How to turn a guy on over text

First of all, I’m really sorry this post is so long, though I’d like to make sure everything is covered. I’m sorry that it’s probably not really exciting, but the issue has been causing me a massive amount of hurt, so any replies and advice would be immensely appreciated. I’ll try to give as much detail as I can. Obviously, you are only hearing this from my side, but I have been as honest as possible about the following, otherwise I don’t think any advice I receive would be helpful. This is written anonymously as well, so it’s not like the people involved are going to find-out. Nevertheless, none of the names I use in this are their real ones, just in case. If you have any questions or need further details on any part of this, please let me know.
I was good friends with a work colleague, I’ll call her Robin. We were (and still are) pastoral support staff in a large sixth form college. We’re part of quite a big team and each look after a caseload of students. Being about the same age, me and this colleague naturally spent time together on breaks at work, which usually involved going out for walks or just chatting in our office, which we shared with three other members of staff, all older women. I got on well with everyone in the team, but just wasn’t as close friends with them. Me and Robin chatted a lot and joked both in person and by messages on Whatsapp. I felt comfortable sharing lots of personal things with her, such as my poor mental health and at points I was worried I’d scare her off with how much I had said, but it never did. She opened up a bit about her own mental health as well, though now I realise to nowhere near the same extent. Looking back, she was not as comfortable sharing personal details as she was with her other friends. I’m not sure why I didn’t notice this at the time, was I too self-centred, or just subconsciously focusing only on the things she did tell me?
When Robin was struggling or upset, I always made an effort to go and help or comfort her. At one time she wrote on our office’s group Whatsapp chat that she had gone to our college’s wellbeing room as she was really upset. I immediately dropped what I was doing and headed over to sit with her. Of course, I checked if she wanted me there, but she was happy that she had some company. It’s easy for me to say this as I’m writing now, but at this point I had no actual romantic feelings for her, she was just a mate. She referred to me in messages as ‘mate’ a few times, so it was clear she wasn’t interested in anything other than friendship, which was absolutely fair enough.
This went on for most of the year and at the start of the next academic year, we were in different offices. Our workplace moves the team round every year for various reasons including to get us to build better working relationships with other members of the team. My new office had two people besides myself, one an older woman and the other a new colleague, who I’ll call Sam, also about my age, who had moved departments in the college and was just starting out in our role. She had been placed in my office so that we could support her in getting used to the job.
Robin and Sam already knew each other as before Robin started the pastoral role, she worked in Sam’s department. Robin warned me to “watch my back” with Sam. Robin was never specific with what happened, just that Sam had been a bully towards her. As Robin was my friend, I took her word for it.
A while later, I was called into my manager’s office and asked if Sam was always working on what she should have been. I told her that as far as I knew she was, though I never really looked too much at what she was working on as I was busy with my own stuff. I knew that in fact, Sam was working when she could on her assignments for the part-time degree she was completing. I didn’t want to throw her under the bus for this, though. We all have times where we aren’t completely focused on our work when we should be. Robin told me afterwards it was her who had reported Sam for doing her degree work. She apologised for not giving me a heads-up before I was called into the meeting with my manager.
Sam had a discussion with one of the assistant principals where she was told off. As Robin was my mate, I promised her that I wouldn’t tell Sam or anyone else at all that she had made the report. This was tricky as our other colleagues were commenting things like “who would do that to a colleague? We’re supposed to be a team”. Robin even told me at one point afterwards that she felt like a “bitch” for doing it. I told her then that she did the right thing and that I understood her frustration at another team member not working when she worked so hard herself. Looking back, this was an awful thing for me to do and I feel really bad about it.
After a while of working in the office with Sam, I got to know her. She wasn’t anything like Robin had told me. In fact, she was an absolutely lovely person, kind, funny and although she had a reputation for being the loud, chatty and boisterous one in the group, this was a bit of a façade and she actually had some real confidence issues, as well as some mental health issues, though she never said exactly what. I slowly began to regret taking Robin’s word about Sam and for not judging her by my own experiences. Me and Sam became quite close friends. I feel it’s important to note that Sam was married and was not at all my type for a romantic partner, but we became good friends. Perhaps surprisingly, Robin and Sam became very close friends at the same time. I felt comfortable sharing some quite personal things with Sam, including some issues I was having with my mental health.
As I was single, Sam made it her mission to get me a girlfriend, which I was a bit reluctant towards at first and not convinced anything would actually succeed. Sam was very interested in gossip and good at getting secrets out of people, so she eventually found out that I had developed feelings for Robin. My feelings had appeared at some point early in the academic year that I moved into the office with Sam. I knew that me and Robin would never work. Though we were good friends, we were too different. I was perfectly happy being just mates, but the feelings were still there. Very much a heart versus head situation.
Me and a few colleagues went on a night out to a few bars and a nightclub. We all got drunk and at one point in the evening I took Robin aside and told her that I liked her. I know it’s easy to blame the alcohol but I don’t think I would have said it otherwise. I knew we would never work, so what was the point in risking damaging our friendship? I didn’t remember her reaction at the time due to the alcohol.
The next day, I really regretted my decision to tell her this. For the next few days, I was really awkward around her. I tried to subtly ask if she remembered me saying anything to her that night, but she said she didn’t. I also tried asking another one of our work friends, Bethany, as well as Sam, both of whom were on the night out. I was good friends with Bethany and had been open to her about my feelings for Robin. Sam said that Robin really couldn’t remember much, as she was so drunk at the time. Bethany, however, said that Robin had told her that she thought I had “told me he liked me”, but that she wasn’t certain due to being drunk and having a patchy memory of the evening. During this conversation with Bethany, she advised I come clean as it was the right thing to do. I agreed and the same evening I wrote a message saying that I had said those things and that although I didn’t expect anything to happen as a result, I would understand if she wanted to distance from me. Robin replied after about half an hour, which I can tell you felt like an eternity.
The response was lovely, thanking me for my honesty and saying that she would never want to distance from me. “First of all, there is absolutely nothing to be sorry for. You didn’t upset me or offend me in any way. I honestly couldn’t remember if something was actually said or not. Secondly, I know that you’re such a kind and genuine person that I would never think you’re friends with me because you were simply trying to get into a relationship with me. I value you so much. This doesn’t make me annoyed in anyway at all. You haven’t damaged our friendship at all”. I replied “Thank you for that. You are really too kind-hearted for your own good”. She replied with “No need to say thank you. Thank you for telling me the truth and being honest. I really appreciate it. I would never want to distance from you”.
This made me feel much better. A few days later at the weekend we had arranged to go out as a group with colleagues. Me and another colleague, Carl, were the only two guys going and he ended up dropping out last minute. I got a Whatsapp message from Robin apologising and asking if it was okay for me to not go as well, as it was originally meant to be a girly night out anyway before inviting me and Carl. I told her that was absolutely fine with that and that there was no need to apologise and that I hoped they enjoy the evening. I was fine with this at the time, though there was naturally the worry that I was being uninvited due to Robin now knowing I had feeling for her.
However, when I told some of my non-work friends that I had been asked not to go, they immediately thought this was absolutely horrible of them towards me, regardless of if I was the only guy going with the group. I’ve told a few more people about this (as well as that I had admitted my feelings to Robin) since then and everyone has had the same reaction. At first, I tried defending my colleagues (as I genuinely would have preferred not to not go at the time), but I came to consider that my friends were right and this wasn’t an acceptable way to treat a mate. As I’m writing this, I still don’t know how I feel about what they did. Was I just blind to it due to my feelings for Robin and preferred to only see the good things in her? Was I just deluded in the belief that my friends would never do something horrible towards me?
The weeks and months after that, I gradually came to feel as though I was being left out of the group of my work friends. It is important to note here that at some point during this time, Robin got a new boyfriend, Jack. Of course, this was absolutely fine and really gave me a good amount of closure on the situation and any feelings I had remaining for Robin. I understand that some of Robin’s avoidance of me may have been to protect me from being upset by this, though it really was not necessary.
There were lots of things that happened to cause me to feel excluded in these months, of which the following are a few examples. I would see Robin, Sam and Carl often go out for walks during their lunch breaks, without inviting me. On one occasion they invited me out with them after I saw them leaving, but this felt like they were only doing it because I had seen them. They would have messaged me or stopped by my office to see if I was free if they actually desired me to be there. Another time, I was asked when I was free during the school holidays and after I answered, the group specifically arranged a meet-up time that I couldn’t make. On another occasion, I was very excited to go to a musicals-themed quiz night hosted at our college, as I love musicals. I said I would be interested in going, if others in our group were, but no-one said they did. However, Robin told me the next day that they did go, but it was last minute so they didn’t have time to ask me. They could have sent a message or came to my office, so I don’t understand how this was a problem.
Whenever I asked to go on walks with people or arrange things outside of work, either in-person or on our Whatsapp group, my colleagues never seemed to be available. What I noticed when other colleagues asked the same things, was that people were either more available, or if they weren’t available, they would suggest another time. They didn’t do this when I asked. I eventually gave up asking. It was pretty humiliating to be repeatedly turned down on a groups chat.
The college held an event one evening, which involved a meal at the site. My colleagues were going, so I decided to go along as well. I had been the previous year to the event and had really enjoyed it. However, this one ended up really upsetting me. Before the meal, there was a talk in our lecture hall. I was the first of my colleagues to enter and saved them a row of seats towards the back of the room (near the entrance). However, all seven of my colleagues who were there walked straight past me. If it was one or two it might be possible that they just didn’t see me, but all seven of them? I highly doubt it. For the meal, I was the first of the group to arrive again to the room, so claimed a table. When the others arrived, they all sat on the table next to mine. They said to pull our two tables together so I could sit with them, which we did, but the seven of them crowded onto their own table, whilst I was sat on my own. The colleague sitting closest to my table also fully turned their back to me, so it felt as though they were excluding me and making it difficult for me to engage in conversations. Throughout the evening, I tried to chat with each of my colleagues, but every time was either met with a one-word answer, or a quick acknowledgement, then they would move on to speak with someone else on the table. It felt like they asked to pull the two tables together so it looked like they were making an effort, but everything else indicated they wanted nothing to do with me. Carl was the only one who actually engaged me in a conversation, as we waited in the line for food, though it was just me and him at this point (the others had got their food already and were back at the table).
There was the occasional time where I was invited to something, but with the feeling of being avoided on the vast majority of occasions, it very much felt like it was just out of pity or an excuse to say that the group made an effort to include me. One time, we went out for coffee after work. I was invited by Sam, but when I turned up, Robin and Carl both seemed very surprised to see me there. On another occasion, we went out for food. On this event, it was very clear that Robin had feelings for Carl. She was quite ‘touchy-feely’ with him and was taking selfies with him, but no-one else. I wasn’t the only one of us to notice. In Sam’s words, she was “all over him” and she actually had to tell Robin to back away from Carl a bit, as Carl was already in a long-term relationship. Was this actually just Robin sending a message to me that she wasn’t interested in me? Or I am just being too self-centred there? It was certainly very hard and quite upsetting for me to sit there with them, bearing in mind I still had feelings for Robin at this point.
The difficulties with all these is that, on their own, each one of the examples of being left out can just be explained as bad luck, bad timing, or a one-off. However, the fact that these things kept happening led me to believe that the group were actively excluding me. This went on for a few months. This led to my self-esteem and mental wellbeing being completely wrecked. I thought I was a terrible person, a waste of space, a creep and that people would be better-off without me. I won’t go into details but I got to a really low point. I ended up speaking with my GP, going onto anti-depression medication and attending counselling sessions. I know I should have communicated with my colleagues earlier, but could never bring myself to. I have severe social anxiety and do whatever I can to avoid conflict, even if that means suffering myself.
Eventually I couldn’t take it anymore. Not being able to focus on anything but the worry and the almost physical pain of the anxiety, every single day, was horrible. On the advice of another work colleague and a friend, both of whom I had been very open with, I decided to speak to Robin. I asked if we could have a quick chat alone and she said that was absolutely fine. I saw her at the end of one of her lessons. It was really tricky at first, I could feel my hands shaking with the nerves. I told her that I didn’t mean to sound accusing, even though it would probably sound like that and that whatever was said, I wouldn’t get upset and didn’t intend for her to be upset, all I was seeking with honesty and clarification. I bluntly asked if the group were avoiding me. Perhaps being naïve, I honestly expected her to be surprised and say she wasn’t aware of how they had been acting towards me and the impact it was having. However, she told me that they were avoiding me.
She went on to say that when they were about to go on a walk on a lunch break a while ago, Robin had asked Sam and Carl if they should ask if I would like to go, but Sam had said “would Jack not be uncomfortable with that?”. After that, they made a point of purposely not inviting me on walks. Robin also said that she was close with Sam and Carl and they sometimes discussed things like their partners, which she thought might upset me. I reassured her that it wouldn’t, but I told Robin that these reasons were all absolutely fine and that I completely understood and thanked her for her honesty. She said that she had intended to tell me sooner, but hadn’t got round to it (yeah right, a whole year and not finding the opportunity?). I didn’t say it at the time, but I would have really appreciated if they had just told me, instead of letting me think I was an awful person and that they hated me. I’m sure anyone would feel like that if their friends started excluding them.
As we left the room, Robin said that she would like to start using the college gym and I said that I use it after work that day. She said she’d really like to join me, which made me happy and feel as though she would like to perhaps make it up to me a bit by spending time with me to show she was comfortable around me. After I met with Robin, she messaged me thanking me for my honestly and I replied thanking her for her honesty as well. Unfortunately, later in the day Robin asked to speak with me on my own. She said she had told Jack that she was going to the gym with me that evening and he was really uncomfortable with it and asked her not to go. I said that I understood and that it was absolutely fine. I asked if she had told Jack about me and that I had had feelings for her in the past, but she said she hadn’t. She said she wasn’t sure if she would tell him. I told her that I wouldn’t say anything for or against doing this as it wasn’t my decision to make, it was their relationship and that shouldn’t be influenced by what I say, though I said that it was important that you are honest with and trust each other in a relationship. She asked if I would still come to badminton with the group on Monday (which we planned for the first time that week, it wasn’t a regular thing) I did go to it and found that it was quite fun, though I was wary the whole time of the others and how they were acting towards me, so could never truly relax. It seemed as though nothing was out of the ordinary and we got on fine.
The next day, we got a message on our group Whatsapp chat from David (another colleague) saying he was going to the gym that night if anyone would like to join him. Immediately, Robin said she would come and Sam as well. I was absolutely heartbroken by this. Even though David was in a relationship and Sam was coming as well, there was either no consideration of how I would feel seeing this, or it was even possible (though I honestly don’t think likely) that it was intentional in order to make me feel excluded again. Why was Robin fine with going with Dan, but not me? Why was Jack comfortable with Dan and not me? People can still have affairs in relationships, so I don’t understand why David was safe for Robin to be around but not me. Though Sam was there as well, she only stayed for about ten minutes when we played badminton together, so was unlikely to stay long. I felt that, despite what was said to me by Robin, they still hated me and regarded me as a creep.
This, for me, was the final straw. Taken with the fact that I had it now confirmed that the group were actively avoiding me by speaking to Robin, I decided that I needed a clean break from the group. I had been thinking of doing this for months, but hadn’t seriously considered doing it until now. For once I was going to put my own wellbeing and mental health first. I decided that I shouldn’t care what the others thought of me. So, I left the Whatsapp group. I waited until the Friday of that week after work, so that people wouldn’t immediately come and speak to me, when I really didn’t want to see anyone.
I didn’t block individual people, but I received no contact afterwards. As of writing this (just over two weeks after leaving the Whatsapp group), they’ve left me alone. Hopefully they got the message that I was not interested in the group, or perhaps they were relieved that I had removed myself, rather than them having to keep secretly excluding me. Maybe they thought I just needed space. Maybe they just didn’t care. Sometimes the trash takes itself out. Like trash is completely how they’ve made me feel and to be fair, they’re probably right. I’m fine with whatever. I worried about being confronted by them, either by message or in person, as I wasn’t sure what I would say. Would I just be blunt and perhaps upset them by telling them how I really felt? Or would it be best just to say I didn’t want to talk anymore? I’m still not sure what the best response would be if it came to that. Anyway, as of writing this now, none of them have spoken to me. I’m absolutely fine with that. I’ve felt a lot better, though I still wonder if I do need to speak with them to get full closure, but I think I’m happy where I am now. Perhaps some time will help.
The only contact I’ve had has been a brief chat with Carl. It was a fairly normal chat about films we had seen recently, but I told him that I had left the group (I believe only group admins get notified if a member leaves). I said that I had no hard feeling towards him and that I’m still happy to speak to him and the others and say hi when I see them around, I just didn’t want to hang out with them anymore. He said there were no hard feelings from his side either and that I would be welcome to join the Whatsapp group again if when I was ready. He said that he has left groups in the past that were not right for him, so he understood. I’m honestly not sure what to think about Carl. He’s always been very friendly with me, but on the other hand has still gone along with the others in excluding me, without saying anything.
I was done with being a friend just when it was convenient to them. People don’t just exclude people for no reason. Even without any other information or things that have happened before, or to protect me from getting upset at Robin having a boyfriend, to purposely exclude someone you claim is your friend, without telling them, is a vile and horrible thing to do. I just wish they had been honest with me so that I knew what I could repair or change about myself that made me so unlikeable to them. It’s clear that the level of friendship I held the others in the group in was not the same as they held mine in. Even when taking into account that I may be overthinking things, my friends shouldn’t be making me feel the way I did. Likewise, they shouldn’t be ignorant to how their friend may feel because of what they say or do. Friendships work both ways and I feel this wasn’t happening here. I don’t feel comfortable trusting any of them again, because I think I’ll just get hurt again. I’ve opened-up about a lot of personal things with them in the past and honestly I really regret it now.
I’m so done with putting in all the effort to be friends with them, support them when they needed it, when it all feels one-sided. I am done being made to feel like I’m hated and that I’m a creep and that I’m just an expendable person. Even if it wasn’t intentional, there was no consideration to how their actions would impact me. I know I’m not the main character in other peoples’ lives. People all have their own personal things that they are dealing with and carrying around on a daily basis. However, I believe that you should at the very least think how what you do might upset people if they are truly your friends.
There seems to be some double standards going on here as well. Why was it okay for Robin to spend lots of time alone with Carl, even though she was single, clearly had romantic feelings for him and that he had a partner, but I wasn’t allowed to do the same as it would make Jack uncomfortable? I think there some insecurity in the relationship between him and Robin, but I understand that can be completely normal in the early stages of a relationship. It just saddens me that I am not seen as trustworthy enough to be alone with Robin, even though, as of writing this, Robin says that Jack still isn’t aware of my past feelings for Robin. Those feeling were long since gone before I knew for certain that I was being excluded. Perhaps I should not have trusted Robin after how she treated Sam, but is now best friends with her.
Any advice on this would be greatly appreciated. Am I just being pathetic and am actually in the wrong here? What do I do now? Do I do anything at all?

