If you’d told me that the visitation with my son, an event that happened only every other weekend, would be extended indefinitely, I would’ve jumped with joy. In the end, I wish the circumstances under which they unfolded had never happened.
The clouds were sightless in the clear sky the day Jasmine dropped off my boy, a perfect day to play a little catch in the yard or go fishing at the nearby stock pond. Cyrus bounced out of the car and ran joyously toward me, unaware that his old man was a perpetual fuck up that had broken up the family in the first place. Oh well.
It was a happy day, the birds sang their old nostalgic tunes of a lost Summer in my own childhood. It was warm, not too warm, and the neighborhood was buzzing with excitement as the Spring showers had come to a close. It was as close as it could get to perfect.
The evening light danced against the tree tops, turning a violet hue as dusk began to settle in. Burnt orange water reflected the dying sun as it continued sinking away to nothing. We grabbed our tackle box, the giant beige one my uncle gifted me before he was stolen by cancer, and filled it with the empty, crumpled up bits of plastic that once held bologna sandwiches. As I said, it was a perfect day, very reminiscent of my own childhood.
We’d thrown the fat bluegill back that we had caught, I hadn’t felt like messing with cleaning and cooking them. Instead, dinner would likely be mac n’ cheese with some cut up hot dogs, a staple in my household whether or not Cyrus was visiting. Hopefully I hadn’t run through Oscar Meyer supply.
Home never felt so lonely, the walls never seemed so barren of old family pictures when Cyrus wasn’t around. Sometimes, he only added to the pain. I would never tell him that, though.
Even with the faucet turned all the way up, the water dribbled out and made boiling pasta a very patient game. Cyrus was babbling about some game he was playing on my phone. ‘He’s just a kid’, I thought, and pretended to be interested in whatever the hell he was talking about.
The sun had vanished and the moon was especially bright that night, having slid nearly halfway to its crescendo before dinner was finally done. Cyrus had stolen my phone to the living room, staring at the bright characters absentmindedly as a nondescript Netflix show played in the background.
“Here, buddy, sorry about the wait”, I sat the bowl of neon yellow stuff in front of him, the pink scramble of hotdog jutting out made me feel… a little ashamed? I plopped down next to him and flipped through the various titles on Netflix, most of which I had already seen a couple of times. Cyrus tossed the phone aside and picked at the mess of ‘food’ in the bowl. I can’t remember if he took a bite or not.
“Dad!”, I jumped, reeling from the doze I had fallen in. If Jasmine was here, it would’ve been such a perfect day, such a perfect day. Instead, this is where it all fell apart.
He massaged furiously at his temples, his knees pulled tight against his heaving chest.
“What’s the matter, are you okay?”, I jumped from the couch and got on one knee, putting my hands around his shoulders. I watched helplessly as Cyrus twisted and contorted his body, trying to run away from whatever pain was in his head.
Suddenly he fell still.
I studied him for a while, nearly on the verge of tears as his body had become totally limp. Then, a noise. At first it was quiet, then it grew and grew until it filled the room with totality. It’s hard to describe that noise, almost like a wind turbine if you were up close to it.
From behind the couch, just above my sons head, it peeked at me. Its thick, black fingers ended at sharp, nailess points. Just as I met its eyes, it slithered behind the couch and that’s when Cyrus awoke in a screaming fit.
I jumped awake again, Cyrus sitting next to me as pale as a sheet. His eyes were bulging, glued to the blank TV ahead.
I couldn’t help but check behind the couch, to make sure it wasn’t still there. Then, to my son who was still staring at the nothing on the television. His mouth was hanging open, just enough to allow the continuous stream of drool to fall out.
I ran to the kitchen to grab a paper towel and cleaned the odd amount of drool from his chin. There wasn’t a thermometer in the house but it didn’t take a rocket scientist to tell that he was burning up. A fever, I thought.
I carried the boy to his bedroom, feeling as though I was being watched the entire way, and tucked him into bed. A doctors visit would soon be on the horizon. I returned to the couch in the living room, careful to keep my gaze fixed on the TV and nothing else. Truthfully, I was too afraid to look in the shadowy corners.
That night was filled with nightmares.
The next day I rang Jasmine, letting her know that Cy was sick and needed to go to the doctor. Ordinarily, this wouldn’t have been an issue, but Jas was immunocompromised (she’d been diagnosed with breast cancer a few months before we divorced) and my son would be staying with me for the foreseeable future. I couldn’t complain, I didn’t get to see him nearly enough as it was.
That day was very much the opposite of the previous, the sky was gloomy and spits of rain fell consistently from dawn to nightfall.
The doctor had said that Cyrus had a particularly severe ear infection, but nothing that some antibiotics couldn’t fix. He sent us home with a tube of the stuff, my wallet noticeably lighter.
“Apply some of this twice a day, once in the morning and once before bedtime”, the older gentleman had said. He squeezed my shoulder and smiled, though there seemed to be something else behind his wary eyes.
He stopped me again as I turned to leave.
“Sir…”, he started, though he seemed to study his words carefully, “your son kept mentioning something he called the flumes”.
I shrugged, the only time I had heard the word was in reference to a ravine on the edge of town where we’d all smoke pot in high school. Nothing struck me as odd about it at the time.
“They come from the flumes, those noises, those noises, he kept saying”, the doctor pushed closer, his eyes growing wild. I stepped backward, tugging at Cy’s hand as we left the building wordlessly.
Aside from my busy mind, the car ride home was utterly silent. I could hear my boys heavy, labored breaths all the way from the backseat. ‘Inner ear infection, my ass’, I thought.
After laying Cyrus back down for bed, I fixed him a bowl of instant chicken and noodles and decided to give Jasmine a call. The phone rang endlessly before the robotic voice indicated that the caller wasn’t available. I tried once more but gave up after it rang a few more times. Probably sleeping.
I returned to the couch, deciding to rewatch Nightmare on Elm Street for the fourth or fifth time.
After a while, I decided to put on cable, growing tired of the listless titles on Netflix. I was never too interested in the local news, but today seemed as good as any to catch up on the towns happenings. The Grantfield Gators girls softball team had advanced to sectionals and one of the townsfolk were celebrating their 100th birthday.
A ‘Breaking News’ graphic slid below the frazzled newslady on the television. Wherever she was, it sure looked familiar.
‘Wild dog shits on mayors front yard’, I laughed at my own stupid joke and surely turned as white as Cyrus had the previous night as the lady on the TV continued.
“A local woman was found tied to a tree and disemboweled at the scene. Police are saying various symbols were branded all over the womans body, and the material used to bind her to the Elm tree was ‘of unusual property’”, she continued on for a while but I hadn’t noticed, the air had fallen heavy and that familiar warbling had filled the room again.
Heavy footsteps slammed up the staircase at an otherworldly pace. Up the staircase and towards my sons room.
I ran, I swear I ran as fast as I could but I knew… I knew.
When I got to his room, he was gone, the curtains blowing aimlessly in the wind as the window had been slammed open so hard that the glass had shattered in the panes. The bowl of chicken and noodles sat on the bedside table, untouched.
I tried calling Jasmine again and again and again. Still, no answer.
I wanted to write this, to whoever may be reading, so that you know where to look if I don’t return. I know where my son is, I know where Jasmine is.
The flumes took them, or whatever might be lurking in it.

