"Ever since I woke up, ive been plagued by Questions, Not knowing Who or What i am."
"Yet as figured it all out, These People, They stood by me, Put Their faith in me."
"I know the Truth Brother, I was Forged in Pain and Chaos, My life was a Weapon"
"But ive become much more than That, Though Them, Though MY Choices"
"I Stood in the face of Annihilation and said "More"
"I am the Soldier of Fate, The Connection between Heaven and Hell!"
"I AM THE NEXUS!, HEHEAHAHHAHAHA"
In VP/MD canon this Final battle happens at the same time as the Pilot for MD
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyADNaIGBaI < Fitting music from another Awesome Robot thing :3

Round 1, Pick 13 - Brock Bowers, TE, Georgia:
NFL: This is the Raiders willing to adjust the offense to take the best player available. Bowers is a spectacular player who can line up anywhere along the formation as a tight end. There aren’t many holes in his game -- which should urge new OC Luke Getsy to get creative and get Bowers and Michael Mayer on the field together.
CBS Sports: C. He’s a heck of a player, but didn’t they draft Michael Mayer last year and signed Harrison Bryant this year? They have other needs. Don’t really like this pick that much. It’s not like he’s a good blocker for their run game. Strange pick with other needs.
ESPN: What a strange first-round selection, especially considering tight end was addressed last season with the second-round selection of Michael Mayer. Offensive tackle and cornerback were bigger needs. New general manager Tom Telesco must have simply relied on his draft board and gone best player available, especially with Oregon State RT Taliese Fuaga and every single CB still available. In fact, every defensive player was still on the board, and yet ... Bowers was considered a top-10 overall talent and should provide immediate production for an anemic offense.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Cries during Bluey but only at the opening credits.
Round 2, Pick 44 - Jackson Powers-Johnson, OG, Oregon:
NFL: Brock Bowers felt like a throwback Raiders pick to me, but JPJ really feels like an Al Davis classic. Powers-Johnson is a big, brawling interior lineman who played center last year but also can line up at guard -- the position he was announced at -- and bury the man opposite him, even if he's a little stiff and an average athlete.
CBS Sports: A. Instant starter inside. Guard size with mobile center feet. Shorter arms and some rawness in pass pro. But upside is through the roof. All-Pro caliber in that regard. Smart pick here.
ESPN: While Powers-Johnson played center at Oregon, the Raiders announced him as a guard, which makes sense since Las Vegas needs a right guard. Yes, even after the Raiders signed veteran Cody Whitehair in free agency. Powers-Johnson has started games at both guard spots and center in his college career. Last season, he started 13 games at center, was an All-America selection and won the Rimington Award as the nation's top center. He provides quality versatility, which is highly valued on the Raiders' offensive line.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: He somehow still uses a functioning Windows phone.
Round 3, Pick 77 - DJ Glaze, OT, Maryland:
NFL: A left or right tackle with great length and so-so athleticism, Glaze was considered a question mark because of some past injuries (including an ACL), but the Raiders clearly feel good about him here. He's likely a swing tackle to start out but could compete for a starting job down the line.
CBS Sports: A-. One of the more calculated OTs in the class. Rarely panics and has plus awareness. Requisite size and length to stay on the edge in the NFL. Athleticism is at times great but not a true speciality. Nothing overly standout about his game. Just high floor blocker.
ESPN: After taking a versatile interior offensive lineman in the second round in Powers-Johnson, the Raiders used their third-round pick to grab a college tackle who could also transition inside to guard in Glaze. The selection shows how much the new regime of GM Tom Telesco and coach Antonio Pierce value versatility on the offensive line, which is all but set on the left side and at center. Glaze has a long wingspan at nearly seven feet but is not known for being overly physical.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Prefers the arrows on the keyboard over WASD.
Round 4, Pick 112 - Decamerion Richardson, CB, Mississippi State:
NFL: I joked on Day 2 that the Raiders are having another Al Davis-flecked draft, and Richardson keeps the theme rolling. He's a straight-line speed demon with great length, two very encouraging traits. But his penchant for handsy coverage and no real track record for playmaking mutes his appeal just a bit.
CBS Sports: A-. Long, sleek burner who will make plays on the football when he trusts his eyes. Lacks physicality at times and that hurts him when attempting to stop the run although when he gets to the football, he’s a very sure tackler. Smooth athlete in off-man and zone. This secondary needed this type of CB specimen.
ESPN: The Raiders finally address their defense at defensive back in particular, with Richardson who is 6-foot-2 and ran the 40 in 4.34 seconds. He needs development but did lead Mississippi State with 7 pass breakups last season, even as he never had an interception. He's also not afraid to stick his nose in the scrum as he had a combined 164 tackles the last two seasons.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Thinks scotch tape smells like Christmas.
Round 5, Pick 148 - Tommy Eichenberg, LB, Ohio State:
NFL: Instinctive, throwback linebacker who lacks great speed. Eichenberg has the makeup to turn into a defensive tone-setter, even if his coverage ability is limited.
CBS Sports: A-. Ultra-active middle linebacker with a blitzing specialty. Smooth athlete a bit quicker than fast. Awareness is good in coverage, he will find crossers and understand in-breakers are working behind him. Strong tackler. Lack of speed and at times problems vs. blocks are weaknesses but this is a sound football player.
ESPN: Coach Pierce, who spent nine years as an NFL linebacker, gets his guy in the 6-foot-2, 233-pound Eichenberg, who provides depth while translating into a backup for Robert Spillane. Eichenberg did miss three games with an arm injury last season, a year after he was second-team All-American. More a thumper inside than a pass-coverage specialist, Eichenberg had 82 tackles (2.5 for a loss), a sack and a forced fumble in 10 games last season.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Played the role of background tree in his middle school play.
Round 6, Pick 208 - Dylan Laube, RB, New Hampshire:
NFL: Laube become something of a folk hero at the Senior Bowl, charming fans with his personality, elusiveness and pass-catching prowess. He had 295 yards receiving against Central Michigan alone this year and legitimately could emerge as a third-down weapon in the pass game.
CBS Sports: A-. Insane receiving RB. Built low to the ground and had fine testing figures before the draft. Low, side to side wiggle but lacks speed once he finds space. Contact balance is good too. Think the small-school Blake Corum.
ESPN: An FCS All-American all-purpose player, Laube projects more as a potential kick and punt returner in the NFL rather than a rotational running back. He averaged 31.1 yards on kick returns and 11.3 yards on punt returns and had a touchdown on each. He rushed for 749 yards and nine TDs, averaging 4.7 yards per carry last season, and also had 68 catches for 699 yards with seven receiving scores, including a 295-receiving yards game against Central Michigan.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Once wrote 250+ fake true facts for nfl draft cards like a moron.
Round 7, Pick 223 - Trey Taylor, S, Air Force:
NFL: Air Force has landed a few players in the draft the past few years after a long absence, and Taylor could make it either as a box safety or a special teams contributor.
CBS Sports: A. Thick, productive three-level safety best being closer to the line. Plays with controlled athleticism. Gets grabby against better athletes but that’s expected for a larger safety. Solid ball skills. Not ultra twitchy. Smart well-rounded type.
ESPN: The first-ever defensive back drafted out of the Air Force Academy, Taylor won the Jim Thorpe Award as the nation's top defensive back. He figures to provide immediate depth behind starters Marcus Epps and Tre’von Moehrig, but at 6-feet, 213 pounds, he has the size and instincts to be an immediate contributor. Taylor, whose cousin is Hall of Fame safety Ed Reed, had three interceptions, one pick-six, 74 tackles, five for a loss, four PBUs and a blocked kick last fall.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Yes, you reading this COULD have come up with better Facts.
Round 7, Pick 229 - MJ Devonshire, CB, Pittsburgh:
NFL: Devonshire is a fast, tough competitor with size limitations. He was never a full-time starter in college but had strong ball production the past two years.
CBS Sports: B+. Long CB who has the frame of a nickel. Fast, decently explosive athlete. Best in press man near the line. Average to slightly above-average ball skills. Zone awareness not there yet. High floor type.
ESPN: The Raiders concluded their draft by taking their second cornerback of the day in Devonshire, who is more a physical defender who does not shy away from bump-and-run coverage than a speedy DB, though he did run a 4.45 40. The 5-foot-11, 186-pound Devonshire led Pitt with four interceptions last season, including a pick-six, and had 10 PBUs in 12 games with nine starts. Las Vegas split their eight draft picks evenly between offense (TE, G, OT, RB) and defense (two CBs, S, LB).
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Likes bologna on white bread with mustard - it’s a flat hotdog!

