I work for a private ambulance company and we had a psych transfer. I drove while my partner was in the back, his job is to monitor vitals as this wasn’t an emergent call. He’s constantly flirting with our female coworkers at the station and he had the same song and dance with this little girl, a vulnerable person who’s being transferred to a mental health hospital of all fuckin places. I tried drowning it all out with the radio because I was so put off by it but at the same time I was eavesdropping in case anything truly inappropriate was said. I never liked my partner because he’s inept and lazy but now he’s just an irredeemable worm to me.

I (21F) am part of a very religious and traditionally strict family. When my sister (40, Alice) got married her husband (40, Stephen) and his brother (mid 40s, Joseph) moved into the house next door (my dad helped them get it and their jobs since they emigrated from a different country). Stephen and Joseph came to our house at mealtimes to eat (since they're men and obvs can't cook /s).
One day Joseph came to eat and he had a helium balloon to give me (i was 5 at the time), I was in the bathroom and instead of leaving it there or giving it to one of my many family members, he decided to take it back with him. After he'd left, someone told me about the balloon so I went to get it with my brother (34 now, 18 then, Simon), my brother went to park his car from the driveway into the garage and told me to quickly go and get it. I went in and I couldn't reach it since it was stuck to the ceiling so asked Joseph to get it down for me to, which he said "take your pants off first".
Even at that age I knew I shouldn't do this because not only did it feel wrong but my mom had also repeatedly told me to be careful, modest and stay away from boys (religious and all, she instilled these beliefs in me from back then and I have older sisters who were thought they same things but more strictly so I was the same). So I didn't do anything and was like "no, give it to me". He kept insisting but by that point my brother had also come in and he got it down for me and we went home. Idk if my brother heard but he never mentioned it.
Stephen on the other hand seemed like a nice guy, was good to my sister and all of us siblings and treated us nicely. Throughout the years he somehow flipped, around the time that their sister (Tammy) married my brother. Now, my sister and Stephen can't stand each other but stay together for the sake of their kids and because they know that if they divorce the same will happen to their respective siblings.
A similar thing has already happened in their family, basically their other brother (Cameron) and sister (Sammy) are also married to a pair of siblings. Cameron was caught fucking a random other girl in a field so his wife's brother who is married to Sammy openly dated and had a mistress while still being married. They basically want to avoid another situation like this, our culture is very family oriented and one couple cannot break up and the other stay together.
So basically my sister Alice is scared of her husband and his brothers doing stuff to her children because she lived with them for a decade and they were physically abusive to the kids and also weird in a pedo way. Although they didn't do anything sexual during this time (that I know of; me being so much younger means they don't tell me some stuff) I don't have any doubts about why she thinks that because I know they have these kind of tendencies and wouldn't put it past them to try on their little children.
I believe this because Stephen recently told his 9 year old son about how to "feel good" and get a "warm reaction" when rubbing his private parts. Now his son is 10, and Stephen took him to his bedroom and "laid on top of [my nephew] and jumped and pressed into" in my nephews words. I have nothing against secual education, or masturbation, but 9 years old is too young and humping your son is also a unacceptable.
On the other hand, my sister in law Tammy has a habit of watching porn on our TV, which is in the living room and used by everyone (mostly for the children to watch cartoons on or for family movie nights, ironically). Additionally, she was caught by my brother chatting up my other brother in law (35, Elias). Elias was my brother Simon's best friend since they were toddlers and he strongly denied anything happening between him and Tammy, but his wife (my sister Felice, 32) has previously caught Tammy doing this thing and told my brother Simon. He didn't believe her until we were all vacationing together 2 years ago and he saw it happen first hand. Since then Simon and Elias haven't talked to each other and their wives are basically no contact with each other (Simon and Felice still talk tho, although its more of a small talk kinda relationship so not very close).
Another thing I hate is that Tammy is hateful towards me and my all my sisters, but I will focus on Alice. Alice lives in a one bedroom with her 6 kids, she relies on her husband Stephen for money and everything else, he has control of all the banks and all the government benefits they receive for the kids. He recently sent 20000 back to his family in a different country and sends an additional 1000 every month. His family bought 4 houses in the past 2/3 years, while Alice's kids literally get bullied because they dont have the right equipment for school, their lunches, their clothes and other such reasons.
One of these was when their washing machine broke when Alice was 7 months pregnant and she had to wash the clothes by hand. She tried to talk to my parents and brother Simon and his wife Tammy to persuade Stephen to buy a new one cuz she physically couldn't anymore, to which Tammy responded with "whatever happens, whether something breaks or not, he's not gonna fix it and we're not gonna get you a new one. If you wanna stay here stay otherwise fuck off". My brother shouted at her and then her crocodile tears came out, but in the end my brother had to buy a washing machine for my sister Alice. Stephen also has a habit of leaving his wife with their 6 kids for months on end when he goes to his home country, this happened when she was pregnant twice.
When I was 14, they also tried to arrange a meeting for me to get married to their younger brother who is 7-8 years older than me. My parents and I both rejected this thought without hesitation.
I feel like their whole family is sexually fucked up and I hate them so much, I'm scared for all their kids and feel like either they will rape them or teach them that these things are normal, so they will grow up to be like them. Naturally I want neither of these things, I love my niblings and wish we could just get rid of Tammy and Stephen, but in our culture divorce is frowned upon and people make a really big deal out of it. Plus both Alice and Simon love their kids, and one of them would have to probably give up on them if the divorces took place.
Idk if I should report Stephen or how to help Alice, pls lmk if there's something I could do, if not pls help me sort out my thoughts and thank you for listening to my rant.

