4bout me

A quick explanation before the shitty fanfic starts: I started reading Homestuck around 2 weeks ago, after I saw Sarah Z’s video on it. I absolutely loved reading/watching/playing the entire thing, and I wish I had heard about it when there was still a massive community around it. Anyways, I got to the end of Act 7, but I still didn’t quite understand how Lord English was actually, like, defeated? So I started reading the Epilogue, and quickly realized that there was more to the story. However, after reading a certain other long metafictional series (do ya not kennit), I like to think I know when to put a story down. Fool me twice, and all that. Only problem was, I’d already read up to Epilogue Prologue Chapter 2, and I felt bad leaving John and his friends hanging like that. I started them down the road, so if I really wanted them to have a happily ever after, I had to give it to them myself.
So, this ending takes place directly after Epilogue Prologue Chapter 2. I have not read past that point in the “official” story, nor do I intend to. This is my personal canon ending to Homestuck. I hope you read through and enjoy it, so it becomes a little less fake.
Thanks in advance!
> Stop.
John had one foot out the door when he froze. His grip tightened around the edge of the sliding glass door, and he looked outwards, absentmindedly. The sun was rising, and the land seemed to welcome its rays with open arms. Another beautiful day on Earth C.
> Go back.
John tentatively lifts his foot from the balcony and brings it back next to the one still planted inside Rose’s house. The gears in his head begin turning again, but this time in the opposite direction. As he follows his train of thought backwards, he’s struck by an odd feeling that he’s never felt before. It goes against the instinct he’s followed all his life, but it feels… good. No wait, we’re using the term “essential” now. But this doesn’t feel essential -- it feels like the exact opposite of essential. But for some reason, it still feels good.
> Contact your friends.
ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG]
EB: hey jade, are you there?
GG: john!! I was just about to message you!
EB: you were?
GG: of course, dummy! to wish you happy birthday!!!
EB: oh. right.
GG: happy birthday!!!!! <3
EB: thanks, jade.
GG: how are you, john? it’s hard to read your emotions when you always text so blandly.
GG: oh, i know! do you want me to come over for a party, like we used to? dave and karkat aren’t doing anything, so i can bring them too!!
EB: uhh, sure.
GG: :D
EB: wait, no.
GG: D:
EB: something’s come up. can you come to rose’s house? bring dave, too. he should be a part of this.
GG: john, is everything okay?
EB: …
EB: i’m not sure.
EB: i think so. or, i think it will be.
EB: just get here as fast as you can, okay?
GG: already on the way! see you soon!
ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG]
> Confront Rose.
John ascends the stairs to Rose’s bedroom, and knocks on the door. Rose opens it, seeming slightly startled, and more than a bit annoyed.
ROSE: John. You’re still here.
JOHN: yeah.
ROSE: I thought that goodbye would’ve been enough. Do you need another hug to send you off? A loving peck on the cheek, perhaps?
JOHN: um, i mean…
ROSE: I was being sarcastic, John. Get out of my house.
JOHN: …
JOHN: i’m not leaving.
ROSE: …
ROSE: What?
A few hours later, John, Rose, Jade, Dave, Karkat, and Kanaya are all sitting in Rose’s living room. Rose has just finished explaining to the group what John has to do. Everyone sits in silence for a minute, mulling over the situation in their heads. Eventually, the silence is broken.
KARKAT: SO WHAT YOU’RE SAYING IS THAT JOHN HAS TO GO FIGHT KING BREAKFAST OR WHATEVER THE FUCK HIS NAME IS SO THAT WE AREN’T FORGOTTEN BY THE UNIVERSE?
ROSE: Essentially, yes.
JADE: when is he leaving?
ROSE: It has to be today. However, it seems that John is insisting on stretching this out.
KANAYA: What Does That Mean?
ROSE: Ask him yourself, love.
KANAYA: John? When Are You Leaving?
JOHN: i’m not.
Everybody is taken aback by John’s response. Kanaya frowns slightly. Jade looks confused. Dave simply nods.
KARKAT: WAIT, WHAT?
JOHN: i’m staying here. i’m not going to re-enter canon.
JADE: but... that means…
KANAYA: We’re Going To Dissipate.
JOHN: yeah.
KANAYA: John, This Doesn’t Seem Like Something You Would Do. It Seems Rather Un-Heroic. Are You Feeling Alright?
KARKAT: YEAH, WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOUR BIG PROTAGONIST ENERGY? YOU CAN’T JUST IGNORE THE HUGE AWFUL MONSTER, YOU HAVE TO GO KICK THE SHIT OUT OF HIM. THAT’S JUST WHAT YOU DO WITH HUGE AWFUL MONSTERS. DAVE, BACK ME UP ON THIS.
DAVE: sorry no can do
KARKAT: YEAH, EXACTLY!
KARKAT: ...
KARKAT: HANG ON, I’M DETECTING A SEVERE LACK OF BACKING UP FROM MY BRO HERE. DAVE, TELL HIM TO GO PUNCH MONARCH 8-BALL IN THE FACE.
DAVE: no
KARKAT: WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO.
DAVE: i agree with john
DAVE: i think he should stay
KARKAT: WELL IF HE DOESN’T FACE THE BIG MAN FOR A LITTLE ONE ON ONE, WHO WILL?
DAVE: none of us
KARKAT: DAVE, YOU’RE NOT MAKING ANY SENSE.
JADE: yeah dave, explain yourself!!
Dave shrugs, and gestures towards John. John takes a deep breath, and elaborates.
JOHN: i think it’s okay if we drift from outside of canon to non-canon.
JOHN: who cares if “the universe” remembers us? what does that even mean?
JOHN: we’ve got each other. we’ve got earth c. we’ve already won!
JOHN: and yeah, maybe things could be better!
JOHN: every day, i wake up feeling like i have no purpose. like the best years of my life are behind me...
JOHN: and you know what, they probably are. we were gods for a day, it’s hard to match that.
JOHN: but i think maybe i just have to accept that everything we did back then, everything that happened, isn’t our responsibility anymore.
JOHN: we don’t need the universe to tell us what to do, how to act in order to be “relevant”.
JOHN: i think this is the final test, to see if we’ve really grown up.
JOHN: maybe the hardest challenge is moving on, and creating our own purpose.
Everyone falls silent again. Rose and Kanaya glace at each other nervously. Dave smiles at John.
DAVE: fucking poet over here
DAVE: couldn’t match that flow if i tried
KANAYA: Yes, That Prose Was Almost As Good As A 6 Sweep Wiggler’s Private Thought Book.
KARKAT: SHUT UP KANAYA, JOHN HAS A POINT.
KANAYA: Don’t Tell Me He Actually Managed To Convince You With That.
KARKAT: WHY SHOULDN’T I BE CONVINCED? HE’S TELLING IT LIKE IT IS.
KANAYA: He’s Waxing Philosophical At Best. We’re Taking About Our Reality Being Forgotten.
KARKAT: FORGOTTEN BY WHO? BY US? I DON’T FEEL LIKE I’M FORGETTING WHO I AM, OR WHAT’S IMPORTANT TO ME. I STILL REMEMBER WHO I LOVE, AND IT’LL TAKE MORE THAN SOME ABSTRACT IDEA OF “CANON-NESS” TO TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME.
DAVE: heh
JADE: aww!
KARKAT: SHUT UP! I’M TRYING TO BE A LEADER HERE.
JOHN: you’re doing great, karkat.
KARKAT: THANK YOU! NOW SHUT UP.
KARKAT: WHAT I’M TRYING TO SAY IS, I THINK JOHN IS RIGHT. IDIOT MC POOL CUE DOESN’T MATTER ANYMORE. WHAT MATTERS IS WHAT WE HAVE HERE, AND WHAT WE DO WITH IT. WHO THE FUCK CARES WHAT THE UNIVERSE THINKS?
JADE: yeah!! we still have our entire lives ahead of us!
JADE: and john, you’re being super melodramatic when you say that you can’t top being a god for a day.
JADE: you’re forgetting that we’re still gods, dummy!
JADE: we can do whatever we want, and i think the best thing to do right now…
JADE: is to celebrate john’s birthday!!!!
KANAYA: NO!
The group of friends jump at Kanaya’s unexpected outburst. She looks distraught, and is holding Rose’s hand so tight it looks like it could break any moment.
ROSE: Dear…
KANAYA: The Headaches Are Going To Keep Getting Worse, Aren’t They?
ROSE: …
Rose raises her other hand to her temple, and closes her eyes. Her mouth is drawn in a grimace. Kanaya looks around the circle, her frantic eyes coming to a rest on John.
KANAYA: It Has To Be Today.
ROSE: … john...
KANAYA: Come On Love, Let’s Get You Lying Down. I’ll Talk Some Sense Into Him, Don’t Worry.
With that, the couple stand, and Kanaya leads Rose to the bedroom. John, Jade, Dave, and Karkat all exchange nervous glaces.
JADE: what’s wrong with rose?
JOHN: her visions are getting worse.
KARKAT: VISIONS? IS THE WORLD ENDING AGAIN?
JOHN: err… no. it’s more like… her eyes are opening, in other realities.
JOHN: she’s gaining awareness of her other selves. the doomed ones.
DAVE: …
JADE: is there anything we can do?
JOHN: i… don’t know. if i travel back into canon, maybe… but, there’s no guarantee.
Dave stands up, and heads toward the front door.
JADE: dave? where are you going?
DAVE: i just need a minute
DAVE: i’ll be right back
KARKAT: IS EVERYTHING OKAY?
DAVE: yeah
DAVE: just sit tight
DAVE: “love”
Karkat’s face turns bright red. Dave exits Rose’s house.
The sun is high overhead and lazily drifting westward as Dave walks. He glances upward, and begins muttering to himself.
DAVE: you sir are going the wrong direction
DAVE: i know i havent used these in a long time
DAVE: but they should still work
He lifts his hands, revealing two red turntables floating in front of him. He drags his hands along the surface of the disks, and watches as the sun slowly starts to accelerate to the east.
DAVE: there we go
DAVE: hell yeah i still got it
DAVE: lets turn this walk into a rave
At his command, the sun keeps accelerating backwards until it dips under the eastern horizon, and a few moments later, pops back up in the west. Day, night, day, night. The sun goes faster and faster, until eventually the world is flickering by weeks at a time, then months, then years. Suddenly, Dave slams his hands on the turntables. He’s here.
Dave is standing in the middle of a field. Above him, the night sky is filled with blazing stars, painting a picturesque view of the cosmos. Before him, a girl is strapping herself into a jetpack and getting ready for takeoff.
DAVE: hey
DAVE: long time no see
The girl turns toward the sound of his voice. It’s hard to tell from behind her cherry red visor, but she’s surprised to see him.
TEREZI: D4V3
TEREZI: WH4T 4R3 YOU DO1NG H3R3
TEREZI: 1 THOUGHT YOU’D B3 4T JOHN’S HOUS3 ST1LL
DAVE: i am
TEREZI: ...OH
TEREZI: H1 FUTUR3 D4V3
DAVE: hey past terezi
The two stand there awkwardly, not really sure how to proceed.
TEREZI: ST1LL F1GHT1NG THE GOOD F1GHT 4G41NST D34D D4V3S?
DAVE: nah
DAVE: this is actually the first time ive used the turntables since we got here
DAVE: ive wanted to use them for a long time though
DAVE: ever since you left
TEREZI: 4ND HOW LONG WOULD TH4T B3?
DAVE: seven years
TEREZI: OH
TEREZI: …
DAVE: …
TEREZI: 1 DON’T F1ND H3R, DO 1?
DAVE: no you dont
DAVE: not yet, anyway
DAVE: i dont think you ever will
DAVE: i think shes gone
TEREZI: SO TH4T’S WHY YOU’R3 H3R3
TEREZI: TO T3LL M3 NOT TO WAST3 MY T1M3
DAVE: no
DAVE: i know youre still gonna go
DAVE: because you already did
DAVE: i just dont get why
TEREZI: ...
TEREZI: 1 ST1LL H4V3 TO TRY
TEREZI: 3V3N 1F 1T’S NOT GO1NG TO CH4NG3 4NYTH1NG
TEREZI: 1 OW3 H3R TH4T MUCH
TEREZI: 1F 1 DON’T LOOK FOR H3R 1’LL N3V3R FORG1V3 MYS3LF
DAVE: ok
DAVE: i get it
DAVE: but
DAVE: before you go
DAVE: can i ask you some questions?
TEREZI: SUR3
TEREZI: WH4T’S UP
DAVE: you mentioned that your seer of mind abilities let you see your other selves
DAVE: even the retconned one
TEREZI: Y34H
DAVE: can you control it
DAVE: like, can you turn it on and off
TEREZI: 1 GU3SS 1 COULD
TEREZI: 1 DON’T W4NT TO THOUGH
TEREZI: H4V1NG H3R AROUND… H3LPS
DAVE: im not talking about doing it to yourself
TEREZI: OH
DAVE: i dont want to make this more complicated than it needs to be
DAVE: but do you think you could come back on johns 23rd birthday
DAVE: we may need your help
DAVE: and maybe seven years will be enough time to heal
DAVE: or forgive yourself
DAVE: whatever you need to do
TEREZI: …
TEREZI: 1’LL TH1NK 4BOUT 1T
DAVE: cool