In kindergarten (sorry I'm from singapore so we follow British but if im not wrong its like 5-6 years old) I already accepted Christ into my life. But my mom is a "I hate Christians!!" kind of person so I didnt dare to tell her anything. I didn't really have a good relationship with my mom cos to her studies are everything and she made me (until now) think that I'm never good enough. And I was only in primary school thinking my mom doesn't like me. I'm worthless, I want to kms. I made plans to grab the knife from the kitchen, jump off and things like that. Eventually I resulted to scratching my own skin cos I feel most pain when it's right at the nerve uk.
My whole life was until the end of primary school (12) was only to do things to make my mom happy. I wouldn't mention a word about Christianity to her. And when my mom was out at night, me, my dad and my sisters would worship. The moment the door opens, I scramble into the room. This also make me walk far from God and I would curse, swear and stuff. One day in P6, the last year of primary school (12 years old) I thought "Hey, I'm Christian so why am I swearing? Isn't this a sin?" So I stopped cursing. Of course, my mom wouldn't want me going around cursing but I didn't really do it for her, but rather for God. But I still didn't want to tell her about it.
When I graduated from Primary school, in Secondary (Sec) school, I finally got to bring my phone to school (13 years old), but my mom still could track me. Anyways I got to listen to some worship songs my dad sent to me and because I didn't have a music player downloaded and wasn't allowed to download any apps, I would listen through the WhatsApp audio player thing😭😭 on the way home. Usually on Sundays whene my mom isn't home,my dad would bring me to church. Then of course my mom would find out and scold me and this continued until sec 2 (14).
In Sec 3 (15 years old), I had whole control of my phone so I would listen to worship music on the way home. One day in, my dad brought me to church. My mom saw my location and immediately got mad because she knew where my dad's church is and also because my older sister attends service too and my mom was not happy. Since then, I was afraid to go to church. My mom even cornered me one day and made me promise not to go to church or I can forget calling her my mom. I kept crying that night and never dared to go to church (mind that i dont even cry often).
But towards mid year(?) I just decided ok Imma go to church. She can get angry but it won't really stop me. Because I got to know God through worship songs and now I wanted to know him more.
I regularly started praying in the morning on the way to school. Eventually my prayers became a ritual and dry. I felt no emotion and no pull towards God. Only on days when I was really upset/angry then I would feel Him comforting me. One day I really wanted to be the captain in my CCA (it's like after school activities but still part of school programs) and I didn't get it. I was so upset I cried on the way home because I actually put in so much effort into it. Then I became vice captain so ig that counts.
Anyways I became really upset and got frustrated because I didn't prove myself enough. I had so low expectations of myself, got depressed again, but I couldn't vent it out because I couldn't hurt myself anymore after learning my body is a temple of God. So I got super frustrated. I prayed for guidance decided to free up my Saturdays I went to church. Youth services for Secondary school students were on Saturdays and not Sundays so yeah. Towards like October last year I cleared up my Saturdays so I could go more regularly to church, and my mom was defo not happy AT ALL that I went with my own initiative. She ignored me for several weeks and of course I felt lonely and all buy eventually I felt okay because she doesn't even know me sooooo.
I'm still trying to patch up my relationship with her. Honestly, it's so strained I don't know what to do. I've prayed that she would accept Christ everyday but uhh nothing. This doesn't mean I don't believe in God if not this would not exist
One day I was fellowshipping with my dad. Why we did that is because of a long story that would be saved for another day.
But this is the part where it's important
Previously I had dreams and I shared with my dad because he is more experience in deciphering gifts and stuff (I'm sorry if you don't believe in gifts but I do!) And he told me to pray about it because I somehow knew these dreams had meaning and relation to God. A number of dreams had direct inference to God. I did pray about it, and also asked God along these lines; "God, give me guidance. I have strayed and I know. Lord please let me understand, and let me also be close to You. I want to know You, and I know, I haven't read the word. Lord, motivate me to read the scripture, and while reading let me also understand the dreams I have been having my whole life."
I can't remember what I said exactly. The one 9f the church sermons on one week talked about how God is not far, but we are far. And I felt that that was for me. Then one day my dad said to me and my older sister "I don't care you have to download the Bible rn" so I downloaded it but did nothing with it. Finally, one day I was late for work (yes I worked when I was 15 because I actually want an electric guitar) and it was New Year's Eve. My colleague texted me saying she'd pick me up and I said and quote "Isokkk I walk over" (me) ... "Give me your block" (colleague) "Omd tyyy" (me)
Part of me didn't want her to fetch me because it would be troubling her. But I don't know why I waited and was thinking "bruh I could've reached by now but she's late" but I just waited. I was wearing full white that day. And this woman must've thought I was going to church because it was a Sunday morning.
And she asked "Hello, are you going to church?"
I said "oh no no, I have church at night because it's countdown service. (basically the youth services brought our church service from Saturday 4pm to Sunday 8pm because we wanted to countdown service together)"
She said," Oh! So you're Christian! Do you read the Word often?"
I blushed because so many signs and I haven't read a single word. "No," I was so embarrassed
She continued "I used to be a teacher, a lecturer in a University (if im not wrong) There is a website called 7 minutes with God. It was originally created for Harvard students because they were busy and didn't have time to spend time with God." Then I couldn't hear what she said because she was talking so fast. All I knew was she was summarizing the website and encouraged me to read it.
I read it like on January 2nd this year on the way to school ( I'm 16 this year!!! But not 16 yet because as I said, it's not my birthday yet or anytime soon)
I was so inspired that I kept on reading the Word and devoted mornings to not only prayers (that I allowed God to guide me and not just pray for the sake of praying) but also for reading the Word!
See, when I prayed to have motivation to read the Word more, God gave me the sign THREE TIMES which I did not pick up until the 3rd sign, the lady. The first time during the sermon I was like "Yes God, I will do it!" but did nothing. The second time when my dad asked me to download the app version of the Bible, I said "Yes God, this is the sign!" and did not do anything. I got discouraged because my dad thinks I'm funny and wouldn't take my words seriously omd 😭. But the third time, God literally sent a random woman I don't know and told me to read. And I read, praise God!
this is the part where it relates to the meme
Because when I went to the shower I kept laughing because I thought of this meme. I didn't read the word or get touched because it was a coincidence. So coincidence? I think not! It's a miracle ❤️❤️❤️
I finished Mark and the New Testament, I'm currently at John right now.
Just now, after a meeting with my cell group (a small group for easier prayers etc in church), I was listening to worship music, and my grumpy dad was like "GO AND SHOWER" liek chill brou. So I went to the toilet with my headphones on and sat on the floor and just continued listening to worship music. Then my dad sent in the family group chat (just me, my older sister and him, my mom got mad and left) an article about this man called Patrick Lee/Bezalel. He is a local artist faithful in Christ
But reading halfway I kept crying because I was so touched (again I do no lt cry, but I related so much I cried even though nothing had to do with me, but it was like my mother's story where she had a hard of stone towards God) and then my phone went flat 😐 So I risked it and ran out to get my charger but thank God (like actually) my dad didn't scream like he would. Then I sat at the toilet floor and continued reading. Tears kept flowing down my face because Patrick Bezalel's story was such a miracle, and God kept giving him signs that God existed! And removed the layer of stone that surrounded the man's heart and made it soft and open to God again!
After that I continued worshipping God and was listening to worship music (yes in the toilet because I literally have 0 privacy because none of my parents think I need it). I kept crying because the songs were so related. Can you imagine? It went in this order:
1.Presence,Power,Glory 2.Hosanna 3.Promises 4.Holy Forever
Again, coincidence? I THINK NOT. It was so planned, like it was in my playlist for so long and I haven't really thought much about it. Tears kept streaming down and kept going and through sobs I silently prayed to God
"Oh my dear God you have been so so good to me, and so faithful to me Lord. You have guided me, guided my heart and nothing has gone wrong in Your hands Lord. I've been through the turning point I've prayed for. You have sent people, songs and my family members to come after me to open up to You Lord. Lord, I was having a CG (cell group) meeting and something just touched my heart. I am now sitting on the toilet floor and typing this, because Lord you have made a way to touch my heart, guide me through a prayer that came deep down from inside of me Lord, thank You for providing. Thank You God for the miracles You have did in my life, and all that I prayed for has came through Lord. The turning point I prayed for was when that lady had spoken to me about how to set aside time for You and the Word. Lord let me not forget this incident, this turning point, this miracle Lord. Let me put my trust in You Lord, and let You take my hand and let my life be walking next to You faithfully Lord. Lord I pray that I would not waver, and I would not take my eyes away from You. Even when I am crossing and walking toward You on water in the sea, let my eyes be on You, and the works You have done for me, and not be distracted by the worls around me, but to keep my eyes on You diligently Lord. Lord, I am a sinner, and now, I was, for You have sent Jesus Christ, Your Son, to die on the cross for me. Lord, I believe in You and I want to accept You in my life Lord, no matter what situation I am in. Lord, let people around me see Your love, joy, and faithfulness in me, and not let them see the girl I was before. Let them see change, and the love and desire I have for You, Lord. Let them see Your greatness, Your goodness and You. I thank You for everything You have done, and in Jesus's name, I pray that I will walk faithfully alongside You, and will not fail to continuously pray and worship You God. Thank You Lord for the miracles, for this turning point. Thank You God for guiding me, and let me be the branch that bears fruit, and let me be the branch that has life only through Jesus, Who is the vine, Who the reason I live Lord, Who is the reason I have life. Praise the Lord! Amen!"
This is the first time I prayed for so long and every one word was truly from deep down fron the depths of my heart. I couldn't stop crying. I really couldn't and I can't emphasize more that I don't cry often! Either it hurt me so much or that God moved my heart. This time was tears of joy.
I hope this could inspire someone out there, because in another prayer I prayed for those who needed God, even if I didn't know them.
Pray. Pray and ask God to help you seek Him. One thing I learnt from a sermon is the fervency in your prayers. I didn't mean to add this in but I suddenly saw this note I wrote on 25th February.
Title: fervency in prayer Fervency: being excited about something keen on something
At the heart of revival is the spirit of prayer • pray fervently • pray with faith
"But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed"
To be fervent in prayer is to pray tenaciously despite our struggles
Hopefully this helped someone out there, inspired you and is one of your signs to start giving your life to Him! It is actually proven 1 in 3 people are Christians. Isn't our goal to have this faith to reach all four corners of the world? It could sound impossible in the past, but now there is social media, anyone could read and realize "Hey God is actually with me!"

