Headaches feeling faint numb limbs
Airport v* (success!)
2024.05.19 06:45 jallzus Airport v* (success!)
Please do not read this if you don't want to hear about how I v*. This is kind of a rant about a trip I got back from recently where my worst fear came true and it actually wasn't that bad. I will not describe the event in great detail but I will describe it and use some potentially triggering words.
I have been petrified of flying since I was in kindergarten and tu on a plane and flying has always been extremely difficult for me (not scared of crashing, just v*). I've always been able to get through it but it has been completely debilitating at times and for that reason, I have not gone on plane trips more than 2+ hours. I have had some extremely rough trips (in terms of emet) but I have always gotten through it. I ended up needing to go on a trip for work from Seattle to D.C. and was freaking out over it for the 3 months leading up to it. The day finally came and I was shaking, I wasn't able to sleep that night so my head hurt and was just feeling so s*. I ate as lightly as I could because I didn't want to feel faint and weak on an 8hr travel day or that would make it worse. I thought I was doing okay on the way to the airport, I cried and freaked out before I walked in, then I went to check in and do TSA.
On top of this being the longest travel day I've had in almost 15 years, I was also traveling for the first time without my family and only people I have worked with for a few years. I warned them I was an anxious flyer so they knew.
I got there super early and was waiting at the gate and my stomach was getting heavier and heavier from anxiety and I decided that I would rather tu now and maybe get it over with than for it to happen on the plane, so I went to the bathroom and got a wet paper towel for my head and neck, blasted my comfort song in my headphones, and stood over the bowl and imagined licking the inside so I would gag. I wasn't able to tu the first few times I tried and eventually went back to the gate. I was also scared of someone else coming into the bathroom and hearing me. I went back 2 more times and the last time I did tu*. I ended up kind of pressing my fists into my stomach and forcing it out.
I have been on this journey with my emet since I was in 2nd grade (I am now 21) and my biggest fear besides v* is v* outside of the comfort of my own home. I have gotten through v* in other places besides my home and was just trying to remind myself the whole time that I survived those times and in 12 hours this wouldn't even matter. Thinking about how many 8 hour chunks of my life I have gotten through and that this specific one would just be a bad memory one day. I tu twice and survived. I was scared and able to cope with the fact that it was possible I could tu on the flight but at least I could prepare. And guess what, I survived all my flights without v* and had an amazing time in D.C.
Eating on planes has always been seemingly impossible for me, but I knew I would have to eat on the plane to survive (and to feel better). I was super jealous that the people I was traveling with were eating meals before the flight without any issue when I was struggling to eat half a cracker. But with deep breaths, water, and listening to my comfort songs I was able to eat two oranges and a granola bar. I felt better after eating and survived the flights. I guess I am just proud of myself for doing this thing that I never would've imagined possible for me 10 years ago (maybe even 5?)
You really are stronger than you think you are. I have committed to a 10 hour trip next February and I worry about it every single day, but I just remember this day where I survived and I know I can do it again. I am not going to let this phobia ruin my life and prevent me from seeing the world.
submitted by jallzus to emetophobia [link] [comments]
I have been petrified of flying since I was in kindergarten and tu on a plane and flying has always been extremely difficult for me (not scared of crashing, just v*). I've always been able to get through it but it has been completely debilitating at times and for that reason, I have not gone on plane trips more than 2+ hours. I have had some extremely rough trips (in terms of emet) but I have always gotten through it. I ended up needing to go on a trip for work from Seattle to D.C. and was freaking out over it for the 3 months leading up to it. The day finally came and I was shaking, I wasn't able to sleep that night so my head hurt and was just feeling so s*. I ate as lightly as I could because I didn't want to feel faint and weak on an 8hr travel day or that would make it worse. I thought I was doing okay on the way to the airport, I cried and freaked out before I walked in, then I went to check in and do TSA.
On top of this being the longest travel day I've had in almost 15 years, I was also traveling for the first time without my family and only people I have worked with for a few years. I warned them I was an anxious flyer so they knew.
I got there super early and was waiting at the gate and my stomach was getting heavier and heavier from anxiety and I decided that I would rather tu now and maybe get it over with than for it to happen on the plane, so I went to the bathroom and got a wet paper towel for my head and neck, blasted my comfort song in my headphones, and stood over the bowl and imagined licking the inside so I would gag. I wasn't able to tu the first few times I tried and eventually went back to the gate. I was also scared of someone else coming into the bathroom and hearing me. I went back 2 more times and the last time I did tu*. I ended up kind of pressing my fists into my stomach and forcing it out.
I have been on this journey with my emet since I was in 2nd grade (I am now 21) and my biggest fear besides v* is v* outside of the comfort of my own home. I have gotten through v* in other places besides my home and was just trying to remind myself the whole time that I survived those times and in 12 hours this wouldn't even matter. Thinking about how many 8 hour chunks of my life I have gotten through and that this specific one would just be a bad memory one day. I tu twice and survived. I was scared and able to cope with the fact that it was possible I could tu on the flight but at least I could prepare. And guess what, I survived all my flights without v* and had an amazing time in D.C.
Eating on planes has always been seemingly impossible for me, but I knew I would have to eat on the plane to survive (and to feel better). I was super jealous that the people I was traveling with were eating meals before the flight without any issue when I was struggling to eat half a cracker. But with deep breaths, water, and listening to my comfort songs I was able to eat two oranges and a granola bar. I felt better after eating and survived the flights. I guess I am just proud of myself for doing this thing that I never would've imagined possible for me 10 years ago (maybe even 5?)
You really are stronger than you think you are. I have committed to a 10 hour trip next February and I worry about it every single day, but I just remember this day where I survived and I know I can do it again. I am not going to let this phobia ruin my life and prevent me from seeing the world.
2024.05.19 06:44 Godsartist11 Sounds in my ear
I am a 22 year old Female, I’m 1,6m tall and I weigh around 90kg.
Since February 2024, I have been feeling dizziness, more than usual. My vision will be blurry or I see spots when I wake up. Around two weeks ago I have started hearing sounds in my left ear. A loud sounds as though it’s the wind blowing through. It changes in volume if I turn my head to the left, bend down and if I press a certain point in my upper neck. Now I have pains around my neck and it causes these numbing headaches. I feel like because I listen to music a lot, it might have been the cause. The whooshing sound also corresponds with my heartbeat or if I get too anxious it gets worse.
I also panicked when I saw a semi dark line up my belly. I am also panicking that I might be like pregnant. I had unprotected sex around October and I did take an after pill the next morning. My periods have been a little regular but I can’t be sure because we are so poor that we don’t eat well and sometimes I will be eating bread for days. My last period was on the 21st of April and lasted for three days and the bleeding was very light. I have only felt nausea when eating too much or not eating and only when my period has started or about to start.
I have also been diagnosed with Major Depression Disorder two years back and I took antidepressants for a year till I let go. I have had three suicide attempts and was this admitted before getting diagnosed. I also had my jaw lock twice and was admitted to the hospital for it. For a year and a half now, my jaw would always pop like when I’m stretching. I was also given something else well to help with the mild anxiety I had. I had withdrawals end of 2022 and in 2023 I felt good.
I have also struggled with constipation and diarrhoea. When I was eighteen (last year of high school), I found out I had high blood pressure but it went down after I completed school and got into university.
I don’t sleep too well and I often will sleep a lot or for short periods of time. Being home does have me on the edge as I know how irritated my mom can get for not doing things around the house or sleeping in too much. I have a job that doesn’t pay too well as well as my mom. So we don’t have money, not even a ride to the hospital. We don’t eat well due to this and I am terrified to tell my mom all this because she will tell me it’s because of the phone and listening to music. Please help or advise I’m scared my right ear will follow.
submitted by Godsartist11 to AskDocs [link] [comments]
Since February 2024, I have been feeling dizziness, more than usual. My vision will be blurry or I see spots when I wake up. Around two weeks ago I have started hearing sounds in my left ear. A loud sounds as though it’s the wind blowing through. It changes in volume if I turn my head to the left, bend down and if I press a certain point in my upper neck. Now I have pains around my neck and it causes these numbing headaches. I feel like because I listen to music a lot, it might have been the cause. The whooshing sound also corresponds with my heartbeat or if I get too anxious it gets worse.
I also panicked when I saw a semi dark line up my belly. I am also panicking that I might be like pregnant. I had unprotected sex around October and I did take an after pill the next morning. My periods have been a little regular but I can’t be sure because we are so poor that we don’t eat well and sometimes I will be eating bread for days. My last period was on the 21st of April and lasted for three days and the bleeding was very light. I have only felt nausea when eating too much or not eating and only when my period has started or about to start.
