I don't think I see this anymore, but I remember I would constantly see highly upvoted comments anytime a white woman was in a photo or video with a dog or horse or something joking that the white woman and the animal were having sex. And anytime something that even slightly hinted at beastiality, there would be a whole bunch of "white woman moment" comments.

Freshly back and awake after a twelve day stint for my first time there. I knew that I wanted to go in general, and while I didn't have a firm itinerary planned out, there was one main goal that I had in terms of sites within the country. The main video game that I play is Beatmania IIDX, and it has internal trophies which are represented as badges. Your profile allows you to assign up to five of them as visible when you start a new round, and there are badges to earn for playing at least one round in every prefecture in Japan, as well as every subregion. Getting the Kanto badge meant that I needed to play at least one round in Tokyo, Kanagawa, Saitama, Gunma, Tochigi, Ibaraki, and Chiba. After five days, I had that complete, and now I have a permanent record of this trip within the game itself. There was also a time-limited event to earn points in IIDX in order to exchange them for goods, such as a hat, or a towel, or a new account card and a poster, and I managed to get that taken care of in somewhat dramatic fashion. I did some other things too.
Primary general points
· Getting Suica set on the phone and using it was generally painless. There were only two times where I needed to summon the help of a resident JR employee to clear up an issue with the gate not reading the card for some reason.
· Most vocal interaction which I had was the opposite of painless, because I continuously kept trying to speak Japanese and failing, and most people would realize that I was completely failing at it and responded with English (some with full on sentences, others with just a few words). There were a few rare times that I was able to express my intent in Japanese, receive a response, understand the response, and reply as necessary, but that was rare. Once English was invoked, I would stay with it, because that's what they were expecting. I've been self-studying the language for more than twenty years in varying degrees of intensity, and while my reading comprehesion seemed sufficient enough for this trip, and while I didn't expect my speaking to be as good because I don't have any opportunity to practice speaking, I came away bitterly disappointed in my vocal and speaking comprehension in terms of my interaction with people there. Even within the trip I could at least overhear common chitchat better, but any time I needed to converse with someone for some reason, I usually needed to have things repeated several times and broken down before I finally realized what was being said.
· You are going to be asked about separately buying a bag with every non-food purchase. Accept or immediately present one that you are carrying to indicate how your purchase shall be bagged.
· I never once had my passport requested for presentation.
· Only once did a person volutnarily reach out to address me, and it was just to ask me where I was from in English. Otherwise, everyone left me alone the entire time.
· Weather through the period was ideal. Mid to upper 70F/25C range and only a few days where it was rainy, and even then it wasn't a downpour. A while ago I personally resolved to only wear suits in public and I purchased a new pair of Mephisto shoes after hearing reports of the extensive walking causing problems for traveller's feet and shoes. My attire help up well; there were only a few times that I needed to avoid sunlight to not get too hot, and I have no issues to report from the shoes.
· I only got X'd out of a restaurant one time, and I think it's only because I wandered into it before it was ready for service. Otherwise, I never once waited in line for food, I never once went to restaurant more than once, and all food was acceptably priced for the portion and excellent for the quality.
For these per-day recounts, I wrote them contemporaneously at the end of each day, so you'll need to forgive me for some writing being in present tense and other writing being in past tense.
Day 1 - Travel, Sugamo, Ikebukuro
Non stop flight from Chicago OHare to Haneda. 12 hours. Good thing I usually don't watch movies, because that just means that all I needed to do was binge a few to make the trip go by.
Pre-trip research led me to choose APA Sugamo as my home base for the visit, and I think that it was a very fortuitious choice. I'll have more to say about it later.
Some awkward encounters happened right away upon checking in here. I was at the nearby Family Mart to buy some things and I didn’t catch that he was making sure I wanted a bag until he repeated it five times. Yes, I’ll take it. Before getting there I was coming down to ground level after checking into my room, and when that person saw that I would have been the only other person going down to the ground, they ducked right back out. I was warned on both of these kinds of things happening, so I guess it’s good to have that immediately out of the way. It would turn out that people deliberately avoiding me was rare throughout the trip.
Despite not sleeping on the trip, I had freshly arrived and had no sense of being tired, so once I had my stuff down, I went off to Ikebukuro right away. No picture or video truly conveys how crowded these areas can get. It can only be experienced in person to be understood.
I soon found Round One Ikebukruo and went right in. So dense and loud. It’s entirely alien to me to see no less than ten IIDX machines in operation and all of them in use. I dumped the money into random tickets, as I foresaw doing, but now I have to wonder if that was the right thing to do, or if it’s tied to that location. I guess I’ll find out.
The forecast is for rain so I need to be in a hurry to figure out where I’m going to go. There might be only one day left for me to get my time limited toys.
Day 2 - Kawasaki, Kanagawa - Utsunomiya, Tochigi - Oomiya, Saitama
My body decided that it only needed four hours of sleep this morning. Without doing more research, I somehow decided to assume that more of the Round One locations were close to 24 hours of operation much like Ikebukuro. Answer: no. I hopped on the train early and went to Shibuya first, but it was very quiet, so I decided to get some of the travels out of the way today and headed south to Kawasaki. I still needed to dawdle for a while until Silk Hat opened at 900AM, and when I finally was able to get inside, I was only able to verify that their store had several allotments of the campaign goods and all allotments were out. Played one round on a monitor that was surprisingly blurry, and I don’t know why that would be the case with a lightning model, but it was, so that was enough.
After doing all of that, I resolved to try to go to Chiba and Ibaraki afterwards. I figured that with Kanagawa and Tokyo likely all out, going to the outskirts would make more sense. However, there was an injury on one of the rails that threw everything off normal, and the train I found myself riding was bound for Utsunomiya instead. Seeing as how I was going to go there eventually, I rolled with it.
It doesn’t take too long to move away from Tokyo metropolitan area before you encounter more forest like areas and rice paddy fields. Halfway through the trip I noticed that two older women suddenly hopped off while the train was waiting to go to the next stop, and I followed them when I realized they found the express line. Utsunomiya has a substantial size to its area and buildings but it was very quiet on the streets there in midday. Walked a mile to Sega GIGO, found that they didn’t even have the goods tracker up. All out. Interesting buliding for it having several neon signs, all vintage and authentic at that. Getting to there from the south meant cutting through Saitama, so I knew I had enough time to make one last attempt there. Research shown two stores being near Oomiya station, so that’s where I ended up. Taito Station was immediately visible upon exit, and they have two IIDX machines specifically with 20 gram springs, which is closer to my home setup and that much lighter than standard 50 gram springs. The final hour drew near and I made one last visit to that city’s Round One. Unlike nearly every other place I went to so far, it only had one IIDX machine. However, and maybe because of that, their goods listing didn’t show everything as out. One painful language exchange later, I was able to discern that what I wanted was available. When you spend more than 3000 yen in a single credit, the game wants to verify if you really want to proceed. It does it again at 6000 and 9000. Yes, I really do. But, having made that money dump I was able to get my hands on the e-amuse card and poster with fifteen minutes left before the deadline. Mission complete. By this point in the day it was exceedingly difficult to even look at the screen so I was ready to come home, but not before getting some goods at the Oomiya Book Off and redeeming what I could for points at Round One Ikebukuro. By the end of the day the only thing that I could tolerate doing was to buy some chicken and nigiri from the nearby train station. Good enough. At that point in the day my body felt like it wants to rock back and forth after all the train riding done today. But, it ended up being worthwhile after all.
One nostalgic feeling I had the most strongly in the day was at the Utsunomiya location where the smell of it triggered past buried memories of yesteryear. I think I want to attribute it to the stronger second hand cigarette smell but I’m not sure - all the same I felt its presence strongly there. Also, I don’t see Oomiya (or really Saitama itself) mentioned as a fun place to go, but it might serve as an acceptable alternative to Ikebukuro, only not as massive in scale of human quantity. Depending on how the trip goes in total I may end up back there for IIDX playing, at least if I don’t find any other place that has 20G springs.
Day 3 - Akihabara
With the travels out of the way, it was time to keep things more regionalized and stick to one area, and there is shopping that needs to be done, so it was off to Akihabara and to see how much of other posted tales hold true. The answer is that it is a lot of it. Kotobukiya can stand to open sooner than noon. Super Potato is indeed priced for a market which wants to snap up anything cheap - I at least found Xi for under 500 and felt that it would have been a bit silly to buy only that, but it didn’t make spending 2000 on one single issue of Arcadia any better. I had no idea that Hey Arcade was right next to both of them; while it was assuredly nice to be there and see the row of Cave shooters among everything else, something got messed up with my registration of my new eamuse card with everything else, so that quickly added to my stress. Having to carry around a few hundred dollars worth of crap with every step didn’t help matters. At least I was able to help a person recover their lost phone by applying a bit of logic to the situation and deducing it to belong to the only person there who looked French, as it was on the Lock Screen. They were relieved, yes. Then, rain came, and it was more than I was anticipating, and I left the umbrella at the room, particularly since I knew I’d be shopping this day. It also turns out to have not mattered much, because I went to visit Bic Camera so that I could get myself a hair trimmer while here, and that turned into me finding a bunch of Kit Kats available, so that meant a second bag. The wind kicked out the rain and my umbrella. In trying to get as many gifts secured as possible, I found some gachapon, but it needed 100Y coins, and I didn’t need paper money in the trip yet. After fighting with maps, I found an ATM to get cash, and got the gachapon. I came home late with feeling rather crushed about the day in that I couldn’t take pictures very well with having to juggle weather and bagging considerations. There were some nice parts of the experience to be sure but between that and more gawking at Super Potato pricing ($135 for PS3 Caladrius? $6000 for Pulstar?) and seeing similar markups on other goods, I don’t think it’s unfair to say that there is a reputation that this area carries and the pricing is there to go with it.
Day 4 - Laundry Day. Shibuya, Harajuku, Shinjuku
I was so drained at the end of Day 3 that I fell asleep on the bed immediately after ending the night call, which meant that I woke up at 0200AM to a room that was fully lit. This meant that I needed to look up how to resolve my eamuse problem or else I wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep. I did both. Awake at 0800AM meant that I had time to do laundry while I figured out what to do with the rest of the day. This meant that I was able to get more of Sugamo in pictures, and it was nice to be able to walk among the actual residences, and do other things like come across a school as it was actually in session. With them being close by and all in succession, I figured to get Shibuya, Harajuku, and Shinjuku visited. It turns out to have been a good day for it, as the temperature was perfectly cool and no rain came, and the sun came out only for a little bit. Shibuya somehow doesn’t seem quite as large in scope in person but the crowds were definitely there, and it is much more hilly than I anticipated as well. After wandering around and not seeing any arcade for a bit, I came across a series of coffee and cookie shops and remained strong to not indulge. It was there while looking at a Disney store (which gets tourists to take pictures of it for some reason) that the song Alone Again came on through the nearby public speakers. What timing. It drove me to finally get a treat for myself, and the frozen latte (black sesame and houji) and croissant (dark chocolate filing) were certainly good, it ended up costing more than the dinner I’d have later this day. I found a seclusion with a garbage can to eat the food and not carry the trash around, then an arcade soon after, and it was time to determine if I could fix the problem. Just like an easy click, it was. New to trash. Old to new. Done. Why did it have to be this way. Harajuku came next, and the environment there was distinct. This one in particular felt like it was an extended carnival atmosphere with the single tight knit market street and emphasis on fashion. A conversation with a freelance artist in the subway actually went well enough that I didn’t feel dumb. The same sensation carried to Shinjuku as well, only it was more spread out. Kabuki street was interesting to see in person, and I didn’t get any unseemly vibes from the place. Maybe it’s different later at night. A return home at a reasonable time allowed me to go down Sugamo’s market street a bit; most of it was closed, but it was interesting to come across the few remaining stores that were open by 0800PM, and more so the one that wasn’t. Coming back to the hotel I found a 24 hour ramen shop with nobody inside. The chef didn’t want to speak and only pointed to the ordering kiosk when I addressed her. The food came through a slot in the obscured window. At least her thank you as I left was a bit more warm, and the food was certainly delicious. To match with the matcha dessert that I bought from Sugamo station, I swung by a 7Eleven to get a drink, and found a milk tea for cheaper than a vending machine. The overhead music in the store was an instrumental version of Alone Again.
Day 5. Ibaraki - Mount Tsukuba, Miraidaira. Kashiwa, Chiba. Akihabara 2.
Awake at 0500AM on my own and knowing the current forecast meant that my envisioned plan for the day was quickly realized. Reaching the Tsukuba Express starting point from Akihabara needs you to get very far down into the ground before getting out into sunlight. I was on the ride early enough to see schoolchildren going about their commute, some of them being no older than ten and going about it unaccompanied. The people of Tsukuba seemed to be particularly helpful and cheerful that day, even despite my Suica issues at the gate. I didn’t ask his name at the counter but the man at the service desk was eager to speak with me about my career and what I was doing there. One asked where I was from on the way up to the summit and another caught my cable car ticket on the way down. There had to have been a few of them who saw my doing this climb in my business attire and thinking me to be a complete idiot if not outright mocking them for doing it that way while they employed the use of dual walking sticks and the like. I know I read some reports of the home stretch being difficult, but it did get pretty close to being an actual rock climb instead of a trail hike for that part of it. A quick stop to Miraidaira on the way back to get the Ibaraki play. The way the town center greets you upon leaving the rail gate struck me as incredible, as well as for how quiet it was. It was like walking onto a movie set. I did find the sweet shop after the play, and that was another painful interaction yet again. Oh well. Two quick stops down Tsukuba Express and one across from Tobu Urban Park line was enough to have a toe in Chiba, and I didn’t even need to leave the physical building of the train station to get to the basement level to find a machine for a play. Thank you, Kashiwa, you were great. Gunma is all that’s left. The descent from Tsukuba did take some earnest exertion, and after doing that the two stops, that put me back in Akihabara about when I anticipated; what I failed to anticipate is how much that place seems to drain on me. I think I just need to eat at an actual dinner time. Once I got back to Sugamo and had food it was a bit better, but while in Akihabara and being around that environment, and not finding things on a shopping list, I found myself just standing still and watching life pass me by. I hemmed and hawed a while for a maid girl’s hour of service for chitchat, but eventually I talked myself out of it because I just didn’t want potential trouble, just like her name. Komaru. I thought about doing this once just to say that I did, but I ultimately decided against it. You cannot go to this place with the expectation that you will find anything unless it is advertised and new. If you are looking for anything used, don’t count on it being there. You also cannot go there without having a strong resolve to not engage with the touts, because it becomes disheartening to see them do their job and blankly stare at the world when they're forced to stand out there and do nothing. Back to Sugamo to find a place that advertised Wagyu but the price they wanted was more than I wanted to spend. The ramen and seaweed & rice servings were fine, but they advertised endless drink and I didn’t receive that. All for $20? No, son. I did better than that elsewhere, I’ll know better now. Long day.
Day 6 - Tokyo Flea Market, Nakano Broadway, Ueno.
The weather couldn’t have been better for this weekend. I’ve read reports that the flea market held near the horse race track will be arbitrarily cancelled regardless of what is reported on the website, but my gut instinct told me that it would occur today, and it did. Turns out that a flea market is a flea market which is a flea market, no matter where it happens. Same allotment of clothes and stuff that few people really want to buy, although I was able to find myself some neckties at least. I probably overpaid based on what I saw later in the route, but that’s fine. They look nice. I settled on some shot glasses for a gift as well, but I’m surprised that I can’t ind something ornate that isn’t part of a sake set. Seated in the shade with a chocolate churro while rap music played in the background - it’s like I never left home. A woman came to sit across from me for the sake of sitting down; she was from Holland and today’s her last day in the country. Her husband came with food eventually. She had three weeks here and went to several places (allegedly, she didn’t list them out) and I asked her about Nakano Broadway. She didn’t make it there. It’s a good thing that I did - this is probably the kind of environment and market that people expect of Akihabara now, and maybe that’s how Aki was years ago, but it’s different from this. What’s more interesting is that Mandarake has a larger presence here than in Akihabara (so it seems to me), and their stores had floor after floor of any and every kind of pop culture product that’s been made in the past sixty years at least. Buttress that with extensive watch and jewelry stores and a slender arcade in the basement, and it’s a very well centralized microcosm of the country’s economy on the whole. I actually made a point to have dinner earlier than usual this time and found a place to serve some deep fried pork cuts served with rice and soup on the side. It was enough, and very well made. The day had not ended and my bag was heavy with several books purchased there, so I reported back to base briefly and decided to try visiting somewhere else, and settled on Ueno. Just as I arrived, a festival was underway where local teams of people made an elaborate show of carrying a home made shrine to a temple. Streets were officially blocked by police to allow the procession. In following the line I came up against makeshift food and amusement stands with the traditional toy gun shooting and goldfish catching. It appears that this is an official “start of summer” festival and I was able to watch it all happen in front of me. That was the good part of the day.
Day 7 - Tachikawa / Kunitachi. Shinjuku 2.
One of the games that I've never played is Beatmania III The Final. I've played some BM3 7th Mix years ago, but not The Final. I found a location that has one - World Game Circus in Tachikawa. In looking around that area before the trip, I saw that there was a nearby shinkansen museum, and not much else, so I figured that going to both places would make that walk worthwhile. Turns out that it wasn’t a museum in the proper sense of a dedicated building. Rather, it was a bullet train engine car on the side of a building that was unrelated, and that was it. A cute interaction happened here - when I approached the car, I heard some children running around inside, so I approached cautiously without knowing if I was encroaching upon someone else's alloted time or something. Once the children saw me, they gave a hearty irrashaimase as I entered, and the boy stamped a paper and presented it to me. Perfect. Despite it not being a typical musem, the card did have some interesting content, and it's good to see some kind of commemoration for their achievements and progression in that industry regardless. They have a lot to be proud about there. Off to WGC. Maps wasn’t lying about the walk taking twenty minutes. It's a good thing that I looked it up on streetview beforehand, because I otherwise would have walked right past it without knowing it was there. Then there it was, and there I confronted a past that I couldn’t visit again. Sure, I got to play BM3 The Final at last, but my timing was off, my hands were off, there wasn’t much I could do. Along with that I can say that I’ve played on a Beatmania II cabinet, and that was better than 5th Style at least. But that was it, that was all I could stand to do. It was right there and I couldn’t bear to put up with it more than a few rounds at best. Dream big, because only disappointment follows if your smaller dreams ever are fulfilled. I don’t know why finding IKEA back in Shinjuku was so difficult, but it took a while. I bought a bag, and then I bought a bag because the other bag was at the end of the register, which makes sense. I did feed myself before getting back to the Taito station to play some songs, but it still wasn’t good enough. All thumbs. Ended the day with laundry since the timing worked. Speaking of making dreams big, it’s time to cross another one off the list tomorrow. I can’t wait.
Day 8 - Takasaki, Gunma. Oomiya, Saitama 2.
It’s a good thing that I only needed to get to Ikebukuro to transfer over to the next stop, because that’s where that particular run ended for some reason. I wonder what was up. Speaking of things getting messed up on trains, I managed to find my way on a train that needed a separate ticket, which I didn't have. The conductor found me right away and had me disembark at Uraja for me to wait for the proper transfer. The weather forecast said there’d be rain, and the travel forecast said it would take two hours to get there, and neither lied. I feel like I had more people staring at me in Gunma than other places. I will say that I found the Takasaki station area to be rather charming, with the stores that it had inside and the emphasis on the music culture there. It’s one thing to offer a piano to the public to play, but it’s another to have a public willing to use it. This location had both. Having what was essentially a Bic Camera built into the facility was a nice touch too. The Leisure Land arcade was sandwiched between other floors that had its own offering of gaming stuff, so that was an unexpected bit of a fun thing to look through. The area was clean and sparsely populated, and it wasn’t picked clean of all matter of things that would normally get snapped up, so that was interesting. Finally, I made it over to the machine. They had separate fans for each location. I got the songs and then the medals came, and that’s that. Kantou Seiou. I would have stayed a bit longer but I wanted to have the medals show up right away, and my internet wasn’t cooperating, so that’s all I could do. I think there was an Internet cafe that I could have used in the facility, but I didn’t want to deal with an awkward conversation. I did get some Lawson on the way out, as well as some trinkets from the local Gunma-chan store as well as some mini croissants and some macademia cookie things. More vocal awkwardness. Omiya was one of the stops on the way back, and I found a place to serve omrice, so that’s another one off the list. No shoes allowed inside. The value wasn’t there but the service was good enough, as was the flavor. The machines with the 20G springs are indeed legit. Back home in time for some McDonalds, and that’s another food-checklist item marked off. Takoyaki mayo dipping sauce - somehow it’s both salty and sweet. While returning to the hotel, I did happen to encounter an argument amongst two teenaged locals where the guy ended up half-heartedly kicking the girl and getting her to cry. I wonder what their argument was about. I didn’t play hero, but someone else did so enough to prevent an escalation and called the police over.
Day 9 - Sugamo, Tokyo Sky Tree, Akihabara 3, Kanda
Up early enough to decide that I should at least visit the Sky Tree while I'm there just to say that I did, and that I should visit the Sugamo street market upon its open since it was right there in front of me. I'm glad to have done so. With everything open, this felt more like what one would think to expect from a flea market environment that's operated and supported by the local populace. Small stores were open both sides of the street that go on for many blocks, and some tents and tables were set up to sell second hand goods as well. I was able to find someone selling a US Morgan dollar and he wanted only 2000Y for it, so that was an easy buy. If I would have known better to anticipate this area, I wouldn't have felt compelled to buy kitchy tourist crap that is expected as gifts elsewhere. If you are looking for a place to idly shop around that doesn't get extremely crowded and has an authentic local feel to it, consider making a point to come here. Off to Sky Tree. Getting the combo ticket for the second deck was worth it just for the lack of crowds on the upper area. If you're going to come here, consider getting a phone selfie stick or something of the kind so that you can take pictures against the windows without the structure scaffolding obstructing your view. On the subject of shopping again, this might be another area to consider visiting just for the sake of the specialty stores to be found here, such as those for chopsticks or hairpins. To close out the day, my wife reminded me to look for something from the Square Enix cafe, so that meant swinging by Akihabara yet again. Since it is within a walkway, it was a bit of a pain to find this place even with using maps, but I eventually found it and got what she wanted to find. Played some IIDX at Game Panic, which was surprisingly small and the one machine that was avaialble to play had some 2P turntable issues, so that didn't last all that long. Dinner was at a nearby place that specalized in tofu, so that was a good ramen serving with that infused. For the evening, I wandered south to Kanda to get night pictures, and found it to feel pretty similar to Ueno.
Day 10 - Ginza, Tokyo, Kanda & Akihabara 4
Launrdry in the morning. I also wanted to say that I went to Ginza in my time here, and I didn't research anywhere to go to keep it a surprise. It was a bit warmer and sunnier than usual that day, and I stuck to the main road for most of the walk, so I can't say that I found too many points of the interest along the path that I walked starting from Yurakucho station and heading out that way. High class store for high class people, and that's too rich for my peasant blood. Similarly for Tokyo proper itself, I suppose I'd have to needed to wander far away from the Yamanote vicinity to find points of interest there, as I didn't encounter anything that was remarkably distinctive here in comparison to other areas that I have previously seen. Continuing north across Nihonbashi brought me to Kanda and eventually to Akihabara yet again, as if it was a magnet that pulled me inside every time. For the sake of trying a different place I chose to play some IIDX at the Leisure Land arcade there, and I'm glad to have done that, as those machines were probably in the best coniditon that I encountered within that area. Dinner was at Tenkaippin, which I didn't realize until after I placed the order was cash only. The clerk didn't request it beforehand but I voluntarily left my passport there to show that I would return, and promptly went to the same ATM that I had found days prior in order to get the cash to pay for the bill.
Day 11 - Haneda T3, Nishi Nippori, Nippori, Uguisuidani, Otsuka, Shibuya, Shinjuku, Ikebukruo, home.
The end. I resolved to take the subway over to Haneda today to get the one luggage over there and stored, and it’s a good thing that I did - there’s no easy solution for getting over there without encountering a crowd. If anything I wonder if Yamanote is actually better. Regardless, I got that much done. With the day left to go, I ventured to Nishi Nippori and I needed to summon the map several times to make sure I found the location, as it was as obscure as it could get. Just a sign on the ground for the third floor, a stairway that led to the back, an elevator that had no decoration, a single room that housed everything. Arcade PCB kits on shelves, joystick panels in exposed boxes, nicotine odor from years past - it was like I was transported to 1995 upon entry, beyond the fact that the games weren’t as old. Most of them, they did have a lot going for SF3 3rd yet. I was able to take care of some game business in a hurry since I was the only one there. It was a very pleasant respite for play in comparison to most of the other sessions. The region itself felt much the same as this arcade - old and well worn, as in well lived. Venturing south to Nippori led me to stumble upon a shrine and cemetery just by following some stairs. Usuigudani was cleaner but mostly had hotels as points of interest. Back home to buy some mochi while mochi was for sale in midday. Then to Otsuka, thinking that I would wander to Ikebukuro, but I ended up wandering back to Sugamo instead. Whoops. Meal at Sugamo, then back out to return to Shibuya and Shinjuku at night to catch evening shots, when I hadn’t done so before at these places. Good thing I did that to get Golden Gai area shots at night. With the night winding down, I decided to have one last IIDX play at Round 1 in Ikebukuro to symbolically end where I started.
Ending arcade comments
· Although the upkeep is generally better and more consistent than the US, some machines will have hardware issues here too. I was surprised by the blurriness with some of the LM IIDX machines.
· Densha De Go on the propert large cabinet is nice but quickly becomes very expensive.
· Bombergirl is OK enough and having the dedicated detonator button that pops up for hitting the base is a cute touch.
· Chase Chase Jokers feels rather clunky and I'm not sure what the game is trying to do. Interesting side screen concept at least.
· Nostalgia is delightful and would probably find a small fanbase worldwide if it had more exposure.
· Favorite IIDX locations are Taito Station in Oomiya for the light keys and Leisure Land Akihabara for the high quality of the LMs there. Honorable mention goes to the Game Versus loctation in Nishi Nihonbashi, but that might not be worth it for a dedicated trip unless you go there first thing in the morning.
Ending overall comments
This was a life altering trip for me, as would be expected. While I'm glad to have made the journey, as to be expected, I will only want to return after making an extensive redoubled effort into speaking and hearing comprehension, because I know that I came across like a blubbering idiot so many times, and it's truly aggravating because I generally know what I want to say and most of the words that are used to say it, but it just doesn't come out of my mouth properly when it needs to be done.
I welcome any questions you may have, as that will help for me to recall the memories and have me write them down.

