Camper hookup requirements

Singles: Advice and Support

2010.02.20 18:34 dnlslm9 Singles: Advice and Support

This is a support sub for single adults. This is not a dating, hookup or porn sub. Accounts, posts and comments in this community have very specific requirements. Make sure you read the rules before you post.
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2017.09.09 03:04 LaSirene23 SLF meet ups

This sub is specifically for SBs, SDs, and SMs who are seeking other individuals in the Sugar lifestyle for friendship, freestyling, local platonic meetups, etc. This sub is not intended for those seeking online arrangements, to sell content or solicitation for onlyfans or any other website.
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2019.08.11 03:57 flignir AmItheButtface

Welcome to amithebuttface: the cool, relaxed, bastard nephew of amitheasshole. Is your primary question about a hookup or breakup? Is there not enough conflict in your moral conundrum? Are you one of those yahoos who insist Ross and Rachel were on a break and want to solicit the 'net's opinion? Do you frequently dwell on a confrontation that will probably never happen to you? Well look no further because amithebuttface is here to fill that void. Approach, ye wretched wanderers, and be judged.
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2024.05.17 09:42 Sweet-Count2557 Best Things to Do in Lampasas Tx

Best Things to Do in Lampasas Tx
Best Things to Do in Lampasas Tx Welcome to Lampasas, Texas, where adventure awaits! Join us as we uncover the best things to do in our charming town.Immerse yourself in the tranquility of the Hanna Springs Sculpture Garden, explore the natural beauty of Cooper Spring Nature Park, and cool off in the historic Hancock Springs.But the fun doesn't stop there! Discover Colorado Bend State Park, the World's Largest Spur, Lampasas Murals, and the exquisite Texas Legato Winery.Whether you seek outdoor adventure, culture, or relaxation, Lampasas has it all. Let's embark on an unforgettable journey together.Key TakeawaysLampasas offers a variety of outdoor attractions, including the Hanna Springs Sculpture Garden, Cooper Spring Nature Park, Hancock Springs, and Colorado Bend State Park.The town is known for its natural springs, which provide opportunities for swimming, picnicking, and outdoor activities.Lampasas has several landmarks and historic sites to explore, such as the World's Largest Spur, Lampasas Murals, Keystone Square Museum, and Lampasas County Courthouse.Visitors can also enjoy wineries and tasting rooms, delicious food at the Lampasas Drive-In, comfortable accommodation at the Best Western Plus Lampasas Inn & Suites, golfing at the Hancock Park Golf Course, and learning about the town's history at the Lampasas County Museum.Outdoor AttractionsLet's explore the outdoor attractions in Lampasas, TX. There are plenty of things to do in Lampasas that will satisfy your desire for freedom and adventure.One must-visit outdoor attraction is the Hanna Springs Sculpture Garden. Located in Campbell Park, this garden is owned by the City of Lampasas and was inspired by local artist Nancy Gray. It was dedicated on July 8, 2005, and features stunning sculptures created by three talented artists.Another outdoor gem in Lampasas is the Cooper Spring Nature Park. This 25-acre park is committed to preserving soil and water resources while providing sustainable homes for native birds and butterflies. You can take a leisurely stroll along the walking trails, relax on the benches, and enjoy the beautiful scenery. Don't miss the historic spring and the flowing Burleson Creek that add to the park's charm.For a refreshing dip, head to Hancock Springs. This outdoor attraction boasts a large pool with waters flowing from a cool spring. It's the perfect place to relax and unwind. In addition to the pool, there's a multipurpose room, playground, picnic area, and volleyball court, making it a great spot for the whole family.If you're up for more outdoor adventures, make sure to visit Colorado Bend State Park. Located in Bend, Texas, this 5,328.3-acre state park offers campsites for overnight stays and a range of activities. Explore the Gorman Falls, take a dip in the river for fishing and paddling, go on cave tours, and hike and bike on the scenic trails. It's a nature lover's paradise.Lampasas is also known for its natural springs, where you can enjoy a refreshing swim and relax in the nearby picnic spots. The natural beauty of these springs creates the ideal setting for outdoor activities.In Lampasas, there are plenty of outdoor attractions to explore, each offering a unique experience. Whether you're into art, nature, or simply want to relax, Lampasas has something for everyone. So, pack your bags and get ready for an adventure in Lampasas, TX!Landmarks and Historic SitesWe can explore the many landmarks and historic sites in Lampasas, TX. One notable landmark is the World's Largest Spur, located off Highway 281. Standing at an impressive 10.33 meters tall, 6.44 meters long, and 2.65 meters broad, it was accomplished by Leah Caruthers and Abe Caruthers on February 3, 2017. This colossal spur was created to increase tourism in Lampasas, Texas, and serves as a unique photo opportunity for visitors.Another fascinating attraction is the Lampasas Murals, created by the volunteer group Vision Lampasas. These beautiful murals depict the history and culture of the area, featuring subjects such as boots, wildflowers, wildlife, historic buildings, and local music icons. Each project required over 1,000 man-hours of dedication from the volunteers, resulting in stunning artwork that adds vibrancy to downtown Lampasas.For those interested in the town's history, the Keystone Square Museum is a must-visit. Housed in a former plumbing and sheet metal shop, this museum has been run by volunteers since 1976. It preserves period artifacts related to Lampasas' history and offers an engaging indoor activity, especially on rainy or cold days.Another landmark that showcases Lampasas' rich history is the Lampasas County Courthouse. This historic limestone courthouse, dating back to the late 19th century, is the third-oldest functioning courthouse in Texas. It stands as an iconic symbol of the town and is a place where visitors can immerse themselves in the town's heritage and appreciate its architectural beauty.Exploring these landmarks and historic sites allows us to connect with Lampasas' past and appreciate the town's unique character. Whether it's taking memorable photos at the World's Largest Spur, admiring the Lampasas Murals, or delving into the town's history at the Keystone Square Museum and County Courthouse, these attractions offer a glimpse into Lampasas' vibrant heritage.Wineries and Tasting RoomsOur first stop on the winery and tasting room tour is Texas Legato Winery, located at 2935 FM 1478 in Lampasas, Texas. Here, you can indulge in a delightful wine tasting experience while enjoying the peaceful ambiance of the vineyard. To entice you further, here are three reasons why Texas Legato Winery should be on your must-visit list:Family-Owned and Operated: Texas Legato Winery is a family-owned and operated establishment that was established in 2002. The name 'Legato' represents the gathering together of family and friends, reflecting the warm and welcoming atmosphere you can expect when you visit. This winery isn't just a business, but a labor of love that has been passed down through generations.Highly-Rated Wines: The wines produced at Texas Legato Winery have garnered high praise and recognition. From crisp whites to full-bodied reds, their selection offers something to please every palate. Whether you're a wine connoisseur or simply enjoy a good glass, you'll be impressed by the quality and craftsmanship of their wines.Tasting Room and Vineyard Views: At Texas Legato Winery, you can savor your wine tasting experience in their charming tasting room or on the scenic patio overlooking the vineyard. Immerse yourself in the beauty of the surrounding landscape as you sip on your favorite wine. It's the perfect setting to relax, unwind, and appreciate the craftsmanship that goes into each bottle.With our taste buds tantalized by the fine wines at Texas Legato Winery, let's now move on to the next section to explore the delectable food and dining options that Lampasas has to offer.Food and DiningThe Lampasas Drive-In is undeniably a must-visit spot for food and dining enthusiasts in Lampasas, Texas. This family-owned and operated establishment holds the title of being Elvis Presley's favorite food spot. As you step inside, you'll be greeted with a warm and inviting atmosphere, reminiscent of the classic American diners of the past. The menu at the Lampasas Drive-In is filled with delicious options that will satisfy any craving.One of the standout items on the menu is their famous burgers. Sink your teeth into a juicy, perfectly cooked patty topped with all your favorite fixings. The flavors meld together in a mouthwatering explosion that will leave you wanting more. And don't forget to order a side of their must-try curly fries. These crispy, golden delights are the perfect accompaniment to any meal.But the Lampasas Drive-In offers more than just burgers. Their menu also features a variety of other classic dishes, including hot dogs, chicken tenders, and sandwiches. Whether you're in the mood for a hearty meal or a quick bite to eat, you'll find something to satisfy your cravings here.In addition to the delicious food, the Lampasas Drive-In also offers a nostalgic dining experience. Step back in time as you enjoy your meal in the comfort of your car or at one of the picnic tables outside. The friendly and attentive staff will ensure that your dining experience is enjoyable from start to finish.AccommodationWhat are some convenient accommodation options near Lampasas attractions? Here are three options to consider:Best Western Plus Lampasas Inn & Suites: This hotel is a recommended choice for its close proximity to Lampasas attractions. With comfortable and modern rooms, you can expect a pleasant stay. The hotel also offers excellent customer service and great amenities to enhance your experience.The Inn at Lampasas: Located in the heart of Lampasas, The Inn at Lampasas is another convenient accommodation option. This charming inn provides comfortable and cozy rooms, perfect for a relaxing stay. You'll also appreciate the friendly staff and their commitment to ensuring your comfort.Lampasas RV Park: For those looking for a unique accommodation experience, Lampasas RV Park is a great choice. This park offers spacious RV sites with full hookups, allowing you to enjoy the comforts of home while exploring Lampasas. The park also features amenities such as a swimming pool, laundry facilities, and a clubhouse.No matter which accommodation option you choose, you'll be able to enjoy the attractions of Lampasas with ease. From the outdoor beauty of Hanna Springs Sculpture Garden and Cooper Spring Nature Park to the historic landmarks like the World's Largest Spur and Lampasas County Courthouse, there's something for everyone to enjoy in this vibrant town.Frequently Asked QuestionsAre There Any Annual Events or Festivals Held in Lampasas, Texas?Yes, there are annual events and festivals held in Lampasas, Texas. These events bring the community together and offer a chance to celebrate local culture.From the Lampasas Spring Ho Festival, featuring parades, live music, and a carnival, to the Lampasas County Fair and Rodeo, showcasing thrilling rodeo performances and agricultural exhibits, there's something for everyone to enjoy.These events are a great way to experience the lively spirit of Lampasas and create lasting memories.What Are Some Popular Hiking Trails Near Lampasas?Some popular hiking trails near Lampasas include the trails at Cooper Spring Nature Park, Colorado Bend State Park, and Gorman Falls.These trails offer scenic views, opportunities to explore nature, and a chance to immerse ourselves in the beauty of the Texas Hill Country region.Whether we're seeking a leisurely stroll or a more challenging hike, these trails provide a great outdoor experience for nature enthusiasts and adventure seekers alike.Is There a Visitor Center or Tourist Information Office in Lampasas?Yes, there's a visitor center in Lampasas. It serves as a helpful resource for tourists and provides information about the city's attractions, events, and local businesses.The friendly staff at the visitor center can offer recommendations on the best things to do in Lampasas, such as visiting the outdoor attractions like the Hanna Springs Sculpture Garden or exploring the historic landmarks like the World's Largest Spur.Can You Recommend Any Unique Shopping Experiences in Lampasas?Sure!Lampasas offers some unique shopping experiences. You'll find local artisans and vendors at the Lampasas Farmers Market, where you can discover fresh produce and homemade goods.For a different kind of shopping, check out the Keystone Square Museum, housed in a former plumbing and sheet metal shop, which preserves period artifacts related to Lampasas' history.These shopping spots provide a chance to support local businesses while immersing yourself in the town's rich heritage.Are There Any Guided Tours Available to Explore the Natural Springs in Lampasas?Yes, there are guided tours available to explore the natural springs in Lampasas. These tours offer a fantastic opportunity to immerse yourself in the beauty of the springs and learn about their significance.Led by knowledgeable guides, you'll discover the history and ecological importance of these natural wonders. From refreshing swims to relaxing picnic spots, the natural springs in Lampasas provide an ideal setting for outdoor activities.Don't miss out on this unique experience during your visit to Lampasas!ConclusionIn conclusion, Lampasas, Texas offers a wide range of activities and attractions for all interests. With beautiful outdoor attractions like the Hanna Springs Sculpture Garden and Cooper Spring Nature Park, there's something for everyone to enjoy.The town also boasts a rich history showcased in landmarks and murals. Visitors can explore the historical sites and learn about the town's past.For those who appreciate fine wine, Lampasas offers delicious wine tasting experiences at Texas Legato Winery. Visitors can sample a variety of wines and learn about the winemaking process.Overall, Lampasas is a charming town that has so much to offer. It's no wonder that 80% of visitors leave feeling inspired and rejuvenated. Don't miss out on exploring this hidden gem for yourself.
submitted by Sweet-Count2557 to worldkidstravel [link] [comments]


2024.05.17 06:57 ProfessionallyBusy Help needed from the community!

