I have searched all over YouTube and much of the rest of the Internet and I have yet to find a single good cover of any Beastie Boys song. There are some that are all right but most are subpar at best. Does anybody know of an actual good cover?

About 9 months ago my best friend and soul mate died and I've been lost without her. We'd make up silly and stupid songs almost every night (most of them extremely inappropriate, which made them hilarious and perfect), we talked about food, life, relationships, music, art, causes, and so much more. We were weird together, laughed together, cried together, created together and got into plenty of trouble together. I will never be able to replace her but I know we weren't the only intelligent, perverted, creative weirdos out there and I hope to make like-minded friends who can get me laughing uncontrollably again, singing stupid songs again, etc.
Where to begin!!! I'm 32, bald, from Ohio and I'm a girl dad. I have nothing but daughters (I think I did something in a past life that I'm being punished for. Lol, just kidding, they're amazing)
I'm a news reporter and I own several small businesses.
I have a large and amazing family, the ride or die kind who would give strangers the shirts off their backs. Extremely lucky to have been born into that unit. We swear like the words were just invented and unapologetically so 😉
I'm passionate about things that stimulate the senses. So food, music, art, etc. I'm a very good cook and can talk about food for hours. I'm the same with music. I enjoy music in literally EVERY genre with the exception of scream-o/death metal.
I love actual phone chats, especially when I'm driving to and from news stories... I miss my driving buddy 😞
I LOVE COMEDY... I can make a joke about anything, usually at appropriate times, occasionally at inappropriate times (but honestly, is there ever really an inappropriate time to make someone laugh?)
I need people in my life that can help me escape the norm. I love my work and my kids but I need adult friends that compliment my set of oddities and passions 😀
Other Fun Facts about me:
I studied behavioral sciences back in school and it's literally helped me in every aspect of my life
I'm good with accents (because I'm a goof)
I can be insanely articulate or talk like a pissed off sailor.
I live a lifestyle that has the Potterverse woven into nearly every aspect, but I'm not annoying about it.
I quote lines from movies (mostly comedies) and random YouTube videos often, it's a part of who I am lol
I prefer dogs to cats but currently have a cat (who I'm allergic to, but he adopted us 11 years ago and is the sweetest cat in the world)
I'm not a Trump supporter but think he'll probably be reelected unfortunately (because the only thing Biden has going for him is his lack of being Trump, and while that's enough for me, I don't think it'll be enough for everyone)
Lastly, I am insanely passionate about those I love and I care a lot about people in general.
There's so much more but I'll save that for our chats...plus I wanna know about YOU.
If I sound like I'd be an interesting addition to your life, feel free to message me and tell me all about YOU and why you think we should be best friends forever lol
Bonus: I visit NYC a few times a year as an escape and if you live in NYC and we become beasties, we are DEFINITELY going to have to hang out!

About 9 months ago my best friend and soul mate died and I've been lost without her. We'd make up silly and stupid songs almost every night (most of them extremely inappropriate, which made them hilarious and perfect), we talked about food, life, relationships, music, art, causes, and so much more. We were weird together, laughed together, cried together, created together and got into plenty of trouble together. I will never be able to replace her but I know we weren't the only intelligent, perverted, creative weirdos out there and I hope to make like-minded friends who can get me laughing uncontrollably again, singing stupid songs again, etc.
Where to begin!!! I'm 32, bald, from Ohio and I'm a girl dad. I have nothing but daughters (I think I did something in a past life that I'm being punished for. Lol, just kidding, they're amazing)
I'm a news reporter and I own several small businesses.
I have a large and amazing family, the ride or die kind who would give strangers the shirts off their backs. Extremely lucky to have been born into that unit. We swear like the words were just invented and unapologetically so 😉
I'm passionate about things that stimulate the senses. So food, music, art, etc. I'm a very good cook and can talk about food for hours. I'm the same with music. I enjoy music in literally EVERY genre with the exception of scream-o/death metal.
I love actual phone chats, especially when I'm driving to and from news stories... I miss my driving buddy 😞
I LOVE COMEDY... I can make a joke about anything, usually at appropriate times, occasionally at inappropriate times (but honestly, is there ever really an inappropriate time to make someone laugh?)
I need people in my life that can help me escape the norm. I love my work and my kids but I need adult friends that compliment my set of oddities and passions 😀
Other Fun Facts about me:
I studied behavioral sciences back in school and it's literally helped me in every aspect of my life
I'm good with accents (because I'm a goof)
I can be insanely articulate or talk like a pissed off sailor.
I live a lifestyle that has the Potterverse woven into nearly every aspect, but I'm not annoying about it.
I quote lines from movies (mostly comedies) and random YouTube videos often, it's a part of who I am lol
I prefer dogs to cats but currently have a cat (who I'm allergic to, but he adopted us 11 years ago and is the sweetest cat in the world)
I'm not a Trump supporter but think he'll probably be reelected unfortunately (because the only thing Biden has going for him is his lack of being Trump, and while that's enough for me, I don't think it'll be enough for everyone)
Lastly, I am insanely passionate about those I love and I care a lot about people in general.
There's so much more but I'll save that for our chats...plus I wanna know about YOU.
If I sound like I'd be an interesting addition to your life, feel free to message me and tell me all about YOU and why you think we should be best friends forever lol
Bonus: I visit NYC a few times a year as an escape and if you live in NYC and we become beasties, we are DEFINITELY going to have to hang out!

I have very few friends I talk to on a regular basis and I'd like to change that. I'm very fun (am I likely to say otherwise though?), I'm bald, and a girl dad. Seriously, I have so much estrogen in my life I've started to grow boobz lol!
I'm into music (literally all genres except death metal, although my go-to playlists typically consist of oldies...like 90s and before).
I'm pretty damn good in the kitchen, I like learning new things and exploring new experiences. I love a handful of period dramas and enjoy a good awards show, but I'm awful when it comes to sports, I know nothing lol! I'm also not a big video gamer... never have been, idk why.
I LOVE COMEDY... I can make a joke about anything, usually at appropriate times, occasionally at inappropriate times (but honestly, is there ever really an inappropriate time to make someone laugh?)
I live in Cleveland, Ohio but I visit NYC OFTEN and really want some friends there. I work in journalism (I'm a news reporter) and I have been a small business owner for over half my life. I've worked in music, film, and the legal industry.
About 9 months ago my best friend and soul mate died and I've been lost without her. We'd make up silly and stupid songs almost every night (most of them extremely inappropriate, which made them hilarious and perfect), we talked about food, life, relationships, music, art, causes, and so much more. We were weird together, laughed together, cried together, created together and got into plenty of trouble together. I will never be able to replace her but I know we weren't the only intelligent, perverted, creative weirdos out there and I hope to make like-minded friends who can get me laughing uncontrollably again, singing stupid songs again, etc.
I need people in my life that can help me escape the norm. I love my work and my kids but I need adult friends that compliment my set of oddities and passions 😀
Odd and Fun Facts about me:
I have advanced driving certifications from the FBI (three of them)
I studied behavioral sciences back in school and it's literally helped me in every aspect of my life
I met John Legend twice, and one of those times was at a urinal.
I once held a record in the music industry but haven't been much in the business in 13 years.
I'm good with accents, can be insanely articulate or talk like a pissed off sailor.
I live a lifestyle that has the Potterverse woven into nearly every aspect, but I'm not annoying about it.
I quote lines from movies (mostly comedies) and random YouTube videos often, it's a part of who I am lol
I prefer dogs to cats but currently have a cat (who I'm allergic to, but he adopted us 11 years ago and is the sweetest cat in the world)
I'm not a Trump supporter but think he'll probably be reelected unfortunately (because the only thing Biden has going for him is his lack of being Trump, and while that's enough for me, I don't think it'll be enough for everyone)
I have a large and amazing family, the ride or die kind who would give strangers the shirts off their backs. Extremely lucky to have been born into that unit.
I love actual phone chats, especially when I'm driving to and from news stories... I miss my driving buddy 😞
Lastly, I am insanely passionate about those I love and I care a lot about people in general.
There's so much more but I'll save that for our chats...plus I wanna know about YOU.
If I sound like I'd be an interesting addition to your life, feel free to message me and tell me all about YOU and why you think we should be best friends forever lol
Bonus: I visit NYC a few times a year as an escape, so if you live in NYC and we become beasties, we are DEFINITELY going to have to hang out!

I have very few friends I talk to on a regular basis and I'd like to change that. I'm very fun (am I likely to say otherwise though?), I'm bald, and a girl dad. Seriously, I have so much estrogen in my life I've started to grow boobz lol!
I'm into music (literally all genres except death metal, although my go-to playlists typically consist of oldies...like 90s and before).
I'm pretty damn good in the kitchen, I like learning new things and exploring new experiences. I love a handful of period dramas and enjoy a good awards show, but I'm awful when it comes to sports, I know nothing lol! I'm also not a big video gamer... never have been, idk why.
I LOVE COMEDY... I can make a joke about anything, usually at appropriate times, occasionally at inappropriate times (but honestly, is there ever really an inappropriate time to make someone laugh?)
I live in Cleveland, Ohio, work in journalism but have been a small business owner for over half my life. I've worked in music, film, and the legal industry.
About 9 months ago my best friend and soul mate died and I've been lost without her. We'd make up silly and stupid songs almost every night (most of them extremely inappropriate, which made them hilarious and perfect), we talked about food, life, relationships, music, art, causes, and so much more. We were weird together, laughed together, cried together, created together and got into plenty of trouble together. I will never be able to replace her but I know we weren't the only intelligent, perverted, creative weirdos out there and I hope to make like-minded friends who can get me laughing uncontrollably again, singing stupid songs again, etc.
I need people in my life that can help me escape the norm. I love my work and my kids but I need adult friends that compliment my set of oddities and passions 😀
Odd and Fun Facts about me:
I have advanced driving certifications from the FBI (three of them)
I studied behavioral sciences back in school and it's literally helped me in every aspect of my life
I met John Legend twice, and one of those times was at a urinal.
I once held a record in the music industry but haven't been much in the business in 13 years.
I'm good with accents, can be insanely articulate or talk like a pissed off sailor.
I live a lifestyle that has the Potterverse woven into nearly every aspect, but I'm not annoying about it.
I quote lines from movies (mostly comedies) and random YouTube videos often, it's a part of who I am lol
I prefer dogs to cats but currently have a cat (who I'm allergic to, but he adopted us 11 years ago and is the sweetest cat in the world)
I'm not a Trump supporter but think he'll probably be reelected unfortunately (because the only thing Biden has going for him is his lack of being Trump, and while that's enough for me, I don't think it'll be enough for everyone)
I have a large and amazing family, the ride or die kind who would give strangers the shirts off their backs. Extremely lucky to have been born into that unit.
I love actual phone chats, especially when I'm driving to and from news stories... I miss my driving buddy 😞
Lastly, I am insanely passionate about those I love and I care a lot about people in general.
There's so much more but I'll save that for our chats...plus I wanna know about YOU.
If I sound like I'd be an interesting addition to your life, feel free to message me and tell me all about YOU and why you think we should be best friends forever lol
Bonus: I visit NYC a few times a year as an escape and if you live in NYC and we become beasties, we are DEFINITELY going to have to hang out!

