His balls chopped off

An even GREATER Awakening

2018.05.23 06:35 kungfoojesus An even GREATER Awakening

Illuminatti. Avenatti. Bugatti. Pavorati. Tenor. Bass. Slash. GNR. DNR. Be woke. It comes. It follows. Follow my lead. Bury the lede. Buried alive. Digital Underground. Your Body is a Wonderland. Alice Cooper. DB Cooper. No parachute.
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2010.02.27 05:23 Meades_Loves_Memes r/teenagers

teenagers is the biggest community forum run by teenagers for teenagers. Our subreddit is primarily for discussions and memes that an average teenager would enjoy to discuss about. We do not have any age-restriction in place but do keep in mind this is targeted for users between the ages of 13 to 19. Parents, teachers, and the like are welcomed to participate and ask any questions!
[link]


2017.11.24 12:04 StasConstantine Eiriel, the home of the 700 Club

The 700 Club is a local establishment in the downtown of Eiriel. It's patronage is made up of colorful characters, most of whom can be described as "Good Dudes." It's the Hatman's favorite spot to pick up chicks and his fellow shadow people love to have a relaxing drink there too after a long day of performance arts.
[link]


2024.05.14 05:07 EJC28 Panthers 2024 Draft Analysis Compilation

Round 1, Pick 32 - Xavier Legette, WR, South Carolina:
NFL: Legette, who had a terrific final season at South Carolina, is physical and a big-time vertical threat. This addition should be a big part of Bryce Young’s development in Year 2.
CBS Sports: B+. They have to get weapons for Bryce Young, so landing him makes sense. He is a player who plays physical and runs better than you think. He’s only done it for one year.
ESPN: Coach Dave Canales said it best: Legette brings versatility. The Panthers absolutely fell in love with Legette's ability to make plays all over the field, from catching passes to jet sweeps to kick returns. That versatility at a skill position is something Bryce Young didn't have last season, so this adds a unique weapon to take pressure off the second-year quarterback. He is also big (6-foot-1, 221 pounds) and fast (4.39 40), unlike any other Carolina receiver. He's a perfect fit for what Canales wants to create with the pass and run games.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Can’t believe he is about to fulfill his dream of being picked in the 2nd round.
Round 2, Pick 46 - Jonathon Brooks, RB, Texas:
NFL: Had Brooks not suffered a torn ACL in November, he might have been a first-round pick. He's a shifty, speedy back who can hit the hole and go, and he should be Carolina's starter before long. I thought they might go center here, but Brooks makes sense for a team that lacked offensive juice.
CBS Sports: B-. Fun, three-down RB without much mileage on his legs. Can win between the tackle or on the perimeter and has feature back size. Elusive but not ridiculously in that regard. Fills a need but maybe a touch early. May not be 100% by September.
ESPN: As much as Canales has said he's excited about backs Chuba Hubbard and Miles Sanders, he obviously believed the running game needed an upgrade. You don't take a back in the second round unless you plan to use him, although Brooks may need time to fully recover from ACL surgery that caused him to miss the final three games last season. He's a playmaker who has a nose for the end zone (10 touchdowns on 187 carries last season), and general manager Dan Morgan said he was looking for guys who can score.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Mixes the milk and cereal in his mouth, one bite and drink at a time.
Round 3, Pick 72 - Trevin Wallace, LB, Kentucky:
NFL: A late addition to my top 100 prospects list, Wallace is a top-tier athlete who finally seemed to find his groove last season -- on special teams but especially on defense. He's capable of covering tight ends and running backs and should impact all four downs, but Wallace is young and could use a redshirt year before he's ready to be featured on defense.
CBS Sports: C. Stocky, springy off-ball LB with speed to the football but one of the least-effective block-defeaters/avoiders I’ve scouted at the position. Not around the football much in coverage but fluid zone drops and has the athleticism to run with TEs. Very good tackler. Just unique strengths/weaknesses.
ESPN: Morgan entered the draft looking for "dawg mentality'' and he got that in Wallace. "Dawg mentality means you don't care if you go hurt somebody,'' Wallace said. "You don't go in there soft. I want you to be scared of me.'' Wallace isn't necessarily a long-term replacement for 30-year-old Shaq Thompson, but his ability to cover the field side-to-side and with speed gives him the potential to do that. Give him a year or so behind Thompson and Josey Jewell and he could prove to be a Day 2 steal.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Enjoys going to the park to make faces at little kids, making them cry.
Round 4, Pick 101 - Ja’Tavion Sanders, TE, Texas:
NFL: Sanders is a fascinating athlete who remains in the developmental stage. He's not a quality blocker yet but has some untapped receiving skill. This is a worthy risk by general manager Dan Morgan and Co. as their hunt for playmakers continues.
CBS Sports: B. Big recruit who produced at Texas and is a smooth mover. Good, not amazing YAC and not a pure speed type. Minimal blocking chops. Reasonable weapon for Bryce Young but lacks burst so will have to get schemed up to get most of his catches in the NFL.
ESPN: Definitely an upgrade at a position that quarterback Young could have used some help from during his rookie season. Canales has spoken highly of Tommy Tremble, but he's not the dynamic pass-catching tight end that Sanders can become. Sanders had 99 receptions in three seasons, tops for a tight end in Texas history. He could pose problems for defenses, like Greg Olsen did during the development of quarterback Cam Newton. This was a no-brainer at this point.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Insists he can distinguish between 50 shades of beige.
Round 5, Pick 157 - Chau Smith-Wade, CB, Washington State:
NFL: Smith-Wade opened eyes with a solid week at the Senior Bowl, consistently showing up around the ball and disrupting passes. His length almost certainly makes him a nickel only on defense, but there's some potential here if CSW develops.
CBS Sports: B+. Agitating CB who played outside but will have a home in the slot in the NFL. Plays more athletically than his testing. Lightning quick feet. Because of his smaller size, he tends to opt for diving tackle attempts more than wrapping up. Speed is a concern but could be masked inside. Up for any challenge.
ESPN: A definite need for depth at a position where injuries have hurt the past few years. Smith-Wade will be a backup and special teamer at best this season. He offers speed (4.54 40) and nose for the football that GM Dan Morgan wants. He's coming off a soft-tissue injury that forced him to miss the final five games and is more of a project at this point. Nickel, where he had two interceptions in the Senior Bowl, may be his future in the NFL.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Thinks being a scrum master sounds kinda cool.
Round 6, Pick 200 - Jaden Crumedy, DT, Mississippi State:
NFL: Being 300-plus pounds and running a sub-5.0 40-yard dash gets you drafted. Crumedy doesn't have sterling production, but his maturity and experience should give him an edge in a fight for a roster spot in Carolina.
CBS Sports: C+. Older, very experienced interior rusher who won from multiple alignments in the SEC and has smooth athletic traits. Production never matched how fluid he is as an athlete and his hands. Needs to have a pass-rush plan more often. Has long stretches of invisibility. Plays hard every snap.
ESPN: This is totally a depth move. His ability to push the pocket is what Carolina will look for out of him in its 3-4 scheme. He likely won't be a threat to start, but he has the flexibility and size (6-4, 301) to play inside or out. Depth behind a solid starting three is key here.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Once put together a 50,000 piece puzzle. It was a picture of a cloud.
Round 7, Pick 240 - Michael Barrett, LB, Michigan:
NFL: Punishing hitter in a sawed-off frame. Barrett's poor length will be tough to overcome, but his forceful play style is inspiring.
CBS Sports: C+. Has a nice blend of traits - - power, burst, coverage skill - - but not always the quickest to read where the ball is going. Quicker than fast and needs to get better beating or avoiding blockers on the way to the football.
ESPN: Barrett is undersized at 5-11, 233 pounds, but he has a nose for the football and brings a physicality to the game that makes up for his lack of size. Barrett should get a chance to contribute immediately, at least on special teams.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Nursed a baby goat back to health after he hit it with a car.
submitted by EJC28 to panthers [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 00:02 EJC28 Falcons 2024 Draft Analysis Compilation

Round 1, Pick 8 - Michael Penix Jr., QB, Washington:
NFL: I’m not sure anyone expected Atlanta, which signed Kirk Cousins to a four-year, $180 million deal in March, to take a quarterback in the top 10, but here we are. Penix is a big-time playmaker who is the top deep-ball passer in this class. He has surgical precision and throws with good anticipation from the pocket.
CBS Sports: B-. They opted to take their quarterback of the future by taking Penix. He has all the tools, but will learn and wait behind Kirk Cousins. I wonder if he can rush the passer. Like the player, but don’t like the pick.
ESPN: Stunner. The Falcons pulled off the shocker of the first round, taking Penix earlier than just about every expert predicted. He was the fourth quarterback taken in the top 10. There's no doubt Atlanta saw something in Penix when watching him on tape and visiting him. The team sent a ton of staff to see him in recent weeks. Obviously, they felt comfortable with his durability, despite four season-ending injuries in college. Penix, a lefty, has an incredible arm, and from a skill standpoint, he's certainly right up there among the best signal callers on the board. And now he's the successor to Kirk Cousins.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Has devoted his life to the church of the flying spaghetti monster.
Round 2, Pick 35 - Ruke Orhorhoro, DT, Clemson:
NFL: Another trade, with the Falcons swooping up. And this is their second curious pick of this draft. Nothing against Orhorhoro, who has some intriguing skills and might be a better stat stuffer in the NFL than he was at Clemson. But with Johnny Newton on the board, this pick felt like a reach when you consider Atlanta's biggest need -- pass rush.
CBS Sports: B. Big, long, powerful interior rusher without many pass-rush moves. But his traits shine against the run and has enough explosion to win between gaps or with bull rushes. Expensive trade up though hurts his grade despite Falcons filling a need with quality prospect.
ESPN: The Falcons needed a pass-rusher, particularly an EDGE. Most of the impact players at that position went in the first round. Atlanta attempted to trade back into the late first, but weren't able to do so. Instead, the Falcons took Orhorhoro, a defensive tackle who has pass-rushing chops from the inside. Since 2021, Orhorhoro had 9.5 sacks lined up as a DT, which were tied for third in the ACC. The Nigeria-born Orhorhoro didn't start playing football until he was a junior in high school, so the Falcons probably like his upside.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: His bright green fanny pack when traveling is a must.
Round 3, Pick 74 - Bralen Trice, LB, Washington:
NFL: Trice was a consistent pressure source the past two years for the Huskies but had a rough pre-draft process when he shed a bunch of weight for the NFL Scouting Combine but failed to display better speed because of it. Trice was smart to bulk back up for his pro day because I think his game is predicated on winning with a combination of effort and surprising pop in his hands.
CBS Sports: A-. Bad testing hurt his stock but this is as productive of an EDGE as there is in this class. Slippery with pass-rush plans galore. Smaller than his listed weight and doesn’t have serious burst. Flashes of bend though.
ESPN: The Falcons got their pure pass-rusher and, boy, did they need it. This is a team that has had 18 fewer sacks than any other franchise in the NFL over the past three seasons. Atlanta's pass rush win rate was dead last in the league in 2023. Trice had 16 sacks over the past two seasons, which was tied for the fourth most among Power 5 players during that stretch. He's had 12 games with five or more pressures since the start of the 2022 season, which leads all FBS players. Trice played mostly outside linebacker at Washington and he had a reputation for being able to get to the quarterback.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Smells like Celestial Seasonings sleepy-time tea.
Round 4, Pick 109 - Brandon Dorlus, DT, Oregon:
NFL: Round 4 is for the Ducks. I haven't followed the Falcons' logic on every one of their selections this year, but I like Dorlus here. He can play multiple spots along the D-line and be a movable piece for Raheem Morris' unit.
CBS Sports: A-. Fun, twitchy and thick “tweener” who can literally win at any alignment along the defensive line. Isn’t the most sudden, nor the best with his hands but is so slippery between blockers. Overall athletic profile is impressive. Rushes can get too high, doesn’t play with much power. Can get washed out vs. the run. Has frame to add more weight.
ESPN: It was somewhat surprising the Falcons didn't take a cornerback here or even a safety. But the team is clearly and rapidly reshaping its defensive line, which already had quality veteran players in Grady Jarrett and David Onyemata. Dorlus is Atlanta's second straight defensive line selection. And Dorlus, who led Oregon with five sacks, is extremely versatile. He can play inside, as a defensive end or even outside linebacker. Pass-rushers were the Falcons' biggest needs and now they have three rookies who fit the bill after not taking a defender with the No. 8 overall pick as many expected.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Wants you to call your family and tell them you love and cherish them.
Round 5, Pick 143 - JD Bertrand, LB, Notre Dame:
NFL: An Atlanta native, Bertrand is a coach's dream in spite of his subpar length and injury history. He's instinctive and tough and carries a hard-hat mentality to work every day.
CBS Sports: C. So active, so smart. Always around the ball. Reads his keys in a flash. Block-avoider. Ascending coverage skill just minimal ball production at Notre Dame. High tackling numbers but also misses many.
ESPN: The Falcons are completely reshaping their front seven in this draft. In Bertrand, they not only get their second collegiate defensive team captain (Bralen Trice was captain at Washington), but also someone with significant physical tools. Bertrand was a three-year starter at Notre Dame, led the team with 76 tackles in 2023 and had 16 tackles behind the line of scrimmage this past season. He's also a former Eagle Scout and was a finalist for the Wuerffel Trophy for community service.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Prefers to code in Notepad with the wingding font.
Round 6, Pick 186 - Jase McClellan, RB, Alabama:
NFL: McClellan is a power back who runs with great toughness and exercises great ball security, fumbling only once in college on nearly 400 touches. But he's a one-dimensional runner on a team pretty loaded at running back.
CBS Sports: C+. Jack of all trades, master of none with minimal mileage on his legs. Will run away from some slower defenders but not a true burner. Receiving ability is there. Vision is a strength between the tackles. Elusive but not special in that regard. Classic scatback.
ESPN: The team needed a third running back behind Bijan Robinson and Tyler Allgeier, and that's presumably where McClellan will fit. McClellan was Alabama's primary starter for one year after returning in 2022 from a torn ACL. He ran for 890 yards on 180 carries with eight touchdowns this past season. McClellan, who's only 21, isn't flashy, but Atlanta has been taking upside and translatable physical attributes over flash this entire draft.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Kept calling the NFL at 800-635-5300 to complain about the refs.
Round 6, Pick 187 - Casey Washington, WR, Illinois:
NFL: A strong pro day helped solidify Washington as a draft pick. He looks like a solid, reliable possession receiver with natural route-running skills, but he's not special at any one thing.
CBS Sports: C. Good sized outside WR who plays with a throwback style. Jump balls, back-shoulders, etc. are his speciality. Good speed for his size too. Just doesn’t have the bend or suddenness to separate consistently.
ESPN: Depth at wide receiver was absolutely a need going into the draft, though it's still surprising the Falcons won't pick a cornerback until their final pick, if at all. Washington was sixth in the Big Ten in receiving yards during conference games (589) and finished his career with Illinois very strong -- 218 yards on nine receptions and three touchdowns against Northwestern back in November. Washington is 6-foot-2 and 200 pounds, and Atlanta did need size at the position. He'll be tied for the second tallest wide receiver on the roster after top wideout Drake London (6-4).
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Taught his goldfish to play fetch. Not the most exciting game but they’re happy.
Round 6, Pick 197 - Zion Logue, DT, Georgia:
NFL: Logue was a flash player for the two-time champion Bulldogs, often stuck behind a ton of talent in Athens. His length is outstanding, even if his production (1.5 sacks in 50-plus college games) isn't.
CBS Sports: C+. Big, long, thick SEC-tested DL with some above-average burst for his size and a pass-rush move every so often. Production never matched his size or athleticism.
ESPN: This draft, after all the controversy in the first round, was all about front-seven versatility and depth for the Falcons. Logue is a big body at 6-foot-6 and 314 pounds. And the team's fifth front-seven selection of the week. Atlanta has put a premium on length with its defenders so far and Logue has that to go along with his massive frame. The Tennessee native only started one year at Georgia, so he's relatively inexperienced with potential upside the Falcons are once again banking on.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Can eat twenty scones in a single sitting.
submitted by EJC28 to falcons [link] [comments]


2024.05.13 12:34 Kind_Stranger_weeb If you are finding Redacted too hard, consider using god mode.

Im seeing a lot of people posting that Chronos is too op. People suggesting methods of nerfing him or adjusting. But as someone who is beating him over and over fairly easily on high fear i have this to say, learn his moves in god mode. His moves are punishing, dealing large amounts of damage in a single hit as a titan should. To really master him you need to learn him enough to do large sections hitless, learning where his blind spots are and the tells for his moves. If you keep failing at that he doesn't need to be weaker, you just need to learn.
Its situations like this that god mode was made for. A flat damage reduction is not cheating. The mode is there for a reason. It will give you the leeway to lean his moves to the point you don't need it and can then beat him without it. Mel and Zag after all are gods, there is no reason they cant use that birth right.
https://preview.redd.it/7wdldbu9s50d1.png?width=1014&format=png&auto=webp&s=b405015546991404f661961d828eafe12ccbc8f8
For my first few runs of underworld and Olympus i used god mode. Turning it off when i stopped loosing or struggling. It's a great tool for learning movesets and mechanics and if you are ignoring it out of pride i implore you to give it a try. The point of games after all is to have fun and if you are having such a bad time you are begging the devs to make the game easier in reddit, make it easier yourself first with the tools they already gave you.
That to the side, strategies i use to get easy wins. These fall under two categories, add management and burst damage.
Add Management
You need a quick mana efficient way to kill the satyrs, hourglasses and other adds he brings to the fight. This is also the reason i always choose the hades boon that kills half of them for you. (though the darkness boon he offers is also amazing, 10 seconds of invulnerability after hitting one of Chronos's orbs is really OP)
The only henchman you need to divert your attention to are the banners, use your main attack to kill them as soon as you see them in phase one, or they will create barriers over the adds that makes them tougher to ignore, but there is a large gap between the banners appearing and them casting their first barrier.
For all other mobs i like to ignore them and focus on Chronos, while i passively kill them.
To do this you want your passive damage to do around 300 hp of damage. This is your aoe cast or your dash.
There are multiple casts that can do it but i recommend Hestia and Demeter.
https://preview.redd.it/kfqerlfcr50d1.png?width=1204&format=png&auto=webp&s=7b09ef75b00b87b60362eaeb2c75db53fd416a6e
https://preview.redd.it/yhe9isefr50d1.png?width=1195&format=png&auto=webp&s=66ec3e8cdd10011f7f167f840764537808e30427
https://preview.redd.it/pngxfu93s50d1.png?width=1002&format=png&auto=webp&s=c8a5380ad2eabaaed9653d35376a87a712fcbd96
As their basic cast deals the damage over time not their omega cast. Combined with Zeus or Hestia's casting boon, which either fires a fireball or lightning bolt and lets you target your cast. Aiming at the adds without needing to move near them.
https://preview.redd.it/midkkvsjr50d1.png?width=1196&format=png&auto=webp&s=f6028a6ecbb5fb6e8218f518ae1a151727db5ff8
https://preview.redd.it/a9epj6tmr50d1.png?width=1209&format=png&auto=webp&s=08bb13adaf7bee52b768585e6592c5a3c56f61b5
For this you get a burst (fireball or bolt) of damage and sustained dps by just tapping cast allowing you to focus your attention on chronos. Both dont waste your time charging your attack which is deadly in this encounter as the titan of time is immune to the omega attack charge time slowing.
The second method of dealing with adds passively is a high dps dash attack. The best for this is posidon. Getting his dash to heroic makes it deal 200 plus damage and has knockback cc. Allowing you to dodge chronos and move in to attack him while killing his adds in the process without thinking about it.
https://preview.redd.it/un3obwirr50d1.png?width=1201&format=png&auto=webp&s=900c8f4b2ae1cc838f208565b143541b42e5b418
Heroic Breaker Sprint does 200+ damage with no poms, but this one i got as a trade for another sprint has enough damage to kill all the adds in two hits for just 10 mana This sprint was doing 360 damage per hit.
Chronos himself, burst damage and placement
Every weapon has a way to deal reliable burst damage, to beat Chronos you want one of your attacks, special or main, to be able to deal a combo of around 1k damage in a few second, the gap you have to punish him when he uses his boomerang or scythe slice attack - but if you are struggling the highest single attack damage belong to the Argent Skull and the Moonstone Axe. Both can very easily get over 300 damage per attack,
The best axe strategy i learnt from a chaos trial in the pitch black stone. The hammer ability Hell Chop which turns your basic attack into a 300+ damage chop is amazing vs bosses with the Mel aspect Axe, as it allows you to dive, do a large burst attack and then dash right out, hopefully dealing some damage in the same time. The basic strategy is to have a good damage skill, like Nova Attack on the axe, lay your cast on top of Chronos for the bonus damage and attack with the axe, using this method ive gotten the axe to 1300 damage per attack with a very wide AOE range. allowing you to take your chance, attack once for a big burst and then bug out of his range.
If you arent lucky enough to get this specific hammer, the axe is a slow but reliable way to deal 5% of Chronos's health in a single attack. Just hit him with its full combo while he uses the two punishable moves, use Mels aspect as it allows the axe to attack fast enough. The spin omega attack is great for dps and picking off adds and is how i got my first win.
The Skull is good in that it deals its damage from a range, doing 80-100 damage with a decent attack boon you can blast chronos with 300 damage per reload, much more if he is in your cast or you have extra damage boons like Hestia, Zeus or Hephestus, then move into one of his safe zones. There are two must have hammers that boost this to the next level. The one which adds two skulls, giving you 500 base damage per wave, and the one which creates the omega attack effect when you collect the skull creating a combo where you hit him for 300, dash into him, then blast him for 300 damage per skull, so another 900 burst, this is a simple 1300 damage combo that keeps you at range and mobile most of the time and will burn the titans health in no time.
https://preview.redd.it/c2naaiwx760d1.png?width=1235&format=png&auto=webp&s=5a5498752237320c01f508e52882f0d994c64b8b
Any weapon can have reliable burst added by using Hephaestus's explosion boon, which is a long cool down 300-400 burst, around 5% of his HP, that can be boosted with furnace blast to double the damage- if you are lucky with Poms you can get the cooldown of volcanic strike as low as 2 seconds, which makes this very reliable.
https://preview.redd.it/xn88yrsm360d1.png?width=1192&format=png&auto=webp&s=3ee0e7a5e5b945cc67d8e4a684e97c534934a7eb
Through the Poseidon and Hestia duo boon which creates high damage DPS on slipped and burned enemies (Which you may have from the two quick attack methods above)
As well as through Zeus blitz effect, on fast weapons like the sister blades, for example Blitz on the special could be triggered by Hephaestus's attack causing the combo to trigger for 100 damage blitz+200-300 volcanic strike and 300 furnace strike, creating a 600 damage combo by pressing 2 buttons using 3 common boons. The Zeus/Aphrodite duo boon also allows you to instant trigger blitz turning these into very reliable burst damage boons.
There are too many of these combos to mention and part of the fun will be finding ones that work for you
Placement
For phase one Chronos is pretty simple to avoid.
His scythe whirlwind attack is slower than your dash, if you are using the dash method to passively kills adds this is a good time to run into them and kill them. Dropping your cast on the big guy as you are behind him
Boomerang scythe move is easy to avoid, its blind spot is right in front of Chronos allowing you to hit with your slowest highest dps moves easily.
His wide swing and dash attack both leave a black scar in the ground, these are the only places that are hit by the attack, you can continue attacking him close up through the swing, as the blind spot is again right in front of him, for the dash, he curls his back and shakes, your signal to dodge to the side
Golden Balls/ Bullet hell attacks, at some point Chronos will start teleporting, and generating a round shield of balls, as well as leaving a time stop barrier where he was, this is clearly signposted by a gold magic circle at his feet so easy to dodge the time freeze and these balls are low DPS for him (dealing just 13 damage for me), and can be soaked if you want, but the best way to deal with them is stand near a wall, when he next teleports the balls will hit the wall and burst. However if you have revenge attacks like Zeus's bolt, maybe 13 damage is worth taking those hits for the revenge effects. a 100 damage bolt in return for a 13 damage ball seems fair to me, though ive not done this strategy it occurred to me while recording the damage it took for this post. He also creates a vortex of balls around him. These, just ignore, they have a low range, dash out of it near the styx, take a moment to recover your mana if you have a wait to regen skill or kill some of his adds.
Thats phase one, dodge around ball and vortex attack, punish his boomerang and scythe swing attack by standing in front of him in the blind spot damaging him. Looking for the arched back and shake that indicates is is about to dash.
Phase 2 - Instant death effects and you
The first attack is an instant death or damn near it, whole field wipe. One of the clock numbers will glow, that is your safe zone, you have enough time to get from the other side of the arena if you dash but the second you see a glowing number go for it.
Ticking Clock: A clock hand appears that moves around in order, if hit by the golden hand it will stun you for a second as well as damage you, but this is easy enough to dodge.
Closing circle: If the middle of the clock glows, a circle of damage is about to come, you need to dash outside of the magic circle as it closes in. Sometimes there are two circles.
Time grasp: He will reach at you and slow your time, this is pretty ok, you cant do anything about it but he doesnt do anything to hurt you while slow, just avoid hitting one of the AOE effects already on field. When testing he only ever did this once to me each battle so feels more like a flex than a real attack.
His second instant death attack is creating a black circle on the outside and middle with a range of no colour
Notes provided by Microsoft snipping tool
Time bubbles, he creates many gold circles on the ground, getting caught in one when it goes off punishes you by freezing you. For me this catches me when im escaping the closing circle and he goes right in for the freeze, but otherwise easy to dodge
https://preview.redd.it/6b323wjsz50d1.png?width=1209&format=png&auto=webp&s=50c9f00c2e504881cd301dbfa3db1c724c77a72c
Bullet hell rings, he creates three rings of low damage golden balls, easy to dodge and position so they dont hurt you. I find my little froggy buddy usually negates an entire ring just sitting there. The warning for this is red circles on the ground. The 3rd ring is too far out to ever damage you, the inner ring is a shield and will probably need to be soaked, the middle ring is far enough away you can wait in the gap and hit him with ranged attacks and still be close enough to dodge boomerang and slice.
https://preview.redd.it/2fyvphlw160d1.png?width=1582&format=png&auto=webp&s=9b88cb489e7e10e5708f266ad8c2c243b854bdfd
At half health he summons hourglasses and puts a shield around himself, you dont need to kill the glasses, but since hes shielded and bullet covered himself may as well until he moves back to a normal pattern.
The whole time he is using his three core attacks, the dash, the slice and the boomerang, All three have wider arcs meaning a bigger safe zone for the boomerang and the slice.
After 50% health there is less of a delay between all his attacks, but it stays much the same with golden balls added to the rotation more,
Just keep dodging the AOEs, stay in front of him when hes not casting those and hit hard and often.
https://preview.redd.it/8hekgdn8260d1.png?width=1615&format=png&auto=webp&s=52e6462a71ba9df580cd3ff3276b7dcb8093085a
Finally General run advice
Boon rarity, heroic boons are an amazing investment, an increase from 80 to 200 damage on posidons dash attack? insane, there are 3 methods i use.
Rare crop from Demeter, considering that this is the most reliable way taking Demeter's keepsake at the start of a run is a good call. Will take 1-3 of your boons and make them heroic over the next 12 encounters, so if you are going to take it take it early, it also helps to do that so it chooses the core boons you want to boost. Getting this as my 4th boon in order to make my main attack cast and dash heroic is something i will happily waste my hammers onThis can be supplemented by switching to Narcissus's keepsake after first boss to turn one more of your early boons heroic, just make sure to change keepsake before drinking from the fountain.
https://preview.redd.it/d2ztqte4660d1.png?width=1087&format=png&auto=webp&s=e5af945426eb7027b70e37da2b7276c79f14ead9
The opposite of this is Heras skill Bridal Glow, which makes all your boons heroic but slowly downgrades them. Only safe to take right before the final boss, but i did once get it in the final Charon shop and had fun. If not willing to take the risk on this Hera has one of the most powerful skills in the game IMO, Proper Upbringing infusion which makes all your boons rare
https://preview.redd.it/aeqkwoai660d1.png?width=1256&format=png&auto=webp&s=9e95b879774cb458b7136c71baaa8bcd1176c81c
And then combos of another of her boons for a flat damage increase to everything
https://preview.redd.it/ceexx3wl660d1.png?width=1186&format=png&auto=webp&s=2a99e6cad714c2e47cd64e19f6683eb2f60f98e0
Hera and Hestia both offer means to trade offerings for higher versions also, so running either of these goddesses will leave you with more rare and heroic than not.
Hope this has helped if anyone has a 1k plus combo not mentioned here let me know :) And before you complain the game is too hard, use god mode.
Update: For fun after this i went back to 34 fear and tried using my least favourite weapon, the torches, i wound up getting 3 hammers this run which boosted my special, an echo double and 2 normal, so my blitz special became my burst damage and my passive damage, as the circling yellow orbs took out the adds, and as i surmised above, having two vengeance effects and soaking the golden balls was an effective way to damage Chronos. I wasnt quite doing enough damage to hurt chronos, but my hex ability came in clutch for bursts of DPSFor more fun the vows i used :)
https://preview.redd.it/flganyf4w70d1.png?width=1333&format=png&auto=webp&s=f69e5ee492134889e967c2a1d5a3eee21f3be196
https://preview.redd.it/uuxeqbz8w70d1.png?width=408&format=png&auto=webp&s=cf4461ef438ce9891ae46790d846a1f437aa2924
https://preview.redd.it/ltsqsg0ts70d1.png?width=696&format=png&auto=webp&s=0649f1024d0803a6b71e2de78de72950e33101ef
Vow of blood and dominance - Opponents having more health and damage is standard of increased difficulty
Vow of fury - Honestly a buff, enemies being faster means they move into my attacks faster
Vow of commotion - More mobs isnt a problem as you can see i build up AOE damage for the end battle adds, rather than single target damage
Vow of wandering - never really feel the impact of this one, its three vow points for nothing, am i the only one who finds the zone 1 mobs harder than the zone 2 and 3?
Vow of scars, no healing, this hurts, honestly a run ender - not one to choose lightly
Vow of destitution, this seems bad, but not really, the vow of commotion adds enough mobs that you get enough gold to counter it.
Vow of panic - i leave this on for my low heat runs, it changes the way you play a little 0 mana at start of a round makes you think about and use your gain boons more effectively.
Vow of bitterness - I hate it i hate it i hate it. I lost a Hera boon when i chose her keepsake to get it! I lost a boss Zeus boon! Ah i hate this one. But in the end 3 less boons isnt that bad of a cost.
Vow of arrogance - this costs you primed mana for rare boons, but since i used rare crop and narcissus's keepsake to boost my boons to heroic it didnt have much impact at all on this run.
Vows i hate and will never use -
Rebuke - Just annoying having to chip all enemies before hurting them, it forces fast weapon styles and just annoys me enough to avoid
Haunting - maybe i suck, but battles just go forever and ever with this one
Forsaking - The FOMO of loosing a boon you wanted upsets me a lot so dont pick this one
Desperation - look i think i made good time sub 20 min here, but ive never won a game with this (or the hades equivalent on)
Abandon - 5 fear is a lot, but loosing my arcana cards is way too big a cost.
I think i could have activated vow of suffering and gone for 38 fear here, might try that one some time.
submitted by Kind_Stranger_weeb to HadesTheGame [link] [comments]