5:43 Woke up
6:00 Osho meditation camp for meditation
7:39 Smoking corner
8:00 Shower
8:11 Washing utensils
8:20 Youtube
8:48 Nap
10.30. Headed to exam
11.38 Smoking corner
12.27 Started watching YouTube
(I can't enjoy anything, time pass is also getting hard) (Whats the meaning of my life, no joy ,no emotions, no goals, what should i do, i am not interested in anything but i cant die either what should i do? Im so lost here ,fuckk ,living in this extreme loneliness but i tried ,i tried so much to make friends, understand them, laugh with them, live with them, but thats only makes me feel so distant/different from them, i really can't understand these people,i cant understand what they are saying what they are feeling, how they are enjoying,how they are living this life, i want to get drunk so bad but i don't have money either, what should i do? Some people tried to help me but nothing happened, im just tired all the time, lonely all the time, even when im in mania, mania is fucking crazy, atleast i can tolerate this life at mania, but i really hate when i am depressed, i just want to go somewhere but where should i go ,i dont have a single fucking clue, im hopeful but losing my hope every second, a person can survive with food, clothes and house right if so then why aint i surviving)
(But i really want to fight someone who shows no mercy, no humanity ,follows no rules, i just want to fight , i would pay someone to fight me But whom should i choose to fight yeah i have something to think about, i hope fight will make me feel alive, i aint afraid to go to jail or smth but thinking about parents and their dream i cant take a step,after all i cant betray them, so i have to fight secretly ,very privately)
Im feeling sick
1.19 Lunch
2:22 Watching untold story 2
4:14 Headed to smoking corner to think what to do today
(I reached to the conclusion that i cant just whine like this every time, from tomorrow i will get back to older routine,no one can help me except myself)
4:39 Back to YouTube
(I remember fighting with my brother, we were best friends and worst enemies, we used to fight everyday until i left home for study, we used to break bones, pinch into eyes, hit down the spine, tear each other, but since i left home we don't fight, my brother eventually made friends but i couldn't, i want to fight again not with my brother neither those short fights with weak punches, i want long fights with strong punches ,kicks wathever, i miss fighting)
5:09 im trying to sleep
(The sound of fan is giving me headache)
7:24 Woke up and out for nightwalk
8;20 Youtube
8:23 Light went off
8.52 Back at YouTube
(I might be the weakest man to ever exist)
10:13 Dinner
10:31 Bedtime
Cigerattes: 6
People interacted :3 (excluding shopkeepers)
Overall day : 4/10

Hey friends,
I had a good first week, dropped 9 pounds, altho I put 3 of em back on after cheat day and haven't been able to significantly move it down since, just yet.
I've been absolutely blown away by just how much I'm eating, and not out of necessity, but out of a sheer hunger.
First, the stats:

1. 37YO Male, able bodied, active, healthy or, at worst, on the high end of normal of all blood metrics
   
2. 6'3, 213lbs at start, 204 before cheat day on Saturday, Tuesday of week two today, and at 206.8.
   
3. Body fat of 15% at start, 14.3% pre-cheat, and 14.6% today.
   
4. And maybe the most important variable: Vegetarian (lacto ovo)
   
5. Taking Potassium, Calcium as defined in the book, and Magnesium at night for bed. Skipping the PAGG based on research on this sub and other sources.
   

*Standard breakfast * I'm having two eggs with about a half cup of whites with spinach and an assortment of frozen veggies into a scramble, probably a cup of spinach (compressed) and a cup of other frozen veggies , a full can of lentils, 560g)
Invariably hungry three hrs later, and I'll either do a couple spoons of cottage cheese, or suffer thru until a bigger lunch.
Lunch is roasted veggies, marinated in Olive Oil and some harissa spices, sometimes with salsa, and sometimes with tahini (but only if I haven't had the cottage cheese)
Evenings will be a burrito bowl of sorts, lettuce, onions, a shit ton of veggies, totalling about four to five cups worth of veggies, and a combo of black beans and refries beans, with a bunch of salsa.
And even then, I'd get into night time feeling hungry, so I'd finish off with a tbsp of peanut butter and my magnesium tablet before bed.
It's sort of crazy to me how much I am eating.... I have never eaten this much volume so regularly before. I've seen other vegetarians on the sub say they've been fine with some tofu here and there, so I do some extra firm tofu to amp up protein, but usually not more than twice a week.
And I noticed if I drink a pea protein shake with some veggie greens and spinach at breakfast time, I dramatically reduce my hunger thru the day. I know that's breaking a bit of a cardinal rule, but I remembered the book saying that snacking means I wasn't having enough protein, and I figured the best time to do that was breakfast to really make sure the Ratios of breakfast tipped heavily in the favour of protein vs carb/fat.
Roughly speaking, I'm throwing about 150g of protein into my body everyday (including the shake).
Activity wise: I'm usually moving at least 60 mins a day between commuting to meetings by foot and bike, as well as morning walks. I'm also doing the three day a week fifteen minute workouts Tim mentions he did in the book. (kettlebells M and F, dumbbells and sit-ups on W)
All told, by the end of the week, my Garmin watch calculates me as having done about 600 to 700 intensity mins a week, usually in the neighbourhood of 600-900 active calories burned.
I'm asking for the judgement/review because despite feeling like I'm following it as I'm supposed to, I'm sometimes struggling to imagine how this much food is okay to consume Hahaha... And also because the slight uptick on the scale is annoying, post-cheat day.
Also: I'm super tired by 830 pm. Like I'm usually very energetic, but by 830/9 I'm just counting down the hours til bedtime, usually in bed by 1115,and asleep by 1130pm. (I will say that as someone who used to take a long time to fall asleep, I am very nicely fatigued since starting SCD and fall asleep quickly.)
Would love your feedback to know if this is "business as usual", and if anyone has comments on what feels like a setback in the increased weight and fat%, the fatigue, and any other thoughts of advice.