I have also been diagnosed with Major Depression Disorder two years back and I took antidepressants for a year till I let go. I have had three suicide attempts and was this admitted before getting diagnosed. I also had my jaw lock twice and was admitted to the hospital for it. For a year and a half now, my jaw would always pop like when I’m stretching. I was also given something else well to help with the mild anxiety I had. I had withdrawals end of 2022 and in 2023 I felt good.
I have also struggled with constipation and diarrhoea. When I was eighteen (last year of high school), I found out I had high blood pressure but it went down after I completed school and got into university.
I don’t sleep too well and I often will sleep a lot or for short periods of time. Being home does have me on the edge as I know how irritated my mom can get for not doing things around the house or sleeping in too much. I have a job that doesn’t pay too well as well as my mom. So we don’t have money, not even a ride to the hospital. We don’t eat well due to this and I am terrified to tell my mom all this because she will tell me it’s because of the phone and listening to music. Please help or advise I’m scared my right ear will follow.
2024.05.19 06:44 cleopatwat feeling ill
does anyone else just feel uhhh fucking ill all the time? like beyond the pain and aches and exhaustion do any of yall ever feel sick? to the point where, i’m not sure if i could tell you if i were to be coming down with something or not.
bloodwork is fine, everything seems normal but i can’t get rid of nausea, the upset tummy, headaches, general wooziness. today’s been a real kick in the keister if you know what i mean 😅
submitted by cleopatwat to Fibromyalgia [link] [comments]
bloodwork is fine, everything seems normal but i can’t get rid of nausea, the upset tummy, headaches, general wooziness. today’s been a real kick in the keister if you know what i mean 😅
2024.05.19 06:40 Inevitable-Farm4846 My life is tearing apart, help with symptoms
Hello, 34m from Italy, nice to meet you all. What I ask you today, with all my heart, is to read this post, hoping that someone can click with it.
Since 2012 my life has been nothing less than a hell. I gradually developed a huge amount of symptoms, some of these are unbearable and I’m really, really having trouble imagining a future like this.
I’ll try to be as concise as possible while listing my symptoms:
I spent all my money traveling in search of answers. I lost my job because of my chronic pain. I’m living a miserable life. I lost the chance to pursue a blooming career in music. I simply cannot accept this scenario, I need at least to give a name to this monster.
I hope someone will see himself in this story, and maybe some hint could come up. This would have an inestimable value for me.
Wish you all the best, and thanks ❤️
submitted by Inevitable-Farm4846 to DiagnoseMe [link] [comments]
Since 2012 my life has been nothing less than a hell. I gradually developed a huge amount of symptoms, some of these are unbearable and I’m really, really having trouble imagining a future like this.
I’ll try to be as concise as possible while listing my symptoms:
- a terrible migraine-like headache, pounding pain, 27 days/month on average. At this point I can only manage it with morphine ev. I checked everything, tried everything.
- Sexual dysfunction, where erextion problems and lack of spontaneous erection are the worst.
- Stuttering
- Dermatitis
- Terrible loss of short term memory
- Struggle urinating, urgency, weak stream and huge effort to do it
- Confusion
- Anxiety
- I had seizures once, but eeg showed no epilepsy
- Feeling constantly stress but with no reason at all
- Vision problems, need to keep my eye closed like they were super tired focusing things
I spent all my money traveling in search of answers. I lost my job because of my chronic pain. I’m living a miserable life. I lost the chance to pursue a blooming career in music. I simply cannot accept this scenario, I need at least to give a name to this monster.
I hope someone will see himself in this story, and maybe some hint could come up. This would have an inestimable value for me.
Wish you all the best, and thanks ❤️
2024.05.19 06:39 Inevitable-Farm4846 My life is tearing apart, help with symptoms
Hello, 34m from Italy, nice to meet you all. What I ask you today, with all my heart, is to read this post, hoping that someone can click with it.
Since 2012 my life has been nothing less than a hell. I gradually developed a huge amount of symptoms, some of these are unbearable and I’m really, really having trouble imagining a future like this.
I’ll try to be as concise as possible while listing my symptoms:
I spent all my money traveling in search of answers. I lost my job because of my chronic pain. I’m living a miserable life. I lost the chance to pursue a blooming career in music. I simply cannot accept this scenario, I need at least to give a name to this monster.
I hope someone will see himself in this story, and maybe some hint could come up. This would have an inestimable value for me.
Wish you all the best, and thanks ❤️
submitted by Inevitable-Farm4846 to AskDocs [link] [comments]
Since 2012 my life has been nothing less than a hell. I gradually developed a huge amount of symptoms, some of these are unbearable and I’m really, really having trouble imagining a future like this.
I’ll try to be as concise as possible while listing my symptoms:
- a terrible migraine-like headache, pounding pain, 27 days/month on average. At this point I can only manage it with morphine ev. I checked everything, tried everything.
- Sexual dysfunction, where erextion problems and lack of spontaneous erection are the worst.
- Stuttering
- Dermatitis
- Terrible loss of short term memory
- Struggle urinating, urgency, weak stream and huge effort to do it
- Confusion
- Anxiety
- I had seizures once, but eeg showed no epilepsy
- Feeling constantly stress but with no reason at all
- Vision problems, need to keep my eye closed like they were super tired focusing things
I spent all my money traveling in search of answers. I lost my job because of my chronic pain. I’m living a miserable life. I lost the chance to pursue a blooming career in music. I simply cannot accept this scenario, I need at least to give a name to this monster.
I hope someone will see himself in this story, and maybe some hint could come up. This would have an inestimable value for me.
Wish you all the best, and thanks ❤️
2024.05.19 06:39 FriendlyInsect9887 How do you all manage having such high heart rates? And does anyone feel really bad even without a high HR?
Since diagnosis and medication I max out at 140bpm (which, even that, rarely happens). I didn't wear a Fitbit to detect hr for about a year before diagnosis so idk what it was before being medicated but the GP and cardiologist both agreed that pots was what caused my nausea, dizziness, fatigue, headaches etc after doing lots of tests. What I'm curious about is how on earth y'all manage having HRs in the late 100s when I'm here feeling like sh1t when my heart rate isn't even that high like are y'all just built different 😭 no but seriously though like I forgot to take my meds the other day and last night I could barely get off the couch and felt like I would throw up but my hr was relatively normal looking (literally peaked at only 124, I assume when I was standing to get dinner after I felt a bit better). I will admit, I don't think I have severe pots. Like I've never fainted, never been to the ER for it. The worst Ive had is not being able to get off the floor for a day or so or blacking out when I stood up (maintained consciousness tho). Usually if I take my meds and don't stand too long I'm pretty good.
submitted by FriendlyInsect9887 to POTS [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 06:35 BeautifulDuality Untitled
The faint buzzing
The faint buzzing of the heater
Is my mind’s unraveling in this day’s end.
Sociable voices carried down the hall I care not to be a part of.
A single feather dust clung to this wool sock.
These walls, concrete and plain
Reminiscent of the memories
I thought I would see no end to
The screams of abandoned youth, of suppressed imagination.
The alternate path I have escaped from has caused me to feel
A guilty elevation,
A mother’s pride.
This is the break through point.
How lonely it is
Standing on the edge of dire circumstance and the future’s promise.
Moments build on each other.
Days are without meaning until we realize
The significance of the sequence of time.
There is no telling when the transformation happened.
There is no telling if it has.
The unravelling of my mind is my awaiting unconscious night.
These voices down the wall yell unaware of the Earth moving.
submitted by BeautifulDuality to OCPoetryFree [link] [comments]
The faint buzzing of the heater
Is my mind’s unraveling in this day’s end.
Sociable voices carried down the hall I care not to be a part of.
A single feather dust clung to this wool sock.
These walls, concrete and plain
Reminiscent of the memories
I thought I would see no end to
The screams of abandoned youth, of suppressed imagination.
The alternate path I have escaped from has caused me to feel
A guilty elevation,
A mother’s pride.
This is the break through point.
How lonely it is
Standing on the edge of dire circumstance and the future’s promise.
Moments build on each other.
Days are without meaning until we realize
The significance of the sequence of time.
There is no telling when the transformation happened.
There is no telling if it has.
The unravelling of my mind is my awaiting unconscious night.
These voices down the wall yell unaware of the Earth moving.
2024.05.19 06:35 dele1987 My Speculations on Polin in Part 2
I need to write this out cause I’m sitting in bed ruminating on what I think is to come and can’t think straight…need to organize my mind of things I think will happen in each ep.
Ep 5: Telling their families. Fight with Eloise she tells her she needs to tell him but doesn’t force her hand in this confrontation. Portia getting some angry Colin when he goes to declare he is gonna marry her and then be like oh yeah and do we have your permission cause I already told my family first. Maybe this leads to a heart to heart with Pen/Portia after Colin leaves. Drawing room scene this episode? Engagement party towards end of ep 5? Eloise ultimatum before engagement party.
