Lil freaky dares

Writer's Block? Befriend the Beast: Pro Tips to Turn Blockades into Bestsellers (With Prompts So Crazy They Might Work)

Ah, writer's block. That ever-present nemesis, the blank page's evil twin, the creativity-sucking gremlin that haunts every writer's dreams (or lack thereof). But what if I told you writer's block isn't your enemy, but a misunderstood ally? A twisted muse, a forced sabbatical from the mundane, a chance to shake things up and unleash your inner writing gremlin in the most productive way possible?
Befriending the Block:
Professional authors know the struggle is real. Here's what they say about turning blockades into stepping stones:

• Embrace the Pause: Jodi Picoult: "Writer's block is a sign that something isn't working. Step away, recharge, and come back with fresh eyes."
• Declutter Your Mind: Neil Gaiman: "Sometimes you have to let go of an idea to make space for a better one."
• Experiment, Even If It's Weird: Haruki Murakami: "Don't be afraid to try something strange. The most original ideas often come from unexpected places."

Now, let's get insane with prompts that will have your muse doing a double take:
1. Genre Blender: Combine two wildly different genres. Write a historical romance with zombies, a cyberpunk detective novel set in ancient Rome, or a space opera with a grumpy cat detective as the protagonist.
2. Alternate Reality: Imagine your story taking place in a world obsessed with something ridiculous. Think "everyone communicates only through emojis" or "unicorns are the primary mode of transportation."
3. Flash Forward, Way Forward: Skip to the very end of your story. Write the final scene, then work your way back, filling in the gaps with the most outrageous plot twists imaginable.
4. Dream Weaver: Describe a bizarre dream in excruciating detail. Then, analyze it like a cryptic message from your subconscious, using it as the foundation for your story.
5. Character Chaos: Write a scene where your characters are forced to switch bodies (think Freaky Friday, but with your characters). How does it change their perspectives? What hilarious misunderstandings ensue?
6. Found Object Frenzy: Grab the weirdest thing you can find (rusty spork, deflated balloon animal, taxidermied squirrel) and write a story centered around it. Bonus points for incorporating its bizarre history.
7. Unsolved Mystery: Choose a real-life unsolved mystery (Jack the Ripper, the Bermuda Triangle) and write a fictional account from the perspective of the perpetrator or a hidden witness.
8. Headline Hijinks: Rip a random headline from the news and turn it into the most outlandish story you can imagine. Aliens behind the stock market crash? Sentient self-driving cars waging war on pigeons? Go wild!
9. Animal Antics: Write your story entirely from the perspective of an animal character. A grumpy cat narrates a love triangle, a wise old owl dispenses philosophical advice, a hyperactive squirrel chronicles a daring heist.
10. Time Travel Tango: Send your characters on a time travel adventure with a twist. They can't change the past, but their actions have unforeseen consequences in the present. Think butterfly effect on steroids.
Remember, these prompts are just springboards. Let your imagination run wild, embrace the absurd, and don't be afraid to delve into the depths of your weirdness. You never know what hidden gem you might unearth from the rubble of writer's block. So, unleash your inner gremlin, write with abandon, and remember: sometimes, the best stories are born from the most unexpected places. Now get writing, you beautiful block-busting wordsmiths!

Hello reddit. I am in search of a cute lil freak to hang out with on the side. I get off on the sneakiness of our secret fling. Would prefer someone that is younger than me, is okay with my situationship, and will respect boundaries.
I would like to chat and do like receiving pics and vids. Ultimately I'd like to meet up and mess around when I can.
I do work a lot and that does sometimes get in the way, but I will definitely try my best to work something out.
I have a full time gig that makes me travel from time to time. I am tall, slim, Latino, and very easy going.
Look forward to hearing from some of you. ❤️

My personal songs chart in April 27, 2024

1. Wait - Maroon 5 {+2}
2. Push Ups - Drake {New}
3. Lady Killers II (Christoph Andersson Remix) - G-Eazy {+4}
4. I Don't Wanna Wait - David Guetta & OneRepublic {-3}
5. Mine - Bazzi {-1}
6. Too Sweet - Hozier {-4}
7. Tumblr Girls (feat. Christoph Andersson) - G-Eazy {-1}
8. Freaky Friday (feat. Chris Brown) - Lil Dicky {+4}
9. Hey, Soul Sister - Train {-4}
10. Odd Numbers - UmedaCypher {-1}
11. Someone New - Hozier {-1}
12. Pumped Up Kicks - Foster The People {New}
13. Outskirts - Sam Hunt {+1}
14. Loveit - PinocchioP {New}
15. (Not) A Devil - DECO*27 & PinocchioP {-4}
16. QUIT!! - HARDY {-3}
17. Fireflies - Owl City {+1}
18. Ladyfingers - Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass {New}
19. Famous Friends - Chris Young & Kane Brown {+10}
20. Mmhmm - BigXthaPlug {+1}
21. I Don't Want To See Tomorrow - Nat King Cole {+1}
22. Act Naturally - Buck Owens {New}
23. Take Me To Church - Hozier {-15}
24. i like the way you kiss me - Artemas {+7}
25. Brotherhood of Steel - Ramin Djawadi {New}
26. Drunk On A Plane - Dierks Bentley {-2}
27. Beer For My Horses (feat. Willie Nelson) - Toby Keith {-7}
28. Huntin’ Wabbitz - J. Cole {New}
29. obsessed - Olivia Rodrigo {New}
30. Man Made A Bar (feat. Eric Church) - Morgan Wallen {-5}
31. Play It Again - Luke Bryan {-14}
32. Who's Your Daddy? - Toby Keith {-17}
33. Fine By Me - Andy Grammer {-14}
34. Creatures in Heaven - Glass Animals {-4}
35. Nightcrawler (feat. Swae Lee & Chief Keef) - Travis Scott {-12}
36. My First Kiss (feat. Ke$ha) - 3OH!3 {-9}
37. Cruise - Florida Georgia Line {-11}
38. Eyes Closed - Imagine Dragons {-6}
39. Champagne Moments - Rick Ross {New}
40. Lovers In A Past Life (with Rag'n'Bone Man) - Calvin Harris {New}
41. One Foot - WALK THE MOON {-7}
42. Classic - MKTO {-1}
43. Red Solo Cup - Toby Keith {-15}
44. Ain't It Fun - Paramore {-6}
45. Take Her Home - Kenny Chesney {-2}
46. Fortnight (feat. Post Malone) - Taylor Swift {New}
47. 02.02.99 - That Mexican OT {-2}
48. I Wanna Talk About Me - Toby Keith {-8}
49. Beers On Me (feat. BRELAND & HARDY) - Dierks Bentley {-5}
50. Me, Myself & I - G-Eazy & Bebe Rexha {-14}

So let me get this straight. Ya'll want demigids twice your size to be your GFs?
First if all: Based Second: Nah bruv, you'd be their pet at best. Third: if you are into that, based.
But here me out, realistically speaking a normal human isn't exactly the optimal spouse for an over 3 meter tall hyper soldier. Just look at lorgar.
Yall be making fun of lil light pissing off big e, but then you ignore him being locked in a tower with her IN HELL.
He's not her BF, he's her property and realisticly speaking why would it be diffrent with the other SOs.
The only that wouldn't own their spouse would be Roberta Guilliman and only because it'd be friggin Yvraine.
TLDR people into femarchs are freaky and that's okay.... gonna be pointing finger and laughing tho.
Now if you excuse me, i need to draw Ferra Manus giving head.

I know this is mostly my rambling about this situation; but it broke my heart into a million pieces when Bryan Hearne discussed what he was put through during his time on Nickelodeon, but he endured it because he wanted to ‘get his family out of the hood.’
That Fear Factor thing with the peanut butter… that was a gross violation of his boundaries and disrespect of his basic human dignity. They could have had the adult actors and producers do the dares and have the kids pick what happens. I’m sure every kid loves seeing other kids get an adult’s goat. That would have been in the spirit of the ‘kids rule’ era movies and TV like Matilda.
As for the Lil Fetus sketches… they had animators. Why didn’t they animate something that LOOKS like an ultrasound image and have Bryan voice it? They could have used the same jokes and spared Bryan the suit that made him look naked.
It hurt to hear Bryan say that, because at one point I employed people who WERE the kids of economically disadvantaged communities. People like their teachers and school staff didn’t expect much out of these people and never bothered to help them gain a meaningful education. It was a vicious circle. So when Bryan kept saying he did it to get his family out of the hood… It’s safe to say nobody else ever presented or helped him find a viable path out of poverty.