The first rays of rosy-fingered dawn climbed their way over the Macedonian hills and fell like arrows to glint upon the racing bronze of the Scythian raiders. Death clattered and rang among the early morning light as they made their way across the plateau towards the waking village. Gleaming in the rosy light, but obscured by the mist, they seemed like comets cast as Olympian arrows. Their horses' breath clung in the air as they dragged behind them chariots of bronze and chariots of iron. Each carried two men. Those with bronze carried a driver and an archer with bow bent, while those with iron carried a man with a mighty cleaving axe. Each driver also carried for himself a leather shield and bronze short sword. Behind the chariots came footmen equipped like the drivers, and at their flanks rode horsemen carrying one-handed axes, javelins, and wooden shields covered with leather. Thus the horde came down the valley towards the village, cloaked in the fog, but vastly beyond what their victims could hope to muster.
Then, the fog parted like the curtain of a theater. Before the coming horde stood arrayed a sturdy phalanx, a wall of bronze shields and forest of spears aimed towards the invaders. Behind them, men stood with bows bent and arrows knocked. At their center, a man sat astride a white-faced bay mare. Shining in his steel armor, he drew his bow and fired. An arrow sped into the eye of the foremost driver, and a moment later another caught his axeman in the throat. He roared with a voice like a trumpet. “MEN OF MACEDON, SET YOUR HEARTS ABLAZE!” Thus cried Leonidas Kygniois, keen eyed hunter, and with one voice his men answered him. “WOE! WOE! WOE TO THE WICKED!” At those a volley of arrows was loosed from behind the phalanx and fell among the Scythians. Many died, as Leon bid his aide unfurl the banners. Across the field each unit raised up two banners. Below was the banner of the unit, and above the sun with sixteen rays. Besides Leonidas arose his own banner, the white wolf on the blue field, under the black dragon’s wing.
The foremost forces of the Scythians were caught in the charge, unable to pull away. They crashed into the wall of shield and spear with the terrible sound of breaking bones, shearing bronze, dying horses and dying men. All the while arrows continued to rain, and the slaughter was brutal. But then, swift as a winding river, the Scythians turned and wheeled away. The chariots of bronze sent forth arrows of their own, coated in serpent’s venom. The phalanx raised their shields, and covered themselves. Even so some struck through, and the venom wrought a terrible toll on the men. Even so, the phalanx began to march forwards, stepping over the dead with their grim chant. “WOE! WOE! WOE TO THE WICKED”. With this chant they kept their stride, and advanced as a seamless wall. The wounded fell back, helped by their brothers. The archers helped guide them back, and reservists stepped forwards to replace them. Thus the army advanced.
The Scythians pulled back, and danced at the range of the archers. They sought a weakness, or to create a weakness. The bronze chariots formed into a circle and spun like a wheel. Each man turned and fired, and slipped out of range. It was troublesome to target and gave each Scythian plenty of time to line up his shot. In their midst was one most terrible, their chief in gilded chariot. Shining was their armor, brilliant as the sun, head hidden behind a helm like a lion. Their bow was strong and eye keen. Whenever they loosed, a Hellene fell dead.

At the same time, the chariots of iron gathered on the left, and with them the horsemen of the left. The army of the Hellenes had deployed on the flat ground before the village, with a forest on their right to guard that flank. For a flanked phalanx was a doomed phalanx, and the flat ground was optimal both for maintaining a unified line, but also for the chariots and horsemen to maneuver. So the scythians gathered on the left, and sought to envelop the Hellenes there. Their chief suspected their enemy might have hidden horsemen in the mists, and so the wheel turned. They drew forth arrows set with whistles and fired them into the flank. The arrows screamed with a terrible sound to spook horses and sunder morale. Then forwards the flanking force drove to envelop the foe, or else slip behind them to wreak ruin among the archers.