A little background: I turned 17 last month, me and two of my siblings were all adopted together, and our adoptive parents have 2 kids as well. I also took a bunch of extra classes so I could graduate this year rather then next.
I know that other people have a lot more to complain about but I am pissed and I need someone to talk to. On Friday, I went over to a friend's house and spent the night (both parents and younger siblings are out of state so it's just me here) and we stayed up until 2 in the morning (no big deal). On Saturday, I got home from work and went to play Xbox, and played until 10:00 the time I was told to go to bed, then my alarm clock unplugged overnight so i missed my alarm amd slept through church. Because of this my mom told me to put my phone in front of the camera and took all my tech away for Sunday(she didn't get here till Monday at like 5:30). Then she told me that I had to keep my door open until she got back(I was in here cleaning but according to her I was clearly messing around) so that the camera could see in here. (We have cameras all over our house) My response to that text was "Im actually in here cleaning but whatever". After that she takes all my shit for another day, so all of Monday. Monday was my last day of school so I had a couple of finals left, but I couldn't do them until about 730 pm so she could "monitor me on my school laptop" because in the last week I had opened insta for about 4.5 seconds to enter a giveaway. Me not being able to start on school until then caused me to have to stay up past my school bedtime (9:30) by about 45 minutes. Now, because "I procrastinated on my school work so I could play Xbox instead" she's taking my Xbox until the end of the summer, which fucking sucks because I start my full time job at the end of this month and that would mean that I have pretty much nothing to do here on my days off. (She doesn't like my other main hobby either which is Legos, so all of my Legos are locked in a shipping container on our property to "protect them from my siblings" which is ridiculous since none of them ever go in my room) And I'm also mad because she shows blatant favoritism to my younger siblings. One pretty easy way to see this is that me, the 17 who is graduating high school has a bedtime of 9:30, yet my nine year old sister gets to go to bed whenever she wants, and gets to keep her iPad in her room with her at night. My phone that I bought has to sit upstairs Infront of a security camera every night, and that's while its restricted after 9 pm so it can't do shit.
Another way is that they don't ever take anything from her when she gets in trouble,yet for literally no reason the minute I do something like saying "yeah let me double check real quick" while already playing after I finished some chores I had, I get the Xbox taken for a month because "I should know for sure that it's done before I even look at the Xbox"
Sorry about the ranting and poor grammar I just needed to get this all off my chest.

My kids are 4 and 7 and I love them to death and want to spend more quality time with them. I’ve never been much into pretend play and lately haven’t been capable of much physical stuff. On good days I try to get us to the beach, go for walks, etc and on bad days I’m in bed so we read chapter books, snuggle, watch movies….. but what else is there to do? Even on my good days now I am working with maybe 30% compared to the 100% someone without a chronic illness has to work with so… just looking for some more ideas. We play board games, chess, reading, coloring/painting…. But I feel pretty boring compared to their beloved screens and they don’t really wanna just “hang out” with me if they could just go play video games instead so what else can I entice them with to spend time with me? I know they want to and they don’t get enough time with me, I just also know it can be pretty boring to hang out with someone who has no energy and doesn’t feel very good. We’ve fallen into this trap of them coming home from school and going straight for the video games/tv until dinner time and then bedtime comes so fast. What can I do to get them off the screens and spending time with me when I’m not feeling like doing very much? I can’t change that part, but I do really want to spend more time with them. I know I’m the parent and can just say ok screen time is over (I do) but then they look to me for direction on what to do next, what are we doing now, and I got nothin!

Hi friends. I explained my situation in my last post and y’all told me I was crazy. Oh boy you were right. Pope bit me yesterday on the hand, level 3 bite probably but one of his canines went really deep into my hand. Just tell your friends about me when they say they want to petsit for some “easy money”. Now I’m trying to manage mr 80 lbs of aggression and prey drive with 1 working hand. His other sitter from my company who was supposed to take over from me tomorrow now feels uncomfortable (a sane response) so we have to figure out how to get his mom to come back before Sunday. I dug my damn grave and now it’s bedtime bitches.

We sleep trained once on our own at 4 months but things were getting worse again so we hired a sleep coach at 7 months. She advertised on her website she doesn’t do cry it out (no judgment against this method, I completely understand its necessity, this is a relevant detail for later). Her schedule change alone made a huge difference, plus adjusting how we handled night wakings/feedings. He started sleeping through the night on night 3. Yay sleep!
We would be thrilled with his schedule as is if he was totally happy and not tired. But he’s averaging 13.5 hours of sleep total, and it seems like maybe he needs a little more as he’s still tired. He occasionally has a short nap, and a slightly early morning waking
His schedule (from the coach) is: 7:30 bedtime Desired DWT is 7 but he is waking 6-6:30 still tired. 10:00 nap (or 3 hours after wake time/when we get him from crib), capped at an hour and a half. 2:45 nap capped at 4pm. Can be moved to 2:30 if needed but no earlier. So that middle wake window ranges from 3.25-3.75. And final wake window is 3.5
He wakes on his own from most naps, but I occasionally have to wake him.
Our sleep coach’s advice is a version of crib hour but an (IMO) unreasonable extension of it that Ive never seen before. She says if he wakes early from a nap to leave him there no matter how hard or how long he cries, not until the crib hour is up, but as long as it takes for him to fall back to sleep, she said even if it goes over an hour of intense crying. Same for EMW. No matter what, leave him to cry, again not until DWT, but as long as it takes for him to fall asleep. If he doesn’t fall back asleep, he is not being left alone for long enough (her words).
Isn’t this sort of cry it out, only much less reasonable?? He has independent sleep skills already. And the sleep pressure is so low after a short nap or a long night sleep, correct? The two times we attempted this (no where near as long as she said) he was very upset even after we got him from the crib and took awhile to calm down. She insists he is fine and does not care we are uncomfortable with his distress level. It just seems so weird to claim you are against cry it out, and use a more gradual method for bedtime and night wakings when sleep pressure is the highest (it’s essentially the chair method) but then have this as your ONLY option for short naps and EMW. Plus he would be hungry?? This also feels very unreasonable when there is a day of activities to be getting on with.
Has anyone tried this method and found it works? We are currently not following it as it isn’t sitting right with us. But I don’t want to avoid doing something that would genuinely help him get that last little bit of sleep. Or does anyone have alternate suggestions on how to fix the EMW?
The consultant is against me settling him back down for a short nap but I always read it’s fine to rescue a short nap 🤷‍♀️. He can put himself back to sleep during naps after the first sleep cycle, he just occasionally struggles to. Does anyone else do this and not ruin the sleep training?
Yesterday he woke from his second nap at 45 minutes, so he was awake 4 hours 3:30 to 7:30 and he slept til 7. But his total sleep for the day was still 13.5ish (11.5 overnight, and 2 hrs daytime). Is it possible he just won’t go past that? And he’s only still tired because he’s adjusting to the new schedule?