Discovered about it yesterday, i do it all the time now and it relieves me so much. I can go back to eating and drinking whatever i want now life is good. It’s not uncomfortable and i might be a lil bit freaky but i find it awesome !

Good evening. I just got home from a fun day of a baby shower that turned into a cook out. Its been an action packed week with a rewarding weekend that I will NEVER forget, even if the lights only visited me one night but no graphs or imagery tonight. I have pondered the events of the last 10 days and as I look back, it was a dream come true. Not just seeing something I have always wanted to see in the AB, but meeting all of you, and sharing this experience. Building the foundations of a community here on Reddit where we can share, learn, discuss, and explore free from any restraint or encumbrance in an inclusive setting where there are only two rules. Respect one other along the lines of the golden rule, treat as you would like to be treated and no politics. Remember the sun gives light and warmth to all regardless of what party you are with or what church or place of worship you attend or dont attend. I will emulate that and I encourage you to as well.
With all of that being said, I took my own advice today, and I went about my day, kept my eyes on things, and had zero expectations. I wanted to see the lights tonight and I was with a group of people who would have loved to as well. It has not happened as of yet, and to be clear, while the chances are shrinking, but they are not dead, at least for those more northerly. I personally will not be staying up tonight, but would it surprise me if we had a brief stretch of more intense activity than we are seeing? Not at all, but at the same time we have to go back to the night of the X5.98 before any models had run. If you recall, I was concerned about the NW trajectory of the last CME owing to its location and LASCO coronagraphs, but I was swayed by the SWPC going G5 in their warning and the possibility of cannibalization. Gosh I wanted it to be true, but I just could not commit. I thought it would be more intense than it is but I never wavered in my uncertainty. Uncertainty can be a cop out, but truly I was uncertain and I tried to manage all of your expectations appropriately.
A spike or two cannot be ruled out and the Kp index forecast is elevated for the next several days, but I think we can all safely conclude that another Friday night is not in the cards here in the lower 48. Unfortunately alot of folks in Canada who would still be able to get a glimpse or two are dealing with wildfire smoke which not only makes viewing difficult, but makes breathing difficult. Here is hoping that gets better soon. If you decide to be a die hard tonight against the odds, I wish you luck, and you are not exactly crazy for trying, but the odds are long at this point. If there was a big CME in the pipe moving faster than the others, it would have likely been here by now but some fluctuation is expected at lower or even moderate levels for the next few days. All in all, I got some things right this week and I got some things wrong. The one thing I did not get wrong, is this stuff is difficult to predict, and the models struggled with timing and severity. I was impressed with DONKI Scorecard though, I think it is a heck of a tool. I love how it takes all of the models into consideration and will be consulting it always going forward. It was definitely the most accurate of the model systems in my view, but you may feel differently. This can get subjective and with so many readings from so many places, locations, levels, etc, its a data mess right now and I see the high end numbers quoted quite a bit but its important we wait for all of the data to be parsed and analyzed. I expect some revisions and we will see what it looks like when the smoke clears on this storm.
As far as any and all tools go, I will never hold them back from you. I am not here to gatekeep or play man behind the curtain. I have no degrees. I am a self proclaimed armchair analyst and while I take the moniker seriously and credibility is important to me as silly as that may sound, I want you to know that I am very much a student still. Several years ago, I was right where most of you are. My appetite for knowledge of all things has always been voracious and I have had various passions at times, but never one that I just had to share with somebody, anybody. My 9 year old loves this stuff, and I am working on my wife, but YOU are who shared my passion the most, and that is what it is all about to me. Sharing. Learning. Teaching. Growing. I feel good that I do not have to make any significant retractions or revisions and that I gave you the best advice I could and I am happy with the result. And you know what, even though there were no aurora overhead tonight at the get together I was at, it still ended up with the group marveling at the stars and objects in our sky, as we went through and identified each one and its characteristics. Saw a shooting star and starlink go by. My sister who lives in Tampa called me very excited and said that she saw a meteor overhead in the area around 830 EST. Like everyone, she is awed by beautiful and rare occurences, but is not what I would consider an enthusiast, but boy there sure was enthusiam in her voice when she called. I just smiled to myself, and thought about how grateful I am for how this all played out and I think we have set a pretty high bar here, but I will try my best to meet it for you each and every time. This sub is called SolarMax and that is our primary focus, but as my day 1's are aware, we get into alot more than just the sun. There are more spectacles yet to come this year, dare I say the chances exist for something just as special and just as rare, maybe more. Topic for another day.
I have just a few more housekeeping items to discuss and then I will be signing off for the night. I have alot to catch up on this week in my real job. I neglected it this past week with no regrets, but its time to pay the piper and get caught up. I do my best work back against the wall anyway and am no stranger to pressure. As a result though, I may not be as engaged or engaging, but I will keep you apprised. Whatever I know, you will know.
SHOULD I BE WORRIED?
No. Not just about the storm we had, but the next storm, or the mag field. I need to make something abundantly and unequivocally clear. We are in NO immediate danger, nor are we in danger in the forseeable future. We have new sunspots coming around and the growth curve on them may be ramping up. Again, I am excited. Its solar maximum. This is a natural process. Could a CE happen? NOAA just told you this weekend there is a 2 to 10% chance in the decades to come. You dont need me to tell you that its possible, but again, all manner of things are possible and COULD happen. You can't get yourself worked up about something that COULD happen, when there is no signs it is imminent. Look, there is some confusion about the mag field and its ramifications. Its a complicated topic, truly it is, but the concerns are not immediate. Our mag field has been weakening for over 150 years, yet here we are. You probably did not even know that, yet life has gone on still.
The other thing you need to take away from that is this other than its not an immediate concern you should suffer anxiety from, its a long term issue, just like climate, that is of course assuming that they are not sort of one in the same. If you are not losing sleep and fretting about our oceans literally trying to boil right now, then you are practicing some cognitive dissonance around the topic of existential dread. One fear is not greater than the other, and all fear is the enemy. We are just fine. We are safe. Our magnetic field does its job. It IS weakening, but its weakening slowly. Official estimates are at 5% per decade currently. That is not overnight. Its not next week. Its not even certain we should be concerned about it, there are two sides to the coin after all. For all of these reasons, you cannot get yourself worked up about it. Besides you know what else above all? Worrying your ass off about the world ending will not buy you a single minute more of time living your life and doing what you love with the people you love, so get busy living, or you'll stay busy dying from being eaten alive from stress and worry. Should you be prepared? Yes. Whether its a tornado, flood, EQ, war, hurricane, mega super duper extreme solar storm, its never a bad idea to have some supplies and most importantly a plan. This will calm you, and if you ever have to need it, youll be glad of it, and youll have something to anchor to when your anxiety and shock make it difficult to just get to the next moment. More than that, build a community, because in a really tough situation, a community gets through. Certainly some of you remember GoT. In the long night, the lone wolf dies but the pack survives. If you really are so worried about something so big and so totally out of your control, do that.
So people, take care of your mental health. If this stuff stresses you out, take a step back because it aint worth it. Can you imagine how silly the people on X who thought the world was ending this weekend feel right now? Most of them will never mention they were scared, or that they were panicking about nothing, they will never speak of it, and they will look for the next scare. I just hope they at least got to see the lights. Look, I will be real with you. When all of this started unfolding in earnest, and I knew the chances were there for a big storm, I posted my work in 2 places. Here and prepperintel. I met many of you from there. I posted it there because I respect the hell out of the suns power and I know that in the very very very rare event a CE or something of that nature unfolds, a few precious hours may mean everything. I am true to what I say. I do understand the risks, and I treat them appropriately, but I can only do so from a place of understanding and that takes time. Right now, what you NEED to know, is that we are safe, this was a great experience, the next sunspots may be more active, less active, the same as the departing regions, but there is a reason why the auroras have not dipped that far south in 20 years. So many things have to line up juuuust right for what we saw on Friday let alone a grid frying event. You would need a HUGE flare, and I do mean huge, no X5.98 or a twin peaked X1/M9 will suffice. Not only do you need a rediculously large flare, you need it to produce an earth directed CME, and while AR3664 seemingly did it at will, its not usually the case, but the times when its most likely to happen are during solar maximum. So many solar max have came and went and you never even knew it and you are still here on your tech.
I would like to think I know my stuff pretty well for an armchair expert, but I understand my limitations. There are people who are much more experienced, educated, and knowledgeable about the finer finer details and components of the space weather game that I am just barely beginning to grasp. Do you know that when I was first learning space weather that I used to get caught up in the same hype? I see that we had an X-Class flare, and Newsweek tells me that they can destroy powergrids, which is technically true, but damn if it doesnt leave out alot of nuance and fine details which are absolutely critical to understand in depth. So I get on Prepperintel and I make a post about it and I am ran off the damn sub because the people in there who knew more than I did knew it was nothing to be scared of. I was that person guys. If you felt that way this weekend, just know that I am you. But here we are, and now if I post something in there, those folks know its at least worth knowing about. Its a process. Its a complicated and nuanced topic, but its not inaccessible. I bet many of you had no idea that you could be a space weather observer like the folks at the alphabet agencies looking at the same data they do, but I hope you do now.
When I sat down to write this "small" update and goodnight, I did not expect to fill a page. I will tell you one thing about me. I have been called many many things in my life, but inarticulate is NOT one of them. I have more than a few video or YT live requests and maybe we get there eventually because I do think it will be cool and interactive. I may still cherish the written word but I am no dummy, I realize that is analog thinking in a digital world. However, here we are and I like the readers, because they are careful and considerate. They usually ave the attention span to get into complex subjects and are able to orchestrate exquisite theater of the mind.
This has been one of the most exciting and gratifying weeks of my life. I tried my best to keep up with the comments but I know I failed. Esp last night and today, I had to stop and smell the roses and its always family first in my world. Even if I had all day, I could not have kept up. These are human limitations of course, but I want you to know that I saw 99% of the comments, the posts, the messages, the pictures. I am deeply moved and I really appreciate everyone who took the time just to tell me their story, their experience, how this experience touched them, how they learned something new, how they werent scared anymore, who just appreciated the fact that Reddit now has a thriving dedicated solarmax community. I wish there was a way I could let you all know just exactly how much it all means, but these words will have to do. Thank you friends. We are only getting started. If you find yourself needing a fix though, check out the rest of the sub. Solarmax blew up this weekend, but we have been trying to get established for a bit and I say we, because it is not just me. Others have contributed, even when it was just a handful of people. I just can't say it enough, thank you thank you thank you. Every writer just wants someone to read their stuff. That is why they do it. If you can make a living at it, cool, but every writer started for free, and just wanted an audience, any audience, let alone one as awesome as you all.
And one final shoutout to Mrs AA for putting up with me absolutely glued to my phone, computer, and keyboard for the last 14 days and yes 14 days, because before AR3664 stole the show, lil ol AR3663 was trying so hard to make a name for itself, but just did not have the juice, but did depart with an X4.5 IIRC offhand. Solar max continues everyone, we got new sunspot groups to analyze, a few more mild impacts to come, and a ton of stuff to break down on the May 2024 Storms as well as the other topics I promised we would get into. We are only getting started and I look forward to sharing all of it with you.
For all of you who asked about whether you should chase your dream of astronomy or something space related, I have one final piece of advice this weekend. It does not matter if its space related, it just matters that you have a dream. If you have the ability and circumstance to chase or still chase your dream, you need to do it, whatever it is. The lucky(wise) people are not the ones who make millions on millions in a 80 hr work week where seeing their kids ball game is not even possible. The wise people are the ones who never work a day in their life because they love what they do and make a living that suits them and their family.
Good night everyone, and may you have clear skies.
AA

