Happy birthday wishes for the deceased

It is what it is. It was kinda absurd how I came to my parents home on Tuesday, cause my beloved dog lives there and my aunt was there, noone was expecting her. She always scans me, she is extremely toxic and draining person to be around.
I forced myself to come down and "chat a little" out of obligation, I should not have done that. To this day, she thinks Im unemployed, as the rest of my extended "family" thinks too and she would ask in a very controling tone: "How are you doing?" , well, what is one supposed to answer to this automatic question? So I replied "fine" and she went on: "Well, who could be more fine than you right?" (You have a fairytale life)...Then my mom was talking about some gardening work she was doing, and the aunt said "You should make her help you!". I felt like a shit, erased and humiliated.
The thing is, she automatically assumes, that I dont do anything, that I never work. Plot twist. I am the one, who does the lawn moving every week, I do usually do the works, she insisted my mom should ask me to do, I am the chores lover in the house, I am the one who will paint the fence just because I want to, I buy groceries and bring them by walk to our house. She saw me riding electric scooter, so she assumes Im lazy to walk, I am very dynamic person in general. And the list of assumptions goes on and on.
My entire family does this, they never asked, not even once, where do I work, strangers ask that, they never do. So they know nothing, they have no updates on my life for years. My dad is considered to be high status person, everyone thinks we are rich, so they think, that my occupation is being daughter. They can´t be further from the truth, my dad is a scrooge, he is the "me,me,me" person, my money, my house etc. His job, his status, his life is something that has nothing to do with us, he lives it in the big city and comes "home" to our little town on weekends, it´s almost like he lives a double life. We dont know anything about his job, my mom does not know where he lives whole week.
He does not know me at all, he never supported my life decisions, he has different values and views on everything, I have always been my own person, he never understood me, always mocked me for being different (you are antisocial, abnormal etc) and yeah, we are basically like strangers. My mom does not work, and she needs money from him, but he gives her too little, so you know...the situation we live in vs what people think is two completely different universes.
My extended family never perceived me as a real person I guess, as someone, who actually lives and exists, they see me as an npc character with some name, but not as real person. Im 31, but grandpa will wish me happy birthday, give me money and tell me to buy some ice cream, this aunt, that I mentioned would always bully me, she would observe if I eat, constantly projects onto me, that Im on a diet (Im not), cause she has trouble with her weight, so she compares herself to me, she is like 70, Im 31.
Another aunt and my cousins, they have always created conspiracies about my family, they too think we all never work and just have holiday all the time. Their kids - my cousins all live at home and they are between ages 20-40. My brother is still at home too. So you know, it feels absurd, that this inept caricature, that they see in me, moved out, pays her rent with her money, that she has earned in her job, that she found by herself by sending CV.
I know, that if they knew this, this narrative would follow: They would be convinced, that my dad pays for it, that I dont have real job, or if I do, then he must have help me get it. My own landlord thinks this! This was the real bad luck, she pushes this narrative onto me, because as soon as they found out whose daughter I am, she and her family, who know him, made their mind immediately. They even asked me, when I was signing the contract, if we had an argument and parted on wrong terms with my family, they could not understand, how come I am about to be paying rent, cause they too assumed, that in "such families" parents buy apartments to their kids and then they kinda started another narrative, that this is all about me trying it in "real world" and trying to be on my own, but since I dont really have to, it´s just a funny attempt. And that is how Im being looked at.
This is beyond insane! It´s all lies, assumptions and total dehumanization of me as a person. The fact, that I managed to get apartment and pay rent is a huge deal for me, that I myself provided for me with nobody´s help but mine, and I am forced to do a performance in front of them all and pretend, that nothing has changed, so they can see that inept thing in me forever, so they will not taint my success with gossip, lies and conspiracies. I should cut them off, and I did those that I could, some I avoid at all cost, as that toxic aunt, but sometimes I cant avoid them, and they still are connected to me through my immediate family, that I cannot cut off as I have no balls for it.
Can anyone relate?