Welcome to our fifth discussion of Leviathan Wakes. Hold onto your cool detective hats or your environment suits, because we finally get some answers to our mystery! This week, we will discuss Chapters 34-40. The Marginalia post is here. You can find the Schedule here.
The discussion questions are below. One note - this is a very popular book series and TV show, but please keep in mind that not everyone has read or watched already, so be mindful not to include anything that could be a hint or a spoiler! Please mark spoilers not related to this section of the book using the format > ! Spoiler text here !< (without any spaces between the characters themselves or between the characters and the first and last words).
Now brace yourselves: here comes the juice!
Chapter Summaries:
Chapter 34 - Miller: Detective Miller and the crew of the Roci board the hidden ship (the one that captured the crew of the Scopuli before destroying it), wearing environment suits because the ship has no atmosphere - someone left the doors open. They stick together at first as they move through the ship, discovering signs of a struggle, zombie vomit, and twelve torpedo tubes big enough to destroy capital ships like the Donnager or the Canterbury. Miller uses his detective skills to determine that everyone but Julie retreated to engineering. Once there, they discover a truly grisly sight: layers of human flesh and bones are sort of fused around the reactor, which has been shut down. Naomi and Holden gasp in shock and disgust, Miller turns on his cop brain to suppress emotion and view it as a crime scene, and Amos seems… calm and able to ignore the gore. The team splits up to look for more clues.
Amos stays in engineering to start up the computers and get the reactor back online. Naomi works on the ops deck to run diagnostics. Miller and Holden head to the bridge, which wasn’t affected by the fighting onboard. Miller reviews the internal feeds and finds footage showing the captured Scopuli crew being led onto the ship, stripped, and put in restraints. Julie fights back viciously but is knocked unconscious and stuffed in a locker with a jumpsuit (which is where we met her in the prologue). The crew is left in the galley for 132 hours before they decide to make a stand, but it is quickly suppressed. One of the crew is thrown out an airlock and the others are heavily restrained as they scream and cry. Just as Miller gets to the first appearance of a vomit zombie (at hour 160 of footage), Amos yells that he’s been exposed to some radiation because the human flesh blob had damaged the reactor shielding. He decides to keep working while Alex monitors his health status from the Roci.
Then Holden calls Miller over to view one of the last feeds Julie accessed. It’s a corporate presentation video created for a man named Dresden and the board of Protogen. It features a man Miller dubs “the sociopath” because of his cold, practiced smile…and because of the content. The sociopath tells the board (and us) the history of scientific discovery on Phoebe, which was thought to just be a moon and a source of water, but became a research station when a survey found complex silicon structures in the ice. Protogen was tasked with investigating and discovered that Phoebe is not a moon but evidence of a galactic biosphere: it is an alien weapon sent towards Earth 2 ⅓ billion years ago, which never made it because of orbital mechanics. Protogen has discovered that this weapon is not alive per se; rather, it is something they’ve termed the “protomolecule” which has the ability to maintain structure while replicating other systems and manipulating them at scalable rates. Of course, they alerted the proper authorities and made sure… just kidding, they’ve secretly been doing tests. The sociopath believes that whoever controls the protomolecule will gain control of all political and economic power going forward. Chillingly, the sociopath urges them to pursue large-scale testing to understand the protomolecule and its human applications. That large-scale testing is Eros.
TL;DR - Julie found evidence that Protogen (her dad’s company) has discovered an alien weapon, branded it the “protomolecule”, and secretly tested it on the people of Eros (and probably other smaller tests). The entire war has just been a distraction.
Chapter 35 - Holden: Naomi explains that most of the messages on the comm logs have been coded, but the last one is in plain text: the captain informed Thoth Station that the ship was contaminated, everyone was about to die, and the “materials” had been secured. He also planned to send vector data so they could find the ship. The Roci crew put two and alien-symbol-for-two together: they figure out that the captain has locked protomolecule samples in his safe. They also decide that the tightbeam messages were being sent to a secret research station Protogen was using to monitor the Eros experiment. Even though the fact “Naomi is the best” is a proven concept on par with “space is cold”, she is NOT able to open the captain’s safe, so they decide to cut it out of the wall and bring it with them on the Roci. They also scuttle the ship so no one can a) recover the stealth technology and alien weapons, or b) get exposed to the protomolecule-human soup inside. (Amos would have preferred to hack the frozen dead body goo off the reactor with a chainsaw and salvage such an impressive and expensive ship, which is… another way to go.)
It’s clear that someone else with stealth tech is searching actively for this ship, but the Roci won’t see them coming so they decide to get the hell out of Dodge. Naomi jokes that their options include turning the safe over to the OPA (they’d be heroes), selling out to Mars (they’d be rich), or starting their own biotech firm (just kidding, that’s evil). When Miller checks in with Holden about a decision on where to go next, he drops a figurative bomb on him regarding actual bombs in the news. Since Holden did his best Edward Snowden impersonation and leaked the data that the mystery ships are from Earth, Mars asked a few too many questions and in response, Earth has blown up a whole bunch of Martian ships and destroyed the Deimos deep radar station. Miller ruefully gives Holden credit for sticking to his guns about his belief in “free information”. He also points out that Holden’s principles make him responsible for all those deaths and the destruction of the Earth-Mars Coalition… and possibly the universe as they know it.
Chapter 36 - Miller: The war between Mars and the Belt seems like no big deal now that Earth and Mars are fighting. Miller watches the news feeds as the conflict turns into a blockade, and he realizes he is steeling himself for an announcement of a planetary attack on Earth or Mars, but it never comes. He and Amos deal with the stress by having beer for breakfast.
Miller meets up with Holden in the med bay for their routine blood flushes and cancer treatments, and they reopen their debate about what to do with the data files and who is to blame for the war(s).

• Holden’s position: Broadcast everything to everyone! (I know, I know, so out of character, right?) People will understand that they’ve been set up and will turn their wrath on Protogen instead of each other. Also, these are ancient conflicts. The Belt has always hated Mars and the inner planets in general. Mars and Earth have always had animosities secretly brewing and they do military training for the inevitable showdown. Or as Miller puts it, “Not my powder keg; I just brought the match.”
• Miller’s position: Stop and consider what people will do if they hear an Earth company did this. Every other data leak has been used as an excuse to shoot at someone the other side doesn’t like. Also, people suck. They aren’t going to hold hands and sing Kumbaya just because Protogen is the bad guy. They’ll move on to shooting each other so they can be the ones to control the protomolecule. Or as Holden puts it, “Maybe Protogen is a little right. People are too dumb to be trusted with big information so we should keep hard, scary stuff a big secret. That’ll totally work out.”

Holden’s idealism starts to fade as he takes in Miller’s hard truths about humanity. To be fair, Miller loses a little idealism over his perceptions of the inner planets’ relationship which, to the Belt, seemed stable and friendly enough (and united against them). Miller encourages Holden to use Naomi’s judgment as a measuring stick for whether something is right (similar to how he uses illusion-Julie as his conscience and sounding board) and then he goes back to the news feeds to watch Ceres slowly collapse into chaos. Holden decides the only person and place he trusts - or at least doesn’t completely distrust - is Fred Johnson on Tycho Station, so they head there. Holden also wonders why they don’t just destroy the safe and make sure everyone stays away from Eros and Phoebe; Miller admits it’s because the protomolecule might just be the holy grail.
Chapter 37 - Holden: The crew of the Roci is taking a break from doom scrolling to cook fake space lasagna for dinner and bond over the food and conversation. As Holden watches the crew laugh at Amos’s belches and Miller’s wild story about cheese smuggling, he reflects that they represent all three prongs of the conflict: Naomi and Miller are Belters, Amos and he are from Earth, and Alex is from Mars. Yet they’re friends, and Holden knows this is what they have to fight for. The cheese smuggling makes no sense to Amos (why cheese and not drugs?), and Naomi points out that this illustrates how little people from the inner planets understand Belters. Earthers have free air and easy access to resources, while Belters know everything that sustains life is rare and their access to it is fragile. And this is why Protogen didn’t blink an eye before killing 1.5 million Belters on Eros: they’re “other”. Then Alex points out that this doesn’t make sense; it's a risky and unnecessarily complicated way to kill people just to satisfy prejudices. It becomes clear that Eros isn’t a hate crime, it’s a vacuum-sealed test tube to let the protomolecule learn how to do its job better by giving it access to a huge amount of biomass. The early transformations looked incomplete, as if it didn’t know how to work with human flesh yet, so Protogen was giving it a chance to train. Holden wants to know where they would even find enough people who would support an evil operation like this, and Miller promises to ask Dresden (the Protogen board member mentioned in the video) when they meet him. Something tells me that conversation won’t go well.
As the Roci approaches Tycho station, Holden and Miller take in the view of the Nauvoo, the partially constructed Mormon generation ship. When Miller says the Mormans may be in for a long and lonely death if they don’t find a habitable planet, Holden notes that this is the good kind of galactic exploration humans can accomplish (the protomolecule being the bad kind). Miller then asks Holden why he trusts Fred, and Holden explains that in addition to being the only person who hasn’t tried to jail them or blow them up since all this began, Fred is “real OPA”: he’s a politician and not part of the war-mongering factions who think they can survive indefinitely without the inner planets. When Miller points out that there isn’t a political solution to Protogen, Holden insists Fred has other skills, too. Later, Fred reads through all the information on the protomolecule and is incredulous that anyone could think to do this. Miller assures him that genocide is an old-school crime and it’s important that they stop it. Holden offers up the location of the observation station in exchange for enough OPA fighters to take down Protogen, and the right to retain custody of the safe and its contents. Fred agrees only after Holden points out that no one else can be trusted to do the right thing with a secret this big. Plus, he says Fred already knows what Holden will do with it.
Chapter 38 - Miller: It feels strange to Miller to explore the wide open spaces of Tycho Station, the fanciest place he has ever set foot on. He notices Naomi working on her hand terminal and letting her food get cold; she is too preoccupied with trying to figure out the location of the station to enjoy the amenities. As they talk, Miller is reminded of Havelock’s advice to just let go when he got pulled off a case, which jogs his memory that Havelock actually works for Protogen! (I’m surprised he didn’t get there faster; maybe everyone had a point that he was sort of a washed up detective.) He rushes off to make contact with his old buddy - probably his last real partner ever - in an encrypted drop site of a Ganymede server cluster. As he waits for a response, Miller is amused to realize he has started thinking like Holden: he feels like someone should warn the Mormans that they could potentially run into the alien creators of the protomolecule who may want to kill them. Havelock comes through, passing along the coordinates to a “very scary deep research and development lab” and asking Miller to be discreet never contact him again so he doesn’t get killed for betraying his employer. Miller sends him an encrypted warning to quit his job ASAP and not take postings at any black ops sites, before saying goodbye for the last time to the only person that still respected him as a cop. (I may or may not be sniffling a bit at this.)
Miller rounds up Naomi and Holden so they can bring Fred the coordinates. In Fred’s office, Miller starts lecturing him about the serious nature of the mission and the need to have a solid plan with adequate firepower, not the usual OPA shenanigans. Everyone’s a little confused until they realize that Miller doesn’t know that Fred is “the butcher of Anderson Station” and a former Colonel in the Earth Navy. Fred assures Miller he’s no amateur and will plan ahead. Miller then insists that he get to come along for the assault on Thoth Station. Eight days later, the plan is set in motion and Miller begins packing his meager belongings into a very small bag, figuring he’ll never see the Roci again. Even if he makes it off Thoth alive, he’ll have to figure out a way to make money and improvise a life plan of some sort. He tries to thank Holden and say goodbye, but the Roci’s captain interrupts Miller to ask where they’ll all meet up after the mission is complete. Miller is confused at first, then overcome with emotion when he realizes Holden considers Miller part of the crew! I’m not crying, you’re crying. Actually, it’s Miller who is weeping. But he pulls himself together so he can head to the assault ship.
Chapter 39 - Holden: The Rocinante needs to sneak up on Thoth Station, so they are pretending to be a loose cargo container that broke off the Guy Molinari (the Belter ship carrying the assault team, which is pretending to be a cargo ship). They fly with everything shut down so that it’s more convincing, hoping they can get close enough to the station to do some damage before Thoth starts firing back. As they approach and are able to reboot everything needed for battle, a stealth ship is spied hanging out near Thoth Station. Then, suddenly it becomes clear that there are two small stealth ships, which will be much harder to fight off. Everyone does their jobs efficiently on the Roci, but in the ensuing battle with the stealth ships, they start to take some damage. First, the Roci is hit by a gauss cannon that goes straight through the machine shop and galley. Holden mourns his coffee maker. Amos notices a leak in the maneuvering thrusters and heads to fix it between the inner and outer hulls, which isn’t an ideal place to be floating around during a battle. This stresses Naomi out, but Holden orders everyone to stay focused. They are able to take out one of the stealth ships, but the other gets close enough to do some impressive damage to the Roci. There is major hull damage as well as loss of four maneuvering thrusters, a PDC, their O2 storage, and the crew airlock. Alex is about to destroy the second stealth ship when the Roci’s point defense cannons (PDCs) detonate an enemy warhead up close. It knocks everyone out, punches holes throughout the Roci (narrowly missing Naomi), dislodges equipment, and fills the ship with debris. Holden marvels that they are alive at all, and Alex points out that is only because the ship’s anti-spalling webbing eliminates shrapnel. They make contact with Fred, who says he’ll find them a place to land, and the Guy Molinari prepares for the assault on Thoth Station. It’s Miller’s turn to shine!
Chapter 40 - Miller: On the Guy Molinari, Miller is talking to a Belter kid named Diogo as they wait for the assault to start. Miller realizes that while he has fancy Martian armor from the Roci and experience with gunfights in station corridors, he is surrounded by inexperienced young Belters with borrowed gear, and he will likely have to watch dozens of them die during the battle. But Diogo isn’t worried; he is confident and eager to get started. Fred announces that they are ready to start boarding since the Roci gave them the “all clear”, and Miller is happy to hear his friends have survived. The assault on the station starts off rough, with Protogen soldiers fighting them in the corridors and automatic defense lasers taking out some of the Belters in the first wave. But Fred knows how to command his OPA “troops” and keep them in line, and things start to go more smoothly as they slow down and maneuver carefully. Miller and Diogo are part of a group taking shelter at Fred’s direction and fending off Protogen counterattacks, and they start to talk during a lull. When two Protogen soldiers sneak up on them from behind, Diogo is hit and Miller chastises himself for chatting during a battle and not staying alert. He thinks Diogo is dead, but he pops up laughing and streaked with white goo from crowd suppression rounds, which Miller finds an odd choice of weapon. It’s the first sign that Thoth Station may not totally understand what’s happening. The OPA soldiers cut their way through the blast doors to get to the operations center, where they find Dresden (the dude mentioned in the sociopath’s Protogen video). Fred arrives to take command of the station, and Dresden offers to negotiate, clearly misunderstanding the reason for the assault. He offers to give the OPA whatever resources they need to go back to fighting their war (money, medical supplies, weapons, ordnance) if they’ll just leave and let the station get back to their very important work. Fred points out that they know about Eros, but Dresden insists no one knows what they did there, and there won’t be a better bargaining position for Fred when Earth sends its battleships. Fred basically calls Dresden Satan, but Dresden doesn’t understand the reference.