What if Colin finds out about LW from Penelope after she faints at the engagement party. He takes her to his room or something. Or he visits her at her home to check on how she is feeling. MVP Rae helps. She just can’t keep it inside anymore and confesses because she knows she can’t marry him without telling him not because of an ultimatum but because he deserves to know and to decide. Consent in all things and all ways works both ways. I need him to know. She tries to tell him her reasons, he doesn’t want to hear it, he gets angry and says hurtful things.
He leaves. She cries. He take some space but they reconcile because he loves her. He finds out she has always loved him. Not sure we will get Colin’s love confession too… but I mean hopefully his confounded feelings are clear to him to be love and not just like cause we all know he loves her. She promises that she is done with LW. She apologizes for the hurt she has caused and explains her truth in the choices me made without excuses just honesty. She gives up LW for Colin. She publishes a goodbye issue and that is enough for Eloise to let it go Tick Tock wise but they are still broken up as friends.
Ep 6: They get married at the beginning of this episode. We better get an actual wedding for POLIN. And a wedding on the show that’s not filled with drama. I need a wedding with no LW secret hanging over them. I need it! Everyone is on a hunt for LW because the Queen is sad no issues are coming out and so does that bounty to find her. Pen and Colin are married and move to their house and have lots of sex including the mirror scene. I cannot have them do a mirror scene before he knows the truth. The whole point is to see her ALL of her and vice versa. No lies please Shondaland. They are enjoying marital bliss. Cressida has the pressure of being sold (married) to some old man so she declares herself to be LW due to the Queens Bounty. Pen ain’t gonna let her steal her life’s work and breaks her promise to Colin by publishing one more last issue and calls Cressida out. Colin catches her doing this. End of episode.
Ep 7: Now this is where we see the really angry Colin. He is pissed that she endangered herself, did this without talking to him, and broke her promise. They have it out in the carriage. Unless the writers decide to go for a carriage kink I cannot foresee sexy times in Carriage 2.0. They continue to have it out at home and they are both crying, angry, and FINALY really honest. Colin about his jealousy and Pen about her fears, insecurities, and what LW has been/meant for her all these years and that she felt she had to give it up to not lose Colin. Love Confession from Colin? Stay x3 this episode. Colin supporting her writing and her supporting his.
Ep 8: LW bargain/alliance with Queen to save her family. Colin having Pen edit his writing and telling her he is working on a book. Pen being a new version of LW? Heir Plot is left for S4? I kinda don’t want Pen and Colin to be weighed down to the Featheringtons but I kinda also want Pen to save her family this way and them to bow down to her supremely cause I’m petty vs having LW/Pen at the Queen’s mercy.
Epilogue: They leave for Greece or any city that’s not one of the 17 Colin fucked around in for their honeymoon. J/K…sort of…not really.
I have read the book…but I do I wonder if the TON won’t know till next season? Like do they even need to know? The consequences of them knowing in the book versus in the show. Stakes are so much higher on the shoe. This season just Eloise and Colin and maybe the Queen
submitted by dele1987 to BridgertonNetflix [link] [comments]
Ep 5: Telling their families. Fight with Eloise she tells her she needs to tell him but doesn’t force her hand in this confrontation. Portia getting some angry Colin when he goes to declare he is gonna marry her and then be like oh yeah and do we have your permission cause I already told my family first. Maybe this leads to a heart to heart with Pen/Portia after Colin leaves. Drawing room scene this episode? Engagement party towards end of ep 5? Eloise ultimatum before engagement party.
What if Colin finds out about LW from Penelope after she faints at the engagement party. He takes her to his room or something. Or he visits her at her home to check on how she is feeling. MVP Rae helps. She just can’t keep it inside anymore and confesses because she knows she can’t marry him without telling him not because of an ultimatum but because he deserves to know and to decide. Consent in all things and all ways works both ways. I need him to know. She tries to tell him her reasons, he doesn’t want to hear it, he gets angry and says hurtful things.
He leaves. She cries. He take some space but they reconcile because he loves her. He finds out she has always loved him. Not sure we will get Colin’s love confession too… but I mean hopefully his confounded feelings are clear to him to be love and not just like cause we all know he loves her. She promises that she is done with LW. She apologizes for the hurt she has caused and explains her truth in the choices me made without excuses just honesty. She gives up LW for Colin. She publishes a goodbye issue and that is enough for Eloise to let it go Tick Tock wise but they are still broken up as friends.
Ep 6: They get married at the beginning of this episode. We better get an actual wedding for POLIN. And a wedding on the show that’s not filled with drama. I need a wedding with no LW secret hanging over them. I need it! Everyone is on a hunt for LW because the Queen is sad no issues are coming out and so does that bounty to find her. Pen and Colin are married and move to their house and have lots of sex including the mirror scene. I cannot have them do a mirror scene before he knows the truth. The whole point is to see her ALL of her and vice versa. No lies please Shondaland. They are enjoying marital bliss. Cressida has the pressure of being sold (married) to some old man so she declares herself to be LW due to the Queens Bounty. Pen ain’t gonna let her steal her life’s work and breaks her promise to Colin by publishing one more last issue and calls Cressida out. Colin catches her doing this. End of episode.
Ep 7: Now this is where we see the really angry Colin. He is pissed that she endangered herself, did this without talking to him, and broke her promise. They have it out in the carriage. Unless the writers decide to go for a carriage kink I cannot foresee sexy times in Carriage 2.0. They continue to have it out at home and they are both crying, angry, and FINALY really honest. Colin about his jealousy and Pen about her fears, insecurities, and what LW has been/meant for her all these years and that she felt she had to give it up to not lose Colin. Love Confession from Colin? Stay x3 this episode. Colin supporting her writing and her supporting his.
Ep 8: LW bargain/alliance with Queen to save her family. Colin having Pen edit his writing and telling her he is working on a book. Pen being a new version of LW? Heir Plot is left for S4? I kinda don’t want Pen and Colin to be weighed down to the Featheringtons but I kinda also want Pen to save her family this way and them to bow down to her supremely cause I’m petty vs having LW/Pen at the Queen’s mercy.
Epilogue: They leave for Greece or any city that’s not one of the 17 Colin fucked around in for their honeymoon. J/K…sort of…not really.
I have read the book…but I do I wonder if the TON won’t know till next season? Like do they even need to know? The consequences of them knowing in the book versus in the show. Stakes are so much higher on the shoe. This season just Eloise and Colin and maybe the Queen
2024.05.19 06:28 Adorable_Compote_164 advice please ? anxiety
hey everyone, please help me. im so convinced i have a brain tumor. okay so a week ago, i noticed this head pressure. mainly when i get up, bend down, it's like a squeezing for a few seconds..and then i get headaches on my right side, does that mean that mean there's a tumor there ?! if it was big enough to be causing headaches on one side wouldn't there be more symptoms? the headache is mostly when i get up to do things. and head just feels weird when i stand up, like weird. lightheaded, fuzzy, pressure , and idk it feels tight by my nose. please reassure me this isn't a brain tumor. im making a appointment tomorrow and if it's to far im just gonna go to the ER but I'm terrified to sleep because I'm like what if I die in my sleep? how would I know if it's a brain tumor ??? I'm only 21. i have bad anxiety. this is so scary if it's not a brain tumor my anxiety is saying what if it's a vitamin deficiency and it stops my heart it won't right?.. also the spot below my eyebrow is twitching non stop my head mainly hurts when I get up and do things UPDATE: was at the ER today. told him about this. he said he didn't feel like a CT scan was needed plus I was already having a stomach ultra sound so he said he didn't want to use to much radiation. he checked my pupils, had me follow his fingers with my eyes, walk in lines and do more stuff with my hands and I passed. does that mean I'm okay? I'll def go back if I feel worse .
submitted by Adorable_Compote_164 to Anxiety [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 06:27 mrdrprofhog Stuff that helped me get better
I posted in this sub a few times last year when I was really going through it. Brain fog, anxiety, fatigue, vision issues, debilitating headaches and hyper sensitivity (“mini” concussions from small bumps of the head). I had 4-5 concussions over the course of 3 years, with 3 of those occurring within 2 months of each other. Outside of some lingering neck issues, I’ve made a full recovery and want to share what worked for me.
Please don’t let this long list stress you out though. There were days when getting out of bed in the morning felt like an accomplishment. Every recovery is different and only you can know what your body and brain are feeling.
Commitment After my most recent injury I decided that getting better was the most important thing in my life and I completely dedicated myself to my recovery. That’s why this list is as long as it is — I decided I was going to try everything.
Research Learning about concussions is a great place to start! It really helped me plan my course of action and think rationally about recovery. This sub is a great source of knowledge. Complete concussion management on YouTube has some great intro videos too.
Exercise I think that exercise was the #1 most important factor in my recovery. I started by going on short daily walks and doing light yoga in my house and eventually built up to 2x cardio 3x weightlifting 2x yoga every week. I got in the habit of exercising early in the day and felt like it really helped with my mental energy throughout the day.
