Hi, apologies if I’m rambling, just felt like I needed to type things out or talk about it, or idk, just not keep things in.
Warning that this is a long post and I wouldn’t expect many to read through it, but I’m extremely grateful if you do, truly truly am. But I do actually have questions at the end of the post because I do want to know what to feel and get better.
My losses are all stock market related, but this post wouldn’t be fit for an investing thread because tbh, in hindsight it’s all just gambling.
Background: In 2022, I had my first huge loss of $100K, I didn’t go into debt, but it was literally everything I had, gone. I struggled the next few weeks, feeling lousy, ashamed, angry. I spoke to those close to me like my parents, friends, and I did feel better, thought I turned a new milestone and was driven to recover.
Through the later part of 2022-2023, I did get better. Worked hard at my job and earned an income, built back some savings (although I still have not gotten back to $100K), steadily restarted investing, and truly investing, not gambling “trades”.
However, in the later part of 2023, I started, for some stupid reason, to start playing around in the market. On some days I’ll make $100-$200, and then follow up with a $1000+ loss. I would feel horrible after, top up the loss with withdrawals from my bank account, convince myself that I’m going to walk away, and then for some stupid reason, go back again next week and repeat the process. From 2023 till 2024, I’ve lost probably an additional $20,000, and I don’t know why I keep being so stupid.
Then yesterday, it just happened out of the blue, I lost $11,000 in 1 day…1 day of just doing stupid things in the stock market. I’m still at a loss for words, I feel horrible, absolutely disgusted with myself, especially considering I have a wife and kid. I don’t know why I keep doing this and keep jeopardizing my family’s future. I’m afraid I might one day just truly lose it all if I don’t stop.
As shitty as yesterday was, I’ve since locked myself out of the trading account and I do feel like this is the final wake up call for me…an $11,000 wake up call.
Just wanted to ask: 1. How do you reconcile with what’s lost? In my case, how do I reconcile losing the additional $20,000+$11,000… In my mind I’m just angry and ashamed. The money could have been used for my family, to build a future, for things we actually need. I’m living in so much regret

1. Has anyone gone through what I’ve described? Please tell me you’ve come out stronger

Hi,
We have been married for about 5 years. Through that time there have been ups and downs. My wife has suffered from mental health issues for the complete time of our marriage. At times it has been manageable but other times it has not. My wife lost her job and has been at home recovering for the last 2 years. I am the only income earner. Over the last 2 years my wife expressed things to me about how she feels about me in less than desirable ways which made me feel distant and questioned our relationship. When I would ask her if she would like to end it, she would say no. Over the same course of time my wife has barely managed any household chores and mainly focuses on her own personal activities (leaving the house at 9-10am and returning at 4-5pm) each day. I don’t know what she does and each time I ask her how her day was I feel a little lost regarding how she spent a complete day doing nothing. Again, I avoid trying to dig too deep to avoid any arguments.
Over the same course of time my wife’s spending was in my opinion extreme but I kept giving her spending money mainly so we wouldn’t argue about it. I was never told what she used it for.
Over the last few months, we started counseling, she has started new medication, and made new friends. For some reason she has started paying our monthly bills (even though she has no income source) which I thought was strange. Recently she expressed a feeling that she can’t continue this relationship unless things change, she feels like we are disconnected, and I don’t spend enough time with her. When I tried to better understand what she meant I feel like I was stonewalled. I would like to try to make this marriage work but as I reflect on the past, I am feeling like my wife may have been planning this for a while.
What can I do to try to save this marriage?

In which mostly polite things are said, and yet, so much might have been said.
Synopsis:
After Albert's other friends have left, he takes Monte Cristo to his attic where he stores all his treasures. There, MC continues to delight him with his worldliness and knowledge. MC also notes a portrait of a Catalan woman, looking quite in the fashion of her people, staring longingly out to sea. Albert tells that he loves the portrait of his mother, but it caused some strife between his father and her when she first had it commissioned.
Leaving with Albert, Monte Cristo arrives at the home of the proper Count de Morcerf. He notes the heraldry seems to be of the old kind, and not the new kind. [I confess I was a bit out of the loop on all the significance there.] This seems to imply that their family is truly connected by blood to an old family, which was mentioned before, and they are not some new money aristocrats -- which they most definitely must be, considering Fernand is also a Catalan!
MC is introduced to Morcerf and flatters him properly, then Mercédès comes in and she is strongly affected by seeing MC. Although words are said between them, not much other than thanking him for saving her son is said, then MC is off to his new home and with his shiny new sportscar horses.
Once he is gone, Mercédès is quite stricken. She questions Albert then admonishes him to "beware." But Albert dimisses thiis and she gives in.
Finally we see MC order around Bertuccio in a casual way, and spread the money around with the Notary. However, we get a hint that the house he bought is actually a key part of the grand plan.
Discussion:

1. Fernand appears to be mis-representing his pedigree, not dissimilar to how MC is also misrepresenting his. What do you make of this development and the parallelism of this?
2. Put yourself in Mercédès' headspace. What do you think she was thinking?
3. MC seems to be "in character" most of the time. That whole scene with Bertuccio... real? Or just a way to build his reputation?

Next week, chapters 43 and 44!

Do people actually grind Minotaur for masteries for their champs or just wait till they have the 800 gems and buy them? I’ve been playing about 2 weeks so far and got the gem mine fully upgraded and 2 champions full masteries. Just curious how many days of energy it takes for f2p to grind out, I know a yt video I watched said it’s like 650 or so worth of gems if you were to buy energy (stage 13 I think?) but might as well just wait till you have the extra 150 gems to save your time right? Thanks in advance!

Tldr: husband punched me, he was half sleeping and in a terrible mental state due to drama on his side of a family, and I don't know how do we repair things or even should we?
Let's call my husband Ben.
Yesterday Ben's uncle Robert died. Their side of a family is full of crap and drama. Everyone hate each other.
Uncle's wife Jessica hates her mother in law (Ben's grandma Lauren), she don't wanna let her to the funeral, won't tell her where her son is gonna be buried, only wants inheritance. Grandma Lauren is not an angel too, but she's kind to Ben, and he's the only person who has a relationship with her. So it was him who had to tell her that her son died and that Jessica won't let anyone to the funeral. And grandma Lauren is 85 and has cancer.
Robert and Jessica have a 14 yo son Sammy, who she only had, to sign herself in a family's property. She raised him in absolute dependency of her, won't let him hang out with us (Ben made several attempts), won't let him play outside, deprived him of a healthy childhood, and Ben's heart aches for Sammy, and there's nothing anyone can do. Now he lost his father and his life is ruined. Uncle Robert was a shitty man, but still...
So, Ben came home from grandma's and asked me to let him have a good sleep tonight. We have 2 sons, 3 years old and 7 months old, sleeping in our bedroom, their beds are at our bed's sides. Well, that was the night when they took turns in screaming. Oldest had a bad dream, I calmed him down. Then the baby had God knows what and wouldn't even latch on a boob, just high pitch scream.
And just when he showed first signs of calming down, Ben had enough of being waken up and started yelling something like "I asked one thing, please give me some sleep", etc. I understand, I do. But the baby doesn't. And I asked him to be quiet, that I almost got this, and yelling will only reset the baby's screaming, it will make things worse. Ben won't listen, and I was kinda desperate, so I pressed my hand over his mouth. It pissed him, he shaked my arm with one hand, and instantly punched it with his other hand, with a fist. And then immediately fell asleep.
I'm shaken with this. I would never imagine he could do anything like this. He apologized, but he says he doesn't remember punching me, he remembers wanting to say something that he thought was important, and that I shut him up, and that he got my hand off of him and that's it. He wasn't fully awake I guess. And I understand his feelings, but it doesn't erase mine.
my world turned upside down, I'm terrified of how easy he did it, how he didn't hesitate. So, he had it in him? I was 1000% certain that he could never hit me. Now I don't feel save. This was so unpredictable. I lost a giant part of my trust. I cried all morning. And he asks me for support after all this family crap with Sammy and grandma. And I just cry and can't shake it off.
From all I've read, abuse starts with the first punch and grows gradually, and it's always always recommended to leave the moment it happens. But given the situation? And that we have 2 little kids? And that Ben was nothing but wonderful to us so far? Is this a start or a one time thing? I'm so lost, I can't distance myself from it

