Post ovulation discharge is watery

My MIL who passed away in January is being memorialized and interred on May22. Her son, my husband, adamantly refuses to attend given that he “has made his peace” with her passing. Since we have known about the event for months I still went ahead and booked flights, car and hotel rentals and booked professional and health-related appointments to coordinate while we are in town. I was hoping to twist his arm into attending his own mother’s funeral. We live in Calgary and the memorial is held in Ottawa. I planned on attending as planned with or without him to support and be there for his family with whom I have a 22year relationship. She (MIL) came to terms with her sons same sex relationship and his parents have adopted my family into theirs open arms.
Now here’s where it gets complicated. Monday my husband suffered a severe bout of food poisoning and he is now in the ICU in septic shock from E.coli. Today he is still intubated and semiconscious responding only to verbal commands. He has no concept and certainly little awareness when I visit. However the prognosis is good and should recover within a week or two ( he also underwent an exploratory laparotomy last night that he needs to heal from before any hospital discharge ). My adult daughter and her soon to be husband are local and I have asked them to visit at least once daily. I am to leave in 36 hours
I am a retired physician myself and am aware of the medical complications that can still happen -he is not out of the woods yet by any means. Please abstain in the comments any medically-related posts since I will either refute them wholeheartedly.
What I want to know - and if there are any ethicists out there PLEASE chime in- do I travel 5 days away while the hubby is in hospital and mostly unaware of my existence but for the hour I’m allowed to visit ? do I go ahead with the plan to support his family during this ordeal and attend to the commitments I have arranged during that time ? OR do I stay at bedside or at least local “in case” his situation deteriorates (which chances are minimal given his progress from death-bed to stably unstable) and need to reschedule the commitments and not be the support for his family ?
To be clear I will ALWAYS be available for any medical decisions by telephone EXCEPT for the times I will actually be airborn (4hr flights)

I haven't seen anyone talk about it, but respawn really didn't think it through with putting her in a skirt... If you use that skin and use an emote like "unbridled enthusiasm' which is basically her cheerleading emote... You can see up that skirt or her "static discharge" emote... I would post photos of this but I'm not sure if it will be allowed.. Has anyone else noticed this?

20 Female
i have been experiencing blood when wiping after pee/poop but i am confused where is the blood coming from since there is no traces of blood in my urine or stool but only when wiping.
I suspected it from my vagina area because it feel sore once i touch/rub it in the middle so i thought maybe it is irritated, and also notice blood when wiping after peeing and once had bleeding during sexual intercourse
I also suspected it from my anus area because when i first notice this sympyom, it was after i poop then when i wipe there is blood in my wipes and I feel like there is fluid or watery feeling betwen my butt cheeks even after wiping them off
I had no pain with my abdominal area tho and no other green/white/yellow discharge aside from I can see the blood in my undergarments
I am confused if the blood is due to hemorrhoids or some vaginal issues since I could feel a flow sometimes
note: around this month i have a feeling of urging to pee whenever after pooping or usually in the morning after the very first pee like i would come back atleast 3-5 times to pee for very small amount but after that scenario the urge to pee will just go away and went back to normal. Could this be a sign of UTI?
ever since around 2021, i also experienced some odor whenever after peeing but i thought maybe just because of the wet underwear after washing the vagina since it will just go away whenever i wear new/dry underwear. Could this be also a sign of untreated BV that may lead to UTI now?
what type of doctor should i see first?

First I want to apologize for the long post that you're about to read but I'm really losing my sanity at this point.
I (f 21) was dating a guy (20) for about two months, he was a virgin and I was his first ever , everything was going so so well , we are very compatible and I really liked him a lot and still do like him , he also liked me a lot , until..
Before we had sex for the first and last time ever he had talked to me about STDs and I told him that he has nothing to worry about because I have never had an STD , so two weeks later we have unprotected sex , and it was really really good , ten days later he started experiencing some symptoms like a burning sensation when he pees , white or clear discharge, his penis was red and swollen, and he was going crazy and he was very very anxious and scared (rightfully so) he went to a doctor and the doctor told him that it's probably gonorrhea and he told him to start with the medication that he prescribed to him after he got a test , the test came back negative, and I also did all the STDs tests and all of them came back negative as well . (For the record we are syrians and we live in syria , so we are very tight on money and the whole process of going to doctors and taking all the std tests was very dangerous because any kind of sexual activity before marriage is not okay here) .
This guy is now convinced that I gave him something and he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore, and he keeps calling me reckless (which I know I am I was diagnosed with BPD 5 years ago but my parents refused to believe it and didn't get me medication or treatment) .
My problem is that I was also too ignorant to believe it (because mental health is not really a thing in Syria) and now I feel like I desperately want him to stay in my life because I didn't do anything wrong, and I feel like my world is collapsing, and I know that I need to go to therapy and get treatment but I don't have any money, therapy is very expensive here and I don't know how to cope anymore, I truly saw something in him , and I feel like shit for losing him as a friend and as a lover , I didn't want things to go that way at all , and I don't know what to do.

First I want to apologize for the long post that you're about to read but I'm really losing my sanity at this point.
I (f 21) was dating a guy (20) for about two months, he was a virgin and I was his first ever , everything was going so so well , we are very compatible and I really liked him a lot and still do like him , he also liked me a lot , until..
Before we had sex for the first and last time ever he had talked to me about STDs and I told him that he has nothing to worry about because I have never had an STD , so two weeks later we have unprotected sex , and it was really really good , ten days later he started experiencing some symptoms like a burning sensation when he pees , white or clear discharge, his penis was red and swollen, and he was going crazy and he was very very anxious and scared (rightfully so) he went to a doctor and the doctor told him that it's probably gonorrhea and he told him to start with the medication that he prescribed to him after he got a test , the test came back negative, and I also did all the STDs tests and all of them came back negative as well . (For the record we are syrians and we live in syria , so we are very tight on money and the whole process of going to doctors and taking all the std tests was very dangerous and expensive because any kind of sexual activity before marriage is not okay here) .
This guy is now convinced that I gave him something and he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore, and he keeps calling me reckless (which I know I am I was diagnosed with BPD 5 years ago but my parents refused to believe it and didn't get me medication or treatment) .
My problem is that I was also too ignorant to believe it (because mental health is not really a thing in Syria) and now I feel like I desperately want him to stay in my life because I didn't do anything wrong, and I feel like my world is collapsing, and I know that I need to go to therapy and get treatment but I don't have any money, therapy is very expensive here and I don't know how to cope anymore, I truly saw something in him , and I feel like shit for losing him as a friend and as a lover , I didn't want things to go that way at all , and I don't know what to do.

I posted a few weeks ago about my pain and spotting during the luteal phase a lot of you said to check my progesterone checked (thank you huge help). I had all my hormone levels checked and they all came back perfect. Progesterone was checked 7 days before my expected period and it was at 35nmol/L
A little more background I had ultra sounds and laparoscopy two years ago to check endo and pcso but nothing came back worrying, apart from I have a heart shaped uterus. I also had abnormal cells removed from my curvix around the same time my next smear test is next year.
Symptoms are I get mild cramping after ovulation and on day 7 intense cramping then on and off intense cramping and spotting till my period exactly 14 days after ovulation. My cycle is regular and we’ve now been TTC for 6 months. I was always worried that I’m infertile but everything points to perfect ovulation and perfect conditions. My partner is going in for SA this week. I’m feeling happy that there’s nothing wrong with me but also upset that nothing can fix my pain and no ‘big fix’ to our fertility issues.
Anyone got any advice for me, I’m highly stressed and highly depressed about it all. I new even before we started trying that it wouldn’t happen for us, it’s like when you want something so much there’s no way it will be a happy ending.
(Dyslexic sorry for typos)