Call me only in the club when that hard liquor is deciding my every move, even if sober me disapproves, call me only in the club when I will let you kiss me in the dark, I’m having to keep my composure as the kiss is dry and I want to die inside, call me only in the club and describe me as the black sheep of my friends, it’s not like that offends me, though my thoughts are disguised with a smile and I’ll probably dance it of like I’m in the middle of the wild, call me only in the club and give me a glacé and I’ll believe I’m in a romance, and I will grieve my lack of love, I’ve convinced myself I will turn into a fossil before you call me darling, yet you aren’t even that charming when the lights come on, a club is no place for a girl who likes to write, I think it’s the hope I might get a call back the next night.

Hey,
I’m confused and I don’t know how to feel right now.
For context, I worked as a waitress for a total of six years: at a pub, gastro pub, yacht club and family restaurant (with bartending experience at the yacht club and family restaurant).
I have a long-term friend in the industry who works as an on-call bartender for someone who owns both a dive bar and club in our city.
One night, we were having drinks and she asked me if I wanted to take her boss up on becoming a shooter girl.
I decided to take her up on it and we both went to his club to meet him.
After meeting the owner, he got us both drunk, and brought us outside. He asked to speak to me privately, and told me he could only offer a morning position, and that he didn’t have any room for nights. I politely declined because I also work full-time and mornings wouldn’t work.
He then spoke to my friend privately, told her he thinks I’m attractive, and while he wouldn’t want me to be a bartender, is looking for sugar babies.
I then spoke to him 1-on-1 and rejected his offer saying I was seriously interested in bartending. He responded with “I have too many people working nights”, and that was the end.
The next day she showed me messages he sent her asking if he knew anyone who could bartend on the weekend because he was short staff.
I’m just really confused. Is this normal in the club and bartending scene?? How can I not be seen as suitable to be a bartender but instead this grimy man’s sugar baby?? Excuse me?!
It’s not like I don’t have experience, I’ve been in the industry for six years. I don’t get it.
Thanks.

I have an old non-Muslim friend from college who I started to feel was less my friend as we got older. He would sometimes talk about me when not around, and be snoopy through stuff of mine. I cut ties when he hung out with someone who threatened me after i made it clear i wanted no parts with the person. Long story short, we do not hang out much at all, but he’ll come over here and there due to mutual friends maybe a couple times a year. (I am in America so people have bf/gf often).
Anyways, recently I went to a friends party, some people were Muslim, most weren’t. I did not want to go, but I showed up to be supportive. Apparently, one of the girls there was my old friend’s spouse. She knew of me, saying he mentioned me all the time, but I knew nothing of her. She was hurt by the fact that I did not know her and that she wasn’t mentioned. I tried to assure her that my old friend didn’t mention her because we don’t talk much and she felt better. However, later that night, one of the guys there told me he was leaving to hang out with a girl, when he said it she walked up to him and left with another guy as he put her hand around her shoulder. I was shocked and didn’t know what to do so I avoided it.
I said nothing of this to my old friend. It just feels like drama and I want no parts. I guess I’m just asking if there is anyone who can reference Quran or a scholar that may know the best way to go about this from some sort of Hadith or anything. Again, I am American so people date here. I have been doing Istighfar daily but I want to make sure it is okay for me to avoid this. My old friend called me a day later saying how much he likes her and introduced her to his parents.

Hi, ENFP girl here. Recently met an ENFJ guy and fell face forward for him. About a week into knowing him he asked if I liked him and I told him yeah. He told me that he’s interested but not at this moment as he’s currently pursuing another girl and asked about being friends.
I said sure and it’s been a blast. I picked up he spends way more time with me and talking to me than he does with the other girl. We talk all the time and I’ve even stayed over his place (nonsexual). He pretty much lets me do what I want as far as physical intimacy and the more we hangout, seems the more open and vulnerable hes gotten. I’ve opened myself to him completely and now hes began talking about very deep things he hides away and I comfort him about it as he does for me. We pretty much spend most of our free time together and a lot of people think we’re together and have questioned why not. As much as I love our time spent together, I’m the one who ends up leaving because I want him to have his space to adventure and explore otherwise I’d be with him every single day. He did tell me he loves spending time with me and he goes out of his way for me very often. I do the same for him to show him he’s loved and appreciate. Our emotional connect seems to run pretty deep and we became quickly comfortable with eachother. He even remembers everything about me which no one ever has.
As far as the other girl, she’s not a big talker, kind of flaky and doesn’t really communicate with him. He likes her a LOT but she doesn’t really reciprocate back and now he’s began questioning their situation. Only met her once or twice but she’s a constant hot and cold and it upsets him. Has known her for 2 months. He asked if he could talk about it with me, and I let him know of course. He said he didn’t want to make me uncomfortable since he knows I like him. I still want to be there for him regardless so I put my feelings aside, I want him to feel supported.
I’ve met some of his friends as well and they all say I’m his type, they aren’t sure why he’s stuck on the other girl and that they didn’t like her that much. I personally don’t have any other love interest and I’m not looking so I don’t mind just being here for now. Do you think I should stay around and hope for the best or back off and let him figure it out? We are definitely more than friends and less than lovers and openely discuss this. He did mention anything being possible in the future but I don’t want to get strung along if he’s just saying that to make me happy. He’s very genuine. Thxxxxx

