Hello Reddit I need some outside perceptive throwaway account for obvious reasons
I (42M) have three children, aged 18, 16, and 14. My wife and I divorced a few years ago, and since then, I've been solely responsible for their financial support. My ex-wife, who is a stay-at-home mom, doesn't contribute financially.
Recently, my eldest daughter got accepted into her dream college, which comes with a hefty tuition fee. She's been counting on me to pay for it, but here's the thing – I don't want to.
I believe that my responsibility as a parent ends when they turn 18, and they should fend for themselves after that. I've told my daughter that she needs to figure out how to pay for her education on her own, whether it's through scholarships, student loans, or working part-time. She's devastated and feels betrayed, but I don't think it's fair for me to bear the burden of her college expenses.
My friends and family are divided – some say I'm being responsible by teaching my daughter financial independence, while others argue that I'm neglecting my duty as a parent to provide for my children's education. Right now I just need outside perspective So, Reddit, AITA?

I’ve not had a credit card in years. I know there are some negative consequences as far as credit ratings go. And you lose the ability to dispute charges, although this is not a common problem for me.
Am I missing out on anything here? Are there any other benefits? And what card, AmEx sent to offer the best rewards but doesn’t look like it’s accepted most places.

I have a dilemma can anyone help me regarding this? Actually I have been accepted to Saint Louis university and the COA is around 35650 after deducting the scholarship amount. I have also been accepted to Wichita State university with COA of 25200 after deducting the scholarship amount. My brother is also currently studying in Texas A&M. So which one should I choose on the basis of visa acceptance? I don’t know what the visa situation might be so what should I do next? Can anybody help me??!

So I (28m) have had issues with my girlfriend’s (27f) financial situation for years now, we have been together for about 8 years now. Regarding my own financial situation I am not rich, I am a high school teacher but live fairly cheap. The issue with my girlfriend is that she seems to make poor financial decisions and cannot save money, the most money she has saved has been 4k but that period was brief, the past two years its been consistently below 2k.
I have stood in a position where I will not move in with her or marry her unless she is able to save consistently and have a bit of an emergency fund, so even after being together 8 years we still live separately. I fully understand that a serious relationship will merge finances eventually, but I feel like each individual should have a foundation of financial literacy before merging together.
Regarding her career she is trying to make it as a professional dancer, she has been slogging away for the last ten years or so in auditions and with agencies but has not had much of a break, she gets some bottle girl / party gigs. She supplements this usually with retail or bar work. Her actual income is not the best but not horrible, I think it floats somewhere around 70k per year (AUD). I feel with some discipline and a budget she would be fine to consistently tuck a bit of money away each week.
Her financial habits are not great. Ill list a few below

• Had $200 in her account total, went and bought a dress on an after-pay loan.
• Didn’t pay tax correctly and went another 7k in debt. ( probably just a mistake, whatever )
• Got a car loan when she was 22, but didn’t bother looking into interest rates or the price of the car. Ended up paying way too much.
• Her general spending just sort of dribbles her money around, coffee, lunch, nails, drinks with work friends some clothes. There isn’t anything particular her money is being wasted on but it just seems to go.
• Never set a budget up or attempted discipline. I offer every time finances come up that I can help with a budget and advice on managing her weekly income. She has never taken me up on those offers.
• Has had to borrow money off her parents multiple times, just to pay rent and bills.

Ive told her that her finances were preventing us from moving in together, she promised that she would start a budget and start to save. That conversation was 5 years ago, she went as far as to open a emergency fund that has sat on $0 but didn’t set a budget up and has saved nothing since then.
She can sometimes get defensive when I ask how her financial situation is going, stating things like “its non of your business” or “Sorry I'm not a lawyer”, but will most of the time be fairly upfront about it.
I have started to get negative remarks from her and her family regarding the relationship and how I spend my money, I recently went on short holiday by myself, and was hit with negative remarks regarding why I don’t pay for her to go on holidays.
The thing is she is aware of how bad the situation is. She is upset she cant travel or move in with me but nothing calls upon actual action or change. I know she wants to move somewhere a bit cheaper to save on rent, so maybe thats a start.
My questions to reddit are the following.
Am I being too strict with my expectations? With a budget and some discipline she would be fine, I am not asking for her to suddenly be a millionaire.
Should I just see the writing on the wall, accept that this will most likely never change and end the relationship, has anyone else been in a situation like this where a good outcome was achieved? I do love her and we get along really well, but Im starting to feel like I'm wasting my time here. I know the typical advice is to communicate with her about this, but we talk about this every month and nothing changes, she is fully aware that this is a problem and is sometimes very stressed about her finances but doesnt put anything into action.
Let me know your thoughts. Thanks
TLDR: Girlfriend is bad with money, any advice or prior experience with a situation like this?