I just wanted to say right off the bat that this post is NOT intended to dissuade anyone from getting a reduction. Having this surgery done can be life changing and I’ve seen firsthand how happy it’s made the people who’ve had one.
But I still feel the need to share my experience, especially those who are pre-op. This has ended up being a novel, but I wish I’d known about a story like this before my surgery. Please, don’t make the same mistakes that I did.
At 16 I started to spill out of my DD bras. Each year after that, it kept getting harder and harder to find bras, harder to feel confident wearing anything but baggy t shirts, harder to exercise even with a full support sports bra, harder to just live a goddamn normal life. At 20 I’d had enough and booked a consultation with a surgeon, not really caring who it was that would do it as long as I could get this extra weight off as soon as possible. And it was just after my 21st birthday that I went under the knife.
I was so happy to finally be able to shop at regular stores for bralettes and not have to worry about them not making my size, I couldn’t wait to finally feel confident wearing something that doesn’t hide my chest, and to finally have my back and neck pain subside. So happy that I wasn’t too worried about the results I’d get. I had expressed clearly and adamantly that I wanted as much off as possible, and why shouldn’t I trust a literal doctor to do his job? I was so blinded that no alarm bells went off in my head when he said: “Don’t worry, you’ll be proportionate.”
After the initial fog of anesthesia and pain wore off, it was at around 2 weeks post op that I started to worry. I was assured it was swelling, that it was so early and I couldn’t possibly tell what my results would look like. That made me feel better, until my follow up appointment where the surgeon told me only 400g was removed from each breast. I tried to keep up hope that I’d eventually shrink down, but after weeks and then months with no sign of them getting smaller I started to realize that I’d been fucked over.
I’m now 9 months post op. My starting size was around a 32J, and now, I’m at a 32G, at the very smallest. I have a follow up appointment scheduled with my surgeon to ask for a revision.
I’m beyond livid. At the surgeon, but also at myself for being so naive. This is what can happen when women don’t know they need to advocate for themselves and make sure their voice is heard.
To everyone pre op, fight tooth and nail.
Raise hell. Get EVERYTHING in writing. Do your research. Get a second opinion. Explain what you want, and then explain it again. Make sure there are measures in place so that they can’t sneak around and do whatever they think will look best, because they will. Even if you think you’ve done enough to make sure you’ll be listened to, do more. I thought I did enough, but I didn’t.
Don’t let what happened to me happen to you.

After my previous toxic relationship with a covert narcicist, I spent a year without dating to heal myself and reassess my close relationships. I realized how precious it was to have a healthy person in my life, who can be loyal and love me genuinely.
I met him on Christmas night last year. It was his last night in my city, and I just thought that we would have some nice chats, but it turned out to be one of the best nights in my life ever. He was a medical doctor at entrance level. I was impressed by his honesty, authenticity, intelligence and dominance. We talked about various topics that night and didn’t even worry about time until the restaurant staff reminded us. We spent the night together and had an earth shattering love making. He was all I ever wished for.
We continued to talk after he returned to city. There was so much affection and chemistry between us. He liked me for who I am, validated my feelings and never used me. He had healed me on so many levels without knowing it. I thought he had secure attachment style. But soon, it became more difficult, the uncertainty of the relationship, the difference in communication style, work stress (his job is super draining), the helplessness when we couldn’t be with each other… One day he left me waiting for his video call while he fell asleep. I felt like I wasn’t care for and respected so I told him I needed some days, and when I texted back, he said that he couldn’t stand this and wanted to stop. I told him that his feelings for me and my feelings for him did matter and wished him a good life.
I tried to cope with the sadness and depression of not having him. I had some trips, met new people, but I couldn’t forget him and the feelings I had for him was very intense and I didn't want to have relationship with anyone else. However, I accepted what it was and I didn’t reach out to him at all. I genuinely wished him find a good life partner.
I was surprised when he reached out to me almost 2 months later, and I turned him down as I wanted to have a committed relationship instead of a casual thing. After one week I realized it was too difficult for me to be without him, and texted him back. I told him that we need to have life compatibility and close the distance in order to maintain a relationship. He said that it was difficult but he thought possible. I just needed that sentence from him. The text next days full of affection and he texted me more regularly than last time, I also learnt to focus on my life and stay calm between texts. We mostly had surface checking in message so I was happy when he shared with me his challenge at work for the first time. We were more open to each other after that, but shortly after that he stopped texting me back and went silent for 3 days, even he agreed with me that he would send me a heads up if he needed time instead of just disappearing. I didn’t reach out to him and waited. Then he came back with a casual “Hi babe how are you” and 2 hours later, a breaking up text and blocked me. He said that he didn’t see a future between us and his career just got in the way of knowing me. He believed that I wanted to find someone to settle down permanently soon and he didn’t want to waste my valuable valuable time, he said he was very sorry.
I am heartbroken. I knew he needed both companionship and sex, he had strong feelings to me too but this is too difficult for him. While I was grounded and committed, he was spontaneous and had fear of commitment.
I can wait for him but I see that this long distance relationship is challenging. And I long for being adored and loved by someone next to me, being able to text anytime I want without having to fear of putting stress on them. But for him, I love him for who he is and he inspired me a lot. I don’t want to lose someone like him. Should I keep the door open for him if he ever comes back?
TLDR: I met a decent man once last year we had an on off long distance relationship. He had ended it twice suddenly. Should I keep the door open if he ever comes back?