So this was removed from nosleep due to an "incomplete story" but I really like it the way I wrote it originally so here it is. Currently working on editing it to fit nosleep properly but we'll see.
*** “She left me.” Muffled sobs dampen my shoulder as I hold my best friend close. “I’ll never see her again.”
I’m sorry, sweetie,” I try to soothe, but she’s inconsolable. It’s a pity, too…her last girlfriend was such a nice girl. I hate to think of where she is now.
“Dani, will you stay with me?” I can’t say no to those wide, pleading eyes, the crystalline tears streaming down her cheeks. I can never say no to her.
Lila and I (both mid-20s F) have been best friends for as long as I can remember. My first memories as a child include her, and according to my parents we’ve been inseparable from day one. I don’t really remember her parents, though, but she’s always been an independent girl. An independent girl who depends on others for validation, which is something she refuses to admit. But I know that. I know her.
I’ve been in love with her since we were teens, and that was also when she started dating around, falling in love with girl after girl. I resigned myself to the best friend role, telling myself that someday I would be the one to take center stage, but I was content with being the shoulder to cry on, the comforting voice accompanied by back rubs.
She would inevitably break up with her girlfriends, or they would break up with her, which was more surprising considering how starstruck each one would look. Each one was smitten with her, so why would they simply leave her? And why, after every single break up, would they leave the state and basically drop off the grid? I didn’t know why until very recently.
And now I no longer want to confess. I don’t know if I even want to remain friends, but I’m more afraid of running away from her without a word. And it’s hard to pretend I don’t still have feelings for her, regardless.
Even now, as Lila clings onto me for comfort, I can’t deny that I’m happy to be there for her.
“I want to be in love again.” Lila stares off into the distance with a wistful expression, tear tracks still smeared over her cheeks. “I want to feel that passion, that spark that turns into a fire…until it consumes us in flames.”
She looks to me, desperate for understanding that only I can give her. And I do, smiling sympathetically, squeezing her hands. No one can understand her like I do, even if we can’t be a couple. Even if I hold my breath every time I’m around her, afraid to so much as breathe wrong.
After a while, she calms down, gratefully accepting tissues to wipe away her tears. She sniffles a little, dabbing at bloodshot eyes, as I put on a movie for some background noise. I know her place like the back of my hand, so I know where everything is. Unfortunately that means I also know some things I really shouldn’t.
Settling back down on the couch, I pull her into my side, letting her snuggle up to me like always.
“I wish I could just date a girl like you,” Lila sighs. “Maybe I should just start dating you.”
I force myself to crack a smile. “Nah, you wouldn’t like dating me. Besides, I like having you as a friend and not a girlfriend.”
She giggles. “Me too, Dani, me too.”
I don’t tell her about how once I’d come over to her house randomly, just to surprise her, and didn’t realize she was out. I don’t say a word about how I found a photo album she’d never shown me before–odd, because doesn’t she show me everything?–and couldn’t resist opening it.
I don’t mention my stunned horror upon seeing picture after picture of past girlfriends, bodies broken and mangled beyond recognition, but always with their faces intact. One of them still had her hands, and another girl still had her collarbone. Those pictures were labeled “Saving the best for last <3” and that caption nearly made me drop the album. But I kept looking. So many pictures of the bodies littered with inhuman teeth marks next to handwritten declarations of love for each girl. All their lovely qualities accompanied by how wonderful their flesh tasted.
I don’t tell her about how I slammed the album shut and placed back where it was. I don’t tell her that when she got home that day and saw me chilling on her couch as usual, I was actually steeling my resolve to never confess my love to her. Ever.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m still very much in love with her. “But you saw all those pictures,” you might say…well, yes. But there’s something about that angelic face and perfect skin drenched with blood that just does it for me. And she’s still so beautiful, both inside and out. Can I help being drawn to her like a moth to a tantalizing flame? Looking at those pictures made me realize–there’s no way a normal human could have torn into flesh like that with their bare hands. I won’t bring that up, though.
What I will bring up is that there’s a girl at work that I think Lila would absolutely adore. She’s pretty but deep down, so ugly. Ugly enough to try and sabotage me at work, badmouthing me to other coworkers and even taking a promotion from me. Surely Lila would just love her, and love to love her, and love to have her.
But still…am I wrong for keeping my feelings to myself?