hey everyone! i have really mentally struggled the last 9 months since i was initially infected. i won’t be holding back at all in the post, because even though this is gross, i really hope it might help someone and even help me to share my story. upon my first outbreak in august 2023, i had to visit 3 different doctors before i actually received a proper diagnosis. first doctor thought it was herpes, second thought it was bad razor burn, and finally the third took me seriously and confirmed that it was neither. 3 full STD panels that all tested urine, blood, and direct swabs were completely negative, which is what finally resulted in my diagnosis of molluscum contagiosum (MC). additionally, i developed and tested positive for awful bacterial vaginosis (BV) upon the time of my infection as well.
my first outbreak was mainly all in the same area, clustered in the fold of my bikini line on my right side. because the area rubbed so much as i walked around, the bumps were basically rubbed raw, which is what i believe caused them to spread. i don’t have any bumps in that area now, but i do now have 3 right by my vulva and one on my anus, all of which have been there pretty much this whole time. i also have one at the bottom of my right butt cheek that is pretty new—appeared maybe a month and a half ago.
my first doctor prescribed me valacyclovir pills, but only 2 weeks worth, and they did not affect the appearance of the bumps at all. he also prescribed me metrinidazole vaginal gel for the BV, which seemed to work initially in at least flushing out the BV infection. however, since my MC infection, i have on and off had BV virtually the entire time, with very strange discharge. the discharge ranges from grayish to neon yellow, is extremely thick, sticky, and clumpy, and it smells not necessarily awful but not healthy if that makes sense. the potency of the smell fluctuates, where some days it has no scent, and other days i can smell it through my pants (can’t believe i’m admitting this online😭). for the BV, i have also tried honeypot brand boric acid capsules that are inserted into the vagina and left overnight. the capsules work to clear the BV temporarily, but it still returns, likely going hand in hand with my molluscum infection. my third doctor that actually diagnosed me provided me with mupirocin ointment to apply to the bumps daily. i was extremely diligent with applying the ointment multiple times daily with clean hands and everything. however, after it did nothing to help for 3 months, i have become more lax with the application, only applying it once a day to no avail.
i will also admit, i have not taken the best care of myself since the initial infection. this last year was my senior year of college, and i have also been working full time and just trying to scrape by. my sleep schedule is non existent especially with some of my shifts only having a 6 hour gap between them, lol. i have felt so ashamed of myself and just hoping the bumps will go away, even though i know that isn’t logical. i have hardly had time to devote to treatment anyway, with my most recent doctors appointment being in november. i definitely entered a state of denial for a while as well where i almost forgot i had the bumps.
now that i have graduated college, i know that i can’t allow myself to live like this anymore. i have read many of the posts in this thread and am so inspired by everyone’s patience and risillience with dealing with this. as a first step, i have started women’s multivitamin supplements to ensure that i am getting 100% of my daily value of vitamin C, zinc, and etc to hopefully help my immune system. i also now have a gynecologist appointment scheduled for this monday, may 17th, to final face my fears and address this again. i plan to update following the appointment, of course.
in addition to just wanting to share my story, i would also like to ask if anyone reading this has advice for treatment strategies and for talking to my doctor. i want to be as thorough as possible with my appointment, because as someone with a bit of ✨ trauma ✨, it is really mentally taxing for me to keep having to show doctor after doctor my vagina. if anyone knows of specific treatment options i should ask about, i would love to hear it. also, if anyone knows about a correlation between MC and BV, i would be really interested to hear about that as well.
thank you so much you guys. to anyone who is struggling with this, you are not alone. you deserve to get better and you WILL get better💛

My MIL who passed away in January is being memorialized and interred on May22. Her son, my husband, adamantly refuses to attend given that he “has made his peace” with her passing. Since we have known about the event for months I still went ahead and booked flights, car and hotel rentals and booked professional and health-related appointments to coordinate while we are in town. I was hoping to twist his arm into attending his own mother’s funeral. We live in Calgary and the memorial is held in Ottawa. I planned on attending as planned with or without him to support and be there for his family with whom I have a 22year relationship. She (MIL) came to terms with her sons same sex relationship and his parents have adopted my family into theirs open arms.
Now here’s where it gets complicated. Monday my husband suffered a severe bout of food poisoning and he is now in the ICU in septic shock from E.coli. Today he is still intubated and semiconscious responding only to verbal commands. He has no concept and certainly little awareness when I visit. However the prognosis is good and should recover within a week or two ( he also underwent an exploratory laparotomy last night that he needs to heal from before any hospital discharge ). My adult daughter and her soon to be husband are local and I have asked them to visit at least once daily. I am to leave in 36 hours
I am a retired physician myself and am aware of the medical complications that can still happen -he is not out of the woods yet by any means. Please abstain in the comments any medically-related posts since I will either refute them wholeheartedly.
What I want to know - and if there are any ethicists out there PLEASE chime in- do I travel 5 days away while the hubby is in hospital and mostly unaware of my existence but for the hour I’m allowed to visit ? do I go ahead with the plan to support his family during this ordeal and attend to the commitments I have arranged during that time ? OR do I stay at bedside or at least local “in case” his situation deteriorates (which chances are minimal given his progress from death-bed to stably unstable) and need to reschedule the commitments and not be the support for his family ?
To be clear I will ALWAYS be available for any medical decisions by telephone EXCEPT for the times I will actually be airborn (4hr flights)

Deciding to pursue fertility treatments like in vitro fertilization (IVF) or intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI) is a significant step for couples struggling with infertility. While these treatments offer hope for parenthood, it's crucial to be well-informed and prepared before embarking on this journey. This blog post aims to shed light on the essential aspects couples should consider before undergoing IVF or ICSI.
Understanding IVF and ICSI
IVF is a complex series of procedures involving extracting eggs from the female's ovaries, fertilizing them with sperm in a laboratory, and then transferring the resulting embryos into the uterus. ICSI, a specialized form of IVF, involves injecting a single sperm directly into an egg to achieve fertilization. Both IVF and ICSI are assisted reproductive technologies (ART) aimed at addressing various fertility challenges.
Assessing Your Fertility Situation
Before opting for fertility treatments, it's essential to have a thorough evaluation of both male fertility and female fertility. This typically involves a comprehensive medical history review, physical examinations, and diagnostic tests to identify any underlying causes of infertility. Common factors affecting female fertility include ovulation disorders, fallopian tube blockages, endometriosis, and uterine fibroids. Male fertility issues may include low sperm count, poor sperm motility, or abnormal sperm morphology.
Emotional and psychological preparation
Fertility treatments can be emotionally taxing, with a rollercoaster of hope, anxiety, and disappointment. It's crucial for couples to acknowledge and address these emotional challenges together. Consider seeking counseling or joining support groups to connect with others experiencing similar journeys. Open communication and mutual support are key to navigating the emotional aspects of fertility treatment.
Financial Considerations
IVF and ICSI can be expensive, with costs varying depending on the clinic, location, and specific treatment plan. Before starting treatment, research the financial aspects, including medication costs, consultation fees, and laboratory charges. Inquire about potential insurance coverage and explore financing options if needed. Understanding the financial implications upfront helps avoid unexpected expenses and allows for better planning.
Treatment Success Rates and Expectations
IVF and ICSI success rates vary depending on several factors, including age, cause of infertility, and overall health. It's essential to have realistic expectations and understand that multiple treatment cycles may be required to achieve a successful pregnancy. Your fertility specialist can provide personalized information on success rates based on your specific circumstances.
Legal and ethical considerations
Fertility treatment involves complex legal and ethical considerations, especially when using donor sperm, donor eggs, or gestational carriers. Understand the legal implications and ensure you have a clear agreement with all parties involved. Discuss ethical concerns, such as genetic testing of embryos and the potential for multiple pregnancies, with your fertility specialist and make informed decisions based on your values and beliefs.
Lifestyle and health factors
Maintaining a healthy lifestyle is crucial during fertility treatment. Follow your doctor's recommendations regarding diet, exercise, and stress management. Avoid smoking, excessive alcohol consumption, and recreational drug use, as these can negatively impact fertility and treatment outcomes. Optimize your overall health to enhance your chances of success.
Choosing a Fertility Clinic and Specialist
Selecting the right fertility clinic and specialist is paramount. Research clinics thoroughly, considering their experience, success rates, and patient reviews. Look for a clinic that offers a comprehensive range of services, including diagnostic tests, treatment options, and emotional support. Establish a good rapport with your fertility specialist, ensuring open communication and trust throughout the treatment process.
Alternative options and complementary therapies
While IVF and ICSI are effective treatments for many couples, exploring alternative options and complementary therapies may be beneficial. Acupuncture, yoga, and herbal supplements are some complementary approaches that may support fertility and reduce stress. Discuss these options with your fertility specialist to determine their suitability for your situation.
Conclusion
Embarking on fertility treatment is a significant decision that requires careful consideration and preparation. Understanding the different aspects discussed in this blog post empowers couples to make informed choices and navigate the complexities of IVF or ICSI. Remember, seeking support from fertility specialists, counselors, and support groups can enhance your journey towards parenthood. With knowledge, preparation, and perseverance, many couples can overcome infertility challenges and achieve their dream of having a family.

