Harrison Butker’s commencement speech has been spending entirely too much time living rent-free in my head. I’ve seen a lot of “I cannot believe he said that in 2024!” and disbelief that anyone still actually thinks like that. A lot of women (including myself) are justifiably livid. But it doesn’t surprise me. I grew up in a place where those ideas were just…life.
I (37F) grew up “evangelical-adjacent.” I say this because, while my parents never really subscribed to the gender or social norms of conservative evangelicalism, most people around me did. I went to church camps as a teen, and at my religiously-affiliated college, traditional gender roles were expected, and even joked about (gotta get that MRS degree!).
As I’ve grown older, I’ve come to realize how much that entire way of thinking permeated not only my life, but my psyche. And that is what makes me SO MAD about that commencement speech. I know what imbibing those gender assumptions can do. I internalized all of the traditional gender roles I was exposed to as a teenager and young adult, and the result is an adult woman who feels incredible guilt for wanting and needing fulfillment elsewhere.
This legacy of evangelical gender norms in my life has hurt my marriage. My husband and I have had so many fights about unequal division of labor, but not because he was lazy or uninvolved—because he wanted to be my partner, and I wouldn’t let him. It took 6 months of couples counseling for me to recognize this. I was taking everything on myself without communicating to him that I was drowning, because the gender roles I was exposed to when I was younger were showing back up again after our son was born.
I married a man who wants to be an equal partner in all things. But the entrenched conviction of “women are supposed to do this” has its hold on me, even still. After 6.5 years of marriage, my husband recently took over all the cooking, meal planning, and thinking about food in our house. He had been begging me to let him do that for YEARS—and I couldn’t let him, because doing so somehow meant that I’d failed as a woman and as a wife. And even when I did finally get out of my own way, it took a lot longer before it just became second nature. I still feel guilty about it sometimes, like last night, when I collapsed after a very tough week at work while he both made dinner and entertained our toddler.
I have chosen a career over staying at home, and I would rather manage a project at work than make dinner. And the guilt I sometimes feel about the fact that I prefer those things is painful. “You don’t get personal fulfillment from baking cookies? What kind of woman are you?”
So this is why this speech makes me so mad: because I have tried to live that life, and found it so unfulfilling as to be damaging. I will be working to untangle the legacy of evangelical social thought from my life forever. I knew I wanted something different than that for my life, and I don’t live in that world anymore. But the legacy is real.
*I know Butker is a Trad Catholic, not an evangelical, and that there are differences. But the thinking on gender roles and women’s rights is the same; Trad Catholics just throw some Latin in on the top.

So I’ve been thinking a lot about ranked mode and while they seem like an obvious route to take when making an online game where people play against each other. It usually aims to separate the player base by skill level but I also think it tries to separate the player base by ‘intent’. And by that I mean players in ranked usually are looking for the sweatiest lobbies and pubs are usually for the chill games.
But because for ranked there’s usually some risk to playing (losing your rank), sweats still end up playing in pubs a good portion of their time. In which they are paired up with a lot of people playing in ‘chill’ mode and both parties usually end up having a bad game because of it. And likewise chill mode players end up in ranked because it’s the only way to get compared.
So all this made me start thinking that intent is a better metric for matchmaking than skill level. This maybe completely subjective but I feel like players regardless of skill would have a better time playing with someone who has the same intent as them more than just as the same skill level as them.
For example if I’m taking a game real serious, learning call outs, trying to communicate intently, etc.. I would wayyyy rather have teammates in the same mindset than teammates who are just no-comm-troll-wide-peaking demons who don’t miss.. And in the same boat if I’m just loading up a game to fuck around and try stuff I don’t want to feel bad because my teammate is super try harding and I barely give af about the buttons I’m pressing.
So my proposed solution is to just simply have two separate identical queues one named sweat and other named chill. With the only difference being the mindset/intent of the players when they queued up.
This way you know everyone on your team is in the same mindset, so if you want to start getting sweaty out the gate in character selection and suggest operators for your teammates go right ahead in the sweat lobbies because all they care about it is winning.
I would actually make another change to solve ranking of players in both modes. Sweat purely determined by the numbers k/d, win ratio etc (the standard) and chill mode purely player voted. As in the players vote who you they think was the best/most fun to play against.
My idea for chill mode voting would be thumbs up/thumbs down option in the kill cam. I think it would be really cool to see how that sorted the tiers. What type of gameplay would the top rank chill mode players have? My guess would be the most stylish and the most big brain players.
Anyways that’s my rant on ranked matchmaking let me know what you think, is it stupid, amazing? Should I get hired as a gaming director or should I never be allowed near a controller again. Find out below!

I never did want it to come to this. To the point where I felt so much hurt and hate for and surrounding every situation with you at the same time. I don't understand how you can say you want to kill somebody then run to your little boyfriend about me patting you “really hard” on the shoulder. Like for once in your life grow the fuck up and come get my ass off property. Like literally all you do is run your mouth and I wasn't willing to go to jail before but you don't fucking sit there and tell someone you were going to kill the only person that gave you a home. Like what you do is not okay. Miss “I don't want to be like my mother” but gets herself high on meth and xanax. And yeah we did talk to your dad, we cried our fucking eyes out to him because you werent there anymore. If anyone wanted or wants to ruin anyones life its you wanting to fuck up everyone else’s so they can be sad like you. I miss when we didn’t fight all the time. When we were in 7th grade and didn't hate each other. When you weren't doing all these drugs just to be happy with yourself. I miss when I didn’t feel the need to hurt you like you did me, and all the other people that gave you homes and tried their best to make you feel safe and loved because we knew that your real family couldn't do that for you. I loved you like a best friend, and you fucked that over for yourself. I’m sorry, and I will be sorry when I catch you off property, because a part of me still misses when we would run around late at night, or go to the park and have long trauma dump talks on the swingset. I miss being your friend, and I feel sorry for you. I miss not hating you, I miss not wanting to hurt you. I thought it was me and you, “connected” is how you put it I think. I feel sorry for myself too, for believing that you had any other intention than to hurt me. It sucks. This sucks. Everything sucks.
And now it's later, and I find myself doing the only thing I know how to regulate my emotions. I don't want to hurt you. I never did. 5 people telling me to beat your ass, and I would have if you weren't on property. I feel somewhat glad that you stayed in the seat, though. Somewhat happy that you didn't get up and start talking back. I don't really want to hurt you. I want to show you how I felt when you were the only person I felt I could have TRULY MEANINGFUL conversations with and you wouldn't care what I said or how I said it you would make me feel heard and seen. So here I sit, arm and thigh stinging and sticking to my jacket and boxers. I wish things would have ended differently. I wish you would have pulled your head out of your ass and saw that we needed you as much as you needed us. That we stopped taking care of ourselves to shield you from the world. To help you from everything that hurt you, and you turn on us like we were nothing to you. Do you even stop for a second to think about how that makes us feel? Maybe we do need help, maybe I need help. Maybe I am crashing out and you were my breaking point. I guess we will never know. I hope your arms start to sting when I bring the blade down, I hope your stomach drops whenever you hear my name or see me. I hope you feel everything agonizing just like I am now. I hope that you go back, and rot in the same world you came from, hell. But at the same time you don't deserve anything that happened to you when you didn't know what was going on. I know you didn’t want to end up like her but you did, and you were the reason and will be the reason that I crash out and lose myself once again. I hope you know in the process of doing whatever the fuck you think your doing, you made and make me want to take my own life. You made and somehow still manage to make my life a living hell. If you want to kill me come fucking do it because I don't want to fight you anymore. My life was ehh before you, and is absolute shit now. So please, be my guest, take me away L.

