So there's this post of the best friend last 30th of October 2023.. it said..
May mga nag paparinig dito na kung mamas boy daw spineless. Huh? Who gave you the go-ahead na mag judge ng mga lalaki na mahal ang pinanggalingan nila? Ano ka perfect ? Na hindi ka privy sa pagiging nanay sa huli? h*e please kung hindi ka toxic na tao hindi ka magsasalita ng ganyan but then again looking at your egregious track record it seems like the toxicity easily just seeps through
And I had a shared post last 26th of October 2023..
Very major major problem and red flag talaga for me ang mama's boy, myghad!! Spineless! (My caption)
Shared post:
Hello __, nakakita nga ako ng lalaki na hindi cheater, hindi palabarkada, walang bisyo pero mama's boy. Lahat nalang ng sinasabi ko sinusumbong sa nanay. Well anyway, normal lang ba na mag 2nd thoughts if malapit na ang kasal nyo? Ang dami lang talaga tumatakbo sa isip ko hahaha.
Context: Nagkabalikan po kami ng boyfriend ko last September 2023. We were together for 3 years when I decided to ask for a break up. No 3rd party nor cheating involved. For personal growth po namin and to realize certain things din. I didn't even entertain any men in my life pa nga in the span of me being single kasi I'm still waiting for him and it's the same with him. We were still friends too in fb and from time to time but not always, we still chat. But this best friend of his, I didn't do anything bad to him nor to the rest of their tropa. His bff unfriended me the moment na we broke up. And I didn't mind din naman since I am not a friend of his.They go way back since their grade school days pa.
I've just discovered that post of his recently kasi my boyfriend sent me a link to a video meme which directs me to his best friend's wall. So I kept scrolling since I got entertained by his bff's shared memes then I finally stumbled on that post.. At first I didn't mind, but then it felt kinda familiar. I checked my wall and I landed on this post I did. At first I was still sceptical and didn't wanna assume it was intended for me since hindi din namn kami friends na. But then I remembered na he once "haha" reacted to one of my past posts and hindi na kami friends that time. So how in the world did he end up there on my post when that was not even viral. And btw my mama's boy post wasn't even for any of them, para 'yon sa newbie work colleague na everytime may problem sya sa department namin, sinusumbong sa nanay na head ng ibang dept. and yung nanay ang nag co-complain sa admin 😮‍💨. I don't think they even mattered to me that I'd make a post solely for them. Never stalked any of them either. The thing is that si bff is a bit of a mama's boy. He's spoiled and kinda rich so parang na co-compensate na wala syang trabaho and lives with his mom. Also, I was still friends sa isang babaeng tropa nila na sobrang ma intriga talaga. Remember I was told that she thought that one of my post way back then na it was intentionally for her. Na pinaparinggan ko daw. I mean did it ever occur to her that she's merely just an acquaintance and I wouldn't even bat an eye kahit ano gawin nya sa life nya? I'm not even fond of her enough for me to dedicate any post towards her. She had a history of sending and saving ss and making intriga about it. I unfriended her when I discovered the bff's post and blocked her kasi she might be snooping around. Then I realized I'm still friends with her mom, tried looking for her sa friends list kasi nakita ko pa sya on that day sa list ko.. but then hindi na. I got blocked na bigla2. And brooo, that prying, snoopy little....
I also remember that my bf told me na his bff warned him jokingly that if we ever get back together, it'd be FO between them. Ako personally, although I have to admit I got hurt. I didn't do anything wrong to any of them, we only had a fair amount of interactions and for him to say that as if he hates me down to the core like he knew me. What irks me is that my boyfriend never once slandered any of his exes, never din nag hate boyfriend ko sa any decisions nya sa realtionships kahit na sobrang toxic nya na. Parang ang unfair para sa boyfriend ko.
I sent my bf a ss and he didn't know any of it. We talked in person but I tried to be calm and logical about it. I told him I understand if his friends hate me kasi parang automatic reaction din naman of the friends would hate the ex of their friend diba? And would slander the ex. They're not my friends but his, so I understand. I never slandered any one of them because that's not really my thing and it's beneath me. I really didn't wanna come off as a drama queen to my bf, I didn't wanna burden him but i was hurt. I didn't wanna make him choose since I'm afraid of what he might say, "bros before h*es" nga sabi nila. I'm so afraid that I could cancel everyone for him but maybe not him. I'm terrified that I am nothing against his bff and it tears me. I don't want to tell him to do something about it kasi dapat automatic na sa kanya yan. It would come off like I was begging him to do so. Kasi if he's in my place, I would definitely confront my friends. They don't have the right para murahin sya, hindi ko nga sya minumura. And I don't want him to feel bad talaga sa lahat ng bagay. I'd always cheer him up and encourage him. Inaalagaan ko sya then para lang murahin ng ibang tao na hindi naman sya kilala?? I won't sit idly by that.
Sometimes I'd watch yung segment ng showtime about exes, where some girlfriends were bullied by the people around their bfs and the guys didn't really protect their gfs. Especially yung May 16 episode na mas pinili yung best friend kesa sa gf 😢. Also yung April 17 ep na the girl was bullied too.

