~Player always get better or cooler reward for helping other~
Player race - fiver options for customization
Ghoul
No radiation damage + slow regeneration + npc more mefiant and discrimination
Glowing ghoul =
No radiation damage + slow regeneration + npc shoot on sight need to convinced them you’re sane
Super mutant =
No radiation damage + Npc are scared and treat you like an idiot and discriminate
Synthétique =
The compount will hunt you down eventually
Human = no malus or bonus

Character background :
Ghoul / glowing ghoul : Old ghoul ; new ghoul ; vault
Human : Vault ; settler ; brotherhood ; institute
Super mutant: amnesiac
Synthétique : Railroad ; Mister handy (Miss nanny) Old, new, vault.
START
New arrivant decided to etablished themselves in an old farm close to the local town and become farmer.
First objectif :
- rebuilt home by scavenging in delapited town

• scavenging town to find seed (First seed of the player)
  
• Scavenging town to find gardening tool
  

Mechanics

Upgrade house by collecting enough scavenging material (metal, stone, tape, glue, etc…) and paid the town entrepreneur to do so.
Possibility to upgrade town by the same way : drinkable water ; defense ; radio tower ; museum ; school ; etc…
Defend home from wild attack (animal, raiders, super mutant, ect…) with gun and eventually autonomous turrets (later game) and engage mercenary to defed (late game). The more the player amass money, the more frequent the attack will be.
Scavenger will gossip about big event and some minor event that occurred in the settlement that you participated in.
Settlement gestion :

• Happiness (Festival ? ; npc request ; …)
  
• Sanitaire (Water access)
  
• Defense (Millitia ; autonomous turrets ; dogs)
  

Thirst gestion.
Can recolt skin, meat (and bones?) of wild animal.
Can recolt material, used to very used weapond, (rarely) health item, (meat and corpse body parts?) on intelligent humanoïds ennemy
Carrying can either be by weight of the item or by the number of item player can carry.

Farming

Season : Spring (middle season) ; Summer (high season) ; Automn (middle season) ; Winter (low season)
Tool: Hoe ; Scynthe ; Watering can ; Pickaxe hamme
Base crop value vs transform product :
Spring : -- ++
Summer : --- +++
Automn : ++ --
Winter : +++ ---

Can sell crop and other to nearest settlement (help with settlement relationship at first) or to traveling marchant.
The river close to your home have fish in it. It take two day for fish to repopulate. If seasonal fish have all be take out, it will take two years
Can raise different mutated animal. Sell them to the town for meat (or kill them and sell them yourself ?) or keep them alive for animal product. (Animal have life span?)
Transform product : Wine ; beer ; jelly ; dried spice,meat, fish ; cheese ; mayo ; butter
Farm building :

• Coop and barn
  
• Forge to fix used weapon
  

- Wind mill

• Food storage (?)
  
• Money storage (no bank, credit card or debit card. Need to carry in your inventary the money life in fallout)
  

Crop seed that can be found in the town :

• Potato
  
• Melon
  
• Wheat
  
• Corn
  
• Carrot
  
• Gourd
  

Seed you can buy for traveling marchants :

• Spice seed (basilic ; persil; etc..)
  
• Fruit seed
  
• Legume seed
  

( - Flower and house plant seed ? (Aloes??))

Fight

No power armor for the player :(
Can buy stimpack and radaway from settlement healer or from scavenger in the town (for a more expensive price). When reach high enough relationship with healer, he will give you the recipe for both. The only way to regain life and get rid of radiation (sleep and food don’t heal). (Sickness (malus) if health too low for too long?)
Gain radiation by drinking
The main fight zone of the game is the town. In the edge : house, a small commerce (tiny to small dungeon) ; Closer to the center: Office, appartement (small to medium dungeon) ; Center : Commercial center, sky scrapper, (subway?) (normal to big dungeon.
Some raiders and some synth will drop their weapons and beg for their life if the health is low enough. Spare enough of them and you will receive letter from either : the minuteman ; the brotherhood or the railroad to thank you for sending more recruit their way. Two or three will regularly visit town.

Relationship

Can get a dog as a perm. Companion (can choose race?) (Can breed you dog and gitf puppy to the settlement?)
Npc relationship possible bonus :
- Discount (from marchant)
- Recipe
- Special cut scene
- (Sometime) help on the farm

• (Sometime) help to defend the farm

Some npc love receving gift other will be inconfortable with it. But after (wedding?) no adverse reaction to receive gift.

• 2 gift a week
  
• 1 gift a month (After the first gift wil react more and more incomfortable, will start to lower relationship)
  

MAX : 2 gift a week
Might meet some settler in the edge of the town, scavenging like you.
Cause of relationship decay :

• Unlike gift
  
• (for some) offer to many gift
  
• 1 month with no interraction
  
• Answer choice
  
• Attacking townie (unkillable)
  
• Question choice
  

There’s a vault “near” the settlement. Gain their trust by doing quest (# depend on race of the player). Once they trust you and when you become mayor, they will become full allied and allow circulation between their vault and the settlement.
Romanceable npc
- # Ghoul

• Robot (Synth and miste handy (miss nanny)

• Super mutant

• Settler

- 1 Traveling npc
Special romance
- Mysterious stranger (need 10 Luck and insert condition)
Will randomly pop out of your house and pop back in. Will tell you about a lone wanderer, courrier or vault survivor he helped. Will come to your help in combat with baby in hand (if kid in the game)

• intelligent deathclaw (insert conditions)

Rival ? Date ?
If there’s kid in the game
Player will be able to have two kids. (Hatchling deathclaw will count as one if in a relationship with Deathclaw).
If player or spouse can’t have a kid (Super mutant ; ghoul ; Synth); player will get a quest about a raider camp in town. Discover all prisoner are dead except one human baby hidden by the body of his dead mother.
Quest reward : Congradulation you are a parent :D
If player can have kid; if spouse is a women, player will have to catter to their wife food craving (nothing with rare item) or face a penality in the relationship. If player is a women ; Malus in health, energy, slower deplacement and carrying capacity decrease the more and more the pregnancy advance. New choice of answer : pissed as fuck and hormonal. Spouse will insist to become a companion until end of pregnancy
Kid will go to school (town upgrade) for three day, help on the farm for three other and have a free day.

Stats

Strenght : carrying capacity (?) ; combat ; energy ; health ; defense
Perception : detect ennemy ; scavenging ; npc interraction
Endurence : health ; energy ; resistance
Charisma : batter ; persuasion ; Npc weariness ; # limit of resident npc in settlement
Intelligence : crafting farm upgrade (fertilizer ; spinkler) ; used weapon fixing
Agility : sneak ; weapon ; defense
Luck : loot quality ; gambling (?) ; crit chance (max starting points : 5)

Skill

Tree skill style possibility : Path of exile ; Outer world
Farming: Tilling - Watering
Fight: Heavy weapons- Light weapons- Melee
Defence : Dodge - Block
Stealth: Sneak- Lockpick - Hack
Endurance : Poison resistance - Radiation resistance - Thirst resistance
Persuasion: Batter - Intimidation - Persuation (?)
Scavenging : Deconstruct - Descerning eyes
Thinkering : Crafting - Engineering - Medecine
(Upgrade skill to upgrade stat? Once you upgrade a skill enough, it allow you to upgrade the stat?)

