Fun ways to jerk off

First off, I'm not justifying my actions. I've been seeking counseling because I feel guilty feeling this way, and I don't think I should hurt anyone because I got hurt once anymore. I just want to get this off my chest.
I've always been a pushover. At home, and outside the home. I feel I learned it from my father who always dealt with my mother's controlling behavior. (The way my Dad describes his upbringing I learned his father (my grandfather) was the same way too.
Soon that spilled out into my relationships with women. I dated this girl and I still ask myself why she would DM on this dating app I was using. She had a better job than me. She was prettier than me than I was handsome. I never really got it. At first she was nice to me, but overtime she showed her true colors.
Whenever she was ever cruel to me I always noticed a smile and enjoyment that she got from it. She would always belittle me for my shortcomings. The fact I hadn't had as much sex as her for example. I think it has something to do with revenge. She described how she was abused by her step father, and her last ex so maybe she decided to take it out on me I guess. But I still took it because like Father like son right?
Eventually, she broke it off, but not before breaking my heart in the process. I felt pretty isolated. I tried to find a friend that I could confide in, but never did. Some of my friends even made fun of me for "fumbling the bag."
Eventually, I fell into the manosphere. Andrew Tate, Fresh, and Fit. The only people I felt would listen, and not dismiss what I went through. I started to enjoy being sexually aroused watching women on their podcasts being "owned" on those podcasts.
I started to seek out girls on the App again. At first, it was for real relationships, but it evolved into some kink about breaking women's hearts. I honestly didn't care whether we fucked or not. Just the thought of me breaking their hearts turned me on. Lovebombing then ghosting, etc. If I got deeper into the relationships I imagine I would just cheat on them just to fuck them up. The thought of them being heartbroken would turn me on. But it never went any deeper than that.
I think my actions started when I discovered that the girl that broke my heart got married, and has a kid within a year of us disconnecting. I felt inadequate. It took her a year to achieve something nearly impossible for my generation, while It's been 4 years and I still haven't been in a serious relationship. That's when the heartbreaking started I think.
Maybe that's what that girl who did the same to me felt. It was a turn-on. IDK. I'm just trying to seek counseling. This isn't a healthy way to live.

all my life ive been passed around. its put me in a place where i feel like i have to constantly fight this overwhelming feeling of being disposable.
it feels like once people get their use out of me, i can get thrown out, replaced or get put somewhere where im hidden away. i feel like a toy, like that’s all im ever good for. a toy thats not even fun to play with.
i have friends that ive had for years and i know that this isnt true to some degree but even then, sometimes i feel that way.
i think my mind solidified that feeling a long time ago when i got hurt and abandoned by the people i valued most in my life in ways that made me feel desperate and too much at the same time.
its been a cycle i’ve experienced over and over again with friendships, relationships, and even with my own family. each time it happens, it puts me in a place where i feel worse off than i was before.
i know exactly where it came from, i know exactly how i started feeling this way. its layers of trauma that my mind couldnt process and in return i internalized it and now ive just been fighting it this whole time.
i think this is also a major player in my isolation and i feel kind of lost not knowing how to live with myself like this even if i do things to distract myself.
theres also this fear attached to it as well that im also trying to fight off. the fear that ill never figure it out, like im a death spiral of ants fooling itself till exhaustion and then eventually death.
its tiring having to constantly catch my feelings and thoughts. there’s just so much disdain that come from the people that i value most in my life that makes it harder.
seriously ? who picks this shit for themselves? there’s so much shame in the things that im trying to overcome within myself while fixing myself at the same time and people still think its a choice.
its a pain in the ass and honestly i battle with the idea of whether or not this worth it to deal with in the long run. its debilitating and lonely.
i know i have to work on, all of it just hurts.
how the fuck do you keep going feeling like this?

So long story, my younger sister had recently divorced from her marriage. Her way of coping? Well, running off and getting a boobjob. She went from her natural C-cups to getting double D's. When she was showing them off to me in private, I couldn't help but let a few comments slip as I ran my mouth. I asked her, "Do you think this was the RIGHT decision?". Initially my opinion was about how this was a surgery that can't be undone. Then as I continued to run my mouth, well, I started to sound like bitch making fun of her boobs. I don't know why, her boobs just set something off in me. Guess I was self conscious about my sagging tits, then there she was with her new and firm bigger boobs. But I still stand on the ground this may not have been the perfect decision to do after a very recent divorce. Idk, AITHA? Or just a jealous bitch of a sister?

I met you and at an instant, I knew you were different.
I longed to recall this familiarity, I knew you before this reality.
After you hugged me so intensly, I knew I loved your immensely.
I searched to understand my feelings, intense like our energies bouncing off the ceilings.
You gave me a hug that changed my life, a bond realized so thick, it couldn't be cut with a knife.
I needed to understand what it all was, wanted to explore what it all does.
We continued on, but became more distant, but you were always there every instant.
My love increased for you so much, I was so embolden by your touch.
It grew stronger and stronger, as we felt the pull, it kept us anything but dull.
Without even knowing you, I knew I was in love, I wanted to give you everything and above.
I always knew a lot more than I would say, I never wanted to scare you away.
I worried about boundaries that shouldn't be broken, so I tip-toed around the token.
Intensity increased so much, I knew I would fold under your touch.
No matter what, I loved you, for you, and it enough that it was overdue
Ups and downs, we went through a lot, we got to the cusp of giving it a shot.
Then chaos flipped it for us, which I found a little sus.
So many people trying to intervene, what did it mean?
You stopped your replies, I sit here crying as my soul dies.
Not knowing what really happened, I am sure I am to blame on the back end.
However we both have fault in this, we both knew it was going to take time before bliss.
You questioned my goals, when all it was for us to connect our souls.
I didn't worry about the little things, I didn't really worry about if it had strings.
My joy was to bear it with you, if you only knew how much love I have for you.
I wasn't worried about attachments or labels, I just wanted to spend time with you like the fables.
Whether we became friends or eventually lovers, I wanted to be with you, even under the covers.
My intentions were always truthful, but I was guarded because you were so youthful.
I will always love you so much, I would never be able to view anyone else as such.
I am completely out of tears, because somehow I managed to produce my worst fears.
I wish you would talk to me and clear any misinformation, we both know there is some miscommunication.
I hope you can forgive whatever I have done, having you in my life has been so much fun.
I see posts all over the place, some sound so much like us, but its always a different face.
I gave up on the post, because you can text back like we boast.
If you decide to part ways, know I will always love you until the end of days.
I want you to keep my heart and key, because I will no longer need them for me.
Things are going to change in place, I am dropping my social circles at record pace.
Alone is better if not with you, so I will just adapt to make do.
I have so much love for you, I will continue to preach it until I am blue.
I would always love to see it where it goes, but day by day, because nobody knows.
I never wanted to rush, we could have just relaxed in the brush.
I was always honest and loyal, I am not sure why you thought it was going to foil.
I wanted every part of you because of your soul, no manipulation for any part of the whole.
It was all 100% you and with all your flaws, I have them too so let's not pause.
I love you for you, but never got the chance, you have taken up this defensive stance.
I am sorry for what ever it is, but we need to communicate before it turns to fizz.
I would love to spend the rest of our lives together, watching sunset in fields of heather.
I love you more than any thing, I was willing to sacrifice a lot to make us sing.
True love is so rare, lets not waste this connection we share.
No one will ever be you, so what do we do?