I have very few friends I talk to on a regular basis and I'd like to change that. I'm very fun (am I likely to say otherwise though?), I'm bald, and a girl dad. Seriously, I have so much estrogen in my life I've started to grow boobz lol!
I'm into music (literally all genres except death metal, although my go-to playlists typically consist of oldies...like 90s and before).
I'm pretty damn good in the kitchen, I like learning new things and exploring new experiences. I love a handful of period dramas and enjoy a good awards show, but I'm awful when it comes to sports, I know nothing lol! I'm also not a big video gamer... never have been, idk why.
I LOVE COMEDY... I can make a joke about anything, usually at appropriate times, occasionally at inappropriate times (but honestly, is there ever really an inappropriate time to make someone laugh?)
I live in Cleveland, Ohio, work in journalism but have been a small business owner for over half my life. I've worked in music, film, and the legal industry.
About 9 months ago my best friend and soul mate died and I've been lost without her. We'd make up silly and stupid songs almost every night (most of them extremely inappropriate, which made them hilarious and perfect), we talked about food, life, relationships, music, art, causes, and so much more. We were weird together, laughed together, cried together, created together and got into plenty of trouble together. I will never be able to replace her but I know we weren't the only intelligent, perverted, creative weirdos out there and I hope to make like-minded friends who can get me laughing uncontrollably again, singing stupid songs again, etc.
I need people in my life that can help me escape the norm. I love my work and my kids but I need adult friends that compliment my set of oddities and passions 😀
Odd and Fun Facts about me:
I have advanced driving certifications from the FBI (three of them)
I studied behavioral sciences back in school and it's literally helped me in every aspect of my life
I met John Legend twice, and one of those times was at a urinal.
I once held a record in the music industry but haven't been much in the business in 13 years.
I'm good with accents, can be insanely articulate or talk like a pissed off sailor.
I live a lifestyle that has the Potterverse woven into nearly every aspect, but I'm not annoying about it.
I quote lines from movies (mostly comedies) and random YouTube videos often, it's a part of who I am lol
I prefer dogs to cats but currently have a cat (who I'm allergic to, but he adopted us 11 years ago and is the sweetest cat in the world)
I'm not a Trump supporter but think he'll probably be reelected unfortunately (because the only thing Biden has going for him is his lack of being Trump, and while that's enough for me, I don't think it'll be enough for everyone)
I have a large and amazing family, the ride or die kind who would give strangers the shirts off their backs. Extremely lucky to have been born into that unit.
I love actual phone chats, especially when I'm driving to and from news stories... I miss my driving buddy 😞
Lastly, I am insanely passionate about those I love and I care a lot about people in general.
There's so much more but I'll save that for our chats...plus I wanna know about YOU.
If I sound like I'd be an interesting addition to your life, feel free to message me and tell me all about YOU and why you think we should be best friends forever lol
Bonus: I visit NYC a few times a year as an escape and if you live in NYC and we become beasties, we are DEFINITELY going to have to hang out!

Howdy yall! The bestiary for Open Legend RPG is fully funded, but it is not over! 5$ can help bring in more tokens for you all to use in your games. 15$ gets you access to a one shot in Open Legend that will be ready to use in Foundry VTT and a PDF for those who do use other VTT or play in person.
There is still a couple of 30$ tier where you get to have your monster published with in this project!
Here is a video to check it out! YouTube Link to Binder of Beasties!
Thank you guys for the love and support you have shown so far! I look forward to gaming with you all!
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/avenuestudios/binder-of-beasties

Think about it. In 1v1, you have to micro 5 million different unit types. Pulling back low hp melee units, microing control groups of archers and springalds so they don't overkill, setting formation to dodge mangonel shots, baiting spearmen with cav/ moving spears forward/back to block knights and doge archer fire, raiding the enemy at the same time, etc.
Additionally, 1v1 meta is already a solved meta, lots of the same build orders over and over. Get 300 APM, follow meta build order, congrats you're conqueror. 1v1 Caster Youtubers are running out of clickbait titles for the same repetitive 1v1 games.
In team games, you generally need less unique unit types as your teammates can take priorities. One person goes knights, the other goes archers, etc. This reduces the APM burden. Additionally, there is a lot more unique strategies in team games, and lots of communication is required. This makes team games the true test of skill and the most interesting to watch.
There are only 256 unique 1v1 matchup combinations, talk about lame. You can just find a video on YouTube with the same matchup, copy what the pro does, and bam you win. Good luck doing that in team games. In team games there are exponentially more the more players you introduce. There are more unique 4v4 matchups than there are atoms in the Universe. Let that sink in.
Rather than wasting my time watching some "pro" streamer play 1v1s repeating the same lame build, I'll be TUNING INTO THE DEBILS 2v2 CUP QUALIFIERS THIS SATURDAY AND SUNDAY AT 12 PM EASTERN TIME (6 PM CET, 4 PM UTC) TO WATCH PRO TEAMS DUKE IT OUT HEAD-TO-HEAD AGAINST TEAM GAME ENJOYERS IN THE ULTIMATE 2v2 SUPERSLAM.
https://preview.redd.it/1qoiroar2otc1.png?width=4800&format=png&auto=webp&s=31c1ad66e15933e4cb99e22bd560a560b700e816
Yes, you heard it right. The DEBILS 2v2 Cup Qualifiers are taking place this Saturday and Sunday (April 13th and 14th) at 12 PM Eastern Time (6 PM CET, 5 PM UTC). The games will be hosted on TenFourTim's Twitch Channel and will be co-casted by Tim and DrDabston. Observer Cow will be doing the production, so you know it's going to be amazing!
The following weekend, April 20th and 21st, you can catch the main event at the same time on the same channel. Don't miss this amazing 2v2 event!
Event Details Where/When: twitch.tv/tenfourtim April 13th, 14th, 20th, and 21st at 12 PM EST / 6 PM CET / 4 PM UTC.
Brackets: https://www.start.gg/tournament/debils-2v2-cup/event/debils-2v2-cup/brackets?filter=%7B%22phaseId%22%3A1565680%2C%22perPage%22%3A4%7D
Prize Pool: $360 and growing. Contribute here!
Admins: HousedHorse and Jiglyturd.
Participants: Some of your favourite pros, including Beasty, Bee, Loue, Wam, and Puppypaw, and many others! Also some of the most passionate members of the team gaming community.

My name is Myriad. I am a rising top player, streamer, and coach, living in the UK. Some of you may know me from various tournaments, my streams and other streams, as well as some of my games being casted on YouTube by the likes of Aussie Drongo, KillerPigeon, Farm Man Official, etc. and more recently co-casting the 2nd day of Energy's Slapfest 2 hosted by Matiz, alongside KillerPigeon. I'm currently ranked 37th of active players by Tournament ELO, and ranked 19th on the AoE4 World 1v1 Ranked Leaderboard. I'm mostly known for having started the game in Gold league back in Season 1, then Platinum in Season 2, before starting to play seriously in Season 3, which is when I first reached Conqueror, up to where we are today, so I know what it means to climb from the bottom to the top. (Also known for being the the ticket to some people's Beasty number kek).
I'm making this post to announce that as a celebration for me reaching 2000 ranked points for the first time yesterday on stream, which has been my goal since last season, I will be doing an extended length stream this Friday the 12th of April, in order to give back something to this wonderful community of AoE4 that I feel grateful to be a part of. During this stream, anyone who subscribes from the moment this post goes up, as well as of course on the day of the stream itself, will be entitled to receive 1 full, detailed replay review of a game of their choice that they have played, any rank at all, as well as a written notes page of the main points of advice I'd give for improvement from that replay. This will be specifically catered to each subscriber and their rank so that it offers the most benefit for them to improve, get better, and reach a new rank they've never reached before. On top of this, the subscriber in question can also ask for me to play 1 game of any civilization they choose, perhaps the one they played in the replay for instance, to see it being played at the top level.
The stream will likely be quite long in length, and in the event that there's more people who need to receive the review and everything else, I will of course do all the rest of them when I next stream, no one will get left out! Normally the cheapest I've seen a coaching session go for from my fellow players is in the range of 25 dollars an hour, which is also what I normally charge. However, for this limited time, for the mere price of a Twitch subscription (Prime subscriptions included), you will receive what is akin to almost a full coaching session! To recap all the rules and what subscribers will be entitled to, every person who subscribes from the moment this post goes up, to the moment just before my stream ends on Friday will receive:

1. A full, detailed replay review of a game of their choice, with advice specifically catered to their respective rank to best achieve improvement and results.
2. A written notes page outlining a summary of the main important points of advice for that replay and the player in question.
3. A game played by me with any civilization the player chooses on the top ranked ladder.

Important side note is that anyone who doesn't feel comfortable having their game reviewed publicly on stream, or just prefers doing this off stream, just shoot me a message and we will do it off stream at another time, no problem at all.
I do not have emotes or channel points properly set up on my stream yet, due to working outside of AoE4 and leading a somewhat busy life, as well as not having streamed for the longest time yet, so this is my way of giving back to the community I've come to love and that has supported me on my journey so far. All the aforementioned like emotes and everything else are work in progress and will also come in time, along with an expansion unto YouTube, I promise!
All of the action will be taking place here: https://www.twitch.tv/myriad7 at 13:00 GMT, 12th of April 2024 for a minimum of 6 hours, most likely more.
Other relevant links can be found below:

• AoE4 World profile: https://aoe4world.com/players/769187
• Liquidpedia: https://liquipedia.net/ageofempires/Myriad

Apologies for the long post, but thank you to everyone who took the time to read and is interested. I look forward to seeing you all this Friday! Good luck out there!
EDIT: As a commenter pointed out, this offer is also extended to previous subscribers, which I forgot to mention. Some of them I have contacted informing of this, yet I don't have the contact information for all of them.

