Burning sensation in right

call me names.
I lock myself in a room, small dusty room - the dust is mostly dirt blows in through the open windows. pollen. it makes you sneeze, me sneeze, even after I close the windows, when it's getting too cold. call me 'sniffles', that's a name you could call me.
someone is afraid, long time they've been afraid and their fear makes them called 'fraidy cat'. they're shuddering. i look over at them in the corner and they shudder harder - i step closer, they shudder harder - like excited atoms, the friction, they start to glow. fire is burning in the corner of the room with them, in them, around them, and now the wallpaper (pale blue with little pink roses here and there) is charred black. hold out a hand (to offer them comfort), but the time is past (for comfort) and the soot blackens your fingertip. i wrote something in the soot like a dirty or a foggy car window (outside or inside, warm or cold). the wall was warm from their little inferno fire burning fire fire but it was years ago (the two steps across the room were years) and your finger doesn't burn, cold like a wall is cold. close the windows. the ashes make sniffles sneeze.
call yourself something big: you can be 'ace' or 'joe cool' or 'the fonz' or 'bullit' or 'brainy smurf' or 'indiana jones' or 'mr. creosote', point is that you've got a lot to give. I'm you. I know i'm you because in mirrors you look me right in the eye. I look over your shoulder. I push a boulder. The moon is like a boulder in space, weightless, and the earth and the sun are pushing it together. One does more work than the other. Rumor has it the moon's just an affectation the earth came up with to impress the sun. instead of reading this you should read that calvino story about the moon.
anyway, the moon's something big. all the dogs howl at it - of course they would. they're just a piece of the earth same as all of us, so it's a kind of arrogance then, the moonhowl, it's look-at-me look-how-great-I-am. I have some barbed wire too, the two dogs on opposite sides, one that's free and the other that isn't, the free one gets stuck below in the middle of the night and bleeds to death, the unfree one runs in circles pointlessly, digs a rut in the ground that matches the fence - the clever observation would be that the one with the name, 'fido' or 'rex' or 'killer', that despite being trapped in the boundary of the fence he's the one who's really free, and the one who has no name (he never had any use for one) is imprisoned in his own way, not by the fence but by his exclusion from the things that matter, the naming of things, etc. that's what you might write if you were trying to be clever.
instead of being clever, you could write the most obvious thing in the world. you could recite it, out loud, in public. you could read and write and recite to delight, the light that burns twice as bright, scribble with some graphite, at night. the persistent rumor (as advanced by the koyannisqatsi guy (that word, so mysterious and alien, of course actually just swiped like everything else from the people it once belonged to, belongs to him now)) that television rots children's brains has little basis in reality. i spent half my life watching television. if i remember correctly the gimmick in this film of his was that the kids were all zombies staring at the television, and the television was showing the disney adaptation of pinnochio or something. maybe it was dumbo. these are both films about being a prisoner. (sniffles might have been that disney dwarf, call him 'sneezy')
the thing i was getting at is that the cathode ray tube is where electrons go. your brain, your personality, it's all the same thing, electrons. they're stuck in your brain. some people believed that x-rays or gamma radiation or something were leeching out of the CRTs and this was why everyone was 'getting dumber', and they believed also that the programming itself was to blame, that if only we made the television more Moral and Upright and Proper things would finally fall into place. it never occurred to them that television was downstream of society itself, that is, them and their actions, the ones they do on purpose as well as the ones they do without thinking. in the cartoon, the wolf goes bananas because of how much of a hard-on he has for red riding hood, everyone is laughing when a train whistle comes out of his head or his eyes bulge out of their sockets, or his tongue is suddenly 50 feet long and unrolls like a red carpet, they laugh and the thought process which produces this hilarious moment is "sometimes desire is like your tongue unrolling like a carpet", "sometimes sex is like steam coming out of your ears", "sometimes your heart beats and every pump it's jutting ten feet out of your chest"
more and more quietly you walk up some stairs. they're creaky and you don't want to wake anyone. i say more and more because the first time you climb them, many years ago, it's too loud and you make the neighbors angry, and even though they don't tell you about it with words, you get the message. (one day you'll build a house with stairs that never creak or stairs that always creak, and this will solve the problem once and for all) the same goes for the heart-beats. heart beats too loud or too quietly. softly the heart beats. beats me.

Stupid question,I know — theyre hot, right ?
But I’ve had episodes of “temperature dysregulation” for 10+ years (since my early 40s) that I’ve blamed on lupus, never once considering it could be peri/meno. I am feeling dumb that it never occurred to me, and frustrated that not one of my many health providers in all this time has suggested it — but then maybe my hot/cold issues don’t jibe with how hot flashes are supposed to feel? So i thought i’d ask.
About half the time it’s not just the sudden burning up, which hurts, I also get really dizzy and feel ill, like I’m having a blood sugar crash or a migraine aura without the migraine. And sometimes the heat is followed by feeling cold.
So — sound like hot flashes?
As annoying as it is to think I was so clueless all these years, it would be nice to think that i could get this treated.

It was about five months ago. Me, my father, mother and my aunt and uncle all drove up to see the christmas lights.
In the car ride I mentioned to my aunt about a time she told an older couple my families house burned down (it didnt really) so they would help us with furniture and how I thought it was hilarious.
I guess she didn't take it the right way. She went on some traid about how great her sister and brother in law were, especially during holiday and how she'd rather spend time with them.
She also said something about how I should seek out someone like "Dr Kavorkian" (I'm on disability for manic depression) if you don't know the reference, he was a doctor who did physician assisted suicides.
Nobody in the car said a word, and now it's five months later and I still think about it. I brought it up to both my parents, and they honestly just act like I'm starting problems, or it didn't happen. They both threatened to ask or talk to her about it, but I don't think it was a good thing. Part of me believes they actually all believe in what she said.