I have been legit with my AP, and separated/divorced from my ex-spouse for about a year. We have been long distance throughout this time (more like medium distance). I am finally about to pack up and move to be with my partner. I am incredibly happy about this chapter of our relationship. I've never experienced love like we have. But there is a sad finality in moving out of the space and city I shared with my ex-spouse. I think about all the dreams we shared when we were in our early stages of dating, or all the places around town I thought we would explore together. And then I think about how it all fell apart. There is sadness and resentment, and while there is joy in knowing I am stepping into a new stage in life, the growing pains are strong during this time.
I don't really know where I was going with this. It's weird being a human and experiencing these kind of conflicting emotions at the same time.

I have no one in my life I really feel I want to share this with at the moment but I am in awe of this whole awakening situation and need to talk about it
The whole full on bliss stage is over for me (only got two weeks lol but it’s all good), but what really stuck was this strong feeling of trusting the universe (I don’t like calling it god, that doesn’t feel good to me due to past religious issues).
I decided for me, what mattered at the present moment was approaching everything and everyone with the maximum loving kindness I could muster. And that truly hasn’t been me in the past at all. I’m not saying I haven’t slipped up from time to time but I’ve been doing pretty darn well.
And it’s amazing what work is occurring in my life. All of these loving people from my past are reappearing out of absolutely nowhere like literally moving states away to practically my backyard all in convergence. People I never thought I’d see again are suddenly wanting to see me and inviting me out when I was practically friendless for years and years; I thought they didn’t give a shit. People are coming to me with problems like I am somehow able to help and maybe I am but I feel like a complete newb lol like ignorant af I know nothing. People currently in my life are just showing me so much love. I even feel love from people on Reddit and such. And it’s so easy to love them back like unconditionally. I just want to make people feel loved, even the angry and suffering people, especially them. Who were like me. I love them all. That’s all that matters. It’s obvious we are all one
I’m overwhelmed, I am just crying a lot because I can’t believe something like this is happening to me, it’s so amazing. I know that one day some terribly tragic things could happen and there are actually some sad things going on with some loved ones but the feeling of love is so strong. And my life circumstances aren’t even really that different from what was going on during all the suffering.
I am so joyful that I get to experience awakening and all of this, that I get to be a person that somehow chose this path instead of staying unawake/asleep and staying so miserable. That I get to see the unfiltered reality for what it is, and experience true unconditional love the way it can really be experienced at its best. And that I get to choose to help other people wake up too, that I get to learn how to do that every day and dedicate my life to it if I want to and help others leave suffering behind, too. And especially so grateful to the people who had a hand in waking me up. So much gratitude and love to them every day. I am so fortunate and loved.
I don’t even know exactly HOW I chose it because I feel like it was kind of forced on me except I do know that I chose LOVE when it was really really really scary and hard and painful and against all my instincts. And this feels like a reward, like love really is the answer and there really is a being out there letting me know that morality exists and doing the right thing matters even if it’s just to make life more exciting and amusing and satisfying. And I can choose to do the right thing and be a good person every time and no one can stop me even if pain comes - I have the full knowledge and autonomy to do that forever, at least in this physical form, and I can help people every day if I want, or read interesting things, or just do whatever! Cry if I want, I guess! Nothing can fuck me up! I can figure it out no matter what. It’s all a learning opportunity and I get to be a student for life, just like I always wanted 🥲
I finally have something to be proud of myself for, I did a hard thing instead of just letting life happen to me. And it mattered. And my life is perfect the way it is and I don’t have to do anything different to have a purpose or achieve. It’s all good! Maybe I will never actually be able to tell anyone I know this but it is what it is. I’m free to be a loving and happy person and no one can ever stop me again!