as childe fans, we must unfortunately accept the reality that his constellations are mid. Of course, it’s good for people who can’t afford to have constellations, since there’s nothing really worthwhile, and they aren’t REALLY terrible. But compared to new characters, his constellations aren’t very worthwhile. So i had an idea - what if he had better constellations? I had some ideas as for what I would change in his cons, so feel free to tell me what you think :) I’m not gonna list the original constellations effects, so if you don’t know i suggest looking it up…im not typing all that New c1: decreases cooldown by 25%, additionally increases his skill’s max duration by 5 secs. his original c1 is pretty fine on its own, so i didn’t change too much
New c2: when opponents affected by riptide are defeated, restores 4 energy and unleashes an additional riptide dealing AOE damage equal to a high percent of his atk.
c3 and c5 stay the same obviously.
New c4: extends riptide’s duration to 25 secs. Additionally, when tartaglia is off field, triggers riptide every 1.5 seconds. Hitting opponents affected by riptide increases his normal and charged atk by 30%. Many people think his c4 is the biggest problem in his cons, and i see why. So i decided to give him some more off-field support utility, while also not ruining his onfield nuke.
new c6: If tartaglia enters the melee state within 30 seconds of using his ranged burst, the following effects will be gained: -All riptide’s crit rate and crit dmg will be increased to 100/160 respectively -every second he is in melee mode, his dmg increases by 2%, up to a max of 100%. -after the duration of his melee stance ends, there will be no cooldown. His original c6 is great if you want to make him a solo character, but it’s still kind of meh in general. So i gave him a lot more damage potential in his new c6.
Also, his kit has like 5 different types of riptide, so my bad for not specifying. 💀 so that was all, feel free to share yalls thoughts :)

Modern media can embellish people and actions that are actually ugly, unproductive and anti-humane. The mega-popular TV presenter Tucker Carlson (the programmers of the X/Twitter social network are currently working on the artificially inflated ratings of his programs) published an interview with Alexander Dugin, who in the West has a reputation as an influential intellectual and academic philosopher, although in both cases it is not true. In fact, Dugin just likes to read and talk. He really reads a lot, in particular, philosophical works, but he quotes and interprets all these in a free manner, skillfully and manipulatively adapting the opinions of other thinkers and various facts to himself.
Dugin is a pseudo-intellectual who, however, a skillful orator and knows how to impress people. The philosophical community of Russian academic circles openly disrespect Dugin. He is popular among the radical far-right public, who never read his printed works, but only know his repeated appeals and slogans as “protection of traditional values”, “protection of traditional families”, “protection and spread of the Russian language and culture”, “the supremacy of true Christian Russia over the rotten West, which has plunged into Satan’s Kingdom” and so on. It is noteworthy that Dugin is considered one of the main creators of the ideology of the “Russkiy mir”, while the latter is not generally accepted ideology in Russia, but a mixture of different views (which sometimes contradict each other).
It is quite interesting that Carlson and Dugin complained about the ban on the works of the “Eurasian philosopher” in the United States and the impossibility of purchasing his translated English books on the Amazon service. At the same time, both of them did not mention the facts of total censorship inside Russia or mass arrests and convictions for spreading true news about the Russian Federation's war against Ukraine, etc.
In any case, no matter how extravagant Dugin's views are, he looks quite presentable for a Western audience in Carlson's interview. The latter may perceive him as an intellectual with some deviations, or, in the worst case, as a useful idiot. However, there are no statements in the interview with “Putin's brains” on Carlson’s YouTube channel for which Dugin is so loved and respected in Russia; namely about his calls to destroy Ukrainians, kill Ukrainian children, fight bravely against the civilization of the satanic West, not be afraid to use nuclear intercontinental ballistic missiles, etc.
In general, anyone in the West who takes a deep interest in Dugin’s personality, carefully reads his works and critically listens to his interviews, is guaranteed to be horrified by this aggressive pseudo-philosophical delusion. However, being maximum loyal to the interviewer, a relatively short video story (a 20-minute conversation) on a mega-popular YouTube channel can, unfortunately, rise the popularity of a cult Russian neo-fascist, chauvinist, xenophobe and imperialist in the West.

Tetsu was on the TV program "This is a side note, but..." on 5/15 alongside Hisashi from GLAY. You can watch the program here with a VPN set to Japan (available until 5/22): https://tver.jp/episodes/epp2yhtg7y
Some highlights:

• Tetsu and Hisashi talked about how L'Arc and GLAY were portrayed as rivals, and this fueled each band to outdo the other. Tetsu said since GLAY had a concert with 200,000 people in one day (setting the Guinness world record at the time), L'Arc decided to do the Grand Cross tour with 125,000 people each day over two days. And since GLAY released two singles simultaneously in 1998, L'Arc decided to release three singles and then two albums simultaneously.
• L'Arc and GLAY played in the same concert in their indies days in 1992. Tetsu doesn't remember, but Hisashi said that one of GLAY's staff members told them, "You guys suck, go watch L'Arc's rehearsal and learn from them!" So all four members of GLAY lined up to watch L'Arc's rehearsal. Hisashi thought that they were really good, no wonder they're popular!
• Tetsu told the story of how he met Hyde and kept trying to persuade him to join him even though Hyde already had his own band. He went to all of Hyde's band's concerts and tried to persuade Hyde to join him at the afterparties, even though Hyde's bandmates were right there too. The interviewer asked if the other members couldn't compare to Hyde, and Tetsu said, "It seemed like only Hyde was shining."
• Tetsu also told the story of how he started playing bass at age 14 from Ken's recommendation, and how he originally though bass would be easier than guitar because bass only has four strings rather than six. "Yes! Ken-senpai! What's a bass?" And then after seeing the bass and how big it is, he wondered why he has to play bass when he's smaller than Ken.
• Tetsu also talked about when Hyde quit the band in 2002. Hyde sent a letter to Tetsu that was delivered to him by a staff member. Tetsu said Hyde would only come to such a conclusion after thinking about it for a long time, so he thought there was no way to change his mind and accepted the decision. The four of them got together to talk and they decided to disband. But then a staff member told Tetsu, "If you're the leader, you should stop him!" And then Tetsu thought for the first time, "I'm supposed to stop him??" Then he and Hyde talked just the two of them, and he managed to persuade Hyde to try to stay with the band for a bit longer.
  • Hisashi said, "That staff member was saying what everyone was thinking!" And one of the hosts said, "You definitely had to stop him! Our youth!!"
• The PVs for Driver's High, Hitomi no Juunin, and Finale each cost 100 million yen to make! (Tetsu said the Pieces PV also cost that much to make on his radio show.) Tetsu said he received offers to appear in movies in the past, but the movies had a smaller budget than their PVs, so he thought there's no point being in those movies. (At the exchange rate in 1999, that amount was equivalent to roughly $877,000.)
• A kid asked Hisashi and Tetsu what are their favorite fruits. Tetsu's is melon!
• Another kid asked if GLAY and L'Arc members ever fight, and said it seems like at least GLAY get along well. 😂 Hisashi confirmed that the GLAY members all get along well since they started as friends in the same high school who formed a band together, but commented that L'Arc isn't like that, right?
• Tetsu said that he tends to make suggestions, but they get rejected by the other members. Ideas in general tend to get shelved if even one member is somewhat against it. He also said that the L'Arc members tend to talk to each other through staff members. One time, another member got really mad at Tetsu, but he only heard about it through the staff. Since they don't talk to each other about the issues directly, he feels that it's easy to be misunderstood since the messages change when it's passed through multiple staff members. Tetsu said he's working hard to change this setup because it's definitely not good.
• One kid asked how much money do GLAY and L'Arc have. Hisashi said he's an employee of GLAY's company (label) and gets a salary from it. Tetsu was really curious about that and said to Hisashi that he wants to hear more about their structure. Hisashi said GLAY has their own company and they run their own management, and the members are employees of the company.
• Hisashi said they actually make a lot of money from the streaming services! Even just in one month, it's a lot of money. Tetsu was really surprised that Hisashi knows these numbers, because he doesn't see them, and also L'Arc is probably set up so that the "adults" get most of the money, not the band. So he wants to change that structure.
• Another kid asked what are their favorite cars. Tetsu's is Ferarri from the 60s and 70s.
• Another question was if the bands have any plans to retire. Tetsu said no!