Hi! I'm 25f and my mother opened up to me about medical history and stories about my birth which led to her saying she was diagnosed with endometriosis at 23. Now I'm thinking I might also have it. Ive read online and within a few posts on this community about more indepth/personal symptoms and its starting to look like I might have it or I at least want to have a conversation with my Dr about it. Idk if it's good to give my whole menstrual story so I'll just do symptoms and one little detail. Symptoms: extreme and intense cramping during mentration (they can last hours and overcounter doesnt work for more than maybe 30mins for minor relief), started cramping/pelvic pain in ovulation and sharp stabbing pain during intercourse a few months ago, fatigue (throughout the month but more so in luteal until menstration), my IT band and all the little hips muscles?/bands? are usually considered tight, I experience sharp zolting pain in my thighs- mid thigh to knee (mostly when I was young but it still happens), I don't have diagnosed IBS but I don't have a normal poop usually ever or it goes back and forth between diarrhea and constipation, I get nauseated after eating greasy food or sometimes food in general (sucks living in the Southern USA or eating a lot of MSG), I am currently taking depression medication for high to moderate depression and moderate to low anxiety, lower back pain, I have almost fainted a couple times in my 15ish years of menstruation. A little story: I had an abnormal pap and turned out there was some squamous cells in there so they had to do a biopsy. Dr. goes to lance it and I just let out a little "eep" from the pain. And Dr. goes 'I know that was pretty painful so take your time after I'm done down here' [paraphased]. I told him oh that hurt but thats usually how bad my cramps are and at least it went away pretty quickly because I get those and they'll last at least an hour. And the dr and attendant looked at bit horrified and didn't really know what to say. (I didn't get drugged and it was noncancerous for others wondering) If you made it this far thank you! Any feedback, validation, or whatever is greatly appreciated. P.S.IDK if my mother knows that there's a higher risk of having endo when other family members have it and even if she did she may not have remembered as she's had/still has a lot of other health issue to keep track of and I love my momma so please dont bash her.

Edit
Just want to say I could really use advice or input from a therapist here. Him informing me that he is considering terminating treatment feels to me like a punishment but that is most certainly not the case. However I’m not sure how to act with him until I find out what his decision is. Like I don’t want to beg. It’s possible too that this is some kind of test because in the past he has said he worries I may hurt myself if something happens with our relationship
So basically my psychologist who I will call Dr m gave me an ultimatum of either I get sober and go back on Suboxone or we terminate treatment. This sent me into quite a spiral. But Before I had a chance to agree to these terms Dr m called my parents because he says he felt I was a threat or harm to myself and ye broke confidentiality by doing so.
I felt extremely hurt and betrayed that Dr m contacted my parents who he knows are abusive.
But today i complied and I followed through and met with the psychiatrist and went back on Suboxone as per the ultimatum I was given but Dr m called me ANYWAY and informed me that he is worried that our relationship cannot be fixed and so he is consulting with his peers about whether To terminate therapy or not. He said he would let me know by tomorrow afternoon.
I’m panicking. I don’t want to lose my therapist of almost a decade.
I think the ultimatum was wrong for many reasons and that calling my parents was wrong and I felt betrayed but then I think it is extra unfair to call me to say he may terminate despite me following through on the treatment plan like he wanted me to. Even though i followed through on his ultimatum and even though he called my parents and informed them without permission I still don’t want to lose him.
I don’t know what to do. I’m almost thirty. He’s been my therapist for sooo long. Part of me already didn’t think it could be salvaged since he broke confidentiality and wouldn’t admit it was wrong to do. He had other options too other than call my parents. He could have done a wellness check or he could have actually just called me to see if I would hurt myself. But he kept saying those weren’t options. But I know they were as he has done them in the past. Truthfully i think he didn’t think it through.
While one part of me also thinks it can’t be fixed there is a bigger part of me that just doesn’t want to lose my therapist.
I am diagnosed with DID and he meets with one of my alters once a week. How am I meant to explain this to a child alter who is maybe four years old that she suddenly will never get to see or speak with him again.
I asked Dr m that if he decides to terminate to please meet with this child part during the discharge session if it comes to that and he said absolutely not because he cannot explain this to a child part and she would just have a tantrum on his office floor.
I am terrified the call I get tomorrow is that Dr m is terminating therapy. He matters more to me than I can explain in a post and he has helped me so much. I feel termination is a punishment for my having relapsed or for telling him I could report him for his violation of confidentiality.
I could really use advice
I am mostly worried about the other parts of me who won’t understand.

Hi all,
This may be a bit TMI, so I apologize. I’m hoping maybe someone on here may have experienced something similar, or have any possible insight as to what kind of shenanigans my uterus if getting up to now.
I did bring this up to my APRN who just kinda….raised an eyebrow, then shrugged. But it really doesn’t seem normal and I’m not sure if I should be concerned or not.
So here’s my issue-
I get a ton of egg white mucus during my period. I use a menstrual cup, so I’m really familiar with color and consistency….and often I have a day or two of mostly clear egg white jelly consistency discharge, but streaked with blood and menstrual tissue. This usually happens on the second or third day of my period, after a day of very very heavy bleeding and really painful cramping. This is pretty new, it’s been going on for the past couple of years (and coincided with other PCOS symptoms worsening).
The similarities between that and the discharge I see when I know I’m ovulating are lowkey concerning.
Anyone have any thoughts or similar experiences? It’s just so freaking weird. It seriously looks like I’m both menstruating and ovulating at the same time….which makes no sense as I get similar discharge halfway through my cycle along with ovulation cramping, and all the other classic signs of ovulation.

So I’d been binge drinking throughout my 20s. Always had just a few too many and it affected relationships, lost friendships, but was almost keeping it in check. One time I broke up with my partner of 4 years and spent 3 days drinking alone then fessed up to my parents (who were interstate) and was sober for close to 3 months.
For a while was great with wine here and there, and really enjoyed the culinary side of it
Fast forward to the 2020s and my habit went from drinking to be social to instead drinking alone in my room. Ubereats delivering bottles of brandy, high strength ciders, whatever could be cheap and get the job done. I’d gone through some bullying at work, hadn’t had a relationship in a long time, gained weight, and things just felt really bleak.
My dream promotion (a role rarely offered) was coming up so I finally decided to get my act together. Stopped drinking, had a week off work to go through withdrawals at doctors advice. The following week I was late by 2-3 minutes to work (but always stayed back much longer). But I had some good initiatives to put in place.
Then I was called in for an “investigatory meeting” about having breached the “attendance policy”. I explained that my absences were legitimate as proven by medical certificates, and the rest was a case of Covid. My doctor wrote a supporting letter too.
I received a written warning meaning I’m now ineligible for the promotion, instead a newer team member who I trained is likely going to get it.
That was enough of a trigger for me to buy some drinks. Was a bit hungover at work the next day but figured it was just a small lapse and I’d be fine. But it was the mother of all work days, everything going wrong, physically and emotionally exhausted with no support.
Drank again that night, then after having run out of alcohol I took an Uber to the only bar still open, a strip Club. I don’t even enjoy strip clubs, but they have alcohol. I have vague memories of making “friends” with various patrons, and a vaguer memory of then going to the brothel bar upstairs as some dude in a suit was buying everyone champagne before he left with his sex worker.
Next thing I remember it’s about 10am and I apparently called in sick to work (but don’t remember). Next I know I’m back at home eating a burger with a friend of a friend and there’s more alcohol. Next I know I’m in the back of an ambulance with a massive lump on my arm, taste of vomit, sore all over.
Now back at home, discharged, off work for 3 days with a medical certificate, worried I’m going to be fired from the job I’ve had for nearly 12 years.
I’ve blown through about 3 quarters of my savings (thousands of dollars). And things are feeling hopeless.
Anyway, commented on here a lot but never posted. Just thought I’d share (although from throwaway account because the meeting was “confidential”). Thanks for reading.