Edit: Several people have mentioned AoE4 Guides. That's the site I first encountered when searching for guides, and the one that made me realize Beasty in AoE4 is the same Beasty from SC2. That's how I found his YouTube channel in the first place.
However, those guides are very, very barebones compared to what I'm used to. We used to have whole articles dedicated to a single build order, with sections detailing various contingencies.
When I first started playing RTS games, YouTube didn't exist yet. Heck, Facebook didn't exist yet. I had to disconnect from the internet to read guides because our internet connection was timed.
It was the age of GameFAQs and other text-based sites. You could read guides at your own pace or print relevant sections as needed.
However, with AoE4, the closest thing to written guides I've seen is chatting with people on Discord. The people on the Griot Bara Discord server have been very helpful, but I wish I didn't need to ask them about so many things. I wish it were written down somewhere.
I love the various YouTube and Twitch pros and content creators we have, but sometimes I just need to read something instead of sitting through a 30-minute video.
Are there any sites that have detailed written guides?

Hi reddit
I'm looking for advice - especially sideboard advice for this beastie I'm working on perfecting on Arena (maybe paper someday)
The idea is to get as many copies of [[Slime Against Humanity]] into the bin ASAP through self-mill/surveil effects
[[Tribute to the World Tree]] gives us much needed card draw gas, and [[Aftermath Analyst]] helps keep us stocked with mana
-Disclaimer-
The original list was found through YouTube, but I've made a bunch of changes and am proud of where it is right now
What I want is advice on the main list, but even more so, advice on sideboard options
So, without further ado, here she is:
https://www.moxfield.com/decks/wscJmpSeLkORj2x3sWo1lQ

My Top 133 Favourite Musicians & Bands of All-Time
Yes, 133. I could have done a straight 100 with this list but I couldn’t sacrifice any of them. Enjoy my subjective pointless opinions lol :)

1. Nirvana-I could write essays on why this band changed my life and why I believe they are the best band of all time. Kurt Cobain, Krist Novaselic, Dave Grohl, Pat Smear, Chad Channing, thank you, thank you Nirvana (Favourite Song-Drain You)
   
2. Hozier-My favourite solo musician ever. The most beautiful voice I have ever heard and some of the most poetic, most romantic lyrics I have ever heard. I saw him in December in concert and lord, I was crying for most of it (Favourite Song-From Eden)
   
3. Tyler, The Creator-My favourite rapper ever. His evolution and ability and his words are a monument to hip hop and CMIYGL just so happens to be my favourite hip hop album ever (Favourite Song-SMUCKERS)
   
4. Jack Stauber-I miss this man a lot. I wish he would come back and release more songs but for now, his work is great and helped me branch to so much more music. Love you Jack (Favourite Song-Dinner Is Not Over)
   
5. Mom Jeans.-In my opinion, the kings of the Midwest-Emo sound. Seeing these guys live last year cemented them as an all-timer for me (Favourite Song-You Can’t Eat Cats Kevin)
   
6. Red Hot Chilli Peppers-A nostalgic band for me. One of the first bands I ever got into and what can I say besides they are just fucking cool (Favourite Song-Mellowship Slinky in B Major)
   
7. The Mars Volta-Insanely unique and progressive production and instrumentals with beautiful vocals from Omar, The Mars Volta’s discography is near flawless for me (Favourite Song-Ilyena)
   
8. 100 Gecs-This duo never fails to get me hyped in any situation, thank you to Laura & Dylan for introducing me to hyper pop (Favourite Song-mememe)
   
9. tricot-Saw these guys just under 2 years ago now. These girls are masters of their craft and are my favourite math rock group (Favourite Song-potage)
   
10. Pixies-Pioneers of rock, even without realising, I think most bands take from the music of Pixies and why wouldn’t they? They are amazing! (Favourite Song-Debaser)
    
11. The Smiths-Poetic & relatable lyrics and charming melodies, The Smiths will always be in my rotations (Favourite Song-This Charming Man)
    
12. TV Girl-One of my favourite indie pop outfits, every song sounds unique and sounds different but still captures a sound that they represent (Favourite Song-Summers Over)
    
13. Have A Nice Life-The most underrated experimental rock outfit ever, each album gives something deep and powerful to behold (Favourite Song-Deep, Deep)
    
14. MF DOOM-Metal Fingers, Viktor Vaughn, King Geedorah, Metal Face, Your favourite rappers favourite rapper, rest in peace (Favourite Song-All Caps)
    
15. Amy Winehouse-One of my sisters and my mum’s favourite musicians. I remember listening to her a lot as a kid. I miss her (Favourite Song-Hey Little Rich Girl)
    
16. System of a Down-NuMetals greatest act, Serj and the gang produced some of the best, most heaviest music of the 2000s which will be remembered for decades (Favourite Song-Toxicity)
    
17. Weezer-Found them through memes, stayed for the music, the blue album and Pinkerton are classics forever (Favourite Song-I Just Through Out The Love Of My Dreams)
    
18. JPEGMAFIA-Found him in a time wanting to look for something different in hip-hop and like he says, Peggy the GOAT (Favourite Song-HAZARD DUTY PAY)
    
19. Jeff Buckley-What this man was able to achieve in such a short time is nothing short of musical genius. I want this man to sing me lullabies (Favourite Song-Lover, You Should Have Come Over)
    
20. Foo Fighters-All I am gonna say is Dave Grohl is probably my favourite musician ever overall and Foo Fighters will always have a place in my heart (Favourite Song-Everlong)
    
21. 2Pac-Discovered Pac during lockdown wanting to discover 90s hip-hop, one of the best to ever speak into the mic (Favourite Song-Heaven Ain’t Hard 2 Find)
    
22. Queens Of The Stone Age-An important band for rock today. One of the best groups I have had the pleasure to listen and jam to (Favourite Song-I Appear Missing)
    
23. Peach Pit-These well dressed boys from Vancouver are one of my favourite indie bands ever and have a really underrated guitarist (Favourite Song-Private Presley)
    
24. The Doors-Jim Morrison is one of the most charismatic artists I have ever listened to and the entire bands instrumental performances are brilliant (Favourite Song-Love Her Madly)
    
25. Hamilton: The Musical Ensemble-I’m a basic bitch but it’s my favourite musical and the entire ensemble produced a great track list that I will always go back to (Favourite Song-Helpless)
    
26. St. Vincent-One of the most underrated female artists in the game today, am so hyped for her next album this year (Favourite Song-Pay Your Way In Pain)
    
27. Lana Del Rey-She serves c*nt, what else is there to say, she oozes coolness and produces great art pop (Favourite Song-Lolita)
    
28. Ariana Grande-Surprisingly for me, Ariana is one of the best mainstream pop artists. Her voice alone just makes what would be something generic into something so much greater. Loved her as a kid, love her now (Favourite Song-Into You)
    
29. Arctic Monkeys-As a Brit, it would feel insane for these guys not to be in this huge list but deservedly so, one of my favourite rock bands ever (Favourite Song-R U MINE)
    
30. Cheerleader Roadkill-I raised these boys. They are still new but they are getting more and more popular and they deserve it. I was there when they had 100 monthly listeners on Spotify. If you like classic punk which sounds modern, listen to them (Favourite Song-Get Up)
    
31. Bo Burnham-An internet icon, his music is both hilarious and real and the INSIDE album will always be talked about (Favourite Song-Left Brain, Right Brain)
    
32. Deftones-I’m so glad this band is finally getting its flowers, everything they make is just so hard and meaningful (Favourite Song-My Own Summer (Shove It)
    
33. Cocteau Twins-I still can’t decipher their lyrics but that doesn’t matter, glittery riffs and powerful production. They are brilliant (Favourite Song-Heaven or Las Vegas)
    
34. Prince-Soulful and funky, a pop icon and the artist Prince Rogers is forever a pop-culture icon (Favourite Song-Cream)
    
35. Elliott Smith-A true craftsman of the folk and lofi genre, rest easy Elliott (Favourite Song-Wouldn’t Mama Be Proud)
    
36. Nai Palm-Although I do love the band Hiyatus Coyote, for me, the lead singer is where my admiration is held, Needle Paw is one of the best neo-soul albums ever. A psychedelic Amy Winehouse (Favourite Song-Mobius)
    
37. And So I Watch From Afar-Gods of the guitar hailing from Northern Ireland, I never knew a guitar could sound that beautiful (Favourite Song-Mullally)
    
38. Dino Gala-Discovered this band randomly from a Spotify recommendation and man, this band is so good. The perfect mix of indie, rock and pop. My favourite song of theirs was my number 1 from my Spotify Wrapped 2023 (Favourite Song-British)
    
39. Neutral Milk Hotel-In The Aeroplane Over The Sea will go down as an all timer album for indie and folk rock (Favourite Song-Holland, 1945)
    
40. Elvis Presley-In a weird way which is a long story, I wouldn’t be the person I am now without Elvis. A nostalgic artist for many and me (Favourite Song-Can’t Help Falling In Love)
    
41. The Beatles-I’d be surprised if this band wasn’t on someone’s top 100 lol. The influential band of all time and deservedly (Favourite Song-Strawberry Fields Forever)
    
42. Pearl Jam-A pillar of the Seattle sound, one of mine and my dads favourite bands (Favourite Song-Superblood Wolfmoon)
    
43. Japanese Breakfast-After listening to Jubilee for the first time, I had to go and listen to the rest of their discography and wow, please listen if you love Dream-Pop (Favourite Song-Kokomo, IN)
    
44. Descendants-An important band in punk history, this band inspired so many great bands and rightfully so, they put teenage angst and put into music with sharp melodies and infectious lyrics (Favourite Song-Hope)
    
45. Yung Heazy-He seemed to have vanished but his run of bedroom pop bangers really solidified him for me (Favourite Song-FML)
    
46. Paramore-One of the best bands born from the pop-punk book, this band as well as many of my friends will always be special to us (Favourite Song-Brick By Boring Brick)
    
47. Danny Brown-A hilarious personality with an incredible ability with his production and rapping (Favourite Song-Pac Blood)
    
48. Childish Gambino-Donald Glover is such a special and talented person and Childish Gambino is one of my favourite rappers ever (Favourite Song-Freaks & Geeks)
    
49. Miracle Musical-The entire Hawaii Part II album is one of the best albums of all time, please listen! (Favourite Song-Dream Sweet in Sea Major)
    
50. Dua Lipa-As someone who isn’t a fan of the mainstream pop sound, Dua Lipa is an outlier in the best way possible. Fun, catchy, pop music done right (Favourite Song-Levitating)
    
51. Indigo De Souza-Brings something really unique to indie music. A great voice and beautiful sounds and instrumentals (Favourite Song-Kill Me)
    
52. Ichiko Aoba-Soft, Melodic, Real. Aoba captures such a beautiful simple sound with her music which I wish to see live 100% (Favourite Song-Mars 2027)
    