Okay so to sett the scene me and three other girls in the same class are friends, almost all of our classes are the same so we talk a lot. A few things happened and now friend A is not allowed to hang out with friends B and C.
I am the quiet friend in our friend group and i prefer to be on my own but i usually hang out around them. Now i have to be with friend A 100% of the time (apparently) ’cause she likes to be around people and talk and i’m the only one who she can be with since she’s not allowed to be with B and C. There’s nothing wrong with her but i’d rather be along tbh. But i can’t leave her alone.
I’d love some advice, though i hope she will be able to hang out with B and C.

https://www.reddit.com/TwoXIndia/s/liPwhI9XlA
After our fight, I made sure to ignore my husband and only reply when asked questions. He didn't apologize but kept his tone normal with me and after that incident, whenever he used to say anything that would hurt me, I would straight away go out of the room or put headphones or else I would reply back to him.
When I posted the above-mentioned post, I had already conceived, and I missed my periods, so I decided to take an at home pregnancy test. It came out positive.
I informed my husband about my pregnancy test, and he was shocked at first. Then, he kept on questioning if the child was his because this was something we weren't planning. I told him several times(mind you, I was practically shouting at a point), and I am not sure if he believes it or not, but he doesn't ask any more questions.
I am still looking for a job and gave some interviews, waiting to hear back from them. I have decided not to abort the child. I can not do that.
My parents are very happy and my mother strictly said to me to take care of myself even if no one does. She also told me not to tolerate any BS, and if things go rocky, then I should come to India.
My MIL is happy. This is what she told me, but now is concerned about her daughter as my SIL is also expecting a baby. She is like, "Who will help her. She will be all alone." My MIL wants to come here, i.e. in the country we are living right now, but her visa was rejected a few times before. She also told me to go find work at supermarkets. When I told her the news, she was more concerned about her daughter and me not earning rather than the happiness of having a baby.
My husband, on the other hand, told me to take care of myself and, surprisingly,listen to me. He will make sure I eat healthy and on time and not eat cold food. When we visited the doctor, he also asked questions regarding my health. Yes, he does tells me to do certain things like talk to people ( I am very reserved type), engage in conversations but now he is not shouting at me but talking with me in normal tone.
Also, my MIL once told me that we want a boy child only at first, and when I asked the same question to my husband, he said that it didn't matter to him whether it would be a girl or a boy. It would be our baby.
I am sure I am a bad person for saying this, but I don't want my MIL to be present here cause she has some weird notions about periods and pregnancy. When I was in India living with her, she would not let me come near when she was making pickles if I was menstruating. Now, she is telling me that if two pregnant women live together, then one would lose their milk and would not be able to breastfeed. This is the reason my SIL and her husband will be living separately. She also says that if a pregnant woman craves sweet, it would be a boy and many other things.
I have already heard these things and a guessing game of a boy child or a girl child at the time of my SIL, and now, I can not go through this again during my time. I am sure I will blast and say something to her.
For my sanity, I don't want her here. I am ready to face all challenges and do everything for my baby, but not this. This does make me a bad person, but I can't help it.
I am sure that having a child will not change the dynamics between my husband and I, and I can not process things right now. I really need a sisterly advice please.

Hi all. Just listening to this interview of two parents of gifted autistic sons who went on to transition. The parents and the therapist don’t think that AGP is the cause here but rather the sons were searching for answers as to why they don’t fit in.
Do you think there’s much mileage in that? Or do you think this will most likely be AGP (of course the sons wouldn’t be likely to tell their parents if it were)?
One answer could be that the Autistic mind is more prone to ETLE but then why the over representation of autism among trans adolescent girls (I don’t think you’d think they had AAP). Of course, the drivers in adolescent girls may be completely different to the drivers in adolescent boys.
Anyway, I thought I’d ask the experts what they thought:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bDqS_2HDbzw

First, feel free to share anything you want to and are comfortable with! This is intended to be a light-hearted, look back and think 'yep.. there it was' kind of post. I can look back and laugh now at a lot of things that really hurt me for a long time, but if you need to skip this one to avoid processing trauma or such, no hard feelings meant on my end! Love ya and see you on the next post.

1. When I was 2.5 (in the very late 80's, so times were a little different lol), my mother left me in the car to go from the driveway to the front door and hand my dad the mail. I quickly unbuckled and crawled to the front seat and somehow shifted my parents Cadillac (it was brand new and a HUGE deal as my parents were just middle class) and drove it. Into the front of our house.

It's a tax for my parents financially, for sure. My mother said I had never unbuckled, crawled to the front through the middle or sat in the drivers seat even pretending to drive before that incident. It was absolutely out of character and she swears it was only long enough to exchange mail and have a few words with my dad at the door, literally less than 2 minutes (I believe her). I watched her drive so closely and mesmerizingly that I just decided I was going to that day, Props to my parents as they never once made me feel bad about it and I even have fond memories of us laughing when someone would make a joke about me driving for a long time afterwards lol.

1. Went to the pop-up Titanic museum back in the late 90's, got a piece of coal supposedly from the Titanic in a pyramid shaped glass (resin? Can't remember honestly) from there. It was, as you can imagine in a tourist museum, very expensive, but my parents got it for me anyway. I cherished it and kept it in a "treasure box" with a lock for years... until I disobeyed my mother and took it for show & tell at school.. and who the hell knows what happened to it that day. I haven't had it since.
   