Part 1
I didn’t leave the airport.
I’m not sure why some of you suggested this. Where would I go? I can’t even remember where my car is or if my car is. And, more importantly, I need to go home. I have to fly. Don’t you understand? What else would I do? Walk? I can’t walk where I’m going.
But the man in the Patagonia quarter-zip—I managed to slip him for now. I’m not sure what his issue is. Maybe it’s a psychotic break? Maybe he’s been here too long? Was he excited to see me? I don’t know. It didn’t look like excitement in his eyes when he lunged towards me. They were empty. Hollow. He was staring right through me.
I still hear him, though. He’s here. I can hear his humming. But it’s coming over the loudspeaker now, wrapped in a thin blanket of crackling static.
Dum da dum dum dum. Dum da dum da dum dum.
Over and over again. It’’s all I can hear. What if I miss a flight announcement? What if my flight is delayed? His incessant humming is beginning to grate. I feel anxious.
Some of you suggested this might be a dream, but that seems silly. I mean, it’s true that my vision has that bit of fuzziness around the edges and—oddly—I can’t make out any numbers. When I look at the flight information screen I can clearly see the various arrivals and departures, but the flight numbers and times are a blur. Squinting doesn’t help. This is a problem. What gate am I at?
Still, I pinched myself. I splashed water on my face. I looked in the mirror in the bathroom—slipping in after I was sure the man in the Patagonia quarter-zip was gone—and saw myself. I must be awake. I know this isn’t a dream.
So, I’ve taken to wandering around the terminal. Not a soul. Not a soul at all…except for that humming over the loudspeaker. I imagine I’ll see someone eventually. A flight will arrive, the passengers will disembark, and then everything will be back to normal. But I’m still nervous about the status of my own flight.
Nothing a phone call can’t fix.
My airline’s customer service department will get me sorted.
Dial tone.
Dial tone.
Ah, there it is, some smooth, jazzy muzak. Not bad.
Thank you for calling *garbled** Airlines. Your satisfaction is important to us. This call may be monitored for quality control purposes. One moment please.*
“Hello…” Someone answered, their voice is distant, drifting off.
“Um, yes, hi, I’m just trying to check on the status of my flight to—”
“Oh, yes. It’s right on time.”
“Well, wait, I didn’t tell you—oh, you can look it up based on my phone number?”
“Yes, yes. It’s right on time.”
“Could you tell me the exact boarding time?”
“It’s right on time. Don’t you worry. Right. On. Time.”
“Okay, yes, I understand, but what time is that, exactly?”
“Ba dum da dum dum dum. Ba dum da dum de dum.”
It was him.
“Ba dum ba dum ba dum dum. Ba dum dum dum.”
The audio crackled.
“Ba dum dum ba dum ba dum dum.”
My voice wavered, “Stop it, okay? I just need to know my boarding time.”
“Ba dum dum ba dum ba dum dum.”
“Stop it!”
The humming grew louder, more defiant, “BA DUM BA DUM BA DUM DUM DUM.”
“You’re insane. Leave me alone.”
Just as I was about to hang up, I heard the man chuckle. It was a long, dry laugh, followed by a short, low whisper, “Gonna get ya.”
Click.
Shaking. Nervous. But I didn’t have much time to react. A plane had just arrived. Gate 11. Perfect timing. I think this might even be my flight. The rest of the airfield is completely deserted. I don’t even see those little carts that the workers drive around in. Nothing but fractured cement as far as I can see. And the sky’s a little odd today. It’s quite overcast. And orange. Like the sun is illuminating the clouds from behind.
A woman!
I didn’t see where she came from, but there she was, standing behind the desk by Gate 11, diligently tapping away at a screen.
I ran up to her just as the humming resumed over the loudspeaker. “Excuse me, is this the flight to--?”
“Home?” She smiled at me with a perfectly crisp row of veneers. “Of course. You’re right on time. Please, this way.” She gestured to the open vestibule door.
Oddly enough, she followed me through the door, humming slowly as we walked along the boarding bridge. It was long. The red and gold patterned rug seemed to stretch on forever. Why were there so many turns? At various points, I looked back over my shoulder and was greeted by the attendant’s smiling visage.
“This way, please. You’re right on time.” She was walking quickly, gesturing out in front of us, down the winding bridge.
I felt queasy walking, as though the passageway was twisting and stretching beneath my feet. At one point, we turned yet another corner onto a long straightaway. At the end, I could finally see the thick airplane door. Despite seeming so far away, we appeared to close the gap in a matter of steps.
The attendant quickly ushered me inside, “Enjoy your flight. You’re right on time. You’ll be home soon.”
I walked into an empty plane. Completely deserted. I opened my mouth, turning to address the woman, but she had already closed the door. I shrugged. Well, I made it, didn’t I? Might as well sit down and wait for takeoff. So I walked a few aisles back and made my self comfortable near a window seat. I leaned down to look outside. The sky still looked strange, like the clouds were about to burst into an inferno. And it was oddly quiet, all I could hear was the steady hissing of the air jets above each seat.
I leaned back, finally able to relax. But just as I was putting my headphones in I heard it. From maybe a few rows behind me.
Ba dum ba dum ba dum. Ba da dum ba da dum dum.
The humming.
The man in the Patagonia quarter-zip.
He was here too.
I felt the plane jerk back, pulling away from the terminal.
Ba dum ba dum ba dum. Ba da dum ba da dum de dum dum.
I just want to go home.
Can you help me get there?

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6
Okay, back to round 1 to betray Alice. Also changed flair to Old Man Junpei.
Cyan -> Betray -> Red -> Ally (Lock 8)
Hopefully this is the last time I have to see the fucking rabbit
Of fucking course Alice chooses ally this time
Gonna name my band Packing Twelve Inches
Is this thing with the keyboard the bomb code inputter
Sigma stop counting down every door challenge (impossible)
I allied, not because I trust Phi (I don’t) but because I assume that betraying will get me a game over.
PHI YOU BITCH
Bro. Phi is remembering a timeline that I haven’t even done yet.
I’m taking the fact the Phi can jump that high as evidence that she’s an android.
Phi Game Over
Let’s betray this bitch and get the game over. Cycle of revenge go brrrrr
“as if I’d just wanted to see what would happen” stop attacking me sigma
Sigma Ending
“this doesn’t seem like appropriate workplace behaviour” LMAO
The archive was fun as shit
Got a game over but it’s Lock #6? Am I supposed to reload it?
Clicking it again worked. Having a lock that unlocks by having seen said lock was definitely a choice
“We’re gonna be sharing a room, b u c k o” get his ass tenmy
Can’t I just send Luna to vote by herself
K is 100% going to betray and leave. I’ll ally anyway so Luna doesn’t hate me.
HIS BLOOD IS WHITE HE’S A FUCKING ANDROID I KNEW IT
Does this mean K is an android too? Are they both the same model?
So Siggy didn’t age in cryo then, he just has really shitty fake skin lmao
Rick Deckard voice how can he not know what he is
So he’s a copy of the original Sigma then, created between human!Sigma’s abduction and the start of the game. I love androids, this is excellent news
How can the bracelet kill him and K then? I’m gonna need more information on this one.
Yaaaaaaaaay, everyone allied :D
Does this mean human!Sigma is Zero then
HEY THAT’S THE MUSIC BOX SONG FROM QUARK’S LETTER
I actually love Luna she’s so sweet
Please dear god don’t let Luna die in the true ending I’ll actually cry
“who set us up the bomb” god damn it lmao
I bet Dio could do a great Light Yagami impression
DIO ISN’T A CLONE HE’S ACTUALLY THE ORIGINAL LEFT
Old Man Jumpei is so fucking cool holy shit
Also Dio’s voice actor going for the fucking oscar rn
Bomb code #2 acquired! I think that means I have all of them
He’s a cyborg? So he DID age in cryo
HE HAS CYBERNETIC ARMS. THAT PATCHES UP THE ISSUE OF HIM NOT NOTICING HIS ARMS WERE OLD/WITHERED
Is Luna jumping timelines too?
Does Sigma have memory loss related to his arms because he’s a clone? Do all clones have issues with long-term memory?
THE DIRECTOR’S OFFICE CODE THANK YOU LUNA The last part (016) was written on Clover’s leg, way back at the start of the game. I know this because I wrote it down. How did Clover know the code?
Actually losing my shit over the achievement names. Fucking ARMS RACE are you kidding me lmao
TO THE DIRECTOR’S OFFICE LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOO
Director’s Office/Luna Ending
LUNA IS AN ANDROID
sigma hasn’t even read do androids dream of electric sheep smh my head
Luna did NOT kill Clover and Tenmy I refuse to believe it
Stfu Phi I’m not betraying Luna
We have 9 BP. Everyone’s dead but at least we can leave with Luna
WAIT. Did Future!Sigma give Luna the necklace?
The music box song :(
Every time it fades out I’m terrified I’m going to get a to be continued
“Knox’s Ten Commandments” okay I had a file on this. I’m gonna read the file now. I’m going to read the files from that safe. I’m trying to hold off on the rest until after the true ending.
Of course Clover wrote Dio on her leg. This is some 9=q door shit right here
MORPHOGENETIC SORROWWWW Fuck me, she has to be Akane
Is K’s dad Zero Sr
How the hell did Alice have any belongings for Dio to rifle through? Look at her. Where exactly was she keeping her stuff? Up her ass?
LUNA NOOOOOO
WHAT DO YOU MEAN “DOCTOR”
Future Sigma, what have you been up to
“Tears in the rain” :(
Well that was fucking heartbreaking. Let’s do Lock #3.
Lock 3/Quark Ending
…Is K Sigma’s son?
I don’t really remember what happened in this branch but it’s probably fine
HE’S GONNA CHOP HIS ARM OFF IN THE DOOR
This is giving Snake in the Safe Ending vibes
yOu SeNiLe oLd fUcK
Just realised the announcer voice is the same as the old woman
“take the piss out of a lime?” wut
KURASHIKI broooooooooo
Well, that was abrupt lmao
Okay. I have one lock left (Lock #8) which I’m assuming is the true ending.