My wife’s best friend who I will call Sarah moved in with us about 1 month ago after her husband had her arrested for getting physical with him and scratching his face. I have been a mutual friend with both Sarah and her husband that I will John. Our kids are friends and we would often get the families together. We have been put in the middle of the feud. John has a restraining order out on Sarah and the only way she gets to see the kids is supervised visitation. John listed my wife as the person that has to be present while her kids visit in 3 hour time blocks. I thought it was weird that John only listed my wife on there considering I am the only one (between my wife and I) that directly communicates with him (text and calls). John and my wife were always cordial to one another but between all 4 of us, they are the only two that had no real friendship. My wife is prettier than Sarah, and I have caught John staring at my wife’s chest and ass in the past. It never bothered me. During one of John and Sarah’s last fights, he said that Sarah’s face looked much older than my wife’s (both are very into skincare and anti-aging, so this really pissed Sarah off). John is an incredibly controlling husband that treated Sarah very poorly and my wife has always said that he is such an asshole and that she can’t stand him.
This is where things began to get weird…
After Sarah moved in, John continued to call me to discuss his wife. My wife told me that I was being too kind to him after the way he has treated her so poorly over the years, and having her arrested. My wife told me that it was time to choose a side (Sarah’s) and to stop talking with John. She told me I was two faced for continuing to speak with him. She called him Satan because he was already running around with a few different women and their kids, all while taunting her in various ways and trying to destroy her life. Suddenly John starts reaching out to my wife to schedule visitations with their kids based on my wife’s schedule. He could’ve listed both of us on the supervision list but he only put my wife. I suspect that he felt like it would lead to an open line of communication between the two of them(previously my wife didn’t even have his number in her phone) My wife acted very annoyed that she was put in that position because he never asked beforehand.. basically if Sarah wanted to see her kids, my wife would need to be involved. Here is where things got weird…
We had a birthday party for one of our daughters and we invited his kids to her party. He brought the kids and oddly stayed in the area with his youngest and waited around, but didn’t join the party. Later that day I sent him a text thanking him for the gifts they got. The next morning(Mother’s Day), one of the first things my wife does is send him a thank you text that I felt was a “gushing” thank you. It was weird to me that he was not only the first thank you text that she sent, but she only sent 3 out of the 8-9 parents that were there.
Is this thank you a bit much?
“We had the gifts mixed up but Sarah later clarified the gifts with the flower wrapping paper were from y'all! But as you can see, she loved them. Thank you very much for going out of your way to get them and for bringing the kids out to celebrate with Tara(our daughter) and waiting so patiently with jane(his youngest daughter). It meant so much to us!”
Here was my thank you the night before …
“Thanks a lot for all the stuff for Tara. She loved it all. You got much more than you should’ve”
John’s reply to my wife’s thank you text and then wishing her happy Mother’s Day.
“You are so welcome, a bit sad we were not able to be there as a complete family. Praying next year is different.”
“Happy Mothers Day, the kids and Dave are so blessed to have you.” (Clearly a compliment to her and a dig at his wife)
My wife’s reply…
Sunday 1:56 PM Thank you! I am sorry for leaving you hanging about today. Would you like to plan for around 430-730? We are getting a slow start and I just hoped to go to the beach for a little bit.
(She just says thank you? I would’ve thought she would’ve also said that their kids are blessed to have her best friend as a mom as well)
-John’s reply- That sounds perfect. See you then. Sunday 2:58 PM
(Sarah then sent a screenshot of the family app that they are legally allowed to communicate on. She told him that he was intruding on my wife’s Mother’s Day, and it was stressing my wife out, which was true. After seeing what Sarah told John, my wife felt compelled to reach back out to John with the following…
“Hey John. I'm not stressed. It just took forever to get the kids ready and out”
Keep in mind that he has repeatedly verbally abused her friend, has been hanging out with other woman, kicked her out of her house without her belongings, reported her to the state licensing board for her “arrest” and caused her license to be suspended, told her that he hope she died during an upcoming surgery she was supposed to have, and insulted her by implying that she was a harm to her kids and her best friend needed supervision during the time she spent with her kids… I was called “two faced” and told I was betraying Sarah, simply because I would answer John’s calls and texts.
We get home and John brings his kids over with a Mother’s Day plant and card (same ones, for my wife and Sarah). I thought this was weird and another way of slighting at Sarah, putting the two of them on the same level. The next day, my wife (who doesn’t garden) was watering the plants and walking around with the plants looking for a place to plant them. (I mentioned to Sarah that my wife watered the plants and she seems very surprised and upset that she did that, considering it was intended to be a slight to her.). I was very surprised considering our 9-year-old got her a plant from Lowe’s a year or two ago and she simply let it dry out and die on the counter (never watering it) which really hurt our daughters feelings….
Two days later I looked at my wife’s messages with John and was very surprised. My wife knew I had looked at her phone and sent me a nasty text to stay off of it. I told her that I was surprised that she was being so chummy with John considering how he has been treating Sarah, and had previously called me “two faced” for continuing to talk to John. I told her that her thank you to John was “gushing” and clearly made him feel good as he gave her a compliment about how blessed we were to have her immediately after that. I told her I was also surprised that she didn’t just have me tell him thank you considering she knows we talk and are friends. My wife got really mad and said she did nothing wrong and called me a jealous psycho. She said she would show the thread to Sarah because she had nothing to hide and did nothing wrong. I told her that I would strongly advise against it because I think it would hurt Sarah’s feelings and cause her to be upset with my wife. My wife continued to call me a lot of mean names and told me I needed professional mental help. She then changed the password on her phone. She then told Sarah that it would prob be best for her and John to coordinate through the app because I was acting very bothered by her talking to John (implying jealousy).
My wife and I began talking about the situation again yesterday and I told her that I wasn’t dwelling on it but wish she would acknowledge the inappropriateness of the conversation, considering the circumstances. She refused and again began calling me a psycho that is destroying her life. I told her that if she felt like it was a completely appropriate conversation, then she should show Sarah. She refused. She then sends me the following :
“I deleted his thread and his contact information. Accidentally called his number while I was trying to figure out how and immediately hung up. I’m sure you’ll say I called him on purpose. I have a screenshot of the thread so you won’t accuse me of trying to get rid of evidence.”
As it turned out, she didn’t have a screenshot of the thread. I found it very odd that she deleted the conversation (she did it during this last argument we were having about the appropriateness of it and telling her to show Sarah..
The other things that bothered me was that I wrote a kind Mother’s Day message on her Facebook, which she saw but never acknowledged on Facebook or said anything to me, and she completely ignored my happy birthday post to our daughter on Facebook. She was so quick to acknowledge the person she called “Satan” but not to her husband. I am considering the possibility that I am overly sensitive these days. My wife just went through a real bad case of postpartum rage where she was verbally abusive toward me and I genuinely felt like she hated me. It has left me with what she believes to be ptsd and says she feels very badly about it. It was the worst thing I have ever experienced and it nearly ended our family. Am I over-reacting or was my wife out of line?
Why did she delete the thread when I pressed her to show Sarah?
Was her thank you “gushing” and a bit much, considering the circumstances?
Is my wife really the one that’s two faced?
What should I make of John’s actions with my wife? Should it rub me the wrong way!?
Was telling my wife that we were so lucky to have her flirtatious and should she have replied that they were blessed to have Sarah!?
Would Sarah be hurt by my wife’s conversation with her husband?
Why did my wife feel so anxious to be the one to thank him for the gifts directly and praise him for coming and telling him it meant so much that he brought the kids and waited around?
Thanks in advance

This is geared towards deciding what kind of service/consulting business you can start, or course you could create and sell. But also works for figuring out what kind of higher-paying job you can get, product-based business, etc.
PHASE 1: IDENTIFY
Take 30 minutes today, and 30 minutes tomorrow. Actually invest this time, over two separate days. It works 1000% better that way.
Write down as many answers as you can to the following questions:
1) What tasks are you good at?
(e.g. running, fixing cars, making girls laugh, brewing good coffee)
2) What skills have you learned well?
(e.g. programming, writing viral tweets, a sport)
3) What challenges have you overcome in life?
(e.g. fixed a stutter, overcome a phobia of X, dug yourself out of debt, lost 50 lbs)
4) In jobs you've had, what tasks did you do well at? Especially if you became the "go-to" guy when anyone needed this?
(e.g. calming down mad customers, creating excel spreadsheets, selling)
5) What's easy for you, that's hard for other people?
(finding great photo ops, getting girls' numbers, picking winning stocks)
Keep going until you get a MINIMUM of 30 things. 50 is better. If you don't have at least 30, think harder, and/or start asking friends what you're good at (this is a good thing to do anyway)
Once you have done that:
6) Find at least two friends and family who have known you for years. Ask them: "What have you noticed I am good at?" Ask them in a way that they can take time to give a thoughtful and thorough response (over text works well, since then you have a written record.) If they need prompting, help them with questions like:

• "What do you mean by X?"
• "Tell me more about X."
• "Can you elaborate?"
• "What else have you noticed I am good at?"

This will give you many good additions to your list, which you would never have thought of on your own.
PHASE 2: CLASSIFY
Get a sheet of blank paper, divide it into 4 quadrants. Along the top, write "FEW <-> MANY". On the side, write "LOW <-> HIGH" (but write it sideways).
Take every single item you came up with in Phase 1, and classify it in two ways:
1) FEW vs MANY - How many people does this appeal to?
(e.g. Few: tuning your race car, advanced mathematics.
Many: get a raise at work, get more dates (for guys), find a great guy and keep him (for gals))
2) LOW vs HIGH price - what are people willing to PAY for this?
(e.g. Low: folding clothes, digging dirt, posting comments on twitter, how to throw a baseball
High: Writing advertisements that sell, finally getting in shape after failing at it for 20 years, launching a new high-paying career)
Write each into one of the 4 quadrants on your sheet of paper. If you're not sure, just guess - sort through them quickly, your first impression is fine.
PHASE 3: SORT
The sweet spot is MANY and HIGH PRICE. If you can solve a problem that many people have, and they're willing to pay an arm and a leg for, and you can actually solve that problem for people - that's the easiest to monetize.
For FEW and LOW price - forget about those.
In fact, forget about most LOW price - No one's going to give you stacks of cash for your high-end agency or course for repairing holes in socks.
The exception is something that is you feel you can serve to MANY people, at a profit. You come up with a unique product that you can sell worldwide through Walmart, for example.
Your best bets will probably be on the HIGH end. The more people who want it, the better.
PHASE 4: FILTER
Make a spreadsheet (or write it on paper) with your ideas in the first column, and then five more columns with these labels:

• Need
• Entry
• Control
• Scale
• Timing

Evaluate your ideas on a scale of 1 to 5 for each of these facets:

1. NEED. Is this something people desperately need? The more it is a "need" rather than a "want", people are more likely to pay for it.
   [5 = desperately need, 1 = completely optional]
   
2. ENTRY. How easy is it for a competitor to clone your business, and compete with you? Barriers can include copyright/IP law protections, unique reputation or brand, ingrained habits of the market, etc.
   [5 = difficult to clone and compete, 1 = no barrier to competing]
   
3. CONTROL: Do you have control over the product or service being sold, your pricing, etc.? Or is it controlled by some other entity (e.g. with affiliate marketing)?
   [5 = you have full control over every aspect of the business, 1 = some other entity has full control]
   
4. SCALE: If it becomes profitable, can you ramp up sales (and profit) by a factor of 10? 100? 1,000? What is the MAXIMUM monthly profit this may grow to?
   AND: how easily can it ramp up to that limit?
   Do you have to hire, train and retain expensive employees to scale it?
   Or can you use automation to scale up without effort?
   A food cart on a street corner has a low upper limit to its profit. A nationwide restaurant chain can scale that 1000x, but that will cost a lot of money and time. In contrast, a SaaS computer program can quickly scale up worldwide, maybe even without having to bother hiring any employees at all.
   [5 = scale to the moon easily, 1 = cannot scale high or will be difficult/expensive to scale]
   
5. TIMING - How much of YOUR time is required for the day-to-day operation? At the beginning, of course you will be fully involved. But is there at least a potential path to where it can continue to earn money without requiring a lot of your time?
   [5 = you can eventually drop off the grid for a month and it continues printing money, 1 = it only ever earns money while you are giving it your full attention]
   

Once you have ranked your ideas on these dimensions, select one you feel you can be successful with. An idea that is all 5's is likely to be much better than an idea that is all 1's, but in the end go with your gut.
PHASE 5: EXECUTE
Test it. Create an idea for how to make money on it - whether that's building a business around it (ideally), or getting a job/side hustle - and put that plan into action.
It'll either work or it won't. You'll either make $ or you won't. If not, asking people for feedback in this room. You may need to pick a different idea. Maybe the idea's great, and you need to execute differently.
But keep going, learn from your experiences, and NEVER GIVE UP. There is no failure, you either learn or succeed. The only possible failure is doing nothing and letting time pass by unused.
PRODUCTIVITY WHILE COOLING OFF.
A productive activity that takes very little effort is reading through the money room and spend a good amount of time going through it.
You’ll see how hundreds of guys are making real life building money. Go through them all, and find 5 that appeal to you, and the telegram username of who’s making money that way.
You should be able to answer basic questions. How much do they make monthly from that income source? How long did it take to make that income? How long did it take to get their first payday from that income source? Did they have any prior skills that were required to be able to start that income source? Etc.

Hello all.
I originally posted this on another sub yesterday and was told I would maybe get a better selection of helpful answers on this sub
I recently found out my wife was cheating on me since February of this year.
Long story short a cardiac episode by me a few years ago and subsequent blood thinners and BP meds sapped my sex drive. I tried talking to her about it a few times over the years but she kept assuring me things were good. Then over the past couple years her parents both passed. This year the anniversary of those events triggered what she called a breakdown and midlife crisis. She convinced herself the lack of sex was not medical and was me seeing someone else so she started going to male review shows and then started seeing someone else.
I had suspicions but she assured me things were good and she would never cheat. Then I found out she did. We argued, then talked. She said she did love me and didn’t want the marriage to end. I told her she had to message this guy and end it. Tell him that it’s over, what they did was wrong and she loves her husband and doesn’t want to hurt him. Then she needs to block the number and delete the contact. She did all this in front of me. I also told her we need to do couples therapy. Which she agreed to
We’ve been more physically intimate and have been reconnecting. We talk more openly like we used to. We talked and she unloaded on me all stuff she had never shared about how she had been treated in past relationships and there’s a lot of unresolved trauma she never dealt with.
We had our first therapy session and we are going to have weekly appointments.
She is trying. And I appreciate that.
But my questions are for those who have been cheated on and stayed together….
How did you rebuild the trust? Every time she is texting someone or working late or weekends (which her job does require from time to time) how do you get past that feeling of doubt. That nagging voice going “is she really working? She told you she was working before when she was really having sex with another guy”
How do you get over the fear that, as she works through her trauma that she will come to realize her shutting everyone out caused her to fall out of love with you. And that feeling isn’t just waiting to be uncovered, but she killed it and buried it and it won’t come back.
Do those feelings ever go away? How did you work through them. I am sure therapy will help but right now all I feel is anger and fear.
Anger, not at the act of cheating ironically, but that had she just been open and honest rather than cloak herself in grief and anger, this could have all been avoided.
And the fear as I described. That when it’s all said and done she killed her feelings for me because that was easier for her than dealing with her pain and trauma. And fear of not getting the ability to trust back, that it will happen again. She rationalized it once and lied about it already
I know I’m in the first steps of this. But any advice would be helpful.