i’m so sad right now bawling my eyes out as i type
basically he (33m) told me (23f) he was going to his mothers tonight for dinner, and that his brother is picking him up and i already knew from the moment he said that that something was up cause they have a rocky relationship all three of them. btw he didn’t “tell me” he was going to his moms. he sent me a screenshot of what i now know is a BS fake made up text conversation between him and his mom with her inviting him over.
anyways he left at 8:30 pm and it’s now about to be 7:00am and he still is gone. haven’t heard from him since 1 am and i’ve called several. several times. so i went on his tablet and saw an email of hotel reservations for last night (since it’s now morning).
i just know he would’ve walked in and tried to play it off like nothing happened, would’ve probably lied and said he fell asleep on his moms couch, phone died, she had no charger, house burnt down. probably would have tried to have sex with me too. so i sent him a picture of the email i saw, told him not to talk to or touch me and left it at that. i’m just so done with this back and forth if you knew you were gonna rebel then you should have just broke up with me to begin with.
important backstory:
when we first got together it was after being fwb. so basically he asked if i had sex with anyone within the 6 month timeframe we had stopped talking and i said no but i lied, i did. lasted 6 minutes. i didn’t count that as cheating and still don’t because we weren’t even together..ever…just people that fucked. never was a label. but he considered it cheating. so upon getting officially together, he rebels and fucks someone while on a work trip. 3 times in one week. mine was 1 time for like 6 minutes. when confronted, he denied and lied about it for 2 months straight until finally giving in and admitting it. straight gaslit me.
8 ish months go by and after going thru hell we manage to try and work thru it (on my end) but i ended up sleeping with an older man for money. for the sole purpose of i was desperate for money. i hate that i did it and more so that id have to admit it but i planned on telling him but he found out about it by going on my phone. i guess i did it because idk i guess i never really got over the fact that he really had an 3-day span sex partner right in the beginning of our relationship. he even sent her money during that time.
upon finding out 2 weeks ago, we talked about it and i told him everything and he said he was gonna try and trust me and kept pouring the claims of how he “only wants me and sees me in his life” “we have to make this work” “i still wanna marry you” he seemed to be trying to heal from it (i was deeply honest and apologetic about it, unlike when he was caught and gaslit me). next day he tells me he wanted to shoot his brains out in front of me. he wanted to traumatize me in rebel. one minute he’ll say something like that that turn around and profess his true found love for me. i genuinely think he’s just pretending to love me and just trying to hurt me at this point.
the thing is he only found out about what i did 2 weeks ago. meaning if he cheated THIS fast he’s BEEN had someone lined up. he’s BEEN talking to other girls.
what should i do honestly? we live together i moved out here 7 months ago, 800 miles away from home just for him and my family is back home i don’t have a car right now but am in the process of getting one.
for the sake of finances, im thinking of just waiting until i have at least 2-3 more paychecks saved up and just distance myself in the meantime. because i don’t get the car for at least a week anyways. i have too much stuff to fly and 2 cats. i’m gonna slowly throw some of my stuff away so when i get my car it’s not too full.

Often, we become so used to our routine and doing the same daily tasks that we don’t consider how we could do things differently. But there are plenty of quick tips and tricks that could help simplify your life, while also saving you time and money.
With this in mind, I’ve come up with 2 life hacks that’ll hopefully help you solve everyday challenges in new and creative ways. They can be fun, and satisfying, and they will hopefully make things a little bit easier!

1. Use a trouser hanger to hold your recipe book

This is by far one of my favorite hacks! So many times a recipe book has shut on me while I’ve got my hands covered in flour, so I can’t open it back up to see the next step.
This useful tip will stop you from losing your page (and your flow) when you’re getting creative in the kitchen.
Simply hang your hanger from one of your kitchen cupboard handles and clip your book to it for a low-stress, hands-free cooking experience.

2. Use toilet paper tubes to make seed starter pots

If you’ve got seeds that you’ve been meaning to plant but nothing to plant them in, consider using toilet paper tubes to make seed starter pots.
They’re biodegradable, take just a few minutes to make, and will be sturdy enough to allow seeds to start putting down roots before you later upgrade them to a larger pot.
This hack is a great way to recycle your toilet roll tubes because the microbes in the soil will break the cardboard down into carbon – which your seedlings will use as plant food!

Tldr: husband punched me, he was half sleeping and in a terrible mental state due to drama on his side of a family, and I don't know how do we repair things or even should we?
Let's call my husband Ben.
Yesterday Ben's uncle Robert died. Their side of a family is full of crap and drama. Everyone hate each other.
Uncle's wife Jessica hates her mother in law (Ben's grandma Lauren), she don't wanna let her to the funeral, won't tell her where her son is gonna be buried, only wants inheritance. Grandma Lauren is not an angel too, but she's kind to Ben, and he's the only person who has a relationship with her. So it was him who had to tell her that her son died and that Jessica won't let anyone to the funeral. And grandma Lauren is 85 and has cancer.
Robert and Jessica have a 14 yo son Sammy, who she only had, to sign herself in a family's property. She raised him in absolute dependency of her, won't let him hang out with us (Ben made several attempts), won't let him play outside, deprived him of a healthy childhood, and Ben's heart aches for Sammy, and there's nothing anyone can do. Now he lost his father and his life is ruined. Uncle Robert was a shitty man, but still...
So, Ben came home from grandma's and asked me to let him have a good sleep tonight. We have 2 sons, 3 years old and 7 months old, sleeping in our bedroom, their beds are at our bed's sides. Well, that was the night when they took turns in screaming. Oldest had a bad dream, I calmed him down. Then the baby had God knows what and wouldn't even latch on a boob, just high pitch scream.
And just when he showed first signs of calming down, Ben had enough of being waken up and started yelling something like "I asked one thing, please give me some sleep", etc. I understand, I do. But the baby doesn't. And I asked him to be quiet, that I almost got this, and yelling will only reset the baby's screaming, it will make things worse. Ben won't listen, and I was kinda desperate, so I pressed my hand over his mouth. It pissed him, he shaked my arm with one hand, and instantly punched it with his other hand, with a fist. And then immediately fell asleep.
I'm shaken with this. I would never imagine he could do anything like this. He apologized, but he says he doesn't remember punching me, he remembers wanting to say something that he thought was important, and that I shut him up, and that he got my hand off of him and that's it. He wasn't fully awake I guess. And I understand his feelings, but it doesn't erase mine.
my world turned upside down, I'm terrified of how easy he did it, how he didn't hesitate. So, he had it in him? I was 1000% certain that he could never hit me. Now I don't feel save. This was so unpredictable. I lost a giant part of my trust. I cried all morning. And he asks me for support after all this family crap with Sammy and grandma. And I just cry and can't shake it off.
From all I've read, abuse starts with the first punch and grows gradually, and it's always always recommended to leave the moment it happens. But given the situation? And that we have 2 little kids? And that Ben was nothing but wonderful to us so far? Is this a start or a one time thing? I'm so lost, I can't distance myself from it

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Scaredoflove11
Rebuttal by u/Roeapparently
AITA for asking my friends what flavor their wedding cake is?
Originally posted to AmItheAsshole
Thanks to u/czechtheboxes & u/USMCLee for suggesting this BoRU
Original Post May 11, 2024
I (22f) am in the wedding party of my friends we will call Em(25f) and Roe(25m) who will be getting married in about 2 months. I have been really excited for the wedding since it'll be an opportunity for all the friends from college to get together for the first time in 2 years. Not to mention Em and Roe are my best friends, or at least I thought they were.
We have a discord for all the wedding stuff and they have a channel about food. They've been really good about being open about the food they intend to have at the reception including vegan/vegitarian/gluten free options for everyone and answering questions so I didn't think there would be any contention if I asked a question.
Anyway, about 4 days ago I posted a message into the discord asking "Hey, what flavor is the cake gonna be? I wanna mentally prepare myself lol." I think looking back my choice of extra words is what caused all this, but I meant it in the sense that I have a long documented dislike of chocolate flavored foods like cake or ice cream. So I added it in the event the cake was chocolate.
I recieved a private message back that the cake would be chocolate and that if I had a problem with it then I could "shove it" cause it was their wedding not mine. And i felt really taken aback by this response.
Never did I mention that I would have been upset and I certainly wouldn't have put up a stink about it. Its exactly like Em had said, it's their wedding. I explained as much and tried to apologize for any offending I did but she got even more defensive and started basically blasting me for implying that she was offended and I was just left overall very confused.
I gave it two days before I tried to apologize again and smooth it over figuring she may have just been having a bad day but I got shut down again telling me she didn't need my apology cause nothing was wrong and I needed time stop trying to make it seem like shit was wrong between us and to just drop it.
I texted Roe to see if I could gauge what was going on since he and I have always had an open dialogue about things like this but he basically just told me he couldn't talk to me right now and I have to imagine its cause Em told him not to.
Its been 2 days since then and I'm just really confused. This whole thing has made me want to drop out of the wedding party and honestly not go at all. I wish Roe would talk to me and Em would be honest. I can't help but think maybe I just don't get how stressful planning a wedding is and like maybe theyve gotten pushback from other people on other things and somehow its being taken out on me? Or is it really a big no no to ask stuff like this? I don't know? This is the first wedding i'll have ever gone to, so am I the asshole?
VERDICT: ASSHOLE
In the comments "Roe" appears
Roe is u/Roeapparently
Here May 11, 2024
Hey Izzy. Not surprised you didn’t share the whole story. You never do. Just like last year’s surprise party for Em (tldr: Izzy here spoiled the surprise and tried to claim my present was hers).
I’m “Roe”, the groom to be. I don’t do Reddit, but my best man does and frequents this thread. He saw this post and it was so obvious it’s you. This whole cake thing did happen but it is NOT the whole story and did NOT go the way Izzy claims.
First off, cake was not her only complaint. You refused to have a joint bachelobachelorette dinner cause “I have poor taste”, you said my suit was tacky cause I wanted white and not traditional black, you whined about the bridesmaids dresses being purple cause you wanted Ivory. Any decision we’ve made there’s ALWAYS a complaint. And Em has done nothing but be patient and try and find common ground. She should not have to change her wedding choices for you.
Second, we NEVER told you to “shove it”. Em only messaged you privately because she was tired of having to argue in the group chat. Everyone else is tired of your bullshit too so we didn’t want to bother them with it. It’s a cake. Eat it or don’t.
You have hated me ever since I joined the friend group. And that’s fine! But you will NOT ruin Em’s day because of your pettiness. If you care about her, then honor her decisions. Of COURSE Em is different! Cause she grew tf up! All of us did except you! My god you’re fucking 22, stop acting like a spoiled teenager, chocolate cake will not kill you (btw asshole I’m 26 not 25, pay attention). I wasn’t angry about this until you decided to go to the internet for pity. It’s pathetic and immature.
For the record, Em double checked my response. She signed off on it. Get it together.
OOP