Quest :
Attempt murder on the player by the mayor once town upgrade and settler relationship high enough. Scare that they would lose their place to you to engage mercenary or try to poison you to keep their place. Force the mercenary to tell you who paid them or find a note on one of them or talk to the mayor after the attack (will be surprise to see you alive). You can :
- Bring him to justice and let the settler decide of his fate. (Will be possible to talk to him in prison)
- Execute him (will have to prove to the settler that this was auto-defense. Lose some relationship with settler)

• Let him life (will leave town. Grateful to be alive but bitter to have lose his title)

Result : Become mayor next election!
Raides have created a camp close to the settlement. Remove them. Player will find two npc in cage. You can :

• Let them there

-Help them out
-Kill them inside the cage
Result :

• They die
  
• Will eventually die of thirsth
  
• Will come to the town and become settlers
  

You’ve find a mister handy (or miss nanny) in the town. Why not fix them?
Result : They will propose you to help you on the farm. Accept and they’ll start working the day after. Refuse and they’ll becom settler. (Possibility to make them synth when relationship high enough?)

Find a sorry scene : deadraiders; a dead deathclaw; a nest with two crushed egg a one intact egg. You can :

• Sell the egg
  
• Eat the egg
  

-Hatch the egg
Result :

• Money
  
• Bost in one stat? Level upgrade?
  
• Get a baby deathclaw. Will be able to switch with you dog as perm companion. (If romanced the deathclaw, you spouse will leave with the hachtling for a season. When back the hatchling statut will change from animal to children and gain dialogue)
  

The river close to your house is drying. Discover the reason. The river goes into a cavern and to a lake.
Result : new fish
There’s a thirsthy and hungry homeless man at the edge of the settlement. You can :
-Give him food and water for a week
-Let him there
-kill him
Result :
-They get back on their feet and eventually open an inn in town. Will sometime offer you free drink an talk to you about stranger he hepled by following your exemple.
-They will slowly die an talk with more and more difficulty. (Which led to kill him)
-Burry him and make a small tomb or let him root there. Will get eaten by wild animal.

Guiding an injured npc to the town
Result :??

The settlement don’t have enough food for the winter and ask for your help. You can :

• Refuse
  
• Accept
  

Result :

• -- relationship with settler and some settler will die
  
• ++ reward if accept
  

Help to defend the settlement (before settlement defense upgrande)
Result :??

The scientist of the vault ## think they can help you rediscover old world crop see.
Result : new seeds :D

End game quest :
The vault now trust you enough to tell you about the G.E.C.K.S. The received one that ended up defective and never received the second. They want you to go to the vault building in the center of the town and see if you can find any information about it. Vault tower will be the most difficult dungeon in the game. Beat it to find that the G.E.C.K.S was sent to a second vault that was either unfinished or an experimentation. Go the the vault ## to discover that the G.E.C.K.S had taken some damage from bad condition and bad storage. Get all the item to fix it and either fix it yourself (no money cost) or ask to a vault scientist to fix it (+++ money cost)
Result : The map surrounding your house, the vault and the town will become more and more green with beautiful tree (Process will take ### day or month or years)

I'm wondering if anyone who compared these two brands could share what they ended up doing. I'm likely looking at the 14AX Trainer (it isn't much more than the Sport) vs. the Endless X500. I'm far from a high level swimmer, and the E500 seems like it would not be worth the premium to me.
I looked at Master Spa, but frankly the dealer did not give me a great impression. Seemed very "used car sales" there. Plus while they say they offer service in my area, my house is a good 2 hours from their show room. The Hydropool and Endless dealers are closer and have decent reviews. I do not see a lot of third-party spa maintenance/repair businesses in my area despite it being a major metro area. The one that came up in my searches is apparently now part of the Hydropool dealer's business.
The Hydropool dealer also sells TidalFit, but it seems like those are a step down. I can go checkout a Bullfrog, I like the idea of the "seat packs", but haven't read much about their swimming jets.
When I read about the Endless, it seems most are talking about the E500, which I don't doubt has a top notch swimming experience. There seems to be less on the X500 which is probably more akin to the Hydropool's swimming system.
I do like that the Hydropool has 4 hydrotherapy seats, but realistically it is jut going to be 2 in there 95% of the time. I like the hydrotherapy jet layout better on the E500 vs the X500, but again, probably not worth the extra price.
FWIW, I am planning build a covered deck around the spa. My understanding is that both of these should be "repairable" for 20 years or so. I don't expect it to run like a Swiss watch for 20 years, but as long as I can repair it, I'm happy. Otherwise I'd need to do some deck surgery to get a new one in there later on.
I've also been told the End to End rolling cover is as good as anything, so I'm going to get one of those for ease of use/storage when in use.
Anyway, appreciate any thoughts people have before I drop the coin on one of these.

Started with 5 colonists and grown into 38 and 1 ghoul
Built an Island fortress, which can not be bombard due to AI can't set down mortal on water :D
Colonists sleeping area
Storage, Kitchen and workshop at the center.
Others area
Royalty, Ideology and Anomaly zone
Also in memories of 17 Lifters, 5 Constructors, 9 light and medium Sweepers, 4 Agrihand and 7 duplicants turned Fabricors
Was intended to get to the Empress title but due to FPS drop and game crashing multiple time, have to end early at Despot.