2. I was gifted $500 for gas money as a teenager, intended to last me through college practically. I accidentally threw it away later that night.
   
3. My stepfathers boss let me ride his golf cart thing one day while I was visiting. I got in, quickly and took the fuck off before the boss could get in with me. It knocked him down. I panicked and completely went deaf/disassociated/OOHFUCK'ed and didn't listen to everyone screaming at me to "just stop gassing it". I did no such thing and drove myself right into a semi trailer. My parents opened their own business after that and while I don't think it was the only factor, my heart tells me this incident played a role in it but my mom would *never* admit that, even now, I don't think. I should ask her.
   
4. I totalled my car on my 18th birthday, I say it was a tax because I wasn't paying close enough attention to the road and going a little too fast around a curve. Rolled and slid on the hood about 100 yards into the edge of the woods. I am literally lucky to be alive after this, a tree took out my headrest from the side, it literally barely missed my head. We were both unscathed.. somehow. All because I was too busy talking and flirting with my boyfriend, trying to be cool driving to the lake on my birthday with the music blasting and windows down. Now I am an incredibly aware drive and I try to be extremely cautious these days. because of these events. I don't drive any more than I have to, either.
   
5. Lost my passport. It could be in the Bahamas, it could be in my bedroom, it could be in a landfill, it could be in someone's wallet who's impersonating me... fuck if I know.
   

There's tons more but those were the incidents that bothered me a lot as a child/teen/early adult. I carried a lot of shame because of those things. I was a very, very "no way she has adhd, it's the 90's" kind of girl, it never crossed anyones mind. Only bc I was compensating excessively, which led to burnout. I was always super, chronically early, overly cautious, great grades, no late assignments EVER, etc. but I was slowly deteriorating inside at the tender of 9. I wasn't properly dx until 31-32, after running through the laundry list of wrong dx. If we had today's knowledge 30 years ago, it would have definitely been caught. I'm glad girls have more opportunities to address it earlier in life, rather than later now. Much love <3

We hired a nanny about a year ago for our baby, who is now about 18 months old. While we found her on care.com, we didn’t actually “hire” her through there (just moved straight to contract over email). She was the second person (of 2) we talked to on the phone for screenings and we immediately loved her. She did a home test for a week and aced it, and we hired her. I called her two most recent references and they both gave glowing reviews (one continues to hire her on weekends; the other highlighted some issues they’d had but were able to correct and had actually tried to rehire her but our nanny didn’t want to continue working for them). We thought all was great.
Over the course of the year, she has been generally wonderful. She does put her foot in her mouth/make odd comments from time to time, and can get a bit too personal, but those have generally been our only complaints. We’ve spoken to her about this and she has gotten better, but still does slip up from time to time.
A few months ago, I happened to look up her profile on care.com out of curiosity, because she mentioned she still does odd jobs on weekends through there. I noticed she had a bad review (posted a month prior), where the person claimed my nanny ignored all special requests, watched tv too much and didn’t interact with the baby, and made inappropriate comments about the husband to the wife directly. When I saw this, I freaked out, but ultimately the only part that sounded true based on our experience with her was making inappropriate comments. I ended up asking her about it, and she said this review was from 8 months prior, she was never told about the special requests, but she did make a comment that the husband looked attractive in his wedding suit when looking at their wedding photos with the wife. I believed her (again based on my own experience) and confirmed she probably shouldn’t have said that and to take it as a learning opportunity to be more mindful of not putting her foot in her mouth.
The next day, she was suspended from care.com. My nanny told me this, I wasn’t aware myself because I hadn’t hired her directly through care.com. The timing was wild, I asked if she did anything (try to reach out to the wife, etc) but she says she didn’t. I’m not sure what to believe here.
We decided, based on how great she’s generally been, to move past it. However, a few days ago one of her references (who didn’t raise any negatives working with her and told me she still hires her on weekends) texted me and asked if I knew why she was suspended from care.com. I explained the above and that my best guess was this negative review somehow triggered a suspension, and asked her if she ever had negative experiences with our nanny. She mentioned that they actually were ghosting her because the last time my nanny went to help them out, she made inappropriate comments about the reference’s friends and called her son “slow” (as in has developmental issues, which he doesn’t), and as a result they don’t want to work with her again.
So now I’m not sure what to do. Again she seems so great with my baby, we’re pretty chill so the foot in mouth comments don’t bother us too much, but it seems like several other families have had bad experiences with her and it’s making me second guess everything. For example, she did once call my baby slow too, but I immediately corrected it and she hasn’t said it since. I hate that she did it, but I’m also prone to saying the wrong thing sometimes, so I’m trying to be understanding. But it’s making me so anxious that I’m ignoring red flags, and I can’t help but wonder if she was suspended for something else. We never ran an additional background check, so I’m thinking that’s the next step.
Appreciate any advice, thank you!
EDIT: I forgot to mention, about 6 months ago our nanny was so upset because she was kicked out of her friend group, allegedly because of something she was saying to her ex boyfriend via text that one of her friends saw and got upset about, which ultimately ended up with everyone in the group ghosting her. We thought nothing of it at the time (she’s in her 20s and mean girl behavior can happen anywhere) but in light of everything else it makes us question it all