2024.05.13 10:37 Cummy_wummys Curing Malpractice ch-21

Disclaimer: I have to shorten the words on this one because the chapter had gone on for to long and stole the word count limit. Every person in this section has my deepest and most sincere thanks for the art, memes, and love they have shown my series.
Thank you to: for proofreading, editing, and this art. Check his fic here!
u/Talentlessfurry for this art.
u/Roddcherry for adding Novel to the charismas party he drew.
u/everyveryever for this art.
u/Emotion-Senior for the meme.
u/Orphandestroyer99 for the comic and art.
u/abrachoo for the meme.
u/guaiwutongzhi for the art.
u/United_Patriots for the art.
u/migulehove for the art(s).
u/aMANTEIGAdo for the art.
u/SlimyRage for the art.
Thank you to each and every one of these amazing people!
CW: Accidental Substance Abuse
Memory Transcription Subject: Novel, Kolshian Scientist and Self-Proclaimed “Gamer God”
Date {standardized human time}: October 19th, 2136
The elevator ride took a lot longer than I would have liked, my excitement and anticipation making it difficult to stand still. Ada’s room was almost at the top floor of the building — along with those of the other members of my herd — making it take a bit longer to get to than most of the other Humans’ I’ve visited while here.
Seems they are keeping the various tribes in their own groups. The fourth floor has the Germans, French, Polish, and Austrians, with a few Danes and Swedes mixed in. I wonder if they did that to keep the different tribes from fighting with ones they don’t like? Doubtful really, everyone seems to get along well enough, disregarding a couple jabs here and there. Probably just makes geographical sense to put them together.
My pondering was broken with a soft ding of the old elevator doors opening. I stepped out of the elevator quickly and took in my surroundings. There were very few humans milling about the quiet halls as they went about their business. One human with comfy-looking pelts had noticed me step out of the elevator and had frozen where they stood. After a short, yet still uncomfortably awkward moment, I gave a wave with one of my upper appendages and walked down a different hall.
A few moments later, I pulled out my pad to look at the message Sindre sent me.
Room 441, hailey and i went to get some stuff for the sesh. ada will be there in a bit. see you soon, {censored}
From: Sindre(Human)
I quickly typed out my own message.
Thank you! I’ll meet you there!
From: Me
Stowing the pad, I made my way there. Along the way I encountered several more Humans, each of which having some sort of reaction to my presence. Mostly just freezing in place or casting glances at me as I walked by. Some of them recognized me, either from when we baked together, or when I was in the rec room when the news dropped and gave me a wave in return. There was one case though when a Terran exited their room, saw me, and let out a noise I can only describe as a squeal before diving back into their room.
That last one confused me to no end, as I had never seen that reaction from a human before. I considered knocking on the door before thinking better of it and continuing down the hall to my destination.
How curious… I'll have to ask Ada about that human and why they ran away from me... Heh, prey scaring predators. Not so long ago, such a concept would’ve been seen as the ultimate goal, any real-world examples derided as only that of a dreamer’s fallacy, and yet now… I don’t think I like the idea so much…
I made a mental note to apologize to them if we ever meet again and kept walking, this time with my form hunched and my pace a little faster than before so I could avoid bothering the Terrans as much. It seemed to work, and the humans seemed to look away a little faster than they had previously.
Arriving at Ada’s door, though, I composed myself as best I could, straightening my back and taking a deep breath to calm myself. I knocked on the door a few times, only for it to open a slight amount. Cocking my head in confusion, I listened to the slight groaning of the hinges before I gently pushed it the rest of the way, the door creaking loudly in resistance.
The room smelled of wax and freshly harvested Othll bark, like I had just walked into the home improvement aisle of a store. Walking further inside showed me the source of the smell, which was a set of candles sitting on top of a nightstand in the corner… next to a fire alarm with the battery taken out.
That’s a little concerning… that can’t be safe at least. I should tell her to put it back in when I see her… wherever she is.
Looking around the room some more showed it to be quite unkempt, with pelts and other junk laying strewn haphazardly across the floor. Personal knick-knacks and picture frames sat on shelves and tables around the room, making the places feel a lot more homely than the other rooms I’d been in. A large TV sat on the other side of the room across from the bed, which had been recently used, going by the blanket on the floor and the pillows tossed about. Against the wall next to the bed was a large couch that had clearly seen better paws, the top layer peeling heavily and scattering the little bits of plastic covering everywhere.
Sitting next to the TV appeared to be some sort of Terran gaming console, complete with bright colors plastered across its many faces and with several different wires coming out of it. Far more than there should be, since part of the case it was in had been smashed to fit more cabling into. Tools, used wires, and broken plastic laid scattered next to the patchwork job.
Seems they really did modify it. Makes sense, since I doubt it would normally work on our systems at all… we should really put that fire alarm back in…
Just as I started walking over to inspect it, my lower tentacle caught something soft on one of the suckers. Looking down showed it to be one of the chest pelts Ada had been wearing the paw I met her. Closer inspection showed the whole floor was covered in discarded pelts, including some I had never seen before!
I let out a sigh as I looked around at the mess… I hope she doesn't mind if I cleaned up a bit.
And that's exactly what I did as I waited for my host to return. It did not take long for me to find the garbage can and hamper she used for her used pelts. While I worked though the piles, I took note of the stranger clothes I saw. Most of them were the regular chest pelts that I’d seen every human wear, but others were completely unique or otherwise somehow unusual.
One such example was what I can only describe as some sort of winter gear? It had a very intricate design on the front made of lace and a very soft interior made of a kind of purple fabric. What made it even more strange was that I found several of these scattered around the room, meaning that she was wearing these pretty regularly too!
Hmmm… perhaps it is meant to keep their ears warm? That would explain the strap on the back, as it would be meant to go under their chin. That doesn’t explain why she would be using it though, and to have so many! It must get cold in here when the A/C kicks in, I guess. This place is really old after all.
Either way, they went into the hamper. I left the tools where they were, in case they belonged to different people, but everything else went straight into the trash. The whole process was pretty exhausting, but the room ended up looking much nicer than it had before!
Just as I finished bagging up the garbage can, the door gave a loud creak as Ada stepped in wearing some pretty comfortable-looking pelts similar to the ones she had been wearing a few paws ago, pink prey head slippers and all.
A few {seconds} pass as she starts pulling out clear totes full of what I assume to be her things before I break out of my confusion and flick her a tail wave.
“Hey Ada! Whe-”
AAAAHHH!!!
She screamed as she stumbled onto her back, causing me to drop the bag and jump in fright. We stared at each other for a moment before Ada spoke up.
“Nov’?! What the fuck are you doing in here?! You weren't… ya Allah, you scared the crap out of me!”
My arms and tentacles raised up in a pleading gesture after I realized what I did. “S-sorry! I-I thought you would see me! And Sindre said to meet you here? F-for the games?”
Ada took a few more moments to calm down on the floor, but eventually, she stood up and took a few breaths. “You’re fine, squiddie… Sindre didn’t mention how close you were so… oh well, doesn't matter I guess. Uh, what’s in the bag you got there? Also… where are all of my clothes?”
At her observation, I picked up the trash bag and held it up for her to see. “Well… your room was a bit of a mess, a-and you were gone, so I did a bit of… cleaning? Nothing major, just throwing away some trash and putting the pelts in the hamper.”
“Oh, well, thanks Nov. I was gonna get to that befor-” Suddenly she stops herself mid-sentence. Her eyes widen as she casts her forward-facing gaze over to the pelts’ bin.
For some reason, the human's usual light brown features darken considerably with a crimson bloom. Ada turned to look at me, and I gave my best happy expression I could muster to put her at ease. This time, the human's face twisted into an obvious forced snarl before she gave up, running a hand down her face.
“Novel, j-just a heads up for the future, it’s considered rude to go through someone's room and touch their… pelts without permission. They are, um, quite personal belongings, and we don’t let other people touch certain ones. Fuck, uh, don’t tell the other two about this either. It would be, eugh…” Ada’s snarl gets larger as she looks back to the hamper, the crimson still blooming across her face. My tail flicked curiously as I looked between her and the pelt basket.
How peculiar… Hailey seemed just fine with dumping all sorts of pelts on me when she was showing them off. Perhaps that's because she studies it, so in that case it’s seen as okay? Maybe it has more to deal with how I came in here without her supervision? Predators are known to be territorial in the wild, and the Humans seem to be that way as well with their many borders. Letting someone into your ‘territory’ must be a pretty personal thing in the first place. Which would mean that she must be upset that I just walked in here and started messing with things! Speh!
A tentacle reached out, or up I suppose, to Ada’s shoulder while my tail signaled my sincerest apologies. “I-I am so sorry, Ada. If I knew, I would have never touched anything! Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone! Do you want me to… put it back the way I found it?”
The human seemed to find my appeasement worthy as she let out a quiet laugh. “No, Nov’, you’re just fine. Thanks for cleaning up too, I guess; I was gonna do it myself, but oh well… not something we need to talk about.” She lets out another laugh as she walks over to the modified console and grabs a controller.
Yet, before she could get a word out, there was a sharp knock on the door, followed by it swinging open to reveal the last two members of our herd. Sindre came in first, carrying several different bags filled to the brim with snacks of all varieties. He gave a simple head nod and rushed over to the table by the TV to deposit his haul, dropping a few on the floor in his haste.
Hailey walked in right behind him with a plastic grocery bag over her shoulder filled with many different colored bottles of drink and a tray of small dark-brown squares covered in plastic wrap. Her free hand gave us both a wave while she walked to the table in a much calmer manner, at least when compared to her compatriot.
We both gave our own wave in return while I spoke up. “Hey guys! Welcome! What did you get from the kitchen?”
Hailey set her things down on the table. “Not much. Some dried fruit, chips, cookies, soda, juice, and even some fresh brownies someone made! I assumed they were for the taking since they had a few trays sitting out to cool down, but we didn’t really have time to ask since we kinda rushed up here. Oh, and the kitchen stinks to high hell for some reason. Might have to tell Emmanual about that.”
My head tilted curiously at the information as Ada and Sindre moved the couch over to where I was standing. Once it was in place, I took a seat at the opposite end from Hailey. “Well, I’m glad you got what you wanted! Do you mind if I take one of those, uh, brownies?”
She gave me a hand wave as I reached over and undid the plastic wrap around the treats. They were still quite warm from the kitchen! I took a small bite out of the corner to get a taste of it, only to then gobble up the whole thing in one bite.
This is amazing! It’s like strayu but… richer? With an almost cough medicine aftertaste mixed with that strange spice? Such a strange and yet fascinating combination!
“Such a weird taste… but definitely a good one! Are there any more downstairs?” I asked while covering my mouth as best I could for the sake of manners.
She took one herself and took a small bite. “Yep, at least a couple more trays from what we saw. Though I bet most of those will be gone once word gets around.”
My head nodded solemnly as I picked up another.
Might as well enjoy them while we can!
Ada walked over to me and flicked the space in between my eyes with her fingers. Her other hand passed me a human game controller before taking a seat right next to me. “Save some for us, ya green goblin! Pretty sure we’re meant to share those!”
The humans let out a soft chuckle while my face warmed in embarrassment. Luckily, they didn’t stay focused on it for long before she pointed to the controller. “So, do you need help with that? It’s not exactly built for you.”
Moving it around in my appendages was more than enough to prove that fact, but I tried to give her a dismissive tail wave while sitting down. “Don’t worry… I should be able to make this work…” I said while using all four of my limbs to hold the piece of plastic. It wasn’t exactly comfortable, but it’ll do the job for now.
“Not the first time I had to do this. There are a lot of different species on Aafa, and some of them have very strange, uh, manipulators… you just have to get used to it.”
There may not have been a lot, or really any other species in my home town, but that college certainly did. Me and Cloyta used to hang out with a few different herds whenever we had the time. That Tilfish remote was an interesting experience to use. Having to use smells to figure out a puzzle in a game like it was normal was really something else.
The TV and console suddenly turned on with a bright flash as Sindre held out a remote towards them both. He used his controller to navigate to a menu on the system to reveal a vast collection of Human games. I grabbed my pad out of my pack to translate some of the games as Sindre scrolled by.
Doom of Kevsar, Helldivers: Super Dating Simulator, Papa’s Pizzeria, Skyrim 2… all these seem fine, I guess. At least not super violent like I thought… A good sign!
Sindre spoke up first as he continued to look through the archive. “Anyway, we were talking the other day about which game to show you first, but we couldn’t agree on what would be the best showcase. So instead of one game voted in from all of us, we are each going to show you a game we think you’ll like best. Sounds good?”
My tail thumped against the back of the couch in acceptance. “Yup! That actually sounds really great! Get to see a wider spectrum of human ‘entertainment!’ Who’s going first?”
“Sindre is…” Hailey speaks up in between bites of her confection, “His system, his pick… still think it’s a dumb fucking game though.” He says as he stops his scrolling and arrives at a very brightly colored preview with several… Humans? Human-like creatures in what look like Dossur vehicles?
He presses a button to select the game as a grin grows on his face. “Hey, Mario Kart Galaxy 3 is a classic! You’re just mad because you’re bad at it.” Sindre turns his head to me while Hailey leans forward. “You’ll love it, I swear. Really shows off the real Humanity we have to hide from you guys.”
“That's for a good reason, you dolt. But it’s your choice…” Hailey said while wiping her hands on a napkin.
I hoped he was right as some cheerful music started playing.
{Memory Transcription Time Advancement: 19 Terran standard minutes…}
Sindre was right! This is fun!
The upbeat music continues to play as I make another turn around a corner, drifting a little to build up some momentum. The ‘Birdo’ creature in my ‘Kart’ does a little dance as I time it right and get a small speed boost, sending me further down the multi-colored track.
“Hmmhmmmhm, hmhmhmm~.” I tried my best to hum along to the music as I continued with the race.
I never would have thought that a racing game could be interesting. Cloyta and I played a few when we were much younger, but they seemed slow in comparison. Usually had a goal at the end as well, like delivering some fruits to a market, or maybe trading on spacefaring merchant vessels in the more complex ones.
It was super fun though! Competing against each other felt a little off, but I wrote it off as a Human cultural thing. A way of bonding, as with most things for them it seems. Other than that, I found the racing to be a lot of fun! There was so much going on, and yet it somehow managed to really keep you aware of everything going on at all times.
A projectile here, a fruit peel trap there, there was so much to think about that I almost forgot to pay attention to the humans! Which, if I weren’t here to study them, might have been a good thing. There were times the competitive nature of the game seemed to draw something else out of them, something I hadn’t expected.
It was… well…
“If I run into one more fucking banana, I will kick you down a flight of stairs and jump on your head from the top step!”
“How the hell did that hit ME!? Broken fucking hitboxes in this shitty ass game!”
“GET YOUR CRUSTY TOAD ASS OFF ME BEFORE I RIP YOU ASSHOLE TO ASSHOLE!!!”
…intense.
My enjoyment of the game seemed to be pretty one-sided unfortunately. Even by the already high standards of the Humans’ previous banter, this was truly something else. While I was still learning the game and slowly climbed up the leaderboard, the Humans all led the herd by taking the top 3 spots every time. They were so close together in some of the races that it was nearly impossible to tell who would win until the last moment, making their yelling even more vicious and bloodthirsty.
There were times I thought they were about to get physically violent with each other once it got to the final lap, but thankfully, it never came to that, aside from maybe some light pushing. Their… banter? Fighting? Uh… verbal abuse towards each other made learning the game a lot harder too since every time I tried to ask a question, my voice would get drowned out in all the yelling. They did show me the basic controls before we started, but it’s a little hard to ask for pointers when your coaches are threatening severe bodily harm against each other.
As I drifted around another sharp turn, my mind wandered back to what Sindre said when we’d first started:
‘Really shows off the real Humanity we have to hide from you guys.’
Was this supposed to be the ‘real Humanity’? I sure hope not… I think I’d prefer if they actually came to blows instead of continuing this barrage of foulness they are constantly spewing. They don’t even seem to be enjoying it! They have to be doing it for a reason… right?
I continued to think as I continued down the track and finished my second lap. The argument was starting to build up again as the stakes started to rise.
“Oh, yeah, of course you get a red shell in 2nd and I get fucking bananas in 3RD! Gotta love this piece of shit game!!” Hailey shouted, leaning forward like she was about to pounce on the TV.
“Not my fault you can’t aim for shit, dumbass! Just throw better!” Sindre quipped back.
“How about I throw you out a five story window?! I mean, I would if your fatass wouldn't snap the floorboards if I tried!” Ada finished it as he gave her an aggressive shove with his shoulder.
Yet, unlike how I expected, she didn’t push back. That's what makes this all so confusing! Each time they antagonize each other, the other person does it back, and they just stop! Their words sound like they mean it to hurt, and their actions reflect that… but they aren’t acting on it.
Hmm… the ‘real Humanity’, huh… Maybe I’m approaching this the wrong way? Something less about who the Humans are, so to speak, but more how they feel? They’ve been awfully emotional in every interaction I’ve ever had with them… Aggressive, too, admittedly. Maybe… maybe this is a way for them to vent some of that aggression safely? Around people they really trust with a game you can complain about, but demands too much attention to leave them to do more than yell at each other? Things have been rather… stressful, lately.
My tail thumped a few more times against the dilapidated couch, sending a few more puffs of stuffing into the air. The theory kind of lined up with what I knew, but I was here with the primary source for a reason, after all. I would just ask them, but…
“I am going to FUCKING DEEPFRY THAT FUCKING MUSHROOM {Ass Violin}!!!”
They were busy.
They seem pretty angry… but if it helps them deal with their stress, then I am just fine with it. I’m glad they are getting through it in their own… ‘special’ Human way.
In any case, it was still better than damming it all up until it overflowed and someone really got hurt. Safe in the knowledge that the Humans (probably) wouldn’t actually attack each other, I just resolved to focus on the game instead. The third and final lap was coming around, and things were starting to ramp up even further. The Humans’ false violence got even louder, and coupled with the occasional and really rather distracting limb shooting out and the rapidly intensifying music, my poor heart was not in the best condition as our racers closed in on the finish line.
But then, all of a sudden, something very strange happened. The Humans simultaneously began to curse louder than ever before, screaming and wailing as an odd blue indicator flashed along the top of the screen, indicating some kind of blue spiky ball rapidly approaching us from behind. All three of them illogically slammed on the brakes, clearly trying to dodge the oncoming projectile, but it was to no avail. The ball flew right past my ‘Kart’ and struck the center of the tightly crowded humans, unleashing an explosion of blue fire that stunned all three.
Allowing my Kart, driving at maximum speed in hopes of any shot at outrunning the projectile, to shoot right past them and cross the finish line first.
Wait… what?
A brief silence hung in the air at what just happened until my arms went up in the air
“Hey, look! I won! Hehehe! I didn’t know I would get so lucky on my first try! Is that sort of thing… common…?”
I stopped my celebration as all the Humans were giving me very intense looks with their stares. They lacked the familiar friendliness most Humans looked at me with, but instead seemed much… angrier.
Speh, right. They are still mad from before, and now I just beat them at their own race… O-okay, they don’t mean it, they are upset and need to let it out. Just have to get through it.
Seeing what was about to happen, I curled in on myself and braced myself for the barrage of verbal slurry coming my way. A moment passed as I waited for the insults to fly but… they never came? Opening an eye revealed the Human’s expressions had changed from fury to…
Amusement?
“You alright there Nov’? You’re shaking pretty bad… Was that too much?” Ada asked in a quiet voice while patting me on the back roughly. It took a moment for my brain to catch up before I could speak again.
“O-oh, uh, sorry, I thought you all were going to… yell at me? Like you did with each other?” My voice was a little shaky as I unfurled myself.
All of the Germans seemed to wince a little at that. “Yeah… fuck, sorry about that. Mario Kart is a pretty rage-inducing game. Shoulda thought about that beforehand.”
My tail attempted to signal calm while trapped behind me. “N-no, it’s fine… I did learn a lot actually. It was fun too, besides the yelling part. Um, can we move on though? I think I’ve got enough out of this one.”
Sindre exits the game with a nod while the others let out deep sighs. “Yeah, sorry Nov’. It’s one of the most popular party games Humanity ever made, so I figured it would be a good one to show you. Next is… Ada’s pick… we sure we should do this one?”
The woman turned her head to look at Sindre. “Positive. They have a vegan option in the settings, so it’s not going to get us arrested or anything. Plus, it's a cooperative party game! Feds seem to love that whole ‘herd’ thing, and Nov’ liked the last one so I’m sure it’ll be fine!”
She gave a dismissive hand wave before turning back to me. “It’ll be fine, really. I played this game as a kid all the time, no need to panic, right?” She seemed a little worried at the end of that sentence, so I tried to put on a brave face.
“S-sounds great! What’s it about?” I mentally chastised myself for my stutter and reached towards the table to grab another pastry. “Ahem. There’s nothing predatory in it, right?”
She grabs one herself and a glass of an orange fizzy drink. “Nope, none at all! Just some harmless cooking with your friends! You’ll love it!” Her enthusiasm helped me calm down as the game started booting up on screen.
Overcooked 5: Season of Seasoning.
Looks cheerful at least. Cooking is fun too… It’ll be fine, yeah.
I took a bite out of my brownie as the game's main menu music started to play.
{Memory Transcription Time Advancement: 23 Standard Terran Minutes…}
You know… I think I get it.
A soft relaxing track played in the background as the four little chefs on screen ran around doing various tasks needed to keep the kitchen functioning, like preparing vegetables, or washing dishes. A timer at the top of the screen was slowly counting down while a little ‘onion’ next to it with a Human face rambled on about something or other.
Orders start coming in quick, and all of us get to work in a flash… or at least, all of us SHOULD be.
“Can you three stop licking the dust clouds in the vents and actually do something to help me, PLEASE?!”
A trio of Human giggles was my only response as I leaned forward in concentration.
This game. This brahking game. They should use this for testing for intelligence like those quizzes we took back home, since clearly some people go brain dead trying to do literally anything that isn’t getting in my stars-damned way, or otherwise waste valuable time by huffing the gas coming off the stove!
Finishing up one order of seaweed wraps and lettuce salad, I tried to get back to the kitchen, but was immediately blocked by… a plate on the floor.
“WHO-!! Why is there a plate on the floor?! The counter is literally right there! It’s such a simple job to-” A ding rings out, showing several new orders that needed to be filled. The timer started flashing red as we reached the one ‘minute’ mark.
A deep, frustrated growl builds in my throat, causing my Humans to laugh for some reason, incensing me even further! We all get to work in completing the last orders, however. Things were going well as the Terrans seemed to (finally) get it together to actually make some good food. Sindre had just finished cooking the rice while Ada chopped the carrots. Me and Hailey were putting everything together on the other side and sending it through until—
“Is, oh my stars, did you guys really send over raw rice?! It’s not even partially cooked!! Are you all a bunch of mountain dwellers? Do you eat your dry grass with a side of brahking pebbles and pond scum?! Cook it again!” I threw the rice back, hitting Sindre in the back of the head with the pile of rice, causing his character to fall over with a cartoonish thunk sound effect.
The Germans laughed loudly at the scene, which made my face heat up in frustration. The timer was running short as we waited for the rice to actually be cooked this time.
“Nov’, I, haha, I’m sorry. I’ll get it done this time, have mercy! I thought the last one was done so I-”
My head turned just enough for my eye to be focused solely on the pale Human. “IT WAS BRAHKING RAW!! There's a bar at the top that tells you! Do you need eye surgery?? Can you even pass a driving test??”
More laughter.
“AND STOP LAUGHING AT ME!! IT’S NOT FUNNY!!”
A ding came from the pot to signify it was done. Ada immediately took it out and walked over to the counter to pass it.
“Perfect, now just- what are you doing?”
She wasn’t passing it over. Instead, she was charging up her throw way more than she needed to. I was just about to say something as the clock flashed brightly ‘till she threw the rice at full force.
Directly at my little chef. The rice beamed directly off the side of my character's head, sending me flying away from the plate and sprawled across the kitchen floor as the rice landed gently on the ground.
ADA!!!!!
The countdown is drowned out by the humans erupting into laughter as I desperately try and recover. Yet, just as I make it to my feet, the countdown reaches zero, and the mission ends. Defeat fills my chest while the onion man does a little dance to tally up our points.
49600… only two out of three stars…
It’s over…
I slumped against the back of the couch, fury and betrayal stirring in my chest while the predators laughed to each other for several moments. Their raucous, howling laughter eventually started dying down, at least enough for them to actually say something to me.
“Nov’, come on. It’s just a game. I’m, hehehe, I’m sorry okay? We were just having a little fun is all.” She ran her treacherous hands down my back in an effort to calm me, to little effect.
“Dumb game. Stupid… start the next mission…”
She chuckled a bit. “Maybe we should play a different game. You don’t seem real happy playing this one.”
That made my tail flick in light amusement though the frustration. “Now you sound like my Dad…” My anger at the game started to fade more and more, replaced with a growing sensation of guilt. ”I-I think that’s a good idea. Um, sorry about that.”
She removed her hand, but kept her eyes on me and the gooey trail now stringing from her hand. “Eugh… hey, you’re fine. If you can deal with us screaming at each other, then we can handle your little squeaks.”
The other two smiled and nodded in agreement while I looked at her in confusion, feeling a little offended. “My… squeaks? But, um, thank you... W-what's the next game? Hailey’s turn, right?”
On cue, she brushes her mane to the side and starts scrolling down. “Yes, actually! Unlike these two walnuts, I actually picked a relaxing game. A classic. An art piece~” Her hands did a slight flair, yet I remained unmoved.
“Hailey, that's what the other two said too. While those games were… fine, I wouldn’t call them ‘masterpieces.’ Are you sure about this one?” I asked while grabbing another brownie.
I keep eating these things, but I just feel more and more hungry… weird…
The Humans chucked as she selected her game. “Hey, have a little faith in me. I haven't met a Human alive that can say this game is bad. Just watch!”
A flash came from the TV as the game's title came into view.
Minecraft: Anniversary Edition.
“We’ll use one of the worlds we were playing on back on Earth so you can get an idea of what it’s really like. And, uh, make sure it's peaceful too, just in case.”
I took a bite of the treat and settled into my spot, preparing myself for whatever was to come.
{CONTINUED INTO THE COMMENTS}
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2024.05.13 10:34 buckshot371 moar scriipt

food in anime is... weird
whenever it's on screen, a tremendous amount of focus in animation and detail is put into making it look as delicious and savory as possible, and in general if your anime doesn't make food look tasty enough to plaster on a restaurant menu, then the people will be disappointed and call it low effort. this obsession in the anime industry actually originates from this show named Yoake Mae yori Ruriiro na... erm... this one, which had such terrible looking cabbages they were ridiculed for it and ever since anime as an industry has vowed to never make food look that stupid ever again
and yet funnily enough, despite this seeming obsession with food, it is very rarely used to convey meaning in stories that aren't expressly about cooking. The closest many shows get to having meaning in their food is to use the always hungry anime character trope, where one such character, usually the protagonist, and especially if it's the protagonist of a Shonen battle series, will have a bottomless pit of a stomach and appetite, and loves eating to an almost obsessive degree.
I often view this as a representation of ambition. These characters dream big and always being hungry for more. Never being satisfied enough to not eat more is a great, if basic, representation of their personality. From my understanding in anime history, this particular trope was popularized by goku, and was as a result, present in many other series that started soon after dragonball exploded. 2 of the biggest and most famous examples of characters inheriting this trait are luffy from one piece and naruto from... wait i forgot the name of the show
Using these 2 examples, I think that one show naruto is from is a fair bit worse at incorporating meaning into its food than one piece, and I wanna talk about what the difference is.
in "that show", food is almost never really used to convey anything thematically or inform a character's personality. it feels like naruto only likes to eat a lot because he's the protagonist and that's what's expected of him. Why is choji pudgy? is it anything about his character? no, it's just because he eats choppers rumble balls as a super power and so the auther went "he swallows pills to get strong so he swallow everything else too."
one piece by contrast I feel does a lot more than either dragonball or naruto with food. luffy's cannonical ability to eat as much as he does is explained by his stomach being made of rubber and capable of expanding as he eats, and food directly works it's way into the power system for him, as many of luffy's gear techniques require huge amounts of energy and body fuel and leave him incredibly fatigued. on whole cake island he looks like this after just a single day of intensive combat with no snacking. And this is taking place on aan entire island made of cake and deserts you can eat, a place where it litterally rains syrup instead of water. This is an act of protest to sanji, as sanji is attempting to leave the crew and luffy told him to his face that he would starve to death on purpose unless his next meal was made by sanji. it's an important plot point and character moment for the 2 of them. sanji is a cook and a major part of his backstory involves him being stranded on the ocean with no food and starving for months, only being rescued within an inch of his life. This experience greatly informs his character, being willing to serve anybody who is hungry, even if its his enemy and it would be in his best intrests not to, like when he served don krieg and his pirates knowing full well as soon as they finished eating they would have the body stregnth to follow their plan and slaughter everybody at baratie and steal the ship, which is the major conflict of that arc. he puts several lives in danger, and condemned some to death because to him feeding somebody who is experiencing starvation is more important.
I jokingly called chojis pills the chopper rumble balls, but they really similar, even including massive side effects after eating 3 of them. however the meaning they have to the characters are quite different. choji just happened to be born in a family that uses them, and knows eating the third one means death (even though it really doesnt) and thats his only personal connection to the pill. by contrast, chopper invented his rumble balls himself using his medicinal knowledge as a doctor, and only discovered the third one is dangerous by accidentally eating 3, causing him to lose concious control of his body and turning him into a monster that attacks indescriminately. he's fearful of the third ball not because he'll die, but because he's afraid of what he'll become and afraid he'll hurt innocent bystanders, which is counter to his entire role and character as a doctor
this is not to shit on "whats that shows name", but to say that Food is clearly an important thing to oda, the author of one piece, as it plays a vital role in multiple staw hats personalities, and informs the decisions and situations the characters find themselves participating in, in a show that on the surface has nothing to do with food. it is a testimate to how you can use food to convey meaning and character in your world
but while food is meaningful and important in one piece, it's downright SACRED to golden kamuy. whereas one piece has food a comonplace staple and uses it to convey meaning once ever 20 episodes or so, or ocasionally throughout an entire food based arc like baratie or whole cake island, golden kamuy uses food to convey themes, messaging, character backstories and decisions, power dynamics, violence, connecting characters, foreshadowing major plot points, detecting lies, and more, and it does this on an episodic basis. there are SCARCELY few episodes of golden kamuy with no food or mentions and discussions of food. it is the very lifeblood of the show. it is such a big facet of the show that golden kamuy is often jokingly referred to by its community as a cooking show, and it puts more meaning and care into the food it's characters eat than many actual cooking anime.
food is the most universal languages in the entire world, and a fact of life is that everbody needs to eat. we may not see eye to eye, we may not eat the same thing, but we all eat. what we eat and why can tell us a lot about people, about our cultures and beliefs. islamic and jewish people don't eat pork, and hindu don't eat beef due to their religious beliefs. vegans care for animals and don't feel that they can personally participate in the consumption of living things. vegans that also try to make their dog or cats vegan are animal abusers who just do it to feel superior to others. what you eat can say a lot about where you're from. american cuisine looks far different than russian or scottish cuisine, which looks far different than african cuisine. ox penis is something ocasinally eaten in china, and pufferfish in japan. whale skin and blubber were eaten by the various inuit people, along with most every other part of the whale, due to availability. the land we live on can dictate what we eat in a very real way. most places with strong cultural beliefs against eating certain foods have a lot more variety in edible resources than other places. many hindu people refuse to eat beef or are straight vegetarians, and they mostly live in places where other types of food are easy to come by. by contrast, you would be hard pressed to find a vegetarian inuit, simply because that's not sustainable where they live, and their beliefs reflect that. cultures that historically had less food available to them are strongly abhorrent to letting any part of their food go to waste, and many indigenous people historically see using as much as humanly possible from the animals you hunt as a necessary part of honoring and thanking that animal, and not letting anything go to waste.
food is the most universal language, and it might just be the most meaningful one as well. offering someone food as a form of thanks is a lot more meaningful than just saying thanks for example. it's a way we connect to people, and is why most first dates are at restaurants. it's even a language that can transcend species. we train animals by offering food as rewards, and pets are often most attached to the person who feeds them. food is one of the most important aspects of who we are as people, and nobody writing fiction seems to understand this more satoru noda, the creator of golden kamuy... him and ryoko kui, the creator of dungeon meshi, but as much as I love that manga thats not what today's video is about.
I'll be focusing on the anime in this video, so meals that only happen in the manga or that happen after the current point the anime is at will not be talked about here. Truth be told, I don't really know where this script is going as I'm writing it, I just want to talk about many of the various ways that golden kamuy uses food, because I think it's something a lot of shows can learn from.
food is first brought up or used in golden kamuy as early as... oh would you look at that the very first line in the entire show! golden kamuy starts off in a flashack during the russo-japanese war on 208 meter hill. the very first interaction with any character in the series is sugimoto in the trenches eating an ant off his finger and commenting it tastes sour. he then comments that he would eat the russians he kills if thats what it took to survive. this establishes in only a few seconds that the living conditions in the trench are terrible, people are hungry, and that sugimoto is a survivalist, but didn't consider desertion, instead of you know... canibalism. this is all before the charge up the hill, before we learn he's a monster in close quarters and is nicknamed sugimoto the immortal. that's a LOT of information given in just a couple lines using an ant. we know sugimoto proably wasn't seroius about eating people, but are almost given the impression throughout the scene that if push came to shove he would do it. sugimoto is a person who does whatever it takes to survive. this is one of his most central character traits and is conveyed using food in a matter of seconds within the start of the show.
soon ashirpa is introduced, a young ainu hunter and joins sugimoto as they begin a quest to... uh... skin people for the purposes of making a treasure map... look golen kamuy is a weird show okay?
ashirpa and sugimoto are the 2 primary leads of the show, and neither of them are particularly familar with the cultures of the other, but they grow closer and bond over the course of the show and learn about each others lives and backgrounds. this is shown throughout the show by the meals they eat. when they kill a bear that was hunting them in episode 1, ashirpa comments that although the ainu to hunt and eat bears, she can't eat the bear they killed, as eating a wenkamuy: a bear that's eaten people before, is against her people's beliefs. so it's not until episode 2 that the pair share the first meals on their journey. they make chitatap, an ainu dish of raw meat that is meant to be made only using fresh kills, and ashirpa offers sugimoto the brains of the squirrel they hunted raw on a spoon as a snack for him to try. sugimoto is naturally at first repullsed by the idea, but after being preassured by ashirpa and not wanting to offend her he eats it, and reluctantly admits it's good. It's not clear in this scene whether he actually thinks it's good or if he's placating ashirpa, but it's definetely clear he still finds at least the concept of eating a brain gross. he also eats the chitatap and likes it, but believes it would taste even better by adding miso to it, and this time it's ashirpa who looks upon in disgust as she see's an unfamiliar japanese paste she insist's must be poop is willingly added to his portion of the meal. she even refuses to try it upon being presented with some, denying the same courtosey that sugimoto showed by eating brains just earlier. this is changed by their meal in meal a few episodes later when she tries miso at the insistence of both sugimoto and their new traveling companion shiraishi, and much like sugimoto admits it's good, even if it still visualy repulses her. from this point on, the characters share and mix both of their cultures into the food they eat and slowly become more used, accepting, and eventually enjoying each others cuisine, something shown with some hilarious screenshots. this mirrors of course their growing trust in each other. we don't need to be told that these 3 characters are closer when we can see it visually by sugimoto passionately sucking on a giant eyeball, or drunkenly babybirding shiraishi chewed dumpling, or ashirpa developing an obsessoin with miso and also wanting to try dried persimons because sutimotos favorite food and... fuck im getting emotional thinking about that scene again. I talked about it more extensively in my anti-war video on golden kamuy, so go watch that. but its so clear and disturbingly beautiful how much these characters have grown to care for each other by viewing their eating habits.
chitatap, the first meal they properly shared, becomes used repetedly throughout the show as a way to meet new people and intermingle characters, because it'a a dish meant to be prepared by everyone eating it together by taking turns chopping the meat, and we get to learn about every character by how they interact with the process of making chitatap, such as hijikata being cool with using his historial treasure of a katana, one of the few relics of his samurai days, to chop up raw meat because because a little kid thougt it would be cool and fun, or how ogata thinks he's too cool for school to chant chitatap while he cuts like everyone else, but the second time they make the meal he says it once just loud enough for ashirpa to hear.
meals have also been used to foreshadow events in golden kamuy, like when kioranke's betrayal is foreshadowed in this meal immitating the final supper. kioranke is in the seat and position judas in, and yes those are human corpses that have been turned into mannequins at the dinnertable, why do you ask?
on the topic of kiorankes betralal, after sugimoto is shot in the head and believed by ashirpa and half the characters to be dead, the fun joyous meals stop temporarily in the show. ashirpa is still eating and still enjoying hunting and trying new food, she's still ashirpa, but for the first couple of meals, the animals the capture reportedly don't taste good, such as this seal thing and musk deer. the only meal we were told as good was a snack made by someone else and eaten off screen. it's only after kioranke tells ashirpa that musk deer was her father's first kill and she finds a new purpose in the journey to learn more about her father and the karafuto indiginous that she begins to eat good food again.
food can be a tool in storytelling to display dynamics between characters. this is often in shown as a differentiating factor between the wealthy and poor, such as in the hunger games, but that's not the only dynamic that can be shown through this. to use lt tsurumi as an example, his second major scene where we learn about him as a character is a conversation with sugimoto after sugimoto has been captured by the 7th division. during this scene, sugimoto is handcuffed and sitting straight in his chair with 2 armed gurads while tsurumi casually questions him while eating dango on a stick, offering nothing for the captive to eat, representing a power dynamic showing which of them is in charge. tsurumi eats the dango throughout the scene, and the way he eats it is somehow offputting, and animated in such a way where you know there is something about him that just isn't right. I never thought eating dango could be intimidating, but here we are. I am terrified of this man. sugimoto does actually get to interact with the dango in this scene too, so we can contrasst it with how tsurumi did it to learn something... how did sugimoto get to interact with the dango again?
oh right, he gets STABBED THROUGH BOTH CHEECKS BY THE DANGO STICK by tsurumi as soon as he declines he gets caught in a lie. it's clear at this moment that the niceties and fun in games are over. tsurumi caught sugimoto in a lie about his identity, and the gloves are off.
food can also be used to show a sickness of the mind. ogata, who could be the topic of a whole nother video, has a hatred of monkfish stew. this is one of the only emotinal connections he has been shown to have food, and was born from his parents. ogata is the son of a high ranking military official and a geisha. ashamed of the mothers side of the family, the father forced them to leave and never make contact again while ogata was still a young child. over time, his mother lost her mind and began to only make monkfish stew to eat. it was his fathers favorite meal, and in her sickened mind she convinced herself that if she made it than one day the father would come back. she made it day after day after day. ogata picked up shooting and would kill ducks and birds to bring to his mother so he could eat something else and she would still only make monkfish stew. one day he put rat poison in the stew and killed his mother. ogata isn't right in the head either, he's a psychopath. he didn't kill his mother out of hatred of her food, but out of simple curiorsity to see if his father would care to show up at the funeral. he didn't.
monkfish stew here is used in golden kamuy as a representation of stagnation of the mind. denial that things will never go back to the way they were for the mother. it represents an insanity, doing the same thing over and over without change in hopes for a different outcome.
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2024.05.12 19:20 EJC28 Packers 2024 Draft Analysis Compilation

Round 1, Pick 25 - Jordan Morgan, OT, Arizona:
NFL: This pick reflects the sheer depth of this offensive tackle class. Morgan is an experienced player who will help protect Jordan Love and allow him to flourish in the pocket.
CBS Sports: C+. I might have taken Graham Barton here, but they need help up front so I get it. Morgan can move inside to guard but if they move right tackle Zach Tom to center, he would be their right tackle.
ESPN: If you're going to make Jordan Love one of the highest-paid quarterbacks in the league, which they will soon, you better make sure you can protect him. That's why taking an offensive lineman in the first round for the first time in 13 years made so much sense -- even though Morgan was the seventh tackle to come off the board in the first 25 picks. The only real blemish on Morgan's resume was a torn ACL late in the 2022 season. He had planned to declare for the 2023 draft if not for the injury. Instead, he returned to play in every game last season
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Cried like a baby at the end of Ted Lasso.
Round 2, Pick 45 - Edgerrin Cooper, LB, Texas A&M:
NFL: Green Bay slid back and drafted a top-40 talent on my board in Cooper. He's the classic mold of what this Packers scouting staff seeks in a linebacker, possessing excellent speed, length and pursuit ability. There's a starting spot opposite Quay Walker, and I think Cooper will grab it, but both those players can play a little too freely and loosely at times.
CBS Sports: B+. Young, high-energy off-ball ‘backer. Plus range. Loves attacking downhill and very effective vs. the run. Flashed in coverage too with ball skills. But tackle reliability must improve at next level. Ultra-quick trigger. IDs plays in a flash. Some rawness but plenty of tantalizing traits.
ESPN: This pick was tailor-made for new defensive coordinator Jeff Hafley, who is overseeing a switch from a 3-4 to a 4-3 base scheme. He inherited only two starting-caliber inside backers in Quay Walker and Isaiah McDuffie after they released former All-Pro De’Vondre Campbell this offseason. This pick came after the Packers traded back from No. 41 overall with the Saints, who gave up Nos. 45, 168 (fifth round) and 190 (sixth). This after the Eagles traded up to No. 40 to take Iowa defensive back Cooper DeJean, a player once thought to be a Packers' target. The Saints then took cornerback Kool-Aid McKinstry with the 41st pick.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Can spot the four cloud types: cirrus, cumulus, stratus, and nimbus.
Round 2, Pick 58 - Javon Bullard, S, Georgia:
NFL: The Eagles might lead the NFL in drafting Georgia defenders, but the Packers have been giving them a run for their money in recent years. Bullard fills a need at safety, and he brings the kinds of intangibles this scouting department places a premium on. He can play out of control at times and isn't a tremendous athlete, but Bullard is an intense competitor who can play multiple spots in the secondary and be a four-down player.
CBS Sports: A-. Hair-on-fire stocky safety who can align at nickel CB if needed. Takes great angles against the run and plays with reckless abandon. Runs the alley like a missile. Rarely misses a tackle. Not crazy ball hawk. Smaller with shorter arms. Just a stud football player.
ESPN: After this pick, it's fair to say Gutekunst addressed three of his biggest needs -- tackle, inside linebacker and now safety. Perhaps only cornerback would rank on the same level of need. They're essentially starting over at safety, having moved on from Darnell Savage, Jonathan Owens and Rudy Ford. They spent big on free agent Xavier McKinney, but the only other safety with any experience still on the roster was Anthony Johnson Jr., a seventh-round pick last year who played 303 defensive snaps as a rookie. "Obviously the tackle board was stacked, so we addressed that," assistant director of college scouting Pat Moore said. "Then I think Gutey took the best player available at those spots [ILB and safety]."
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Has been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty.
Round 3, Pick 88 - MarShawn Lloyd, RB, USC:
NFL: This could be Aaron Jones' replacement, even if the Packers added Josh Jacobs this offseason. Lloyd's messy medical history likely was the biggest reason he fell behind some other backs, but his burst, three-down ability and make-you-miss agility make him sort of a poor man's D'Andre Swift.
CBS Sports: A. Older but ultra-sudden thick RB with glimpses of special elusiveness. Speed is a plus to his game. Has a lot of tread left on his tires because he was low-volume back in college. Fumbling issues. Perfect speed acquisition to this stretch-run offense.
ESPN: Yes, Josh Jacobs signed a four-year, $48 million contract in free agency, but the reality of his contract says he's just going year to year. For example, he has a $5.93 million roster bonus due next March if he's still on the team. A year later, his 2025 base salary spikes to $10.2 million. This isn't to say Jacobs will be a one-and-done, but the point is they could move on and save money at any time after this season if they think Lloyd is ready to be the RB1. After letting Aaron Jones go, the Packers have rebuilt their running back room in a hurry.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: He may or may not be allowed to own gerbils anymore…
Round 3, Pick 91 - Ty’Ron Hopper, LB, Missouri:
NFL: Hopper wasn't quite as productive last season for Mizzou as he was in 2022, looking a step slow a number of times. Injuries were a big reason why, and Hopper's pro day workout likely was the difference in him landing in Round 3 and not on Day 3. He has pass-rush potential and can drop in zone coverage.
CBS Sports: C+. Ultra-physical off-ball LB. Sleek, exudes athleticism and makes assertive decisions on a routine basis, particularly against the run or blitzer, where he also thrives. Best in that role or as a spy. Long way to go in coverage. Another linebacker?
ESPN: This is what happens when you switch from a 3-4 to a 4-3 defensive scheme. In fact, Gutekunst didn't hide the fact that he would have to add to the inside linebacker room when, earlier this offseason, he said they will "be a little bit more heavy there, so we're going to have to add some numbers." So drafting Hopper in the third round after taking Cooper in the second round shouldn't have come as a major surprise. Hafley now has some options when it comes to deciding who will line up next to Walker at inside linebacker.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Insists that his pocket sand WILL come in handy one day.
Round 4, Pick 111 - Evan Williams, S, Oregon:
NFL: Williams grew on me as the pre-draft process went on. He might not be special in any way, but he's extremely solid and assignment-sound. He might never be a big playmaker, but Williams can hit and will work to earn some kind of role.
CBS Sports: B-. Not a tremendous athlete but does everything well that teams ask out of a multi-dimensional safety today. Keeps throttle down when flying to outside runs, will make an occasional play in coverage. Not a twitchy nickel type. Best in box or robbing middle of the field. Energy exudes from his playing style. Just not a big-time physical specimen.
ESPN: Gutekunst has never been afraid to double up at a position. He's now done it twice in the first four rounds after taking the two inside linebackers on Friday. He traded up to take his second safety, giving up a sixth-rounder (No. 190 overall, that they got from the Saints a day earlier) to move up from No. 126. There will be an all-out competition for the second safety spot next to Xavier McKinney among Johnson Jr., Bullard and Williams -- who posted some impressive blitzing numbers with 4.5 sacks last season (third-most among FBS defensive backs) and 17 quarterback pressures since the start of 2022 (tied for 10th most among FBS DBs).
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Hopes to be the 111th best player like his idol, Tom Brady.
Round 5, Pick 163 - Jacob Monk, C, Duke:
NFL: Monk played center, guard and tackle over five seasons with the Blue Devils but likely projects to center in the NFL. He's smart and competitive and has above-average athleticism in a smaller frame.
CBS Sports: A-. Hyper-experienced, legitimately versatile blocker who probably plays center or guard at the next level. Athleticism and acceleration off the snap instantly stand out. Doesn’t have immense size or length but can win with quickness or power against smaller upfield rushers. Classic Packers pick. He’ll be a useful depth option for a while.
ESPN: Gutekunst said after taking Morgan in the first round: "You can't have guys that can only play one spot. That's very hard to do. It just puts a lot of stress on your group." Monk embodies that versatility. He began his five-year college career -- which included 58 starts -- at right tackle, moved to right guard for two years and has gone back and forth between center and right guard the last two years. He was one of only seven FBS players with at least 300 snaps at both center and guard last season. Gutekunst traded up five spots with the Buffalo Bills and gave up a sixth-round pick (No. 219 overall).
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Was once attacked by someone’s pet opossum in a Walmart.
Round 5, Pick 169 - Kitan Oladapo, S, Oregon State:
NFL: Oladapo is a nicely proportioned athlete with outstanding length and enough athleticism to be tried as a safety or even a zone corner. He's a bit older but can make his mark at multiple spots because of his willingness to tackle.
CBS Sports: A. Very similar to Jaden Hicks who went a round earlier. Large, strong safety body type but fluid and instinctive in coverage. Could play with a tick more energy but his methodical style keeps him out of trouble re: missing tackles or being baited by misdirection. Huge interception radius. Speed is good, not great. Sound tackler.
ESPN: This should complete the overhaul at safety after the Packers signed Xavier McKinney in free agency and picked two other safeties (Bullard in Round 2 and Williams in Round 4) previously in this draft. The Packers moved on from three safeties who each played at least 500 snaps last season (Darnell Savage, Jonathan Owens and Rudy Ford). After starting his career as a walk-on, Oladapo earned second-team All-Pac 12 honors in 2023 when he did not allow a single touchdown pass in 421 coverage snaps.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Is convinced he could pilot a submarine if he had to.
Round 6, Pick 202 - Travis Glover, OT, Georgia State:
NFL: Glover is a typecast developmental OT prospect with so-so movement skills but ideal length and grip strength. He flashed some real finishing ability, albeit vs. a lower level of competition.
CBS Sports: B+. Wide offensive tackle with the frame of a guard but plenty of length. Smooth athleticism for his size and loves to mash at the second level. Balance is good but can get a little overzealous in pass pro. Hand work and punch timing are solid. Another classic Packers pick. Versatile.
ESPN: Stop if you've heard this before: the Packers took another versatile lineman who has lined up at multiple positions. Glover played both tackle spots and left guard in college. He's considered to have a high upside considering his 6-foot-6, 323-pound frame.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Discovered the reddit mods did not spell check the true facts.
Round 7, Pick 245 - Michael Pratt, QB, Tulane:
NFL: If it's me, I am drafting Pratt before both Jordan Travis and Devin Leary, and the Packers aren't afraid to keep investing in QB talents. From the Green Wave to Green Bay, Pratt is good enough to push Sean Clifford to the side and become Jordan Love's understudy -- perhaps as soon as this year -- with his cool, calm, patient approach and quality accuracy.
CBS Sports: B+. Experienced pocket passer with quality arm who was consistent producer at Tulane across multiple seasons. Lights were never too bright for him. Has some improvisational flair to his game. Just not ultra accurate.
ESPN: Gutekunst said he wanted the Packers to get back into the business of drafting and developing (and then possibly trading) quarterbacks. He's now taken one on Day 3 for the second straight year after picking Sean Clifford in the fifth round last year. Clifford served as Love's backup last season, but it appears he'll have to battle for the job again. Pratt, a four-year starter at Tulane and the 11th quarterback selected this year, went 21-3 as a starter the last two seasons.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Brushes his teeth at least ten times a day.
Round 7, Pick 255 - Kalen King, CB, Penn State:
NFL: You can find King's name scattered in some August mock drafts, but his stock continually tumbled after he struggled to match his 2022 performance, didn't test well athletically for his size and lost some Senior Bowl battles. But in the seventh round? King is well worth the small gamble here.
CBS Sports: B+. Previously had RD1 hype but had a disastrous 2023. Athletic chops are there. Has impressive highs just not a natural mirroring type. Plays chippy and throws his weight around against the run.
ESPN: Going into the draft, there was some thought that the Packers could take a corner early -- even as high as the first round. Instead, they waited until their final pick to take one. They seemed to hit on seventh-round cornerback Carrington Valentine last year. King played 84% of his snaps on the outside, splitting it about evenly between the right and left sides.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: If you’re still watching, please get some help.
submitted by EJC28 to GreenBayPackers [link] [comments]


2024.05.12 16:15 PoisonedWhispers [Part 3] A critique of 4THOT’s two subreddit bans upon myself; and some remarks on Litmus tests.

Edit: o7
Responding via edits is silly. Standard hyperbolic response, as I mentioned below. But I gotta address two things just so y'all aware that I can offer a rebuttal if need be. 4THOT says:
Here's the full interview with the UN Rapporteur on Violence against Women claiming she isn't aware of the rocket attacks - https://www.linkedin.com/posts/bar-shemur-8b1bb23b_the-un-rapporteur-on-violence-against-women-activity-7171212859895459841-gq6B
I don't know why he's attempting to "find" the "full interview". The linkedin video he has given here is literally the exact same video I gave in my comment. Click the hyperlink saying "the lengthier clip." They're both posted by the interviewer, Bar Shem-Ur. Mate, did you even read my original comment? If you scroll down this page (part 3), you can see I say "the segment that aired on Hazinor, Channel 13 is exactly the same." I searched for where the footage originally aired and found no additional material. 4THOT, mate, the "clip-chimp" is this 30s clip the Jerusalem Post originally posted. When I say "lengthier" clip, I am talking about the 5min segment that you had to "find" despite the fact that I already found it.
nvm this dipshit didn't find the actual interview, this is a cut from twitter
Once again, the video from Twitter I provided is the exact same video as the linkedin one. There is no entire, unedited full interview anywhere without the tiktok rapid cuts. There might be more footage out there, who knows, I've literally never claimed to have found the "full" interview. I called it a clip compilation because I don't know if more footage exits. Another baffling response. Anyways, I'll leave the rest, this is not the way to have a back-and-forth. Toodles! XD
Edit 2: Just to clarify what I was attempting to do in my comment, 4THOT still has not directly answered this question from part 3, the main post:
Do you think Alsalem holds the position that Hamas or Hezbollah have never fired rockets against Israel?
I honestly don't remember the last time I saw someone claim that Hamas has never fired rockets against Israel; this would be an astronomically fringe position. If you read the headline of the JP alone, and maybe even the article, you can still come away with the conclusion that Alsalem believes that Hamas has never fired rockets against Israel. I gave evidence of the fact that some people came away with this conclusion in the redacted comment:
Because if they've lived their entire lives unaware of the rocket attacks,
I don't believe that to be true; Alsalem has not lived her entire life unaware of the rocket attacks. We need more evidence to establish that then this interview.
Notice how I have actually quoted 4THOT verbatim down below? But for some reason, I need to provide a "direct link" to it, even though you can see it if you just scroll down the page? Baffling, like I said. "Isn't that interesting?" You're quoted verbatim mate! What do you think is "interesting" here?
4THOT you are killing me:
Here's the actual thread where you were banned.
You do realize that I've linked the thread I was banned twice? A third time as well if you want to include the moment where I linked someone else's comment in that thread. Unbelievable.
I never said the headline is "incorrect" these are the actual words I used in my direct appeal:
If the headline is poor, I might present information in the comments in order to ensure that the criticism is well-directed.
I believe that the headline could lead to a misinterpretation. I was later proven to be correct. I provided evidence of that misinterpretation in the direct appeal. And 4THOT refuses to engage with any of it. Again, these edits reply are so silly. I have no idea why he's so reluctant to have an actual exchange, but judging by how he's already responded, I get it mate. Finito once more. I gotta go get some cheese balls...

The Short Version can be found here.

Part 1 here. Part 2 here.

The Beekeeper. Bzzt:

Ah, I'm so fucked. 💀

Challenges...

This part is going to be an interesting challenge. I would say I’m walking a tightrope here, but that metaphor implies that there’s some slim chance where one can write a section like this and not get banned, um, again (and again?). The original plan was something a bit more comprehensive, where alongside another matter, I would make the case that there have been a number of pro-Palestine users that have correctly addressed misinformation on this sub, where they do a decent job of breaking circlejerks, adding some sordid nuance to threads that otherwise would have devolved into the ones laid out in Part 1 and Part 2. These users will, inevitably, have an “interaction” with 4THOT at some point; they will subsequently be banned on justifications that I obviously believe are nonsensical, where said justifications are also exhibited by 4THOT, whether in that exchange itself or in other threads; and these users are not interested in returning to the sub.
I abandoned this plan for a long litany of reasons; there’s two in particular I’ll highlight here: (1) I don't believe I can achieve the effects I desire; and (2) I'm keen to avoid any accusations of this section being some “hit-piece” or “hate-post.”
I do not intend to present arguments against any other aspect of moderation that I might find to be problematic; I do not intend to make comments on character. I am simply razor-focused on one aspect of moderation here, and one aspect of the unbanning process.

...and Goals

This part will attempt to try and have my other goal — which is shared by many other users in this sub — come into fruition: I believe users should be able to participate in this sub without needing to take into consideration what 4THOT’s personal views are on a matter.
The only things a user should be cognizant of is what are Reddit's site wide rules, including those specific to this sub; what are the subreddit rules; and what are Destiny's desires in terms of what comments and submissions are allowed here. I also believe subreddit rule 6 (rule 5 on new reddit) needs to be amended to remove the arbitrariness.
If a user comes away with a different interpretation of events than 4THOT does, and said user doesn't exhibit any other behaviour in their comment or submission that violates those stated parameters, then that user ought not to be banned.
If 4THOT’s personal opinion is something that we need to be mindful of — and Destiny approves of this notion, agreeing that opinions 4THOT alone finds to be beyond the pale warrants an immediate ban — then, unironically, that stipulation should be added to the subreddit rules.
Furthermore, as mentioned in the TL;DR, I am requesting clarification on if there’s any procedure by which you can get unbanned when 4THOT sets a condition on the unban — and whether or not he should be setting conditions on the ban. 4THOT has mentioned that "Ninou has orders to not unban certain [regards.]"
As it stands, it’s not clear if Destiny approves of this behaviour. I say this because I have not seen him comment on this aspect of moderation when it comes to the subreddit. If he already disapproves of this behaviour, then I would request that this sentiment be conveyed to 4THOT, which should hopefully reduce the likelihood this reoccurs in the future.
I'm asking that Destiny clarify here because then it's something that can be clipped, and moderators here can use that clip when, well, moderating.
One final point before I critique the bans. There’s a noticeable difference between this section on 4THOT, and his um, passionate challenge to Kelly Jean: she’s easy to avoid. Just close the stream mate! Whereas 4THOT has control over who can participate in this subreddit, Kelly Jean can't dictate who can and can't appear on stream. Mashallah. 🙏 Thus, I feel this submission has justification.