Its pathetic and immature to anonymously post asking for advice on Reddit but you coming here starting shit and posting my real name isn't? Okay, Marcus, since we're not hiding anymore how does it feel to have your shit aired for real? Here's how I KNOW Em didn't sign off, becuase she never would have agreed to using my real name.
You're just trying to get me upset at her too. She's my best friend, and I should have known you'd do this. You always try to manipulate us into being mad at each other. Case in point when I had planned this really awesome dinner for just her and I and you had to plan her suprise party for the same day. I just wanted alone time with my best friend but you couldn't wait one day for the party.
Em has known me far longer than you, and no offense, I'm sure I know her better than you do. But I've kept my mouth shut because I love her and just want her to be happy.
I complain about everything? Then how come I've never said anything about the hundreds of times you've made Em cancel plans with me to go hang out with you? I just wanted my bff to spend a little time with me. We're not allowed to have sleepovers anymore cause it "makes you uncomfy" or take a girls trip for the weekend because "too expensive". Sorry you can't take care of her like I can. Some of us can afford rent. Clearly this was never about the cake and more so about you hating me. I was fine when you joined the friend group, but you clearly weren't fine with mine and Ems relationship. You've been the same towards some of her other friends who I'm sure would agree.
Get a life Marcus. Stop trying to take mine.

Roeapparently

She was fine using your name. You brought this to the internet, not us. If you didn't want this attention, don't post.
The plan was for you to distract her while we setup the party by taking her to a movie, not going to the movies then taking her to dinner and TELLING HER OF THE PARTY. We waited hours expecting y'all to be back.
I have never once made Em cancel. She always did that on her own, and not frequently at all. You have had plenty of time alone with her. Just because she spends time with me too doesn't mean I'm forcing her to. And yes, a trip to multiple countries across Europe is very much too expensive. We already live paycheck to paycheck, which you know. I know money isn't a concern for you but it very much is for us. Not all of us have apartments paid for by dad.
Nobody else seems to think the same things about me, and if I'm wrong I will gladly listen and change. But that requires communication directly, not anonymous Reddit posts. You may have known her longer, but you clearly don't know Em well. You fail to see how miserable your comments and attitude have made her these past few months. For her sake, knock it off.

OOP

"Paid by daddy" real mature asshole. You know I work hard like everyone else. Its not my fault my parents made better decisions than yours and can actually help their kids. And of course I wasn't just gonna take her to the movies on her birthday a rouse or not it was still her birthday and shes my friend and I love her and wanted her to an actually decent meal other than the shitty pizza you bought for her.
Also yeah maybe you didn't tell Em to cancel, but knowingly asking for plans when we had them is basically the same thing. Before you, she was fine. She had everything she needed. And for all of you in the comments saying I have a crush or want to fuck Em, you're delusional and know nothing about me. We're best friends. I love her. She loves me. Not my fault we have natural chemistry that everyone over the internet can feel. But its not like that.
Marcus you're an asshole. You've been an asshole since day one. Just admit you're not the guy who can give her what she needs and move the fuck on and leave us alone.

~
MHH370

Hey u/Scaredoflove11 did you really make a fuss because you wanted the bridemaid's dress to be ivory instead of purple?

Also u/Roeapparently did you really make your fiance cancel sleepovers because it made you uncomfortable?

Roeapparently

No. I never made Em cancel anything. I'm fine with her having sleepovers. Izzy wanted to do it at our apartment and kept begging Em to have me sleep on the couch so I wouldn't ruin "girls night". For the record, Em shut it down not me. She's capable of making her own decisions, I trust her to set her boundaries. If I came off as uncomfortable, Izzy never mentioned it till now

ImissBagels

Does Em even still want Izzy there? Because Izzy is sounding more and more unhinged. How did she try to steal your bday present to Izzy?

Roeapparently

Em still wants Izzy there. they've been friends for years. I won't make her kick her out, but I'm starting to reach the point where I want it. And no she didn't steal it. She claimed she purchased the gift cause "i was too poor to afford it". It was a rather expensive purse Em eyed once while shopping but couldn't get at the time, so I saved for it.

FINAL COMMENT BY u/Roeapparently

You're proving my point. I'm not gonna argue over Reddit anymore over this, especially if you're gonna talk about my parents like that when you know full well why they aren't rich. Either message us in private or drop it all together. If this is how you really feel, don't bother coming to the wedding.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
**DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS

As the title says I am $26K in debt I wont specify how it got this bad all I will say is that it involved a women and family also didn't help. I need some help as to what options I have. Debts:
Chase Credit Card: $10K Min payment:$350
Credit Union Credit Card: $6K Min payment:$150
Personal Line of Credit: $10K Min payment:$200
My total monthly minimum payments are about $700. My monthly take home is about $2000. The only other required payment I haver is my car insurance which is about $400 and another $200 for miscellaneous things including food and gas. I do still live at home with my parents so rent isn't an issue.
I recently just had a bit of car issues which cost me about $2 grand. I fixed the car but it completely wiped out my emergency fund. It just feels as though I'm not making a dent in this thing and its starting to feel demoralizing. I'm axed all subscriptions save for Apple music. I've though about those debt relief programs like JG Wentworth or PDS debt but I've heard horror stories about them. I also don't know if consolidation would help. Would it benefit me to get a balance transfer card?
Any advice even if its a just keep it up or things take time would be greatly appreciated.

So i've known her for 6 months, and we've been living together for 2 months, now we are long-distance until the end of the year. Everything's good, we had some arguments about stuff we expect from each other, and what we like about each other and dislike and agree on everything. Now before we met she was living alone, and getting money from her parents but now they want her to go back home, and stopped sending her money. She was working too, but unable to earn enough to support herself alone, if she goes back home she won't be able to work/earn her own money anymore, but won't need to worry about anything else. Now because she won't be able to earn money, she asked me to send her $200 every month, so she can cover some needs that her parents think aren't necessary to buy, and save some money for herself. On one hand i want to support her, and she thinks this is a "token of trust", but on the other hand if i do that i'll feel like i am being used i know she loves me and i really love her too but for me money and love just don't mix, i don't mind spoiling her when we live together and paying for stuff etc. But not sending money in LDR.
So i told her that's my boundary, and she said "she doesn't agree, but accepts that because it's my money after all" Everything's back to normal now, but how we go from there? I kind of want to help her out a little so she can have a better life, but in case we break up in the future or something i'll be miserable.

TL;DR I made a Unity tool that lets you batch generate secondary UVs for multiple objects at once, saving you tons of time. Check it out, it's obviously free!
Hey everyone!
I often found myself spending too much time manually adjusting import settings for each mesh to generate secondary UVs. To solve this, I created the Unity Bulk UV Generator!
What does it do?