A little back story, my sister is like a second mom to me. She always took care of me when I was younger, we had a little gap in our relationship once I reached my teenage years until I turned 22 I believe. She also helped me out a lot as an adult when I was doing bad, and helped with the kids, which I am very grateful for. I am doing 100% better financially and life wise thankfully and we grew very close. She comes over to my house daily and we chat. I love her very much. She is or was? My best friend.
On Friday, our mom had a gastric balloon inserted and the plan was that my sister will drive her to the hospital, and then she will drop mom off to stay with me and I will look after her for a week.
Unfortunately, or irresponsibly I kept postponing my oil change and drove 400 miles over and my plan was to get that done and a few other tasks on Friday before it was time to get kids from school and watch mom. Plans changed and my sister made an appointment on Friday at 10 AM and I had to go to the hospital and switch out with her. My mom and I left the hospital around 11:30 AM. I called my sister, asked her if she will be able to come keep mom’s company at 3, so I can get kids, change oil, and go get my bonus child “A” from an hour away. She told me no she cannot leave work, and I said ok. She asked me “why?” I answered and told her my to do list. She told me everything can be postponed till Saturday, and my husband can borrow her car and pick up “A” alone. I said “aww ok” she asked why do you wanna go anyways? I told her I enjoy it. She told me ok well u got a more important task which is take care of mom. I agreed and we hung up.
My mom overheard me mention my oil change. She said she was okay because of the strong meds and to go get it done because its bad for the car. I asked her are you sure? About three times before I turned away from the house and went to get it changed. Now, I know what I did was wrong. I should’ve just kept it to myself and drove us home. I was a bit stressed because of the over 400 miles and indeed could’ve waited till Saturday. I was selfish and very wrong for it and was unaware mom was being a mom.
My sister called me yelling and said angrily: “Where are you?! Ima come get mom! Screw my important work I’ll call in so u can go enjoy doing things” Me: “Take 5.” and she proceeded to yell at me extremely loudly bc I’m at Take 5 and about how selfish and unreliable I am. I asked her why is she talking to me like this? She said because I don’t want to watch our mom. I’m selfish, etc. I said to her that was not what happened and that I agreed to watch her and I have no issues. She accused me of gaslighting and that I am only watching her because she “blocked” all the excuses I had to not watch her by lending my husband her car for the long drive, and suggesting it can wait until Saturday. I said “that’s not what happened. You asked me why I was asking you to watch our mom.” (I thought I was talkin to a friend and told her whats on my mind..) Her “This is the first time I see a toxic trait from you!!” and kept interrupting me (the whole time yelling) “I’M NOT UR EFFIN HUSBAND I’M NOT GONNA GO IN CIRCLES WITH YOU. I’M ON MY WAY TO GET HER.” I said “ok I’ll see u” and we said bye then before hanging up she said in a disgusted tone “Gaslighting bich” I sent her the address and texted her that she was very mean.. She called me immediately yelling “You wanna fight?! I’ll fkin fight” and said many mean things yelling… I said “No. I’m not trying to” she kept going off and I repeated many Okay’s as I couldn’t let a sentence out.
The oil change was done, and I had to leave the area, so I called her to let her know. “Hey where are you? I just got done and left take 5” She started screaming at me even more “Are we playing games?!! I’m already effin here!“ Me: “I had to leave to the main road, Take 5 exit force-“ Her: “ ENOUGH WITH THE EXCUSES! COME BACK IMMEDIATELY! YOU SHOULD’VE CHECKED WITH ME BEFORE LEAVING.” Me: thats what I was doing… but no worries I am making a U-Turn, I literally just left.” She said many things and I just kept saying “ok” she called me disrespectful for saying many okays and hung up.
I immediately started crying because I felt so bad about myself. The whole time I was talking in a respectful tone and I felt so misunderstood.. she was not listening to me. Maybe I’m sensitive..I understand what I did was selfish, but I believe in effective communication and not attacking ppl.
Mother’s day comes up, she texts me abt a present at the door. She bought me a balloon and a teddy with flowers with a really sweet note. Mind you, I did not talk to her for almost two days. I was giving her space bc when I tried telling her she was mean to me she went off on me even more. I texted her thank u and cant wait for the day where we celebrate it together. (She wants to be a mom soon)
Monday, mom comes over and my sister calls her and finds out she is at my house. My sister called me and asked “why are you not talking to me?” I said because of Friday. The yelling and calling me gaslighter, toxic, b*ch really hurt my feelings. She yelled at me some more and said “after everything I’ve done for you, YOU cutting ME off?!! YOU?!” And listed a few major things she done for me and that she has a car seat in her car right now for whenever I needed help. Her: “WHO DOES THAT FOR SOMEONE? NOBODY!” Me: “I know you’re a great sister , bu-“ Her:“YOU UPSET WITH ME? WHAT U DID WAS WORSE! AWFUL AND SELFISH”
I couldn’t get a sentence out. She was crying, I was crying. I said please let me talk.. she said go ahead and right as I was starting my sentence she told me she wants nothing to do with me, or my kids. To not show up at her wedding or house or else cops will be called. Then blocked me.
I found out she forgot to block me on an app so I messaged her there but then she blocked me there too without reading any.
Yesterday, Friday, I was driving mom to DPS to get her D.L & sis called mom and asked her to put her on speaker. She indirectly was talking to me “Hey mom I think “M” is tryna come up with excuses to not show up, and using the cops as an excuse. She obviously has lots of grudges deep inside towards me bc no way all these feelings came out of nowhere. She is hateful inside.”
She said I have a victim mentality, and need serious mental help and that I knew she was all talk and sisters fight.
I responded: “I’m not used to being yelled at, disowned and blocked casually. Never happened before. Of course I took it seriously.”
Her: “Obviously I will not call the cops on u if u show up. There ya go. I did what I should do & invited u and ur welcomed but it makes no difference to me whether u show up or not bc now I know where I stand. What my “value” is to you. Obviously ur looking for a reason to not talk to me or show up to my wedding. Just know ur welcomed but idc if u come or not.”
I love her very much but my feelings were hurt badly.. She said I am unappreciative and “you know whats going on with me! I have many issues, the wedding, work/school, and just got my period!” then compared herself to my husband who yelled at me last week that “I kiss his a** and excuse him, but me, u dont excuse me and stopped talking to me for two days?”
Me: “that is not true bc my spouse and I didnt talk till he apolog-“
Her: u know that BS
Me: I always excuse yo-
Anywho she said “we will never go back to being close again.” and as a sister I am welcomed to the wedding. I said to her that I am too old to be yelled and screamed at like this, we’re not kids anymore. She said “Shame on u to say that. That’s exactly what a child would say. If you’re so mature you would’ve came and talked to me like an adult and let me know that you’re upset with me.”
Me: “that’s literally what I did and got screamed at and insulted, I gave you spa-”
Her: stop I’m not acknowledging what ur saying and ur not acknowledging what I’m saying so its best to not talk until you can comprehend what I’m saying. For tonight, lay in bed and put yourself in my shoes. Picture everything I’ve done for you and how you’re treating me.”
Me *sobbing: “BUT I ONLY DIDNT TALK TO YOU FOR TWOO DAYYYYSSS I WAS GIVING YOU SPACEEE YOU WERE YELLING ATT MEE. I SAID A COMMENT TO YOU AND YOU DIDNT TALK TO ME FOR TWO WEEKS AND I APOLOGIZED ALMOST EVERY SINGLE DA-“
Her: Yes and then I came over even cried and apologized for cutting you off for two weeks.”
Me: finishing my sentence I EXPRESSED TO YOU HOW YOU HURT MY FEELINGS U BLOCKED ME AND DISOWNED ME.”
Her: “Yes. and I apologize for calling u a gaslighting bi*ch.”
Me: U DIDNT.
Her “I am now! I just said I APOLOGIZE. And look at you I am talking to you all normal and look at you all yelling at me and I’m still cool and calm.”
Me: “ I WASNT YELLIN I AM SOBBING MY VOICE IS CRACKED IM CRYING AND MOM HAS YOU ON SPEAKER AND I AM DRIVING ON A HIGHWAY”
Her: “no u were yelling. Even ask “S” I have u on speaker she hears u right now. You have a victim mentality, bro. Seriously. If this is how u see it then u just got a victim mentality. I’m genuine ur sick u need that checked out thats very serious.” (S is my other sister, here for the wedding)
Me: “Idk maybe I do. All I know is this is how I feel. I’m very hurt.”
Her: “What broke me the most is that I got you a mother’s day present like an idiot and lost a part of my pride unknowingly while ur there upset. What? Ur waiting for me to come kiss ur a**?”
DetailsI said an insulting comment a few months ago. She spotted and I told her its abnormal and that preggos usually spot. I know she’s a virgin, and have no doubts. That’s why I said it is abnormal. She thought I was hinting she was pregnant, yelled at me and said “YOU THINK EVERYONE IS A WHRE LIKE YOU?!” and she didnt talk to me for two weeks. I cried and apologized to her many times at the time, but she was too angry. Which is why I thought in this current situation space would be a good idea because she seemed very angry at me, but I guess I was wrong.
I am losing my mind. I feel so wronged but she says I’m wrong?! She said I do not value or appreciate her bc I didnt let her know I was upset and that I purposely didn’t talk to her for two days? But when I said “it goes both ways! U do not value me u rather disown me and block me over-“
Her: “theres a big difference between u and me. I did a lot for u. We’re not the same.” Her: “go trauma bond with your husband over what I did and disrespect me together. Isn’t trauma bond the reason y’all together? You’re welcome”
WHAAAAT?!! HOW CAN I DISRESPECT MY SIS OR ALLOW MY HUSBAND TO DISRESPECT HER?!!
She was very angry that she bought me a mothers day present and said if she had known I was upset she wouldn’t have gotten me a teddy. I said “u didn’t know bc I’m the one that got yelled at..” she shut me up basically and said I am sick in the head and love to be a victim.. I’m so frustrated.
What should I do? I am very hurt but also don’t want to make it a bigger deal by not showing up. I felt like dirt.. I’m not a punching bag.. she doesnt yell at me often. Just this week.. Last week she yelled at me for parking her car wrong and I apologized then texted her and apologized some more bc she was furious and then she said its ok that she was just hungry… How is it my fault she’s hungry?
Do I show up to the wedding? Do I let our relationship die and just be casual sisters? Do I apologize to her for overreacting?
P.s. all the dashes are her cutting me off.
I wish it allowed me to upload screenshots of what I texted her

I (23m) recently met a girl (26f) and after 2 months we've become close friends. She asked a mutual friend for my number and we started talking a lot, she even said she would have liked to join me for a weekend plan the day we starting talking. I saw this and thought she might be interested in me, but kept it cool as I didn't know. At this point I was interested in her but wasn't expecting anything as we were getting to know each other. From that point, we've been talking almost daily for 2 months, and we have hung out a lot of times. She's asked me to stay longer in the laboratory after the others were gone to be with her. She has also invited me to her house a few times, and we've talked a lot about doing other plans together. And she even told me about a guy she stopped responding to because he was texting her a lot and she thought he had romantic intentions. That was the same I was doing with her, and I let her know I was happy she was responding to me, so I took her comment as a proof of her interest in talking with me. We've shared a lot about our lives, and about previous relations we'd had in the past. She told me some very personal things, showing how much she trusts me. During this time, I hadn't tried anything, but I was starting to like her, and all I saw from her part were positive signals. She started joking with me and other colleagues about us having something, and one day we met for dinner and one of those colleagues caught us in the bar and started joking about how she had caught us dating in secret. She just laughed and never said it wasn't like that, so I also took that as a positive signal. But we reached a point in which she was starting to act strange and didn't want our collegues to know we were having those plans in case they might comment something about us. So I finally asked her if she didn't want them to think something false abou us, or if contrarily she didn't want them to know something that was real between us. So we decided to talk. Before talking it out, she asked if after talking we could go spend the weekend alone together, so I took this as an indication that she liked me, and that was what she wanted to tell me. I thought I had been very obvious about liking her. In my mind it was impossible at this point that she didn't know I liked her and that all her signals were just being friendly. But, it turned out she wasn't. I told her I felt atracted to her and I would like to be more than friends. And she replied that all those comments and interest in me had all just been as a friend. She admitted that at some point she had felt attracted to me, and she thought I was an amazing guy and a perfect candidate to date, but that in the end she didn't feel like she wanted anything with me, she couldn't see me as anything more,, and that she saw me as her closest friend. She asked if I thought she had confused or misled me into thinking she liked me, and I told her many things that made me think so from the beginning. She was shocked by it, like she didn't expect it and felt really bad about it, almost crying. She promissed she never thought she was acting like such. I trust her in what she said, that she hadn't given me those hopes on purpouse. But I'm amazed (and a bit angry I admit) that a 26 yo girl with many previous experience dating could have gone through those 2 months without noticing I was into her and unworried about what she was making me think. Some of our friends that knew about my feelings, that had seen us together, and other external friends to which I had showed how we messaged and asked for oppinion, all were as surprised as me that she didn't want anything.
So I wanted to know, is this something common? Have you been in either my or her situation before? Is this something usual to happen to girls? Do guys also do it?

TL;DR: So me (21F) and him (24M) have broken up back in April. He was the one who initiated the breakup. I found out that I was pregnant the first week of April, it was tough for the both of us since we haven’t been together for that long.
Anyway, the day he met my mother was the day he broke up with me. He wasn’t clear about the reason why only until last night. Going back to April, he told me he needed his space to figure out what he wants to do in regard to us and wished for me to remain exclusive to him until then.
I was still pregnant and navigating this became almost debilitating. My mental health was at an all time low and there wasn’t anything that I could do about it. Eventually he did come back, but he had the conversation through text. Which resulted in him staying solid in his choices to end things. He was telling me that I was attacking him after he asked me how I wanted to be treated in the relationship.
I was still pregnant and he said that he would be there to offer support when I get the abortion. 2 days after my procedure, we went no contact because we argued about his lack of empathy. Before we stopped talking he told me "listen, I will never be with you, I will never want to get back with you" and that stung like hell.
Anyway for some reason I ended up reaching out a few days later trying to talk things out. Just letting everyone know, I tend to do this often. But we began talking about the relationship and he began to dismiss me, and made it his mission to misunderstand everything I said while also undermining me about the way I dress and my platonic relationships I have with 2 of my guy friends I’ve known for years.
Fast forward to today, I found out that my abortion failed, the pregnancy is still viable. So as of right now I’m doing terrible mentally but I updated him about the situation and he seemed open and understanding. As we spoke about the situation it turned into a "why the relationship ended" kind of situation and he told me that he felt like he wasn’t the right fit for me and my guy friends are too much of a factor to be with me. May I add that he told me earlier this month that if we were to ever get back together, I would need to cut one of them off and I can only have a 5 minute conversation to end things before I never speak to him again.
Anyway during the conversation last night, he kept calling me weird, my choices of clothes were outrageous, me showing my gym progression was for male validation. Simply just putting me down and I couldn’t get a single word in. Again it felt as though he was purposely misunderstanding me to fit his idea of how things should be. Once the conversation didn’t go his way, he completely shut me down and ghosted me. It’s been well over 12 hours now, I tried calling to which I didn’t get an answer.
Now I’m stuck feeling like everything is my fault all over again. This is the exact same situation that happened a month ago. I’m stuck worrying about how he feels and putting my feelings aside.
I feel gaslit on many points as he would say things that made me question my word and what happened during the relationship. He told me that he has reflected on what he needed to work on but I have such a hard time believing that, because of how he’s been behaving during our conversation.
I’m not sure if I should try reaching out today, my appointment at the clinic is on Tuesday and he told me that he was going to pick me up but now he isn’t answering. The nurse had told me that I needed someone to bring me home as I would be in a very delicate state post-op.
I know I left out a lot of details but it would be absolutely too long. What I’ve grown to realize about him is that it’s his way or no way, once things are challenged he’s out. I compromised do much for him and he told me word for word that I still wasn’t enough, even though he didn’t say it explicitly. Based on what he’s said to me, he sees me as someone who doesn’t respect herself.
He told me that he seeks perfection and that’s also why things had to end. It seemed as though it was easier for him to point out my flaws rather than him admitting to where he actually went wrong.
All I want to know is if I’m being emotionally and mentally manipulated/abused? And it would really be appreciated to hear it from a guy’s perspective as well, I’m open to criticism and I can always elaborate for more context if needed, thank you.