Im so lonely, I have no family or friends. I feel numb and empty. I can’t put into words how pathetic and useless I feel but I’ve made the decision to take my life in this forest tonight. I have been depressed for a very long time and I’m just not getting better. I’ve tried waiting for things to improve but I’ve come to realise and accept that the few good times will never outweigh the constant bad times. I’m in debt, I’m homeless and I’m just a broken man. I have nothing else to say and to be honest I doubt anyone will see this but I wish you all the best. I’m actually happy because I’ve finally accepted this is the best thing for me and I’m not even scared of death anymore, In fact i welcome it now. In about 30 minutes I will have ended my life. I feel bad for the person who will find me tomorrow and I’ve made a note that explains that it was my choice and im sorry they had to find me like this. This is a very selfish act but for once im going to do what’s best for me.

Every time we're in an argument, I love you. Every time you explain to me what's wrong, I always try to understand you. But every time I try to explain, it would always end up being, my fault.
But you know, every time we're in an argument, I understand more and more about you. But for what I did to you, I'm a disappointment.
Sorry. I'm sorry baby for the way I did. I'm sorry for being a disappointment to you. Every time I would explain, again, it will always end up being my fault.
It's hard. My heart hurts like hell. Like a blanket being twisted around. But I always try to endure, To endure so that I could be happy with you again.
I'm sorry baby. Your boyfriend is a disappointment. I'm trying my best to understand you. But for me, I don't even understand myself anymore.
Don't try and hide all your problems with me. I swear I'm understanding you more. But then again, When I try to explain. It will always end up being my fault.
I love you, you know that. I love you till the day I die But evert time we're in an argument, It will end up being my fault.
I'm sorry baby. Your baby is so sorry. You don't deserve such a disappointment of a boyfriend. It's my fault. It's always my fault.
I'm sorry. Every time I say sorry, You would not notice till now, But behind that message, Is a man who is crying and asking for your forgiveness. For he, I myself, do not wish to hurt you any further.
It's my fault, It truly is. For just a small misunderstanding between us, It would end up big for the way I did. I'm sorry. It's my fault as always.

I will be returning to Croatia in a few weeks and I will have half a day free from my schedule to do some sightseeing. I will be based at Cerovačke pećine outside Gračac on the borders of Zadar and Lika-Senj counties.
Apart from visiting St. Donatus and St. Anastasia in Zadar town, I would be interested in visiting churches with medieval wall paintings, preferably displaying text written in the glagolitic alphabet. I understand this may be a bit tough given the small window of use of the script, but I understand that I am probably going to be in the right part of the country for this wish.
Alternativeley if there is nothing on the route between Zadar and Gračac, I would be very happy to receive recommendations for such churches anywhere on the route between Gračac and Zagreb, as long as it will be a detour of only 30-40 minutes from the highway.
I know my specifications are potentially restrictive. I have tried to google myself some suggestions, but the subject is a little too eclectic, it seems. So, here I am on Reddit...

Im a 15 year old girl who's been wearing a hijab since i was 7. I actually voluntarily wore it since my sister, friends,mom and basically every female I knew and looked up to wore it. I didn't even know WHY I wore it. Now that im 15 I want to take it off but im scared my mom won't let me. I haven said anything to her yet but she's all like: "you're 15 now, you have to start dressing more modestly and stop wearing pants" the clothes I wear are hoodies and big large "poofy" pants which don't even show off my body. I don't wear tight clothes since they make me uncomfortable.
Recently we moved to a new place in a new country which means all my old muslim friends wouldn't be able to know that I took it off and I don't need to fear losing any friends. But now my mom Is pushing me to meet all these other Somali girls and I'd trying to persuade me into wearing long boring black dresses under the guise of that "they're more modest then your regular clothes" and "all the other Somali girls will also be wearing these!"
I dont wanna make new hijabi friends since im scared they'll talk about me behind my back since that's what happened at my old school when someone took it off. I used to know a Pakistani girl who took hers off and whenever I saw her i admired her for being more brave then me. If she's not ok with me wearing pants I can't imagine how she'll act when I try to take it off.
I hate this dumb double standard where if you're a convert who's not ready for a hijab yet or a girl who just never wore one then everyone's okay with that. But god forbid You've been wearing one since you were 8 like me and decide you don't wanna wear one now??? Like maybe I'll be more okay with it when im 20 something but now I don't want to and have been feeling like this for 3 years.
My mom is the kindest person I know but my god she's do strict when it comes to religion it's like she becomes possessed. Ive overhead my older sister tell her she didn't wanna wear one a few years back and my mom Being the smooth talker she is managed to persuade her to keep Wearing it.
Whenever I think of myself in my future im not wearing a hijab, and all of this makes me resent it and back away from it.
Why can't my mom be like my friends mom? I have a friend or HAD a friend who was from the same country as Me and she told me that her mom tolf her "if you don't wanna wear your hijab tell me then, I'll love you no matter what" and the girl choose to wear hijab and was happy wearing it. I wish my mom gave me that option too.
Thanks for listening, I didn't proofread so there are probably alot of spelling errors.