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I had three friends whom I've known a little over a year; we're in the same class. We weren't super close, but still hung out at school and texted each other occasionally.
6 months ago, I was diagnosed with a burn-out because a lot of bad things happened in a short time-span, and they knew about all of it. I told them I wouldn't be able to attend classes in a while, but that I'd still be studying from home as often as possible. Of course they understood and told me to take my time and to ask for help if I needed it.
However, I made the mistake of only reaching out to them if I needed help, without me realizing it. Socializing in general drains my energy a lot in my current state, so I was way too focused on keeping up with school and not so much on maintaining our friendship. They quickly called me out on it and told me that they felt used by me if I only texted them when I need something. I told them that they were right and that I'd try and be a better friend to them again.
I kept my promise by starting to be more active in our group's chat again, but it kind of felt like they were ignoring my texts at this point. They were only responding to each other, not to me. I thought maybe we just needed to see each other again and reconnect. But when I went to school for the exams, I got the same treatment. I walked up to them and greeted everyone, but they barely even acknowledged my presence. I got a small "hi" before they continued talking to each other. And it went like that the entire week.
Now I realize I missed a lot while I was gone for a few months; they knew more about each other than I did at this point, so it was difficult to jump into the conversations they were having. Maybe I seemed too passive to them, idk. I tried asking about their lives, but I received really curt answers and then they went back to ignoring me. And they never once asked about me. I felt really unwelcome and unwanted the entire time.
After the week of exams, I stopped responding in our group's app because it genuinely felt like they were done with me. What I find strange about it though is that they directly asked me to be a better friend, but then they didn't give me the chance to be one. Anyway, a few weeks later they told me that they would be making a whole new group's chat without me in it because I wasn't active in it anyway and they "didn't want to spam me with their messages".
It's been a month since I've completely stopped talking to them and I dread going back to school for upcoming exams because I'll have to see them again.
AITA for not contacting them anymore? For not trying harder?

Newsflash, people are interested in politics because it impacts their lives. When people are talking about it on social media, the next logical step is to talk about it with friends and family.
No, we're not doomers when we point out that Big Oil, Big Coal, Big Gas, Big Car, Big Plane, Big Meat, Big Steel, Big Tech, and Big Rich are destroying the environment and society for record profits for them (and their shareholders). We're not doomers when we point out that without action, climate change and environmental destruction will threaten the very survival of civilization and biosphere as we know it.
We're not fear mongering when we point out that we're in a mass extinction event, and in times of ecosystem collapse, nitrogen and phosphorus overfertilization, freshwater overwithdrawal, ocean acification, too much ecotoxicity and waste and too much land use change. We're not doomers when we point out that these changes whether or not combined with each other, but certainly combined with climate change, will threaten the very survival of civilization and biosphere as we know it.
We're not radical when we say that services like healthcare, education, housing, public transportation, communication, etc. should be free and/or guaranteed for everyone. We're not radical when we point out that capitalism needs exploitation and racism to thrive and it's doing that now which is unacceptable.
We knew that since the 80s and 90s.
We're not doomers when we point out that the fabric of our democracies, justice and equality is being torn apart by the rich, neofascist far right politicians and dictators. We're not doomers when we point out that the police is brutal and it's unacceptable. We're not radical pointing out that most politicians are old and aren't fit for today's challenges.
We're not fear mongering when we say that there are two genocides happening in the world that we can't even vote to stop.
We're not radical pointing out that most societies are divisive. We're not radical pointing out that they're car centric, segregating, hostile to children, elderly and disabled.
We're not radical when we say that children shouldn't be punished by spanking and yelling, nor should they be punished for the smallest things.
We're not doomers when we say that there are other dangers like an EMP attack or a solar storm and we're not well prepared for them.
We're not fear mongering when we say that AI and biotech are serious risks and threats to humanity in the wrong and unregulated hands.
We're not too radical saying that you can't have children if housing, childcare, healthcare, education and transportation are unaffordable, shitty and inaccessible, when the future seems bleak, and when society hates kids and makes it hellish.
Look, we're not too young for politics. The planet is burning, causing tragedy, hardship, and death. The rich get richer and the poor can't afford a living. The fabric of democracy, justice and equality is being torn apart by the rich, neofascist far right politicians, and dictators. The police is brutal. AI and biotech are serious risks and dangers in the wrong and unregulated hands. There are two
Looks like you just want everyone who doesn't agree with you to shut up. "Capitalism is the end of economic history, there is no alternative" "Who cares that we're in a climate emergency and in times of severe environmental challenges that threaten the very survival of civilization and biosphere as we know it, the rich get richer and the poor can't afford a living, the rich, neofascist far right politicians and dictators destroy our democracy, most politicians are old and aren't fit for today's challenges, there are genocides happening in the world that we can't even vote to stop, there are other dangers like AI, biotech, EMP attacks and solar storms that we aren't well prepared for, let's talk about the 90s and 2000s HAHA".
If a treadmill is pushing you back (forwards is better society), the radical action is standing still, because you're not standing (you're moving backwards).
You cannot brush away the tangible consequences of our socioeconomic and political systems you've built and maintain.
Because God forbid we try to depropagandize democratic socialism and ecosocialism.
I'm not gonna say that we're only doom and gloom and we actually have visions of a future where humanity and nature thrive. Doomers are a plague, I know, but stating facts isn't being a doomer.