Diet I tried to eat an anti inflammatory diet but it was hard (I really love to eat lol). I couldn’t go completely keto but I cut out carbs where I could and made an effort to cook all of my own meals with a lot of protein and vegetables. Avocado and olive oils give you omega 9s which are important for omega 3 absorption. I also didn’t really drink at all.
Supplements I don’t know exactly what worked and what didn’t but you should definitely be taking omega 3 (and probably creatine). My stack: - 4000 mg Nordic Naturals omega 3. Can cut down to normal dose after a couple months - 5 mg creatine monohydrate - 2000 mg magnesium l-theronate - 1g ImmPower AHCC (mushroom-based immune supplement) - 125 mcg vitamin d3 - Multivitamin - Dietary fiber + probiotic (gut health is important)
CBD Only way I could get to sleep for a couple months. Great for headaches. It’s also a nice substitute for alcohol when going out with friends.
Concussion clinic + Neurofeedback I went to a concussion clinic in NC shortly after my last concussion. Most of my problems were cognitive so my doctor recommended a neurofeedback program. I was super skeptical at first but it definitely improved my screen tolerance and I felt like it helped with teaching my brain how to switch off.
Neurologist + Nortryptoline Neurologists are really only good for one thing: prescribing meds. There’s a good chance you don’t need to take an SNRI but I had nerve damage at the site of impact that, whenever touched, would cause me a lot of pain and trigger hours of concussion symptoms. I think that my meds (prescribed for nerve pain) helped get some of this hypersensitivity under control.
Meditation There are people on this sub who can speak to this better than me but after a concussion your autonomic nervous system can be in an “always on” mode where you’re constantly in a state of fight or flight. Meditation while concussed is very challenging and won’t immediately zen you out but it will help you notice just how overactive your brain is and help you train yourself to redirect your attention when your mind runs wild.
Physical therapy + dry needling If you have any neck pain at all, go to PT. Seriously! It might be causing most if not all of your headaches. A few months of stretching and strengthening exercises helped resolve most of my headaches. Also, if dry needling is legal in your state, seek it out for really intense neck tightness. My PT offered needling and it was a godsend on my worst days.
Brain challenges I’m a computer programmer so getting back into work was challenging enough but I also made an effort to try to learn a new language and do some daily puzzles to help foster some new neural connections.
Try to relax when I bump my head Idk I still freak out when I bonk. I probably have had 30-40 “flare ups” over the past 2 years. No one on the internet seems to have a great answer for why this happens. I think it’s probably some sort of learned response from the brain in response to a stressor. I recently took the approach of doing everything in my power to chill out when I bump my head on something (including taking cbd immediately after). Not sure if this helped or I just needed time but I hit my head on a cabinet pretty hard last week and experienced no symptoms! That’s honestly what encouraged me to write this post.
I hope some of this will be helpful to someone. Feel free to comment or hit my dm’s if you want any more detail on anything.
submitted by mrdrprofhog to Concussion [link] [comments]
Please don’t let this long list stress you out though. There were days when getting out of bed in the morning felt like an accomplishment. Every recovery is different and only you can know what your body and brain are feeling.
Commitment After my most recent injury I decided that getting better was the most important thing in my life and I completely dedicated myself to my recovery. That’s why this list is as long as it is — I decided I was going to try everything.
Research Learning about concussions is a great place to start! It really helped me plan my course of action and think rationally about recovery. This sub is a great source of knowledge. Complete concussion management on YouTube has some great intro videos too.
Exercise I think that exercise was the #1 most important factor in my recovery. I started by going on short daily walks and doing light yoga in my house and eventually built up to 2x cardio 3x weightlifting 2x yoga every week. I got in the habit of exercising early in the day and felt like it really helped with my mental energy throughout the day.
Diet I tried to eat an anti inflammatory diet but it was hard (I really love to eat lol). I couldn’t go completely keto but I cut out carbs where I could and made an effort to cook all of my own meals with a lot of protein and vegetables. Avocado and olive oils give you omega 9s which are important for omega 3 absorption. I also didn’t really drink at all.
Supplements I don’t know exactly what worked and what didn’t but you should definitely be taking omega 3 (and probably creatine). My stack: - 4000 mg Nordic Naturals omega 3. Can cut down to normal dose after a couple months - 5 mg creatine monohydrate - 2000 mg magnesium l-theronate - 1g ImmPower AHCC (mushroom-based immune supplement) - 125 mcg vitamin d3 - Multivitamin - Dietary fiber + probiotic (gut health is important)
CBD Only way I could get to sleep for a couple months. Great for headaches. It’s also a nice substitute for alcohol when going out with friends.
Concussion clinic + Neurofeedback I went to a concussion clinic in NC shortly after my last concussion. Most of my problems were cognitive so my doctor recommended a neurofeedback program. I was super skeptical at first but it definitely improved my screen tolerance and I felt like it helped with teaching my brain how to switch off.
Neurologist + Nortryptoline Neurologists are really only good for one thing: prescribing meds. There’s a good chance you don’t need to take an SNRI but I had nerve damage at the site of impact that, whenever touched, would cause me a lot of pain and trigger hours of concussion symptoms. I think that my meds (prescribed for nerve pain) helped get some of this hypersensitivity under control.
Meditation There are people on this sub who can speak to this better than me but after a concussion your autonomic nervous system can be in an “always on” mode where you’re constantly in a state of fight or flight. Meditation while concussed is very challenging and won’t immediately zen you out but it will help you notice just how overactive your brain is and help you train yourself to redirect your attention when your mind runs wild.
Physical therapy + dry needling If you have any neck pain at all, go to PT. Seriously! It might be causing most if not all of your headaches. A few months of stretching and strengthening exercises helped resolve most of my headaches. Also, if dry needling is legal in your state, seek it out for really intense neck tightness. My PT offered needling and it was a godsend on my worst days.
Brain challenges I’m a computer programmer so getting back into work was challenging enough but I also made an effort to try to learn a new language and do some daily puzzles to help foster some new neural connections.
Try to relax when I bump my head Idk I still freak out when I bonk. I probably have had 30-40 “flare ups” over the past 2 years. No one on the internet seems to have a great answer for why this happens. I think it’s probably some sort of learned response from the brain in response to a stressor. I recently took the approach of doing everything in my power to chill out when I bump my head on something (including taking cbd immediately after). Not sure if this helped or I just needed time but I hit my head on a cabinet pretty hard last week and experienced no symptoms! That’s honestly what encouraged me to write this post.
I hope some of this will be helpful to someone. Feel free to comment or hit my dm’s if you want any more detail on anything.
2024.05.19 06:26 No_Schedule2050 It's so hard to differentiate the disassociative disorders
Sorry for the super long post, theres been a lot on my mind. Also, sorry if this is the wrong tag for this
To get down to it, I've been unable to get a therapist to start the diagnosis/evaluation process (thanks to the shitty healthcare system) of a few different disorders I suspect I have; autism, BPD and more recently, DID.
I like to think of myself as a very self-aware person who constantly psycho-analyzes both myself and those around me. I do my research and do my best to be diligent about how much my symptoms actually overlap with the symptoms of the disorder. Over the last 4-5 years I've done my research and have determined with 98% confidence that I'm autistic (especially now that my sister recently got officially diagnosed) and about 80% confident that I may have BPD.
About 2-3 years ago a very close friend of mine decided to trust me with the knowledge that they're a system, and in doing my due diligence to better understand them and what they might be going through, I dove into researching the disorder. Looking at articles, research papers, and of course; testimonies from other systems.
Over the course of doing this with the combination of my friend being almost completely open to me about what's going on in their head, how they see the world and how different alters interact with the world, I began to notice a pattern; I seemed to share a lot of the symptoms. However, I am well aware of how symptoms of different disorders can overlap with each other, even if you don't have both disorders.
I want to make it clear that I do have diagnosis for multiple disorders now, PTSD, ADHD and depression/anxiety. I always assumed all of my memory issues that I've had for as long as I can remember were due to either the ADHD or the PTSD, but recently (in the last 6ish months on and off) I've started to realize that the two disorders don't inflict the type of memory issues I have, among other things.
It's not that I "blackout" and then become conscious later on with no memory of how I got where I am or what I was doing, it's just... Things sort of move without moving. It's very difficult to explain but I'll do my best. I sort of just don't remember things, but I know the memory exists or sometimes I'll remember things that I previously couldn't, it's like a shoe cubby, sometimes the shoes are in there and sometimes it's not. One of the things that has tipped me off recently is the resurgence of an issue I had to deal with almost daily during covid, having a discussion with someone and coming to an agreement/understanding only to later, be it hours or days, not have any recollection of the conversation and having a completely different viewpoint.