New Music Friday is the weekly thread dedicated to cataloging all the Album/EP releases that came out this week, including non-subreddit relevant releases. This is also a great place to discuss these albums, or bring to attention other albums released this week.

❓ "this seems intriguing after a cursory look"
⭐ "im interested in this for one reason or another"
❤️ "ive been waiting for weeks, months/i'm absolutely in love with this"

Dehd - Poetry
Label: Fat Possum
Genre: Indie Rock, Indie Pop, Indie Surf
❓ Amen Dunes - Death Jokes
Label: Sub Pop
Genre: Neo-Psychedelia, Art Rock
❤️ Iglooghost - Tidal Memory Exo
Label: LuckyMe
Genre: Deconstructed Club, UK Hip Hop, UK Bass, Grime, Drill and Bass
⭐ Arab Strap - I'm totally fine with it 👍 don't give a fuck anymore 👍
Label: Rock Action
Genre: Indietronica, Post-Punk, Synthpop
❓ How To Dress Well - I Am Toward You
Label: Sargent House
Genre: Art Pop, Noise Pop, Glitch Pop
Shannon and the Clams - The Moon is in the Wrong Place
Label: Easy Eye
Genre: Pop Soul, Pop Rock
Les Savy Fav - OUI, LSF
Label: Frenchkiss
Genre: Post-Punk Revival, Dance-Punk
⭐ Bossk - .4
Label: Deathwish
Genre: Post-Rock, Post-Metal
Milkswarm - Sodakink
Label: n/a
Genre: Post-Punk, Indie Rock
❓ Snow Strippers - Night Killaz Vol. 2 (EP)
Label: Surf Gang
Genre: Electroclash, Electropop
Rainbow Kitten Surprise - Love Hate Music Box
Label: Elektra
Genre: Indie Pop, Indie Rock
⭐ Sunnata - Chasing Shadows
Label: n/a
Genre: Atmospheric Sludge Metal, Post-Metal
Rated Eye - Rated Eye
Label: n/a
Genre: Noise Rock
⭐ Brutus VIII - Pure Gluttony
Label: n/a
Genre: Synth Punk, Art Pop
Amy O - Mirror, Reflect
Label: Winspear
Genre: Indie Pop
Orville Peck - Stampede: Vol. 1
Label: Warner
Genre: Contemporary Country, Alt-Country
❓ Big Special - Postindustrial Hometown Blues
Label: SO
Genre: Post-Punk, Indie Rock, Synthpop
Yaya Bey - Ten Fold
Label: Big Dada
Genre: Contemporary R&B, Neo-Soul
❓ The Empty Page - Imploding
Label: n/a
Genre: Indie Punk, Post-Punk
Låpsley - A Guilty Heart Can Never Rest
Label: Believe
Genre: Alternative R&B, Alt-Pop
Jordan Rakei - The Loop
Label: Deeca
Genre: Neo-Soul, Alternative R&B, Art Pop
Kings Of Leon - Can We Please Have Fun
Label: Capitol
Genre: Alternative Rock, Indie Rock
Lunchbox - Pop and Circumstance
Label: Slumberland
Genre: Twee Pop, Jangle Pop, Mod Revival
Hot Water Music - VOWS
Label: Equal Vision
Genre: Alternative Rock, Punk Rock
Villagers - That Golden Time
Label: Domino
Genre: Indie Pop, Chamber Folk
❓ Sofia Bolt - Vendredi Minuit
Label: Born Losers
Genre: Singer-Songwriter, Indie Rock
youbet - Way To Be
Label: Hardly Art
Genre: Neo-Psychedelia, Indie Rock
Rezzett - Puddings (EP)
Label: n/a
Genre: Outsider House, Lo-Fi House
death's dynamic shroud, galen tipton - You Like Music
Label: Ghost Diamond
Genre: Deconstructed Club, Wonky
Blue Rain Boots - The Grand Idea
Label: n/a
Genre: Indie Rock
Dinner Time - Technicolor
Label: n/a
Genre: Garage Rock
Dreamer Boy - LONESTAR
Label: Universal
Genre: Indie Pop, Pop Rock
A.G. Cook - Britpop
Label: New Atlas
Genre: Bubblegum Bass, Indietronica
The Long Lost Somethins - FARM (EP)
Label: n/a
Genre: Indie Rock
twikipedia - for the rest of your life
Label: n/a
Genre: Noise Pop, Indie Rock
MRCY - VOLUME 1
Label: Dead Oceans
Genre: R&B/Soul
Sudden Voices - Days and Nights
Label: n/a
Genre: Dream Pop, Jangle Pop
❓ Indoor Pets - Pathetic Apathetic
Label: Alcopop!
Genre: Power Pop, Indie Pop
Angus & Julia Stone - Cape Forestier
Label: Universal
Genre: Indie Folk, Folk Pop
❓ Douglas Dare - Omni
Label: Erased Tapes
Genre: Art Pop, Indietronica, Glitch Pop
❓ Keeley Forsyth - The Hollow
Label: 130701
Genre: Ambient, Chamber Music, Art Pop
Various Artists - I Saw The TV Glow (Original Soundtrack)
Label: A24
Genre: Alternative Rock, Indie Rock, Indietronica
Backspace - Outside of Change (April 30th)
Label: Maybe Mars
Genre: Psychedelic Rock, Post-Punk
❓ Unwed Sailor - Underwater Over There
Label: n/a
Genre: Indie Rock, Post-Rock
Tom Vek - Confirm Yourself (EP)
Label: n/a
Genre: Indietronica, Indie Rock, New Rave
❓ RONKER - Fear Is A Funny Thing, Now Smile Like A Big Boy
Label: Labelman
Genre: Post-Punk-Gaze
⭐ Uncle Acid & the Deadbeats - Nell' ora blu
Label: Rise Above
Genre: Psychedelic Rock, Progressive Rock, Film Soundtrack, Horror Synth
Myriam Gendron - Mayday
Label: Thrill Jockey
Genre: Contemporary Folk, Singer-songwriter
Fruit Bats - Starry-eyed, in Stereo
Label: Merge
Genre: Indie Pop, Folk Pop, Alt-Country
Bad Sounds - Escaping from a Violent Time
Label: Nettwerk
Genre: Indie Pop, Funktronica
Ditonellapiaga - FLASH
Label: Belli
Genre: Alt-Pop, Electropop
Cosha - MurMurs (EP)
Label: n/a
Genre: Contemporary R&B, Neo-Soul
Lil Jon, Kabir Sehgal - Manifest Abundance: Affirmations for Personal Growth
Label: BMG
Genre: Guided Meditation, New Age
Alexander Stewart - bleeding heart
Label: n/a
Genre: Pop
Alec Benjamin - 12 Notes
Label: Elektra
Genre: Pop, Singer-songwriter
Destiny Rogers - Still Your Girl
Label: Human Re Sources
Genre: Contemporary R&B, Alt-Pop
Peppa Pig - Peppa Pig Lofi Songs (EP)
Label: n/a
Genre: Lo-Fi Children's Music, Lo-Fi Television Music, Lo-Fi Bubblegum
Ghostface Killah - Set The Tone (Guns & Roses)
Label: Mass Appeal
Genre: East Coast Hip Hop, Pop Rap
Conway the Machine - Slant Face Killah
Label: Drumwork
Genre: East Coast Hip Hop, Gangsta Rap, Boom Bop
Abstract Museum & Guilty Simpson - Block Runners
Label: n/a
Genre: Hip Hop
Chief Keef - Almighty So 2
Label: 43B
Genre: Chicago Drill, Hardcore Hip Hop
Gunna - One of Wun
Label: Young Stoner Life
Genre: Trap, Southern Hip Hop
Rio Da Yung OG - Rio Circa 2020
Label: n/a
Genre: Detroit Trap, Gangsta Rap
Ryan Castro - EL CANTANTE DEL GHETTO
Label: n/a
Genre: Reggaetón
Kalan.FrFr - MAKE THE WEST GREAT AGAIN
Label: n/a
Genre: Pop Rap, West Coast Hip Hop
The Act/UnoTheActivist - Omega Music Vol. 1
Label: n/a
Genre: Southern Hip Hop, Trap
YhapoJJ - P.S. Fuck You
Label: Simple Stupid
Genre: Trap, Southern Hip Hop
M Huncho and Potter Payper - 36 Hours
Label: n/a
Genre: UK Hip Hop, Trap, Pop Rap
❓ Anonymuz - We$tside
Label: n/a
Genre: Hip Hop/Rap
⭐ Knocked Loose - You Won't Go Before You're Supposed To
Label: Pure Noise
Genre: Metalcore, Beatdown Hardcore
⭐ Like Moths to Flames - The Cycles Of Trying To Cope
Label: n/a
Genre: Metalcore
⭐ Unleash the Archers - Phantoma
Label: Napalm
Genre: Power Metal, Heavy Metal, Progressive Metal
⭐ El Moono - The Waking Sun
Label: Lockjaw
Genre: Alternative Metal, Alternative Rock
Six Feet Under - Killing for Revenge (nsfw artwork: gore)
Label: Metal Blade
Genre: Death Metal, Thrash Metal
The Plot In You - Vol. 2 (EP)
Label: n/a
Genre: Alternative Metal, Djent, Metalcore
Powerman 5000 - Abandon Ship
Label: Cleopatra
Genre: Nu Metal, Industrial Rock
Necrophagia - Moribundus Grim
Label: Time to Kill
Genre: Death Metal, Film Soundtrack
Riot V - Mean Streets
Label: Atomic Fire
Genre: Heavy Metal, US Power Metal
Warlord - Free Spirit Soar
Label: HR
Genre: US Power Metal, Heavy Metal
The Tangent - To Follow Polaris
Label: InsideOut
Genre: Progressive Rock, Symphonic Prog
Red Rot - Borders of Mania
Label: Hammerheart
Genre: Dissonant Death Metal, Sludge Metal
Take Offense - T.O.tality
Label: MNRK Heavy
Genre: Crossover Thrash
Binary Creed - Leash of Noise
Label: n/a
Genre: Power Metal, Progressive Metal
Borer - Bag Seeker
Label: Landmine
Genre: Doom Metal, Sludge Metal
Scoured - Scoured
Label: n/a
Genre: Indie

Hi ma,
I don't really know you. You died when I was 10. Ill from when I was 6. What I know of you is small situational time and memories of you. Which I ruminated and romantised growing up.
As far as I can tell you were calm, resilient, good hearted person. We had out disagreements from the get go. I used to think we are so different personality wise hence we clashed all the time. Now I like to think maybe we were not too different, I just didn't get to know you better.
I wasn't a good daughter to you. I was stupid, stubborn, ruthless to your soft self. Made you cry hundred of time. Everytime I saw you cry a part of me ripped apart but I am born awkward. I can't express my feelings and be vulnerable, just like you. We keep things inside us and pretend they never happened. Turn our blind eyes.
Later when you were dying a lil day by day, when your godly resilience was rusting, you cursed me out. I carry that curse everyday.
Anyways, If I get to know you, I know I wouldn't have been romanticising you this much. I would see you like I do dad now, mare human being with flaws, like me, trying our best to survive.
Let's ruminate you today again. I loved how cuddly teddy bear you were. I had hurt you sometimes with my cute aggression. Remember how I used to bite you lol. I could never stop hugging you. So when you left, I smelled and wrapped your home wear saari till I could not smell the motherly scent yours. I would nag you even when you were dying in pain to feed me by hand. I loved when you read me story. I would always bye you when you went to office from gate till I can't see you. Loved when you brought snacks while coming home from office. I loved to take nap with you. Loved when you helped me with studies. You were amature cook and insecure about it but dad and me loved whatever you cooked because you cooked with love.
You wanted to live so bad. So fucking bad. You struggled all your life so much. You were so poor and single handedly pulled your family out of proverty. Uncle's are successful because of you. You were intelligent af. Everybody knew you as bright student who fought her away out of poverty. Dad was in love with your intelligence and maturity.
Dad loved you like crazy. You were a lucky wife. I wish I was a better daughter to you. God the guilt kills me sometimes.
I always thought you were very cute(so did dad) but you thought the opposite, was insecure. Funny thing is now I look like your exact carbon copy lol. Same height, skin color, face, body type, voice. And whenever I don't like my looks, I remember you. I remember you saying how you are below average looking and me and dad together protested that so hard. I believed you were cute. So that means so am I. If I think I'm ugly that would be calling you ugly and how can I do that. You were the cutest person to me. Thank god I look like you, I don't dare to be insecure about my looks. I will not dishonor you.
Unlike you I couldn't be successful. You badly wished I was but I failed you on that. I'm sorry.
When you were dying the last thing you said to dad was "Don't worry about basic needs and her studies, my pension will be there. Her study will never stop. Take care of yourself. She will be fine because she loves you more anyways" You were so right. You saved us even after a decade of your death. Fuck cancer btw.
When dad lost his private job and fall ill. Your pension kept us alive. We could eat and buy meds, give college fees because of you. Otherwise we would have been long gone.
Then he died. I was unemployed, you pension give food to my table.
I just wanna tell you, you were so wrong about the last statement. I loved both of you equally. No more no less. I just couldn't express.
I have moved on from you in last decade. I have gave away all your clothes. Sold your jewellery. Moved away and sold all your wedding furnitures. The only thing I have of you is your wedding saari and the wedding album. You looked so gooddamn beautiful in that btw.
I wish you lived and I died. I wish I got the cancer not you. You wanted to live so bad and I never have been really attached to life anyways.
I heard dad wanted a boy but you were happy with me. You cried so much when I almost died in birth.
One of my best memory of you is, I was pretend sleeping at night and you told dad how cute I looked like that. It's my top core happy memory.
I just wanna say I love you very much. I would give my life to hug you again. I miss you a lot. You are a cutiepie ma.

