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Hello, I am venting a little bit, i am myslef aware this is a very small issue (or non issue). My parents just let me know they are going on a trip to Spain and i am but hurt they didn't invite me with them. As I am writing this i realise this is stupid so i guess writing it down works great to feel better.
My parents travel a lot,minimum 4 times a year outside the country (we are in E.Europe) and they always complain that I don't join them. This is true because most times they travel last minute and often they'll ask after they already bought the trips for themselves or one day before they board the plane and I doubt there even are any more spots available:)). Last week my dad asked me if i wanted to come with them to Egypt to an all inclusive resort and i said i couldn't, i have some issues with my body,i lost 60 kg and being in a bathing suit around all their friends makes me and my loose skin feel bad. They know about this which is why i always bring up traveling to non beach related places. If it were just me and my parents i don;t mind the beach but their friend group is pretty big and i don;t know them.
Now comes Spain. I have never been to Spain before and it's on my wishlist for a very long time. I was shocked when they told me they were going there in 2 days(so in May not June). When I was a kid they skipped my highschool graduation and my prom to go to Spain and I am stil upset they chose the trip over me (it's been 10 years but it still hurts and i even talked about it to them a few years back). What made me sad is that I had invited them to a picnic at the botanical garden (it's rose season) and they said yes and now they are going to spain. they didn't even mention the picnic, i was on the phone with my mom asking her if she wanted to join me at a different event and she said she's going to spain. so if i hadn't called they may have just let me prep the food and everything and then not show up? i am confused by their logic,I even sent out an invite by post (i got into caligraphy and was seals,it's a thing) so it s not like she had forgotten. I live about 1.3 hours away so i always try to figure out activities in my city that they can enjoy, the picnic was their idea.
I think if it were any other country i probably wouldn't mind but I felt horrible not having anyone at my hs graduation and prom because my mom and dad were in Barcelona having fun,if they had said we're off to Turkey to lounge on the beach it would have been fine. I think i m just but hurt it's Spain:))
Obviously my parents can go on holiday without me,i am an adult not a child, they have no obligation to take me with them anywhere or to invite me to trips etc. I do wish they would stop complaining that I never go anywhere with them since these trips always involve their friends and are almost always last minute or my favorite is when they've already booked it and they are asking without even checking availabilities. But they plan these trips with their friends, with me it's like: hey, do you want to go to x location? we are leaving in 2 days and there might not be another spot available unless you make up your mind in the next 5 minutes. Now that i write this i realize my parents never ever asked me where i would want to go or planned anything with me,it's almost like they want me to say no. They have a different life,they run their own businesses so they can take time off last minute more easily. I work from home and i could take time off but it affects the money i make since i am a freelancer,plus some projects have deadlines etc.
To psychoanalize this some more:)) i am an only child to parents who were always absent when i was growing up,i am the kid who never asked for homework help,who managed her schedule (school,food,cleaning,learning wtc) since 1st grade and never could ask them for help because they were never there. I do wander if anyone knows how to move on from this? But i guess i am but hurt when they ignore me or cancel plans on me because of the way i grew up and not because going to Spain by themselves is an isssue. This post is all over the place, i would apreciate some thoughts on how to be less but hurt in the future:) thank you for reading, i hope you guys have a great summer!

Thank you for this universe!
And many thanks to for being a full co-writer on this project!
Kaeden and Vichee belongs to and I thank them so much for working with us! It was an honor!
Sven belongs to Bjorn the Copper Paladin from Discord. I hope to do more with them in the future, and have tons of fun!
And don’t you worry about that final in the title! We have some news at the end!
[First]- [Prev]- {Next Story!!}

{Is the reason that everything happened to Tarlim in the first place?}

{Only up to the ramps, mostly. Trying to impress upon people the importance of accessibility for those with extenuating circumstances. At least according to the records I have access to.}

{The average person knows as much about his friends as they do about Mike Collins.}
<...Who?>
{Exactly. 20th century human spaceman, was there for their first lunar landing. Didn’t get to put boots on the ground, and nobody remembers his name now.}

{Hell, I didn’t even know about him until I put in a search query of niche historical figures just to give you an example. Yeesh…}

(Program Selected.)
(Resume Selected Media? [Y])
(Playing…)
Archived Closed Circuit Security Video - Establishment: Exterminator’s Office - Dawn Creek Division - Subbasement - Date Recorded (ST): OCT 31, 2136 - Timeframe (ST): 11:42 - 11:45
The parking bay is silent. Vans are parked neatly in their spots which frame the hallway to the armory and fuel storage for the camera. A ding is heard and something moves in the hallway. Five fully suited Venlil and a Zurulian step out of an elevator and run towards a van. The sound of a door slamming open comes from the hall roughly 6 seconds later. A stream of Exterminators pour out into the hall from the stairwell.
Their voices are indecipherable as they speak over each other. A Sulian runs into the armory and reappears with a huge flamer tank on their back. Another Zurulian can be seen with an extinguisher tank, but a Venlil bleats at them and tosses it aside. They drag the quadrupedal alien quickly into the parking garage before physically throwing them into the back of a van.
From the back of the hallway, a fluid can be seen spreading across the ground. A trio of Venlil back out of a room while holding their flamers up. They are unlit, instead spewing fuel out of their nozzles. The trio twirl around in an overly animated manner as they walk down the hall to the parking garage. A van pulls out of its spot with windows down so the passengers could let out a cheer.
A black-suited Venlil runs up to the spraying trio while waving their arms to get them out into the garage. The microphone just barely manages to catch him saying, “We need to save some for the predators!” One of the other Venlil replies, “Yes sir, Mafchi!” A short flurry of curses is heard as the gathered exterminators pile into the three other visible vans. Two of the vans speed out of the garage, forcing some other Venlil exterminators to dive out of the way in the process.
The black-suited Mafchi picks up a fuel canister that had been dropped and twists off its cap. He slings it under his shoulder and pours a line of fuel. He marches straight to the final van and hops up into the open rear. The van backs itself up to turn out of the garage. The fuel canister clatters to the ground as it pulls away. Before it clears the view of the camera, the Black-suited Venlil is seen standing in its open back. He is holding what appears to be a flare gun.
The flare sails through the air shortly after the van leaves the frame and impacts the ground. It bounces and rolls until it touches the fuel and ignites it in an instant. A small wall of fire proceeds down the provided trail into the hallway, igniting more fuel as time passes. The hallway is quickly engulfed in vividly red fire. Thick black smoke begins to pour out into the garage as the fire inches closer to the primary fuel tank.
Movement can be seen in the hallway between the flickering flames. The silver form of a Venlil Exterminator is seen rushing out of the stairwell and fighting to head towards the fuel storage room. Before they reach, a white flash fills the screen. The feed goes dead, the error code consistent with electrical interruption.
(Specified Media Concluded.)