Before I go any further with this I know I have done some pretty stupid things over the years and I never really believed in the paranormal until this incident happened.
So about when me and my best friend were in highschool (year 11 to be exact) I was staying over at her place for the weekend after I had finished my work shift, it was around this time my best friend had an art project that was due soonish and she didn't have any inspiration to help her create something original. Then she came up with the idea to do a freaky photo shoot to see if that would help inspire her to create something ( and I ended up being her muse you could say) and mind you she is very much into special effects and stuff as she is a make-up artist in the making. So by the time she was finished with the make up you could say I looked like a decaying and walking corpse.
We decided to take some photos out in her backyard and then go analysis the pictures some got her attention and some didn't, so then I cleaned myself up and then we tried again, but this time an elf like character. That's when I got the "brilliant"(not so brilliant ) idea that maybe we should got to the nearby lake since there was some awesome places there that would be perfect. Mind you it was already 11:30pm at night.
The first mistake we made was actually going through with that idea at 11:30pm at night which well it was pretty stupid to begin with since will all the bad things happening around our local area ( missing people/ animals, murders etc), that alone should have been a clear indication that we shouldn't be going.
That wasn't a thought to us in the slightest,
So when my best friend drives us there and parks in the big empty car park( which was another clear indicator that we really shouldn't be there), we just sat in her car for a good minutes just discussing how the photos should be taken.....then that's when I got a chill down my spine and the sensation that we were being watched from somewhere. That feeling never left and to this day I can't believe my stupid self had just blantanly ignored that altogether. I wasn't the only one ,my best friend also got the exact same feeling I did and then we proceeded to get out of her car and start taking photos like we discussed. She has fake realistic swords and other weapons so we were using those as props and Everything was going perfectly fine (besides feeling like we were being watched).
What happened next still makes my heart stop, because the place we were at had hiking and biking trails as well as being surrounded by a woodland area. What we heard whilst in the middle of taking some more photos was the sound between a strangled and drying animal mix with a high pitch human scream and when I tell it sounded way too close comfort, I mean it sounded to close for comfort. That sound lasted for a good solid minute (just one singular sound with no breath in-between it) then it stopped and went erriely quiet. Way too quiet.
Now looking back on it, there was no sound of insects making any noise when we got out of the car and there was very certainly none after that sound. Which only means that there was a predator or something of the sorts nearby. I thought I was just hearing things or thought it possibly was just a native animal of sorts.
At this point me and best friend were starting to freak out a little bit, because then we heard the sound of sticks on ground snapping in half to the right of us near one of the hiking trails (which wasn't too far from where we were not that long ago) We tried to not panic and finish the last of the photos.(That was dumb idiotic idea know, but at this point we have made a few.)
I think I was zoning out and focusing on what she wanted me to ( for example,like hold the sword in a swinging position like you were about to slay down beast) I sensed that my best friend had stopped giving instructions and looked to her to see that she was standing and looking terrified to say the least
(This was our conversation in that moment)
Me:"uh... You good??"
My best friend:" slowly come over to me, but whatever you do. Don't .look , behind you."
When she said those words I instinctively and very stupidly looked behind me. To see that standing about a good 10 metres or so from me was a tall stocky but lean black figure that wasn't quite human nor animal from the looks of it ,but at first I thought I was a kangaroo ( yes I forgot to mention we live in Australia) with the way it was carrying itself. A very big kangaroo in this instance.
I then wished that I hadn't looked and now looked back at my best friend and now realised we needed to leave immediately. Because whatever the hell that thing behind me was, definitely wasn't friendly at all.
But we couldn't just bolt off back to the car as that would definitely cause the thing to chase down and it definitely would catch up with no trouble at all, so we had to as calmly as possible,pick up our belongings and slowly go back to the car. But since I didn't know what hell we were dealing with I didn't want to keep my back it as that would have very very stupid and I wanted to make sure it was still there. Thankfully it was but as soon as we got to her car and quickly got in(making sure the doors were locked), I look out the windshield and saw that it was no longer there.
We quickly high tailed it out of there and once back on the road, I then looked in the side mirror on my side of her car and saw the figure standing motionless in the middle of road watching us leave. That we when me and my best friend finally could process what just happened.
Then just before we got to the main road again, there was an actual kangaroo standing in the middle of the road which freaked us out more( but we didn't have a car accident from it) and went the car horn was beeped the kangaroo went on its way and so did we.
Once her place we quickly got inside and locked the doors, shut any open windows and locked as well as closed the curtains.The rest of the night and early morning we could hear scratching and tapping on the windows which we ignored and decided to go to bed.
Needlessly to say always trust your gut feeling or you may not live long enough to tell the tail.

TLDR: I'm a college student who when home for breaks comes back to my family's mice-infested house. My parents are seemingly doing nothing about it and because of it, my room is filled with a horrible piss smell. I have done a few things to try to stop the mice from getting in my room and plan on getting snap traps to kill the mice that keep getting in however I am tired of the piss smell. I have cleaned my room to get rid of the smell but that only gets rid of it for a few days. I am unable to take more preventative and effective measures for getting rid of mice seeing as this is my parent's house and not mine and am looking to see if there is anything I can do to get them out and keep them out of just my room so I don't have to deal with the overbearing smell anymore.
I'm a college student who lives at home during breaks and my family's house has a mouse issue. Last time I was home I was told by my parents that they were gonna work on fixing the mouse issue since I brought it up to them that the clothes I was leaving at home were getting eaten by the mice while I was away. I had also a few months ago bought a live trap to keep in my room but I only have it sitting out when I'm home since I don't want mice to get trapped and not get found for months since no one goes in my room while I'm away so while it has caught a few mice the few times I've been home over the past few months, for the most part, it hasn't been too effective. Now I'm home for the summer and not only does it seem like my parents haven't done anything about the mice but it also seems like they only live in my room. My room is in the dead center of my house and while I'm away I don't leave any sort of food in it so I'm not sure how it is that the mice would only be living in my room without being noticed in other places of the house however I have noticed that there is a horrible pee smell from the mice being in my room that isn't noticeable in the rest of the house. Right after getting home for the summer, I cleaned my entire room and used a multi-surface citrus-scented cleaner on everything, even my floors and it got rid of the smell for a few days, but it is now back and seems to be as strong as it was before despite me constantly having either a candle or incense burning. But like I said before, the smell is nowhere else in my house. And I'm positive it is from the mice pee because when I would move my things along my walls such as my dresser or bookshelf to find and clean the mice droppings and insulation they brought out of the walls, the smell would get stronger (also there's no other way a piss smell would be getting into my room). I now have the previously mentioned live trap out as well as when I cleaned I also taped up any holes they must be using to get into my room with multiple layers of flashing tape my parents have but neither of those things seem to be helping to solve the problem seeing as the smell (and droppings) quickly came back. Since this is my parents' place I can't do the more effective things such as doing things to the exterior of the house to prevent mice from getting in from the outside or having pest control come. I do however plan on getting some of the traditional mouse snap traps to keep in the corners that the mice seem the most active in but I'm wondering if there is anything more I can do as the smell is so overbearing and I want the mice gone as quickly as possible so I can officially get rid of the smell.