So for some backstory, I'm 13 year old boy and the entitled sister is 11. I have 3 sisters in total and I live a decent life. We have lived in Singapore all our lives.
Now this insanity has been going on for a few months now. So, my sister, who I'll call Emmy(thats not her real name), is literally always being a little spoiled by my parents. For instance, once I was studying for an examination and she wouldn't let me focus. Guess what? My parents took her side and scolded me. Another time, Emmy was being an absolute hypocrite, saying that we don't love each other when we always expect something in return. Guess what? She does that like even more than the rest of us combined. Anyways here's the thing. She has a habit of making small things into humongous deals. No early bedtime sine I need to do work? "DADDY! DADDY!" she goes over to my parents' room and starts whining about how her precious sleep being delayed like 30 min is going to ruin her life or something. Like she's always trying to get whatever she wants out of my parents and acts like she is supposed to have the authority over everyone in our house. Once, she blew up at our maids for not cooking what she wanted. Literally, she cried and screamed. Now, I have enough pain going to my insanely stressful school, and the last thing I need is for a jerk like her running around. Like, I know that I'm supposed to be the good big brother but she is making that impossible. Oh, and she actually has the nerve to ask me for help with her work sometimes.
So anyway, I've been putting up with this for a few months now, I remember another thing that she did. So I'm minding my own business, she comes in and asks for a favor. Now she has a habit of never helping people, and when she does she does the minimum effort required, So I'm like, what do I get in return? At hearing this, she starts crying and wailing about why we don't care for each other and that we're family, blah blah blah and starts complaining. At this point, I'm like excuse me, do you know that ur the one who does that the most, and always goes to daddy unless you get your way? I've met some people ike that, but she is on another level.
So Am I A Jerk for being mad? I have no idea what to do and am seeing counselors and psychologitts but it feels like life is closing in on me from every direction and I just feel so helpless

My husband has struggled with and been medicated for OCD, anxiety, and depression since he was a child. We’ve been married 10 years (this week). When we were dating in college, I knew he had some depressive episodes but he was still functional, social, happy at times, etc.
He deconstructed a year ago from the faith. While I don’t fully agree with his current belief system, there’s a lot that is better about his approach to the world despite our religious differences now. Any way, he says leaving the faith he’s “never been happier” but he has had more depressive episodes/days than not. It’s getting worse over the last 5 months or so.
He’s been in therapy for over a year now. He’s switched medicines, gotten diagnosed with adhd and started adderall, and even spent a small fortune on teas, tinctures, and supplements at this point.
It is deeply affecting our lives. We have a 5 year old, 4 year old, and 1 year old. There is not a single chore or task in this house or our lives I can depend on him to do consistently. It’s not that he always does nothing at all, it’s really inconsistent and unreliable for anything. He didn’t even set up auto payments on the car he purchased in February and I accidentally caught it. Brought to his attention- he still didn’t deal with it so now I’m managing those car payments as well.
I do all things kid. I do our finances. I mow our grass.
No “things around the house” get done unless I asked him to do them…. Repeatedly.
He gets debilitated in his depression and can literally not do anything but lay there on the couch and stare at the ceiling often.
I want to be a supportive spouse, but I can’t handle all 3 kids, the house, and adjusting our moods and expectations literally every day to something different with him. I’m also cleaning up after him, and trying to keep the kids fro bugging him without just handing them screens all the time. I am so emotionally and physically exhausted. I can’t keep up with the house by myself.
I feel so bratty being impacted by my husbands severe depression. He simply wont or cant do things like walk, eat well, etc. he disassociates on his phone like 90 percent of the time he’s home. He says the kids overstimulate him and he just kind of shuts down. Fair, I get it. But like… the show must go on and I need him to be a present parent emotionally and not another persons emotions I’m constantly working through. It’s like he will be happy and great part of the day, then completely shift mood and I have to pick up on it and adjust. He doesn’t tell me when it happens but will just be like “no I can’t” if I ask him to contribute.
He was depressed Mother’s Day so literally did nothing but lay around all day. He later apologized saying I deserved better. He’s not suicidal (or so he claims).
What is expected of me here? We both suspect bipolar and he’s said he’s coming to terms with the fact that he has severe depression and not just moderate. I am losing my mind functioning as a single parent all the time and getting no emotional support for myself. I feel like I always have to be strong, calm, the best parent I can be with no breaks or no sign of breaks.
He will keep the kids at bedtime but it’s not that fun to go grab dinner with a friend only to come home to 2 hours of chores to be done. He’s told me my expectations are unrealistic, but has since apologized. He will often say things like can’t we leave the dishes for tomorrow? With a full sink. He doesn’t get that he will be at work and that means it’s automatically going to be a task for me tomorrow, while he’s working, because we’re going to need dishes.
I guess any advice welcome. I’m struggling. I know marriage is in sickness and health and not always 50/50 but this has been months of this type of pattern and I am getting resentful and burnt out.
I know his depression is real and he’s not trying to give me a hard time but I am getting SO burnt out

This has been happening for a while now. My daughter will get a bit too excitable or aggressive (sometimes hitting) and then suddenly grab me by my clothes and forcefully say “I’m very cross!” (Meaning angry) Usually followed by “lie down, go to sleep!” Or “seatbelt on!”. It is never in context, it’s not at bedtime or when we are in the car she says this. I feel like it’s too weird to ignore because she is repeating it pretty much every day for weeks and we can’t seem to understand where it’s coming from. I don’t talk to her or treat her this way and I don’t think it’s her father either. I am usually the one in the car with her, but her dad puts her to bed. She does go to regular nursery but I can’t imagine she’s picking it up from there.
My question is, how do I get this new phrase to run its course faster or deal with this behaviour? Is it likely something that someone has done to her or is this from her imagination or picked up from another child? Should I be worried that someone is saying this to her on a regular basis to make her keep saying it as regularly as she does? It’s starting to worry me that people are going to think she’s treated like that at home if she won’t stop repeating it as well as shoving and barking orders at people at the same time. To this day, nursery has never made us aware of any hitting or pushing in their setting so it seems she only does it to me. Great!

We live in extra stressful times. That’s why a solid self-care Ideas routine is critical to keeping your you-know-what together (at least most of the time — it’s normal to have the occasional anxiety explosion.) And what taking care of yourself means is different depending not just on who you are, but on what you’re going through, how much time you have, what you find makes you feel less stressed, and what you can afford. Whatever your self-care routine winds up being for you, the important thing is that it gives you life, rather than sucking the life out of you.