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Detailed Product Review

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More misery bird? More misery bird. Really miserymaxxing with these fics I have going, but hey, this one is not that miserable actually! Krekos is back and ready to be dense and downcast, but maybe not quite miserable? Read and see!
Big thank you to NoP community for being great and supportive of my endeavors!
Also, obviously, big thanks to SpacePaladin15 for creating this universe and allowing fanfiction well to flow free!
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Memory transcription subject: Krekos, Krakotl Refugee
Date [standardized human time]: May 6th, 2137
I stare at the foul creature before me. Normally staring at something directly head on like that would be too predatory for me to do, but after nearly dying of bread yesterday, I didn’t feel patient enough to be gentle. The creature stared right back, though in a much more natural, prey-like way, tilting its head slightly as it looked back at me with one eye and let out a long bwok.
“Are you doing this now? Really?”, I ask, knowing full well it cannot respond.
Well, it can, if another bwok it made is any indication. Of course, translators aren’t yet advanced enough to translate non-sapient speech, but the intention behind sound is intuitively clear. It’s telling me to back off. Well, I tried the diplomatic approach at least.
Raising my wing I begin sliding the bird out of its nest, careful to keep any delicate joints out of its reach. It started clucking in upset indignation, struggling back and even trying to peck at me, but after realizing that I will not relent, it hopped out of the box and rushed out of the cattle house, revealing a single dead egg in the nesting box.
With relief, I finally pick up the last egg and head back to leave them at the house. Turns out that while Reginald didn’t forget to both lock them up yesterday and let them out today, he did neglect feeding them both times, as well as collecting the harvest. So when I was driven back here in early morning, the first thing I did was making sure they were taken care of. I can’t say the horrid birds looked in any way hungry, but the moment I poured the feeding grain for them, they attacked it with more viciousness than I’d expect of an actual predator. And yet only thirteen were present at the feeding, as the one that’s usually the target of flock’s ire remained in the cattle house yet again, Reginald leaving it to it, being unaware of its undesirable habit of trying to hatch dead eggs.
With eggs delivered, I flew my way to my usual spot atop the cattle house and could finally relax. The loner beast first made its way to feast on the scraps of the grain that other birds already all have had their fill of, so I wasn’t too concerned. Instead I tried to reflect on the morning I had so far.
Waking up at the hospital did make me momentarily panic before I remembered the precluding events. Not that I could properly panic, feeling the most starved I’ve been my whole life, and too weak to try flying out of the window. Thankfully, the breakfast they provided was actually well made with krakotl needs in mind, algae soup alongside a few slices of bread, this time without any horrid human ideas like putting eggs in there. Eggs! Turns out they put eggs in some kinds of bread! That’s how I got sick! Eggs! The thought of what I consumed even now made me queasy, and it definitely made breakfast a much less appetizing affair than it would have been without that knowledge, but back then the hunger won over the disgust.
Lena did keep her promise and came to pick me up extra early. Her being a staff member at the hospital gave her some extra privilege, I assume, hence why I was released without any forms needing to be filled out personally. She did have important business today too, which probably explained the earlyness and urgency of her driving me back to her house.
That did not mean I escaped her ire, however. While I couldn’t pinpoint anything to identify the man, as Bob was apparently a common name, that offered me bread, we did come to understanding that he was likely either unaware of the nutritional contents of it, or of extent to which the Cure-induced allergy would be affecting a krakotl. Yet, Lena seemed much angrier at me for failing to take any precautions. Turns out that was the purpose of medicinal injectors, epipens as humans call them, that were provided to me. I was supposed to have them on me in case I accidentally ingested contaminated food. Nobody told me that, I was just handed them back when I first received the necessities at the refugee camp and I had no clue what they were for. Then she also berated me for eating random food from strangers and ignoring bad flavors. Turns out that brioche bread isn’t actually bitter at all, and that was my body reacting to an allergen in it. Reaction that I unwisely elected to ignore, to further ire of my host. By the end, several new rules of my stay here were made, including not eating things I don’t know and always having at least one epipen on me. Thankfully, these rules would be ones I’d start following even without them being established, so I won’t have to concern myself with being kicked out over accidentally breaking them.
As if following the rules will be enough to make them like you.
Trying to distract myself from thoughts of yesterday’s incident, I focused my attention on the flock. All birds accounted for, so at least I knew that my absence did not result in the predator coming to snatch one of them. I do not wish to insult my hosts, but Reginald is far from most attentive people in matters unrelated to his job, and I am not sure the birds were watched at all while I was out. Speaking of, my scannings of surrounding treelines revealed no sign of the predator today. Perhaps it departed to hunt elsewhere, or maybe it ventured too close to a more populated area and exterminators dealt with it.
Actually, did human exterminators work similar to Federation ones? I knew for a fact they had them, although they seemed like a market of private organizations if advertisements are anything to judge by. Still, what methods do they use? I know humans oppose fire, and do not believe in predatory taint, but surely they have measures to protect themselves? They are, by self-admission, far from the best natural predator, and I doubt Earth’s non-sapient predators would just leave humans be. Maybe I should call one of those human exterminator agencies and call them in to deal with that predator? I haven’t told Lena or Reginald about it, as I didn’t want to bother them, but it could pose a serious threat to the cattle, but maybe that’s the way I could resolve it without involving them?
I have not done nearly as much research into human culture and lifestyle as I should have, considering that I’ve lived on Earth for over half a year now, but the sheer width of the topic always overwhelmed me the moment I opened internet search app to the point where I just closed it right away.
And you expect to start studying again with that attitude? You’ll flunk out even from this primitive predator education course.
Extra loud call from the flock made me refocus my attention on them, but it was nothing. Just the loner getting pecked extra hard and lashing out against assailants, causing a small aimless stampede as all the birds ran around in circles, puffing up at one another. The assailants now looked a lot more like victims. I could understand those birds more than I could humans at least. The loner bird is clearly an odd one out. It’s the only one repeatedly trying to hatch unfertilized eggs it lays, and it seems to always avoid the rest of the flock. Humans may deny the existence of Predator Disease, but they can’t deny that prey and predator both can and will sometimes behave in unnatural ways that may threaten the herd's safety. Or pack’s, in case of humans. Birds must know on instinctual level that the loner’s behavior is unnatural and are attempting to combat the Predator Disease on instinctual level. And since that is natural, I still will not interfere in this, unless the loner bird actually becomes a threat to others or will start getting too injured. The first time I attempted to pick one of the birds up was the only time for a good reason, as I have learned their viciousness all too well.
DING-DING
The sudden loud ring startled me enough that I nearly tumbled off the roof. Who would be coming over now? Lena and Reginald have left together and shouldn’t be back until afternoon, and they’d never use the bell. That means someone must be here for them. But wouldn’t they warn anyone to not come over? Especially with their plans for today.
With nobody to answer these questions, I had no choice but to go and discover the answer myself, flying up and over the house, towards the entrance gate. The moment I passed the house roof, I already saw a familiar silhouette. It was the human child from a few days ago.
Thankfully, Lena’s insistence on me carrying an epipen at all times meant I also carried my satchel at all times too, so I didn’t have to go grabbing my holopad, and took it out. But before I could even launch the translator TTS app to type out a greeting, the child was already hopping in place with excitement.
“Mr. Krekos! Hi! I came over to visit!”, she exclaimed, showing off her teeth in an unnerving expression of human joy. I simply tried to avoid that and focused on the pad, typing out my response.
“Hello, Rosie. Why are you here?”
The question was genuine, as the child was not carrying any more of that honey substance from last time.
“I just came over to visit you! Is that okay? Are Mr. and Ms. Vince okay with it?”
Visit... me? Why? While I was confused, I did instinctively type out a reply.
“They did tell me visitors are allowed as long as there’s no trouble when I first moved in.”
And before I could type a followup message asking her why she’s here, she already let out a joyous roar and ran past me.
“Can I see the chickens?”, she asked, and not waiting for an answer, rushed past the house and towards the cattle yard.
“Wait! You’ll scare them!”, I yell after her, but of course without a translator she can’t understand me as she runs like she already knows where to go.
And indeed she has, quickly rushing up to the open field where the birds were grazing. Thankfully she didn’t start chasing them, instead just approaching the flock from a distance and swaying in place, watching them with what I assume was some sort of predatory excitement at the sight of prey. Maybe that’s where the contained hunting instinct of human children showed themselves? In chasing small birds? I was still more subdued, considering she stopped shy of causing a small stampede, but still.
“Grandpa used to take me with him! He helped watch this farm until Mr. and Ms. Vince moved in. I like chickens! I think they’re cute.”, the child told me innocently as she kept swaying and watching as the beasts grazed upon insects of the pasture.
That revelation was... interesting. I suppose it makes sense that between the original owner of this land dying in the bombings and Lena and Reginald moving in, it would be unattended. With nobody to feed and watch over those things, they would be long dead for sure. And it was Rosie’s grandfather... Speaking of. I typed out my words.
“Does your grandfather know you’re here?”
She seemed to get a weird look as she stopped her excited swaying, fiddling with her hands instead. Looks like I asked the correct question.
“...he knows I am out visiting neighbors.”
That did not answer my question. I squinted at the human child, and she dipped her head as she continued.
“...he doesn’t know I’m here specifically. Or that an alien even lives here...”, she explained, her tone suddenly more sullen.
I couldn’t help but squint at that, and it appears that my expression was readable enough that even a human could see the suspicion, as she continued.
“I’m sorry... But if I told grandpa, he’d tell me I’m forbidden from talking to you, like he forbade me from talking to hedgehog people in town... But I want to talk to you! You’re nice and you’re a space bird!”
The child was actually working around the rules established by her guardian to come see me. I don’t know if I should be glad or concerned. Clearly, the man is anti-alien in his opinions, and I’d rather that kind of man not know about how close he lives to one. At the same time, I’d rather not encourage a child for lying to their guardian in order to meet a stranger they know they aren’t allowed to interact with... So I just took the middle path with my next message.
“I see. What did you want to talk to me about then?”, TTS speaks for me.
Her stiffened body language disappears, replaced again with earlier excitement.
“I wanna know more about space! And aliens! It’s all so cool but grandpa says it’s all dangerous because mom and dad died. But it’s not! The hedgehog people were nice, and you’re nice too!”
I wasn’t sure about that logic, but my self-preservation told me I shouldn’t try convincing her to go confessing. Instead I focused more on her chosen topic.
“I am not sure I am the best person to ask about space. I am not a scientist or traveler.”
“But you’re from there! You know way more than me. I don’t even know what you are called. And there’s gotta be cool things out in space!”
I let out a sigh. I suppose it’s childlike curiosity at its finest. So unfamiliar with mundane that it is a wonder. I remember being like that about becoming a doctor.
And then you let your teacher die.
I quickly tapped on the pad.
“Okay, I can answer questions, but I may not know everything.”
The noise that came out of the girl was like a squeal of a panicked dossur as she started hopping and spinning in place.
“Yes! Yes! Thank you, Mr. Krekos!” Sudden movement did cause me to recoil a bit, which in turn caused her to cease her happy flailing and adjust her little dress. “I dunno where to start though... Hm... What are you?”
...for all my trepidation about not knowing answers, I should have anticipated that the questions she asks will be rather age-appropriate and on the same level as we learn in our first school classes. At least I won’t disappoint her then.
“I am from a species called ‘krakotl’. We’re avians, as is obvious. Our home is...” dead, gone, reduced to glass and ash by our own hubris “...was Nishtal. A beautiful planet...”
Thankfully she did not question my hesitant pause. Instead she just nodded along.
“What about the hedgehog people? I already know venlil, but they’re the only ones I know name of.”
Hedgehog people in town she mentioned earlier. The only species I could think of that could be seen there would be the gojid. I have no clue what hedgehogs are, but probably some creature with visible similarity to them.
“They are called ‘gojid’, and they’re from gojid Cradle. Both of our species are... well, used to be known for our might and protecting other species of Federation.”