{Who was what? Mafchi?}

{Hmmm, there aren’t any tags embedded for them. The suits do a rather good job at making the officers anonymous. Let me see…oh.}

{The, uh… the employment records for that Office were…terminated.}

{It looks like…yes, here. Record wipe in 2497. Media with less than 1 bistandannual visit were removed to save space on the university’s central server. It’s…they’re gone, gone gone.}

{Maybe, but that’ll do us no good if we don’t know their name. And because of the chaos of that incident, nobody has been able to accurately reconstruct where every individual was in that office. We’d have to already know who they were to find them.}
<...I guess that’s another person I’ll have to remember then, huh?>
{...Guess so. Speaking of remembering, perhaps you should check out Tarlim’s view again? Seeing how we were just talking about him.}
<...Sure. At least people remember his name, right?>
(Command: [exitprogram])
(Are you sure? [Y])
…
{-Program Selected-}
{-Restart From Last Playback Point? Y/(N)-}
{-[USERID-11229KMD]: procViewHist -}
{-Retrieving Transcription Viewing History…-}
{-List Retrieved - Select Desired Subject: (Tarlim)-}
{-Restart From Last Playback Point? (Y)/N-}
{-Playing…-}
Memory Transcription Subject: Tarlim, the Venbig. Date [Standardized Human Time] October 31st, 2136
No matter how much Sven and Anso griped about it, having them leave and return with the trailer was a great idea. The humans who had gone with them the first time were, to my dismay, excited to try and ride in the back. I had at least been able to impress on those four that I couldn’t let anyone else ride like that, and that they were to help with rigging a trailer with some seats.
I had to admit; they did a good job!
Several couches sat bolted to the floor of the covered trailer and even had some ropes that could be hooked across the armrests as impromptu belts. It wasn’t perfect by any means, but it would work as well as any bus or short train ride! Certainly superior to jumping in the bed of a truck.
I strode out into the parking road and swayed my ears to greet Anso. Sven had stayed behind here to meet with the humans and entertain the kids, a job which he was slightly less unenthusiastic about compared to last time. “Greetings, Anso! Have you made the necessary preparations for the humans to leave with you?”
The Yotul hopped out of the truck bed and bounced to me. “We have! I have to say those humans were great workers to have helped get this whipped up so quickly! I hope Sven has been behaving himself?”
I let my tail wag behind me remembering my last glimpse of him. He should really secure his sheath straps! “He has! Been entertaining the refugees while I made sure they all had their belongings ready to go. Come on inside, let’s go gather them.”
I guided him with a wave of my arm as we turned back to the door. To be truthful, I hadn’t expected Sven to win the humans over as quickly as he did. Needless to say, his primitive attire seemed to spark joy within them, a joy sorely needed amidst the sadness of recency.
As we entered the building I noticed something, or rather, the lack of something. When I had exited only a few [minutes] prior, the building had been full of life and noise. Now, it was almost dead quiet, save for the sounds of a holovision coming from the lobby. Rather heated sounds, at that.
“I didn’t think it was already main rest claw,” Anso mused as he, too, recognized the aggravated voices coming from the lobby. “And what are they watching in there? Sounds…angry.”
“Yeah…” I trailed off as I followed the noises. As I approached the lobby, the sound of what I assumed was a Gojid yelling. “You know nothing about my family. TALK, JUST FUCKING TALK, NOW!” My ears pinned back at the foul language at play, hoping that Sven and the children were somewhere else.
As I entered the room, I saw that I was only half right. The children were thankfully nowhere to be found, but Sven was obviously present, as was most of the facility staff. I was about to ask what was going on before another voice drew my attention to the holovision, the same as everyone else. The voice of none other than Chief Nikonus.
“There were three of us who laid out the groundwork for the Federation. When Kolshian explorers came in contact with the Farsul, more than a thousand years ago, the galaxy was young. We were the first in this sector to escape our gravity well. You know about the founding of this institution, but I reiterate it just in case.”
“The Krakotl were the third,” another voice piped up from behind the camera. I thought it might’ve been another Gojid, but the voice was far too breathy. Harchen, maybe? I wasn’t given a chance to consider it further as Nikonus continued. “Yes, they were a problem from the start; aggressive, disagreeable. We tried to identify the problem, and why they were so ill-equipped for spacefaring.”
“We learned they were scavengers, who would occasionally go for fish as well.”
His next line was rendered inaudible by the shocked gasps of both the refugees and residents in the room. I was no different, drawing in a sharp breath at the abrupt admission. I remembered that Arvi had said some aliens were revealed to have eaten meat in the past, but was this the way it was decided to be revealed? With such abject callousness?
Nikonus continued to speak, looking not just proud, but smug with his words. He went on about how the Federation had saved these aliens with their manipulations, but the entirety of his body language seemed to indicate he reveled in how devastating this information would be to the people he was speaking to. How they manipulated an entire culture, a RELIGION!
What if they did the same to ours?
That horrifying thought struck through my mind like a derailing train. I had relied upon the Tenets in some of my darkest moments. Found comfort in them when there was none elsewhere to be found. To have such a comfort revealed as a lie in its entirety, used only for some other group to control you…
The voice of Nikonus hit my ears again. “Oh Sovlin, I already told you. For the small minority of species who don’t find herbivory alone, we teach them the right way. Doesn’t the religion against predators sound familiar?”
The Kolshian was insufferably proud of those words. There was no doubt in my mind now; this was mocking. Mocking a Gojid for following The Protector. For being a predator. For being different, but expecting to still be treated as a person. The Gojid were predators, they couldn’t help it, and they were already being mocked for it.
What might happen to all the other species?
I shifted my focus away from the screen to the crowd, searching for one in particular. Vichee, a Krakotl already so different from everyone else, and now my concerns for them were multiplied with every word that fell from Nikonus’ mouth. Were they okay? They had come in here to see Sven, I had seen them. Where are-
I spotted Kaeden in the corner of the room. Next to him, slumped against the wall, was Vichee. The dual colored Krakotl’s eyes were glazed over as they stared at nothing. I strode over quickly, my instincts wanting to comfort them. Kaeden was simply standing there, it was confusing that he didn’t seem to be comforting Vichee at all. As I got closer, their head tilted up to me, regarding me with an unfocused eye.
“He was right.” They said quietly. My implant almost didn’t pick it up over the sounds of the lobby. “Kaeden had asked me soon after our first meeting if Krakotl had once been meat eaters. Said it was the shape of our beaks. ‘More suited to capturing small wriggling prey than filtering algae’. He told me. I nearly flew away right then… If I had, I would have been alone with this news.”I listened, kneeling down to be closer to their level. “You’re not alone, your herd is here. Right Kaeden?”
He looked over at me and nodded. “Vichee was there with me when Earth was attacked. I’m here for them now. Kaabra and Venik are… together, elsewhere at the moment. But they will be here too.”
I flicked my ears in understanding. “Then I hope they may help in hugging Vichee until their tears are dry.” I turned an eye to Vichee. “Please, I just want you to know that you are still you. What your body does has no effect on your personhood.”
Vichee still sat, their mind still likely whirling with the new information. They lifted their differently colored wings. “I’m well aware. This lesson I already learned. But thank you, I understand what you mean.” Kaeden nodded slowly and Vichee returned to their thoughts.
“There’s going to be trouble soon, Tarlim,” Kaeden stated gravely. “News like this? Nothing good will come of it. I can already tell this won’t go over well. Keep your eyes open.”
As if in response to his words, the sound of clanking metal hits my ears. They shoot up, pivoting to locate its source. There, dashing towards the door, was the armored figure of Sven. I didn’t know him enough to know how this broadcast would affect him, but running was never the best sign. I flicked my ears goodbye to my friends and rose, following after the metal man. In my periphery, I saw the television screen had shifted to show Rolem moving onto the stage. I would have to miss whatever it was he had to say, so ducked through the doors and continued to follow the sound of metal.
As I exited, I saw that I wasn’t the only one to see Sven’s actions. Anso was bounding behind him, shouting something I couldn’t hear. Sven didn’t seem to either as he kept running, but his gait wasn’t one of fear. He looked purposeful, sprinting in a straight line. A line pointed right towards-
Towards the observing Exterminator Van.
The metal Venlil didn’t even hesitate at the presence of the fence. He leapt up in a display of strength and agility, vaulting over the barrier and continuing his beeline into the van. It was like phased through the doors with how fast he moved. There were sounds of commotion that followed his entry, and soon two Exterminators fell out of the van. One Venlil…and one Krakotl. I wonder how Kalek is taking things.
I, too, cleared the fence with only a high step and reached the van, peering in to see Sven at the controls. “Sven! What are you doing?” I asked, the Krakotl officer shivering on the ground in my periphery.
“They got my girl!” He huffed, “She’s a Gojid, they got her, I can’t let them do anything worse to her!” He tried to activate the vehicle to no avail, but his words brought up something that I hadn’t thought much over. I remember hearing about temporary emplacements that were being set up. Paly had texted me about exterminators bringing people there. Her too. And that would mean-
-THOOOOOOOMMMMM-
The wind hit me like a truck and rocked the van I was standing next to. Sven even stopped trying to fiddle with the controls to see what had just happened. In the distance, near the center of town, an enormous black cloud rose into the air, the vestiges of fire still burning in the suspended embers. I couldn’t look away from it as my mind raced with horrible possibilities as my mind tripped over itself trying to concoct a plan of action.
I wasn’t given long to think before the radio in the van crackled to life, startling both Sven and myself. “Attention all True Exterminators! The truth has come out about the taint in our midst! For too long we have lived with its danger in our presence! If any of you still hold the safety of The Herd in your hearts, come join us so we may burn ALL the predator taint from this District! Rendezvous at Vulen’s apartment complex, we shall start our cleansing there!”