There they found the strongest of the Hellenes. Beneath a banner showing serpent-haired Medusa, they stood clad head to toe in steel. No arrow could find purchase against these immortals, and no blade of bronze could wound them. They turned with grim purpose, spears tracking the foe as the mist lifted. The flanking scythians found themselves with no cover, facing no exposed flank, but the royal elite of the Macedonian army.
Then out from their midst stepped a dark-haired woman with piercing blue eyes. She pulled back her cowl to reveal a diadem, and opened her thumb on a bladed ring. She reached into her cloak and drew forth iron shavings, a magnetic stone, and rose thorns. Then she spoke words of power and imposed her sovereignty over reality.
“Apaangan
Loha
Kaante”
Then she blew the iron over the field. From the bones of the earth, iron answered. It erupted like a field of nails under the feet of the horses. They screamed in pain and stumbled. They fell and cast their riders on the thorns, or else were slowed in their stride. Thus the charge was stalled and the pace ruined. Then spoke the witch again and the air stank of ozone.
“Trisula.
Munhatod
Bijalee chamakana.”
By these words she called forth lightning. It came as a brilliant trident to her bloodied hand. Her hair came alight into the air with static, her diadem gleamed in its light. The enemy saw her and beheld the dread heir of Olympus, last and mightiest of the demigods, Queen Cassandra of the Macedonians. She hurled forth her trident into the air. There it broke and a storm cloud formed over the battle. The fury of Heaven rained down on the chariots of the Scythians. Their chariots of iron were brought to ruin. Their men fell bloodied, deafened, and burned. So Cassandra brought ruin to her enemies.
Thus, the enemy retreated from the hellene lines, and fled from the wrath of Cassandra, daughter of Zeus. For her fury was terrible, and her deeds were mighty. Thus they came back around their chief, and escaped the ruin that had come upon them. They withdrew, step by step, and runners were sent further back to the baggage train to make ready. On the Hellenes came against them, but they were slow in step and cautious. Leon watched the canny chief of the Scythians, and never did his eye wander. The chief in turn watched him, and both put hand to bow, though they did not loose at one another. The range was wrong, but each made ready for their duel.
At length, the Hellenes pushed the Scythians back beyond the extent of the forest, and so their left became exposed. Their chief launched a probing attack with their horsemen, who drew near and threw their javelins into the midst of the Hellene line. The line recoiled, pulling back and inwards, bunching up. At this sign of weakness, at once the chieftain struck. The chariots closed in for the kill. Likewise, the horsemen circled and lowered their spears. As one they would drive into the exposed flank of the Hellenes and drive them from the field.
Then the forest vanished. It had not all been an illusion of it, but enough of it. The chieftain turned, the world seemingly slowing to a crawl. Out of the fading shadow ran bold men armed with long spears. They crashed into the flank of the charging horde and into the midst of the chariots. They drove their spears into the wheels of the chariots, and ground them to a stop. They thrust upwards at the horsemen, who’s mounts reared away from the danger. The charge had been utterly disorganized by this sudden surprise attack, and the advantage was to the Hellenes.
Valiantly the Scythians fought, and most valiant was their chieftain. They lashed about themselves with axes and swords. Their chieftain hefted high a mighty flax; a reverse-edged blade held in two hands. Down the falx fell, and a Hellene that drew too near was all but split in two. The surprise was sudden, but for their charge the Hellenes had forsaken shield and heavy armor. As surprise faded, the battle seemed to shift in favor of the Scythians. Yet the chieftain lifted up their eyes, and saw that they were in danger. The Hellene cavalry finally made its move. Slipping in behind and around the bulk of the Scythian force, with Leonidas at their head, they made to encircle and destroy the Scythian mobile element.
Then the tide truly turned against the Scythians, as a roar sounded out of the mist. A shadowy blur, nearly the size of an elephant, was among them. It snatched the wounded out of the jaws of death, and threw aside chariot and horse with ease. Axes struck at it, and bounced. Spears thrust and were broken. A few bold horsemen charged towards the black mass in the mist, then she raised up her head. Great wings split the mists aside, and her majesty froze horse and rider alike in terror.
Her body was like that of a panther or other great cat, covered in interlocking scales like a serpent. Her four limbs were long and powerful, ending in mighty claws gleaming white as ivory. A tail like a scorpion lashed, a glaive-headed blade at its tip, sharp enough to split a man in twain, swifter than arrows. A long neck terminated in a head a bit like a horse, a bit like a viper, and a bit like a bird of prey. Plated black scales overlapped across her body, gleaming in the dawnlight, sturdier than steel, yet flowing like water. Blue fire lapped around the edges of a mouth full of teeth like daggers. Two great wings eclpsed heaven behind her, leathery like a bat. Long white scars from battles past covered her throat, as eyes like amber froze men like trapped bugs.
Seramis of Achaea, the Dragon Princess, entered the battlefield.
The chieftain saw this doom amongst their men, but watched with wisdom. Though Seramis wielded terror as her weapon, roaring with flame and talons drawn, she wielded only terror. She might have slain many easily, but she used the Gehennan flames as only a firewall. Her tail lashed and claws struck, but they slapped rather than slashing. The dragoness certainly broke bones, but that was more a function of mass than malice. Her priority was the wounded, and she struck those that got in her way.
“Avoid the dragon! Do not strike the wounded, nor stand to capture them! Slay them in a single blow, or wound them and move away before the dragon intervenes!” The chieftain cried, and while the Hellenes could not understand her, Seramis did. The Diluvian princess turned her head and looked toward the lion-helmed Scythian. The pair shared a look of understanding, before the tumult of battle resumed their attention.
Seramis continued her work, all the easier for the lack of interference. Acting as both medic and ambulance, she rescued the wounded, Hellene and Scythian alike. Following in her shadow came a creature a bit like a ram, with seven horns of lapis lazuli. This was her familiar, a spirit of knowledge she called Elijah. He acted as her diagnosticator, identifying wounds and ailments to aid her work. Sera cast spells of healing, not complex work but quick and efficient. Bleeding stalled, bones were set, and pain was soothed. Then she would take the wounded and lash them to her side and back with tendrils of shadow. Once she had gathered a full load of men, she retreated back behind the Hellene lines. There she deposited them with the healers, and leapt forth to rescue yet more.
With the dragoness identified as less a threat, and more a mobile hazard, the Scythians returned their focus to the Hellene cavalry. Their own cavalry had been Leon’s primary target during the initial confusion of the charge, and he had made good use of the opportunity. Many a Scythian horseman had been slain in those first few moments, and no less than thirteen by the prince of marathon’s own hand. The white-feathered shafts of his steel-tipped arrows were seen planted in throat, eye, and heart, a testament to the prince’s deadly aim and fearsome bow. For he was wolf to ringbearers, and the strength of his bow and the superior metal of his arrows pierced breastplates of bronze, even the scale mail of the Scythians.
Even so, while the Hellenes had bled the Scythian horse fiercely, they had less success against the charioteers. The chariots provided additional cover from Hellene javelins, and space to evade their lances. Moreover, their sturdy construction made them perilous to the Hellenes horses, as a swinging wheel could easily break a leg. Finally, the simple fact that each chariot was a two-man team allowed for greater resilience. One man focused on driving, and the other on fighting. If either was wounded so they could not do their work as well, they could switch. Even if the driver was outright killed, the other could take over and use the mass of the chariot as a weapon. So, though the play gave the Hellenes the advantage, the Scythians were far from out of the fight.
So, with fury, their chieftain rallied their men about them and led a fierce counterattack. With the superior durability of the chariots and their mighty chief at their head, the Scythians reaped a bloody retaliation on their foes. Leonidas ordered his men back, to gather themselves anew. Each side had been bloodied, and both sought a retreat. Then with a cry, he took his personal guard back in, aimed directly at the enemy general. His bow was drawn, and fired.
The Scythian general stepped to the side of their chariot, dodging the shot. They drew their own bow, aimed, and fired. Leon evaded, but he wasn’t the target. Instead, his horse was. The white-faced bay mare took the Scythian’s arrow in her flank. The wound was minor, but the poison was not. She ran on seven steps, then seized, and fell down dead. Leon leapt from his dying steed, and landed in a roll. He came up with shield and spear at the ready, as the Scythian chief turned their chariot towards him.
The two general’s bodyguards whirled in a melee as the Scythian and Hellene commanders faced each other in single combat. The Scythian forsook their bow, knowing their poisoned arrows could not pierce the prince’s steel armor. Instead they raised high their fell falx, as their chariot closed in. Leon readied himself as the chariot closed to trample him. Then, at the last moment he sprang aside, unusually agile despite his heavy armor. Still, the lion helm tracked him, and down the falx came. Leonidas raised his shield and set his feet. The shield was steel, and sturdy enough to shatter a blade of bronze such as the falx falling upon him. But it struck true, and carved the steel shield, then kept going. Leon pulled back, but he’d braced himself and couldn’t maneuver. His steel armor parted, and he came away with a serious gash in his arm. He felt the blade hit bone, and realized that if he hadn’t been so well equipped, that blade would have taken his left arm off, cutting straight through the bone.
Still, though he bled, he did not quail. He threw aside his ruined shield and took his spear in both hands. While his foe had the mass and momentum of a charging chariot, the physics of metallurgy dictated that their blade should have broken against him. Curved blades were more fragile, a trade-off for their superior cutting power, and a bronze blade should have no chance against steel. If physics were being violated, it meant sorcery was at play. The enemy’s blade was enchanted.
Again came the chieftain with their blessed blade. Their horses panted heavily in the air, adding to the rattle of the chariot. Chaos swirled around them, but Leon silenced it. The world reduced to simply himself, his enemy, and the vanishing space between. He set his target, and waited for the space to entirely vanish. The beat of the horse’s hooves were set like a metronome. Then, at the precise beat, he shattered the rhythm. He drove his spear forwards into the knee of the Scythian horse. The spear’s wooden haft shattered from the force, but so did the stallion’s leg. It collapsed in a bloody heap, tangling its partner. The chariot crashed into its steeds, slaying both brutally. The chieftain and their driver were staggered, but grasped hold of the chariot and were not thrown.
Leonidas took fourteen calculated steps, moving around the wreck of the chariot, then stepping aboard. In a single motion he drew his blade and cut upwards. The driver fell back as a spray of blood erupted from his throat. He slumped over the front of the chariot, blood flowing to mingle with the horses. Leon whirled on the chieftain as a shout of rage came to their lips. He stepped in close, too close for his foe to swing their great blade effectively. Here, his short blade had the advantage, and the chariot cornered his target. He drew the blade back to his hip like he was knife-fighting, and thrust upwards towards the foe’s beast. The scaled armor of the Scythians was legendarily hard to slash through, but the overlapping scales that caused such strength were vulnerable to this exact kind of upwards thrust. But his canny foe knew the armor’s weaknesses just as well, and pivoted with agility to rival the warrior prince.
They slashed with their great falx, but the range was awkward, so Leon evaded. He then pivoted, taking his blade in both hands. Gritting through the pain of his wounded arm, he wheeled with a mighty blow. He put his back, legs, and both arms into a murderous strike too quick to evade. The Scythian chief recognized it, and ducked their head. Rather than suffering a decapitating blow, they took the hit on the crown of their helm. The gold gilding it deformed and parted, but this was by design. By using a coating of deformable gold above the bronze, the helmet could better absorb slashing attacks. The gold twisted as it was cut, catching the blade and altering the edge alignment. Leon cut though, but rather than burying his sword midway into his target’s skull, he cut apart the helm and left a relatively shallow wound along his foe’s scalp, running down their forehead and across their face. The lion helm split, and fell away. Leon looked the enemy general in the eye for the first time, and hesitated.
The helm fell away, and out spilled long, golden hair, now matted in places by blood. A fair face, with piercing blue eyes looked up at him. A warrior’s snarl covered her face, as the Scythian Queen recovered. She snapped up and slammed the hilt of her falx into Leon’s eye. The prince staggered back, blinking to recover, as she took a step back in turn. With this, she obtained her range, and cut down with her falx. Leon raised his sword to block, but the reverse curve of the unusual weapon made it difficult. His wound caused his arm to spasm, and the curve came around the sword. The enchanted blade bit ito the common one, then cast it away. Leon’s wrist was wounded in the exchange, and blood began to fill his gauntlet.
Leon realized his peril, and stepped in swiftly. He caught his foot behind hers, and pulled back as he slammed his shoulder into her. The queen fell back, but caught herself on the edge of her chariot so she did not fall. Leon pressed in, pinning her arm with his his hand so she could not swing. He drew his hunting knife, and it was at her throat in a moment. His grip was unsteady, as his wrist was wounded, and he felt an utter brute to have a knife at a woman’s throat. “Yield. I do not wish to harm you.” He ordered, uncertain if she could even understand.
The Scythian Queen laughed in his face. “You do not wish to harm me?” She asked through a thick accent. “Then you should never have come to the battlefield! Know that I am Tamur, Queen of the Scythians, no soft flower of the south that you might bruise with your breath. I am here to that I might crush my enemies, drive them before me, hear the lamentations of your pathetic women, and reap from your ruin the prosperity of my people. Slay me now you coward, or else you must yield, for I will slay you without mercy.” Clear and clarion was her voice, as Athena upon the battlefield or Artemis on the hunt. She feared neither death nor injury, and laughed in spite of the carnage all about them.
Leon held his ground and was not moved by her laughter or insult. “Hear me then, oh Queen of the Scythians. What is greater cowardice? To be slain for principle, or to breach principle for fear of being slain? You are a mighty warrior; this I cannot deny. But this is my principle, that no man is any man that slays a woman, even if she is a warrior. I bid you now yield, that we might bring peace between our people and an end to this meaningless conflict you have brought about.” He spoke with all respect due to a fellow warrior, and with the resolve of his own indestructible soul.
“Far be it from meaningless, warrior of the Hellenes. Would you not do anything, even go beyond the bounds of the earth for your people? Hear now my principle, that my people shall conquer that we might not be conquered. For you who are blessed with so much shall not offer a pittance to our meager tents. So we shall take, for this is the nature of things, that the prosperity of one must always be at the expense of another. This is the balance of the world, and it belongs to he who carries the sword.”
Then she snapped her head forward, and impacted with Leon’s helm. Headbutting a steel helmet with your bare, already wounded head is generally not a good idea. But she was braced, and he was not. The maneuver would have opened her throat, but Leon had held back his knife for his soul rebuked him to harm a woman. Needless to say this principle, while generally noble, was extremely foolish in this instance. Chivalry was certainly not on Tamur’s mind as she pushed him back, and kicked him in the balls.
Leon was wearing armor and greaves, but about his waist was more of a plated skirt than a codpiece. The introduction of a bronze boot to that region inflicted less damage than it might, but this was in the sense that his family line could continue, rather than full nullification. He staggered further back, agility shattered. Tamur lashed out with her falx, and Leon wisely rolled away.
Leonidas began pushing himself back to his feet, but a Scythian archer circled. Whether by skill or by luck, they let fly their arrow and it struck true into the gash their queen had torn in the prince’s armor. Leon gasped briefly in pain as the arrow hit under his shoulder plate and pierced the meat of his back. It went through to the rib, and cracked it. He felt his blood already burning as the poisoned arrow delivered its deadly payload into his veins. The meat of muscle across his back began to scream and spasm, dropping him back to the earth. He saw Tamur approaching, and grit his teeth to rise through the pain. He was too slow, the falx came up…
Then there was a rush of wind, a smell of sulfur, and the sound of bronze ringing against talon, then scraping against scale. Seramis had intervened. She swooped in, and her talon met the falling flax. The two mighty women’s blades rang against one another, then Tamur shifted the blade. She cut across the dragoness’s palm and wounded her, drawing blood as the enchanted weapon carved scale. Seramis retaliated by coiling her tail, then striking forth with it like a whip. The foot and a half long blade at the end of the tail met the barbarian queen’s guard, and drove her back. The blade of the falx shook and sang like a tuning fork.
Seramis lowered her head, and spoke with a voice tinged with fire. She spoke in the Scythian’s own language, a growl deep in her throat and fire on her tongue. “Have you not heard, queen of the Scythians, that one should not trifle with a dragon’s hoard? If not, then I will educate you. Come not between a daughter of Tiamat and her treasure. This is folly, and will be your ruin should you persist.”
Tamur heard the words of the dragoness, and looked once to the blood on her sword, and once to the flames in the maw before her. She saw the damage the hellenes had wrought on her vanguard, and the advance of their phalanx. She stepped back, and ordered a retreat. Scythian and Diluvian locked eyes as the queen boarded a new chariot, and swiftly they retreated from the battlefield.
Sera breathed a sigh of relief, and quickly turned to her prince. Leon had kept trying to get up, and managed to stagger to his feet. Gently, she took him in an unwounded claw, and bore him away. “Leon, please tell me you can hear me.”
“I can. Ow.” Leon replied, breathing slowly, and deeply, to keep his face and voice from twisting in pain. “What did you say to her?”
“Just a bit of theater to make her leave, don’t worry about it. You focus on not dying, oh chivalrous fool mine.”
“Hah. Tease me when I’m not dying, would you kindly? It hurts too much to laugh.”
“Maybe next time, don’t be such an idiot then.”
“Ah, but then how would you have an excuse to rescue me?”
“Please, we both know I don’t need an excuse to steal you away. I’ve done it before.” Sera teased, and Leon smiled through the pain.
Even as two of the trio of royals retreated, Cassandra remained. She saw the Scythians trying to quit the field, and that the ambush had not been successful enough. They had mauled the Scythian mobile element, but not utterly broken it. She sent an order for caution, for if they overpursued the wily Scythian general, she might turn and crush them in turn. Still, she would not allow her enemy to escape her wrath so easily. She cast again, and thunder boomed across the clear morning.
“Avataar”
“Poorvaj”
“Rosh”
The mists of early morning fled from the Hellenes, and ran down the Scythians. The retreating barbarians turned, and saw the mists gather together into a humanoid figure. Long curls of smoke came down from a scowling face, almost akin to hair. Winds howled like limbs to throw men from horse and chariot. Tamur quickly evaded as the growing titan of mist swung, clear blue eyes gleaming amongst the artificial cloud. Then the avatar drew back its hand, and lighting crackled into being. The heir of Olympus and last daughter of Zeus hurled down lighting bolts at the Scythians, reminding all why even with the thrones of Olympus long empty and ashen, they were still remembered in myth and legend.
Bolts of lightning mauled man and horse alike. Chariots fell away twisted and burning. Thunder terrified men and horses. Cassandra watched from the eyes of her avatar as she delivered the wrath of an angry god upon then. “I am the dread Queen of Macedon. I am the miracle of destruction. I am mankind’s answer to dragons, and you dare, YOU DARE! Come to my home, my kingdom, and hurt my people, and now you think you can simply run away?” The whisper grew to a roaring fury, bolts of lightning leaping from her eyes to slay yet more.
Then Tamur cried a loud challenge, and bid her driver turn the chariot. She charged at the avatar of mist and storm, raising her blade high. In rage, Cassandra cast down another bolt of lightning, but Tamur raised up her sword. The bolt caught the bronze blade, but did not rip down through into the queen. Instead, she turned and set herself, then cut the air. Lighting ripped back into the avatar, and cut it from crown to groin. There was a clap of thunder, and the avatar was banished.
Cassandra went flying back, caught by her men, but left dazed. A wound, thankfully shallow, had sprung from no apparent source, from her crown down the center of her body, even under her armor. She staggered upright, hands shaking violently. She reached for magic, but it was like a man who was concussed. It was there, but unstable, difficult to control, unreliable. The clean, efficient control she prided herself on eluded her. She drew in a breath, and clenched her fists to stop her shaking hand. Showing no pain from her wound, she watched as the scythians slipped out of her grasp.
“Where in the world did she get a sword that can cut the soul?” Cassandra wondered aloud. Then, heeding the insistence of her men, she retreated, and ordered the army to retire from the field. She growled as she made her way back towards the medical tents. “I hate dealing with other miracles.”

I am not a pro by any means. I’ve worked a bit in the industry as a photographer. I have done zero modeling. I have some woman and men in my family who do certain types of modeling and I will offer to shoot them for free as I typically do weddings and such.
This girl, who is a new friend of my girlfriend, wants to get into modeling.
I have no opinion on whether or not she has the ability to be a model, but she just doesn’t get it.
I offered to shoot her digitals. She declined saying she wants nature/city scape shots to send in. She said digitals “are only for online models.” I shit you not. I shiiiiit you not.
This is a girl who was very recently scammed for THOUSANDS over the course of last year. This nimrod still posts about her “agency” and how she plans to go back when she has money. She seems to have a sense that she was just one payment away from making it big.. She considers it an investment.
I know you can lead a horse to water, but has anyone made a horse drink that water?
I’m chalking it up to delusions at this point.
I’m marking this as “rant” cause that’s pretty much what I did.