it's hard for me to fall in love, but when I do I love the person intensely. I can't look at others, it's only the person that I love is in my head. I'm 21 f, and I've fallen in love with him since my high school days. to be precisely when I was in second grade, at first I didn't know why and how. I think it was love at first sight, but when I started watching him and searching for information about him I fell too deep. I always think that we're a match in heaven, some kind of soulmate or something. We have the same taste of music, books even humor. how did I know? my best friend is in a relationship with his best friend. she always matches me with him, at first she doesn't know that I like him but when she knows, she thinks that me and him are fit for each other.
But I always have low esteem towards myself, I don't have the looks or the personality so I never made the first move to him. I thought it would be just like before, me falling in love with someone that would never love me back and it's already buried deep inside my head, always. When I heard that he had a girlfriend, one of my classmates, I felt so heartbroken. you would think why? you're a coward, that's your fault and I do know that. I force myself to stop thinking about him, to like him, to love him. For almost half a year I can survive without thinking about him. never once had I had the slightest thought about him, then one day he suddenly followed me on Instagram. I was shocked, like really-really shocked. we never once had a single conversation, never interacted but why did he follow me? at that time, my hope suddenly appeared again but not for a long time because I remembered that he now had a girlfriend.
I couldn't help but follow him back, I told to my best friend and she said that he and his girlfriend had already broken up. I shouldn't but I was so happy that I cried at that time, maybe? maybe it's a chance for me to be with him, to have him. I was so desperate to have his attention, that I did everything so that he could at least like my story or reply. I posted the books that we both like, I share the same music, comics, and even memes. but never once did I get what I wanted, you guys must've been wondering why couldn't just confess to him or make the first move? as I said, I was a coward, a big coward. I feel deep in that agony once again, praying and hoping for him to notice me. It's hurting me again, and I thought to myself do I have to live like this? why is the reason he followed me? why? and after locking myself up for almost a month, at my birthday. two days after his, I convinced myself that I should move on if I didn't want to start something if I didn't want to be brave and confess to him.
My best friend asked me to at least confess my feelings to him before I decided to move on, maybe it will ease my anxiety and mind. but I once again refused because of my cowardness, I chose to keep my feelings to myself and remove him from my Instagram. it was a tough decision but I managed to get through it, I was doing better and better. I focus on my studies, hanging out with my friends, and everything else. I thought I already moved on, I never looked at his profile on Instagram anymore and never looked at the conversation that I had with my best friend about him.
So I talked about it to my best friend, she's happy for me but she also feels sad because she supports me to be with him. Then she asked me again, "Are you sure that you already moved on? I'm so happy about that but I don't like seeing you forcing yourself like this." then I asked, what does that mean? yes, I was forcing myself but why did she ask me that? She then told me that her boyfriend, the best friend of 'him' knows that I like his best friend. she told me that 'him' sometimes talks about me to her boyfriend. "She also likes reading books." "She listens to the same artist as I am."
then she told me that 'him' asked her boyfriend why I removed him from my Instagram, her boyfriend told him that either I was weird or maybe you didn't see the signs that I gave him. He just grinning and rubbing his neck at what my best friend bf said, and i ask her does 'he' know that i liked him and she said yes. idk what to do after that, i already move on but it still hurts me a lot.

I need some advice on how to diffuse some rage that's built up inside me.
I live in Amsterdam in The Netherlands. Yesterday while I was crossing the street, two guys on a scooter tried to run me over while shouting homophobic slurs at me. I think they saw the large rainbow sticker on my phone. They then sped away.
In the evening, with my boyfriend, I visited a friend who was redoing his garden. There were loose bricks lying around, and one was absolutely covered in moss. My friend let me take it home (I FUCKING LOVE MOSS). While I walk home, my boyfriend has his arm around me for a second to comfort me after I explained what happened earlier. As he does this some guys in a car yell "k*nker homo" (Dutch gay slur). I had immediate thoughts of throwing the brick at that car, but I didn't. But I was fucking shaking. When I got home I shouted loudly and it made me feel a bit better. Big hugs from my boyfriend helped too. But now these homophobes are living rent-free in my head.
When I was younger these events didn't bother me so much. I brushed them off. I'm peaceful. I live in way that I can be helpful and loving to others while taking care of myself. I grow orchids and moss FFS. When these events happen now I briefly feel rage that's almost blinding, and I don't like that. I don't want to make a fight because generally I'm outnumbered, I don't know who has a knife, but I'm also scared I'll lose control of myself.
Suggestions please: how do I de-escalate myself? What can I do to help me stop replaying these things in my head?
Someone suggested I that start doing a martial art like Krav maga, or take up boxing. Not for violent reasons, but to learn how to physically channel rage. I have mixed feelings.

In Victorian London, a young woman named Bella Baxter is brought back to life through unorthodox means by the eccentric Dr. Godwin Baxter. Bella, with a childlike mind due to the procedure, is sheltered by Godwin. A medical student, Max McCandles, falls for Bella and they elope. Together, Bella embarks on a journey of self-discovery, grappling with her unique situation and the rigid social norms of the time.
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We have only met online through Reddit and I asked to talk more frequently on Instagram, maybe three weeks ago. He has known I have a boyfriend, and listened/given advice about my situation since day one. The guy I’m with is really very sweet to me and we’ve been together, going on six years now…no ring, no house, no kids…. ever since I moved to the only place he’s ever lived for him, but I’m ready to move back home and to branch out. I really don’t want to put myself in that environment anymore
The most we really know about each other are our names, and a bit about music taste, and our ages, and I am pretty sure he has a girlfriend as well, just female intuition - because I am pretty much ignored from 6 pm to 8 am the next day. However, I am so naive in thinking everyone is as honest as I am. He is such a troll on other sex worker’s pages and always interacting & commenting on their content. Oddly enough, that’s how my current bf met me. I have mentioned before how jealous (but not jealous? In a way ¿) it makes me, and he has not been as active in doing that the past few days. We both have been open to jerking off foto each other, which I believe is all the relationship is ever going to amount to, it’s just flirty and easy to brush off because of our location differences. I really wish I did not look as forward to talking to him as I do, or the butterflies I get thinking about him, but I really find myself so in need of human communication & connection most days, so I settle for responding to his bare minimum messages most mornings. Anyway, I had hoped writing this out would help clear things up in my mind but i still feel just as confused as before If anyone had experience in anything similar, your wisdom is greatly appreciated 🙏🏽 thank you for reading