Right up there with birthdays is mother's day! Oh boy, this was a doozy. As I'm sure there will be no shortage of posts on this topic the next few days here I'll go ahead put this at the top tl:dr Ndad and emom (or whatever the hell she is) popped in with mother's day flowers. In a true Freaky Friday experience, emom left in tears and ndad was reasonable and understanding to talk to. I'm on the other side not feeling all that bad which makes me feel awful.
Some background. Narc dad (antagonist, cerebral) obvious, controlling, a abusive since the dawn of time. Emom seemed like perfect mother( caring, understanding, patient) excecpt that she would not stand up to ndad. Over the past few years my mom has changed drastically, pushy, always doing ndads bidding. Used to not tell ndad things unless she was given the ok. She really started to change about 5 years ago and keeps getting worse. Like everyone here I've had many rounds of them showing up out of the blue. I have told them in the past that they need to text or call. This lead to 'Just on our way from X, stopping by to...' it got really bad around my birthday in March. They could sense they went too far and backed off for a bit. I was pop-in free for all of 2 months, 2 glorious months! During that time I did see them 3 scheduled times, but nothing unplanned.
Today my husband, daughter(5) and I got up very early and went to a big plant sale about an hour away. After being outside and on our feet all day my daughter still wanted to play outside when we got home. I finally got her to agree to go inside at 3:30 because the dog was getting bit by gnats. In the middle of changing out of my sweaty clothes, the dog starts to bark.
Thats right, POP-IN! My phone dings "Just leaving town. We have some stuff to drop off"
I lock the door with my phone.
My husband is outside! and has no where to hide. He has trouble being 'rude' to my parents (it's a whole problem of it's own). He starts talking to them and let's them in the house (again, I know this is an issue, he was also raised by narc/BPD and has his own people pleasing problem)
My emom hands me grocery store flowers and says happy mother's day. Ndad makes it to the kitchen, handed me a card and immediately goes back to talking to my husband about he current health problem and working in something he needs my husband to do for him.
I'm getting annoyed at everyone at this point and continue doing dishes like they are not there. At some point my ndad mentions to my mom that they are only staying 10 min. My daughter wants to go back outside with Grandma. My mom tells her "you have to ask your mom" (they can never be the bad guy, makes it so it's always 'sorry, your mom said no')
We don't leave my daughter alone with either of my parents, so I go change clothes and go back outside. My husband leads my ndad back outside too.
I had to leave to dog inside because of the bugs, but she is having separation anxiety so I step back inside to calm her down.
I write my mom a text I plan to send later. As I'm writing and editing the text my mom walks back into my house. The straight forward text I'm attempting to write flies out of my mouth at her in a angry tone
"It's not okay for you guys to just decide to stop in at my house when you're on your way back from somewhere. You need to message me and I need to say yes before you guys come to my house"
Emom "But you never get back to us and just ignore us"
Rage! "So the solution to just force yourselves in"
She starts crying, turns around it starts towards the door. She murmurs something about them leaving. I tried to say something apologetic then half laugh at the manipulation.
I felt sick, I texted my husband "seriously going to puke"
I was still sitting on the floor 5 min later when my ndad walks in.
I had the most reasonable conversation of my life with him. He came in calm. Asked me how I was doing. Things came out of his mouth like "it isn't going to get better if we don't talk about it" "there are so many ways that someone else might see a situation". Of course he still manages to throw blame on my mom for some of his actions and some teary eyed "we just miss you and Daughter" But over all oddly productive.
I go back outside to give my mom a hug. She's sitting on the car with her seatbelt on and the door open. When she sees me, she shuts the car door. I walk over and say I'm sorry through the open window.
She starts just bawling and says "you shouldn't to talk to me that way".
It's was so bizarre. I really don't remember exactly what I said to her but I remember saying with a humourous tone "I talked to dad some and it was like the most reasonable conversation I've ever had with him" and laughed. Because if anyone should know how crazy it was to have that conversation with him, it's her.
Nothing from her. She launches into "We just miss you guys so much. We like spending time with you" Finally she got back out of the car and gave me a hug when my daughter came out to show her a shirt with a fuzzy cat on it. Then they left.
It was the weirdest experience. It's like the two of them switched bodies! Ndad being, dare I say, supportive. And emom throwing every blame, guilt, crying, manipulative tactic at me.
With the help of this group, thankfully I am not currently racked with guilt about ruining mother's day for my mom. I do wish I wouldn't have losty temper. I er all I actually feel very little. But that has caused me to second guess myself and now I feel bad about not feeling bad. It's like I have over come the guilt that they are intentionally trying to inflict, only to feel guilty about not feeling it.
Plus the confusion of what my mom actually is and grieving that who she used to be is truly gone.

For context, I am transmasc/genderqueer person who often gets both crushes as well as gender envy when I see cool gnc transfemmes.
A confusing conondrum for sure, but I think its bc I really admire the mix of expressions of the feminine and masculine. And ofc, gender non-conformity comes in many ways, gnc transmasc are so hot to me rtoo. But it often happens specifically when I see a tall transfemme, who dares to wear the nice croptop, but is also just really nonchalant about how she expresses her gender (or lack-there-of). I get really nervous and kinda implode, despite the fact that I am really into that person in that moment.
It's partly bc I'm scared that there could be a weird layer of objectivication, that I dont feel good about. And partly because I am just bad at explaining to other trans people that their presence means a lot to me, and that my gender struggles are a bit unusual, out of the fear they think I am a weirdo (which I am lil, but still)
Technically, I dont even have the right machine parts to quality as a transfemme, but I feel like my egg is constantly getting cracked, but in a very upside down way.
Tdlr I have a type, and that type is tall gnc transwomen. I cant tell if I want to be them, or want to be with them. Am I weird for having these kind of crushes on other trans people?

I wanna start reading marvel comics but don’t know where to start When i started with dc comics I had like an starting point with crises on infinite earths I started to read everything from that point
But I don’t really have that point for marvel
I’m really interested in spider man, iron man, hulk, thor, dare devil, the X-men and the avengers and lil bit captain america
I want to read basically anything from those characters from the mid 80s to now