I am not sure if that’s something to brag about, considering... everything. But I didn’t want this child to get brought down with depressing regrets of our species. Let her know something nicer instead. She clearly lost a lot, but there’s still joy left in her. I wouldn’t want to be the one to ruin that.
“Cool! What about other people? I wanna know more!”
And so I went on, telling her about various species, although I mostly focused on ones in this new human-led union, only mentioning kolshians and farsul beyond that. It’s weird explaining to a child what a tilfish or a harchen looks like, but thankfully my holopad isn’t just a method of communicating with implant-less children. With access to interstellar web, I could easily pull up pictures of various alien species to show to her, even if she struggled to believe that some of them were even sapient purely based off of looks. With how varied species in Federation are, and how some of us admittedly aren’t too far physiologically from our more primal ancestors.
Among other topics, she asked me to tell her interesting things, which I didn’t know much of. I told her about Venlil Prime’s tidally locked status, a rarity among habitable planets, much less homeworlds for species. I told her about the unique architecture of Mileau, designed to accommodate both species of regular size and dossur themselves. I told her about Colia medical academies, some of the most beautiful medical facilities in the galaxy.
I wish I was more well-travelled, but I just wasn’t. My whole life, I never left Nishtal until the extermination fleet took me despite my protests. That may have been what saved my life...
Not that I, of all people, deserved it...
“Hey! Stop that!”
I flinched as I heard the child yell, but quickly realized that it wasn’t directed at me. Instead, Rosie was rushing down towards the chicken flock, breaking up the fight in which the loner was being pecked by a few larger chickens. As the human child approached, the birds stopped their infighting and scattered in different directions, crowing in loud panic and discontent. On instinct, I found myself rushing towards the child, forgetting about translation entirely.
“What are you doing?! Don’t touch them!”
I didn’t want her to hurt the cattle accidentally, and I didn’t want her to get hurt by the angry birds in return. But, it seems like the moment the birds scattered, she was satisfied with her actions and turned back to me, wearing another one of her happy smiles.
“Sorry, Mr. Krekos, I just saw chickens being mean. Bad chickens.” She explained.
I was baffled. Why would she interfere like that? When I tried that back when I was just starting, that got me pecked! But with her, the birds just scattered. What if they pecked her?
I took the pad out again and started typing quickly.
“That was dangerous. Why did you do that? What if they attacked you? Why are you even interfering in their natural dynamics?”, questions flowed out of my pad with an artificial human voice.
The girl simply giggled.
“They’re chickens! They aren’t dangerous. They don’t peck that painful and I’ve been scratched worse before. And I have to stop it because bullying is wrong.”
Then she actually noticed that the one that was being attacked wandered close. She casually approached it from behind, the blind spot and just reached down and grabbed it, picking the bird up. I was ready to rush to help the bird when...
“Mwah! There, all better.”
She did a human ‘kiss’ on the back of the cattle bird’s neck before releasing it, the surprise of it causing it to rush off. I knew what kisses were, I’ve seen enough of them between Lena and Reginald, but I believed they were gestures of intimate affection, not... what was even that?
It seems Rosie noticed my confusion as she explained.
“You gotta kiss it so it heals better! That’s what mom taught me.” The child displayed that smile of hers shamelessly. With how much I was being exposed to it, it almost wasn’t unnerving anymore. Still, it was interesting to learn that kisses are seen as something that helps wounds. I guess some species do have saliva with mild antiseptic properties, wouldn’t be too out there to assume humans are the same. And if that’s the case, maybe that’s how the kissing tradition started? Exchange of protective fluid between lovers?
“I see. I did not know that.” I responded before letting my puffed feathers relax. Okay, this whole ‘watching a human child’ thing is turning out to somehow be even more stressful than I expected at first.
“Wait, Mr. Krekos, what time is it?” She suddenly asked, looking up at the sky.
“It’s nearly twelve.” I respond, holopad having a convenient clock for local time.
“Oh no! I need to be home soon! Was nice seeing you Mr. Krekos gotta go bye!”
Before I had even a chance at typing out an answer or my own goodbye, the child sprinted away and back towards the entrance. I had to take flight just to keep up, and even then she just turned around, waved her arm at me and then kept sprinting down the road after leaving the gate. I simply offered a small wave of a wing back before locking the gate again. I suppose it is hard to keep track of time without a device or clock nearby...
Well, at least I had the usual peace and quiet now. And learned a bit more about the creatures I was in charge of. I should really try to deal with my aversion to looking things up on the human internet...
Just as I was about to head back out towards the yard, I heard a loud car horn, a familiar one, getting my attention. Lena’s car. There they were, signaling me, probably having spotted me at the gate from afar. Deciding to make use of my presence here, and hoping to avoid needing to explain that I had a surprise visitor earlier, I went ahead and opened the large gate, allowing the car to enter.
Once it was parked in the usual space, the doors opened and three people came out. Lena and Reginald were both looking a bit disheveled, but their faces carried these smiles that seemed wider than ever before. And third person... Was a stranger. A human I knew of, but never actually met. As he exited the car, a large bag in one hand, he just stared at me, standing in the front yard...
“...okay, I expected many things when I was told you guys housed a refugee, but not this.”
Oh no. Oh no, he was not one of the ones that was willing to overlook an invader that partook in bombing of his planet being allowed to walk free, of course, Lena and Reginald were the weird ones like that, doesn’t mean their son won’t be... I felt the panic rising as I realized I’d need to return to the camp. Why was I upset about that? This was supposed to just have been a way to make money, but now I have a free education program. Do I need to stay? No, but... Why?! Why do I not want to leave?
“Ken, you said it’s going to be alright no matter what it is, right? Wanted us to keep it a surprise to meet a new friend?” Lena’s voice. She should have told him, that’d give me time to prepare why didn’t they give me time why.
“No, no problems, just, really surprised, that’s all... uh... hey, buddy, you okay? You’re really... trembly.”
He was approaching me, and instinct took over as I recoiled, before stuttering out my answer.
“I-I’m fine...”
...thankfully translators don’t translate voice cracks. I hope, at least...
“Hey, relax... I have no problem with you being a krakotl, I just didn’t think...” He looks over at Lena and Reginald. “Calm down... I can wear my visor if you want?”
Right. Those things humans use to hide their scary faces from us.
“I... I’m good...”
Why would it last? It almost felt good after all.
There was some emotion I struggled to read on the young human’s face, as he sighed and shook his head.
“I screwed this up, I’m sorry. Let... Let me try again.” He straightened out, and adjusted his clothing, before slowly approaching me and giving me a small smile, no teeth showing. “Hello. My name is Kenneth Vince and I'm son of Lena and Reginald Vince. I was told you’re a refugee they took in to help out. It’s nice to meet you. What’s your name?”
That... snapped me out of it. Right... He was... not upset at my existence. He was just very surprised that Lena and Reginald weren’t. That’s a reasonable thing to be surprised about, considering I was surprised about it to this day. I tried to compose myself as I responded.
“My name is Krekos. I live here as... hired help with the cattle. It’s... nice to meet you?”
The smile on Kenneth’s face widens, though he still refrains from showing his teeth. Instead, he extends a hand towards me. A handshake is a human gesture that I found far from comfortable, but I didn’t want to give him a reason to change his mind on acceptability of my existence, so I took it with a wingclaw. He gently took it and held for a few seconds before letting go and sighing again, turning to his parents.
“You know, I always thought you guys would be empty nesters, but I never thought it’d be that literal.”
That got all three of them laughing, as I just tilted my head in confusion. I was fairly sure there were no empty nests in the house until after I adjusted the attic room for my own accommodations. Still, I took the laughter as a sign that the tense moment had fully passed and let my ruffled feathers slowly rest.
“Let’s head inside. Krekos, we’re having dinner, you’re welcome to join us.” Reginald said, picking up Kenneth’s bag. I tilted my head a little and he followed up with elaboration. “We will be having meat... But there’s still going to be stuff you can eat too. It’s a celebration, so I prepared a bit of everything.”
“Dad, you shouldn’t have!” Kenneth responded with embarrassment.
“None of that! Our son returned from the war, alive and a hero, and we can have a celebration. Krekos, I know you’re still... uncertain about meat so you don’t—”
“I’ll join.”
Wait, who said that? And why did they say that in my voice?
Wait, that was me. Why did I say that?
“That’s great to hear! I’ve got some nice steamed broccoli and some vegetarian fried rice as sides that you’ll enjoy!” Reginald smiled at me and I felt myself shrinking into my feathers. That the humans didn’t notice at least, proceeding into the house instead.
Well, looks like I signed my warrant. At least my bag and my epipen were on me in case something at the table triggers the allergy again. Would be rather unfortunate to have it happen two days in a row.
And that’s how, in just ten or so minutes, I found myself sitting at the dining perch, while humans took seats in chairs, all consuming chunks of roasted flesh and somehow managing to also stuff pieces of equally roasted plants in, and converse with one another. You wouldn’t be able to tell on first look, but despite their mouths being relatively small, especially for a predator, it seems they compensate for it by having those be near bottomless in both hunger and small talk.
I am not sure how I managed to shift my focus away from them consuming animal matter in front of me, however vat grown it might have been, and onto their conversation instead, but I succeeded. I suppose that was just part of me going native around predators. Soon, I’ll be the one feasting along with them before I know it, and snacking on those epipens to not die of it.
Like you could ever be on the same level as humans.
“So, Fahl? That’s where you were sent after the Battle of Earth?” Lena asked.
“Yeah. From what I heard, we got a light posting compared to guys at Sillis or Mileau. The most I had to deal with was some exterminator insurgents.”
That’s right. Since harchen participated in the Extermination Fleet, they were one of those who were occupied by humans during the war. It makes sense that there was at least some ground resistance.
“Honestly, the worst thing out there was the heat. Not the flamethrower kind, the climate. The place was so damn dry and hot. At least exterminators you could subdue or evade. Not so much with the scorching sun!”
I couldn’t resist a small chuckle at the idea of a predator being more afraid of hot weather than flamethrowers as I slowly pecked at the vegetables on my plate. Thankfully it was set far enough aside from any meat dishes that no contamination should occur, but I was still examining pieces before putting them in my mouth just in case.
Seems like reacting was a mistake though, as that brought Kenneth’s attention onto me. He finished chewing latest piece of flesh and pointed a fork at me.
“So, Krekos... Where are you from? Cradle was my guess, but I do know there were refugees from other places like Sillis too.”
That’s a weird question. Isn’t it kind of to be expected for a krakotl to be from our actual homeworld?”
“I’m from Nishtal.”
“No, no, that’s not what I meant,” Kenneth chuckled, tossing a piece of broccoli into his mouth and swallowing before continuing, “I meant, where did you live? I kind of assumed you were born there, but it’s not like Nishtal had a chance to send refugees out, and if they did, this is the last place they’d be.”
Oh... I caught concerned looks of Lena and Reginald, looking between me and Kenneth from both sides. Not only did they not make him aware that I was a krakotl, they also neglected to mention just how I came by my refugee status... Which was just a legal workaround to grant me asylum without unnecessary complications or establishing undesirable precedent. Legally, I may be a refugee, but practically... I am a defector. Lena and Reginald know that, I told them my story before. And while they were weirdly accepting, Kenneth... Fought extermination fleet here on Earth. Personally.
Still, I wasn’t about to lie. It took a few moments and gathering mental strength to steel myself, and averting my eyes, focusing on the plate of warm vegetables in front of me rather than the human’s anticipating stare before I answered.
“I did live on Nishtal. I... I came with the extermination fleet.” I responded, doing my best to avoid looking at him. I did not want to witness his reaction, for some reason the thought of seeing it weighed heavy on my mind.
“Oh.”
The response was simple, and had no followup. There was no more clinking of cutlery against plates, or chewing. The only thing hanging in the air of the kitchen was silence, weighing down on me. It dragged on and on... until it just got so unbearable I couldn’t take it.
“I-I’m full... Thank you for the meal.” I quickly said, hopping off the perch and stepping out of the kitchen, quickly making my way to the yard and taking flight.
Fresh air of the outside and rush of it as I flew up and gained speed... I missed that. I knew it’s not safe to just fly over other people’s territory, so I corrected my course into doing large sweeping circles over the cattle yard and simply let my wings carry me.
Flying away from any danger is the only thing I’m good for anyway. The only thing I ever do.