The Bullet: A Forlorn Attempt for Consistency

The second ban is infinitely more interesting, but I’ll briefly address the first 30-day ban. I am not here to relitigate this discourse. The post in question that led to the infraction was removed, but it's still available if you’re a moderator, and I won't be reposting it here. The gist of the post was a question on whether or not we should be banning people for misinformation, referencing a user who received a 90-day ban from 4THOT for posting a misquote from a mainstream Israeli news outlet, during a live translation of a speech Netanyahu was giving. I’m pretty sure 4THOT knows who i24News are, so I couldn't quite follow his thought process here.
Moreover, if you’ve gone through the examples above, then you can easily imagine my bafflement here as well, particularly because a couple days earlier a Twitter clip was posted of an individual clearly misspeaking.
The user who submitted this post was only banned for 10 days — despite doubling down on this not being a misspeak — and I was bemused by the inconsistency being applied here. Being completely consistent in terms of my own principles, I mentioned in my post that I don’t think either of them should be banned, but if this is the standard that is going to be maintained, then it would only be reasonable that some level of leniency is given if you happen to inadvertently post misinformation from a reputable news outlet.
Regarding the Netanyahu misquote, I am in full agreement with 4THOT that it is a misquote, but it is regrettable that, well, some chose to challenge him on this front, arguing that the corrected quote is functionally the same, or worse. Take note of how civil his interlocutor here is up until the point 4THOT used an insult; unwisely, his interlocutor chose to match tone. I’m only mentioning this because, despite the insults 4THOT might use against me, I have no interest in engaging in a similar style of rhetoric as I don't find it to be conducive to a productive conversation, and I’m hoping I don't have to deal with a level of vitriol here that users are sometimes not allowed to match — not that I have any interest in doing so. There’s a couple tame jokes in this post, but hopefully I don’t get a response like this:
Thank fucking God that guy died because he'd absolutely kill himself by biting off his own tongue to choke on his own blood if he ever read the obese shithead redditors backseating one of the most extreme acts of political protest any human being can ever do.
HE INTENDED TO DIE NIGHTMARISHLY YOU IDIOT THAT WAS THE POINT
Frisco, you got cooked mate 😭.

A Guardian Angel?

Now, after I was banned, another user made a post about the ban upon myself, which generated a fair amount of interest, you fucking drama frogs. Here, I simply wish to make four remarks:
  • I'm sure you can see how different in tone, rhetoric, and substance OP’s post is compared to my original post (for those of you that remember reading it), and compared to this post. There are a number of insults that are frequently used against 4THOT which I don’t use as I’m looking for good-faith engagement from him. That being said, I appreciate the fact that OP wasn’t looking for a meaningful, productive exchange with 4THOT here, and thus they didn’t feel the need to temper their rhetoric.
  • In the pinned comment, 4THOT uses a fair amount of hyperbole. The original post was very benign, and didn’t come anywhere close to conveying a sentiment that “this Reddit is ruined” or “4THOT is literally the IDF.” I don’t see how you can come away with this reading considering how mild the post was.
  • Once more, I am not here to relitigate this, but I would have loved to address some of the criticism levelled against myself in the comments under OP’s post; I certainly wasn’t going to re-open those conversations a month later. That being said, I appreciate users like Wannabe_Sadboi for making the arguments that I, more or less, would have made had I had the opportunity to immediately respond. Just to quote one of their comments: “People shouldn’t be banned for being partisan, they should be banned only for breaking rules, and Splemndid didn’t break any rules.” But, apparently, there are rules being broken here, and it is not clear what these rules are, and whether or not Destiny approves of them.
  • If the original post was problematic because it was too indirect, then hopefully this post which is significantly more direct — but kept well under the threshold of something that could be constituted as a “hate-post” — should not be a problem.

Chilling Effect. Brrr 🥶

When I was hit with the 30 day ban, I sent a direct appeal hoping the length of the ban would at least be reduced, which didn't receive a response, and neither did sending an unban request via the unban request form. No biggie. At least with a temporary ban I know when to expect to be unbanned.
After the 30 day ban, I decided to give up doing two things: (1) making attempts to get other users unbanned when I felt the justifications were not cogent or fair; and (2) participating in I-P threads that 4THOT himself had already made comments within — in particular, those where he was actively arguing with other users on the subreddit. This is a bad chilling effect; even if I see a comment they have made where they’ve made a false claim, or I disagree with their analysis or moral claims, I’m choosing not to engage because I'd rather not go through yet another cycle of bans. I value shitposting in the subreddit more than having arguments with 4THOT.
Moreover, I’m also not interested in getting caught in the crossfire when, upon finishing his Reddit debate, he bans his interlocutor from the subreddit, and also those who have made similar comments to the one his interlocutor has espoused elsewhere in the thread. He does not always do this, and I would literally never make the claim that he just “ban everyone that disagrees with [him]”. I won’t call this hyperbole as I’m sure someone has levelled this incorrect accusation against him. 4THOT is capable — and has demonstrated on myriad occasions — of being able to have dispassionate disagreements. The issue is that I’m not interested in rolling the dice here with another ban.
Thus, I decided to avoid 4THOT entirely while participating in the sub as normal, making the usual shitposts. (Y’all are welcome for the template, btw. I went frame by frame, looking for the shot of Destiny at his most euphoric.) Alas, woe is me, I made a fatal error: I can’t avoid 4THOT if I choose to comment in a thread first. Browsing new, the bane of my existence, Hobbitfollower you dastardly devil.

The Nuke: A Muddled Statement and Different Interpretations

In the trenches of new, I came across a submission which posted this version of a Jerusalem Post article. If you've read The Six Points, then you can see what I'm attempting to do in my comment, that was apparently egregious enough to warrant banning me “until Israel/Palestine is over.” Before I go over this, I’m going to once again link the comment I made on this subreddit defending Israel from the accusation that they have been siding with ISIS for years.
Consistency
I apply the exact same methodology when dispelling conspiracy theories on Israel as I do for the UN official whose comments are the subject of the post. I’m digging up the relevant primary sources; I’m searching for archived versions of articles posted on inactive websites; I’m reading multiple articles from different Israeli outlets reporting on the same speech; and I’m reading the entire transcript of the nearly hour-long speech by the head of the Israeli Military Intelligence at the time, Herzi Halevi, just so I can make an informed comment here. At no point am I ever concerned that I could be banned for this comment. I can freely talk about anti-Israel propaganda, and I know no moderator is going to bat an eye at that.
I recently watched a Hasan video because dgg taught me the art of hate-watching, and now I hate-watch dgg while they hate-watch Hasan. Early on in the video, an article headline by the Intercept is shown: “Leaked Cables Show White House Opposes Palestinian Statehood.” Ken Klippenstein appears in the byline, which immediately sets off a red flag for me because I’ve found reporting by him in the past to be absolutely dreadful, including the time when he used to work for the Grayzone, where he gave Seymour Hersh a softball interview, and allowed him to spread risible conspiracy theories. The Intercept article shown in Hasan’s video doesn't provide the cables they are reporting on, but they are available on Ken’s substack. Without going on a tangent, unsurprisingly, the Intercept’s piece on these cables misrepresents them (IMO).
Similarly, when I had a discussion with a tankie on another subreddit on whether or not the 2010 Australian Labor Party leadership spill was “a US-backed coup”, I once again seeked out all the relevant and many Wikileaks cables, read them all, and made my own assessment.
Dolls
Enough examples! You get the idea! I have a consistent principle that I am applying here. Upon opening up the JP article OP submitted, I see Danielle Greyman-Kennard in the byline. This is a person who previously wrote an article claiming that a dead Palestinian baby was a doll (which is not the first or last time this has happened in general; Pallywood amirite?). When it was brought to her attention that this is a body going through rigor mortis, she doubled-down in a patronising tweet.
Eventually, someone at the JP realized the fuck-up, and the article was retracted. There are a number of journalists and writers for Israeli outlets that seek to publish or tweet out any information that casts pro-Palestine organisations or individuals in a bad light — and that’s fine. If you’re pro-Palestine, and you’re saying or doing some dumb shit, that’s on you, not the individual that wants to report on it. However, there are biases at play here, where one must be cognizant of how these biases can filter down into how information is presented.

Direct Appeal

The following is the direct appeal I sent when I was banned which will serve as a clarification on the comment:
What up, I initially disagreed with your assessment, but upon re-reading it, now I'm unsure what our disagreement is, and what you think I was trying to address in my comment. Hopefully, the following will serve as clarification.
When I opened up the submission, I read the headline, I read the article, I watched the clip contained within, and then I sought out any additional footage from the interview that was readily available. The safe assumption I make when it comes to article submissions on reddit is that folk are generally not going to read the article, and will likely only comment based on the headline. If the headline is poor, I might present information in the comments in order to ensure that the criticism is well-directed. The headline of the Jerusalem Post article is:
UN Special Rapporteur 'unaware' of rocket attacks on Israel
If you asked the average person what they thought this headline meant, they would think the UNSR thought there had been no rocket attacks launched against Israel ever or since the start of the war. As evidence that some came away with this conclusion, you can read [redacted link] here posted on [redacted subreddit] (emphasis mine):
This can't be real right? This is a fake article right? Or a satire piece? Because if they've lived their entire lives unaware of the rocket attacks, then they have no right having anything to do with the global politics or whatever it is the UN does. That's just insane.
In other words, this individual is in disbelief, and they're astonished that Reem Alsalem, the UNSR, is completely unaware of any rocket/missile attacks that have been fired against Israel ever. Here I hope we can acknowledge two things: (1) Alsalem does believe there have been missile attacks against Israel at various points in time; and (2) most pro-Hamas sycophants aren't going to deny these missile attacks have taken place -- they want these attacks to take place. Alternatively, they might seek to diminish the destructive capability of these attacks, or assert that it is Israel's fault these attacks are occurring. It's pretty rare to come across someone claiming they've never happened, period.
My comment was made to highlight that she was really caught up in the frequency of the attacks and how she was possibly misinterpreting the question. Reem Alsalem has a wide litany of dumb beliefs that you can criticize her on; in this case, I thought the criticism would be better directed for being unaware of the frequency of attacks. The JP itself does include a line that would have better served as a headline:
[UN Special Rapporteur] unaware of the frequent rocket attacks made by Hamas and Hezbollah against Israel.
As mentioned, I was trying to ensure that commenters didn't make comments like the one I linked. Re-reading my own comment, it could have been phrased better to make sure that those who read it understood my intentions.
Further comments
The rest of the direct appeal consisted of me clearing up any misconceptions that I might be pro-Hamas, providing various links of comments that demonstrate what my beliefs are. This my attempt to "pass the litmus test" as I don't believe I'm being engaged on the merits of my argument.
Once again, as I’ve hopefully established by now, we know there can be a widespread reluctance here to sometimes read past the headline and open the article, and even the article itself might not have sufficient context to truly parse what is being said. At the time, the only additional footage available from the interview was the five minute, heavily edited clip compilation available on the interviewer’s Twitter. It is just… irritating to watch. Partly because, as I said, I have to suffer through listening to Alsalem’s asinine beliefs, but also because it’s so chopped up that I can't quite tell what’s been cut out, what statements are directly following from which questions, and so on.
Other users also had interpretations of their own to give, taking note of the fact that there may be an edit after she says "but". I actually don’t think there was anything additional said, and it’s just awkwardly edited. However, unlike with Herzi Halevi’s speech, I and everyone else watching these clips are working with scraps here, and the segment that aired on Hazinor, Channel 13 is exactly the same. There is ambiguity here; an amorphous, nebulous, incoherent jumble of statements where one can make a range of interpretations — but one of those interpretations was not permissible on the subreddit. My own of course.
I’m still baffled as to what 4THOT’s contention here is. He comments:
!cleanse nvm you're an idiot. She says she has seen "attacks" but does not specify from where or whom or when. When he specifically asks if she's seen rocket attacks that have been reported from the north from Hezbollah and South from Hamas without "every single day" and is asked about rocket attacks from those areas says she hasn't seen it.
I presume the position he holds here is that Alsalem is being sly: when she says that she has seen attacks, she is actually referring to Israeli attacks, not Hamas or Hezbollah. For further clarity, I would have asked 4THOT:
  • Do you think Alsalem holds the position that Hamas or Hezbollah have never fired rockets against Israel?
  • If no, do you think Alsalem holds the position that Hamas or Hezbollah have never fired rockets against Israel since the initial barrage of rocket attacks on Oct. 7th?
In his first reply to my comment, he armed me and said I was his “strongest soldier.” 😳 Must have noticed these guns 💪😎. It seems like he originally agreed with me, and I don't know what impact, if any, this had on the ultimate decision.
I remember staring at this section of the unban request form thinking, "Err, I don't know." Like you all, when I've been banned by Destiny in the past, I know what to write here. He doesn't like snark; if you're being a condescending prick, get that ass banned. I have a general understanding of what sort of comments Destiny hates in this subreddit, and thus I know how to participate in the subreddit without being on the receiving end of a ban.
Taking the recommendation of another user, I cobbled together something for the unban form, and figured I'd just try again in a month. Alas, both the form and my last exchange with 4THOT was unsuccessful, and I would not have even attempted to send an unban request form to Ninou had I known that she had "orders to not unban" certain users. While I can understand that there may be certain users whose offenses are so egregious that a ban conditional on a lengthy period of time having been passed first is warranted, I don't believe I fall in this camp.
It's often stated by both Destiny and other moderators that the "process to get unbanned is pretty easy." Conditional bans tarnish the smoothness of this process, where good-faith unban requests are rejected due to the condition set, and I don't believe this should be the case.
If Destiny could offer further clarity here, that would be appreciated by both myself and others who have had this conditional ban placed upon them.

The Litmus Test:

Scroll up all the way to the top of Part 1, and what do you notice I've done in the preamble? I’m keen to avoid guilt by association; I believe Destiny just calls this being “webbed.” In the TL;DR I specifically mention the "pro-Israel crowd"; I know what this will invoke in the minds of people reading this, the associations people will draw to other people who have made criticism against the pro-Israel crowd. Thus, I feel the need to ensure that I dissociate myself from those people. That’s why you see the statement about Hasbara and brigading; it’s me raising a giant flag screeching, “Hey, I’m not like the others, this post is different!”
Let me give a couple examples here (suffer through some more examples…you must suffer…).
Example I - An Odd Title and an Audacious Inquiry
In this submission, OP posts a Twitter video with the submission title: “Reuters video shows militants armed with assault rifles atop aid convoy trucks and shooting at palstinians [sic] approaching the trucks.” Now, no one mentioned this in the comments, so to add some clarification here: this is not Reuters reporting, this is a clip from a Reuters live stream showing a view from a tent camp in Rafah. (Specific timestamp here.) Anyone watching this stream can clip whatever noteworthy event they see and add their own statements on what has transpired. As far as I can tell, that seems to be what the original clip here from N12 news has done, and it was also posted on their website, with no additional details.
This individual (henceforth called Doc) asked some fair questions. They made mistakes, of course, such as watching the clip on mute (you silly goose); but I would agree that “shooting at palstinians [sic]” invokes an image of, well, Palestinians being riddled with bullets, and instead we get what seems to be shots fired into the air. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask that the title reflect this distinction. What’s unfortunate here is that merely attempting to get an accurate summary is enough for OP to assume the worst about them, and thus we get the rebuke: “Keep dicksucking the terrorists stealing the aid.” I’ve seen Doc’s comments before, when they say they’re an “Israel stan”, they are. But for OP, they immediately engaged in “the web”, guilt by association, etc., and that was enough to result in this petty infighting. I thought leftists were the only ones that did that?
Example II - No Steelmans Allowed
In the second example, it’s me that’s on the receiving end of the purity test. Personally, as someone who is not a leftist (see what I’ve done there?), I do think a considerable number of y’all miss the mark when it comes to criticising leftists, and I attempt to steelman their positions as I find that to be more conducive for better discourse. Feel free to disagree with the steelman, the point is that merely providing that steelman is enough for OP to assume that these are my own positions — despite clearly stating multiple times that I’m not pro-Palestine, that I support Operation Prosperity Guardian, etc. Once again I bring up that I have defended Israel from silly conspiracy theories when they mentioned “your tribe”, as that’s my attempt to pass the litmus test, demonstrating my impartiality here.
Example III - ???
I'm not sure if 4THOT engaged in a similar type of purity testing both for the initial comment I was banned for, and also in my last exchange with them on another subreddit. The exchange was pretty bizarre: I asked if they checked Reddit DMs; they replied that they do, and “our agreement stands.” In their next reply, they mentioned that they confused me with another person, and said that, “Yes, once I/P is over I will let your people go.” That phrase “your people”, is quite similar to how the OP in the previous example said “your tribe” and “your side.” This seems to be the guilt by association I spoke on: I’m being lumped in with a group whose views generally don’t align with my own. That’s why part 1 begins with an introduction on myself. I need to pass the litmus test first before I can get good engagement — and it’s unfortunate that I feel compelled to do that.
Engage in good-faith
The conclusion here is a simple one: don't assume what positions your interlocutor holds merely because they're skeptical about that framing of certain stories, or because they attempt to provide a steelman for the opposing side.

Finito for Real

What I’m looking for here is clarity. UN officials will continue to say and do stupid things; that applies to pro-Palestine people, that applies to leftists. But every now and then, upon seeing one of these submissions, I might think, “Eh, this is pretty stupid, but I think it’s stupid for slightly different reasons to everyone else.” Can I express those opinions here? Must I add a preamble to every comment so that people don’t assume the worst? Do I need to be thinking, “Hmm, I wonder what 4THOT thinks about this story?”

Free me OOOO 🐟

Thanks to everyone that offered feedback. :)
submitted by PoisonedWhispers to Destiny [link] [comments]


2024.05.11 19:29 Scott_Savino My Twin Disappeared After Reading A Book Called "The Legend of Mermaid's Roost"

We look the same and we always have but we couldn’t be more different from each other. I think that’s the best place to start with this. Some identical twins have a lot in common. They like the same foods, the same things on television, some even spend their entire lives dressing in the same clothes, but we were never those girls. For as long as I remember, it’s been hard for even our own parents to tell us apart were it not for our very different personalities. Our own mother can’t tell the difference between our voices over the phone to this day. We even have the same laugh, but after that we diverge. I’m extroverted and would much rather be outdoors than inside where she is bookish and reserved. As far as personality traits go, Lily and I have always shared very few.
We both have our father’s nose and our mother’s heart shaped face and her high cheekbones. The same raven-black hair falls in waves past both of our shoulders and the same emerald green, almond shaped eyes sparkle with hidden flecks of gold that you can only see if you take a look up close.
Still, there’s a connection between us that can’t be explained. We just feel it. Know it’s there. It’s a thing with identical twins no matter how truly different they really are. Some say it’s a sort of telepathy, if you believe in that sort of thing.
That’s the reason I knew something was wrong before I had proof. I knew when I woke up in the morning that something was happening and that it was big. I even knew when I finally got up the nerve to send her a text, she would reply this time; not right away–but this time–she would. She hadn't been replying to me at all lately, no matter how often I sent her messages. Something was different now. I'd hear back from her but it would be at least a week–possibly a few days more before I did. Sending this text was different. Something I could feel in my bones told me she'd finally tell me what was going on with her. Where had she been? In my heart, I knew the lack of communication over the past several months wasn’t something she had chosen. Somehow I knew she wanted to talk to me but for some reason she couldn’t and that was a very strange and unnerving feeling for a twin to have. In the past, before Lily’s recent radio-silence, she and I had rarely gone for more than a day or two without checking in. In the past year that had suddenly changed and I had no logical explanation for it.
This particular morning, a feeling of unease is everywhere around me and even somehow inside me. I feel it in bed before I even open my eyes. Like an itch you can’t scratch because you know it will just make the rash worse and trying to ignore it altogether will drive you mad. The worst part about the itch was knowing that after months of nothing, I would finally hear back from Lily. It was time. She was ready to talk. I knew it. I don't know how–I just did. Somehow after months of unanswered messages, my next text would finally garner a response and knowing that made me jittery. The itch was made worse by the inexplicable knowledge that the response was going to take days. At least I would get it, but I'd have to wait for it for days. If she hadn't replied to me in months, why should that make me feel so uneasy? I couldn't say. The whole prospect of this scenario made me nervous but I told myself I would send the message right after breakfast because my sister needed me to send it and she needed me to send it today. It was important that I reached out to her this morning.
Whatever happened is bothering me so much that I burn the pancakes and have to start them over three different times.
“Vibes are off today, Emily,” my wife Jasmine begins. She sits patiently waiting for me to serve her a plate of good ones, pancakes that aren’t burnt, at the table in our kitchenette, “I just changed that bag last night you know, and if you keep doing that I’ll have to take it out again before we even get to eat. What’s up with you?”
“Not me,” I reply, “it’s Lily. Something’s up with Lilly.”
“Oh? You finally hear back from her? What’s going on?”
“That’s just it. I haven't heard anything in months but that's definitely about to change. I don’t know. It’s just a feeling, babe. Hard to explain,” I say.
“A twin thing?” She asks.
“Exactly. It’s twintuition. It’s like–”
“–Intuition,” she finishes for me, “I get it. Did you try calling her or texting her yet?” Jasmine asks.
“No, but it’s because I’m afraid she won’t answer right away and I don’t want to have that fear be real.” I admit. “That’s weird isn’t it?”
“Very,” she says getting up from the table. She picks my phone up from the counter and grabs me by the waist, moving me away from the stove and spinning me around. She pecks a small kiss on my lips and lifts one of my hands, placing the phone into it. She gives me a little shove toward the kitchenette table and pulls out the chair for me.
“You’re going to sit here and write a text to your sister and I’m going to finish making breakfast.” She tells me.
I sit here looking at my phone for a while, unsure of how to start. Finally I type:
Anything wrong? Worried about you.
And I hit send.
_____________________________
Eight days pass before Lily texts me back and it’s a flood of texts in the morning from an unknown number. One after the other.
Sorry I didn’t get back to you right away. You were right about Eric. I didn’t tell you a lot because I thought you’d be ashamed of me. Or mad. You’ve always been so much stronger than I am.
I packed and left the night you text me. I was afraid to reply because I thought he might be able to read it somehow. He definitely was tracking the phone so I left it at the bus station that morning.
It took me a few days to get set up, but I’m in Echo Bay now and this is my new number. Just got one of those burner phones from Walmart. It’s nothing special but that’s on purpose.
I’m staying in a bungalow on the beach. Very cute. Just a few miles from you and Jasmine, actually. It’s nothing permanent, just an AirB&B. I figured coming here would be safest for now to figure out what to do next.
I never told him where you were and he’ll try to find me if he can. He’ll follow me to the end of the Earth. I should have told you about him. The whole truth. Now I finally can. If you’re not busy, come by today and I’ll tell you the whole story.
The last text she sends puts tears in my eyes and I call her right after I read it and we make plans…
I’m pretty sure if I stayed he’d have killed me sooner or later. Probably sooner.
I meet Lily for lunch at her bungalow in the afternoon and she’s right, it’s very cute. She, on the other hand, looks like a mess and I find myself both irate and awestruck. I don't understand how the bruises haven’t fully healed or even begun to heal a little. That bastard really did a number on her. It's eight days later and her face and skin is purple and green with bruises in so many places–appearing to be so fresh that you'd think she'd been at the bottom of a three-car pile up just the night before.
“He wasn’t always like this, you know,” she tells me, “in the beginning he was really charming…it took a long time to figure out that person wasn’t real.”
She doesn’t eat much, mostly just moves the food around on her plate with her fork. She goes quiet and drifts away from the conversation a lot which is strange for me because she was always the one with more focus. I’m the daydreamer. She’s the grounded one. That’s how we’ve always been. A few times while she’s sitting silently, she begins to cry. When I hold her hand, it turns into a wailing sob and I reassure her that none of this is her fault. That this sort of thing happens to a lot of women. That they feel trapped and never try to get out. Never try to escape. They don’t make it out. I reassure her that she’s still strong because she saw what was happening and she did something about it. She left. I reassure her quietly that although it shouldn’t be this way, that it shouldn’t happen, this still happens to lots of women anyway. She’s not alone. She escaped it. She’s a survivor.
“We can help find you a lawyer if you want,” I offer at one point, “we have money saved. We can pay for it,” and she immediately shuts the idea down.
“No. I’m not doing that,” she says adamantly, “I just want to be done with it. I came here to heal. I don’t know if I’m staying or not yet…”
She pauses for a moment and then adds: “I just need some time to figure out where I’m supposed to be.”
“But if you let him get away with it, he could do this to someone else,” I say, “you do realize that right? You need to do something. He needs to pay for this.”
“He does need to, but what if he gets away with it?” she asks, “what if I report all of it and he sits trial for it…and what if he gets off? I can't take that chance. It isn't worth the consequences of it. What if I don't win?”
“What if you do?” I ask her. She gets really quiet then, “promise me you’ll think about it.”
“I will,” she says and it’s almost a whisper, “I just need some time. I made it away and I’m safe. I don’t know if I want him to know where I am. If I do this then he knows I’m here and when he does, if I lose, he will kill me. You understand that don’t you? He will kill me. That man operates on some sort of twisted revenge. He won't even consider what would follow once he's gotten it. He'll just think about getting even with me.”
“Jail isn't a deterrent when you're dealing with a human grenade. He'll only want to explode–to destroy. He won't worry about what happens to him after that. He doesn't work that way.” She says.
She doesn’t want to let me take pictures of her bruises but I insist on it and somehow actually win that argument. She tells me she’s been trying not to even look in mirrors right now. She doesn’t want pictures of her looking like this on her brand new phone because what if she decides to take a picture of something beautiful, like a sunset, and she opens the camera and the photo gallery is right there and she has to look at this instead. I tell her that she’s still beautiful no matter what happened to her. All that matters is what happens next. So I take the pictures for her with my phone. She takes off her shirt and there are more bruises everywhere underneath and we take pictures of those too.
I manage to keep my own feelings bottled up for the entire afternoon until she takes her shirt off and now before I realize I’m doing it, I’m crying also.
“Shhh,” she whispers, “you can’t cry. You’re the strong one.”
I shake my head and tell her that we’re both strong and then we’re both sobbing and she presses her face against my chest and I press my head onto the top of hers until she steps away from me and tells me that I have to stop crying on her because I’m getting snot in her hair. We both laugh.
It’s not funny. Nothing about this afternoon has been, but we both laugh anyway and our laughs still sound the same.
I spend the entire day with her and as the sun goes down we leave her bungalow and take a walk along the beach.
“So, can I ask how you ended up falling for this guy? Identical or not we clearly operate on different wavelengths romantically and I just don't understand.” I say, and then add: “forgive me if that's too personal.”
“No. It isn't.” She begins, “and if only we operated on the same wavelength or even similar ones. I thought about you a lot in the past few years. Thought that if only I was a big old lezzie–like you, if I'd just went for girls, none of this would've ever happened.”
“Don't be so sure. Domestic abuse doesn't have a gender. There's shitty, abusive partners in queer relationships too.” I tell her.
“Well, regardless, I've actually asked myself the same question about a hundred times in the last week. What drew me to him and where and when did things change–you know? When did he go from the ideal boyfriend to an absolute monster?”
She tells me that when she met this bastard, Eric Warminster, it was like something out of a movie, and her story begins that way too–like a cheesy rom-com–so corny it sounds fake…I almost tell her how much I hate romantic comedies, I almost tell her to give me some horror flick any day of the week. I think better of it just before I do and don't say the thought aloud. She never went for horror, even when we were girls–and that's what she ended up with despite her aversion to it. That was what her life had become.
She tells me they were both in the produce section of the grocery, neither of them paying too much attention–he on the phone and she looking over her shopping list. They both reached for a pineapple–the last pineapple in the crate. He asks her what she plans to do with it if he lets her have it and she tells him she's just going to cut it up and eat it. He tells her he’s making a pineapple-upsidedown cake with it.
“I've never had that.” She tells him honestly; matter-of-factly and he invites her over to his place later that night to be the judge of whether or not his recipe is any good. Normally, she tells me, she'd never have done something like that. She tells me that she's not the type to just go to a strange man's place on a whim…but he was good looking and had a charming way about him. She fondly describes his smile. It’s out of character and she can't say exactly what makes her drop her guard and give this man her number, but she does…
And the dinner he cooks for her as well as the cake he makes are both excellent.
“That wasn't the only cake he made for me. One day when we were still getting to know each other he asked me a load of questions. What's my favorite color? Favorite flower? That sort of thing. Remember that movie ‘Steel Magnolias?’ I told him that was my favorite movie. He says he's never seen it. Not a week later, he tells me he watched it and asks me to come by after work. Says he's got a surprise for me...” She says.
“No fuckin way.” I said, interrupting her. I told you rom-coms aren't really my thing, but I'd known that was Lily's favorite since we were in middle school. Of course I'd suffered through it and we'd watched it together…her with a tissue pressed against her eyes and me rolling mine.
“He made the Armadillo Cake?” I ask, “you mean to tell me he watched the movie just because you mentioned it and then he made the cake?”
Lily smiles briefly at the recollection and nods.
“He was very romantic…in the beginning.” She tells me.
Eric does all sorts of things to win Lily's heart: he'd make her breakfast in bed, take her on picnics. She tells me he would even sit there calmly while she complained about her co-workers and instead of trying to fix the problem or offer his advice, by the end of the conversation he'd have found a reason to hate the people she said she hated in her story and have his own complaints about them too. According to Lily, he was perfect…and then shortly after she moved in with him, things started to change and they changed fast.
Little things at first…she accidentally buys the wrong type of cereal at the store and is met with: “Frosted Flakes? Really? Not Frosted Flakes! Mini Wheats! Are you stupid or something? Frosted Mini Wheats! How hard is that for your useless, stupid brain to remember?”
She tells me that once she folded the towels the way our mother always had when we were growing up. He didn't fold them that way so he calls her into the bathroom, throws open the linen closet and proceeds to yank each one of them out one by one, unfolding them with a flick of his wrist before smooshing them into balls and leaving them in a heap on the floor.
“Do it the fuckin right away the first time, or do it again, moron.” He shouts at her before storming out of the room.
“He told me all my friends were toxic next. I didn't have any friends except my coworkers so he told me he didn't want me working anymore. Most women would kill to be homemakers. Do the dishes. Spend the afternoon watching soap operas. He put me on an allowance and I couldn't buy anything without telling him I was buying it.” She says. “He told me you were toxic too. Said you didn't love me and the way he said it…how he explained it, it was so convincing. That’s the reason I stopped returning your calls.” After she says this, she begins to cry quietly.
He tells her if she tries to reach me or any other of her so-called “toxic” family, and he finds out, he'll sell the car he bought her and they'd start having everything–all the shopping and groceries–delivered. She becomes afraid if she lets anyone know what’s happening she’ll lose what little freedom he grants her and she'll be trapped in their house for good…trapped there with him for good.
There are a few other anecdotes just like those ones in her story and I find myself getting more and more angry as she recounts all of this to me. Then it hits me: each story is just another small escalation. I'm so mad I could run this man down with my car, then get out and curb-stomp his head before setting him on fire.
I can feel the desire to do that just from what she tells me up to this point…
She still hasn't gotten to the day he begins to put his hands on her and my blood is already boiling.
She gets quiet for a long time and we just walk. I reach out and take her hand, and when I do she puts the thoughts that I was having just a moment earlier into words:
“I can sense how mad you are. I haven't even told you about the first time he hit me.” She says.
“You can keep talking about it, but you don't have to if you don't want to.” I say.
“I don't want to, but I'm going to anyway. I'm ashamed.”
“You shouldn't be. None of this was your fault.” I tell her.
“I know. I am anyway.” She continues, “I feel like I need to tell you. I have to tell someone. I haven't talked about any of this. It's poison and I want it out.”
The first time he hits her, it’s a punch in the face. He doesn't even start off with a slap or something. He'd never hit her before and the first time he does, it's a closed fist. She isn't expecting it to happen. The reason he claims he did it afterward is that she'd overcooked his pork chop. They finish eating and as she collected his plate she askes him how it was. He says it was chewy and then out of nowhere he punches her in the eye.
After he discovers he can get away with something like that, it starts happening all the time…
He throws her against a wall for forgetting to charge his phone for him. She'd forgotten somewhere that she was responsible for every small thing when it came to keeping the household running–even things that she'd never been asked to do. Things as small as putting his phone on the charger for him so he wouldn't have to do it himself.
He didn't want a girlfriend or a partner…he wanted a slave.
If he was leaving for work and she couldn't tell him where his keys were, he'd choke her so roughly and long that her vision would go white–then black–only to stop moments before she was about to pass out.
She’d forget who she was dealing with and speak out of turn and he'd take her by a fist-full of hair and drag her into their guest room where he'd installed a padlock she hadn't noticed before. He'd lock her inside and leave her there for a full day–sometimes two–without anything to eat or drink.
He'd tell her how lucky she was to be so well kept.
He'd tell her that the first time she ever tried to leave him would be the last time she tried that because dead women can't leave anyone–ever.
The awful stories pour out of her. Sometimes slowly like the tears that well in the corner of her eyes, growing like drops at the tip of a leaky tap until big enough to fall… Sometimes in a deluge of rolling sobs as a powerful wave like a wall of water from a burst dam. I don't interrupt her. I don't know what to say so I only listen. I know my sister. She doesn't want me to say anything because nothing I could say would take away the pain of any of this for her.
Eventually the emotions and stories are all spent and she grows silent. When she speaks again, it's to change the subject.
“What’s that out there?” She asks, pointing out at a spot in the water. The sun has nearly set and the only thing we can see is a great dark space on the horizon. The place where I live is old and still has a working lighthouse; it’s more for nostalgia than anything else now. As if on queue, the light sweeps across the darkness revealing a large, not so distant island that mostly exists as an outcropping of rocks.
“The locals call it Mermaid’s Roost,” I tell her, “lots of the old-timers, the superstitious ones, say that’s where the sirens live.”
She smiles at that. I realize it’s the first time I’ve seen her smile all day and it’s an incredible feeling. It’s too soon to call it healing but it’s the beginning of something like it and I can feel it radiating from her. It feels warm. She lifts her phone and opens the camera.
“It’s gonna be my first picture in my new phone,” she says, “I was waiting for something beautiful. I wanted the first one I took to be something beautiful.”
“The Roost is why they put the old lighthouse here in the first place. Supposedly there’s dozens of old ships that sank out there,” I tell her.
“They heard the sirens singing and rammed their ships against the rocks to be closer to them.” Lily says, “The legend is that they’re still out there and you can still hear them if they want you to. If they want you to come out to them…when men hear them from the water it’s because they want to smash the ships. When they hear them from the shore it’s always a trick; a call to swim out to them. Most don’t make it. There's an awful undertow. They drown. If they do make it that far, the sirens just kill them and eat them. They’re not actually mermaids at all but birds with the heads of women. Weird right? They’re from Greek mythology, you know. Surprising anyone believes anything like that out here.”
“That’s right,” I say, struggling to hide my surprise, “but how do you know all that? You just got here.”
“There’s a book about it at the house,” she explains, “I didn't just get here. I’ve been here for about three days. I’ve read the whole thing twice. Didn’t realize it was a local thing. That explains two things…why it was in the house to begin with, but also why it wasn’t written very well. I thought it’s probably self-published or a vanity press sort of thing,” She shrugs and says, “I didn’t realize why it was at the house until now. I like it anyway. It’s just about the only thing there is to read in there.”
I’m flabbergasted, “Three days? You got here and waited three days to text me?” I heard the rest of what she said but that’s the only thing that registers.
“I was scared,” she says, “scared to tell you about any of this stuff.”
“I get it. I’m not mad or anything but Jesus, Lily, you’ve been this close for three days? I’ve been worried sick about you for over a week!”
“I know,” she whispers and grabs my hand, “I’m sorry.”
“We should probably get back before it gets too dark,” I say.
“Stay with me tonight? Say you will? Call Jasmine and tell her you’ll be home in the morning?”
I say I will and that we need to start to head back to her place. We’ve walked about a mile so it will take us a while to get back and this isn’t the kind of beach that’s made of gentle slopes of endless sand. There’s sand of course, but it’s also full of rocks to trip and bust your head open on in the dark.
When we’re halfway there and the sky is a deep, dark purple, like the color of wine when it's still in the bottle, she stops and looks back at Mermaid’s Roost. The shadow of it still looms on the dark violet horizon, like a giant sleeping in the sparkling black blanket of water. Her eyes grow wide and seem to fill with tiny golden diamonds, like flecks of light reflected by the stars. Her face glows with an uncharacteristically innocent wonder.
“Emily,” she whispers, “do you hear them too?”
And I think she’s fucking with me so I say “sure” and tell her to hurry up because I’m starving and I want to order us a pizza and call my wife to let her know I'll be staying with her in her bungalow. Also that my feet hurt. The truth is that I can barely hear her when she asks the question in the first place.
“It’s beautiful,” she says quietly and I agree because I think she’s talking about the town or the beach or the moon or the stars or anything else–anything real–and not some local legend that she can hear over the sound of the waves and wind that I can’t.
When we get back to the little beach house, she pauses in the doorway and stares for a long time back at the island of rocks. It’s distant, but big enough to still see, if only just barely when the light from the lighthouse sweeps across it in the dark.
_____________________________
The house is awash with the chill and the sounds of the sea wind when I wake up. We went to the master bedroom around 11:00pm to watch a movie. The plan was for us to stay in the same bed like we used to do sometimes when we were little girls. The house has a guest room and I could have slept in there, but Lily begged me to stay with her, so I did and the truth is that I wanted to.
It’s 3:00am and the cold is what’s roused me from sleep but it’s panic that pulls me fully awake now. She’s not here with me. I know she’s not in the house. I know this the same way that I know she turned the TV off when she left. She did this so a loud commercial didn’t wake me. I know this because it’s what I would have done if I was trying to sneak away and I didn’t want her to stop me. I know all of this the same way I knew she was in trouble but I didn’t know how or why over a week ago. Twintuition.
I’ve never had a feeling like this one before. It’s strong and clear but also deep and dark like the water outside. I know from the moment I wake up that I won’t see her alive again, but I search the entire house for her anyway. I go from room to room checking every closet, beneath both the beds and even behind the shower curtain in the bathroom. When I get to the living room I see the reason the house is so cold; she didn’t shut the door behind her when she left.
“The Legend of Mermaid’s Roost” is laying open on the counter and she’s used seashells to hold the pages open to where she’s circled a passage in black marker.
“When men hear the sirens singing, it is always without a doubt an attempt at temptation. Their beautiful and deadly song is said to be a lure calling sailors ever closer to the rocks of Mermaid’s Roost to smash their ships along the stoney shore, but the sirens don’t stop there. Their singing has not only been heard by men at sea, but by those who walk along the shores after dark. They call out to the men on the mainland trying to convince them to swim out to the Roost; a distance just over half a mile. According to the legends, most of those that attempted to swim the distance to the island would get caught in the undertow and drown. If they managed to make it the entire way, the sirens of Mermaid’s Roost would rip them apart with their talons and eat them alive while they screamed for a mercy that would never come. Death is always the fate of men who hear the song.”
“According to the myths, women almost never hear their enchanting calls from across the bay, but for those that do the call is never a deadly temptation, but rather an invitation to join them. To sing with them and lure men to their untimely ends. Those women that do hear them may choose to join their deadly flock if they wish to do so. According to the local histories this is rare and the women that choose to join them are never seen nor heard from again.”
At the bottom of the page, a note in her handwriting simply reads: “Figured out where I’m supposed to be. Thanks for today. I love you always.”
I rush outside knowing there’s no reason to hurry because I’m already too late. She’s already made her choice and I don’t need my twintuition to tell me that because I can hear her.
She’s singing…Mermaid’s Roost is over a mile away and I know it’s her voice because it sounds so much like my own. It’s quiet from this distance but the preternatural nature of her chorus spans the space between us with ease and clarity…but this song is not my invitation to join her…
It’s her last request.
When I offered to pay for a lawyer so she could make him pay for putting his hands on her, she was afraid she wouldn’t win but that fear is gone now. She’s found a whole flock that’ll be willing–that lives for the sole purpose of picking better men than him apart, and they will, as they’ve done to so many before him…that is if he even survives the swim.
He’s too far from here to hear her song but he’s not too far for me. I don’t know exactly how to reach you, Eric Warminster, but I know where you live and there can’t be more than one man with that name where you are. In the morning I’ll make a few calls until I find you and when I do, I’m pretty sure that Lily was right when she said you’d try to kill her if she ever left. I'm banking on her fear that you'd follow her to the end of the Earth. I’m also pretty sure you won’t know the difference between her voice and mine, especially not over the phone…our own mother can’t most of the time. I don’t even have to face you and I already know what I’ll say to get you out here too. I’ll taunt you and belittle you just like you did to her. I'll be laughing the entire time. You’ll come. It should be easy enough…our laughs sound the same…
…All I have to do is tell you to meet me at the beach after dark. I know by the sound of the song she's singing that she's changed so much already. I wonder if the transformation was instantaneous or if it takes time for her feathers to grow in and fully form. I wonder if that even matters. I wonder if she must complete her change before she can do what she means to do to you and something about her tone tells me, no. She's ready for you now. The words of her melody aren't in English anymore, but in a vernacular that up until now, I would have believed impossible. The sweet song seems to originate from a great creature both mythical and feminine and beautifully deadly. Birdlike, the calls drift out from the newly-formed and massive beak. I see her face has shifted and grown it already with my mind’s eye. The sound reaches out over the water for only me to hear. Lily sings in a language so musical and ancient now that the words themselves have long been forgotten. Yet, despite their foreign nature, I don't have to understand the tongue to understand the meaning of her song. The sound of the music of Mermaid’s Roost fills my mind. Entering my ears, it surges though my head before seeming to flow and tread before my eyes. I can see what she wants me to do in images that hover barely visible like an ethereal painting before me. She wants me to get you to this beach and I will. That’s her last request–her only request. Get you to the shore and she’ll take care of the rest.
ss
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2024.05.10 23:41 kiltedfrog Rimworld, but less war crimes. (so far)