• Batch Processing: Select multiple objects in your scene and apply UV generation settings to all of them at once.
• Secondary UV Generation: Automatically configures the import settings to create secondary UVs, perfect for lightmapping and advanced texturing.
• User-Friendly Interface: It’s literally just a button.
• Time-Saving: Drastically reduces the time spent on repetitive tasks, allowing you to focus on game development.

How to Use

1. Installation: Download and import the tool (to be honest it's just one script) into your Unity project.
2. Selection: In the Unity Editor, select the objects in your scene that you want to generate secondary UVs for.

Generate UVs: Navigate to Tools -> Bulk Edit Scene Object Import Settings. Click "Enable Lightmap UVs for Selected Scene Objects," and the tool will automatically configure the import settings for the selected objects
https://ffgamedev.itch.io/unitybulkuvgenerator

We moved into this house 5.5 years ago. I'd never experienced anything 'paranormal' before. I was a hardcore sceptic. It was around 18 months later that I began to experience disturbing paranormal events I cannot explain no matter how much science I read. Note: I do not have a history of hallucinations or schizophrenia or anything, I was not smoking weed at the time nor on any other drugs. I was in my mid-twenties at the time. Help?
The first incident was on a November night at about 10:51 pm (almost all events happened between 10:51pm-2:00am but primarily between 11-1). For context, I'd spent the last hour playing Among Us and studying from a Spanish textbook. I would listen to relaxing jazz sometimes and drink some Jack Daniels (but was not drunk). I went to pee, my mind was focused on how clevefunny the games were and how I couldn't wait to get back to what I was doing. When I pulled my trousers up, a noise caught my attention. There was an Alberto Balsam shampoo bottle (about 1/3 or just under full) between the taps on the sink. It is a standard, British porcelain sink close to the toilet but to touch the bottle I would need to extend my arm, bending my elbow as I did that night was nowhere near close enough for contact. The bottle rocked far to the left, to the right, unnaturally, and repeated this motion about 5 times before it came to a standstill in its original position. It wasn't a small wobble, it was a slow, intentional rock side-to-side (the bottle should not have been able to rock so far to either side without falling over). My bathroom is tiny but I couldn't touch the bottle let alone cause it to rock the way it did. The window was closed, there was no breeze and nobody else in the room. I tried to replicate it another time by blowing hard on the bottle, flapping my arms and holding myself in the same position as when it happened but I could not touch/move the bottle. Even with generous leeway, I could not touch that bottle. In short: it wasn't me and it ruined my night. This incident terrified me.
A couple of days later, I was in the same bathroom washing my hands at about the same time at night when I experienced a sudden and intense sensation that something sinister was behind me staring at me. I looked up at the mirror and couldn't see anything behind me, but I felt something there. I was too afraid to move, I finished washing my hands after a minute or so, and when the feeling began to fade I left the bathroom. This became a regular occurrence. Particularly in the kitchen and bathroom, I felt something 'there' or that something was watching me and attempting to interact with me. The presence was somewhat imposing and dark. I couldn't see it. My partner didn't believe me when I told him about these incidents and would go to bed before me so he didn't witness them at first. I believed this presence was a 'man' and for a while thought it might've been the deceased elderly man who used to live here. He was placed in a care home aged 95 and was known as a nasty, horrible old man. The man passed away at some point, I'm not sure when but it was either during the incidents or towards the end of them.
Additionally, we had a living room carpet and as these incidents increased in frequency I began to hear something plucking at the carpet in the corner by the door. When I moved the curtain there was nothing there and the noise stopped. This is where my partner comes in because he stayed up later occasionally and he HEARD the noise. I didn't prompt him, I heard it and remained quiet until he picked up on it. I told him that was the noise I was hearing, he went to investigate and couldn't see anything. This is what made him suspicious too. We have a rabbit but checked on him, he was in his cage eating in the next room while the noises happened. Unless he could teleport, pluck the carpet before our eyes while invisible and teleport back into his cage- it wasn't him. Since then, I lifted the floor to see if anything could have plucked the carpet from beneath the floorboards. The floorboards are locked tight and it would've been impossible to touch the underside of the carpet or underlay.
This may be my mind manifesting fear, but I began to have horrible dreams about an old man with beady, shiny black eyes, a partially bald head and white hair in a forest (I recognised the layout from a forest far away in my hometown I used to ride a horse in). These dreams were disturbing and the men were not like ordinary people, I felt they were trying to toy with me before they k*lled me. One night I woke up to feel someone standing over me, another I woke up and briefly glimpsed black writing all over the wall on the landing. When I blinked it vanished. I was terrified and often felt something on the landing or in the room. I had no history of sleep paralysis before moving to this house. My partner told me he believed that whatever it was enjoyed scaring me and was feeding on my fear. I tried after this to not be afraid and to confront it, which worked to some degree.
One of the worst incidents was when I knew the 'man' was there, I felt him standing about 2 feet away from my computer chair. He liked to stand over me and sometimes breathe on me while I was gaming. I was playing World of Warcraft, I remember exactly what I was doing. I knew he was trying to get my attention and I ignored him. I forced myself to calm down. Then he moved closer and I heard a 'HUFF' as though someone breathed heavily through their mouth only inches from my ear. I took my headset off and looked round but the presence disappeared into the kitchen. I felt he wanted me to follow him, so I did. My attention was guided out of the window as though he was leading me there. I went to the window and looked out. I saw a shape out there that looked like an adult male of about 6ft wearing a grey hoodie and gloves standing near my back fence as though he'd just climbed over. Could I have been mistaken? yeah, but I tried to run from the window and ended up in freeze mode by the kitchen door. I couldn't move, I tried so hard to get away because I thought this man was going to break into my house and attack me. I don't know where the 'man' was but after about 2 minutes I made it into the living room, 2 more and I went back to check. The 'man' and the 'real man' were both gone. A strange part of me believed the 'man' chased the real figure off. I felt as though he'd tried to save me that night and I became more sympathetic to him.
There was another incident, which could be explained otherwise but my partner wasn't convinced. We had a small children's desk with two wooden chairs behind us, we stacked the chairs on the table while our daughter was upstairs. While we were on the computers, the chairs came crashing to the floor. They were not precariously stacked. The doors were open and there was a breeze but the wind should not have been capable of knocking even small wooden chairs to the floor. This happened in daylight in the late afternoon.
Over time this began to fade. I feared the man less. I often felt his presence in the kitchen standing far too close to me. One time I felt a sudden icy blow down the left side of my neck. Our house is cold and drafty so although I'm convinced it was him, it could have been something else. My nightmares began to disappear. I would hear him sometimes 'walking' upstairs, and I sensed him go into my daughter's bedroom just to look at her. He never did anything to her. My partner also experienced 'something' going on in the house on several occasions but he is still somewhat a sceptic. Eventually, everything stopped.
After the 'man' disappeared, we had issues with animal footsteps on the stairs. It sounded like a cat running up and down. The first time it happened, we couldn't see anything. The plucking noise continued. Around this time, our house rabbit for some reason jumped out of his cage and we had at least 2-3 incidents where he bolted up the stairs and went into our bedroom. He was running about and this was abnormal for him. Of course, we blamed him and locked his cage tightly so he couldn't escape, but the noises continued. My ex was woken by the noises one night and investigated them only to find the rabbit in his cage and the noises continuing.
The noises and incidents have stopped for quite some time now. The house feels at peace but that was a deeply terrifying event that actually ruined my life and made me feel unsafe in my own home at night. What could it have been?

Hi guys, this is just a throw away account.
I just want some advice on what to do or where to start.
Basically I broke up with my partner of 5 years. We have been arguing for the past month over small things. I tried all the things I could find that could help me out to understand her but it is just taking a toll on my mental health.
Today I was telling her a story about a past lover that I didn't even pay no mind and only found as a friend since it sounded similar to an anime she currently watches.
For context, this was back when I was 12 years old. She started arguing with me after a misunderstanding with a word I said while trying to tell her the story. I quickly apologized for this since I just wanted to drop the argument as quickly as possible since I just came back from a job and having dinner with her.
She insisted on having the conversation and pointed to me on how wrong I was for using an incorrect word to explain something and how it can lead to a misunderstanding. She was already shouting and insulting me ar this point asking me if I am too slow to get her point.
I pointed out to her that she was being disrespectful and the way she asks and say things to me, I find them insulting. She insisted that it was just me thinking that way and I only have myself to blame.
Every single time I ask her to reciprocate the things I did for her, I always get a response of "weren't you the one who courted me?". I think it is pretty clear why I broke up with her lol.
Anyway, I told her I am breaking up with her. I told her that she can have the bond that we paid to our landlord (I covered it), the money I lent her to buy her new car over 10k, and our joint savings account. I just didn't want the hassle of dealing with her and talking to her anymore.
We also have 2 dogs that I am really fond of that she doesn't want to surrender custody (even 1). She threatens me physical assault if I take any of them. But when I said I won't give any money to support them, she makes me feel bad about it.
Suicide is potentially not an option since I want to do more in my life but its really difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
TLDR: I broke up with my partner and now I am broke. Suggestions on where I could start over?