I closed my eyes. With them closed and not focusing on my angle it feels like I’m actually flying away from all the troubles. Away from humans who barely tolerate my existence, away from gojid who see me as worse than a predator, away from Earth and all its incorrigible customs, away from horrid cattle, away from constant memories...
Flying feels nice. It may be a bit harder than it was home, but it’s still possible. I heard that on Venlil Prime or Mileau it’s much harder. But here? Just an extra flap of wings for every few paces and you’re just fine, free to soar the skies...
Alone. With no one to ever share it with me again.
Slowly I let my eyes open back to the bleak reality. Greenery of surrounding pastures and woods, bright blue skies and farmhouses dotted about here and there greeted me. I lowered my gaze down, focusing on what’s below. There they were, fourteen brown and black dots spread around the enclosed portion of the farm territory. I am not sure how much time I’ve spent flying in circles and trying to forget things but my wings were feeling a tad sore. Then as I just began slow descent, in same circular motion, I noticed that one of the birds, a familiar one, was being chased by several others. Recounting the morning, I tried putting the knowledge to action, and shifted direction of descent, swooping down. To my surprise, that actually worked, as the moment I got close to the ground, the cattle birds all got much louder and scattered in all directions, including the loner. Who, at least this time, got off unharmed. I suppose such pathetic flightless creatures would fear a flying one much more than they would when I just run up to them...
Swooping at them from the sky like a predator to intimidate them into behaving... Like an arxur warden.
With the fight preemptively broken up, I flutter up to the roof of the cattle house, to my usual position and rested my wings. I didn’t see any movement from the direction of the house, so I suppose the family is still busy unpacking. Since Kenneth joined the military just before the Battle of Earth, and Lena and Reginald only moved here after their actual house in city of New York got destroyed, it’d be the first time the human is seeing what is basically his new home. There was a room set aside for him since before I even moved in, and while there is also a guest room... That one did not have a large enough window to fit through, which did not feel comfortable. So when I asked for a space with a bigger window they only had an attic to offer. They seemed uncomfortable letting me live in a tiny room with slanted roof, but I found such space more comforting than I would have a large room with a window not large enough to fit even one fully spread wing through.
I wonder if Kenneth will need as much renovation as I did? The house is built for humans, but he never lived there before. Will he need to buy a more comfortable bed? Getting a proper nesting setup in place of a bed took a bit of effort, but I figured something out. Human sheets were comfortable enough for such, and sitting perches were thankfully not that hard to get thanks to help from the refugee administration. Maybe that’s the things that Lena went to buy yesterday? Kenneth’s preferred room decor?
I looked up to the sky to see the sun beginning to dim. I am not sure if it was me flying that long, or me losing track of time in my thoughts again, but the sun was beginning to set. I began my usual chores, putting out an evening meal and water for the beasts, and while they feasted, ate some myself. I was a bit hungry, having not properly finished lunch and about to skip dinner, but after the earlier conversation, I’d really rather avoid giving them the opportunity to talk to me.
After the birds had their fill, and by that I mean they emptied the tray as they always do, I let out the call, and they started funneling into the cattle house. The lonely straggler being first to go and hop into its nesting box. I bet tomorrow I will have trouble with getting her out of there again...
I took the moment to gather some eggs the birds left over course of the day, and once that was over and all of them were accounted for, I closed it up. When I flew down over to the house, there wasn’t anyone by the back door thankfully, so I just left eggs there, returned the basket, and returned to my room through the window.
Well, at least I didn’t get nearly killed today... That’s nice I guess?
I was about to check my holopad when there was a knock on the door. I approached and opened it to see... Kenneth. Standing in the doorway.
“Uh, hi, Krekos. I just, uh... Wanted to apologize again. I really wish mom and dad told me everything ahead of time... I just want you to know, I have no problems with you whatsoever, yeah? It’s just. Surprising, I guess, to hear all that. I didn’t think there were any defectors from the fleet at all... Just. Uh, please don’t worry about me?” He offered me a small smile, showing his canines before quickly correcting himself and doing a closed-lip one. “I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories or make you feel unwelcome.”
I had to take a moment to contemplate his words. Was Lena and Reginald’s weirdness hereditary? He almost reminded me of how Reginald talked to me early on, with constant stumbling over the words, as well as constant reassurances that he is fine with me being here. Couple that with failing to avoid predatory mannerisms like eye contact and smiles like Lena tends to and you get this human. But most importantly and least understandably, there was the general fact of him and them just... welcoming me. I couldn’t understand why. I should be one sorry to them.
“N-No, it’s fine... I’m sorry for... intruding on you and your family.”
“No, no, dude, you’re fine! I mean, hell, I was considering entering one of those exchange programs before the bombings happened, and even after, well, I did my best at Fahl to be the perfect friendly soldier just there to make sure no more bombs drop on my home and not kill or conquer anyone. And then mom told me your story, and I can’t believe it... Just... If you have any issues, feel free to tell me. I’m not one of those racist pricks that are too pussy to even call themselves HF anymore because they know they’ll get their teeth knocked. I get that there aren't good or bad species, just people. And you seem like a decent guy if mom and dad’s judgment is to be trusted.” His smile widened, though it was clear from tension on his face that he had to take conscious effort to keep teeth hidden. “So, what I said earlier stands. Friends, right?”
He extends hand forward, for a second time today. I wasn’t sure if I knew this human long enough to call him a friend... Any human really. But it also seems like human definition of ‘friends’ is anyone they’re cordial and peaceful with. Which is weird. You’d think translators would properly use ‘acquaintance’ for that.
Still... We will be living in the same house now. I can’t just say no, and... I can’t come up with a reason to say no. Even him being a predator and a human is not something I could really say I object to, considering how... mundane that became to me over my time here.
So, with naught on my mind but acceptance of the situation, I extended my wing and grasped his hand with my claw. This time he actually gripped it tightly and moved it up and down, as I saw other humans do occasionally.
“Yeah... I guess that’d be for the best.” I responded, shrugging off the hesitation. Fresh start for a third time, I guess?
The human grinned, forgetting to hide his teeth entirely, but I was ready for it somehow and avoided outwardly reacting.
“Cool! Anyway, I’ll try to get some shuteye early, I couldn’t sleep on the overnight flight home. See ya!”
And with that he left. Well... That meeting went well I suppose?
I returned to my nest and picked up my holopad, returning to what I was doing. And there it was, something I awaited every day. A notification that I was messaged on mailing app. Opening the letter revealed the schedule for the study program. Which... only had one day marked on it. And a note that the rest of it will be figured out ‘as we go from there’. So it’s not a schedule, it’s just a mark for the day of the first meeting.
While a bit underwhelming, it was still exciting. It would be an all-alien class so I wouldn’t have to deal with humans’ incomprehensibility nearly as much, and it would allow me to finally return to pursuing what I actually dreamt of. Even if I wasn’t entirely sure that was precisely what I wanted after everything that happened, it was at least something for me to move towards.
...just two days until start. I wonder if there’s some required reading to prepare?
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In my first AA meeting, when it was my turn to speak, I said that I felt my life was a lot like the curse of Sisyphus – forever pushing a boulder up a hill only to slip at the top and, along with the giant stone, roll back to the bottom to start all over again. In my version, each time I slipped and fell, once I got up to start over, the boulder had grown in size, intensifying my labour.
Once the meeting had ended, a person came over and talked to me. “It’s nice to see another lover of the classics here,” they said. I smiled and said, “Oh yeah, haha.” The truth is, I really only know this myth from a friend who is a lover of the classics, and although I relate to the story, I myself will only listen to the enchanting timbre of Stephen Fry’s voice on the topic.
He then went on to tell me that there is a more modern reinterpretation of the story where the curse wasn’t real, but Sisyphus had been tricked into thinking he was eternally damned but could walk away at any time. This really got me thinking about how I had viewed this big stone of mine, this metaphor for everything that fuels my feelings of resentment, stress, anxiety, and depression. Maybe I could just walk away? Now, obviously, I’m not saying people should just walk away from their problems, but it’s our often locked, self-imposed, resentment-fuelled perspective on these problems that causes them to fester and grow. AA is full of “God” and “higher power” talk. I’ve seen people come to a meeting for the first time, hear these words and sigh, deal with the next however long, and never be seen in a meeting again. I don’t blame them. When someone would say to me, “Just put it in the Lord’s hands,” I would always feel disappointed, like it’s just a thing to say to get you to shut up already. What does that mean? Some imaginary force is going to fix my problems? Well, it didn’t take too many meetings to figure out that, no, it doesn’t. What I have come to believe this means is that you’re giving your problems to a higher mode of thinking, the lower mode being this default negative, the world-is-against-me way of looking at things. This lower mode is what brings us to feel the need to numb ourselves because it’s just so overwhelming and hurts emotionally, mentally, and physically – and in come the substances.
I’m going to now share my own reinterpretation of the Myth of Sisyphus, leaving out the whole story about why he was cursed because it doesn’t really apply.
In a timeless realm where punishment and perseverance intertwine, Sisyphus eternally pushes his boulder up a steep hill, only to watch it roll back down each time he nears the summit. This cycle, which he believes to be a divine curse, becomes his singular reality.
As he strains against the weight of his burden, a demon appears on one side, its voice smooth and tempting. It offers Sisyphus a potion, claiming it will ease his pain and make him forget his struggles. Desperate for relief, Sisyphus drinks the potion, and indeed, his pain subsides, his mind grows numb. But each time the boulder rolls back, it returns larger and heavier than before, intensifying his labour.
On the other side of the path, an angel stands silently, offering its hand. Its serene presence contrasts sharply with the demon's boisterous allure. The angel says nothing, its expression calm and patient, a silent invitation to abandon the fruitless task and find peace.
Yet Sisyphus, ensnared by the demon’s persuasive voice, ignores the angel. The demon’s seductive words drown out the silence of the angel, and the potion’s false relief becomes an irresistible escape from his perceived torment.
Unbeknownst to Sisyphus, he is not truly cursed. The gods had tricked him, implanting the belief of a never-ending punishment. The boulder is but an illusion of his own making, a symbol of his acceptance of a lie. The angel’s hand, extended in eternal patience, is the path to his freedom, offering a silent truth: he can walk away at any moment.
But silence is easily overlooked amidst the clamour of temptation. Thus, Sisyphus remains trapped in his self-imposed struggle, pushing the ever-growing boulder, unable to hear the unspoken truth that could set him free.
(Thanks for the re-write, AI)
For most of us, drinking or drugs aren’t really a problem, and that’s great. But unfortunately for some, what started as a fun social partaking from time to time turned into a form of self-medication. It’s a reaction to “I don’t like how I feel.” It’s a very self-involved, short-sighted solution. It’s a selfish act and feeds selfish thinking. Even the aftermath – the hangover – is a continuation of this. It’s so hard to focus or deal with anyone else other than yourself when you’re feeling the withdrawal. Thoughts dwell on fixing the way you feel, and when this is a regular occurrence, even if you no longer suffer as intensely as you once did, those thoughts become one: “When can I have my next drink?” The ultimate cure.
This supposed “cure” is a lie. I call it ‘The Sweet Spot Fallacy’. If I have a few drinks – for me, it was 2-3 generous glasses of whiskey – I’ll reach that sweet spot, and I can finally be at peace. Well, this “sweet spot” only lasts for a moment, and as it starts to fade, the body groans, “I’m losing it, I need more.” So you top up, then whoops, you've had too much, and here comes the slurry mess of “deep, meaningful, and/or epiphonic” (but really just resentment-fuelled dopamine drops of shallow validation) thoughts and conversation. Or what if you can’t top up? Well then, the body and mind continue to groan ever more intensely, and this displays itself in a shit-coloured variety of behaviours in the search for peace and comfort.
I drank because I was filled with resentment. I hated the fact that the world didn’t align for me, and thoughts and memories relating to this made me feel awful, and they wouldn’t stop dropping in to remind me. The irony is that the more these thoughts grew, the more unhinged I became, and the world more unaligned. And the reason those thoughts grew as intense as they did? Alcohol. Alcohol and fatigue.
I’m going to end this with another metaphor that I feel relates to what I have said here, and I’ll leave it to you to figure out why.
“Knowledge is knowing it’s a one-way street. Wisdom is looking both ways regardless.”
Peace and Love.