I’m turning 30 tomorrow and this is the first birthday where my family are basically strangers to me. My mom, I expected. We don’t speak anymore. My stepdad followed shortly after. But I was surprised about my siblings. My brother visited our hometown last weekend and he only told me the day he got here. Didn’t try to make plans or anything, didn’t wish me a happy Mother’s Day (it was my first one). If he told me he was coming home sooner I would’ve tried to make a plan. Last time he visited it was the same, I was the last to know and I scrambled to make a plan for the whole family, just to find out everyone already knew he was visiting and made plans without me.
I’m most surprised by my sister. I have her over at my house nearly weekly for play dates (kids are the same age), I host her family for dinners and bbq’s, I gave her all of my son’s hand me downs because she’s pregnant with her first boy. I bring her gift baskets with homemade food when she’s sick and when she had her first baby. I guess I never realized none of it was reciprocated because I felt like as long as she’s agreeing to the plans I don’t care who initiates. But looking back, I feel so foolish.
My birthday is tomorrow and I expect very little. Just for her to ask me to get coffee or something. Instead, she cancelled our plans for today and mailed me a generic birthday card with one sentence in it saying happy birthday.

As Michael exited the cabin, he let out a huge yawn as he looked out over the view. Making his way down the stairs, he was followed by his German shepherd, who followed close behind. He’d yet to introduce Zeus to AJ, Amon, or Jane, but he was going to guess they would love the dog.
Despite still having nightmares, he was happy to have a dog who never left his side. It was good to have him watching his back, considering the nightmares he always had. Almost every night, he would wake up with his face covered in sweat. He kept the nightmares mostly hidden from his siblings out of fear of worrying them about him. Whenever he woke up, he could count on his dog to bring him back to reality.
Without Zeus, he’d feel lost, and without a purpose, he still felt lost, but unlike before, he had a purpose, which was to live and enjoy life. Before he put himself down, he saw himself as a monster unworthy of being human. Amon’s speech had pulled him out of his mental torture; even if he never said it out loud, he was thankful for his brother.
As he approached the beach, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a ball. Tossing it a few feet away, Zeus chased after the ball, his dog ran faster than a lightning bolt. He couldn’t help but smirk as the German shepherd returned with the ball and dropped it at his feet. “Good boy.” He started to scratch his dog behind the ears.
As he kneeled down to pet the dog, he was licked in the face by the dog. The son of Apollo laughed as he continued to pet his dog for a few more minutes. If this moment could last forever, he would make it so.
Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out two photos. The first photo was of him, Cody, and the rest of his friends in a selfie-type photo from when he was in Dallas; the other was a photo of Michael and a girl with blond hair and green eyes. The two were posing for a selfie in the photo. He faintly smiled. “I wish that I could tell you how I was feeling.” The son of Apollo whispered.

Disclaimer: Please excuse any awkward English it’s not my first language. I will be summarizing my experience in a 7 month LDR.
We met on a dating app last fall and we instantly clicked. He lived in a city 3 hours from mine and was just there to visit his siblings. On his last day in my city he asked for us to be exclusive and to try doing LDR. I was very hesitant on this because he has a demanding schedule (med student) so I thought it would be difficult to maintain one. But he reassured me it could work out and I really liked him so I gave it a shot.
3 months in and the relationship was perfect. He came to visit me every 2 weeks and we would spend the weekend together. He would take me on a shopping spree and we would eat at all these lovely restaurants. It honestly felt like we weren’t in an LDR.
Once we reached 4 months (end of the honeymoon phase haha) I started to notice some things that began to bother me:

1. his communication drastically began to decline. We use to talk on the phone for hours once a week while also texting throughout the days but then it just became exclusively texting and no more calls. When I confronted him about this he told me it was because his schedule changed and school became more demanding. He warned me about this before we became exclusive but I had became so attached to him and use to our old routine it was hard on me to adjust.
2. He forgot to wish me a happy birthday. I had reminded him 2 weeks prior and he had said he had it saved on his calendar. He doesn’t care for birthdays but I communicated with him that I cared and would appreciate the acknowledgement no gifts or anything like that just a message. He apologized 2 days later and told me he had an exam that same week so he wasn’t on his phone at the time.

This is when I began to realize he isn’t able to prioritize me and med school at the same time anymore. I assumed he had lost interest and when we met up afterwards he began to look more and more stressed / worn out.