The name of one of my landlords sparked familiarity in my mind. They had been working to build a series of new apartments to add to his old, and if I remembered, had agreed to house the Gojid refugees. The Gojid! Paly was housed with them!!
In an instant, I reached into the van and grabbed Sven by the arm. He tried to pull away, but my grip was too strong. “Sven! They’re gonna kill the Gojid! They’re gonna burn Paly!”
He finally managed to shake himself free as my paws became jittery from stress. “I gotta save my girlfriend! She’s in a facility! I gotta save her!”
“But they’re gonna burn people here!” I protested, “we have to do something! We need- We need People who can fight them! Kaeden! I need to get Kaeden! We can save them!”
I pulled myself away from the van and spotted Anso nearby. He must have had to go through the gate, but this was good timing. I pointed a claw at him. “Do Not Let Him drive off before I get back!”
I didn’t give him, nor the Exterminators who had recovered from their shock, time to ask questions. Paly was in danger, as were who knew how many others. I faintly heard my data pad chime from within my shoulder bag, the signal my heart was beating too fast, but I couldn’t deal with it right now. I could get the heart rate under control during the drive. Right now I needed Kaeden, he knew how to fight! How to save people when others were trying to kill them!
My paws guided me and I was back in the cafeteria before I knew it. Some of the crowd had dissipated, but Kaeden and Vichee were still in the same corner I had left them in, but with their Venlil friends now joined. Without leaving time for protest, I grabbed Kaeden’s arm and pulled him away. I heard Vichee squawk behind me, but I was in too much of a hurry. I can’t let her get hurt. I Won’t.
Kaeden started to slap my arm as I dragged the soldier across the lobby. “Tarlim! What the fuck are you doing?? What’s going on?”
“No time, they’re going to burn everyone,” I breathlessly said as I burst the facility doors open to get him to the van.
“What? Who?” Kaeden questioned, still resisting my pull. I could hear a tinge of worry in his voice, and I knew he would understand. Anso looked back from his position as he heard my approach, and upon seeing me dragging Kaeden along, he grew visibly concerned.
“On the radio, something about True Exterminators,” I attempted to explain to him as we neared the gate doors. This time, I simply spread them apart with my free paw, metal screeching against itself as the gate was forced open. “They’re going to burn every cured species they can find, and That Means Paly. I Won’t Let Them.”
Kaeden had stopped struggling as I explained the bare essentials to him, and once we approached the van, he finally had enough sense to ask the right questions. “So what exactly is the plan to stop them? We’re strong, sure, I could probably take most of them. But just two of us against a wall of those flamers?”
“Not two,” I corrected, letting go of his arm and throwing open the back doors of the van. Still seated in the drivers side was Sven, who looked back once he heard me permit entrance into the back. “We have him too.”
“Wh- the LARPer??” Kaeden asked incredulously. I wasn’t familiar with the term he used, but his tone told us all we needed to know. Sven’s eyes narrowed at the perceived insult, but Kaeden continued. “Do either of you have any formal military training?? Rushing down there is only going to get you both killed along with the others! For fucks sake, slow down! We need a plan!”
“T-There won’t be t-time f-for one,” a voice peeped in from behind us. We all turned to face the source, and we found it was the Venlil Exterminator. They recoiled under the sudden gaze of our entire party, but they managed to continue. “I-I recognized the v-voice. It w-was one of the n-new recruits. They m-might as well be Y-Yulpa. If you w-want to stop them, it’s now or n-never.”
We all stared at them for a moment in disbelief that they’d willingly hand over that information to us. They were Exterminators, weren’t they? They should be allied with the voice on the radio! Kaeden, after considering the information, gave voice to my confusion. “And why are you telling us this? You’re an exterminator, shouldn’t you be trying to help them?”
“M-My husband is the Krakotl that was in the van with me!” They yelled back, stamping their footpaw on the ground in agitation. “I-I don’t care what his ancestors did a t-thousand years ago, I will not stand for those zealots burning who knows how many people! We’re not all the same, h-human!”
I was taken aback by their words. I had given up hope that there were any redeemable souls amongst the ranks of those silver-suited brahkasses, but living proof of the contrary stood before us. Their breathing was only matched by mine as my pad continued to chime in my pack. Maybe there’s hope after all.
Kaeden started frantically looking all around, his focused gaze falling on the facility, the exterminator in front of us, and the rising smoke in the distance. After a moment's hesitation, he growled to himself and shook his head. “Fine! Fucking- if you want to prove you’re different, you and your partner stand guard at the gate! They’ll probably try to send a division here, so keep on guard! And for the love of God, go ask for help if that happens!”
My tail wagged behind me as I interpreted what that meant. “So you’ll help us, Kaeden?”
He paused for a second, an agonizing second as he fully took in the situation in his mind. But ultimately, he nodded. “Let’s go, we can figure things out along the way.”
Seizing the moment, Anso quickly jumped into the van and pushed Sven out of the driver's seat, much to their visible frustration. Kaeden quickly hopped into the passenger seat, leaving me with the problem of finding a space that would fit me. I stepped over to the back of the van and threw the doors open.
The flamers and their fuel tanks were useless to us, easy to toss all three sets out onto the ground behind me. I made sure that the flamers were disabled first, of course. Just had to snap the pilot lighters and slice a hose with my claw. Even if these two said they weren’t like these “True Exterminators” I didn’t trust them one bit. I crawled inside the cramped vehicle and wiggled myself to close the doors behind me.
As I got myself settled, I watched as the Venlil Exterminator started to inspect the destroyed remains of their weapons. I squinted a glare at them and positioned myself so they couldn’t enter with me. “You two aren’t coming,” I hissed. “You know why you’re not. Try anything with the humans, and they will stop you.”
I slammed the doors shut as their expressions fell, just in time for Anso to get the van into gear. I curled myself up against the wall of the van, watching out the back window as we sped down the road. We were on our way now. On our way to save Paly and all the people gathered because their ancestors ate meat. My heart hammered in my chest, but I would need to control it for what we were about to do. I needed to focus. I needed to breathe. I needed to be calm.
Focus. Breathe. Calm
Focus.
Breathe.
Calm…
{-ALERT: Automatic Annotation Detected - Switching Transcription Subject-}
{-Loading…Playback Ready-}
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Memory Transcription Subject: Sol-Vah, Fleeing Predator. Date [Standardized Human Time] October 31st, 2136
My legs couldn’t carry me anymore. I had to keep going, but I didn’t have the strength. My pants became wheezes as my body struggled to keep up with the physical exertion of running almost halfway through town. I hadn’t even looked up before now, at least with eyes not blinded by tears. The pain of Mute’s rejection still stung in my soul, a pain so visceral it threatened to rip me apart worse than any Arxur. Protector, what did I do to deserve this? Is there even a Protector, or did the Federation just- just make that up?
I didn’t have time to think about that now, I needed to get to the office. From what little I caught of the broadcast, Nikonus had said they saved us before. I knew what it likely was, but…I was desperate. I just wanted to go back home and have him embrace me like he did before. The safety and love I had felt from him was still fresh in my mind, and if there was any chance I had to get it back?
I’ll happily take it.
As I approached the office, however, something seemed off. I could smell soot in the air, but not the kind of soot that came from our flamers. This was- was…dirtier smelling, as if the fuel had been impure. Upon looking up, however, I saw something that made my stomach drop. A huge plume of smoke, billowing up into the sky. It shadowed the sun itself with its immensity and hate. Did the Exterminators burn more drugs? Or…or…
I felt a renewed vigor as I started to run towards the plume, hoping against hope that I was wrong. As soon as I turned the corner, though, my worst fears were realized. Where the office once stood now sat a burning stack of glorified rubble, every single window in sight shattered and multiple holes in the outer walls. The building was split, it was as if a giant knife had come down and sloppily sliced off its front half to spill flaming debris everywhere.
I stood in front of the building I had once called my home, surrounded by screams and the awful sound of flames roaring. I knew now there was no hope of salvation, no way this could ever be undone. I would never be able to go back to the way things were, never feel the happiness I had for that brief time. I was doomed to this life, abandoned by my love, and forced to live as an abomination devoid of a home.
I suppose that’s all a predator like me deserves.
[First]- [Prev]- {Next Story!!}
You read it right: This is going to be the final chapter of "Of Giants and Journalists." With the conclusion of Sharnet and Vekna's adventure, we will now take the time to show how this announcement has affected our characters and the galaxy at large. We're excited to announce our new series, Nature of a Giant: Aftermath! This series will not be quite as in-depth temporally as Of Giants and Journalists was, mainly because not as much will be happening in as short of a time. Rest assured, though, there will still be plenty of action across the board! You just won't have to deal with over half the story only covering a week of time!
In that vein, we are also excited to announce we are working on another bonus series, one that was teased a long time ago, Venric Lawven: Legal Legend! It will be filling the gap for content while we work on the first few chapters of Aftermath to make sure the scenes are as quality as they deserve, but will have a reduced upload schedule to once a week to accommodate for writing two series at once. On behalf of both of myself and , we'd like to thank all of our readers for sticking with us on this journey. It's hard to believe this series has been going on for over a year in one form or another, but I wouldn't have it any other way! Thank you all again for your continued support, and we look forward to seeing you again with Legal Legends! And then...
The Aftermath!!