It's been several months since I had a gout flare up in my foot. I have been on 200mg/day allopurinol and that seemed to have it under control. This month I started getting a very sudden debilitating pain in my right knee to the point where I could barely walk and it hurts like hell to bend my knee. This is the same way it happens when I have a gout flare up in my foot, so I thought it was just gout in my knee.
I took my colchicine 2 + 1, like I usually do for my foot. Wake up the next morning after taking colchicine and the knee pain is completely gone. 2nd time, same thing. The third time, the pain lasted into the second day, so I took some prednisone that morning and the pain went away by that afternoon.
After 3 times in a month, I went to my primary doctor to have my uric acid checked. I got an email from Quest today to view my lab results online. My uric acid is 3.6. Actually too low. Well controlled by the allopurinol.
So, I researched anything else that colchicine works on and the only thing that kind of fits is Pseudogout. I don't go back to the doctor until late next week to discuss my lab results and see what she thinks. Does anyone have both gout & pseudogout or anyone have any other ideas what it could be? Could it just be rheumatoid arthritis and a coincidence that the pain stopped after a round of colchicine?
Next step? Keep treating my knee pain with the colchicine since that works? (If/when it happens again.) Try not doing anything and see if it goes away on it's own by the next day? See a rheumatologist?

We all know the VA could give less shit about back pain if you can reach your toes.
So at that point, what do yall do about your back pain? Yall do physical therapy, medication, or any form of relief like lidocaine patches? Having a clingy child is making my back pain way much much worse. It doesn't help that I stand all day at my job.
I haven't been to the VA since I already go to my private care team. I was put on physical therapy but had to stop since I was losing tricare coverage. I finally got Medicare so I'm planning on going back again. But what happens when physical therapy or medication isn't cutting it?

👋😘 (34/she/her) First off, how amazing to finally find this thread. I have been suffering for a long time on my own due to internalized shame, anxiety and fear. I’m so tired though, and have decided to finally get this out of my head.
I recently got diagnosed with PCOS back in February after my menstrual cycle decided to go for about two weeks after it should have ended. Not my first rodeo - longest it ever went was five months due to a severe depressive episode and not going in sooner. Results included: “Interval growth of posterior fibroid and identification of new fibroid since prior ultrasound done 6/12/20. Posterior fibroid is now adjacent to the endometrium but primarily transmural. Endometrium 5.2 mm. Ovaries with polycystic morphology. “ I’ve honestly been declining ever since. I’m on a thyroid medicine and Sertraline combo, enjoyed with consistent phantom UTI pains, sciatic nerve pain, weight gain, and so much more! Hardest being the mental aspect the week before my period.
My OBGYN recommended I start Yaz, but I’m nervous about the mental side effects and wanted to see if anyone had a recommendation? This is such a long post, but I would be happy to explain more about how I’ve gotten where I am now. Hope to chat with any of you about this. Wish you all the best!

https://preview.redd.it/zpccus38ub1d1.jpg?width=1263&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bc47a7262d811a366d273645a859e6ac859c1d22
According to ESPN, Apparently the Oilers advance and are headed to the conference finals without a game 7
Shady business!

I'm just going to vomit all of my thoughts from this past week onto this thread. If this makes zero sense, I'm sorry. Also, this is long. I don't blame you if you don't read it. It's not like I deserve the time of day.
I just can't wait for the school year to be over. I don't dislike school, just everyone in it. Actually, I don't dislike them, i envy them. Thats a better word. I envy them because they dont have to be me. I dont have it hard or anything. Not to them. I try to be nice, i want to be nice. but it feels like my peers don't. they just have a good time using me as a punching bag. at least starting this Friday I'll have a solid 2 months of being able to work on impressing them before I come back. this year and last, I've been a court jester. this next year is my last year at this school before high school. I want to have a good last year. but i would also like to be more social, and that's hard enough.
I honestly don't understand how I've even got this many friends. I don't understand what they gain from being friends with me. If they don't enjoy being friends with me, they'd just tell me, right? I don't think I do them any favors being around them. but i feel annoying around anyone else. I do feel like the worst of my peers. they do all act and look better than me. and I'm not even me during school. I'd be quite the downer if I was. I try to be happy, but it feels forced. being social feels forced and stressful. if I don't know the person, I can legitimately not talk to them. not unless they're a teacher, or they talk to me first. but even if they do, I probably will only talk the bare minimum. I feel uncomfortable just being around anyone in general. I think I feel uncomfortable because I'm lowering other's perspective of them by being near them. Like a dump yard next to a mansion.
It doesn't help that I look roughly 3 years older than I actually am. I've had people tell me I look 16 before. That doesn't look good being surrounded by 12–14-year-olds. I remember specifically last year I was leaving the locker room, and someone said to me "You look like everything bad was made into one person." That stuck with me. Maybe I shouldn't have taken it to heart. But how can I not? Maybe I should focus more on what I think and less what others think. But I just can't do that. Even right now, I'm going to work on myself so that I fit in more. So that other people are nicer to me. I wish I wasn't fat. I really do. I work on it. I try and remember that if I don't need it to live, I shouldn't eat it. But I've gotten so used to eating when I was bored. When I was sad. As a reward. I would go to the fridge. I would get a haircut, but if it's bad, it's only going to provoke more. I'm getting one as soon as possible once school ends. at least if it's bad, it'll grow back a little by the time school lets back in. Nothing will fit with my face though. It's dumb, fatty, and I think it's one of the worse parts of my body. I've got glasses, though. They help round out my face a bit. I still don't look good, but at least I don't look as bad as I could. I also don't look at good as I could, but that's because I can't keep my mouth shut.
Maybe I should have a doctor sew my mouth shut. Maybe I should put my bed in front of my door so I can't take a break from scrolling to go eat. Managing my calories is hard. It shouldn't be, I'm just stupid. I'm also immature. I swear too much, I have a baby voice, and I always have spit in my mouth. I'm gross. I sweat too much and spit too much. Can I control it? No. but I'm not the victim here. I make everyone else the victim by being there. I'm only there because I'm forced to be there. I'd skip daily if I wasn't. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable by going up and talking to them. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable by sitting next to them on the bus when its full. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable by sharing a class with them. I don't want to be a discomforting person. Maybe isolation would be the best course of action. They'd make a classroom just for me to do online lessons in, alone. Probably an old janitor's closet. But I don't think I would be worth the effort. They'd label me unteachable and let me rot in bed at home.
I don't want to be negative. But I did it to myself, really, why didn't I just choose the good genetics? Why didn't I choose to never hunger? To digest food as fast as I bleed? To not sweat? To mature at the same rate as a normal 13-year-old? To be able to disregard any VERY helpful criticism I get? To smell like a field of roses? To be charming? To be attractive? To be normal?
To be honest, self-care doesn't make much sense to me. I don't deserve care to myself. I am to be treated the same as every other pig in the barn yard. If nobody would see it, what's the point? Genuinely. I need validation from my peers. Not that I've ever gotten it. It's human, right? That doesn't mean I need validation though. I'm lucky, though. They could've kicked my skull in the minute I walked through the door. I wouldn't blame them. Not like I could fight back. I'm about as weak as possible.
And that's what I've always been and will always be. The big, weak, ugly, loser that is to be hated. Because ignoring the abnormal will make them think they deserve to be near the fines. The best. The normal. I pity those that look like me, but not worse than me. Nobody could look worse than me. I don't deserve pity though. I deserve the pain that's come to me. I deserve worse, honestly. I'm lucky.

