defense and utility • Miscellaneous Gear: Various tools and devices accumulated over years as a mercenary, now likely infused or replaced with items of dark origin 

Background:

• Aiden’s past is shrouded in mystery and darkness, with a history of engagements across the galaxy that honed his skills as a formidable mercenary. • After a life-changing encounter and being newly blessed by The Dark God, Aiden stands at a crossroads between his past and a future filled with unknown potential and power. • His alignment with The Dark God and interaction with the Dark Lords suggests a pivotal role in upcoming cosmic events. 

Personality:

• Stoic and reserved, Aiden speaks more through actions than words. • Battle-hardened, yet possesses a sense of morality that guides his actions. • Adaptable, with a readiness to embrace his new destiny under the guidance of The Dark God. 

Current Status:Unknown.
Character Sheet: Slumber
Name: Slumber (Given name unknown) North continent Rank #2 Born: 1993 Current Year: 2223Age: 230 (Achieved through advanced cybernetic enhancements and life-extension technologies)
Background:Slumber was born into a world on the brink of technological revolution. Showing exceptional intelligence and physical aptitude from a young age, he was taken by a covert government agency and transformed into a cyborg operative. Over the centuries, he became a legend in the shadowy realms of espionage and military operations, known for his unparalleled skills and cybernetic enhancements.
Physical Description:Slumber’s appearance is a blend of human and machine. His body is heavily augmented with cybernetic enhancements, giving him superhuman strength, speed, and resilience. His skin is partially synthetic, capable of rapid healing. His eyes have been replaced with advanced optical implants, glowing slightly when activated. He is mostly synthetic muscle and metal, with a muscular build and a presence that commands attention.
Personality:Slumber is a complex character, shaped by centuries of conflict and survival. He is stoic, often appearing detached or cold, but this masks a deep sense of loyalty and protection towards those he cares about. His long life has made him wise and reflective, often contemplating the nature of humanity and the impact of technology on society.
Abilities:

• Superhuman Physical Capabilities: Enhanced strength, speed, durability, and reflexes. • Advanced Cybernetic Enhancements: Including neural implants for heightened sensory perception, rapid cognitive processing, and direct interface with computer systems. • Tactical Genius: Decades of experience in various forms of combat and strategy, making him an unparalleled soldier and tactician. • Stealth and Espionage Expert: Skilled in infiltration, surveillance, and information warfare. • Regenerative Healing: His synthetic skin and underlying repair systems allow for rapid recovery from injuries. 

Weaknesses:

• Cybernetic Dependence: Relies on regular maintenance and upgrades to keep his systems running optimally, vulnerable to EMP attacks and hacking. • Isolation: His extended lifespan and nature of his work have led to a sense of isolation from the rest of humanity. • Protectiveness: His family is his Achilles’ heel; threats to them can drive him to take extreme risks. 

Allies:

• The General: A high-ranking military official who respects Slumber’s capabilities and shares a professional bond with him. • Various Contacts: Over the years, Slumber has built a network of allies and contacts across different sectors, including the underground, military, and intelligence communities. 

Enemies:A wide array of adversaries ranging from rival cyborgs, criminal syndicates, and rogue governments to ancient spell casters and entities threatened by his existence.
Equipment:

• Customized Weapons: Including A wrist mounted .50 cal that can interface with his cybernetic systems for enhanced targeting. A heavy minigun shooting armor piercing rounds. • Combat Gear: Armor that provides great protection against most firearms the only current caliber that does any real damage is .55 cal • Utility Tools: A variety of gadgets and tools for hacking, surveillance, and emergency medical treatment. 

Goals:

• Protect his family and those under his care from the myriad dangers of his world. • Navigate the complex web of alliances and enmities that define the shadowy underbelly of global politics. • Find a balance between his cybernetic enhancements and retaining his humanity. 

Notable Achievements:

• Survived centuries of conflict and evolution to become the third deadliest man in the country. • Completed countless high-risk missions with a focus on precision, strategy, and minimal collateral damage. • Maintained a network of allies and resources, showcasing his ability to navigate the complexities of a world transformed by technology and conflict. 

Quote:“In a world governed by shadow and steel, humanity is both my shield and my sword.”
Character Sheet: Treth
Name: Treth (Surname unknown) North continent Rank #3. Born: 2138Current Year: 2223Age: 85 (Appears in his late 30s to early 40s due to unspecified means)
Background:Treth’s early life was marred by a traumatic upbringing under an abusive father, a period that, while deeply scarring, paradoxically forged him into the formidable figure he is today. The harsh conditions of his youth served not only to harden him physically but also to instill in him a resilience and determination that few can match. Rumors abound regarding the source of his extraordinary abilities, with some attributing his strength and speed to a mysterious darkness that he harnessed in the face of his suffering.
Physical Description:Treth is a study in contrasts, with a small and thin frame that hides an almost superhuman strength and agility. His movements are deceptively smooth, suggesting a level of training and bodily control that few can achieve. His eyes, often the only window into his enigmatic past, carry an intensity that belies his calm demeanor.He has long unkempt black hair. his skin is white as snow with small scars all across his body.
Personality:Treth is a man shaped by adversity, possessing a steely resolve and a focused mind. He speaks rarely, but when he does, his words carry weight. His traumatic past has instilled in him a strong sense of self-reliance and a deep, if not immediately apparent, empathy for those suffering under the yoke of tyranny or abuse. Despite his capabilities, he maintains a strict ethical code, choosing his contracts with care and often intervening in situations where he perceives an imbalance of power.
Abilities:

• Superhuman Speed and Agility: Capable of dodging bullets and executing feats of agility that seem to defy physics, Treth’s movements in combat are nearly unparalleled. • Exceptional Strength: His strength, enough to lift significant weight effortlessly, seems incongruent with his lean physique, hinting at the depths of his physical conditioning. • Master Combatant: With expertise in various forms of hand-to-hand combat and weaponry, Treth can neutralize multiple adversaries with efficiency and precision. • Stealth and Infiltration: His ability to blend into his surroundings and approach targets undetected makes him a ghost-like figure in the world of espionage. • Tactical Acumen: Treth’s experiences have honed his strategic thinking, allowing him to outmaneuver foes who underestimate him due to his unassuming appearance. 

Weaknesses:

• Psychological Scars: The trauma of his upbringing, while a source of his resilience, also haunts him, affecting his relationships and interactions. • Isolation: His solitary nature, a product of his past and profession, often leaves him detached from others, potentially missing opportunities for alliances or support. • Moral Code: Unlike many in his line of work, Treth operates according to a personal code of ethics, which, while noble, sometimes puts him at odds with the pragmatic demands of his missions. 

Allies:

• Selective Connections: Over the years, Treth has formed a network of contacts who respect his skills and share his disdain for injustice, though he remains cautious in his associations. 

Enemies:

• A Spectrum of Adversaries: From former targets to corrupt officials who fear his interference, Treth’s enemies are as diverse as the missions he undertakes. His past actions against those who wield power unjustly have made him a target in various circles. 

Notable Achievements:

• Dismantling of the Red Syndicate: A solo operation that resulted in the collapse of a major criminal organization. • The Night of the Hundred Shadows: Outsmarting and overcoming a group of enhanced assassins in a desolate megacity. • Cybernetic Tempest: Successfully thwarting a cyber-revolt without relying on technology, demonstrating the superiority of human skill and intuition. 

Goals:

• Balance and Justice: Treth seeks to use his abilities to correct injustices where he can, aiming to strike a balance in a world often skewed in favor of the powerful. • Understanding the Darkness: A personal quest to understand the nature of the darkness that some believe is the source of his strength, and to ensure it is used for righteous purposes. 

Name: Jasien Heth. North continent, Rank #1. Age: Mid-30s (Actual age: 134 years) Height: 6’5” Physique: Broad-shouldered, imposing Skin Tone: Olive Eyes: Deep, revealing a lifetime of arcane secrets and unwavering resolve Hair: Dark, often worn long and sometimes tied back for practicality Title: Grandmaster of the Arcanum, The Silent Guardian, The Deadliest Man in America Affiliation: The Arcanum.
Abilities and Skills:

• Unrivaled Arcane Mastery: Jasien’s command over magic is absolute, allowing him to wield destructive spells, manipulate the elements, and alter reality with a thought, no gestures or incantations needed. His magic can neutralize threats silently and without warning, making him a specter to his foes. • Biological Immortality: A potion of eternal youth grants him ceaseless vitality and resilience, enabling him to engage in battles that would wear down any mortal man. • Master Tactician: His extensive experience makes him a strategic genius in both magical and physical combat, capable of outmaneuvering enemies in any scenario. • Dimensional Manipulation: He can open rifts, banish beings to other dimensions, or call upon dimensional energies to obliterate his adversaries. • Telepathic Shields: His mind is fortified against intrusion and manipulation, an essential defense in a world where psychic attacks are as lethal as physical ones. • Expert Alchemist: Creator of potions and artifacts with deadly capabilities, including elixirs that can weaken or incapacitate powerful enemies. 

Weaknesses:

• Burden of Guardianship: His dedication to protecting the balance often places him in peril, making him a prime target for those who wish to see the world plunged into chaos. • Isolation of Immortality: His eternal life distances him from others, sometimes making him an enigma even among those he protects. 

Equipment:

• Cloak of Shadows: A magical cloak that renders him invisible and untouchable, perfect for stealth attacks or escapes. • Ring of Dominion: Controls magical forces within a certain radius, amplifying his power and suppressing enemy magic. • The Libram of Forbidden Arts: Contains spells and rituals no other dare use, a testament to his mastery and willingness to harness darkness for the greater good. 

Personality:Jasien is a figure of solemn duty and deep conviction. His longevity grants him a perspective that prioritizes the greater good above all, often at personal cost. While he may appear detached or ruthless, his actions are driven by a profound commitment to safeguarding humanity and the natural order.
Background:Rising from the obscurity of a world that had forgotten magic, Jasien’s discovery of his innate arcane talent set him on a collision course with destiny. Through decades of study, exploration, and confrontation, he mastered the arcane arts to an extent unseen in modern times. His creation of the Arcanum was not just to preserve magical knowledge but to serve as a command center from which he could watch over and intervene in the world’s affairs, wielding his power to eliminate threats from the shadows.
Goals:Above all, Jasien seeks to maintain the equilibrium between the seen and unseen worlds, ensuring that humanity remains blissfully unaware of the dangers that lurk just beyond their perception. His ultimate aim is to create a world where magic and mankind can coexist peacefully, with the Arcanum serving as the guardian of this balance. To those who threaten this vision, he is the unseen blade in the dark, the deadliest man in America, ready to strike down chaos and restore order with a whisper of arcane power.
Character Sheet: Blue
Name: Unknown (Uses the alias “Blue”)
Age: Presumed to be in his late 40s to early 50s
Nationality: Unknown
Occupation: Criminal Mastermind, Global Syndicate Leader, Influential Business Tycoon
Net Worth: $7 trillion, incorporating a vast array of legitimate business ventures, criminal operations, advanced military assets, and speculative investments across the globe and beyond.
Physical Appearance:

• Height: 6’1” • Build: Athletic, maintains peak physical condition through disciplined training • Hair: Dark, kept short and meticulously styled • Eyes: Deep blue, striking and intense, the source of his alias • Distinguishing Features: Bears a scar on the left side of his neck, usually concealed; known for his impeccable taste in tailored suits that are both elegant and functional 

Personality Traits:

• Intellect: Genius-level, with an exceptional talent for strategic thinking, manipulation, and foresight • Disposition: Calm and composed, exuding an aura of control and authority; possesses a stoic demeanor with rare flashes of intensity • Morality: Operates under a strict personal code that emphasizes loyalty, honor, and the protection of those under his command; ruthless in the pursuit of his objectives • Social Skills: Highly charismatic, capable of commanding loyalty and instilling fear; adept at negotiation and influence 

Abilities and Skills:

• Strategic Mastermind: Renowned for his ability to orchestrate complex plans spanning multiple continents and industries • Combat Proficiency: Trained in multiple forms of hand-to-hand combat and proficient in the use of various weapons • Technological Savvy: Has a deep understanding of cutting-edge technologies, especially in security, surveillance, and warfare • Financial Acumen: Demonstrates unparalleled insight into global financial systems, enabling him to amass, hide, and manipulate his vast wealth • Linguistic Fluency: Fluent in most key languages, aiding his global operations 

Assets:

• Military Might: Commands a private army of 140,000, complemented by 60,000 special operations soldiers, 50,000 military vehicles, 10,000 tanks, 45,000 planes, 32,000 helicopters, 2,000 submarines and 1,507 battleships. • Business Empire: Holds significant interests in technology, space exploration, agriculture, renewable energy, and financial services • Real Estate: Owns the largest and most secure private property in the world and several dozen across the world, a testament to his wealth and need for security • Notable Investments: Pioneering space exploration efforts and investing in asteroid mining, securing a pivotal role in humanity’s expansion beyond Earth 

Background: Shrouded in mystery, Blue’s origins are a closely guarded secret. He emerged on the global scene over two decades ago, quickly establishing himself as a dominant force in both the underworld and legitimate business spheres.
Current Status: Despite being one of the most wanted individuals globally, Blue operates from an undisclosed, highly fortified location. His influence permeates every level of global affairs, from the criminal underworld to the highest echelons of power.
Motivations:

• To maintain and expand his empire’s dominance • To ensure his and his organization’s survival and anonymity • Driven by a personal vendetta and broader ambitions that influence his strategic decisions 

Weaknesses:

• Personal losses, particularly the death of his child, have exposed emotional vulnerabilities • The vastness of his empire and its reliance on his leadership could present strategic weaknesses 

Allies and Enemies:

• Commands unwavering loyalty from his network of operatives and associates • Faces opposition from global law enforcement, rival criminal organizations, and political entities threatened by his rise to power 

Character Sheet: Nishiro Asukage
Name: Nishiro Asukage Born Year 56 Age: Varies (Provide specific age based on the timeline of your story) Nationality: Japanese Occupation: Leader of Japan, Founder and Master of Cosmic Sword Style
Physical Appearance: - Height: 6'2" - Build: Athletic, muscular - Hair: Long, black, usually cut short - Eyes: Intense, piercing white - Distinguishing Features: A scar across his left cheek, a mark from a past battle
Personality Traits: - Intelligent and Strategic: Known for his deep strategic thinking and ability to foresee enemy moves. - Stoic and Determined: Rarely shows emotion, always focused on his goals. - Honorable: Strong sense of justice and duty, adheres to a code of honor in all his dealings.
Abilities: - Cosmic Sword Style: Master of a unique sword style that includes advanced techniques such as "Atom Split" and "Flaming Viper." - Enhanced Healing: Capable of regenerating lost limbs and repairing vital organs due to divine enhancements. - Superhuman Speed and Strength: Can move at speeds exceeding Mach 116 and possesses immense strength capable of lifting/pushing with ease 200 tons. - Heightened Senses: Can detect any hostile presence within a 500-foot radius, making him nearly impossible to surprise or ambush. Can hear a spider crawling from 1000 feet away through a concrete wall. He can see clearly on a foggy day for 10 miles like he’s standing right in front of it. Has a reaction time in the nanoseconds.
Equipment: - Cosmic Sword: A specially crafted sword that is the conduit for his sword style techniques. - Armor: Traditional Japanese armor that has been reinforced with modern materials to withstand even the harshest impacts.
Background: Nishiro Asukage rose to prominence after the death of his father, taking over as the leader of Japan at a young age. He quickly established himself as a formidable warrior and tactician. After establishing the Cosmic Sword Style, Nishiro worked to enhance his skills and knowledge continuously, pushing the boundaries of traditional martial arts with his innovative techniques. His leadership is marked by a combination of strength, wisdom, and a deep sense of duty towards his country and people.
Goals: - Enhance Cosmic Sword Style: Continuously develop and refine his sword techniques to maintain his edge in combat. - Protect Japan: Ensure the safety and prosperity of his nation against all threats, both internal and external. - Seek Knowledge: Constantly pursue greater knowledge and understanding, both for personal growth and for the benefit of his realm.
Notable Feats: - Developed "Atom Split," a technique capable of causing atomic explosions. - Created "Flaming Viper," which harnesses atomic energy for a devastating sword attack. - Survived multiple assassination attempts and emerged victorious in numerous battles against formidable foes.
Certainly! Here’s a refined and detailed character sheet for Emperor Andreus Ivorstead, incorporating all the insights from our discussion:
Name: Andreus Ivorstead
Title: Emperor of Ivorstead, The Thundering Monarch, Protector of the Realm
Age: 48
Height: 7 feet
Build: Muscular, imposing
Physical Appearance: - Hair: Dark, often styled in a warrior's knot, symbolizing his readiness for battle. - Eyes: Steel blue, piercing and commanding, reflecting his strategic mind and war-hardened resolve. - Skin: Tanned and weathered from years of leading battles and overseeing the kingdom. - Attire: Wears enchanted silver armor in battle, designed in the style of ancient Viking warriors, showcasing his royal heritage. In court, he dons luxurious silks and cloaks adorned with the royal crest and jewels that signify his status.
Personality Traits: - Commanding and Charismatic: Naturally leads with authority and charm, inspiring loyalty and courage among his followers. - Stoic and Resolute: Maintains composure in crisis, rarely showing emotions that might undermine his regal bearing. - Fiercely Protective: Deeply committed to the safety and prosperity of his people, especially his family.
Background: Born into the ruling lineage of Ivorstead, Andreus was groomed for leadership, trained in the arts of war, diplomacy, and governance from a young age. He ascended to the throne after the peaceful demise of his father and has since expanded the empire’s borders while ensuring its internal stability and prosperity. His reign has been marked by challenges, including supernatural threats, which he has met with unwavering bravery and strategic brilliance.
Skills: - Master Swordsman: Unmatched in his skill with his twin great swords, which are legendary within and beyond his empire. - Strategic Genius: Known for his sharp tactical mind, capable of outmaneuvering enemies in both battlefield and political arenas. - Charismatic Leadership: Commands respect and loyalty through a combination of fear and admiration, ensuring strict adherence to his decrees.
Weapons: - Twin Great Swords: Each blade is a masterpiece of celestial metal, each blade weighing 1,500 pounds, and enchanted to enhance their lethality against Hardened entities. - Royal Armor: Custom-fitted and enchanted silver armor that provides superior protection and aids in the channeling of his elemental powers during combat.
Abilities: - Superhuman Strength and Speed: Capable of extraordinary feats of strength lifting 100 tons with ease, and able to move at blistering speeds, Mach 85 was his fastest speed. - Elemental Magic: Exhibits control over storms and lightning, a mystical trait that enhances his battlefield presence and deters his enemies.
Weaknesses: - Overprotective Nature: His deep affection for his daughter and his people sometimes clouds his judgment, potentially leading to decisions that put him at personal risk. - Burden of Leadership: The heavy responsibilities of kingship weigh on him, challenging his resolve and demanding much of his personal time and energy.
Goals: - Secure the Empire’s Future: Aims to strengthen Ivorstead’s borders, fortify its defenses, and ensure its prosperity through strategic expansions and alliances. - Legacy of Peace and Strength: Strives to leave a legacy that cements Ivorstead as a powerhouse and a beacon of stability in an often tumultuous world. - Prepare His Successor: Dedicated to grooming his daughter to assume the throne, ensuring she is ready to lead with wisdom and strength.
Relationships: - Daughter: His pride and joy, being meticulously groomed as his successor; their bond is strong, characterized by deep mutual respect and love. - Generals and Advisors: Maintains a circle of trusted advisors and military commanders whose counsel he values, though final decisions rest with him. - Citizens: Revered by his people for his just rule and the prosperity he has brought to the kingdom, which fosters a deep, mutual loyalty.
Emperor Andreus Ivorstead stands as a monumental figure, both a feared warrior and a revered leader, whose legacy is defined by his strategic prowess, his commitment to his people, and his unwavering resolve in the face of both terrestrial and supernatural challenges.