Who needs help? Camp El-O-Win is a campground located on Dinkey Creek that has hosted programs for girls 5-17 for over 60 years! It’s owned and operated by a local nonprofit whose sole purpose is to maintain the grounds to ensure young girls of the Central Valley have a safe place to learn, grow, and experience nature in its purest form.
What do they need help with? Over the years, there’s been a laundry list of upgrades, repairs, and renovations that has built up, many of them required in order to keep the camp in working order. The board that oversees the operations is made up of passionate volunteers, but much of the work is outside their scope of knowledge.
How can you help? In short: in order to keep operating safely, they need resources. Updated amenities are needed to maintain camper registration, but amenities cost money. Money comes from camper registrations and donations, but those are dwindling due to lack of name exposure to the community.
If you or someone you know runs a business dealing in construction (contractors, plumbers, electricians, concrete, etc) and are willing to donate time, knowledge, resources, projects, etc we could use help renovating our amenities.
If you love nature, we have a ton of options for you to come visit and volunteer your time!
If you are a parent of a school-age girl, we’d love to host her for one of our summer sessions! Archery, Horseback Riding, Canoeing, and more! Sign her up for a program!
If you are free this Saturday, you can attend our fundraising Carnival 10a - 2p at 50 E Santa Ana Ave, Fresno CA!
If you want to donate money, it is tax deductible as Camp is a registered 501(c)3 organization!
If you don’t want to do any of these things, you could still follow/like/share our Facebook and IG pages! Lack of exposure is our biggest weakness. I know there are plenty of parents out there who wish they could find a safe environment for their daughter to create unforgettable summer memories - this is it! We just need to get the word out.
Thank you all for reading, if anything here peaked your interest please feel free to message me. I hope you have a wonderful beautiful rest of your day! 😊
submitted by ProfessionallyBusy to fresno [link] [comments]


2024.05.17 06:37 Teh_Ocean My shitty solution to the “dating crisis” or whatever we’re calling it

Tl;dr at the bottom
Sup y’all. I can feel that this is gonna be another unwanted bout of insomnia so I just wanted to see if this idea I had has any merit. Basically, we all know that there’s an issue in dating. All the guys seem to be terrified of approaching gals and the gals seem to only find dirt bags. This issue is akin to something known as adverse selection in lending.
When lending money, you’re gonna want to choose someone you’re pretty sure will pay you back, right? How do you stop bad loans? One way is to charge interest. For one, the higher cost will hopefully attract those who can afford it. Two, it means that a riskier investment (a loan where I can’t check trustworthiness) will at least give me a higher return for taking that risk. What’s the issue? People who weren’t gonna pay off the loan anyway aren’t gonna care about interest, but good candidates will. This is adverse selection: where you keep out quality candidates when you were trying to catch bad ones.
How can you prevent this? Well the goal is lower risk, so collateral is one way. It lowers risk because if the loan defaults then you still have it, and untrustworthy candidates still have to put it up. It also requires some demonstration of the ability to make and hold money.
Now to relate this to dating: from what I’ve been able to glean from social media and other anecdotes is that adverse selection appears to be playing out both irl and on dating apps. For irl, “good” guys are worried about approaching gals because they’re worried about the potential fallout: rejection, humiliation, “catching a case”. This is the “interest rate” for the loan. (Note that this is perceived cost. I don’t think there are any girls out there writing up contracts that detail exactly how they’ll reject you). So less “good” guys proportionally. In response to bad experience (loan defaults) many gals will act hostile to men (raise the interest rate). For dating apps, similar idea but replace asking out with like dick pics.
So my solution? Looking towards loans, specifically home loans because that is what the class I was taking was discussing, collateral could provide a template. Essentially, you want to give a requirement as a woman that won’t scare away too many “good” guys and will disincentivize “bad” ones. Has to be something the guy is willing to give up and can cause him harm if he loses it, and the harm can be social, financial, professional. Probably not physical but if he’s okay then I guess? Also, relationships and loans are obviously different in very key ways, this is just a framework.
My idea? If you’re interested in a hookup, demand something physical as collateral. Idk maybe record a video explaining the context, email it to the guy, then lock his phone in a safe. If he’s successfully not a piece of shit then he can get it back. And if she refuses then he has proof. If the goal is seeking a long-term relationship, it’s a bit harder because what can you hold for that long that he values but doesn’t use? I think information might be good. So maybe the girl demands to see the third-most embarrassing discord server. Bad enough that you keep it to yourself but not so bad that it’s life ruining to reveal. Plus if it’s something you care enough about, you’d maybe share with an S/O eventually. Now this is not as clean because what if the couple breaks up and now the girl has the info? Yeah not sure how to resolve that, so if anyone has ideas please share.
I know this is dumb, but my brain maid the connection after cramming for my exam and I wanted to share with someone.
Tl:dr there are some parallels between loan providers and girls in how they try to evaluate applications. Collateral reduces friction with loans, so maybe it could lower friction in dating.
submitted by Teh_Ocean to atrioc [link] [comments]


2024.05.17 05:20 Readytogo3449 Registering a popup camper from out of state that doesn't have a title.

How do you register a popup camper in pa without a title? I was able to register it in NJ with a notarized hand written bill of sale. From what I'm reading, pa requires a title? I bought this sucker from a suburban family man on fb market place & know it isn't stolen. What do I need to do in order to register it if I move to pa?
submitted by Readytogo3449 to Pennsylvania [link] [comments]


2024.05.17 05:11 Subject_Habit5085 How to ground yourself in an ongoing hookup situation

Hey ya’ll - I’m back in the dating / hookup game after a long time (2.5 year break from literally everything), and am currently sleeping with someone who I’d normally go for in the dating world and who requires an emotional connection in order for them to truly enjoy sex. I’ve personally never interacted with a male who needed an emotional connection with someone they have no intention of dating long term but this emotional connection has got me, well… emotional.
There are aspects of them that call to me (humor, chemistry, energy) but I also recognize I do not know this person well enough to truly like them and also recognize that we agreed to a specific type of arrangement. I’d like to know how you ground yourself in reality vs. dreaming up scenarios, ruminating etc. I’ve recently had a convo with them about us no longer texting casually bc it was giving me a lot of anxiety when they would take longer to text and I noticed how happy I’d get seeing their messages and outline that we should only really reach out to one another to schedule a time to meetup (to hook up). I shared with them that I found myself excited by their messages and for the arrangement we have, that shouldn’t be happening. They’ve been respecting this boundary but I’d love to know what has worked for you as it relates to not getting carried away.
submitted by Subject_Habit5085 to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.17 04:34 alldatalost 45 [F4R] North Carolina/Anywhere - I install need one more person to complete the ritual, must bring your own powdered bat wing

I've got the eye of newt!
Hi! I'm looking for a genuine connection with someone that might turn into more. I'm perfectly happy with platonic chats but ultimately I'd like a romantic connection. Also, I'm a big beautiful fat girl, I'm mostly ok with that but if you aren't that's fine, everyone has preferences. Happy to exchange pics.
I'm introverted and like your bog standard introvert activities like reading, binging all the things, I like to paint sometimes, I'm a huge LotR nerd, crochet, arts and crafty things, and I listen to a fair amount of podcasts that range from history to Bigfoot and spooky things. I've started making some lifestyle changes so that I can be less of a big beautiful fat girl, so I'm happy to talk about things related to that as well. I also have a bit of anxiety, but who doesn't eh?
You just be you, I don't have any requirements other than be single and have a good head on your shoulders. I tend to like guys a bit younger than me, but please keep in mind I'm not looking for a hookups or anything superficial and I'd prefer the conversation be relatively SFW, so please keep it clean.
Send me a bit about yourself and your zodiac sign and let's see if we click 😊
submitted by alldatalost to r4r [link] [comments]


2024.05.17 03:59 AlaskanPi When the plan just doesn't go how it was supposed to.

So I'm just ranting about how everything hit the fan this week and I'm barely clinging on to my sanity.
I've been preparing myself/catching up my workload for the last two months. This was in preparation for my coworker to be out on maternity leave (already slightly triggered by the abrupt way this was announced to me in January, as I have been struggling with fertility for a long time).
In my small office, there's the two owners, myself (full time) and my (part time) coworker. I am fully capable of doing my job and the part time one, that position has generally been there so that I can take a break once in a while. I've been with my company 11 years, and I've seen 6 or 7 people in the other desk. And it's me who covers the times between.
Well, the plan was that this Sunday would be coworkers last day before leave.
So of course, this all hits-
Monday- get hit with a follow up request for grant documentation (requires me to open a previous version and company file in my accounting system) that has taken the better part of the last 3 days to gather, and I'm still not done. Need to submit by next Thursday (the boss with access leaves end of next week for 3 weeks)
Tuesday- in between my regular tasks, I continue pulling documents, including some 180 paystubs and corresponding timesheets, personal information still needs to be redacted.
Wednesday- coworker send a message to me and bosses letting us know they had to move up their section to Thursday (today) and would be taking their leave early.
Today- continued to pull documentation. Also noted for my own tasks that I need to organize coworkers desk tomorrow and going in to next week. Outside work, husband and I agreed to take turns with another couple, 2 weeks on/2 weeks off, helping a friend with housing while they remodel their camper van. The friend moves in tomorrow.
I not only have my job to do for the next 8 weeks, but the coworkers job too. And minor stuff to do for the boss that will be gone 3 weeks. But we're going in to our summer season, so business will pick up, meaning double reports. And now we have a roommate situation as well.
My brain doesn't like change. And seems like a FINE time to have just started ADHD meds....
I generally thrive in environments where I have back to back tasks, but this week just kinda got dropped on me with little to no warning...
My husband is really trying to help me cope. But I just keep looking at him with dead eyes and unfocused responses.
How do you all cope when everything hits all at once?
submitted by AlaskanPi to AuDHDWomen [link] [comments]


2024.05.17 01:32 SnooChipmunks4981 Letter to my Avoidant Ex - I need your opinions, Avoidant and no Avoidant people

Letter to my Avoidant Ex - I need your opinions, from Avoidant and non-avoidant people
Hello everyone,
This is my first time writing here, and I'm not sure what to expect and what kind of responses I'll receive. I look forward to hearing from you!
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
I'm using fictional names.
For some context, I wrote the letter below to my "ex," although I'm not sure if I can really use the word "ex." We always referred to our relationship as simply David & Mathieu. When people asked us if we were a couple, we would say no, it was just David & Mathieu.
We were friends for a year and a half before starting a different dynamic. It wasn't planned or wanted; it just happened very naturally. He has always been someone special to me; I don't know how to explain it, but for as long as I can remember, he has been special to me, and I told him that.
Two things to know about him are that he has an avoidant attachment style, which he himself acknowledges. So sometimes it was complicated; he never reassured me about anything, had blockages like we couldn't see each other during the week, and very often I couldn't touch him (affectionately) because he needed space. But I know he made efforts and stepped out of his comfort zone for us. He started holding my hand in public by himself, opening up more and more, and introduced me to important people in his life. It may not seem like much, but for someone with an avoidant attachment style, it was already a lot.
What made the situation even more complicated is that he was also fraysexual. So as the relationship progressed, the closer we got, the less sexual interest he had in me. He still needed sex, but it wasn't possible with me. Again, he was aware of how he was, and we always talked about it openly.
David & Mathieu lasted 7 months, and what ended it were the arguments we had towards the end. I started feeling insecure about his sexuality, the fact that he was back on dating apps (he said it was just for hookups) - I believed him, but it still made me insecure, and he had trouble reassuring me. He would get angry and say that I doubted his word. Furthermore, I brought up things from the past, like a guy he had something with while we were together during the first month of David & Mathieu. Also, towards the end, he expressed his need for space and to minimize contact, and I also struggled to give him that. I believe I have an anxious attachment style, so it was complicated for me to respond to some of his requests. But when we were together, it was really good; we often told each other that the best moments together were when it was just the two of us.
Anyway, he gave reasons for ending us: that I often doubted his word, that I brought up the past too much, and that he felt like he couldn't do things he had the right to do (like sleeping with others) and that I couldn't give him the space he needed. He was always honest about not wanting to lose his freedom. I never intended to take it away from him, but sometimes I needed to discuss things to feel good, and he struggled with that.
It's been a week now since we last had contact. We never really had a discussion to close everything; he shared his decision with me over the phone, I reacted badly, I tried to convince him to change his mind, and that's it.
The day after the phone call, he still agreed to come do an activity with me, but he said only because I told him it would make me feel better, and after that activity, he gave me back the things he had at his place. I still have things with me.
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
Well, here's the letter finally.
Thank you.
I respect and understand your choice.
I've wondered if it's also what I wanted and maybe I was just delusional to think otherwise.
I'm not expecting or needing you to respond to this message. It was important for me to share my observations with a clear head rather than being in a flood of emotions. I fully understand that you don't need to receive this message, maybe you're already rolling your eyes. It's more for me that I'm doing this, it seemed like the right thing to do for me.
I'm not into blaming, victimizing, or reproaching, and I'm not taking all the blame on myself. I'll only speak about what belongs to me. I'm not angry, disappointed, and I have no negative feelings towards you. I know you're a good person with good intentions, and you never intended to hurt me in any way.
I accept your decision much more easily now that I've finally understood that having contact with me now does more harm than good. I've always wanted what's best for you and to make you feel special.
You know what I think of you, what I told you was never fake or to please you, it was simply the truth. For me, when I was with you, you were the most... things & things, and I had no interest in looking away. I never played games with you or tried to sell you dreams. I'm aware that it could have played against me, and I didn't care. But honestly, I never felt like you were taking advantage of that.
Not that I think you care about that, but I stopped talking to the guy I was chatting with at (our last activity together) on the same day. If it helps some people, that's great, but for me, jumping into something else to feel better isn't healthy, I'd find it disrespectful, and it's just not me.
Sorry for losing sight of what was important and focusing too much on the past and things that didn't matter. Sorry for not being respectful and attentive towards the end, for making you feel like I didn't trust you/wanted to restrict you/didn't understand you bettedidn't assert my limits enough, and for not giving you the space you needed. I'm not perfect, I was just doing my best.
When I told you that we were better than that, well, I failed, and I let you down in a way, I acknowledge that, and I'm sorry. I messed up, and it's okay to make mistakes. You know, humans are sometimes poorly made, losing strength to realize things that were obvious.
I have work to do on myself in several aspects. I need to avoid creating scenarios, leave the past where it is, verbalize my needs and limits more clearly, in a better way and at the right time, learn to realize that what I have in front of me is true without suspicion, and learn to say: "This thing scares me, I don't know how to tame it, I don't know how it will affect us, let's talk about it."
I think just choosing better moments for certain discussions could potentially have changed the course of things. (We often had discussions about important things when we were drunk, it always turned out badly.)
I'm still the same guy I was a week ago, I haven't magically changed already, but what I can confidently tell you is that there has been an awakening, and I'm committed to evolving and being better.
I know that for you, us, it was a challenge and maybe sometimes destabilizing, it took you out of your comfort zone. I felt that you were doing your best, I never felt like you were forcing yourself, and for example, just holding my hand in public meant something significant to you. I could have taken that into consideration more and made sure you felt good and safe instead of adding pressure and frustration.
You and I are unique individuals, for whom it's not easy to build certain dynamics, we deserved to have what we had, but with the issues at the end, sometimes it wasn't easy.
I never wanted something conventional. For me, answering the question 'Are you a couple?' with 'No, it's just David & Mathieu' made me proud, and I liked it, for me, there was no need for further explanation.
I never asked or hoped for you to have the same requirements for yourself as I imposed on myself. I've always been very aware of your needs. The fact that it was important for me not to be touched by others, that belonged to me alone, I wish we could have navigated through that more healthily.
You often asked me what I expected from you, that it wasn't clear to you. I expected nothing more than what was ongoing. I was in this situation because I wanted to be, are you perfect as you are, I would say.... yes but no. But guess what, when I told you that you were perfect as you were, it was true, in the sense that even the things that weren't perfect made you a special thing for me. Don't try to understand, even I have difficulty understanding myself.
Trying out David & Mathieu wasn't a mistake for me, it was positive in many ways. And as I've already told you, what we had was enough for me, you were enough for me. The issues at the end for me were mostly predictable, all surmountable, and weighed less in the balance compared to the rest.
David & Mathieu was something peculiar, imperfect, and perfect at the same time. The fact that the best moments were mostly when we were alone together, that feeling that hand in hand it was us vs the rest, the feeling of pride and not wanting to be anywhere else and with anyone else at times.
I wish for us to find all of that again.
When you told me that you were lucky to have me, I was also lucky to have you, and I hope you know why.
Maybe one day, at the right time and if we both want it, we can see if it's possible to rebuild a friendly dynamic in which we both feel good. We've always managed to build better with the past. We make a good team when we're respectful and attentive.
I still wish to have you in my life, but if that's not possible, I'll respect that.
If someday we reconnect, I neither desire or need to revisit the issues we experienced. My mindset is to move towards something better and positive, not to fall back into negativity.
By the way, I have your grandfather's ring. I was wearing it when I got out of your car. If you want me to return your belongings quickly, let me know. Otherwise, don't worry, I'll take care of it.
I'll always be happy to hear from you, but I understand that you and I need space for now. Yes, even me.
This Saturday, Friday, or both nights, it's still to be determined, there's a possibility that I'll go out to the Eco with Emily. I'm not telling you to not go if that's what you had planned. But at the same time, I'd like us to respect what we need, but I don't want us to prevent each other from doing anything either.
If it happens soon that we come face to face, know that I'm no longer in the emotion, I'm good, I'll be friendly, and I'm ready to be flexible (leave) if necessary.
I don't plan to go to the Eco (a bar where we always went together, almost every weekend) often in the near future, this weekend is a bit special because Emily is staying in town exceptionally and plans to go out all weekend with friends from NY.
In conclusion, I would say once again that I respect your decision. It's unfortunate that we won't have the opportunity to continue having good times together. I've always had fun with you; it wasn't difficult.
Well, that's all. That's enough. That's already a lot.
Maybe one day I'll write a 10-minute song about an owl who always left 56,000 things at my place, who knows. 🤷🏻‍♂️ (he loves a Taylor S song that lasts 10 minutes about an ex of hers.)
Yes, I fully intend to make some cash off of you, no shame.
Bye for now
submitted by SnooChipmunks4981 to BreakUps [link] [comments]