When I went to sleep in the hospital it was for an upgrade to my bionic spine. The first one I had installed after the accident was not working well enough any longer to let me do my job. I went in for upgrade and replacement, fortunately funded mostly by my employer, but I ended up getting a whole hell of a lot more than I bargained for.
I woke up on a planet with mostly purple vegetation, at least, where I woke up it was all purple. There's blue plants here too, which I found later and tend to grow in the shade more. When I woke up I was being licked by what I assume are regular Earth dogs. There's twelve of them. All bigger breeds. I apparently have had some eye implants installed, or something... I have a HUD that seems to be overlaid over my vision with the dogs names. They have been named 'Spot I' 'Spot II' and so on. It would be a few days before I mastered the HUD implant, as I decided to call it, and changed their names in it.
Oh, I woke up nude, which... was fucking great. At least it's nice out, air-temperature-wise on this planet, pretty much all the time. Only about twenty degree swings into the night.
When I first looked around after the pack woke me up, I realized there was a wind-up laser hunting rifle next to me. This relic was common in the first space war several hundred years ago. When I picked it up, my HUD interfaced with it, and showed me it could hold a charge of five shots in it's capacitor, and it was currently discharged. I sighed and grabbed the rifle. It wasn't my trusty L-237 blaster from my military days, but I supposed it would have to do. When I had played with one of these things at the military museum as a kid it took me almost three minutes to crank the thing enough for a single shot.
I whistled for the dogs to follow me, first order of business was figuring out some sort of shelter. I started to crank the Rifle to charge it, and swiftly realized I had more than just a bionic spine upgrade installed. My arm was apparently far advanced than anything I'd ever heard of. I cranked the ever loving fuck out of that rifle's charger. I watched in awe at my own body's movements. 2 shots charged in only about 10 seconds. I filled the capacitor.
My curiosity about my arms must have triggered something in the HUD implant. A holographic schematic view of my arms projected into my virtual HUD. Archtech Arm R, along with a whole bunch of stuff about lifting power and tensile strengths that I don't really understand, but 'programmable multi-tool fingers' stands out. and I think about having a screwdriver and my middle finger on my right hand becomes a screw driver.
I decided I'd check out everything I could learn about my new body later, when I'd found some shelter. I walked with the pack of dogs following me for a while before I found a nice, empty looking cave. Whoever did this to me upgrade my eyes while they were at it. When I walked deeper into the cave the night vision automatically clicked on. I had the rifle at the ready, fully charged by now. The dogs were still following me, I think the soft glow of my rifle is enough for them get by.
The cave was empty, but smelled musky, like something large an hairy normally lived here. The owner came back as I was about to settle down and scan as much of me as I could with this HUD implant. The owner, my first meal on the planet, was a massive warthog looking thing. Eight legs.
It took four shots from the rifle. I learned my lesson and started charging immediately after shooting the next time I went hunting. Lets be honest, the next time I was hunted. These crazy arms I have can aim precisely while charging, ain't no meat body could do that.
Speaking of meat and bodies. I was pretty much fully remade of Archtech parts now. My left arm turns into more 'Gross use' tools like axes and picks and large drill bits for mining. My right is all the finer tools. Both work amazingly as hands. The speed and dexterity with which I can work is unreal. My legs are both the same model of Archtech leg, it's got an ambifoot. I can run faster than a cheetah with them. Which is dangerous and thrilling. One small trip at that speed and you'd think it'd be over.
Well not with my brand new skin! Which my HUD labeled as Archtech Membrane. Not sure I like the phrasing of my whole skin as 'membrane' but what am I gonna do, sue someone over it?
I do still have to eat, it seems. The brain parts still require food, though I'm pretty sure that most of my body is now run on some kind of crazy micro nuclear reactors or something. The dogs ripped into the big pig thing when I killed it, they seemed to be pretty hungry too. Other than tagging them with their name, this HUD seems to be telling me they're just regular dogs. It shows the health tracker chip in them if I ask it to... but that just doubly confirms that these are just dogs, no fancy tech inside them, just what any ol human owned dog would have. They're good dogs it seems, since they all seem to like me.
That first night, I just chopped some nearby trees down with my axe hand arm and started a fire with some of the branches that I wouldn't be able to make good lumber from. I chopped a few hunks of meat off the great pig and cooked them up. The HUD told me when it was cooked enough to kill any parasites.
Myself and the pack of dogs all slept uneasy that first night by the fire. Other than the pig whose home we had invaded and colonized, none of the native residents bothered me.
By the end of the second day I had built a large wooden door to close the entrance of the cave off from the outside. I also searched around the forest I had found myself in for some form of fruit tree, or edible vegetation. I wasn't too keen on being on a pure meat diet. Hell before this I had technically been a vegan, but like, not for any moral reason it was just that there was no real meat or animal product foods available. So called 'real food' was for people FAR wealthier than me. Speaking of, these implants and upgrades probably were too.
I fell into wondering how the hell I got here. After an hour or more of wallowing in self-pity, one of the dogs roused me. With what looked like a ball in his mouth. It was what initially thought to call an Apple... but it was not an apple. The dog dropped the fruit into my hand, and my HUD labeled it "Safe To Eat Fruit" until I thought to call it an Apple, then the HUD switch it to say "Apple." I wiped the fruit clean of dog slobber by rubbing it on my bare chest... I didn't have anything else to wipe it off on, and took a bite. It was like a crisp unripe plum, with a touch of fart. I had the dog show me where he found it. A small grove not far away.
Nothing in the grove was ripe, yet but I was glad it was here. It was here I learned to rename things in the HUD, gave all the dogs more unique names. Rover, Groucho, Daniel the spaniel... but I'm not really sure what a spaniel is, I just liked the name. I kept Spot I as just plain ol 'Spot' with no numeral after.
By the third night, it was apparent that the pig was going start to rot soon, and we wouldn't be able to eat it anymore. Suddenly, the HUD displayed, "Objective: Learn to make jerky."
I used my super tooled up arms to properly butcher what remained of the pig, the dogs had done a good bit of work eating him, but there was still some usable bits of pelt, "Objective: Learn to Tan Leather."
Great. How long until my vision ends up cluttered with objectives. And just like that... they disappeared from view. I sat there a moment with that... the HUD implant reacted to both my conscious and unconscious minds.
"Full HUD." I said, unsure what would happen. An OVERWHELMING amount of information appeared before my eyes. I closed my eyes in an attempt to escape the barrage of data, but I realized that only covered the real world. Slightly less to take in that way at least. I took a breath to center myself, and looked over what was there, dismissing unimportant things as I went. Also important things that were good to know but didn't need to still be there. like the 12 alerts in bright yellow that said, , , and so on.
Well shit, I guess I should have cooked their meals too. "Objective: Cure the Dogs."
I dismissed that objective from view, and all the alerts about dog worms.
I completed the "Learn to make jerky" objective with only my own wits. I made some drying/smoking racks by carefully chiseling a large flat stone and setting it over the long low smoldering fire I had made. When I went to lay down in the pile of dogs in my cave with me, I complained that I wished I had a bed, and "Objective: Build Bed" appeared.
"HOW!? How do I just build a fucking bed, huh?" I shouted at the universe, not expecting my HUD implant to answer.
"Objective: Build Bed
Step 1: Chop Wood 2/20."
The HUD started giving me step by step instructions, I had a small amount of good lumber left over from making the door, I guess that's two units then. I put off sleep for a few hours to build myself a bed. When I got 20 units of wood chopped, it showed me the next step.
The HUD did the same next day when I thought to expand the cave. It showed me how to mine, and properly support the cave as I tunneled, which required more wood. Then I made a table, and a chair. And finally, I ate a meal on this planet at a table. I almost felt human again... well despite the pretty much fully replaced body.
The HUD popped up a fresh alert. "Not enough food in storage." I looked at the remaining amount of pig meat, and the twelve dogs. Yea... about a day of pigmeat left.
The dogs and I went hunting. Those pigs are on the smaller end of fauna here it turns out. The tigers that hunt them... terrifying. Also, the HUD walked me through medical procedures too. After we killed that tiger I had to patch up Duke, the great dane, saved his life.
I was only a week in when I had already decided, this is home.
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2024.05.10 04:00 ErDiCooper Advice To Our Pokemon Masters! (Spoilers for May 9th's Pokemon Stream)

Hi Pokemon Masters! At the end of today's stream, some sad things occurred and y'all seemed a little unsure of how to proceed. So, I thought it might be helpful if someone who has spent an unreasonable amount of time playing pokemon broke it down for you and gave some options for recovery.
And of course, feel free to ignore all of this! Who gives a shit what I think? Nick's the real Pokemon Master here.
Possible KevKevWetWet Replacements
  1. Eedreevee (Vaporeon) - This would be MY personal choice. Simply put, it's just a better Lapras. It hits way harder, it's just as tanky, and it's even a little faster! The only downside is that it's not an Ice-type pokemon which means you won't get those STAB Ice Beams, but who even knows what STAB means? (Me and half the chat, but fuck us.) Plus, he'll resist fire attacks! Also, Vaporeon levels up much faster than Lapras or Gyarados.
  2. 8BitLuiz (Gyarados) - Now, chat will tell you that Gyarados is bad in this game, and, to their credit, they're right. Explaining the difference between physical and special moves in this generation is an absurd task, but it is sufficient to say that Gyarados is bad at Water and Ice attacks, which really are the value he's supposed to bring on your current team. HOWEVER! I just did my own Fire Red Nuzlocke, and you know who was on my team for the Elite Four? Gyarados. You know who kicked ass during the Elite Four? Gyarados. You can make him work, it just won't be as elegant as Lapras would have been. Plus he looks sick as hell.
  3. Dewgong - I forget the nickname. I'm very sorry for that. Anyway, I don't love this choice, but I also don't hate it! It will be a distinct downgrade from Lapras in terms of hitting power and tank ability, but it has three notable strengths. First off, it's slightly faster. (Lapras has a base speed stat of 60, whereas Dewgong has 70.) It also learns Ice Beam naturally at level 51, which will help save money! And finally, Dewgong has a passive ability called Thick Fat (just like me fr fr), which reduces both Ice and Fire damage recieved by 50%. That's basically free fire resistance! Huge! (It also means Dewgong will never give a single shit about Ice attacks.)
Possible CMoreButtz Replacements
  1. Articuno - I also forgot this nickname. Anyway. Articuno rules. Sure it has awful typing, but just don't put it into the fight with anything that can throw rocks. Problem solved. If you can avoid that, you'll have fast pokemon who can take hits and dish damage. That rules! Plus he'll be a good Ice attacker for the Elite Four, which is great.
  2. Primeape - Some folks were saying you could catch useful pokemon on Victory Road, and looking at what's available, this seems to be the only one worth your time? But it'd be a cool pick! Primeape can be a little flimsy, but it's an evil little pokemon too!! It's very strong and learns Cross Chop at level 45. Remember when chat was afraid of the dojo? We were scared of Cross Chop. It hits hard and has a VERY high crit chance. Plus it'll make Kevin really happy! Also, like Vaporeon, Primeape levels up pretty fast!
  3. Dratini/Dragonite - I would be remiss to leave this choice out. Dragonite is one of the best, more versatile pokemon in the game. He's great! But it's just SUCH a grind to make him useful, and you've already got a rough grind ahead of you. I do not recommend this pokemon, but damn would it pay off if you stuck with him.
  4. Exeggutor - I know, he's ugly as shit. Look at that dumb face! However... if anyone could carry forth Tim's legacy, it would be Exeggutor. In a lot of ways, this is the best Grass pokemon in the game. The only real downside here is that its learned moveset isn't great. He requires a lot of preparation, and you've already sold the Sunny Day TM and used the Giga Drain TM on Tim. However, Solar Beam is a very strong move! (Also, my Nuzlocke Charizard died to an Exeggutor. Charizard's name was Greg. #Gregsux.)
Recommendations For Current Squad
  1. Rexy (Zapdos) - Rexy kicks ass, and we all know it! However, I would recommend replacing Shock Wave with Thunder Bolt. It'll cost $80,000 at the Game Corner, but you're about to do so much grinding that I'm SURE you'll be able to afford it. However! Shock Wave is still a very useful move since it doesn't ever miss, and a lot of these recommendations will be costing you money, so it's your call!
  2. Dylsh999 (Nidoking) - Listen. You don't understand the difference between physical and special moves. That's fine; chat doesn't understand it either! You know who also doesn't understand it? NIDOKING. Instead of hitting the books, this dumb jock pokemon is great at BOTH types of damage! And he has access to like almost every powerful move in the game! For your team, I would recommend having him know the moves Megahorn, Earthquake, and Surf. As a fourth move, I would teach him Return, Thunderbolt, or Ice Beam, depending on what the rest of your team looks like. (If you have enough money after grinding, it wouldn't hurt to replace Megahorn with either Thunderbolt or Ice Beam. It's not a bad attack, but it misses and a lot of important pokemon are resistant to it.
  3. Cbent (Arcanine) - I have no advice for Cbent since he's already in great shape! However! I would not be writing any of this if y'all knew that Cbent has the Flash Fire passive ability. Flash Fire makes Cbent invulnerable to Fire attacks. In fact, getting hit by a fire attack makes Cbent STRONGER. If you're ever scared of a fire pokemon, just throw in Cbent and have him do non-fire attacks until the enemy dies.
  4. BigThicTom (Gengar) - This is a small recommendation since we know Tom's an absolute bad ass, but I wanna just float out there that Gengar can learn Thunderbolt! And if you got money burning a hole in your pocket after that grinding, that might make for a good 4th move in his arsenal (after Shadow Ball, Psychic, and Shadow Punch).
Finally, A Grinding Recommendation
There's no way to make this grind anything less than a misery. You need to get your whole team up in the 55-60 range, which is brutal. What I would recommend though is working your way through Victory Road and fighting every trainer you see. Just beat everything's ass, you feel me? Then -- and I know this sucks -- go back to the DLC Islands and use the VS Seeker to fight those karate people. Ideally, you want to get both guys who are running at each other, those two trainers from the double battle, and that karate girl who's running along the beach. It's a little tricky, but it's doable to get them all on the same screen when you hit the VS Seeker. This is the most efficient grinding spot in the game!
The End!
This was a lot of words! I'm very sorry! I have an English degree and edit legal documents for a living, so I'm just kind of naturally verbose in the written form lmao. If you've read through all of this, I hope it was helpful and, also, I hope this wasn't super annoying! Y'all are the best and I've been loving the streams!!!
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2024.05.09 20:15 Craigrr7 Don't Be Such A Sucker For Love: Why You Should Stop Dating Eldritch Entities And Learn Some Self Respect

Hi.

I'm the type of guy to see a rather innocuous game with a light tone and be like "bet" and somehow twist its themes into some allegory about echo chambers and the end of empathy. This is a rant that will take up an incredible amount of your time. As I am posting in a place full of the unclean, I understand that some of you may not appreciate the enlightenment that I have to offer you. All I ask is that you take a few seconds to mull over in your head the points that I have to make, then come to your own conclusions, then throw out those conclusions in exchange for my own since my opinions are superior. Or don't. It's your life, and this is a dating simulator. We're both weirdos as far as general society is concerned.
You will learn to fear me. Spoilers for both First Date and Date To Die For, obviously.
The gods are gross icky narcissists, that alone should be enough to turn you off immediately, and yet people are into it. This is normal, you are allowed to be weird. However, what you are not allowed to be is stupid. If there is something made abundantly clear to me through my time with Sucker For Love, its this:
Life fucking sucks here.
You'd be minding your own business, anticipating retirement or a raise, then some horny motherfucker decides he wants to plow Cthussy and ends the world. This would be you. You would be the asshole that ends the world for Cthussy. Don't let chemicals get in the way of self preservation.

Prattling Preamble

Sucker for Love is a universe that asks the questions "What is love? What is free love? Is love possible with beings beyond comprehension that lack sympathy for mortal life and actively seek to end it for their own amusement?" and while I have virtually zero clue what the fuck I was going on about with the first two questions, the answer to the last one is ABSOLUTELY NOT YOU IMBECILE.
Firstly: Incest. Fucking ew. Doesn't matter that the gene puddle isn't in jeopardy due to their anomalous nature, its still gross as shit. This technically has nothing to do with the question of love but so help me Lincoln if I don't remind people.
Actual Firstly: The gods of this world are in a position where they are literally the center of the universe. A lot of their personalities tend to match that fact, meaning that they act bitch. Some people are into that, but healthy love cannot be supported through fetish alone.
Secondly: Some anomalous effects of the gods means that you can never be certain whether the feelings you have for them are genuine. How are you supposed to trust that the relationship you have with Thicked Up Milf mommy #7 is real if there is a chance you are under The Coomers Curse? Mental faculties failing in obnoxious ways is intrinsic to the Lovecraftian setting, and if it wasn't awful enough before with your brain leaking out your ears now you have to worry about a leaking heart.
Sorry, that was phrasing was too poetic for my character. Your heart suffers prolapse and you die of idiot disease.
Unfortunately, we are missing context. I cannot convince you nor myself with slander alone. When originally dedicating brain power to this shit-ass avenue of research, I had lacked the experience of playing through First Date. This is why, logically, I bought it just to better formulate this argument and also because Estir is actually human looking and therefore kosher. I think she's neat aside from the whole Coomer's Curse deal she puts on rich dudes, but I digress. Using the data I have uncovered from Date to Die For and First Date, I shall convince you definitively that these fictional women are a waste of your time and you should pursue others that genuinely value your existence.

The Things I Do For Love

Date to Die For immediately sets its tone through its premise: local fashion icon summons cthulu and condemns mankind to ruthless slaughter for a kiss. Not even sex, just a kiss. Firstly, what the fuck is wrong with man for ending worl? Secondly, what the fuck is wrong with man for asking only for a kiss? Even the gods are disturbed by the sheer pettiness of what he asks for, along with it being gross as shit since he is asking for a kiss from someone he literally just met like ew dude. Lucky for him, Ln'eta is willing to give love a chance. Horrific body mutilation ensues.
Even my furry-incongruent genes are still able to respect the fucking balls of D to just up and be a fucking infohazard for eldritch women. Still hate the world ending part, but I find him amusing. Time and time again he undergoes the grand task of satisfying a god, and its not even for infinite money or cool shit like that. Just a simple, fleeting moment between him and a being beyond time, cherished for eternity. He is stupid.
Ln'eta and Estir, for all their apathetic godliness, appear to be rather tame on the personality spectrum if you get past the threats of violence. Ln'eta offers a free hug which, in terms of gods that only operate through bargains, is very sweet. I would've killed to see that cg, but Darling in his chad-like glory denies it in service to the grindset. Other than that, she is the only being that we meet that appears to hold genuine care for him, with how tender she comes across at times. Estir, on the other hand, is a lot more bitch in the relationship side of things. You get the whole horrific body mutilation, slight me and ye shall perish yada yada with both of them, but with Estir it is made pretty explicit she's mostly dating Darling as a slight towards Ln'eta, also because she likes owning people. Now, behind all those immediate turn offs to a rational person, there are still "redeeming" qualities. She has a sort of tsundere thing about her, you know what I mean if you saw her. There is the surface layer, which is "She likes you" then beneath it there is the "I am manipulating you in service of my dark and evil objectives, love is for pussies I demand devotion" and then beneath that there is the "She likes you" layer again somehow. An odd creature, this one. Personally I'm more inclined towards Estir, cause even if she is bitch she at least mimics the righteous human form. Just ignore her lower body region which either contains sharp objects to be kept out of reach of children, or tentacles we should be avoiding at all costs. Only human women for us chads, weird girls are for wusses.
Honestly D might be the most wrong in this situation since the 2 fuckers never outright set out to end reality, it was Darling who was the one to perform the rituals. Even Ester, the woman with the slavery objective was disturbed by his actions, and she was gonna get him to do the silly stabbing ritual anyway (Its pretty funny to think that if D had waited 7 seconds he would've had an entirely different elder god on his hands.) Plus, it was rather kind of Ln'eta to make a "ritual" for hugging that has no strings attached.
First Date admittedly is going for a different vibe. You aren't supposed to think about the whole world ending, billions-must-die stuff since its playing into the whole joke of "horny dude risks it all for god thighs". Hell, the horror sequence in the first game is basically the lead-up to a punchline, with D's big D energy being the only thing keeping him sane in the face of horrors within comprehension (do better next time, Nyan. Ghosts and big screaming faces? I felt I understood those horrors pretty well. Id win.) It's almost as if my argument is falling apart by the seams.
You are stupid. I am not one to be outdone by simple platitudes and cute, wholesome 100 moments.
Its a more cozy game and supposed to be funny, I can respect stories like that. However, with the tonal shift of Date To Die For, and how it appears to be going in a more serious and nuanced direction, I feel fully within my rights to enter Poetry Teacher ModeTM. So, how is First Date re-contextualized in this new, more grim perspective?

Tentacles Over Your Eyes

Oh yeah baby, now we get to get into the utter bullshit that "The Fuckers" put Darling through. Listen, Ive never felt the touch of one who desires me. However, I feel like that to a sane person that body mutilation, self harm, and the literal end of the world in which billions are eaten alive by cosmic dickheads would be a deal breaker.
First on the chopping block is Cover-Art Bitch. Ln'eta is flawed near instantly with the "I'm gonna kick your ass if you break up with me" energy (colloquially known as yandere). For someone who wasn't particularly interested in the end of the world it really seemed to be her way or the highway throughout the ordeal. The only time the breakup ends on healthy terms is when it is under her authority alone, and even then it isn't an end to the relationship. She's just killing him to re-roll for better stats in the next universe. Bitch.
Next is Secondary Bitch. Estir sees D as just another body to add to the collection. The first reason she had to try and get involved with him was for his 'wealth' and "status". Luckily, after D discovers her godhood her motivations evolve into a more kind and considerate "Doing it to cuck my sister". Charming. We still don't know exactly how she feels about the marriage even with it being the "Best" ending for her route. She is the type of person to only show you affection when it will make others around her jealous. The rest of the time its just gonna be her staring at her phone not engaging at all while eating the dinner that you paid for. Bitch.
Next is Secret Bitch. Nyan Nyan is bitch. This has been established on several occasions. Nothing really needs to be dissected, her motivations are pretty clear: Stunt humanity's growth in order to preserve life as a whole, humans and gods. Not like she genuinely cares about human life, like she tries to come across as to D. She likely only cares about the Pantheon, which I get because they are her spawn, but still fucked up how motherfuckers don't put respect on the name of those that worship them and will be the inevitable cause of their demise, just saying. Don't let the fact that her size would allow her to engulf you in a hug that would cover your whole body distract you, the only time she would ever do that is to flay the skin off of your back. No, it wouldn't be hot, it would hurt a lot and you would die in agony.
Now, this in itself is easy enough to comprehend, and probably legible to some extent. Lets fix that.

Crack Theory: Darling Was Fucking INVENTED

Due to Date To Die For, we know that goat bitch Dwayne "The Rhok" Cockson told the story of humans being cool and sexy to Ln'eta and Estir as kids. We also know that Darling became instantly infatuated the moment he dreamed of Ln'eta. No logical being goes through the motions of spending a shitload of money on constant scams in an effort to kiss a god, knowing that gods aren't real. However, admittedly there are a lot of illogical people on this planet, like you who dare to think ill of me since I'm not instantly down bad for octopuss puss. We also know that Estir was directly interested in Darling for a long time (only for his status, but still). What is the likelihood that 2 gods, also sisters, who just so happened to hear the same humans are sexy speech, managed to meet the same dude? Numbers need to be crunched in order to accommodate the fact that Estir was actively searching for people unprompted, but its still somewhere between incredibly unlikely and improbable as shit.
Now, I may be smoking too much Cauldron Lake water, but there is a non-zero chance that FROM THE COSMIC SOUP THAT BIRTHED THE GODS, THE D EMERGES PREPARED TO SEX! Fuck, even his appearance in the first game is influenced by gods within sniffing distance of him. He was pink for Lneta, yellow for Estir, and blue for Nyanlathotep. Stylistic choice? I dont think so! There is no shot that D wasn't conjured into existence by two or more of these shitlings. He is the stereotypical suave guy, quick wit, devoted (I mean, he is devoted when it counts), literally works in the beauty industry. He is practically a caricature of humanity, combining our most ridiculous qualities and magnifying them tenfold. They constructed a being to match their own ambitions, focused purely on lust and the conquest of achieving another's hand. Maybe it takes away from the chad aura of D if he was manufactured, even on accident, but fuck you its my post and the truth is mine to define. Even if he wasn't created by some brain blast moment between gods, it doesn't take away from my point that the gods have been causing problems for people since time immemorial.
Also while we are here, was Darlings neighbor the actual motherfucking Lovecraft? Like, a joke was made about not mentioning the black cat's name, and we all know what Lovecraft named his cat (if you don't, google it coward). Dude shoulda stayed in the stone age where he belongs. At least he wouldn't live to see his fears of reality and life around him get twisted into what lies before you. At the same time though, fuck Lovecraft we do what we want. The author is dead and we are still breathing.
Listen: I get that the girls are cute and sometimes tender. Not every toxic relationship is pure abuse like the media tells us. Early in the day its hugs and kisses, and later its knifes and cyanide. Ln'eta is sweet, but she also threatens D's life on several occasions, encourages him to commit horrific body mutilation, etc. Also for someone apathetic to the end of the world and against the whole smooching thing she was pretty adamant about the whole "don't cast the breakup spell". If your personality falls under the -dere spectrum, you need a therapist before a boyfriend. Ln'eta is also pretty clingy due to the fact she falls for D immediately after, like, 1 dream. It is likely this is how all her other relationships went, quick momentary infatuation before discarding them for the next mfer in line, but that is something we will get into later. Ln'eta only cares about Darling for what he can do for her. Same goes for Estir. D is just such a chad that he even outdoes the people who came up with him in the levels of depravity and focus he possesses. They are perfect for each other in the sense that everyone is toxic in their own special way.
So. The First Date is ironically enough not a good example of true healthy love. Shocker. First love usually doesn't last anyway. We'll see if the gods can do better on the second go around.

Rhok'zan Would Watch Water Boil Until The Pot Is Empty

Date To Die For: New game, new protagonist, new milf to worry about appeasing. Except, whats this? She is actually a calm and reasonable person compared to the other gods we have seen? God dammit, I cannot possibly be justified in thinking that she still sucks just because she shows the bare minimum of human decency.
...Wrong.
Rhok'zan has plenty of things for me to get upset about. Now you may be Thinking: "But Rhok'zan was very sweet! She wanted to be removed from the world in order to stop The Thousand from using her to destroy it! Rhok'zan was able to respect Stardust's boundaries and love her despite them!" This is true, and yet you are stupid. You don't have to be a conscious menace to still be a menace.
Rhok'zan was hanging out in the attic letting her cult do horrendous crimes to others while she twirled her thumbs. Don't worry, she loves humanity though, and people being alive and stuff. She loves humanity so much she couldn't possibly lay a finger on them in a harmful manner, even if she would be wholly justified for doing so. Nothing she has said implies that the cultists are utilizing anomalous means to keep her from stopping them. Yes, she was rooted to the woods and even if she tried to run away they could just re-summon her. However, you cannot tell me there was nothing she could do, not even something that could restrain them? God of lust, god of kinks, not only would it have upped the sex game it also would've allowed her to neutralize the threat. If not, fine, I get that there are limitations to the magic system, some I'm not aware of. This makes sense, but lady burn the fucking book. Literally an outer god and cannot- No, refuses to do shit.
And another thing since I don't know how to fit this in: Oh, "everyone dies someday", yeah well not everyone wakes up expecting to be fucking murdered, RHOK'ZAN. The universe should not be dying of old age before they do. Maybe you should use this justification to MURDER THE CULT.
Nothing was stopping Rhok'zi from kicking dick except for her own morals. Things got this bad because she allowed it to. It doesn't matter if she feels bad about it, she is still responsible. Also, for as strong as her morals were, she was pretty okay with letting the Nannie just succumb to her bullet wounds, and also having the firstborns eat people. "But they were evil" yeah, if they were evil enough for it to be okay for them to die in her eyes, then she should have been OK being the one to kill them. They were actively torturing her and for some reason she couldn't be assed to stop them. She would rather force Stardust to endanger herself just so that Rhok'zan wouldn't have to be the one to cast the spooky killing spells. She admits it herself, that doing no harm isn't the same as doing good, and she still spends all of eternity sitting on the bed like a doofus. She had 1000's, possibly 100,000's of opportunities to get the fuck over herself and she never did. Multiply that by the eternity she is alive leading up to the moment Stardust returns. I'm not saying that people dying is okay, I'm just calling this woman a blatant hypocrite.
Btw before anyone thinks I'm on the side of Buck Bumble, no, no I'm not. Man wanted to end the world and people are part of the world. Also, physically assaulting your ex isn't cool if its for the purpose of validation after the end of your shitty relationship, rather than the liberation of humanity.
Choosing violence because your breakup was shit for reasons outside of either of your controls? Bad. Choosing violence for the liberation of humanity? Good.
Know the difference. The only thing worse than an active evil is an idle good. Though, "good" is putting it generously. Well, at least she was busy doing her godly duties, right? She was doing something greatly important, taking care of the woods that she has domain over, right?

The Woods

The fuck you mean "You lost the woods"? How the fuck do you lose control of literally the one thing you can use to exert agency other than murdering people? I cannot blame The Rhok for what the Woods do, but I can blame her for losing the Woods in the first place. What the shit, man? You had one job. Get a hold of yourself.
The woods have gotten real, and attained their own free will. Good for them, free will is sick as shit. Unfortunately, these woods are known for taking the free will from those who enter it. We have no logical reason to believe that Stardust's feelings towards Rhok'zan were real as the Woods are known to amplify emotions, including but certainly not limited to lust, moral compasses, and narcissism. For certain, we know for a fact that it was able to effect Billie to a degree where she would follow her personal rules to the letter, even against traditional logic. Despite her being affected by the woods she doesnt show signs of the Sacremencho Stare. This is because the stare requires you to be aligned with the thousand, the trees themselves don't directly cause the glowing eyes. This implies that even though Stardust lacks the stare she can still be under it's influence. It affects sexual feelings, who's to say it doesn't affect romantic feelings too?
The real smoking gun is this: The woods are the instructions at the top of the screen. That shit helping you progress? The fucking woods. Every time you burned it down was because it wanted you to burn it down. It likely didn't want to exist in service of Buck, since Buck was going to use it to end everything, including the woods in the process. These trees played a multi-universe spanning long con in an effort to fuck over everyone involved. What the shit. The Woods tries to convince Stardust to go back to Rhok'zan at the end, because getting her as far away from the hearts as possible and happy with Rhok'zi helps prolong its life. We don't even know if Rhok'zan's feelings towards Stardust are real. She lost control of The Woods, and I find it incredibly unlikely that a god of fertility would settle with an Asxeual Lesbian. Incredibly based if she genuinely did, but we have already established that The Woods are holding several sets of strings.
How Stardust even has the capacity to reject it? Easy. Nyan Nyan pointed out to her how ridiculous it would be for her to still go with Rhok'zan since at the end of the whole adventure the problem of the forest still hadn't been solved yet and the world is still being taken over. Also The Woods start laying it on a little too thick. Fumbled the bag catastrophic style. As shown with the main cast and especially Nannie, the woods cannot amplify 0. It's called the truth ending for a reason: The revelation that you have been manipulated the entire time.
The difficult thing to decipher is which ending is canon, since we can no longer bank on her not remembering what happened in previous runs. She is immortal, and doesn't need the books with the imperfect recollection they provide. Either she does learn the truth or she doesn't. I guess you can kind of see the truth ending as an inevitability, as theoretically the good ending could just keep happening over and over again throughout resets before Stardust eventually discovers the basement, but I'm saving my logical leaps on this one. No matter what ending happened, what the Truth ending implies still exists even if unseen by Stardust.
Like the people floating in space.

And So The Pin Finally Drops...

Now, frankly we don't know exactly what all those bodies floating in the abyss mean, they could mean many things, but we do know a few things:
  1. They are immortal in body.
  2. The only means of obtaining immortality in that way we know of is by committing the kiss of immortality.
  3. The only god we know has the kiss of immortality spell is Rhok'zan
Even assuming this spell can be conducted with gods other than Rhok'zi, this isn't a good look and has horrifying implications.
Many gods are known to have dated humans before. Now, logically speaking, with what we know from Date to Die For and humans getting a little gung-ho about dating their milf heartthrob, its safe to assume that MUU IS A FUCKING CUNT, EISENHOWER DAMN YOU. How many lovers of gods are just out there floating in the abyss? A possibly endless amount of people have gone through a similar process to attain immortality. The process of falling in love with a being of great power. We were so concerned with breaking their hearts, and they never stopped to worry about breaking ours. This isn't fair, chat. Dozens of people awaiting their gods to return, likely in vain. Discarded when the gods got bored and the love faded. Muu is a shepherd of the end times and she can't even commit to a ship! Essentially what I'm trying to say is:

Its All Muu's Fault

Muu is a creature from the bottom of the Goon Lagoon (also known as the Pacific Ocean), named as such because she was fogging up the waters from yoinking her sploink to Human x Eldritch-Being Smutography. Um, Based department? Nonetheless, she is in desperate need of a intervention. Muu has given gods like Ln'eta several boy/goyfriends like almonds into a furnace. Over and over again they have dated people, and over and over again they are cast aside for one reason or another. "Oh, maybe this time it'll stick-" If it looks like shit, smells like shit, walks and talks like shit, its shit. You do realize that there are 2 people in a relationship right? Like, out of both parties there is one of note that suffers the most adverse effects from your awful spells, and its not the cosmic being that holds reality together.
Muu's safe-word spells are dogshit too, since it doesn't stop the collapse of reality, it only lets you end it on your own terms. Honestly, pretty based since I for one am a fan of ending things on my own terms especially in spite of one who usually ends things on theirs, but reality is still ending. Plus, the god in question if they have yandere in their blood can just rip the page out no problem and then you cant even get out if you tried. In the wise words of Huey Emmerich, "WHAT A LOAD OF HORSESHIT!"
Possibly the worst consequence of Muu's actions was Buck. Muu was behind introducing Rhok'zan to him after all. She is known for mailing books to people she thinks would be a good fit for the god, but I cannot blame her for a failed relationship between 2 people barely involved with her. But, what I can blame her for is the metric fuckload of people just hovering in the abyss. How did they get there, Muu? How many kisses of immortality have you been giving out? Not all of these people could've just done it by accident like Buck, Muu. Muu is incredibly irresponsible with the position she has been given, phenomenal cosmic power shouldn't be given out willy nilly just so you can whack your willy. Granted, all of this could've been done by commission, we know that this has been the case at least once, but "I was following orders" is established to be a shit excuse on select few occasions like producing books capable of ending the whole fucking world, especially when you actively take enjoyment from it. Keep the smut to the pen and paper, please don't bring your fetishes to the real world, you shitling.
Muu has a legitimate problem, honestly. She is interested in the concept of love, but not the nuances that come with actually dating an eldritch entity, and especially not the nuances of dating a human. Life for eldritch beings is pretty much endless, so they likely feel comfortable just ending a long relationship on a dime. Humans are a lot more sensitive than that. The ideal relationship for a human is one where you can enjoy the other's company for the rest of your lives. Is that dream congruent with the concept of infinity? No, given time everything fades, you cannot expect the gods to try and keep up a relationship literally forever just like you can't expect a human to.
But I can blame them for lying about it. They demand pure and absolute devotion from their followers, and it is natural for their followers to expect the same from them. All those threats about never leaving them for another, and yet they are so eager to move on themselves.
At the very least I want to see some damn responsibility taken for their actions, as humanity is often the ones that have to deal with the consequences of them.

The Problem

When dating happens, its always in favor of the gods. After all, Muu's books are made for the gods' benefit. They aren't made for for the god to hook up with you, they are made for you to hook up with the god. There is no mutual respect held by the parties involved, you are always working to appease the other. If you fail to appease, then you are tossed aside. They demand devotion, not love. Aunt Nyan Nyan is willing to give "Love" a shot after all, but it is only when Darling no longer represents a variable that she cannot control.
The body mutilation is an especially horrifying part of the cycle. Imagine it like getting a tattoo of someone you loved. If that relationship were to fail, you are stuck with that tattoo and reminder for the rest of your life. Getting a normal tattoo like that is already seen as a rash decision, this type of tattoo cannot be hidden by clothing, it is blatant tainting of the human form. The mutilation is in service of making you more of the god's type, and the god never puts effort to make themselves the human's type to any degree. Any inch that they may give in the relationship is purely to help their own ego, so they don't feel like an asshole for all the torture they force their loved one into, however you'd be lucky if they even thought that much of it.
If your girl is:
  1. Someone that feels they own you
  2. A narcissist that demands pure, undivided attention at all times
  3. So passive that she losses control of literally the one thing she is responsible for
  4. Gilf
That's not your girl, that's a venus flytrap.
I don't say this in the sense that love between 2 beings in separate casts is impossible, just that in this world things are a lot more complicated. An entirely separate dimension of the relationship opens up when you can easily be replaced by the sands of time, plus all the other shit I mentioned. A lot of the gods just aren't ready for a commitment as strong as dating. They have to sort out their personal issues before they decide to make themselves an issue to the human race as a whole.
As humans, we are designed to get what is formally called "Big Mad Upset" when faced with injustice, and there is no greater injustice than a grand uncaring universe. The universe that these beings made. Every time the dream ends, billions upon billions of lives end due to The HorrorsTM. We know due to the existence of rotblooms, and we can infer logically from the universe "restarting" rather than resetting, that these people actually die. For realsies. Maybe a new you is formed in this identical universe, but its not the same you that died in the old one.
Now, imagining billions of people dying is a pretty tall ask, as you can barely imagine a million people. So, for the sake of this exercise, imagine your family. If you hate your family, imagine your friends. If you hate your friends, then imagine Wubzy from the hit show Wow Wow Wubzy. Wubzy is minding his own business, and then a demon pops up and devours his face. Wubzy is now dead. The universe ends eventually, and a new one begins. Reality follows a roughly similar trajectory, and Wubzy is born once more. Wubzy goes to school, gets a job, starts a family. Then Wubzy's face is eaten by that same demon, because Darling wanted to kiss an elder god. Again and again this process is continued, Wubzy's corpses clogging the arteries of the absence that comes after.
For eons this meat grinder of a universe has been eating people alive and they have had no choice in the matter, it's ending is only accelerated due to Muu's bullshit spells. How about you make a book that summons god without destabilizing reality to an irreparable degree, that's what humans would be most concerned with. But she doesn't care about humans, what she cares about love. Love needs no justification, its a feeling that must be pursued in spite of the consequences, no matter how many corpses must be laid in its wake. The love that she cares about, that between a lesser and a greater. Pray she doesn't start writing (more) NTR.
That is horror right there. Not necessarily an uncaring universe, it understands you plight, its just not afraid to step on your toes for its own goals. Ain't no single being on this cosmic totem pole has genuine concerns for humanity other than mere. petty. infatuation. There is no love, only lust. Ln'eta and Estir lust over Darling. Rhok'zan lusts over Stardust. Muu lusts over kinky smut. There is no depth, no respect, nothing. Only devotion. Just Monika.

The Themes, Man

My favorite thing in media is when I get to stare into the abyss and have it stare back, when a something is able to match my curiosity. On the surface, I saw big thiccums awooga women. That's all it could've been, but when I looked deeper I found themes of Love and Devotion, how infinity influences our current concepts of them. Falling in love with eldritch entities is an incredible twist on the concept, since love and worship are similar concepts when you think about it. Just under the epidermis, you get a story of humans seeking comfort in beings as imperfect as themselves, just given the privilege of eternal life and infinite power. These beings seek devotion from those same people, but for one reason or another are either unwilling or incapable of fulfilling their end of the bargain in a relationship like this. Nobody is owed eternal love, but the problem is that it is exactly what these gods promise. They promise that they will be together forever and make the cost of being with them match that reward (body mutilation, ending the world, threats of death), but it is ultimately something they cannot provide.
It makes me so happy to just look for something in a game and to find it there, just waiting to be explored. 'Fuckin love this game, instant A-tier. I am fully aware that I like this game for wildly different reasons than the common man, but we still share the quality of enjoying it.
I would love to see Man and God unified in holy matrimony, mainly since I'm into tall women who could kill me with a thought but also because I like happy endings. The warmth that would fill my soul to see a truly loving and healthy relationship in this setting would greatly influence climate change and the melting of the Arctic. But Date To Die For puts into question how achievable this goal really is. After all, there are only around 50 gods total. Its a lot, but its not enough to be confident in the existence of the fabled "not bitch" classification of god.