1. Be active and quick to reply( if sent you will be replaced)
2. Send samples w/ ASL
3. At anytime the group can vote you out for your trash

Just got a couple of quotes from some of the major moving companies, and they were quite high. 17万 and 14万. Only moving a couple of blocks away. They said because it was close they’d use a smaller truck and do many trips back and forth. We have a small apartment (that we are moving from, 2 bedroom but more like a 1.5), they want to send us 50 boxes but I feel like that many boxes, even folded up would have a hard time fitting in here (can’t see us even filling up 30). Anyhow, the plan is we fill the boxes (and unpack them) ourselves and they do the rest.
We have two young kids so we aren’t really in a situation where we can rent a truck and do it all ourselves (one will be at daycare on moving day, but the other will not, still a nursing infant). We will be renovating the new house so there will be a few months we have we could start moving small things (unnecessary for daily life). Anyhow. I may just have to go with it for the 14万 quote. It just seems high. I wanted to ask for advice on here if you think we should try asking a few other different companies or if there was something we could take away from the package that might help reduce cost (or perhaps a way we could prep things to get a more accurate scope of the work at hand and actual cost).
Just trying to process if this actually seems reasonable or if there is a smarter move.
Thanks !

"I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending, saith the Lord, which is, and which was, and which is to come, the Almighty."
Rev. 1:8
"I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. In order for someone to be the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end, he would have to know every little thing from eternity, and also every little thing from eternity. the future, including eternity, who can know such a thing but God? Of course, someone could say that it is, but that would be a lie and it would not be true and only God can claim: "I am the Alpha and the Omega the Beginning and the End" because:
God is omniscient
“Lord! You taste me and know when I sit down and when I stand up; You know my thoughts from afar; When I walk and when I rest, You are around me, and you see all my ways on my tongue, but You, Lord, see, You have already covered me behind and in front and placed Your hand on me. Your knowledge is strange to me, I cannot understand from Your spirit, and where would I flee from Your face, You are there. To descend into hell, to rise on the wings of the dawn, and to move to the end of the sea: And there your hand will lead me, and your right hand will hold me darkness hides me; but even the night is like light around me. Even the darkness will not be eclipsed by you, and the night is as bright as the day: darkness is like light, you created me in my mother's womb, that I am wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, and not a single bone of mine hid from You, although I was woven in the depths of the earth, she saw my embryo all written, and the days were recorded, when they were not yet, how unfathomable are Your thoughts, God! How great are their numbers”
Psalm 139:1-17
In this psalm we see how many facts God knows about us, but that is only a small part because God has far more knowledge about us, but it is practically impossible to express it in words, and here we see that God knows when we sit down, when we stand up, what we do, how we work, he knows all our ways, all our words that we have spoken, he writes that he knows even our thoughts, we can further see that God knows the past, present and future, knows everything about us even before our birth, etc. This clearly indicates that we cannot do anything without God's knowledge, and this applies only to us humans, who are only a small part of God's omniscience.
Here are a few examples that are close to us from life, something that everyone can understand because not all people are scientists or academic citizens, there are far more "ordinary" people, especially throughout history, and the Bible is written in simple understandable language so that everyone can understand him.
And from this it is clearly seen and everyone can understand that God is omniscient.
"There is none holy like the Lord; for there is none other than Thee; and there is no rock like our God. Speak no more haughtily, and let it not come out of your haughty mouth. for the Lord is God who knows everything, and he executes the purposes."
1 Sam.2:2-3
Here, these verses confirm again that the Omniscient God had a practical lesson here, a friendly advice from God, and it applies to our life, it applies to what we do, how we do and what we say, because God knows everything he does to me, so if we persist, we refuse to live according to the will of God, it is our own fault and one day we will bear the consequences for it. Of course, God does not want to force us to do something, it is our choice, but it is great wisdom to listen to the advice that God gives us because God does not want us to perish so that all may live, and that is the meaning of the word "repentance" from 2 Peter.
"The Lord is not late with His promise, as some think He is late, but He is patient with us, because He does not want anyone to perish, but for all to come to repentance.
2 Peter 3:9
God is present everywhere
We said that God is not limited by earthly laws, nor can the essence of God be fathomed. creation, knowledge, giving, forgiveness, salvation, etc.
"But will God really live on earth? Here, the sky and the heavens above the heavens cannot contain You, let alone this home that I am building".
1 Kings 8:27
"For His eyes are turned to the ways of men and He sees all their steps. There is no darkness or shadow of death where those who do iniquity can hide."
Job 34:21-22
"Where would I go from Your spirit, and where would I flee from Your face? If I go to heaven, You are there. To go down to hell, there you are. To rise on the wings of the dawn, and move to the end of the sea: And there Your hand will lead me, and Your right hand will hold me. To say: Yes if the darkness hides me; but the night is also like light around me. Even the darkness will not be darkened by You, and the night is as bright as the day: darkness is like light. For You created what is in me, you formed me in my mother's womb. I praise You, that I am wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, and my soul knows it well. Not a single bone of mine has hid from You, even though I was created in secret, woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my embryo, in Your book it was all written, and the days were recorded, when there were none of them yet."
Ps. 139:7-16
"The eyes of the Lord are everywhere, seeing the bad and the good."
Proverbs 15:3
"Am I God from near, says the Lord, and am I not God from afar?" Can someone hide in a secret place so I don't see them? Speaks the Lord; do I not fill heaven and earth? Speaks the Lord.”
Jer. 23:23-24
"If they bury themselves in the lowest part of the earth, from there my hand will take them; and if they go up to heaven, I will take them down from there; And if they hide on the top of Carmel, I will find them and take them from there; and to hide before my eyes at the bottom of the sea, there I will command the serpent to bite them"
Amos 9:2-3
"And there is no substance unknown before Him, but everything is naked and exposed before the eyes of the One to whom we speak."
Hebrews 4:13
God is almighty
In the Bible, we find through different time periods and different manifestations of God's omnipotence, so we will mention some.
We see from the Bible that Abraham was 99 years old, but that he had no offspring, and on one occasion God appeared to Abraham and said:
"And when Abraham was ninety-nine years old, the Lord appeared to him and said to him: I am God Almighty, live according to my will, and be honest. And I will make a covenant between me and you, and I will greatly multiply you. And Abraham fell prostrate. And the Lord spoke to him again and said: From me here is my covenant with you that you will be the father of many nations."
Gen.17:1-4
We further see that Avram was not really sure about that, so he thought that he would never have children with his wife Sarah
"Then Abraham fell on his face and laughed, saying in his heart: When will a son be born to a man of a hundred years? And Sarah? Will a ninety-year-old woman give birth?"
Gen.17:17
And here we can see God's omnipotence, because he told Abraham something that was not very clear to the human mind, but it was very clear to God, that's why he said it to Abraham. We later see from the Bible that this promise was fulfilled, and it was fulfilled because God is omnipotent because He possesses all the knowledge and then it is no problem to fulfill the given promise. This or a similar promise can only be given by God because he is omnipotent, and let's imagine that now we humans make a promise about something that will happen in the future. That promise may happen by chance, or only one part of it may come true, or it may not happen at all, we don't know, but God is omniscient and omnipotent, and when he makes promises, he fulfills them.