I live in a neighborhood where the houses are older , but most of them have been worked on, and they are up kept. But my neighbor right next to me, their house looks like it should be condemned. Broken windows with plastic covering them, all the paint chipped off the siding, there's a barn in the back that looks like it could go any mintue. And junk upon more junk littering their front and back yard. Something happened last year with their pipes, and now they dont have running water. There's probably 60 to 70 feet between us where my shed and garage sit. I try not to pay them too much attention, but my garage sits right at the property line, so I'm not oblivious to what goes on at their place. I can hear the two adults fighting with each other pretty regularly, and her, the woman screaming and cussing at her kids. Neither one of the adults work, so they are generally outside milling about in their yard... doing what, I really don't know. They usually have people coming and going all day and night.
I actually went to school with the woman who lives there, and I know that she was into meth back then. And within the last year she was arrested for meth and felony retail fraud. Which is sad. She looks horrible physically, her teeth are rotted out, she looks grimy, she's loud and obnoxious, and worst of all they have 3 kids. Two girls who look to be between 8 and 12 and a 6 year old boy. So, the other day I was getting ready to mow my lawn, doing a walk through to make sure my kids didn't leave anything in the grass. As I'm walking through, I her her yell at one of the kids "that's not fucking free. Get in there". I look up, and see the two girls in one of those things you put water in for horses washing with dish soap. She then snatched the little boy up ripped his pants down and started beating his ass bare right there. I was kind of shocked. Especially since she had to have known that I was out there. And she didn't give a shit. I'm pretty bothered by the whole situation. And considering her criminal record and the condition of her house, I'm shocked CPS hasn't or isn't currently involved. I mean, to have your children bathe outside. To not have running water in the house. That's got to be horrible for those kids. Maybe I'm wrong, but it just seems neglectful to me.
I've contemplated contacting CPS for The things I've mentioned above. I don't think in Indiana that there is a law that says you have to have running water in your house. Maybe I'm being over critical and sticking my nose in places where it doesn't belong. I feel horrible for those kids. Like I said, I went to high school with this girl. I knew back then that she was into meth. I'm 38 now. That's a lot of years. And unfortunately in the area that I live in I know a lot of people who have destroyed their lives with that stuff. And just to see those kids in that environment is fuckin sad.
And my other concern is is that if I do call CPS and tell him what I saw, they will know it's me and retaliate. People like that tend to be unhinged, and I'm not home a lot of the time. I work 40 plus hours a week. My kids have sporting events, so most of the time I'm not home. My other neighbors are good people and if they did try something they would probably tell me but I don't know if I want to take the chance. I don't want to put me or my children or my dog in danger because unstable people are mad at me about something that really isn't my business... But I don't know. I don't know what to do. Like I said I just feel horrible for those kids. It's just not fair that they have to live like that. And be verbally and what seems to be physically abused by their ate up mom.
Sorry for the long post. Just been bothering me for the last week and I don't really know what to do. Thanks for any advice. I appreciate it.

On chapter 6 and was trying to get gold on that side mission where you take the man and woman from the two rival families and get them to the train station and then do the train escort mission. Got silver on first attempt so reloaded as I wanted the gold.
I get the gold on the second attempt. I whistle for my horse and the icon looks different. I go over and it appears for whatever reason my horse must have got itself run over by the train during the cutscene as it was dead with no way to revive.
Granted I hated that horse the amount of times it got scared and bucked me off into a pack of crocodiles or wolves, but at least the constant need to brush it is no longer going to annoy me. It was the horse you get for buying the ultimate edition and early in the game I got that striped Albanian horse or whereever its from, but you look so stupid sat on them due to them being so small. I might finish the remainder of the game on foot. Stupid horse, but I'll take the gold rather than having to redo that only for the horse to get itself killed again.

DO NOT COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS. I am NOT OP. Original post by u/OddDot5178 in AITAH
trigger warnings: possible transphobia, possible mental health issues, manipulation
​
NOTE: Because everyone will wonder, I am addressing this right now. While OOP's child identifies as non-binary, she uses "she/her" pronouns and presents as a female. This is why OOP refers to her as her daughter.

AITAH For Not Wanting To Raise My NB Daughter's Baby? - Feb 7, 2024
My daughter came to me at 16 and said she was non-binary, but only sometimes. Like, some days she would feel more male than female and some days she would feel like neither. She wanted me to ask her every day what day it was and then refer to her as that pronoun of the day.
I told her that wasn’t going to fly. Growing up, I spent a lot of time on LJ (Livejournal) during the ol’ ‘bun-self’ and ‘zen-self’ ‘zir-self’ days. People who think this is new to this generation are fooling themselves. I told her that I would call her the pronoun she wanted, and do my best to remember it day to day, but she was going to have to tell me what she wanted for that day. I wasn’t going to play a daily guessing game.
This went on for about a week or two until she finally seemed to grow tired or bored and just said I could call her ‘her’. Though she still identifies as non-binary. Fine. (At least when it was going on she wanted ‘she, he, or they’ — I’m sorry but I couldn’t have done fox-self/fox-them with a straight face).
So that’s the pronoun story and looking back where I think things started to go off the handle. Here’s my real question.
My daughter is now 18, pregnant, and seems to have lost her god damned mind. Or I’m an asshole. You choose.
This year has been a struggle. She wanted to take a break year before she goes to community college, but can’t keep a job. Apparently, retail situations are too phobic against her non-binary state. (My child looks/acts/dresses exactly as a young adult female btw. When I ask how people are being phobic against her, she gets as prickly as a cactus so I really don’t know the details.). She’s been through 4 or 5 jobs this year, quit all of them. She won’t consider call centers that aren’t face to face because she doesn’t like to talk on phones, and is apparently looking for a remote job without any luck.
She’s been unemployed since Thanksgiving (she quit her last job on Black Friday, in fact) and I was on the verge of laying down the law, telling her she either needs to go to school this upcoming semester full time or get a full time job or move out with her friends.
But now she’s come to me and she’s 5 months pregnant. She’s very angry at me, says it’s my fault because:

• I didn’t put her on puberty-blocking hormones when she came to me 2 years ago.
• She believes I am in fact trying to ‘feminize her’ by getting her birth control. (The pill.). She’s been throwing her prescription away.

This is where I might be the asshole. I called her a little idiot. We don’t use that sort of language in my house, and I never call people names — especially my own child — but at that moment I could just see red.
The hormone thing is a non-issue IMO because this is the first time I ever heard of her wanting hormones. What was I supposed to do? Go back in time?
As for the birth control! It’s also the first time I’m hearing anything about this! There are non-pill options that don’t have estrogen. If that was her want, all she had to do was ask and I would have driven her to the doctor myself! Or she could have taken the car she has and done it. She has her own medical card, even! Though to be fair, I don’t know how she would have managed the co-pay without a job. I know for a fact her old high school gave out free condoms like candy because her friends were always giggling over flavored sample packs and even blew a few of them up like balloons and left them around the house one time. She had all the birth control she could ever want and used none of it.
It gets worse.
We’re way past the date of abortion (again, I would have helped her if this had been her wish! We live in an abortion protected state and can afford it!). She’s known she was pregnant since about 2 months and has come to think of her baby like a sibling. She expects me to raise it like it was mine. That this is my duty, in fact, because she says it is my refusal to accept her non-binary state that led to her being pregnant. So she was going to get a brother or sister and I was going to have another child.
You can say my language grew … sterner to versions of ‘Get your head out of your ass’ and ‘Congratulations, mommy, you have some hard decisions to make’, and I said I would absolutely not raise her baby for her.
She also refused to say who the father was. Now that I’ve cooled down, I’m really hoping she has a secret boyfriend. She does have some friends who were born male, but now also don’t identify that way. We didn’t even get there as I lost my mind when she said she thinks of her own baby as a sibling and wants me to raise it like my own child.
She’s locked herself in her room loudly wailing, I feel like crap warmed over. She’s been in there for 12 hours, and as she has an attached bathroom, probably won’t be coming out until she gets hungry. Considering it’s been half a day I think she has snacks stored.
I also don’t know where to go from here. Being pregnant sucks and messes with your head, so I’d like to blame that and the fear she must be feeling, but … I have the bad feeling I either raised a spoiled brat or someone with an emerging personality disorder.
So I need to know from people who aren’t emotionally involved, and maybe some people who are more in tune with this whole nonbinary thing than I am.
What do I do to help while also making her responsible for her own child? How can I help my daughter accept she must do basically the most feminine thing you can do (give birth and possibly breast-feed) while being sensitive that she’s non-binary? Am I just a big asshole here?
Typing all this out it feels like my daughter is lost in crazy town. I'm still not raising her baby but at what point do I drag a legal adult to the hospital?
Edit: You might disagree with my choices or wording, but I'm reporting people who call this bait. It's not.
Edit2: It's the middle of the night and she has decided to pack some of her clothes and stay with one of her friends. (One who I suspect is the baby daddy). Before she left she told me that she already called the police and let them know that she was 'leaving of her own free will and was not in danger'. Like I was going to report an 18 year old adult as a runaway or something? It was insulting.
I told her she needs to work out details if she wants to adopt with the father, and she was welcome back home when she had a plan in place.
It was short because I heard her on the way out. I think she just meant to leave without saying anything.
Thank you for your kind comments and advice, Reddit. I'm going to sleep.
Commenters agreed that OOP's child wasn't thinking straight:
Comment 1:
NTA.
I hate to say this, but; I sincerely hope OP's daughter chooses to give up this baby for adoption, because she's a confused hot ass mess. I don't blame OP for not wanting to step on the crazy train and raise this baby.
Comment 2:
Let’s be honest: If OP says yes to raising this child as her own, it will be the first of several. Daughter won’t take BC, so she will continue to have unprotected sex and get pregnant. She decided a couple years ago that she’s NB, expected her mother to understand that and know everything about it, and is now rewriting history to blame her mom for her now being pregnant. My head is swimming, and she’s not my daughter! There will be more babies.
Comment 3:
NB here OP.
You are SO NTA. I feel sympathy for your kid because they sound like they are so confused, maybe have body dysphoria and are now facing a life altering situation with no way out. They must feel so trapped. So they turn on you. It's easier for them to yell at and blame you instead of accepting responsibility. They are looking for a way out. We all keep changing and growing and your kid is SO young they seem to not know who they are yet and now they have to face looking after a baby when they know deep down they can't even really take care of themselves.
But my GOD the thing they did that was really stupid was chucking BC away. That is actually wild. Your kid needs to learn the difference between gender enforced stereotypes and actual biology. With biology it unfortunately doesn't matter what gender you are, the biology doesn't care, it still works the same. They NEED to learn that and differentiate.
Like I said, NTA OP. What a shit situation. I hope it gets better. I really do.
Comment 4:
NTA, your child is in fact a little idiot, with behavior that would be an absolute nightmare had you not been their parent. Also birth control isn’t a form of feminization, it’s a form of responsibility when you’re born in a body with a uterus and want to have sex that can result in pregnancy.
OOP's response:
Ugh, I wish I had those words when she hit me with that one. I sort of sputtered for a few minutes.
Comment 5:
Oh man, this is a can of worms within itself.
I wish I had better advice but just...I feel for you and the position you are stuck in.
The ONLY thing I can think of is, referring to breast feeding as "chest feeding" might make your NB daughter accept it more.
But like...there's a whole other level of things you need to get through first.
First and foremost, therapy, ASAP for your kid. Because she needs to get her head sorted out. Assuming you will just take this kid and raise it for her is...problematic to say the least. And she's got a deadline coming obviously, so therapy ASAP.
Also appointment for pregnancy checkups asap!! Has she had any? An unmonitored pregnancy can lead to complications
You might also be able to get her a social worker to go through pregnancy checkups, birthing extra.
Your kid needs a big sit down conversation about accountability for your own actions. And about how she might feel like part of YOUR actions lead to this, there was also many many choices she could have made to prevent this, that she chose not too. And at the end of the day, it was HER choices that led to this, not you.
OOP's response:
Thanks for this tip. I've written it down. The reason I mentioned she was NB because using 'breast' instead of 'chest' is the exact type of thing to send her into a pissy-fit when she's in the wrong mood. I know this may sound like a little thing, but she's always been... well, dramatic.
Because it's the internet and things are anonymous I'll admit that I am absolutely dreading pregnancy and afterbirth mood swings. Especially since it will all involve very womanly things in every intimate way. On top of the sheer stress of a newborn? Yes, I'm not looking forward to it at all and am already preparing to endure the storms.
Our conversation wasn't productive (it was an argument and she's still not out of her room) but I don't think she has had any prenatal care. That will change if I have anything to do with it.
Thanks again.
OOP commented with some of her concerns:
Yes. My worry and regret have so many places to go and a big part of it is for the baby.
This has been a bad day. :(
Responding to a comment regarding her child's entitled attitude:
Oh believe you me I have been kicking myself up and down on top of everything else. I don't know how she got to this point, but she's there now.
I wish I did have that time travel machine she clearly expects me to have.
She also clarified her overall views on the matter:
I'm on the fence. If she acted at all like she didn't have a gender (I believe that's what NB is) then I could take it more seriously. But she dresses as a woman. She puts on makeup, wears dresses during the summer, enjoys feminine things? We watch horse videos on youtube and squeal over the new foal videos. She's never been a tom boy, even.
But I was like, okay this isn't hurting her. I'll let her have this and express herself. Maybe it'll turn into something, maybe it won't. And after the first few weeks, she even dropped changing pronouns every day.
Her mentioning being NB faded and then started up hard again when high school ended and she started working retail.
I try to be understanding. Retail is hell and I'd personally only work it again if I was at my last resort. But recently it does seem to be an excuse not to work. And now she has a baby on the way.
This may not be the place for it, but I'm just worried she's regressing to a more child-like state. I don't know if she's struggling with being NB or if she's using NB as an excuse to shield herself from the world. Ugh. I guess the internet won't know, but I'm just flat out worried.
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AITAH has no consensus bot but the comments were largely NTA.
​
Update: My NB Daughter Wants Me To Raise Her Baby - Feb 17, 2024
Hi,
This is an update to this post (Long story short my 18 year old NB daughter wanted me to raise her baby, and she told me she thinks the baby as her sibling. We had a blow-out, she locked herself in her room for most of a day, and then took off with her friends/her lover)
So this happened a few days ago but I didn’t update because I needed to get my head around it. It still doesn’t make sense.
Daughter finally unblocked me. She and the person who got her pregnant wanted to talk to me at a public place. We chose iHop.
Although I suspected I knew who her lover was, I was disappointed to find out because they have been a part of my daughter’s friend group since high school and was the only one I ever had a problem with and kicked out of my house.
They are trans now but two years ago the friend group was watching a movie in the living room, and every time I’d pass by, he (he was a he then) would lock eyes with me and make really obnoxious, loud, orgasm sounds like that scene in Harry Met Sally. I told him to knock it off and grew sterner when he did it again.
Then when I was in the kitchen, he somehow snuck up behind me and was miming jack-off movements with his hand. I turned around and caught him at it. He was still fully clothed, but it was startling and freaky. I kicked him out.
So now I’ll just call them Sperm-donor because that’s what they are.
I’m still calling my daughter ‘my daughter’ and ‘she’ because I still haven’t been told not to by her otherwise. So get off my case on that.
Anyway, the iHop meeting was a shit-show. Sperm-donor sat with my daughter and went on the attack. Sperm-donor’s points were:

• I was poisoning my daughter by “making” her take birth control. (I only helped her get the prescription and would have done everything I could if I knew she didn’t want to take the pill. There are other methods!)
• It will take years to “fix” my daughter after all I did. (Not giving her hormones even though I had no idea that was what she wanted. She dropped even wanting to change her pronouns after a few weeks.)
• Abortion is a sin and I am a monster for suggesting it. (It’s past the date anyway.)
• I am further abusing her by not taking care of the baby while she fixes herself. (I guess they meant it as a temp situation which was also new to me.)

So apparently even though I’m an abusive monster, a bad mother, and so on, I’m even worse for not taking in their baby. At least no one suggested that I raise it like my daughter’s sister anymore. That might have been my daughter’s thought on it.
Sperm-donor did most of the talking while my daughter just sat and glared at me, nodding along.
It was kind of a whirlwind, Sperm-donor pounded the table a few times, and even the waiter knew not to bother us after drinks, lol. I’m surprised we weren’t asked to leave.
There was a lot said, mostly by the sperm-donor who really seemed to be steering the ship. I asked why sperm-donor couldn’t take care of the baby and sperm-donor said their parents were even worse than me. I guess my daughter and sperm-donor taking care of the child they created is out of the question.
I told them that I would not be raising their baby for them and that adoption is the best bet. They said that if I don’t agree to raise it, they’ll make sure I’ll never see the baby ever.
I won’t raise their child for them. So that’s that, I guess.
I feel so many flavors of worried and angry and then worried all over again. I’ve been around the block and it’s never a great sign when the person you’re with makes an enemy of your family. That’s what sperm-donor has done by painting me as an abuser and failed mother who also won’t take in their baby. Sounds like sperm-donor has cut themselves off from their own family too. So I’m worried my daughter is in a very controlling relationship with someone who convinced her to stop birth control because they think hormones are too feminizing somehow and that she needs to be “fixed”. But they still want me to raise their baby.
I’m angry that my daughter can just hear this crap and nod along like, yeah, that makes total sense. She is not stupid. I think she’s love blinded.
I’m sad and worried for the baby. A couple commenters suggested I wanted nothing to do with the baby because I wouldn’t agree to raise it as my own. No, in a perfect world, I would want a normal grandmotherly relationship. Or at least know that the child is safe and has been adopted into a loving family.
I don’t care what my daughter does with her gender, or her body as long as she doesn’t hurt herself. I want her to be in a happy relationship with someone who values her for who she is. Sperm-donor kept using the word ‘fix’ which I see as another terrible sign.
It’s bad all around. My house is empty. It feels like my adult daughter has run off to join up with some weird church/cult thing who tells her that up is down. That not using birth control and not getting an abortion and then expecting others to take care of the child is all a-okay. Oh and that she’s a problem and needs to be “fixed”.
I texted her and said I would be there for her, but sperm-donor was still not welcome in the house. I think I’m blocked again.
She’s a legal adult. I’m not sure what else I can do at this point? In my low points, part of me thinks maybe I should agree to take the baby and then immediately make sure it’s adopted into a loving home. But I get the feeling that sperm-donor won’t make that easy, and right now my daughter does what he says. Also I’m not sure if that plan is even possible. It sounds Hollywood.
I have an appointment to speak with a councilor, but the soonest I could get is April. Some of my friends think I should take the baby in either to get them away from the parents or because they think it’s my duty, or both.
The only silver lining in this was that they both seemed sober. I don’t think there’s drugs involved.
Am I reading this wrong? Am I the asshole here?
Commenters agreed that sperm donor's comments made no sense, and that OOP's child was probably stuck in an abusive relationship:
Comment 1:
For your safety, I would change the locks and put up camera, Sperm-donor seems unhinged. I’m a firm believer in better safe than sorry.
Comment 2:
This baby will be used as a pawn in his never ending psycho drama. If they do not and cannot raise their baby, the best solution is adoption. Otherwise, the father will make your life a living hell.
NTA
OOP's response:
I couldn't figure out a polite way of saying this, but yes. That is my suspicion if I take in their baby. Sperm-donor implied it would be temporary while earlier my daughter said it would be permanent. I think sperm-donor will refuse to sign over paperwork when the time comes or try to leverage it in some way.
Comment 3:
NTA also it sounds like your daughter is in an abusive relationship with this person. Sorry your daughter has been brain washed by this crazy person. I would definitely contact this sperm donors family and if they seem sane warn them about how crazy both of spoke to you.
OOP's response:
That is my fear, and not a bad idea to contact sperm-donor's parents. This has all happened so far, I feel like I'm in shock and I'm very worried.
Comment 4:
Pretty wild that a trans person is saying abortion is a sin. None of this is anything like what you're going to hear from any healthy LGBT community, who are quite careful to make sure not to support people in delusional or antisocial behavior. Definitely get therapy, sounds like your kid has some serious mental health problems if they're being influenced by whatever wackos put these ideas into their head. You're going to need support in coping with this madness. NTA by a country mile. You are in no way "abusing" your kid by refusing to take responsibility for their bad choices.
OOP's response:
Thank you and yes, I don't want to minimize my daughter's role in it but the hard anti-abortion thing surprised me too. A lot of what they said contradicted itself. It felt like I was sitting across from two people who were in their own wacko bubble.
I know it's not a LGBT thing. I wish someone from their community would knock some sense into them, if its even possible at this point.
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OOP hasn't posted since the last update.
Reminder - I am not the original poster. DO NOT COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS.