I (F20) have a crush on a classmate (M19), we go to school in IA and its complicated. I've learned that ADHD impacts my dating significantly with emotional dysfunction mostly as well as issues communicating. The schoolyear has ended, and we haven't spoken in about a week. Our last convo, I left him on opened... He gave me a somewhat short response that could've been summed up with "yeah", I didn't have anything to work with further so I just left him on read bc I hate feeling like someone is just letting me talk and that a conversation is one-sided (it happened a few times).
I'm wondering if I should reach out to contact him, bc I don't want him to think that I was just using him for help on homework, or think that I'm uninterested. I'm not sure how to handle this bc everyone has input on what to do and I think they all must have some reason to them but some also have 100s of comments saying that these pieces of advice are awful. Some say that if he's not texting you daily, he's uniterested. However, it would also make sense that he doesn't want to reach out bc he feels burned, or bc we're also going to two different universities, and that we're both in different cities since school's out or that we both lack time. It just seems very difficult, but what good thing is easy?
I keep thinking about him, and how he'd talk to me for hours explaining class topics even though he hates that class, or how a smile immediately went onto his face when I spoke to him. He never confessed to liking me, but I believe he does. I want to reach out-bc you should always try-and say something like "how are you" but I am nervous that I do reach out and he doesn't answer or that he just says "good" and I feel like an idiot, and think he is making fun of me. He doesn't seem like the type to make fun of me for wearing my heart on my sleeve, and he did tell me that he thought that I was smart. That compliment was dampened when I heard these promiscuous rumors about him, that shocked me bc he never seemed like he was that type.
Additionally, I keep/kept receiving signs pointing to him. His name just keeps appearing all over, as well as seeing things around town like seeing an advertisement for his old team in the checkout aisle. There's a million other examples, I feel like some of this must be fate. I believe that people can change as well. I also heard that he may have a girlfriend but I'm 90% that they've been done for a minuteee. The things said about him, contradict the things I believed about him. I also have picked bad guys in the past so that's why I'm questioning myself. I'm just feeling very conflicted right now, and I could use input. So please share any advice.

Recently I was offered a job as a MT for Enterprise and it was a fairly good interview experience. I moved through all 3 interviews in the span of one week so I’m not sure if that’s a red flag or not (probably just good managers idk). The job itself sounds doable but the more I think about it, the more dread I am feeling. The only reason I applied for this job is because my family was telling me how it would be good for experience, which I agree. However, I cannot see myself working there and I’m already experiencing stress thinking about how I’ll have no work life balance and be there almost 24/7 (45+ hours a week, almost 6 days a week). Even in the interview process they explained how work life balance is a problem and you just basically have to deal with it. As someone who just graduated from college, I have the time but I don’t want to burn out that quick right out of school. The job makes $53k which is a bit more than a lot of other jobs I am finding around my area. They are also only offering 7 days of PTO to start, which is pretty low from what I understand. Even though everyone who interviewed me was nice, I have a very bad gut feeling about this role. Even everything I’m reading on here there are mixed reviews, but majority of them are pretty negative and say stay far away from working at Enterprise. I have to call back to accept the offer this upcoming week and I’m unsure what to do. Should I accept and see how it is and go from there? Or should I spend a little more time applying for jobs that actually interest me and I could get more out of in the long run. If you’ve worked at Enterprise please let me know your experience and if it’s actually worth it.

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I have always lived my life with a strategic mindset, naturally as someone who was physically slower than others I had to know where to be & when. Thus being on time isn’t a habit of mine, although I’m extremely organized & plan my life meticulously. When I was 18 I dropped out of school to pursue business & rose to be the right hand for the company I work for. I have always described myself as feeling like Darth Vader kneeling before the Emperor ready to do his bidding when I’m with my boss. Thinking of it that way always made me feel badass, & I thought I was cool. I’m not, I’m a fucking joke at 24 years old. I now describe myself as Sheddar from the 87 TMMT & my boss is Krang. The only difference is that my boss is a brainless body not a bodyless brain. Everything I’ve done, has been in attempt to overthrow the power & become the one in charge while helping my boss into retirement. This way I can move up the social ranks in life. What saddens me is I feel I’ve grown intolerable to myself & others. I know those around me only gage conversations for either a reaction & entertainment or for business. I’ve noticed this in my family & friends too, I’m unable to socialize with people & women are afraid of me. I have accepted the fact that I’m a shitty person & I know people would dispute that since I’m capable of & do the right thing, but there is a big difference. To me good people are desired for their company, thoughts, & skills; I don’t have that, the only time my skills are desired are during business hours & I have failed to & can’t understand how to build relationships outside that anymore. I’m a fat ugly piece of shit who’s frustrated with himself for letting 24 years pass with nothing to show for, be proud of or fall back on. I don’t want to die a lonely virgin because I don’t know how to communicate properly & need time to myself to process things emotionally. The industry my company is in, is collapsing; I’ve already enrolled in school for the fall, but I just don’t see this going well anymore. I’m no longer confident in myself, I used to be an arrogant prick & now lay in the bed I made.
As Yabushige from the latest Shogun put it “My dead body
Don’t burn it, don’t burry it, just leave it in the field
& with it, fill the belly of some hungry dog”