i’m so sad right now bawling my eyes out as i type
basically he (33m) told me (23f) he was going to his mothers tonight for dinner, and that his brother is picking him up and i already knew from the moment he said that that something was up cause they have a rocky relationship all three of them. btw he didn’t “tell me” he was going to his moms. he sent me a screenshot of what i now know is a BS fake made up text conversation between him and his mom with her inviting him over.
anyways he left at 8:30 pm and it’s now about to be 7:00am and he still is gone. haven’t heard from him since 1 am and i’ve called several. several times. so i went on his tablet and saw an email of hotel reservations for last night (since it’s now morning).
i just know he would’ve walked in and tried to play it off like nothing happened, would’ve probably lied and said he fell asleep on his moms couch, phone died, she had no charger, house burnt down. probably would have tried to have sex with me too. so i sent him a picture of the email i saw, told him not to talk to or touch me and left it at that. i’m just so done with this back and forth if you knew you were gonna rebel then you should have just broke up with me to begin with.
important backstory:
when we first got together it was after being on/off fwb for 2 years, then met back up and became official.. so basically he asked if i had sex with anyone within the 6 month timeframe we had stopped talking and i said no but i lied, i did. it lasted 6 minutes.
i didn’t count that as cheating and still don’t because we weren’t even together..ever…just people that fucked. never was a label. but he considered it cheating. so upon getting officially together, he rebels and fucks someone while on a work trip. 3 times in one week. mine was 1 time for like 6 minutes. when confronted, he denied and lied about it for 2 months straight until finally giving in and admitting it. straight gaslit me.
8 ish months go by and after going thru hell we manage to try and work thru it (on my end) but i ended up sleeping with an older man for money. for the sole purpose of i was desperate for money. i hate that i did it and more so that id have to admit it but i planned on telling him but he found out about it by going on my phone. i guess i did it because idk i guess i never really got over the fact that he really had an 3-day span sex partner right in the beginning of our relationship. he even sent her money during that time.
upon finding out 2 weeks ago, we talked about it and i told him everything and he said he was gonna try and trust me and kept pouring the claims of how he “only wants me and sees me in his life” “we have to make this work” “i still wanna marry you” he seemed to be trying to heal from it (i was deeply honest and apologetic about it, unlike when he was caught and gaslit me). next day he tells me he wanted to shoot his brains out in front of me. he wanted to traumatize me in rebel. one minute he’ll say something like that that turn around and profess his true found love for me. i genuinely think he’s just pretending to love me and just trying to hurt me at this point.
the thing is he only found out about what i did 2 weeks ago. meaning if he cheated THIS fast he’s BEEN had someone lined up. he’s BEEN talking to other girls.
what should i do honestly? we live together i moved out here 7 months ago, 800 miles away from home just for him and my family is back home i don’t have a car right now but am in the process of getting one.
for the sake of finances, im thinking of just waiting until i have at least 2-3 more paychecks saved up and just distance myself in the meantime. because i don’t get the car for at least a week anyways. i have too much stuff to fly and 2 cats. i’m gonna slowly throw some of my stuff away so when i get my car it’s not too full.

Hello everyone
Let's get right into it. I had a very traumatic childhood. I'll spare you the details. It lead to extremely low self-worth, crippling social anxiety, depression and some other mental health problems in my youth and and early adulthood. I worked hard on this shit in the past few years to the point where I'm pretty much over it and I'd even say that it made me stronger and better person in the end.
These days I'd say that I'm a pretty well rounded, confident and stable person. I'm very happy with who I am and where I stand, have an master's degree, amazing friends, a variety of interests and hobbies, (men) regularly compliment me on my fit body and women initialize conversation and show interest in me in real life and dating apps. So far so good, right?
Well yes, but also no. With every woman that I started dating, the topic of past relationship sooner or later came up. I'm all about being real and honest, so I always say that I have never been in a relationship before. The usual reaction is a mix of complete disbelief, e.g. "omg what? why has someone like you never been in a relationship??!" and slight disgust. Their complete behavior changes, I can immediately feel how their interest vanishes and they become very cautious. As in, they are looking for what's wrong with me. The situation usually recovers for the most part and we continue having good conversation and laughs, but when the date is over they barely text back until I ask if everything is alright, followed by them ending things.
As for the reasons why I've never been in a relationship I tell the truth. Well, part of it. I was focused on my education and hobbies, always believed in a "happy coincidence" which never happened and my social circle always consisted of guys only. I typically don't dive into my past struggles. I feel like that's way too heavy and personal for a conversation with someone I'm just getting to know. The few times I did, it didn't turn out well either.
On top of that, I really need them to know that I'm very inexperienced when it comes to the physical part. I've only had one ONS in my life and aside from that never kissed or slept with a woman. I've had situations where it was super obvious that she wanted me to initiate something physical, but if they don't know, I'm just too nervous. I know that it'll be a bit awkward at first and I want her to know why that's the case. I just want someone who understands and gives me a chance to explore things together ...
It's super disheartening and I don't really know what to do. It feels like I'm doomed and trapped in this vicious cycle. Maybe some of you have some tips how I can handle this situation better?

I don't know where to start, but this will be a bit long, sorry in advance. Where to start, well I found out a while back that I don't have an emotional connection with my mom at all. I'm 26, the youngest of 3 brothers total, maybe that plays a role in my feeling alone, not emotionally connecting with anyone and "toxic masculinity". Being raised in a Hispanic household and with only older male siblings, we never really hugged or expressed that we loved each other, probably why I'm not used to physical contact and why I crave physical contact so much. Add to that that I've never felt like I could be emotional, open, and vulnerable with my mom, the person that's supposed to love you unconditionally, and yet she has no idea what I'm going through because back then, mental health wasn't a problem and well, you have a roof over your head and food, I don't have anything to complain about. I guess I've been neglected emotionally, and I don't feel like I can open up to anyone in my family, I've only opened up to a friend.
A lot of things have happened recently. I've been craving intimacy, attention, love, to be seen, cared for, and all those things in a partner, yet I know a relationship would do more damage than good. Which is why I turned to a FWB (with a random girl on a dating app) and well, it was a recipe for disaster, yeah I had sex at least, but there was no affection, intimacy, which is what I wanted to begin with, I pretty much got used and my feelings were thrown aside (It's my fault, I knew a FWB wasn't for me, so I learned my lesson.)
The last semester at school, I pretty much just reverted back to being quiet, and I can't help but just become cynical, bitter, and honestly, I'm just sad. I don't hold grudges when friendships disappear, but I get sad. I'm done depending on others to be happy. I know this is not a good way of thinking and it's going to sound sad, but why should I bother being there for others if no one's ever been there for me? I remember I sat in the parking lot of school and just cried for 30 minutes (I had bottled everything up, and it all just got out.) I cleaned myself up, and literally went to class a few minutes after bawling my eyes out. I remember sitting in class, hearing people greet and hug each other and I'm just there, and no one knew how sad and alone I felt in that moment.
That FWB situation really messed me up emotionally. I didn't know I could feel empty, sad, and lonely lying next to a girl I had just had sex with because she didn't like the idea of being close and cuddling with someone she just met, but having sex was no problem (I really don't understand hook-up culture.) I remember I was drinking with that girl, and when I get drunk, I get sad and I open up about things I keep bottled up, well, she didn't really make an effort to be there and when I texted her about it the day after she said "It's not my fault you got sad, cried, and got into your own feelings, it's not on me to comfort you." so yeah, after that I guess that's why I'm done opening up and everyone I talk to I just don't put effort in anymore, I just feel too broken at this point. This was a month ago so it's still a bit fresh.
Honestly, I know I have a lot to work on before I get in a relationship and I need to fix the relationship with myself first, I just really wish I had someone sweet, caring, and loving to hold me close, kiss me, and tell me I matter, that I'm enough, and worthy of being happy. I honestly just want to give up. I haven't been hugged in so long and I feel that if a girl held me close and told me all that, I'd break down and cry. I guess it all goes back to wanting that motherly figure that I feel I don't have, to be cared for, praised, all those things.
I'm sorry this was so long, I just really needed to put this somewhere. Thanks, if you made it all the way through. I'm off to bed because I stayed up and it's 7 am, I work tonight.

1.Do you have mini-rituals before starting to work? Do you turn on music or is it important for you to sit in silence to immerse yourself in the world of Astraea and come up with new interesting plot twists?
Before work, I walk the dog and drink coffee) I prefer silence.
2.What did you do before joining the Romance Club team?
Before joining the Romance Club team, I worked as a narrative designer.
3. Have you made mood boards? Did you guide the artists and show examples of buildings/rooms/clothing, etc., or did you leave a lot to their will?
Visual examples, text descriptions - all this is part of our work. This is how technical specifications are drawn up. But it is only a direction followed by the artist's long journey. And very often the result turns out to be even better than I had in my head.
4.Which of the screenwriters do you keep in touch with, besides Alice?
We communicate very closely with Alexandra, the author of “Requiem.” We came to the Kyrgyz Republic almost at the same time, we both fell under Alice's wing, so we are walking side by side. She is wonderful and I worry about her story just as much as I worry about mine
5.Which view do you adhere to more in life: Is there something otherworldly or do you explain it more with logic?
I don't believe in the other world. But I'm ready to change my mind if I ever encounter something surprising.
6. Do you plan to reveal your appearance to players? And will you share the processes of creating scenes/cuts, etc.?
I don't plan to reveal my appearance
I will definitely try to share the processes of creating characters, cut scenes, etc.!
7. Is it difficult to write your first story and especially write down those moments that should be connected in future episodes?
As in any job: there are plenty of nuances. But what you see in the final is worth any effort and difficulty
8.Are you going through your own story and who are you planning to go along the branch with?
Yes, of course) While I haven't decided on the branch, I'm taking improvements from everyone.
9. How many seasons are you planning for your novel?
3 seasons are planned.
10. Will there be new characters as love interests? Or maybe there will be another female branch?
I'm afraid this is a spoiler
11. When will the branches be closed?
Not planned yet. Play calmly
12. In what year do the events of the story take place?
Events take place around our time.
13. Mikael said “Our Father” when mentioning the situation with Raphael. Is this "Father" a patron? Or someone else? Will this be mentioned further in the story?
Of course, we will definitely find out who their father is
14.Will they show the occult symbol that was found in the last update?
Yes, we will show the symbol a little later.
15. The main character's wardrobe looks unreal! Tell me, what inspires you when creating images for Audrey?
Thank you!We try to stick to the classics, like all Astrea employees
16.How much will stats influence Audrey's future worldview and the novel itself as a whole?
Stats affect not only her worldview, but also her character. And they, of course, will influence the finale.
17.Will any other stats and other paths not related to the character of the main character be added in the future?
No, there will be no more stats. But different endings will also depend on certain choices.
18. What are the favorite zodiac signs? — How old are each of the characters? — What is the height of each of the favorites?
I will answer these questions in more detail. We will prepare questionnaires for you or something like that
19. Will we be able to match the characters?
To be honest, there were no such thoughts. But I was very curious, who would you like to set our characters up with?
20.Which character is closest to your character and why?
Probably Mikael. He and I are both workaholics and it's hard for me, like him, to get emotional
21. In the update, almost all the choices with the guys were for romance. Is it possible to make paid friendship elections in order to get to know them better, but not make your main LI jealous?
So far, nothing fatal has happened in story. In the future, the paths of friendship and romance will differ more clearly.
22. Will we dress up our favorites?
We will
23. Also about the topic of family. From Audrey we already learn a lot about her parents. This topic is well raised in the disclosure of the MC itself. But will the theme with the favorites' parents also be revealed?
We will learn about the past of all our heroes. And we'll raise the topic with our parents, too, if it plays an important role for them, as, for example, it did for Audrey herself.
24. How was David created?
David was created easily. He had a lot of prototypes, which makes it difficult to single out just one.
Initially, he was conceived as a big rake, but as the chapters were written, the character himself made adjustments to his character
25. What about David's past relationships? Did they exist and if so, will you talk about it in the novel? Overall, is he ready for a serious relationship?
Whether he will be ready for a serious relationship depends on you and your choices
26. Why does David call Audrey “witch”?
Probably because she bewitched him
27. Has Mikael ever had a serious relationship in the past? It seems that it is in terms of serious love relationships that it is extremely difficult to hook him! It's like he's so inaccessible)
It seems to me that the players of the RC took even those who were not so inaccessible)) The main thing is not to lose hope!
28. What is Felonia's sexuality? Has she been in relationships with girls/boys before?
I think for Fel, the main thing is the person, not their gender.
29. About Cassiel: Will he show gentleness instead of the usual barbness?
Here everything depends on your choices) Everything is in your hands!
30. How was Raphael created? Who were you inspired by and are there any prototypes?
Raphael, by the way, is the only character who has only one prototype. To avoid spoilers, for now I can tell you that this is a character from the book. Perhaps after the first season, when the character is revealed more, I will share the name) And perhaps someone will guess it now
31. We have already learned that Ruth is quite close to Audrey. We also agreed to meet with her. She is somewhat important in the plot and perhaps a branch is planned with her?
She's important to the plot, but there won't be a branch with her
32. We could see the Wolf in the opening animation. How important is this animal in the plot and, perhaps, we can become its owner? According to the type of pet for the MC. Or is the Wolf not as simple as we think and hides within himself something more than an ordinary beast?
Yes, of course, the wolf is important to the plot. It will open additional scenes and become a good friend for him