In Conclusion

Sucker for love takes place in a universe where human life and feelings are not of concern. For a time a god may love you likewise, but they demand much more than they are willing to give back. When they get bored, or the human loses their usefulness, they are quick to discard the ones that they "love" and leave them to the infinite abyss that is the space between reality. Relationships are a two way street, and we have yet to see the gods attempt to cross in a significant and meaningful way.
If you liked my ramblings be sure to like, comment, and go fuck yourself. If there was something I missed and makes me look like an idiot, you would be seriously owning me by mentioning it in the comments, and it gives me the opportunity to use it to further inform my opinions. That or I can ignore it in service of my biases.
Fuck the gods. No matter the level of unhingedness I have achieved within the period I have spent writing this, my point remains. Date human women. End communication ---
submitted by Craigrr7 to suckerforlove [link] [comments]


2024.05.09 19:33 theultimatepodcast Comparing my way-too-early 2024 mock draft to the actual draft

If you want to check out the full article, you can do so here: https://withthefirstpick.com/posts/chris-mcglynn-comparing-my-way-too-early-mock-draft-to-the-2024-nfl-draft-01hx04j216sc
History is usually not too kind way-too-early mock drafts. Spencer Rattler, Eli Ricks and many more have opened the draft cycle as highly-touted prospects who failed to live up to expectations. Many more have seen their "stock fall" in large part because their tape is put under the microscope, revealing that they never should have been that highly regarded in the first place.
And so, it is time for one of my favorite exercises. I am taking my way-too-early mock draft for 2024 and comparing it to what happened at the draft in Detroit. It is a great way to see how much has changed in a year. Several prospects lived up to the hype, many more fell off and others still came from way off the radar to be high draft picks.
1. Way-too-early pick: Arizona Cardinals - Caleb Williams, QB, USC Actual draft pick: Chicago Bears via Carolina Panthers - Caleb Williams, QB, USC
This one should come as no surprise. Williams was seen as the top quarterback in this draft from the very beginning, and while some will argue Drake Maye was worthy of the top pick, there was never really any doubt that Williams would be the first selection. Turns out the Cardinals were a bit better than we all expected and the first year of the Bryce Young experience was a bitter disappointment.
2. Way-too-early pick: Arizona Cardinals via Houston Texans - Marvin Harrison Jr., WR, Ohio State Actual draft pick: Washington Commanders - Jayden Daniels, QB, LSU
Remember when we all thought the Cardinals could have the top two picks in the draft? Don't blame me, blame the sportsbooks. Turns out the Texans were way better in C.J. Stroud's and DeMeco Ryans’ debut campaign. Still, the Cardinals did wind up taking Harrison, just at No. 4, not No. 2. As for Daniels, he was a player I was really excited about heading into the 2024 draft cycle, but I did not have him in the first round of this mock. He took a huge step as a passer and leader in his second season at LSU, propelling him into this spot.
3. Way-too-early pick: Indianapolis Colts - Olu Fashanu, OT, Penn State Actual draft pick: New England Patriots - Drake Maye, QB, UNC
Fashanu entered the 2024 in a fierce competition for Joe Alt for the top tackle spot. Alt took some major strides in 2023. Fashanu had the same issues pop up regarding his play strength and overall power. In the end, Fashanu still wound up going in the top half of the first round. For the Colts, expectations were low after drafting Anthony Richardson. Even when the No. 4 pick in the 2023 draft went down, Shane Steichen got this team to compete and really turned the outlook for Indianapolis around heading into 2024. We will talk more about Maye in just a moment.
4. Way-too-early pick: Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Drake Maye, QB, UNC Actual draft pick: Arizona Cardinals - Marvin Harrison Jr., WR, Ohio State
I will admit, I did not see Baker Mayfield leading the Buccaneers to the playoffs and landing a big extension in the offseason. Let's remember that he opened training camp in a quarterback battle with Kyle Trask! That was put to bed quickly, Tampa wound up winning the division and knocking out Philly in the wildcard round before falling short against the Lions. Maye came into the cycle with a top of hype, but ultimately had an uneven year with a worse supporting cast. I believe in his upside, but he is a bit of a project as he heads to New England. Harrison was my top player on the board heading all the way back in May of 2023. That never changed and he was the first non-quarterback off the board.
5. Way-too-early pick: Tennessee Titans - Brock Bowers, TE, Georgia Actual draft pick: Los Angeles Chargers - Joe Alt, OT, Notre Dame
Bowers was a known quantity heading into this draft cycle. Injuries and a lengthy debate about his positional value pushed him down the board. He might be the best tight end prospect we have had in nearly two decades, but given the lackluster impact of Kyle Pitts so far (more of a coaching issue than a talent issue it seems), teams backed off taking Bowers so early. Alt, who I mentioned before when talking about Fashanu, was seen as a top-10 candidate given his size, length and experience. He made some small improvements as a pass blocker in 2023, which I think gave him the edge over the rest of the tackles in the draft class.
6. Way-too-early pick: Washington Commanders - Quinn Ewers, QB, Texas Actual draft pick: New York Giants - Malik Nabers, WR, LSU We have found our first major outlier from the way-too-early mock. Ewers had an up-and-down season, ultimately deciding to return to Austin for his senior year. I clearly learned nothing from this exercise, because I projected Ewers at No. 6 in my 2025 way-too-early mock, coincidentally to the Giants. Meanwhile, Nabers put together another impressive season, leading to months of debate as to who WR1 in this class truly was. I stuck with Harrison, but Nabers was one of the highest graded players I scouted in this draft cycle. He has superstar potential in New York.
7. Way-too-early pick: Atlanta Falcons - Jared Verse, EDGE, Florida State Actual draft pick: Tennessee Titans - J.C. Latham, OT, Alabama
I promise, I am not trying to draw anymore attention to the fact that we all expected the Falcons to draft an edge rusher in the top 10. We all know by now what Atlanta opted to do instead, so let's focus on Verse. He had top-15 buzz in the 2023 draft, but returned to school for one more season. I don't know that it hurt him in any way, because there is a chance a deeper dive into his film and the pre-draft process could have seen him slip down the board a bit. He had another impressive year at Florida State and wound up going inside the top-20 to the Rams. As for Latham, this was the first real reach of the draft for me. I think he is a bit raw and I have questions about his ability to thrive at tackle in the NFL in general, much less making the switch to playing left tackle. He goes to a great situation with Bill Calahan to lead his development, but this is a risky proposition to say the least.
8. Way-too-early pick: Chicago Bears via Carolina Panthers - Joe Alt, OT, Notre Dame Actual draft pick: Atlanta Falcons - Michael Penix Jr., QB, Washington
This was the biggest stunner of the draft. We have picked apart why that is ad nauseam by this point. Let's talk more about Penix. He was iffy to be a first-round pick, much less a top-10 selection last summer. He was still only a year removed from an injury-plagued career at Indiana at that point. This is an interesting position for him to land in, but I am a big fan of the player.
9. Way-too-early pick: Los Angeles Rams - Bo Nix, QB, Oregon Actual draft pick: Chicago Bears - Rome Odunze, WR, Washington
I was a bit too high on Nix heading into the 2023 season, but this wound up being only three spots earlier than he was actually selected. I thought he would have been a good candidate to eventually replace Matthew Stafford, who has struggled with injuries in recent seasons. Los Angeles still has not identified an heir apparent, but the Rams also had a much better season than this projection expected. The Bears ended up in this slot, taking one of the most entertaining players in college football in Odunze, who I had mocked just a little later on. He will form a terrifying trio with Keenan Allen and D.J. Moore in Chicago.
10. Way-too-early pick: New England Patriots - Emeka Egbuka, WR, Ohio State Actual draft pick: Minnesota Vikings via New York Jets - J.J. McCarthy, QB, Michigan
There is a lot to unpack here. For starters, Egbuka had an injury-riddled year and wound up returning to school. He figures to be in the conversation to go in the first round in 2025. The Patriots had a much worse season than this, thanks in part to Mac Jones flaming out. Then there is McCarthy. He was not talked about a ton as a legitimate candidate to be drafted. He had shown flashes as a true sophomore, but keep in mind that he wasn't the designated starter to open the 2022 season. That was Cade McNamara. He saw a massive jump in his completion percentage and made big plays in key moments as Michigan won a national championship. He is going to need some seasoning and it will be interesting to see what happens when he is asked to be more than a game manager. The talent is there and this is a great landing spot for him under Kevin O'Connell.
11. Way-too-early pick: Pittsburgh Steelers - Kool-Aid McKinstry, CB, Alabama Actual draft pick: New York Jets via Minnesota Vikings - Olu Fashanu, OT, Penn State
McKinstry was the top corner on my radar heading into the 2023 season. He had his moments of brilliance, but struggled at points too, specifically against Adonai Mitchell. Additionally, his medical exam at the NFL combine revealed a Jones fracture in his foot, which likely pushed him down boards slightly. He landed in the second round with the Saints on draft day and has every chance to earn a starting spot.
12. Way-too-early pick: Las Vegas Raiders - Kalen King, CB, Penn State Actual draft pick: Denver Broncos - Bo Nix, QB, Oregon
This projection did not work out well. King had a rocky 2023 campaign, highlighted by a really rough showing against Marvin Harrison Jr. A poor pre-draft process, including subpar measurables and testing numbers saw King slide all the way to the seventh round. Perhaps he will bounce back and recapture some of his 2022 form in Green Bay, but his draft stock tanked throughout the season. For the Raiders, corner was and still is a need for them, but they opted to offense early before taking Decamerion Richardson in the fourth round.
13. Way-too-early pick: Chicago Bears - Laiatu Latu, EDGE, UCLA Actual draft pick: Las Vegas Raiders - Brock Bowers, TE, Georgia
Latu was one of my favorite prospects throughout the draft process. He was my highest rated defender heading into the draft and ended up being the first defender selected just a couple picks after this spot. He is about as technical a pass rusher we have ever seen coming out of college. Chicago chose to go offense instead with its two first round picks, but Latu would have been an excellent fit across from Montez Sweat.
14. Way-too-early pick: Green Bay Packers - J.C. Latham, OT, Alabama Actual draft pick: New Orleans Saints - Tailese Fuaga, OT, Oregon State
Turns out, Jordan Love was a lot better than we anticipated and the Packers were picking nowhere near this point. Latham actually came off the board before this point, so the Saints turned to Fuaga instead. He was a major riser this season, hat tip to Trevor Sikkema for championing him earlier than anyone else I can remember. His fluid movement skills for a player his size makes him an intriguing option to eventually flip to left tackle in the NFL.
15. Way-too-early pick: New York Giants - Rome Odunze, WR, Washington Actual draft pick: Indianapolis Colts - Laiatu Latu, EDGE, UCLA
It was no secret the Giants needed wide receiver help. We knew that way back in May of 2023. New York's season ended up going much worse than this, with Daniel Jones struggling early before suffering a season-ending injury. The Giants were actually heavily linked to Odunze throughout the draft process and he would have been a great fit.
16. Way-too-early pick: Seattle Seahawks - Jer'Zhan Newton, DL, Illinois Actual draft pick: Seattle Seahawks - Byron Murphy, DL, Texas
Clearly, the sportsbooks nailed this one. I will give myself some partial credit here as well. Seattle needed defensive line help in a big way. They traded for Leonard Williams at the deadline and still wound up selecting Murphy on draft day. Newton wound up sliding into the second round, which surprised a lot of analysts. He had a great season for Illinois and looked like a first-round pick, even if not quite this high. Meanwhile, Murphy lands in a perfect situation to thrive at the NFL level.
17. Way-too-early pick: Minnesota Vikings - Dallas Turner, EDGE, Alabama Actual draft pick: Minnesota Vikings via Jacksonville Jaguars - Dallas Turner, EDGE, Alabama
It's better to be lucky than good. I would love to take credit here for projecting a first draft pick nearly a year ahead of time, but I think this is an excellent illustration of how difficult it is to predict what will happen in the NFL draft. I had Turner as the third edge rusher off the board in my way-too-early mock, behind Verse and Latu. When the draft actually rolled around, I expected Turner to be the first edge rusher selected, likely in the top 10. A historic run on offensive players pushed him down the board to this point. He had a really strong 2023 season and has elite athleticism. His ceiling is incredibly high at the next level.
18. Way-too-early pick: Denver Broncos - Maason Smith, DL, LSU Actual draft pick: Cincinnati Bengals - Amarius Mims, OT, Georgia
Smith was such a projection pick this early in the process. Then again, I guess every pick was. Anyway, Smith is such a rare athletic talent, but he was coming off a torn ACL this past season. He had a fine season, but nothing that warranted a first-round selection. He landed in the second round with the Jaguars. Perhaps, Smith will look even better two years removed from his injury. On the other hand, we have Mims, who is still a relative unknown. He has ideal traits and size to be a high-level starter in the NFL. However, due to injuries and talent ahead of him at Georgia, he only has eight collegiate starts. He will essentially get a redshirt year in Cincinnati, assuming Trent Brown can stay healthy, before likely taking over at right tackle in 2025.
19. Way-too-early pick: New Orleans Saints - J.T. Tuimoloau, EDGE, Ohio State Actual draft pick: Los Angeles Rams - Jared Verse, EDGE, Florida State
Ohio State messed with a lot of the depth in this draft class, bringing back a ton of draft eligible talent for another run. Tuimoloau is a strong player, but he hasn't really shown much development as a pass rusher. He has 12 career sacks in three seasons, and it is not for a lack of opportunity or playing time. For what it is worth, I did not include him in my way-too-early mock for 2025. I think he projects more as a Day 2 rotational player than a potentially impact starter.
20. Way-too-early pick: Houston Texans via Cleveland Browns - Jeremiah Trotter Jr., LB, Clemson Actual draft pick: Pittsburgh Steelers - Troy Fautanu, OT, Washington
It turns out, we might have overrated the Clemson defense a little bit. Trotter is a fun player, flying around and getting to the ball, but he is undersized and lacks the ideal agility required to start at the NFL level. I will say, I do love that he landed with the Eagles, where his dad spent the majority of his career. While Trotter's stock slipped throughout the season, Fautanu's skyrocketed. Thought by most to be a guard, he put those questions to rest at the combine, measuring in with longer arms than Joe Alt. He is a brawler with great play strength. He fits Pittsburgh so well and has the potential to be the team's long-term starter at left tackle.
21. Way-too-early pick: Los Angeles Chargers - Ja'Tavion Sanders, TE, Texas Actual draft pick: Miami Dolphins - Chop Robinson, EDGE, Penn State
When you look at where the Chargers were expected to be picking and then compare it to where they actually picked, you get a pretty clear picture as to why Brandon Staley was fired. Los Angeles is still in need of a tight end, with Will Dissley and Hayden Hurst the top two options at the position, but that will wait until next year, maybe until when Jim Harbaugh can draft Colston Loveland. Sanders wound up sliding all the way to the fourth round, which felt a bit harsh for a player as dynamic in space at the position. That being said, first round was too rich a projection as well. He lacks physicality and struggles as a blocker. As for Robinson, I did not have him in my way-too-early mock. I watched him against Ohio State in 2022 and did not see a first-round talent. I was low on Robinson throughout the process and thought this was a little earlier than he should have gone. He is a great athlete, but he is unrefined and had little production at Penn State.
22. Way-too-early pick: Miami Dolphins - Raheim Sanders, RB, Arkansas Actual draft pick: Philadelphia Eagles - Quinyon Mitchell, CB, Toledo
This one did not pan out so well for me. I loved Sanders coming into the process. He had over 1,700 yards from scrimmage and 12 touchdowns for Arkansas in 2022. He followed that up 284 yards from scrimmage and two touchdowns in just six games due to injury. His yards per attempt also plummeted from 6.5 to 3.4. He wound up transferring to South Carolina. We will see if he can bounce back and get himself back into top 100 consideration for 2025. Meanwhile, Mitchell went the other direction. He was a small school star with some consideration, but he proved he could contend at the Senior Bowl and wound up being the first corner selected. He could be a Day 1 starter in Philly.
23. Way-too-early pick: Jacksonville Jaguars - Cooper DeJean, CB, Iowa Actual draft pick: Jacksonville Jaguars via Minnesota Vikings & Houston Texans - Brian Thomas Jr., WR, LSU
The Jaguars ended up picking here after a trade down with the Vikings. DeJean inexplicably slid out of the first round, but he was definitely a first-round talent. Even after suffering a season-ending injury at Iowa, he returned for a great pre-draft workout and his tape is first-round caliber. He landed with the Eagles in the second round. Thomas benefitted from Jayden Daniels' Heisman season and a clear spot in the starting lineup. He entered the 2023 season with 770 yards and seven touchdowns through his first two years combined. He posted 1,177 yards and an FBS-leading 17 touchdowns in a monster breakout season. He will be a great field-stretching option in Jacksonville.
24. Way-too-early pick: Detroit Lions - Jack Sawyer, EDGE, Ohio State Actual draft pick: Detroit Lions via Dallas Cowboys - Terrion Arnold, CB, Alabama
The offseason hype around the Lions turned out to be warranted. Detroit had to trade up to pick at No. 24. They took Arnold, which fills a huge void on their defense. He is a hard-nosed tackler with good ball skills. He started the year in Kool-Aid McKinstry's proverbial draft shadow, but ended up surpassing his teammate by the time the draft rolled around. Meanwhile, Sawyer, like J.T. Tuimoloau, returned to school for another year. He is similar in that he has great strength, but lacks the production to go with it. He has a future as an edge setting defender, but he does not generate enough pressure to warrant first-round consideration heading into the 2024 season.
25. Way-too-early pick: Baltimore Ravens - Michael Hall Jr., DL, Ohio State Actual draft pick: Green Bay Packers - Jordan Morgan, OT, Arizona
It is funny now to look back and think the Ravens had a pressing need at defensive tackle. Justin Madubuike had a breakout year with 13 sacks that resulted in All-Pro honors, a Pro Bowl spot and a massive contract extension. Hall wouldn't have been the pick anyway. He is a great interior pass rusher, but is undersized and struggles to win consistently at the point of attack. He landed with Cleveland in the second round. Regarding the pick that did happen, Morgan looked much sharper in his second year removed from a torn ACL suffered in 2021. There are some concerns about his length when it comes to his ability to play tackle in the NFL, but the Packers have never shied away from moving college tackles into interior offensive line spots.
26. Way-too-early pick: Dallas Cowboys - TreVeyon Henderson, RB, Ohio State Actual draft pick: Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Graham Barton, OL, Duke
Projecting an Ohio State running back to the Cowboys isn't the worst thing I could have done. Dallas still desperately needs running back help after passing on the position entirely. Henderson returned to Columbus for another year after an inconsistent season and will compete for touches in a backfield that now features Ole Miss transfer Quinshon Judkins. Barton is another college offensive tackle whose future lies on the interior of the offensive line at the NFL level. He was on the radar, but had a great pre-draft process to push him into the first round.
27. Way-too-early pick: Green Bay Packers via New York Jets - Andrew Mukuba, S, Clemson Actual draft pick: Arizona Cardinals - Darius Robinson, DL, Missouri
Mukuba had a lot of traction heading into the season, but injuries led him to returning to school and transferring to his hometown team in Austin. The Packers had a clear need at safety as well, signing Xavier McKinney to a big deal this offseason. As a Jets fan, just a quick moment to savor when the Jets were thought to be Super Bowl contenders with Aaron Rodgers, which is why this pick was projected to belong to the Packers. For Robinson, this was a surprising rise for a player with very little production or fanfare heading into the season. He broke out with 8.5 sacks and then had a phenomenal week at the Senior Bowl. This was still a bit early for my liking, but he has the versatility and power to hang around the league for a long time.
28. Way-too-early pick: Cincinnati Bengals - Calen Bullock, S, USC Actual draft pick: Kansas City Chiefs via Buffalo Bills - Xavier Worthy, WR, Texas
Bullock is a ball-hawking safety with excellent ball production from his time at USC. However, one of the biggest issues for him, and most of the USC defense, was his inability to tackle. A big part of that is that at 188 pounds, he is in the second percentile for weight at the safety position. He wound up landing with Houston in the third round as a result. Meanwhile, the Chiefs traded up with the Bills again to land a speedster at wide receiver. More on Worthy in just a second.
29. Way-too-early pick: Buffalo Bills - Xavier Worthy, WR, Texas Actual draft pick: Dallas Cowboys via Detroit Lions - Tyler Guyton, OT, Oklahoma
Oh how close this was to actually happening. Worthy was on the board for the Bills at 28 and they needed a receiver in a bad way. Instead, Buffalo traded down and Worthy is now the newest weapon for Patrick Mahomes. The Texas star has a very slight frame, but broke the 40-yard dash record at the combine this year. He will change how teams have to defend Kansas City. His draft stock clearly did not shift a whole lot from where he was initially projected to where he landed. The same cannot be said for Guyton. He was not really in the conversation heading into the 2023 season, but he has exciting intangibles despite his lack of experience. In a couple years, he could look like a steal at this spot.
30. Way-too-early pick: San Francisco 49ers - Akheem Mesidor, DL, Miami Actual draft pick: Baltimore Ravens - Nate Wiggins, CB, Clemson
Mesidor remains a prospect I will be watching closely for the 2025 draft. He had a great first season with Miami in 2022 after transferring from West Virginia. Unfortunately, he suffered a season-ending injury just three games into the 2023 season. I did not have Wiggins in my way-too-early mock, and in retrospect, I probably should have. He was the Clemson defender I overlooked. He has great speed, impressive effort and top-tier ball skills. He lasted to the end of the round because of his slight frame and questionable tackling in space. I have no doubt Baltimore will find a way to get the most out of him.
31. Way-too-early pick: Philadelphia Eagles - Kingsley Suamataia, OT, BYU Actual draft pick: San Francisco 49ers - Ricky Pearsall, WR, Florida
Philly picked much earlier than this on draft day as their Super Bowl hangover finally hit in the second half of the season. I was high on Suamataia heading into the season, but he still has a bit of a ways to go from a development standpoint to make it to be a starter. He landed with the Chiefs in the second round. The 49ers got back to the Super Bowl, but fell short and John Lynch decided he wanted more firepower on offense. Whether this means Brandon Aiyuk or Deebo Samuel is on the way out or not, Pearsall should have a role in this offense early. He is a reliable playmaker with inside-outside versatility.
32. Way-too-early pick: Kansas City Chiefs - Troy Franklin, WR, Oregon Actual draft pick: Carolina Panthers via Buffalo Bills & Kansas City Chiefs - Xavier Legette, WR, South Carolina
The Chiefs did wind up selecting a wide receiver in the first round, just not Franklin. It was a bit of a shock to see Franklin slide as far as he did. He was not a first-round talent as I had initially thought, but I figured he would go mid-to-late second round, not in the early fourth. He was very productive at Oregon, but a slight frame and small hands likely pushed him down draft boards. That being said, I like his landing spot with his college quarterback in Denver. On the other hand, Leggette was on no one's radar heading into the season. In his first four seasons at South Carolina, he was largely a special teamer with 423 career receiving yards. He exploded with 1,255 receiving yards and seven touchdowns. He is a hometown kid with a chance to play a major role in his first season. He should be one of Bryce Young's top targets this year.
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2024.05.09 17:27 Key-Record8141 The times I've died and what I experienced and continue to experience today!

The times I've died and what I experienced and continue to experience today!
Hello, my name is Robert. I'd like to tell you about the 2 times I died... both of which was because I was smoking K2. Which I have A.D.D. which means my frontal and pre-frontal lobe of my brain wasn't fully developed when I was born and grows at a slower rate than a normal during development. So when I'd smoke to much, breathing would no longer be a involuntary motion. I instead would have to keep my self breathing for the 15 to 20 mins during the high. Chain smoking cigarettes was the only thing that kept me taking in some sort of oxygen intake. So I'm at my buddys and his house sits between streets and they own their plot normal suburban neighborhood in Kansas City. and my buddy lived with his grandparents and 2 uncles one that was a like a year older than us, they were Guatemalan and speak Mayan. Or what is left of it, only what's been passed down by word of mouth throughout the generations. Conquistadors burned their books and written language. They fill in with Spanish where they don't have words. It sounds a little choppy, like you took a Spanish sentence and chop it up with a knife. His grandpa would always mess with us when we smoked. so we're are parked in a van on the street than ran behind his house. His back door to the the street was at least 45-60 yards of grass in between. I hit this bong and the only lighter I had was a torch. Which I took a way bigger hit than I intended on taking and I was young didn't realize what was going on or what was happening at the time until the second time I died. This one happened Oct 10, 2010 11:30pm and after exhaling breathing was beginning to become more of a voluntary process. I didn't really smoke cigarettes at the time. I was in high school still. in the van there one of my boys in the driver seat Alex in the front passenger seat im sitting behind him and our other friend is sitting in the other captain's to my left. I only remembered to breath for about 2 and a half minutes into the high tops. and after a few minutes, I look out my window and see a bright light coming from in his yard up next to the back door. and I said, "Alex, I think your grandpa is trying to get your attention!" which it seemed like noone had heard me. Which like I said his grandpa had been known to shine a flashlight at us, everytime he got a new one and was trying to show it off. He'd always mess with us. he got a kick out of it. After being ignored by everyone for a few seconds, I decided I was gonna go up and say hi and ask how he was doing. As I reach for the door I just kinda fell to the grass and stood up and just started walking almost as if I was being drawn to it. As I was about 15 ft from it I stopped and had a thought, I don't remember closing the door. hell I didn't remember opening the door... I turn around and see a closed van door and I see my silhouette still sitting in the back seat door still shut. I then thought about running back to the van. Almost transporting from where I was right outside the passenger door I went through the door and I was standing in my in Alex trying to slap him to get his attention, yelling for someone to wake me up. My hand went straight through his face. I went through him stood in my feet kinda charge myself and sat back down into my body. Almost felt like I was Goku going super-sain in DBZ. As soon I came to, I threw the sliding door open and began projectile puking forever before stopping. I remember having a really bad headache and felt like shit... The second time I died happened September 11, 2013. This was also the last time I ever smoked K2. So I was at a friends house, where everyone usually hung out. Before I smoked I knew I was in for a 15 to 20 high and I had 2 cigs left one would take 7 mins or so I'd have to breath on my own 5 mins light my last one and that will get me through the high and it would become a involuntary movement again. So I smoked my first one waited a few mins and light my last one half way through my boy walks in with a pipe and asks if I want a hit. I told him I was good. He said. "don't be a pussy." I said I was good again and he started saying pussy repeatedly and to shut him I grabbed the pipe and took a small hit (which was way more than i needed) and gave the pipe back. I then took the last hit of my cigarette, and put it in the ashtray. As I sat there watching TV, not remembering to breathe, I eventually faded black. a few seconds later I was standing in front of these 2 doors which were made of what looked like solid gold but had a wood-grain appearance to them. which were absolutely huge. Like easily 200' to 300' tall and probably 110' wide. As I got closer I could hear a man and a women almost arguing about something that was going on. I could tell he was moving from right and left and the women was stationary, not moving. when I got to the door, the door just barely opened and I had at least a football field on either side of me as I walked through. then I seen them... He stood in front of me in the middle of this room. He looked how Zeus would be pretrayed having godly physique, while being over 100' was only about 30' shorter than the doors. I'm 6' tall and wasn't even at the ball of his ankle. Them women was sitting at what to us would be a bar height table. She was wearing a white dress with gold rings holding the sleeves on the dress. like the ancient Greek or Roman empire. I couldn't see either one of their faces because of a black fog/mist. that moved like a plasma bubble around their head. They both turned and looked at me. He asked "What are you doing here? You're not supposed to be here yet!" in a real deep monotone voice. Idk if it was by mouth or if it was telepathically, but I replied, "Where is here?" He said " you should know that by now." which immediately felt like I was in a very familiar place felt like home. which he asked agian, "What are you doing here? You're not supposed to be here yet!" which I explained how I arrived. As he walked to the table and grabbed something from the table and started walking towards the right side of this huge room. which had the only way I can describe it that will make sense to us, think of an ivory like bird bath with a blue plasma like dome over the top of the bath. he threw whatever he grabbed and said "I don't need you yet when this happens I'll need you!" I asked "when will the happen?" he replied "Sooner than later!" with emphasis on the sooner part. Soon I begain falling through the clouds on an almost molecular level like seen and felt individual water droplets eventually breaking through to an almost google maps look to the neighborhood slowly zooming in towards the ground. when I went through the roof I seen individual grains of sand in the shingles and tar and tar paper atoms, the individual plys in the wood roof. I went through 3 totes of Christmas ornaments and a box that contained a christmas tree that was above me in the attice sheet rock ceiling into my body. I was in the corner of the living room kicked back in a recliner. When I landed, I immediately jumped out of the chair gasping for air. my brain felt like it was on fire, I believe due to lack of oxygen. The way I proved to myself that what I experienced was real and actually happened occurred the following month. I was over there and my friends dad's gf was like my aunt one of my moms good friends known for awhile was packed Thanksgiving decorations up and I knew they needed to go into the attic and knew the Christmas needed to come down and wanted to know. so I open the attic door in the ceiling pull the stairs down go into this attic that I've never been in before and walk over to the corner of the attic and sure enough there was 3 totes of ornaments and a tree in a box. ever since that day my third eye is completely open. I've always seen and heard things but now I see my day to day life days weeks months sometimes years before they happened. just extremely out of order. I've seen deaths and funerals before they happen. pretty much everytime I get that deja vu brick wall feeling which happens to me daily multiple times throughout, I've seen it and remember the conversations that are happening during . which during these there is the current me that's in this present time of me sleeping and one of which is from that time period and present me asks future me questions about what's going on and future me gives answers. and during the deja vu moments the then present me has the random questions that past me asked comes through as thoughts at the deja vu and I answer them as thoughts which happens to be word for word the conversation I had in the vision. so I've learned to be as thorough as possible when I'm asking questions so I get the most information for the event that I'm seeing...
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2024.05.09 15:43 Sad-Expression-9332 I was scammed and didn’t realize I was a slave in a real estate grift for a year.

A guy I used to date offered me a real estate partnership in November 2022. I declined, as I had a promising job offer in aviation technology that I felt would be a more responsible career move. I wrecked my car and life wasn’t going well, so by February of 2023, my friend flew to Albuquerque (where I was based out of) in order to help me repair my wrecked vehicle. By this time, I was working in aviation and I picked up a side gig as an accounting clerk for a major motion picture studio. They asked me to go to LA, my friend offered me the real estate partnership again. I chose real estate partnership.
We packed up my car and drove to Alabama after eliminating most of my possessions through sale or donation, and I moved to Wylam, Alabama in March of 2023.
I also had an apartment in San Juan, PR. We flew down to the island at the end of April 2023 and found my apartment had been looted and it was devastating to me. However, we had intended to close out that lease and bring whatever stuff we could back to Alabama any way, so by May of 2023, we were back in Alabama, having asked repeatedly before leaving Puerto Rico, “Are you sure you still want to do this?”
Yep. Still on board.
The house was in horrifying shape. 1.8 acres, a 5 room house built in 1920, all original hardwood floors and tongue in groove wood walls were protected by asbestos dry wall and layers of lead paint from the damage a family of animal borders had done to the property. There were rooms that were literally sealed off until Thanksgiving 2023, which we spent removing the last of the animal carcasses from the original kitchen.
It had a yard full of invasive privet, which I fought back and even chopped out the root balls and stump from the larger ones. There was water that would flow into the basement when it rained, so I dug out trenches to try to divert the water. I removed lead paint from baseboards and original doors. I dug out a side walk that had long ago been covered by dirt and tree roots, so it was not an easy task. I tore out dry wall, cleaned, patched holes and cracks, primed, painted, and set up furniture in multiple rooms.
The point I’m trying to make is that I busted my ass and did a lot of the hard work nobody else wanted to do. My partner treated me like an assistant and was constantly telling me what to do and behaving in a condescending way.
It seemed worth it for an equity stake of the property. He paid 15,000 for it and by August 2023, the property tax people reassessed the value (without even seeing the progress we had made on the inside of the house) of 109,000.
At this point, I was informed that I was not a part of a real estate partnership and that I was not going to be added to the deed, like I was anticipating based on my partner offering to put me on the deed prior to his month of vacation to Fire island/ Washington DC (July -August 2023) On this trip he lied to me about what he was doing and was having a honeymoon with some other guy). Then he came back for a month, told me I wasn’t allowed to continue renovating things because he would not be paying me for anything I did. So I stopped. I started refinishing some furniture instead. After two weeks of him being forced to work solo, he claimed that what he meant was that I wouldn’t be put on the deed, and instead we would need to reevaluate contract negotiations. He left for another trip to Fire Island/ Puerto Rico that lasted September-October 2023. At this point in time he decided that I needed to bring in more money because my unemployment had run out and he didn’t want to support me. Fair. By the end of October I had a new job and began full time employment as a traveling equipment repair specialist. Home on weekends and some week day nights depending on job site location.
My partner seemed to be very jealous and went on another vacation in November for a week to North Carolina to see a friend. Then he went on another vacation for a week to New Orleans in December 2023 to see a different friend. Then he went to Florida to see friends and family February-March 2024.
Meanwhile, I’m working a full time job and continue restorations and repairs to the property on weekends and in the evening. At the end of April, I’m informed that I need to move out as soon as possible because I am too much stress to be around and I’m not easy to work with. (That is an insane claim because he hasn’t been there very much over the last year, and I’m not even home most of the time during the week, since I started my new job.) I’m also informed that I have no legal rights because I never signed a lease agreement and the partnership agreement that he drafted in November of 2022, and sent to me again before my decision to move out of Albuquerque in February 2023 was not legally binding so I wasn’t going to be compensated with equity on the property as per the partnership agreement. I also had no legal right to stay at the house and was a “guest” at the property, not a resident or tenant. So I have missed work to facilitate this move. I have had to get a storage unit because I had not anticipated where I would go next, because I was led to believe I was a partial owner. I make too much for state funded legal assistance. I have ARAG legal insurance through my employer, but this type of case tends to have a low profit yield, so I can’t find legal representation through them because nobody will take the case. I’ve reached out to like 8 different attorneys. No joke.
So now I’m homeless and some guy that I’ve known for 15+ years and was in a pseudosexual relationship with for the first few months of this endeavor has now absorbed a year of my labor and spent the better part of the time he was home treating me like a personal assistant.
What do I do? A friend of mine called the human trafficking hotline for me and I followed up providing personal information on the homeowner, but they did not seem especially interested in investigating the matter.
Seriously, this is a situation that has basically destroyed me mentally and emotionally, not to mention the health complications I could have caused by being around so much hazardous material in and around the property.
Now I’m homeless. And soon to be jobless because it is difficult to be a relatable employee while living out of my car.
Help?
submitted by Sad-Expression-9332 to Scams [link] [comments]


2024.05.08 18:32 hallach_halil Undrafted free agents from 2024 who could make an early impact:

Undrafted free agents from 2024 who could make an early impact:
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The 2024 NFL Draft has come and gone, as we wrap up our extensive coverage of this stage of the league calendar. Before we sort of transition over into the final stages of discussing how teams have built up their rosters, discussing how the new additions fit in across my divisional draft and roster review series starting next week, I wanted to show some love to a few players who didn’t actually hear their names called over the course of the weekend in Detroit.
Just last year, I called out Bears quarterback Tyson Bagent, who ended up starting four games, Vikings linebacker Ivan Pace Jr., who was a borderline Pro Bowl performer, and Buccaneers defensive back Christian Izien, who was their quasi-starter in the slot. So there’s always still talent to be found once the draft is wrapped up and while opportunity has to be taken into account here, in the right situation there are UDFAs that could play significant roles as early as this season, even if it’s not in a starting capacity necessarily.
Here are some names, who I believe are capable of contributing and are in a situation where they could get a chance to do so:
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RB DeShaun Fenwick, Oregon State – New England Patriots

This was actually one of the first players I wrote about during this pre-draft process, when I outlined him as one of the biggest standouts from the 2024 college all-star events, having watched him consistency showing up in positive ways during East-West Shrine Bowl practices. Funnily enough, I talked a lot about what Fenwick did during one-on-ones as a receiver in that piece, considering he only hauled in 30 passes across 50 career games between South Carolina and Oregon State. You saw him detach from guys down the field on corner and streak routes, but really what stood out was his attention to detail in that regard, altering tempo, throwing in rocker-steps and freezing the feet of guys covering him. Along with that, he has clearly worked on his technique as a pass-protector, erasing the space to blitzer and striking them with a tight punch. As a runner, he plays up to his size at 6’1”, 220 pounds as a battering ram RB2 for the Beavers paired up with what could be a top-ten back in next year’s class in Damien Martinez. However, while the ran a lot inside and outside zone there, I also really like Fenwick’s projection into more of a gap-scheme oriented approach, thanks to how well he can press creases vertically, make subtle adjustments to get to the opposite edge after blockers after forcing guys on the second level to commit and get skinny through tight creases despite his size.
So as I consider what this Patriots offense could look like under their new leadership, I think this is a back that could fit very well. Coming over from Cleveland, I expect offensive coordinator Alex Van Pelt to re-commit to a more downhill-oriented approach, considering the pieces they have on the O-line outside of maybe former first-round pick left guard Cole Strange, when they seemingly wanted to dabble more in the wide zone meta we saw across the NFL. While they did bring in Antonio Gibson as more of a receiving option and someone who can provide some big-play potential, I think he’s someone you want to take mental processing off the table as more of a one-cut-and-go zone runner. Yet, Rhamondre Stevenson for as an even slightly bigger back then Fenwick, has some pretty sweet feet to navigate around points of pressure and pace himself as he sets up pulling linemen. As a fifth-year player, I think the former Oregon State RB can operate in a similar mold, even though I don’t like him as much when he gets out to the perimeter and utilizes blockers in space, while lacking that extra gear to pull away from the pursuit. However, he can take some of the load off the starter with his willingness to drop his pads and have a cumulative effect on the defense taking those kinds of blows. Paired with that, for a rookie he can also be useful taking on pass-pro reps and only dropped two of 32 catchable targets in his career with consistent overhand technique. Neither JaMychal Hasty nor Ke’Shawn Vaugh have really established themselves as committee options and Kevin Harris, who the Pats drafted two years ago with a similar profile, has only been active in nine games and touched the ball 37 times.
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WR Isaiah Williams, Illinois – Detroit Lions

Someone I didn’t bring up as a player who emerged from the college all-star circuit but had a solid Shrine Bowl week himself, was Isaiah Williams. Formerly recruited as a four-star dual-threat quarterback, he made the transition to catching passes three years ago and while Illinois put the ball in his hands to hit his fellow receivers a few times during stretch, he put up just under 1100 yards and five touchdowns on 94 touches this past season, earning himself first-team All-Big Ten accolades. However, the reason not him but teammate Casey Washington actually got drafted is that Williams that he’s on the smaller end at 5’9”, 180 pounds and ran a 4.63 at the combine. To me, unless you look at the former as a pure special teamer, the NFL clearly took the wrong guy here. Wiliams is highly elusive off the line with subtle shifts or more violent sticks to gain positioning on the release, putting the defender in trail technique off the snap pretty much and then he plays so much faster than hos 40-time would indicate, to where you see him rapidly get on top of guys with that burst in slot fades. He can accelerate through his cuts, packs some effective swipe-moves to create separation against tighter coverage at the break-point and consistently was friendly to his quarterback. His drop rate is a little higher (7.0%) than you’d like to see and his contested-catch rate (35.3%) lower, but he shows no hesitation of extending for the ball in traffic and you love what he provides after the catch. He already has that lower center of gravity to be efficient with his transitions and make more dramatic moves in the open field, but he also shows the balance to pull through wraps, forcing 51 missed tackles across 164 combined catches over the last two seasons.
So I look at this Lions depth chart, they just locked up Amon-Ra St. Brown as their “power slot extraordinaire”, they hope former first-round pick Jameson Williams can build on some of the flashes late last season as a field-stretcher and Kalif Raymond is back for a fourth season in Detroit as someone who’s averaged 560 yards per year with them and has been their designated punt returner. However, beyond that, you’re looking at Donovan Peoples-Jones, who they traded a sixth-round pick to Cleveland for, but only averaged just over six offensive snaps outside of a meaningless week 18 game. I kind of liked Antoine Green as a seventh-round pick for them last year, who was this vertical ball-winner for North Carolina, because they didn’t really have that skill-set outside of maybe Marvin Jones Jr. – who’s now off the roster – but the then-rookie only caught one pass for two yards. The only other receiver currently on the roster anybody would even recognize by name is former Saint Tre’Quan Smith, who was bouncing between practice squads and was only active for one game last year. So there’s a pretty good chance Isaiah Williams makes it through final cuts as this team’s WR5 at least. He provides the YAC skills that this team is somewhat lacking and can be an extension of this run game, just like he was for the Fighting Illini, being a fly sweep threats, running backside bubbles or just creating microwave offense on screens.
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WR Marcus Rosemy-Jacksaint, Georgia – Washington Commanders

Sticking with the wide receiver position, we’re looking at quite a different profile to Isaiah Williams with this 6’1”, 205-pound Georgia wideout. Rosemy-Jacksaint was four-star recruit in 2020, who struggled to work his way onto the field for a deep Bulldogs receiving corp, with just 11 catches over his first two years. He became a bigger part of the rotation in 2022 (29-337-two touchdowns), but really established himself as a senior, turning 34 grabs into 535 yards and four TDs. I first became aware of this player during Senior Bowl practices, but I actually didn’t love what I saw there. In a setting that favors shifty separators, who can take advantage of the extended space provided to them during one-on-ones, his routes became somewhat predictable with no deceptive speed and footwork alternations. That’s not saying I didn’t also see him come out of his front-loaded staggered stance without any wasted movement and didn’t like how he was able to violently stick his foot in the ground for sharp transitions as a bigger body-type, along with catching the first touchdown on gameday through contact. Going to the tape, I thought he was very disciplined with his route-stems, snapped off curls well and I really appreciated his play-strength, battling for positioning, defeating leverage of defenders and nudging them off at the top of routes. You combine that with big, natural hands (zero drops on 98 targets over the past two seasons), large catch-radius with those 33-inch arms and competitiveness with the ball in air, hauling in seven of 11 contested targets last year.
However, what really made me buy in with Rosemy-Jacksaint and what I think the Commander coaching staff will fall in love with is what he provides as a blocker. Works up to off-corners under good control and is able to latch his hands inside their frame at a high rate. You can deploy him in closer splits, cracking back on safeties, getting a tight grip on the point-man of bunches or even pinning edge defenders inside on plays out to the perimeter. And you see this guy’s hands stay attached until the echo of the whistle a lot of times to take defenders for a ride. Is there anybody this profile reminds you of, thinking about what new GM Adam Peters had in San Francisco? – Jauan Jennings is who came to mind for me. Just like the Niner’s dirty-work receiver and chain-mover, the question with the former Bulldog is the long speed, backed up by running an abysmal 4.81 at Georgia’s pro day. I’m not aware of any off-field concerns, which led to Jennings going undrafted, who I believe offered more after the catch. Washington’s offense will have a much more spread-out look than San Francisco of course with the combination of OC Kliff Kingsbury and second overall pick Jayden Daniels, but to complement a smaller receiving corp that will likely rely on the guy they selected 100th overall in Luke McCaffrey – who I believe is still learning the intricacies of the position – I think as a big slot and role player to help get the run game off the ground, I think Rosemy-Jacksaint has a good chance to make the roster. Assuming they’re looking at different options for the return game, this guy offers more on offense than Dax Milne.
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TE Dallin Holker, Colorado State – New Orleans Saints

One of the more surprising players from this list who ultimately didn’t get picked as part of a fairly underwhelming tight-end class is Dallin Holker. There were only 12 guys who got selected altogether, but I had him just inside my personal top-ten. That was more of a reflection of the quality of the group overall, as I only saw five TEs inside my top-100 while everybody else had some clear warts. For Holker, he wasn’t asked to line up next to the tackle or would create displacement in the run game, while as a receiver he would tip off defenders by drifting during his route stems, he ran a 4.78 at 241 pounds at the combine and he’s not the most natural at contorting his body for off-target grabs. With that being said, there is plenty of good with the second-team All-American, who just put up career-highs across the board in catches (64), yards (767) and touchdowns (six). I thought his actual game speed was a lot better than what he was timed up, watching him gain a step on guys up the seams or racking up yards after the catch when hauling in passes on the run. Holker can also drop his hips and create space for himself and generally navigates well around ancillary zone defenders to find openings. He tracks the deep ball well over either shoulder, not losing focus with someone on his hip, and generally does a good job taking advantage of his large frame to shield the ball and absorb contact, as well as being flexible enough to pluck passes below his knees. As a blocker, you’re best served to utilize him on the move, whether that’s sifting across the formation, inserting against linebackers or covering up bodies in space when you try to get the ball out towards the sideline.
One of the keys to Holker not at least getting a call late on day three is that he didn’t leave the greatest impression during Shrine Bowl week, with a couple of semi-drops with contact and not approaching the ball optimally. However, I didn’t notice that as a general issue for him and as he acclimates to a higher level of competition, I think he has a place on an NFL roster as someone who can earn opportunities by being a reliable target who will fight for extra yardage, and he even lined up some at fullback during team sessions of those aforementioned practices. As I consider how he might fit in with the Saints specifically, I’m looking at a fantasy sleeper from a year ago in Juwan Johnson who didn’t match his prior production in a more prominent role, Foster Moreau as someone who they limited to an underneath option in terms of the pass game and whatever you want to define Taysom Hill as. Whether the latter is on the roster or not, with Klint Kubiak now taking over play-calling duties I’m expecting a fair share of multi-TE sets and could see Holker earn a role as an H-back on early downs and someone with alignment versatility in defined dropback settings.
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IOL Drake Nugent, Michigan – San Francisco 49ers

Moving on to the offensive line now, I saw a path where teams would pass on Drake Nugent compared to see more impressive physical profiles on day three, but I was still shocked to see him go undrafted entirely. Depending on what you count some of these tackle/guard flex options as, there were between 25 and 30 interior O-linemen selected overall. For me, Nugent was IOL18, even though I acknowledge that he may be considered a center only at 6’1”, right around 300 pounds with pretty small hands. After barely seeing the field his first two years in college, he started all 39 games between Stanford and Michigan over the past three years, earning first-team All-Big Ten accolades and helping pave the way for a national championship as the replacement for another highly-regarded transfer at the pivot in Olu Oluwatimi. Nugent definitely lacks some size and length, to where you don’t see him just overwhelming nose-tackles at the point of attack or stun interior rushers with his punch. However, he wins as a run-blocker with great technique and naturally built-in leverage, being able to execute down- and back-blocks as part of the Wolverines’ gap schemes where they pulled their guards a lot, but he’s also very capable of getting his hips around to reach-block first-level defenders or secure moving targets climbing off combos. As a pass-protector, he operates with good flexion at his hips, knees and ankles in order to protect a firm interior of the pocket despite only being around 300 pounds. He consistently fits his hands underneath the chest of rushers, showcases impressive reactionary quicks to mirror active movers and is able to guide crossing linebackers or loopers off track at a high rate.
Considering what Kyle Shanahan and company value in terms of the offensive line – particularly at the center position – I think Nugent fits those qualifications very well. While the rest of the measurements aren’t as intriguing, he put up borderline elite agility numbers at the combine and you see that short-area quickness on tape as well. Michigan didn’t run a whole lot of outside zone, because the guys around the pivot were much more power-based and they’d mash people inside, creating extra gaps with their guards being used as pullers. However, I think Nugent can absolutely get to the play-side shoulder of shades and 2i-technique, wall off bodies on the second level and then has the lateral movement skills to slide in front of blitzers with how much 5-0 protections San Francisco runs, because they want to get five eligibles out in the pattern. Outside of their starter Jake Brendel, the only guy under contract who has really snapped the ball in the NFL is Jon Feliciano, who they brought in third-round pick Dominick Puni (Kansas) to compete for the starting gig at right guard for most likely. So I’m not sure if the Michigan standout makes the active roster week one, but if Brendel misses any time and Feliciano wins that position battle, he may end up starting at center or at least be your primary backup. And I can see a world where Puni starts a few contests at right tackle as well (after he played on the blindside for the Jayhawks), which would open up further opportunities.
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IOL Kinglsey Eguakun, Florida – Detroit Lions

You’ll see a couple of other teams make the list with two potential impact UDFAs, but Detroit is the only one with multiple guys on one side of the ball, as I could see both wide receiver Isaiah Williams and Florida’s starting center over the last three years make the cut. What probably hurt him in this process is the fact that he was lost a month into the 2023 season with an ankle injury and he also didn’t work out at the combine due to tight hamstrings. However, we did see him perform at the Senior Bowl and I thought he had a really nice week. What stands out right away as we compare him to Michigan’s Drake Nugent for example is that he may not even be a full ten pounds heavier, but Eguakun presents a much denser build. Thanks to that, combined with throwing out a nice snatch-trap move a couple of times, his ability to anchor against power-rushers and put people on the ground when they get off balance, made him a very effective pass-protector. On 145 pass-blocking snaps last season, he was only charged with one sack and five additional pressures. In the run game, he has some impressive reps on tape executing different assignment on zone concepts, whether he’s latching and sustaining against D-linemen deep into the play-clock, overtaking/folding underneath on combos or shove scraping linebackers past the target. And for what that more squatty build might suggest, he’s pretty effective with getting to further extended landmarks and secure bodies in space.
With that being said, I did have a few other names ahead of Eguakun in my IOL rankings and he certainly has his flaws. Whether that’s not always bending at his knees and bringing his feet along as a run-blocker, his hands generally sliding to high in both facets and needing to gear up the level of activity in his hand-usage to battle interior pass-rushers. Combining those issues, he was penalized an insane 31(!) times across 1029 total snaps these last three years combined. Nevertheless, not only do I believe those issues are fixable down the road with the right coaching, but I also look at a pretty clear path to earn the backup center job and provide value as someone who can probably jump in at guard as well. Right now, with Graham Glasgow expected to jump in at left guard for Jonah Jackson, who just left in free agency, the only other O-linemen on this roster currently are Colby Sorsdal, who they selected in the fifth round as a developmental tackle out of William & Mary last year, the guy they surprised us with in the fourth round of this draft out of the University of British Columbia, who is also looked at as a guy who isn’t NFL-ready but has intriguing athletic tools, and former Boston College guard Christian Mahogany, who went a good 100 picks later than I expected late in the sixth round due to some medical concerns. None of those have experience at the pivot and otherwise there’s no other drafted player on this roster. Depending on if Detroit signs another free agent on the tertiary market, I see a good chance for Eguakun to make it through cuts.
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EDGE Gabriel Murphy, UCLA – Minnesota Vikings