I got a surgical abortion at 7 weeks. It was the most nerve wracking experience but turned out completely fine. I hope this post helps others going through this as I was lurking in this community for support and doubts throughout.
For context, I am 25 and live in Germany - Nürnberg to be precise. I found out at the beginning of the 5th week as my periods was delayed and I took a pregnancy test through a kit. (Available in dm, rossman and other medical stores - from 3.5 euros). I took multiple tests to confirm even though I already had a gut feeling. There were no symptoms, though in retrospect me and my friends see how tired and moody I had been.
I knew that I was going to abort, having the baby was definitely not an option or something I wanted to. So I immediately called profamilia. They gave an appointment in the next working day. They were super helpful, spoke both English and German, as my partner isn't German and were able to give a list of doctors who do the procedure. (In Germany, abortion is still quite a difficult topic and most doctors do not advertise them performing this). They also cleared my doubts. You can choose to be completely anonymous too. The next thing was insurance, I earned less than 1300~ so my insurance provider covered it. This was very much a relief and it was a simple matter of going to the office directly and filling the form.
I then had to wait a week for the appointment from my gynecologist, ( this was because I was too busy to go directly with work and their phone line had an issue). So I did my ultrasound and checked the condition. I decided on SA as my close friend who'd been through and my healthcare providers recommended it but also because it seemed to be easier than the pills. Then my symptoms started, I felt extremely tired all the time and nauseous. I couldn't get up from my bed, couldn't cook and was absolutely drained. I felt alone and cold.
I choose to do it near a clinic in klinikum. I got an appointment for the abortion just a day after my appointment with the gynecologist. The reviews in general for this particular clinic were not good and people literally wrote like 'traumatizing experience'. I completely disagree. If you know the German way of being direct and professional, this is exactly that! They were really kind and helpful, explained the procedure simply and I was out in around after an hour from when it started.The anesthetist and the doctor who did the procedure met me before to explain and clear further doubts. I got a small duration general anesthesia. I think this really helped as I didn't want to be conscious and remember the experience. I woke up 20ish minutes after I went under and felt cramps like a bad period. The nurse offered me chocolates and a drink. There were people having panic attacks and crying around me which scared me, but the nurses were handling it efficiently. I was allowed to go once I felt fine and was given the prescription for antibiotics to take around the week. I thanked them and left 40 minutes after I woke up.
The cramps went away after an hour. There was light watery bleeding that stayed that day but went away the next day I guess. The nurse advised to not use any hot pack by the way. I had a review with my gynecologist two weeks later to check if everything was fine. I felt better that I choose to abort and made a small tribute by getting some plants and making a small bead.
Overall, I want to thank this community for sharing their experiences and doubts. It really helped me. I am now waiting for my next period. Good luck on your journey, please remember that you're not alone and there are so many people to help. My dms are open!

I tested positive for cdiff in April and was put on vanco for 10 days. My symptoms were not that severe no watery diarrhea, some loose stools, little stomach pain but I had a lot of mucus in my stools with a little bit of blood too.
While on vanco my symptoms for better, I was having more solid stools, going to the washroom less with no more mucus.
A week after finishing vanco I thought I was cured so I had some alcohol and ate some chips and junk food. The following days were bad again, going to the washroom a lot and seeing mucus again.
I got another stool test and I was positive for cdiff but my doctor wants to hold off on putting me on antibiotics again since my symptoms are not to bad right now. Recently ive been following a low fodmap diet and cutting out coffee and alcohol completely.
My current symptoms: going to the washroom more often than usual (4-5 times a day) but it’s always a formed solid stool with little to no mucus. I’m scared of eating normally again in fear of it getting worse.
My question is even though I tested positive again for cdiff is it possible that I’m not actually still infected but instead experiencing post infection IBS? How long until I’m back to normal?
Also Should I be taking florastor? What else can I do

Just want to make a little post to show that it is possible to love bedside nursing!
I started in the ICU as a new grad 4 years ago and while I learned a lot and enjoyed some aspects of the job, I realized it wasn’t for me. We were constantly short staffed and I was tired of caring for the same noncompliant frequent flyers or alcohol withdrawal patients who I knew would be back within the month. I felt like the hard work I was doing for these people didn’t matter.
About a year and a half ago I made the switch to my current job, a level IV (highest acuity) NICU. It was definitely a transition, but I can truly say I love my job and it is so fulfilling. I work 3 12’s a week on night shift. I take care of really sick babies and more often than not, get to watch them grow and discharge from the NICU. I still get to use my critical care skills and work with drips, vents, lines, etc. but there are also some days when the most complicated thing I do is feed a baby or give meds through NG tube. The parents are so grateful for my care and I have had multiple parents ask if I would join their baby’s care team and tell me how much they appreciate me. That never happened at my old job.
All of this to say, if you’re not happy where you are, keep looking. There are better jobs out there and you aren’t stuck. Of course this job isn’t perfect and I’ve had many hard shifts, but overall I love it and feel I am making a difference in my patients’ lives. There are only so many jobs that can say that and I feel lucky to have found this one!

I am honestly so exhausted and spent from all of the things pulling at me in life, and what I would love right now is for someone to bring me food, put me under a soft blanket on the couch, eat me out for hours to relieve me without any expectations of what I can do for them (holding my thighs and telling me “uh uh, you wanted this. You wanted me to distract and take care of you so that’s exactly what I’m going to do.”), and then cuddle with me and hold me until I fall asleep.
I definitely believe I am ovulating on top of being generally touch starved, because I’ve been quite horny and felt SO sensitive down there and on my boobs.
This is so fucking overrated and I don’t know what to do because every time I get close to being physically intimate with someone it doesn’t end up working out, and I just don’t have it in me to hookup right now unless it’s a very good friends-with-benefits situation.
Anyways.
also noting that I am gender nonconforming/do not identify as a woman, and this is not an invitation to make sexual advances in my dms. The only messages or comments I will accept or answer are from people who get it/are being respectful of the nature of this post.