We can see the fulfillment through the Bible, but here is just one verse.
"The tribe of Jesus Christ, son of David, son of Abraham"
Mtt. 1:1
Next we have the event when the Lord sent Moses to Egypt to lead the people of Israel out of slavery.
Here we can see that God appears to Moses as God Almighty and not under some other name.
"God is still speaking to Moses and said to him: I am the Lord. And I appeared to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob by the name God Almighty, but by my own name, Lord, I would not be known to them."
Exod.6:2-3
The next example is from John's revelation, where we have a scene in heaven where four living beings praise the Almighty God, and in order for someone to be omnipotent, he must possess the power that sustains everything, and such power is possessed only by the Almighty God.
"And after this I heard a great voice of many people in heaven saying: Alleluia! Salvation and glory and honor and power to our Lord;
Rev. 19:1
,, And I heard as the voice of many people, and as the voice of many waters, and as the voice of strong thunders, saying: Hallelujah! For the Lord God Almighty reigns."
Rev. 19:6
It says that the Lord God is glorified in heaven, who is omnipotent and who reigns, and in the Gospel of Luke we can see from where the Lord reigns.
"The Son of Man will sit at the right hand of the power of God."
Luke 22:69
Therefore, the Lord is on the right side of the power of God and reigns from there, it is written about this:
"...All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me."
Matt. 28:18
The Lord reigns because He is El Shaddai or God Almighty. God possesses infinite power or power that is eternal and has no end, and the part of the prayer "Our Father" reminds us of this.
,,...Because Your kingdom, power, and glory are yours forever. Amen"
Matt. 6:13
God can use this force at his discretion without any trouble or difficulty to create something as in the past when he created the earth and everything living on it or as he is creating today or as he will create in the future.
"Ah, Lord, Lord! Behold, You created the heavens and the earth with Your great power and Your uplifted arm; nothing is difficult for You."
Jer. 32:17
,,He made the earth by his power, established the world with his wisdom, and scattered the heavens with his understanding; When he utters his voice, the waters roar in the heavens, he raises steam from the ends of the earth, he sends lightnings with rain, and he brings forth the wind from his stables."
Jer. 10:12-13
Humans are very intelligent beings and practically they can create anything they want up to certain limits, but in creation we read that God used only a word and it was created, he did not need any material like we need to create something and there is another proof that God is almighty.
,, And God said: Let there be light. And there would be light"
Gen.1:3
"By the word of the Lord the heavens were created, and by the spirit of His mouth all their hosts"
Psalm 33:6
In the Gospel according to Matthew, we read about how only the word of God is needed to heal a person and the disease is defeated, God does not need to be
,,.And the captain answered and said: Lord! I am not worthy that you enter under my roof; but just say the word, and my servant will be healed"
Matt. 8:8
Although God with his power has unlimited possibilities, he will never use his power in such a way as to be in conflict with other attributes of God. We have an example in the confrontation of the Lord Jesus with the cross where Jesus could only say a word and angels would be there who could destroy the whole world and not just the enemies who nailed him to the cross.
"Or do you think that I cannot now beg my Father to send me more than twelve legions of angels?"
Mtt. 26:53
If it had happened that way, it would have contradicted the Father's will and the intention with which the Lord Jesus came to earth, and then Jesus would not have been able to say:
"I glorified You on earth; I've done the job you gave me to do"
John 17:4
Here we see that God uses his almighty power for his glory to fulfill God's plan because what he intended must be and nothing but the will of God can change that plan.
"The Lord of hosts swore, saying: Indeed, it will be as I have planned, and as I have planned it will be done."
Isaiah 14:24
God has planned in advance how the nations will receive the Word of God and it is written about in the Acts of the Apostles where it is said that the evangelizers will receive the power of the Holy Spirit and then practically no one will be able to stop them in that work until they fulfill the activities that God has planned.
"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit descends on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria and there to the ends of the earth."
Acts 1:8
And finally, let's mention something that hasn't happened yet, but it will happen when the Almighty God will say the Word again and it will be what is written in the revelation and after that what we read in Isaiah.
"And out of His mouth came a sharp sword, to slay the Gentiles with it; and He will strike them down with a rod of iron; and He treads on the cauldron of wine and hearts and the wrath of God Almighty."
Rev. 19:15
"For, behold, I will create new heavens and a new earth,"
Isa. 65:17
Let us also mention that with this power the Lord Jesus defeated Satan in the desert
"Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil. And after fasting for forty days and forty nights, he finally got hungry. And the tempter approached Him and said: If You are the Son of God, say that these stones become bread. And He answered and said: It is written: Man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God. Then the devil took Him to the holy city and placed Him on top of the church; So he said to him: If you are the Son of God, jump down, because it is written that he will command his angels for you, and he will take you in his hands, so that you do not trip over a stone with your foot. And Jesus said to him: But it is also written: Do not tempt the Lord your God. Again the devil took Him and took Him to a very high mountain, and showed Him all the kingdoms of this world and their glory; And he said to him: I will give you all this if you fall down and worship me. Then Jesus said to him: Get away from me, Satan; because it is written: Worship the Lord your God and serve Him alone. Then the devil left Him, and behold, the angels approached and served Him."
Mtt. 4:1-11
Finally, here are a few more verses that confirm that God is almighty:
,, And God said to him: I am God Almighty; grow and multiply; a nation and many nations will become of you, and kings will come from your loins."
Gen.35:11
"For the Lord your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, a great, mighty and terrible God, who does not look at who is who, nor does he accept gifts;"
Deut.10:17
,,And said, O LORD God of our fathers, art not thou God in heaven? and rulest not thou over all the kingdoms of the heathen? and in thine hand is there not power and might, so that none is able to withstand thee?"
2 Chron. 20:6
"From the north it comes like gold; but in God there is a more terrible glory. He is Almighty, we cannot reach Him; he is of great power, but with judgment and great justice he does not torment anyone"
Job 37:22-23
"Look, I am the Lord God of all flesh, is there anything difficult for me?"
Jer. 32:27
"And Jesus looked at them and said to them: With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."
Matt. 19:26
,,And Jesus looked at them and said: With men it is impossible, but not with God: for all things are possible with God."
Mark 10:27
"Because with God everything is possible that he says."
Luke 1:37
We have seen several examples of God's qualities that confirm the verses that the Lord Jesus gave John to write down. The only "Someone" who possesses the qualities that we have studied can say that he is the Almighty, and that is God, the Lord Jesus Christ.
"I am Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End, says the Lord, Who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty."
Rev. 1:8
The verses we have studied should strengthen us in our faith because if God promises something, He surely fulfills it, and in this case it refers to the coming of the Lord Jesus Christ in glory.
God reveals the fulfillment to us in 21 chapters where he says:
,, And he said to me: It is finished. I am Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End. I will give the thirsty from the spring of living water forever."
Rev. 21:6