This was on the weekend, I realise I need to either forget about it or have a talk with her and that ranting on Reddit isn’t doing anyone any favours. I know.
I was at my mother’s house this weekend with my daughter, who’s 8. My mother was very excitedly talking about how she’s invited all my cousin’s daughters round for a sleepover that night for a ‘girls night’, and how nice it would be for them to all be together. My cousins’s daughters all range from 4 to about 9.
I knew my daughter wasn’t invited, first I’d heard of it, but kept my mouth shut initially. My daughter has a chromosomal disorder, she’s completely non verbal, and has a long list of health conditions. Would a sleepover be easy for anyone involved? Absolutely not, not pretending this is the case.
I asked my mum her plans for the evening, she said they were going to do some baking, at this point I asked if my daughter could join in that part because A.) She likes baking and B.) I want her to have a relationship with my cousins’s kids too. My mum then said it would be unfair on the others and started talking about how they needed ‘respite.’ Yeah, great, I’m sorry my daughter having fun is such a burden.
My mum has only had my daughter round to sleep a few times, she’s capable of looking after her needs but I appreciate with other kids to look after too - it would be a challenge. The only times my daughter has slept there were times my wife was in hospital, and the night of my wife’s funeral. That’s it. She talks often to me about how much she loves having the rest of my family’s kids over, she doesn’t ever say that about my daughter.
My daughter’s great, I don’t care about the sleepover itself. She’s my best friend, the one thing that keeps me going. I tried to have our own fun night at home but in all honesty, I was having a real rough time of it. I’m just fed up of people acting like it’s easier to not include her.

Hey everyone,I’m in my 40s and come from the raw, uncommercialized rave scene of the early 90s. I’m gearing up to dive back into the festival scene after a long break(maybe the last time, you know,: wife, kids, job...) and I’ve picked the Sonus Festival in Croatia for my return! However, as someone who isn’t in their twenties anymore, I want to make sure I can connect with the younger crowd without feeling out of place, while still keeping things cool and dignified. The rave scene back in my day was all about inclusivity and spontaneous fun, quite different from the more polished and commercial vibe of today’s festivals like Sonus. Any advice on how to navigate this new landscape, enjoy the vibes, and come away saying, "Hey, that was hell of fun?"
Context: German, flying to there and rented an Airbnb apartment for 4, with an outside pool. Based on the reports here the VIP ticket was a waste of money already..
Thanks a lot for your input!

I was watching MTV classic “I want my 80s” this morning and saw this video that I have no idea what the song was about or who sang it by the music video had the following…

1. A couple where the man kind of looked like a mid 20-30 year old Clint Eastwood (blond haired blonde bear etc.) and the girl had short brunette hair.
   
2. The couple was kissing and showing lots of intimacy towards each other.
   
3. A short clip of football players (which seems to be real footage of a high school team) where the player catches a pass over his shoulder while falling. I believe the uniforms were blue.
   
4. POSSIBLY could have been from a movie.
   

This is about all I really remember. Wanted to show it to my dad to see if he remembers it from when he was young but I could find it. It’s obviously a popular song from the period as it was on MTV classic.
Any help would be awesome, thanks!