The whole show was really interesting! But the part about the management structure and Tetsu being interested in GLAY having their own label was especially so. Tetsu said on his radio show that the reason why L'Arc isn't that active is not because the members are too busy with solo projects -- there are a lot of problems with the label, management, staff, and music copyrights. He wants to change various aspects of it because he doesn't think it's right that they have to stay with the same team from the time they debuted 30 years ago. I had read various reports in the Japanese media about things like L'Arc's label didn't pay them the appropriate fees and that they released a DVD without the members' consent. Supposedly, Tetsu and Hyde want to leave the label, but Ken is against it and Yukihiro is on the fence. It's hard to know how much of these reports is true, but seeing Tetsu on this show speaking openly about his dissatisfaction with the management structure makes me think there is some degree of truth to those reports.
I was curious about how GLAY came to form their own label, and it turns out they were engaged in a lawsuit with their former label over similar issues (unpaid fees, music copyright).
After the show, Hisashi tweeted that he wants to do a joint concert with L'Arc! He's the third member of GLAY to say this recently (Teru and Takuro said the same thing on a radio show last month). The tweet currently has over 6 million views, and lots of fans are excited and hoping that a GLAY x L'Arc concert can become a reality! But they're wondering where such a large concert could be held because it probably needs a capacity of at least 100k or 200k, and the war for tickets would be a bloodbath.

How Can Communities Support the Development of Sports for People with Disabilities?

Supporting the development of sports for people with disabilities is essential to promoting inclusion, physical health, and social integration. Communities play a vital role in creating opportunities, providing resources, and fostering an environment where individuals with disabilities can thrive in sports. Here are several ways communities can support this development:

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1. Creating Inclusive Sports Programs

• Accessible Facilities: Ensure sports facilities are accessible to people with disabilities. This includes having ramps, wide doorways, accessible restrooms, and adaptive sports equipment.
• Inclusive Activities: Develop sports programs that cater to a wide range of disabilities and skill levels, allowing everyone to participate.
• Unified Sports: Promote unified sports where athletes with and without disabilities play together, fostering inclusion and teamwork.

2. Providing Training and Education

• Coach Training: Offer specialized training for coaches to understand the needs and abilities of athletes with disabilities, teaching them how to adapt their coaching methods.
• Education Programs: Educate community members about the importance of inclusive sports and the benefits they bring to individuals with disabilities.
• Workshops and Clinics: Host workshops and clinics to teach adaptive sports techniques and strategies to both coaches and athletes.

3. Fostering Community Involvement

• Volunteer Opportunities: Encourage community members to volunteer at events and programs, assisting with coaching, organizing, and providing support.
• Parental Involvement: Engage parents and family members by involving them in activities and decision-making processes related to sports programs.
• Local Partnerships: Partner with local businesses, schools, and organizations to sponsor events, provide funding, and offer resources.

4. Promoting Awareness and Advocacy

• Awareness Campaigns: Launch campaigns to raise awareness about the abilities of athletes with disabilities and the importance of inclusive sports.
• Advocacy Groups: Support and create advocacy groups that promote the rights and needs of people with disabilities in the community.
• Public Events: Organize public events and competitions that highlight the achievements of athletes with disabilities, promoting their talents and fostering community support.

5. Providing Financial Support

• Funding and Grants: Seek funding and grants from local governments, businesses, and non-profits to support the development and sustainability of sports programs for people with disabilities.
• Scholarships: Offer scholarships and financial assistance to athletes with disabilities to help cover the costs of equipment, training, and travel.
• Fundraising Events: Organize fundraising events to generate financial support for inclusive sports programs and facilities.