I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/Charming_Educator612
Originally posted to TrueOffMyChest
Previous BoRUs:
BoRU #1 originally posted by u/SJDude13
BoRU #2 originally posted by u/Shelly_895
[New Updates] - I accidentally caused a war between my family and my brothers wifes family with one innocent text message.
Trigger Warnings: homophobia, harassment, verbal abuse, mentions of physical violence
Mood Spoilers: positive for OOP
RECAP
Original Post: May 31, 2023
So my brothers wedding happened two days ago. And it turned into a complete chaos which I know even though I don't were there. You might wonder why I didn't attend the wedding if its my brother's. Well its because of his wife's family. He did sent me an invitation to the wedding because he wanted me there but his fiance told him I couldn't attend because I had a boyfriend. You might be confused. But I'm a man. A bisexual man to be exact and I have a boyfriend who I wanted to bring to the wedding. She said even though she doesn't have a problem with that and he doesn't have a problem with that her extremely religious parents who already forced her to do the wedding in a church would most likely banish us from the wedding and cause trouble between our families.
After she told him that my brother told me I couldn't attend and told me why. You might think I was angry. The truth is I was relieved. I hate going to big events with lots of people because of my social anxiety and I already was used to not being able to attend certain events because of my sexuality so it was nothing I haven't heard before. So at the day of the wedding I stayed at home with my boyfriend. Its worth mentioning my parents apparently didn't knew I wasn't attending the wedding. I was chillin at home cuddling with my boyfriend when I suddenly got a text message from my parents asking me where I was because they couldn't find me at the wedding party. I told them I wasn't attending the wedding and if my brother hasn't told them anything. They said no and asked me what happened.
I didn't saw any reason to lie so I sent them a text message telling them exactly why. Now I have to admit I don't exactly know what happened after I sent them this message because they read it but didn't reply. And why do they care in the first place? They didn't notice I wasn't there before until the wedding was already over. They only noticed when the wedding party started.
However. Apparently my parents talked to my brother about it and all of a sudden my abscence was the main topic of the wedding party. From what i heard, two fronts formed. on the one hand my parents and the rest of my family against the family of my brother's wife and apparently he as a husband now felt compelled to take her side and tried to argue in her favor. Its crazy to think that I was just sitting at home living my best life with my boyfriend while all of that shit went down on his wedding. The wedding party was ruined and my brother appeared on my door angrily screaming at me why I felt the need to ruin his wedding.
I was confused and asked him what happened and he told me everything. I told him it wasn't my intention. I just told our parents what happened because they didn't know and wanted to know where I was and I thought he told them beforehand. He screamed at me that I ruined his wedding. I told him its not my fault he wasn't honest with them. I just respected their wish to not attend the wedding. I couldn't know it would go down like this because like I said I couldn't attend several events before because of my sexuality and my parents never said anything about it so I thought it would be the same thing here.
But I gotta admit its kinda sweet that my parents and the rest of my family stood up for me. They haven't done it before. Thats a more than welcome change. But I still feel kinda bad because apparently I really ruined the wedding party.
 
Update #1: June 2, 2023 (2 days later)
Didn't thought I'd give an update but many interesting things happened.
So after my brothers visit his wife and him went to honeymoon. And the way the wedding party went might have been even worse than I imagined. What happens now is incredible. When I said in the main post that two fronts had formed, I only meant that metaphorically, of course, but it's no longer that. While nothing much interesting happened in the first two days afterwards the terror started as soon as my brother and his wife went on their honeymoon.
My mom and my dad visited me and told me how the wedding party escalated and they were so close to physical violence. I thought it was funny at first but this truly bothers me. I also wanna point that you did a great job at convincing me its not my fault but hearing my parents side still gave me a bad feeling in my stomach.
However like I said the terror started shortly after they went to their honeymoon. And when I say terror I mean that my SIL's family found both my facebook and instagram account and started spamming me with hateful messages. I received insults and hateful messages from various different accounts who all had one thing in common. They all had somewhat of a christian theme and all of them had the same last name. So it wasn't hard to find out whose accounts it was. Mainly because I don't know my SIL's family at all. I only know her and I know her parents were homophobic christians.
But whatever. They not only started attacking me they also found the account of my boyfriend over my account because we're linked as a couple and started to send him the same messages. the messages contained on one side typical bigot stuff like: "you're burning in hell for your sins". One even called me and my boyfriend "two devils in disguise". The other side were just blatant insults. You get the idea. I called my parents and told them what they are doing. Then I sent a text message to my brother with screenshots of the messages his wifes family sent me to which he replied that I "shouldn't disturb him with that during his honeymoon as I already destroyed his wedding party".
I couldn't believe it. He was just like them. He did sent me an apology AFTER my mom told me she called him. But none of this is the main reason I'm giving you this update this early.
Because I got a call this morning from an unknown number. I hesitated because I thought it was one of them. And I was right but it was none of the people who insulted me. I heard a womans voice who introduced herself as the half sister of my brothers wife. She said it didn't went unnoticed what her family was doing and she wanted to apologize for them.
I told her I'm not going to tell anyone in her family about this and that I don't blame her for her families actions. She thanked me and hung up. I don't know why but I have this feeling she only did this to protect her family from being reported. My mother wrote to me earlier that she wants to report the insults and the harrassment of these people and that she demands for my brother to divorce his wife or she will disinherit him from her will because "thats not how she raised him". A little radical in my opinion but I understand where she's coming from.
This entire thing escalated so much its unbelievable. Thank y'all for your support on my first post.
 
Why am i so casual about this entire situation?: June 3, 2023 (1 day later)
Some of you were wondering why I seem so calm and casual in the update when I'm discriminated against. The truth is that I am in a relationship with my boyfriend for three years now and the things that happen now are nothing compared to what I've been through. I receive hateful messages almost daily. Not only from their accounts but in general. And I learnt to ignore that.
There have been way worse situations. Such as when my boyfriend went to visit his family and I couldn't go with him. We kissed each other goodbye on the trainstation and when the train left and no one saw it a group of guys attacked me. I was sent to hospital because of severe injuries. Just to give you an idea what I had to deal with in the past.
And don't get me wrong we will report my SIL's family but what they are doing is nothing I haven't seen a thousand times before.
 
Update #2: June 12, 2023 (9 days later)
Its been a few days. First of all. Me and my boyfriend are fine. Luckily for us they didn't go any further than their text messages.
My mom filed a report against them. I don't know the current situation about that as I haven't filed the report myself. The reason I update you is a different one. First of all. One person in my SIL's family is actually going to testify in my favor and against her family. It really takes courage to do so. Its the same person that called me in the last update.
Somehow they found out that she is into women. No reason to hide it anymore. However she said she's fine and is going to stay at a friends house. I have so much respect for what she does. Imagine the strength you need to testify against your own family. I now feel bad for assuming she only called me to safe her family from being reported.
More importantly. What is the current situation with my brother? Well my mom talked to him and told him to leave his wife or she will disinherit him from her will. He decided to stay with his wife and my mom made her threat come true. He's no longer in her will. My father did the same. When I visited them I also told them that I wish that this entire situation went different. They assured me its not my fault but I feel like if it wasn't for me then my family wouldn't be ripped apart like this.
Haven't talked to my brother since then. My boyfriend feels similiar. He also told me he kinda feels responsible for all this chaos. I assured him its not his fault. But honestly I wasn't even sure if I could say this in my position. On the other hand it was my SIL's families bigotry that ruined everything and everything would've been fine if I could've just attended.
But now its time for me to grow distant to this situation. We see what the report will do. I followed your advice to document everything. The insulting and harrassing messages continued until two days ago. So I have much to say about them.
Unfortunately homophobia is still very much normalized in our society. I already said it in a post in my profile but the reason I'm so calm and casual about the situation is the simple fact that I'm used to situations like this. They don't get to me anymore. If I let any insult get to me I wouldn't make it for a long time. Its a coping mechanism. I've been into situations where I was sent into hospital because I kissed my boyfriend in public. So insults and harrassment like theirs is nothing I haven't seen before.
I want to say thank you for all your support on my first two posts.
 
Update #3: August 22, 2023 (2 months later)
I think some of y'all are waiting for an update so here I am. Keep in mind that this update will probably be the last one.
So last time I told you my mother was pressing charges against them and to my surprise we won. They weren't going to jail or anything but they had to pay for their actions. LITERALLY. There was one incident where my SIL dad was actually trying to find out where I lived and asked my brother who told him. Only god knows what he would've done to us if we still had lived there. But in the time span of the last two months me and my boyfriend moved to a different place which my brother didn't know anything off. Also their social media accounts were deleted. However I don't know if this was part of their punishment or if they did it themselves.
My mom has also carried out the threat towards my brother and disinherited him from her will. After he came back from his honeymoon he begged her to put him in again. She said only if he apologized to me. She invited me and my boyfriend over and my brother sat in the living room with this mad look on his face. She made him apologize but I didn't accept this apology because I could tell it wasn't sincere. He did it because he had to and not because he was actually sorry. I told my brother that I am disappointed in him for who he became.
Before that we had this huge bond usually never judged each other for stuff like this and all of a sudden he has such a problem with me having a boyfriend. I just don't get it. I told him that I miss the old him. He didn't respond to anything. He just sat their quietly staring at the bottom. After I finished he just got up and left. This was the last time I spoke with him and its already been a few weeks since this happened. My parents paid much more attention to the discrimination I face since this incident.
They wanted to learn more about the problems I face as a queer person. I really love them. My dad even got a bisexual pride flag for me and asked if he could hang it in our bedroom. I love that I have such great parents. I just wished for my brother to become the person he once was. Btw. since the case with my SIL's family is over I didn't heard anything about their lesbian daughter. She supported us during the process but we lost contact afterwards and I just hope she's fine.

----NEW UPDATES----

Update #4: February 16, 2024 (6 months later)
The final update of my story happened six months ago and I figured some of you might be interested in how things currently doing. So i'm back at least for this post right now.
There have been some things that happened. First of all I wanna give you an update about the sister of my brothers wife. Around two months after my update she texted us and asked if she could come over. We talked a while and I was relieved to find out that she is fine. She said that she moved in with her girlfriend when the case was over. Simply because her parents and the rest of her family had disowned her and threatened her with physical violence if she dares to return.
However the relationship with her girlfriend ended after a while and she asked us if she could stay for a few days until she found something. She stayed with us for two weeks. During that time my parents had visited us and offered her to stay with them because they had a big house with some free space. She stays there currently because she wanted to study and my parents had no problem with letting her stay a little longer. Me and my boyfriend also support her financially a little bit.
We included her into several different celebrations such as christmas and new years eve and I feel like she is like the sister I never had. Whats probably more interesting for you is how my brother is currently doing. The truth is: I don't know exactly. We haven't talked since the "apology" however he actually tried to attend our christmas celebration party but the moment he appeared my dad kicked him out and said that, and i quote "this homophobic rubbish is no longer allowed in my house". I love him. Oh btw of course both went through with disowning him.
My boyfriend and I are still together and I feel like he might be the one I wanna marry. This entire situation made our bond so much stronger. I plan on proposing to him but there are so many ideas floating around in my head for the proposal that I can't really decide which one. Also the social media accounts of my SIL's family had disappeared entirely. All of them but I assume the already made new ones under a new name.
I'm just glad all of this is finally over. I don't have any compassion left for my brother. I just wish he had never developed this way. Everything that happend to him he brought it on himself. If you guys want I can update you when I'm engaged.
Thanks for reading. Wish you all the best! <3
Relevant Comment
ValuablePace1904: Be sure to also hire security at your future wedding in case your brother, his wife, and his in laws try to boycott it in any shape or form if they somehow find out where it'll take place.

OOP: I never thought about that but true. If someones would try to do something like this as a revenge its them. I keep this in mind.

 
I proposed and he said yes!: April 14, 2024 (2 months later)
Do you remember when I told you in my last update two months ago that I will propose to my boyfriend? Well I did it today. I brought up so many ideas that it was really hard to decide so I gave him some subtle hints. Not too obvious. Just enough to see how he reacts and then decide based on his reaction.
In the end I made a photo album of us featuring the most important events in our relationship. Each of them had a thought of mine in a caption below them. Some of them were meaningful but some of them were just random. Like one photo of us eating at his favorite restaurant at his birthday and the caption just says something like: "damn that pizza was good!". That made him laugh. We walked to his favorite spot in town which is a wonderful lake.
That is where I gave him the album and told him its a present and to look through it. He was focused and didn't notice what I was doing behind him as I just told him I was getting something I forgot. I positioned myself behind him and that is when the last page came into play.
That page had a photo of me holding the ring in the same way I positioned myself behind him looking straight at the camera. And the caption says: "Hopefully he says yes!". He turned around in disbelief and started crying almost immediately when he saw me. I couldn't even finish the question and he already said yes. It was exactly how I hoped it would go. I always dreamt of making my proposal like out of a romance novel and I was successful. So yeah thats it. I'm gonna marry him.
I already told my entire family exact for my brother of course. They were so happy about it especially my mom and new sister shrieked out of excitement on the phone. I assume my "brother" knows anyway considering I shared it on facebook. You guys probably aren't wrong that he might plan something but if he does it won't stop us.
Do you guys want me to update you when I'm married to tell you about the wedding and everything?
 
My boyfriend and I will have a rather unconventional wedding! - April 21, 2024 (1 week later)
I just HAVE to tell you guys this. We're currently planning our wedding and instead of a regular wedding dance we decided we wanna have a lightsaber battle against each other. Of course its not just a random lightsaber battle. Its like a choreography that we have to learn. We're both HUGE Star Wars fans.
My dad who also loves Star Wars said he wants to join and he had an idea how to do that. He said to add like a story to it that he wants to have a lightsaber battle against my fiance where my fiance has to fight for the right to marry me where my dad would eventually lose and then I would step in to test my fiances strength myself and there would be a light saber battle between us and then i'd acknowledge his force as worthy enough! I know some might think its childish but I'm so excited for it.
Our wedding will be a day for people to remember!
 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

This is a subject that comes up often enough so I thought I would make a post about it. It's no secret the show has flaws and a few non-sensical elements, however this particular issue, while considered ridiculous by a large portion of the fandom, is one of the most realistic and well written elements of the show.
Acknowledging the effects of Cora's abuse is often rejected as a justification of Regina's behavior when, objectively, it is not. Having been abused, doesn't give her the right to abuse others, especially innocents. I understand some of Regina's fans will excuse everything she does and, given how toxic the fandom has been at times, the caution is warranted. However this post is not meant to absolve Regina of her crimes or convince anyone to side with her but to provide an insight into the character's psyche and explain why it is not so crazy Regina ended up hating Snow.
Disclaimer: I'm not a psychiatrist or any kind of mental health professional. I just read a lot of studies, papers and the likes. This is not by any means a diagnosis or a profile of the character. This is just what I've come to understand from my readings on the subject and the material provided by the show. If any professional out there wishes to correct any aspect of this post, I will gladly do so.
Just one last time to make sure it's not an issue: none of what I'm about to discuss justifies, excuses or otherwise validates the abuse Regina inflicts on people. This post only means to look at the thought process of the character, how it ties into the theme of childhood abuse and why her blaming Snow for Daniel's death is the result of a deeply flawed coping mechanism. It is not meant to convince anyone to side with Regina or attack the character of Snow White.

Decentering ourselves

We, as outsiders, are able to rationalize what happened and recognize Snow as a victim. She was a child confiding in an adult she perceived as safe. Cora exploited her grief and naïve worldview. Through that lens, it all seems ridiculous : if we can see that, so should Regina.
Right?
Well, no. This viewpoint centers our own thought process when it's the character's that we should consider. It is ridiculous to us, the viewers who are far removed from the situation, but Regina is in the thick of it. The way she perceives events is therefore different due to her unique perspective. Regina blaming Snow isn't random, it's a direct result of Cora's abuse affecting the way she processes her emotions. Cora is a part of Regina's life, some would say an overbearing presence, she is the one to crush Daniel's heart. It's not like she is unavailable. So, why doesn't Regina blame her? Why the single focus on Snow?
Cora is abusive, has been so for Regina's entire life and it has conditioned her to adopt a specific attitude, normalize harmful behaviors and process emotions differently. This conditionning directly influences how Regina perceives and reacts to the outside world. As the show progresses, it becomes increasingly obvious Regina has internalized a lot of her mother— they do an incredible job in season 2 showcasing the various ways in which Regina's transformation into the Evil Queen simply turned her into a more intense version of Cora— this process of internalization during the child's development has been studied in what is called Object Relations Theory. Amongst the different works on the subject, I want to focus on Fairbairn's. Feel free to read his papers if the subject interests you.
What is referred to as objects are people most of the time. The term comes from Freud who liked to use military and biological terms in his works.

The morale defence

Fairbairn believed a child is wholly dependent on their care-givers and as such, develops their views (of themselves and others) based on them. He focused his theories on the primary care-giver, during his time it was mostly the mother. He observed how children internalized and repressed mistreatment in their subconscious because their conscious selves was not equipped to handle it. He observed children whose needs have been neglected and/or who have been abused had trouble admitting to their parents' mistreatment, developping what he called the moral defence. Here is a snippet taken directly from his paper:
At one time it fell to my lot to examine quite a large number of delinquent children from homes which the most casual observer could hardly fail to recognize as ‘bad’ in the crudest sense—homes, for example, in which drunkenness, quarrelling, and physical violence reigned supreme. It is only in the rarest instances, however, (and those only instances of utter demoralization and collapse of the ego) that I can recall such a child being induced to admit, far less volunteering, that his parents were bad objects. It is obvious, therefore, that in these cases the child’s bad objects had been internalized and repressed. What applies to the delinquent child can be shown to apply also to the delinquent adult—and not only to the delinquent adult, but also to the psychoneurotic and psychotic. For that matter, it also applies to the ostensibly ‘normal’ person. It is impossible for anyone to pass through childhood without having bad objects which are internalized and repressed.
[....]
If the delinquent child is reluctant to admit that his parents are bad objects, he by no means displays equal reluctance to admit that he himself is bad. It becomes obvious, therefore, that the child would rather be bad himself than have bad objects; and accordingly we have some justification for surmising that one of his motives in becoming bad is to make his objects ‘good’. In becoming bad he is really taking upon himself the burden of badness which appears to reside in his objects. By this means he seeks to purge them of their badness; and, in proportion as he succeeds in doing so, he is rewarded by that sense of security which an environment of good objects so characteristically confers. To say that the child takes upon himself the burden of badness which appears to reside in his objects is, of course, the same thing as to say that he internalizes bad objects. Pages 63-67 of Psychoanalytic Studies of the Personality (The Repression and the Return of Bad Objects (with special reference to the War Neuroses)(1943))
The moral defence is essentially the child deciding to cope with the abuse they are facing by constructing a safe environment and turning their bad objects (their parents) into good objects thus taking on the burden of the badness. It gives them the much coveted feeling of being cared for and safety their environment in its original form does not provide but also a sense of control over their own life. Regina is convinced of Cora's love and good intentions towards her in spite of all the evidence to the contrary. Always outright rejecting assertions to the contrary. The scene showcasing that phenomenon occurs in 1x18. Regina and Cora argue and the latter uses magic to "win" and re-establish control. Pay attention to Regina's response to being physically restrained and hurt.
"I'll be good."
This quote indicates Regina believes the fault lies with her. This is happening because she was being bad and not because Cora is abusive and seeks to control through violence. It can be noted Regina was simultaneously placating Cora, telling her what she wished to hear, so she may be freed. However, the specific phrasing reveals there was more to it. First the use of future tense, implying Regina knows her current behavior is not "good" thus the promise of being good in the future.
Then, consider this: I'll be good. What does it mean?
It is extremely vague, how will she be good, what was she doing that was bad? Most of us wouldn't see Regina's behavior in this scene as bad. Cora spoke of obedience but that is not what Regina uses to placate her. She doesn't say I'll obey, she specifically says I'll be good despite how very little it means. What this tells us is Regina's view of herself is inherently negative.