Disclaimer: This is another one of my epic novels. Consider yourself warned.
Rule #1: Don't tell anyone at work. Rule #2: Don't write about work.
Somehow the boss and I got onto the topic of protein the other day... one thing lead to another... and before I could stop my lips, they spilled the tea. I at least managed to leave the MJ part out. Admittedly, it felt a bit like lying to the priest in the confessional (wouldn't be the first time that's happened)... except, this was on Zoom and we could see each other's faces.
Fortunately, I've lost enough weight now that the revelation was met with a raised eyebrow and a "WOW!" rather than the more typical.. "Really? Again? Until when? Lunchtime?". He's seen this rodeo before - more than a few times - so I really couldn't have blamed him if that would've been his response.
So far, he's been right EVERY. TIME.
And then he asked what my goal weight was. I should've known better.
"What? No! That's too much. You're such a big girl!"
Yes... Yes I am... but recent discoveries would indicate otherwise. (see my post EVERYDAY IS AN ADVENTURE for more information)
My goal weight is... ambitious.
While I would be the first to admit that my goal weight seems rather far fetched, based on my current weight. I didn't just pull it out of thin air. It was important to me that I set a goal that was anchored to something tangible - even if it seemed ambitious.
So, just before I started MJ in January 2024, I had a DEXA scan done. If you're not familiar with what a DEXA scan is, in the most simplest of terms, it's essentially a low radiation x-ray that scans your entire body and will calculate your body composition. You're provided with a report that will outline for you how much bone you have, how much lean mass you have (meaning muscle, connective tissue, organs, etc.), and how much fat you have. It takes it even one step further and provide a reasonable estimate of how much subaqueous fat you have (the annoying but tolerable fat) versus the amount of visceral fat you have (the evil fat twin you'd gladly give up for adoption).
So, knowing what my CURRENT lean body mass is under this fluffy quilt I walk around in, I could use that information to figure out what my "ideal" weight should be. How did I do that? Well, LEAN BODY MASS + 24% BODY FAT. Why 24%? Well, based on what I could estimate from guidelines online, 24% seemed to fit the mid-range of what would be considered 'healthy' for a woman of my age and height. So with a little basic math, I came to a number that is now my goal weight.
And yes, I'm perfectly prepared to settle on a much higher weight if, somewhere along this journey I discover a point where I'm actually comfortable in my own skin <-- Ha! Ha! That would be a first!
Plus, thanks to this subreddit, there is at least one person out there that started at a similar weight to me, same height as me, and is maintaining her weight within a range I had calculate. And she has the pictures to prove it! So, there is evidence that my end game is not entirely a made up fantasy. Thankfully, Cautious-Freedom-199 has been very open in sharing her personal journey, and it is her willingness and courage to share this part of herself that has made it possible for me to even imagine the possibilities.
So why am I having to defend myself?
Well, it's human nature.... and I have to keep reminding myself of that. Everyone will always have an opinion about something. We all do it. But what is important, is to recognize the intent. The intention, in this case, was not to harm me or ill will. Clearly, he has a point of reference, that he can relate to. And the number I stated, didn't align with his point of reference. And that's okay.
But still... suddenly I found myself having to justify my goal weight to him. A number, I'm not even convinced myself is based in reality. While I'm cautiously optimistic about the future, there's still a big part of me that has seated herself on the sidelines with her giant bowl of popcorn and strawberry twizzlers, keeping herself entertained with all of the replays of past colossal failures, while she waits, with eager anticipation, for the latest feature failure to premier.
My saving grace is that I'm a little bit of a nerd. I research the most mundane random curiosities, just for entertainment purposes - and also to help inform myself. Health, nutrition, weight loss all happen to be some of the mundane random curiosities I've obsessed over - for MANY YEARS. All in an effort to try and understand where all these little f*** fat cells came from, why they picked MY BODY of all places, and why every other cell in my body knows to DIE - skin cells die... brain cells die... muscle cells die... but for some reason, these fat little f*** fat cells convinced God to grant them eternal life. And with my luck, these little f*** will end up following me into the afterlife and I'll be fat there too - for eternity. My point is, when I find myself in situations like this, talking to someone who knows less about the topic at hand than I do... my super power is to literally bury them with information. More than they ever would want to know. And I don't stop, until they BEG me to.
Credibility is King!
If you're going to put any part of yourself out there, it pays to arm yourself with a few fun facts and have some tangible evidence to back up your rationalization, AND present in a way that is relatable to the personal your talking to. Nothing lends more credibility to what you're saying than sounding like the leading authority. In other words, it's hard to argue with someone who knows their shit. So when I explained how I came up with my goal weight, whether he agreed with it or not, it didn't matter. He could see that there was a methodology behind it, it was based on facts, and presented in a way that allowed him to understand there was strong logical evidence to support that number.
While this won't work in every situation - some people are just an ignorant stick in the mud - and you can't fix stupid, so don't waste your time even trying. Usually, if your audience is of reasonable intelligence and reasonably open-minded, and capable of having a respectful and rational discussion, then you at least have a fighting chance that they'll recognize that whatever your perspective is, has merit and isn't just complete bullshit. They may still chose to disagree - and that's okay. It's not your job to convince anyone that you're right and they're wrong. And so long as everyone agrees to respectfully disagree and leave it at that - there's nothing wrong with it.
Only time will tell....
He could actually be right.
I certainly don't know if I'm right.
And it doesn't matter.
But there are boundaries.
I did leave a key detail out of my discussion with him. Mounjaro. That was not by accident. And that's because I know there is a public perception of GLP-1 medications that is very misguided and misinformed and it is not a mountain I'm prepared to die on anytime soon. I don't know if he's even heard of these medications. It's quite possible he knows nothing about them. But it doesn't matter. This is a small detail I choose to keep close to my chest. Maybe, once I've reached my goal weight, I'll be more open about it. But no sooner than that, and it may well remain something that is on a 'need to know basis only' and most people won't ever need to know.
One thing I know for sure, and has proven itself time and time again, is that someone who has never had a significant weight problem their entire life CANNOT possibly relate to someone who has. They cannot process the distinction. They equate their struggles to lose 10-20-30 lbs to be the same as someone trying to lose 100-200-300 lbs. It's NOT the same. It's a different war on a different battle field with different rules. And I've learned that it's a losing battle to try and convince anyone just how different it is.
There was a podcast I recently watched on YouTube on PeterAttiaMD 's channel talking with Layne Norton. Layne explains why two people - one who has been lean their whole life - the other, fat their whole life - can both try to lose 20lbs and how the deck is stacked against the fat person vs. the lean person. I don't recall the specifics off hand and don't want misquote - but if this is of interest then maybe hunt through those interviews. If I can find it - I'll post it in the comments. But it was definitely an Aha! moment for me when he explained it. Sometimes, you hear someone explain the science and you suddenly feel vindicated.
So how did my conversation end with the boss?
Well, it ended with him asking me how many calories he should be eating per day, how much protein he should have, and then me calculating out his TDEE, caloric target, and macro ratios so that he can start on his own weight loss journey tomorrow. 😉
THE END.
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Fell In love with a girl . Ldr . I’m 22 m . She is 26 . She has 2 kids . I only talk about her to my mom sometimes. I haven’t told my brothers about her . It has been almost 9 months . She says she is done with me and she will block me if I don’t tell my brothers . And I understand. Tbh I’m a sociopath and it’s hard to talk about my relationship with my brothers because I feel like they are just gonna judge me for falling in love with a woman with 2 kids . I know . I’m the fucked up piece of shit. I have problems . I never meant for this to happen . It just happened . Us just happened. No other girl has made me feel this way . I wanna talk about her but I’m being forced into it . You guys can talk shit. That’s why i posted this . Or any advice would help. I love this woman. I guess I don’t love Myself and that’s a contributing factor . I don’t wanna be judged for who I love . I’m just the asshole . That’s just the truth. Thanks . Have a good day .