11 Ways to Practice Self-Care

Self-care is crucial for maintaining both mental and physical well-being. Here are some ideas to consider:

• Regular Exercise:
  • Engage in physical activities that you enjoy, whether it’s going for a walk, practicing yoga, lifting weights, or dancing. Exercise releases endorphins, which can boost your mood and reduce stress.
• Healthy Eating:
  
  • Fuel your body with nutritious foods that provide energy and support overall health. Aim for a balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats.
• Adequate Sleep:
  
  • Prioritize getting enough sleep each night. Establish a relaxing bedtime routine and create a comfortable sleep environment to ensure quality rest.
• Mindfulness and Meditation:
  
  • Practice mindfulness meditation or deep breathing exercises to reduce stress, increase self-awareness, and promote relaxation.
• Journaling:
  
  • Write down your thoughts, feelings, and experiences in a journal. Journaling can help you process emotions, gain insight into yourself, and track your progress over time.
• Limit Screen Time:
  
  • Take breaks from screens, especially before bedtime. Too much screen time can disrupt sleep and contribute to feelings of stress and overwhelm.
• Set Boundaries
  
  • Learn to say no to things that drain your energy or cause unnecessary stress. Establish healthy boundaries in your relationships and prioritize your own needs.
• Connect with Others:
  
  • Spend time with friends, family, or supportive individuals who lift you and make you feel valued. Social connections are important for mental health and can provide a sense of belonging and support.

Self-Care Ideas-Some features:

• Engage in Hobbies: Make time for activities that bring you joy and fulfillment, whether it’s painting, playing music, gardening, or crafting.
  
• Nature and Fresh Air: Spend time outdoors in nature, whether it’s going for a hike, taking a walk in the park, or simply sitting outside and enjoying the fresh air and sunlight.
  
• Practice Gratitude: Cultivate a gratitude practice by regularly reflecting on the things you’re thankful for. Focusing on the positives in your life can improve your mood and overall outlook.
  
• Seek Professional Help: If you’re struggling with your mental health, don’t hesitate to seek support from a therapist, counselor, or mental health professional.
  
• Therapy can provide valuable tools and strategies for managing stress, anxiety, depression, and other challenges.
  

Remember that self-care is a personal journey, and it’s important to find what works best for you. Experiment with different activities and practices, and prioritize self-care as an essential part of your routine.
Learn More: https://senzicare.com/

Another sleep deprived parent checking in at 4am! So I think my LO is giving us signs that he’s over the Snoo, but it’s happening earlier than expected so I’m looking for some advice. Our LO is just over 16 weeks approaching an official 4 month old. He’s been in the Snoo since he was 2.5 weeks - he was a terrible sleeper and we were desperate so we made the purchase after he was born lol. Ok time for what we’re experiencing:
-When he was around 14 weeks I think he started a regression. We’d put him down around 10pm (that time previously worked best for him) and then he’d wake up at 2:30 like clockwork, and would then wake up every 45 minutes until we got him up for the day at 7am. This lasted for about a week.
-After that regression, we changed the bedtime routine and would put him down mostly awake around 8:30.pm. This worked well for about a week.
-Lately it seems like he’s not content with the Snoo. We have to put his paci in more frequently even though he never needed it for sleep the first 3 months.
-He seems to squirm and fight the swaddle. We’ve tried one arm out but he was so distracted by having the arm he didn’t sleep so we cut that. I’d say about 2 times a week he still will get an arm out from his side.
-The whale stomping is so loud. He will slam his feet if he wakes up in the Snoo. Maybe this is also him fighting the swaddle?
-We’ve always had motion limiter on, but if the Snoo kicks up to level 1 or level 2 he gets even more pissed. Like progressively louder crying with each automatic bump up.
-Lastly, the little homie takes crib naps at daycare just fine. He’s a great sleeper there and he’s getting 1.5 hour naps with no motion.
I’m thinking about getting him a magic merlin sleep suit and moving him to his crib. But this would also mean he’s in his own room. He has been rolling belly to back and is very close to roll back to belly so that’s impacting the situation as well. Would love some thoughts and guidance from those that have experienced something similar. Again, this is all happening earlier than expected but I think all 3 of us could benefit from solid sleep.

Long post-please read!!! My daughters dad and i split up when i was 4 months pregnant. He was emotionally and mentally abusive, and had cheated on me. Never helped with our toddler for anything, i did all the baths, bedtime, morning routine, take care of her when shes sick, take her to daycare and pick her up, doctors appointments, EVERYTHING. And it has stayed this way since i had left, the baby is now 5 months old. He has paid zero child support, and has seen the baby maybe 10 hrs since shes been home from hospital. He wont even change her diapers when he does have her for a few hours. He takes our toddler maybe 48 hrs out of the week, but only when its convenient for him. And he works 9-9 most days, including Saturdays. And despite not paying any child support since july 2023, he managed to purchase a 370,000 home, but says he cant afford CS. Fast forward to now, hes wanting 50/50 custody of both children since his new gf is moving in with him, without having been an active parent in their life or contributing financially in anyway. I want sole custody, allowing him visitation rights, but i know courts favor joint custody. Looking for personal experience from others in maybe similar situations, and advice on how to go about it and what to expect in the court process. (He says hes taking me to court for custody, i want to beat him to it)

Our current schedule is 7am wake, 12-2pm nap, 8.30pm sleep. This has worked since he was about 15/16 months old. We do a bedtime routine, he goes to bed happy and says night night no issue.
Then just one day, he refused to get in his crib. I cannot think of anything that may have triggered it. He is going through SOME separation anxiety with me, not wanting to be alone i.e if i leave the room to go use the toilet, he will call out and look for me. Small things like that, nothing major. Goes to daycare just fine.
2 days ago it started and he would not get in his crib. If i say its bed time he will shake his head no. I have tried leaving him to cry it out for about 10-15 mins but he was just screaming his head off. The past 2 nights he slept in my bed but im 5 months pregnant and while I can do this now I want to fix it ASAP. When i leave to go to the toilet in the night he wants to come with.
The last time he had a round of separation anxiety at 10 months it lasted 5-6 weeks. But he did not react as intense.
Should I move him to a toddler bed? His cot is a convertible so just needs a side removed. Or sleep train in his cot and do CIO? Do we need a schedule change? We have always done CIO in the past. Its just soo intense this time.