I'm writing a recap of the beef in my own eyes, based on what has been shown out there.
If anyone sticks around to the end to read all this shit, if you have any comments on what I missed or should be edited, lmk. Also go touch grass.
* October 2023: Cole/Drake dropped First Person Shooter, which sees Drake take shots at Kenny and while he gives props to the Big 3, Cole also claims he’s the best rapper alive. The verse from Cole is a bit disingenuous, calling themselves the Big 3, but referring to himself as Ali and saying "me and Drizzy shits like the Super Bowl," which in turn refers to KDot as the third best in the group. Also calls himself "Muhammed Ali," who is considered the greatest to ever do it. In Jermaine's eyes, its Cole Drake Kenny.
* March 2024: Metro Boomin (rap producer) and Future drop “We Don’t Trust You,” an album which sees them take multiple shots at Drake. One song (Like that) features Kendrick, who is practically inviting him to throw gloves with Drake (and Cole). Responds to the Big 3 claims with "Fuck the Big 3, it's just Big Me." A lot of his verse is going at Drake directly, calling his best work a "Lyt pack," and playing up the MJ Prince comps with the "Prince outlived Mike Jack" bar.
* Two weeks later: Cole drops Might Delete Later, a 12 song EP. The last song (7 minute drill) is his response to Kendrick. However fans were pretty critical of his reply, with some claiming that as a diss it was pretty tame at best. Other fans claimed it was just a warning shot, and that it wasn't meant to be a diss back. A few days later, Cole apologized to Kendrick at Dreamville fest, and backed out of the battle. It is rumored that TDE member Schoolboy Q advised Cole to drop out of the beef, as it was between Kendrick/Drake, and it would get more personal.
* April 2024: 3 weeks after “Like That”, Metro and Future drop another album, “We STILL Don’t Trust You." This album features multiple artists who also throw disses at Drake. ASAP Rocky for dissing his BM, Weeknd calling out "leaks in the operation."
* A day after Metro/Future drop their 2nd album, Drake's “Push Ups” leaks online. This song clapped back at everyone that took shots at him on We don’t trust you, from Kendrick to Rick Ross to ASAP to Metro to Weeknd. In the song, Drake makes fun of Kendrick’s height, shoe size, his label split (supposedly he had to give TDE 50 of his publishing), and had a subtle jab at Kendrick’s wife Whitney.
* Drake also dropped a song that featured an AI voice of Tupac (Kendrick’s idol) and Snoop Dogg. Both west coast legends, but encouraging Kendrick to drop and stop being scared. A controversial track that was polarizing to say the least. Some fans praising its creativity in the rap beef, along with great verses from Drake. Others calling it disrespectful to a rap legend, and a bad precedent to allow AI in music. The Tupac estate ended up sending a C&D to Drake, who later removed the song from all socials.
(Note that here the public perception was for Kendrick to drop a reply, that Drake had come back correct with Push Ups and that if Kendrick was going to start a battle, he shouldn't duck when met with a reply)
* Two weeks after “Push Ups:" Kendrick drops “Euphoria,” which goes in on Drakes parenting ability, legitimacy in the rap game, and so on. A very solid dissection into the man we know as Drake, its a very good diss track that shows Kendrick's lyricism in full display. Also acknowledged that the industry is out to get Drake "wtf is this a 20v1," and told Metro to "shut yo hoe ass up and make some drums."
(He replied to this with an IG story of a merengue remix of that Metro bar, which was hilarious lmao. That and the band peforming outside Magic City in ATL were the funniest parts of the beef)
* A few days after, he followed up with “6:16 in LA" on Instagram. Not really a diss track in my opinion, it felt more like a track that had some warnings to Drake. Dot questions the loyalty of OVO and their legitimacy in the group, planting seeds of doubt in the mind of Drake. The cover this song is a black Maybach glove.
* Drake replied with “Family Matters” later that night, claiming Kendrick as a phony, attention whore, and worst of all a wife beater. Also claims that Dave Free (Kendrick’s manager), is the father of one of his kids. He drops this song with a full on music video, crushing the GKMC van, showing off the jewelry of rap legends like Pharrell and Pac, and so on.
(Honestly some of Drake's best work, and fans see it as such. Honestly some of his best writing since at least IYRTITL. That along with the beats make it a top 10 Drake song in my opinion. Some claim it's the best song in the diss. However, I just don't see it, for the reason I'm mentioning below:)
* Not even half an hour later: Kendrick drops “meet the grahams” which has heavy accusations. The cover of this song contains some of Drake's items. It includes: Ozempic/Adderrall/Zolpidem prescriptions, a receipt for the chains that Drake bought, presumably the ones in the FM video, and a visit card. Song claims Drake is a terrible person, has pedophilic thoughts/tendencies, runs a underground sex ring, and has a daughter that he’s hiding who’s at least 11 yrs old. It is a haunting track that sees Alchemist produce the beat.
(In my opinion, the clear turning point of this battle. For Kendrick to drop the time that it did, took the wind out of the sails that was Family Matters. And did it at a time where EVERYONE was reacting to it in real time. If the track didn't hit as hard as it did, it probably does not have an impact and Drake would have been the winner. Which is why IMO it's the best diss song in the battle. Despite the fact that daughter claims are mere allegations, he hit home on every other point that was made, with the cover art being proof of his verses holding truth. Which can't be said about any other diss in this battle, bar Euphoria.)
* He then dropped “Not Like Us” a day after FM/Meet the Grahams, which doubles down on the pedo claims, and also calls him a colonizer. This song is an instant hit and a West Coast banger, as it is currently the top song on the Billboard 200 as of the time writing this post.
(This song shifted the tide to "Drake is cooked" status. Prior to this song, people were still reeling from the back to back disses and asking that both sides bring receipts to the table. But with Not Like Us being a colossal hit, fans flocked to Kendrick's side. This track felt like the equivalent to a 3rd quarter run from the 2017 Warriors. Once it happens, you're done.)
To make matters worse, Metro also dropped a disstrumental called "BBL Drizzy," encouraging fans to drop a verse on the song, giving the winner 10k and a free Metro beat.
(Also a pivotal moment. If Drake wasn't losing the battle before, he lost the internet game with this combo. Now social media was clowning on him)
* A day later, Drake replied with "The Heart Part 6," a play on the The Heart series that Kendrick Lamar has. This song sees Drake claim that he set Kendrick up with fake information, and planted all this from the start. He also continues to apply pressure on the DV claims, and dispells the accusations made against him about him being a pedo. Also claims that he understands why Kendrick is so pent up, as Drake believes that Kendrick got molested as a child, referencing "Mother I Sober." Fans believe this track was a white flag of sorts, with the bars saying "You could drop a hundred more records, I'll see you later," and:
"That's why these pedophile raps and shit you so obsessed with, it's so excessive They actin' like it's so aggressive, but you just never known affection I don't wanna diss you anymore, this really got me second-guessin."
The last bar seems to question Kendrick's motives in the beef, and that Drake wants no parts in a battle that is really just projecting trauma. Regardless, the song was met with criticism for questionable lyrics and disses in the song. Shortly after, both sides alluded to move on, with Punch/Top of TDE declaring Kendrick the winner, and Drake saying "Good Battle, summer vibes up next," with the beef ending there.

Well hi there! How's the weekend been treating you?
Mine's been alright, but that's not what you're here for is it?
You saw the title on this post and now you're all curious right?
I bet you're wondering what boyfriend stuff includes? Let's start with:

• Getting texted back regularly with an option for phone calls!
  
• Going out on dates with possible holding hands or making out!
  
• I'll make you laugh with all sorts of jokes from the sophisticated cynicism, cutting sarcasm to childish fart jokes I can do it all!
  
• You can get home cooked dinners! And breakfast too if I'm working overnights!
  
• You'll get all sorts of attention and compliments!
  
• I'm emotionally available and completely over my ex's!
  
• Flowers!
  

....and so much more!
Sounds pretty great right?
But who am I?
I'm a nearly middle aged divorced ex stand up comic that's worked himself into full on burnout working in hotels for the last twenty years. It's made into someone that's very empathetic and caring while still being to be cold as fuck when needed.
In my free time I'm kind of a traditional nerdy white guy. Gaming, cartoons (not anime though), science fiction, detective stories, alternative history, sketch comedy, various sitcoms, hiking, cooking and mowing the lawn occupy my off hours. I also tried getting back into writing again, but it's been challenging.
Now it's your turn! PM me and we can start planning the first date!