Regina's self-esteem

This, once again, goes back to her relationship to her mother. More specifically, Cora's opinion of her. Most likely, good/bad is the feedback she's received throughout her life. If she does something right she is my darling girl (2x02) if she does something wrong, she is a foolish girl (1x18). Good or bad depending on if she could reach Cora's expectations. There is nothing wrong with Regina's behavior but she's always been told there was so she's learned to think of herself as bad unless she receives indication to the contrary. This arbitrary valuing system ruined Regina's self-esteem. Fairbairn believed a child's greatest need was to be loved and failure to meet that need stunted their development keeping them in a state of dependence on their parent in pursuit of that love and validation of their worth as an individual.
In the older child this experience is one of intense humiliation over the depreciation of his love, which seems to be involved. At a somewhat deeper level (or at an earlier stage) the experience is one of shame over the display of needs which are disregarded or belittled. In virtue of these experiences of humiliation and shame he feels reduced to a state of worthlessness, destitution or beggardom. His sense of his own value is threatened; and he feels bad in the sense of ‘inferior’. The intensity of these experiences is, of course, proportionate to the intensity of his need; and intensity of need itself increases his sense of badness by contributing to it the quality of ‘demanding too much’. At the same time his sense of badness is further complicated by the sense of utter impotence which he also experiences. Page 113 of Psychoanalytic Studies of the Personality (Endopsychic Structure Considered in Terms of Object-Relationships) (1944)
I was discussing this with someone on youtube and they used a very interesting phrase. They said Regina cannot believe in herself unless someone else does it for her. The example they cited was Wilma and how Regina seemed to believe she could change because Snow believed she could. However, the minute they stumble upon the slaughtered village and Snow's belief disappears so does Regina's. She attempts to walk Snow back to her earlier belief but it only gives her away. Regina believes she isn't good enough until someone says so. It is consistent with what we see of Cora's parenting. This exchange in 1x18 as Regina is being physically restrained showcases Cora's devaluing of Regina :
Regina: Why can’t I just be myself?
Cora: Oh, because you can be so much more. If you’d just let me help you…
Translation: Regina is not enough as is and needs her mother's guidance. Her current worth is diminished by Cora because the greatest threat to her control over Regina is her self-esteem. If Regina realizes she deserves better, Cora will lose all control over her. Regina is kept isolated so the only indication of her worth will come from her mother.

The dynamics of a narcissistic mother's household

At this point, some people will mention Henry Senior. To be honest he doesn't count. Yes he loved Regina but he also enabled Cora's behavior. In 2x02, when Regina comes to him with concerns over her darkening thoughts, what is his response?
Regina: Daddy, you don’t know what Mother’s doing to me. It’s like she’s turning me into her. I have to get away.
Henry I: Get away? But tomorrow’s the wedding, child.
Regina: I don’t want to marry the King. I’ve told you that.
Henry I: Well, you’re certain it isn’t just cold feet?
Regina: Daddy, this is not cold feet. This… This is… This is insanity. I’m angry all the time. She’s making me crazy.
Henry I: She wants to give you everything she never got for herself.
Henry does exactly the same thing Cora does. He invalidates Regina's feelings and diminishes her concerns. For all intents and purposes, he treats her like a child who does not know what they want. He makes excuses for Cora, picking her side and making one thing clear: he is not a safe space for his daughter, he doesn't truly listen to her because he is more concerned about keeping Cora happy. Regina did not value her father as she saw him as her mother's mouthpiece, not really a person in his own right. There is a reason she made him the help as Queen. This post isn't about him so we won't look into that more but a lot can be said there.
From my research and experience, the answer is clear: Father is revolving around Mother like a planet around the sun. The narcissist needs to be married to a spouse who will allow her to be at the center of all the action. That is how it has to be if the marriage is to survive. In the family drama, the narcissist is the star, and her spouse takes a supporting role. A man gets himself into this situation for many reasons, but for our discussion the most pertinent point is that he is the kind of person who accepts this behavior from his spouse and, most of the time, enables her. Perhaps he doesn’t always want to, but he does, because he has learned over time that this is what works with her. Because the father focuses on his wife, his pact with the mother can make him look narcissistic too. He is unable to attend to the needs of his daughter. Pages 65-66 of Will I Ever Be Good Enough?
This book is all about narcisstic mothers and the effect they have on their daughters. It was written by Karyl McBride, a therapist, if you wish to check it out. This book was very enlightening and provides a insight into the recovery journey for women who grew up with mothers like this. The book takes great care to highlight the various effects of parental narcissism so it's a great read if you're curious or if you think you may be dealing with that. To go back to our case, Henry Senior, knowingly or not sacrificed Regina's needs to cater to Cora's and the show even addresses it in the Underworld arc with his unfinished business being his inaction faced with Cora's abuse of their daughter. He knows he should intervene but it's more important to him to keep the peace than to be there for his child.
Cora, as a narcisstic mother, views Regina as an extension of herself. She is akin to some mothers in beauty pageant for toddlers, you know the type, in the sense she is living vicariously through her daughter. Cora wants to be queen but couldn't so now Regina has to be queen. To hell with Regina's own wishes, it is what Cora wants that matters. She actually fluctuate between the engulfing mother and the ignoring mother. Between the mother who controls everything and the mother who can't be bothered. Cora controlled every aspect of Regina's life from clothes to food but never cared to give her the attention she craved. The Underworld Arc once again touches upon that with the scenes of Regina as a child. Cora never has time to play with her but she finds time for lessons and condecension.
I find the scene of Daniel's death to be so well written with the way it showcases Cora's ability to gaslight, manipulate, intimidate and devalue in a short amount of time. Let's take a look:
Regina: Mother, I-
Cora: Don’t. You sneak out of my house in the dead of night, and think I won’t notice? How dare you.
Regina: You’re impossible to talk to. Stop with the magic and listen to me. I want to be with Daniel.
Cora: Oh, you don’t know what you want. But I do. I didn’t make the sacrifices I did in life, to get you to the cusp of greatness, so that you could end up the wife of a stable boy.
Regina: But it’s my life.
Cora: You foolish girl. It’s mine. After what I had to do… The deals, I had to make to get us out of poverty, to get us this life, and you just want to toss it away?
Daniel: Stay strong, Regina.
Cora starts with reminding Regina of her place in their dynamic. Cora is the head of their household: her house, her rules. It works because Regina justifies herself immediately. What this does is place Regina in a position where she is once again lower than Cora and must earn her approval. It's a position Cora is used to. Regina then makes it clear: she wants Daniel but Cora doesn't listen because, in the past when they've been in that position, she never had to. She could get Regina back in line through intimidation. Besides, Regina can't know what she wants because Regina is not her own person. She is an extension of Cora. She then proceeds to victimize herself. She sacrificed a lot to get there, if Regina lives her life as she sees fit, she is spitting in her face.
Regina attempts to push back and assert ownership over her life. Cora's response shows she realized her control has slipped further than it ever had before. Cora shows her true colors briefly: it's all about her. She dresses it up in an attempt to guilt trip but the mask slipped for a second. Her victimization is reflected in her use of pronouns, I for sacrifices, us for gain and you for waste. She's laying it on thick. Who really gained here? Regina had no guarantee to ever be born if Cora didn't "sacrifice". Who wanted this life? Not the unborn baby. Note the use of foolish girl we mentionned earlier. I lost for us so you can't throw it away. Blatant attempt at emotional blackmail.
However, Cora recognizes her defeat when Daniel gets involved. Regina never had that presence in her life to back her up and be there to validate her feelings and support her. Daniel is there, giving her the reassurance she needs to leave. He doesn't fight her battles for her but he's there to lend strength.
Regina: Your magic can’t keep us apart. I love him.
Daniel: And I love her.
Cora: And I love her, too.
Regina: If you loved me, you wouldn’t try to keep us apart.
Cora: And if you loved me, you wouldn’t try to run away.
Regina: I’m sorry, but this is my happiness. We’re going.
Cora: No, you’re not.
Regina: So, what’s your plan? You’re going to keep us here forever? Because that’s what you’ll have to do.
At that point, Cora is faced with the failure of her first tactic. Regina isn't cowed by her magic anymore, she fully intends to leave. Victimization didn't work countered by Daniel's support. So, she adapts her strategy. Cora has perfected the use of affection as a tool to influence Regina. I use the word affection because Cora doesn't show love, love is unconditional but Cora's affections were dependant on Regina "earning it". When Regina behaved as Cora expected, she was rewarded with it, when Regina showed doubts and signs of breaking away from her mother's influence, Cora enticed her back with scraps of attention, praises and the likes. Here, Daniel's love is winning over hers in Regina's eyes, mainly because it's genuine. Therefore, Cora has to switch gears once again. If Regina can't be won back then Daniel has to be lost but she needs to regain control first. How does she do that?
Cora: So, this is… Your decision? This will make you happy?
Regina: It already has.
Cora: Then, who am I to stop you?
Regina: Thank you, mother.
Cora: Daniel. If you want to have a life together, a family… Then, there’s one important lesson I can impart on you. It’s what it means to be a parent. You always have to do what’s best for your children.
Daniel: Thank you. I understand. Because that’s what you’re doing now.
Cora: Yes. It is.
Regina: Mother! No! No! No, no, no. Mother, why have you done this?
Cora: Because this is your happy ending.
Regina: What?
Cora: Oh, you have to trust me, Regina. I know best. Love is weakness, Regina. It feels real now. At the start, it always does. But, it’s an illusion. It fades. And then, you’re left with nothing. But power, true power, endures. And then, you don’t have to rely on anyone to get what you want. I’ve saved you, my love.
Cora feigns defeat. Honestly, top notch acting, the little hesitation, the resignation. She seems so genuine but at the same time there's this uneasy feeling screaming it's too easy that puts the viewers on edge. Props to Barbara Hershey for this performance. Regina should really see it coming but she doesn't, that's what shows her ever lasting hope her mother will love her at last, and Cora successfully separates them physically. What is interesting about this moment is how Cora re-establishes her control over Regina. By now, she has accepted Daniel's word outweights hers so she gets his seal of approval on his own death.
That's what you're doing now.
It may seem insignificant but getting Daniel to agree with her has the same effect as Henry agreeing with her. It chips away at Regina's feeling of security with them. They're not really on her side. When Cora defends her action as being in Regina's best interest, there is no pushback. The statement is allowed to sink into Regina's mind unopposed. She is so lost and struck by grief, the absurdity barely even registers. Cora's following words serve to further devalue Daniel and his love. It was a weakness, it wasn't real, it was a trick, an illusion that can be taken away and once it is, you're left with nothing. In Regina's vulnerable state, the words ring true because she really is left with nothing.
Daniel is gone.
Look at her face as the fact truly settles in. Regina is crying because she feels her mother is right and then Cora says this: you don’t have to rely on anyone to get what you want. I’ve saved you, my love. The tears stop then.
Cora is preaching power as a means to be self-sufficient but in a rare moment of clarity, Regina realizes it's bullshit. Cora needed Regina to get what she wanted. Cora isn't all powerful which is why the next sentence matters so much. I've saved you, if Regina needed to be saved, she is not self-sufficient. Cora may not be all powerful but Regina does not have any power. Yet. A subtle reminder of why Cora is still on top in their dynamic and why Regina can't seek oppose her.
Regina: You’ve ruined everything. I loved him. I loved him!
Cora: Enough! I’ve endured this long enough. Now, clean yourself up, wipe away your tears, because now… You’re going to be Queen.
Notice the use of past tense. She loved him not love, loved. Love fades, doesn't it? I think it's an interesting detail. It's almost as if Regina is doubting her own feelings and their realness. The way she repeats it feels like an attempt at convincing herself as well as Cora. Icing on the cake is after devaluing love, Cora then purposefully uses it to justify her actions. It was all out of love so is love real or is it an illusion? Gaslighting at it's finest. Regina know longer knows what to believe, which is it? Cora's contradicting herself and the confusion only serves to make Regina feel crazy. Either she accepts her mother did it out of love or love isn't real. Without Daniel's support, Cora regains control through intimation in one burst of her short temper.
We see Cora flexing her manipulation muscles once more in 2x12. Regina never really grew up the way she was supposed to and in many ways is still "dependent" on Cora. This goes back to Fairbain's assertion a child's greatest need is to be loved and have that loved validated by their care-givers. He credited the failure to satisfy this need as the reason children stay attached to abusive parents. They do so in the hope that they will be rewarded with love over time.
What emerges as clearly as anything else from the analysis of such a case is that the greatest need of a child is to obtain conclusive assurance (a) that he is genuinely loved as a person by his parents, and (b) that his parents genuinely accept his love. It is only in so far as such assurance is forthcoming in a form sufficiently convincing to enable him to depend safely upon his real objects that he is able gradually to renounce infantile dependence without misgiving. In the absence of such assurance his relationship to his objects is fraught with too much anxiety over separation to enable him to renounce the attitude of infantile dependence; for such a renunciation would be equivalent in his eyes to forfeiting all hope of ever obtaining the satisfaction of his unsatisfied emotional needs. Frustration of his desire to be loved as a person and to have his love accepted is the greatest trauma that a child can experience Page 39 of Psychoanalytic Studies of the Personality (A Revised Psychopathology of the Psychoses and Psychoneuroses (1941))
Rewatch the scene taking place in Regina's car in 2x12. The way Regina behaves is particularly interesting. She starts off strong in her resolve but pay attention at how she dissolves, rather quickly, back to the little girl who needs her mother's comforting embrace.
Seriously rewatch that scene.
Cora knows which button to push to get Regina exactly where she wants her. She starts with pitting Regina against Emma for the role of Henry's mother thus devaluing her in the one role that matters to her. She continues with instilling doubts about the way Regina is perceived by others (will it make a difference if they know she didn't kill Archie?), knowing exactly how her intervention has affected Regina's outlook on redemption.
So, what is Regina's position here? She is isolated, convinced everyone hates her and her love is rejected by Henry. Regina is more or less put back in a position where she needs reassurance she can be loved and what does Cora offer? Finally giving Regina what she craved her whole life. The scene ends with Regina seeking comfort in the arms of her mother exactly as Cora intended. Without any support and anyone to believe for her, Cora plays Regina like a fiddle. The same scene with Henry or Emma in the car would play closer to the scene in 1x18 with Daniel. I'm not sure Cora would kill Henry though.

Regina's need for maternal love

Regina has this unfulfilled need for her mother's love causing her to jump at any opportunity to feel scraps of said love, meaning she can never blame Cora for anything. If she does, Regina would be indirectly admitting Cora does not love her and doing so would mean giving up the hope of ever feeling the much coveted love of her mother. She simply cannot do that. That need is only intensified by Cora's constant use of affection as a tool. Regina chases and chases but can never reach her mother, not truly and so the need stays forever unfulfilled. Fairbairn wrote the following words on the subject:
The child not only internalizes his bad objects because they force themselves upon him and he seeks to control them, but also, and above all, because he needs them. If a child’s parents are bad objects, he cannot reject them, even if they do not force themselves upon him; for he cannot do without them. Even if they neglect him, he cannot reject them; for, if they neglect him, his need for them is increased.
[...]
It is above all the need of the child for his parents, however bad they may appear to him, that compels him to internalize bad objects; and it is because this need remains attached to them in the unconscious that he cannot bring himself to part with them. It is also his need for them that confers upon them their actual power over him. Pages 67-70 of Psychoanalytic Studies of the Personality (The Repression and the Return of Bad Objects (with special reference to the War Neuroses) (1943))

Releasing and avoiding emotions

In the meantime, Regina has real feelings, anger, resentment, etc. she feels towards Cora but cannot express. Whenever Cora does something "bad" that Regina cannot internalize as her fault, she triggers the release of Regina's bad objects. This is an insanely stressful situation for Regina who simply cannot deal with it.
So, Regina finds a proxy for Cora to deal with the anxiety over the return of her repressed objects. Blaming Snow is Regina's way of coping with the stress of her mother's behavior pushing her towards recognizing the abuse. With a proxy, Regina is free to rage and release all of her feelings without the risk of losing her mother's love hanging over her head. In other words, it is now safe for her to express her feelings. Fairbairn believed a good case of transference (the one existing between therapist and patient) can lead to the safe release of repressed object otherwise it would lead to the repression being intensified and people to double down on their unhealthy coping mechanism and never address the root of their issues.
It is true that it is from his symptoms that he consciously desires to be relieved, and that a considerable proportion of psychopathological symptoms consist essentially in defences against a ‘return of the repressed’ (i.e. a return of repressed objects). Nevertheless, it is usually when his defences are wearing thin and are proving inadequate to safeguard him against anxiety over a threatened release of repressed objects that he is driven to seek analytical aid. From the patient’s point of view, accordingly, the effect of analytical treatment is to promote the very situation from which he seeks to escape. Hence the phenomenon of the transference neurosis, which involves in part a defence against, and in part a reaction to, a release of repressed bad objects. The release of such objects obtained in analytical treatment differs, however, from a spontaneous release of such objects in that it has a therapeutic aim—and ultimately a therapeutic effect in virtue of the fact that it is a release controlled by the analyst and safeguarded by the security imparted by the transference situation Page 75 of Psychoanalytic Studies of the Personality (The Repression and the Return of Bad Objects (with special reference to the War Neuroses) (1943))
Not completely divorced from Cora's abuse, Regina's second motivation to blame Snow is avoiding guilt and the confirmation of her toxic beliefs. We've established earlier Cora's rejection of Regina's love as a child lowered her self esteem. It also created the belief expressing her love was bad.
Regressive reinstatement of the early oral attitude would appear to be most readily brought about by a situation of emotional frustration in which the child comes to feel (a) that he is not really loved for himself as a person by his mother, and (b) that his own love for his mother is not really valued and accepted by her. This is a highly traumatic situation giving rise to a further situation characterized as follows: (a) The child comes to regard his mother as a bad object in so far as she does not seem to love him. (b) The child comes to regard outward expressions of his own love as bad, with the result that, in an attempt to keep his love as good as possible, he tends to retain his love inside himself. (c) The child comes to feel that love relationships with external objects in general are bad, or at least precarious. Page 17-18 of Psychoanalytic Studies of the Personality (Schizoid Factors in the Personality (1940))
When Daniel dies after she expressed her love for him it only works to confirm what she already fears to be true: her love is destructive. However, if Snow is responsible then it isn't Regina's love that killed Daniel.
Looking back at the scene immediately after, Regina is very withdrawn and resigned to her fate because even if she is angry, even if she is hurt, Cora can't blamed so her default proxy is herself. Regina essentially considers this marriage as punishment for her love causing Daniel's demise. So, she bottles all that hurt and simply does as she's told. Enters Snow with the truth: she broke her confidence and told Cora about Daniel. Not a reprehensible act by any means, it was a simple mistake made by a child but that is not how Regina sees it. To her, it's a breach of trust. Look at this quote in 1x21:
"She ripped his heart out because of you"
The phrasing makes it seem like Snow forced Cora's hand when all she did was give her an information. Cora did not have to kill Daniel, Snow did not tell her to kill Daniel but in Regina's mind, giving Cora that information was akin to giving her the order. Here's another way to see it: Cora's hand needed to be directed and Snow gave her a clear target. Thus, Regina transfers all of the resentment she feels towards Cora onto Snow. Someone who is both safer to be angry at, vulnerable to attack but also blameable. Nothing in Regina's psyche is barring her from blaming Snow. She is not attached to her in a way that warps her entire thought process. The added bonus is getting rid of the guilt and the feeling her love is destructive.
Snow provides Regina with an easy way out. She doesn't have to face Cora's abuse and her love is not what killed Daniel.
If Snow had kept Regina's secret, anyone else may have been blamed. Her father, the horse, the king. Whoever allowed her to rid herself of her guilt. As a matter of fact, Snow was not the first, nor was she the last proxy for Cora. Daniel himself was one albeit on a smaller scale. In 1x18 when Regina is angry at Cora for her criticism, she snaps at Daniel, transferring her anger at Cora's behavior onto him. Then in 4x20, when Regina learns of Cora's treachery with Nottingham, she tortures him. Cora finds out and subsequently lets him go, what is Regina's response?
"Why did you let him go? Don't you want someone else to suffer for what you did? As usual..."
This shows on some level, she is aware of what she is doing. She knows she is punishing other people for the things Cora does. Which goes to show this can't absolve her of wrongdoing. It may explain her behavior but it does not justify or excuse it. Regina is not the only character to be mistreated, she didn't have to turn into this.
In conclusion, Regina blaming Snow is not a random decision. It is a choice perfectly showcasing the effects of Cora's abuse on Regina's psyche and a rather realistic depiction of the negative effects of childhood abuse. Got a little carried away but I hope you found something of value in this post. Looking forward to your thoughts.