The Pāli term bhavana-maya panna means experiential wisdom. Bhavanabhavana is meditation through which wisdom (panna) is cultivated. In order to understand the essence of the term bhavana-maya panna and its relevance to vedana (sensation), we first need to understand the meaning of the term panna.
Panna is derived from the root 'na' which means 'to know', prefixed by 'pa' meaning 'correctly'. Thus, the literal English translation of the word panna is 'to know correctly'. Commonly used equivalents are such words as 'insight', 'knowledge' or 'wisdom'. All these convey aspects of panna, but, as with all Pāli terms, no translation corresponds exactly.
In the ancient texts, panna is defined more precisely as yatha-bhutam-nana-dassanamyatha-bhuta-nana-dassanam, seeing things as they are, not as they appear to be. That is, understanding the true nature of anicca (impermanence), dukkha (suffering) and anatta (essencelessness) in all things. This realization leads to the ultimate truth of nibbana.
It may also be described as pakarena janati'ti pannapakarena janati ti panna - because it is understood through different angles it is panna. The Visuddhimagga elaborates on this explaining that the characteristic of panna is to penetrate the true nature of things. Its function is to dispel the darkness of ignorance, and prevent one from becoming bewildered by its manifestation. Its immediate cause is concentration (samadhi). Hence the words 'He whose mind is concentrated knows and sees things according to reality'.
The texts mention three types of panna: - suta-maya pannasuta-maya panna - cinta-maya pannacinta-maya panna and - bhavana-maya panna
Suta-maya panna is wisdom obtained from listening to others, from being instructed by others about impermanence, suffering and essencelessness. It may also develop from reading sacred texts. This type of panna is clearly dependent on an external source. Thus, suta-maya panna consists of learning which has been gained by listening to others (parato sutva patilabhati). Such wisdom is parokkha (inferred knowledge). This may inspire one to tread on the path of Dhamma, but in itself cannot lead to the attainment of liberation.
Cinta-maya panna is the wisdom obtained from one's own thinking, not just from hearing others (parato asutva patilabhati). It is the understanding of impermanence, suffering and essencelessness, from what one has grasped by the means of one's own intellect. It is the process of intellectually analyzing something to see whether it is logical and rational.
Having gone through such a process, one can then accept a teaching intellectually. One may thereby become knowledgeable about the theory of Dhamma, and may be able to explain it to others. One may even be able to help others realize the fact of anicca, dukkha and anatta, but still one cannot obtain liberation for oneself. On the contrary, there is a danger that one may accumulate more mental defilements by developing ego since one lacks the direct experience of wisdom.
Sometimes we find in the texts a change in the order of suta-maya panna and cinta-maya panna. At times cinta-maya panna is mentioned first, followed by suta-maya panna and bhavana-maya panna. At times, suta-maya panna is followed by cinta-maya panna and bhavana-maya panna. But in both cases, bhavana-maya panna comes at the end and is of prime importance for the realisation of truth.
It does not make any difference in which order we find the first two. Initially a person may listen to the Dhamma from an outside source - suta-maya panna, and then develop cinta-maya panna by rationally thinking about it, trying to understand anicca, dukkha and anatta intellectually, and thereby develop yoniso manasikara (right thinking).
Or one may start with cinta-maya panna, one's own intellectual understanding, by reflecting rationally on anicca, dukkha and anatta, and then, by listening to others (suta-maya panna), one may confirm one's intellectual understanding. We should remember that whichever of the two may come first, neither of them can give liberation. Liberation results only from bhavana-maya panna.
Bhavana-maya panna is the wisdom obtained by meditation - the wisdom that comes from the direct experience of the truth. This development of insight is also called vipassana-bhavana (Vipassana meditation). The meditator makes right effort and so realizes for himself that everything in the world is transitory, a source of suffering, and essenceless. This insight is not the mere acceptance of what someone else has said, nor the product of deductive reasoning. It is, rather, the direct comprehension of the reality of anicca, dukkha and anatta.
To develop bhavana-maya panna, we must experience all phenomena and understand their true nature. And this is done through experiencing vedana, (bodily sensations), because it is through these sensations that the totality of our nature manifests itself as pancakkhandha (the five aggregates).
The Visuddhimagga states - Ya vedayati ti vedana, sa vedayita lakkhana, anubhavanarasa...
-That which feels the objects is vedana; its characteristic is to experience, its function is to realize the object...
It is through vedana that we experience all phenomena - that we can directly experience our true nature of arising and passing away, that we experience anicca. Further, with every phenomenon, vedana is present.
As the Buddha said - Vedana-samosarana sabbe dhamma (AN 10.58)
-Everything that arises in the mind is accompanied by sensation.
Therefore, the specific tool that a Vipassana meditator uses to develop experiential wisdom is bodily sensation. By observing sensations objectively throughout the body, it is realized that they all have the same nature of arising and passing away (uppada-vaya dhammino); the nature of impermanence.
Having experienced this fact, one realizes that not only unpleasant sensations, but pleasant as well as neutral sensations are also a source of suffering. Further, by observing the ephemeral nature of all sensations, the meditator realizes how they are so insubstantial. They are changing every moment. That which is changing cannot be a source of happiness because an arisen pleasant sensation will eventually pass away, resulting in suffering due to our attachment to it. Moreover, these sensations are beyond our control and arise regardless of what we wish (anatta).
Through vedana, one can realize that all the other aggregates have the same nature of anicca, dukkha and anatta. By observing sensations throughout the body, the awareness becomes sharper and subtler and the entire process of mind can be observed. The observation of vedana is the most direct and tangible way to experience the reality of the entire mind-matter phenomenon.
The comprehensive insight gained through vedana, that is, by direct experience of vedana (paccanubhotipaccanubhoti), is bhavana-maya panna. Through this insight, one sees things as they really are (yatha-bhuta pajanati) and with repeated practice, one is gradually freed from the past conditioning of lobha (greed), dosa (hatred) and moha (ignorance). This leads to liberation.
The teachings of a Buddha are not for mere intellectual entertainment but to be directly experienced, because this alone can free one from the ingrained habit pattern of reacting with craving and aversion. Freedom from this past habit pattern is possible when one works with the body sensations. When one experiences pleasant sensations, at that moment, the past mental habit of craving arises. If one observes this objectively with anicca-bodha (realization of impermanence), the force of craving will gradually diminish and be eradicated.
In the same way, when one experiences an unpleasant sensation, at that moment the past mental habit pattern of aversion will arise. If one observes this objectively with anicca-bodha, then the force of aversion will gradually diminish and get eradicated.
Similarly, when one experiences neutral sensations, at that moment, the past mental habit pattern of ignorance arises. If one observes this experience objectively with anicca-bodha, the force of ignorance will gradually diminish and be eradicated.
Therefore, a Vipassana meditator specifically uses vedana as a tool to change the habit pattern of the mind and to eradicate the anusaya (deep-rooted latent tendencies to react). In this way, bhavana-maya panna changes the habit pattern of the mind through the development of insight into one's nature with the help of vedana. The Vipassana meditator attains this insight through observing bodily sensations. The deeper and more constant his insight, the closer he approaches the Ultimate Truth and the closer he comes to freedom from suffering.
This is the relevance of vedana in the development of bhavana-maya panna, the one and only way for liberation - ekayano maggo.
By Vipassana Research Institute

A lot is said (quite rightly) about Harry's sass.I'm currently rereading GoF and am at the chapter where Harry has a dream in the Divination class. I can't get over how quick he is with his replies even at a time when his scar is burning and he's unnerved by what he saw.
"I need to go to the hospital wing, I think," he said. "Bad headache."
"My dear, you were undoubtedly stimulated by the extraordinary clairvoyant vibrations of my room!" said Professor Trelawney. "If you leave now, you may lose the opportunity to see further than you have ever --"
"I don't want to see anything except a headache cure," said Harry.