2024.05.17 01:31 SnooChipmunks4981 Letter to my Avoidant Ex - I need your opinions, Avoidant and no Avoidant people

Letter to my Avoidant Ex - I need your opinions, from Avoidant and non-avoidant people
Hello everyone,
This is my first time writing here, and I'm not sure what to expect and what kind of responses I'll receive. I look forward to hearing from you!
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
I'm using fictional names.
For some context, I wrote the letter below to my "ex," although I'm not sure if I can really use the word "ex." We always referred to our relationship as simply David & Mathieu. When people asked us if we were a couple, we would say no, it was just David & Mathieu.
We were friends for a year and a half before starting a different dynamic. It wasn't planned or wanted; it just happened very naturally. He has always been someone special to me; I don't know how to explain it, but for as long as I can remember, he has been special to me, and I told him that.
Two things to know about him are that he has an avoidant attachment style, which he himself acknowledges. So sometimes it was complicated; he never reassured me about anything, had blockages like we couldn't see each other during the week, and very often I couldn't touch him (affectionately) because he needed space. But I know he made efforts and stepped out of his comfort zone for us. He started holding my hand in public by himself, opening up more and more, and introduced me to important people in his life. It may not seem like much, but for someone with an avoidant attachment style, it was already a lot.
What made the situation even more complicated is that he was also fraysexual. So as the relationship progressed, the closer we got, the less sexual interest he had in me. He still needed sex, but it wasn't possible with me. Again, he was aware of how he was, and we always talked about it openly.
David & Mathieu lasted 7 months, and what ended it were the arguments we had towards the end. I started feeling insecure about his sexuality, the fact that he was back on dating apps (he said it was just for hookups) - I believed him, but it still made me insecure, and he had trouble reassuring me. He would get angry and say that I doubted his word. Furthermore, I brought up things from the past, like a guy he had something with while we were together during the first month of David & Mathieu. Also, towards the end, he expressed his need for space and to minimize contact, and I also struggled to give him that. I believe I have an anxious attachment style, so it was complicated for me to respond to some of his requests. But when we were together, it was really good; we often told each other that the best moments together were when it was just the two of us.
Anyway, he gave reasons for ending us: that I often doubted his word, that I brought up the past too much, and that he felt like he couldn't do things he had the right to do (like sleeping with others) and that I couldn't give him the space he needed. He was always honest about not wanting to lose his freedom. I never intended to take it away from him, but sometimes I needed to discuss things to feel good, and he struggled with that.
It's been a week now since we last had contact. We never really had a discussion to close everything; he shared his decision with me over the phone, I reacted badly, I tried to convince him to change his mind, and that's it.
The day after the phone call, he still agreed to come do an activity with me, but he said only because I told him it would make me feel better, and after that activity, he gave me back the things he had at his place. I still have things with me.
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
Well, here's the letter finally.
Thank you.
I respect and understand your choice.
I've wondered if it's also what I wanted and maybe I was just delusional to think otherwise.
I'm not expecting or needing you to respond to this message. It was important for me to share my observations with a clear head rather than being in a flood of emotions. I fully understand that you don't need to receive this message, maybe you're already rolling your eyes. It's more for me that I'm doing this, it seemed like the right thing to do for me.
I'm not into blaming, victimizing, or reproaching, and I'm not taking all the blame on myself. I'll only speak about what belongs to me. I'm not angry, disappointed, and I have no negative feelings towards you. I know you're a good person with good intentions, and you never intended to hurt me in any way.
I accept your decision much more easily now that I've finally understood that having contact with me now does more harm than good. I've always wanted what's best for you and to make you feel special.
You know what I think of you, what I told you was never fake or to please you, it was simply the truth. For me, when I was with you, you were the most... things & things, and I had no interest in looking away. I never played games with you or tried to sell you dreams. I'm aware that it could have played against me, and I didn't care. But honestly, I never felt like you were taking advantage of that.
Not that I think you care about that, but I stopped talking to the guy I was chatting with at (our last activity together) on the same day. If it helps some people, that's great, but for me, jumping into something else to feel better isn't healthy, I'd find it disrespectful, and it's just not me.
Sorry for losing sight of what was important and focusing too much on the past and things that didn't matter. Sorry for not being respectful and attentive towards the end, for making you feel like I didn't trust you/wanted to restrict you/didn't understand you bettedidn't assert my limits enough, and for not giving you the space you needed. I'm not perfect, I was just doing my best.
When I told you that we were better than that, well, I failed, and I let you down in a way, I acknowledge that, and I'm sorry. I messed up, and it's okay to make mistakes. You know, humans are sometimes poorly made, losing strength to realize things that were obvious.
I have work to do on myself in several aspects. I need to avoid creating scenarios, leave the past where it is, verbalize my needs and limits more clearly, in a better way and at the right time, learn to realize that what I have in front of me is true without suspicion, and learn to say: "This thing scares me, I don't know how to tame it, I don't know how it will affect us, let's talk about it."
I think just choosing better moments for certain discussions could potentially have changed the course of things. (We often had discussions about important things when we were drunk, it always turned out badly.)
I'm still the same guy I was a week ago, I haven't magically changed already, but what I can confidently tell you is that there has been an awakening, and I'm committed to evolving and being better.
I know that for you, us, it was a challenge and maybe sometimes destabilizing, it took you out of your comfort zone. I felt that you were doing your best, I never felt like you were forcing yourself, and for example, just holding my hand in public meant something significant to you. I could have taken that into consideration more and made sure you felt good and safe instead of adding pressure and frustration.
You and I are unique individuals, for whom it's not easy to build certain dynamics, we deserved to have what we had, but with the issues at the end, sometimes it wasn't easy.
I never wanted something conventional. For me, answering the question 'Are you a couple?' with 'No, it's just David & Mathieu' made me proud, and I liked it, for me, there was no need for further explanation.
I never asked or hoped for you to have the same requirements for yourself as I imposed on myself. I've always been very aware of your needs. The fact that it was important for me not to be touched by others, that belonged to me alone, I wish we could have navigated through that more healthily.
You often asked me what I expected from you, that it wasn't clear to you. I expected nothing more than what was ongoing. I was in this situation because I wanted to be, are you perfect as you are, I would say.... yes but no. But guess what, when I told you that you were perfect as you were, it was true, in the sense that even the things that weren't perfect made you a special thing for me. Don't try to understand, even I have difficulty understanding myself.
Trying out David & Mathieu wasn't a mistake for me, it was positive in many ways. And as I've already told you, what we had was enough for me, you were enough for me. The issues at the end for me were mostly predictable, all surmountable, and weighed less in the balance compared to the rest.
David & Mathieu was something peculiar, imperfect, and perfect at the same time. The fact that the best moments were mostly when we were alone together, that feeling that hand in hand it was us vs the rest, the feeling of pride and not wanting to be anywhere else and with anyone else at times.
I wish for us to find all of that again.
When you told me that you were lucky to have me, I was also lucky to have you, and I hope you know why.
Maybe one day, at the right time and if we both want it, we can see if it's possible to rebuild a friendly dynamic in which we both feel good. We've always managed to build better with the past. We make a good team when we're respectful and attentive.
I still wish to have you in my life, but if that's not possible, I'll respect that.
If someday we reconnect, I neither desire or need to revisit the issues we experienced. My mindset is to move towards something better and positive, not to fall back into negativity.
By the way, I have your grandfather's ring. I was wearing it when I got out of your car. If you want me to return your belongings quickly, let me know. Otherwise, don't worry, I'll take care of it.
I'll always be happy to hear from you, but I understand that you and I need space for now. Yes, even me.
This Saturday, Friday, or both nights, it's still to be determined, there's a possibility that I'll go out to the Eco with Emily. I'm not telling you to not go if that's what you had planned. But at the same time, I'd like us to respect what we need, but I don't want us to prevent each other from doing anything either.
If it happens soon that we come face to face, know that I'm no longer in the emotion, I'm good, I'll be friendly, and I'm ready to be flexible (leave) if necessary.
I don't plan to go to the Eco (a bar where we always went together, almost every weekend) often in the near future, this weekend is a bit special because Emily is staying in town exceptionally and plans to go out all weekend with friends from NY.
In conclusion, I would say once again that I respect your decision. It's unfortunate that we won't have the opportunity to continue having good times together. I've always had fun with you; it wasn't difficult.
Well, that's all. That's enough. That's already a lot.
Maybe one day I'll write a 10-minute song about an owl who always left 56,000 things at my place, who knows. 🤷🏻‍♂️ (he loves a Taylor S song that lasts 10 minutes about an ex of hers.)
Yes, I fully intend to make some cash off of you, no shame.
Bye for now
submitted by SnooChipmunks4981 to ExNoContact [link] [comments]


2024.05.17 01:30 SnooChipmunks4981 Letter to my Avoidant Ex - I need your opinions, Avoidant and no Avoidant people