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Romuna Administrative Orbital Headquarters, United Confederation Occupied Territories of Earth (QUAL-ZANV)
May 8, 1945
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Commander Dunajski
- - - - - -
We were the watchful eyes over Earth. That was my job. The only thing second to that was the search for the missing pieces of my life.
As usual, however, that work was hard. After all, the past two years had been the same process. I get my human subordinates to find a list of names from anywhere: concentration camps, labour camps, ghettos, and all of those rotten places. Then, they'd hand me a report with the unimportant names blacked out and only the specific names I needed were left uncrossed. I had spent two years doing that process, every day on this station was spent doing that. Finding those two was the main goal of my life; It's what let me wake up every morning. The hope of a reunion.
But, until I got my hands on another report, I was keeping myself busy with monitoring my subordinates on the Romnua Space Headquarters as we orbited over Southern Africa. Something to help me take my mind off of everything was admiring our native Earth from my post. The golden deserts of Namibia and the green rainforests of the Congo dominated the view from the huge glass wall that separated us from the cold vacuum of space. Although I’ve been on this damn station for two years now, the sights never cease to get a gasp of amazement from me.
The Confederation used this station and 16 others to monitor and keep tabs on anything happening on Earth. We were the keen observers that protected Earth from any foreign incursion.
A bit ironic coming from the people who invaded us.
At least the Germans didn’t fill us with such lies.
The only reason why they chose me to run this joint human-Confederation sector was because I was an unwilling favourite of their high command. I was one of the best remaining generals in Poland. I served in the Great War and the Polish-Soviet War as a lowly troop, but I was a respected general by the time of the German invasion in 1939.
I defended my country for as long as I could. I resisted for a long time after our official surrender. When the Nazis got to me, they carted me off to a labour camp. Then I escaped and continued the fight on the British Isles, being airdropped and ferried out on multiple occasions. Once the Confederation arrived, my fight against the Nazis and their brutal occupation ended, but I was left without the sunshine of my life.
“Here’s the registered civilian report, sir,” a Lithuanian lieutenant saluted as he handed me a manila folder with a printed paper that had a list of names typed onto it. Even though Lithuania and Poland weren’t the greatest of chums before the war, occupation by the Soviet and Nazi barbarians created a sense of tragic camaraderie between our people.
“Did you file out the names?” I asked calmly, flipping open the folder. I kept my ears open for the response as I waded my hands across pages of paper with smooth flips.
“Yes, sir,” the lieutenant replied as my eyes scanned the paper. The names were crossed out in black marker. I scanned it top-to-bottom and page after page. I began to lose hope even more, but then again, it’s not like there was much left of it anyway.
I had been searching for them for two long years. Two years of going against the rules of our hulky alien occupiers. I used their systems to find evidence and our tools to file them out into something comprehensible. I wouldn’t trust an “AI” to find the names I was looking for. The Germans kept well organised records of everything well-organised, so a good thorough search was probably the best thing I had. Still, however, it was an arduous process.
But, just as that thought appeared in my mind, it was my eyes that had fixed on the one name I had been anticipating for the last two years:
Katarzyna Kaminski. My love.
I must’ve jumped with joy. I’d done it! I found her! After what? Six long years of waiting and searching! Finally! First my wife, and then that would open the gate to finding my son too! After so long! I’d see them again! This day was something to be remembered forever!
“Oh, you did your job spectacularly!” I cheered to the lieutenant. However, his expression was more grim.
“Ne, pone,” he advised sombrely in Lithuanian, shaking his head. "The top of the page.”
I was so hooked in my search for any sign of my family that I forgot to even read the title of the page. Looking up, my eyes locked onto the print and read. In a moment, my hopes were stamped out and rage and suffering swallowed my heart like the deep blue ocean.
Registered List of All Prisoners Killed in Auschwitz Death Camp in the Year of Our Lord 1942
Everything went silent in an instant. I froze upright with my eyes glued to the paper. My ears began to ring like a shell had just hit nearby. My face bubbled red in embarrassment, rage, and most of all, misery. My legs felt just about ready to collapse inward and my hips were ready to explode outwards. My body pushed against itself, betraying my fundamental being as my eyes reread the name over and over, trying to make some worthless attempt to console my burning body of emission. None of it worked.
My Katarzyna. Gone. In one sentence. All my joy trampled in a second.
She died not even with a proper burial. She died leaving her son and not knowing if her fighting husband would even embrace her again. All of my searching, and the result was this. This.
It seems that the story of my search for my loved ones ended here. But upon reviewing the rest of the list in silence, I couldn’t find a single mention of a Jakub Dunajski. All my hope was gone to the extent that I held out no idea that Jakub survived the camps.
If his mother didn’t, then he didn’t either.
The final verdict of my search hit me like a train: I would never see my family again.
That depressing day I had to leave them in September of that fateful year was the last time I’d ever see my son and wife again. Our paths diverged with me toling in labour camps hoping to escape to find them once more. And while I was fighting onwards in England, they were shipped to Auschwitz to die. While I was toiling in captivity, they were being beaten and tortured daily. While the Confederation swept across Europe, they were gassed or gunned down in their cots.
After all this time, the thought that I had been suppressing for my entire search was now the dominant ruler of my brain. It was the fact that I had failed them.
I did not sob loudly, I did not scream. Nor did I stamp the floor or tear the page from the folder. I resisted them all. As I had for the past six years. The only response the Lithuanian got from me was a barely audible whimper and a tear.
The tear rolled from my eye down my shaved cheek, slowly dripping down and curving up to my chin in a swift motion. It hung there delicately as if it was absorbing all of my pain into it. Then, when the load became too much for it to bear, it fell. Quickly slipping off and dropping down before it slapped against the white page with a plop. A stain that looked like a crater in no man’s land now rested, ingrained into the paper that killed my hope.
The paper that essentially killed my wife.
Silence engulfed the room and ringing my ears as the words and black marker on the paper became no more than a blur, incomprehensible and unidentifiable. That’s what I wanted anyway, every glance at the page would just finalise the fact that it all was over. That I was alone.
“Legion-Commander Henix wants to see you,” an unforgiving feminine alien voice came from behind me. I jumped in response as my head flew back to meet the alien.
It was a Yetiayhu. And, as was apparently commonplace, they had the typical fangs and talons that all species other than us seemed to have, along with a giant tail that had a little ball of fur at the very end of it. Adding onto that, the Yetiayhu had large expansive cool-coloured frills that were interrupted by little blackish-blue dots here and there, like some Amazonian animal. Their bodies were slimmer than others but still pretty much buff tanks compared to me.
“For what purpose?” I replied with a brow raised in suspicion. My experience in the military and as a resistance head gave me a good tutorial on how to suppress the tears in one’s voice. After years upon years of endless trial and error, I had pretty much perfected it. But, in the case of my reddened eyes, I brought the brim of my military cap down to obscure my eyes.
“He didn’t tell me. Get moving,” the Yetiayhu hissed, her frills fluttering in annoyance.
I almost forgot that the aliens didn’t give a shit about any of our feelings. I’m sure showing too much emotion was an offence in the Confederation military. Could you imagine emotion being a punishable offence? What sort of dystopian fascist hellhole did that!?
Oh wait, I could think of one: Nazi Germany.
My eyes subtly fixed on the Yetiayhu with a bit of contempt that she came to me at my worst moment. I just found out that my wife was unceremoniously killed in a death camp, and she was just acting as pouty as a kid. Granted, she didn’t know of my suffering, but that attitude is deserving of a wrist-slap back on my world.
Too bad for me, the world I’m referring to was no longer even ours anymore.
“You better show some respect,” I huffed, containing my emotions in a little capsule of misery.
“Last time I checked, you were still a transpec,” she scoffed. “Get to his office. Now.”
I couldn’t say no. The first was because she was right about our species’ standing as a “Transitional Species”. But the other reason was because the females of these species were huge. It made sense since their system of governance was a matriarchy. But even then, this bitchy Yetiayhu was a good 2.3 metres tall, towering over me by quite a bit.
Why the hell were these species so damn demonic? Did nature really just shit on us for all of evolution? Every single alien species I had ever seen was some sort of superhuman being. Was there some galactic hierarchy that I didn’t know of? But whatever, there was nothing I could ever do about that fact. The most concerning thing on my platter now was finding the fate of my only child. Whatever Henix had would have to come second.