I work out of a branch with too much everything (the downtown site of a city with a lot of homeless, mental health, and drug abuse issues) a summary is here: https://www.reddit.com/Libraries/comments/1bho810/tales_from_a_downtown_library/
A new regular however has been the source of the topic recently.
an older man who is probably around 80 has been in at least twice a week for the last month, he's actually kind of hard to write out due to most of the interactions I know are short, frustrating, and mostly nonsense, but my first experience with him dose a decent job:
He comes to my basement-level reference area where I mostly am alone, requesting tech assistance and the use of a public computer, immediately there are some pretty interesting quirks some age-related like blatantly ignoring instructions, typing o's instead of #0, seemingly forgetting very common applications, swiping at the screen like it's an iPad and the other issue:
He's trying to get information from his bank account, the library has a strict policy that I agree with that once we are on the main page of the bank's website we do not go any further with them, I have nothing to do with login going through the site whatever is needed because it's a huge liability and none of our business.
He has no idea how online banking works and I think doesn't understand online accounts at all (despite having an email and Facebook that's been shown in later interactions) and thinks if you type name and card number into separate boxes it will magically give you all banking information including air miles what he wanted again I should not know this he announced to me and anyone in the room, so good forbid someone with malicious intent help him in a public branch well know to have issues.
another patron comes for my assistance and she's kind of intense as well, this is now already burning me out between the two, and when he's up here again hovering at the front nose practically pressed to the glass the only thing separating us in an obvious attempt to get the most attention and quickly (like I'm dealing with a toddler that doesn't want to wait until you finish a phone call) I am shorter than before stating there are other patron's I need to serve as well he is not first in line now, the response is very childish and rudder muttering under his breath for while I'm still working with her that her question isn't important and not worth the time., she's more patient after that defending your right to service will do that for some.
the same bs continues and we get nowhere because he literally can't get anywhere without another pretty much taking the mouse and doing it, to the shock of no one hes been scammed badly before, and get this won't call the bank to get information because they ask too Meany questions for personal information and cannot understand they are the one place that should.
I am over it and get my coworker so I dont scream, he's the one who runs Makerspace and is very techy and tries in vain to explain sometimes a different person with a slightly different way helps it dose not worse. I have had 2 tech issues experiences I've called someone else to handle or lose it on a patron the first took nearly 50 minutes this guy took 15.
hes has since been in several times and is worse in a way something is wrong mainly suspected dementia due to age and not making a lot of sense won't acknowledge people's suggestions and common interactions include "Why won't you help me" *what do you need* "the government is _________, school is _____ nonsensical mutter, social security ___________ nonsensical mutter, the 1960s are _______ nonsensical mutter"
until 4 days ago we did not even know he was bilingual until a page of paper to the glass (upstairs thankfully with 2 staff and more witnesses) and started demanding things in French had been band for the weekend for tone, building a case for a longer ban that has to be approved.