I also recently have potentially begun to reach out to alters??? This one I'm not so sure about because I don't really get, errr, answers back? It's more of a presence/"feeling?" of a response or complete silence/lack of presence. In the last week or so I've noticed something slightly beyond that, I've begun to (only sometimes) notice when my head feels more "full" or "loud" and when I attempt to reach out to the presence, usually with thought, I'm met with sudden silence and the feeling of the presence moving away. And sometimes it feels as if I am communicating with someone, but I get headaches the more I try and the further into discussion about DID I go. If I am a system, I am a host who fronts 95% of the time but is co-con/co-fronting quite frequently.
I have shared this information with my friend who shared that they're a system and their response has been... mildly disconcerting. We both know how much of a mess each other are and how much co-morbidy messes with things, but they've said both that me having other dissociative disorders is likely, especially BPD since it's called "borderline" for a reason, however... They've also said that of all of the people they've talked to, I'm the only one who seems to understand their symptoms and how it affects them. And not in the academic way, the way they explained it was that I seem to understand it as if in some ways I experience it and that that's why they share with me as much of their experience as they do, because I understand. But they were very careful/gentle about how they approached this conversation as they know I've been grappling with it for a while now and they want to neither confirm or deny the possibility of me being a system as they're not qualified to give diagnosis, which I respect. But while in discussion with them about this very subject about a 3-4 weeks ago, potentially 3 different alters named themselves when previously there were no other names than the one I go by irl. They've helped me try and talk through it, to the best of their ability, giving ideas to try and establish contact/communication and it all feels so... foreign and wrong, even silly if I'm being honest. It's very frustrating as the more I try to figure it out and potentially form connections, the more confused I get.
I think I'm just wondering what other systems did/do when first being in the process of discovering they were a system. What was it like? How did you establish communication between the alters? What does communication look like for your system?
submitted by No_Schedule2050 to DID [link] [comments]
To get down to it, I've been unable to get a therapist to start the diagnosis/evaluation process (thanks to the shitty healthcare system) of a few different disorders I suspect I have; autism, BPD and more recently, DID.
I like to think of myself as a very self-aware person who constantly psycho-analyzes both myself and those around me. I do my research and do my best to be diligent about how much my symptoms actually overlap with the symptoms of the disorder. Over the last 4-5 years I've done my research and have determined with 98% confidence that I'm autistic (especially now that my sister recently got officially diagnosed) and about 80% confident that I may have BPD.
About 2-3 years ago a very close friend of mine decided to trust me with the knowledge that they're a system, and in doing my due diligence to better understand them and what they might be going through, I dove into researching the disorder. Looking at articles, research papers, and of course; testimonies from other systems.
Over the course of doing this with the combination of my friend being almost completely open to me about what's going on in their head, how they see the world and how different alters interact with the world, I began to notice a pattern; I seemed to share a lot of the symptoms. However, I am well aware of how symptoms of different disorders can overlap with each other, even if you don't have both disorders.
I want to make it clear that I do have diagnosis for multiple disorders now, PTSD, ADHD and depression/anxiety. I always assumed all of my memory issues that I've had for as long as I can remember were due to either the ADHD or the PTSD, but recently (in the last 6ish months on and off) I've started to realize that the two disorders don't inflict the type of memory issues I have, among other things.
It's not that I "blackout" and then become conscious later on with no memory of how I got where I am or what I was doing, it's just... Things sort of move without moving. It's very difficult to explain but I'll do my best. I sort of just don't remember things, but I know the memory exists or sometimes I'll remember things that I previously couldn't, it's like a shoe cubby, sometimes the shoes are in there and sometimes it's not. One of the things that has tipped me off recently is the resurgence of an issue I had to deal with almost daily during covid, having a discussion with someone and coming to an agreement/understanding only to later, be it hours or days, not have any recollection of the conversation and having a completely different viewpoint.
I also recently have potentially begun to reach out to alters??? This one I'm not so sure about because I don't really get, errr, answers back? It's more of a presence/"feeling?" of a response or complete silence/lack of presence. In the last week or so I've noticed something slightly beyond that, I've begun to (only sometimes) notice when my head feels more "full" or "loud" and when I attempt to reach out to the presence, usually with thought, I'm met with sudden silence and the feeling of the presence moving away. And sometimes it feels as if I am communicating with someone, but I get headaches the more I try and the further into discussion about DID I go. If I am a system, I am a host who fronts 95% of the time but is co-con/co-fronting quite frequently.
I have shared this information with my friend who shared that they're a system and their response has been... mildly disconcerting. We both know how much of a mess each other are and how much co-morbidy messes with things, but they've said both that me having other dissociative disorders is likely, especially BPD since it's called "borderline" for a reason, however... They've also said that of all of the people they've talked to, I'm the only one who seems to understand their symptoms and how it affects them. And not in the academic way, the way they explained it was that I seem to understand it as if in some ways I experience it and that that's why they share with me as much of their experience as they do, because I understand. But they were very careful/gentle about how they approached this conversation as they know I've been grappling with it for a while now and they want to neither confirm or deny the possibility of me being a system as they're not qualified to give diagnosis, which I respect. But while in discussion with them about this very subject about a 3-4 weeks ago, potentially 3 different alters named themselves when previously there were no other names than the one I go by irl. They've helped me try and talk through it, to the best of their ability, giving ideas to try and establish contact/communication and it all feels so... foreign and wrong, even silly if I'm being honest. It's very frustrating as the more I try to figure it out and potentially form connections, the more confused I get.
I think I'm just wondering what other systems did/do when first being in the process of discovering they were a system. What was it like? How did you establish communication between the alters? What does communication look like for your system?
2024.05.19 06:22 Transcendent_Raccoon 235 Days Sober
In an hour, I will be 235 days sober. I dont’t Reddit a lot, and never make posts, but I felt like sharing this so maybe someone on the fence out there will decide to stop drinking before they end up like me. Everyone knows the consequences of drinking, but seldom ever do I see anyone talk about what living like that is, what the first year of recovery feels like, etc.
I am an alcoholic, and I can never drink again. My body does something with alcohol that no “normal” person’s does. I got hit with a genetic double whammy from two alcoholic grandfathers plus high risk of substance abuse from autism. Coupled with working in a professional industry where consuming alcohol is almost mandatory, ignorance, and a shitty upbring, I never really had a chance.
I never really got into any trouble for drinking. I didn’t start fights, I didn’t get arrested for a DUI/DWI, I didn’t have wrecks, and I didn’t miss work. I had a high-paying albeit incredibly harrowing job and a fiance, but I was losing my health and my mind. Lots of unresolved mental issues and an extremely high stress environment meant that over a period of 2-3 years, my drinking spiraled out of control and I denied it the entire time. I tried to quit drinking, I couldn’t. I forced myself to dry out for 11 days regardless, and it was pure hell. Sweating, shaking, vomiting blood, psychosis, hallucinations, nausea, headache, diarrhea, extreme paranoia, brain fog, and fear. Pure terror, honestly. On the 12th day I drank, and I drank for another 3 months before I checked myself into rehab after losing everything.
My fiance left in a brutally cruel fashion along with her family, she took my dog, she stole cash, she had put me into some debt, etc. I had allowed my psychotic father back into my life previously and he picked this moment of desperation and abject hoplessness in my life to go full narcissist and ruin what little sanity I had left. I ended up drinking myself into psychosis, almost dying, almost committing suicide, and disappearing off the face of the planet before going to rehab. I didn’t want to live anymore; rehab was nightmarish. I made the best of it, but it was soul crushing in every way imaginable.
I joined AA as soon as rehab was over, declared bankruptcy, and am now trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. I honestly should not be alive right now, and I honestly still don’t want to be.
Drinking and what I went through because of it and other people has fundamentally changed me as a human being. I am a shell of myself. I deal with constant suicidal thoughts despite psychiatry (and a brain scan, blood test, X-ray, etc. no tumor), I have panic attacks for no reason, moments of intense terror for absolutely no reason, bouts of nihilistically staring at the wall for hours on end, no interest in anything, no desire to eat, inability to sleep, no social life outside of AA, and an outlook on life that is so fundamentally negative that I would not wish this on my worst enemy or any other human being no matter how heinous they are.
No one deserves to live this way, and this is the price I must pay for the last 5 years of my alcoholism. I force myself to work, I force myself to go to the gym, and I force myself to get out of bed and go to AA. Everything I do is a struggle with no meaning, motivation, or joy behind it. I am an automation, a wind-up toy soldier, and nothing more. My insides have been hollowed out, I can’t imagine 30 more years of this, and I can’t imagine ever fully recovering from this either.
Please, if you are on the fence, stop drinking. Don’t become me. It is pure hell, and I’m one of the lucky ones that didn’t end up homeless or in prison or dead. Living like this every single day is almost as much of a nightmare as drinking every single day was. Don’t do this to yourself.