Bit of a rant since I'm just typing and not sure where this is going. So my boyfriend (LDR) went out with a friend in December last year. They'd met in a group setting in a bar with their friends. Stuff happened, he helped her out and they kinda became friends. She asked to hang out again and he asked her to join in when he was going out with friends. On that day, him and his friends couldn't make it and the girl had to wait for almost an hour and then go back so he apologized and set another time to hang out. This time she decide the place and everything. So, she took him out to this charming high end french place, there was wine, the vibe was just that and she was dressed for a date. She made some not so subtle moves so he clarified that he's dating someone and it ended at that.
Now, she's recently reached out to hangout again and suggested brunch tomorrow. He mentioned it aaj and I said ki it's weird. He assured me that she knows that he is with me and it's not a thing. I trust him in that nothing is going to happen and all that. He also said that he I find it weird then he won't make plans with her again.
My problem is with the perception part of it or the part where maybe I'm wrong about things? Does it look weird that he is hanging out with someone who has a thing for him? Should I be concerned about him hanging? Should he have cancelled when I said it is a lil weird? Am I delusional in not being affected by mistake stuff like this? (When I know nothing is happening or has any chance of happening should I still intervene? ) On most days in not sure how are you supposed to behave as a partner? Where to draw the line? What to care about?
In a way it's not just about this one thing - I'm just having a hard time figuring out where am I jealous? Where should I try and intervene? Do I actually care about this or do I just care about what it would look like? (As in to a third person, to his and my friends - do I come out as an idiot for not caring about such things? ) basically I'm very confused about my own feelings and am a swinging pendulum when it comes to what to expect as a partner.
Another eg- all of them went to a pretty famous bar today where based on a wheel they had to do dares- as a part of that he went on a knee and asked someone out.when they were coming back he was telling me about it and one of his friends went ki oh don't go easy on him why are you laughing it off. I wouldn't if my boyfriend did that.
Context - He is a bit older so I don't want it to seem like ki someone has the upper hand (I'm not sure how wrong this sounds). And he is not someone who thinks a lot about things and we've talked about it but once you point something out he takes note of it and changes that thing. Also my first 'real' relationship, I'd just dated around before that so I keep telling him and myself that I'm not sure about half the things and an just forming my opinion on them as they come.
Just a rant but any thoughts and advice is very much appreciated. Also, people who are moch more smarter than me - how do you go about this or do you have all your thoughts sorted?

Number One: Hiking
There are times in my life where I have spent a lot of time out in the wilderness by myself. It was something I enjoyed when I was younger, and that I can’t do anymore now that I am much older. I do miss most of those days now, but there have been a few instances of things that weren’t very pleasant. Now, I imagine you can think that I have come across my share of scary wild animals or scorpions or things like that. However, that is not what my story is going to be about.
This particular time, I was on a very long hike through the mountains. That was my preferred method of adventure. I was trying to see as much as I could of the outdoors while I was able to, so I would rarely go to the same place twice. This time was my first time ever going through the Appalachian mountains.
The woods in those mountains could still be very thick depending on where you were. I brought a tent with me just in case there was severe weather that would warrant it, but for the most part I just slept outside.
Having done this many times before, I wasn’t really scared of anything out there. I had even had some mild encounters with dangerous animals in the past too. But I never got injured. I showed the animals respect by keeping out of their way and they did also kept out of my way, so there were never any problems. I hunted and fished for most of my food, so I didn’t have food on me to attract animals. So I didn’t worry about things like bears. There were supposedly a lot of black bears in the Appalachian Mountains, but during this trip and subsequent ones, I never came across one.
I was heading south toward a specific area, where I would rejoin civilization and it was slow going. I stayed away from actual hiking trails to keep away from people too. One of the primary goals of these hiking trips of mine was to try and keep away from people as much as possible and just feel something in nature.
When you spend so much time out in the woods, you begin to get habituated to the normal sounds out there. Once you do, you then become hyper aware of anything that sounds like it is out of the ordinary.
About a week and a half after I had disappeared into the mountains, I began getting a little nervous. I began hearing the occasional sound that seemed totally out of place for where I was. There were occasional things like the snapping of twigs that I hadn’t been hearing before. But there was also the absence of noises at times as well. For example, I was hearing a lot less bird noises at certain times.
I went to sleep one night and was woken up by something in the middle of the night. I didn’t know what it was, but normally the noises of the forest didn’t wake me up. I easily went back to sleep again. However, I was woken up by something a couple more times that night before I finally fell asleep and didn’t wake up until morning.
The following day was pretty similar to that day. There was just something that seemed a little off and was bothering me throughout the day. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it and it really was beginning to bug me. I hated the idea of my camping trip getting ruined, especially because whatever was happening, was probably just in my head.
I woke up the following morning after that, after having another night that had multiple interruptions. Fortunately, I was okay not getting a whole lot of sleep, so that didn’t bother me too much. It was just the constant notion that something off that was really bugging me.
That night it seemed like there might be a little rain, so I put my tent up for the night. I did end up raining a little bit, but not too much. I tend to sleep better when it rains outside, so I did sleep like a rock that night.
The following morning, I felt a little stiff so I stayed lying down for a little longer than I usually would. When I finally got out of my tent, I noticed something that scared the hell out of me. There was a really old doll, hanging by its neck from one of the trees right outside of my tent. It was set up in a spot that I would have been sure to see it the moment that I stepped out of the tent. And I knew that it hadn’t been there the night before.
For the first time since everything had begun feeling off, I actually began feeling a little scared. I suspected that the reason I had been feeling off was because I was getting the feeling that I was being watched. Of course, now that feeling had been amplified. Someone had to have been watching me in order to have set that up. Plus, their message was pretty clear.
I wasn’t really sure what I could do about it, however. I had a general map of the area and I decided to detour toward a road. It would take me a while to get there, but I figured it was the safest thing to do. Someone was obviously hostile and did not want me in that area.
It took me about a day to make it to the road. All the time, I kept having that weird off feeling. All the time, I felt like someone was watching me. I didn’t even feel comfortable when I did make it back to the road.
I don’t know if I kept going the way I had been going if I would have come across something I wasn’t supposed to see. But there was some reason that someone really didn’t want me in that area and I got their message loud and clear.
Number Two: Old House
When I was growing up, we lived in a rural home that was probably an hour away from the elementary school that we attended. We would catch the bus to school every morning, but the bus did not come down the gravel road that we lived on. We would have to get up early in the morning, when it was still dark outside and after getting ready for school, we would have to walk to along the road until we came to the paved road. That is where the bus would pick us up and take us to school. It was usually still dark out when the bus would pick us up and we would watch the sun come up as the bus took us to school.
There weren’t a whole lot of houses along that walk, either. There was only one small one that had another student living in it. This was my friend Jeff who was my best friend throughout my school years. He would meet us when we walked by his house and walk with us all the way to the bus stop.
There was an even older house, though, that we walked by but it was abandoned. It was boarded up and according to my parents, no one had lived in that house for a very long time. We were forbidden to go and explore it because our parents said that it was very old and could be dangerous. We used to go exploring in the woods around the house quite often, which is why I suppose they thought we might try exploring the house too.
When I was 11 years old, I was walking to the bus stop with Jeff. As we were passing by the house, I noticed something really strange. It looked like there was light coming from the second story of the house. I could have sworn that I saw a figure in the second story window, looking out through the curtain. The house was maybe fifty feet back from the road, so it was possible that I wasn’t seeing it correctly. Jeff claimed that he didn’t see anyone himself, but I was pretty sure of it.