I (25M) have been talking to this guy (26M), we started speaking on Instagram somehow. He lives in another state, a 4 hour flight away. I booked a trip to meet him only 2 weeks after we started speaking, but the trip wasn’t for another 4 weeks. As you’d likely be aware, many gays are on Grindr and we had both been upfront at the beginning that we had used it in the past. A couple weeks into speaking he said he was deleting the app as he wanted to see where things went with us. I may be crazy for this, but I had found him on the app when we initially started speaking and had saved his profile, I could see that he had actually deleted the profile so I did the same. We talk all day every day, via snap, on the phone, facetime. We have a great connection. The time came where we finally met and spent the best 4 days of my life with him. He was everything I could have hoped for, we had the best time together and he agreed it couldn’t have gone any better. I left wanting to spend more time with him, sad to leave. I get home, tell all my friends and colleagues about him and how well it went. Later that night I had a feeling come over me to check the app and see if his profile was still deleted. It showed back up and he was active. I had never felt so stupid in my entire life. I was so upset, I knew I couldn’t say anything to him that night as I was just truely broken by it. I managed to play it cool with him that night and left it till the next day before confronting him. I told him that I knew he had been on Grindr since I had left and he admitted he had, he wanted to call me and explained that he had people messaging him on instagram that he used to speak to on there and they wouldn’t stop. So he downloaded it to explain to them all that he was speaking to someone and that’s why he ghosted them. Whilst I didn’t entirely believe his story, I told him how it made me feel and that I was so upset by it. I could tell he felt remorseful and thought while I don’t entirely believe his story he might feel too bad to ever do it again. I could see he had since deleted the app and have ever since been occasionally checking to see if it’s back. I have now, two weeks later, found a blank profile that matches his exact location, I just know it’s him. What should I do? I have never ever had anyone make me feel like this, I really like him. He is however so uncommitted, we clearly live in different states, he’s now relocating to a state closer to me for a “fresh start”. We don’t have any plans to see each other again yet, each time I mention it he says he has some things to work out first. I just don’t know what to do, am I wasting my time? He is everything I could ever dream of except for the uncomittment and the trust issues I now have because of his Grindr usage. 😭😭
TL;DR; this guy I have been talking to for 3 months has been using Grindr even after I initially confronted him the first time I have just found him on there again with a blank profile.

Last night me and my husband took our two daughters to a trampoline park. They also sell food there like pizza, wings, beer, snacks etc. After jumping for a while, my girls were thirsty so my husband goes a buys a water for them. The food bar is a couple feet away so he’s eye distance, and when he goes over there’s a semi long line. I’m keeping an eye on my girls but I’m also turning around to my husband to see how fast the line is moving. One of the times I turn to look at him, I see here’s with the cashier already but they’re laughing. So I just keeping staring and they’re both smiling and looking at his ICEE that was slightly overfilled. She goes and grabs him another top and the whole time she’s doing that, he’s just staring at her smiling. She comes back with the top, hands it to him, while also smiling, and my husband says “Thank you, I appreciate it” and walks away. Now… yes I got jealous. I’m currently also 2-3 days away from getting my period and have been feeling very emotional these past few days. (No excuse but my emotional judgment isn’t the best right now) so when he comes over, I tell him that that interaction bothered me and he got upset. He’s telling me I have no reason too and how it’s dumb. This upsets me and we just go into ignoring eachother. We’re there for about two more hours and we’re still not talking. It’s time to go, and we’re still not talking. We get home, I shower the girls, put them to bed, and go over to my room to shower. He’s not in our room so I eventually check my daughter’s room camera, and he’s in there asleep with her. So I spend the night by myself. It’s now morning time and he still isn’t talking to me. Was I in the wrong? Would you also be bothered by the interacting?

As the opener to the first 'episode' of the project, I want this to hook the audience as much as possible. Characterization, prose, and dialogue especially are top concerns. Be as critical as you see fit, and please let me know if you find this interesting, or how you'd like it improved if not.
Blurb:

Amber wanted to forget. To leave her broken life behind. So the world gave her a new one. Stuck in a fallen kingdom, abandoned by its goddess and ravaged by a flower that devours memories, the troubled child faces the denizens’ deadly mix of grief and desperation, all centered around the sliver of holy magic now stuck inside her. Begrudgingly guided by Kindle, a loyal but cynical servant of the goddess, she must journey through the shattered valley in search of a way home, all while evading the clutches of theives and knights alike. Can she find the hope she once knew, or will this broken world start to feel like home?

Link to story: https://docs.google.com/document/d/13Qk8qSW4szad7cYH2AuwBfV-j4xNQS43wB7LDpyMe98/edit?usp=sharing

I ACCEPT EITHER CASH APP OR PAYPAL FF ONLY. PERIOD
007 Spectre HD (MA): $1.75
13 Hours: Secret Soldiers of Benghazi HD (MA): $2
50 Shades of Grey HD (MA): $1
Amazing Spider-man (2012) HD (MA): $3
Anchorman 2: Legend Continues HD (paramount): $2
Ancient Magus’ Bride pt. 1 (funimation): $7
Black Panther ^{Wakanda Forever} HD (MA): $3.50
Bourne Legacy HD (MA): $1.75
Cpt. America; First Avenger HD (MA): $3.50
Cinderella (2015) HD (MA): $2
The Commuter HD (Movieredeem): $3
Contraband HD (iTunes): $1.50
Deadpool HD (MA): $2
Divergent HD (MA): $2
Doctor Strange HD (MA): $3.50
Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness HD (MA): $3.50
Epic HD (MA): $2
Exorcist: Believer 4K (MA): $2
Expendables 3 HD (movieredeem.com): $3.50
The Fault in Our Stars HD (MA): $3
Frozen HD (MA): $3
Ghostbusters Afterlife 4K (MA): $3
Hacksaw Ridge HD (movieredeem): $3.50
The Hate U Give HD (MA): $3
How to Train Your Dragon 2 HD (MA): $3
Hunger Games HD (movieredeem.com): $2
Inside Out HD (MA): $2.50
Into the Woods (Disney) HD (MA): $2
Iron Man HD (MA): $3.50
Jurassic World (2015) HD (MA): $3.50
Last Witch Hunter HD (MA): $3
Lion King (2019) HD (MA): $3
Lisa Frankenstein HD (MA): $4
Little Mermaid (animated) HD (MA): $3
Logan HD (MA): $3
Lone Survivor HD (MA): $3
Maleficent HD (MA): $3
Mama Mia! Here We Go Again HD (MA): $2
Moana HD (MA): $3
Oppenheimer 4K (MA): $5
Pete’s Dragon HD (MA): $3.50
Planes HD (MA): $2
Prometheus HD (MA): $2.50
Resident Evil Retribution HD (MA): $2
Scream! 3 HD (MA): $2
Secret Life of Pets HD (MA): $2
Sicario HD (movieredeem.com): $3
Spider-Man Far From Home HD (MA): $3
Spider-Man Homecoming HD (MA): $3
Star Trek: into Darkness HD (paramount): $3
Star Wars Last Jedi HD (MA): $3.50
Super Mario Bros. HD (MA): $3
Transformers Last Knight HD (MA): $3
Transformers: Rise of the Beasts 4K (paramount): $3
Trolls (2016) HD (MA): $2
Uncharted HD (MA): $2
X-men- Apocalypse HD (MA): $2
Thanks for looking and God bless y’all!