1. 5 months in is when I began to identify the bread crumbing. Bread crumbing means he began to show inconsistent interest in me aka emotional abuse. He was taking longer and longer to respond to my texts. I noticed he was also more active on Snapchat while he left me waiting on delivered. I was being ignored and it honestly hurt. I never confronted him on this because I didn’t want to look crazy for essentially monitoring his snap score lol please do not do that it’s not healthy.
2. Whenever he did respond to my texts they would be lengthy and of course med school was always the reason for the delays. I do believe it’s a valid reason but at the same time it’s an easy excuse to get away with not having to answer me.
3. 6 months in I mentally began to mourn the loss of the relationship before the break up officially happened. We talked about our future together and moving in together so it was a very hard time for me. I didn’t want to be with anyone else but him but I felt like I was the only one that cared enough to keep trying to make the relationship last and work.
4. During month 6 I became more distant. I use to reply almost instantly to his texts so when he noticed the change he began to increase his efforts in communicating with me (aka more bread crumbing).

Note: I did communicate with him twice on my expectations when it came to our communication and the relationship as a whole. I felt like I was very vocal on my needs and he simply refused to meet them despite saying he will try multiple times.

1. With bread crumbing you do not know where you stand in the relationship and that was my current issue. Month 7, I asked him if I could come to his city for a day and speak with him face to face. I wanted to end the relationship in person out of respect. He told me he would let me know when he was free. I gave him a timeline and I told him I must see him by the end of the month or this wouldn’t work out. I didn’t want to drag it out anymore than necessary.

Well, he never told me when he was free in time so I took that as a sign that he was unwilling to try to rebuild our relationship and texted him that it would not work out and thanked him for the memories we shared.
I will say he did show signs of depression but was in denial about having any mental issues. I do believe med school started taking a toll on him because a lot of the hobbies he loved to do he stopped doing them and he began to lose weight. He didn’t seem like he cared about much of anything anymore including me of course.
I wanted to share my story to let people know if you ever feel unsure about your relationship please trust your gut. I was in denial about it for a long time despite the signs being right in front of me. Your time is precious and the worst thing you could do is waste it on someone who doesn’t give you the bare minimum. Thanks for reading and good luck to you all.

Joining the Private Office of a v busy DG next week as APS (SEO) - eeeek. I have no previous PO experience so very keen for any advice from people who’ve worked in similar environments. Particularly any tips for personal organisation, work prioritisation, relationship building, managing upwards, dealing with seniors, navigating work/life balance, resilience etc - anything you’ve got and anything you wish you’d known going into intense PO roles!
Many thanks in advance - and happy Friday!!

The Demon and the Puppeteer is about a boy, who after losing family in a brutal civil war, learns through embracing his family's art of puppetmaking, how to grieve for the ones he lost. However a Demon lurks in the shadows, and offers the young boy a chance to bring everyone he lost back to life, and in return the boy must make for him a puppet body that would allow him to attatch himself to the mortal plane. it's USD$2.99 on amazon
https://www.amazon.com/Demon-Puppeteer-Foster-Deming-ebook/dp/B0D485MZJT/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3H0DJ4ZPEIJAZ&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.XCIPNOKCSjmbpFOi0i7pWBGx0yQqU0INCLpOafcWId-0GfDADyeZ4tTlhh5YFQQk2HwtRNiq9T6xqgylw-7G0Q.Bf0lEapMMCaSlzAB8T0lDcnyRj6eP22DHZiVBdL3h3k&dib_tag=se&keywords=The+Demon+and+The+puppeteer&qid=1715943766&sprefix=the+demon+and+the+puppetee%2Caps%2C163&sr=8-1
Furthermore I would like to add that if anyone wishes to review it, I would be happy to give yall a free copy. please chat me up for any questions, ideas, or really anything.