DAVE: thanks
TEREZI: 4NYTH1NG 3LS3?
DAVE: no
DAVE: thats it i guess
DAVE: its nice to see you terezi
TEREZI: N1C3 TO S33 YOU TOO, D4V3
DAVE: dont forgot to write
DAVE: and send some cool pictures once you get there
TEREZI: ALR1GHT, 1 W1LL
TEREZI: 4ND DON’T WORRY
TEREZI: 1 WON’T B3 GON3 LONG
Dave: i know
Terezi does one final check over her jetpack. Everything seems to be in order. She flashes a smile towards Dave, and begins the countdown.
TEREZI: THR33!
TEREZI: TWO!
TEREZI: ON3!
DAVE: lifdoff
Terezi flies up into the night sky, while Dave flicks his turntables and begins the walk back to Rose’s house.
One short sun rave later, Dave stands outside Rose’s front door, staring up at the sky. Inside, he can hear Kanaya and Karkat yelling at each other. Their fight is so loud that nobody inside the house hears the blind girl with a jetpack land outside.
DAVE: welcome back
DAVE: how was your flight
TEREZI: 1T W4S F1N3
TEREZI: 1 TOLD YOU 1 WOULDN’T B3 GON3 LONG
DAVE: yeah its only been like two minutes
They smile at each other. Suddenly, Terezi lunges forwards and hugs Dave.
TEREZI: 1 M1SS3D YOU
DAVE: i missed you too
They stand there for a moment, arms wrapped around each other. A loud bang followed by louder shouting from inside the house stirs them from their reunion.
TEREZI: OH D4MN
TEREZI: WH4T’S GO1NG ON 1N TH3R3
DAVE: karkat and kanaya are going at it
TEREZI: SOUNDS PR3TTY S3R1OUS
DAVE: yeah
DAVE: rose is having some serious vision problems
DAVE: like seer visions
DAVE: apparently she can see the doomed versions of herself and theyre going to make her have an aneurysm or some shit
TEREZI: HUH
DAVE: can you help
TEREZI: 1 DON’T KNOW
TEREZI: 1 C4N TRY
DAVE: alright
DAVE: good enough for me
DAVE: lets face the music
​
KANAYA: You’re Not Listening
KANAYA: It Has To Be Today
KANAYA: I Don’t Know What’s Going To Happen But It Won’t Be Pretty
KARKAT: YOU DON’T KNOW THAT!
KARKAT: NONE OF US KNOW ANYTHING, EXCEPT FOR ROSE, WHO REFUSES TO TAKE PART IN THIS CONVERSATION!
KANAYA: She’s Not Well
KANAYA: Don’t Be A Bitch
KARKAT: WELL I’M SORRY, BUT UNTIL I’M TOLD EXACTLY WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN IF JOHN DOESN’T GO, I’M GOING TO INSIST THAT JOHN STAYS RIGHT THE FUCK HERE.
KARKAT: DAVE! WELCOME BACK TO THE PARTY! NOW GET OVER HERE AND BACK ME UP!
DAVE: got it
DAVE: hey is it cool that i brought some backup of my own
KARKAT: AS LONG AS IT ISN’T THE MAYOR, I DON’T WANT HIM TO SEE THIS.
TEREZI: H3Y GUYS
JOHN: terezi! you’re back!
The tension in the room instantly melts as prior worries are temporarily overshadowed by their friend’s return, whom they haven’t seen in person in seven long years. Joyful greetings are exchanged, as well as hugs and a few tears. The sudden shift in conversation even catches Rose’s attention, who ventures out of the bedroom to search out the cause of the commotion.
ROSE: Terezi. What a wonderful surprise.
TEREZI: ROS3! HOW 4R3 YOU?
ROSE: I’ve been better. To what do we owe the pleasure? Did you find Vriska?
The room turns ice cold once more. In their excitement over Terezi’s return, they had all forgotten why she left in the first place.
TEREZI: 4H. NO. 1 TH1NK…
DAVE: …
TEREZI: 1 TH1NK SH3’S GON3
ROSE: Oh, Terezi. I’m so sorry.
TEREZI: Y34H
TEREZI: 1 H34RD YOU W3R3N’T F33L1NG SO HOT 31TH3R
ROSE: No. Just a bad day for Seers, I suppose…
TEREZI: 1 M1GHT B3 4BL3 TO H3LP W1TH TH4T
Before she can respond, Rose raises one hand to her temple again, and reaches out with the other. She loses her balance, but before she hits the ground, Kanaya catches her.
ROSE: Oh… oh dear.
KANAYA: Can You Stand?
ROSE: Yes… I believe so. But there’s no reason to.
ROSE: Please, everyone, sit down. Make yourselves at home. I believe we have much to discuss.
Kanaya leads Rose back over to the couch, and everyone takes their seats again.
ROSE: So. Terezi. What did you have in mind?
TEREZI: D4V3 TOLD M3 TH4T YOU’R3 G41N1NG TH3 M3MOR13S OF YOUR DOOM3D S3LV3S
TEREZI: 1 H4V3 SOM3 3XP3R13NC3 W1TH TH4T
TEREZI: B31NG THE S33R OF M1ND 4ND 4LL
TEREZI: 1T’S K1ND4 MY WHOL3 D34L
TEREZI: 1F YOU W4NT, 1 C4N TRY TO CLOS3 YOUR M1ND TO TH3M
TEREZI: TO TAK3 4W4Y TH3 P41N
ROSE: An interesting proposal.
ROSE: What makes you think I want them to go away?
KANAYA: !!
KANAYA: They’re Hurting You
KANAYA: You Literally Fell Into My Arms Thirty Seconds Ago
ROSE: That doesn’t mean I want them to go away completely.
ROSE: Lessening the pain would be nice. That’s why I take these pills.
ROSE: But I can’t just ignore them.
ROSE: I’m a Seer. Seeing them is my job, and because I can see them, I have a responsibility to help them.
ROSE: I wouldn’t be a very good hero if I just ignored my call to adventure, like John is trying to do.
JOHN: rose…
ROSE: John.
JOHN: …
TEREZI: 1 UND3RST4ND WH4T YOU’R3 TRY1NG TO DO
TEREZI: 1 W4NT TO H3LP TH3M TOO
TEREZI: WHY DO YOU TH1NK 1’V3 SP3NT TH3 L4ST S3V3N Y34RS IN SP4C3
TEREZI: FLY1NG 4ROUND 4 BL4CK HOL3
TEREZI: 4S SOON 4S I GOT TH3R3, 1 KN3W 1 WOULDN’T B3 4BL3 TO F1ND H3R
TEREZI: OR 4NY OF TH3M
TEREZI: TH3Y’R3 4LL GON3
ROSE: Sure, they’re gone now.
ROSE: But they weren’t always.
ROSE: We’re gods, Terezi.
ROSE: We have a responsibility to do everything in our power to help them.
TEREZI: BUT TH3Y’R3 GODS, TOO
TEREZI: TH4T’S WH4T YOU’R3 M1SS1NG
TEREZI: TH3Y’R3 US
TEREZI: 1 C4N S33 H3R 4ND 1
TEREZI: NOT OUR VR1SK4, 4ND NOT TH1S R34L1TY’S M3
TEREZI: SH3’S A VR1SK4 WHO 1S… K1ND
TEREZI: VULN3R4BL3, BUT B3TT3R B3C4US3 OF 1T
TEREZI: 4ND 1’M TH3 R3TCONN3D V3RS1ON OF MYS3LF
TEREZI: TH3 ON3 WHO WROT3 JOHN’S NOT3, TO L34D US H3R3
TEREZI: ...
TEREZI: 1’M W4TCH1NG TH3M D13, ROS3
TEREZI: 1 K33P W4TCH1NG TH3M D13, OV3R 4ND OV3R
TEREZI: TH3Y’R3 TOG3TH3R
TEREZI: TH3Y’R3 H4PPY
TEREZI: 1 F33L TH31R LOV3 4S TH3 VO1D SH4TT3RS 4ROUND TH3M
TEREZI: TH3Y L1V3D GOOD L1V3S
TEREZI: 4ND OUR VR1SK4, WH3R3V3R SH3 1S
TEREZI: SH3 D1D TOO
TEREZI: SH3’S NOT 4 GOOD P3RSON, 3V3N 1 C4N S33 TH4T
TEREZI: BUT SH3’S MOT1V4T3D 4ND STRONG
TEREZI: SH3’S 4 H3RO
TEREZI: SH3 DO3SN’T N33D OUR H3LP
TEREZI: NON3 OF TH3M DO
TEREZI: TH3Y D13D TO G3T US H3R3
TEREZI: TH3Y S4CR1F1C3D TH3MS3LV3S FOR US
TEREZI: TH3Y UND3RST4ND TH4T W3’V3 TR13D TH3 B3ST W3 C4N
TEREZI: 4ND TH3 B3ST TH1NG W3 C4N DO FOR TH3M 1S TO L1V3 OUR L1V3S TO TH3 FULL3ST
TEREZI: W3 W1LL R3M3M83R TH3M
TEREZI: 1SN’T TH4T 3NOUGH?
The sombre clouds over the group of heroes had wet some cheeks as Terezi was talking, but none had dared make a sound that might interrupt her argument. Now, tears fell freely, accompanied by choked sobs. Rose dried her eyes and stared into Terezi’s visor.
ROSE: You’re right. Of course you’re right.
A weak smile graced her face.
ROSE: The Seer of Mind holds higher precedence over such matters than a Seer of Light, naturally.
Rose stood, and carefully made her way to where Terezi was now standing. They embraced one another.
ROSE: thank you, terezi.
TEREZI: no probl3m
Rose stepped back and looked around at the group.
KANAYA: Are You Feeling Okay?
ROSE: Better than okay.
ROSE: The pain is gone. We’re non-canon now.
JOHN: that’s it?
ROSE: That’s it.
JADE: does that mean we can finally celebrate john’s birthday now??
ROSE: Hahaha. Yes, I believe that would be appropriate.
JADE: finally!!! okay, let’s get this place ready for a party!!!!!
A while later, Rose and John are standing out on the balcony. Behind them, the house is a flurry of activity, from baking to putting up banners and balloons. Dirk, Roxy, Jane, Jake, and Calliope have all shown up to help with the preparations. Everyone is excited to be back together under the same roof in what feels like a long time.
The sun is setting, and Rose and John are admiring the view.
JOHN: i’m glad terezi is going to stay this time.
ROSE: It will be nice to see her around. Perhaps I’ll prepare some sort of fittingly sentimental thank you present for rearranging my delicate marbles that had spilled everywhere.
JOHN: come on, don’t be like that.
ROSE: What can I say? Old habits die hard, John.
ROSE: But seriously, thank you for not letting me send you on another magical quest.
ROSE: I’m sorry for being so stubborn about it.
ROSE: I don’t know what I would’ve done if you…
ROSE: ...
JOHN: i wasn’t coming back, was i?
ROSE: …
ROSE: Most likely not, no.
JOHN: thats what i thought.
JOHN: not that i have a problem with going on a suicide mission to save the world.
JOHN: i just wanted to make sure that it was actually, you know, necessary.
ROSE: Essential.
JOHN: yeah.
JOHN: …
JOHN: you really think they’ll be fine without me?
ROSE: Yes. I think they’ll do wonderfully.
JOHN: okay. good.
The sun has already slipped halfway below the horizon. The sky is aflame with stunning reds, oranges, and violets.
JOHN: you know, this sunset reminds me of a book series i read a while back.
ROSE: When have you been known to read books?
JOHN: hey, there’s not much to do in that big old empty house I call home.
JOHN: guy’s gotta have a hobby.
ROSE: I suppose.
ROSE: You know, I was listening when you said you’ve been feeling... purposeless.
ROSE: I had no idea you felt that way.
ROSE: You should call more often.
ROSE: Kanaya and I can come over whenever you want.
JOHN: thanks.
JOHN: i think i’ll take you up on that.
JOHN: either way, i won’t be too lonely there anymore.
ROSE: Oh? Do tell.
ROSE: Does John finally have a special someone in his life?
JOHN: no! it’s not like that.
JOHN: it’s just that, well, since terezi’s back on earth c for good now, and she’s been gone so long, she wasn’t sure where to stay…
JOHN: so, she’s going to stay with me for a while.
A mischievous grin creeps across Rose’s face.
JOHN: what are you smiling about?
ROSE: Oh, nothing. I was just remembering the lessons that Kanaya taught me about a certain subset of troll relationships.
JOHN: what?
ROSE: Perhaps one that errs to a darker, more… romantic quadrant?
JOHN: come on, i already told you it’s not like that! i’m not going to be terezi’s kisnemu… whatever!
JOHN: you’d better not be thinking about playing matchmaker between us.
ROSE: What, me? No! I would never do something like that.
ROSE: (besides, with you two I don’t have to.)
JOHN: what was that?
ROSE: Nothing.
JOHN: uh-huh… anyways, i was talking about this book series.
ROSE: Ah, of course. My apologies. Please, continue.
JOHN: it’s about this cowboy dude, who goes on a quest to climb a tower at the center of the universe.
ROSE: Sounds exciting.
JOHN: it is! anyways, when he finally gets to the tower, it’s in the middle of this huge field of roses during a beautiful sunset, just like this one.
JOHN: i just think it’s a nice scene to have at the end of an adventure.
ROSE: Is that what you think this is? The end of our adventure?
JOHN: it kind of feels like that, doesn’t it?
ROSE: Hmm.
ROSE: What does he find?
JOHN: what?
ROSE: The cowboy. What does he find inside the tower?
JOHN: oh, i don’t know. i didn’t read the epilogue.
ROSE: Hrm.
ROSE: Why not?
JOHN: the author doesn’t want you to. he gives you the choice to keep reading, but he warns you that if you continue, you may not like what you find.
JOHN: it’s like, this is the ending of the book. if you demand there to be more, there can be more, but the consequences are on you.
JOHN: i think the message is supposed to be to take the happily ever after when you find it.
JOHN: the adventure doesn’t last forever.
JOHN: eventually, you win or you lose, and you just have to live with it.
JOHN: that’s what i think, anyways.
ROSE: ...
ROSE: That’s surprisingly insightful of you, John.
ROSE: I’m glad you’re broadening your horizons past mediocre comedy movies of yesteryear.
JOHN: yeah, you can only watch con air so many times, unfortunately.
Behind them, the screen door slides open, and Jade pops her head out.
JADE: okay you guys, we’re ready!! get your butts in here!!!
JOHN: i guess we should go inside, then.
JOHN: are you ready?
ROSE: Yes, I think I am.
ROSE: Happily ever after awaits.
Rose takes John’s hand, and the two go inside to celebrate the young man’s birthday.
THE END