The brillant writing of 2x02

Here's a bonus I found very interesting:
In 2x02, Regina gets rid of Cora by pushing her through a mirror. It happens after their exchange where Cora is giving Regina instructions. Cora takes them in front of the mirror to look at their reflections after expressing disappointment at the gift.
"A looking glass. Not nearly as personal."
Those are her exact words. I want to direct your attention to this part of Will I Ever Be Good Enough?:
Sadly, due to the detrimental effects of these ten stingers, when the daughter of a narcissistic mother looks for her own image in the mirror, she has trouble seeing herself. Instead, her sense of self is merely a reflection of how her mother sees her, which is too often cast in a negative light. Page 45 of Will I Ever Be Good Enough?
This section is part of the chapter titled The Empty Mirror, My Mother and Me. The choice of a mirror here can be interpreted as a way to highlight how much of Regina's self image is tied to her mother. People can't gift her a portrait as Cora wanted because she can't stand on her own. Regina never once gets to look at her reflection when she's by herself. When she does look into the mirror it is at Cora's urging with her mother by her side holding her close, wearing the dress her mother chose, about to marry the man her mother wanted. Where does Cora end and where does Regina begin? No one knows. It's once again all about Cora. The reflection starring back at her is exactly how Cora views her. An extension to herself. And when she gets rid of Cora, the mirror shatters, symbolizing both the ruins of that relationship but also the fact that without her mother, Regina is empty. There is nothing but void starring back at her now. Regina doesn't know who she is without Cora telling her so she does not have a reflection standing alone. There is no clear picture in her mind of who she is. That's exactly how she ends up becoming Cora 2.0. It's all she knows how to be, who she was groomed to become. The Evil Queen has a reflection because at this point, Regina has morphed into Cora 2.0, someone she can see clearly.
*Edit: added section headers.

I did my best to follow all posting rules, but I am new to reddit so please let me know if I need to edit anything. Spoilers through the end of ACOMAF. (I have not read past that so please no spoilers from future books in the comments).
I finally finished reading ACOMAF, and oh my word it was so good. Thank you to all the people who kept pushing it as “more than just YA” because you were completely correct. Before I get into everything, I will say that I will be discussing this book with the assumption that both Tamlin and Rhysand are recognized as abusive, so if that is not how you want to read/interpret the book, this might not be an interesting or fun post for you.
I’ve never seen a parallel of a deconstruction of toxic romantasy tropes with a reconstruction of those exact same tropes in another guy and it just worked so, so well. I thought it generated such an interesting exploration of how someone who has already been in an abusive relationship, recognized that as abuse, and escaped, might still not recognize when she winds up in another abusive relationship. I’ll focus here mostly on how prior abuse left Feyre vulnerable too and maybe even primed for Rhysand’s abuse.
Rhysand using Ianthe and Tamlin’s prior manipulations to aid in his manipulation of Feyre
One of the things that stands out very early in the book is how much both Ianthe and Rhysand keep highlighting that Feyre has no choice but Tamlin (from Ianthe) and no choice but Tamlin or Rhysand (from Rhysand). Ianthe tells Feyre that all other high lords would just use her as a “broodmare”. The message is ‘doesn’t matter what Tamlin does, everywhere else will be worse. You have to accept the abuse, because if you don’t it will be worse.’ And then Rhysand doubles down on this message, saying “You can be a pawn, be someone’s reward, and spend the rest of your immortal life bowing and scraping and pretending you’re less than him, than Ianthe, than any of us….you’ve got another choice. You can master whatever powers we gave to you, and make it count. You can play a role in this war. Because war is coming one way or another, and do not try to delude yourself that any of the Fae will give a shit about your family across the wall when our whole territory is likely to become a charnel house.” Rhysand is saying ‘Tamlin or me, those are your options.’
And of course, we do later find out that Rhysand is lying. Feyre did have other options; she could have tried going to Tarquin in the Summer Court. There’s not guarantee that he would have helped, but he was a decent guy and did attempt to help her when she did eventually get there. There was a good shot that he would have helped her if she had gone to him from the beginning, which Rhysand knew, as evidenced by him admitting that he thought Tarquin was a good high lord. Instead of telling her this, Rhysand lies to Feyre, piggybacking off of Ianthe and Tamlin in order to manipulate her into joining him, and seeing him as a savior. And eventually, after he gets her to steal from the Summer Court, he effectively eliminates Tarquin as a third option.
It’s also worth noting how Rhysand uses Feyre’s strained relationship with her sisters to separate her even further from them. Rhysand tells Feyre that he resents her sisters for not protecting her, even at one point commenting on how young she was. He completely ignores that they were young too, and going through hell like she was. It astonishes me that none of the three 500-year-old fey thought at any point “Hey, maybe Feyre’s memory of this time period and her perspective on her sisters is not 100% objectively correct and we should approach these young women, who have also been through substantial trauma, with kindness.”
This example also effectively illustrates how Feyre is pulled into these relationships at least partially due to societal influences. There are limited options for an abuse victim to find help, where they would have to find another high lord to protect them (something we also see with Lucien needing Tamlin’s protection to escape the autumn court). And worse still, Feyre as someone new to Prythian, is not even aware of what other options would potentially be helpful, a fact both Tamlin and Rhysand use very effectively to keep her in their courts.
Rhysand using Tamlin’s abuse as a comparison to make himself look better
We also see, from very early in the book, that Feyre compares Tamlin and Rhysand, and that Rhysand does the same, highlighting that Rhysand ‘gives her a choice’, that is, does not control her like Tamlin does. How many times does Rhysand say “It’s your choice, Feyre Darling”? Even when actively hiding her other options at the summer quote from her (quote from above), he still says “it’s your choice.” And Feyre believes him. After agreeing to work with Rhys, Feyre thinks “Always—it was always my choice with him these days. Yet he hadn’t let me go back to the Spring Court during those two visits—because he knew how badly I needed to get away from it?” Even when Rhysand does control her in the exact same way as Tamlin did, she justifies it by thinking about instances where he did not do that.
We see Rhysand control her choices in other ways as well, beyond just brute force. He needs her as bait with the Attor, so he just doesn’t tell her that part of the plan. If he’s not sure she’ll agree to his preferred choice, he just won’t offer it. Or he’ll withhold information that might lead her to make a different choice, like he did with Tarquin and the Summer Court potentially helping her.
This is Rhysand’s preferred method of manipulating and controlling Feyre. Withhold any information that might lead her to disagree. When he sends her into the Weaver’s cottage to retrieve his mother’s ring, he doesn’t tell her that a large part of why he’s having her risk her life is to essentially “try out” to be his wife. (sidenote, how lucky is Feyre that his mom is dead? Having a mother in law who sets up life and death trials for you to “prove” you’re worthy of her son and him not only going along with it, but manipulating you into doing those trials, is the stuff of nightmares) Rhysand isn’t sure she’d actually do what he wants? Just don’t tell her what she’s doing. Azriel even points out that this trial is unnecessary and they could test Feyre in less dangerous and triggering ways, but Rhysand wants her to try out to be his wife, so shoving her into triggering and dangerous situations needlessly it is.
Nowhere is this more effectively illustrated than in the Court of Nightmares subplot. This subplot was extremely informative and interesting for a lot of reasons, but I’ll limit my focus here to how Rhysand uses “it’s your choice” to manipulate Feyre. When the inner circle realizes they’ll need to obtain the orb from the CoN, Rhysand almost immediately tells Feyre that he’s considering asking her to sit this mission out. (Note that this implies that he has another plan for how to obtain the orb than the plan they eventually go with). He by this point is well aware the Feyre desperately wants to be in the center of the action, as she’s previously told him pretty much exactly that (not to mention all the mind invasions). Saying he’s contemplating leaving her behind is an all but guaranteed way to get her to agree to whatever he suggests.
So Feyre agrees to “pretend” to be his pet, his whore, ostensibly to distract the CoN from Azriel because it’s the only way they can steal the orb. And while they’re there, we see Rhysand display just how much power he has over the CoN by torturing Kier for daring to insult Feyre. He clearly displays that he could have walked right in, demanded the orb, and tortured anyone who dared defy him, with no one objecting. Which means that he had Feyre put herself in an extremely vulnerable and triggering situation (again) for no logical reason (again). Well, almost no logical reason. He did get openly turned on by it, as Feyre notes when she says his eyes glazed over looking at her. But what does Feyre focus on when she’s angry at him about this? Not that this entire degrading “act” was completely unnecessary, but that his anger at Kier’s insult might be a warning sign that he’s going to prevent her from helping in the future. And what does Rhysand say? “I’m not [Tamlin]. I will never be him. Act like him. He locked you up… Stop comparing. Stop comparing me to him.” So he effectively manipulates her into ignoring the real issue, that he put her in such a degrading and triggering position when he could have just bullied the CoN into giving them the orb, and instead focusing on how he’s “better” than Tamlin. That he offers her a “choice.” The fact that it’s a coerced and manipulated choice, like most choices he offers her, doesn’t even register with Feyre.
I thought this was the most interesting and unique aspect of ACOMAF. There are of course so many other ways that Rhysand manipulates Feyre into ignoring his abuse (gaslighting, DARVO, help from the IC, taking advantage of Feyre’s own psychological struggles, forced emotional intimacy, etc) but I thought exploring how Feyre’s prior abusive experiences aided him was a unique and fascinating story. I really appreciated this aspect and just got so much from it.

In fan-created works, Maedhros and Fingon are often depicted as a couple. Here I’ll argue why this is a—although not the only—possible interpretation of the text. I will begin by giving a short overview over their characters (1.). Then I will argue that characters in the Legendarium in general need not be straight, including Elves (2.), and that in particular, Maedhros and Fingon likely aren’t (3.). In (4.) I will discuss why they make most sense as a couple, both (a) in terms of character choices and actions and (b) in terms of parallels to Beren and Lúthien, followed by (c) a discussion of a potential Ancient Greek parallel. Of course, there are (5.) counter-arguments. However, I will (6.) conclude that despite these, reading Maedhros and Fingon as a romantic couple in the tragedy that is the Silmarillion is a valid interpretation of the text and fully in the tradition of the epics. This is a substantially reworked version of an essay I posted over a year ago here and here.
1. The Characters: Maedhros and Fingon

• Maedhros is the eldest son of Fëanor: diplomatic, intelligent, a general; tall, copper hair, beautiful; indomitable and dangerous—“Maidros tall/the eldest, whose ardour yet more eager burnt/than his father’s flame, than Fëanor’s wrath” (HoME III, p. 135). He is doomed through his Oath and his actions as a Kinslayer and the Doom of Mandos.
• Fingon is the eldest son of Fingolfin: “Of all the children of Finwë [Fingon the valiant] is justly most renowned: for his valour was as a fire and yet as steadfast as the hills of stone; wise he was and skilled in voice and hand; troth and justice he loved and bore good will to all, both Elves and Men, hating Morgoth only; he sought not his own, neither power nor glory, and death was his reward.” (HoME V, p. 251) He is also doomed, because he too is a Kinslayer.

2. Characters in the Legendarium Need Not Be Straight
There are several characters in the Legendarium who are explicitly said never to have married for reasons that can very well be read as something other than heterosexuality. Several characters remain unmarried because they are not interested in marriage; instead, they much prefer to spend their entire lives in military environments populated entirely by men, for instance:

• The last king of Gondor before Aragorn: “Eärnur was a man like his father in valour, but not in wisdom. He was a man of strong body and hot mood; but he would take no wife, for his only pleasure was in fighting, or in the exercise of arms. His prowess was such that none in Gondor could stand against him in those weapons-sports in which he delighted, seeming rather a champion than a captain or king, and retaining his vigour and skill to a later age than was natural.” (LOTR, p. 1052) This really could be a description of Richard the Lionheart from Ivanhoe.
• Boromir: “Rather he was a man after the sort of King Eärnur of old, taking no wife and delighting chiefly in arms; fearless and strong, but caring little for lore, save the tales of old battles.” (LOTR, p. 1056)