Stop before it’s too late.
submitted by Transcendent_Raccoon to stopdrinking [link] [comments]
I am an alcoholic, and I can never drink again. My body does something with alcohol that no “normal” person’s does. I got hit with a genetic double whammy from two alcoholic grandfathers plus high risk of substance abuse from autism. Coupled with working in a professional industry where consuming alcohol is almost mandatory, ignorance, and a shitty upbring, I never really had a chance.
I never really got into any trouble for drinking. I didn’t start fights, I didn’t get arrested for a DUI/DWI, I didn’t have wrecks, and I didn’t miss work. I had a high-paying albeit incredibly harrowing job and a fiance, but I was losing my health and my mind. Lots of unresolved mental issues and an extremely high stress environment meant that over a period of 2-3 years, my drinking spiraled out of control and I denied it the entire time. I tried to quit drinking, I couldn’t. I forced myself to dry out for 11 days regardless, and it was pure hell. Sweating, shaking, vomiting blood, psychosis, hallucinations, nausea, headache, diarrhea, extreme paranoia, brain fog, and fear. Pure terror, honestly. On the 12th day I drank, and I drank for another 3 months before I checked myself into rehab after losing everything.
My fiance left in a brutally cruel fashion along with her family, she took my dog, she stole cash, she had put me into some debt, etc. I had allowed my psychotic father back into my life previously and he picked this moment of desperation and abject hoplessness in my life to go full narcissist and ruin what little sanity I had left. I ended up drinking myself into psychosis, almost dying, almost committing suicide, and disappearing off the face of the planet before going to rehab. I didn’t want to live anymore; rehab was nightmarish. I made the best of it, but it was soul crushing in every way imaginable.
I joined AA as soon as rehab was over, declared bankruptcy, and am now trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. I honestly should not be alive right now, and I honestly still don’t want to be.
Drinking and what I went through because of it and other people has fundamentally changed me as a human being. I am a shell of myself. I deal with constant suicidal thoughts despite psychiatry (and a brain scan, blood test, X-ray, etc. no tumor), I have panic attacks for no reason, moments of intense terror for absolutely no reason, bouts of nihilistically staring at the wall for hours on end, no interest in anything, no desire to eat, inability to sleep, no social life outside of AA, and an outlook on life that is so fundamentally negative that I would not wish this on my worst enemy or any other human being no matter how heinous they are.
No one deserves to live this way, and this is the price I must pay for the last 5 years of my alcoholism. I force myself to work, I force myself to go to the gym, and I force myself to get out of bed and go to AA. Everything I do is a struggle with no meaning, motivation, or joy behind it. I am an automation, a wind-up toy soldier, and nothing more. My insides have been hollowed out, I can’t imagine 30 more years of this, and I can’t imagine ever fully recovering from this either.
Please, if you are on the fence, stop drinking. Don’t become me. It is pure hell, and I’m one of the lucky ones that didn’t end up homeless or in prison or dead. Living like this every single day is almost as much of a nightmare as drinking every single day was. Don’t do this to yourself.
Stop before it’s too late.
2024.05.19 06:20 Aggravating_Fig_7377 Heartbroken
I lost one of my best friends this morning from a long battle with leukemia. I feel numb. 41 years old and just one of the most spectacular human beings you would ever hope to meet. I had the best conversations with him about just about every topic, including, woodworking ,which he was a master at. Or we could just sit there and sip a beer and not say a word at all. It just hurts to think none of those things will ever happen again.
submitted by Aggravating_Fig_7377 to GriefSupport [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 06:14 Mammoth-Mission1386 Nicely worded opinions please
There is no tldr, I don’t know how to summarize this. If you have time PLEASE read. I need opinions/advice/anything. Just please be kind with how you word whatever you want to say if you read to the end. Please. I’m not okay and I don’t have anywhere to go.
I have adopted children with a narcissist ex (friends that think the term narcissist is overused, which I agree with, have told me I’m the exception which is great and validating but who wants to be THAT exception??) My children are beyond high needs. It’s all mental, none of it physical so no one can see it readily. I’ve been divorced long enough I did a little healing. That seems to have made my ability to tolerate being treated horribly much much worse than when I was in the middle of it because I’m not numb anymore. I love my kids. I never wanted any, but my ex did. I let myself get convinced. I let myself fall in love with them. But I hate my life. I’m worried at this rate I won’t be there for them as they get older anyway. I worry I can’t be mentally and psychologically abused by my children every day they are with me, regardless of how much it’s in their control, while never really being able to have space from their father who abused me in every way but leaving a bruise that would show as proof it actually happened. I hate myself. I hate how I can’t be what I know they deserve me to be. My ex has what appears to be a fairly decent new girlfriend. They have a baby together (conceived 2 months after separation and probably within a week of us deciding on divorce). Overall I like her though there’s times she sides with him more than logic dictates but I’ve been in a relationship with him and I know what disagreements feel like so I’m doing my best not to blame her too much. With the foster agency we filled out a checklist of behaviors etc we were okay with and ones we weren’t. The agency did such a horrible job following up on anything the entire year they were “working” with the family prior to removal that they said the kids had no known behaviors when they actually check more than 90% of the boxes we said we weren’t okay with. I know none of this is the kids fault but I also know my limits and abilities and some I ignored and others were ignored by other people. I didn’t want kids. I didn’t want to parent alone. I didn’t want kids with more diagnoses and issues than I can count. I recognize that while I was being manipulated etc etc I may not have been as in control of my choices as I’d like to think I always am. I prefer to take responsibility for myself, often far more than is reasonable. I can’t stand to have any contact with their father. It hurts in a way I didn’t know my feelings could make me physically hurt. I don’t know how to live like this. I don’t know how long I can live like this. I want the best for my kids, I truly love them. So much it hurts me. But I want to live. I want to be okay. Either that or I want to be done. But just knowing the next decade or more of my life is going to be something that never lets me be okay, and hurts constantly, in ways I can’t put into words. How do I live with that? I don’t know that I will I matter how much I try. While I’m in this situation, I don’t see a way I’ll ever be okay. I can’t see how I can be any kind of good example of what to aspire to when you grow up let alone survive long enough for it to matter. Half of me thinks relinquishing my 50% custody would be better for them and 50% doesn’t. I 100% know it’s better for me but fuck me, I can’t do something better for myself just at their expense. If I could I’d have done what would have been better for everyone and disrupted the placement before adopting but that wouldn’t have been better for them at the time, just in hindsight. I don’t have friends, I have 2 people in my life I can talk to and they’re family and I don’t know how to say any of this in this sort of brutally honest way to them. I just need to know how crazy I am. Am I crazy selfish and internet just shove it down and deal or is thinking I deserve to be okay too much because I already made the commitment? But this isn’t what I was committing to. But that’s not their fault. Is giving custody to my ex better for them, knowing all the narcissistic behaviors, but hoping the kids won’t suffer from them in the way I did, because if he treated them like he treated me it would look bad and people WOULD see it, which isn’t usually when narcissists are at their most destructive. Or is it worse for them for me to be half present; or maybe eventually die. Because I’ve sadly had the people that know what it entails for me to keep them and to have to continue interacting with their dad, tell me if I keep them that I’m not going to live more than a year anyway.