This devolved into about 3000 words so I'm making it its own post.
Well, I shouldn't look this in depth again at an update! FUCK! ok, long post go! Spoilers ahoy! Goes by page number:
>263-264
Dim shot of Detritus slowly coming into focus. A cool transition from the last chapter when yiffy was knocked out and Terezi is coming BACK into consciousnesses
>265-266
Terezi sums up all of Homestuck² pretty well as well as the yiffy debacle (and also herself. NO! TEREZI ;_; )
>267
Just a cool shot. Though really, wtf happens when she sleeps now? I know just "normal" dreams, but this is Homestuck where the whole conceit is that they ARE fictional characters, so nothing is ever just one thing. Therefore: i want to know what she was dreaming? In anime? Of Yiffy? Of the Candy Timeline? That June?? What?
>268
Terezi talking to herself...I assue she is pretending to talk to June. That or she has a Brain Ghost June in her head and seeing as she is a seer of mind I wouldn't rule it out. She also refears to herself as "WE" if she still has John in the card than that is still technically true...
We got a name for those funky trees: AMBULATORS And they seem to be really REALLY closely linked to June like nobodies business. Made up of "TUB3LIKE GROWTHS THROUGH WH1CH 41R M4Y TR4V3L" like June being conceived like an empty vessel and going whatever direction the wind/plot takes her. The get around and walk due to the wind...so their not ALIVE but they do move....that is so disturbing in the context of June BLEAH!

"TH1S PROC3SS, WH1L3 M4J3ST1C, C4N H4V3 DR4ST1C 3FF3CTS ON TH3 PL4NTS SURROUND1NGS"

more June. Even if it's cool to see June get about and do amazing stuff, she can affect everyone else in very drastic ways. I'm looking at you retcon.
>269 (nice)
Hehe, look it terezi! she so smal-what the FUCK ARE THOSE???!? Those aren't native inhabitants!! Ok, Rose did some Alchemy and made some monstrosity out of...what looks like,
1)Head and Mouth - Liv Tyler 2nd form...AKA the bunny SHE grew up with...also The bunny on the FIRST loop around time AKA Roses gift to June for his 13th b-day...
2) Eyes - Vodca Mutini but colored Red. Reminds me of the "Robo" color skeme
3) Body - Looks like a Troll Grub but I could be wrong...
4) Legs - Share the lalonde: pink-purple pattern that was on roxy's scarf that she stole form Beta-Rose...the legs themselves I'm not sure on...

"CONST4NT SH1FT1NG OF TH3 SO1L CR34T3S L4RG3 CR3V4SS3S 4ND R4V1N3S 4LMOST 1NST4NTLY, R3D1R3CT1NG W4T3RCOURS3S 4ND 4LT3R1NG TH3 L4NDSC4P3 OV3R 4ND OV3R W1TH 34CH STR1D3"

Symbolizing the story itself? How that with every new concept or idea, the previous interpretation of Homestuck is changed/altered with every new thing. It also can never fully be answered because every new idea adds more questions than it does answers. A quest in futility. If this planted had a map, you could never keep up with all the shifting terrain. Again, a lot like homestuck.

"1T S33MS UND1STR3SS3D BY TH3 D4NG3ROUS S1TU4T1ON 1N WH1CH 1T F1NDS 1TS3LF"

Maybe they are just, bottling up and pretending things are AOK! Thanks Terezi! Everything is juuuuusussttttt fiiiiiinnnneeeee~ god this sucks

"Calls this place home"

sigh if only. Much like everyone else in this story, while they were created to live here, it isn't the best fit...Can they really call any place home? [the more I look for stuff in this update the more depressed I get about June and Terezi SIGH]

"1 WOND3R WH4T TH3Y T4ST3 L1K3 >:O"

Rose flavored. You should have a good idea what that tastes like now huh terezi? >;]
>270
...a cotton candy....Charles dutton creature??? I don't...what?
The body also reminds me of those FLARP things that Tavros used to make that Not pokemon thing that one time. Imagine one of those coming out of Charles Duttons face.
(Terezi! You are adorable in this pic how??)
>271
Hmm! ~I wonder who could have made THIS one~dirk. it was dirk.
It's a robot horse thing with a unicorn horn. Also: grass 4 dayz
>272
Does anyone remember that one Fan adventure where terezi was fighting dinosaurs? I do. Terezi had to take down a t-rex i think? And CD was there to be was to awesome for CD and took out a pterodactyl that had grabbed her? Also lost an arm. And then there was a weird Intermission with the devil on stage at a theater and Terezi was there in the audience and began shooting at him with a fucking gun?? Yeah that was weird.
It looks like a combo between a scale mate, some cherub thing, and that prokgrist hollow for the body.
Not much else to say but tiny batman terezi. i think redglare made a similar pose once?
>273
DRAGON! Or close enough. Terezi likes it.
1) Body - made out of one of those futa-span things that were like, grub videogames that Sollux had with slime blood i thing.
2) Wings - probably just using Terezi's as a templete
3) Face - ...idk...smuppet?
>274
That is a rose creation but I'm going to imitate Terezi and just keep walking and ignore it.
>275
And that one is Dirk's.
I thought that the narrator might have been Rose but the first line makes me think Dirk. I can't tell

"The whole landscape is fighting her."

The whole of Homestuck IS in fact, fighting against Terezi. Damn.

"The creature is too strange for her to get a full picture of it like this. The problem with using smells to navigate the world is that the unfamiliar can be difficult to parse. Every whiff over her shoulder gives her another blurry glimpse of what this beast is."

I feel this is a metaphor for something but IDK what.

"Rose shared her books with Terezi when she was on the ship, and her favorite by far was the compendium of the zoologically dubious."

Rose and Terezi read tentacle stuff together! YEAHS! This makes me happy.
>276 (Last page and longest.)
Oh no! Terezi's cool new suit! :(
Tentacles, tentacle everywhere.
OH! The creature HAS the tenticalls.....OH...

" gastric sack."

...what is a-?!...you know what, I don't want to know.

"A cold flame that instantly burns itself out, and all of a sudden she is just deeply, impossibly, indescribably tired. Down to her bones."

Just let her rest DIRK!! She's so tired of everyone's BULLSHIT!!!@@@ GAHH! Poor baby! :((

"Honestly, she really has no right to feel this... this fatigue."

No right?? She can feel however the fuck she wants to!

"This crushing embrace of endless struggle. Terezi Pyrope has not had an easy life by anyone’s standards, but so much of her thirteen or so sweeps has just been standing still. Waiting. Huddling blind and half dead in her recuperacoon, the sopor burning the hideous mess that the sun has left her eyes, alight with a hatred so layered and intense that she couldn’t make sense of it. It was horrifying--that pain or fury--but also, admittedly, very boring. Then there were the sweeps on the meteor, the endless, gelatinous stretches of time in the chaos of the outer ring, searching for... Vriska, ostensibly, but also maybe just for a chance to dry up. To disappear. Go extinct."

sad concern for Terezi noises

"But sometimes it feels like none of them are going to get out of this, alive or dead."

I...r u projecting dirk or...fuck...Terezi... ;_;

"> STOP."

Oh those are back. That's cool. Thanks Rose.

"She more gets the impression that they are being said, hanging in the air around her like sound effects in a comic book."