My daughter is 3.5, I love her and she is driving me absolutely insane.
There was no switch at 2, or 3, her behavior has just slowly been ramping up over the past yeayear and a half. She is constantly demanding “her” music, “her” shows, screaming no at her baby brother, screaming no at the dog, and giving conditional affection to mom and dad depending on how much we are willing to give her her way.
She screams and clings to me every day (3 days a week) when I drop her off at daycare. I haven’t been able to give her baby brother any attention at drop off because the morning is spent trying to get her settled without too much drama about being dropped off. So the daycare teacher requested trying something new, setting the expectation that I will walk her in, give her a big hug and kiss and turn around and leave. So yeah, still no time to tend to baby brother who is also going through separation anxiety.
I pick her up today, play “her” songs on the way home (Taylor Swift). She’s jamming, we’re talking about her day, I’m telling her I’m so proud of her for being a big girl at school. Come home, make dinner while we’re still listening to Taylor Swift. She refuses dinner. Pizza bread, zucchini, and applesauce. Says she doesn’t feel good and wants cheerios. I check her throat, it looks red, maybe she isn’t feeling well, give her cheerios. She requests to watch some TV. We watch “her” show (Scooby Doo). Time for bed. Fights brushing her teeth. Screams bloody murder when I try to brush her hair. I finally lost my shit and yelled at her to knock her shit off before she wakes her brother up. Take her upstairs and finish brushing her hair while she’s SCREAMING.
I apologize for losing my patience with her. Ask her if she wants a hug. She says no and wants me to leave her room. Requests daddy to read to her and stay in her room for bedtime. I leave feeling sad and guilty, and knowing that I get to do it all over again tomorrow starting with a horrific daycare drop off.
This is mostly just a rant but also is she acting this way because we are just spoiling the shit out of her? I only work 3 days a week. The other days we usually have something planned, swim, gymnastics, lots of outside time now that the weather is getting better. I go back and forth between “this is normal” and “this gentle parenting shit is bullshit and my child is spoiled and needs much firmer boundaries”. I never was the type to sleep train or withhold meals if they’re not willing to eat what I made and stuff like that but I’m starting to question my methods.

"Here comes the airplane!" sang my husband, John, as he waved a forkful of scrambled eggs in my face.
"You're such an idiot," I laughed. I opened my mouth.
We were at our favourite cafe, 'Heavenly,' on a glorious Sunday morning. Sunlight streamed in and illuminated the rising stream from countless mugs of coffee and tottering stacks of pancakes. The place was packed.
"We've all know that for years!" Oscar the owner called out. People chuckled.
Moments later, a short, skinny woman, probably in her early-twenties, with bright purple hair passed by our table. As soon as she saw John, she froze. He did the exact same thing.
They stared at each other. The woman glanced at me and quickly walked away. I noticed several white horizontal scars on her upper arm.
John looked dazed. His forehead and upper lip were sweaty.
"Who was that?"
"Huh?"
"Who. Was. That. John?"
He shook his head and looked away. "Nobody."
John was tight-lipped all the way home. He kept his eyes fixed on the road.
I talked faster. And louder. My whole body felt wound tight. Images flashed through my mind: me leaving him, living somewhere else, our divorce....
That night, I watched John read the kids a bedtime story. Calmly and tenderly. Whatever he'd done, John was an amazing father. I knew he'd set himself on fire before he'd ever let harm come to our children.
We were in our bedroom.
"I had a run-in with her. But I've done nothing wrong."
"So you do know her?"
"Well all have a past, Maddie."
"And what does that mean?"
"Well, even you have a past...."
I stared at him, suddenly fearful. Then I lost it.
"That was years ago! I was a completely different person! You know this. How could you...." I fell silent. Tears sprang into my eyes.
He stared at me, stony-faced.
"Drop it," he warned me.
The next morning, I walked into Heavenly.
"Morning, Oscar!"
He attempted a smile.
"Listen, Oscar, I know this sounds crazy, but... there's a woman with purple hair. She was here -"
"I remember."
"I know it's weird but I need to talk to her. Does she come often?"
I noticed the silence. I looked around me but everyone looked down at their plates.
As I left, I distinctly heard a voice say "so it's true...."
At 5 pm I got into the elevator. I'd used it for 5 years, but had never really noticed how nice it was. I couldn't wait to get home and hug my kids. And squeeze them. And even see John. For better or worse....
In the lobby, two police officers were waiting for me. I froze.
"Maddie Burns?" said the young one.
My legs felt weak.
"Your husband called us. We want to question you about the disappearance of Violet Cas."
My stomach turned, but I straightened up and looked them dead in the eye. I raised my voice.
"You mean my husband, the child abuser?"

I have a sweet older terrier who is my first baby. She is having a terrible time with the new baby, now almost 5 mos old. Really need some advice or stories or hope.
She was a rescue we got about 5 years ago and had separation anxiety, so she’s already on a daily Prozac. We take walks with the baby at least twice a day and I try to give her individual attention when the baby is sleeping, but I’m on my own with both of them Monday-Friday bc my husband is traveling for work and I just don’t have a lot more to give at this point after work, bath time, bedtime, washing bottles, cleaning house, etc etc etc.
She seems to like the baby okay enough and sometimes will lick her hand, but mostly just looks at me with the baby with the saddest eyes that say “why am I not good enough for that attention” and it’s killing me.
She sleeps with me, which I hope communicates that she’s still in “my pack” but a lot of times just lays down sadly in the other room till I drag her in for bed.
How can I help my pup know that this is temporary and I still love her?
Looking for advice and success stories!

Let’s talk about rescue dogs!!
A really common issue we find when people take on a rescue dog is that they feel incredibly sorry for them - most often without having much information about their past we tend to imagine the worst case scenario and then use that to explain all of the dog’s unwanted behaviour!!
Don’t get me wrong some rescues are in a very sorry state and have had a traumatic time but in the everyday rehoming of dogs- the majority have just not been a good “fit” with their owners!
We then make allowances for every single thing they do by imagining the cause..
“he doesn’t like men as a man hit him”
“She doesn’t like mops so someone must have hit her with a mop”
“he doesn’t like people wearing hats as someone wearing a hat was horrible to him” when actually we have no idea what has caused it and to be honest the normal main cause is lack of socialising at an early age where they were not exposed to multiple situations and people wearing hats 🤷‍♀️
But even so we take them in and give them everything a dog could dream of without asking anything in return because they’ve had such an (imagined) terrible life!
So if you took in a foster child - with an unknown past, showing bad behaviour - would you make allowances for their bad behaviour and let them do what they please?
Let them go to bed when they choose?
Eat when and whatever they like?
Run around the house jumping on Furniture?
Shout and scream at you!?
And whenever questioned on their terrible anti-social behaviour explain that they had a bad life before you stepped in!?
No of course you wouldn’t because not only would you be allowing them to continue the behaviour you’re setting them and yourself up to fail in the future!!!
So you would impose simple kind boundaries like a bedtime, feeding routine, rules and boundaries and the child would begin to feel secure and safe! That would be the kindest thing to do - let them know what is expected and let them acclimatise and understand how to act!
But with dogs…. We bring them in and let them absolutely do whatever they want with no questions 🤣🤣 they rampage through our houses and lives and we say oh well - it’s because they had such a bad upbringing before we got them - well no actually it’s because they have no boundaries or discipline in your home because you feel so bad for them!! 🤷‍♀️
And yes some dogs have had a horrendous time but you know what?? Same applies we can’t feel desperately sorry for them forever we need to rebuild them and give them support and a cheerleading squad to show them there’s a brighter better life for them and that you, their owner is totally in control and you’ve got this!!! Give them trust and belief in your skills to move forward rather them see you as someone who is unable to make decisions and rules!!
It makes a massive difference!!
For anyone struggling with reactivity, these are a good place to start: https://braintrianing4dogs.com/Dog-Reactivity.
Having a reactive dog can be a lonely experience that affects your entire life. Knowing there are people out there who understand and empathize makes it easier.