Nobody hit a bigger homerun on the undrafted free agent market last year than the Vikings. I heard the concerns around linebacker Ivan Pace Jr. coming out of Cincinnati and thought he’d go later than where I valued him, considering he was my 90th overall prospect, but when he landed with defensive coordinator Brian Flores in Minnesota, I immediately thought he’d be an impact starter, and he ended up playing at a fringe Pro Bowl level. This time around, they brought in a player I considered a fourth-round prospect but had some similar concerns based on length. His 30.5-inch arms place him in the sixth-percentile, although the rest of his measurables and athletic testing all basically were in the upper third for the position. Now, that does create some issues when he’s in those close combats against offensive tackles in both facets and you didn’t really see him be asked to stack-and-shed on the edge in the run game, as he was more so allowed to “make plays”. However, there are flashes of him even lining up at three-technique and anchoring against down-block, plus he just has a knack for swiping away the hands of offensive linemen and disrupting the backfield. What you really bring him in for however is that he can probably contribute early on already as a pass-rusher. He effectively sets up cross-chops and beats guys laterally with almost “euro-step”-like footwork. Murphy shows a great feel for the weight-distribution of blockers and has the versatility to move along the front, creating issues on the interior with his quickness. Playing along a loaded D-line at UCLA last season certainly helped, but he racked up 62 QB pressures across 355 pass-rush snaps last season.
Looking at Minnesota’s EDGE situation, they basically swapped out long-time veteran Danielle Hunter for a younger version in Jonathan Greenard coming off a career-year at the end of his rookie deal in Houston. Unlike many suspected them having to trade away both their first-round picks for a quarterback in the top-five, they were able to move up to 17th overall to pair quarterback J.J. McCarthy with what many regarded as EDGE1 in Alabama’s Dallas Turner. And they did sign former Dolphin Andrew Van Ginkel to a back-loaded two-year, 20-million-dollar contract, in part due to DC Brian Flores’ familiarity with him. However, while Jihad Ward is currently listed as an outside linebacker, at 290 pounds you’re not really going to ask him to drop into coverage, which they do a lot in a system that either brings six or only three, being very extreme-oriented. Other than that, it’s down to Pat Jones, who just played a career-high in snaps but more out of necessity and he didn’t grade out particularly well, and a developmental guy in Andre Carter who they picked up as a UDFA from Army last year and primarily was used on special teams. As I consider who can give you the most production on passing downs right now, Murphy at the very least comes in fifth in that pecking order. So I think he could be used as a spinner over the center and be valued due to his sudden hands to quickly win those one-on-ones Flores generates.
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IDL Fabien Lovett, Florida State – Kansas City Chiefs

While they’ve made more investments recently, the Chiefs have a history of finding quality contributors on the defensive line late in the draft and as part of the UDFA market. They signed an edge rusher that I think could give them some snaps as part of the rotation with his urgent, violent style of play in Charlotte’s Eyabi Okie-Anoma. Yet, I want to focus on the big bear they added in the middle from Florida State. Lovett was tied for tenth in my interior D-line rankings and I thought his skill-set was worthy of investing an early day three pick in him. In terms of owning his space and sliding off blocks in run defense, he was up there with anybody outside of Texas’ massive T’Vondre Sweat as a guy playing between the guard. What I always said about him was that he had an innate feel for where pressure was being applied from and how to counter it, as he dealt with double-teams. Yet, his ability to lock out against soloes and then how slippery he is at disengaging and eating up the ball-carrier is equally impressive. Now, he doesn’t offer a whole lot of pop out of his stance and short-area twitchiness to be a legit part of a third-down package in the NFL, but he does have some dominant snaps of putting guards or centers on skates when left one-on-one and his level of activity with his hands is commendable for a guy at 6’4”, nearly 320 pounds.
As a sixth-year senior who some people may look like as a two-down player, it’s understandable that the league may value other guys above him, but there’s no way he should’ve gone undrafted entirely. Considering how Kansas City has treated their defensive front, these types of players like Derrick Nnadi, Mike Pennel and others have been valuable contributors. Especially this past season, we saw them run the second-highest rate of base defense and generally they go fairly depth into their depth chart with that position group, to keep guys healthy and give them quality snaps. So while those names I mentioned are still under contract, I think there’s definitely a path to playing time for Lovett since they value those early-phase run stoppers. This guy can occupy bodies to allow their linebackers to run freely, as they just some speed with the departure of Willie Gay Jr., but when they mug someone like Leo Chenal up and create even numbers up front, his ability to work off blockers and create quick stops allows them to get to longer downs and be aggressive in their pressure-packages. Yet, when they run more stop-drop coverages, Lovett can stay on the field and contribute as a pocket-pusher or someone who frees up lanes by pulling multiple bodies with him. I think he makes that roster or at the very least is one of the first call-ups from the practice squad, and he stands out as people watch the All-22 in DecembeJanuary.
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LB Easton Gibbs, Wyoming – Seattle Seahawks

Moving on to the second level of the defense, there wasn’t as obvious a choice at linebacker as last year, but there still a few guys I could see making rosters, at least if they are significant contributors on special teams. One of those names become keen of was the last in line of some quality Wyoming LBs in Easton Gibbs. I first laid my eyes on him during Shrine Bowl week, especially in terms one-on-one reps vs. the running backs in coverage. He displayed quick feet to redirect with opponents and kept them in front of him, to where even if he did surrender catches, he would’ve been right there to set the tackle for minimal yardage. He was asked to move over the slot quite a bit during team drills, where he showed the ability to read the eyes of the quarterback as a quasi-overhang, yet he’d toggle back to targets in his vicinity and his play of the week came at the goal-line, undercutting a slant route, where he would’ve been off to the races for a pick-six. On tape, his closing burst as a delayed blitzer or taking off as a spy popped a few tomes, as well as the force to plow through running backs in protection. At 6’1”, 230 pounds, Gibbs presents a pretty dense build, with a wide chest, strong arms and a powerful lower half. He excels at creating leverage and stepping past the hips of linemen in order to circle around for the tackle when the ball is going his way, yet his lateral mobility to track (wide) zone concepts from the backside is equally strong.
Now, Gibbs can be overly concerned with beating blockers to the spot and loses vision on the ball at times, where he runs himself out of the picture. His transitions as a zone-defender and in open field tackling situations can be a little heavy-legged, leading to a missed-tackle rate of 11.6% across three seasons as a starter. So I thought he projected best as a SAM in a defense that utilizes his edge-setting skills and ability to cover tight-ends. That role doesn’t necessarily exist in Mike Macdonald’s system, but I think if paired with more of a rangy player on the second level, he can be a useful piece. That’s where the pairing with former Dolphin Jerome Baker makes a lot of sense, who can be the one that drops out of mugged-up looks and match up with guys out of the backfield as Gibbs is used as a pressure player. As I look at what else they have on the roster, there’s really only Tyrel Dodson in terms of guys with legit NFL experience, who logged two third of his career starts last season (10). Otherwise, they only have 23 total defensive snaps to show for at off-ball backer. Seattle did draft Tyrice Knight out of UTEP in the fourth round, who is a fun player in terms of the violence he plays with, but it also leads to him running himself out of trouble quite regularly at this point. I think there’s an outside chance Gibbs actually wins that second starting gig at inside linebacker and unless they love what one of those other guys provides on teams, he’s at least LB4 for this group.
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CB Josh Wallace, Michigan – Los Angeles Rams

This was an insanely deep corner class and it would surprise a lot of people probably to hear there was actual one more selected (36 total) than at wide receiver, which was the topic of discussion alongside the quarterback all draft season. However, there were still a couple left who didn’t end up hearing their names called, who I expect to battle for roster spots. Josh Wallace is one of those, as someone who spent the first four years of his collegiate career at UMass before transferring to Michigan for his final season of eligibility, where he didn’t intercept any passes but did start 11 of 15 contests, with four PBUs, one fumble forced and two recovered. He’s more so average-sized at 5’11”, 185 pounds, but he plays above that weight-class, where he can bother receivers at the line. When he’s playing straight-up press-technique, Wallace does well to deny receivers to get to the edges of his frame, when he’s allowed to shade inside, he can ride guys into the sideline and then he can stop his momentum pretty well. As a zone defender, he showcases impressive recognition for route combinations, is forceful with his hands to funnel targets towards the safety to his side and generally his awareness for down-and-distance and game situations is excellent. On the negative side, he lacks great twitch at the break-point to erase that window of separation receivers are able to create on him, flipping with vertical releases a step early raises concerns around Wallace’s long speed – backed up by running in the high 4.6s at his pro day – and he’s not really a play-maker with the ball in the air, only intercepting three of 32 total passes defensed in his career.
Having said that, he did have an impressive Shrine Bowl week, stacking over top of routes, forcing guys to widen their stem, without allowing guys to detach on him, at one point coming up with an awesome interception in the end-zone during red-zone one-on-ones, walling off his man, getting his eyes back on the quarterback and diving for the ball. And the big case for him is the physical presence he provides out on the perimeter. This guy steps downhill vs. the run with a purpose and is looking to be the one initiating contact with blockers, then aims low as a tackler and significantly cut down his miss rate this past season against top competition, only missing two of 42 attempts. So while we don’t fully know what the structure of the Rams D will look like under new coordinator Chris Shula, taking over the principles and largely personnel of the previous iteration under Raheem Morris, there’s a pretty clear differentiation between the bigger, more hands-on boundary corners like Tre’Davious White and Derion Kendrick, and the quicker field-side options such as Darious Williams and Cobie Durant. White and Williams coming in as free agents, with Williams having familiarity with L.A. already, are slated to start week one, but I think Wallace could battle Kendrick – who had similar speed concerns, which were even more prevalent on tape – for the backup role on the short side of the field, where he’s asked to disrupt receivers early but doesn’t necessarily stick with them all the way across the field, while having help over the top or inside.
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CB Chigozie Anusiem, Colorado State – Washington Commanders

The other top-30 corner for me who didn’t end up getting selected is someone else I saw early on at Shrine Bowl week but didn’t get to study fully until late in the process. For reference, there were eight guys at that position who got drafted – a couple as early as the fourth round – who I had ranked below Anusiem. Unlike Josh Wallace, I really don’t understand why he ended up not getting taken, since he has even better size at 6’1”, 200 pounds and ran a 4.39 at the Colorado State pro day. A former three-star safety recruit for Cal back in 2018, it took this guy a little bit to find his footing and it took until the final two of his six seasons in college for him to become a fixture in the lineup, once he had transferred to the Rams, where he logged a pick and 12 PBUs across 23 total games. Anusiem operates with good balance and his eyes locked in on the belt of his man from soft-press alignment. He shows the football IQ for what routes to anticipate based on splits and formations, slightly adjusting his technique, and then has 32-and-¼-inch arms to impede to progress of the guy across from him as he commits to the release. He has the wheels to run with just about anybody, his closing burst once receivers try to separate on secondary routes is excellent and then his length allows him to bat down targets others would settle for the tackle on. On 228 snaps in man-coverage over the past two years combined, Anusiem allowed just 12 of 36 targets his way (33.3%) to be completed for 157 yards and one touchdown, while actively forcing nine incompletions. In reality, he might be at his best however playing top-down in quarters and closing on stuff in the flats, where he looks comfortable peaking back at the quarterback, mid-pointing routes and passing along or falling off for targets in his vicinity.
He can definitely get a little too aggressive with wanting to dictate the route development and gets turned the wrong way, leading to some wasted movement – which you saw during Shrine Bowl week against more skilled route-runners – he’s quick to get into that three-quarter turn in deep zone assignments and lose vision of the wideout at times and when he’s attacking downhill against the run, he’s more so just catching ball-carrier, allowing them to drive through him for additional yardage due to his high center of gravity. However, it’s not like he’s missing tackles (just 5.2% of his attempts last season, compared to 6.3% for his entire career) and he’s generally a strong edge-setter, where he’s sliding inside of receivers to create early stops when the ball bounces his way or he punches off receivers with those long limbs, not shying away from sticking his nose in the fan against bigger bodies out on the perimeter. That’s why I thought someone would bet on his traits, teaching him how to hone in his aggressiveness in man-coverage, since he’s pretty reliable against the run from day one. And looking at what new Commanders head coach values from that position, it aligns with a lot that he brings to the table in terms of dictating terms to receivers with a high rate of man-coverage. That’s why they brought in Michael Davis from the Chargers to pair with Benjamin St. Juste, while drafting Mike Sainristil to start in the nickel for the them, but I’m a lot more concerned about last year’s first-rounder Emmanuel Forbes, who was over-drafted based on speed and having a nose for coming up with interceptions. This new front-office isn’t as invested in him to succeed and I could see Anusiem end up as their primary backup on the outside, since he’s a good 20 pounds heavier and fits more with their mantra.
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SAF Millard “Nook” Bradford, TCU – New Orleans Saints

Finally, I want to discuss one safety here. This is a class that receive a whole lot of publicity, but taking my top-100 big board and the guys I listed as “the next 30 names”, I had 11 names up there and depending on how you want to define a couple of them who ultimately got picked, there were are 20 selected total.
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The rest of the analysis can be found here!

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One more UDFA to keep track of for each team:

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Arizona Cardinals – Xavier Weaver, WR, Colorado
Atlanta Falcons – Austin Stogner, TE, Oklahoma
Baltimore Ravens – Beau Brade, SAF, Maryland
Buffalo Bills – Frank Gore Jr., RB, Southern Miss
Carolina Panthers – Jalen Coker, WR, Holy Cross
Chicago Bears – Keith Randolph Jr., IDL, Illinois
Cincinnati Bengals – Aaron Casey, LB, Indiana
Cleveland Browns – Javion Cohen, IOL, Miami
Dallas Cowboys – Brevyn Spann-Ford, TE, Minnesota
Denver Broncos – Thomas Yassmin, TE, Utah
Detroit Lions – Steele Chambers, LB, Ohio State
Green Bay Packers – Donovan Jennings, OT/IOL, USF
Houston Texans – Jadon OR Jaxon Janke, WR, South Dakota State
Indianapolis Colts – Kedon Slovis, QB, USC
Jacksonville Jaguars – Josh Proctor, SAF, Ohio State
Kansas City Chiefs – Eyabi Okie-Anoma, EDGE, Charlotte
Las Vegas Raiders – Lideatrick “Tulu” Griffin, WR, Mississippi State
Los Angeles Chargers – Zach Heins, TE, South Dakota State
Los Angeles Rams – Kenny Logan Jr., SAF, Kansas
Miami Dolphins – Storm Duck, CB, Louisville
Minnesota Vikings – Dallas Gant, LB, Toledo
New England Patriots – Charles Turner III, IOL, LSU
New Orleans Saints – Sincere Haynesworth, IOL, Tulane
New York Giants – Alex Johnson, CB, UCLA
New York Jets – Leonard Taylor III, IDL, Miami
Philadelphia Eagles – Gabe Hall, IDL, Baylor
Pittsburgh Steelers – Dajuan Edwards, RB, Georgia
San Francisco 49ers – Evan Anderson, IDL, FAU
Seattle Seahawks – Garrett Greenfield, OT, South Dakota State
Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Kalen DeLoach, LB, FSU
Tennessee Titans – Dillon Johnson, RB, Washington
Washington Commanders – Tyler Owens, SAF, Texas Tech .
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If you enjoyed this article, please visit the original piece & feel free to check out my video content!
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2024.05.08 16:28 SpacePaladin15 The Nature of Predators 2-34

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Star Crossed [Multiple Free Sample Chapters] Patreon Subreddit Discord Paperback NOP2 Species Lore
Memory Transcription Subject: Tassi, Bissem Alien Liaison
Date [standardized human time]: June 29, 2160
Ambassador Loxsel had mentioned that the Sivkits wished to see humanity’s progress, as he phrased it, staking their claim to further-off thrones. With a fleet beelining its way from Paltan space toward the site of the incident, the theatrical Sivkit had graced us with his virtual presence. The entire Sapient Coalition was watching, uncertain how our ships would stack up against theirs. The humans would attempt to hail the unknown hostiles through their drones, from the border base, but I somehow doubted our new enemies would pick up. The research vessels had long since ducked away from the front lines, replaced by top-notch attack drones rushing toward an open class.
Gunning down civilian ships was easy, as Naltor put it to me. The weaponry did take them out with startling efficacy, but they hadn’t picked a target that could fight back. Onso had facilitated another meeting with Kaisal, and Zalk’s secure tech lines proved invaluable to setting up a back channel, cutting out the Yotul middleman. I found myself on edge, worried that our schemes would be discovered. Kaisal promised the Arxur were heading into the fray, as soon as news of the dead carnivores was leaked to him. It might’ve gotten Bissems a gift-wrapped fleet, but I was worried about complicating a situation that was already perilous.
“Now that they’re rushing off to war, and trying to save the Osirs, there’ll be no time to save Ivrana or look for the ghost exterminators,” Zalk complained. “We have to do this ourselves.”
The Osirs were the human’s chosen name for the extinct quadrupeds, crafted after a myth that had appalled several SC representatives. It was named after a god who’d been chopped into pieces by his brother, and brought back to life when the bits of his body were sewn together. Even I wasn’t sure I liked that analogy, but the Terrans found it fitting. They were trying to stitch the carnivores back together with pieces of genetic data; it was easier to obtain viable samples with the Osirs than other extinct races. They could be the race that led the way for others—researchers were hopeful to create a synthetic embryo for them within a few weeks, and start its development in an artificial womb.
I heaved a sigh. “The humans haven’t paused their work on our ecosystem, or the outreach with our diplomats to start peace talks. Between a global war at home and whoever killed the Osirs and the Sivkit expedition, are ghost exterminators really the biggest threat?”
“Of course they are,” the Tseia hissed. “They’re the ones who attacked us. We have no answers, but they’ll go to the ends of the galaxy for these Sivkits and Osirs!”
General Naltor narrowed his eyes. “Settle down, Zalk. Both tasks deserve attention, and with the magnitude of power needed to wipe out a spacefaring species…this is extremely worrying. We can’t expect them to care about us, if we don’t address their concerns. The Paltans are in immediate danger.”
“Which is why we need to keep them on the defensive, so they don’t wind up in our territory. You think they’ll spare Ivrana if they get that far? They already wiped out one carnivore race,” I spat.
“It doesn’t change that we’re on our own, Tassi!” The Tseia tugged at his headfeathers. “We have to figure out ways to be useful, to get anything from anyone.”
“That doesn’t have to be solely military. Be team players; offer aid and a safe haven to any who need it. That’d buy goodwill, so maybe one day, more than people-eating carnivores will back us.”
“What are you all whispering about?” Dustin’s voice made me jump, and the xenobiologist seemed to notice that his presence startled us all. I wondered what he would think if he knew we’d been skulking around to meet Kaisal, and drag the Collective into this to gain a fleet; somehow, I doubted he’d approve. “I haven’t said anything, but you lot have been acting strange ever since your visit to Leirn. What did the Yotul drag you into? It was strange how soon they flipped their tune on your SC bid.”
Naltor scowled. “You’re the one who tried to get us in touch with them to change our minds. We can do some things on our own.”
“Of course you can. I just…thought we were in this together, and would be more open with each other.”
“Dustin, you get regular memory scans. We can’t tell you anything we don’t want leaking to the galaxy, even if we do trust you to keep it in confidence aside from that,” I said, thinking quickly.
I never confronted him, but I don’t understand why he withheld so much about the Arxur. Dustin could say that it’s publicly available info…still, his version of events was much less flattering.
The human scientist frowned, but seemed to give in. “You have a point. I just wish I could help more. It’s hard to give advice when you’re being iced out.”
“You’re not being iced out, so much as the Yotul don’t want the Terran government involved,” Naltor offered a half-truth. “We can’t afford to have them turn on us. It doesn’t have to affect our friendship. We’ve been through some real shit together, nerd.”
“Yeah. We have, haven’t we? Now, we’re witnessing a new interstellar war. I know I’m supposed to provide reassurance, but that scares me a little. All hell’s broken loose since we met Bissems.”
“We feel the same about everything we learned about you; everything’s gone to shit. If you don’t beat these cloacabeaks today, then we’re doubly fucked.”
“Cloacabeak. You adopted my word?” Zalk gasped.
“Shut up, wanderbird. It’s time to see what the white and fluffy ball of drama has to say…and how the battle goes.”
Loxsel had finally moved close to the screen, after making a show of checking that his viewport was completely shuttered and his door was locked. Secretary-General Kuemper looked like she’d swallowed sawdust, as the Sivkit finally unmuted; she was worried what the character of an ambassador would have to say. On an adjacent screen, an alternating feed from the drone formation showed that they’d been booted from subspace. If the aggressors were still in the area, that would prove this system was of enough importance to defend. We’d find out whether they’d confront our inbound fleet soon; should they choose not to meet us, we’d get a read on the planet the Grand Herd had been bound for.
“Hello from c-captivity—for I am a free man in name only! The fateful day of your r-rampage has arrived. Prowl the fields where millions died!” Loxsel screeched. Wasn't it hundreds of thousands? “Salivate at what might have been. May your s-savage hunger carry you to victory!”
Kuemper managed to keep a straight face. “I hope we’ll get a proper assessment of the enemy capabilities, or better yet, contact them to understand why they attacked you. I also hope that the UN has been treating you well.”
“I am well-fed. Fattened for the s-slaughter! You should not talk to them, predator…yet you admire their b-butchery. You seek their massacre techniques for yourself. Generations of scrumptious bites gone, p-puffed out of existence. Don’t you savor to play with your food—the taste, excoriating their flesh?”
“Loxsel, we don’t consider Sivkits to be food. We’re here to lend a hand, like you asked us to. We’d like to have diplomatic relations with the Grand Herd, but we can’t manage that without a shred of…normalcy in what you say to us.”
“Then just kill them all. Whatever r-ruse you project toward these servile prey, your instincts howl for blood. Brethren of mine, slain by their craven debauchery, entrails scattered. We want these abominations off this world, and your almighty claws can deliver it!”
The Secretary-General’s pupils snapped toward him. “Why are you so set on this world in particular? Wouldn’t it be wiser for the Grand Herd to avoid this…craven debauchery by choosing another planet? It’s not like this one is brimming with vegetation; our long-range scans suggest it’s mostly desert.”
“You wouldn’t understand. All that matters to hunters is w-what lines your voracious stomach, and ruling over as much terrain as possible. We have purpose. We want what’s ours, yet is now blighted by vermin. It could not be b-bloodless, no! Despair at the infestation. I lament…what was snatched, wrenched from our pastures! It is an insult to have to turn to foul, rancorous b-beasts like you.”
“You came to us. You didn’t have to,” Kuemper hissed. “You insult us—”
“I am showering you with praises, odes to your c-cruelty! I apologize if I insulted you; I’ll step it up!”
“What does stepping it up look like?” Onso snickered from the crowd. “Go on, show us!”
“Rapacious m-menaces of Sol, ingesting war and death with insatiable appetite. Flayers of children, crushers of hope, terrors that flattened the cradle!”
“That wasn’t them. The humans fought to save us, and then rebuilt our home from scratch,” the Gojid Prime Minister interjected.
“The cradle was flattened, and that’s the part that matters! Where was I? Ahem. Unhallowed ones who stole the Arxur’s cattle for yourselves, who had Duerten minions perform the shadow caste’s execution…who broke our spines!”
Kuemper smacked her forehead. “We definitely didn’t do that. We could fix them even, if you stopped shunning us.”
“By fix, do you mean removing the bone altogether? Paralyzing us so it’s not a problem? I’m not so ‘Sivkit-brained’ to not see through your word lures!”
“If that’s what you truly think of us, then never mind. Humanity doesn’t want to be seen as monsters, and you hold us in such low regard. Why don’t we observe the battle in silence?”
“Yes, predator master! I won’t dare to raise my voice or interrupt your war cries again.”
Loxsel placed a paw on the top and bottom of his muzzle, as if manually holding it shut. The human leader’s exasperation was on full display, adding color to an otherwise tense and sober moment. Having been booted from FTL transit on the system’s fringes, the drones dispensed ammo on the disruptors to ensure they wouldn’t impede backup; that allowed them to tunnel slightly closer, before planet-based gravity distortions interrupted their progress again. Ship signatures appeared, warping in behind the UN armada from the direction they came. More automated foes crawled out of the woodwork throughout the system, thousands upon thousands of them waiting. There were also a colossal amount of hostiles marching out from the desert world.
Attempts to hail the foreign faction went unanswered; the Terrans even flashed blinking lights from the hull, in case traditional communications weren’t working for some reason. Our enemies zipped toward the SC fleet, this time not hiding that their guns were primed for the kill. While prepping for combat, our force spared a few resources toward scouring the system for signals, and trying to crack their encryption. Running their language through a translator matrix could help us gather intel—perhaps learning more about the attacks on the Sivkits and the Osirs. However, there was nothing of use we could pick up, besides the standard background radiation and our internal signals.
Why are these people so hostile to us, so adamant about driving anyone out of this system without any communication attempts?
It was evident that these murderous aliens had been expecting our return, judging by the uptick in ships stationed here. They started off by slinging particle beams, but the Terran spacecraft on the frontlines were generating strong magnetic fields—which could separate the charged rays. General Naltor was taking notes about the SC’s capabilities, just as he had during the general strategy briefing. It was a test of hurling offensive weapons at one another, and seeing if they could be parried or deflected. The enemy had numbers, having anchored themselves deeply to this system. Ambassador Loxsel should lose whatever attachment he had to this world in a hurry.
Our own particle beams weren’t countered by plasma or magnetic shielding, rather being absorbed by what appeared to be a layer of liquid armor; our weapons’ power fizzled within the water, as the simple medium scattered their heat. The battle of engineering appeared to be a stalemate so far, with each party finding a unique counter.
“Only predators could c-create such dastardly weapons!” Loxsel brayed, paws flying away from his snout. “They dreamed up the same base horrors as you. This is hunter against hunter, a contest of t-trickery. How primal…this can’t be my life! I want out!”
Kuemper raised a hand. “These aliens are clever, Loxsel. They figured out their own way to oppose our particle beams, but we have other weapons. The question is really who has the best weapon.”
“Bring out the antimatter! Launch them at the planet and hope it falls from the heavens like rain!”
“That is not how we operate, even if they did with the Osirs. If they somehow aren’t behind the Osirs’ deaths, then that’s not the signal we want to send about our terms of engagement.”
“Do you kill your prey by being boring? Because I’m about to…drop DEAD! Dead, I say!”
“You do that,” Onso heckled from the audience. “In silence.”
Kuemper’s comment about whoever would deliver the weapon that turned the tide rang true; someone needed to score major blows. These enemies must have the force to at least whittle us down with their superior numbers. In any other system, throwing twenty thousand SC drones would be enough to overrun the place, but this region of space was fortified to the teeth. As we crested to closer distances, each side tested the other’s ionic shields and armor with plasma, and point-defenses against mini-missiles. The deciding factor was indeed that home advantage, the terrain being familiar to our foes. The asteroid belt—and I mean all of it—came to life, with tens of thousands of giant rocks chucked at us with slingshots.
“Hey! That’s our move,” Dustin protested, as the SC drones reacted to the barrage of space rocks flying in all directions. “Maybe humans aren’t the craziest ones out there.”
Zalk gave him a perplexed glance. “The hostiles threw a plurality of their asteroid belt at you, and that’s your reaction?”
“What do you want me to say? That we probably don’t have enough explosive firepower, or time, to break them all up?”
“I see your drones desperately firing away from the ships, and weaving all about to avoid space rocks. How am I supposed to believe you can protect the Tseia when you are getting rolled?”
The human’s lips curved down. “There’s always a bigger fish, Zalk. They’re formidable…but we’ve ended bigger fish before, with a lot less at our disposal.”
“While I appreciate an attempt at a relatable metaphor, I wouldn’t go comparing yourself to fish. On Ivrana, all fish get eaten by us,” Naltor quipped.
“Fine. There’s always a bigger Bissem—and I’m looking right at him.”
“Half-feathered nerd.”
I looked toward the screen with worried eyes. “Is now the time for jokes and banter?”
“Gallows humor, Tassi,” Dustin sighed. “Beats doomspiraling, doesn’t it?”
I couldn’t help but to “doomspiral,” as the enemy seized our automatons’ moment of weakness. Our formation was scattered across all three axes, but each feed showed them under a similar asteroid siege. Recognizing that the Terran-led craft were on the back foot, the hostiles made use of their greater numbers at last; they hurled themselves at our front lines—ramming tactics that piled onto the existing debris barreling down on us. Our drones were being beaten into submission, flinging antimatter missiles at asteroid and foe alike.
The SC dispatched their nanodrones to attack by a thousand cuts, but dust guns smited these with equally small particles. Larger ships’ shielding could burn them in a heartbeat, yet the tiniest vessels struggled to reckon with them. Clearly, our enemies had a rotating arsenal for every situation. Asteroids crashed over the paltry physical shields, rendering them ineffective in blocking incoming fire. The humans looked a bit disheartened, seeing that the hostiles had an answer for every punch they threw.
Not hesitating to bring all of their friends to the party, space stations nestled within the asteroid belt revved to life. The enemy dumped warheads in our faces as well, just as our casualties were teetering on the edge of a catastrophic count. The Sapient Coalition was getting hit with everything under the ice shelf, all at once. I wasn’t even sure our nemeses had shown their entire hand, but they didn’t need to. Feeds across the drone fleet were going dead, limiting the rapidly alternating angles. Lights blinked out on the space map’s display feed.
The humans aren’t going to be able to avenge the Sivkits or the Osirs today. This is a swift, devastating loss. We can’t take them on their own turf…and I’m not sure we could, even outside of their territory!
Kinetics, lasers, particle beams, missiles, and asteroids vanquished SC vessels one by one, despite their last gasp of resistance. For all of Dustin’s gallows humor, I could see the human was internally doomspiraling—fearing a war on the scale of the one they put to bed twenty-three years ago. Ambassador Loxsel flopped to the floor as the last feed went dead, amid a sea of debris that marked all that was left of our fleet. The Sapient Coalition had some hard questions to ask themselves, about how they could stand up to an enemy on this level…and to consider whether it was worth it to engage at all.
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2024.05.08 10:52 Eager_Question Love Languages (43)

NOTE: I AM GOING INSANE. I had to move because my family had to sell the house because debt sucks. Life is stressful. Brain bad.
Anyway, I have FINALLY managed #43 and #44 should not be too far behind. I'm sorry for the wait/delay. I have written like... half a dozen half-chapters. The good news is that at some point soon-ish, a bunch of pre-written stuff will come together!
Thank you to u/tulpacat1 and u/BainshieWrites for helping me when I was going insane.
I zombily forgot to link to the crossover place! Sorry!!! This is a crossover with Feathers of Deceit by the fantastic u/KaiserMarcqui! Check it out if you haven't already! Here is the scene from the other POV. (You can tell by the date just how long ago the dialogue was written).

Patreon / Kofi/ Paypal
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SECURITY FOOTAGE TRANSCRIPT, MODIFIED TRANSLATOR SETTINGS ANDES-5
[standardized human time]: December 11, 2136
[Dr. Miranda Rodriguez enters the room where [2-B] is located, sporting an external translator hanging from her neck. Lihla is hidden behind the open door.]
Dr. Rodriguez: I’m so glad you’re awake, sweetheart, we need to talk.
[At that moment and for the duration of the recording, the translator outputs her words in the arxur language. 2-B’s whole body tightens within the blanket, wrinkling and bunching it up around her.]
2-B: I am not delicious, I am disgusting!
Dr. Rodriguez: …Oh, is the word sweetheart–okay. Um. What would you like me to call you?
2-B: my name is 86392-B.
Dr. Rodriguez: …I’m going to have a hard time with that, young lady.
2-B: So call me prey like a boss that doesn’t lie.
Dr. Rodriguez: …My goodness. Um. That is a lot to unpack there. Let’s bypass names for now, you can tell that I’m talking to you here.
[Dr. Rodriguez loosely swings the door shut with her foot, and walks over to a desk that has been placed next to the bed, placing down her pad on it. Just before she sits and turns towards 2-B, Lihla quickly and silently slips past the door and under one of the other, currently unoccupied beds in the room. Dr. Rodriguez takes a slow, deep breath.]
Dr. Rodriguez: Look, I understand that you’re very distrustful of us. That’s completely natural given your background, and I know you will take time to adjust. There is no rush. Trust takes time to build.
2-B: Trusting bosses is stupid. No boss is good boss.
Dr. Rodriguez: …Right.
[2-B offers no response. Dr. Rodriguez fiddles with the plain golden ring on her right hand.]
Dr. Rodriguez [voice hushed]: That said, we’re in a bit of a situation. We want to keep you safe here, but we may not be able to do that if you continue to pose a danger to those around you.
[2-B offers no response]
Dr. Rodriguez: We’ll do our best to keep you out of harm’s way, but we’re going to need your cooperation in the matter.
2-B: Is the Savageness dead?
Dr. Rodriguez [shaking her head with a smile]: Oh, not at all. Andes is alive, well, and expected to make a full recovery. We’d be having a very different conversation, if they were dead.
[2-B looks at Dr. Rodriguez more intently, her ears fixed towards her now. Her muscles tighten.]
2-B[voice quiet and uneven]: How long before he chops me up?
[Dr. Rodriguez’ eyes bug out and her jaw falls. She spends four seconds immobile before shaking herself and resuming the interaction.]
Dr. Rodriguez: Nobody is going to chop you up. Andes does not want to hurt you.
[2-B’s paws tighten into fists and her ears slant backwards]
2-B: You lie! All lies, all the time!
[Dr. Rodriguez takes another deep breath.]
Dr. Rodriguez [softly]: I am telling you the truth. It is very important that you do your best to be calm and composed in the coming days, because in order to make sure no one hurts you, we have to show them that you are not dangerous.
2-B: I am very dangerous. I am dangerous and scary and disgusting!
[Dr. Rodriguez sighs.]
Dr. Rodriguez: Perhaps we can have this conversation when you are more settled down. I’ll have someone bring food at the end of the claw. Please ask if you want to use the washroom.
[Dr. Rodriguez stands up and walks out of the room. Once she is out of the room, Lihla peeks from behind the unused bed.]
Lihla: See? Savageness Director is strong. Nobody can kill him.
2-B: The legend killed an old boss. I can kill a new one.
Lihla: You think you are strong, but you are wrong. You are weak because you don’t understand.
2-B: I understand you are stupid. You believe their lies. Marco too. They will take you to the chopping place and you’ll walk in happy.
Lihla: There is no chopping place in prey planet. New place, new rules.
2-B: There is always a chopping place. We don’t have to know where to know it’s there.
[Lihla stands there for a long moment, her tail swaying side to side. She exits the room without another word.]
____
Memory transcription subject: Varla, Nurse at the Venlil Reintegration and Rehabilitation facility
Date (standardized human time): Dec 11, 2136
I almost tried to extend my leave after such nerve-wrecking paws. First, my stupid breakdown in front of the Director; second, with the wave of stampedes across the planet due to the raid alarm; third, the news that the Director had single-handedly saved the lives of thirty-seven people with his emergency human-leg-powered ambulance, only to be hit by a car for his trouble; fourth, that the girls had escaped; fifth, that one of them had stabbed him and… Well that was probably it, but it was a lot!
I knew working for humans would be stressful when I applied, but I didn’t realize it would be this stressful! So many problems, all happening so quickly, and when I got back Ayodele was just… working. Like it was normal! I spent the whole time on edge, almost jumping out of my wool when I heard a sudden noise because one of the children dropped a toy brick by accident.
Halfway through my shift, I heard they were talking about not sending that little monster to a Predator Disease facility. Dr. Rodriguez had been put in charge of her care while Director Andes recovered, and they were debating how to organize the situation to ensure the safety of the herd and the predator girl who had already tried to kill someone. My fur began to stand on end at the thought of her staying in the facility. At least the humans think she should be separated from the herd for now. I kept thinking about Director Andes, unarmed, willing to take a knife to the gut in the line of duty.
Is it okay to have a crush on him if he’s not a monster? Probably not. I was being ridiculous. Even if I hadn’t been, humans apparently thought dating underlings was predatory, so he wouldn’t want to do that. He probably didn’t want anything to do with someone so pathetic and weak that being told humans don’t want to eat her made her rush off to cry in her car for half a claw while she tried to calm down.
It was probably more like a third of a claw. Still too long, obviously. Plus the leave.
It didn't make any sense. It matched what he said, but… it didn’t make any sense. Nobody would have held it against him, if he’d fought back. Rumours said he hadn’t even tried. What kind of… “omnivore” didn’t even defend himself?
“It’s so sad,” Ayodele told me as we finished our shift together. “She’s spent her whole life trapped in this eat-or-be-eaten world… Literally! Her life is already going to be so difficult…”
“Sad? She’s dangerous!” I said reflexively. I should have thought better of it, but it was just so ludicrous!
“She was afraid we were going to eat her. You should understand what that's like,” Ayodele told me, suddenly defensive on behalf of the predator-diseased monster who had nearly killed Director Andes.
“I was afraid too, and I didn't try to kill anyone because of it,” I said, putting my paws on my hips.
She raised an eyebrow. “Did you grow up watching the arxur eat your friends and siblings every day?”
“Well, no, but–” she cut me off before I could finish, glaring at me with the full force of her binocular eyes.
“Right. I think her reaction being more extreme might make sense given those circumstances, Varla.”
My paws and tail were starting to tighten in frustration. Arguing was useless, so I flicked an ear her way and focused on my pad. Once my shift was over, I stumbled out to my car, almost in a haze. What kind of people reserved so much kindness and patience to those who would kill them if given the chance?
I had to learn more about humans. Even if they were “false predators”, even if their eyes meant nothing, even if they were overwhelmed with nurturing instincts… It didn’t make any sense! Self-preservation should kick in at some point!
I made my way to a more human-friendly bookstore, and started looking for things humans wrote for each other. There was a free digital selection screen, where you could buy books and request they be printed in a specific make. I chose the cheapest print-to-order design. I just wanted the information, and I wanted it with blank pages every chapter and large margins to make notes. I also wanted to make sure nobody could hack into my book, or see it in my account, or catch me reading human books on a holopad. Maybe it was paranoid, but thinking about Director Andes–about humans in general, really– always felt somehow wrong.
That all meant that human books would be more expensive. I sighed and trudged over to the digital selection screen.
Once there, I was met with a veritable avalanche of human literature, and no idea how to tell which ones would be too much for me, or which ones would be obvious predatory deception. I kept thinking about his words. “Nurturing instincts”, “innocuous” eyes. It didn’t make sense. Even if the Director was telling the truth about himself, even if humans specifically were predators in some… vestigial, irrelevant fashion… they eat flesh! I know they eat flesh. Director Andes even mentioned them having farms. They’re not misunderstood prey.
I flipped through dozens of options before giving up and looking at my neighbour, a young Krakotl who seemed very immersed in her own screen. She was looking at human books too. I shouldn’t have done anything, but my screen was terrifying and I didn’t know where to begin. I lightly tapped her wing to call her attention.
"Do you… do this a lot?” I asked, my voice on the quiet side to avoid calling attention to us. “I don't know how to judge human literature."
She tilted her head towards me. “I’m guessing this is your first time here? It is mine, too.”
"Yeah, I… I think I thought I was being open-minded, working with them, but I don't understand them at all,” I told her, my tail coiling anxiously. “I hoped this would help, but now I'm more confused!"
“Well, everything about humans is confusing. I’ve been hanging out with a human lately and, to be honest, I still can’t wrap my head around how they function. Everything they do, everything they say, it’s just so confusing.”
I felt like a ‘make it yourself’ toy that had been getting wound up tighter and tighter, and suddenly let free. "Yes!” I almost shouted. “Ugh. My boss is a human, and a strong one too, he has these veins that pop out on the skin of his arms, and… he apparently has never been in combat with another human.”
Was he ever in combat with anything? He said he’d never gone hunting. I thought about him lying on that medical bed, so… helpless. And yet still so strong. Able to withstand such injuries and still hold the respect of his people. If he couldn’t, they’d probably cull him, right? I kept talking. “He just… likes being terrifying? But not to be terrifying."
“Exactly!” she said, her eyes lighting up in agreement. “Nothing they say makes sense; it’s as if they rationalize everything in ways opposite to how we’d do it. I’ve been going through very old literature from my people with my human friend, and the conclusions he takes from the texts are nothing I could come up with.”
My ears perked up at that. "What has he said?"
“He seemed to think that Krakotl could kill other Krakotl! Preposterous, I say. Everyone knows that prey don’t kill other prey.”
I frowned. I knew people who had died trying to defend the human homeworld. They were not killed by humans, or even the arxur. Humans might bring forth strange situations and bizarre ideas with them… but they didn’t make the krakotl fleet attack venlil ships. Kalsim did that.
"...Except in the extermination fleet, right?" I asked.
She stumbled over her words as she tried to respond. “W-well, yeah, but they’re an exception. To think that we’d kill each other in ancient times! I understand his reasoning – humans killed each other in ancient times, so other species must’ve, too. And while I find it a bit flimsy, I’ll admit it is an interesting thought to entertain. The Extermination fleet is an exception to this, as it was a desperate measure that…” She sighed. “Honestly, shows that we can be murderous, too.”
Her posture dipped a tad as she finished. I found myself getting a little lost in her explanation, and thought back to Director Andes’ words. I do not have any particular desire to eat you.
"What else has he said?” I asked. “My human said that he has no bloodlust. Of any sort. And had none of it as a child either."
Should I have called him ‘my human’? That doesn’t mean anything, right? He’s just the human I am most routinely in contact with. Except that’s probably Ayodele. He’s… the human I brought up earlier. That makes sense.
My question seemed to energize her again. “My human has admitted he has no bloodlust, too! It’s so weird – I’ve developed a hypothesis; that there’s some kind of division within human society between those who have bloodlust and those who don’t. See, I’ve been reading one of their books, and it centers on crime – which includes killings! Yet it was treated so nonchalantly, but at the same time, it was still seen as wrong. It’s the only possible logical explanation.”
I flicked my tail in thought. Did that make sense? Maybe the farms were staffed exclusively by humans who were “real predators”, while all the prey-humans had “vegan” diets and would willingly treat non-human people as their equals… "And the reason no human here admits to it is because the UN would never let a blood-lusting human onto Venlil Prime. It would be a political disaster…"
Her posture shifted up more excitedly. “Exactly! It all makes sense. I’m certain that they’re hiding something from us.”
"How separate are these two subtypes? Maybe they genuinely don't know," I proposed. It did not take very long, since we made contact with Humanity, for the kolshian-farsul conspiracy to come apart. Maybe it would not be long until some human conspiracy fell apart due to prey species’ scrutiny. Maybe Director Andes genuinely did not realize there were humans currently alive who were real predators. Maybe the “urban, academic population” was some sort of prey-human cluster.
“I haven’t thought as far, but I’m sure that they must be somewhat aware of it, as their own Exterminators are equipped to deal with their own people. It might be similar to our own predator disease, but at the same time, it feels like it’s more widespread for humans.”
That didn’t sound right to me. Predators should be immune to predator disease, no? They would already have it by default. I asked about her book,, but my mind kept spinning around the notion of such a division. It would have been in the briefings. I knew that the UN hid things from the venlil, but something of that magnitude would pose a threat to our population. The humans wouldn’t risk endangering their closest ally during a war by withholding important information, would they?
“— murder is treated very nonchalantly, from what I gather, in the humans’ world.”
I tilted an ear to signal I was thinking. "Hmm. Humans treat a lot of terrible things nonchalantly. Like my terrifying boss."
She leaned a little closer to me. “Yeah? What’d he say?”
"He was just very comfortable with our Arxur-speaking children at the facility. And…” I probably shouldn’t spread stories like that without asking him if they were true, but… “I heard rumours he spent time with the greys on Earth during cleanup."
The karkotl’s beak fell open, and her feathers started to puff up. “A grey?! I can’t believe it, I hope he has nothing good to say about it.”
I signalled ‘quiet’ with my tail. We are in public! "Well, he hasn't said anything at all. It's mostly rumours. But it's still so strange! Such a strong, terrifying predator, and he will gently carry a sleeping patient to bed… I just don't know what to expect, with humans."
She lowered her voice. “Neither do I, to be honest. Everything I’ve heard about humans seems like almost the complete opposite… You know, despite the obvious ‘predator’ signs, it’s as if my human friend went against all of that! He’s so sweet sometimes.”
"How?" I asked, trying not to think about how enticing the prospect sounded to my ears.
“Just the other day, yeah? He’s invited me to a ball they’re holding in his shelter, and he just goes and asks me to practice dancing with him. It might seem weird, but it seemed so lovely to me…”
"They can dance?" I asked. I imagined Director Andes doing those strange movements he did sometimes in the recreation room. Were those part of human dancing? Did they go on the palms of their hands, or squat down? He was so strong, so deliberate with his movements… He’s probably an amazing dancer. I imagined him doing pirouettes in the air to some aggressive, violent human music with chanting and drums.
“It weirded me out at first too; I wasn’t too sure on how that’d work out. Their dances are so unlike the Krakotl’s. More than energizing movements to attract a mate, it seemed much more… I don’t know how to properly describe it, but it was much more gentle. Definitely unlike any dance I’d seen.”
"They dance gently?" I couldn't shake the shock. With muscles like that, I would expect dances to look almost like fights. Then again, if he knew how to fight, would the girl have been able to hurt him..?
She kept talking. “Yeah! It’s so strange. He did tell me there were many other types of dances, but the one he’d practiced with me was just like that. It’s like I was almost in a trance, with him holding me in his arms…” her feathers shifted and her face grew a slightly deeper purple.
"I see. I've heard humans can ensnare prey with a trance, so be careful with that," I said. It was probably a crush. Just like how I probably had a crush. But I hadn’t fully ruled out the “humans can affect the minds of the krakotl, and also maybe other prey species” hypothesis. Maybe LastDefense233 wasn’t an idiot.
Maybe there was a better reason for this whole situation than “you’ve fallen in love with the flesh-eating monster”.
“I am! I know full well what I’ve gotten into,” she said. “You know, I’ve already been told by some people that I’m playing with fire, but I’m not naïve. I still have my eyes set out for the human’s deceit.”
I thought back to her idea that there are ‘prey’ humans and ‘predator’ humans, as two distinct classes. It didn’t seem right to me. "That's good. I think the humans at my job are mostly honest but… they don't understand what it's like to be prey."
“They really don’t seem to comprehend it! It’s as if they actively try not to acknowledge that a distinction exists between ‘predator’ and ‘prey’,” she agreed.
"Just a few paws ago, my director said that humans can consider the same animal predator and prey! It's like black can be white sometimes to them!" I hissed. They could eat meat, but chose not to. They had tiny teeth, but binocular eyes. They were big and strong and deadly, but also… long and gangly and bent in odd ways… They spun their heads around like they were about to pounce, but were almost blind on the sides and easily startled.
“It really is plain ludicrous with them. Some of the things they say are like that but, to be honest, I find it kind of endearing, you know – it’s as if they were full of naïveté on how the natural order actually worked. It’s so strange to think of how a predator perceives the world.”
I thought back to those shakes Director Andes was always drinking. How much had he given up, to accept a role helping people he had nothing to do with? "Especially predators that choose to avoid predating, right? It's such an… idealist thing. How they fight against their own nature."
“Yes, exactly,” she agreed, “I find it kind of noble, in a way. Like they’re trying so hard to be just like us, yet their own nature betrays them.”
I was about to ask her about what her human looked like when I realized we'd been hogging the stations for a while, and started to feel guilty about it.
"What book will you get?" I asked instead.
“Ah, right! You know, it’s not for me, but for my human. There’s this festivity they have about gift-giving, and I was thinking of gifting him a classic Krakotl novel translated into his language.”
There is a human festivity about gift-giving? I should look up human festivities. What if the Director expects a gift? I asked something polite while my mind got stuck on the idea of upcoming human festivities. How often did humans celebrate? What did they celebrate? Did they have birthdays, or something like their ‘first kill’? Was that too predatory? Did they celebrate the first time they ate a vegetable?
Somehow, the topic turned to human music she’d listened to.
"Was it slow too? Like their dance?" I asked.
She tilted her head one way and then another, as though swirling her thoughts around inside her skull. “The piece of music he put on for me was somewhat slow… But I don’t know if that’d reflect on the rest of their music. Though ‘slow’ isn’t perhaps the right word for it; it was sometimes slow and sometimes not.”
"Ah. Unpredictable, like they are?” I asked, flicking an ear in understanding. Music was something I hadn’t given much thought to, but maybe it was the key to everything. “In my facility, they are teaching a venlil child music in order to help him relearn how to speak after an injury. They're using venlil music, of course, but… they understand it differently. Maybe humans use music in other strange ways. It could be the secret to their power over their instincts. Then again… They keep saying those instincts aren't real."
“Yes, exactly: unpredictable! And I hadn’t thought of their music like that. To be honest, I hadn’t paid much attention to it, but what you’re saying does sound interesting…”
I lowered my voice more, suddenly more worried about being overheard. "Do you ever wonder what it's like? To be one? The Krakotl were cured centuries ago, of course but… I keep wondering about it. About what it's like to be like them. So much… power."
“It’s a thought that’s sometimes crossed my mind, but frankly I wouldn’t want to be like them…” her head dipped sadly for a moment. “To be fighting against your own instincts all the time, telling you to eat people! I don’t think I’d have the mental fortitude for that.”
I nodded, like a human. I didn’t realize I’d started until after I’d stopped. "It must be patience beyond imagining… Incredible self-control, with temptation just… everywhere. Everywhere around them now. Everyone they talk to here who isn't human, every time they walk by a park and see birds flying by…"
“Yes, just like that. In some weird way, I find that quite admirable… And they even deny they have such a thing! It must get so tiresome to pretend you’re civilized all the time.”
That was… An interesting way to put it. Pretending to be civilized. Isn’t that what every society is doing? Isn’t that what PD facilities are for? To help us pretend? We’re all animals, after all… We’re all prey.
"Is it even pretending, at that point?"
The question threw her off. “Perhaps not? I did say earlier that I believed there were two ‘types’ of humans… So perhaps they really don’t have a bloodlust instinct? But that wouldn’t make sense – they’re predators!”
I flinched. We were being too loud. I should just get back on track and ask about human books. "Did your human friend tell you of any human books I could try? Maybe if we could understand them from within…"
She paused for a moment, presumably scouring her memory for information that did not exist. “Not really. He mentioned that their ‘crime mystery’ genre is somewhat similar to our Exterminator fiction after I told him what it was about… I’ve read one book from that genre and it’s been quite fruitful in trying to understand them.”
I flicked my ear in agreement, instead of nodding, like a normal person.
"...Alright. Well, thank you for the conversation. I will… try to find something before the clerk gets mad at me," I said, blooming a little as it sunk in that I'd been at the station for so long.
Her feathers puffed up a little in surprise. “Ah, yeah, you’re right! My bad, but it’s been quite an interesting conversation.”
"...Would you like to talk about humans some other time?"
“Yeah! I think that’d be nice.”
We exchanged information, and she headed off. I returned to the screen, searching by genre. There was a whole section of human romance. A warm bloom came to the tips of my ears, but it did not stop my paw from tapping the "see more" button.
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2024.05.07 21:47 Mysterious_Bath Into the Fire Booking - Booking any star from Prime TNA in the Ruthless Aggression Era - Part 2