[First] [Previous] [Next]
When I wake up the next day, my head is swirling with questions. As I get up from my bed and go to clean myself, I can’t help but question everything! Did last night actually happen? I am pretty sure it did, but it all felt so bizarre… and wonderful! There’s a planetarium in the city, and it is magical in the most literal sense of the word! There are books on magic there, too! So I can probably start studying and learning more next time I visit!

Speaking of books… I have something to check there, don’t I?

As soon as I am out of the bathroom I go to the living room to get my pills and then, I start passing the pages of Humiko’s book. As I reach the ‘Epilogue’ section, I confirm to my horror that the words have completely disappeared.

In a panic, fearing the worst, I check my notes… oh, good, those were still here.

“What, were you fearing they would simply disappear too? Idiot.”

“Hey, with magic we really know nothing. It could have happened!”

I do feel a little silly but, yeah. For all we know, it could have happened. The point is that it didn’t!

Breathing way easier now, I sit down on one of the couches and sigh. Picking up my phone, I can confirm that it's Friday and it’s already eleven past noon. I guess this time I am justified in sleeping so much? But at the same time, I can’t help but feel a little guilty.

“Because you’re being lazy, even with your free time.”

With another deep sigh, I try to ignore the voices and just look straight up at the ceiling, tapping my chin for a moment.

How do we proceed from here?

Pelafina said I shouldn’t visit the Elysium early, because it gets full of people. I wonder how true that is… actually, I wonder how true anything she said was.

“Since when are you this distrustful?”

I don’t know. I don’t even know why I lied to her in the first place, but I just felt that this phrase, the one long complete phrase I managed to translate, is far more important than I know. I can’t share it… I actually don’t want to share anything with this lady?

“She will probably send the Cloaks if you stop cooperating though.”

That much I know, and I hate it. She has all the control over the situation!

“There’s one thing she can’t control though. She has no idea about your internet activity now, does she?”

… Good point. I have to focus on that!

I actually have to get back to GalaxyTaco, too! See what he's been doing and all that!

“But before all that, breakfast.”

Ah, right. Almost forgot… although, wouldn’t it be better to just ask for lunch at this point?

“Fair.”

Yes! Time for a burger.

“They feel blander and blander every time you buy one. Why even bother?”

Because they are still delicious, and more importantly, they are cheap and fast!

I quickly order a special Bisontian burger, with extra cheese of course, and then sit back down at the table, connecting my computer to the TER and tapping away a message at GalaxyTaco, to let them know I am up. Then, I write down my discoveries in the file I’m keeping. I’ll transcribe them to the notepad later.

I am adding the symbols (which I’ve learned are called Runes after a visit to the Elysium), meanings and effects I’ve learned. I’ve also learned that I can create Glyphs, which are combinations of Runes to create different effects. I wonder if they are phrases in the language!

Speaking of. They don’t even know it’s a language, they just seem to assume the symbols have effects and that’s it! Maybe they use it, but they haven’t fully grasped the implications yet.

That feels surprisingly shallow though. Just how much knowledge do these people have of magic? Is magic a recent discovery?

Or is there something else keeping people ignorant…?

The burger arrives not too long after I am done writing. I eat it while ruminating on the subject a bit further. They are not idiots, are they? To me, the first thing that comes to my mind when seeing symbols if they are part of a bigger language or something like that. Then again, maybe the lack of translation dissuaded them from experimenting further?

Stuff is not fitting as nicely as I wish…

I am about to write a little more when suddenly, I am added to a group in my messenger service. GalaxyTaco is alive! But not only them! There’s two other people in the conversation too.

Panic ensues, at least for a moment.

“Okay. Just keep calm.” I tell to myself. “Take a deep breath… phew… and let’s do this.”

My fingers are preparing to write some quick and tasteless introduction, when suddenly someone beats me to the punch.

ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: HIIIIIII!! ^0^!!

Oh no. A weeb, and a very strong one at that. I can feel her aura, her reiatsu, pushing down on me like a wave of augmented gravity. There are two chances here: I either get along real well with this person, or we hate each other on sight. There’s no middle ground among us.

ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: don’t be shy! :3 we’re friends here, I swear!

Well they are being real nice at least. Could be worse, they could be souseiseki.

man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): yo, you there?

Who the hell are these people!? I assume they are friends of GalaxyTaco, right? I really want to be patient but, damn it, new people get me nervous so easily…

xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Hi there, hi! n.nUu sorry, this whole deal took me by surprise.
ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: ohhhh it is fine! uwu gal-kun told us everything!
ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: you must be so scared Dx I know I was when I got started!
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Well it has certainly been a journey, heheh n.n but I’ve managed.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: I found the Elysium last night so, at least there’s that!
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): good job, that’s a big advancement actually
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): next you gotta find the clinic, though
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: There’s a clinic too? O.o
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): yep. but we’ll explain all that later
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): i’m canny btw. cannedtea at the forum, remember me?

My face burns a little bit when remembering this guy. I wasn’t expecting to find him again so quickly.

“Gay.”

Shut up.

ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: the name’s Aoi! ^0^/ UwU28 at the forum!
ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: sorry I didn’t comment your topic, i am a bit shy xwxUu
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: It’s all fine, no worries n.n I’m Tav! But you two probably know that already
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): it bears repeating, girl. it bears repeating.
ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: yeah! ^^/
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: alright I’m back! sorry I was seeing grandma to bed heheh

I sigh in relief, cleaning the sweat off my brow. Thanks saints, this was going to be a little too much for me to handle alone!

ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: oh hey gal-kun ~
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: reading up I see you’re all introduced, good good!
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: now I just gotta introduce the plan to you Tav, so pay attention!
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: I’m ready! o.o
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: alright, so
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: to avoid 82’s wrath?
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: canny here will be your voucher.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: huh?
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: just put him in your profile and he’ll cover for you.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: And you’re okay with that, Canny? ;w; really!?
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): eyeup, don’t worry girl. I gotchu.
ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: canny-kun and mort-sama covered for me when I just got in too :3 he’s the best!

For a moment I blink. Huh? Covered for Aoi? Does that mean they are also a Bastard Mage? What does that mean? Did they just find the link somewhere, too?

Questions for later, I guess.

xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Thank you so much Canny! ;w;
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): no prob bob
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): is it chill if I add you? you seem cool
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Ah, of course! :3 Add away! You too, Aoi-chan.
ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: EEEEE! Arigatou!! ^w^ <3 <3
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: oh yeah that reminds me.
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: Aoi, ain’t you forgetting something?
ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: ah right!!! Tavy! what are your pronouns? o.o!

What?

ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: you put you’d rather not say your gender and that’s so cool! I wanna know what to call you though! uwu
ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: if that’s okay of course ^.^
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: Aoi that is NOT what I meant damn it!
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): nono, she’s right.
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): sorry i kept callin you girl
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: not you too canny… focus!

I have never been asked that before… I mean, I have, by computers. But by people, it feels… odd.

I like it.

“You’re going to start with your delusions again?”

“They can identify as anything. Stop being so harsh!”

xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: … I think I will go with she/her.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Is that okay? n.n
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): girl, don’t ask US
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): ask yourself
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): not the mean voice of anxiety, not the shit your guardians told ya
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): are YOU okay with it?

I feel the words pierce my chest for a moment. I gasp for air, my eyes opening a little more.

“This is all just play pretend. Don’t take it so much to heart.”