Here is one for you all and its a long one. 44M here, been with my significant other for ~20 years, married for 11 years. At this point I don't feel like we are going to make it much longer. I don't think she wants to be with me anymore but needs me for financial support so she is trying to string me along.
Background:
I want to say right off that I know I am not perfect, have never pretended to be nor have I overlooked my shortcomings and have done everything I can to address and deal with my issues.At first things were good. We did things together, went out, hung out with friends together, bowled leagues together, had a lot of fun. We also had a good, sex life. We were having cuddling times, regular sex, great foreplay, she was pretty open to positions and trying things.
When we first got together she was working miscellaneous retail jobs. She had a 4 year college degree at this point as well but never even tried to find a job utilizing it. I was fine with her working whatever made her happy. I work in IT/Tech. I have always been the higher earner, making almost double her salary up until a couple years ago. I never once said anything about this, never gave her crap for making less or the job she worked. I only encouraged her to find a job she enjoyed. I went years, never saying anything that might hurt her, even when I was working 50-60+ hours of work in a tough field at a job I hated while she worked maybe 20-30 hours a week in a super easy job of her choosing. After about 10 years of us being together she finally decided to go back to school for computer science. To support her doing this we lived in a couple places and worked jobs I absolutely hated to make sure she could finish school without any pressure. Again, I never said anything to her about this, I did it so she could be happy. She ended up finishing and getting an extremely good paying tech job after a few years, around the time that I noticed the biggest changes about her. Prior to her latest job and changes, we were OK for a few years. We starting doing well together as we were both earning well and have no kids.
Start of problems:
After we were married for a few years she started changing. She stopped wanting to do things together, we went out less and less. Stopped watching shows and movies together, stopped gaming together. She started treating sex like a burden, made me feel bad for even trying to initiate it. She became more of a prude, stopped wanting to do almost anything sexual, stopped wanting cuddling/petting, lost almost all interest in foreplay that wasn't directly for her, she lost all interest in any type of intimacy, cuddling, foreplay, or really anything that isn't about her getting off.
I feel that I have been extremely patient over the years about all of this. She has some back issues (self inflicted, she was having soreness and pain but continued a workout regimen that was obviously not right and causing issues. I have tried to be understanding and accommodating since she had these issues. Sex was never really a big issue, even with the back problems we had a decent sex life until the last 5 or so years. She started wanting to do less and it really felt like she was just trying to get it over with (outside of when I was pleasuring her and getting her off. Once that was done it was like hurry up and finish.
More recently, last couple of years she has had 0 interest in sex or even anything physical. I mean I can barely kiss her, cant touch her at all without some excuse that it tickles or some other BS. No cuddling as she says I always pressure for sex, BS, I love foreplay and am happy with mutual getting off. I have mentioned the lack of intimacy, mentioning that is had been months since we did anything and it is always some excuse or a suggestion it may happen this weekend (going on 20+ " this weekend" without anything) . She has almost every excuse in the book as to why she doesn't want to without really having a good reason. She will blame her back bugging her but will then do a lot of work that is physically punishing, especially to someone with back issues and despite the fact that I said I would do it or try to help. I have also gotten several different things to help, wedge pillow to help with her back, tried it once and had some random complaint that I forget. She had mentioned trying a swing so she could have support in different positions. I found several options and she then made excuses about all of them, the primary one being support for the swing. I eventually called her on this being BS when the new house we got had a chain mount in one of the bedrooms ( looked like it was possibly for a heavy punching bag) that would be perfect for a swing and I tested it holding my full weight. I again mentioned getting a swing to make things better to only get additional excuses.
Further Issues:
We had always talked about wanting to move back to California and get a house there when we had the chance. We had also talked about houses we would like and things like that. When we started seriously talking about getting a house, she said she would check with work ahead of time about being able to move to another state as we had discussed, she did not. I don't think she even talked to her boss about it. She just refused to move outside of this state as she said her job required her to be her even though her boss lives in a completely different country.
When the time actually came to find and buy a house it did not work out the way I guess I had expected. Eventually, we purchased a house here after several fights as she decided she wanted a cheaper house to fix up. Not even considering the amount of work and money it would take to do so. One of her "options" was a run down ranch house that had a surprise renter (9 months left on a lease) in a very obviously water damaged basement. She picked out this house so she continued to try to justify buying it for about 100k over what it should be sold for. After about a week of looking at shitty houses and fighting she finally agreed to look at one of the houses I had chosen, the house we eventually purchased. It was a bit more but had almost all of our wants without the need to fix it up.
For the purchase, she provided the down payment from her inheritance and jointly financed the house. Once the purchase was finished and we moved in she changed, a lot. Things became more about what she wanted, she would mention things to me but completely ignore any input and just talk like what she wanted is what I chose too. Her dad then decided to visit and this was the largest wake up call I think I have had. I saw him doing all of the things that she does that annoy and frustrate me. I then realized that if I stay with her, dealing with this is my future. He took over the house and she treated me like an asshole for just wanting a bit of space that I could have to myself. She refused to deal with him or reign in his behavior. I think it was around this time that I realized that it felt like I didn't even have a home even though we just bought one, that I was just a wallet to help pay bills.
We ended up having a fight about this and I ended up leaving and staying at a hotel for a few days. This is where it got really eye opening as I considered this fight as something we would think about and get over. However, the first thing she did was talk to her friend and then reach out to divorce lawyers. She mentioned that she was talking to them about post nuptials to make sure she got the house and money. This was a signal to me, that she did not consider nor seem to appreciate all of the years that I spent working jobs I hated to supplement our income and cover for her while she went back to school. All it seemed she saw was that she got money now so the house and all of it was hers. She made a comment about how she felt the money, stocks, and house were hers. She added that she wanted a post nuptial to define this so I shouldn't be surprised if I get one to sign. Unsurprisingly, she never actually got this done, never mentioned it more so I am assuming she just got lazy and never followed up. One thing that stood out to me was that she mentioned that she could not afford the house by herself. She rambled off several things about us just being roommates and me continuing to pay for the house and bills. She came up with something about me paying and her giving me money back later or something, I ignored most of it as it was dumb, I.E. me leaving my checks going into our shared account and continuing to pay like I have been but doing so knowing she plans on keeping the house and that I might get some money later if she ever sold it. She also made a comment that I did a good job with the stocks so I should keep doing that for her and she would give me like a 1k in a few years. Since I started working with the portfolio and diversified the stocks I have made over 40k in gains for it so yeah I ignored this as I felt like it was insulting. This whole fight and conversation hit me hard, especially after 15+ years of me working hard, shitty jobs, to provide for us just to get slapped in the face by greed.
We ended up talking a bit after that fight after I ended up stopping by the house. She had mentioned previously about going to marriage counseling. I told her I didn't think it would help with our situation considering what the issues were but if she was willing to go and actually participate, I would be too. We ended up seeing a marriage counselor as she had suggested it previously and I wanted to try everything to make this work. I had previously mentioned that I didn't think it would work as she refuses to open up or discuss her issues with anyone and if she wont do that, it is a moot point. She said she would so we found a counselor and we went for a couple of months. During this time I was very open about my thoughts and feelings and gave the counselor details on my issues. She however, did not provide anything ahead of time, participate much, would not open up, and eventually said that we might as well not go as she didn't feel like we were gaining anything.
Turning Point:
I think the f*ck it point, straw that broke the camels back for me is that about a month ago, around 10 months or so since we had any kind of intimacy we had a fight. During the fight she admitted that she actually masturbates fairly regularly which really, really pissed me off as she knows the lack of sex and any kinds of intimacy was a big issue for me and was causing a lot of frustration. I was quiet about it as what I would have said would have started a big fight. I am now struggling because I cant really get over the fact that she shows me no interest, wont let me touch her, we haven't had sex in months and she admits to masturbating instead of having sex with me when she knows I am extremely sexually frustrated. To me, this shows her lack of caring about me and shows that she only really cares about herself and what she wants. This is furthered by conversations with her family I have overheard because she talks super loud on the phone and I guess she didn't realize I could hear her in the other room. This last conversation was essentially her talking about the money again and additional money she may get when her dad passes. She made the comment to them that in hindsight she would have made me sign a prenup as all of the money she has gotten and will get belongs to their family and she wants to keep it in their family. This was another moment when I was like what the hell, I am not your family?
I am torn, I have been with her for a long time, I do care for her, but she shows no interest in being with me. No interest in a relationship, doesn't want to do things together (she even said that if I want her do more things with me I have to do things she wants to do first), nothing for how I feel, what I want, no cuddling, no touching, nothing. It came down to the fact that she essentially wants a roommate that pays for her to have the house, help with chores, and helps take care of the dogs without expecting anything in return. She does not seem to get how she is, care how I feel, what I want, or really care about anything that does not benefit her.
I am at my breaking point, I have tried for years to give her everything and now as thanks, I get nothing from her. I am getting to old to keep wasting time in a loveless, sexless relationship but am also having a hard time walking away from a relationship I have been in for so long. After writing this out I am also realizing, well more wondering, what the f*ck I am doing as it seems pretty obvious I am bailing water out of a sinking boat.