53. Jimi Hendrix-A god of the guitar and a pioneer of the psychedelic rock genre, Electric Ladyland is one of the greatest albums of all time (Favourite Song-All Along The Watchtower)
    
54. Psychedelic Porn Crumpets-Brilliant band name, even more brilliant band with brilliant melodies (Favourite Song-Cubensis Lenses)
    
55. Green Day-One of my first all time favourites lol. Listened to them a lot as a kid and they truly are great, big up Billy Joe Armstrong (Favourite Song-Holiday)
    
56. Gorillaz-Damon Albarn created one of the best music projects of all time and 2D, Murdoc, Noodle & Russel will be remembered forever (Favourite Song-DARE)
    
57. Death Grips-Loud, angry, completely unique hip-hop and breakcore. The Money Store is an all-timer (Favourite Song-Get Got)
    
58. Mac DeMarco-An indie godfather of bedroom pop, just a soothing musician who really grabs your attention (Favourite Song-My Kind of Woman)
    
59. Deerhoof-They just keep getting better, they manage to still sound new to me and just sound fun (Favourite Song-Your Dystopic Creation Does Not Fear You)
    
60. Yeat-My favourite trap artist, bro is straight up brilliant with one of the best stage presences (Favourite Song-Flawless)
    
61. Penelope Scott-Captures the sound of Generation Z and the indie-pop sound which catches us, a really great artist (Favourite Song-Cigarettes Ahegao)
    
62. Westside Gunn-One of the best in the game right now creating east coast hip hop which still sounds different (Favourite Song-Danhausen)
    
63. Joey Valance & Brae-Called the modern day Beastie Boys, for me, they have cemented themselves into their own and they are brilliant (Favourite Song-Tanaka)
    
64. Tennis-God, these two are adorable together and it makes their music sound so much more real. One of my favourites (Favourite Song-Runner)
    
65. Tanukichan-A great shoegaze musician which leaves you sitting and dreaming into another world (Favourite Song-Hunned Bandz)
    
66. Iron Maiden-When trying to get into the metal scene of the 60s-80s, there was only one that caught me. That was Iron Maiden. Absolutely incredible (Favourite Song-Hallowed Be Thy Name)
    
67. Oliver Tree-Some find him annoying and that the persona is overdone. Oliver for me will always hold is special place for me branching out my music taste though (Favourite Song-Cash Machine)
    
68. Big Pun-How he came up and delivered his bars will always astonish me, RIP (Favourite Song-The Dream Shatterer)
    
69. Rage Against The Machine-A band with a message and they do it so well combining so much into great music (Favourite Song-Killing In The Same)
    
70. The Notorious B.I.G.-Big Poppa, Biggie Smalls, a godfather of east coast hip hop, rest easy (Favourite Song-Juicy)
    
71. Mac Miller-RIP always to this man, a huge musical inspiration to my sister and me, along with his warm personality, his music will always be special to me in the hip-hop genre (Favourite Song-Knock Knock)
    
72. my bloody valentine-One of, if not the best shoegaze band of all time, their second album will be studied for decades (Favourite Song-only shallow)
    
73. Michael Jackson-The King of Pop, that is all (Favourite Song-Beat It)
    
74. Radiohead-Trailblazers and legends of rock music with every album brining something different and meaningful (Favourite Song-Exit Music For A Film)
    
75. Chat Pile-Heavy and sounds like sludge in the best way possible, if you are a fan of metal, please give these guys a listen (Favourite Song-Slaughterhouse)
    
76. Little Simz-Probably my favourite female rapper today. Truly sounds unique and has a great talent (Favourite Song-Gorilla)
    
77. My Chemical Romance-The godfathers of Emo and Pop-Punk. Inspired whole subcultures and their influence will live forever (Favourite Song-I’m Not Okay)
    
78. The Offspring-A true punk and skater band who can be serious but also kinda funny and do both great (Favourite Song-Pretty Fly For A White Guy)
    
79. Kill Bill: The Rapper-I love rappers who genuinely sound authentic and sound like they are having fun when they perform and Kill Bill is perfect for this! (Favourite Song-False Swipe)
    
80. HYUKOH-A soulful, feel good indie boy band from South Korea, probably my favourite act from the country (Favourite Song-TOMBOY)
    
81. Heathers: The Musical-Another musical but I just love the soundtrack to death (Favourite Song-Candy Store)
    
82. Mannequin Pussy-One of the best punk bands going today, I really enjoyed their last album they released last month, deffo give it a listen (Favourite Song-Romantic)
    
83. ATTARASHI GAKKO!-One of the best acts currently in Japan, this group makes such great pop music combining elements of prog rock and jazz, a really brilliant group (Favourite Somg-koi geba)
    
84. The Last Dinner Party-Industry plants? Yes. Genuinely brilliant, also yes. Saw these girls live at a Hozier concert and I was swooning lol (Favourite Song-My Lady of Mercy)
    
85. Black Country, New Road-One of the best new groups of the last few years and even with a high note like their last album, I know they have not peaked yet (Favourite Song-Basketball Shoes)
    
86. Billy Cobb-Although known for his covers, his solo work has really impressed me with some brilliant original work (Favourite Song-Dumb Song For Virgins To Cry To)
    
87. Kittie-Metal scream queens, a really underrated act from the Nu-Metal era (Favourite Song-Do You Think I’m A Wh*re)
    
88. SE SO NEON-A South Korean rock troop, their unique sound sold me as soon as I found them randomly on YouTube lol (Favourite Song-The Wave)
    
89. Mitski-One of the best songwriters today and with her last album this year, I think the sky is truly the limit for her (Favourite Song-My Love Is Mine)
    
90. Alice In Chains-A pillar of grunge and metal, these guys are heavy in the best way possible, love them (Favourite Song-Nothin’ Song)
    
91. IDLES-The best hardcore band today in the UK, I want to mosh to these guys live one day! (Favourite Song-Never Fight A Man With A Perm)
    
92. Lil Nas X-A hilarious personality who makes really good and catchy pop and hip-hop music, the sky is the limit for him (Favourite Song-Industry Baby)
    
93. Playboi Carti-Whole Lotta Red is one of my favourite albums to listen to when I need to get some energy (Favourite Song-On That Time)
    
94. Father John Misty-I love this man’s style, his aura and his authentic sounding folk pop which deserves to be on your rotation (Favourite Song-I Love You, Honeybear)
    
95. Erykah Badu-A muse of the R&B and Soul genres, she is truly a legend (Favourite Song-Didn’t Cha Know?)
    
96. TUYU-A Japanese pop group creating catchy tunes with sick instrumentals (Favourite Song-It’s Raining After All)
    
97. Ocean Grove-This generations Limp Bizkit but doing what they did 100x better, these Aussies deserve to be in your listening rotations (Favourite Song-SUPERSTAR)
    
98. Smashing Pumpkins-One of the great bands of the 90s, today, I still adore listening to them with Melancholy being one of my all time favourite albums (Favourite Song-1979)
    
99. Run The Jewels-Killer Mike & El-P will go down as one of the greatest duos in hip-hop history. Passionate lyrics accompanied by nasty beats (Favourite Song-Close Your Eyes & Count To Fuck)
    
100. clipping.-Daveed Diggs is a musical mastermind with him and the trio creating such unique sounding hip hop with insane time signatures (Favourite Song-Story 2)
     
101. Freddie Gibbs-Big Boss Rabbit, Freddie Gibbs always feels new to me with his take on Gangsta Rap, great artist (Favourite Song-High)
     
102. The Cranberries-My mums favourite band actually, such a monumental group and one of the best from Ireland (Favourite Song-Forever Yellow Skies)
     
103. Lingua Ignota-Kristin Hayter, whether it be her own work or her most recent work as Reverend Kristin Michael Hayter, her experiences have shaped a haunting musical experience which leaves you speechless (Favourite Song-I WHO BEND THE TALL GRASSES)
     
104. Soundgarden-Chris Cornell is one of the best musicians of all time and Soundgarden is one of his best accomplishments (Favourite Song-Spoonman)
     
105. The Callous Daoboys-These guys kept popping up in my Spotify Discover Weekly and honestly, they impressed me each time, please give these guys love, they deserve it. If you like unique, quirky metal music, give them a listen (Favourite Song-Star Baby)
     
106. The Sugarcubes-Although I am still exploring Bjorks music, her band The Sugarcubes are a delight that I will always love listening to (Favourite Song-Birthday)
     
107. The Front Bottoms-Folk icons creating great music with Midwest-Emo twist (Favourite Song-Lonely Eyes)
     
108. King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard-Have produced several amazing psychedelic rock albums, truly amazing (Favourite Song-Flying Microtonal Banana)
     
109. Freddie Dread-My intro to Phonk and it goes hard (Favourite Song-Wrath)
     
110. Big Joanie-Black Feminist British Rock Icons (Favourite Song-Fall Asleep)
     
111. The Cardigans-A brilliant pop band, their music makes you want to dance and sing loud in the shower, infectiously fun (Favourite Song-Lovefool)
     
112. Sinéad O’ Connor-A voice the world will never forget and one of the best artists to come from Ireland (Favourite Song-Mandinka)
     
113. Poppy-I was skeptical when I first heard of Poppy’s music but man, I was delighted after sitting down to listen to her first albums, one of the best in the electronic metal genre (Favourite Song-Her)
     
114. Machine Girl-My intro to breakcore and still my favourite breakcore group (Favourite Song-Ghost)
     
115. Plumtree-Discovered them looking for the Scott Pilgrim movie album but found something great. A brilliant 90s girl rock band (Favourite Song-Scott Pilgrim)
     
116. Florence + The Machine-Florence Welsh is one of the UKs greatest and one of the most underrated musical exports, a musical wonder (Favourite Song-All This & Heaven Too)
     
117. MEMI-With a short discography, this girl from Korea really impressed me and her songs have all been on repeat in my room (Favourite Song-I don’t give a damn)
     
118. Violent Soho-From Down Under, Violent Soho are one of the best alt-rock bands on the 2010s (Favourite Song-Jesus Stole My Girlfriend)
     
119. Greentea Peng-One of the best musicians to come out of London today, she is a soulful, soft and smooth sounding musician who deserves more praise (Favourite Song-Nah, It Ain’t The Same)
     
120. Catfish & The Bottlemen-It took me a while to get in to them but their last few albums really sold me. These Welsh boys are great! (Favourite Song-Fluctuate)
     
121. Jelani Aryeh-The way better, underrated version of Frank Ocean, that’s all I’ll say (Favourite Song-Earl Grey)
     
122. Drop Nineteens-An underrated shoegaze band from the 90s, definitely one to look back on and enjoy! (Favourite Song-Winona)
     
123. CZARFACE-Originating from the Wu-Tang, this man is still making brilliant music that goes so hard (Favourite Song-Lumberjack Match)
     
124. beabadoobee-Indie pop idol beabadoobee is one of my favourite up and comers of our generation (Favourite Song-Talk)
     
125. Logic-People hate on Logic way too much in my opinion. I think he has made some great hits and some fun albums so for that, he is on this list (Favourite Song-1-800-273-8255)
     
126. Tiny Moving Parts-Combining Midwest Emo with Math Rock creating an authentic sound that all emo fans would love (Favourite Song-Caution)
     
127. Neck Deep-Pop Punk icons, a great band with a great discography (Favourite Song-In Bloom)
     
128. Hospital Bracelet-Despite a small discography, I find this bands sound and emotional lyrics really beautiful, give em a listen (Favourite Song-Happy Birthday)
     
129. 9mm Parabellum Bullet-A Punk and Metal band hailing from Japan, this band makes some of the best rock music in Japan, deffo listen! (Favourite Song-ハートに火をつけて (Album Ver.)
     