Out there - Patreon (for all those curious or wanting to support :))
At the Beginning
Adventure Arc - Arc 2
Wilderness Arc - Arc 3
Academy Arc - Arc 4
Nobility Arc - Arc 5
Previously on Leveling up the World...
DRYAD RULER
(+2 Empathy)
You have fulfilled the promise made to the dryads generations ago. The question is, will you bring them to salvation or get them all killed?
​
The crown felt uncomfortable on Dallion’s head, though not nearly as uncomfortable as the realization that he had made the final step. The conquest was put in motion and now he couldn’t turn back even if he wanted to.
A long time ago, he would have defined this whole thing as the final multiplayer battle, though that was back when he viewed things through the lens of video games. There was nothing fun about this. Any cheats and strategies were allowed and second place equaled death, or “the last loser to die.”
The dryad boost was going to increase his population, but in terms of warpower, there was a lot to be desired. Despite their native magic, less than ten percent were awakened. Even among them, the most skilled would need assistance passing the fourth awakening gate.
Because of that, the initial plan had to go through some changes. Too weak to settle the fallen south, or settle in the unoccupied barren lands of the west, the dryads would have to directly face the Order’s war clerics in the eastern forests. From a purely strength perspective, the clerics had the upper hand, but hopefully the dryads’ numbers and environment were going to balance things out.
“Worried?” Euryale asked as she entered the dryads’ throne room. The sun gold armor had changed appearance, turning more regal than defensive.
“A bit,” he admitted.
“I thought you’d spend some time watching the procession. It’s not every day that you get an entire world to follow you.”
Dallion couldn’t even force a smile.
“I can sense them just fine from here.” The emotions were so intense that when combined with his magic vision, they allowed him to get a near-perfect image through the walls that surrounded him. “I’ll try to unbanish the dryad guardians back home.”
The items he had gotten from Canopa, among a few other places, were a lot more experienced. Although minuscule when compared to the millions in this world alone, they’d act as commanders and crack troops. In that aspect, it was fortunate that they stuck together. Back when Dallion had attempted to acquire the mage enclave, he had plans to use them as his special forces, just as the archbishop was doing with the copyettes. Now, they’d be given far more significant roles, which required Moon vows.
“Hey.” The gorgon placed her hand on Dallion’s shoulder. “I’ll be with you till the end. There’s no need to worry.”
Sadly, that brought as much concern as it did relief. Eury was someone who could handle herself well in battle. Even after Dallion’s massive level increase, he’d be hard pressed to win against her without the use of magic and companions. Reading her emotions, he knew that she would die for him and if he messed things up, that was how things were going to end up.
“I know.” He stood up. No weakness. He told himself, using music skills to shred the threads of doubt within him. “Time to see the archduke.”
Concentrating, Dallion linked the world to his personal domain, then to a spot in the real world.
​
DUZHD VI has been added to your domain.
The CITY is Level 11
​
ROSSA has been added to your domain.
The CITY is Level 12
​
ZDRAVETS has been added to your domain.
The CITY is Level 10
​
LOZE has been added to your domain.
The CITY is Level 10
​
VECHER has been added to your domain.
The CITY is Level 11
​
VJATUR has been added to your domain.
The CITY is Level 10
​
Rectangles emerged as one after the other Dallion moved the major cities into the real world. The moment they did, they too started moving, depriving anyone of the opportunity to strike them with magic rockets.
Small towns and villages remained in the aura sword, in case anyone wished to return at a later time. Until then, the world guardian would remain the only entity there.
And now, time for the push. Dallion moved the new set to the very border with the Order’s domain.
​
You have broken through your one hundred and twenty-eighth barrier.
You are level 128.
Choose the trait you value the most.
​
A green rectangle emerged. Increasing his reaction to ninety-five, Dallion kept pushing the cities further into enemy territory.
Facing anyone else, the action wouldn’t have achieved anything. However, the archbishop’s strength was also his weakness. Unlike everyone else, he didn’t have real settlements, only a massive war force that he had placed within monasteries and citadels throughout the world. For infiltration and intimidation, that approach was unparalleled. When it came to domain control, though, such meager settlements were bound to lose when compared to vastly larger cities. Having millions of dryads emerge in a scarcely populated area had quickly shifted the balance of power, taking out chunks of Order territory and adding it to his own. From this point on, the only way for the Order to reclaim it was to go on the offensive and attack the cities, which would be considerably more difficult. And just to make sure, Dallion went on to gin things up by playing one more trump card.
Using the link, Dallion moved to his personal realm. Night had fallen, but the glow of the remaining dragon heart still added an orange hue to the blackness.
“Nice play,” Gen said.
All three of Dallion’s echoes were waiting, standing a few feet from where he had appeared. While all shared his face, time and personal preference had made them very different. As Jeremy had said, each echo came with its own personality, which inevitably led to changes.
“Are you sure about this?” Gen, the veteran, asked. He was the first echo that Dallion had created. Constantly there to provide advice, he had maintained the realm since the early days, restructuring and repairing everything from individual plants to mountains and islands. “I’m not sure you’ll be able to keep this place clean without me.”
“Always a smartass.” Dallion shook his head. He knew that the echo could see exactly what he was thinking, and knew perfectly well that the step wasn’t going to be easy. Yet, it was necessary and not only because of the promise or the current war. If Dallion needed to grow, he had to let part of his past go.
Reaching in the air, Dallion summoned the dragon heart. As the orange crystal appeared in his hand, the hue in the sky vanished. In its place, an endless number of green stars emerged, along with all seven Moons.
Combining attack and carving, Dallion slashed the Moonstone with his finger. A small fragment chipped off. No larger than an adult’s thumb, it contained the power to grant divinity for a matter of minutes; or in this case, something a lot greater.
Dallion caught the fragment midair, then went to Gen and pushed the fragment into the echo’s chest.
​
ECHO TRANSFORMATION
GEN has been granted the spark of life!
Link with DALLION SEENE severed.
GEN had grown into his own entity.
All current skills retained.
GEN is Level 14.
​
A green rectangle appeared, as the former echo was covered in orange light.
“Thanks for everything you did,” Dallion said. “I’ll try to keep this place livable.”
Gen laughed, then disappeared in a cloud of fading particles.
​
DIVINE CREATION - GEN
(+1 Reaction)
You used a fragment of Dararr’s Garnet to bring an echo to life. Gen has been transported to Sandstorm.
​
A stab of sadness swept through Dallion as the echo was moved out of his personal realm. It felt like a thorn in his heart, but not for a single moment did he allow it to take control.
Taking a step to the side, Dallion stood in front of July. This echo had kept the most boyish appearance of the group. He had been “born” the same day Gleam had become Dallion’s familiar and retained a good relation with all creatures and guardians within the realm ever since. Even now, both Gleam and Ruby rested on his left shoulder.
“You’ll need to give him some space, you two,” Dallion said as he sliced off another shard of Moonstone.
Reluctantly, Gleam fluttered off, followed shortly after by Ruby.
“Don’t worry, you’ll still get a chance to see each other. I’ll make sure of that.” Dallion pressed the gem into the echo’s chest.
​
ECHO TRANSFORMATION
JULY has been granted the spark of life!
Link with DALLION SEENE severed.
JULY had grown into his own entity.
All current skills retained.
JULY is Level 21.
​
July looked down as the orange glow surrounded him, trying to hide his tears. He was by far the most emotional of the bunch.
“Take care out there,” Dallion said. In the very last moment, his former echo looked up, just before disappearing like the first.
​
DIVINE CREATION - JULY
(+1 Reaction)
You used a fragment of Dararr’s Garnet to bring an echo to life. July has been transported to Sandstorm.
​
Two echoes were gone. Only one remained—Ariel. He had been by far the most powerful echo in the realm, taking on the role of realm protector and overall loner. Unlike the rest, he had kept his hair white, in a sign of uniqueness, very much as his character suggested. During Dallion’s development, he was the one most pushing him forward, often arguing or talking back.
“Nothing to say?” Dallion asked, slicing off the final piece. “That’s very unlike you.”
“I’ve plenty to say. I just don’t want to see you crying.”
Touche. Dallion thought.
“Didn’t think you’d actually do it,” Ariel added, despite himself.
“You never thought highly of me.”
“No. I always did, even when you didn’t.” He looked at the orange piece of crystal. “I just never dreamed you’d be given a chance to do this.”
With a forced laugh, Dallion pushed the Moonstone fragment into the echo’s chest.
​
ECHO TRANSFORMATION
ARIEL has been granted the spark of life!
Link with DALLION SEENE severed.
ARIEL had grown into his own entity.
All current skills retained.
ARIEL is Level 42.
​
“You better help the others level up,” Dallion said as orange covered Ariel. “That’s your problem now.”
“Seeing the way you did it, I doubt I can do worse,” the other replied. “And don’t even think of cheaping out on gear! I know exactly what you can do.”
The glowing light quickly dissolved into particles, leaving Dallion alone.
​
DIVINE CREATION - ARIEL
(+1 Reaction)
You used a fragment of Dararr’s Garnet to bring an echo to life. Ariel has been transported to Sandstorm.
​
“Well, that’s that,” Dallion said, although he knew that the echoes could no longer hear him. They were no longer part of his realm nor were they echoes. From this moment on, there would be no thought sharing, no reminding him what he was supposed to do, and no jokes on his behalf.
The pain in his heart had increased threefold. Dallion had yet to have children, let alone have them “leave the nest” but he imagined the feeling would be the same. The trio had literally been part of him, born in awakening trials, through internal revelations. From things that had kept him back, they had become part of his realm that propelled him forward… and now they were their own entities out there in the real world.
“A hundred and twenty-eight levels and you remain a softy,” Gleam said, fluttering around Dallion. “I guess that’s what makes you you.”
“Look who’s talking.” Dallion kept the smile on his face. He could easily use his music skills to get rid of the pain, but this time, he chose not to. It was good to experience some pain from time to time. With what was coming, it was certain there’d be a lot more of it.
One by one, the Moons in the sky faded away, leaving only the Orange Moon. The hint was not at all subtle, but still, it was a good one.
Alright, Dallion thought, summoning his carving tools. There’s no point in keeping it any longer.
A new gemstone was diligently given shape and added to his Moon emblem.
​
MOON EMBLEM
5/7 Complete
​
A yellow rectangle emerged. No sooner had it done so than Dallion returned to the dryad throne room within his aura sword.
“Get Dark,” he said to Eury, making his way to the nearest window. “We’re heading to Lanitol.”
Hello, all!
I'll be taking a brief vacation from posting for Orthodox Easter :) Hopefully that will give you a lot of time to speculate about how the endgame will develop :P
Be well and see you Tuesday :)

Sure if you are attractive and tall and all the other bonuses of life you will have it easier than most people. Some of us are none of that. We still try so hard to be kind. We work our butts off. We know we aren't liked due to lookism so we act accordingly and confide in our own space and people still continue to hate us. We try to be open and we are mocked, roasted and made fun of and when we are nice we are taken advantage of. When we say no we are hated even more.
When we do anything we are hated while everyone gets off scot-free. I'm at the point where I really don't want anyone to bother me. I'm just here to vent because at least on here people are more likely to hear me out compared to real life, where everyone wants to lecture you like you're stupid and they are somehow better than you. When you've dealt with hate, mistreatment, being roasted, microaggressions, and such your life it's very, very hard to not be filled with your own fuel of hate deep down.
Some of us are still kind and not being shallow but what do we get in return? Still being treated harshly. I'm at the point where I don't even like to make small talk anymore but even I still do it to be nice. Anything, and I mean anything I do—any mood I'm in is a problem. I'm sick of it. Besides my couple of copes, life is awful and irrational. My motivation continues to deteriorate. Everything goes far from my way. If I was a videogame character my luck would be at the rock-bottom in stats. It feels like nothing will ever get better no matter how much I try.
I tricked myself in thinking optimistically this year but even then this year is still as bad as the rest. I wouldn't mind life if I didn't have to be in public so much and interact with other people. But unfortunately no. I'm only super close with a few people I can count on one hand. Just like when people are cruel to me, I don't even want people to be super nice either. I just want my own space away from just about everyone and for people to leave me alone. In order for me not to become a monster and unveil a darker side of me I have to isolate and stua indoors because the more hate I face the more ruined my mood is. I'm so sick of everthing that has accumulated over the years. Even the good and the copes cannot distract me from all the bad I faced.
When I descend even further that's it—I'm down with certain people. I will never ever ask for their help EVER again. When I was younger I never wanted to be filled with hate and remorse but people did all they could to ruin my mood so now I generally avoid almost everyone when I can. I will be hated and called names regardless of how open or closed I am.