Hehe, nice callback to homestuck proper. Of course she could "see" those

"but it is absolutely unable to disobey The Word" Well that isn't ominus at all! OK two things:

1) Does this make all there creations act like NPC's like the caprations? Because you can order those guys around no problem like how she is doing.
2) The Word --- just...That is so...did you have to put it so biblical Dirk? And or Rose? As in "The Word was God" like...word of God? God in terms of Narrative? Fuck, that is a loaded phrase...at least we have something now to call that particular construct?

"TH1S SUCKS"

Thank you Terezi. We all feel that.

"TEREZI: 4M 1 1N F4CT CURR3NTLY B31NG H3LD 1N YOUR V3RY T3NT4CL3S >:000
ROSE: I am devastated to report that those are really more vines than tentacles, and even worse, they aren’t mine."

This is everything that I ever wanted. That one tweet about Rose mad that Kanaya does not have a tenticaldick is somewhat canon. Also: Rose want to wrap Terezi in tenticals and Terezi wants her too....that's canon....dubious or not.....I love that.

"I am holding the creature with the terminal l we have at our disposal in the lab,"

terminal 1? is there more than one than?

"but as I’m sure you can recall from your brief tenure as Dave’s patron, those commands can be overruled."

Is she calling back to that one time when Dave was being just spouting off AR bullshit because Dave has no filter? Because if it is....Terezi X AR might still be in the cards folks!!! (Aimless Renigade AR, not the Dirk AR)

"ROSE: Your tentacle dreams will be forced to remain the stuff of fantasy, for now."

Damn.

"TEREZI: WH4T DO YOU M34N 'P4TRON'?
ROSE: The human you took it upon yourself to troll. The one of us you chose to enact your revenge on.
TEREZI: ...1 N3V3R R34LLY THOUGHT OF 1T L1K3 TH4T"

Shit, was the "patron troll" phrase only used by AH? They might have never referred to themselves as that in canon.

"TEREZI: NOW TH4T 1 TH1NK 4BOUT 1T 1 GU3SS W3 D1D SORT OF PL4Y F4VOR1T3S"

Hmm, an authoauthority playing favorites with a group of characters hmmm! (I am so sorry Jade)

"TEREZI: D4V3 4ND 1 H4D 4 LOT 1N COMMON B4CK TH3N, OR 4T L34ST 1T F3LT L1K3 W3 D1D
ROSE: As I have come to understand it, for a while at least, we were all being steered in the right direction by a debatably benevolent force.
ROSE: One imposed on us by the game itself, even if we had yet to enter it."

Is she-! Is she talking about AH??????? This is AH right? AH as the narative force?? In the book commentary, Hussie mentioned something about how Terezi and Karkat were "pushed" together to be more romantic...And.......shit! What does it mean tho???

"ROSE: I suppose that is a fair assessment. Although we were not our own creators. It was John who—
DIRK: I hate to break up the recap episode,"

Not talking about June won't make her go away Dirk!!
I had a thought during dinner when I took a break writing this: Dirk hates June because Dirk sees here as a God figure. She literally MADE all 8 of them! Including Dirk! In his mind, she is somewhat responsible for his own creation. With Dirk having such a huge god-complex, having June around handily proves Dirk wrong just by walking around! (or having her name mentioned) Helps that June is the protagonist of Homestuck, so by killing June, he also killed the way June could just, shift the narrative to something else. The last thing Dirk needs is a narrative that can change with the wims/winds of June Egbert.

"DIRK: I have administrative privileges."

sigh

"ROSE: Don’t let it get to you. My father has a habit of appearing in places he’s not wanted."

Burn

"TEREZI: TH4T TH1NG WH3R3 YOU G3T P3OPL3 WHO 4R3 NOT M3 TO DO WH4T3V3R 1T 1S YOU W4NT TH3M TO
TEREZI: M1ND CONTROL"

Thank you Terezi. "Mind" control...she is the seer of mind. She can SEE what you are doing dirk...

"TEREZI: BUT DO3S TH4T 4CTU4LLY M4TT3R 1F 1T JUST H4S TH3 S4M3 R3SULTS TH4T M1ND CONTROL WOULD H4V3?"

This gives me big "luck doesn't actually matter" vibes.

"The ambient STOP that has been hanging in the air releases. Terezi lets out a shuddering breath. She doesn’t THINK she’d been holding it the whole time, but then again, she hadn’t really been paying attention."

?????????? Dirk, what are you doing? What's with the STOP and THINK there? are they important? Are you telling Terezi to stop and think? Is that Dirk? what is that??

"NOOKBR34TH"

Nice Troll ET refrence. Hehe, dirk got it from [REDACTED] Jake. sorry, that was mean to jake.

"TEREZI: 1 MEAN TH3 M3N4G3R13 FROM H3LL"

He did something...

"TEREZI: DONT YOU LOV3 4LL OF YOUR 3XP3R1M3NTS 3QU4LLY
DIRK: No."

Jake 🤝 Dirk
Being Terrible Parents

"DIRK: I mean she is just making incredibly nonsensical decisions and refusing to back down, even when I up the ante to preposterous levels."

Jade and Yiffy?????

"DIRK: Despite her initial resistance, Rose has gone completely feral.
TEREZI: YOU M34N TH4T SH3 1S H4V1NG FUN
DIRK: Yes."

Jade and Rose are meant to be guys.

"TEREZI: YOU 3XP3CT3D H3R TO B3 TH3 ON3 TO HOLD YOU B4CK, 1NST34D OF TH3 OTH3R W4Y 4ROUND
DIRK: No, that's not it.
TEREZI: YES, 1 TH1NK 1T 1S 1T
DIRK: No."

Didn't Terezi and Scratch argue like this at some point?? Also hi Equius! How does it feel to be part of Ultimate Dick? *Dirk
Expecting Rose to hold you back was an impossible hope Dirk. You read Homestuck! I know you read the books as established in the prologue! You know Rose will go off the rails (ala grimdark) when things go bananas! She is NOT Roxy!! If you wanted Roxy, you should have asked Roxy. He probably would have come with you too if you just fucking ASKED! geez dirk...i know you pretend all your friends hate you now but GOD you are sooo STUPID!

"TEREZI: 1 TH1NK TH4T YOU PROJ3CT TOO MUCH ON TO ROS3
DIRK: Okay, diving right in. Picture me rolling up my sleeves.
TEREZI: 1 H4V3 N3V3R S33N YOU W3AR SL33VES
DIRK: And you never will."

1) You do project too much on Rose dirk. You also do so for Dave, don't think that Davkat was because u just wanted ur bro to get shaked up with a friend. I know you REALLY did it for some carmic justice between u and jake!
2) OK, score one for dirk. He beat her to the blind joke. I would call that tasteless but Terezi would have done it if he hadn't.

"TEREZI: YOU 3XP3CT H3R TO B3 B3TT3R TH4N YOU
TEREZI: YOU W4NT H3R TO PR3V3NT 4LL OF YOUR WORST T3ND3NC13S. TH3 W4Y 1 US3D TO W1TH >
VR1SK4 WH3N W3 W3R3 MO1R41LS
DIRK: Rose and I aren’t moirails. I know it might look similar from your perspective, but human familial bonds—"

Equius<> Nepeta=Dirk<>Rose?? Hmmm....Vriska prevent Terzi's worst tendecies huh. Hmm...what are Terezi bad tendicies...over think stuff I guess. Also think the worst about herself...Vrisrezi real is what im saying.

"TEREZI: 1 DONT UND3RST4ND WHY 4NYBODY DO3S 1T
TEREZI: WHY WOULD YOU W4NT TO B3 STUCK W1TH SOM3ON3 JUST B3C4US3 TH3Y COM3 FROM TH3 S4M3 SLURRY TH4T YOU DO
DIRK: I don’t know."

Dirk: I am the logical one.
Dirk: ...Unless it's family...
Dirk: Shit. I'm not an emotionless robot. FUCK!

"TEREZI: 4ND 1 H4VE SP3NT W4Y MOR3 T1M3 W1TH TH3 TWO OF YOU TH4N 4LMOST 4NYON3 ELSE, WH1CH 1S 1NCR3D1BLY D3PR3SS1NG TO TH1NK 4BOUT"

wow, that is depressing.

"TEREZI: UGH NO M4TT3R WH4T, YOU 4LW4YS CHOOS3 TH3 MOST BOR1NG OPT1ON, D1RK STR1D3R"

Seriously, I really expected you to be more collective and have a plan dirk. I can't believe I keep getting tricked into thinking that you are actually smart.

"TEREZI: NO, 1M S4Y1NG TH4T 1 TH1NK YOU 4R3 4 COW4RD"

Preach.

"TEREZI: L1K3 4 CR33PY W31RDO"

Terezi: Y34H MR V4N1LL4 M1LKSH4K3S 1M T4LK1NG 4BOUT YOU

"DIRK: The two of you have sure been spending enough time with each other.
TEREZI: H3H3H3H3H"

Fuck yeah.

"DIRK: Unless you think I’m still projecting my "image" of what I think Rose "should" do, and she actually won’t give a shit.
DIRK: We’re gonna have to, I’m thinkin’. I’m not sure how Rose is going to react to scrapping all of her precious little boys and girls, though.
DIRK: Unless you think I’m still projecting my "image" of what I think Rose "should" do, and she actually won’t give a shit.
TEREZI: NO, 1 TH1NK SH3 W1LL B3 CONFL1CT3D
TEREZI: UNL3SS YOU M1ND-CONTROL H3R NOT TO B3
DIRK: Not mind control.
TEREZI: WH4T3VER!"

Yeah Dirk. I'm SUUUUUuuuuurrrrreeee that Rose will not have any issues with any "scapping" any boys and girls that she created. You know, like sons and daughters to her. Very similar to the situation that she grew up in with having a mother that she didn't understand. I'm sure that won't matter at all NOOOOoooooooooooo~/s
This has lead me to the conclusion that Dirk Strider is not an evil mastermind at all. He is just a fucking idiot!