I don’t know why it is, but the idea of someone living in an abandoned house was sort of frightening to me. I became nervous as I would walk by the house, but really only in the mornings when it was dark outside. In the afternoon, walking home, all of that fear would go away and I never noticed anything. So, I thought that perhaps in the morning my imagination might have been overactive and I tried my best to leave it at that.
That was until one day, when Jeff’s cousin was riding the bus home with us and got off at our stop. He was going to be staying the weekend over at Jeff’s house. Jeff had told his cousin (who I cannot recall the name of) that I had thought there was someone in the house. So, his cousin thought we should check it out on the walk home.
If any of us were scared to do this, and I know that I definitely was, no one said anything about it. The yard was very unkempt and the driveway was there, but it had been grown over a bit. But the three of us walked up in and to the house.
We stopped not too far from the entrance to the house. It had three steps leading up to a very old porch. I kept looking up at the window, trying to see if I could see the figure that I had been seeing up in the window. But I didn’t see anyone.
Jeff and his cousin dared me to go up on the porch and knock on the door. There was nothing that I wanted to do less, but I couldn’t wuss out in front of those guys. So I decided to just do it and get it over with.
I did take my time walking up the steps to the house, but knew I shouldn’t take too long. Finally, I knocked on the door really fast. I heard a noise that startled me and I ran back to my friends, who were laughing pretty hard. Jeff’s cousin had thrown a rock at the house to scare me and that was the noise that I had heard. I remember pretending to think it was funny but it had scared the hell out of me.
But when all three of us looking back at the house, for one moment, we caught someone looking out of the front window at us. We only saw them for a second before they moved quickly away from the window.
We were only 11, so we were pretty freaked out and ran away from the house. We still had vivid imaginations at that age, and thought that it might be a ghost or a crazy person living in the house.
If that wasn’t scary enough, later that evening Jeff came over to my house. I was surprised that he did because it was so late and was dark out, but we often hung out after dark. But what he told me surprised me. The old house was on fire. He wanted me to come and see it.
Well, my whole family went, actually, and he was right. The house was burning down on the exact day that we had seen someone in it. This, of course, made us begin to wonder if whoever was in the house had something to hide and they burnt the house down once they had been discovered. I don’t know.
The whole thing might not have been really scary, but it definitely was very creepy. There wasn’t a body or anything found in the house, so whoever it was must have burned it down and left. We never did find out who it was.
Number Three: Corn Road
When I first began driving, I was actually about 19 years old. I hadn’t had an interest in driving before that, so I didn’t do it until it became a necessity for me to do. In the beginning, I was really awful when it came to knowing where I was going. I would get lost a whole lot. My sense of direction is much better now, but it took a while before it got to be much better.
My first really significant time getting lost was the scariest one of them all, however. I lived in the suburbs and had to take the freeway into the city for something. It sucked because I had never driven on the interstate before and I was a bit terrified. I did, however, get to the city and get my errand taken care of. Then, I was just as eager as can be to get back on the interstate and back to the suburbs.
Now, I didn’t realize, however, that I had gotten on the wrong interstate going home. They both started with the same number, so in my driving naivety at the time, assumed that I had taken the correct way. I was also so very focused on the driving and the other cars that I didn’t notice right away that the surroundings were different than the ones I had been on before. I didn’t know all of the exits, either, except the one that I was looking for that was close to where I was living at the time. So, I kept looking out for it.
But as I kept driving and driving, my exit never showed up. I started getting a little worried at first, but it wasn’t until I had driven a whole hour and a half that I began panicking. I hadn’t come across my exit yet and had no idea where it was. It wasn’t until I came across a sign with an exit to a town that I knew was over a two hour drive from where I lived that I realized that I had taken the wrong way.
I wasn’t sure what to do. However, I knew that I had driven out west and that I had to go east in order to get back home. So, I found a exit going east and decided to take that road and see how far it could get me. Sure, it wasn’t the greatest plan in the world but this was long before we had mobile phones that told us which way to go. It was the only thing that I could think of that would get me at least back in an area that would eventually lead me back home.
It’s amazing how such rural areas can exist around and so close to suburban and urban areas. The road I took first took me through a really small town. But after I got through the town, it was very rural. I was driving through cornfields, which I had never even seen before. But still, I found driving that way much more comfortable than I did driving on the interstate.
However, as the drive went on and on, I began to get uncomfortable for some reason. I think it was because I felt so amazingly alone on the road. I wasn’t coming across any other cars and the only lights that I had were from my headlights. I kept looking up into the rearview mirror and I was worried that I wasn’t seeing anything behind me due to the darkness. The whole experience was really unnerving.
As I was driving, I noticed something up ahead of me. There was something sticking out of one of the cornfields. I kept trying to figure out what it was as I got closer and closer, but it wasn’t until I came right up upon it that I made out what it was. There was a car that was sticking front end first into the corn.
I drove past it but slowed down a bit. I began thinking about how long the car might have been there. I then thought about how there were barely any cars on the road that night and began wondering if someone had recently crashed their car. Someone else might not have come along to help them since the road was so empty. I then began thinking about whether someone might be injured in the car, and that worried me.
I turned around and decided to drive back to the car. I wanted to try and help someone if they needed help. I drove past the car one more time going the other way, then I turned around and pulled up on the side of the road. I had to get my car all the way off of the road, and there was a ditch between the road and the corn. So, I couldn’t have my headlights shining on the car. I had to get a flashlight out of my trunk in order to see anything really.
My flashlight wasn’t great but I was able to see enough to get not trip or fall over anything. None of the cars lights were on, either, so I didn’t have that to help me. I just kept hoping that no one had been hurt.
I awkwardly made it over the ditch and went to walk over by the car. I did feel pretty nervous approaching the corn in the dark like that. It was just so quiet and so dark out there, I had a bit of an ominous feeling about it. I was mostly hoping that there was no one in the car. It definitely looked like it had crashed into the corn. There were tire tracks that ran through the ditch and then up to the car itself. That worried me because if they had gotten help, likely the car would have also been towed. But since it was sitting in front of me, I completely expected to see someone dead on the driver’s seat.
I got up to the car and shined my flashlight into the driver’s window. To my relief, though, no one was in the seat. I looked throughout the rest of the car and still didn’t see anyone. I relaxed, thinking that whomever had wrecked the car at least walked away from it fine. Perhaps they had gotten a ride into town or something and would be coming back. I could just get back to my car and then go on my way.
“Get away from my fucking car!” I suddenly heard a voice scream from the direction of the corn. It was so loud and sounded so freaky that I turned around and almost fell down on my butt. I had to grab the car for leverage so I wouldn’t fall over.
“I told you to get away from my fucking car!” the voice repeated.
I shined the flashlight into the corn just in time to see a man coming out of the corn to the front of the car. He slammed his hands down on the hood of the car and repeated again what he said to me. He absolutely seemed angry as hell.
I tried telling him I was sorry, but I found myself at a loss for words. He began to come around the car and my fear got the best of me at that point. I turned around and ran back toward my car. I stumbled a few times, but was able to catch myself.
When I got into my car, I looked over and noticed that the guy had opened his car door. He had something in his hand and he was coming toward me.
Before he could get over the ditch, though, I started my car back up and got it into drive. The man nearly made it to my car before I was able to speed away from him. I looked back in my mirror to see something in the red taillight than shined behind me, but nothing I could make out.
It took me a long time to calm down. I was so freaked out that I kept expecting the guy to pop up out of my backseat and try to grab me. Yeah, I know that is supernatural horror movie nonsense, but I was pretty shaken up.
It took me a while to calm down and even a longer time before I was able to finally make it to familiar territory. I don’t know why that guy was so angry, but he scared the daylights out of me.