When I saw this prompt I sat down and tried to write a story but I wasn't really satisfied with the result. Then my week got pretty hectic with work and I kinda let the story go until a sudden flash of inspiration hit me yesterday. So, here's my take on it. I hope you'll enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Cheers! :)

Original Prompt

A lone figure, clad in heavy armor, marched through an old forest forgotten by the world, searching for a glade found only in folk stories. Guided by the gentle sound of flowing water, the figure emerged from the woods to find itself standing before a creek, and its eyes were immediately drawn to a wide, flat boulder whereupon laid a young woman, clad in but a simple gray robe, enjoying the sun’s warmth. By the woman’s side, just beside the boulder, laid a similarly undisturbed stallion, its healthy black coat shining under the sunlight, and between the two of them, standing on the boulder, was a small basket of apples.
“Heratai,” the youth said, and the armored figure did its best to return the woman’s greeting in her own ancient tongue. The woman smiled, appreciating the effort. “Please, join me,” she said, slowly in her language, and the figure complied.
“My apologies,” the woman said as the knight sat on the ground beside the stone. “I haven’t bothered to keep up with the evolving language for some time now,” she continued, then sat up and turned to face the armored figure.
“I know what you’re here for, sir knight” she said, then grabbed an apple from the basket. “You fought your way through a forest that monsters call home, proving both your strength of will and strength at arms,” she continued, and reached out with her hand, offering the fruit to the knight. “But the question that concerns me the most is why you’re here."
The armored figure took the apple with one hand before removing its helmet with the other, revealing first the grizzled beard and then the grizzled hair of a man underneath. “I seek the fountain of youth,” he said, and the woman smiled, reaching into the basket again and taking an apple for herself. Taking a bite out of it, she continued.
“That’s what you’re here for,” she reminded him. “But why are you here, sir knight?”
The knight regarded the young woman in silence for a few moments. “Great men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit under,” the man finally said, and the woman nodded in return.
“So the proverb goes,” she agreed, taking another bite.
“Throughout my life I have tried to do good through words and deeds,” the knight continued. “Would it be so selfish of me to ask that I may get to sit under the shade of the trees I planted?”
The woman smiled. “I think, sir knight, that the greatness of those men lies in their selflessness, wouldn’t you agree?”
The knight considered the woman’s words for a moment. “Perhaps you’re right. But the passage of time often brings wisdom with it. Agelessness could bring eternal wisdom, and with eternal wisdom one could plant entire forests rather than mere trees.”
“Wisdom is relative, sir knight, and eternity is a very long time,” the woman replied. “Everything will change around you, but you shall remain the same. The values you hold now will be no more than relics of the past by tomorrow’s dawn. What good will your wisdom be, then, when it holds others back? What good will your forest be if it becomes a prison of thorns, wood, and branches?”
“To witness that change would a gift in and of itself,” the knight answered. “To see history unfold before my eyes, to witness the creation of new art and the birth of new ideas, to see-”
“-everyone that you ever meet grow old, wither, and die,” the woman interjected. “To hold the hand of your wife in her deathbed. To see the age-stricken bodies of your sons and daughters in their coffins. To be a permanent thing in a sea of change, until the weight of your sorrow becomes so unbearable that you teach yourself to never love again,” the woman said. Then, after a few moments, she turned towards the stallion, reached out with one hand towards it, and stroked its coat for a while, a melancholy smile forming on her lips as she did so, while with her other she fed the rest of the apple to her companion.
The knight, meanwhile, remained silent. Setting his apple by his side, he thought carefully on his response before continuing with a question. “Why,” he began, “shouldn’t everyone share in the gift of eternal youth? Why shouldn’t we all be free of the ravages of old age?”
“Free to toil eternally in the fields, under the harsh sun, and in the mines, and in the forests. To forever work over the anvil and the millstone, the clay wheel and the loom, never to retire. Eternal humans, maintaining an eternally stagnant civilization,” the woman said. Then, she patted the stallion and it stirred, lazily, from its nap, rising to its feet. The woman followed suit, standing up on the boulder, and extended her hand towards the man in armor with a soft smile on her lips, helping him stand up.
The grizzled knight looked up into the woman’s eyes for a few moments, then nodded. “It seems that you must be here to stop me, then, from making what you’ve deemed to be a mistake,” he said, softly resting one hand at the hilt of his sword.
The woman shook her head, still smiling, unbothered by the knight’s movement. “No one can stop you at this point, sir knight,” she replied. “No one except you.” Then, the woman climbed unto the horse in a single, smooth move, and took a few moments to settle on the horse’s back before addressing the knight once more.
“Time is precious, sir knight, because we have so little of it. Had it been plenty, we wouldn’t value it half as much,” she said, then rode past the stream, disappearing into the woods.

In which mostly polite things are said, and yet, so much might have been said.
Synopsis:
After Albert's other friends have left, he takes Monte Cristo to his attic where he stores all his treasures. There, MC continues to delight him with his worldliness and knowledge. MC also notes a portrait of a Catalan woman, looking quite in the fashion of her people, staring longingly out to sea. Albert tells that he loves the portrait of his mother, but it caused some strife between his father and her when she first had it commissioned.
Leaving with Albert, Monte Cristo arrives at the home of the proper Count de Morcerf. He notes the heraldry seems to be of the old kind, and not the new kind. [I confess I was a bit out of the loop on all the significance there.] This seems to imply that their family is truly connected by blood to an old family, which was mentioned before, and they are not some new money aristocrats -- which they most definitely must be, considering Fernand is also a Catalan!
MC is introduced to Morcerf and flatters him properly, then Mercédès comes in and she is strongly affected by seeing MC. Although words are said between them, not much other than thanking him for saving her son is said, then MC is off to his new home and with his shiny new sportscar horses.
Once he is gone, Mercédès is quite stricken. She questions Albert then admonishes him to "beware." But Albert dimisses thiis and she gives in.
Finally we see MC order around Bertuccio in a casual way, and spread the money around with the Notary. However, we get a hint that the house he bought is actually a key part of the grand plan.
Discussion:

1. Fernand appears to be mis-representing his pedigree, not dissimilar to how MC is also misrepresenting his. What do you make of this development and the parallelism of this?
2. Put yourself in Mercédès' headspace. What do you think she was thinking?
3. MC seems to be "in character" most of the time. That whole scene with Bertuccio... real? Or just a way to build his reputation?

Next week, chapters 43 and 44!

I just woke up from having this strange almost nightmare. I died. In my dream, I think. Or I ended up in a coma. It started out with me trying to drive home when there was a sudden tornado? I remember I had to go to some form of bar or some food place to seek shelter or something because I was too far to make it home. And after walking into the bar and asking if I could seek shelter with them, I blacked out and woke up as a cat? Like, a hairless cat? I do not own a hairless cat, but my family did in my dream. I was trying to communicate to them that they needed to help me find my body. And finding it incredibly frustrating to do so. Obviously 😅 I ended up having to frantically search for a pen or pencil and somewhere to write. Somehow, I was able to get them to understand that I was indeed not the cat, and needed help desperately. My family started to make what resembled an ouija board so I could spell out words. Meanwhile, memories were flooding back to me of what I think happened while I was blacked out. I also could not shake the feeling of being cold and wet. But maybe that’s what a hairless cat feels like, I dunno. One of the memories that came back was what happened at the bar. I think something from the tornado was thrown and had hit my head as I walked in. Somehow, I think I was saved and was just resting in a Hospital because I remember seeing flashes of an ambulance crew, but specifically a woman’s face. I was not able to recall the name of the bar, only what it looked like. I remember it having different animals on the outside. Which felt ironic somehow. But it looked almost kid-ish. And very country at the same time? There was a pig, a horse, a cat, and some other ones… they looked like masks or just the cartoonish heads of them on the side. A very unique appearance. Should not have been hard to find. I also remember it being close to a junkyard or impound lot. Something with cars. And either a water reservation thing or a water facility/dam-like structure in the distance.
I woke up before my family could find my body :/ And my family is not my current existing family, I don’t live where tornadoes happen, and I wasn’t my physical self, I was someone else. The only thing that remained the same was the car I was driving.
Feel free to try to interpret this! It doesn’t resemble any media or anything I watched or read today, so I have no idea where it’s coming from. I tried to google but could not find anything helpful.

Hi everyone,
Here's the summary/outline for the second half of Day 2 of Safe House. Sorry again for the length; they did a lot of talking-based activities today, and I wanted to try to translate and explain a good portion of it for you all. Hope this helps!
Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/live/GkCLXss5hHI?feature=shared