But either way, I obliged. Leaving my little command sector with a scowl. The doors hissed shut behind me and I turned to my left and began my journey. To prevent an emotional disaster, I tried to ease my haywire senses by inspecting the futuristic facility around me.
Around me was a circular walkway that wrapped around the edge of the station as the outer rim wrapped around the core. Now that I think about it, the station resembled more like a solar system than the bullseye some of the Hungarians compared it to. There was a huge spherical central command at the core of the structure, and then there were the rims. Those were essentially shorter tube structures that wrapped around the centre. Like an orbit.
But these “orbits” weren’t separated by any spaces at all and were all bunched together and connected. The only open space in this station was between the centre and the outer sectors, which was only punctuated by multiple pressurised walkways. The other sectors and posts were in a concentric batch of circular structures around the core. Where I was going, was into the core.
I strolled along the outskirt walkway before taking a right turn into the deeper sections of the station. The view changed from a large window of space to machines and tech beyond my comprehension as I made my way into the inner sectors. The closer it was to the core, the more important it was. These areas were exclusively for the Confederation members, so no human without permission or clearance could enter. But apparently, they were okay when I was there. Many of them gave parting glances before getting back to their work on their “holograms” and “holopads”.
That was something to note, the tech difference between our two civilisations was greater than we could even conceived of, following the Armistice. I watched as humanity went from pigeons and telegraphs to radios and enigma. Now these aliens had “networks” and “internets”. All the new tech was annoying and complex, I never knew what to do. That’s why my sector, the only sector with humans, used telegraphs, enigma, morse, paper, ink, pen, typewriters, and everything else that you would find in an earthly workplace.
I went through a workplace that was basically a science fiction book. It had bright white individual work pods, big glowing blue screens that weren’t even tangible, and so many other things that were too much for me to comprehend. This was stuff only a writer could come up with! Even if we had all of the guns, tanks, and planes our planet’s resources would’ve let us make, it still wouldn’t have even come close to the weapons of the Confederation and their sophistication.
After a long stroll through the labyrinth of connected stations and workplaces, I finally reached the connecting walkways. I entered a little middle chamber that hissed a little gas onto me and ran over me with a blue and red laser. The other doors then opened and I was let through into the lightless walkway.
Once again, only space shined through the top glass dome that ran across the whole upper section of the walkway. But even if I wanted to, I couldn’t even gaze at the stars due to the circumference of the spherical central command blocking half my vision. The outside cover of the sphere was white and hexagon padded, which just added to the already humongous gap between humanity and our Confederation conquerors.
But, even if I looked beyond that when no structures were blocking my view, I could see at least a hundred or more blocky slabs of black and grey.
And there it was, the Confederation Occupational Fleet. It was so menacing with all of their Vatican-sized ships. Except, those ships were only frigates. Their fleet had cruisers, frigates, destroyers, battleships, battle cruisers, carriers, supercarriers, and everything in between. All to monitor our little desolate rock of two billion.
Their supercarriers which were probably the size of Rome, were the prides of the enemy fleet. Those bulky beasts and their battleships were the literal symbols of their superiority. All of these ships had enough firepower to raze a good million or so Earths. Why they sent all of this to deal with a species that hadn’t done anything past grazing space with a V-2 rocket was beyond me.
Overkill, My mind ranted to itself. Ego just radiates off those ships like heat from the sun!
Speaking of the sun, in a good few months, there wouldn’t even be one.
Or, to be more specific, it would be pretty much enclosed in a megastructure to harness power from it. The Confederation called their mad project a “Hrana Complex”. Construction began even before they attacked Earth, and they were making progress. Whenever a human complained about it, the Confederation ilk always shot them down with either a patronisation of their primitive nature or a response that there would be a small window for Earth to receive light; As if that was better.
The sun was dimmer and dimmer by the day, the one light that all humans looked up to was fading. Blocked out by tech and machines from the occupying powers. That’s like if the Germans built a big space shield to block America from the sun and kill all of their crops or something.
The idea was so alien that not even I could come up with a relatable explanation for it!
After a long while of distracting myself with successful results, I finally reached the other side of the walkway, which was a large metal door. I now had to push the heavy metal door open with difficulty as it slowly hissed open. Upon entering, I was greeted by two Bwkas, who were basically supersized humanoid bears, but with deadly attributes tripled in their power and appearance. Of course, I was met with the average stare of contempt as I made my way up to them.
“And why are you here?” one of them growled with venom as it balanced its heavy rifle in its claws. Those “rifles” were the size of an anti-tank rifle or an Ami bazooka. The difference was that it was also automatic and powered by plasma. Just by seeing that, anyone could’ve already predicted it to you that humanity was doomed from the start of the war.
“Legion-Commander Henix wanted to speak with me?” I replied with a head tilt.
“Up the stairs and down the left hall to the right,” the other grumbled with a snarl of its fangs. He was talking as if I didn’t know where my own senior officer was.
I rolled my eyes secretly and trudged on. Scurrying off into the main lobby, I gazed up to see that the vertex of the roof was an absolutely stupendous 40 metres high! That just added a cavernous feeling to the multi-floored white chamber. It was a whole office building in space.
Not many of those were left in Warsaw anyway.
As I made my way toward the circulating stairwell, my gaze snapped to the circular stellar map that projected a huge three-dimensional view of the galaxy. I couldn’t help but be mesmerised by the glowing non-touchable lights every time I saw it. The map was of the whole known galaxy, the dark pink was the Confederation at the centre. It was huge, at least triple the size of the second largest power, whose name was in an alien tongue unknown to me. All the other colours were of the different species that were independent states and empires of their own.
Free from the forced “civilising” we were suffering through.
Annoyingly, my long black military boots slapped against the clean granite floor with loud audible clacks. This, of course, instantly drew attention from all the beasts around me. All of them looked at me with confusion before it morphed into what I assumed was judgment. These species didn’t think highly of us at all. I mean, according to them, we were uncivilised brutes. Dumb primates that just invented new ways of chucking rocks at one another.
Now, that wasn’t wrong per se. But, it wasn’t nice when that was their one sole opinion of our species.
From the beginning of my tenure here, they practically spat on me. They saw my use of our antiquated tech to be insubordination, and savage in nature. Whenever I did my Polish two-fingered salute, they saw it as disrespect and dishonour. Whenever I didn’t eat the same solely raw and carnivorous diet as them, I was a disgusting omnivore who was a greedy bastard wanting to steal from both sides.
Whatever that meant! Imagine being persecuted because of what you ate! On Earth, we were prosecuting each other over other stupid things like skin, race, ethnicity, national origin, religion, how people looked, and everything else similar.
But!
Nobody was stupid enough to get mad at each other over food. Muslims didn’t kill Christians over eating pork. Jews didn’t kill Muslims over them eating dairy and meat on the same plate. Food was food. We all needed it to survive. Yet, the aliens saw it as just another thing to hate us for.
How could these things hate us but somehow still force themselves to occupy us? Why didn’t they just let us duke it out in the battlefields and on the high seas? Why were they just lamer Nazis? Death by slow assimilation and bigotry was worse than death by starvation, labour, or the firing squad.
Making my way up some circulating steps to the second floor, I took the turn and rushed down the hall before finding the door to Henix’s room. Pushing it open with a low drum, I was met with the dark room of Legion-Commander Henix. The only thing lighting the room was, of course, empty space. Since we were higher than the orbiting sectors, his window was actually able to see into the rest of outer space.
The dimming sun reflected off of the station’s concentric exterior and the stars shined bright through thick glass and into the little dark room. The floor was akin to an emerald-coloured rug and the walls were shelves for storage devices like their “pads” and “drives”.
“Greetings, sir,” I opened to the Kohaul with a two-fingered Polish salute.