6. Building a Supportive Infrastructure

• Adapted Equipment: Invest in adapted sports equipment that accommodates various disabilities, ensuring all athletes have the tools they need to participate.
• Transportation Services: Provide accessible transportation services to and from sports facilities and events.
• Safety Measures: Implement safety measures and protocols tailored to the needs of athletes with disabilities to ensure a safe and supportive environment.

7. Encouraging Peer Support and Mentorship

• Peer Mentorship Programs: Establish mentorship programs where experienced athletes with disabilities mentor newcomers, offering guidance, support, and encouragement.
• Support Groups: Create support groups for athletes and their families to share experiences, advice, and resources.
• Social Activities: Organize social activities and events that foster camaraderie and a sense of community among athletes.

8. Utilizing Technology and Innovation

• Adaptive Technology: Incorporate adaptive technology to assist athletes with disabilities in training and competition, such as specialized software and adaptive fitness equipment.
• Virtual Training Programs: Develop virtual training programs and resources that athletes can access remotely, providing flexibility and additional support.
• Data and Analytics: Use data and analytics to track progress, identify areas for improvement, and tailor programs to meet the specific needs of athletes with disabilities.

9. Celebrating Achievements and Milestones

• Recognition Programs: Implement recognition programs that celebrate the achievements and milestones of athletes with disabilities, boosting their confidence and motivation.
• Awards and Honors: Present awards and honors at events and competitions to recognize the hard work and dedication of athletes, coaches, and volunteers.
• Media Coverage: Promote the successes of athletes with disabilities through local media, social media, and community newsletters, raising their profile and inspiring others.

10. Collaborating with National and International Organizations

• Partnerships: Partner with national and international organizations that specialize in sports for people with disabilities, such as the Special Olympics, to share resources, expertise, and best practices.
• Exchange Programs: Participate in exchange programs that allow athletes to compete and train in different regions, broadening their experiences and opportunities.
• Global Initiatives: Support and participate in global initiatives and events that promote inclusive sports and advocate for the rights of individuals with disabilities.

Conclusion

Communities play a pivotal role in supporting the development of sports for people with disabilities. By creating inclusive programs, providing training and education, fostering community involvement, promoting awareness, offering financial support, building supportive infrastructure, encouraging peer support, utilizing technology, celebrating achievements, and collaborating with broader organizations, communities can ensure that individuals with disabilities have equal opportunities to participate in sports. These efforts not only enhance the physical and mental well-being of athletes but also contribute to a more inclusive and accepting society.