submitted by Mammoth-Mission1386 to NarcissisticSpouses [link] [comments]
I have adopted children with a narcissist ex (friends that think the term narcissist is overused, which I agree with, have told me I’m the exception which is great and validating but who wants to be THAT exception??) My children are beyond high needs. It’s all mental, none of it physical so no one can see it readily. I’ve been divorced long enough I did a little healing. That seems to have made my ability to tolerate being treated horribly much much worse than when I was in the middle of it because I’m not numb anymore. I love my kids. I never wanted any, but my ex did. I let myself get convinced. I let myself fall in love with them. But I hate my life. I’m worried at this rate I won’t be there for them as they get older anyway. I worry I can’t be mentally and psychologically abused by my children every day they are with me, regardless of how much it’s in their control, while never really being able to have space from their father who abused me in every way but leaving a bruise that would show as proof it actually happened. I hate myself. I hate how I can’t be what I know they deserve me to be. My ex has what appears to be a fairly decent new girlfriend. They have a baby together (conceived 2 months after separation and probably within a week of us deciding on divorce). Overall I like her though there’s times she sides with him more than logic dictates but I’ve been in a relationship with him and I know what disagreements feel like so I’m doing my best not to blame her too much. With the foster agency we filled out a checklist of behaviors etc we were okay with and ones we weren’t. The agency did such a horrible job following up on anything the entire year they were “working” with the family prior to removal that they said the kids had no known behaviors when they actually check more than 90% of the boxes we said we weren’t okay with. I know none of this is the kids fault but I also know my limits and abilities and some I ignored and others were ignored by other people. I didn’t want kids. I didn’t want to parent alone. I didn’t want kids with more diagnoses and issues than I can count. I recognize that while I was being manipulated etc etc I may not have been as in control of my choices as I’d like to think I always am. I prefer to take responsibility for myself, often far more than is reasonable. I can’t stand to have any contact with their father. It hurts in a way I didn’t know my feelings could make me physically hurt. I don’t know how to live like this. I don’t know how long I can live like this. I want the best for my kids, I truly love them. So much it hurts me. But I want to live. I want to be okay. Either that or I want to be done. But just knowing the next decade or more of my life is going to be something that never lets me be okay, and hurts constantly, in ways I can’t put into words. How do I live with that? I don’t know that I will I matter how much I try. While I’m in this situation, I don’t see a way I’ll ever be okay. I can’t see how I can be any kind of good example of what to aspire to when you grow up let alone survive long enough for it to matter. Half of me thinks relinquishing my 50% custody would be better for them and 50% doesn’t. I 100% know it’s better for me but fuck me, I can’t do something better for myself just at their expense. If I could I’d have done what would have been better for everyone and disrupted the placement before adopting but that wouldn’t have been better for them at the time, just in hindsight. I don’t have friends, I have 2 people in my life I can talk to and they’re family and I don’t know how to say any of this in this sort of brutally honest way to them. I just need to know how crazy I am. Am I crazy selfish and internet just shove it down and deal or is thinking I deserve to be okay too much because I already made the commitment? But this isn’t what I was committing to. But that’s not their fault. Is giving custody to my ex better for them, knowing all the narcissistic behaviors, but hoping the kids won’t suffer from them in the way I did, because if he treated them like he treated me it would look bad and people WOULD see it, which isn’t usually when narcissists are at their most destructive. Or is it worse for them for me to be half present; or maybe eventually die. Because I’ve sadly had the people that know what it entails for me to keep them and to have to continue interacting with their dad, tell me if I keep them that I’m not going to live more than a year anyway.
2024.05.19 06:12 Good-Address4857 Early 20s, had PE couple years ago, now “symptoms” in my legs
I had bilateral PE two years ago and I’m scared I might have blood clots in the legs but I’m not sure. It started with random pain a couple days ago in both knees and ankles so walking and anything more than that hurts. Now today I felt numbness in my foot occasionally on both sides different times and a cramping feeling began a few hours ago. Started on one side then went away and now I feel it on the other leg. Calf area to be specific. My feet occasionally get tingly and numb feeling. Still painful to walk, about to be day 3 of this. Does anyone know if this could be a blood clot? Or just paranoia?
Nothing out of the ordinary before this, no injuries no extensive physical activity.
submitted by Good-Address4857 to DiagnoseMe [link] [comments]
Nothing out of the ordinary before this, no injuries no extensive physical activity.
2024.05.19 06:09 Tadpole173 Help!I may be a therian but questioning
Basically since young I’ve had a connection to animals like canids(Ik that doesn’t make you a therian) and a few times I would have shifts making meows,barks,howls and hisses and I would often have phantom limbs.I also used to do quadrobics in fields at my school and play with my friends like animals regularly. Ive always loved the forest and I have had moments where I just wanted to run and be free on all fours and climb and be and rest and bite things and that I didn’t feel very human like or like everyone else.Ive also been scared on this topic because I am religious(Christian) but I don’t think anything says you’ll go to hell due to identifying as an animal aka therian.I also feel connected to canids when doing quads or when shifts occur and felines when I have shifts to climb.I was a bit confused though with religion about identifying as an animal. To sum, wondered if I was a therian by my animalistic and non human feelings and behaviors and desires and connection to said animal when acting like them.
submitted by Tadpole173 to Therian [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 06:09 Just_Kris1102 I was better😡
I was better. So much better! Then I go and slightly overwork/overheat myself trying to clean my bathroom I've neglected for months, and now all the nerve pain is right back, along with the fainting and muscle spasms. I'm not even numb to all of it anymore so I have to get used to it all over again! Fml
submitted by Just_Kris1102 to FND [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 06:09 Miss_Understood_wolf Our hospital is awful! (Rant)
So it's me again, back for another rant! Life is tough, and I don't have anyone I can talk to. I'm just so tired of the way things are!
Last night me and my bestie decided to have a few drinks and just unwind, it was actually a lot of fun. We had some drinks and sang along to some music, it was overall just great. Unfortunately if everything went good, it wouldn't be much of a rant would it. The night was going fine, I had 3 cans of Mike's Hard Black cherry (super yummy and definitely recommend it) and I had 2 glasses of rum & coke, so nothing all that crazy for me compared to how much I have drank in the past. Around 3am I got hit with some mild chest pain...
The chest pain turned into a really intense pressure through my chest that ended up radiating through my back, it was nothing like what I've felt before, I get stress chest pains and honestly this experience made them seem somehow diminished in comparison. As the pain got worse I noticed I was having trouble breathing, it got so bad that I started getting nervous. Within 20 minutes of the chest pains starting I got genuinely scared and asked my bestie to take me to the hospital, anyone who knows me knows that I will avoid it at all cost so she knew that it had to be serious enough. She went into panic mode and in spite of everything I managed to stay calm and take control of the situation. As we pulled into the hospital parking lot I started feeling an almost primal fear, the type of fear you get when you think you're truly about to die.
I got to the front desk and was immediately told to come in and take vitals, they couldn't get a BP despite having the cuff on my arm for about 10 minutes, she finally gave up and asked me the usual questions about pain and stuff. Weirdly enough my arms decided to shift between pain and numbness and I suddenly started slurring while trying to explain myself, that was when all "care" was off limits to me. Our hospital has a bad habit of sweeping people under the rug if they even remotely suspect alcohol use, but the thing is I was fine moments before going in... I was perfectly coherent and I actually felt completely sober thanks probably to adrenaline or fear. I was sent back to the waiting area and told to just wait my turn, and things went from bad to worse quickly.
I didn't know that I had passed out, my bestie filled in the blanks for me. Apparently while we sat there waiting I kept coughing roughly, my eyes rolled to the back of my head, and apparently I kept making weird movements with my tongue sticking out. She said the best way of describing it is "I was behaving like I'd been severely drugged and suddenly seemed to spiral quickly". When I came too I was still in the waiting room, freezing, in severe pain (I don't do well in cold environments and the hospital is always freezing), and feeling just beyond exhausted. When I asked her about if we were even checked on she confirmed my thoughts... we were left there, away from other patients, out of sight of anyone who could help if things got deadly.
After managing to stand up I looked at my bestie and said that I didn't want to be there anymore because no one cared about me, she agreed with me on the terms that if anything else happened we'd go back immediately. When I went back to triage to tell them I was leaving the nurse gave me a smug look and asked if I was feeling better or do I just want to leave, so I answered with "better isn't the word I'd use but dying at home seems like a better option". She ripped the IV plug out of my arm (which I frankly don't remember having one inserted), and told me to have a good day. I felt so angry! The experience triggered my PTSD from the last time I went to the hospital (long story short, I was kept isolated in a room soaking wet and freezing until the department I needed decided to take me in).
I could have died, and no one would've cared because they suspected I was drunk!!! What if no one came to check on me at all?! What if they only found out I died because my bestie couldn't wake me?! Would they have maybe cared than? Or would they have just said "oh well she drank"? It's infuriating to be treated like nothing just because there was a little bit of alcohol involved, like I said I wasn't drunk and actually felt sober! My condition deteriorated rapidly over the course of a 5 minute car ride. I spent the whole day just feeling rough!
After we left the hospital my body just doesn't feel right. My chest feels fuzzy/bubbly, I don't know how to better describe the feeling as well as feeling tight. My breathing still feels really labored like it's taking a lot of effort to just keep going, and small things are leaving me feeling winded. All day I couldn't shake this weird chronic fatigue, I'm just drained of all energy. And I've been noticing my arms go completely numb if I lean on them, which is super alarming. As long as nothing else happens in between I'm planning on following up with my doctor because at least she's taking me seriously, if something else does happen though were gonna take the 3+ hour drive to the next nearest hospital. The scary thing is, that weird primal fear still hasn't gone away and I'm nervous about that!
submitted by Miss_Understood_wolf to ChronicPain [link] [comments]
Last night me and my bestie decided to have a few drinks and just unwind, it was actually a lot of fun. We had some drinks and sang along to some music, it was overall just great. Unfortunately if everything went good, it wouldn't be much of a rant would it. The night was going fine, I had 3 cans of Mike's Hard Black cherry (super yummy and definitely recommend it) and I had 2 glasses of rum & coke, so nothing all that crazy for me compared to how much I have drank in the past. Around 3am I got hit with some mild chest pain...