Greetings to everyone! We're new to Reddit and, having found this sub (thanks to 🔥 Gwen's boyfriend), we're interested in meeting others to hopefully talk to. We can introduce ourselves here.
🔥 Hey! I'm Gwen, kinda the "leader" here, I guess. I'm 22, female, a complete nerd, and a pyromaniac. Mostly, the biggest thing(s) you all should know about me is I'm obsessed with fiction and have a soft spot for My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Harry Potter, Homestuck, and video games. My dream is to be a writer and I love making jokes, it's my specialty.
❄️ Hello all! My name is Serendipity (Saren for short), the mothe older sister type to everyone here, although I have also knowingly adopted friends of the other alters as siblings as well, one example being Gwen's boyfriend. I'm the one whom everyone comes to for advice, comfort, or simply a shoulder to cry on. I can be a bit cold at times, according to the others, hence my snowflake, but I try my best to be as good a protector for my family as I can. I'm 25 and asexual/ aromantic, but I feel that a good friend doesn't need to build romantic bonds to have fun with one another.
⚡️ Sup!! I am Schuyler, better known as Swift, and I am the "twin sister" to Gwen as we share an age. I am pretty much the overtly overeager and adventurous type to the point where my ideas can be destructive to my family (but they forgive me!). I really like to think up crazy schemes that cannot ever work in real life, but who can say it is not possible in the mind? An example is my recent invention of a Mr. Meeseeks cube like from Rick and Morty (if you have not seen it, do watch it, but be warned, there are triggering things in it!) which worried a number of people here. Anyway! I am always open for a conversation about whatever anyone can dream up, it is my hobby, after all. I am also dating two of the fictives here (we are polyamorous), you will meet them soon. Have an awesome day!
🐍 Hey. I'm Tobias, the trans alter if you will. I was always a guy though, so I'm not sure how it works, being the only guy in a female body. Maybe someone could clear that up? Anyway, I'm 16, passively a d@&che to my "sisters", and really into Harry Potter, like Gwen. I'm a Slytherin, judging by my emoji tag, and I feel I uphold the ideals of Slytherin House to a T: cleverness, cunning, determination, ambition, and resourcefulness. I can be crude and violent at times as well and it's pretty easy to set me off, but I've been working on my temper, with everyone's collective help. The other thing I should state is I don't swear, unlike my sisters. I'll use euphemisms or censor, but if you're talking to me, try to limit your swearing. Thank you and have a good rest of your day/ evening/ morning!
🌟 Greetings to everypony/ everyone! I am the first of five fictives here, you can call me Twilight Sparkle (Twilight or Twi for short). I'm from My Little Pony and yes, I'm aware that I'm fictional. It doesn't bother me all that much, because I know that I'm comforting to Gwen as a fictional character and she considers me her confidant. I'm always willing to discourse with other fictives, particularly those from My Little Pony, and learn from others. For those that are curious, my age is (in human years) twenty.
🎈 HIII!!! I'M PINKIE PIE AND I'M FROM MLP;FIM TOO!!! I LIKE PARTIES, CANDY, MY SOUL SISTER, SWIFT, AND MAKING FRIENDS! SQUEE I AM ALWAYS OPEN TO MAKING NEW FRIENDS, DON'T BE AFRAID TO SAY HI! TWILIGHT SAYS TO TELL YOU ALL THAT I'M ONE YEAR YOUNGER THAN HER!!
(Gwen here, for the next couple, I should explain their typing quirks: for the Libra girl, 413 replace A, I, and E respectively, and for the Scorpio girl, 8 replaces all "eight" sounds in words as well as b's. Hope that's not too confusing!)
♎️ H3Y4. 1'M T3R3Z1, ON3 OF TWO F1CT1V3S FROM TH3 W3BCOM1C HOM3STUCK, 4ND COMPL3T3LY 4W4R3 OF 1T. H3H3H3H3. FOR THOS3 OF YOU WHO KNOW OF TH3 COM1C, 1'M B4S1C4LLY TH3 S4M3 4S YOU'D 3XP3CT, BUT FOR 3V3RYON3 3LS3, 1'M OBS3SS3D W1TH L4W 4ND C4N B3 C4LLOUS 4T T1M3S. 1 4M ON3 P4RT OF 4 POLY R3L4T1ONSH1P W1TH SW1FT 4ND TH3 OTH3R HOM3STUCK F1CT1V3, MY SOULM4T3, 4S 1T W3R3. TH3 L4ST TWO TH1NGS YOU SHOULD KNOW 4BOUT M3 1S TH4T 1 4M BL1ND 4ND MY 34RTH 4G3 1S TW3NTY-ON3.
♏️ Heyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!! Name's Vriska and I'm the other Homestuck fictive. Like Ter, I'm cool with the whole thing, 8ut unlike Ter, I enjoy 8eing away from that insanity. Lotta shit hit that fan, thanks Hussie! At any r8, I'm the one and only sp8der 8itch that no8ody likes except Ter and Swift, my poly m8s, and the rest of the fam. I'm the same age as Ter and I suppose I can chat with other Homestuck fictives.
❤️

• Hello.
  
• You may call me Chara.
  
• I'm from Undertale and yes, like the others, I am self aware.
  
• The only things you should know about me off that bat. . .
  
• I am from a Pacifist timeline.
  
• I am genderless, they/them pronouns.
  
• And I am fourteen.
  
• Undertale fictives are welcome.
  