I will soon travel for 1 year in south America. I thought about making videos about it. I watch bald occasionally basically since the beginning for at least 5 years.
I looked for other channels and was surprised how many like bald are out there now. Most people don't seem to go anywhere with their channel and some have a decent following with a respectable amount of views.
With bald I can see why he is so successful he was kinda the first, charismatic, good infront of the camera and can easily build connections to locals.
Many of these other dudes don't have his attributes and I'm like okay it's understandable that he ain't successful but on the other hand you have some that have a following and views.
Do you guys think it's still possible to succeed in this type of content with this massive amount of others trying the same thing? What would do differently to gain attentions? Who are you watching and why?

I met this guy about a week ago We haven't met in person yet But apparently he just moved to country where I live, And one day, He went to abroad for business trip, He was about to get paid But apparently his account has blocked. So he couldn't get paid, and he asked me Send requesting through my email. Apparently he said he need an email that from my country. He couldn't do that becuase he got some paid by aborad client but as soon as he got paid. His account banned.
So here's my question
Should I believe him or not?
He uses First online bank Which I heard first Becuase I never interested going aborad
And what he asked me to is
Send requesting through my email, and he told me he will send me his own information and help him to create new account
Is it safe? I don't believe him so much He is rushing me
He said all he need is, an email that is from where country I live, because he will back to my country
Is that the bank he is using actually even existing?

earlier this year, my ex (21M) dumped me (23F) after feeling conflicted about everything in his life. he was finishing up his senior year of college and it wasn’t going well. he started having some sort of existential crisis and didn’t know what he wanted to do in life. he had no motivation to be a doctor anymore, no motivation to try in school, and started falling out of love with me.
when he admitted to falling out of love with me, it came to me as a shock since it was very very sudden. i was devastated. we agreed to give each other space and stopped sleeping in the same bed. i decided to go stay at my parents house and that’s when he dumped me over text. i immediately called my best friend and she told me that she never really liked him that much. she also told me some of my other friends didn’t like him very much because of the way he sounded (he comes off as very strong and expressive, my friends are more reserved) and how opinionated he was (he was extremely passionate about the stuff he liked to the point where some people thought he was angry). despite me being angry at him, i felt bad for him. i won’t go into detail, but a lot of his personality traits stem from growing up in a loud toxic household in which he had no voice. he struggles with frequent manic and depressive episodes and i was always there to help him, i didn’t want him to feel like he was a monster because of his mental health. he was aware of my efforts and was appreciative towards me.
after about 2 weeks of being at my parents place, i go back home to my apartment that both him and i live in. he wasn’t at home at all and didn’t know where he was. long story short, he was staying at another girl’s house. i always had a weird feeling about her and how close they were, but i didn’t want to jump to conclusions. basically, i found out he developed feelings for her while we were together and was essentially having an emotional affair towards the end of my relationship with him. i was absolutely furious finding this out and blocked both of them on social media. i didn’t block his number since i still had to communicate with him for bills and such, but because of this, it led to several arguments between him and i. the arguments mainly consisted of me asking why he would do this, why he threw away two years, etc. i knew he was going through a manic episode, so i couldn’t do anything about it. i just had to watch him self sabotage. he kept telling me that he wants to explore other possibilities in life and doesn’t want to lose his independence, etc. after a lot of arguments throughout several days, i just accepted that things were over.
a couple of weeks go by, i was out of town with a friend and i get a text from him asking if we could talk. i was hesitant since i felt angry at him for basically leaving me for another girl and staying at her house, but i told him that i will speak to him later. i didn’t know what he wanted. i get home and he seemed like he was back to his old self in a way, he didn’t seem tense. he ends up apologizing over everything and tells me that he made the biggest mistake of his life and doesn’t want to lose me ever again. he explained how he couldn’t sleep at all while he was gone and kept thinking about how he destroyed his healthiest relationship he’s ever had. i was very hesitant, but i decided to take him back and take things slow. i told him that i want to work on rebuilding the trust we had again and continue to work on ourselves individually. he agreed and things are fine, he cut off the other girl, graduated, and is enjoying his post grad life.
here’s my issue, before all of this happened, we had so many great connections with our mutual friends and such. but after everyone found out what he did, his friends cut him off, my friends cut him off, everyone cut him off and expresses deep hatred towards him for hurting me the way he did. everyone essentially witnessed me crying and throwing up over him, so they want nothing to do with him. i feel embarrassed knowing that i told my friends that i wouldn’t go back to him, yet i still did. they told me they will support my decisions, but they still don’t know how to feel about him. my family basically hates him too. i feel sad knowing that all my friends hate my boyfriend, but it’s for valid reasons. im afraid that they’ll continue to hate him forever. im sorry if i sound stupid or naive, this is the first relationship i’ve been in where i’ve felt actually in love. i don’t know what to do. i want to stay with him, but the thought of my friends and family hating him forever keeps eating at me. how do i process all of this? i don’t know how to feel.

Introduction
In order to supply energy for regular bodily processes, glucose is necessary. Blood glucose levels rise in diabetics as a result of a relative or total insulin shortage. One hormone is insulin. A hormone is a substance that our bodies' glands secrete. The pancreas is the name for this gland, which is located in the abdomen. Insulin functions as a gatekeeper, permitting glucose to enter the cell. If the body produces too much insulin or if insulin's function is compromised, too much glucose builds up and damages the cells in different organs. Diabetes is a metabolic disease in which the body cannot utilize glucose to meet its energy needs. Insulin is necessary for the entry of glucose into cells, as we have already mentioned. For this reason, when cells cannot use glucose to the fullest extent, the body attempts to generate extra glucose through a process known as glycogenesis. Here's how blood sugar levels continue to rise in the absence of food. Diabetes occurs mostly in two forms. The initial kind, or insulin-dependent diabetes. Only insulin, the primary medication, is effective in treating it. Younger patient age groups frequently experience this. Type II diabetes is the second kind, which is not insulin-dependent. In India, this is a growing trend. People older than 40 are typically affected by this. Exercise, nutrition, and oral medicines can all be used to manage this group.