Concerning Elves, we are told that “it is contrary to the nature of the Eldar to live unwedded” (HoME X, p. 255), and the Elves tended to marry young, just after reaching majority (HoME X, p. 210). However, not every Elf actually marries. LACE specifies: “Marriage, save for rare ill chances and strange fates, was the natural course of life for all the Eldar” (HoME X, p. 210), which would account of Aegnor, who loved a human woman, never marrying. (More specifically, some 10% in each later generation do not marry (NoME, p. 111).) I would argue that these strange fates—as LACE terms it, I wouldn’t call it that—can include Elves being gay.
3. Maedhros and Fingon Might Not Be
Fingon was born in Y.T. 1260 (NoME, p. 164) and Maedhros would very likely have been older. This means Fingon was some 2280 sun years old when he reached Beleriand (I’m going with the HoME version of calculating years and ages because I really have trouble with squaring the NoME version with the Annals, the Silmarillion and LOTR).
Turgon, Fingon’s younger brother, is married and has a daughter before the Noldor leave Valinor. Curufin, Fëanor’s fifth son, and Angrod, Finarfin’s second son, are married and have sons. Maglor and Caranthir, Fëanor’s second and fourth sons respectively, also seem to be married (HoME XII, p. 318).
Maedhros and Fingon are definitely the two most eligible bachelors among the Noldor. Quite apart from the political desirability for anyone to bind their family to Fëanor’s eldest son (and heir: the Noldor seem to follow primogeniture, as the Shibboleth speaks of Fëanor’s “position and rights as his eldest son”, HoME XII, p. 343), Maedhros is explicitly said to be beautiful: his mother-name Maitimo means the “well-shaped one”, and “he was of beautiful bodily form” (HoME XII, p. 353). Fingon is the first son and heir of Fingolfin, the only other person who seems to have been as important as Fëanor among the Noldor: “High princes were Fëanor and Fingolfin, the elder sons of Finwë, honoured by all in Aman” (The Silmarillion, p. 70). While we never get much of a description, Fingon is given a name beginning with the element fin for hair, and “In the case of Fingon it was suitable; he wore his long dark hair in great plaits braided with gold.” (HoME XII, p. 345) We know that Elves find “hair of exceptional loveliness” attractive (HoME XII, p. 340). So we have two attractive and politically highly desirable princes here.
Yet Fingon has “no wife or child” (HoME XII, p. 345), while “Maedros the eldest [son of Fëanor] appears to have been unwedded” (HoME XII, p. 318).
Would it really be so surprising if these two princes, quite certainly among the most eligible bachelors in Valinor for any parents looking for a political match for their daughters, over two millennia old by the time we meet them and with a lot of married much younger siblings and cousins, but still unmarried, might not be straight?
4. Why I See Them as a Couple
(a) The Plot
We don’t know anything about what Maedhros and Fingon were doing in Valinor, apart from the facts that they were friends, that Morgoth’s lies came between them, and that Maedhros went into exile in Formenos with Fëanor (and Finwë) after Fëanor had drawn a sword on Fingolfin.
In Beleriand, Maedhros runs a military from his icy fortress on the Hill of Himring, while his younger brothers run kingdoms as his vassals. Meanwhile, Fingon spends most of his time in Beleriand fighting Morgoth; the driving political force of the non-Fëanorian side of the Noldor seems to be Fingolfin.
I would argue that a lot of Fingon’s and Maedhros’s actions and reactions make a lot more sense if seen through the lens of love for each other and a partnership that was broken in Valinor by Morgoth’s lies but was rekindled after Thangorodrim.
(i) Fingon
Fingon’s stated reasons for wanting to go to Middle-earth—exploring Middle-earth and building a kingdom there—don’t make sense. Fingon never does anything even remotely connected with building his own kingdom from the moment he sets foot on Beleriand—and yet he’s the driving force behind Fingolfin leaving Aman. He jumps in at Alqualondë, (probably) thinking that the Noldor under Fëanor were attacked. Afterwards he keeps driving the Noldor forwards, even after the Doom of Mandos. He is one of the leaders across the Helcaraxë. Yet the first thing we are told he does upon reaching Beleriand is going after his father’s main political rival—who Fingon thinks abandoned him to the Helcaraxë. Maedhros has been a captive of Morgoth for thirty years, and even his brothers apparently never tried to rescue him. But Fingon decides to do it anyway and succeeds through sheer stubbornness with some very convenient divine help. He then proceeds to fight Morgoth’s armies and monsters for four hundred years. When Fingolfin gives Fingon’s fiefdom to the House of Hador, Fingon doesn’t have a problem with it. When Fingolfin dies, Fingon becomes High King and Maedhros immediately starts acting as the new High King, organising an alliance against Morgoth called the Union of Maedhros. Maedhros does all of the planning and even appoints the day of the Fifth Battle (HoME XI, p. 165). (See also here.)
However, Fingon is involved in all of this: “Fingon, ever the friend of Maedhros, took counsel with Himring” (The Silmarillion, p. 224). Fingon doesn’t seem to have the slightest problem with Maedhros apparently usurping him, exactly like he doesn’t have a problem with Fingolfin handing Dor-lómin to his human vassal.
I would argue that all of this makes sense if we assume that Fingon’s primary motivation is Maedhros. Maedhros has sworn the Oath, he will go to Beleriand, so Fingon has to follow. Fëanor’s army is fighting and it isn’t looking good for them, so Fingon has to jump in. Maybe he saw Maedhros in the fray. He follows Maedhros to Middle-earth. Once in Middle-earth, he follows Maedhros to literal hell on Earth and gets him out. And when he becomes High King, he and Maedhros seem to run the office with an arrangement where Fingon, the beloved hero, is the figurehead and Maedhros, who, unlike Fingon, is unlikely to be popular anywhere outside of East Beleriand due to his own and his brothers’ actions but is a politician born and bred, does the planning. But then, in a battle orchestrated by Maedhros, Fingon is brutally killed.
(ii) Maedhros
Maedhros confronts his obviously dangerous and mad father about returning for Fingon and is the only son of Fëanor to break through whatever hold Fëanor has on them at that point to stand aside at Losgar (note that Celegorm and Curufin don’t request that Aredhel be given passage and don’t refuse to burn the ships), even though “Morgoth’s lies came between” Fingon and Maedhros in the past (The Silmarillion, p. 97).
After being rescued by Fingon, Maedhros recovers from his decades of torment at Morgoth’s hands, returns to politics and keeps his brothers under control. Importantly, Maedhros renounces his claim to the crown and hands the kingship to Fingolfin, Fingon’s father. He also gives Fingolfin horses “in atonement of his losses” on the Helcaraxë (The Silmarillion, p. 135), which seems strange because it’s not like Fingolfin fought in the theft of the ships that he was later denied passage on by Fëanor—only Fingon would have had a moral “right” to be allowed on the ships. But maybe it’s of interest that the commander in Fingolfin’s army whose fighting style relies on horses is Fingon (“Then Fingon prince of Hithlum rode against [Glaurung] with archers on horseback, and hemmed him round with a ring of swift riders”, The Silmarillion, p. 132).
[Note: The question whether Maedhros had to “atone” for anything he did to Fingolfin is a thorny one. As Fëanor’s heir, Maedhros did inherit a responsibility for Fëanor’s actions (as well as the privileges coming with being the eldest son of the eldest son of Finwë). On the other hand, Maedhros himself had nothing to do with the burning of the ships by Fëanor; he openly opposed it. Moreover, Fingon, not Fingolfin, had fought in the battle where the Fëanorians won the ships, and Fingolfin had already begun to call himself “Finwë Nolofinwë” before Fëanor burned the ships: “Fingolfin had prefixed the name Finwë to Nolofinwë before the Exiles reached Middle-earth. This was in pursuance of his claim to be the chieftain of all the Ñoldor after the death of Finwë, and so enraged Fëanor that it was no doubt one of the reasons for his treachery in abandoning Fingolfin and stealing away with all the ships.” (HoME XII, p. 344, fn omitted) Neither Fëanor not Fingolfin was entirely blameless in this mess between them, but Fingon had nothing to do with this.]
When Fingolfin dies and Fingon becomes High King, Maedhros and Fingon seem to work perfectly in tandem. Maedhros orchestrates and plans the Fifth Battle—but the field is lost because of treachery in his own army. And then, Fingon is brutally killed in this battle which Maedhros had planned.
After the Nirnaeth Maedhros completely shatters. He retreats to a hill in Beleriand named Amon Ereb (The Silmarillion, p. 140), which reminded me of another character who retreats to a hill after a grave loss. After Aragorn’s death, a mourning Arwen lies down on a hill, Cerin Amroth, to die (LOTR, p. 1063).
But of course Maedhros doesn’t die yet. This story isn’t kind enough for that. Instead, he falls deeper and deeper into a cycle of blood-shedding: first Doriath, then the Havens of Sirion, and then the guards of Eonwë. And then Maedhros becomes the first and only Elf to successfully kill himself.
(iii) Some Descriptions Of Their Relationship
We know that Fingon and Maedhros used to be very close in Aman, but that they were estranged through lies—and that despite the estrangement and his belief that Maedhros callously abandoned him in Araman, Fingon can’t forget their bond: “Long before, in the bliss of Valinor, before Melkor was unchained, or lies came between them, Fingon had been close in friendship with Maedhros; and though he knew not yet that Maedhros had not forgotten him at the burning of the ships, the thought of their ancient friendship stung his heart.” (The Silmarillion, p. 124)
Yet they manage to overcome their estrangement: “Thus he rescued his friend of old from torment, and their love was renewed; and the hatred between the houses of Fingolfin and Fëanor was assuaged.” (HoME XI, p. 32)
In the LQ2, Tolkien inserted a new subheading for this story of Fingon’s rescue of Maedhros from Thangorodrim: “Of Fingon and Maedros” (HoME XI, p. 177). This is reminiscent of three other titles in the Silmarillion: “Of Aulë and Yavanna”, “Of Thingol and Melian”, “Of Beren and Lúthien”—three married couples.
Then there are the gifts. Gifts of jewellery are an important part of the marriage rituals of the Noldor; for instance, the bridegroom’s father would give a jewel to the bride (HoME X, p. 211).
In one version, Fëanor gives Maedhros the Elessar and Maedhros gives it to Fingon: “at the top of the page my father pencilled: ‘The Green Stone of Fëanor given by Maidros to Fingon.’ This can hardly be other than a reference to the Elessar that came in the end to Aragorn” (HoME XI, p. 176–177). The Elessar was later used as a (pre-)marriage gift by Galadriel, taking the role of Arwen’s mother, to Arwen’s future husband Aragorn (HoME X, p. 211). Meanwhile, in another origin story of the Elessar, Celebrimbor, who in this version is in love with Galadriel, creates the (second) Elessar for her and gives it to her as a gift (UT, p. 324–325). The Elessar seems to be associated with the concept of being given as a gift for reasons of romantic love.
Moreover, during the siege of Angband, Maedhros and Fingon would regularly send each other valuable gifts, such as the Dragon-helm forged by Telchar: “Maedhros afterwards sent it as a gift to Fingon, with whom he often exchanged tokens of friendship, remembering how Fingon had driven Glaurung back to Angband.” (UT, p. 98) This seems to have been such a regular occurrence that it wasn’t a problem for Fingon, who wasn’t strong enough to properly use the Dragon-helm, which had not been made for an Elf, to give it to the human Hador (see UT, p. 98).
Here it’s also important to discuss just how little material we have about Maedhros and Fingon. They don’t get any dialogue together apart from the rescue scene, and both appear far less often in the Silmarillion overall than Celegorm and Curufin, purely because they aren’t protagonists of one of the three Great Tales, but the protagonists of the frame narrative, the War of the Jewels. There’s also the fact that in-universe, the narrator of the Quenta Silmarillion is Pengolodh, a subject of Turgon who was born in Nevrast and spent most of his life in Gondolin (HoME XI, p. 396–397). Turgon, his king, notoriously hates the Sons of Fëanor because his wife Elenwë died on the Ice (HoME XII, p. 345). Turgon wouldn’t have liked any chatter concerning his brother’s close relationship with the chief son of Fëanor, obviously, as u/xi-feng points out. And yet, their affection shines through anyway, even though the narrator clearly hates the sons of Fëanor.
Here I think it’s also important to discuss the meaning of the word “friend”. Maedhros and Fingon are always referred to as friends, not as lovers, of course. But in the early 20^th century, language was different. “Friend” could be used by a man for his male lover. In Maurice, the title character says this to Alec—upon waking up after spending the night together: “‘Did you ever dream you’d a friend, Alec? Nothing else but just “my friend”, he trying to help you and you him. A friend’, he repeated, sentimental suddenly. ‘Someone to last your whole life and you his. I suppose such a thing can’t really happen outside sleep.’” (Maurice, ch. 38, p. 175) Or later, when Maurice is discussing the Code Napoleon with Mr Lasker Jones, Maurice asks, hopefully: “You mean that a Frenchman could share with a friend and yet not go to prison?” (“share” in this context means, to quote Mr Jones, “unite”) (Maurice, ch. 41, p. 188). As such, the use of the word “friend” does not mean that they can’t have been lovers.
(b) The Shared Motif With Beren and Lúthien
Apart from the titles (“Of Fingon and Maedros”, “Of Beren and Lúthien”), there’s a very impactful parallel between the stories of Maedhros and Fingon and of Beren and Lúthien: the motif of “rescue with singing”.
The motif of a rescuer singing a song to ascertain where a prisoner is being kept is inspired by the story of Richard the Lionheart, who’d gotten himself kidnapped in Europe on his return from a crusade, and his minstrel Blondel de Nesle, who “went from castle to castle, searching for the king who was held in an unknown location, and singing one of Richard’s favourite songs. When he came to where Richard was imprisoned, the king joined in, revealing his presence.” (Wayne & Scull, A Reader’s Companion, p. 603–604)
Tolkien uses the motif twice in the Silmarillion: for Lúthien’s rescue of Beren from Sauron, and for Fingon’s rescue of Maedhros from Morgoth (Wayne & Scull, A Reader’s Companion, p. 604). [And once in LOTR, for Sam’s rescue of Frodo from the Orcs of the Tower of Cirith Ungol—but my argument here is not about Frodo and Sam.]
I would argue that this element, which is central to the love story of Beren and Lúthien, who went against everyone she knew to search and find Beren against terrible odds, invites seeing the other story in the Silmarillion where exactly the same happens—and which in fact happens before the story of Beren and Lúthien—as a romance, even more so since Tolkien gave this element to Beren and Lúthien first and then, ten years later, to Maedhros and Fingon. In other words, this powerful element can double as a tertium comparationis.
(i) Beren and Lúthien
“In that hour Lúthien came, and standing upon the bridge that led to Sauron’s isle she sang a song that no walls of stone could hinder. Beren heard, and he thought that he dreamed; for the stars shone above him, and in the trees nightingales were singing. And in answer he sang a song of challenge that he had made in praise of the Seven Stars, the Sickle of the Valar that Varda hung above the North as a sign for the fall of Morgoth. Then all strength left him and he fell down into darkness.” (The Silmarillion, p. 204–205)
(ii) Maedhros and Fingon
“Therefore [Fingon] dared a deed which is justly renowned among the feats of the princes of the Noldor: alone, and without the counsel of any, he set forth in search of Maedhros; and aided by the very darkness that Morgoth had made he came unseen into the fastness of his foes. High spoon the shoulders of Thangorodrim he climbed, and looked in despair upon the desolation of the land; but no passage or crevice could he find though which he might come within Morgoth’s stronghold. Then in defiance of the Orcs, who cowered still in the dark vaults beneath the earth, he took his harp and sang a song of Valinor that the Noldor made of old, before strife was born among the sons of Finwë; and his voice rang in the mournful hollows that had never heard before aught save cries of fear and woe. Thus Fingon found what he sought. For suddenly above him far and faint his song was taken up, and a voice answering called to him. Maedhros it was that sang amid his torment.” (The Silmarillion, p. 124)
(iii) Parallels
There are several parallels between the stories of Beren and Lúthien and of Maedhros and Fingon. There is the parallel of the titles. There is the element of a rescuer going into incredible danger in lands controlled by a Dark Lord (Sauron’s fortress and Morgoth’s realm respectively). There is the element of the song sung by the rescuer and taken up by the captive. There is the element of some very helpful divine intervention through animal-shaped followers of the Valar: Huan, the hound that Oromë gave to Celegorm in Aman, who takes Lúthien to Beren’s dungeon and fights Sauron and his wolves (The Silmarillion, p. 202, 204–205), and Thorondor, the Eagle of Manwë who stays Fingon’s hand and takes him up to where Maedhros hangs (The Silmarillion, p. 124–125). (Tolkien considered Huan and Thorondor as beings of the same order, although what exactly, Maiar or animals “raised to a higher level”, see HoME X, p. 410–411, isn’t consistent throughout his writings.)
Since the tale of Beren and Lúthien is the love story of the Legendarium and it’s the couple that others are compared to and held up against—the references in the Tale of Aragorn and Arwen (LOTR, p. 1058–1059) are not subtle—I argue that reading Maedhros and Fingon, whose story contains the same very distinct elements, as a romantic couple too does not go against canon.
c) Ancient Greece and the Influence of the Classics
The Silmarillion, despite all the Germanic and other Northern influences and Catholic elements, reminds me of nothing so much as a Greek tragedy or epic. There is a Greek influence throughout the Legendarium, both in terms of plot and themes, especially in the War of the Jewels, and in terms of small linguistic elements. Lúthien before Mandos reads like a gender-swapped Orpheus and Eurydice before Hades with a somewhat better ending. Tolkien himself calls the tale of Beren and Lúthien “a kind of Orpheus-legend in reverse, but one of Pity not of Inexorability” (Letters, Letter 153, p. 193).
If Lúthien and Beren are Orpheus and Eurydice, based on Lúthien’s song moving Mandos to pity and making him return Beren (and her) to life, I posit that Maedhros and Fingon are Orestes and Pylades, who were considered lovers in Antiquity: see (Pseudo-)Lucian’s Amores, at [47]. This is not an exact parallel, of course, but when reading the Silmarillion, I was reminded of them, with elements from both Euripides’s Iphigenia in Tauris and Goethe’s Iphigenie auf Tauris:

• The princes who are cousins and faithful friends.
• The element of kinslaying, with the cursed lover bearing significantly more responsibility than the other lover, who is however also involved (Orestes kills his mother Clytemnestra; Pylades is either instrumental in Orestes’s killing of Clytemnestra (Aeschylus) or at least present during it (Euripides).
• Orestes is cursed due to kinslayings (in Euripides and Goethe). The curse of the house of Atreus (also known as the curse of Tantalus) affects his whole family. This curse is a prophecy by the gods that says that in every following generation of the family, there will be a kinslayer, and that every member of the family will be drawn into a cycle of death and destruction.
• Orestes demands of Pylades that he leave him to die and save himself (Euripides). Orestes wants to die because he thinks this is how he can escape from the Erinyes (or Furies), the personification of the curse he’s under.
• Orestes is saved from torment and “hell” by Pylades and Iphigenia (Goethe).
• The characters eventually escape with a lot of divine intervention by Athena (Euripides).

A drama of kinslayings and curses and torment and an eventual escape with the help of divine intervention—but it’s also a tragedy about two warriors who love each other. Because they did love each other, as lovers: Goethe has Orestes liken Pylades to a butterfly, and Pylades respond with “Da fing mein Leben an, als ich dich liebte”—“My life began when I loved you” (Goethe’s Iphigenie, Act II, Scene 1).
In fact, in the 19^th century, saying that two men were like Orestes and Pylades became a way of saying that they were gay (see Victor Hugo’s Les Misérables, Vol. III (Marius), Book Fourth—The Friends of the A B C, ch. 1; moreover, Lord Byron uses “Orestes and Pylades” to describe his relationship with a male lover in his Letter 75—credit to u/Mastermaid).
Certainly, there are also many differences, but then there are also many differences between Orpheus and Eurydice and Beren and Lúthien, and yet, the inspiration is there. I would say that comparing Maedhros and Fingon to Orestes and Pylades is valid, and it’s certainly one element of why I read them as a couple.
5. Counter-arguments
Of course, there are many reasons not to read Maedhros and Fingon as a couple.
a) Elves and marriages between (half-)cousins
Maedhros and Fingon are half-cousins, and there’s a statement in the Silmarillion which could be read as a definitive statement on whether Elves would marry among first cousins: “The Eldar wedded not with kin so near, nor ever before had any desired to do so.” (The Silmarillion, p. 161) However, this is repeatedly contradicted in the text, including in LACE, which states that first cousins “might marry, but seldom did so, or desired to do so, unless one of the parents of each were far-sundered in kin” (HoME X, p. 234), and in one version, Galadriel and Celeborn are (full) first cousins (UT, p. 299) (see also here).
b) Fingon’s motivation was to heal the feud
You could also point to the statement in the Silmarillion that Fingon’s motivation was at least partly to avoid a civil war between the two hosts of the Noldor: “Then Fingon the valiant, son of Fingolfin, resolved to heal the feud that divided the Noldor, before their Enemy should be ready for war; for the earth trembled in the Northlands with the thunder of the forges of Melkor underground.” (The Silmarillion, p. 124) However, I would point to the sentence immediately following this one, which is: “Long before, in the bliss of Valinor, before Melkor was unchained, or lies came between them, Fingon had been close in friendship with Maedhros; and though he knew not yet that Maedhros had not forgotten him at the burning of the ships, the thought of their ancient friendship stung his heart.” (The Silmarillion, p. 124) Fingon certainly seems to have been more motivated by emotions than logic or politics in this scene. The politics side of the equation certainly goes out of the window when Fingon agrees to mercy-kill Maedhros, or when he prays to Manwë to help him kill Maedhros. Also, rescuing your father’s main political rival who everyone on your side thinks is as much of a traitor as Fëanor doesn’t seem like a great way to deflate tensions between two trigger-happy armies. This point also doesn’t take away from the parallels with Beren and Lúthien.
c) Fingon is Gil-galad’s father in the published Silmarillion
Christopher Tolkien says that he himself inserted the “son of Fingon” into the passage in Aldarion and Erendis in UT (HoME XII, p. 351) as well as in the Silmarillion (“in the published text […] Fingon is an editorial alteration of Felagund”, HoME XII, p. 349). He further says that Gil-galad son of Orodreth was JRR Tolkien’s “last word on the subject”, that it “would […] have been much better to have left Gil-galad’s parentage obscure” in the Silmarillion published by Christopher Tolkien, and that JRR Tolkien’s idea of Gil-galad son of Fingon was “ephemeral” (HoME, p. 351). Tolkien’s last words on the issue were that Fingon has “no wife or child” (HoME XII, p. 345). It’s also really important plot-wise that Fingon has no heir, and Fingon’s lieutenant Húrin, just before making an accurate prophecy concerning Eärendil, says to Turgon: “For you are the last of the House of Fingolfin, and in you lives the last hope of the Eldar.” (CoH, p. 58) (See also here.)
d) Maedhros and Fingon were melotorni and not romantic lovers
Carl Hostetter (u/cfhostetter) argues that Maedhros and Fingon would have been melotorni. The term melotorni comes from the following passage about love: “In this matter the Elven-tongues make distinctions. To speak of Quenya: Love, which Men might call “friendship” (but for the greater strength and warmth and permanency with which it was felt by the Quendi) was represented by √mel. This was primarily a motion or inclination of the fëa, and therefore could occur between persons of the same sex or different sexes. It included no sexual or procreative desire, though naturally in Incarnates the difference of sex altered the emotion, since “sex” is held by the Eldar to belong also to the fëa and not solely to the hröa, and is therefore not wholly included in procreation. Such persons were often called melotorni ‘love-brothers’ and meletheldi ‘love-sisters’.” (NoME, p. 20)
However, I don’t argue that given the textual evidence, Maedhros and Fingon can’t have been melotorni. I don’t argue that they can’t share philia (the friend bond), using C.S. Lewis’s terms for similar concepts from The Four Loves, and that eros (romantic love) is the only possible interpretation. I argue that the text points in the direction of a romantic relationship for reasons I have already mentioned: in particular, the surprising fact that both of them, the oldest of the third generation of the House of Finwë, were unmarried and never showed interest in marrying (unlike Finrod, for example); the gift of the Elessar, which has romantic connotations when Celebrimbor gives it to Galadriel and is in fact used as a marriage gift between Aragorn and Arwen; the parallels with Beren and Lúthien, the preeminent romantic relationship in the Legendarium; and the Greek influences.
By the way, again about the Elessar: it seems that everyone accepts that Celebrimbor is in love with Galadriel in that one version in UT, p. 324. And yet, all we know of what Celebrimbor feels for Galadriel is this: “But you know that I love you (though you turned to Celeborn of the Trees), and for that love I will do what I can, if haply by my art your grief can be lessened.” (UT, p. 324) The term used is “love”, not “in love with”. Still, no-one would doubt that this is romantic love, given the circumstances (that is, Celebrimbor mentioning Celeborn and giving Galadriel the Elessar). But love is also the term used for Maedhros and Fingon’s relationship (HoME XI, p. 32). So why, given the term and the circumstances (the Elessar and the parallel with Beren and Lúthien) can’t this be romantic—and in this case, requited—love too?
e) Elves don’t experience sexual desire without a concomitant desire to have children
Concerning marriage among the Elves, we are told that “The ‘desire’ for marriage and bodily union was represented by √yer; but this never in the uncorrupted occurred without ‘love’ √mel, nor without the desire for children.” (NoME, p. 20)
This seems quite definitive, doesn’t it? But it’s clear that this isn’t how things were in practice: note the term “in the uncorrupted”. By any interpretation, the Kinslayers of Alqualondë would not fall under “the uncorrupted”. This is confirmed by HoME X, p. 210: “Even when in after days, as the histories reveal, many of the Eldar in Middle-earth became corrupted, and their hearts darkened by shadow that lies upon Arda, seldom is any tale told of deeds of lust among them.”
And many, many expressions of innocuous free will among Elves are stated to be products of Arda Marred, the Shadow, corruption and the like. Indis loving Finwë while he was married to Míriel? “The Shadow” (HoME X, p. 247). Finwë accepting the severance of his marriage to Míriel through his second marriage to Indis? Accepting (and implicitly furthering) “the marring”, as Manwë tells Finwë: “For the severance cometh from the marring of Arda; and those who accept this permission accept the marring, whereas the bereaved who remain steadfast belong in spirit and will to Arda Unmarred.” (HoME X, p. 260). Míriel’s wish to remain unhoused? “The Shadow” (HoME X, p. 222). The Noldor leaving Aman, and the Sindar never getting there? “[T]he effort to preserve the Elves incorrupt there had proved a failure if they were to be left free: many had refused to come to the Blessed Realm, many had revolted and left it.” (HoME X, p. 401) For some of the Valar, even all unrequited love among Elves is part of Arda Marred/the Shadow (while for other Valar it’s part of free will) (HoME X, p. 211). That is, many, many natural and innocuous expressions of free will are expressions of “corruption”/Arda Marred/the Shadow.
In this context it’s also important to say that the term “corrupted” doesn’t necessarily mean evil in the Legendarium. It’s not always a moral statement, but can simply denote that something—or someone—is part of Arda Marred. Basically everything is part of Arda Marred, especially Elves and Men (see e.g. HoME X, p. 244, 254–255). And importantly, this “corruption” is necessary for the Third Theme, with Eru taking notes from the Discord of Melkor and weaving them into his own music, and saying, “And thou, Melkor, shalt see that no theme may be played that hath not its uttermost source in me, nor can any alter the music in my despite. For he that attempteth this shall prove but mine instrument in the devising of things more wonderful, which he himself hath not imagined.’” (The Silmarillion, p. 5–6) (See in general here.)
f) As a Catholic born in the 19^th century, Tolkien would never have countenanced a romantic relationship between two male characters
Tolkien greatly appreciated Mary Renault’s writings (Letters, Letter 294, p. 377, “I was recently deeply engaged in the books of Mary Renault; especially the two about Theseus, The King Must Die, and The Bull from the Sea. A few days ago I actually received a card of appreciation from her; perhaps the piece of ‘Fan-mail’ that gives me the most pleasure.”), nominated E.M. Forster for the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1954 (see Dennis Wilson Wise, Mythlore), and was close with W.H. Auden (Letters, Letter 327, p. 411–412, “I regard him as one of my great friends”, credit to elethiomel on AO3). So I wouldn’t say that Tolkien being a Catholic is a major obstacle.
And it’s not like Tolkien had to personally agree with everything he wrote his characters, even his heroes and protagonists, as doing. Tolkien wrote Túrin marrying his sister and both Túrin and Nienor killing themselves, none of which is very Catholic either. The argument that Tolkien had to approve of homosexual relationships for Maedhros and Fingon to be in love is strange anyway—Maedhros in particular is a murderer many times over, and a suicide. But Maedhros loving Fingon romantically would be beyond the pale and impossible for a Catholic to write?
6. Conclusion
Maybe I’m too influenced by classical literature. In the Silmarillion, which I read as a Northern Iliad or Aeneid, maybe I expected to also find the element of the couple who are princes and warriors at war and who will die awful deaths in service of the tragedy. Maybe it’s because I knew of Achilles and Patroclus from Homer’s Iliad (who were seen as a couple even in English literature in the early modern period, see for instance Christopher Marlowe’s Edward II, Act I, or William Shakespeare’s Troilus and Cressida, Act V, Scene 1), and of Nisus and Euryalus from Virgil’s Aeneid. So maybe I was subconsciously looking for two princely warriors who would stand in this literary tradition. But then Tolkien himself was greatly impacted by Ancient Greek and Latin literature: “I was brought up in the Classics, and first discovered the sensation of literary pleasure in Homer.” (Letters, Letter 142, p. 172) We can refer to the classics to interpret Tolkien’s works. And I would argue that the text lends itself to my interpretation. I hope that they’ll meet again in Mandos or afterwards, without the burden of the Oath and the Doom, and that they can be happy despite the tragedy that was the First Age.
Sources in the comments due to character limit. Highlights in bold in quotes are mine.