The Kohaul were the typical humanoids, but they were practically copies of wolves. Light grey fur, a huge bushy tail, and a patch of dense hair around the pelvis area that acted as a sort of frontal tail. Hazel or blue eyes. And, obviously better than us in every way as usual with fangs, semi-venomous saliva, better hearing with their dog ears, the ability to run faster, especially on all fours, and all of that useless garbage that I was used to. Humanity was clearly always the weak link.
Ending my salute and looking to the right, it was then that I noticed at least three other foreign beasts. I quickly recognised them as superiors of different stations and fleets. Why they were here just added to my paranoia.
A Wenli, a Felshan, and a Geinna. Or the more simplified version being: a humanoid dragon, a blue lizard, and a literal Pacific folk beast.
If you were to continue simplifying it even more, you’d come to the definition that they were the three species assigned to resistance mop-up duty on Earth.
“Now, now,” Henix growled. “What is the way I taught you?”
Sighing deeply, I put my Polish general cap to my chest with my left hand before bowing slightly. They wanted us to purge all of the things that made us Polish soldiers and make us their soldiers. I wasn’t going to give up so easily. No matter how much they held me in high regard. They would have to acknowledge that Poland was for the Poles and I would never be anything else.
“Now, I know you are a good commander. You have served us well,” Henix began with a flick from his dog ear. “But, something has come up in recent days that has been of horrible concern to us.”
“And that is?” I asked with a raised brow, sitting at the open chair in front of Henix with a grunt.
“Wasting Confederation equipment and materials on something unsanctioned by any relevant superior on this station,” the Geinna replied for Henix with a hiss.
Oh, kurwa.
They had caught me red-handed. Was today just the day my luck ran dry from its coffers? I was now completely at their mercy. But, these aliens were brutes. So, I was sure that I’d be beheaded within the next hour.
I had tried my best to scrub all evidence of my operations. I put in false reports and fake alerts to give them the facade of me just doing my job. It appears that they saw through my ulterior actions quickly. I was using their tech to do it. Why did I not expect them to know!?
“Now, unless you would be so kind as to tell me why, maybe I’ll pardon your charges,” Henix warned with a composure that put me off.
“Charges of what?” I asked fearfully.
“Well, normally, that would just be a reprimand or demotion at the worst. But since you are a species that we are trying to integrate into the galactic community . . . the punishment is equivalent to treason.”
Henix must’ve seen my face go pallid as his expression softened from robotic seriousness to empathy in a moment. I didn’t despise Henix at all, and this was the exact reason why.
He could feel empathy.
Unlike most Germans.
And he showed reason.
Unlike most Germans.
“Oh, no, don’t worry,” he reassured me with a sombre grin. “I personally do not wish for that fate to befall you. You have served me well. I’ll defend you. But I can’t do that if you won’t even tell me why.”
I would’ve, but I couldn’t. I trusted Henix. Sure, he was as bigoted and cold as his shitty peers. But, I could trust in his word. He wasn’t a crook. But for his comrades present? For all I knew, this was a death trap to get me to confess and to justify a sudden execution. It's not like they would've cared much if I lived or died anyway. I was expendable.
“I know nothing of this,” I affirmed, straightening myself in the slick white chair. Since I was practically a master of all things cold and emotionless, I could just put off a face of resolute honesty without any weaknesses, barring the death of Katarzyna. They’d have to fuck off eventually for that reason, and I’d be more careful with my further searches.
But then again, Katarzyna was dead, and Jakub probably was too. There was nothing else to really risk my life for. Because I had no more life. The two I loved most were gone. I could’ve just let myself die here. I had nothing else. My parents were dead, my home was rubble, my country was occupied, my wife was dead too, and my son was too. I had nothing left to fight for.
“You are the only human in this position of power,” Henix hummed. “We chose you for a reason. You had talent and composure. But this we cannot tolerate. Don’t play coy and tell us.”
“I didn’t do anything wrong,” I huffed with concern mounting in me and gnawing on my soul. “I do not know why you seem to want to frame me for such a crime.”
“Commander Dunajski,” the Felsha snarled. “We’re not stupid. Do not try and lie to us.”
“I am not lying,” I turned to the row of beasts with a scowl. “Whatever could I even use the equipment for? My subordinates only use human machines. Typewriters. Not ‘holographic display devices’ or any of that fancy tech. Why would I even?”
“Commander Duna—”
“No,” I cut off in a calm but harsh tone, “this will not continue.”
Henix looked between the beasts and then he zeroed in on me with his steely blue eyes that rivalled mine, “I know you’re lying, Commander. This will simply mount your charges.”
“In fact,” the Felshan admiral began with a sad smirk, “you could be helping resistance movements for all we know. That level of treason is something very few get and it’s for a good reason. Does that sound like something you’d want?”
“I didn’t do any of the deeds of which I am accused,” I held my ground with a growl. “I have nothing to gain!”
“Do you not?” Henix growled, now agitated. “I’ve noticed a lot of care in searching for a ‘Katarzyna’ and ‘Jakub’. Is there any reason why?”
The Geinna nodded, “Are these contacts or aliases? You know well what fate awaits you if we prove their origin to be that of a resistance cell.”
Oh, Bog. I was really stuck now. They knew their names too. I couldn’t just shrug this off. If I continued parrying their questions, I’d totally get beheaded. They wanted us to be as meek and docile as possible. Me standing up to their accusations instead of folding probably already probably fucked up my chances of clemency.
I looked up to Henix, and his blue eyes were unforgiving. He was waiting for my next move, like a brutal game of chess. I turned to look at the three bastards to my right, their eyes were filled with scorn and disgust at me, at my people.
Just like the Germans.
“I-I . . . I don’t . . . They aren’t . . . ” I began before letting out a deep sigh to empty my tight lungs. Silence enveloped the room for a good few seconds. I couldn’t fight on anymore. I’d lost. “You win.”
“As expected,” the Wenli grumbled. “I expected better of someone like you. But I guess the nature of such a volatile and insubordinate species like you would always dominate your actions.”
I didn’t mind that blatant patronisation of me and my kind as I just looked up at Henix with decimated dreams. Henix seemed to note that I wished to talk as he leaned and sat up straight in his chair. He’d listen. But not his ilk.
“Do you have a testimony, Commander Dunajski?” Henix purred with his head leaned in on his arm.
“Well,” I began with a wince, “i-it’s for a selfish reason to be fair.”
“Mhm,” Henix replied, pulling out one of his hologram pads to write down my testimony. Even if I trusted him, as of now, I couldn’t even trust him with writing my own testimony. For all I knew, he’d probably just warp it into something reminiscent of a last-second attempt at deception or just plain begging.
Then again, he was my best chance to prevent my fate from manifesting.
“I-I-I . . .” I stuttered, not finding the words to express my suffering. My throat burned and my eyes filled with tears. My face of composure was just as fragile as my mental health. All I knew was going to shit.
“You what?” Henix snarled. “I’m not here to take stutters as a testimony. Give me a comprehensible sentence or I can call the guards in to take you to the brigs.”
“I j-just want to find my family,” I blurted blindly. Clamping my eyes shut, I waited for my reasoning to be torn apart by the monsters before me. The monsters that were killing our homes and assimilating us.
Just like the . . . Oh, you know who!
After a little while of uncomfortable silence, I reopened my eyes and looked up at my prosecutors. Henix’s ears perched up in surprise at the confession, and I heard the slaps of tails and the rustle of scales from my side. I expected that to be an even greater reason to punish me. Using their tech just to find my family? Treason it was. I couldn’t even pull myself back together when a few tears rolled down my cheek as I looked to the floor once more in shame.
I fought and worked for Jakub and Katarzyna. Now both were gone. And even if Jakub was still alive, he would be without a father too in this new world. Nothing was happy about this unceremonious end. My story was over, and so were the stories of my family, friends, and parents.
“F-family?” Henix finally hummed with a hint of shock. He then attempted to hide it with his monotone voice. I slowly and quietly sobbed to myself, cursing my weakness. “Tell me more.”
The other beasts in the room shuffled their feet and locked their gazes on me with a bit of anticipation. I was a bit confused by the reaction. How was saying they were my loved ones a game-changer? But, I didn’t pay much attention anyway, my mind was filled to the brim with the stone-cold fact that had haunted me since the beginning of my searches:
I was now alone.
“Wife and son. I-I don’t know where they are. I was searching for them both. Using your systems, I . . . before you summoned me here, I got a report. In it, Katarzyna, my wife of twenty-two years, is dead. My son . . .” I gave a miserable chuckle, “only God Almighty knows where he is now.”
I should have never cried. I should have never shown emotion, especially on this damn station. Emotional control was the most important here. These beasts were very organised and very honour-driven. Crying itself was probably considered treason. At this point, it was just another thing to add on to my list of present offences.
Everything was collapsing in front of me in quick succession.