F21
I have to share because it's so surreal.
I've been dating this guy for some time (~6ish months) and everything was going fine. For context, we began our relationship shortly after I ended a 2-year commitment with someone else and even told this guy (let's call him John) I wasn't ready for a new relationship- but accepted to be with him anyway, because I never learned how to be alone. Our plan was to break up in July, since I am moving for college and he will be moving to Estonia for school as well (Euro-wannabe spoiler).
Along the time of our relationship I realized John and I had almost nothing in common, particularly regarding our beliefs. I am F21, non-religious, pro-choice, lgbtq and just generally open minded. He was raised catholic and maintained his faith, wore crosses, and would pray before every meal. He was also a European wannabe, talking about Europe all the time and telling stories of his many trips (coming from a wealthy family, he's done some traveling). I didn't mind these things, but knew he was not the person for me.
Fast forward to last week. Because of life circumstances, about a year ago I ended up living in a 2Bed 1 Bath with a good friend of mine that is in his 30s, a friend whom I had known for a couple years before living together. He was the ideal roommate and friend, very clean, organized, honest. Totally platonic. We got along great, and he and John became friendly as well. About a month ago, my roommate decided he was going to do a seasonal job for the summer- and he was leaving in exactly one month. I was quite sad to find this out, but since I am moving for college in the fall I understood he just needed a head start. During that last month of him being here we made it a point to hang out, finish the TV series we had been watching, and just enjoy each other's company.
6 days before he left, we hugged goodnight for a little too long and it quickly turned into us hooking up that night. I will pause here to be a total hedonist. The sex was amazing.
We continued to have sex until he left. During this time I saw John once but didn't have sex with him, and lied about the whole thing (hiding is lying, right?). Anyway, my roommate and I continued because it was too good not to, and it seemed like a good way to end an era. On the last night, he mentioned something about the situation being unusual and said "I feel like a hypocrite, because I respect your game... but I also hate it"
That should have tipped me off, now that I think of it.
My roommate drove away one morning, with all his belongings in his car and a kiss on the lips. I had John over that evening, since it had been a while since last we saw each other. We smoked, watched tv, cooked, talked. We did all the things. Slept on the bed, which he routinely sweat on/theough the sheets. Got up at... you guessed it! 5am. John works at a grocery store and starts early. And the first thing he says to me is: "Hey babe? Your roommate texted me. He says you cheated on me."
I am guilty. I checked my texts, and sure enough my roommate had texted me that he couldn't believe just 8 hours after he left I needed to be with "someone I didn't even like" and that he was temped to tell John so that he would stop wasting his time. And he did.
I want to acknowledge that John is a good guy, be it as it may, and he did not get physically or verbally abusive at all. Coming from abusive relationships, that was a shock and made me feel even worse. On one side, I know that what John and I had happened to work for the both of us (he doesn't have a car, so I gave him rides to places, and he wanted company, which I also did) but I also know telling him right away would have been a better choice than hiding my actions.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Scaredoflove11
Rebuttal by u/Roeapparently
AITA for asking my friends what flavor their wedding cake is?
Originally posted to AmItheAsshole
Thanks to u/czechtheboxes & u/USMCLee for suggesting this BoRU
Original Post May 11, 2024
I (22f) am in the wedding party of my friends we will call Em(25f) and Roe(25m) who will be getting married in about 2 months. I have been really excited for the wedding since it'll be an opportunity for all the friends from college to get together for the first time in 2 years. Not to mention Em and Roe are my best friends, or at least I thought they were.
We have a discord for all the wedding stuff and they have a channel about food. They've been really good about being open about the food they intend to have at the reception including vegan/vegitarian/gluten free options for everyone and answering questions so I didn't think there would be any contention if I asked a question.
Anyway, about 4 days ago I posted a message into the discord asking "Hey, what flavor is the cake gonna be? I wanna mentally prepare myself lol." I think looking back my choice of extra words is what caused all this, but I meant it in the sense that I have a long documented dislike of chocolate flavored foods like cake or ice cream. So I added it in the event the cake was chocolate.
I recieved a private message back that the cake would be chocolate and that if I had a problem with it then I could "shove it" cause it was their wedding not mine. And i felt really taken aback by this response.
Never did I mention that I would have been upset and I certainly wouldn't have put up a stink about it. Its exactly like Em had said, it's their wedding. I explained as much and tried to apologize for any offending I did but she got even more defensive and started basically blasting me for implying that she was offended and I was just left overall very confused.
I gave it two days before I tried to apologize again and smooth it over figuring she may have just been having a bad day but I got shut down again telling me she didn't need my apology cause nothing was wrong and I needed time stop trying to make it seem like shit was wrong between us and to just drop it.
I texted Roe to see if I could gauge what was going on since he and I have always had an open dialogue about things like this but he basically just told me he couldn't talk to me right now and I have to imagine its cause Em told him not to.
Its been 2 days since then and I'm just really confused. This whole thing has made me want to drop out of the wedding party and honestly not go at all. I wish Roe would talk to me and Em would be honest. I can't help but think maybe I just don't get how stressful planning a wedding is and like maybe theyve gotten pushback from other people on other things and somehow its being taken out on me? Or is it really a big no no to ask stuff like this? I don't know? This is the first wedding i'll have ever gone to, so am I the asshole?
VERDICT: ASSHOLE
In the comments "Roe" appears
Roe is u/Roeapparently
Here May 11, 2024
Hey Izzy. Not surprised you didn’t share the whole story. You never do. Just like last year’s surprise party for Em (tldr: Izzy here spoiled the surprise and tried to claim my present was hers).
I’m “Roe”, the groom to be. I don’t do Reddit, but my best man does and frequents this thread. He saw this post and it was so obvious it’s you. This whole cake thing did happen but it is NOT the whole story and did NOT go the way Izzy claims.
First off, cake was not her only complaint. You refused to have a joint bachelobachelorette dinner cause “I have poor taste”, you said my suit was tacky cause I wanted white and not traditional black, you whined about the bridesmaids dresses being purple cause you wanted Ivory. Any decision we’ve made there’s ALWAYS a complaint. And Em has done nothing but be patient and try and find common ground. She should not have to change her wedding choices for you.
Second, we NEVER told you to “shove it”. Em only messaged you privately because she was tired of having to argue in the group chat. Everyone else is tired of your bullshit too so we didn’t want to bother them with it. It’s a cake. Eat it or don’t.
You have hated me ever since I joined the friend group. And that’s fine! But you will NOT ruin Em’s day because of your pettiness. If you care about her, then honor her decisions. Of COURSE Em is different! Cause she grew tf up! All of us did except you! My god you’re fucking 22, stop acting like a spoiled teenager, chocolate cake will not kill you (btw asshole I’m 26 not 25, pay attention). I wasn’t angry about this until you decided to go to the internet for pity. It’s pathetic and immature.
For the record, Em double checked my response. She signed off on it. Get it together.
OOP

Its pathetic and immature to anonymously post asking for advice on Reddit but you coming here starting shit and posting my real name isn't? Okay, Marcus, since we're not hiding anymore how does it feel to have your shit aired for real? Here's how I KNOW Em didn't sign off, becuase she never would have agreed to using my real name.
You're just trying to get me upset at her too. She's my best friend, and I should have known you'd do this. You always try to manipulate us into being mad at each other. Case in point when I had planned this really awesome dinner for just her and I and you had to plan her suprise party for the same day. I just wanted alone time with my best friend but you couldn't wait one day for the party.
Em has known me far longer than you, and no offense, I'm sure I know her better than you do. But I've kept my mouth shut because I love her and just want her to be happy.
I complain about everything? Then how come I've never said anything about the hundreds of times you've made Em cancel plans with me to go hang out with you? I just wanted my bff to spend a little time with me. We're not allowed to have sleepovers anymore cause it "makes you uncomfy" or take a girls trip for the weekend because "too expensive". Sorry you can't take care of her like I can. Some of us can afford rent. Clearly this was never about the cake and more so about you hating me. I was fine when you joined the friend group, but you clearly weren't fine with mine and Ems relationship. You've been the same towards some of her other friends who I'm sure would agree.
Get a life Marcus. Stop trying to take mine.

Roeapparently

She was fine using your name. You brought this to the internet, not us. If you didn't want this attention, don't post.
The plan was for you to distract her while we setup the party by taking her to a movie, not going to the movies then taking her to dinner and TELLING HER OF THE PARTY. We waited hours expecting y'all to be back.
I have never once made Em cancel. She always did that on her own, and not frequently at all. You have had plenty of time alone with her. Just because she spends time with me too doesn't mean I'm forcing her to. And yes, a trip to multiple countries across Europe is very much too expensive. We already live paycheck to paycheck, which you know. I know money isn't a concern for you but it very much is for us. Not all of us have apartments paid for by dad.
Nobody else seems to think the same things about me, and if I'm wrong I will gladly listen and change. But that requires communication directly, not anonymous Reddit posts. You may have known her longer, but you clearly don't know Em well. You fail to see how miserable your comments and attitude have made her these past few months. For her sake, knock it off.

OOP

"Paid by daddy" real mature asshole. You know I work hard like everyone else. Its not my fault my parents made better decisions than yours and can actually help their kids. And of course I wasn't just gonna take her to the movies on her birthday a rouse or not it was still her birthday and shes my friend and I love her and wanted her to an actually decent meal other than the shitty pizza you bought for her.
Also yeah maybe you didn't tell Em to cancel, but knowingly asking for plans when we had them is basically the same thing. Before you, she was fine. She had everything she needed. And for all of you in the comments saying I have a crush or want to fuck Em, you're delusional and know nothing about me. We're best friends. I love her. She loves me. Not my fault we have natural chemistry that everyone over the internet can feel. But its not like that.
Marcus you're an asshole. You've been an asshole since day one. Just admit you're not the guy who can give her what she needs and move the fuck on and leave us alone.

~
MHH370

Hey u/Scaredoflove11 did you really make a fuss because you wanted the bridemaid's dress to be ivory instead of purple?

Also u/Roeapparently did you really make your fiance cancel sleepovers because it made you uncomfortable?

Roeapparently

No. I never made Em cancel anything. I'm fine with her having sleepovers. Izzy wanted to do it at our apartment and kept begging Em to have me sleep on the couch so I wouldn't ruin "girls night". For the record, Em shut it down not me. She's capable of making her own decisions, I trust her to set her boundaries. If I came off as uncomfortable, Izzy never mentioned it till now

ImissBagels

Does Em even still want Izzy there? Because Izzy is sounding more and more unhinged. How did she try to steal your bday present to Izzy?

Roeapparently

Em still wants Izzy there. they've been friends for years. I won't make her kick her out, but I'm starting to reach the point where I want it. And no she didn't steal it. She claimed she purchased the gift cause "i was too poor to afford it". It was a rather expensive purse Em eyed once while shopping but couldn't get at the time, so I saved for it.

FINAL COMMENT BY u/Roeapparently

You're proving my point. I'm not gonna argue over Reddit anymore over this, especially if you're gonna talk about my parents like that when you know full well why they aren't rich. Either message us in private or drop it all together. If this is how you really feel, don't bother coming to the wedding.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
**DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS

I (18m) was openly adopted at birth. That means I grew up having visits with my birth family but I was raised by my parents and alongside my five siblings. I love my family. My parents are amazing and I'm so glad they had the chance to raise me. I'm also tight with my siblings and we grew up very very close. Two of us had contact with our birth families while the others did not.
My relationship with my birth family is difficult. My birth parents had a child less than a year after me and they kept her. They kept their son a year after her as well and a few years later they had two more kids. It always made me feel weird as a kid. I went through a period where I was jealous and upset that I was given up but the others weren't and then my birth parents would sometimes make me feel like I should be calling them mom and dad, which I never did. After a few years I stopped enjoying the visits with them but everyone around us said it was beneficial to me, and maybe in some ways it was.
Today the relationship is stressful and nothing else. Especially with my birth siblings. They are crazy jealous of my siblings. They want us to be closer than we are and they want us to be closer than my siblings I was raised with. They also talk about "our parents" when they mean their parents and when I correct them they tell me "our parents" are my real parents and I always belonged to them. It's worse with the two who are so close in age to me because they expect a really deep bond between the three of us and they expected me to move in with them a few times. I remember during one of my birth family's visits, my birth siblings saw me and two of my siblings goofing off as we were walking home and my birth family pulled over and asked me if I wanted a ride with them. My siblings were right there and were ignored and because I said no, the older two birth siblings called me on it after and said I never hang out with them like that and why do I act like "those guys" are my real siblings and not them. I said because my siblings are my real siblings and I have been raised with them my whole life and will always have a tighter bond with them. Cue the "it's not fair" shit.
With graduation this year I made a decision. I spoke to my parents about it first. They were supportive and I think a little sad that my ongoing relationship with my birth family was in such a bad state. Then I told my birth parents. Birth family were not invited and would not get tickets. I felt it was for the best. My birth family are so angry and it's been weeks since I first brought it up. My birth parents are saying my parents went back on the open adoption but that no longer means anything because I make the decisions now. But the whole thing is such a clusterfuck and I keep getting texts and stuff from them and my birth siblings about how shitty I'll be for not inviting them and how they should be there over my family.
AITA?

eFootball gameplay seem to be going in a bad direction for the past months. To much AI defending/assistance/game balancing, game adding input lag, interceptions, poor passing, fouls not called for, hot potato football not rewarding any type of skillful play. The gameplay feels like its on rails, freedom is gone, players don't respond to your inputs and chances are created by either teams AI players mistakes or incredibly stupid runs. It's just not fun to play anymore. Neither online or vs AI.
eFootball could be fantastic if Konami would listen to ideas, criticism and improve. Here is my wishlist. Feedback based on me and the kids playing on PS4, PS5 and mobile. Offline and online.