• They're relaxing and playing Uno when we join them
• 15:30 PD asks Earth to go collect some snacks from the front door (sponsored by Snack Jack)
• 18:30 Earth starts reading the directions for the next medal game (also sponsored by Snack Jack. King of the Day divides everyone into two teams of 4. Each team in charge of "protecting" one flavour of Snack Jack. One person from Team A will sit blindfolded and try to protect the Snack Jack while all members of Team B will have two minutes to try to retrieve the Snack Jack while wearing bells on their bodies to make their movements louder. The blindfolded person can order everyone in Team B to move and stop, and each time they call stop, they have the opportunity to make one shot with a water gun. If they successfully hit a member of Team B, that person is eliminated from the competition. If someone from Team B successfully retrieves one bag of Snack Jack, opens it, and eats one piece, then Team B wins. If this has not been completed within the two minutes, Team A wins. The person with the water gun can only shoot up to 10 times in total during the 2 minutes. The team positions will change and they will play again. If both teams successfully steal, the team that steals the soonest within the 2 minutes wins. Winners get one medal each
  • 20:15 Luke decides to pick his team based on the three lowest-scoring people on the ranking board, hoping that he can help carry them to a victory and help them get one medal
  • 23:00 They go to the play zone/pool area and start strategising. Team B will attempt to steal first, and Luke will be the blindfolded person from Team A. There's some brief confusion about which flavoucolour each team is supposed to protect and steal.
  • 28:30 PD helps to go over the rules one more time and serves as the referee. Everyone on the stealing team needs to start by touching one of the walls of the room. Blindfolded person has to spin five times before the game begins.
  • 31:30 Luke didn't know that the eliminated people have to go stand behind him, so he mistakenly shoots Mix, but it doesn't count
  • 38:00 The next stealing team is strategising, and PD says that they have 15 more seconds to talk before they have to take their positions.
  • 40:00 The protecting team's "cheering" is a bit suspicious. PD asks them to be quiet, but they don't listen
• 46:00 Dinner. Menu includes soy sauce chicken with rice, pad gaprao beef with dried chili, pork gyoza, and banoffee pie for desert (in the fridge). They decide to eat directly out of the containers so there will be fewer dishes to wash. As usual, there's some awkwardness at the beginning because everyone wants to eat, but they want to think of something to talk about so the audience don't get bored
  • Dinner highlights: 55:00 They decide to exchange ghost stories tonight. Neo asks Luke if ghost stories is as much of a thing abroad as it is in Thailand. He says that he has one friend who has a personal ghost story that he can share: When Luke's friend was around 7, he was running around another friend's basement when he ran into an elderly woman doing some laundry. He later asked the parents of the house who that lady was, and they said that there's no one there, but they had an elderly maid years ago who died. So after that, the friend didn't like to go into basements anymore.
  • 58:45 Earth asks why Western ghost stories always seem to take place in attics or basements
  • 1:02:00 The guys ask if Luke has heard of the type of Thai ghost that wears old-style ceremonial clothing and does Thai traditional dance (considered very creepy).
  • 1:06:00 They bring dessert to eat outside. They get inspired to start playing on the large floating rafts in the pool while still clothed, and PD warns them to at least take off their mic packs first if they're going to do that
  • 1:14:30 They snack on some items from the seafood fridge, and then relax for a while in the area in front of the medal board. Pond gives some dance pointers.
  • 1:26:00 Some English/Thai lessons. They discuss how the direct translation of the Thai term for "living room" means "room where you sit leisurely" (or if you translate it even more literally like how Luke does, it translates to "room where you sit down and play"). Neo struggles a bit and blames it on Luke "unclear pronunciation." Luke gives some sentences for Neo (then Earth and Gun) to translate to Thai
  • 1:29:45 They think about what else to do, and they suggest several traditional Thai games, one of which is the "live fish/dead fish" that I explained previously. The topic of being blindfolded comes up, and they mention that when Luke was playing the Snack Jack game, he handled the water gun as if he were a cowboy. They start playing the live fish/dead fish game, but PD intervenes and invites them to come play the next medal game
• 1:38:30 Medal game (sponsored by the black inhalers). King of the Day will pair everyone up. Each pair will be tied together at the waist and hands, and all the pairs need to walk around the house together in order to try to find the two random mystery items somewhere around the house that have been scented with the peppermint scent of the black inhalers. The two pairs that find these two mystery items will get one medal each. Some of the pairs struggle a bit because they were smelling the inhalers too much at the beginning, so everything was smelling like peppermint to them.
• 1:51:30 Relaxing time
  • 1:55:45 Since everyone is planning to take a shower, Pond is a bit lazy to shower, and he s that his says uncle once told him that if your heart/soul are clean, your body is automatically clean, so he might use that excuse. He wants to go downstairs to make a Thai omelette (a little extra salty), but since he didn't shower in the morning, he'll shower first and then go make food.
  • 2:03:00 Small jam session in the larger bedroom
  • 2:22:00 Pond and Phuwin wish a happy birthday to P'Golf if he's watching
• 2:26:00 They do a game/activity where you answer questions and then the book will interpret aspects of your personality based on your answers. Gun reads the questions and interpretations, and the rest of the guys choose which option they want from each question
  • General statement: the answer choices are numbered 1-3 or 1-4. The numbers in Thai are 1=neung, 2=song, 3=saam, 4=see, so maybe you can hear which options each person is talking about when they're deciding which fits best with each person. Sometimes Gun also reads them as A, B, C, D.
  • 2:27:00 Question 1: When you sing karaoke with your friends, what type of song do you choose?
    • Rock: don't feel the need to overcompensate to express your uniqueness or individuality
    • Current chart hits: (Gun didn't read it because no one chose it)
    • Old songs: wants to be different/unique. You're a bit dramatic sometimes and sometimes it's like you're in a drama/lakhorn
    • Don't like to karaoke: Really wants to be unique/different. You might not be good at singing, but for the things you're good at, you're so good that people around you will compliment you and grow your ego even further
  • 2:33:45 Question 2: When you go to a roadside noodle stall, how long will you wait until you start to get a little impatient about the wait time? (as a qualifier, they make their decisions based on the assumption that the restaurant is not that crowded)
    • 3 minutes: No one chose it, but Gun read that it means that you are a bit selfish and you prioritise your needs and feelings over others'
    • 8 minutes: you have some patience (~50%). You can do a pretty decent job with enduring hardships and uncomfortable situations
    • 12 minutes: patience level ~90%. You might have a hard time believing in yourself or standing up for yourself
  • 2:37:30 Question 3: Close your eyes and imagine a bunch of flowers. What colour are these flowers? (at first, some of them didn't think of any of the listed options, or they thought of multiple colours). The guys made comments throughout this question that the interpretations were either not accurate, or that they seemed unnecessarily harsh. Hahaha. [also, this was quite a difficult question for me to translate because a lot of the words and concepts mentioned are quite specific in Thai and don't have direct/clean translations to English, but I tried to keep the translation as concise as possible, so I apologise]
    • Red: You have a high level of confidence/pride (90%). You put your full effort into everything and want to demonstrate your abilities and power. However, your level of confidence might turn out to be a bit of a curse because others won't want to be close to you
    • Purple: Confidence/pride 50%. You can think a little highly of yourself sometimes. You can hold grudges for a long time. You are probably talented in the arts.
    • Yellow: Confidence/pride 40%. You can change your mind easily and quickly. You're a little idealistic. Stay humble, and your self-confidence will grow naturally with your achievements
    • Blue: no one chose it
  • 2:42:20 Question 4: Imagine a person in your head who you might want to go and get to know (they also comment throughout that some of these interpretations are harsh or inaccurate. Like the further along in the game they get, the worse they feel about themselves. But then they realise that the name of the book they're reading means "Why is your heart cruel?" and the moral of the book is that everyone has some non-ideal qualities, etc.)
    • Colourful: no one chose it
    • Clean/classic/neat: The person in your imagination doesn't get lonely easily. They can be stubborn and demanding.
    • Trendy fashion: The person in your imagination likes to change to fit in with people around them. They get lonely easily
    • Own individual style: The person in your imagination gets lonely only sometimes. They can be serious/intense and can pull some energy from those around them
  • 2:47:40 Question 5: You're at a restaurant with a romantic partner, and you're both full. Someone brings a dessert for your romantic partner that happens to be a favourite dessert of yours. What does your partner do? (They found the question confusing, so they changed it to ask what they themselves would do. But then there was confusion about who was the person bringing the dessert, like if it's a potential romantic competitor or just the restaurant employee, etc. They never fully understood the question or agreed on the conditions of the hypothetical situation. It wasn't until Gun started reading the interpretations that they started to understand that the point of this question is basically to anticipate how likely you are to cheat in a relationship. It's not clear to anyone because the question isn't worded well, but they're interpreting it as if a potential romantic competitor handed a dessert to your romantic partner. If your partner eats it, then I suppose it means that they're not being faithful to you because eating the dessert means that they're showing the competitor that they have a chance? It's honestly a poorly worded question, and everyone was still confused at the end)
    • Don't touch it at all
    • Try it a little bit ("nit neung" in Thai so you guys can understand what they're discussing)
    • Eat half of it
    • Eat all of it
  • 2:55:30 Neo reads Question 6: if you and a romantic partner are feeding animals, which animal would you both choose to feed?
    • Snake: no one chose it
    • Tiger: You do everything fully; if you want to do something, you do it. You might prefer romantic partners who are older than you
    • Elephant: You are chill and easy-going. You hope that you can find someone supportive
    • Monkey: You prefer to be friends first before becoming romantic partners
  • 2:59:00 Question 7: If you're travelling out of town with someone you're romantically interested in, which method of travel do you choose? (it doesn't specify how far you're going)
    • High-speed train: Your prospective partner wants you
    • Train: no one chose it
    • Car: You and your partner want to get to know each other better
    • Plane: Your partner wants you to be more bold and wants to spend more time with you
  • 3:02:00 Question 8: If you and a romantic partner are walking up a mountain to admire a view together, what view would you most want to see? (this question is more explicit than they're openly talking. They're basically talking about sexual preferences and making innuendoes, but censoring as they go)
    • Sunrise
    • Another mountain
    • City scape
    • A cloudy/foggy cover scene
• 3:06:00 Relaxing time. Pond still wants Thai omelette like he did before, so he and Phuwin go to the kitchen to make one.
• 3:15:30 Fan Talk
  • Group 1 Highlights: Most of them stayed up late talking last night because they haven't seen each other in a while. Mix slept earliest and also woke up one of the earliest. Their throats are still sore from the chicken sounds competition from the morning. They playfully tease Luke about being King of the Day, like how it's easier for people in larger bodies to make louder sounds, and also that apparently American chickens sound weird. They mention how he was thoughtful to pick the three lowest-scoring people to be his team later so he could try to help them get a medal. They recapped the black inhaler game and said that the ones who smelled them too much before starting the game couldn't smell anything because the smell was lingering too strongly in their noses. Neo also talks about how the others pranked him to push him into the pool earlier. They're feeling increasingly more comfortable with each other, so they're looking forward to seeing how their relationships develop throughout the rest of the week. At around 3:22:00, Neo mentions that before, he thought Mix was quieter and "cooler" than how he's shown himself to actually be these two days. They are a bit surprised at Luke as well because he can switch between super playful moods and super serious moods when it's time for competition because he really wants to win. They all agree that Khaotung is the "dark horse" because he's more quiet and low-profile but he's one of the highest scorers. They enjoyed the Snack Jack game a lot, and around 3:26:00 they make fun of way Luke handled the water gun; it made them feel like they were in a thriller film. The second defending team tried to defend their "cheering" to help Earth when he was blindfolded
    • Fan Comments: They wanted to hear Khaotung more. They ask about things they might have forgotten to bring, and Neo said that he brought only four pairs of underwear for the week. Khaotung admits that he was a fan of Gun's before joining GMMTV. Fans complimented Neo's humour and requested more jokes. Someone said that they looked like four cats, so they tried to synchronise their head movements to look like a group of cats. Fans said that Gun was cute with his childhood blanket.
  • Group 2 Highlights (3:38:15): They made fun of Neo for not exercising with Luke, but he said that at least Neo woke up and went down, but he only exercised a little before giving up and going back to sleep. They agree that Neo is the life of the house, and the experience would probably be a lot less exciting or entertaining without him. Luke enjoyed being King of the Day, but he was a little frustrated that he and Earth didn't find the scented toilet paper in the black inhaler game because they walked past it but couldn't smell it. They all really enjoyed the Snack Jack game, and again, they said that Luke looked so cool and intense when he had the water gun. Luke learned that he always pointed the water gun correctly initially, but he kept second-guessing himself and moving his aim before shooting. They're all finding the house and the environment easy to adjust to, and they're all feeling happy. They're all playfully perplexed by how much energy Neo has, and they also agree that Khaotung is the dark horse. At 3:47:00, Pond and Earth bond over the fact that in all GMMTV competitions they've every participated in, they've always scored very lowly. Earth says partially jokingly that he has sometimes gone home and asks, "Am I just truly not good?" They have faith that Pond can perform well in any activity with a physical component (especially dancing), and Mix and Gun are probably best at activities that require cunningness/craftiness.
    • 3:50:00 Fan comments: Luke tries to answer an English comment, and he successfully translates them to Thai. Luke and Phuwin give statements in English. People ask when they're going to finally play a full game of "live fish/dead fish." People make fun of Pond for being lazy to shower, and he reiterates the saying his uncle told him about having a clean heart/soul. They also address the comments asking for English subtitles. They say that Mix eats the most in the house, but he gains a lot of happiness from food. They hope that they'll have the ghost story session tonight.
• 3:58:00 Relaxing/leisure time. Gun and Khaotung are making crispy fried shredded imitation crab with truffle salt.
  • 4:06:30 Pond, Neo, and Luke play darts. Phuwin joins later. Luke explains the rules to Khaotung.
  • 4:19:00 Phuwin plays around a bit with a guitar. Others later join to sing a bit. Khaotung and Luke continue playing darts.
  • 4:34:30 Gun and Earth play with one of the cameras. Neo joins.
  • 4:42:00 Neo, Luke, Khaotung, Gun, and Earth play Uno [sorry, I don't know the rules]
  • Gun and Phuwin make some noodles and share them with the guys around 5:09:00
  • 5:13:00 Khaotung and Phuwin make a different type of instant noodle and discuss their preferred ways to prepare instant noodles
• 5:29:00 Ghost stories
  • 5:30:00 Pond's story: A story of a friend of his. It takes place in a dormitory that is next to a temple. They keep interrupting him, so Pond keeps repeating the phrase "dormitory next to a temple" many times, which makes everyone laugh and continue interrupting him. Pond's friend was living with a roommate, and the roommate had to pray in the evenings. Pond's friend was on the top level of a bunk bed, but every night, he heard the roommate sit almost like they're praying, but they're always facing an empty chair like they're talking to someone. One day, the roommate asked Pond's friend if he could sleep on the upper bunk with him, and Pond's friend was confused but agreed. At night, Pond's friend heard a voice asking if the bedroom was full yet and whether another person could come sleep. (There's a belief in Thailand that if you hear voices talking to you in the night, you shouldn't reply to them or engage with them). They sat up and looked around, and there was no one else in the room who could have asked that. After that, Pond's friend wanted to move to a different room/dormitory.
  • 5:34:30 Add-on to Pond's story; takes place in the same dormitory building. The guys jokingly ask if it was next to a temple before letting him continue. There was a small room/passageway inside that they believed was a passageway for ghosts. Every day at 02:00, people will hear knocking sounds and sometimes door slamming from that area. These sounds even continued when the students were mostly away at their homes. A few times, things were falling off of shelves. The remaining students investigated but couldn't find anything. In that room/area, there was a closet/wardrobe with a mirror next to the bathroom. In the mirror, they could see a woman sitting hunched over in the bathroom, but they couldn't see anything when they turned to look directly in the bathroom.
  • 5:39:00 Earth's story. Earth tells Mix to tell it instead because he's better at storytelling. Once Mix was at the house of a friend of his (implied to be Earth's house). He was showering upstairs, when he heard someone opening and closing a door. He later asked the owner of the house, and they said that they never went upstairs because they were sleeping downstairs. Mix demonstrates the walkway to enter the bathroom/powder room, and how when you can see the mirror immediately upon opening the door. One time, Mix opened the door and saw a man standing. At 5:41:50, PD pranks them by playing a loud slamming noise to scare them. Mix continues the story: The man he saw walked straight into the area outside of the bathroom and disappeared into some of the furniture.
  • 5:43:20: Add-on to Earth/Mix's story. A different day, someone came to collect Mix at the house. The person who came to collect Mix at the house saw someone standing by the front of the house when they arrived, but at that time, Mix and the owner of the house were still sleeping inside. Quick additional story: Mix was in the bathroom once, when he heard someone trying to forcibly enter the bathroom. He opened the door and saw nothing.
  • 5:45:30 Earth's story: He went with a friend on a vacation where they stayed in a two-bedroom bungalow that was made of wood, including the furniture. Earth was having trouble sleeping, and at one point, he heard some noises. He tried to sit up to investigate, but he couldn't move anything in his body. In his peripheral vision, he heard a woman (he's basically describing sleep paralysis). He starts praying a bit and slowly, his condition improves until the vision of the woman disappears and he's able to move.
  • 5:49:00 Neo's story: He sets the story in his old school without saying the name, but he mentions so many descriptors like the location, history, etc., that everyone makes fun of him that it's clear which school it is already. He was staying in an athlete's dormitory. The badminton players used to have ghost storytelling sessions where they would talk about the ghost of that building. People would see a person in a white outfit on the stairs, specifically on the flight of stairs on the fifth level. (there are two sets of stairs, one on each short side of the building, and there's a small passageway where if you wanted to, you can pass to the opposite stairwell. This passageway was the haunted one on the fifth level, so people were afraid to look or walk though that area. Neo didn't believe the stories, but one time, during the regular evening dormitory inspections (around 22:00 every night), the inspector was passing by. Neo's bedroom was in a location where the walkway outside that section had a dead end, so you could only walk in one direction and then walk back the other direction in order to leave. Therefore, the boys always waited for the inspector to pass by the window twice before they knew that the coast was clear for them to continue talking, playing on their phones, etc. However, this time, the inspector only passed by the window once. The boys waited in silence for the second passing, but it never came, so eventually four of the boys decided to open the door and look for the inspector. They looked toward the end of the hallway where the person must be if they haven't walked back past the window again, but there was no one there, so everyone wondered who that must have been who walked past the window once and disappeared.
  • 5:56:45 Mix's story: In his house outside of Bangkok, the structure used to be a small apartment building but got turned into a house. Mix's father bought it, split it in half, and rented out the other half. When Mix was younger, he was watching television with the room door ajar (his room was next to the head of the stairs). The light from the TV could illuminate the area outside of the door. One day, outside his door, he saw an elderly lady dressed in a traditional dress of Northern Thailand. Mix followed her out onto the stairway until she disappeared. The next day, Mix told his father about it, and his father stoically told Mix that the previous owner of the house was an elderly lady who died by falling off the stairs and breaking her neck. Apparently in the other half of the house they were renting out, the tenants tended to not stay long before moving out. At one point, a friend of Mix's father rented the half of the house for a short lease, and the friend said that he kept hearing and/or seeing a male walking around the house, even though he lived alone.
  • 6:02:00 Phuwin's story: he lives in a Chinese-style house, and this was during a Chinese festival. Phuwin's father lit some incense to pray around 16:00 (late afternoon). (usually incense sticks take a couple of hours to burn out). That night, a little after midnight, Phuwin's father felt like something wasn't right, so he went down to investigate. In Phuwin's house, people usually go upstairs around 22:00 and don't really come down for anything. Phuwin's father saw that the incense he lit >8 hours prior were still smoking, and as he looked at the incense, they caught in flame (incense are supposed to just smoke until they run out, not be actively on fire). So Phuwin's father thinks a ghost was warning him to come and put out the incense so the house wouldn't catch fire, but it was still very strange that the incense was burning/smoking for >8 hours.
  • 6:05:00 Everyone says goodnight to the viewers