I wanted to post this because I see many going through a similar, tough buying time. I hope my story gives you a boost and helps you keep going. There is my sad backstory that you can skip to "Dec, 2020" that starts the home journey. This post is extremely long but emotional for me. Please be kind.
The only house i ever lived in was my uncles, for 2 years (age 3-5) before he removed us.
My mother suffers from many tribulations, and it was reflected in life. We apartment hopped for all of my childhood. I'll never forget how hurt I was, leaving behind my valuables everytime we downsized, (dressers, my desk, doll houses etc) being cramped, no pets allowed (i love animals), neighbors banging on their ceilings when I played, hearing families fight as if they next to me, smoke coming in the windows, constant new neighbors, roaches and other infestations due to neighbors, etc.
My mom would drive around and say, “this is going to be our new house!” And get my hopes up, but it never happened. My sister (she's 5 years older) said she would buy a house for us all, and that lasted a few months before we were evicted again, moving to another apartment.
I asked constantly when we could get a house like my uncle or sister. My father had one (my parents divorced when I was an infant), and when I visited, I wished I had my own backyard, pets. I was jealous of my friends who lived in houses. I would pretend vacant homes were mine, walk to the new homes being built, and watch their progress. Imagine my future in it where my kids would know stability.
After Bullying in school (from 4th - 12th grade), SA from my father, (i was 15) neglect, abuse, depression, self harm, apartment hopping, I was desperate to move out and away once I turned 16 (emancipation). I moved from NJ when i was 18 to FL and started my own downhill spiral of DV, homelessness, repossessions, and other mentally and physically draining circumstances that pushed my limits, money, and everything
In 2017, I picked up my pieces and gathered them, alone, to AZ into the best apartment and neighborhood i ever had. I told myself that after a year, I was going to buy a home there. In 2018, I reached out to realtors and was told all I needed to do was pay off 2k of credit card debt to qualify for 250-300k. The dumbest decision I ever made was saying spending 2k was stupid. I wish I had the recourses, support, anything, or anyone to tell me to do it. had I done it, I could have bought my dream home then for 200-275k
In Dec 2020, I had been with my now husband for 3 years, went through hell in the apartments he wanted us to move to for more space, away from that neighborhood I loved. Someone stole our bikes, smoked weed next to our window, and then our new car was stolen and required 3k in repairs. I was miserable. I wanted to end the cycle of apartments and putting away my wants and needs, so we decided to begin paying things off to get pre qualified. Then came the new battlefield.
As you all know, 2021 until today, it hasn't been a buyers market. I had no idea what any of that meant until I was told I was approved to start putting in offers in January 2022. We were pre approved for a max of FHA 350k from a lender that I was sure had our backs after getting tons of denials and pisspoor brokers who couldn't care less about my childhood dream. I pulled up the MLS and saved about 30 homes a week, if not more, that were 375k and below, all the way down to 150k trailer homes, condos, townhomes, and houses.
Half of those listings were sold (pending) within 5 days. the other half we were bidding upwards against. I couldn't believe it. I was told the market is hot, lots of people selling their homes in bordering states and putting higher end offers on the homes in our price range because they were selling their homes for 500k and using the differences to buy the cheap homes. The others were investors.
After doing all of the work for my husband and roommate and then some to qualify, I was now battling 15+ people on one home multiple times. I was told to try going further out. The market I was in was too desirable. I was like, REALLY? PEOPLE GET SHOT HERE ONCE A WEEK, HOW IS THIS NEIGHBORHOOD, "HOT"??? I was told to shop beneath my budget, shop outside the location I wanted, everything you are all being told today to, "land a home, stay in it for five years, then sell it and get what I want." But I heard none of it, I wanted my DREAM home on my first buy, which wasn't a lot.
All I wanted was a 1300-2000sqft home with a front and backyard for my dog and kids, a house that didn't need a crap ton of repairs, and a neighborhood I felt comfortable in so that I wouldnt have to deal with all the things I did since I was little. I didn't care if it was upgraded, carpeted, or tile, old or new, I just wanted space, safety, a yard.
It didn't matter. Even if I sacrificed a yard, square footage, whatever, I was getting outbid. Every home I could afford was being bought in cash, waiving inspections, having a 14 day close, and/or being bought 25k to upwards of almost 200k over asking even if it was a fixer upper!! I could not compete.
In April, I FINALLY had an offer accepted in a town that was 30 minutes from work, building up, and beautiful. I was willing to sacrifice commute time and everything for this beautiful house that checked all the boxes. It was 2,060 sqft, upstairs and downstairs, a 5k lot, in a beautiful neighborhood. We were able to get a third cosigner (lomg time friend) to up our income and get to 375k. But then I found out my preapproval wasn't so pre approved.
Having a 3rd co signer meant nothing. We needed to reserve money that we weren't informed about, DPA wanted us to pay off more debt, and we needed more income than the THREE of us had. I was livid, why didnt they tell us any of this? Why did they say our income was enough, and the DPA would cover everything?! I knew nothing, I tell you, nothing, and I should have researched more. But I was desperate.
My grandma stepped in. First, she needed a credit score. She opened up an unsecured credit card for 300. Bought gum, paid it off. We did a rapid rescore, and it shot her up to 7 freggin 735, SEVEN THIRTY FIVE LMFAO, and then we needed her social security letters. Which took two weeks too long, pushing back a close the seller REALLY WANTED TO CLOSE ON, which my realtor convinced them to hold off. Well, guess what? My grandma doesn't have a government id. She hadn't updated her id since 2005. No biggie, we'll get her to the DMV, which we had to reschedule online to 3 different locations. Well, guess what? Her mail, old id, her social security card, AND BIRTH CERTIFICATE all had DIFFERENT VARIATIONS of her name, and DMV couldn't verify her identity.
It would take two months to correct those issues. I threw my phone, scratched my arms to oblivion, fell on my knees, and cried. The lender said there was no way the loan was to be approved without Grandma. My sweet Grandma of 4 different names. I feel the tears, even now. I lost it. I fought for a home all my life and lost it because of being uninformed, way too broke ( I know I know), and then some. I felt like the universe was against me.
So May comes around, and my realtor says, "Listen, let's try this. Let's do rent to own. They pay for everything, and then you save, fix your credit, and buy the house back at the value of the contract paying the difference in appraisal if need be."
I was so broken that I did it. Back to the MLS, we still couldn't get a home in our price range in the neighborhoods I wanted. Rental price was going to be 3,100, so... we stuck to the 30-minute away neighborhood, and oh god, was that a new mistake. The first house we put an offer in on was accepted immediately. It was the smoothest process I'd ever seen in comparison to the hell I'd just gone through. I checked the MLS every day, watched homes I saved while I rented go pending or under contract in a week, or sell for over asking.
My heart sunk when all the homes I wanted and lost out to were back on the market as a rental property, or were slightly updated prices 50k-100k higher than before. Homes were being sold by opendoor, or rental from the very people I used to buy to rent from. I couldn't believe to this day how many homes I lost out to, sitting vacant for MONTHS prices dropping and dropping as the feds raised the interest rates. I went to open houses, asked what people wanted for offers (so I could be informed when I was ready), and knew my chances were getting slimmer and slimmer.
All the while, my commute was the devil. Traffic galore, accidents making my drive time go from 30-2 hours to and from. It was far from family, the mileage on my car grew so fast, my tires were wearing faster. The home was way too big for us (2765 sqft) and difficult to maintain. Beautiful home and town, but not for me.
The rent was also too high. It said it would be 2500, but wound up being 3100 after all of the damn fees they didn't disclose until AFTER WE WERE UNDER CONTRACT sflkghskg The electric bill was 6x the amount (bad company. People in that town are begnning to organize), water bill company demands 100 dollars no matter the usage (we only use about 60$), and the gas prices increased so high I was putting 60 dollars every 3 days in my car.
Then, my precious cat that followed me from NJ to AZ that had been with me through all of the DV, mental breaks, homelessness, had suffered from strokes. She was a stick, walking in circles, giving nothing but love. I tried everything I could, paid thousands to save her, but in the end, all I did was prolong her and my suffering. She passed in my arms. I love you and miss you, Emma.
Other life things happened, and by December, I had 200 dollars in the bank. When my income tax came, I applied for loans and said Im going to try the DPA and stuff again, It was either that, or rent a smaller house or apartment but seeing the market repeat my 2021 experience, I had to try with what I had. My goal was to get back to the neighborhood I wanted. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So I switched realtors based on a recommendation from FB. Random person said this lady would fight for me like no one else would. This realtor recommended me a lender, she said it could make miracles happen. I almost didn't do it because I had been let down by 2 other lenders before this one in 2023, but screw it. I followed his advice to the T of what to pay down, what to keep, and what to negotiate with. We gave him our 401ks info, our paystubs, had 3 of us on the loan, and explained we had no downpayment, just money for closing costs.
The market, at this point, slowed down due to the interest rates but was beginning to pick up. A lot of the homes we put offers on didn't like our asks. Which was disappointing, but I understood. What seller would want to pay closing costs for us so our payment assistance would go strictly to the home when they could accept the few cash, investor, or better conventional loan offers? The homes were going below listing, which was cool, but not quite in my 365k max range.
Until I gave way a little bit. There were 2 townhomes. One that was detached and had the most gorgeous yard Id ever seen for where it was at, and the inside was completely upgraded and bigger than it looked with a gorgeous mountain view from the master. But it was in a neighborhood that gave me goosebumps. No wonder they would accept 365k and pay everything should we put in our offer lol I couldn't do it, though. I didn't want to sacrifice being comfortable in my home safely to have a house. It was the first and only time I was picky.
At first, that seemed like a mistake, as the only other home I thought would accept our offer in my dream neighborhood said the seller had a specific number they wanted to sell at, which wasnt 365k, it was 375k. I wasn't going to get a home after all. I knew my ask was tough, and I wasn't going to get a house despite trying for another 3 months. I gave up. But then... I thought about something. That townhome in the neighborhood of my dreams, they wanted 375k? I restructured our ask to get to that 375k. A few hours later, my realtor texted me if she could call. It was urgent.
I was at work and went into the office and called. THE SELLER ACCEPTED OUR OFFER, THEY ACCEPTED OUR EFFING OFFER! THEY ACCEPTED IT!!!! I cried so hard, hyperventilated, cried some more, and told myself I wasn't going to get excited. I had this happen before, after all.
Well, guess what? Long story short, after hurdles during this closing as well, needing to push it back for this or that, WE CLOSED!! WE CLOSED ON THE HOUSE, IT WAS MINE!!! IT IS MINE!
The seller paid for all of the closing costs. DPA paid the downpayment at 3%. The rate was 6.85%, DPA loan at 8%. I paid for the appraisal and inspection, that's it. Only 1100 out of pocket. Monthly payment was 2865, my max, but it is MINE and EVERYTHING I wanted besides having a huge yard (it's still a decent sized yard) and open kitchen Home is 8 min from work (bye bye crappy commute!),community has incredible amenities, sub division has a pool, HOA covered roof (it was new anyway), new AC, new dishwasher, freshly painted, 3 beds 2 and a half baths, 1400sqft, 2 car garage with driveway, upstairs and downstairs like I always imagined, and so much more.
Every hurdle, every tear, every breakdown, taught me what I needed to know and led me to home. After saving for a year with the cheaper electric, water, gas prices, and mortgage, we just refinanced. Got a 5.75% rate (I thought it was 5.32, but after we closed today, it was 5.75%), the home appraised for 395k with no changes besides adding a fridge and new oven. The equity paid every penny of the refinance and the DPA loan. My mortgage is now 2550. For us, this is affordable now that we are debt free and still have savings!
I got my home with the most undesirable circumstances. I may be an exception, not the rule, but if my pathetic self can do it, i promise. You can, too. Don't be defeated. Don't let the investors win.
You need to win.