TW: maybe sorta neglect if you really squint
I am in a little bit of a pickle with my PEM. The best treatment is of course to avoid it altogether, which I've been doing to the greatest extent possible--I've reduced my activities, I pace myself, I try to rest in between heavy activities (ie. I plan my life around opportunities to sit down and rest), and I take breaks when I start to feel malaise-y.
However, when I do get PEM, which is unfortunately unavoidable, I can't take one or more days off to just lay in bed and rest. I'm still living with my mom and going to school, and (a) my mom very much will not let me, and (b) my school has begun to get strict with attendance, punishing people for being absent, and I'm already up to about 10 days absent out of the semester because of this. I'm still in the very early stages of diagnosis/medical help (I've dealt with this for about two years now, but only just seeing my doctor about it now), meaning I can't get a doctor's note or anything quite yet. No matter how much I should stay home and rest, I literally cannot.
I've been trying to get around this by napping during my commute when I feel it coming on, by bringing my hot pack and a giant bottle of Advil with me wherever I go, and going to bed early/sleeping in a half hour later, but it's just not really enough. I'm still relatively mild, where I'm not totally bedbound (if I wasn't actively forced to move despite feeling like death, I would however be housebound), but it still really impacts my life and I know I need to treat PEM as soon as I can to avoid getting worse.
So, my question to you is: alongside resting/staying in bed, what else do you do to treat your PEM? Is there anything you do to improve your rest that I could do (no increasing quantity, but at least quality)? I'm about one bad day away from getting a power wheelchair (or manual wheelchair with power assist, because I'm relatively lucky with how good mine is) to really prevent PEM, but I'm not totally sure how to go about asking my doctor--and what else I can do to treat it when it does come on.
Thanks :)