Throwaway account for obvious reasons
Am a student in SOE. And I am genuinely sick and tired of this charade from some of the mods I've taken (Under CIS/SOSS).
What some SMU Profs (If not the most long-standing or Adjunct Profs) lack is the ability to take on or welcome dissent. Not in disagreeing with Prof's conjecture for the sake of disagreement, or clarifications, but to disagree and thoroughly back up our points as students. I've had my Class Part knocked down because it "wasn't appropriate" or just dismissed, even if it was explained and backed clearly. Ossified Profs, and even extending into the Institution of SMU itself, are a very real problem here.
What I've come to realise too late, is that peeps here lack conviction to challenge Profs, or to believe in themselves. Either toe the line with what Profs mention, or get penalised more easily than those who do follow the prevailing content. And it's more so that the student has opposing views, but lack the technical skill and perseverance to elucidate the point clearly so that that student doesn't get dismissed as a "Class-part hungry basterd". It's unlikely anyone will find a heated but healthy discourse on Philosophy/Humanities mods precisely because of this reason. Opposing views just become Ad Hominem target boards or brushed off , since the other dude who doesn't have a PhD doesn't know jack about their views and try to play it smart. And each time that happens, peeps who do have valid concerns get shut down. You would see students queue up and ask Profs after class, "Prof is this opinion correct?" of a Final Paper that has no true correctness. Do you even stand by what you write? Or is it that Prof fed you lines to write just for that coveted A/A+? All so fearful to make mistakes, so fearful to go against. There just isn't room for heretics.
And dare I say for those who do toe the line without thought (All those silent, insular ppl), you are complicit in your own intellectual demise. What is most dangerous, and most pernicious, is when you stop asking "Why?", and begin to internalise your Prof's opinions as your own. Looking at Prof's Notes as your sole source of knowledge. Especially for mods that have no clear right and wrong (Non-quantitative mods). 9 months in, and I found myself ceasing to do just that, to stop asking. I desperately wished that wasn't the case. I hated what I've become, a reflection of beliefs from Core Mods that I never wanted to subscribe to when I attended my first course in the Capabilities basket. Bow and scrape, toe the line for a top score (Anyone that takes WR knows).
"I know of no better life purpose than to perish in attempting the great and the impossible" by Nietzsche. It is the drive of oneself to push beyond what was previously inconceivable, especially in something as expansive and as accessible to any one human being as academia, a true reflection of human industriousness. And this is particularly so for the entire institution of SOSS/CIS, where the gift of thought, ideas, and opinions (Be it PolSci, Psych, etc) is not restricted to any one human being. It is on the onus of ourselves to develop and challenge how we perceive the world, and to do so unrelentingly. That is sacrosanct. Even if it isn't reflected on a graded card, this duty to push ourselves intellectually and be intellectually curious, still remains. Not on the Profs, not on your peers. You. Too many that I have seen chose ignorance. To stop challenging yourself and your thoughts for the fears your grades take a plunge. To forsake it for career prospects of a high-flying job (Mechanically forced to be curious to find a job). To relinquish it for Prof's preferences, where even Profs do not share their preferences openly. I am not immune. But I am sickened by this reality.
Unless you don't already have a good grasp of your basic premises of your Humanities understanding (In that case you would marginally benefit from reading the figurative instruction manual on "How to be a Humanities person" in SMU Modules), you will emerge from SMU a more conformist individual than when you first started out with. The words 'conformist' and 'Humanities', be it PolSci, Law Electives etc, is like clipping the wings of a songbird when mixed. You will never fly as high as someone else who has the autonomy to develop themselves by challenging prevailing doctrine, and welcomed in doing so. That was one of the strongest arguments of free-expression by Claudine Gay during her US Congressional Hearing on Anti-Semitism. Can't say for sure, but NUS & NTU make 0 ostentation in challenging beliefs, by offering more theoretical aspects of Humanities disciplines. You can debate your way out of a paper bag there (Doesn't mean that they do). Can't say the same for SMU, given the label of "not pragmatic" can be (Not always) universalised to shut down any argument pertaining more open-ended mods. No one and nothing here breaks ground, period. Not implying that NUS & NTU could break ground either, that would be a fallacious argument.
Yes, it can be difficult for Profs to view beliefs not of their own in an unbiased manner. But for a select few, it is rare to see them try to be accommodating to other views. Some of us gave our all to be here, some more so than others. Final papers didn't magically materialise out of thin air. Each one of those papers represents nights and nights of filtering, toiling, however unrefined it may be, to be given judgement (Unless you write a puff piece 2.5k in 1 sitting - Hats off to you). All that effort and for what? Deliberate silence on Essay feedback by giving the excuse of "I have so many students to give feedback to", and then arbitrarily giving a lower score to dissident views is truly a prime example of academic fairness (Sarcasm intended in case you didn't catch it). And then secretly complain that students can't write papers properly. Basically make the economy for Writing Workshops (Negative Marginal Utility for me due to opportunity costs of time).
Undertook BQ previously and a Philosophy mod (Self-Respect), but since then the Prof of the latter, who recently joined, has left the school midway during the term, which is a pity since I can genuinely see her trying to inspire us to think further and challenge ourselves, finding critique within the course content. This should've been the ethos of any Humanities subject. Discourse is a 3-sided coin, and not the 1 side that is most palatable. I question the institution and the future of SMU's SOSS/CIS in this regard. There's much to be disappointed towards. Now it's just a greater burden on me to stretch myself intellectually without formal academic support (Sucks to not be a Final year student).
Prospective students (Esp for Humanities, can't speak for Law), think twice before coming. It is where Passion goes to die. This whole school feeds off the fear of your job insecurity and grade insecurity, and then those fears of yours feed off each other. All of that will supersede any genuine passion that drew you into the course. It's so blatantly true in just about any Acad clubs, or even smaller clubs. Woo you with the false promise of high-flying networking opportunities in the hopes of securing a coveted career, and a few bold ones attempt to extort your money, as if SMU hasn't bled our pockets dry alr. Straight up fearmongering (Sumo Cum Laude, etc). Any student government abetting this is deplorable. Maybe it isn't exclusive to SMU, but it's still here. If you gaze long enough into the abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you. You WILL lose more in ways you cannot imagine. Your independence of thought, your conferring-identity commitment (By that I mean interests you do as a human being, distinct from a future career plan) eviscerates itself before you know. It is too easy to conform. I have yet to find a sizeable outlier case where people do not fall into this pit.
I have seen people in ICON's Mentoring Programme (It's an cute lil Group Therapy session disguised as Networking ngl) doing introductions like this: Eg. Hi my name is ____, am from __insert school here___, and my interest is in Impact Investing. Bij from the moment you were born you wanted to go to Investment Banking? Or just plain lying on their Resume. Better yet, I have seen cases of people masking career ambitions as their passions. That's equivalent to IB ppl saying that their passion and joy to themselves is in "maximising shareholder value". Just goes to prove my point.
Good on you if you know the face behind the name. A dearth of passionate, bright-eyed idealists is just what this place has. Pliant, insecure and insular. That's the only reflection I see of most people roaming SMU's glass halls. If a school is great in its own right, it will never have to spend a dime advertising itself as the best. Just look at all the banners in SCIS I building and SMU underground. Take this rant however you will it to be. Prove me otherwise.
And yes, pls take this with a huge pinch of salt.