Shut up.

“What!?”

I said shut up. This time, this is for me. I decide this.

“You little ungrateful asshole…”

I want this. This makes me feel good and I will seize it. And you can go kiss my ass, you hear me!?

“...”

xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: … Yeah. Yeah, I think I am okay with it n//n
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): atta girl
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): it’s chill to call you a girl right?
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Yeah yeah, I like it! n.n
ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: yayayay Tavy-chan! :3
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: huh. that’s unexpectedly wholesome…
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: but let’s focus! Aoi! do you have the book?
ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: right here boss! o.o7

ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!! has sent you bastard_recipe_book.pdf
Accept?

Huh? A pdf? I hesitate for a moment but, hell, maybe it’s magic and magic can’t get viruses or something. I just click it.

ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: this is the rulebook for us Bastards, don’t tell nobody about it though OoO!
ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: it’s a seecret~
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: A secret book… now that’s cool uwu
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): man, tav’s first secret
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): granny get the camera
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: lol
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: no but really, read it, study it well
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: it’s all vital.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: will do! I’ll print it and get to it right now
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: NO!
ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: TAVY-CHAN WAIT
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): wait a sec tav
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Huh? O.o
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: don’t print that one!
ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: yeah you can’t print magic books, it’s risky
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): the runes can activate and shit would go boom
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Oh, okay o.o
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Man I hate reading on the computer! ;w;
ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: sorry tavy-chan ;w;!! but that’s the only way!
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: yeah… anyways, I gotta go to bed, real badly.
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: I trust you got it from here right?
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Yep! n.n
ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: byeeee everyone!! uwu see you in dejima!
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): see you around

I sigh and slowly lean back on my chair. That was intense, way too intense… but I am smiling. Really, this is some proper progress! I finally have tools to work on my own! Maybe I can even translate some more after learning magic!

“Are you sure that’s all you’re happy about?~”

… Shut up. Don’t look too deep into the whole ‘pronoun’ thing.

I am opening the file I got when, suddenly, another message hits me.

It’s from Canny!

man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): hey tav
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): if you don’t wanna read it on computer you can get it physical.

Whuh?

man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): you said you found an elysium, was it in a library?
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Yeah! o.o
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): thought so
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): look through the mundane part of the library, specifically in the section where you get cooking recipes
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): see if you can find a cheap notebook that says ‘MAGIC’ in it.
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): open it, say ‘jantar mantar’ to it, and that’s your ticket.

My eyes light up. A secret book, hidden under the cloak’s noses like that? That’s perfect!

man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): the book’s written in draconic, which basically means only mages can read the real shit and you can’t destroy it
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Wait what? O.o Draconic? Are dragons a thing here?
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): not anymore they ain’t
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Aww :c
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Wait,I can’t destroy it? O.o No matter how much I try?
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): i mean, you can, but it won’t do nothin
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): don’t worry about it
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Ok! n.n but hey I don’t know Draconic D:!
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): don’t worry about it girlie
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Yay! n.n I will go get it then
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): get some other books too, in case you’re being tailed.
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): good luck tav
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Thank you Canny!
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Ah! I will be on my phone so don’t send me magic stuff for a while, okay?
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): gonna teach you the glyph for your phone later.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Yipee!! n.n
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Ah hell, sorry for that úwu
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): you’re fine girl
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): good luck.

I feel motivated, so motivated that I stand up immediately, close my computer, and finish my hamburger on the spot.

“Going out again!? Hah.”

I am running out of mean things to say, that’s a good sign.

“Don’t count on it.”

“You are doing great. Let’s go! The day’s young and we have notes to take!”

Yes! I don’t even notice the door in my way this time! I just go out and hop my way over to the elevator.

To the library! Again!

Dr. K's guide's main selling point is that it gives you already-available information in a very well structured guide / path. When you pay for the guide, you're paying for an effective condensed map of a lot of topics with a guiding path on how to approach it all. This is incredibly useful, but I think it's wrong to be giving away this very valuable helpful tool as prizes in events/contests and advertising temporary season-deals on this (it makes mental health feel so commercialized). So here are some ideas for additional features that could be added to the guide and give a slightly different incentive to buy Dr. K's guide, and could even make the base guide free for everyone, to increase the amount of AOE healing. Here's how I envision the "new Dr. K guide":
Interactive courses
Dr. K often talks about how even just understanding your thoughts and the way your brain works can be essential to improvement in many cases. But what's even more important is using this knowledge in a personalized way and acting on it. Dr. K's guide includes interactive meditation videos, but meditation is not a one-size-fits-all thing that works in all situations. What I believe does universally work, however, is reflecting on the things you learn and writing down how it applies to you and your life. People who pay for the new Dr. K guide could get access to interactive nodes where you are guided to note down how the previous few nodes that you've been through applies to your life and how it has motivated you to see things differently, or try something new, or simply see things in a different way. These notes can be revisited to remind yourself how you applied the knowledge to your life and what positive changes came from those nodes.
Interactive courses with parents
Again, knowledge is key, but practice and reflection after gaining the knowledge is even more important. Parents play an important role in their children's lives, but they don't always know how to communicate and help them. No video or guide can fully teach how a parent should raise their teenager, but it can give the necessary tools that can be applied with the help of feedback and communication between the parents and the child. A shared path in the Dr. K guide that requires a collaborative effort from both the parents and the child could be added for a joint-effort path which could even create a nice bonding experience for them. For example first the child has to go through 3 nodes, and the parents 2 nodes, then a a shared interactive reflection node gets unlocked.
Multiplayer features
Imagine having 2-3 "secret friends" - anonymous users of the Dr. K guide that you could interact with. No, I'm not talking about chat, that would be too personal and difficult to moderate, but what about a feature that allows you to star or highlight 3 courses/nodes that you find extra useful or good. These would show up to your "friends" and you will also see their recommendations. It adds an element of interactivity and allows users to share their experience with what helped them the most. Notes and any user-inputs should not be shared, and your "secret friends" could be swapped out if they go inactive for a few days. I don't think the shared path like in the interactive courses with parents section would work here.
Statistics
The goal of the guide, and any help resource, should be to give you the tools and knowledge to incorporate helpful changes to your daily life to the point where you no longer need the guide or help resources. This requires a lot of experimenting and actively noticing what works for you specifically. Tracking your own improvement can therefore be a very useful statistic to see you're progressing towards that goal. Mood and mental health is extremely hard to quantify though, but ideally it should help you see if you're on the right track or not.
With all these additions to the guide, I think the base guide with all the paths and videos (but without progress tracking and completed-status on courses/nodes) could be made public, free of charge, and these new features would make it worth paying for. What do you think?
Some additional notes:
Questions for the reflection nodes could in essence be something like "What is one thing you have learned about yourself?" or "Can you think of a specific situation that happened where what you have just learned might be relevant? What actions can you connect to maintaining those happy situations, or avoid those negative situations?". Also, these reflection notes (and shared reflection nodes for parents+children) should be skippable and re-visitable. It shouldn't break the flow of users who enjoy the guide as it is now.
Ideally, all these extra features should be toggleable. You should be able to turn off the things you don't want and get back to the basic familiar guide if you would like - I don't want to make any ruining changes to something that works well for someone already.