This is an update to my last post on here: https://www.reddit.com/asktransgendes/r2cOMBBEHz
So to get into it... yall were right. it's completely intentional lmfao.
my boyfriend and i had a long very emotional talk about how he should stand up for me more and that i was very disappointed that he would just let me be treated like this by his family. So with that talk he finally decided to have a talk with his father about the constant misgendering of me and how he won't just put up with it anymore.
it was a pretty heated argument, his dad cannot STAND accountability and will do and say anything to get out of it so this was very much trying to talk to a wall. after like 10 minutes of back and forth his father shouted out "I will not change my views for you, FUCK YOU!" in my BFs face. (very mature..) BF fell completely silent and in a genuine moment of pure hatred told him "You are not and will never be my father. you are dead to me. never speak to me again." and that basically was the end of it.
so yeah.. he's finally admitted it! woohoo🎉! at least now i don't have to doubt that anymore. he has been acting horrible to me no matter what age i was (hes been doing this to a 14 year old btw, hes always be awful. he only now admits it when im 18), no matter how nice i was to him, no matter what gifts i got him. he has hated me from the start. he hates me for existing.
that was basically their last conversation. over the last week FIL kept trying to talk to BF as if nothing happened and bf responded here and there at first. but couldn't stand it anymore. he told his father "i will not pretend like nothing happened. i do not want to talk to you or have any relationship with you anymore." and all his father had to say was.. "are you SURE about that..?" in the most snarky sounding way imaginable. as if BF was in the wrong, not him.
i have sent his father one final text that basically told him everything I've thought of him for years now. i will copy the text i have sent below:
"the fact that you're so proudly and openly bigoted disgusts me. your illiterate ass probably won't be able to read past the third sentence. i have tried nothing but be nice to you, and you have openly admitted that you no matter what i (or sean) try, i will NEVER be accepted by you. i have tried so hard to be understanding of you and tried to get on your good side, but i have had ENOUGH. you are an immature, lazy LEECH. that does nothing but make everyone around him miserable. i have tried so hard to see the best in you and give you the benefit of the doubt but the fact that you can openly say to sean "I will not change my views for you, fuck you" is absolutely INSANE. i hope you're fucking happy. you are dead to sean, and you are dead to me. i will never speak to you again, and don't you dare ever put my name in your filthy mouth either. never EVER speak of me again. pretend i am fucking dead for all i care. I can't even imagine the bullshit natalie had to endure from you. You have a queer son and a transgender daughter, and yet you still choose to be a hillbilly conservative daft cunt. Everyone around you fucking hates you, you are nothing but a freeloader pissbaby that leeches off his ex wife. You are pathetic and insane. i am more of a man than your cuck ass ever will be, you pathetic slob. kindly go fuck yourself, good day."
he has yet to respond in any way, but then again that's just like him.
his mother is desperately trying to defend FIL (they are not together btw. they live in the same house but are broken up for years now. IDK why she still defends him like her life depends on it) and saying that BF should be "nicer to FIL" and "Maybe hes trying to talk to you because he doesn't like the situation!!" (if he didn't like it he shouldn't have started it...) and BF has told her off too. she basically deflected it all with "i get your side... i understand your point..." blah blah blah. IDK if she also does it intentionally but it's starting to feel like it since she's so adamant on defending her ex husband. for now i am assuming they are the same way (sadly) but yeah, basically this has burnt down BFs whole relationship with his dad. he has hated him for so long but this was the final straw i guess.
not as happy of an update as i would've liked, but an update nonetheless. i wish i could tell you why he does this or what his reasoning is but we've got nothing.
TLDR: FIL admitted to misgendering me on purpose, he is now dead to BF, and MIL is desperately trying to defend FIL

It's been 2 months since my baby passed. You know what I miss the most? I miss talking to him. I miss having full fledged conversations with him. It's not like he would respond or anything even when he was alive, but the lack of response now is more heartbreaking than ever before.
My partner and I are planning on getting married soon. We were supposed to be one big happy family. My partner, his dog, my dog and me. But now it's just me. My partner doesn't want another dog for at least another 5-10 years. Idk if I can do that. I had so many hopes and dreams built around the 4 of us traveling the world together, living our best life. I used to get extremely excited when I see any dog, Now it takes me effort to even look at another dog with love. I'm numb. It takes effort to feel anything when I see a dog.
I have mad anxiety. Whenever I was out, I used to worry about him. Now that I have nothing back home to worry about, I am worry about anything and everything. My anxiety and adhd have gotten worse since he died.
I don't know man. Nothing is the same anymore. He was with me only for 2 years. Yet, he has had an impact on my life that feels like it'll last a lifetime.
I just want to scream to the world that I miss him so much. But I can feel the people around me losing their patience with me constantly talking about him. I know it isn't going to get easier. I just wish I could skip to the part where it doesn't hurt so much.