The chest pain turned into a really intense pressure through my chest that ended up radiating through my back, it was nothing like what I've felt before, I get stress chest pains and honestly this experience made them seem somehow diminished in comparison. As the pain got worse I noticed I was having trouble breathing, it got so bad that I started getting nervous. Within 20 minutes of the chest pains starting I got genuinely scared and asked my bestie to take me to the hospital, anyone who knows me knows that I will avoid it at all cost so she knew that it had to be serious enough. She went into panic mode and in spite of everything I managed to stay calm and take control of the situation. As we pulled into the hospital parking lot I started feeling an almost primal fear, the type of fear you get when you think you're truly about to die.
I got to the front desk and was immediately told to come in and take vitals, they couldn't get a BP despite having the cuff on my arm for about 10 minutes, she finally gave up and asked me the usual questions about pain and stuff. Weirdly enough my arms decided to shift between pain and numbness and I suddenly started slurring while trying to explain myself, that was when all "care" was off limits to me. Our hospital has a bad habit of sweeping people under the rug if they even remotely suspect alcohol use, but the thing is I was fine moments before going in... I was perfectly coherent and I actually felt completely sober thanks probably to adrenaline or fear. I was sent back to the waiting area and told to just wait my turn, and things went from bad to worse quickly.
I didn't know that I had passed out, my bestie filled in the blanks for me. Apparently while we sat there waiting I kept coughing roughly, my eyes rolled to the back of my head, and apparently I kept making weird movements with my tongue sticking out. She said the best way of describing it is "I was behaving like I'd been severely drugged and suddenly seemed to spiral quickly". When I came too I was still in the waiting room, freezing, in severe pain (I don't do well in cold environments and the hospital is always freezing), and feeling just beyond exhausted. When I asked her about if we were even checked on she confirmed my thoughts... we were left there, away from other patients, out of sight of anyone who could help if things got deadly.
After managing to stand up I looked at my bestie and said that I didn't want to be there anymore because no one cared about me, she agreed with me on the terms that if anything else happened we'd go back immediately. When I went back to triage to tell them I was leaving the nurse gave me a smug look and asked if I was feeling better or do I just want to leave, so I answered with "better isn't the word I'd use but dying at home seems like a better option". She ripped the IV plug out of my arm (which I frankly don't remember having one inserted), and told me to have a good day. I felt so angry! The experience triggered my PTSD from the last time I went to the hospital (long story short, I was kept isolated in a room soaking wet and freezing until the department I needed decided to take me in).
I could have died, and no one would've cared because they suspected I was drunk!!! What if no one came to check on me at all?! What if they only found out I died because my bestie couldn't wake me?! Would they have maybe cared than? Or would they have just said "oh well she drank"? It's infuriating to be treated like nothing just because there was a little bit of alcohol involved, like I said I wasn't drunk and actually felt sober! My condition deteriorated rapidly over the course of a 5 minute car ride. I spent the whole day just feeling rough!
After we left the hospital my body just doesn't feel right. My chest feels fuzzy/bubbly, I don't know how to better describe the feeling as well as feeling tight. My breathing still feels really labored like it's taking a lot of effort to just keep going, and small things are leaving me feeling winded. All day I couldn't shake this weird chronic fatigue, I'm just drained of all energy. And I've been noticing my arms go completely numb if I lean on them, which is super alarming. As long as nothing else happens in between I'm planning on following up with my doctor because at least she's taking me seriously, if something else does happen though were gonna take the 3+ hour drive to the next nearest hospital. The scary thing is, that weird primal fear still hasn't gone away and I'm nervous about that!
2024.05.19 06:08 Zealousideal-Lab-142 Appalling vaccine injury
 | Worth the listen. This poor woman volunteered for a vaccine trial and had one of the worst vaccine injuries from the AstraZeneca covid vaccine, leading her to consider suicide. She has severe nerve pain all over her body, electrical currents radiating from her heart, numb limbs, elevated heart rate, extreme sensitivity to light and sound, and so on. submitted by Zealousideal-Lab-142 to DebateVaccines [link] [comments] They didn’t include her sideeffects in the trial report released to the public because she didn’t get the second dose, which they advised her not to get (obviously because of the severe reaction). They stopped monitoring her after 60 days and ignored her emails/calls. In their public trial data the company states that they followed each patient for over 700 days, except for those who "dropped out". So because participants were injured from the first shot they were left out of the trial data altogether. Insane. She knows other covid vaccine injured trial participants that have gone through a similar experience and whose symptoms are not included in the studies. Even children. The drug company hasn’t paid a dime to cover medical treatment or loss of income. She is now trying to sue them for breach of contract. Her current treatment costs 3500 every two weeks for the rest of her life. This does not include all of her previous medical debt or loss of income. |
2024.05.19 06:06 Ok_Attention3291 Bartholin cyst marsupialization
Hi there, sorry if incorrect format or misspellings I'm on mobile and in so much pain. So I had a marsupialization done on my left side on Thursday (it's now going on Sunday almost midnight) and when I first came home I didn't really feel much as I was pretty numb, and I was knocked completely out for this. Then on Friday I was in a lot of pain and the area was black I mean it looked like I had been burned so bad and had charcoal there. So I called the drs office and they told me to alternate between ibuprofen and tylenol along with my oxycoden. They gave me that because I regularly take hydrocodone for chronic pain issues. Normally she doesn't give "pain" meds. But they told me no baths, no soap, they didn't give me any antibiotics and basically no real instructions. Now I've dealt with this same cyst for 8 years. I had it drained twice in office about 8 years ago, it seemed to work but never fully went away. Then I got pregnant and when I gave birth I asked if she could drain it but she said no because of infection, okay I get that. I asked again at my 6 week appointment and she asked " well does it bother you?" And I said no it's just uncomfortable and that's all I ever heard from every dr until I recently said yes it does because it was so large I couldn't even put a finger in my vagina, like my vagina was non existence. Which leads me to here. Now today I was in so much pain. It's not really black anymore but it's super swollen and red and I can't sit or lay down it's miserable and sorry for tmi but it smells awful. I use a water bottle after I pee, I really need to do number 2, but I can't I even have taken stool softners and it's right there but because of the pain I physically can't get it out which just is awful. Please tell me some of your experiences with this. I feel this will not end. I miss playing with my son and hanging out with him, my mom is a big help as we live with her, but I just hate this and I feel like it's botched or something, I am bleeding but not a lot and it's a dark color and doesn't smell great (sorry tmi) what can I do to help with some of this pain? I do ice as they told me no heat at all. Also my inner thigh and left butt cheek hurt as well. Sorry for the long post. Thank you so much.
submitted by Ok_Attention3291 to Healthyhooha [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 06:05 Significant-Ad-9836 Exercise post-TT
Hi everyone!
I was diagnosed with Grace’s about a month ago, after being hospitalised for thyrotoxicosis, and having had symptoms for around the last year.
I am having a TT on the 19th of June, because I never want to experience what I felt in the days before going to hospital EVER again.
Anyway, point of this post is, how quickly post TT can one start exercising (assuming all the stars align and medication is right first time and there are no complications?)
I LOVE running, but I have been struggling so much over the last year because of the headaches and heart rate. I miss it, and I so badly want to start training again.
I’ve just been walking for the last month while my meds have kicked in, and I feel well enough to start running again but won’t do so until my endo gives me the green light.
I asked her this question, but she just said it depends on my own healing - so I just want to get a frame of reference from others?
submitted by Significant-Ad-9836 to gravesdisease [link] [comments]
I was diagnosed with Grace’s about a month ago, after being hospitalised for thyrotoxicosis, and having had symptoms for around the last year.
I am having a TT on the 19th of June, because I never want to experience what I felt in the days before going to hospital EVER again.
Anyway, point of this post is, how quickly post TT can one start exercising (assuming all the stars align and medication is right first time and there are no complications?)
I LOVE running, but I have been struggling so much over the last year because of the headaches and heart rate. I miss it, and I so badly want to start training again.
I’ve just been walking for the last month while my meds have kicked in, and I feel well enough to start running again but won’t do so until my endo gives me the green light.
I asked her this question, but she just said it depends on my own healing - so I just want to get a frame of reference from others?
2024.05.19 06:04 TheWhiteMountainWolf I want my voice back
I’ve been dealing with LPR for 8 years now. Constant throat clearing, weak/horse voice, headaches/pressure, fatigue. It’s been a real blast. I’ve come a long way in my journey, but sometimes it seems like it’ll never end. I suppose I’m just needing to vent, and I hope you’ll Hear me, but more than anything… I just want my voice back. I used to sing and write songs. I used to be social. Even when my symptoms are managed to the best of my ability, my voice is weak and it feels as though I’m straining to talk through inflamed pipes. Try being yourself, being social, doing anything really when you can’t talk and really be yourself. I’m so fucking done with this shit. - Wishing you all health and healing.
submitted by TheWhiteMountainWolf to LPR [link] [comments]