I’m a business consultant who’s helped my clients sell over $12,000,000 of their courses/coaching/membership sites/masterminds/etc ⚡
How?
These are my top 9 sales systems we use to scale to $500,000+ per year without sales calls or a huge ad budget:
But before I break down these 9 systems for you, I need to make a quick disclaimer:
The #1 issue I see with Coaches who are failing to monetize their free audience is failing to understand their audience. Too many Coaches suffer from chronic ME SYNDROME: They keep posting complicated, or even sometimes downright wacky topics over and over again - somehow never noticing that these posts make 0 sales.
So if you keep failing to connect with their needs & desires, these systems won’t work for you. That’s something you need to fix first.
But if you’re like most of my clients, you don’t have a problem CONNECTING with your audience - you have a problem MONETIZING them.
And that’s exactly what the $1M Email Marketing Engine Framework fixes!
The best part is these $1M Email Marketing Engine systems is that they’re:
🟣 ACTIONABLE SYSTEMS: You can use it to increase the conversion rate of your marketing and sales assets immediately…
🟣 FLEXIBLE FOR ANY INDUSTRY: They’re adaptable enough to use in YOUR business so you can get more sales without spending more on ads or new team ASAP...

System #1 $1M Welcome Series

What is it: Get your 1st sale from new subscribers in 1 week
A) Go BEYOND introducing Leads to your free content… Introduce them to your Lead Magnets & Offers too
B) You can dedicate (minimum) 1 interesting “edu-tainment” email to EACH of your top Lead Magnets & Offers
C) In the emails, you can take either a “direct response” approach by telling a story leading into the transition for the featured LMs/Offers OR an “educational” approach where you give a fast + interesting “pre-Lesson” to what’s covered when they click to learn more
D) How long this system is will depend on how many worthwhile Offers (free + paid) you have to put in front of new subscribers
E) These emails are for a general audience who “just subscribed” to your list, so think of this conceptually as a “Greatest Hits Album” and give them your best stuff!

System #2 $1M Main Sales Series

What is it: Sell while you sleep
A) You should create a minimum of ONE SYSTEM FOR EVERY PAID PRODUCT
B) There are 6 main email formats in this system: “Introducing”, The Lesson, The Resource, The Proof, The Objection Killer, The Triple Close™
C) “Introducing”: A hard-sell email clearly about the offer, this email should explain the offer in its entirety (setting you up to talk about different parts of the value over the next emails), and can use either a straightforward/direct style or more of a “storytelling” style
D) The Lesson: Teach something that gives Leads a “quick win” that’s relevant to what you’re asking them to buy (this can either be something from the program, or it can be related “prep work”) + soft CTA
E) The Resource: Build trust by proving that you’re credible, link out to content you’ve either A) Created B) Been featured in C) Recommend (Cialdini “Persuasion Principle” of Reciprocity by giving them the good good) + soft CTA
F) The Proof: Testimonials, can either be 1 long one or several short ones + hard CTA
G) The Objection Killer: Can be an FAQ, or any other style but directed to addressing the most common objections
H) The Triple Close™: A technique I invented while working with a household-name influence (he’s a CAA speaker), a combination of 3 AM/PM/Late Nite on the final day - AM & PM being “hard sell” closes, and Late Nite focusing on FOMO
I) START creating 1 per product, feed back your new results, and created 2ND+ Main Sales Series per product over time

System #3 Abandon Cart+ Series

What is it: Recover up to 3x+ more buyers who ditch you during checkout
A) Most abandoned cart emails 1) start too late 2) give up too early
B) Contact them MULTIPLE TIMES on Day 1 (15m after, 1hr after, 8-12hrs after)
C) Contact them FOR MULTIPLE DAYS, like 2-5+ days afterwards
D) For the later touch points, focus on A) Testimonials B) Demonstrating the value/use cases

System #4 Review Series

What is it: Leverage your buyers to get more consistent social proof
A) ⬆️ 99% of people forget this
B) Include STEP-BY-STEP directions + links for exactly how/where you want to be reviewed
C) Try a 1-5 or :D : :( rating system where GOOD responses = hyperlinked to reviews and BAD responses = hyperlinked to an INTERNAL product improvement feedback form

System #5 Educational Cross-Sell Series

What is it: Automatically turn 1st time buyers into 2nd, 3rd, 4th+ buyers
A) Make sure EVERY unique product has its own tag in your CRM
B) Trigger based on “if you DON’T have this tag”
C) Can use your Main Sales Series for the different products for this purpose OR you can create unique systems SPECIFICALLY ADDRESSED to people who don’t buy the products based on the fact that they have your most common entry point (eg of the people who get your Best Seller, WHY DON’T THEY take the next step? What are their limiting beliefs?)

System #6 VIP Series

What is it: Build a tight-knit community who LOVES your brand
A) Ascend your biggest fans to your HT products
B) Evergreen your HT offers so that not only are you potentially making launches/live pushes for them during the year, but you’re ALSO automatically sending communications out to Clients who meet certain criteria
C) What % of your customers own 2 products? What % own 3? Keep going until you identify a “Top 10-ish%” - those are your VIPs (Here’s a real example from 1 of my clients: 1 Product = 63.7% 2 Products = 20.5% 3 Products = 15.2% 4 Products = .4% 5 Products = .3% ➡️ so their VIPs would be anyone who has 3+ products)

System #7 Winback Series

What is it: Reactivate lost Clients
A) Identify the timeframe for “lapsed client” that makes sense for your sales cycle
B ) Start by sending an exit survey to find out why they left
C) Offer a discount, or other special offer
D) Email them EARLY AND OFTEN (can start from 15m after the payment failure, providing a link to update their payment info)
E) Send emails that QUANTIFY YOUR VALUE, how do you save them money? How do you save them time? HOW MUCH money or time over 1 month, 3 months, or since they started? (Could do “since they started” with conditional formatting blocks to plan start date)
F) Incorporate social proof

System #8 Preventative Plan Cancellation Series

What is it: Avoid costly cancellations and reduce customer churn rate in subscription models
A) Now you know the “lapsed client” timeframe, contact them BEFORE that time period
B) Remind them of the value you provide
C) Offer a survey
D) Ask if they need to switch their plans or how your current offer is meeting their needs

System #9 Post-Optin Nurture Series

What is it: Specifically BRIDGES the Lead Magnet ➡️ to the next Offer in the Sales Process
A) Reverse engineer every Lead Magnet so that it’s directly relevant to 1 of your products
B) Create a mini-onboarding series that ties what value they got out of the Lead Magnet to selling the product the LM corresponds to
SO are you missing any of these systems? If you already have them, which can be better? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this in the comments.
If you found this helpful, make sure to add me as a friend on Reddit + join /MarketingNerd so we can keep in touch!
Don't hesitate to reach out if you have any questions :D

I walk past it frequently and didn’t realize until a few months ago that people live in there. I looked online out of curiosity and saw that the units are pretty interesting and neat looking, but it also seems like the kind of place that management gets away with charging a shit ton of rent for just because it’s new and unorthodox. Do/did you like living there?
I don’t even want to live there, I’m just purely curious because I can’t find anyone discussing it LMAO

I will try to stop hating humanity. But I will also do everything that I can to escape from the inhabitants/disease who live in my country. In other words, I will try to be open to the possibility that this world isn't 100% terrible for people like me. The inhabitants of my country are a cancer. But that doesn't mean that the entire human race is a cancer. I will try to be a bit more open-minded in this regard.
I am currently a student of an American uni. But I study online. I will probably finish early next year. Then I will try to move to the US for a Masters program. I will hopefully get a boyfriend and a job when I am there. All I want is a serene mind and a serene life.
I also have a contingency plan. I will kill myself if I am unable to move to the US. That would mean that happiness is not possible when you are different.