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Malgeirgam, Malgeiru

Grionc heaved her freshly earned medal into her duffel bag with less care than she might’ve tossed a piece of scrap metal. It landed with a thud, a sound far too weighty for the flimsy honor it represented.
Looking back, she really should’ve seen it coming.
The Navy had to explain why it lost more ships to the High Council, and there was no better way to do it than making heroes out of the survivors. They were honored, their participation in the “victory” was not questioned, and the Navy didn’t have to deal with the embarrassment of the truth. Even better that the incompetent commander who made the stupid decision didn’t manage to stick around; no, he was a courageous martyr for the Malgeir people. What a story!
Grionc considered publicly protesting that decision, but the Terrans cautioned her against it… Euntribent had friends in high places. They recommended that she held her tongue until she regained command of Sixth Fleet, which was already going to be a difficult task; the newest victory opened doors, but politicking in the Fleet Council was never as simple as that.
Luckily, she had the support of her former subordinates, for what that was worth to the Fleet Council anyway. The whole command staff of the Oengro rallied behind her, outside the decision chamber.
“Your reinstatement hearing is in ten minutes. I hope you are ready,” Vastae’s voice cut through her thoughts as she turned to find him in the crowd.
The Fleet Council’s snail-paced decision-making had worked in her favor for once. Due to a disagreement between the Home Fleet Commander and a couple of other ambitious officers who also had friends in high places, Sixth Fleet still did not have a Fleet Commander months after she was stripped of command.
The committee, nine rotating Fleet Council members tasked with selecting a new commander, hadn’t yet settled on a candidate yet. Rumor had it, though, some hopefuls were on the brink of securing enough votes.
“Did you do your research on the committee as I asked?” Grionc asked, eyes sharp.
“Yes, Fleet Command— ma’am,” Vastae corrected himself, beaming the files to her datapad. “We’ve got the files on all nine members.”
She scrolled through the data with swift, practiced flicks of her wrist. The bulk of the information was just a repeat of what the Terrans had covertly handed to her, but there were pieces here and there that didn’t quite match up. Officially, the identities of the committee members were supposed to be a secret, but they were one of the worst kept secrets on Malgeiru. The Terrans certainly had no problems finding out who they were.
Vastae leaned in, his voice a low murmur. “You can count on three votes right away. That’s committee members 2, 5, and 9. They’ve somehow managed to keep their snouts above the stink of the Fleet Council, and they will make the decision based on competence. You are by far more qualified than any other applicant, so they will probably vote for you if you demonstrate your qualifications.”
Grionc nodded a quick thank-you, glad for his faith in her. Though she couldn’t fault their methods, the week she spent with the Terrans had not been the best for her self-confidence.
Vastae continued, “That’s about all the good news there is. Member 8 will vote for whoever pays them the most, and well… we’ve already spent every credit we had left in the Sixth Fleet’s general fund to get you an expedited hearing, so there’s not much we can do about their vote.”
“You shouldn’t have,” she mumbled softly.
Vastae waved her comment off and plowed on. “Of the remaining, members 1 and 3 are relatives of the Home Fleet Commander, whose nephew is one of the other candidates.”
“I suppose there’s no chance I can convince them on the merits of my case either?”
Vastae grinned momentarily at her joke. “Unfortunately not. And more bad news is we’re pretty sure members 4 and 6 are dining at the Home Fleet Commander’s table now too. Or at least that’s what we heard last night.”
“So that leaves committee member number 7. What’s their deal?” Grionc’s eyes flicked to the last unknown.
“They’re backing a special interest: the Granti remnant population. Their Navy-in-exile put up a candidate too, but I don’t think they’re being too serious about it. Just throwing one of theirs in the ring for show.”
“That sounds like I can sway them if I make some concessions to the Granti? Maybe give one of them a squadron command position? That’s not a bad idea anyway. We can certainly try to reconstitute Squadron 4 after what happened to their ships over Datsot—”
Vastae shrugged. “I don’t know. Could be worth a try. This is my first time dipping my paws into these treacherous waters and let me just say I’m not finding it an enjoyable experience so far.”
“Fair enough, Vastae,” Grionc acknowledged. “But even if I can pull member 7 to my side, and I get the three that you think will vote for me on merit, that still leaves me one vote short.”
“Yes, that seems to be where we are,” Vastae admitted, frowning. “We tried to brainstorm some ways to get us some quick money last night, but nothing came up. Do you have any ideas?”
Grionc shrugged, almost nonchalantly. “I guess I shall simply have to make a compelling case for the committee.”
“What did the Grass Eaters tell you to do? Didn’t you say they would give us a paw up on this one?” Vastae’s whiskers twitched with curiosity.
“They did,” Grionc replied, her tone even. “They said I should simply go into the meeting, do my best to present my case, and the committee will be convinced by the strength of my qualifications.”
Vastae chortled. “Present your case and the strength of your qualifications… These Grass Eaters clearly have zero experience with our Navy, and they must be as naïve as Tactical Officer Speinfoent, or should I say, Sphinx…”
Grionc chuckled slyly. “I wonder who leaked that story.”
Vastae’s gaze grew distant, thoughtful. “I think we should go the other route. Maybe we can find a way to cobble together some credits for member 8. If we mothball Squadron 12 and get an advance loan on the maintenance credits—”
Grionc’s paw shot up, squeezing his shoulders. “Don’t you dare, Vastae. If this fails, we’ll find another way. I’m not ready to start compromising the combat readiness of Sixth Fleet to pay bribes just yet. Let’s just see how this hearing pans out…”
Stood tall before the committee, her uniform crisp, the medals on her chest reflecting the dim light of the council chamber, Grionc explained to the committee honestly what the Terrans told her: the war was going badly, they were on the brink of defeat, and the Terrans had entrusted her with a plan to stave off defeat and go back on the offensive.
“That is an interesting proposal, High Fleet Commander Grionc,” committee member 2 said, his face covered with a black veil as a formality. Grionc pretended not to know who he was. “Assuming we buy your premise, can you explain this plan?”
Taking a deep breath that filled her lung with the recycled air of the chamber, she began to lay out the proposal. “The Terrans call this War Plan Anaconda.”
She laid out the plan in detail. She didn’t leave out a single contingency. The Terran war plan had so many of those, so many branches and considerations… it was like nothing else she had ever heard. Almost like they could see the future. Grionc hoped the committee would be as impressed by it as she was.
When she was done, member 9 adjusted his veil and coughed. “I see. I remain skeptical of the premise, but the plan seems comprehensive. However, you still have not explained what makes you more qualified to execute it than the other… choices who have come before this committee.”
“I have been with our new alien friends. I have an idea how they think and operate. Some parts of this plan will require their participation, so we will need a commander who understands our allies,” she said her tone even, rehearsing the line she had practiced countless times. “It’s either me, or we waste precious weeks while another learns to think like a Terran. And they would need to go to the Terran home system to—”
Before she could continue, the first committee member cut her off, “Enough! I’ve heard enough of this. The rest of you can’t seriously believe in these Grass Eaters. The first element of this— this war plan is to abandon Datsot, a core world of the Federation. Have you all forgotten our responsibilities?”
There was a murmur of agreement. Member 9 tilted his head. “That is the part which makes me hesitate too. High Fleet Commander, can you go over that part again for us?”
Suppressing a sigh, Grionc reset her stance and delved deeply into the Terran explanation for why Datsot was ultimately not defensible.
As for the skepticism, she did not blame the committee. Not one bit.
After all, she had not been easily convinced either.
Grionc blinked her eyes to adjust to the brighter outdoors.
“How did it go?” Vastae asked excitedly as she exited the chamber.
A smile creeped up on her face. “I’m back!”
Vastae punched his paws into the air in triumph, then lifted her up into the air in elation.
“Woohoo!” Vastae celebrated. “So, who ended up voting for you?”
“No idea. I guess they did buy my case,” she replied, smiling to hide her own confusion. “By the way, where did Speinfoent go? I haven’t seen him all day.”
“Bah. He went down to Bostruisa. I heard he’s got a social life now.”
“Oh, you mean that local celebrity that he was photographed having dinner with last time? Among other things…” she noted innocently.
“You saw that in the communication net too?!” Vastae gave her a mockingly severe look. “We’re not supposed to gossip about subordinates, High Fleet Commander.”
Granti High-Councilor-in-Exile Guinspiu paced rhythmically beside the cascading indoor waterfall of her home. The trickling water was supposed to calm her nerves, but instead, she felt a sudden chill as the fur on the back of her neck stood on end. Spinning around, her gaze locked onto the glossy visor of the familiar armored figure.
This time, though, she kept her cool, refusing to give the impression that she was startled. To think that she would be taken by surprise by a smaller creature of prey was beyond unsettling. Guinspiu had been hoping that her unshaken demeanor might eventually deter the Grass Eater operator from these pointless theatrics.
It hadn’t happened so far.
For a split second, she contemplated asking her hosts to upgrade her security system, but she doubted that would slow the Terran down. Would he even notice it?
“Good evening, Hersh,” she sighed in reluctant acknowledgment.
“And to you, Councilor Guinspiu,” Hersh said, taking off his helmet to tuck it under his arm. “We understand that you have held up your end of the bargain. Two extra yea votes on the committee, as we agreed.”
“Indeed, I have,” she nodded firmly. “The High Fleet Commander is a qualified candidate, and it is in the best interest of both our species.”
“I can’t agree more,” he said with a hint of respect. “But we had to be sure. And regardless of your pure motives, you will be compensated appropriately for your services. The credits have been routed to the account as you requested. Our operators have set up several dummy accounts and relays… anyway, I’m not an accountant and I didn’t ask for all the details. Just know that it is completely untraceable.”
“Good,” she replied with satisfaction, “I promised committee member 8 those credits, and my word is always good.”
“As for the other, more personal request you had…” Hersh continued, his tone serious.
“My mind is unchanged. What we discussed last time, that is still my wish,” she insisted.
Hersh exhaled slowly. “I don’t suppose—”
“No, I know it is risky. Maybe my mate is long dead, but I would still like to know,” she said earnestly.
“A promise is a promise, Councilor. We will do our best,” Hersh answered.
Her eyes shone with a mix of hope and sorrow. “I wouldn’t ask you to put your team in unnecessary danger if not for how important this is to me, Terran. I’ve thought about this for years. I know that many… don’t survive the camps. But he was strong, so I held out hope even after more than four years. And if he is no longer alive… at least I’ll know I’ve done my best.”
Hersh offered a comforting pat on her shoulder. “Worry not, Councilor. We will find your mate, and we will get him back for you, one way or another. That’s a Republic promise.”

Atlas, Luna

“Anyway, my deployment’s been redirected. And thank God because that backup plan to take out the trash at the Malgeir Fleet Council was a pretty shaky one to start with,” Mark said, glancing at Kara and John.
“Take out the trash? What are you, a North American mafioso in a twentieth century movie? I’m still not sure why they keep sending a dinosaur like you on these missions,” Kara teased. “We aren’t that short on operatives.”
He feigned offense at the barb. “Hey! Those movies are classic, and you can’t convince me otherwise. On the bright side, it looks like Hersh scored us a new rescue mission.”
“Rescue mission? I wasn’t aware the Resistance took any high-level hostages recently,” Kara said, puzzled.
Mark replied, “No, no, no. This is much, much dumber than that. Hersh says we need to go deep into Znosian territory and rescue some Granti’s mate on Grantor.”
Kara’s eyes widened. “Wait, did you say Grantor? Because I thought I heard you mention the alien-occupied planet of Grantor, at least… nine blinks behind enemy lines.”
“Hey, you’re catching on,” Mark confirmed, grimacing. “It’ll be all our asses on the line too, so I want you two to take the lead on the planning for this one. At least there’s no urgency on it and we can squeeze it in for a few months down the line.”
Kara thought for a moment. “We can always just burn the asset. Or better yet, we go in, get eyes on him with a bug, take a picture of him, send it back for proof of life, and we can get the Granti High Councilor to do whatever we want for the remainder of her life. Or rather, the remainder of his life since he’s the one stuck in a Znosian concentration camp and all. We don’t really need to rescue him at all. Or… wait a second, they don’t have impersonation technology detection, do they? We just rig up a few photos, I bet even a civilian-rated intelligence model can—”
“Yeah, that was my first instinct,” Mark admitted. “But… it’s nice to have the representative of an entire species in your pocket for a rainy day, even if they are down on their luck for now. Call it… investing in the future. Just treat it like a regular Red Zone rescue mission, except the enemies are dumber, blinder, and mostly unaware of our existence. Oh, and if we get caught, a xenocidal enemy might figure out where we live and come knocking at our door with less than honorable intentions, so you know, we gotta bring those oh-so-fun self-destruct options.”
Kara quoted, “Your mission… should you choose to accept it…”
“Hey! Who is the old movies connoisseur now?”
Previous Next
Chapter 41: Best Laid Plans