I was at my library today, and some teen boys thought it would be hilarious to mess with me, and unfortunately, it threw me off so badly I ended up leaving. I felt embarrassed, and deeply uncomfortable and upset. Not just because I had a bad day (I have CPTSD from the narcissistic abuse I went through by my Nparents as a kid and was activated by something earlier that day), but I was embarrassed something most would probably ignore or shrug off threw me off so badly.
I was doing my homework, not making a sound, minding my own business...and a teenage boy randomly walked up to me and said, "can you be quiet? thank you" and walked away to a group of teens that were watching and laughing. I felt my cheeks go red and I felt really confused and embarrassed, wondering if I had made noise or were people staring at me, I felt really confused and nervous... and then, as I saw him laughing with the other boys, it clicked: I realized that these teens probably dared that boy to go up to a stranger and say that, and they thought it was hilarious to mess with a stranger*.*
I felt on edge and extremely uncomfortable, but scolded myself for feeling so uncomfortable and tried to shrug it off and continue my homework. I wanted to leave but i kept telling myself, I am not a child anymore, I have a right to be at my library and do my homework in peace. But few minutes later, I thought I saw something move out of the corner of my eye and I saw the same group of boys rushing from one part of the library to closer to my area, almost running in the library. As soon as I saw it was them, my heart was beating faster, my muscles tightened, and I felt extremely on edge and on high alert.
Sure enough, they approached me again, and this time, I just gathered my belongings and left the library before they could try to mess with me again.
I think this was upsetting to me because: I understand it is considered normal and socially acceptable for teenagers to walk up to strangers and mess with them, especially teenage boys. People will say things like "boys will be boys" or "teens are just testing limits, why, when I was a teen, I did stuff like that all the time!" It's considered innocent, no big deal, in the eyes of society.
Except... when I was an introverted, Autistic teenage girl... I never walked up to people in public spaces, messed with them, and giggled with my friends about it. I never pranked or harassed others' or messed with others'.
I had it drilled into my head to have the manners of a 50s housewife even as a child, I would look at the ground to avoid seeing people's eyes, talk in a whisper or so quietly no one could hear me because I was scared to make a peep. I did not have the lowered empathy for others combined with high impulsivity that would have made me pull off what those boys did, even when I was their age and (supposedly) you are supposed to have low empathy + high impulsivity and you are supposed to do stuff like mess around with strangers to get a rise out of them... I did not act out or be goofy or immature like others' my age. I wasn't extremely impulsive, I was not silly or goofy, and I had no desire to talk to strangers, let alone try to "get a rise" out of them.
Point is... I was never a normal teenager who "tested limits" or was emotionally immature and not having much empathy like teens are supposed to be.
I constantly obsessed how others' felt or thought, I had bad social anxiety and was scared of the slightest mistake.
It's upsetting that those teen boys were allowed to practically run in the library and mess with other people in the library, and people will act like it's all good fun. Most people will probably say I am just grumpy or uptight, most people probably cannot imagine that when I was a teenager, I did not mess with strangers like that. I was just not the normal teenager who behaved like that.
When I was a teen... I had no desire to behave that way. When I was a teenager, I had more respect and empathy for people in public spaces, than those boys, than others' my age. I cannot relate to adults who casually talk about behaving like those boys, or doing things even more bold and inconsiderate.
I feel conflicted: on one hand, I'm glad I never messed with other people when I was young, I'm glad I was respectful and thoughtful in spite of societal messaging that this was weird for people my age... the stereotype is teenagers are supposed to be the opposite. Teens are supposed to be just like those boys or even more disruptive, yet I wasn't.
Yet I almost feel like I missed out, in some way. Part of me wishes I could say "I acted out as a teenager and tested boundaries, I remember when I messed around with strangers and giggled about it because I was board. At the time, I didn't think or care about what others' experienced because all I cared about was giggling with my friends who thought that stuff was so funny."
The part of teenagehood where people are selfish or inconsiderate, test boundaries and mess with people or act out or are rude to people... I did not have that. So it upsets me, seeing teenagers in this unfortunately normal stage of development that because of Nparents + me having empathy and high emotional maturity + me having it drilled in my head to practically be a 50s housewife in docility and manners= behaving abnormally for my age.
I'm upset by teens behaving like this but also upset I never got to have that same same carefree and inconsiderate and impulsive behavior. I wish I could say I tested boundaries and was inconsiderate to strangers, but I can't. I was not normal as a kid, and even as an adult, I feel abnormal because I fear most people wouldn't give a second thought to those teens messing with them, much less feel so unsettled and embarrassed they'd leave the library over it.
EDIT: If anyone used to behave like those teens or more severely, I don't want this post to upset you. I understand that acting out is normal development for teens. But seeing their behavior and contrasting it with my opposite behavior at that age feels deeply isolating, which is why I'm making this post. I feel alone that I can't say I pulled pranks and I can't say that I messed with strangers as a teen.

After a run lasting roughly 32 days, my character has finally succumbed to the cataclysm. How you may ask? None other then the trials and tribulations faced on a first proper lab raid. I was on a long voyage to the refuge center, almost 5 cities away, so I loaded up a Police van with goodies that I had been stockpiling in my evac shelter, and set off.
Very, very quickly, my police van had struggled to keep up with the onslaught of undead, so I needed to swap out cars, fast. I drove past the first city, major damages taken to the vehicle, and had stopped at the first POI i saw, a Golf Course! There was a vehicle that would accompany the next part of my journey, the most important part. I swapped my battery with this, this time, only taking loot that would actually be useful, giving me much more room for stuff, and set off in my brand new Sedan!
And then I immediately crashed it denting the hood...
But that's fine! It happens!
I continued my journey and stumbled across a FEMA camp, and after a quick inspection, decided i WANTED what they had. I drove to a nearby evac shelter, stopped the car, and set out on foot with a makeshift knife spear I had quickly cobbled together.
Once I arrived, it was as simple as using the fence to my advantage, as all I needed to do was stab the occasional Zed that stumbled towards me through the fence. I did have occasional outside troubles, arising from a nearby anthill, but nothing I couldn't handle. Then I bit off a bit more then i can chew, as i somehow managed to attract every single Zed inside that camp. I quickly retreated back to the evac shelter, and climbed up a downspout seeing as i was being pursued quite...effectively. I stood up there, on the gutter for some time watching more and more pile up on the edge of the building, and decided it was time for some action. With my spear, I stabbed down from the roof, into the skulls of the Soldier Zombies clambering for a piece of my flesh. A few close calls with Caustic ones later nearly costing my life, and i was free from the dead, over 50 laid dead around the evac shelter after a whole night of resting, fighting, and repeating.
The spoils were immense. At this stage, my armor had consisted of nothing other then some riot gear I had taken from the undead some time ago when I was still based at my starting evac shelter. But here? Here was when i took up some proper gear.
A Heavy Ballistic Vest with its associated attachment points connected, extending its protection to my limbs. Brand new ballistic plates added to bolster my defense, a MOLLE webbing belt for extra storage, a Helmet, and some gloves, and my very first proper firearm, a MK18 CQBR Rifle along with some extra magazines for my newly acquired magazine pouch, and a fair amount of ammo looted from the rest of the bodies.
The FEMA camp itself had some spoils as well, most notably a M240 Machine Gun with a unreasonably high amount of ammo just sitting there. I loaded up my Sedan, and set off once again.
Deciding to not wreck my sedan through a city horde again, i decided to take a longer route around through some rural roads where I found a pickup truck! I swapped batteries yet again, and made way with my new vehicle, bolstering significantly better storage capacity.
I made a quick pitstop at an airport, refueled, took off and found something that i had only ever heard murmured about from time to time. A lab. Curiosity sunk its fangs into me, and i pulled my truck beside the accursed building. I entered through the front and found out quickly I'd need an ID to access it, but luckily for me, i had passed a coupe shaped ID along the road just moments ago!
With a careful...swiping of my ID card, I opened the "hidden" door on the back of the building and stood on the elevator, in a mix of excitement and fear. I entered, Rifle on a sling, spare knife in my vest, and a tonfa in my hand.
I was immediately greeted by a scientist...not living of course, and quickly dispatched them. I proceeded through the building, finding nothing out of the ordinary until I saw another locked door, with reinforced glass on either side. I couldn't make out much of the interior, but I saw some....creatures. Krecks were clawing at the glass, and in the back flew a strange mass of flesh...a Flying Polyp. The glass protected me so i decided i would explore the rest of the building and return to this strange room later.
I took some time clearing out the rest of the rooms, finding some small dormitories and various cabinets filled to the brim with various chemicals, as well as strange samples of genetic material from various creatures. I decided to return back to the hall with the beasts, thinking they'd still be locked behind the door, however i was sorely mistaken.
I'm unsure how it got there, but upon returning to that hall, I found it clouded in a thick, hazy gas. My curiosity getting the better of me, i decided to don my gas mask, and wade through the fog only to be pushed to the ground by a foul beast, a Nuckalavee. Panicked, and in a daze, i quickly dropped my tonfa, opting to wield my rifle in which, with a quick flip of a switch, set the thing to full auto as I let the ballistics echo through the halls. Half a mag down, and the beast was slain, dissipating back into the hell where it came, but not without leaving me terribly wounded. I staggered into a nearby storage room, threw my gun to the floor and quickly dealt with my bleeding wounds. After tending to them, and popping a good amount of tramadol, I spent the next 6 hours waiting, hearing the noises outside go from the gasps of the undead, to a strange tittering of metal clanking on the ground. I quickly decided I had waited enough. I had no more rations or water in my vest, and dehydration was starting to set in.
I grabbed my gun from the floor, reloaded and exited into the hall where i had learned that the area where the Krecks were hadn't even been destroyed. The centaur came from elsewhere it seemed. I passed by one of the windows, where a gaze pierced my mental. A quick look yielded the answer of what had done so. I ran down the hall, past the window, not wanting to bear witness to the creature where I had found out that the Polyp from before had found a way out, and was now floating in the hall. In desperation, I raised my rifle, and unloaded a solid 15 rounds into the beast until it had too returned to the void. I stumbled through the hallway, and finally made it back to the elevator, where i had chosen to rest for the night, and try again in the morning.
Wounds healed, armor checked, and guns reloaded, I headed down into the laboratory one more time. I spent some time getting off the elevator, gun in hand, as i slowly pied a corner, only to suddenly be grabbed from the darkness as a myriad of tentacles bit at my flesh, gnawing deep only to feast upon my blood. The gun fell to the floor, and I struggled to retrieve my knife from my vest, only for that too to fall. Hypovolemic shock was setting in as I tried to grab my rifle again, to no avail. I escaped from the grasp for a mere moment, stumbling into a table where I had soon after collapsed, my face pale as my heart stopped beating.
832 creatures had fell to my hands, but my own life was added to that list as well as I was truly, and utterly, unprepared.
TL;DR: Had a good run, found a lab, thought i could raid it, i could not. Star Vampires are scary. Had lots of fun :)