In case my memory isn't failing me I wanted to ask if any long term fans here recall Burnies first time with Ashley at a con, When was a frag doll and was doing a thing with ubisofts assassin's creed game where she with several others walked around the con like the monks you hide with in the game. So this caught Burnies eye and walked to the group and said something like "I really like what you're doing here its a really cool thing" and ether...I think it was Ashley or one of the other frag dolls go "You have no IDEA what we're doing!" and Burnie was annoyed by that interaction, a compliment being responded with a shutdown like-- Two people had an opinion about the other on site and this was the result.
Of course this never grew into anything worse. Burnie would eventually give it another go talking with the frag dolls and it went well in the long term. Very much water under the bridge. Good on Burnie for approaching them again.
Let me know if I get anything wrong here.

WHERE CAN I READ IT?

• The official english source is kmanga. For third party sites, you can find them by clicking on see more (if you are on mobile) or on the right sidebar (if you are on desktop).

WHEN DOES IT UPDATE/ WHERE'S THE NEXT CHAPTER?

• The manga updates every tuesday or wednesday depending on your timezone. If the mangaka takes a break, its usually announced on the day of the release. Third party sites usually post it on the day of the update, or a couple days after. Sometimes it takes longer though!

WHY ARE THERE TWO/ WHICH IS WHICH?

• If you spell windbreaker without the space, more often than not you'll get the manwha of the same name even though they are both written the same way. The manga, to which this subreddit is dedicated, is about young delinquents and written by NII SATORU. The manwha is about biking written by YONSEOK JO.

IS THERE A LOVE INTEREST / WILL THERE BE ROMANCE/ ETC

• No. There is no romance involving the protagonist, and Kotoha is not the love interest. We don't know if that will change later on, but there are NO hints towards that outcome, and there has never been any.

IS IT LIKE TOKYO REVENGERS/ IS IT A COPY/ IS IT BETTE ETC

• No, its nothing like Tokyo Revengers, besides the delinquent aspect. The plot is different, as is the main character. Unlike TR, WinBre has no supernatural aspects to it. Besides, Tokyo Revengers did not invent the genre. Calling it better is subjective as they are hardly comparable, the answer depends on what you are looking for and your expectations. WinBre having a more grounded, simpler plot does play in it's favor though.

WHERE ARE THE TEACHERS/ ADULTS/ ETC

• We don't know! The anime seems to address it, and maybe it will expand on it, but the manga is focused on the delinquent life of the characters, not the classes. Adults are everywhere in town, why do they let children handle these things and don't step in? Well, its fiction, don't be too nit-picky, and its not the first time it happens in manga. A huge chunk of Shonen works the same way.

WHEN DOES IT TAKE PLACE?

• If this is in regards to the time period, there is no clear answer, but smartphones are a thing, so take that as you will. If this is in regards to the season, if we are to assume they stick to a typical Japanese school period, the start of the series would be around April, which means that it develops during spring.

WHATS TSUBAKI'SGENDER?

• We are not sure! In the Japanese version, the character uses pronouns and expressions more often associated with females, but the English version still refers to them with he/him or simply by name. There is no canon answer yet.Personally, I encourage the use of any pronouns you see fit! But also, respect people's view of the character.

IS ENDO GAY?

• That depends on your definition. What IS true is he explicitly states being in love with another man. There's no room for misinterpretation there. If that love is just misplaced admiration or obsession, we don't know yet. As of now Endo is in love, the romantic sense of the word, with Takiishi.

IS THERE A POWER SYSTEM?

• No. This series isn't fantasy based, so besides the general delinquent nonsense, there's no power system.

I've been having a quiet but boring day not being able to talk with anyone online nor irl, it's kinda hard to be around people knowing that you have ADHD because of it and not everyone is going to be okay with you interacting with them when you're like me, constantly speaking out silly things or rumbling about Bs that could upset someone else.
idk if there's anyone out there who's got issues dealing with people who can't take it when u talk out loud or in a hush voice but they can still here it sometimes and it'll annoy them, i have family members that get annoyed whenever i talk to myself, trying to speak in a voice that sounds soft but it could come off as loud to them and they'll get irratated by it, same with some people I come across outdoor, on buses or in the streets, but they're crazy in a different way compared to me.
i can't find anyone in my life who shares the same stuff as i do and people who have stories like this but aren't struggling as bad as me, none of them are out there.
just wish someone could lend me a hand and get me out of this feeling.

My cat beautiful calico cat Mocha was 9 years old about to turn 10 in June. She never exhibited any health issues and always was a healthy and happy girl. Within the past week, we noticed she started hiding out of nowhere, then would eat less, drink less, and sleep a lot. She wouldn’t want to move even to go to the litter box. We were concerned and took her to the vet. They checked her out and said she had an upper respiratory infection, basically a cold that should resolve itself in no time with antibiotics which they gave her. 24 hours later and she got worse, not better. She couldn’t even hold herself up and threw up on herself. She was not her usual self at all. My sister took her to the emergency vet, thinking something more serious was going on, but still something that could be healed. Mocha had fluid in her abdomen, and her spleen was enlarged and kidneys inflamed. She was severely anemic and just had so much going on with her. She was in organ failure. I woke up that morning only to be informed that our cuddly baby needed to be put to rest as there was nothing we could do. It was just supposed to be a cold she would get over, yet somehow she was in organ failure at the same time (the vet said the cold was a coincidence and unrelated). She loved treats so much and had a favorite little red bed full of her hair that I will never get rid of. I brought both, and even in her pain and discomfort, she mustered enough energy to move into her bed as soon as she saw that I brought it. She even ate a couple last treats even though she wasn’t eating or drinking anything else. Her condition was so bad that the first vein the doctor tried to insert the IV into was collapsed and he had to use a different one. I held my Mocha baby for the last time as we pet her and talked to her as she fell asleep forever and was relieved of her pain. I couldn’t stop sobbing to the point where I could barely breathe. I don’t know why. The doctors didn’t know why. It happened so suddenly and unexpectedly in a matter of days. She deserved to live at least another 5 years if not more. She was perfectly healthy just a week ago. I’m at least grateful that my baby held out long enough for me to come home from university for the summer before she needed to say goodbye. I can’t help but wonder if it’s somehow my fault. Did she get into something she shouldn’t have? Did we feed her the wrong food? Could we have caught it sooner and done something? Could she have been saved? It all happened so fast and I’ll never understand why her organs shut down out of seemingly nowhere. If anyone has a similar experience feel free to share. I am devastated and heartbroken, but I am glad at least that I am the one left in pain rather than my poor Mocha, who is now at peace. Fly high Mocha, we miss you so much and hope you have all the treats you want, all the water from the tap you want, all the corn husks to chew on, all the spirals and mini paper cups to bat around, all the birds to watch and listen to, and the comfiest beds. Until we meet again baby❤️:(

Hi all, TIA. This is an interesting one for me, as I am sure to learn a lot. I really appreciate your input.
* * * *
TL;DR (okay, this next bit is too long, too): Client has a bad hack (potential/probable RAT and potential/probable deleted files) and an external backup drive also. Total data on PC and external drive: About 300GB minus program files, etc. I advised him to disconnect from the internet and call his $$$ people to let them know and protect his accounts.
->Questions:

• 1) Can I install his external backup drive (2TB WD) on my home machine without immediately infecting it?
  
• 2) Can I scan the files on it without infecting my machine/network?
  
• 3) Can I scan the files on it without deleting them during the quarantine process?
  