130. Surf Curse-Combining surfer rock with a classic indie sound, these guys helped me a lot weirdly during my parents divorce lol (Favourite Song-Freaks ft. Travis Barker)
     
131. Rain On Fridays-A small indie band I really enjoy and deserve more love. Go give them a listen! (Favourite Song-Lincoln’s Licorice)
     
132. Fantastic Negrito-One of my favourite blues artists. Probably my favourite! Deffo listen if you want to explore some modern blues music (Favourite Song-Chocolate Samurai)
     
133. Tropical Fuck Storm-Aussie Acid Rock, these guys will get your mind racing in the best way possible (Favourite Song-Who’s My Eugene?)
     

Signage at the entrance of this reserved acreage dotted with shredded tires and plastic slides proclaims it Springfield. I feel I've entered an analogue of where I started. My old neighborhood had streets named after birds never or rarely seen in those areas, surrounded by newly constructed living compartments named after geographical features not local either - Red River Ranch, Brookview. Since entering Illinois I haven't passed anything truly resembling a field. Abandoned strip malls and rusted metal warehouses filled with nondescript inventory. Lopsided rows of houses built before cookie cutters became architectural implements. Independently owned convenient marts targeted by recent erection of international franchises of petrol purveyors. Notta single grassy lea.
Amusement tickled as soon as I pulled in, recalling a commentary track onna DVD release of John Carpenter's Halloween. He pointed out that there were palm trees in the shot close to the beginning of the movie where Jamie Curtis was being eyed by Michael on the daylit streets offa town that was sposta be in Illinois. Being filmed in California, he assumed such greenery was typically nonexistent inna place such as this. The home two down from the one I just sold had palm trees, and so does the cracked pavement lanes allowing entrance to this city park.
Water languidly dribbles out of the drinking fountains when pressed, and the actual taps have the spigot handles removed. Friendliness oozes like an infected wound here. Better dress that welcoming pus puddle, 'man. Bandages are next to the motor oil, $18.99USD.
Sooner than expected, my liason from the travelling motivation show creeps toward the front line I'm holding solo underneath the oxidizing steel awnings. Yes, my Ford Exploder is parked directly underneath a basketball goal, on the side of the court with the shuttered concession stand, long bereft of the aroma of Rico's©®™ cheese and tubes of unicorn meat. As the Beastie Boys would tell you, I step into the party and disrupt the whole scene.
Smile and a nod through the windshield. The rectangle on wheels he's piloting is passengerless and also by its lonesome. Help is everywhere. Good help issan underground niche sub-genre populated by social outcasts. Bitter, smart-ass ones quick on the verbal draw. We make this shit look like ice cream cake on someone else's birthday. My lopsided grin moves the tip of my cheap, unlit cigarette to the fore as I recall a joke lobbed by the immortal FrogLab on my Facebook feed: ....brought brownies to work today. Wasn't being nice or considerate. Heard they were drug testing. So unless they wanna fire the entire workforce they better leave me the fuck alone.
I don't remember circus tent man's name and I don't mention this. Being handed a key to the padlock securing the cargo from the driver's window, I throw open the door as soon assits motionless, hanging from the handle and riding the stepped bumper. Before the bearded, lumbering beast exits the vehicle I've set the gas-fed stainless grill on the court and fished bacon, eggs, onions, peppers, and tortillas out of the lengthy ice chest. They're sizzling away before he removes the ubiquitous cellphone away from his ear.
" We're it. ", he reports, puffing onna disposable THC vape pen before passing it to the left front side.
" Gimmie one 'a those twenty-fours. We'll be refilling the stock. Talent isn't showing for two days. "
" Because U Deserve What Every Individual Should Enjoy Regularly, " handing over a red and white can.
" Can't get fresher than these unless we drop by Image-Line's headquarters in Belgium. What are we toasting to? "
The ox-man, who strongly resembles a brightly colored plastic He-Man toy and is at least three of my not-skinny personal build stapled together, raises his beer as the Statue Of Liberty.
" Fuck ProTools! "
Carbonation drizzles on both our shirts as our pre-breakfast cocktail gets its first installment. Mine depicts a screaming skull wearing headphones, his proclaims the wearer event staff for Crystal Gayle. Veterans of the loudness war united to remember our lost in the Great DAW conflict. Opening my eyes at the final swallows of bubbling rotten sugar, I spy an impressive raptor gliding down in concentric circles. Its wingspan is a yardstick at least, painted like a brown and white A-10 Warthog. Awe-inspiring as I imagine a condor would be. Even a rabid hunter would lower their rifle sights. Storks deliver babies and this thing eats the unattended ones. Contributes to keeping the population in check. And its sitting, calm as the proverbial fuck, on top of the truck's cab. Trading a dripping second aluminum cylinder forra plastic reverse whistle, I grab two extruded styrene bowls. Our new team mascot shall feast as we do.
As we are wiping our greasy faces on our sleeves, I retrieve the now empty disposable vessels before the wind carries them away. For being a modern pterodactyl, it has remarkable manners. Not one tiny hole torn through either flimsy containers. It even used its beak to grab the edge of the one I poured a beer into to drink the rest.
*****
As the rosy fingers of fading daylight reaches into its satiny undergarment to sultrily probe, the canvas shelter is looking forelorn, drooping on one end. There is plenty of room to shelter one ox-man, one organic sarcasm machine, and even one prehistoric ground-effect fighter jet iffit so chooses. When finished, the temporary congregation will be able to park near the intended entrance, cross the covered concrete of a picnic-tabled serving area, and enter refreshment in hand to sit on folding chairs arrayed in rows. Two thirds of the flapping structure are hoisted aloft, interior completed with PA equipped podium, various tables littered with promotional materials, and all seats - either opened or waiting for space. A propane heater and several rack mounted lights that give off more heat than that have made the resultant space more inviting than either of our vehicles. My pallet of moving blankets looks amateurish compared to the beastman's instant kingsize air mattress, though his sleeping accomodations bear almost enough rubber patched and gaffer taped scars that the original surface is nearly unseen. Indeed, the Lord hath provided liquid bread for His servants today, and quite allot offit. Despite the setup crew consisting of two, we are ahead of schedule. Total gig handled by afternoon tomorrow, barring nuclear winter or possibly solar eclipse, leaving a full evening and night to play while the mouthpiece of some god cavorts in a honeymoon suite with a scenic view.
Almost no one else has entered the boundaries of the city park. A few elderly walkers along the dirt and gravel track. No children playing or parents tending to their flock. Even traffic passing by seems sparse for the population of the area.
Our mascot/local supervisory agent we have dubbed Titan, has only left when we did, for supplies from a nearby foodmarket. Neither of us being Audubon Society members, the sex of the bird remains uncertain, Titan sounding unisex assa moniker. And shitgoddamnmotherbitch iffit wasn't playing hood ornament when we left the store carrying our bags. Since that moment the pair of us began talking to it like Enrico Fermi was part of the roundtable discussion. It even cocks its head to the side like I do when I ask for its opinions on my proprietary abstract and lateral thinking exercises. Its nice to be appreciated.
*****
Three in the morning; witching hour on the dot.
In my dream Titan was suggesting some new mental obstacle courses. It spoke inna high midrange harsh consonant bark and used a few terms unfamiliar while tearing apart a lamb and gobbling fresh, steaming innards. At one point in the conversation it emitted a lower pitched belch, timed perfectly for emphasis.
Suddenly -
My eyes fly awake and I'm on my feet, clad in socks on the pebbled dirt and grass, as if my torso was violently yanked upright by the front of my unworn jacket. Everything is overwhelming nuclear radiation glo-stick death green, emanating from no discernable source and noonday bright. Something that commands my attention and is the size offa van is dead center in the unfinished part of the tent, invisible to my eyes except a granulated, pitch black amorphous outline. Brown shadows, as if lit from a row of candles, slither slimily on the coarse fabric behind. My nostrils heave, almost posing as gills, the humidity is so dense the fogbank may well be what is blocking my view, and, horrified, they scream that our slumber party reeks of Joseph Goebbels mother's vagina. Something big is projecting a thin stream of burning, smoking like a bicycle tire on fire, over my left shoulder upwards. It splits the view of my surroundings like a deflected lazer blast inna comic book - avenger orange-rust cleaving sickness lime. Without concious effort my chest resonates; growling from stomachward....
*****
" Ay - Oh - Cees...."
Bones resonating pick up the torturously slow speech instead of airborne pressure changes. Musculature taut, teeth grit, eyes fixed forward, still struggling to even find the onyx sandstorm edges of what is obviously threatening. Thick, clear liquid the consistency of K-Y Jelly©®™ falls in steady droplets from my nose, mixed with the thinner sweatstream. Something gritty and sharp is encased in the gel; microfine crystalline scratching trails between skin cells.
" Rowr - Anth - Nod...."
Vision reports two separate hemispheres - obvious overlay images shredded and incomplete at their edges - revealing cinematic themes. My daughter and my fiancé inhabit the subject matter of each. Both are naked and torn into blood-soaked pieces against horizons filled of dark, volcanic boulders. Played above each as projections on sky unseen are shaky, magnetic taped anguishes respectively.
Bad move. If you're gonna invade, read your intel report, demon. Surely it mentioned its target was uncharacteristically able to creatively visualize various instances of time and possibilities. As Upright Citizen's Brigade's Captain Lunatic ( that's Loo-naught-ic ) would proclaim, " You think I didn't know that!?! "
The demonic are always looking for weaknesses to exploit, as many others will. And those who rely on exploitation are unfailingly lazy cowards.
What was designed to cripple agonizingly has only served to cease and still any interior dialogue. Perfect zen. No thoughts necessary.
Kill and keep killing.
My axe is leaning against a plastic folding table halfway between me and my shifting, hiding target, crossed with the orange and black handle of my maul. For weeks I resuscitated the abandoned tool with copious amounts of cyanoacrylate, baking soda, and many hours of grinding with a rotary tool. Its head is spotless of rust, former deep pits individually smoothed away into a wavering prizm of slasher movie light shearing glory. I can't see it directly - the slaughterous human behaviors being depicted encase my central view. Only in extreme peripherals is the objective reality in extant, and that is fading fast and becoming sharper in focus.
" Enn - Hark! - Nod! "
Mouth open inna scream but no sound emitting, I rush forward, right hand wrapping around the pitted, curved wooden handle as if I was retrieving a straw from beside the soda fountain.
It is the items we spend our currency of attention on that are imbued with what we may have to give them.
No single step wasted. Every motion pure of intention, executed with precision. Downward swing at end of charge. The high pitched piercing shriek triples in intensity as the first true sound since I've been awakened, followed immediately by what my ears describe assa giant sequoia trunk eaten by scourge from interior out splitting.
Greenish blinding death glow returns to overwhelm. Retch-inducing malodor of despairing falsehood and unprocessed ignorance. Vomiting, still unable to focus on what this thing looks like, I extract the axe head and throw it back hurtling towards the matte distortion that is covering me innits invisible but boiling hot humours, the shining blade cleaving a half-moon in the unwashed sea surrounding.
Painfull screech cuts across from my right. Footlong feathers grasping and sharp rake my right cheek before something like a hurricane tossed buoy strikes the back of my head.