If uncontrolled diabetes is not caught early enough, it can have harmful effects on all areas of the body. The illness needs to be properly treated even if a person does not now experience its effects. Neglect and complacency are never safe. Keep in mind that maintaining good control over the disease is essential to living a normal life. One of the main risk factors for developing complications from diabetes later in life is poorly managed diabetes. The chart below illustrates a few of these concerns for complications. This isn't meant to frighten you; rather, it's only meant to highlight how crucial it is to manage diabetes.
Diabetes food pyramid
Two of the most crucial things you can do to improve your health are to eat a healthy diet and get regular exercise. You can accomplish this by using the Food pyramid guide, the Physical Activity Guidelines, and the Healthy Eating Guidelines. Eating a healthy diet entails consuming the right proportions of the vitamins, minerals, fats, proteins, and carbs that your body needs to stay healthy. On each shelf of the Food Pyramid, foods that are similar in terms of nutrients are placed together. This provides you with a variety of food options from which to select a nutritious diet. Getting the correct balance of nutrient-dense foods within your calorie range can be achieved by using the Food Pyramid as a guide.
Research indicates that we consume an excessive amount of calories from foods and beverages on the Top Shelf of the Food Pyramid that are high in fat, sugar, and salt. They barely contain any of the vital vitamins and minerals that your body needs. Restricting them is necessary for a healthy diet. You need different nutrients every day depending on where you are in life. These are determined by your age, gender, level of activity, and gender.
Understanding food pyramid
•Restrict your intake of items from the Food Pyramid's top shelf. Considering that these are heavy in fat, sugar, and salt, this is the most crucial Healthy Eating Guideline.
•Use fresh ingredients when preparing and cooking your meals. Because they are often heavy in fat and salt, ready meals and takeout should not be consumed frequently.
•Consistently read the nutrition label; look for excessive amounts of sugar, fat, and salt.
•Consume at least five different colored fruits and veggies each day. Make regular choices of leafy green vegetables. Smoothies can be included in your daily servings of fruits and vegetables, but try to limit your intake to those that contain fruit or vegetables. Look for fat and sugar on the label.
•The greatest foods to feed your body include whole grain bread, potatoes, whole-wheat pasta, brown rice, and high-fiber cereals, especially porridge. These foods also satiate hunger. They offer a gradual release of energy. Recognize that different varieties may have different amounts of calories.
•Instead of frying food, use healthy cooking techniques including steaming, grilling, baking, roasting, and stir-frying. Limit your consumption of fried items like chips.
•Increase your fish intake; it's high in protein and contains essential vitamins and minerals. Make an effort to consume oily fish, such as salmon, sardines, and mackerel,
at least once a week. They contain a lot of omega-3 lipids. Reduced-fat cheese, low-fat/no-sugar yogurts, and yogurt drinks are the better options.
•While preparing or serving meals, use as little or no salt as feasible. Instead, experiment with different flavorings including lemon juice, herbs, spices, pepper, and garlic. Eat as much fresh food as you can. Check the food labels for the amount of salt.
•An adult needs eight to ten glasses or cups of liquid every day. 200 ml is roughly one cup. If you exercise, you will require more. Teens and children should drink often throughout the day. The ideal fluid is water.
•Make time to sit down at a table and eat three meals a day. Eat mindfully and give your food a good chew. You may overeat if you eat while watching TV or using a computer since it can cause you to become distracted by how much food you are consuming. Alcohol contains calories, so if you drink, do it responsibly within advised limits and ideally with meals.
•Always make time for breakfast, as those who eat it are more likely to maintain a healthy weight.
•You shouldn't need to take food supplements if you consume a healthy, balanced diet unless your doctor tells you to. Nonetheless, it is recommended that all sexually active women of reproductive age take 400µg of folic acid daily, ideally as a supplement. Vitamin D deficiency in the diet can be addressed by discussing supplementation with your physician or pharmacist.
•Eating a healthy diet both before and throughout pregnancy lowers the chance that your unborn child may develop lifestyle disorders like obesity and heart disease. Breastfeeding is highly advised since breast milk provides additional protection.
•Take into account how much food, excluding fruits and vegetables, you eat from each shelf of the Food Pyramid if you are overweight.
Conclusion
A diabetic diet's ingredients differ from person to person. A balanced diet is an excellent way to treat diabetes. Making a nutritious diet is made easier with the guidance of the diabetes food pyramid. Diabetes can be beaten with a balanced diet, appropriate medication, and a healthy lifestyle.

I don’t know how much longer I can keep repressing my feelings. I’ve wanted to be a girl as long as I can remember, yet I’ve been shutting it down as “just a phase” for over a decade now. I recently remembered a memory I blocked out of me asking my mom when I’d “get boobs”, and her saying “You won’t. You’re a boy”. I can’t believe I totally forgot about that instance. I must’ve been in elementary school.
I feel like my life has been a lie, not just to others but myself. I even vaguely remember how I got in trouble at my Christian school when I was in K-4 because I would wear the wedding dresses from the “costume chest” in our classroom during playtime.
I’ve started remembering very very clear trans signs in my youth that I completely blocked out for years, and I don’t know what to do. My family is supportive of queer people, but I’m still so scared. I think I’ve seen too many horror stories online. (I guess that’s what happens when you live at home, work a part time job, and are single).
I have a cousin who is a trans man. Do you all think I should talk to him? Maybe he would be a good resource to gauge our family’s perception. Plus, he could probably help me figure out if I’m actually trans or not since he knows who he is. He’s been on T for years, and I’m ngl. I’m jealous he came out when he was like 16, and I’ve not even had the courage to consider my gender until the age of 24.
This all feels terrifying. I live in the South, and my state doesn’t particularly like trans people. I don’t know what to do here. My DMs are open if anyone wants to help me figure things out. I’m also willing to discuss things in the comments so that anyone else questioning their gender can potentially find some guidance in our conversations.