Hello,
I said in a previous post that Anna did not like her life as a princess, and I am going to explain my reasoning why. Also, warning, I ended up also talking about how Anna and Kristoff match.
First, is because of the established world that Frozen is set in. Arendelle is meant to be taken very realistically. It makes itself out more like a real life kingdom, rather then a fairytale one. And because of this, the rules of being royal and what is expected of a princess or queen is very well established.
Royalty is meant to act perfect, and to be the leaders, whose main job is to host balls, look good, and sign documents. They are not allowed to show their flaws and they are not meant to mingle with common folk. Anna is none of these. She is clumsy and ungraceful, and does not eat properly, and she just wants to have fun with people. She does not know how to act with other people, especially when it comes to customs. She almost missed Elsa's coronation and did not even know where to stand when she was introduced.
A lot of people love Anna as the clumsy princess, but you need to understand, that in the world of Frozen, Anna is a laughing stock.
Then there is the deleted plotline of the Heir and the Spare, with the song "More then Just the Spare". Now this song and plotline was dropped, but the song has been stated by the creators to be what helped establish Anna's character, and they even perform it on tour, while the plotline might have been canceled, it is still very much shown in the movie just not fully delved into.
When it comes to the plotline the Heir and the Spare, it was all about how Elsa was the perfect heir, and Anna was the useless spare. This was all about how Arendelle viewed the two sisters, and how that view changed as they grew to understand them. Elsa was not the perfect heir as they perceived. She was scared and flawed, who also liked to play and did not want to always be perfect. She was human just like everyone else, and Arendelle realized this and embraced her in the end, excepting her even if she was not their ideal perfect queen. And as for Anna, they viewed her as the screw up princess and just ignored her. But at the end, they realized she was not useless, and was the one who saved them in the end, giving them a new found respect for her.
At the end of Frozen, Arendelle had loosened itself up when it came to their strict view of royalty. Elsa was more allowed to be herself and interact with her people more. however, just because Arendelle is no longer strict, does not mean that royalty is not still held to a high standard, and other kingdoms also have not changed, and Arendelle has obviously been shown to have relationships with many other kingdoms.
The thing is, Anna does not even try to act like a princess.
The shorts and film have never shown her really in a position of authority. The closest is when she runs after Elsa and leaves Hans in charge.
Now, Anna might have the education of royalty, but that does not mean she likes it or is even that good at it.
Anna has never been shown to like the life of a princess. She might like a few of its privileges, but not the costumes and other things.
For instance, Anna likes picnics and not tea parties. And she would rather ride her horse all day instead of talking with nobles. I also don't think she likes balls either. The fancy ones with nobility.
In Frozen 1, when Elsa is coronated, I already pointed out how Anna did not know how to act or even where to stand. The moment she started to hang out with Hans, she pulled him into doing a bunch of activities that had nothing to do with the ball, or even would be acceptable of royalty.
The only thing I can see Anna liking about balls is all the dancing. But like Kristoff, Anna would not like all the customs and fancy talk. She herself does not do any fancy talk. The difference from Kristoff though, is that Anna at least has been trained in the customs.
What Anna likes is actually festivals, because festivals involves the commoners and not the nobility. She wants to go out on the streets and help bake pies, or help catch a pig, and to set up all the ribbons, and then to run around all night trying food and dancing on the streets and having fun with her people and loved ones. Kristoff also has been shown to like festivals as well. At the beginning of Frozen 1 we see him happily celebrating Elsa's coronation with the rest of the citizens, and he enjoyed himself in FF and OFA.
I also will mention that FF and OFA, are both festivals, and not balls. They are parties that involve the people of Arendelle and not anything about the politics.
Anna is just not cut out for the royal life style, and she is so bad at it that she does not even try to act royal most of the time, but at the end of the day, she is still a princess. In "More then Just the Spare", Anna comments that she is the screw up princess and also says this "I am not part of the town, not born to be queen, just somebody hopelessly in between". Anna might be a hopeless princess, but she is still a princess, so she was not able to connect with her citizens either, because she was still royalty to them.
Here is also another sad thing. No one wanted to marry Anna either. Hans says that no one got anywhere with Elsa and that is why he approached Anna instead. This means that despite the isolation Elsa was still receiving marriage proposals, but not Anna. Anna was convinced that her only chance for love was on coronation day.
Someone mentioned that if Anna hated being a princess so much, why did she not leave when her parents died? Because she was only 15 and had been locked up all her life. The castle is all Anna knows, and she has run around doing what ever she wants in it for 13 years. Anna honestly can't think of a life outside of the castle, she just wants company. That is why she asks Hans if they will live in Arendelle, because she is scared to go anywhere else. Anna is shown to have been severely neglected growing up. Not celebrating her birthday, and not even having Christmas at all. Not to mention, as a 15 year old, where would she even go? Frozen never established aunts or uncles for her to live with, and even if she went to live with family they also would expect her to act like a proper lady. And if she gave up her life as a royal and became a commoner, then what? She would be on the streets with no home or job at 15.
This is one of the reasons why she ends up with Kristoff. If she married someone royal or noble, she once more would be expected to act right. To change who she is to fit in with the customs. But because she was royal, no commoner would ever dare approach her. But when it came to Kristoff, he did not care that she was royal. From the first moment they met, Kristoff treated her like any other person. He did not call her 'your highness" or anything like that, and he even made his own stance on things instead of just following her. She was a person to him, and not an untouchably princess.
Another person said that Kristoff got lucky in having Anna fall in love with him. Like the weird child somehow ending up with the pretty girl at school, and how Kristoff would do anything to stay with Anna. But the truth is, Anna is not the pretty girl. Frozen had established that she was in fact, undesirable. No one wanted her. Both Anna and Kristoff had not chance in romance with other people. Kristoff because he was raised by trolls, and Anna because she was a screw up princess.
Here is an interesting fact. I was told that the ending of Frozen 1 has Anna in a commoner dress to signal that she has in fact giving up her position in line to the throne in order to be with Kristoff. This is also why her OFA dress is also a commoner dress. Although, this idea obviously has been dropped, and Disney would want to keep calling her princess either way.
Now, to give more perspective in what I am trying to say, I will give a comparison to another amazing Disney animated film.
Mulan
In Mulan, Mulan grows up in an era that is very strict, especially with woman. Mulan is expected to be graceful and a perfect wife, who does not over step her bounds. But Mulan is none of those things. She is clumsy when it came to making tea and acting proper, and takes puts out her own thoughts instead of just agreeing. And this at the beginning of the film, is considered disgraceful. Mulan is ashamed that she failed to prove herself as a good future wife, and she has in fact brought dishonor to her family. She joins the army to save her father, but also to prove herself in a way. There she realizes that she also does not fit in as a man, and instead has to learn her own strengths in order to be a solder.
At the end, Mulan has new confidence in herself and goes home, and people even respect her for what she has done.
But here is the thing. The world Mulan lives in has not changed. Girls are still going to be raised to be wives, with mean being the ones to risk their lives at war, and Mulan herself will probably still be expected to become a proper wife as well, and she definitely has not suddenly become graceful or learned to stay silent. Mulan's story ends well because she ends up with Shang, who fell in love with her as a fellow solder, and not as a perfect wife, and because of that he would not want her to change into the ideal wife in his country, and he would treat her as an equal, because that was what she was in war.
This is very similar to Anna. Both Anna and Mulan were not fit in their positions in life and did not meet the expectations and standards as well in their countries. In the end, what mattered most to Mulan was her father's safety and brining honor to her family, while all Anna wanted was to unite with Elsa and protect her as well. And then both Anna and Mulan ends up with a guy that better matches their life style, so they are not forced to change to met societies expectations.
Now, does this mean Mulan disliked her life before she went to war?
No, she was just not cut out for it and she knew it. She had to find her own way in life that did not force her to follow societies standards.
The same can be applied to Anna. The castle is her home. She grew up in it and it is where her beloved sister lives. But just because she loves it, does not mean she belongs in it, and Anna knows this. This is why she chose Kristoff, instead of possibly finding another prince. The castle gates are open now. Anna has every opportunity to find anyone to marry now.
Now, what does this mean for Anna's relationship with Elsa?
Anna and Elsa are almost complete opposites. Elsa likes tea parties, Anna likes picnics. Elsa is graceful, Anna is clumsy. Elsa is royal, Anna is common.
The two of them love each other and learned to compromise. Elsa learned to loosen up and to have fun with Anna. While Anna does her best to support Elsa as queen.
Now, I have not read the comics and books that came after Frozen 1, so I do not know the full details of how Anna helps Elsa. I have read two comics though, which is "Restless Week", and the one where Elsa learns to dance. In both, Anna helps Elsa more from the shadows. She researches about a kingdom to help Elsa write a speech that she will say in front of diplomates, and she helps teach Elsa how to dance, so she can dance with visiting princes. These kinds of act of helping does not require Anna to be a princess at all.
Anna only ever wants to help, but she cannot help as a princess because she is awful at it. But right now, all Anna is able to do is help Elsa from behind. I think Anna would want an official position that she takes care of to help Elsa, instead of just being on stand by for when ever Elsa calls her for help. But what that job is and how it can help Elsa as queen, while still staying true to Anna's character, I do not know what it could be.
Now, when it comes to what I said in the Frozen 2 rewrite. With the idea of Anna being tempted to leave palace life when she finds out that Kristoff hates it.
The key word is "Tempted". Anna might not be fit as a princess, but at the end of the day, she still is one, and she would never abandon her people, and especially Elsa. Anna just needs to figure out what she can do. But like I said, I don't know what that is. But all Anna wants to do in life is help.
The ending idea of Anna being queen while rebuilding Arendelle, was not to say Anna is fit for royal life or would make a great queen. The ending idea is actually the hardest part of Anna's life. She lost her home and her sister, and now she has to act like a queen. But she forces herself to do it, because it is the right thing to do. She is not happy, and the only reason she keeps going is with the hope that Elsa will return. The same can be applied to Kristoff. Helping and staying with Anna even if he hates royal life, so that he can help her through this difficult time.
I did see one panel of a comic where Anna had apparently acted as queen in Elsa's place as Elsa was somewhere else. She comments that she managed to do it, but it is not her and she would never want to be queen.
And the ending of my rewrite also would help Anna find her place. Because Arendelle is destroyed, the kingdom has to be completely rebuilt, both in housing and in customs. They don't have the money to act like royalty right now. And of course, the integration of Northuldra, who are a wild people who are definitely not interested in proper manners and balls. So Arendelle has changed in some ways.
Anna and Elsa would represent both cultures. Elsa's queenliness representing Arendelle, and her magic being from Northuldra. While Anna is more like a Northuldra, but because she was queen for a while, gained respect from Arendelle.
Anna would work with the Northuldra and helping them with their life in Arendelle, with Kristoff helping her. And Elsa handles Arendelle. The two sisters work together and create a happy kingdom with all kinds of people and customs.
Although, I don't actually like this ending. I know I wrote it, but the truth is Frozen 2 was so bad that I don't really like anything inspired or similar to it.
So that is why I don't think Anna likes her life as a princess. She is simply not cut out for it and she knows it. In fact, in the deleted scene of Frozen 2, where Kristoff admits he dislikes his life in Arendelle, and started listing off all his dislikes, more then half of them I could see Anna disliking as well. Fancy dinner parties for one thing. Anna would definitely not use the right fork, or eat ungracefully, and she would absolutely be to chatty and just trying to have fun. Once again, not acting like a princess. Actually lets go ahead and go through the list.

1. Fancy shoes and regel jackets. Anna does like pretty dresses as long as her movement is not restricted, and she prefers flat shoes instead of high heals. But at the end of the day, she prefers to wear commoner clothing.
   
2. Don't like ceremonies or polite conversations. I don't think Anna dislikes ceremonies, although I can see her getting bored if it goes on to long. As for polite conversations, that is when you take the time to both listen and talk in a conversation, so no one is dominating the conversation and being the only one talking. Frozen already showed Kristoff doing this, so I feel like this is a retcon of his character.
   
3. Formal dinners. I already answered this one. Anna is definitely going to make a mistake.
   
4. Ballroom dancing. She absolutely loves to dance! I do wonder if Kristoff likes other dances though? Like village dancing and he just hates the uptight ballroom dancing.
   
5. Manners for the sake of manners. I don't really understand this one. Anna obviously has manners, but when it comes to her manners as a princess, she is lacking.
   
6. Big crowds. I don't think Anna has a problem like this. Although I would argue she likes to just be with her loved ones much more.
   
7. Rules of Order. Once again I am conflicted as I don't really understand what this is. Kristoff is a business man so he should already be using this, sort of. I think it is just at a to high level in the castle, and I would see Anna also struggling. Maybe, like I said, I don't exactly know what this is, and a quick search did not really help. The biggest problem is that we have never seen Anna in a political debate, so it is all just guessing.
   

Well, that is it.

I’m not asking in the sense of “why didn’t they just go chain up Sauron”. That horse has been beat so bad its soul probably has bruises. Rather I’m curious why they didn’t select from among themselves five who would go as aged councilors to guide and rally Middle Earth. What was their thought process behind sending five Maiar instead of taking up the task directly? We know they limited the memory and power of the Istari, so it should stand to reason they could do it to themselves. A recent book that I can’t remember the name of off the top of my head seems to mention they were trying to right a wrong of some kind. So it would stand to reason that might be good incentive to go themselves rather than send the Maiar.
Were they concerned that their mere presence alone would drive Sauron into permanent hiding until they left? Would he even be able to tell the wise old man/woman was a Valar instead of a Maiar? Come to think of it, was Sauron aware the Istari were Maiar? I can’t remember if he knew or was suspicious.
We know, being who they are, that the Valar had an insanely deep knowledge of the world. So maybe it was a concern that even after essentially nerfing themselves their immense innate knowledge would make them too powerful anyway? As powerful as Gandalf was even before he returned I can kind of see how a Valar would be much more so, even if toned down for the mission. Imagine Tulkas sneezing and accidentally creating a whole new mountain range.
Was it simply due to the desire to maintain their hands off approach after the War of Wrath? The Elves seemed to know who the Istari were right off the bat so I imagine they might literally crap themselves if a nerfed down Valar sauntered into the Gray Havens. Imagine the shock of seeing Ulmo or Tulkas showing up on your front doorstep, let alone whoever else might’ve gone along.

Years ago, sometime in the 2000s (I believe before the pandemic scare) I remember finding this one film that was a Hallmark Christmas special.
I watch those a lot, and there was one song in particular that stood out for me. I forgot who starred in it, I believe it was either Lacy Shabert or someone very similar in appearance; it was someone who could sing definitely, and she performed this song which as far as I know was an original song.
It combined several elements from other songs essentially, just like terms about Christmas, like "Jingle bells, Christmas bells, riding all night long in a one horse open sleigh" is part of the chorus, and I know those come from other Christmas songs but that was the point, it was sort of a combination of them.
It was a slower ballad, and I remember specifically the scene and the movie, for the most part; now to be clear I have memory problems because of a medical condition, so the actual title and specific plot is a little murky, which is why I'm trying to find it and find the song.
So, it was this woman was singing at some sort of concert and she was wearing I believe a sort of dark dress or silver dark dress and the premise of the movie, I think from what I remember, is that she was a actress or singer who had essentially fallen in love with someone from the (quotation marks) wrong side of the tracks, and was essentially contemplating whether or not she wanted to continue her career or be with him, something almost like the end of The Bodyguard but less dramatic. The way it was presented as she was like looking out over the crowd and he was standing watching it from a distance smiling, it was treated as if she was singing to him.
I found it once on YouTube, but now I can't find the video again, or it might have been removed, but I don't know if that was the only video. It was fairly short, I think about 2 minutes or so, the whole song.
That's all the information I can directly recall, any help would be much appreciated!

i’m deeply concerned about my stepson. we share 50/50 custody with his mom (pwBPD) and I’m starting to see a lot of red flags come up.
as you can guess, she is very insecure and sees my presence as super threatening. I have a solid relationship with my SS but she has made it clear that she is the “real mom” and that they (SS&SD) need her alone. She will cry in front of him and tell him things like she felt sad that I wrote him a note for valentines. He showed her the note multiple times earlier that day, asking her if she was ok with it and if he could keep it. At the same time she tries to act like she’s supportive of a relationship between him and us.
My SS is has often been referred to by mom as the problem child or child with a “dark side”. He is only doing “better” because of all her “hard work”. He rarely has issues with us and she claims it’s because he’s so much more comfortable with her. I can only imagine what life is like at her house. He doesn’t always share much but will smile and say “I’m okay” 😭. We try not to ask because we don’t want to make him feel like he’s taking sides or betraying her. The amount of issues that come from her on a weekly basis is overwhelming.
I overheard my SS yelling at his younger sister saying things like “I talk FIRST and then you talk. You LOOK me in the eyes when I talk to you” and “ANGER is not a real emotion, what is the emotional layer you’re feeling under that?” She’s 5 and was just upset she lost a game.
Anytime we try to address anything with mom, she acts like mom of the year, gets on her high horse and acts like we victimized her. For example she got caught asking him to keep secrets from us & her response was: 1. “I don’t believe secrets are ever okay” (says the woman who had an affair), 2. “You guys asking him is the problem, you’re putting a child in the middle”, “I’m actually upset at you guys for something from half a year ago & would like to bring it up unless you guys don’t care”. It’s exhausting.
Aside from getting enough evidence to get more custody one day, what can we do to help him? I’m worried about her influence over him. I want to get him into therapy but she will probably veto it somehow

This is a post mainly for the purposes of providing a single entry in the Table of Contents. It is to compile all posts concerning her alleged child marriage that was discovered by this community.

Relevant Posts

• Another thing Mina is lying about
• Chicago Real Estate (revised)
• Wait a sec, Mina got married thrice?
• It's easy to promote purity culture when you've had access to sex since you were 16
• let it be known in the comments on my mina aka the universe guru caught lying vid that she may have been married three times link to video below
• VIDEO : Mina's view on child marriage
• Was her first marriage arranged?
• Public Figures, Transparency, and the Right to Privacy
• Mina said in Lady Balls that her mom “suddenly noticed her when she was 16”
• Timeline

My Initial Stance

I have been openly conflicted over this. I questioned if it actually had anything to do with deceptive or manipulative marketing tactics or if it was just mean-spirited gossip.
It is my impression that most of the outrage over her hiding this is from women who would never have bought from her anyway. As for the women who bought from Mina, they did not do so because she was professing to be some good little Pakistani girl. They bought from her because in spite of her mistakes, she was able to learn from them and create a "robust" relationship TODAY. Her selling point was that she was an OVERCOMER. And that if you buy from her you can overcome your past as well. Sharing how she had survived a child marriage would have only helped to boost that message. So I still generally stand by my belief that this information was not hidden for the purposes of scamming her audience.

Why It's Relevant

At the same time, others did raise some fair points that have caused me to reconsider.
This does in fact raise some concerns about her credibility in light of some of her teachings. She has taken a very harsh and judgmental tone particularly lately. With the high horse she's been on lately you wouldn't know that she has such a skeleton in her closet.
For one thing, she has been trashing Western culture when it comes to their relationship skills. She says that Western people "aren't wired for relationships" and that's why her relationship content doesn't work for them. (After making millions selling it to them) She is constantly claiming that Pakistanis are better at relationships. Meanwhile she herself has been in 3 different marriages to 3 different Pakistanis and most of them (2) have ended in divorce. She has more divorces under her belt than the average Westerner. Considering the fact that Irfan was also a divorcé, that makes THREE Pakistani divorces between them. 5 Pakistanis, 4 marriages, 3 divorces. She has a lot of nerve.
She has also been trashing boyfriend-girlfriend relationships. If you are serially marrying and divorcing people, are you really better than people who were in boyfriend-girlfriend relationships in the same span of time?
Now she's out here trying to scare girls into being married by 22. She of all people should know the risks that come with rushing into marriage.
And assuming this marriage was something she was pressured into. You would think that she would have more compassion for women in various circumstances that were not 100% in their control. But she is constantly shaming women. Shaming women for having children out of wedlock. Shaming women for having "multiple baby daddies". Shaming women for not being virgins at 22. The list goes on. She of all people should know that life doesn't always go as planned.
She could have easily been the very woman she's shaming had circumstances been slightly different. She could have easily had 3 "baby daddies" by now. But instead of showing grace and compassion to her fellow woman, she is sitting up on a high horse and shaming them. Imagine all the women she has been making feel like crap because of a past that they could not change. She's really having women sit around sad that they come from an inferior culture that allowed them to make all these mistakes. Meanwhile Mina hides all the ways her own culture has failed her. It's kind of sadistic of Mina.
The funny thing is I actually generally agree with Mina on these issues. I generally agree that "girlfriend is not a status" and that you shouldn't be exclusive with anyone before a real commitment, but the irony of the situation is that Mina's life story actually weakens her argument. Some of her critics could make the case that if Mina had been allowed to date like many girls in the West, she wouldn't have had to go through all these traumatic divorces. And maybe that's why she's been so secretive about it. Which is kind of fraudulent.