Letter to my Avoidant Ex - I need your opinions, from Avoidant and non-avoidant people
Hello everyone,
This is my first time writing here, and I'm not sure what to expect and what kind of responses I'll receive. I look forward to hearing from you!
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
I'm using fictional names.
For some context, I wrote the letter below to my "ex," although I'm not sure if I can really use the word "ex." We always referred to our relationship as simply David & Mathieu. When people asked us if we were a couple, we would say no, it was just David & Mathieu.
We were friends for a year and a half before starting a different dynamic. It wasn't planned or wanted; it just happened very naturally. He has always been someone special to me; I don't know how to explain it, but for as long as I can remember, he has been special to me, and I told him that.
Two things to know about him are that he has an avoidant attachment style, which he himself acknowledges. So sometimes it was complicated; he never reassured me about anything, had blockages like we couldn't see each other during the week, and very often I couldn't touch him (affectionately) because he needed space. But I know he made efforts and stepped out of his comfort zone for us. He started holding my hand in public by himself, opening up more and more, and introduced me to important people in his life. It may not seem like much, but for someone with an avoidant attachment style, it was already a lot.
What made the situation even more complicated is that he was also fraysexual. So as the relationship progressed, the closer we got, the less sexual interest he had in me. He still needed sex, but it wasn't possible with me. Again, he was aware of how he was, and we always talked about it openly.
David & Mathieu lasted 7 months, and what ended it were the arguments we had towards the end. I started feeling insecure about his sexuality, the fact that he was back on dating apps (he said it was just for hookups) - I believed him, but it still made me insecure, and he had trouble reassuring me. He would get angry and say that I doubted his word. Furthermore, I brought up things from the past, like a guy he had something with while we were together during the first month of David & Mathieu. Also, towards the end, he expressed his need for space and to minimize contact, and I also struggled to give him that. I believe I have an anxious attachment style, so it was complicated for me to respond to some of his requests. But when we were together, it was really good; we often told each other that the best moments together were when it was just the two of us.
Anyway, he gave reasons for ending us: that I often doubted his word, that I brought up the past too much, and that he felt like he couldn't do things he had the right to do (like sleeping with others) and that I couldn't give him the space he needed. He was always honest about not wanting to lose his freedom. I never intended to take it away from him, but sometimes I needed to discuss things to feel good, and he struggled with that.
It's been a week now since we last had contact. We never really had a discussion to close everything; he shared his decision with me over the phone, I reacted badly, I tried to convince him to change his mind, and that's it.
The day after the phone call, he still agreed to come do an activity with me, but he said only because I told him it would make me feel better, and after that activity, he gave me back the things he had at his place. I still have things with me.
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
Well, here's the letter finally.
Thank you.
I respect and understand your choice.
I've wondered if it's also what I wanted and maybe I was just delusional to think otherwise.
I'm not expecting or needing you to respond to this message. It was important for me to share my observations with a clear head rather than being in a flood of emotions. I fully understand that you don't need to receive this message, maybe you're already rolling your eyes. It's more for me that I'm doing this, it seemed like the right thing to do for me.
I'm not into blaming, victimizing, or reproaching, and I'm not taking all the blame on myself. I'll only speak about what belongs to me. I'm not angry, disappointed, and I have no negative feelings towards you. I know you're a good person with good intentions, and you never intended to hurt me in any way.
I accept your decision much more easily now that I've finally understood that having contact with me now does more harm than good. I've always wanted what's best for you and to make you feel special.
You know what I think of you, what I told you was never fake or to please you, it was simply the truth. For me, when I was with you, you were the most... things & things, and I had no interest in looking away. I never played games with you or tried to sell you dreams. I'm aware that it could have played against me, and I didn't care. But honestly, I never felt like you were taking advantage of that.
Not that I think you care about that, but I stopped talking to the guy I was chatting with at (our last activity together) on the same day. If it helps some people, that's great, but for me, jumping into something else to feel better isn't healthy, I'd find it disrespectful, and it's just not me.
Sorry for losing sight of what was important and focusing too much on the past and things that didn't matter. Sorry for not being respectful and attentive towards the end, for making you feel like I didn't trust you/wanted to restrict you/didn't understand you bettedidn't assert my limits enough, and for not giving you the space you needed. I'm not perfect, I was just doing my best.
When I told you that we were better than that, well, I failed, and I let you down in a way, I acknowledge that, and I'm sorry. I messed up, and it's okay to make mistakes. You know, humans are sometimes poorly made, losing strength to realize things that were obvious.
I have work to do on myself in several aspects. I need to avoid creating scenarios, leave the past where it is, verbalize my needs and limits more clearly, in a better way and at the right time, learn to realize that what I have in front of me is true without suspicion, and learn to say: "This thing scares me, I don't know how to tame it, I don't know how it will affect us, let's talk about it."
I think just choosing better moments for certain discussions could potentially have changed the course of things. (We often had discussions about important things when we were drunk, it always turned out badly.)
I'm still the same guy I was a week ago, I haven't magically changed already, but what I can confidently tell you is that there has been an awakening, and I'm committed to evolving and being better.
I know that for you, us, it was a challenge and maybe sometimes destabilizing, it took you out of your comfort zone. I felt that you were doing your best, I never felt like you were forcing yourself, and for example, just holding my hand in public meant something significant to you. I could have taken that into consideration more and made sure you felt good and safe instead of adding pressure and frustration.
You and I are unique individuals, for whom it's not easy to build certain dynamics, we deserved to have what we had, but with the issues at the end, sometimes it wasn't easy.
I never wanted something conventional. For me, answering the question 'Are you a couple?' with 'No, it's just David & Mathieu' made me proud, and I liked it, for me, there was no need for further explanation.
I never asked or hoped for you to have the same requirements for yourself as I imposed on myself. I've always been very aware of your needs. The fact that it was important for me not to be touched by others, that belonged to me alone, I wish we could have navigated through that more healthily.
You often asked me what I expected from you, that it wasn't clear to you. I expected nothing more than what was ongoing. I was in this situation because I wanted to be, are you perfect as you are, I would say.... yes but no. But guess what, when I told you that you were perfect as you were, it was true, in the sense that even the things that weren't perfect made you a special thing for me. Don't try to understand, even I have difficulty understanding myself.
Trying out David & Mathieu wasn't a mistake for me, it was positive in many ways. And as I've already told you, what we had was enough for me, you were enough for me. The issues at the end for me were mostly predictable, all surmountable, and weighed less in the balance compared to the rest.
David & Mathieu was something peculiar, imperfect, and perfect at the same time. The fact that the best moments were mostly when we were alone together, that feeling that hand in hand it was us vs the rest, the feeling of pride and not wanting to be anywhere else and with anyone else at times.
I wish for us to find all of that again.
When you told me that you were lucky to have me, I was also lucky to have you, and I hope you know why.
Maybe one day, at the right time and if we both want it, we can see if it's possible to rebuild a friendly dynamic in which we both feel good. We've always managed to build better with the past. We make a good team when we're respectful and attentive.
I still wish to have you in my life, but if that's not possible, I'll respect that.
If someday we reconnect, I neither desire or need to revisit the issues we experienced. My mindset is to move towards something better and positive, not to fall back into negativity.
By the way, I have your grandfather's ring. I was wearing it when I got out of your car. If you want me to return your belongings quickly, let me know. Otherwise, don't worry, I'll take care of it.
I'll always be happy to hear from you, but I understand that you and I need space for now. Yes, even me.
This Saturday, Friday, or both nights, it's still to be determined, there's a possibility that I'll go out to the Eco with Emily. I'm not telling you to not go if that's what you had planned. But at the same time, I'd like us to respect what we need, but I don't want us to prevent each other from doing anything either.
If it happens soon that we come face to face, know that I'm no longer in the emotion, I'm good, I'll be friendly, and I'm ready to be flexible (leave) if necessary.
I don't plan to go to the Eco (a bar where we always went together, almost every weekend) often in the near future, this weekend is a bit special because Emily is staying in town exceptionally and plans to go out all weekend with friends from NY.
In conclusion, I would say once again that I respect your decision. It's unfortunate that we won't have the opportunity to continue having good times together. I've always had fun with you; it wasn't difficult.
Well, that's all. That's enough. That's already a lot.
Maybe one day I'll write a 10-minute song about an owl who always left 56,000 things at my place, who knows. 🤷🏻‍♂️ (he loves a Taylor S song that lasts 10 minutes about an ex of hers.)
Yes, I fully intend to make some cash off of you, no shame.
Bye for now
submitted by SnooChipmunks4981 to u/SnooChipmunks4981 [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 21:04 SnooChipmunks4981 Letter to my Avoidant Ex - I need your opinions, from Avoidant and non-avoidant people

Hello everyone,
This is my first time writing here, and I'm not sure what to expect and what kind of responses I'll receive. I look forward to hearing from you!
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
I'm using fictional names.
For some context, I wrote the letter below to my "ex," although I'm not sure if I can really use the word "ex." We always referred to our relationship as simply David & Mathieu. When people asked us if we were a couple, we would say no, it was just David & Mathieu.
We were friends for a year and a half before starting a different dynamic. It wasn't planned or wanted; it just happened very naturally. He has always been someone special to me; I don't know how to explain it, but for as long as I can remember, he has been special to me, and I told him that.
Two things to know about him are that he has an avoidant attachment style, which he himself acknowledges. So sometimes it was complicated; he never reassured me about anything, had blockages like we couldn't see each other during the week, and very often I couldn't touch him (affectionately) because he needed space. But I know he made efforts and stepped out of his comfort zone for us. He started holding my hand in public by himself, opening up more and more, and introduced me to important people in his life. It may not seem like much, but for someone with an avoidant attachment style, it was already a lot.
What made the situation even more complicated is that he was also fraysexual. So as the relationship progressed, the closer we got, the less sexual interest he had in me. He still needed sex, but it wasn't possible with me. Again, he was aware of how he was, and we always talked about it openly.
David & Mathieu lasted 7 months, and what ended it were the arguments we had towards the end. I started feeling insecure about his sexuality, the fact that he was back on dating apps (he said it was just for hookups) - I believed him, but it still made me insecure, and he had trouble reassuring me. He would get angry and say that I doubted his word. Furthermore, I brought up things from the past, like a guy he had something with while we were together during the first month of David & Mathieu. Also, towards the end, he expressed his need for space and to minimize contact, and I also struggled to give him that. I believe I have an anxious attachment style, so it was complicated for me to respond to some of his requests. But when we were together, it was really good; we often told each other that the best moments together were when it was just the two of us.
Anyway, he gave reasons for ending us: that I often doubted his word, that I brought up the past too much, and that he felt like he couldn't do things he had the right to do (like sleeping with others) and that I couldn't give him the space he needed. He was always honest about not wanting to lose his freedom. I never intended to take it away from him, but sometimes I needed to discuss things to feel good, and he struggled with that.
It's been a week now since we last had contact. We never really had a discussion to close everything; he shared his decision with me over the phone, I reacted badly, I tried to convince him to change his mind, and that's it.
The day after the phone call, he still agreed to come do an activity with me, but he said only because I told him it would make me feel better, and after that activity, he gave me back the things he had at his place. I still have things with me.
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
Well, here's the letter finally.
Thank you.
I respect and understand your choice.
I've wondered if it's also what I wanted and maybe I was just delusional to think otherwise.
I'm not expecting or needing you to respond to these messages. It was important for me to share my observations with a clear head rather than being in a flood of emotions. I fully understand that you don't need to receive this message, maybe you're already rolling your eyes. It's more for me that I'm doing this, it seemed like the right thing to do for me.
I'm not into blaming, victimizing, or reproaching, and I'm not taking all the blame on myself. I'll only speak about what belongs to me. I'm not angry, disappointed, and I have no negative feelings towards you. I know you're a good person with good intentions, and you never intended to hurt me in any way.
I accept your decision much more easily now that I've finally understood that having contact with me now does more harm than good. I've always wanted what's best for you and to make you feel special.
You know what I think of you, what I told you was never fake or to please you, it was simply the truth. For me, when I was with you, you were the most... things & things, and I had no interest in looking away. I never played games with you or tried to sell you dreams. I'm aware that it could have played against me, and I didn't care. But honestly, I never felt like you were taking advantage of that.
Not that I think you care about that, but I stopped talking to the guy I was chatting with at the Biodôme on the same day. If it helps some people, that's great, but for me, jumping into something else to feel better isn't healthy, I'd find it disrespectful, and it's just not me.
Sorry for losing sight of what was important and focusing too much on the past and things that didn't matter. Sorry for not being respectful and attentive towards the end, for making you feel like I didn't trust you/wanted to restrict you/didn't understand you bettedidn't assert my limits enough, and for not giving you the space you needed. I'm not perfect, I was just doing my best.
When I told you that we were better than that, well, I failed, and I let you down in a way, I acknowledge that, and I'm sorry. I messed up, and it's okay to make mistakes. You know, humans are sometimes poorly made, losing strength to realize things that were obvious.
I have work to do on myself in several aspects. I need to avoid creating scenarios, leave the past where it is, verbalize my needs and limits more clearly, in a better way and at the right time, learn to realize that what I have in front of me is true without suspicion, and learn to say: "This thing scares me, I don't know how to tame it, I don't know how it will affect us, let's talk about it."
I think just choosing better moments for certain discussions could potentially have changed the course of things. (We often had discussions about important things when we were drunk, it always turned out badly.)
I'm still the same guy I was a week ago, I haven't magically changed already, but what I can confidently tell you is that there has been an awakening, and I'm committed to evolving and being better.
I know that for you, us, it was a challenge and maybe sometimes destabilizing, it took you out of your comfort zone. I felt that you were doing your best, I never felt like you were forcing yourself, and for example, just holding my hand in public meant something significant to you. I could have taken that into consideration more and made sure you felt good and safe instead of adding pressure and frustration.
You and I are unique individuals, for whom it's not easy to build certain dynamics, we deserved to have what we had, but with the issues at the end, sometimes it wasn't easy.
I never wanted something conventional. For me, answering the question 'Are you a couple?' with 'No, it's just David & Mathieu' made me proud, and I liked it, for me, there was no need for further explanation.
I never asked or hoped for you to have the same requirements for yourself as I imposed on myself. I've always been very aware of your needs. The fact that it was important for me not to be touched by others, that belonged to me alone, I wish we could have navigated through that more healthily.
You often asked me what I expected from you, that it wasn't clear to you. I expected nothing more than what was ongoing. I was in this situation because I wanted to be, are you perfect as you are, I would say.... yes but no. But guess what, when I told you that you were perfect as you were, it was true, in the sense that even the things that weren't perfect made you a special thing for me. Don't try to understand, even I have difficulty understanding myself.
Trying out David & Mathieu wasn't a mistake for me, it was positive in many ways. And as I've already told you, what we had was enough for me, you were enough for me. The issues at the end for me were mostly predictable, all surmountable, and weighed less in the balance compared to the rest.
David & Mathieu was something peculiar, imperfect, and perfect at the same time. The fact that the best moments were mostly when we were alone together, that feeling that hand in hand it was us vs the rest, the feeling of pride and not wanting to be anywhere else and with anyone else at times.
I wish for us to find all of that again.
When you told me that you were lucky to have me, I was also lucky to have you, and I hope you know why.
Maybe one day, at the right time and if we both want it, we can see if it's possible to rebuild a friendly dynamic in which we both feel good. We've always managed to build better with the past. We make a good team when we're respectful and attentive.
I still wish to have you in my life, but if that's not possible, I'll respect that.
If someday we reconnect, I neither desire or need to revisit the issues we experienced. My mindset is to move towards something better and positive, not to fall back into negativity.
By the way, I have your grandfather's ring. I was wearing it when I got out of your car. If you want me to return your belongings quickly, let me know. Otherwise, don't worry, I'll take care of it.
I'll always be happy to hear from you, but I understand that you and I need space for now. Yes, even me.
This Saturday, Friday, or both nights, it's still to be determined, there's a possibility that I'll go out to the Eco with Emily. I'm not telling you to not go if that's what you had planned. But at the same time, I'd like us to respect what we need, but I don't want us to prevent each other from doing anything either.
If it happens soon that we come face to face, know that I'm no longer in the emotion, I'm good, I'll be friendly, and I'm ready to be flexible (leave) if necessary.
I don't plan to go to the Eco (a bar where we always went together, almost every weekend) often in the near future, this weekend is a bit special because Emily is staying in town exceptionally and plans to go out all weekend with friends from NY.
In conclusion, I would say once again that I respect your decision. It's unfortunate that we won't have the opportunity to continue having good times together. I've always had fun with you; it wasn't difficult.
Well, that's all. That's enough. That's already a lot.
Maybe one day I'll write a 10-minute song about an owl who always left 56,000 things at my place, who knows. 🤷🏻‍♂️ (he loves a Taylor S song that lasts 10 minutes about an ex of hers.)
Yes, I fully intend to make some cash off of you, no shame.
Bye for now
submitted by SnooChipmunks4981 to BreakUps [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 21:03 SnooChipmunks4981 Letter to my Avoidant Ex - I need your opinions, from Avoidant and non-avoidant people