1. Reduce the heavy AI assistance / game-balancing / handholding / Auto defending / Dynamic Difficulty / momentum / whatchamacallit (scr...). I understand its for getting new players staying in the game, having a chance getting coins in the events and winning games. And perhaps make games more non-predictable "anything can happen, maybe". With the current AI handholding level its "anything will happen, constantly". So many chances are created by either teams AI players making mistakes or just making incredibly stupid runs, its like a badly scripted B-movie. The amount of goalpost hits and missed open goals is just silly currently, this goes on until the last few minutes of each match. Please reduce it, or even remove it from Co-op and other game modes where skill should be rewarded. I'd rather get smashed 15-0 and learn from a good player. Than having to play another game with: added input lag and your players turn, react with 0,5 sec delay / 1 team loses every header / 4 shots in goalpost / own goals / missed open goals from 2-3m consequently, instead you have to run the ball into goal!!! / hide n seek players with pass receiver running away from the ball positioning behind defender / every ball intercepted / misdirected passes / every pass straight to other team / passes goes through "invisible" player / player freezing or even running wrong direction vs your stick / opponent attacking with high punt or lofted pass but your defender running past the ball towards opposition goal / ball glued to opposite player in the box / every attempt clearing the ball goes short distance straight to other team, even goalie high punt / all stunning shots 3m over the goal before 85min + all the other crap that's in there. This gameplay on rails is so unrewarding. If I manage to do something skillfull the AI assistance just kills the opportunity with any means. When the AI assistance takes a break, I get an easy goal with no effort from a random through pass + tap in. Many times I can't tell if I am playing well or the game has decided I should win/lose, it kills the joy for me and it's just boring. If Konami could tone down all the weird punishments I'd be very grateful.
2. Passing and interceptions. Currently worst ever IMO. Game just decides your pass from a player in balance is 90-180 degrees of straight to opponent. Even on Beginner AI and no matter PA1, 2 or 3😂 And the constant interceptions. No flow in the game. Please work on this Konami.
3. Remove the artificial input-lag. (This is a controversial one, some players simply don't believe our experience it. For me it's obvious as it can be tested offline in several ways on PS5, on mobile I havent tried to confirm it) Stop punishing one side with artificial input lag which make the gameplay feel heavy, unresponsive and your players turn & react with 0,5 sec delay. This is not from server lag as it's there in AI matches and local Trial matches as well, just switch controller between team 1 & 2 and feel the difference. It might activate from beginning of game, or in 2nd half, usually when you are doing well. And vice versa it can dissapear in 2nd half. From my experience it can be reduced or removed by switching playstyle. When finding the right playstyle for that specific match, your players suddenly become responsive again, it can even happen after switching to lowest Manager profiency. I assume its part of the game balancing mechanics. For me this is one of the worst things in the current game, when it kicks in your players don't respond to inputs in time and gameplay just feels awful.
4. Fix the player freezing. Example: after losing a header to last defender suddenly your attacker just freezes. What's going on here? Have Konami added to much AI handholding and broken the game? 😂😂😂
5. Reward different playstyles like build up play. Currently most games seem to be high press, interception ping-pong, quick pass and no dribbles. Hot potato football. Holding the ball has become very difficult. Before the AI assistance and auto defending went berzerk, you could actually keep the ball for a second and do something creative. Without 3-5 guys surrounding your player with no options. Now the gameplay is boring with the lack of variety.
6. Create a game mode free from AI assistance & artificial input lag. Just pure skill. It could be beta, division free or whatever just let us play without the heavy AI handholding. And maybe eFootball will be esports ready 😉. To be honest if another football game is released without momentum/game-balancing /added input-lag and with gameplay based on pure skill. I think eFootball will lose a lot of players.
7. Add Dream team into Trial match. We have 2 kids who love the card collecting and building their team. But playing online is of no interest to them, and won't be in many years. They want to play local PvP or co-op but with their own Dream team. By now we are very tired of playing the same local play Trial match Argentina Vs PSG. The kids have almost stopped playing eFootball, since they cant play against each other with their own team. In addition this would be a great way to test out new players, builds and game mechanics together with a friend. Much more fun than training mode. This mode is what my family is missing most from this game. And if it would be a "pure" mode without any momentum/game-balancing things would be fantastic. Just pure skill, best player wins.
8. Please add Dream team to Trial match local co-op Vs AI. Would be so much fun to test your Dream Team against the AI together with the kids or a friend on the couch beside you. Would love this mode if it would become available.
9. Add local co-op in Events. Would be great if me and the kids could take on the events together. At least add it to the AI events. Then we would actually play them and not just sim them.
10. Myleague local co-op. Add both local and online co-op into Myleague please. A reason to play it and win the league together with the kids 😀
11. Make My League worth playing. 100.000GP for completing 38 matches and winning the league is very poor IMO. Add some skill trainers and raise the GP perhaps?
12. Add all Goal Scorers, Assists and Passes made to Half Time and Full Time game stats. So we can quickly get the overview of which player cards performed well in both teams. That information would be highly appreciated.
13. Contract renewal is way too expensive. Considering many players have paid plenty in real money to get the favourite players, and you only get to keep your player for 1 year. We are paying for this digital football Pokémon and we can't even use it as long as we would like. There should be more ways to get contract renewals, the periods should be longer, 3/6/9/12months and the price should be lower. Currently it's just irritating and another killing the fun factor.
14. Make each playstyle worth using. And reward playing different type of formations. Instead of everyone using META 4 defenders and no wingers/LMF/RMF.
15. Better & more expensive Point shop players. Can we please have some decent players? I'd gladly spend 50000-100000 pink points for a player if his stats are good. IMO there hasn't been an interesting player since Ferrer & Pires. Currently I don't see any use for points except contact renewal.
16. Remove the GP cost for player reset. Having to wait for 2-3 months and then stressing for a few free weeks to retrain and test new builds doesn't make sense. GP is too valuable for me, I use it for Legacy Transfer and Contract renewal, and the few occasional GP buys for Events or hidden gems. I enjoy training players and trying out new builds, if free it would keep me logging in even when there is nothing else to do in the game.
17. Reduce the cost for Legacy transfer. Getting your wanted skills and then transferring to your favourite player is one of the game aspects I really like. But 257,000 GP for one transfer is a lot and takes away much of the fun in Legacy transfer. You get 1 Mbappe for less than 2 Legacy transfer. I am always low on GP these days, and I think 100,000-150,000 GP would be reasonable for Legacy transfer for 1 skill.
18. Legacy transfer of skills to POTW cards. If we could add 1-2 skills to the POTW the cards would be more interesting and I'd spend more coins spinning. We would get more varied and unpredictable squads instead of everybody using the same players. Most players know the good cards, what to expect from opponents cards and how to counter. Lets say you add some strong passing or shooting skills to a player usually weak in that aspect. The unpredicability would be awesome!
19. Replace/delete added skills. Building players would be much more fun if I could replace a trained skill with another one using legacy transfer. Or just be able to delete an added skill. Perhaps my playstyle changes and I want Neymar to have Through passing instead of the previously added Long-range shooting.
20. GP an option for pack spins. But it shouldn't be easy. Hard grind should be rewarded as it gives a reason to play the game. I am thinking 7,5M GP you get 75 spins in a 150 pack. That takes perhaps 6 months to grind. And perhaps the remaining 75 spins is coins only. Lower thresholds like 10 spins för 1M GP would be great but I understand its not gonna happen, as it would hurt the coin sales.
21. Remove the 500 player cap or reduce cost of adding player slots. If you are grinding skill trainers with 0GP players and training players the 500 fills up quite easily. Or reduce the 500.000GP for an extra 50 players to maybe 100.000GP. This 500 player limit is very annoying and seems unnecessary.
22. Add skill trainers and position trainers to each match pass. Would make the Match Pass way more interesting and I would spend coins.
23. Make it worthwhile playing League / divisions. Currently I don't see much reason to play it. A few skill trainers and low GP reward can't motivate me spending the time.
24. Find a way to prevent players from forfeiting games, at least events and co-op. Maybe if you are down a few goals sometimes add a random bonus like score with player X to receive 1 skill trainer, 10000 GP or something. Just to motivate players completing the match. Or create a non forfeit streak, like 10, 20 or 30 games without forfeit and you get an free extra POTW spin. (Credit: Part of this idea is from eFootball Universe Youtube)
25. 1st celebration should also be skippable. It's just time consuming in online games. Not adding any value to except maybe noobs who scored their first goal ever.
26. An option to make Sub tactic clearly visible in Game plan if activated. I played to many games now without knowing I had sub-tactic activated 😂
27. Matchmaking. This was good for a while after the matchmaking update, but not anymore. There must be something seriously wrong here. When playing in Division 9 to 7, we constantly get division 1-2 opponents in the events. Had top 120 and top 200 in a row even. 750M downloads and nobody else playing. Really?
28. The daily penalty needs an upgrade. Suggestion: More fun If I could choose player from my Dream Team. And add random Epic goalies to spice it up 😉
29. Add statistics of headers, penalties and free kicks scored on each player card. This would add value and make it more interesting building squads. Konami you have the data, use it!
30. More variety in Events. BBVA, Turkish, Brazilian Italian, English, Japan league. Over and over and over... Cmon Konami create something different so we can rotate our squads more. Suggestion: An event where only max 4 star players are allowed? Or higher GP rewards the weaker squad you use? (Credit: idea is partly from Rockchok Youtube)
31. More Beat the Clock type of events. Both me and the kids enjoyed this one. Create something similar for skill moves. Example: Perform 5 Double touch + 5 Marseille turn across pitch with fixed dummies or defending players. Or a sequence where you have to perform skill move x and y before scoring.
32. Objectives with extra bonuses. Add weekly objectives or similar. Score a hat-trick, win on penalties or score 5 times using skill move. And get some type of rewards, GP, Skill trainers, Position trainers, avatars, whatever just variety and something to play for.
33. Co-op events. So much potential but the gameplay on rails, AI assistance and the constant random AI punishments kills the fun for me. You feel almost instantly if the AI assistance is on your side or against you. Either everything goes your way and it's too easy or Epics can't make a simple pass, the input lag kicks in and your player is even dragged out of position so the other team can score. Every game feels pre-decided with almost every touch being a mistake or fumble by the team who is supposed to concede a goal. Or its 1 goal back and forth with short sequences where the conceeding team can't touch the ball. In my experience the AI assistance is at its worst in the Co-op games. Quite easy to spot as players regularly just drop the controller. And game continues to auto defend like prime AC Milan, the non-active player is forcefielded holding the ball, every ball in the box is magically sucked to defenders feet and passes and clearings going 90-180 degrees off straight to opponent. Recent example which has happened in several co-op games: Goalie makes several stupid run outs to a perfect 4 man defending line, leaving the net wide open. Changing goalie doesn't help. Same thing with 2nd goalie until opponent gets his 2 goals. Sorry but when my player, gameplay and result is controlled by AI instead of me and my teammate I lose interest.
34. Add 2nd local player to co-op events. Why can't 2 players join the co-op events together from one Playstation? Me and the kids would play co-op events a lot if this was possbile.
35. Booster player forms. Wirtz card and several other are never on A-form. Whats the point of creating a booster card then? (credit: PES Pepe Youtube)
36. Communication. Info on gameplay changes in each update would be appreciated. Like before. (credit: PES Pepe Youtube))
37. Heavy first touch or fumble receiving the ball. +90 Ball control player cant receive a pass without starting to fumble or needing several seconds to gain control, then losing the ball, again and again and again. Does stats even matter when game balancing just decides anyway?
38. Don't launch Crossplay with mobile. I suspect the recent braindead heavy assisted gameplay is needed for upcoming crossplay console & mobile update. This might be what we are getting. Gameplay on rails, autodefend, no skill, unrewarding, boring. I hope I am wrong and the previous fun gameplay on console is not gone forever 😢.
39. Master League? Promised some years ago. I guess it does not generate enough coin sales?
40. Edit mode. Create a custom crest and kits for our dream team.
41. AI games are boring and inconsistent. Even on easier difficulties the dynamic game balancing makes you miss so many chances in 1st half, open goals whatever. Then in 2nd its just walk the ball into box and quick shot goal. But if you decide to pass the ball in the box then it's magnet to defender, why not reward passing in the box? The inconsistency in the AI is just bad. And the coding seems lazy. I watch our 11 year old play and do all the right things, but the game just kills all her self-created chances. On harder difficulties even if I read the play and position perfectly to intercept a pass, the pass goes straight through my defender. And adding to that the constant interceptions and not being able to hold ball more than 0.3sec. To my understanding the AI was better before without having to bypass game mechanics (cheat), instead it was actually playing smarter. For me playing the AI is either to easy once the early game "Thou shall not score" wears off or just boring on higher difficulties. How hard is it to develop AI gameplay which is both fun, rewarding and teaching how to play better?
42. Player speed is broken. The slowest defender will catch up in 2-3 seconds with any attacker running with the ball. No matter stats of players. You make a great pass but this broken game mechanic ruins the opportunity. This is both unrealistic and highly unrewarding.
43. Player switching. Another game mechanic which seems broken and with hidden punishments added. I have mostly been using semi-assist and player oriented switching, R stick to switch. Recently switched to ball-oriented. And in my experience. When the game is against you, it constantly punishes you with bad player switching and worst default player selection. Many times the game refuses to switch to player in front of ball when I am trying to defend. Instead I am flicking through the guys behind the attacking player, while I am trying to get control of my defender. When I have free kick against me, default player is always the worst possible option eg. my CF standing 10m behind the free kick taker. Why? I enjoy a challenge but having to fight with my controller is not one of them.
44. Sort player list by team name. Would help when choosing team for events. And a nice feature when browsing all my players.
45. Position trainers. This feature was a nice addition. But can be improved and made more interesting. (A) Remove the possibility of getting duplicates on full position slots. It's just stupid and annoying. (B) Add random playstyle rewards on the new position. So an AMF Hole Player could also be SS Deep Lying Forward after Position training. (Credit: efNuts YouTube)

Some of these are cosmetics and should be quite easy to implement, whereas others like new type of events takes more effort. Dream team in Trial mode and adding already existing local Co-op to more events/game modes shouldn't be that difficult. Gameplay affecting changes are likely hard and need to be tested so it doesn't affect game in a negative way.
I guess Konami calculates profits are better by pushing all players to online play. But at the same time they are neglecting the player group which prefers offline, and are willing to buy coins to get their favourite players cards. Hopefully Konami will reconsider, add a proper Master League and more offline modes with co-op and PvP.
All in all it should result in a more enjoyable experience for both ballers, casuals, squad-builders, card-collectors and those who just want offline couch co-op or PvP with their Dream team. More people having fun and spending time in the game usually results in praise, recommendations and growing user count = more coins spent. Konami keeps earning and customer base is happy. Everyone wins.
/ Cheers and thanks for reading
(This post is continously edited)
https://preview.redd.it/k4gl1sw8z51d1.jpg?width=731&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e99aba57f1ea3678f5d722365604e52ec97edfb4

It's a situation I've had yesterday, and bits of leftovers from my previous people-pleasing self that I'm wearing off my character slowly with hard work:
Yesterday I was in a supermarket and stood in line. I was the first and had about 20 things, and a guy came with his kid, he's had about 7-8 things. So I said go on, he was thankful.
Then another guy came by, had 5-6 things in his hands, but walked slower than another woman approaching the cashier. She's had one thing, in her hands. I said "go on" and she said "no that's fine I'll wait" (forgot to mention there was only one cash position open). I insisted and said "go on that's fine you've got one thing" and she insisted even more "don't worry dude it's totally okay! Go on it's your turn".
Now in my past I did have a situation with that guy next to me (not personally him, but a similar situation) where a man like that would say "but what about me? Don't you wanna let me pass you through? I'm passing through" and forcefully took my turn in the line.
This time it didn't happen, but I had this in mind:
Are you that selfish that you think of yourself over me being good to others? To that man I wanted to let pass me out of the goodness of my heart, that woman had only one product, and out of the goodness of my heart I wanted to let her pass me too. To you I owe nothing, to anybody else I owe nothing. Stay out of business that aren't yours and get out of my line"
And some of you might think "you're a hero only behind the keyboard"

1. That's not the point, and I did have situations like that in my recent years and I did stand for myself a couple times.
2. That's the mindset that's needing to be applied. You'll learn at least I hope, that healing from your pains, killing the disease to please, would come by a mindset change.

It's all about your mind, it's about how you value yourself.
I'll tell you this to sum it all up:
In my experience, the way to stop past pains, hurts, is beyond complex, but the major part of summing it would be a mindset change. Once you understand who you are, discovering yourself, once you understand that most people out there won't care for you, but wanna step on you to gain their own goodness out of you, and once you learn how to protect yourself, and realize you're not alone - you'll be able to change, kill the disease to please others, be able to be more of an adult, responsible, protectice, and when you wanna do a good deed?
It'd come out of your heart, not from the disease to please.
It's a long battle I've been dealing with for above 10 years, the whole mindset topic I'm on about, and while it is true that you care less about what other people think of you the more you age, I'll finish with this statement because it really is true, and knowledge, wisdom are so important.
The only thing worth getting old for is growing in wisdom.
So keep fighting, don't give up to your fears, unbearable situations. You're never ever alone. There always will be somebody who'd care for you out there, I can guarantee that.
You're loved.

For whatever reason I never did the bonus content after my first playthrough, finished up a second last night and decided to finally knock it out. Thought it was pretty interesting because the obvious answer is Clulex 3D, but honestly I felt like the mechanics in his fight were the easiest to work around once you understood it. Basically you can chump it out as long as your move on "1" is to move peach to the back row, and cycle people out to keep a decently full roster. On the flip side some of the other fights presented what I thought were bigger challenges.
From easiest to hardest, here's my rankings -
Jinx - So this one may just wind up to how I set up gear, but I'd say this was probably the least engaging of any of the fights I ran through last night. My typical setup is Mario/Mallow/Peach, with quartz charm on mallow and jinx belt on peach, which already negates a lot of the OHKO moves that Jinx is famous for. We did run into some issues because my lineup was set for opening against clulex instead of jinx cause I'm smart (rip Geno), but once we got on track it just became a run of staying patient to get my gauge back up. Got it first try.
Booster - Can't lie, I did die the first time after booster finished his train set, which made me giggle a bit. Unfortunately after that the fight was fairly straightforward. Once you figure out "yeah, hit booster to knock him out of it" then there's not much to figure out. AOE attacks with Mallow take out the snifits relatively easy, Mario is on bonk the weirdo duty. Still more fun than Jinx though.
Cake - Kind of the same, made harder by just the sheer mass of aoe stunlocks/etc. Booster and Cake could basically be interchangable except it's occasionally better to swap a hitter in for peach for a turn to avoid a candle lighting and Bowser just spamming A tends to be better than mallow.
Punchinello - This is where I think we start getting into the actual interesting ones, because honest to god this is probably the longest it took me to get "the gimmick" of out of all the fights. Like an embarrassingly long time, and boy, those bombs hit hard. After I got it though I think it might be my favorite fight here? There's a lot of nitpicky strategy about what bombs to hit and how to keep everyone healthy if you don't time a block right. Really dug this one.
Belome - This might be so high just because it's the first fight you do and it really sets the stage for "ho boy, it's going down". Like punchy above it took me a minute to understand the clone makes him immune to that character, but once I was able to parse that then thongs got simpler. Mario got put on add duty, and I would hot swap in other characters for mallow as needed. This one took a while and sent me back to weapon world to level everyone up to 28, but I didn't die to it. I dunno, let me know if I'm overrating this one, but I kind of did a double take when it first started and I got my first "Immune" on mallow and it took awhile to square the circle.
Cluelex - So, to clarify from the above, clulex is hard. Very hard. But he also transmit his schtick probably better than anyone else here and once you figure out how to play through it, it's also probably the most similar fight to the original fight in the main game. The very first Meteor really took me by surprise, and then I didn't really link it to the second after I recovered, but after that I got the idea of "either heal up everyone or get peach to the back". Most of my game was a conga line of dead bodies for peach to bring back, interspersed by mario doing aoe with the lazy shell, mallow tapping star rain, or the occasional shot by BowseGeno just to keep the vibe going (although lets be honest, Geno was mostly there to boost the newly risen zombies). Fight was a slog, but I didn't die (28 turns too, not bad for a first go I think). Lots of danger in the fight but if you can keep peach up and keep the line moving, I honestly don't think it has much on my number one, and I could see some people even ranking Punch/Belome over it. This fight will likely be longer than both of those, but I think the mechanic is more easily read and once you get it, you can deal with it with a number of strategies.
Johnny - .... So yeah I died like 3 times on this one lol. I think this is a horribly interesting fight but I'm also not a fan of focusing into one party member and putting them under a microscope, which obviously this fight requires. After a few stunted tries with my standard attack setup (and failing a lot of timed attacks/blocks) I decided the only way I was moving through this one was with the biggest block of cheese I could muster - Lazy Shell + Ghost Medal with Geno and Peach as my cheering section. We got through it but my god it had to have taken at least 15-20 turns. My attack stat did not like lazy shell, but my HP loves seeing 1, 3, 7 damage at a time. I'm sure some people who are way better at doing big J's attacks can do it with more aggressive strats but this was easily what triggered the most deaths for me and I think is probably the most skill intensive of the fights.
Anyway, what's your guys rankings? I had a blast with the fights last night, even if this add on did feel a bit short.

Most people don't even know what they're talking about, and will try to coat their judging behaviors around with "love and compassion" while they don't even understand what compassion means.
People will tell you that you're wrong because they simply don't like that you're authoritative over truth.
People will tell you that they've their own truth and that you're better than them because you're pointing out something that is wrong, and will turn it into a personal attack rather than focus on the topic at hand.
So people will try to outsmart you, then change the version of what they've said because you've tackled all they had to say, but then they'll edit it and appoint that you've missed a point, trying to be mischevious that way. Pointing out that you're "wrong" while all you really intended to do?