Sorry in advance for how long this is. Just trying to give you all the details.
TL;DR-BF was fired from new job in two days after calling out multiple safety and quality issues.
My boyfriend started a new job yesterday at a medical cannabis facility. When he was filling out paperwork, he noticed some discrepancies between the paperwork & what was discussed during the interview/ acceptance process. He asked about it and was told that they could talk to HR later on.
When he was brought out to the floor, shown how to trim a singular plant & then basically left unsupervised for the rest of the day. Now my boyfriend does have a really good work ethic and he keeps busy so he ended up trimming a bunch of plants & actually found several aphid infested plants. He brought it up to someone who shrugged it off & asked him to go clean. While he was doing that he noticed equipment & tools that had their cords repaired/replaced with extension cords, standing puddles of water, & water running from broken drainage systems into walkways so he brought it up to the safety lead who said "yeah that's just how it is here". Just to give a little background my boyfriend worked for a multi billion dollar manufacturing company before this. He has years of experience with quality, safety, GMPs, SOPs etc.
When HR was called the rep said that that if he had a problem with how things were done then he could resign. He said that the rep told him he had an attitude problem & cussed at him calling him a lazy asshole among other things. He told her he felt disrespected and asked her why she felt the need to act this way when he was just trying to get clarification about his schedule, pay rate, & unsafe conditions. The rep basically told him she could just fire him right now because we are an "as is" state.
The facility manager was on the call as well & started recording it after the rep went off & cussed at him. When she made the firing comment he said that he felt that was unnecessary due to the fact that they are short staffed. At that point my bf asked if he could leave since it was an hour past his scheduled shift & the manager ended the call & told him that if he didn't hear from him to come back the next day.
My boyfriend never heard anything and went back in this morning, he was asked to clean all the bathrooms in the facility and then an hour before his clock out time they pulled him aside and said they were firing him because he wasn't a good fit for them.
I told him to call OSHA which he did and OSHA directed him to whistleblower.gov and he filled out that form as well. I don't really know what else we can do. Part of the problem is that I am trying to get a business off the ground after quitting my job in August because my dad died. My boyfriend left his old job because the schedule was hell and started this job and now we're in a situation where he doesn't have any income. He can apply for unemployment, but I just don't feel like how he was treated is okay. Any advice is appreciated♡