Hello guys,
Found out last week I’m gonna become a dad. I’m thrilled and super happy, but after a week of positivity, I need to take care of some things.
I’m 25 my wife to be is 24.
My take home is €2600 a month (this is base pay, I’m a Sales Manager, and I do get good commission, but some months can be without commission, so let’s just use that for calculation. Commission can grant me up to almost €4000). I work in Telecommunication industry.
My rent is €640 except when it’s a 5 week month, it’s €800.
-rent 640
-electricity 50-70 (winter)
-loan 100 (will be paid of in 2 months)
-humm 80 (will be paid off in 5 months)
-subscriptions 100
-broadband and phones 100 (will be switched to my employer and dropped to 50)
I need to spend around €1000 for a wedding (small wedding just couple of people).
I don’t think we’ll send a kid to creche as I personally don’t have a driving license, and closest creche now taking is 20km away, while she does have a driving license, I have no place to park a car, and car payment + Parking permit + insurance would add too much to our bills right now, and we live in a town center.
If my S/O decides to go back to work, my mother will visit to help with the child, and her aunt and cousins are in Ireland so they offered help also.
How much is: food for the child nappies Other things I need to worry about?
I will get clothes from my brothers children and a stroller.
I am planning of availing free college courses on Springboard+ and eCollege, particulary Business courses so I can get a better paying job. I actually do have BA degree in Electrical engineering but I don’t want to work in that branch.
I have free healthcare through my work.
My S/O is currently working, she doesn’t pay any bills. I just want to use my income, we are saving her money.
P.S I can’t figure out if I get anything from the government so I’m only calculating with my income.

I was diagnosed with hormone-positive breast cancer in October 2022, and I'm having a hysterectomy this Thursday as part of treatment for that cancer. I've known for a while this is something I would be doing, but all of the sudden things are moving very quickly, and I am not even a little bit prepared. I think I've been in denial. I had a lumpectomy in November 2022. The recovery was easy peasy until I got an infection. I've been thinking the recovery for this surgery would be even easier because it's laparoscopic, but I finally started doing some research after my pre-op appointments on Friday and they told me that I can't drive for two weeks. That was my first clue that I'm not really sure what the heck is going to happen to my body and what the recovery will be like.
I was planning on taking the long weekend off and doing a few half-days, but I was planning to be back to work full-time (which will include making up some of the work I missed) by the one-week mark. I work from home, but my hours are long right now and my job is pretty stressful. My doctor wants a full week off, no work at all, and then wants me to play it by ear after that. Will I really need that much time?
My adult daughter lives with me, but she works nights. My mom is coming and will stay until Sunday. Will I still need someone with me all of the time three days out?
I flooded my brain with information when I was first diagnosed with cancer. I'm completely overwhelmed by the idea of another surgery, so I decided to let Jesus take the wheel and just show up this time. That approach doesn't really work for me in general, so I'm not sure why I thought it would work now. I know this question has probably been asked and answered a hundred times. I'm sorry. I'm hoping some of y'all can hold my hand here and tell me what I'm in for. Dr. Google says everything from "you'll be fine after two days" to "you need six weeks to recover." I've found personal experiences and advice to be a lot more helpful than Dr. Google since I've been diagnosed, and I wasn't with it enough to ask the right questions at my pre-op. I kind of froze when they said I can't drive for two weeks and never recovered.

Im a first time mom and I have a 2 week old and at the hospital I was giving her similac ready to feed bottles, after coming home I switched to kendamil infant goat formula but my baby is struggling with gas, constipation, and acid reflux so I don’t know if it’s from the formula? I also tried giving her kendamil (comfort) formula because she was having a really rough day with gas and constipation - it’s for colic and constipation but the container says you can’t feed them limited amounts for every age group and it’s 5 feed per 24 hours. I don’t know what to do to help her not feel so uncomfortable and I don’t know what to feed her at this point. I heard kendamil was the best formula and I wanted something that had good ingredients I heard European brands are the best and cleanest…any advice?

I (26M) have been talking to this guy (26M), we started speaking on Instagram somehow. He lives in another state, a 4 hour flight away. I booked a trip to meet him only 2 weeks after we started speaking, but the trip wasn’t for another 4 weeks. As you’d likely be aware, many gays are on Grindr and we had both been upfront at the beginning that we had used it in the past. A couple weeks into speaking he said he was deleting the app as he wanted to see where things went with us. I may be crazy for this, but I had found him on the app when we initially started speaking and had saved his profile, I could see that he had actually deleted the profile so I did the same. We talk all day every day, via snap, on the phone, facetime. We have a great connection. The time came where we finally met and spent the best 4 days of my life with him. He was everything I could have hoped for, we had the best time together and he agreed it couldn’t have gone any better. I left wanting to spend more time with him, sad to leave. I get home, tell all my friends and colleagues about him and how well it went. Later that night I had a feeling come over me to check the app and see if his profile was still deleted. It showed back up and he was active. I had never felt so stupid in my entire life. I was so upset, I knew I couldn’t say anything to him that night as I was just truely broken by it. I managed to play it cool with him that night and left it till the next day before confronting him. I told him that I knew he had been on Grindr since I had left and he admitted he had, he wanted to call me and explained that he had people messaging him on instagram that he used to speak to on there and they wouldn’t stop. So he downloaded it to explain to them all that he was speaking to someone and that’s why he ghosted them. Whilst I didn’t entirely believe his story, I told him how it made me feel and that I was so upset by it. I could tell he felt remorseful and thought while I don’t entirely believe his story he might feel too bad to ever do it again. I could see he had since deleted the app and have ever since been occasionally checking to see if it’s back. I have now, two weeks later, found a blank profile that matches his exact location, I just know it’s him. What should I do? I have never ever had anyone make me feel like this, I really like him. He is however so uncommitted, we clearly live in different states, he’s now relocating to a state closer to me for a “fresh start”. We don’t have any plans to see each other again yet, each time I mention it he says he has some things to work out first. I just don’t know what to do, am I wasting my time? He is everything I could ever dream of except for the uncomittment and the trust issues I now have because of his Grindr usage. 😭😭
TL;DR; this guy I have been talking to for 3 months has been using Grindr even after I initially confronted him the first time I have just found him on there again with a blank profile.

hello. ill try to keep this to relevant information but i think youll all understand when i say i tend to give more information than needed. im posting this half for advice in general and half because im curious as to if anyone else has made a big move like this and how it impacted your functioning concerning your autism.
ive been going through a lot of changes recently and it has been taking a huge toll on my mental health. to keep things easy to keep track of, ill provide an order of events to summarize:

• get married at 20 years old, move from my east side home state to a western state bc my new husband is in military
  
• move 8 hours north after 2 years in western state
  
• really like it in new state. live here for 2 more years before changes start happening. entire time im unemployed. im a homemaker, so i do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc while husband works. mental health is constantly up and down, but mostly up. i can recover when im down and i get better quickly. im happy, husband’s happy. we’re poor but ok with it bc we’re happy
  
• start attending therapy in july 2023. get on antidepressants/anti anxiety med. work through past hangups. going well, i love my therapist
  
• october 2023, husband is medically retired. he wants to take a break before finding a job, i agree that he deserves a break after working so hard to the point he has multiple medical problems. i start looking for a job.
  