I find that many people with ADHD have dreams, but often fail to live up to them. So they work for minimum (or near minimum) wage in a job they hate. This could be for a number of reasons, but I think that an important one is this seemingly common belief among ADHDers that we're not good enough - that we'll just fail or that nothing good could happen to us. Other people yes, but not us.
On the other hand, I have seen many people with high-paying jobs. These guys are driven and can br work-a-holics. That sounds good until you realise that a lack of impulse control and problems with executive functioning can render such a person as financially poor as the former, oftentimes leading them into mountains of debt they can't escape from. I believe that negative core beliefs are at play here as well.
I think medication is awesome. It doesn't work for everyone, but if it does, it can make a real difference. I do, however, believe that ADHDers need more. They need psychological assistance to overcome the schemas that hold them back. Schemas are sort of like core beliefs we hold about ourselves. They rule our lives and, unless confronted, can keep us stuck in an endless cycle of failure and/or poverty.
You can check out "The 18 Schemas" online. There should be abundant material for you to browse. But the psychiatrist who introduced me to them and their relation to ADHD was the psychiatrist, Dr. Tracey Marks. She has a good video on YouTube entitled, "3 Ways ADHD Makes You Think about Yourself". It explains the issue quite well.
Let me know your story and thoughts.

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They hire a team of experts to do the trapping online then they show up to the meetup with cameras, I havent been watching but I see clips on social media, sometimes they beat up the predator and sometimes the cops come arrest the Predator, I dont get how the cops can arrest them without the police being part of the operation and will the streamer provide the evidence if the case goes to trial?

recently, i had a conversation with my mom detailing what i wanted to be when i was older. ever since i was a child, i loved singing and dancing. not like i was humming in the womb, but singing was a great past time for me.
when i moved to london in 2022, i, according to my mom, fell in love with the idea of becoming a musician. for some reason, my childhood is overly blurry, but she told me back then i wasn't interested, and i was sorta confused because i'm sure i was. she said the idea of becoming a musician and singing and everything was not on my to-do list. it was weird because i don't recall ever telling her a career i wanted to look into back then. i think i assumed she knew i wanted to become a singer, but she didn't know? idk its confusing lol.
so anyways, after that i tried to occasionally sing and practice my voice. note: occasionally. i would, according to my entire family, sing for a few moments and stop singing (MOMENTS??) clear my throat, do that again, get mad and say "I'm never singing again." (which is obviously a lie.) for some reason, i was dead-set that i wanted to become a musician, but i also didn't put in the effort to becoming a singer.
now, even i know this, but i tend to pick-up and drop things easily, so i never really stuck to one thing. the reason is most likely because my parents were movers. even when we lived in dubai, we never stayed in one place. changing schools and houses more times than i can count. i think having this sort of lifestyle of not having to stick to one thing is affecting me as a person also. but thats a story for another day;
my point is that singing is one of the things that i picked up but i can't seem to drop. i think as i kept going and watching these people perform at concerts, work in studios, all of that it makes me want to become a musician even more! i tried my hand in acting at one point but that totally backfired. so its just on singing again. in fact, i tried so many things and i decided i was good at nothing so singing was my only option.
now, don't get me wrong my family is well off, so i can afford school, college, university and the works, but i still feel like i'm not good at anything besides singing. im going to grade 12 next (school) year, so i don't have lots of time to think about this, yet i feel like everything will just work itself out.
now, to my actual question; do i like singing, or do i hate it? and if i hate singing, why do i hate it?
so, my first reason that comes to mind on why i hate singing is my voice. now, i've had no shortage of compliments from my family telling me i'm a great singer. (well, maybe a little shortage. and my dad has never told me i'm a great singer. apparently i've never sung in front of him before.) but, also from strangers. before the winter holidays in 2022, my school held a winter concert and i had a solo in there. my music teacher who's also the choir teacher, gave me the solo, telling me i had a great voice and potential. the day came and i felt i completely blew it, but people were pulling me left, right and center to tell me i had a lovely voice. might've been just curtesy, but it was very sweet of them.
so i have no genuine idea why i hate my voice, but it just feels so flat and bad. i can't hold a note more than 4 seconds, my breath control sucks, i can't mold my voice into something, and my voice is raspy. i could keep going. it doesn't sound like sabrina carpenter, ariana grande, whitney. someone told me it sounded like maria once, but i'm calling bullshit. and most importantly when i sing, my neck hurts or i get a splitting headache.
now, second reason i came up with is that, like my mother said, its a chore. she told me i only sing to practice, i don't sing because i like the melody songs create. i don't sing because i love it. i sing because it feels like it's already a job for me, and as if i'm about to make money from it. i tried to deny this, but i think it's true. when i sing, i don't sing like i'm trying to enjoy the song, i feel like i'm trying to monitor my voice and what it sounds like.
when i practice and i cut myself short, it's not because my voice hurts or i'm tired of singing, it's because i don't like how i sound, which makes me think: am i enjoying the song at all? obviously to get better at singing, i have to practice, its a must. but i don't often sing because i like a song, i sing them as a form of work. now, i thought this would all be easily avoidable if i just went to singing classes, because now i can focus on practicing there and enjoying singing out here. but i've always been of the "if i had this, it would be better" mentality. and in this case, i might even be right! but my mom asked "why would i pay money for something you don't even like", and maybe she's right and it is a waste.
maybe i hate singing because i'm bad at it but i'm starting to feel like this is my only option.
but that was until last year when i fell in love with gaming. game development particularly.
now i've always been a fan of gaming; not like the fortnite, COD, GTA and other games of the sort, but more like resident evil, roblox, the last of us type games, but then i fell even more in love with learning how to make them. now this is a whole big story and another story for another day, but basically, i now feel like game development is something i would be really interested in taking in university. but that didn't make me want to stop singing and trying to make music so... maybe the second point is invalid. but i don't know.
recently, i've been taking more effort to practice my singing and improve my voice. i sing daily now, for a significant amount of time. i've been seeing some progress actually. my sister told me that i've always been improving, but it's not the little improvements i see. its the big one. she's in 6th grade... 😭
anyways, thats all i know about this entire thing. its making me really sad and unhappy writing this entire thing. i thought i had everything figured out about this, but this whole "you hate singing" thing is doing my head in. i just wanna dance and make music :(
what do you guys think?

Rain Epleri omapärane soeng on ka varem kajastust leidnud. Kellel huvi siis https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5V1l8YCyzj4&ab_channel=UuedUudised siin on näha kuidas see meistriteos valmib. Jätaks poliitika korraks kõrvale ja võtaks aega, et vaadata kuidas juuksur, kes on tõenöoliselt igapäevaselt harjunud crew cutti lõikama või juukseid värvima, on ühteäkki enda rutiinist välja kistud ja saanud ülesandeks valmistada keratiinist kiiver.