Hello everyone,
This is my first time writing here, and I'm not sure what to expect and what kind of responses I'll receive. I look forward to hearing from you!
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
I'm using fictional names.
For some context, I wrote the letter below to my "ex," although I'm not sure if I can really use the word "ex." We always referred to our relationship as simply David & Mathieu. When people asked us if we were a couple, we would say no, it was just David & Mathieu.
We were friends for a year and a half before starting a different dynamic. It wasn't planned or wanted; it just happened very naturally. He has always been someone special to me; I don't know how to explain it, but for as long as I can remember, he has been special to me, and I told him that.
Two things to know about him are that he has an avoidant attachment style, which he himself acknowledges. So sometimes it was complicated; he never reassured me about anything, had blockages like we couldn't see each other during the week, and very often I couldn't touch him (affectionately) because he needed space. But I know he made efforts and stepped out of his comfort zone for us. He started holding my hand in public by himself, opening up more and more, and introduced me to important people in his life. It may not seem like much, but for someone with an avoidant attachment style, it was already a lot.
What made the situation even more complicated is that he was also fraysexual. So as the relationship progressed, the closer we got, the less sexual interest he had in me. He still needed sex, but it wasn't possible with me. Again, he was aware of how he was, and we always talked about it openly.
David & Mathieu lasted 7 months, and what ended it were the arguments we had towards the end. I started feeling insecure about his sexuality, the fact that he was back on dating apps (he said it was just for hookups) - I believed him, but it still made me insecure, and he had trouble reassuring me. He would get angry and say that I doubted his word. Furthermore, I brought up things from the past, like a guy he had something with while we were together during the first month of David & Mathieu. Also, towards the end, he expressed his need for space and to minimize contact, and I also struggled to give him that. I believe I have an anxious attachment style, so it was complicated for me to respond to some of his requests. But when we were together, it was really good; we often told each other that the best moments together were when it was just the two of us.
Anyway, he gave reasons for ending us: that I often doubted his word, that I brought up the past too much, and that he felt like he couldn't do things he had the right to do (like sleeping with others) and that I couldn't give him the space he needed. He was always honest about not wanting to lose his freedom. I never intended to take it away from him, but sometimes I needed to discuss things to feel good, and he struggled with that.
It's been a week now since we last had contact. We never really had a discussion to close everything; he shared his decision with me over the phone, I reacted badly, I tried to convince him to change his mind, and that's it.
The day after the phone call, he still agreed to come do an activity with me, but he said only because I told him it would make me feel better, and after that activity, he gave me back the things he had at his place. I still have things with me.
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
Well, here's the letter finally.
Thank you.
I respect and understand your choice.
I've wondered if it's also what I wanted and maybe I was just delusional to think otherwise.
I'm not expecting or needing you to respond to these messages. It was important for me to share my observations with a clear head rather than being in a flood of emotions. I fully understand that you don't need to receive this message, maybe you're already rolling your eyes. It's more for me that I'm doing this, it seemed like the right thing to do for me.
I'm not into blaming, victimizing, or reproaching, and I'm not taking all the blame on myself. I'll only speak about what belongs to me. I'm not angry, disappointed, and I have no negative feelings towards you. I know you're a good person with good intentions, and you never intended to hurt me in any way.
I accept your decision much more easily now that I've finally understood that having contact with me now does more harm than good. I've always wanted what's best for you and to make you feel special.
You know what I think of you, what I told you was never fake or to please you, it was simply the truth. For me, when I was with you, you were the most... things & things, and I had no interest in looking away. I never played games with you or tried to sell you dreams. I'm aware that it could have played against me, and I didn't care. But honestly, I never felt like you were taking advantage of that.
Not that I think you care about that, but I stopped talking to the guy I was chatting with at the Biodôme on the same day. If it helps some people, that's great, but for me, jumping into something else to feel better isn't healthy, I'd find it disrespectful, and it's just not me.
Sorry for losing sight of what was important and focusing too much on the past and things that didn't matter. Sorry for not being respectful and attentive towards the end, for making you feel like I didn't trust you/wanted to restrict you/didn't understand you bettedidn't assert my limits enough, and for not giving you the space you needed. I'm not perfect, I was just doing my best.
When I told you that we were better than that, well, I failed, and I let you down in a way, I acknowledge that, and I'm sorry. I messed up, and it's okay to make mistakes. You know, humans are sometimes poorly made, losing strength to realize things that were obvious.
I have work to do on myself in several aspects. I need to avoid creating scenarios, leave the past where it is, verbalize my needs and limits more clearly, in a better way and at the right time, learn to realize that what I have in front of me is true without suspicion, and learn to say: "This thing scares me, I don't know how to tame it, I don't know how it will affect us, let's talk about it."
I think just choosing better moments for certain discussions could potentially have changed the course of things. (We often had discussions about important things when we were drunk, it always turned out badly.)
I'm still the same guy I was a week ago, I haven't magically changed already, but what I can confidently tell you is that there has been an awakening, and I'm committed to evolving and being better.
I know that for you, us, it was a challenge and maybe sometimes destabilizing, it took you out of your comfort zone. I felt that you were doing your best, I never felt like you were forcing yourself, and for example, just holding my hand in public meant something significant to you. I could have taken that into consideration more and made sure you felt good and safe instead of adding pressure and frustration.
You and I are unique individuals, for whom it's not easy to build certain dynamics, we deserved to have what we had, but with the issues at the end, sometimes it wasn't easy.
I never wanted something conventional. For me, answering the question 'Are you a couple?' with 'No, it's just David & Mathieu' made me proud, and I liked it, for me, there was no need for further explanation.
I never asked or hoped for you to have the same requirements for yourself as I imposed on myself. I've always been very aware of your needs. The fact that it was important for me not to be touched by others, that belonged to me alone, I wish we could have navigated through that more healthily.
You often asked me what I expected from you, that it wasn't clear to you. I expected nothing more than what was ongoing. I was in this situation because I wanted to be, are you perfect as you are, I would say.... yes but no. But guess what, when I told you that you were perfect as you were, it was true, in the sense that even the things that weren't perfect made you a special thing for me. Don't try to understand, even I have difficulty understanding myself.
Trying out David & Mathieu wasn't a mistake for me, it was positive in many ways. And as I've already told you, what we had was enough for me, you were enough for me. The issues at the end for me were mostly predictable, all surmountable, and weighed less in the balance compared to the rest.
David & Mathieu was something peculiar, imperfect, and perfect at the same time. The fact that the best moments were mostly when we were alone together, that feeling that hand in hand it was us vs the rest, the feeling of pride and not wanting to be anywhere else and with anyone else at times.
I wish for us to find all of that again.
When you told me that you were lucky to have me, I was also lucky to have you, and I hope you know why.
Maybe one day, at the right time and if we both want it, we can see if it's possible to rebuild a friendly dynamic in which we both feel good. We've always managed to build better with the past. We make a good team when we're respectful and attentive.
I still wish to have you in my life, but if that's not possible, I'll respect that.
If someday we reconnect, I neither desire or need to revisit the issues we experienced. My mindset is to move towards something better and positive, not to fall back into negativity.
By the way, I have your grandfather's ring. I was wearing it when I got out of your car. If you want me to return your belongings quickly, let me know. Otherwise, don't worry, I'll take care of it.
I'll always be happy to hear from you, but I understand that you and I need space for now. Yes, even me.
This Saturday, Friday, or both nights, it's still to be determined, there's a possibility that I'll go out to the Eco with Emily. I'm not telling you to not go if that's what you had planned. But at the same time, I'd like us to respect what we need, but I don't want us to prevent each other from doing anything either.
If it happens soon that we come face to face, know that I'm no longer in the emotion, I'm good, I'll be friendly, and I'm ready to be flexible (leave) if necessary.
I don't plan to go to the Eco (a bar where we always went together, almost every weekend) often in the near future, this weekend is a bit special because Emily is staying in town exceptionally and plans to go out all weekend with friends from NY.
In conclusion, I would say once again that I respect your decision. It's unfortunate that we won't have the opportunity to continue having good times together. I've always had fun with you; it wasn't difficult.
Well, that's all. That's enough. That's already a lot.
Maybe one day I'll write a 10-minute song about an owl who always left 56,000 things at my place, who knows. 🤷🏻‍♂️ (he loves a Taylor S song that lasts 10 minutes about an ex of hers.)
Yes, I fully intend to make some cash off of you, no shame.
Bye for now
submitted by SnooChipmunks4981 to AvoidantBreakUps [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 20:59 SnooChipmunks4981 Letter to my Avoidant Ex - I need your opinions, from Avoidant and non-avoidant people