Hi, thanks to this community for all the great help. I have a query.
I'm on a Student Visa (from India) and my husband is on a Skilled Worker Visa. I plan to invite my mother to the UK on a visit visa to attend my graduation. I have a few questions:
1) My mother is not familiar with English. Can I fill in her visa application?
2) My mother is technically my stepmother. My biological mother's name is on all my documents as it was impossible to get them changed. I have the death certificate of my biological mother and the marriage certificate of my father and stepmother.
How do I address the discrepancies in the passport regarding my mother's name?
3) My mother has the following assets: Does this help with her application?

• £7,000 in a savings account for over a year
  
• £25,000 in fixed deposits
  
• A house in her name
  
• Her husband is back home
  
• She is not financially dependent on me
  

4) My husband will cover the cost of entry tickets and visiting London. It should not cost more than £1,000 for all of us. We will take her to visit the Highlands, London, etc. It's a two-week trip. If my husband submits his bank statement and pay slips is that okay?
Thank you so much for your help in advance.

Hello all,
I am awful at saving money. I am 34 years old. I am still sat in my student overdraft which tends to finish the month maxed out or close to it (-£2,500) and continue to have a balance on a student credit card with a shit rate (~£900 on that, ~£500 on paypal credit). I make fairly reasonable money (i.e. am paying 40% tax bracket on a not inconsiderable chunk of earnings) but I am just hopeless at saving.
It's become clear to me that I need to find a way to impose discipline on myself (for note: I have ADHD + related exec functioning issues, which does not help) and I would like to set up a notice savings account.
I started a new job recently for which I will receive my first full paycheque at the end of the month. It should be around £400 a month more than my previous role and I am going to save the entire "additional" amount in the hope that I simply don't notice the difference. I will also send over any additional unused funds or minor windfalls (grandad's £30 birthday cheques?) on an as and when basis. In 9 months time, I will be moving to decrease my monthly housing costs (hopefully ~£150-£200 per month) and will be looking to increase that monthly saving amount further after that. I have approximately £1,000 currently sat in a pot which I have just freed up by selling some used items, which I would be seeking to use as the starting balance for a notice savings account.
My goals are to, within that first 9 months, clear all outstanding personal debt, and following that, to continue saving serious money for several years to establish a rainy day fund so i'm not at risk in case of things like redundancy, and to be in a position to think about mortgages with my partner in ~4-5 years.
I am aware that the most sensible use of the money I have set aside to establish a new savings account, for most people, would be to wipe that credit card debt first. I am not most people. If I cannot simply put money somewhere I can't access it easily, I will not save. I have tried just about every other method under the sun, and I am just unfortunately a constitutionally a weak-willed person who really, really needs to do it this way. I will need to, for example, save the entire sum of my overdraft to pay it off in one go - if I try to simply chip away at it from within my personal account, I will fail.
I have two questions about notice accounts:

1. Based on research so far I am thinking about setting up this account and I would be grateful if anyone has direct experience with the provider or the account and can offer feedback - or has had a very positive experience with a different provider which I might want to account for.
2. As I outlined, my plan is to debit £400 a month out of my account on payday into the notice account. However, I am not clear, and cannot find the search terms to be sure, that notice accounts are necessarily suitable for adding amounts to monthly. Most appear to be based around earning interest on a starting balance rather than regular monthly saving. Even if they do "allow" this I am not sure how this would work in terms of interest. The wording of some accounts' information seems to implicitly imply that this might not be how they're supposed to function. Would be very grateful for advice here!
3. I recognise my personal... oddities... mean that I am pursuing a non-optional strategy. I would prefer not to receive advice on how to simply try harder and do it with willpower. However, if commenters can think of better strategies to "force" myself to be more disciplined I would be receptive. My current Plan B is for a parent to open an account for me to which I do not hold the details, for example. I have the kind of relationship with my parents and wider family which means that this would not present any risk to me. However, I have not asked previously as my parents both earn very considerably less than me, and my uselessness with money is a source of shame. Asking a parent to hold what would become over time a lifechanging sum of money for them is an option I'd prefer not to take unless necessary.

Thanks in advance for the advice and understanding.