Was already accepted a couple months ago (woo!) but I'm starting to get worried because I cant really make this degree happen financially if I cant fund it. Hoping that they are just slow and haven't gotten back to people yet but if anyone has heard anything from Cambridge Trust or Colleges for college specific scholarships, I would appreciate any comments
Going for a Mphil and will be in Wolfson college, coming from America so im paying the whopping international fee

Hi FTHB!
I have found a nearly perfect home except for minor things and that it is about 15k over my top end.
It came on the market yesterday and I toured today. I was not the only one. The Seller’s agent messaged my agent and said one bid was already placed and anticipated a second.
Does this normally mean the asking price will be met? I was planning to give an offer in a week but now I’m debating submitting one with my pricing and hope for the best... I’m overthinking this all and any insights/thinking/ advice would be appreciated.
I assume they will get asking plus some if they have multiple offers but then again if the accept a lower than what I would offer, I would be slightly upset at myself. Part of me says be patient and the other one says submit a bid. I will not allow emotions to win and bid over my amount. (Unless lender can work Magic in 24 hrs with extremely low rates…)
Edit: I am not in a HCOL or VHCOL area and so it is not every house that is fought over once they first hit the market.

On May 17th, 2019, hip hop artist Tyler the Creator wrote one of the most critically acclaimed albums of the year, Igor. A follow up to Flower Boy, Tyler the Creator leaned more into neo-soul and funk production to create a concept album with a story. It describes a love triangle between him as Igor, a male love interest, and the male love interest’s girlfriend. Igor catapulted Tyler into mainstream success and led him to reconstruct his past as a shock rapper. Aesthetically, for the rollout he dressed up as the titular character with a suit and a blonde wig, creating a new alter ego for this album. With all the critical acclaim, Igor won the Best Rap Album in the 2020 Grammy Awards. However, this sparked a discourse, especially from Tyler himself, if this album was fitting for the category considering its pop production. We’ll be taking a look at the tracks to refresh our minds about the story that started this iconic rollout.

Tracklist

IGOR’S THEME
The intro to Igor that displays the theme of circles and running. repeatedly. “Running around town, they going to feel this one” and “got my eyes open” are sung repeatedly by Solange and Lil Uzi Vert through synthesizers.
EARFQUAKE
The lead single to Igor features a verse from Playboi Carti and background vocals from Charlie Wilson and Jessy Wilson. It perfectly sets the overall scene of the plot of a codependent relationship, where Igor can’t get enough of his lover.
I THINK
The third track of this album which features background vocals from Solange. This song features the start of the infatuation of Igor and his love interest. However, Igor assures that this is starting to be more than just feelings. We also see another theme with the line “I’m your puppet, you are Jim Henson,” which we’ll later see in puppet. Also, I think (pun intended) this track is a very clear homage to Pharrell’s production style with the four count.
EXACTLY WHAT YOU RUN FROM YOU END UP CHASING
The only interlude in this album, where Jerrod Carmichael talks about the cycles of love. It foreshadows how Tyler will run away from his lover, where in the beginning Igor was chasing him. A huge omen that this romance will not end in a happy ending.
RUNNING OUT OF TIME
This song discusses how Igor feels like that he has not much time with his lover. We see that his lover might not feel the same way. However, Igor is getting more and more infatuated with his lover to where he feels like he’s drowning.”
NEW MAGIC WAND
This song opens up with Jerrod Carmichael, “Sometimes you gotta close a door to open a window.” Closing the door is a reference to how Igor want his lover to end his current relationship so he can spend more time with him. The new magic wand can describe how much Igor wants his lover’s girlfriend to be out of the picture. Possibly, considering murdering her, we can see that Igor’s love has gotten very obsessive.
A BOY IS A GUN\*
Well, if I had two nickels if someone used a sample from “Bound” by the Ponderosa twins… “A BOY IS A GUN*” talks about how Igor’s relationship has turned sour. His lover doesn’t want to return his affections, he invites his ex to breakfast with Igor, Igor realizes that his relationship isn’t living up to his dreams. Igor chants at the end, “Stay the fuck away from me,” arriving full circle with exactly what you run from you end up chasing.
PUPPET
This is where we see the other side of the story, where Igor doesn’t feel he has much autonomy in this relationship. Rather than in the previous tracks, where we see him being controlling over his lover, this time Igor feels like the puppet. We can see that the relationship is definitely not 50/50.
WHAT’S GOOD
“BITCH I’M IGOR!” Tyler the Creator is flexing his production skills to show that Igor really lost it. At this point, he has fully become the villain - Igor.
GONE, GONE/THANK YOU
Tyler’s iconic two song in one in the tenth track is here. And here we see the positive/negative sides of a breakup of a toxic relations. GONE, GONE shows the bittersweetness of a breakup, pretending where everything’s fine but reality everything has gone to shambles. This is especially heard in the passive aggressive lyrics but with a very happy-sounding production. THANK YOU shows the more accepting stage of the breakup but realizing how much Igor is hurt from this experience.
I DON’T LOVE YOU ANYMORE
We see that Igor is hurt over the relationship, but can’t get over the relationship. He tries to tell himself repeatedly that he doesn’t like his crush anymore. However, this shows that he hasn’t matured or grown as he sounds like as angry as a child.
ARE WE STILL FRIENDS?
The outro shows the overall accepting maturity of Igor about the former relationship. He hopes to repair it by making it platonic. There is still a hint of whether or not he still like him, but he knows that he has to move on and close this chapter. This also features a guitar solo from Jack White, wrapping up the theme of love vs. infatuation.