Unconsciousness.
Cessation of dream, waking or asleep.
*****
Tepid tack of miasmal drainage glues my splayed fingers to the encrusted mud. Separate institutional fire alarms peal roaring in both eardrums. Eyes fighting will to open. A stomach convulsion spews acidic columns of regurgitation forth; after tens of seconds air is permitted back to the lungs. Axe head glorious and triumphant - luminous in the dirt. Squirming flesh like birch bark splats on my naked back and snakes away.
Grasping my weapon and spinning once again, my cluttered vision beholds: Titan, rocking whip-like in dirty airspace, as if clutching a mechanical bull in its talons. Its head is half disappearing continuously, rending offal back and forth with each cutting grasp.
Grappling a swath of smeary projections and ripping them away like tinkertoys is a minotaur, at least eight or nine feet tall, with huge spiral horns spitting orange-red, smoking flames in jets from jagged hollow ends. The legs terminate in gigantic humanoid feet, stomping forward on severed clusters of warted grey mush. A tendril, segmented, begins a pincered descent on its back. Intention becomes action once again; swinging upwards heaves my legs to an upright position. Though not a typical motion to make with such a tool, practice and familiarity place the business end where my eyes target, as it should be. The length of attacking protrusion neatly lops off at its hinged middle joint, missing the ox-man's back by inches. It is now apparent what happened to me.
Our enemy is more or less defined in space to me now, being covered innits own rancid ooze and severed of many limbs. Not amorphous after all, but a nonagonal spidehydra. Almost all of the protrusions stemming from the center mass are laying useless and detached in pools of various foul liquids and gelatinous murk. Most arm-like, hinged appendeges ended in either an insectoid barbed pincer claw or an opening lined with rows of inward spiraling teeth.
With another heaving mountain of sasquatch stomp, the flailing and rude intrusive projections cease. Titan perches on the edge of the plastic folding banquet table, chest heaving, staring with gamecock frenzy at what was once our adversary. Broken feathers the size of quill pens jut at perpendicular angles from its wings. Its probably my imagination, always on duty overtime, orra continuation of the storyline previous to our battle engagement, but its face, devoid of the traits humans have to convey emotions, is indignant. The flip side offa coin token with " Yeah, what the fuck you expect? " engraved.
Turning to evaluate ox-man's condition, purest horrific fear erupts for the first time. When the white portions of livestock's eyes are showing, that issa sign of imminent danger and alarm. Ox-man's minotaur counterpart has whites displayed prominently around black centers and the gigantic form is stepping backward tentatively. It isn't until I realize that its me - sort of, my astral form - that is the center of attention, not something else behind me. Because this thing is huge. An ages old symbol of strength and championship. Titan and I might've opened some wounds and taken out relatively small chunks, but most of the deathblows were courtesy of pure brute force by this impressive creature's bravado fueled rage. Real fear I've found does not rain chill upon one's demeanor - the turning of one's blood cold. More like the static, pins and needles offa waking limb rescued from low flow. Upon witnessing retreating fear in this beast's gait, my first thought was that this was it, 'man . Anything inspiring this reaction is about to chew on my spine....
Ox-man's bullish voice creaks of uncured leather, smoke of crucibles and forges, rustling autumn leaves.
" Uh. What? What in Samhain are you?! "
*****
Surveying the absolute mess now taking front and center stage in the good reverend's traveling love and salvation show, I attempt humor.
" So, this means we don't have the rest of the evening free of duties? "
That is an understatement. The floor being the city park's ground, there is no amount of disinfectant and polishing that can scour away the abandoned fish market wastage that remains of our recent activity.
Ox-man - I really would be a better acquaintance iffi at least attempted to remember someone's name - steps back once again. At least the darkness has returned to his eyes.
Startling us both, a barking high-midrange stutter of what is most curiously human hysterical laughter spills out of the raptor's beak, followed by a lengthy stream of consonant clusters that are enunciated well and clearly a language unheard by all but perhaps aviary employee ears.
Forra solid minute the other two entities present stare in silence, before both nodding solemnly - a placating acknowledgement - I hear you.
The jets of smoking heat shooting from the pair of curled horns has diminished to pilot lights. Scorch marks and sooty smoke trails in difficult to explain thin avenues crisscross the ceiling of the circus theater like ley lines connecting sacred sites and nexuses.
Then, the local gig worker's union's mascot finds English, cracked assa pubescent boy's plaintive request:
" There any beer left? "
If birds had eyebrows, would they cock them questioningly?
*****
And one eventful night in Illinois three monsters quaffed alcohol, rejoicing in life.
*****
" Okay, " in earth tones.
" What the unholy sabbath? Can you stop doing that? Its really freaking me the fuck out. "
Another abrupt package of laughter from the dinosaur descendant. Bipeds stagger and stumble when drunk. Apparently, birds have an equivalent. Titan pops the top onna 24oz and punctures a hole on the other side of the lid, tilting the bottom skyward and impressively gulping.
" Wow. Didn't spill a drop. That's better than we do. Um. No. It isn't a consciously controlled event that you're apparently still witnessing. I couldn't make sense of any visual information until that thing was dead. Just a grainy, shifting black outline and filtered shadows offit. I only have a second and third hand description to explain: as you're a liberated, labyrinth dwelling Hellboy right now, I'm guessing that I have a reddish, swirling cloud of solid anger about my person. And many simultaneous forms are emerging from the primordial crimson mists, usually faces, scanning and surveying in all directions. I've been told that inanimate objects are also part of the set dressing and actor's troupe. Reports indicate that my corporal body is well guarded when its asleep, which is usually more offan exhausted state iffi can help it. I don't like dreaming while asleep, and if there's too much repair and re-organization for the structure's crew to perform, usually that part of the experience is regulated to waking hours. Further intelligence gathered notes that sometimes my presence when asleep, quote, disappears from the astral plane entirety. End quote. That especially disconcerted my fiancé's aunt, not only because she'd never witnessed anything or one else do that, but I imagine because it doesn't fit in to her subjective worldview. To paraphrase a third hand rendition, according to others the astral plane is where beings go to be invisible. Iffan entity can be unseen on the astral plane, that must mean that other realms exist to choose from. Lovecraft wrote that the oldest and strongest emotion of humankind is fear. And the oldest and strongest fear is that of the unknown. Those who have chosen a doctrine to follow, I guess for some sort of convenience to move on tooa different task, as opposed to those who explore and compose their own, find incongruous ideas intolerable, especially when exposed and presented later in lifespan. The documentary What The Bleep Do We Know postulated that the first person - according tooa written account - a tribal shaman onna beach, to observe the conquistadors arriving via sailed ships couldn't actually see the boats. Their mind had never conceived that crossing an ocean, by hundreds atta time, no less, nor horses, was possible. But their eyes and brain were well familiar with the behaviors until that point of water, and the movement of the waves around the wooden crafts was noticeable. Not having an explanation on hand, and being of their job description to figure shit like this out, the shaman remained on the beach, staring out and evaluating all possibilities, until several sunrises later the inevitable, testable conclusion revealed what the Spaniards, er, maybe the Portuguese, were floating on and in. Applying a smattering of ideas from Jung, Freud, and their ilk, a self-analysis could indicate why I don't observe events and objects such as the ones we're discussing - they're taken for granted by the self I've constructed to be both real and not-real, reality itself being both a thing and not-thing. A focus my intention is usually in; seeing a forest instead of understanding its made of trees. And when peering into the shaded, leaved alcoves of such, observing the thick cell walls; xylem and phloem. Wow. Simmer down there, big guy. This self-made self is observing stiff movement underneath your shorts. I said ilk, not elk. Truly spawn of Zeus you are. Fuck. Okay, my turn. So, " gulp, fizzle " if the Incredible Hulk is always wearing ragged purple shorts because Mr. Fantastic gave him super stretchy ultra-high-tech underwear the dirty rage machine never takes off, how are you clad inna leather kilt? Did you skin and tan the last creature you had sex with? "
Streams of domestic brew explode out of both half-dollar sized nostrils as my partner in vigilante justice chortles.
" Shit, 'man. You ever consider a septum piercing? Like an antique brass door knocker? "
" Sounds like you wouldn't believe me if I told you anyway. Figure it out, scientist! "
" I see how it is. Good answer. Alright. " Throwing my flattened empty and scoring three points, I retrieve three identical from their salted, icy, insulated compartment. Distributing these, I muse aloud, " So. Those concrete steps behind the locked maintenance building go down tooa creek. Maybe we can shovel this servant of the Prince Of Lies into fish food, throw enough dirt over the floor after we dump a 55-gallon barrel of Febreeze©®™ onnit to make being in here nearly tolerable with the flaps open and one of those warehouse fans in the truck spinning, and....uh, ah! Few cans of khaki camouflage spray paint on the ceiling. How many hours we got? "
Another staccato burst of slurred, beaked laughter.
" Have fun, thumb users! "
Titan's already empty hollowly rolls away, as the winged one's head flops over on the table. This time its my turn to guffaw.
" Okay. Do you see this? Or issat just my invention? Did Terry Gilliam just creep in here and draw X's over Titan's eyes? "
" Oh. I don't like Spam©®™! "
*****
Waiting, dreaming, smoking. Watching the frigid creek dissipate the hellish muddle of flesh shoveled most unceremoniously into it hours earlier. Concrete, uneven steps descending far below the level of municipal playground providing stolid, unobtrusive backdrop for reflections wavering of universes nextdoor. Possibilities weighing and weightless, observed and discarded. Some need grafting. Others unmaking. Often, they are bleak or horrifyingly uneventful. Occasionally someone will notice or sense an outside influence and be spied bird's eye staring at edges of hedges or corners of brick edifices.
Salvia divinorum has placed a transient motion about my being, an awareness of whispers not discernable from life not prone to language. Plants sway independent of breeze and hover taller in blur. Trees are louder in their indifference. The creek itself is silent when it wouldn't otherwise be. Running water hath a history of being an impassable border to those incorporeal. This quiet stream is placid beyond patience. Healing as youthful fantasia - let no discomfort pass unchecked or unchanged. A testament of returning to serenity. Synthesis of nutrients crystalline and mineraled. Vitality voluminous - breathe in and hold.
Having made my tribute and offering to Eris, I pray to Patricia's god as she requested. I do not ask it for favors. An acknowledgement and statement of reason interrupting. And quick disengage.
Evidence of ants excavating leaves tiny cones of spitballed earth dotting the dirt. None of the workers are accounted for. Must be a three-day weekend. Volcanic activity inna passing grid window - tons of ash spewing heated and mushroom. Exotic blooms of both petal and algae expected soon at caldera. Red, orange, yellow, fuchsia, puce, aquamarine, teal, navy. Crunches of exoskeletons in amphibious mouths. Moth/flame relationships. Candled ears catching dust, in particular.
A comet sears overhead. Its icy trail of darkness a #1 pencil line above in azure canvas.
Develop.
Breathe.
Sex.
Patricia.
*****