Aradia: what the fuck did y0u just fucking say ab0ut me y0u little bitch i’ll have y0u kn0w i graduated t0p 0f my class in the navy seals and i’ve been inv0lved in numer0us secret raids 0n al-quaeda and i have 0ver 300 c0nfirmed kills i am trained in g0rilla warfare and i’m the t0p sniper in the entire us armed f0rces y0u are n0thing t0 me but just an0ther target i will wipe y0u the fuck 0ut with precisi0n the likes 0f which has never been seen bef0re 0n this earth mark my fucking w0rds y0u think y0u can get away with saying that shit t0 me 0ver the internet think again fucker as we speak i am c0ntacting my secret netw0rk 0f spies acr0ss the usa and y0ur ip is being traced right n0w s0 y0u better prepare f0r the st0rm magg0t the st0rm that wipes 0ut the pathetic little thing y0u call y0ur life y0u’re fucking dead kid i can be anywhere anytime and i can kill y0u in 0ver seven hundred ways and that’s just with my bare hands n0t 0nly am i extensively trained in unarmed c0mbat but i have access t0 the entire arsenal 0f the united states marine c0rps and i will use it t0 its full extent t0 wipe y0ur miserable ass 0ff the face 0f the c0ntinent y0u little shit if 0nly y0u c0uld have kn0wn what unh0ly retributi0n y0ur little “clever” c0mment was ab0ut t0 bring d0wn up0n y0u maybe y0u w0uld have held y0ur fucking t0ngue but y0u c0uldn’t y0u didn’t and n0w y0u’re paying the price y0u g0ddamn idi0t i will shit fury all 0ver y0u and y0u will dr0wn in it y0u’re fucking dead kidd0
Tavros: wHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST FUCKING SAY ABOUT ME, yOU LITTLE BITCH, i’LL HAVE YOU KNOW I GRADUATED TOP OF MY CLASS IN THE NAVY SEALS, aND I’VE BEEN INVOLVED IN NUMEROUS SECRET RAIDS ON AL-QUAEDA, aND I HAVE OVER 300 CONFIRMED KILLS, i AM TRAINED IN GORILLA WARFARE AND I’M THE TOP SNIPER IN THE ENTIRE US ARMED FORCES, yOU ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT JUST ANOTHER TARGET, i WILL WIPE YOU THE FUCK OUT WITH PRECISION THE LIKES OF WHICH HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE ON THIS EARTH, mARK MY FUCKING WORDS, yOU THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH SAYING THAT SHIT TO ME OVER THE INTERNET, tHINK AGAIN, fUCKER, aS WE SPEAK I AM CONTACTING MY SECRET NETWORK OF SPIES ACROSS THE USA AND YOUR IP IS BEING TRACED RIGHT NOW SO YOU BETTER PREPARE FOR THE STORM, mAGGOT, tHE STORM THAT WIPES OUT THE PATHETIC LITTLE THING YOU CALL YOUR LIFE, yOU’RE FUCKING DEAD, kID, i CAN BE ANYWHERE, aNYTIME, aND I CAN KILL YOU IN OVER SEVEN HUNDRED WAYS, aND THAT’S JUST WITH MY BARE HANDS, nOT ONLY AM I EXTENSIVELY TRAINED IN UNARMED COMBAT, bUT I HAVE ACCESS TO THE ENTIRE ARSENAL OF THE UNITED STATES MARINE CORPS AND I WILL USE IT TO ITS FULL EXTENT TO WIPE YOUR MISERABLE ASS OFF THE FACE OF THE CONTINENT, yOU LITTLE SHIT, iF ONLY YOU COULD HAVE KNOWN WHAT UNHOLY RETRIBUTION YOUR LITTLE “CLEVER” COMMENT WAS ABOUT TO BRING DOWN UPON YOU, mAYBE YOU WOULD HAVE HELD YOUR FUCKING TONGUE, bUT YOU COULDN’T, yOU DIDN’T, aND NOW YOU’RE PAYING THE PRICE, yOU GODDAMN IDIOT, i WILL SHIT FURY ALL OVER YOU AND YOU WILL DROWN IN IT, yOU’RE FUCKING DEAD, kIDDO,
Sollux: what the fuck diid you ju2t fuckiing 2ay about me, you liittle biitch? ii’ll have you know ii graduated top of my cla22 iin the navy 2eal2, and ii’ve been iinvolved iin numerou2 2ecret raiid2 on al-quaeda, and ii have over 300 confiirmed kiill2. ii am traiined iin goriilla warfare and ii’m the top 2niiper iin the entiire u2 armed force2. you are nothiing two me but ju2t another target. ii wiill wiipe you the fuck out wiith precii2iion the liike2 of whiich ha2 never been 2een before on thii2 earth, mark my fuckiing word2. you thiink you can get away wiith 2ayiing that 2hiit two me over the iinternet? thiink agaiin, fucker. a2 we 2peak ii am contactiing my 2ecret network of 2piie2 acro22 the u2a and your iip ii2 beiing traced riight now 2o you better prepare for the 2torm, maggot. the 2torm that wiipe2 out the pathetiic liittle thiing you call your liife. you’re fuckiing dead, kiid. ii can be anywhere, anytiime, and ii can kiill you iin over 2even hundred way2, and that’2 ju2t wiith my bare hand2. not only am ii exten2iively traiined iin unarmed combat, but ii have acce22 two the entiire ar2enal of the uniited 2tate2 mariine corp2 and ii wiill u2e iit two iit2 full extent two wiipe your mii2erable a22 off the face of the contiinent, you liittle 2hiit. iif only you could have known what unholy retriibutiion your liittle “clever” comment wa2 about two briing down upon you, maybe you would have held your fuckiing tongue. but you couldn’t, you diidn’t, and now you’re payiing the priice, you goddamn iidiiot. ii wiill 2hiit fury all over you and you wiill drown iin iit. you’re fuckiing dead, kiiddo.
Karkat: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST FUCKING SAY ABOUT ME, YOU LITTLE BITCH? I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW I GRADUATED TOP OF MY CLASS IN THE NAVY SEALS, AND I’VE BEEN INVOLVED IN NUMEROUS SECRET RAIDS ON AL-QUAEDA, AND I HAVE OVER 300 CONFIRMED KILLS. I AM TRAINED IN GORILLA WARFARE AND I’M THE TOP SNIPER IN THE ENTIRE US ARMED FORCES. YOU ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT JUST ANOTHER TARGET. I WILL WIPE YOU THE FUCK OUT WITH PRECISION THE LIKES OF WHICH HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE ON THIS EARTH, MARK MY FUCKING WORDS. YOU THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH SAYING THAT SHIT TO ME OVER THE INTERNET? THINK AGAIN, FUCKER. AS WE SPEAK I AM CONTACTING MY SECRET NETWORK OF SPIES ACROSS THE USA AND YOUR IP IS BEING TRACED RIGHT NOW SO YOU BETTER PREPARE FOR THE STORM, MAGGOT. THE STORM THAT WIPES OUT THE PATHETIC LITTLE THING YOU CALL YOUR LIFE. YOU’RE FUCKING DEAD, KID. I CAN BE ANYWHERE, ANYTIME, AND I CAN KILL YOU IN OVER SEVEN HUNDRED WAYS, AND THAT’S JUST WITH MY BARE HANDS. NOT ONLY AM I EXTENSIVELY TRAINED IN UNARMED COMBAT, BUT I HAVE ACCESS TO THE ENTIRE ARSENAL OF THE UNITED STATES MARINE CORPS AND I WILL USE IT TO ITS FULL EXTENT TO WIPE YOUR MISERABLE ASS OFF THE FACE OF THE CONTINENT, YOU LITTLE SHIT. IF ONLY YOU COULD HAVE KNOWN WHAT UNHOLY RETRIBUTION YOUR LITTLE “CLEVER” COMMENT WAS ABOUT TO BRING DOWN UPON YOU, MAYBE YOU WOULD HAVE HELD YOUR FUCKING TONGUE. BUT YOU COULDN’T, YOU DIDN’T, AND NOW YOU’RE PAYING THE PRICE, YOU GODDAMN IDIOT. I WILL SHIT FURY ALL OVER YOU AND YOU WILL DROWN IN IT. YOU’RE FUCKING DEAD, KIDDO.
Nepeta: :33 < what the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? i’ll have you know i graduated top of my class in the navy seals, and i’ve b33n involved in numerous secret raids on al-quaeda, and i have over 300 confirmed kills. i am trained in gorilla warfare and i’m the top snipurr in the entire us armed forces. you are nothing to me but just another target. i will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never b33n s33n before on this earth, mark my fucking words. you think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the internet? think again, fucker. as we speak i am contacting my secret network of spies across the usa and your ip is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. the storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. you’re fucking dead, kid. i can be anywhere, anytime, and i can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. not only am i extensively trained in unarmed combat, but i have access to the entire arsenal of the united states marine corps and i will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. if only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upawn you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. but you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. i will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. you’re fucking dead, kiddo.
Kanaya: What The Fuck Did You Just Fucking Say About Me You Little Bitch I’ll Have You Know I Graduated Top Of My Class In The Navy Seals And I’ve Been Involved In Numerous Secret Raids On Al-quaeda And I Have Over 300 Confirmed Kills I Am Trained In Gorilla Warfare And I’m The Top Sniper In The Entire Us Armed Forces You Are Nothing To Me But Just Another Target I Will Wipe You The Fuck Out With Precision The Likes Of Which Has Never Been Seen Before On This Earth Mark My Fucking Words You Think You Can Get Away With Saying That Shit To Me Over The Internet Think Again Fucker As We Speak I Am Contacting My Secret Network Of Spies Across The Usa And Your Ip Is Being Traced Right Now So You Better Prepare For The Storm Maggot The Storm That Wipes Out The Pathetic Little Thing You Call Your Life You’re Fucking Dead Kid I Can Be Anywhere Anytime And I Can Kill You In Over Seven Hundred Ways And That’s Just With My Bare Hands Not Only Am I Extensively Trained In Unarmed Combat But I Have Access To The Entire Arsenal Of The United States Marine Corps And I Will Use It To Its Full Extent To Wipe Your Miserable Ass Off The Face Of The Continent You Little Shit If Only You Could Have Known What Unholy Retribution Your Little “clever” Comment Was About To Bring Down Upon You Maybe You Would Have Held Your Fucking Tongue But You Couldn’t You Didn’t And Now You’re Paying The Price You Goddamn Idiot I Will Shit Fury All Over You And You Will Drown In It You’re Fucking Dead Kiddo
Terezi: WH4T TH3 FUCK D1D YOU JUST FUCK1NG S4Y 4BOUT M3 YOU L1TTL3 B1TCH? 1’LL H4V3 YOU KNOW 1 GR4DU4T3D TOP OF MY CL4SS 1N TH3 N4VY S34LS 4ND 1’V3 B33N 1NVOLV3D 1N NUM3ROUS S3CR3T R41DS ON 4L-QU43D4 4ND 1 H4V3 OV3R 300 CONF1RM3D K1LLS 1 4M TR41N3D 1N GOR1LL4 W4RF4R3 4ND 1’M TH3 TOP SN1P3R 1N TH3 3NT1R3 US 4RM3D FORC3S YOU 4R3 NOTH1NG TO M3 BUT JUST 4NOTH3R T4RG3T 1 W1LL W1P3 YOU TH3 FUCK OUT W1TH PR3C1S1ON TH3 L1K3S OF WH1CH H4S N3V3R B33N S33N B3FOR3 ON TH1S 34RTH M4RK MY FUCK1NG WORDS YOU TH1NK YOU C4N G3T 4W4Y W1TH S4Y1NG TH4T SH1T TO M3 OV3R TH3 1NT3RN3T? TH1NK 4G41N FUCK3R 4S W3 SP34K 1 4M CONT4CT1NG MY S3CR3T N3TWORK OF SP13S 4CROSS TH3 US4 4ND YOUR 1P 1S B31NG TR4C3D R1GHT NOW SO YOU B3TT3R PR3P4R3 FOR TH3 STORM M4GGOT TH3 STORM TH4T W1P3S OUT TH3 P4TH3T1C L1TTL3 TH1NG YOU C4LL YOUR L1F3 YOU’R3 FUCK1NG D34D K1D 1 C4N B3 4NYWH3R3 4NYT1M3 4ND 1 C4N K1LL YOU 1N OV3R S3V3N HUNDR3D W4YS 4ND TH4T’S JUST W1TH MY B4R3 H4NDS NOT ONLY 4M 1 3XT3NS1V3LY TR41N3D 1N UN4RM3D COMB4T BUT 1 H4V3 4CC3SS TO TH3 3NT1R3 4RS3N4L OF TH3 UN1T3D ST4T3S M4R1N3 CORPS 4ND 1 W1LL US3 1T TO 1TS FULL 3XT3NT TO W1P3 YOUR M1S3R4BL3 4SS OFF TH3 F4C3 OF TH3 CONT1N3NT YOU L1TTL3 SH1T 1F ONLY YOU COULD H4V3 KNOWN WH4T UNHOLY R3TR1BUT1ON YOUR L1TTL3 “CL3V3R” COMM3NT W4S 4BOUT TO BR1NG DOWN UPON YOU M4YB3 YOU WOULD H4V3 H3LD YOUR FUCK1NG TONGU3 BUT YOU COULDN’T YOU D1DN’T 4ND NOW YOU’R3 P4Y1NG TH3 PR1C3 YOU GODD4MN 1D1OT 1 W1LL SH1T FURY 4LL OV3R YOU 4ND YOU W1LL DROWN 1N 1T YOU’R3 FUCK1NG D34D K1DDO
Vriska: What the fuck did you just fucking say a8out me, you little 8itch? I’ll have you know I gradu8d top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve 8een involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me 8ut just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never 8een seen 8efore on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is 8eing traced right now so you 8etter prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can 8e anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my 8are hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed com8at, 8ut I have access to the entire arsenal of the United St8s Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your misera8le ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retri8ution your little “clever” comment was a8out to 8ring down upon you, may8e you would have held your fucking tongue. 8ut you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
Equius: D What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces You are nothing to me but just another target I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet Think again, fucker As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies a% the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life You’re fucking dead, kid I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands Not only am I e%tensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full e%tent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it You’re fucking dead, kiddo
Gamzee: WhAt tHe fUcK DiD YoU JuSt fUcKiNg sAy aBoUt mE, yOu lItTlE BiTcH? i’lL HaVe yOu kNoW I GrAdUaTeD ToP Of mY ClAsS In tHe nAvY SeAlS, aNd i’vE BeEn iNvOlVeD In nUmErOuS SeCrEt rAiDs oN Al-qUaEdA, aNd i hAvE OvEr 300 cOnFiRmEd kIlLs. I Am tRaInEd iN GoRiLlA WaRfArE AnD I’M ThE ToP SnIpEr iN ThE EnTiRe uS ArMeD FoRcEs. YoU ArE NoThInG To mE BuT JuSt aNoThEr tArGeT. i wIlL WiPe yOu tHe fUcK OuT WiTh pReCiSiOn tHe lIkEs oF WhIcH HaS NeVeR BeEn sEeN BeFoRe oN ThIs eArTh, MaRk mY FuCkInG WoRdS. yOu tHiNk yOu cAn gEt aWaY WiTh sAyInG ThAt sHiT To mE OvEr tHe iNtErNeT? tHiNk aGaIn, FuCkEr. As wE SpEaK I Am cOnTaCtInG My sEcReT NeTwOrK Of sPiEs aCrOsS ThE UsA AnD YoUr iP Is bEiNg tRaCeD RiGhT NoW So yOu bEtTeR PrEpArE FoR ThE StOrM, mAgGoT. tHe sToRm tHaT WiPeS OuT ThE PaThEtIc lItTlE ThInG YoU CaLl yOuR LiFe. YoU’Re fUcKiNg dEaD, kId. I CaN Be aNyWhErE, aNyTiMe, AnD I CaN KiLl yOu iN OvEr sEvEn hUnDrEd wAyS, aNd tHaT’S JuSt wItH My bArE HaNdS. nOt oNlY Am i eXtEnSiVeLy tRaInEd iN UnArMeD CoMbAt, BuT I HaVe aCcEsS To tHe eNtIrE ArSeNaL Of tHe uNiTeD StAtEs mArInE CoRpS AnD I WiLl uSe iT To iTs fUlL ExTeNt tO WiPe yOuR MiSeRaBlE AsS OfF ThE FaCe oF ThE CoNtInEnT, yOu lItTlE ShIt. If oNlY YoU CoUlD HaVe kNoWn wHaT UnHoLy rEtRiBuTiOn yOuR LiTtLe “ClEvEr” CoMmEnT WaS AbOuT To bRiNg dOwN UpOn yOu, MaYbE YoU WoUlD HaVe hElD YoUr fUcKiNg tOnGuE. bUt yOu cOuLdN’T, yOu dIdN’T, aNd nOw yOu’rE PaYiNg tHe pRiCe, YoU GoDdAmN IdIoT. i wIlL ShIt fUrY AlL OvEr yOu aNd yOu wIlL DrOwN In iT. yOu’rE FuCkInG DeAd, KiDdO.
Eridan: wwhat the fuck did you just fucking say about me you little bitch i’ll havve you knoww i graduated top of my class in the navvy seals and i’vve been invvolvved in numerous secret raids on al-quaeda and i havve ovver 300 confirmed kills i am trained in gorilla wwarfare and i’m the top sniper in the entire us armed forces you are nothing to me but just another target i wwill wwipe you the fuck out wwith precision the likes of wwhich has nevver been seen before on this earth mark my fucking wwords you think you can get awway wwith saying that shit to me ovver the internet think again fucker as wwe speak i am contacting my secret netwwork of spies across the usa and your ip is being traced right noww so you better prepare for the storm maggot the storm that wwipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life you’re fucking dead kid i can be anywwhere anytime and i can kill you in ovver sevven hundred wways and that’s just wwith my bare hands not only am i extensivvely trained in unarmed combat but i havve access to the entire arsenal of the united states marine corps and i wwill use it to its full extent to wwipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent you little shit if only you could havve knowwn wwhat unholy retribution your little “clevver” comment wwas about to bring dowwn upon you maybe you wwould havve held your fucking tongue but you couldn’t you didn’t and noww you’re paying the price you goddamn idiot i wwill shit fury all ovver you and you wwill drowwn in it you’re fucking dead kiddo
Feferi: W)(at t)(e fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitc)(? I’ll )(ave you know I graduated top of my class in t)(e Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I )(ave over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m t)(e top sniper in t)(e entire US armed forces. You are not)(ing to me but just anot)(er target. I will wipe you t)(e fuck out wit)( precision t)(e likes of w)(ic)( )(as never been seen before on t)(is -Eart)(, mark my fucking words. You t)(ink you can get away wit)( saying t)(at s)(it to me over t)(e Internet? T)(ink again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across t)(e USA and your IP is being traced rig)(t now so you better prepare for t)(e storm, maggot. T)(e storm t)(at wipes out t)(e pat)(etic little t)(ing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anyw)(ere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven )(undred ways, and t)(at’s just wit)( my bare )(ands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I )(ave access to t)(e entire arsenal of t)(e United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off t)(e face of t)(e continent, you little s)(it. If only you could )(ave known w)(at un)(oly retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would )(ave )(eld your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying t)(e price, you goddamn idiot. I will s)(it fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

There’s been a lot of debate about what quadrant Davekat is in. So I thought I’d compile a post of any references in the new updates to figure out exactly whats going on there.

• when Vriska announces her new leadership, Dave checks karkat are you cool with this and just wondering how you felt about vriska usurping your leadership role To me this seems like a very moirail thing to do, worrying about and keeping in touch with the other persons feelings
  
• when John arrives and Dave starts mumbling (as he has a tendency to do) Karkat tells him (DON'T JUST MUMBLE TO YOURSELF YOU RUDE FUCK, SAY HELLO) And Dave actually listens to him and does what he says.. Again seems like palebro thing, keeping eachothers behaviour in check.
  