We open Part 2 on the RAW after Summerslam, with The Fallen Angels dripped in gold as they open the show. Daniels opens his session by congratulating Low Ki and Skipper on winning the belts and knows they'll be champs for a long time, especially under his guidance. As for his match, he's glad he managed to get the win over RVD and retain his belt, but he didn't appreciate him re-appearing and trying to jeopardize his protege's chances of winning the tag belts. RVD comes out, telling Daniels that he was giving Hurricane and Rosey a fair chance in the match, something which couldn't be done with him at ringside. Daniels feels there's more to it though, and asks RVD if that was his only intention. RVD says it was at first, but quickly changes his stance, telling Daniels he had him in that match and he knows he can beat him. Daniels looks at him, asking if he wants another title match. RVD says he does, but that doesn't work for Daniels, who tells him to get to the back of the line. RVD walks away, but quickly gets a cheap slap on him before rolling out of the ring and telling him he's coming for that belt.
Daniels doesn't let this deter him though, and to really rub it in RVD's face, he decides to host an Open Challenge next week for his belt. The call is answered by Frankie Kazarian, a man who's undefeated on Velocity and clearly wants to shoot his shot to the top of the card.
RAW, August 29th 2005:
Daniels returns to his usual cocky nature, teasing Kazarian in the opening of the bout as he tries wearing him out with multiple holds. Kazarian fights back though, not wanting to let this opportunity slip away so easily. He manages to make it back to his feet, but Daniels cuts him right back down to size, increasing the pressure on the rookie here. Daniels decides he's had enough and plants him in the centre of the mat with an Angel's Wings to get a three coun...KAZARIAN KICKS OUT!! HOW HAS HE DONE THIS?!! Daniels looks at him, stunned in complete disbelief as the fans are clamoring him on to pull off a massive upset. Daniels knows something happened that shouldn't have as he picks Kazarian's lifeless body up and goes for a second Angel's Wings but he falls right down to the mat. Daniels laughs, picking him up ever so slowly as KAZARIAN HITS A BICYCLE KICK OUT OF NOWHERE!! BOTH MEN FALL TO THE MAT AS THE FANS ARE GOING ECSTATIC RIGHT NOW!!
Kazarian crawls over to the corner as Daniels is completely out of it, using the turnbuckles to pull himself up. Daniels starts making the climb back to his feet, but Kazarian is already waiting as he HITS BACK TO THE FUTURE!! 1..2..KICKOUT AT THE LAST MOMENT!! DANIELS STAYS IN THIS BY THE SKIN OF HIS TEETH!! Kazarian holds his head in frustration, not knowing what he can possibly do to finish this match off. He gets back to his feet and takes a moment to think before going back to Daniels, picking him up to his feet and driving him to the corner. He puts him back first on the top turnbuckle and lifts him on his head, looking to hit another Back to the Future BUT DANIELS DELIVERS A POISONRANA!! Kazarian is laid flat on the mat as Daniels gets to the corner, jumping up every turnbuckle and HITTING THE BME!! 1..2..3!! DANIELS RETAINS HIS TITLE IN A CONTEST MUCH CLOSER THAN IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN!!
Result: Christopher Daniels (c) def. Frankie Kazarian by pinfall to retain the Intercontinental Championship (7:54)
Kazarian makes it back up to his feet as Daniels surprisingly offers his hand out. Kazarian looks to shake it BUT DANIELS KICKS HIM IN THE GUT!! He hooks his arms, looking to hit the Angel's Wings BUT RVD RUSHES OUT TO MAKE THE SAVE!! Daniels welcomes him to the ring as they go at it once again, throwing punches as RVD gets the upper hand, hitting him with a Spinning Heel Kick and almost going for the Five Star Frog Splash but Low Ki and Skipper make it down in time to pull him out of the ring, with RVD aiding Kazarian back to his feet as they stare down the Fallen Angels.
The Fallen Angels have a confrontation with RVD and Kazarian backstage, with RVD saying he wants Daniels in the ring tonight, which is something he isn't getting. Kazarian pipes up, throwing out the idea of a 6-man tag between The Fallen Angels and the three of them. Both the Fallen Angels and RVD are confused, but the looks quickly change as Ric Flair appears, asking RVD and Kazarian if they need a partner. They accept this as the Fallen Angels looks pissed off.
RAW, September 5th 2005:
The Fallen Angels (Christopher Daniels, Low Ki and Elix Skipper) vs Rob Van Dam, Frankie Kazarian and Ric Flair
Daniels and Kazarian start the match off, restarting where it left off last time as Kazarian shows much more confidence than last week, even bringing Daniels to the mat as the match starts off horribly for the Fallen Angels. It takes Low Ki entering the ring to get them on the right foot, bringing the fight to Flair as he stands out in this match, even going toe to toe with RVD as a striking war begins in the centre of the ring, with RVD eventually getting the upper hand, causing Low Ki to tag out, with Skipper coming into the ring and despite his best efforts, doesn't manage to wear RVD down enough, causing Daniels to be brought into the match as they go at it once again, with RVD still showcasing dominance over the IC Champ. He almost comes close to pinning the champ following a Split-Legged Moonsault, but Skipper comes to the save, beating him down and continuing to do so despite the ref's best efforts to get him out of the ring. The other participants in the match enter the ring now as this match descends into chaos, with the ref forced to call it off as a brawl is unleashed between the six men.
Result: The Fallen Angels vs RVD, Frankie Kazarian and Ric Flair ended in a no contest (11:38)
Bischoff is forced to come out, calling for the brawl to be broken up before he fires all six men on the spot. They eventually stop fighting as he announces that if they all want to fight, they can do so on Sunday at Unforgiven. Bischoff announces that Daniels will be defending his IC title against RIC FLAIR?!! Everyone in the ring looks stunned as it looked almost sure like RVD would be getting another title shot. Bischoff ensures there's more, telling RVD and Kazarian that they will both be fighting for belts as well as they will FACE LOW KI AND SKIPPER FOR THE TAG BELTS IN THE OPENER OF THE SHOW!! The Fallen Angels try to protest against this but it's too late for them.
Unforgiven 2005:
The Fallen Angels defend their titles against RVD and Kazarian in the opener of the show, with it proving to be an evenly contested match throughout, with no clear signs of a winner throughout. Skipper would be the closest to gaining a pinfall in first half of the match, hitting Kazarian with the Instant Replay, but only managing to get a 2.5 count. The second half would do a complete 180° as RVD and Kazarian look dead set on winning the belts, but an appearance from Daniels fights against this, pulling RVD off the ring mat when Kazarian looked to get the hot tag, leaving him all alone as Skipper would hit the Sudden Death to gain the 3 count and retain the titles.
- Christopher Daniels (c) vs Ric Flair for the Intercontinental Championship
Potentially the biggest match Daniels has had in his WWE career as he's been forced to defend the IC title against one of the greatest wrestlers of all time. The match starts off slow, with neither man wanting to rush into things as they exchange grapples and holds, with Daniels managing a firm hold over Flair in the opening of the contest, keeping him grounded and working on tiring him out. Flair isn't one to be knocked down that easy and fights against this, eventually getting back to his feet and taking Daniels to the corner, where he begins unleashing chops on him. Flair would control the match for most of the first half of the bout, with the fight even taking to the outside, with Daniels gaining the upper hand out here after driving Flair knee first into the steel steps.
Daniels doesn't give Flair a break in the second half of the match, unleashing hell on him as he hits a flurry of heavy offence, but nothing that manages to get a 3 count in the match. Flair would come back out of nowhere though, raking Daniels eyes and hitting an Atomic Drop BEFORE LOCKING THE FIGURE FOUR IN!! Daniels is left screaming as he tries crawling to the ropes, with Flair increasing the pressure the more Daniels moves. Low Ki and Skipper make their presence felt at this point, coming down to ringside to rally their mentor on as he makes it back to his feet. RVD and Kazarian arrive not long after, wanting to ensure no foul play goes on in this match. Flair and Daniels would wrestle a total of 14 minutes here, with Flair showing a great amount of resiliency as he managed to kick out of the BME. He would make it to the top rope, looking to finish the match off as he ATTEMPTS A DIVING KNEE DROP BUT DANIELS EVADES!! Flair clutches his knee as Daniels looks to capitalize, grabbing Flair and HITTING THE ANGEL'S WINGS!! 1..2..3!! DANIELS RETAINS THE IC CHAMPIONSHIP AGAINST THE NATURE BOY!!
Result: Christopher Daniels (c) def. Ric Flair by pinfall to retain the Intercontinental Championship (14:02)
RVD and Kazarian would aid Flair to his feet as The Fallen Angels stand tall at the top of the ramp once again. Flair is insistent on walking on his own, but collapses, presumably due to the bad landing on the missed knee drop. RVD and Kazarian aid him up the ramp as they stare down the Fallen Angels, who laugh at the sight of the men they beat. All of a sudden though, KAZARIAN SLAMS FLAIR ONTO THE STEEL RAMP!! Even the Fallen Angels looks confused as he begins unleashing on RVD, driving him into the barricade before sending him back in the ring and HITTING BACK TO THE FUTURE!! WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!! He makes his way up the ramp and offers his hand out to Daniels in the same way he did a few weeks prior, with DANIELS SHAKING IT!! He raises Kazarian's hand as it's apparant that The Fallen Angels have only grown stronger tonight.
The Fallen Angels take to RAW to discuss what happened at Unforgiven, with Kazarian surprisingly taking the lead instead of Daniels. He explains that he couldn't deal with being surrounded by losers, and reveals that he's been in cohorts with Daniels since before the supposed "Open Challenge". Daniels takes over, finding it amusing that RVD was stupid enough to believe that Kazarian would actually be on his side, telling him that this stupidity shows he clearly isn't worthy enough to hold the IC title. Kazarian then issues the challenge out to RVD, telling him he wants him in the ring tonight, desperately wanting to beat the life out of him. RVD comes out, telling Kazarian that he's a snake and can't believe he actually trusted him. As for the challenge, he accepts, as long as it keeps him close to the IC title he doesn't care.
RVD and Kazarian take to the ring next, with both men having a point to prove in this match. RVD looks to get himself closer to taking the IC title from Daniels and Kazarian wants to make a big opening statement as the newest member of the Fallen Angels. RVD fights with a load of aggression, which would eventually come to bite him in the ass as Kazarian would manage to evade a Five Star Frog Splash and hit Back to the Future to get a massive win. Daniels and Kazarian aren't done there though, laying a beatdown on RVD BUT MATT HARDY RUNS TO THE RING TO MAKE THE SAVE!! He drives Kazarian and Daniels out of the ring before grabbing a mic and telling them that he wants a tag match against both of them next week.
RAW, September 26th 2005:
- The Fallen Angels (Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian) vs Rob Van Dam and Matt Hardy
Daniels and Hardy start off the bout as Hardy looks to recuperate some of his lost momentum from his previous matches with Edge. He would gain the upper hand early into the bout, but Daniels uses some underhanded tactics to get his way before tagging Kazarian into the match. He continues to mount the pressure on Hardy, who is forced to get the tag into RVD, a man looking to get his win back from last week. He flips the script on this match, showing a completely different side to last week as he one ups Kazarian, almost gaining a 3 count on him following a Rolling Thunder, with Kazarian feeling the need to tag out, leaving RVD in the ring with the IC Champ once again. They go at it, throwing repeated strikes to each other before going agile with their moves, using their speed to try and outskill one another.
In the end, Daniels would hit RVD with the Last Rites, but only managing to get a 2 count from this. He drags RVD to the corner and jumps up the ropes, looking to hit a BME BUT HARDY STOPS HIM AT THE LAST SECOND!! Both men are laid out on the mat as they both crawl to the hot tag, with Daniels tagging in Kazarian and EDGE PULLING HARDY OFF THE APRON!! Luckily the ref didn't see it as RVD tries pleading with him that Edge is here but he doesn't believe it as KAZARIAN HITS HIM WITH A BICYCLE KICK!! 1..2..3!! KAZARIAN SCORES YET ANOTHER PINFALL OVER RVD!!
Result: The Fallen Angels def. Rob Van Dam and Matt Hardy by pinfall (9:44)
Daniels and Kazarian are in the ring next week at RAW Homecoming, feeling they have finally got a clear view of their future, and one where RVD and Matt Hardy aren't trying to ruin it. Edge and Lita would come out however, expecting some sort of thanks from Daniels and Kazarian for helping them win the match last week. They show no gratitude however, with Edge then threatening to take Daniels title off him. Hardy interrupts however, questioning how petty Edge is to still be going after him despite beating him multiple times. They go at it, with things turning more chaotic as RVD arrives, telling the rest of the competition that they won't be getting a title shot until he does. The bickering continues until Kazarian throws the first punch at RVD, with Hardy and Edge brawling after as the five men in the ring all get at it. This all leads to an announcement that next week, Daniels will defend his title in a FATAL FIVE WAY AGAINST EVERY OTHER MAN IN THE RING!! He protests, calling this a conspiracy against him as he now has to prepare to defend his title against four other men.
RAW, October 10th 2005:
- Christopher Daniels (c) vs Frankie Kazarian vs Rob Van Dam vs Edge vs Matt Hardy in a Fatal Five Way for the Intercontinental Championship
A lot of tension surrounds the five men in this match, with everyone having history with at least one person in this match. Edge takes on Hardy and Kazarian gets to RVD before he can get to Daniels, leaving the champ on his own. He decides to join his teammate in beating RVD down, seeing him as the biggest threat in the match. They would take him to the outside and take him out of commission early, driving him through the announce table with an Angel Wings. They then make it down to the ring once again, going after Edge and Hardy, who decide to take a man each, not letting them get between their blood feud as they eventually clear them away and continue their war in the ring.
Daniels would be seen a minute or too after, breaking up a pin from Edge after hitting an Edge-O-Matic, dragging him out of the ring and sending him into the steel steps as he looks to pick up the scraps of Hardy. Kazarian gets there first though, and tries his best efforts to put Hardy down for the 3 count, even hitting a Flux Capacitor which Daniels is forced to break up. He has a moment with Kazarian in the ring, but Van Dam somehow makes his way back into the match, hitting a springboard double crossbody as the fans begin rallying around him. He targets Kazarian as Daniels continues his fight with Edge on the outside, eventually sending him to the mat with a thunderous Roundhouse Kick, giving him the best opportunity of winning the match. He climbs up the ropes and HITS THE FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH..BUT DANIELS RUSHES TO THE RING AND PUSHES RVD OUT OF THE PIN!! 1..2..3!! DANIELS STEALS THE WIN FROM RVD!! HE KEEPS HIS TITLE BY THE SKIN OF HIS TEETH!!
Result: Christopher Daniels (c) def. Frankie Kazarian, Rob Van Dam, Edge and Matt Hardy by pinfall to retain the Intercontinental Championship (14:51)
RVD has been robbed of the title and lets his feelings about this known, initiating a brawl next week on RAW as he tells Daniels he's getting that title no matter what. RVD is later seen in Bischoff's office, where he decides that next week, RVD will get his opportunity once again. Daniels hears about this and goes to Bischoff's office, tearing it apart and almost attacking the GM but security manage to arrive in time to stop him as they escort him out of the building.
RAW, October 24th 2005:
- Christopher Daniels (c) vs Rob Van Dam III for the Intercontinental Championship
A match that has been building for the past two months. There is no escape for Daniels now as the bell rings, with the two men locking up in the centre of the ring, both trying to overpower the other but neither can get the upper hand as both men share the same amount of determination and hatred to beat the other. Daniels eventually ducks into the ropes, breaking the hold as he uses this to his advantage, slipping under RVD and bringing him to the mat with a leg pick before working on RVD's head, trying to squeeze the breath out of him from the get-go. They pick up the pace following this, with both men displaying an overwhelming desire to knock the clean shit out of the other as RVD utilizes his martial arts expertise to gain an upper hand over Daniels in the first half of the match.
The match becomes much more fast-paced in the second half of the match, with both men performing great spots as the fight goes to the outside, with Daniels using the barricade to get himself back in the game. Once the fight returns to the ring, desperation kicks in as both men try hitting their finishers to no avail. They would secure a number of 2 counts, with Daniels getting the closest to winning the match after hitting a Last Rites. RVD would get a second wind however, and after a Spinning Heel Kick he crushes Daniels with a Rolling Thunder. Feeling this is his moment, he climbs to the top rope and HITS A FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH!! 1..2..KICKOUT!! HOW IS DANIELS STILL IN THIS?!!
We keep going in the match, with Daniels really struggling to get a breakthrough as RVD continues mounting pressure, feeling this is his moment to win the title. Daniels manages to capitalize on a quick mistake from RVD, reversing a Roundhouse Kick and dropping him with a Reverse STO. He drags him to the corner and jumps up the ropes before HITTING THE BME!! 1..2..KICKOUT!! DANIELS CAN'T BELIEVE IT!! RVD IS STILL ALIVE IN THIS BOUT!! Daniels is clearly experiencing delusion now, confronting the ref and telling him it was a slow count. The ref argues back and in a moment of frustration, DANIELS STRIKES THE REF DOWN!! He looks at what he's just done and realizes he's got a chance now as Kazarian rushes to the ring, coming into the ring to beat RVD down. Daniels orders him to get a chair as he enters the ring and passes him it. Daniels calls for RVD to get to his feet as he CRACKS THE CHAIR OVER HIS HEAD...OR NOT AS RVD DUCKS AND HITS DANIELS WITH A VAN DAMINATOR!! Kazarian tries rushing him but RVD KNOCKS HIM CLEAN OUT WITH A ROUNDHOUSE KICK!! Seeing this is his moment, he throws the chair out of the ring and climbs to the top rope before HITTING A SECOND FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH!! The ref is regaining his bearings as he sees the cover..1.....2.....3!! VAN DAM HAS DONE IT!! HE HAS FINALLY WON THE IC TITLE OFF DANIELS!!
Result: Rob Van Dam def. Christopher Daniels (c) by pinfall to win the Intercontinental Championship (16:39)
Daniels is enraged by this, and on the next episode of RAW confronts Bischoff, telling him he wants an rematch for his IC title and he wants it tonight. Bischoff tells him that it isn't possible, with RVD not in the arena tonight. Daniels grabs him by his collar, telling him that he's not leaving until he gets a rematch confirmed. Bischoff agrees to this, telling him that RVD will be at Taboo Tuesday tomorrow, so he can get his rematch there. Daniels seems alright with this, but Bischoff tells him there's a catch. Since the show is centred around the fans being in control, they decide what the stipulation of the match is. Daniels is fine with this, knowing there's no stipulation he couldn't beat RVD in.
It comes to the night of Taboo Tuesday, with the fans voting on what type of match Daniels and Van Dam will meet in. Gaining a majority of 62%, the fans have voted for the match to be A THIRTY MINUTE IRON MAN MATCH!! There's a mixed bag with this stipulation for both men. On the one hand, they have the opportunity to score as many pinfalls as they can. On the other hand, they have to remain at a top level for 30 whole minutes.
Taboo Tuesday 2005:
- Christopher Daniels vs Rob Van Dam (c) IV in a 30-minute Iron Man match for the Intercontinental Championship
They get the ball rolling quickly here tonight, initiating a number of roll-ups to try and score a cheap pin but neither manage to do so as Daniels brings the fight to the outside. They brawl on the outside for a bit before coming back in to prevent the ref hitting a 10 count, with RVD gaining the edge over Daniels and keeping him grounded. They both know to pace themselves in the opening of the match which causes them to both try and wear their opponent out early on. It's hard to score a pin when both men are taking it slow in the early goings of the match, with the closest to someone gaining a fall being after Daniels locked RVD in the Crossface, only to have RVD get a rope break.
It would take 18 minutes for someone to gain a fall in the match, with this coming after RVD managed to duck an Enzugiri from Daniels, converting it into a roll-up which only gets a 2. They both spring back to their feet as RVD rushes Daniels who ducks under and hits a reverse STO AND TURNS IT INTO A KOJI CLUTCH!! RVD HAS NOWHERE TO GO AS DANIELS HAS THIS LOCKED IN TIGHT!! RVD tries wriggling out, which only makes Daniels lock it in deeper as RVD IS FORCED TO TAP!! WE HAVE THE FIRST FALL OF THE NIGHT!! Daniels won't release the hold as the ref is forced to break it up, pushing Daniels into the corner and giving him a warning as he goes to check on RVD. Daniels follows though, pushing the ref away and continuing to attack RVD with the ref unable to break it up. This forces him to TAKE AWAY THE FALL!! WE ARE STILL AT 0-0 HERE!!
This forces Daniels off RVD, instead putting his focus on the ref, screaming at him and telling him to give the point back but it's ref's decision that's final. Daniels is pissed off now as he returns to RVD who's ALREADY BACK ON HIS FEET AND HITS DANIELS WITH A SPINNING HEEL KICK!! RVD rushes to the ropes, climbing to the top turnbuckle as he HITS A FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH!! 1..2..3!! RVD NOW HAS THE FIRST PINFALL OF THE MATCH!! RVD takes a second to himself as Daniels rolls out of the ring, needing to take a breather after what just happened. RVD follows him outside, not wanting him to gain any additional steam as they make it to the announce table where Daniels picks RVD's leg and sends him face first into the table. Daniels gains his bearings and realizes the opportunity he has right now, tearing the covering off the table and throwing RVD onto the table. In a repeat of the Fatal five way a few weeks prior, DANIELS PUTS RVD THROUGH THE TABLE WITH AN ANGEL'S WIN..RVD ESCAPES AND KICKS DANIELS IN THE HEAD!! Daniels falls on the table as RVD now is the one in control, and being the madman he is, decides to climb to the top rope and stares down Daniels before JUMPING OFF FOR THE FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH...
...BUT NO-ONE'S HOME AS KAZARIAN PULLS DANIELS OFF THE TABLE!! Kazarian tells Daniels to go do something about RVD as he pushes him into the ring and covers him..1..2..3!! DANIELS HAS PULLED IT BACK!! IT'S 1-1 NOW!! Daniels knows RVD is vulnerable now and decides to take advantage of this, pulling him up and HITTING AN ANGEL'S WINGS!! 1..2..3!! IT'S 2-1 TO DANIELS!! HOW THE TIDES HAVE TURNED ON THE CHAMP!! Pinfalls would be scarce from now until the final five minutes of the match, with both men starting to be hit by fatigue. This doesn't stop them from showing a desire to win the match, with both men suffering tight near-falls which amazes the fans.
We come to the final five minutes and things desperately pick up here, with Daniels wanting to secure his lead and RVD needing to get a fall back in order to keep himself in the match. One of the two would gain a fall, as RVD would pick Daniels up on his shoulders and hit a Steamroller Slam. With Daniels down, he climbs to the top rope and HITS A FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH!! 1..2..3!! RVD PULLS IT BACK TO 2-2!! It's all even now as both men are desperately scrounging for a third pinfall. Only one man can get it though as they throw everything at each other, but nothing seems to work. A last gasp cheap shot from Daniels puts him in the driver's seat as he HITS THE LAST RITES!! He then drags RVD's body over to the corner and HITS THE BME!! 1..2..KICKOUT!! HOW THE FUCK HAS RVD KICKED OUT OF THAT?!!
Daniels is kicking himself in the corner as just 30 seconds remains, knowing he has to do something fast to get the win. He picks RVD's lifeless body up and hooks his arms as HE HITS THE ANGEL'S WI..RVD SLIPS UNDER!! Daniels turns around AND GETS HIT WITH A DOUBLE UNDERHOOK FACEBUSTER!! RVD quickly rolls off and HITS A ROLLING THUNDER!! He uses his momentum to roll to the ropes, jumping up to the top and HITTING A FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH!! 1..2..3!! RVD SCORES A THIRD PIN IN THE MATCH!! THIS MATCH IS OVER!! All that can be done is watch the last five seconds tick down as THE BELL RINGS!! THE MATCH IS OVER AND RVD IS STILL THE CHAMPION!!
Result: Rob Van Dam (c) def. Christopher Daniels 3-2 in an Ironman Match to retain the Intercontinental Championship (30:00)
Things go from bad to worse for The Fallen Angels as later on in the show, they would end up losing their tag belts as Big Show and Kane would turn Low Ki and Skipper into a bunch of chumps, absolutely squashing them and winning the belts in under 5 minutes. This causes a tough night on RAW, with morale clearly low within the team. Well for everyone except Kazarian, who has promised to bring the IC title back to the Fallen Angels. Daniels is advised by Kazarian to pursue greater things now he's dabbled with the IC title, with Cena and the WWE Championship looking very appealing to him. As for the tag champs, they already have a rematch scheduled so they can be prepared for that. Daniels is thrown into the deep end now he's pursuing the WWE title, with Bischoff giving him a star-making match against KURT ANGLE!!
RAW, November 7th 2005:
A man who is now on a warpath after losing his chance at the WWE Championship last week, Angle looks to regain his momentum here tonight against Daniels. Both men excel in this match, feeling they both have a point to prove as they try their best to one up the other. They go at it for 13 minutes in a thrilling contest, with multiple near-falls throughout the encounter as Daniels really shows he can hang in the main event spot. Tonight would not be his night though, as Angle would force him to tap out to the Ankle Lock, although Daniels has no reason to be upset after this performance.
Result: Kurt Angle def. Christopher Daniels by submission (13:05)
The next episode of RAW would be a very somber one, with the show celebrating the life and career of Eddie Guerrero. Daniels is featured within the ten bell salute, but isn't featured in a match on the card.
As we get back to regular programming, Survivor Series is creeping around the corner and Daniels finds himself embroiled in the midst of the Smackdown vs Raw feud. He would feature as one of the lumberjacks in the JBL vs Michaels match, which was eventually thrown out as a no contest after both brands began brawling with each other. This would all culminate in a 5v5 tag at Survivor Series, with Team Smackdown taking on Team RAW.
Survivor Series 2005:
Daniels would actually end up opening this bout, coming face to face with the rookie Lashley. Lashley has been on a tear since his debut, and continues this sharp momentum as he makes Daniels looks like the rookie, completely overpowering him and sending him into the corner where Kane would tag himself in. Daniels would remain on the apron for some time as the match would not go well for RAW, with Carlito eliminated first and Big Show following not long after. Low Ki and Skipper would make their presence felt, attacking both Kane and Big Show during the match which would cost Team RAW yet another member as dissension begins breaking down between Daniels and Michaels. They do manage to bring it to a 2v3, with Michaels and Daniels having to put their grievances to the side to work together. They both manage to eliminate JBL before Daniels scores a monumental pinfall over Batista, leaving it at a 2v1 as Michaels and Daniels take on Orton. Things would turn sour for Daniels as he would be on the receiving end of an RKO, with Michaels not showing any willingness to make the save. This would inevitably cost him as he would also eat an RKO, leaving Orton as the sole survivor for Team Smackdown.
Result: Team Smackdown def. Team RAW in a 5v5 Survivor Series match (24:33)
Daniels and Michaels would end up having a confrontation on the next RAW, with this eventually leading to Daniels attacking Michaels backstage. A six-man tag would then take place, with The Fallen Angels taking on Michaels, Kane and Big Show, the two men that the former champs took out at Survivor Series. Daniels would end up being pinned in this match following a Double Chokeslam, leaving his ship sinking even further. Things between Daniels and Michaels wouldn't be over there though, with the two being booked against each other for the next edition of RAW.
RAW, December 5th 2005:
An absolute dream of a match, these two put on a show-stealing contest in the main event as they have some tension to let out following Survivor Series. They go at it for 19 minutes, even taking the main event spot of the show as they put on a fast-paced, thrilling contest that keeps the crowd hooked the whole time. Once again though, it would be an unfortunate night for Daniels as he would hear the sounds of Sweet Chin Music, with Michaels picking up a win in his quest back to the WWE Championship.
Result: Shawn Michaels def. Christopher Daniels by pinfall (19:53)
If Daniels thought things couldn't get any worse, he'd be dead wrong. A rematch with Michaels in Afghanistan would be set for next week, but an attack from the Fallen Angels would cause this to be called off. This would lead to Daniels being forced to fight Cena in a non-title match, with the champ making short work of the challenger, leaving the question as to whether he's main event calibre material or not.
The time to prove himself would come the next week, as he'd be given an Elimination Chamber Qualifying match against Kane, where once again he'd come up short. On the other hand, Kazarian has found himself rising up the ranks nicely, getting himself into the Elimination Chamber match after beating Benjamin whilst simultaneously shooting his shot at RVD and the IC title. The pinnacle moment would come on the last episode of RAW in 2005, where Kazarian would do what Daniels couldn't and manages to bring the IC title back home to the Fallen Angels. They all enter the ring to celebrate as Daniels begins to cut a promo, but Kazarian stops him, telling him he has a few words he wants to say. He says it feels great to hold a belt in WWE, and thanks Daniels for giving him the opportunity to get into WWE. However, for the past few months he's felt there's always been something that's held the group back. Restricting them from reaching their full potential. Daniels is confused and asks what the issue is as LOW KI AND SKIPPER ATTACK DANIELS!! WHY ARE THEY BETRAYING THEIR LEADER!! Kazarian crouches down to Daniels' level, telling him that the issue has been him, before throwing the mic down and SMASHING THE IC TITLE ACROSS HIS SKULL!! The Fallen Angels walk away as Daniels is left in a pool of his own blood, with this clearly signalling the end of him in the Fallen Angels, which brings Part 2 to an end.
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2024.05.07 04:17 coffeeglitterqueen Camp Thellgar Part 1 CW