1. Protect somebody else, another human.
2. Prevent the same occassion from happening elsewhere.
3. Genuine care for other people and a deep desire to lead them into bettering themselves and applying what is good

They'll always have something to say. They'll attack you on a personal level, laugh that you're fat, bald, ugly, too beautiful and prideful due to that. People will always have something to say.
Just as a police officer's arresting somebody, so the white guy says it's because I'm white, the Hispanic says it's because I'm Hispanic, the black guy says it's because I'm black.
Get outta here wicked humans and learn the righteousway instead of being so manipulative, evil, and so selfish, that you don't have any valid argument to give, but to prove that you're better than somebody who knows something better than you do, which was never the person's thought of going about and showing how wise they are.
People will hate you because their egos are fragile, their character is weak, and they'll attack you because they're too prideful to witness somebody stating something other than what they believe or think
And to that you just don't respond. It's a waste of time and energy.
For so many years I've tried explaning things to people, and that's all I've found:
1 in out of 100 will wanna hear what you'd wanna say, and the numbers aren't accurate, but more of me pointing out how from my life experience with people from all over the world, rarely ever anybody would be humble enough to sit down, listen, and learn. And if they disagree, they'll tell you in a respectful manner and good talks.
So why bother aruging with the other 99 people? Sometimes I do to prove a point that their understanding is wrong, that they're attacking me on a personal level, that they've no idea what they're talking about, and learn that their pride and fragile ego need to be worked on.
And so many others say "as if you don't have pride or an ego" and this is what I hate the most about people:
They always will take things out of context. Never did I say I don't deal with pride or have an ego. But people will claim that you did say that, out of hurting you. But that's their trap to hurt you. In a moment you flip the table and start attacking their own behavior, showing'em how vile they are, and then you know what happens?
They yell, shourt, blame, cuss, manipulate, and turn into the animal that they are. In fact they're worse than animals, their true heart's being revealed.
A person speaks about from what they've on their heart, it isn't the mouth that makes you filthy, but that comes out of your heart.
Fools only want to express their opinions, never ever to learn or listen to you. People will read half of what you've said and reach a conclusion over it, rather than read it, sit down and relax, drop their egos and ugly hearts from attacking you on a personal level, and you know what they'll find?
A message that's meant to help others fight evil, stop being evil, and give praise to whom deserves it.
If only humans knew how to be humble and shut up when needed.
But people will always have something to say.
So pour out your time to somebody deserving of it, not stupid people arguing with you and trying to force their opinions and way of living on you, which most times, on the 95% of the time - their ways are bad.

Me(21F Gemini) & my girlfriend (22F Aquarius) of 5 years (took a break in 2022) have been arguing these past months over little shit and it’s taken a toll on both of us. Let’s start off with why we’ve been arguing - she has this group of guy friends that her and her sister just so happen to love going out with (she goes out with them basically more than she goes out with me and tries to justify it by saying ‘I want u to come but u don’t like them’) like okay I GUESS. Anyways the reason why I find them weird is because they always and when I say always I mean ALWAYS want to hang out with my girl. So around thanksgiving time my gf hosted a small get together and those boys were invited. There’s this one boy called Adrian, he’s always around her, everytime they’re together they seem to look like they’re in a relationship. So we’re at the party and mind you it’s a get together so EVERBODY KNOWS EVERYBDOY, he was next to my girl for damn near the whole night. I barely got that close to her that night & didn’t say anything which I regret. So at this point I’m fuming. Now another one of the first things I noticed was that he deepens his voice when he speaks to her. So lately they’ve been hanging out more together (my memory is ass I want to tell Yall how I think he’s weird some more but my brain is not functioning properly) & I’ve expressed to her that I don’t like them/him and don’t think he has good intentions. She tells me they’ve been friends for years but she also mentions that he’s never gave her that vibe - that when he does give her that vibe she’ll let me know and cut him off 🫥. Fast forward to Wednesday she’s doing one of the Boys’ hair (she didn’t tell me til the day of, which isn’t normal) and she’s doing cornrows. My girl is a stylist and she’s been one for years so cornrows is light work for her. I texted her before she started and after she started, then I called her twice while she was doing hair (which is also weird bc normally she’ll just pick up and leave the phone where I could see her but also hidden from the client). She calls me after I text her at 11:30pm telling her I’m going to sleep and the clothes I just washed for us she’s gonna have to pick it up cause I’m not going home the following day. She knows I’m upset because she was supposed to pick me up from my brothers house because I was washing OUR clothes bc they were all dirty, she proceeded to ask me at 12 am do I want to go home… it’s late as fuck u live basically 30 mins away from my brothers house and u just got done doing hair.. are you not tired? She replies with her saying she’s sorry and it shouldn’t have took that long whatever whatever. Next day I go home and see my big ass 60 inch tv had like the bottom chipped off so I text her wtf is this? She goes on to say she hit her head on it & I didn’t believe still don’t believe it but whatever cool. Then I get extra mad and ask her did she have them mfs using my shit. She calls me crazy then blocks me on iMessage. I text her off of IG telling her I’m done with this shit because I was so mad and told her I’m not gonna bother trying with someone who doesn’t gaf bout what I say or what I do. At this point we’re both tired of the same old shit cause that’s what we really be arguing abt (me not liking when she goes out with them) and we end up not being on good terms then we fuck it out then it goes back to the same old fucking shit. But this time I had told her I didn’t mean it and she said that maybe we do need this break. My heart sank so fast down to my ass, I could feel the nerves in my heart just snap. I was so hurt I couldn’t respond to what she had said it didn’t register until later that night when we were getting ready to go to sleep. Ive been at my brother house since, so yesterday I guess she goes out we didn’t talk last night much at all but I saw one of the boys’ snap and it was all five of them. Mind you she doesn’t know I know this but I only come to find out at 5 am (abt an hour ago) but before that I text her exactly at 3am telling her to call me if she’s not sleep or not doing anything she calls me 40 minutes later and it doesn’t sound like she was sleep so I asked her was she sleep the whole time… this bitch gon tell me she napped earlier & she’s boutta go to sleep rn & after she’s says that I try to see if she’ll tell me the truth but her phone “died” (pretty sure she just turned it off) and she usually puts it to charge then calls me right away once it’s turned on. Texted her ‘Ok. U didn’t have to call me if you didn’t want to be otp’ hasn’t delivered her phone. Do you guys see the red flags? Or am I just delusional?

Hey everyone! I'm a TFT streamer and Competitive player, hit challenger every set since 4 (not this set! I'll tell you why). I've never posted on Reddit, but I felt like I had too many things I wanted to break down and have a conversation about. These thoughts were just too much for a Twitter post, and I'm really curious to hear how everyone else in the community feels :)! (PS. I posted this on TFT Reddit, but was told to post it here too since it's rooted in competitive TFT)
Disclaimer: I love everyone at the TFT team, and have immense respect for everyone on it, and I know for a fact they all strive to make a product they are proud of. This post is out of love for the game.

1. Novelty in TFT / Set Mechanics: Regarding Novelty in TFT / Set Mechanics: In recent sets, it's clear that the TFT team is determined to create unique and memorable moments for players, which I appreciate. However, in their pursuit of these moments, they seem to have lost sight of the essence that made TFT so magical from the start.

We can all agree that Set 10 was a huge breath of fresh air coming off the turbo-boring set that was 9.5 where everyone equipped URF legend and popped tome 2-1 and prayed. Set 10 is, in my opinion, one of the greatest sets ever designed. Everything aligned perfectly and harmoniously (music pun!), the unit and trait design was near flawless, the set mechanic was a huge upgrade to Set 4/4.5's Chosen mechanic, and the 5 Costs really did feel like premium units. It was a homerun for TFT. (The numbers show that too for all you numbers people)
Moving on from 10 and coming into 11. It was glaring to me that in an attempt to reach the destination of creating novel moments in TFT they took the wrong road. Encounters might just be one of the worst types of game mechanics to ever exist (second only to shadow items). It's a disaster lottery draw every single time it shows up that you dread won't destroy the path that you calculated was the most optimal path based on what you've gotten so far in terms of units, items, augments, etc... The main reason why Encounters are bad game design is because they take away player agency in an unhealthy way. That doesn't mean that there can't be potential encounter type mechanics that borrow player agency that are healthy. It just means this one is bad. It's a lot of quantity over quality and it leaves the player in this weird middle-ground where they're not too impactful to create a sense of excitement and awe when they pop up, but they're just useful enough to be extremely annoying when they don't benefit you at all, and accelerate other people's boards. (Obviously this isn't ALL encounters, but definitely most)

1. Unit and Trait design: Set 11 brings some of the most lackluster / boring feeling units and traits I've ever had the un-pleasure of playing. If you named all your favorite TFT units / Traits of all time do you think any of set 11's Units / Traits would make it into your S-Tier category? (Maybe Lissandra, but she's just a worse Set 6 Tahm Kench lets be real) and apart from the idea behind Exalted (It needs more work, but can be an amazing way of introducing infinite comps) not much in Set 11 stands out to me on that front. I'll delve deeper into a few things I don't want to bloat this post, but just know there's a lot more. Kayle is one of, if not the worst summon unit we've ever had in TFT.
   
2. The idea behind build your own summon unit is fantastic and I genuinely hope they give this another go, but the execution was suboptimal at best. Sets 3 / 4 / 6 / 10 All had extremely life-like and memorable summons Giant Mech Garen that thrusts down sword into the arena, Giant Galio slamming into the arena and punching units to death, Bears and dragons to buff your team and fight alongside you, and even a Hecarim that gallops onto your board and buffs your team and slashes enemies. Summoned units SHOULD feel, sound, and look impactful, and not act like any unit I could buy from the store. Or else they just end up being a glorified 2 cost. Stats aside (I love stats, but this post isn't about them), my primary aim is to ensure a fun game before delving into statistical analysis. Kayle feels like a filler unit that you mostly just plop in the back and forget about, doesn't do much unless you hit the crazy (mostly unobtainable) 10 Piece trait. Speaking of unobtainable traits. It seems to me the TFT team has come up with this bandage solution of gatekeeping a lot of really fun and exciting moments behind these extremely hard-to-obtain 9-10 Piece traits. We've never had this issue in TFT; why are we now gatekeeping a lot of the exciting moments behind 100+ hours of playtime. You can tone down a lot of the exciting moments, and still keep them accessible, but challenging to obtain. You've done this for the longest time; why fix something that isn't broken. Personally, I think there needs to be a revaluation of what makes a Set engaging and fun, and what players really want to see and play around with for hundreds of hours way before you start delving into the mindset of "How do we add as much divergence, nuance, and novelty". Those roads can meet and intertwine, but they aren't the same road.
   

Items, Augments, and Orbs!: Items - Here's a little brain exercise for everyone, what would happen in TFT if we removed all item components, and strictly dropped only Ornn anvils all game? (Take a minute to think before you click the spoiler!) >! If you guessed it would ensue chaos, bugs, and a balancing nightmare. OR be a hell of a lot of fun! you'd be correct both ways! (New portal idea!/s) !<
Luckily for us, that isn't the case. However, I do think we've reached a point with items where we're too comfortable with what they wish to achieve on units, and this creates a dynamic where TFT units are always being designed with items in mind, and how the items would make the unit work. Rather than creating fun and engaging units in a vacuum and worrying about the items later. It's a scary prospect to experiment with the tried and true (Think back to Set 7 when they made Rage-wing trait experimenting with units that had a different fuel source than mana, but it was a total miss or when they created the dreaded Shadow items), but it's just food for thought. Just because you didn't get it right once, doesn't mean the idea is flawed, just means you didn't get it right that one time. A time where you definitely did get it right however, is Radiant items Look how those turned out! Some of the most beloved items of all time. This is sort of what they wanted to achieve with the new expansion to the Ornn anvil items, and support items. It's definitely a step in the right direction, but can definitely be explored more.
Augments - Augments really was a happy little accidental shift in TFT's life cycle. They created the perfect concoction of how to add an almost infinite amount of variability to a game that was missing just that. (Which also adds to why Encounters are redundant and frustrating) Since then they've time and time again created really fun and engaging augments each set, that without I'm almost certain TFT wouldn't be as popular as it is. Please keep doing this, this is really good. Another little thought exercise before we continue. What would happen if most of the Encounters were just turned into Augments instead? (Think a little before you click spoiler!) >! If You guessed it would just create a healthier way of interacting with said encounters. You'd be correct! !<
If you're trying to create a new set mechanic (encounters) it shouldn't overlap with something that already exists that's just better than the new thing you're trying to create (augments). However, getting back on track. It does feel like things have gotten a little too comfortable in the Augment space, and feels like there hasn't been much room for innovative change. There's an untapped reservoir right in front of you of infinite variability at your disposal. Why aren't you experimenting harder, instead of looking for other means of adding variability that will always be suboptimal to the one you've already created almost 6 Sets ago...?
Soft Sample Examples: A new type of Augment called Radiant Augments that provide a wide range of very strong / borderline insane combinations of items and stats, but the catch is after every player combat if you lose you can choose if you want to swap your Radiant augment with the player you just faced. (Like multiple random hexes of strong stats, or 3 tailored Orrn items / Support items, or given 3 zephyrs and knowing who you're fighting next or given a 2Star-dragon that adopts your top-most trait?!) (The design space is infinite)
Orbs - Lastly, I'd like to talk about Orbs! Orbs are a lot better, good job! That's all I have to say :)!
Thank you for reading this far into my post if you have. Again, this comes from an immense love for the game and the people creating it. I have nothing but positive interactions with Mortdog on Twitter / Discord and would appreciate if you guys keep it civil and friendly :)! I really do have a lot more thoughts, and things I'd love to share, but I feel like I've already bloated this post a lot! (Assassins, Higher Cost units than 5, Midsets, system changes, loot management, meta knowledge, Portals etc..)
I've just been really bored playing this set, and that's the reason I've retired from seriously competing or climbing for this one set, and I'm very keen to read what other people have to say about my thoughts, and looking forward to discussing it thank you!

(⬆️example - not me) I’m an (almost) 15 year old girl living in Australia and basically since march of last year (2023) I’ve doing two braids on the side of my head and pulling them extremely tight to lift my eyes & brows up. I’ve caused severe SEVERE traction alopecia (worse than i can even find on google) but I don’t want to stop, what should I do? Basically this all started because I felt super ugly. I was 13 turning 14 at the time and had recently stopped wearing like a proper full face of makeup + lashes (which lifted my eyes). I could not look at pictures of myself and if i went out to the shops after school with my friends I had to avoid all the mirrors. I would frequently sob about how gross I looked. I know for a fact that this was not all in my head as I barely had any friends, nobody had taken romantic interest in me since I was a small child and I never received any compliments. I was also bullied pretty bad over my looks and had people mistaking me for a GUY. I still do not think I am attractive with my natural eyes at all. Although I took notice of how much better I looked when I had just woken up - my eyes were much more lifted and nice. I started trying to get as much sleep as possible, but it was never enough. One day I got home from being out all day and saw myself in the mirror. Suddenly all the good memories I had made that day vanished with me now realizing I looked that ugly all day. I stand in the mirror and lift my eyes up with my hands and again wish my eyes were naturally lifted as I look so much better this way. While crying I found a hack on tiktok where you braid the hair next to your eyes tightly and put it in a high ponytail and pull tightly, but I extremed it by using 4 hairties and pulling extremely tight after each individual one, this lifts my eyes, eyebrows and my cheeks. You can guess where it went from there. Immediately at school everybody pointed out I had noticeably changed, but they couldn’t figure out what exactly had changed (thank god) and I got lots of compliments. Obviously a rash began to form though and my hair started falling out but I always asked myself: would I rather have “thin” hair or have a pretty face?I’ve adapted my basic high ponytail since many times as I had to hide the balding. Now it’s been well over a year, almost 15(?) months and I’m at a loss. My hair is almost completely gone and my eyes aren’t lifting as much anymore. I physically can’t go back to how I was, I’ve already grown more friends now then I’ve ever had, I’m so much happier, confident and I can stand going to school and looking in mirrors, boys have actually taken an interest in me and i’m not constantly sobbing over how I look. If I have to stop lifting my face and have to go back to how I look naturally I will not be able to go to school. I won’t leave the house. I’ve looked almost completely different daily now and I’ve grown to love myself more than I ever could before. Everybody will notice the difference, and the bullying will probably come back when people realize what I’ve been doing. Boys will regret talking to me and the friends I have will think I’m a complete freak! Plus, most importantly, I want to look how I do now. I’m happy with how I look and how I’ve looked for the past year. I like liking how I look, I like being excited to get ready and leave the house and I like not hating what I see back in the mirror. Now, I would 100% get plastic surgery if it was that easy. But as aforementioned, I’m only 15 and the ways things are going lately I’m definitely not making it three more years with my two strands of hair. But I’m happy with everything else, all my other features and I have been since. Is there any way I can get my eyes surgically or non surgically lifted at my age? If so, how? Please. My life has improved so drastically since I started looking better and my happiness is through the roof compared to before. At the top of the post you’ll see an example of how my eyes are pulled everyday and also the look I’m surgically hoping to achieve.