Links

Spotify Apple Music Youtube
Music Videos
EARFQUAKE I THINK A BOY IS A GUN*
Featured in popheads
[FRESH] Thread Pollen Rate

Discussion Questions

1. What’s your favorite song on Igor?
2. What genre would you label Igor in? Do you think Tyler had a point in that Igor isn’t a rap album?
3. Which one of Tyler’s frequent collaborators not featured in Igor would you have like to seen in this project?
4. Do you consider Igor to be his magnum opus? Where would you rank it in Tyler’s discography?

Depending on the conditions of the scholarship and your field of study, you may have to choose between the GRE General Test and the GRE Subject Test.
GRE General Test
Advantages:

• Widely Required: Accepted by most programs and scholarships.
• General Use: Suitable for various disciplines.
• Flexible Scheduling: Offered year-round.

GRE Subject Test
Advantages:

• Specialized Knowledge: Highlights expertise in specific fields.
• Differentiation: Can distinguish you in specialized areas.
• Program-Specific: Preferred for certain scholarships in technical fields.

Conclusion
The GRE General Test is typically more adaptable if the scholarship is vague. On the other hand, a GRE Subject Test may provide you an advantage in certain sectors. Manya - The Princeton Review is a great resource for preparation as it provides thorough guidance for both exams.

I posted about this before but I was the one who started having light periods in November coincidentally after my synthroid dose was raised too high , when I talked to my endocrinologist about this , she put it down to PCOS and my weight , the latter of which didn’t make since . I’ve had heavy periods up until last year October , and my weight didn’t change dramatically in the space of a month.
Then I talked to my mom about it and she suggest I order soy isoflavones from Amazon which has helped another family member in China with the same problem . Meanwhile, after 3 months of light periods in a row ( Nov - Jan ) and this no longer being a one off thing , I saw my family doctor who ordered blood tests and ultrasound which showed no abnormalities. The only thing picked up was that my estrogen levels were slightly low . He also suggested that I have PCOS . Yes I’ve had the symptoms since the start of puberty but the light periods were a very recent development.
In January I started taking soy isoflavones, and checked my thyroid. My thyroid test came up high which suggested my dose was too high . I took the soy pills for a month and in February to my relief I had one long heavy period like the ones I’ve used to . I told my endocrinologist that my periods were back and she said it was because I lost 5 pounds 🙄. I lost 5 pounds due to my synthroid being too high , causing light periods , unexplained sweating ( to the point I feared that I may be having a heart attack ) and drumming in my ear . I didn’t work to lose weight at all .
After February I thought the problem was solved and stopped taking the soy pills . A month later at the beginning of March it came again but slightly lighter . Then when I went back to China for a month in March - April it didn’t come at all and there was nothing until late April . Due to that , I accepted the offer to reduce synthroid dose further . I didn’t take the soy pills at all during vacation . Resumed taking on April 9th and got a bit of brown blood and spotting around April 19th . Then yesterday I started another heavy period, the first one in two months .
I now suspect that my estrogen is indeed too low , recent blood tests shows such and my testosterone level and A1c is rising . I wonder if with low estrogen I’m unable to produce a healthy endometrium every single month without soy ( fake estrogen) supplements? In other words not able to have a normal period flow without supplements.
Sorry for this rant , just sharing my thoughts . I gusss I will take the supplements for the long term then as there are no side effects .
I am also fed up with the fact that the endo put everything down to my weight . Same thing happened last year when for some unknown reason my ALT shot to 255 when even with fatty liver it shouldn’t be higher than 50. I was really struggling with multiple food sensitivities developing at a rapid rate due to my liver not able to process them . It took 6 months for my ALT to go down without any changes to my weight and since had continued to decline towards the normal range . Meanwhile the doctors tried to lecture me on healthy eating and losing weight when that likely isn’t the cause .

for the clinical psych PhD prog a masters isn’t required but does anybody know how to get in with a BBA in cis for your undergrad? Ik the acceptance rate is already at like 3% for the program

I’ve been accepted to Middlesex University in Dubai, but the tuition fees are quite high for me. In addition to the university scholarship, I’m interested in applying for other scholarships. Could someone here provide guidance?

I'm considering staying at a youth shelter from September to January and working to save money. During this time, I plan to rent a PO box at USPS to receive mail and apply for jobs. I will also get a gym membership to take showers, rent a vehicle storage unit for my car, and store my belongings. Additionally, I will rent a box at the bank to keep all important documents safe. Then, I'll complete all the necessary paperwork to establish residency quickly, such as changing my Virginia driver's license to California, updating my car's registration, and opening a bank account. I believe I can secure a job that pays $20 an hour, and I plan to work 25 hours a week due to my mental health. This should allow me to save around $1,000 a month. Then, in January, I will attempt to join the Transitional Age Youth (TAY) program. It will be challenging because I will turn 25 in December, so I won't qualify for many TAY programs since most have an age requirement of 18-24. If I get in, I believe I will be able to get free or lower rate housing. From January 2025 to January 2026, I will be participating in Year Up. During the first six months, I will only earn enough from Year Up to cover food expenses, but the last six months should be sufficient to cover my monthly costs. After Year Up, I plan to start community college again. I've looked into SMC, and they have a Promise Program similar to the scholarship I had at NOVA, which fully covers my tuition. I plan to join their Scholar Program as well to have a chance at more scholarships, but it might be tricky since one of the first requirements is to be a first time college student, so I'm unsure how the policy applies to someone like me.
The only problem with the whole plan is whether I get into the youth shelter or the TAY program. At this stage, I have 2-3 months to prepare myself for the move. Is there any paperwork I need to complete at NVCC before moving to another state? I would be grateful for any advice on my plan and on anything I can do to prepare.