Hello everyone,
This is my first time writing here, and I'm not sure what to expect and what kind of responses I'll receive. I look forward to hearing from you!
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
I'm using fictional names.
For some context, I wrote the letter below to my "ex," although I'm not sure if I can really use the word "ex." We always referred to our relationship as simply David & Mathieu. When people asked us if we were a couple, we would say no, it was just David & Mathieu.
We were friends for a year and a half before starting a different dynamic. It wasn't planned or wanted; it just happened very naturally. He has always been someone special to me; I don't know how to explain it, but for as long as I can remember, he has been special to me, and I told him that.
Two things to know about him are that he has an avoidant attachment style, which he himself acknowledges. So sometimes it was complicated; he never reassured me about anything, had blockages like we couldn't see each other during the week, and very often I couldn't touch him (affectionately) because he needed space. But I know he made efforts and stepped out of his comfort zone for us. He started holding my hand in public by himself, opening up more and more, and introduced me to important people in his life. It may not seem like much, but for someone with an avoidant attachment style, it was already a lot.
What made the situation even more complicated is that he was also fraysexual. So as the relationship progressed, the closer we got, the less sexual interest he had in me. He still needed sex, but it wasn't possible with me. Again, he was aware of how he was, and we always talked about it openly.
David & Mathieu lasted 7 months, and what ended it were the arguments we had towards the end. I started feeling insecure about his sexuality, the fact that he was back on dating apps (he said it was just for hookups) - I believed him, but it still made me insecure, and he had trouble reassuring me. He would get angry and say that I doubted his word. Furthermore, I brought up things from the past, like a guy he had something with while we were together during the first month of David & Mathieu. Also, towards the end, he expressed his need for space and to minimize contact, and I also struggled to give him that. I believe I have an anxious attachment style, so it was complicated for me to respond to some of his requests. But when we were together, it was really good; we often told each other that the best moments together were when it was just the two of us.
Anyway, he gave reasons for ending us: that I often doubted his word, that I brought up the past too much, and that he felt like he couldn't do things he had the right to do (like sleeping with others) and that I couldn't give him the space he needed. He was always honest about not wanting to lose his freedom. I never intended to take it away from him, but sometimes I needed to discuss things to feel good, and he struggled with that.
It's been a week now since we last had contact. We never really had a discussion to close everything; he shared his decision with me over the phone, I reacted badly, I tried to convince him to change his mind, and that's it.
The day after the phone call, he still agreed to come do an activity with me, but he said only because I told him it would make me feel better, and after that activity, he gave me back the things he had at his place. I still have things with me.
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
Well, here's the letter finally.
Thank you.
I respect and understand your choice.
I've wondered if it's also what I wanted and maybe I was just delusional to think otherwise.
I'm not expecting or needing you to respond to these messages. It was important for me to share my observations with a clear head rather than being in a flood of emotions. I fully understand that you don't need to receive this message, maybe you're already rolling your eyes. It's more for me that I'm doing this, it seemed like the right thing to do for me.
I'm not into blaming, victimizing, or reproaching, and I'm not taking all the blame on myself. I'll only speak about what belongs to me. I'm not angry, disappointed, and I have no negative feelings towards you. I know you're a good person with good intentions, and you never intended to hurt me in any way.
I accept your decision much more easily now that I've finally understood that having contact with me now does more harm than good. I've always wanted what's best for you and to make you feel special.
You know what I think of you, what I told you was never fake or to please you, it was simply the truth. For me, when I was with you, you were the most... things & things, and I had no interest in looking away. I never played games with you or tried to sell you dreams. I'm aware that it could have played against me, and I didn't care. But honestly, I never felt like you were taking advantage of that.
Not that I think you care about that, but I stopped talking to the guy I was chatting with at the Biodôme on the same day. If it helps some people, that's great, but for me, jumping into something else to feel better isn't healthy, I'd find it disrespectful, and it's just not me.
Sorry for losing sight of what was important and focusing too much on the past and things that didn't matter. Sorry for not being respectful and attentive towards the end, for making you feel like I didn't trust you/wanted to restrict you/didn't understand you bettedidn't assert my limits enough, and for not giving you the space you needed. I'm not perfect, I was just doing my best.
When I told you that we were better than that, well, I failed, and I let you down in a way, I acknowledge that, and I'm sorry. I messed up, and it's okay to make mistakes. You know, humans are sometimes poorly made, losing strength to realize things that were obvious.
I have work to do on myself in several aspects. I need to avoid creating scenarios, leave the past where it is, verbalize my needs and limits more clearly, in a better way and at the right time, learn to realize that what I have in front of me is true without suspicion, and learn to say: "This thing scares me, I don't know how to tame it, I don't know how it will affect us, let's talk about it."
I think just choosing better moments for certain discussions could potentially have changed the course of things. (We often had discussions about important things when we were drunk, it always turned out badly.)
I'm still the same guy I was a week ago, I haven't magically changed already, but what I can confidently tell you is that there has been an awakening, and I'm committed to evolving and being better.
I know that for you, us, it was a challenge and maybe sometimes destabilizing, it took you out of your comfort zone. I felt that you were doing your best, I never felt like you were forcing yourself, and for example, just holding my hand in public meant something significant to you. I could have taken that into consideration more and made sure you felt good and safe instead of adding pressure and frustration.
You and I are unique individuals, for whom it's not easy to build certain dynamics, we deserved to have what we had, but with the issues at the end, sometimes it wasn't easy.
I never wanted something conventional. For me, answering the question 'Are you a couple?' with 'No, it's just David & Mathieu' made me proud, and I liked it, for me, there was no need for further explanation.
I never asked or hoped for you to have the same requirements for yourself as I imposed on myself. I've always been very aware of your needs. The fact that it was important for me not to be touched by others, that belonged to me alone, I wish we could have navigated through that more healthily.
You often asked me what I expected from you, that it wasn't clear to you. I expected nothing more than what was ongoing. I was in this situation because I wanted to be, are you perfect as you are, I would say.... yes but no. But guess what, when I told you that you were perfect as you were, it was true, in the sense that even the things that weren't perfect made you a special thing for me. Don't try to understand, even I have difficulty understanding myself.
Trying out David & Mathieu wasn't a mistake for me, it was positive in many ways. And as I've already told you, what we had was enough for me, you were enough for me. The issues at the end for me were mostly predictable, all surmountable, and weighed less in the balance compared to the rest.
David & Mathieu was something peculiar, imperfect, and perfect at the same time. The fact that the best moments were mostly when we were alone together, that feeling that hand in hand it was us vs the rest, the feeling of pride and not wanting to be anywhere else and with anyone else at times.
I wish for us to find all of that again.
When you told me that you were lucky to have me, I was also lucky to have you, and I hope you know why.
Maybe one day, at the right time and if we both want it, we can see if it's possible to rebuild a friendly dynamic in which we both feel good. We've always managed to build better with the past. We make a good team when we're respectful and attentive.
I still wish to have you in my life, but if that's not possible, I'll respect that.
If someday we reconnect, I neither desire or need to revisit the issues we experienced. My mindset is to move towards something better and positive, not to fall back into negativity.
By the way, I have your grandfather's ring. I was wearing it when I got out of your car. If you want me to return your belongings quickly, let me know. Otherwise, don't worry, I'll take care of it.
I'll always be happy to hear from you, but I understand that you and I need space for now. Yes, even me.
This Saturday, Friday, or both nights, it's still to be determined, there's a possibility that I'll go out to the Eco with Emily. I'm not telling you to not go if that's what you had planned. But at the same time, I'd like us to respect what we need, but I don't want us to prevent each other from doing anything either.
If it happens soon that we come face to face, know that I'm no longer in the emotion, I'm good, I'll be friendly, and I'm ready to be flexible (leave) if necessary.
I don't plan to go to the Eco (a bar where we always went together, almost every weekend) often in the near future, this weekend is a bit special because Emily is staying in town exceptionally and plans to go out all weekend with friends from NY.
In conclusion, I would say once again that I respect your decision. It's unfortunate that we won't have the opportunity to continue having good times together. I've always had fun with you; it wasn't difficult.
Well, that's all. That's enough. That's already a lot.
Maybe one day I'll write a 10-minute song about an owl who always left 56,000 things at my place, who knows. 🤷🏻‍♂️ (he loves a Taylor S song that lasts 10 minutes about an ex of hers.)
Yes, I fully intend to make some cash off of you, no shame.
Bye for now
submitted by SnooChipmunks4981 to UnsentLetters [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 20:59 SnooChipmunks4981 Letter to my Avoidant Ex - I need your opinions, from Avoidant and non-avoidant people

Hello everyone,
This is my first time writing here, and I'm not sure what to expect and what kind of responses I'll receive. I look forward to hearing from you!
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
I'm using fictional names.
For some context, I wrote the letter below to my "ex," although I'm not sure if I can really use the word "ex." We always referred to our relationship as simply David & Mathieu. When people asked us if we were a couple, we would say no, it was just David & Mathieu.
We were friends for a year and a half before starting a different dynamic. It wasn't planned or wanted; it just happened very naturally. He has always been someone special to me; I don't know how to explain it, but for as long as I can remember, he has been special to me, and I told him that.
Two things to know about him are that he has an avoidant attachment style, which he himself acknowledges. So sometimes it was complicated; he never reassured me about anything, had blockages like we couldn't see each other during the week, and very often I couldn't touch him (affectionately) because he needed space. But I know he made efforts and stepped out of his comfort zone for us. He started holding my hand in public by himself, opening up more and more, and introduced me to important people in his life. It may not seem like much, but for someone with an avoidant attachment style, it was already a lot.
What made the situation even more complicated is that he was also fraysexual. So as the relationship progressed, the closer we got, the less sexual interest he had in me. He still needed sex, but it wasn't possible with me. Again, he was aware of how he was, and we always talked about it openly.
David & Mathieu lasted 7 months, and what ended it were the arguments we had towards the end. I started feeling insecure about his sexuality, the fact that he was back on dating apps (he said it was just for hookups) - I believed him, but it still made me insecure, and he had trouble reassuring me. He would get angry and say that I doubted his word. Furthermore, I brought up things from the past, like a guy he had something with while we were together during the first month of David & Mathieu. Also, towards the end, he expressed his need for space and to minimize contact, and I also struggled to give him that. I believe I have an anxious attachment style, so it was complicated for me to respond to some of his requests. But when we were together, it was really good; we often told each other that the best moments together were when it was just the two of us.
Anyway, he gave reasons for ending us: that I often doubted his word, that I brought up the past too much, and that he felt like he couldn't do things he had the right to do (like sleeping with others) and that I couldn't give him the space he needed. He was always honest about not wanting to lose his freedom. I never intended to take it away from him, but sometimes I needed to discuss things to feel good, and he struggled with that.
It's been a week now since we last had contact. We never really had a discussion to close everything; he shared his decision with me over the phone, I reacted badly, I tried to convince him to change his mind, and that's it.
The day after the phone call, he still agreed to come do an activity with me, but he said only because I told him it would make me feel better, and after that activity, he gave me back the things he had at his place. I still have things with me.
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
Well, here's the letter finally.
Thank you.
I respect and understand your choice.
I've wondered if it's also what I wanted and maybe I was just delusional to think otherwise.
I'm not expecting or needing you to respond to these messages. It was important for me to share my observations with a clear head rather than being in a flood of emotions. I fully understand that you don't need to receive this message, maybe you're already rolling your eyes. It's more for me that I'm doing this, it seemed like the right thing to do for me.
I'm not into blaming, victimizing, or reproaching, and I'm not taking all the blame on myself. I'll only speak about what belongs to me. I'm not angry, disappointed, and I have no negative feelings towards you. I know you're a good person with good intentions, and you never intended to hurt me in any way.
I accept your decision much more easily now that I've finally understood that having contact with me now does more harm than good. I've always wanted what's best for you and to make you feel special.
You know what I think of you, what I told you was never fake or to please you, it was simply the truth. For me, when I was with you, you were the most... things & things, and I had no interest in looking away. I never played games with you or tried to sell you dreams. I'm aware that it could have played against me, and I didn't care. But honestly, I never felt like you were taking advantage of that.
Not that I think you care about that, but I stopped talking to the guy I was chatting with at the Biodôme on the same day. If it helps some people, that's great, but for me, jumping into something else to feel better isn't healthy, I'd find it disrespectful, and it's just not me.
Sorry for losing sight of what was important and focusing too much on the past and things that didn't matter. Sorry for not being respectful and attentive towards the end, for making you feel like I didn't trust you/wanted to restrict you/didn't understand you bettedidn't assert my limits enough, and for not giving you the space you needed. I'm not perfect, I was just doing my best.
When I told you that we were better than that, well, I failed, and I let you down in a way, I acknowledge that, and I'm sorry. I messed up, and it's okay to make mistakes. You know, humans are sometimes poorly made, losing strength to realize things that were obvious.
I have work to do on myself in several aspects. I need to avoid creating scenarios, leave the past where it is, verbalize my needs and limits more clearly, in a better way and at the right time, learn to realize that what I have in front of me is true without suspicion, and learn to say: "This thing scares me, I don't know how to tame it, I don't know how it will affect us, let's talk about it."
I think just choosing better moments for certain discussions could potentially have changed the course of things. (We often had discussions about important things when we were drunk, it always turned out badly.)
I'm still the same guy I was a week ago, I haven't magically changed already, but what I can confidently tell you is that there has been an awakening, and I'm committed to evolving and being better.
I know that for you, us, it was a challenge and maybe sometimes destabilizing, it took you out of your comfort zone. I felt that you were doing your best, I never felt like you were forcing yourself, and for example, just holding my hand in public meant something significant to you. I could have taken that into consideration more and made sure you felt good and safe instead of adding pressure and frustration.
You and I are unique individuals, for whom it's not easy to build certain dynamics, we deserved to have what we had, but with the issues at the end, sometimes it wasn't easy.
I never wanted something conventional. For me, answering the question 'Are you a couple?' with 'No, it's just David & Mathieu' made me proud, and I liked it, for me, there was no need for further explanation.
I never asked or hoped for you to have the same requirements for yourself as I imposed on myself. I've always been very aware of your needs. The fact that it was important for me not to be touched by others, that belonged to me alone, I wish we could have navigated through that more healthily.
You often asked me what I expected from you, that it wasn't clear to you. I expected nothing more than what was ongoing. I was in this situation because I wanted to be, are you perfect as you are, I would say.... yes but no. But guess what, when I told you that you were perfect as you were, it was true, in the sense that even the things that weren't perfect made you a special thing for me. Don't try to understand, even I have difficulty understanding myself.
Trying out David & Mathieu wasn't a mistake for me, it was positive in many ways. And as I've already told you, what we had was enough for me, you were enough for me. The issues at the end for me were mostly predictable, all surmountable, and weighed less in the balance compared to the rest.
David & Mathieu was something peculiar, imperfect, and perfect at the same time. The fact that the best moments were mostly when we were alone together, that feeling that hand in hand it was us vs the rest, the feeling of pride and not wanting to be anywhere else and with anyone else at times.
I wish for us to find all of that again.
When you told me that you were lucky to have me, I was also lucky to have you, and I hope you know why.
Maybe one day, at the right time and if we both want it, we can see if it's possible to rebuild a friendly dynamic in which we both feel good. We've always managed to build better with the past. We make a good team when we're respectful and attentive.
I still wish to have you in my life, but if that's not possible, I'll respect that.
If someday we reconnect, I neither desire or need to revisit the issues we experienced. My mindset is to move towards something better and positive, not to fall back into negativity.
By the way, I have your grandfather's ring. I was wearing it when I got out of your car. If you want me to return your belongings quickly, let me know. Otherwise, don't worry, I'll take care of it.
I'll always be happy to hear from you, but I understand that you and I need space for now. Yes, even me.
This Saturday, Friday, or both nights, it's still to be determined, there's a possibility that I'll go out to the Eco with Emily. I'm not telling you to not go if that's what you had planned. But at the same time, I'd like us to respect what we need, but I don't want us to prevent each other from doing anything either.
If it happens soon that we come face to face, know that I'm no longer in the emotion, I'm good, I'll be friendly, and I'm ready to be flexible (leave) if necessary.
I don't plan to go to the Eco (a bar where we always went together, almost every weekend) often in the near future, this weekend is a bit special because Emily is staying in town exceptionally and plans to go out all weekend with friends from NY.
In conclusion, I would say once again that I respect your decision. It's unfortunate that we won't have the opportunity to continue having good times together. I've always had fun with you; it wasn't difficult.
Well, that's all. That's enough. That's already a lot.
Maybe one day I'll write a 10-minute song about an owl who always left 56,000 things at my place, who knows. 🤷🏻‍♂️ (he loves a Taylor S song that lasts 10 minutes about an ex of hers.)
Yes, I fully intend to make some cash off of you, no shame.
Bye for now
submitted by SnooChipmunks4981 to ExNoContact [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 20:58 SnooChipmunks4981 Letter to my Avoidant Ex - I need your opinions, from Avoidant and non-avoidant people