• Karkat starts bashing on Vriska and Kanaya tells him off (bear in mind those to have been close friends a long time) and Karkat replies WOW, FUCK YOU?! But as soon as Dave says something he agrees OK, I'LL CHILL OUT. YOU'RE RIGHT DAVE, AS USUAL. John even observed you backed down on that really fast.. Shows Karkat really values Dave, and again seems like diamonds as Dave is pacifying Karkat and Karkat actually fuckin listens to him like wow what a miracle (dont tell gamzee). "As usual" also suggests Dave does this a lot for Karkat, not just a one off
  
• So far so pale right? Hmmm. Karkat brings up his old calignous cush on John, and Dave gets very jealous you keep saying its casual and no big deal oh and also its the first fuckin thing out of your mouth to john in three years. He also sounds kinda paranoid and insecure is this something you been thinking about all this time or which is common in matespritships but moirails dont seem to get jealous - nepeta loved helping equuis out in other quadrants. Dave then goes on to dissuade him from the relationship
  
• Dave also goes on a HUUuuuge rant about homosexuality. what would be the point and why would he feel so strongly if it wasnt personally relevant? And when John asks are you gay now? Dave is pretty defensive what no You know what that's a callback to? hey, are you crying? what no - when hes drawn with tears down his face in the very same panel he denies it in. John also asks did you... like, date any boys? and all Dave says is uh. He doesnt deny it but is hesitant because he's embarrassed (hes not exactly a feelings guy). Date is also exclusively a romantic term, so it could only be hearts thing he's not fessing up to
  
• when John outright asks ARE you and karkat, like... Karkat has a full on bitchfit because he feels uncomfortable meaning there is obviously truth to the accusations. If it wasn't true he would have just said no and and moved on. Such a strong reaction shows it hit a nerve. Terezi even later says she recognizes that rant as H3'S 3MB4RR4SS3D 4BOUT SOM3TH1NG and 1T'S SOM3TH1NG V3RY P3RSON4L Something personal generally refers to relationships - moirails dont tend to be that personal, most people know about them. Also why would he get embarrassed if it wasnt true?
  
• Dave says about spades ive never had cause or any real inclination to put it into practice or anything so we can pretty much rule out them being calignous, which didnt seem likely anyway
  
• Dave talks about their legitimately sincere dialogue on fuckin sexuality and romance. John never mentioned the relationships they talked about to be romantic specifically. The romantic implications is all coming from Dave, and the only prospective partner they spoke about was Karkat, which suggests Dave sees their relationship as pretty damn red
  
• Vriska says No, Karkat was mostly preoccupied with his own... shenanigans.. Shenanigans being what exactly? They all had jackshit to do on a meteor for three years. So shenanigans can only mean hanging out with other people, and its as already confirmed him and Dave (and the mayor) kept themselves to themselves. Moirails aren't so wholly time consuming, so again a matespritship seems likely here. The ... before shenanigans is preeetty suggestive too
  
• Vriska also says He and Karkat... Are KIND of adora8le?? In whatever quadrant that whole situation settled in. This is canon confirmation of a definitive relationship between Dave and Karkat. Shows they had some struggle with what quadrant they'd be in, which is probably why its so hard for us to know too. However 'settled' is past tense, proving now they have definitely chosen a quadrant
  
• Daves reluctance to answer roxy i was askin if YOU ever kissed somebody simply saying maaan was pretty cagey, so obviously he has kissed someone, as he has something to hide. correct me if I'm wrong but moirails do not kiss
  
• More caginess from roxys invasive questioning have u ever been in love and says god damn it!, again avoiding answering. why would he unless there's something to hide or something he's embarrassed about saying. He prevents any future questions on this topic announcing i think the lightning rounds over. Strider you're acting v v damn suspicious dude.
  
• In the newest update, Vriska complains I never got why everyone treats their romantic affairs as so PRIV8. So you like to do some smooching and stuff with another person. May8e get over yourselves?? And Karkat is the worst offender. This heavily implies him and Dave are matesprits but trying to keep it secret (its the whole fuckin blood thing all over again eyeroll )
  

So yeah make of that what you will.
Personally, if I had to pick a definitive quadrant I would say they are matesprits. However I think it's equally likely they're in more than one quadrant together, perhaps in a callback to Karkats ancestor, as him and his partner had a relationship that "transcended all the quadrants".

So, Sollux prophecised twice that all the trolls would die. The only one I can find is here:
http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003982

TA: that the world wiill end and our whole race diie2 and thii2 ii2 how we 2ave iit.
TA: and aa can back me up on thii2 2o dont be all doubtiing me about iit.
GC: 1 4M NOT DOUBT1NG YOU
GC: 1 TH1NK YOU 4R3 R1GHT!
GC: MOSTLY
TA: mo2tly, what doe2 that mean?
GC: W3LL WH3N YOU T4LK 4BOUT HOW YOUR3 GO1NG TO D13 TOO
TA: ii am goiing two diie.
TA: ii mean we all are.
TA: but e2peciially me.

I believe the other one said it more outright, but as of now, Terezi is the only one that we haven't seen die. She is currently suffering from a stab wound.