Hey ladies! I’m a tall, nerdy guy looking for an equally nerdy woman to chat with and see what happens. I am open to short or long-term, but I am strictly monogamous. I don’t have kids, and don’t want any of my own. Not religious, either. Very left-leaning politically and open to women of any race. I’m hoping for nightly voice calls, movie nights, things like that. If local, even better! I want to make you smile so much your cheeks hurt, and your heart to flutter. Nothing makes me happier than making a lady giggle!
I value the simple (and nerdy!) things in life, and would rather find my person to spend my life with rather than living a life of comfort and privilege. My dream is to open an animal sanctuary or hobby farm that could double as a human therapy center. I am looking for a long-term, monogamous relationship with a woman within a few years of my age and within a few time zones of EST. Curly hair, freckles or dimples get you to the front of the line! I’ve been having a rough week, so please send me your pet pictures!
For work right now I’m in a volunteer position at a local food bank where I socialize with seniors and the food-insecure and basically serve as a ‘Johnny on the spot’ helping with odd jobs, tech support, stuff like that. I also help with a cat rescue organization where I have fostered cats and do some admin work. I do freelance editing on the side, and would love to have some of my own work published in the future!
‘Hey’ is for horses!

Hey ladies! I’m a tall, nerdy guy looking for an equally nerdy woman to chat with and see what happens. I am open to short or long-term, but I am strictly monogamous. I don’t have kids, and don’t want any of my own. Not religious, either. Very left-leaning politically and open to women of any race. I’m hoping for nightly voice calls, movie nights, things like that. If local, even better! I want to make you smile so much your cheeks hurt, and your heart to flutter. Nothing makes me happier than making a lady giggle!
I value the simple (and nerdy!) things in life, and would rather find my person to spend my life with rather than living a life of comfort and privilege. My dream is to open an animal sanctuary or hobby farm that could double as a human therapy center. I am looking for a long-term, monogamous relationship with a woman within a few years of my age and within a few time zones of EST. Curly hair, freckles or dimples get you to the front of the line! I’ve been having a rough week, so please send me your pet pictures!
For work right now I’m in a volunteer position at a local food bank where I socialize with seniors and the food-insecure and basically serve as a ‘Johnny on the spot’ helping with odd jobs, tech support, stuff like that. I also help with a cat rescue organization where I have fostered cats and do some admin work. I do freelance editing on the side, and would love to have some of my own work published in the future!
‘Hey’ is for horses!

Hey ladies! I’m a tall, nerdy guy looking for an equally nerdy woman to chat with and see what happens. I am open to short or long-term, but I am strictly monogamous. I don’t have kids, and don’t want any of my own. Not religious, either. Very left-leaning politically and open to women of any race. I’m hoping for nightly voice calls, movie nights, things like that. If local, even better! I want to make you smile so much your cheeks hurt, and your heart to flutter. Nothing makes me happier than making a lady giggle!
I value the simple (and nerdy!) things in life, and would rather find my person to spend my life with rather than living a life of comfort and privilege. My dream is to open an animal sanctuary or hobby farm that could double as a human therapy center. I am looking for a long-term, monogamous relationship with a woman within a few years of my age and within a few time zones of EST. Curly hair, freckles or dimples get you to the front of the line! I’ve been having a rough week, so please send me your pet pictures!
For work right now I’m in a volunteer position at a local food bank where I socialize with seniors and the food-insecure and basically serve as a ‘Johnny on the spot’ helping with odd jobs, tech support, stuff like that. I also help with a cat rescue organization where I have fostered cats and do some admin work. I do freelance editing on the side, and would love to have some of my own work published in the future!
‘Hey’ is for horses!

I will be Charles is the story of a young man leaving his childhood behind and making his way to Basgiath. As I read the story I feels anemic, like I’ve left out too much, but it was never intended stand on its own, it’s mainly a character build for another chunk of story to come. Let me know what you think, be blunt and honest, but it’s my first fiction ever, so be gentle, like Tairn!
A time eighty years before the rebellion…
The headmaster said nothing as I gathered my bag and walked away, but his foreman, a large, solid, sharp man who’d spent the last four years alternating between driving me like a slave and teaching me to ride and fight and work hard and most of all how to be a man called out “remember your lessons boy, and make something of yourself. Nobody is coming to collect your body when you fail”. Other young men stood and stretched their backs as they watched me walk out the gate of the forced labor farm that called itself a boy’s school. Their expressions ranged from relief at the possibility that they too might escape this life to sad happiness as a couple of them waved their farewell. One week, I have one week to be there for conscription day. Then things change.
A fish from the stream and one ear of corn for a meal. That’s all I was willing to take from the field beside the road. I would have worked for it if I’d been able to find the owner. But time is short and I hadn’t eaten in two days. I could travel like this for years, working a little and seeing the land, but my mind is made up and my need for adventure and station is real. So I starve and I walk. Eating what I need, sleeping where I can. One goal pulls me along, the vision of living a life of my own choosing, of riding and fighting and being a part of something real… and the dragon, my own best friend and partner as we fly and fight and serve the king and the people of Navar. Not that they ever did a fucking thing for me. My loyalty is transactional, and my service is to the people, fuck the king.
“YOU THERE” a voice calls, not friendly but not angry enough to be the owner of the onions and potatoes I’d taken last night to make a soup of rabbit. The man pulls his horse to a stop ten feet away and looks down at me. “It’s a day in each direction to any town. Why are you here?” I look around completely confused, but know a noble’s ranger when I see one. “I’m walking to Basgiath, two more days that way, right?”. The ranger looks me over and sees no weapons but the hunting knife, just me and my large pack trudging along the road. “You may travel the road, and you may camp at the bridge you will reach by nightfall. You may take a rabbit and you may fish at the bridge. You will take nothing else. Agreed?”. I look up at him innocently, “thank you for the clarity Sir, I will camp at the bridge. I did take some potatoes yesterday, and an onion, for a stew.” The ranger grins and gives a little nod “what school?”. My shoulders drop a little, but I stand erect and answer truthfully “I am schooled at Piramin’s School for Boy’s, Sir”. The ranger laughs and shakes his head “NOBODY cares who you are boy. What man will you become? What school at Basgiath? I was infantry myself, for twenty years I wore the blue with pride, and last year I retired to become ranger of these lands”. I think about what he just said and almost change my mind, infantry was a safer choice after all, at least it wasn’t a lifetime commission, but my chin came up and my eyes locked on his, “Rider Quadrant, Sir”. The man grinned ear to ear and looked me over with a much keener eye, “you have it in you boy, arrive rested and strong, because once you’re inside they will try to kill you. It’s only the very strongest who survive that school, and even then, you’ll be flying a fucking dragon through the sky for years. Make your peace and bury your past. Nothing matters inside Basgiath except who you are that day.” He pauses for a moment and pulls something from his pack, “do me a favor, when you get there go to the Commander of the Infantry, his name is Wainright, and hand him this, tell him Eldric remembers him well. Then go get your dragon, ok?” The package is as long as my forearm, hard and heavy, and wrapped in a thick cloth. I put it into my pack securely and agree, “Commander Wainright, I will.” The ranger heads back the way he’d come, “good luck boy, study hard too but remember, it’s combat and dragons that keep the Riders alive.”
“Holy shit”, the words escaped before I knew it. As I topped the last ridge and got my first look at the face of my future my heart stopped and I stared for a full minute at the incredible thing that was Basgiath War College. If I’d known that view was so close I would have walked the extra hour last evening and camped atop the ridge. I’d been passing more buildings and houses, and a full on town lay nestled in the valley before the college. I estimated it would take all day to reach the gates, but maybe a good meal and a little extra sleep would serve tonight. I see no reason to be early on conscription day. Given the increasing number of wagons and travelers tomorrow would be a nightmare of long lines and military bullshit. I was used to it, and knew that the last guy in line had the same chance as the first, at least for tomorrow’s test.
Halfway through town I hear a familiar sound and turn off the road to a little band of shops one street over and sure enough, there sat a sturdy but pretty girl pedaling a sharpening wheel as she honed a short sword. A sweaty larger man, dark of skin and darker with the soot and iron dust on his face and arms came forward as I watched the girl, “new soldier eh? Have you a sword?”. I looked up and smiled at the man, “I’ll be a rider or a dead cadet soon, I was hoping to cross the parapet tomorrow with weapons of my own, since none are issued in the riders quadrant. I have no coin, but I brought trade if you’re interested”. The large man scowelled, “do you have any idea how many broke children stop at this very shop as a last chance before entering those gates? Hundreds, every year it’s the same. I have no money but here’s a chicken”. The girl giggled a bit but I simply waited politely for the man, after a moment he relented, “I see that you’ve grown up working. What have you to trade?”. That was my cue. I slipped my pack off and it made a heavy clunk as I set it down and began digging to the very bottom. The man went back inside to stoke a fire as I worked for his answer. Finally standing with a hatbox sized bundle I look the master weapon smith in the eyes and say “two things, actually three. I have enough Victik alloy to make a half dozen short swords, enough folded and fired stock to make two very nice longer swords, and last but not least, as my eyes shifted to the girl, four yards of pretty blue Berelli fabric, straight from the islands via Bravik last year. Lastly, I’m strong and offer my sweat and my back for the day. I could use the work and it looks like you could use a boy for a day. What I want in return is a few daggers, a short sword, and a good pair of boots”. The smith’s eyes, big with the revelation, pored over the metals, which were rare and valuable to the right smith, his daughter stood to see the fabric and both shared a look, then the man took the items and walked into his shop. “Get started” was the only answer.
Ten hours later the smith helped stack the last thousand pounds of ore. Heavy canvas bags full of slaggy sharp chunks of metal, that cut the arms and hands right through the bags. I wore the gloves, the smith did not. The girl still sat at her stone, honing infantry swords to perfection and selling dozens of them to young infantry prospects or their parents. Next door, the leather shop churned out boring but well made scabbards for swords and daggers as fast as the three ladies could go. As we finished a kind lady and her son rolled up with a large push cart full of cooked food and prepared meals on crockery plates. The smith called out to greet her and went to wash his hands. I followed and the girl finally got up from her wheel to pick out food for their dinner. The smith said, as we took turns at the luke warm bucket of day old water, washing our hands and arms, “you will eat with us tonight, and there’s a cot in the loft if you like. It’s better than you’ll find anywhere between here and Basgiath. You worked hard and well today. Thank you for being good help. Your new weapons are still tempering. We’ll take a look in the morning.”
Dinner had been wonderful, that older woman knew her craft and she knew what hungry working men and women wanted. Lots of energy laden greens, potatoes in a way he’d never had them before, and a large portion of meat with gravy. I didn’t ask what the meat was. It was fair size chunks, and dark. I think it was maybe goat or sheep, at any rate it was the best meal I’d had in years, and not a drip or a crumb went to waste.
I slept well and long that night, dreams of dragons and horses and hard work and the possibilities behind those gates. When I woke it was already daylight and I jumped from my cot to run downstairs. The smith laughed as I came down the ladder, “don’t worry boy, I’ve not pulled them out yet, and you have plenty of time to get there today.” I smiled huge, hoping for a couple of clean steel fighting daggers and a short sword, maybe a throwing knife if I’d earned it, but when the smith pulled the rack from the annealing oven my breath caught. There before me lay four standard daggers, two slightly longer knives with slightly curved blades and guards over the finger section that looked like a steel version of brass knuckles, a short sword with a heavy blade, and a longer sword, again, with a thick, heavy blade. I gawked as if I’d never seen fresh weapons before. The truth was that I’d been a forge monkey for a few weeks and I’d seen thousands of high production weapons roll out of the large sweat shop in Naisg where the bulk of standard issue weapons came from. But none of those looked anything like these works of art. “These are beautiful Sir, I’ve never seen high carbon black steel come out with a sheen like that.” The smith grinned, “you brought me the ore boy, surely you recognize your own hard work. This is what full hard steel looks like when alloyed with Viktik. This is a small fraction of what you brought me, and all of these are yours, if you can hone them and wait for the hilts to be finished next door. Should be ready in a few hours. Plenty of time to get to school this afternoon.” With the greatest smile I could manage I thanked him profusely and looked at the girl’s sharpening wheel, she stepped in front and mad herself scowl, “no no no. This one is mine and it’s for HONING, not sharpening. YOU start over there, and keep you grubby hands off my wheel!”
I laughed and got to work, quickly shaping and bringing the blades to the correct angle as the smith checked in over and over, “no, shallow is for slicing game. Make a combat blade with a thick blade, thick angle, and deadly sharp edge. Make it tough and make it sharp. Then take it to Mary and let HER hone it for you, she’s better at it and she won’t let you touch her wheel anyway.” Three hours later I delivered the blades to the leather smith next door and began to speak as the man shushed me, looking at the blades. “Rider eh? The smit did you right with these. You must be special. I know what to do, give me a couple of hours.”
Four hours later the smith and the leather smith and I stood between the shops admiring the weapons. The handles were all identically wrapped with fine leather and wire, the swords included lanyards to avoid dropping them from a flying dragon, and the two combat daggers were wrapped and bore the signet of the smith. The smith shook the leatherman’s hand and smiled, “you’ve done me proud. This boy work hard yesterday, so I paid him well. Now boy, you take these weapons up there and you make a man of yourself. And when someone asks you where you got the weapons, tell them!” The leatherman brought forth a brand new pair of boots and set them down, “now boy, listen. These are new and they’re excellent boots, but they will kill you today. The bottoms are slick and need wear. The tops are oily and stiff and uncomfortable until the oil steeps into the leather, and there is no way you’re walking the parapet in these. Tie them together around your neck, and wear them tomorrow. Season them daily for a week, then do nothing to them. Ok?” I admire my new boots and thank the man before running to the gates only an hour before the deadline for conscripts to enter the courtyard.
My pack was lighter, my weapons were fucking awesome, I was well fed and rested in spite of the busy morning. As I walked through the massive gates and into the place I would call home I looked around for the commander of the Infantry. It was my first mission, assigned by a retired soldier and apparently a friend of the Commander. I asked a half dozen people who looked like they should know and only got pointed to the line for Infantry. I dutifully walked to the head of the line and addressed the person standing behind the table, the one who seemed to be supervising more than working at the moment. “Excuse me but I have a message for the Commander of the Infantry, where can I find them?” The woman looked me over and obviously doubted I had anything worthwhile to tell anybody, but finally asked, “who are you and what is the message, the commander cannot be reached out here. She is busy inside, as you can imagine.” I stood tall while she spoke and nodded when she finished, “I’m not sure how private the message is, and I’m nobody. Inside you say. Fine, that’s where I’m headed.” She smiled and touched the man’s shoulder at the table, when he looked up she said “get this recruit’s name and send him inside to formation”, to me she grinned,”after formation there is a short reception for meeting each other. Find her then.” My smile fell a bit as I had to back her up a little, “I’m sorry no, I’m headed to the Rider Quadrant, I’ll have to deliver the message later I guess.” Her eyes were beautiful, but her smile disappeared as she wrote me off, “well you best get on with dying then, it’s a long day for all of us”
Six hours. Six fuckin hours watching everything from cocksure nobels to terrified children who had no business trying fall off the parapet. Finally I stepped into the shade of the turret, where the two cadets in snappy black leather sat taking the names of each recruit as they attempted to enter the Quadrant. “There is only one way forward”, said one of them to a trepid young man two places ahead of me. She pointed to the parapet, a narrow, smooth worn wall cap over two hundred feet above the river, “Riders walk that way”, she pointed to the long spiral staircase behind us, “or you’re a coward and can try to make it back down without getting shoved off the side. Either way hurry the fuck up, are you a Rider or not?” The boy determined that risking his life was better than the embarrassment of cowardice and set out along the narrow path. He didn’t even scream when he fell.
My turn at the table, “name?” The woman asked. It was a simple question, every recruit ever had been able to answer it. I hadn’t even considered the question and just looked at her literally dumbfounded. “Name” She repeated. “I, um, don’t have a name.” My answer was firm and confident, which only confused her more. Her partner looked up at me “give us your name, we don’t give a flying fuck what you’re running from, you’ll probably be dead in a couple of weeks anyway.” I just looked at her, my mind racing. I’d never needed a name before. ‘Boy’, or ‘hey’ had always been sufficient. I knew I’d have to have one, but honestly if I’d ever had a name it was lost long ago. “I will be Charles” I said, “I like Charles.” The man kept looking at me as if there was more, “Charles”, I repeated, and the man shrugged and told his partner in a mocking tone, “Sir Charles of one name stands ready to cross.” The two laughed as the woman pointed with a thumb, “good luck, cross the parapet and give your name on the other side and you will be Cadet… Charles.”
The least eventful part of the day, I looked at the parapet and on toward two children who seemed hell bent on falling off the thing. I shift my pack and walk out, it was breezy, but damn the thing was easily as wide as my shoulders, more or less flat on top and with rounded edges. I mumbled at the children ahead of me “it’s a fucking sidewalk, get up and walk.” As I reach the first of them, about halfway across, I reach down and grab his pack straps and haul him upright on the parapet, making sure his feet were set before I let go. His eyes met mine and I saw pure terror in them. “Hey, it’s a fucking sidewalk. Put your hands out and walk. Quit thinking about the ditch, walk on the sidewalk.” A full ten seconds passed before the kid got his wits and began moving again. We were only a few feet away from the other kid when they fell, the scream lasting longer than I’d expected as the body fell seemingly forever into the river below. I closed my eyes and said a short prayer to Malik before continuing, the boy in front of me nearing panic again, “hey, it’s another thirty feet, just look where you’re going and go there.”
I stepped off the little platform and gave my name when asked, and again the cadet seemed to want more than ‘Charles’. I looked at the pair of cadets and sighed a bit, “I have never had a name, I do not know if I ever had a name at all but they seemed to need one back there so ‘Charles’ is what you get. Just Charles. I have nothing else.” The cadets just looked at him and kind of rolled their shoulders, “well, Cadet Charles, welcome to the Riders Quadrant.”