I finished another Radiant Dawn run on the hardest difficulty and felt the bug to talk about tier listing again. Thanks for indulging me. My list:
https://i.imgur.com/8d4aPNg.png
Some commentary, from worst to best.
F Tier:
Lyre - This character has literally nothing going for her. Lyre has terrible bases, the worst class in the game, bad growths, and no endgame potential beyond being a mediocre filler unit. I can't imagine a worse character in Fire Emblem. Maybe Sophia. Even if you wanted to do an all-Laguz run, she can't crack the top 10. She isn't even force deployed on any maps. I cannot think of a single positive thing to say about Lyre.
Fiona - With even worse bases than Lyre and a baffling availability schedule, Fiona should be the worst unit in the game, but at least her class is solid. Female Silver Knight has bad caps overall, but good weapon types, speed, and a top-tier mastery talent. If you can endure the grind, you can make a unit with real contributions in the endgame. I feel like the game designers hate this unit, though; they make her arrive in a map themed around rescuing, but don't even let you recruit her to do any rescuing. The very next map is indoors. After that, we go to a swamp which is once again themed around rescuing, but Fiona isn't even available! After that? Another indoor map! Then another swamp! Then more cliffs! 3-13 is considered an indoor map and penalizes horse units! Literally the first map with wide open spaces to take advantage of cavalry classes that allows you to deploy Fiona is in Part 4. Her class level and bases are even bugged (allegedly). I can't believe how this game is engineered to ruin Fiona, and it's a miracle that she isn't the worst unit in the entire game.
Kyza - While he can be crafted into a tolerable lategame unit (better than many on this list who rank higher), there just isn't any reason to do so. He's got a terrible class (only cat laguz are worse), bad bases, and joins in a big pile of units that are a hundred times better at everything he can do. Need a tank? You've already got Brom and Gatrie on the team, and they don't untransform halfway through enemy phase. Kyza has the crown for most forgettable, pointless unit, but at least if you do train him for the experience, you get a unit that can kind of do something late game.
Makalov - Easily the worst of all cav units, any chance Makalov has to be good late game is betrayed by his poor class caps. He nearly escaped F tier by having a few useful turns in Part 2, but after some consideration, I honestly think he's more of a liability than helpful. The only units he can reliably hurt in Geoffrey's Charge are the ones that give you bexp if you spare them. I don't even like putting out fires with him; let the yellow units do it, so they don't run off and get themselves killed. Makalov is just a trainwreck of a character. At least he gets Sol.
Pelleas - As a secret character with a completely unique weapon type, you'd think unlocking him gets you access to some outstanding lategame growth unit with a big payoff for all your hard work. Nope. You get the worst mage in the game instead. While I give him a glimmer of usefulness for the potential to learn staves, you have to invest heavily in him to get there and it's just pointless when even Tormod can do the same thing for cheaper. I can't imagine a run where I'm relying on Pelleas as my 12th string healer for the tower. If you haven't really looked into the numbers, and you decide one day "I'm doing a Pelleas run!" you're going to find his bases shocking. What were they thinking here?
D Tier:
Sephiran - Kind of an easter egg at the end of the game, I considered not rating him at all (like the Burger King), but eh, he contributes something against Ashera I guess. Can't say much more here. Maybe, in an ironman, if you've lost all your non-Micaiah staffbots, you'll be glad when he joins? For barely squeezing out a microniche he escapes F tier.
Sanaki - Maybe I'm underrating her, but I just don't see the point. She needs heavy investment (particularly in seraph robes) to be able to survive the bosses of the tower. When she joins, she's just another subpar mage who doesn't even have the decency to learn staves. Her one saving grace is that she doesn't count against your 10 tower selections, so if you slap a paragon on her and get her battle ready, she can bless Meteor or something and make some contributions. The resources (including combat xp) you pour into her are better used on your real tower units.
Astrid - I considered dumping her in F tier. What the heck happened to the star paragon unit of Path of Radiance? Somehow, she's turned into a turd of a growth unit with atrocious bases, mediocre growths, and wacky availability. I only pulled her out of the gutter because of her class, and even with really awful strength and defense caps, she can turn into a solid tower unit. I've used her before and found she was legitimately not a waste of space as early as 4-1, where she was popping falco knights. I could see her be a good bird sniper in the Izuka map. Still, like all bad growth units, she's just not worth the effort.
Kurthnaga - While he can be fun to train, again, why? He provides the least useful of all dragon auras and just takes XP from your many units who still need it. Maybe make a Kurth juggernaut once for the experience, and then never again. If he joined at the start of Part 4, I can imagine him getting boosted a couple tiers, but nah, you can't be picking up new projects this late in the game.
Meg - Often times called the worst unit in the game, she is...somewhat underrated... as a midgame tank. A project unit for sure, and not worth it, but Meg does grow into a strong unit around 1-E and for all of Part 3. She can solo Ragnell Ike and the field of laguz in 3-13 pretty easily. You've got better options for that, but I do recommend experiencing a Meg run once just to see that it can be done. Ultimately, though, Meg can't escape D tier because her awful class caps betray her in the end, and her best attribute (speed) gets cut off at the knees.
Vika - The Tormod Squad all suffer from the availability curse, but Vika has it worst, since she desperately needs training to be viable at all. As if laguz weren't bad enough already, they can't take Discipline or upgrade weapons by any means other than the long, dark strike rank grind, and Vika has no time at all to do it. That leaves only her joining maps to recommend her, and she can do things like poke-canto or rescue villagers in the swamp, so that's something. If you force yourself to train her, she does gain incredible speed, but hitting twice for 0 isn't impressive. Her class also has cat-like gauge drain, and she can't gain any experience in part 1 due to bizarre laguz xp math, leaving Vika no angles to improve.
Stefan - Thrown in at the end like an afterthought, Stefan is (I would argue) the worst of all the Tower Gotohs, that is, the units that just join at the very end to make sure you have high level units for the tower. With bad luck and a fairly bad class, the only reason I can recommend bringing Stefan is if you want an Alondite unit and you don't like Renning for some reason. He just doesn't serve any purpose. He even joins in a map that locks down his movement. Take his sword and bench him.
Ena/Gareth - I put them together because they fill the same role: buffing your units to fight Ashera. While Gareth is legendary for getting wrecked by magic, Ena is arguably worse, as Ashera's physical attack can kill her too. While that's not nothing, I can't justify taking someone out of D tier when their entire purpose is to help a faster clear in one map, and you don't even really need them.
C tier:
Tauroneo - I had a hard time rating Big T. He pops in to dominate just a couple of chapters before disappearing until part 4. He's the worst Marshall, but gets boosted a tier over Meg because of his efforts in part 1. Marshall is a pretty bad class, but if you want one anyway, you've got two much better options that have tons of availability, so don't bother.
Heather - In a game that doesn't care much about thiefy stuff, Heather just doesn't have a key role to fill. She gets you a couple of stat boosters, which you can promptly feed to your units that cap everything anyway. I'll give her a leg up out of the worst tiers because she can rescue you in Oliver's Mansion if you ran out of chest keys, and the Fortify Staff is really, really good.
Muarim - Unlike Vika, he dominates his few part 1 maps, and he's still viable in Part 4 with his bases. Not bad! Unfortunately, with so little time to train him, you really have to invest heavily to get him tower-ready, and why bother? He's got an awful class and competes with much better units. I suppose he gets a slot in an all-laguz run.
Tormod - He kills that obnoxious wyvern rider on the swamp map. I give him a whole tier for that, because man, that thing is annoying. Beyond that, he's helpful for several part 1 maps, and he can be trained up to use staves for the tower.
Leonardo - The worst member of a great class, Leonardo will absolutely wreck with Double Bow, but the road to get there is harrowing. Only his prf bow's speed boost gets him out of D tier. Maybe even F. He's just such a liability for so long that I can't recommend him.
Ilyana - Strange that in a game where availability is so restricted, the number one most available character is so bad! She was great in PoR, too, but thunder magic has been substantially nerfed. I give her a lot of credit for her join map, which is arguably the hardest map in the game, and if you really work hard to level her, she gets staves with an excellent magic score. As with most units this far down, though, she's just outclassed by all the better options who do the same thing, and you don't need that many backup staff units.
Ranulf - Force deployed for what feels like a dozen chapters, Ranulf mostly hangs around to shove people and occasionally do some damage. He's got the worst class in the game, but unlike Lyre, has great bases that give him a nice little midgame role and then not much else. If you manage to feed him experience in Part 4, he's somewhat endgame viable, as long as you don't have much competition for the laguz gem.
Nealuchi - Like Ranulf, the old bird has a bright spot in the middle of the game where he's got some utility, but is best ditched when his time is up. I find him essential for 2-P and 2-1, a good contributor for 2-E, and then...well, that's a C tier unit.
Kieran - Bummer that he's so reduced here versus PoR, but at least his class gets better caps than most cavs, and he's viable as Geoffrey's sidekick for those odd chapters in Part 2/3. I can't hate him. He's easy to train and turns into a viable, if underwhelming, tower unit, but joining Ike's crew so late in Part 3 hurts him, as he is immediately outclassed by like two dozen people that you've been training for ages.
Lucia - She gets a big boost for being essential for 2-1 and viable in Part 4. If I was going to train a bad trueblade, I'm picking her over Stefan at least, but her lack of availability and bad class push her to the middle tiers.
Renning - An unfairly hated tower gotoh, Renning is your best freebie Alondite user, and has tolerable enough bases to hang out and contribute with your actual good units. He's just mediocre compared to anyone you've actually built up yourself, and he's clearly worse than Giffca and the royals. Many people do their ironmans with all royals banned for the challenge, and if that's you, Renning suddenly becomes a valuable backup unit that I would maybe bump another tier. As-is, he's just mid.
Volke - Ditto what I said for Renning, except he uses the Baselard instead, doubles auras without help, and can instakill people. I usually take Stillness off and give it to Micaiah, though, so his durability is a problem. Volke is like a super-trueblade and worth considering if you are low on viable tower units.
Giffca/Mufasa - The lion king and his shadow are virtually the same unit, except that Giffca has to use a laguz gem to transform for some reason (Guess he was borrowing his boss's formshift scroll last game?). I usually refuse to use them on principle, but I can't count that against them. They absolutely wreck the Tower but serve no other purpose. As the best of the Tower Gotohs, I can't justify higher than C.
Nasir - The best of the dragon auras, Nasir enables some aura one-rounding strategies that make a big difference. Still, we're talking about one dang map. When I made this I struggled with whether or not he should be down with Gareth and Ena, but I'm giving him a lot of credit for his special aura and his invincibility versus magic.
Sigrun/Tanith - The lesser two of the three Seraph Knights, they have one of the best classes in the game, but mediocre bases and growths. There's only one Wishblade, unfortunately, and while Seraph Knight is the best class to use it, that just means there's no reason to bring multiple of them unless you want to goof off with triangle attack. If Marcia turned out poor or you didn't use her, I recommend grabbing Sigrun (higher base level) for the Wishblade and training her up in Part 4. If you aren't training these units, they still get credit for flying utility in the desert.
Ulki/Janaff - Can't decide which of the twins are better here. With insane bases and no xp gain at all, these guys show up in part 3 to help shove people and generally help out when someone is in trouble. While they stay viable to the end (to the delight of the zero percent growth community), I don't get too excited by their lategame contributions. The laguz gauge is their Achilles Heel in part 3; I just can't justify relying on them.
Bastian/Oliver - My hottest take of this tier list, I have argued for a long time that Oliver is underrated as your Renault/Yoder character; that is, your staffbot gotoh who fills in to rescue ironmans. Bastian serves the same role, but slightly better. If your Micaiah is bad or untrained and you haven't leveled any of the project mages, these guys are your strongest staff users.
Devdan - Just as forgettable here as in Path of Radiance, Devdan suffers from bad bases and availability, and as the worst member of a meh class, there's just no reason to invest in him. I give him a lot of credit for major contributions in two key chapters without being a liability, and if you do train him, his superior caps make him arguably better than Kieran in lategame. Oh, and in part 3, he can climb that one ledge to keep it open. That's...something.
Calill - Helping out on a couple more midgame maps than Devdan, Calill is never good, but she can chip a bit here or there and usually isn't a liability. Anyone who can do anything in Elincia's Gambit gets a push in my book. If you do wind up making good use of her and slap on a crown, she's another backup staff unit with okay stats.
Lethe/Murderkaiser - The cat and tiger duo once again shows up midgame with good stats, bad growths, and a spot waiting for them on the bench. I find that they make a great contribution in part 2, remain viable in part 3, and...well, they exist in part 4 I guess. Mordecai can be built into a viable tank thanks to having vastly more time to grow compared to Muarim, and better everything compared to Kyza. Lethe has dramatically better strength than her idiot sister. Too bad the bad classes keep them out of the good tiers.
B tier:
Edward - We're getting out of the riffraff and into some viable units. While Edward is one of the weaker Dawn Brigade growth options, he is super helpful in numerous key early chapters where you desperately need it, and he can grow into a complete powerhouse. Just watch his growths as he naturally levels throughout part 1, and if he fails to pop off, bench him. If he crushes those strength and defense growths, though, he's an excellent choice for a Part 3 carry, as he's on the shortlist of units who can solo 3-13 - not the best one, but much easier to level than Meg, for example. His luck sword is I guess the worst of the DB prf weapons, but it's still decent for a long time, before you toss it for Alondite. If he didn't fall off in late part 1, he'd be A tier. Also, he's got a bad class and competes with at least one or two better units for that precious Alondite.
Soren - With magic nerfed in this game, Soren has no chance of breaking into the highest tiers, but he sure tries. I'd argue he is the best mage in the game. He's not too difficult to train, hits high magic numbers, and turns into the game's best staffbot (arguably) by endgame. While I'd rather bring a free Bastian than a high effort Soren to the tower, Ike's BFF gets a big boost from his super high availability. I never feel like he's a drag on the party.
Rhys - Like Soren, but you don't need to wait for staves, alright, Rhys probably snatches the prize of lategame staffbot from Soren, but not by much. He's hurt by awful physicals, which can make him seem like a liability, but your list of part 3 staff units is sparse, so he's going to contribute a lot every run, no matter what you have planned for him.
Mist - She's much weaker than Rhys in every way, but when she promotes, she gets Canto, which is wonderful for a frail unit. While Florete is bugged (or sucks by design, depending on who you ask) and there is no Sonic Sword, Mist is still viable as a mobile healer who won't let you down through the entire game. I know I keep saying different people are the "best lategame staffbot" but I swear this is the last one, it's really Mist.
Zihark/Volug - I paired them for nearly identical availability and the legendary earth/earth affinity, which gives them a niche in certain difficult part 3 maps where their contributions are invaluable. Neither character scales well into endgame (there are better options for trueblade) and they aren't invincible like Big T, but at least they show up for work. Use them as Jeigans in part 1 and tanks in part 3, then say goodbye.
Micaiah - Often called the worst lord in the game, she...probably deserves it. Oh no, I'm about to call her the actual best staffbot, aren't I? No, she's difficult to raise up due to being such a frail liability all game and having forced promotions. She gets big credit for a couple key Thani nukes early game, and she's a force deployed physics bot from 3-13 onward. Have I overrated her? Maybe, but I like healers.
Geoffrey - With a couple chapters designed to make him look good, Geoffrey is essential to clear the game, but his class caps keep him from getting into the elite levels. I find that he levels quickly in part 4 (without paragon, even) and holds his own. I really wish he joined with Kieran and the others. By endgame, he's a viable filler unit.
Nolan - A godsend in the early chapters, the Dawn Brigade would have died in the cradle without Nolan. He gets an amazing prf weapon and is easily viable as a part 3 carry, but I find him inadequate to solo 3-13 or reliably fight Ike. His strength and defense growth is just too poor, and he lacks the avoid to make up for it. Still, he has the best beorc class caps in the game, and after being reliable and useful for so long, you can reward him with careful bexp abuse to make sure he can slam the tower bosses with 62 attack power. There's something satisfying about seeing a human inflict lion-like damage to gods.
Laura - I always see her at the bottom of tier lists, but your only healer in part 1 (Micaiah doesn't count) deserves some love. She's a huge liability on the field, but think about how much harder Part 1 gets if she dies. She stays viable in part 3 (I usually savior backpack her with somebody) and is, yes, another top tier lategame staffbot. For being an essential unit for so long, and for having endgame potential, I can't see lower than B tier.
Simba - The lion prince needs paragon and some effort to get rolling, but boy does he! As an acceptable alternative to those cheating royal laguz, Skrimir is just an unstoppable powerhouse who can solo entire maps in part 4 if you let him. Until the white dragons show up, Skrimir is never in danger from anything other than his own stupid laguz gauge, which is why he's not in A tier. If you haven't tried slapping paragon and adept on Skrimir and letting him eat all of 4-P, try it once, it's hilarious.
Royal Trio - I put Nailah ahead of the bird brains for her availability, but they all have the same role: hold your hand through part 4. Tibarn can actually die to the crossbow guy in 4-2, which makes me laugh, and Naesala is downright mortal by comparison. I like to leave Pass on Nailah from part 1 and give her chest keys for Oliver's Mansion. All of these units are insanely strong and help trivialize the tower, which is why I don't bring them.
Singing Siblings - I know, putting Rafiel lower on the list than the others is blasphemy, but he's barely around through the whole game. He's widely accepted as the best tower bird (though I prefer Reyson), but other than Oliver's Mansion, what hard missions does he help out on? Rafiels' role is to help fight dragons and gods, which is a pretty good resume, so he's up this high. Leanne wins my heart for Elincia's Gambit alone, but she also helps make the bridge and desert maps more tolerable.
Marcia - A hot take here, but Marcia has a lot of availability and a positive, if underwhelming, contribution through most of it. By lategame, she turns into an excellent flier (Seraph Knights are truly amazing) and is, in my opinion, the single best Wishblade candidate in the entire game. Marcia never crushes this game like she does Path of Radiance, but I'm here for her.
Boyd - Notoriously tough to get rolling, Boyd has those insane Reaver caps and a lot of time to reach them. While he's just a project unit in part 3, he does crest that hill eventually and turn into a complete wrecking ball who trivializes the rest of the game. He easily hits 40 strength and isn't that tough to train up to 35 speed with bexp. He's the game's best Urvan user (as his caps are easier to hit than Nolan) and I only don't put him higher because it's a bit of a struggle to get him going.
A tier:
Rolf - People are going to lose their minds over this one. I'm always astonished how many people don't know that Rolf has 75% strength growth! Snipers are easy to level and have a great payoff, meaning that even if Shinon wins your double bow, you'll never regret bringing a second killer deadeye through the whole game. Imagine if Leonardo had Rolf's growths. Little bro is like Dmitri, but in the Wii era. Don't sleep on Rolf. He's amazing.
Nephenee - Sometimes overrated, sometimes underrated, Nephenee has top notch availability and is an essential unit for several chapters, and while she can get lost in the Greil Mercs spam, she quickly turns into a stellar well-rounded infantry unit who can carry the game. She's never bad and turns into another excellent Wishblade user, who I only put below Marcia for the tower due to lack of flying/canto. Due to high availability and never needing particular training attention, though, Nephenee skirts into the top tiers.
Mia - Unlike Path of Radiance, Mia starts viable and quickly takes off like a rocket, turning into your best Trueblade. Lacking only one strength in her final caps versus Edward, she's easier to level and, imo, your best overall Alondite unit. Because she is around so long and always helpful, she gets a bump.
Brom/Gatrie - Brom almost gets the nod for being an essential unit for so Part 2, but his falloff is noticeable, and his endgame potential as a Marshall is worse than, say, Nephenee. Gatrie picks up that slack and remains as one of your best Greil Mercs for the rest of the game. I could see someone valuing Brom's early contributions more and swapping this order. Both units suffer from the usual Marshall problems: bad caps, bad movement, competing with far better units for the best items.
Titania - The stalwart ride-or-die arch-paladin of Tellius, Titania doesn't carry hard like she does in the previous game, but she's immediately dominant and stays that way virtually forever. She has reasonable class caps (compared to other cavs, anyway) and is fine to bring to the tower, but you will notice a dropoff. Regardless of tower viability, she's so damn strong for so long that I can't rank her any lower.
Oscar - While he starts weak and is imprisoned by truly awful tier 2 caps, Oscar is still solid and provides that lovely earth affinity through a ton of chapters. Once he breaks into tier 3, he's immediately one of your best units, and stays that way for a long time. I almost rated Titania higher, but I think Oscar surpasses her and is a candidate for an early crown. If not for those tier 2 caps, he'd be S tier.
Shinon - Embarrassed by the "9 strength incident" in Path of Radiance, Shinon hit the gym and turned into a powerhouse from the moment he joins until the end of the game. He's never not great, and he only gets better as he gets his outstanding third tier caps and SS rank weapon. While he usually needs bexp to hit str and def caps, that's more a function of the highish caps than any weaknesses in growths. Shinon is almost breaking into S tier. If he was a flying archer, he'd be the next Haar.
Aran - The wrongest opinion in all of Fire Emblem is that Aran is bad. Just wrong, wrong, wrong. Aran starts as a weak unit among numerous other weak units, is easily trainable, and quickly pops off - 75% strength growth, again! - to turn into a juggernaut that surpasses everyone except the royals. By Part 3, Aran has made the rest of the Dawn Brigade redundant, and by 3-13, he's a walking god. I always laugh when I hear commentators talk about how difficult part 3 is, then minutes later, mention how bad Aran is. Well, of course it's hard if you don't use the best unit! I only keep Aran out of S tier because of DB availability and because his class caps keep him from stomping as hard in the tower, where he rarely doubles.
S tier:
Jill - Flying utility gives her the bump into the upper echelons. Slightly harder to train than Aran, she benefits immensely from the str and def items (which are useless to Aran, who caps immediately) and turns into another juggernaut. While she stays weaker than Aran throughout most of the game, the mobility is a factor, and she grows into one of your best endgame units. If you had to average the two games together, Jill is probably the best character in Tellius. Or Titania, it's hard to say, but it's definitely a canto redhead.
Sothe - Play this game: a trickster god deletes one character from your rom, permanently. Seize squares and game over conditions get reassigned, but you now have to play the rest of the game without that unit, forever. What's the absolute worst unit to lose? I cannot think of a worse unit to lose than Sothe. Is the Dawn Brigade even possible without him? I'm sure someone has done it. After making the game playable, Sothe falls off hard, but he can be trained into a sub-par Volke if you want. I contend that Tellius literally could not be saved without him. So why isn't he the absolute top tier? Well, I guess I'm weighing the rest of the game higher, but I'm not 100% convinced that's right.
Elincia - What a glow-up from PoR! The devs nerf her in 2-P to keep it difficult, but as soon as she gets her weapon, she turns into a flying healer who also wrecks things. I think she's a lock for the tower, even if you are dedicating six tower slots to royals and lions. While a weaker staffbot than some others I mentioned, she's good enough. And she flies! Elincia is just awesome.
Reyson - Speedrunners and LTCers prefer Rafiel for a better Turn 1 against Ashera, but I like Reyson's high movement and canto, and you have laguz gems by that point. As for the rest of the game, Reyson has by far the best availability of all herons - which isn't saying much, I know. I just wish this game wasn't so weird with dancers.
Ike vs Haar for the championship - People have debated between Ike and Haar since the game came out. I put Ike 2nd because, while he carries harder with Ragnell, he's still a normal (albeit stronk) infantry swordlocked unit for a long time before then. Haar saves your bacon in Part 2 (twice) and then carries Part 3 just for fun afterwards. He also has the best boss convos in 2-P and 4-E-2. Ike gets the boss convo award in 4-P, so this most critical of category tips the scales toward Haar. The real answer is availability + domination = top of the top tier. As if Haar wasn't stupid OP enough, he gets the best beorc defense cap in the entire game, because why not? He even beats out the Marshalls on Strength! And his mastery skill is better! Honestly, what were they thinking here? While Ragnell Ike is the strongest unit in the game, Totality Ike is only the second strongest.