I always had a curiosity towards astronomy and physics. Man I wish, I had parents who had the same interests as me.
Parents who could’ve encouraged me in the right direction, parents who knew what I really felt like when I had those interests.
I don’t have a family that understands any of those things. I never was encouraged to do arts and was ridiculed for being good in the humanities.
My parents only cared about me doing good in stem. Because I was born to a working class family that always encouraged me to work towards a rich, well paying job. Those efforts aren’t misguided. But as a young kid I have a desire for more. A desire to understand things more. I don’t know what it is. Money, status and fame doesn’t make me happy anymore.
I tried to force myself to like science. I wanted to be an artists at a young age. But again it was met with ridicule. All my friends were doing medicine. Wanted to be doctors, because it was a well paying and respected job. So that’s what I had to do.
I gave up drawing at a young age. Ever since then I grew to hate it. And I didn’t have any motivation to pick up a pencil again.
I forced myself to like biology. Thought it was cool to learn about human biology. Thought it was meaningful. Seeing how important medicine was, saving people’s lives, making an impact in curing people of there illnesses, helping them getting them out of their own suffering, i wanted to do it.
So I worked hard in school to achieve. I lost my attention in every science class. It was boring. Ironically humanities was more interesting to me. Despite my hate for it, I still gained an interest enough to pursue it.
I soon enough realised that I had to work harder than my peers do as well as them in the sciences. I went to a good school, and a lot of my friends were more smarter than me who were doing science. A lot of them also wanted to do medicine.
I liked them enough that I wanted to be part of their group. Belong to those groups, feel like I have an identity. I always believed I had an identity that I was going to be a scientist and do research. I guess I wanted to feel smart.
I hated most of my science classes. Physics was more interesting to me than chemistry and biology. And biology which I hated the most. But I still went with biology and chemistry, because in accordance to my aptitude it felt like a more safer bet. Fast forward to covid, my GCSE grades were not that great. I regretted every time I slacked off in class and didn’t work hard enough. These grades were nowhere good enough for any medical school to look at my application. So after years, I finally gave up being a doctor.
I still picked science subjects because I had no idea what else I’d be doing. And here I am doing a bio science bachelors course that is soo tedious that is killing me from the inside.
I picked this. So it is my fault. But somewhere I felt like when I see my friends doing medicine and engineering, I feel like a disappointment in comparison. My parents always tell their friend that I’m doing something medical related to probably save embarrassment. And I feel too incompetent in comparison.
In hindsight, I could understand not to go through the risk of picking art as a career, but I wish I was more educated about my options in things I was good at.
I tried to again pick up drawing, but I felt that it was soo pointless. I’m recently being getting into calligraphy and maybe want to start scrapbooking.
My parents were always religious so I always felt out of touch with them. Their beliefs and ideas about how to live life, I always never agreed with. They also hold a lot of traditional values. I’m someone who is not a believe in God, a lot of my belief and values are quite different. So even talking to my parents is just a chore for me.
I have been very lazy throughout my life, because I always believed that I was incapable of achieving anything, after quitting medicine. It started after my GCSE years. Or during them. I gave up all dreams I had.
But I also gained new ones. I took a liking to physics more, and understanding the origin of the universe was always been a hot topic between atheists and theists. Still I didn’t really ever thought I could do it. My grades were quite low in it.
Now, I have lost my dreams and any goals. I don’t what I should live my life for.

He came back. My ex and I had broken up for almost 3 months. It was a very devastating heartbreak for me because he left me at one of my lowest point in life. I was seeking therapy for PTSD sa past job where I had to file an immediate resignation. I wasn't okay that time I was suffering mentally and he didn't even know that. He was my only support system at that time. I got to admit I had my faults why we broke up. I was isolating myself to the point that all i did was sleep. I think he got fed up since I wasn't really getting better and I think I was dragging him with me. So he broke up with me, telling me that his body is rejecting me. It was so devastating for me honestly but I can't force someone to stay with me if he doesn't want to be part of my life. So we broke up. A week or 2 after the breakup he started dating again while I was there suffering alone but I can't help it, I was still in love with him. I was crying for weeks since every major problem in my life was happening all at the same time. I was constantly bed rotting and crying while he was enjoying the company of different girls. However, I was still into him. After 3 months, I was slowly picking myself up. I had to go through it alone. I had some suitors but I wasn't really entrertaining them since I know I wasn't over my ex. Everyday, I was wishing for him to comeback because I am willing to drop everyone just for him . I was always missing him, I was always relapsing because of him. Although, I wasn't expecting anything from him. I always think na I was too forgettable for him. However, one unexpected evening he suddenly sent a dm telling me he missed me. I was happy at first and I ended up taking him back. I was wishing him to comeback right? However rn I don't know anymore. I still have feelings for him but I have this slight resentment towards him. I think he changed during the no contact period. I thought I was gonna be okay because he came back. But whenever I look at him I still keep picturing him with the girls he's been with. (just like the t.swift song lol). I don't even know if I could look at him the same anymore, I think he deeply wounded me.