Hello everyone,
This is my first time writing here, and I'm not sure what to expect and what kind of responses I'll receive. I look forward to hearing from you!
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
I'm using fictional names.
For some context, I wrote the letter below to my "ex," although I'm not sure if I can really use the word "ex." We always referred to our relationship as simply David & Mathieu. When people asked us if we were a couple, we would say no, it was just David & Mathieu.
We were friends for a year and a half before starting a different dynamic. It wasn't planned or wanted; it just happened very naturally. He has always been someone special to me; I don't know how to explain it, but for as long as I can remember, he has been special to me, and I told him that.
Two things to know about him are that he has an avoidant attachment style, which he himself acknowledges. So sometimes it was complicated; he never reassured me about anything, had blockages like we couldn't see each other during the week, and very often I couldn't touch him (affectionately) because he needed space. But I know he made efforts and stepped out of his comfort zone for us. He started holding my hand in public by himself, opening up more and more, and introduced me to important people in his life. It may not seem like much, but for someone with an avoidant attachment style, it was already a lot.
What made the situation even more complicated is that he was also fraysexual. So as the relationship progressed, the closer we got, the less sexual interest he had in me. He still needed sex, but it wasn't possible with me. Again, he was aware of how he was, and we always talked about it openly.
David & Mathieu lasted 7 months, and what ended it were the arguments we had towards the end. I started feeling insecure about his sexuality, the fact that he was back on dating apps (he said it was just for hookups) - I believed him, but it still made me insecure, and he had trouble reassuring me. He would get angry and say that I doubted his word. Furthermore, I brought up things from the past, like a guy he had something with while we were together during the first month of David & Mathieu. Also, towards the end, he expressed his need for space and to minimize contact, and I also struggled to give him that. I believe I have an anxious attachment style, so it was complicated for me to respond to some of his requests. But when we were together, it was really good; we often told each other that the best moments together were when it was just the two of us.
Anyway, he gave reasons for ending us: that I often doubted his word, that I brought up the past too much, and that he felt like he couldn't do things he had the right to do (like sleeping with others) and that I couldn't give him the space he needed. He was always honest about not wanting to lose his freedom. I never intended to take it away from him, but sometimes I needed to discuss things to feel good, and he struggled with that.
It's been a week now since we last had contact. We never really had a discussion to close everything; he shared his decision with me over the phone, I reacted badly, I tried to convince him to change his mind, and that's it.
The day after the phone call, he still agreed to come do an activity with me, but he said only because I told him it would make me feel better, and after that activity, he gave me back the things he had at his place. I still have things with me.
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
Well, here's the letter finally.
Thank you.
I respect and understand your choice.
I've wondered if it's also what I wanted and maybe I was just delusional to think otherwise.
I'm not expecting or needing you to respond to this message. It was important for me to share my observations with a clear head rather than being in a flood of emotions. I fully understand that you don't need to receive this message, maybe you're already rolling your eyes. It's more for me that I'm doing this, it seemed like the right thing to do for me.
I'm not into blaming, victimizing, or reproaching, and I'm not taking all the blame on myself. I'll only speak about what belongs to me. I'm not angry, disappointed, and I have no negative feelings towards you. I know you're a good person with good intentions, and you never intended to hurt me in any way.
I accept your decision much more easily now that I've finally understood that having contact with me now does more harm than good. I've always wanted what's best for you and to make you feel special.
You know what I think of you, what I told you was never fake or to please you, it was simply the truth. For me, when I was with you, you were the most... things & things, and I had no interest in looking away. I never played games with you or tried to sell you dreams. I'm aware that it could have played against me, and I didn't care. But honestly, I never felt like you were taking advantage of that.
Not that I think you care about that, but I stopped talking to the guy I was chatting with at (our last activity together) on the same day. If it helps some people, that's great, but for me, jumping into something else to feel better isn't healthy, I'd find it disrespectful, and it's just not me.
Sorry for losing sight of what was important and focusing too much on the past and things that didn't matter. Sorry for not being respectful and attentive towards the end, for making you feel like I didn't trust you/wanted to restrict you/didn't understand you bettedidn't assert my limits enough, and for not giving you the space you needed. I'm not perfect, I was just doing my best.
When I told you that we were better than that, well, I failed, and I let you down in a way, I acknowledge that, and I'm sorry. I messed up, and it's okay to make mistakes. You know, humans are sometimes poorly made, losing strength to realize things that were obvious.
I have work to do on myself in several aspects. I need to avoid creating scenarios, leave the past where it is, verbalize my needs and limits more clearly, in a better way and at the right time, learn to realize that what I have in front of me is true without suspicion, and learn to say: "This thing scares me, I don't know how to tame it, I don't know how it will affect us, let's talk about it."
I think just choosing better moments for certain discussions could potentially have changed the course of things. (We often had discussions about important things when we were drunk, it always turned out badly.)
I'm still the same guy I was a week ago, I haven't magically changed already, but what I can confidently tell you is that there has been an awakening, and I'm committed to evolving and being better.
I know that for you, us, it was a challenge and maybe sometimes destabilizing, it took you out of your comfort zone. I felt that you were doing your best, I never felt like you were forcing yourself, and for example, just holding my hand in public meant something significant to you. I could have taken that into consideration more and made sure you felt good and safe instead of adding pressure and frustration.
You and I are unique individuals, for whom it's not easy to build certain dynamics, we deserved to have what we had, but with the issues at the end, sometimes it wasn't easy.
I never wanted something conventional. For me, answering the question 'Are you a couple?' with 'No, it's just David & Mathieu' made me proud, and I liked it, for me, there was no need for further explanation.
I never asked or hoped for you to have the same requirements for yourself as I imposed on myself. I've always been very aware of your needs. The fact that it was important for me not to be touched by others, that belonged to me alone, I wish we could have navigated through that more healthily.
You often asked me what I expected from you, that it wasn't clear to you. I expected nothing more than what was ongoing. I was in this situation because I wanted to be, are you perfect as you are, I would say.... yes but no. But guess what, when I told you that you were perfect as you were, it was true, in the sense that even the things that weren't perfect made you a special thing for me. Don't try to understand, even I have difficulty understanding myself.
Trying out David & Mathieu wasn't a mistake for me, it was positive in many ways. And as I've already told you, what we had was enough for me, you were enough for me. The issues at the end for me were mostly predictable, all surmountable, and weighed less in the balance compared to the rest.
David & Mathieu was something peculiar, imperfect, and perfect at the same time. The fact that the best moments were mostly when we were alone together, that feeling that hand in hand it was us vs the rest, the feeling of pride and not wanting to be anywhere else and with anyone else at times.
I wish for us to find all of that again.
When you told me that you were lucky to have me, I was also lucky to have you, and I hope you know why.
Maybe one day, at the right time and if we both want it, we can see if it's possible to rebuild a friendly dynamic in which we both feel good. We've always managed to build better with the past. We make a good team when we're respectful and attentive.
I still wish to have you in my life, but if that's not possible, I'll respect that.
If someday we reconnect, I neither desire or need to revisit the issues we experienced. My mindset is to move towards something better and positive, not to fall back into negativity.
By the way, I have your grandfather's ring. I was wearing it when I got out of your car. If you want me to return your belongings quickly, let me know. Otherwise, don't worry, I'll take care of it.
I'll always be happy to hear from you, but I understand that you and I need space for now. Yes, even me.
This Saturday, Friday, or both nights, it's still to be determined, there's a possibility that I'll go out to the Eco with Emily. I'm not telling you to not go if that's what you had planned. But at the same time, I'd like us to respect what we need, but I don't want us to prevent each other from doing anything either.
If it happens soon that we come face to face, know that I'm no longer in the emotion, I'm good, I'll be friendly, and I'm ready to be flexible (leave) if necessary.
I don't plan to go to the Eco (a bar where we always went together, almost every weekend) often in the near future, this weekend is a bit special because Emily is staying in town exceptionally and plans to go out all weekend with friends from NY.
In conclusion, I would say once again that I respect your decision. It's unfortunate that we won't have the opportunity to continue having good times together. I've always had fun with you; it wasn't difficult.
Well, that's all. That's enough. That's already a lot.
Maybe one day I'll write a 10-minute song about an owl who always left 56,000 things at my place, who knows. 🤷🏻‍♂️ (he loves a Taylor S song that lasts 10 minutes about an ex of hers.)
Yes, I fully intend to make some cash off of you, no shame.
Bye for now
submitted by SnooChipmunks4981 to u/SnooChipmunks4981 [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 18:50 CampingWorld What Are the Best Super C RVs?

When introducing the main types of motorhomes, we typically stick to the common Class A, B, and C categories. But there are two important motorhome types that some might call ‘tweeners’ – the Class B+ and the Super C RV.
While Class B+ RVs are designed to provide more luxury than your standard class B camper van, the best super C RVs are designed for more rugged, off-road use than a standard class C motorhome. Let’s learn more about Super C RVs and some of the top-selling models you can find at Camping World dealerships nationwide.

What is a Super C RV?

A Super C RV is essentially a heavier-duty upgrade to a standard Class C motorhome. Most Super C motorhomes are built on a larger, heavier truck chassis, such as the RAM® 5500 SLT, the Freightliner® S2RV, and the Ford® F-550 Chassis.
Many Super C RVs also boast more powerful diesel engines, allowing them to tow heavier loads than an average Class C motorhome. Still, the significant identifying feature shared by Class C and Super C RVs is the cabover bunk area above the driver’s cockpit.

What are the Pros and Cons of Super C RVs?

Here are some of the most important advantages and disadvantages of Super C RVs, as compared to other motorhomes:

Pros

Cons

Learn more about the pros and cons of diesel versus gas RVs.

Camping World’s Best Super C RVs

These are four of the top-selling Super C motorhomes you’ll find on Camping World lots:

Dynamax Isata 5 28SS with Xplorer Package

Powered by a Cummins 6.7L I6 turbo diesel engine, the Dynamax Isata 5 28SS boasts a 10,000-pound towing capacity for towing a larger toad or even a boat like the Nepallo. With a Quad-View camera system, you’ll have views from the hitch, the top of the rear wall, and on both sides for easy maneuvering in and out of campsites.
The exterior is equipped with a TV mount under the armless patio awning, which dramatically reduces the chances of bumping your head as you’re moving about outside your RV. The cabover mattress measures 50” x 80” for a comfortable secondary sleeping area, and the booth dinette can be upgraded to a tri-fold sofa or theater seating, depending on your preference.
Find a Dynamax Isata Super C near you.

RV Specs

Jayco Seneca Prestige 37L

https://youtu.be/kGFppR4bQDU
Of the Super C RVs on our list, the Jayco Seneca Prestige 37L boasts the highest sleeping capacity. As Chris says in the video, it’s full of luxury amenities like solid surface countertops with an undermount, stainless steel sink in the kitchen, a 50” LED TV, and a 40” electric fireplace below the entertainment center.
The overhead bunk above the cockpit boasts an impressive 750-pound weight capacity, and the included cargo net can handle up to 300 pounds if you use that area for gear storage. The JAYCOMMAND® control center powered by Firefly helps you control all the RV's interior systems from the control panel or directly from your smartphone using the mobile app.
Outside, the Seneca Prestige boasts a hitch receiver with a 12,000-pound capacity. It also has features like a water filtration system and a Thetford macerator system that would be pricey add-ons for many motorhomes. With slide-out toppers above all the slide-outs and the industry’s largest travel-view window in the entrance door, Jayco has thought of it all with this prestigious Super C RV.
Explore new and used Jayco Seneca motorhomes.

RV Specs

Thor Motor Coach Magnitude XG32

Ideal for couples or small families, the Thor Magnitude XG32 boasts a nearly full-length slide-out on the driver’s side. This dramatically increases the floor space between the theater seating on the passenger side and the dinette and kitchen on the off-camp side.
It also creates extra floorplan space for a sizeable bathroom with a 32” x 32” corner shower, a mirrored vanity, and plenty of storage for linens and bathroom essentials. The bedroom features a second slide-out that houses the 60” x 75” queen bed that’s laid out opposite a massive closet and dresser.
The exterior features a powered patio awning, an exterior 32” TV with a built-in, Bluetooth-enabled sound bar, an exterior shower and LP connection, and a 100-watt solar charging system with a power controller. This 50-amp coach also comes standard with the Winegard® Connect Wi-Fi Extender +4G and a rooftop satellite mounting backer.
Check the price of Thor Magnitude motorhomes in your region.

RV Specs

Tiffin Allegro Bay 38AB

Tiffin’s Allegro Bay 38AB is one of three floorplans offered in this Super C model. The 38AB sleeps up to six, making it ideal for families traveling with kids and their friends. Because every adventure starts with the journey to your destination, the Allegro Bay is powered by a Cummins® Quiet B6.7 360-HP diesel engine with a six-speed Allison transmission.
You can expand your destination selection with this Super C, as it’s equipped with an Onan 8,000-watt diesel generator that’ll keep your electrical systems running as long as you keep diesel fuel in the tank. Plus, its better optional upgrades include solar prep and three 200-watt solar panels with a 30-amp charge controller.
This 50-amp Super C RV also boasts plenty of holding tank capacity for boondocking trips, but the interior makes you feel like you’re glamping no matter the destination. A 20-cubic-foot refrigerator is one of the largest in the industry, and the residential microwave with an air fryer makes reheating camp meals as simple as the touch of a button.
Discover Tiffin Allegro Bay Super C RVs nationwide.

RV Specs

Thor Motor Coach Magnitude RS36

The Thor Magnitude RS36 is another 4x4 Super C RV with a 6.7L Power Stroke Turbo Diesel engine that delivers up to 12,000 pounds of towing capacity. Even if you don’t tow, that powerful engine won’t have any trouble with this RV’s heavy-duty construction, which features a welded tubular steel floor, a welded tubular aluminum roof and sidewall cage construction, and Vacu-bond laminated roof, walls, and floor.
Inside that beefy package, Thor equipped the RS36 with all the features you need for comfortable easy navigation. That includes safety features like lane departure warning and pre-collision assist, comfort amenities like adjustable pedals and heated remote exterior mirrors, and an entertainment system with an 8” color LCD touchscreen and voice-command recognition.
To keep you comfortable and keep your systems running throughout the camping season, this 50-amp coach is built with dual 13,500-BTU air conditioning units, a 100-watt solar charging system with charge controller, and a 6,000-watt Onan diesel generator with automatic generator start to keep your appliances powered when camping off-grid.
Check the price of Thor Magnitude motorhomes in your region.