Instead of scolding me though, Henix just looked at me and watched me fail at controlling my sobs. It gave me an odd feeling that he was just tacitly judging me rather than chastising me verbally. The other beasts were the same, simply wagging their tails in thought or tilting their heads. It unnerved me a bit, but I was too busy internally cursing myself to care about it.
After what felt like my whole tour in Bolshevik Russia, Henix gave a low growl and a wag of his bushy back tail with the words of his sentencing response pushing against his fangs. The fate waiting for me was only a second away, and with that one growl, I’d be done for. What a fool I was to trust any of these pigs!
“I’m sorry about your predicament,” he spoke slowly. “When we saw the crimes of your ‘Nazis’ it became one of the major reasons why we intervened on this damn planet in the first place.”
What a lie. My brain cackled nonchalantly. They’re doing the same things as the Nazis; Although this time, it was all of us who were suffering from it.
Rolling my eyes, I saw through the bullshit. They were no different.
Scraping at his slick and futuristic desk in ponderous thinking, Henix refocused his pristine and steely blue eyes on me, “What you did was unprofessional and highly dishonourable. Anyone who did such an offence would’ve been discharged or demoted with the snap of a maw.
He shook his head in another short pause as he formulated his next response. I hated the silence, I just wanted a “yes” or a “no” if I was to be shot or not. The aliens had a knack to be blunt, but also verbose. It didn’t make sense, but that’s how they worked. And boy did I hate it!
“But, I cannot even attempt to grasp the gravity of the situation you are dealing with,” he began again, snapping me from my thoughts.
I scowled with agitation and furrowed my brows, “Am I still being shot?”
“No,” the other Wenli interrupted with a sigh and a lick of his fangs. “But, we aren’t leaving you here either.”
My mind went berserk As if that was better! Leaving me alive at this point was punishment enough! Without this station, I’d have to scan all of Europe manually. It’d take the rest of my whole pathetic life to cover even half of Poland! Damn these beasts and damn their posturing!
“Well,” Henix thought, “I have an idea. Akvu?”
The Felsha stepped up from the group of beasts and bowed slightly, “Yes?”
“How about we send Commander Dunajski to be a part of the clearance teams?”
The Felsha slapped its tail against the floor in disdain, “Isn’t he under suspicion of connections?”
“I never saw it in him,” Henix replied. “He was hiding something? Yes. But I never expected resistance affiliations. He isn’t that type of soldier. Besides, I used the accusation to crack him, not actually charge him.”
“W-what is my punishment?” I interrupted with mounting impatience as I tapped my jackboot in annoyance. Talking about how they broke me wasn’t what I wanted to hear at the moment. What was important was my quest for my old life. I wanted my wife back, my son, my home, my country.
“So, the idea is,” Henix began with his hands raised in illustrative explanation, “we send you to Earth to root out the resistance pockets. Some random places like Roosiya, Anghipt, Brazza, Mixka, Cooba, and much more. But! There is also an ongoing search for a resistance network in Eirope.”
“Where?” I shot back with rejuvenated hope.
“Central Eirope,” Henix hummed with a grin. “Former human nations like Polna, Cjermaña, Nodorla, Belja, and Cnzecka.”
It took me a good second to decipher those names. What a mess of pronunciation for all of them they were. Since they were busy trying to wipe our uniqueness from us, the aliens had their own names for our old nations, just the same as how they put my Poland in an occupation zone called “Foije”. A stupid name. Now, they were just coming up with mispronounced names for the defunct nations of old Earth.
I absolutely loathed the name “Polna” because “Polska” was better in every way. But they were our conquerors, and they were the bastards who just sentenced me to scouring Europe for my own kind.
“Who’s under my command?” I sighed.
“Oh, just two dozen of every species in the Confederation,” Henix smiled.
“288? That’s kind of small,” I chuckled. “My all-Pole regiment in Britain was at least 1,000 strong.”
“You really think there’s only a dozen species in the Confederation?” Henix snickered. “No, there’s a good seventy. You really thought we sent all of our power across the galaxy to fight some small plucky band of primates? How adorable.”
That ticked me off, but since I didn’t want to bite the hand that spared me from a beheading, I kept my mouth zipped tight. My composure returned and I wiped the tears off with my sleeve as Henix talked with his other peers in their garbled choking that they called a “language”. My goals had shifted from not crying to not snickering as they conversed in the throat cancer they revered as an actual tongue to be spoken by someone.
“For now, you are dismissed,” Henix sighed. “I hereby remove you from your post. You will report to the bays for a debrief.”
“Can I bring my personal belongings?”
“No,” he replied coldly.
“Why?”
Henix squinted his eyes in anger, “Get there and don’t ask any more questions. You are still a disgraced officer and you will not be shown any more mercy from us.”
How reassuring, I scoffed to myself once more. These aliens were as blunt as wood! They might rival my old camp Oberkommando. Hell, they might as well be him!
Sighing, I pressed my hands against the smooth chair and shakily brought myself up again. With another stupid bow, I left while trembling in every limb. I was in a precarious position now. Anything that went wrong under my command, I would take the hit.
But, if it still gave me a chance to at least try and piece my old life back together;
Then I’d throw myself into it with an intrepid Polish spirit.
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Hello,
I have been visiting this sub from last 8 weeks or so and have read every single post. It was very helpful for me and made me feel less lonely. I want to document my journey here, to help me process what happened and in case it helps someone.
It all started in October of 2022. I had no symptoms of cancer ( like heavy bleeding, abnormal discharges, pelvic/back) pain etc at any time during 1.5 years that I dealt with it. I was diagnosed with a polyp during infertility treatment which turned out to have atypical hyperplasia. I was immediately put on Megace by my general gynecologist and was referred to gyn-onc. My regular gyn did an additional biopsy (this time it was D and C) one month after I was put on Megace. I was still waiting for gyn-onc appt at that time and it came back as grade 1 endometrioid adenocarcinoma. I wanted to try fertility sparing route, MRI showed no myometrial invasion and endometrial thickness was 8mm. So continued on Megace for 4 more months (total of 6 months). Follow up biopsy still showed grade1 EC. Gyn-onc suggested hysterectomy. We decided to get second/third opinions.
We consulted two different doctors ( including one from Stanford) and both suggested Mirena IUD implant and continuing Megace. We did that for 6 months and in December 2023, biopsy showed no cancer and ultrasound showed endometrial thickness of 4mm. Doctor wanted one more clear biopsy in March 2024 (3 months after December 2023 biopsy) before releasing me back to fertility doctor.
March 2024 biopsy came back as atypical hyperplasia and cannot completey exclude EC given my history. Gyn-onc suggested to continue the medication and get another biopsy in June. I requested an ultrasound for my peace of mind. Ultrasound showed an irregular endometrium with no clear borders with 32mm thickness with increasing vascularity ! It was unbelievable. I had no symptoms or abnormal bleeding or anything that would indicate a 32mm endometrium. Gyn-onc suggested it must be a mistake by ultrasound tech and ordered an MRI. MRI was scheduled one month after ultrasound and it showed thickened, ill defined endometrium invading into myometrium and more than 50% on the left side of the uterus. At that point, my primary oncologist and second opinion oncologist agreed that we will have to proceed with hysterectomy. Latest biopsy specimens were also sent for second opinion to Stanford and they called EC grade1 ( upgraded from atypical hyperplasia).
I underwent hysterectomy on May 7th. Got the pathology report today. It says scattered focal endometrioid adenocarcinoma grade1, no myometrial invasion and lymph nodes clear. The endometrial thickness varies from 2mm to 6mm !
I have no idea why ultrasound and MRI showed ill defined endometrium with thickness of 32mm and 26mm ! There were not even back to back, they were one month apart ! Doctors simply have no explanation. I could feel gyn-onc feeling kind of bad delivering the news. He said the amount of cancer was underwhelming !
Anyway 1.5 year efforts to save my uterus so that I can carry our baby has reached an end. I am relieved with the results and getting off this roller-coaster with my health intact. But also somewhere it is lurking in my mind that may be I could have gotten away without surgery and proceeded to fertility treatment if I had waited till june and not asked for an ultrasound. I don't know. It will take some time for me to resolve these feelings.
l wish all of you a healthy and fulfilling life ahead.
Edited to add, I was 38 at the time of diagnosis and 40 now.

Hi all
I’m on my 3rd cycle post D&C. I had a hysteroscopy last month to remove a small piece of RPOC.
My periods have been coming at my usual every 26 days and were normal except would start off slow brown spotting leading to about 4 days of bleeding and then would continue to spot brown or have brown discharge for a few more days. The spotting before and after isn’t typical for me.
This is my first cycle post hysteroscopy and it started out more typical for me with heavy red bleeding for 4 days although it lasted for 6 days but now on day 7 and day 8 and I still have brown spotting and discharge. Again not normal for me to continue bleeding like this this far into my cycle.
Is this normal? Is it my new normal? Anyone else have this?