Each day since the new Patch, on Xbox, I have tried to join Nomad Dominion FFA via Quick Play but after 15-20 games now, Dominion has never once been an Active Win Condition. It seems to be working somewhat in that I can play Dominion in Custom and Skirmish but even here, the Monarchs do not have any abilities (Speed, Treason or any others if there are more.)
I’ve been asking on here, Twitch, YouTube etc and no one seems to have any answer.
Does anyone out there have any ideas - or more impressive, a way to actually l get in touch with Relic as they have done a fantastic job on the website of creating a loop so when you click Contact Us and it takes you to troubleshooting, nearly 100pages later you realise, there is no Contact Us page!
Is it so much to ask that I could play in the correct pool to end up in a Casted Game by Aussie or Beasty!? - I just wanna say I had my ass handed to me by the greats lmao… someone help me get killed by the Pros lol!

Introduction

It's time to present another installment of the monthly Best Of /mashups list. It's a late entry because of other commitments but better late than never. Best of February 2024 to come hopefully by the end of the month.
In creating this list, newer metrics introduced in 2022 were used. These are:

• Total Views
• Upvote Rate
• Community Karma
• Shares

The new metric we're most interested in is total views. Views are important because it can be used with upvote count to help identify submission engagement rate. In an era where native video provides faster growth than YouTube links, engagement is really helpful in identifying potentially underrated mashups that could have gotten higher upvote counts if they were viewed by more users.
This month only saw two posts above 20 upvotes but even so, the top tracks were good quality for the most part.

Compilation

With lower vote counts overall, the number of mashups on this list has gone down to the normal lower number of 15 from past lists. It includes two tiers as follows:

• Tier 1: Most upvoted (30+ considered, 7 or 8 selected)
• Tier 2: All other mashups, sorted by engagement rate (20+ considered, 7 or 8 selected)

8 mashups from Tier 1 and 7 from Tier 2 were selected to form the list you see below.
Mashups that made the list were not only in key, on tempo, and properly structured for the most part, but stood out enough in some way. All mashups selected were full length in their original posts, or demos with full versions available.
For variety, no more than two mashups using the same song were included (priority to higher vote tiers first).
A huge congratulations to all those who made the compilation! I've tagged you in responses.

The List TODO

• BRATMix - Eleanor's Memories Fade (The Beatles, Tears For Fears) (u/bratmix) Post Audio
• Dark2Reaper - Intergalactic (Atarashii Gakko, Beastie Boys) (u/aresef) Post Video
• DJ Topcat - Folsom Prison Gangstaz (Johnny Cash, Eazy-E) (u/RayAnselmo) Post Video
• DVP - Another Precious Brick In The Knows (Leonard Cohen & Depeche Mode, Pink Floyd) (u/worldstallest) Post Video
• Gladilord - Henny Bill Henassi (Benny Hill Theme, Benny Benassi) (u/GladiLord) Post Remix.audio
• haakmash - The Unforsteven (Say It Ain't So) (Metallica, Weezer) (u/o0HAAK0o) Post Video Remix.audio
• lobsterdust - Ridin' Dirty In Chicago (Chicago, Chamillionaire, Weird Al) (u/djlobsterdust) Post Video Bandcamp
• Mamashup - Levitating x Let's get it started (Dua Lipa, Black Eyed Peas) (u/Mamashup) Post Video
• Neferex - Everything's Gonna Be Alright Woman (Naughty By Nature, Bob Marley) (u/neferex) Post Video
• reconthuse - Blue Hole Sun (Soundgarden, Eiffel 65) (u/reconthuse) Post Video Remix.audio
• Ruinedmusic2000 - Zombies Are Never Getting Back Together (The Cranberries, Taylor Swift) (u/ABigFanOfBoth) Post Video
• Samuel's Mashups - Off With Her Tits x Borderline (Tove Lo, Allie X) (u/SamuelMashups) Post Video
• Sheena Vayle - Humbled in Tetris (Kendrick Lamar, Hirokazu Tanaka) (u/SheenaVayle) Post SoundCloud
• TKRMX - lost woods (Zelda Breath of the Wild OST, Nas, TKRMX) (u/TKRMX) Post Video
• Viclis - Born This Fortunate (Creedence Clearwater Revival, Lady Gaga) (u/Viclis) Post Video

Download links have base 64 encoding. Please use https://www.rapidtables.com/web/tools/base64-decode.html to decode the links.
WAV Download
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FLAC Download
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MP3 Download
aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZHJvcGJveC5jb20vc2NsL2ZpL3RiZGU1Zmp4aTU3YXp2N215ODZqby9UaGVCZXN0T2ZSTWFzaHVwc0phbjIwMjRfTVAzLnppcD9ybGtleT1xeGQ5M3poZXF3cTM3NzBvN2l6ZWFicWk0JmRsPTA=
ALAC/M4A Download (for ITunes Compatibility)
aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZHJvcGJveC5jb20vc2NsL2ZpL2tjZTBmaWR3c3F0NXc3emRiOGFjZC9UaGVCZXN0T2ZSTWFzaHVwc0phbjIwMjRfQUxBQy56aXA/cmxrZXk9bnJtd2RvZ2plZ21pOTd6MzczNTVvdmo5OSZkbD0w
Note: WAV, FLAC, and ALAC/M4A downloads are provided to preserve the quality of the original source in a more universal lossless format, not to improve them. YouTube, Reddit, and Soundcloud rips are clearly marked. The audio in the downloads comes from the original mashups (without quotes added for their corresponding music videos).
Please upvote this post for visibility in the community!
Feel free to leave any feedback and questions you may have. If there are any releases I missed that deserve to be mentioned, let me know and I'll try to add them. Enjoy the comp!