-november 2023, i start my new job. my job is very client-facing, and i have a lot of anxiety. im stressed
-december, im depressed a lot. house chores are slipping through the cracks. husband agreed to take on my duties but doesnt maintain the apartment to the level im used to, so i have a lot of anxiety about being home. he forgets things a lot due to a mix of adhd and a semi-recent tbi that never healed to the state his brain was before. my therapist wants to get me an autism evaluation. my meds are increased to the maximum dose possible

• february 2024, due to increasing depression and suicidal ideation, i relapse in self harm and make a plan for suicide. i have a complete breakdown. my therapist has my husband take me to a psych ward. they dont admit me because they (rightfully) feel im no longer a danger to myself and that admitting me into a strange environment with none of my familiar deescalation comforts would cause more harm than good mentally. i get a formal autism evaluation. i decide then that i want to move back to my home state as soon as physically possible. my therapist says she doesnt think long term employment is possible for me.
  
• march, my results come back. im officially diagnosed at age 24 with level 2 autism, adhd, social anxiety disorder, generalized anxiety disorder with panic attacks, and major depressive disorder (moderate, recurrent episodes). my therapist tells me shes changing jobs and will be gone by the end of the month. i take all this in. work keeps getting harder and harder to do.
  

-early may, the suicidal ideation gets so bad its honestly incredibly scary. i almost take my happy ass to the psych ward myself on multiple occasions. every time i have to go into work i think of death. i spontaneously quit on a random tuesday morning after multiple meltdowns in the previous days. i still dont have another therapist yet.
which brings us to now. im absolutely in burnout, still struggling with suicidal ideation and executive functioning. self care is out the window. my husband is starting a new job that will pay much more than i was getting. lease is up august 1st. plan is to move into my in laws house until steady employment for my husband is reached and we can financially find a place of our own again. i have 5 years of stuff to somehow sort through and condense so we can drag it back across the country.
but now that i have a lot more headspace free, i keep thinking about how happy we were here before all this started. how nice our apartment was and how i love the mountains and all the small businesses we grew to frequent all the time, and how before all this happened i was dead set on just living here permanently. im so torn because all i wanted in my darkest moments was to go back to the quiet countryside my family lives in in my home state, and i do think a quieter area would help. sometimes my husband and i lean over the cricket containers at pet stores to listen to them chirp because summer nights in the south are all crickets and frogs croaking and train horns, and we have none of that here. the southern countryside has an air of peace i have yet to match anywhere else.
im just so lost and scrambling to get my feet under me again. now that my biggest stressor is out of the picture i feel guilty that i dont have my shit together yet. im also really curious as to what the autistic side of me would benefit most from. has anyone had experience with this kind of location change impacting their functioning concerning their autism?
thanks.

Last night me and my husband took our two daughters to a trampoline park. They also sell food there like pizza, wings, beer, snacks etc. After jumping for a while, my girls were thirsty so my husband goes a buys a water for them. The food bar is a couple feet away so he’s eye distance, and when he goes over there’s a semi long line. I’m keeping an eye on my girls but I’m also turning around to my husband to see how fast the line is moving. One of the times I turn to look at him, I see here’s with the cashier already but they’re laughing. So I just keeping staring and they’re both smiling and looking at his ICEE that was slightly overfilled. She goes and grabs him another top and the whole time she’s doing that, he’s just staring at her smiling. She comes back with the top, hands it to him, while also smiling, and my husband says “Thank you, I appreciate it” and walks away. Now… yes I got jealous. I’m currently also 2-3 days away from getting my period and have been feeling very emotional these past few days. (No excuse but my emotional judgment isn’t the best right now) so when he comes over, I tell him that that interaction bothered me and he got upset. He’s telling me I have no reason too and how it’s dumb. This upsets me and we just go into ignoring eachother. We’re there for about two more hours and we’re still not talking. It’s time to go, and we’re still not talking. We get home, I shower the girls, put them to bed, and go over to my room to shower. He’s not in our room so I eventually check my daughter’s room camera, and he’s in there asleep with her. So I spend the night by myself. It’s now morning time and he still isn’t talking to me. Was I in the wrong? Would you also be bothered by the interacting?

Hi all,
I (20F) have been in a choir for a couple of years now. I joined when I was 18 years old, and I became friends with this guy almost immediately. I quite quickly found out that one of the first friends I made there had a crush on me. The first problem: he was 35, whereas I was 18. He has become one of my closest friends over the last 2 years. All of my friends are way older than I am, so this isn't that uncalled for in my life. He didn't act on anything and it was just a given that he liked me/was interested.
Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago; we were cycling back home together after having drinks with our choir, after which we almost always keep talking to each other for at least an hour. This time, however, we had a bit more to drink and ended up kissing. We didn't talk about it the next time we saw each other, but it was like nothing happened. We have kissed a couple of times since, and it was nice but after that, we did talk about it, and we both don't want anything more.
The second "problem": he has an open relationship. I am not one to judge; it works for them and I am happy for them that it does, but I don't want to be the other woman in an open relationship. I don't want anything to do with that, making my decision of not wanting anything more even more clear (next to the fact of him being 17 years older, of course...). We've had a lot of conversations about how his relationship works, and it has always come down to communication. He tells his girlfriend when he does anything with another person: sex, kissing, a date, anything. It's considered to be cheating when he does not tell her about another person in his life.
Last week, I was at his place with some other friends from the choir. His girlfriend was there as well. I know her, and we are both awkward people so it's not like we don't like each other, but we also don't get along great. However, this time it wasn't more awkward, which is where it gets weird. If she knew about her boyfriend kissing a 20-yo, I feel like she should be more awkward around me and also around him and me together. But she wasn't, which makes me think that he did not tell her, breaking the very foundation his relationship is based on. I don't feel weird about kissing him, we are still good friends and it is nothing more for me, but this makes me feel really weird. Why would he keep it a secret? If he's embarrassed, then why would he kiss me again?
My question: should I confront him? I don't want to scare him off by saying that he's (in his own previous words) cheating on his girlfriend with me because he didn't tell her, but I also feel really werd in this situation.
Sorry for the long post, I feel like this needed a bit more detail.