In Tolkien’s Legendarium writings there is a recurring motif of a rescuer finding a prisoner through singing a song and the prisoner answering. The motif of a rescuer singing a song to ascertain where a prisoner is being kept is inspired by the story of Richard the Lionheart, who’d gotten himself kidnapped in Europe on his return from a crusade, and his minstrel Blondel de Nesle, who “went from castle to castle, searching for the king who was held in an unknown location, and singing one of Richard’s favourite songs. When he came to where Richard was imprisoned, the king joined in, revealing his presence.” (Wayne & Scull, A Reader’s Companion, p. 603–604)
Tolkien uses the motif once in LOTR, for Sam’s rescue of Frodo from the Orcs of the Tower of Cirith Ungol, and twice in the Silmarillion, for Lúthien’s rescue of Beren from Sauron, and for Fingon’s rescue of Maedhros from Morgoth (Wayne & Scull, A Reader’s Companion, p. 604).
I was curious, however, when the motif first appeared in the Legendarium. For this purpose I decided to analyse the various iterations Tolkien wrote of each rescue.
Fingon and Maedhros
Fingon and Maedhros are two princes of the Noldor from the First Age. After Maedhros was imprisoned by Morgoth, Fingon decides to risk his life to save Maedhros from the terror of Angband.
In the earliest text, the Sketch of the Mythology, which was written in 1926 (HoME IV, p. 11), we are told that, “Fingon resolves to heal the feud. Alone he goes in search of Maidros. Aided by the vapours, which are now floating down and filling Hithlum, and by the wherewithal of Orcs and Balrogs to Angband, he finds him, but cannot release him.” (HoME IV, Sketch of the Mythology, p. 22) There is no mention yet of the musical back-and-forth that would later appear.
The same applies to the description of this event in the Lay of Leithian:
“Fingon daring alone went forth and sought for Maidros where he hung; in torment terrible he swung, his wrist in band of forgéd steel, from a sheer precipice where reel the dizzy senses staring down from Thangorodrim’s stony crown. The song of Fingon Elves yet sing, captain of armies, Gnomish king, who fell at last in flame of swords with his white banners and his lords. They sing how Maidros free he set, and stayed the feud that slumbered yet between the children proud of Finn.”
(HoME III, The Lay of Leithian, p. 212, l. 1647–1660)
These lines were composed between late March and 6 April 1928 (cf HoME III, p. 150).
It also doesn’t appear in the relevant passage in the Quenta Noldorinwa, which was written in 1930 (HoME IV, p. 76): “Then Finweg the valiant resolved to heal the feud. Alone he went in search of Maidros. Aided by the very mists of Morgoth, and by the withdrawal of the forces of Angband, he ventured into the fastness of his enemies, and at last he found Maidros hanging in torment. But he could not reach him to release him; and Maidros begged him to shoot him with his bow.” (HoME IV, The Quenta Noldorinwa, p. 102) (fn omitted)
The element of singing also doesn’t appear in The Earliest Annals of Beleriand (HoME IV, p. 295) and in The Later Annals of Beleriand (HoME V, p. 126); in both of these texts, the rescue of Maedhros by Fingon is only a sentence long.
The motif first appears for Fingon and Maedhros in the late 1930s.
In the Quenta Silmarillion, which was written in 1937–1938 (HoME V, p. 199–200), we are told that Fingon went to search Maedhros: “Aided by the very mists that Morgoth put abroad, he ventured unseen into the fastness of his enemies. High upon the shoulders of Thangorodrim he climbed, and looked in despair upon the desolation of the land. But no passage nor crevice could he find through which he might come within Morgoth’s stronghold. Therefore in defiance of the Orcs, who cowered still in the dark vaults beneath the earth, he took his harp and played a fair song of Valinor that the Gnomes had made of old, ere strife was born among the sons of Finwë; and his voice, strong and sweet, rang in the mournful hollows that had never heard before aught save cries of fear and woe. Thus he found what he sought. For suddenly above him far and faint his song was taken up, and a voice answering called to him. Maidros it was that sang amid his torment. But Fingon climbed to the foot of the precipice where his kinsman hung, and then could go no further; and he wept when he saw the cruel device of Morgoth.” (HoME V, The Quenta Silmarillion, p. 251, §§ 94–95)
The Grey Annals, written “later in the 1930s” (HoME XI, p. 3), refer to this motif too: “In the Quenta it is told how at the last he found Maidros, by singing a song of Valinor alone in the dark mountains, and was aided by Thorondor the Eagle, who bore him aloft unto Maidros; […].” (HoME XI, The Grey Annals, p. 32, § 61)
The version in the published Silmarillion is based on the aforementioned texts: the first paragraph of the rescue is primarily based on GA § 60, as well as on QS § 94 and LQ § 94, while the latter is based on QS § 95; the passage of Fingon singing and Maedhros answering is based on QS § 94 (Arda Reconstructed, Table 14).
The result is this:
The Silmarillion: “Then Fingon the valiant, son of Fingolfin, resolved to heal the feud that divided the Noldor, before their Enemy should be ready for war; for the earth trembled in the Northlands with the thunder of the forges of Melkor underground. Long before, in the bliss of Valinor, before Melkor was unchained, or lies came between them, Fingon had been close in friendship with Maedhros; and though he knew not yet that Maedhros had not forgotten him at the burning of the ships, the thought of their ancient friendship stung his heard. Therefore he dared a deed which is justly renowned among the feats of the princes of the Noldor: alone, and without the counsel of any, he set forth in search of Maedhros; and aided by the very darkness that Morgoth had made he came unseen into the fastness of his foes. High spoon the shoulders of Thangorodrim he climbed, and looked in despair upon the desolation of the land; but no passage or crevice could he find though which he might come within Morgoth’s stronghold. Then in defiance of the Orcs, who cowered still in the dark vaults beneath the earth, he took his harp and sang a song of Valinor that the Noldor made of old, before strife was born among the sons of Finwë; and his voice rang in the mournful hollows that had never heard before aught save cries of fear and woe.
Thus Fingon found what he sought. For suddenly above him far and faint his song was taken up, and a voice answering called to him. Maedhros it was that sang amid his torment. But Fingon claimed to the foot of the precipice where his kinsman hung, and then could go no further; and he wept when he saw the cruel device of Morgoth. Maedhros therefore, being in anguish without hope, begged Fingon to shoot him with his bow; and Fingon strung an arrow, and bent his bow.” (The Silmarillion, Of the Return of the Noldor, p. 124)
So the motif first appeared in the tale of Fingon and Maedhros in the late 1930s.
Beren and Lúthien
Beren and Lúthien need no introduction.
Beren and Finrod are captured by Sauron after trying to sneak into his newly conquered lands (ironically, Finrod’s former fortress of Minas Tirith, which has now become Tol-in-Gaurhoth) with the worst plan imaginable (“Nereb” and “Dungalef” – truly amazing). Sauron has Finrod’s soldiers killed, and after Finrod dies to save Beren from a werewolf, Beren is alone in Sauron’s dungeon and awaits death when Luthien arrives.
Tolkien began to work on this story very early. In the first version, the Tale of Tinúviel, which was written in 1917 (HoME II, p. 3), Lúthien rescues Beren from the lair of Tevildo, who would later be replaced by Thû and then Sauron in the narrative. Lúthien gains entrance to Tevildo’s lair by lying to his guard-cat (HoME II, Tale of Tinúviel, p. 23), spots Beren through a door that’s ajar (p. 25), and begins to speak very loudly to draw Beren’s attention (“Then partly in fear, partly in hope that her clear voice might carry even to Beren, Tinúviel began suddenly to speak very loud and tell her tale so that the chambers rang”, HoME II, Tale of Tinúviel, p. 25), and this plan works (“Now at those words, and she had shouted them even louder than before, a great crash was herd in the kitchens as of a number of vessels of metal and earthenware let suddenly fall”, HoME II, Tale of Tinúviel, p. 26).
So the element of Lúthien trying to gain Beren’s attention with her voice is already there, but there is no singing, and there is no back-and-forth, which is of course integral to the motif.
The relevant passage in the Sketch, written in 1926 (HoME IV, p. 11) is very short: “With the aid of Huan lord of dogs she rescues Beren, […].” (HoME IV, Sketch of the Mythology, p. 25) There is no mention of the motif.
For Beren and Lúthien, the motif first appears in the The Lay of Leithian. The lines in question were composed between 1 and 6 April 1928 (cf HoME III, p. 150). Beren lies in Sauron’s silent dungeon, grieving for Finrod, when he hears a voice:
“The silences were sudden shivered to silver fragments. Faint there quivered a voice in song that walls of rock, enchanted hill, and bar and lock, and powers of darkness pierced with light. He felt about him the soft night of many stars, and in the air were rustlings and a perfume rare; the nightingales were in the trees, slim fingers flute and viol seize beneath the moon, and one more fair than all there be or ever were upon a lonely knoll of stone in shimmering raiment danced alone.
Then in his dream it seemed he sang, and loud and fierce his chanting rang, old songs of battle in the North, of breathless deeds, of marching forth to dare uncounted odds and break great powers, and towers, and strong walls shake; and over all the silver fire that once Men named the Burning Briar, the Seven Stars that Varda set about the North, were burning yet, a light in darkness, hope in woe, the emblem vast of Morgoth’s foe.”
(HoME III, The Lay of Leithian, p. 250–251, l. 2646–2671)
In the Quenta Noldorinwa, written in 1930 (HoME IV, p. 76), there is a mention of Lúthien singing, but no mention of Beren’s reply: “There Beren mourned in despair, and waited for death. But Luthien came and sang outside the dungeons. Thus she beguiled Thû to come forth […].” (HoME IV, The Quenta Noldorinwa, p. 111) There is a sentence in the Grey Annals, written in 1950–51 (HoME XI, p. 3), about Lúthien’s rescue of Beren from Sauron’s isle, but no mention of singing (cf HoME XI, The Grey Annals, p. 62, § 182).
The version where the motif is clearest, in my opinion, is the passage in the published Silmarillion, which is based on QS II (Arda Reconstructed, Table 19); this text was completed in 1951 (Arda Reconstructed, p. 173). No full text of Beren and Lúthien is given in the Quenta Silmarillion section in HoME V (cf HoME V, p. 292–306).
“In that hour Lúthien came, and standing upon the bridge that led to Sauron’s isle she sang a song that no walls of stone could hinder. Beren heard, and he thought that he dreamed; for the stars shone above him, and in the trees nightingales were singing. And in answer he sang a song of challenge that he had made in praise of the Seven Stars, the Sickle of the Valar that Varda hung above the North as a sign for the fall of Morgoth. Then all strength left him and he fell down into darkness. But Lúthien heard his answering voice, and she sang then a song of greater power.” (The Silmarillion, Of Beren and Lúthien, p. 204–205)
So to recapitulate, the motif appeared in 1928 in the tale of Beren and Lúthien, and some ten years later in the tale of Fingon and Maedhros.
Frodo and Sam
After being rendered unconscious by Shelob, Frodo is taken to the Tower of Cirith Ungol by orcs; Sam decides to try to rescue him.
This is what we are told in LOTR:
“At last, weary and feeling finally defeated, he sat on a step below the level of the passage-floor and bowed his head into his hands. It was quiet, horribly quiet. The torch, that was already burning low when he arrived, sputtered and went out; and he felt darkness cover him like a tide. And then softly, there at the vain end of his long journey and his grief, moved by what thought in his heart he could not tell, Sam began to sing.
His voice sounded thin and quavering in the cold dark tower: the voice of a forlorn and weary hobbit that no listening orc could possibly mistake for the clear song of an Elven-lord. He murmured old childish tunes out of the Shire, and snatches of Mr. Bilbo’s rhymes that came into his mind like fleeting glimpses of the country of his home. And then suddenly new strength rose in him, and his voice rang out, while words of his own came unbidden to fit the simple tune.
In western lands beneath the Sun the flowers may rise in Spring, the trees may bud, the waters run, the merry finches sing. Or there maybe ’tis cloudless night and swaying beeches bear the Elven-stars as jewels white amid their branching hair.
Though here at journey’s end I lie in darkness buried deep, beyond all towers strong and high, beyond all mountains steep, above all shadows rides the Sun and Stars for ever dwell. I will not say the Day is done, nor bid the Stars farewell.
‘Beyond all towers strong and high,’ he began again, and then he stopped short. He thought that he had heard a fain voice answering him. […]
[Frodo says:] ‘[…] Then I wasn’t dreaming after all when I heard that singing down below, and I tried to answer? Was it you?’” (LOTR, The Tower of Cirith Ungol, p. 908–910)
The drafting history of the chapter The Tower of Cirith Ungol is described in HoME VII and HoME IX.
In HoME VII, we are given the first plan Tolkien had for this scene when he was still writing The Fellowship of the Ring (HoME VII, The Story Foreseen From Lórien, p. 324):
“Suddenly Sam took courage and did a thing of daring – the longing for his master was stronger than all other thoughts. He sat on the ground and began to sing. ‘Troll-song’ – or some other Hobbit song – or possibly part of the Elves’ song – O Elbereth. (Yes).” (HoME VII, p. 333) “Cries of anger are heard and guards come from stairs above and from below. ‘Stop his mouth – the foul hound’ cry the Orcs. ‘Would that the message would return from the Great One, and we could begin our Questioning [or take him to Baraddur. He he! They have a pretty way there. There is One who will soon find out where the little cheat has hid his Ring.] Stop his mouth.’ ‘Careful!’ cried the captain, ‘do not use too much strength ere word comes from the Great One.’ By this trick Sam found the door, for an Orc unlocked the East door and went inside with a whip. ‘Hold your foul tongue,’ he said, as Sam heard the whip crack.” (HoME VII, p. 334, fn omitted) Frodo comments: “‘Why do drams cheat me?’ he said. ‘I thought I heard a voice singing the song of Elbereth!’” (HoME VII, p. 334)
For me, this passage tells us that while Sam sings, Frodo doesn’t answer, or at least that Sam finds Frodo not because of Frodo’s answering singing, but because of the racket the orcs guarding Frodo make in response to Sam’s singing. So part of the motif that Tolkien had already used for Beren and Lúthien in 1928 and ten years later for Fingon and Maedhros is already present in this early draft of Sam’s rescue of Frodo.
(The way I understand HoME VII, p. 324–325, 267, this text was written at the earliest in 1940, as Tolkien wrote the text compiled in The Story Foreseen From Lórien before finishing Farewell to Lórien, which was “written in ink in a quick but clear and orderly hand on good paper (the ‘August 1940’ examination script being now virtually exhausted)”, HoME VII, p. 267, but I admit that I really have no idea of the drafting history of LOTR – I’d be interested if anyone knows exactly when Tolkien wrote this passage!)
Several years later (cf HoME IX, p. 18), Tolkien returned to this scene, and this is where Sam’s song went from a Hobbit (“Troll-song”) or Elves’ song to something that is very much Sam’s own composition.
Christopher Tolkien tells us the following:
“Sam’s song as he sat on the stair in the horn-turret was much worked on. I will give it here in the form that it has in D, which was preceded by rougher but closely similar versions.
I sit upon the stones alone; the fire is burning red, the tower is tall, the mountains dark; all living things are dead. In western lands the sun may shine, there flower and tree in spring is opening, is blossoming: and there the finches sing.
But here I sit alone and think of days when grass was green, and earth was brown, and I was young: they might have never been. For they are past, for ever lost, and here the shadows lie deep upon my heavy heart, and hope and daylight die.
But still I sit and think of you; I see you far away Walking down the homely roads on a bright and windy day. It was merry then when I could run to answer to your call, could hear your voice or take your hand; but now the night must fall. And now beyond the world I sit, and know not where you lie! O master dear, will you not hear my voice before we die?
The second verse was altered on the manuscript:
For they are gone, for ever lost, and buried here I lie and deep beneath the shadows sink where hope and daylight die.
At the same time the last two lines of the song became:
O Master, will you hear my voice and answer ere we die?
In this form the song appears in the second manuscript E. At a later stage it was rewritten on this manuscript to become virtually a different song, but still retaining almost unchanged the second half of the original first verse, which now became the opening lines:
In western lands the Sun may shine; there flower and tree in Spring are opening, are blossoming, and there the finches sing.
Further correction of these lines on the manuscript produced the final form (RK p. 185).” (HoME IX, The Tower of Kirith Ungol, p. 27–28)
Further Thoughts
The order in which the motif first appeared was first in 1928 for Beren and Lúthien, then in ca. 1937 or 1938 for Fingon and Maedhros, and several years later for Frodo and Sam.
The reasons why Lúthien, Fingon and Sam sing in these situations differ greatly:

• Even Sam doesn’t seem to know why he sings in that particular situation: “And then softly, there at the vain end of his long journey and his grief, moved by what thought in his heart he could not tell, Sam began to sing.” (LOTR, p. 908) Meanwhile the words to his song that Frodo hears come “unbidden” (LOTR, p. 908).
• Fingon begins to sing “in defiance of the Orcs” (The Silmarillion, Of the Return of the Noldor, p. 124) – it seems much more of a conscious decision than Sam’s.
• As for why Lúthien sings…I don’t know, although at least the passage in the Quenta Noldorinwa (HoME IV, p. 111) could be read to mean that Lúthien sings to draw Thû (Sauron) out.

The songs themselves are interesting too:

• Fingon sings “a song of Valinor that the Noldor made of old, before strife was born among the sons of Finwë”, and it seems that Maedhros answers by singing the same song: “his song was taken up, and a voice answering called to him. Maedhros it was that sang amid his torment.” (The Silmarillion, Of the Return of the Noldor, p. 124).
• As far as I’m aware, we are never told what Lúthien sings, but we know exactly what Beren’s reply is, as he sings “a song of challenge that he had made in praise of the Seven Stars, the Sickle of the Valar that Varda hung above the North as a sign for the fall of Morgoth” (The Silmarillion, Of Beren and Lúthien, p. 204–205)
• In the earliest version, the idea was that Sam would sing a “‘Troll-song’ – or some other Hobbit song – or possibly part of the Elves’ song – O Elbereth. (Yes).” (HoME VII, p. 333) It later became a song that Sam invents on the spot about the dreadful situation he’s in, the contrast between the horror of Mordor and Spring in the West, and his and Frodo’s past happiness, with a heavy emphasis on Sam believing that he will die soon (cf HoME IX, p. 27–28). Eventually, the version published in LOTR is much more hopeful: “I will not say the Day is done,/nor bid the Stars farewell.” (LOTR, p. 909)

Sources:
The Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkien, HarperCollins 2007 (softcover) [cited as: LOTR].
The Silmarillion, JRR Tolkien, ed Christopher Tolkien, HarperCollins 1999 (softcover) [cited as: The Silmarillion].
The Book of Lost Tales Part Two, JRR Tolkien, Christopher Tolkien, HarperCollins 2015 (softcover) [cited as: HoME II].
The Lays of Beleriand, JRR Tolkien, Christopher Tolkien, HarperCollins 2015 (softcover) [cited as: HoME III].
The Shaping of Middle-earth, JRR Tolkien, Christopher Tolkien, HarperCollins 2015 (softcover) [cited as: HoME IV].
The Lost Road and Other Writings, JRR Tolkien, Christopher Tolkien, HarperCollins 2015 (softcover) [cited as: HoME V].
The Treason of Isengard, JRR Tolkien, Christopher Tolkien, HarperCollins 2015 (softcover) [cited as: HoME VII].
Sauron Defeated, JRR Tolkien, Christopher Tolkien, HarperCollins 2015 (softcover) [cited as: HoME IX].
The War of the Jewels, JRR Tolkien, Christopher Tolkien, HarperCollins 2015 (softcover) [cited as: HoME XI].
The Lord of the Rings, A Reader’s Companion, Wayne G. Hammond and Christina Scull, HarperCollins 2014 (hardcover) [cited as: Wayne & Scull, A Reader’s Companion].
Arda Reconstructed: The Creation of the Published Silmarillion, Douglas Charles Kane, Lehigh University Press 2009 (softcover) [cited as: Arda Reconstructed].
(Highlights in bold in quotes are mine)

Ready to learn how to stop bouncing through life like an out of control pinball and develop some kingly steadiness of mind?

Overview

This post is a synthesis of key points of the previous two posts, bringing together equanimity and impermanence via a meditation technique called body scanning.
It also brings three new concepts into play -

1. The first is feeling tone or vedana;
2. The second is dependent origination, the "selfing process", which we will cover a small part of that is crucial for this lesson;
3. The third, which is a favorite topic of mine, is tapas, or austerities - leveling up in life by willingly, joyfully doing the hard shit.

There are many useful links and powerful exercises at the very end of this post, and as always, there are tons of nuggets in the meat of the post.

Recap

Part 1 of this series on overcoming craving covered -

• The ins and outs of tanha, the virus in your mind that causes you to crave some things and have aversion towards others;
• How tanha/craving/aversion is the primary cause of dukkha, or suffering and general dis-ease and discontentedness;
• Upgrading the software of your mind with mindfulness, which is the ability to be clearly aware of something with a high degree of equanimity, meaning you’re neither for nor against whatever you’re aware of;
• Deconstructing difficult emotions and urges (horniness) via the practice of noting.

Part 2 covered -

• The power of anicca/impermanence, or the Anicca Algorithm, and how once you upload this “Impermanence Patch” to your mind, you’ll have dealt a powerful blow to the tanha virus.

Terminology
Tanha - both craving and aversion, the virus in your mind causing you to have a bumpy ride in life
Dukkha - any and all unpleasantness, from simple boredom to sadness to depression to getting dumped to being shot in the leg
Anicca - impermanence
Vedana - feeling tone (pleasant, unpleasant, neutral)
Dependent Origination - how the mind gets in its own way, causing suffering to arise
Tapas - cultivating power through adversity
Equanimity - the ability to allow and be unreactive to any given stimulus

Becoming Un-fuck-with-able

As we covered in Part 1, mindfulness is one of the direct antidotes to tanha, to craving/aversion, and what is horniness but simply a type of craving?
The reason mindfulness is such a strong weapon against craving because of its equanimity component.
Anyone can be aware that they’re horny, but when you can be equanimous with the sensations of being horny, then there’s no longer any need to be bothered by the horniness, nor to act on it.
The demon has been neutralized.
Equanimity truly is a superpower. To have a high degree of equanimity is to be imperturbable, un-fuck-withable. With equanimity you can withstand anything - the pain in your knee, the hunger in your belly, the chill of an ice bath, your annoying neighbor, and of course, the urge to masturbate.
Meditation teacher Shinzen Young describes equanimity as a radical non-interference with the natural flow of sensory experience. You don't push the unpleasantness away with aversion, you don't pull in the pleasant experiences with craving.
Equanimity is synonymous with toughness and resilience.

Equanimity Like a King

Once you've learned how to turn up the dial on equanimity, it’s like going through life surrounded by a forcefield of chill, a forcefield of nonchalance, a forcefield of noble, kingly imperturbability.
Is a king bothered by every little thing that goes wrong in his life? Does he fear doing his duties? Does he give in to every little whim and fantasy? Or does he do his duties quickly, efficiently, and without complaint? I'm talking about a real king, one who was raised right and who radiates nobility, or one that actually earned his throne.
Think Aragorn from Lord of the Rings, or King Arthur, or Mufasa, not Joffrey Baratheon from Game of Thrones.
Mufasa your Simba, brothers.
With equanimity flowing through your veins, things will bounce off of you like you’re the Juggernaut. You’ll be able to easily pursue the things you want by brushing off the discomfort standing in your way, whether the discomfort is your resistance to pursuing your goals or the discomfort of not acting on your horniness.
You’ll be able to simply say no to cravings, because at the end of the day, cravings are just another slightly uncomfortable, brief, ephemeral, impermanent sensation. They come, they go, and only you, your calm awareness, remains.
Just substitute craving for fear in that killer quote from Dune - “I must not crave. Craving is the mind-killer. Craving is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my craving. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the craving has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
The first bolded section relates to equanimity, the second to impermanence.
The pieces of the puzzle are all coming together.

Goenka-style Vipassana

I didn’t truly understand the power of equanimity until I attended my first meditation retreat, a 10 day Goenka-style vipassana retreat.
Vipassana translates as “seeing clearly”. Whereas most meditations are about focusing, calming and stilling the mind and achieving blissful states of deep meditation (we’ll cover these in an upcoming post), vipassana is a style of meditation discovered by the Buddha where one aims to achieve specific insights regarding the nature of oneself and reality.
These insights are so profound that they eliminate dukkha (suffering/dis-ease/discontentedness), which, do recall, is caused by that mind virus tanha, or craving/aversion.
I want to make clear that through these techniques, you don’t simply manage craving and suffering, you eliminate them entirely. For good.
No more craving, no more aversion, no more suffering. That’s the end goal of Buddhist practice and while it’s certainly difficult to achieve, with just a bit of practice, you’ll see that craving/aversion and suffering/discontentedness start decreasing quickly.
If you're wondering how meditation undoes suffering, suffering = pain x resistance is a fantastic, short introduction to the topic.