Good Evening Makenewfriends!
Not really sure if I will find anyone on here for the future, but I am open to just chatting for a bit and having some interesting conversations! Maybe get around to hopping on discord and playing some games in the future too!
I'll start off with the about me: White, 6'3", chubbiefat but I work out, go on walks two times a day and healthy everyday now, dirty blonde hair that gets curly as it grows out, blue eyes, glasses cause I'm blind as a bat, college educated, just trying to make my way in life.
I said nerdy because I do play video games (PC only - mainly path of exile, league of legends, and can work on buying other games in the future), and used to play table top games such as card games which I do eventually want to try to get back into. It might turn into just playing poker, but I had a lot of fun with card games and met a lot of my good friends through that.
About you: 18-45, similar interests or nerdy in some way (games, books, movies, etc), and just wants to enjoy the time together!
Hopefully I didn't scare you off, but send me a chat and tell me about yourself, what you are looking for, and we can always just have a nice conversation!

My relationship with my mother has always been difficult. Though we have gotten along superficially for the last few years, there have been multiple instances of extended lengths of time where we did not speak to each other, ranging from a few months to just under 3 years. My mother has now been sober for 2 years, but for most of my life she was a volatile alcoholic who in my early years neglected me much of the time, not in my physical needs but by either being gone, devoting her entire focus to her boyfriends, or being checked out and locking herself in her bathroom when she was home. In my teen years she ended up settling down with my step father, so while she was physically present much more often she changed into a very contemptuous, dismissive, and mocking presence in the home and she was frequently getting into huge fights with my step father and me. I became the scapegoat for much of their marital discord and for various self inflicted stresses they faced. I went from being a pretty bright honors student with a pretty secure future to ultimately dropping out, using drugs, entering multiple psychiatric 3-day-stays, and sort of going crazy and being homeless for a few years. She has expressed how she recognizes that her ways of parenting me were dysfunctional and she has expressed regret over the stuff from my early years, and as a result she has made a complete 180 shift in how she is with my sister.
A few months ago my mom asked that I pick my sister up from school on mondays and tuesday because my stepfather was working out of town and those were the days that she was unable to pick my sister up herself. I happily accepted, and very soon after this arrangement I started noticing that my sister, who I already recognized as being over protected and sheltered, was displaying some concerning deficits in developmentally "normal" areas.
We were at hobby lobby, and while in line to pay I handed her my debit card and told her I needed to schedule an uber and that I'd be out front by the entrance. She shook her head no and said she couldn't do it and that she didn't want to. I was confused but I recognized she was scared. I told her that she was 15, she was almost and adult and that she would be fine and if she didn't know what to do the cashier would help her. She was almost in tears when I walked back into the store after feeling guilty for leaving her. There was another instance of this when we were at subway and she had to order her own sandwich. She's at the age where she can start the process of getting her learners permit, but she has ZERO INTEREST IN GETTING HER LICENSE. My mom told me she had brought it up to my sister but my sister declined her offer to enroll her. Overall I have noticed my sister has literally zero confidence in herself, she has no experience with the outside world, she is fearful and negative toward her own peer group, and has no interest in becoming her own person, as a typical teenager would be jonesing for. She rarely spends time with friends, but does spend time with kids her age when my parents visit their friends among their own peer group who have same aged children. But friends that my sister made organically from school? Maybe a few visits a year. her birthday and sometimes for her best friends birthday. other than that she sits at home alone in her room while my stepdad sits in the garage drinking and chain smoking while using tik tok and my mom is either working or sits in her own bedroom watching tv. They baby her at home, and she hears my stepdads highly judgmental and negative world view that people are dangerous and out to get you, or she hears my moms disdain at the thought of speaking to literally anyone because my mother has pretty severe social anxiety that she saves face with by displaying this like "Oh gross...people!" vibe. My sister seemed very uninterested in meeting people from school, and when I asked about whether she had made new friends since starting high school she told me that she had not because she knew that people in her class were thinking mean things of her so she didn't even speak at school. I am naturally optimistic, an extrovert, and find attunement with others easy. I was troubled by hearing this belief that she carried, and was frustrated at her rigidity and closed mindedness at what I was saying to her about this belief she held.
So, when she told me a few weeks ago that she had a bf I was ECSTATIC for her, because for the first time since I had picked her up I had seen her SMILING and HAPPY from a deep place and acting like a regular happy kid. A few visits later, after picking her up multiple times and seeing the same wet-noodle of a boy walking her to the car, I asked her why she never hung out with her friends after school, and she said because she didn't want to because there was nothing to do around here. I told her that when I or my fiancé hung out with our friends we do not make an event of it, we just hang out and enjoy each others time and company. she kind of blew me off, so I said, "well if you ever want to hang out with your friends when I have to pick you up feel free. I just thought it sounded like a lot more fun than having to be locked in a car with your sister who never shuts up". the next day that i picked her up she asked if i could come back for her because she wanted to hang out with her bf and her friend. It was great!! I was so happy and proud because around this time I seriously saw a change in how she was responding to certain things, and how her general attitude seemed to be more relaxed and positive.
A few weeks went by where i hadn't seen her with her bf or any of her friends after school, and I noticed she was kind of getting back into her negative world view and fearful of things. I suggested that after school on mondays and tuesdays, she walk with her bf toward his house and i just pick her up from an elementary school that she said he lived close to. This elementary school is .9 miles from her school, on the same main street as her school. I thought this would be a nice dose of independence for her and time to be with her own peer group. She kind of responded in a way that was similar to when I had suggested her hanging out with her friends. I think a "ohhya-huh" and a shrug with nothing said after. So the next day when it was time for me to head to her school, I texted her and told her to meet me at the elementary school, like we had discussed. 15 minutes went by and no response. i texted her and asked if she got my text. she said she did. i asked where she was at, and she told me (she was still at the top edge of her high school). I asked if she was with her bf and after a little while she said no, that he had gone home early. i told her to use google maps to drop a pin of where she was at and that i'd be right over. She was half a mile from her school, literally .5 miles, when i picked her up.
She walked up to the car and i can tell she wasn't happy. My mom tells me my sister is lazy, though i dont interact with her enough to know that to be true. She just seems like a kid who doesn't have much to do other than video games/tik tok. She got in the car and asked why I made her walk. I told her I was sorry because i thought she would be with her bf and i just wanted her to get to spend some time with her bf. her phone rang, and it was my mom. i saw my sisters face as she answered and i recognized the look of someone trying not to cry. I could her my mom on the phone and it sounded like she was consoling her. (like my poor baby type of language). i asked to speak to my mom, and when i answered my mom was angry asking why i made her walk. i told her that i was trying to let her get some time with her bf because i felt it would be a good opportunity for her to get some normal time as a teenager. her anger combined with her gently consoling my sister struck a nerve in me. I hold a lot of jealousy at the ways she is being raised versus the way i was raised, specifically in the amount of care, attention, and concern they give her. this isn't directed at my sister but it resonates with my mother. For reference, when I was barely older than her I was getting out of work at 11 PM and would walk 3 miles to get home. I felt that jealousy, and said, "do you not have any shame about how you are treating her versus how you treated me?" i apologized for the outburst, but my moms negetive tone in her response hit me again and a big emotional flood of me crying about how ridiculous and unfair it was that she was acting like i mistreated my sister for her walking half a mile when she treated me like literal dog shit at her age. i pulled into the driveway, still crying and apologizing for my outbursts as they were happening, still feeling the word vomit of more outbursts. i got off the phone and went to my guestroom and called my bf crying. i shut the door, and the conversation was like 5 minutes long, but iwa sjsut crying about how i felt so worthless and unimportant to my mom. i got off the phone, walked into the living room, i told my sister i was going to get cigarettes from th gas station and that i'd be back in 5 minutes.
I left the gas station, which is 1.1 miles from my house and drove home. As i turned onto my street I saw my mothers car pulling out of my driveway. She had left work and driven to my house to drive my sister home. As we approached each other on the street, i stopped wanting to know what was going on and she ignored me and drove on, I was a flood of emotions and called her wondering what happened. She said that she had to keep my sister safe because she didn't want me arguing with my sister. This broke my heart and led to me sobbing on the phone while trying to explain that I was deeply hurt by that because I held my sister in such high regard and how I'd never do that. She's my little sister, and I loved her and I would never be mean to her or take things out on her. My mom didn't say anything and I cried about how unfair the way she was treating me in this situation was compared to the level of care, softness, and nurturing she was showing her.
I got off the phone and entered into a violent sobbing panic attack. I have had 4 instances of this violent heartbreak type of sobbing since living in my home, and all 4 times were due to my mother. She has caused me so much pain in my life, and in recent years she has wounded me when I turn to her for emotional support. She will either reject me with a demoralizing, belittling, dismissive, and contemptuous comment or outright ignore/stonewall me.
I have come to believe that she must resent me. I am accepting that she will not be the mother that I wish she was, she is and always was self serving and uninterested in the ways that she affected me or what/how i was doing. I accept this, and have been open to the idea of never speaking to her again, because although we are superficially fine, every 6-8 months something happens that rips open this very deep and painful wound in me and I am left sobbing while angrily seething on my floor between breaths that I hate her. I cry until i fall asleep and when i wake up my eyes are so swollen shut that i can barely see. I don't truly hate her, but it's the rejection and disappointment that I feel that in that moment feels like hate. I am open to never speaking to her again, but my little sister guys. My beautiful, sweet, bratty, spoiled, sensitive, manipulative little sister who I love SO GOD DAMN MUCH. I love her so deeply, and the only reason I am still in contact with my mom is because I love my sister so much. But I can't handle the deep and turbulent lows that I feel in dealing with my mother, and I also am left fearing at how this has effected my sisters trust in me. I feel that by my mother consoling her as she did (like the whole "oh my poor baby" thing) and leaving work to pick her up validated the notion in my sisters head that NOT ONLY was walking .5 miles after school unfair treatment, and that her outrage was justified, but that I had done that TO HER, and that I was an unsafe and dangerous person, because she actually left work to come pick her up from my house. I am heartbroken and don't know what to do.
TLDR: Mom acted like I abused my infantilized sister for making her walk half a mile, and acted like i was a danger to her afterwards. I am conflicted at whether to finally cut contact with her after a lifetime of contempt, rejection, and dismissiveness from her but do not want to abandon my little sister. What do you feel I should do? I'm not sure what I should do here.