Apologies in advance for any spelling errors emotions are running high as I’m writing this.
Edit: added paragraphs
For context this happened a few days ago.
I, M 24 have been in a relationship with my boyfriend who I’ll call Red (Not his real name), M 23 for around 4 years now after we met at our mutual friends house. We had hit it off after a few drinks and I ended the night with his number and 3 months later we started chatting exclusively and 6 months later we started dating. (At this point in time we hadn’t met each other’s families and he hadn’t mentioned them during the whole 9 month period.) When we first started dating Ill admit I was head over heels and wanted him to meet my family (I have a rather large family) right away and was quite pushy about them meeting although we hadn’t been dating for 5 months at that point. But he talked me out of it saying I was “Moving too fast.” I dont know if that was a red flag or not but I don’t think it was.
Anyways, around 1.5-2 years ago I learned that Red had a little brother 23 M (they are twins, Red was just born first by a little over 5 hours.) which came as a shock to me because during our entire relationship Red had never mentioned his brother and was every adamant that not only did he and his family weren’t close but that he had cut them all off. I which was a major red flag for me because for starters I had only met his brother because I had a package delivered to his house and need to pick it up. I have a key to his house but I have a habit of knocking because I OCD. So imagine my shock when the door is opened by not Red but someone who looked suspiciously like him who immediately asked me who I was. When I told him I was asking for Red (MY boyfriend) he said he wasn’t home and that he was at the store and he’ll tell him that someone came to the door to ask for him. At which I told him that I was his boyfriend and that I needed to pick up a package.
He looked a little suspicious but let me in regardless and we sat in the living room and talked till red came home. I was really curious about who these mystery person was and for a while thought Red was cheating on me until his brother who I’ll call Jane (Not his real name) informed me that he was reds twin brother. I was in shock because for two years Red had told me that he had not relationship with any of his family and here’s his twin brother in his house. (I’ve been to his house before and at not pint in time did he ever have any roommates or other people living in his apartment. So it was shocking and I felt really betrayed because at that point he had already met my family.)
Me and Jane made more small talk till Red came home 20 something minutes later and was shocked to see both me and Jane sitting on the couch. I was gonna stay for longer after red came home but the moment I saw his face I just couldn’t and ended up leaving shortly after. I couldn’t stop thinking about how he never told me he had a brother and later that night at like 8 pm I texted him and asked him why he never told me he had a brother nonetheless a TWIN brother and why he lied about cutting off all his family. He responded 2 hours later at 10 and asked me to call him which I did and I he told me that the reason he never told me about Jane was because although he actually didn’t cut all his family off but those he did still talk too he didn’t tell other people about too which I asked why?
Only to be met with him avoiding the question and trying to steer the conversation away from his family and more to about my day which was the next red flag. We got into an argument and he walked away from the phone but didn’t hang up so I did and I ended up blocking him for 2 days before he showed up at my door apologizing up and down and swearing to never keep a secret from me again which I had believed. For the next 2 years that wasn’t the last I’d seen of Jane and I learned that Red and Jane were extremely close. (Idk if it’s a twin thing but they are just really close) But at multiple points in our relationship I thought they’ve been too close if that’s even possible. For example when we had planned an anniversary trip together and went we started discussing locations he wouldn’t agree to certain places because “Jane wouldn’t be comfortable with him going there.” Or “Jane wouldn’t like that.”
When I asked why it mattered what jane liked because it’s not like he was going, he said something along the lines of. “Just let it go.” Or would just ignore me till I started talking about a different place which threw off my flow for the rest of the planning. Or when he pushed back out trip for almost a month because he didn’t want to leave Jane alone. (Jane is autistic and possibly physically disabled which I swear is important but he’s not low functioning and even lives in his own with a job.) When I brought this up Red glared at me without saying anything but let it go after a while. This is only one example of their relationship coming between things we had planned but there are plenty more examples of them being physically close as well. (Cuddling togethe sitting extremely close to each other, Jane following Red around to the point something’s they walk in sync, feeding one another,hugging for extended periods of time, playing with each other’s hands/hair ext.)
I swear if they didn’t look so similar you’d think they were the ones dating. I won’t lie I’ve found myself being jealous/ disgusted at the way they treat each other but I had pushed it aside because I convinced myself that Red was just looking out for Jane. (Before you question that like I said while Jane isn’t behind mentally or anything you can see he struggles with a lot things like standing for long periods of time and often goes non verbal or only makes illegible noise that Red understands.) So I truly pushed my thoughts aside because I didn’t want to be seen as an overprotective or anything and it’s not like I have anything against Jane or anything but sometimes it’s just really fucking weird. But recently I’ve reached my limit when I went to Reds apartment and when I opened the door I saw janes phone on the counter. Which is really at weird because at the end of the day theyre family and that’s not weird but what was weird was that Jane nor Red were anywhere to be found.
I had walked around the apartment for a while till I got Reds bedroom and saw both of them laying in bed together (They weren’t naked or anything but they were like laying ontop on one another, like cuddling skin to skin whilst clothed from what I could see.) When I walked in a saw them next to each other all the memories of the way they had acted with eachother rushed into my head and I just assumed the worst and started screaming and cursing which got Reds attention and he immediately sat up and started screaming back at me asking me what I was scream about and we started a screaming match and I told him off about his weird behaviour with Jane and how brothers don’t act that way with each other until they are getting with eachother and he froze and just started at me and before he could say anything else I left his apartment and drove back home. (If jane had said anything I didn’t hear it over the screaming but idk)
I ended up telling my parents and they said that Im not overreacting but that something in there childhood definitely caused them to be so touchy but don’t believe that and I don’t know who the tell this to or what to do because I’m well aware that siblings don’t act that way and that something has to be going on but I don’t know how to talk to Red about it. I know my parents said otherwise but I can’t help but think im AH because I don’t let red explain. I don’t think I should bring this up to anyone close friends because of bias so I’m asking Reddit. What do I do???

Hello!
I'm from Philippines. Currently unemployed and looking for someone to hire me.

• 11 years in BPO/Call Center industry
• The last company I worked with I was a Data Entry, Data Mining, Web Research specialist.
• I have experience in training agents since I was a SME (Subject Matter Expert) for a tech account.
• I have experience in handling 16 email/chat agents.
• I have experience in Real Estate, mainly in Property inspection and assessment.
• High proficiency in Google Docs, Spreadsheets, Microsoft Suite, Slack, Asana, Trello, Slack, Salesforce, Zendesk, Canva
• I have experience as a SMM (Social Media Manager) for facebook. I do create contents (Graphics and Carousel--I can send portfolio for this if needed)
• I can work 40+ hours and I have no problem any time of the day.
• I have a desktop computer with high speed internet connection.
• I also have a laptop and a prepaid wifi just in case we lost internet connection.

I may not have experience in other field, but I am eager to learn and I am a fast learner. I can multitask, can work under pressure and have high attention to detail. If you're looking for someone lively, cheerful and fun to work with send me a DM.
I am open for any interviews, you can also DM me for my portfolio and resume.
Thanks.

These past 2 years have been brutal, it's been L after L with no break.
I feel like a mouse in a maze that every time it approaches the exit is dragged back to the start by a hand from the sky.
It doesn't matter how much I try, the outcome is always the worst possible one.
I've gone from agnostic to full on believer because I don't think someone can be this unlucky without some almighty being involved in it.
I now fully believe God exists and either:

1. He is actively punishing me
2. He has left me stranded

   
Will keep it short since I know you hoes like reading this kind of shit:
 
Around 2 years ago I was leasing a horse, and giving it my all, I was earning an entry-level salary in a comfy remote work living with my parents. Keeping the horse was costing me pretty much my full salary. I didn't go out and did anything except lifting, running, riding and working.
For almost a year I was the happiest I had ever been, I literally jumped out of bed excited to live the day, I would work 8-4, lift in my home gym and go visit my horse, either riding, or just being with him, during the time I had him I didn't go a single day without seeing him.
Of course living like this means that I don't have the most social life or friends circle, but I didn't care since every hour of my life was busy.
My plan for the year was training and competing and then in September changing jobs and buying the horse, but in July the horse was injured, I didn't get the best veterinary advice and didn't know what to do, I was being drained for a horse I couldn't even ride or enjoy, after all those months of hard work and discipline, for some reason the owner got mad, and petty sold him behind my back.
During this time, my highschool best friend started regaining contact and started meeting with me and his gf, they gave me a lot of support during those weeks, against all odds, I nailed an interview for a high-paying job that would've allowed me to buy the horse and maintain it comfortably.
I was still too hurt from what had happened, so I just chilled for a few months, saving money, and hanging out with my friend and his gf, and lifting and running, I was at my physical peak, I was lifting heavier than ever, running faster and longer, I was optimistic for the future, I just needed time to heal and I had the means to do so, social life, earning money and physical activity.
 