CW Domestic Abuse, graphic violence
Laurens' stomach seemed to flip and jolt with every bump of the road heading to the motel outside of town just past the main supermarket. Tears ran down her face. The car seemed to fishtail a little as she pulled in. There were several problems with her marriage. Namely that he had a tendency to hit her and accuse her of cheating on him, the most current problem was that he was cheating on her in a motel where everyone they knew could see. Lauren wasn’t thinking clearly as she banged on the door, she knew right away which one it would be, she could hear his voice coming out from it.
“OPEN UP!” She screamed as she pounded on the door. Lauren could feel the general sensation of her hand resisting the door. It would more than likely hurt at some point when she came off the adrenaline.
Then, the door did open. Daniel Anderson took up most of the frame and he was angry. Lauren could hear the other girl screaming inside but couldn’t seem to make out what she was saying. Her heart stopped as she looked into Daniels face. He was Angry. The kind of angry that meant he was going to hurt her, whether anyone could see it or not. Lauren backed up from the door to avoid being pulled in the room but Daniel followed her out.
“What are you doing here?” Daniel asked, his voice was even and low.
“I got 3 calls about you being here with some whore.” Lauren retorted. She had started edging towards her car at this point, seemingly just now realizing she had made a mistake in coming here. Her heart seemed to stop altogether as he reached for her.
Lauren ducked but he caught her by her hair, winding the strands in between his fingers and yanking her face so that her ear was next to her mouth.
“What did you call her?” He whispered through clenched teeth. Lauren remained mute at this point. She felt her heart speed up and she tried to figure out how to get out of this. He’d never hit her in public. If she could remind him where they were… “I asked you a question Bitch.
If Lauren had thought about answering at that point, she wasn’t given much of a chance. He swung her head up and then forward, the momentum knocking her to the ground. Then he kicked her, pain blossomed through her midsection stunning her and she had trouble catching her breath. His hands came back down and he began throwing her face into the bumper of his bright red truck. After a minute he threw her face in a different direction and she could taste gravel.
“Apologize.” Daniel said in a warning voice. Lauren tried to stand but he mimicked grabbing at her and she shrunk back. “Apologize to her for calling her a whore.”
Lauren said nothing, somewhat in shock and mostly in pain. She could taste blood and felt it running down her face. This time he did grab her by the arm and yanked her up in one movement.
“I Said. Apologize. “ his words were clear.
Lauren did. Stuttering out an I’m sorry in the other woman’s direction.
“You best be home when I get back.” With that Daniel turned around and went back in the room.
Lauren assessed her options but she couldn’t seem to think. She reached into her car and pulled out her purse and started walking. She couldn’t see out of one eye hardly at all and her head hurt in the back. Lauren knew that he had pulled out a significant amount of hair. She thought she recalled some sharp pain as her face was pulled back from the bumper but she couldn’t remember what had happened in any sort of order.
It was at least 2 miles to her friend’s house. Lauren knocked on the door and when Natalie opened the door Lauren pushed her way in. Natalie hissed as she looked at Lauren.
“What the fuck happened?” Natalie gingerly touched her eye, or at least Laurent thought it was the area heer eye should be in. She hadn’t realized how numb she’d been getting here until she wasn’t numb anymore and the throbbing started up. Todd, Natalie’s husband came from the bedrooms and audibly gasped as well. Lauren headed for the hair salon in the back as Natalie whispered to Todd.
Natalie found Lauren in the salon, lights on and sitting in the chair.
“I’ve got enough here for a haircut but I’ll have to get back to you on the last minute/middle of the night fee. I need it all chopped off if you would. I know he ripped a bit in the back so it’s uneven anyway. Honestly it’s irresponsible to keep my hair this long anyway,do people still do that Kate plus Eight hair? The may I speak to your manager hair?” Lauren had trouble forming the words but she kept going hoping that Natalie understood her. She purposefully faced away from the mirror.
“I can cut your hair for sure. Wouldn’t you rather go to a hospital?” Natalie asked carefully playing with Lauren’s hair. Lauren shookher head quickly and immediately regretted it. Todd came in the room with an ice pack and a washcloth. Natalie filled up a bowl of water and started carefully patting away dried blood and finding the actual cuts. There was water and ibuprofen with a few tylenol mixed in, Lauren had trouble with it.
Natalie cut her hair silently. Working around one spot and then going back to it before announcing that it was as good as it was going to get there until the massive cut healed.
“You want to stay here tonight babe?” Natalie asked as she once more took to wiping her face from the still open cuts.
“No I couldn't do that to you, he told me to go home and when he finds that I’m not there… I left my car at the motel. '' Lauren knew on some level she had and knew there had been a reason, but now that the adrenaline was amping down and quickly she had no idea what she was going to do now.
“The motel?”
“Yeah, he met that girl..that one… Beth, that’s her name. They were up there and I had 3 people call me to tell me his truck was there. I just lost it and drove up there. I didn’t expect this to happen. I figured he’d be caught and apologetic.”
“That fucking bitch, I know her. She has no shame. Anyone gives her a little attention and she thinks they’re married. Tells everyone about it. She smells to high heaven too.” Natalie said incensed.
“Well I got up there and confronted him and he did this until I apologi-apolo-. “ Lauren felt sick suddenly and didn’t bother to finish. It hurt more to talk anyway.
“Why don’t you kick him out? It’s your house, the bills are in your name, you survived years without him before so it’s not like you need to worry about money. Serve him with eviction papers and go hide out somewhere until the month is up. Then bar him from the house.”
“I can’t afford a vacation and last time I tried to kick him out, it didn’t go well.I’ve got nothing in savings or otherwise. I can’t stay with anyone because he’ll come find me and hurt someone else in the process. My kids are already going to be pissed about this and if I disappear it's them he’ll hassle.I can’t afford the medical bills if I go in for this and I can’t afford the next beating if I don’t go home and get there before he does. Plus he knows exactly where I work.”
“You aren’t going to have a job if you're dead and he’s going to kill you.. At this point we’re just waiting for when. I can help you. I can loan you money, Fuck, I’ll just give you the god damn money. “
“We both know you don’t have any more than I do. “ Lauren said leaning back
“Well, you aren’t going home tonight, call your kids and warn them that he’ll be calling and to get a police car out there or something. I’ll call Lottie and explain that you are taking a few days off, and you most certainly are taking a few days off ma’am. You can’t go in looking like that, Lottie’ll kick you back out as soon as you show up. I know where you can go for now.”
Lauren went out back, wincing as she lit up a cigarette and took a few good drags before calling her oldest daughter and explaining that Daniel was going to be angry and to be on the lookout and if she could please call her siblings because she just did not have the energy tonight. Lauren promised to go to the hospital, figuring she’d end up going at some point and assured her daughter that she would be fine. After hanging up Todd got her attention at the edge of the yard and gestured toward the car. Lauren got up and limped over to it to climb in and wondering why the actual fuck she had worn flip flops tonight for this. .
It was a long drive out of town and into the mountains. Lauren apologized profusely every time she looked at the car clock. Todd waved his hand dismissively and handed her a fresh ice pack.
“We’re going to see my cousin, he lives up in the woods doing work for the park. He’s pretty far out there and doesn’t come into town much so Daniel won’t know about him. I’d turn your phone off as a precaution though. GPS trackers and whatnot.”
Lauren had already turned her phone off and felt herself dozing off. Unsure of how long she had slept she was awoken by the car stopping. Todd told her to wait where she was while he talked to his cousin. Lauren wondered what she was going to do if this guy didn’t let her stay here tonight. A few minutes later Todd was back and helping her hobble inside. The other man looked like he’d been woken up. He looked Lauren up and down and then waved Todd away. Todd slumped his shoulders and walked back to the car.
“I’m Eric, you’ll get my room. I’ve got some shirts on the bed to sleep in. The dog might insist on laying with you don’t mind dogs too much. I’ll be right out here on the couch if you need anything, bathroom is over here. I can get you a water and some more ibuprofen.” Eric seemed nice. Lauren worried that Daniel would find her out here with another man and finish what he started at the motel. The motel that seemed to be eons ago. Lauren felt her knees start to buckle and she swayed. Eric grabbed her and helped to the bed. Lauren rolled over and managed to get under the blankets before passing out.
Lauren came to hazily and found that the man here was in the room, he seemed taller as in a lot taller.
“I just want to touch you.” Eric slurred out. He swayed awkwardly and seemed to float to the bed, his hands grabbed at her. Lauren was frozen and then noticed to her horror that her husband was right behind him. Daniel came around to the other side of the bed smiling as if he’d known all along that she would be here. Lauren pulled her legs back and tried to scoot back into the headboard as the men got on the bed and started pulling her legs apart and shoving their palms into her collarbone to push her back. Lauren cried out screaming at them to stop as they started biting at her hips and inner thighs. Then they were laughing as they bit into her and pulled her skin off. Eric moved his mouth to her face and bit into her forehead and that set off fireworks of pain through her head.
Lauren awoke gasping and throwing her hands up defensively. Grey light filtered into the room through the blinds and Lauren was soaked in sweat. Her head most definitely did hurt. Badly. The memory of the men all over her made her sick and she jumped out of the bed and scrambled to the hallway towards where she thought the bathroom would be. She tried to grab at her hair to hold it out of the way only to come up short. It was cut. By the time she had finished throwing up and was leaning over the toilet trying to regain her breath, Eric had appeared wiping sleep out of his eyes. Lauren was slightly relieved to see him at his normal size although she shrunk from his touch when he reached out to steady her. He put his hands up to show that he was backing off.
“Hungry? I can make you something to eat to take some painkillers with so you don’t get so sick again. I’m going to run you into town when you think you’re ready. We can go to the ER if you’d like or maybe the prompt care? But you will have to go in. Looks like you broke your face.” Eric spoke slowly to her, keeping his hands where she could see them. Lauren just nodded at him dumbly. Which sent a new wave of agony through her body and she started to crumble. Eric reached carefully and steadied her with as little physical contact as possible. He led her to the couch and got her sat down, bringing her toast and ibuprofen with water.
Lauren tried to relax into the pain until the ibuprofen kicked in. She tried to disappear into herself, she counted by 13s. Finally after what seemed like forever, the painkillers kicked in taking a very large edge off of her pain. She let out a very audible moan as the pain abated ever so slightly. Her shoulders dropped.
“If we’re going into town and avoiding your husband maybe you should wear some different clothes? I’ve got some guy clothes that will fit you ok.” Eric said, handing her folded jeans and a shirt. Lauren just took them and went into the room to change. Mens jeans seemed to change her entire body shape and she did feel a little safer. Lauren had no idea what she was going to do when it came down to it. She was serious last night about not knowing how to leave him. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to, she had tried once before to end things, he called his son over to help him carry his stuff out and then when his son arrived he had held Lauren still while Daniel beat the shit out of her stomach and explained that he wasn’t leaving. Lauren needed her job, the house was paid off, she had gotten it in the divorce and had worked hard to pay it up over the years, but there were other bills and taxes and at some point Lauren wanted to retire long enough to enjoy it.
The car ride to town was nerve wracking. Lauren had used Eric’s phone to call ahead to the doctors office and let them know she would be there and that she would like to be brought back as soon as possible. Lauren waited until they were back in town to turn her phone back on. It powered up and looked fine until the phone started registering the texts and voicemails that had been coming in since last night. Once upon a time Daniel had reacted very negatively to her not responding to his message fast enough so Lauren had eventually set his ringer as an alarm so she knew right away to pick her phone up. Eric’s car sounded like a national disaster was going on. Lauren thought about throwing it out the window as her panic started to grow. Eric grabbed it from her and shoved it under his leg muffling the sound slightly.
“Sorry.” Lauren mumbled. Eric shrugged and didn’t look at her, instead keeping his eyes on the road. “I need to stop at the courthouse first to fill out paperwork for an order of protection and get it filed. Then the doctor's office. That way if he figures out where I am they’re already ready for me. “
Lauren checked her phone for any messages not from Daniel and responded to any that needed it and then she turned it back off as they pulled up to the courthouse. Eric handed her his ball cap to hide her face and they casually walked in together. The security guard stopped her and she lifted her hat and faced him head on. He winced and gave her the floor she needed.
“I still haven’t looked, how bad is it?” Lauren asked as they waited for the elevator.
“It’s pretty bad. But it’s your face and it’s probably mostly swelling. “ Eric said without looking at her.
Lauren knew the clerk and judging by the look on her face she ought to hurry to the doctor’s office.
The doctor’s office was it’s own sort of hell. First, the receptionist didn’t want to send her straight back before the nurse came out. Second, Lauren had been in town long enough that she was paranoid every time someone walked in, which she felt she wouldn’t be if they had sent her back like they had discussed. By the time Odette the nurse came out Lauren was wired and Eric had to calm her down just to get her to walk back to the room.
The doctor came in and looked at her and sighed.
“He really got you this time.” Dr. Livingston said, checking the chart.
“I need pictures to add to the rest, I’ve started the proceedings for an OOP and I’d like to bring in all the pictures.”
“I’m glad to hear that. I’ll have Etta come in with the camera and give you copies to take with you so if they’re lost somehow you can get more from us. Then I’ll do an exam. Does he know where you are?”
“I’m not sure,Eric here has been driving me around and playing my bodyguard. I’d like to move as quickly as possible. I want to be out of town when he catches wind of the OOP.”
“I’ll have them let me know if he shows up.’
The pictures were as intrusive as ever. Etta smiled sympathetically as she helped Lauren tilt her head in different directions to catch every angle. After the pictures Dr. Livingston did a thorough exam and had an XRay done. Prescribed decent painkillers and did a few stitches on her forehead and somewhere in the back that Lauren hadn’t realized was cut up.
Daniel did show up so Eric and Lauren took off out the back and left, the office kept him busy and promised to give her a call as soon as he left. Eric dropped her off a block from her house to grab her things. Her truck was in the driveway. Lauren walked past it and into the house. Though she hadn’t checked the messages she had assumed that the house would be trashed from one of his fits but it wasn’t. She grabbed a few loose outfits and makeup. Glasses and medicine and a charger for a phone she was afraid to turn on. The office called to let her know he had left 2 minutes before. Her chest began to beat erratically. She couldn’t breathe.
“Notsafenotsafenotsafe.” She said to herself repeatedly to get her moving. She remembered to grab socks and real shoes, she even took extra time to get them on. The plan was to meet Eric 2 streets from the backyard in hopes of avoiding Daniel or someone that knew them and might tell Daniel who she had left with. Lauren locked the back door as she slipped out and was stopped by the next door woman who was entirely too nosey and judgemental. Grace had decided she didn’t like Lauren 20 some odd years ago when Grace had moved in. Daniel on the other hand, well she seemed to adore him. Daniel came over and mowed her yard for free and fixed her broken what the fuck ever was broken that day. Lauren knew for a fact that Grace fed Daniel information whether it was true or just some idea that Grace had gotten through her head.
“Well, what happened? Where are you headed then?” Grace asked quickly, trying to engage Lauren.
“Just a tumble and off to check something for The Jakobi's across the yard. See you later Grace.” Lauren kept walking trying to smile pleasantly.
“Oh wait, I need you to ask Danny to do something for me!” Grace hollered after Lauren, Lauren responded by running faster. Daniel’s truck roared around the corner so Lauren decided to take a different route that would involve going through the woods and meeting Eric somewhere else.
Adrenaline poured through Lauren and she put her all into it until she came out a mile up by the gas station. Lauren went inside and borrowed the landline there to call Eric to meet her at the trail head a little further on. She also bought an energy drink and chugged it before leaving. The rush made her eyes feel like they were going to pop out of her head and she laughed before running back into the woods. She imagined she must look like a mess with the backpack on and her short hair sticking everywhere with her eyes wild from the excess caffeine being chugged so quickly. Lauren kept herself going by imagining that she could hear his truck following her, that she could smell his cologne in the air behind her. Before she could stop herself she was hearing her footsteps and feeling the sensation of her head being pulled back and back into the bumper.
BAM bam BAM bam BAM bam BAM bam BAM bam BAM bam. By the time she had exploded off the trail and into the poorly kept parking lot she had completely forgotten what she was doing.
Lauren dropped her hands on her knees and panted heavily. It was Todd who threw his hands around her waist and held her steady. Lauren surprised herself by screaming and slapping at him before Todd could get her to come out of her stupor. Sobbing, she fell into his chest and bawled. She started crying about the day and then it was the day before and then the year and then her entire marriage and then it was the time her youngest daughter came home from her dad’s early and accused her of always being drunk and looking at her disgustedly. Then it was the divorce and the time she let their older daughter wear lipstick and her ex husband had smacked her in front of them and announced that Lauren was not in fact, the deciding parent on the rules in the house.
It was a very long time before Lauren was done crying. Her face hurt dully in the area that had been so intimate with the bumper, snot covered her cheeks and mouth from the futile wiping it with her sleeves. Her good eye was now also swollen and she could barely see through it now. She fell to her knees and then collapsed the rest of the way to the ground so that getting up was difficult because of how stiff she was now from the odd position. Lauren hobbled with Todd holding her upright to his truck. He went ahead and lifted her up into the seat and helped her buckle. Lauren was too tired to swat his hand away and do it herself. She just relaxed her body back in the seat and let herself try to doze.
They hit the dirt road leading to Eric’s house which woke her up again. She could see more out of her good eye and finally flipped the visor down and braced herself for the reflection she had been avoiding.
Half of her face was a mix of purple and blue, someone had said something about her cheekbone on the right being fractured a little, hey right eyebrow was not only swollen but split in the corner and a small stitch held it. Her right eye was a mix of colors and swollen shut, bruises ran down her jawline and she could see why Dr. Livingston had recommended admitting her to the hospital, Lauren herself might’ve considered it if she hadn't been terrified it would’ve made it easier for Daniel to find her and kill her. Lauren fingered her hair that was cut close to her head and tried to smooth some of the longer strands that had indeed started to poke out at different directions. The left side of her face red and blotchy from crying and it occurred to Lauren that she looked like a very fat bloated version of herself and for some reason it struck her as hysterical and she began to laugh until her stomach hurt and she was doubled over howling with laughter. Todd glanced at her and then the road, flipping back and forth between the road and Lauren. Lauren who had gone from a deep sadness to a manic laughter within a short period of time.
By the time they pulled up to Eric’s, Lauren was still laughing but had calmed a little. Todd patted her thigh and told her to stay put. To go warn Eric she presumed. When he came back he carried her from the car to the bed and Eric stood waiting with pills and water and more toast. Lauren did some concentrated breathing until she could swallow them without choking. The pills seemed to kick in immediately. Her face numbed much more than the ibuprofen had managed earlier. As her mind started to fade in and out Eric told her he had purchased her a new phone and had put her old numbers into her new phone in town and tossed the old phone.
A week later Lauren returned from town at the hearing where Daniel was served with a permanent Order Of Protection good for a year. While her face was still pretty fucked up, she was able to see out of both eyes now. The judge had seen her face and granted the order. Daniel had been arrested and would be held for awhile but she had stayed with Eric for a few more days so he could keep an eye on her mental state. Lauren was having trouble returning to her home, she had been placed on a sort of leave at work, Lauren was unsure if they could legally do that after a domestic assault but she wasn’t in the mindset to argue so she just gave up.
“You think you’re safe to go home tomorrow? “ Eric asked Lauren as they set up a fire outside.
“I think so. I don’t know if I really want to stay there anymore.” Lauren admitted. She stacked some more wood off to the side so they wouldn’t have to get back up as often.
“I have a friend who owns some cabins in the woods, he rents them out. There’s 12 or so I think, anyway he recently lost his caretaker and has been looking for someone who can stay up there year round and clean the cabins and handle the rentals. It pays well, obviously you have your own cabin to live in.” Eric passed her a joint that Lauren accepted.
“I’ll think about it.” Lauren said before breathing in and relaxing back into her camping chair and drifting away.
Lauren finished setting the table with her son, Greyson. Her daughters Cora and Audrey, were supposed to be here soon. Liam, Greyson’s 5 month old wailed from the living room and Lauren waved at Greyson to let her go tend to him. Lauren picked up the wailing baby and put her nose on top of his head, remembering the newborn smell. Her youngest was Audrey and she was 23. Liam settled as soon as he was picked up. Lauren thought of how much she was going to miss her grandkids. She lifted him up so she could blow on his baby tummy and he squealed with delight.
“I think the girls are pulling in now.” Greyson said coming in with a bottle. Liam caught sight of Daddy and his bottle and flailed toward them. Lauren handed her grandson to her own son and kissed his forehead.
“I am so proud of you. I don’t think I know any single dads who have their kids full time.” Lauren brushed Greysons hair from his forehead and smiled.
The girls came in, Audrey carrying Cora’s 3 year old son and then Cora behind her dragging an 8 year old girl whose eyes were locked on a tablet screen.
“Diana Renee, turn it off for a few minutes and walk. Jesus. You’re going to trip, say hi to grandma.” Cora said in a surly tone looking exhausted. Her face looked rounder and Lauren had a feeling Cora was pregnant again. She had the look and Lauren felt a pang that she wasn’t going to be around this time, and that she had already missed quite a bit of time. It hadn’t taken any of the kids long to catch onto Daniel being controlling and possessive and even though Lauren had argued for her kids being over every Sunday the children on their own had slowly found excuses to quit coming around the house.Not that Audrey had needed much push. For whatever reason Audrey and Lauren had never seen eye to eye. Lauren blamed her father but it was more than that too, a drive to be independent. Diana and Clayton hugged Lauren fiercely and she sat on the floor with them crawling on her while they told her anything interesting they could think of. The bruises on Lauren’s face had faded quite a bit but the kids kept looking at them without saying anything, biting their lips. Lauren assumed Cora had instructed them not to ask. Lauren had purposely waited to bring her kids over to make her announcement until her face looked better and wouldn’t scare anyone. After a while the kids ran out into the backyard to play.
“So is he really gone?” Audrey asked as the sliding door closed. Lauren sighed pretending not to notice the tone in her voice.
“Yes. He was arrested. The pictures I had taken at the doctor’s office helped. I know you guys weren’t impressed he was here as long as he was but I was working on it. “ That of course was a lie. She had snuck off to the doctors after he had beaten her and had it documented so that they would have a suspect if he killed her but the kids didn’t need to know that. At least this way they seemed to retain a little respect for their flakey mom who brought the evil villain into their lives.
“I’m just glad you’re safe mom. We were worried. Especially after you called me that night.” Cora said rocking Liam who was starting to doze off after his bottle.
“That’s why I called you guys over actually. After that happened I did some thinking. It’s just me in this big house and after everything that happened I decided to sell the house and move. I took a job the next state over up in the mountains. I’m a caretaker for cabins that get rented out to hunters and families, I’ll be living there.” Lauren smiled and started passing a brochure for the company and the area to each of her children.
“What the fuck mom? You can’t move, or at the very least you can’t sell the house. We grew up here.” Audrey said loudly, tears forming already. Lauren remembered the time her friends had all gone out for a girls weekend and Greyson had spiked a fever and Lauren had to stay home to take care of him, how suffocating it had felt to be their mother and have no life of her own. But the kids were in their twenties now, not little. They didn’t need her the same way.
“Eventually Daniel will be released and I would like to be gone when he is. I would like to live somewhere that I can make new, happier memories. You guys don’t need me as much and I’m only an hour away. I can still take grand kids when you need me and I’m not so far that I can’t come over for lunch. Plus I can offer you guys a pretty good discount in the off season. Imagine Christmas in the mountains and everyone has their own cabin to stay in instead of arguing over a bedroom.” Lauren said, hoping no one would note that it had been a very long time since anyone had spent the night here and they’d never really fought over space.
“I think it’s a good idea mom. We’ll miss the house but you’re right.” Cora said glaring at her sister. “You deserve to move forward.”
“I can help you move up there. Are you taking your furniture or is the furniture provided already? Is it safe up there? Who will come check on you? I don’t want something to happen to you and you’re stranded out there for days with no help. “ Greyson asked, looking concerned.
“I’m not sure, we can set up a system so you know I’m ok.” Lauren said pleased with her son’s concern. “As far as furniture, you guys can pick anything you want, I’m selling the rest. I’ll keep some of the dishes and my baking stuff. Plus the photograph albums, I’ll get rid of everything else.”
“Does Dad know?” Autumn asked accusingly.
“I haven’t told him, it’s really not any of his business. Nothing in this house belongs to him and his name hasn’t been on the house in at least 15 years.”
“This is our house too.” Audrey argued
“No it really isn’t anymore. You haven’t lived here in at least 5 years.”
“Audrey, chill, it’s not that big of a deal.” Cora warned. Lauren began to feel she was missing something.
“Well, you could rent it out to someone instead of getting rid of it. You could always use the extra income.” Audrey argued, looking around at everyone.
“I’d make a lot more money selling the house than I would renting it out. If there were a repair to be made I don’t want to be responsible. I’m too old to deal with all of that.” Lauren waved her hand around the house gesturing at the idea of all the work there would need to be done. “Besides someone has already made an offer, I’m fairly certain I’m going to accept it.”
“You can’t do that!”
“Yes, she can. Knock it off. She doesn’t want to live here all alone.” Greyson retorted.
The 3 of them argued together at each other and Lauren sank back into her recliner helplessly. A thought occurred to her.
“Audrey are you angry you’re losing a piece of your childhood or a piece of your inheritance?” Lauren asked icily. Audrey’s face turned red and Cora looked at the window desperate not to make eye contact. Greyson grabbed Liam and started fussing over him.”Ah. I see, and you all 3 have discussed it.”
“No, not exactly like that. Dad had a scare 2 years ago and he was faced with being put in a home for awhile. We didn’t know how he was going to pay for it, we talked about selling his house and that was sort of how it came up, renting instead of selling I mean.” Greyson muttered.
“Not to keep it until he died so the money or the house went to us, but to protect him. We naturally discussed you as well and different scenarios. Then when we started to really worry Daniel was going to kill you, we were worried about him taking possession of the house and everything in it.” Cora explained a little more. “Obviously all THREE of us want you to do what makes you feel the happiest and safest.”
Audrey stared at the wall.
“I have a lot of happy memories here of all 3 of you. I brought you all home from the hospital through that door. I nursed you all back to health when you were sick and sang you lullabies in this room. I listened to you talk about your days in the kitchen, and when your dad moved out we all sat in my room with the big TV and watched movies all day because he wasn’t here to tell us it was wrong. I potty trained you all in the bathrooms here. I taught you to walk and speak here.” Lauren wiped at her eyes remembering them running through. “But over there in that corner was where your dad smacked me because I told Cora she could wear lipstick. And I was standing on the stairs when he came out of the bedroom with his suitcase in hand, telling me he was leaving. It was in the kitchen where I got the call that my mother died. That was the door frame Daniel's son leaned against as he held me up while Daniel pummeled my midsection until I decided that I didn’t want him to move out after all. I just want to start over. I’m allowed to do that. I gave my entire life to raise you guys and no one worked harder than me to keep us afloat. My time is now and I’m taking it. “
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2024.05.07 02:50 jonfinazzo UFC St Louis: Lewis v. Nascimento - A Breakdown by The Finz

TAPOLOGY RECORD: 67-47
LAST WEEK'S PICKS: 10-3
LAST WEEK'S BETS: -4.5U
PRELIMS
FlyW W Bout: JJ Aldrich v. Veronica Hardy
Records: 13-6 v. 8-4-1
Last 5 Fights: WWLLW v. WWLWL
PICK: JJ Aldrich by Unanimous Decision
WW Bout: Jared Gooden v. Kevin Jousset
Records: 23-9 v. 10-2
Last 5 Fights: WLWWL v. WWWWW
PICK: Kevin Jousset by RD3 KO
WW Bout: Jake Hadley v. Charles Johnson
Records: 10-2 v. 14-6
Last 5 Fights: LWWLW v. WLLLW
PICK: Jake Hadley By RD1 KO
WW Bout: Trey Waters v. Billy Goff
Records: 8-1 v. 9-2
Last 5 Fights: WWLWW v. WWWWW
PICK: Trey Waters by RD2 KO
SW Bout: Tabitha Ricci v. Tecia Torres
Records: 9-2 v. 13-6
Last 5 Fights: LWWWW v. LWWWL
PICK: Tabatha Ricci by Split Decision
LW Bout: Terrance McKinney v. Esteban Ribovics
Records: 15-6 v. 12-1
Last 5 Fights: WWLLW v. WLWWW
PICK: Terrence McKinney by RD1 Submission
LW Bout: Chase Hooper v. Viacheslav Borschev
Records: 13-3-1 v. 7-3-1
Last 5 Fights: WWLWL v. DWLLW
PICK: Viacheslav Borschev by RD2 KO
MAIN CARD
HW Bout: Waldo Cortes-Acosta v. Robellis Despaigne
Records: 11-1 v. 5-0
Last 5 Fights: WWLWW v. WWWWW
PICK: Robelis Despaigne by RD1 KO
FeatherW Bout: Alex Caceres v. Sean Woodson
Records: 21-14 v. 11-1-1
Last 5 Fights: LWWLW v. WWDWW
PICK: Sean Woodson by Unanimous Decision
LW Bout: Diego Ferreira vs. Mateusz Rebecki
Records: 18-5 v. 19-1
Last 5 Fights: WLLLW v. WWWWW
PICK: Mateusz Rebecki by Unanimous Decision
LHW Bout: Alonzo Menifield v. Carlos Ulberg
Records: 15-3-1 v. 9-1
Last 5 Fights: WWDWW v. WWWWW
PICK: Carlos Ulberg by RD3 KO
WW Bout: Joaquin Buckley v. Nursulton Ruziboev
Records: 18-6 v. 34-8-2
Last 5 Fights: WWWLL v. WWWWW
PICK: Nursulton Ruziboev by RD2 Submission
HW Bout: Derrick Lewis v. Rodrigo Nascimento
Records: 27-12 v. 11-1 (1 NC)
Last 5 Fights: LWLLL v. WWW(NC)L
PICK: Derrick Lewis by RD3 KO
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2024.05.07 01:43 i-heart-arcades 9U Rep hitting tips to drive/elevate the ball

Hey guys, need some tips. My kid last year was top 3 in avg and towards the end of the year was hitting the ball really hard. However he has the tendency to chop the ball and hit the ball on top causing for a lot of ground balls. Was hoping that would change this year especially how he ended off last year. However seems to have reverted back to hitting a lot of ground balls. I feel like his swing is too early at times and hits the ball when his arms are extended causing to lose a lot of power. Hard to pinpoint what it is.. any ideas/tips that I can try. I’ve played baseball my entire life, sucks that I just can’t seem to fix it given that I’m also a power hitter. Almost feel like a failure :(
My realistic goal is simply for him to elevate the ball 50% of the time if possible. Kinda lost here.
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2024.05.06 19:19 SanYinJiao Aswang. A Filipino Scary Story

“Brah, I’m glad that shift was over. ‘Tang ina can’t believe we gotta head back in 12 hours. Can’t take anymore night shifts. It’s killing me.”
“Migs brah, relax. It’s hardly the night shift.”
“ ‘pre, it’s midnight.”
“Yo, be glad we get to go home. Marcy, Ting, Lim, those poor fucks just clocked in.” Anthony glanced over at the whiteboard with a handwritten menu:
Meal A
Bisteak and Rice
Meal B
Pansit Canton with hot dogs
Meal C
Menudo Rice + 1 Lumpia
Special
Beef Pares (Beef Stew)
“Yo, so what you having, my turn to buy.”
“Yah, it’s always your turn to buy when we end up at a cheap diner like this.”
“Ok, you get your own..”
“Joke lang ‘pre, relax. I’ll have the Special. Sorry, been a long shift.”
“Manong, dalawang Special ho.” two specials please.
The old man behind the carinderia finished ringing up the customer that was ahead of Miguel and Anthony. Another shift worker, a woman in scrubs heading home from a long shift at the hospital.
The old man walked over to the back wall, grabbed two plates two bowls and began filling in the order for two specials which consisted of a plate of white rice and a bowl of oily pares (beef stew, street vendor style).
Miguel and Anthony frequented Robinson’s almost every night shift. It was a bare bones type of carinderia with green tile walls andSan Miguel Beer poster ads. One wall had a large corner to corner mirror that made the place look bigger than what it actually was. The tables were cheap foldable picnic tables draped with thick see-through plastic. The front windows were ceiling to floor like most of the restaurants on the strip except for some reason, they were tinted. Food was also cheap but portions were big.
Taste was another story. To the pair of them, the food tasted alright. There were definitely other options in the vicinity. A lot of restaurants and diners in the area stayed open late to feed the influx of commuting shift workers in the neighborhood. Some even stayed open 24 hours to capitalize on the breakfast crowd coming in from a graveyard shift.
Miguel and Anthony certainly weren’t lacking in options, but something about the food kept them coming back. There was a certain flavour to the ulam which oddly enough, energized them a little bit. They had the feeling of life returning to their tired over worked bodies. Over the months, both of them had certainly tried checking out the other carinderias, but they never had the sense of satiety that they would get from Robinson’s. Satiety was the word they could best describe their end of meal feeling. It wasn’t a satisfying meal, but it did leave a particular taste at the end. The kind that makes you want more regardless of how full up you felt.
They couldn’t quite put their finger on what that flavour in the food was; that strange but tasty flavour. Some of the dishes that Manong served tasted plain, even bland but with a hint of that… something. It was strongest whenever Manong had a special for the day. His specials were random and there was no way of knowing when he’d have a special dish prepared. You just had to be there at the right time.
For tired shift workers like Miguel and Anthony, they never really put too much thought into why they liked the food. They just did, but at the same time they didn’t. And like most people in their situation, they just decided to brush it off as routine, habit, perhaps a familiarity of the homeland.
Manong, who served them was not Robinson. No one knew who Robinson was. Just like every other store on the strip named Aleng Rosa, Marites Bakery, Tita Lidia’s Panderia. Rosa, Marites, Lidia, Robinson, all could have just been names pulled out of a hat and whoever worked at the establishments didn’t think too much of the history of the store names or who they were. To everyone on the strip, work was work, and a business was a business.
Manong was just Manong. He was an old sinewy man with a lazy eye and white oily hair. Old as he looked he, moved like someone half his age. He would float between the front carinderia and the back kitchen like a silent wraith, often times carrying refills of food trays with ease.
“Brah, so did you hear about Marcia’s aunt. Tita Neng?” Miguel asked as they sat down at their table, positioned across from the television that played local Filipino news.
“Yah, dude, that’s rough,” Anthony replied as he drizzled spicy vinegar over his beef stew.
“Thank god their insured right?”
“Dude what’s wrong with you? That shit was fucked up! In broad daylight too. Like great they can afford the hospital, but she didn’t have to be in that situation you know? It’s not like she got hit by a car or nothing. Dude went savage on her, for no reason!”
“Yah…” Anthony reflected. “That was fucked up.”
“Things are getting bad. I mean used to be hard just getting around at night. Who know’s who you’ll run into. But tang ina man, these fuckers attacking us during the day now. And for what fucking reason?” Miguel began to chomp down on his food a little bit faster now.
“They hated us from before pare. But back then they ignored us. Shit talk here, shit talk there, but that’s all it was, shit talk. They left us alone. We kept to our side of the line. But now they full on hate us! They blaming us for takin jobs, bringing the fucking virus. Dude doesn’t matter if you’re Chinese, Viet, Filipino. We all look the same to them. Fuck this world bro.” Anthony felt himself getting worked up. He realized if he kept going like this, it would be hard for him to sleep later.
He decided to steer the conversation back to Tita Neng and Marcia. No point in getting worked up so late. “So how’s Marcia anyway? She ok?”
“Yah, she’s with Tita Neng. She’ll be there a while till Neng’s out. Probably be a few days to a week, seeing how that asshole got her.”
“Wow, a week, how’d she score a whole week off?”
“I dunno brah, but company told her take as much time as she needed to take care of her aunt. I never asked though if it was paid. Who knows. You know if this shit never made the news, they probably wouldn’t have given any time off at all you know. These fuckers won’t give a damn until all of the sudden there’s a camera on them.”
Anthony choked a little bit. “Fuck that’s true. They only care if people got eyes on them. Imagine, if this news didn’t go public, they probably would’ve wiped their hands and said not their problem.”
Miguel grabbed the vinegar from Anthony’s side of the table and started adding more to his broth. He was getting a little heated up as well but wasn’t sure if it was the topic of conversation or the food giving him a second wind.
“Brah, the pares is good today,” he mumbled.
Anthony nodded in agreement, “mmhmm.”
“There’s a donation going on if you wanna contribute. Again we don’t know if Marcia’s getting time off with pay, but everyone’s just assuming she isn’t. Hard to ask with her being in her state, taking care of Neng at the hospital. So we just gonna collect some stuff, food, cash, you know. Help with the rent and all.”
Anthony nodded as he looked up at the television. It was a repeat news story of Tita Neng’s encounter.
“…Melinda Torres, a 58 year old, Filipino shift worker who was assaulted while walking home in the morning is now recovering at St. Joseph’s hospital. Police have surveilled CCTV footage of the incident Police Investigators have identified the attacker as Anthony King, 42, who is now facing charges of a hate crime on top of assault and battery. Anthony King is still at large and police are urging anyone with information of his whereabouts to contact them or CRIMESTOPPERS…”
“Fucked up,” Miguel says as he turned over to yell at Manong, “be careful when you go out. You never know what these fucks will do these days. They’re just hating on all of us, but what’s worse is they hitting the old ones like you, and Tita Neng over there.”
Manong just stared at the tv, with the same blank look he had every night, and all day for all they knew. He stood there silently, stoically with his one lazy eye unblinking, unphased by either the news report or Miguel’s sudden attempt at conversing with him.
Miguel meanwhile, stared at him for a few seconds, then slowly turned back to his food. Anthony replied, “you’d think he’d be a bit concerned for himself eh. I mean, even though he’s got kababayan (countrymen)all around here, who knows who’s walking down these streets these days.”
“Brah, I don’t think he leaves this place,” Miguel chuckled.
“Yah I guess you’re right.”
“Ingatan mo ang saril nyo”. (watch out for yourelves)The both of them suddenly heard from behind the counter. The both of them turned to look back, but Manong just stood there in the same position as always. Sometimes he was watching TV, sometimes he was just sitting down staring at the wall, and sometimes, he was at the back, disappeared behind the kitchen, doing what the both of them thought people did behind the kitchen. Cook, chop, clean, or maybe in Manong’s case, just a whole lot more staring into nowhere.
“You know, I don’t think I ever heard him talk,” Anthony said.
“Nah, don’t think so brah.”
After a few seconds, he turned back around over to their food and began eating again.
“Yo Ton,” Miguel whispered, “we’ve been coming here for months now, I haven’t seen anyone else work here except old Manong over there.”
“Yah same, I think he run’s this place all on his own”.
“You mean he does the cooking, cleaning, cash, everything? Nah he’s gotta have some help.”
Anthony thought back and tried to recall how the other businesses in the area operated. There were typically two people at least at every store. Even if on a certain hour you’d see one person at cash, or one person at a desk, there would always be another one out back, or out somewhere doing errands. Running a business, no matter how small on the strip was never a solo operation.
It was possible Anthony thought but moving inventory, getting supplies, cleaning the shops, all required some help. And as tight knit as the community was, there was only ever so much favors one could pull from the neighbors before they start declining.
He thought back to when he came to Robinson’s during the day and tried to remember if there was anyone else running the shop or if there was help. Him and Miguel usually just came there after their night shifts, but he recalled swinging by a few days on the weekends on his own when he didn’t feel like cooking, or he felt he needed something quick and cheap to eat. He couldn’t remember at all if old Manong had a helper.
Miguel broke his chain of thought, “You know I heard he was an ex merc from the Marcos era. Body guard or some shit.”
“Where’d you hear that?” Anthony snickered. “You believe all the tsismis huh?”
“Nah man, well, yah sure, tsismis is tsismis, but you know how rumors go? If it’s the same story, it’s gotta be true. And everyone sayin’, Manong over there is an ex merc.
Anthony chuckled as he spooned the last bits of sabaw (sauce)over his rice, “Dude, your logic”
“Yo just look at him. Stiff as a board, always looking silent and deadly. You see the dude ever slouch or anything? My titos and shit were all in the army, and you know, posture, it stays with you.”
“Even an ex soldier can’t do things alone man, specially at his age.”
“Huh what?” Miguel retorted with a puzzled look. “Oh shit yah, ok hear me out. He’s probably like super strong and shit. Ex merc you know, probably seen stuff. Specially back in those days you know. Fucked up shit. Figures why he’d do things on his own. Probably can’t trust no body. Look at that lazy eye of his too. Probably got stabbed or shot. Tang ina’s astig (badass)bro.”
“Dude, you even know what you’re talking about? Like Marcos era? You know how long ago that was? Manong over there’s probably gotta be over a 100 years old to survive the Marcos era.”
“Well”, Miguel shouted, but suddenly remembered where he was and who he was talking about, and where that person was, “Well,” he hushed down “he probably is a 100. Look at him.”
“Migs, I am looking at him, and there’s no way. No way pare. I mean yah, he looks old, but dude moves like he’s 20. He can’t be that old.”
The door of Robinson’s suddenly opened and the two of them stopped their conversation to have a glance. Normally there’s always the quick glance and stare when someone walks through, especially at that time of the night. It would be a mix of curiosity and hopefulness. Curious to see who would be walking in so late at night, and hopeful to see if it was someone they knew so they could start a late night gossip session. But at this particular moment, the stares gave way to a rapid hint of caution which triggered the two of them to immediately look away and back down on their food.
He was a tall, hefty man with big arms, thick thighs, and a big thick belly. He was wide and just plain big. Not the slow and soft kind of big, but the sort of big that can do damage, like a truck or a wild boar. He even grunted a bit as he surveyed the restaurant, eyes meandering Robinson’s with a cynical gaze.
“I thought I smelled something off,” the stranger snorted as he slowly walked, more like staggered, to the counter of Robinson’s. It wasn’t the drunk or high kind of staggering but more so of a bravado step with an air of arrogance behind the walk leaving behind a strange cloud of hate.
“Wha d’you gotta eat in this kinda place pops? I smell fish heads, you fryin’ fish back there?”
Anthony and Miguel gave each other a cautionary glance. They both knew Manong never served seafood, and they both knew what the stranger meant when he referred to the smell of fish heads.
Manong glanced at the customer, with his usual look; unchanging, stoic, emotionless. He took both of his hands and fanned them outward towards the counter of food laid out: the beef stew, fried noodles, and beef steaks.
“God damn old man. Food inspector come by and check your place out yet? What is this shit? You leave this out in the open like this? Probably not even warm?”
He stared at Manong as he mouthed the word warm, and while doing so he took his index finger and dipped it into the pan of beef stew, stirred it around for
1…2…3… seconds, lifted it off and stuck his finger in his mouth.
“It’s warm I’ll give you that much, but it’s fuckin disgusting. What the hell is this pig slop” He spat out onto the floor. Manong just continued to stare.
Miguel turned around when he heard the stranger spit on the floor. Something started to boil up inside of him. Anthony sensed this and grabbed him by the forearm, “psst, huy, relax lang pare”
Miguel turned slowly back to his place, torn and feeling helpless. He knew the stranger with the arrogant walk was up to no good. Miguel just kept getting flashbacks in his head about the news report and his conversations with Marcia about Tita Neng in the hospital. What panicked him most among all the ideas and scenarios running through his head was, this was not Anthony King, the suspect that had attacked Tita Neng in the streets. This was someone else completely. The feeling of being trapped and helpless choked him.
In a hushed tone, as if he could read his thoughts, Anthony whispered, “I know brah, but let’s wait. Relax lang. Maybe he’ll leave. Maybe he’s just all talk. Relax, chill”
The stranger sensed movement behind him, looked back with a smirk, then turned his gaze back at Manong. With the same finger that he just licked the stew from, he went and poked at the fried noodles, and began to stir just like he did with the beef stew.
Anthony was still holding on to Miguel’s forearm and as he watched the stranger stir at the noodles, his grip got harder, and sweat started to pour down his forehead.
“Y’all come here, serve this shit,” the stranger talked as he continued to stir the noodles with his finger. “And don’t even have the decency to greet your customers. Where’s the service old man?” His finger pushed deeper into the pan of fried noodles, submerging his knuckles, his palms, then his whole fist.
“You just gonna stare at me old guy? Or you gonna serve me? Or do I gotta serve myself?”
Manong broke his stare, calmly turned around, and grabbed a plate from the back counter, hardly un-phased by the stranger’s words and actions. He turned back around with the plate, grabbed a serving spoon and began to spoon the plate with fried noodles.
The stranger laughed, the arrogance and the cloud of hate that trailed behind began to rise, and fill the room with it’s invisible aura. He looked left, right, looked back at Miguel and Anthony sitting at the table. At this point Miguel had turned around to watch the stranger again so the two of them were now transfixed at the scene.
The stranger smile turned sharply into a grimace. He spun back to face Manong, lifted his hand out of the plate of noodles, and flicked them at Manong’s face. “FUCK. You can’t get the hint can you? I don’t know how you got into this country. But you know what old man?”
The stranger turns around to face Anthony and Miguel, “And this goes for you two pricks as well”
The stranger turns back to face Manong, “stop serving this slop and go back to your fucking country, you mother, fuckin…”.
And with that last word the stranger grabbed hold of another fist full of noodles and smeared them over Manong’s face. 1 second…. 2 second… 3 seconds… 4… seconds… he continued to smear. He pulled back his hand, turned around gave a grim smile to Anthony and Miguel, who were now standing up. Faces full of shock, anger, fear, desperation, anxiety, sadness, a mixture of emotions that kept them frozen in place. Fight or flight, both actions were being cancelled out with too many thoughts, too many countering emotions, too many what if scenarios floating in their heads.
The stranger glared at Anthony and Miguel, “This is what we do to your kind. You’re not welcome here no more,”
The stranger turns around and begins to punch Manong in the face with the same noodle smeared hands.
That was all Miguel could handle. Anthony stood there still in shock, but Miguel rushed over to the stranger and tried to wrestle his punching arm back to stop the barrage of fists landing on Manong’s face.
“Get the fuck off him you prick. Why you gotta go and hit an old man for you fucking piece of shit!”
The stranger had size over Miguel, though Miguel was able to hold back his punches, his other arm was free and strong enough to elbow Miguel hard in the ribs which made Miguel immediately let go.
“You all are everywhere, like god damn roaches”, he spat at Miguel.
Miguel furious took a deep breath and launched himself at the stranger. With no real experience in fighting, all he could do was grab hold of the stranger with a bear hug to the waist, which was unfortunate for Miguel as with the stranger’s reach, he was able to pummel him with both arms. Elbows to the back. Punches to the ribs.
Miguel held on tighter, frustrated, in pain, tears rolling down his face while the stranger continued his barrage of elbows, punches, and insults. Anthony stood frozen mouth gaped, shock and fear rooting him in place.
“You fucking pieces of shit, take every god damn street and store in our country, take every fuckin’ business, and all you do is ruin things for everyone.” The stranger continued to beat down, Miguel’s strength fading, his grip on the stranger loosening as he took multiple punches to the ribs and back.
“You come here with your shit food, your shit way of life, ruining MY country. First you bring drugs, then you bring the fucking virus, then you take all our fuckin money living off our welfare system. I should call immigration on the lot of you. You got papers boy?”
Miguel dropped to his knees. Hurt both physically from barrage of punches and elbows and hurt emotionally from the insults and the slurs that were flung with every hit.
“If you won’t go back to where you came from, I’ll kick you out myself” the stranger smiled. Be balled his hand into one giant fist and raised it high over his head, while his other hand grabbed hold of Miguel’s hair, holding him steady for the final blow.
Both Miguel and Anthony saw the fist raised. They both knew what was coming, but neither could stop it. Miguel was too weak from the beating and Anthony was still too frozen with fear to move. They both thought of Tita Neng in the hospital. Miguel was next. He’ll be in the hospital at St. Josephs with her, that is if he survives the final blow.
At this point, Miguel began to experience what most would describe as the slow motion of the last moments of life. Or at least what he thought would be his last moments. They were filled with dread and fear. He could feel the hatred pouring out of the stranger. How could anyone have so much anger and hatred towards anybody?
The aura of hate filled the room and engulfed him entirely. He felt as if his entire being was becoming smothered and about to be wiped out. He could feel all that hateful energy wrap him like a thick heavy net and the anger collecting into a single point in the stranger’s fist. All that hate bottled up in one fist would be crashing down on him soon. Miguel passed out from exhaustion. Anthony fainted from shock.
And then a darker energy entered the room. Originally it was just the stranger and his anger filling up the space. But then, something else emerged. It was darker than black. It was primal. It was old. And It, was hungry.

Miguel and Anthony woke up both groggy un aware of what was going on. It took a few seconds for them to regain their senses. They both assumed they had blacked out, but how?
They sit back. Miguel’s ribs and body ached. Luckily the stranger had only been hitting him in the back and ribs, and not the face.
Wait a minute he thought. The stranger must have hit him in the head, otherwise why would he have blacked out?
But then it occurred to him that his head wasn’t hurting. He did have a headache, but not from a punch to the head. More of a groggy, hung over feeling headache, the type one gets from sleeping in a strange position and getting a stiff neck.
Anthony opens his eyes, how did I black out he thought? Did the stranger go after me after finishing off Miguel? He felt no pain in his body, nothing hurt but his head, but it was the same groggy stiff necked pain that Miguel was experiencing.
“Bro, what the fuck happend” Miguel asked
“Pare I don’t know, pare. Fuck. My head hurts.”
“All I remember was I thought I was done for. I remember thinking that I was either going to see Tita Neng in the hospital or see my dad up in heaven.”
“Bro, I’m sorry I couldn’t step in, I tried, I mean, I wanted to, fuck I dont know I’m so sorry bro”
“It’s alright pare. Ok lang, we’re both ok, somewhat. I dunno. Dude where are we?”
They both looked around. There were green tiled walls with posters of San Miguel Beer, one wall with corner to corner mirror to make the place look bigger, foldable picnic tables draped with thick clear plastic, a TV playing local community news, this time playing the morning weather and traffic report. Hazy sunlight was shining through the tinted glass windows of the front of the restaurant. They were at Robinson’s.
Manong was in front of the kitchen counter with a mop and bucket cleaning the floor. His face, blank, stoic, emotionless. He swished the mop with strong, wide strokes, and when he rung the mop into the bucket, his sinewy arms tightened into coils of hard leather. For an old man, he moved like a teenager, albeit slow and methodical.
“Manong,” Miguel asked
“Ok lang kayo? Anong nangyari ka gabe? Where did that asshole go”
Silence.
Manong did one last swish of the mop into the bucket and wheeled them both back behind the counter and into the kitchen. Miguel and Anthony just looked at each other, confused, baffled, and stiff.
“Dude” Anthony grimaced “Like what the hell happened last night?”
“I don’t know, but I feel like shit right now. Do you think we should go to the police?”
Anthony sat in silence not knowing what to say or do. As he became more and more awake, the memories of the night before became more and more clear, but the gap between now and the moment the stranger was about to hit Miguel in the face was a huge black hole.
“Dude, what time is it?” Miguel asked.
Anthony looked at his phone, “6am”
“Alright, ok so we got 6 hours before clocking in to figure out what we’re going to do”
“Or figure out what happened last night bro”
The kitchen door swung open and Manong walked out with a big tray of food for the carinderia counter. Face emotionless as ever, not even showing signs of strain as he lifted the tray into the heating spot of the counter. After placing the tray in it’s slot, he turned around to the white board menu above the kitchen counter and began wiping the old menu out and replacing it with the days and evenings options.
Meal A
Bisteak and rice + 1 lumpia
Meal B
Pansit canton with beef slices
Meal C
Pork adobo and rice
Special
Lechon Kawali
Glossary of terms:
‘tang ina: short for putang ina. Mother Fucker.
‘pre: short for Pare. Colloquial term for Bro.
Brah: another term for Bro. Evolved from the word Brad.(Br-AH-d) or Brother.
Manong: A term reserved for an older male person. Typically males, family or strangers would be referred to as uncle or Tito. Manong is an older Tito.
submitted by SanYinJiao to creepypasta [link] [comments]


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