This is why confidence is the key and important guys let me tell you why, I'm a girl who is not really way too pretty or attractive at all but I get a lot of people say about me na malakas ang dating and yung compliment nila is way more impressed unlike ng tingin mo sarili mo na "ang Ganda ko pala" no sis they compliment me way more better na may impact talaga sakanila yung dating ko like sasabihin nila Ako na kahit simple lang looks ko pinapaganda ko or ginagawang special also kapag kinompliment nila Ako is Hindi yung normal na say say lng like they complete me like this "ang Ganda mo-genuine way, ang ganda nya nohh-ung tipong parang di ka makapaniwala or Wala ka pang na encounter na ganun na person before tapos ung mga person around that person who compliment me will agree immediately nodding off their head it's like I casted a spell on myself to make them think that way this is why I also get pretty privileged simple gesture from strangers na that everyone can really experience and have but saying pretty privileged mean may privilege ka you can have them without any effort I get strangers open doors for me with a smile on their face and greet me I can easily ride transportation like tricycle etc. I get strangers say "para" for me just like what I experience one time nasa mini bus Ako and nag Sabi na Ako ng para pero di parin nag stop ung bus then this three guys of college student I think di sila magkakakilala sabay silang tatlong Pinapara ung bus yes this happened believe me because I can't also believe too that can happen pala that often happened to me mostly guy ung gumagawa pero Minsan my mga girlies rin and I also noticed that a lot of strangers in public look at me, prolonged eye contact, neck breaker, double glances from them, smile from them and that look from women that everyone girl know and what it feels like "I wish I am her" look I get that to some women especially adults. Here's my favorite thing about pretty privileged I get discount to some store like street foods, thrift shop, canteen store in our school I get free food sometimes without asking they just give, also they let me utang and take any food I want without paying when I forget my wallet and they also lower the price of their meal when I refuse to buy when it's pricey for me they lower for me fun right? Yeah only when you have pretty privileged and when I tell you guys you can also do that I'm not saying it's easy but when you're bold and comfident you'll most likely to get what you want not all the time but you'll see.
Should I post for part 2 about some tips how to be that girl? Let me know y'all.

English is not my native tounge there might be couple of mistakes do not mind it.
Alright gotta start with the beginning,
what a shock since ı was a kid ı was not the popular handsome charming guy. İts usually because ı had my issues with understanding people and with adding being 7 year old kid (at that time), have coused me to not being capable of explaining myself or having a clear communication. when someone speaks ı could effortlessly see if they were speaking truth and ı could see where is this conversation going and ı get bored so stop listening. this and me having different interest like ants, animals or different spesific historical details about any kind or chemicals, not caring about how ı looked or having a dark sense of humor well as you can imagine ı was alone all the time. sometimes they annoyed me messed with me but ı wouldnt fight with them because of the fear of getting expelled from school. İt was sum of my 6 to 7 year of education in kindergarten to 7. grade. ı have met with a girl lets call her A, and since kindergarten to 7. grade ı had a huge crash on her, but she rejected me countless times in 7 years. Sometimes couple of kids from my class, was telling her that ı love her and she rejected me without ı am even knowing it. one day it was one of the last days of school, summer season nobody studies or works on something and wears basically whatever they want, ı was there with my uniform and my backpack. because of how strict my parents are in education they have always told me that ı have to go to the school like it was the first day. So this and me drawing thing on my notebook held me back when the bell rings. everybody was out of the school in a second but ı was still in class packing my stuff. Then two girl showed up lets call them B and C ı knew that they are close friends with A and they hangout all the time. they just called my name and said she is going to come here and she wants to speak about some possibilites. they were quite clear about possiblities and ı knew it. they basically told me to stay here and wait so when she comes you can speak with her. Look ı have been rejected many times with almost every possible way, and ı was still in love with her. ı was loyal to her love without being with her so ı couldnt think myself with someone else because ı was feeling like ı was cheating on her. it was killing me to se her with someone else but ı was'nt doing anything with it. considering that it was a huge moment for me and ı was waiting there. it was hot so ı took off the uniform on my shirt and ı was waiting on the same spot for 30 minutes. finally she came, ı was shaking. ı was trying my best to remember anyting she said so ı could think about her voice after this conversation because ı thought it was the beginning of my happy life. she said "hey" and said the same. after the small talk she asked "Do you still love me?" and of course ı said yes and she asked " Then why dont you ask me out again?" and of course ı asked her out kindly. she said " Do you remember that ı was always rejecting you before?" ı answered yes. and she said "I REJECT YOU ONE MORE TİME!" with laughing. ı was quite shocked but then ı reilized her two friends were recording us behind the enterence door and they showed up and joined the laugh. they were mocking me and recording close to my face and everything at that moment. here is the part. ı felt someting changed in my soul at split second. not anger not rage not sadness. nothing. pure emptiness. ı just stood silence and slowly packed my stuff and go back to my home. after that ı didnt care about most of the stuff anymore. ı just stood silence and hangout by myself. but when people tried to mess with me ı didnt hold back. ı fought back with them ı cut them ı bit them ı did everything ı could do to hurt them. ı was doing my boxing for almost 3 years at 8. grade so ı was better when it comes to fighting. but after that it wasnt about knocking my opponent it was killing my enemy. ı didnt care about expelling or other stuff. ı did broke some kids fingers and hit them with rocks in my hands. hitting them more when they scream because of pain. forcing them to look in to my eyes and punching them even more because of the bloodthirstiness. everybody stayed away from me. changed their direction and stopped messing with me . they didnt expelled me because of the cameras around the school was proving that they have started the fight first. and ı dont know maybe ı was kinda good kid before they took it as some kind of psychological issue. After a lot of fighting apologizing and hospital stuff happen they have sent me to psychologist after some tests and some talk ı tried to joing to community again. if you ask ı am still holding back because ı am still training in martial arts. but there is nothing stopping me going to jail if ı lose control again. ı have better things to live for and ı wont do the same mistake again. stay in shape, stay in controll and ask for help if you can thats pretty much it.
ps: yes ı have antisocial disorder sherlock. no ı dont really feel mercy. no ı dont hurt animals for fun. and yeah ı feel emotions like sadness and happiness like you. but after mastering about faking it you cant really tell that if ı am fake smiling or something. ı dont really know if ı was like this from the beginning or it was triggered after her. it is what it is. if you have any questions be spasific and ı will answer.

Good Evening R4R people!
Not really sure if I will find anyone on here for the future, but I am open to just chatting for a bit and having some interesting conversations! Maybe get around to hopping on discord and playing some games in the future too!
I'll start off with the about me: White, 6'3", chubbiefat but I work out, go on walks two times a day and healthy everyday now, dirty blonde hair that gets curly as it grows out, blue eyes, glasses cause I'm blind as a bat, college educated, just trying to make my way in life.
I said nerdy because I do play video games (PC only - mainly path of exile, league of legends, and can work on buying other games in the future), and used to play table top games such as card games which I do eventually want to try to get back into. It might turn into just playing poker, but I had a lot of fun with card games and met a lot of my good friends through that.
About you: 18-45, similar interests or nerdy in some way (games, books, movies, etc), and just wants to enjoy the time together!
Hopefully I didn't scare you off, but send me a chat and tell me about yourself, what you are looking for, and we can always just have a nice conversation!