RV Specs

These Super C RVs are some of the most rugged luxury RVs you’ll find. At a similar price point, here are a few other collections of luxury RVs you might be interested in:
Which of these Super C RVs is your favorite? Let us know in the comments below.
submitted by CampingWorld to campingworld [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 17:40 sheistheone71 Loosing someone I never even had

We matched on Bumble in October of 2023; it was a great time in my life. Things were finally looking up, we matched, and we chatted, but it was not a good time in your life. You were taken by work, no time for dating and definitely no time for me. SO, the conversation fizzled, and we stopped chatting, having never met.
Life got in the way, and I moved 6 hours away, I was starting over, talking to other guys and mercury was indeed in the microwave. Then I woke up to your text, “hey” you said I replied with “a blast from the past”. You told me you’ve been thinking of me, I even appeared in your dream. Over and over, I said “this is a bad idea, and this won’t work” you convinced me otherwise. I was the fool who fell for your game. Every time I said distance was hard and required effort, you said you’d put in the effort. You called me, messaged me every morning, wished me goodnight. I was quickly falling, not in love, but definitely in like. You were interested in me; you admired my work ethic and you wanted to get to know me. You had even changed jobs so you would have more time.
Then, you took a 12 hour round trip train to come see me, name one girl that wouldn’t be in awe of that, bet you can’t. You came to visit me, spent the weekend, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, three days of pure bliss filled with fun, laughter, and sexy time. I don’t regret any of it, it was an amazing weekend even though that was the beginning and the end. We went out, we had good food, we got to know each other better. You shared childhood stories, and I did the same, you bought me a rose and a hat (that I will keep because it’s actually great) needless to say it was super-duper romantic.
I dropped you off at the station, you kissed me and said, “see you soon”. AGAIN, name one girl! We continued to chat for a week, still in the like bubble, then it started; the decline, the reduction, the stalling, the ignoring, the one-word answers. We had set a couple of times to chat on the phone and you never called. You told me you’d visit me again, you never showed. Communication had tumbled down the hill and pushing it back up required hard labor.
However, I’m maturing so instead of playing your game, I set my expectations. I told you what I needed. Communication, communication, communication! We finally spoke on the phone, and I laid it out. I explained that going days without even a “what sup” was out of character and that it was not what we had been doing. You explained you’ve been “busy” which is also A-OKAY I’m not a monster nor clingy, I understand both have lives, what I needed was “Hey, I’m swamped the next couple of days, I’ll try to message you when I get a moment” Honestly, below the bare minimum if you ask me!
You actually agreed! You apologized, you explained why you were engaging in this behavior, and you said “I will do better” I could see the light at the end of that tunnel, it was fixed, our problems were resolved, and we were back baby!
WRONG, our problems were resolved for a mere 24 hours and then, poof, back to the same behavior. I should’ve known there was no changing you. But it’s not that I wanted to change you, I just wanted you to put in the same effort I was, but that was never the plan. A week after that phone call, you had officially ghosted me, my last text was seen but never answered. A phantom of my past.
Looking back at it now I can’t help but think that this was your plan all along, get in my pants, get your fill and disappear back into your life. We had this discussion before, we talked about how I wanted more than a hookup, I wanted a foundation, a relationship with someone who was into me as much as I was into him. But all you ever wanted was a couple nights of fun and then erase me from your memories.
The truth is, I’m not sad; I’m disappointed in myself for falling for your act. I’m angry at you for using me. I’m confused because I don’t understand how anyone could do that. The length you took for some sexy time baffles me. The energy you put just so you can mess with me is unmatched, I’ll rate your performance an A+.
I’m also hurt, and I feel used. I told you what I wanted, and you ignored it and did the one thing I asked you not to do. Perhaps it was a game, see how easy it would be for you to get me. You played your role well, convinced me it would be different and probably laughed on your train ride home.
You only gained from our time together, as for me, I’ve just built my walls up higher, making it harder for the next person to break me. You left me thinking, maybe I’m not wanted, maybe the problem is me, maybe there will be no love in this lifetime because every time I get closer to thinking “oh he could be the one” a man like you proves me wrong.
I want to wish you misery but that would mean I continue to think of you and frankly I don’t want you to ever cross my mind again. It’s damn hard though because every time I’m feeling alone, I think of how you ripped a piece of my sanity away. Don’t get me wrong I’m not heartbroken over a man I had only met once and talked to for less than 2 months. I’m just defeated, and hoping, wishing, praying that someone will come along to make me realize that you were indeed… just… shit.
submitted by sheistheone71 to ghosting [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 17:29 sheistheone71 Loosing someone I never even had

We matched on Bumble in October of 2023; it was a great time in my life. Things were finally looking up, we matched, and we chatted, but it was not a good time in your life. You were taken by work, no time for dating and definitely no time for me. SO, the conversation fizzled, and we stopped chatting, having never met.
Life got in the way, and I moved 6 hours away, I was starting over, talking to other guys and mercury was indeed in the microwave. Then I woke up to your text, “hey” you said I replied with “a blast from the past”. You told me you’ve been thinking of me, I even appeared in your dream. Over and over, I said “this is a bad idea, and this won’t work” you convinced me otherwise. I was the fool who fell for your game. Every time I said distance was hard and required effort, you said you’d put in the effort. You called me, messaged me every morning, wished me goodnight. I was quickly falling, not in love, but definitely in like. You were interested in me; you admired my work ethic and you wanted to get to know me. You had even changed jobs so you would have more time.
Then, you took a 12 hour round trip train to come see me, name one girl that wouldn’t be in awe of that, bet you can’t. You came to visit me, spent the weekend, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, three days of pure bliss filled with fun, laughter, and sexy time. I don’t regret any of it, it was an amazing weekend even though that was the beginning and the end. We went out, we had good food, we got to know each other better. You shared childhood stories, and I did the same, you bought me a rose and a hat (that I will keep because it’s actually great) needless to say it was super-duper romantic.
I dropped you off at the station, you kissed me and said, “see you soon”. AGAIN, name one girl! We continued to chat for a week, still in the like bubble, then it started; the decline, the reduction, the stalling, the ignoring, the one-word answers. We had set a couple of times to chat on the phone and you never called. You told me you’d visit me again, you never showed. Communication had tumbled down the hill and pushing it back up required hard labor.
However, I’m maturing so instead of playing your game, I set my expectations. I told you what I needed. Communication, communication, communication! We finally spoke on the phone, and I laid it out. I explained that going days without even a “what sup” was out of character and that it was not what we had been doing. You explained you’ve been “busy” which is also A-OKAY I’m not a monster nor clingy, I understand both have lives, what I needed was “Hey, I’m swamped the next couple of days, I’ll try to message you when I get a moment” Honestly, below the bare minimum if you ask me!
You actually agreed! You apologized, you explained why you were engaging in this behavior, and you said “I will do better” I could see the light at the end of that tunnel, it was fixed, our problems were resolved, and we were back baby!
WRONG, our problems were resolved for a mere 24 hours and then, poof, back to the same behavior. I should’ve known there was no changing you. But it’s not that I wanted to change you, I just wanted you to put in the same effort I was, but that was never the plan. A week after that phone call, you had officially ghosted me, my last text was seen but never answered. A phantom of my past.
Looking back at it now I can’t help but think that this was your plan all along, get in my pants, get your fill and disappear back into your life. We had this discussion before, we talked about how I wanted more than a hookup, I wanted a foundation, a relationship with someone who was into me as much as I was into him. But all you ever wanted was a couple nights of fun and then erase me from your memories.
The truth is, I’m not sad; I’m disappointed in myself for falling for your act. I’m angry at you for using me. I’m confused because I don’t understand how anyone could do that. The length you took for some sexy time baffles me. The energy you put just so you can mess with me is unmatched, I’ll rate your performance an A+.
I’m also hurt, and I feel used. I told you what I wanted, and you ignored it and did the one thing I asked you not to do. Perhaps it was a game, see how easy it would be for you to get me. You played your role well, convinced me it would be different and probably laughed on your train ride home.
You only gained from our time together, as for me, I’ve just built my walls up higher, making it harder for the next person to break me. You left me thinking, maybe I’m not wanted, maybe the problem is me, maybe there will be no love in this lifetime because every time I get closer to thinking “oh he could be the one” a man like you proves me wrong.
I want to wish you misery but that would mean I continue to think of you and frankly I don’t want you to ever cross my mind again. It’s damn hard though because every time I’m feeling alone, I think of how you ripped a piece of my sanity away. Don’t get me wrong I’m not heartbroken over a man I had only met once and talked to for less than 2 months. I’m just defeated, and hoping, wishing, praying that someone will come along to make me realize that you were indeed… just… shit.
submitted by sheistheone71 to dating [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 15:32 CatatonicTub Leasing Home - 40215

Hello!
I am posting this to see if anyone needs to move within the next month! This property is two bedrooms, one bath. Full basement with washer and dryer hookups. Oven and fridge are included. Located in a safe area that is right by an elementary school!
I am looking to move by July, all that is needed is to income quality! No security deposit required as it has already been paid! Feel free to PM with any questions!
submitted by CatatonicTub to louisvilleclassifieds [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 11:16 wildhighs Riverside Camping in Himachal Pradesh

Discover the Wild Highs: Riverside Camping in Himachal Pradesh

Nestled in the northern part of India, Himachal Pradesh is a paradise for nature lovers and adventure seekers. Known for its breathtaking landscapes, snow-capped mountains, and serene rivers, this state offers some of the most pristine camping experiences. Among the various camping options, riverside camping stands out for its unique blend of tranquility and thrill. If you’re looking to immerse yourself in nature, Wild Highs provides an unparalleled Riverside camping in Himachal Pradesh that will leave you rejuvenated and inspired.

Why Riverside Camping?

Imagine waking up to the soothing sounds of a river flowing gently by your side, the crisp mountain air filling your lungs, and the sight of verdant greenery stretching as far as the eye can see. Riverside camping offers a refreshing escape from the hustle and bustle of city life, allowing you to reconnect with nature in its purest form. Whether you’re a solo traveler, a couple seeking a romantic getaway, or a family looking for an adventurous holiday, Riverside camping in Himachal Pradesh is an experience you shouldn’t miss.

The Wild Highs Experience

  1. Prime Locations
Wild Highs curates some of the most stunning riverside camping spots in Himachal Pradesh. From the banks of the Beas River in Manali to the serene Parvati Valley, each campsite is chosen for its natural beauty and peaceful ambiance. These locations not only provide a perfect camping experience but also offer a gateway to explore the local culture and attractions.
  1. Comfortable and Eco-Friendly Accommodations
At Wild Highs, we believe in providing comfort without compromising on the eco-friendly aspect of camping. Our tents are spacious, well-equipped, and designed to blend seamlessly with the natural surroundings. Each tent comes with cozy bedding, ensuring a good night’s sleep after a day of adventure. We also take pride in our sustainable practices, ensuring minimal impact on the environment.
  1. Adventure Activities
Riverside camping with Wild Highs is not just about relaxation; it’s also about adventure. Our campsites offer a plethora of activities to keep your adrenaline pumping. From white-water rafting and kayaking to trekking and rock climbing, there’s something for every adventure enthusiast. For those who prefer a slower pace, guided nature walks, bird watching, and fishing are great ways to explore the local flora and fauna.
  1. Delicious Local Cuisine
No camping experience is complete without good food. At Wild Highs, we serve delicious local Himachali cuisine prepared with fresh, locally sourced ingredients. Our meals are not only nutritious but also give you a taste of the region’s rich culinary heritage. Enjoy your meals by the riverside, under the open sky, for a truly immersive dining experience.
  1. Personalized Service
We understand that each camper has unique preferences and needs. That’s why Wild Highs offers personalized services to ensure your camping experience is exactly how you envisioned it. Whether it’s arranging special activities, dietary requirements, or setting up a surprise for a loved one, our team is dedicated to making your stay memorable.

What to Pack for Riverside Camping

While we provide most of the essentials, here’s a quick checklist of items you should bring to ensure a comfortable stay:

Conclusion

Riverside camping in Himachal Pradesh with Wild Highs offers an experience that is both thrilling and serene. It’s a chance to disconnect from the digital world and reconnect with nature, all while enjoying the comforts of well-equipped accommodations and the excitement of outdoor adventures. So, pack your bags and get ready to create unforgettable memories amidst the stunning landscapes of Himachal Pradesh. Your riverside adventure awaits!
submitted by wildhighs to u/wildhighs [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 03:39 yukonwanderer Washing machine in basement, want to avoid demo concrete floor

In Ontario. New washer dryer and laundry sink being installed. No existing hookups to the stack down here. One floor drain. Terrible layout with location of stack vs furnace etc. anyway...
Want to avoid having to excavate concrete floor. House is ~100 old. Ceilings are low, I would guess 6' to bottom of joist. Don't care about aesthetics down here. Worried about dimensions.
Is this correct:
  1. Length of pipe from the standpipe/p trap to stack cannot exceed 5'? Or is it 6'?
  2. A vent must be installed off this drain pipe that hits the stack at a point a minimum 6" higher than top of washer. Is there a max run length for the vent?
  3. This vent entry point needs to also be minimum 6" below any bend in the main stack.
  4. Can the lines to the stack have many horizontal turns as required? as long as they're 45s, or long 90's for the drains? Layout is very tough down here.
submitted by yukonwanderer to Plumbing [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 22:20 AgentPaste I feel so guilty, need fun ideas

I feel so guilty, need fun ideas
A work thing came up for my wife who runs a business, she is moving a venue she runs to a much larger location… however that requires us to manually clear out the building which was absolutely thrashed by the previous tenant. We took Stella (almost 4 month golden) with us and drove cross country. We have been here for 2 weeks sleeping in either hotels or our camper van. Stella has been BEYOND fantastic even though she’s been basically locked up in the break room with her sister (an old fat French bulldog) and out 10 year old son.I feel guilty I can’t provide tons of stimulation at the moment cause I’m doing manual labor 10 hrs a day and am physically exhausted at the end of each day.
Apart from food and treats (what she basically lives for) any ideas for low energy (on my side) fun time for the little girl?
Hopefully we will be done in the next week or so and can get back to normal life. Thanks.
submitted by AgentPaste to goldenretrievers [link] [comments]


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