I've decided to tell it. The story of how I wrote a book series that saved my father.
Growing up, I always thought of my dad as a simple man with a simple life. He was a janitor. When I was a kid, I was ashamed of that fact. Now it fills me with pride. There was a moment, when I was very young, a moment and an image that's seared into my memory. I watched my father shuffle off to the school where he worked, lunch box in hand, and it hit me that day: That is a man who is working so hard to provide for his little family.
Eventually, it became clear there was a family secret. One day, my mom said, “there are some secrets I'll be taking to my grave.” Indeed, she took them to the grave, but left us a clue. (More on that later)
My dad was always incredibly afraid of dying. He had a fear of Hell like no one I've ever seen. My sister recently told me a story where he told her about this fear, and she said, “But dad, you're a good man! Why are you so afraid?” His response was, “you just don't know.”
My mom passed away when I was barely 20, which was... let's just say, quite a few years ago. My dad almost died himself. When she was lying in bed, her death imminent, Dad collapsed in the hospital hallway and had to be hospitalized himself. When she died, there was this surreal moment where my two sisters and I were hugging our dad while we all sobbed. This was weird. Dad never hugged us, and he certainly never cried. He said he “lost his angel.”
In the years that followed, my dad relied on my sister and I for everything. I can't speak for my sister, but he almost felt more like a son than a father. I cooked his meals, packed them for work. Every day. Every single day.
Together, the 3 of us were happy(ish) for almost 10 years. My dad worked his janitor job until he retired... then he immediately got dementia after that, which is just tragic. In the beginning, he would think strange things, like my sister and I were selling drugs and getting arrested. (If you knew me and my sister, you would know this was preposterous). Eventually, it got to a point that he didn't remember our names or who we were. I was often not his daughter, but his sister, Helen.
My sister and I went from being our dad's helpers to his literal dementia caregivers. That was a period of about 2 years. Those 2 years were among some of the most hellish of my life. Words can't really describe what it feels like to see someone you love accuse you, forget you, and fixate on hallucinations all day.
Eventually, we couldn't take care of him anymore and he moved to a care home. Dad told us once, in his dementia-addled state, “I'll be here 'til November.” That was in July.
Enter The Darkest Knight, aka, The Black Knight Chronicles. I started writing this series around the time Dad moved into the care home. I can't say too much about the book without spoiling its twists, but I encourage you to check it out. https://www.amazon.com/Darkest-Knight-Black-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B07HFTSNDD/
In the very last chapter of the last book, the main character says goodbye to her dying father. She tells him “I forgive you.” My own father died just hours later... on November 1st.
Two days after his death, I heard Dad's voice as soon as I woke up from sleep. I heard his voice say, “I'm Home.”
My eldest sister wanted her piece of a tiny inheritance, so we prepared to clear out Dad's house (where I still lived) to sell it. As we were cleaning out Dad's room, we found letters in a drawer. Without saying too much, they were letters from our aunt to our mom, alluding to something very awful my dad did when my aunt was young. The letter itself wasn't 100% clear, but there was clearly a cryptic & painful truth hidden in there.
Suddenly, I knew the family secret. Sort of.
It took me another year to figure out what I'd done, to put all the overwhelming evidence hidden in The Black Knight Chronicles together. When Kizzy says “I love you, I forgive you” to her father at the end of that series, SHE was ME. I had given my dad, a man who feared Hell like no other, the permission and absolution he needed to pass on.
In the book, Kizzy writes letters to “the father she never knew.” They are also MY letters to HIM.
Perhaps I didn't know him or his darkest shadows... maybe I'll never know. But I do know one thing.
I love him.
Always.

I’m 43 and I’m way past the age of getting my shit together. I still smoke cigarettes, drink mnt dew, don’t excerise, don’t eat right, don’t meal prep, I buy lunch at work instead of bringing something, I spend to much money on stupid crap on Amazon, I don’t have any hobbies besides video games, I watch you tube mostly in my free time, don’t have a girlfriend, live with my parents again for the past two years, don’t pay rent like a scum bag, I don’t help with groceries, and I still spend time on porn hub.
How the fuck do I stop being such a loser and start being someone I’m proud of? Do I need therapy to get better or how do I fix this?

Introduction
An excessive rise in blood sugar or glucose is known as "Diabetes Mellitus". The primary form of sugar in blood is blood glucose, which also serves as the body's primary energy source. In addition to being produced in the muscles and liver, glucose is obtained via diet. All of the body's cells receive glucose from the blood to utilize as fuel.
The hormone known as insulin, which transports glucose to every cell in the body, is released into the circulation by the pancreas, an organ situated between the stomach and the spine. When the pancreas produces insufficient insulin or insulin that is not functioning properly, glucose remains in the bloodstream instead of entering cells. Diabetes can be brought on by excessive blood glucose levels. Diabetes can affect people of any age or gender. Diabetes occurs in three basic types: Type 1, Type 2, and Gestational Diabetes.
Type 1 diabetes:
Although it can occur in adults as well, type 1 diabetes, often known as juvenile diabetes, primarily affects young people. Due to an immune system attack and subsequent destruction of the insulin-producing cells (pancreatic beta cells), type 1 diabetes results in insufficient or nonexistent insulin production. You won't get diabetes if you eat too much sugar, despite popular belief. The immune system of a person with Type 1 diabetes attacks the beta cells in their body, which produce insulin, which is how the disease began. Monogenic diabetes is the term for a subset of rare types of diabetes caused by mutations or alterations in a single gene. The two primary types of monogenic diabetes are Maturity-Onset Diabetes of the Young (MODY) and Neonatal Diabetes Mellitus (NDM).
Before the age of six months, diabetes is more likely to be non-diabetic diabetes mellitus (NDM) than autoimmune Type 1 Diabetes Mellitus (T1DM). MODY refers to a class of hereditary autosomal-dominant conditions characterized by early-onset, usually moderate hyperglycemia (high blood sugar). Rather than insulin resistance, it is the consequence of beta-cell malfunction. MODY is associated with mutations in a minimum of eight genes. There is an older group with the slower onset disease in addition to the typical young individuals with acute onset T1DM. They may appear to have Type 2 Diabetes Mellitus (T2DM) in middle age, but tests for the anti-glutamic acid decarboxylase (GAD) antibody show indications of autoimmunity. Eventually, they develop an insulin-dependent lifestyle. This condition is known as Adult Latent Autoimmune Diabetes (LADA).
Complications of diabetes
Complications from diabetes have been shown to significantly raise health care expenditures for both treating and managing the disease as well as increasing morbidity and mortality. Diabetic patients who have out-of-range diabetes treatment and higher long-term blood glucose levels are more likely to experience microvascular and macrovascular problems.
Blood glucose levels that are too high over time can lead to a number of problems, including:

• Diseases of the eyes caused by alterations in fluid levels, tissue edema, and injury to the blood vessels in the eyes
• Foot issues brought on by nerve damage and decreased blood flow to your foot
• Gum disease and other dental issues, as harmful bacteria are encouraged to proliferate in your mouth by a high blood sugar level in your saliva. Food particles and bacteria interact to create plaque, a soft, sticky film. Eating foods high in sugar or carbohydrate can also cause plaque. Certain kinds of plaque lead to foul breath and gum disease. Cavities and tooth decay are caused by other types.
• Damage to your blood vessels and the nerves that regulate your heart and blood vessels can result in heart disease and stroke.
• Renal disease brought on by harm to the kidneys' blood arteries. Diabetes frequently results in elevated blood pressure. That could also be bad for your kidneys.
• Damage to the nerves and the tiny blood arteries that supply your nerves with oxygen and nutrients might result in nerve issues (diabetic neuropathy).
• Nerve injury and decreased blood supply to the genitalia and bladder can lead to sexual and urinary issues.
• Disorders of the skin, some of which are brought on by modifications to the small blood vessels and poor circulation. It is also more common for people with diabetes to get infections, particularly skin infections.

Additionally, acute hyperglycemia emergencies can be brought on by high blood glucose levels. These emergencies consist of:

• The most common cause of ketoacidosis, a potentially fatal condition marked by hyperglycemia and elevated blood acid (ketone) levels, is type 1 diabetes.
• Hyperosmolarity is a condition that causes the body to lose water from its organs. It is marked by prolonged hyperglycemia without ketoacidosis and severe dehydration.

Management of diabetes
Type 1 diabetes is a complicated illness that needs to be managed on a daily basis with effort and preparation. Here are some tips to help you effectively manage your Type 1 diabetes:
Check your blood sugar frequently: Using a continuous glucose monitor (CGM) or a glucometer to check your blood sugar is essential for managing diabetes and avoiding complications. If nothing else, make an effort to monitor your blood sugar levels before bed and after meals. Treating high blood sugar as soon as feasible is crucial.
Regularly take your insulin and other medications: Pay attention to the directions provided by your healthcare practitioner when taking your insulin and any additional drugs, if any.
See your endocrinologist frequently: To ensure that your Type 1 diabetes treatment plan is effective, it's critical to see your endocrinologist frequently. Don't be hesitant to pose targeted queries to them.
See your eye doctor and all of your other providers on a regular basis. Complications from type 1 diabetes can affect many parts of your body, but particularly your eyes. It's crucial to visit your ophthalmologist (eye doctor) at least once a year so they can examine your eyes.
Plan ahead for a sick day: Consult your endocrinologist about self-care and managing your diabetes during illness. Diabetes-related ketoacidosis (DKA) can be brought on by illness, so it's critical to be prepared by knowing what to do if you become ill in advance.
Stay educated: Never be reluctant to inquire about Type 1 diabetes with your healthcare physician. Your chances of leading a healthy life and avoiding problems from Type 1 diabetes increase with your level of knowledge about the disease and how to manage it.
Find a community: Making online or in-person connections with other Type 1 diabetics can make you feel less isolated while managing your condition.
Ensure your emotional well-being: Compared to people without diabetes, people with diabetes have a two to three times higher risk of depression and a 20% higher chance of receiving an anxiety diagnosis. Having a chronic illness that needs ongoing care can be very demanding. In the event that you exhibit symptoms of depression, it is imperative that you consult a mental health expert.
Conclusion
Four daily actions can help blood glucose levels remain within the desired range:
I. Stick to a balanced diet.

1. Engage in physical activity.

III. Regulate the dosage of insulin.
IV. Monitor diabetes.
At first, these tasks could seem overwhelming. Make minor adjustments until completing these actions becomes a regular part of your day.
To prevent hypoglycemia, learn to balance your insulin dosage with each meal and physical activity. Establish a goal range for your blood sugar and raise your HbA1c (keep it between 6% and 7%). Take part in running events and diabetic camps to network with other Type 1 diabetics and gain insight from their experiences. Stay positive, do yoga, and meditate. People can resume their normal lives and no longer have to fear diabetic consequences once they have learnt how to manage their diabetes.

Any time I try to have a discussion on it, no matter what I say, they respond:

• "Not my thing/I am not interested/not funny/have to work on writing and stage presence first." You'll improve with time the more you do it! Gotta get on the mic to improve and learn! It's addictive, do it!
• "I don't wanna sit at an empty bar and perform to 2 dead eyed people and a room full of comics". But its not thaaaaaaat bad. Sometimes the crowds are good! Performing in empty rooms can be easy! You can make friends, it's actually not bad, you get used to bombing!
• "People don;t find me funny/audiences can really suck even with great people" You'll get used to it, fuck an audience, do it for yourself!
• "I just don't want to regardless." But its funnnn come on try it! Are you gonna live your whole life scared???? Don't you want to be a confident badass who can stand in a room and not care what others say?
• "I prefer YouTube/IG/If I'm gonna say unfunny shit, I'd rather just post a rant on my story while looking a mess, instead of standing fully dressed in front of a room of strangers who won't get my humor or pay attention." But crowd is better! (and something about improving social skills)
• "I'm the one single audience member in the crowd of bored comics at these shows, you really want to lose the one audience member you got and make them another comic?" gets silence. (And no laughs, despite it being playful..... even more proof of a lack of point in trying stand-up.)

Mind you, these are usually from people who have either just met me, or have seen me at best rant on my IG online once or twice but have not actually laughed at anything I have said, ever. And they get so touchy when I hold my opinion and stance regardless of what they say.
Even a few fellow comics I am friends with have said "I think they just really want a woman to use for attractive eye candy and to make people want to show up, since even if a woman isn't funny, it does draw more crowds and attention than a roster of dudes will." (A theory, not proven.)
I wouldn't care that much (at first, it just seemed supportive or like small talk with some of them,) if it wasn't the increasing amount of passive aggressive hostility just for saying "I prefer small stuff like tweets, standup isn't my thing, not really interested in standing on stage to tell jokes, but thanks." I'm already secure in myself and content with my quality of life just as an audience member, and yet they don't grasp it or fuck off. It's a thing almost every week.