I move toward it and I put my thumbs under its arm pits and pull it out of the pile of crates it was under. I pulled it to the center of the room and check over where the missing arm was attached and then rolled it over to check the power supply and main processor unit to ensure it’s still intact.
As I leave the cargo area I yell for the mech() to come and see if it can get the synth put back together and powered on. I go towards my quarters praying that it’s still intact and my gear isn’t damaged. I start to slow down as I approach the door and hold my hand out to see if I can feel any heat coming off the door. Once I make sure it isn’t hot I lean in close to see if I can hear anything that might have made its way inside from any of the exposed parts of the ship. Once I’m satisfied that I’m not hearing anything moving around I start to pry the door open. After about a minute the doors finally give way and slide open and lock, I enter with my gun at the ready slowly scanning the room taking everything in making sure nothing is hiding in the dark corners. I sign in relief to see that nothing made it into the room and I move towards a footlocker at the foot of my bed, once I’m there I put my hand on the palm scanner to unlock it and pull out the combat suit and rifle that was stored.
After about ten minutes of messing with the suit, it was finally on and sealed, I grabbed the helmet and it started to sync to the suit once I dawned it. I went through the sensor calibrations and finished searching the ship for any possible intruders. I made sure there were no other breaches and nothing else in the ship, from there I started to move back to the cargo bay to see if the synth is repairable or scrap. To my surprise I saw the synth moving when I entered the room, well the head at least, it seems that the only damage was the torn limb and some gashes on its body.
I kneeled down to talk to the synth for a few minutes to make sure its processor or memory unit wasn’t damaged, I inquired to see how long it would take for both it and the droid the be able to start repairs on the ships haul. I inform them that the client probably doesn’t care if we use the fabricator or any of the other supplies we were transporting and having a sealed place to sleep and possible power would be nice for the upcoming night. I looked at the droid and the synth and explained that I will be stepping away to recon our crash site and see what might be in the immediate area, hopefully there’s some no hostile life on this planet because if not it’s going to be a pain in the ass.
I start making my way to the exit hatch on the top of the ship, when I get to the bottom of the ladder I stop and stare at the hatch praying it isn’t jammed shut. I drop the rifle so it catches on its sling and start to climb, with one arm hooked around the bar I use my other to twist and open the hatch. As the hatch pushes up and over it lets in a soft morning light, and the sounds of animals and insects. I slowly pop my head out doing a slow 360 to take in the immediate surroundings and once it’s clear I pull myself out and close the hatch locking it. I start walking across the top of the ship to check on some of the haul to see how badly it was damaged, and surprisingly it’s not in bad shape, minus the giant hole in the cargo area.
As I jump down I hear something big moving in the forest to the left, and as I start to head that direction I hear what sounds to be a scream from a human to the right. I pivot and bring my gun to the ready and start moving towards the screams, hoping that what ever I’m walking away from doesn’t decide to follow the screams also.

I’m curious if anyone tried tabs chocolate? I have difficulty inserting anything wider than two fingers and a part of me wonders if I have vaginismus or am I not aroused enough or the pain is all in my head. I’m also curious if anyone thought they had vaginismus but drank alcohol or ate tabs, and your vagina finally stretched without issue? (This might be a long shot but thought I won’t know until I asked)

This is my first ever post. Mainly a full time lurker.
LI will be having a laparoscopic hysterectomy (keeping my ovaries). I don't want to be in pain anymore but I'm so worried about the what ifs and complications. I'm not sure what I'm needing but I'm feeling so overwhelmed and alone. I just want it to be worth it in the end for my health and well being.
I finally found out after over 13 years why I have had a lot of pain when it came to periods and it's due to having a fully collapse left tube and the right tube isn't doing so great and possibility of having adenomyosis (had went to a different gyno before, that mentioned it after an ultrasound and wanted me to have a hysterectomy asap). I have dealt with the pain for so long and finally found a gyno that was able to figure out that something was definitely wrong due to doing a diagnostic laparoscopy, but he had only found out about the tubes and stated he doesnt know if i have adenomyosis, will only know once the procedure is done but I dont have any signs of endometriosis.
I have scheduled my surgery and I'm terrified on whether or not I'm making the right choice. I've been constantly looking at this thread and googling pros and cons about the procedure. (Hair loss, BM, bladder issues). And I don't want to lose the ability of enjoying sex with my significant other. I haven't even got my after care stuff ready. I don't even know where to start.

Basically, I’m a sucker for books where MC2 has been suffering in silence for a long time and has abandoned all expectations of a better life, but then suddenly MC1 realises what’s happening and devotes themselves fiercely to protecting MC2. I’d like the book to depict all three stages of the situation – starting with MC2 suffering and MC1 being oblivious, then showing the moment where MC1 realises what's happening, then showing the protection/comfort that comes after – but it doesn’t really matter to me what percentage of the book is devoted to which stage. I also don’t mind whether the reader knows about the suffering before MC1 or if they realise it at the same time, and I don’t mind what exactly the suffering consists of (most of the books l’ve read that fit the trope depict some kind of abuse, but it definitely doesn’t have to be that).
Some examples of books l've enjoyed that fit the trope: - Winter’s Orbit, Everina Maxwell – Kiem is a prince arranged to marry Jainan, who’s the widower of Kiem’s cousin Taam and who comes across as very cold and uptight. Eventually, Kiem realises that Taam was abusive, and that Jainan has assumed all marriages are like that and is now just waiting for Kiem to start hurting him. - A Strange and Stubborn Endurance, Foz Meadows – another arranged marriage one, but this time Vel was sexually assaulted by his ex before the marriage and expects it to happen again with his husband, Cae. Cae actually figures it out what’s happening ~30% of the way throunh the book, leaving a lot of time for the comfort side of things. - Orientation, Gregory Ashe – North & Shaw are best friends (and endgame lovers), North is in a physically abusive marriage but explains away the injuries as coming from boxing, eventually Shaw accidentally eavesdrops on him being beaten and is horrified. Interestingly, it takes a long time for Shaw to tell North that he’s figured out what’s happening. Shaw starts off by laying into North’s husband instead. - Prince of Agony, Tavia Lark – Kaz is a prince who releases magic when in pain, and this magic can then be harnessed by the person who inflicted the pain. His parents have whipped him in secret all his life and have taught him that everyone else will hurt him too if they know the truth, so he puts up a very cold front. Lucien is a prisoner at the palace whom Kaz has claimed as a personal slave, ostensibly to humiliate him but actually to protect him from a worse punishment, because he’s a total softie at heart. Lucien finally works out what’s going on and ends up basically defending Kaz from the other side of the power dynamic. - Empty Net, Avon Gale – Laurent is a minor-league hockey player who’s universally hated for acting like a jerk. He gets traded to a rival team as a back-up for their starter goalie, Isaac. Turns out that’s Laurent’s only like that because his father and ex-coach was horrifically abusive, and he’s gotten used to hurting people before they can hurt him. Isaac figures this out when he finds Laurent crying in the team shower with scars all over his back, and by the end of the book, the whole team has rallied together around him. - Two Man Station, Lisa Henry – Gio is a city policeman who used to date another officer on his team, but got him fired before the book starts – he blew the whistle about his ex’s drug use and how it was making him dangerously aggressive during arrests. The version of the story that spread through the police service was that Gio had made up a rumour about his ex to ruin his career, so he’s universally hated. His higher-ups transfer him to a small outback station as a kind of unofficial punishment, and his new partner, Jason, also gives him a very frosty reception. Eventually, Jason becomes the first person to learn not just the true circumstances of the firing, but also that Gio’s ex also used to beat him and that his old colleagues have been harassing him ever since the incident, including refusing to provide him with backup in the field, making anonymous phone calls threatening his niece, and sending unmarked packages containing dog food to his new stationWatch Me, Sloane Kennedy – Jude is a high-flying businessman who comes across as very uptight and abrasive, but he’s actually just >!trying to hold down a high-stress job while dealing with severe ADHD and intense fear of failure from his time in foster care. Nikolai is his bodyguard who slowly sees through him and starts looking after him.
My ‘no’s in a book are: poly, incest including stepfamily stuff, BDSM (I can handle someone being tied up during sex or a tiny bit of a dom/sub vibe during sex, but nothing more intense than that), daddy kink, age play, and omegaverse.
Thanks so much everyone, really appreciate you even taking the time to read this far ❤️

so my dentist told me my braces would cost about $5,000, and my insurance would not cover a cent. i do not have anywhere near this amount of money, as i am 15 and dont have a job, my mother relies on her disabled veteran check, and i have a dad that refuses to get a job.
but, i'd prefer not to have crooked teeth anymore, as they make me insecure and sometimes hurt. when i was young, i was too scared to pull out a tooth in fear of pain, and i didnt let my mom tie a string around it because i had seen those videos and was terrified of them.
my adult tooth started growing with my baby tooth still in, so when i finally pulled it, it was severely crooked. now my two front teeth are horrible, with one being far back and one being far forward. i never smile or show my teeth because of it, and im embarrassed to even show my teeth to the dentist. i was wondering if there was a cheaper alternative to braces?