pregnant & alone
I don’t know why I’m posting in here. I just feel as if I’ve reached rock bottom.
I’ve (F, 24) been a “situationship” with J (M, 29) for two years now. We met on a dating app and have been sleeping together since. Since the beginning he has made it clear he didn’t want to be in a relationship with me, but as time went on we spent more and more nights together and agreed we wouldn’t sleep with other people.
It changed from just sex- to spending three to four nights together starting in September of last year. We’d cook together, watch movies, and sleep together. We had a routine and spent more nights together than not.
Last year, we gave the relationship thing a go- he’d told me he had wanted to be with me one other time but had changed his mind a week later, so I was tentative to say the least. I met his family and I was so happy he finally was seeing me. He ended it two months later, but nothing really changed between us. We kept on spending just as much time together.
Ive tried to get out of the situation, I honestly have. But I love him and I felt like anything was better than nothing. I think I secretly felt like maybe he loved me too but wouldn’t admit it to himself. It is pathetic tbh and I know this.
Flash forward to March- he knocked me up. I took a plan B- it didn’t work. I didn’t find out for a while and when I did I told him. He told me I should get an abortion and that all I’ve been is a place holder. He told me he was gonna end things as soon as he found a woman that he “actually likes.”
I left for a couple weeks- while I was gone he seemed to have a slight change of heart. He asked me to move into his spare room in his place to help me while I’m pregnant and with the baby.
When I came back we decided to see each other.. we did our usual thing, I read my book and he did his puzzle. I decided to head up to bed and when I did I saw an opened condom wrapper on the floor. I went downstairs and confronted him and he told me that three days after I told him I was pregnant he picked up a girl at a bar and took her home
I wasn’t shocked but I was heart broken. I spent all night crying. I have his baby in my belly. We’ve been “together” for almost two years and he chooses to go out and fuck some girl right when he finds out. The most pathetic thing about it is I stayed the night after I found out. I stayed in his bed and in the morning I saw her hair on my pillow and I felt like I was going to throw up. I don’t know how to move forward. I don’t know how to handle this pregnancy. I know most people here are going to tell me to abort but I ’ve seen the baby on the ultrasound kicking its little legs already and I won’t end this pregnancy. I love them already.
He already has another baby who will be two years old this Summer. He’s done this before, but with her it was a one night stand. He doesn’t want to be with either of us.
I just feel so inadequate. I don’t feel lovable. I wonder if I’m not pretty enough or what I’m lacking. I know I need to grow in self love. I know I need to detach. Rationally I know these things but I don’t know how to- if I did I wouldn’t be pregnant. I wish I respected myself enough to walk away but I feel stuck. I just want to be loved and supported and it hurts so badly. My dating life is over, I’m going to be a full time mom- I’ll have custody. My body will change. My everything will change, and he just gets to do what he wants, go to bars, fuck women … whatever. Without repercussion.
I want to point out that I gave him the option to not be involved in the babies life since he doesn’t want to be and he’s insistent that he will be present. I want to be a good mom but since that night I can hardly get out bed. I don’t know how to coparent with someone like this. The situation just keeps playing over in my head and I feel physically sick and I don’t know how to get out of this hole and over him. I should hate him but I don’t.
Advice wise- hit me with the best you got. How do I get over this? How do I detatch? How do I deal with the fact that I have to coparent with a man who is fucking other women while I’m pregnant? I’m heartbroken.

I doubt many of yall will see this, but if you do, don't scroll down.
The Demon and the Puppeteer is about a boy, who after losing family in a brutal civil war, learns through embracing his family's art of puppetmaking, how to grieve for the ones he lost. However a Demon lurks in the shadows, and offers the young boy a chance to bring everyone he lost back to life, and in return the boy must make for him a puppet body that would allow him to attatch himself to the mortal plane. it's USD$2.99 on amazon
https://www.amazon.com/Demon-Puppeteer-Foster-Deming-ebook/dp/B0D485MZJT/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3H0DJ4ZPEIJAZ&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.XCIPNOKCSjmbpFOi0i7pWBGx0yQqU0INCLpOafcWId-0GfDADyeZ4tTlhh5YFQQk2HwtRNiq9T6xqgylw-7G0Q.Bf0lEapMMCaSlzAB8T0lDcnyRj6eP22DHZiVBdL3h3k&dib_tag=se&keywords=The+Demon+and+The+puppeteer&qid=1715943766&sprefix=the+demon+and+the+puppetee%2Caps%2C163&sr=8-1
Furthermore I would like to add that if anyone wishes to review it, I would be happy to give yall a free copy. please chat me up for any questions, ideas, or really anything.
To any other writers, stop caring what other people think, and go with the flow, take all the criticism you can get, but don't let hate or doubt seep into your being.

I doubt many of yall will see this, but if you do, don't scroll down. The Demon and the Puppeteer is about a boy, who after losing family in a brutal civil war, learns through embracing his family's art of puppetmaking, how to grieve for the ones he lost. However a Demon lurks in the shadows, and offers the young boy a chance to bring everyone he lost back to life, and in return the boy must make for him a puppet body that would allow him to attatch himself to the mortal plane. it's USD$2.99 on amazon
https://www.amazon.com/Demon-Puppeteer-Foster-Deming-ebook/dp/B0D485MZJT/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3H0DJ4ZPEIJAZ&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.XCIPNOKCSjmbpFOi0i7pWBGx0yQqU0INCLpOafcWId-0GfDADyeZ4tTlhh5YFQQk2HwtRNiq9T6xqgylw-7G0Q.Bf0lEapMMCaSlzAB8T0lDcnyRj6eP22DHZiVBdL3h3k&dib_tag=se&keywords=The+Demon+and+The+puppeteer&qid=1715943766&sprefix=the+demon+and+the+puppetee%2Caps%2C163&sr=8-1
Furthermore I would like to add that if anyone wishes to review it, I would be happy to give yall a free copy. please chat me up for any questions, ideas, or really anything.
To any other writers, stop caring what other people think, and go with the flow, take all the criticism you can get, but don't let hate or doubt seep into your being.