Pain and Discomfort, Up Close and Personal

These Goenka retreats are incredible for discovering and cultivating the power of equanimity, mainly because you’re essentially forced to do so. These retreats have a reputation for being pretty intense, almost like a meditation bootcamp.
There are only two meals, so no food after noon. There is no speaking, no reading, no writing, absolutely zero distractions. They take your phone and they don’t even allow eye contact with others.
Then there is the actual meditation schedule. You wake up at 4 am, and the first meditation period is from 4:30 to 6 am - and then there are another nine and a half hours of scheduled sits!
Eleven hours of meditation, with strong encouragement to continue doing it at all other times as well.
But wait! Then they add in the “strong determination” sits! This is where they tell you to stop all the fidgeting you’ve no doubt been doing - you can’t move your hands, your feet, or open your eyes once you’ve started your meditation.
Try sitting for an hour on the floor on a cushion, legs crossed, back upright. You’ll be squirmy. Now try it without fidgeting at all. Now do that for 11 hours a day, for a week straight.
But that’s the beauty and ingenuity of these retreats - if you don’t learn how to be equanimous with all of it, you’ll likely be the person who tries to quit - which, of course, they’ll strongly encourage you not to do.
It’s sink or swim, develop equanimity or be chewed up and spit out.
Of course, you don't have to attend a retreat in order to develop equanimity, as life presents us with plenty of gritty material to work with. I highly recommend them though, and they are free for first timers! They will ask you to donate whatever is appropriate for your finances after the retreat, if you can afford to do so - but it is not mandatory and they will not allow you to pay beforehand.
They're all over the world, too. If you're interested, check em out - dhamma.org

Vedana - Feeling Tone

The style of meditation they teach is called body scanning, in which you systematically move your awareness all throughout your body, tuning into the impermanence of these sensations.
They also teach you about vedana, or the feeling-tone, of these sensations. They can be either pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral, but no matter their pleasantness, you're instructed to simply have equanimity for them all.
And vedana is a key part of daily life that you need to start becoming aware of if you'd like to learn how to be un-fuck-withable.
Whenever something arises in your field of awareness, there is a lightning-quick co-arising of vedana, meaning there will immediately arise within the body a feeling of pleasantness, of unpleasantness, or of neutrality. We normally attribute our liking or disliking of something to sensations themselves, but this isn’t actually the case.
The sensations of the flavor and texture of a pizza are separate from the liking of it. The sensations of wetness and cold in an ice bath are separate from the discomfort. The liking of the pizza and the disliking of the cold are actually due to the feeling tone, the vedana, of those experiences, and they are separate from the pizza or ice bath themselves.
“Yeah, so? Big deal”, I hear you say. Well, it is a big deal, because if you learn how to manage, ignore, or cut out the vedana when it suits you, you’ve learned how to do whatever you want in life without being hogtied to pleasure and comfort while always running from pain and discomfort.
You can get into an ice bath and experience the wet frigidness and not have any aversion. Or you can enjoy a piece of pizza without any craving.
With practice you can even see incredibly beautiful women and experience no craving, no horniness.
In other words, you will be free.

Vedana, Equanimity, Mindfulness

In our standard mode of being, we almost always react mindlessly to vedana when it pops up, meaning when a pleasant vedana arises we reactively chase after the pleasure, or when an unpleasant vedana arises we reactively run from the discomfort.
But here is where your new superpower comes in - we can simply not react to the vedana when appropriate.
That is how you develop unshakeable equanimity. You feel the unpleasant vedana arise and just let it fizzle out. You feel the pleasant vedana arise and you just let it fizzle out.
But you have to be mindful to do this!
This is how you begin to stop mindlessly reacting to everything you encounter in life.
The moment vedana arises is when we all have our mindless reaction to whatever the thing is, meaning if you don’t catch the vedana as it arises, the process of craving/aversion begins and the immediate subsequent shitstorm of thought and emotion tramples over you.
With the microscope of mindfulness aimed right at vedana, you can cut the whole craving/suffering process out.
Let’s take a closer look at how these lightning-quick vedanas lead to our naughty behaviors.

Vedana, “Selfing”, Suffering

Alright buckle in, this gets technical.
Vedana and the process occurring after vedana, the arising of all those thoughts and feelings, is a part of a pretty complex topic called dependent origination, but we can just call it “selfing”. This selfing process details how your sense of self arises and then drowns in suffering and unpleasantness. In this process there are 12 links, each one leading to the next, each one happening extremely quickly.
Vedana is one of those links, and the link right after vedana? Our ol’ buddy tanha - craving/aversion. Stop the process at vedana and you nip craving in the bud, meaning you've just cut out the urge to masturbate.
Poof, gone.
“Vedanā is the cause of taṇhā, which gives rise to dukkha. In order to remove the cause of dukkha or taṇhā, one must not allow vedanā to give rise to taṇhā; in other words, one must practice Vipassana meditation at this juncture so that [ignorance] becomes [wisdom]... One has to observe vedanā, to experience and to comprehend the truth of its arising and passing away, anicca.
This is practiced by observing with equanimity the arising and passing away of vedanā.” Quote from the Vipassana Research Institute on Vedana and Dependent Origination
Dependent origination (good breakdown with image here), or selfing, is the process by which the mind creates a sense of self, as well as how that self craves, causing suffering. Interrupt this process at any of the links and you will no longer suffer.
“As long as this chain of twelve causal relations operates, the wheel of becoming (bhava-cakka) keeps turning, bringing nothing but suffering.” Vedana and Dependent Origination
We’re focused here on links 6, 7 and 8 - contact, feeling-tone and craving/aversion.
So something arises in your awareness (contact) that leads to a pleasant or unpleasant feeling (vedana) that leads to you going “I like/don’t like this” (tanha), and then you mindlessly react and an emotionally laden narrative arises in the mind - and as we touched on in Part 1, it's that barrage of overwhelming thoughts and emotions that is making your life so difficult.
I realize that’s a lot of moving parts but it’s actually very straightforward and happens to us all the time, we just don’t pay enough close attention to notice it.

“Selfing” in Real Time

Let’s see how this process operates in real time.
Say you’re sitting on your couch one Saturday afternoon and open up Reddit to check the retention sub, but on the homepage someone posted a photo of a young Jennifer Connelly on oldschoolcool. Milliseconds after you see her (contact), a pleasant feeling arises in the body (vedana), and because you haven’t developed your mindfulness enough to catch it or equanimity enough to deal with it, you immediately begin fantasizing about her (craving), then about other women.
All of these thoughts and your horniness continues to build and build (selfing) and the next thing you know, you’re disgusted with yourself after yet another masturbatory extravaganza.
Contact -> vedana -> craving -> selfing -> the same ol’ bullshit.
‘Tis a shame.
Or say you’re sitting on your couch one Saturday afternoon and a snotty text from your ex pops up on your phone. Milliseconds after this information comes streaming through your eyes and into your brain (contact), an unpleasant feeling arises in the body (vedana).
The unpleasant vedana immediately drudges up all your resentment and pain (aversion), and these feelings build as the barrage of thoughts come thundering in (selfing). “How dare she send such a message!” Because you haven’t developed sufficient mindfulness/equanimity yet, you immediately shoot back with your own acidic reply, the conversation escalates, and even though the whole thing lasted less than five minutes, you’re left with a busted cell phone after throwing it and you feel enraged for the rest of the day.
Contact -> vedana -> aversion -> selfing -> same ol’ bullshit.
‘Tis a shame.

Notice Vedana and Pause

One of the main benefits of mindfulness practice is that it introduces that pause between stimulus and response. The signal that you should pause is the vedana arising in your body. This style of vipassana trains you to notice the arising of vedana and then to simply allow it, without craving if it is pleasant, without aversion if it is unpleasant.
That non-reactivity/equanimity towards the vedana of sensations cuts off the craving/selfing/suffering process. This is not to say those thoughts won’t arise at all when you’re new to this practice, but it will be the difference between sitting on the edge of the stream vs falling in and being swept away.
It’s a rather ingenious technique in that regard.

Putting It Into Practice

Let's look at some methods to start developing equanimity.
Vipassana via Body Scanning
So how do we develop equanimity by recognizing vedana? The Goenka-style body scanning is a fantastic way to do so, since the whole practice is about tuning into body sensations and recognizing vedana when it arises.
It’s especially effective when you set the timer for fifteen minutes longer than you’re used to and do a strong determination sit, with zero fidgeting. Unpleasantness will likely arise, both in bodily discomfort and mental agitation, and you will be forced to remain equanimous or struggle.
Rather than type out instructions, just check this guy's post on the ins and outs of body scanning.
Yoga
The first series I made a few years ago was all about cultivating and transmuting sexual energy, and how yoga is the absolutely best way to do this. I was so fired up from igniting my semen retention practice with other yogic practices, power herbs that boost sexual energy and tantric sex, I decided to write a book about it.
Yoga is also a phenomenal way to increase equanimity in a very different manner than looking at vedana - it reprograms your brain and body to naturally be cool, calm and collected. It balances your nervous system so you aren't always in fight-or-flight mode, it regulates your endocrine system by massaging and tonifying your endocrine glands which optimizes hormone levels, it increases serotonin as well as the calming neurotransmitter GABA, and gets you out of your head and into the present moment.
Breathing Exercises
Do you feel like you suck at meditating? Do you feel frustrated after meditating because your mind won't settle down and it's just a constant struggle?
Trying to control the mind with the mind absolutely can be a struggle, especially when you're new to meditation. I think every retainer should have a meditation practice, but I absolutely understand how it seems pointless when all it's doing is frustrating you.
Allow me to strongly encourage you to try out pranayama, or breathing exercises. Through learning some quick breathing practices, you will be handed the keys to your nervous system. Seriously! You can get more chilled out in 5 minutes of proper breathing than you've ever gotten from 20 minutes of trying to meditate.
You can also ramp up energy levels with stimulating pranayamas. Or you can bring yourself right into balance with practices like box breathing.
If you want to get energized, try Wim Hof breathing or bhastrika pranayama
If you want to chill out, try Coherence Breathing or the 1:2 breath (though I suggest breathing out through the nose, but do whatever suits you most)
If you want to find center without too much relaxation, try Box Breathing (through the nose, into the belly)
Developing Witness Consciousness
This is a big thing in meditation circles, getting to the point in your practice when you start identifying as The Witness of all experience.
Our default mode of going through life is by identifying with our thoughts and our feelings. It isn't just "these are my thoughts and feelings", it's "I am my thoughts and feelings". We usually feel that these fundamentally are us, perhaps even more so than our body, and for me to even suggest that they aren't would make many people think I've lost my marbles.
To be fair, I'm not saying your thoughts or emotions are someone else's. But ask yourself, if these are your thoughts, what is the "you" that "your thoughts" refers to? What is it that is aware of those thoughts?
Speaking in terms of purely subjective experience, there is awareness, then there is everything that awareness is aware of, and your thoughts, emotions, memories, hopes for the future, fears, wants, and everything else that most people identify as "theirs", are fleeting, impermanent arisings within that awareness.
Your thoughts are always changing and sometimes aren't there at all, so you can't be your thoughts, right? Otherwise when there is no thought, you would disappear. Same with feelings. Same with body sensations.
They're all impermanent, but awareness is always there, unfazed, unchanged.
Think of awareness as the center of the cyclone, with everything else - especially "inner" thoughts and feelings - arising as things flying by the center of that cyclone.
The center of the cyclone is always peaceful, calm, serene, unbothered.
Your awareness is always peaceful, calm, serene, unbothered.
Start identifying as that which is aware of everything, and become the center of your cyclone.
That's a powerful equanimity hack.
Tapas
Another great way to start tuning into vedana and developing equanimity is through practicing tapas, or austerities. This is how you level up your spiritual practice fast. Traditionally within yoga, this refers to doing a lot more meditation or yoga or breathing exercises, but it can also refer to just doing the tough stuff in general.
Saunas. Ice baths. Hill sprints. Running if all you do is lift weights, lifting weights if all you do is run. Committing to meditating daily if you haven’t started a daily practice, or adding in a second sit if you’re only doing one.
Go out of your way to do things that are difficult, that you feel resistance to doing.
It also involves giving things up. We’re all practicing a powerful form of tapas by practicing semen retention, but there are plenty of other things you can practice letting go of for periods of time.
No music on Mondays. Fasting a full 24 hours every week. No app usage for a month, or no video games, or no YouTube. Give up eating dinner. Don't watch YouTube or scroll on Reddit while you eat. Even refraining from whipping your phone out while you stand in line or are bored on the bus counts.
Simply doing any and everything you feel resistance towards can be considered a form of tapas! Just feel that resistance, the unpleasant vedana, and then with equanimity, simply do the thing anyway. Or don't do the thing you're craving to do.
Make strong resolves and stick to them! We will cover the importance of resolves in a later post, but understand this - you need to prove to yourself that when you say you’re going to do something, you do it, no matter what.
Prove to yourself you can depend on yourself.
Tapas is penance for the sake of spiritual growth and it is truly the best way to level up in life. It’s also an amazing way to break through a flatline and it’s a phenomenal way to transmute sexual energy into more subtle but equally powerful energies.
Tapas is one of the Keys to the Kingdom of Semen Retention success, and a whole post about it is going to be released soon.
It will take your semen retention and spiritual practice to heights you never dreamt of, so get out there and start actively seeking the uncomfortable.
Impress yourself with how tough you can be, it will top off your confidence meter.

In Conclusion

The main goal, what you really want is to get your mindfulness game strong enough to be able to notice vedana arising in daily life, so that you can have equanimity to the pulls and pushes of tanha, and so that you can inject the space between stimulus and response, and mindfully make the wise decision to put the phone down and not bust out your special sock.
That’s where the rubber really meets the road. But guess what? You gotta be mindful to see the vedana arise and neutralize it with equanimity, before the shitstorm of selfing and suffering begins!
So start meditating if you aren’t yet, meditate more if you already do, and take your meditation off the cushion and into the real world by being mindful in your daily life. Eventually this will all be second nature.
If anyone is looking for advice on how to start an enjoyable and successful meditation practice, drop a comment.
You will achieve a degree of awareness that makes you realize just how much you’ve been sleepwalking through life.
You will achieve such a deep level of equanimity that you will feel like a king, like you’re playing the Game of Life on easy mode.
And you can kiss your masturbatory relapses goodbye.

Asmodeus
Ragnarok Profile: Asmodeus
Name: Asmodeus
Titles/Aliases: 1. Priest of Desire£ 2. *God of Lust 3. Lord of the Goats 4. Ruler of the Desired
Race: God
Gender: Male (Can shape-shift)
Pantheon/Nationality: Abrahamic
Age: Unknown (Eons Possibly)
Authority: King of the Lust Ring
Appearance: Asmodeus cuts a striking figure, with parted black hair interspersed with dark purple strands that fall elegantly around his face. He stands tall and imposing, exuding an aura of seductive power. Adorned in a tight black shirt with only one long sleeve on the right side, he wears a dark pinkish jacket with fur lining and a golden goat's head emblem on his right shoulder. His left arm is encased in black hardened material, while a lion's head adorns his left shoulder. Pink formal pants and fancy boots complete his ensemble, exuding an air of regal sensuality.
Personality: Asmodeus possesses a complex and enigmatic personality, characterized by a potent blend of calm arrogance and insatiable lust. He is unabashedly hedonistic, reveling in the pursuit of pleasure and desire above all else. Possessing a manipulative and cunning nature, he is a master of temptation, exploiting the weaknesses and desires of others to further his own ends. Despite his hedonistic tendencies, Asmodeus is also fiercely intelligent and calculating, with a strategic mind honed by centuries of experience.
Backstory: Asmodeus's origins are shrouded in mystery, with tales of his existence dating back to the dawn of creation itself. Born from the primordial essence of desire, he has long ruled over the realm of lust and temptation, weaving his dark influence throughout the cosmos. Legend has it that he was once a mortal who ascended to godhood through sheer force of will, transcending his mortal limitations to become an immortal being of unparalleled power. Fuelled by an insatiable thirst for love and pleasure, Asmodeus seeks to dominate all that he desires, sparing no expense in his relentless pursuit of hedonistic bliss.
Fighting Style: Asmodeus is a master of manipulation and deception, preferring to employ cunning tactics and supernatural abilities rather than engaging in direct physical combat. He excels at exploiting the desires and weaknesses of his opponents, luring them into his web of temptation before delivering the final blow. His fighting style is fluid and adaptable, allowing him to seamlessly transition between offensive and defensive maneuvers with ease.
Supernatural Power: Asmodeus possesses the ability to manipulate space itself, harnessing the cosmic forces to exert control over his surroundings. With a mere mental command, he can create spatial distortions, pulling objects and adversaries towards him with irresistible force. The range of this power extends far beyond mere physical reach, allowing him to manipulate matter across vast distances.
Volund/Divine Weapon: The Staff of Lust serves as Asmodeus's divine weapon, a blackened scepter adorned with intricate gold filigree. Topped with a spiked golden head featuring representations of both a goat and a lion, this staff amplifies his abilities and serves as a conduit for his dark powers. With a flick of his wrist, Asmodeus can unleash devastating bursts of energy, channeling the raw essence of desire to vanquish his foes.
Named Techniques:

1. Beth (Desire's Grasp): Asmodeus utilizes the Hand of Beth to manipulate the deepest desires of his adversaries, compelling them to act in accordance with his will. With a mere thought, he can ensnare his opponents in a web of temptation, leaving them vulnerable to his manipulations and schemes. Those ensnared by the power of Beth find themselves consumed by their most fervent desires, rendering them unable to resist Asmodeus's seductive influence.
   
2. Ayin Samekh (Lustful Barrier): Drawing upon the raw power of lust, Asmodeus conjures forth a barrier of pure desire, shielding himself from harm while ensnaring his opponents in its seductive embrace. The barrier pulsates with an irresistible allure, tempting those who approach it to abandon themselves to their deepest longings. Asmodeus manipulates the desires of his adversaries, luring them into a false sense of security before striking with deadly precision.
   
3. Ayin Vau (Whip of Temptation): With a flourish of his staff, Asmodeus channels the dark energies of lust, transforming it into a whip-like weapon capable of striking down his foes with unbridled ferocity. The whip crackles with malevolent energy, leaving behind a trail of corrupted desire in its wake. Asmodeus lashes out with ruthless efficiency, his attacks fueled by the insatiable hunger of lust.
   
4. Final Sin of Hell - No. -6 (Apex of Temptation): Channeling the darkest depths of desire, Asmodeus unleashes a devastating explosion of raw energy, consuming everything in its path with the irresistible force of temptation. The air itself becomes thick with the essence of lust, suffusing the battlefield with a seductive allure. Those caught within the blast are overwhelmed by their deepest desires, their willpower shattered by the overwhelming power of Asmodeus's lustful influence.
   
5. Ayin Tau (Seductive Barrage): With a flick of his wrist, Asmodeus unleashes a barrage of whip strikes, each infused with the corrupting influence of lust. His attacks are relentless and unforgiving, leaving his opponents battered and broken in their wake. The whip dances through the air with deadly precision, weaving a tapestry of temptation that ensnares all who dare to oppose him.
   
6. Ayin Resh (Desire's Embrace): Drawing upon his mastery of temptation, Asmodeus pulls his adversaries towards him with irresistible force, leaving them vulnerable to his dark machinations. With a flick of his wrist, he delivers a devastating blow, shattering their defenses and leaving them at his mercy. Those ensnared by Asmodeus's power find themselves consumed by their most primal desires, their wills bending to his every whim.
   

Quotes:
(To Zeus): “Oh Come On Big Boy don’t you wanna have some fun with some of my Ladies? Or even men I don’t judge”
(To Beelzebub): “Oh Calm down edge lord”
(To Momotaro): “So your a demon slayer? Who do you think you are? Tanjiro?”