First
The Bounty Hunters
There is a deadly silence on the bridge of her ship as Divine Leader Thread’s brow furrows. What manner of horror resists attacks designed to scar worlds? Where had this abomination come from and why was it here?
There was also the concern as to the human bounty hunters wielding shield penetrating and Axiom resistant weapons that were capable of causing damage on such an absurd scale. She hadn’t missed the multiple kilometres high plume of sand or the fact that multiple cities were now reporting earthquakes. That attack had been felt thousands of kilometres away. If they turn that level of sheer force against a city... well... there will no longer be a city.
“Divine Leader Thread, we are receiving an update from The Chainbreaker. They’re shifting position so that they may engage in further attempts to kill the beast.”
“What’s their plan?” Thread asks.
“They are going to send the... Crimson Rain? A moment please, I am requesting clarification.” Her Communications Officer states and then lets out an interested sound. “They are inserting Crimsonhewers in full armour to deal with the creature at short range. They explain their reasoning in that no defence is perfect and if it is hardened against bombardment then surgical strikes are more likely to work.”
“Crimsonhewers used in a surgical strike? This is the first time I’ve heard of such a thing. Although considering the sheer scale of their opponent then even their horrifying blades are more akin to scalpels.” Divine Leader Thread remarks. “I do see the wisdom in their intent however. Prepare troop transports and get our teams ready! If the Crimsonhewers prove successful then we will reinforce them to bring a swifter end to the beast!”
“We are not leading this charge?” One of her subordinates asks.
“If The Chainbreaker wishes to be the tip of the spear then the honour is all theirs. Prudence and caution are equally valuable traits in a soldier as courage and ferocity.” Thread remarks. “Inform The Chainbreaker that we will be assisting in their attack and the honour of the first melee strike is theirs.”
•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•
“Oh that’s cute... hey girls! Apparently the honour of the first melee strike is ours!” Bike says over the comms as Vexa leads her fellow Crimsonhewers into the launch tubes. They secure themselves in in moments. It helps that the tubes have been specifically modified for them to use.
“Oh really? That’s nice of them, I suppose people get nice and cooperative when you go out to do something that scares the ever loving hell out of them first.” Vexa notes as a smile crosses her face. People say all kinds of hilarious things when trying to cover up their fear or awe. This one seemed to be a bit of both, it was almost like these Empire Girls had never fought against a seemingly unstoppable and unrelenting enemy before. Bad form that.
“So bright green blood, our armour is going to look all kinds of clashing after this.”
“Do remember you don’t HAVE to paint the armour the same colour as the blood. We’re the Crimsonhewers, not the Bilehewers. Hell, we don’t even have to paint our armour if the markings look stupid. We just can’t paint where we haven’t had blood.”
“That’s not fully traditional...” Someone mentions and Vexa scoffs.
“Yes, because there’s nothing more to our people than tradition. It’s why we only settle for good Cannidor men and nothing else.” The sarcasm in her voice causes a round of giggling.
“We’re going to be in range in ten seconds. Brace yourselves girls.” Bike informs them.
“Bongani could probably hang a Cannidor Man out to dry.” One of her sisters notes and Vexa nods.
“Oh probably. He tosses us around in our armour enough.”
“Honestly we’d have spread out among these Chainbreakers more, but we can still just barely keep up with one of them six on one.”
“We’d need an entire clan to keep proper pace. I mean, look at what they’re doing down below. An Airtruck against a monster that wears a fully functional warship? Good grief, are they trying to seduce us?”
“Maybe we should inform the nearest Crimsonhewer Enclave about this...”
“And have to compete with hundreds upon hundreds of our own sisters in battle for the attention of these men? The moment the rest of the galaxy learns for a fact that the rumours aren’t rumours...”
“It’s time! Launching!” Bike announces and there’s a wumph and each of them is covered by a halo of fire as they re-enter atmosphere with the tan and pale brown planet far below. Tiny traceries of green can be seen with the naked eye, and then their helmets highlight their target and zoom in.
“Well damn! That’s an UGLY one!”
“It’d probably look better disassembled.”
“Well then girls, time to make it nice and pretty. After all we Crimsonhewers know style if nothing else.” Vexa announces as she hits her jump jets and adjusts her flight downwards to the cheers and laughter of her fellows.
They form an arrowhead formation in the sky and accelerate downwards. The inertial dampeners and Axiom baffling tech rev up as high as they can go and they SLAM into the hull plating of the ship, just under the cannons and the creature SHIFTS and lets out a scream. It noticed them.
Then a blaze of Axiom infused ammunition crashes into the monster’s face from the truck and it forgets them to continue it’s chase.
Several cannons fire and Air Farce, being himself, casually dodges the massive blasts and in the craters are numerous burning hunks of slag and rapidly melting sand.
“Alright girls, time to get surgical!” One of her sisters cheers and Vexa whoops along with the rest as she draws her blade and rushes the nearest bit of flesh poking out. Which in this case is the base of one of the massive cannons that just took a shot at Air Farce, Scaly and the new girl Sallie.
The blade sinks in nice and easy and she wrenches it to the side. A splash of vomit green ichor sprays out and covers part of of her chestplate. She’s going to ignore that for later, it clashes badly with the typical blood red, which is a shame as green normally compliments it.
A bit more bladework and the tentacle at the base of the cannon has been badly damaged and is refusing to stop bleeding. So she sheathes her sword and then sinks her reinforced and empowered claws into the side of the cannon and begins to pull.
The groan of metal, the snapping of tendons, cracking of bone and the sweet sounds of muscles giving up and breaking is downright musical as she rips one of the cannons directly out of it’s mounting and sends it tumbling over the side of the monster to the desert sands below.
“That’s how it’s done!” She shouts and there’s cheers around her. She turns to check them and smiles to see that her sisters are working good and hard to make sure that when this monster lands it’s only going to be walking in circles, because they’re taking ALL the legs off one side and giving it a shave of all it’s smaller tentacles as it tries to protect itself and fails, badly.
An alert pops up in her helmet.
“Hey big girls, I know you’re having fun, but the playground is about to get a lot more crowded. You have Empire Reinforcements inbound. Try not to scare them off.” Bike says and an indicator shows where a quintet of troop transports are inbound.
“Alright, but tell our new playmates that this is a messy game. They’ve gotta be ready to clean some of the nastiest things imaginable out of their armour when this is done.”
“I’ll pass on the good news.” Bike replies and she chuckles.
The cannons above swivel to take aim at the oncomming transports, provoking an increased barrage of fire from Air Farce’s dinky little truck and for just a moment the cannons turn back to him before deciding that the oncoming transports are a larger threat. Vexa leads her girls towards the base of the cannons but something stops them. A force starts pushing them back and while there is the telltale sound and sensation of Axiom it’s something else. It’s focus is behind them and pulling rather than pushing. Vexa turns and brings her cannons online. She lets the pulling force aim the barrels and then unleashes twin bursts of plasma directly into whatever the hell is yanking at them.
The heat is outright devoured by the abomination and she and her sisters start to skid towards whatever’s pulling them despite the magnetic grips in their boots and the stability spikes they’ve stabbed into the deck plating. “Switch to Lasers! Melt whatever’s dragging us!”
A dozen beams of of pale pink energy lance towards the source, but it’s blocked by a shield. “Grenades!”
The spheres bounce and roll towards the source, a chunk of deck plating pops up to reveal a fanged maw that bites into the grenades before exploding with concussive force and shrapnel. The pulling force relents and they all stagger back to a normal posture. Whatever that was, it’s broken now. Possibly dead. Whatever the hell that mouth was.
“Bike, inform our friends to be careful when they land. This thing is full of surprises and damn near just got us.” Vexa sends.
“Sending it. Anything else?”
“Yeah... get a little more dodgy the cannons are getting faster. We’re going to see how many we can break but I promise nothing. The plating is popping open with all kinds of...” Vexa starts to explain before one of her girls jumps away from the deck plating suddenly launching out skewering spikes. “Nasty surprises, like the spikes Clara just dodged.”
“So the enemy is aware and actively fighting? I’ll let them know. It’s responses are all over the place though.”
“No kidding, hey by the way, what did Scaly see when he was grabbed by this thing?”
“Let me ask, I’ll be broadcasting it to everyone by the way. Including your new playmates.” Bike says.
“That’s just smart, ignorance in a fight is a good way to lose it.” Vexa replies.
•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•
Slithern’s eyebrow goes up as his communicator goes off. He decides to have some fun. “Hank’s Hearses, we get you there dead on time.”
“Nice. We’re landing forces on the beastie, you’re the closest we have to an inside man from the thing. So what’s the skinny? What’s in the house on top?” Bike asks.
“Oh so that’s why half the legs fell off and a cannon went away? It’s hard to make out even Cannidors on it at this distance.” Slithern says casually before clearing his throat. “Well, in the house is a single room, or I was pulled into a single room. I don’t know which. I stuck my smallest drone in there and got grabbed. The room I ended up in had eyes everywhere, they were alert, aware and watching me. Stuck near the back wall was a strange sort of tree that looks like three different people turned to wood and grew together while fighting in slow motion. They spoke maybe two words at a time before another cut them off. Things like Hate, Pain and Grief were said. The last thing it said to me was Flee Child. One of the voices, or maybe even all three, doesn’t like the idea of hurting children, and I count.”
“Anything else about it?”
“It was like being held in the hand of an angry god. That thing had total power in that room and I have no doubt that it controls the greater monster. What or who it was before I can’t say, but that thing is suffering. It’s having a miserable time.” Slithern says.
“So this is a mercy killing then? Damn. Anything else you can think of?”
“The drone I sent in was tiny. Smaller than even the tiniest trytite coin. They noticed it right away the moment it entered the house. I don’t think any amount of stealth will fool them.” Slithern says.
“Noted. I’ll pass it on, we’re going to get some eyes in the air to see if we can’t zoom in and get a good look at the controller of this creature. It’s clearly designed to retaliate to large scale attacks, but doesn’t have so thorough an answer to surgical strikes. If we can get Tang or J3 to snipe the brain it’ll be game over.”
“Right, if you can get me my enhancement jacket I’ll be able to control the drones with ease. I’ll give you full battlefield vision.”
“Sounds good. We’re sending a shuttle down that can fit the truck. Air Farce! If you can hear me you’re about to get an upgrade. We don’t know if that thing has FTL engines, but we’re going to make sure you do.”
“Make sure it’s one with kinetic weapons, this beastie ignores everything else and we’re still the bait.” Air Farce leans over to say.
“Read you loud and clear. We’re also loading it up with drones so Scaly can deploy them when and where he wants.”
“Nice.”
“Does this mean I get a bigger gun?” Sallie asks.
“Yep.”
“Nice.”
​
First Last Next

Hello aoe4,
I'm a new player who picked up AoE4 during the sale a short while ago. I played a lot of RTS growing up, including the original AoE, and also spent a lot of time playing ranked gameplay in Broodwar (ICCUP) and SC2 (WoL ladder). I haven't touched any RTS since around 2012 however, so its been fun shaking off the rust and learning a new game.
AoE4 feels both familiar and completely alien compared to my experiences with Starcraft and between game sessions I've been trying to find some resources to help me get on track. Sadly, it seems there isn't a lot of written material or discussion on AoE4 outside of (usually) pretty lengthy YouTube videos. I have been reviewing guides by people like Beasty and Demu and it has helped a bit, but some of the instruction goes above my head or seems too outdated to be useful.
If it's okay I'd like to ask a few questions directly here. Any help for some or all of the questions would be greatly appreciated! (For what its worth my skill level is basically rock bottom for AoE4; I placed in silver after placements and have dropped down to bronze so my game knowledge is pretty shallow. I have also been maining Japan.)
1) How useful is watching older guides? I know some games change pretty slowly so old guides stay relevant for awhile. With AoE4 it seems like there may have been some big changes? There's been multiple times where something said in one video is completely reversed on in a later one (ex: I watched a Rus video that talked about the Kremlin being useless and then 5 minutes later watched another video by the same author that talked about it needing to be nerfed).
2) Are there any good resources for learning the AoE4 specific basics? I know the basic RTS stuff like making workers, learning build orders, micro, queueing / shift clicking, scouting, etc. But I'm still unsure about things like how relics work, what bonuses sacred sites give, how certain stats work, etc.
3) I'm also looking for any relevant or up to date guides about the general pacing of the game. Starcraft was very much a timing based game from my experience, and while AoE4 seems more reactionary I'm sure there are still general timings that I should be aware of.
4) In pretty much all RTS ladders the first thing you need to learn is how to hold off rushing. This seems especially true in AoE4 (I'm guessing because the maps are so open? It seems like rushing happens more frequently than it did for me in SC). I've been able to hold off about half of these attempts but is there a reputable guide that maybe breaks down rushing (or if they're civ specific then one for Japan).
5) A specific question about Japan. What is the proper response to mass crossbows in the midgame? Most of my losses (outside of rushes) come from falling to mass xbows in early castle age. Based on the rock/papescissors system I guess it would be mounted samurai but it seems like the timing doesn't work out so I'm assuming there's a different composition that works.
6) Another Japan question. What does endgame Japan look like? There's lots of good guides on early game but I haven't found much discussion on what endgame Japan looks like and I'm curious to know what goals I should be aiming for in late castle / imperial age.
I'm also open to any general advice or being pointed towards resources you might have.
I'd also be happy to learn about any discord servers worth joining, especially if there are ones that welcome questions from new players.
Thanks in advance for any help.