Hello everyone, I'm gonna start this off by saying thanks to anybody who will read this as it will be a long one, and anybody willing to offer me any advice.
PS. This post started as a post where I was asking for college advice, but as I wrote more I realized any advice would be really helpful so I changed the title a bit, Thanks in advance again!
[[ Beware: My whole lifestory coming up combined with tired midnight grammar 😅 ]]
To get to the point, I currently live in Croatia and just turned 19 a couple of months ago and a time has come when I am again thinking about college. Some background on me, from when I was very little I was always interested in engineering and art, it all started when a teacher of mine in the 5th grade of primary school introduced me to programming and robotics. From then on I was in love with everything to do with electronics, robotics, mechanics programming, and fundamental sciences, maybe even math itself, but that's beside the point. During those years the passion for all of that really grew. I went to countless robotics competitions during my time at school there and even won lots of prizes. One time I almost came to world-level competitions but sadly missed the first place by a point. When I was home I sadly didn't have much equipment for any of these interests except a computer. It seemed limitless what I could do with it, whatever I wanted to do I could make it. It's not like electronics where as a kid getting parts was difficult except from old salvaged electronic devices. I could learn and make whatever I wanted, as long as the old family computer could run it. So I started learning a lot about computers during these times like basic algorithms and some basic games random Python scripts etc. In terms of computers, I was no genius, but for the age, I'm grateful I took the time to learn even the basics of it. Other than that I was a somewhat weird kid because I couldn't really take picking off some classmates as a joke and got annoyed at it quickly when they started interrupting me while I was drawing ( My dad was an artist in his youth so I picked that up from him, been scribbling every day in primary school when class was either boring or some kind of recess ) but even though they were picking on me, I to this day still really don't mind them, we were a pretty close class at the end of the day. And that's how most of my primary school went by, me being social with only a few friends and my informatics teacher as well. Other than that I was pretty sad during those years, I couldn't understand people and was contemplating the meaning of life as well, and that combined with me inheriting some stubbornness from mom, she and I were always fighting for homework, screentime, etc. Right now we are in a very good relationship so I'm greatful for that aswell. Seeing how I didnt really talk outside of school to many people expect a few friends ( I do live in a small village so if they were the same age as me they were in my class ) i basicly spent most of my time while not staying after school in a computer club we had for few hours every couple of days a week, i was cooped upped inside my house, playing with legos, being with grandparents or my cousins or being on computer and doing some programing, scripting, photoshoping and other things you can reasonably excect a child to do. And so passed most of my primary school.
When time came to plan for highschool, I originaly wanted to go to art school, but was quickly turned down by my mother because she thought it wasnt a smart idea. Personaly didn't like it at first, but she is a smart woman so in time i understood. Basicly other then liking to draw and paint, I wanted to go there bacause my best friend from class was going there and he also wanted me to come along. ( Funny how me the least popular guy and the youngest guy in class and he the most popular guy in class while also being the oldest were best friends, but thats a story for another day ) As my mom turned down my suggestion for art school she suggested I go to a school for a Mechatronics Technician. I didnt not like the idea as well I loved everything related to it. Other than that another option was Computer Technician ( basicly a programming oriented path ) but I decided mechatronics because i said to myself i can learn programing at home because the only tools i need are a computer, and mechanics, electronics and robotics is something I dont have at home so it will be really cool to learn all of that here and so, highschool started.
Oh how fast has the reality come crashing down as I understood what the whole mess of the education system actualy was. Most of the classes didnt have any equipment to actualy do anything practical, the other small portion that did the rest lf the 95% of class didnt understand anything so we couldnt do much or what was the more often scenario is that the proffesors just didnt really care at all so we would come to class and do absolutly nothing, like literaly nothing except waiting for the bell to ring. After i realised that I just started not coming to school most quite a bit. Mostly was not comming on fridays, some wednesdays etc most of the times I was actualy abit sick, but every time i was sick i exadurated it so my mom would let me stay home. Even though i was missing quite a bit of classes, if a class had something to do with math or logical thinking ( which most were ) i would usualy either be best at it in the class or almost the best for the pure reason I was actualy really interested and loved all the cool engineering stuff. On the other side if a subject was about 0 logic, full random name memorisation like the croatian literature class, I was almost if not the worst in class managing just barely to scrape by. Other than that there was one proffesor who I admired so much for his style of teaching, as he tought me so much during the only 2 years he lectured me ( my fourth year of highschool he was out because pention ). In simply half a year we went from 0 knowledge to designing, printing, creating and soldering a whole circuit on a pcb, I was always there for his classes. On the other time we were doing something else, he always had some cool stuff prepared when i was finished with work early, he was a great guy and still respect him alot. Other than that i was really disapointed how there existed zero after school activities that i could do that had to do anything with electronic, mechanics, robotics or programing.
On the side of my social life, the summer just before starting highschool I realised this was a great opportunity to redeem myself as i really didnt want to get picked on like in primary school. So what other kind of persona would somebody come up in this situation than one being supported by my pride itself, other than that i was basicly a "chameleon" aka adapting to every person around me which was probably the reason i made some friends but it usualy tired me out completly. And so it started really great actualy, nobody was picking on me, i was socialising ( only inside of my class usualy, other than the people who went to this town from my village that i already knew, but it was a big step up for me ) and learned how to shrug of others banter by pretending it didnt effect me. It was definitly in a better possition then primary school alright, but i did realise alot of people just moving away sometimes because of how i just increased pridefulness as i got more vulnerable. I think i was able to keep my pride to just below some overflowing point as i still managed to make a few friends.
And so some time passed, at home watching more videos about everything to do with engineering, getting a 3d printer and messing with it, programing some more and even trying to learn some business, economy and more about money. I even developed a game for the school as some special thing I got by talking to a teacher of mine. Other than that at the third year, thanks to a profesor i was able to get in touch with a software development company and was able to secure an internship for basicly the whole summer, which was a blast. I learned so much new things that opened doors to alot more things. After that i focused my random "Jack of all trades" learning to be mostly focused on modern used technologies, and the needs of possible job recruiters, and well it in general. That is the point i feel i truly started learning proper programing.
More on my development of pride, in highschool and in primary school i was actualy praised quite alot and being actualy abit good at something maybe was the thing that allowed me to get even some friends by being prideful. We can call that being lucky as the stars alligned, but anyways. During those years i also had two experiences with me falling in love for the first time. The first one didnt last more than a 4ish months maybe, it was basicly a crush thing that ended in a broken heart, but o boy it was a good waking called. I wonder what would happen to me without this realisation. Then the next one lasted basicly 7-8ish months in the 4th year of highschool, and this one was much more complicated and longer, but after it i learned quite a new few things. These two things really awoken me to who i am today, as i try to live each day with as much virtue as I can. I threw out the pride out of the window, and dont really care too much of somebodies bad opinions on me, if there are currently any. I came to terms with alot of things and am just able to accept things for what they are, without judgment.
As im writing this its quite late and am tired so sorry for bad grammar i want to shorten this abit. Basicly my whole life i loved scientists, engineers and the idea of colledge. Was always dreaming of becomingba "great scientist" like albert einstein or nikola tesla but the older i got, the more things i learned, the more that dream of going to colledge got shattered by reality. As i realised the giant flaws in the education system, after learning about money and realising colledges are just big businesses trying to earn alot of money, and that that is their main motivation, combines with seeing that scientists basicly to get any money and recognition these days need to literaly hop from trend to trend, research what is "in" currently or well no bread on the table just made the academia route of my life shatter before my eyes. Seeing how i knew quite abit computers i thought i could atleast land something, but after seeing people who were much longer in the industry praise me for a impressive knowledge on alot of fields and my ability to almost instantly grasp any concept thrown at me, i actualy got a job. Well this was how I decided to start working immediatly instead of going to colledge. After weighing the options combined with the additional knowledge i got about the job market, this was an obvious choice. I believe that my key to being objective is me being realistic, so sadly i know am not some do it all genious and know i need to rely on whatever i have to use as leverage to enhance my life, so learning from Warren Buffet that out of everything I got, my time was my biggest asset. Simply being young with the above average skills i have, I believe i have a reasonably good chance to have a virtous and fulfiling life.
But i still have that burning flame in my chest, i still love the idea i had of colledge, of becoming a scientist, an engineer. I tried looking for ways to convince myself otherwise and see that i was actualy wrong about it all, but each time i look, more and more i realise my initial assumptions were right. The world is slowly moving away from official education like colledges as everything can be learnt online, because of ai the next few years are going to be revolutionary in all of these fields so either the colledge courses are going to be very outdated or just some concept of a job will not simply be needed as a diffrent one apears. The posibilities and their volatility is just so high that i dont feel even 1% safe actualy going to colledge, seeing how devoting like 5 years to it will mean loosing the onlx advantage i can use, and that is me starting out young. And as a bonus because i have a job i actualy have more time than colledge to persume my other interest like mechanics and electronics as well as actualy funds.
Thanks for reading all of this, I can trust it was quite a journey reading everything i written basicly half asleep but i hope you were able to understand everything. Im really confused what to do, as I love both options but knowing that one has a much better chance of being useful to me than the other. Any advice you can give me will be greatly appriciated, be it about college like is there an actualy good colledge in europe thats is worth it in my place, or general life stuff, about work etc. Once again I cannot thank you enough for reading this and helping me. Thanks!
Edit: I havent said much about my job because this is more of a general reddit but for people who are in the field I am a backend developer, with some freelancing and opensource contributions on the side