DISCLAIMER: This respectful and civil debate is oriented towards muslims. For the sake of the moderators time and also the readers I will only list 5 problems I've found. But don't worry I have 20 more to post if this post has more traffic!
According to the Quran, Jesus was a prophet of Islam, his followers were Muslims and the gospel is the inspired preserved authoritative word of Allah. But when we go to our earliest records, we find Jesus claiming to be the Divine Son of God who would die on the cross for sins and rise from the dead. Jesus followers proclaimed him as their Risen Lord, the gospel that Christians have been reading for nearly 2,000 years tells us that "Anyone who claims to be a prophet, rejects Jesus death, resurrection and deity is a false prophet and an antichrist" - 1 John 2:22, a verse to remember.
Problem 1. Earlier Records for Paul's Life than for Muhammad's Life - Our records of Paul's life are much earlier than our records of Muhammad's life. And here I don't just mean that Paul came centuries before Muhammad and so we have earlier sources for Paul's life, I mean that when we talk about the teachings and deeds of Paul the biographical sources we use are much closer to the events they report than the biographical sources we use when we talk about the teachings and deeds of Muhammad. Our earliest biographical sources on Paul were written during the lifetime of Paul. The book of Acts for example was written in the early 60s before Paul was martyred, and it was written by a traveling companion of Paul who was an eyewitness to many of the details he reports. We also have numerous letters written by Paul himself. Our earliest detailed biographical source on Muhammad is the sirah (biographical literature), especially the work of Ibn Ishaq (d. 768) which was written more than a century after Muhammad's death. And we don't even have what Ibn Ishaq actually wrote. We have an Abridged version that was sanitized by a later scholar and we shouldn't forget that many Muslims don't trust Ibn Ishaq. When Muslims quote stories about Muhammad, they're usually getting their information from sources like Sahih Al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim, which were written two centuries after the time of Muhammad.
Problem 1.1. But it gets worse... The main reason for composing works like Sahih Al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim was that Muslims were composing so many false stories about Muhammad, people didn't know what to believe. Scholars like Bukari decided that they needed to collect stories they thought were accurate in order to distinguish them from the ever increasing supply of false narrations. Now if Muslims during the time of Bukhari were inventing stories about Muhammad, what about the generation before that, and the generation before that..? And the generation before that? Two centuries is a lot of time to make things up, that's why it's always good to have sources written within the lifetime of the person you want to know about or at least within the lifetimes of the eyewitnesses. When we learn about Paul we learn about him through first generation eyewitness accounts. When we learn about Muhammad, we learn about him through late sources written by people who didn't know him, whose parents didn't know him and whose grandparents didn't know him. People who were fishing for historical facts in a sea of fabrication and deception. A few years ago the crumbling historical foundations for the life of Muhammad led the Islamic scholar Muhammad Sven Kalisch to conclude that Muhammad probably never existed. I don't agree with Dr Kalisch's conclusion about Muhammad's existence, but when even Muslim Scholars are starting to recognize how difficult it's become to take Muslim sources seriously our confidence in the historical Muhammad vanishes.
Problem 2. Paul Was a brillian scholar; Muhammad Was Not - The Apostle Paul was a brilliant scholar who defended his views in Athens, the intellectual capital of the ancient world, and in other major cities. He had discussions with the Stoic and Epicurian philosophers of his day and he could quote their sources to them. Even Anthony Flu, one of the 20th Century's most impressive critics of Christianity, said that the Apostle Paul possessed a first class philosophical mind. Muhammad by contrast was an illiterate 7th Century Caravan Trader. Now being an illiterate 7th Century Caravan Trader doesn't make you wrong, just as being a brilliant scholar doesn't make you right. But when we're dealing with claims about history and theology and various other topics having some sort of education helps. Not having an education leaves you open to obviously false revelations because you don't know enough to recognize them as false. This is why we find Muhammad telling his followers that Dhul-Qarnain traveled so far west he found the place where the sun sets, and that stars are missile that Allah uses to shoot demons, and that semen is formed between the backbone and the ribs. These are exactly the sort of absurdities we would expect from someone who has no clue what he's talking about, and who therefore has no clue whether his revelations line up with reality.
Problem 3. Paul knew the Old Testament; Muhammad Did Not - The Apostle Paul was a Pharisee who studied under Rabban Gamaliel II, one of the greatest Jewish rabbis of the first century. Paul knew the Old Testament inside and out which is why he quotes the Old Testament so frequently in his writings. This is important because Jesus claimed to fulfill a variety of Old Testament prophecies and you can't really examine this claim if you don't know what the Old Testament says. Muhammad was almost completely ignorant of the Old Testament because his knowledge of the Jewish scriptures was limited to what he heard in conversations. Not surprisingly despite Muhammad's numerous interactions with Jews in Arabia the Quran contains very few quotations from the Old Testament. Due to his ignorance of the scriptures Muhammad couldn't tell the difference between stories that were in the Torah and therefore divine revelation and stories from later Jewish writings and commentaries some of which were so late and so obviously fabricated they weren't far beyond the level of bedtime stories. Imagine how amusing it must be for someone who specializes in Jewish literature, to read the Quran and find so many fables being presented to Muslims as Revelation. Cain being taught how to bury the dead by a raven (al-Ma`idah (The Table, The Table Spread) 5:31), Solomon listening to a speech by an ant (Surah An-Naml - 15-25). But Muhammad just didn't know enough to distinguish scripture from non-scripture. Muhammad's ignorance of the Old Testament is also noteworthy because, like Jesus, he claimed to fulfill Old Testament prophecies. If Muhammad had been more knowledgeable of the Torah, he would have known that he couldn't possibly be a prophet for numerous reasons. For instance:
Problem 3.1 Muslim sources report that Muhammad once delivered what are now called "The Satanic Verses" to his followers. These verses promoted prayers to three pagan goddesses, Al-Lat and Al-'Uzza and Manat (Surah 53:19-20). Muhammad bowed down in honor of these polytheistic verses and his followers bowed down with him. But a little later Gabriel confronted Muhammad about his sin, Muhammad confessed in the history of AT-TABARI 6:111. So Muhammad admitted that he delivered a revelation that didn't really come from God. Why is this important? Well in Deuteronomy 18:20 "God declares but a prophet who presumes to speak in my name anything I have not commanded or a prophet who speaks in the name of other gods is to be put to death".
Problem 3.2 Muslims claim that they respect Moses, but if Muhammad had delivered "The Satanic Verses" during the time of Moses, Moses would have ordered the people to pick up stones and stone him to death as the most obvious false prophet in history. Muhammad didn't realize this due to his lack of familiarity with the Jewish scriptures.
Problem 4. Paul Was a Contemporary of Jesus Muhammad was not - The apostle Paul was a contemporary of Jesus and he spent much of his time in first century Israel, this put Paul in a perfect position to gain accurate historical information about Jesus. If you want reliable information about a person it's pretty helpful being a member of the person's own generation. And Paul was right there. Muhammad was born more than half a millennium after Jesus death in a completely different country. Since he couldn't read, apart from Divine Revelation his knowledge of Jesus was limited to whatever stories were popular in 7th Century Arabia. This is why when we read the Quran we find so many stories about Jesus that are known to be forgeries. Mary giving birth under a palm tree Surah Maryam - 16-26, Jesus preaching when he was still a baby Surat Maryam [19:29-34], Jesus giving life to clay birds Surah Al-Ma'idah - 110. We know where these stories come from, and they don't come from the first century.
Problem 5. Paul Spoke the Relevant Lanugaes Muhammad Didn't - The Apostle Paul was fluent in Hebrew Aramaic and Greek. All of the languages necessary for understanding the Old Testament, the claims of Jesus and the earliest Christian writings. Muhammad couldn't speak any of the relevant languages so any attempt to understand the Old Testament, the claims of Jesus, or the earliest Christian writings would have required the help of interpreters. I normally wouldn't bring this up as a problem, but since Muslims are obsessed with reading the Quran in the original Arabic, we can only assume that the writings of Moses, the teachings of Jesus and the writings of Jesus followers can only be understood in the original languages. Paul could do that, Muhammad couldn't. Muhammad's ignorance of the original languages leads to further problems: For example the Quran refers to the book revealed through, Jesus as the "Injil", but the Arabic word Injil is ultimately derived from the Greek word "Evangelion" meaning good news. So according to the Quran the book, revealed through Jesus was written in Greek, this makes absolutely no sense if Jesus was only sent to his fellow Jews as Islam claims, but it makes perfect sense if Jesus message was for the rest of the world as well since Greek was the international language of the time. Interestingly the New Testament gospels were written in Greek, exactly what we would expect given the quran's use of the term Injil, but quite unexpected given Muhammad's notion of Jesus life and mission, not to mention Muhammad's conviction that Revelations can't be translated. Quite hypocritical indeed.