If you're going for the OP achievement, make sure Siffrin is already level 99 by the time the rest of your party members reach the max level. I don't know exactly what causes it, likely a combination of factors, but I ended up stuck with everyone at max level without the achievement, and would have had to grind up everyone but Siffrin from level 45 again had I not found a workaround.
I got everyone but Siffrin to level 75 on the first floor during Act 4 because I wanted to save them at max level at every save point, and so I did. Now any time I loop to any save point, they're all at level 75. I then fought against the King over and over until Siffrin reached level 99. I have a suspicion that the weird way that the King gives EXP had to do with me not getting the achievement after my next battle where Siffrin hit level 99, which would mean this could probably happen when losing to the King or to a normal sadness as well, with very specific amounts of EXP left to gain.
This meant that anywhere I looped to, everyone was max level, unless I looped back to Dormont, where everyone but Siffrin was level 45, and I would have to start over on all of them. I tried winning against a sadness, running from a sadness, and beating a floor boss for floor 1 and 2, and none of those awarded the achievement, nor did they after loading my save, restarting the game, or restarting Steam.
I ended up finding my save file and uploading it to an online converter for .rpgsave files that was able to turn it into a .txt, and then searching the file for the word "level" to find where it stored Mirabelle's level. I reduced it to 74, converted it back to a .rpgsave file, and put it in the folder, and it worked just fine. She was level 74, and while it had the slightly glitchy effect of showing that she needed a negative amount of experience in order to level up to 75, beating a sadness set her to level 75, and gave me the achievement. If you get stuck in a similar situation, that's how you can fix it.