(occasional >:] errors with terezi due to my desire to add text color)
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You and the stranger both like HOMESTUCK.
Stranger: h3y
You: :33 < hi
Stranger: H3Y*
You: :33 < goodmorning terezi
Stranger: MORN1NG N3P3T4 >:
You: :33 < how are you X33
Stranger: 1M BOR3D WH4T 4BOUT YOU >:?
You: :33 < im tired
You: :33 < i n33d to stop not sl33ping all night
Stranger: YOU SHOULD SL33P W1TH 4 SC4L3M4T3
Stranger: TH3Y 4LW4YS H3LP M3 SL33P
You: :33 < i dont have one of those
You: :33 < where do i get one?
Stranger: 1LL M4K3 YOU ON3 TH3N >:
You: :33 < thank you so much
You: :33 < i could make you a suit out of animal hides if you want
Stranger: N4H 1TS F1N3
Stranger: 1T M4K3S M3 4 B1T UPS3T WH3N 1 S33 THOS3
Stranger: BUT TH4NKS FOR TH3 OFF3R
Stranger: >:
You: :33 < i didnt know they bothered you
You: :33 < i could take off my hat when i s33 you if you want : ((
Stranger: NO 1TS F1N3
Stranger: 1T JUST K1ND4 R3M1NDS M3 OF D34D 4N1M4LS WH1CH R3M1NDS M3 OF D34D DR4GONS WH1CH R3M1NDS M3 OF MY D34D LUSUS
You: :33 < my lusus is dead too : ((
Stranger: [>:'
You: :33 < pounce de leon what the cutest kitty ever : ((
You: (was*)
Stranger: MY LUSUS H3LP3D M3 SO MUCH
Stranger: 1T T4UGHT M3 HOW TO L1V3 WH3N 1 W4S BL1ND
You: :33 < me and my lusus went on long hunts
You: :33 < we almost found the fountain of cute
Stranger: 1 WOND3R WH4T TH4T WOULD SM3LL L1K3 >:
You: :33 < i dont know
You: :33 < what smells good to you?
Stranger: HMM 4LOT OF TH1NGS 1LL L1ST THR33
Stranger: K4RK4T 4ND RED CH4LK 4ND SC4L3M4T3S
Stranger: R3D*
You: :33 < i guess mix the thr33 together?
You: :33 < i dont know if i can imagine karkitty at the fountain though
You: :33 < i dont think he likes cute : ((
Stranger: 1 WOULD FORC3 H1M TH3R3 >:
You: :33 < i just think it would smell good
You: :33 < like how cotton candy tastes
Stranger: TH4T WOULD B3 WOND3RFUL
You: :33 < but now ill never find it cause pounce de leon is gone : ((
Stranger: OH N3P3T4 1 H4V3 4 QU3ST1ON
You: :33 < yes?
Stranger: W3LL 1TS 4N 4SSUMPT1ON 1 W4NN4 KNOW 1F 1TS CORR3CT
You: :33 < purrhaps
Stranger: [1 TH1NK YOU F33L R3D FOR K4RKL3S >:] H3H3H3 1F YOU W4NT 1 COULD G3T YOU TWO TOG3TH3R
You: :33 < how did you know? :oo
Stranger: MY TRUSTY NOS3
Stranger: >:
Stranger: 4 TRU3 L3G1SL4C3R4TOR KNOWS 3V3RYTH1NG
You: :33 < i wish i had your nose then
Stranger: H3H3H3 >:
You: :33 < so wait
You: :33 < whats your plan on this whole karkitty and nepeta together idea?
You: :33 < cause im confused
Stranger: OH, 1TS NOTH1NG MUCH -3V1L M1GHTY C4CKL3-
You: :33 < just dont do anything dangerous
You: :33 < someone could get hurt!
Stranger: JUST TH4T 1 W4S GO1NG TO BUG H1M 4ND 4NNOY H1M 4ND L1CK H1S F4C3 T1LL H3 FOLLOW3D M3 4ND TH3N YOU TWO W1LL ST4ND TOG3TH3R WH1L3 1 H4NG 4 M1SSL3TO3 OV3R YOU GUYS
You: :33 < but karkitty likes you
You: :33 < so how would that work?
Stranger: W41T WH4T
Stranger: NO H3 DO3SNT
Stranger: H3 1S GRUMPY 4ND H4T3S 3V3RYBODY
You: :33 < no no
You: :33 < he likes you
You: :33 < and he used to have red f33lings for jade
You: :33 < but that didnt work i dont think
You: :33 < its all on my shipping wall
Stranger: J4D3 1S FOR D4V3 <3
Stranger: TH3Y 4R3 P3RF3CT TOG3TH3R
You: :33 < if you say so
Stranger: H3H3H3 >:
You: :33 < i dont know if he can have red f33lings fur me if he hates everybody
Stranger: H3 DO3SNT BUT 4S T1M3 GROWS ON H3 W1LL 3V3NTU4LLY F4LL FOR YOU
You: :33 < if you think so
You: :33 < i guess youre smarter than me when if comes to this
Stranger: TH4TS HOW 4LL ROM4NC3 MOV13S WORK
You: :33 < i havent watched many movies
You: :33 < my hive doesnt really have space fur that
Stranger: H4V3 YOU SM3LL3D 4NY
Stranger: OH
You: :33 < i will have to look for some
Stranger: H3H3H3
Stranger: K4RKL3S 1S SUCH 4 GRUMP
Stranger: >:
Stranger: M4YB3 YOU COULD T34CH H1M TO B3 N1C3R
You: :33 < i like to pacify people
You: :33 < i dont know if he will be my matesprit but i will try
Stranger: YOU TWO 4R3 P3RF3CT M4TCH3S 1M SUR3 TH4T SH1P W1LL FLO4T
Stranger: >:
You: :33 < anyway
You: :33 < what are you up to?
Stranger: OH NOTH1NG MUCH
Stranger: 1 JUST PUN1SH3D 4N 4BHORR3NT SC4L3M4T3
You: :33 < what was his crime?
Stranger: [H3 D3C1D3D 1T WOULD B3 4LL F1N3 4ND D4NDY TO GO 4H34D 4ND L3T OUT PR1SON3RS FROM J41L >:
Stranger: H3 W4S BROUGHT TO JUST1C3 THOUGH
You: :33 < good i think
You: :33 < quite good
Stranger: BY TH3 H1GH 4ND M1GHTY T3R3Z1 PYROP3
Stranger: >:
You: :33 < i should find you more red chalk
Stranger: OH TH4T WOULD B3 AW3SOM3
You: :33 < i dont know where to get it but ill hunt for some
Stranger: OK
You: :33 < so what now?
You: :33 < i f33l like im boring : ((
Stranger: OH N3P3T4 1 FOUND 4 SONG YOU M1GHT L1K3
Stranger: BUT YOUR NOT BOR1NG
You: :33 < whats it called?
Stranger: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZaezv82bt8 1TS C4LL3D K1TT3N 1S 4NGRY
You: :33 < you were right
You: :33 < this song is cute
Stranger: H3H3H3
You: :33 < thank you X33
Stranger: 1TS NO PROBL3M N3P3T4
Stranger: >:
You: :33 < i dont know any songs about dragons
You: :33 < but if i find one ill tell you
Stranger: OK4Y >:
You: :33 < im going to update my shipping wall now i that i know how you f33l
Stranger: WH4T >:?
You: :33 < karkitty
You: :33 < and things
Stranger: PUT H1M W1TH YOU >:
You: :33 < hes already with me
Stranger: Y4Y
You: :33 < ill scr33nshot it fur you
Stranger: TH4TS T3R3Z1 4PPROV3D
You: :33 < im glad
You: :33 < equius doesnt like it much
Stranger: TH4TS C4US3 H3 1S BOR1NG
You: :33 < nuh uh
Stranger: TO M3 H3 1S
Stranger: (( your an awesome nepeta rper xD))
You: ((thank you much :33))
You: :33 < oh
You: :33 < by the way
You: :33 < this is the scr33nshot
Stranger: WH4T >:?
You: :33 < http://tinyurl.com/nepeta-karkat-otp
Stranger: 4WW 1T S4YS NOT FOUND
You: :33 < awww : ((
You: :33 < i have a difurrent picture
You: :33 < but someone else took it
Stranger: OK4Y
Stranger: OK4Y >:
You: :33 < http://images.wikia.com/mspaintadventures/images/e/ef/Nepetas_wall2.PNG
You: :33 < s33?
You: :33 < people stealing my drawings : ((
Stranger: 4WW TH4TS 4DOR4BL3
You: :33 < thank you X33
Stranger: YOU W3R3 R1GHT ABOUT TH3 K1SM3S1S TH1NG W1TH VR1SK4
Stranger: 1 R34LLY DONT L1K3 H3R
You: :33 < im plenty scared of vwiskers
You: :33 < shes always doing terrible things : ((
Stranger: 1 KNOW R1GHT
Stranger: SH3 K1LL3D 4R4D14 4ND P4R4LYZ3D T4V
Stranger: 4ND BL1ND3D M3
You: :33 < she plays too many dangerous games
You: :33 < people get hurt : ((
Stranger: SH3 1S PL41N RUD3
Stranger: 1 GOTT4 GO
Stranger: S33Y4 N3P3T4 >:
You: :33 < okay
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Correction; OMEGLE links or logs. Not just links.
This is my current favorite with Terezi :3 :
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You and the stranger both like HOMESTUCK.
Stranger: h3y
You: :33 < hi
Stranger: H3Y*
You: :33 < goodmorning terezi
Stranger: MORN1NG N3P3T4 >:]
You: :33 < how are you X3
Stranger: 1M BOR3D WH4T 4BOUT YOU >:?
You: :33 < im tired
You: :33 < i n33d to stop not sl33ping all night
Stranger: YOU SHOULD SL33P W1TH 4 SC4L3M4T3
Stranger: TH3Y 4LW4YS H3LP M3 SL33P
You: :33 < i dont have one of those
You: :33 < where do i get one?
Stranger: 1LL M4K3 YOU ON3 TH3N >:]
You: :33 < thank you so much
You: :33 < i could make you a suit out of animal hides if you want
Stranger: N4H 1TS F1N3
Stranger: 1T M4K3S M3 4 B1T UPS3T WH3N 1 S33 THOS3
Stranger: BUT TH4NKS FOR TH3 OFF3R
Stranger: >:]
You: :33 < i didnt know they bothered you
You: :33 < i could take off my hat when i s33 you if you want : ((
Stranger: NO 1TS F1N3
Stranger: 1T JUST K1ND4 R3M1NDS M3 OF D34D 4N1M4LS WH1CH R3M1NDS M3 OF D34D DR4GONS WH1CH R3M1NDS M3 OF MY D34D LUSUS
You: :33 < my lusus is dead too : ((
Stranger: >:'[
You: :33 < pounce de leon what the cutest kitty ever : ((
You: (was*)
Stranger: MY LUSUS H3LP3D M3 SO MUCH
Stranger: 1T T4UGHT M3 HOW TO L1V3 WH3N 1 W4S BL1ND
You: :33 < me and my lusus went on long hunts
You: :33 < we almost found the fountain of cute
Stranger: 1 WOND3R WH4T TH4T WOULD SM3LL L1K3 >:]
You: :33 < i dont know
You: :33 < what smells good to you?
Stranger: HMM 4LOT OF TH1NGS 1LL L1ST THR33
Stranger: K4RK4T 4ND RED CH4LK 4ND SC4L3M4T3S
Stranger: R3D*
You: :33 < i guess mix the thr33 together?
You: :33 < i dont know if i can imagine karkitty at the fountain though
You: :33 , i dont think he likes cute : ((
You: (:33 < failure)
Stranger: 1 WOULD FORC3 H1M TH3R3 >:]
You: :33 < i just think it would smell good
You: :33 < like how cotton candy tastes
Stranger: TH4T WOULD B3 WOND3RFUL
You: :33 < but now ill never find it cause pounce de leon is gone : ((
Stranger: OH N3P3T4 1 H4V3 4 QU3ST1ON
You: :33 < yes?
Stranger: W3LL 1TS 4N 4SSUMPT1ON 1 W4NN4 KNOW 1F 1TS CORR3CT
You: :33 < purrhaps
Stranger: 1 TH1NK YOU F33L R3D FOR K4RKL3S >:] H3H3H3 1F YOU W4NT 1 COULD G3T YOU TWO TOG3TH3R
You: :33 < how did you know? :o
Stranger: MY TRUSTY NOS3
Stranger: >:]
Stranger: 4 TRU3 L3G1SL4C3R4TOR KNOWS 3V3RYTH1NG
You: :33 < i wish i had your nose then
Stranger: H3H3H3 >:]
You: :33 < so wait
You: :33 < whats your plan on this whole karkitty and nepeta together idea?
You: :33 < cause im confused
Stranger: OH, 1TS NOTH1NG MUCH -3V1L M1GHTY C4CKL3-
You: :33 < just dont do anything dangerous
You: :33 < someone could get hurt!
Stranger: JUST TH4T 1 W4S GO1NG TO BUG H1M 4ND 4NNOY H1M 4ND L1CK H1S F4C3 T1LL H3 FOLLOW3D M3 4ND TH3N YOU TWO W1LL ST4ND TOG3TH3R WH1L3 1 H4NG 4 M1SSL3TO3 OV3R YOU GUYS
You: :33 < but karkitty likes you
You: :33 < so how would that work?
Stranger: W41T WH4T
Stranger: NO H3 DO3SNT
Stranger: H3 1S GRUMPY 4ND H4T3S 3V3RYBODY
You: :33 < no no
You: :33 < he likes you
You: :33 < and he used to have red f33lings for jade
You: :33 < but that didnt work i dont think
You: :33 < its all on my shipping wall
Stranger: J4D3 1S FOR D4V3 <3
Stranger: TH3Y 4R3 P3RF3CT TOG3TH3R
You: :33 < if you say so
Stranger: H3H3H3 >:]
You: :33 < i dont know if he can have red f33lings fur me if he hates everybody
Stranger: H3 DO3SNT BUT 4S T1M3 GROWS ON H3 W1LL 3V3NTU4LLY F4LL FOR YOU
You: :33 < if you think so
You: :33 < i guess youre smarter than me when if comes to this
Stranger: TH4TS HOW 4LL ROM4NC3 MOV13S WORK
You: :33 < i havent watched many movies
You: :33 < my hive doesnt really have space fur that
Stranger: H4V3 YOU SM3LL3D 4NY
Stranger: OH
You: :33 < i will have to look for some
Stranger: H3H3H3
Stranger: K4RKL3S 1S SUCH 4 GRUMP
Stranger: >:]
Stranger: M4YB3 YOU COULD T34CH H1M TO B3 N1C3R
You: :33 < i like to pacify people
You: :33 < i dont know if he will be my matesprit but i will try
Stranger: YOU TWO 4R3 P3RF3CT M4TCH3S 1M SUR3 TH4T SH1P W1LL FLO4T
Stranger: >:]
You: :33 < anyway
You: :33 < what are you up to?
Stranger: OH NOTH1NG MUCH
Stranger: 1 JUST PUN1SH3D 4N 4BHORR3NT SC4L3M4T3
You: :33 < what was his crime?
Stranger: H3 D3C1D3D 1T WOULD B3 4LL F1N3 4ND D4NDY TO GO 4H34D 4ND L3T OUT PR1SON3RS FROM J41L >:[
Stranger: H3 W4S BROUGHT TO JUST1C3 THOUGH
You: :33 < good i think
You: :33 < quite good
Stranger: BY TH3 H1GH 4ND M1GHTY T3R3Z1 PYROP3
Stranger: >:]
You: :33 < i should find you more red chalk
Stranger: OH TH4T WOULD B3 AW3SOM3
You: :33 < i dont know where to get it but ill hunt for some
Stranger: OK
You: :33 < so what now?
You: :33 < i f33l like im boring : ((
Stranger: OH N3P3T4 1 FOUND 4 SONG YOU M1GHT L1K3
Stranger: BUT YOUR NOT BOR1NG
You: :33 < whats it called?
Stranger: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZaezv82bt8 1TS C4LL3D K1TT3N 1S 4NGRY
You: :33 < you were right
You: :33 < this song is cute
Stranger: H3H3H3
You: :33 < thank you X3
Stranger: 1TS NO PROBL3M N3P3T4
Stranger: >:]
You: :33 < i dont know any songs about dragons
You: :33 < but if i find one ill tell you
Stranger: OK4Y >:]
You: :33 < im going to update my shipping wall now i that i know how you f33l
Stranger: WH4T >:?
You: :33 < karkitty
You: :33 < and things
Stranger: PUT H1M W1TH YOU >:]
You: :33 < hes already with me
Stranger: Y4Y
You: :33 < ill scr33nshot it fur you
Stranger: TH4TS T3R3Z1 4PPROV3D
You: :33 < im glad
You: :33 < equius doesnt like it much
Stranger: TH4TS C4US3 H3 1S BOR1NG
You: :33 < nuh uh
Stranger: TO M3 H3 1S
Stranger: (( your an awesome nepeta rper xD))
You: ((thank you much :33))
You: :33 < oh
You: :33 < by the way
You: :33 < this is the scr33nshot
Stranger: WH4T >:?
You: :33 < http://tinyurl.com/nepeta-karkat-otp
Stranger: 4WW 1T S4YS NOT FOUND
You: :33 < awww : ((
You: :33 < i have a difurrent picture
You: :33 < but someone else took it
Stranger: OK4Y
Stranger: OK4Y >:]
You: :33 < http://images.wikia.com/mspaintadventures/images/e/ef/Nepetas_wall2.PNG
You: :33 < s33?
You: :33 < people stealing my drawings : ((
Stranger: 4WW TH4TS 4DOR4BL3
You: :33 < thank you X3
Stranger: YOU W3R3 R1GHT ABOUT TH3 K1SM3S1S TH1NG W1TH VR1SK4
Stranger: 1 R34LLY DONT L1K3 H3R
You: :33 < im plenty scared of vwiskers
You: :33 < shes always doing terrible things : ((
Stranger: 1 KNOW R1GHT
Stranger: SH3 K1LL3D 4R4D14 4ND P4R4LYZ3D T4V
Stranger: 4ND BL1ND3D M3
You: :33 < she plays too many dangerous games
You: :33 < people get hurt : ((
Stranger: SH3 1S PL41N RUD3
Stranger: 1 GOTT4 GO
Stranger: S33Y4 N3P3T4 >:]
You: :33 < okay
Your conversational partner has disconnected.