• 4) Can I back up the files on his actual PC to my external drive and scan them at my home before restoring them to his PC, without deleting them/infecting me?
  
• 5) Is there any way of definitively determining exactly which infection he really has?
  
• 6) Is there any guarantee I can give him that his files will be returned intact? Or, should I simply escalate to a more-knowledgeable tech?
  

* * * *

I have many years experience using PCs, but only 1 1/2 years experience with more-serious freelance computer support. I have done 3 or 4 hack recoveries. This one is the worst/scariest/most extensive hack I have seen yet.

* * * *
Background:

Said client has had the infection(s) for over two weeks. He had another tech work on it, who evidently did not do the backup/reset/file restore process; I don't know what he or the other tech did, but the infections keep happening.

Examples:
-Chrome has been deleted, and when an install is attempted, a "file infected" "warning" appears --same with Edge;
-Firefox is the only usable browser (and yes, I checked the extensions), but only after Malwarebytes "quarantines" found-infected files. After the quarantine, FF can be run...for a few minutes. Then it stops working, and re-running MWB "finds" more infected files that did not appear the first time.
-Windows Startup Apps reports several gobbledygook names (lfsaxxcd, zqphpupy, etc), at least one of which is a PowerShell script; I don't know if they are legit or not, or simply uninstall remnants; I didn't have enough time to research it on-site.
-Avast immediately reports network problems, such as open ports on the router; and a program called "securesync innovations/securelnk.pif". I googled it and it seems like a RA program; it may come from AnyDesk (I don't remember), which he has on his PC too, but I have no idea where he got AnyDesk or if he has a legit use for it.
-MWB reported on my first run:
--"win32.apanas" which I found out is/was an old/"dead" RAT; --"spyware.remcos" (two infections); --"hijack.exe" file (dll privilege escalation?); --"generic.malware AI DDS" (MWB's AI generic finding)

In my Googling, I found a couple Reddit posts about Apanas saying it was an old/dead RAT; but someone else also said, during my second MWB foray, (see below), that MWB/AV may be deleting legit files that have been reported "infected".
When FF stopped working and gave the "file infected" "warning" when I started it, I re-ran MWB, which "found" three more, different infections. This part was just before I found the "deleting legit files" comment on Reddit.

* * * *
-What I am scared of, is that 1) He has a bad, active RAT; and that 2) more and more of his files are being deleted with each MWB run.
This client is old and half-blind and a technophobe, and as I said had the other tech over at least once in the last two weeks, as well as running MWB God knows how many times, potentially deleting God knows how many files in the process.
-Here is the kicker: He literally has two Excel files, ON HIS DESKTOP, named "Passwords...[date]". His partner dryly said something about, "Yeah, he uses that file all the time, because he hates remembering passwords." If he has an active RAT, he is basically f***ed, right?
-I urged them both to disconnect from the Internet and call every financial company they do anything with online, and to freeze credit reports etc.
-What else can I do? At this point in my experience, should I even attempt to help him, or refer out?
* * * *Thank you all.

Since music can be so helpful to process this, I thought I’d post the lyrics to a metal song I was just listening to because I finally read the lyrics and they reminded me of him (but I imagine most people won’t want to listen to metal), so here are the words to Bloodbath by Dethklok, and let me know which other songs you find helpful:
Why can't I make up my mind Is this your knife in my back Why's this mood swinging around Like an executioner swings its axe
This is a warning You better stay away Just take a tiny step back It's in my DNA
Where am I going I lose control in the streets It's overflowing This transformation complete
This is a warning But get the fuck away We're gonna get darker It's in my DNA
Beware and clear the streets The reaper is released Stare not into their eyes Or the angel of death you'll greet
Like it or not You just got caught in a bloodbath Somebody throw me a party 'Cause it's my debut 'Cause if I'm bathed in blood Then so are you Don't give a fuck about nothing else This is my bloodbath You ain't seen rage You ain't seen wrath Now strap yourself in, motherfucker
I am the cosmos I am torment I bring forth life Witness my ascent
Sit your ass down Because the shark is in town And it's a bloodbath I must share my discomfort with you Now bow to the power or be consumed Fuck the whole world 'cause it's coming unfurled And it's a bloodbath You have no clue The pain is transcending Now fuck up and die My patience is ending Oh, it's a bloodbath
Why do I feel so big Why do I feel so ugly This is my only path It's our bloodbath It's our bloodbath It's our bloodbath

I want to make a post just to share some concerns about the direction of the 40k AdMech, there isn't anything particular i want to obtain with this post aside from some ideas from other people.
So, I just saw the new HH reveals, and I love the new models, those were amazing, and I really liked them... you see, i really love the Cult Mechanicus and Legio Cybernetica part of the army , both game wise and lore wise, I don't dislike the Skitarii part but it just hits differently. Point is , I'm strating to belive that the goal design for the 40k AdMech is to shift to the skitarii part while gradually ignoring all of the other parts of the army. I invested alot of time an money with a cetrain idea of an Mechanicus army in the dark future of the 41st millennium, and I'm afraid that we will gradually shift away from the original appeal of this army. Sure I can proxy, but it wouldn't really be same, would it?
What do you guys think? Am I exaggerating with those concerns?
Edit: I just want to make it clear that I'm really happy for the HH players! we are all follower of the Omnissaiah in the end!

TL;DR Please keep a work journal. Use it to record your small “wins” at work. Use it to build your resume for when you need a raise, a promotion, or a new job.

What do Firefighters Do All Day?

When I was a kid, I loved Richard Scarry picture books. He drew human-like animals who lived in “Busytown” and who worked in typical places: bank, firehouse, bakery, and so on. Richard Scarry explained to young readers what firefighters did all day: they rescued cats from tall trees. When the baker burned a batch of pies, the firefighters came and put out the burning pies. The firefighters had a big truck full of hoses, and they spent a lot of time fussing over the truck, too.
https://preview.redd.it/fpn6eflbl81d1.jpg?width=700&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f51b4cafb6766ad0b1a2baea4ec7357f9d58a85e
Children are not born knowing what a banker does, what a baker does, what a firefighter does. It’s both useful and lovely to explain basic job functions to children so they can understand how their town functions.
A lot of people, including job seekers on this subreddit, seem to think resumes are Richard Scarry books. People spend their resumes explaining what a baker does all day:

• rolled out dough for pies and bagels each morning
• sold doughnuts and muffins to customers; returned correct change
• turned off ovens and swept kitchen clean every night

WHAT? That’s only a resume if you were terrible at your job. I’m serious; if I saw those three bullet points on a baker’s resume, I would assume the baker in question had just been fired.

The Point of Resume Bullet Points

Imagine you’ve been a professional baker for two years. You’ve applied for a new job. You’ve made it through the dumb website questionnaires, the redundant forms. You made it past the algorithm or the robot that rejects half the applicants right away. You’ve got your resume in front of me, the person who can decide to interview you, the person who can decide to hire you.
And you’re using this time to tell me what a baker does?
Your resume is not a place to educate children about your core job functions. Your resume is a place to persuade a manager that you are good at your job! If I’m hiring a baker, chances are good-to-excellent that I already know what a baker does all day. I want to know if you are a good baker!