i’m 20F, and i’ve always been afraid of death ever since i found out everybody dies (i was rlly young) and i’ve had health anxiety but it’s seemed to get way worse, i had 2 friends pass away in a span of 7 months, one from a car wreck and one from a heart problem, they were both 19.
and i started getting thoughts about it being me… or feeling as if im next, im terrified of these thoughts and i hope its just anxiety, and i never wanted to talk about it because i feel like talking abt it makes it reality i dont know im genuinely so scared. ive been struggling to sleep, i stopped driving, i haven’t driven a car in 6 months. when my friend drives me in hyper aware of everything around me and im scared someone wont slow down or someone will just ram into us head on, everytime a car passes my anxiety goes up so high and my heart beats out of my chest.
ive had many dreams of me dying, and when i jump awake my body genuinely feels a sensation ive never felt, a lot of end of the world dreams… ive never had dreams like these until after my first friend passed.
truth is i act like im not scared but i am so scared, i constantly hear things at night thinking someone is coming for me for whatever reason, and i start shaking and crying, thinking it’s my time
and ive been so so so tired, i constantly wanna lay down and i can’t do normal day activities because im so body exhausted, my room is a mess.
i wouldn’t say im unhappy, my life isn’t bad itself but my own brain lives in fear. i live in fear constantly.
and im scared it will be me…. i cant tell if the feeling i have is a warning and me knowing? or if its just my anxiety…
i try to think of my future i dream of and i can’t see it and i just, i cry often. i’m genuinely terrified and i could use any bit of insight right now. i feel off, always, i feel something is wrong with me.

I had my 7th session of LHR (Brazilian) yesterday, 12 weeks since my last appointment. Due to scheduling conflicts I went to a new technician. She did not ask me the typical questions like if I’m on new medication or anything like that. She went up from 12 to 14 joules on the machine and immediately it was MUCH more painful than I’m used to. She even checked in a few times but I knew she kicked up the power so I thought it was normal… Right after I left I was in pain. It felt like the treated area was on fire. I didn’t notice any visible issues aside from typical redness and carried on as normal. I did not shower or exfoliate.
When I woke up today I noticed significant marks all over my bikini line. They aren’t raised and aren’t painful or itchy at this point. Yesterday it felt like my skin was burnt but it doesn’t feel dry or crisp to the touch like a burn does…
I called the Medspa and she was pretty much clueless as to why this happened. She suggested using the Avene cicalfate+ cream. I also bought bio oil to hopefully prevent scarring. It is SO unsightly and I just am sooooo upset that I look like this right as summer is about to begin. I started LHR because my ingrown hairs made me SO self conscious, but here I am with yet another problem. I feel so heartbroken. I am so scared it is going to scar or leave hyperpigmentation marks. It’s all over my bikini line on both sides and my stomach.
She offered me to come in for Dermalux Tri-Wave MD Phototherapy this week to help with the healing process. Does anyone have suggestions as to what I should do next?!?:( thank you!

Hi so I'm 23 male and about 8 months ago I noticed 2 bumps inside of my anus . I was stressed for weeks and I used the acv method to burn them. I didn't go to doctor because I live in a third world Muslim country where sex is taboo and gay sex is punished by death penalty. My warts were gone but I'm still stressed because im not sure if I have more of them up there. I can't access them myself. I've looked with mirror and there's spot that looks weird I'm not sure if it's warts or fissure or just normal anus skin . Im not sure how deep warts can go. My bank account also can't afford getting appointments and surgery. The only thing that I'm doing right now is taking immune boosting supplements with ahcc . I don't care anymore.

Hey everyone,
I'm a 20-year-old « entrepreneur » in New Caledonia, and things just got a whole lot more complicated. I was set to launch a vending machine business (snacks, drinks, toys, souvenirs) for our roughly 270,000 strong population and about 300k tourists/ year. Seemed like a good fit for me. But then the riots erupted, and let me tell you, it's been brutal.
The Situation Here is Tough:

• Riots & Destruction: The violence has caused over 200 million$ in damages Many businesses, especially in the capital were burned or looted. Up to 2,000 jobs are reportedly at risk
• Fragile Economy: Even before the riots, New Caledonia's economy wasn't great. We're heavily reliant on nickel mining, which makes up about a quarter of private sector jobs, but that industry's been struggling with falling prices and foreign competition. Earlier this year, one of our major processing plants even had to shut down temporarily. So yeah, not exactly the most ideal situation to launch a new business.

The Good News (Kinda): * Investment Buddy: Thankfully, I have a partner who's willing to bootstrap a new idea with me, as long as we keep it under $50,000. ( the less the better) * Fresh Knowledge: I just finished my bachelor's degree in business and finance, so at least I have some recent knowledge to work with.
The Question: My original vending machine plan might still work eventually, but I have a feeling there might be a better approach right now, something that could actually benefit from the focus on rebuilding and potentially cater to the changing needs of the population. That's where you guys come in! What kind of business do you think would be a good fit for New Caledonia right now? Is there a way to adapt my vending machine idea to the current situation? Maybe there's a service or product people will need as things get back on their feet? Any and all ideas are welcome! The more creative, the better. Thanks a ton,
P.S. If you have any experience doing business in a similar situation, I'd especially love to hear your thoughts!