Posting as anonymous account for obvious reasons. Im in the UK. Basically very long story short, my friends sister has been getting awful threats from her ex partner (baby daddy) that he’s going to ruin her life etc (very specific threats how he’s going to hurt her, her friends and family), he’s got a violent past, and has hurt her before. Her child is scared to go to her dads, and it’s a very awkward situation, serious safeguard concerns.
I’m a professional and I t didn’t sit right with me, I made a report with the police, who advised that I should put a safeguarding in with the council as the child is at risk of harm. Yesterday, I received a phone call from an unknown number (police) saying he’s knocked on my door, do I live at number 17.. and asked for my address. It didn’t feel right so to confirm his identity I rang 101, who said they’ll get him to ring me back and confirm incident number, his ID etc. he rang back and confirmed all, he was legit, but he said he’d gone to the address of the girl id reported because he had it down as my address???
To cut a very long story short, my friend has contacted me today and said the police have told her sister it was me who has reported her and she’s going mad (there was no way she could’ve known as many people knew about this situation, plus her ex partner doesn’t even know me) (so the police have either told her, or fucked up and gone and asked for me yesterday when they went to her address).
I’ve spoken to 101 and updated and an officer assigned to that case will be in touch when they are next in duty, as my right to anonymity has been broken. I asked several time when I was reporting it, that I be kept anonymous as it puts me in a very vulnerable situation I feel scared and vulnerable, upset and angry. I’ve now been put in a very vulnerable situation because of this. And she will obviously quickly be able to work out I’ve reported her to social services also.

I (13F) have a classmate, Brady (13M). I don’t like Brady at all, he’s one of those boys who acts as a gym teacher’s pet, always telling the teacher if a kid isn’t “trying”, and I’ll admit that a lot of kids don’t try in gym and Brady and his friends will take any opportunity to get you in trouble if you’re not participating. I know it’s technically against the rules but I do t care, I’ve seen Brady and his friends gist pump after getting kids in detention, and personally, I got a detention after not wanting to participate in basketball after getting my nails done.
Brady is a popular kid and he plays baseball, I also have a lot of friends who don’t like him. He’s the type of boy who cries if his team loses in gym class, I’ll admit I’ve made a comment on it, and he said he doesn’t care if people judge him for crying and that other people are the problem if they can’t handle boys crying.
In my English class, yesterday, we were assigned groups for a project we are doing for a book we read. Our teacher uses a randomizer and I was put in a group with Brady. We then sat in our groups and started working together. Some small talk had started as we were going to figure out what to do. One of the girls in my group brought up the upcoming dance and it’s a sports theme, Brady was talking about how his friends came up with the theme, and when I complained about it, he said I should get my friends elected as school president and on the school council, as they get to decide the dance and event themes. Brady was talking about how hard his friends worked to win those elections. We began to argue and I mentioned how he acted in gym class, I told him he was unfairly hard on me as I’m a girl. He said my excuse was “bullshit” and mentioned some woman in college basketball and said “she’s better than men at basketball looking at the stats” and said she shows it’s no excuse for me to not try as hard at gym as he does. He accused me of being sexist against women as a girl for not recognizing how many women could beat men at sports and that I was just using this as an excuse to be lazy in gym class. We argued some more before our teacher came over to see the problem.
I told my teacher I wouldn’t work with Brady as he was being condescending and not listening to me. He accused me of being sexist for saying women are weaker at sports. She said she was keeping us in the groups as we need to learn to work with people who we don’t like. I told her I wouldn’t do that, and she said that we were graded as a group, so I better hope my classmates do my work. They’re refusing to work on the project if I don’t work on it.
I told my parents about what happened when I got home and they contacted the administration at my school, but the administration refused to punish Brady and said our teacher has the right to do what she wants in this scenario. My parents told me I just have to deal with Brady. Brady has been going around telling everyone what happened and now some of my friends are accusing me of being an internalized misogynist. I doubt they even know what those words mean, and Brady never used those words either. Today in English class we were in our seats, but I could see other people in our group give me dirty looks. AITA?