• reduced morning biscuit prep time by switching to corn oil; saved 18 minutes per day
• caramel doughnut recipe won 2nd place in Busytown’s Bake-Off 2021
• increased earnings 8% by moving tip jar to front of counter

Those are accomplishments. They show that you were good at your job. They show that you make improvements. They show that you measure things: How long was it taking you to make biscuits before? What did you change? How long did it take you to make biscuits after that change? Was the change your idea, or something your boss told you to try?
Now, maybe the tip jar example bothers you. Maybe that’s not about being a good baker, it’s more about being a greedy, self-interested employee. Guess what? As a hiring manager, I don’t care! I’m so impressed that you made a change and measured the impact of that change that I give you full points for that tip jar bullet point. Even if my bakery doesn’t use tip jars. Even if I’m hiring for a pastry chef position at a hotel, a role that doesn’t get tipped income. It’s the drive to measure, the habit of making small improvements at work, that’s what impresses me.

Lost Progress: My Doughnut Years

I worked at a doughnut shop right after college, years ago. It was not a happy time for me; I had a fancy degree, so I had expected to be doing more interesting things with my life than frosting doughnuts and pouring coffee for customers. But I’m a driven person. I improve things everywhere I go. I remember I impressed my boss one day when I came in with colorful printed signs I had made on my home ink-jet printer: “Chocolate Sprinkles,” “Raspberry Jelly,” “Lemon Creme.” We had been using hand-printed signs, Sharpie on cardboard, and these were a big improvement.
Our regular customers noticed the signs. I probably bragged about them or fished for compliments. That’s something 22-year-old me would have done. For sure the shop owner liked them. I remember the glossy paper I used made them easier to wipe clean, so we didn’t have to re-write the labels every few days.
I didn’t write any of this down in a journal. It all happened years ago; I barely remember it. But I should have been keeping a journal. If I had, then my resume would have featured bullet points such as:

• simplified regular ordering process by creating new signs …or
• standardized inventory display with colorful, uniform signage …or
• took initiative to re-do store signage; received 23 compliments from regular customers …or
• “Did you make those signs? They look amazing!” -Actual customer, responding to the labels I created on my home printer for the doughnut display area

Maybe some of those bullet points hit harder than others; I was young and it was a dumb job. But see how those bullet points say much more about what kind of baker I am than
“• rolled out dough for pies and bagels each morning” ?

How, When, and What to Journal at Work

If you have an amazing memory for tiny details, then maybe you don’t need to keep a journal. But most people should. Every month, or at least every quarter, sit down for twenty minutes and write down something that demonstrates you are good, skilled, dedicated, resourceful, whatever:

1. “Neela Roberts, a regular client, said last month ‘Dave, whenever you process my invoice, I know it’s going to be correct, I don’t even have to check!’ That made me feel good.”
2. “I caught a pricing typo on the quote sheet Business Development was preparing to send over to Acme Industrials. Maybe someone else would have caught it, but wow those Acme people are pushy about little details like that; I probably saved us $500, who knows?”
3. “I’m glad I persuaded Marla to upgrade the A/V system in the conference room. We always used to have clients ask us ‘what? say that again?’ in our conference calls. Since we installed the new mics and speakers, I can’t remember that happening.”
4. “Chris over in Receiving bought me a beer after work today, said he wanted to thank me for recommending Dale for the new loader position. Glad to hear Dale is working out so well over there.”

It's easy, in the glow of a big win at work, to think "I'll always remember this accomplishment. I'll always remember how I helped the team, the way this project came together, the nice things the boss said about our hard work. This is a memory I'll treasure."
And then Monday rolls around, and you're back to rolling out dough for the morning bagels. Unless you are a professional athlete, most days at work are not wins. Most days at work are not noteworthy. And the ho-hum of the every day can overwhelm your big and small accomplishments unless you make time to write them down regularly.

Why to Journal at Work

Even if you love your job, even if you are 10 years into a 20-year role with a guaranteed pension, a place you never intend to leave, you should still be doing this.
First, I don’t believe any job is guaranteed in this life.
Second, a list of improvements and accomplishments will help you get promotions and raises at your current job. Think of how much you’ll have to say at your annual review when you’ve been taking monthly notes on your significant contributions! It will help you defend yourself if you ever face cutbacks at work due to downturns and budget problems.
Third, journaling and measuring will make you a better worker! My whole mentality at work changed when i started measuring stuff. “Hey, I think we should reorganize the mailing room, because I think the workflow in there is just nuts. But you know what? Let’s note down how many packages we ship out each morning for the next three mornings, just to get a baseline. Then, when we make the changes I have in mind, we can see if things actually improve. Three more days with the old system won’t kill us, and it will let me measure my impact.”
Your work journal needs to be in a paper book or in a computer file you will retain access to even if you change jobs. We’ve all heard horror stories about layoffs at Zenith Techno where workers got an automated email at 5AM and lost all access to company files. Your work journal needs to be your property. Your career is more important than any one job!
If you work for the CIA or for a urologist, you might need to take some basic care to respect the privacy of clients and your employer. Maybe use fake names of patients. Don't put the secret recipe to your boss's famous caramel doughnuts on a server where doughnut hackers can get to it. But keep a journal! Do it!
Otherwise, this is all you’ve got to say for yourself at the end of the day:
“• turned off ovens and swept kitchen clean every night”

Hi! I'm a player from a city in Brazil and everyone needs to know what is happening here.
I need to tell everyone whats happened here in the year since. I'm asking for help, this is a nightmare and has become much worse. And Niantic caused this directly in my city because of poor management. I love the game, play since day one and will never stop playing. But something needs to be done. Please refer for this post bellow for context
thttps://www.reddit.com/TheSilphRoad/comments/14wvk53/my\_city\_has\_turned\_into\_a\_war\_for\_pokemon/
As you see, there were two communities trying to enter the official "Niantic ambassador" Project. Both entered. The app guys were way more succesfull, playing on the Main City Square. Things worked fine for like 6 months. There was competition between the two communities, but the "app guys" eventually had events 10 times bigger than the other guys, some of the biggest in the country. That's the project, it's competition. And ours was a champion in the making!
The leaders of the app guys eventually entered a collision route with the project management. They independetly audited the rankings of the ambassador program in Brazil and there was some clear evidence of fraud to benefit certain cities. They quited the project in protest, but kept the community going. That should've been the end of it. Campinas still had the pvp guys on the Park playing in the project, everything was fine. But the public on the City Square was too big to pass. They got tempted. They needed the numbers...
They found an ambitious girl from the app guys management and elected her a "pseudo ambassador", forcing the pvp guys to accept her as a co-leader. Only so they could keep the City Square on the Project. But the original app guys were still there! On the same place! This new force, lead by the ambitious girl. did everything to make us stop going to the city square. Hostility, demoralization, inciting revolt. She said they were the official community now, not ours. She was the leader. Police was involved one day when they tried to run us away from the Enamorus event with lots of screaming. We sent the police report to Niantic asking for the community to be removed. The Niantic official sent me a message telling to "go play somewhere else".
Yes, I have a message right now in my phone from the leader of Niantic Brasil telling me and my friends that I should not play where I like! To not bother his "Ambassador" that tried to run us away from the square. How Insane is this? He also said that from them on, he would ignore me and everyone associated with the original "app guys".
What about the pvp guys? She took them down in three months! There are no more pvp guys, only us "the app guys" and the new group with the girl. She is called "Campinas empress" by some of her loyal followers. I dont know if it is ironic or not. Maybe not...
But now everyone plays in the same place! Every event is a war. Both sides trying to recruit people and screaming at each other constantly. The original app guys still trying to keep organizing their events and the new ambassador and a couple loyal followers trying to bring the people to the "campfire way". Every single new player that comes to the event and hears from both sides, don't return. And so, both sides are tearing everything apart to defend their ways.
There are no other good places to play on Campinas. The city park was torn apart when the "empress" removed the pvp guys and took control. There is nothing game related there anymore, so it isn't an option. The original community is much bigger than the new one that Niantic imposed on the city, so the app guys also don't plan on abandoning their public.
We are at war on my city. Again. A much worse war caused by direct and erroneus influence of Niantic. It should have ended when we quitted the project six months ago. It got a lot worse.
This will only stop when Campinas is completely removed from the project or at least when a neutral leader is put in place. The app guys consider the "empress" a betrayer, so there is no possibility of peace with her in control. Even then, most people like each other, we still can be a united community one day. There is hope.
Everyone needs to know what is being done here. If nothing is done to stop this, things will only get worse.