I don't even know where to start, feel like time is just passing by and I'm just flowing with it recently, I just waste away my time and don't accomplish much.
I'm 27M, graduated with hospitality management and really messed up in college. No internships, no networking, and no real management or supervisory experience at any jobs. Ngl, I don't like hospitality lol it's such a whack ass industry, I don't mind interacting with people and have become much more social than I used to be, but still, the whole industry as a whole is bullshit.
I've worked at a few restaurants, quick service and gas stations lol, best job I ever got was 50k/year as a busser in a steakhouse.
Granted, I've had to deal with immigration obstacles if I wanted to stay in the US and it's been tough to imagine a future, in a place where you are expected to leave. I get it, but got married recently and I guess that will atleast take care of the immigration issue when I get that done, which ofc isn't the easiest in the world but I have a genuine and strong case.
Meanwhile I wait to apply for my work permit and everything, I've decided to still work, whatever I can do, until I can atleast get some sort of job legally which can fit in my life.
Currently I do some food delivery whenever I can, not making much atm, but when ubedoordash wasn't bad, I was aiming for atleast 100-150/day or minimum 2k/month but it's been super slow recently in my area.
I also work on my family business with my mom, she's been running a women's clothing boutique for over 20 years now, it slowed down when she moved here to help me out and pay for my college (which I fucked up lol) and recently we've been picking up steam with US sales since covid died down. We do clothing, jewlery, leather shoes, men's apparel, accessories and whatever else we think will move.
Sadly, we have almost no online sales and not the greatest social media presence and I'm trying to fix that, but I just feel like I never do enough or stay consistent with the posts. We had some issues which stopped us from being organized and having storage nearby for our inventory but that's been solved by moving to a bigger place.
I still need to get a business license, and implement some legit organization/inventory systems in place, so we can manage everything better, but we've had some Cash flow issues. Also run 2 households and pay employee wages back in India, as we make most of our own clothing, or buy wholesale for the styles we cannot make cheaper, so money's been a little tight.
We mostly do events, which require a lot of driving and end up costing us a lot in Van rental/gas/hotels almost every weekend, which is something we have to do, as moving closer to the events would mean our cost of living would go up quite a lot, it would also increase sales, but it's a risky move right now, and buying a home in CA is no joke lol.
We stay busy Friday morning till Monday morning usually, which leads me to almost never have time enough for a stable job other than flexible gas station shifts or ubeddash atm.
So after giving some context on how my life is going, I just don't know what kind of careejobs I could actually do ?
Hospitality seems out of the question unless we end up saving enough to get a store of some kind which we can run and still do the events on the side and slowly build repeat clientele in all the cities we visit.
Idk what kind of job will let me come in to work late or have a flexible schedule while still keep me employed 🤣, even if it's only for 1-2 days of the week. Or just take a whole week off a few times a year, which I need to do for some of the busy weeks or bigger events.
I know my self employed experience wouldn't get me too far in getting decent job, and I would need to end up choosing between the events and a job, but I just feel like shit all the time.
I've gained a lot of weight, feel like engaging in destructive food habits like eating innout 4 times a week because it's easy, I like to cook but still just take the easy route a lot, especially a few days after coming back from driving 16-18 hours over the weekend and having to stay up for more than 24 hours straight.
Don't really drink or do any drugs, been struggling with quitting vaping and getting rid of the nic demon, but it hasn't been easy. Up until last year, I also used to use a LOT of thc, chronic daily use but finally got around to cutting that out and felt much better and more present in life.
Money's always been tight, even with multiple incomes to support the household bills and whatnot, my husband does help with bills more recently and that's made it a little easier but still been tough.
Having a shit ton of inventory on hand, managing rapid changes in customer needs has been a challenge too, even after we got better at it. I just feel so lazy and aimless in life, I do love doing the events (only when we make $ lol) but goddammit it's tough on my body and with no cannabis use, only so many coffees/energy drinks can keep someone going for 24 hours+.
Idk why I've been writing down so much stuff, sorry if yall actually read all of this but fuck me dude, what do I even do in life ??