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Plot
When Beshte's dad Basi gets injured by a frightened young rhino while creating hippo lanes in the flood plains after a big rainstorm, Beshte must step up and make the hippo lanes instead. Meanwhile, Kion, Bunga, Ono, and Fuli lead a herd of stubborn antelope led by Bupu to higher ground, and Makuu and his float of crocodiles return and try to help Basi so that there will be no rules to stop them.
Song: "Makin' Hippo Lanes"
Pros
-This is a really sweet father-son episode between Beshte and Basi. It's the first episode where we really get a feel for who Basi is as a character and I really like him. He's loving, compassionate, kind, sweet, fatherly, encouraging and most importantly supportive of Beshte just because he made a mistake while making the hippo lanes.
I like him because he's such a model dad, comforting Beshte about his mistake and not just flying off the handle and chewing him out for it. I love this because Beshte can't be older than 14 at this point and so he still has a lot to learn. Plus, it was his first time making the hippo lanes that we wouldn't have had to make except that Basi got injured at the start when Habib (let's call the little rhino "Habib" from now on because it means "Precious" in Swahili) panicked and accidentally poked him with his horn. Anyways, I love Basi for being completely understanding, with the knowledge that Beshte is not used to making the Hippo Lanes and therefore, made a genuine rookie mistake.
-Makuu is back and I'm thrilled about this because he was such a cool, menacing and really charismatic villain. I love him because he has an ulterior motive that's kind of similar to Scar in the original film, to give himself power over the crocodiles and the entire floodplains. Another reason he's really cool is because he has a really menacing and threatening presence in the Pride Lands whenever he's around and actually looks like someone who you wouldn't want to mess with. I do think Beshte and Basi were right to chase him away though, because he was making the floodplains a scary place when it was supposed to be a safe place and he was clearly trying to terrorize everyone. Given all the trouble he caused in "Never Roar Again", I wouldn't want him in the Floodplains either, though. Also, there's again, another unspoken rule about not eating the children of the Pride Lands.
-I love the fact that Makuu has a bit of a rivalry with Basi and resents the idea the hippos (in the Pride Lands at least, remember guys, hippos are not like that in real life) are rule-following, peaceful animals in contrast to crocodiles. So, I'm not surprised that he has a personal vendetta against Basi's pod, especially considering that as long as hippos are in charge of the watering hole, Makuu can't really do anything because they are more powerful than him. From what we've seen in "The Rise of Makuu", he seems to have a long-standing rivalry with the hippos and they were probably always fighting.
"Hippos.... always obeying the rules," Makuu, aggravated. "Come on. One little rhino's not worth the effort." Realistic behaviour on his part. I mean, Basi and Beshte would whoop his ass into the next world if necessary. Hippos are way more ferocious than any other animal in the Savannah and are one of the fiercest animals worldwide.
-Why do you guys think Habib was in such a hurry anyway that he ran into the Floodplains even though the Hippo Lanes were not ready, yet? Do you think he was being chased by Makuu's float or was in a hurry to meet up with his herd or something?
-I liked when Kion and the rest of the Lion Guard came on the scene and how they're all equally concerned about Basi's leg being hurt by Habib (accidentally, of course). Kion informs him to not walk on that leg, which is actually a realistic thing because in feel life, if you do injure your leg, it's best not to walk on it for a while or at least not do anything strenuous and just start small so you can help it to recover rather than make the pain worse. Kion is such a sweet boy for informing him of that and constantly showing concern for every animal in the Pride Lands. Basi kind of feels all of the Guard's father in some way, doesn't he?
-"Maybe Basi should be on the Lion Guard too, Kion," Bunga. I mean, he's not wrong. The Pride Lands' wisest or the Pride Lands' kindest/sweetest animal. By the way, Basi would make a good teacher role for Kion and his friends.
-I like the worldbuilding and lore aspect in this episode. In this episode, as promised in the title, we are told that Basi is in charge of making the Hippo Lanes for the Pride Landers after a big rainstorm and that his son, Beshte, is learning the ropes of it at the start. I like this mechanic because Basi is the leader of the hippos in the kingdom, and so, it's job to teach his son what will be his responsibility someday. I like how every animal in the Pride Lands has their own customs.
-I love how much Beshte really wants to make the Hippo Lanes for Basi's sake because obviously, his father is in no fit to do them at that point. Beshte is understandably nervous because it's a huge responsibility for a child to have and he was just learning how to do it at the beginning of the episode. I love how Kion, being an absolute sweetheart, encourages him and ultimately relaxes him telling him that as the Strongest hippo in the Pride Lands, they all believe in him. Also, I like this mechanic of by making the Hippo Lanes, he'd be automatically helping with the circle of life, like he's supposed to.
-Bunga; "What's the big deal? The floodplains will dry up soon. There's not a cloud in the sky." Thunder clouds start rumbling over the Pride Lands. Don't jinx it! Fuli; "You what they say, if ya don't like the weather on the Savannah, just wait a few breaths." You're damn right, Fuli. That was actually a really funny joke they threw in the episode because it's very accurate.
-I've always liked the main plot-point of this episode because it's actually believable. Did you know that in real life, hippos are known as "ecological engineers" and can modify and influence their own habitat and ecosystem. Just like Basi and Beshte, after a heavy rainstorm in real life, hippos actually do plough through submerged wetland or grassland areas, that are used by other animals living in the same habitat. In doing so, they make nutrients flow around and end up making new gateways for different types of animals. Other animals follow the hippos into these wetland areas to access more food, nutrients and shelter. So, I like how this episode is about something that hippos actually do.
-I love Beshte in this episode. He's such a big, lovable and kind-hearted sweetheart who's whole motivation is to help animals get where they need to go and to do favours for them, even if he should've told them to wait until the hippos lanes are done. I just can't help but love him for giving animals rides and being kind to them. It fits well with his character to focus more on being nice than to focus on the task at hand, that he's only been assigned to this episode. He's just an adorable, sweet gentle giant whom I can't help but admire.
-I know he wasn't doing the Hippo Lanes the right way, but, I can't help but admire him for his kindness towards animals in the floodplains, even if they shouldn't have been in there in the first place and should've waited until Beshte was finished the task. I still admire him for giving them rides. I understand why Beshte would struggle to say "No" or "You have to wait til I finish the Lanes, okay." He's got a big-heart, like Kion in "Never Judge a Hyena By Its Spots" and "The Kupatana Celebration".
-And actually giving animals rides across the Floodplains, I think, would actually be a good idea, albeit not very convenient. Basi, the leader of the Hippos, probably does not have the time to take every small animal everywhere, not to mention it would be just as easy for them to cross the Floodplains themselves, or on another animal, like a lion or an antelope or something. Maybe they should start a "Pride Lands Riders Association for your crossing pleasures".
-I think the Hippo Lanes is an interesting and a wholesome concept. Hippos are not like in real life, they are extremely territorial to other animals and very aggressive and they are the most dangerous mammals in the world (BBC Wildlife Magazine). That being said, I think this could've been a very send off for Beshte after Season 3. I think this could've been a great new purpose for him instead of the writers making all the Lion Guard go to the Tree of Life. Plus, the start of the episode really hints at Basi training his son to take over his role in the circle of life, someday.
-For the most, I did like the rest of the Lion Guard in this episode. I'm glad that Beshte was the main focus though, because he hasn't really had a dedicated episode besides "Follow that Hippo" earlier on in the Season. But, I liked Kion being the serious, calm, yet frustrated leader trying to corral Bupu's herd of stubborn antelope. It's funny because I feel his frustration at Bupu's stubborn and stuck-up attitude over being bossed around, even though they weren't being bossed around. I love Fuli tolerating Bupu and trying hard not to lose her temper because she's so frustrated that the antelope are not following instructions even though it's all for the best. I feel her frustration towards Bupu because I would be losing my patience as well in that situation, with how annoying the antelope are being at this point. I love Bunga for trying to remain optimistic, but, even he's losing patience. I understand the Lion Guard's annoyance towards the antelopes at the beginning.
-Shout out to the little baby antelope in Bupu's herd for being one of the most adorable babies in the show and making a big pleading face at Bupu, to get out of the water. Also, shout out to Boboka for being the most protective and perfect mother to her little baby and the only real sane member of Bupu's herd. Seriously though, she's the only one reason that Bupu ultimately decides to follow the Lion Guard's instruction. I think she should be leader, tbh. Who let that guy lead the herd?
-"Hang on to your antlers," Bunga. "For one thing they're horns...." Bupu. That was funny because antelopes are often mistaken as being part of the deer family, but, they're actually part of the Bovine genus (aka Cattle family) and so have horns, not antlers. But, I also like the fact that the kids watching the episode may have thought they had antlers, like Bunga in that moment.
-Kion's Roar being used to move the rocks out of the way is a good idea because they would never be able to push them aside since Beshte was not with them at that point. Also, more evidence to suggest Kion and Beshte are the two muscles on the team.
-I like the random cute animals that are riding along on Beshte's back, Laini, Churu (the frog), a wagtail, a hare, young aardvark). I love these more cute scenes in The Lion Guard. Also, I know this not how the Hippo Lanes works, but, how could you say "no" to them?
-I like the way Beshte is not perfect at making the Hippo Lanes at first, he's a young teenager who's only filling in for his father on this occasion and still has a lot to learn about the role. It's like Kion learning how to be good leader. I like that Beshte is clearly a rookie who's not perfect and the job yet, but is learning and is eager to do it because Basi is injured. He's also not able to say "no" to the small animals because of his kind heart and again, his inexperience at making the Hippo Lanes. I love it when the writers explore all the members of the Lion Guard learning new jobs.
-"More like a curly elephant's trunk. Actually, they're more like a bunch of elephants trunks. All twisted up together. And stuck in a Baobab tree's roots." Ono's funny moments. You gotta love for that.
-"This way. Step right up. One new Beshte-made Hippo Lane for all your crossing pleasures! Moms and babies first!" That seems fair to me, tbh. Also, I can't tell you how much I love Bunga for his optimism and his kindness. Also, I love it when he calls them "anty-lanty-lopes".
-Bupu, "Now I bet you'll tell us to get out of the rain. Well, we're not going anywhere!" Fuli, "Good." Bunga, "Yeah, that's kinda what we want." Well done, Bupu, you did something sensible for a change. Also, no, there's no where for you to get out of the rain, anyway.
-Now let's talk about Kion and Ono going into the floodplains. After Boboka and her son accidentally go into the floodplains, thinking that the were ready, they end up getting lost. Kion and Ono go after them to rescue them. First off, Kion dives in to save Boboka's son from drowning. Drowning was a little a dark for this series, especially by Season 1's standards. But, on the other hand, I like stimulating, engaging cartoons that aren't afraid to get dark even if they are made for children. When I first watched that scene back when it came out, I was on edge even though I knew that he wouldn't drown. It made it exciting and compelling for older viewers. I like cartoons that challenge younger children with action sequences. Plus, it was exciting and Kion would obviously risk his own life for the baby, and it was all fine because they got out of it.