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Hi, I don’t know what to expect. I sold FBA like 6 years ago for a few months. Never got paid (Small amounts) good health account. I asked to pls close the account, even though they asked me time to resolve, they confirmed to closing it vía mail. Now I want to sell again, so in my understanding to reopen is not possible, the thing is that my loggin for seller was semi-functional, means I loggin with same mail and phone pswd from 6 years ago, (maybe because same as personal account to buy?) well it let me in. Then I was asked to fill all the info (like new seller) id verification, etc. The true I was expecting in all this process to be Able to appeal to reopen, but just got the message that my account is active to sell. I already filled the tax info, the deposit info, and it was accepted. Alll the info from the past is errased except the name I used internally within the platform (I already change it)
Should I contact them? I know they can suspend if it was a new account and some how linked to the old one, but this is not the case… but still I am afraid of future suspension. I was planning to do a new account for an LLC, but it was too risky for any linked information. Sorry for my English not native speaker.

1. Be active and quick to reply( if sent you will be replaced)
2. Send samples w/ ASL
3. At anytime the group can vote you out for your trash

for context, my girlfriend and i are lesbians. my girlfriend's come out to her family and they've been mostly supportive, but i haven't due to the fact that my mom's been more actively conservative and my mother's family is very rural and i fear they may be more traditional about that type of stuff. currently, my girlfriend and i are about 1.2k miles apart, with a one hour time difference, however, over the summer that distance increases to 8.6k miles, and a thirteen hour time difference. i'll be with my maternal side for about a month, and due to them being more rural and traditional, i won't be able to call as much due to worries of my family noticing and i'll have a more inconsistent internet service. i plan on waking up much earlier than i do currently, because i tend to wake up much earlier naturally at my home village (?) which might help us talk significantly more through text but my area's known for heavy storms so that'll still be inconsistent. the worries about communication is making us feel scared of whats to come, whether it be from losing feelings or just not being able to communicate, but i heavily intend on doing my best to make things work, and i gain a more consistent internet connection when i get to my dad's place in about a month and a half. does anyone know of any methods to make a situation like this work? or to make the distance feel less prevalent?

i suspect that the main issues i struggle with are: 1. decision paralysis 2. struggle w imperfection 3. tons of anxiety -> results in ‘lazy’ behaviours as i feel tired and sad all the darn time 4. looking too far into the future and trying to plan things.
i’m lost on what to study at college, and how to overcome my bad habits and become a more functional human being.
ultimately my goals would be to 1. move out of singapore to somewhere bigger & with more work life balance 2. find a partner 3. earn enough money to survive
but at the rate i’m going, i don’t think i’ll achieve these goals because they seem so difficult, especially the first goal of migration.
and for no 2, i feel really lonely all the darn time. my relationship w my family is terrible (mother is depressed and suicidal. dad and her keep lying to each other and i have to keep secrets).
i have a couple of friends i hang out w occasionally but i feel it’s not enough??? i want someone constant in my life.
i’m going for therapy, and also have read loads of self help books such as atomic habits, the paradox of choice etc. and while these books are making me more aware of how i am sabotaging myself, i just can’t put it into action?
i have some really bad habits that started since i was in high school. i feel my anxiety started compounding during this period because i went to a ‘top’ school, and i felt it was the worst decision i ever made. i got rejected by all the extracurricular clubs i wanted, had no friends, and i couldn’t catch up with the work because everyone else was so smart and there was a lot of self directed learning (heck we didn’t even have lectures for chemistry).
oh, and also we were studying other countries’ uni level chemistry/math at high school.
i slept in (couldn’t get up as i felt miserable and lonely when i got up. my dreams were better than my reality), skipped classes etc etc.
i repeated 1 year, and also repeated the same habits, but at least i studied at home then, and did really well for my finals.
after that, i had a lot of anxiety on choosing where i wanted to study. i decided on a uni in singapore, and i sabotaged myself during that degree because 1. i kept comparing myself to others

1. i kept worrying that i wouldn’t do well enough to do a Masters overseas (so I’ll be stuck in singapore for even longer)
   