Fast forward to December and I receive a cryptic message from my friend's GF saying that she wasn't going to be here for my birthday (we met the previous day) because my dumbass friend just broke up with her.
That basically destroyed my little social life since they were living in the city, and my friend disappeared to be with his new GF.
I tried to comfort her and be there for her (wasn't attracted and even if I were it wouldn't be right to take advantage of the situation).
The months of just working and lifting allowed me to save enough to start looking to buy my own horse, I was still hurting from the whole situation, and being alone, but still I was just lifting heavy, running, walking my dog, keeping myself busy.
In February after trying and vetting some horses, I found one that seemed promising. I bought a very expensive veterinary exam, and he passed it, allegedly, I buy the horse.
 
Long story short, barely 3 weeks into ownership, I started noticing pain and weird stuff that shouldn't be happening since I started with very soft work, a few weeks of going through 3 different vets, and basically the horse had a life-long injury that the first vet didn't catch in the exam, and basically it was done for, I was devastated, I tried some solutions but they we're not effective, it was over.
During those months, my friend's ex-gf started coming to visit me, we slept together (no sex), we talked every day, I gave her presents, one would say what I did was love bombing her, but to me It was just being there giving support, for her it turned into a situationship.
I still had the horse, I couldn't selling him while he was untrained, and I still had a bit of faith in the vet's advice, and then, suddenly, my knee started hurting, I was lucky that in my new job I had private insurance, so I could immediately go to the orthopedist and do an MRI without the long ass waits of the public health care (up to a year for the MRI), and lo and behold, torn meniscus, it rapidly went from "pain while running" to "some days I can't even fucking walk", I had to stop riding, paying my trainer to ride my horse since I needed to sell him, I had to stop running, I had to stop doing any leg gym exercises.
I didn't want to do the surgery since what I read online was very contradictory.
 
Because shit can always get worse, one day I was alone with my parents (we also live with my brother and grandma), and I notice the vibes being off, I ask “what the fuck is your problem?” and they confess that my father doesn’t like my mom anymore, well, not to get into too much detail but since then I’ve had to endure watching my mom cry, they get into arguments all the time, just awful, thing is I was already so drained from my personal bullshit that after the initial shock, It didn’t pain me too much, they just keep living together, although I hear them arguing from time to time.
During those months my ex-friend’s ex-gf kept catching feelings for me, and my autistic ass couldn't really read the situation so I made it worse. Finally she asked me if I was going serious with her or if she could go on about her life. I said that I didn't see her as my partner, and since then she got a boyfriend and our friendship went to shit.
 
I finally sold the horse, my life got extremely bored.
I decided to do the surgery since I couldn't do any of the things I enjoyed, running, riding, whatever, but I had a trip in January with her so I had to postpone it until then, for those months all I could do was going for walks like an old man, and hit the gym (all chest no legs), I was going kinda hard tho, since I knew that during the months of recovery I would lose a lot of muscle and I wanted to go in my best form, during those months I acquired my best physique ever, for the first time, after years of being constant, I liked how my body looked.
The trip was a mistake, she nagged me every minute of it, I could tell she had only gone because it was already paid for, I had postponed the surgery 2 months just to have a horrible weekend.
 
I did the surgery and the first bad news came, they couldn't fix the broken part of the meniscus, so they took it out, this was the worst possible outcome since it would mean a shorter recovery, but the probabilities of arthritis in the future were higher, off to a good start.
2 weeks later I start going to rehab, during those weeks nobody came to visit me, well, my friend did, only to talk shit on his new coworker (during those months he would only message me to talk shit about coworkers or work), nobody else, not the situationship, not my trainer, nobody.
Speaking about the situationship, after the trip, she stopped messaging me, and even replying at all. I thought, well, there it goes, I’ve lost “not being an unopened chat” privilege.
Some boring months of rehab, working the job that I started to dread, and doing the boring ass knee exercises at home, and then, suddenly a glimmer of hope.
 
I start being treated by a “new” physio, but turns out she had been on sick leave for the same reason as me, she tore her meniscus, during those first 3-4 sessions we talked and talked for the whole hour, she was just perfect, around my age, funny, cute, was active, played sports, had a nice body, she lives like 5 minutes walk from my house.
I immediately fell in love like I had never before in my life, and that’s when it came to me, this was it, every bad thing that happened to me has come to this, to meeting this girl, everything made sense, If I had my surgery earlier I would not have met her because she would be on sick leave. My broken meniscus, my lame horse, every bad thing that had happened to me had led me to her.
So I take my autistic ass, and since I felt like we had something cool going on I ask “Hey, I think you’re very interesting and cute and would like to know you better, can I have your number so we can meet and go for a drink some day?” and she actually did give it to me, I asked for her number instead of her IG because I didn’t want to play any game, I thought she wouldn’t give me her number unless she was interested in me, I was ecstatic.
I start texting her and after refusing to meet a few times (with actually convincing excuses) I ask her “Hey if you don't want its fine I won't bother you anymore, just tell me” and she basically told me that she didn’t want to break the physio-patient barrier, I didn’t understand anything but I didn’t want to make it weirder since she is still treating me so I just accepted it.
 
The thing is, I know where she lives, I have to walk past her apartment whenever I go for a walk, drive to town, I get reminded constantly, moving on is very hard, I really thought she was for me, I thought she was finally the reward for all my suffering, but turns out she's just part of the punishment, I legit had a religious revelation, every single bad thing that had happened, God made it so I went and met her, my knee injury, having to sell the horse, losing my friends, no way it was a coincidence.
 
Now that I know that she is not for me, not even as a friend, I have nothing, the knee recovery is not going well, I was supposed to be a-ok in 6 weeks, It’s been 3 months and I still can’t even go for a walk without swelling and pain, I can’t workout because the knee exercises take a long ass time and I feel like they’re not doing shit, I don’t have friends to meet and take my mind off it, every few weeks I have to see my mum weeping around the house because my father is a piece of shit.
 
And to top it all, I just started having similar pain in the good knee, so there is a possibility that even If I hadn’t done shit, it may be injured too, this shit just doesn’t end, it just fucking never ends.
     
TLDR: Everything that has ever given me pleasure or made me happy has been taken away from me. I went from getting out of bed full of hope and enthusiasm to sleeping through my alarms because the only thing I can do is sit in front of a screen. I’ve been having the worst day of my life every day for the past 2 years, after everything I’ve worked hard for and all the sacrifices I’ve made.