I'm hoping to come up with a schedule we can lightly implement. My baby is only 13 weeks so I know things are still likely to shift around. I'm pretty sure we're in the midst of the 4 month sleep regression already. See some of my previous posts for history. We think he had night/day confusion we were able to correct with a routine and exposing him to daylight and lots of stimulation and tummy time and stuff.
The last weekish he has been sleeping 10-12 hours a night and barely napping during the day. He gets very distracted during feeds, will rip his head away to look at stuff, wakes extremely easily during naps, won't let me put him down, it can take 30 minutes or more to get him to nap with methods that were tried and true and took maybe 10 minutes tops before (he won't even nap in his carrier, only right next to me after nursing while I'm pretty much holding him with the boppy for support. He's been a lot fussier in general, is starting to spin in circles on the floor and in his crib, rolling onto his side, and during tummy time he's very close to rolling onto his back (I think he's motivated bc he isn't a big fan of tummy time lol). All of this is to say I think developmentally and as far as signs go, even though it's quite early I'm pretty sure he's going through the regression right now. Also, this is almost identical to what the regression looked like with my first (although he was closer to 4 months when it happened for him).
I'm hoping as the dust starts to settle, whenever that may be, that I can implement a rough schedule that aligns with the family schedule.
Here is what our schedule is now
6:45-7am up for the day 7am nurse 7:35 walk big brother to the bus stop 8am home
Then all day in between is pretty much a free for all-I've only been trying to watch his sleep cues and make sure he's eating enough. Though mostly trying not to fall asleep myself while he refuses to nap.
~3:25pm nurse if we haven't in awhile 3:55pm leave to pickup big brother from the bus stop 4:15pm home
Free for all again but there's usually a nap anywhere from 45-90 minutes in there, plus we're making dinner and taking care of random things for the big kid
7-7:15pm begin nighttime routine: bath, jammies, take medicine (gas medicine and Tylenol for teething), read a book, nurse to sleep ~8pm usually asleep
He usually wakes between 1-3 times before we get up the next morning. One magical unicorn day he slept through but that is not the norm.
How much should he be napping during the day? Is his bedtime too early for him to be waking by 6:45/7am? What times should I be aiming to have him nap so we can be up in time to pick up his brother and also make sure he can get another nap at the correct interval before bedtime?

Please tell me it gets better
So my son turned 1 year on 4/12. He has always been a Velcro baby stage 5 clinger. He hated his bassinet, he hated his bouncer, he hated pacifiers. After about 3 months we started bed sharing. We’ve always nursed to sleep for all naps and bedtime and night wakings. I tried sleep training but it wasn’t for me. He cries to the point of hysterics and cries for hours and gets physically sick and hyperventilates. So he still sleeps with me. But he has started taking more and more small naps 20-40 mins and waking up every 30-90 mins at night and needs to nurse back to sleep. (He used to sleep like 4-5 hours between wakings but teething has made things rough too). I don’t mind really but I am lying if I say I’m not exhausted and struggling. My family gives me hell about how I created a monster. But I’m not ready to give up EBF. Which I’ve been pressured to do so with them since I started breastfeeding when he was born.
Will he eventually be able to sleep alone some day and fall asleep once he weans?
Has anyone else gone through this? Did your baby eventually move to their own bed? How did that transition go?
Bed sharing and nursing to sleep always felt natural to me and still does. I just wish he napped and slept longer chunks. Will he some day sleep in his own crib/room? I don’t really know what to do.