2. i kept worrying i wouldn’t do well enough academically to do an exchange programme
   

i ended up dropping out of that school and now i need to reapply to another school.
thereafter, i started a job at a company, but i feel that im sabotaging myself again. i’m not proactive, and im letting my bad habits of being late for work or skipping work start again. i also exaggerated in my resume, and im beginning to face the consequences. my manager is getting really annoyed at my inefficiency. (AS SHE SHOULD). now i want to redeem myself and buck up.
and in terms of studies, i can’t decide what course i want to study because i don’t even know what i want to do in the future.
and i don’t even know whether i want to study in singapore and save some money, or if i should splurge and study abroad. (im privileged that my fam can afford it so i wouldn’t
and if i should study abroad, WHERE? i have so many choices.
how do i improve myself? how do i overcome my bad habits? HOW DO I OVERCOME MY ANXIETY AND Misery?
ANY ADVICE WOULD BE GREAT. I’ve been sabotaging myself for the past 3 years and i want to stop it.
on a related note, i am considering taking another gap year to do a working holiday in australia.
but i’m just scared that by doing so, i’m just delaying my decision on what to study (and thus giving into my indecision). because there’s no perfect decision and i am just delaying my decision again.
and, singaporean unis don’t allow us to defer our studies for a gap year. so i may not have my offer anymore. and i don’t know if i’ll get offered a place there anymore.
also, im already struggling so much with lethargy and laziness in an OFFICE JOB. I don’t know if working 6 days/week at Mac Donald’s to survive living alone in australia will make my anxiety even worse.
also, my parents are funding my education, and when i decided to take my 1st gap year after dropping out, they kept scolding me on how I AM chronologically behind my peers by 2 years, and that at the rate i’m going i’ll never go to college etc etc.
and some context, trades are paid 💩 in singapore. to have a decent income here, i NEED a degree. even if i were to study an arts degree, that’s better than being degree less.
with a degree, i’ll definitely be able to find a job. it’s just whether the job has good work life balance, and whether it can help me achieve my dream of living abroad
thanks.

1. Foster a Proactive Mindset

Risk management isn't just about responding to crises as they arise; it's about anticipating them before they happen. To integrate risk management into your corporate culture, encourage a proactive mindset among your team. This means nurturing an environment where foresight and forward-planning are valued above all. Equip your staff with the tools and knowledge to identify potential risks early on. By holding regular training sessions on risk assessment and mitigation, employees can become adept at spotting warning signs and taking preventative action.
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1. Cultivate Open Communication

A culture that thrives on open communication is less prone to the perils of unforeseen risks. For risk management to be truly effective, everyone from top-tier executives to the newest recruits must feel comfortable voicing concerns and sharing insights. Establish a clear protocol for reporting potential risks, ensuring there are no barriers to communication. Celebrate transparency by highlighting instances where employee vigilance prevented a risk from becoming a reality.
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1. Integrate Risk Awareness Into Decision-Making

Decisions are the drivers of success for any business, but they also open the door to possible risks. Embed risk considerations into the decision-making process by incorporating risk-benefit analyses in planning sessions. When discussing future strategies or projects, require team leads to present not only the expected outcomes but also the associated risks and their proposed mitigation plans. This will not only help safeguard against potential pitfalls but also promote a more analytical approach to strategic thinking.
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1. Set the Tone From the Top

The importance of leadership in setting cultural norms cannot be overstated. Leaders who prioritize risk management send a powerful message: risks are taken seriously here. Executives should demonstrate their commitment to risk management by being actively involved in related initiatives. By sharing stories of how risk management has positively impacted the company, leaders can inspire their teams to adopt similar values and behaviors.
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1. Regularly Review and Adapt Your Risk Strategy

In a world that's ever-changing, a static risk management approach will soon fall short. Regularly reviewing and adapting your strategy in response to new market developments, emerging technologies, and evolving threats is essential. Encourage a culture of continuous improvement where feedback on risk management practices is sought and acted upon. This not only keeps your strategy relevant but also reinforces the value placed on risk management within your company culture.
Conclusion
Integrating risk management into your corporate culture doesn't happen overnight. It's a gradual process that requires intention, effort, and consistency. By embracing these five practices, you’re equipping your business with a solid foundation to face uncertainties. Remember, in today's dynamic business landscape, those who plan for the unexpected are the ones who thrive.
For more information Enterprise And Risk Management about visit here: https://www.k2riskconsulting.com/post/5-key-steps-to-develop-an-effective-risk-management-plan

1. Be active and quick to reply( if sent you will be replaced)
2. Send samples w/ ASL
3. At anytime the group can vote you out for your trash

We've been best friends for 10 years, when we met we felt like long lost sisters. We had gone through so many similar things like a similarly shitty childhood, we had the same interests, ietc. We even lived together for 2 years. She is warm, hilarious, kind, and deeply well-intentioned.
Thing is, I genuinely feel like I've grown up a lot more, and she hasn't. Especially since shes moved back with her parents a few years ago, she's mentally like a teenager. She's never earned money/worked, she's never been in a relationship. We both struggle with eating disorders and whilst I've been in extensive therapy and have really fixed my relationship with food and exercise, she's on constant yoyo dieting and has now taken ozempic. She's terminally online as well since lockdown, and speaks like a femcel.
And honestly I'm totally okay with helping her when she's struggling - she's helped me so much before (and this is where the guilt lies). But it's honestly really difficult to hear her voice harmful beliefs I've spent years trying to unpack. I've tried asking her not to talk about it, but it bleeds into everything.
Regarding my 6 year relationship, she's very good friends with my bf too. But twice over the years we lived together, she overheard heated arguments between us (we're both in therapy and this has largely ended, but they were never one-sided). In those times, she came to me after and "comforted" me, but started telling me how she thinks my partner is toxic and an ab-word. I said one disagreement was due to differing memories, and she immediately accused him of "gaslighting". I disagreed with her but I realized it made me quite insecure/anxious, and I didn't want to completely dismiss it bc as a woman you're told to take these things seriously.
What frustrated me is she told ME all this stuff to leave my partner, but never spoke to him, and still treats him like a bff. When my partner encouraged me to make a healthier food choice, she pulled me aside warning me how he was "controlling what I ate" and how it was a "red flag for (toxic behaviour)". And then she proceeded to FALL ASLEEP on him a few hours later and say how much she adores both of us. It made me click that everything she was saying was pop psychology jargon, and she didn't understand the gravity of her words.
I told my bf what was happening and he was furious and deeply hurt. He said he wished she had spoken to him rather than whisper insecurities into my ear and been all buddy buddy with him. Hes planning to confront her next time and wants to cut her off completely.
The realization for me was when we were walking places - she's really quite unfit now, and she would latch onto my arm and force me to help her walk, and fuck me it was exhausting. And I realized that that's what our relationship feels like, a literal ball and chain.
Thing is, I haven't a clue how to end this friendship. I know she's really well intentioned, but it doesn't remove how hurtful she's being, and boundaries aren't working. She has a lot of secrets of mine over the years and I'm worried for her vitriol. And fuck me, I love her, just not this person she's become. I kind of want to ghost, but would that be shitty of me?
Tldr: best friend hasn't really "grown up" and I feel like our friendship is actively harming me and my relationship. Not sure how to end it in a kind way.