-Also, Kion has a big-heart to go and search for Boboka all on his own, without having any eyes in the sky. By the way, he's so much better at swimmer compared to the beginning of Season 1, that means he's gotten stronger at this point. Ono was good as well to protect and guide Boboka's son back to the herd. I mean, I kinda think Kion could've waited with the calf and Ono could've looked for Boboka, but, then again, Ono couldn't carry her like Kion. Maybe the calf could've stayed with them and he wouldn't drown with Kion and Ono around. I don't know, I did like the rescue scene, but, I don't know that that's how I would've done things. But, in fairness, Kion is only cub learning about his role and finding his feet at this point.
-Also, as annoying as Bupu was at the start, I do like the fact that this episode is like the precursor for Fuli and Bupu's "adult/child friendship" later on in the series. I like their dynamic in Season 2 because they're very similar to each other, hot-headed, impatient, short-tempered, stubborn, overconfident, strong-willed, but also very different from each other and so they clash, but are also very loyal to each other. I like how this episode basically founded their relationship. I did like how at the end of the episode, they came to an understanding in the end which was really sweet. By the end, I thought Fuli and Bupu had a really sweet "child/adult" dynamic.
-I loved Beshte and Basi's dynamic at the end too. After Beshte how the Hippo Lanes had gone wrong and that he thinks he let everyone down, Basi comforts him and agrees to help him make a new lane this time "straight and true". Another example of Basi being a total sweetheart and a freaking awesome dad, never once chastising his son for his mistake, but instead, helping him correct his mistake and understanding that it was Beshte's first time making the Hippo Lanes. I know I keep talking about it, but, I've always love their sweet father-son dynamic.
-Makuu returns at the end to murder Basi to in his words "get rid of the rules", while Beshte's back is turned. Makuu is a total savage this episode, but, he has been my favourite villain in Season 1. His voice actor, Blair Underwood is flawless and is clearly loving the role. He has so much charisma. Plus, Makuu trying to outright kill Basi was downright evil and cold and, not to mention dark for a show that was made for kids, after all. I mean, I knew he wasn't going to win, but he's still a great villain, with his intimidating presence in this scene. I get excited every time Makuu's float show up in the series.
-Also, Makuu attempts to murder Basi while he's injured. I thought that was interesting and smart because he knows that Basi would destroy him and his float under different circumstances. In the wild, hippos are, as I said, very aggressive, threatening and powerful, and could go completely ham on every animal if necessary. So, no crocodile can beat up a healthy and fit adult or teenaged hippo, even if they have numbers on their side. I get the writers gave Makuu more of a chance to make things interesting for the audience, but, I'm just saying it's no wonder Makuu opted to bring back up crocs. As soon as Beshte showed up to back Basi, Makuu gets a little afraid because, out of nowhere, came this healthy and fit younger and stronger hippopotamus, enraged by his presence.
-Now, of course Beshte was right to stop Makuu. I mean Makuu was so in the wrong when he said, "we get ride of the hippo, we get ride of the rules." He wasn't talking about hunting or being allowed to eat in the Pride Lands, he was talking about giving himself power over the whole Floodplains, with Basi out of the picture (which would obviously never come to pass because the Lion Guard are keeping Makuu in check at this point). Also, given what Makuu did the last time he tried to take over the Floodplains, I don't blame Beshte for kicking him out, in the end. And, most importantly, Makuu was going to attacked Basi. I mean, he is Beshte's father and Beshte would want to defend by him any means necessary. Of course Beshte wants to whip Makuu's ass at this point. It's one thing wanting to eat in the Pride Lands, but, Makuu clearly had an ulterior motive by wanting to kill of the hippo leader. But, also, I know I would want to do what I can if my family were in danger, I assume you guys in the comments would do the same.
-Speaking of Makuu's attack on Basi, I thought it was clever to use the Hippo Lanes as a way to outsmart him and defeat. Hippos can swim and sprint faster than crocodiles, and Makuu clearly did not see it coming what they were doing. So, I liked it a lot. Beshte went from struggling to do the Hippo Lanes correctly, to using them to defeat a terrible foe in the final act, ultimately tricking Makuu and his float into being trampled by Bupu's herd. Makuu decides to scram after this. Fun Fact: In real life, Beshte or Basi alone, could go completely ham on Makuu's float and essentially destroy them.
-Also, I am sure Kion, being one of Beshte's best friends, knew all about this attempted murder on Basi by Makuu. I think we can assume Beshte told him and the rest of the Guard at some point and that would've caused them to resent Makuu even more by the time of The Savannah Summit, where they do not see good in him for quite a while. Season 1 kind of hints that Kion and Beshte, in particular, had personal vendettas against Makuu because he had caused them stress in the past.
-Finally, to end this review, I liked the scene at the end where Basi commends Beshte for making the Hippo Lanes. It was word for word exactly what Simba said to Kion and Kiara in "Can't Wait To Be Queen", "I never had any doubt."
Cons
-Bupu was fairly annoying at the beginning of this episode. I really didn't like him until the very end. He makes me question, who the heck let this guy lead his herd, anyways? I get that the Lion Guard are children and all, but, they clearly made the right call to lead the antelopes away from their grazing grounds so they don't drown and ushering them away from the rockslide so they don't die. Bupu annoyed me the way he was acting all pissed off and dismissive of the Lion Guard. He accused them of bossing his herd around and berating them even though they wouldn't have had to get angry if Bupu had been more cooperative. It feels like he should already know to get to higher ground to protect his herd. I didn't like the fact that the antelopes were just standing around waiting to be drowned.
-I didn't like how Bupu was disrespecting Fuli towards the end just because she had been losing patience. I would be losing patience as well if I was in that situation. I don't like how when they got them away from their grazing grounds, Bupu said that they've come so far even though they barely left because of him. Also, why is it that Boboka (the sane one of the herd) had to be the one to talk him into it? I think she should be the leader, tbh. I don't like how he berates the Lion Guard, even though the Guard were leading them around so they would be safe. I'm really glad to see Bupu become more likable later on. I am not saying Fuli should've eaten him, but, I am saying that he should've more understanding and more appreciative of the Lion Guard's efforts to help.
-Bunga > Bupu any day. At least Bunga is shown to be cooperative, smart, intelligent, mature, sensible, polite, kind, understanding and wise when he needs to be. What does Bupu think this whole ordeal is, some kind of game? A hoax? A prank? How stupid can you get? I also don't like how Fuli had to apologise to Bupu at the end just because he made her frustrated. She didn't mean to get frustrated. And actually all the Guard got frustrated with the antelope. Fuli did not need to learn anything in this episode or admit to being wrong, in my opinion. Imagine if this had a more severe, life or death situation where they had to force the antelope along. Bupu should learn to understanding people's intentions better and maybe then he won't be a headstrong jerk.
-And the whole "It never hurts to be polite thing" could've been avoided if Bupu had just told that that's all he wanted at the beginning. But, more importantly, he's a terrible role model for little kids in this episode. He demands the Lion Guard say "please" for everything even though they are helping him and his herd get to safety so they don't die. He demands they be polite to him at all costs even they have tried to patient and calm and he wasn't having any of it. Kids need to see that you can't expect someone to say please all the time because there are times where you just have to do as you are being asked for safety or otherwise. I also don't like the way he refuses the get his herd out the floods when he should know what's best for them. He doesn't even think to get the calves out of the water and to higher ground. Leadership 101, for crying out loud! I don't like his attitude for most of the episode and the fact that he removes to see that the Lion Guard are only looking out for him and the rest of his herd by ordering them to cooperate and be safe.
-But, I also do not like his herd at the start of the episode. Boboka is, in fairness, the smartest and the least annoying in this episode because she has the herd's best interests at heart and wants to get them to safety. She also has a son that she wants to protect. But, if I were in her shoes, I would be leading the baby antelopes to safety whether the rest of the decided to follow or not. Are we really expected that there no other calves in the herd with older antelopes? I don't understand why she didn't just take her calf (with other antelope parents) and up and get to higher ground. So, yeah, I liked Boboka, but, that was the only time in the episode where she annoyed me. Any mother would want to get their baby to safety immediately.
Overall
So, I thoroughly enjoyed revisiting this episode and getting to review it. To recap, I loved Beshte and Basi's father-son dynamic. I thought it was really cute and sweet and loving. I love how much they are two characters that jump through hoops for each other to protect each other no matter what. They're kind of similar to Kion and Simba. I do like the dynamic between Basi and the rest of the Lion Guard as well. He feels very fatherly towards them and I like to think he was childhood friends with Simba and Nala, and still is. I found the rivalry between Basi, Beshte and Makuu's float interesting because the idea of the hippos and the crocodiles being at odds has come up before in the series. I find it interesting that they have some hatred for one another. Makuu was perfect as always. I love him whether he's in his villain phase or his reformed phase. Blair Underwood's performance is really spot on for Makuu. The episode was surprisingly dark, but, exciting with the whole Makuu trying to murder Basi and also Boboka and her son almost drowning in the floodplains. At the end, I enjoyed Fuli and Bupu's dynamic. It's an underrated "child/adult" friendship and is on par with Kion and Ma Tembo's. The jokes were pretty solid in it and I loved the scenery in the Pride Lands in this episode. I loved the more cutesy animals in this episode. The only animals that really annoyed me were the antelopes. I thought Bupu's stubbornness eye-rolling and I didn't like his rudeness. However, I still really love this episode and the antelope became a lot more polite later on. I thought the educational value was really interesting in this episode. I'll give it a 7.5/10 overall.

Years it has been. I've been contemplating suicide for a long while now, I've always looked at myself as a total failure. From the path I have been down, I can't find my way out of it. I can't trust my relatives and friends, I always feel like they don't want anything to do with me.
I have had a porn addiction since I was 14, every time I tried to get out of it, I just relapse into it. I've always looked at myself as a person who couldn't improve at that point. I always try to blow it off, but it just comes back to me and settles in my mind.
My friends aren't making anything better at all. They always blow off what I say, they don't care about me, they make fun of me. It really makes me feel as if they weren't associated with me in the first place.
I'm planning on just ending it all soon, don't know when and how though.

I don't want to come off as a jerk. However,, my high school has this issue of dragging students into mandatory assemblies with music and dancing. This is a regular occurrence, so much so I can't even care, despite the face it's from literal Folklórico. I'm Asian, by the way.