[NOTE: I am so glad the Dare worked for you guys! I wasn't in a state to reply to any of your comments. But now that I am better, I'll look at all of em! So glad that you guys gave it an honest try!]
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It's crazy how this happened, you guys!
Right after I made that Dare post, I began feeling light headed. But I dismissed it and went to sleep.
When I woke up the next morning, the world around me was spinning. And it kinda worsened with every step I took.
It got to the point where going to the washroom became as issue as well.
On top of that, I felt nauseous every time I tried to sit up or move even an inch from my position.
It felt like hell, ngl.
My dad brought me some meds. It didn't work. So I just writhed in pain until I slept. Then he changed the meds, after consulting with a doc.
😑 That didn't work either.
And I myself was in no condition to walk. I was HUNGRY AF but as soon as I tried to sit up and eat, the world around me started spinning again and I threw up.
This went on for a good while until, last night, before falling asleep, I created a scene and followed it to the best of my abilities.
🦋 My scene was simple:
I heard my mom ask me, "How are you feeling now, hon?"
And I replied, "I feel absolutely amazing!" in a cheery voice.
🦋 I must have repeated this for a while before dizziness took over and I fell asleep.
✨️ I woke up again around 4 am because of my alarm and the moment I moved to turn it off, I felt like I was falling down!
It was like my symptoms had worsened! Earlier at least I felt dizzy only while sitting up or walking.
Now though, the world began spinning the moment I opened my eyes, even though I was still lying down.
✨️ I managed to turn my phone off - and even that took a good 15 minutes because my fingers were trembling and my eyes couldn't focus on anything - and then collapsed back into the bed.
I started looping my scene again.
It was difficult, as I felt nauseous CONSTANTLY even while doing so.
Fuck, embarrassing how I needed to pee but couldn't get up because ugh, pain.
So that added to the discomfort as well.
🦋 But still, I demained faithful to my scene to the best of my ability at that time.
I don't remember falling asleep.
But I was woken up by my dad. He usually speaks in a louder than usual voice in the morning and I got SOOO FUCKIN PISSED that I woke up and stormed off into another room!!
I - who wasn't able to even take a single step without falling down - was able to STORM OFF?? ANGRILYYY??? When earlier I couldn't even fucking frown without feeling nauseous?? 😂
And it wasn't until a few minutes later that I realized that I wasn't feeling dizzy anymore. 😂
I was able to walk, hell even YELL 😂 without my body threatening to pass out or throw up!
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I gotta say, you guys, this was the most difficult SATS I have ever done. Because I was in no position to do anything at all!
Even with eyes closed, I felt that my house was spinning, my bed was falling down a cliff or something!!
So, in such a state, focusing on a scene, let alone invoke feelings of health and satisfaction, was not easy.
🦋 And that's why I focused on the phrase to the best of my ability
You see you aren't able to function exactly the same ALL THE TIME.
Some days, you feel energetic AF and confident in your imaginal abilities.
Others, it's difficult to conjure up the determination to even THINK about it, you know?
And that's okay!
Just be honest with yourself and DO IT TO THE BEST OF YOUR ABILITIES at that time.
And leave the rest to your imagination.
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Hope my story inspired you a lil bit!
Until next time,
[R A I N] ☔️