As someone who is generally more on the anxious side of things, I’ve had a lot of past relationships where when we break up it is really easy for the other person to stop talking entirely and it just doesn’t make sense to me. I know that everyone is different and I’ve had a relationship that overwhelmed me, so some quiet is welcome at the end. But still after some time I still want to know how they are doing. Once I’ve loved someone, I always will. and I always want updates on how they are doing. It is so hard for me to go from talking all the time to never again. I just don’t understand how you can completely stop talking to someone so easily? I know that it is easier to move on if you don’t speak, but is it will power that I am lacking or? Or even in relationships to go entire days or most of the day without speaking to your partner? It just feels at some point that the person doing that isn’t very interested or invested. I just don’t know what I’m missing and I can’t help but feel hurt when the people I love don’t want to put in effort or initiate conversations. I’d like to hear the other perspectives on this so I can understand it better. I assume this is maybe on the avoidant side of things, but idk I’m willing to hear any other perspective. I just want to be able to empathize better and not take it so personal.

Broadcasting yourself as someone interesting who stands apart from the crowd of neckbeards on Reddit while not coming off as an arrogant tool is a difficult task. I'm not sure if I'm particularly excelling at it with this post, but I'm going to give it a try.
I'm looking for new people to talk to, to have genuine interesting conversation with, to talk games and movies, to trade dog pictures, or just flirt the night away. If you can do all of these, I might just fall in love.
I'm nerdy, flirty, and more than a bit wordy. When I'm not out with my dog exploring nature, I'm probably going on long drives with good music to find a new spot or restaurant. Or maybe I'm at home with a book, a game, a movie marathon.
I work in an Alzheimer's ward so it's basically a rule that you have to be nice to me and keep me company on these long shifts of dementia.
Message me. I'm reasonably sure you won't regret it.

In a post on another subreddit, I argued that norms governing sexuality, and social taboos placed on both men and women have same bases all over the world, and that western society ultimately values women for their physical beauty and holes, just like elsewhere.
Some people were struggling to get my point. So, I’ll explain it by comparing sexual norms to dietary restrictions and traditions. One person argued how it’s in human nature that such norms arise and culture shapes itself in a way that benefits the society. I will debunk these ludicrous arguments.
What is normal to eat? Try slaughtering a cow in India, and people will slaughter you.
But seriously, the answer depends on your geographical location.
Do you believe that consuming pork is right? If answer is yes then Amazing. Cool. Great.
But nearly 2 billion muslims, another 1 billion Hindus, Sikhs, Jains, as well as conservative Jews not just disagree with you, but they also believe it’s immoral of you to consume pork.
Muslims and Jews are themselves meat consumers, but they have made a list of animals that are justified to kill and consume. Pork isn’t part of that list.
Westerners have also made a list, and eating cats or dogs isn’t part of it, but people in china and east asia consume dog and cat meat, something westerners find extremely hard to tolerate, and almost puke at the thought of it.
Hindus is India have literally publicly lynched Muslims for killing cows, and Jains of India are that strict about veganism and opposed to cruelty against animals, that they don’t even kill ants.
You also have vegans among you who believe that killing animals is immoral. There are meat consumers who recognise that consuming meat is immoral but they can’t give up on it, because they grew up in a culture where it was normal.
I was born in a muslim country, and still find myself reluctant to consume pork, given my socialisation.
It applies to norms governing sexuality as well. Premarital sex and cohabitation can cost you life or social ostracisation in a good number of places. It stretches to homosexuality as well. Try being an openly homosexual person in Russia or even worse Afghanistan. It was literally considered a mental illness just 50 years ago in the United States.
Now, is consuming meat part of human nature?
Biologically humans are animals. We are classified as mammals. In sociology, humans are characterised as social animals. Humans are omnivores, in that they are capable of eating both plants and animals, so it’s very well part of our nature. But what is natural can’t always be moral. There is a thing called naturalistic fallacy, where you think what is natural is also moral.
If Hindus start consuming cows, and muslims start eating pork, what it would change about their society? If these societies accept premarital sex, and homosexuality, what it will change about them? In what ways does disallowing people from consuming cows, engaging in premarital sex, and being homosexual harms Hindu society?
These norms are not benefiting their societies. There’s no rationality behind them in 21st century, yet they cling on to them. Similarly, you westerners are doing the same thing. Whatever is the norm in your society is also arbitrary and subjective. Who knows what would be the moral state of world in next 100 years? What’s unimaginable right now, just like gay marriage was once an unimaginable nightmare for conservative westerners. Our ancestors never thought that one day we will question rigid gender roles, but here we are.

.. was told from other BPD's to refrain from these kinds of groups but this is honestly putting so much in perspective for me . ive learned so much from hearing you all experiences of pure abuse than sitting across from therapist over the years . the amount of compassion i can STILL feel for us even when you're "bashing" is insane . to know that we are capable of being loved this much is fuel for me to want to get better . i am cripiling aware of my manipulative , destructive, and victimizing ways . to the point i would seek out narcs bc it seems only they can "trigger me in the perfect way" and i know they'll never get tired of the "game" ( as a bpd i always win anyways, i got patience) however being in this kind of setting is helping me realize theres so many people that never wanted to play the game . that just wanted to love me . that i didn't have to sacrifice my sanity or theirs just to get them to love me. its like a "huh" moment . i used to b a serial monogamist . moving my ways through plenty of men and women . for a while i had myself convinced i just wanted love and people just wanted to do me wrong. but it isnt that . i got smarter about my supply , and who my victims were . i couldnt make reg codependents the bad guy bc they werent . and i use this language bc i cant downplay it . thats what it was . i thought if i can break this narc he can love me forever. ill have his heart, and soul . a regular codependent will eventually leave you, but narcs wont . theyll keep coming back for more. you just have to wait until the narc fucks up to start the game, and they will fuck up , theyre narcs. thats when the splitting, victimhood, devalueing starts, anything you do wrong is now just payback, and narcs spends forever trying to get back the "pure" bpd love they think they didnt deserve . they became addicted to the docile, doormat, submissive, lover, nympho persona you create. nobody else does desperate like the BPD . but thats when you discard and find a new supply . now unconsciously this is what alot of your PWBPD are doing, and dont realize. we convince ourselves we're ride or die, or we're loyal, we love hard, etc . my last situation made me realize i had been playing a dangerous game when the fuck up was now physical abuse. and i spent mornings cleaning my blood off the floors . in the end, he got what he deserved . but its besides the point . i caught myself in full bpd delulu when i realized i had convinced myself im KARMA FOR NARCS, and i should write a book. yeaa i kno. this is awful . but this group has honestly put together alot of pieces for me . i need tonot date , for years , actually, and focus on remission . only way i can ever get better . im 21. if i keep going like this i will absolutely kill myself . soo NEVER STOP THIS GROUP. please , its a long road from recovery